#i will not give in to bleakness!!!!! lots of good things! however!

[b-blushes]

pls wish me luck today, i've gotta try to figure out how on earth i'm gonna source my heart medication which is part of the current meds shortage and uh. not ideal. for me personally running out wouldn't be life-threatening, but it would suck! I've got some options for trying to sort it out so i'm hopeful but god. hate that for us you know!

[sweetiecutie]

Pairing: dark! König x fem! Reader

Warnings: yandere behavior, obsession, stalking, gaslighting, drugging, kidnapping. This is only fiction! Never tolerate creepy behavior

A/n: so this has been sitting in my drafts for a while so I decided to finish it as a part of writing event. I’m so proud of this one, like omg, look at me being a writer😆

Your head hurt. That was the first thing you registered as you started to slowly regain consciousness. Your face scrunched up in a grimace of pain as you let out a soft groan, your throat sore, only increasing your discomfort.

You tried to raise your hands to rub on your eyes in attempt to soothe the stinginess - point word - tried. You very soon found that your movements had been restricted by something that felt very much like rope. And not only your hands - your legs were bound tightly together at your knees and ankles, not allowing you to move.

- You’re awake now? - soft voice droned on, making you tense up impossibly more. The most terrifying thing was that you knew exactly who this voice belonged to.

You squinted into direction from which the sound came, your vision still blurry and hazy from the drug. Thankfully, the room was dark, small lamp on the bedside table was the only source of soft yellow light. You could only perceive a bulky figure sitting on a chair not too far from you, piercing blue eyes gazed at you unblinking.

- König..? What’s going on? - you asked, your voice was hoarse and weak from long lack of usage.

Suddenly, memories flashed before your eyes; it was late evening - about 11 pm - as you were walking towards convenience store not so far from your apartment.

You had been in a state of constant desolation lately - days were bleak and boring, blurring into one with their unchanging routine, sending you in deeper state of depression.

Breakup with your boyfriend took a toll on you. You loved König, you really did. Considered spending your life with him, even. But the longer your relationship lasted, the more of real him you saw - controlling, obsessive, manipulative.

It all started out small - constant checking in, questions about your whereabouts and your company, him following accompanying you wherever possible. Surely, it restricted your freedom, but König didn’t mean anything bad! He was just worried for you, concerned about your safety! Is that so bad?

So you let it slip. You overlooked his more controlling tendencies, agreed to giving him passwords to all your social media even, so König could make sure that “no freaks were texting you”. It unnerved you, but he didn’t mean anything bad, did he? He was just being a good caring boyfriend!

And it was like an avalanche. Constant calls and messages, controlling what you were wearing, unwillingness to leave you alone even for a few minutes - that and many other things made a list of what your boyfriend did, only adding to your anxiety. But you tolerated it all, because you loved him. Once, digging through your phone you found something that looked very much like a tracking app. You were outraged. But when you asked König about it - rather aggressively - he just blinked at you with wide innocent blue eyes, saying that maybe you installed it on accident? You know all these bots nowadays, you can never be safe online now. But you know that he would never do something like that, right? How could you even think of something like that?! König was genuinely offended, and you naturally hastened to apologize for your unwise accusations, trying to make it up to him. Deleting this app seemed to be impossible, though, no matter how many times you tried.

Last drop was, however, when König nearly blew out your best friend’s front door, threatening them to keep away from you. “This bitch is putting some fucked up ideas about me into your head” - was his reasoning. And that was it - hell was set free. You had an ugly shouting marathon for hours to no end, with lots of tears and profanities, ending up with a harsh breakup and you blocking König everywhere, cutting him off completely.

And since then you haven’t spoken a word to him. Of course, he came to your apartment countless times, sent numerous gifts and bouquets of your favorite flowers, practically begging for forgiveness. But you knew better than that - it happened before, and even if you forgave him this time, in a few months time everything would be just as it was before.

At present, you were walking down a sidewalk, asphalt damp under your shoes from recent rain. You needed to get some groceries, since your fridge was just as empty as your stomach; and this late of an hour promised as little people around as possible, saving you from unfavorable company of men.

Just as you rounded a corner - a pair of huge strong arms - obviously male - seized your sensibly smaller body; a weird-smelling cloth was pressed tightly over your mouth and nose. In your panicked state you tried to fight back, not registering your own breathing, inhaling lungfuls of drug. Darkness filled your vision rapidly as dizziness overcame all your senses. You felt consciousness quickly slipping away from you, neon lights of convenience store shone brightly before your eyes still.

Panic seized your throat and it was becoming harder to breathe - you tugged and pulled on rough ropes around your limbs, trying to either snap them or slip out of tight confines, thrashing around the mattress relentlessly. König didn’t do anything, just watched you silently with his icy orbs from his spot, not exactly amused nor impressed by your behavior. Very soon fatigue took over your already exhausted body, you lay motionless once again, panting heavily as you glared at König’s dark form, vision still unfocused from the drug.

- Drop that. I made sure knots are tight, - he said coldly, continuing to observe you with a sharp stare of a hawk.

You just glared silently, trying to catch your breath. Your body felt heavy - extremely so, as if every limb was made out of lead and not flesh and bone; moving as much as one finger seemed harder than anything and you wondered how you managed to thrash around in the first place. Your head was aching irritably, not allowing you to think clearly - it had to be the side effect of whatever that was König made you inhale previously.

- König, do you realize what you did? - you managed to choke out, panic crashing over you in waves as realization of your current situation finally hit you. Hot tears streamed down your face as you tried to breathe evenly, but it did little to calm you down.

König just leaned in, cupping the side of your face with one of his huge hands, his thumb swiped under your eye, wiping salty tears away with calloused fingertip. You closed your eyes, averting your face from his touch. And oh, he didn’t like it.

König gripped bottom part of your face, force of his grip squeezed your cheeks together as he turned your head forcibly towards himself, making you squeal quietly as you faced him.

- You tried to leave me. And you are very dear to me. I can’t let this happen, - König explained, his voice calm, alarmingly calm. His scarred lips were pressed into a thin pale line, giving a little clue of his rage.

It was another side of him, completely different from what you used to see - a calm, ruthless and collected one; one that you could only imagine, based off some rumors you’ve heard about him and small cracks in his friendly mask König was too careless to hide from you during your relationship. You got glimpses of it a few times - when some drunk dude tried to hit on you when you and König were in the bar together, or when you mentioned how nice one of your male coworkers was. You always made one brutal mistake of brushing it all off, blaming it on König’s tiredness or fierce personality. And that’s where it led you.

- So what are you gonna do now? Keep me here forever? - you tried to scoff, but your trembling voice was way too weak to do so.

König cocked his eyebrow at your brave words, ghost of a smile played on his pursed lips. He shrugged lightly, grip of his fingers on your cheeks eased as he caressed them endearingly with rough fingertips, tickling you slightly.

- If that’s what it takes to keep you with me - then yes, - he shrugged slightly, propping his chin on his free hand, not a single emotion could be deciphered in his voice. These words made your blood turn cold.

He heaved a deep sigh at your frightened expression and trembling body, letting go of your face and reclining into his chair.

- Schatzi, you know I hate this just as much as you do. You think I’m enjoying this? - he asked, his tone was somehow sad and exhausted. But yes, you indeed thought, knew he enjoyed this. You kept silent, choking on your silent sobs, now being extremely aware of thick ropes digging painfully into your soft skin. Panic attack was full on taking over you, suffocating you with numerous sobs, body tensing and shaking incessantly, tears blurring your thus poor vision.

- Now, this all may end if you stop being a little bitch and start acting like an actual adult. We didn’t finish our conversation that last time, and you blocking me everywhere doesn’t make things any easier, - König said, his ice-blue eyes boring holes in your head. But you couldn’t comprehend the meaning behind his words, your brain short-circuited with fear and panic, turning you into a weeping shaking mess.

König heaved another sigh. He got up from his chair, taking a few steps towards your bed and dropping to his knees in front of it, so that his head was right against yours. His hand once again came to caress the side of your face affectionately, tangling into your messy hair and massaging your scalp, cooing soothingly at you.

- I know baby, I know. You need to rest. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe. And then, once you’re strong and rested, we’ll talk again. And we’ll sort everything out and be happy again, just like we used to be, hmm? - König murmured softly as he always did to calm you down during hard times. But it only made you weep harder.

König pressed his lips against your cold forehead, leaving a chaste kiss as he inhaled lungfuls of your scent. He then nuzzled his forehead against yours, mumbling quietly:

- You can’t imagine how much I missed you. How could you do this to me? Hurt me so much even though I only want the best for you?

He peppered your face with small kisses, whispering small nothings and caressing your shuddering back. This made you feel nauseous. Your consciousness started to slip away again, your vision darkening rapidly. And just before blacking out, you heard König’s voice, one you loved so dearly once, utter:

- You’re mine, always will be. I’ll make sure of that.

Likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! Give writers some love, we live off feedback<3

[soaringwide]

Pick a Card: How to attract love in your life? ❤️

Pile 1 > Pile 2 > Pile 3

Hey :p Welcome back to a new pick a pile love reading.

Today we're going to have a look at How can you attract love into your life. I'm going to look at where you're currently at, the things that work and the things that don't, practical steps you can take, and finally, the most probable outcome for the near future.*

*keep in mind that it's very hard with tarot to give a precise timeframe, which is why i say ''near future'', which might mean different things for different people. Also, the future is highly volatile and this might only be accurate for your present situation, and may be prone to shift if you make significant changes. As always, you are in control of your life so don't let a reading dictate what you should and should not do.

This is a general reading meant for multiple people so it might not resonates perfectly to your situation. Take what resonates and leave out the rest.

Ko-fi ★ book a reading ★ pinned post ★ instagram

PILE 1

Cards: 5 of Pentacles, the Sun, 5 of Cups, 9 of Cups, Strength, King of Cups, Ace of Cups, Page of Swords Reversed, the High Priestess, Ace of Swords, 8 of Cups, King of Pentacles, the Star, 5 of Wands, 4 of Cups, the Devil

You are currently trapped into a mindset of lack and feeling like you don't belong. You feel like there's something broken with you that stops you from getting the love that you long for. You believe that the warmth of love is being denied from you by outside circumstances and that you are unable to change that. Not the best place to be mentally and I highly empathize, I know how it feels…

What is blocking you is that you are spending a lot of mental and emotional energy feeling devastated for what you don't have. You may have known love in the past and you're idealizing that and feeling regrets over what you've lost. For some of you it might literally be because you wish you had this love back, but for others it could just be wishing for that sweet feeling again. It's also possible that, regardless of a past relationship or not, you are longing for a time in your past where things seemed more carefree and that you now feel somewhat broken. Feeling like things were so much more radiant and optimistic back then. I'm also getting that love might feel like the last thing in your life you need to feel fully accomplished and you're hyper focusing on that one thing, not seeing all the other good things going for you. There is this idea that you're waiting and waiting for the perfect occasion to show up while carrying these heavy feelings.

However, things are not fully bleak for you. You are extremely resilient and have spent a lot of time perfecting yourself. Despite your feelings of romantic lack, you keep working on yourself, be it your career, your passions and projects, or your own self. You keep things moving thinking that if love doesn't come, then at least you can make other areas of your life good. You're also able to set aside these heavy feelings in order to remain balanced. Like, you feel them, you're aware of them, but you don't let that submerge you and you keep living anyway. So you have what it takes to fix the issue, you just need to see it and start working on it.

Because the advice is that you need to release your defensiveness regarding love. I'm getting that you've learnt to be so firmly attached to this lack mentality and the failures you've experienced that it's making you shut down any possibility of romance. I'm seeing a pattern of starting to catch feelings and automatically cutting them off, distrusting them and retreating within yourself. I think this is a defense mechanism, which served its purpose for a long time but is now counterproductive. You may lack honesty with yourself and with potential partners because you fear showing your feelings, scared of getting hurt.

So it's natural that for what you need to embrace, a card of clarity and communication shows up. If you always hide how you feel to your love interest, most healthy people will not pursue you and instead back off not to bother you, since they think you are not interested. You must communicate how you feel and investigate the other person's wishes and feelings. There is also the need to be in tune with your own intuition and inner guidance, which seems to be muddied by your fears and unhealthy coping mechanisms. You must embrace tuning into yourself, where you will find the answer on what to do, because I really think you've go a strong personal guidance and you know who and what is good for you, and you can lean into and learn to trust that.

