#i will never not be angry about this trash-ass movie

[emeraldspiral]

It still haunts me how close they were to getting TROS right but then just dropped the ball in every conceivable way.

Like, they had Lando, they had Jannah, they had the idea to make Jannah Lando's daughter and explain that the First Order targeted members of the Rebellion so it doesn't feel like a forced coincidence. Then instead of taking the next logical step and tying it in with one of the actual main characters the story is supposed to be about, they instead went one step back and didn't do the Jannah being Lando's daughter thing so we end up with two characters introduced at the last minute who have nothing to do with the overall story and don't advance any of the principle character's arcs.

They already for some reason didn't do the obvious Stormtrooper rebellion idea. And I can only imagine the reason was either because they couldn't use anything that originated from Colin's script due to copyright or JJerrio just didn't want to use any ideas that weren't their own (not that that stopped them from just blatantly uncreatively copying everything in their own script anyway). But without that Stormtrooper rebellion plot, they were so clearly grasping at straws for what to do with F1nn. Ultimately all he gets is a promotion to General and Force powers, neither of which actually do anything to advance his character arc. Because JJerrio only think in terms of things they can give characters to make them better escapist fantasies for audiences to project onto like titles and ranks and fancy weapons and magic powers, rather than what's actually going to make a compelling story.

They had all the ingredients and somehow it just didn't occur to them to make F1nn Lando's son and Jannah's brother. People were expecting a parentage reveal and throwing a tantrum when they didn't get one with Rey, and if they had done that it would've felt like an actually clever twist that messes with audience expectations while still making sense. Plus, then they wouldn't have had to do that stupid fucking Reypatine twist that irreversibly ruins her character. It would've felt like an intentional misdirect that people were so hyperfocused on Rey they didn't pay any mind to the fact that F1nn's origins were also a mystery.

And it would've been a compelling end to his story! Like, F1nn spends his whole life as just a number and then by leaving the First Order he regains his humanity and then as a reward is reunited with the family he was stolen from as a child, which definitely wouldn't have happened if he hadn't chosen to stay and fight with the Resistance. And as a bonus, it's his actions, not the Force, that inspired Jannah and her friends to also leave the First Order. So he's also responsible for saving his sister from becoming cannon fodder and dying a faceless henchman. This also raises the stakes for him at the climax of the movie, because we don't want him to lose his father or sister after he just got them back, so we're more concerned for their survival.

This could also be used to move Rey's story forward as well. Because while F1nn's getting his family back she's trying to be happy for him, but part of her is jealous and resentful because she's still grappling with the fact that her parents are gone and they never loved her. Then that in turn helps her better understand Ben's feelings of abandonment by his family and why he felt like he had to turn to the Dark Side and push them away to escape the pain. Then the story ends resolving everything that was set-up from the very beginning of TFA. F1nn fully reclaims his humanity and regains the family he was robbed of while Rey and Ben make a new family together and give their kids the childhood they were robbed of.

And the thing is, they could still do this. For as much irreversible damage as they did to so many characters in that last movie, nothing in TROS actually prevents F1nn and Jannah Calrissian from being canon in another movie or series. Not even the actors saying they played F1nn and Jannah as a potential romance. If anything, that just adds to it because Luke and Leia were played that way in the beginning too. It's like poetry, it rhymes.

[angelkhi]

hi! i loved your fic about abby so much! really one of the best I've ever read <3

can you write hcs about abby and how supportive she would be with her girlfriend being a volleyball player? like.. help her before an important game, the sexual tension when they argue after reader lost a-and all

thank you for everything!

i hope i did this justice! thank you so much for the ask and the kind words!! <3

prefacing this by saying my knowledge of volleyball (and most sports in general) are ranked somewhere between -0 and 0%. (i’m a formula 1 girlie i like cars going zoom)

this is generally sfw but it gets a bit smutty as per (minors do not interact i know where you live i’ll make your parents take your phone away😡).

pregame!abby who gives you snacks and water, feeding you information on the other team (which you’re sure is not allowed).

pregame!abby making you a playlist to hype you up, sneaking silly songs in there to make you de-stress a little.

pregame!abby sitting you on her lap, hyping you up in front of your teammates, whispering in your ear how good she’s gonna fuck you if you win.

wholesome pregame!abby who kisses you on the forehead, who tells you “go get em baby” before every game. (she can’t resist swatting your ass as you leave).

pregame!abby getting all handsy with you, riling you up before the game so you can take it out on the other team.

pregame!abby letting you re-braid her hair when you get all nervous and fidgety before a game.

game day!abby who wears your gets mouthy with the ref over every tiny incident, standing off to the side arms crossed.

game day!abby who cheers louder than anyone else, shouting “that’s my girl” every time you score.

game day!abby trash talking the other team, pretending it’s someone else when the ref looks her way (she’s on her final warning).

game day!abby giving you pep talks between sets, making sure you rehydrate, reassuring you when your team is down a few points.

postgame!abby letting you sit silently in the passenger seat, hand on your thigh. after a loss she knows you’re disappointed in yourself even though it was a team effort, but she also knows coming at you glass half full will just piss you off.

postgame!abby doing little things, running you a bath, stocking up on your favourite snacks, ordering your favourite takeout, putting on your favourite movie even though she thinks it’s dumb.

postgame!abby who’s been waiting for you to snap, knowing that at some point all of that self depreciation and anger is gonna come pouring out.

postgame!abby knowing that you’re not angry at her, nor do you mean to take it out on her but she’ll take it if it makes you feel better.

postgame!abby refusing to touch you until you fix your attitude, making your moods even worse. it’s a game of cat and mouse, who will cave first? (she knows it’s you)

postgame!abby doing everything she can to get under your skin, lingering touches only to deny you later on, sitting you on her lap lips tracing your neck, fingers skirting along your hips until you reach a breaking point, then nothing.

postgame!abby finally having enough of your bratty behaviour, pinning you down against the plush sofa, completely overpowering you, crowding you with her scent and her touch not giving you what you want until you ask her.

postgame!abby who definitely edges her pretty girl until she’s quite literally on her knees begging for it, and then overstimulating you until you’re a blubbering mess. she’s so in tune with you, she knows it’s exactly what you need to release that tension. to finally talk instead of pushing her away.

postgame!abby who praises the shit out of you. yeah you both get off on it, but right now she’s all about rebuilding your self esteem and a little bit (a lot) of praise never hurt anybody.

postgame!abby with the sweetest aftercare, bathing you, wrapping you up in the comforter, hydrating you, feeding you, letting you talk. telling you how proud she is no matter if you win or lose.

just sweet abby and her volleyball girl <333

[hexedwinchester]

Cry Wolf

All right folks! Time for some Cry Wolf commentary. No major spoilers that will ruin the plot in case you haven't seen it. But a lot of rambling on Jared's character is granted (c'mon this is a Sam and Jared Padalecki blog, what do you expect)

Is that Dr. Wren from Pretty Little Liars?!

and isn't Dodger the same actress who played Goddess Vesta on Supernatural? The "duct taped and safety pins" chick? Is there a clip of her and Jared's reunion on SPN set?

Tom: i just wiped my ass 🤣🤣 how did Jared deliver it so straight faced?

I've said it before and I'll say it again a million times Tom from Cry Wolf is my Stanford era Sam 😭 ❤️

Tom: c'mon Regina, you love to be a bitch 🤣

Ahh is this the set where he met Sandy McCoy?

ahh Tom is supposed to be from Texas? Jared, baby, so proud of his roots

oh my! So the group yanks up their shirts almost to the point of full frontal to reveal whether they carry the mark or not but when it's Tom's turn, we just get a sneak peek from the pulled down vest?! No! I need him to take off his shirt!

is that Jon Bon Jovi?! He is an actor too?

Tom is my Stanford era Sam but from Bizarro earth! He is a frat boy, rich and spoilt, calls people bitch to their faces and doesn't care much about studying. And he likes to dress up for halloween! Your honour, i still love him 😭

My god these kids are jerks. Using someone's death to play a game of lies?

Hmmm, granted I first saw this movie ages ago (even before I knew Jared from SPN) I never realised they didn't plan Tom and Regina's death in the sequence

when one of the professors barges into Owen and Tom's dorm, there's a picture on the desk and I could be wrong but it looks like Jared's prom picture

ahh the good old days of AOL instant messaging

really Tommy boy, throwing blocks in swimming pool without looking?

