#i will come back to draw normal stuff after i forget about edward
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philippeducdanjou · 2 months ago
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lowkey charles iii portrait
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curious-menace · 4 years ago
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Glad you took that nap earlier then! Do you wanna talk about your riddler stuff that’s on your brain? I wouldn’t mind reading, I like reading your stuff!
oh boy a blank cheque for mayhem
you might regret this when i spend the next 4 hours rambling >:)
things that currently live rent free in my brain
so i have an idea for a fic id like to write. a reader x arkham riddler one. basic premise is that riddler is having a nightmare or has had a breakdown after the events of arkham knight. its a terrible night outside, pouring down and freezing ( as it always is in northern ireland in the winter ha.). tldr riddler comes into readers room bc he’s crying an they have a sweet little cuddle and comfort session under the blankies while listening to the rain outside.
speaking of rain. i wrote an angsty fic called Rain on my ao3. it was of riddler on the docks outside the pinkney orphanage after he realises batman abandoned him and died. i’d like to do a reader insert version and finish the sequel i have in my docs because im a sucker for angst. 
im trying to wrangle the brainworms for the second part of the telltale riddler fic. its not going how i want it to but like...im too attached to the idea to just scrap it. i want to try and make it work but like i said, brain worms not cooperating. 
constant streams of riddler angst. riddler crying and needing held like a child, riddler having a nightmare and coming to bed for comfort. riddler suffering fuels me
honestly? general nonsense with various riddlers. like just imagining he’s with me in the grocery store saying funny shit, keeping myself entertained in quarantine by imagining him in various scenarios ( which is how i sometimes get my headcanon ideas)
i have a SHITLOAD of character abc’s, nsfw and sfw alphabet stuff to do  for arkham riddler ( all 4 of them) arkham scarecrow, blacklight riddler and my oc/selfie shepherd. these things are min 5000 words and i just cant be bothered with it right now. i WANT to do it but like. as soon as i open the document i get discouraged by the sheer scale of the task
my tablet is gathering dust at the end of my sofa. again, i WANT to draw but i just dont have the mental energy . its probably why im blazing through these asks, i can sit on my butt on the sofa and just type i dont really have to focus too much, just imagine my riddling boys in whatever scenario the asker wants.
id like to draw some scenes from my fics. ive done some shipping things on my main account of blacklight shep and blacklight riddler. there is a fic i wrote called “hiccups” where shepherd adjusts eds tie. its very sweet and id like an excuse to draw her a fancy outfit bc her normal one is plain compared to riddlers gold garb. 
speaking of my fics. these damned prompts from my main account: Edward: After this is over, feel free to lose my number Jonathan giving Edward a back massage when they flop on the couch or bed. Shepherd and Edward getting sick at the same time. i got a friend to send me these so i could use them but this was BEFORE i decided to start a batman blog. they drive me nuts every time i see them because they arent on the batman blog and theyre just messy and they just SIT THERE. 
lastly, and i cannot stress this enough, i NEED to write down my blacklight au. it needs to get out of my head and onto paper before i forget like i did last time. tldr my blacklight au is a sort of remix of the injustice world, where superman is evil. it starts off with kid shepherd meeting kid scarecrow and ends with her world hopping to the arkhamverse. i don't know if you've read dark knights metal or know about the Nth dimensions or any of that but i'm trying to bring some of that dc canon into blacklight without making it hella complicated. i should just focus on building up to what would be the start of the injustice story before i get ahead of myself but you all know me. i'm an excitable over-writer with too many ideas .
maybe i should write them down first or something. like on paper rather than a fic or bullet points . sometimes physically writing it helps you get your ideas out...
i have a few other riddler brain worms right now but im keeping this sfw so those worms will stay firmly hidden in my brain closet, where they belong XD
ANYWAY
thank you for asking. its nice to just have, as i put, a blank cheque for mayhem and space to ramble. no one irl in my life is interested in batman so i have to save it all up for this blog and discord 
oh well. cest la vie
- shep 💙 
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randomoranges · 4 years ago
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i’ve had this idea for literal years but would keep forgetting about it, remember it, forget again, remember it etc
finally remembered it at an ish convenient time and sat down to do something about it.
it’s au - can be it’s own, can fit with a multitude of those that already exist.
Cirque du Soleil
 It was a known fact that between the two of them, Étienne was the one who absolutely thrived on spoiling Edward rotten. Étienne took immense pride and pleasure in going all out when it came to planning elaborate dates and finding the perfect gift for him. With time, Edward had come to understand that one of the ways Étienne showed affection was by showering him with attention and so, Edward had learned to deal with it. (Not that he minded.) However, even though Edward didn’t exactly know about all the latest trends and all the greatest places to go for the best unique experience (he had no idea how Étienne managed to stay on top of literally everything going on in the city or how it was he always managed to get a reservation for places that were booked solid), he did also care a whole lot for his boyfriend and he did enjoy making him happy. He took great satisfaction from getting Étienne gifts that he coveted and from seeing him enjoy whatever it was they did for their date.
 Therefore, it was safe to say that Edward had a few cards up his sleeves and this was one of those times when he would put down one of those said cards.
 He had a plan.
 A glorious plan.
 Étienne would never even know what hit him.
 In order for his plan to work, Edward made sure well in advance to let his boyfriend know that he was taking care of their next date. Étienne had been intrigued, but pleased and had thankfully left it at that.
 In essence, the plan was quite simple. He was taking Étienne out for dinner and then they were going to see a show. What Étienne didn’t know and Edward had kept as vague as possible was that Edward was taking him to see the new Cirque du Soleil show.
 Étienne loved Cirque du Soleil. He’d seen a few shows over the years, mostly with his parents, and had always been fascinated by the performances. He had a lot of the music from past shows, including some from shows he hadn’t seen and Edward had gotten to hear a fair amount of it, since he’d started dating him.
 However, tickets to see a show were not cheap and every time a new show came to town, Étienne either always lucked out, or something eventually came up that impeded him from splurging on a ticket. Therefore, when Edward had heard back in January that a new show was coming to the city, he’d quickly jumped on the occasion and gotten two tickets. The show was months away, right in the thick of summer, but – it would be worth it, he knew. And even though it wasn’t their anniversary nor Étienne’s birthday, he figured he was allowed to spoil his boyfriend just because he wanted to and that he didn’t need to justify it. After all, he had a steady job and was making good money. He was good for it.
 The next part of his master plan had been to keep this a secret from Étienne and to make sure that his boyfriend wouldn’t go on and purchase tickets for himself for the same day. He’d kept his ears pealed and had done some sleuthing (mostly asking Étienne’s sister and friends to let him know if Étienne mentioned anything about Cirque du Soleil) and luckily, Edward was able to put his plan in action.
 On the evening of the date, Étienne tried to get some extra information out of Edward, but he wouldn’t budge. He’d made it this far and he was not about to spoil the big reveal. Therefore, the only thing he shared with Étienne was to dress nicely and he left it at that.
 Dinner wasn’t at the latest new place that had just opened or one of the fanciest in town, but he knew that it was one of Étienne’s favourites and his boyfriend looked absolutely delighted that they were going there. Edward tried not to check his watch too many times, fearing that they wouldn’t make it in time, even though he had specifically chosen this particular place in the Old Port since it was close. Étienne didn’t seem to pick up on any of it, which was another blessing and Edward did his best to wine and dine his boyfriend, which really, wasn’t that hard.
 Étienne was always easy to engage in conversation and Edward couldn’t think to a time when he’d run out of things to say to him. They could spend hours talking about the most trivial of things and Edward had fond memories of many such evenings spent together. The only drawback was that he’d been so focused on his time with his boyfriend, stealing a bite from his dish, offering one in return, gently reaching over for his hand and casually bumping their knees together, that he nearly missed when Étienne excused himself to use the washroom and instead made a beeline to pay.
 The waitress was amused by their little squabble and Edward was just relieved that he’d managed to wrangle Étienne’s wallet out of his hands, before his boyfriend could tap his card to the machine.
 “I said tonight was my treat,” He scolded, later, once they were outside and heading towards le Grand Chapiteau. He wasn’t actually mad, but he’d worked too hard for Étienne to go ahead and pay for the meal. He’d fallen for that trap too many times and he couldn’t believe it had nearly happened again.
 “I know, but – you know I don’t mind,” He admitted sheepishly.
 Edward sighed, shook his head, and reached for one of his paint-speckled hands, linking it with his own. “I know, but this is my treat. I’m taking you out. You can dote on me later.”
 Étienne laughed and gave his hand a squeeze as they crossed the street. Normally, Edward didn’t really go for the whole – display of affection in public, but he knew Étienne thrived on that stuff and so he let him link their arms together as they reached the waterfront where the tent was. Edward pretended that it wasn’t their final destination, but he did notice how Étienne slowed down his gait a little and how he watched with masked envy the people who mingled about heading towards the entrance.
 “Can’t believe I missed my chance again,” Étienne said with a forlorn little smile.
 “D’you want to get closer?”
 Étienne hesitated, but Edward led him on saying they could grab a quick photo and then be on their way. Étienne was quick to follow and figured it was as good as it would get until the next show. He took out his phone to snap a photo and just as he was about to head back out, he noticed that Edward seemed to be waiting for him.
 “I don’t think we can exit through there,” Étienne genuinely told him.
 Edward grinned – this was his moment. The one he had been planning for since January. From the inside of the jacket he’d been wearing, he pulled out an envelope and from it, he retrieved the two tickets to the show.
 “What if we had tickets?” He asked innocently as he watched for Étienne’s reaction.
 His boyfriend delivered. Boy did he ever.
 Étienne blinked and slowly walked back towards him. “What do you mean?” He asked, quite serious. “There aren’t any left. I’ve been checking the site for the past month. It’s sold out all the way through.”
 Edward held a ticket in each hand and Étienne slowly, and very tentatively, reached out to touch one, as if to make sure it was real.
 “What if I told you I got these a while back?”He smiled innocently enough, but Étienne still looked far too shocked and surprised.
 “I don’t understand,” Étienne said as he kept stroking one of the tickets as if wanting to make sure it wouldn’t fade away and that he wasn’t dreaming.
 Edward chuckled and looped their arms together as he walked them towards the entrance of the tent. “I got these when they came out. I figured you would enjoy coming here,” He handed the tickets over to the ticket checker and continued walking Étienne towards their seats, while his boyfriend looked completely star-struck and amazed. It was honestly endearing to see the look on his face and Edward silently congratulated himself for being able to carry out his plan.
 “I cannot believe you pulled this off! Behind my back!” Étienne said as they gained their seats. “Édouard! This is too much!” There was no bite to it as Étienne took in the décor and the jumble of people straggling in. “It’s not even my birthday! Or a special occasion!” He went on and Edward laughed and clasped his boyfriend’s hand.
 “As if that’s ever stopped you from doing something for me. Can’t a guy want to take his boyfriend out on a date?” He teased and watched as Étienne huffed.
 “That’s different,” He explained.
 Edward quirked an eyebrow at that, “Do tell.”
 “Well – for starters, I don’t take you out to friggin Cirque du Soleil.”
 “No, but you do a whole lot other stuff for me. Maybe I’d like to splurge on you from time to time as well.”
 Étienne opened his mouth to retort to that, but then closed it. There was no use in arguing. Edward had a point, even if he always preferred showering his beau with gifts and attention.
 Edward grinned, self-amused and pleased that he’d manage to win this time around, and sat back in his seat. Luckily, Étienne didn’t stay annoyed long, not with the gorgeous decorations and sets that were a few feet away. Soon, he was jabbering on about how much he adored Cirque du Soleil and how it had a formative impact on him since the first time he’d seen a show with his parents. He recalled the tale of how he’d gone back home that night and had spent hours past his bedtime drawing all sorts of crazy-outrageous outfits and how he’d dreamt of one day designing a whole line of clothes with bold colours and materials of his own.
 Edward had heard the story countless times before, but it was always nice hearing it again and seeing the way Étienne became animated by it.
 When the first of the performers came out to entertain the crowd as they waited, Étienne fell into an excited chatter about that one time he’d come and how this one unsuspecting guest had fallen into the most ridiculous of pranks. Edward nodded in all the right places, genuinely interested in what his boyfriend had to tell him, and when the lights finally dimmed and the performers left, Étienne quieted down and settled in his seat, leaning into his side.
 Edward took Étienne’s eternally paint-speckled hand in his, feeling bold, and gave it a soft squeeze. His boyfriend turned to look at him and grinned, wide and bright and mouthed to him a soft “thank you” as the opening music started. Edward was just happy to see his boyfriend so pleased and glad that they could do this together – that there was an opportunity for them to do this.
 Throughout the show, there were times when Edward would look at Étienne to see the reactions off his face as he oohed and aahed at every daring acrobatic. He would grasp his hand tighter and gasp at the gravity defying stunts the performers would pull. It was a good show, of that Edward knew and he could tell that his boyfriend was enjoying it immensely, and what truly made it worth it was to see Étienne enjoy it. To see him so genuinely happy.
 When intermission came, Étienne was completely silent for the first few minutes, still trying to process all it was he had just seen. Edward quietly let him have his moment and excused himself to stretch his legs. When he returned, he handed his boyfriend a small bag and Étienne nearly lost it all over again when he found the CD from this show in it.
 “You need to stop doing this.” Étienne berated him, but grinned nonetheless.
 “It’s for your collection,” He simply told him.
 Étienne quickly read the tracks of the second part of the show, curious to see what the titles were, and then carefully put the CD away and looked back at his boyfriend. “I will have my revenge, you know that, right?”
 Edward laughed, not surprised he’d say such a thing. “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t try something, to be honest.”
 Étienne rolled his eyes, before leaning close to peck his cheek, “But – everything else put aside, thank you – for absolutely everything.”
 Edward grinned, pleased, and they both settled for the second part of the show.
 And finally, when the show ended, they slowly made their way out, Étienne talking a mile a minute about everything he had liked about it. He went over every act he had loved and spared Edward no details. Edward guided him out of le Grand Chapiteau after one last stop at the gift shop and once they were outside he made it a point to stop again at the front of the giant yellow and blue tent.
 “Come on, we never got that photo earlier.” He said as he motioned to Étienne to step closer. His boyfriend laughed and leaned in close, as Edward took the photo, “It’ll look good in our photo album.”
  Fin
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sashasgargoyles · 5 years ago
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"i don't want you to regret me" but for brotp eddie and Hamid
also posted on ao3
“Ready to go, Ed?” Hamid asked from the door.
Eddie spun around, looking at his outfit in the mirror with a wide grin on his face. He was wearing a brand new pale gold suit and a cape with sun patterns on it that he hadn’t been able to stop admiring since he’d seen them in the marketplace. “Ready!”
Hamid blinked at the sheer brightness of his friend’s outfit, before smiling. “Great! Thanks for coming with me! None of the others really enjoy these things.”
“I always enjoy your company, Hamid.”
Hamid’s smile brightened and he reached for Ed’s hand to lead him out the door and towards dinner. “That’s so kind of you to say, Eddie. Are you sure you don’t mind? Some of the people I used to go to school with aren’t… the nicest.”
Ed’s expression darkened, his eyebrows drawing together. “Evil-doers?”
“Well, hopefully not,” Hamid said quickly, “But they can be a bit… rude sometimes.”
“Then why do you want to go?”
“Well,” Hamid paused, thinking of the best way he could explain. He wasn’t even entirely sure himself, really, but it was expected of him. Besides, he’d just worked his way back onto his family’s good side, so he’d like to do what was expected as much as possible. At least, the good expectations. “I just think I need to go. Does that make sense?”
“No,” Ed said bluntly. “But I am here to support you! As your friend.” He smiled even wider than usual as he said it, placing a special weight on the word. It was as if it was unfamiliar to him, a special new treasure to be able to say it in reference to himself. Hamid had never asked Eddie about his past, but he had the feeling that before he’d joined the church of Apollo, before he’d met Hamid and his friends, he hadn’t had the best experiences with people.
“I appreciate it.” He squeezed Eddie’s hand as they reached the restaurant where the banquet was being held. “Two for al-Tahan,” he told the maître d’.
“Of course, sir.”
Eddie and Hamid followed the host, and Hamid stopped in his tracks when he saw who was sitting at their shared table. Oh, no.
His heart was pounding in his chest as he looked upon the image of his ex-girlfriend and his former best friend, smiling and holding hands as they sipped their wine and looked over the room.
“All right, Hamid?” Eddie asked as he felt Hamid’s hand, still gripping his own, stop him from moving forward.
“Yes,” Hamid said in a high-pitched, breathless voice. “Everything’s fine. It’s just- perhaps we should go.”
“Go? But we just got here.”
“Yes, but-“ Hamid sighed as he saw Liliana and Gideon notice him. “Never mind. Let’s just get through this.” He gripped Eddie’s hand tighter, drawing on his warmth and confidence as they reached the table.
“Hamid,” Gideon said, a stiff smile on his face that didn’t meet his eyes. “It’s so good to see you.”
Was it? Hamid remembered his last interactions with the two of them. He couldn’t say he’d ever wanted to see them again, after the hell they had separately caused him, but he recognized a man putting on a polite face for the sake of the public eye. He could play along, he supposed. Besides, arguing with them would only cause a scene, and Hamid wasn’t going to ruin his recently recovered reputation.
Hamid had grown, though, since the last time he’d had to deal with Gideon and Liliana, and he’d learned that, well, he has the power to hurt his enemies. He’d never do it, of course, but imaging their faces if he turned into a dragon in front of them…. Well, it was amusing enough to keep him going. He pasted a smile on his face that was almost real. “It’s good to see you as well. Ed, this is Liliana Beekos and Gideon Marsten-Langdon. We used to go to school together. Liliana, Gideon, this is Edward Keystone, he’s a paladin of Apollo.”
The two blinked as they took in Eddie’s blinding attire, but formalities eventually worn out and they each extended a hand to him, which he shook enthusiastically. “Yes, I can see that,” Gideon said, with a sneer that Hamid recognized but that he knew would go over Eddie’s head. There was a matching expression on Liliana’s face, but she schooled it into a polite blankness quickly.
Eddie held his cape to the side, beaming. “Isn’t it great? I got it at the market last week!”
“It’s something,” Liliana said under her breath. Hamid gritted his teeth, reminding himself that, no matter how much he wanted to, turning into a dragon and clawing their eyes out was not a good idea.
Eddie must not have heard her, because his pleased expression didn’t change as he and Hamid sat down at the table.
“So, Hamid,” Liliana asked. “What have you been doing since we saw you in Prague?”
Hamid thought that was a very generous way to say “since you had me arrested” but he wasn’t about to correct her. “I’ve been… traveling, mostly. Doing some work for the meritocrats.” He supposed Wilde still counted as one, if you thought about it loosely.
“You haven’t returned to your studies?” Liliana frowned disapprovingly. “That’s a shame. There’s a new article on the mathematical properties of dimensional distortion I was hoping to discuss with you. Professor Einstein wrote it, and-“
“Oh, we know him!” Eddie grinned. “He’s great! We should talk to him tonight, Hamid. I miss him.”
“What on earth could you possibly have to talk to Einstein about?” Gideon laughed. “The man’s a genius, I doubt he has time for you.”
Eddie’s demeanor, which had been pleasant all night, shifted, and his voice took on a hardness Hamid rarely heard from him. “Professor Einstein is my friend.”
“Einstein has been assisting us in our work,” Hamid chimed in, trying to control the situation. “Ed’s right, Einstein is our friend. He and Ed have become quite close.”
“That’s a shame,” Gideon sighed. “I’d heard the man had gone senile, but I was hoping the rumors were wrong.” His sneer became even more smug as he said, “Clearly that’s not the case if he’s spending his time with paladins. Of Apollo, no less. Airheads, the whole lot.”
Eddie stood up, towering over Gideon even more than he would normally. “I’m not an idiot. And being a paladin of Apollo is a great honor, one you will never be able to achieve. You have too much evil in side you.” It was angrier than Hamid had ever heard him, and it made Hamid stand up and reach for his hand again. Eddie shrugged it away, then turned and walked off.
Hamid turned and glared at his former friends. “The two of you are really horrible, you know that?”
“You only think that because you’ve been away for so long. Honestly, Hamid, even you could do better,” Liliana said, scoffing.
“No, quite frankly I’m not sure there is a better person than Ed in the world, and I’m more than grateful that I have him for a friend now, and not the two of you.” Hamid looked at them disdainfully and, forgoing any hope of redeeming the evening, spat, “Go drop off the side of your precious university,” then ran to catch up with Ed.
He found Eddie standing at the edge of the bridge overlooking the river, his back facing Hamid. “Eddie, I’m sorry about them. I told you, they’re all awful.”
“It’s not your fault,” Ed said. “And- they’re not wrong. I can’t- talk about that kind of stuff.” Hamid reached for Eddie’s hand again, and Eddie pulled it in front of him. “I- I don’t want to hold hands right now.”
“Okay. Could you turn and look at me?” When he did, Hamid said, “They were wrong. You don’t need to be able to talk about… interdimensional rifts. You’ve lived them, and you came out the other side a better person than either of them.”
“I just-“ Eddie sniffed, and Hamid realized he was crying. “I know that you- you’re trying to be a part of this, again, for your family, and- my family pushed me away from this, Hamid, because I wasn’t good enough. I don’t- I don’t want you to regret me.”
Hamid was overcome with the urge to hug him, but he knew his friend wouldn’t want that right now. “Eddie, I meant what I said. You’re better than all of them, and I don’t care about being a part of this life anymore if it won’t accept my friends. Forget about the banquet, okay? All I want to do is have a nice night.” Eddie nodded and Hamid pushed further. “Do you want to go to that ice cream shop we passed on the way in? Honestly, I just had to have a horrible conversation with my ex and her new fiancé, so really I’m owed a little ice cream.”
Eddie let out a soft smile. “Okay.”
They walked side by side for a few minutes until they reached the ice cream parlor, where they ordered two cones, and then sat on a bench outside, overlooking the river. “Mmmmm,” hummed Hamid as he licked his chocolate ice cream. “This is much better than whatever they would have had on the menu.”
Eddie smiled, his mood improved. “It is.” He thought for a moment. “Hamid, could I have a hug now?”
Hamid grinned and leaned over to hug his friend. Eddie was twice his size, and his hugs enveloped Hamid completely, which was one of Hamid’s favorite things about him. “I know tonight was awful, but thank you for coming with me.”
“It wasn’t too bad,” Eddie said cheerfully, pulling back from the hug. “Nothing can ruin ice cream.”
Hamid laughed and tapped his cone against Ed’s. “You’re not wrong there. Next time let’s just skip straight to the ice cream, though.”
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kaijuguy19 · 5 years ago
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Scooby Doo,and the Ink Machine. Chapter 1
New York City, 1946
Car noises blared across the city sky as they drive off to their specific destination. Either they be towards home,work, shopping or really anything that warrants fast travel,it was hard to hear them unless you're hard of hearing. For a guy like Edward Blake it was the city version of hearing cicadas in the countryside which soothed him during his time,slumping over the drawing board as he made sure the lines on the cartoon characters he was doing are smooth as possible. To say that working for the famous Joey Drew owner of Joey Drew Studios and home of renowned cartoon icon Bendy the Dancing Demon demanded blood and sweat along with talent would be the understatement of the century. He lost count on how many social events,and free time he missed out on all because of how his boss demanded overtime from him and his fellow cartoonists. He sighed in annoyance at that,as he placed the finishing touches on the picture of Bendy about to give Alice Angel flowers. Thankful that this was the last cell he had to work on for the night,Eddy started to put everything on his desk away at the folder,and pack his own stuff to carry home.He then heard someone come next to him ,hearing then a mop plop down behind him. Eddy didn't need to ask who was it behind him.
