#i will be making only the most horrid predictions for the next 2 years and we’ll see how many come trueeew

[louisxleprince]

since sunfyre is *allegedly* ded in HoD and they love changing everything for no reason, do we think aegon’s gonna make alicent kill rhaenyra to give her something to do that season??

[anxiouslyfred]

Created Holidays

for @dukexietyweek‘s final prompt of holidays

Summary: Remus used to create random holidays and get all the Dark sides celebrating them, but even though he tried to do the same when known, the holidays have stopped except for the ones on a normal calendar.

Today Virgil is going to change that, with Shelob’s birthday

Warnings: spiders, telling offs

/\/\

One thing Virgil had missed since being accepted and welcomed with open arms as soon as Remus was known to Thomas was the holidays, the celebrations, whichever you wanted to call them. It wasn't that the Known sides didn't celebrate things, but that everything was on a calender, predictable and in order. There were no mornings when you could come down to a bizarre breakfast and banners declaring 'Shelob's Birthday' or 'Cheese Rolling Day', or any manner of things Remus decided needed to be celebrated from films, stories, or random news articles Thomas might read.

He'd loved it when there was a 'Frozen day' weeks after the family movie night they'd shared, because it felt like the holiday were coming back. Except after 2 months Remus had stopped them all over again. He'd reduced them at first until they had just gone, and Virgil had no clue what could be influencing or controlling his friend to this extent.

Perhaps they weren't holidays with the traditions and history that Christmas or Halloween came with, but they were fun, and just a way Remus got his family to spend time together. That had been for a few years something Thomas wanted, that Patton had always been trying to encourage. Themed games and meals would only help with that, even if it came randomly rather than planned for weeks if not months in advance.

Still, Virgil knew something must have been said or done to stop Remus bringing his holidays out for everyone to share in. Whether or not he still held them in the imagination or his room was something Virgil kind of wanted to find out.

More than finding out though, he wanted them back, and if Remus wasn't going to do it, then Virgil damn well would. They deserved to bring their family time out from the hidden spaces of Thomas's mind and into the common areas, not matter what the light sides wanted.

With that in mind he began to plan, and felt some dark joy in deciding which holiday he'd like to bring back for them all. Patton would forgive him for it, surely?

/VR\

The first thing to make any of the other Sides suspect there was something different about the day was Patton's scream followed shortly after by his door being slammed.

It woke most of them up, and got the ones already awake quickly leaving their room to figure out what was happening, only to freeze in their doorways.

Virgil had only added a few spiderwebs and strands of silly string along the hallway, but in increasing density going down the stairs. It was only in the main common area that his decorations really took over, but before anyone other than Patton had seen them a delighted scream was ringing out.

“Shelob's Birthday!” Remus couldn't have moved faster if he was shot from the gun, but at least he stopped without throwing Virgil to the floor when tackling him into a hug. “Can't believe we haven't celebrated Shelob's birthday in so long. Better make this the best one ever. Hobbitsy Tacos and Limbus Bread for all.”

Virgil grinned, going to reply before a cough got his attention from the stairs.

“Remus, as I've stated before, there is not time enough in our lives to indulge in your-” Logan cuts himself off when Virgil starts hissing, eyeshadow darkening and growing down his cheeks.

“You don't have time for a family day, Logan? Yet when Patton suggests or simply decides to make a big dinner and insist on a family meal you drop everything for it unless there's a specific deadline to meet.” Virgil ground out, arms tightening around Remus, and moving them both onto the sofa.

Logan adjusts his tie, shifting uncomfortably in his spot. “That is not what this is. This is a nonsensical situation that has no reason to be celebrated beyond a whim of-”

“-Me! I did this because frankly following a strict calendar of celebrations is too many traditions and not enough family. Remus has always known how to bring our little family of Dark Sides into something fun to do with holidays and I was wondering why that had stopped when he was more than willing to include you all as well.” Virgil wished in that moment he could silence the others as effectively as Janus could, but talking over them to lecture their horrid behaviour would work.

Roman popped up then, seemingly having delayed reacting to the screams from 10 minutes before. “What the heckity heck, guys! A Prince needs his beauty sleep, and Remus I've told you a million, nigh a zillion times before that these-”

“That what? That you and Logan are the assholes responsible for Remus stopping trying to bring his family together? That you're the reason our random holidays stopped being created? Are you taking the blame for that, or should the next one play on your fears rather than one of the characters I loved reading about?” Virgil turned his glare to the other Creativity even as Remus pulled away to grab Janus and start cooking in the kitchen.

Neither Logan or Roman seemed willing to argue their points with Virgil combatting them so easily, clearly in defence of Remus. They share a glance though, silently frowning at the decorations around the room and remembering what had roused them that morning.

“Before you try to say I'm excluding Patton because of the nature of the event, I've already sent an apology to his room, as well as an explanation of what's happening; Specifically that I'm trying to bring something Remus loved to share with all of us back.” Virgil huffed out, catching the look. “Bad enough that you already try to treat him like a disease that shouldn't be listened to, you had to try and take away his version of family holidays as well.”

There are arms back around his waist before he could decide on whether they needed to apologise or just stay for the rest of the day. Remus nuzzled into his neck before twisting around Virgil to look at his face. “Games now?” He asked.

“Yep, games time now. What should we play to properly celebrate Shelob's Birthday?” Virgil smiles, posture completely relaxing as he turned away from Logan and Roman, leaning towards the coffee table expecting some type of game to be summoned to it.

Remus leaps over the back of the sofa, but remains wrapped around Virgil as an Operation game forms on the table, with the character looking distinctly dwarven. Janus is soon to join them, staring at Roman and Logan expectantly, although just what he's expecting they can't decide.

“Sit. Play. Some of these should be right up your alley, Roman. Everything is Lord of the Rings and fantasy or pure spider themed.” Virgil orders after a second.

/VR\

Through the day's games and snacks, Virgil had pulled Remus onto his lap, suggesting things they could do from previous times they'd celebrated Shelob's Birthday. They remained like that through attempts at cats cradle, passing the patterns made between their hands, and barely shifted apart when Janus declared the meal was done and brought out a pie that looked like it had spaghetti for the lid.

After the lecture from the morning neither Logan or Roman wanted to bring up the intimacy enough to ask about it though. As it stood they focused on doing a few things to include Patton in the day even while he was remaining in his room, too unsettled by the decorations to actually join in. It seemed to be the right choice to make since Virgil's warning and protective glares reduced as they carried on joining in with the holiday.

It was when they were all just relaxing after Janus over-ruled Remus's latest game suggestion that Logan finally had to ask, “So why did you decorate to such an extreme? I know you wanted to have Remus creating nonsensical family holidays again, but he has never decorated since becoming known more than a banner, and a few strings of decorations.”

“If there's one thing you need to know about Remus, it's that when he's accepted others have rejected a suggestion it takes nothing less extreme than a battering ram and a cheerleading squad to convince him otherwise.” Virgil snorted, shaking his head. “And there was no freaking way I was doing something that noisy, but decorations that are impossible to ignore? Well I saw how you all reacted to my room and I'm pretty good at it.”

“You used Patton's scream not only to get everyone's attention and figure out which of us convinced Remus to stop but also to make the point you enjoyed them.” Logan observed after a moment thinking through his words.

Virgil rolled his eyes, “Der.”

“And he's gonna help me make wonderfully unnerving decorations for my next holiday, aren't you, Aragog?” Remus piped up, wriggling back so his hair was tickling Virgil's chin.

“We better decide what it is early then, make sure I decorate for the right holiday.” Virgil replied, nuzzling his head down for a split second before getting dragged off upstairs. “Thanks for a great holiday. I guess we're heading to sleep now.” He called back at them, laughing as his arm was both yanked and bounced ahead of him.

There wasn't much planning done when they made it to Remus's room though, since the easy affection Virgil had finally allowed himself to show was now being reciprocated with wild lips meeting his, and bodies pushing each other against the door.

“Holiday planning can wait, We've got a better date.” Remus rhymed, beaming when Virgil just nodded.

At the end of the day, Virgil liked the fact they had the random family holidays back, but even more than that he loved his new boyfriend.

[snitches-at-dawn]

draco fucking malfoy pt 2 || d.m.

a/n: thank you all so much for the gorgeous reception you gave part one of this fic- it honestly means the world to me.

this fic is a fair bit longer than the first part, mainly because i didn’t really want to drag this onto 3 or 4 parts.

this is specifically for the wonderful nonnie who asked me for a part two and a happy ending, i am sorry this is bittersweet instead of happy like you had requested. to make up for that, i’ll be posting a small happy alternative ending in a reply to your comment just for you titled “Draco Fucking Malfoy Pt 2 - Alternative Ending”

i finished it a bit early so i thought i’d post it now and the alt ending later around 1pm pst.

i hope you all like this and are safe, wherever you are. 

word count- 3.1k

part 1 to draco fucking malfoy

alternative ending

“nope. nope nope nope nope nope,” you said repeatedly to yourself as you continued pacing up and down your room, as if the combination of the words and actions could change the name on your left wrist. a soft knock on the door made you stop your pacing. you heard hermione’s excited voice float across, “(y/n), have you got a name yet?”

“fuck me,” you groaned and put your head in your hands wondering how harry would take this news. your best friend had a hard enough time adjusting to draco when you were dating, you had no idea how he’d take the news of having to deal with him for the rest of your lives. you remembered his reaction when you told him that draco had asked you out in your fourth year before the triwizard tournament.

~flashback~

“erm...harry?” you said nervously as you entered his dorm.

“i know, (y/n), i just need five minutes then we can go for dinner,” he replied as he rummaged through his trunk for something.

“not that,” you said, “can we talk?”

“sure,” he said distractedly, waving towards the foot of his bed indicating that you should take a seat, where you dutifully perched yourself.

“so erm, draco malfoy asked me out,” you rushed out, fiddling with the sleeve of your sweater.

“bit early for a hallowe’en prank isn’t it?” he laughed.

“harry. i’m not kidding. he asked me out,” you said more confidently this time.

harry stilled and then swivelled around to face you, “say that again.”

“draco asked me out.”

“are you having me on?” his voice was suspicious.

you shook your head, tucking your hair behind your ears so harry could look into your eyes and see that you weren’t joking and you repeated, “draco asked me out.”

“draco?” harry asked incredulously, “since when do we call malfoy ‘draco’? and what d’you mean he asked you out? why would he ask you out? you’ve never even spoken!”

“erm well actually, remember how last year you couldn’t come to hogsmeade,” you paused as he nodded, “well at some point it started snowing really hard i lost ron and hermione, so i went into madam puddifoot’s to find someone else to walk back with because the three broomsticks was empty, but draco was the only other student there. everyone else had left by then, i guess.

“well, we ended up walking back together and he told me he had been stood up by daphne greengrass. it was a bit awkward at first- i didn’t know how to comfort him really. he changed the topic soon enough to quidditch and he turned out to be nice and we got along well enough. then i started seeing him everywhere. he was talking to me at every party, sitting next to me in potions once in a while, walking down to care of magical creatures, that sort of thing. we sort of became... friends,” you trailed off as you saw harry wanted to speak.

“and how come neither of ron, hermione or i realised? i think we would have known if you were talking to someone we all hate- or hated in your case.”

“hermione did. she and i started spending alot of time together because of her fight with ron- that’s when we got close. she’s known about us since the first day we spoke actually- she’s been... surprisingly supportive. you were so preoccupied with the whole sirius situation you didn’t notice which was totally understandable of course and she agreed that telling you would only wind you up. ron... well- ron’s just always been a bit oblivious,” you answered.

harry grunted.

“right well, we just ended up spending alot of time together last year and wrote to each other a fair bit over the summer. at some point we started liking each other i guess,” you shrugged.

harry looked at you sharply, “you fancy him then?” to which you nodded.

“hang on- is that where you snuck off as soon as we got to the world cup campsite? when you showed up near the bulgarian’s site? the three of us reckoned you had got lost or something.”

“yeah, we had planned to meet up in front of his tent weeks before.” you said fondly, “that’s where he told me he fancies me and-”

“alright i don’t need to know if you snogged there,” he interrupted you hastily but your blush gave you away, “oh c’mon (y/n), you snogged him?”

“no,” you heatedly replied, “we just kissed.”

“you couldn’t have found any other boy, (y/n)? you have a line of boys who’d line up to date you. merlin’s sake you don’t even have to look outside my dorm- seamus and neville would kill for a shot at you.”

you scoffed, “they only like me because i play quidditch. draco,” you voice softened, “draco likes me for the music i listen to, my sarcasm, my horrid jokes and all the stuff that annoys most people.”

he sat down wearily next to you, “and you really like him?”

once again you nodded.

seeing he looked just as bewildered by your choice you said, “look it won’t be long. i’m a half blood. there’s no way his parents will let us date long once they find out.”

harry considered this for a moment. he sighed, “well, that’s true. go on then. he’d better treat you alright, (y/n). i’m not having him screwing with my best friend,” and he slung his arm around your shoulder.

“with any luck he’ll be screwing your best friend rather than screwing wit-”

“yeah just don’t tell me about your sex life alright?” he interrupted you again.

you hugged him hard, “thank you for understanding, harry. i know you can’t be too happy with your best friend crushing on someone you hate.”

he awkwardly patted your head in acknowledgment. 

hermione walked in to see you laughing at the pathetic irony of your situation. looking at you confused, “(y/n)? who is it?”

“draco fucking malfoy,” you mumbled from between your hands which covered your face.

“come again?”

you sighed and put your hands on the bed on either side of you.

“it’s draco,” you exhaled

hermione laughed too, “no really, who is it?”

resignedly you showed her your wrist. her face fell, “no.”

“my thoughts exactly. it’s like some kind of cosmic joke.”

“what are you going to do?” she asked.

“commit murder possibly,” you said marching out of your dorm and to harry’s ignoring her calling your name, presumably trying to talk some sense into you.

“the map. give me the map,” you snapped at harry once you had barged into his dorm, ignoring the other boys crowding around you asking who your soulmate was.

“why? who’s your soulmate?” harry asked.

you shoved your wrist under his nose. he stared in shock, “i don’t know whether to feel bad for you or laugh at you.”

“you’ll give me the fucking map unless you want me to hex you into next year.”

he produced the marauders’ map from the depths of his trunk which you snatched and proceeded to exit the room once again to the sound of your name.

“oi! (y/n)!)” harry called again jogging after you.

“what?”

“why d’you want the map?”

“i need to talk to him,” you replied.

harry nodded, understandingly but called after you when you had turned around.

“what?” you asked more irately this time.

he hesitated, “(y/n) don’t- don’t do anything stupid. as much as i’d love for you to hex him till his mum couldn’t recognise him-  he is your soulmate whether you like it or not. even though we all hate him, he’s who you’ll spend your life with. don’t say anything you’ll regret in the future.”

a small smile tugged at your lips, “i thought i was supposed to get wiser when i got older.”

turning you attention back to the map, you saw the little dot labelled ‘draco malfoy’ in the girl’s lavatory on the second floor and purposefully stalked out of the gryffindor tower to moaning myrtle’s bathroom, not even wondering why he was in the girl’s lavatory.

you didn’t even remember the walk down, just how blindingly angry you felt. angry at the universe. angry at harry for not stopping you from dating him two years ago. angry at draco for not telling you why he broke things off. angry at draco for being your soulmate. angry at... you weren’t angry at draco for being your soulmate. 

you saw a flash of platinum blonde hair in the mirror you stood in front of, and whirled around.

he was leaning against the wall behind you, watching you with calculating eyes as he tried to predict your next move.

your rage re-surfaced as you walked across the bathroom to him, shoes squelching and robes dragging in the standing water until you stood so close to him your noses were almost touching.

“you,” you said with as much disgust as you could muster in your voice.

“yes?” draco asked pleasantly as though you had said his name to get his attention.

“fix it.”

“fix what, darling?”

you stabbed your wand into his chest, “don’t you call me darling you prick.”

“alright. what d’you want me to fix?”

you had started to walk away from him but spun around at that question, “what d’you mean ‘what d’you want me to fix’?” for the third time that hour, you shoved your wrist under someone’s nose.

“this,” you hissed, “fix this.”

“and how can i fix this?” he asked, baring his own wrist to you.

something about seeing your name on his wrist made your anger concentrate into a tiny ball in the center of your chest, rather than the disorganised feeling you had earlier, and you felt your head clear a bit.

“there’s some kind of mistake. we’ll go to mcgonagall tomorrow and have her arrange for us to get to the ministry so we can get this sorted out,” you said in that same low voice you had used that night on the astronomy tower. your mind was racing as you muttered under your breath, trying to think of ways to break the bond you had forced on you.

“(y/n).”

your attention shifted to draco who was standing right next to you.

“(y/n), do you really think this is a mistake? i mean really? we were amazing together. yeah our parents didn’t like it, yeah we had alot of people talking about us, but that didn’t affect us,” he said. when you didn’t respond he continued, “we were good for each other. i calmed you down when your temper flared up. you’d keep me in check if i started bullying someone. we worked together to get better in our classes and it worked well. we made each other better in every way.”

“yeah we did work well, until you dumped me for no reason. it’s been three months and i still have no idea why you up and left. if things were as peachy as you make them sound, then why the fuck would you get out of the relationship?”

you didn’t know how to address him. ‘draco’ was too familiar and ‘malfoy’ was too distant.

he shrugged and returned to the wall he had been leaning against.

with the moonlight bouncing off his white hair, the water just covering the soles of his shoes and the way his robes were draped around him, he looked like some kind of ethereal spirit floating an inch above the ground.

you hated that.

draco seemed lost in his own thoughts, so you jerked him back to focus on you by snapping your fingers, “well?”

he laughed lowly, “you wouldn’t believe me if i told you, my darling.”

“try me.”

as he looked at you, you could see the cogs turning in his brain, considering your words and the ramifications of telling you whatever the reason was. 

the right cog must have clicked in place.

“promise me you won’t judge me.”

“no.”

“(y/n), i’m not kidding,” he said wearily.

“nor am i.”

in response to his silence you continued, “ i reserve the right to judge you after how you dumped me.”

his face contorted in anger. “fine,” he snapped, “fine.”

he moved towards you and wrenched up his left sleeve for you to see his arm. the dark mark. the dark mark ruining his alabaster skin.

“there. that’s why i broke up with you,” he spat.

his voice was deadly quiet and shaking.

“no,” you whispered, all the anger seeping out of your body. your hands grabbed his arm of your own volition and made as though they were trying to wipe off the mark as though it were drawn on.

it wasn’t.

“no, you’re just sixteen you aren’t even of age. there’s no way this is real,” the last sentence was posed more like a question which you looked at him to confirm.

he nodded, “it’s real.”

“did... were you forced?”

he extricated his arm from your grip and let his sleeve fall back down,  silently watched you, gauging your reaction.

“draco...” your voice trailed off. you had no idea what to say. or what you wanted to say.

after a few moments of silence he said, “i have to kill dumbledore.” his voice was quivering again.

you looked at him in abject horror.

“what?”

he nodded and leaned over the sink, choking out through sobs, “with dad in azkaban... he would have killed mum if i hadn’t take the mark when i did. i did what i had to. now i have to finish off the job and he’ll... he might spare mum.”

your mouth was agape, your brain sluggish.

“that’s why i broke up with you. i knew i’d have to take it over the summer. it was easier to have you hate me than love me; it wouldn’t make you a target.”

everything made sense now- why he looked so sleep deprived the week leading up to your break up, why he was so evasive and jumpy after the article in the daily prophet publicising his dad’s arrest.

you tentatively turned him around and when he didn’t resist, you reached out to touch his face. he leaned into the touch and you pulled him into you. your arms around his neck with his face buried in the crook of yours, this situation felt comfortingly familiar- at least it would have been if his shoulders weren’t shaking with silent sobs.

you couldn’t seem to feel any of the resentment that you had felt towards him for the last three months anymore as you stroked the nape of his neck in an attempt to calm him down. you just wanted to protect him. hide him from the cruel world and to let him breathe.

you guided him to the corner of the bathroom, drying the floor with a murmured incantation before sitting the both of you down.

“there’s going to be a war, (y/n),” draco said into your neck with his arms wrapped around your waist as you held him protectively.

“i know,” you whispered back.

“your side will lose, darling, he’s too strong. if you’re it for me, you’re the one i’m to be with, i need you alive after this war. hell, even if you weren’t it for me, i’d still ask you to come to his side.”

“draco,” you exhaled softly looking at him, “you know that isn’t possible. harry-” your voice trailed off.

what would you tell harry? would you tell him about draco’s mission? you shook your head. harry was a problem for later. right now, draco needed you.

“leave him,” he said hoarsely, gripping your wrists, “i know he’s your best friend but (y/n), you can’t die on me. i refuse to let that happen.”

“oh darling,” your voice broke as your stroked his face.

the both of you sat there, intertwined for a few silent seconds before you pulled draco against your front as you leaned against the wall.

“doesn’t this feel familiar?”

draco laughed softly, “i couldn’t count the number of nights we spent like this on the astronomy tower if i tried.”

“let’s be there then. let’s forget all the prophecy bullshit and who’s going to win the war. let’s be a couple of fifteen year olds again, yeah? fill me in on the last few months, sweetheart.”

“i don’t want to be fifteen again.”

you smiled internally that he was playing along with your ploy to distract him.

“alright,” you stroked his hair, “we can be sixteen in an alternate universe. we’re still together and we haven’t got our soulmate marks yet. how’s that?”

his nose wrinkled, “is that from the crap muggle book you tried getting me to read last year?”

“so you were listening to me!” you laughed.

“i always listened to you.”

“i’ll listen to you now. let’s be sixteen in an alternate universe with no war. tell me about your last three months, love.”

draco filled you in on the time you had spent apart, all the light and happy things- not the significant and dark stuff.

you were only half listening. your mind was in overdrive as you thought about how to extricate him from the mess he had been thrust into by his father’s incompetence to keep himself from getting caught by the ministry. 

maybe you’d convince draco to defect and to go to dumbledore for help. dumbledore wouldn’t turn him away.

if that didn’t work, you’d force him into hiding somewhere, somehow. if it meant using the imperius curse on him, so be it. he wasn’t having his soul ripped to pieces at sixteen. 

how had this happened? an hour ago you would have jumped at a chance to ridicule him, harm him - anything to make him feel the hurt you felt for three months. you had marched to him with the intent of somehow getting your soulmate changed, consequences be damned. now all you could think about was how cruel the world had been to the boy in your arms, how unfair it had been. how you were hell bent on being his safe haven and hopefully the answer to his problems.

“let me in, (y/n),” he said knocking on your temporal bone lightly, calling on an old inside joke you had of letting each other into your thoughts when lost in them.