TEXAS SUCKS yikes!

Ok that pic is definitely Jared's

There he is.. there's my Stanford era Sam, being all angry and towering

Tom, ewww!! Don't pick up the bloody tongue stud! And ewwww.. don't taste that blood even if you think it's corn syrup

Tom in shorts!

Really mercedes?! You think chasing someone down dressed as a killer is a good joke?

Huh? Is that Tom's car? That tiny hatchback?

Mercedes, you fool

Tom being pissed about his trashed laptop is so Sam coded

now things are getting serious and the lies are becoming truth!

I am not going to ruin the plot for people who haven't watched it and would want to

All in all I love the movie. The setting is quite nice, the direction and music cues are on point. Not too many jump scares but ones in it are nice. All characters are quite believable and the whole movie keeps you guessing what's true what's a hoax. It's a good thriller. It's a slow burn but it does build up quite nice and if you are on a rewatch y'all notice a lot foreshadowing which in my opinion is a sign of well thought plot. I have seen a lot thrillers and this one was still quite twisty

@mykindascary if you are active, I gotta thank you for creating this gif of Jared from Cry Wolf! It's delicious. Everyone say thank you!

I swear to god the only gifs I found were of Jared Padalecki 🙈

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

The trades right now showing what utter bootlickers they can be, and I want to call it out.

Taking Bob Iger’s whole “less messaging, more entertainment” nonsense that he emphasized last year when evaluating the box office losses of WISH and THE MARVELS and other assorted Disney films, the writer of this trash is basically saying “Yeah, he’s right! Appease the angry people who call everything ‘woke’ and you’ll see great box office! Fuck marginalized groups!”

Yeah, never mind that INSIDE OUT 2, DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE, and MOANA 2 are all sequels to big hit movies. Never mind that last year, “woke” movies like BARBIE and OPPENHEIMER made shit-tons of coin. Yeah, never mind all of that!

It was erasing “woke” from the movies that saved Disney’s collective rears this year, didn’t it?

It’s no surprise that Variety, one of the trades, would publish such a dunderheaded article like this. And one that seems to hand it to Ben Shapiro of all people… That whiny asshole… It only gets worse from there… No link, I'll save you the brain damage for the most part.

And then they center the seemingly-disastrous budget-ballooning SNOW WHITE - due out in three months - as the film that could stop this hit streak, mostly because star Rachel Zegler (already getting needless flack from hobby-less losers because she’s not a white woman portraying Snow White) said some mildly political things online in light of recent world happenings. Disney once again not having their stars’ backs, much like how they didn’t when most of the sequel trilogy actors - namely Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, and Kelly Marie Tran - all got harassed online…

If SNOW WHITE flops, it’s because it cost $240m (due to all the reshoots and mishaps, and all that CG all for a problem that could’ve been averted in many ways but Disney chose not to) and that audiences just weren’t down for a movie that just looks like hokey slop. Sorry if anyone here wants to see it, but to me it looks like the nadir of these live-action/CGI remakes that have long outstayed their welcome. A ghastly companion to the 1937 animated feature that is monumental for several reasons and is so much more than just some “outdated” “85-year-old cartoon” that this movie is apparently surpassing, I just- Ugh-

Anyways, yeah. I get it. Disney’s a big-ass corporation. Expecting them to tell the far right to fuck off and just go see another movie (like, say, a waste of time like AM I RACIST?) will likely never be in their agenda. They want to get those near-billion grosses for their movies, which is unsustainable to begin with. And that means they need everyone to go see their movies, even bigots from all around the world.

Ya know, Disney used to let the Bible Belt dictate what they could and couldn’t do in the 1970s, and yeah… How’d that work out for them? Eventually, it’ll catch up with them when they run out of films to sequelize. They’re not gonna launch franchises out of new originals if they keep pumping $150-200m into them and expecting them to be these gargantuan behemoths in a post-outbreak era. But no, if those movies (like ELIO, HOPPERS, and Untitled WDAS 2026 Original) bomb, they’ll just blame groups who could use more representation.

And the thing about appeasing that whole beast is, they’re gonna find new things to call “woke”. Soon, movies about merely being good to others or fighting evil will become “woke”. I’m surprised they didn’t attack INSIDE OUT 2 because it has a central female character and a lot of prominent female characters, I’m surprised they didn’t attack MOANA 2 because it’s about an adventurous girl who also isn't white. They will get mad about those kinds of aspects, eventually… They did back in the '90s, for sure. POCAHONTAS and MULAN and such were often called "politically correct". You know that dumb meme that goes around on twitter, saying "Disney was better at doing diversity when they didn't try"? Yeah, those movies were attacked back then, too. The language was different, that was all. Politically correct, woke, now it's "DEI" or some such shit. We all know what the words reeeeally mean...

Which is why Disney should spend less on their movies and stop letting these miserable people who hate art unless it caters to their limited worldview... tell them what to do. That all seems to be Bob Iger’s goal, having each and every movie go BIG or go home. As such, Disney experiences such high highs and really low lows…

After he departs, I can only hope the next CEO embraces something a lot more balanced in both the big budget films and smaller movies that aren’t 20th Century/Searchlight endeavors.

How come little ol’ me can figure this out and not- Ya know what, never mind.

Last decade, the STAR WARS sequel trilogy, several Marvel movies (such as BLACK PANTHER and CAPTAIN MARVEL), and stuff like ZOOTOPIA and COCO came out… Most of those films hit during the Trump era, or at least when he was running for President… They had “messaging”, they fit the right-wingers’ definition of “woke”, they lean lefter than righter… They came out before a pandemic hit and when most audiences could afford a family night out to the cinemas… They were ripped to shreds online by pathetic man babies, but they made beaucoup bucks at the box office. People wanted to see those movies, they liked them, and continued to see them. Most audiences just like something that’s well-made, and they see said things because of that AND in many cases when it’s sold properly to them.

Now, we have losers like Nelson Peltz and Ben Shapiro being heeded by these studio heads and the trades… In this day and age, the first ZOOTOPIA, the first MOANA, they probably would’ve never been made. Or if they were, they would’ve flopped. And Disney and right-wing bastards would’ve blamed it on them being “woke”.

A sorry state of affairs.

That’s why independent is sometimes better. Stories made by people, for the love of doing it, and because they can, no dictators in corporate or whiners outside influencing corporate telling them what to do… One of my recent favorites is a movie like HUNDREDS OF BEAVERS. FURIOSA might be my favorite movie of this calendar year. The movies I gravitate towards year after year don’t do this “please everybody” bullshit.

Disney got to where they got doing the same… Hell, even Jiminy Cricket said it…

...

[razzek]

inspired by your tags on that gifset about blue eyed samurai: please tell me about the best and worst blind representation in media according to you

Had to wait until I was at a keyboard and had the energy for this one haha.

Honestly, most blind rep is bad, to the extent that I avoid anything touting a blind character on instinct. Unless another blind person is recommending it, I prep myself to endure, at best, a lot of tedious stereotyping, and at worst something that will genuinely make me angry. I'm always surprised when I can unclench a bit over a blind character and be able to say just "eh he's alright".

But! There are a few blind characters I do like! While they are not perfect and somewhat fall into the realm of "blind in name only" (where magic or something else makes them function more like a sighted person), Toph from Avatar the Last Airbender and Terezi Pyrope of Homestuck get my nod of approval. While they both have some abilities that make them seem more sighted (Toph's earthbending, Terezi's super smelling/tasting), I find they get at some of the heart of what it's like to be blind. Toph has a viciously sharp sense of humor and leans into peoples' low expectations to tear them apart and the show isn't afraid to crack a few genuinely funny jokes about blindness. Similarly, Terezi is a delightful smartass who actually uses a white cane correctly (woohoo!) while taking advantage of peoples' ignorances. And both of them have friends who treat them as people first, which is incredibly rare in any media we're in. Terezi also has a very powerful moment in which she undoes a magical cure for blindness, something I have never seen anywhere else, which makes her stronger but also strikes at something the able bodied community always takes for granted: maybe we don't want to live in your world. That moment by itself was enough to have me make an homage to Terezi in my legal name when I changed it.

