#i will be surprised if he doesnt say ' thats not me'
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i cannot even describe to you guys how roier picking that song for qroier completely rewired my brain because it is so so painfully accurate to qroier in that moment
like lets break down the lyrics okay?
“i miss you more than ever and i don’t know what to do. i wake up and i remember you at sunrise. i wait another day to live without you. the mirror doesnt lie, i look so different. i’m missing you.”
already off the top wow. we immediately understand what qroier is feeling and i think the mirror line really hits because obviously he was looking like a fucking mess without cellbit so its all very accurate. also i cannot translate that last line “me haces falta tú” that really conveys the longing and sadness it signifies. its missing someone but in the way of saying like you’re missing them as a part of your life to live or as a piece of you like you’re missing them so you’re struggling to function.
“people come and go its always the same. the rhythm of life seems wrong. it was so different when you were here. yes, it was so different when you were here.”
people come and go reminds me of qroier talking about the eggs and the other islanders. people come and go But you were different. without cellbit everything is just wrong for qroier.
“there is nothing more difficult then living without you. im suffering in the wait of watching you return. the chills of my body ask for you. and i dont know where you are. if you hadn’t left me, i’d be so happy.”
i mean perhaps the most devastating part which isnt surprising as its the chorus which he repeats. i cannot put into words how life changing of a pick this song was for a cubito? for qroier? for mcrp of a queer relationship? THERE IS NOTHING MORE DIFFICULT THEN LIVING WITHOUT YOU? immediately we understand again what qroier is feeling hes very bluntly telling us. thats what makes doied saying he was fine without cellbit even more gut wrenching because cellbit never understood how fucking broken and unfunctional roier was without him. he struggled to fucking live. IM SUFFERING IN THE WAIT OF WATCHING YOU RETURN? every day cellbit was gone for roier it felt like hell. which is devastating cause as we know cellbit was under the perception that roier could finally be happy without him meanwhile roier is barely making it through the day having to take care of a new kid with reminders everywhere of his husband that left him behind. he is anything but happy. THE CHILLS OF MY BODY ASK FOR YOU? screaming. he misses his touch he yearns for his body warmth. do you think when he laid in their bed at the castle it felt as cold as ice? do you think he clung to cellbits side of the bed hoping to feel even just a fraction of the warmth and comfort he felt sleeping by cellbits side months prior? much to think about. AND I DONT KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? he’s again searching for him so desperately we saw the attempts qroier was trying his fucking best cause he made a promise to his husband and it was interrupted sadly. but i think the line of just saying i dont know where you are makes the song and the moment even sadder. all this talk of suffering without a person and you dont even know where they are right now. very accurate for qroier! IF YOU HADNT LEFT ME I’D BE SO HAPPY? no words just no words. you can suffer in agony with me in this one. think about it for a second and cry. no words.
does anyone ever think of spiderbit and how in love qroier was
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I know buck was weirded out by the fact that tommy and abby was engaged. I mean who wouldnt? That's a crazy twist. But I got a feeling that buck was bothered by it because tommy had hurt abby. Almost like he still care about her and feel protective over her and angry at tommy for hurting her. I know he loved her and maybe still care about her, but that just seem weird to me. At the restaurant scene when tommy said he was engaged and almost married a women, buck looked surprised seems understanding about it. When tommy said abby took a himbo half her age, buck just responded by saying she maybe did that to get tommy out of her system. He didnt even mad at tommy and seems to be on his side. But when tommy said it was abby clark and buck realised who it was, he got shocked which is understable. And then he told maddie. And said that tommy led abby on and hurt her. And buck thought he knew tommy and never thought tommy would be that cruel. But he only feel that way when he found out the women was abby. So I wonder if he would react the same way if the women wasnt abby? Based on his reaction before tommy mention her name he doesnt seem to care about it. I dont know. To me it looks like he still care about abby which is ok but like he cares more about her than tommy when he is actually dating tommy in the present. I dont know maybe I'm wrong but I just feel weird about it. Actually all the scenes was weird in this episode.
