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captainstressed · 2 months ago

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so ive been working on a post-breakup bucktommy fix it for a hot minute and she's almost finished so i wanted to share the first chapter here before i put the entire thing on ao3.

its starts from the 'tommy's bubbling me' scene from 8x07 except its from tommy's pov. its mostly hurt but i swear the comfort is coming!

title: i love you, im sorry. word count: 1341 chapter: 1 of 2/3

Tommy hit backspace, deleting the drafted text he’d written to Evan with a sigh. Dropping his phone beside him on the couch, he reached out to grab the open bottle of beer from the coffee table and took a long swig. It wasn’t far off three in the afternoon but Tommy couldn’t bring himself to particularly care; he’d come off shift within the last hour and wasn’t scheduled back in until the next day, it also wasn’t as though he was planning to have more than one or two. He needed a distraction, something to temporarily cloud his mind that wasn’t Evan. Buck. He’d lost the right to use his given name the day he walked out of his loft.

It had been just over two weeks since the break up; fifteen days if he was counting, which he was. He had ran the conversation over in his mind an infinite number of times since then and each time he hated himself a little bit more.

“Did you just break up with me?”

“Yeah. I guess I did.”

He slammed the bottle back down on the table with more force than necessary. He was a fucking coward. He’d been a coward back when he was at the 118 and he failed to stand up for Hen and Howie against Gerrard; Tommy had been battling his own internal demons but that didn’t excuse his behaviour then and it sure as hell doesn’t now.

He had told Buck that if they ended up moving in together, then the younger man would end up breaking his heart; something that he wasn’t sure he would be able to move on from. The irony of it all was that through his own cowardice actions, Tommy had beat him to it and succeeded in breaking it all by himself.

Bringing his hands up, he pressed the heals of his palms into his eyes. He felt the sting of tears and took a breath, willing them to remain at bay. He had no right to cry, not when this was all his fault. He had broken up with Buck; had panicked at the thought of moving in with him. Not because he didn’t want to, but because when his heart was inevitably broken, the fallout would have been too much for him to fathom.

Tommy wondered if this imaginary scenario would have left him feeling anything like the way he felt right now. His palms were wet, the stars dancing behind his eyes the only outcome of his efforts. Swiping the tears that were only replaced by more a moment later, he wiped his hands across his jean clad thighs and tipped his head back against the back of his couch.

His fingers itched to grab his phone; he wanted to call Buck, apologise for being such a coward, for joining the list of people who had walked away from him and beg him for another chance. It was selfish, he was selfish.

He didn’t deserve Buck; Hadn’t been deserving of being his first relationship since discovering his true identity. Buck had trusted him, had let Tommy in. The two of them shared words and experiences that were completely new to Buck and it made Tommy feel sick that he had taken these things from him, with the promise of protecting them and him only to run when his own insecurities got in the way.

Curling his hand into a fist, he bought it down on the cushion beside him. The movement jostled his phone and lit up his home screen; his background was a picture of an LA sunrise, which to anyone else wouldn’t seem particularly special but to Tommy it held precious memory.

It had been taken a few months prior during one of his early morning runs, by Evan. Tommy had mentioned to him that one of his go to’s for winding down after particularly gruelling shifts was to hit one of the many hiking trails and if he was lucky enough to finish a shift before the day had officially started, then he could sometimes catch the sunrise. It was a way to remind himself that in spite of the often tragic calls he dealt with whilst at work, a new day was just on the horizon and with it the renewal of hope and possibility of brighter times to come.

He’d thought the idea was beautiful and asked if he could accompany Tommy sometime should their shifts lineup. They ended up going one morning after Tommy had finished a forty-eight and Evan was due to start his own a few hours later. They’d found a perfect spot to watch the sunrise and paused their run to drink it in. Evan had taken a picture just as the sun was peaking over the horizon, setting it as his phone background and almost shyly explaining to Tommy that this way whenever he looked at his phone it would remind him of not only the reason behind it but also of Tommy.

It had been one of the many times in which Tommy had wondered how he got so lucky as to find someone as adorable as Evan. He’d even asked him as much, which earned him a blushed smile that Tommy couldn’t help but kiss off his lips. Before asking him to send him a copy of the photo and setting it as his own background too.

Tommy could have changed it in weeks since the break up, probably should have done if he’d had any desire to move on. He wondered if Evan had changed his; selfishly he hoped he hadn’t.

He stared at his phone until the screen went back to black, mulling over his scattered thoughts before picking it up and unlocking it. It reopened back onto his text thread with Evan, they hadn’t spoken to each other via text since Howie’s wedding and the memories of that day and night settled heavily in the pit of his stomach when he compared how he had felt then to how he felt now.

His thumb hovered over the bubble to start a new message; Tommy knew what he wanted to say, what he’d wanted to tell Evan even before they broke up. He had never called his own feelings towards Evan into question, self hatred threatened to bubble to the surface once more when he reminded himself that the only person he had called into question was Evan himself.

Evan who had never been anything but open and honest with Tommy from the start of their relationship. Sure, he’d put his foot in his mouth a few times at the start and sometimes he got a little ahead of himself, but it was one of the many things Tommy loved about him.

Tommy loved him. Loves him.

But he let him go because he’s a coward.

With a sigh, he tapped the bubble to send a new message but paused. After weeks of radio silence Tommy knew it wouldn’t be fair to drops these heavy feelings on Evan straight away. If at all a voice in his head snarked. What if he was too late? What if Tommy ending things had been the wake up call Evan needed to realise that though Tommy had been his first, he didn’t want him to be his last and these last weeks had just helped cement those feelings.

The thought caused him physical pain. His entire reasoning behind breaking up with Evan in the first place had been to shield his heart from inevitable break, but it had quickly become apparent that he was destined for this fate regardless. He couldn’t allow himself to consider that Evan loved him back. He hadn’t deserved it before the break up and he sure as hell didn’t now. The difference now however was that he felt as though he had nothing else to lose, and he owed Evan the truth no matter what the outcome may be.

Fuck it.

“Can we talk?”

Tommy held his breath and hit send.

#my first 911 fic attempt so please be kind #bucktommy #tevan #evan buckley #tommy kinard #911 abc #fanfic #tevan fic

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honeyhotteoks · 6 months ago

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do you have any advice on like getting better with writing?

hey! i definitely do!! i’ve talked about this before but i have a lot of new readers, so ill start off by saying i’ve been writing for my entire life, and im 30 so thats a lot of years. if you’re a new writer, trust me i used to be there and good god if you guys could see the stuff i published in old fandoms 💀 really, really bad haha

i only say that because i by no means consider myself a great writer, there are fic writers in this space alone that i’m always so floored by and look up to…. but people have been very kind about my writing style and it’s something that took time to develop it’s not something i just “had”. outside of fic, i was a literature and creative writing major, and got very used to writing and workshopping pieces.

now! onto some actual advice —

1. read a lot and read more, but read stuff you actually like and not stuff you feel pressured to read. i love high brow litfic as much as the next pretentious english major, but i started writing a ton after reading a bunch of kindle unlimited romance because it was fun and it got me inspired

2. watch well written television for dialogue and pacing. people do not talk in proper english, they don’t say things eloquently, and there’s a lot of filler and fluff. that’s good! that’s real, so i love well written tv to show me how it’s done

3. get comfortable writing in weird ways. for years i used to sit down and be like “ah okay so chapter one” and then i was stuck, stalled out, and just felt bad about the process. when i started writing both aurora and tnt, i started in the middle. i had an image of a scene in my mind (for tnt it was actually the claim attempt) and i just wrote it out and then bounced around later

4. outlines are your friend! sometimes i’ll get a random line of dialogue in my head or an image but that doesn’t mean i’m ready to write it. i throw it in one big outline so i don’t lose it.

5. if you’re wanting to write really good smut i have two suggestions but please only do this to your personal comfort level. this is what works for me but do not make yourself uncomfortable— for good smut, i watch porn for reference and for good dirty talk, i listen to nsfw audio. i like to really write the visuals for smut and make it immersive but lol i haven’t experienced everything ive written about and logistics of the body are hard!! i usually find a video or an audio and let that help guide the imagery im writing.

6. be comfortable with the editing process. i know the temptation to post something the minute you finish it is there, but sleep on it. come back and edit it, read the dialogue out loud if you have to. i swear you’ll make the piece better just by leaving it and coming back.

7. don’t be afraid to post. most people are kind, and the worst thing that will happen is you don’t get a lot of notes. that’s okay, it’s a process.

8. research! as i’m writing anything, even a silly little oneshot, im doing research on something. i am hyper aware that im not korean and have never spoken korean or lived in korea, so for my fic i try my hardest to ground elements of that in reality. i truly cannot tell you how many hours ive spent reading like korean case law on revenge porn just for like 3 lines of dialogue. and you don’t have to go that crazy, i’m arguably too intense, but i do think some of that helps the story and the dialogue feel real.

9. describe something real- every place in my writing is based on something real. every apartment, hotel, cafe, venue, etc., they’re all either something i’ve found online or drawn from my life and use that to my advantage. i use apartment listings and save photographs, i do google map walks to see what neighborhoods look like, anything to get the feel of a place or an experience. for the christmas chapters of aurora, i watched hours of gwangju walking tour videos on youtube while i was writing just to understand how to describe their walk in the snow. it really helps me to have a visual that i can put words to.

