#i will burn in this fire forever
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y’all, lemme tell you something about my rarepair, my absolute number one OTP, the ship i will go down with, my i-would-die-for-them even now, 24 days into the year of our lord 2023.
it’s not even about the show, and it hasn’t been for like 20 years now. it’s about the all-encompassing chokehold that two of the characters from this show have had on me since i was about 13 years old. that’s when it started and it hasn’t let me go. better than that, the pairing itself is a complete fabrication, totally built up inside my head and fleshed out by years and years of over-analyzation and inventing things that, objectively, are not there. the maintext of it all is pretty clear but i have a special knack for pulling anything and everything i want out of the subtext. i see what i want to see and i live happily in my little state of delusion.
here’s the kicker: when i say the maintext is clear, i mean it. these characters were not, in any way or by any stretch of the imagination, written with the intention to give off romantic vibes. truly, they weren’t. this show, in all its cheesy (and arguably cringey) glory, was one of the highest rated family-friendly, positivity-focused shows of the 90s. it was the height of the “clean, uplifting, and inspirational” era of network television, with very strong christian undertones.
the show? touched by an angel. the characters?
these two.
yes, these two. characters with one very clear purpose, which is to be on earth to help human beings and spread the message of gods love to the world.
pairing them???? absolutely asinine of me, and yet … here i am, still burning in this fire years and years later. i would die for them. specifically, i would die for my version of them. and i probably will not ever be able to fully explain my adoration or remember what it was that triggered this shift in my young brain or what made me say, “yes, this is what we’re doing now. this is where we live.”
i don’t use the word chokehold lightly. i can spend hours watching bits and pieces of scenes, re-analyzing dialogue, and spilling my thoughts and theories to the one friend i have that also shares this mildly humiliating addiction. thank god for her and thank god for the far corners of the internet. i have written (and read) some very -ahem- unholy fic. and i’ll keep doing it kids. this is a forever kind of thing.
this post is a confession but it’s also a plea for more friends. me and my one friend, we can’t be the only ones out there, right? i know there are others because our fanfic stats tell me so. i see you. i know you’re there. step into the light and be my friend, i beg.
#touched by an angel#tbaa#andrew and monica#rarepair#otp#i will die on this hill#i will die on this fucking hill#i will burn in this fire forever#they are in love#i am in love with them being in love#name two characters who should be having lots of slutty sex LESS i will wait#i have been in this chokehold for 20 years#unintentional my ass#sorry not even remotely sorry#are you fucking kidding me
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[ID: Several drawings of Calvin Wright, Tenebrosum, Arthur Lester, and John Doe. There are a few portraits of Calvin and Tenebrosum alone, and a few others of Calvin and Arthur kissing or otherwise intimate together. More detailed ID in ALT.]
FINALLY posting this on a random monday, here are some of my drawings from @croik 's Arkam Horror/Malevolent Crossover series that has made me category 10 unwell for months. I absolutely recommend this series, it's hot, it's got just a Delightful dynamic of jarthur x another possessed traumatized guy and his Personal Horror, it's got a plot so good it could be its own arc of the show, and also, its got The Horrors!!! give it up for the horrors everyone
Genuinely I have been SO obsessed with this series and ESPECIALLY their characters of Calvin and Tenebrosum. Thank you op for writing over 100k for these guys, i need to inject them into my brain. Calvin and Escuridão specifically are like catnip to me i WILL be rereading this many more times
#malevolent#mossy art#accessible art#calvin wright#described#id in alt#arthur lester#magnum tenebrosum#i LOVE tenebrosum so much their identity thing is sooo cool and they are also so SILLY. hot silly creature. in love#john and escuridao are SO GOOD TOO and calvin and joao..... his whole thing with fire.... i will not burn....#10/10 concept. it took me forever to actually finish the fic bc i was so sad that this is the only calvin content out there whflskjdf#i actually do have one chapter left i think bc i didnt want it to end so bad lmao#malevolent fanfiction#malevolent fanfic#fanfic rec#fic rec#sorry for posting this at 11pm on labor day. idk either i keep forgetting so its going live now. bye
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FOR A BEAT OF HEART, THE BREATH IS SHOT. AND WITHIN A BREATH, THE HEART IS CAUGHT. THE PIPES ARE BURSTING, UNDER GREAT STRESS, BOLTS TORN ASUNDER, MAKING A MESS. A FINAL COUGH, A FINAL RETCH, A GOREY SLOUGH, CLAIMED BY WRETCH.