And it seems the practical steps you need to take at this present moment point at solving these issues first and foremost. You have unfinished emotional business that you need to leave behind. It's like it's cluttering your emotional life and there is no space for anything romantic to bloom. You need to make room for love in your heart by releasing these painful points we talked about earlier. The way to do that with the Star (feeling called to name the card so that you can look into it if you wish) is to embrace hope that things can indeed change for the better. Have faith that you can renew yourself and step into a new way of living. This card always reminds me of making a wish and believing it's going to come true, so have faith!

The near future cards point at you working on that. Breaking the chains that hold you down. It's a process that may look a little chaotic, and you'll go back and forth between not doing anything and pondering on what steps to take next, being indecisive, and then hastily trying out things in hope something is going to fit. I see that it's a learning process and you're going to need to find the right way to act. You are about to break those destructive patterns and make room for love to come into your life. I do not know when this is going to happen, but the work you'll be doing will make you happier and more balance so it's worth working toward for the sake of it. And all point at the fact that it's the best thing to do in your situation in order to attract love into your life.

PILE 2

Cards: 6 of Swords, 7 of Swords, King of Cups, the Lovers, the Magician, Knight of Swords, the Fool, 10 of Pentacles, King of Swords, King of Pentacles, Queen of Cups, the Hanged Man, Knight of Wands, the Sun, King of Wands, 5 of Pentacles, Knight of Pentacles, Temperance

It seems you're currently in a post breakup phase, leaving something behind and wondering what's coming next. (if that's not the case, then that's not the pile for you). There is a sense of sadness and worry, but also hope for the future even though it is very uncertain. I'm getting that it's something quite fresh which will explain the current situation.

For what is blocking you, it seems you've been rendered very distrustful of love, and may even have been either cheated on, or betrayed in some way by the person you love(d). You have a hard time processing these emotions and it's stopping you from truly moving on. It's like you became disillusioned and don't trust romance anymore. You may feel angry and revengeful, bitter, in all cases, and it's coloring your view of love. Part of you is still looking over your shoulder at what once was, whether it's with regret and nostalgia or on the contrary with bitterness.

For what is going for you, it seems that despite that you desire a new beginning, a fresh start of some kind. You want to make a new relationship happen, one that will satisfy you in all aspects and that will be in alignment with yourself. I'm also getting that you're tired of being taken for an fool, fed up with giving your heart freely to someone who will stomp on it. I also see that you're determined to approach that with very upfront communication, seeking to be clear on your needs and boundaries, and that you are done with tolerating bullshit. It's also sort of like you want to get out of your current painful situation as fast as possible by finding something new, which does show up as a good thing however I'm getting the need for nuance here as you could be rushing too much as a way to run away from your feelings or perhaps get back at your ex by showing you don't need them.

You need to release this past relationship. It shows up as something that seemed like it was heading towards long term commitment, which makes it all the more painful. However, if things turned out the way they did that's because it wasn't built on solid foundations, and may not have been a good thing for you had it not blown off anyway. I'm also getting that this past-person probably embodied pretty authoritative traits, in a pretty tyrannical way, and it's leaving you, again, distrustful of future connections (or even of the whole gender of your ex partner). I think it somewhat robbed you of your own agency, made you feel weak and powerless, and there is a need to reclaim that power (you got ALL 4 Kings).

Which is shown in the next section with what you need to embrace. The cards point at the need to pick yourself back up and work on yourself, your abundance and security, which may mean focusing on other areas of your life for a while as a way to look in a different direction. Your heart also requires some attention and it would be beneficial to practice some self care, whether that means taking care of yourself from an aesthetical point of view (beauty, fashion, etc) or from a more holistic point of view (diet, exercise, meditation, etc). Make yourself beautiful for yourself and it may help you lift yourself up and feel better about yourself. This will allow you to shift your perspective, however, it will require some time and you will need to dive into it and think about the issue. You must understand that there is nothing more you can do to fix this past situation, and that it's okay to take time to think and embrace that moment of stagnancy that will help you give yourself space to heal and move on.

The idea of finding your power and sense of agency back is again shown in the cards that talk about the practical steps you should take. I'm getting that in order to do that, you need to focus on what makes you passionate about life, what lights your fire up and makes you want to pour your energy in. There is also the need to chill a bit and do things that seem fun and unimportant. Get silly a little bit, go out and enjoy the sweetness of life. Not everything is about romantic love and not only is it okay to do other things, it's also something you deeply need at this present moment to feel better. In all cases, push yourself to create some movement in your life and don't stay locked in alone, wallowing over yourself. I'm also getting the need to focus on things that are pleasurable, for your body and yourself.

For the near future when it comes to romantic love, I unfortunately think that for some time at least, you may still be alone and struggling with that fact, thinking you've been left with nothing and having a hard time processing your loss. You may want to take some steps towards new connections, but doing so very slowly and holding back a lot, so there won't be much progress on that side for a while. The focus will be mostly on healing yourself and focusing on rebalancing your heart. Trying to find hope and faith in love again. This whole process takes time but is very important in order to help you find healthy love again.

PILE 3

Cards: 9 of Cups, Queen of Swords, 7 of Pentacles, 6 of Cups, Ace of Wands, the Chariot, 4 of Swords, 4 of Pentacles, Page of Swords, 10 of Pentacles, the High Priestess, 7 of Cups, the Emperor, 6 of Wands, Justice, Ace of Pentacles, 8 of Pentacles, the Sun

You're currently in a phase where you feel ready for love. You've established a lot of things for yourself and you're in a satisfying place in life. Not perfect, nothing ever is, but you've grown a lot recently that's for sure. And when it comes to love, that's your wish and you're currently strongly waiting for the time to finally come to see that wish come true. It's the one thing that you desire the most at the moment and see it as a potential for great happiness.

For what's blocking you, I see that you are perhaps a tad too focused on observing that wish form, growing more and more impatient, and as a result getting a but tyrannical with your mind. Like, things don't go as fast as you want them to, so you second guess yourself and lot, get anxious and frustrated with yourself. There is a form of naivety here, as if you were not the most experienced in matters of love. It could also mean it's been a while you've been in a relationship and the memories of your past love are being triggered and coming back to the surface, making it hard to deal with them.

For things going for you, you've gotten a lot of action oriented cards, showing that you are determined and driven to see your wish come true. You don't want to wait anymore and are ready to make a move once the opportunity shows up. You trust that you are on the right path and are ready for things to pick up speed. However, this might make you get a bit restless when again the right opportunity or situation doesn't show up fast enough and it's a bit exhausting for you because you put a lot of pressure on yourself.

Another interesting message is one of getting out of hibernation in some way, which is shown in your past-to be released cards as well. It seems you used to have a tendency to hold onto your feelings and intentions, never making your desires and wants known, reacting by being very defensive and guarded, and i think you've not quite released that old pattern totally yet, but it's in progress. I think you still have a tendency to put a wall between you and your love interest by fear of getting hurt and you keep your cards close to your chest because you want to make the right move at the right time and you worry acting out of sync and ruining everything. This is making you a little too controlling and calculating and not in flow enough.

So it makes sense that one of the message of things to embrace has to do with getting in touch with your more intuitive side, as opposed to your analytical side. I think you still second guess yourself a lot despite knowing when a situation has potential and all this worry is making you go back and forth a lot and is causing tension. I think you need to embrace your desire for long lasting commitment, which for some reason you might be scared to accept, as if you thought wishing for it would mean being disappointed when you don't get it. You're so fearful of being disillusioned and not seeing reality clearly that you put everything into question and confuse yourself. You need to know that it's okay to not be able to read other people's intentions, you're not meant to. Things will get clearer as they progress. Also, it's okay to daydream about the love you desire, and you should do more of that. Explore things in the safe space that is your imagination and allow yourself to imagine what you want the future to be like.

For the practical steps to take, there is a need to show up confident and strong, taking the lead instead of waiting for the other person to make a move. You know yourself and your boundaries and you can say what you desire. There is also the need to come up fair and honest, so don't hide how you feel, don't hide what you want, but honor your loved person with the respect that come with being upfront. Also, to answer your worries, go there with the confidence of someone who act as if they won, and by that I mean don't expect things to go wrong before you even know if they will but instead pretend victory will be on your side, because even if you're not sure, why automatically assume you're going to get rejected when you don't really know?

For the near future, I didn't go too in detail about your situation because I wanted to leave the message open, but I think for some of you there's already a connection in the making, and you're soon going to be handed a new piece of the puzzle that will make you see things in a new perspective and make things progress further. What it is I do not know, but the cards point at a phase of focused progress where someone or both parties are working toward a common goal. Again I can't say what that puzzle piece is, but there is a strong idea of that new way of seeing the relationship, or experiencing the relationship, that leads to a path where you'll be working toward something for this connection.

Finally, I just wanted to point out that the bottom of the deck was the Sun so it seems this is an auspicious time for you, so don't get too hung up in what doesn't work exactly the way you want and enjoy the ride!!

[shuinami]

Jess and Hobie: their defining strengths + their weaknesses

I had a thought about Hobie while I was writing, have been thinking about Jess for a while and then this post about Miguel came out and it made me kind of want to yap. I'll only talk about Hobie and Jessica here because I'm biased + Peter & Gwen have been talked about a lot + I linked a post about Miguel + Miles & Pav have simpler, more obvious flaws that basically come down to youthful naivety.

I also find it really interesting that their flaws are basically opposites, Hobie's comes from "inconsistency" whilst Jessica's comes from stubbornness. And again, both these flaws come from their greatest strengths.

TL;dr

Jess' defining strength is her resolve when it comes to fighting for what's right and tussling with destiny but it causes her to have a one-track mind, even if it comes to dedicating herself to something wrong (from being misguided).

Hobie's defining strength is his optimism (e.g. anarcho-communism) but the extreme difficulty of pursuing those ideals and the struggle against systems can bring that optimism to a breaking point, causing him to be inconsistent or, more directly, to give up.

I think people forget that Jessica's pregnancy is by design and not just a 'feature' of Jessica Drew as a character. She was deliberately chosen to be represented in this stage of her life and I think it is so important to her character, even if it's not in the traditional way that pregnancy is typically portrayed as in media.

I think her pregnancy shows the kind of person she is: most obviously, it's cold, hard evidence that she's a bamf who takes care of spidey business even while pregnant.

More importantly to me, though, there's an implication that, as her universe's one and only spidey, she has been the one to save the day and been the change she wishes to seek, effectively enough that she feels comfortable bringing a baby into the world.

Unlike someone like Peter, she does not make the choice between bringing her child to work with her or leaving them behind. She just has to do what she needs to do to make sure her kid is safe, there's no failing for her. During her pregnancy, it's always going to be a matter of life and death. Jess is well aware and, instead of shying away from action, she's just committed to not making those kinds of mistakes. To get over her losses. She's going to take charge of her own world's destiny as she has always done and she's going to make sure it's good.

Her strong allegiance to Miguel's ideas is her most glaring flaw to us as an audience because A. we're seeing things through Miles' eyes, she's standing in the way of him saving his father and B. we know that Miguel can't be right about canon events - we know they wouldn't make the movies as bleak as that.

Of course, taking a step back from our perspective, it's also a flaw because she is being antagonistic to a teenager as a grown adult. It might make her seem cold and harsh.

However, Jess was the one to vouch for Gwen, to take her in, even though Miguel didn't want her to and they could have left things up to the web of destiny. Jess trusts her own capabilities but she doesn't trust the world to be kind. She doesn't assume Gwen can handle things just because she can, either. On top of being sympathetic, I think her dedication to being the change she wishes to see is why she accepts Gwen as a student; she trusts that a young girl can make the world a better place too, it's not a thing where she wants to micromanage everything. She just wants to know the multiverse is in safe hands. That's her "great responsibility".

The only reason she is following the anti-Miles agenda is because Miles, as far as she and anybody else in-movie knows, is jeopardising the existence of every universe (insidiously via the holes). Maybe, in another position, say, a bright-eyed teen who mainly worried about high school and puppy love, she would be more willing to risk things, to see how it goes.

She's not in that position though. Her world that she felt confident she had the power to keep safe has been made uncertain. One day, it could just go poof, along with her baby, and she wouldn't be able to stop it in the moment. If she makes the right decision now, if she doesn't make a mistake, she can prevent it. It's understandable that she's going to do whatever it takes to prevent anomalies.

What was the canon event chosen to represent her?

Her version of the moment from "The Final Chapter".

