#i will be honest here. this was a practice thing i did for layer clipping.

[bajablastable]

twitter liked this one

[jelzorz]

77.

semi-relevant to motherhood

It's not like it was a complete surprise. If Rayla's being honest, then she can admit that Callum'd been acting a bit weird for ages, and she'd wondered, and even hoped, that there would be a ring involved, but when he'd presented it—

Well. Even if she can't say she wasn't that surprised, the rush, the love, the heart-stopping, tear-inducing thrill of Callum getting down on one knee with the ring box in his hand had still made her giddy beyond anything she could describe.

It was wonderful at first. It was everything she'd secretly hoped but never wanted to admit. Rayla'd never been particularly inclined towards the pomp and circumstance of weddings, but for the first week or so, it was ridiculous and exciting, and she understands now why so many people make such a big deal out of it. For the first time, she found herself wanting the flowers, and the fancy invites, and the videographer, and it'd taken the better part of the week to remind herself that those things didn't matter, and that she'd never wanted any of it, and that the Big Wedding had had never been her and Callum's style, but still.

In any case, when her brain settled and her heart could beat steady again, even when she found herself admiring her ring in the sunlight, there was one typical-wedding thing she decided she did want, and of course, Callum had no complaints over it but... she thinks, perhaps, that, now, she does.

"How's it going in there?"

Rayla's first instinct is to snarl, but she tempers herself. The attendant is doing her best, and it's not her fault every dress in this godforsaken store is awful. The one she's climbing into now has so many layers of tulle that it stands up on its own, and Rayla grimaces at her reflection, even when the attendant pulls the dressing room curtain back to attach two bull clips to the back of the dress.

"I think this one looks lovely," she's saying. "Strapless is always a classic, and this particular dress is popular among girls getting married in the spring."

Rayla bites back the sass on her tongue. "We were considering it," she says. "Katolis is nice in the spring but... You know what weddings are like in the spring."

"I sure do," chuckles the attendant. She gathers up the back of the dress in an armful so large Rayla can barely see her behind it and jerks her head towards the viewing platforms. Rayla does her best not stumble over the too-long, too-floofy hem and makes a face at her mother and soon-to-be mother-in-law before either of them can say anything.

"Oh," says Mum. She purses her lips. "You look beautiful, dear," she says after a moment (Rayla's lips pull downwards more), before she follows it up with, "but I don't know that it's really your style."

"It's certainly... nice," adds Mom carefully, "but I think Tia might be right."

"Mm." Rayla scrutinizes her reflection when she turns and hopes the disgust isn't as obvious as she thinks it is. It's an ivory ball gown, embroidered in silver and embellished with sequins, and very much not her style at all. It's too... much. She's always been about practicality, particularly knowing that she has to dance in this thing too, and this? This is not practical at all.

The attendant cocks her head patiently. "Why don't we try something else?" she suggests.

Rayla hesitates because this is the eighth style the attendant's suggested and she's not sure she's got the energy for another.

"Just one more," says the attendant. "I have... one other thing you might like. I'll just be a minute." She smiles and disappears into the recesses of the shop, and Rayla waits until she's well out of earshot before she groans and waddles awkwardly off the platform.

"What if I just skip the dress?"

"I mean, if you want," offers Mum, "but I thought this was the one thing you didn't want to compromise on."

"I was wrong," snaps Rayla, collapsing into the space between them. The tulle smothers them both. "I can find a sundress or something. I'd get married in a sack if it meant not doing this anymore."

"Not that Callum would care but I think a sack might be a little too impertinent." Mom chuckles patiently over the pile of tulle and smooths it down with her hands.

Rayla snorts and sinks further into the couch. "How'd you two do this?"

Mum and Mom exchange simpering glances.

"Patiently," says Mom drily.

"Very patiently," adds Mum.

Rayla bristles. She'd thought finding a wedding dress would be fun. Admittedly, it was, at first, but she's getting tired and frustrated, and she's been through eight dresses now and it's starting to put on her on edge. "I don't even know what I was thinking," she mutters at last. "I just... Wanted to look nice, I guess. It's my wedding day."

"Honey," Mum chuckles. "You're allowed to want that. Callum would think you look beautiful no matter what you wear, but the sentiment is still valid. Maybe... we're just looking in the wrong place. There are other shops."

"If they're anything like this one, hard pass." Rayla shifts uncomfortably and sinks further into the dress. "It's just stupidly hard. All of it. We just want a nice day."

"That is the way of weddings, unfortunately," says Mom. "But it will be nice. If you don't want to do this, you don't have to. You two could elope and it wouldn't matter. It's your day."