“it’s nothing important,” you dropped a kiss on his head, laughing at the irony of how a week ago in a conversation with harry, ‘nothing important’ referred to him.

you pulled him closer to you and asked, “so what did narcissa say after that?”

as he continued his narration of a painful dinner he had had to sit through, you pushed every thought to the back of your mind.

reality was a problem for tomorrow.

right now was about draco.

draco fucking malfoy.

tag list-

@chaotic-fae-queen​

@champagneand-strawberries​

@booknerd-3000​

[imaginejamesandsirius]

Hey! love your blog. Could you do a cinderella au maybe?? Thanks

James had had a good life up until his parents died. First his mum had died, and it was a couple years before his dad remarried. He didn't begrudge him for it. Mum had been kind, but she was gone and he deserved to be happy. His stepmother was nice enough up until Dad died, and then it was like living in hell on Earth. Apparently the nice stepmother thing had been an act. His stepsisters had always been kind of bitches, but now it was worse. They didn't have any appearances to keep up, and the only way James could stay happy was by avoiding them. 

So James avoided his step family whenever he could because if they saw him, they'd remember that he existed. If they remembered that he existed, they would do one of two things. 1. Mock him or 2. Give him a chore to do since they'd fired most of the staff when his father died and subsequently decided that James would do all of it. Some years after his father's death, they'd sold the estate despite James's protests-- it was a family home, one the Potter's had lived at for several generations-- and moved to a smaller home. Much smaller. Small enough that it wasn't completely ludicrous to expect for James to be able to take care of its upkeep. 

If he were younger, or perhaps his parents still lived, he wouldn't have hesitated in tossing them out on their arses, or making them so unhappy that they would leave of their own free will. But his parents were dead and he was older now. Old enough and lonely enough that he didn't fancy trying to make an entirely new life for himself with no friends. This was his life now, and he didn't plan on doing much to change that. 

Until, of course, there was an event that changed his life-- not that he ever could have predicted it. 

James was in charge of picking up and handling the post. That meant he was the first one to see the royal invitation. There was a ball. One being held at the palace that invited all people of marrying age in the kingdom to see the prince and hair apparent for the throne so that he might choose someone to marry. James had the vicious urge to throw the invitation away. His step-sisters would be primping and preening every day until the ball finished, and he was going to have to deal with it. Not just their horrid attitudes, but their hair and makeup and dresses. When both of them failed to wed the prince, James was sure they would blame him instead of their own lack of good looks or will. 

He would have thrown it away too, if it weren't for the knowledge that they'd find out about the ball from some other source and then he'd be in deep shite. No. Better to give it to them now and bear the next month as well as he could. 

Easier said than done. 

*

James blinked. "What do you mean?" 

"Have you gone deaf while I was in the market today?" Step-mother asked, none too kindly. "You will not be accompanying us to the ball. I am more than capable to looking after my daughters without your interference. Besides, you would not make the impression we are hoping to make." 

"You're delusional if you think the prince is going to look twice at either of those hags." It would've been smarter if he kept his mouth shut, he knew, but he'd been looking forward to going. To seeing people again. 

*

"So... what are you?" James asked. "Fairy? Witch?" 

"Something like that," the man who had introduced himself as Remus said. 

"Why are you helping me?" 

"I'm not exactly filled with goodwill. I'm doing you a favour so you'll do me a favour." 

"I don't have much," James said with a wry twist of his mouth. 

"It's something you are plenty capable of doing. All I need is for you to deliver a message to Prince Sirius for me. Maybe a few messages, if you manage to give the first one and get one in return." 

"Why can't you do it yourself?" James wanted to immediately accept. Not only was Remus offering to get him into the ball, but he was offering to give him appropriate clothes and fix him up for it-- with a little magic, of course. He'd be able to go the party of the decade without any worries, able to just enjoy himself for a few days. 

Remus's nose twitched. "His parents aren't very fond of me." He gestured to the scars on his face and added, "They've made it quite clear over the years. So long as both of them are living, I can't step foot on the castle grounds, and Sirius is watched too carefully to get out to meet me. So? Do we have an agreement?" 

"Why not," James muttered. It's not like he had much to lose if this was a set-up. Besides that, what would anyone stand to gain from this? James was at the bottom of the pecking order these days. 

*

James hadn't looked this good in... well, years. After his mother died, he hadn't had much cause to dress up for events because he was no longer attending them. He'd looked nice for his father's marriage, but he'd gotten bigger since then. All the housework had made his shoulders broad enough that he wouldn't have fit in his old clothes anyways. 

The clothes Remus had conjured for him were gold. In another kingdom, that might have gotten him into trouble-- someone not royal wearing the colour that was usually reserved only for them-- but the Black family kept silver as their royal colour. James didn't think much of it until the Prince saw James out of the corner of his eye and immediately started working his way over. Was gold a signal colour for Remus and the Prince, and Remus had forgotten to tell him? That would certainly explain Remus's certainty that James would be able to pass along the message. 

James had that idea firmly in mind when the Prince got up close to him, a smirk making him appear even more handsome. Bloody hell, people who were born in royal families should not be allowed to be that gorgeous. There should be a rule that you can either be born into the most powerful family, or you can be the most handsome man on the planet. Being allowed to do both was going to make James's heart stop before he had a chance to really enjoy the ball. 

"Hello," the Prince said, smirk widening into a smile. "I'm Sirius." 

James was staring. He knew that he should say something, but he couldn't unstick his tongue from the top of his mouth. 

"This is the part where you tell me your name." 

"James. I'm er, James." 

"Nice to meet you James." Sirius glanced around them. "Are you here as an escort?" 

James snorted. He'd absolutely be murdered if his step-family discovered that not only was he here, but he was talking to the Prince. "Not as such, no." 

"Dance with me." 

"Aren't you supposed to ask, not order?" 

"Well you're not here to escort someone, which means you're here for me. If you're here for me, why would I bother to ask when the answer is going to be a yes?" 

"A fair point, if a touch unoriginal." 

"Unoriginal?" the Prince repeated, raising an eyebrow. He was still smiling though, so he wasn't offended. "I would like to think that I maintain most of my originality by not asking if you wanted to dance with me." 

"Ah, I guess that means I have to dance with you." 

The Prince's smile widened. "Quite." He offered his hand, and James let himself get pulled onto the dance floor. 

It had been a while since he'd been the center of attention, and he found that he still remembered how to deal with it. A hint of a smile as his resting his face, and he didn't make eye contact with anyone without making it seem like he was avoiding looking. That part was easy. The less easy part was pretending like he wasn't as effected by the Prince's presence as he was. It was one thing to meet him, smile at him, and exchange a few words. James had expected all of that as a matter of course when delivering the letter-- which he hadn't forgotten about, but he was going to wait for a time when less people were staring-- but now his hand was in the Prince's, and he had an arm wrapped around his waist. 

He wasn't pressed all against him so much as to be improper, but it was enough that James could feel the heat radiating from him. Their faces were close enough that he could see the flutter of dark eyelashes when the Prince blinked, could feel his breath, and see the light sheen of sweat across his brow. 

"So, James. What brings you to this disaster of a ball?" 

"Doesn't seem so disastrous to me." 

"That's because you're not the one everyone's groping. Not that you're not worthy of it," the Prince said with a wink. 

"You're the one that approached me, so I hope you don't consider this to be another unwanted grope," James said. The only thing worse than getting out of this party without having a good time, would be if he had a horrible time. If the Prince hated him after this, that would be... well, another disappointment to add to his life. One he certainly did not need. "And if you didn't want this ball, why are you holding it?" 

"My parents are holding it." 

"Ah. Well thank you for the dance all the same." 

"Don't go running off," the Prince said, arm tightening a fraction like he thought James was going to run for the hill. "You're the first decent person I've met all night." 

"Yes, with all that talking we've done." 

The Prince shrugged. "You're fit, as well. I won't say that had nothing to do with my decision. Mostly though, I liked your clothes. It takes stones to wear a traditionally royal colour to an event like this." 

"I can't say I had much to do with it." 

"Your parents give you as hard a time as mine?" 

"Not my parents, no. A friend of yours, actually. Bugger didn't even ask first. Personally, I would've gone with red." 

"Red's a good colour, if it doesn't make you look pale as a bloody ghost, that is. Who is this friend we seem to have in common?" 

There was a careful lightness to the Prince's words. He knew who James was going to say, but he wasn't going to out himself first. "Didn't catch a name," James lied. A description of Remus would get him in less trouble than saying his name. There wasn't any plausible deniability if he said the name. "Pleasant disposition. Had a few scars on his face." 

The Prince's arm tightened again, reflexively. "How is he?" he asked quietly. 

"He looked alright when I saw him. It's not like we're mates. He did me a favour, so I'm doing him one. I've got a letter for you from him." 

"Too many people watching right now." 

"I've noticed." 

The Prince hummed. "I suppose we should enjoy the rest of this dance, then." 

James hadn't been sure he would remember all the steps, but not once for the rest of the song did he step on the Prince's toes or turn the wrong direction. 

The Prince left him with a kiss on the cheek and a muttered, "I'll find you later, don't leave." 

*

"Did he get the letter?" Remus asked, and James nodded. 

He was out of his fancy clothes, but the confidence it had given him lingered. He used to be like this all the time. It used to be that he wouldn't have let his step-family push him around like they did, but he'd been blind with grief and done nothing. "Thanks for the clothes. I had fun." 

Remus glanced at him. "Aren't you going again tonight?" 

James shrugged. "One night was fun, but it's not as if I'm going to the ball for the reason everyone else is." 

"So? You wanted to enjoy yourself. The ball lasts for two more nights, and you have the suit for it. Besides, if I know Sirius, he'll send something in return. If you're not there, I'll have no one to retrieve it for me." 

It didn't take much convincing. 

*

The second night of the ball, the Prince greeted him with a bright smile. He slid a return letter to James at the beginning of the night, but he came back to keep dancing with him. Could James read into that? Could he expect that it meant something other than James was the point of contact between the Prince and Remus? 

The Prince, who kept coming to him dances and smiling like the was the damn sun of his life. The Prince, who kept telling James that he should call him Sirius instead of Your Majesty. The Prince, who at the end of the night, pressed a kiss to James's cheek that caught the corner of his mouth-- and not on accident. "You're coming back tomorrow night, yes?" 

"Not going to order it?" James joked to hide his nerves. 

"Haven't you heard the story? If you let something go and it returns to you, you get to keep it." The way Sirius kissed the back of his hand after saying it was innocent; the look he gave James as he did it was not. "I hope to see you again, James." 

James swallowed, said a perfunctory goodbye, and practically fled the ball. 

What was he doing? This was a favour for Remus. He was passing a few messages between two friends who couldn't see each other in person. That's it. 

*

"Are you going back tonight?" Remus asked, his gaze far too perceptive. 

"Not unless you have a return letter you need for me to pass." 

"I don't." 

James's shoulders sagged without him meaning for it to happen. 

"If you want an excuse, I could always manufacture one." 

James glared at him, but it had no effect. Remus calmly raised an eyebrow and held that expression until James cracked. "He acted like he wanted to see me." 

"And this is... bad?" 

"No, but Sirius said that he didn't like the ball. And then he goes and asks for me to come back." 

Remus didn't respond immediately, taking the time to choose his words carefully. "In my experience, Sirius doesn't ask for things he does not want. If he asked for you to come back, I believe that he means it in the same way you want it to mean. Whether or not you decide to go though," Remus said, turning his attention to the book he'd been reading when James came by, "do remember that the magic runs out after midnight. Like everything else in this world, it has a time limit." There was the weight of a world in what he wasn't saying, and it was impossible for James to miss it. 

*

"But... you came back," Sirius said, sounding crushed. His eyes were wide and uncomprehending. He still had a firm hand in James's jacket sleeve, the only place he'd been able to catch when James tried to run. 

James swallowed thickly. "I wanted to see you again." 

"Then stay." 

James shook his head. Remus's magic did a bit more than conjure the suit he was wearing; it had gotten rid of the cuts and burns on his hands and made him look presentable for high society in a way he hadn't been for years. He didn't want Sirius to see him like that. Sirius was... he was amazing. Too high up for James to be able to touch. Like a cloud in the sky, no matter how close it looked, he was too far away for James to hold and make his. 

"James no, please-" 

"I can't. I can't-" he shook his head again. He couldn't do this. He couldn't try only for it to fail or for Sirius's parents to decide that he wasn't a suitable match and be met with the same curse that had been laid on Remus. James wrenched his arm free, losing a button to Sirius's fingers, and he ran. He started running, and he didn't stop until after the spell ended, leaving him in his usual raggedy wardrobe. 

*

James opened the door and froze. How was Sirius- but no, that wasn't Sirius. James peered at him and decided that this must be another member of the royal family. Not old enough to be the King or Queen, but he was close enough in looks that he was definitely related to Sirius. 

"Can I help you?" he asked. 

Wordlessly, he held up the button that had been attached to James's jacket. "Magic is funny. Had it still been attached to the rest of the clothes, it would've vanished, but separated like that, it could be traced back to you. I'm Regulus, Sirius's brother." Regulus didn't have the same casualness to his posture that Sirius had had. He held himself a touch stiffly, like he was paying attention to a tutor instead of confronting someone who was basically a peasant. "He misses you rather terribly, you know. Won't shut up about it, as a matter of fact. Our parents told him that he had to choose someone to marry like they agreed, and he says that he did choose. However, since you refused to stay and went missing, they are at a stalemate." 

James swallowed. "That's not my problem," he said quietly. 

"Perhaps not," Regulus said in a way that meant he did not agree with James, "but it most certainly is my problem and I have no patience. You're coming with me." 

"That's kidnapping." 

"Not when you're a prince." 

"Do you really think you could force me?" James asked. He'd rejected Sirius once, and that was all he had the strength for. If he saw him again, he wouldn't be able to say no a second time. 

"I don't believe you're going to make it that big a problem for me. You see, you care for Sirius, whether you want to admit it or not. So when I say that if you don't come along, my parents will take drastic measures that will make Sirius very unhappy, I know you won't resist." 

"You're lying," James said, but he wasn't certain. He didn't know Sirius's parents, and he didn't know Regulus. 

"Is that a chance you're willing to take?" 

James grit his teeth. "I can't just leave in the middle of the day with no warning. My family-" 

"Will be taken care of," Regulus said with a careless wave. "Stop wasting time. I've got one rather incensed brother to calm down before trying to sell your relationship to our parents." 

*

"I can't believe you ran away from me," Sirius said, months after the ball and weeks after they'd gotten married-- the marriage would've been sooner had it not been a royal wedding and not needed as much planning. 

James snorted, working out a tangle in Sirius's hair with his fingers. "Frankly, I don't know what else you expected." 

"Something other than utter rejection at the hands of my one true love. A kiss, perhaps? A responding declaration?" 

James kissed the top of his head. "Love you." 

Sirius tilted his head to glare at him. "It doesn't count now. You needed to do it back then." 

There was no magic that James had heard of that could turn back time, and even if there were, he could neither do it nor have access to it. So, in lieu of saying he would fix it or would've done differently (a lie), James gave him a kiss that made the scowl disappear from his husband's face. "I think it counts just enough, saying it right now." 

Sirius grumbled a bit, but it was for show as he relaxed against him. 

[spookyspaghettisundae]

Things Below

Voices. Voices, everywhere. Emily peered out the window from the backseat of the patrol car. Locked in, but free to hear all these confusing voices. She could hear the thoughts of the people the car drove past, picking up fallout from the minds of people on the sidewalk.

“He gave me too much change. Tough shit, sucker. I’m not telling and I’m keeping it. Those stores are insured against this kind of—”

“I’m late, I’m late, I’m late; oh my god, I’m gonna lose my job. What about—”

“I forgot to lock the front door. To hell with whatever he’s saying, I’m sure as hell that I forgot—”

“Stop staring, dumbass. Jeeze, I think I need to jack off in a bathroom stall, otherwise she'll—”

Emily didn’t even care about reading the thoughts themselves. She used to figure people to be thinking drivel like this just by looking at them. No, the reporter wanted to see how well she could focus this ability—how well she could control it. As far as she was concerned, she had developed a superpower. With it, she could change the world.

Only one thing gave her reason for pause; gave her a reason to worry. If she wasn’t dreaming—if this all was real—then it meant the demon she had met at the delicate age of 21 had been real, too.

The edges of her vision turned into streaks, stretching into infinity, blending together in a wild blur of colors and shapes. She only caught glimpse of their faces, all unimportant and forgotten within seconds, but their thoughts reached her mind in fragments, like a rain of glass shards falling into a bottomless pit. Clipped, ripped out of context—like switching rapidly through radio stations and never hearing anything out.

Officer Stanton glanced back at Emily through the rearview mirror. Judging by his furrowed brow, he was concerned about her mental well-being. That was when she realized that her head kept bobbing erratically, moving on a constant swivel. She must have looked like a crazy person to this cop.

“Your nose,” he said after clearing his throat and training his eyes on the road again.

Confounded, Emily dabbed her nose, only to find blood on her fingers.

The splitting headache set in. Or it had been there all along, except that it now cranked the dial to eleven in the very second she stopped tuning in to the thoughts of all the passers-by. She muttered a short curse and a emitted a soft, nervous chuckle.

Looked like the superpower came with a little price tag.

But it had already paid off. Under other circumstances, she would have had to go out on a limb in trusting this “Officer Stanton.” Letting him lock her into the backseat like a common suspect or criminal. But what choice did she have? A bomb turned her apartment block into a blazing inferno, she woke up naked in a dumpster, and she had no phone, no money, and was now wearing the borrowed clothes of her friend Maria—who probably had her pegged as crazy and she should never talk to again.

Scanning Stanton’s thoughts had revealed a certain level of surprising purity. Blue-eyed, this shmuck hadn’t seen anywhere near the amount of horrid things Emily had seen in her time as an investigative reporter, looking into human trafficking and pedophile rings. He was as concerned as she was about Detective Tanner, her single only trustworthy contact in the police—who had gone missing.

Reading Stanton’s mind, Emily knew that this cop had his heart in the right place and was going out on a limb himself. She looked and sounded like a crazy person, had no identification, and lied to him first thing upon their meeting. He had a lot to lose himself.

And she couldn’t tell him everything she had witnessed.

“I was drugged and abducted,” she had admitted to him in that first encounter. Only part of the truth she could speak without sounding like she had lost every last marble.

The other part involved what she could only describe as a trip into hell, where she was hounded by an antagonistic demon she dubbed “Stinky Jim.”

Eight years ago, Emily met Stinky Jim for the first time, though she did not have such a name for the demon yet. Had she known it was real, she would have lost her mind. She would have been the Other Emily, the Lost Emily—the one sitting in a padded cell, rocking back and forth, gibbering, and disconnected from reality.

If her recent awakening—the event since when she could read minds and bend space itself—had taught her anything, then it was that reality itself was a strained, malleable concept.

Even human identity crumbled in the face of enlightened scrutiny.

Back when she was 21, working the sixth McJob in a row before she got smart, got her GED, and got into studying to become a reporter; she still hung out in a basement with the rest of the “gang.”

She remembered that night with stunning clarity. The edges on everything remained sharp. The dive in the basement of the home of Rodney’s parents had burned itself into the pages of her memory.

Her birthday—the night Emily turned 21.

Both on the surface and in all things below, she was a different person. Dyed her hair pink, piercings in her ears and on her brow, royal blue lipstick, torn heavy metal T-shirts. Loved ranting about politics, economy, and social justice; but never lifted a finger to do a damned thing about it.

Just like then. They were sitting in Rodney’s parents’ basement, sprawled out over ratty old couches and chairs with the TV set and old video game consoles, smoking weed, and the four boys listening to one of her many unnumbered tirades on LGBTQ+ rights.

“Shut the fuck up if you ain’t gonna do anything ‘bout it,” Chris told her. “Gay Chris,” as he was nicknamed, which didn’t bother him at all once they grew older—he wore the name like a badge of pride.

His voice cracked as he kept the smoke from the bong in his lungs and passed it on to Carlos, and Chris added, “The fuck do you know about any of that, straightie?”

That stunned Emily. That’s when everything clicked for her. When it all changed. Speechless, she silently agreed with him. Everything she knew about the gay experience was theoretical or secondhand, drawing from Chris’ experiences.

But that’s when she found her true calling.

She wouldn’t “shut the fuck up about it.” She refused to, because it would have been against her nature. She would do the legwork, and tell the world. She would relay the truth, even when it hurt, or when it got her and others into hot water. That would be her strength. Her destiny.

It would take till the end of that week and some feverish reading until she figured out that journalism was the way for her to go, but that was the same night when Emily really took the reins of her life into her own hands, and forged the path she now followed with furious determination.

Carlos chortled, then took a long toke from the bong before passing it on to Rodney. Emily remained silent.

With her most recent rant dead in the water, and the only active water being the one making the bubbling and churning sounds whenever anybody inhaled another hit from the bong, her thoughts drifted. The night of her birthday dragged on like many others in this very place, the matter of her birthday only standing out by the amount of weed they would have burned through by the end of the night.

She loved these boys like her brothers. Loved the countless nights they spent together, shooting the shit about their work, their messes of what could barely be described as love lives, playing video games together on the couch in this same basement and getting into swearing matches more heated than the actual gameplay, going to metal concerts together, or talking about philosophy and spirituality into the ungodliest hours of the morning.

Some time around 2 AM, Carlos had already passed out. He snored in the corner with a pile of empty potato chip bags and plastic bottles piled onto him like a work of art. Chris had gone home to get some sleep because of an early shift the next day. Only Jimmy, Rodney, and Emily remained. Stabbing Westward’s Ungod was playing back from the old iPod in a soft volume.

Rodney climbed back onto the couch and slid onto the cushions between Jimmy and Emily. His eyes were bloodshot from all the beer and weed they had been kicking back and he gave her a stupid grin.

“Got something special for this special occasion,” he said in a conspiratorial tone.

He unfolded his fingers and presented three little things. To Emily, they looked like stamps or pieces of perforated cardboard just resting on his palm, each of them marked with a pastel yellow smiley face.

Before either Emily or Jimmy could ask, Rodney said, “LSD, hoes. Lucy seeing diamonds—in the sky—or something. So, uh, anyway, how about we go on a real trip?”

Jimmy’s brow furrowed and Emily snickered at him. Buff Jimmy over there, the racing car enthusiast who loved tuning cars and speeding in them, accustomed to acting like the biggest badass of their little gang, was now all skeptical and intimidated by this harmless-looking drug resting in Rodney’s hand.

“Fuck it, why not?” Emily asked.

“Nah, I’ll pass,” Jimmy predictably said. “Y'know what, you should too. Also, I should get back home and get some sleep.”

Jimmy scrambled to leave, looking half asleep already, and muttered a goodbye to Carlos who continued to snore away, oblivious to everything going on now.

“Pussy,” Emily called out after Jimmy just before he flipped her off and closed the basement door behind himself.

Rodney and Emily got a good laugh out of Jimmy’s departure. Then Rodney turned his head and waggled his eyebrows at her, holding out the three slips of LSD still.

“I could put one back, or one of us takes two of ‘em,” he said, letting his voice rise sharply towards the end in challenge.

Emily squinted and then snatched two of them out of his palm.