I really dont like buck flirting with that women in the restaurant. I mean tommy was there and watching. Its so rude. And then the convo about women and abby. And then the scene with maddie and josh. Another thing thats weird to me. Why buck was so suprised and hurt on abby's behave for what tommy did? I know what tommy did is not right, but tommy used to be a closeted gay men when he was younger. We all know that and so does buck. He was probably spend most of his life being in the closet than out. Which means he probably had girlfriends in the past and hook up with guys in secret. Like most all closeted gays do at the time?. I mean I know this is 2024 but buck is not a teenager. He's young but not that young. He's what, 30, 33? I'm 30 and even I know how hard it was for the gays in the past. A lot of them hiding in the closet meaning they maybe had girlfriends and even wife. Even I know and understand why they had to do that. And buck doesnt and got angry about it? And what the hell about that speech about post glee stuff. I know a lot of people like it but its not my favourite. It just seems cheezy and frankly unnecesarry because a man at buck's age should've known all that stuff already.
It seems like buck had build up a perfect image of tommy in his mind. His first impression of tommy is that he's so cool and feel threatened by him which turn out to be a crush. And he look up to tommy and admired him which is cute and all. But then he saw this flaw of tommy and he got dissapointed. I think he should know that not everyone is perfect not even tommy. But its not good to have that kind of high expectation to anyone, even your own partner. They gonna have flaws and weakness.
Making buck asking tommy to move in after all that knowledge about abby and gay history is another weird move. How come he got that idea after all that. Another thing to blame the writers about. Not to mention making tommy feels like that is the end of their relationship. He could have just said it was too soon which it is. It is too soon and clearly tommy is not ready for it. A lot of couple survive through that. Its not a marriage proposal. Most doesnt work out after a rejection of proposal but this is not it. They could've work it out. Its like the writers in ep 5 is totally different from ep 6. I have read a lot of fanfiction that are a lot better than this mess of storyline.
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Short Moderate Length List of Small(ish) Things I Appreciate About The Wettening
Dib being conspicuously absent from the opening pan of the classroom, only to cartoon-teleport into existence at Zim’s desk the second Zim starts expressing mild apprehension at the sight of unfamiliar weather. This kid spends his time just hanging around staring at Zim, waiting for him to show the slightest sign of discomfort, confusion, or unease in order to immediately taunt him about it—and the surrounding chaos, if anything, is just an opportunity to come watch even more closely. We all already knew this, but it still kills me to see it in action.
Also, he’s animated popping up from below, and like… were we meant to interpret this as him just chilling underneath Zim’s desk? No, absolutely not—but is it funny (and, to add to the hilarity, miraculously somehow not completely unbelievable within the context of the show) to imagine that he was? Yes. Yes it is.
Zim confidently walking out into a downpour he has already confirmed to be acidic just because Dib implicitly dared him to—no one’s looking, Dib hasn’t even said anything or made a claim against his humanity, Zim just can’t stand to give Dib the satisfaction of seeing him vulnerable or afraid of something (which backfires pretty spectacularly, since I’m pretty sure ‘writhing on the ground shrieking in indescribable agony’ is a significantly worse look in terms of appearing vulnerable, but all’s well that ends in Victory For Zim, I guess).
Also Zim's little baffled gesture right beforehand like he's silently asking Dib to confirm he's not hallucinating the rain dance (he does not receive an answer)
Gaz presumably seeing Zim sneaking up behind her brother, saying nothing and making no reaction that’ll tip Dib off… only to immediately be made to regret her choices when she gets caught in another splash. Shows her for trusting Zim to be at least a little bit cool about tormenting Dib (honestly, we see her exact fitting justice on Dib at the end of the episode, but I cannot imagine she wasn't still planning to do something equally petty to Zim).
The faucet drip scene and the underlying awareness that this is just what Zim and Dib do to each other during class. Every day. It is, in fact, probably one of the least disruptive forms their constant warfare takes on a routine basis. Suddenly I understand a little bit of why their entire class hates them.