I have only seen the one movie so far but I like what I've encountered of Zatoichi, the blind swordsman. The stereotypes he falls into are not western ones so that kind of helps, and he has a fantastic confidence which he masks by playing up being a helpless blind man. It's very satisfying to watch him kick ass endlessly. :D

Also Gareth or whatever his name is from Quest for Camelot; it's a dumb movie but I will always give extra points for a character using a cane like we actually use them! The movie gets points for not curing his blindness and for a joke I quote to this day ("What are you doing?!" "I'm driving!"). XD Points lost for face touching though, GOD. Stop doing that, sighted people! It's weird and gross and the only time I ever want to touch anyone's face is with my fist!

In terms of the worst, if I ever meet the author of this one book I read which featured a totally helpless, whining blinded knight who becomes a total asshole when he's magically healed (also fuck magically curing disabilities), I will beat them over the head with their own shitty book and then make them eat it one page at a time. I didn't even finish that pile of trash, it made me so angry. Oh, and the entire book/movie titled Blindness. I'm glad that motherfucker is dead because fuck that guy. Not only is it a massive insult to the blind, it shits on what people are really like in a crisis. Honorable mention to that one very dumb movie where the blind war veteran is the movie monster, but it is at least good for a ton of laughs right up until it just veers off a cliff into "what the fuck?!" canyon, after which it is just a singularity of stupid.

[majaloveschris]

People who watch the movie even after seeing how he treated his own fans, you do realise by watching that you're supporting him and his racist ass and his racist girlfriend.

You are all showing us that they have no problem with racists and any outrage to him was performative and a tantrum

The ones who spent months highlighting Chris Evans’ association with these racist fat phobic idiots, and still willingly chose to watch this trash, your anger is just a performance

Don’t spend your time writing a thesis film review here if all you’ll do at the end of the day is support him and his association with literal trash bins. It means you don’t care about racism as long as it doesn’t directly hurt you.

I've expressed a million times that I don't agree with this whole PR shitshow, that I think he made a mistake, and that this will forever stick with me and us, but I guess people still can't understand it and can't apprehend that I'm not okay with this situation. 

You don't know anything about me or those who come here to my page, so you have no right to tell whose anger and disappointment is performance. 

I'm so sorry but I can't believe he is racist, fat-phobic, and antisemitic because he is around them. We all know it's not right; we all know it's not okay; we are all angry and disappointed, but I still think he isn't like Alba and Justin. 

I've always been more angry at Alba, Justin, and Kiko, who've actually shown us that they are indeed not really good people, and I've never denied my opinion about him and where I stand. 

I'm sorry for the rant, but I'm losing my patience. I hate that people are trying to twist my words and tell me how I actually feel about things. If you dislike me this much, you can block me. 

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #28: Double-Crossed!

January, 1988

Happy New Year, West Coast Avengers!

Zero Hour for Zodiac!

Hal Jordan is going to try to reboot the universe on them?

Good.

Anyway, Zodiac. They’re still happening.

Last times in West Coast Avengers: the Zodiac comprised entirely of Life Model Decoys that aren’t decoying anyone killed the Zodiac that was comprised entirely of the Venn Diagram between crime lords and astrology nerds. Except human Zodiac Libra who faked his death by taking a nap. And human Zodiac Taurus who ran off to go get the (West Coast) Avengers to fight the LMDs for him.

The West Coast Avengers, on Taurus’ advice, interrupts LMD Zodiac’s robbery of a cattle auction. Hawkeye accidentally shot LMD Sagittarius in an archery duel because someone jostled his arm. Zodiac ran away and their leader Scorpio made a new Sagittarius that was identical to Hawkeye.

Zodiac ambushed Hawkeye when he was on his way back from seeing Wonder Man’s movie. He dunked on them for a while but he got coldcocked and LMD Sagittarius Hawkeye went back to the West Coast Avengers’ Compound to infiltrate the team.

Sagittarius Hawkeye learns that Taurus is working with the Avengers and passes the information onto Scorpio. But then he runs afoul of a subplot. Mockingbird killed Phantom Rider in the past times and lied to husband Hawkeye about it. But Sagittarius Hawkeye being cold to her (because he doesn’t want to have to pass as a devoted husband) has her convinced that Hawkeye suspects. She gets some advice from Nick Fury and decides to confess to Hawkeye. The LMD undersells the confession so Mockingbird slaps him - DISCOVERING HE’S MADE OF METAL!

Mockingbird and Tigra who shows up destroy the LMD Hawkeye but unbeknowst to Mockingbird, Tigra is ALSO an LMD, the new Zodiac Leo.

Hah, I like that Double is written over Star-Crossed.

Not knowing that Zodiac knows that the Avengers know their crime plan, the West Coast Avengers bust into the Denver Mint.

Bust in through the ceiling.

Iiiiiiii’m sort of wondering whether the cost to repair that giant hole in the ceiling is more or less than how much money the Avengers are going to prevent Zodiac from stealing.

Hank Pym even thinks that they’re going to have to pony up the rest of their operating budget for the year for the damages.

Leo (not Tigra, the dude Leo) crows that Zodiac outnumbers the Avengers two to one. But. C’mon man. You have twelve man team and get consistently stomped by smaller groups because you all suck so bad.

Iron Man flies right on ahead and tries to zap the Zodiac Key out of Scorpio’s hands before Scorpio can block the zap. But again fails.

And Mockingbird swoops right on ahead and demands Zodiac tell her where Hawkeye is.

Scorpio: “You mean Hawkeye’s missing, Mockingbird? What a shame!”

Mockingbird: “Don’t give me that! You kidnapped him and substituted one of your lousy LMD’s!”

Virgo: “Hey! We’re LMD’s!”

Mockingbird: “Yeah! And I’ll trash you the way I trashed your ringer unless you talk!”

Hah.

Fun interaction.

Virgo wishes people wouldn’t be so vitalist at her. Anti-vitalist? What do you call being racist but against robots?

Leo tells Scorpio to just admit that he kidnapped Hawkeye so Scorpio does but refuses to say where Hawkeye is now.

Mockingbird gets real angry at that but Scorpio don’t give a care and doesn’t scare... that easily. He’s been dead before so, like, whatever, lady.

And now that Zodiac has enough silver from the mint piled on their escape... ship? Scorpio decides to use the Zodiac Key to transport Zodiac away.

It. It, uh. It has a slow start up.

But it does kick in and Zodiac teleports out, leaving the Avengers to bemoan that they had been kicking ass.

Leo Tigra jumps in to say yes, she was kicking ass too, you bet!

Hah, if you look through the pages between the Avengers arriving and Zodiac leaving, Tigra is never really fighting anyone. Good touch.

As the narration reminds, Tigra has been replaced by a Leo LMD and the Avengers have no idea.

Leo Tigra suggests that the Avengers go consult human Taurus Cornelius van Lunt since he keeps predicting what Zodiac will do.

As the Avengers leave the mint, Iron Man complains that the problem is the Zodiac Key. And then makes the baffling comparison that when the team was lost in space-time, finding a second (working) time machine was how they won. But there’s no second Zodiac Key that will counter Scorpio’s.

Because. TWO DIFFERENT SITUATIONS, TONY.

The whole problem in the lost in space-time arc was that the Avengers were lost in space-time! Like it says on the tin!

If you’re bringing this up like this, then this story better end with there being an inexplicable second Zodiac Key, that’s all I’m saying!

Leo Tigra asks Iron Man to exposition dump about the Zodiac Key to her. Which Tony is happy to do!

I assume Tony is happy to explain a variety of things.

So he explains how once he, Daredevil, Madame Masque, and Nick Fury (what an odd collection) were sent to another dimension by the Zodiac Key, a dimension ruled by a group called the Brotherhood who created the Key.

And this is wild. The Zodiac Key thrives on conflict but their dimension became too peaceful so they yeeted it to Earth where there’s conflict to spare.

While the Avengers West Coast go into the Quinjet where Taurus is chained to a chair that’s just a little too small for him, Moon Knight hangs back.

He wants to use his own astrology knowledge to see if he comes up with the same answer.

And... yes! Both of them predict Zodiac went to Death Valley because of “the positions of the Moon and Pluto.”

Meanwhile in Death Valley, Zodiac teleports in.

Scorpio crows that he’s got the West Coast Avengers chasing his tail without their leader but non-Tigra Leo decides that its time to get on Scorpio’s case again. He decides that Scorpio sucks butts because his secret substitute Hawkeye was discovered.

