#i will not explain the McDonald's AU

[emeraldtach]

this is like the McDonald's AU but with hamon users instead of Stand Users

dairy queen employees are hamon users

[zoe-oneesama]

Would any of the international characters (Fei, Aeon, Jessica etc.) have angels?

Okay, you inspired me to dust off my tablet. I don't see myself fitting them into the story proper, so for fun, here's Fei, Aeon, and Jess. Uh, keep in mind that I haven't watched either of these specials:

I hate LadyDragon's McDonald's Ass color scheme.

I deviated from the "sort of but not a school uniform" for Fei cuz I think she deserves some funky cool CLAMP fashion. she's too good for the boring jeans and tshirt they gave her, though if she's tight on money then it makes some sense.

In this AU, Aeon totally knows what she's doing with her naked and weird named angel. She's having a big laugh behind that vacant smile when people kick up a fuss. At least in tHIS universe, she's just a doll!

Originally I was gonna put her blue sun thing as a patch on the blazer but her hair covered it up, so it's moved to the cuff. My rule for translating most of the characters is Make the Hair Bigger lol thus the massive braid for Eagle. Spoiler Alert, but in the anime there are three angel characters that sprout angel wings and it's never?? explained how???? I guess we're supposed to accept it as another possible glitch, so I think Jess would feel real proud of unlocking it and making it her own with the eagle wings.

[marsplastic13]

'Complicated' (part 10) - Kaz Brekker x Reader

Idea - Kaz Brekker hires a prostitute to overcome his touch aversion, and be a better man for Inej, but things take an unxepected turn.

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Prostitute!Reader, (had to use y/n because I'm bad at names)

Genre: modern AU, slow burn

word count: 9k

notes: soo super long part because I wasn't sure of where to cut

@millercontracting @coldmermaidhologram @syd649 @cryptidghostgirl @luffysprincess

Kaz moved through the next few days mechanically, his mind miles away. He avoided everyone and everything, lost in a haze of thoughts and emotions he couldn't fully process. When Inej asked for some time to think, he agreed without hesitation. He wasn’t ready for those difficult conversations, not when his mind was consumed by someone else entirely.

He obsessed over Y/N’s Instagram, watching her have fun on her cruise while he replayed their last conversation over and over in his mind. Glimpses of the night they shared haunted him, moments of intimacy and connection that only made the present more unbearable. He counted the days until her return, but every time, he stopped, he asked himself: then what? She had made it clear that things wouldn’t work and that she didn’t want to try.

For two days, she didn’t post anything, and Kaz was losing his mind. At first, he thought she had blocked him. Then, his thoughts spiraled further, leading him to check if the cruise had sunk, his anxiety manifesting in irrational fears.

He was on his couch, watching replays of MasterChef, when his phone buzzed. Frowning, Kaz saw DMs from one of Y/N’s roommates.

‘Hi, I know you and Y/N are not on speaking terms, and I know she’s going to kill me for this, but I have to tell you. Her grandma had a heart attack two days ago and she still hasn’t woken up. Y/N had to come back and she’s been at the hospital since then. She told us she doesn’t want anyone, but we thought maybe you could make her reason better than us.’

He was already on his feet, reaching for his car keys. ‘I’m on my way’ he replied quickly.

‘Can you stop here? We have a bag of her things ready’

Kaz reached Y/N’s house, where her roommates were already outside, waiting for him. One of them handed him a bag.

“There are some clothes, a book she had on her nightstand, and a few other things. Oh, and her glasses,” she explained.

Kaz nodded, taking the bag from her hand.

“She probably hasn’t eaten in days. Can you get her—”

“McDonald’s, yes,” he said confidently, already planning the next steps.

The girl’s face was filled with worry. “Kaz, she has no one else. If anything happens to her grandma, she’s going to lose it badly.”

He nodded again, feeling his heart race.

Outside the hospital, Kaz sent a text to his boss, saying he was taking the week off, and then turned off his phone. He found Y/N sitting on the floor outside her grandma’s room, staring blankly at the wall. Her eyes widened when she saw him, red and puffy from crying.

Without a word, Kaz slid down onto the floor next to her, ignoring the protest from his leg. He circled her shoulders with his arm, and she immediately threw herself onto his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. He held her tightly, his own emotions threatening to spill over as he tried to be the support she desperately needed. 

As she cried, Kaz rested his chin on the top of her head, stroking her hair gently. He wanted to say something comforting, but no words seemed adequate. Instead, he held her, letting his presence speak for him. In that moment, nothing else mattered but being there for her, giving her a shoulder to lean on in her darkest hour.

As she cried softly against his chest, Kaz's heart ached with the weight of her sorrow. He held her close, feeling her tremble with each sob, his own emotions tumultuous yet contained. His fingers traced comforting circles on her back, a silent gesture of solace amidst the sterile hospital environment.

Hours passed in their embrace, time marked only by the occasional shuffle of nurses outside and the rhythmic beeping of machines in the room. Eventually, y/n's voice broke the silence, a hesitant question cutting through the heaviness of the moment. "Do you want to go in?" she asked, her voice thick with emotion.

Kaz nodded gently, helping her up from their uncomfortable position on the floor. They moved to the bedside where y/n's grandmother lay, connected to various monitors and tubes. Without hesitation, y/n settled onto the edge of the bed, taking her grandmother's frail hand in hers. Kaz found a seat nearby, uncertain of his role in this deeply personal moment.

"Oh, um, they gave me your glasses," Kaz spoke up awkwardly, breaking the silence. "Didn't know you needed them."

Y/n accepted the glasses with a small smile, sliding them on with a playful comment that briefly lifted the weight in the room. "You look cuter when I can't see," she teased softly, her attempt at levity amid the somber atmosphere.

He chuckled softly, appreciating her effort to lighten the mood even in such circumstances. The afternoon faded into evening, and then night descended, their vigil by her grandmother's side continuing steadfastly. Kaz had no inclination to leave; his presence here, he hoped, offered some measure of comfort to y/n in her time of need.

"Kaz, if you want to go—" y/n began, her voice hesitant.

"I'm staying," he interrupted softly but firmly, meeting her eyes with unwavering determination.

"Thank you," she whispered gratefully, her words carrying a depth of emotion that words alone couldn't convey.

After the most uncomfortable sleep of their lives, a doctor awakened them, informing y/n that they were ready to try and wake up her grandmother by disconnecting some of the machines. Slowly, the elderly woman regained consciousness, and both y/n and Kaz released a collective breath of relief.

"Kitty?" Alice's voice was weak yet filled with recognition as she scanned the room for her niece.

"Hi, Grandma. How are you feeling?" y/n gently disentangled herself from Kaz's embrace and moved closer to the bed.

"Light," Alice replied softly, her eyes stopping on Kaz, curiosity evident in her gaze.

“I told you a thousand times not to play poker anymore,” y/n scolded Alice, a mix of exasperation and affection in her tone.

“Oh, Kitty, I was winning. I couldn't back out,” Alice chuckled weakly, attempting to lighten the mood. “You're unbelievable,” y/n shook her head fondly.

“Can we go now? I'm feeling pretty good,” Alice asked hopefully.

Kaz couldn't help but snort at y/n's reaction. “No, we can't. You had a heart attack! You have to stay here.”

“When was the last time you showered?” Alice teased gently.

“That's not relevant,” y/n retorted playfully.

“Who's watering my plants?” Alice asked, genuine concern in her voice.

“Your plants? You almost died!”

“My plants are going to die!” Alice insisted stubbornly.

Y/n laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. “I can't believe you.”

The conversation between Alice and y/n continued, filled with lighthearted banter and genuine concern, leaving Kaz feeling like a spectator in their intimate family dynamic. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, unsure of how to contribute to their exchange.

“How much Botox did you get? Your forehead is frozen!” Alice suddenly remarked, shifting her attention to y/n with a teasing tone.

“Sick, right?” y/n tried to furrow her brow to demonstrate, but it remained stubbornly smooth. “It's weird, Kitty,” she scoffed.

Alice turned to Kaz with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Do you like this look?”

Kaz hesitated, feeling slightly put on the spot. “It's, uh, a bit unsettling.”

"See, Kitty? Even this boy you still haven't introduced thinks it's weird. You just turned 18 for Ghazen's sake,” Alice teased, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Kaz, caught off guard, took a sip of y/n's vape and nearly choked at the unexpected revelation. “You just what?”

“It was her birthday last month,�� Alice explained casually, her tone implying this was no big deal, but her raised eyebrow at Kaz's surprise said otherwise.

“You're a minor?” Kaz turned to y/n, his disbelief palpable.

“Well, not anymore,” y/n shrugged nonchalantly, as if revealing the weather forecast. “Did I forget to tell you?”

Kaz was certain his face mirrored the shock he felt. His mind raced, trying to grasp the implications. He glanced at Alice, then back at y/n, feeling like he was missing something crucial.

"A minor?" Kaz repeated dumbfoundedly, trying to process the information. "And you didn't think this was worth mentioning?"

Y/n let out a laugh, seeing Kaz's stunned reaction. "Relax, Kaz. I've been legal for a whole month now."

Kaz rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on. 

Alice, enjoying the banter, chimed in again. "You look a bit pale, dear."

"Yeah?" Kaz replied in a weirdly high voice, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he had been unknowingly involved with someone who had just barely reached adulthood. "I thought... I thought you were older."

Y/n couldn't resist teasing Kaz a little more. With a mischievous smirk, she leaned closer. "Age is just a number, Kaz."

Kaz shook his head, feeling like he had just stepped into a comedy of errors. "I need a moment," he muttered, mostly to himself, as he rubbed his temples.

Alice, ever the comforting presence, patted his arm sympathetically. "Take your time, boy. You're handling it well," she said with a twinkle in her eye, clearly amused by the situation.

Kaz let out a nervous laugh, his tension palpable. "Age is not just a number if you’re a minor, y/n," he retorted, his voice betraying a mix of disbelief and mild panic. "This is serious."

Y/n shrugged casually, her playful smile widening. "Why? What's the big deal?"

Kaz stared at her incredulously, feeling like he had just stumbled into a bizarre alternate reality. "You're asking why?" He shook his head, unable to contain a nervous chuckle.

 Kaz was sure that he was the one about having an heart attack and would need Alice to leave some machines even for him.

The woman exchanged a bewildered glance with y/n, both of them bursting into laughter at the absurdity of the situation.

“I wish I had a picture of the face you made, love. I didn't just turn 18. Relax,” y/n teased affectionately.

“You're going to be the death of me,” Kaz sighed dramatically, leaning back in his chair with a mixture of amusement and relief.

“Who are you, boy?” Alice redirected her attention to Kaz, extending her hand in greeting.

“He's a friend, Grandma,” y/n answered warmly.

“Kaz Brekker, my pleasure, Miss or, well, Mrs?” Kaz replied politely, shaking Alice's hand in his gloved one.

“Alice is fine,” the woman replied with a gentle smile, studying Kaz's gloves intently.

“Are you cold?” Alice inquired, her concern evident.

“Kind of,” Kaz said, unsure of how to explain the presence of his gloves.

Alice hummed thoughtfully, her eyes lingering on Kaz for a moment longer. “Are you eating, kitty?”

“Are you?” y/n interjected playfully, teasing Alice back.

“Come on, Kitty, go to my house, check on the plants, and get a shower. You,” Alice turned towards Kaz, her expression serious yet caring, “convince her.”

Kaz's eyes widened slightly, caught off guard by Alice's directness. He quickly composed himself. “Yeah, we can go and be back in no time. I'm sure they have to run a few more exams anyway.”

“Fine,” y/n acquiesced reluctantly, glancing at Kaz for reassurance.

Kaz nodded reassuringly, offering her a small smile. 

Reluctantly, they left the hospital, making their way to Alice’s house. The cozy home was exactly as someone would imagine a grandma’s house: a haven of warmth and comfort, filled with knick-knacks, and the faint scent of lavender.

"Do you want to see her plants?" Y/n asked with a smirk, leading Kaz to a door at the back of the house.

Kaz followed, curious. When Y/n opened the door, he was greeted by rows of lush, green plants. "That's—"

"Marijuana, yes," Y/n finished for him, her smirk widening.

Kaz's eyes widened in disbelief. "That's arrest-level marijuana."

Y/n shrugged, laughter bubbling up. "She says she's too old to be put in jail."

They both burst out laughing, the heaviness of the previous days dissolving in their shared amusement. For a moment, it was just the two of them, wrapped in the absurdity of the situation and the warmth of Alice's eccentricity.

After their laughter subsided, Y/n led Kaz back to the living room. The cozy space invited them to stay a while, and they settled onto the couch. Kaz sank into the soft cushions, feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over him. Y/n curled up beside him, her head resting on his shoulder.

“This place is really something,” Kaz said, looking around at the shelves lined with porcelain figurines and the walls adorned with y/n photos as a child.

Y/n nodded, her eyes following his gaze. 

Kaz glanced down at her, seeing a hint of vulnerability in her eyes. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer. 

They sat in silence for a while, the only sounds coming from the ticking of a grandfather clock in the corner and the noise from the street. Kaz felt his eyes grow heavy, the emotional toll of the past days catching up with him.

Y/n seemed to sense his weariness. “You should rest a bit before we head back to the hospital,” she suggested, her voice gentle.

Kaz nodded, too tired to argue. He leaned back against the cushions, closing his eyes. Y/n shifted, lying down so her head was in his lap. He stroked her hair absentmindedly, feeling a sense of peace he hadn’t felt in a long time. Their fight seemed so far away he could even forget it happened.

They stayed like that for a while, dozing off in the quiet comfort of the living room. When Kaz awoke, the sun had shifted, casting a warm glow through the lace curtains. He glanced down at Y/n, who was still asleep, her breathing soft and even. 

Yet, as he watched her, a familiar pang of uncertainty crept in. They were doing it again—blurring lines, complicating their emotions, and confusing themselves more and more. Despite the peace of the moment, he couldn't shake the realization that their relationship was a delicate dance of affection and conflict. The boundaries they tried to establish always seemed to blur, leaving them in a perpetual state of ambiguity.

He didn’t want to disturb her, but they needed to get back to the hospital.

“Y/n,” he whispered, gently shaking her shoulder. “We should get going.”

She stirred, blinking up at him sleepily. “Mh?”

He smiled down at her, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “Time to wake up, love.”

Y/n stretched, yawning. “Okay, let’s go.”

They both freshened up quickly, the refreshing showers revitalizing them. Kaz found himself feeling more human, more present. They changed into fresh clothes and made their way back to the hospital.