Also Dib’s happy face while he's terrorizing Zim into a shell-shocked stupor is absurdly cute and heartwarming. If I cropped that picture no one would ever guess what he's smiling about. This kid? A sadist? Impossible.
“I don’t even feel good about winning this one,” and it's said with his hands clasped together, practically vibrating with glee, his expression vaguely reminiscent of a teenager in the throes of hormonal infatuation (the hypothetical object in this case not so much being Zim himself as a personified abstraction of Zim’s suffering). If someone hit him with the Return of Keef happy goo in this exact moment, I am completely certain it would kill him. His statement is only true insofar that a more accurate term for his current state of being would probably be euphoric. I take back everything I���ve ever said about Zim being unreasonable in this episode—he was merciful.
Also this face the moment Zim gets up and starts threatening him. Zim still isn't even all that intimidating at the moment, but Dib knows he just fucked up. Maybe he's getting flashbacks to Dark Harvest.
Dib’s ridiculous water balloon device. Seriously. I feel like it gets (reasonably) overshadowed by the sheer absurdity of Zim’s entire operation, but it really is so amazingly stupid and pointless in a way that is… not dissimilar to the ultimate Irken water balloon. Not only is it really not necessary for the task it's meant to accomplish, it's actively detrimental in that it slows Dib down, blatantly telegraphs his attacks, and reduces accuracy by a significant degree. The only actual benefits I can think of would be the exponential increase in force and range and the instant accessibility of a water supply—the former of which is totally unnecessary in this scenario and the latter being possible to accomplish with a much simpler device (or even just… a water tank). To summarize, it is an incredibly impressive feat of both skill and creativity in design that is also completely and utterly useless! Which is just the perfect demonstration of what I mean when I say Dib really does share nearly all of Zim’s flaws, just to a less obviously ridiculous degree—he comes off just calm and clever enough to pass as moderately reasonable at a glance, and in some ways, that makes him more of a potential flight risk than Zim. At least that's a lunatic you see coming.
Irkens are collapsible, apparently
#invader zim#zim#dib#gaz#meta#just a little#my meta#iz posting#zadp#natterings#for the record i am not unaware of the irony in saying zims the lunatic you see coming#when the empire was ultimately surprised by the worst of his crimes enough times over that he was able to commit them all#and even now after impending doom 1 and the trial he is STILL consistently underestimated in the damage he can continue to do#whereas dib has spent his entire life being called crazy by literally everyone he knows (and many he doesnt)#all for ENTIRELY the wrong reasons#but hey#thats exactly the kind of counterintuitive comedy that the iz universe runs on#anyway i may or may not do this for more episodes as i rewatch with my sibling#or honestly just in general#because there is nothing i enjoy more than pointing out tiny details that are entertaining to no one besides me#i've always been especially fond of the wettening though#like literally always dating back to when i was 7#probably earlier but my memories only go back so far#its very fun seeing how wildly the specifics of how i love this show have drifted over the years#favorite episodes. favorite characters (i mean always gaz on some level but the ones that plague me the most)#but it is sometimes even better to observe the very specific points that have remained constant#if still evolving in complexity
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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#the forsblad agenda deepens#542... you are so important to me...#i was gonna add the fact that ekky does skew a little towards sweets even if he tries to pretend he doesnt#considering the “cookie on the ice cookie off the ice” ritual but he doesnt do it as much anymkre#but he has admitted he does eat half a cookie on the road sometimes with his coffee#which he drinks black; forsy also drinks it black as well#thats not anything surprising considering a good portion of athletes take coffee black to cut back on sugars for health/preformance reasons#its a little surprising because i know forsy enjoys pastries to a certain extent because of fika#but also considering the stated above you dont get an adonis body without certain sacrifices...#and considering the contrast between the rest of the scandinavians admitting they either add cream or milk#(or drink tea woo go sasha!!) to their coffee#it really cements the oh!-ness of him going “i think its just black. straight up.”#two boys cutting back on sweets for the sake of hockey theres romanticism somewhere in there#this is all to say it makes me really happy to see forsy indulge in sweets in the offseason#anyways enough about that lets go back to whatever the fuck forsblad are on#truly cross continental pyschosexual flirting is going on#wdym youre using your cup day to taunt ekky whos (checks notes)#fucking around in the tennis court around the time these shenanigans have started#why are you so obsessed with getting his attention...#if we get an ekky quote about the flying i will in fact eat a shoe 👍
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just started thinking about bradley as a teenager struggling with his emotions both pre and post his mother’s death/fall out with maverick but not wanting to reach out for help because a history of mental health problems can get you disqualified from enlisting in the service. happy saturday guys.
