#i will put on cat ears and meow tho

[shawtylike]

i am not a furry

i am, however, an emo catboy

hope this helps

[ttkinnie]

Tokyo Revengers characters as animals 💖 (for no reason)

Kazutora: let's start with the most obvious one, our resident tiger. Which is funny considering he gives 0 tiger vibes. Or maybe rescued declawed tiger from an abusive circus. Wait a sec... Hanma and Kisaki have a circus theme going on... why did I never notice this? This starts well. Saddest tiger pic I could find

Baji: A black gray wolf of course. 'nuff said

Chifuyu: A cat. Kitty kitty meow meow. Not crazy enough to be orange, but he's gotta have green eyes and a kind face. This tuxedo:

Koko: Talking about cats, here he is. Most obvious choice I've ever made. Black cat of course, very fancy, will knock shit off the counter and eats only the most expensive wet food

Inupi: second most obvious one because you've gotta pick the race of the dog too. I say he's the only serious golden retriever you've ever seen.

Takemichi: A mouse. He is squeaky and scared, looks like he eats cheese. Very cute. Big eyes.

Hinata: A doe, beautiful and kind but will ram into you if you touch her loved ones

Naoto: a buck because I am unoriginal. he does give off buck vibes tho

Hanma: I know the official art makes him a caracal but I love being contradictory so maned wolf it is. Plus look at its long legs and creepy demeanor, it's him

Kisaki: Listen, I am not the most partial person when it comes to him. He's my little meow meow, I wanna put either cat or bunny ears on him and squish his cheeks. But! Let's be honest, that boy is a snake. The deadliest snake in the world, the saw scaled viper, not the most venomous but highly aggressive. He eats mouse Takemichi for breakfast. Also look at its scales, they remind me of his adult hair.

Mikey: A honey badger, small and cute but will bite your balls off and kill your family for fun.

Draken: A lion, beautiful mane and a symbol of strength. Lives among a tribe of lionesses (lucky him)

Mitsuya: I do not like spiders. At all. But an animal literally producing silk is the only choice for Mitsuya. However I am not masochistic so i won't put a spider image, just the web

Taiju: Great white shark. Very smooth skin. Anyone who tells you they have sandpaper skin is lying.

Hakkai: A seal, same eyes, same innocence, favorite prey of the great white shark

Yuzuha: An orca, beautiful but deadly. Only predator of the great white shark. Also eats seals but let's not comment on that. I support women's wrongs.

Pah-chin: it's too cliché to put warthog here, so i won't. He's a cane toad, one of the stupidest animal on Earth, one of their most common cause of death is eating shit they shouldn't because they stuff their mouth without thinking. They also hump anything, including dead animals from another species, and lay their eggs anywhere, which leads to a high mortality rate among their offspring. Why did I give so many facts? I don't know. Look at it.

Peh-yan: A tarsier. it's the eyes.

Sanzu: Arctic hare, crazy eyes and a gift for divination if you can understand his language

Senju: a cutie baby. Bunny x2, will kick you.

Takeomi: a rat. I am not a hater, rats can be cute, but this guy definitely gives off rat vibes

Wakasa: So very pretty. White leopard of course.

Benkei: A bull. I always thought his tattoos were a bull, but I was wrong I just looked it up. Still a bull.

Shinichiro: This one was though, but I'd say a koala. I'm partial about it, but I feel like he would give his children poop to eat, and their reproductive habits are also not a good look on them.

Emma: Japanese dwarf flying squirrel because I play favorites and that's the cutest little furball ever. it looks like it's wearing eyeliner

Izana: Another small but deadly thing, the Australian box jellyfish, found notably along the coast of Malaysia (I feel so clever right now)

Kakucho: Fiercely loyal dog, he's a Rottweiler. Don't tell me Izana and him don't have some kind of puppy play going on.

Ran: Secretary bird. Canonically hates Kisaki which explains why he stomps snakes to death. Wears killer eyeshadow and looks like they hate your fashion style

Rindou: Did you know a group of male Pacific tree frogs is called a chorus? me neither, which is why Rindou is a Pacific tree frog. Peace of music, yeah

Mucho: Polar bear, cold and aggressive. Plus arctic hare and polar bear, there's a theme

[adalricus]

(AMAB)Yandere!cat hybrid x gn!reader hcs:

- You were just coming back home from your job and it was raining

- Unbeknownst to you someone was following you home during that rainy night

- As you were opening the door you felt a cat rubbing against your leg and meowing at you loudly

- You couldn't just leave this little cutie outside

-You fed it only the best cat food and obviously pampered it, despite the fact it kept nipping at you with somehow the most loving face a creature gave

- You came home early from work one day just to find who you thought was cat, since you only saw it's ears being a GROWN (pretty short tho) MAN ON YOUR COUCH WITH CAT EARS AND A CAT TAIL

- You were horrified to say the least "I can explain!" The black heard man said

-After explaining you were just kinda mad tbh

- "I LET YOU IN THE BATHROOM WHILE I WAS BATHING AND YOU WATCHED IT ALL PERVERT!" "I MEAN HOW COULD I NOT? HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR ASS?"

- Dw you eventually got used to him

- He scents you all the time and acts so betrayed when you dare come back home smelling like another cat, much worse a DOG

- He is such a spoiled little shit

- Yes you'll buy high grade salmon and yes you will cook like a high grade chef

- Yes you'll season his chicken to perfection or his not eating

- WDYM YOU'RE TO TIRED TO COOK, well chase the fatigue away or some shit

- If you annoy him to much he may break a few glasses and plates to put you in your place.

- but don't you dare give him silent treatment he will use as a scratching post

- It took you a fuck-ton of time to convince him to tell you his birth name.

- It's Lynx btw

- This motherfucker thinks he's the boss of you, when in actuality 5'1 but he could still somehow beat your ass so..

- Please don't adopt a normal cat he will be devastated, is he not enough for you?

- Please don't think he doesn't care about you, he just only wants you to take care

- Like as in until the heat death of the universe and will probably stab someone with idk a pen? (He did actually do that at some point smh) to make sure that is assured

- If you keep coming home he will start marking you

- Don't give him affection at the wrong time will scratch you the fuck up

- How will you know when it's the right time tho? Just fuck around and find out ig

- Congrats now you have a catboy who you don't what he's feeling and probably doesn't know himself, attached to you.

[darkbluekies]

Silas asks #6

Previous one

Concept: I've put multiple asks into one post to avoid too much loose posts on my account! This way, you have more to read too<3

Warnings: slight mention of nsfw,

Giving Silas a little forehead kiss rn

good, he needs them desperately

Disrespectfully I’d be all over Silas, giving him the fattest kisses and so clingy to him like a stray cat

Silas simps concern me D:

Silas is bbg. Silas in cat ears.

no.

HELLO BLUE! i have an ask for my silly little meow meow silas 🥰 SO i was wondering 😈 how would he react to darling calling him petnames for the first time?

your what now?

He will love it. Every inch of his body will shiver visibly. For a second, he'll malfunction, but then he'll pull you closer, happier than ever.

"Call me that again."

I’m sorry but I’m a massive massive simp for Silas what’s wrong with me

you uh .... might have to go to a certain doctor to check that out ...

silas cuddles sound so cozy ugh. i love this silly little unhinged fella

same, his cuddles must be heaven. I'd never want to leave.

silas would pay for darlings nails 😌 and he would especially love it if you chose his favorite color. I'm not sure if you've ever brought it up but I think his fav color would be red.. and I imagine he would love it if you let him pick the exact color and design, tho he would find anything cute on his darling regardless 🫶

yes, he would. He would love to pick out the design on your nails so that a little part of him (or a reminder) will always be with you. But if you refuse, he'll let you pick ... as long you're happy, he's happy.

You: Silas isn’t healthy to have a relationship with. Me: *@ him* do you hear these lies?!

IT'S TRUE I PROMISE

Following up on the "Silas as a boyfriend" ask, what would Silas do if the reader was asexual?

He'd be a bit annoyed of course because of his needs that he wants to fill with you but he'd come up with other solutions for himself because you're comfort is more important than him getting laid

[irlcats-bracket]

Bracket 5 Semifinals 2

Blackie vs Maccabee

check their descriptions and catpaganda (new for blackie)

BLACKIE

This is Blackie, submitter's little one-eyed wonder. He lost his eye to glaucoma quite a few years ago, but he's doing a lot better now, and still likes to play with his sister, Artemis. His name is Blackie because that's what the shelter named him and submitter's family couldn't agree on a new name for him so it stuck, but submitter themselves call him 'Big Boi' because of just how massive he is. He was once very timid, but with time and love and patience he is now a certified lap cat who will come right up to strangers to demand pets. He has a wonderful squeaky meow and when he purrs it sounds like two cats purring at once. He likes to have people watch him eat and he will guide submitter's mom over to the couch and make her lay down just so he can sleep in her lap. Also, when he lays on his back, he covers his belly with his tail. Pictured is him in his signature polite boi sitting pose

MACCABEE

- weird old man

- known to bite people's elbows when prompted

- frequently sleeps with one (1) limb stretched in a random direction

- the reason submitter can't have pineapples in the house

- knows the word "treat," meaning it cannot be said out loud around him

- they got him for chanukah (hence the name). diversity win! this cat is jewish!

- they paid $150 to buy him a half-page ad in submitter's high school yearbook because he's worth it <3

CATPAGANDA

MACCABEE

has a post made by his human as a separate propaganda piece. it has bribery. the offer as far as i know still stands

also has agitational posters!!

BLACKIE

So glad to see Blackie still in the competition! His response so far has been "aow."

Truth be told, I'm running out of propaganda. If he make it to the next round, I'm gonna try my darnedest to capture his meows on video, which I haven't been able to do before because he sees me coming with the camera and starts purring XD

For now, more assorted Blackie facts!

Very rarely, when he gets the zoomies, he'll laugh. Like "huhuhuheueheHUEHEUE" kinda laugh.

I like to let him sniff human food/whatever I'm holding just to make sure he feels included (still doesn't like anything but pizza crumbs). But he has gagged on pickled ginger, banana, and CBD rub. He always gets really embarrassed when he gags tho

Ever since I got a job, he has been following me to bed and jumping on my chest to get the pets that he now lacks during the day.

If he sees you getting out the cat brush, he''ll lead you over to where he wants to be brushed.

On that note, when I had hurt my leg one time, Blackie saw that I wasn't leaning down to pet him and instead lead me over to the couch to have me sit down to pet him. He kept that up for a couple months once he saw how relieved it made me.

More Blackie propoganda! This time I bring you big boi in motion

link

Assorted Blackie facts:

A brave man when it comes to thunderstorms. But the vacuum? His mortal enemy.

The friendliest cat at the shelter. But the staff forced me to pick him up and hold him to get a picture and he got terrified and peed on me.