"We'd like to be invited," teases Mum, "but in all seriousness, Rayla, it's what you want that matters. And if you don't want this, we're with you. Callum too, we're sure."

"You think so?"

"We know so," says Mom. "Wedding planning is hard, but we're here to help."

They lapse into a pause. Rayla traces the embroidery on the sequined skirt and takes the moment to centre herself--it's only a dress and there's plenty of time--when the attendant returns with one, final dress: an airy, a-line, cap-sleeved gown with lace across the bodice and lined along the hem. There are no layers. There's no train. No strange stylistic choices for the sake of being unique.

It's simple. Elegant. Pretty. Rayla feels hope bubbling in her chest and her mood lifting, just a little.

"One last," says the attendant with a smile.

"Go on, honey," says Mum. "One more. I've got a feeling about this one."

Rayla can't help it. She smiles too. "Yeah. So do I."

[katzkinder]

Pomegranate Seeds, Give My Life To Thee

“This is so troublesome I could just die.”

“It’s not that big a deal. I’m immortal, after all.”

“Thanks, but I’d rather kill myself.”

Mahiru hates the way his Servamp talks.

There were a number of things Mahiru disliked about Kuro.

Getting oil on the controllers, leaving crumbs and empty chip bags behind, forgetting to take stuff out of his pockets before chucking his dirty laundry into the bin, not managing to make the dirty laundry get to the bin at all, and most annoying was certainly Kuro’s habit of snacking just before meal times.

But these were all small things. Minor things. Things that Kuro had, he had to admit, improved upon since they had begun living together. The sort of things you’d expect from someone who had essentially lived for who knows how long as a bachelor (he thinks? He’s still honestly not sure on just what kind of relationship Kuro and Gear had had in the past. Thinking too hard on it made his heart twist) and then however many decades as a homeless bum. And he was proud of him! Of course he was.

These were things he could overlook. Easily help Kuro improve on. Nag him into submission about, though the housewife and “yes mommy” jokes were getting stale. But there were some things, some habits, some phrases… He just couldn’t stand. And it ate at him.

“This is so troublesome I could just die.”  

“It’s not that big a deal. I’m immortal, after all.”  

“Thanks, but I’d rather kill myself.”  

“Who cares? I’m immortal.”

“I do.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself, and Kuro blinked up at him, lackadaisical in even his surprise at how… Firmly it had come out. The bag of chips, once full of empty calories and now empty itself thanks to the Servamp’s habitual snacking, crinkled noisily in the still air. The burgeoning argument over Kuro’s dietary habits had come to a halt before it even really started, yet somehow Mahiru felt as if it would have been better, simpler to just let it play out like usual.

Mahiru couldn’t find it in him to care. Not when all these bubbling, festering, unpleasant feelings were reaching a boiling point over such a tiny phrase.

He swallowed, Kuro’s eyes flicking down momentarily to track the motion in his throat, then back to his eyes, and Mahiru felt another pang, along with another stroke of anger that quickly cooled to simmering annoyance.

“You’re starving yourself again, aren’t you?”

Kuro broke their impromptu staring contest at the accusation, gaze drifting somewhere else, anywhere else in the tiny apartment living room as he literally turned his back on his Eve, returning to the safe, artificial light and colorful world of his handheld.

“I was literally just eating chips,” he mumbled, all the petulance of a child who knows they are guilty in his drawled words. He scooched the empty bag closer to himself, posture practically screaming that he wanted Mahiru to let it alone, let the sleeping lion lie.

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.”

“... Why does it matter? It’s not like there’s any danger here. I’m fine. I’m-”

“Yes! I get it! You’re immortal! But... that’s not the problem!”

He was also not very fond of the way Kuro never wanted to address anything until things were nearly as a breaking point.

The heat in his chest was back, along with a bit of bitter satisfaction at the way his outburst had made Kuro turn to really look at him. But then his partner was standing, and the look on his face was so full of concern, gingerly taking the laundry basket from Mahiru’s hands and setting it aside so that they could stand face to face and Mahiru resisted the urge to bow his head in shame. The vampire caught his bottom lip between his teeth, worrying it in a way that worried Mahiru.

A gentle thumb just below it made Kuro freeze, sanguine eyes widening ever so slightly when Mahiru carefully pulled it free, voice uncharacteristically gentle for his scolding.

“Stop that. You’ll make yourself bleed.”

“... Sorry. Didn’t even realize I was doing it…”

“That seems to be a running theme with you.” Mahiru winced ever so slightly at the harsher than he’d meant wording, but Kuro didn’t seem to mind. Or, at the least, was too concerned with other matters to mind at the moment.