Since Scorpio isn’t telling the other Zodiac about his also secret substitute Tigra, he tells Leo to stfu.

Leo: “That’s easy to say! But even though Scorpios like places called Death Valley -- death comes here through the power of the Sun, which is my orb!”

Virgo: “And it’s a Virgo sun, which empowers me -- and puts me on Leo’s side in this!”

These astrology nerds make me so mad.

Scorpio actually agrees, regretting that he made them all “so responsive to [their] particular astral influences” which means ‘base every thing they do on astrology. Every thing. EVERY THING.’

But just as he’s winding up to the ‘I brought you into this world, I can take you out’ the Avengers’ Quinjet shows up overhead.

Scorpio prepares to shoot down the Quinjet with the Zodiac Key... but Iron Man hopped out of the Quinjet on approach so he could fly in from the back while the Quinjet made an obvious appearance.

He finally traps the Zodiac Key in a grape-flavored magnetic beam before Scorpio can counter it.

The Quinjet lands and the West Coast Avengers rush out to start punching.

Non-Tigra Leo goes to fight Wonder Man, saying he’s been wanting a one-on-one with him. Scorpio, Virgo, Aquarius, and Capricorn attack Iron Man to try to free the Key. Libra and Gemini go to fight Mockingbird. Aries attacks Hank Pym and his amazing pockets of holding. LMD Taurus and Cancer attack Moon Knight. And Leo Tigra pretends to fight Pisces.

Despite being outnumbered four to one, Iron Man is Iron Man. In contention for strongest guy on team. Wonder Man can punch harder but Iron Man has a lot more variety. And with the Zodiac Key neutralized, he doesn’t have to be watching his back for it.

So he punches Capricorn into robo-goat chunks. Aquarius accuses Iron Man of being robo-racist and tries to short out his armor but Iron Man just throws him at Scorpio. And Virgo tries to sneak up on Iron Man with her energy siphon like she did when she was working for Quicksilver but he was expecting that.

Truly, Iron Man rocks.

I do wonder. These dudes are robots. Why do some of them have innate powers and others have external tools they need to work with? Fine and fair enough for the Zodiac Key. That’s a special case. But why does Virgo have a big blocky energy siphon she has to carry around? Why does Aquarius have a gun attached to a tube on his back?

Scorpio sucks at making Zodiac-themed Life Model Decoys.

Meanwhile, Wonder Man has no trouble fighting with Leo. Mockingbird beats Libra and Gemini by jumping out of the way so they run into each other... I swear, these guys suck so badly. Do these two even have any superpowers?

Leo Tigra shows up with a ‘defeated’ Pisces in tow and tells Mockingbird she’ll watch the defeated LMDs. Dr Pym kicks another one over - Aries in a big clear hamster ball. And Leo Tigra tells Iron Man she’ll grab the ones he beat as well.

But instead, she grabs Virgo’s energy siphon and connects it to Iron Man.

TREACHERY! Also, perfidy!

With Iron Man being drained, the magnetic beam holding the Zodiac Key dissipates and Scorpio is able to grab it and send the Avengers sprawling.

Since he loves a good gloat (and since the literal cat is out of the bag?), Scorpio gloats that Tigra is actually the new LMD Leo!

The old Leo isn’t thrilled to learn that he’s been obsoleted though.

Scorpio: “That’s right! I don’t have to take your abuse any longer! You’re finished!”

Abuse meaning any second-guessing whatsoever.

Also, this was a really stupid move of Scorpio, telling one of his allies he was going to betray him before he was actually ready to betray him.

But Leo isn’t going to sit back and just accept being replaced. He tackles Scorpio and wrestles over the Zodiac Key. And then Wonder Man jumps in too and now all three of them are wrestling over the key.

(Fucks sake Wondy, you’re supposed to be able to punch as hard as Mjolnir hits and you can’t win a tug of war?)

Scorpio keeps hold of the Key and tries to use it... but once again, the Key has performance issues and nothing happens.

Not-Tigra Leo: “Replace me, will you? Replace your backside!!”

Wonder Man: “Replace -- EVERYTHING!!”

And Leo and Wonder Man do a one-two combo, which voids Scorpio’s warranty.

Also, kills him. ‘Kills’ him?

Good thing we’ve already established that it doesn’t really count if you kill an LMD because they’re not Real People.

I love that Aries is still stuck in the hamster ball. That’s great. You’re doing an amazing job, Hank.

But the Zodiac Key suddenly floats into the air and resurrects Scorpio and the other LMDs that have been deactivated.

Dammit, Zodiac Key! People die when they’re killed!

Scorpio gloats that the Avengers can’t kill what isn’t alive. Which is more of a self-own, really. But the Avengers are ready to just never stop punching these dudes.

But Scorpio has a slightly different and much dumber plan in mind. He commands the Zodiac Key to transport them all to the Zodiac Key’s original realm.

The Key does not do this so Scoprio yells at it to get with the program.

The Zodiac Key: “It would not be a good idea, Scorpio!”

Scorpio: “What do you mean? You love conflict and you’ve taught me to love it! If we stay here, we’ll kill the Avengers eventually because we can’t be stopped, but it’ll just be the same fight over and over! Let’s make their murders interesting!”

The Zodiac Key: “Scorpio --”

Scorpio: “Listen, I’m tired of your balking! I know you saved my life, but I’m not your lackey! If you want some conflict with me, you’re going to get it!”

Never before have I seen a hoisted petard so laboriously foreshadowed and also earned by the one about to be hoisted.

There’s a special kind of hubris to talking over the magical reality-altering vaguely-Ankh shaped ‘key’ that gave you life.

They Zodiac Key does give into Scorpio’s whining and Zodiac and the Avengers both disappear from Death Valley.

Leaving human Taurus Cornelius van Lunt alone, unsupervised, and immediately ready to misbehave. The chain the Avengers chained him up with is long enough that he can reach the radio, so he uses it to call some of his old mob flunkies to come set him free.

Meanwhile, the Avengers (and also Zodiac) have a crazy-ass journey through the pink dimension.

The narration tries to sell it on being more trippy than that but, look, this isn’t the kind of wacky scenery that Kirby used to do on Fantastic Four. It’s a pink void with some debris.

Anyway, upon arriving in the Zodiac Key dimension, all the Zodiac LMDs immediately drop dead, like the Zodiac Key was trying to tell Scorpio.

The Zodiac LMDs can’t function in this dimension because they’re all so obsessively themed after the Zodiac, they can’t function in a universe without those same stars.

And nothing of value was lost.

God, Scorpio was an idiot.

The Zodiac Key goes on to say that the reason why it didn’t seem to work sometimes is that Scorpio was trying to get it to do something that would end conflict. And that the Key was not inclined to do.

(Makes you realize how shitty an ultimate weapon the Zodiac Key is. It won’t let you beat your opponent.)

But with the Zodiac stupided into nonfunctioning, there needs to be some new conflict. So the Zodiac Key blasts a mountain and reveals Hawkeye and Tigra fighting the Brotherhood!

So that’s where those two wound up!

Convenient that they were right nearby!

Dr Pym realizes that if they go to help the two Avengers, the Zodiac Key will assist the Brotherhood and decide to take out the Key first.

Leading to the embarrassing fight sequence of the West Coast Avengers failing to stop an inanimate object.

Wonder Man tries to grab it, it just zaps him. Mockingbird catches it through the hole with her stave and Dr Pym with an unshrunk net but it drags them into the sky. Iron Man tries to catch them but it CLANG!s into him hard. It dodges Moon Knight, who attributes his distance from the Moon as the reason he sucks.

After this whole page of embarrassment, the Zodiac Key flies over to the Brotherhood who immediately forfeit the fight.

The Key actually tips the scales too much. Hawkeye and Tigra gave them a good fight but the Brotherhood were better and had numbers. They let Hawkeye and Tigra live to get as much fight as they could.

As we just saw, the Key by itself just wiped the floor with most of the team. With the Key and the Brotherhood, they’d easily wipe out the team.

But then they wouldn’t have conflict again.

Mockingbird: “Only the Whackos could end up in a war where we win because we’re sure to lose!”

Iron Man: “I don’t accept that we’d lose -- !”

So salty, Tony.

The Brotherhood says they’ll return the West Coast Avengers to Earth. Annnnnd then sometime later, they’ll send another Zodiac Key to fuck with them.

Iron Man: “I don’t like that at all -- !”