The drive back was quieter, but the atmosphere between them had lightened considerably. Kaz reached out and took Y/n’s hand, squeezing it gently. The simple touch was reassuring, a silent promise that he wouldn't leave her side.

“How have you been while I was away?” she asked, breaking the silence.

Kaz snorted, a self-deprecating smile playing on his lips. “Not good. I’m still a bit embarrassed by the things I told you while we were, you know.”

“Having sex, Kaz, you can say it,” Y/n replied, rolling her eyes. “And don’t worry, it was just the moment. I know you don’t mean any of it.”

“Well, not all of it,” he confessed, his voice softer.

Y/n turned to look at him with a small smile while he kept his eyes on the road, one hand caressing her thigh. The comfort and normalcy they felt were unsettling, a painful reminder of what they could have if circumstances were different.

“I like having you around, Y/n,” he added after a while. “I don’t care if you think that we’re going to mess this up. I mean, how could we mess it up more than it already is?”

“You have a girlfriend, Kaz,” she reminded him gently.

“Tell me to break up with her and I will,” he said, surprising even himself with the bold statement.

“It’s not my choice to make, and I still don’t want a relationship,” she said firmly.

He parked the car and sighed, leaning back in his seat. “Can we forget this for a while? At least until we’re here,” Kaz said, cupping one of her cheeks and pulling her towards him gently, giving her the space to back away if she wanted. Y/n let him guide her, their lips finally meeting in a tender kiss. Her tongue slipped into his mouth, and he hummed, satisfied. 

“How did you—?” he began to ask when she suddenly straddled him, her laughter filling the car as she pressed her body against his, deepening the kiss. His hands found their way under her shirt, tracing the smooth contours of her back.

“Do you want to do it?” she whispered in his ear, moving her hips slowly against him.

“Here?” he asked, not entirely opposed to the idea, though he was taken aback by the bold suggestion.

Before she could answer, a sharp knock on the car window startled them both. “Come on, lovebirds, knock it off,” a security guard said, his tone half-amused, half-exasperated.

Kaz turned an interesting shade of red, while Y/n laughed and opened the door, stepping out. “Sorry, got carried away a bit,” she said, batting her eyes at the guard.

“You’d be surprised how many people I have to interrupt. What is this thing with hospitals?” the man muttered to himself, shaking his head.

“Are you staying there?” he asked Kaz, who was still in the car, trying to gather his composure.

“Yeah, uh, I need—”

“Oh, for Ghezen’s sake, just don’t make me catch you again,” the guard said, walking away while shaking his head.

Kaz got out of the car, joining Y/n. They stood there for a moment, both a little flustered but also amused by the situation. “How can you never get embarrassed?” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Y/n chuckled, linking her arm with his. “I get embarrassed, just not for wanting to have sex. There’s nothing wrong about it.”

“If you say so,” he replied, shaking his head slightly but smiling.

They settled into Alice’s room, where she immediately put them to work on her crossword puzzles. “Kitty, get down from that poor guy. He’s not going to be able to feel his legs anymore,” Alice commented, noticing Y/n had made herself comfortable on Kaz’s lap.

“It’s fine,” Kaz said, peering over her shoulder at the puzzle.

“So, what’s the deal between you two?” Alice inquired, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.

“We’re friends, I told you,” Y/n shrugged, her attention shifting to her phone where she was watching TikToks. “Oh, look at how cute this baby is,” she cooed, showing Kaz a video of a giggling infant.

Kaz made a face. “Babies are gross,” he muttered, eliciting a laugh from Y/n.

“Friends, huh?” Alice remarked slyly. “And did someone tell you that you’re only friends?”

“Grandma!” Y/n exclaimed.

“I’ll mind my own business,” Alice said, laughing to herself.

“See? Even she thinks we should try it,” Kaz whispered in Y/n’s ear, leaning back and making her lay more comfortably against his chest.

“Shut up and look at this cat,” Y/n retorted, showing him another TikTok.

Kaz chuckled, the warmth of their playful banter wrapping around them like a comforting blanket. Despite the complexities of their relationship, moments like these made everything else fade into the background.

Every now and then, Y/n would shift, adjusting her position on Kaz's lap, and he would wrap his arms around her more securely. They fell into a comfortable rhythm, their interactions natural and effortless.

That night, Y/n fell asleep in one of the chairs outside Alice’s room, her head resting uncomfortably against the wall. Kaz, however, was too restless to sleep. The hospital chair dug into his back, and the sterile lights made it impossible to find any real comfort. Around 3 a.m., he noticed movement from Alice’s room and saw her trying to sneak out. He raised a brow, his curiosity piqued.

Alice caught his eye and then glanced at her sleeping niece. “Come on, let’s go take some fresh air,” she whispered.

“Alice, I don’t think you should—”

“I’m going. Will you explain to her why you left me alone, or should I?” Alice shot back, a mischievous glint in her eye.

Kaz sighed. Was being annoyingly stubborn a genetic trait? He stood up and followed her as they made their way to a door that led to a balcony. “It’s locked,” Kaz commented, testing the handle.

“Then open it, boy,” Alice sighed, clearly unimpressed.

Kaz debated whether to comply, but he realized she’d probably find another way to escape. Better to accompany her than let her wander off alone. He quickly picked the lock, and they stepped outside into the cool night air.

“I saw you kissing earlier,” Alice said, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, um,” Kaz stammered, caught off guard.

“You know, Kitty is really good at telling lies—especially to herself,” Alice remarked, her voice softening. “It’s complicated,” he whispered, the weight of the situation pressing down on him.

“Where’s the fun if it’s not?” she replied, studying him intently. “Are you in love with her?”

Kaz hesitated, the unexpected question throwing him off balance. He struggled to find the right words.

“She’s going to get scared and push you away,” Alice continued, sensing his turmoil.

“She already did,” he admitted. “We weren’t talking to each other before I got here.”

Kaz thought about the past few days, his phone having been off since he arrived. Inej and Jesper were probably worried sick. For a moment, he was tempted to turn it on, but he knew that doing so would mean facing a barrage of messages and difficult conversations. What was one more day?

Alice sighed, leaning against the balcony railing. “You know, life is too short to waste on complications. Sometimes you just have to take the leap, no matter how scary it is.”

Kaz nodded, her words resonating deeply within him. He looked out at the city lights, the quiet hum of the hospital a soothing backdrop to his chaotic thoughts. “You should say that to her too.”

Alice smiled gently. “You have to be honest with yourself first. Can you accept her job?”

The million-kruge-question. Kaz felt a knot tighten in his stomach. He hesitated, then decided to ask, “How did you accept it?”

Alice chuckled softly, reminiscing. “Oh, it wasn’t easy. Nearly gave me a heart attack when she told me about her decision. But she’s comfortable with it, assures me that she’s safe, and she sends me her check-ups every month.”

Kaz nodded, appreciating Alice’s candidness. Trying to lighten the mood, he added, “Oh yeah, she always uses protection.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he cursed himself internally. Why would he say something like that to her grandma?

Alice raised a brow, her amusement evident. “And how do you know that, boy?”

Kaz cleared his throat, attempting to sound convincing. “She… told me.”

The woman chuckled, clearly not believing him. “If you want her, don’t let her take control. Steer her your way, guide her to you, small steps. Don’t ask her to make a decision suddenly, she’s going to run away.”

Kaz nodded, absorbing her advice. He stared at the view, the city lights blurring as his mind raced. Alice's words swirled in his head, mingling with his fears and hopes. Here he was, taking relationship advice from Y/n’s grandmother, while still technically in a relationship himself. 

They stood in silence for a while, the cool night air wrapping around them. Alice patted his arm. “Remember, Kaz. Patience and persistence. If you truly care for her, show her that you’re willing to be there, no matter how complicated things get.”

Kaz took a deep breath, feeling a mixture of determination and anxiety swirling within him. “I have a girlfriend,” he blurted out suddenly, the words escaping before he could stop them.

Alice didn’t seem perturbed by his confession. She regarded him calmly, her eyes soft with understanding. “And Y/n doesn’t want a serious relationship,” he added hastily, his mouth seemingly disconnected from his brain, which was screaming at him to shut up.

Alice remained composed, her expression unchanged. She took a moment before responding, her voice gentle yet firm. “Feelings evolve, circumstances change,” she said, her words carrying the weight of experience. “If it’s meant to be, then it will be. If it’s not, then it won’t. Don’t force things, with neither of them.”

Kaz nodded slowly, grateful for Alice’s wisdom even as he struggled to reconcile his emotions. Her words echoed the doubts and fears he had been grappling with—about relationships, about his own desires, about the uncertainties of the future.

“Trust in the journey, Kaz,” Alice continued, her tone reassuring. “Sometimes, the best thing we can do is allow things to unfold naturally, without trying to control the outcome.”

Kaz took a deep breath, absorbing her advice. It was both comforting and challenging—to relinquish control, to trust in the unknown. But he knew deep down that Alice was right. He couldn’t force Y/n into something she wasn’t ready for, and he couldn’t ignore the truth of his own heart.

“Let’s get back inside before they send a search party.”

Back in the waiting room, Y/n was still asleep, curled up in the chair. Kaz carefully adjusted her position, ensuring she was comfortable. Alice gave him a knowing look before settling back into her bed.

Days went by, and they spent them in a routine that became surprisingly comforting. They moved between Alice’s room, her house, and the hospital cafeteria, finding solace in each other’s company amidst the uncertainty. Alice underwent various exams, and while they waited, Kaz and Y/n often found themselves outside in the uncomfortable chairs, trying to pass the time.

One afternoon, Y/n was engrossed in one of her fairy porn books, the kind that always made Kaz raise an eyebrow. After a while, he couldn’t help but ask, “How can you read these things?”

Y/n glanced up, a mischievous glint in her eye. “It’s fun.”

Kaz shook his head, feigning disbelief. “It’s weird.”

“Then don’t read them,” she retorted, turning a page.

“I want to know how it ends,” he admitted, a small smile tugging at his lips.

She turned to him with a smile, the playful banter lightening the heavy atmosphere. He felt a sudden urge to kiss her, to bridge the small gap between them, but he hesitated, the complexities of their situation weighing on him. Before he could second-guess himself further, Y/n leaned in and left a small, soft kiss on his lips, then casually went back to her book as if nothing had happened.

Kaz’s heart raced, the simple gesture leaving him both elated and confused. The kiss was brief but charged with unspoken emotion, a silent acknowledgment of their growing bond. He watched her for a moment, her focus seemingly back on her book, but he knew she felt it too—the undeniable connection between them.

They continued to spend their days like this, finding comfort in their shared moments despite the complications looming over them. Kaz couldn’t help but notice how natural it felt to be with Y/n, how her presence made the hospital’s sterile environment feel almost homely. They laughed together, shared meals, and sometimes just sat in silence, each lost in their own thoughts yet deeply aware of the other’s presence.

***

Finally, Alice was cleared to go home. Despite their protests, she insisted on calling a friend to take her, wanting to give Kaz and Y/n some space. As she left, she gave them a knowing smile and a gentle reminder to cherish their time together.

Kaz and Y/n were sitting in his car, the engine idling softly. Kaz had only one thing on his mind, the thought he had been forcing himself to ignore for days: Now what?

“I still have a few days off work,” he said, glancing at her and waiting for her reaction.

“So?” she replied, looking at him with a raised eyebrow, a playful challenge in her eyes.

Yeah, he thought, so?

He started driving, letting her put on some music. The familiar tunes filled the car, creating a comfortable backdrop to their thoughts. Every now and then, Y/n would lean towards him to let him take a drag from her vape, the small, intimate gesture deepening their silent connection.

“Where are we going?” she asked after a while, looking around curiously as the scenery shifted from urban to suburban.

“Supermarket,” he replied nonchalantly.

“Why?” she laughed, surprised by the sudden change in plans.

“You’re making dinner,” he said, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

“Am I now?” she teased, her laughter infectious.

“Yep,” he affirmed, his tone light but his eyes serious.

They arrived at the supermarket, the fluorescent lights casting a harsh glow over the parking lot. Inside, they wandered through the aisles, the mundane task of grocery shopping feeling strangely intimate. Kaz watched as Y/n picked out ingredients, her movements confident and assured. He found himself drawn to her even more, captivated by the ease with which she moved through life, her independence and strength shining through in these simple moments.

“Please, Kaz, let me do it,” Y/n kept begging in his ear, her tone a mix of playful and insistent. She nipped at his earlobe, her breath warm against his skin.

“I don’t want to,” he laughed nervously, though the glint in his eyes betrayed his amusement. His fingers twitched as he fought the urge to touch her.

“Come on, I swear I’m really good,” she teased, her lips brushing against his ear, sending shivers down his spine. Her words hung in the air, filled with a promise that made his pulse quicken.

“I have absolutely no doubts about that,” he responded, his voice a little breathless. The room felt smaller, the air charged with a tension that was both exhilarating and terrifying.

Y/n got on her knees in front of him while he was seated on the couch, her eyes wide and pleading. The sight of her there, looking up at him with such intensity, made his heart race. “Please.”

“You’re not ashamed of anything, are you?” he asked, half in awe, half in disbelief. He could barely comprehend her boldness, so different from the guarded world he was used to.

“Absolutely not,” she replied confidently. Her hands rested lightly on his knees, her touch sending electric sparks through his body.

Kaz made a crooked smile, giving in just a little, pulling her back up on top of him. He wrapped his arms around her, feeling the warmth of her body against his. “I prefer you up here,” he murmured against her lips, his hands tracing the curve of her back, memorizing every contour.

“Only because you don’t know how good I am down there,” she said playfully, arching her neck to give him better access for a kiss. Her lips met his with a softness that made him forget everything else, the world outside their bubble disappearing.

Her words lingered in his mind, tempting and daring him to let go of his reservations. He deepened the kiss, his hands tangling in her hair, pulling her closer as if afraid she might vanish. The taste of her, the feel of her, was intoxicating, making it hard to think clearly.

For a moment, all he could think about was her – the way she felt in his arms, the sound of her breath mingling with his. The rational part of his mind screamed at him to stop, to remember the complications and the consequences, but he silenced it, letting himself get lost in the moment.

The sudden sound of the door opening shattered their intimacy. They barely had time to react before Jesper burst in, anger and worry evident in his voice. “Kaz! Where the fuck have you been?”

Kaz and Y/n froze, their faces reflecting the guilt of being caught so red-handed. They knew there was no point in trying to move away from each other. Jesper’s eyes widened further as he registered her presence in Kaz's living room, his shock palpable. “Y/n? What the hell are you doing here?” he blurted out, his voice a mix of disbelief and frustration.