“Happy fuckin’ birthday to me, I guess,” she said, grinning with him in challenge, wondering if he wasn’t going to chicken out himself.

She stuck her tongue out at him like she was about to lick Rodney’s face, then placed the two pieces of LSD on her tongue and retracted it. Swallowed.

“How long?” she asked.

“My dick?”

“Fuck you.”

Rodney cackled and told her it would take two hours. They settled on re-watching Scream—one of Emily’s favorite horror movies. They talked over the flick, as usual. Laughed as Carlos turned over in his sleep at one point, knocking over the pyramid of junk piled onto him without even waking up, and they both wondered loudly if they weren’t going to have a horror trip if they watched a horror movie while tripping on LSD, like the idiots they were.

The movie ended and Emily still couldn’t tell if the drug was having any effect on her system.

“Get me another beer, beer bitch,” she told Rodney, softly kicking him in his thigh while she drooped lazily over the other half of the couch.

He got up and went to the small fridge in the corner of the room. She blinked and wondered why he did that without giving her any lip. Even on her birthday, Rodney wasn’t wont to do what she told him to. Returning to her, he uncapped the bottle of beer and held it out to her.

She took it and looked at him in disbelief. Rodney himself looked befuddled. He blinked and looked around. Was the LSD finally kicking in for him? If so, why was it taking so long for her?

If him tripping balls meant he was a compliant little sheep, she was going to have some fun with this. She pulled out her flip phone and started recording a grainy video on the device.

“Hey, Rodney, why don’t you stand on one foot and spin around in a circle for the audience,” she told him, biting her lip and sensing that he would do exactly as told.

And he did. Almost stumbling over the coffee table and falling onto his ass in the process, he did exactly that. Emily covered her mouth to stifle a giggle. She stared at him through the display of her phone, making sure to capture his dumbfounded facial expressions.

“Rodney, tell the world how much of a little skanky whore you are,” she said, mouth agape with a grin so wide that it almost hurt her cheeks.

“I’m such a little skanky whore that I’d eat Paris Hilton’s ass with whipped cream and a cherry on top,” he said, slurring it out as if his consciousness slipped farther away into a trance or delirium with each additional word.

Emily burst out laughing, “You will never live this one down when the others see the video, dipshit.”

Yet something crept up behind Emily. A dark, foreboding sense of something alien and sinister. It only reached the back of her mind with a delay: she heard Rodney’s thoughts before he did or said anything that she told him to. Or rather, she projected her self into him and he complied, pliable like a piece of wet cardboard.

These thoughts made more sense now, in the present, when she knew she could read minds. But back then, she had chalked it up to the acid trip. The day after, she would go back to her normal life, letting the details fade away into oblivion, dismissing them as nightmarish nonsense.

Except for the knock on the door.

Not the door leading in and out of the basement, but the door to the boiler room. A room where nobody should have been inside.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she stared at it, wide-eyed and terrified. Rodney followed her gaze because she willed him to pay just as much attention to it.

Knock knock. Again.

Or rather: THUMP THUMP. Deep, bass. Menacing.

“Rodney, go check on the clown hiding in there,” Emily told Rodney, not even thinking things through. She couldn’t even chalk it up to the booze and drugs.

All she knew was that she feared whatever awaited behind that door.

Like sleepwalking, Rodney approached the boiler room door. Twisted the knob. Opened it.

A soft red light glowed, engulfing him. A light out of this world. It flickered, danced—like flames. But no heat or fire awaited beyond the door. Only madness.

Emily walked there herself, intrigued by the mysterious light. Her whole body tingled with dread, yet she could not help but approach. She knew deep down, lurking beneath the surface of her thoughts, that something evil awaited there. Something that would drive her insane. She didn’t need to approach, should have turned and fled from Rodney’s basement. But curiosity won out over common sense.

She stood next to him and peered into the place beyond the door.

There was no boiler room there. Instead of the dingy little room with the big cylindrical something, some old plastic crates, and a bunch of pipes and valves—a flight of stairs stretched down, winding around a curve. The fiery red light flickered from the depths, beckoning her.

“Rodney, go lie down and sleep.”

He acknowledged her order, not speaking the affirmation out loud but just thinking it. Emily, however, didn’t even register how the thought had reached her like a spoken word. She could taste his dread riding on the back of those thoughts—salty, smooth, bitter, clamping his throat shut and cutting his breath short.

But her eyes fixated on these stairs. Made of obsidian, covered in strange, indecipherable symbols, bearing names on each step. Names of the lost and the damned. The forgotten and the famous. She could not read them, but she knew the names were important. She would read them again one day, but that was not this day.

Rodney laid down onto the couch and fell asleep within an instant. His thoughts turned into a soup of drugged dreaming and Emily shut them out, probing for any presence at the bottom of those stairs. To see if anything dwelt there, any things below.

“Come on down and find out,” something replied. Not in words, but thoughts. Smoky, crackling like wood in a fireplace, with embers rising into a dark and starry night.

Emily took her first step down those stairs in this other-space. Then another. And another. She tread down this path, and the stairwell narrowed as it twisted and turned on her way downward. She burned with curiosity to find what things lay hidden in the depths.

The door slammed shut behind her and something laughed. Something in a deep, bellowing baritone, like a monster straight out of some horror movie. The laughter died down into a chortle, egging her on to turn around and see for herself.

Fear overtook her and prevented her from turning to behold this demon. This madness. She knew it was there, right behind her. Fetid breath rhythmically struck the exposed skin of the back of her neck. The thing was huge, like a man two heads taller than her.

“If you don’t have the balls to look at me, then you better keep movin’, little girl,” the demon spoke to her, cackling some more. The words carried the air of a threat. “What are you afraid of finding down here, anyway?”

More laughter. Sinister. Knowing. Knowing her deepest, darkest desires, and secrets she would learn in the future

Her heart thumped against her chest, pounding so hard that it threatened to explode out of her rib cage any minute now. And whether she was tripping on the LSD, having an overly vivid nightmare, or this was indeed real, she dreaded turning around and instead continued on her descent.

“Welcome to the maze, Emily,” the thing’s voice crackled. Flames licked from its voice and the biting smells of charcoal smoke and sulfur filled her nostrils, stuck to her tongue. Way too real to be imagined, yet even now, she struggled to explain how this experience or even this memory could be real.

Because right now, she sat on the backseat of Officer Stanton’s car. But the vivid recollection of this memory sliced through time and space, reaching her in the now. The demonic presence still lingered, lurking behind her, occupying the space in her mind.

The unwanted guest renting one of the rooms in the mindscape of Motel Emily. The neon sign of vacancy flickered unsteadily.

Where the stairs wound down further, she reached a door branching out to the side. Or rather, the word “door” didn’t really cut it. It was a stone portal, covered in more symbols or otherworldly runes.

Without thinking, she pushed it open, hoping to find escape from this place, praying to reach Rodney’s basement again, or appear back in Stanton’s patrol car. The past and the present started bleeding together. Had she really experienced all this, back then? Was this the madness, overtaking her mind, surfacing now, tainting the present and overwriting reality?

“This is as real as it gets, bitch,” the demon said, cackling yet more.

The pink-haired Emily celebrating her 21st birthday and tripping on LSD didn’t understand what she saw beyond the portal once she strained herself, putting her legs and back into pushing it open, her nerves fraying with each inch accompanied by the sounds of stone grinding against stone.

Beyond that portal, she saw another Emily, stripped half-naked, handcuffed to a curtain rack, with some man with a painted face sliding a knife into her exposed back. Bodies of the dead and the dying littered the dark and ruined room of some derelict house in that place and Helpless Emily screamed in agony.

Younger Emily gasped and backed away from this scene of carnage and despair, recalling a memory of something yet to come, which Present Emily knew already and remembered as the time the Grinning Man came close to killing her.

The man with the knife, with the face painted to display a horrid grin over a face of cold and sociopathic indifference, turned to look at Younger Emily. She pulled, tugged at the portal with all her might, desperate to close it before something worse happened.

The Grinning Man, that serial killer, turned from Tortured Emily. He tilted his head, staring into the stone portal in disbelief, studying its frame. Before Younger Emily succeeded in fully shutting the portal, he approached with swift steps, ready to pass from one place into another.

But she slammed it shut just in time, just before she could decipher shouts from beyond the portal.

Worse, the demon remained. Right behind her.

She dared not turn around completely to look upon its horrid visage, but glimpsed it from the corner of her eye. Red like a devil, covered in spikes and horns and smiling at her with a maw lined with rows and rows of jagged, shark-like teeth. Blackened, knife-shaped claws opening and closing in anticipation, ready to rip her to shreds if she looked at it for too long.

It cackled again and Emily continued down the stairs.

“That was you,” it said. “That’ll be you, in the future. You fuck-up. Nobody’s proud of you, Emily. Accomplishing nothing of value. Only watching people die in squalor and misery. You are nothing but a worthless witness. A voyeur in a voyeuristic world.”

Hearing the demon speak in such a modern vernacular and imagining to be such a clichéd presence clashed in her mind, and she almost turned to confront the creature. But she read its thoughts and they mirrored her own.

The first time she realized that turning only meant embracing the madness, and ending up in that padded little room, all alone, locked inside her head with drugs—and not the sort that Younger Emily found fun.

Picking up the pace, she continued down the winding, hellish stairs. The walls drew closer together with each step, never moving, but converging in angles that made her descent more claustrophobic with each passing moment.

Present Emily knew she had to break free of this memory, because it was bleeding into reality. The demon was taking hold. She dabbed more blood from her nose and barely perceived the world outside the patrol car, rolling by. This memory was real, made even more real through recent realizations, and recalling it now was rendering it even more visceral than ever before. The knowledge of Present Emily collided with the memories of Younger Emily and they coalesced. They coagulated.

She passed by another stone portal, almost screaming at what she felt from behind it. Younger Emily did not know what awaited there, but Present Emily did not want to see it, and the two of them refused to push it open and look inside.

“Yeah, you keep walkin’, you hypocritical asshole. Eager to discover the truth, but just another chickenshit,” the demon said.

Instead of the inevitable laughter she expected to ensue, the demon growled with anger, reflecting a rage welling in her bowels, only overshadowed by the terror and fear now gripping her heart and driving her down the stairs, faster and faster.

“He’s dead, Emily. Julian’s dead, and it’s all your fault,” the thing snarled.

Its hoofed feet thundered down the steps behind her, keeping pace with ease, the hulking presence chasing her down deeper into this pit of insanity.

“No,” she finally dared to reply, but the demon mimicked her word, mocking her. Then she repeated herself, “No, that’s not my fault. Not like with the others. Not everything is my fault.”

“Maybe not directly, but what if you never entered his life? What if he hadn’t been on that parking lot, that day? He might not have had some crazy stalker cave his skull in with a two-by-four. So maybe it’s still your fault,” the demon growled.

“Shut up,” she said. Then screamed it. “Shut the fuck up!”

“Yeah, shut the fuck up if you’re not going to do anything about it, right, Emily?”

The demon’s voice reached a fever pitch and now chased her. She ran, taking multiple steps down the well in strides, pushing through the narrow pathways, wasting no time to wonder how the demon’s sheer mass could fit through here behind her. The stink of fear erupted from her pores in a sheen of sweat, the heat of this hell engulfing her, and the stench of burning flesh rising from the depths.

The stone walls wriggled. They were not made of obsidian anymore, but worms. Millions and millions of pitch-black worms, things that did not belong in reality but were all too real. Slippery, alive. Writhing, as the mass reached out to her like walls of tiny fingers covered in myriads of chomping little mouths, provoking a shriek of terror to escape Emily’s throat, and the demon to laugh its sadistic laugh at her.

“Run, Emily! Run away, you disgusting fucking coward!” The demon spoke in many voices, those of Chris, her father when he slapped her cheek, the monster on her heels, and even herself. They all blended together. One of many, many in one.

There it was again: rocking back and forth, drool dripping from the corner of her mouth. White, padded walls all around.

Was she truly there? Was this even real? Was her entire life just a lie? Figments of her imagination, trying to make sense where none was to be made?

The stairs split into different pathways and Emily knew what to do. Present Emily wiped more blood from her nose and stared at her bloodied fingers in disbelief. Younger Emily had discovered her destiny, was glimpsing horrors from her future. Of the three possible ways to go, she squeezed into the narrowest one, screaming silently as she felt the wriggling mass of worms engulf her with the heat of a thousand fires, causing her skin to blister and painfully peel back. She clenched her teeth shut and feared the things entering through any orifices but pushed forward.

She had to live. She had to fulfill her destiny. She remembered all the people who died, or rather, those who would die.

She could change the world, but only if she didn’t give in now.

“Shit, I’ll give you a tissue once we reach the precinct,” Stanton said. His offer; his words helped, centering her in the now. The words he spoke bled through into that dark place where Younger Emily found herself, an unknown voice from a stranger from another world, or another time, piercing the veils of different realities, and guiding her through this horrid darkness.

The demon grunted and cackled and choked on the worms entering its maw as it squeezed itself through the narrow, suffocating passageway, following Emily without fail. It clawed its way forth, causing a cacophony of disgusting squelching noises, and sensations that reminded her of bones snapping to the point of sharp edges bursting through skin and protruding from human flesh, and teeth gnashing on exposed innards with blood spurting out, gushing, and the reek of feces in the air.

Her eyes long clamped shut, she dared not breathe but had to, and felt first worms trying to wriggle their way into her mouth. She sputtered and spat them out with an angry scream, controlling the rage that drove her, clawing her own way forth, mimicking the demon’s motions. Or it mimicked hers.

The stairs went upwards and she ascended, pulling her way through the narrowest spot of these walls of worms, fleeing up the stairs. The demon tumbled, but then continued giving chase on all fours, like the beast that it truly was. Like the beast in the back of her head, the madness always just a few steps behind her.

“You can’t get away from me,” Stinky Jim cackled, only to abruptly choke on his words, gagging and coughing up more worms. Through rows of bloodied, gritted teeth, he said, “I am always with you, Emily.”

She tripped, fell, scraped her hands on the jagged edges of the obsidian steps, right in front of one of the names inscribed upon the stairs: Xerxes. Younger Emily blinked, did not quite register what it meant until years later, first dismissing this memory and experience as a bad trip, induced by popping too much acid and being tired out of her mind.

Screams echoed through the infinite, infernal stairwell, bouncing off the walls and curdling her blood until she realized: the screams were her own. The demon’s growling matched them, blended in with them, and she screamed in pain as claws dug into her back, lifting her onto her feet and pushing her up a few steps until she ran on yet farther, stumbling forth and upwards, ever away from the madness that followed her wherever she went, ever away from the things below.

The things below the surface of her mind. The horrid things she pushed deep down to still her mind; the darkness she drowned in whiskey and cigarettes even as she grew older.

This could have been her awakening but she skidded right past it. It wouldn’t be for years until she had her world turned upside down. Never realizing the power she held. The demon followed closely, keeping her blood pumping and the adrenaline flowing like fire in her veins.

She reached a stone portal at the top of the stairs and pushed it open. Instead of meeting resistance and stone grinding upon stone once more, it swung open with ease. She burst right through it and stumbled again.

Catching her breath, wheezing, lungs screaming but only pained sounds emerging from her lips, she looked around. There was no demon behind her. Younger Emily, with her pink hair, and her piercings, and completely stoned, stood in Rodney’s basement. Behind her was only the door to the boiler room.

Rodney slept on the couch, curled up into a fetal position. Carlos slept on the chair, sprawled out, still blanketed by some empty plastic wrappers. Static on the TV screen.

Emily ripped the door to the boiler room open, needing to know if that had been real, but there was no hellish stairwell behind it. Just the regular old boiler room that it should have been, reeking of oil.

The demon’s laughter echoed in her mind. She checked the time, noting how many hours had passed and chalking this whole experience up to a bad acid trip after all. She didn’t go home, afraid to be followed or stalked out there in the dark and cold and wet autumn streets, all alone.

Even though she found blood when she wiped her nose, Younger Emily figured it fit. Demons and hell weren’t real. She didn’t have the power to control minds or enter strange otherworlds.

She curled up on the end of the couch, wrapping herself in a smelly old blanket that Rodney should have washed weeks ago. Although she thought the nightmarish imagery and things she had just witnessed would keep her up until the other two boys woke up, exhaustion dragged her into the realm of sleep within minutes.

Emily sat in the back of Stanton’s car, finally escaping from this memory. She looked out the window, at the people in the streets of New Haven. Instead of reading their minds, scanning their thoughts, and testing the limitations of her newfound powers, she decided against any of that.

“I’m still here,” the demon said—Stinky Jim. He sat right next to her, just out of sight.

The fear welled up again, churning in her guts as if the monster gripped her stomach with a claw and twisted.

“I’ll always be with you, Emily. Just one step behind. You ever want the security of that little padded room—to surrender all responsibility, let the world sort itself out and sink into darkness while you drool in the corner—you just turn back. Let me take the wheel,” Stinky Jim said. He cackled again, showing no hint of mercy.

“Or you keep going deeper down, scratchin’ at those wriggling walls, and dive into those lakes of blood and shit and fire. Find out what’s beneath the surface. Drown in the secrets of those things below, or spit ‘em out and curse the world with your wretched knowledge.”

More cackling.

Emily clamped her eyes shut. She willed Stinky Jim to shut up.

She centered herself. Pushed away every thought. Blocked it all out—she had gained that much control over it now. Focused.

Breathed.

Pushed the demon deep down, where it would lurk. And wait.

With the things below.

—Submitted by Wratts

[chromsai]

lmao y’all wanna start somethin huh?

listen, if z//x/l was like a 5/10 (generously), vr has so far been like barely a 1/10... 

it’s not good at all and unlike zxl where i can see the appeal and why there are fans that may still like it, i can’t... fathom or understand why anyone would like this garbage. there is nothing appealing about it to me. any interest i had in the premise of this show has long since gone down the drain...

the character designs have been just horrid (like zxl had mostly bad designs, but this show by far takes the cake on bad designs), every character has the same fucking backstory (i am fully convinced that everyone’s parents died in The Car Accident. yeah, the same one. it was a pile up, clearly) like i can’t feel sad for anyone being an orphan or whatever WHEN THAT IS THE NORM apparently for characters in this world. 

season 1 was so damn predictable (ironically it was just a rehash of zxl 2), and season 2, guess what, has been the same exact thing. DON’T TRY TO TELL ME OTHERWISE BECAUSE THIS SEASON IS WRAPPING UP ALSO WITH EVERYONE *BUT* PM DEAD AND A 4 EPISODE DUEL. only difference is that the final boss this season isn’t a “bishounen” (by the stretchiest stretch of the word cuz god re/v//olver is butt ugly) so that’s why i’ve seen more fans hate it than last season. 

i don’t understand how this show already has 2 sound duels out because god wtf?? there’s no good music in this show? it all sounds so hollow, generic, and just plain lifeless. 

the animation hasn’t been at all impressive either (no, somewhat consistent animation with on-model characters where the characters hardly ever move DOESN’T equal /good/ animation, it’s LAZY). the animators don’t seem to care to properly convey emotions though tbf what emotions??? these characters are so bland (and yet some people think that makes them “cool” or “edgy” *rolls eyes*). the most expressive character has been takeru/so//ulburner (fuck i couldn’t remember his name for a hot minute...) who was somewhat fun for a while but he turned out to be grossly undermining mental illness too so i lost all hope and respect for him (though i still think he’s the best character in this show and should have been the protagonist, though the bar was already so low in this show to begin with...). 

the girls in this show get no respect at all. a//oi is the punching bag of every other male character that challenges her (she beat that one girl scientist because of some philosophy she pulled outta her ass, she beat some mooks no one cares about, and then she beat that one little kid idk his name who was EXPLICITLY stated to only be being used to stale for time because they knew he wasn’t gonna win anyway WOOHOO SHE BEAT A CHARACTER THAT ALREADY HAD NO CHANCE WOW HOW IMPRESSIVE) and then she’s used for man pain and brocon appeal.... but sure she gets a makeover every 3 weeks so OFC SHE’S GROWING AND CHANGING AND GETTING STRONGER WTF AM I TALKING ABOUT OFC OFC. emma... would be a decent character... but she doesn’t really get much to do... also, there was that whole implication that she had a thing for PM and i’m like uhhhh she’solderthanhimandhe’saminor YIKES.... and then she gets ousted too... “BUT SAI WHAT ABOUT QUEEN” what about her? she does nothing besides show off her boobs and act like the Head Bitch In Charge and then doesn’t show up til the next summer either. y’all don’t even know if she duels... but sure, go off about how vr writes women well... so inspiring...

oh geez what else.... oh yeah i love when people complaining about production issues like.... y’all are going on your second year of this show. stop. you guys know that’s not an excuse anymore. you’re almost 100 episodes in. it wasn’t even a plausible excuse at the beginning of the show anyway... production issues stemming from “limited budget” “BECAUSE OF THE MOVIE/A5″ that doesn’t fucking count. it’s not an excuse. 

nobody likes Link summoning. japanese players have boycotted it at certain tournaments. that says something... 

this show is so fucking melodramatic and “dark” at no real expense. it’s like... so uninteresting. it is actively uninteresting. 

man i can’t wait for jumpfesta this year to announce that this show is gonna end. sure they’ll show us a pv of the next ygo most likely but mostly i’m looking forward to this show just ending. it is just so ugly, inside and out.

[bucklebombreviews]

Bruised and Barbed 1: ECW Hardcore TV episode 1

Hello everybody and welcome to this the first entry in the bruised and barbed series.  Today we will be starting our journey and look at the very first episode of ECW Hardcore TV, that’s ECW as in Eastern Championship Wrestling.  This takes place on April 6th, 1993 from the ECW bingo hall.  I watched the WWE Network version of this so any music or video that has been changed I am unaware of on this one.  Anyway let’s start this journey through the Saved By The Bell era nineties and get into the show.  

Our show starts out with the most knackered early 90s music as we get a super low quality video that looks like it was filtered through and edited by a teenager taking a break from PornHub and first discovering Windows Movie Maker.  Oh boi what have I started.  It gets better though as we are sent over to part of the commentary team of Stevie Wonderful and Jay Sullie, and holy shit look at the fucking ramen mullet on Wonderful.  It’s Joe Dirtyful and gives me the weirdest feelings in my pants.  Aside from that I can already tell that Sullie is as boring and bland as wall paper paste, oh well still better than most of the commentary team on modern WWE.  Soon after the commentary team introduces itself they bring out the owner of ECW Tod Gordon.  Gordon looks like every Jewish big businessman from every movie and TV show in the 80s.  Anyway Tod announces that on this week's episode and upcoming episodes they will be holding a tournament for the tv title, awesome I’ll mark my calendar.  After this the commentary team announces that there will be a third man with them and out comes Hot Stuff Eddie Gilbert.  Gilbert tries to get himself over as the first heel on screen by trying to get into the commentary team and yelling when it is revealed that the third is Terry Funk.  Funk comes out and is just wonderful, corny but wonderful.  Funk is an obvious and predictable face here as it is pretty apparent that he is going to be more than a commentator soon.  During all this Terry is called a living legend, holy shit this is 93 and he is called a living legend that was over 25 years ago.  Man’s fucking old and been through some serious wars.  