Hawkeye offers to do some more fighting here if they can get a better deal than ‘someday we’ll fuck you over’ but no dice. The Brotherhood have made up their minds.

The Brotherhood: “Then let this Key open the door betwixt dimensions one final time -- and let the Avengers begone!”

The Zodiac Key: “And let them wonder -- ‘when and where will Scorpio return?’”

Hopefully never and nowhere!

Why can’t the Zodiac be interesting???

Which is to say, this is not the Zodiac story that finally wowed me. Its funny that Scorpio basically seized defeat from the jaws of victory and stupided himself to death. But there were twelve of the fuckers and they only got interesting when they started be imposter Avengers.

Anyway.

The West Coast Avengers return to Death Valley.

Mockingbird tries to tell him about the murder or manslaughter she did do to Phantom Rider but loses her nerve when Hawkeye praises her as “too good an Avenger” to be fooled by a fake him and that he knew she’d never let him down.

Oof.

Inadvertent guilt trip.

So she tells Hawkeye never mind about the thing she wanted to tell him.

Annnd. Yeah. Van Lunt Taurus bailed while they were gone, just like he said on panel that he would.

Moon Knight: “He swore his vow -- to the Moon -- ! The Fist of Khonshu must now show him his mistake...!”

The Zodiac drama continues... this time with the last meat Zodiac.

Except Libra, who faked his death by taking a nap.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because it’d be a nice, encouraging thing to do. Like and reblog this post too. It’d be a nice, encouraging thing to do.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Kakashi, for all the questions.

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

I love Kakashi because he's dorky, kind-hearted, always trying his best even when the world is against him, and just generally a really good dude even though he has some pretty solid reasons to turn cold and angry to the world.

I dislike that he doesn't know what is too much in training (that genjutsu he put Sakura under on day one, my DUDE), that he wants to save Sasuke and see's how much Sasuke means to Sakura and Naruto but continues to support Konoha and admonishes Sasuke for his anger, that he continues to hero worship Obito after finding out all the horrible things he did, and that he's such a rude ass sometimes (but also i kinda love that he's a rude ass. it depends on the situation lol)

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

that he's so open and friendly even after all he has lost. this man has every reason to close his heart off to new people and avoid creating new bonds but instead, he opens his heart wider and becomes friends with people in an instant without concern or restriction. even when he has just fought them.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

his hero worship. not even just of Obito, but of people like Minato and even Lord Third (though that one is much less. He seem's to recognize that Lord Third is kinda trash but also doesn't question Naruto when he hero worships the old man)

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

so MANY THINGS.

Pokemon and Star Trek are my main two though. Places where he'll excel and his intelligence can really shine through.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

I'm a Mess by Bebe Rexha

The Other Side by Huge Jackman and Zach Efron

Rescue Me by One Republic

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

You want a list?

Kakashi's the worst Sensei.

Depression = Incapable of caring for himself

Kakashi did nothing for the plot (huge plot points require Kakashi and his past to even make sense at all)

Kakashi's so weak (against gods ya, but among regular ass shinobi he's top tier)

Kakashi taught Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto nothing (straight up lies)

Kakashi didn't care about Sakura (lies)

Kakashi favoured Sasuke (Lies again. Seeing parts of himself in Sasuke and knowing Sasuke needed extra aid/protection due to the current circumstances =\= favoritism)

Kakashi didn't care about Gai (LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES)

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Probably. He's cannonly very neat and organized. Would get his ass kicked for keeping his shoes on inside, but otherwise i think we'd get along <3

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

Yes, definitly. He's lots of fun and generally just nice and that's all I need to be friends with someone. Plus he'll choose me as a friend without issue and make me mingle with people which is exactly what i need

11. Would you date this character?

*Shoves Kakashi out of the way* Absolutely not. I do not want to be dating someone who reminds me of myself. Give me Gai instead thanks :)

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

I headcanon that he has fangs and that he wears his mask because he realized everytime he smiled his father got a little sad so he wanted to hide his smile. He never realized this was because his smile is a copy and paste of his mother's and Sakumo was seeing his wife in Kakashi.

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

what a time to be on my laptop instead of my phone XD

Umm any dog Emoji as well as the thumbs up emoji

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

Terrible.

Man doesn't know what fashion is and i appreciate that for him. If i had to choose a specific fashion i'd go with the 'History professor' or 'Literary professor' fashion. whichever one has sweater vests XD

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

KAKAGAI (Though i'm sure no one is surprised by that XD)

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

Ummm so not counting one's that make me uncomfertable/i won't interact with at all

KakaO*bi and KakaR*n are probably at the top, but right next to them would be KakaM*i.(censored so it doesn't go into the ship tags cuz that's rude)

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

KakaAn*o. I used to really love the ship but the way some (most) of the shippers treat it i just lost interest so hard, but can still write for/enjoy it in my own little bubble

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

Kakashi and Gai!!! I love their friendship so much T.T it's sweet and they rely on each other so much.

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

Kakashi's relationship with Minato <\3 I wish Kakashi had been allowed to get angry with his Sensei, and the people who put a teenager in charge of a broken traumatized child. I hate how he views Minato as this great person who did so much but refuses to understand that he did MORE (largely cuz he survived longer but still) and i loath that he looks at Minato as some sort of hero and never recognizes that the way Minato handled him as a Sensei were terrible and made a lot of his situations worse/did nothing to actually help. Like, Kakashi screwed up as a Sensei but you can tell he's trying his best and genuinely cares about his students.

With Minato it feels like Kakashi was a burden to him that he didn't want to deal with most of the time.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Kakashi and Gai is the obvious choice

But also Yamato. I really hate how Canon did Yamato so dirty when he was clearly Kakashi's other best friend who deserved a lot more respect and care.

[macchiatosdumptruck]

I like how you self-identify as a filthy multi-shipper... because so am I. What are some of your ships? (Feel free to give as comprehensive an answer as you'd like.)

I'm gonna guess this is for tkk/CK. (If I went into my ships from other fandoms this would be a book. )

Hmmm. So. When I joined the fandom upon the release of S3, I was drawn in specifically by lawrusso. I had just started petering out of the IT fandom and they reminded a fair amount of Reddie. The angst with the possibility of slow burn with a happy ending got me.

But at the time there were some very good silverusso fanfics that I had read out of curiosity.

Once I watched the movies (after I watched seasons 1-3) I gained like 38366262 ships because Daniel is my fandom bicycle and I want everyone to get a ride.

I can and have shipped him with most tkk/CK characters because I find each ship to offer something interesting.

I started out a lawrusso stan. I still ship them. It's a ship with good bones. Unfortunately some negative sides of fandom (Daniel haters) ruined it for me for a while. But they're still one of my main ships and I have 2 wips for them currently. My favorite flavor of them is angry teen lawrusso.

My relationship with the ship changed a lot between the before and after of watching the original trilogy.

Obviously, I'm silverusso trash. Everything about them fascinates me. Plus it's highly aesthetic and lends well to a large number of my kinks. I also prefer them on the angsty side (I mean, it is canon. Plus the toxicity of messed up ships is like. The explicit appeal. ) but have been known to indulge in some fluff au's. It's the ship I've written the most for and get asked about the most. It's full of delicious horror romance tropes tbh. Or, if you want. You can go full angst and whump Daniel hard.

I also really ship danzen, even though I should write more for them and finish my wips of them. Chozen has one of the most interesting character arcs of any of the "karate rivals." It's a true enemies to lovers ship. Only Chozen is also like a night in shining armor now. His character development relies heavily on themes of shame, acceptance, and forgiveness. Daniel literally changed Chozen's life in a way that CANNOT be understated.

I also shipped LaBarnes before it was cool (I say as it has like... 6 shippers lol. ) Out of pure curiosity. Mike doesn't have a lot going on in the movie and that made him a fun character to play with. Especially the angle of "I'm in it for the money." Plus he keeps calling Daniel things like sweetheart and saying he owns his ass so...

And then his redemption in CK s5 gives us a lot to play with as well.

Daniel and Ali I ship as cute goofy teenagers figuring things out.

KUMIKO IS Daniel's FIRST TRUE LOVE. And I will fight people on that. It's love that was meant to be then wasn't. Two ships passing in the night. They changed each other forever in their short time together, and obviously never really "got over" each other. It's sweet and pure and heartbreaking.