#that boy should have been in therapy from ages 2 on up like.#i def hc that carole took him to someone when he was younger but bradley probably stopped going once he was older and was given the choice#but like. idk. picturing carole trying to bring up him going back after she gets sick because she KNOWS he needs to talk to someone#and maverick cant be there all the time. but bradley says no because hes a teenager and hes started thinking about how to make himself +#appealing to the navy and that opens a whole other can of worms where carole sees that but doesnt want to deny him#because she can see hes already having a hard time with things as they are.#mav trying to convince him to go and bradley pointing out it’s hypocritical because maverick doesnt like talking about his feelings either#i just think people ignore his trauma So Much. they only pay attention to the maverick and goose bits#but they fail to consider how even before the maverick stuff happened bradley had a lot to deal with from a very young age#he spent most of his life on his own! he lost the people he loved most OVER and OVER…#the amount of trauma that must have come flooding back when phoenix (&bob but phoenix is clearly bradleys closest friend) had to eject#i think thats why people painting him as angry & agressive because of the scene where he yells at mav never sits right w me#that moment is so incredibly raw for both of them. bradley lashing out when hes just been triggered is not that surprising????#anyways.#carolcore#bradley rooster bradshaw
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😊
#it always feels so nice whenever i do things i just kinda. never imagined myself doing#aka 'i didnt think id have friends ever so i was just going to hermit forever' kgjdjdjsjs#its more 'i dont think people would like me enough to hang out' so.#but yeah....#i got to talk more to this guy x at work who started the same time i did#so he and i just kinda vibe and are honest w each other#it was nice just chatting about life and all that#he didnt have a ride home so i offered him one and thats just something i didnt really think id do#idk bc it was more spontaneous and i feel id be too anxious or think 'oh god maybe he doesnt like me and would feel weird'#but we actually vibe so the ride was super chill#IT WAS CHILL UNTIL HE MENTIONED STAR RAIL AND I WAS JUST 'DONT SAY THAT#but yeah.#idk.#its that thing of 'try to be the friend you wished you had'#x is cool tho hes funny#i was just surprised he said hes quiet when he started. he was not quiet at all when we first had a shift together jdfjdjdj#orientation buddies ig sjfjdjsjs#ANYWAYS#i also started training on my promotion job and its been nice. a little overwhelming but skfjdjd its not bad#friends tag#avil speaks#it was just a nice day today haha#SORRY i just am mush lately about friends. believe me itd be worse here but djfdjjd you know. have to shut up.#otherwise its like everyday 'man.... i like my friends. my friends are so nice. i wish them happiness and warmth'
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Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0
i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3
#snap chats#SHE DIDNT EVEN WATCH IT BUT W/E SPOILER FREE QUICK REVIEW DOWN HERE HIIII <3<3<3<3#ive been made aware my tastes are. Questionable so proceed with caution vlklvjv im so sorry if i convince you to see it and you dont like i#moving on I Have. done nothing but listen to Eternal Flame for the past week its been stuck in my head ever since#BUT FR as i said I Really Liked It. i heard that theres another/original version so i wanna watch that at some point#if i care to remember and find it vjaelkjeakl but as This Movie On Its Own i had a swell time !!!