10. find your weak points and see what other writers do differently. if you want to improve, you should find a small place to start. is it dialogue? overall plot? smut? etc. - i’ll never forget being on a creative writing retreat, and a very important writing professor said to me “everything you write is very pretty but you haven’t said anything. you have to decide to say something.” that feedback hurt, but sent me down a much better writing path when i realized where i was falling short and not challenging myself.

okay i hope some of this was helpful and if it’s a mess im sorry im on mobile. i really just love writing so deeply and will always talk about it, so i hope this was helpful 💗

#answered anon #honeyhotteoks thoughts #about writing

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iicaru2 · 2 months ago

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omg ok so its morning sand i dont have as many thoughts as i did BUT.

i sent it to my friend group server its so fucking funnny

I ADOOORE HO WYOU WROTE TODOROKI. OH MY GOD. ITS SO FUNNY. HES SO IN CHARACTER. I LOVE YOU ITS SO FUNNY. its like. hes so blunt and up front but also like. sassy. when he asked izuku if hed kiss it better or looks amused at him OH MY GOD. genuinely this might be one of my favourite tddk fics ever like oh my god. its so good. genuienly i was up until two thirty in the morning because i love it so much

izuku constantly being flustered and frazzled at him. bro todoroki was not giving him any time to catch his breath he was always up to SOMETHING

the intro immediently setting the mood was wonderful, with todoroki just being like midoriya. be my boyfriend. and having izuku just be like HELLO WHAT WHATA THE HELL IS HAppENING

izuku cursing all over when he saw todoroki before the gala, just to realise he was talking out loud

TODOROKI WAS ALWAYS DOING SOME SHIT AND I FYCKING LOVE IT. your notes were so real, the fandom always makes him some rule following calm serene guy but like... WHO IS THAT.

oh my god the todoroki family scene. tears in my eyes. real tears in my eyes. i dont think you understand how funny that is. i wanted to start crying because i was having such a good time. i dont even know where to start with that scene the entire thing was so peak. i cant pick. i cant pick

im stil just giggling. todoroki was a fucking MENACE and i ADORE it. but at the same time he was kind of a loser. like he was a little bit of a loser and i was so here for it its so in character

izuku was put through the RINGER. that scene where todoroki was meeting his mom and they saw his baby vhotos. also the characterization of izuku not telling his mom about his allergies. thats so good and i love it

BAKUGO AND IZUKU. THE BUNNY SIGN. THE DEAF BAKUGO DONT TALK TO ME EVER. THATS SO GOOD. OH MY GOD THATS SO GOOD. DONT TALK TO ME EVER SLASH SO pOS. SO GOOD

anyway i gtg 2 lunch now but ill be back!!!!!!! im not done!!!!!!

ooOOHGH. OH MY GOD. OK ALRIGHT AND THERES MORE??? UR TRYING TO KILL ME. ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT. OK OK. (edit from after i finished this: it ended up LONG so the rest of this monstrosity is below the cut. thank you so so much for the ask and giving me the opportunity to talk nonstop <3)

1) genuinely u have no idea how overjoyed this makes me . waaah . yeah all of my character biases and headcanons came out with this one. i projected to hell and back all over tddk and it shows. im glad u liked it so much bc i think this is my favorite depiction of any bnha characters ive written so far :3

2) evidently. my second favorite thing to do to my favorite characters (besides putting them through unimaginable horrors) is setting them loose in an enclosure of Insane individuals that will guaranteed drive them up a wall. enter stage right one todoroki shouto dead set on patricide, getting a new boyfriend, and giving said boyfriend an anxiety attack. not necessarily in that order. this was my first time writing from izuku’s perspective in any long form capacity, so im happy general consensus agrees i did a good job :> thankfully just inflicting shouto on him for ab 25k words worked out lmao

3) IM OVERJOYED U LIKED THE INTRO BECAUSE I LOST MY MIND OVER IT. could absolutely not figure out how to open this monster of a fic for weeks and it was driving me bonkers bc i typically write in order so i was just not getting anywhere. then i got struck with the productivity beam and wrote like a madman. the whole fic may have taken me over a year to write but still i DID IT and it is glorious. when in doubt i went with whatever absurdity wld stress izuku out most and ran with it.

4) the panic swearing scene as a result of izuku’s not-boyfriend being too pretty for his brain to comprehend without a hard factory reset was one of my favorites!! it was also scary for me to write bc typically fanon interpretations (which i hate) have izuku like. allergic to swearing. which is bullshit but wtv. fanon also tends to spread to an entire fandom annoyingly fast so i was worried ppl wouldnt like my izuku and the way i write him, before i remembered i can do whatever i want forever and every time someone “uwu cinnamon roll” trope-ifys him an angel dies somewhere. so i kept it in. also i think after all The Shenanigans (ominous violin string) hes entitled to a few f-bombs.

5) oh yeah speaking of fanon interpretations dying by my blade: Todoroki Shouto. i will never in my life write him being overly polite or considerate and this is my pledge. hes a blunt, rude bitch and its funny as hell therefore it is my civic duty to inflict his behavior on everybody else. hes also autistic. why? because i am, and i said so. izuku isnt safe from projection either, as hes got some intense anxiety issues (which is basically canon) and, while i didnt get to blatantly make it clear since i couldnt find a good place to do so, hes absolutely got chronic pain from all his insane death defying injuries. do w that what you will.

6) the todoroki family were my favorite interactions to write and for good reason. clowning on endeavor is wildly therapeutic. do i support abusive people realizing theyre abusive and working to get better? yeah sure. but i dont plan on making it easy for him. hence why i mock him relentlessly throughout with shouto as my mouthpiece. hes earned an incredible amount of relentless mocking and i am going to deliver— this is why i feel hes the one character i wrote thats a bit of a caricature, or the largest detour from his timeline-accurate canon counterpart in this fic, but consider: its really fucking funny. rei, fuyumi, and natsuo are also a joy to write, because i love them. touya mightve made an appearance for shits n giggles, if i hadnt already decided the league were mostly in prison (for the sake of that everyone lives/nobody dies tag, but also so i had an excuse to not write all of this During the final war arc.)

7) shouto is ABSOLUTELY a loser menace and meant to be read as such. the kid can call the chief of police a slur to his face but not ask someone out normally. he can commit grand theft auto but can’t figure out an idiom to save his life. he orders olive garden to a gala and eats the pasta cold. he is seventeen years old. hes also me, but who would i be if i didnt project and amplify in everything i write.

8) izuku is disaster incarnate. my beautiful princess with a disorder. he has crippling anxiety and could kill you with a flick of his finger. hes prone to acts of extreme danger and violence despite his every effort to avoid them. he is the singular character in this entire fic thats actually attending therapy which suggests, yes, this is his mental state After hes worked through a ton of shit in therapy. it couldve been way worse. he either needs 15 minutes under a weighted blanket or a xanax im not sure which. but ive read enough abusive inko fics that i had to write her not Perfect by any means but still a good mom that loves him so much to balance it out :3

9) ohhh u mean one of my top three favorite scenes in the whole fic? one thats not even centered around the main ship? riveting! yeah somebody (me) cried like a fucking baby at a certain apology scene the second i saw it animated. therefore this scene was necessary. it also fulfills my need to go “fuck you *disables your favorite character*” which i must do in like every fic i ever write. bakugou is also me (🚩) but thats not relevant at this time. if its not clear already, i do have a decent amt of knowledge about ASL! JSL (which theyre using in this fic. obviously) is a little harder for me— ive been learning japanese for years, but sign languages are entire languages in and of themselves. i wasnt entirely sure if JSL works the same as ASL in the case of giving people a name sign so you dont need to finger-spell their entire name out, but for the sake of my silly headcanon, lets pretend it does. as this is my blog and i do what i want— plus i promised yapping— impromptu japanese lesson with moony time: the word “deku,” as its spelled in bnha, isnt actually a word by itself. rather, its just an alternate reading of the kanji for izuku’s name. 出久 (izuku) can also be read as デク (deku, alternate kanji spelling). when written with different kanji, 木偶 (deku), short for 木偶の坊 (dekunobou) instead means “wooden doll/puppet” which is an insult for someone considered useless. uraraka says this nickname sounds similar to できる (dekiru), which directly translated means “to be able to”, but is usually translated into english as “you can do it.” ofc im not fluent, so feel free to fact check me on any of that— but ive been learning japanese for a long time, so i like to think i know what im talking about :3 its a little thing really, but its still a pet peeve of mine when people dont seem to realize this. this doesnt Technically come up in the fic beyond a couple throwaway lines, but it IS what i had in mind when i was writing that JSL scene between midoriya and bakugou, so i figured it was relevant enough to point out :>

when i said i yap forever and ever ab my special interests that was NOT an exaggeration lmao. thank you so much waaahhhh i cant WAIT to keep going insane over them 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 ilu ilu ilu mwah

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joemama-2 · 3 months ago

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NEW VL CHAP BUT AT WHAT COST