“You disappeared for fucking days! I can’t believe you’re with her,” Jesper said in disbelief. “Inej is worried sick, Kaz, and so was I.”

Y/n moved off Kaz’s lap, letting him stand up. Kaz faced Jesper, trying to maintain his composure. “I was in Lij. I had a family thing to fix,” he said confidently. “I just got back.”

Jesper shook his head, incredulous. “And the first person you tell is obviously her? Not your friends, not your girlfriend?” he shot back, his voice dripping with accusation. He glanced between Kaz and Y/n, confusion etched on his face.

Kaz hesitated, caught off guard by Jesper’s directness. Y/n shifted uncomfortably under Jesper’s scrutinizing gaze, unsure of how to explain her presence without making matters worse.

“I…” Kaz started, searching for an explanation that wouldn’t betray the complexities of their situation.

Jesper’s frustration grew, his disbelief evident. “You were just what? Kaz, what the hell is going on here?” he demanded, his tone cutting through the tense silence.

“I didn’t think you’d be so worried, and I haven’t talked to Inej in days. She asked for space, and I gave it to her,” Kaz explained, though it was clear Jesper wasn’t entirely convinced.

“I can go if you have to talk,” Y/n offered gently, trying to defuse the situation. Jesper glared at her, but Kaz spoke first, “No, don’t worry.”

“Of course, Y/n, don’t worry. So as soon as I leave, he can keep cheating on his girlfriend,” Jesper said harshly. “Or wasn’t that what I just interrupted? Are you sleeping together?”

“No, Jesper. It was… just a kiss,” Kaz lied, his voice strained.

“Oh, then everything is alright, just a kiss. Where’s the line, Kaz?” Jesper’s sarcasm was palpable.

“It’s none of your business, Jes,” Kaz said, his patience wearing thin.

“It is if you’re hurting my friend.”

Kaz inhaled deeply, trying to steady himself. “You want to know what happened with Inej?” he asked, releasing a nervous chuckle. “She said that she was with me because she thought I would never be able to touch her.”

Jesper’s surprise was evident, his anger momentarily replaced by shock. “Yeah, I bet she didn’t tell you that,” Kaz said more quietly, shaking his head.

“That’s fucked up, but it still doesn’t give you the right to cheat on her,” Jesper retorted, though his voice was less confident now.

“I’m not even sure if we’re still together anymore,” Kaz confessed.

“Look, I’m sorry, Kaz, but you can’t behave like this,” Jesper said, his tone softening.

“I need a drink,” Kaz sighed, moving towards the kitchen. He made three drinks and brought them back, handing one to Jesper and another to Y/n.

The three of them sat uncomfortably on the couch, sipping their drinks in silence. The atmosphere was heavy with unresolved tension, each sip of their drinks punctuated by the awkwardness that filled the room. Jesper’s eyes darted between Kaz and Y/n, his expression a mix of concern and confusion. He couldn’t help but notice how she had curled up next to Kaz, her body instinctively seeking comfort in his presence despite the situation. Kaz, for his part, seemed lost in thought, absentmindedly playing with a strand of her hair as he stared blankly at the wall.

Y/n shifted slightly, feeling Jesper’s gaze on her. 

“Oh, you have a lash on your cheek,” Y/n said, her voice a tentative attempt to lighten the heavy atmosphere that hung around them. She reached out, her touch gentle as she plucked the lash away from Kaz’s cheek. “Make a wish,” she instructed softly, holding it delicately on her fingertip.

Kaz raised an eyebrow, a faint smirk playing at the corner of his lips despite the tension in the room. “Come on, it’s bad luck if you don’t,” Y/n insisted, a small smile tugging at her own lips.

He leaned in unexpectedly, catching her off guard by biting her finger lightly instead of making a wish. Y/n let out a surprised laugh, pulling her hand back instinctively. Kaz’s arm slid around her waist, drawing her close against his side, a subtle gesture that spoke volumes about their connection.

Jesper watched the exchange with a mixture of surprise and bewilderment. His brow furrowed slightly as he tried to process the dynamics unfolding before him. Despite the tension and the serious conversation that had preceded this moment, Kaz and Y/n seemed to share a natural ease with each other, a comfort that was palpable even in the midst of their turmoil.

“That was uncalled for,” Y/n chuckled, trying to regain her composure after Kaz’s unexpected move. 

Her phone started buzzing, and she excused herself to another room to take the call. Jesper watched her leave before turning back to Kaz.

“You know what really makes me mad?” Jesper asked, breaking the silence. “It’s that you two look really good together.”

Kaz nodded, a small, bittersweet smile forming on his lips. Despite everything, he knew there wasn’t going to be a ‘them.’

Kaz sighed heavily, he knew there was no hiding it now, not after Jesper had caught them in such compromising proximity.

“Give her a chance, Jes,” Kaz pleaded, his voice carrying a mixture of regret and earnestness. “Me and Inej… I won’t be able to patch things up after what she told me.” His words trailed off, the pain of Inej’s revelation still fresh in his mind. “And Y/n is not the one to blame,” he added quietly, his gaze dropping to the floor. “I was the one in a relationship, not her.”

Jesper’s expression hardened, a mix of disappointment and understanding crossing his features. He ran a hand through his hair, a gesture of frustration and resignation. “I don't like her.”

“You don't like her or you don't like how I handled things?” Kaz asked, his voice tinged with a desperate need for clarity.

Jesper looked at him, the tension between them palpable. “Yeah, maybe I don't like you,” he said, trying to lighten the mood but failing to hide the seriousness in his tone. “But in all honesty, Kaz, it's more about how you handled things. You should have been honest with Inej from the start.”

Kaz nodded, his face reflecting the inner turmoil he felt. “I know, Jes. I didn’t plan for any of this to happen. I have no idea of when the things started to become different.”

Jesper sighed deeply, his frustration evident. “It’s always complicated with you, Kaz. But this...this is different.”

Kaz looked up, meeting Jesper’s gaze with a mixture of determination and guilt. “I never wanted to hurt anyone, Jes. Inej...what she told me. I was wrong to let things go this far without addressing it.”

Jesper’s expression softened slightly, though his frustration remained. “You owe it to both of them to be honest about your feelings and your intentions.”

Kaz nodded, his jaw clenched as he wrestled with the ramifications of his actions. “I know, and I will. But Y/n...she’s not just a fling, Jes. She means something to me.”

Jesper’s eyes widened in surprise. “So, you’re saying you have feelings for her?”

Kaz hesitated, the admission feeling heavier than he anticipated. “Yes, I do. But I also know that she’s not looking for a serious relationship. It’s complicated.”

Jesper shook his head, a mixture of disbelief and resignation on his face. “Complicated seems to be your specialty, Kaz. But you need to sort this out. You can’t keep stringing them along, it’s not fair to anyone.”

Kaz sighed, the weight of Jesper’s words settling heavily on him. “I know. I need to talk to Inej and figure out where we stand.”

Jesper nodded, his expression still stern but softened by a hint of empathy. “Good. Because if you care about them, you owe it to them to be truthful. And to yourself too.”

Kaz looked at Jesper, gratitude and guilt mingling in his eyes. “Thanks, Jes. I appreciate it.”

Jesper nodded, his tension easing slightly. “Just...don’t make a habit of this, Kaz. You’re a smart guy, but sometimes you’re your own worst enemy.”

Kaz chuckled, though the sound was tinged with sadness. “You’re not wrong about that.”

They fell into an uneasy silence, the weight of the conversation lingering in the air. Kaz knew he had a long road ahead to make things right, but for the first time, he felt a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, he could find a way through the mess he had created.

After Jesper left, the air in the room felt thick with the residue of their intense conversation. Kaz and Y/n settled back on the couch, the tension slowly ebbing away.

“Kaz, if you want me to go,” she began, her eyes searching his, filled with concern and uncertainty.

“Stay,” he replied firmly, his voice leaving no room for argument.

“Can we go to bed? I'm starting to feel all those nights on the hospital chairs,” she sighed, stretching her arms and stifling a yawn.

Kaz nodded, and they made their way to his bedroom. The act of changing clothes and sliding into bed felt almost ritualistic, a comforting routine in the midst of their emotional chaos. They lay on their sides, facing each other, the intimacy of the moment both soothing and unsettling.

“I have to work tomorrow,” Y/n said gently, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Anything interesting?” Kaz asked, his fingers tracing small patterns on the sheet between them.

“Nah,” she replied, shaking her head slightly.

Kaz pulled her closer, the need for physical closeness overpowering his usual reluctance. Her warmth seeped into him, grounding him in the moment.

“How do you feel?” she asked softly, her fingers brushing against his cheek in a tender gesture.

“Overwhelmed,” he sighed, leaning into her touch, his eyes closing briefly as he savored the comfort she offered.

“Is there something I can do?” she asked, her voice filled with genuine concern.

“Can you break up with my girlfriend?” he chuckled dryly, a hint of bitterness lacing his words.

Y/n hesitated, the gravity of his statement sinking in. “You’ve decided to do it?” she asked, her voice cautious.

“Yes, I have to,” he admitted, his eyes meeting hers with a mixture of determination and regret. “It's the only way to move forward. I can’t keep living like this, hurting everyone involved.”

She nodded, understanding the weight of his decision. “It’s not going to be easy.”

“I know,” Kaz replied, his voice firm. “But it’s the right thing to do.”

They lay in silence for a while, the quiet punctuated by the soft sound of their breathing. Kaz’s mind raced with thoughts of how to approach Inej, how to explain everything without causing more pain. He knew it would be a delicate conversation, one fraught with emotion and complexity. But he also knew it was necessary.

“And then what?” Y/n asked, her voice barely above a whisper, breaking the silence.

“You know what I want,” he admitted, his eyes locking onto hers with a mixture of hope and vulnerability.

“I can’t give you that right now,” she said softly, her gaze steady but tinged with regret.

“I’ll take what you can,” Kaz replied, his tone resolute. 

“It’s not fair, Kaz.”

“You told me you’re not a nice person,” he said, a faint smile playing on his lips. “Are you going to start now?”

She sighed, feeling the weight of his words. 

“I tried to have the perfect relationship,” he continued, his voice tinged with bitterness and resignation. “It blew up in my face. So whatever mess you’re down for, I’m in.”

She looked at him, seeing the raw honesty in his eyes. The Kaz she knew was always calculating, always had a plan. But here he was, laying his heart bare, willing to dive into the unknown with her.

“Kaz, I don’t want to hurt you,” she said, her voice cracking slightly.

“I know,” he replied, his thumb brushing gently across her cheek. “And I don’t want to hurt you. But we’re already in this. We can’t pretend it’s not happening.”

Y/n closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. The logical part of her knew he was right, but her emotions were a tangled web of fear, desire, and uncertainty.

“No expectations, no promises.” she said, opening her eyes to meet his gaze. 

Kaz nodded, his expression softening.

They stayed like that for a while, holding each other in the dark of the room. The enormity of the decisions they were making weighed heavily on them. Despite the gravity of their situation, the warmth of their closeness offered a fleeting sense of peace.

y/n kept shifting, pressing her back on his chest, restless. “Fuck, I was so horny. Damn Jesper,” she whispered, annoyance tinging her voice.

Kaz snorted, grateful for the lightness she brought into the moment. “Yeah, this wasn’t exactly how I imagined our evening.”

“Mh, let me hear what you were thinking about,” she teased, a mischievous glint in her eye.

Kaz smirked, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on her stomach. “Well, for starters, I didn’t plan on being interrupted,” he said, his voice low and intimate. 

“Go on,” she encouraged, her interest piqued.

“I imagined us taking our time. Maybe having a few drinks, and then...” he trailed off, his eyes darkening with desire as he recalled the thoughts that had been running through his mind.

“And then?” she prompted, her breath hitching slightly as his words stirred something deep within her.

“And then, we’d end up back here,” he continued, his voice husky. “But instead of talking about all this heavy stuff, we’d be... exploring each other. Slowly, thoroughly.”

Y/n’s eyes sparkled with anticipation, pressing more into him. “Sounds like a good plan.”

Kaz chuckled softly, his lips brushing against her neck. “Yeah, but there’s always tomorrow,” he murmured, his voice full of promise.

“Tomorrow? How am I going to sleep now?” she protested, a playful whine in her voice.

Kaz's chuckle deepened, his breath warm against her skin. “Well, maybe there’s something we could do,” he suggested, his hips pressing on her ass. Y/n shivered at his touch, her body responding eagerly to his nearness.

“I like it when you’re not shy,” she whispered, her voice filled with anticipation.

“It’s all your fault. You make me forget how to think,” he said between kisses on her neck. His hand made its way between her legs, eliciting a soft moan from her. “How can you be so wet?” he hummed in satisfaction.

“I like dirty talking,” she admitted, her breath hitching as his fingers teased her.

“I barely said anything,” he laughed, clearly pleased with her response.

“I like you telling me finally what you want,” she clarified, her eyes half-closed in pleasure.

He started moving his hand and his hips, slowly teasing her, building the tension. “I know what you’re thinking, love,” she said after a while, her voice a mix of desire and amusement. “The answer is no.”

Kaz hummed, clearly annoyed. “But it would be so easy to just slip it in,” he murmured, his voice low and tempting.

“Look at you, having sex twice and already asking to do it without protection. You’re such a man,” she said with a small laugh, though her own need was evident.

“You’re on birth control,” he whined weakly, his voice almost a plea. “Please, love.” He pressed his forehead against her shoulder. “I just want to feel you, all of you.”

Y/n sighed, her resolve wavering but not yet broken. “Kaz,-” She arched her back, a soft hum escaping her lips. The way he moved against her, the feel of his fingers inside her, was making it hard to refuse. 

“Please, Y/n. I need you.” he whispered, his voice tinged with desperation. 

“Begging, Kaz? Really?” Her tone teasing.

“You'll make me shameless as you are, I don’t care about anything else right now. Please, just this once. Let me have all of you.”

“Fine,” she finally whispered, her resolve melting away.

Kaz didn't need any further encouragement. He shifted, aligning himself with her, and slowly, carefully, he pushed inside her. The sensation was overwhelming, raw, and intimate. They moved together in a rhythm that was both desperate and tender.

Her moans were mingling with his groans. The intensity of their passion was almost too much to bear, every touch, every kiss, driving them closer to the edge.

“Fuck, you feel amazing,” Kaz breathed, his lips brushing against her ear. His voice was ragged, filled with raw desire.