#it does a really good job of teetering that line of#'this is just a quaint little sometimes-awkward get-together' and 'this is so stressful i just might throw up'#it did a good job of keeping me invested and on my toes i guess- it bitters innocuous scenarios really well which i like#like i wasnt sure WHEN whatever scene i was watching would turn sour but i always had that feeling it /would/- that lingering feeling#the horror in this is more psychological than violent- it only gets crazy by the last quarter honestly#which isnt bad! i like psych horror and Christ. the amount of times i was just grimacing in my seat like Suspense Is The Word#like imagine a dinner party where people only say controversial things and you dont want to blow up the situation#so you just try to be really polite about pivoting from the topic. but they keep going. thats basically the horror of this movie at its cor#i do have SOME comments about some bits but i wanna rewatch the movie at some point to be thorough on my comments jglejlakj#yk do a rewatch where im. NOT jokin bout with my brother- THO TBF DESPITE THAT I was still invested#like its premise is so. simple? in concept imo. but 'simple' isnt automatically bad in my eyes and i really liked how it played out#i dont watch movies much tho so maybe its been done different but there is ONE thing tht definitely made me like. HUH#but its nothing super major i dont htink? I MEAN IT WAS KINDA BIG BUT there were signs to it being revealed. still it made me vjLJ like god#i cant explain tho cause SPOILERS but ... Yeah. its not that crazy it just definitely took me by surprise for how quick the reveal was#tldr: if you ever wanted to watch an awkward dinner party where you couldnt do anything about it this is the movie to watch#and i like that. i like that because i hate myself apparently jVLAEKJVAEKLJ#coupled with horror it was also funny at times which i felt did help with that underlying 'when will this be tainted' horror#i really liked that ... when normalcy or the feeling of safety can be taken away in an instant#if you watch it and wanna talk bout it more in depth ill prob have rewatched it by then and id like to give a more. Detailed review#OR AT LEAST ONE NOT SO RAMBLY VELKAVJEALKJ im not good at reviewing things .... i just know when i like or dont like somethin ..#ive only had my bro to talk bout this with and he doesnt really. Give his thoughts or opinions too much like i do#so id be happy to talk bout it and get your perspective !!!! but only if you want Again if you dont like it im so sorry erlakjaekl#god theres so much more i want to say but im just rambling and i wanna be brief for you my friend vlakjlakvlkj#anyway yeah. those are my quick thoughts. i was Very Normal about james mcavoy for most of this movie ty for reading
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Sonic actually got upset with anyone in the comics who referred to him as either Ogilvie or Mautrice, this included his own Comic dad so even if it was canon then it wouldn't mean anything.
(If it was canon then it would just be like how Tails is really named Miles, it never comes up so it legit wouldn't matter (I do want at least one person in canon to call Tails Miles, I want to know how he canonically reacts to it))
the name olgilvie was never actually used in the comics though? his middle name being maurice is mentioned a couple times but his first name from before he started going by sonic was always left unknown. the idea of his first name being olgilvie just comes from ken penders saying that he wanted to make that sonics name. but this was never actually brought up in the comics, it wasnt mentioned by any of the characters and it wasnt on any of sonics character profiles either. other writers for the comic have even said that sonics name ISNT olgilvie. so acting like its canon is just. idk. are we really gonna accept everything ken penders says he would have done with sonic as canon regardless of if its actually mentioned in the comics or not? because thats a terrible idea
also regarding tails's full name: he hates the name miles in aosth. but he doesnt seem to have a problem with it in other continuities, i can think of a couple times hes used it himself or other characters have called him that and he wasnt upset by it or anything
#sorry if any of this comes off as aggressive Btw thats not my intention#i cant even find the source for penders saying thats his name tbh. just people saying he said that#but i wouldnt be surprised if it was just something he mentioned after he already left. which would make it even more Not Canon#since he would have zero creative control over the characters at that point#ive read all of archie sonic btw so i know for a fact the name olgilvie doesnt come up at all#also even if archie sonics full name was ACTUALLY olgilvie maurice hedgehog. 1. he very clearly doesnt go by that name anymore#like you said. he intentionally hid his birth name from all his friends and got upset when his dad brought it up#and 2. archie sonic isnt canon to the games so that information wouldnt apply to any other sonic media#but considering people ALREADY treat olgilvie maurice as part of the Official Lore Of The Sonic Games#i know that wouldnt stop anybody. literally so annoying </3#asks#and to be clear i dont care if people wanna use olgilvie maurice as their headcanon full name for sonic#its people presenting it as canon information that annoys me