First Match: Super Destroyers © V Hell Riders

Our First match on ECW Hardcore TV is that of the Tag Team Champions Super Destroyers versus the Hell Riders.  Before The match even starts our ears are assaulted by the Super Destroyers manger and mouth piece who is horrid, and I’m sorry guy if these big lads can produce poetry in motion I’ll put my wiener in a vice.  The match starts with the Hell Riders rushing the Super Destroyers followed by a shit brawl, riveting.  Throughout the match the commentary team cannot decide which Super Destroyer is which, honestly at this point I don’t care because it is obvious that this is a glorified squash match for the champions and not even a good one.  The match drags on and on with some tame spots here and there and ends with a standing splash thing from one of the super destroyers to end the match, fucking yawn.  

The whole match the crowd is dead silent, not a good sign for the champions especially on the first televised episode.  Even more so since it was a squash match where they could get all there shit in to try and get the crowd to pop even a little bit, even if they are heels they should have been able to get some sort of heat reaction but nothing at all.  After the match the Funker goes out to get an interview with the Super Destroyers manager, who at this time we learn is named Hunter Q Robins the Third as if it fucking matters at all.  An this guy would not quit screaming for the life of him.  Terry manages to quip something at the sad man and gets the biggest pop of the match.  This is beyond sad and signifies to me that it would not be surprising to me if these guys lost the tag belts within the next 3 or so episodes.  

Segment: Sandman

Let me first explain how I remember the Sandman.  Now remember that I have very limited exposure to ECW but I remember him as a cane swinging, beer chugging, ruffian.  Holy shit where the early nineties a different time for the Sandman.  

The Sandman is a surfer gimmick, in retrospect that makes sense but holy shit did he make a big jump not too long from 93.  In the veneit he wears a shoot wet suit, giving me weird flashbacks to Kaval.  The surfboard he brings to the ring puts this whole thing over the top for me, sunglasses sure fine whatever, but a surfboard?  This guy is an obvious face what the fuck is he going to do with a surfboard in the ring besides have the heels hit him with it.  I think we can all agree that if this guy isn’t using the fisherman's buster/suplex for his finish or at the very least the surfboard stretch then they were missing out in the creative department.  

    I’m not sure if the music here on the network is the original or not but it sounds like the worst Beach Boys knock off ever, and the editing looks like that same teenager from the beginning found the fade out tools in Movie Maker and made it take an uncomfortably long time.  At the end it tops it all off by saying that this guy is the current Heavyweight Champion, on a show that just started.  This guy, everybody praise Saved By The Bell.  

    Match 2: TV Title tournament Sal Bolomo V Tommy Cairo

    Before the match starts we go to Terry Funk who gets a small interview with Tommy Cairo who is at this time undefeated.  Cairo tries to get over ECW as a whole, I’m sure to try and get some more money out of his appearance, as well as saying when the iron man comes to town everyone else goes down.  OH MY!  Terry gets really animated and excited for this guy and the crowd pops a little bit, holy shit the crowd isn’t silent.  I think this guy is the first likeable character to come on the screen besides the Funker.  

    The announcer starts by introducing Sal’s manager the Cosmic Commander, who is the second likeable figure to be on the screen just for the fact that I am wondering what type of drugs they had to consume to come up with not only that name but the gimmick as well.  Let's combine businessman attire with a red coat and space turban, holy shit this is the next great cosplay move over Max Moon.  We also find out that it is Sal “Wildman” Bolomo, makes sense a wildman in roman soldier garb, fuck yes makes so much sense.  

    The match starts off about as fast as a snail in a tar pit with a collar and elbow into an armdrag, and we repeat that spot because it was so exciting.  Then Cairo shows his strength by pretty much shaking off a hammer lock.  This is followed by some boring corner brawling and a submission attempt by the Wildman.  Then some tape degradation, wonderful.  Cairo gets rolling again and it becomes pretty obvious that the Wildman has no gas in his tank and goes from rest hold to rest hold.  So far there has been a mediocre amount of selling and very little attempts to target any sort of limb to even make all these rest holds and dead submissions even make a little bit of sense, it's super disappointing.  At one point Cairo no sells a headbutt to do a standing splash.  This is followed by the Cosmic Commander distracting the ref just for his guy to get hit by an interfering Johnny Hotbody.  This is super confusing because the distraction led to his own guy suffering and ultimately getting counted out.  

This leads to even more immediate confusion because I presumed that Cairo was the face, he did break a few rules during the match such as getting up on the middle rope, the most dangerous rope, to do some punches to Bolomo but nothing so serious I would consider him a heel.  This is soon washed away though when Hotbody goes to the ring to attack Cairo, only to end up brawling to the back.  A disappointing end to a disappointing match.  

Match 3: Tony “Hitman” Stetson V Rockin’ Rebel

During the introduction and very early in the match it is revealed that Rebel is the number 1 contender for the heavyweight belt and Stetson is a part of the number 1 contenders for the tag belts.  I love this and think that it is something lost on modern wrestling today,  just because you are at the top or near the top of your division does not mean that you should not have interesting matches with people at or near the top of other divisions.  I think this is especially so for tag team wrestlers.  Just because you are a tag team specialist should not mean that you forgot how to work a singles match, and through singles matches maybe some tag guys could get over parts of their character that may not get to be showcased in a tag match against a really good singles opponent.  This type of match also shows that the whole locker room is aware of the rest of the card instead of being delegated to there own little bubble.  Over all I think booking like this could lead to some very interesting interactions.  Go early ECW.

I’d like to start off this match by pointing out some obvious gimmick infringement, by this time Bret Hart had already been at the top of the card in the Fed.  Stetson needed to change at least his moniker to avoid obvious comparisons that I will jump off a limb and predict that he couldn’t live up to.  

Hey do you remember how the last match started because that’s how this one starts, arm drags for everyone.  This is horrid on the part of these guys because it means that they did not watch the last match nor care to ask the guys in the match before what some of their spots were going to be .  This shows laziness and is something that could’ve been easily avoided.  I am at least happy to say that in the early parts of this match Stetson starts working the left arm of Rebel, good on him.  The only problem is that Rebel doesn’t sell this at all, boo.  This confuses me because at this time we are in the NWA associated Eastern Championship Wrestling which is supposed to be built on some old school principals, the fact that there has been a lack of selling and limb targeting confuses and upsets me.  Anyway these two have a pretty good back and forth game some drop kicks some splashes what have you, pretty much the same shit we’ve been seeing all night.  This culminates in Stetson getting a near fall on Rebel being stopped by a rope break.  This is followed by Rebel doing almost a lazy pin in the corner winning by putting his legs on the ropes.  This gets him a little heat, not much though.  

This is followed by a ringside interview where I can see where Rebel’s talents really lie.  He’s obviously not the best talker ever and he has some very annoying things that he does, such as continuously pointing at the camera.  He gets over how it’s a privilege to get an interview with him and how he is going after Sandman.  At the end he does gimmick infringe a bit on Ric Flair and he does yell a bit much for his style of talking but overall it was far from the worst thing on this show.  

Match 4: TV Tournament Jimmy Snuka V Larry Winters

Holy shit Jimmy has obviously been banging the roids, if the camera was better I’m sure he would have backne everywhere.  He’s fucking huge.  

Jimmy Snuka also cannot talk, this is made evident almost immediately.  He reveals that he has a new manager Hot Stuff Eddie Gilbert.  Gilbert comes out and tries to get over his managerial firm (?) of Hot Stuff International.  

  The match starts with Snuka dominating Winters with strikes and putting him on the ropes.  Gilbert is cheating often by choking Winters.  Snuka does an atrocious botch on a back body drop, ends up falling with Winters, way to go roidy magoo.  The match rolls on with Winters getting squashed and Gilbert continuing to get involved.  Winters did get momentum for about 2 seconds before Snuka continues beating him down.  Winters did get another head of steam with some nicely times whips and tackles, even doing a correct back body drop.  Gilbert gets involved and causes Snuka to take momentum again.  Snuka ends up winning with a top rope splash.  After the match ends Snuka throws Winters out cementing himself as a top heel.  Oh my what have we done to deserve this.  

Match 5: Sal Bellomo V Ernesto Benefico

This Match sucks.  This big slow boring fuck in Sal Bellomo who we seen earlier inserts himself into this match and squashes Benefico in a matter of seconds.  This did nothing for him at all considering the lazy show he put on earlier.  This was short, boring, and all it did was hurt Beneficos character.  

Ending Segment

The show ends with Tod Gordon and Terry Funk getting over the continuation of the TV tournament and that sandman would be there next week.  Terry tries to get over that this show is new different and fresh,  now I don't think it is but in the future it could be.  

Closing Remarks

This show was obviously done on a shoestring budget,  the cameras were crap with the second camera especially having its color balance off drastically in a few matches mainly the Rebel match, the sound was hardly there in a lot of spots, and the venue was obviously a community center.  I admire that they did everything they could with what they had but man does that make this a hard watch at times.  

The Wrestling was very underwhelming even for what I thought it was going to be.  I knew that the amount of high spots would be nonexistent but I was at least expecting some good ring psychology and limb working.  I didn’t even get that, what you end up with is 5 matches that all feel mostly the same with everybody pretty much working the same moveset.  I can’t even say that many of them got there characters over that well in this episode besides the big heels in Rebel, Gilbert, and Snuka.  And even then what exactly are there characters and motivations.  I can't tell you much more than Rebel wants the Sandman's title, Gilbert is full of himself and doesn't like Terry Funk, and Snuka might want to be the tv champion but that isn't even exactly clear.  

As far as the commentary team goes I can tell that they were still finding what they were supposed to be.  Wonderful was the heel but didn't exactly get a whole lot of heel dialog in.  Jay Sullie is boring and bland but gets out some information.  Terry Funk does the most in trying to get himself over as a top face and try to slowly build to a match with gilbert.  

Over all this episode was tough to get through but had some fun moments.  I know that the first year of ECW will be a hard one to get through because it is before it really finds its feet but i'm excited to get through it.

Show rating: 2 out of 5 yams

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior Jan. 24, 2020 – THE GENTLEMEN, THE TURNING, THE LAST FULL MEASURE

If you read last week’s column, you’ll already know that I’m no longer with The Beat, so I’ll more than likely be doing all of my box office stuff here for a while. I just won’t promise to write so much about each movie as I did in my Box Office Preview, because a.) I don’t have time, and b.) I’m not getting paid to write this. Sorry if that’s a bit too blatantly honest, but getting paid for my writing matters to me, especially having done it for 25 years.

Before I forget, tonight, Wednesday, January 22, I’m hosting a 30thanniversary screening of Brain Dead, the freaky thriller starring Bills Pullman and Paxton, Bud Cort and George Kennedy. If you’re looking to check out crazy mind-fuck of a movie from 1990, there are still a few tickets left.

Anyway, it’s probably a good thing I didn’t get paid for last week’s column cause I way, way, WAY underestimated the power of Will Smith and Martin Lawrence to bring in audiences after 17 years since Bad Boys II. I thought the movie would make somewhere between $35 and 40 million over the four-day weekend, but it ended up making almost $60 million just over the three-day weekend, and $73 million for the four day, the second best after American Sniper. Obviously, Sony is already developing a fourth movie in the series and presumably they won’t wait another 18 years. Personally, I really liked Bad Boys for Life, as it was way better than Bad Boys II and it was a generally enjoyable and entertaining action-comedy.

Universal’s Dolittlealso did more than I predicted, but it wasn’t as vastly different, just closer to my original prediction last Wednesday before I thought I might be overestimating and lowered it. Waugh, Waugh…

Let’s get to this week…

The movie I’m most excited about this week is THE GENTLEMEN (STXfilms), which is Guy Ritchie’s return to ensemble crime comedy after his foray into large-scale Disney adaptations like Aladdin, which I quite liked, and his “Sherlock Holmes” movies, the first of which I also loved.  Ritchie has a great cast for this one including Matthew McConaughey, Charlie Hunnam, Colin Farrell, Hugh Grant, Henry Golding (from Crazy Rich Asians and the underrated 2019 film Last Christmas), Michelle Dockery (from Downton Abbey) and one of my favorite character actors, Eddie Marsan! Honestly, I don’t know very much else about the movie (as I’m only seeing it on Monday night) but I loved what I saw at CinemaCon last year, and I’ve just been such a huge Ritchie fan going all the way back to Lock, Stock and Two Smokin’ Barrels. (Sadly, I wasn’t able to interview him for this movie due to my other part-time job, but you’ll get an actual review instead!)  Also, I think the movie will do decently but probably not more than $10 million since STX is dropping it into around 2,000 theaters, which isn’t particularly wide.

Mini-Review: Back in the late ‘90s, when Guy Ritchie first made his big debut with Lock, Stock, he was coming on the tail end of a new breed of directors like Tarantino and Smith who proved that screenplay-driven ensemble movies could deliver big audiences. In the time since then, Tarantino has gotten bigger and bigger for that feat, while Ritchie has tried a lot of different things, including last year’s Aladdin.

It’s pretty exciting to see Ritchie returning to the world of crime and to jolly old England with the addition of a few Americans like Matthew McConaughey as mega-wealthy drugdealer Mickey Pearson, who has turned his upper-class connections quite literally into a farm industry. Mickey is ready to sell the business, hoping to get $400 million from Jeremy Strong’s interested investor.

The story is told through a framing sequence involving a strange character named Fletcher, played by Hugh Grant, having an extended conversation with Charlie Hunnam’s Ray, Mickey’s “fixer,” of sorts. It’s another fantastic performance by Grant that really allows him to push the envelope with a heavy cockney accent. Another great performance comes from Colin Farrell as the coach of a group of young and bratty MMA fighers who break into one of Mickey’s farms.

Using this storytelling method, Ritchie doesn’t give his entire hand away at once, instead revealing just what’s necessary to keep the viewer tuned in. The film features another witty script and it’s thoroughly entertaining, although it’s also somewhat confounding at times trying to keep track of all the characters and how they relate.

In that sense, The Gentlemen is slightly flawed, but it’s also a welcome return for Ritchie to do what he does best, and there’s no denying that there’s quite a bit to enjoy here. Rating: 7/10

The third horror movie of January (with another one next week!) is THE TURNING (Universal), a horror take on Henry James’ novel “The Turn of the Screw,” starring Mackenzie Davis (Terminator: Dark Fate), Finn Wolfhard (It) and the adorable Brooklynn Prince from The Florida Project. The basic premise involves a nanny played by Davis, who is brought to an enormous mansion to care for two kids. Once there, she is told by the kids that there are dark forces in the house, and she starts to believe them.  I had a chance to speak to the film’s director, Floria Sigismondi, an amazing visual artist whose only previous feature film was The Runaways, starring Kristen Stewart.  The movie is also written by the Hayes Brothers, who wrote the original The Conjuring, and produced by Roy Lee (The Conjuring and It), so there’s quite a decent pedigree for this movie. I also conducted a great interview with Ms. Sigismondi that you can check out on Next Best Picture.

As the third horror movie this month, I’m not sure this can deliver where the previous two (The Grudge and Underwater) failed, especially without much star power, but because it’s January, and there’s very little else to do, it can probably make $8 to 10 million in its 2,500 theaters.

Opening in moderate release this weekend  (theater count TBD) is filmmaker Todd Robinson’s THE LAST FULL MEASURE (Roadside Attractions), a military drama that the director has been trying to make for a decade. He’s pulled together an amazing cast that includes Christopher Plummer, Samuel L. Jackson, Ed Harris, Diane Ladd, Sebastian Stan, Bradley Whitford, Peter Fonda, William Hurt, Jeremy Irvine and Michael Imperioli. I still remember Robinson mentioning this project when I spoke to him for his excellent movie Lonely Heartswhen we spoke for ComingSoon.netway back in 2007, having seen that movie at the Tribeca Film Festival.

It involves a group of Vietnam vets trying to get a brave soldier, Airman William H. Pitsenberger Jr. (played by Irvine), the Medal of Honor for his actions on the battlefield to save them 34 years after his death. It sounds like a terrific premise, so it’s a movie I’ve been waiting to see for a very long time.  I’m not sure exactly how many theaters Roadside Attractions will release the movie into, but I doubt it will be enough to get it into the top 10, as I think it will end up making $2 to 3 million at best. (This probably would have been a good movie to release over Veterans’ Day, but I guess it was afraid of Roland Emmerich’s Midway, which did end up winning that weekend.)

Mini-Review: It’s pretty obvious what a passion project this must have been for filmmaker Todd Robinson from the time it’s taken for him to get this movie made, but once watch how this story plays out, it’s much more obvious why he was so driven. Even fifty years after the events depicted in the film’s Vietnam War flashback

It’s 1999, and Sebastian Stan plays Scott Huffman, an Air Force attorney working at the Pentagon who is assigned the duty of investigating the heroics of Airman William H. Pitsenberger Jr., who dropped into one of the bloodiest battles of the Vietnam War to save a number of soldiers. William Hurt plays Tulley, the soldier that comes to Huffman, although the lawyer tries to put him off due to the upcoming regime change. Against his will, Scott has to pursue this endeavor, so he goes to interview a number of the living men who were there on that fateful day.

What’s amazing about Robinson’s film is that while it focuses mainly on Stan’s character, the various actors he meets on his journey deliver some absolutely amazing performances, from Christopher Plummer (as the dead airman’s dying father), Samuel L. Jackson, Ed Harris and the late Peter Fonda.

At its worst, The Last Full Measure veers into TV movie melodrama, so it takes some of the stronger actors to drag it back. The worst example of this are the scenes between Stan and his ersatz family, which seems the most like needless scenes added to create some sort of artistic license. It probably will be little surprise that many of the names and circumstances have been changed for similar reason.

It’s a shame that Roadside Attractions doesn’t have enough faith in this movie to give this a bigger push, instead dumping it into a January weekend with little fanfare. Sure, this is certainly the type of movie that cynical film critics like tearing apart, trying to find faults over the good…. And there’s a lot of good to be had. There’s no denying that this is an important story that needs to be told, and hopefully, the audiences that might appreciate it will be able to find it. Rating: 7.5/10

What should be interesting to see if the horror film The Turning does well enough to surpass Dolittle for third place or falls just short. Either way, Universal will have three movies in the top 5, which is quite remarkable considering what a horrid December the studio had.

This week’s Top 10 should look something like this…

1. Bad Boys for Life (Sony) - $29.5 million -53%

2. 1917 (Universal) - $13 million -41% (up 1 million)*

3. Dolittle (Universal) - $10.1 million -54%

4. The Turning (Universal) - $9.3 million N/A (up .2 million)*

5. The Gentlemen (STXfilms) - $8.6 million N/A (up .1 million)*

6. Jumanji: The Next Level  (Sony) - $5 million -48%

7. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (Lucasfilm/Disney) - $4 million -52%

8. Little Women (Sony)  - $3.5 million -45%

9. Just Mercy (Warner Bros.) - $3.1 million -47%

10. Knives Out  (Lionsgate) - $2.6 million -40%

- The Last Full Measure (Roadside Attractions) - $2 million N/A (down .5 million)*

* UPDATE: Not a ton of changes but mainly a little bit of tweaking due to revised theater counts

LIMITED RELEASES

Not a ton of limited releases of note that I’ve seen, although I did see Richard Stanley’s sci-fi thriller COLOR OUT OF SPACE (RLJE Films), starring the one and only Nicolas Cage, and I even spoke to Stanley, an interview you’ll be able to read on Next Best Picturehopefully later this week. It’s based on HP Lovecraft’s short story, and in the movie, Cage plays an Alpaca farmer whose family is affected by a meteorite that falls on the property, causing all sorts of bizarre changes both mentally and physically. It’s another movie where Cage can go a little nuts, but I also liked the performances by Madeleine Arthur and Joely Richardson, who ALSO appears in The Turning this weekend. There are also some smaller roles from Q’orianka Kilcher (from Malick’s The New World) and the great comic, Tommy Chong.  There will be a special screening tonight in select cities with a satellite QnA with Stanley and Cage, and then it opens for real Friday. Being RLJE, it should be On Demand shortly afterwards.

Oddly, I haven’t seen any of the movies in the franchise that brings us DETECTIVE CHINATOWN 3  (Wanda Pictures/WB International), but the previous installments of director Sicheng Chen’s police action-comedy must have done well enough for people to want to see more of detectives Tang Ren (Baoquiang Wang) and Qin Feng (Haoran Liu) to get a third movie. The first movie made $120.6 million worldwide while the sequel made $544 million, so yeah, a third movie was inevitable. The sequel made less than $2 million domestically but one can expect that Chinese audiences in America will help the third movie do similarly. For comparison, the latest installment of the Ip Man franchise, starring Donny Yen, has grossed $3.5 million in North America. This will open in about 150 theaters.

Sadly, I also didn’t get a chance to see Dante Lam’s The Rescue (CMC Pictures), the Chinese filmmaker’s follow-up to his global blockbuster Operation Red Sea, before writing this column, but this is clearly one of the major Chinese tentpoles being released for the Lunar New Year movie season. It stars Eddie Peng from Operation Mekong as the captain of an elite rescue team, and it’s shot by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’s Oscar-winning cinematographer Peter Pau.  I’m hoping to see it this coming Friday.

Terry Crews stars as John Henry (Saban/Paramount) in Will Forbes, in this case Henry being an ex-gang member who puts aside his life of violence to take care of his aging father (played by Ken Foree from Dawn of the Dead )in South L.A. where he meets two immigrant kids on the run from his former gang leader (Ludacris), putting him in a tough spot. It will open in select cities and On Demand this Friday.

Bertrand Bonello, who made the excellent Nocturama a few weeks back, returns with his eighth feature Zombi Child (Film Movement), which is a very different take on the genre.  It draws from the true story of Clairvius Narcisse, who was reportedly zombified in 1962 Haiti, this one centering around Narcisse’s (fictional) orphaned granddaughter who is trying to fit in with the mostly white girls at her boarding school. It will open in New York at the Quad Cinemaand at Lincoln Center.

Lastly, there’s the Bollywood film Panga (FIP) from director Ashwiny Iyer Tiwari, starring Kangana Ranaut as a middle-class Indian woman and former kabaddiworld champion looking for new meaning as a wife and mother, who decides to return to the sport despite her age and responsibility to family. It will open in roughly 100 theaters.

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

Opening Friday at the Metrograph is the 1stU.S. release of the director’s cut of Jia Zhangke’s 2010 documentary I Wish I Knew,which looks at the past and present of Shanghai in a documentary full of interviews with people from all different walks of life including local actresses and fellow filmmaker Hou Hsiao-hsien. It also follows Zhangke’s favorite actress Zhao Tao, who was amazing in last year’s Ash is Purest White, as she explores the site of the Shanghai World Expo Park as it’s under construction. It’s a great film to learn more about the history of mainland China, something I greatly appreciated having been such a longtime inhabitant of Chinatown.