“Baby, let me lay on my stomach,” Y/n urged, her body arching against his in anticipation. She moved to change positions, her eyes locking onto his. “Do you want it sweet or rough?” she asked with a grin, her tone playful yet seductive.

Kaz stood puzzled by the question, the familiar embarrassment regarding his inexperience creeping in. He hesitated, unsure how to respond, his cheeks flushing slightly.

“Sweet it is,” she decided, sensing his discomfort and wanting to ease his tension. She lay down, raising her hips invitingly. “Come here, lay on me,” she encouraged, her voice soft and reassuring.

Kaz followed her lead, positioning himself over her, his body pressing against hers. Y/n guided his hand to her lower abdomen, her touch gentle yet firm. “Now take this hand, and press here,” she instructed, her voice a mix of authority and affection.

He did as she said, pressing his hand where she indicated, feeling the tautness of her muscles beneath his palm. “Move,” she instructed him, her voice breathy with anticipation.

Kaz began to move, his thrusts slow and deliberate. The sensation was overwhelming, every nerve ending ignited with pleasure. He could feel himself going deeper, the pressure of his hand adding a new dimension to their intimacy. The feeling of being so connected, of feeling himself under his hand, was almost too much to bear.

Kaz hissed against her hair, his breath hot and uneven. “Oh, I’m not going to last, love,” he admitted, his voice strained with the intensity of his desire.

Y/n turned her head slightly, her lips brushing against his cheek. “It’s okay,” she whispered, her voice a soothing balm to his frazzled nerves. “Just let go.”

Encouraged by her words, Kaz allowed himself to lose control, his movements becoming more urgent. Each thrust was a declaration of his need for her, his desire to be as close as possible. Y/n’s soft moans spurred him on, her body responding to his every touch.

Their connection deepened with each passing moment, the world outside their embrace fading away. It was just them, lost in the rhythm of their shared pleasure. Kaz’s hand pressed firmly against her abdomen, grounding him in the here and now, his other hand tangled in her hair.

“Y/n,” he groaned, his voice a mix of desperation and ecstasy. “I'm so close”

“Let go, Kaz,” she urged, her own voice tinged with urgency.

With a final thrust, Kaz obeyed, his release crashing over him like a tidal wave. He buried his face in her hair, his body trembling with the force of his climax, her own pleasure evident in the way she tightened around him, her breathy moans music to his ears.

They lay like that for a while, their bodies entwined, their breaths mingling in the quiet of the room. The enormity of their connection, the intensity of their shared experience, left them both breathless and satisfied.

As they slowly came down from their high, Kaz pressed a gentle kiss to her shoulder, lingering as if to imprint the moment in his memory. Y/n shifted to look at him, her eyes soft and filled with affection, studying his face. There was a tenderness in her gaze, a silent communication that passed between them.

“Don’t say it, Kaz. It’s not true,” she murmured, her voice gentle but firm.

He sighed, slightly embarrassed. “Was it so evident?”

“Yes,” she replied with a soft smile, her fingers tracing patterns on his chest. She could see the conflict in his eyes, the struggle between his burgeoning feelings and the reality of their situation. 

He nodded, appreciating her understanding. The vulnerability he felt in her presence was both terrifying and liberating. She had a way of seeing through his walls, of touching the parts of him he kept hidden from the world.

“Are you going to be able to sleep now?” he asked, his voice teasing as he tried to lighten the mood.

“Yes,” she replied, snuggling closer to him. Her body fit perfectly against his, a warm and reassuring presence. She rested her head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. 

Kaz wrapped his arms around her, pulling her even closer. The comfort of her weight against him, the softness of her skin, it all felt so right. “Good,” he murmured, pressing another kiss to the top of her head.

[ynbabe]

Fake texts au- pt.9 bffs with the rookies+ The Hangover II

| Masterlist |

"WHAT THE FUCK!" the boy's Australian accent echoed throughout the room, making the employees stare at the group of seven.

"What the hell did you guys do? Zak's texting me about it because you aren't picking up your phone." His older teammate explained making everyone stare at the usually timid boy.

He patted his jeans and hoodie, "I can't find my phone, do one of you have it?" He asked his friends making the three check around but finding nothing, "Call Alex he's still in the room, maybe I've left it there." He said making Y/n reach for the phone but finding nothing, Arthur and Logan, checked for theirs but did not find them either.

"What the fuck?" Y/n asked, "Where are all our phones?" She looked at the older men for answers.

Max and Charles looked disappointed and Lando looked like all his prayers had been answered, "Finally, I'm not the irresponsible kid of the grid!" He exclaimed gleefully making the four shoot glares at him, Oscar most annoyed of all, threw his table napkin at his teammate.

"Wait, Oscar, what's on your hand?" Max asked, reaching out to hold the younger boy's hand, pushing the sleeve of his hoodie up to reveal a haphazardly placed blue stamp. "Seriously, y'all went to-" Max expressed his disbelief as the others rolled up their sleeves to find the same stamp.

"Who let you guys in? You can't get in without a sponsor?" Max asked.

"of course, you'd know about a club like that," Charles remarked, making Lando laugh and nudge his friend and Max rolled his eyes at the antics of the two men sitting on either side of him.

"Wait, fuck, I remember- My friend got us in," Y/n spoke up, getting flashbacks of the night before.

"Of course," Arthur began but then remembered a memory of his own, "Oh my god, we went to the hospital too, 'cause I fell... from somewhere," he groaned.

"Did we go to the zoo? why do I have so many scratches?" Oscar complained, looking at his arms.

"Oh my god, Y/n look at your face!" Logan whisper-yelled, making everyone stare at the young woman.

"Wha- rude!" she said but pulled Lando's phone out of his hand, turning on the camera. "WHAT THE FUCK!" she screeched, touching her nose, which was turning black and blue, much like the bruises on Arthur and Logan.

Arthur poked at her eyebrow making her hiss, as she swatted his hand away, "What the fuck even happened?" she asked and looked around, passing the phone back to Lando.

"Okay, okay, wait, timeline time," Oscar said, making everyone turn to him.

"Like the Hangover?" Logan asked, "Exactly," his friend replied.

"Okay, so, we were in the club till midnight," Arthur began.

"Then we went out to get food to McDonalds, till like 1, I think," Logan continued.

"And then we went to my club," Y/n said, with a look of regret.

"That's where you all lost your phones," Max said, making everyone look at him for an explanation, "they take people's phones away so people can have privacy." The Dutchman shrugged.

"Wait but didn't we call you?" Y/n asked.

"Yes, from Lando's phone,"

"Lando, you were there the whole time!?" Oscar yelled, looking at his teammate accusingly,

"I so wasn't," he yelled back, I was at the club with Carlos," he said.

"oh okay, yeah, that explains it," Y/n shrugged,

"Anyways, I met, the four of you while going home, but you all DRAGGED me to where you all were going," He continued, "Y/n and Arthur already had a hospital band around their wrists, I think maybe that's where the 20k went,"

"Fucking American healthcare," Y/n exhaled as she touched her nose again.

"And you all stole my phone and called Max like a Billion times, and then Max and Charles got there and Arthur and Logan began climbing a fucking building and Oscar and y/n kept going onto the road."

Everyone looked at him dumbfounded, finally the only reaction was Arthur running out of the room to throw up.

"Lightweight," Y/n and logan said at the same time, laughing after they realised.

"Uh, Y/n," Charles called out to the girl, scrolling on his phone, "Did you post on your account, last night?

"FUUUUCK"

we are scandalingggggggg, next is the last chapter of the Hangover saga 😥 kinda sad but I've got a lot planned for later!

But what do you guys prefer? Writing, Insta-styled posts or fake texts? or a combination of all three?

Taglist: @dark-night-sky-99 @cashtons-wife @i-wish-this-was-me @thehufflepuffavenger1 @eugene-emt-roe @fangirl-dot-com

[thus-spoke-lo]

A Hayride for a Hayride // slimeball Taxi Driver!Zoro x afab!reader // NSFW/18+ Written for @bastardblvd's House of Slimy Horrors Collab

Synopsis: Your date to the Grimetown Halloween festival cancelled on you last-minute, leaving you with nothing to do. Luckily, a certain moss-haired taxi driver lifeguard hayride operator offers you a free ride to get your mind off things, and you're soon in for the ride of your life. CW: slimeball au; afab!reader; no pronouns used for reader; mild action violence; vaginal fingering; unprotected vaginal intercourse; mild degradation WC: 5.4k // Fictober Masterlist

The sun descends in the evening sky over Grimetown, glowing through the permanent haze that hangs over the city and painting the landscape in tangerines and golds. You make your way around the festival grounds, sipping at something that tastes close enough to apple cider—you know better than to ask too many questions about the contents of beverages around here. The autumn leaves crunch under your boots as you traipse around, stopping to watch a fistfight that appears to be the result of a rigged pumpkin pie-eating contest—you’re rooting for the guy in the McDonald’s uniform.

The smell of all things greasy and sweet lures you towards the food stalls, and you almost consider trying the rat on a stick (rat isn’t in quotation marks but it’s gotta be a joke…they wouldn’t, would they?) when a noodly blonde man with a curly eyebrow poking out from his mop of blonde hair leans over the counter of the Flapjack Shack’s stall and begins to explain the complicated history of the humble omelet to you in between thinly-veiled innuendos. You nod and smile and wait for another customer to walk by in order to make your escape, plunking down at the edge of a fountain in the middle of the square, thick, white, foamy substance sloppily bubbling away inside. You would think they would have dyed the goopy substance green or something given the occasion, and you run a finger through the viscous liquid, wondering why the texture feels awfully familiar.

A sudden buzzing in your pocket pulls you away from thinking too hard about what you just dipped your hand into, but a quick glance at the message preview sends your fluttering heart right into a meat grinder.

[Soggy Man]: I’m still stuck at work, I’m so sorry. I don’t think I’ll make it tonight.

[You]: Yuuta noooo ☹ how come you’re stuck? Aren’t you closed?

[Soggy Man]: last minute customer came by for an inspection

“An inspection?” you mutter, narrowing your eyes as though he’d feel your questioning glance through the screen.

[You]: I thought you only did those in the morning

[Soggy Man]: well you know how it is, sometimes I have to make exceptions

You wonder if this is the type of exception that all DMV employees were inclined to give, or if it’s more like the exception he made to waive your registration renewal fee when you offered to blow him behind the counter after hours. Either way, this isn’t exactly the best way to start off your attempt at a real first date, not after weeks of back and forth, navigating your ever-changing shifts at the coffee shop, and his abrupt late-night work hours.

[You]: No worries! I understand!

[Soggy Man]:  I’m sorry cutie, hope you have fun without me

[You]: it’s ok! I know how to entertain myself.

[You]: we’ll try again some other time!

“Well, shit.” You shove your phone back into your pocket with a sigh that turns into a groan that turns into a momentary existential crisis—this was the seventh first date you’d tried to set up recently, and the sixth first date where you got ghosted before ever getting to try to disappoint them in person. Not waiting to see if Yuuta has anything else to add, you wander off, glancing around the packed festival in search of something—anything—to occupy your unexpected free time.

As you pass the shoddily assembled Ferris wheel, watching it shimmy with every rotation, threatening to come unbolted and roll away at any moment, a light fog starts to accumulate at your feet. It stinks, and not like how you remember fog machines to smell from your glory days as a stagehand at the Grimetown Community Theater; no, this is thick, and pungent, and a little nauseating. You walk deeper into the foul-smelling haze, and glance down to see the cause—a stubbed-out cigar rolls towards your feet, a few stray embers spraying out across the dirt.

“You alright, honey?” a low voice rumbles from just beyond the dissipating vapors. “You look like something’s wrong.”

You cough and sputter, waving your hand in front of you to clear the remaining cloud of smoke and see a man with green hair and a tanned complexion standing with his back against a wooden wagon, his extraordinarily muscled arms crossed over his broad chest, a thin white t-shirt straining to contain his brawny form. Three gold earring jingle softly as he cocks his head to examine you with his one good eye, and you wonder if the scar over his other eye is real or fabricated for the occasion.

“I’m fine, thanks,” you fib, stuffing your hands in your pockets as you stroll towards him. The last thing you want right now is some burly stranger trying to play therapist when what would actually solve your problems is guzzling pumpkin-spice flavored alcohol and stuffing your face with candy apples, then passing out in that weird gloopy fountain ‘til sunrise.

“Come on now.” He raises an eyebrow and gives you a pitying grin. “You sure you’re okay?”

You kick at the ground with the toe of your boot and huff a sigh. “Fine. I, uh—I got stood up.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Dude texted me after I already got here saying he couldn’t come, and I don’t want to waste my ticket, so now I’m just kinda in limbo and not really sure what to do.”

“Pretty thing like you gettin’ stood up on a nice night like this?” He gestured towards the darkened sky, the moon covered in a dense mess of clouds, silver beams poking through and illuminating the space between you. “It’s a damned shame.”

“Tell me about it,” you chuckle in agreement.

“You know,” he says, running his tongue over his lower lip, “I’m technically supposed to wait until there’s a big group before I head out, but—I could give you a ride. A private one.”

“A private ride, huh?” You inhale sharply through your teeth and your eyes flit over his muscled form. A private ride with some grimy eye candy doesn’t sound like a bad way to recover from a hefty blow to your ego. “How much is it?”

“It’s free. Comes with your ticket.”

“You know what? Sure, why the hell not?”

“That’s what I hoped you’d say,” he grins, giving an exaggerated wink. “Don’t you worry—I’ll make you forget all about that loser.”

You head towards the back of the wagon, expecting there to be a step to hoist yourself inside, when a strong hand grabs your wrist and tugs you back.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asks as you stumble backward into him, your back pressing against his firm chest, sending a little spark down your spine.

“I—I was getting in the cart.”

“Oh, now that’s just for regular, everyday hayrides.” He grasps your hand and leads you towards the front of the cart, gesturing towards the bench that sits just behind the horses; he places his warm hands on your shoulders and gives them a gentle squeeze. “Private tours get the best seat in the house.”

You climb aboard and he follows, letting out a quiet, satisfied-sounding groan as he settles in beside you, scooting closer until his warm body presses right against yours. The bench is more than long enough to afford you both some personal space, but it seems the private tour also comes with the bonus of physical affection and suggestive flirtation—not that you’re complaining. The hayride operator reaches over and pats your thigh. “Alright. Where to?”

“Uh, I don’t know.” You shrug and gesture vaguely in front of you. “Where do you normally take this thing?”