"Anyone else gone home for the night Wally?" Eddy asked without looking at the studio's janitor Wally Franks.
"Well by that you mean the ones that don't have to make sure them ink pipes don't go dynamite on this joint then sure." Wally replied as he moped. "Afraid I can't say the same for myself you know?"
"Connor on your case again?" Eddy asked as he picks up his suitcase.
"Right on the money." Wally said with an annoyed tone. "One little slip up with the monkey wrench apparently lands me doing night shifts as a way to make me more attentive." Wally mops around the middle of the room. "Would it kill Connor to lighten up once in a while? You'd think working in a cartoon studio would make a fella chuckle a bit more."
"He's just a little on edge with what rumors are saying about the studio facing money problems despite what Mr Drew says." Eddy said. "That and the growing number of missing people here isn't helping him I'm sure." Eddy looked around nervously as he said that.
"Yeah well rumors, or not I ain't got time to do some overtime. Getting enough flak from my gal about not spending some more time together." Wally finished the last space in the room then starts to go out. "If I get slammed with doing oil changing the ink equipment next I'm outta here!" 
After seeing Wally leave,Eddy followed out,then making a right turn. He pondered more about the rumors he mentioned Wally about the studio possibly going under. He felt that it might've been the reason why Drew had been making hem do more overtime as a way to pay off whatever dept he owed. Granted Drew talked about many times that the studio was doing fine and normally with a man that's able to make inspiring speeches he'd feel more at ease. However a man like Napoleon Bonaparte likely had said the same thing to his troops during the invasion of Russia,and he knew how they worked out for him at the end. But what worried him more was how people around the studios kept vanishing like ghosts. One especially was Susie Campbell who he remembered last time seeing was distraught about being replaced as Alice angel's voice actress. He was keeping on his toes since they started to begin. He also notice that the newest intern Drew hired named Buddy went missing too. He did like the kid from the few interactions he'd had with him. What didn't help was the strange noises he's been hearing near the medical rooms. Coming from the door that no one's meant to go inside in. Animal like noises he could've sworn were being uttered around that side of the studio. He prayed that nothing will happen to him long enough to see his brother Denny Blake being married to his long time lover. He's glad that Denny from his end was really making enough dough to last his luck for a lifetime along with his children's children when they come. At the very least one of the Blake brothers was getting fortunate at life.
As he reached to the exit,he stopped in dismay on what he almost forgot.
"Dang it!" Eddy muttered under his breath. "Of all the times to forget about my coat." Sighing he turned around and went to the direction to where he hung his coat in the recreation room. He went down the steps leading down to the recreation room,filled with tables, and darting boards on walls. He was about to grab his coat until he heard a clanging sound. He topped still and turned his eyes around.   "Wally is that you?" Eddy called out in a quiet tone. "If this is a joke it's not funny..." Hoping as it was Wally,he was getting the feeling that it wasn't him. 
Eddy backed away slowly,being extra attentive to his surroundings so he can catch who ever was making the noise,and chew out for making a distasteful gag. He kept hearing more clanking,making him want to just dash it out of there,but daring not too. He almost reached the staircase when he notice an odd yet familiar smell.
<i>"Is that ink?" </i> Eddy thought as he noticed more of the inky smell coming to his senses. He suddenly felt something wet,and sticky hitting his back. Heart pounding,and mind, racing in fear, Eddy began to look up to what he hit against.
The face of Bendy that is he assumed to be Bendy's from what face he can clearly see,smiled down at Eddy,as Eddy gasped a silent scream at the shock. The Bendy creature's face was almost covered down with ink but the smile clearly wasn't. Regaining what common sense he had,Eddy backed straight away to move from the creature's arms as it tried to grab him. Eddy ran to the other side of the room as the creature limped after him. Eddy threw tables at it,taking the chance to race down back to the stair case. As he ran up,he heard the creature racing after him. He slammed the door,and locked it after going up,praying it'll hold long enough for him to escape. He charged to the left,as he heard the door breaking open. Dashing some more,he eventually reached the exit,but before he can around the corner,he felt his right foot being grabbed,falling down face flat,eddy scream in terror as he being dragged more and more away from the exit. 
Afterwards no other noise let alone screams of the terrified animator was heard other then wheezing animal noises in Joey Drew Studios.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Present Day:
New Jersey Pine Barrens. Nighttime 
Owls hoot in the night sky as the trees of the infamous Pine Barrens rustles in the night. It was a peaceful sight to behold for sure that is until a giant shape burst out from the trees. The shape was a giant monster that had a demonic hose head,body of a bear,claws of an eagle with hood legs,bat wings,and snake tail that roared in fury as it tried to shake off a rope that was tied around it's tail. 
At the end of the rope a tall skinny young man wearing a green shirt with his dog a Great Dane both clearly hanging on for dear life.
"Like this is the last time I try to play cowboy with a dragon thingy Scoob!" The skinny man cried out to his dog.
"Rikewise here Rhaggy!" Scooby Doo yelled to Shaggy Rogers in turn as they swing around the air like a couple of monkeys hanging for dear life.
The beast roared in fury at the two poor souls then it dove back down to the forest ramming into trees in an effort to shake them off.
"Like-OW-OOF! OWY HEY NOT IN THE MOUTH MAN!" Shaggy yelled in pain,coughing up leaves.
Coming in front of them was a van that was blue and green with the words Mystery Machine written on both sides. A gun came out of top of the van then it fired a net at the creature at full face. The beast roared as it crshed to the ground,knocked out. 
Another young man dressed in a white sweater with an orange ascot came out of the driving side of the van,and rushed quickly to the van. Two other people a beautiful young woman dressed in a purple dress,green scarf,and purple tights,and a nerdy girl with an orange sweater with glasses followed after him.
"I can't believe this worked on the first try!" The man with the ascot said with excitiment. "I mean usually they tend to backfire at first but this is the first time it didn't happen!"
"Like that's great Fred but can ya please get me and Scooby down?!" Shaggy said as he and Scooby hung from branches in a comical fashion.
"Here let me help!" The girl with the purple dress said as he started to climb up. She soon reached them and got out some knives as she cut the branches down. both Shaggy and Scooby fell down softly.
"Like thanks Daphne!" Shaggy said as he rubbed his butt. 
"No problem." Daphne Blake said coming down. "Pays to have outdoor training years ago."
Fred Jones saw upcoming police vehicles drive up. "Right on time. Care to do the honors Velma?" He asked the nerdy girl.
"Like I need to ask Fred?" Velma Dinkley replied in his usual know it all self. She turned to see the chief come up to them with a rightfully concerned look.
"Care to explain me kids on how the flipping heck did you capture the Jersey Devil?!" The chief demanded. "That monstrosity put many of my men and women to hospitals faster then you can say Clockman Diamond!"
"Funny you should mention that Chief." Velma replied going up to the Jersey Devil. "Had this been the actual Jersey Devil it would've done more then put people into hospitals but seeing as on how we've figured out on this is otherwise allow us to show you who's been really behind the Jersey Devil attacks."
She pressed into the monster's neck,making clicking noises as the head falls off revealing itself to be just a high tech suit,worn by a disgruntled man with balding hair,and a glare in his eyes.
"Glen Richards?!" The Chief cried in surprise "But how? Why? He was doing well as the city's electrician!"
"He was. However he didn't always want to be known as such. He had ambitions of being the owner of his own movie studio and was able to get enough funds from his time as an electrician however the problem was that he wanted to set it up at the Pine Barrens but the county council didn't allow it for obvious reason." Velma said.
"So in order to scare people away from the Pine Barrens for good,Richards used his suit making skills he learned from film school to construct the Jersey Devil suit using advance enough tech to make a convincing method to bringing the Jersey Devil legend alive!" Fred joined in.
"It took a little eye for detail to figure out on how the fur on the creature was made from leftover fun used from taxidermy operations." Daphne said plucking out clumps of fur then showing it to the police chief. "This was made from deer fur, so once we were able to figure where the fur came from and where bits of oil were flown about from the hydrolics all we had to do was to set him up and nab him!"
"And I would've gotten away with it too! If it weren't from you snooping goody two shoes suck ups to the law and your flea ridden sorry excuse for a canine!" glen Richards growled as he was led away."
"Hey!" Scooby said with offense.
"Like you could've just said Meddling kids and your dog too man!" Shaggy said.
"THEY MEAN THE SAME THING MORON!" Richards yelled as he was driven off.
"Sheesh! Like someone didn't give him enough hugs." Shaggy said with annoyance.
"Well thanks kids." The chief said shaking Fred's hand. "A lot of folks are gonna rest easy tonight."
"It's our thing chief! Always happy to help!" Fred said with his usual friendliness. The chief then went to his own car and drove off. He then turned around and faced his friends. "Another mystery solved gang!"
"About time too! Scooby Doo!" Scooby said giggling.
Daphne smiled then she heard her phone ring from her purse. She got it out and looked at her friends "Hang on guys! I have to take this." She answered the phone. "Yes?...Oh Mimi it's great to hear from you!...Yes I know I loved your last fashion show!....Huh?....Wait really?!" She said looking surprised then serious. "....You're not pulling my leg right?.....Where?!.....You have it?!....Thank you so much Mimi! I'll tell them about this!..alk to you later!" She hung up the phone and sees her friends looking a little worried.
"You ok Daph?" Fred asked in a concerned tone. "Something happen?"
"Yes Fred but it's the good kind!" Daphne said "It has to do with my great uncle Edward Blake!"
"Edward Blake?" Shaggy asked. "Wait wasn't he one of the animators of-"
"Of the Bendy cartoons? Well sure!" Daphne said with a surprised tone. "You watch them too Shaggy?"
"Like sure Daphne!" Shaggy said with a grin. "It's one of Scoob and mine's top cartoons to watch as kids."
"Surprised you didn't ask us before Rahpne!" Scooby said.
"Ok going fanboy or fangirl in your case Daphne aside what about Edward Blake?" Velma asked now curious.
"Oh right!" Daphne said remembering what she was about to say. "My old friend Mimi works as a fashion designer in New York City,and she said that during one of the renovations near where Joey Drew Studios was at,hey found a couple of items there. Most of which belonged to My great uncle who vanished those years ago."
"So this was a family mystery for a long while now?" Fred asked,looking equally as curious. 
"Yeah." Daphne sighed. "I remember my grandmother talking about on how her father was devastated at his brother's going missing like that. He wasn't totally the same afterwards." She looked up,looking pretty glad. "Mimi said she has his suitcase in hand,and wanted to show it to me to finally get more of an idea of where he went." 
"Wasn't the studio also the subject of urban legends of ink oozing out from the studio's cracks and odd animal noises coming from it?" Velma then inquired. "I remember reading upon New York's urban legends and that was among the more infamous ones."
"Like what now?" Shaggy asked now with a look of horror in his face. Same goes for Scooby.
"Yep." Daphne replied. "If that isn't adding icing on the cake for us I don't know what is."
"Well then." Fred said with a look of great interest coming upon him. "I think we've just found ourselves a new mystery!"
Both Shaggy and Scooby look dejected.
"Well so much for a relaxing weekend right Scoob?" Shaggy said to Scooby.
"Rep." Scooby said nodding his head. "Phooey."
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the-quiet-winds · 6 years ago
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You Clicked Your Heels and Wished for Me (part three)
@ichlugebulletsandcornnuts i broke some hearts on the last one, huh? good. here’s the third and final part for all of you.
[part one] - [part two]
trigger warning for blood, accidental harm
[Part 3: Back to the Street, Down to Our Feet]
Jane books tickets for the next night’s show, doesn’t post about anything on social media, and lets her brain do a tiny fantasy about surprising katherine at the stage door.
her seats are at the back of the stalls, just far away enough that katherine wouldn’t be able to see her, and jane can’t help but feel a little bit excited to watch the show; it’s not often she gets an opportunity to see it from the other side of the curtain. as the show starts she claps along with the audience, taking a moment to appreciate how talented her fellow queens were, and how amazing a job grace was doing covering for her.
jane knows katherine so well, however, that even from a distance she can tell katherine isn’t completely at 100%, but she assumes it’s from missing jane. she smiles at the thought of surprising her later, of seeing the joy on Katherine’s face when she realises her mum was home. it’s not until katherine’s song starts that jane starts to think something more was going on.
katherine tries to call her nerves before the show with the knowledge that jane will be home tomorrow and all will be right.
but she’s not here now.
katherine hates how absolutely weak and worthless she feels without jane, but there’s nothing she can do to make herself feel better.
when her song comes, she starts off alright, but the arrival of the penultimate verses and final chorus sends her sense running away. as it had the previous nights, her free hand reaches up and scratches away at her neck, tearing apart the carefully set make up over healing lines and sending blood trickling away again as she cries out the final words, images of her previous life flashing in front of her eyes.
jane gasps as katherine claws at her neck, revealing healing scratches and fresh new wounds. she can’t take her eyes off the dripping blood and it suddenly hits her; this is what had been happening. it was so much more than katherine missing her, she was actively falling into some kind of unhealthy mindset. had this been happening every day, she wonders. jane suddenly jumps to her feet, eyes fixed on katherine, and a woman behind her hisses to her to sit down.
she’s does as she’s told, much as she hates to admit it. she can’t cause a scene, can’t embarrass katherine in the middle of her number, especially not when she’s acting like this.
jane can’t take her eyes off of the dark crimson blood, the lights seeming to accentuate it.
katherine falls to her knees upon finishing the song, chest heaving as she’s hunched like an animal on the stage. she staggers back to her feet as the other queens filter back on the stage.
the rest of the show passes slowly for jane, who can’t get her brain off of what will conspire at the stage door.
as soon as the show is over, she books it out, trying to beat katherine, and waits in the cold to see her girl.
it doesn’t take long for the door to open and for katherine to step out. she’s looking down at her phone without really looking up, and it takes her a few seconds to realise there’s someone there. when she does, however, she freezes.
“hello, kat,” jane says softly. katherine drops her phone and her bag onto the pavement with a clatter, not even caring that she probably shattered her phone screen. “mum,” she whispers, and then in the next moment she’s in jane’s arms, clinging to her like a little kid.
jane holds katherine tightly. she had missed her as much as she had been missed. she’s so happy to have her girl back in her arms that she almost forgets about what she had seen.
almost.
jane pulls back quickly, hands immediately holding katherine’s cheeks to push her chin up, fighting a quiet gasp at the drying blood marks on her neck.
katherine flushes slightly. “it’s nothing,” she mumbles awkwardly, but jane frowns.
“this isn’t nothing, love. it looks really sore. does it hurt?”
“only a little bit,” katherine shrugs. jane gently runs her thumb over one of the raised red lines and katherine hisses in pain. jane sighs.
“lets head back home, love, and i’ll clean this all up for you.”
“okay,” katherine agrees in a small voice. there was an unspoken promise in jane’s tone that they were going to talk about what happened onstage when they got home, and katherine wasn’t exactly looking forward to that. still, being with jane took priority over everything right now.
jane leads her to their car and helps her in. the entire drive is silent, because katherine can’t bring herself to say anything at all.
when they get home, jane has katherine take her shoes off before leading her upstairs and laying her down on her bed. she leaves for just a moment and returns with cotton pads and antiseptic.
“this might sting a bit, love,” she warns.
katherine gives a tiny nod and jane gets to work cleaning up the scratches. katherine winces and lets out tiny hissing sounds when the antiseptic stings but she doesn’t say anything. finally jane sets the cotton pads down and takes a minute to inspect the scratches.
“that should do for now, kat,” she says. she stands to put away the antiseptic and katherine sits up, hugging her knees to her chest. the feeling of dread in her stomach grows as jane returns; she knows jane is going to want to talk about it. sure enough, jane gives her a gentle look as she perches on the end of the bed.
“now, love, what happened?”
katherine closes her eyes and gives a shrug. “i had this dream the night you left,” she says faintly, as if she herself isn’t even aware she’s speaking. “i was back in the palace but it was different. henry...he decided he was going to-to kill me himself.” her hand creeps up to her neck, not scratching but simply resting. “he grabbed my neck and just held on.” she swallows. “after that...i could just feel it every time i performed.” her voice lowers further and she drops her head. “and i didn’t have you to tell me it wasn’t real.”
“oh, kat,” jane sighs. “love, i’m sorry. you should have told me, i’d have been on the next flight home.”
“no,” katherine shakes her head defiantly. “no, i didn’t want that. i didn’t want to ruin your trip.”
“kat, your safety and happiness matters more to me than some trip,” jane says softly, reaching out and moving katherine’s hand away from her neck.
“but it’s pathetic,” katherine half-laughs, drawing in on herself even more. “i need to be able to do things by myself. i can’t rely on you for everything, or you’ll never be able to do stuff by yourself.” katherine looks up at jane, sniffling slightly. “don’t you think it’s pathetic?”
jane closes her eyes for just a moment, trying to figure out how to word her response. “kat,” she begins quietly, “there is absolutely nothing pathetic about you, believe me.” she reaches out and takes both of katherine’s hands in hers, finding her momentum. “you are one of the strongest people i’ve ever met, love, but even the strongest people break down sometimes.” she dips her head to catch katherine’s eyes. “but i promise you, my little seymour, that you are the farthest thing from pathetic.”
katherine glances down. “it doesn’t feel like it, sometimes.”
“kat-” jane starts but katherine cuts her off.
“don’t. please, don’t pity me. i... i just want to be normal.”
“i don’t pity you, love,” jane says softly. “i love you, and i want you to be happy. that’s all. and i want to help you be happy, so if you feel like this again, please, don’t hide it from me.”
katherine can’t meet jane’s eyes. “i just...” she sighs, running a hand over her face, then her hair. “i don’t want to be a burden on you.”
jane gasps and opens her mouth to speak when katherine cuts in with that same somber tone.
“i know you say i’m not. but it just feels like that. with always having to be near you and always coming to you with my problems...” she trails off, eyes fixed on the duvet, “you have problems too. and you should get to enjoy things, like talking about edward with a historian and touring istanbul.”
“kat, love, i do enjoy things,” jane says, gently but firmly. “every second I get to spend with you is a joy, especially when you’re feeling safe and secure too. making you happy is what makes me happy, love, and i’d much rather spend time with you and make sure you’re okay than travel to anywhere in the world. and that is a promise.”
“but, how do you know you won’t come to resent me for it?” katherine asks, still not looking at her. jane cups her face gently and turns her to look at her.
“because you’re my daughter, kat, and i love you. i could never resent you, not when you make me so happy.”
katherine still doesn’t believe her, not entirely, not when her entire past has taught her that anyone who loved her would leave, but she allows herself to pretend. jane’s words sound so honest, so caring, that katherine can’t help the tears that start to well behind her eyes. none of them ever break the surface, but it’s enough for a lump to close her throat and prohibit her from responding.
jane sees the tears, and the red lines on her neck and it’s all too familiar. she starts to tear up herself - how could she have let this happen to her daughter?!
“i’m sorry, love,” she whispers, pressing a soft kiss to katherine’s forehead
katherine shifts to sit next to jane and rests her head on her shoulder. “it’s okay,” she half-shrugs. “wasn’t your fault.”
“i knew something was wrong,” jane sighs.
“i mean, i did try to hide it,” katherine mumbles, looking slightly embarrassed. “you couldn’t have known, really.”
jane rests her cheek against katherine’s head. she silently contemplates for several moments before finding the nerve to speak again. “i should have done something more. not just let you wallow. that’s not something a mum should do.”
katherine doesn’t reply, instead quietly shifting closer. jane wraps an arm around her as katherine curls up against her.
“i love you, sweetheart,” she murmurs, kissing the top of katherine’s head gently. “and i’m here for you, i promise. you can always talk to me about anything that’s worrying you and i’ll always do my best to help. that’s a promise, kat,” she repeats.
the room sinks into silence after that, the only movements being soft breathing and the reconciliation of two souls.
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thesportssoundoff · 6 years ago
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“A welterweight main event pitting a big 170-er against a 155er that actually makes sense” UFC Fight Night In London Preview
Joey
March 13th
WHEW! The UFC often is very hit or miss when it runs a show in England as evidenced by some real clunkers (the Corey Anderson vs Jimi Manuwa card) and some really damn good shows (Bisping vs Akiyama, Bisping vs Anderson) and mostly a ton of soft stuff in the middle. This journey to London is actually really deep if somewhat light on name value. Granted the idea of seeing a guy who headlined a PPV (Darren Till) vs a 10+ year veteran of the sport who happens to also be popular (Masvidal) is a solid headliner but the rest of the show is really just a bunch of damn good well put together fights. Volkan Oezdemir tries to snap a two fight losing skid vs LHW's most well rounded prospect in Dominick Reyes, Gunnar Nelson vs Leon Edwards is a FANTASTIC fight with a slight snoozer potential behind it, Nate Wood vs Teco Quinones is a fantastic bantamweight tilt and the prelims are loaded with good fights like Tom Breese vs Ian Heinisch, Dan Ige vs Danny Henry, the debut of well known prospect Mike Grundy and the return of Arnold Allen.  An early start time + a lack of superstars means you'll probably forget about this one before the weekend is through BUT I can think of worse ways to kill a Saturday morning.
Fights: 13
Debuts: Nicolae Negumereanu, Mike Grundy
Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: 3 (Alessio Di Chirico OUT, Cezar Ferreira IN vs Tom Breese/Carlos Diego Ferreira OUT, Ian Heinisch IN vs Tom Breese/Gokhan Saki OUT, Nicolae Negumereanu IN vs Saparbek Safarov)
Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 6 (Darren Till, Jorge Masvidal, Gunnar Nelson, Leon Edwards, Volkan Oezdemir, Priscila Cachoeira)
Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC: 6 (Jorge Masvidal, John Phillips, Jack Marshmann,  Volkan Oezdemir, Marc Diakiese, Saparbek Sarafov)
Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: 9 (Dan Ige, Danny Henry, Leon Edwards, Dominick Reyes, Jose Teco Quniones, Nathaniel Wood, Danny Roberts, Claudio Silva, Arnold Allen)
Main Card Record Since Jan 1st 2017 (in the UFC): 27-12
Darren Till- 4-1 Jorge Masvidal- 1-2 Gunnar Nelson- 2-1 Leon Edwards- 4-0 Volkan Oezdemir- 3-2 Dominick Reyes- 4-0 Nathaniel Wood- 2-0 Jose Quinonez- 2-0 Claudio Silva- 1-0 Danny Roberts- 3-1 Jack Marshman- 1-3 John Phillips- 0-2
Fights By Weight Class (yearly number here):
Welterweight- 3 (18) Featherweight- 3 (11) Middleweight- 2 (7) Light Heavyweight- 2 (10) Lightweight-  1 (15) Bantamweight- 1 (13) Women’s Flyweight- 1 (8)
Heavyweight- (7) Women’s Bantamweight- (2) Women’s Strawweight- (6) Flyweight- (4)
2019’s Records We Keepin Track Of:
Debuting Fighters (6-13): Nicolae Negumereanu, Mike Grundy
Short Notice Fighters (6-5): Nicolae Negumereanu, Ian Heinisch
Second Fight (18-5):  Ian Heinisch
Cage Corrosion (Fighters who have not fought within a year of the date of the fight) (5-8): Priscila Cachoeira, Jorge Masvidal, Saparbek Sarafov, Joseph Duffy, Jose Quinones
Undefeated Fighters (7-8): Nick Negumereanu, Dominick Reyes
Fighters with at least four fights in the UFC with 0 wins over competition still in the organization (4-4): Jack Marshman, Joe Duffy
Weight Class Jumpers (Fighters competing outside of the weight class of their last fight even if they’re returning BACK to their “normal weight class”) (7-5):
Twelve Precarious Ponderings
1- This main event is tricky and I'm wondering if the UFC are maybe expecting a bit too much from Darren Till. Till's 2018 was complicated; he struggled with a weight cut in a spotlight show designed to make him into a big star, beat Wonderboy in a very close fight and then made a quick-ish turnaround to fight Woodley in September, getting smelted in the process.  Till has said all of the right things, he did wind up jumping back in at welterweight (after talking about middleweight) and he's fighting a guy who you have to be REALLY special to make look bad. Masvidal is the king of the close decisions and while he's taking yet another road game fight, he's fighting a guy who is prone to lapses in activity who also is coming off his first career loss and in dominating fashion. Stylistically Till should be able to do whatever he wishes against a bloated 155er coming off a 15 month layoff but I think Masvidal is a more than live dog here. There's also a damn good chance this doesn't happen because Till whiffs on weight and comes in at like 174 and Masvidal passes.
