#i will hate myself tomorrow morning

[infernaleikon]

dancing with the stars obikin au.

imagine anakin is some sort of celebrity, maybe an actor who's not really a-list but he's starred in a few acclaimed independent films but is still waiting for his big break; maybe he's a celebrity chef who's hit a rut; and anyway, his agent books him the gig at dancing with the stars. anakin isn't super thrilled about it because how is this supposed to help him and also dancing?? really??? but he doesn't really have anything else going on at the time and it's better than nothing and it gives him exposure, so maybe it'll help with business and he agrees, though he complains about it a lot.

he gets paired with padme, who is pretty and kind and patient with him. anakin hasn't really danced before, at least not like this, it's really not his style of movement, so all these steps, getting the speed right, being rhythmic, it's all new and a bit challenging, and he feels like an idiot because he's not really getting it and thinks he looks like a fawn learning how to walk. it doesn't help that his heart's not really in it either.

anyway, he does get the choreography down for the first show. he dances with padme and he doesn't forget any steps, they get through without any horrifying mishaps and anakin is actually pretty happy with himself because he thinks it's a pretty big step up from rehearsals.

until one of the judges just sort of. scowls disapprovingly all through the evaluations of the other two. anakin can't help it that his eyes keep snagging on the man. at first it was because he's classically handsome, neatly groomed beard, immaculately styled strawberry blonde hair, a glint in his eyes that makes something behind anakin's ribs tingle. but then it's because of that look. the scowl gets deeper and deeper with each word the other two judges say. and they're being kind, praising the routine and anakins effort and how well he's done, this being his first time dancing and all.

and then it's the scowly judges turn to talk. his name is obi-wan kenobi and he's apparently A Big Deal with lot of experience, a keen eye, and not one to sugarcoat anything.

“well,” he starts and his voice is smooth. he has a crisp coruscanti accent that's dripping judgement and a bow to his eyebrow that's rubbing anakin entirely the wrong way. “that was...very lifeless.”

anakin feels all the blood freeze in his vessels. obi-wan goes on to say how substantially uninspired and crude the performance was. while anakin def has the posture for it, he didn't hold it, he was just going through the motions, the footwork was sloppy, the placement of the arms and hands was lazy, anakin moved akin to a construction worker stomping around a construction site carrying heavy machinery, and there was no charisma to be found.

anakin is flushed and angry and gritting his teeth through it all. “how about you come down here and do it better?” he finally snaps and there are some hoots among the guests and some hushes too. obi-wan just smiles, all teeth and sharp gaze, and says, “its too early in the program for that.”

anakin fumes for the rest of the night. his score isn't the worst of all the pairs but it ranges in the bottom half. he doesn't get eliminated which he isn't quite sure how to feel about because he didn't quite expect (or want) to stay on the show for too long but he also wouldnt have been happy if he really had to leave already.

anyway. the next show goes similarly. anakin moves on to the next round furious.

at the third show, anakin almost jumps over the judges table. Kenobi doesn't smile though, he looks thoughtful and unhappy. he ends his assessment saying that he sees development in all other participants but not in anakin, who instead seems like he doesn't even want to try even though he has so much potential to actually be good at it, and he doesnt quite understand why anakin keeps voted to continue. anakin is about to snap at him when kenobi adds that, well, a pretty face makes up for a lot, for many people. and that. that sort of shuts anakin up because. did kenobi just call him pretty???

anakin, in a rare moment of self reflection, thinks about what obi-wan—kenobi—has said, and then asks padme why she became a professional dancer and what got her into dance in the first place. and he starts paying attention when she teaches him, starts picking up little cues, starts getting the details of the choreography right, and the next show, kenobi is silent for several beats before he speaks. he doesn't sing the glowing praise anakin expected but his assessment is much kinder and more approving. “for the first time, it looked like you had fun,” he says at the end, and there's a smile on his face, small but genuine, “well done.” and anakin feels heat pool in his stomach.

he gets better and better with each show, he knows he does, he feels it, he sees it, it becomes easier and he's actually having fun. padme challenges him with tough routines but that's what he likes, and anakin pushes himself while kenobi's soft voice in his head tells him he's done well.

anyway. anakin and obi-wan start bantering because obi-wan, apparently, still finds things to criticize and it's driving anakin insane. but it's far less of the hard words from the beginning and switched to a teasing tone that anakin jumps on. every time he finishes dancing he's giddy for obi-wan's—kenobi's—assessment. and every time, when obi-wan—kenobi—lightly praises anakin's progress and the things he's done well, anakin flushes (though luckily that's always masked by the flush from exertion) and feels hot and tingly all over.

there's a portion of the show when contestants dance with one of the judges and anakin is thrilled when he finds out he's been paired with obi-wan—kenobi. the rehearsals are hot, sweaty affair. not only because obi-wan pushes anakin to new limits and heights with a demanding choreography but also because his hands are on anakins body, they're so close they're practically breathing each other's air, and obi-wan smells so good, he feels so good, and whenever anakin finally gets a part of the routine he's been struggling with right, obi-wan smiles brightly, happy and proud, and softly praises him, and it's all too much.

they of course end up being the fan favorites, the audience goes wild for their performance and their banter cranks up a notch after that and turns very markedly sharper and flirtier.

anakin thinks obi-wan likes him too. he corners him one time after a show, manages to get them to a quiet spot, thinking that, okay, maybe. maybe he can get confirmation. he's not an Idiot, okay. he's seen all the videos on the internet that very carefully catalogued all of obi-wans expressions whenever anakin dances or speaks to him.

but obi-wan rebuffs him. he's not unkind about it but very firm, and anakin is so horribly embarrassed and angry that he flees without even waiting for whatever it is obi-wan starts to say.