“Oh yeah.” He furrows his brow. “Sorry, I’m just used to my day job.”

“What do you do for your day job?”

“Lifeguard.”

“Wait, wh—” Your inquiry is cut short as the horses take off, jostling you and pitching you forward, then back. As you try to right yourself, something shiny catches your eye; you glance over and see three sheathed swords nestled in the hay just behind you.

“Say, hayride guy,” you ask, reaching over to poke at them, “what are these for?”

He grunts and brushes your hand away without looking over. “Protection.”

“Protection from what?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Ah, he must be doing a bit—they’re props. You smirk, settling back onto your seat, leaning your head against his sturdy shoulder as you listen to the steady clip-clop of the horses and the rhythmic squeak of the wagon’s wheels, the only sounds in the depths of the darkened forest. The festival is low-budget, to say the least, but they cared enough about attention to detail to have the hayride operator carrying swords; you start to wonder if this is supposed to be a haunted hayride, and perhaps your beefy driver will be showing off his faux-sword skills before the end, fighting off a zombie horde or two.

You sigh as you press your cheek against his bicep and try to ignore the troublesome feeling inside you—that maybe Yuuta was trying to get a hold of you, that you should have just waited longer to see if his late-night inspection was over quickly enough he could join you. The phone in your pocket has been silent for some time now, and you carefully pull it out, just to check; no signal at all, and no texts, only a notification about your rent being overdue again.

“Hey. Don’t let him get you down, sweet cheeks.” He covers the screen of your phone and pushes it down into your lap, leaving his hand there for a moment, precariously close to the apex of your thighs. His touch is warm, radiating a kind of animalistic heat—one that feels a little too raw, and little too dangerous. He smirks, making some clicking noise at the horses as you wind your way through the deepening woods. “You know, I think you could do better than him, anyway.”

I bet you do, you grin to yourself as your limbs flood with heat and your stomach twists in knots, chewing on your lower lip at the way his muscles flex with every flick of the reigns. You feel a fire lighting at the base of your spine the longer you stare at him, the longer your body seems to melt into his as you snuggle closer along the trail—perhaps you’ll have to pay him a visit after the festival closes and see if he offers any after-hour tours. He certainly seems amenable to the idea, and it had been a while since the last time you’d been bent over a piece of farm equipment and railed in a spooky, secluded wood after all. You start to wonder if he’s all bluster, or if he’s adept at putting his big hands and his smart mouth to good use.

The fog of lust in your head starts to clear a little and you glance around, not recognizing the trees and landscape in front of you, the horses trotting over a layer of decaying leaves instead of the paved path that had been stretching out ahead of you. No, the woods directly behind the festival grounds aren’t this dense, the branches don’t hang this low, the air is never this still.  You sit up, a sense of dread creeping up into your throat, and tap the driver on his forearm with a shaking hand.

“Hey, uh, hayride guy?”

“It’s Zoro,” he grouses.

“Right. Zoro.” You swallow hard, an icy shiver running down your spine as a cold wind whips through the trees. “So…where are we, anyway?”

“Tch, we’re on the trail,” Zoro scoffs as he glances around. He suddenly sits up straight, his mouth opening and closing, only faint sounds of confusion coming out. “Or, uh…we were.”

“What do you mean ‘we were’? Don’t the horses know where to go?”

“They don’t have built-in GPS, they just go straight until I tell ‘em to not go straight.”

“So where the hell are we, then?” The skin on your arms prickles underneath your thick sweater and acid roils in your belly, that sense of dread that sits in your throat threatening to push its way out.

“Well, we’re in the woods.”

“I know that!”

“Don’t worry your pretty head about it, okay?” It feels like he’s reassuring himself just as much as he’s trying to calm your frayed nerves, as if the machinations in his mind are just starting to turn, to decide where you go from here. Zoro stretches and wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him; he smells like stale cigars and sweat and too much cheap body spray and it’s the most intoxicating thing you’ve inhaled all night. “Look, I can get us out of this. They don’t call me the world’s strongest hayride operator for nothin’.”

You slowly look up at him. “Is that—is that a thing? Do people actually call you that?”

“Ha! Exactly.”

A scream abruptly fills the air, cutting through the eerie quiet, followed by another, then another—the strangled cries for help of someone, or something, in distress. Zoro pulls you in closer, his fingers digging into your shoulder as you bury your face against his chest. It’s just part of the show, you tell yourself, choking on a shuddering breath. It’s just part of the show, and some dude in a shitty costume is gonna run out of the woods any minute and try to scare me. After a few agonizing moments, the bloodcurdling shrieks finally die down, the pained noises reducing to pathetic whimpers and then…silence.

“You know, you’re pretty cute when you’re scared.”

Before you can say something equally flirtatious back, the horses come to a sudden halt; they whinny and stomp in place, clearly disturbed by something that only they can sense.

“Zoro…what’s going on?” It’s just part of the show, it’s just part of the show…

“I dunno,” he says, making soft noises at the horses to soothe them, his hand moving down and settling on your thigh protectively. “Something’s got them all riled up.”

The quality of the performance is good, you force yourself to think as he squints into the near-darkness, but his delivery could be more authentic. You join him in his scan of your surroundings, searching the foggy woods for whatever had frightened the horses, their heads bobbing and nostrils flaring at something in the distance. Leaves crunch and branches crack as something approaches, its pace slow and hesitant, a low growling emanating from the darkness—the sound effects are impressive, and you try to find the hidden speakers within the foggy haze.

“Zoro,” you mumble quietly, as you wrap your arm around his waist and cling to him, “I think there’s something up there.”

“Where?” He leans forward, peering into the shadowy distance.

“Right—right there.” You gasp as you see the source of the noise ambling out of the woods. “Oh my god, it’s a dog—it looks like it’s hurt!”

Without another thought, you hop down from the cart and carefully approach the dog, who slinks closer to you, eyeing you cautiously with each step. The moonlight peers through the clouds and illuminates the creature, its dark grey fur stained with blood, bits of viscera clinging to the matted hair around its face.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Zoro shouts from the cart. “Get back here and stay on the wagon.”

“What? It’s fine, it’s all part of the show isn’t it?” Surely this was just someone’s pet, doused in red corn syrup and set loose as part of the haunted hayride.

“What show? This is just a hayride.”

“Sure, I got you.” You wink and snap finger-guns at him confidently, and turn your attention back to the injured pup. “Here doggie! C’mere sweetie, let me—oh my god.”

Your mouth drops open and a gasp pushes its way out of your lungs—the dog, you realize, is no dog at all.

The creature that stalks out of the woods appears to be a wolf, its eyes burning bright like smelted gold, teeth bared and lips curled back into a snarl, its fangs dripping with strings of blood-reddened saliva. You freeze in place, arms outstretched, hoping your vaguely threatening posture is enough to keep the wolf at bay as your heart hammers in your ribcage and your breathing comes in fits and starts. It senses something in you—fear, hesitation, weakness—and approaches slowly, one carefully placed paw at a time, sniffing the air and growling more desperately with every whiff of you that it catches.

“Get back.”

A strong hand on your shoulder jerks you back and shoves you towards the wagon. Zoro now stands in front of you—his shirt is gone, revealing a smooth expanse of streamlined muscle and sinew rippling under bronzed skin, a black bandana is tied around his head, and he wields his three swords, one in each hand, and the third held between his teeth. He widens his stance and maintains his position as the wolf approaches more boldly now, barking and growling, steam from its warm breath rising into the air. The creature leaps at him and he quickly crosses the two swords in front of him to block its attack, the metal shaking as he grunts and shoves the wolf back.

“Three-Sword-Style,” Zoro shouts, the words muffled by the sword still clenched between his teeth, “Grime Tornado!”

A strong gust of air suddenly swirls in front of him and disburses with great force, pushing the wolf backward as it struggles to stay standing until it’s shoved to the edge of the woods. The air settles, and the wolf pauses for a moment, teeth still glimmering in the moonlight, eyes glowing like embers, before it runs off into the trees again, its howls lingering in the still air. Zoro lowers his arms, letting the tips of his blades point towards the ground as he walks towards you, his broad chest heaving with every panting breath.

“I told you to stay in the damned wagon,” he mumbles through the sword still tucked between his clenched teeth. He walks over to the cart and carefully sheaths the three swords again, giving them a reassuring pat before turning to glare at you. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“It—it was all part of the show, right?” Your hands tremble, the wolf’s glowing eyes still appearing behind your eyelids with every blink; the way they pierced you was unnerving, almost as if there was something human about them.

And the blood. The blood looked so—so real.

“I still don’t know what you’re talking about,” he grunts as he walks over to you, scooping you up with startling ease and carrying you back to the wagon. He plops you down in the back like a sack of rice, your backside landing in a soft pile of hay, and he glowers at you. “Don’t get back out again. Not for anything. Understand?”

You nod, and the desire to jump into his burly arms again courses through you. As frightened as you are, the sight of him, shirtless and flexing, moving with a grace and speed you hadn’t expected from him, has a stranglehold on you—if he’d asked to bend you over right then and there, you would have gladly thanked him for his hard work and offered him payment in the form of whatever part of your body he most preferred.

“Thanks for saving me, Zoro.”

He grunts in response and jostles the reigns, the horses taking their cue and trotting off into the depths of the woods again. You pull your knees up to your chest and lean against a hay bale, your eyes focused on Zoro the whole time; he glances back now and again, quick looks of concern at first, then of something else, something that feels far less virtuous.

The horses seem to find their way back onto the path with some degree of ease, and before long, you can see the festival off in the distance, smell the greasy mystery meats-on-sticks, hear the noise that passes for music as some local band plays royalty-free Halloween music.

The wagon comes to an abrupt halt, the festival almost within reach—you can almost touch the goopy fountain again. Zoro heaves his arm over the divider that separates the two of you, leaning his bare torso towards you. “Listen. We need to talk.”

“Look, Zoro, let me be the first to say—I think the ride was spectacular,” you start to ramble, your hands gesturing wildly as you speak. “And I promise I won’t say anything to anyone about the—well, whatever the fuck happened back there. Or the, uh—the flirting. Not that I minded! I mean, I don’t know if it’s the most professional way of giving private rides, but it was, you know…appreciated. If you need me to fill out a survey about your services, I can certainly—”

“You talk too damned much, calm down.” He places a thick finger over your lips to shush you, leaning in until his face is just inches from yours. “Now listen to me very carefully, honey—you owe me.”

Your breath quickens, your chest rising and falling rapidly, and an aching heat that you had been trying to ignore begins to grow in your core. “For—for what? You said the hayride was free.”

“It is.” He licks his lips and raises a wide hand to your face, cupping your chin. “But the saving your life part is extra.”

“I—I’m sorry, I don’t have any money to give you,” you stammer, your voice a husky whisper. Your gaze flits over his face, noticing a certain predatory glint in his eye, a hunger lingering on the upturned corners of his lips. “I left my wallet at home.”

“Oh sweetheart,” he coos, stroking your cheek with the rough pad of his thumb, “I don’t want your money.”

“What do you want then?”

“Same thing you do.”

You bite your lip shyly, looking up at him through half-lidded eyes in your best approximation of an innocent glance. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Tch. I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me since you found me. The way you wrapped your arms around me when you were scared—and even when you weren’t.” He climbs over the wooden divide and into the wagon with you, kneeling in front of you and placing his hands on your thighs. “You’re really gonna try to play the coy thing? Because it’s not workin’ for you.”

“No?” He’s big—so big—and his body almost engulfs you as he leans in and grips the edge of the cart behind you, his massive arms caging you in on either side, his broad chest almost pressed to yours.

“Nah. See, I what I think is,” he murmurs into your ear, warm breath spreading across your chilled skin, “that you want the big, strong guy who saved your life to make you forget all about that little shit that stood you up.”

Without another thought—your mind drained of all rational notions, left only with fleeting images of how he’d look on top of you, behind you, underneath you—you lean up and kiss him impulsively, your lips crashing against his hard and fast, trying to satisfy a need that had been growing all night. He inhales sharply at the sudden kiss, then places one hand at the back of your head to hold you in place as he claims your mouth, parting your lips with his tongue before plunging it into your mouth and entwining it with yours. His free hand roams up the hem of your sweater, groping at your breasts, tugging at the fabric of your bra until his thumb finds your hardened nipple. He makes firm circles over it and your back arches as warm, gentle waves of pleasure move through you, and he groans at the way you writhe under his touch.

“Bet you wanna get fucked, don’t you?” he growls against your lips, his grip on the nape of your neck tightening. He lets out a low chuckle as you nod and whimper, your hands moving down his bare torso towards the waistband of his pants, palm brushing against the sizeable bulge that strains against the fabric. “Mm, somebody’s needy. Lay down for me, then—let’s settle up what you owe.”

You obediently recline in the hay and kick your boots off, stripping yourself of your jeans with a frantic urgency; Zoro moves down between your legs, nudging them apart to kneel between them. He drags two fingers up your clothed slit, his fingertips catching on dampened cotton, and a satisfied hum vibrates in his chest as he finally takes in the extent of your arousal.

“This for me?” he purrs, pressing down against your clit, rubbing you through your panties until your legs tremble and your hands grasp at flimsy pieces of straw.

“D-don’t flatter yourself.”

“You sure? I don’t see anyone else around here to make your pussy this wet.” He grabs the waistband of your panties and pulls them down over your hips, stripping you of them and tossing them behind him. He quickly undoes his trousers and slides them down his lean hips, his cock springing forth from the confines of his pants. Your jaw goes slack at the sight of it—thick and veiny, sitting heavy in his palm as he slowly strokes himself for you, the head growing redder and more swollen with every vulgar caress. 

“Think you can handle it?” He lets a wad of saliva drip from his lips and onto his cock, spreading it over his impressive length until it glistens in the moonlight.

“Think so,” you whimper back, spreading your thighs a little wider to accommodate him as he moves on top of you, aligning his hips with yours. Zoro wastes no time in collecting his payment for his earlier heroics and slowly pushes into you, stretching you with every agonizing inch that slides inside; little sparks of pleasure ignite in your limbs, and that deep ache in your core grows with every bit of his fat cock that he bullies inside you.

“There you go,” he growls as he finally fills you completely and his pelvis presses against yours. “Took it all like a good little whore.”

You wrap your arms around his neck and nip and kiss at his jaw. “Not a whore.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, honey,” he coos condescendingly, his hips rocking just enough to give you a few tentative, shallow thrusts. “Would you prefer ‘slut’ instead?”