We think, based on how he acts, that he may have grown up in a home with dogs. But the mark on his ear is one done by our local neuter and release program, so we don't know if he was a stray, an outside cat, etc. But he's one of the friendliest cats I've ever met.

Will go up to his sister and put his head down to get it licked. But as soon as she goes to lick him and flattens his ears and raises a paw like he's gonna hit her. Sometimes they fight and sometimes they just walk away. We don't think he's trying to trick her because he acts genuinely confused throughout this process.

Sometimes he uses his back paw to scratch the back of his front leg when he's sitting down and it's so cute <3

These are old photos from when I used to hold a camera down and snap a photo when they leaned in to sniff the lens.

Blackie is our older cat and is such a gentleman. He is eager to love, he does the quickest slow blinks I've ever seen from a cat. He has a two-layered purr, it literally sounds like a cat purring as popcorn is being made in the background. He lost his eye to glaucoma when he was younger but he runs around and plays and teases his sister Artemis like a kitten. And his eyebrow whiskers grew down over his missing eye! He's not a big fan of people food but he has a fondness for pizza crumbs (NOT the crust. Just the crumbs off the plate when you're done eating the pizza). He walks like he's gingerly stepping through flowers and he's so gentle that the one time I overstimulated him and he wanted to bite me, he just shoved his closed mouth against my hand. He has a super long tongue and if you scratch the right spot between his shoulder blades he will lick the air. He's my precious boy who started out so scared but he's so brave and social and happy now just typing this out makes me wanna cry and go give him scritchies.

[theteasnake]

Killer Cat Cafe

I'll probably do more than these, I just wrote this late at night and need a stopping point.

Danny Johnson

Definitely a black cat with green eyes and white markings on his face. He's also got stripes that can only be seen in certain lighting.

He spends a lot of his time sitting up high and watching the customers. If he's not doing that, he's sitting in front of the tv, meowing until someone puts a horror movie on.

He's an attention whore and doesn't care about what others want. Oh? You want to leave? No, you're not. He's sitting on your lap now. This your food? No, it's not. It's his now.

He's one of the more popular cats because of how vocal he is and how friendly he seems. Even when he acts out, it's seen as adorable and causes people to take their phones out to film.

Will pose and stop anything to pose when someone whips out their phone.

Constantly making biscuits, especially on his favorite fabrics. He will claw anything he doesn't like tho, including customer's clothes.

He bites. And he bites hard. It's how he shows love.

He's got a scar on his face and a bit of his ear missing. There's more scars on his body, but his fur hides it.

He's a short hair but somehow has the thickest hair imaginable and sheds so much.

He was found sitting outside a bunch of people's windows, watching them.

Michael Myers

A cream burmese. He looks like any normal cat, but there's something... off with his eyes.

Due to his skittish behavior and aggressive nature, he's not allowed to be around guests. He's kept in a room with Max and a tv that's playing cartoons.

Only lets a small group of people touch him, otherwise you're getting bit.

Someone wearing a white coat of any kind and he's gonna make sure you walk out with a chunk missing.

Just make sure the tv is playing his favorites and his bowl is filled with food and he'll maybe not attack anyone.

After store hours, he can found with Danny and Amanda, purring away and half sleeping while the other two are fighting by him.

He tends to hide his face in paper bags. It got to the point that a special one with holes for his eyes and ears were made. Otherwise he would be stuck bumping into walls and almost getting a concussion.

Needs to be groomed. He demands to be groomed. Otherwise he will throw a fit. He hates shedding everywhere and the feeling of loose hair on him.

Grooms himself whenever someone dared to touch him. He'll even glare at them as he cleans the spot he was touched.

His previous owners magical died and he ended up in a shelter before he was taken to the Cafe.

Max Thompson Jr.

Lykoi cat with black tuffs of fur and some scaring.

Can't be alone and will cry and wail until someone finds him.

Constantly shaking and looks like he's two seconds from crying.

You have to dress him up in sweaters to keep him warm. He doesn't mind it, he actually likes them and even have favorites. He also likes being dressed up in costumes.

He's kept away from guests since he's not a 'conventionally' cute cat. And the poor guy has already been through enough. He's only allowed out if there's a worker to keep close to him.

Don't take him near a tub. Ever. You have to clean him with a wash cloth and a buck by your side.

He likes his cartoons, especially the super hero ones.

He is given special treatment due to his good behavior and background. By both the workers and other cats.

Amanda and Evan will let Max cuddle up to them for warmth.

He likes Christmas. Scratch that, he loves Christmas! He gets to wear cute ugly sweaters and is gifted new toys and clothes. He very much enjoys the pampering and attention.

He is the sweetest cat in the cafe. As long as you show him respect, he'll let you do anything to him.

Loves to be pet while making biscuits, it's an important ingredient.

Dresses up as Superman each Halloween.

He's very small compared to the others due to malnourishment, but he's doing his best to gain some weight.

He was abused and abandoned by his previous owners due to his gene mutation causing his hair loss. He would've died if he wasn't taken to the cafe.

Anna

American bobtail. Her coat is mainly black and white with specks of brown and tan.

She has a pile of stuffed animals. Don't touch her bunny one tho, she's very protective over it.

She takes care of any kittens that pass through the cafe. Or at least she tries. For some reason the workers keep taking them away from her.

She's very popular among the female guests. Probably because she attempts to castrate any male guest that tries to get close to her.

Loves belly rubs. Like a lot. Give her belly rubs and treats and she loves you for life.

She often tries to bring dead animals into the cafe. Because of that, she's banned from the outdoors.

She's very playful. She'll give customers toys for them to throw for her. She has so much energy and needs to run it off some how.

She's very peculiar when it comes to food. Always making sure everyone else has enough, and waiting until everyone is finished before she eats her food.

She purrs loud. Very, very loud. And hard.

She likes children, always going to them first and watching them like a hawk. Making sure they're not hurt, that they eat, and that they're happy. She'll punish the parents if the kids ever look upset or unsatisfied.

She goes feral during winter and runs away, but returns when spring is around the corner. She's chipped so the workers aren't worried about it.

She was found in the forest with a bunny plush. It's assumed she was abandoned there until they found a cabin that was owned by a woman, who sadly passed away.

Amanda Young

Orange Scottish fold with yellow eyes.

She's very reserve, preferring to stay up high and away from people. Tho, it seems she has warmed up to a doctor and his photographer boyfriend. There's also a cop she absolutely hates.

She likes to wear stylish collars, especially anything red or pig-related.

Hisses very often and swipes at guests if they suddenly touch her.

Very skittish and shouldn't be left unsupervised, or else she will end up purposefully injuring herself.

Tends to let Anna just lay on top of her. She likes the warmth and pressure.

Blankets. She loves blankets. Especially laying underneath them. And she needs to cuddle with someone in order to sleep, or else she will stay up all night.

Constantly play fighting with Danny.

Anna gave her a pig plush from her pile.

She often stares out windows, like she's grieving.

Very protective over Max. Will cut a bitch if they're talking shit about him.

She was found in a warehouse, lying by a cancer patient that died from blood loss due to a slash in his throat.

Evan MacMillan

Norwegian forest cat. He's mainly tan and white with some brown.

He's just... tired. Constantly tired. He was the first cat taken in and is the mascot of the cafe. Which makes him quite popular, but he's tired and exhausted.

He likes being alone, only really liking one person to see him at a time. He has own little corner with a single table and chair for his single guest.

He's too tired to fight anyone and just opts to going into Michael's and Max's room whenever people aren't following his rules. He won't come out for the rest of the day.

Constantly grooms himself and ends up with hairballs, so others have to rush to the brush before he accidentally consumes too much fur. Cause he will cough up a hairball into a guest's food if he doesn't like them.

Holds grudges. If he decides to not like you suddenly, he won't ever like you for the rest of his life. Ever.

He gets dirty very easily, and he hates it. He will yowl and scream by the bathtub until he is bathed.

Danny keeps trying to make biscuits on him. He gave up trying to avoid Danny after the third time it happened. Eventually, he learned that he didn't mind and somewhat enjoys it. Danny is annoying, but he's interesting company.

Likes to chew on bones and loves bone broth. Especially chicken bone broth. He also likes beef stew. Any soup dish that has meat is his favorite, basically.

He's not very playful or active, he mainly just lazes around in his cat bed, taking naps or watching the birds fly around outside.

His previous owner has shown up a few times, and each time he has to kicked out and Evan is nowhere to be seen for the rest of the day. At some point, a worker finally found him under a cabinet. How did he end up there considering his size and how small the space is? No one knows. It was a hassle to pull him out tho.

He was taken from his previous owner due to his owner's mental stability starting to fall apart and he had to be taken into a nursing home. Evan couldn't go with him, so he was given to the cafe.

[tryskomys]

Wet Sand

Stone Gossard x OC

Chapter 11 - She

Summary: let’s say that it was bad for my self-preservation.

masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫

notes: w o a h. this halloween story took so long that it’s half-past november. but finally, here it is. sorry it took so long, dearest readers. i feel like this is short af for some reason, even tho it’s fucking 6,6k words? idk i hope you like it <3 my timeline might be a bit off with this one - you’ll know what i’m talking about when you get there - but hey, that’s the way the cookie crumbles. the next chapter will be very important, so fingers crossed guys, let’s hope that it turns out cool! love you all <3

tws: mentions of shitty childhood, awkwardness, realisations. rude words (btw tipper gore is a ***** **** ** ***).

songs:

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫

October 31st, 1988

“Oh, look at you!” Keeva hollered as Jeff emerged from the staff room of the café, wearing little furry cat ears on top of his bandana. “Will you meow for me?”

“I’m not sure where you’re going with this, but you know - anything for the birthday girl,” Jeff shrugged and started re-filling the to-go cups.

“It’s a marketing strategy, Ames. You and your trapezoid jawline paired with cat ears equal big Halloween tips from every chick that walks through that door,” she explained, pointing at the paper bat decorations hanging along the walls. “And I really appreciate it, you’re like my little personal party clown!”

Keeva dreaded the celebrations that came with birthdays but thankfully, being born on Halloween slightly diluted everyone’s attention.

Back home, her birthday was usually acknowledged as an afterthought at dodgy Halloween parties and celebrated with a round or two of cheap alcohol. She never had enough friends to have a proper birthday party, but she didn’t mind - even a simple congratulation was a tough moment of awkwardness to swallow, so she appreciated the peace that came with being alone in the world.

But now, being in Seattle, she made more good friends in a year than any friends during all of the twenty years she’d been alive. And it showed - the day before, she visited Andy at the rehab center and he somehow managed to sneak in a piece of cake and wrote her a little song. They talked for hours, laughed, cried - and that alone was the most heartwarming celebration she’d ever had, which was strange considering the circumstances.

Chris called her first thing in the morning to congratulate her and to make sure she and Stone could make it to the release party of Soundgarden’s first album. It was supposed to be Halloween-themed - he was trying to sniff out whether they already had their costumes.