Even more exciting is that the Metrograph is starting a retrospective series for indie filmmaker Hal Hartleythis Friday, which is exciting since I’ve been such a big fan but haven’t seen nearly as many of his films as there are out there, having only seen his debut The Unbelievable Truth (1989) a few years back, also at the Metrograph. Hal Hartley will be at the Metrograph this Friday night, January 24, and then back on February 1 for screenings of Henry Fool (1997) and its 2006 sequel, Fay Grim. This weekend, you can see Trust from 1990, Simple Men (1992), 1994’s Amateur and more.

With the nomination of Julia Reichert and Steven Bonar’s American Factory receiving an Oscar nomination, Metrograph has put together a last-minute series, “The Academy-Nominated Films of Julia Reichert and Steven Bognar,” a program of three shorts including the 2009 short The Last Truck(shown with American Factory), 1976’s Union Maids and 1971’s Growing Up Female, and the 2006 miniseries A Lion in the House.

This weekend’s Late Nites at Metrograph  is the Jackie Chan action classic Police Story (1985). Oops, I made a little error as Playtime: Family Matinees, was supposed to be Taika Waititi’s 2016 film The Hunt for the Wilderpeople, but it got changed to Peter Weir’s 1989 movie Dead Poets Society, starring Robin Williams, which is also quite good.

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE BROOKLYN (NYC)

Besides tonight’s “Weird Wednesday” of Brain Dead (1990), they’re doing a Troop Beverly Hills “Quote-Along” tomorrow night. If that isn’t good enough, on Monday, you can see the Lonely Island’s amazing Popstar: Never Stop Stopping either as part of the monthly “Out of Tune” hosted by my pal Jeremy Wein at 7pm or at 9:30 as a Sing-Along, well except that both are very close to sold out. Next week’s “Terror Tuesday” is the Japanese horror classic Ringu (1998) (I’ll be there) and then “Weird Wednesday” is 1979’s Killer Nun.

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

Wednesday’s “Afternoon Classics” is Ernest Borgnine’s 1955 film Marty, and then Weds. and Thurs’ night’s double feature is Bob & Carol & Ted & Aliceand Jacques Demy’s Model Shop, both from 1969. Friday’s “Freaky Friday”… um… “Afternoon Classics” is the 1985 vampire thriller Fright Night, and Friday night’s midnight screening is Tarantino’s Django Unchained. (The Saturday midnight screening of Scorsese’s Goodfellasis already sold out.) The weekend’s “Kiddee Matinee” is Miyazaki’s How’s Moving Castleand then the Monday Matinee is the 1971 thriller Klute. (Most of the weekend evening slots are taken up by Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood, just to make sure all the Oscar voters have a chance to see it in the next couple weeks.) Monday and Tuesday night is a Henry Hathaway double feature of The Lives of a Bengal Lancer(1935) and The Trailer of the Lonesome Pine (1936).

FILM FORUM (NYC):

While the “Black Women: Trailblazing African American Performers & Images, 1920 – 2001” continues this weekend with the 1934 and 1959 iterations of Imitation of Life, as well as screenings of What’s Love Got To Do with It, the Tina Turner biopic starring Angela Basset, who received an Oscar nomination for it, and then the Film Forum Jr. screening is The Wiz, starring Michael Jackson and Donna Summer. Other movies in the series include Cleopatra Jones, Gone with the Wind and Spike Lee’s debut She’s Gotta Have it. Film Forum is also doing a special Homage to Anna Karenina, the late Jean-Luc Godard muse who starred in many of his classics including Band of Outsiders, Alphaville, Pierrot Le Fou, plus six other films will be screened beginning Wednesday and through January 30. On Sunday, Film Forum is showing Lee Grant’s 2005 documentary A Father … a Son … Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, which is about Kirk and Michael Douglas with Grant in person doing a QnA. The theater will also screen William Wyler’s 1951 film Detective Story, which stars Grant on Sunday and next Tuesday.

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

This weekend begins “Cinematic Void 2020” with the Friday selection being Dario Argento’s The Cat O’Nine Tails (1971), followed on Saturday by a 5-movie Giallo Marathon, including Argento’s Opera(1987), Bava’s A Blade in the Dark (1983), Fulci’s The Black Cat  (1981), and two more. Joe Dantewill be on Sunday for his 16mm Spotlight, showing 1972’s Richard. This week’s “Sunday Print Edition” is Carol Reed’s Night Train to Munich(1940) in 35mm in the afternoon and then Richard Benjamin and Dyan Cannon will be on hand to discuss the amazing 1973 thriller The Last of Sheila, one of my favorite movies.

AERO  (LA):

Besides a matinee screening of Scorsese’s Goodfellas on Thursday (free to Cinemateque members), the AERO begins a “Ford Vs.” series with a double feature of John Ford’s The Quiet Man  (1952) with Sam Peckinpah’s classic Straw Dogs (1971). Friday is Ford’ sStagecoach(1939) with Kelly Reichardt’s Meek’s Cutoff  (2010). Saturday at 9AM, you can watch a triple-feature of Toy Story, Toy Story 2 and Toy Story 3, and then in the afternoon, the AERO will show Toy Story 4 with guests. That’s a full day of Toy Story viewing! Saturday night’s “Ford Vs.” is Ford’s The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance with Akira Kurosawa’s Sanjuro, both from 1962. Sunday night’s double is Sergio Leone’s Once Upon a Time in the West  (1968) with Ford’s My Darling Clementine (1946). Tuesday’s Scorsese matinee is his debut Mean Streets.

QUAD CINEMA (NYC):

You can still catch a few of the movies in the lead-up to Bonello’s Zombi Child with another screening of I Walked with a Zombie on Weds. night, as well as De Palma’s Carrie and the Extended Director’s Cut of The Exorcist on Thursday.

MOMA  (NYC):

Modern Matinees: Jack Lemmon will present the classic Billy Wilder film Some Like It Hot  (1959) on Wednesday, Black Edwards’ The Great Race (1965) on Thursday and 1968’s The Odd Couple on Friday. 

IFC CENTER (NYC)

This week’s Weekend Classics: Luis Buñuelwill screen a double feature of the classic short Un Chien Andalou (1929) with the doc L’Age D’or (1930) while Waverly Midnights: Hindsight is 2020s will screen Alfonso Cuaron’s Children of Men and Late Night Favorites: Winter 2020goes with Argento’s Suspiria… again.

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

On Saturday, there will be a “Texas Chainsaw Double Feature” of the first two movies from 1974 and 1986 as part of the “Disreputable Series.” Also, the museum continues to screen Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey as part of its exhibition.

ROXY CINEMA(NYC)

The Nicolas Cage love continues on Weds. with Martin Scorsese’s 1999 movie Brinigng Out the Dead, and then on Saturday, Bottleneck Gallery will screen 1987’s The Monster Squad and 1986’s Night of the Creeps.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART  (LA):

Friday’s night’s midnight movie is John Carpenter’s adaptation of Stephen King’s Christine (1983).

FILM AT LINCOLN CENTER (NYC):

The New York Jewish Film Festival continues through next week so no rep stuff.

STREAMING AND CABLE

On Sunday, Netflix will stream the first season of Fast and Furious: Spy Racers, which I have little to no interest in. I have a little more interest in Star Trek: Picard, which will begin streaming on CBS All Access on Thursday.

That’s it for this week. Next weekend is the Super Bowl, but that’s not gonna stop the releases of Gretel and Hansel(U.A. Releasing) and Blake Lively’s The Rhythm Section (Pararamount).

[beowulfs-booty-call]

Shiro, pidge, Beezer

Hey! I’m super sorry for being so late! Considering the other asks piled up, and tumblr does blatantly no help in organizing them, I completely missed it! I hope you can forgive the unnecessary time spent waiting! Unfortunately, though, this is gonna be a long post!

Shiro: What’s the one thing you have that keeps you going on life?

Well, actually… Before, it was someone I’m very close to. I… er… Well, how do I put this? I kept going because someone became my rock. And I depended on them, a lot. But, whenever they needed me, I was as strong as ever so we both could be. 

…Truth be told, they still are, but, I’ve sorta grown more, that I don’t need to rely constantly on this one person to make sure my life is going well, you know? If I answered before, I’d probably answer that person, though… I’m still clinging to hope.

Hope that maybe, things will change. Hope, that one day I’ll fall in love the way I think I was meant to be. Hope… That I’ll be the best me I can be, that everyone I know can be as happy as they deserve to be. It’s a long shot; Where does hope come from? Where does it go? But, hope’s what got me here in the first place when things were nothing but horrid and unsafe. For what it’s worth, I believe hope’s what’s gonna keep me going, so that one day, I’ll wake up, happy and falling in love with myself and someone else, and sharing me, with someone else. 

I hope for a lot of things, but, I find it’s that hope that keeps me going forward, even when I don’t know sometimes where I’ll end up.

Pidge: Do you feel comfortable with who you are as you are now?

Pfft, it’s funny Pidge comes up, frankly, I enjoyed this question most! 

In all honesty… I like to believe I’m getting more comfortable with myself. I… I started writing poetry, I started drawing digitally, I’ve even thinking of having Beowulf as my actual name at times, hilarious as it is… It’s… Strange, actually. Getting to know the person you are now, that is. I didn’t know my life’s purpose, nor my own identity, but now more than ever, I feel… Kinda more… “whole”, you know? I, I fell in love with someone, went through a break up, consequently the “OTP BROKE UP!!!” phase, and so on which made me rethink a lot about myself. In one sense, yes, I feel more comfortable with myself. After that breakup, I sort of, realized that really, when it came down to it;

I didn’t need to ask why my ex and I did. 

I just understood that our relationship was at an end, it was time to move on, but, when you give your heart to someone, where do you go after that’s gone?

So, I took a lot more me time, I started up my love of flannel after, almost years of never seeing them again, I started reading Beowulf the first time, fell in love with the mythos and wanted really… Really badly to emulate it. I wanted to be a hero, I wanted people to remember me so much and praise me for what I do, when, most of the time, I barely even saw how far I came along the way. And, that’s how Beowulf ends (Sorry for the spoilers!), he gets too arrogant and only wants to hog the glory, and, he dies to the dragon when he’s older (35? He was still young.) and battle hardened. When I read Beowulf, that’s just when things clicked in. 

Did I really want glory and fame? Or, did I just want someone to recognize me for something? And, well, since then, I started listening to myself. I wore flannel, jeans, boots, I was so… happy not to wear whatever someone else told me to wear, it felt so… Right. I bought my opal choker, charmed it, and the local witch who sold it to me, remarked that Boulder Opal was meant to bring the real person within, out.

Looking back to that, it’s… Quite the journey. I’m… Me, and…. I know I’m gonna change more, that’s just a part of life, but, it’s been pretty cool getting to know myself. I channel spirits, I’m an incubus after making a deal with a few contracted demons and Lilith, and I’m always here for my friends. Self consciousness will always be something holding people back, and the same with body image, but, I’m much more comfortable as the person I am now, than I was before.

I think, to really say it more clearer…

I feel, free.

Enlightened.

Me.

Beezer: Who do you look up to?

Oh! Well, this is interesting as well!

I… Look up to a lot of people. I’ve looked up to my Spanish teacher in High School since, my junior year. He’s adopted me as his kid, by word of mouth and by action, the way he’s been, along with my school secretary. They’ve… Become like my mom and dad, in the context of things, I’d always make excuses to spend time with them than my own parents, and, I’d always hang out with them after school because I was so… Well, I was starved for parental affection. I felt wrong, so disastrously wrong for craving their love. “What about their children? Obviously, they won’t just drop everything to be with you, damnit!” But, those fears were just childish, my mom, when she figured how I was feeling, and she calmed me down by saying,

“It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be weak sometimes when all you’ve ever known was to be strong. No matter what anyone says, wherever you go, whomever you become, you will always be my son.”

That was when my dad jumped in, and nonchalantly tried to hype it up by saying,

“And who better yet to be our son than a brave prince, with a soul older than the gods himself?”

(Now, mind you, my dad is sort of nuts. He’s a very strict teacher, everyone fears him and his teaching since he still uses the old RAP THE RULER TO ENVOKE PURE FEAR, but, his a very goofy guy with the air of a Sultan. Ever since I did my tarot cards, he’s always seen them as holy predictions as they for the most part, has. So, he’s always more or less, meaning well, just not… Wording things well…!)

I’ve left high school since, and I still get word from them time to time, I send cards, but, sometimes, I want to be their kid. I want to look up to them the way their kids do (Though, my dad, his sons left him with their mom when he was in the military. He… Well, he personally thinks I was sent to be his kid as part of fate. His words, not mine, but, those words always stuck with me.) and be just like them. So strong, so wise, but so loving as well.

My grandpa and grandma are just two of my supposed biggest fans, they’ve done nothing but support me, and well, frankly, I’ve always used their struggles to live in the time they are now to go on with my schooling. My grandmother worked as a worker for Verizon for years, while taking care of her mother, and her four kids at the age of 40 as a single mom, working the telephone poles (Something she claims only men did at the time, so, she worked her hardest to make ends meet). She taught me first about magic, and most of the basic Hindu mythos (We still cry over the movies and depictions of Parvati.) My grandpa, as it goes, isn’t really my grandpa, he’s simply my Gram’s neighbor and they’ve both come to fall in love with each other (As… Much as she won’t admit it openly.) 

He took me in as a young child when my parents didn’t, and was one of the first teachers I had, teaching me “Ese Lunar” (Cielito lindo, in actuality) and my first basic Spanish, and inspiring me with stories from the bible, but also about cultural figures like Santa Muerte and such. Sometimes, I gloss over it, but, I’ve always admired them. The way they bicker so much, but will always wake up the next morning, making tea and coffee and reading the paper and then asking me to do the chores and heavy lifting like we’re on Smallville. I always enjoyed their basic lifestyle… It’s taught me a lot, especially in how to appreciate the little things in life, from receiving a letter, to writing one and mailing it everyday, they’ve done so much to me, that I can only hope to do the same for them.

I look up, well, I idolize a lot of fictional characters too, like Terra Branford from Final Fantasy 6 or Yukino Mayuzumi from Persona 1 and 2. Terra keeps faith and hope for the orphans of the town of Mobliz, while Yukino struggles with her feelings for her mentor as a photographer.

Terra is a lot like me, she yearns to find out what love means. Not just the romantic ones, not just the “good friend” platonic love. She wants to discover real, true love, which she finds in orphans like her, who cling to her and call her Momma. It’s… Heartbreaking, but hopeful, in the way she was raised to be a weapon, and later, she is reversing it to teach others about love.

Yukino fights, not because she was once a gang member, not because she wants to be the only one to love her mentor, but because she wants her friends and her own student, Ana, safe and sound. Yukino’s life was turned around when her teacher, Ms. Saeko intervened and took her out of the female gang lifestyle to become a teacher like her. It inspired her to go forward, and though she couldn’t become a teacher like Ms. Saeko, she became a photographer and her mentor Shunsuke Fuji becomes her love interest. When a classmate of the protagonist, Ana Yoshizaka, goes rogue and becomes antagonistic, Yukino works to intervene like Saeko did, acknowledging she wasn’t strong enough to say she loved Fuji, nor smart enough to go to college and become a teacher like Ms. Saeko, or have “the eye” to be a photographer like Fuji himself. Instead, she acknowledges she doesn’t need those things to be a person, a strong person, to make sure she wouldn’t let Ms. Saeko’s lessons leave her so quickly to save Ana from a life of crime.

I also really look up to Beowulf, like I mentioned before, as a book, as a character, even as a Skullgirls character (pfft). I’ve always been a fan of wolves, and while they don’t exactly pertain to the legend of Beowulf, they do to the Skullgirls one. For the legend, he’s regarded as “Son of Wulf”, so, merely, his name is can be seen as Beo (lol, the logic is flawed of course, but hear me out) as Wulf was really a common ground name at the time. But, he was a prince of legend, a man the people looked up to and was, while vain, a good man at heart. I really want to emulate that, the same for the Skullgirls Beowulf, he may just be a wolf themed wrestler, but he’s got great intentions at heart besides just wrestling for his fans. But that’s just how I see it, the fact that he’s loosely based on the actual Beowulf, and my analysis of his character, it’s hard for me not to sorta… Look up to that legacy.

And, lastly, it’s my mother goddess Parvati. 

Streamlined mythos, she’s mother of Ganesha, and second wife of Shiva after her previous incarnation, Sati, committed suicide by diving into a sacrificial fire when her father Daksha forced her to marry another man and not whom she fell in love with (Shiva).

Parvati, then came as the daughter (and princess) of the Himalayas, and she gives forth an eternal maternal love only she can exude. When I was younger, I was once told, the gods decide who to protect in the world. This was why people tended to favor different gods in different households. My grams favored Vishnu, my father, Shiva, and so forth, we were a Guyanese community, so, superstitions were the best interpretation of “God comes in all forms to be accepted by his devotees.”

I didn’t bond with many gods, Vishnu frightened me, with the terrifying Ananta as his vehicle, Shiva was far too powerful in his austerities. And, one day, when I cried out that I had no one in the world to love me, a woman in a pink shalwar came to me and claimed I needed no such words, because she was here to be my mother, when my mother is not. And so, she accepted me as her child, and, I’ve done nothing more but try to be as patient, loving, and wise as she’s been for me. 

She’s never left me alone, and, well, I’m not doing that to anyone I care about either. It’s one of the reasons I look up to her, her love is as eternal as the moon’s light.

Thanks, so, so much for asking! I’d like to apologize again for the lateness! Really, thank you again!

[screensandmelodies-blog]

3 Televsion Shows That Fell Off

By Jared Leal, Anastasia Rafalska and Steven Le

SHERLOCK

By Anastasia Rafalska

“Help me please, I’m on a plane and everyone’s asleep.”

I really like how BBC has interpreted and turned into a movie novels of Arthur Conan Doyle, but honestly, the last episode is just a piece of crap. Some people think it’s a great finish, as Sherlock is revealed as a human, not a detective, but let me explain you something: Sherlock Holmes is the most genius detective in London. He is a legend, he is a person who with just one glance at a piece of paper can recreate an apartment where it was and in seconds determine if there is a weapon in the bag just by analyzing it’s weight, he can predict behaviour of the people couple weeks before.

And now, his character with exceptional intellectual ability is playing in the “real-life quest” done by his sister Eurus, where he was blackmailing by the phone calls from a little girl alone on a passenger plane, where everyone is unconscious apart from her.  I’ m not even taking into account the fact that he could refuse playing this game, as it must be clear to him that something doesn’t add up –the girl doesn’t know where she’s coming from or going, she seems relatively relaxed about the huge passages of time passing between their conversations. Surely he’d be able to deduce that she wasn’t really on a plane, yet he never appears to doubt the veracity of her call, consequently under the pressure Sherlock is almost ready to kill his brother and other people. 

The next important thing: from the second episode we were convinced that Eurus is the most dangerous prisoners in the world and according to Mycroft, she is “an era-defining genius beyond Newton”. She uses a lot of smart words, but if you just take a look on what she is doing during the whole episode, you’ll understand that there is nothing genius or original, there is no sense in her actions.

We love Sherlock Holmes for his deduction, extraordinary cases, unusual things that have a logical explanation, but unfortunately none of it was used in the last episode. 

THE 100

By Steven Le

There were many things in the story of the 100 that captivated us. The 100 is a story based on the post apocalypse of Earth after having radiation spread all over the world killing off mankind like a plague. Mankind had to create an Ark spaceship to send themselves into space to live until the Earth was freed of radiation and become inhabitable again. After 10 long years of living in space, the crew members had made a decision of sending 100 delinquents and misfits down to Earth to ‘test’ if it was safe to inhabit again. Throughout season 1, this plot had captivated many people as we would be following along with Clarke, the leader of the delinquents and see how they would prevail in the trials that await them. From the grounders who were used to the radiation to the surviving humans left in the mountains 10 years ago, seasons 1 to 2 had kept viewers entertained for months.

However, after season 2 was the start of where The 100’s storyline worsened. Throughout season 3 we find out that one of their own went out to look for salvation on Earth, only to become inhabited by an artificial intelligence bot named “Alie”. From this point, the story seemed way more farfetched than it was from the start. Having a mind controlling artificial intelligence infect people’s minds by simply eating a microchip that would attach itself at the back of your neck was just plain unreal and stupid. The affects that this microchip would do to someone was allow them hallucinate throughout their subconscious imagining a city called ‘The City of Light’, where no conflict would happen, and no hate would consume the hearts of man.

However, this was not all to the fall of The 100. After season 3’s crazy plotline, comes the current season, season 4. The plot was briefly touched upon at the end of season 3 where Clarke and the remaining people of the Ark found out that the Earth was doomed to radiation once again. When the problem was explained to their allies, the grounders and the rest of the Arkadian’s, no one had a surprised expression. The Arkadians seemed as though they felt no real imminent danger of possibly getting wiped out by the Earth’s radiation AGAIN! All in all my disappointment with the show currently is that they are lacking in certain details within the story that should be more carefully explained to allow viewers to fully understand the situation at hand. The show should also reveal more emotion as to how distressed our protagonists are feeling towards the current situation in season 4.

THE OFFICE

By Jared Leal

Note: May be difficult to understand without prior knowledge.

Note: I get heated in this one, bear with me and don’t take it too seriously, enjoy…

“Today, smoking is going to save lives.”

The quote by Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson) before one of the most outrageous pre-shows I have ever seen, sticks to this day. NBC’s adaptation of BBC’s “The Office” is one of the few shows that I consider a part of me. This comes from its more documentary type of presentation. The setting an ordinary workplace of supposedly ordinary people. The format would include monologues in the form of interviews of each character in between plot points. I’m no nerd, I don’t know if this format has been used before The Office and Parks and Recreation, but it definitely softens that veil of disbelief everyone has when consuming fiction. In other words, it feels real. Mix this with a dry sense of awkward, character-driven humour from its primary comedic engines in Michael Scott (Steve Carrell) and Dwight Schrute, and all I see is my favourite comedy television show of all time.

They glory is there from the very beginning, introducing main characters Michael with his unrelenting but genuine incompetence, Dwight and his arrogant but naïve superiority complex (as far as we think...), and the sustaining unresolved romantic tension of Jim Halpert (Jon Krasinski) and Pam Beasley (Jenna Fischer). This glory is sustained through 7 seasons of wonderful ups and downs that all the characters shared and fought through. Then Michael Scott leaves.

I actually watched the 8th season, the first full season without Steve Carrell as the primary character. Ed Helms’ Andy Bernard takes over Michael’s managing job and the show’s attempts to restore former glory without shamefully replicating it, commence. This season wasn’t good but it definitely wasn’t horrid, but without the driving force of the show, it was evidently missing something. I am actually part of the group of viewers that actually enjoyed Andy and Erin Hannon’s (Ellie Kemper) romance; the previous season setup several subtle but sweet moments which were resolved this season, much to my satisfaction (we’ll get back to this).