“I’d prefer you sh—” Your words are quickly cut off by the gasp that shoves its way out of your lungs as he pulls out and plunges inside again, knocking against something inside you that makes your eyes go bleary and your fingers tingle.

Zoro’s thrusts are quick and feral, the kind that make you pulse and press your thighs into his hips, the kind that make your hands grasp for anything within reach—his bulging biceps, his mossy hair, a handful of hay underneath you—anything to ground yourself as he fills you again and again until all he is all there is. He drives into you over and over, and you lift your hips upward to meet his, deepening every plunge until you’re bucking and arching and colliding in a seamless rhythm.

“Touch yourself for me,” Zoro grunts as he slows his movements to angle his hips, and his cockhead drags against that sweet spot inside of you. “I bet you look so fucking good when you cum, pretty little slut.”

Your eyes flutter shut as you reach down and move your fingers over your clit, already swollen and pulsing with need. A moan of pleasure claws its way out of you and you writhe and thrash under him while he watches closely, his gaze focused on your face, his jaw hanging open the more your expression twists and contorts in pleasure. That tension in your belly winds tighter and tighter with every plunge of his length inside you and every swift movement of your fingers over your sensitive bud, until your body is trembling and your muscles are seizing and you mumble something unintelligible about being close, so close, so very, very close.

“That’s it,” Zoro rasps, his cock throbbing inside you as you start to tighten around him, “now cum on this big cock for me.”

A profound heat spreads throughout your lower half as you tense and release in waves of shaking spasms; you wail his name, not caring who or what that may lurk in the forest hears you, as your cunt pulls him further in. Zoro moans quietly and fucks into you with messy, erratic thrusts, hitting you so deep that it almost hurts, bordering on that delicious line between pain and pleasure. His breaths are shallow and fast, his teeth clenched, his body beginning to shake as your fluttering cunt urges him towards his climax.

“Fuck, sweetheart—you feel so damned good, gonna make me cum for you.” A long, low groan carries in the air as he quickly pulls out of you and jerks himself off, his hips tensing and shuddering as his aching cock throbs, coating your stomach with his thick, white spend. He bucks into his fist, milking every last bit of cum from his pulsating length, and collapses next to you, heaving a satisfied moan in between deep, panting breaths.

As you begin to reassemble yourself and pull hay out of random crevices, you feel a vibration against your foot—your phone is buzzing in the pocket of your discarded jeans.

[Soggy Man]: Hey I made it! did you still want to meet up?

“Aw, shit.” You glance over at Zoro, busy catching his breath, his chest rising and falling as his hands settle on his stomach. His toned body glistens with sweat in the moonlight, his half-hard cock laying against his thick thigh, leaking onto his bronzed skin; if it weren’t for the fact he was technically on the clock and you were technically now on a date, you would gladly spend the rest of your night right here, just outside the noise and the lights and the people, indulging in a little more holiday hedonism.

[You]: in a little while. I’m on a hayride right now

[Soggy Man]: that sounds fun! we should go together when you get back

“Hey, uh…can I ask you something?” You sit up and fumble for your jeans again, pulling your wallet out of a back pocket. “How much would you want to, um—to keep quiet about what just happened?”

“Hm.” He puts his hands behind his head and stares up at the night sky, considering his options for a moment. “Give me a taste of that slutty little pussy of yours and we’ve got a deal.”

“I suppose I can’t say no to that,” you whisper under your breath, your cunt fluttering at the thought of him between your legs again.

“Hey…what’s this?” Zoro rolls over and snatches the wallet out of your hand, using it to point at you accusatorily. “I thought you said you left this at home.”

“What? Wow, that’s so weird, why would I say that…”

“Careful now. Lies are gonna cost you extra.”

He moves down between your shaking legs, shoving them apart and grunting something lewd about how good you look the way your slick spreads out across your thighs. He lays down on his stomach, hooking his thick arms under your legs, and lets out a satisfied groan as he nips at the inside of your thigh, lowering his head down to give your slit an exploratory lick.

“Extra?” A low moan tumbles out of you as his wide tongue licks a thick stripe up your cunt, then plunges it inside you, shallowly fucking you with it. “Then how about, after you’re done down there, I ride you—then you give me a ride back?

“A ride for a ride, huh?” Zoro murmurs against your skin, stopping his movements for a moment to glance up at you. He smiles, high on the fucked-out expression etched into your features, before flicking his tongue over your aching clit, groaning as you softly rock your hips into his face. “Man, I fuckin’ love this job.”

[just-another-colin-kinnie]

Knock knock ! who's there ? AUTISM.

hi uhm. hi hi Zane and Data and their fuckingn brothers and other shit i came up with (IGNORE THE OLD INVENTOR MAN YAOI!!!!!!!!!)

also theres a ninjago mcdonalds au in here. no i wont explain. just click the photos to see everything better and also the video that noodle doodle is based on is under the cut

[tomatoswup]

"Can I get a-"

summary: Hi! Welcome to McDonald's! How may I take your order?

warnings/tags: crack!fic, legit just a crack fic, or aCTUALLY A CRACK!DRABBLE☝️☝️ mcdonalds propaganda, big breakfast and hash brown advocation, poor vash trying to work on a normal day, knives fist fighting a customer waffle house style, reader just wants their breakfast ;(

A/N: ....do i have to explain why i wrote this.....i found the whole mcdonalds au one of the funniest things the fandom could've come up with...it wasn't just a need it was a NECESSITY :D

"Order number 32!"

Ah yes, McDonalds at 7 in the morning, the beeps of the orders coming in, the beeping of the machines, and the bustling talking of the customers either sitting and eating or waiting for their orders.

McDonalds was a true staple of cryptic shopping for hunger.

But you could never get enough of their big breakfast and hashbrowns. And like a zombie, sometimes you found yourself in line some mornings before work.

But this morning seemed a bit...off.

"YOU'RE BURNING THE THE FUCKING HASHBROWNS WOLFWOOD!"

"NO I'M NOT!"

You couldn't help but watch a pancake fly in the air as you made your way to the counter. There, you were met with a kind faced worker, a cute one too! Peeking at his name plate that read "Vash", you gave him a soft smile, still feeling a bit tired.

"Hi! How can I help you?" He asked, returning the smile, the McDonalds hat on his head pushing down the tufts of blonde spikes of his, peeking under the hat.

But why was he wearing glasses? It was practically still dark outside...

"Hi, can I get a-"

"EXCUSE ME! WHY DID I NOT GET ANY LARGE FRIES!" Turning your attention to one of the customers right by you, both Vash and you jumped at the sudden slam of a receipt onto the counter to one of the other workers behind it.

A more pale, blonde man stood there, giving the rude customer one of the most stankiest faces you never thought some one could ever give.

If looks could kill, this man definitely could. He looked like he was about to jump over the counter and pounce on the man with the energy he was giving out.

Waffle House style.

"Err, sorry 'bout that.."Vash sweatdropped before looking back at you "What did you want to order?"

"Can I get uh-"

"JESUS FUCK MERYL DO YOU KNOW HOW TO FLIP A SAUSAGE?"

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME!? I'VE BEEN WORKING HERE FOR 2 YEARS! YOU'RE THE NEW ONE!"

You took a step back when suddenly, you saw a flash of yellow flying towards the both of you.

WAS THAT AN EGG??

Oh fuc- "FUCK!" You shouted as you ducked, wait did you say duck? Or did you say fuck?

Looking back up, you saw pieces of egg hanging off the back of Vash's head as you put a hand over your mouth.

Oh noo...

"I'm so sorry-"

You got back up on your feet and leaned over to brush off the egg pieces from the back of Vash's head.

"And I thought today was gonna be a normal morning..." Vash exhaustingly sighed.

Suddenly, you heard a scuffle behind you, chairs moving and things toppling over.

What was going on!

Turning around, you watched as Nai fist fought the customer, chairs flying everywhere as Nai tackled the man into a table.

"HEY HEY KNIVES IS FIGHTING!!" You heard someone scream from the back before the influx of McDonalds workers came running from behind the counter, jumping over or going through the door entrance to aid him.

"GET HIS ASS KNIVES!"

"GET HIM OFF!"

"Oh we're getting sued..."

You couldn't help but just watch on, mouth agape at what just happened in the matter of 1 hour, before looking back at Vash, who kept his place behind the register, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment.

"I'm so so sorry...Honestly, I can give you a free apple pie because of all this..." He apologized, shoulders drooping down.

"Oh um, it's okay, really." You couldn't help but chuckle "Rough morning huh?"

Maybe you should come back another day.

...At least the cashier was cute..

[gabriel-shutterson]

saw you mention it in the tags of a post but. please enlighten me, what is the mikami mcdonalds au

I. I don’t even know how to explain myself here. Just have it. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mAW4oFyofRDE0y2bLGcQLFltNoiGcNq--ERxgnpIVPI/edit

[corviiids]

if you have ever wanted to read about achilles and zagreus going to mcdonalds together and it's not an au they are just two people from the underworld going to mcdonalds and it is not explained, please consider ordering @hadescookbook, because i made them let me write about that.

preorders are open from now until may 15! it is for charity!! and as well as getting a lovely book of delicious recipes and beautiful fic and art that has nothing to do with mcdonalds, there's also exciting merch like a coaster and an apron. very cool

here is the link again for the fourth time this post

[unagidevi]

Welcome to unagidevis page

this is an introduction post! (and a very very long one.)

–

Table of Contents

-Introduction

-Tags and Meanings

-Art Rules

-Social Media

-Conclusion

–

Introduction

Hello there! My name online is unagidevi but please refer to me as Devion, Devi or Dev. Often people use Devi or Dev for short as it is easier and shorter to type. I have high-function autism, ADHD, and short-term memory. I like the color green and I have many, many pets. I also like Gacha and Art, as I do both as well as writing and animation. I'm a big fan with making my own OCs and I really like Dreamswap even if the creator is a little shaky. My birthday is August 21st.

I usually add my own spin onto Dreamswap characters like Dream now is a brunette otherwise he looks like a highlighter as well as other designs being altered. I don't stick to one ship, I ship multiple things.

Some fandoms I'm in currently in 2023/2024 are:

Warrior Cats

Undertale AUs / Dreamswap

IBVS

The Umbrella Academy

Gacha Games by Lunime / Luni

I won't exactly post many other fandoms besides Undertale AUs and Dreamswap or a little bit of Gacha sprinkled here and there. Often for my art I use Gacha Club for reference and hues in my artwork, as of currently the tints. I play the Sims 3 mostly and I have around 6-7 expansions for it with no regret. Umbrella Academy is one of my favorite medias due to the story-building and characters in it.

I have a few AUs I own myself, some are: Dreamsleep and Ampletale. Despite Ampletale having barely any content here it is being reworked and redesigned while Dreamsleep has an entire story and such.

Even if Dreamsleep has canon ships, people are always welcome to make their own.

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Tags and Meanings

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I have plenty of tags, there is going to be a very long list listed here. Of course, I'll be using normal tags like #dreamswap, #undertale or #art but this list is for my very own. They will all be color-coded; Pink is main tags and ask tags, Purple is for shipping or certain asks, Blue is for stories and OCs, Red is for tags relating to me, Green is for a list of characters in Dreamsleep, Orange is for Other. Now that we have the colors, let me explain the tags.

dreamsleep explanation - explaining dreamswap or for the characters references

dreamsleep - a story in the works that follows two trainee sorcerers through their journey of dreamsleep and it's lands

asks for dev - you asking me questions and getting results

devs anon asks - anon asks that will sometimes have this tag if I remember

dev rambles like a lunatic - me rambling on about something stupid or nothing important.

undertale yt au / youtuber au - an au that revolves sans aus running youtube channels

whimsical dreamswap - a fantasy au based off dreamswap with elves, creatures, and other things

fastfood dreamswap - mcdonalds, starbucks and elsewhat based on dreamswap lmao

spikes 'n commentary - youtuber au commentary squad team name

little distractable men - our youtuber au markipiler/distractable squad team name

legion of starry smp - youtuber au minecraft group team name

finchfeathers - a dreamswap ship that ships Finch and Dream

bluetooth - a dreamswap ship that ships Blue and Hacker

paintedwings / fink - a dreamswap ship that ships Ink and Finch

burntstring - a dreamswap ship that ships Finch and Error

tatteredwings - a dreamswap ship that ships Finch and Cross

skullcandy - a dreamswap ship that ships Hacker and Cross

terrorvisions - a dreamswap ship that ships Randy and Dream together, as some call them 'gay dads'

stellars jay - a dreamswap ship that ships Blue and Finch

starryskies - a dreamswap ship that involves Hacker and Nightmare, a reference to starryelem

redsoul - redsoul is a ship in dreamsleep that canonically ships Error and Cross or better-known Mal and Klaus

arella - a ship that canonically ships Blue and Ink or known as Arledge and Ornella

riclydei - a poly dreamsleep uncanon ship that ships Horror, Killer and Dust which are known as Ripple, Lorelei and Clyde

cedarnu - a dreamsleep ship that uncanonically ships Farmer and Swapfell or Dinu and Cedar

hatobias - a canon dreamsleep ship that ships Harrow ( Nightmare ) and Tobias ( ? )

nich - a dreamswap ship that ships Nightmare and Finch

noelzzy - a ship that just ships two of my ocs, izzy and noel

izzy coleman - an oc that just has two characters in it

noel barker - an oc that just has two characters in it

dakota feverview - a dreamswap self insert elf character thats mostly as a side

rory caskey - a ibvs oc

casimir dream - whimsical dreamswap au dream

swindler ink - whimsical dreamswap au ink

cobalt!blue - whimsical dreamswap au blue

anwar bobby - whimiscal dreamswap bobby

azeban cross - whimsical dreamswap cross

kamaxe hacker - whimsical dreamswap hacker

rana randy - whimsical dreamswap randy

akli nightmare - whimsical dreamswap nightmare

arc error - whimsical dreamswap error

lorcan finch - whimsical dreamswap finch

dev the simp - a tag some people use for me simping for said character

devs pets - some photos or drawings of my pets

dev ideas - ideas put into paper or in a written post

dev links - i link something or someone

dev makes fanart - rarely use this tag, but for fanart not from a fandom

dev ao3 - i link my ao3 posts

harrow deskin - dreamsleep nightmare, a trainee sorcerer and main character/protag

luka deskin - dreamsleep dream, a trainee sorcerer and antagonist

malifunction crimewave - dreamsleep error, an elfin demon

klaus silk - dreamsleep cross, a vampire who is siblings with ink/ornella

tobias harrison - a dreamsleep character made for fun and put into the story as a friendly character

arledge fernfield - dreamsleep blue, a jackalope character

ornella silk - dreamsleep ink, a scorpion

resign shadowsong - dreamsleep science, crazy science guy

erie skies - dreamsleep outer, a science experiment which was originally a sparrow

cerasus vi kiao - dreamsleep nim, a dead sorcerer with many good folktales around

tove deskin - harrow and lukas grandmother, plays the role of maybe neil

esadora davis - dreamsleep character, mentor and mother of main character and antagonist

robijn highlock / robbie highlock - dreamsleep fell, the princess of the ruby kingdom

atasi nevada - dreamsleep crow/bird, the mayor of skystead and a bluebird

vesei redwood - dreamsleep geno, an immortal stuck in the passage of time

grim robinborn - dreamsleep reaper, a grim reaper thats here and there

kendall locket - dreamsleep ccino, plays the role of keeping a safe place for the main character and friends. you never know who they may know or have relations to

cedar key - dreamsleep swapfell, a blood elf

dinu maverick - dreamsleep farmer, an elf farmer in the cherrytown farms

cashew fernfield - dreamsleep honey/carrot, a young weredeer and little sibling of arledge

jasper crimewave - dreamsleep core!frisk, little sibling of mal and a varying demon

ripple chunkfoot - dreamsleep horror, a werewolf

lorelei enida - dreamsleep killer, a human

clyde ninya - dreamsleep dust, a sun demon

icterid 'starling' fink - dreamswap shipchild of paintedwings shared with @starryelem

nolan 'peridot' silva , nelson 'ruby' silva - dreamswap shipchildern and twins of ds errormare, shared with @starryelem

western 'cypher-text' bradford - dreamswap shipchild of bluetooth, share with @starryelem

hypno carmine - dreamswap shipchild of koriot and cross, shared with @starryelem

lavender von licht - an adopted child by dreamswap dream, shared with @starryelem

any youtuber au character - like cace levi, or issac soar, or ezra philip. it'll say youtuber au in the tags

– Art Rules

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What are art rules? basically rules if you use my art for anything, all i hope is you follow one or more of these. I'm sorry if these are strict but it seems to be often needed.