As soon as she came to work, Jeff popped out of the staff door with a cupcake and his signature cat-like grin, singing Happy Birthday as loud as he could because he knew she would be embarrassed - he got her the new guitar strings she’d been dying to try out.

But to her surprise, Stone didn’t tease her much in the morning before they both left for work. In fact, he didn’t make much of a fuss at all. She was glad, but deep inside she’d hoped that he would be the one to tease her the most, as always. It was strange that he was deliberately missing the opportunity to embarrass her.

“Well, if you make it ‘til the end of the day through all the birthday crap, you might get a little something.”

Keeva was inspired when Jeff put on Kiss at work a few days earlier - she did have a certain phase when she was a pre-teen, so she decided to tap into her inner child and dress up as Ace Frehley on the cover photo of Dressed To Kill. She’d borrowed a suit from Stone - she had to heavily cuff the pants and the sleeves and her tie was a couple of inches longer than it should be, but the whole attire ended up looking not too shabby.

The guys’ album was amazing. Electric, heavy and nothing like anything else going around. They played it live from start to finish at the official release party with all the important folks and then moved on to Kelly Curtis’s house to a more intimate party.

Keeva dropped the jacket some time ago, so there she was, sitting on the fluffy carpet of Kelly’s floor, her back resting against the wall. After tapping off the debris from her cigarette in the ashtray next to her, she took a big drag and let the smoke out through her nose with a big exhale.

She rolled up the sleeves of her white shirt and loosened the tie around her neck. When she was done, she sat back and silently observed the mayhem going around her - and for once in her life, she wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than a party.

Regan, sporting denim overalls and a straw hat, was in the corner next to the snack table, listening to a girl with pink bunny ears as she animatedly explained something to him. When he giggled, Keeva squinted with an amused smirk.

Is he blushing? What the hell…

Jerry, Mike and Sean from Alice - as the Three Blind Mice - were standing in a circle with Susan, who was the Tooth Fairy (Chris was the tooth), holding hands and frolicking to the rhythm of the Paula Abdul song that was booming through the speakers. She scoffed and took another puff.

God, Stoney must be having a field day with this soundtrack.

On cue, she searched for him in the crowd. He wasn’t with Kim or Jeff - The Godfather and Steven Tyler - who were standing by the speakers laughing, neither he was anywhere around the snack table. But after a few minutes of searching, her eyes finally fell upon him - he was alone, sitting on a cushion next to the fireplace and reading a magazine.

His face was obscured with thick weed smoke that swirled from his pipe, but the silver glitter around his eyes twinkled even through the cloud. She couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of his green boa jacket.

“Well, what do you think?” he exclaimed when he walked out of the bathroom and twirled around. She did a spit-take just as she was finishing her tea and stared at him. He had silver glitter smeared all over his eyes, along with some really strong black eyeliner. He had his hair down. It was unusually wavy today.

He looked otherworldly - from the neck up, that was. Keeva couldn’t hold a loud laugh when she darted between the big fluffy feathers he was wearing and the torn, clearly home-dyed jeans of a similar shade.

“You’re a hot frog?” she questioned, unable to tear her eyes off of the outrageous outfit. Stone rolled his eyes.

“No, try again.”

“A glittered-up bag of weed?”

“What? No!”

“A glammy quasi-reptile?”

“Yes! Exactly! I’m T-Rex!” he said and failed to keep a straight face, breaking into giggles. “T-Rex. Get it?”

She started cackling, too and felt her face paint smudge as the laughter forced a tear out of her eye.

“Sometimes I can’t decide if you’re a misunderstood genius or a complete moron.”

“Both can be true at the same time, Baby.”

Just as she was about to get up and go to him, something caught her attention.

Huh?

She wasn’t sure if she’d heard correctly, but under the general chattering and music appeared a silent melody from the other room. She could barely decipher the song.

Who the fuck is playing Stevie Ray Vaughan at one in the morning in the middle of a house party?

Her eyebrows knitted as she leaned backwards, curiously peeking into the room next to the hallway. Her lips slowly curled into an amused grin.

On a big velvet armchair next to the window sat a guy, clutching an acoustic guitar as he leaned closer to a record player to hear better. He was thin as a twig, the shadows of his ribcage kinda made him look like a kid. She could see all of that, because - for whatever reason - he was shirtless. He nodded his head back and forth to the rhythm of the song, brown hair shaking from side to side.

The widest of smiles spread across her face when he flipped his hair away, revealing his face - and most importantly the poorly drawn Ace makeup that was smudged all over it.

His eyes were rolled back into his skull and she could’ve sworn a droplet of drool was forming in the corner of his mouth. Most likely because he was shredding licks like there was no tomorrow.

He wasn’t playing as precisely as Stone or as sneakily as her - he was a completely different beast. It reminded her of a strange shamanic ritual, like he was trying to summon some sort of a blues deity that was living inside of him.

Keeva tried to perk her ears as much as she could, but she couldn’t properly hear him, so she decided to move a bit closer. She hopped up and snaked through the crowd to the other room. Even though the floor creaked as she stepped into the doorframe, the guy didn’t notice at all and continued his meditation.

She crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe as her grin grew wider. The way he was able to sustain the licks on an acoustic was mesmerizing. She was surprised she’d never seen him around before. Then, the record scratched and he went on his own for a few moments before finally stopping.

When he opened his eyes and noticed Keeva, he jumped in the armchair and let out a loud gasp. She could’ve sworn he muttered the tiniest “Ace?” under his breath in shock before grounding himself in reality.

Keeva giggled as he clutched on his chest. She could pinpoint the moment he snapped out of the trance - the melody visibly disappeared from his brown eyes as he rapidly blinked to focus on her, clearly somehow still not certain if Ace Frehley was really just standing there, judging his guitar playing.

That apparently wasn’t an easy task - with the way he was swaying in the armchair, rock and roll clearly wasn’t the only thing he was high on.

“Shit, how long have you been here?” he mumbled after he rubbed his eyes and squinted to get a better look at his surroundings. She sighed and nonchalantly checked her non-existent watch.

“About an hour and a half,” Keeva shrugged, but couldn’t keep a straight face when his button eyes nearly popped out of his head. Along with the thin pointy nose and bushy eyebrows, he reminded her of some small owl.

“Christ, sorry. Like, ten minutes,” she giggled, scratching her head. He huffed and cursed under his breath, softly banging his head against the guitar to wake himself up.

“Sneaking away, are we, Ace?” he questioned, giving her a cheeky smile. Keeva raised her eyebrows.

“I could ask you the same thing, Ace. You’re the one shredding along with the mighty SRV instead of socializing,” she quipped back but slowly began to feel bad that she interrupted what was clearly a moment of absolute peace.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude on you, just wanted to hear you better. I’ll be on my way again,” she continued and gave him a small smile, tapping the doorframe. “Just wanted to say you’re fucking amazing.”

“Uh, no, I’m rusty as hell, sorry. Haven’t played in some time. Thanks so much, though, thanks!” he humbly retorted just as she was turning around to leave. “I’m Mike, by the way!”

Keeva turned back and chuckled.

Rusty my ass. If you’re rusty, then I’m a freshly mummified Egyptian.

“Hey, Mike, I’m Keev-”

“Kiki, I know! So nice to meet you, greenie! Loved the show last night,” he babbled, motioning her to come back into the room. His enthusiasm was too contagious to shrug him off.

“Glad you did, Mike -” Keeva giggled and then a realization hit her, her eyes widening. “Wait. Mike…Mike? As in McCready?”

“Yeah?” he said, raising his eyebrows. She gasped.

“Oh man, so that’s why I haven’t seen you around!” she excitedly clapped and pattered over to him like a giddy child. She sat on the floor next to him, crossing her legs.

“Yeah, just got back a couple of months ago,” Mike said with a little slur in his voice. Her heart skipped a beat.

Fuck. Shadow. Let’s not go there.

"Stoney told me so much about you!” she rushed to change the subject and patted his bony knee. “Feel like I should get an autograph or something.”

“Not sure if that’s good or bad,” he chuckled and Keeva noticed a little blush filling his cheeks, even through the smudged white paint.

“Are you joking? We have a signed Shadow poster on the wall, sometimes I touch the little heart above the ‘i’ in your name for good luck,” she giggled again, but mentally punched herself.

Shit. No Shadow, idiot.

Mike was clearly not sure whether he should be happy or not.

“That’s cool.”

A few moments of awkward silence filled the otherwise empty room before he slid from the armchair like an eel and sat next to her, putting the guitar down in his place.

“Love the Jag, by the way! Such a cool one,” Mike said and ran his hand through his hair. Keeva grinned.

“Thanks! I love offsets in general, but Jags just have a special place in my heart. It’s like they have a bunch of built-in effects.”

“Yeah, that’s why I never learned how to work them,” he explained with a chuckle. “It feels like you gotta know fucking quantum physics to figure out all the switches.”

“Good point,” she leaned on her knees. “I’ve never really played anything else for as long, so…”

Mike’s eyes popped open.

“Wait, like this is your first guitar?”

“Well,” Keeva sighed. “Before that, I had a cheap little Mustang that fell apart almost as soon as I brought it home - bought that one off a kid at school for a bag of weed I stole from my parents.”

His innocent laugh indicated that he probably thought that was a cool thing. She continued with a shrug.

“So the first proper guitar, yeah. Seven years and counting. Although I think it’s, like, a ‘64, so it’s been going for quite some time.”

“Woah, nice,” he nodded and whistled. “Mom and Dad gave it to you?”

She let out a bitter scoff, which made him jump a little.

“Pft, fuck no,” she waved her hand and paused for a second. She surely wasn’t one to share childhood stories with anyone she stumbled upon at a party, but something about Mike’s eyes was so kind, so inviting. Like an old friend catching up with you, eagerly waiting to hear the tales of what had happened while he was gone. “One day I stumbled upon this tiny little music store near Shoreditch, that’s where I lived. I needed my Mustang repaired real bad - something wrong with the bridge.”

A tiny girl walked through a dim alleyway, dragging a guitar case that was nearly bigger than her - she was clearly struggling, her thin arms about as strong as two matchsticks. Little mousy curls were sticking out of her two pigtails as if she hadn’t brushed them for days and then braided them without a mirror.

Her eyebrows were twisted in a nervous frown and she chewed on her lips - even they were peppered with fair freckles, matching her whole face.

As she nearly stumbled through the door into a shabby music store, the bell above the frame rang so loudly she had to cringe. And her stress only grew when she walked in - behind the counter stood a man with a bushy beard, full of muscle and sporting an irritated glare.

He must’ve been at least six-foot-five. His huge hairy arms were crossed as he scanned her up and down, his face still hardened.

She could tell that he stopped to stare at the alarming grey patch of hair that was woven through the curls above her forehead - along with the deep dark circles under her eyes, it was obviously puzzling. Clearly, his sales didn’t come from malnourished greying pre-teens.