#cw gore#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#chip jrwi#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#I LLOOOVE POETRYYY I LOVE MAKING WORDS RHYME IN STRANGE WAYS AND DESCRIBING VISCERA AND VIOLENCE OR WAHTEVER. YKNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE#CHHHIIIIIIIBBOOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL MAAANN WWHAT. WHAT HAPPENED. OH MY GOD. IVE BEEN SAYING FOREVER. I NEEED CHIP TO GET SCARIER.#HE HAS THE POTENTIAL! I KNOW HE DOES! HAUNTED BOY WITH THE HAUNTED EYES WHAT TRAUMAS HAVE YOU SEEN? AND WERE THEY YOUR FAULT? THINK ABOUT I#EVERY FAMILY HAS CRUMBLED AROUND HIM. HIS BIRTH FAMILY CRUMBLED BEFORE HE KNEW IT. HIS SECOND FAMILY DROWNED. THIRD BURNED TO THE GROUND#AND SHALL THIS NEXT FAMILY JOIN THEM? CHIIIIP YOU UNFORTUNATE BOY YOU HAVE WITNESSED SO MUCH CALAMITY#YOU ARE CALAMITY BOYYY AHAHAHAHA DONT YOU SEEE!! ZOMBIFIED AND DEAD. TRUELY MORE HAUNTED THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS WILL BE FUN#THE FIRE HURTS WHEN IT BURNS TOO LONG. BUT NOW YOUR NERVES ARE DEAD AND YOUR MIND IS FREE. BURN THIS CORPSE AS YOU WISH TO GET WHAT YOU WAN#CHIP IS NOT THE FIRE HE IS THE MATCH. I LOVE THAT IDEA SO MUCH IM SO PROUD OF IT. OHHH AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CORRUPTION#bizly mentioned that chip wants to be a good captain. in his most corrupted state however. he would be the BEST captain..#thAT DOESNT MEAn hes gonna just suddenly be all controlling. the BEST captain keeps his crew safe. keeps them together. keeps them alive.#and chip is doing just that! he doesnt need to stop being a good captain just bc of the corruption! he just needs to be the BEST CAPTAIN#AND THATS SUBJECTIVE BABY!! im so excited to see where chips zombie arc goes. neeeed him to get scarier and just a little more fucked up.#neEED HIM TO PERFORM ABHORANT ACTIONS THAT HAVE JAY N GILL GOING ' dude woah what the fuck...'#RIGHT I SHOULD TALK ABT MY ART TOO. this one took TOO LONGGGstarted out witha sketch how did it end up like this...#the heart and the blood KILLED ME. LOOK AT MY RENDERING LIKE HWAAATT#better not see any more mistakes after i post this.... i cant fight withit anymore....STILL RLY PROUD THO..#I WAnted to make it visually LOOK like the grossest vomiting sound possible#i want it to make your throat feel uncomfortable. am i achieving that? i hope i am. thats tubes dude!!! like cmahn!