~Do not steal my art and call it your own, i don't appreciate any of this and it takes quite a while to make a big piece.

~If you use my art as profile pictures or background, please credit me.

~Don't repost it and call it 'exposure' or anything else. Though reblogs are welcome and don't count.

~commissions and requests are always very welcome here on tumblr or instagram.

~Please do not trace my art, thank you! Though putting bits and pieces of my style in yours is okay!

– Social Media –

I don't really post many places often besides Tumblr or Youtube, however I have some social media.

–Youtube, where I make art and gacha videos

–Ao3, where I sometimes write stories

–Come support me on Patreon!

–My instagram, where I make some art pieces I post here and sometimes don't.

–My twitter I sometimes forget I have

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Conclusion

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This is the end of my introduction post, this is a remake of my old one and I'm very proud of how it came out. I would appreciate lots of support on my posts in the future but for now I'm okay with where I'm at.

[i-like-anything-water]

Chlonette Angkas AU:

Chloe is still attention deprived from her parents despite doing everything she can think of to gain their approval (especially her mother's). One day Adrien takes her to a motorcycle road racing event and she fell in love.

Her parents didn't notice the sudden purchase since they were used to their daughters sudden shopping sprees.

She becomes a pro at age 20 and has been competing since she was 18 (idk shit about motorcycle racing lmao) with Adrien and Kagami accompanying her.

She almost gets into an accident, a month before her 21st birthday. Her parents finally notice.

She's scolded and grounded.

She tries to get her way, explaining how it was her passion and she hasn't felt alive in such a long time. She's even threatened to leave and disown herself (can she do that though??? Lol xD)

Her father hesitates. He loves her daughter and he feels guilty that he's taken up too much time with their business and upcoming campaign to spend time with her. Her mother still hasn't budged.

It was when Andre realized he was losing to the public's votes did he realize that he and Chloe could strike a...deal.

"Honey, I agree on you going back to your...erm, game. But you must accomplish an errand first." "Oh, yes! Anything, Daddy. I am your daughter after all. What errand is it?"

Chloe is grumbling and complaining on the first day of being an Angkas driver. As per her father's request, it would look good for him and their family if they helped out in the community especially the laborers.

"I don't wanna get near those commoners! What if they attack me?!" "Darling, they're nice people. Er, I didn't think you would have opted to be in the cleaning department...and you do love racing..." A sigh.

She's not accustomed to driving for other people so she gets complaints on her first day. "Are you crazy?! I almost died!" "God I thought I saw you for a second." "I'm gonna tell my family I love them every day if you're my driver." "Your hair looks ugly in that helmet." The last one she may have purposely suddenly stopped the bike and well...

It was on her second week did she get a customer that was her age, maybe younger. She didn't say anything. Chloe wasn't surprised, she looked like shit. Ew, seriously were all people not taking an effort in their looks?

"How fast do you want me to be?" If there was sarcasm, the customer didn't notice. She merely shrugged and said, "Depends on you."

Well, okay then.

It's only when they got to their destination did her customer looked both shocked, thrilled, and fear.

"holy shit I'm not late! Holy shit, I'm not late! How fast did you go?"

Chloe shrugs, "Not fast enough to break the law."

She learns her customer's name is Marinette. How? Because she was a customer and they used an app, obviously.

She was actually...happy. it's been a long time (it's been a week) since she ran that fast (there was numerous tickets already) and she kinda wished she'd book her again (Marinette doesn't look too concerned for herself which was both worrying and 'it's not my business but still').

She gets Chloe again and this time she recognizes the familiar helmet and jacket. Marinette offers her a smile to which Chloe rolled her eyes at. Affectionately. Not! God damn it she was not that gay.

It's only when she wasn't cursing at the world or busy thinking how ugly her customers are did she notice Marinette's arms around her and oh.

Oh they almost ran a red light. Oops.

"I thought you were supposed to be good at this?" "Good at what?! Driving?!" "Making sure your customers don't die or end up in jail!"

They bicker along the way which earns them curious looks.

It becomes a routine and Chloe definitely did not harass inform the other drivers that Marinette was hers. To drive!

They once stopped at McDonald's because Marinette forgot to eat. "Don't you have your maid to prepare your meals?" The drive thru cashier and Marinette could only stare at each other, silently exchanging the money and food.

During their journey to Marinette's apartment (she mentioned it during the third ride) to her school, they talked. Well, screamed because traffic is shitty. But it's fine, it keeps Chloe entertained for the time being. Only one more month and Daddy's campaign is over.

Marinette's is...okay. Fine, maybe she was fun to talk to. And maybe she did give Chloe a cupcake or whatever new recipe she had on before they went to school. And maybe she was sometimes, on the rarity, like very rare times! She looked...nice.

She thinks the pollution has finally gotten to her. Being exposed to this much pollution and people is making her sick because.... because Marinette keeps getting prettier everytime she picks her up and this is not fucking fair.

"I think I like her." Her coworker, a father of two kids only looked at her, mid chew on his bread. Chloe realized what she said and panicked, but before she could scream and curse, he smiled and swallowed. "I think you do, Miss."

It was during the first week of the next month did Adrien visit her. He was also busy with class and modeling. Once the day of them hanging out was over, he gave her a hug and said, "It's okay. She seems like a nice girl. Try to ask her out, yeah?"

Asking out girls without your fancy pictures or perfectly (elaborate) planned speech was harder. Marinette walked out the door with her hair in a bun, some strays of hair making it look like bean sprouts and she looked halfway to passing out. Chloe thought she looked beautiful.

"Shit."

It ends with them pinning for almost two months and then the confession and their cute dates. If I have time I'll continue this but viola, them...just, them.

[living-lucid-dream]

(EVEN MORE) Blind Pico AU!

After several hours of exhausted sleep oblivion, Pico begins to have a nightmare. He dreams that he is alone and being hunted by somebody or something that speaks in different voices, mimicking his friends and past enemies. He is running down a hallway at his old high school with no windows or doors--only endless rows of lockers. At the end of the hall is a bottomless black pool that will swallow his entire being. He can't stop running because he will be caught by the hunter, but he can't continue because the pool is getting closer and closer....

Just as he is about to fall into the pool, Pico wakes up screaming. This ends up being extra unfortunate because the sudden ear-splitting shrieking jerks Boyfriend out of a dead sleep, startling him enough that he flops off the edge of the bed.

Boyfriend scrambles up off the ground and asks Pico if he is alright. Pico says he's fine and apologizes to Boyfriend for kicking him off the bed. Boyfriend asks him if he's sure and if he needs anything and frets that they slept past when Pico was supposed to have his eyedrops. Embarrassed over Boyfriend's ministrations, Pico insists that he is alright aside from being thirsty and also needing to go to the bathroom.

Boyfriend awkwardly says, "Do you...uh...need help or...?" to which Pico immediately snaps that he can handle that just fine on his own, fuck you very much. Boyfriend says he's sorry and he's just trying to figure all of this out, which only makes Pico feel like a total jerk on top of feeling like an invalid. Pico tells him it's fine and asks Boyfriend if they can just forget that conversation ever happened already.

After Pico takes care of his business (and after Boyfriend helps him put in his eyedrops and empties the drains), Boyfriend asks if he wants him to go get some lunch at--where else?--McDonald's. Pico tells him sure and insists that he will be fine on his own for half an hour.

This turns out to be a filthy lie as, just a few minutes after Boyfriend leaves, Pico trips over a shoe and falls on the floor. After the initial shock wears off (because it turns out that falling directly onto a new surgical incision hurts), Pico quickly discovers that between the incision on his abdomen, the broken ribs, and his arm in a cast, he can't maneuver to get up off the floor. He spends the next twenty minutes or so wallowing in his own mortification, both hoping Boyfriend will come back soon to help while also wishing he could just curl up and die of shame.

Boyfriend does eventually get back to Pico's apartment. He hurries over to Pico as soon as he's in the door, leading to this brilliant exchange:

"WHAT HAPPENED?!?"

"What does it look like?"

"OH MY GOD, DID YOU FALL?!?"

"No, I just decided to lay ass-up on the ground and make out with the floor."

"ARE YOU OK?!?"

"Just peachy."

"Um...if you're OK and you're done making out with the floor (which is really weird and kind of gross), maybe you should...get up off the floor...?"

"Wow, you're really gonna make me spell this out for you, huh?"

"Spell what out for--"

"I CAN'T GET UP, NUMB NUTS!"

"Oh."

Boyfriend helps Pico up off the floor and is alarmed to note that Pico is bleeding. Turns out he pulled out a couple of the staples on his incision when he fell, but the bleeding seems to be slowing down and the incision is OK. Boyfriend helps him clean off the blood and Pico changes into a clean shirt.

Over lunch, Pico decides to address the elephant in the room: "Just to be clear, last night never happened."

Boyfriend asks, "What, the crying or the falling asleep in each other's arms?"

Pico responds, "Both! All of it!"

Boyfriend is a bit hurt by this, but Pico is quick to explain: "What you have with Girlfriend is perfect for both of you. I don't want to do anything to mess that up, and I'm not going to let you do anything to throw that away."

Boyfriend sputters out a confused "What?" so Pico goes on: "I'm your ex, Bee. Even though nothing happened, do you really think Girlfriend would be cool with us sharing a bed?"

Boyfriend tries to insist that Girlfriend would understand, that he knows for a fact that she would be happy about it. Pico scoffs at this and demands to know how Boyfriend can possibly know that 'for a fact.'

Boyfriend squirms and says that he wants to tell Pico but he and Girlfriend agreed they would talk to Pico about it together. Pico asks him if this has anything to do with the thing he and Girlfriend wanted to talk to him about before the concert. Boyfriend tells him it definitely does and that he really, really wants to tell him but that he and Girlfriend made a promise to each other. Then he says, "Speaking of that night...I know you don't remember what happened, but do you have any idea who might have done this?"

Pico tells him there are a LOT of people who were mad at him that night. Boyfriend suggests that they ask Darnell and Nene if they noticed anybody suspicious to which Pico immediately snaps, "NO! I don't want to ask them for anything!"

Boyfriend is taken aback by Pico's vehemence on the matter and asks him why not. Pico then proceeds to tell Boyfriend about his interview with the police while he was in the hospital:

After the standard questions, the police asked him if he recognized either of two objects they had brought with them because Pico was found in a dumpster and these were the only things in the dumpster with him.

Pico flatly responded that no, it was pretty hard to recognize any objects when you can't see anything. The officers told him that they have a silver lighter and a throwing star. Pico asked them if the throwing star had a "Hello Kitty" sticker on it. (It did.) Then he asked them if the lighter had an engraved "D" on it. (It did.) Pico then told the police that he did recognize those things: "They belong to me."

Boyfriend asks, "But don't those belong to Nene and Darnell?"

Pico tells him that yes, they definitely do. (Those were his Christmas presents to them!)

Boyfriend asks Pico why he didn't tell the police who the lighter and throwing star really belonged to. Pico tells him he doesn't know for sure that Darnell and Nene did it--and even if they did, he'd rather deal with it himself than rat them out.

Part One Previous Next

~

I planned to write more of the AU down in this post, but I've been fighting a migraine all day and this feels like a good spot to stop for now. Never fear; more will be coming soon!

[wangxianficrecs]

Meng Yao vs. the Board of the Homeowner's Association by Ariaste

Meng Yao vs. the Board of the Homeowner's Association

by Ariaste

M, 119k, WIP, series, Xiyao & Wangxian

Summary: Two gremlins, their husbands, and the horrible HOA board. As long as nobody gets arrested for arson or murder, we're gonna call it a win.

Mojo's comments: Very funny modern au (all POV meng yao) wherein he and lan xichen are happily married and living in suburbia near a similarly happily married wangxian. Meng Yao only thrives when he can scheme, of course, and his shameless violence is aimed at protecting his hubby (whose tomatoes were violated by Horrible Susan of the HOA). Wwx is just happy to gremlin with his brother-in-law via late-night McDonald's warroom planning. Somehow, this turns them into accidental friends. Meanwhile, Lan family secrets start coming out ('secret' is a foreign concept to wei 'overshare' ying, heh) and it explains SO. MUCH. 9 works so far, series in progress. (9th work is 2/3.)