“Can I help you, pipsqueak?” he asked. His voice was gravely and deep as if he’d been smoking red Marbs ever since he was born - which must’ve been at least fifty years ago. She shuddered and dared to walk a bit closer.

“Um, t-this is my Mustang - I mean, my guitar,” she squeaked, looking everywhere but his face. The man scoffed.

“Yeah, I know what a Mustang is, love. What’s wrong with it?” he pressed and leaned on the counter. “Speak up, I don’t have all day.”

His accent was so thick that she had a tough time understanding him, even though she was born in this East End hovel with a similar one.

She had to swallow a sarcastic remark about his delusional belief that he was busy.

This is a run-down music shop in a dodgy alleyway in the middle of East London, mate. On a Tuesday.

“Well, here it is,” she said instead and struggled to lift the case up on the counter. When he reached out to help her, she gave him a shy smile and peeped a ‘thank you’.

He did a double-take between her and the guitar - the blue finish was battered and peeling, the bridge was covered in rust and the tuning pegs were falling apart.

“This bridge is fucking wank. This thing -” he pointed at the rusty piece of metal holding the strings. She interrupted him, though, unable to hold back her natural smart-ass attitude.

“Yeah, I know what a bridge is. Maybe you can tell me what’s wrong with it?”

She was surprised when he heartily chuckled, shaking his head.

“Little shit.”

He lifted the guitar and started studying it from up close - it looked like a toy in his hands. He grumbled when he fiddled with the bridge under the strings - it was wiggling from side to side.

“There’s a lot more wrong than the bridge with this piece of shit, love. Might be cheaper for you to just buy a new one,” he shrugged, pulling on the squeaking tuning pegs.

A wave of warm tears flooded the girl’s eyes, but she bravely pushed them back, fishing around the pockets of her leather jacket - it was at least three sizes bigger than it should be. Her hand shaking, she laid a crumpled ten-pound note on the counter and cleared her throat so her voice wouldn’t crack.

“What could I get for this? Maybe new strings at least? Or if you could just change one or two tuning pegs? I’ll make it work,” she pleaded, her cheeks flaming bright red when he raised his eyebrows even higher, darting between her devastated eyes and the money.

“That’s not how tuning pegs work, love. And you can’t put strings into this. Ask your old folks for some cabbage, I’m sure they’ll help out,” he said and put the guitar back into the case.

He frowned when he noticed a tiny tear falling out of her eye as she still stubbornly stared into the floor.

“Like fuck they would,” she muttered under her breath and unceremoniously wiped her wet nose with her sleeve before putting on a small smile. “Sorry. It’s okay, sir, thank you. I’ll figure it out.”

He hummed and crossed his arms again, but his expression started to soften.

“Let me guess, this used to be a twenty-pounder but half got dissolved into booze.”

That was the moment she looked up at him, proudly straightening her back with a defiant frown.

“No, it did not! It used to be a twenty-pounder and I worked very hard for it!” she said, her eyes filling with tears again. “Dad bought a bag of coke for the rest, not me.”

The man let out a big sigh and scratched the back of his neck, clearly feeling bad for judging so quickly.

“Sorry, pipsqueak,” he said and reached out to clumsily pet her head. “My folks were the same. I’d tell you it gets better, but you just gotta wait ‘til you’re old enough to move as far away as possible.”

“Yeah,” she peeped and started scratching off the already peeling faux leather on the case. There were a few moments of awkward silence as the man thought of his next words and then he pointed at her chest.

“You know any Zappa?” he asked, his voice gruff again. She nearly forgot she had this t-shirt on and now she regretted it. Warm goosebumps ran through her from head to toe and she felt like she was going to be sick. She didn’t expect having to play.

“N- well, y-yes…uh, I mean, no - or, I don’t know, I’m not very g-”

“You play me some Zappa and I’ll consider giving you a sale. Deal?” he raised his bushy eyebrows and walked behind a curtain made of wooden pearls before she could answer.

After a short minute, he came back - carrying a run-down pastel Fender Jaguar with deep wide scratches and dents in its baby pink lacquer. It was gorgeous.

“Try it on this one, love, think you two could be friends. Same attitude.”

Keeva woke herself up from the memory with a dreamy sigh, not even knowing how she told the story. But Mike’s smile was wide, latching onto each one of her words with an excited twinkle in his eyes.

“I ended up working in that shop, actually,” she said and couldn’t help but smile, too. “Mr. Hobbs kinda took me under his wing, taught me everything I know about music.”

“We should send him a gift basket, then,” he chuckled and nudged her with his elbow. She theatrically gasped and pressed her hand on her forehead.

“Oh, you flirt.”

Keeva could almost sense the familiar pattern of comically huge feet approaching the room.

“Who the hell is disturbing my Paula Abdul with this blues bull-” Stone’s mockingly agitated voice lamented as he entered. His coat was gone, hair even messier than before and glitter now all the way down to his chin. She couldn’t help a twitch in her eyebrow.

Fucking hell, why does he always look like he just made out with someone?

When Stone’s eyes fell on Mike, his grin grew so wide that his rare dimples appeared.

“Holy shit, McCready! I knew it was you! You’re fucking amazing,” he spewed and she eased up a bit. Stone suddenly had this childlike energy around him and it just melted her heart. And If Mike was excited before, now he was positively beaming.

“Stoney, my guy!” he exclaimed and spread his arms. “What’s up, man? Greenie here tried to sneak away but I trapped her. Saw the show last night, you guys are killing it.”

“Thanks, buddy!” Stone said, patting Mike’s shoulder. He sat down next to Keeva and slapped his knees. “You should’ve said hi!”

Mike scoffed.

“I had a shift from 5 AM today and you’re fucking irresistible. I knew you’d end up getting me hammered by midnight.”

“So you’re responsible now?” Stone groaned. “God dammit, another victim of the LA lifestyle.”

Another tense silence paused the happy attitude in the room. Keeva could tell Stone knew he talked before he thought his words through - just like her. Thankfully, Mike was happy to speak and change the subject.

“So when’s the record coming out?”

They both rolled their eyes and shrugged in unison, making Mike chuckle.

“Not sure yet,” Stone sighed. “It’s changing all the time. We want an EP out in Spring but no clue about the album.”

“Right now, we’re aiming for early ‘90, but God knows,” Keeva added and Mike’s eyes popped open.

“Early ‘90?!”

“Yeah,” Stone muttered. “Takes ages, I feel like it’s cursed or some shit.”

“How’s Andy doing?”

Now it was Mike’s turn to talk without thinking. And he, too, clearly regretted asking when they both let out an identical cheerless scoff followed by a big sigh.

“Great. Yeah, he’s great. Good,” Stone repeated, trying to sound positive. Keeva took a quick peek at him before nodding.

“Great,” she said, giving Mike a tight-lipped smile. His eyebrows knitted and he nodded, too.

“Got it.”

Suddenly, it seemed like no one in the room wanted to talk - as if they were all scared that they’d make another unfortunate remark. The joy in the room was snuffed out too easily for Keeva’s liking.

Just when she thought this birthday would pass without crying, she knew that was exactly the plan her mind made up for when they come home.

“So you guys live together I’ve heard?” Mike broke the silence, trying to lift the mood. “Finally moved out of your parent's basement, Stoney?”

That made Stone chuckle and Keeva took the opportunity to jab at him. It always loosened the mood in the crowd - somehow, people enjoyed watching them bicker.

“Still live in the shack behind their house, only there’s two of us now,” she said, elbowing Stone in the ribs when he reached out to pinch her waist.

“Yeah, I guess Baby expected to move into the fucking Waldorf-Astoria when I told her I have a free attic room,” he gritted his teeth as he pulled on her hair, causing her to yelp and slap his thigh.

“You never mentioned your sweaty underwear on the bathroom floor, you smart-ass,” she hissed back and kicked his shin, causing him to retreat and raise his arms in surrender while sticking his tongue out.

Finally, Mike broke into joyful laughter and they looked at him, both hiding a satisfied grin from each other.

“How long has that been going on?” Mike said through giggles, pointing a finger between them. “You’re cute as fuck together.”

Once again, the joy turned into awkwardness.

“Oh, we’re not - no. God, no,” Keeva babbled, forcing a disgusted grimace. She looked at Stone, who followed her suit and raised his eyebrows”

“Ever heard of the term ‘roommate’?”

Mike darted between them for a few seconds and then squinted.

“…yeah, right.”

Not allowing another cringy silence, Mike quickly whipped out his wallet and took out a scratched laminated card with dog ears.

“Check this out, Stoney!”

Keeva felt her eyes fill with tears as she stared at the silver-rank Ace Frehley collectible card in front of her as if it were the Holy Grail.

No fucking way.

“Holy shit,” Stone exclaimed and lunged forward, snatching the card from Mike’s hand. “You still have it!”

Keeva followed it with her eyes, pushing the tears back with an unbelieving smile. It was as if their words were deep under the sea, dulled in her ears by the mass of water.

No. Fucking. Way.

“Yup, my good luck charm,” Mike proudly straightened his back, laughing when Stone slapped his forehead.

“Oh man, you ripped me off pretty bad on this one. Who did I get for it again? A bronze Lemmy?”

Before Mike could answer, Keeva entered their conversation, her voice still breathy with disbelief.

“Fucking hell. I can’t believe you actually have it,” she whispered, reaching out. “Can I hold it?”

Stone frowned and snorted, clearly thinking it was one of her sarcastic routines. She looked at him with such sincerity that he handed it to her without question, though.

“You good?” he asked and she shuddered when her fingers brushed against his. They were soft and cold as ice, casually handing her a piece of her lost innocence.

“Yeah, just…fuck. Long story,” she shook her head, still smiling as she studied the silver line around the card, running her thumb across the printed figure of the twig-thin man in the same face paint that was smudged on her cheeks.

“It’s not like he’s busy or anything,” Stone said, hoping to get a reaction from her, but he only got a punch in the arm from Mike.

“Fuck off, Gossard,” he chuckled. “You go on, greenie.”

For the second time that night, Keeva decided to share a memory, still squeezing the card as if her life depended on it.

“Well, first off, I was never really that into them until I saw them on the telly in, uh…’76 I think? A re-run of The Midnight Special show -“

“Oh!” Mike popped in, clearly aware of what she was talking about. Stone seemed to have no clue, though. “Good ol’ sexual awakening by Paul Stanley’s chest hair?”

“Uh, not exactly,” she grinned and looked up at them for a second before turning her attention back to the card. “You know how Ace ripped that solo on She?”

Keeva saw Mike nod in her peripheral, while Stone shook his head.

“Tall as fuck, hunching, built like a malnourished toothpick, face full of weird makeup. The shiny Sunburst…” she dreamily sighed and slowly laid on her back, lifting her feet up on the armchair. She felt a bit lightheaded. “Man, I was gone.”