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no seriously where did the 'dirk strider is a transmed/is transphobic' thing come from and also can we leave it behind already
#caw caw#its especially grating when hes hc'd as a trans man and/or is the only hc'd trans man within the kids cause its like.#i dunno it just feels bad. ive gotta stay off for you pages that shit is Not for me#also yes i have read and like the epilogues. i saw him being surprised about tboy roxy but not transphobic#i saw him slipping up in a normal way but that also isnt transphobia. he also cant see inside roxy's head#like he can with everyone else bc of roxy's aspect so he *genuinely* didnt know rox's internal processes or any kinda changes#he swaps pronouns for roxy at some point bc its implied that tboy roxy doesnt happen as often across timelines#so he defaults to she/her for us the readers for simplicity and imo bc most ppl still use she/her for roxy anyway#thats how i see it anyway. the fandom doesnt even like tboy roxy but he only ever comes up for transmed-dirk#which just feels weird and bad yknow. feels kinda puppet-y. bdumtiss#like i just dont think the guy who said he doesnt even deserve to die next to roxy would do that to him i truly dont#i think a lot of people have an uncharitable view of dirk bc they keep conflating him with bro when#that is NOT the point and wasnt the the point of the striunion or anything wrt paradox clones#bro is bro. we dont know why he is the way he is#but there was also absolutely NOTHING to imply that bro was transphobic. thats pure fanlore and most likely projection#projection isnt bad i need to say. but it is when it cements itself into fanlore and then fanlore changes our view of canon#the point of dirk strider is that he loves. he has a whole ass heart right on his chest for fucks sake#he is literally and figuratively wearing his heart outside of his chest for everyone to see#our t
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I went to see I Saw The TV Glow with a few of my cishet/normie friends and it was a really disappointing experience. I didn't expect any of them to understand it but the lack of empathy was kind of shocking.
My bf was surprised at how humanizing and deliberate the film was, and was very impressed both with the budget and the visual effects choices for the Pink Opaque. He thought it was kind of like The Joker but for trans people (a story about social isolation, the effects of being continually sidelined by others/treated like a joke, repressing yourself, and the mental illness caused by all of that) which I agree with. It's a story about pain and self-denial, and I think it was relatable for just about anyone. The movie was very clear and raw. His observations after the movie were pretty keen and I enjoyed seeing it with him. I think we both could've watched another 3 hours of it.
My other 2 friends reacted very strongly with revulsion and couldn't explain WHY they were so upset. One of them started blaming it on the poor writing quality, bad acting, and lack of budget, but couldn't explain what exactly the poor quality writing or low budget scenes were. She kept saying it was just poorly acted and hackey in a bad way. The other just straight up said it sucked and wouldn't elaborate. They were both extremely uncomfortable with the idea of a closeted trans woman being a relatable protagonist and it was just weird to watch them tripping over themselves to try and not sound extremely bigoted.
The 3rd friend thought we were going to see Twin Peaks Lite and was a little disappointed by the ending (I think he wanted more magic mystery stuff) but really had nothing else to say. He enjoyed the color grading, the soundtrack, and loved the Connor O'Malley cameo. I will continue taking him to movies with me because he's in it for the love of the game.
The post-movie trip to the bar was slightly uncomfortable because the first 2 friends were overly insistent about their points of view and wouldn't drop it.