Which leads us to the 9th and final season, which I could not bear to complete. I can’t really say how bad it is or even if it is actually bad, but I can say how my optimism was gutted. Introducing a plethora of new characters I don’t care about, this late into the show, is the first mistake. Evidently, I don’t remember their names and don’t have the dignity to search them up, but they were two young office dudes I think. The asshole-ification of Andy was the second mistake: making him act like an ass to his employees and making him neglect Erin (who he worked so hard for) is just not something I saw him doing when he was first introduced in the 3rd season. This of course led to end of their relationship, which I thought couldn’t get much worse until she rebounded onto one of the two new nobodies I mentioned before (for the record, I’m sure they’re nice guys). This is of course is where the thrill was gone completely; actually I stopped before this happened (thanks to Wikia for softening this blow).

So yeah, I guess my disappointment with the show and the fact that I could not receive proper closure to one of my favourite shows of all time got me heated in this post. But the beauty of fiction is that I can choose to stop my suspension of disbelief whenever I want. And I can still enjoy the first seven seasons as I did before because it makes me happy. And I’m crying now, goodbye.

I aint don’t worry.

[alicedoessurveys]

131 Questions

1. On Saturdays, I like to… Depends what mood I’m in or how I’m feeling. If I’m in a tired, ’cba with anything’ mood I can easily lounge in my jammies at home watching telly and playing sims. If I’m in a more energetic ‘need to get out the house’ mood ill persuade my mom to go shopping, or take the dogs out or something

2. Where would you like to be a missionary to? Idk what that means

3. What’s better — toilet paper rolled over top or underneath? Over

4. Which Scooby-Doo character are you most like (Scooby, Shaggy, Daphne, Fred, Velma, the monster, Scrappy?) Probably shaggy and scooby cause I’m scared of everything

5. If you had to endure one natural disaster (i.e. hurricane, tornado, etc), what would you pick and why? Idk, hurricane maybe? Id rather not be in any disaster tbh

6. What movie or TV show do you take guilty pleasure in watching? Not gonna lie, there are some shows on kids tv I actually enjoy watching

7. If you had to describe your day as a traffic sign, what would it be? Ive had a mental block and I can’t think of any traffic signs

8. What traditional stereotype would you classify yourself as? I don’t think I really fit into one stereotype. im kind of a nerd but not 100% nerd

9. What “group” did you belong to in high school? My group was a mishmash of people. we were branded as the weird, geeky, unpopular group by most people

10. If you wrote a book about yourself…what would it be about? Probably about my experience with mental health and how it affected my school/college years

11. If your house were burning down, what would you take and why? obviously first thing id do would be check my family and pets were safe. Then id grab my laptop, the teddy I’ve had since I was born and try to get the two boxes from under my bed that I keep my memories in.

12. Describe your favorite pair of PJ’s. My favourites at the moment are my Christmas ones I bought myself this year. They’re red and white, with a kind of Christmas jumper pattern on them. Its hard to describe them but they’re super cosy

13. How many handbags do you own? Like two, I’m not big on handbags. I buy one and keep it until its dies then get a new one

14. If this were your last day alive, what would you say to your friends? Thank them for sticking with me and giving me some great memories

15. What is your very favorite part of your day? getting into bed at the end of the day

16. What is your best scar? Tell the story of how you got it. I don’t consider any of my scars ‘best’.. the one that has the most meaning is the one on my stomach. Its from when my appendix burst when I was two years old and my parents said It was 50/50 wether I survived or not

17. You win a million dollars, but you have to give half to a charity. Which charity do you pick, and what do you do with the rest of the money? probably Birmingham dogs home, or dogs trust

18. Describe your dream wedding where money is no option. IF I every do get married, I would like a winter/christmas wedding cause Christmas is my favourite time of year and winter weather is a bit more predictable. Id want to get married in a church, then go to a big castle hall for the reception. Honeymoon in lapland!

19. What kind of deodorant do you use? I think its either dove or sure..? I can’t remember. its a spray deodrant though, can’t deal with those horrid wet stick ones  

20. If you were a spy what would your alias be? is alias like, spy name? I don’t know, I can’t think of anything cool haha

21. Do you have a birth mark? Where? Does it look like anything? Nope, don’t think so

22. You are planning the most awesome dinner party of your life. Which 3 celebrities/historical figures (past or present) would you add to your guest list to keep the dinner talk interesting? Edie Redmayne because.. its eddie redmayne and he’s just adorable. kate mckinnon would be a freakin’ amazing dinner party guests I chose her and I can’t think who id chose for the third person.. maybe Walt Disney. NO WAIT, JOHNNY DEPP!! I choose Johnny Depp, I feel like he’d have a lot of great stories

23. What is your favorite sport, and which team of that sport do you cheer for? None

24. Which would you rather have a kiss or a hug? Why? Hug

25. If you could be a pair of jeans what style would you be?  Why? Skinny jeans, so I could be skinny :’)

26. You have multiple personalities, describe some of them. too many to go into

27. What is the best thing you have done in your life? Probably passing my driving test. OR, when I was 17 I got certified as a Zumba instructor. even though I ended up having to give up Zumba, thats probably the thing I’m the most proud of in my life so far. As someone who suffers anxiety/panic attacks it was a massive achievement to travel to blackpool, go dance at Winter Gardens ballroom ON MY OWN in a room full of strangers for 6 hours, and come out with a certificate.

28. If you were blind for the rest of your life… what would you miss seeing the most? Everything. It would be awful. Id probably miss seeing my dogs faces the most

29. What household chore do you hate the most? Washing the dishes, or hanging my clothes up in the closet

30. What is your most disappointing moment in life? the whole college experience. dropping two of my a levels, failing the other two. Then dropping out of college course. And again, dropping out of another college course. Not a great 3 years for me.

31. When have you laughed the hardest? Cried? today. I realised my dog’s haircut made him look like Edna Mode from the incredibles.. easily amused. Last time I cried, Im not sure. The last time I remember crying was Christmas Eve

32. If you had a “theme song” that played whenever you walk into a room full of people, what would it be? My cellophane from Chicago? Haha idk

33. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? General appearance. Probably what they’re wearing, their hair, their face. If I’m up close face to face with someone the first thing I notice are eyes and mouth

34. What time period from the past would you most have liked to live in and why? 80s, I like the music

35. What is the best reward anyone can give you? support

36. If you had a band what would you name it? Idk, I used to have a name I said I would use but I can’t remember now

37. Do you like fruit? Vegetables? Not really. The only fruit I like is apples and bananas. The only veg I like are peas

38. What can someone do to encourage you? tell me they believe in me and be genuine about it

39. If you could be one for just 24 hours, what cereal box cartoon character would you be? Why? What a bazaar question haha! Erm, the one from coco pops? The monkey

40. What was the best thing that happened to you this weekend? New Years day. i spent the day surrounded by family at my sisters house and we stayed they’re till almost 2am playing heads up and singing too loud

41. What is your favorite animal? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Ffs, I don’t know what an adjective is :’) favourite animal: dogs. Loyal, cuddly, goofballs

42. What is your favorite color? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Again with the adjectives, gah! Fave colour, purple. I don’t know why, I just like it leave me alone

43. It’s a very hot and muggy day. You desperately want something very cool and refreshing to quench your thirst and revitalize your body. What would you drink — either make your own or store-bought. Cold water obvs

44. You discover that the person you’re head-over-heels interested in loves a good homemade & handmade dessert. What will you concoct when you have this person over? Cookies, either salted caramel or Nutella filled

45. What would you leave in your will for the person you care about the most? Idk, I don’t really have anything to leave :’)

46. What do you consider to the most valuable thing you own: when you were a child/teenager/now? Child: probably something stupid like dolls. Teenager: idk, laptop? Now: again probably laptop since I bought a new one yesterday. I would say dog but I don’t own the dog

47. What’s the kindest act you have ever seen done? Idk

48. If you could have any job in the world, which one would you want? Actress, or dancer. Or animal trainer for movies/tv

49. What are your best/worst subjects in school and what subjects would you want to learn now? Best subjects: none. Worst subjects: all of them, but especially science.

50. What are you most talented at? Nothing :’)

51. What is your worst nightmare today? Still being the way I am now this time next year

52. How often do you clean between your toes? Idk, like almost every day I think

53. What is your favorite way to waste time at work without getting caught? I don’t have a job so idk

54. If you could have had the starring role in one film already made, which movie would you pick? Tina in Fantastic Beasts.. being part of that amazing film AND getting to spend all that time with Eddie Redmayne <3

55. If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do? I don’t want to be apart of a circus

56. If you could eliminate one thing you do each day in the bathroom so that you never had to do it again, what would it be? Having to go to the bathroom <- yup, that

57. You were just given a yacht. What would you name it? the mad hatter

58. If you could have been told one thing that you weren’t told when you were a teenager, what would you like to have heard? ‘Dont expect everything to get better in college. It only gets worse’

59. You’ve just been hired to a promotions position at Kellog Co. What would you put in a new breakfast cereal box as a gimmick? These questions are hard man

60. Just like “Everybody Wang Chung tonight!”, what action would your name be if it were a verb? wtf

61. Name your favorite song. At the moment, I’m loving Todrick Hall ‘no place like home’

62. If you were to get a tattoo, what would it say or what would the graphic be? I have a tattoo. I have 3 musical notes behind my ear. I want another tattoo, i want a lighthouse on the side of my foot under my ankle

63. If you could play any musical instrument, what would it be and why? If you already play an instrument(s), what do you play and why? ive just started playing the ukulele, my dad bought me one for Christmas

64. When trick-or-treating as a kid, was there any kind of candy that you didn’t like to get? I never went trick or treating

65. Why do you live in the Washington DC area? I dont :’)

66. What is your favorite memory of Christmases past? Just Christmas in general

67. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve done for God? I haven’t done anything outrageous.. the most ‘unlike me’ thing I did was stand up in front of my church and give a testimony. It was terrifying and I cried with relief when it was over haha

68. If a movie was being made of your life and you could choose the actor/actress to play you, who would you choose and why? Jennifer Lawrence

69. Paper or plastic? Paper I guess idk

70. What was the weirdest food you’ve ever eaten? I don’t eat anything weird, I’m a very boring eater

71. What do you keep in the trunk of your car? I have a basket which I keep de-icer, ice scraper, washer liquid, a torch, gloves, hat, tennis balls and dog poop bags

72. When you were in grade school, what did you want to be when you grew up? Why? I wanted to be someone who looked after peoples cats when they went on holiday.. don’t ask why

73. If you owned a CB radio what would your “handle” be? I dont know what that means

74. If you were given 24 hrs to live, what would you do? I can’t even, questions like this stress me out

75. If you were in the “Miss America” talent competition, what would your talent be? (Note: both guys & gals have to answer this question) i dont know, probably bring the dog on stage and dance with him or something haha

76. What do you think the most ultimate gift of the world is? Uh.. idk. I feel like this survey is gonna be really boring cause most my answers are ‘idk’

77. What is your earliest childhood memory? Earliest memory is mom dropping me off at preschool and my crying my eyes out being carried off by the teacher

78. What was your favorite TV show when you were growing up? I had many. I had a lot of veggitales videos

79. If you had one extra hour of free time a day, how would you use it? Either sleep, or just more time sitting on the sofa wasting my life

79. What CD is in your CD player right now? Rend Collective, Campfire II

80. The great theologian Andy Warhol stated that everyone gets 15 minutes of fame.  What happened during your 15 minutes? Still waiting for mine

81. Name the most famous person you’ve had a face to face encounter with. I met the wanted, Andy Jordan and literally bumped into laurence llewelyn-bowen in hobby craft last year

82. Name your favorite children’s story. Anything by road Dahl, the whole chronicles of Narnia or the grufflo

83. If you could spend 15 minutes with any living person, who would it be and why? hmm.. I haven’t mentioned eddie redmayne enough in this survey so ill say him :’) or Kate McKinnon.. love her

84. What person in the Bible do you most closely identify with? Esther was my favourite growing up, and now I’m older I identify with her a lot

85. What article of clothing most closely describes your personality? A hoodie because you can pull the hood over your head and hide away just like I’ve been doing for a long time <-this

86. If you were to write a book what would it be about? Im sure I answered this question earlier..?

87. How many rings before you answer the phone? I don’t really do that. I see who’s ringing and I either answer it or I don’t

88. What is the first thing you think of when you wake in the morning? Lie there contemplating wether to wake up or go back to sleep

89. If you won a million dollars, what would you do with it? Pay off they money I owe. Pay off parents debts, and sisters debts. Give them money. Buy a house in Bournemouth. Set up a doggy day care business.

90. If you had to, what part of your body would you get pierced? No thanks

91. Who was your favorite teacher and why? My English/drama teacher in the first year of senior school. She found out I was having difficulties and became like a mentor to be. She helped me out a lot.  

92. What makes you feel the most secure? My family

93. Who do you admire the most? Mom

94. Have you ever had a reoccurring dream? What was it? I’ve had dreams about my teeth falling out a few times. Recently I keep having dreams about being in bed with spiders and snakes crawling on me and wake up hitting my duvet and generally freakin the f out

95. What was your nickname growing up? Bong

96. Who was your hero when you were a child, and what did you do to be like them? My dad. I would try to play his guitars and would tag along with him when he went to his evening jobs

97. Peanut or plain? Peanut or plain what..?

98. What is your favorite cartoon character & why? I don’t actually know

99. How did you learn to ride a bicycle? all I remember is my dad took me to the park and held on to the bike while I cycled, then let me go and I rode into a tree

100. Based on something you’ve already done, how might you make it into the Guinness Book of World Records? The ability to jump to the worst conclusion in the quickest time

101. What’s the closest you’ve come to becoming a pop star/winning an Oscar? No where near

102. When was the last time you did something for the first time? What was it? I honestly can’t think of anything

103. What is your concept of a fruitful day? I dont know what that means..

104. What was your favorite thing to play with as a child? Why? I was quite an active child, I spent a lot of time climbing trees and running around outdoors. When I wasn’t doing that, my favourite toys were bratz dolls

105. If you could be any animal in the world for 24 hours, which animal would you be? Why? a bird, I would love to experience flying

106. Have you ever jumped out of a plane? Nope, im not adventurous enough for that

107. If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be? Hate/war/terror

108. What is your best personal characteristic? Ughhhh I hate questions like this, I’m not good at saying nice stuff about myself

109. What is your favorite quote? “And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those you don’t believe in magic will never find it.” - Roald Dahl

110. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? Sneak onto a film set and see what its like

111. What is your favorite weird food combination? Im not into any weird food combinations. Like I said earlier, I’m not adventurous enough

112. If you had to be a flower, which one would you like to be and why? Maybe a rose, cause they’re pretty but they have thorns so they fight back again people who try to pick them :’)

113. If you were stranded on a desert island, what three books and three people would you take with you? 3 books: Fantastic beasts and where to find them, Harry Potter and the cursed child (cause its the one I’m reading atm) and a bible. 3 people: my mom, my dad and my sis
 114. My biggest pet peeve is… People in general

115. What is your favorite commercial? What commercial annoys you the most? I don’t really have a favourite. they all tend to annoy me after a while. OH WAIT! One advert I will never get fed up of is the Coca Cola Christmas one, ‘Holidays are Coming’

116. What’s the most interesting “Ice Breaker” Question you have ever been asked? I avoid situations that require ice breaker questions.

117. If you could be an ice cream flavor, what would it be? Why? Salted caramel, cause its my fave idk

118. Name a turning point in your life that makes you smile/cry. Makes me cry: probably the year I dropped out of college for the third time, got dianosed with depression then got ill with thyroid shit Makes me smile: maybe, going back to church this year because its changed my life for the better and set our family on an exciting journey thats just beginning :)  

119. If there were a holiday in your honor what would it celebrate? everyone who isn’t perfect, who is awkward, and fails at stuff a lot

120. What clubs were you a member of in High School? Are you still interested in any of the same things? I joined a drama club for like a week before it got shut down because there wasn’t enough members

121. If you were to be on a reality TV show which one would you be on and why? Probably big brother, I have no talents so I couldn’t go on anything else :’)

122. If you could be anything in the world, what would you be and why? Someone with talent. preferably someone who could sing, dance and act and was in musicals  

123. If someone rented a billboard for you, what would you put on it? ‘Make the effort to make someone smile today’

124. If you had to enter a competition for the “Most Uselessly Unique Talent,” what would your talent be? The ability to get animals to like me

125. If you were a Smurf, what would your name be? Awkward smurf, talentless smurf, failure smurf

126. What is your worst personality characteristic? Please refer to previous answer

127. If you had to be a teacher of something, what would you teach? well I completed a night course in canine behaviour so I guess I could teach how to care for and train dogs

128. How would you like to be remembered? Someone who made people smile

129. What is one thing that you constantly think about (other than material things)? Whether I’m doing the right thing or not. what I should be doing with my life.

130. What do you like best about your hometown? I don’t know, I guess the fact that its got a nice reputation

131. Something interesting you might not know about me is… Im not very interesting..

[pixie-dust-and-pain]

Anarchy

I really need to stop writing these in class, I am so going to fail this term

Chapter 1

Warnings: none/slight sexual innuendo

(I wrote this during class so it's probably gonna have some mistakes, cause it's unedited, sorry 'bout those)

Word count: 1651

Chapter 2-The beginning

“A cough serum is supposed to cure a cough, Weasley, not cause it,” the girl scoffed, leaning back in his chair as the boy coughed more.

“Blimey, aren’t-aren’t you simple a beacon of wisdom today?” he retorted, his voice scratchy and hoarse.

“If you were trying to get back at me, I am most sorry to say that the effect was lost the moment you opened your mouth. Honestly, you sound worse than Dee after the singing potion,” they both cringe at the memory, “where did you get this from? Knockturn alley?” she asks, lifting the little vial of serum, that is now empty, and studying it.

He shakes his head, “Old man, said it was good, rational price-”

She cuts him off right there, raising a finger, “Tsk, it would’ve been better had you gotten it from Knockturn alley, honestly. Those old men just want your money,”

He looks at her questioningly, as though he cannot bring himself to believe that some men may be crooks, and Isabelle nods solemnly. “It’s true. Or, they want to get in your pants,”

He blushes at that, eyes flickering down to his own trousers momentarily before he looks up again, and Isabelle nearly sighs. He’s such an innocent little thing, a lost cause some might say, but she likes keeping him around.

“Really, Ellison?” he rasps out, and she snaps at him.

“Don’t talk! And how many times have I told you, don’t call me that. And yes, it’s true. Now, c’mon, we’re going to be late for defence,” She’s decided ‘defence against the dark arts’ is too much of a mouthful and has only been referring to it as defence since year two.

Septimus trudges behind her mournfully, probably thinking up an excuse for why he can’t talk that won’t make the professor raise an eyebrow. They make their way to class, and a few people nod at Septimus. They don’t acknowledge her. She’s invisible.

Somebody grabs her elbow, simultaneously stopping both her and Septimus in their tracks. His arm is looped through hers, and he looks at her questioningly, before his gaze drops to the arm grabbing it and the person the arm belongs to.

“Avery?” She asks, confused by the sudden manhandling.

“Ellison,” he grins charmingly, and Isabelle just knows this isn’t going to end well. “Fancy a little talk for a moment?”

Septimus shoots her a look, one that conveys: You know Cain Avery? The Cain Avery?

She looks back at him with a look that says: No? I literally have no friends except you and Dee?

She shoots Avery a shy smile, and says, “Well, class is about to start, so maybe later…?” she trails off, not allowing herself to wince as his grip on her grows tighter and his smile wider. There’s no point in the niceties now, she realizes. It’s too late, he already knows. She should’ve guessed that Riddle would waste no time informing his “friends” of the potential threat.

“It won’t take more than a minute, Ellison, I promise-”

“No.” It isn’t a hesitant word, now, and more of a statement with no room left for discussion. She smiles sweetly again, “I’m so sorry, Avery, but I just can’t afford to miss this class. I’m already falling behind-” he makes a small noise of protest at the back of his throat, probably hinting at how she’d bested Riddle in Defence two days prior, but doesn’t say anything, “-and I really need to catch up,” she continues, looking up at him with puppy eyes. “I swear I’ll talk to you later, though,” she promises, and to add to the effect, giggles.

Nobody notices how he pulls his arm back a little too quickly, or the sharp inhale of breath as his hand blisters due to her wandless spell. She smiles innocently at him, as though she didn’t just burn his hand, and says, “Hope waiting isn’t too much of a sting to your ego,” she giggles again, winking at him, and watches as his expression turns from confusion to realization to horror.

Oh, how she loves this specific moment, where a person realizes that she isn’t what she seems.

Septimus tugs her towards class, keeping his voice low as he lets out gravelly, “You turned down Cain Avery, the Cain Avery,”

“Yes, Weasley, now shut the fuck up,” she hisses, speed walking to class.

“Miss Ellison, Mister Weasley, you’re late,” the professor says, eyeing them both.

“Septimus here ended up getting jinxed in the hallway, professor, and now he can’t talk without sounding like an opera-singing crow,” she explains, the lie easily coming to her.

A few giggles and chuckles erupt through the room but are silenced quickly enough by the professor’s glare. A Gryffindor girl that had still been snickering covers it up by a cough and ends up launching into an actual coughing fit. Isabelle resists the urge to roll her eyes.

“Is that so?” he asks, shifting his attention wholly on Septimus, and Isabelle takes advantage of the distraction to slip into her seat. Septimus looks betrayed. “Well, Weasley, what do you have to say for it?”

“’s true,” he mumbles, and Isabelle winces at the sound of his voice. Gosh, he sounds horrid.

The professor huffs, gesturing him to move to his seat as he begins the lesson and drones on and on about dementors and the Patronus and how important it is. Isabelle doesn’t understand what the point of learning all that rubbish is if you aren’t going to learn how to cast one in the first place. Apparently, the spell is too difficult for students to cast it themselves. Then why the bloody hell are we learning it? To know what we should pray we had learnt back in school when we’re attacked by a dementor?

She notices Tom looking in her direction, and her hand travels down to her wrist. She remembers how he’d grabbed her even now. She wrinkles her nose at the memory and wonders if Tom and his friends have a thing for manhandling people, and if it’s a group thing to grab at the wrists of poor, unsuspecting students. Truly, they abuse their power.

She spends the rest of the class exchanging bored looks with Septimus, and proving to him that Slughorn did, in fact, do ballet.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“I’m telling you, Seb, he has the grace of a ballerina. And have you seen the way he carries himself? I swear it looks like the man’s about to burst into a pirouette any second-” her very convincing explanation is cut short as Avery grabs at her elbow, and drags her away.

She looks back at Septimus. I’m sorry but the dude you’ve been crushing on since you were 10 is dragging me off and I’ve gotta go.

Septimus only raises an eyebrow at that. I do not have a crush on him.