She turned to them again, clutching the card to her chest like a teenage girl with her diary. Mike was beaming with enthusiastic nods. Stone, though, had one of his unreadable expressions on, laced with a small smirk. Her heart skipped a beat in her chest as she dared to linger on the sparkles around his overwhelming eyes.

It’s your birthday, girlie. Be a little bold.

“So that planted the seeds of my chronically bizarre taste in men.”

“Entertain me,” Mike chuckled, suddenly unaware of the subtext behind her stare. Keeva snapped to the ceiling, leaving Stone’s puzzled squint behind. She focused on the tiny cracks near the light - she couldn’t tell them apart from dirt smudges thanks to her poor eyesight.

Stoney Gossard’s bony shoulders accidentally shimmying off his kaleidoscope vest.

He’s so unathletic.

“Uh, Peter Gabriel - stage makeup and reverse mohawk phase,” she started counting on her fingers.

Stoney Gossard’s chicken legs bunny-hopping around the stage.

God, he’s like a newborn chicken.

“- Thin White Duke,”

Stoney Gossard’s sweaty nose scrunching when he mouths his own riffs like a nerd.

It’s definitely too big for his face. Isn’t it? It is.

“- Brian May and his spider fingers in that white bat wing blouse…”

Stoney Gossard’s bug eyes dissociating into a different plane of existence. Glowing in the harsh stage lights like two eerie gems, silver eyeshadow running all the way down to his cheekbones. Black eyeliner smudging around his eyelids, glistening with beads of sweat.

He looks so unhinged, it’s baffling.

Stoney Gossard. Period.

“Yeah, that is a fucking weird bunch,” Stone’s irresistibly annoying voice snapped her back to reality as if to spite her.

Yup.

“Thanks, Stoney. Anyway, after that, I was looking for an Ace card for years, and it was nowhere to be found. Couldn’t get any records either, ‘cause even though I was saving up, they were always sold out…so I gave up after a while,” she continued her story.

“But, like, four years later, one of the kids from band brought a tape to a rehearsal, the Kiss interview with Tom Snyder.”

Mike nodded again, leaning forward like he wanted to encourage her to keep on remembering.

“And Ace was fucking wasted, funny as hell - that maniacal laugh. It was hysterical, the best thing I’ve ever seen. True love never grows old, I guess,” she chuckled and lifted the card to her face again to admire it. “I think that was the day that I changed from a girl to a woman.”

“Honestly, I think I changed from a boy to a man with that one,” Mike said, making her giggle.

“I believe that. Well, the next day, the record store I talked about got stocked and they had a silver Ace card, just like this one.”

She allowed herself a second to decide if she wanted to continue.

“I didn’t have any money, though, so I dragged myself to my favourite spot in Hyde Park and cried for hours.”

Okay, that’s enough for today.

As endearing as Mike was, she felt like she could’ve told the whole story only if it was just her and Stone in the room. And that made her feel more vulnerable than she’d ever admit to herself.

Strangely enough, maybe she would admit it to him.

“Christ, that’s devastating,” Mike said and reluctantly took the card back when she handed it to him with a sincere grin.

“It felt like the worst day of my life. And my parents were dope addicts, so that’s saying something.”

● ● ● ● ● ●

As soon as they got home, Keeva let out a loud groan.

“Home sweet home. Man, I can’t wait to take this shit off my face, ugh,” she shivered and headed straight to the bathroom.

“At least your tear ducts aren’t blocked by glitter,” Stone mumbled, clearly tired as well.

“Your choice, smart-ass,” she called before she closed the door behind her.

They talked to Mike for a few more hours and then beelined straight home, surprisingly from Stone’s initiative. He was really eager to go for some reason. They didn’t drink that much, considering that it was such an event. Keeva was tired from all the dealing with Polygram and clearly Stone must’ve been too.

When she finally rubbed all the makeup off, she got out of the bathroom, but he wasn’t there. The curtain to her room was open, though.

Shit, is he up there? It’s so messy, Jesus. I left the bra right in front of the entrance.

“Stoney?” she called, confused.

“Uh, over here!” his voice came back from upstairs - even further than her room. Then she had a realization.

Oh. The roof window?

Keeva hopped up the stairs. The window was indeed open, just big enough for one person to squeeze through. The roof wasn’t really angled and seemed kind of stable, but…

“The hell? Are you snooping around my room? You won’t find anything, officer! Search the bottom floor, my roomie consumes more grass than a common barn animal -“

She trailed off.

“Ta-da!” Stone exclaimed and threw his arms open just as she popped her head up the window. She felt like she was in a dream.

There was a thick checkered blanket spread on the wonky roof tiles and on it laid a bunch of snacks, a six-pack, Stone’s acoustic, a few scattered papers and a plate with a tower of pancakes, a lit candle stuck in the top one.

“Come hither! Sorry that I didn’t get a cake, but I made your favourite trampled-tyre-instant-pancake extravaganza earlier,” he said and reached out to help her up. When she was fully on the roof, he scratched the back of his neck with an embarrassed grin as he continued to ramble.

“Oh, and I brought a guitar and your notes for the stuff we haven’t finished yet, you know, in case you wanted to work on them so you wouldn’t be stressed. And I got you something else than a Bud for a change. And I have some Sun Chips and that disgusting cheddar dip you love, you know, the one that doesn’t share a single molecule with any kind of cheese on the planet. And a pack of M&M’s that only has the brown ones. And we have grapes! Grapes! Can you believe that? Can you? Uh…happy b-”

Keeva almost knocked the wind out of him with the sheer strength of her hug. A risky move since they were standing on a lousy roof, but she couldn’t think about anything else than him at that moment.

No. I can’t say it. I’m not gonna say it. Don’t say it.

“I love - I love it. Thank you so much, Stoney,” she mumbled, burying her flaming red cheeks into his chest. He chuckled and tightly wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her head.

“I know you said you hate surprises but I thought that maybe -”

“You changed my mind,” she finished his sentence and hoped that he would realize the weight of that statement. She felt a tiny kiss in her hair and before she could say anything else, he lifted her from the ground and swung her around like a doll.

“Holy shit, we’re standing on a roof! Put me down!” Keeva yelped, but couldn’t help but laugh at Stone’s little ‘wee’ sounds as the material squeaked under them. When he put her back down, he quickly flicked her nose and reached for a little paper bag next to the pancakes.

“This is for you.”

She grinned as she peeked into it, a blush spreading across her face. Her smile grew even wider when she pulled out an oversized black t-shirt, her eyes popping open. It had a big handwritten sign that spelled ‘I FUCKED TIPPER GORE’.

“It might be a little big, but I thought it was funny.”

He remembered the night they spent in the middle of the woods on his birthday drinking and devouring every snack they got their hands on. And he remembered their hour-long discussion about the whole ‘85 Tipper Sticker fiasco and her uncompromising drunken monologue.

“They just can’t handle the fact that music is inherently sexual! Like, it always has been and always will be, the very first songs were either religious or love songs and that makes complete sense! And when you play, you’re completely devoured by music as a feeling and it controls you. Your movements, your tempo, the way you slide on the strings, everything. You are fully under its control. And if music decides that it wants to express itself in an erotic way, then fucking fine! There’s nothing I can do, I’m just a medium that the music uses to do what it pleases. Christ, fucking ‘mothers for chastity’ my ass. No sad middle-aged housewives whose husbands don’t fuck them enough should have the power to tell kids what they should and shouldn’t listen to or how they should or shouldn’t express themselves. Especially when you just know those creepy old hags have been getting railed from the back in the front seat of a car at the drive-in movies not too long ago and creamed their knickers every time Elvis shook his fucking ass.”

Stone didn’t say anything after that, just broke into a fit of hysterical laughter until he couldn’t breathe.

“You made this by hand? For me?” Keeva said, astonished at the craftsmanship. He shrugged, clearly a bit embarrassed by the homemade gift.

“I took one of my plain black t-shirts and bought some fabric paint, the one that you iron after painting so it stays on. And, uh, yeah…I- I’m sorry it’s so shitty, but I wanted to give you something s-”

“It is so special, Stoney. I love it so much, I don’t even - I don’t know what to say, all of this is just…thank you, really,” she stuttered, giving him one more tight hug.

“It was like a ‘eureka’ moment for me back there, so I thought that the rant needed to be immortalized,” Stone chuckled and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

“A what? Why?” she giggled as she pulled away and started putting the t-shirt back in the bag.

“Uh, let’s just…let’s say that it was bad for my self-preservation,” he mumbled with a smirk and sat down on the blanket. Keeva wanted to comment on Stone’s sudden sheepishness, but it was like she was frozen in a spot at the sheer beauty of the moment.

The sky was almost laughably cliché - clear with countless twinkling stars and a full moon that shined so bright it made Stone’s skin look almost transparent. The whole city skyline was visible from where she stood, the Needle proudly stretching out into the settling fog.

“Well, let’s rip off the bandaid, Baby,” his obnoxiously charming nasal voice tore her out of her thoughts. “Your cake is getting more inedible with every minute and I don’t want you to chip your little vampire teeth before you even got a chance to suck me.”

And when she looked at her grinning friend, Keeva felt lightheaded.

Stone’s eyes were glowing brighter than ever - a head-spinning green field, full of mischief and hope for the future - as a realization slowly wrapped around her whole body like a delightfully warm blanket.