“Mahi…” Kuro’s voice had taken on that softer, more raspy quality that Mahiru recognized as sincerity, and coupled with the nickname, he couldn’t help but soften just a bit more himself. “I…” Another pause, Kuro moving to take his lip between his teeth again but managing to stop himself. His fingers twitched ever so slightly, and Mahiru reached for it, carefully interlocking their hands. “What is the problem, then? This… Isn’t just about the blood, is it?”

Biting down a snarky comment, Mahiru replied, “No, it’s not,” gripping the larger hand in his own more securely, knowing far too well that Kuro was liable to bolt. He’d been getting better about that, too, but his issues with taking blood were particularly touchy for him, he’d found. He hoped that, one day, the other would be able to be candid about it with him. To tell him the why and the how. Until then, though... It was better safe than sorry. “But if you keep it up I’ll start hiding it in your food like a cat who won’t take his pills.”     Kuro snorted, relief making his shoulders sag and stiff posture unwind. If Mahiru was joking, it wasn’t that serious. He hoped. “So? What gives. Talk to me. It’s not like you to just… Suddenly explode like that.”

It was Mahiru’s turn to look guilty, staring at their joined hands and Kuro’s pale, almost translucent skin. There was the faintest scar on the webbing of his thumb, and his nails were getting long again. He’d have to trim them for him soon. The vampire, he’d found, was prone to either chewing them down to the quick or clipping them too short. It was simpler to do it for him, and had become part of the routine of their lives. He didn’t mind it. Enjoyed it, even, if only for the excuse it gave him to hold Kuro’s hand, admire his long, elegant fingers and the difference between them and his own sun kissed ones smattered with freckles.

“Would you believe me if I said I don’t even know where to start?”

A finger at his chin, lifting his gaze back to Kuro’s, red, red eyes focused on him and so, so worried.

Why can’t you worry about yourself like that?  

“Keep it simple, then.”

Having his own life motto parroted back to him, he couldn’t help but crack a smile. Of course. Simple was best. And simply thinking… He just needed to say what he felt.

“Earlier, what you said…" he began, words slowly picking up steam as he found his voice again, found his thoughts again, "About how you don’t really care, because you’re immortal? It kinda... Pissed me off.”

A stunned look, Kuro once again blinking owlishly at him, no doubt thrown for a loop by the rare swear dropping from the Eve's lips. “O… kay? I won’t… Say it anymore?”

Still missing the point, huh?  

How did he ever end up with such a dumbass vampire?

Mahiru extricated his hand, instead cupping Kuro’s face, ensuring that the vampire of Sloth had no choice but to look him in the eye as he spoke. “Just because you’re immortal, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take care of yourself. In fact, when you don’t, it… It hurts! It hurts a lot. Because you’re important to me. Because I care about you. And I hate seeing you suffer.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh." The words were coming faster now, louder, more desperate, as if this were somehow his only chance to get them all out and he couldn't stop himself if he tried. Didn't want to, because holding it in was so much more painful. "And not just that, either! When you say things like you want to kill yourself, or that you want to die, or that it’s fine that you got hurt… I hate those too! I really, really, hate it...”

His voice cracked on the last word, embarrassingly so, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care at all, not when Kuro had a dawning look of realization, not when halting hands were reaching for him as the Servamp’s face twisted with contrite, not when he really, really wanted the hug that was being sort of half offered to him. He stepped forward, let Kuro embrace him, a shuddering breath leaving his lungs and all that awfulness he had been hoarding with it. He really... Wasn't okay at all, was he?

 “It scares me… And I’m sorry I got mad at you-”

 “I’m sorry, too. For not… Noticing that it bothered you so much.”

 “... I mean. I dunno if you’ve noticed, but I’m… Kind of really good at hiding when something is bugging me. To be honest…” He snuggled closer into Kuro’s chest, shut his eyes and breathed deep, that mixture of misty mornings and his body wash because of course Kuro was too lazy to pick out his own, all layered over the subtle metallic tang that seemed to cling to every vampire he met. It was soothing. It felt like home, and safety, the same but different as his uncle. Like everything would be okay, if only he just stayed right where he was. “I don’t think I even realized how badly it bothered me myself until just now…”

Kuro hummed, Mahiru feeling the vibrations under his ear and against his cheek. “That seems to be a running theme with you.”

“Ass.” A light thwack to his shoulder, Kuro releasing a little puff of amusement.

“My bad. Couldn’t resist. We’re both… Pretty similar, huh…?”

“I guess so. Who would have thought?”