GISELLE WHEN I CATCH YOU, WHEN I CATCH YOU GISELLE I SWEAR TO GOD

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY IM SO ANXIOUS BECAUSE OF READERS MOTHER I CANTTT

AND TO THINK I LITERALLY CRIED WHEN SATORU SHOWED UP LATE AT THE DADS APPRECIATION DAY. I WAS SOBBING FOR KOJI AND I CRIED FROM HAPPINESS WHEN SATORU ARRIVED AND UGGHHHH

AND THE FLASHBACK FROM WHEN READER AND SATORU MET? STOP. ITS SO CUTE AND SAD THAT THEY WENT THROUGH ALL OF THAT SHIT WHY CANT THEY JUST BE TWO PEOPLE IN THE FLOWER SHOP FOREVER💔

FUCKK I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO MUCH. KOJI EXPOSING HIS POOR MOM MADE MY WEEK BETTER I SWEAR. EVEN HIMARIS SCENE WAS SO WELL WRITTEN TO MAKE ME HATE HER EVEN MORE

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL THE STORY IM READING STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. IVE NEVER CRIED TO A FANFICTION BEFORE AND I DIDNT LIKE IT

AND I KNEW READERS MOTHER WAS COMING TO BE ANOTHER PAIN IN THE ASS BUT WHYYYYY😭 IM NOT READY FOR HER IM NOT READY FOR ANYTHING AT THIS POINT

this is really intense i know, i just finished the chapter im not fine I love vl so much im gonna cry again, what if i just delete tumblr forever and pretend satoru and reader and koji are happily ever after together huh just what if

i was cringing myself when i started crying at koji's presentation because like: YOURE A GROWN PERSON WHY ARE YOU CRYING OVER THIS but your writing is so immersive i know i said that before but i feel like kojis is my real child and if he's sad then im sad too

please giselle have mercy on me (do not i loved this your angst is the best ilysm thank you for velvet lies im too emotional stop

🤭🤭🤭🤭

honestly, teenage gojo and y/n had no idea what they were getting themselves into by getting involved with each other and that sucks the most ;( they just want to loveeeee each other

and LMAOOO it’s totally okay to cry at some parts. IVE LITERALLY CRIED AT MY OWN AND OTHER FANFICTION B4😭😭 it is a humbling experience tho 🥲🥲 and koji being a cute kid but airing out personal business is endearing bc i feel like almost every kid does this at one point LOL

either way, yayyyyy!!!! i’m so very happy my writing makes you feel so passionately and i hopeeee u love the next chapter just as much 🥰

#asks #velvet lies #ialoneamthesillyone <3

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champselysees · 2 months ago

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eating my own words here i fear (died for your sins (died for you)

ask me about my wips

So first of all, this is a cycling fic. Yes. I am eating my own words here because I in fact have a conk crete cycling rpf fic (for those not in the know, ive spent the past year and a half swearing up and down that I am never writing a cycling rpf fic, that I watch cycling like a white man in his fifties too much. lol and lmao)

Anyway, this is more or less my Adam/Tadej thesis. A character study masked as a relationship study masked as a fic sort of fic. Starts right after Col de la Loze (aka in July 2023) and will end around the end of Giro 2024 (aka May 2024) so like... almost a year to cover okay?

Minor brief and nuance-less context cause I know most people here do not know cycling (sad :(((). Cycling is more or less about the specialest guy and the specialest guy has guys around him that help him. Kinda like what people want first-second driver to be but actually real. Tadej is the specialest guy in his team, Adam has been one of his main help guys (domestiques. They are called domestiques) since he joined the team in 2023.

Col de la Loze is a hill in France and the 17th stage of the 2023 Tour de France finished shortly after reaching the summit. Its a very awful ugly climb and in 2023 Tadej basically failed here, had a massive metaphorical crash, Adam got told to at least try for the stage win but couldnt get it. Apparently after the end of the stage, Tadej apologized.

So consider this. You have the leader guy who is less experienced and apologizes for what he sees as a failure, vs a guy who is more experienced but also is very much not the guy in charge and now they try to reconcile that dynamic.

Add in the fact that Tadej in general comes off very happy go lucky, there is a thousand and one jokes about Tadej the entirety of the 2024 being very yay yippe another wonderful day of cycling with my friends when its actually the most gruelling stage known to mankind. But he can also very much suffer, he is just a human and despite his happy persona he also does experience negative feelings. Combine these two things and you got a very interesting guy.

And Adam is... well he is by all means a good cyclist, UAE can be a little bit of a messy team at times and when Tadej won Tour in 2020 it was unexpected, but by the time Adam joins in 2023 they are a well established team, they are not dominant, thank you Jumbo-Visma, but they are genuinely good. And Adam walked into the whole super-domestique thing. That was always what he was signing up for. Like it was very clear that Tadej is the main guy. Adam is good and I would love to see him be a leader for a Grand Tour at some point, but he has very much walked into a super domestique role willingly.

So its sort of about the push and pull of it all, how much Tadej needs Adams help, how much is Tadej willing to ask for, how much Adam thinks Tadej needs his help, how much he is willing to offer without feeling like hes belittling Tadej or getting in his way. It's Tadej who is the leader, Adam knew when he signed the contract, but how is he supposed to approach the whole I am more experienced bit. Reconciling those two points is really hard actually turns out.

I have like 700 words of plot written mostly contained in out of context sentences, so barely anything, but that is more or less what it is about. You cannot get this dynamic anywhere else in sports I fear.

Also Marc Soler keeps accidentally catching strays in Adams internal narration for no reason other than cause he was the first domestique I remembered that was in UAE at least since 2023. Sorry Marc I just needed another guy and you were the first one I remembered

#ask #sam tag #dasfgh you stumbled into the men in tight lycra wip #cycling tag

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kissesforjackie · 1 year ago

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a lil lottienat fic

summary: pre-crash, a bit of a continuation of a scene in season one and some first kiss flashback content (i sorta hate it its not the best thing ive written but oh well)

a/n: just kisses, flirting, and some in-character swearing <3

“You know what? Fuck this.”

Natalie resisted the urge to flip off her teammate as she spoke, resorting to turning and walking down the other end of the courtyard. She’d always known Taissa was the kind of girl who would do anything to get what she wanted. She’d even been known to convince teachers to raise her grade by a few marks. But freezing out a teammate? A freshman? It was a new low, and she wasn’t about to stoop to Taissa’s level.

She knew full well that the others, being the timid sheep they were, would probably agree, no matter how begrudgingly. That’s why she couldn’t help but be startled as a girl suddenly appeared next to her, offering a small smile.

“Hi.”

“Lottie. Hey.” She struggled to hide the surprise in her voice. “Shouldn’t you be figuring out how to freeze Allie out?” She asked coolly.

Lottie shifted uncomfortably, falling into step beside her.

“Well- no, you’re right. I don’t want to. But you know Taissa, none of us could convince her otherwise even if we tried. Well- maybe Van could, but I don’t think Tai would want us to tell her.”

Natalie rolled her eyes, but smiled gently at the mention of Van.

“Those two are-”

“Totally dating?” Lottie finished, a slight twinkle in her eye as she glanced at Natalie. The blonde girl laughed a little, and nodded her agreement.

“Yeah.”

A silence fell over the two as they walked together. The differences between them stood out sorely, and if they weren’t wearing the same soccer uniform, anyone would assume they didn’t know each other.

Lottie loomed over Natalie, and carried herself with the reluctant elegance of a girl born into a more privileged lifestyle than Natalie, to say the least. Natalie was much shorter, hair dyed a messy blond and smelling faintly of some sort of alcohol, as she often did.

Lottie noticed this, and decided to break the silence.

“Drinking again?”

“Mind your own business.” Natalie retorted instinctively, but softened a little as she saw Lottie flinch.

“No, I’m kidding- yeah, my friend snuck in a bottle. Why, you want me to get you some too?”

Lottie wrinkled her nose at the thought, which made Natalie laugh.

“Nah, don’t worry. I know you don’t like that kinda stuff.”

As the two approached the soccer field, Lottie paused next to the bleachers, causing Natalie to halt too, offering a curious look and a slight tilt of the head.

“So… if you know I don’t like that stuff, do you know what I do like?” She smirked a little as she spoke, leaning against the wall beside her. Natalie glanced nervously towards the field, torn between what to do.

“Lot, maybe here isn’t the best time, someone could see-”

She shut up quickly at the brunette’s pout, which seemed to be one of her few weaknesses. She met Lottie’s gaze, hating herself for the way she felt her cheeks burn against her pale skin. She wasn’t supposed to have a weakness, something that could make her knees go weak. She was the strong one. The tough one. And she didn’t, up until a few weeks ago.

It had been their closest game of the season, and things were tense. The girls were silent in the locker room, and all of them left with more haste than normal. Natalie had sat against the lockers, fighting tears for the first time in a while. She could usually suppress them easily, but she had choked today. She wasn’t meant to do that.

She had let the defender slip right past her, letting her secure one of the team’s two goals. It was the worst slip up of the whole season, and everyone knew it. She also knew all too well that some of her teammates were a little scared of her to say the least — except for maybe Lottie — so no one said a word. Not even Jackie, confident and assured team captain. Not even Taissa, headstrong and ready to call Natalie out on the smallest mistake.

That’s how she knew it was bad.

When it got to the point where she was sure everyone had left, she let herself cry. God, had it felt good. For the first time in months, a pure, genuine release of-

“Nat?”

Fuck.