2- So we're 100% sure that Askren vs Till is next if Darren wins, right?
3- Often times I'm reminded of an important quote in sports twitter when it comes to prospects. It has many variations but the most common prospect joke is "Learn 'em on Friday, fall in love by Saturday and ready to divorce them by Monday." MMA prospecthood is often a journey of learning, falling in love, violently falling out of love at the first sign of trouble then getting to say "I was in all along!" if it ends positively. It feels like Dom Reyes is currently somewhere between Saturday and Monday. Dominick Reyes has had rarely any trouble in his stroll through the undercurrent of 205 lbs, walking through the likes of Jared Cannonier and Jeremy Kimball before getting a big test in OSP. He pretty much dominated the fight although he couldn't leave with the finish (essentially robbed from a magnificent buzzer beater). Fans aren't judging Reyes by whether or not he can be a sizable contributor to the middle of the division, they're judging by him by whether or not he can beat Jon Jones. As such, there are some folks who think he's going to be amazing and some off the bandwagon entirely. The journey is dependent on what you seek. He gets Volkan Oezdemir in what is the next major test.
4- Why is Jack Marshman vs John Phillips on this main card? I mean I know all of these fights are on the same network and nothing matters but come on now.
5- If I told you that Claudio Silva was undefeated in the UFC spanning nearly five years now, would you even believe me?
6- Leon Edwards is one of those dudes who seems sort of stuck in no man's land at 170 lbs. He isn't a violent finisher, he's not a big talker and he's not a guy who is going to draw a ton of attention in any sort of a fixed market. As such, he's just running through a lot of guys and not getting anywhere a la Santiago Ponzinibbio minus the Ponz finishes. As such, this Nelson fight is BIG for him. Gunnar still has plenty of clout at 170 lbs and while Edwards SHOULD in theory be bigger by virtue of beating Cowboy Cerrone, that fight took place at 6 AM on Fight Pass which is pretty much like running your show on incognito mode. Gunnar is also a really odd stylistic match up for Nelson; the kind of guy he hasn't struggled with in the past but the sort of athlete he hasn't had to face in a run with dudes like Peter Sobotta and Bryan Barberena. It's a risky venture either way for two very good fighters.
7- Even though she lost in her debut, I'm not giving up on Molly McCann. She missed weight and was in her debut which are normally two tough factors to overcome. Keep an eye on her on the prelims.
8- Jose Quinones vs Nate Wood is going to be a ton of fun as Quinones is activity and accuracy over power and pacing while Wood is all pacing, incredibly active with his hands and developing even more of a ground game. This one has some spoiler-ish tendencies to it with Quinones a more than live dog in my estimation.
9- This show feels so naked without a HW fight. Like why even have a show?
10- If Saparbek Safarov can not beat a Romanian can crusher on like two weeks notice then I honestly don't know what you do with the dude.
11- Ian Heinisch vs Tom Breese is a great fight that has some snoozer potential. Heinisch cut his teeth in LFA (and the DWCTS) before upsetting Cezar Mutante in his debut and Tom Breese was a good WW prospect who has all the potential in the world at 185 lbs. Keep a real close eye on this one.
12- Are we going to FINALLY find out the elusive 5th main card fight for UFC 236?
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edxwin-elric · 7 years ago
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Chemistry (Part 2)
Part 2: Prom Night
Rating: T
Pairing: Edwin/Edward Elric x Winry Rockbell
Disclaimer: I don’t own Fullmetal Alchemist.
Word Count: 2110
Description: Part 2 of this Edwin Thing
Modern School AU where Edward is jealous when Winry talks about other boys, but she’s completely oblivious.
A/N: Here’s the next bit! Enjoy!
tag || first || ffn || ao3
previous || next
Winry
“Hey, Win. Where’s your hothead?”
I take another sip of punch and turn to Paninya who just appeared at the refreshment table.
“Over there.” I nod to where Edward has decided to spend the night sulking in the corner.
“Why isn’t he with you?” she frowns.
“I have no clue,” I answer quietly, sipping more punch to keep the annoying lump in my throat from turning to into actual tears.
I mean…I don’t understand it. We got here and took a few cheesy pictures together. He was cracking stupid jokes, and I was sort of floating in a prom bubble thinking maybe sometime tonight while we’re dancing or sitting together he might admit his feelings for me.
And then suddenly he went rigid and started acting all bizarre again. I tried to ask what was wrong, but he just stormed off to the corner where he had a heated discussion with Al, and then pulled out his phone.
At first, I was confused. And then I was annoyed. And now I’m just sort of frustrated. And also hurt. It’s not like I did anything to set him off. Why can’t he just talk to me like a normal person?
“Do you want me to go talk to him?”
I blink and look over at my friend again.
“I’m not sure that’ll do any good,” I tell her quietly, fidgeting with the skirt of my dress—my wildly expensive dress I had to beg Granny to let me buy but that I had to have because it exactly matches Edward’s eyes.
“Can’t hurt to try.” She grins and starts off across the room.
I try not to watch, but I also want to see what happens, so I attempt to be sneaky. He makes a face at whatever she says first. Then he looks over at me, and I quickly look away. When I look back at them, his face is all red, but that could be for a million reasons, so I don’t know—oh. He’s coming over here.
Oh no. What do I do?
Wait. It’s just Ed. I don’t need to get worked up over—
“Do you want to dance?”
He says it so suddenly, and…robotically I almost misunderstand him.
“What?”
“Do you…want to dance?” he repeats it, the red in his cheeks getting redder.
“Um, yeah.” I nod, biting my lip. “I’d like that.”
“Cool.” He nods and clears his throat.
I set down my drink, and then take his somewhat extended hand. He leads us onto the edge of the dance floor, and I forget how to breathe when his hands slide around my back, one resting on the dip in my spine while the other settles between my shoulder blades. I tentatively put my hands on his shoulders, but he tilts his head and raises his eyebrows, so I blush and slide my arms around his neck.
“Since when are you taller than me?” I whisper, leaning toward his ear.
“We’re the same height,” he answers with a frown.
“I’m wearing four-inch heels,” I remind him.
“I must’ve hit my growth spurt when you weren’t looking,” he murmurs, one of his hands coming up to play with a piece of my hair.
“Why are you being so moody tonight?” I venture carefully.
“Wh-what are you talking about?” he sputters, and I roll my eyes.
“You ran off earlier,” I remind him. “What was that about?”
“I just…” He swallows and dips his head so his lips are brushing my ear. “I got…jealous, okay?”
“What?” I jerk back and blink at him.
“Don’t make a big deal out of it. It’s not–”
“What do you mean you were jealous?” I whisper over him. “Jealous of who?”
“Ryan,” he grinds out. “He was… You didn’t seem to notice, but the whole time I was talking to you he was undressing you with his eyes.”
“So, you stormed off?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I tried to pull you away, but you got belligerent, and…he got this smug look… And then you immediately started waving at him. I needed to cool down.”
“I don’t like him like that,” I tell him for the billionth time. “How many times do I have to say–”
“He likes you like that,” he cuts me off. “And regardless, he pisses me off.”
“Why does it bother you so much?” I press carefully.
“Huh?”
“That Ryan likes me. Why does that annoy you?”
He looks away and then at the floor, his blush coming back hard.
“Ed?”
“Because I like you, okay?” he blurts out at the same time he lets me go. “There. I said it. Feel free to laugh at me or what the hell ever.”
He turns and starts walking off, leaving me speechless on the dance floor. I almost don’t notice the couple next to me stopping until the girl leans over and whispers in my ear.
“Was that Edward?”
I blink and turn to find Lan Fan looking after my vanishing date.
“Why’s he storming off like that?” her boyfriend, Ling, asks loudly, drawing attention from other couples. “Is he that bad of a dancer?”
“No,” I mutter, feeling blood rush to my face. “It’s not…”
“Are you okay?” Lan Fan asks with concern, but I shake my head.
“I don’t know,” I confess. “He…he just said…”
He just said he liked me. I mean, he admitted it. But then he got all flustered and ran away. Such an Ed thing to do. The idiot.
“I have to go after him,” I mumble. “Excuse me.”
Grabbing my skirt in my hands, I lift the hem and take off after my dumb prom date.
Only…when I reach the place where I last saw him, I can’t find him anywhere.
Edward
God, I fucked that up. I should’ve just kept my mouth shut. Winry doesn’t like me. Even if she is telling the truth and she doesn’t have it bad for Ryan, she never dropped a single hint that she could even possibly be into me.
But I just had to tell her I like her. Like the shithead I am.
I’m tempted to look back at her to see if she’s doubled over with laughter at what an utter fool I am. But my pride is already stinging enough without that visual blow.
Now I don’t know what to do. How am I ever going to look at her again? She’ll probably start avoiding me now. Since being around someone who has feelings for you, but that you have no affection toward is the definition of uncomfortable.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I should talk to Al. He’s good with this stuff. He can tell me what to do.
“Going somewhere, Elric?”
I jerk and bite back a sneer at the familiar voice. I look up at Mr. Mustang who is standing casually beside the refreshment table with his hand shoved in his pocket.
“Looking for my brother,” I mutter.
“I just saw him take Miss Chang out to the courtyard,” he volunteers with a smirk. “Thinking of crashing their alone time?”
“Like that’s any of your business.”
“It might be.” He shrugs. “If–”
“Here, sir. I thought you might be thirsty.”
I take a step back as Ms. Hawkeye appears at his side holding a plastic cup of punch.
“Oh, uh, thank you.” He takes it from her, and I’m afraid I might puke from how he’s looking at her.
She coughs and looks to the side.
"Weren’t you going somewhere?” he turns back to me with an impatient look, and I almost burst into laughter.
“Yeah. Bye.”
I snicker quietly to myself as I slip out the side entrance to the courtyard. As soon as the door shuts behind me, I sober up. As funny as it is to watch Mr. Mustang attempt to not-flirt with his T.A., I have bigger issues right now.
“Al? Alphonse,” I hiss into the courtyard garden as I wander through the dimly lit space. “Al—oh.” I turn a corner around a hedge and step back.
Apparently, Mustang wasn’t kidding about Al and May since I clearly interrupted a pretty intense make out session.
“What the hell, brother?” He disengages from his girlfriend and stands to his feet, stepping away from the bench they were cuddling on. I wince internally as I see his petite date duck her head. I embarrassed her. Fuck. Al will never forgive me for this.
“I’m sorry,” I start quickly. “I just need–”
“Where’s Winry?” he interrupts.
I swallow and run a hand over the back of my head.
“Uh…I left her inside.”
“Alone?” He raises his eyebrows, and I cringe.
“I needed to get away for a minute.”
“Why? So, you could crash my night?”
“No.” I straighten, my jaw getting tight. “I…”
I glance at May again and pull my brother further away.
“I told Winry I like her,” I confess.
“You did? Really?”
“Yeah.” I swallow. “And then I…ran away.”
“You did what?” He frowns.
“She doesn’t like me!” I hiss. “What was I supposed to do?”
“Man the hell up,” he bites back. “Please, God, tell me you didn’t just leave her on the dance floor.”
Oh shit.
“Seriously, brother? You tell a girl you like her and then do something as stupid as that? No wonder she’s always throwing wrenches at you.”
“Come on, Al. Help me! What do I do?”
“Go back in there and apologize for starters.”
I groan. Why am I always apologizing to Winry?
“And then you need to hear her out.”
“Yeah because listening to her rejection is going to improve my night.”
“You don’t know that she’s going to reject you,” he says quickly. “In fact, I highly doubt she will.”
“What?” I blink.
“Winry’s been in love with you since you were ten,” he goes on. “Only the two of you were too busy bickering to see it.”
I feel my mouth drop open, but no words will come out.
“Go back inside and find her. Apologize,” he repeats. “And then if you still can’t come up with something to say, just kiss her.”
“What?” I choke.
“Trust me.” He grins. “Kissing her is a great way to communicate your feelings.”
I glance over my shoulder at his girlfriend, and she gives me a short wave before turning her eyes to my brother.
Fuck. I gotta get out of here.
“Thanks.”
I nod and start for the school entrance.
“Yeah, sure. Just don’t come find me again.”
I shake my head at him as I slip back inside and head down the hall. Hopefully, Winry will be pretty understanding when I get back to her. I mean, she knows I’m a fucking moron, even if I hate when she calls me that. She’ll forgive me.
On the other hand, I did just abandon her on the dance floor in the middle of prom. During a slow dance.
Shit.
Winry
Did he leave? Was he that upset about his confession that he went home? Without me?
I take a slow breath and do another scan of the room, even as I suck my lower lip in between my teeth and begin chewing on it. I can’t believe Ed would do this… Both admitting his feelings for me and leaving me alone in the middle of prom.
I’m ready for the emotional rollercoaster of this evening to be over. Only I can’t find him to set things straight.
Grr.
“Winry. I found you.”
I jump and look at the voice only to find Ed walking toward me in the deserted hallway that runs to the courtyard.
“There you are,” I hiss. “Where have you–”
“Look. I’m sorry I disappeared like that. I just–”
“You said you–”
“I know what I said, but—wait. Have you been crying?” His eyebrows snap together, and I shift my weight.
“No. Of course not.”
“You look upset.”
“Well, in case you forgot, you sort of announced that you–”
“Right,” he interrupts again. “About that. I… Winry, you…”
“Edward, would you just–”
“Fuck it.”
I blink, about to ask what that means, when suddenly, his face is coming toward mine. I don’t have time to move away before it’s happening. His mouth is on mine, and I’m…we’re…
Oh my God. We’re kissing.
[To Be Continued…]
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the-fiction-witch · 7 years ago
Text
Birthday
REAL LIFE: 1800′S COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: SMUTTY
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THOMAS’ POV:
When I woke I was surprised to see Y/N still laid blissfully asleep beside me I grabbed my pocket watch and it’s almost ten so put it down and turn wrapping my arms around her tightly giving her neck and shoulder tiny kisses making her groan and shift in the bed “Y/N it’s time you were up darling” I whisper in her ear
“no” she groans
“Y/N, come on…you should know what today is” I smirk giving her tones of kisses
“I don’t wanna get up, Today is cancelled” she sighed
“Darling, come on its time you were up” I Laugh at her giving her more kisses “It’s a very special day” I tell her
“No I’ve aged” she sighs “I’m old” she complains
“your still un measurably beautiful to me Y/N” I tell her turning her around to face me and giving her a tighter cuddle “happy Birthday Darling” I smile giving her head a kiss
“Thank you” she smiles “Do I get my present?” she giggled
“Later” I smirk pulling her even closer letting her foot stoke up my leg as she smirked back and I moved one hand to stoke back her hair and tap her little nose
“Why can’t I have my present now?” she smirked so I sighed glancing at the door open a crack the outside dark lightened only slightly by the light coming through our window in here the hallway as quiet as a ghost
“Well, I suppose.” I smirk “But…you have to be very quiet Y/N so you don’t wake Millie” I smirk moving to kiss her neck rather passionately sucking on her collar bone leaving a little hickey there that little palace I know she loves moving my hand down between her
“MUMMY!” Millie screamed making us stop
“Later” I tell her quickly giving her a kiss before Millie jumped on our bed
“Happy Birthday Mummy!” she yells excitedly giving Y/N a little bouquet of flowers
“Aww Millie there lovely” Y/N smiles taking them and smelling them “Thank you very much” she smiles
“Daddy didn’t help me at all” she giggled
“Hey! You little liar” I laugh and Millie happily ran off downstairs
“How much later?” she giggles
“We will see, depends on how good you are” I smirk getting up out of bed expecting her to do the same but she lays back in bed smirking at me as I grab my underwear from the floor and slipping them on “What?” I ask
“It’s my birthday, I’m enjoying the show” she giggles
“You are a very dirty girl” I laugh putting my pants on intentionally choosing the tight pair she loves me in “Just because it’s your birthday little lady does not mean you can get away with whatever you like” I laugh getting my shirt and about to slip it on
“Not that one” she giggles
“Oh? Why not?” I ask
“I don’t like that one” she giggles
“This is what I mean” I laugh putting that one back and getting the one I know she likes “Why do you like this one so much?” I ask her
“I don’t know, you look pretty in it” she giggles so I laugh finishing doing it up leaving the few buttons at the top undone and pulling my suspenders up before going and sorting my hair
“Are you going to get dressed today?” I ask her
“Yes, I just wanted to wait for you” she laughs getting up out of bed slipping her underwear on and looking around for more of her clothes where they just got thrown around the room last night where we were late to bed knowing we had to be up early today, as we are throwing a party for Y/N’s birthday not to big just a few friends coming over but there would be cake, Oh Her cake
“I’ve got stuff to do okay Honey, I will see you in a bit” I tell her giving her a little kiss which she quickly returns before I rushed off downstairs Millie dressed as well now just needing me to do the back of her dress up for her as she ran off to the garden to work on the little tables and such for the party I went to the living room book case to find Y/N’s little cook book but I couldn’t find it on any of the shelf so I went into the office and it was in there oh yes I brought it in there with me one day I had little to do and taking it back to the kitchen with me turning though the little hand bound pages with little drawings of the little things Y/N’s comes up with flicking though the pages till I found the cake she makes the most often, she made this on our little honeymoon and when Millie turned two she even made this one so long ago now when we first met she cake she brought to dinner but I was going to jazz it up a little bit adding lots of chocolate and strawberries after a very long time so long in fact the cake was cooling getting ready to decorate with me and Millie working on sorting all the stuff out even if she’s eating half of it, I admit I ate a few bits of chocolate till at last Y/N arrived hopping down the stairs in her cute little purple dress she came in and tried to see what we were up to
“Tell me now” she sighs
“No Mummy you’re not allowed to know” Millie giggled
“Go on go for a walk or something, go on shoo” I tell her pushing her towards the door
“Okay, Okay, I’m going” she says getting her coat and going off into the Village
“Right we need to get on” I tell Millie “Right once we finish this, you need to run off and  get jack and kim okay” I tell her and she nods happily stealing another bit of chocolate so I took it off her and put her on strawberry duty cause she’s not to fond of strawberries, go figure both me and Y/N love them but Millie hates them she says they taste like worms, how she knows what worms taste like worries me deeply but anyhow I filled the insides of the cake with cream and jam and stuck the two together like the book says then putting the book away as we melted the chocolate and covered the cake all over in the sweet melted milk chocolate then putting loads of sweet strawberries all over the sides and the top Millie looked a bit board so I gave he the spoon for the chocolate and she ran off happily letting me finish my work getting the last few strawberries and pushing them up with some cream and some icing sugar and putting it into a piping bag and writing in a very cursive lettering on the top ‘Happy Birthday Y/N’ I thought about putting her age on there but… she would be mad if I did, letting all our friends know how old she is once I put the cake away in the pantry I heard the door and I was Jack and Kim, Kim holding hands with Millie Jack rushed in and hugged me “Hey Thomas” he smirked
“Hey jack” I laugh
“How does it feel being married to an old lady” he laughed
“Lovely actually, she gives me sweet’s after sex and she instantly forgets all the bad stuff I do” I laugh “Don’t talk like that around her she’ll kill you” I laugh as many others arrived including Harry, Jacob, Olivia and Kentia Martin, Even Bailey from the Store and Edward Harrow from the notaries it really was like half the Village turned up for Y/N’s birthday which was so nice, only a few years ago they hardly noticed she excited even treating her like a stain on their jacket that wouldn’t wash out but now they treat her like a normal person in the village even a friend to some, I think a lot of it was back when the Illness came she saved so many people’s lives they couldn’t really hate her so bad after all that without her magic many people here would be dead. After cracking a nice bottle of wine as people mingled around the dining room and garden chatting and debating amongst them self’s for a while “Where is the lady then?” jack asked
“I don’t know didn’t you see her on the way here I only set her out for a while, she’ll be back soon don’t worry” I explain and Just as I finished that sentence I heard a familiar song and soon enough Y/N stepped through the door and looked around very surprised at all the people here she saw me and looked rather jokingly un happy with me rushing and hugging me “WOAH Hi honey” I laugh
“Why did you do this?” she asks
“Because My beautiful wife deserves to have a nice birthday for once in her life” I laugh
“But I hardly know any of these people” she says
“You know jack and kim, and uhhh the notary he married us, and uhhhh okay good point, but you’re my wife that’s enough” I shrug
“Great so half the people know me as the doctor’s wife” she laughed
“That’s not a bad thing” I shrug
“Give me wine” she sighs so I laugh giving her a glass the party went on pretty well her chatting to lots of people and such like until it got a little later and Kim came over to us without Millie for once
“Hello kim” Y/N smiled
“Hello Mrs Weller, Happy birthday” he smiled
“Thank you kim” she laughed giving him a little kiss on the head
“Your welcome mrs, But Could I have a word with Dr Weller?” he asked sweetly
“Uh sure” I shrug
“I wanted to ask if maybe you could have a chat with my daddy” he giggled
“what about?” I ask
“About maybe arranging something for me and Millie” he smiled widely
“What like a play date or something?” I ask rather unsure why he’s being so formal about all this
“No I wanted to marry her” he smiled
“You what?” I ask in shock
“I would very much like to marry Millie some day when we are older I thought it best to ask her daddy first” he explained
“You want to marry Millie… Your five” I say in shock
“I know But one day I will be big and I love her very much I want to marry her so, so badly, I promise I will take care of her”
 “Oh goodess” Y/N said in shock before her hand left mine I glanced to her and OH MY GOD! She fainted.