A pat or two to his back and Kuro drew away, Mahiru reluctantly letting him go. “I’ll clean up my mess, and, um, once I’m done…” The human blinked, head tilting curiously when Kuro cleared his throat, scratched at his cheek. It could sorely use some color. “Maybe we can figure out an, uh… Feeding schedule? Or something?” He gave a helpless sort of half shrug, quickly dropping it when all he got in return was a blank stare. “Sorry, forget it, dumb idea, just thought it would, like, help or something. I dunno-”

 “No!” Kuro jumped at his shout, his anxious rambling cutting off and replaced instead with anxious finger fidgeting, clenching and unclenching his hands while Mahiru rapidly moved to reassure him. “No, feeding schedule is great! In fact, let me get a marker for the calendar and my phone while you do that.”

It was a small thing. A minor thing. Something that shouldn’t even be a problem to begin with. But it was a step towards getting Kuro to take proper care of himself. To value himself. Even if he was only suggesting it to comfort his Eve…

Mahiru tried and failed to hold down the amused little smile sprouting when he sighted the red at the tips of Kuro’s ears, quickly padding out the living room and leaving Kuro to his task, and the dirty laundry in its basket in the middle of the otherwise clear space.

No matter what the reason, it was a step in the right direction. For the both of them.

[kpoppwriter]

Stay Though

Genre: fluff (Jihoon x idol/producer!reader)

Words: 1k+

Warnings: n/a it’s fluff

a/n: I’ve had this idea in my head for awhile and Jihoon’s been coming for my ass recently so here have this cute little fic

pt. 1 | pt. 2

You stared at the computer screens in front of you, your headphones on. The world around you meant nothing, your focus only on the work in front of you. You tweaked the audio and added another layer of strings to your composition. You were too enthralled with your music to hear the door to your studio open. Your name was called out but you didn’t hear it. A hand came down on your shoulder causing you to jump. You slipped off your headphones and turned around quickly.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Jihoon chuckled 

Jihoon and you had been friends for a while, both working as idols under Pledis. Everyone in the media and in your respective fandoms compared the two of you, as you two were similar. You both produced music for your groups,  had a bit of a shy and “tsundere” demeanor, and overworked yourselves much to the dismay of your groupmates. Obviously, people just had to ship you two, your similarities made you so compatible. And to be honest, you did have a bit of a crush on him. So when your company proposed the idea of the two of you working together on a song, you were ecstatic. 

“No you’re fine,” you smiled shyly, “I totally forgot you were coming. Was working on something.”

“Yeah, I understand that.”

He pulled up a chair beside your desk. He took a notebook out of his bag before placing it beside your desk. You scooched your chair over to give him more room. He opened to a fresh page ready to begin brainstorming.

“How do you want to do this?” he asked awkwardly

“How about we go over the basics first?” you suggested

“Yeah sounds good,” he picked up a pen

The two of you decided on going for a fresh sounding EDM song. Something perfect for the summer. You played around with some melodies and some instruments, not deciding on anything yet. You suggested writing lyrics about a blossoming relationship, like friends to lovers type of blossoming relationship. He liked the sound of that.

The afternoon turned into the evening. The very late evening. You only realized how late it was when you glanced down absentmindedly to the clock on your computer. 

“Oh god, I just saw the time,” you groaned

Jihoon picked up his phone, humming disapprovingly when he saw the time. 

“Not as late as I normally work but it is pretty late,” he sighed

He sat staring at you for a moment before clearing his throat. He awkwardly grabbed his bag, shoving his notebook inside. 

“I can- uh...work on a demo tomorrow and send it to you- if you’re alright with that,” he muttered

“Yeah, yeah that’s cool,” you nodded

You could feel the heat rising on your cheeks. Jihoon was feeling the same thing. Neither of you looked at each other as you said your goodbyes. You waited for the door of your studio to open and close. You exhaled a breath you were holding when you heard the door shut. You groaned and rested your head on the desk. This was going to be a tough project. 

The next day while you were at dance practice, your got an audio clip from Jihoon. When you took a break, you stepped into the hall to listen to it. It was just the instrumental at the moment, lyrics not written yet. You sent your feedback along with some lyrics ideas to him. You went back to practice after you sent your message.

Once you were done with practice, you saw you got another audio clip from Jihoon. You plugged in your headphones as you packed up your stuff in the practice room. You started walking out of the studio when you heard Jihoon singing along to the melody. He used the lyrics you sent him earlier. You could feel a blush coming up your neck, not realizing how him singing your lyrics would make you feel. You felt butterflies in your stomach.

“Hey Y/N!” 