She ran an arm across her face, and glared up at the source of the interruption.

“The fuck are you doing here, Lottie?” She seethed, looking away guiltily at Lottie’s wounded expression. The taller girl fumbled her words.

“Shit, I’m so sorry- I didn’t mean… are you okay?”

She lowered herself to sit next to Natalie, awkwardly resting her arm over her shoulder. At this level of affection, Natalie began to cry more, turning to bury her face into Lottie’s neck. The two sat, not talking, for a few minutes before the blonde girl's crying died away.

“S-sorry you had to see that.” She mumbled awkwardly, turning her head.

“No! It’s fine, I promise. Are you okay, though? I… I know it seemed bad out there, but we won in the end, right? Just because you let that ball slip past, it does not make you a bad soccer player, okay? You’re one of the best on the team, and everyone loves you-”

“Everyone hates me.” She interjected, turning to face Lottie. Eyeliner was smudged beneath her eyes, and her lip quivered a little. Even if Lottie knew Natalie was hard to figure out, she could tell one thing; Natalie was being genuine. She really thought no one liked her. And the knowledge of that broke her a little. Natalie went on.

“I just- you’re all popular and sporty and rich, and I’m what? I’m just the burnout that people are scared of. Who lives in a trailer park, who gets bad grades, who messes up soccer games. No one has any hopes for me, because why should they?”

She looked away again, fighting another wave of tears.

“I don’t.”

The words were spoken quietly, almost at a whisper, but they were sincere. Natalie turned to look at Lottie, who was staring at the floor. She glanced up, offering a soft smile.

“Uh- hate you, that is. I don’t hate you. And I really don’t think the others do. Everyone thinks you’re cool, Nat. And so what if you’re a bit intimidating? At least the opponents are scared of you.”

Natalie chuckled a little at that, and shook her head slightly.

“I don’t get it.”

Lottie cocked her head. “Get what?”

“...Why you’re so nice to me? You’re kind of the only one. It’s…” She paused to think, and met the brunette’s gaze with a smirk. “It’s actually sort of adorable.”

Lottie’s eyes widened, though not in surprise. That is, not in surprise of what she said. She knew there had been something between them for ages, a palpable tension that tightened at every slight glance, every small smirk. But she had never expected Natalie to act on it, and definitely not now.

Natalie gently reached her hand to cup the taller girl’s cheek. She felt Lottie’s face grow warm under her touch, smirking at her flustered expression. She giggled a little, leaning in ever so slightly.

“Is this oka-”

Lottie surged forwards impulsively, closing the gap. The kiss lasted for hardly a second before Natalie pulled away, settling into a smirk at Lottie’s wide-eyed expression.

“I… that was… nice. Could you… kiss me again?” Lottie glanced away awkwardly, a little embarrassed at her boldness.

Natalie grinned, wrapping her hand around the back of the other girl’s neck, pulling her in again. This time, the kiss lasted for longer, both of them leaning in further, relaxing, melting into each other's touch.

That was why now, weeks later, they were making out behind the bleachers, giddy with love. Natalie, being much shorter than Lottie, raised herself on her tip-toes as high as she could, grumbling something unhappily every time the other girl would tease her by lifting her head just out of her reach.

“Hm- Lottie stop it-”

“Aww but it’s so fun teasing you.” She giggled back, but lowered her head to kiss her more, both of them so desperate for the other. Natalie moved her hand to the bottom of Lottie’s shirt, beginning to feel her way under. Lottie pulled away in surprise, taking a slight step back. The blonde girl flushed red, and looked away.

“Shit- sorry.”

“No, it- it’s okay. Maybe another time. But we should go to training. C’mon.” She pecked Natalie gently on the cheek, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the field. The shorter girl followed after, head still dizzy, and very in love.

#yellowjackets #lottienat #lottie x natalie #lottie matthews #natalie scatorccio

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sparatus · 5 months ago

Text

ao3 meme

tagged by @omniblades-and-stars thanks daisy!!

tagging uhhh @helila @threewhiskeylunch @commander-krios @thetrashbagswasteland and whoever else wants to

my ao3 is NoisyNoiverns for the record

How many works do you have on AO3?

127. dont look at me.

What's your total word count?

normal amount. 1,365,339.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Broken Mirror - 127 kudos, mass effect, first fic of my no-reapers au

Coffee & Cuddling - 113 kudos, mass effect, shiara fluff piece i wrote for a fandom secret santa back in 2016

The Spectre's Greatest Enemy Is His Niece - 94 kudos, mass effect, kryterius + implied desabrudas, saren is babysitting his niece on the citadel when nihlus turns up. i think this was taniria's first ever appearance actually.

breathe in, breathe out - 90 kudos, mass effect, kryterius, short ask prompt fill

It's Not Like That (Except How It Is) - 83 kudos, mass effect, kryterius + implied desabrudas, yes-reapers au where both saren and nihlus survive me1, series of vignettes of saren insisting he's definitely not in love with nihlus despite all evidence to the contrary as observed by everyone around him

i mean it when i say i used to be an old god of kryterius before i veered off into desabrudas and sparatus/oc content yknow

Do you respond to comments? Why/Why not?

ehhh sometimes i do most times i dont, if a commenter asks a question i definitely will but i have chronic "read the notif and forget to say anything until like 5 years later" syndrome. i do read them all and try to give shoutouts in the longfic a/ns tho

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

oh man that's tough, i dont usually go for angsty endings cause i have So Much Depression to begin with but. probably gonna have to say All We Can Do (mass effect, sparatus/oc), specifically because there really isn't an ending, there's no resolution. the fic focuses on the pain and terror ierian and teia are struggling with watching their new baby fight for her life in the hospital, and we end still there. callie doesn't get better by the end, eri and teia just have to sit in that limbo. i put it in my author's note that cal survives and grows up happy and healthy, but at the point of the ending, the pov characters dont know that and the audience just has to sit there with the ache.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

alright that's harder cause i love me a good happy and/or relieved ending. let's say At the End of the Rainbow (no-reapers desabrudas post-shanxi) cause it's the first one i found while scrolling that definitely i would call a happy positive hopeful ending

Do you write crossovers?

nahhh, ill consider them but ive never written one. m.e. x stellaris tempts me tho

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

people have gotten real mad at exdiff for having a nonbinary protagonist and broken mirror in particular for having a muslim woman who wears hijab in it

also some dude willfully misinterpreted everything i put in serpents in the garden (my m.e. big bang fic, oooh you wanna go read my xenopolitics nonsense so bad) and that upset me pretty bad (the comment is deleted but i still have the screenshot somewhere, basically criticized my entire plot and analysis because he just desperately wanted the councilors to be dumb and incompetent that bad and couldn't accept that i was positing otherwise)

Do you write smut?

not really, at least nothing published. i have a few M-rated fics but i dont go into too much detail it's all non-graphic

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah the original rise & reign and now the rewrite (i swear im still working on it adhd just went wheeee) are co-written with my partner @lightspeedpowerpunk aka xMidnightSun :3

What's your all time favorite ship?

you can't ask me that. if i must choose then probably a four-way tie between desabrudas kryterius barrix and spirian (sparky and my oc for his wife) but are we really surprised by that answer

What's a WIP that you want to finish don't think you ever will?

desperately want to finish uneasy lies the head aka bad end cause its soooo juicy but. dont like rehashing canon events. could just skip ahead to the next fic where it gets Juicy and we really get into the canon deviation but mltdog is necessary to actually set it up

note: i am notoriously stubborn and am hoping that answering bad end here will give me motivation to continue if only because my brain loves proving itself a liar

What are your writing strengths?

character work and worldbuilding, also i'm told my banter and dialogue are really good

What are your writing weaknesses?

TRANSITIONS MY OLD NEMESIS. also i personally hate writing action sequences and struggle a lot with them, i get comments saying i write them well but personally idk how since my experience writing them is "i hate this i hate this just get it over with"

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

don't worry about it.

What's the first fandom you wrote for?

i think. i think soul eater? it was either soul eater or hetalia (nods sadly along to booing), didn't really publish any of it tho cause i was 14 and anxious. it's for the best really

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet, but want to?

one of these days i'm going to pop up with stellaris fic about my custom empire. i tripped and got attached to the spiritualist pacifistic space peacocks. i am tying you to a chair and forcing you all to learn about the cevantian dynastic union against your will.