It comes from a story that largely focuses on Peter's personal life before spiralling into action to make up for a mistake that has made Aunt May fatally ill. In the panel, Spider-Man is trapped under machinery with the cure - the thing that will absolve the mistake - just out of reach. As the lair is flooded, drowning is imminent.

Against all odds, though, Spider-Man pushes past what should have killed him and rises to the occasion, with the thoughts of saving Aunt May and refusing to have a repeat of Uncle Ben.

"I won't fail you. No matter what - I won't fail."

Jess has had to handle her own fate as well as her world's. Now that the multiverse is involved, it's not going to stop at her own universe. She has to stop this. She won't fail. As per the dialogue between her and Gwen in ATSV, she's made a mistake before (by getting too close to someone) but she tells Gwen "I got over it". Sounds so savage in the moment but she still gives Gwen a chance to make her own situation right before letting her get kicked off the team. Helping Gwen in spite of the anomaly would be a mistake if she couldn't handle this.

And when the Spot gets away and Miles enters the picture? The gloves come off. It's tempting fate at that point. Jess' no mistakes mindset pushes her to even prepare to roll up on a teenager.*

Her greatest strength is her resolve - I mean, hell, she doesn't let even pregnancy slow her down when it comes to saving the world - but it causes her to be stubborn and leads her down a misguided path.

*By the end of the film, she seems to be questioning Miguel's method, though. On top of the fact that BTSV is obviously going to end on a good note, I think Jess' fight against destiny is going to have her come around in the end as Miles is doing the same thing.

Onto Hobie:

I luv luv luv Hobie as much as everyone else, he's definitely my favourite but I feel he has his flaws too (which tend to make me love my faves more lol).

In fact, I think he says what they are when we first meet him, though they are veiled as jokes.

I find that the audience tends to position him as a perfect distillation of anarcho-communism at its best. I think the teen spideys see him in a similar light; they see him as effortlessly cool & charismatic, a wise mentor figure ("use your palms" + his play fighting with Pavitr featured him taking on the stance of a boxing trainer as Pavitr tried to punch his palms) but he's not like the adult adults - he's relatable, he's cool, he's anarchist, he's not always on their case like Jess and Miguel.

He neither calls himself a hero nor a role model... but he is the perfect hero and role model, right? He's the best! He's the only one who's looking out for Miles and, when Miles is getting chased down by the entire society, what does he do?

He... quits.

Wouldn't that perfect hero we all believe him to be swoop in with his cape, know exactly what to do and save Miles, the underdog? He can't have possibly known Miles would manage against the society and, if he knew it was possible, then why wouldn't he lend a hand? He didn't drop off the watch in Miles' dimension, he gave one to his bestie, Gwen, likely in the scenario that she wanted to quit or got booted because 'it [didn't] work out'.**

I think Hobie's major flaw is his lack of consistency, as he famously said himself.

He has a strong moral code - he believes in the right things for the right reasons... but communism and anarchy are pretty much impossible to properly/entirely employ in a system that is consumerist, capitalist and authoritarian. He riots, he fights, but it's never over. London isn't free. In my experience, people with strong moral compasses tend to have issues with themselves because they hold others to higher standards than most and hold themselves to even higher and impossible standards (think Diane from Bojack Horseman).

One of the first comic panels I encountered of Hobie was him getting real with Captain Anarchy about losing morale because, despite killing President Ozzy Osborne, the face of fascism in his dystopia, nothing changes. He wasn't able to save the world like a hero in a movie or like a proper role model. He 'failed'. When you give your everything and nothing changes, no matter how optimistic, clever or read-up on theory you are, it can be hard to keep going.

And what is chosen as his defining canon event?

His version of Spider-Man quitting in "Spider-Man No More". Rather than being fed up with the world antagonising him as 616 is, Hobie is done with an antagonistic world.

The Hobie/Spider-Punk that has been built up externally, as far as I understand, would never give up. He'd keep raging forever and ever because that's the cool thing to do, because it's the heroic thing to do - because it's the right thing to do.

But under the mask, he's just a teenager, imperfect as any other.

He's still a Spider-Man too. Before the bite, he was another lanky black boy in racist-af, peak National Front, send-the-blacks-and-the-Asians-back, '70s England. He's a nerd, as evidenced by his ability to build such a high-tech watch, especially as a teenager who wouldn't have had access to anything like it until joining the society, meaning he had to pick it up quick. And I'm to think he didn't have any Flash-esque characters in his life? "Come out of it."

As Spider-Man with the mask on, he yells to the rooftops; as Hobie with the mask off, he mumbles and whispers. Sure he looks cool now but people don't tend to come out of the womb as Spider-Punk. On top of that, he's still so young and surely has plenty of room to grow.

I believe he joined the society in earnest, optimistic that he could help the multiverse but eventually reached his limits with actively facilitating death and trauma, with saving the multiverse not meaning freedom in his own universe, with being shackled to the web of destiny. I'm not convinced he made the watch in one day; I think he had been planning on quitting for some time and was waiting for the right moment (as he also wanted to support Gwen because friendship is important to him). That's why he tries to dissuade Miles from joining but, when he does leave, he doesn't go out in a riot, he doesn't even leave knowing that Miles has people on his side other than him. Hobie just quits.

I think his greatest strength is his optimism (his anarcho-communism & adamance about "love, joy and freedom" as per the un-permitted performance art pieces in his montage) but he's smart and he's been through shit - he isn't naive like Pavitr or Miles - the great heights of that optimism lead to intensely low lows.

**(I don't really see why or how he would have been able to predict everything that happened in the chase. I know that the watch is set to 1610 but if Hobie believed Miles would make it out of 928 and get back to 1610, would that not be things 'working out'? Or did he predict that he would get to the go-home machine but was the only one who considered that he would be sent to the place his spider came from. Why? And why wouldn't he set the watch to 42 if he knew Miles wouldn't be in 1610? I feel like the 1610 on the interface is just there to be there and that Hobie gave Gwen the watch so she could have the freedom to leave 65 if she wanted to, in the event that she quit the society because they captured Miles or because Miguel kicked her out as Jess kept warning.)

[vacayisland]

OHHH EM GEE!! I just saw your new post about you posting romantically about Poppy and Viva!! I wanted to ask if you could possible do a Poppy request and poppy and the reader are dating! Also could the reader be fem?

i was wondering if Poppy could just be clinging on the reader or just a scrapbooking date or just somewhere where they spend time together!

I love your writing so much and i get super dupes excited when you post new things I literally scream because your writing is literally so gorge and there’s not a lot of trolls x reader content! I just wanted to let you know that I just love your writing sm :)

@!; Scrapbooking my heart Poppy / Reader

"Summary"! Spoiled party plans lead to one of the best date-afternoons for the both of you. "Tags"! Fluff!! Also no gender is mentioned for the reader! <3 So read it as fem or masc or however you'll like.

@storydays @chamille-trash @valvalentine69

@!; It all started one bleak afternoon, when the clouds covered the sun from its gleeful parade; shining down upon Troll village no longer as a dreary atmosphere had taken upon the land. And many were being persuaded by the moody weather, becoming down casted in rainy chances and the shady afternoon that was meant to be bright. Not many would like to admit that they would let their mood to be so easily swayed, that their temper could be based on the peaking sun or the threatened clouds that stole away their sunshine. Not even Queen Poppy would like to admit this fact, despite the small frown that itched onto her lips the moment the sun clouded over their field. It eerily shrouded the plans for the party they were planning in a murky and unwelcoming way. Many commented about the shuddering tension; commenting how they thought it was going to be sunny that day, that there hadn’t been a cloud in the sky earlier. Many took a moment for themselves, glancing around at their fellow trolls, before they decided it would be a good stay-in-afternoon. “Hey, hey!” But Poppy wanted, no more like needed, to get these plans done! And she couldn’t do that without her friends, “Guys come on, it’s only a little cloudy. I’m sure it’ll clear right up!” Yet her words were soon followed by a frightening shock of thunder in the background, causing her to shrink a little into herself. But she tried to keep a bright smile on and tried to bounce back; if not for herself then for her friends, who probably needed some distraction after such well-timed (or maybe awfully timed) thunder. “Psh!” Poppy dramatically tried to wave off the fear, and the sinking feeling in her stomach. “I’m sure that was just a coincidence, you’ll see! That storm will pass in no time.”

The storm didn’t pass. In fact, Poppy wasn’t sure when she had seen so much rain! Now huddled in her pod, Poppy watched the rain with a nervous tick, thoughts flooded her mind as she questioned whether or not the party will need to be pushed back. It’s not like she hasn’t pushed back a party before- no wait, that’s exactly what this was! Poppy has never had to push back a party before and she’ll be damned if she would have to push back a party this time. And due to rain, of all things!

Rain, which has never stopped a Pop Trolls party before! Mostly because it never really rained in Pop village, due to their location and what not. They rarely got rain, or any sort of storm for that matter. Sure, they were surrounded by a forest, but that, in of itself, never posed that much of a threat: well, unless you didn’t count the bergen attack back before Poppy became a Queen, or all the dangerous creatures that lived inside the village, or Cloud Guy. But, never have those outside forces from the forest ever disrupted a Pop village party! And Poppy will make sure that this party was not to be pooped by some rain! “Yeah, you hear that rain! You won’t poop on this party.” Poppy shouted, pointing a finger to the weather outside; though it didn’t give much of a reaction and continued its own way. Poppy paused, staring at the raindrops before laughing nervously. “And I’m talking to rain… oh I’m talking to rain.” “If it makes you feel better… you were really convincing when you told off the rain.” A snickering voice sounded from behind Poppy, causing her to jump and yell. She didn’t remember inviting anyone over. Yet, when she whipped around, her guard was dropped instantly upon seeing you. While Poppy didn’t invite you over, you tended to just show up in her pod when she needed you the most. Likewise, she always tended to show up in your pop when you needed her. Branch always called it some sort of sixth sense you two had, and you could never tell if he said it sarcastically or literally due to his horrible choice in tone. But, either way, it was kind of true. You dropped the cupcakes you had brought onto Poppy’s table, walking over to her with a curious yet confused look, “So… why are we screaming at the rain?” “Ha! You know…?” Poppy’s lips etched with a nervous smile, fiddling with her fingers as she glanced outside the window. She didn’t mean for anyone to hear her yell at the rain. “It’s pooping your party, huh?” Poppy nodded at your correct guess, her grin only growing as she knew you would understand her outlandish outbreak. You stood there, staring out at the rain for a solid moment. Poppy glanced over at you, cocking up a curious eyebrow, as she tried to guess what you were thinking about… or maybe, what you were about to do. Whatever she was thinking, it wasn’t you joining in her silliness! “Hey rain, stop pooping my girlfriend’s party! She worked really hard on it and you are only ruining it for everyone!”

“Yeah! Go away and come again another day!” Poppy joined you with a bounce in her step, grinning from ear to ear with playfully frowned eyebrows. You both were already on the brink of laughter, but tried to keep yourselves composed. “Yeah! Haven’t you heard the rhyme? Rain, rain, go away, come again another day!” You stuck your hands outside Poppy’s window and tried to shoo the rain away. Though your hand waving only spread the rain that drenched them to flicks elsewhere. And despite your shared attempts, the rain didn’t seem to be budging or going away to come again another day. You and Poppy watched the rain for a moment, seeming convinced that your attempts would drive away the rain. Or, maybe you both knew you were being silly! Well, Poppy knew that more than you as she burst out into laughter after you muttered, almost too sincere, “Huh… I actually thought that would work.”