Daniel and Amanda I ship because they give so many bi4bi #gender goals vibes. Amanda is just as unhinged as Daniel, and I think he needs that. I think they balance each other out in a way that really works. They subvert the typical tropes of a male/female romance with their character types. Also the height difference is hot.

Daniel and Kreese is something I never thought I would ship, but eventually the brain worms got to me. I just find Kreese's mind so morbidly fascinating. He was truly obsessed with Daniel. Why? There is so much to play with. Plus, it's also aesthetically pleasing and anons have tricked me into writing domestic au's for my hate-fucking ship.

I ship Daniel with all the Cobras. Usually as a group although I do think Dutch had something Going On given how he acts in the locker room scene. Incredibly feral.

There's probably more that I'm forgetting, and I'm not gonna get into the ot3's or I'll be here all day. Lol.

(whatever the fuck is going on between Kreese/Silver/Daniel has bewitched me though. )

💜

Edit: I forgot I also wrote samtory and cobra husbands. Samtory are feral angry girls and I love that for them. I ship cobra husbands only in the most heartbreaking way.

[eltigreslasher]

Message about what I have been going through (Need to Vent this out):

Ok, a lot of people on my YouTube career have been giving me a lot of negative vibes and I am gonna do a prep Talk and discuss why I don't want to be associated with these people on YouTube or any other social media because I have trust issues with them and they remind me about the people who I will have to talk about as we are here.

1. The first person I need to bring up is Laura Mocanu, Laura has been stealing other people's artwork and it has been pissing me the hell off because I was her victim apart of her art theft bullshit when she stole my bang Design from my hedgehog when I was making designs of my character but with Good mixtures of my own hairstyle and apparently Mocanu has stolen my hair designs and I decided to not share any of my Artworks online because she is apparently still doing it which I cannot take the risk anymore and will say to Laura Mocanu is to Leave me alone and stop other people's arts and stop being a groomer to fucking adults even your a 16 years old Minor who wants to be sexually abused. So as for that you're blocked and I never want to see your face ever again.

2. The second person I want to bring up is SuperMarioWilliam. William Schall has attacked me and bullied me on YouTube since August 2020 over a project me and Fionn O Connor @foc2006 had created for the first time as a movie Career Actor. He has harassed me and Fionn far enough to the point that Fionn had enough drama and decided to leave YouTube. It was a terrible tragedy for him to leave. William was overlapping me with an actor request and Me and Fionn decided to call the acting requests off the hook and William didn't even get the part and still got mad and angry over my Career because I have more content than he does because William's content is trash and disgusting for me to watch so I had bad histories with him and I had to block him off after he harassed my friend Fionn and so many others I cannot recall. But I just want William out of my sight and two I saw what SuperMarioWilliam looks like in RL and he is a grown ass man who pretended to be transgender which I am disgusted and two I even kept all of his proof videos against me when he said he's a the good one which clearly he is a bad guy towards me. So I'd say he's trying to get attention for fucking views. Even worse is Aries Morgan (Her Now Ex Girlfriend) cut ties after the drama happened and they both never talked ever since which I was happy it was over for them. But when I got attacked by him in 2022 he still didn't learn his goddamn mistakes. So my other Boyfriend, Mason Deacon has to dox him and get him into serious trouble and he pussy out and hasn't came after me ever since. I'm glad that taught him a lesson. So as for that, he is blocked and never to be seen on YouTube ever again. Good riddance.

3. The third person I want to bring up is Nathan Kissel (My Ex Boyfriend)

For people that know about Nate, he was a good guy at first and had a good time with me and my friends especially with my career and all. But apparently I was told by one of the individuals saying he was grooming children behind my back. And yes this is true it really did happen. And two, when we started dating in 2022, he had gotten me into Rule 34 and made me the horniest bitch among all people in my group, it spreaded towards my career and I dunno what I could do at this moment but all I wanted to say is, I'm done with Nate and I wished I never met the guy.... I despise the man.... I even lost my other friends because my old actions that really effected me like a virus. So as for that I had to leave a few communities I was a part of and was never to be seen again because of him making me look like a joke. So I'm done with this drama and I am done, so as for that, I have officially blocked Nate and I don't want to be near him ever again Case closed.

(That is all I can say for this case there is more to come by tomorrow so keep an eye out for more victims on my list tomorrow Stay tuned)

[tarynisbunhead]

Alright so back in November I had someone contact me over on Zazzle, back when I had the calendars up for sale. They liked my restored/colorized images and were impressed by my research on the newsies and movie stars.  They asked for an interview, I did some research and discovered this person released articles for The Oregonian, so I accepted.  This person, Tom, is a journalist and did several interviews in the past, so why the hell is it that an interview he set up, he forgot?  We rescheduled the next day and......phone reception was trash, which he knew that location had that problem but went anyway.  To be honest, I wanted to just call it off because I had better things to do than sit and wait for this fool to maybe call for another interview, but my ex was excited with the idea of me being interviewed so I agreed to reschedule.  On the third day, Tom and I were able to get the interview done.  We talked about my restoration work, my work as a historian and in silent film.  I didn’t like that when we started talking about my job as a historian he kept bringing up other people, and talked like they knew history 1000x better than I did.  I know what I know and continue to learn everyday, what the hell?  Anyway, before parting ways he let me know he'd keep me posted.  That never happened.

January rolled around and I contacted Tom, asking how things were going.  He told me The Oregonian wasn't interested in my story because Longview was too far away......................what?  Okay first of all The Oregonian has run tons of stories on colorizers and their work over the years, why would mine be any different?  Second, my location has literally nothing to do with my art.  So if The Oregonian rejected my story, I don't believe it was for THAT reason.  In fact, I don’t believe the newspaper rejected me IF they were told about me because my hometown is celebrating 100 years, that would be an opportunity I would think.  So I’m just putting it out there that Tom never told The Oregonian about my story.  Tom did assure me he had another ace up his sleeve, there was a magazine he was affiliated with called Old Stuff Magazine.  And again he went silent.  Why am I the one who constantly has to contact him?

Last night I sent an email that basically asked "It's been seven months, you had a plan, what's going on?"  As angry as I was, I didn't use nasty language or hostile wording, just came right to the point.  Tom took it way too personal, and at the same time exposed himself in his response.  He said that he pursued the story as far as he could.......okay if you hit a dead end why not just contact me and be fucking honest about it?  Say "Hey sorry but I can't find anyone who wants to print the story" but instead there was this need to hide information from me.  He then went on to say he offered my story to publishers pro bono out of respect to my work - Are you serious right now?!  Pro bono means free of charge, you didn't even get in touch with me and discuss that!  Also what publishers did you talk to?  So far the only places you've told me about are The Oregonian and Old Stuff Magazine, so unless you give me business names you're straight up lying.  Holy shit I know the scam, I used to tell my parents "I went to stores and asked for applications", that really meant I went to two stores.  Oh and then he ended it with "Some stories just don't pan out.  Given the tone of your message, this will definitely be one of them."  In other words, he got caught putting my story on the back burner and doing nothing with it.  All I did was ask a question, no hostility or profane language and Tom went full blown unprofessional by trying to make it out like I attacked him and he's the victim.  Fuck off dude.  It’s been seven fucking months.

I found his Facebook two months ago and he posts a bunch of newspaper related memes, from Superman to anime.  He also posts about going on assignment, on location, and there's posts of him going on family outings but there's NEVER talk about meetings with publishers.  Asshole got caught, he's not a victim in this at all.  How many months did it take for those other assignments to get released?  Probably not seven months.  All he had to do was contact me and let me know the truth, like a fucking professional but he didn’t do that. I thought about contacting The Oregonian, but they'd probably side with him and it'd be a huge waste of my time.  Anyway, here's what NOT to do if you're a journalist.

[throne-for-queens]

"I vividly remember him saying he was on his way to the movies to see Transformers, and that he was wearing cologne for it". Yeah, because Megan could smell him through the screen, right? Or was it that usually he stank? He didn’t bother washing his bum (“old school kells probably had a smelly ass”) or using perfume if it only meant laying up with his baby mama, right? I mean, why bother with hygiene when you're not trying to impress anyone valuable? At this point, I’m honestly surprised neither he nor her or his fans have come out to say he was too busy staring at her—Megan’s image on the poster—while he was penetrating the girls East Cleveland had to offer. But hey, who could blame him? It's clearly way more thrilling to look at a movie poster than, you know, actually respect the people around you, not that they deserve it, right?