You turned around. Mingyu and Vernon waved at you from down the hall. You stopped and waited for them to catch up.

“Hey guys,” you smiled

“You heading out?” Vernon asked

“Yeah, I just got done with practice,” you hummed 

“How’s the song with Jihoon coming?” Mingyu wiggled his eyebrows

You could feel the blush deepening on your cheeks. You avoided the boys’ gaze.

“It’s going good. He sent me a sample earlier. I’m listening to it now,” you muttered

“That’s good. I’m excited to hear it,” Vernon smiled

“Yeah, me too,” Mingyu giggled

You quickly ended the conversation with them and left the building, heading back to your dorm. Vernon elbowed Mingyu’s side, eliciting a small whine from him. 

“Why’re you teasing them so much?” Vernon asked

“Because their crush is so obvious,” Mingyu teased

“Yeah, I know but like...chill.”

~~~

“I think we’re done.”

You looked up from your lyrics. You stared at Jihoon from inside the recording booth waiting for him to check over your recordings. He nodded after a moment, giving you a thumbs up. You put the headphones down and grabbed your papers. You walked out just as he was replaying some of his recordings. He nodded to himself, choosing the ones he liked the most. 

“You don’t have to stay. I can mix this myself,” he said 

“Oh...okay cool.”

You stood awkwardly for a moment, not knowing if you should actually stay or not. From the way he phrased it, it seemed like he didn’t want you to stick around. You shuffled over to his couch where you placed your stuff down. You shoved your papers in your bag quickly. 

“I...”

You looked towards Jihoon has you heard him start to speak. His fingers stopped gliding over the keyboard. You could see him looking down at his hands. 

“I...would like you to stay..though.”

You felt your heartbeat quicken. His simple words made you feel bashful and shy, which really took you by surprise. His words caught you by surprise. 

You gently placed your bag down on the couch again. You walked over to him at the desk sitting down next to him. The blush on his cheeks was obvious, as was yours. Neither of you looked at each other but you just enjoyed each other’s company in silence. 

[evoxyr]

Hi! sorry if this is a bother but is there a specific tutorial you followed to learn how to create your own meshes? because every single one i found or someone else linked isn't exactly a tutorial for beginners and requires you to basically already know what your doing.

“how did you make your hairs from scratch? did you follow a tutorial? what was your process? I want to try but I don’t know where to start”

hello friends! :) tbh there was no one specific tutorial… honestly, i spent a lot of time frankenmeshing to get familiar with the processes and blender but never actually released much

but unfortunately, i definitely don’t recommend starting to create meshes from scratch as a beginner because i know i tried and it did NOT end well alkfjsdalkf

diving into blender without knowing what you’re doing is VERY frustrating, i know from experience LMAO so i’m listing tutorials/resources under the cut from beginner to from-scratch meshing that i know are helpful, have been helpful to my friends, or that i realized after messing around to learn something would’ve helped me a TON 

there’s some i’m missing i can’t find for the life of me rn so i’ll add to this later on too! also feel free to send me any tutorials you feel helped you :)

items with an *asterisk are ones i’ve personally used or wish i would’ve had when i started

beginner

i’d recommend starting with frankenmeshing clothing first! and then move onto frankenmeshing hair :) so clothes and beginner tutorials will be in this section, and hair tutorials will be in the next!

*blender guru’s blender beginner tutoriali didn’t use this tutorial in particular (thought i would have definitely saved me a lot of time) but blender guru on youtube has really good videos on blender for complete beginners! here is his full playlist of tutorials for 2.7! you probably only need the first one or two just to get your bearings in the program as you won’t really need to use much of materials or lighting for making sims cc

@teanmoon‘s blender cheat sheetpretty self-explanatory!

basic mesh shortening tutoriala good first project to do in blender imo

@deetron-sims‘ frankenmesh tutorialdespite not fully using this, i referred to it a few times when i’d get stuck lolit also contains stuff for normal maps and shadows! i don’t create LODs this way usually, i normally decimate a little bit for each LOD that isn’t LOD 0 (unless LOD 1 looks like trash, in which case i will import my LOD 0 onto there)

*edge split tutorialmarch 18, 2020: here is my version with updated pictures!okay so the pics are broken, but it’s pretty self-explanatory! if you ever get a weird shadow at the ends of your clothing after removing doubles, you need to do this!! i always remove doubles and do this :) i could attempt to redo the tutorial with pictures on tumblr if requested!

*@theslyd‘s multiple mesh tutorial aka making things bgc as wellnot for hair! (cut layers for hairs are for hat compatibility!) but definitely helpful for clothes… had to figure this out for myself so knowing this ahead of time would’ve been really really good