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burning blaze compilation
this year ^^^
and then last year below…
+ somethin stupid
#my art#lined paper art#sonic fanart#sth#sth fanart#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#silver the hedgehog#blaze the cat#amy rose#burning blaze#blazamy#blazeamy#amaze#i love drawing the fire sm i need to get better at it#blaze girl i love u forever#got some crazy style fluctuations in this batch tbh
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car seat headrest ‘this sucks so bad 😂’ to ‘this sucks so bad 😐’ pipeline claims another victim
#I WISH I WAS SOBER I CANT GET UP OFF THE GROUND ROUND ROUND ROUND ROUND#KEEP SMOKING I LOVE YOU KEEP SMOKING I STILL LOVE YOU BUT I DONT WANNA DIE I DONT WANNA DIE I DONT WANNA DIE#HELL IS THE SUN BURNING FOREVER AT THE CENTRE OF THINGS A BALL OF FIRE AT THE CENTRE OF THINGS A BRAIN ON FIRE AT THE CENTRE OF THINGS#I CANT TURN THIS THING OFF IT KEEPS FOLLOWING ME USED TO BE SO HUMAN NOW ITS JUST A MACHINE#AND I LOVE HER. AT LEAST I DID. BUT I DID BELIEVE IN HER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#whatever man WHATEVERRRRRRR#car seat headrest
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My Accolades
#not art#this is actually maybe not Super Plausible if the cannons are actually old school style lmao.#they often used a long matchstick thing that burns a Lot slower than usual. thats where ''fire in the hole'' came from#what I imagine and kinda force it to work is riz flicks the embers from his cig into the vent. and thats a hot enough fire to light a canno#I know Ive been here for uhhhh ten seconds but u guys must know what my deal is by now lmao. its like this forever#anyways its cool so it has to be real. that boy was Aiming AND Lighting those things all by himself. he was doing some insane stunts#to get that to work he weighs like five pounds soaking wet and you Know those cannons are not securely latched down#gods to think of it. that means kristen and k2 were risking it all for real hanging out on the gunner deck#it truly is Big Bill Hell's Ship out here Im so sorry girls. Im so sorry kristen#Im so sorry k2........#anyways if u ask me how this works 1/it just does 2/shut up 3/dont talk to me ok? ok#My Accolades. I get to have this
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Don't sleep, Xiaoyao. I'm begging you. I'm sorry. It was my fault. I shouldn't have left you. No matter what, I shouldn't have left you. I was too greedy to give up my status as Tushan Jing. Xiaoyao, please. Open your eyes and look at me. I'm your Shiqi. Xiaoyao, I only want to be your Ye Shiqi. Didn't we agree that I'll be with you forever? You can't abandon me. Wherever you go, I'll follow you.
#lost you forever#cdramaedit#yang zi#deng wei#xiaoyao#tushan jing#wen xiaoliu#ye shiqi#cdramagifs#cdrama: lost you forever#fire cw#burns cw#injury cw#blood cw#death cw#i thought this show already broke me enough but i was wrong#this scene shattered me entirely#how he protected her dead body and was willing to burn and die with her#also for anyone reading the tags it's not actually his fault#he had to go take care of family matters so he meant it was his fault as in he wasn't there to protect her#jina makes gifs#jinaLostYouForevergifs
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Cellbit trying so hard to stay level headed and rational and keep shit together, but when Hombre Misterioso comes in with some fuck shit, and he’s not sure if he’s only hearing him inside his head, his response is basically ‘I can and I will out crazy you without hesitation’. He’s like I have done fucked up shit before and I will do it again if you give me an excuse I swear to god. He’s like I’m level headed and reasonable right now with rigid self control, but if you give me a single reason I will kill us both
#Cellbit on his last thread like I can and I will snap and make this your biggest mistake yet jfjskfkd#he’s like lol if you’re really in my head you picked the wrong guy. good luck have fun#Cellbit who is so aware he is capable of just going fucking off the walls like haha! one more thing and I will go off willingly and it will#have repercussions you wouldn’t have even dreamed of :)#pac walking on eggshells but also needing to rely on Cellbit while helping forever like ‘man isn’t it fucked up were the most stable rn’#he’s very like ‘I’ll light myself on fire to burn you’ kinda energy yknow what I mean#Cellbit a reformed cannibalistic murderer like I have had a fresh start I am a changed man. be careful tho#idk it’s all. his character sure is something lmao#mcyt#qsmp#Cellbit#z speaks
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i'm glad we get to see alicent being a bitch in hotd. i'm glad she makes comments about rhaenyra's sons. i'm glad she plots and schemes behind viserys's back. i'm fucking delighted we don't see another woman in media submitting to the injustices she suffers with a smile.