@!; After your failed attempts at trying to shoo away the rain didn’t work, and Poppy had calmed down from her hysterical laughter, you both found yourselves sitting on the floor of her pod. You had brought over the cupcakes from her table, having them safely between your legs, while Poppy scrounged around for her scrapbooking materials. She had decided if she couldn’t physically plan the party outside, due to the rain, she would just plan it inside with a scrap book! And talk to you all about her plans as you were here and ready to listen. “So! Tomorrow’s party is going to be so huge. Like, almost bergen-catching level huge.” Poppy snickered as she grabbed her basket of materials and books and scraps, walking over to where you sat on the floor. She joined you, plopping down right beside you, and began to unpack her basket at once with a feverous delight. And while you were half-way through a cupcake, you still answered your girlfriend, “Oh, bergen-catching level huge, huh?” “Yes!” Poppy exclaimed instantly, not wasting a beat. “It’s to celebrate our second week of knowing there’s more Trolls out there than just us! So I was thinking that we could try and have Trolls from different villages come and join us and allow them to play their music so everyone can be in harmony again like they were two weeks ago. It’ll unite everyone just like how everything had been and it’ll be amazing and spectacular and- and even Branch will come!” You couldn’t help but smile as Poppy tried to contain her excitement, yet she was basically bouncing off the walls; Figuratively, not literally. As she rushed out her thoughts to you, laying out her plans in great detail, she scrapbook her whole plan. It was oddly fascinating and calming to watch Poppy scrapbook, especially when you could eat multiple cupcakes while doing so. She just always put her whole heart into the activity, she always put her whole heart into everything, and it made it all so enjoyable. Even if her plans were a little unrealistic, you decided to let her enjoy her little fantasy plans for now; Maybe you’ll break it to her later, get her to see that it would be a little more difficult than she’s thinking, but if she truly believed in it she should fight for it. Or, maybe, Branch will break it to her first and you might have to throw hands with the gray, bunker-dewling hobbit. Even if he’s right. Hours flew by light minutes. You were on your fifth cupcake, this one being double chocolate. Poppy was cutting out the little details on her scrapbook design. You both sat there in a lovely silence that was being filled with music from Poppy’s record player, old vinyls you had found and decided to pop onto play with Poppy’s agreement. And you were sure you couldn’t hear the rain sputtering against the windows anymore, yet you didn’t want to tell Poppy just yet. Knowing her, she would rush off, dragging you with her, to go plan the party outside her scrapbook. Yet, you wanted to be a little selfish and keep her with you for a little longer. A little longer with Poppy leaning against you. A little longer of the record player singing out the vinyl tunes. A little while longer of peace. A little while longer of here and now.

.ᐟ this work is published and owned by @vacayisland. please do not plagiarize, copy, or steal this work; like, reblogs, and saves are appreciated :D

[elliethefroggy]

Roy Kent: Minder Extraordinaire

(for those of you who prefer reading fanfics on tumblr instead of ao3)

Summary:

What if Jamie had actually done as Roy had asked all the way back in season 1 when Roy told him to get Colin and Isaac to stop messing with Nate? Or Roy Kent accidentally becomes Jamie Tartt's minder and regrets every step of the process until he doesn't.

Chapter 1: Roy Kent Has Regrets

The first reluctant step in their respective redemption arcs.

When Roy goes up to Jamie to ask him to get Isaac and Colin to leave Nate the fuck alone, he doesn’t have much hope that the little prick will listen to him.

When said little prick laughs in his face, Roy considers glaring at him into submission or knocking his teeth out.

Instead, Roy finds some relic of self-control within himself, a pool of patience so shallow it might as well be called a puddle.

“Look,” Roy says, “I get that you don’t give two shits about Richmond—”

“And you do?” The prick interrupts him. That puddle gets a lot smaller. “The way I see it, you give about as much a shit about Richmond as I do. I’ve been here for months, and what? Now you’ve decided to act like the fucking captain? Finally remembered that there’s actual shit that comes with that fancy title? That Alzheimer's really kicking your arse, innit?”

“Just fucking do it,” Roy says. Pauses. Very reluctantly adds, “Please.”

Jamie looks at him, eyebrows raised, a fucking bewildered expression on his dumb fucking face. And yes, okay, Roy doesn’t say please much, he’ll admit to that, but the twat’s been here for a while now; Roy has definitely used that word in front of him. Right?

“Yeah, alright,” Jamie says, looking at Roy like he’s got something contagious, “If it means that fucking much to you. I’ll take care of it; Nate’s a good lad.”

And because the magic fucking word was so effective, Roy decides to use another one, see what that can get him.

“Thanks,” he says, and walks away, leaving Jamie to his weights. He catches Jamie’s face as he steps out of the gym. Definitely one of the funnier expressions he’s seen on that prick. All scrunched up and confused.

The things is though, in some dark little corner of his mind, Roy knows he’s being a shit captain (not that he’ll ever say that out loud because fuck if he’ll admit that Tartt is right). He’s too stuck in his own head to give a shit about Richmond, too worried about how bleak his fucking future’s looking. Retirement striding closer and closer every time he steps onto the pitch with his bum knee.

The great Roy Kent, too busy raging over the end of his fucking career to actually do his fucking job properly.

And some not insignificant part of him thinks why bother putting in the effort now. Why not just finish up his career coasting at Richmond like he’s been doing, and then fuck off to become irrelevant like so many footballers before him. It’s practically a right of passage in this life.

However, now that Ted Lasso has come to darken the club’s doorstep, that plan is looking less and less feasible as the days go by.

(He decides to ignore that somewhat less insignificant part of him that’s relieved by that.)

Later, Roy rounds a corner to the locker room and sees the prick talking to Isaac and Colin. Roy backs away before they can see him and peaks his head around the corner.

“You’ve had your fun. It was a good laugh. But maybe ease up on Nate a bit, yeah?” Jamie says, doing that stupid thing he always does with his shirt, hands tucked underneath it, stretching out the fabric, “Don’t want the gaffer to think we’re a bunch of animals, right?”

Colin and Isaac look almost as confused as Jamie did in the weight room, but they nod solemnly and say ‘yeah, no problem’, before walking away, Tweedle-dumb and Tweedle-fucking-dumber.

Roy steps back into view, “Now, was that so fucking?” he asks and takes great satisfaction when Tartt jumps out of skin like the little baby he is.

“Fukin’ hell!” Jamie clutches at his heart, the dramatic idiot, “The fuck you doing sneaking around like some senile old ninja?”

“Making sure you keep your word.”

“Keep your fucking tartan socks on, grandad. I did what you fucking asked.”

“And I’m sure it must have been very painful for you. Are you alright? Did you pull something? Do you need to have a sit down?” Roy asks because he’s mature like that.

“Fuck off,” Jamie says, and storms away, further proof that he’s a fucking baby.

Roy thinks that that’s that; Nate can rest easy, Roy can congratulate himself on his good dead for the year, and he can go back to ignoring Jamie ‘The Prick’ Tartt. Except, of course, fucking Lasso has to go and put his moustachioed fucking nose where it isn’t wanted.

Sitting at the same table as Jamie fucking Tartt, about to be sold off like fucking cattle all in the name of the children was not Roy’s idea of a good time. Fuck Ted Lasso. And fuck his fucking moustache. Roy would pay the fucking charity triple whatever he was sold for if it meant he could go home and leave this fucking farce behind. Unfortunately, that wasn’t allowed; he’d checked.

Though admittedly, messing with Tartt, telling him he would have to fuck that old lady was fun enough, until Tartt stormed off again, Keeley chasing after him. The little prick has been doing that a lot lately.

But then Roy starts thinking about what Jamie said. About Roy being a shit captain. And watching Jamie walk further and further away is no longer fun. And no amount of beer seems to make it fun again.

After a while, Roy sighs and, against his better judgement, decides to be a decent fucking person tonight.

He regrets getting up as soon as he’s on his feet. Regrets every step that takes him closer to the prick.

He finds Jamie at the bar, peeling off the label from a beer bottle and ripping the paper to tiny, little shreds, Keeley nowhere in sight. Roy stands next to him and regrets it. Jamie doesn’t look up, his eyes fixated on the beer label, the bits of paper getting smaller and smaller. And Roy realises something (he regrets that realisation).

“This auction really bothers you, doesn’t it?” Roy watches as Jamie tenses, just enough to be unnoticeable had Roy not being properly paying attention.

“Fuck off.” Roy watches as Jamie’s hands let go of the shreds of paper and try to worm their way underneath a shirt that isn’t there. Jamie’s hands drop when they don’t find the fabric.

More than anything, Roy regrets that he’s starting to get concerned about Jamie Fucking Tartt. The world really is going to shit.

“You don’t actually have to sleep with them, you know,” Roy says.

“Yeah, I’m not fucking stupid.” But Jamie had believed them, hadn’t he? When Roy and Keeley had ganged up on him. He’d believed them, and he’d looked panicked.

And Roy is feeling shittier and shittier the longer this conversation goes on.

“Anyway, it’s just sex, innit,” Jamie says, “Not like it’s a big fucking deal.”

Except this was starting to look like a big fucking deal, because Jamie was still so tense, and if Roy looked hard enough, he could just about see Jamie’s hands, fisted at his side, shacking slightly.

“You don’t have to fuck anyone you don’t want to,” and Roy doesn't know why he says that, doesn’t know why he’s reminding a fucking grown adult about fucking consent. Only with the way Jamie’s acting, it’s starting to feel fucking necessary.

Silence, and then, “Yeah,” Jamie says. And Jamie took too long to answer, and now Roy's really starting to get concerned, and being concerned about Jamie Tartt feels fucking awful.

But before Roy can get into whatever the fuck that’s about, the auction’s about to start, and they get called back to their table.

Roy has many, many regrets.

Roy doesn’t even think when he does it. He’s starring at Jamie up on that stage looking as uncomfortable as Roy’s ever seen him, their conversation and the fucking awful implications behind it playing a constant loop in Roy’s head.

Then that perverted Shetland pony matriarch bids five thousand quid. Jamie starts looking desperate. Roy feels himself lift his arm up.

“Six thousand.” Those words come out of his mouth before his brain can even kick in and decide that no, that’s a fucking stupid thing to do.

He sees Keeley look at him as she places her unused paddle back on the table, bemused as fuck. Because of fucking course Keeley was going to bid on her own boyfriend; she’s the nicest person he’s ever met even if her taste in men leans towards those who are pretty and shit in equal measures.

And he knows that Jamie’s digging holes into his head with those fucking eyes of his much like Cheryl fucking Barnaby is doing, only he refuses to look at Jamie, because what the fuck is Roy even doing.

“Well, well, well,” Fucking Rupert Mannion opens his mouth, and why is he even here? “It seems the Richmond Captain wants a bit of one on one training with the gorgeous young man to my left.” And why the fuck did he say it like that?

Cheryl Barnaby bids seven thousand, probably wondering what Jamie looks like on a fucking Shetland pony. And because Roy’s already started this, he’s fucking finishing it.

He bids ten thousand and decides then and there that he’s disappearing off the face of the earth and moving to some fucking remote village in South America where nobody’s ever heard of him.

Cheryl keeps her mouth shut and doesn’t lift her paddle again.

Roy’s won.

Fuck.

Roy goes back to the bar and finds Jamie where he left him last time. Roy leans against the bar, his shoulder jostling Jamie’s. Neither talk for a moment.

“The fuck was that about?” Jamie asks after the silence becomes awkward enough.

“I was being fucking nice; it happens sometimes,” Roy says. You looked uncomfortable, Roy doesn’t say. “Unless of course, you want to spend a night with Cheryl Barnaby, Shetland pony breeder extraordinaire.”

“Fuck no,” Jamie says immediately. He takes a drink, so does Roy. Then Jamie asks “Was I, like, meant to return the favour?”

“Fuck no,” Roy repeats Jamie’s words, “This is weird enough as is.”

“I’m not going to fuck you no matter how much you paid for me.”

“Did you not hear that whole conversation we had about consent?”

“Just saying.” And then more quietly, “Thank-you” so quietly Roy barely hears him.

And Roy doesn’t want to thing about the vulnerability leaking into Jamie’s voice, so instead he changes the subject because Jamie is looking small and uncertain, two things that Roy refuses to associate with Jamie under any circumstance.

He brings up his old dickhead teammate, Doug Stashwick, and thankfully Jamie follows the change in conversation.

By the end of it, they’re both smiling and laughing together which is fucking weird but at least Jamie doesn’t look so small anymore.

Though, knowing that the prick had a poster of Roy on his wall when he was a kid makes the whole Jamie situation just a little bit shittier.

Ch2

[glitterpensupremacy]

(NOT MTS CONTENT) Alright, as a Miraculous fan (with a particularly vested interest in Chat Noir) I’m making my thoughts on the new Chat Noir look clear.

I’m not super upset that he doesn’t have a new outfit, since, let’s be honest, Ladybug and Carapace needed it WAY more than he did.

I’m also not that concerned about his new proportions. Yeah, they’re a little funny looking, it that might just be the camera angle. Either way, he’s getting older so it makes sense that his facial structure is changing (plus I give my own CN a slightly more angular face to indicate that he’s a sweet kid, sure, but there’s a lot more to him than just “good perfect bean”.

So then, what’s got me emotionally invested enough to make a Tumblr post? (By now it’s probably pretty obvious…)

The hair.