What's your favorite fic you've ever written?

well that's just rude. gonna cheat and throw down uhhhh 5? 5's a good number

Still on Patrol - turian ocs, naval horror, turian sailors at palaven's north pole encounter an old patrol boat out at the edge of their territory

The Man in the Mask - desabrudas, pre-canon, there's something Off about desolas arterius and valis isn't quite prepared to find out what

Serpents in the Garden - pre-ME1 xenopolitics feat. my pet conspiracy theory. this was my mebb 2023 fic and im still so chuffed with it there's a lot of small notes in this and i still get periodic notes telling me i got people to see the councilors in a whole new light

Prince With a Thousand Enemies - cnclr sparatus backstory, from a small anxious kid growing up in the far north to a baby law student trying to rebuild his self-confidence after abuse to a demigod. if you ever see me say "shayustu in the shatha's den" i'm referencing this. inspired by that one quote from watership down

To Catch a Rabbit - the kryterius murder mystery that started a whole series. saren and nihlus get sent to babysit an interspecies conference and think they're getting a free vacation but oops there's a locked-room murder to solve, and also anita goyle and fedorian and the lady sparatus and macen barro and some others are here. and they both have huge stupid crushes on each other but think it's unrequited because they're so so smart in literally every department except this one.

honorable mention goes to Blood In the Water, because i really did pop off with that one but it's 2nd in a series. i think you could read it without the context of broken mirror but it does have spoilers for that

#councilor's notes #tag meme

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basil-appreciation-comic · 1 year ago

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IMPORTANT UPDATE!!

the comic is cancelled. you probably already assumed that since i havent posted anything about it in a while but yeah the things dead now lol. mainly because i dont care much about omori anymore, the comic sucked, and it was too much effort. i feel kinda bad about leaving you guys in the dark for this long tho, so i thought id go ahead and include all the scrapped stuff for the comic that never got finished

while i was writing the comic i started a google doc that laid out ideas i had for future pages. heres that if you wanna know how the story ends

it was written over several months and (most) things are in order of where they go on the timeline not when i wrote them so it might be a little hard to follow

also some art i never posted

(at least i dont think ive posted the last one)

i quoted not liking this comic as one of the reasons i stopped so let me explain that with a list of things id change about this if i were to remake it (which i wont)

remove the swearing that was so stupid

make omori mute (and probably use sign language)

omori does not express fear or stress in-game, thats sunnys job. quit it

he also does not cry and generally shows emotions (even the big ones) in more subtle ways (which i think i was trying to shift towards later in the doc) idk why he was so emotional all the time

literally everything about how i portrayed omori actually that was all just awful

the panic attack scene is fucking embarrassing i have no clue what i was thinking. im so sorry for writing it like that i did 0 research beforehand

make it shorter why did i think that would work out

id probably just make it a fic, comics take way too much outta me compared to just writing things

it does not need a big epic ending and probably shouldve ended not long after they escaped black space

the romance is horrible but thats the foundation of the comic so idek what id do about that

stop making everyone talk like therapists 24/7

and yeah it has a lot of problems but i still do care about this due to the ammount of effort and love ive put into it, i just cant and dont want to continue it

so yeah thats where this story ends ig. i had a lot of fun along the way, and thank you so much for all the support. bigger thanks to that one sunflower discord server (if you came from there you know which one) for being my main motivation and support throughout this journey. sucks this comic never got to see its full potential but im relieved to finally lay it to rest. the blog will stay up for archival purposes but i will not continue the comic any further obviously. the ask box will remain open if you wanna say anything or if you have a question about the story or whatever. thanks for reading.

#basil appreciation comic #survivor basil #omori au

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team-avia · 1 year ago

Note

Theres some spoilers ahead😔✌ also this is super long im so so sorry i wanted to praise all of u and then it got a lot of asks and long texts by me i swear im just trying to be nice😭

Soo, ive done all routes except Angie (im gonna do it later) and i wanted to talk about it so sorry for being annoying😭

I've got two Bela endings, one was happy lovey traveled lets save the fam and all that. Loved the story, mia trying to kill me was so not a girl girls move. The other ending I didn't support her and went to Miranda (snitch? yes but mira liked it so...), sad part was that bela got sent to a hospital (i hope???) but fun to see the difference. Bela was a mean girl but with reasons (no heart lol) so i didnt click with the romance because i like the evilness with conscious.

I got two alcinas ending too, talked about the "happy" one before and im still upset dani got mad for me dating her mother, i really value friendships ( also mira died?????) Soo i tried a different ending without romancing her, i guess i questioned too much because guess who got turned into a sculpture🤪 (also how will mira recover my body to start it all over again? girlie is gonna have a hard time).

I got one Cassandra ending and one Dani ending, both were happy. I liked Cass more because it felt more like paths i would take in my life. However character wise i loved how both were written, Dani was so adorable i wanted to hug her forever and giver her all the praise (lets be fr her family was not doing it).

And to finish, the loves of my life Donna and Miranda. Both of their stories made me all aaaaaaaaaaa, ive loved them since re8 and it captured the image i had of them perfectly. I've played both twice and got a happy ending i simply cant not love them. It was so cool to see the foreshadowing in Donna's story, when she said Miranda was going to keep her in a tighter leash next time i was like 🤨😲😔.

I know Miranda is evil and that apparently shes keeping everyone in a loop until she gets us to be with her, but thats lowkey so sweet😍

Anywayy, loved everything, the characters were amazingly written, i also kept trying to decode the background to see if there was anything secret (blame flanagan), their expressions was so on point it was awesome to stare at it changing.

You all deserve every love and praise that exists in this world, tysm for putting this together, i really dont know how to thank you enough so that u understand how good all of this is (hence all of the asks ive sent istg sorry again😬)

LISTEN!!! WE LOVE!!! THE ASKS!! I DRINK THEM LIKE COFFEE!! And I drink coffee like water.

As to how Miranda can get you when you're a statue ... she has her ways :^) (It's Mia. Mia is breaking into the manor and steals you. hehe. Nah, I'm just kidding. Or am I.)

And right?? Dani deserves all of the hugs and affection.

Thank you for loving it so much that you send us so much love and so many asks 💙

Arla

#mail 💌#arlamod💙#Resident Lover Spoilers #blame flanagan 😂 you're right though

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lady-sci-fi · 1 year ago

Note

Hi hey hi so

I just finished your Electric Organisms fic series on ao3 and i just wanted to express some sentiments towards your work "^^

1. The fics are so damn good aaa it infected my brain so much i would regularly tell my best friend all about it even though she doesnt watch star trek

2. The fact you dug up unused scenes and scripts and wrote them into fics is so damn cool!! Also may i ask where you found those?

3. Your character writing is so well done, i was so disappointed they didnt explore Geordis personality more in the show. I love that you went into his family background and mental health properly also I honestly love that he just gets to be happy a lot of the time, the show constantly made him suffer for some reason

4. The drawings are such a nice addition to the fics and theyre sooo well drawn <3

5. The way u handled the Fajo&Borg queen assualt implications was so well written. Im still angry the movies and show basically dropped the whole thing and never went into what it would do to datas mental state

6. The romance was so well written i cant- i dont usually read romance but maaan was i invested in this one <333

I swear you basically rewrote the entire series while fixing all the shitty parts and making the good parts *sparkly*

Also just the raw amount of stuff you wrote is crazy impressive!!!!

Unrelated your blog is really cool ive been following for a couple of months or so and it delights me whenever you show up on my dash.

Anyways you're a great writer and artist and i hope my ramble could express that your work is very very appreciated :)

Thanks so much for telling me all this! It does indeed make me feel warm and fuzzy. 🥰

The full series link if anyone else is interested.

While I have written the start and end points for the series, there are still more ideas I'm going to write for it, so stay tuned.

1- That's a huge compliment.

2- It's great to find those little nuggets that were cut out from final script to aired episode for whatever reason. You can read them at Star Trek Minutiae.

3- I like to think I've watched too much TNG to get them too wrong in character 😜. I would've definitely appreciated more Geordi episodes.

4- Thank you. In addition to a fic list, I also have an art list, and DaForge is taking up most of it 😅

5- I'm glad you think so. I don't really blame the show for that, since mostly "one-and-done" episode stuff was the overall structure of shows in that time. A few character things get mentioned or used later, but not everything.

6- The boys deserve a well-written romance 😊It's great to know you think I'm achieving that.

Believe me, I'm also surprised how much I've written for this series since I started it in June 2022. I didn't expect a one-shot fic that came from Brent Spiner saying he much rather would've found Geordi instead of Spot in the Enterprise-D wreck to have led to all this.

It's nice to know you think I'm cool enough to follow on here 😜

Thank you again for saying all this. I'm glad you really like this series.

#asks #daforge #tng #data #geordi laforge #data/geordi #star trek : the next generation

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cupoftaae · 2 years ago

Text

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ heartbeat (chapter 12)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 6k

chapter warnings- smut lol, cockwarming, swearing, pregnancy talk, some angst, fluffy fluff, I think thats all?

a/n- Hey babes, I hope you like this chapter, and again Im sorry for absolutely SLACKING with the request drabbles, Ive had a bit of writers block and it took me a while to even finish this chapter, so just bear with me a lil- I love you so much! mwuah! sorry for any typos

-nini

---

"hey little lady, you single?"

You rolled your eyes as you walked back out to the car from your apartment, "sorry im taken" you giggled at your boyfriend as he winked.

"what time is the appointment?" Taehyung mumbled as he checked the gps

"uh," you checked your phone, "12, so we have 15 mins to get there"

"hm" he smiled and began to drive once you were in and buckled. "I am really excited, actually"

"I am too, just a little nervous as well"

"how come?"

"it just feels all so real, especially after denying it for so long"

He carefully reached over and grasped your hand in his, voice low, "Y/N, remember what we talked about, it will all be ok, I just want you to enjoy this with me, its okay to let go and enjoy things"

"I know"you sigh softly, looking at the other cars on the road.

Once the two of you had actually arrived there, he quickly got out and went around to the side of the car, opening the door for you. "Thank you honey" you mumble, suddenly wishing you had not worn a sweater in the may heat.