“Whoa! Y/N are you alright?” I ask her rushing to her side
“That’s normal for a women like her, slightest shock knocks them out” A man laughed
“I will take her to the office, Uh Millie you are in charge till mummy wakes up” I tell her
“Okay Daddy” she smiled back
“I suggest you run that idea by your father before asking again Kim and perhaps ask my daughter her opinion on that” I tell him before carefully taking Y/N off to the office and shutting the door “Okay Y/N your away from the party you can stop now” I laugh but nothing “Come on Y/N I know you, you don’t faint like some classical royal lady” I laugh but still nothing “Honey you’re really starting to worry me now” I tell her “Y/N you haven’t really fainted have you? It wasn’t that shocking” I laugh but still nothing so I grab some smelling salts and put them by her nose but nothing “Y/N I know your faking it I know you” I laugh but still no movement at all not even a flicker under her eye lids I check her over and she is breathing normally and her heart is beating fine “Y/N I’m leaving now” I tell her but still nothing “Okay I’m going, I’m leaving…never coming back…abandoning you with your soon to be married daughter” I say getting quieter as if walking away still nothing not even a flinch “Y/N I don’t love you anymore” I say and nothing “Whoa! You really are knocked out” I sigh “Y/N I’m taking a cookie that was meant for dinner” I tell her preparing to die but… nothing “Right so you’re not faking it you did actually faint…right…what do I do” I sigh going to the book case looking for answers uhhh….hummm….. Ah basic duties that might have it Ah yes chapter 23 fainting…men… men… poisoning…are here women fainting… A woman fainting is normally caused by shock and surprise of something being seen or said often blood or such like that fragile women can’t handle, wouldn’t call her fragile, not after almost seven years of being married to her,  this can be liked to female hysteria this can be helped with Vigour’s Pelvic massage to relive her…
“So that’s why you fainted…you’re not actually shocked you just want me to do that to you” I laugh but still nothing “Alright, But if you wake up giggling I’m gonna know you faked it” I laugh sitting her differently and lifting her dress before going and locking the door so no one was going to barge in on us moving to the bottom of the table stroking her thighs leaving a few little hickey’s there before moving my hand to her little nerve centre pressing hard and circling my finger around her clit but still no movement so I switched to my thumb working on her harder and faster using my other fingers to play around with her even over her underwear I admit this is a little fun so I slipped off her underwear and worked on her directly onto her clit her legs moving around a little as I did adding my other hand into the mix using one to play around with her clit and finger fucking her and not even a few seconds later I knew she had cum but still nothing as I stopped everything “Really? Still ? okay… Y/N you are getting old” I say and she hit me in the nuts “FUCK!” I yell “Sorry darling” I groan
“It’s fine I know you don’t mean it” she giggled holding her tummy
“Ha I knew it” I laugh
“Knew what?” she asked sweetly
“I said if you woke up giggling then you where faking it” I laugh
“Thomas I have no clue what you’re talking about” she complains
“It’s fine, It was a shock I suppose” I sigh putting my book back on the shelf
“It was, not as bad as you leaving or taking cookies” she giggled
“YOU!” I laugh
“Okay I was” she giggled
“You dirty girl” I laugh
“That’s why you love me” she laughed hugging me tightly
“Well it’s not the only reason but… it keeps us both young I suppose” I laugh giving her a kiss “So you where awake, how long for?” I ask her
“I did faint but the salts woke me up” she giggled
“So you stayed pretending you had fainted for that long just so I would do that to you?” I ask
“Yes” she giggled
“You are a very naughty girl” I laugh
“So” she giggled
“Just cause it’s your birthday does not mean you can get away with whatever you like darling” I laugh
“But are you going to stop me?” she giggled
“No” I smirk
“good” she giggled “Could maybe as we have some time alone…could I have my present now?” she giggled
“well…alright, but be quiet” I smirk…
I took Y/N’s hand taking her back out to the party but the house was empty apart from Millie sat eating some chocolate “What happened?” I ask her
“I couldn’t reach wine” she explains
“Okay, off to bed little miss” I tell her undoing the back of her dress for her and she happily ran upstairs to bed so I packed away the garden and stood doing some washing up in the kitchen “Oh Y/N” I call
“yes Thomas?” she asks wrapping her arms around me
“Go sit on the table You need your other present’s” I tell her and she giggles rushing off to the table “and shut your eyes” I tell her and I could hear her giggle as I went to the pantry and got her cake sitting it on the table and sitting with her “You can look” I laugh and she opened her eyes and looked very happy
“Thank you Thomas” she giggles hugging me tightly
“Your welcome” I smiled giving her a nice slice and having some myself “I didn’t do too bad” I shrug
“Well it looks better then it tastes” she giggled “But you’re getting better” she smiled giving my cheek a kiss
“Thanks, You don’t have to be so nice to me darling, if the cake tastes like shit you can tell me” I laugh
“Yeah it is” she giggled
“Well at least you’re honest” I laugh
“But thank you for all my surprises” she giggled
“That’s not all of them darling” I tell her
“Oh?” she smiled
“Wait here” I tell her before going to the office and behind the bookshelf where I have been hiding it putting the little box n her hand as I sat back with her as she opened the little box
“awww Thomas, It’s beautiful” she smiled excitedly so I took it from her hands and put the necklace on for her it really was beautiful lines of silver and Pearls and a beautiful blue stone at the bottom sitting just above her cleavage in her dress “Thank you so much” she smiled cuddling me closely
“Your welcome Darling” I tell her giving her a sweet kiss “Y/N?” I ask her
“Yes Thomas?” she asks
“Do you after all these years…still love me as much as you did” I ask her
“Of course I do, whatever could make you think I didn’t” she smiled kissing me
“I don’t know, I mean we’ve been together almost seven years, time just flies I suppose” I smile
“It does, but I’m still happy with you as happy I was when we were newlyweds” she giggles resting her head on my shoulder
“Good, so am I” I tell her giving her a kiss
“”Thank you for all my lovely surprises” she giggled
“Your welcome darling” I tell her “come on time for bed” I smile so we shut up the house together as normal checking on Millie and she was fast asleep with her teddy bear and heading to bed ourselves I laid in bed as she got changed watching her every step as she snuggled not bed with me her head on my chest as we both relaxed I shut my eyes trying to fall asleep very tried after such a day “Thomas?” she asks sweetly
“Ummm” I groan In response
“Thank you for such a nice birthday” She smiled
“your welcome Y/N, maybe again next year hey? Did you like all your surprises?” I ask her
“Very much Thomas” she giggled
“good” I smile kissing her head getting ready to sleep
“I have a surprise for you though” she giggled
“Oh?” I smirk expecting her to do something as I’ve been so handsy with her today
“I’m pregnant again” she giggled and I shot my eyes open in shock replaying it in my mind making sure I heard her correctly
“You’re what?” I ask a bit unsure
“I’m pregnant again” she repeated “Two months” she giggled
“Oh Y/N, that’s amazing” I smile hugging her tightly sitting us both us kissing her millions and billions of times “I’m gonna be a daddy again” I smile almost crying I was so happy
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gaysparklepires · 7 years ago
Text
4. Nature
I was having a bad week.
I knew that essentially nothing had changed. Okay, so Victor had not given up, but had I ever dreamed for one moment that he had? His reappearance had only confirmed what I had already known. No reason for fresh panic.
In theory. Not panicking was easier said than done.
Graduation was only a few weeks away, the conflict of wanting to plan for college against knowing that I would probably have to go into hiding once I was out of Charlie’s house made me feel even more panicky. With my luck, the Volturi would come knocking the second I got my diploma, and Victor would be waiting for me in the audience. I felt like a walking target.
But no one would listen to me.
Carlisle had said, “There are seven of us, Beau. And with Alice on our side, I don’t think Victor’s going to catch us off guard. Try to spend as much time as you can with Charlie while you are able.”
Esme had said, “We’d never allow anything to happen to you, sweetheart. You know that. Please don’t be anxious.” And then she’d kissed my forehead.
Emmett had said, “I’m really glad Edward didn’t kill you, big guy. Everything’s so much more fun with you around.”
Royal had glared at him.
Alice had rolled her eyes and said, “I’m offended. You’re not honestly worried about this, are you?”
“If it’s no big deal, then why did Edward drag me to Florida?” I’d demanded.
“Haven’t you noticed yet, Beau, that Edward is just the teensiest bit prone to overreaction?”
Jasper had silently erased all the panic and tension in my body with his curious talent of controlling emotional atmospheres. I’d felt reassured, and let them talk me out of my desperate panic.
Of course, the calm had worn off as soon as Edward and I had walked out of the room.
So the consensus was that I was just supposed to forget that a deranged vampire was stalking me, intent on my death. Go about my business.
I did try. And surprisingly, there were other things almost as stressful to dwell on besides my status on the endangered species list…
Because Edward’s response had been the most frustrating of them all.
“You know I won’t let anything happen to you, Beau,” He’d said. “You have nothing to worry about.”
It was ridiculous for him to say, since he had been the one to force my hand to get me out of the state for the weekend. If there was nothing to worry about he wouldn’t have manipulated the situation or lied to me.
All in all, a very bad week. And today was the worst day in it.
It was always a bad day when Edward was away. Alice had foreseen nothing out of the  ordinary this weekend, and so I’d insisted that he take the opportunity to go hunting with his brothers. I knew how it bored him to hunt the easy, nearby prey.
“Go have fun,” I’d told him. “Bag a few mountain lions for me.”
I would never admit to him how hard it was for me when he was gone—how I felt exposed and unsafe. If he knew that, he would fret endlessly and would be afraid to ever leave me, even for the most necessary reasons. We had only just gotten to the point where he would leave me at all since he’d first returned from Italy. He would refuse to leave—out of guilt, mostly—until he couldn’t possibly stand it. His golden eyes had turned black and he’d suffered from his thirst more than it was already necessary that he suffer. So I had to be the responsible one and all but kicked him out the door whenever Emmett and Jasper wanted to go.
I think he could understand my reservations about him leaving, though. This morning there had been a note left on my pillow:
 I’ll be back so soon you won’t have time to miss me. Look after my heart—I’ve left it with you
 So now I had a big empty Saturday with nothing but my morning shift at Newton’s Olympic Outfitters to distract me. And, of course, the oh-so-comforting promise from Alice.
“I’m staying close to home to hunt. I’ll only be fifteen minutes away if you need me. I’ll keep an eye out for trouble.”
Translation: don’t try anything funny just because Edward is gone.
Alice was certainly just as capable of crippling my truck as Edward was.
Even though Alice’s presence was a comfort, I couldn’t help but be annoyed that I couldn’t go down to La Push and see Jacob.
I tried to look on the bright side. After work, I had plans to help Angela with her announcements, so that would be a distraction. And Charlie was in an excellent mood today—no doubt due to Edward’s absence—so I might as well enjoy that while it lasted. Alice would spend the night with me if I felt nervous enough to ask her to. And then tomorrow, Edward would be home. I would survive.
Not wanting to be ridiculously early for work, I ate my breakfast slowly, one Cheerio at a time. Then, after I’d washed the dishes, I arranged the magnets on the fridge into a perfect line. Maybe I was losing my mind a little.
The last two magnets—round black utilitarian pieces that were my favorites because they could hold ten sheets of paper to the fridge without breaking a sweat—did not want to cooperate with my fixation. Their polarities were reversed; every time I tried to line the last one up, the other jumped out of place.
For some reason—impending mania, perhaps—this really irritated me. Why couldn’t they just play nice? Stupid with stubbornness, I kept shoving them together as if I was expecting them to suddenly give up. I could have flipped one over, but that felt like losing. Finally, exasperated at myself more than the magnets, I pulled them from the fridge and held them together with two hands. It took a little effort—they were strong enough to put up a fight—but I forced them coexist side-by-side.
“See,” I said out loud—talking to inanimate objects, never a good sign—“That’s not so horrible, is it?”
I stood there like an idiot for a second, not quite able to admit that I wasn’t having any lasting effect against scientific principles. Then, with a sigh, I put the magnets back on the fridge, a foot apart.
“There’s no need to be so inflexible,” I muttered.
It was still too early, but I’d decided I’d better get out of the house before the inanimate objects started talking back.
When I got to Newton’s, Mike was methodically dry mopping the aisles while his mom arranged a new counter display. I caught them in the middle of an argument, unaware that I had arrived.
“But it’s the only time that Tyler can go,” Mike complained. “You said after graduation—“
“You’re just going to have to wait,” Mrs. Newton snapped. “You and Tyler can think of something else to do. You are not going to Seattle until the police stop whatever is going on there. I know Beth Crowley has told Tyler the same thing, so don’t act like I’m the bad guy—oh, good morning, Beau,” she said when she caught sight of me, brightening her tone quickly. “You’re early.”
Karen Newton was the last person I’d think to ask for help in an outdoor sports equipment store. Her perfectly highlighted blond hair was always smoothed into an elegant twist on the back of her neck, her fingernails were polished by professionals, as were her toenails—visible through the strappy high heels that didn’t resemble anything Newton’s offered on the long row of hiking boots.
“Light traffic,” I joked as I grabbed my hideous fluorescent orange vest out from under the counter. I was surprised that Mrs. Newton was as worked up about this Seattle thing as Charlie. I’d thought he was going to extremes.
“Well, er…” Mrs. Newton hesitated for a moment, playing uncomfortably with a stack of flyers she was arranging by the register.
I stopped with one arm in my vest. I knew that look.
When I’d let the Newton’s know that I wouldn’t be working here this summer—abandoning them in their busiest season, in effect—they’d started training Katie Marshall to take my place. They couldn’t really afford both of us on the payroll at the same time, so when it looked like a slow day…
“I was going to call,” Mrs. Newton continued. “I don’t think we’re expecting a ton of business today. Mike and I can probably handle things. I’m sorry you got up and drove out…”
On a normal day, I would be ecstatic with this turn of events. Today… not so much.
“Okay, no worries,” I said, trying to keep my voice light. What was I going to do now?
“That’s not fair, Mom,” Mike said. “If Beau wants to work—“
“No, it’s okay, Mrs. Newton. Really, Mike. I’ve got finals to study for and stuff…” I didn’t want to be a source of familial discord when they were already arguing.
“Thanks, Beau. Mike, you missed aisle four. Um, Beau, do you mind throwing these flyers in a dumpster on the way out? I told the girl who left them here that I’d put them on the counter, but I really don’t have the room.”
“Sure, no problem.” I put my vest away, and then tucked the flyers under my arm and headed out into the misty rain.
The dumpster was around the side of Newton’s, next to where we employees were supposed to park. I shuffled along, kicking pebbles petulantly on my way. I was about to fling the stack of bright yellow papers into the trash when the heading printed in bold across the top caught my eyes. One word in particular seized my attention.
I clutched the papers in both hands as I stared at the picture beneath the caption. A lump rose in my throat.
 SAVE THE OLYMPIC WOLF
 Under the words, there was a detailed drawing of a wolf in front of a fir tree, it’s head thrown back in the act of baying at the moon. It was a disconcerting picture; something about the wolf’s plaintive posture made him look forlorn. Like he was howling in grief.
And then I was running to my truck, the flyers still locked in my grip.
Fifteen minutes—that’s all I had. But it should be long enough. It was only fifteen minutes to La Push, and surely I would cross the boundary line a few minutes before I hit the town.
My truck roared to life without any difficulty.
Alice couldn’t have seen me doing this, because I hadn’t been planning it. A snap decision, that was the key! And as long as I moved fast enough, I should be able to capitalize on it.
I’d thrown the damp flyers in my haste and they were scattered in a bright mess across the passenger seat—a hundred bolded captions, a hundred dark howling wolves outlined against the yellow background.
I barreled down the wet highway, turning the windshield wipers on high and ignoring the groan of the ancient engine. Fifty-five was the most I could coax out of my truck, and I prayed it would be enough.
I had no clue where the boundary line was, but I began to feel safer as I passed the first houses outside La Push. This must be beyond where Alice was allowed to follow.
I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, I didn’t need to look at the screen to tell me who was calling. I would call Alice back when I got to Angela’s this afternoon, I reasoned, so that she’d know I was fine. I didn’t feel like getting Alice worked up now. She didn’t need to be mad at me—Edward would be angry enough for two when he got back.
My truck was positively wheezing by the time it grated to a stop in front of the familiar faded red house.  The lump came back to my throat as I stared at the little place that had once been my refuge. It had been so long since I’d been here.
Before I could cut the engine, Jacob was standing in the door, his face blank with shock.
In the sudden silence when the truck-roar died, I heard him gasp.
“Beau?”
“Hey, Jake!”
“Beau!” he yelled back, and the smile I’d been waiting for stretched across his face like the sun breaking free of the clouds. His teeth gleamed bright against his russet skin. “I can’t believe it!”
He ran to the truck and I practically flung myself out of the cab, and then we were both jumping up and down like kids.
“How did you get here?”
“I snuck out!”
“Awesome!”
“Hey, Beau!” Billy had rolled himself into the doorway to see what all the commotion was about.
“Hey, Bil--!”
Just then my air choked off—Jacob grabbed me up into a bear hug and swung me around in a circle.
“Wow, it’s good to see you here!”
“Easy, Jake! Can’t… breath,” I laughed.
He chuckled and put me down.
“Welcome back, Beau,” he said, grinning. And the way he said the words made it sound like welcome home.
We started walking, too keyed up to sit still in the house. Jacob was practically bouncing as he moved, and I had to remind him a few times that my legs weren’t ten feet long.
As we walked, I felt myself settling into another version of myself, the self I had been with Jacob. A little younger, a little less responsible. Someone who might, on occasion, do something really stupid for no good reason.
Our exuberance lasted through the first few topics of conversation: how we were doing, what we were up to, how long I had, and what had brought me here. When I hesitantly told him about the wolf flyer, his bellowing laugh echoed back from the trees.
But then, as we ambled past the back of the store and shoved through the thick scrub that ringed the far edge of First Beach, we got to the hard parts. All too soon we had to talk about the reason behind our long separation, and I watched as the face of my friend hardened into the bitter mask that was already too familiar.
“So what’s the story, anyway?” Jacob asked me, kicking a piece of driftwood out of his way with too much force. It sailed over the sand and then clattered against the rocks. “I mean, since the last time we… well, before, you know…” He struggled for the words. He took a deep breath and tried again. “What I’m asking is… everything is just back to the way it was before he left? You forgave him for all of that?”
I took a deep breath. “I didn’t just forgive him. Believe me, he’s been making up for it every day since he came back. I’m not giving out any free passes here.”
I wanted to skip past this part, the betrayals, the accusations, but I knew that we had to talk it through before we’d be able to move on to anything else.
Jacob’s face puckered up like he’d just licked a lemon. “I don’t think you should’ve even given him a chance.” He huffed. “I wish Sam had taken a picture when he found you that night last September. It would be exhibit A.”
“Nobody’s on trial.”
“Maybe somebody should be.”
“Not even you would blame him for leaving, if you knew the reason why.”
He glared at me a few seconds. “Okay,” he challenged. “Amaze me.”
His attitude was wearing on me; it hurt to have him upset with me. It reminded me of the bleak afternoon, long ago, when—under orders from Sam—he’d told me we couldn’t be friends. I took a second to compose myself.
“Edward left me last fall because he didn’t think I should be hanging out with vampires. He thought it would be better for me if he left.”
Jake did a double take. He had to scramble for a minute. Whatever he’d been planning to say, it clearly no longer applied. I was glad he didn’t know the catalyst behind Edward’s decision. I could only imagine what he’d think if he knew Jasper had tried to kill me.
“He came back, though, didn’t he?” Jacob muttered. “Too bad he can’t stick to a decision.”
“If you remember, I went and got him.”
Jacob stared at me for a moment, and then he backed off. His face relaxed, and his voice was calmer when he spoke.
“That’s true. So I never did get the story. What happened?”
I hesitated, biting my lip.
“Is it a secret?” He raised an eyebrow. “Are you not allowed to tell me?”
“No,” I replied. “It’s just a really long story.”
Jacob smiled, and held out his hand. I hesitated for only a second before I took his hand. He grinned wider and turned to lead me up the beach.
We immediately fell into our old rapport as we walked along. Jacob swung our arms playfully as we strolled and I couldn’t help but laugh. I was glad I wasn’t in a rush, after all, I was going to have to face Alice when I got home… and I was in no hurry to experience that.
Jacob led us to a huge, familiar piece of driftwood—an entire tree, roots and all, bleached white and beached deep in the sand; it was our tree, in a way.
Jacob sat down on the natural bench, and patted the space next to him.
“I don’t mind long stories. Is there any action?”
I laughed as I sat next to him. “There’s some action,” I allowed.
“It wouldn’t be real horror without any action.”
“Horror!” I scoffed. “You don’t know the half of it. Now, will you listen, or will you be interrupting me with rude comments about my friends?”
He pretended to lock his lips and then threw the invisible key over his shoulder. I tried not to smile, and failed.
“I’ll have to start with the stuff you were already there for,” I decided, working to organize the stories in my head before I began.
Jacob raised his hand.
“Go ahead.”
“That’s good,” he said. “I didn’t understand much that was going on at the time.”
“Yeah, well, it gets complicated, so pay attention. You know how Alice sees things?”
I took his slight scowl—the wolves weren’t thrilled that the legends of vampires possessing supernatural gifts were true—for a yes, and proceeded with the account of my race through Italy to rescue Edward.
I kept it as succinct as possible—leaving out anything that wasn’t essential. I tried to read Jacob’s reactions, but his face was enigmatic as I explained how Alice had seen Edward plan to kill himself when he’d heard that I was dead. Sometimes Jacob seemed so deep in though, I wasn’t sure if he was listening. He only interrupted me one time.
“The fortune-telling bloodsucker can’t see us?” he echoed, his face both fierce and gleeful. “Seriously? That’s excellent!”
I pursed my lips and raised my eyebrow, and we sat in silence, his face expectant as he waited for me to continue. I glared at him until he realized his mistake.
“Oops!” he said. “Sorry.” He locked his lips again.
His response was easier to read when I got to the part about the Volturi. His teeth clenched together, goose bumps rose on his arms, and his nostrils flared. I didn’t go into specifics, I just told him that Edward had talked us out of trouble, without revealing the promise we’d been forced to make, or the visit we were anticipating. Jacob didn’t need to have my nightmares.
“Now you know the whole story,” I concluded. “So it’s your turn to talk. What happened while I was with my mom this weekend?” I knew Jacob would give more details than Edward had. He wasn’t afraid of scaring me.
Jacob leaned forward, instantly animated. “So Embry and Quil and I were running patrol on Saturday night, just routine stuff, when out of nowhere—bam!” He threw his arms out, impersonating an explosion. “There it is—a fresh trail, not fifteen minutes old. Sam wanted us to wait for him, but I didn’t know you were gone, and I didn’t know if your bloodsuckers were keeping an eye on you or not. So we took off after the redhead at full speed, but he’d crossed the treaty line before we caught up. We spread out along the line, hoping he’d cross back over. It was frustrating, let me tell you.” He wagged his head and his hair—growing out from the short crop he’d adopted when he’d joined the pack—flopped into his eyes. “We ended up too far south. The Cullens chased him back to our side just a few miles north of us. Would have been the perfect ambush if we’d have known where to wait.”
He shook his head, grimacing now. “That’s when it got dicey. Sam and the others caught up to him before we did, but he was dancing right along the line, and the whole coven was right there on the other side. The big one, what’s-his-name—“
“Emmett.”
“Yeah, him. He made a lunge for him, but that redhead is fast! Emmett flew right behind him and almost rammed into Paul. So, Paul… well, you know Paul.”
“Yeah.”
“Lost his focus. Can’t say that I blame him—the big guy was right on top of him. Paul sprang—hey, don’t give me that look. The vampire was on our land.”
I tried to compose my face so that he would go on. My nails were digging into my palms with the stress of the story, even though I knew it had turned out fine.
“Anyway, Paul missed, and the big one got back on his side. But by then the, er, well the, uh, blond…” Jacob’s expression was a comical mix of disdain and unwilling admiration as he tried to come up with a word to describe Edward’s brother.
“Royal.”
“Him. Well, he got real territorial, so Sam and I fell back to get Paul’s flanks. Then their leader and the other blond mail—“
“Carlisle and Jasper.”
He gave me an exasperated look. “You know I don’t really care. Anyway, so Carlisle spoke to Sam, trying to calm things down. Then it was weird, because everyone got really calm really fast. It was that other one you told me about, messing with our heads. But even though we knew what he was doing, we couldn’t not be calm.”