#slime speak#my bf's reaction surprised me bc he usually doesnt do lgbt films [not in a homophobic way hes just cishet] but he really enjoyed this one#and he was very annoyed at the first 2 friends' reactions#especially how they were kind of ganging up and trying to make friend 3 say it sucked when he clearly didnt think it sucked#i didnt expect that from them and im lowkey hanging out with them less... 🤐 i gave them pushback and thats what made them get weird
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how does one converse with someone who has no hobbies except "being on the computer" and is weirdly cagey about what they do on the computer 🧍
#theres some new guy at the centre today thats around my age#and i am trying to connect w him bc i can tell he is... so lonely#but he doesnt give me anything to work off of 😭😭#he actually has some decent conversation skills bc he asked me abt my crochet#and listened when i told him abt it but he didnt rly engage w it after the initial question djdkdl just nodded along vaguely#but like. the fact that he asked was so surprising honestly LMAO i was so impressed#BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO TALK TO THIS GUY.#he says he doesnt have any hobbies or interests other than being on the computer all dat#day*#and then i tried to ask what he does and he said video games mostly so i asked him what kind of games#and he got so cagey about it ?? 😭 he said it's nothing weird he ''just doesnt like talking abt it''#so i was like okay. uh. what do i talk about now. you have left me with nothing DBFJDKL#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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so after the prof cancelling like 8 classes in old english, losing quizzes and assignments and grades, never making expectations clear, barely explaining what he was teaching, etc, we didn't complete all of the things on the syllabus and i don't think i can. calculate my grade going into the exam?
there's supposed to have been 9 quizzes with the lowest mark of that 9 dropped; at my best count there was 6 and i have no idea if we can still expect that lowest drop
there was supposed to be two tests and no exam, but i suppose the exam is the second test bc having an exam was his plan from the start and the dept wouldn't allow it so he's doing it via loophole + we did do one test already
we completed 2 translations as expected but i won't have the second one returned before the final exam is due, so no idea how i did on that since i felt ok abt the first one and only got a 50
i also don't have my essay back, which was like 20% and the only thing i've felt confident abt all semester
multiple quizzes and assignments were returned with random numbers on them with no indication of what they were out of (i was given a quiz back with "12" written on the top? 12 out of what? 12%?)
can't find half of the quizzes- i don't think i even have them. i have 1, 3 and 6. we were emailed some of the marks, so they might be in my inbox somewhere? but i don't have the physical quizzes and can't use them to review or like. learn from them
also the prof is out of province rn i think. this is the third time this semester. so i can't meet w him to check up on this
like i need a 65 average in every course to stay in honours, if this course fucked it all up for me i'll lose it i really will. i THINK i'm over that but i have no fucking clue. and not to catastrophize but if i don't get a 65 i can't do my essay next semester and everything is completely set up for me to go do that already, and ofc then i won't graduate in spring and won't get the degree i worked my ass off and paid a fucking exorbitant amt of money for that i am almost finished. i hate this fucking school man
#its a miracle im even passing. i shouldnt be i dont know shit#but it genuinely is not my fault this prof is the worst#hes ancient so he barely makes it to class (he hasnt been on time once all semester) and hes sick all the time#he can barely hear us talk and keeps losing and forgetting crucial shit for class#almost every time he cancelled class it was last minute and i mean within an hour of class starting. i was already in the building#he doesnt really teach so much as say shit and then act confused when we dont understand immediately#he Stated that he knew we wouldnt understand basic grammar bc we werent taught it. which is true and was said kindly#and then acted surprised when we didnt fucking know what a preposition is or the difference between that and a conjunction#hes also just. super boring. but thats just me i can see how he would be fascinating to someone else#and thats the worst part hes not even a terrible guy hes just a bad prof. hes nice hes just absolutely clueless#he literally gave us each a different translation of beowulf from his own collection for a project and let us keep them#shame i cant fucking read it! bc its in old english! and i still cant read old english!#its way beyond time for him to retire but he just. wont fuckin leave apparently#levi.txt#i couldve taken middle ages and the movies. middle ages and the movies gets to write a screenplay as a final assignment#middle ages and the movies gets to go watch the green knight and is taught by a prof i think is really cool#but noooo intro to old english is the only medieval studies req that fit into my schedule bc i live in a fucking hell dimension
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im finally completely caught up on 911 and ive only got a few episodes of lone star left and i think... i think, controversially, maybe i now prefer lone star ...