HERE’S THE THING THOUGH- it’s not that I think the hairstyle is bad or ugly. It’s very stylish, and the smooth swishy look would be more than welcomed on a different character. But that’s the problem, this is the wild and chaotic Chat Noir, the catboy of destruction who tells terrible puns. His hair should not be that neat, and it should not be that perfect (yeah it’s a little messy, but only enough to have that “effortless, natural look” you’d see in a shampoo ad)

Maybe I’m overreacting; after all, it’s just a hairstyle, and I’m treating it like it’s the end all be all for his character in Season Six. However… it’s not just the hair. While watching Season Five, I noticed that Chat Noir doesn’t really joke around as much as he did in previous seasons (especially in the second half of S5), and isn’t really allowed to get mad or be rebellious outside of when his role as the love interest needs him to (trying to cataclysm Dark Owl because of the Married LadyNoir vision, trying to cataclysm Dark Cupid because he’s being a protective boyfriend to Marinette, telling off Nighttormentor because Gabriel forced him to go to London, sure, but the show makes it clear that the REAL problem is him trying to keep Adrien and Marinette apart). Other than that, he’s the perfect well-behaved supportive partner.

In general, it feels like Chat Noir and Adrien are becoming more similar personalities, which is good: I think a lot of us have anticipated this happening for his character arc… but the problem is, Chat Noir is becoming more like Adrien rather than Adrien becoming Chat Noir, because isn’t his arc supposed to be breaking free of the perfect controlled persona his father has forced him into, learning to express himself and become his own person? (There’s also the fact that I think he’s a little more interesting to watch as Chat Noir or the more expressive early seasons Adrien, but his development is the more important issue here.)

This kinda thing has me worried that everyone who believes that the finale was bad on purpose (the secret dystopia route) and that the writer’s genuinely do want us to believe that Gabriel’s actions have been valid and ethical (THEY ARE NOT: BRO IS A TERRORIST 💀.) Either that, or they just want us to watch the cute shipping scenes and not really care about Adrien’s character outside of that. Kinda a bleak view, I know, but that’s how things have been looking lately. (Maybe they’re making him look neater as a part of the dystopia route though? I guess we’ll see but it seems unlikely…)

(I probably should reemphasize that I’m not actually getting this “doom and gloom conspiracy board” over JUST a haircut. It’s more like I saw a bunch of other (personal) warning signs over the last two seasons, and this is just one other thing making me more worried.)

I know this isn’t my usual stuff but I felt like I needed to air my grievances (especially since while I have seen other people not like the new hair, it doesn’t seem to be for the same reasons as me, seeing as I don’t even dislike the hairstyle itself; just the fact that Chat Noir’s the one who has it). Hopefully this was at least interesting or even validating, but if not… Well, I’ll get back to my normal content after this anyway.

[saintofdaggers]

movie recs for Saw fans

Saw is a really unique franchise, for better or for worse, so finding movies with a similar aesthetic, theme or storytelling style is hard unless you're willing to dig into the really cheap ripoffs. well, I've been collecting movies that kind of helped the Saw craving, and here's my totally subjective rec list you can use as a reference point if you want to

The Collector and The Collection by Marcus Dunstan: these were written and directed by the guys who wrote Saw IV and beyond, so you're in good (?) hands here. the visuals and traps are distinctly Saw, and the second movie is giving Saw 3D if that movie drank a bunch of Red Bulls. make of that sentence what you will

Hard by John Huckert: an obscure thriller where a closeted detective has a cat and mouse pursuit with a serial killer targeting young gay men. very grimy, unflinchingly bleak and nihilistic. WARNING: this movie goes to some extremely unpleasant and upsetting places, so watch at your own risk

Pig by Rozz Williams: an art house short film where a guy in a pig mask tortures a young man in a desert. and that's it. this is pretty dreamlike and surreal and doesn't have much narrative substance, but I find it interesting to contemplate and it made me flinch more than a few times

Mindhunters: a bunch of FBI profilers in training get trapped on an empty island with a serial killer. this movie is completely ridiculous, but it gets pretty fun once the hilariously elaborate cartoon deaths start happening

X-Cross: Japanese action horror that's basically Fatal Frame doing Saw. weird editing, nonlinear storytelling, cool women, very ugly color grading. also a leg-cutting murder cult. hell yeah

Se7en by David Fincher: investigation, obsession, a dark urban environment, a serial killer with a weird method. it's considered a classic for a reason

the Broken short film by Nine Inch Nails: this is a music video that feels like a snuff film. it's disgusting, brutal, made me feel gross, and I gave it 5 stars on Letterboxd

Cure by Kiyoshi Kurosawa: think Se7en, but even colder and more mysterious.

Haze by Shinya Tsukamoto: this is one of the most claustrophobic things ever put to film. has some completely unbearable sound effects, but it's Shinya Tsukamoto, so that's kind of a given

Like Minds: an unhinged weird thriller about a psychologist trying to untangle the mystery of a high school boy's murder. very homoerotic, very weirdly structured and not exactly well-written, but the unreliable narrator gives a lot of food for thought

The Vanishing (Spoorloos): a man gets obsessed with finding his girlfriend, who disappeared mysteriously on a trip. this is one of the most chilling movies I've ever seen, with a genuinely terrifying character and an ending that took me days to get over

Cube: a bunch of strangers get mysteriously stuck in a labyrinthine structure full of lethal traps. it really gives Saw II but with a nice little sci-fi twist

Hostel and Hostel Part II: as an Eastern European, I fucking loathe Hostel and think it's very ignorant and xenophobic. however, the comparisons to Saw are pretty much inevitable, so watch it if you want and form your own conclusions (I haven't seen the second one, but I've heard it's quite good if you're into this vibe)

feel free to add your own recs to this post!

[jon-withnoh]

Give me the hot Elisabeth and Rebecca takes!

Sure thing! (Oh boy this turned out long.)

Elisabeth disclaimer: this is purely based on vibes. I have some knowledge of the historical background, but it’s not really my field of study.

Rebecca disclaimer: this is my field of study and I have very strong opinions on it, though I do not claim that I am always correct. I do however maintain that I could back up many of my claims if I had the time to do proper textual analysis and read secondary sources.

I genuinely think Elisabeth (the musical as it was written) is a masterpiece. The framing device, the way certain melodies mirror each other to foreshadow events or indicate character development — it’s amazing! Plus, the music is ridiculously good. 100/10. I love this musical.

Most stagings/recordings of Elisabeth since 2012 though? More than questionable. Levay/Kunze musicals in general appear to be following a pattern where the original production and a maybe one or two productions after it are full of nuance and complexity, only to have that complexity broken down and reduced over time. That is no fault of the musical itself, but a worrying trend of not trusting audience to be able to handle nuance and trying to make every element of a production more palatable and easier to handle. I hate it. Both the 1992 and the 2005 Wien productions have so much to recommend them (I can’t speak for the German productions but would humbly turn over the questions to more Elisabeth-versed mutuals like @fitzrove), but it all seems to be going downhill.

HOT TAKE: I think bringing on more and more “Broadway-sounding” performers to do both Elisabeth and Rebecca is a mistake. For me, Levay/Kunze shows have a very specific sound to them, a sound that fits into European musical theatre and makes sense for when and where they were created. Hiring almost exclusively people with a way more modern, belt-y sound is not a direction I personally like for these shows. Don’t get me wrong, this is not about any specific performers, it’s about trying to change the sound of these shows into something more akin to a big Broadway musical and that really doesn’t work for me. Both Elisabeth and Rebecca are so idiosyncratic in how they sound and how they’re written, trying to make them fit into a mould they don’t belong in does them a disservice. (Looking at you, VBW.)

Maybe not a hot take: but I love the 2005 Wien production of Elisabeth so much. It was my first exposure to the musical and remains my go-to cast album. It certainly has faults and I totally understand why people might gravitate towards different productions, but since I haven’t listened to the full 1992 Wien and 2001 Essen (?) productions yet, I can only compare it to 2012.

REBECCA HOT TAKE: Michael Kunze has stated that he views Rebecca as first and foremost a love story and I think he is WRONG. Daphne du Maurier herself would probably think he was wrong (seeing as she hated the story being described as a romance). This is a core problem with Rebecca das Musical. There are many things to love (Danny, Danny, Beatrice, and did I mention Danny?), but in my opinion, the whole “this is a great love story” angle does it a huge disservice. Let’s make it weirder! Let’s make it as bleak as it fucking is! (Probably not a crowd pleaser but let me have my fun).

Rebecca the musical could have done with some serious editing.

The Magdeburg production of Rebecca, which I am aware was not very accessible to a lot of people, might be one of the best productions of Rebecca ever. Kerstin Ibald absolutely knocked it out of the park with her Mrs Danvers and gave her all the nuance and emotion we so desperately crave. Her Danny is so broken, so lost. Patrick Stanke’s Maxim strikes the perfect balance between the haughty upperclass Englishman who takes kind of a fatherly tone with his young wive, and the haunted, jealous husband who absolutely did murder his first wife. Also in this production Maxim and Ich finally have some chemistry! This production’s Ich (Sibylle Lambrecht, I think) has such a great character arc and it is completely believable that she is into Maxim, even (or especially??) after his confession. Plus, the set design was amazing!!!

More Rebecca hot takes that I’ve definitely brought up before: I know we all like to write Ich as a repressed queer woman who ends up not being all that into Maxim, but honestly, she probably is very attracted to him. We can speculate about the why, but like, it is strongly implied that they have sex for the first time shortly after Maxim’s confession. She wants him.

I maintain and will die on this hill that making Danny sing “Ich liebte sie, doch sie hat mich verraten” is a mistake. I mean, yes please let Danny tell us she loved Rebecca, but come on. Danny doesn’t lose her faith in Rebecca. She doesn’t stop idolising Rebecca. Whatever her reasons for setting Manderley on fire may be it’s not that she thinks Rebecca betrayed her. I don’t even think Danny thinks highly enough of herself to even consider feeling betrayed by Rebecca. Rebecca is god to her.

I definitely have more, but this post is really long and I’m running out of steam… Hope you enjoyed!

[inamagicalhallucination]

natsuo not forgiving his dad but making peace with his past and moving on was actually really great; and i liked where endevour ended up -- even now its hard to say everyone's fully moved on from his abuse -- becuz thats not how it works, i think ive said it before but endeavors redemption arc always confused me becuz compared to characters like bakugo, his was so weak -- and that i thought (and still do) it was done on purpose

bakugo's growth is shown at a very slow and gradual process, when he apologizes to izuku, he's not only realized he was awful, he's already been actively better and he's already grown -- also bakugo's pre-arc self doesn't compare to endeavor who literally abused his entire family, leading his wife to a breakdown, his son to death and then villiany, along with many other things -- im only comparing them becuz they both had redemption arcs written by the same author not becuz i think theyre comparable

bakugo's actions werent good by any means but he, per every arc, gradually changed over and over, not only how he treated izuku but how he thought of him and how he acted overall (all the while retaining his loud personality lmao)

endeavor on the other hand essentially got what he wanted, realized he was a piece of shit and /then/ tried to make it up -- it wasnt like bakugo who was already being better when he apologized -- who was waiting to apologize -- endeavor's arc, in that way felt insincere

altho the scenes where endeavor tries to be a better father and todoroki ignores him are funny, they also show that endeavor just kind of tries to flip the switch -- there's not gradualness, no process, one day he's just like "well enough of being awful" but the thing is, why would siblings who have been hurt their entire life not want some aspect of love? of course it makes sense that even tho natsuo was the least likely to be willing to forgive endeavor, some times u thought that maybe... but natsuo could never forgive him, could never pretend that nothing happened and that they were family now, and that was perfect for him becuz he didn't owe endeavor anything

even when the dabi-touya reveal happens, endeavor fails to actually take action/responsibiltiy over his abuse of his family -- he's vocal about wanting to change, he tries to play up some reselblance of a father, but he fails to genuinely show growth most of the times (not to say he's never had moments where his regret is obvious, just that there are a lot of moments where he should be doing something but doesnt)

endeavor's arc is a show that sometimes u regret what u've done and u try to change, but u fail at it, sometimes apologies dont account for anything, sometimes people dont forgive u -- its a show that no every character arc is meant to end with the character forgiven --- endeavor says that he'll continue apologizing and give reparations for his crimes for the rest of his life, he accepts that that means nothing to natsuo and that natsuo wants to move on w/o him, he says he'll take the blame, that he chose to dance, so he'll take the consequences -- its a very bleak ending but it fits his arc the best -- endeavor was not able to really fix anything -- he did not fix his family, he did not save touya, he did not earn the love of his children, but he finally became ready to actually repent, without expecting anything in return

to clarify, i dont think that endeavor's regret is insincere, by the way, i think he does regret what he did to his family, however his regret for the abuse he forced hsi family through does not dictate how his family should react, no matter how sincere the regret, the apology, or the love, no one is required to forgive and move on -- and natsuo could not do that, but at the very least, becuz of endeavor's change, he was finally able to have some peace with it all

finally, the touya situation

the todoroki family is genuinely hell for me, the touya/dabi-shoto interaction killed me, i think ppl forget that touya's so called hatred for shoto is stemmed from the endeavors actions and abuse, touya is able to recognize that its not really shoto's fault but he cant /help/ but have all that anger in him anyway becuz of endeavor -- all of touya's siblings were born for the sole reason of being his replacement

in another life, the todoroki siblings would have loved and cherished each other, in another like touya would have been shoto's big brother and shoto would have been his little brother, they would have had soba together, they would have trained together, they would have all been a family

the "shouto im sorry" and touya crying was the worst and best thing horikoshi has ever done

[maskrosfe]

Hi I was wondering what is your thought process to “OC-ify” matsuda to make kenzou who is absolutely wonderful and I love them so very much whenever you share of them!!!