He smiled and closed the car, locking it before taking your hand and walking in with you. He loved it so much, the idea of being here with you, being a father.

He had no idea how he went from trying to compete with kaito, to all of a sudden getting to have a child with you. Its crazy how life turns out, but he wouldnt trade it for anything, and the cute glances he gets from other people in the waiting room when you walk in only makes himself more prideful.

"Hello" you quietly speak, walking up to the front desk as taehyung stands behind you, hands on your hips. "appointment for Y/L/N, Y/F/N,?"

The lady working quickly types into the computer before smiling, "yup! Doctor Goe will be out to call for you in a few moments, please take a seat and fill these out" she hands you 2 clipboards with multiple questions written on them, along with a pen.

Taehyung leads you to a quiet seated space away from the other, older couples as you look over the paper work. "this is so awkward"

"why?" he smiled, peaking over your shoulder to see whats on there.

"its asking me if im sexually active, no shit" you whisper, making him laugh and immediately cover his mouth.

"shh" you giggle

"well maybe its like a virgin Mary type thing" he spoke, making you try not to laugh loudly. "you should check off no"

"stop, I cant, I have to be truthful" you begin to fill in the questions for a few moments, giggling and joking with tae before a nurse walked in and called for your name.

You followed her, bringing taehyung in behind you.

"Hello, Ms. Y/L/N, Doctor Goe will see you soon, but I just want to grab your vitals quickly, hop on the scale for me!"

You pouted a bit, handing your purse to tae as he leaned against a wall to give you privacy.

"ok...dont tell me the weight please" you whispered, the nurse nodding apologetically as you stood onto the scale.

"perfect, now lets go into the room so I can check you blood pressure and temp"

You and taehyung both sat as she did so, exchanging soft and silly glances once in a while. "okay, your doctor will be in momentarily"

You nod as she leaves, handing you a paper gown to put on.

"i hate these"

"its pink though!"

You giggle, "turn around"

"why?" taehyung pouted

"because I have to change!!"

"i have seen you naked before, you know that"

"thats different, corner. now."

He huffed and turned to look at the wall until you told him he could turn around.

"is it sexy or what?"

He smirked and folded your previous outfit into a pile on the chair, "you always look sexy"

"whatever" you sat up onto the bench when you heard your doctor walk in.

"hello Y/N, how are you?" she cheerfully spoke, setting her stuff down and looking over her charts.

"im good" you grew a bit nervous.

"who is this you brought with you?" she gestured to taehyung before opening her laptop.

"oh thats my boyfriend, taehyung" you smiled softly at him, his cute face blushing as he greeted her.

"Nice to meet you, and congratulations on your pregnancy, when you called me to set up an appointment I was so surprised"

"yeah, us too" you nodded, smiling.

"so today our goal is to get some labs done, do a little bloodwork, and then we will get you an ultrasound" she smirked, knowing that most parents are always excited to see their baby for the first time.

"sounds good to me"

She begins asking questions about your symptoms, before ordering a blood draw and urine test, which taehyung found funny for some reason.

"I really didnt have to go" you spoke afterwards, getting dressed again.

"so what did you do?" he snickered

"I had to concentrate and I didnt even fill the cup" you shrugged, throwing your sweater on before walking into the hall with him to head towards the ultrasound room.

Once you laid onto the bed, you began to feel excitement for the first time in a while, the nurse putting some cold gel onto your stomach, making you giggle a little as taehyung sat and held your hand tightly.

"so this is your first ever ultrasound?" the technician asked, smiling

"well no, ive had one before when I had a cyst or something, but this is my first pregnancy ultrasound, so obviously its under a bit better circumstances" you laugh, making tae kiss your knuckles softly.

She nodded, grabbing the probe and gently running it over your tummy as she watched the screen light up, "okay, okay" she smiled, waiting a moment to find what she wanted.

Taehyung kept his eyes down on you, hand holding yours as he felt his heart pickup with excitement, this really did solidify the situation.

The nurse offers a sweet smile, getting up to turn the screen towards the two of you, "are you ready to see baby?"

You feel your chest tighten a bit, but you nod and exchange a glance with taehyung, his expression matching yours: happiness and nervousness.

Once the screen was lit, you could have sword the world had stopped just for you.

There it was, the tiny little blob that was ever so slightly moving around. It was impossible not to tear up, especially for taehyung.

"oh..." he whispered, eyes stuck to the monitor as if he was in a trance, "thats our baby?"

"mhm" you finally look back at him to see small streaks of tears "Thats ours" you take a breath before the nurse spoke up

"want to hear the heartbeat?"

"yes! yes please!" he happily cut in, wiping his eyes and returning to squeeze your hand.

She nodded, turning the machine on so both of you heard a small but quick thump...thump...thump..

You closed your eyes blissfully, knowing that the babies presence was made, it was heard and it was there for everyone to see.

"princess..." taehyung pressed his forehead to yours, kissing the side of your face, "that is incredible"

"I know, baby" you smiled brightly as the nurse jotted some stuff down

"so the baby looks healthy, growing perfect, placement is good, and it looks about 2 months along, almost 3...so you are in the first trimester"

You nod as she begins to help wipe off the gel, sitting up a little.

"first trimester symptoms often occur as morning sickness, which doesnt mean just morning, it can be any time" she giggles softly as she reads her papers, "you may also have mood swings, sore breasts, food sensitivity, and fatigue"

"damn" you mumble, looking at tae as he listens to her, mentally jotting down everything she says.

"and have you been taking any prenatal vitamins? any medications?"

You shake yours head, "no I just found out I was pregnant this month"

"okay" she writes something down, "here is a list of recommended vitamins that I would get started on, good for baby and good for mom" she nods, "you guys can get situated and I am gonna grab the sonograms for you, how many would you like?"

You look at tae, "maybe 4? one for both of us, and the others for our families"

He nods "perfect, we will have just 4" he clarifies to the woman, as she goes to process them for you.

Taehyung moved your sweater to cover your stomach, helping you sit up before bringing you into a soft hug. "I love you....thank you"

You giggled quietly, hugging him back, "I love you too, but thanking me for what?"

"for this" he mumbled, pulling away to see your face, "going through this just for our baby, youre so strong"

You smiled gently, "not really anything has happened yet, the fun experience is when I start getting a giant ass stomach and swollen feet" you sarcastically spoke

"hey maybe you can get to use those mobility scooters in the grocery store now" he teased

You burst out laughing, shaking your head, "no!...im not doing that, I dont care if im on the verge of popping, I will be walking to the isles on feet"

He giggled and helped you stand to your feet now, "but for real...Im really excited about this" he looked at your intertwined fingers, "please let me know if you need anything, im here to support you, I dont care what the time or place is"

"taehyung youve already been so supportive, you are doing good, I promise" you kiss his knuckles

"well, thank you, but-"

"okay here you guys go, congratulations again!" the nurse spoke with a wide grin as she entered, handing us the 4 photos of the little baby.

"thank you so much, you've been so kind" you chirp, smiling at the pictures

"of course honey, and remember to check out the vitamins" she added as you agreed, walking out of the hall and back to the waiting room.

"went really well, huh?" you giggle, pushing the door open and walking into the parking lot with taehyung. "here you go baby"

you handed him the sonogram as you gently placed the other three in your purse.

He took it into his hands as his eyes softly grazed over it, Taehyung almost couldn't believe it.

It was all hitting him in this moment, the baby, the fact that you were actually pregnant, and you both were gonna need to change a lot of things in your lives, as well as probably moving into a larger apartment. Was it stressful? oh yeah, but did he yearn it, with you, more than anything? of course.

He was going to be a father, him

His heart jumped as he stared at the tiny photo in his grasp, how could he love someone hes never met? someone he knows nothing about? is it reasonable to be ready to devote your entire life to someone who has yet to enter the world?

"you coming?" you turn to see him standing, your voice knocking him out of his trance.

"o-oh, yeah" he smiled, being brought back to reality for a moment as his legs carried him to the parked car, getting into the drivers seat.

"its so early, do you wanna go shopping?" you ask, pulling your seatbelt over your body.

"mm that sounds nice, but we just went grocery shopping yesterday" he spoke softly, pulling out of the parking spot, checking the rear view mirror.

"well I was gonna say we can just walk down the strip of stores downtown, theres a pharmacy and I can grab the vitamins she recommended, then I think there is a baby shop somewhere around there as well.....for funsies." you shrug, looking out into the road.

His head turned to glance at you, God, you were so fucking beautiful. How did he ever deserve to be here in this position with you?

His hand crept up into yours, squeezing it affectionately, "youre so cute, baby" he smiled, watching as your hair gently blew from the cracked window, sun hitting your skin just right. "we can do that, we can do that" he whispered, eyes now on the road.

Taehyung never knew used to understand why parents bought so much fucking baby clothes for a newborn that was just gonna grow out of it in less than a month, it was a waste of money and it wasn't worth it.

Boy oh boy...you can say he gets it now.

"look how cute" he whispered, eyes boggling the tiny shoe isle inside the baby store, there was so many small items and it made his heart swell.

"im back!" you mumbled, walking into the store and immediately finding your boyfriend, his arms full of things.

"what do you have?" you giggled

"did you find the vitamins?" he retorted

"yes- now, what is in your hands?" you smiled brightly, watching the way his cheeks turn a dark shade of red.