I’m in love with you.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫

[crtl-alt-delete-me]

Also tho

Hi, I’m Em/Emmy/Rat. I’m 27 right meow :3 I really love cats!!! Things that make me happy include: alt fashion, faeriecore, pretty lights, swamps, the scenery of the south, Ethel Cain and Hayden Anhedonia as a whole, abandoned houses, doll like looks, off putting looks and places, pretty hair, teeth, blood, whimsigoth, witchy things, the moon, the sun, the connection I have with the entirety of the universe, The Paper Chase, music that makes my chaos brain feel at home, Taylor Momsen, Emma D’arcy, the general state of being nonbinary and genderfluid, waterfalls, swimming, the way you sleep like a kitten after a long, fun day, kitten teeth, wearing kitty ears, feeling loved, being cute, doing my makeup, Juicy Couture, y2k nostalgia, goth music, goth everything, bats, pretty jewelry, dressing up, big stompy boots, warm hugs, forehead kisses, sun rises and sun sets, comfy couch naps, passing out while people chat quietly elsewhere or nearby, Bratz, watching movies that make me happy, 2000s Care Bears, sanrioooooooo, Kuromi n Magical Twin Comets, Mewkledreamy, glitter, butterflies, heart shaped anything…. Uhhhh lots of stuff :3

[cathumanthing2]

sometimes i think, "i wasn't THAT weird of a child", then i remember that i:

hypnotized/tried to hypnotize people.

jumped off of playground equipment then when teachers told me to stop i would explain how ACTUALLY, i was doing it in a safe way because *starts talking about physics* (i was 9. it consistently got me out of trouble)

convinced kids to buy "moisturizer" made of crushed rocks and water for the price of 2 stickers and a dime. i got my best friend to help me

sharpened woodchips on bricks to turn them sharp so i could use them as weapons

geniuinely thought i had an invisible tail and cat ears at one point. like. actual tails and ears

regularly listened to subliminal audios

practiced genuine witchcraft

did not understand boundaries and heard a guy had a crush on me so i kept trying to flirt with him. he moved to a different school the next year. i was 7

made ants a restaurant made of leaves

yelled at kids for stepping on worms

meowed and hissed at people

dug a "burrow" in the woodchips under a slide because i heard that in the winter animal burrows under the earth were a lot warmer - and guess what, it WAS

spread a rumor that there was a beast in the fenced in area that only janitors could go in that the teachers fed annoying kids to

believed my friend wholeheartedly when she tricked me into thinking she was secretly a mermaid princess. in my defense, i was 6

tried to learn how to pickpocket people

ate inedible objects and convinced my friends to eat inedible things aswell

started a bread cult

brought books to a playdate so we could read the whole time

helped spread a rumor that the ghost of (guy who thr school is named after) haunted the playground by basically vandalizing

would bring carrots to recess and put them in piles of snow to feed any hungry animals who can't find food due to the winter

convinced myself i had crushes on countless boys when i really didn't which caused me to become slightly obsessed with making it look like i really did. cue me making kissy faces at other 6 year olds at recess and giving a kid who absolutely hated me a love note on his birthday with a few chocolates

related to the last one, in kindergarten i would say i was in love with this one kid so much everywhere even in school projects that my teacher had to talk to me about it

when my cat was dying in front of me i started cackling like a madman

ive regularly stayed up past midnight reading since i was 7. back then tho i did it on school nights

when i had to do a "what would i do if i were president" project in the 1st grade the thing i suggested to do was literally socialism

i regularly snuck classroom books home from school without permission from my teacher cuz i didnt wanna stop reading them and i was scared she would say no

my reading level was around freshman in highschool level when I was in 1st grade

and finally, in 4th grade when I started watching the owl house, I related to Luz on SUCH massive amounts like. YES THAT IS *ME* I SEE *MYSELF* ITS *ME*

anyways i was such a weird kid. i was very very odd.

[miyaniacs]

Corrupted by Darkness

- Chapter 11 -

Chapter 10 ; Wattpad ; AO3

A/N: Heyyyy again THANK YOU ALL SO SO MUCH! I was so overwhelmed and happy with your responses <3  I try to write more now while I take some breaks from studying and working out :D I finally more of a plan on how to continue with the whole Azriel or Xaden drama ^^and maybe You‘ll now get the  inner circle and the fourth wing squad together now ^^

Nea‘s POV

Warm rays of sunlight, warm my face and wake me up. A soft smile tugs at my lips as I slowly open my eyes and look out of my window onto Velaris. The city slowly wakes up under the orange and red sunlight. With a deep sigh I turn around in my bed and nuzzle my face into Azriels chest. 

“Good Morning my love.” He smiles and kisses my head. 

“Hey Azzie” I mumble and press a soft kiss on his skin. 

“How did my angle sleep tonight?” His fingers dance around the curve of my hips. 

“Mhhh good I guess… I don’t remember much of it.”

“Really? You woke my up tonight, it seemed like you had a nightmare…” he replies softly. 

“Did I? I’m sorry.”

“No no it’s fine… it’s just …”

“Yes?”

“Forget it, you were just dreaming.” He shrugs and pats my hip. 

“No, no what is it baby? You promised not to keep any secrets.” I put. 

Azriel sighs and looks in the opposite direction.

“Who’s Xaden?” He whispers. 

“Who?” I ask and lift myself up on my elbow. 

“Xaden… you mumbled his name tonight… over and over …” His shadows swirl around his shoulders and you roll on top of him, straddling his waist. 

“Azriel I seriously have no idea who you’re talking about.” With both of my hands I grab his face and force him to look at me. “Hey … baby - you said I had a nightmare? So he probably was the monster in it.” I joke and place a small kiss on his lips. 

His hands grab my waist and he rubs small circles on my skin. 

“One more?” He pouts and I laugh while leaning down again, placing small kisses all over his face. 

“I love you.” Mumble before placing a kiss on his lips. 

“I love you more my mate.” He smiles against my lips and spins us around, “let me show you how much you meant to me, yeah?” His voice drops and his lips find my neck. 

“Yes please show me.” I moan out as his teeth gaze my skin and I feel him smirking while his shadows warp around my wrist pulling them upwards and pinning them over my head. 

“Had some special training this morning?” Cassias greets us, as we step into the dining room, the table already full with breakfast. 

“Yes real special.” Azriel winks and I roll my eyes, sitting down next to Mor and opposite of Nesta.

“At least you had more fun than I had.” Nesta groans and stretches out her sore muscles. 

“I missed you tho, it feels like I haven’t seen you in ages.” I smile at her. 

“Invite me next time.” She winks and Azriel rolls his eyes. 

“Keep on dreaming Nesta.” He says and grabs some orange juice. 

Soft tipples run around the table and a soft “meow” echos from under the table. 

“Loooook who woke up toooo.” Mor beams and reaches down, lifting up a small black cat. 

“Noctissss where have you been? Why are you so dirty?” She runs her hands over the soft black fur, trying to get all the dust off him. Noctis meows again and stretches out his little paws in my direction. 

“Nawww do you wanna come to me? Get out of Mor’s grip?” You laugh and more hands him over. 

As soon as he’s in my arms, he starts purring and nuzzles his little head on my neck. 

Azriel smiles and reaches over me, scratching my in between his ears. 

“Such a happy little family - I’m going to throw up.” Nesta fake gags. 

“Hey Az, how are your wounds healing?” Cassian asks and looks over at Azriel. 

“They’re still not healing…” he sighs and I look over at him confused. What wounds? 

Looking at his beautiful face, I see a red tear running over his soft skin. And another… and more… blood spills out of his nose and eyes and ears. 

“Nea wake up.” He says while blood spills out of his mouth. 

I scream and shoot up, ripping the covers off. 

Sweat runs down my skin and my head shoots to the left and right, trying to orientate myself. 

This is my room. In Velaris. In the house of wind. This was all a bad dream. 

“NEA!” The door slams open and Mor storms inside. 

“Mor?” 

“Omg Nea, you’re finally awake!” She says and tears run down her face. 

“It’s the middle of the night, what do you mean finally?” I ask confused. 

“You’ve been asleep for about two weeks now.” Rhys answers calmly and walks around Mor. 

“Two weeks?” I whisper, “Why?”. 

“You don’t remember?” Rhys asks and sits down next to me on the bed. 

I close my eyes trying to concentrate on the last thing I remember, but everything’s dark. 

“No… Rhys I just know going to bed in Basgiath… and waking up here.” 

Basgiath… Noctis!

“You’re finally back little one.” His deep voice echos though my mind and immediately I start to feel more calm.

“… Do you want me to show you?” Rhys asks. 

“Yes please.” I whisper and a second later I feel him knocking on my mind. 

Nea‘s POV

Warm rays of sunlight, warm my face and wake me up. A soft smile tugs at my lips as I slowly open my eyes and look out of my window onto Velaris. The city slowly wakes up under the orange and red sunlight. With a deep sigh I turn around in my bed and nuzzle my face into Azriels chest. 

“Good Morning my love.” He smiles and kisses my head. 

“Hey Azzie” I mumble and press a soft kiss on his skin. 

“How did my angle sleep tonight?” His fingers dance around the curve of my hips. 

“Mhhh good I guess… I don’t remember much of it.”

“Really? You woke my up tonight, it seemed like you had a nightmare…” he replies softly. 

“Did I? I’m sorry.”

“No no it’s fine… it’s just …”

“Yes?”

“Forget it, you were just dreaming.” He shrugs and pats my hip. 

“No, no what is it baby? You promised not to keep any secrets.” I put. 

Azriel sighs and looks in the opposite direction.

“Who’s Xaden?” He whispers. 

“Who?” I ask and lift myself up on my elbow. 

“Xaden… you mumbled his name tonight… over and over …” His shadows swirl around his shoulders and you roll on top of him, straddling his waist. 

“Azriel I seriously have no idea who you’re talking about.” With both of my hands I grab his face and force him to look at me. “Hey … baby - you said I had a nightmare? So he probably was the monster in it.” I joke and place a small kiss on his lips. 

His hands grab my waist and he rubs small circles on my skin. 

“One more?” He pouts and I laugh while leaning down again, placing small kisses all over his face. 

“I love you.” Mumble before placing a kiss on his lips. 

“I love you more my mate.” He smiles against my lips and spins us around, “let me show you how much you meant to me, yeah?” His voice drops and his lips find my neck. 

“Yes please show me.” I moan out as his teeth gaze my skin and I feel him smirking while his shadows warp around my wrist pulling them upwards and pinning them over my head. 

“Had some special training this morning?” Cassias greets us, as we step into the dining room, the table already full with breakfast. 

“Yes real special.” Azriel winks and I roll my eyes, sitting down next to Mor and opposite of Nesta.

“At least you had more fun than I had.” Nesta groans and stretches out her sore muscles. 

“I missed you tho, it feels like I haven’t seen you in ages.” I smile at her. 

“Invite me next time.” She winks and Azriel rolls his eyes. 

“Keep on dreaming Nesta.” He says and grabs some orange juice. 

Soft tipples run around the table and a soft “meow” echos from under the table. 

“Loooook who woke up toooo.” Mor beams and reaches down, lifting up a small black cat. 

“Noctissss where have you been? Why are you so dirty?” She runs her hands over the soft black fur, trying to get all the dust off him. Noctis meows again and stretches out his little paws in my direction. 

“Nawww do you wanna come to me? Get out of Mor’s grip?” You laugh and more hands him over. 

As soon as he’s in my arms, he starts purring and nuzzles his little head on my neck. 

Azriel smiles and reaches over me, scratching my in between his ears. 

“Such a happy little family - I’m going to throw up.” Nesta fake gags. 

“Hey Az, how are your wounds healing?” Cassian asks and looks over at Azriel. 

“They’re still not healing…” he sighs and I look over at him confused. What wounds? 

Looking at his beautiful face, I see a red tear running over his soft skin. And another… and more… blood spills out of his nose and eyes and ears. 

“Nea wake up.” He says while blood spills out of his mouth. 

I scream and shoot up, ripping the covers off. 

Sweat runs down my skin and my head shoots to the left and right, trying to orientate myself. 

This is my room. In Velaris. In the house of wind. This was all a bad dream. 

“NEA!” The door slams open and Mor storms inside. 

“Mor?” 

“Omg Nea, you’re finally awake!” She says and tears run down her face. 

“It’s the middle of the night, what do you mean finally?” I ask confused. 

“You’ve been asleep for about two weeks now.” Rhys answers calmly and walks around Mor. 