How do you separate your “matsudas” and your “Kenzous” in your head??

As someone trying to “OC-ify” my faves I have been hitting a wall and would like some advice if you are willing to offer some!

Thank you!! I hope you have a lovely day and your art creations are amazing!!

Hello hello, and thank you so much 😊!! This is a really good question actually! I'll do my best to write some thoughts about it and you can feel it out and see if it works for your OC-ifying project! (which is always exciting! OC-ifying Matsuda and others has brought me lots of joy #^_^#)

Intro: At the point in time that I OC-fied Matsuda and the others, I had been drawing them as cats for a bit already. I had experienced prior to this a feeling of "hehe those are my Ocs" when looking at Matsuda, L, Near and Mello especially. However, having suddenly drawn this very stark contrast (colorful catboys) to how they appear in the original work, it made me connect more to the idea that these guys are becoming something else in my head, more or less kickstarting actually OC-ifying them.

Tip 1: I do believe therefore, that if you wish to OC-ify a character, it can be good to pull them toward some sort of extreme to create a contrast to their "original". This helps with giving them a new home in your head, understanding them more as something different than where they started.

For me that process entailed cute-ifying the characters, taking them out of their bleak epic supernatural crime drama and putting them into a colorful world of love and comfort, but it could entail bringing any sort of contrast to the mix. Tip 2: Spending time with the idea of Kenzou also brought him to life: Drawing him, thinking about him, etc. To find out who Kenzou was beyond who Matsuda was, I had to draw him out of me. Like pulling a heavy anchor out of the ocean. Same with Piyara and the others, and I'm still pulling ^_^ so everytime I draw them I learn more about them! You can also make playlists or moodboards, if you enjoy that sort of thing :-)

Tip 3: To find out who Kenzou was I also had to create the world around him. Contrast here helps a aswell, because if I change the world completely, the character changes almost automatically too.

When you're focusing hard on one character, It's sometimes easy to forget how important others + the surrounding world are to who that character is, so I'm tinkering a lot with those around Kenzou to see what they bring out of him. For example, I'm currently pondering a lot about who his friends are, or co-workers. Removing his occupation as a cop and removing his relations to the task force has already changed who he is / who he appears to be a lot. So, worldbuilding! If you want to Oc-ify a character, it brings a lot to the process by also re-making the world you found them in. (with that said, there's no need to abandon the world you found them in, if the world you found them in is part of what you really enjoy about them. If that's the case, try to imagine a different POV in that world perhaps) Tip 4: Seek inspiration from other places *nod nod* What is your character missing in it's original form, that you would like to give them? A lot of times new creations is a mixtape of things we are drawn to, and this is what is so lovely about creation 😤

When I began working on Kenzou as a charatcer, I was very inspired by the ambience of the manga Hirayasumi by Keigo Shinzō, and I think that affected early choices a lot! Conclusion: Alright, phiouw! I think that's a solid summary of my thoughts on the topic for now. Kenzou is the first time I've so shamelessly and directly made a character out of the shell of an already existing one (that's not mine), so I'll probably have more thoughts on the topic in the future. I hope this could be of interest to your own process anon, and that you have lots of fun with the OC-ifying 😊 Thank you for your question and for your love! Best regards from me :-)

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

Do you have anything to say about my baby, the Honda CR-Z?

(Please excuse the low resolution, I wanted to introduce it with a pic from my collection and this was the only stock one I had)

Oh, the CR-Z... Pepperidge Farm here remembers obsessively following its debut on Top Gear Magazine! Pepperidge Farm and not many others, it seems, as in present day the CR-Z seems to be as relevant in today's car world as basket weaving. Wait, no, less.

In fact, coming up with an answer to this question was the most I thought about the CR-Z in almost a decade.

But thought I have, so here's your answer:

I don't get it.

I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like it! I am on record as a serial Honda liker -hell, to those who think it counts I own one- and I see no reason this one should buck the trend (although I've always felt it would look better with something between the headlights to stop it looking so big-snooty, as the bumper below does a good enough job of exemplifying that I won't bother rendering something better).

It's just that... I don't know what the point of it was. And looking at its sales that seems to be the experience of most vertebrates.

(To be fair, U.S. sales started in August 2010 and production ended in 2016 with the following years's sales just being stock clearing - but still, pretty bleak picture.)

It's not like we don't know what Honda were going for, they told us plainly: it's a sporty hybrid car, light on the wallet but heavy on the fun. And Honda would know of sporty compacts - what were they producing as the CR-Z rolled out?

Oh. It's the most hated of all six Civic Type R generations. Hm.

It's a joke, "most hated Civic Type R generation" is a bit like saying "most normal Kia Soul commercial".

If that car looks unfamiliar to you yankees, however, that's because y'all got different looking Civics for a while, such that your sporty Civic was this, the Si - seen here in the bewinged Mugen trim.

The Si is meant to sit below the Type R, but, since America wasn't getting the Type R, the yankee Si and non-yankee Type R were free to get the same 200hp from the same venerable engine (one day I'll go over all that makes the K20 so great) and the usual great handling, courtesy among plenty things of a limited slip differential. Wait, why is that not a link? Ah, right, I've never explained differentials... well, for now you can just trust that it's a cool type of differential that helps maintain grip when you're giving it the beans. Wait. Is it "giving it the beans" because you're stomping the gas pedal? Surely not. What is it from? Let me google this... Okay, sources seem scarce and shaky but apparently the idea was that if you fed horses beans they wou- wait this post is about the CR-Z. How did we get here? I swear this NEVER happens.

In short, Honda knew, and has always known, how to make proper sporty cars and give them great engines, whatever their size. So can it possibly have been a surprise when this thing came out and, forget motoring journalists, even the more talkative stray cats were meowing that the CR-Z did not have the engine grunt to back up its sporty pitch?

And look, if anyone here will say a car with as little as 120-130hp cannot be worth bothering with, it won't be a diehard of the Mazda Miata, which sold well over half a million units no more powerful than that. But that's a car that focused on open top enjoyment and getting a lot out of a little, just like the 60s European spiders it threw back to. What did the CR-Z throw back to?

Well that'll be the CR-X.

Introduced in 1983, the CR-X was a coupe version of the Civic of the time (hence its 1987 update corresponding with the Civic's). And just like the Civic in question, it is most fondly remembered for its sporty, proper-fun Si guise (pronounced "ass eye", because eye me dat ass) and the even sportier SiR that yankees never got. Which makes perfect sense, considering its main appeal against the Civic was the sportier looks.

Sure, since the CR-X left us North America got a Civic coupe in its stead, but am I going to pretend this thing looked half as good as the CR-Z that was about to join the lineup?

Not for free I'm not.

So now, imagine the stellar engine and manual transmission from a Civic Si/Type R, but now with electric assistance for even more power AND fuel efficiency, all in a car hundreds of kilos lighter, significantly shorter -thus more agile- and with the sleek CR-Z looks.

Then keep imagining.

The CR-Z never got an Si or Type R version, it was just left to sit there with its 122hp (later begrudgingly upped to 130) that, forget the contemporary sporty Civics, compared unfavorably to its 30 year old predecessor.

The CR-X was the sportier Civic. If its successor gets walked not just by the Civic but even by the CR-X itself, what's the point of the resurrection?

However, I concede there's an objection to this argument: this graph.

These are the US sales figures for the second generation CRX (which I think dropped the dash?), and, if you were to be able to parse it, you'd notice that the sporty Si version made up about a third of the sales - meaning most buyers forewent the sportiness in favor of the lower cost of the standard DX model or the High F-iciency of the even slower HF model. So if those versions sold well, why shouldn't the CR-Z have?

Well, if you ask me: image is more than looks.

This blog -and other affiliated entities- touched on the concept of race wins on Sunday bringing sales on Monday, and the same phenomenon happens with cool sport versions. Today's Corolla is a much cooler car in the eyes of the people who see in it the underlying foundation of its extraordinary GR version, and this phenomenon is most amplified the smaller the gap -or perceived gap, at least- between the version you're admiring and the more modest version you could realistically be interested in. I strongly believe that many people bought the dog slow CRX HF because the CRX Si ingrained within them the idea that they were buying something cool.

And Honda, as we touched on, had the perfect engine to dump into the CR-Z to make a wicked sport version. Hell, they could even have just given its regular engine forced induction - and we know it because the CR-Z Mugen RZ did just that!

Here at last was a perfectly respectable sport version that, while still underneath the Civic's best power-wise, was more than good enough to make car enthusiasts give a damn about the CR-Z. And what did Honda do with it? They limited the production to 300 units and only sold them in Japan. Take a fucking drink.

I cannot fathom why they would do that. It's not that they couldn't homologate the power additions or whatever, because a. that doesn't justify the limited production run and b. the supercharger (or at least a supercharger, not sure if it's the same) was made available in the US in the form of a dealer-fitted optional extra. Not by selling a supercharged special version altogether, no no, that may cause the public to -gasp- notice and care.

What was the point? Were they deliberately trying to keep the CR-Z's image one of an efficiency-focused... sleek hatch-coupe with minimal backseats?

Wait what?

Dear God, yankees, what have you done to Honda to get done so comically dirty?

Is it just that they thought y'all too big to fit back there?

That makes it even crazier!

Why in tarnation would they think people would care about a sleek, three-door, two seat, manual... efficiency-oriented hybrid?

Oh, right. Because they made the first generation Honda Insight. Which I myself love.

This was even sleeker and more hardcore than the CR-X: it was as light as the lightest ones despite the electric powertrain, it did without backseats entirely, it was the most aerodynamic production car that had ever been built... but all this wasn't about performance at all. It was about milking every drop of your hard-earned fuel for every single fucking inch of forward movement it was worth.

And it sold very well! I mean, look at the yearly sales figures!

Look how much America loved it! In a year of production that started from December it sold around a third the units the CRX sold in a full year!

So imagine what the production numbers were like for the year 2000!

huh?

Oh you mean these are the total sales. Like, all the first generation Insights ever sold in its entire six years and change of production. Oh. And it totals to like 17.000. Which is around how many CRX Si they sold in a year in North America alone. Hm.

Yeah, it suddenly makes a lot more sense how the second generation Insight was a Prius wannabe.

In fact, now that I look at it... that back looks familiar, doesn't it?

Wait...

Wait!

Well, now suddenly the car makes a lot more sense. And actually, come think of it, let me check the sales figures for the Mk2 Insight...

Considering, again, the CR-Z's US debut happened in August 2010, they match up pretty well, and it would be a pretty reasonable sales split if we were to consider them the 5 and 3 door versions of the same car.

Now, this may make it seem like it wasn't such a failure after all, and it did well in the segment it was actually intended to compete in. But let's give some context on how good those Insight sales figures are.

Yeah. Yeah no. The second Insight just wasn't a hit either.

But at least, now I can say I get the car. The Insight was pretty big and... uncool, so the CR-Z was a good way to offer that same hybrid efficiency to people who wanted a more compact, sleeker package - though perhaps not as extreme as the first gen Insight. Unless you're a yankee, I assume.

The name still doesn't make sense.