"we obviously dont have to buy all of these, I just kept 'em with me to show you...look" he held up a fuzzy duckling blanket that came with a hood, it was stupidly adorable.

"aww...." you coo, taking it to examine it, "is it a towel or a blanket?"

"i think a blanket, I found it over there" he gestures, "I think we should get it, plus its gender neutral" he smiled

"hmm...Kim Taehyung, always tempting me" your voice was teasing, "fine...."

He grinned cheekily and held it for you, allowing you to walk past him and lead the way throughout the entire store.

"im thinking...I know its early...but when we do create the nursery we can make it like...a soft yellow?" you looked back to make sure he was following you

He nodded, "sounds good baby"

To be honest- Taehyung didnt care

Taehyung didnt care what color you chose for the nursery, or what clothing you picked, or what toys and decorations, as long as you were happy doing it, he had no problem agreeing to every decision you made. You could say he is your 'yes man'.

If it meant he could see you smiling all the time, he would let you get away with murder even.

"tae tae" you whispered, walking over to the shelf of stuffed animals, "can you reach up there and grab that?" you shyly asked, making him laugh as his eyes caught onto the small elephant.

He led his arm up and grabbed the one you wanted, handing it to you, "I had a stuffed animal like this when I was a baby, in fact its still at my moms house, I saw it when we were there" you gently explained.

"then lets get it" he quickly responded, his hand rubbing your lower back.

"we are such impulse buyers" you snorted, glancing around a bit more

"we will recover, im sure" taehyung teased, following you to the cashier to check out.

"We need to leave before we buy the store" you joke, placing the items onto the desk.

The both of you soon left with your bag of items, smiles on your face as you held each others hands, your feet leading you down the sunny sidewalk.

"what do you say, pretty girl? wanna head back home so I can make you something to eat?"

You squeezed his hand and nodded, suddenly excited at the idea of eating buttered toast, weirdly enough its the first and only craving youve had. "that sounds nice"

Taehyung walked closer to your apartment, he sent you inside as he made a quick run to the grocery market down the street by himself when you told him that you wanted to buy something pre-made for dinner tonight so neither of you would need to cook.

His eyes scanned the frozen foods section, opting to just pick up a small veggie pizza to share with you, knowing that is what you wouldve picked anyways.

He made his way over to the cashier, grabbing some mint gum for you as well as youve been extremely nauseous lately.

"is this all?" the man spoke, looking down at the items

"yeah....thats all-" taehyung looked up at the cashier and froze, it was Kaito.

they havent been this close since the party.

What is it with taehyung always running into kaito at his work?

"oh..." kaito quickly checked his items out and bagged it, shoving it to him. "$9.02, dickface"

"whats that?" taehyung glared, his voice filling with anger

"isnt that what you are? a fucking dick? hows y/n?"

"dont do this shit right here" tae looked behind him, "theres a line waiting" he whispered, pulling his wallet out.

"you dont have a right to be mad, youre the one who pulled her away from me" kaito bit, voice quiet but mad

"and arent you the one who hit her? you dont know the situation, stop assuming shit" taehyung pointed. "also- cut the spreading of rumors bullshit, really fucking childish kaito, even for you" He went to pull out his $10 bill

"plea-..." kaito stopped talking when some of the contents in taehyungs wallet fell onto the register, "whats that?"

the sonogram.

Taehyung swallowed, grabbing the picture along with his other credit cards and shoving them away, quickly tossing him the money so he can leave.

"is that y/n's......" his voice was shaky as his finger remained pointed at his wallet, "did you.....is that..."

"can you guys please cut the chit chat and hurry up? I have places to be" the middle aged woman holding her toddler behind them cut in, sounding impatient.

Taehyung kept quiet out of fear in admitting anything, so he just made sure he got the cash, grabbed his bag and left.

Although now thinking about it, mightve given off the idea that, yeah, that is yours. Perhaps he shouldve made some excuse.

"what took you so long, baby?" you smiled, walking into the kitchen holding Yeontan as taehyung opened his bag.

"sorry, it was crowded. pizza okay?"

"yes, thank you and sorry for making you run out again"

"its okay sweetheart" he whispered, placing the pizza into the freezer for later tonight.

Putting the puppy down, you walked over and hugged him from behind, head resting on his back.

He slightly jumped, startled by your actions.

"whats wrong?" your voice was soft, gentle.

"nothing"

"you seem kind of shaky, did something happen?"

he shook his head, turning to hold your hands

"tae I know when youre lying...what happened, talk to me" your hand gently crawled up to his cheek, rubbing the skin softly.

"its stupid, and not worth worrying about. Stress isnt good for you or baby so just drop it" he smiled, hands holding your stomach now.

You still protested, "im fine- just tell me"

He saw in your eyes that you werent going to let up, so he sighed before speaking. "um...kaito...he might know about...this" he circled his finger on your abdomen, watching as your eyes shot wide in fear,

"w-what!?"

"he was the cashier and of course I took his lane, anyways, i open my wallet to pay and the sonogram flies out" he whispered, guilt in his voice

Your hand squeezed his, shaky, "and what did you say?"

"nothing..."

"and what did he say?"

"he kind of asked me about you and I was just too scared to speak so I paid and left"

"taehyung!!" you ripped away and walked into the living room, "hes gonna assume that its mine"

"well it is" he countered

"but he doesnt need to know!!!" you tried to calm yourself but it was too late. "our fucking parents dont even know and my ex boyfriend does?"

"We dont know what he might be thinking!"

"taehyung....hes gonna go tell everyone, like he did before, calling me a ... a whore" your voice cracked.

"hey...hey" he walked towards you, rubbing your back "its okay..."

"thats easy for you to say!"

"listen, I know my words mean little to nothing right now, but I do know that it will be okay, he might not tell anyone, and we cant freak out before anything has happened? yeah?" he whispered, "im so sorry baby, I really am"

You took a deep breath as his arms wrapped around you, "its just....this situation isnt planned but ive been feeling kind of excited recently, and everytime I let myself do just that, be optimistic, something happens."

"be happy, enjoy this, I wont let anything happen, I promise to take care of you both" his voice was guilty as you leaned into him. "i promise"

"do you think we should start thinking of telling our families?" you interrupt the silence after a moment.

He pulled away with wide eyes, "what? now?"

"soon" you nodded

"why?"

"taehyung, they will have to know eventually....and if this does get out, kaito is friends with my moms social media page, all he has to do is text her and then everything is ruined. If she or anyone close to us is gonna find out, its gonna be from you and me."

He sighed, "okay.....I understand that, sorry I just got a little nervous....not entirely used to this whole thing yet"

"and thats okay, but we need to be there for eachother, because I honestly just want to try and make the best of the situation"

"me too...me too" he sighed once more, feeling the spot you were coming from. "we'll be okay" he promised once more, kissing small pecks all over your face to distract you.

You never knew you were able to have this much sex.

Before, you two usually had it whenever your schedules allowed fit, or if you were lucky, taehyung would give in the week before your period started if you hounded him enough. (although he didnt mind it at all)

but within the past two weeks, its like your body is seeking dick non-stop, leaving taehyung the poor victim of the situation.

when he gets home from literally anything? sex.

when you two shower? oh yeah, sex.

when you both are watching tv on the couch? you guessed it, sex!

its all the time...

"fuck, taehyung.....you feel so good" your voice was breathless as you rocked your hips on his lap, head thrown back as his cock fit inside you deliciously.

it was nearly 4am and you had woken him up because you were so horny, despite you two having it out just before you went to sleep.

"doing so well baby" taehyung closed his eyes and leaned his head against the headboard, groaning as you rode him, "oh, shit, just like that- yeah..."

"mmm" you wined, hands gripping his shoulders as he began to thrust his hips beneath you, making your mouth fall open as you silently scream. "shit, shit, oh my god-"

"dont stop moving, baby, keep your hips- yeah just keep doing that, oh god baby you feel amazing" he instructed you as his hands rested on your sides, assisting your movements. "gonna fucking cum" he groaned tightly.

"ah- im so close" you bounced your hips a bit, suddenly hiding your face into his neck as your climax approached. When he came, his hands squeezed your skin as he whispered your name over and over again, not stopping his movements until you came around his dick. He spilled into you freely, something he didnt know he would enjoy until you told him he didnt need to use a condom, at this point- it became an addiction to feel you.

"cum for me baby, its okay, I love you" he whispered in your ear, feeling you clench around him before releasing, a desperate moan escaping your lips.

"oh my fucking- oh god, tae...please, ohhh" you rocked your hips, riding out the last yet strong waves of your orgasm

He waited a moment until you both calmed down, he tried to pull your head back so he could see you, his hand pushing away your sweaty hair.

"you okay, baby?" he chuckled quietly, "why you hiding, hm?"

You remained silent, arms gently holding his waist as he heard a sniffle.

"what wrong? are you crying?" he began to grow more concerned, he moved you both so he could actually be face to face. "what happened? did I hurt you?"

"no- no you didnt do anything" you wiped your eyes, "i just feel like im using you"

"what?" he frowned, eyes looking into yours, "you arent using me, I dont feel that way at all honey, why are you saying this?" he trailed his hand to grab yours, entwining your fingers together.