“Yeah, I know how it feels.”
“Really annoying, that’s how it feels. Only you can’t be annoyed until afterwards.” He shook his head annoyed. “So Sam and the head vamp agreed that Victor was the priority, and we started after him again. Carlisle gave us the line, so that we could follow the scent properly, but then he hit the cliffs just north of Makah country, right where the line hugs the coast for a few miles. He took off into the water again. The big one and the calm one wanted permission to cross the line to go after him, but of course we said no.”
“Good. I mean, you were being stupid, but I’m glad. Emmett’s never cautious enough. He could have gotten hurt.”
Jacob snorted. “So did your vampire tell you we attacked for no reason and his totally innocent coven—“
“No,” I interrupted. “Edward told me the same story, just without quite as many details.”
“Huh,” Jacob said under his breath, and he bent over to pick up a rock from among the millions of pebbles at our feet. With a casual flick, he sent it flying a good hundred meters out into the bay. “Well, the redhead’ll be back, I guess. We’ll get another shot at him.”
I shuddered; of course he would be back. Would Edward really tell me next time? I wasn’t sure. I’d have to keep an eye on Alice, to look for the signs that the pattern was about to repeat…
Jacob didn’t seem to notice my reaction. He was staring across the waves with a thoughtful expression on his face, his broad lips pursed.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked after a long, quiet time.
“I’m thinking about what you told me. About when the fortune-teller saw you cliff jumping and thought you’d committed suicide, and how it all got out of control… Do you realize that if you had just waited for me like you were supposed to, then the bl—Alice wouldn’t have been able to see you jump? Nothing would have changed. We’d probably be in my garage right now, like any other Saturday. There wouldn’t be any vampires in Forks, and you and me…” he trailed off, deep in thought.
My heart thumped at the picture he painted. It probably would have been that way, so easy, so simple. Like breathing.
“Edward would have come back anyway.” I finally said.
“Are you sure about that?” He asked, his tone slightly belligerent.
“Being apart didn’t work out so well for him.”
He started to say something, something angry from his expression, but he stopped himself, took a breath, and began again.
“Did you know Sam is mad at you?”
“Me?” It took me a second. “Oh. I see. He thinks they would have stayed away if I wasn’t here.”
“No. That’s not it.”
“What is it then?”
Jacob leaned down to scoop up another rock. He turned it over and over in his fingers; his eyes were riveted on the black stone while he spoke in a low voice.
“When Sam saw… how you were at the beginning, when Billy told them how Charlie worried about you, and then when you started jumping off cliffs…”
I made a face. No one was ever going to let me forget that.
Jacob’s eyes flashed up to mine. “He thought you were the one person in the world with as much reason to hate the Cullens as he does. Sam feels sort of… betrayed that you would just let them back into your life like they never hurt you.”
I didn’t believe for a second that Sam was the only one who felt that way. And the anger in my voice now was for both of them.
“I didn’t just let them right back into my life, give me some credit. So you can tell Sam—“
“Look at that,” Jacob interrupted me, pointing to an eagle in the act of plummeting down toward the ocean from an incredible height. It checked itself at the last minute, only its talons breaking the surface of the waves, just for an instant. Then it flapped away, its wings straining against the load of the huge fish it had snagged.
“You see it everywhere,” Jacob said, his voice suddenly distant. “Nature taking its course—hunter and prey, the endless cycle of life and death.”
I didn’t understand the point of the nature lecture; I guessed that he was just trying to change the subject. But then he looked down at me with dark humor in his eyes.
“And yet, you don’t see the fish trying to plant a kiss on the eagle. You never see that.” He grinned a mocking grin.
I grinned back tightly, though the anger was rising. “Maybe the fish was trying,” I suggested. “It’s hard to tell what a fish is thinking. Eagles are good-looking birds, you know.”
“Is that what it comes down to?” His voice was abruptly sharper. “Good looks?”
“Don’t be stupid, Jacob.”
“Is it the money, then?” he persisted.
“That’s nice,” I muttered, getting up from the tree. “I’m flattered that you think so much of me.” I turned my back on him and paced away.
“Aw, don’t get mad.” He was right behind me; he gently caught my wrist and spun me around. “I’m serious! I’m trying to understand here, and I’m coming up blank.”
His eyebrows pushed together in frustration, and his eyes were black in their deep shadow.
“I just… I love him. Not because he’s beautiful or because he’s rich!” I spat the words at Jacob. “I’d much rather he weren’t either one. It would even out the gap between us just a little bit—because he’d still be the most loving and unselfish and brilliant and decent person I’ve ever met. Of course I love him. How hard is that to understand?”
“It’s impossible to understand.”
“Please, enlighten me, then, Jacob.” I let the sarcasm flow thick. “What is a valid reason for someone to love someone else? Since apparently I’m doing it wrong.”
“I think the best place to start would be to look within your own species. That usually works.”
“Well, that just sucks!” I snapped. “I guess I’m stuck with Mike Newton after all.”
Jacob flinched back and bit his lip. I could see that my words had hurt him, but I was too mad and hurt to feel bad about that yet. He dropped my wrist and folded his arms across his chest, turning from me to glare toward the ocean.
“I’m human,” he muttered, his voice almost inaudible.
“You’re not as human as Mike,” I continued, still hurt. “Do you still think that’s the most important consideration?”
“It’s not the same thing.” Jacob didn’t look away from the gray waves. “I didn’t choose this.”
I laughed once in disbelief. “Do you think Edward did? He didn’t know what was happening to him any more than you did. He didn’t exactly sign up for this.”
Jacob was shaking his back and forth with a small, quick movement.
“But Jacob, how can you judge them? Being a werewolf and all.” I huffed.
“It’s not the same,” Jacob repeated, glowering at me.
“I don’t see why not. You could be a bit more understanding about the Cullens. You have no idea how truly good they are—to the core, Jacob.”
He frowned more deeply. “They shouldn’t exist. Their existence goes against nature.”
I stared at him for a long moment with one eyebrow raised incredulously. It was a while before he noticed.
“What?”
“Speaking of unnatural…,” I hinted.
“Beau,” he said, his voice slow and different. Aged. I realized that he sounded suddenly older than me—like a parent or a teacher. “What I am was born in me. It’s part of who I am, who my family is, who we all are as a tribe—it’s the reason why we’re still here.
“Besides that”—he looked down at me, his black eyes unreadable—“I am still human.”
He picked up my hand and pressed it to his fever-warm chest. Through his t-shirt, I could feel the steady beating of his heart under my palm.
“Normal humans can’t throw motorcycles around the way you can.”
He smiled a faint, half-smile. “Normal humans run away from monsters, Beau. And I never claimed to be normal. Just human.”
Staying angry with Jacob was too much work. I started to smile as I gently rubbed his chest.
“You look plenty human to me,” I allowed. “At the moment.”
“I feel human.” He stared past me, his face far away. His lower lip trembled, and he bit down on it hard.
“Oh, Jake,” I whispered, reaching for his hand.
This was why I was here. This was why I could take whatever reception waited for me when I got back. Because, underneath all the anger and the sarcasm, Jacob was in pain. Right now, it was very clear in his eyes. I didn’t know how to help him, but I knew I had to try. It was more than that I owed him. It was because his pain hurt me, too. Jacob had become a part of me, and there was no changing that now.
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samanthasroberts · 6 years ago
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20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything
We know them, we love (most of) them: the impossible-to-buy-for people in your life. Whether its the husband who has everything, or the BFF who just doesnt want a lot of clutter around, they can make gift buying feel like a search for the holy grail.
That’s why we scoured Amazon to find fifteen of the most amazingproducts notebooks that erase themselves in the microwave, to magical pens that let you draw in three dimensions that are sure to surprise, and probably please, those hard-to-buy-for friends.
We hope you love at least one of these odd and awesome products. Just an FYI: 22Words may get a share of any sale through links on this page.
1
These Glasses That Aerate Wine On Contact So You Can Drink ASAP
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via: Amazon
Wine lovers and design aficionados alike are singing the praises of these innovative wine glasses throughout their Amazon reviews. The built-in aerator lets you ditch the decanter and oxygenate your wine on contact so you can dig right into the delicious red nectar. Theyre not inexpensive, but for the type of people fancy enough to aerate their wine in the first place, its surely a paltry sum.
Snappy Amazon Review: Worth every penny. -Kimberly
2
This Beautiful Piece of Jewelry That’s A Fitness Tracker In Disguise
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via: Amazon
FitBits are nice and all, but some days you dont want a big rubber band around your wrist screaming Im health conscious! to everyone you pass. Thats what makes the BellaBeat Leaf Nature Health Trackersuch a refreshing innovation. Beautiful and versatile, the BellaBeat can be worn as a necklace or bracelet, and tracks your daily steps, distance traveled and calories burned.
Snappy Amazon Review: The most low maintenance fitness tracker ever made and it’s gorgeous. -Elida Omerkic
3
This Tiny Gadget That Makes Your Car Smell Great
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via: Amazon
Ditch the Febreze and get your FRiEQ on with the FRiEQ Car Air Purifier. The FRiEQ pumps three million negative ions per cubic centimeter into the air, which destroy odor causing particulates on contact, including mold, bacteria and viruses. Best of all, its powered by your cars 12V plug, so youll never run out of fresh air energy.
Snappy Amazon Review: My car certainly smells better. –Sammidee
4
These Tiny Bags of Charcoal That Drink In Odor
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via: Amazon
Rescue your favorite footwear from inevitable shoe-smell with these all-natural, activated charcoal Footwear Deodorizers. And theyre not just for shoes the activated charcoal actively absorbs moisture in any situation, preventing pervasive odors and bacterial growth, so you can easily deodorize stinky refrigerators, closets and basements. They make no claims about stinky husbands, children, or coworkers however.
Snappy Amazon Review: Product works as Described, sucks all smell from shoes. -Kalpesh
…AND GETS ALL UP IN YOUR FACEBOOK
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5
This Miracle Broom That Cleans Floors, Walls, Windows and More
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via: Amazon
Perfect for your neat-freak friends, the Evriholder FURemover Broom’swide head of 100% natural rubber bristles to grab and trap dirt, dust, lint and pet hair with ease its even got a telescoping handle for reaching the cobwebbiest of corners. Right now its one of the most popular brooms on Amazon, and with well over 2,000 positive reviews, its not hard to see why.
Snappy Amazon Review: This thing just plain works. -Nick V.
6
This Portable Charcoal Grill That Somehow Runs on Batteries
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via: Amazon
If youre not into grilling, you may not be as impressed as I am by the truly innovative Gourmia Grill. It combines the inimitable flavor of a charcoal grill with the ease of non-stick surfaces and battery-powered portability. Perfect for grilling on the patio and small enough to pack for the next tailgate, the Gourmia Grills turbo fan provides precise air control to perfectly grill dogs, burgers, steaks and more, while conserving your charcoal consumption. And that just makes sense. Dollars, and cents.
Snappy Amazon Review: Gave as gift got a hamburger and hot dog in return. -Amazon Customer
7
This Indoor Garden That Grows Herbs Even I Can’t Kill
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via: Amazon
I have a few talents in life. Horticulture is not one of them. Hence my immediate attraction to the Click & Grow Indoor Smart Herb Garden. The manufacturer boasts that growing herbs is as easy as inserting the plant capsules, filling the water tank (possible sticking point), and plugging the unit in. After that, let the automatic hydration system, low-energy LED grow light and the miracle of Mother Nature work their collective magic, and watch as the herbs of your choice spring to life. Delicious, fragrant life.
Snappy Amazon Review: I would have given 5 stars if it had come with something other than just basil. That’s the only thing I’d change. -Meghan
8
This Ring Of Power That Renders Your Smartphone Undroppable
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via: Amazon
Since I got one, theiRinghas saved my iPhone from countless potentially devastating smartphone injuries. The iRing attaches via ultra-strong adhesive to the back of your smartphone, giving you a solid, swiveling ring through which to thread a finger of your choice, or with which to prop up your phone for some bedside Netflixin. Oh, and dont forget the included plastic hook, onto which the iRing settles nicely for use in the car.
Snappy Amazon Review: I’m a klutz so I drop stuff all the time, and this really helps. -Lunatique
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9
This Waffle Iron That’s Shaped Like a Keyboard
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via: Amazon
I dont think an explanation is needed here. It’s a Keyboard Waffle Iron. Pass the syrup.
Snappy Amazon Review: Yesterday I did nothing because my keyboard was a waffle the whole time. -Leedlej
10
This Bottle Opener That Also Holds Your Child’s Fine Art
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via: Amazon
There are few things more irritating than trying to track down a bottle opener when youre hankering for a cold one. Thats why no one will complain when you gift them this impossible-to-lose Master Magnetics Bottle Opener. Strong magnets keep it adhered to the beer cooler (aka, refrigerator), where it can amass an ever-growing collection of child artwork, or a collection of bottle caps so large it might force you to reevaluate your life choices.
Snappy Amazon Review: The magnets are really strong. -Edward
11
These Magical Drops That Change The Way You Taste Food
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via: Amazon
MBerry Drops contain extracts from the so-called miracle fruit a mysterious berry that causes some pretty serious shifts in your taste perception. Dissolve one of these ten tablets on your tongue, and everything changes. Lemons taste like lemonade. Vinegar tastes like apple juice. Cheese tastes like frosting. You suddenly achieve the body of your dreams. Okay, were lying about that last part, but we swear these drops are the real, and somewhat freaky, deal.
Snappy Amazon Review: Yes they work. -Heart Dad
12
This Notebook That Erases Itself In The Microwave
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via: Amazon
While the surveillance utility of microwave ovens has been debunked, the ability of microwaves to completely clear the Rocketbook Wave Smart Notebook of your top-secret doodles or late-night confessions is fully bunked. Seriously, this notebook erases itself in the microwave. And it even comes with a Rocketbook app which scans your work in hi-def before obliteration.
Snappy Amazon Review: I love this notebook. -ecaminos
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13
This All Natural Deodorant That’s Worth Buying For The Name Alone
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via: Amazon
Say it three times fast: Primal Pit Paste Deodorant. PPPD is an all-natural solution to body odor, featuring a 100% aluminum-free mixture of shea butter, arrowroot powder and baking soda for an odor fighting and soothing solution. But lets be honest, youre just buying this to give your friend something called Primal Pit Paste.
Snappy Amazon Review: 4 months later I am still using nothing but Primal Pit Paste! -Jen
14
This Pen That Lets You Sculpt Your Own New Reality Where You Made Better Choices
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via: Amazon
For those of us that struggle to draw even the simplest of 3d figures, the 3Doodler Create 3D Pen is a mind-blowing game changer, allowing even the most challenged of artists to realize their visions in 3D plastic reality. Like normal 3D printers, the 3Doodler extrudes melted plastic, which dries almost instantly as you bring your vision to life whether that be a scale model of the Eiffel Tower, or a drooping mess of an attempt at a human head. Theres certainly a learning curve with the 3Doodler, but the potential for awesomeness cant be denied.
Snappy Amazon Review: My son loves this! -Dawn
15
These Platypi That Infuse Your Tea With Too Much Adorability
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via: Amazon
To be fair, theres a veritable menagerie of adorable animal-shaped tea infusers on Amazon. Seriously. Manatees, sloths, baby dinosaurs. But when it comes to a combination of cute and unique, nothing rivals a platypus. Especially platypus tea infusers. Especially when theyre called Mr. & Mrs. PlaTEApus. Come on. Just take my money already. These silicone platypi prop themselves on the edge of your tea cup and slowly infuse your favorite loose-leaf tea through tiny holes in their adorable bellies. And they come in their own gift box. I cant take it.
Snappy Amazon Review: So cute! Easy to fill and clean. So adorable! -Amazon Customer
16
This Small Plastic Stone That Fills The Room With Aromatic Humidity
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This small but mighty Deneve Essential Oil Diffuser and Humidifier can fill a space of up to 250 square feet with delightfully scented mist, while also putting on an ever-changing light show. Its the easy way to throw the most soothing of at-home raves.
Snappy Amazon Review: It is great. It is important to wipe it out between uses. -Torsten
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17
This Showerhead and Speaker That Will Change The Way You Bathe
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Your bathroom karaoke game just got way more serious. Kohlers MoxieShowerhead and Wireless Speaker combines a sixty-nozzle shower head with a removable, rechargeable bluetooth speaker, allowing you to stream all of your top tunes while you steam your way to relaxation. And when the speakers lithium ion battery runs low, just pop it from its magnetic hold in the shower head and plug it into the included USB cable for a quick charge. You’ll be up and showering-singing again in no time.
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18
The Toilet Stool That’ll Change The Way You…Go
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Okay, so since it exploded on Shark Tank, the Squatty Potty hasnt exactly been an unknown quantity. But that doesnt make it any less bizarre (or useful!) of a gift. The manufacturer recommends that beginning squatters start with the 7-inch Squatty, though those limber of leg and/or well-practiced in the art of squatting can venture up to the 9-inch SP. With sales in the millions and celebrities like Howard Stern touting the effectiveness of the simple bathroom stool, its safe to say the Squatty Potty isnt a passing phase its a movement.
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19
The Clear Film That Turns Any Surface Into a Dry Erase Board
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Synergy. Leverage. Ideation. These corporate buzzwords arent just limited to conference rooms anymore. With the Think Premium Board Medium, you can have the power of the white board anywhere you please! But seriously, this 2-foot by 3-foot clear sheet adheres to almost any surface, so you can doodle, plan, outline and scheme to your hearts dry-erase delight.
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20
These Magical Tooth Wipes That Hide The Fact That You’ve Been Day Drinking
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No longer must you choose between red wine and a white smile. These Wine Wipes pack just enough hydrogen peroxide to wipe stains away from your pearly whites, without interfering with the delicious flavor.
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creekycoffee · 7 years ago
Text
Story in progress
Eddie was in the back seat of his mother’s car. His sister Isabelle was right there next to him. She look bored, and had her headphones in looking out the window at the passing cars. He was doing something similar. Every now and then he looked out the window. The pitter patter of rain against glass caused him to tense and grip the railing of Izzy’s cage that rested on his lap.
The bearded lizard looked up at Eddie and licked its lips. Eddie like to think that she liked him. He always did relate to animals more than people. The Voice of his mother was blurry like a sheet of fog that had invaded his head. He felt dizzy and nauseous.
Eddie would often space out like this, but today was different. Today there had been a reason. Their small car was packed with boxes, suitcases, and all their belongings. Their whole lives were in that car.
Today they would start a new period in a new town. Eddie hated it. He tried his best to keep the tears from falling down his cheeks. If Isabelle saw she would call him a baby again. He missed his best friend. He missed Toronto where he could go and do anything, and there was always something to do. He missed his dad.
Eddie didn’t know anyone in this new place. What was the name of this town? Eddie thought to himself then he remembered. “ Riverdale” that’s what it was called. It had a population of 1200. Not 12000 but 1200.
“Edd, Eddy. Don’t look so glum. Mrs. Perkins said. I know you don’t want to be here. But this is a fresh start for us. A new place”.
“ I hate it”. Isabel said.
“ young lady language. And Eddie please don’t make this harder than it needs to be”.
Eddie bit his lip and tried to hold back the tears.
Mrs. Perkins followed close behind the movers truck. Well because she had to make sure they didn’t steal anything or broke anything. When they finally arrived at their new home, and everything was loaded into the house it was 9:30 p.m. Eddie’s mother shouted the entire three hours at the Young 20 year olds on exactly where she wanted everything placed. So on the account it was late Eddie’s mother didn’t have time to cook. So the three of them headed into town to grab something to eat.
They didn’t have to wait long the drive only took 5 minutes at the max. Riverdale was small. Mrs. Perkins parked her car in the parking lot of the local mall. It was at the very most 10 p.m. so it was closed on the account it was a small town in everything closed early and it was also Sunday.
But there was a small Diner across the street. It reminded any of his favorite painting Nighthawks by Edward Hopper.
Eddie and his sister saw it one summer when they visited the art gallery of Chicago. Their father took them but he was always busy and never spent a lot have time with him or Isabelle. But that summer his dad Caldo de of the blue, and said “Hey Eds why don’t you and your sister come spend some time with me over the weekend”. That’s what his old man called him Ed’s. And it was something that carried over to his mother.
It was the most time he spent with him in his entire life. They went to a baseball game. Isabel didn’t seem to like that part very much, but she did like the hot dogs. And afterwards they went to the art gallery.
As they we’re walking on the sidewalk up to the diner Eddie spotted engaged into the window display of a nearby shop. His blue eyes grew wide. The display reminded him of his dad. The red bike. It was glossy and perfect. Just like the bike his dad gave him, and taught him how to ride. But unfortunately it got stolen just before they moved.
“Hey mom”… but before the words could fully leave Eddie’s mouth the answer was clear.
Mrs. Perkins stood there on the sidewalk Crossing her arms. She looked at her son with his long blonde hair and tattered Army pattern jacket. And then she said. “ Eddie we’re not made of money. Your father didn’t exactly leave us well off now did he”.
“ Yes ma'am” Eddie said looking down at his feet and pulling the sleeve of his jacket.
Mrs. Perkins  sighed. “Eddie if you want something why don’t you get a job. Nobody’s going to give you a hand out in this world. After all it’s still fall break you have another month before school starts. Honestly I wish you would let me cut your hair you look like a delinquent”.
Eddie was laying on his bed looking at the ceiling and he was bored. As much as he disagreed with his mother she was right. Nothing was free. But it also wasn’t his dad’s fault. The more he thought about it the more he came to realize he didn’t know the first thing about his father. He wanted to know. But then the voices he started hearing the voices, and all the doctor’s appointments, therapy, and pills. Pills and list pills. Of course who wouldn’t want to leave. He was angry he felt like screaming.  the whole world was messed up  and nobody could understand him.  everyone just thought he was violent but
He wasn’t and his head hurt. Eddie decided he wasn’t going to spend all his time inside. That’s what he did all summer break and the brake before that and the brake before that. Maybe he could get that job. But he didn’t know anybody, or Riverdale for a matter of fact. He would change that though. No more feeling sorry for himself he jumped out of bed and grabbed his coat. His stomach rumbled but as usual his mother wasn’t home, and he didn’t want to bother his sister who was upstairs. He could hear the music coming from her room.
He opened the fridge nothing good he thought to himself. An empty carton of milk some eggs in 3 slices of stale bread there was some ham and cheese too. Eddie quickly made himself a ham and cheese. Not wanting to announce to anyone he was leaving not that anyone would notice no one ever noticed him.
The house where Eddie lived was three stories tall. It was Gray with Victorian moulding. Hard wooden floors, hexagon shaped windows, and 6 balconies. The house was over a hundred years old from the late 18th century it was divided into four different floors. Each one rented to a different tenant. Eddie and his mother along with Isabel lived on the third floor.
The little bell on the front door chimes when he exited. Did he forget anything? Coat, Keys, backpack, sandwiches. It looked like it was all there. Looking back from the far end of the street the house brought chills down his spine. No one would ever know anyone was living there it looked abandoned and in fact the whole neighborhood did.
“ Eddie. Eddie”. He heard his name being called, but no one was there.
“ Not again”. Eddie muttered under his breath. They wouldn’t leave him alone. He kept walking but two blocks later again. “Eddie, Eddie”. It was coming from the direction of a house down the street. The host was calling him the voice with sweet like a woman’s. Different from the ones he normally heard different from his mother’s different from his sisters. They were different from the ones he heard in his head the ones that told him he was useless and the ones that told him to hurt himself.