It seems odd to be able to converse that way through a look only, but she’s spent almost all her life with Septimus, and that’s enough time for her to learn how to decipher his looks and predict what he’s going to say next.

“Let go of my arm, Avery,” she commands, and he glares at her. He seems to remember what had happened earlier, though, because he relaxes his grip on her and hesitantly pulls back. Her lips curl up into a smile. Good.

They lead her into the dungeons, and up the staircase of the boys' dormitory. It’s empty save for a bored-looking Malfoy and a generally confused Rosier.

“Well?” she demands when he sits, crossing her hands in front of her. “Why did you bring me here?”

“That’s what I would like to know, too,” Rosier asks, raising a brow at Avery.

“Ellison,” Malfoy addresses her, “you’ve caused quite some trouble for us. Now, we aren’t petty school children-”

“But you are?” she interjects, and only smiles when Malfoy glares at her.

“-we are not petty school children, and your sudden…rise.” It was obvious that Malfoy was treading carefully, choosing his words with the utmost precaution. The thought made her smile. She decides to settle down on a chair next to the table and starts tapping her fingernails on the mahogany (or at least that’s what it looks like) of it, glancing around the room curiously.

“Instead, we are more concerned of your interest in Riddle,”

She stops, pausing for a moment, and slowly turns her gaze back to Malfoy, “I distinctly remember him being the one who approached me,” she says slowly, daring him to continue.

The idiot he is, he does, “Look, all I’m saying is leave him alone and we won’t have any difficulties-”

She stands, dusting off her clothes and says, “I thought Riddle would be here. Him sending the lot of you without him doesn’t seem like something up his alley. It’s too…” she trails off, searching for the right word, “cowardly. But I suppose there’s a reason he isn’t in Gry-” She cuts herself off with a gasp, doubling over with pain.

It is over in a moment, but she can still feel it ripping through her. Every part of her body screaming in anguish as the sharp, stinging pain courses through her. She isn’t new to the cruciatus curse, she’s experienced it enough times, but every time the pain is fresh.

She stands up with as much dignity she can muster, and stares at them. Avery looks hesitant, as though he’s waiting for her to strike out at any moment and has his hand on his wand. Rosier looks pale, and Malfoy has his wand out, pointing at her.

She wordlessly leaves, flinging the door shut before her. Her cheeks burn with shame, and she clutches her skirt tightly. Teasing was one thing, but humiliation such as this? She doesn’t cry then, and instead promises herself that she will get back at them.

Unrelated note but yay! 12 followers!!!

:D

[conflictandscotchblog]

Maybe baby?

That one month of not thinking about babies is over. We met with the specialist (“Tressel”). During our meeting, he said he was about to be called out to an ultrasound, “Kellie, you know the test where you had to hold it after drinking 2-4 liters of water?” I replied, “Yes. By all means go if they call you. I feel that woman’s pain.” [See prior post regarding Usain Bolt]

As predicted, Tressel could not be more enthusiastic, kind and willing to help us. What happened to us, in our particular case, “was like lightning striking”. It was a less than 1% chance of a miscarriage. I have already heard this from my ob, pcp and geneticist. I knew what he was going to say. This particular meeting was so my husband could hear it firsthand. What is so wonderful is that this doctor knows in detail what we have been through with adoptions and biologically. He told us in April he felt confident we would get pregnant and we did. Again, words we never thought we would say. He was right. Now, he is certain this can and will happen again but with success. He is so certain he has offered to do this at cost. In other words, he knows our gravy train is empty. He said he does not want nor need to make money off of us. He said sometimes bad things happen to good people and he wants to help us. He did not charge us for the visit yesterday and he was going to only charge us bare bones if we decide to do this again. He wants to waive all his fees. Wow. Kindness does exist. His plan would be the same ideology as before. Everything is great. My progesterone was just a bit low. Normal for a now 40 year old woman, but a bit low. The progesterone is like insurance to keep me from miscarrying. I do have to have a few more tests to check my hormone levels and to make sure that the “oven” has not been damaged by the miscarriage. No big deal. Other than that, IF we decide to do this again, it will be the same regimen. The bad news is that the progesterone is a big shot every morning at 5:00 a.m. every single day….for months. I actually cried when he told us we could stop the injections when I got pregnant. Baby? What baby? I was living day to day. I was excited for the shots to stop. I remember the specialist then asking, “Any other questions?” “Yes. When can I color my hair?” This is big important stuff here. I need answers. :)

The first time my husband gave me the progesterone shot, he had not seen the needle yet. He took one look at it and I thought he was going to pass out. I expected more from a homicide detective. He sees dead bodies regularly (and could eat a sandwich while doing it) and yet he actually said, in a low, breathy voice, “…that is one big ‘effin’ needle.” It sure is, but I did not understand what he was complaining about. The needle goes in me, not him. It reminded me of that movie “Conception” where Claire from Modern Family has to get shots and her husband is about to pass out. He says, “You do realize that if I pass out, you will have a giant needle stuck in your ass?” I had not even thought of that. Mental note to myself: Don’t watch movies named Conception prior to your (less than mechanical) husband giving you the first big shot.

My husband had to hit the targets circled in permanent marker on my back. Not my tush - more like my lower back. I would have done it myself but the angle is too difficult. I said a silent prayer the first time he did it. I kept trying NOT to think of the time he was kicking the new lawnmower in the back yard while screaming, “IT IS BROKEN!” only for me to walk out and discover it was out of gas. He can do this, I was thinking, as I was silently praying. And let me tell you, it hurts like a mother. I can tolerate pain really well. After all the tests I had been through, the shots were, by far, my least favorite. A few times, he would hit a vein and I was left with blood running down my legs and baseball sized hematomas. I had to have ice on the back of my office chair all day. The thought of going through that again, and all the exams, blood tests, etc., does not excite me. [This is where I ask that all mothers remind me it is worth it...] Blah. It is not really a pocketful of sunshine. I never pictured becoming a mother to involve so much poking and prodding…um…well, I mean medically.

I am waiting for some financial information. The specialist wanted to talk to the business department to let them know he is charging us next to nothing for this. I am not sure what “next to nothing” is to a zillionaire so I am not holding my breath. Plus, we have to see if our insurance, by some miracle, may pick up some of this cost now. If finances allow for one last attempt, I will do whatever my husband wants. I asked him what he thought yesterday and he said to me, “Don’t put this on me!” Why yes, I think I will. I am the one getting shots, exposing my yahoo to a variety of doctors, missing work for exams, blood tests and ultrasounds. I will be delivering our child. I am on board if finances allow but want my husband to make the final decision. A friend of mine said to me today, “Maybe he does not want to say that because you (and your body) have been through a lot. He does not want to pressure you into this decision after all you have been through.” Funny. I never thought of that. I was wondering if he was up for this again, never thinking he may be concerned about me. After the miscarriage, I was most concerned about him (see prior posts) rather than myself. I do not want to push him, but maybe he does not want to push me? Then, a co-worker butted in and said, “Kellie, YOU need to want the baby more than this. A baby is all consuming.” That is when my friend responded, “She has been doing this almost ten years! I think she is plenty prepared and knows exactly what she is doing!” (Friends are wonderful, aren’t they?).

What people, in particular some women like aforementioned co-worker, do not understand is that, after almost a decade, I am fine with what will be – whatever that is. I am not the hormonal, crazed woman that must have a baby. It is not that I don’t want us to be parents. It is that, if we are unable to be parents, it will still be okay. People dying of cancer would love to have this problem. Try one last time to have a baby or not? As I have posted earlier, it was never about having a baby but more about motherhood. It makes no difference to me how it happens. I don’t want to go bankrupt, have 10 miscarriages and/or end up divorced. I have seen that happen many times, believe it or not. Couples can go through horrid things while trying to expand their families, and even after becoming parents, are then in financial distress and end up getting a divorce. I feel for them. This process of trying to be parents is very trying. At the very least, I am proud of our resilience and attitude. At some point, I have to be okay with whatever happens. I am at that point. I love my husband and I want whatever he wants, but we won’t go bankrupt or get a divorce to achieve parenthood. At some point, you have to have faith that whatever happens, happens for a reason. For now, our current status is maybe.

Maybe baby?

Thanks for sharing, reading and commenting. As always, thanks for your support.

Until the next decision, socks.

Originally Published: Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Read More of KLC’s work, click here

Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

[junker-town]

NFL playoffs Panic Index 2018: Can the Saints beat the Panthers for a 3rd time?

The Rams are young and lack playoff experience, while the Chiefs and Bills are trying to end bad luck streaks. Here’s what you should worry about (or not) during Wild Card Weekend.

The NFC South was the most competitive division in the NFL — and the last one to crown a winner this year. The three NFC South teams that made it to the playoffs pounded on each other, but the Saints took home the title thanks to their season sweep of the Panthers in 2017.

Now it just so happens that the Saints and Panthers will meet again in New Orleans in the Wild Card round of the playoffs. If it’s hard to beat a team once, not to mention twice, then the odds seem stacked against the Saints for a third win this weekend.

Or are they?

There have been 20 different times since 1970 that a team has swept a division rival in the regular season and then faced them again in the playoffs, according to Elias Sports Bureau. That team completed the three-game sweep 13 of those 20 times. So history is on the Saints’ side in this one.

Panic index: Cam Newton’s coming off a three-interception performance and the worst quarterback rating of his career against the Falcons in Week 17. He’s got a career 7-7 record against New Orleans. If anyone should be panicking, it’s Panthers fans.

89 percent of the Rams roster has never seen the playoffs

The Rams have been a symbol of gridiron failure since 2004. They suffered through a 12-year playoff drought and four-plus seasons of Jeff Fisher’s “7-and-9 bullsh*t” while maintaining a constant presence in the top of of each year’s draft. Those lamentable years finally faded into the background in 2017, but LA’s renaissance has largely been a function of young and unappreciated players making plays — and that could be a major obstacle in the postseason.

None of the team’s most important players have ever played in an NFL playoff game. Not Jared Goff. Not Todd Gurley. Not Aaron Donald. Not Robert Quinn.

In fact, only six members of the team’s roster have ever played in the postseason before 2018. The most experienced player on that list is offensive tackle Andrew Whitworth, and he doesn’t exactly inspire confidence — his past with the Bengals gives him an 0-6 record in the playoffs. Former Viking John Sullivan is 1-3. Connor Barwin? 2-3. Lance Dunbar? 1-2.

That’ll be a disadvantage against a Falcons team that stands as the NFC’s only holdover from the 2017 playoffs. Atlanta peaked at just the right time to run to the Super Bowl, then cratered at just the worst time to become an overplayed meme. The team will almost certainly use that experience as a guide in January.

Panic index: The Rams have “youthful energy working for them and plan to use it, though history does not favor Los Angeles. The last time the Rams were in the playoffs, they lost to ... the Falcons.

The Falcons have a lousy record against playoff teams this season

The Falcons slid back into the postseason with a win over the Panthers in the final week of the season, giving them a shot at redemption after being humiliated by the Patriots in Super Bowl LI last year. But the Falcons’ record this season against playoff teams is reason to worry.

Atlanta played seven games this season against playoff teams. It won just two of those matchups: against the Alvin Kamara-less Saints and Week 17 against the Panthers.

That’s not encouraging, especially since none of those wins came against non-division foes and their Wild Card round opponent is the Rams. The NFC West wasn’t nearly as tough as the NFC South this year, but the Rams did finish with a winning record against playoff teams. Los Angeles played five games against teams that landed in the postseason and won three of them.

Panic index: Last year the Falcons went just 2-2 against playoff teams before January. It didn’t slow them down against the Seahawks and the Packers to make it to the Super Bowl. They also finished the 2017 season ranked in the top 10 in both scoring defense and total defense for the first time since 1998. That 1998 Falcons squad went to the Super Bowl, too.

The Bills have a good omen on their side ... and bad playoff mojo

The Bills are officially the feel-good story of the playoffs after beating the Dolphins and getting a little help from Andy Dalton to sneak into the final AFC Wild Card spot.

Snapping a 17-year playoff drought is one hurdle; winning their first postseason game since 1995 is another one entirely.

But there’s a statistical anomaly working in their favor.

The Bills are the seventh NFL team to make the playoffs with a point differential of minus-50 or worse. All six previous teams won their first playoff game. http://pic.twitter.com/z29atg0igV

— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) January 1, 2018

The 2010 Seahawks won with the Beast Quake. And who can forget the 2011 Broncos for helping create the legend of Tim Tebow and giving us media types a story to obsess over well past its expiration date. Could these Bills join this exclusive ring of overachievers?

Maybe! But they’ll have to overcome some of their own tragic history in the playoffs.

Perhaps you’re even old enough to remember their brutal run of four straight Super Bowl losses from 1991 to 1994, tainting the words “Wide Right” forever. Or maybe you recall the last time they went to the playoffs, in January 2000. They lost that game to the Titans, thanks to the Music City Miracle (the play that kept Jeff Fisher gainfully employed 15 years past his expiration date).

Maybe things are different this time.

Panic index: The Jaguars are favored by nine points. Oh, and their best offensive player, LeSean McCoy, might not play against the league’s most ferocious defense. Still, there’s too much fate tied up in this team ... right?

The Chiefs haven’t won a playoff game at home since 1994

The Chiefs don’t have quite the same level of playoff futility as their Midwestern brethren. Unlike the Lions, Bengals, and Browns, they’ve won a playoff game in the last two decades. A playoff game, literally.

Two seasons ago, the Chiefs got their first taste in 22 years of a postseason victory, crushing the Brian Hoyer-led Texans, 30-0, in Houston. The nine other playoff appearances in that time were all losses; five of them came at home, including last year’s agonizingly close 18-16 loss to the Steelers.

It’s now been 24 years since Kansas City has won a home playoff game. The Chiefs will get another chance to end that dreary skid this Saturday when they host the Titans, who are making their first trip to the postseason in nine years.

The Chiefs, despite their lack of recent playoff success, are the more experienced team in this matchup. They’ve made the postseason for three straight years and four out of the last five.

Two years ago, the Chiefs rebounded from a horrid 1-5 start to shock the league with a 10-game winning streak. Last year, they entered January as winners of eight of their last 10 and got a first-round bye because of it. This year, they shook off a midseason slump to end 2017 with four straight wins.

Yet, they still found ways to lose in gut-punching fashion in January. Their three playoff losses since 2014 have come by a total of 10 points. So while they’re favorites again this weekend, they’ve still got that Arrowhead Stadium curse hanging over them.

Panic index: The Chiefs’ last home playoff win came against the Steelers. Guess who they beat the next week (albeit on the road)? The Houston Oilers, aka the pre-Tennessee Titans. Does that mean much? Nothing at all. Is it a good sign? Sure, why not.

The Jaguars are out for revenge against the Bills

The Jaguars aren’t really ones to let bygones be bygones, so good luck to anyone standing in their way of some sweet revenge.

On the surface, you wouldn’t expect there to be much beef between two teams in different divisions who both ended significant playoff droughts. But that’s not the case for the Jags and the Bills, who will meet Sunday in a postseason game not many of us would have predicted.

Three years ago, Doug Marrone opted out of his contract with the Bills and now he’ll be the one trying to end Buffalo’s first trip to the playoffs in 18 years.

“The past is the past," the Jags head coach said at his Monday press conference. "I’m happy for them. We’ve earned it as well as they’ve earned it. My focus, obviously, is going to be on our football team. It’s as easy as that for me. My job is to coach this team. Plain and simple.”

But Jaguars defensive tackle Marcell Dareus may have a little more reason to take Sunday personally. Buffalo traded him to Jacksonville in October for a sixth-round pick, and it’ll be the first time he faces the team that drafted him third overall in 2011.

Just broke the news to Marcell Dareus that it’s #GoBills #Jaguars next week. His face lit up. “Get the f out of here! I am so excited! Glad it’s not Tennessee because they’re a sorry team.”

— Brian Chojnacki (@BroadcastingBri) January 1, 2018

Panic index: OK, that’s just a dig at the Titans. Either way, there’s a good chance there will be some hurt feelings after the game Sunday.

[variationalpokemonbreeder]

What are your fears? Hobbies? Are you afraid of any type of pokemon? Whats a super power you wish you had? Whats your favorite pokemon? What do you do in your free time? Why are you a breeder? Are you angry at the world? What's your least favorite food? Favorite food? Favorite seasons? Least favorite?

“Well, that’s a lot of questions, hun. But I don’t mind answerin’.”

1. What are your fears?“Well, that’s a pretty broad question when it comes down to it. So I guess I’ll just go with the ones that are on my mind most often. Right now, I’m afraid of what the world is going to become over the next few years... With Arceus being controlled by humans, a lot of bad has been happenin’. Humans are transformin’ into somethin’ else, and those humans are being captured and experimented on. Add that into everything that is happenin’ in terms of Pokemon being recklessly rounded up and captured only to be abandoned if they aren’t useful enough... Its just sad. I don’t look forward to what’ll happen once Arceus decides to put their foot down and punish humanity for all they’ve done.”

2. Hobbies?“To just throw out somethin’ that I do that doesn’t relate to work; I pole dance. Sometimes when I’m feeling especially bored on that one day a month that I’ll go to a bar, I’ll even go up on stage to dance.”

3. Are you afraid of any type of pokemon? “Ghost types. Without a doubt I’ve had a phobia of them ever since I first encountered one at trainers school... I’m also relatively anxious around Dragon types. But there’s some valid reasons for that.”

4. Whats a super power you wish you had? “Call me predictable but I’d just love to be able to understand my Pokemon. That’d make it so much easier to make sure I’m tendin’ to all of their needs.”

5. Whats your favorite Pokemon?“Based on those I have now, I’m incredibly fond of Stantler. Mostly due to their temperament.”

6. What do you do in your free time?“Usually I just relax at home. Sometimes I cook, sometimes I watch a movie.”

7. Why are you a breeder? “... There were a lot of reasons. I was originally inspired by my grandfather. Growin’ up, he’d tell me all sorts of stories about Pokemon who looked and acted differently than others of their species. Like an Onyx made completely out of ice, instead of rock. That inspiration turned into motivation as I grew up, and noticed how easily humans were abusing the knowledge that they had over Pokemon. I wanted to try and do somethin’ to give Pokemon a bit of an edge against humans... There’s more to it, but I’d rather not dwell on this to much.”

8. Are you angry at the world?“Incredibly. There’s a lot of reasons to be angry... Albeit, most of it is directed at humans.”

9. What's your least favorite food?“Lima beans. I can’t even swallow them they taste so horrid.”

10. Favorite food?“Geeze... Well, I don’t get it often, but I’ve got a soft spot for sushi. Especially the freshwater eel.”

11. Favorite season?“Spring. Its warm, but not to hot; and its usually full of flowers and lots of baby Pokemon to fawn over.”

12. Least favorite (season)?“I’d honestly say its a tie between Summer and Winter. They’re both horrid times of year in terms of temperatures, because I dislike being hot just as much as I dislike bein’ cold.”

“Hope that’ll satisfy your curiosity.”

[wiersema1]

The day is finally here. I’m not just talking about the debut of the 2017 college football season. I’m talking about the publishing of my own “College Football Spectacular” Preview, which has been a dream of mine since 2004. Seriously. Way back in another life in which I was a corporate salesman, I hated it so much that I was looking for a new career. I had a passion. I knew what that passion was, college football…….and publishing. So I set a goal of one day publishing a college football preview magazine. Now that the “Dutch Lion Sports” website is up and running, the day has finally arrived to unveil (at least in digital format) the “College Football Spectacular”!!!!

The main inspiration for my College Football Spectacular was this iconic magazine cover with two of my favorites, Jim McMahon and the Boz.

Inspired by the Sports Illustrated series of “College and Pro Football Spectacular” preview issues that they pumped out between 1982 and 1986, I’m bringing back this concept. Call it a retro magazine. Call it whatever you like. The Dutch Lion is pumped!

Someday this will become a hard copy printed magazine to be sold on the newsstands right next to Sports Illustrated, Sporting News, Street & Smith’s, Athlon’s, Lindy’s, and of course, Phil Steele’s. But for now this will tide us over online. So what’s got you pumped about college football this year? Let’s dive in and find out what the “Dutch Lion” has in store!

1982

1983

1984

1985

  Dutch Lion’s Top 25 College Football rankings:

Georgia – That’s right! Georgia is #1! We’re picking the Georgia Bulldogs to win this year’s National Championship. UGA……Between the Hedges…….I know it’s crazy but you’ll remember this prediction, right or wrong. I’m not just doing this to make noise. I truly believe in what Georgia is doing. I watched A LOT of Georgia tape this Summer and I truly believe in them. Their schedule is easier than you’d think. The biggest obstacles are at Notre Dame in Week 2, Florida in the “World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party” in Week 9, at Auburn in Week 11, and of course the SEC West Champion in the SEC Championship, presumably Alabama, on December 2. Phil Steele has them at #22 but acknowledges that they have a “solid opportunity” to get back to the SEC Championship for the first time since 2012. They have the 2nd most experienced team in the SEC (#13 in the nation) and are in Coach Kirby Smart’s 2nd year. I know this is a longshot but trust me. Their recruiting has been outrageous the last couple of years. With Coach Kirby Smart bringing his Alabama style defense to Athens, the Bulldogs will thrive like they have in Tuscaloosa. Uber recruit Jacob Eason enters his Sophomore year at QB. They return both Senior RB’s Nick Chubb and Sony Michel. They have Uber recruit Isaac Nauta at TE. Over on defense, this swarming unit has 10 returning starters! Now that they’re in the 2nd year of Smart’s system, they should improve dramatically. Georgia will win the National Championship within the next 3 seasons, so why not this year? Go Dawgs! “Glory, Glory, Hallelujah…….!” 

Florida St. – Clemson may not be FSU’s biggest competition in the ACC this year. It might be Louisville, Miami, Virginia Tech, or even N.C. State.

Oklahoma St. – This team is rock solid. Big break with Bob Stoops retiring. The Cowboys should win the Big 12.

USC – This team will be Pac 12 Champions. Sam Darnold, Ronald Jones, Deontay Burnett on offense. Cameron Smith, Iman Marshall, and Porter Gustin on defense. They are defending Rose Bowl Champions. They beat Pac 12 Champion Washington last year in Seattle. They have a hard schedule but no Washington until maybe the Pac 12 Championship game. Their toughest test might be Stanford in Week 2.

Alabama – I’ll give the Crimson Tide two losses (at least) this year: the opener vs FSU and the SEC Championship vs Georgia.

Auburn – How far can new QB Jarrett Stidham and their excellent running game take them? Once again Auburn has a difficult SEC schedule including games at LSU, at Arkansas, and at Texas A&M. Throw in home games vs Georgia and Alabama. Top it off with a non-con at Clemson and we’re looking at plenty of opportunities for the Tigers………but also plenty of potential landmines.

Notre Dame – ND has talent but is Coach Kelly’s time running out? I’m mad at him because of last year’s disaster in which he admittedly took a year off. Time for a change in South Bend.