You shrug, "i dont know...I feel bad because I just woke you up to do this, and then yesterday I did it too when you were busy putting together that new table I ordered, and then I felt guilty about the fact I made you put the table together in the first place because im the stupid one who ordered it and I feel like im irritating you and I want you to know its okay to say no to me, my hormones are just really crazy right now and-"

"y/n" he stared at you, a soft yet slightly amused expression, "stop"

You sniffled again and swallowed

"You arent bothering me in the slightest, if you think sex is bothering me you are crazy" he softly giggled, "and I know you are probably feeling a lot of things right now and its okay, I wont ever make you feel guilty about that, its normal."

he squeezed your hands, continuing

"and the table was hard to put together anyways, you would have been super confused, we need to stop ordering from ikea" he smirked.

"but they have cute stuff" you countered as he handed you a tissue from the bedside counter.

"I know but so does other places, If we decide to order baby shit from Ikea I refuse to assemble them by myself" he teased

"i'll help" you smiled softly, leaning back onto his chest as he rubbed your back.

"love you" he whispered

"I love you too"

the room was silent for a moment before he helped you up, gently rubbing your sore thighs before grabbing more tissues so that you could wipe yourself, his cum dripping out of you.

"see, im not used to that" you giggled, "kinda feels gross not gonna lie"

"we dont have to do it raw, I can wear a condom if its too messy for you" he offered

"meh" you shrug, walking to the bathroom to pee, "it feels good its just the cleanup I hate, you know?"

He smiled and cleaned himself up before you came back out, opting to grab one of his shirts from the closet and sliding it on and getting back in bed with him.

He hummed contently, turning the light off again and squeezing you close to him.

"I think I want to do online classes" you softly spoke, head against his chest.

"hm? what was that?" his eyes were shut, arm draped over your waist.

"college classes, I think its good if I switch to taking them online at home next semester"

"because of the baby?"

you hum, "yeah but also just the stress...I already feel nauseous a lot and walking to classes and seeing my old friends makes me sick to my stomach."

"too much drama" he added, "no I think thats good sweetheart" he yawned

"yeah?" you fluttered your eyes closed, tiredness setting in

"mm...stay home with me, i'll take care of you" he whispered before holding you tight and falling asleep not too long before you do too.

This morning you sat on the bathroom floor, grabbing a facecloth and wiping your mouth after you felt sure enough that there was no more vomit coming up.

out of all the changes you had recently, you wish this one would disappear the most.

"hey, you alright?" taehyung gently whispered, knocking on the door

"im fine." you stood up and washed your face as you felt the door move, his body pushing through to get next to you.

"why didnt you wake me?" he spoke, hand on your back as you quickly began to apply makeup.

"because Ive ben dealing with it for a bit now, and I can handle it" you shrugged, eyeing him in the mirror.

Your tone of voice suggested you were in a mood again this morning, so taehyung simply nodded, choosing to leave you alone instead of arguing. "okay, baby"

He wants to think hes been doing okay recently, regarding taking care of you. Taehyung knows that sometimes you just are angry or pissed for no reason, and unfortunately he is often the one who takes some of it, but at the same time he knows its not your fault and you feel awful about it, so he decides on just agreeing with whatever you say or do.

when you do come out of the bathroom, you are fully dressed and ready to leave, "I have to go to a job interview" you smile shyly

"oh the daycare place?" he looks over at you while he makes the bed

"yeah...I usually see college girls working there so I dont see why they wouldnt hire me" you shrug, gathering your stuff.

"what time is it at?" he asks, eyes taking in how cute you look in your red puffy sleeved shirt and jeans.

"um..." you check your watch, "holy shit, I have to get over there in 10 minutes, I have to run, bye baby" you kiss him quickly and began to walk away, speaking fast "dont forget to do the laundry please, also wash yeontans bed as well, its begining to smell like dirty dog in the living room okay byeeee!" you shut the door and began to run to the elevator, leaving taehyung alone in the bedroom.

"well buddy, its just you and me, huh?" he smiled, looking down at the puppy as he wagged his tail happily. "wanna help daddy clean?" he picked him up as he walked into the laundry room, tossing the dirty clothes into the washing machine.

Yeontan took no interest in helping, but he was fascinated by the black sock on the floor that took him no time to run away with.

"hey!" taehyung shook his head as he poured detergent, "I thought this was teamwork, huh?"

"honestly, you seem like a great fit, I think you would get along with the main teacher nicely"

Your eyes widened at the daycare leaders words, smiling a bit "really? thank you, oh my god"

The older woman smiled, nodding "yes, youre young, nice from what I can tell, and you said you have experience with children?"

"yes! when I was in high school I volunteered with the pre-school kiddos, super cute and I loved doing it every week"

"perfect" she wrote something down, "and how far away do you live?"

"oh I live not too far, I walked here today and it took about 7 minutes"

"oh thats great! and how do you feel about hours? we are open monday-friday, 8am to 3pm"

You thought for a moment, "well I just finished up my semester in college for the year, but I will be taking classes again in the fall, so what I choose now may change" you giggle softly, "um, right now I think about 3 days a week will be good, I should probably mention that I am pregnant too"

She smiled widely, "oh my God, congratulations, youre so young?"

"thank you, and yeah I know" you shyly smile, "um but..yeah 3 days I think is good, my boyfriend is also getting a job so he will work on the days I dont"

She nodded, finishing writing things down, "if you dont mind me asking, how far along are you?"

"oh just about 3 months, so no maternity leave until like..October or September."

"okay okay.." she put her clipboard down and smiled, standing to shake your hand, "well, Y/N, you are hired, I think you will be amazing here"

"I seriously cannot thank you enough!" you shook her hand and collected the papers, reciprocating the gentle hug she gave you before handing over the shirt you will wear.

"I'll see you next week"

you nodded and thanked her again, turning to head home as fast as you could so you can tell taehyung.

juggling with everything in your arms, you manage to take your key out and open the door, calling out his name "tae!! Im home!!'

when he didnt respond you gently placed everything on the kitchen island and walked through the hall, "baby? you home?"

"in here"

you listened to his muffled voice coming from his bedroom, "you can come in" taehyung added

You twisted the handle and opened the door, eyes wide as you gazed around at the room. "taehyung....what is all this"

He sheepishly smiled, "I know its early, like, really early, but I wanted to start by clearing some stuff out" he walked over "this can be the nursery"

Your face softened, "baby...you didnt have to- what about your bed? where is all this stuff gonna go?"

"we can sell the bed, and the old desk, I never even sleep in here anymore and your room is the bigger one anyways, this is perfect for the baby"

You looked at everything on the walls now in boxes, the bed stripped and everything pushed into one corner of the room, "baby....thank you, but are you sure?" you whispered

He nodded, pointing at the other corner "i put some of the things we bought over there, we can just toss it all in this room until we actually begin to decorate. youre okay with me bringing some of my things into your room?"

You smile, "yeah honey, thats ok" you look up at him and hold his arm lovingly. "youre so sweet....the baby will probably be with us for the first few months, in our room, you know that right?"

"yeah, but still they need a place of their own" he shrugged, kissing your forehead. "how did the interview go?"

You giggle, pulling away to jump around, "I got the job, I start next week and im working Monday through Wednesday, it pays super well"

"baby!" he smiled and picked you up, spinning around a little "im so proud of you, I knew you would get it, they would be crazy not to hire you!!"

He kissed you a bunch of times, making you smile even wider. "I love you sweet girl, so much"

"I love you too, I love you soooo much" you kissed him back, gently swaying in his semi-empty bedroom.

"we are doing good so far, like if we just paid attention to us and the situation....things arent too bad" he shrugged

"I agree, lets just hope it stays that way" you press a soft kiss to his neck.

"oh and 2 things, one, my check from the art show finally came in, they gave me 3k"

"holy shit, tae"

"I know I know but I think its a good idea to put it aside for a bit, life isnt that pricey right now but we know things will change, so lets make it emergency money."

You nod, "okay thats fine, thats a lot of money though, god"

He chuckles, "I know, oh and the other thing" he walks and sits on his mattress. "I think we should go on our Paris trip soon....I know you were feeling iffy about it, but almost everything is paid for, it'll just be a little one week thing....one last big trip before-" he glances down at your stomach. "hotel is already paid, and the food is too if we eat there. only thing we need to pay for is things we decide to purchase, and transportation"

You sigh and sit next to him, "hmm....I dont know...I mean I wanna go to Paris soon too but I also told my mom we, or I, would be with her this summer in Gwangju, but now that I have a job it will just have to be a short visit. Besides I thought we booked the Paris trip for August."

He frowned slightly, "I mean the trip isnt really booked unless I call them, but I was just thinking maybe its better to have it sooner, so youre not like 6 months pregnant when we go, and that way you can relax for a week or so with your mom after."

"hmm" you ponder, resting your head on his shoulder. "lots of traveling, I hope my work doesnt get mad at me"

"yeah..."

"i mean....I guess we can try to go next month" you look at him, "but I would like to tell our parents before we go, because I think if I see my mom after she will definitely be able to tell if im 4 months pregnant"

He nods and kisses you gently, "okay baby, we will tell our families"

"dont worry...Im nervous too" you held his hand, eyes dragging to the small collection of baby things the two of you had bought.

"one way or another we will get through it."

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