#in honor of the anon hate i got for supporting her today#ik i said i hate this fandom#but sometimes u toss fuel to a fire to watch it burn#anyway#alicent hightower defense squad#forever and always#pro alicent hightower#team green#[not really but i'll say it for alicent]#house of the dragon#hotd#anti team black stans
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has anyone considered henry possessing glamrock freddy or am i being a little silly right now
#although for one of you the darkest pit of hell has opened to swallow you whole#so don't keep the devil waiting old friend#henry being glamrock freddy makes sense to me#“my friends are down here” william? william afton? old friend?#and if we consider the henry suicide robot thing canon#maybe just maybe#henry “survived” pizzaria simulator#reinstated fazbears as a corporate entity#hired the indie developer#idk where he would stand on the glitchtrap thing but he was shown to be a little silly in he books? maybe he thought afton was fully gone#and was trying to destroy the last parts of him that remained#he realized vanessa was being recruited by afton and set up the pizzaplex#he built the glamrocks? by contextual evidence it makes sense for michael to have built the glamrocks#given the glamrocks similarities to the funtimes including freddys stomach hatch (remember funtime freddy's stomach hatch?)#so if we're saying that michael built the glamrocks then michael wouldve had to have survived pizzaria simulator#which means somewhere along the line they fucked up#and considering that theres roughly 40 years between the bite of 83 and pizzaria simulator#that would mean that henry is like 70 when he burns down freddy fazbears pizza place?#i doubt any rickety ass 70 year old is going#like btw that was a badass line#but henry would be too old for that shit💀#so if we just take henrys suicide animatronic (named baby but probably meaning a baby version of charlie(the og book trilogy))#so what if he got remnant in him when he killed himself and therefore was stuck alive#so he and michael could have plausibly survived pizzasim because of the remnant they were trying to burn away#bc if remnant survived the fnaf3 fire why wouldnt it survive the pizzasim fire?#so saying that henry killed himself around 2000 leaves him at ~50 forever#he couldve also killed himself around 1996 after opening fnaf 2 closing fnaf 2 and reopening/reclosing fnaf 1#leaving him ~45 forever#doesnt matter the year it just matters that hes already dead before pizzaria simulator and after fnaf1 and fnaf2 events#not to mention with william dead around 1993 henry wouldve been the one managing circus baby's entertainment and rentals
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i can feel...... the mental illness...... clawing its way into the forefront of my mind........
#touched a Bad object saw another Bad object realized that nothing and noone is safe saw someone coigh into their hands and not wash them at#school today im going to die. i feel SICK this whole house is INFECTED and i cant fix it without everyone leaving forever i need to set all#my shit on fire and set everyone else's shit on fire and i need to destory my sister's shoes they make me want to die seeing them makes me#feel fucking crazyyyy i hate them so much theyre evil she has so many shoes but she wears the Bad ones all the time i think i actually will#find a way to get rid of them and ough i need to vacuum but yhe vacuum is dirty bc it was last used in a Bad room and i need to clean the#bathroom but i feel like im gonna tear my skin off and i need everyone out of the house so i can fix everything but i never get the house#empty and the garage the fucking garage i fucking hate the garage i had to do laundry today and the washer n dryer are in the#garage and the garage is so Bad and dirty so im bad and dirty and i need to take a shower but even when i get out of the shower i can never#be clean because this whole house is fucking infected but u can never get it empty the properly clean it we have too many cats too many ppl#too much stuff i need to burn this place to the ground i need to BLOW IT UP WITH MY MIND#vent#to delete later
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!!! FLASHING LIGHTS WARNING!!! [IM NOT FUCKIN AROUND!!]