Even if it’s true that Fox was his crush—something he never mentioned—if Megan had to be twin flames with and married to every guy who liked her in that movie, she'd be married to about one-fifth of the men born between 1965 and 1996 who liked her in that film.

The only living person who could confirm this detail about the poster is his baby mama, with whom he used to sneak into his room and vice versa. However, I doubt she'll emerge from her anonymity just to confirm or deny it. Now, imagine if it were her who paid for those tickets or bought him that cologne. You gave a guy the food stamps you received, bought him personal hygiene and care items, and paid for your 'best friend's' dates together, only for him to turn around and make the moment you partly, if not entirely, made possible all about the white woman who ultimately led to his "dream child" (or at least that’s what the sources claim). Then, by exclusion, what was his Black child to the media? A "nightmare" child?

If there were one person who came out to expose him, I wouldn’t be angry with it being his first baby mama. I trust she’s rational enough not to smear his name for no reason, and she’d definitely bring receipts with her—especially since he admitted to putting the woman through some serious bullshit. The Vlad moment is just one of the few we know of. Fortunately for him, she’s too classy and values her daughter's mental health enough not to stoop that low—maybe when Casie is much older, one day.

Colson wasn't unemployed, he worked jobs so I'm sure he could afford a movie ticket. I tried to find the proof for his manager saying it but did not, but his manager may have been the one to take him. Let's also remember that he was living with Ashleigh at the time as well, so his shelter situation was covered. He also had a vehicle, that beat up old white car that he was roasting in an old kellyvision. He mentioned one line about her food stamps keeping him fed, and as someone who's been on government assistance as a child, it doesn't imply that you don't work, it just means your money doesn't stretch far enough for food. He even mentioned having Jay z tickets and trading them with is manager for a day off, the guy may have been homeless at times but that wasn't always his situation.

Now the cologne comment wasn't found in the original tweet, but he did live with slim and Dub as well, so he could have just borrowed some.

He admittedly put Casie's mother through trash for the first 5 months of her pregnancy, but they are friends and have been friends for decades, I can find no reason why she would come out of hiding to talk to the media, when colson has worked so hard to keep the privacy she has.

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Even more ROTTMNT headcanons

When Mikey was 5 years old he got super hyper-fixated on roller coasters 

Splinter found a book about roller coasters and brought it home for Donnie 

He finished the book in a day and gave it to his brothers because he wasn’t that interested

Mikey read the whole book and fell in love with roller coasters

He constantly asked Splinter to take them to an amusement park so they could ride one 

And once he found out that he couldn't ride one and Donnie couldn’t make one (give the kid a break he’s 6) he broke down

So the boys came up with an idea 

Mikey would go into his shell and the boys would toss him around

Obviously, this wasn’t safe and it sounds a lot funnier than it actually was 

But those were some of Mikey’s favorite memories because his brothers taught him how to make the best out of a shit situation 

Donnie used to be the biggest crybaby when he was younger 

He could be happy, sad, or hurt and the tears would follow 

But his brothers never made fun of him (most of the time)

If anything they encouraged him to cry

Leo used to say “crying is like coughing. You cough to get all the bad stuff out. And you cry for the same reason” (this is something my nephew told me and I thought it was the cutest thing)

Donnie called him stupid after he said that but crying didn’t feel bad after that 

But as he got older the tears became less frequent

The only time when he cries now is when he gets frustrated, angry, or sad

Leo got the nickname butterfly chaser when he was younger 

It wasn’t uncommon for his head to be in the clouds

And it was tough to tell if he was actually listening to you or not because he always has a spacy look on his face 

The only time he was truly focused is when he was doing something physical ie sports or training 

His intensity used to scare his brothers

Which is why he stopped training after a while 

He hated how focused his brain was 

And he hated how his brain would pick apart his brothers and show him their weaknesses 

He didn’t like that he was progressing faster than his siblings 

It didn’t matter that he was the one moving ahead because he felt left behind 

So he stopped training and put all his focus on comic books instead

Because he can’t hurt his siblings with comic books and movies 

When Leo gets embarrassed he will hold onto his siblings 

He’ll grab their hands or their arms and tell them to “shut up and go away” while laughing his ass off

Raph thinks it absolutely adorable because it reminds him of when Leo was little

Raph used to carry the boys around everywhere 

They would be sitting and relaxing and Raph would pick them up and walk around 

They were like sentient little teddy bears 

Leo had a nasty habit of biting his brother when he was younger 

And it isn’t even because red-eared sliders are cannibals he just liked to bite things

And after his brothers bitched to their dad about Leo biting them Splinter “bought” him teething toys 

The boys didn’t make fun of him because if they did he would just bite them again

Donnie hates stickers 

Absolutely despises them

He hates the feeling of the sticky side and the nonsticky side

He hates the marks that they leave behind

Anytime a part of a sticker touches him he loses his shit 

And Mikey loves stickers 

And when he’s pissed off at Donnie he’ll leave stickers on his tools 

So Donnie has to do his least favorite things 1. Apologize and 2. Ask for help

Leo Donnie and April are the biggest shit talkers in the group

They have a group chat dedicated to talking trash

They taught April Japanese so they could talk shit in public 

And there are times when they don’t even have to say anything they can just look at each other and lose their shit 

And Raph hates talking shit 

Any time he complains about someone he feels guilty immediately and apologized afterward

 Doctor Delicate touch will occasionally show up in their group chat to join the shit-talking sesh (no one knows how he does it and they’re too afraid to ask)

[mocolococoffeesimp]

How about some Bridget relationship hc?

I am enjoying my favorites getting some love.

-She is bit of a airhead, which means you have to remind her of stuff. New bounties, that she has to go after, to cook dinner, take out trash. Even date nights.

"Bridget, are you ready?" You found her in the living room, watching a action show. As she turned to face you, you noticed,she was wearing. An over sized hoodie and nothing else. She blinked couple times in confusion, before remembering. "Oh my god! Give me ten minutes, I'll be ready in that time." And, with that she ran to her room, to dress up for the date.

-She is extremely chill in a relationship. You have never seen her get even slightly angry. When you get frustrated with the dirty dishes and say about it, she will do it for the next week straight with a smile. She doesn't want neither of you feel hostility in the relationship.

-She likes to paint her nails, often asking for you to do her nails. And, than she will ask, if she could do yours. She is very excited to do your nails, when you say yes. She will let you pick a color, she doesn't want you feel uncomfortable with them. Will be extremely happy, if you start painting your nails just every now and then without her

-She tried to teach you jojo tricks. It did not go well. She tried to explain you the basics on how to do it a basic tricks, but you ended more often hitting your face with the jojo. She will chuckle at couple first times, when you hit yourself with it, but after fifth time she is starting to get worried about bruises.

-Bridget is very cuddly person, with you and Roger. This often leads to Roger joining your cuddling sessions. You will glare daggers, at Roger when Bridget isn't looking. Usually, this works and you get to spend some time with Bridget without interruptions.

-Roger third wheels your dates sometimes. Not usually, but sometimes. He wants to make sure you're the one for Bridget. He would hate to see her sad. Roger over times accepts you, but he is still suspicious over you.

-Ghost/Bug eviction. No matter what kind of bug, you are there to protect Bridget from them. She will rely on you for bug protection. When you learned about her fear of ghost, you considered busting Roger's ass out. But, you knew how much he meant to her so you decided to keep it a secret.

-She hates horror movies. But, despite that she will watch some. More often shielding her vision with a pillow or covering behind you. She wants to train herself to be able to handle stressful situations, so this a safe way of practicing. Watching horror movies, with her.

-Naps on you. She claims, that you make the best pillow for her to sleep on. You aren't complaining, as she very cute when she sleeps, but the cuteness factor drops down by ten when she drools on your shirt.

-Do not try bitter food or anything bitter with her. She will be suspicious of your cooking for a long while, refusing to eat it, unless she has seen you cook it.

-Affirmations about your relationship. You have to assure her, you think she is extraordinarily pretty, and you are happy to be in a relationship with her. Hugs and small kisses are the best way to assure her how content you are in a relationship with her.

-Hoodies. So many Hoodies. She got so many hoodies, you're pretty sure you could own a hoodie store with them. This had led to you borrowing her hoodies. And, in return she borrows your clothes.