the last three shows are. tense. anakin is giving his best performances and he gets near perfect scores but there is no banter. kenobi is very professional and only comments on details that anakin could improve, and anakin just stares past him with an aching jaw and tries very hard not to burst into angry, embarrassed tears every time.

the final show comes and goes, it's a bit of a blur. during the celebration and the glitter raining down and the crowd cheering and everyone jumping and being happy, anakin catches obi-wans eyes across the floor, and there's. something. in obi-wans eyes. something hot and happy and soft and it burns, and anakin is still so raw from the rejection, he cannot handle that look, that he turns to padme and kisses her. it doesn't even mean anything, and he apologizes to her immediately, but when he looks back over, obi-wan is gone.

some time later, after the show has wrapped, they probably run into each other by chance somewhere. anakin wants to bolt. obi-wan still looks so good, and his heart is beating in his throat, and it's the worst, he just can't—but obi-wan stops him gently, asks him how he's been, how's padme, and anakin snaps at him, angry and hurt, and how would he know how padme is, he hasn't seen her since the final show.

“oh,” obi-wan says, so softly. “you're not with her?”

anakin snorts. “i was never with her.”

there are some moments of tense silence between them and anakin is ready to flee when obi-wan says, “i really wanted to kiss you that night.”

anakin sneers even though hope is suddenly right there, in his gut, behind his ribs, at the tip of his tongue. “yeah, right.”

“i wanted to explain to you but you left before i could.”

“explain what?” it comes out way too breathy and anakin hates himself for it a little.

“i was still going to be judging you, anakin. you were a contestant. it wouldn't have been right and if anyone had found out about it, we both would've been in trouble.”

“oh.”

obi-wan smiles a little. “i wanted to ask you if you could wait a few weeks longer because i definitely would've kissed you at the after show party.”

anakin flushes. “oh. that. that would've been. yeah.”

long story short, they bang. it's phenomenal.

anakin becomes a hobby dance critic on their couch at home and he's so terrible at it that it both gives obi-wan a headache and makes him laugh.

[kimetsu-chan]

I’m gonna be out most of the day bc I’ll be helping my dad with a big shopping trip plus being out after, so I’m going to be super duper exhausted

I don’t do well in crowded or loud places in the slightest, I get woozy and tired and I feel miserable or like I’m gonna pass out, and if the shopping isn’t gonna make me wanna cry, the outing after will bc it’s gonna be packed with lots of noise and people

I don’t say this because I want to complain, I just wanna give a super quick warning that I might not be active tomorrow as well as today bc when I get exhausted, my mental health tends to decline as well ;-;

so- a bit of a warning that I may poof a bit (sorry! 😣)

[phagodyke]

the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

[readingwriter92]

So I’m impossible to get out of bed at a decent hour unless I have plans or somewhere to be at a set time right? And along with all other aspects of my life. This year it’s just been like. More annoying?

So. I’ve been slowly trying to devise ways to force myself to get up.

Solution 1: watch on.

This is where I put on my watch when I turn off my alarm clock. I was hoping watch buzzing would wake me up better than phone buzzing.

Mild success

Solution 2: not setting any expectations

Like. My routine has always been. Get up. Get food straight away. But. Trying to change idea. Like. Oh. Just get out of bed. Don’t have to leave room/ eat yet.

This has had very very limited success

Solution 3: dead phone

I don’t charge my phone at night. If I let it be low when I go to bed. I can’t doomscroll when I wake up for as long.

Also not much success

Solution 4: anxiety

This I can’t control. But has had some success. Sometimes I just wake up anxious and that can. Sometimes. Motivates me to get up

So that brings us to the new idea I have had. Most of the work I need to do. Requires computer. Computer is far away.

What if? I put my laptop on a box right next to my bed? Then in the morning. I can just not even get out of bed. But still start working.

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

WHY CANT MY BRAIN BE FUCKING NORMAL

[omanu]

.

[autumnoakes]

i'm going to start slamming my head into the wall if this paper isn't ready to submit in 10 minutes

[threnodians]

got home from work earlier only to discover that my father is home which has legitimately ruined all of my fucking plans for tonight and definitely ruins all of my plans for tomorrow and tuesday and wednesday 🙃

[heartstopperlarrie]

The insomnia is really doing its thing tonight 🥲

[vacalimpia]

on the note of month daily challenges😁😁.... please drive carefully and mindfully. i am a bit upset tonight because getting back home i nearly crashed because a car in front of the car i was in stopped suddenly in the middle of a harsh turn at high speed??? we had to stop suddenly as well to not crash and now my neck hurts tons!!!! so i cant finish my daily drawing of today😢

I will pick it up tomorrow morning if i feel better if not... I will be annoyed but i will find a way. please drive with care... otherwise you risk putting 31 pieces of fanart for the most important game in history🥺 (joke at the end, but really😭 drive mindfully)

[stillgotme]

posted something in a discord server and people didn’t vibe with it so i guess i’ll jump off a cliff and they’re not gonna see me for 10-12 business days

[125storejuice]

.

[localcryptic]

there's nothing like putting your ocs that already exist into different pieces of media. Come on boy you're cosplaying today, go hang out with my favorite established characters

[lesbiansanemi]

In a turn of shocking events absolutely stunning no one more than myself, I might actually enjoy cooking and not only that, be good at it

[isdalinarhot]

the thing about being Addicted To A Recreational Drug is that some nights are honestly flops like you don’t feel any better you just feel slightly different and sometimes you feel worse. But good lord on the days you’re winning the dopamine lottery you’re really winning the dopamine lottery

[deadrlngers]

cannot fall asleep bc of the rage and bloodlust i'm feeling rn about the fact tomorrow is one week since i've contacted that coworker to get paid and i still haven't got any reply back and it's making my blood turn acid