“Two weeks?” I whisper, “Why?”. 

“You don’t remember?” Rhys asks and sits down next to me on the bed. 

I close my eyes trying to concentrate on the last thing I remember, but everything’s dark. 

“No… Rhys I just know going to bed in Basgiath… and waking up here.” 

Basgiath… Noctis!

“You’re finally back little one.” His deep voice echos though my mind and immediately I start to feel more calm.

“… Do you want me to show you?” Rhys asks. 

“Yes please.” I whisper and a second later I feel him knocking on my mind. 

[abra-ka-dammit]

So far the cat I am tentatively calling Bliss Delight in honor of mbmbam and the feelings i get when it see its lil face:

1- is vewy lovey dovey,,,,,, purrs easily and slow blinks at me already

2- wants ALL the good scritches all over its head and shoulders, and will allow back-to-tail pets too but may move around and use its paw to put ur hand back up to the face scritches

3- is not fond of zeppelin when the door is open (gate between em), growls in a way that sounds exactly like my stomach but besides hunkering down and swishy tail, didnt seem overly aggravated (may just be reacting to zeppelin's aggressive growling and hissing)

3a- ...but cares not about zeppelin meowing on the other side of a closed door tho

4- does NOT like being touched on its sides. gave me a good warning swat and hiss. mildly worried about that only because if its not just How This Cat Is it could potentially indicate pain

5- has a nearly 1/2 broken top left canine, dirty ears, chin acne, potentially scars around its mouth.

6- is not declawed, at least

Gonna see if any vets around here are open weekends but I have a feeling nobody's gonna get me in even to check for a chip (and FIV/bugs if the result is no) until after the new year :T hopefully not tho i dont think lil buddy wants to stay in my like 12'x3' bathroom super long. was already eyeing and investigating the top of the gate when i had the door open >>

[bunnyboy-juice]

cupcake, warm milk, pillow, pastel, soft fur, meow !!

Cupcake - Do you have a comfort food? If so, what is it?

OH YEAH- my comfort food is quite literally kung pao chicken (no green peppers, add broccoli) from the Chinese food place down the street from us. they literally know my wife (tho they think she's me bc i always order) bc i am spoiled (read: they are VERY affordable) and xe will pick it up for me basically whenever im having a bad day and we have takeout money available and it never fails to make me 300% happier until i finish the leftovers

Warm milk - What is something that makes you feel comfortable?

my headphones c: they are over the ear and noise cancelling, i wear them 90% of the time i am not at home, and in general if im having discomfort but idk why I'm usually reaching for those first

Pillow - What are five (or more) things that make you happy?

non-living things/experiences only for this (bc if not my wife, cats, and closest friends take up slots 1-8 easy): the leather cock ring my wife tried buying that fits my wrist better (its really fun to clicky clicky and also is a cute bracelet and also makes me blush knowing what it was supposed to be for), seeing children expressing themselves through their clothing in public (UGH 🥰💞), seeing people with their friends/lovers and being able to tell from the laughter/loving touch that they're in their own little world together, movie nights at home (or at least somewhere i feel safe to unmask), CHICKEN SPAGHETTI THE WAY MY AMMA (mom) MADE IT, basically Any food but esp soup from my mami (grandmother), ummmmmm g-d this list could go for a really long time tbh so I'm gonna cap it but tbh a lot of things make me happy also, its not a very hard feeling to make happen for me

Pastel - What is your favorite color?

😭 g-d okay i had to use a color picker bc i wanted to give a very accurate representation of the orangey yellows and purpley pinks i like so oranges/yellows: dd9220 ffbe67 f2b40b pinks/purples: cfb5d2 ff4fd3 a8548f

Soft fur - How are you feeling right now?

honestly could be better, this morning was weird and now im itchy bc my skin is dry from the cold but im also leaving work rn so my mood will Definitely increase for sure in the next hour once im home

Meow - Share a random fact about yourself, please

ohhhh ummmm let see.....OH I have photos of my uterus in a folder somewhere because when i was 17 i had to have emergency surgery bc of a ruptured cyst and even though all i remember is Immense pain, i was apparently sobbing begging them to take pictures of my insides while they were trying to put me under for the surgery. i did this AGAIN when i was 18 and had to have my appendix removed (again, emergent surgery), and they did give me the photos but i lost those when moving

[cat-buried-in-tall-grass]

ALRIGHT. SPILL EVERYTHING SILVER. I NEED TO KNOWWWWW (and if he has a masterpost that i just. failed to see. link me that right meow)

what agent number is he !! what does he look like !! does he have proper kitty features (other than his REALLY swag claws) !! how tall is he !! is he a radiant ? (if so what are his abilities !!!) whats his overall ~vibe~

omg..... i think he wld get along with pua SO WELL. HE AND NEON AND PUA THE ULTIMATE TRIO !!!! i wonder if he wld get along with shizuka and poeiva too 👀👀 (shizuka being grimshaw's assistant/apprentice and poeiva being chamber's partner and buddies with fade)

i think this may be one of the first times our ocs have directly interacted SO I AM SOOOOO STOKED AND I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABT HIM SO THEY CAN BE FRIENDSSSSS (sorry for all the questions 😭😭)

ASNLKDJFCB OKAY,,,,,,,, no masterpost yet cause i'm Shy:tm: and not everything is fully set in stone yet

agent number is 31, which in numerology is asociated with originality and practicality. it can still change tho i'm. unsure. appearance wise he uh. i'm putting this utc don't wanna make it too long on the dash

his ears are PUNCHED w metal, both of em. his eyes are (nowadays) yellowish orange, and glow proper orange when using his abilities. color pallete is sth along these lines, and the most distinctive aspect of his outfit beyond his big fuckoff metal claws is that he wears a (somewhat cropped) hoodie that's oversized and a lil puffed up to cover up the wiring and metal strapped to him underneath it, which he uses to charge up his claws.

he doesn't have kitty features i'm afraid but he DOES have a kitty ears hoodie. it's his warmest, comfiest hoodie. his bestest hoodie. at heart he's a lynx. he's 179cm/5'8'' tall, and he IS a radiant, through prolonged exposure to radianite. radiation. lol. bit more lore of that can be found on this unfinished lore fic omg don't look at me.

his ability is metallokinesis, he controls all kinds of metal, but it's not exactly metalbending.

the "emp thing" is what's for now his ult. he digs his claws into one of his bombs while they're charged with electricity and throws it ahead to clear an area of traps and stuff. DON'T ASK ABT ANYTHING ELSE THO I NEED TO STUDY A LIL MORE TO MAKE THAT,,,,,,,

PERSONALITY. silver's like a cat in the sense that if he likes you he's really chill and nice and charismatic. and if he dislikes you he's probably two shitty comments away from slashing your throat. BIG hatred for corpos and authority thanks to his bg, really big on Justice and Retribuition, but it's skewed by his own personal experiences and attachments. the line between justice and revenge gets blurred. but when he's chill he's SO chill. literally a buddy. loves metalworking and general crafts, he made his claws and bombs out of literal scrap. big fan of card and tabletop games. has a soft spot for kids. loves himself someone who can match his vibe.

he's adopting shizuka as a SISTER tyvm, you got my back and i got yours kinda deal, a lil bickering but if anything happens to her he's jumping out and biting. poeiva. well. anyone who associates w chamber closely is on The Shitlist i'm afraid. buddies w fade tho? that means straight up "hm" territory

god that's a lot of stuff BUT HE'S SOOOOOO WILLING TO BE BUDDIES,,,,,,, I WANT THEM TO BE FRIENDS 🥺 LET THEM INTERACT....... HOLDING HIM UP TO YOU. HE'S J A SILLY LIL GUY WHO WANTS TO DO ARTS AND CRAFTS.

[moldsporr]

Finished act 4!!!!

Act 1 reaction here

Act 2 reaction here

Act 3 reaction here

Intermission reaction here

Act 4 reaction:

“Next image” or “end game” What. What we just started ???

Ohhh I like this music tho

YAY JOHN AND HIS SWAGGY CLOTHES!!!!

This looks like an rpg lol

HI??? FROG??? SALAMANDER???? Whatever you are you're adorable

Hi adhd amphibian

These guys are great I love then

Ohhh they're salamanders

This section would be a lot more fun if I could. Play Homestuck. Curse my computer for not allowing me to read homestuck

This section is also taking a very long time to load. It is pictures you're fine phone

YAY BACK TO FUN STUFF!!! HI RENEGADE

DONT KILL WV DONT KILL WV

Did he lift thr pumpkin off wv's head. Gay

HELP don't kill him he's turned gay it's okay

Yay hi Jade!!!!

???? There IS a pumpkin there what the fuck

FUCK YEAH GLASSES PESTERING!!! LIKE HAL!!! BUT SQUARE!!!!!

Love the difference between John and Dave's reactions to Jade's dog

hi karkat!!!!!! You're being so mean… be nice to john or I'm Gonna bite you

Man I can like. Feel John's frustration karkat you're being so annoying I'm gonna bite you

Dave schizo arc … no I know he's being silly about the psychosis thing

Slur count: 9

“I love him” Dave why are you so random. Good for you though beeeee who you aaaaaare for your priiiiiide

ROSE IS IN PAN LAND!!!! They're putting chemicals in the water to turn the Rose's pan

Okay so we're going through the game thing again

???? Dave why do you want john to drink your piss,

YAYAYAYAYA THE SPRITE !!!! YOI WILL BE SO ANGSTY LATER

Well that's one way to wake Jade up

I think WV, PM, and AR could be a poly

GO JOHN WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK

Hello?????

GRANDPA???????????

JOHN NO BAD CHOICE

Oh :( Rose's mom left…

Egg

Slur count: 10

Okay which troll is this. Don't be rude about Rose's mom!!!! Bad troll

Best hatefriends forever <33 who are you

“Shit the bed” KARKAT TALKS LIKE ME!!!!

I understand why i was told i am karkat-coded

Slur count: 11

Laughing at a blind girl? Not cool egbert

OHH it's that one. The. Vriskas girlfriend!!!!

Guy with cat ears <4333

Hello???

Awooga

Oh. Oh that map is. Not great

GO ROSE GO ROSE !!!!

Yo that shot looks sickkkk…

Yo rose is metal af

“TG: i command her alright i am like the pimpmaster hustledaddy of all snippy bookshrews” Dave what

Okay my font changed here. Easier to read tbh. Idk if it'll translate to tumblr but oh well

Omg… yuri?????

Help why do trolls sound so gay

Oh green troll is pretty… what's her name….