REACHED THE CUSP OF 'THIS MAY NEVER BE ABSOLUTELY FINISHED N IF I DONT SHOW IT NOW, IT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.' SO HERE, A PROJECT IVE BEEN ORBITING AROUND UHH SINCE 2021 OR SO.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#cw flashing lights#LOOORRD OF LIGHTNING SAAAAVE ME!!!!#RAAAHHHH I LOVETHIS SONG SO FUCKIN MUCH AND I LOVE GILLION SO FUCKIN MUCH RAAHHHH!! RAAHHHH!!!#BUT YES YES I HAD LIKE A WHOLE OTHER HALF TO THIS SKETCHED OUT BUT IT WONT FINISH COOKIN FOR A MILLION YEAARS!!!!#MAYBE SOMEDAY.....#ANYWAY. this is my first time actually syncing audio to my animations. normally i domnt know howww.#i animated it all in fire alpaca AND THEN i mixed everything in a pirated movie maker. it kinda uh. sucks. but its WHAT I GOT BAYBE!!#i relaly like how i animate swishy hair... i was inspird by eris from sinbad. i can only HOPE i got on that level w the watery flowyness#LIUGHTNING IS HARD TO ANIMATE TOO. I WATCHED ALOTTA VIDEOS ABSORBED MINIMAL TUTORIALS AND UHH I THINK I DID OKAY!!#better than bad!!! but i can still do better. eventually. ugh. FLASHING LIGHTS TOO HUH? U LIKE ANIMATINGB FLASHING LIGHT?#U LIKE MAKING THE BLACK N WHITE FLICKER RLY FAST UNTIL UR EYES BLEED OUT UR SKULL?? YEAAAHH YOU DO!!!#im also vry proud o the title cards i made at the beginning teheheheh. dependign on where riptide goes i MIGHT change it#BUT HEY THEORY TIME? I HOPE ONE OF THE GODDESSES COMES DOWN TO PILOT GILLIONS BODY SO THEY CAN BEAT THE FUCK OUT O THE OTHER GODDESS#WHO IS ALSO IN SOMEONE ELSES MORTAL BODY. GODS COMING DOWN TO WREAK HAVOC OVER PETTY DISAGREEMENTS OOOGH HOW FUN!!#GOOD ON YOU CHAMPION!! YOUR VESSEL HAS BEEN TRAINED TO BE STRONG AND HARDY. PERFECT FOR CHANNELING DIVINE ENERGY.#OHHHH WHAT A PERFECT WEAPON YOU ARE. NOW GO AND IMMANENTIZE A WATERY ESCHATON#PARAGON OF OCEANS WRATH I WANT TO SEE YOU DROWN THE LAND. DESTROY!!! EAT!!! BURN!!! RAAAGHH I NEED GILLION TO GET MORE POWER!!!!#ALSO in other news i uh. actually posted this onto twitter forever ago but forgot to post it here bc i can only post it from pc and BABY!!#IM NOT ON THE COMPUTER OFTEN! NOT ANYMORE!! NOT ANYMOREE!!! IM FREE BAYBE!! i used to be so miserable. sometimes i think abt that.#ANYWAY. pls enjoy. just this much took so long. i love makin the lil guys move.... ouh.... hava good day if u get the chance to.
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Boots crunched in hay, and then he was knee to knee before her.
Aedion.
There was nothing kind on his face. No pity or warmth.
For a long minute, they only stared at each other.
Then the prince growled softly, "Your plan was bullshit."
She said nothing, and couldn't stop her shoulders from curving inward.
"Your plan was bullshit," he breathed, his eyes sparking. "How could you ever be her, wear her skin, and think to get away with it? How could you ever think you'd get around the fact that our armies are counting on you to burn the enemy to ashes, and all you can do is run away and emerge as some beast instead?"
"You don't get to pin this retreat on me," she rasped. The first words she'd spoken in days and days.
"You agreed to let Aelin go to her death, and leave us here to be slashed to bloody ribbons. You two told no one of this plan, told none of us who might have explained the realities of this war, and that we would need a gods-damned Fire-Bringer and not an untrained, useless shape-shifter against Morath."
Blow after blow, the words landed upon her weary heart. "We—"
"If you were so willing to let Aelin die, then you should have let her do it after she incinerated Erawan's hordes!"
"It would not have stopped Maeve from capturing her."
"If you'd told us, we might have planned differently, acted differently, and we would not be here, damn you!"
She stared at the muddy hay. "Throw me out of your army, then."
"You ruined everything." His words were colder than the wind outside. "You, and her."