All his instincts told Eddie not to go but his feet just moved it was like he lost his free will. The house on Wilson Street is where he found himself. He crossed the gate it was rusted and it creaked when he open the latch. Eddie stood on the front steps so close to whatever was drawing him. He reached for the handle so close he could almost feel the brass.
With a Smash he fell back and landed on his ass.
“What the hell are you doing kid” he heard. They’re standing above Eddie was a boy no older than him. He was shorter but that wasn’t a surprise. Although Eddie was only 14 no one came close to his height.
“What the hell who jumps out like that, and what’s with the stupid mask”?
Indeed whoever he was had a mask on and not just any mask it was a mask of a white wolf. It reminded Eddie of Okami.
Then he said “oh you know scaring kids not much else to do in Riverdale”.
“You’re psychotic”. Eddie said as he got up and brush the dirt from his torn jeans.
“Wait seriously you shouldn’t go in there. The guy in The Mask said. That house has been abandoned for years people go missing in this town”.
Eddie had walked past him as his arm was reaching for the door like before. “ you believe in that stuff he said”?
“ Not really he said,  it’s just it’s common sense you know.”
Eddie looked. “ yeah I guess you’re right. This isn’t a horror movie. It’d be pretty stupid if I just walked in there. Say what’s your name?”
The boy stood up for a moment then he pulled the mask over his head. Eli my name’s Eli".
I know that Eddie got a closer look at him. Eli was shorter than he thought. With an olive complexion and short black hair and green eyes.
“ I’m new in town me and my mom and sister just moved here yesterday”.
“ sister huh she hot? Chill I was just kidding what was your…”
“ Eddie the name’s Eddie”.
“ Eddie that has a nice ring to it you know you can tell a lot about someone just by their name. Where exactly do you live Eddie”?
“The the house on 22nd Street”
“ wow that old piece of junk the four Story one. Interesting. Interesting”
“What’s interesting about it?”
You know you got some interesting characters who live there. Don’t worry you’ll meet them you’re new in town. My dad works there. He’s the janitor".
Eddie was sitting down at the dining room table for dinner. He didn’t have much of an appetite but he did his best to eat his lamb and brussel sprouts. He hated brussel sprouts and he had a creeping suspicion that his mother gave them to him on purpose to screw with him. Isabel was there sitting across from him and again listening to her music.
“ Eddie how was your day”? mrs. Perkins asked.
“My day well uh”…
“ that’s right son of mine did you do anything”?
“I guess you could say I made a friend”.
“ see what did I tell you a fresh start. Everything will be better you’ll see. She said picking up the empty plates and taking them to the sink. By the way I pulled some strings and if you still interested in that bike”.
Eddie was anxious he had never been very independent. For the most part he relied on Isabel she would help him with his homework, she would help him order food, she would help him with anything that involved human interaction. So it was no surprise that Eddie was panicking. A job he’d never had a job before.
He pulled out the sleep of his shirt and bit his nails. Both bad habits so that were clear signs that Eddie was stressed. He paced back and forth. Any minute now his mother would come home and introduce him to his future employer.
“ Hey Isabel” he said barging into his sister’s room.  And immediately she got up from where she was sitting in the corner of her room, on her bed.
“Ed what is it now”?
Eddie was in full panic mode. His breathing was irregular. Up and down in and out his chest rised as he struggled to get the words out.
“ You want to do the thing Ed”? Isabel said.
Eddie nodded.
She got up off her bed and laid down on the floor. The carpet was shagging green. It had been there since the late 70s.
“ No cheating” Eddie said.
Eddie got down on the floor and kicked his legs up into the air. Isabel smiled and did the same. They played this little game ever since Eddie was 4 and Isabel was 6.
Their feet touched, Eddie’s bright green socks clashing with his sister’s equally as bright neon pink socks. The game was a tug of war Eddie trying to push Isabelle back, Isabel trying to do the same. The loser would be whoever said Uncle first or whoever knocked the other against the wall. It was a heated match, but then Eddie shouted “ ouch” cheater". It was no use his sister had always been stronger. and today was no exception she had pushed him back and in the process already had smashed his head against the back of his sister’s desk.
“Feel better Ed”?
“ Yeah thanks Izzy”.
“I wish you hadn’t named your lizard after me”.
Eddie simply smiled.
“You have that job thing today right”?
“ Yeah just waiting for Mom to come home”.
“Don’t worry about it it’s all in your head. A job isn’t so bad. It’s like school just the same boring routine once you get used to it you won’t even notice. You taking your pills”?
Eddie nodded. “ Yeah but there’s so God damn many of them”. He took out the transparent orange container which housed the pills. “One , two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight… wait to you see this ninth one”? Eddie said.
“ 9th. His sister looked at his brother’s hand and saw the blue, white and orange capsules. Nope only eight Ed. You must be seeing things again”.
There were only eight pills. But Eddie only Eddie could see the invisible 9th pill. He could see a lot of things no one else could see. Like the Shadows that shifted in and out in the corners of his vision just barely out of reach. They followed him for as long as he could remember. He could see strange things that no one else could perceive. When a dog barks and nothing’s there to an ordinary person it’s nothing, but animals have a sixth sense.They sense danger  and some say they can see what’s beyond in the Supernatural Realm perhaps they see what’s beyond death.
Eddie could certainly see something but what he saw weren’t ghosts or the Grim Reaper the common things associated with death. What Eddie saw he always saw eyes. The pills helps and he hadn’t seen them for over a year now but now he remembered when he was at the abandoned house on Nelson Street Wilson Street. Elie was there and he saw a pair of eyes looming in the shadow they had purple irises Did they belonged to that voice that lured him to that place?
Eddie. It called him. The eyes that led to despair that reveal what’s not there. The Crimson eyes see what’s not there. He couldn’t remember where he heard that from but he had always heard it. maybe it was something one of the many voices said to him.
“Ed you’re spacing out again”. Isabel snapped her fingers. And then he heard the door downstairs turn. It was Talia.
“It’s mom”. Eddie said in Rush downstairs.
It was indeed Eddie’s mother. Talia was Dripping head to toe in rain she hung her trench coat on the hook near the front door and after shaking off the excess water from her umbrella she tucked it into the umbrella stand right beside where the guests put their shoes.
And speaking of guests Talia wasn’t alone. A man in his mid-30s accompanied her He Wore a Yellow Slicker that was drenched in rain. He had red curly hair and a thick beard in Eddie’s mind the man look like how he’d imagined a fisherman to look. He was like the man on the box of fish sticks his mother would sometimes buy.
“Eddie, Eddie don’t just stand there gawking come down here and meet Mark”.
“ Hello son. The man said. He had a kind voice. So you want a job” he said.
“Yes sir. I’m willing to work hard whatever it takes”. Eddie said.
Mark Daniels worked at Cedar Manor he was the caretaker. He looked after the garden, fixed what needed fixing. When the lights went out or there was something like a busted smoke alarm that wouldn’t shut up he was the man the folks at Cedar Manor Estate would call.
In the summer time the garden was full of red blooming roses. The garden was the one thing that kept mark sane. He was happy to help anyone who’d ask. These days anything he could do to preoccupy his time was a blessing. It seemed everything that could go wrong this year had gone wrong. His wife had run out on him she often said he was too busy with work. His father refused to talk to him in fact he refused anything from Mark. His dad had left the reservation and was living here at the Manor. So now it was just him and Elie. And it seemed he didn’t even know what his own son was thinking. Did Elie hate him? Did he blame him for his own mother running out on him. Elie never lashed out like Mark would have done at his age. He only kept quiet and bottled up his emotions deep inside.
On one occasion Elie even suggested that Mark should date. There were no women on the reservation or even in the rest of town that interested him, and he was no good at dating Lord knows how he snagged Elaine in the first place.
Mark would often stop off after work at the Old Dublin and irish-style Pub if it wasn’t already clear enough from its name. But he’d been sober for a year now ever since Elaine left to the very second. Whenever Wendy the waitress would walk by doing her rounds mark would say just a cup of coffee please. And she’d smile she knew him by name. He was practically her father from how much he’d hang around.
It was raining Thursday night and their Mark was at the Dublin work was done with for the night, and not wanting to head home and face Elie’s silence he was here in the corner Booth looking out the window watching the rain.
It never stopped with the rain in Riverdale, Mark thought to himself as he watched the rain drops Sizzle and evaporate on the neon sign of the strip club across the street. It was like the rain had everyone in Riverdale trapped in its endless sorrow, a bubble in which time repeated in a never-ending cycle. He was about to head home when a woman in a long gray coat walked in. She was soaked from head to toe and it looked like her umbrella she was carrying didn’t do her much good. it was almost torn apart from the howling wind outside.
She sat down two booths from Mark. He had never seen her in town before she must have just moved or was passing through. Wendy greeted her “what y'all have” the woman only ordered a cup of coffee and a fried egg. Some may have found that odd at almost 1:30 in the morning. Personally Mark like breakfast for dinner.
“Looks like you’re having a rough day” he said as he walked up to her.
“Thats putting it lightly it seems like everything that could go wrong has gone wrong”. I just moved here seems like my kids there growing further and further apart. My first day of work let’s just say it could have gone better. This was supposed to be a fresh start".
Mark looked at the woman and slid in the seat across from her.
“I hear that I have a son of my own he doesn’t say a word to me”. She smiled at that I knew you looked out of place I never seen you before and I know everyone in Riverdale"
“He sure does”. Wendy said pouring a glass of beer to a customer sitting at the front of the bar.
“So whereabouts do you live” Mark asked.
“The old house just up the road, Cedar manor” she said. Marks face lit up.
“Small world I’m actually the caretaker at that old place um… I didn’t catch your name.
“Talia. Talia Perkins”.
“And I’m mark. Mark Daniels”
That cold rainy night was the first time they meet, and mark didn’t know what it was about Talia, but there was something missing from her. There was loneliness in her eyes. Just like there was loneliness in his.   They may have only just met but it seemed she trusted Mark at least enough to ask for a ride.
The motor of his pickup rumbled and the white exhausted it made stood bright against the  black backdrop of the pitch black sky.
“I know I don’t know you she said. But my son he has trouble fitting in. Maybe since you’re in charge here.. She stumbled with her words. Maybe he could help you around. I’m sorry my English isn’t very good”.
“You mean a Job”.
Eddie was tall skinny and lanky and fast oh he was fast Mark couldn’t leave out that fact. Everything Eddie did seemed Todd from how he moved. He had a nervous demeanor he cracked his knuckles he would always check if there was someone behind him, and his eyes would always shift back and forth.
One week 14 hours and 36 minutes that’s exactly how long and he had been working for Mark Daniels. Mark called him down which was odd because to Eddie’s knowledge marked showed him how to do everything, and for the most part mark left him on his own to get things done. The job was simple. Sweep the Halls, rake the leaves in the courtyard, and help with anything that needed tending to down in the maintenance room.
Eddie hated going down there it was dark creepy and there were spiders everywhere. The humming and clicking the boiler made brought a chill up Eddie spine.
“Eddie. Mark called him into the room where he was busy stocking the shelves of the Supply Closet was light bulbs. His back was turned. I have a new job for you Ed. Aside from what we usually do around here there are a lot of older folks who live in the manor. These tenants need help even if they’re too stubborn to admit it”.
“ what kind of help”? Eddie asked.
“Well Ed some of them don’t have family and can’t go out to buy their groceries. They need a little help. I want you to go up to the third floor room 306 and take this to mr. Daniels”.
“ Daniel’s isn’t that your name”?
Mark looked a little embarrassed “yes Ed he’s my father”.
Eddie thought it might be rude to pry so he only took the two plastic bags of food and made his way up the old stairs up to the third floor. It took Eddie 10 whole minutes to knock on the door. He never was good at Social things.
“Yeah, who’s there”. A voice came through the door. It sounded tired and rough.
“ My name is Eddie mr. Daniels I got some things from Mark”.
The door swung open and in front of him stood up man with white long hair down to his waist. He was maybe in his 70s to mid 80s but he was in good shape considering his age.
“You tell that useless pile of crap to mind his own business”! The door slammed in Eddie’s face. The old man smiled behind the door thinking that was that but then he heard Eddie small voice.
“Please sir if not for Mark at least take it from me. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for you dying or anything”. Eddie stood there staring at the door until finally a full 10 minutes had passed the door slowly creaked open.
“Well you might as well come inside. Come on don’t just stand there looking stupid. Take off your shoes put the bag over there on the table by the couch”.
Eddie did what he was told and sat down. Mr. Daniels was in the kitchen he could hear the clicking and clanging of pots and pans and the boiling of steam in the tea kettle. Room 306 was much smaller than theirs it was basically all one room besides the kitchen and what Eddie assumed was the bedroom. The living room was cluttered there were things everywhere. Things that a normal person wouldn’t dream of keeping. Piles and piles of old newspapers some of the dates going as far back as 1975. There were eight cartons and pizza boxes colorful glass. Things that someone might find laying on the street like a crow might pick up shiny objects that catch its eye. but the thing that most intrigued Eddie was the wall by the window overlooking a dense forest shrouded in fog. There were endless newspaper clippings and strange pictures pinned to the wall and all connected to one another like a web with butcher string.
“They’re missing people. Eddie jumped at mr. Daniels voice. I’ve lived in this town my whole life he began to say. I remember when I was your age my best friend disappeared. It would stop for a time but eventually it would always happen again. The police never cared eventually they forgot about all these people all these kids someone’s family lost souls. They never found my friend. His name was Allen we both decided we were going to run away. Leave the reservation run away from her abusive home from our drunk fathers and neglectful mothers. no one would miss a couple of Indians like us”.
“ What happened”? Eddie asked his eyes bright but anxious.
“We went into those woods over there mr. Daniels looked out the window. Our elders always told us to stay out of those woods. They told us the legend.  my grandmother called it the skin taker but it has had countless names some know it by the Wendigo”.
“What’s that”?
A spirit a spirit of the forest. It takes many forms but it’s most well-known to infect a person’s thoughts. People close to it it breaks their mind fills their thoughts with a ravenous hunger that makes the person go mad. They here it’s voice and kill each other. But I know better. It takes the Flesh in devours its victims lures them in".
Eddie remembered what Eli said and the sweet voice of the woman that lured him to that abandoned house. He always heard the voices but he always thought it was just his mind playing tricks on him he had gone to many doctors and they told him he was schizophrenic. But he would always see things and not just see things he would feel them he would wake up certain mornings when he was four years old with bruises on his chest in the shape of handprints. he glanced at the jumbled web of pictures and string. All the faces of missing children no older than him.  but there was one picture that caught his eye that stood out more than the rest.   it was a drawing done in charcoal it was abstract and didn’t have much of a form. It was some sort of blob covered in eyes.
“ I’ve seen this before” Eddie said pointing to the charcoal drawing.
“Where”! Mr. Daniels asked with a troubling tone.
“In my dreams” is what Eddie replied with.
It was 7:40 a.m. twenty minutes until Kevin Parker had to get ready for school. He yawned and shambled to the bathroom mirror. His short black hair was a mess, and matted like a tattered birds nest. Again he yawned, brushed his teeth and looked into the mirror. Starring back was the same nerdy boy with the thick horn framed glasses.
When he made his way downstairs the sight he was meet with was all to common. An empty house. Kevin opened the fridge, at least there was food today. He made himself a couple of eggs and a cup of black coffee just the way he liked it. Maybe it was a little odd, most kids his age thought coffee was gross but not Kevin. He liked the dark bitter flavor. He grabbed his backpack and headed out the door but as he open it his father stepped in. His toolbox hanging from his left hand.
He wore his denim overalls soaked in the old oil from the mechanic shop where he worked. “ Hey Dad you stayed all night again”.
“ sorry Kev I know I’ve been busy it’s that time of year. I worry about you Kev I know those kids bullying you be careful”.
“ Thanks Dad”.
Kevin’s mother died when he was only 4 years old. He couldn’t really remember what she looked like. There were no pictures of her anywhere his dad didn’t like to talk about her. All his dad would tell him was “it was a car accident”. When he mentioned to his father he should put himself out there all Mr Parkers would say was “ Not today kev too busy”. And he was he never missed a day of work in all of Kevin’s life. But he didn’t need to worry Kevin Parker could take care of himself. He had Bean at Riverdale High almost a year and in all that time he hadn’t made a single friend. He probably could if you wanted to but Kevin was happy to be with himself. Other people always would flock together in crowds but Kevin was fine with being on his own. He valued the time he had to himself. every day when most kids his age would eagerly awaited the Bell to hang out with their friends, but not Kevin he would stay hours until the school closed until mrs. Hawkins the school librarian with glare and tell him to leave.
He could take care of himself he had being for years.
That day was like any other Kevin was taking notes as their science teacher Mr. Hale shuffled through the slides on the overhead projector. The shutter the ancient machine caused a smirk to appear on Kevin’s face.
“ mr. Parker mr. Hale looked at Kevin with a Stern expression then it broke. Mr. Hale was always the jokester. He was everyone’s favorite teacher but behind that comedic expression was a hidden sorrow. All the students in room for a new that mr. Hale had a daughter and that she passed away the year before. It was does a brain tumor which cost a blood vessel to rupture she almost died instantly. And for that reason they are forced to smile at his lame jokes.
The hierarchy of the class was simple the smart kids aka what people would call nerds set in the front row. The kids that eagerly answered the teacher’s questions the moment they were called upon. The other group were the ones that set at the very back never did their homework and prayed that they were never called upon.
Trevor Duvall was exactly one of those some buddies. He sat why the back window surrounded by his friends. Unbeknownst to him Trevor stared at the boy with the thick frame glasses as he carved a skull and crossbones into the ancient desk with his Swiss Army knife which he kept hidden under the sleeve of his shirt.
Just as quickly as class begin it ended in like usual Kevin headed to the library to fill his head with research to escape the troubles of his life. Here there were no worries no responsibilities. Just Kevin and his books. He headed down the hall avoiding the Swarms of teenagers the 10th and 12th graders. He had to. It was a common practice to Haze the 9th graders . Travis was in the 9th grade but he was the oldest he had repeated the 9th grade two times already. His mother would always say he wouldn’t amount to much. ” dumber than a sack of rocks" that’s what his mother would say.
Travis could never live up to his older brother no matter what he did his brother wood outshine his every effort. But when he disappeared even with him gone would always bring up if Michael was here he would do it right. Why can’t you be more like Michael.
Kevin thought he was so smart teacher’s pet. It made the anchor in Travis grow he grit his teeth. Kevin Parker took his time removing his things from his locker. His coat, his textbooks for science math and history. Then Kevin like always quietly made his way out through the back door of the school where no one would see him. No one did he was never very noticeable that is every day but today. He was almost at his place of Refuge the library when Travis and his three friends Pete, Zack and Jeff came up behind him and surrounded him from all sides.
“ Hey Travis Kevin nervously said. I don’t want any trouble”.
Travis laughed and all three of the other members of his group began to laughed as well. It was nervous laughter like the three of them were afraid. Afraid of what Travis might do. He had gone over the edge before. His daddy always use to tell him people who were different weren’t to be trusted. That their very exsistance tainted the rest of the good hard working folks around them. And so Travis believed that to. It was his daddy and why would his daddy lie.
“I don’t like you parker. In fact no one likes you. You and you’re dad are freaks”.
“Yeah your dad looks mexican and is too poor to feed you”. Zack laughed.
“Look his clothes"Jeff  also began to laugh.
Kevin stood there in his clothes that his dad got from his aunt and thrift stores. He clenched his fists. So what if he was poor his dad was a good person more than he could say for any of them.
“And don’t forget he’s super religious to” Peter the last member of Travis group chuckled in his moronic voice.
“THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT”!! Kevin shouted.
“What’s wrong slant eyes baby gonna cry. Word around town is that your old man murdered your mom”.
Kevin bolted at Travis and try to slug him in the gut but the boy who had at least 60 pounds on him narrowly dodged.
“ did we get you mad baby boy. What even are you anyway you’re white yellow? You’re just ugly muddy trash”.
They had a saying in Japan for children who were half Japanese half something else. They would call them hafu. I’m pure there blood was contaminated muddy. No matter how hard they tried they would never live up to the nobility of a pure Japanese. Kevin’s father had met his mother during the war when he was stationed in Hiroshima. He fell in love with the tall Slender Woman and brought her back to Canada to their little hometown of Riverdale. Kevin could almost pass for Canadian but there was something different about him his mother knew this and told his father to never mention his culture. She tried to hide the fact that he was different. People would just think he was an illegitimate child and it would bring shame to her family. But Travis picked up on the fact that he didn’t look quite like everyone else his fair skin his slightly slanted eyes. Travis’s father said those type of people we’re better off dead. And his daddy was never wrong. When he was five he questioned this to his father and he made himself clear and told Travis to take off his shirt. And like the innocent five-year-old he did so. His father took off his belt and with the Brass Buckle he beat him. The sound of the leather thrashing through the air and breaking Travis skin what’s deafening. He learned his lesson never question. If a man reacted so savagely over a simple question it must have been a universal law. That these people weren’t human.
Mr. Dubell was a police officer he dealt with criminals murderers rapists but that wasn’t the reason he hated them, People who were of different race. The reason was they were different. And since the beginning of time humans feared what was different. The eyes watched and grew relishing in the suffering a smirk appeared on the Shadows face it fed on the negativity and grew stronger.
Travis was Furiously  grabbed Kevin and pushed him up against the brick wall in the courtyard where the 12th graders smoked. No one would see because it was the last period of the day and everyone either skipped or were already in class. Travis three friends looks nervous until finally Zack was the one who spoke.
"Hey Travis don’t you think this is taking it a little too far”.
And  at that Travis lost what little restraint he had. He pulled out the Swiss Army knife from his jean pocket and at the same time he was holding up Kevin he grabbed Zack’s shirt.
“ Don’t ever tell me what to do. I’ll tell you when it’s too far”.
Kevin’s eyes grew as he saw the gleam of the metal reflect in the sunlight followed by an intense burning. Travis had plunged the blade of his Swiss army knife into Kevin’s Temple it dragged down cutting the side of his face from the top of his head to halfway down his cheek. But in Desperate situations people who ordinarily thought they had no strings found it deep down. Kevin kneed Travis right in the balls, and he ran. Without any regards to his things he ran.  His bag full of his belongings that were most precious to him, his books his Spider-Man comics his countless hours of research all Left Behind in the water drenched pavement of the school basketball court.
Travis quickly chased after him he screamed at his friends to go after Kevin has the small teenager ran across the street almost being hit by a passing car. The people in the car saw him they saw the Panic on his face but they just kept driving. Kevin muttered under his breath “bitch”.  He fell to his knees and there he was standing on the edge up the Willow Creek Woods, the only thing between him was a flimsy railing that separated the woods from the road.
“Nowhere to go now baby”.
But there was yes. Kevin jumped he plunged into the Ravine the palms of his hands were torn by the gravel in broken glass his jeans which were brand new and a birthday gift from his father we’re torn to shreds. Kevin heard the leaves crunching in the Twigs breaking in the distance. Travis and his friends were coming after him. Their voices getting louder and louder. He did the only thing he could do and that was hide.
Kevin landed in knee-deep water in the small Creek that ran through the woods. He ran faster and faster hoping he could get away then he saw it. There was a cave. In the back of his mind he thought there was something strange about that cave but he went in anyways. He thought there probably were Bears inside but he took the risk because this was a sign it was a miracle that this cable was even there.
Inside it was dark and wet so dark that it was Pitch Black. The kind of dark that he rent a boat in the National Geographic Magazines at the library that he loved so much. He read an article in one of them about the creatures that lived at the bottom of the ocean floor we’re not a sliver of light would reach. The animals there were born without eyes or if they did have eyes they had no purpose anymore.