I mean, it would if I could see Honda seeing CR-X as just... a body style, and its resurrection of it akin to resurrecting, say, the Civic Shuttle.

(It was the only side picture I had saved.)

And Honda's press material made another point to this end, that I wasn't aware of.

So sure. Point taken. The CR-X was shaped by the quest for efficiency, so it follows that its successor would be efficiency focused as well.

But that's not how the CR-X is remembered. In everyone's minds, the CR-X is cemented as the sporty version (that Honda sold, mind - this is not like with the Supra, whose reputation was defined by modders). And the weirdest thing is, they don't just know that, they bring it up.

And indeed, they call the CR-Z's role "quite different from the original Insight coupe's" - they want this car to "change the current perception of hybrids" by blending hybrid efficiency and sportiness. They rightly sell its looks as sporty, take great pride in the manual transmission and explicitly state it's for driver engagement, over and over talk about 'enthusiastic' owners and 'enthusiastic' driving and 'enthusiastic' engine note etc etc. They brag about how much of a difference their Sport mode makes. They call attention to the valves per cylinder. They constantly remind of how (unlike the Insight) it has the legendary V-TEC. (If this is the first you hear of it, ask about it in the tags).

This is the press release for a sports hatch.

But when time came to give it a sports hatch's power? Japan got 300 units, North America got a dealer-fitted kit with a numbered plaque two years before the car's nixing, and we had to hope to never have a flat tire because Europe didn't get jack.

Was it to avoid stepping on the toes of the sporty Civics, because if the sporty CR-Z's potential buyers will otherwise just get a sporty Civic then why make two models to get the same amount of buyers? If so, I'll tell you why: because that was the only chance of moving regular CR-Zs, which surely must have been a worthwhile pursuit if you made the damn thing.

Was it the fear of a power-focused engine resulting in fuel economy so underwhelming it would undermine the model's eco premise? If so, heyo, you have electric assistance, which means you can either get more speed out of the same engine marking a win for the hotboys or get the same speed out of a more efficient package - and in both cases you're showing a hybrid powertrain bringing something to the table, which is how you actually "change the perception of hybrids" in the minds of people who consider them synonymous with boring.

I'm not saying my counters are bulletproof or that there is no argument against a hot CR-Z. I'm just saying that if there is, it's an argument against the regular CR-Z also. Because if the CR-Z was never to be something worth considering over anything that could be called sporty, then they should never have bothered to begin with - at least, if they were going to aim it so squarely at "the enthusiastic drivers".

In short,

Honda sought to make a sportscar - be it to sell the car itself or to sell a concept like "we're committed to preserving driving enjoyment even into electrification" or "hybrids are cool, so buy a hybrid, and please don't whine if we ever need to make a hybrid Type R or whatever thanks". And I'm always down for Honda building a sportscar. It was Honda that wasn't, for whatever reason. And so there the CR-Z stood, waiting until its passing for a sportier engine that would show the world how cool it was. But it never came. And it bugs me. Because I find it a shame. Because I remember reading of the Mugen prototype and waiting with bated breath for the production version that we ultimately never got. Because I still would love to see them about more than I do. Because I wish the second generation that apparently was in the works got to see the light of day.

Because, even after all these days of thinking about Honda's strategy and learning all we went over, and perhaps because of it,

I still don't get it.

Links in blue are posts of mine about the topic in question: if you liked this post, you might like those - or the blog’s Discord server, linked in the pinned post!

[jeepersjpeg]

can you explain your interpretation of "i'm thinking of ending things"? id love to hear your thoughts

YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS

*ahem*

first off : the book and the movie are vastly different, but i actually do not have a preference for one or the other. i think everyone who's seen the movie should read the book, i think everyone who's read the book should see the movie. they both bring incredible things to the table when it comes to telling this story. for simplicity, i'll only be talking about the book (SPOILER WARNING TOO)-- but keep in mind i Absolutely Love and Still Recommend the film wholeheartedly.

i interpret I'm Thinking Of Ending Things as a heartbreakingly bleak trans horror story. this was my first conclusion, almost as a joke, but when i looked over the book again i found that it made so much sense.

these are a few details that i think contribute to my interpretation :

jake is not just imagining himself with a girlfriend, with a better more fulfilling life, he's imagining himself as a girl. Jake's source of depression comes from not living up to his full potential, but there's really no specific way he envisions his "better life" except "im a girl this time, and im happy".

the girl is never named, nor described (other than a one-off line confirming that she's blonde, and also implying that Jake is blonde) but the book alludes that Girl looks a lot like Jake. her appearance is supposedly drawn from a girl he saw at trivia night, and then he started.. imagining himself as this girl? i don't think his avoidance of her was a "missed connection" type of thing. i think he felt longing in an envious way. he can never bring himself to be with a woman because it would make him upset, like being someone's boyfriend would just be a confirmation of his current gender. his expected role as a man. taking any steps to make a life for himself involves being perceived as a man. a boyfriend, a husband, a father. he doesn't want to lock himself into these roles.

during the sex scene, he says "let's use our hands, only our hands". even in his fantasies he can't bear to imagine normal PIV sex because He Doesn't Know What It Feels Like From A Girls Perspective. even when he is the girl, he Can't imagine it, and he can't disrupt his perfect dream. so they use their hands, only their hands.

the paintings. the grotesque imagery of both his selves trying to merge, hidden away in a basement. the picture on the wall of "Jake as a child" that looks exactly like Girl.

at the end, Jake is being hunted down by his younger self. there's this sense of anger from him, as Girl dissipates into an old man, "Why didn't you do it? We could've had this life. It's too late now. Why didn't you do it?" he now believes there's no chance of becoming who he wants to be. that this is how life will always feel. that the only way out is relieving himself of feeling this way entirely : killing himself. merging as one with the Girl, he can stay inside this dream forever. nothing has to hurt anymore.

AND HE DIES IN A CLOSET.

i found that there are a lot of parallels between I'm Thinking Of Ending Things and I Saw The TV Glow. it looks like only one of them leaves room for hope, but i don't think that's entirely true.

I Saw The TV Glow tells us "there is still time". it has an equally bleak ending, but it's not over. Owen isn't dead. no matter how old he is, his life is not over. as long as he's still alive there is still time.

and I'm Thinking Of Ending Things tacks onto this, "what are you waiting for?"

they both have symbolism that can read as suicide or transition. in a way, it's both. it's presented as "killing" a part of yourself. The Real You is suffocating. the idea of having to upheave your entire life, however "good" it may be now, for a chance at happiness (potentially alienating yourself from everything and everyone you know)- is terrifying. the alternative (that you give up, that life is going to feel like this forever) is equally terrifying.

but There Is Still Time.

we didn't see Owen make it out. we don't see Jake survive. but you're here. like a cautionary tale-- you walk out of that theater, you close this book, after looking into a shattered mirror that echoes the terrifying thought of your hopes and dreams being euthanized. after looking into a crystal ball that tells you Yes, It Will Hurt. Yes, It Will Be Hard. this is how it can be, this is how it often goes. but it doesn't have to be you. it doesn't have to end like this for you.

i can never get it out of my head : There Is Still Time. What Are You Waiting For?

[sitp-recs]

The Chocolate Cosmos has earned its place on the list of rare flowers of the world as it has been extinct in the wild for years. The Chocolate Cosmos is a rich reddish-brown in colour and gives off a rich chocolate fragrance when it blooms, hence its name. This red flower is native to Mexico, however they no longer exist in the wild. It does not produce any seeds and needs to be grown with the help of tissue culture or root division. Technically, only clones of the original flower survive today.

Happy Valentines Day! Did I go overboard with this long-ass list? Maybe so 🤣 a special thanks to everyone who participated on the V Day poll I did a while ago; rarepair romance was the most voted option so here we are! I let myself go wild with ships and tropes, the idea was to celebrate some peak romance and I hope this list reflects the nuanced complexities of love in its many forms. There are different kinds of love here: soft and tender, devastating and all-consuming, transgressive, comforting, damning, but in all cases poignant and true. This got a bit too long but I had lots of fun putting it together. I hope everyone will be able to find nice new ships and hidden gems. Happy readings!

Triads

Aim For My Heart by @tackytigerfic (M, 3.4k) - Harry/Draco/Ron

Harry's in love, Ron's in control, and Draco just wants a nice lunch.

Sanctuary by Lokifan (E, 3.8k) - Harry/Draco/Bill

When Harry goes to them, he isn’t running away from the bleak, lonely parts of life any more. He’s running towards something better.

Flood by holyfant (E, 4.7k) - Harry/Ron/Hermione

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Love to Give by @kittycargo (E, 9.5k) - Harry/Draco/Neville

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A Case of You by @ruinsplume (E, 10k) - Albus/James/Scorpius

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Better Than by marguerite_26 (E, 11k) - Harry/Ginny/Draco

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A Life Worth Remembering by @writcraft (E, 23k) - Harry/Draco/Snape

Severus Snape wakes in St Mungo’s, to discover that a potions accident has wiped the last forty years from his body and mind.

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Bonus: Sardines by @shiftylinguini (E, 4k) - Albus/Scorpius + Teddy/James

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MLM

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Flare Up by Lokifan (E, 1.8k) - Draco/Ron

Draco is still afraid of fire sometimes. Ron helps.

Between the Houses by @thesleepiesthufflepuff (E, 2k) - Dean/Charlie

He paused on the doormat, taking out the ring that he’d stowed away several hours ago.

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I could have died of it, your tenderness toward me. Instead I decided to live.

The Left and Leaving by @wolfpants (E, 3k) - Bill/Charlie

Deep in the woods, he finds him in the treehouse.

Slip Free of My Grasp by @lqtraintracks (E, 3.5k) - Harry/Sirius

I don't want to be bad for him. I want to do bad things and still be, somehow, inexplicably, good.

Surface Texture by @the-starryknight (E, 5.3k) - Harry/Teddy

I've drawn a hundred portraits, but none quite like Harry's. In the early hours of the morning, I lay him bare in charcoal and paper.

Pigment by @wynnefic (T, 5.7k) - Harry/Sirius

Sirius makes a promise to Harry during the war. Three years later, he keeps his word.

On the Same Side by rillalicious (M, 7.5k) - Teddy/Charlie

Teddy is heading to Romania to protest a proposed anti-dragon law. He finds an interesting ally there.

To Me You Are the Sea by marguerite_26 (E, 8.5k) - Harry/Scorpius

Scorpius dreaded attending Harry Potter's fiftieth birthday party for more reasons than he cared to admit.

Following The Wrong God Home by scoradh (M, 9k) - Harry/Ron

Ron isn't gay. But, feeling like he's losing his best friend, he sometimes wishes that he was.

Putting Charlie Right by mindabbles (E, 9k) - Teddy/Charlie

Teddy is very, very good at his job, and he’d be able to prove that fact if Charlie wasn’t bent on distracting him.

Settle by mindabbles (E, 9.3k) - Teddy/James

James has never wanted to settle down – or maybe he’s never wanted to settle.

Hopelessly Devoted To You by @writcraft (E, 10k) - Harry/George

Harry and George watch a lot of musicals and accidentally fall in love.

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A Soft Spot for Lost Causes by Helenish (E, 13k) - Draco/Ron

"Remember at school? Weasel? You’re so poor and dirty?" Ron said encouragingly "You hated me." “I did," Draco said.

Sun Kissed by @static-abyss (M, 13k) - Harry/Ron

Harry notices the freckles the first time they meet, the light dusting across Ron's face as he stands there in his maroon knitted jumper with the yellow R in the centre.

Prelude and Fugue by shes_gone (E, 16k) - Harry/Ron

It took over an hour, from the time Harry arrived at work, for him to realise just how different today actually was.

Winter of '79 by @writcraft (E, 17.5k) - James/Sirius

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Dreaming Skies by @sweet-s0rr0w and @tackytigerfic (E, 20k) - Draco/Ron

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Brighter Than the Sun by @goldentruth813 (E, 24k) - Draco/James

James Sirius Potter is gorgeous. He's also half Draco's age. Getting emotionally involved with him would be a complete and utter disaster.

There’s Something About A Malfoy by mindabbles (E, 27k) - Harry/Scorpius, Draco/Charlie

Charlie has no room in his drawers for anyone else's skivvies, Harry wallows in moral agony for a bit, Draco wants to rebuild his life, and Scorpius just wants Harry to stop being an idiot.

The NottPott Chronicles by @amarillis39 and @missmrah (E, 33k) - Harry/Theo

A series of moments from Theo and Harry’s lives as they learn to navigate their relationship, deal with their demons or just simply revel in each other’s company.