Honktraband

I KNOW THIS ONE!!! Great rap Tavros

Whatever video they linked to for “I got a present for you casey” is unavailable… rip

Trolls watch movies with modern manga titles. Will keep in mind

Terezi is so right. John is a stupidly adorable little guy

OMG PM IS A QUEEN!!! SLAY

Meow

Awww… jaspersprite kinda types like my buddy. Meow meow

John's blasting off again

Did I miss something. When did Dave get a suit. When did Cal get added to the sprite. Wha

Yo what. John and Jade died??? Terezi noooo why did you ruin their session…

Slur count: 12

FUCK YEAH DAVESPRITE!!!! THERES THE GUY!!!!! I LOVE YOU DAVESPRITE

That didn't happen the way I thought it would. I think it's sweet that Dave chose to become a sprite to protect his friends. If they don't treat him nicely I'm killing all of them

But dang… doomed timeline…

OH MY GOD CAPRAIN PLANET

Dave and Davesprite are so chill. Love them

AWWW. John remembered Dave's note….

Ohhh sick… jack is a queen(?) Now!!!! The guardian people are fighting!!! Yayyyyyy

Oh thank God Hussie will explain what's been going on

CAL IS REAL!!!!!

My reaction to Hussies's joke ._. That was. Lame

Aww. Terezi just wants to be his friend :> this better not be a trick my baby boy is so gullible

ROSE'S PLACE!!!

Dr Meowgon Spengler

John :( he's real Dave. John don't be ungrateful… honestly it's fair of Davesprite to be mad. Like John died in his timeline. He went back and chose to help the other Dave and all his friends and. Ourghh. Be nice to him

Yooo cal gets a cute little outfit !!! He's zipping around <333

HELP HE PASSED OUT

Awwww… more bunnies!!!

IS THIS SOLLUX. I've heard of this one. Eridan lover

They are jamming!!

CAL NO

Maplehoof Maplehoof

JADES GRANDPA!!!

Haha get pranked

I love the differences in how Rose and John name things

John you're So stupid why would you just stand on it

FUCK YEAH CAL IS HERE

Fuck yeah ride the pony

AR so swaggy

Okay so. I swear. These guys are the midnight crew. That is literally Deuce. I'm not crazy right. They look the same. Maybe this is their sleepy selves… godtier… do they get godtier. Hmm

FUCK YEAH JADE

NO NOT GRANDPA FUCK WAIT

Idk what just happened in that animation but yay WV

Needlewands!!!!

Omg that's such a cute outfit for Rose I love it

Welcome to the party motherfuckers

Okay I'm really excited to see what Jade’s sprite is

I don't remember Dave getting thay suit. Did he steal it from future Dave. I mean future Dave doesn't really need clothes anymore but…

Oh okay yeah it's future Dave's. but cool!! Not a bad suit at all

Beautiful sword actually

Dave you're scaring the hoes

Dave looks like the autism creature in that selfie he took

Meowmeowmeowmeowmeow

Wizard fanfic!!!!

Dave is so real here. Rose and her mom could've talked :(

DAVE THERES A GUY IN UR HOUSE

Uhhhh. Dave ded :( that's not good. Present Dave you gotta fix this

Man what if that Dave was still alive

BETTY CROCKER

Nanna!!!!

I'm gonna bet 10$ that the goo John's getting is gonna be the alpha kids

FUCK YEAH I KNEW IT!!!!

Oh there are more beta kids as well okay

They are holding hands !

karkar you can't say that. Wait that's not his name. Whatever. Karkat bad!!! Unless you're like me as I am like you. Schizophrenic I mean.

Awww.. Lil dirk loves Lil cal… that's so sweet

Babysitter au!!! John be careful with all these babies

These babies are uglJAKE PUT THE GUNS DOWN!!!!

Karkat never say daddy again thank you

J???? JAKE??? YOU KILLED HER GRANDPA

Harley… like Jade Harley…

Jack Noir…

That was the best ending of an act. Oh my fucking god. I am crying

[hearts401]

1. have to address this cause i saw you said you ship venti with dorian i LOVE that. what the hell is their dynamic tho LMAO cause venti silly as hell (affectionate)

2. KITSUNE SUCROSE SAVE ME i literally. okay its a Super Basic Theory that shes literally just. an anemo kitsune. points at yae. drawn back ears, no tail (most of the time), catalyst user, and we are NEVER TOLD what sucrose actually is, all were really told is that she is not a cat like diona. (if i remember correctly, but my point is i dont think we ever get an actual answer). she lives in mondstadt cause it feels homey cause its the land of wind!!!! and she made friends there!!!! i would die for sucrose okay…. (i also made a joke theory thath has zero evidence that each region has their own elemental kitsune lol but that was sooo long ago idr who i even assigned lol)

3. okay one of my little aus was of course. okay. i should clarify. Dont Like Draff. dont like margaret either shes taking advantage of diona it drives me mad. get that kitten outta there. anyways in one of my aus diona runs away and stows away on a ship to inazuma and gets picked up by yae who likes her spirit and diona gets a good mom and lives in inazuma i literally didnt think farther than that LMAO

oh and also diona finding whoppy in one au and they become buddies 🫶 little mimic kitty flower. catmint. they r best friends.

(anyways fuck draff and margaret dont like em dont like the way they treat diona idk why half the fandom thinks margaret is like a mom to her if margaret cared she wouldnt let a TWELVE YEAR OLD serve ALCOHOL to CREEPY PERVS WHO ASK HER TO MEOW AND TRY TO TOUCH HER EARS AND TAIL i will fight margaret in the cats tail back alley come fucking get me woman)

-cross

VENDORIAN OKAY OKAY SO BASICALLY YKNOW THAT LINE VENTI HAS WHERE THEY SAY "what is freedom if demanded of you by a god?" YEAH SO LIKE. THAT. AND DORIAN WHOS CONVINCED HIS ONLY POSSIBLE WAY OF LIVING IS TO KILL AND REPLACE THE "BETTER" ONE (albedo) SO HES NOT FREE AND LIKE EVEN IF HE SUCCEEDED HE WOULDNT BE FREE HED BE FORCED TO PRETEND TO BE ALBEDO WHICH HES NOT VERY GOOD AT TBH... VENTI SHOWING HIM ITS OKAY TO BE HIS OWN PERSON... Venti being silly and playing their lyre and convincing dorian to chill out while dorian tails them places and reluctantly puts up with their shit and venti opens up about themself and dorian tells them about his own life. durin and dvalin paralleling dorian and venti. just them getting closure together and at first dorian is super reluctant but he warms up to it and venti gives him dragon therapy and he plays music with venti (friendly reminder ventis lyre is what stopped durins rampage.... imagine it had a calming effect on dorian)

I LOOOVE THAT... (i wonder who the kitsune could be for liyue and fontaine) her being a silly kitsune.... omgggggg i love that

DIONA YESSS i ddont like draff much either and frankly mondstadts tendency to employ children (bennett, fischl, klee, diona) is a little odd but. yknow. i like that a lot

WHOPPY AND DIONA..... Thats so funny bc i made a list of mond characters and how dorian felt abt them and she was in his hate section LMAO he has beef w his sons best friand,,,

[irlcats-bracket]

Bracket 5 THIRD PLACE BATTLE

Handsome Stinkerbutt-Jones Boy vs Blackie

check their descriptions and propaganda below!

HANDSOME STINKERBUTT-JONES BOY

BLACKIE

This is Blackie, submitter's little one-eyed wonder. He lost his eye to glaucoma quite a few years ago, but he's doing a lot better now, and still likes to play with his sister, Artemis. His name is Blackie because that's what the shelter named him and submitter's family couldn't agree on a new name for him so it stuck, but submitter themselves call him 'Big Boi' because of just how massive he is. He was once very timid, but with time and love and patience he is now a certified lap cat who will come right up to strangers to demand pets. He has a wonderful squeaky meow and when he purrs it sounds like two cats purring at once. He likes to have people watch him eat and he will guide submitter's mom over to the couch and make her lay down just so he can sleep in her lap. Also, when he lays on his back, he covers his belly with his tail. Pictured is him in his signature polite boi sitting pose

CATPAGANDA

BLACKIE

So glad to see Blackie still in the competition! His response so far has been "aow."

Truth be told, I'm running out of propaganda. If he make it to the next round, I'm gonna try my darnedest to capture his meows on video, which I haven't been able to do before because he sees me coming with the camera and starts purring XD

For now, more assorted Blackie facts!

Very rarely, when he gets the zoomies, he'll laugh. Like "huhuhuheueheHUEHEUE" kinda laugh.

I like to let him sniff human food/whatever I'm holding just to make sure he feels included (still doesn't like anything but pizza crumbs). But he has gagged on pickled ginger, banana, and CBD rub. He always gets really embarrassed when he gags tho

Ever since I got a job, he has been following me to bed and jumping on my chest to get the pets that he now lacks during the day.

If he sees you getting out the cat brush, he''ll lead you over to where he wants to be brushed.

On that note, when I had hurt my leg one time, Blackie saw that I wasn't leaning down to pet him and instead lead me over to the couch to have me sit down to pet him. He kept that up for a couple months once he saw how relieved it made me.

More Blackie propoganda! This time I bring you big boi in motion

link

Assorted Blackie facts:

A brave man when it comes to thunderstorms. But the vacuum? His mortal enemy.

The friendliest cat at the shelter. But the staff forced me to pick him up and hold him to get a picture and he got terrified and peed on me.

We think, based on how he acts, that he may have grown up in a home with dogs. But the mark on his ear is one done by our local neuter and release program, so we don't know if he was a stray, an outside cat, etc. But he's one of the friendliest cats I've ever met.

Will go up to his sister and put his head down to get it licked. But as soon as she goes to lick him and flattens his ears and raises a paw like he's gonna hit her. Sometimes they fight and sometimes they just walk away. We don't think he's trying to trick her because he acts genuinely confused throughout this process.

Sometimes he uses his back paw to scratch the back of his front leg when he's sitting down and it's so cute <3

These are old photos from when I used to hold a camera down and snap a photo when they leaned in to sniff the lens.

Blackie is our older cat and is such a gentleman. He is eager to love, he does the quickest slow blinks I've ever seen from a cat. He has a two-layered purr, it literally sounds like a cat purring as popcorn is being made in the background. He lost his eye to glaucoma when he was younger but he runs around and plays and teases his sister Artemis like a kitten. And his eyebrow whiskers grew down over his missing eye! He's not a big fan of people food but he has a fondness for pizza crumbs (NOT the crust. Just the crumbs off the plate when you're done eating the pizza). He walks like he's gingerly stepping through flowers and he's so gentle that the one time I overstimulated him and he wanted to bite me, he just shoved his closed mouth against my hand. He has a super long tongue and if you scratch the right spot between his shoulder blades he will lick the air. He's my precious boy who started out so scared but he's so brave and social and happy now just typing this out makes me wanna cry and go give him scritchies.

HANDSOME

HE WAS AN OUTSIDE TRASH CAT AND NOW HES AN INDOOR TRASH CAT THAT LOVES HIS PARENTS SO MUCH!!! Hes so sweet and lovey but a bastard. he also likes to bite lick toes.

Want even more? Handsome has an additional catpaganda post!