His heart was racing in his chest. “Please God don’t let them find me. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’ll be a good Christian. God I didn’t mean to skip church last Sunday. And I’m sorry I got a boner when Henry Thomas showed me his brothers 30 magazines with the naked ladies. Please don’t let Travis find me”.
Travis was so close that Kevin could almost feel his voice on the back of his neck.
“ Come on let’s go he must have slipped into town”.
Kevin’s Hart settled back down it was a miracle. “ what a dreadful child” a voice came from the darkness. Kevin turned but it was pointless he couldn’t see anything even if he wanted to. But much to his surprise a pair of violet colored eyes appeared in the Darkness. They glowed bright showing what was behind them. Standing before Kevin was a deer, but it wasn’t a normal deer and one could tell as much from its eyes. But what made this year different was that it’s good on its hind legs.
Kevin jumped back. “WHAT THE HE’LL ARE YOU”
It looked at Kevin and walked around him in a circle its Hooves clattering against the stone ground.
“ Don’t be afraid Kevin Parker”.
“How do you know my name”?
“Kevin I know all in this world you are a high school student in the 9th grade do you live with your father Matthew Parker. And deep down Even If you deny it you are lonely and wish to have a best friend”.
The deer was right no matter how much Kevin tried he was lonely.
“ I can make it happen it began to say. Whatever your greatest desire is I can make it so. All I ask from you is to come with me”.
And as soon as the deer spoke those words the came was brought to life with light. Hundreds of thousands of eyes begin to open all around them on the moss covered walls. They were pure Scarlet with light green pupils that shifted from side to side. But there was one gigantic one in the center of the cave. It opens and there was a blinding light stronger than the Sun. It was a gateway.
“Come Kevin”.
“I’m sorry” I can’t he finally spilled the words.
“ I thought as much your time hasn’t come yet but my offer still stands return to me when you have made a decision”. The deer turned away and made its way to the portal.
“Wait what’s your name”?
“My dear boy my name matters not but you may call me Gremish”. And as quickly as he appeared in a flash of light it was gone. The eyes the deer . Kevin felt around but there was nothing no portal no nothing it was just an ordinary cave.
When it saw through the trees it knew everything about Emily.
It was cold and the little girl shivered in her torn pink winter coat. No one noticed that an eight year old girl wandered from her home to the isolated park just beyond the forest. Douglas Spencer the girls father was a drunk. There were many fights between him and his wife Alison. Bruises, black eyes, and broken bottles was all there ever were in Emily Spencer’s home.  
Emily although covered with bruises and broken blood vessels smiled as she swung back and forth on the swing. She was hopeful that one day everything would be alright. That her daddy would stop drinking, and her and her mom and dad would be a family again.
It knew what Emily’s greatest desire was.
She looked up into the dark sky as snow fell on her face. It accumulated on her eyelashes. Creek crunch. Creek crunch.  The sound of footsteps in the snow. When she looked in the direction of the sound she saw her mother. Emily was slightly confused. Her mother had come to get her. It was what the girl had always wanted from her mother, for her to care.
She held her hand as they walked, and Emily looked up at her. “Where are we going”? Emily asked. But her mother did not respond. But the girl knew it wasn’t the way home. She knew the way home. They had walked it together every day when Alison would pick her up from kindergarten.
The full moon hung low and bright in the night sky, but tonight it had a red hue to it. This girl would do it, it thought to itself as it read every thought in Emily’s mind, every desire that was ever in her head. Every fear,every joy was known to it at that moment.
“Emily what do you want in the whole world”. Her mother asked.
She thought about it for a moment then she looked into her mothers eyes. “I wish you and dad would stop fighting so we can be a family again”.
Alison smiled and answered That’s why i’m here everything is going to be alright now. Lets gets some ice cream.
Emily smiled at that as she remembered the Rock Cold Creamery, and how she would see all the happy families having their ice cream. She wished that could be them.
It seemed that they had been walking for hours, and Emily didn’t recognize anything around her. “Mom are you sure were going the right way”? she cried. But all Alison would say was.
“Just a little further; its a shortcut”.
The moon continued to shine bright through the thick trees.
“Emily you do want to be a family forever. Isn’t that your greatest desire”?
Something was wrong  they were nowhere near town, nowhere near anything. And the expression on Alison’s face . Emily knew something wasn’t right. This wasn’t her mother. Her skin had turned pure white, and the look on her face wasn’t Alison. Still time slowed as minutes felt like days. But soon enough they had come to the center of the woods. Not a sign of anyone or civilization to be heard or seen.
“Emily i’m going to take you to a place  where everything will be perfect like when your dad and i were happy. It promised me. Alison said.
“Mom who promised you, what are you talking about, where we going”?  Emily’s voice rose with panic as each word left her mouth. Then she saw something peculiar. It was a deer. Not like anyone she had ever  seen. It’s eyes glowed pale like moonlight, and it stood on its hind legs like a man. It bowed moving its hoofs down gesturing for the two females to come over to it.
It stood in the entrance to a cave. The cavern Emily remembered it somehow  from a dream.
Inside was not what one would expect  from the inside of a cavern. The walls were perfectly smooth and pure white. There were no doors, entrances of any kind. In fact the space Emily and her mother had used to come inside had vanished. All there was , was a blinding light in the center of the room, and that was all there was to the room. A room, space that seemed to stretch out endlessly. Light poured from the portal. It was the very thing staining everything white. Emily’s mother was standing next to it. The figure of the deer had disappeared into the light. There was a feeling of warmth, comfort.
“Come Emily, come everything will be alright”. Her mother held out her hand as she began to disappear as well into the portal.  
The girls instincts told her not to go, but she ignored them all as every one of them were overwhelmed by the feeling of warmth the light filled Emily with. It was too late then. She had stared into the void. Poking her little face through the light. And what she saw was something indescribable.     Her mother told her it was a perfect world where all dreams came true. Where her, her mom, and her dad would be happy again. But what she saw in the light was none of those things. She was completely submerged in the light now. It felt like Emily was deep underwater. It was heavy and suffocating, and there was nothing around her. Emily floated in the void that stretched into infinity. She cried out  “Mom, mom where are you”? But there was no answer.
In the blackness they appeared, three rubies. Perfect spears of red light. They fickered fading in and out of exsistance. Until finally it was clear what they were. Eyes,eyes as big as planets, and when the girl saw who or what they belonged to her blood ran cold. It was a shapeless mass that somewhat resembled an angler fish. A type of fish that dwelled  in the darkest depths of the sea where not a shred of light would ever reach.  Like the angler it had an antenna that  protruded
from its forehead, with a gland at the end that produced a light.   It opened what would be its mouth was the closest way to describe it. For it was a creature not of this world, and was formless and indescribable to mortal eyes.  Inside was spiral that stretched to infinity with rows and rows of jagged teeth cascading down like a stairway. In its center was the light. The light that Emily saw before. It came from the inside of this creature.
The girl was in a trance her eyes clouded in a pale hue of white. She saw what she most desired in the void of the creature’s mouth. Her mother, her father, and herself as a family.
“Come Emily join us” the creature called out. Emily heard the words, but not out loud but in her mind.
She could not control herself, and was drawn to the creature. And as quickly as it appeared the angler pounced tearing the girls head from her body.
The three perfect spears glowed as the creature had absorbed another victim.  At that moment Eddie Perkins awoke in his bed, sweating, his heart pumping so violently he thought it would exploded in his chest. Not sure if it was a dream.  
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aion-rsa · 4 years ago
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Raised by Wolves: Ridley Scott and Aaron Guzikowski Talk Parenting on a New Planet
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HBO Max’s new science fiction series Raised by Wolves is the kind of genre collaboration where it’s fascinating to trace its disparate elements back to their various sources. Showrunner Aaron Guzikowski broke into Hollywood with the 2013 film Prisoners, about the lengths to which a father will go to rescue his kidnapped daughter—themes that are just as relatable whether it’s a pair of androids or space Crusaders on that same parental journey.
Then there’s Sir Ridley Scott, who describes his process as “shifting from visual image to visual image in my head.” The iconic director brought everything from childhood remembrances of post-World War II radio serials to New York City’s iconic Atlas statue to the show’s terrifying android Mother (Amanda Collin). That necromancer-turned-nurturer is herself an evolution of the increasingly uncanny androids that have characterized Scott’s body of work from Alien to Blade Runner. Further, while Raised by Wolves is Scott’s television directorial debut for an American audience, he credits his decades of commercial work (estimating at least 2,000 commercials) as his “real directing school.”
Guzikowski and Scott spoke with Den of Geek about how Raised by Wolves reaches back into Earth’s history in order to break humanity’s toxic patterns on future planets, and how AI stories reflect contemporary parenting in all its ego and good intentions.
Den of Geek: Aaron, what initially inspired the series?
Aaron Guzikowski: I’ve been into science fiction for all my life, basically. My father got me into it, so it’s always been an obsession of mine—and often just the way in terms of how I think about the world and try to think through these science fiction scenarios and try to understand the present day a little bit better. But I also have three young sons and, you know, just thinking about them and the encroachment of technology and what the future might bring: if should they ever be given the opportunity to start a new civilization, start from scratch, but they know what happened on Earth, you have all of that information—making that decision [of] what are you gonna take with you and what are you gonna try and leave behind? Is that even something we’re able to do, or are we so genetically programmed as human beings to keep falling back into these cycles? Is there some rut that we can’t get out of, or is this something that we can free ourselves from and find some renewed sense of purpose?
I think a lot of sci-fi is asking exactly that right now. Ridley, how did you get involved?
Sir Ridley Scott: The script was fantastic. I was going to come in as a producer with my company [Scott Free Productions], but I was blown away by honestly the first three episodes, and I felt I didn’t want to let this get away. I wanted to be involved in the casting of the characters, how it looks—very important—because with such a great script, you don’t want it to go off the rails and become a bit more normal or the usual suspects. Really, the inspiration was the material.
Aaron’s spec script inspired some visual interpretations from you, which led to further shaping the series. Can you describe your collaboration?
Sir Ridley Scott: I read visually—that’s the way my mind works—so when I’m reading I’m getting… You know, the most visual medium in the world is radio, because your brain is gonna be better than any screen. And on a screen you are already focused on that and your brain is processing that, but it’s not thinking. I come from the generation just out of the war, [and] my mother’s favorite thing to do was to sit on a Thursday night and listen to a radio show called Inner Sanctum. But she was so afraid to listen to the radio [alone], she’d make my brother and I sit with her to accompany her. It would begin with a creaking door and footsteps, and a deep voice would say, “Good evening friends, this is [your host Raymond Edward Johnson], the story for this evening is…” and he’d go into a new story, and we’d all be scared to death after the next hour.
So my mother had to have all the children sitting—we were all scared to death—but I’ll never forget the visuals that would go through your mind as you’re listening to the sound effects, the voices, etcetera, etcetera. And so to me, on paper has the same effect; I read it, and the images are whirring.
Aaron, did you draw from specific historical religious conflicts (the Crusades, etc.) in crafting this future and its defining conflict between the Mithraic cult and the atheists? Or was it more generally inspired by zealotry itself?
Aaron Guzikowski: I think zealotry in general, but certainly the Crusades—definitely in terms of the design, the uniforms. This idea, too, that we keep reaching into Earth’s past to tell the story of the future here a little bit. They are restarting this new planet and [there’s] this kind of mirroring of the ancient history of Earth as this new planet gets started; but also, too, our propensity on Earth for memorializing and worshipping ancient things. The older something becomes, the more mysterious; the more able we are to extrapolate holiness out of it, the less we know about it. So it’s a little bit of all of that in there.
Speaking of the Mithraic cult, the necromancers are terrifying. Ridley, when you were directing the first two episodes and especially directing Amanda Collin as Mother—as this simultaneously destructive force and nurturing force—what were you trying to get out of her performance? You’ve been behind so many iconic android performances over the decades, especially from Ian Holm and Michael Fassbender in the Alien franchise, as well as the Blade Runner films.
Sir Ridley Scott:I knew that there’d be a moment where Mother would move from being a very thoughtful, female version of an android—an AI—and there was a gentle quality to her cadence, and very thoughtful; essentially, [she] would be a great mother. But I also knew that down the line, she would adjust—and could adjust, almost without being able to help herself—into being a kind of weapon. One of the most impressive pieces of sculpture in New York [City] is outside [Rockefeller Center]. Ithas the most incredible statue of a bronze character holding up a giant ball. [Atlas, carrying the world on his shoulders, a collaboration between artists Lee Lawrie and Rene Paul Chambellan.] I used to stare at that thinking, “That’s Mother.” Except, she’ll be supremely female. And so I kind of modeled Mother on that. But she’s pretty impressive, isn’t she? Scary as hell.
Aaron, with Prisoners and now Raised by Wolves, you’ve created these genre stories about the lengths that parents will go to for their children. We see that with Mother and Father obviously, but also with Marcus and Sue. What is it about those stories that compels you?
Aaron Guzikowski:  I do like characters who are pushed to do something no matter what, where you have no choice: You are essentially being tasked with rescuing some part of yourself—that connective tissue between the parent and the child, in that they are kind of the same being in some sense, so stories like that interested me on that level. And here too, just the whole idea of creators and their creations; I think as it applies to AI, but even as it applies to human parents and their children: We have the genetics, the stuff that they’re born with, the stuff that they come out already ready-made; and then the environmental stuff, what we choose to then teach them, how we direct them. But also at the same time, they come from us, so the way we see them is completely clouded by our own ego on some level. I love taking all of that stuff and infusing it into this story, because I think it kinda supercharges everything. It’s such a primal thing, parents and their children; as I said, it’s almost like it’s a part of yourself. So in terms of the storytelling, it definitely opens up a lot of interesting doors.
Raised by Wolves premieres its first three episodes September 3 on HBO Max.
The post Raised by Wolves: Ridley Scott and Aaron Guzikowski Talk Parenting on a New Planet appeared first on Den of Geek.
from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3jBKCXW
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americanahighways · 6 years ago
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Review by Michael Magoolaghan (https://americanahighways.org/author/mack-hooligan/)
Photos by Jimmy Faber Photography (https://www.facebook.com/JimmyFaberPhotography/)
What if I told you I’m in love with a band that was named after its mastermind’s pet snail? And that said band promoted itself for a time by representing its music as having been produced by a snail — and that its label (Yer Bird) was fine with that? And that the band’s website to this day features a page containing nothing but photos of snails?
What if I further told you that the same band decided, after finally agreeing to self- identify as humans, to obscure their identities by adopting the family moniker “Jones” and letting each band member preface his or her common surname (though none are related) with a jokey, old-timey Appalachian name?
Thus we have: Hezekiah Jones (aka, songwriting snail-lover Raphael “Raph” Cutrufello); Pocono Jones (Brad Hinton); Roy G. Biv Jones (Daniel Bower); Kiwi Jones (Kiley Ryan); Tones Jones (Andy Keenan); and Peter L.V. Jones (Alex Luquet).
Welcome to the surreal, humorous, sometimes dark, sometimes darkly humorous and always strangely magical world of Hezekiah Jones, the best and certainly most unique folk / Americana / sui generis band you probably haven’t yet heard of.
Orbiting around the fertile imagination and songwriting talents of Cutrufello, this collective of Philadelphia-area musicians — often featuring Phil D’Agostino in place of Luquet on bass and on this night featuring Keenan, recently returned to Philadelphia from Nashville, on pedal steel and banjo — has been quietly compiling a strong catalog of quirky, mundanely-yet-transcendentally beautiful and always hummable songs since the mid-2000s. A good number of those songs have the morbidly comedic feel of an Edward Gorey illustration; some seem to harken back to a vaguely Civil War-era America that history books could never capture, while others live in a weird, semi sci-fi time & space all their own.
In short, Cutrufello’s aim is off-kilter and intentionally headed off the beaten path — though his songs simultaneously seem hauntingly familiar, like misheard hymns or battle marches. As “Hundred Miles In,” from the band’s most recent, 2015 full-length
album In Loving Memory of oosi Lockjaw (yes, you read that right) puts it: “I know you’re kinda strange / ‘cause you’re not really into the normal stuff / You know you’re kinda weird / when you’re not really into humans that much.” (He prefers snails, obviously.)
If you’re curious about this curious band, …oosi Lockjaw is a decent ledge from which to leap into their eccentric universe. Have You Seen Our New Fort? — a 2011 release that features 14 different players and incorporates such unusual instrumentation (especially for a “folk” album) as glockenspiel, waterboards, sleigh bells, trombones, baritone saxophone and clarinet — is another one.
Though you may not have heard of them, Hezekiah Jones has been a pretty big draw in Philadelphia for a while now, filling places like Johnny Brenda’s, the Ardmore Music Hall, and on this particular evening, the newish venue 118 North in Wayne (on the western side of Philly’s “Main Line”), where Cutrufello hosts a weekly Wednesday night open mic / jam that draws many of the area’s best musicians.
That same venue was packed to the gills with Hezekiah aficionados last Saturday. Darlyngton, the love-child band of Jack Shoudy and Emily MacDonald (who grew up in Wayne) — led off with a set dominated by danceable Grateful Dead jams and lesser known covers, including an interesting rendition of John Prine’s classic “Sam Stone.” A tall redhead with a strong voice and swirling freeform dance moves, MacDonald was the visual focal point, while the rest of the band played their parts more than competently, luring a good portion of the audience onto the dance floor by set’s end.
The Hezekiah Jones sextet then squished onto the smallish stage to play two long sets, performing 25 songs en toto, and re-peforming a snippet of one of those songs (their cover of Sonny & Cher’s “I Got You Babe”) at least eight times, by my count.
To be completely honest, after the third or fourth annoying repetition of that snippet, my reaction was WTF?!?
Cutrufello later reminded me that Februrary 2nd was Groundhog Day, and that that particular snippet — introduced heartily each time with the phrase “Okay campers, rise and shine, and don’t forget your booties, ‘cause it’s COLD OUT THERE!” by drummer Roy G. Biv Hones / Daniel Bower (who also serves as the regular drummer for central Pennsylvania Americana veterans Frog Holler) — plays on the radio as Bill Murray wakes redundantly to his alarm clock in the 1993 comedy of that name.
Now I’m not just annoyed; I’m thoroughly amused.
Cutrufello, you see, is a charmingly wicked, wickedly charming fellow, in his mild- mannered, sweet-natured way. He’s the kind of guy who can annoy you by pulling your leg but then instantly disarm your distemper with a wink and a warm grin (or perhaps a shot of gin). His songs have a similar effect, reeling you in to what feels like a joke that may or may not be on you, but then unreeling them out so that they come to resonate, sometimes immediately, sometimes only in hindsight, like a Zen master’s firm knock on an initiate’s head.
In short, if you’ve never seen Hezekiah Jones live, you’re in for a treat when you do — especially if you like your folk and/or Americana mysterious and a bit offbeat (in a good way). To give you some hint of what you might see and hear, highlights from the Groundhog Day show included:
Cutrufello’s warm vocals on “Spare the Whiskey,” complemented beautifully by violinist Kiley Ryan’s harmonies
Similarly lovely harmonies and guitar accompaniment on “Agnes of the World,” the lead-off song from their debut album, Hezekiah Says You’re A-OK
Keenan’s mournful pedal steel accompanying Cutrufello’s clever lyrics on “Cupcakes for the Army,” featuring such Zen koan-ish lines as “Who needs keys when you got logic? / Who needs logic when you’ve got doubt?” and “No one wins a war anymore with compromise and smiles / Real religion’s in the mind of a child”
The second set’s consecutive sequencing of six of Cutrufello’s best songs, including the 2018 release “If You Harden on the Inside,” which led into a truly astonishing drum solo by Bower. That was followed by the short, cryptic and quickly accelerating “That Panel Where the Soap is at on the Machines” and the crowd-pleasing quartet of “Albert Hash,” “Yeshe and Horus,” the carnivalesque waltz/singalong “Cannonball (I’ve Got a Little Room)” and the Squirrel Nut Zipper- ish “Mind Malaise,” adorned by Hinton’s superb Telecaster soloThe band capped the second set with tasty renditions of a couple of cover tunes: Sparklehorse’s “Knives of Summertime,” on which the Joneses laid out for an extended jam, and the Palace Brothers’ / Bonnie “Prince” Billy’s “I Am a Cinematographer,” featuring tastefully effective fiddle and guitar solos by Ryan and Hinton respectively.Though they’re not touring widely these days (“With kids and mortgages and such, sleeping on floors and making minimal money just don’t make the sense it used to make,” says Cutrufello), Hezekiah Jones does play fairly regularly around Philly, and Cutrufello and the other band members are mainstays at the Robin & Beth Fest each summer. If you’ve never seen them live and are in the area, you owe it to yourself to check them out.
————
More info on the band (plus snail pix!) is available at (http:/www.hezekiahjones.com). The group’s songs are available on Bandcamp (https:// hezekiahjones.bandcamp.com), Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/artist/ 20lXQKFXIjJfHdgl7Um0XA), iTunes and most other digital distribution platforms.
  Show Review: Hezekiah Jones Unveils Its Charming Cabinet of Snail Curiosities at 118 North @118_North @hezekiah_jones #americanamusic Review by Michael Magoolaghan ( Photos by Jimmy Faber Photography ( What if I told you I’m in love with a band that was named after its mastermind’s pet snail?
0 notes
adambstingus · 6 years ago
Text
20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything
We know them, we love (most of) them: the impossible-to-buy-for people in your life. Whether its the husband who has everything, or the BFF who just doesnt want a lot of clutter around, they can make gift buying feel like a search for the holy grail.
That’s why we scoured Amazon to find fifteen of the most amazingproducts notebooks that erase themselves in the microwave, to magical pens that let you draw in three dimensions that are sure to surprise, and probably please, those hard-to-buy-for friends.
We hope you love at least one of these odd and awesome products. Just an FYI: 22Words may get a share of any sale through links on this page.
1
These Glasses That Aerate Wine On Contact So You Can Drink ASAP
via: Amazon
Wine lovers and design aficionados alike are singing the praises of these innovative wine glasses throughout their Amazon reviews. The built-in aerator lets you ditch the decanter and oxygenate your wine on contact so you can dig right into the delicious red nectar. Theyre not inexpensive, but for the type of people fancy enough to aerate their wine in the first place, its surely a paltry sum.
Snappy Amazon Review: Worth every penny. -Kimberly
2
This Beautiful Piece of Jewelry That’s A Fitness Tracker In Disguise
via: Amazon
FitBits are nice and all, but some days you dont want a big rubber band around your wrist screaming Im health conscious! to everyone you pass. Thats what makes the BellaBeat Leaf Nature Health Trackersuch a refreshing innovation. Beautiful and versatile, the BellaBeat can be worn as a necklace or bracelet, and tracks your daily steps, distance traveled and calories burned.
Snappy Amazon Review: The most low maintenance fitness tracker ever made and it’s gorgeous. -Elida Omerkic
3
This Tiny Gadget That Makes Your Car Smell Great
via: Amazon
Ditch the Febreze and get your FRiEQ on with the FRiEQ Car Air Purifier. The FRiEQ pumps three million negative ions per cubic centimeter into the air, which destroy odor causing particulates on contact, including mold, bacteria and viruses. Best of all, its powered by your cars 12V plug, so youll never run out of fresh air energy.