-She tries to happy, even when she is having bad times. But, you have to assure it okay to be sad sometimes. This makes her tear up, as she hasn't had a environment where she could be vulnerable for so long. She will cry against, your shoulder wondering how she got a such a wonderful partner. This also means, you can be vulnerable with her. She will do same things, you did with her. Which is cuddling with some sweets, while watching a show. This approach has worked for both of you getting you out of your slump.

[here2bbtstrash]

freaky ideas you say mwahahhaha 😩😩😩😩

okokokok, so

i’m thinking something along the lines of maybe toxic/gaslight king taehyung like a real kinda nate jacobs kind of situation (not tooo crazy like nate but just the manipulative part) but he’s that ex you love bumping into while drunk or horny bc he’s an amaaaazing lay but he always pulls u back in to fall for him but u know he’s bad and he knows he’s bad, he just knows he take steal you from any man

welp this was fun 🥴 i literally refuse to reread this so sorry if it's trash or riddled with errors lmaoooo hope u enjoy tho !!!

send me more freaky ideas!!!!!

pairing: taehyung x reader wordcount: 737 (look mom i did a real drabble!!!!) contains: tae is legit toxic, reader is too lmao, drunk hookups, a literal dick-measuring contest, taeCONDAAAAA, unprotected sex, don't ever let any man talk to you like this y'all i'm so srs

“What the fuck?”

You sit up so quickly that your tits bounce painfully with no shirt or bra to hold them steady. The alcohol numbing your mind puts you on a five-second delay to process what’s happening: first, the realization that you should probably attempt to hide your naked body; second, the realization that your ex has just walked in on you fucking someone else.

This would be a problem for anyone. But it is especially a problem when your ex is Kim Taehyung.

“I thought you locked the door,” your hookup– you have admittedly completely forgotten his name– grunts as he scrambles to cover his bare ass.

You thought you did too, but honestly, you are not in your right fucking mind right now. You definitely remember spinning the lock ninety degrees, but as you think back on it, you may have spun it back the other way when you were trying to figure the thing out.

Too drunk to remember how doors work means way too fucking drunk to be around Taehyung. There’s a reason your friends made you change his contact name to ⛔️⛔️DO NOT FUCKING DO IT DRUNK BITCH⛔️⛔️.

You’ve been good. Two months without Tae might be your new record.

When he tilts his head to the side with that cocky-ass look on his face, you just know you’re not making it another hour. “You really are up here letting somebody else take what’s mine.” Oh, you hate him so much. You need him to split you open.

“Who the fuck is this?” Your hookup sputters, eyes darting between you. “You have a boyfriend?”

“Ex,” you say simply. You haven’t moved from the position you were in when he was fucking you- on your back on the bed, legs spread, propped up on your elbows.

“Get the fuck out of here, dude,” he says to Tae, and he’s angry enough now to have abandoned any attempts to not be fully naked in front of a stranger. You have to smack a hand over your mouth to stifle your laugh. Taehyung looks equally amused, pressing his lips together as his eyes jump from the guy to you and back again.

“How about we let her compare then? Make her own choice?”

Tae is already in motion before your hookup has any time to process his words. His hands move quickly to the button of his slacks– he can never wear fucking normal pants, always has to dress like the lead character in a romance movie despite having the personality of an actual demon– popping it open, unzipping his fly, and pushing both pants and briefs down his hips in one fast, confident motion.

You unabashedly lick your lips at the sight and sound of his dick smacking hard against his stomach. Damn, did it get bigger?

Your hookup is laughable by comparison, and you know that’s exactly the point. Length, girth, curve, veins, overall prettiness: Tae has him beat, easily, in every category.

You should know. His dick has single-handedly ruined your life.

The poor guy’s eyes jump from Tae’s dick to his own several times in succession, and he clearly doesn’t want to stare long enough to feel gay, but you can tell he’s amazed. It is really the only possible reaction.

“And this is just a semi, king.” Taehyung spits the final word for emphasis.

All pretense is gone now: you both know that he doesn’t have to stand there and pretend to wait for you to make your choice. It’s been made since the second he walked in. “If you’ll excuse me,” he says with a final nod to the guy, and then his knees are sinking into the mattress between your legs.

“Fuck, Taehyung,” you hiss as he pushes all the way in. The pain of the stretch is no match for the pleasure of his cock filling you entirely, and your walls grip him so tight that you can feel every twitch and throb of him inside you. All your senses are dulled in comparison; you only vaguely process the sound of the door slamming shut.

“Maybe I should cut you off more often,” he groans in your ear as he grinds into you, thick head rolling over your g-spot in languid strokes that make you see stars. “You get so fucking tight. How about I remind you who this pussy belongs to?”

You already know it’s his.

[i-am-trying-my-best-okay]

In Defense of Clace (Something I Never Thought I'd Do)

I used to be really annoyed with Clary and Jace as a ship in TMI. I knew they weren't actually siblings due to spoilers, so that wasn't the problem, I just didn't like how they treated each other. Like, for example, during that one scene when Jace stopped Clary from coming to Idis, even though it might've helped Clary find her mom, because he knew it would've led to the Clave's attention and such. So Clary goes there anyway and Jace decides to instead of tell her the reason he didn't want her there, something in which he has no reason not to tell her, he decides to be really mean to her to get her to leave. Clary, who wasn't even there for Jace and was supposed to be there for her missing mother, decides to leave just because Jace didn't want her there, even though the mission wasn't really about him at all. This kind of represents the whole tone of their relationship really; Jace putting her in protective situations she doesn't want and also getting angry at her because he has no ability to communicate anything, and Clary also not being able to communicate very well and sort of ignoring the bigger picture in favor of her romantic problems. And there were other things too, like how Clary still got weirdly jealous of Simon finding other romantic prospects when she had no feelings towards him, and how Jace decided to think himself a monster because he's 'Valentine's son' despite Clary being Valentine's daughter and not thinking that of her. They both separately and together made me annoyed.

But now, I realize maybe that wasn't fair to them, that I was expecting a bunch of teenagers to have the emotional maturity of an adult. And honestly, the way they acted sort of lines up with their trauma.

Clary's has gone through a lot in a short period of time; her mom got kidnapped, she found out her life might have all been a lie, she's reeling from the ways of this new world, it's a lot. Anyone would've probably shut down or something, but that's not really something Clary can afford to do right now. She has so many strange problems at the moment, her mind might've just zeroed in on the one thing that was at least semi normal to her; romantic troubles. Just thinking of anything she can grasp onto for a sense of normalcy to be able to keep going the next day, to be able to do what life keeps throwing at her.

And Jace. He has a lot to unpack. He was raised by Valentine to be unfeeling in a sense, so any positive or vulnerable emotion he seems to have sends him into a spiral of self hatred, causing him to lash out. When he got out of Valentine's care, he went onto battle over and over again. All in all, he's never properly learned how to handle his emotions and how to communicate them. For all he knows, everyone might hate him for having positive or vulnerable emotions. And perhaps he doesn't think himself a monster just because he has Valentine's blood in him, but also because Valentine actually raised him for a time and Clary wasn't. There's also the thing of thinking Jocelyn didn't choose him to love but choose Clary, thinking this is some sort of proof that he was the bad one, the one not worth saving. This probably feeds into his unhealthy behavior of putting Clary on a pedestal and thinking of himself as trash.

With all of this, their relationship is understandably tense. Clary using this as an excuse to cope and Jace's continuous self hatred and their lack of ability to communicate anything causes a whole disaster.

But through it all, there was still the potential their relationship held. You know that one quote from the notebook movie? "You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing." That's lowkey them honestly. Clary has nerves of steel, and when Jace his pushing people away, she's just like 'yeah okay bitch shut up and tell me what's wrong' They fight constantly and in the worse ways, but they're both still here for each other.

And then, in TDA, it shows them as adults, and it's showing their relationship at it's best. They had moments like it in TMI, but now it really shows itself. There's still good old miscommunication with Clary not saying why she can't marry him, but there's no rage that comes with it from Jace, but rather an odd understanding. While he doesn't know what's going on, there's a trust that there is a reason. And the whole scene of the tent being pulled away during that war and they were just playing tic tac toe, sarcasm in full display, was amazing. This shows how they always had the potential to be together like this, but at the time they were just kids with too much going on internally and externally. But they pulled through that, and they somehow pulled through that together.