The Beating of This Fragile Heart by @writcraft (E, 33k) - Harry/Snape

After the war, the last thing Severus Snape needs is the memory of a fleeting wartime kiss and a very persistent Harry Potter thwarting his plans to live a peaceful and solitary life.

Rapture by mia_ugly (2015, E, 48k) - Harry/Snape

Snape sees the man, for the first time, on his twenty-fifth birthday.

Is This It by MildredMost (E, 52k) - Draco/Ron

Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy get trapped in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement during an attack drill.

Possibly, Maybe by Curlee_Cue (E, 72k) - Harry/Scorpius

“A hand carefully brushed Scorpius’ hair out of his eyes and turned his head to face his rescuer. And of course, who else would it be, but Harry Potter? Once just an abstract legend, now his very own personal saviour.”

WLW

Breaking wild roses (stings like love’s pain) by @teacup-tai (E, 1.3k) - Pansy/Hermione

I feel like a scream is stuck inside my chest, creeping up in the deep dark hollow of my throat. It’s a mix of pain and agony.

All Roads Lead To by pauraque (T, 2.5k) - Cho/Luna

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Her Life in Dreams and Wakefulness by rillalicious (M, 4.2k) - Gabrielle/Luna

The first time she has the dream, Gabrielle is sixteen years old.

Independent Love Song by @writcraft (E, 6.2k) - Ginny/Millicent

Millicent Bulstrode is a tailor and Ginny is losing her mind over a woman in a tweed blazer and burgundy brogues.

Rogue Waves by @lqtraintracks (E, 6.5k) - Ginny/Pansy

A story of living with the trauma, fucking who you want, and maybe finding a little solace.

my heart beats slow by @candybarrnerd (T, 7k) - Ginny/Luna

Luna's been there for her through thick and thin. It's been the two of them as long as she can remember.

Single and Snacking in Phoenix, AZ by @violetclarity (E, 25k) - Ginny/Pansy, Harry/Luna

When she told her friends she was bringing a date to Harry and Luna’s wedding, Ginny had only wanted them to stop bothering her about her love life.

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After an extremely ill-timed lovers'-tiff-turned-food-fight at the Ministry leaves her less one boyfriend and suspended without pay for six months, Hermione pleads for some position–anything–to fill her days until her suspension is up.

Play Me Like A Love Song by @writcraft (E, 68k) - McGonagall/Grubbly-Plank

Minerva McGonagall doesn’t believe in love at first sight, which is why her instant attraction to drag king Wilhelmina ("Will") Grubbly-Plank is so unexpected.

Bonus: Mothering Sunday by pauraque (T, 3.6k) - Astoria & Narcissa

Narcissa always wanted a little girl of her own, and Astoria never really had a proper Mum. Together they build something that neither of them ever knew was possible.

HET

And Again by @fw00shy (M, 1.4k) - Teddy/Astoria

The graduate school boys who came up from uni; well, she may be near forty, but they never aged a day.

heart by @onbeinganangel (E, 1.6k) - Draco/Astoria

After their reluctant betrothal and consequent marriage, letting Astoria take over the Malfoy business and estate was a no-brainer.

Lightning Strikes Twice by torino10154 (E, 3.5k) - Ron/Pansy

Ron never sleeps with the same woman twice. Until he meets Pansy, that is.

Coda: Temperantia by @skeptiquewrites (E, 4.6k) - Pansy/Theo

Post-War, Pansy Parkinson is a disgrace to both the traditional and progressive Wizarding worlds and she can't blame them for leaving her behind.

The Secret Incantation by pauraque (E, 5k) - Hermione/Sirius

This is what she wants. This is what he needs.

Bare Naked by cupiscent (E, 7.7k) - Draco/Ginny

Aurors-in-training get paid shit and Ginny wants her independence.

testosterone (sounds like a spell) by pauraque (E, 7.7k) - Justin/Hannah

Justin never returned to Hogwarts after the Death Eaters came. He's found that the Muggle world offers other kinds of transfiguration — a body alchemy far more powerful than any magic spell.

Spring Street by rillalicious (T, 25k) - Harry/Pansy

Harry's been undercover for eight years, on a case that's going nowhere fast. Then Pansy Parkinson is kidnapped, and everything changes.

Straightaway Dangerous by @lol-zeitgeistic (E, 125k) - Draco/Hermione, Harry/Luna

During the final battle, an unexpected insult sends Fenrir Greyback on a rampage, changing 39 people into werewolves. He should've known better than to make Hermione one of that number.

Bonus: Rest Your Head Close to My Heart by pauraque (E, 3.5k) - Harry & Hermione

It's almost time to wean her last child, and Hermione is thinking about what she's losing. Meanwhile, Harry is thinking about what he never had.

[drdemonprince]

Dear dr. Price,

A follower pointed out your book Unmasking Autism to me and said it was a life-saver. I have put in on my birthday wishes list.

According to lists on the net, I am supposed to reflect on whether I am behaving in a way that is aims at others' needs or my own and so on. This is precisely my problem. I am closer to 50 than to 40 and have probably been masking for over 40 years. How can I know what type of behaviour is learnt? What is ingrained? Is it possible that I have passed the window where I can still find natural conduct?

If you could see your way clear to answer my concern, I should be much obliged.

Kind regards,

Maarten

Hi Maarten!

Thank you so much for your question. While I understand deeply the desire to try and sort out which elements of yourself are naturally you and which elements are learned behaviors linked to a lifetime of trauma, in actuality there is no separating them. There is only one you. You have only lived one life, and it was the (at times very challenging and invalidating) life that you had. Humans are social beings, it almost makes as little sense to thing of humans in individual terms as it does to discuss ants without talking about colonies. Who we are is social, interpersonal, relational, and interactive.

The good news about that, however, is that who we are and how we feel can change, so long as our circumstances do. To some degree, masking and inhibition may always feel natural to you. I've been utterly fixated on unmasking both personally and professionally for years now, and while I've opened up a lot and learned many communication skills, my default mode of operating is still always to clench up. I will probably carry that reflex inside me for all of my life. That reflex has helped me. That reflex has saved me a great many times. It's just also hurt me and cost me a ton. And these days I try to accept all of that, and accept myself as the mutable, fragile, self-protective, sensitive being that I am.

I think it is far easier to focus on small behaviors and desires (and not-desires) than it is to worry too much about who we "really are" who we "would have been" in a completely alternate reality where we hadn't suffered the experiences that we have. Thinking about a fully liberated and unfiltered alternate self is enticing, I fantasize about who I'd have been in a better world all the time, but that person does not exist, and never did, and never ever would have.

Neurotypical are harmed by neuro-conformity pressures too. Capitalism, white supremacy, and the gender binary restrict how all people behave today pretty severely. Nobody lives fully free right now. This might sound bleak, but it's also a fact that unites us, and thinking about it gives me some hope. It helps me realize that I'm not uniquely boxed inside myself and separated from other people -- I'm suffering from the exact same forces that all people do, just in my own way.

I'm not uniquely broken. Neither are you. But we are irrevocably shaped by our life experiences. Instead of trying to change who we are, or find some inner true self, which is a daunting task, I think that instead, we can just practice saying no to things that make us uncomfortable, asking for the changes to our environment that we do need in order to feel comfortable, sharing what we feel, and taking time regularly to take stock of our lives and figure out what it is that we want and we wish for. It starts small.

Little phrases like "I don't like that," "I don't feel good," "I'm not interested in talking about that," "I'm going to go do something else," "Here's what i believe," "I don't agree with you," "I really need [thing]," and "I want to build a life with more room for [thing] in it" are some places to start. Truly, the more you get in the practice of saying such things, the better you get at noticing how you are feeling, and the more feelings and wants and not-wants you become able to self advocate for. It's not about becoming a new person, or throwing off the mask in one go. It's a skill, and anyone can develop a skill. You might as well make the rest of your life better. No amount of suffering in the past condemns you to needing to feel shitty about your desires forever.

[nblatinotails]

I really really really wanna talk about sonic and tails individual retelling of their meeting/not meeting, it's driving me crazy ! Ok ! Quickly to clear up first, clearly these don't happen in the same universe, so clearly a lot of major components are different before we even get to see what's going on. In sonics recollection, the sky is blue, the grass is green, all is good :] cause he's there to stop a lot of the industrialization that Robotnik brings, the world isn't suffering yet. Tails flashback includes paved roads and darkned skies,,, no one to stand in the way of Robotnik, so progress trudges forward, bleak and uncaring. Ok, great, that's outta the way :]

I really wanna focus on the language they both use when describing tails, the bullies, and his life after- I think the contrast is just wild and so so so interesting to compare! Like it changes a lot of the context we view these situations in and tells a lot about the character that's speaking

SO

Sonic tells it this way: Tails was a 'happy, brainy fox' till some 'blockhead bullies' started 'picking on him for having an extra tail'. Sonic ran by and the kids 'lost interest in being jerks'. Tails began following sonic and the prime universe we know is set in motion.

So already this is so reflective of sonics personality and how he perceived what was happening to Tails. Clearly he thinks Tails is a smart little kid, he's brainy, he's smart but he's a little guy. It's a nice term but it folds under the weight of what we usually expect tails to be described as, genius, brilliant. But the happy part is something that the story and tails himself argue against. Even in the prime universe, we know that tails was harassed relentlessly until he met sonic, we see in the flashback that this has already escalated to physical violence,, and they were just getting started. Sonic calls them 'blockheads', 'bullies' that 'pick on him', this language is tame and childish, its kinda downplays what we see, tho I don't think he meant it like that. Thats just how he sees it, it's kids teasing eachother,,, which makes sense for how an outsider would see it, no flack to him.. Or how an adult would soften a story as to not scare a kid, I don't think that's the reason, I think sonic just talks like that, but it's an interesting idea to think about how maybe he didn't wanna scare tails, or if he truly just remembers it as some harsh teasing.

But anyways, to Tails,, he's 4, he's scared and can't defend himself just yet, he can't do anything but take it and hope they leave soon. Also quick wanna point out the emphasis on an extra tail, sonic doesn't care, it's an extra, it's cool.. it's glossed over because its unimportant, just something that's included in the things that are happening, rather than being WHY they're taking place. So sonic runs by and the kids 'lose interest' in bothering tails (they get whooped and tails runs away), and Tails follows sonic, eventually becoming best friends and brothers.

A simple, friendly recap, it seems kinda sanitized,,perky. The way sonic recalls events are very straightforward and chill, I truly believe that he didn't look too far into the background of what he saw, just stopped it and carried on, bonus points for gaining a lil bro.

TAILS HOWEVER..

things are a lil different,, clearly in what happens after sonic didn't show up, but also in the way he talks about himself, his feelings, the actions taken against him.

Tails tells it like this: he was a kid, minding his business, but not his surroundings.. some creeps came along and picked on him for having ONE extra tail. He got a beating, a cycle that continued for years until he put his foot down. He used his 'cunning fox brain' to give him a real way to fight back. Now he needs no one. He takes care of himself.

Aauuggwwwh

The emphasis on his youth, he was 4.

He knows he wasn't to blame, he was minding his own business, he didn't DO anything. But that little bit of self blaming language: I wasn't watching my surroundings. Like he's berating himself, like he could have avoided these kids finding him if he was looking out.

These creeps pick on him, cause that's what they are to him. they aren't 'blockheads', they aren't just bullies, these are older, stronger kids. They ARE creeps, they harassed him for YEARS for no reason. Except for the fact that he has ONE extra tail. Specifically 'one extra' not 'an extra', one. Because that's all it takes. So he shows them. He makes more. But before that, he gets beaten. Not picked on, not bullied, BEATEN. it AAUUGHHH it drives me crazy, look at how he perceives his bullies!!

Like fucking monsters, chasing him in the night. I'm am not alright.

This continues for years. Chased and beaten and harassed, over and over and over again, until tails gives and makes something to protect himself, something to level the playing feild. And THIS is how he views himself while creating his augmentations.

Another allusion to something menacing, something otherworldly. He's pulling himself up to their level, using his 'cunning fox brain'. A jab at sonics wording, yeah, but more importantly, a reference to how tails sees himself. He's NOT brainy, he has to be cunning, he had to be tricky and aware at all times. So now, he can fight back.. he's got these tools, he has his brain, he has protection. Now he doesn't need anyone else. He's grown up alone, take care of himself and his own problems.