Snappy Amazon Review: My car certainly smells better. –Sammidee
4
These Tiny Bags of Charcoal That Drink In Odor
via: Amazon
Rescue your favorite footwear from inevitable shoe-smell with these all-natural, activated charcoal Footwear Deodorizers. And theyre not just for shoes the activated charcoal actively absorbs moisture in any situation, preventing pervasive odors and bacterial growth, so you can easily deodorize stinky refrigerators, closets and basements. They make no claims about stinky husbands, children, or coworkers however.
Snappy Amazon Review: Product works as Described, sucks all smell from shoes. -Kalpesh
…AND GETS ALL UP IN YOUR FACEBOOK
More posts in #Bizarre
People Are TICKED United Banned Two Girls From Their Flight For What They Were Wearing
14 Times Leggings Made You Question Everything You Know About Fashion
20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything
16 Popular Foreign Superstitions That Make Absolutely No Sense
22 Photos That Are Guaranteed To Make You Feel a Little Awkward and Uncomfortable
5
This Miracle Broom That Cleans Floors, Walls, Windows and More
via: Amazon
Perfect for your neat-freak friends, the Evriholder FURemover Broom’swide head of 100% natural rubber bristles to grab and trap dirt, dust, lint and pet hair with ease its even got a telescoping handle for reaching the cobwebbiest of corners. Right now its one of the most popular brooms on Amazon, and with well over 2,000 positive reviews, its not hard to see why.
Snappy Amazon Review: This thing just plain works. -Nick V.
6
This Portable Charcoal Grill That Somehow Runs on Batteries
via: Amazon
If youre not into grilling, you may not be as impressed as I am by the truly innovative Gourmia Grill. It combines the inimitable flavor of a charcoal grill with the ease of non-stick surfaces and battery-powered portability. Perfect for grilling on the patio and small enough to pack for the next tailgate, the Gourmia Grills turbo fan provides precise air control to perfectly grill dogs, burgers, steaks and more, while conserving your charcoal consumption. And that just makes sense. Dollars, and cents.
Snappy Amazon Review: Gave as gift got a hamburger and hot dog in return. -Amazon Customer
7
This Indoor Garden That Grows Herbs Even I Can’t Kill
via: Amazon
I have a few talents in life. Horticulture is not one of them. Hence my immediate attraction to the Click & Grow Indoor Smart Herb Garden. The manufacturer boasts that growing herbs is as easy as inserting the plant capsules, filling the water tank (possible sticking point), and plugging the unit in. After that, let the automatic hydration system, low-energy LED grow light and the miracle of Mother Nature work their collective magic, and watch as the herbs of your choice spring to life. Delicious, fragrant life.
Snappy Amazon Review: I would have given 5 stars if it had come with something other than just basil. That’s the only thing I’d change. -Meghan
8
This Ring Of Power That Renders Your Smartphone Undroppable
via: Amazon
Since I got one, theiRinghas saved my iPhone from countless potentially devastating smartphone injuries. The iRing attaches via ultra-strong adhesive to the back of your smartphone, giving you a solid, swiveling ring through which to thread a finger of your choice, or with which to prop up your phone for some bedside Netflixin. Oh, and dont forget the included plastic hook, onto which the iRing settles nicely for use in the car.
Snappy Amazon Review: I’m a klutz so I drop stuff all the time, and this really helps. -Lunatique
More posts in #Bizarre
People Are TICKED United Banned Two Girls From Their Flight For What They Were Wearing
14 Times Leggings Made You Question Everything You Know About Fashion
20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything
16 Popular Foreign Superstitions That Make Absolutely No Sense
22 Photos That Are Guaranteed To Make You Feel a Little Awkward and Uncomfortable
9
This Waffle Iron That’s Shaped Like a Keyboard
via: Amazon
I dont think an explanation is needed here. It’s a Keyboard Waffle Iron. Pass the syrup.
Snappy Amazon Review: Yesterday I did nothing because my keyboard was a waffle the whole time. -Leedlej
10
This Bottle Opener That Also Holds Your Child’s Fine Art
via: Amazon
There are few things more irritating than trying to track down a bottle opener when youre hankering for a cold one. Thats why no one will complain when you gift them this impossible-to-lose Master Magnetics Bottle Opener. Strong magnets keep it adhered to the beer cooler (aka, refrigerator), where it can amass an ever-growing collection of child artwork, or a collection of bottle caps so large it might force you to reevaluate your life choices.
Snappy Amazon Review: The magnets are really strong. -Edward
11
These Magical Drops That Change The Way You Taste Food
via: Amazon
MBerry Drops contain extracts from the so-called miracle fruit a mysterious berry that causes some pretty serious shifts in your taste perception. Dissolve one of these ten tablets on your tongue, and everything changes. Lemons taste like lemonade. Vinegar tastes like apple juice. Cheese tastes like frosting. You suddenly achieve the body of your dreams. Okay, were lying about that last part, but we swear these drops are the real, and somewhat freaky, deal.
Snappy Amazon Review: Yes they work. -Heart Dad
12
This Notebook That Erases Itself In The Microwave
via: Amazon
While the surveillance utility of microwave ovens has been debunked, the ability of microwaves to completely clear the Rocketbook Wave Smart Notebook of your top-secret doodles or late-night confessions is fully bunked. Seriously, this notebook erases itself in the microwave. And it even comes with a Rocketbook app which scans your work in hi-def before obliteration.
Snappy Amazon Review: I love this notebook. -ecaminos
More posts in #Bizarre
People Are TICKED United Banned Two Girls From Their Flight For What They Were Wearing
14 Times Leggings Made You Question Everything You Know About Fashion
20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything
16 Popular Foreign Superstitions That Make Absolutely No Sense
22 Photos That Are Guaranteed To Make You Feel a Little Awkward and Uncomfortable
13
This All Natural Deodorant That’s Worth Buying For The Name Alone
via: Amazon
Say it three times fast: Primal Pit Paste Deodorant. PPPD is an all-natural solution to body odor, featuring a 100% aluminum-free mixture of shea butter, arrowroot powder and baking soda for an odor fighting and soothing solution. But lets be honest, youre just buying this to give your friend something called Primal Pit Paste.
Snappy Amazon Review: 4 months later I am still using nothing but Primal Pit Paste! -Jen
14
This Pen That Lets You Sculpt Your Own New Reality Where You Made Better Choices
via: Amazon
For those of us that struggle to draw even the simplest of 3d figures, the 3Doodler Create 3D Pen is a mind-blowing game changer, allowing even the most challenged of artists to realize their visions in 3D plastic reality. Like normal 3D printers, the 3Doodler extrudes melted plastic, which dries almost instantly as you bring your vision to life whether that be a scale model of the Eiffel Tower, or a drooping mess of an attempt at a human head. Theres certainly a learning curve with the 3Doodler, but the potential for awesomeness cant be denied.
Snappy Amazon Review: My son loves this! -Dawn
15
These Platypi That Infuse Your Tea With Too Much Adorability
via: Amazon
To be fair, theres a veritable menagerie of adorable animal-shaped tea infusers on Amazon. Seriously. Manatees, sloths, baby dinosaurs. But when it comes to a combination of cute and unique, nothing rivals a platypus. Especially platypus tea infusers. Especially when theyre called Mr. & Mrs. PlaTEApus. Come on. Just take my money already. These silicone platypi prop themselves on the edge of your tea cup and slowly infuse your favorite loose-leaf tea through tiny holes in their adorable bellies. And they come in their own gift box. I cant take it.
Snappy Amazon Review: So cute! Easy to fill and clean. So adorable! -Amazon Customer
16
This Small Plastic Stone That Fills The Room With Aromatic Humidity
via: Amazon
This small but mighty Deneve Essential Oil Diffuser and Humidifier can fill a space of up to 250 square feet with delightfully scented mist, while also putting on an ever-changing light show. Its the easy way to throw the most soothing of at-home raves.
Snappy Amazon Review: It is great. It is important to wipe it out between uses. -Torsten
More posts in #Bizarre
People Are TICKED United Banned Two Girls From Their Flight For What They Were Wearing
14 Times Leggings Made You Question Everything You Know About Fashion
20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything
16 Popular Foreign Superstitions That Make Absolutely No Sense
22 Photos That Are Guaranteed To Make You Feel a Little Awkward and Uncomfortable
17
This Showerhead and Speaker That Will Change The Way You Bathe
via: Amazon
Your bathroom karaoke game just got way more serious. Kohlers MoxieShowerhead and Wireless Speaker combines a sixty-nozzle shower head with a removable, rechargeable bluetooth speaker, allowing you to stream all of your top tunes while you steam your way to relaxation. And when the speakers lithium ion battery runs low, just pop it from its magnetic hold in the shower head and plug it into the included USB cable for a quick charge. You’ll be up and showering-singing again in no time.
Snappy Amazon Review: The only thing better than a shower beer is having a shower beer while safely gyrating to jams in the shower. -Jonathon
18
The Toilet Stool That’ll Change The Way You…Go
via: Amazon
Okay, so since it exploded on Shark Tank, the Squatty Potty hasnt exactly been an unknown quantity. But that doesnt make it any less bizarre (or useful!) of a gift. The manufacturer recommends that beginning squatters start with the 7-inch Squatty, though those limber of leg and/or well-practiced in the art of squatting can venture up to the 9-inch SP. With sales in the millions and celebrities like Howard Stern touting the effectiveness of the simple bathroom stool, its safe to say the Squatty Potty isnt a passing phase its a movement.
Snappy Amazon Review: Oh Squatty Potty, You fill me with endless joy, Yet leave me empty. -Wm.
19
The Clear Film That Turns Any Surface Into a Dry Erase Board
via: Amazon
Synergy. Leverage. Ideation. These corporate buzzwords arent just limited to conference rooms anymore. With the Think Premium Board Medium, you can have the power of the white board anywhere you please! But seriously, this 2-foot by 3-foot clear sheet adheres to almost any surface, so you can doodle, plan, outline and scheme to your hearts dry-erase delight.
Snappy Amazon Review: OMG, I absolutely love this. Just like you, i’ve been looking for a white board for productivity, goals, action steps, you name it! -Georgetowns Marketplace
20
These Magical Tooth Wipes That Hide The Fact That You’ve Been Day Drinking
via: Amazon
No longer must you choose between red wine and a white smile. These Wine Wipes pack just enough hydrogen peroxide to wipe stains away from your pearly whites, without interfering with the delicious flavor.
Snappy Amazon Review: This stuff works perfectly. -b-ran
More posts in #Bizarre
People Are TICKED United Banned Two Girls From Their Flight For What They Were Wearing
14 Times Leggings Made You Question Everything You Know About Fashion
20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything
16 Popular Foreign Superstitions That Make Absolutely No Sense
22 Photos That Are Guaranteed To Make You Feel a Little Awkward and Uncomfortable
Load Comments
from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/20-weird-but-genius-products-on-amazon-for-people-who-have-everything/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/182059588112
0 notes
allofbeercom · 6 years ago
Text
20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything
We know them, we love (most of) them: the impossible-to-buy-for people in your life. Whether its the husband who has everything, or the BFF who just doesnt want a lot of clutter around, they can make gift buying feel like a search for the holy grail.
That’s why we scoured Amazon to find fifteen of the most amazingproducts notebooks that erase themselves in the microwave, to magical pens that let you draw in three dimensions that are sure to surprise, and probably please, those hard-to-buy-for friends.
We hope you love at least one of these odd and awesome products. Just an FYI: 22Words may get a share of any sale through links on this page.
1
These Glasses That Aerate Wine On Contact So You Can Drink ASAP
via: Amazon
Wine lovers and design aficionados alike are singing the praises of these innovative wine glasses throughout their Amazon reviews. The built-in aerator lets you ditch the decanter and oxygenate your wine on contact so you can dig right into the delicious red nectar. Theyre not inexpensive, but for the type of people fancy enough to aerate their wine in the first place, its surely a paltry sum.
Snappy Amazon Review: Worth every penny. -Kimberly
2
This Beautiful Piece of Jewelry That’s A Fitness Tracker In Disguise
via: Amazon
FitBits are nice and all, but some days you dont want a big rubber band around your wrist screaming Im health conscious! to everyone you pass. Thats what makes the BellaBeat Leaf Nature Health Trackersuch a refreshing innovation. Beautiful and versatile, the BellaBeat can be worn as a necklace or bracelet, and tracks your daily steps, distance traveled and calories burned.
Snappy Amazon Review: The most low maintenance fitness tracker ever made and it’s gorgeous. -Elida Omerkic
3
This Tiny Gadget That Makes Your Car Smell Great
via: Amazon
Ditch the Febreze and get your FRiEQ on with the FRiEQ Car Air Purifier. The FRiEQ pumps three million negative ions per cubic centimeter into the air, which destroy odor causing particulates on contact, including mold, bacteria and viruses. Best of all, its powered by your cars 12V plug, so youll never run out of fresh air energy.
Snappy Amazon Review: My car certainly smells better. –Sammidee
4
These Tiny Bags of Charcoal That Drink In Odor
via: Amazon
Rescue your favorite footwear from inevitable shoe-smell with these all-natural, activated charcoal Footwear Deodorizers. And theyre not just for shoes the activated charcoal actively absorbs moisture in any situation, preventing pervasive odors and bacterial growth, so you can easily deodorize stinky refrigerators, closets and basements. They make no claims about stinky husbands, children, or coworkers however.
Snappy Amazon Review: Product works as Described, sucks all smell from shoes. -Kalpesh
…AND GETS ALL UP IN YOUR FACEBOOK
More posts in #Bizarre
People Are TICKED United Banned Two Girls From Their Flight For What They Were Wearing
14 Times Leggings Made You Question Everything You Know About Fashion
20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything
16 Popular Foreign Superstitions That Make Absolutely No Sense
22 Photos That Are Guaranteed To Make You Feel a Little Awkward and Uncomfortable
5
This Miracle Broom That Cleans Floors, Walls, Windows and More
via: Amazon
Perfect for your neat-freak friends, the Evriholder FURemover Broom’swide head of 100% natural rubber bristles to grab and trap dirt, dust, lint and pet hair with ease its even got a telescoping handle for reaching the cobwebbiest of corners. Right now its one of the most popular brooms on Amazon, and with well over 2,000 positive reviews, its not hard to see why.
Snappy Amazon Review: This thing just plain works. -Nick V.
6
This Portable Charcoal Grill That Somehow Runs on Batteries
via: Amazon
If youre not into grilling, you may not be as impressed as I am by the truly innovative Gourmia Grill. It combines the inimitable flavor of a charcoal grill with the ease of non-stick surfaces and battery-powered portability. Perfect for grilling on the patio and small enough to pack for the next tailgate, the Gourmia Grills turbo fan provides precise air control to perfectly grill dogs, burgers, steaks and more, while conserving your charcoal consumption. And that just makes sense. Dollars, and cents.
Snappy Amazon Review: Gave as gift got a hamburger and hot dog in return. -Amazon Customer
7
This Indoor Garden That Grows Herbs Even I Can’t Kill
via: Amazon
I have a few talents in life. Horticulture is not one of them. Hence my immediate attraction to the Click & Grow Indoor Smart Herb Garden. The manufacturer boasts that growing herbs is as easy as inserting the plant capsules, filling the water tank (possible sticking point), and plugging the unit in. After that, let the automatic hydration system, low-energy LED grow light and the miracle of Mother Nature work their collective magic, and watch as the herbs of your choice spring to life. Delicious, fragrant life.
Snappy Amazon Review: I would have given 5 stars if it had come with something other than just basil. That’s the only thing I’d change. -Meghan
8
This Ring Of Power That Renders Your Smartphone Undroppable
via: Amazon
Since I got one, theiRinghas saved my iPhone from countless potentially devastating smartphone injuries. The iRing attaches via ultra-strong adhesive to the back of your smartphone, giving you a solid, swiveling ring through which to thread a finger of your choice, or with which to prop up your phone for some bedside Netflixin. Oh, and dont forget the included plastic hook, onto which the iRing settles nicely for use in the car.
Snappy Amazon Review: I’m a klutz so I drop stuff all the time, and this really helps. -Lunatique
More posts in #Bizarre
People Are TICKED United Banned Two Girls From Their Flight For What They Were Wearing
14 Times Leggings Made You Question Everything You Know About Fashion
20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything
16 Popular Foreign Superstitions That Make Absolutely No Sense
22 Photos That Are Guaranteed To Make You Feel a Little Awkward and Uncomfortable
9
This Waffle Iron That’s Shaped Like a Keyboard
via: Amazon
I dont think an explanation is needed here. It’s a Keyboard Waffle Iron. Pass the syrup.
Snappy Amazon Review: Yesterday I did nothing because my keyboard was a waffle the whole time. -Leedlej
10
This Bottle Opener That Also Holds Your Child’s Fine Art
via: Amazon
There are few things more irritating than trying to track down a bottle opener when youre hankering for a cold one. Thats why no one will complain when you gift them this impossible-to-lose Master Magnetics Bottle Opener. Strong magnets keep it adhered to the beer cooler (aka, refrigerator), where it can amass an ever-growing collection of child artwork, or a collection of bottle caps so large it might force you to reevaluate your life choices.
Snappy Amazon Review: The magnets are really strong. -Edward
11
These Magical Drops That Change The Way You Taste Food
via: Amazon
MBerry Drops contain extracts from the so-called miracle fruit a mysterious berry that causes some pretty serious shifts in your taste perception. Dissolve one of these ten tablets on your tongue, and everything changes. Lemons taste like lemonade. Vinegar tastes like apple juice. Cheese tastes like frosting. You suddenly achieve the body of your dreams. Okay, were lying about that last part, but we swear these drops are the real, and somewhat freaky, deal.
Snappy Amazon Review: Yes they work. -Heart Dad
12
This Notebook That Erases Itself In The Microwave
via: Amazon
While the surveillance utility of microwave ovens has been debunked, the ability of microwaves to completely clear the Rocketbook Wave Smart Notebook of your top-secret doodles or late-night confessions is fully bunked. Seriously, this notebook erases itself in the microwave. And it even comes with a Rocketbook app which scans your work in hi-def before obliteration.
Snappy Amazon Review: I love this notebook. -ecaminos
More posts in #Bizarre
People Are TICKED United Banned Two Girls From Their Flight For What They Were Wearing
14 Times Leggings Made You Question Everything You Know About Fashion
20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything
16 Popular Foreign Superstitions That Make Absolutely No Sense
22 Photos That Are Guaranteed To Make You Feel a Little Awkward and Uncomfortable
13
This All Natural Deodorant That’s Worth Buying For The Name Alone
via: Amazon
Say it three times fast: Primal Pit Paste Deodorant. PPPD is an all-natural solution to body odor, featuring a 100% aluminum-free mixture of shea butter, arrowroot powder and baking soda for an odor fighting and soothing solution. But lets be honest, youre just buying this to give your friend something called Primal Pit Paste.
Snappy Amazon Review: 4 months later I am still using nothing but Primal Pit Paste! -Jen
14
This Pen That Lets You Sculpt Your Own New Reality Where You Made Better Choices
via: Amazon
For those of us that struggle to draw even the simplest of 3d figures, the 3Doodler Create 3D Pen is a mind-blowing game changer, allowing even the most challenged of artists to realize their visions in 3D plastic reality. Like normal 3D printers, the 3Doodler extrudes melted plastic, which dries almost instantly as you bring your vision to life whether that be a scale model of the Eiffel Tower, or a drooping mess of an attempt at a human head. Theres certainly a learning curve with the 3Doodler, but the potential for awesomeness cant be denied.
Snappy Amazon Review: My son loves this! -Dawn
15
These Platypi That Infuse Your Tea With Too Much Adorability
via: Amazon
To be fair, theres a veritable menagerie of adorable animal-shaped tea infusers on Amazon. Seriously. Manatees, sloths, baby dinosaurs. But when it comes to a combination of cute and unique, nothing rivals a platypus. Especially platypus tea infusers. Especially when theyre called Mr. & Mrs. PlaTEApus. Come on. Just take my money already. These silicone platypi prop themselves on the edge of your tea cup and slowly infuse your favorite loose-leaf tea through tiny holes in their adorable bellies. And they come in their own gift box. I cant take it.
Snappy Amazon Review: So cute! Easy to fill and clean. So adorable! -Amazon Customer
16
This Small Plastic Stone That Fills The Room With Aromatic Humidity
via: Amazon
This small but mighty Deneve Essential Oil Diffuser and Humidifier can fill a space of up to 250 square feet with delightfully scented mist, while also putting on an ever-changing light show. Its the easy way to throw the most soothing of at-home raves.
Snappy Amazon Review: It is great. It is important to wipe it out between uses. -Torsten
More posts in #Bizarre
People Are TICKED United Banned Two Girls From Their Flight For What They Were Wearing
14 Times Leggings Made You Question Everything You Know About Fashion
20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything
16 Popular Foreign Superstitions That Make Absolutely No Sense
22 Photos That Are Guaranteed To Make You Feel a Little Awkward and Uncomfortable
17
This Showerhead and Speaker That Will Change The Way You Bathe
via: Amazon
Your bathroom karaoke game just got way more serious. Kohlers MoxieShowerhead and Wireless Speaker combines a sixty-nozzle shower head with a removable, rechargeable bluetooth speaker, allowing you to stream all of your top tunes while you steam your way to relaxation. And when the speakers lithium ion battery runs low, just pop it from its magnetic hold in the shower head and plug it into the included USB cable for a quick charge. You’ll be up and showering-singing again in no time.
Snappy Amazon Review: The only thing better than a shower beer is having a shower beer while safely gyrating to jams in the shower. -Jonathon
18
The Toilet Stool That’ll Change The Way You…Go
via: Amazon
Okay, so since it exploded on Shark Tank, the Squatty Potty hasnt exactly been an unknown quantity. But that doesnt make it any less bizarre (or useful!) of a gift. The manufacturer recommends that beginning squatters start with the 7-inch Squatty, though those limber of leg and/or well-practiced in the art of squatting can venture up to the 9-inch SP. With sales in the millions and celebrities like Howard Stern touting the effectiveness of the simple bathroom stool, its safe to say the Squatty Potty isnt a passing phase its a movement.
Snappy Amazon Review: Oh Squatty Potty, You fill me with endless joy, Yet leave me empty. -Wm.
19
The Clear Film That Turns Any Surface Into a Dry Erase Board
via: Amazon
Synergy. Leverage. Ideation. These corporate buzzwords arent just limited to conference rooms anymore. With the Think Premium Board Medium, you can have the power of the white board anywhere you please! But seriously, this 2-foot by 3-foot clear sheet adheres to almost any surface, so you can doodle, plan, outline and scheme to your hearts dry-erase delight.
Snappy Amazon Review: OMG, I absolutely love this. Just like you, i’ve been looking for a white board for productivity, goals, action steps, you name it! -Georgetowns Marketplace
20
These Magical Tooth Wipes That Hide The Fact That You’ve Been Day Drinking
via: Amazon
No longer must you choose between red wine and a white smile. These Wine Wipes pack just enough hydrogen peroxide to wipe stains away from your pearly whites, without interfering with the delicious flavor.
Snappy Amazon Review: This stuff works perfectly. -b-ran
More posts in #Bizarre
People Are TICKED United Banned Two Girls From Their Flight For What They Were Wearing
14 Times Leggings Made You Question Everything You Know About Fashion
20 Weird But Genius Products On Amazon For People Who Have Everything
16 Popular Foreign Superstitions That Make Absolutely No Sense
22 Photos That Are Guaranteed To Make You Feel a Little Awkward and Uncomfortable
Load Comments
from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/20-weird-but-genius-products-on-amazon-for-people-who-have-everything/
0 notes