Excerpt: “Sometimes I just tell A-Yao things. They just fall out of my mouth.” Wei Wuxian spoons an alarming amount of marshmallows into his cocoa. “You understand, don’t you, dage? It’s just so easy to tell him things.” “I understand,” Huan-ge says. “I too tell him things often.” Meng Yao, sipping at the edge of the foam on his cocoa, pauses. There’s a… tone in Huan-ge’s voice. A setting-a-trap tone. “Yeah! Yeah, you get it.” “For example,” Huan-ge says smoothly, picking up the tray and straightening again, “after every time A-Yao and I make love, we shake hands and say, ‘Thank you for the orgasm, respected associate, it was satisfactory,’ and then I give his sexual performance a rating on a scale of one to ten.” Wei Wuxian freezes at the phrase ‘make love’. By the end of the sentence, his eye is twitching. Meng Yao keeps his face perfectly straight as Huan-ge walks out of the room with the tray tucked under his arm. “What’s the face for?” Meng Yao says, sipping cocoa. “Do you and Wangji not do that?” “Is this real life?” Wei Wuxian says, the paralysis melting away into distress. “Did this just happen? A-Yao, that wasn’t real, was it? He was just--fucking with me? Right??” “I beg your pardon? Have you ever known Xichen to be the sort to fuck with anyone?” Meng Yao takes another judgmental sip of cocoa. “I’ll thank you to not speak like that about my respected associate.”

humor, modern setting, modern no magic, meng yao & wei wuxian, jin guangyao & wei wuxian, pov jin guangyao, accidental therapy, accidental friendship, relationship development, hijinks & shenanigans, chicanery, fluff, domestic, family feels, adoption, bamf madam lan, bamf jin guangyao, gremlin wei wuxian, shameless wei wuxian, getting high, suburbia, feel good fic, @ariaste

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Wanted to write more today, but got carried away with the AzuIde Marriage AU reply and Rook/Epel reply oops—

But before that one, let’s reply to a couple of shorter ones.

Anonymous asked:

So Idia basically has the build of someone who would blow out a window like a McDonald’s napkin…

Sfsidufsh nooo this is too good of a comparison 😭 Pretty much. He needs to be fed immediately (the original napkin meme was tweeted by Floyd)

Anonymous asked:

I feel like this is y’all with Idia: https://www.tumblr.com/pisshandkerchief/740834090082795520/ok-now-draw-him-writhing-around-on-the-floor

Absolutely, the post basically describes the way Idia should be treated at all times. This is our motto.

Anonymous asked:

Yeeeeah a womb tattoo might be a LITTLE harder to explain than one on the cheek.

Looks good either way, Idia just has to pretend that it’s normal and isn’t cursed at all! Or make sure that no one would see it…

Cheek tattoo though. Perfect….

Anonymous asked:

to win against all hc posts that say Idia has inflicted Ortho with child proof filters online as if Idia could stop Ortho from knowing all his online habits or ''only watch racy stuff when Ortho is sleeping'', i'm cuddling plush Ortho while watching ecchi and borderline hentai anime. Uwu

Omg you’re educating him. I am so glad to hear that Ortho is in good hands. He could probably tell you which ones are Idia’s favourites when he sees them 😭

Anonymous asked:

Does Malleus get jealous of new lovers in Lilia’s life?

Yes and no, I think. He isn’t always super jealous, he knows that Lilia is a popular guy; but a lot of Malleus’ calmness regarding this topic comes from the fact that he knows that Lilia could have hundreds of boyfriends, and none of them would take Malleus’ place. Malleus is way too special in Lilia’s life, what they have with each other could never be recreated with any other boy.

But this is also one of the reasons for Malleus’ pettiness. Malleus feels like he is entitled to Lilia’s attention, and always has this feeling that he is kind of neglected by Lilia. Sometimes he is just capricious and cranky and wants Lilia’s attention, and Lilia is busy out there doing other stuff with someone. And this isn’t right >:(

Anonymous asked:

Also in reference to the Rook and Epel pic on kofi, I’m about to ask a jacked up question which you are more than welcome to avoid but did Rook know how Epel would react and was…turned on by the idea of inducing fear and/or panic in him? Is Rook turned on by these negative feelings in general? If so, he’d LOVE Idia.

Don’t worry, Anon, you know us: what you just described was pretty much the idea lol

I think Rook expected Epel to react this way. He knows that Epel is tougher than he looks and that he lived close to the nature, so to speak, but in his eyes Rook sees a boy who hasn’t really encountered real blood before, especially blood of a wild animal that you’ve just killed. While Epel is tougher that he looks, he is also softer and more pure than he looks, so of course it’d freak him out. The only thing that Rook didn’t know was just how much it would. So yeah, he really really wanted to see Epel feel this wild animalistic fear and suffocating guilt, and Epel’s reaction wasn’t disappointing.

As someone who used to have a hard time understanding and expressing his own feelings, Rook is very drawn to the whole spectrum of emotions, and even the most negative ones he finds beautiful. And arousing too! I think he is pretty fetishistic about this whole thing and gets hard just thinking about how strongly one might feel about something. So seeing Epel killing an animal for the first time and being so panicked because the reality of what he did just hit him? One of the tastiest things in the world.

Alright you get the idea, Rook kinda thought Epel would scream and shiver, but the fact that he reacted the way he did was so much hotter.

And YES Rook would absolutely love Idia. There are a lot of reasons for him to be into Idia to be honest, and his range of emotions is absolutely one of them. While Idia isn’t really a “running through the forest” type, and is difficult to catch outside of his room in general, whenever they do get to interact, Rook is tickled by the potential this boy has. Rook would probably compare himself to a cat playing with a mouse.

Anonymous asked:

I notice you said that in the Azuide marriage AU there were other bad ends besides the one where Idia gets caught trying to escape and some of them were where they stayed together. Could you pls elaborate? >:3

Sorry for the late reply, Anon!

To be honest, all possible scenarios for these two are kind of “bad ends”, even if they end up working through their differences, maturing together and becoming a loving and functional couple of adults: their circumstances would still make the scenario a bad one somehow simply because we love the emotional anguish of it lol The possibilities are endless.

But if we talk more specifically, here is at least one bad ending with these two staying together that we actually discussed with Katsu, and if I remember correctly, it’s pretty much “the main storyline” of the AU:

Azul becomes more and more powerful; his business grows and becomes a monopoly that can’t be stopped because he is backed by the Shrouds + has built a lot of other useful connections with the elites, including governments of different countries. He doesn’t influence Styx too much, but it’s mainly because he needs to maintain the image of being open to a compromise, plus because he didn’t find a way to abuse the blot research to his own advantage yet. He doesn’t want to rule the world politically, but when food, clothes, housing, medicine and a lot of other parts of everyday life are controlled by the big and scary Ashengrotto corp, does he even need to do anything else?

Idia still does his thing, i.e. whenever he isn’t busy at Styx, he sits in his dark room and doesn’t talk to anyone. He still invents stuff, but doesn’t do it as much anymore, because whatever he creates either becomes a new best-selling gadget, or ends up being used by Azul and his goons to maintain the power he has. Idia tells himself all the time that he doesn’t care about the state of the world, and people are idiots for trusting Azul so much and basically allowing him to grow this big, but he knows that this isn’t really fair, and that Azul is a manipulative bastard that only gets more and more greedy with every new passing day, like a caricature version of himself. But all of that doesn’t matter, because it’s not like Idia can do anything about Azul, so he drowns himself in escapism more and more, and avoids people to the point that he doesn’t talk to anyone at all, even when he is at Styx. Ortho is still with him though, of course. So he lives in a bubble and probably even loves it that way.

When it comes to their relationship, Azul thinks it blossoms beautifully. He adores Idia, he is obsessed with Idia and his control over Idia’s life has gotten stricter. He makes sure that Idia is being watched at all times, doesn’t allow anyone to see him (so yeah at least he stopped forcing him to come to business parties). And Idia isn’t necessarily in love with Azul, but the way he treats him is a comfortable reality now, even if it’s suffocating. It is suffocating and painful sometimes, but at least Azul would gently stroke his cheek and giggle while saying that Idia doesn’t need to do anything, because Azul will always take care of things.

[violetisderp]

2 posts in a row egahaahhh, but new AU, now I have 5 🤷‍♀️

There all shared with my little brother lolol

So ig I'll explain this slightly cause- yeah- I can-

(Im sorry)

So, ig the best way to word it as he has 2 forms? The normal one ig and the uh- winged form.

He's the same height, I just for some reason rew ine smaller.

All that happens is; he gets horns, wings and face markings (tail and the black part of of his eyes change)

I just thought it was a silly idea cause I saw posts where he has wings and I'm like; hm.

He's the only one in this AU with wings (although originally i debated given some to DogDay and maybe the others to.)

He's not evil or anything belive it or not.

He dosnt like his wings or other things (i havnt decided why this is a rather new idea) he can willing despawn and respawn his wings and things although if he gets to injuried or stressed they just appear and can't go away u till he claims down lolol.

His personality and age? I haven't decided ethier, i think since in my other AUs he's always 7-12 so in this one I'll make him his cannon age 22 (Along with the McDonald's AU, im also realizing i forgot about DogDay when making the McDonald's AU so- i dont know how to add him in help-)

Anyways, his friends with DogDay in this one, yes the hour of joy happened, yes he hid his wings and stuff for awhile but eventually the others found out (idk how yet)

That's all I got for now lol, sorry for the 5p essays I just like to ramble.

[ohnococo]

JJK Parenthood HCs

Nanami, Todo, Gojo, & Sukuna // no curse au

(under the cut for length)

Nanami is the informed parent. From the moment he knows his s/o is expecting he’s reading and researching and making sure he’s prepared to give his child the best life possible. He does so well too, his patience and gentleness towards his children is amazing.

You’ll never see him complaining about middle of the night wake ups, the most you’ll get is a little frustrated breath through his nose (though never in front of the baby). He isn’t put off by tantrums, or food going flying, or a little destructive streak. He knows it’s all developmentally appropriate, he knows it’s to be expected, and he knows how he reacts is important.

His favourite age is 1-4, when they start really communicating and opening up to the world. He loves explaining things, and answering questions, even if that answer is sometimes “I don’t know sweetheart, but let’s find out.”

He can be stern when appropriate, holding firm boundaries even in the face of flying toys and stomping feet, but he really is a softie for his child. “Will you stay until I fall asleep Daddy?” Well he’s going to be curling up uncomfortably in their tiny bed until he’s fallen asleep himself. The sore neck in the morning is worth it.

“Daddy you’re the Trash Princess, I have to slay you and stop your family’s cruel reign.” He’s taping an empty chocolate wrapper to his shirt, donning a tiara, and getting stabbed by a plastic sword as many times as needed to make his baby laugh.

Todo is the hype parent. His sweet baby angel has done nothing wrong ever.

He’s incredibly supportive too, whether it’s a sport, music, art, anything. He’ll be looking for classes to sign them up for and anything they need to be the best at it. The only thing he asks is that whatever his kid wants to do they do with their whole heart - and they’ll surely have the confidence for it with how he’s raised them.

Picture that parent that’s screaming in the crowd like it’s a pro game during little league games. Or the big beefy guy crying at his kid’s dance recital because they’re just so skilled it moves him to tears. Or they’re at a spelling bee and he’s in the crowd telling everyone around him that his kid is an actual genius.

His partner needs to temper the ego their child could potentially have, but otherwise he and the kid will be thick as thieves. There might be some choppy waters when they hit that age where they’re filled with uncertainty over their interest and pursuits, and it’s hard for Todo to be okay with them taking that time to be a little aimless if they happen to want to distance themselves from any kind of after school activities, but in the end he will understand that happiness might come in a form he hasn’t yet thought of.

Gojo is the fun parent. Brownies before dinner, jumping on the bed, staying up late to play games.

Until then though, the newborn through toddler stage absolutely throws him. It’s not the sleepless nights, or the messiness, or the worry about germs. It’s the confusion. When his baby is upset he can go through the checklist of “fed, clean, comfortable,” he can sing and rock them, or try to distract them with toys. All things he’s heard could work, but sometimes that just doesn’t matter. He doesn’t like feeling helpless like that, but a child’s emotions are unpredictable and he has to get used to that.

The 4+ stage is his favourite, they love his silliness, they love how seamlessly he goes along with their antics. This age is when his kids are absolutely in the palm of his hand, so don’t be surprised when they have a strong parental preference for him and complain that no one else does the voice for their favourite stuffed animal right, or no one else knows just how much milk they want in their cereal.

He’s just always ready for any adventure with them. They want to go camping? He’s buying a tent and setting it up in the backyard that night. They want to stop by McDonald’s on the way to school? They’ll only be a little late. They have a convoluted play they’re putting on and they need grown ups to play the part of two horses and a dragon? He’s calling his friends and telling them it’s an emergency.

Don’t mistake it for weakness though. He will sit back and let his kid learn a lesson if they need to. Climbing somewhere they shouldn’t be? They’ll fall on their butt because they need to to learn. He’s also not a pushover by any means. He has no problems telling his kids no when he thinks it’s necessary. He just thinks it’s important to have wiggle room in some cases.

Sukuna is the tough love parent. Training wheels off his kid’s bike the second they managed to figure out everything with them still on. Pulling them out deep enough in the pool where their toes can’t reach the bottom.

It is certainly tough. But, it’s also certainly love. He expects so much of his child, he knows they can do it, he knows the world is only holding them back, he knows life will be easier if they have a thickened skin. But… his child pulls his heart open more than he ever thought. It makes him think of himself when he was young, it makes him think that maybe the things he went through weren’t because he was too soft as a child, maybe it was because the world was too hard on him.

He slips back into those old ways of thinking often. A cold “get up, you’re fine.” When they skin their knee because it was too early to take the training wheels off. A “sink or swim” when they panic in the deep end. But then he’s carrying them into the house to give them a popsicle while he cleans their knee. And he’s putting them on his back while he wades through the water, letting them cling on and practice their kicking every so often.

He’s a parent that thrives with a teen, to his surprise. He hadn’t been looking forward to it, to be honest, with the constant “just wait” doom and gloom parents get. Messy emotions, being unable to stand him, talking back constantly. It’s a lot for him to think of, especially once he’s just gotten into his stride with parenting and his kid thinks of him as a big tough cool guy. But then… the teen years go just fine. Sure his kid is dealing with the volatile emotions and social minefield that is being that age, but Sukuna speaks to them plainly, and it gets through to them somehow.

Sometimes there’s that “you just don’t get it” response, but never in an upset way. They’ve learned to take their dad for what he is at that point. They aren’t hardened, but they can roll with the punches. He isn’t soft, but he’s human.