*@deetron-sims‘ specular tutorialthis is a meshing list but i needed to include this because it is a massive pet peeve of mine LMAO i know some people just import blank speculars and specular masks, which works, BUT if the item underneath (ie. tights or if you’re using a shiny mannequin) has any sort of specular or shine at all, then it will show through! you need to create a specular mask based off the alpha of your texture and then import in the blank specular itself if you want no shine to come through! i don’t create my speculars the way this tutorial does, but it works all the same :)

*texture location templatei would definitely recommend getting comfy with uv_0 mapping as a beginner! it just moves around textures really so you wouldn’t mess up morphs/weights :) the template also helps you understand why some cc conflicts with each other! because they’re placed in the same area, the game reads both textures for both items together

intermediate

various hair frankenmesh tutorials@okruee‘s video tutorial@simandy‘s written/picture tutorial (part 1 and part 2)another video tutorial (was told by @inkyblick, “i literally followed that // and i’m a dumbass with blender // but if I could do the thing, so can they”)

*@blogsimplesimmer​’s hat chop tutoriali would recommend using @pralinesims‘ daydreamin hat set to do hat chops! they’re smaller which makes sure most hats fit! typically when i do hat chops, i use about 5-6 hats per chop in blender to make sure everything fits right…

what i usually use…horizontal chops: praline’s low (with extra fluffy hairs, you may have trouble with the low one, which is fine if you must omit because it’s rare you get a cap that low anyway) and regular caps, base game newsboy cap, get to work CapSurgical, discover university grad cap and bike helmet (i make sure the straps at the back of the head don’t clip out of the hair!)slanted chops: praline’s backwards and lifted caps, base game BaseballBackwards, base game CapPuffy, base game KnittedKuffi, ugly seasons CapKnitBrim

making sure that my hairs work with all of those hats, i haven’t run into a problem with any particular hat yet in game!

hair meshing tipswatch @aharris00britney‘s speed meshes! (or anybody else really, sometimes you can pick up some stuff and learn new tricks!)

quick uv_1 tutorialhaven’t used this myself but it looks rly helpful

also *@teanmoon‘s uv_1 and weight guides really help you understand what those things are for!!

advanced

*joint list for sims 4 skeletonsi use this for when i’m weighting my hairs! i don’t weight transfer at all because i can never get weight transfers to work right for me

*@tsminhsims​�� easy weight assignment for hair (1 / 2 / 3)i use this to weight my hairs :) i’ve made adjustments since as now i understand what affects where now but it’s a good starting point!

ALSO! i would recommend doing uv_1s and weights from scratch for practice on ea hairs before going in and doing on a from-scratch mesh so that you can know how to do it (since you could get frustraed by spending all that work on a mesh and not being able to get in game)

*blender tutorial - hair with curvesthis is the technique i use for my hairs, albeit adapted a little for myself after getting the hang of it! also you only really need to watch the first 10 minutes of the video as the rest is about lighting/texturing which we don’t need for sims 4

*@tekri​’s tutorial on meshing from scratch in mayai’ll be honest, i really really tried this… buut i cannot work in maya at all LMAO the blender parts of this could be helpful for you though! there’s vertex painting, weights, uv_1, and hat chops! :)

the reason i suggested getting comfy with uv_0 mapping is because i haven’t exactly used a uv_0 tutorial myself, but rather understood how it worked and just went from there :) it’s kinda tedious but honestly the simplest part of the whole hair making process imo

other tutorial masterlists

@ridgeport’s cc making tutorial list@simlaughlove‘s tutorial page@tekri​’s guide lists4s forum tutorial list

[red-dia]

hi! i've always loved your hnk panel redraws and recently i've been so inspired by them that i've tried my hand at coloring some panels too! if you don't mind me asking, do you have any tips?

oh i certainly do! some of these are a bit generic/art related but they’re definitely useful in this case too. I’m adding a read more because unfortunately it got a bit long but here you go:

1) Get to know your tools!

Since you weren’t very specific, I’ll assume you aren’t too familiar with art softwares (and if you are, you can just skip that part it’s not That deep). I’ll start with the basics; I know this is obvious, but please bear with me, because understanding how your program works WILL make you a lot more efficient.Here are quick descriptions of some features I think are very useful - I use Clip Studio Paint, but I believe most programs have equivalents. If you don’t know them, please experiment with them, they’ll come in handy!

- Locking transparency :

Locking the transparency of a layer means only the parts where something is already drawn can be modified. Basically, you can recolour something that already exists in a rather precise way.

This is very useful for gradients, which I’ll talk about a bit later.

- Clipping layers :

This gives the same result as locking a layer then drawing over it, but the difference is that you use more than 1 layer ; one as the bottom layer, defining the part of the canvas you can draw on, and the others, clipped on top, where you’ll draw. This can be more practical than locking transparency, because if you have a lot of details to add, doing everything on a single layer may make things more difficult.