Michigan – Coach Harbaugh has brought in tons of top talent. He’ll take down Urban Meyer for the first time but will probably slip up elsewhere.

LSU – They’re always good. I think Coach Orgeron might be an excellent choice to succeed Les Miles. Derrius Guice will win a lot of games for the Tigers. Geaux Tigers!

Washington – The Huskies won the Pac 12 and went all the way to the Playoffs where they lost to Alabama in the Semifinals 24-7. They have to replace a lot of NFL draftees but return plenty of firepower in QB Jake Browning, RB Myles Gaskin, and WR Dante Pettis. On defense, they have DT Vita Vea, LB Azeem Victor, LB Keishawn Bierria, and don’t forget about super Soph safety Taylor Rapp. Overall, the culture that Coach Chris Petersen has installed in Seattle has taken hold. The Huskies are now rolling like they haven’t since the Don James days. Watch out for a long run of success up in the Great Northwest.

Ohio St. – Hard to tell with this OSU team this year. They lost so much talent to the NFL again, but they keep recruiting replacements. However, their secondary is so inexperienced. Here’s betting it will keep them from winning the Big Ten.

Stanford – Sleeper!

Penn St.

Louisville

Boise St.

TCU

Oklahoma

Wisconsin – They have a really easy schedule (70th in the nation). But are they that good? I like Coach Paul Chryst. I think QB Hornibrook is overrated. Their recent injuries to LB’s must have them worried.

West Virginia – I love what Dana Holgorsen is building in Morgantown. He’s known for his offense but quietly his defense is building into a solid, respectable unit. In the Big 12, that means something. They can actually stop some of these high-octane offenses built to outscore teams 50-49. WVU only allowed 24.0 ppg last season, which is quite an accomplishment when you’re facing Baylor, Texas Tech, etc. on a weekly basis. They held Baylor to 21. They held Texas Tech to 17. They held Texas to 20, Kansas St. to 16, TCU to 10, Iowa St. to 19, Kansas to 21. They only had two bad defensive performances, allowing 37 at Oklahoma St. and allowing 56 in that horrid, snowy weather at home in November vs Oklahoma. Other than those two games, they had an incredible defensive year, finishing at 10-3. This year they have a new QB in Will Grier but he might be better than last year’s starter Skyler Howard. Howard wasn’t that skilled but boy he had moxie. WVU goes into my Sleeper category too.

Virginia Tech

Clemson

Nebraska! – Sleeper!

Kansas St. – Sleeper!

Michigan St.

Washington St. – Wazzu loves the Palouse! They have 7 home games and 5 road games this year. That’s pretty normal. The strange part is they don’t leave the Palouse until Week 6 when they travel to Oregon. That means 5 of their last 7 are on the road. You know what, I’m starting to wonder why I put the Cougars at #25. Scratch this prediction. I love Mike Leach but looking at their schedule, they’re going 7-5 or 6-6 (I’m not sure they’ll win at Utah). That’s not Top 25 worthy. Scratch the Cougs.

The REAL #25 – N.C. State – Sleeper!

2017 Playoff Predictions:

Sugar Bowl: #1 Georgia over #4 USC

Rose Bowl: #2 Florida St. over #3 Oklahoma St.

2017 National Championship Prediction:

Mercedes-Benz Stadium (Atlanta): #1 Georgia over #2 Florida St.

Top 5 Most Anticipated Games

Ohio St. at Michigan in Week 13 (November 25): “The Game” is now in Year 3 of the Second Ten Year War between Urban “Oscar” Meyer and Jim Harbaugh. I expect Harbaugh to get his 1st victory in this series.

Florida vs Georgia in Week 9 (October 28): The “World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party” will determine the SEC East Champion.

Georgia at Notre Dame in Week 2 (September 9): The South invades the North, which is so rare it hurts. Look it up. How many SEC teams travel North…..ever! If they challenged themselves more often, we wouldn’t have such an ‘SEC dominates’ bias in the national media.

Wisconsin at Nebraska in Week 6 (October 7): Huskers need to start a winning streak over Wisconsin to prove dominance in the B1G West. Last year’s heartbreaking OT loss in Madison was tough to take but I think it gave the program some confidence in what they’re trying to do. And that BS (non) call in OT on the 3rd down pass interference against Jordan Westerkamp? That was complete bogus. We had that game and the Badgers got lucky.

Penn St. at Ohio St. in Week 9 (October 28): After what happened last year, this one should be fun. It might determine the B1G East crown.

Top 5 Sleepers (Underrated teams)

Stanford – You know how sometimes teams struggle when they have one superstar? That’s what happened to Stanford last year with RB Christian McCaffrey. We’ve seen this before. 1997-98 Tennessee comes to mind. In ’97 the Vols relied on Peyton Manning so much that they faltered. When they replaced Manning with Tee Martin in ’98, the rest of the team stepped up to account for that major loss. They ended up winning the National Championship. Last year Stanford went 10-3 with crazy upset losses to Washington, Washington St., and Colorado. It seemed like they relied on McCaffrey to do everything. Now that he’s gone, the rest of the Cardinal might step up in his stead. I’m not saying National Champs, but I think they’ll give USC and Washington a run for their money in the Pac 12.

Kansas St. – Always solid, this year K-State returns a senior QB in “Jami Gertz?” Jesse Ertz. (I know, the nickname isn’t for everybody). Last year they finished with a 4 game winning streak to end up at 9-4.  They have 14 returning starters and this might be, could be Coach Bill Snyder’s swan song. KSU = sleeper.

West Virginia – Sometimes teams get forgotten about by the national media because they don’t have anything “new” to report. Now that Dana Holgorsen is going into his 7th year, the media gets a bit stale on a regime. Quietly, Holgorsen is building his program the proper way. They went 8-5 in ’15, then 10-3 last year. They have one of the best defenses in the Big 12. It all adds up to a Big 12 sleeper team.

Nebraska – As a huge Huskers fan I’m obviously biased. However, nobody is giving Coach Mike Riley any love. All they talk about is his past and the depleted Huskers recruiting ground, etc. I for one think this team might be pretty good. All the momentum is rolling the right way. The recruiting is picking up. The offense is changing to accommodate the coaches specialty, the pro style passing game. The defense is transitioning to the 3-4 by bringing in new DC Bobby Diaco. I love what’s going on in Lincoln. Phil Steele is picking Neb to finish 3rd in the B1G West behind Northwestern. Oh please! In the words of Kirk Herbstreit, “Never underestimate the power of a program like Nebraska”. I’m with you Kirk. The Huskers might surprise this year with underrated QB Tanner Lee guiding us to victory.

N.C. State – In the words of Phil, “N.C. State is a surprise contender in the rugged ACC Atlantic division.” I agree. They get Clemson and Louisville at home. Their toughest games are at Florida St. and at Notre Dame. The Wolfpack might finish 3rd or 4th in their division, but they are a solid team with 17 returning starters from a 7-6 squad. Beware of the Wolfpack!

Top 5 Paper Champions (Overrated)

Tennessee – How are these guys ranked? They were good/not great last season and lost QB Josh Dobbs, RB Jalen Hurd, RB Alvin Kamara, WR Josh Malone, DE Derek Barnett, DE Corey Vereen, etc. from last season’s 9-4 team

Clemson – I loved your National Championship last year but without QB DeShaun Watson, RB Wayne Gallman, WR Mike Williams, WR Artavis Scott, TE Jordan Leggett, MLB Ben Boulware, DT Carlos Watkins, CB Cordrea Tankersley, S Jadar Johnson, etc. I can’t argue for you guys to be #5 in the rankings. I love respecting teams for what they’ve done but they have no chance at finishing in the top 5 this year.

Florida – As usual, they are getting hype, but their offense stinks. They will lose AT LEAST 4 games again this year, and probably more.

Texas – As usual, they are getting hype, but they were only 5-7 last year and now they have a new coach. Tom Herman might be the answer, but first they must figure out what’s been broken since Colt McCoy left after 2009. Please AP voters, don’t rank these guys yet. They stink!

Northwestern – What is it about Northwestern that makes me nervous? As a Nebraska fan, I’m not nervous about losing to them. I’m nervous FOR them every year the local Chicago media starts hyping them up. This year they return some key pieces from a 7-6 team and therefore the locals are all jacked up. When I look at their schedule, I see a 7-5 record with losses at Duke, at Wisconsin, vs Penn St., vs Michigan St., and at Nebraska……at least! They could blow a game vs Iowa or at Maryland or Minnesota too. Bottom line is Coach Fitzgerald gets a free pass around here. They think he is such a great coach but his career record is 77-62. Sure they have recruiting problems in Evanston. I get it, but you need to do more than your career-best 10-3 record at least once when you’ve been there for 11 years already. If you were so good last year, then you shouldn’t have lost 9-7 to Illinois St……at home. Prove it!

“Dutch Lion’s” Favorite Players

Washington QB #3 Jake Browning

USC RB #25 Ronald “RoJo II” Jones

West Virginia RB #25 Justin “Taco Bell” Crawford

Georgia RB #1 Sony “Playstation” Michel 

Houston DT #10 Ed Oliver

Georgia OLB #7 Lorenzo Carter – Is he Leonard Floyd all over again?

Auburn RB #36 Kamryn Pettway – I love big backs that weigh 237 pounds but run like freight trains. “Bubba” reminds some of the “Brahma Bull” Alley Broussard from LSU.

Ohio St. OLB #17 Jerome Baker

Michigan St. RB #3 L.J. Scott – Runs like Lawrence Phillips

Nebraska RB #18 Tre Bryant

Illinois WR #18 Mike Dudek – Let’s hope he’s healthy again after tearing his knees up two years in a row.

Notre Dame MLB #5 Nyles Morgan

Oregon RB Royce Freeman

Georgia LB Natrez Patrick

Washington WR Dante Pettis

Special Shout-Outs to former Stevenson HS stars (many of them on our 2014 Illinois State Champions team) now toiling away at these random schools until they become stars:

Michigan St. starting FS #10 Matt Morrissey

Northwestern backup TE/Superback #84 Cameron Green

Miami (OH) WR #8 Jack Sorenson

Wheaton College DL #47 Pat O’Connell

Purdue QB #13 Aidan O’Connell

Albany DL #54 Nick Dillon

Wisconsin LB Mike Maskalunas

Western Michigan RT #75 Zach Novoselsky

Iowa WR #13 Henry Marchese

Illinois LB #41 Jimmy Marchese

Illinois DB #42 Michael Marchese

Columbia LB #55 Jason Vravick

Is that all? I’m sure I’m forgetting some guys. Please forgive me.

2017 All-America Team

QB1/Pocket Passer Jake Browning/Washington/#3/JR/6’2″ 205 – 3430 passing yards, 43 TD, 9 INT, 4 rushing TD

QB2/Dual Threat Lamar Jackson/Louisville/#8/JR/6’3″ 200 – 3543 passing yards, 30 TD, 9 INT, 1571 rushing yards, 21 rushing TD

RB Ronald “RoJo II” Jones/USC/#25/JR/6’1″ 195 – 1082 rushing yards, 12 TD

RB Saquon Barkley/Penn St./#26/JR/5’11” 228 – 1496 rushing yards, 18 TD, 402 receiving yards, 4 TD

WR James Washington/Oklahoma St./#28/SR/6’0″ 205 – 71 catches, 1380 yards, 10 TD

WR Dante Pettis/Washington/#8/SR/6’1″ 192 – 53 catches, 822 yards, 15 TD

TE Mike Gesicki/Penn St./#88/SR/6’6″ 253 – 48 catches, 679 yards, 5 TD

FB/TE/H-Back Jaylen Samuels/N.C. State/#1/SR/5’11” 223 – 33-189-6-5.7 rushing, 55-565-7 receiving

OT Mitch Hyatt/Clemson/#75/JR/6’5″ 295

OT Mike McGlinchey/Notre Dame/#68/SR/6’8″ 312

OG Cody O’Connell/Washington St./#76/SR/6’8″ 354 – A mountain of a man

OG Quenton Nelson/Notre Dame/#56/JR/6’5″ 329

C Frank Ragnow/Arkansas/#72/SR/6’6″ 319

DE Sam Hubbard/Ohio St./#6/JR/6’5″ 265 – 46 tackles, 4.5 TFL, 3.5 sacks, 2 PBU, 4 hurries

DT Christian Wilkins/Clemson/#42/JR/6’4″ 310 – 56 tackles, 9.5 TFL, 3.5 sacks, 10 PBU, 5 hurries

DT Vita Vea/Washington/#50/JR/6’5″ 344 – OMG SIZE! 39 tackles, 1.5 TFL, 5 sacks, 2 PBU, 2 hurries

DT Trent Thompson/Georgia/#78/JR/6’4″ 295 – Beast! 56 tackles, 4.5 TFL, 5 sacks, 7 hurries

DE Bradley Chubb/N.C. State/#9/SR/6’4″ 275 – 58 tackles, 11.5 TFL, 10.5 sacks, 7 hurries

OLB Jerome Baker/Ohio St./#17/JR/6’1″ 225 – 83 tackles, 6 TFL, 3.5 sacks, 2 INT

ILB Cameron Smith/USC/#35/JR/6’2″ 245 – 83 tackles, 6 TFL, 1 sack, 4 PBU

ILB Nyles Morgan/Notre Dame/#5/SR/6’1″ 238 – 94 tackles, 2 TFL, 4 sacks, 3 PBU

OLB Roquan Smith/Georgia/#3/JR/6’1″ 225 – 95 tackles, 5 TFL, 1 PBU, 5 hurries

CB D.J. Reed/Kansas St./#2/JR/5’9″ 188 – Amazing numbers for a CB! 75 tackles, 16 PBU! 3 INT! 1 hurry.

CB Aaron Davis/Georgia/#35/SR/6’1″ 189 – Great at run support (54 tackles, 2 INT). Did you see his stuff of Alvin Kamara in last year’s game? Impressive technique.

SS Minkah Fitzpatrick/Alabama/#29/JR/6’1″ 201 – 66 tackles, 4 TFL, 1 sack, 7 PBU, 6 INT!, 4 TD on 8 INT over last 2 years!

FS Derwin James/Florida St./#3/SO/6’3″ 211 – “Looks the Part” Herbie Award winner. I couldn’t agree more. Only had 2 starts last year prior to injury; 2015 stats: 91 tackles, 5 PBU in 8 starts

KR Quadree Henderson/Pitt/#10/JR/5’8″ 190 – 30 KR, 914 yards, 30.5 avg, 3 TD, 100 Long

PR De’Mornay Pierson-El/Nebraska/#15/SR/5’9″ 195 – 23 PR, 168 yards, 7.3 avg, 0 TD last year. Can he regain his pre-injury form from 2014?

K Daniel Carlson/Auburn/#38/SR/6’4″ 218 – 44-44 PAT, 28-32 FG, 53 Long, 4-7 from 50+, only 1 missed FG out of 25 attempts under 50 yards!

P Mitch Wishnowsky/Utah/#33/JR/6’2″ 220 – 64 punts, 47.7 avg, 44.6 net avg, 1st Team AA and Ray Guy Award Winner

Best Names in all the Land, AKA “The Chris Blewitt Award” (Blewitt was a kicker who blew 3 PAT’s and missed 7 of 10 FG’s last year for Pitt)

Arkansas St. DL Dee Liner – is this for real? (His twin brother is named “O”……just kidding)

Arizona St. DE JoJo Wicker

Arizona OT Gerhard de Beer

Washington WR Chico McClatcher

Oklahoma St. DE Cole Walterscheid

Minnesota DE Winston DeLattiboudere

Nebraska DE Freedom Akinmoladun

Northwestern S Godwin Igwebuike

Wisconsin WR Jazz Peavy

Indiana LB Tegray Scales

Kentucky C Jervontius “Bunchy” Stallings

Eastern Michigan DL Lion King

Best stadiums

Neyland Stadium, Knoxville, TN – Drove by the other day……WOW! Sailing up to Neyland on the Tennessee river is so cool that even Jim Nantz had to try it, way back in 1990.

Memorial Stadium, Lincoln, NE – A special place. There’s nothing quite like it. “There is No Place Like Nebraska” as “The Good Life” reigns in the Heartland.

Autzen Stadium, Eugene, OR – How does a place that small make that much noise? It’s the acoustics. They love the reverberating roofs in the Pacific Northwest.

Husky Stadium, Seattle, WA – On the shores of Lake Washington, the Huskies play to crowds that tend to make the TV cameras shake during big moments. I love it!

Memorial Stadium, Clemson, SC – One of the most raucous crowds I’ve ever seen was at Clemson for last year’s ABC Primetime matchup with Lamar Jackson and Louisville. What a scene in Death Valley!! Shivers.

Tiger Stadium, Baton Rouge, LA – The “Eye of the Tiger” at midfield intimidates visiting teams. LSU has had 3 undefeated home seasons since 2010.

Sanford Stadium, Athens, GA – Between the Hedges is a must see for the serious college fan. They just do it better in the South. Doesn’t it just seem a little brighter during day games in Athens?

Ben Hill Griffin Stadium, Gainesville, FL – The Swamp used to be so intimidating during the old Steve Spurrier Era. Now……not so much. Still, the stadium is amazing and a bucket list item for many.

Beaver Stadium, State College, PA – Penn St.’s Happy Valley isn’t as happy as it used to be. Some of the mystique is gone now that Joe Paterno has left the building. I don’t care for this stadium that much during the day, never did. But when the lights go out and the crowd goes “WHITE OUT!”……yeah, it’s right up there with the best venues in all the land. Is that a sack by PSU? I can hear the Nittany Lion roaring from hundreds of miles away.

Memorial Stadium, Champaign, IL – This stadium is an underrated monument to those Illinoisans that fell in World War I. The columns, the history, and the layout all inspire modern stadium constructions. With the new Red Grange statue outside on the West end for all tailgaters to view, it would be nice if the Illini could up their game INSIDE the stadium so Fighting Illini fans could fully appreciate a beautiful fall Saturday game day. I’ve been there when the place was rocking and it was magical.

And one more all-timer – Miami’s original Orange Bowl Stadium – Did they have to close this place? What a shame. This place was one of the greatest stadiums in the world, with more history of both college and pro football than almost anywhere else. Think of all the Dolphins playoff games, Super Bowls, Hurricanes games, and of course the classic Orange Bowls that often capped National Championships on New Year’s night. It was an old dump when they replaced it but it will live as the heart of the game forever. “THE CITY OF MIAMI WELCOMES YOU TO THE ORANGE BOWL” while the palm trees waved and the ‘Canes ran out of the tunnel with the smoke blasting. And then to hear Don Criqui welcoming the NBC audience…………breathtaking and unforgettable.

Top 3 Games I’ve seen in person (in countdown order) –

#3 Michigan St. at Northwestern, September 29, 2001 – This one turned out to be very exciting as several big name players had big games on this beautiful Indian Summer day in Evanston. MSU WR Charles Rogers showed off his athleticism. Northwestern QB Zak Kustok (one of my favorite players ever) was spectacular. If there were a greatest games list of 2001, this would surely make the top 10. Three lead changes in the last 30 seconds were capped by a Kustok to Jon Schweighardt Hail Mary to get into field goal range where David Wasielewski won it for the Wildcats with a 47 yarder as time expired. Final score: Northwestern 27, Michigan St. 26. Wo wo wo! It was definitely one of the greatest days I’ve ever spent in Evanston along with my wife, brother-in-law Jay, and sister-in-law Rachel.

#2 Northwestern at Nebraska, November 2, 2013 – I took my son Trev to his first Nebraska game on his 7th birthday. To make a long story short, I was shocked and saddened that it looked to be a loss for the Huskers. But then something amazing happened. Ameer Abdullah converted a 4th and 15 reception into an incredible 16 yard gain. Then Ron Kellogg III launched a Hail Mary and guess who snooped in to grab the touchdown? None other than local legend #1 Jordan Westerkamp. A new hero was born that day and my son was ecstatic. Then a Nebraska magazine “Hail Varsity” wrote an article about Trev’s first game experience. Final score: Nebraska 27, Northwestern 24. As we refer to it now, it was a special day.

#1 Penn St. at Illinois November 12, 1994 – We were literally pumped for this game ALL WEEK on campus as #2 Penn St. came rolling into town. Illinois had an excellent defense but lackluster offense in the mid-90s. With cold, windy weather in the forecast, we could not WAIT to get those Nittany Lions in our House of ‘Paign. So what happened? College kids got saucy, the Fighting Illini roared to a 21-0 lead, and the crowd went bonkers. Then QB Kerry Collins, RB Ki-Jana Carter, WR Bobby Engram, and TE Kyle Brady started their comeback. Typical Illini heartbreak as PSU drove the field to win. Final score: Penn St. 35, Illinois 31. This game typifies most what it means to be an Illini fan. It can rip your heart out. Nonetheless, it remains the greatest game I’ve ever attended.

Turn Back the Clock Two Decades – 20 Years Ago (1997)

For the Dutch Lion’s final feature in this year’s “College Football Spectacular”, let’s turn back the clock two decades to…….1997. The ’97 Nebraska Cornhuskers were one of my favorite Huskers groups ever. QB Scott Frost overcame the fan hostility from 1996 to make Head Coach Tom Osborne’s final season a Championship season. Frost is one of my all-time favorites. Watch the way he runs with physical determination. Watch the “never say die” attitude. Sure he was limited as a passer. His throwing shoulder probably ached from all the pounding of 176 carries. Think Tim Tebow. That’s what Frost was like a decade before Tebow. With RB Ahman Green churning out yardage as the OL Pipeline paved the way, these Cornhuskers mashed opponents into submission. When they faced QB Peyton Manning and Tennessee in the Orange Bowl, the Blackshirts took out their aggression on the Volunteers. Final score: Nebraska 42, Tennessee 17. Frost pleaded with the media to give “that great man” Tom Osborne the respect he deserved. Sure enough, the Huskers split the National Championship with Michigan, Rose Bowl winners over Washington St. 21-16. Michigan had Heisman Trophy winner CB Charles Woodson. Many people think Manning should’ve won the Heisman that year. How about Scott Frost or Ahman Green? Frost rushed for 1095 yards (6.2 ypc) and 19 TD. Green rushed for 1877 yards (6.8 ypc) with 22 TD. The Heisman is a media driven stat and frankly, the national media were tired of the Cornhuskers. That’s why it went Woodson’s way. That’s ok. Woodson was a truly great player that I predicted would become an NFL Hall of Famer. The true fans know what’s up.

To recap, the “Dutch Lion” has wisely learned from 30+ years of fandom that you never know what might happen in college football. You never know when you’ll attend a historic game. If you’re lucky, you’ll make it to a few of them along the way. If you’re passionate about a team, you’ll enjoy the entire national scene. So enjoy it all. Don’t assume anything. Use that advice and you too will learn that college football is truly spectacular! Enjoy the games this 2017 season! And remember……Georgia is #1!

Dutch Lion’s 2017 College Football Spectacular! The day is finally here. I'm not just talking about the debut of the 2017 college football season.