Lysandra closed her eyes.
Hay rustled, and she knew he'd risen to his feet, knew it as his words speared from above her bowed head. "Get out of my tent."
She wasn't certain she could move enough to obey, though she wished to. Needed to. Fight back. She should fight back. Rage at him as he lashed at her, needing an outlet for his fear and despair.
Lysandra opened her eyes, peering up at him. At the rage on his face, the hatred She managed to stand, her body bleating in pain. Managed to look him in the eye, even as Aedion said again with quiet cold, "Get out."
Barefoot in the snow, naked beneath her cloak. Aedion glanced at her bare legs, as if realizing it. And not caring.
So Lysandra nodded, clutching Ansel's cloak tighter, and strode into the frigid night.
"Where is she?" Ren asked, a mug of what smelled like watery soup in one hand, a chunk of bread in the other. The lord scanned the tent as if he would find her under the cot, the hay.
Aedion stared at the precious few logs burning in the brazier, and said nothing.
"What have you done?" Ren breathed.
Everything was about to end. Had been doomed since Maeve had stolen Aelin. Since his queen and the shifter had struck their agreement.
So it didn't matter, what he'd said. He hadn't cared if it wasn't fair, wasn't true.
Didn't care if he was so tired he couldn't muster shame at his pinning on her the blame for the sure defeat they'd face in a matter of days before Perranth's walls.
He wished she'd smacked him, had screamed at him. But she had let him rage. And had walked out into the snow, barefoot.
He'd promised to save Terrasen, to hold the lines. Had done so for years. And yet this test against Morath, when it had counted ... he had failed.
He’d muster the strength to fight again. To rally his men. He just ... he needed to sleep.
Aedion didn't notice when Ren left, undoubtedly in search of the shifter with who he was so damned enamored.
He should summon his Bane commanders. See how they thought to manage this disaster.
But he couldn't. Could do nothing but stare into that fire as the long night passed.
#Chapter 34#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Aedion Ashryver#Lysandra Ennar#no spoilers please#first read#read with me#read along#more tags more spoilers below and above warned#the magic thread - if only there was Aelin - the fire - what the sky shows - he had failed - retreat and live fight and die - to Perranth#the sound of shields is giving infinity war vibes and while I try to stay a little optimistic even I must admit things are getting sticky#the Crown Prince splattered with blood both red and black. — Manorian I’ll bleed whatever color you tell me to lol — the Thealis reference#Ashryver eyes dim — okay that one hurt — I will follow you cousin however this may end but we cannot keep this up not — to whatever end#Where is the Queen? Where is her Fire? but if the Firebringer fought without flame they would know — She has run away. AGAIN.#asking why Aelin of the Wildfire did not burn away their enemies Did not at least give them light by which to fight. Ok but I luv Wyvern Lys#Two Silent Assassins noticed on the second night that the dead soldier still lay on Lysandra's back. — a line that broke me#They treated her with kindness nonetheless. No one made to reach for the lone horse — Aedion should’ve been there should’ve been kind to her#Even the Queen of the Wastes was pale her wine-red hair plastered to her head beneath the dirt and blood. —no ur plan was bullshit#he’s not speak to her it’s him to him-You don't get to pin this retreat on me she rasped. The first words she'd spoken in days and days.#She wasn't certain she could move enough to obey though she wished to. Needed to. Fight back. Rage at him as he lashed at her. but she knew#he knew it and he’s wishing she’d punish him for it but she didn’t#Barefoot in the snow naked beneath her cloak. Aedion glanced at her bare legs as if realizing it. And not caring.#So Lysandra nodded clutching Ansel's cloak tighter and strode into the frigid night. — this chapter hurt me — I’m with Ren WHERE IS SHE#Aedion stared at the precious few logs burning in the brazier and said nothing… well not nothing & braziers double haunts me forever#Everything was about to end. Had been doomed since Maeve had stolen Aelin. Since his queen and the shifter had struck their agreement.#So it didn't matter what he'd said. He hadn't cared if it wasn't fair wasn't true… mmm no those words mattered they were awful#why must we repeat HoF mistakes per ship#He wished she'd smacked him had screamed at him But she had let him rage. And had walked out into the snow barefoot#soon — they will come soon — they ghost leopard dis not falter — the Crochans and Rolfe and ugh so many people just need to show up soon