I use this a lot when I shade, but just like gradients, I’ll bring that up later.

- Layer settings :

These options change the way the colours on a layer blend with the colours below. As an example, addglow is pretty good for colouring very bright light sources or for adding highlights on gems  :

Basically, using those isn’t a necessity, but they’re still pretty useful so I’d recommend experimenting with them whenever you feel like it!

- Magic Wand : 

Not the most complicated to use, but damn it’s really useful. It allows you to make selections based on the colours you’re targeting, so basically, if you need to colour an entire area a certain colour, you can just select it from the original panel, go on the layer where you’re colouring, and colour nothing but the part you selected. That’s about it!

There are lots of others, but these are the main ones you need to know about when you’re getting started. 

2) Colouring stuff

This is where it gets interesting! I guess! I’m not too good at just coming up with these kind of tips, so I’ll illustrate with some colouring, hopefully it’ll help you out?

I usually colour in 5 parts : 1) Preparing the panel(s), 2) Applying flat colours, 3) Adding gradients, 4) Adding shading, 5) Finalising with details.

I always prepare pages in the same way: first, I use the magic wand to select everything i do NOT want to colour ; the frames around the panels, the speech bubbles, the sfx, etc. Once they’re selected, I copy them, and paste them on a new layer. Then, I select the original layer, and turn it transparent so I can colour below while still keeping the lines. To do that, I go in Menu > Edit > Change brightness to opacity (in CSP at least, it depends on your program tho but most of them support this, I think!).

I end up with something like this : 

Two layers, one on the bottom with the semi-transparent page, and another on top, with everything that I don’t plan on touching. On the page on the right, you can get an idea of what it looks like when you add a layer below these 2 and draw on it.

Now that I’m done with the panel, I can start adding some (flat) colours. 

I think it’s a good idea to start with the background, because it’ll help you figure out the feeling you want to give the panel.

The airbrush is a pretty good tool for gradients btw, just make sure you use a brush that is big enough so the transition in colours looks natural.

Next, I add a new layer, and colour the shape of the characters (and here the vessel as well), so it stands out from the background. It’ll make colouring less complicated, since the lines will be clearer.

As you can see, I was kind of confident, so I directly added a gradient. The bottom of the panel is a bit “darker”, because I wanted the main light source to be the reflect on Phos’….. head thing?

Here’s something kind of important about your choice of colours : if you’re colouring an area that is already shaded in the original panel, I would recommend taking a colour that is more saturated than it should, or else the colour may end up looking dull because the original shading will make it darker.

Next, I do more flat colours. Nothing too fancy, and pretty much everything is on different layers. The clothes are left uncoloured because the background colour already fits, so it’s okay honestly

Then, I added some gradients using clip layers :

As a reference, I used some overlay layers for Dia’s hair, and some addglow layers for Phos’ alloy.

I mean it when I say gradients are important! They make your colouring feel more complete even when they’re barely visible. quickly coloured bortz for reference, assuming tumblr won’t compress the colours too much:

the bastard on the left has nothing but flat colours. They’re nice, but when you’ll have shaded everything, chances are it’ll look kind of …. i dunno, like something is missing? So yeah, gradients : good, though i would recommend you keep them in the same tone as the base colour. I’ll talk about this a bit more later if i don’t forget.

Ok! next: 

I felt like golden colours weren’t quite fitting the mood, so i added a layer with blue on top of it to make it colder. It’s at 40% transparency, so you can still see the colours behind well enough. Some parts were slightly erased because i liked the idea of these parts being lighter (you can see it a little bit around phos’ neck, or above dia’s knees : these parts are yellower than the rest of the pic)

I added some shading! Nothing too fancy. also not to sound like some gradient-freak but you can add some of those in shading as well, it’s usually a nice touch.

After than, I added some lightings, which are on a layer clipped on the original manga panel (so basically only the black parts of the original image changed colours, and the colouring work I did on the layers below wasn’t really affected, if that makes sense?)

The red lighting is the obvious one (it’s an airbrush, and i used an eraser to clear the part near Phos’ head so it looks like it’s coming from above/behind them and not from themself). 

There is another lighting at the bottom, which is grey/blueish, to contrast with the warm colours on the top of the pic. it also kind of looks like smoke but yeah

Now the panel is mostly done, and I’m starting the “details” part.