#no one is more surprised about this than me#a show where the main character is played by rob lowe over the show with buck in??#controversial truly#or maybe not controversial because i did that poll a couple weeks back and i actually think lone star won#so maybe its the normal opinion?#anyways the thing i hadnt considered was tk strand#and how he is perfect#also i watch these shows for the drama and the peril and the pining#and boy oh boy does lone star have a lot of that#(thats not to say 911 doesnt also have copious amounts of those things#just not quite as much)#dont get me wrong#i still absolutely adore 911#and i think its objectively the better show#and this could all just be because 1. i watched lone star more recently#2. i already knew every major plot point in 911 before watching whereas i didnt know any for lone star#3. i went into lone star with the lowest expectations so that fact that i loved it even any amount was a surprise#but like#i truly dont think ive been more entertained by a show in a long time#and i so deeply love almost all the characters in lone star and all the different dynamics and relationships#and tk!!#tk who is literally the blueprint of what i love in a fictional character#and you know#lone star has a dog#so thats a big bonus#ive reached the end of what lone star is on disney plus#theres only like 5 more episodes that need to put on there i think?#im debating whether i wait and enjoy the hype of weekly episodes for a bit#or whether i just track down the rest of the series now ...
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#i'm losing a war against the mceichel worms in my brains and its like#their dynamic to ME is that one mary oliver quote thats like ''let the soft animal of your body love what it loves''#except what connor loves is an angry little raccoon he picked up by accident from the trash can (jack)#i think. what is so compelling to me about them in ways that other connor ships do not move me in#well first anytime we're doing lovers to enemies i'm on board but mostly its the whole. not being friends#look one romantic aspect we do not talk enough about is the idea that you wouldnt be friends with your partner if you werent in a#relationship which like. doesnt make sense right? arent all good relationships built on a foundation of platonic affection?#but you would be surprised! at how many people fall into this kind of dynamic! because at the end of the day being partners is a CHOICE#oh my god it was always a choice#anyways i love projecting real life relationship dynamics on fictional men#and i just think. ifs the acknowledgement that they wouldnt particularly work well outside of a romantic aspect that Gets Me So Badly#we're either lovers or strangers#<- THEE mceichel thesis to me#and its just stupid cute and stupid human to find urself falling in love with someone you wouldnt expect#i want that for the both of them. they both need je nay say kwas to keep their incredibly regimented lives normal and fun.#ANYWys.#thinking. perhaps even thoughting. thunking.
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#Jesus. just finished my interview. no idea how it went#i think it was much too rambling on my part and they asked almost exclusively sciency questions#ugh hopefully i didn't look like a completle moron. the guy was sorta inscrutable so no idea what he thought#and he was like hmm whats ur competition here? and i dont give a fuck abt competition and also it doesnt really matter#fuck. i should have said. it would b fine if they were doing the exact same project bc we would b evolving different strains and it would b#interesting if they evolved even the exact same traits. fuck#i think objectively i probably looked like someone who halfway knows what theyre doing without the specific knowledge#which is exactly true. like mother fuckers ive got a full time job to be overworked in. i dont have time to memorize details of every#pathway change in every desert cyano#uuuuugh its just annoying bc my brain doesnt work well in the moment. i need time to process and knit together an answer#so i wouldnt b surprised if i was ranked low. oh god i was told the interview was prob a formality unless it goes terribly#itll b real embarrassing if i dont get passed this stage now#whatever it was a bit chaotic on their end too bc one guy didnt show up until halfway thru so i kinda had to go back and say things twice#uuuuuuuuuuggh. well that kinda sucked. at least its done. out of my hands now.#i was getting too excited abt it anyway. this will reaffirm my: obviously im not gonna get it vibes#i mean thats what i get for trying to join a very competitive program. like i am not a competitive person#rip to my lab mate who im gonna whine at all day abt this. i have to meet him in less than an hour#welp. there r other schools. god i hope at least one of them accepts me#ugh i just think its kinda annoying they they want u to be perfectly qualified for things lol. like i would need someone to step thru the#lab process with me literally once or twice and then id be good to go#like maybe a couple hours of someones time to remind me. thats it. humans r adaptable#i can obviously carry out a project to its conclusion and i have a lot of passion. not that they asked. but yeah#oh well. i should have breakfast before i freeze in the desert all day#unrelated
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