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thinking before i drift into melatonin trazodone hazed sleep that i am bad at small talk because i don’t do much and the things i have done i don’t remember. my head is always so cavernous and i don’t have the luxury of visualizing my ideas or thoughts, always living in the moment or agonizing over the anxieties of the future
#lamenting lamenting lamenting my aphantasia and rigid autism mind#black and white forever#black in the head and only ever the thoughts reading themselves aloud#as one does a book.#i wish i could be more creative#but the fires do not burn anymore#it will probably be years again until it sparks#but it is lonely without the creative flames to guide my hand
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#very good to see this question being adressed finally since it's the only thing i've been talking about for the past two episodes!!#also ugh. nothing makes me more stressed out than this eternal (eternal since episode 3) question of#whether or not beato is putting on a facade. or something in between. i'm not even joking it makes me SO upset#though i figure at this point i just gotta go ahead and put my hand near the fire hoping it doesn't burn me. which is what i want to do#cause i think i'd rather make a fool of myself (again) than to be forever in deep mistrust of everything. who lives like that?!#without love it cannot be seen i guess?? lmao now i'm just saying whatever but yeah i don't think this is a story that's#insincere and cynical at it's core so. obviously i will think as well lol use my head but yeah. you know what i mean#in any case my clown hat will be ready. ughh it's all lambdadelta's fault#anyways changing the subject completely. remember when beato called herself furniture in the balcony scene#that was so funny of her wasn't it 🥴#umineko spoilers#umineko liveblog
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NOT okay right now im thinking abt pokemon leaving scars on their trainers + everyday, domestic problems.....
#this is abt my top gun au btw <3333 which will forever haunt me even though im less likely to write it everyday </3333#like.....getting thin scars from rowlet as a kid which have now all basically faded to time#(though the ones gained as a teen from dartrix can still be seen)#while in the other hand always having angry red scratches along both arms because hes always holding up rufflet who fights like no tomorrow#(believe me; its better to hold him up and take the damage than put him down and let rufflet pick a fight with someone)#OR like....getting electrical burns because elekid doesnt know how to control its discharge yet. and the scars that stay bc of that#(which tbh is an ash + pikachu thing i would love to see)#or how one accidental poison jab from toxicroak will leave you utterly sick for days#(like serious he should probably go to a hospital or smth) and toxi just has the biggest saddest puppy dog eyes in existence it feels so ba#(its fine this has happened before he'll be fine. probably)#bruisings on your shins bc pawmot punches your legs to grab your attention or to get smth it wants....#rooms always being like ten to twenty degrees colder (or even more) when he has his ice pokemon out for whatever reason...#the reverse of that with fire types..... ough...#having to BEG flygon not to fly rn bc it starts a sandstorm every fucking time and it does it anyway#(PLEASE i took you out of your ball to eat dinner why cant yiu behave this one time)#and then dragonair fixing it to be clear skies again.....the never ending cycle....#any trainer who have pokemon that start sandstorm needing a pair of safety goggles for when they battle#(maybe even bringing a spare just in case or--if theyre kind enough--for their opponent to wear so they can see too)#dont even get me started on mythical pokemon interacting with the tg characters.....#anyway tried to stay as vague as possible for the characters lolol#bergmite is just a lil guy who wants to be carried around like all the other small 'mons....i am so sorry sweetie you are over 200 pounds#you cannot be perched on your trainers shoulder like someone else's rufflet can#having ice burns bc froslass tried to freeze him.....#anyway. can you tell i love pokemon#sorry to anyone who sees this in the pokemon tag </333#delete later#i feel like im begging on my knees for someone to ask abt my au....but also if they did id die of embarrassment from answering it...#the pros and cons of having a dumb little au </3#sigh maybe one day i'll write a fic... (<-keeps saying it but has written nothing for it (yet))
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