Something I find really bothersome in the manga is the *original* shading : while it’s always really good, colouring under it will leave some grid of pixels on top of your colours, so to counter that i just colour on top of the grid by colour picking and painting on a layer above the manga layer.

It’s a bit tedious but it has a texture that makes it look like a painting. The downside is that the colours can be altered since you’re colourpicking from something with an irregular pattern, but it can end up making your panel look less boring, honestly, it just depends on what you’re aiming for!

I end up with something like that : 

And then it’s just. Whatever man. I added a black border and some highlights, sparkles, etc, it’s the kind of things you do when you’re basically done. 

For the technical aspect, I’m not sure I have a lot more to add. If you want some advices for picking colours, tho…

3) General colour stuff :

These are just recommendations! Licherally these are mental notes i came up with ever since i’ve started colouring, so they’re kind of personal and if you don’t follow them you’ll be fine, i suppose. But so far they’ve been useful to me so consider them whenever you’ll be colouring something:

- Do not use pure white! Unless it’s for something CLEARLY meant to stand out, such as the frame of your pages, a speech bubble, sparkles, or a light source/something very shiny. If you’re just colouring something that is not meant to draw attention, use some other shade of white, but not the  #ffffff one if you see what i mean?

- Same about pure black, to be honest. 

The shades circled in red tend to look “emptier” than the ones circled in green (here the hue of the colour is yellow but it works with most colours). It doesn’t mean you can’t use it, just, use it sparingly or it may make things look dull I think? I would recommend trying a few shades before taking a decision.

- Sometimes adding highlights where the shading starts can make the transition look smoother: 

- Even if a panel is already shaded in the original page, I would recommend shading it again, because the manga shading is a black shading and shading a coloured drawing with black usually doesn’t look that good. (hence why i said something about using saturated colours in shading earlier).

- Even if a panel isn’t shaded in the original page, consider shading it anyways, even if it’s just a very light shading. It’s worth it :o)

I’m running out of things to say oh well

[redrobin-detective]

I’ll be your hero (whether you want me or not)

It’s Izuku’s birthday and goddamn was I mad craving the chance to write more post-TLWA Deku as a licensed quirkless hero so here we go. 

XxX

Izuku charged forward, ducking under the swinging arms coming his way with practiced grace. They attacked him lazily, as if they couldn’t be bothered to give him anymore effort. Normally he’d be willing to stand his ground and engage, bare his teeth and show them how dangerous he could be but he has more important things to worry about now. So he let Kacchan, Uraraka and Todoroki, the more popular quirked heroes take care of the thugs up front while that idiot quirkless kid who actually went through with getting a hero license snuck past. After all, someone had to rescue the hostages.

“Hey what are you doing-” a guard asked but Izuku cut off his stupid question with a uppercut between his ribcage, forcing the air from his lungs. Once he knew the man wouldn’t yell, Izuku grabbed ahold of his shoulders and pulled him down for Izuku to knee him in the face. Hard. He set the criminal down and quietly ziptied him before moving on. Using tricks drilled into relentlessly from Aizawa-sensei during high school, Izuku slunk through the halls, clinging to the shadows and getting the drop on any other criminals he came across. Most were taken down before they even knew they were under attack. He couldn’t help the slightest smirk that crossed his face as took down three more, not too bad for the quirkless Deku who’d never amount to anything. If only his four year old self could see him now.

As soon as he stepped into the next corridor, he smoothed out his predatory stance and smiled at the hostages hovering in the corner. It wasn’t the wide, beaming smiled Yagi-san used to single-handedly beat back the dark. It small, gentle, slightly crooked and full of confidence and humility. “You’re alright now, I’m here to help,” he said, making eye contact with everyone in the room. “I’m going to get you out of here. Is this all of you? Are any of you hurt?”

A few of the adults looked over his shoulder a little anxiously, as if waiting for some stronger hero to bring up the rear and help them. It wasn’t unusual and it happened so often that Izuku barely even felt the twinges of annoyance and inadequacy anymore. Nine total, five adults and four children the youngest being about seven years of age. Not the best group to get out of a sticky situation but he’d beaten worse odds. 

“Iida,” He said into his comm, “I have eyes on the hostages, there’s nine of them, a mix of adults and kids. Tell Shou and Kacchan to really light the place up, we’re going to need plenty of cover.” He looked back at people gathered around him. They were scared, not just of the circumstances but of him, worried that he wouldn’t be enough to get them out. To be honest, Izuku had the same fears, had them every time he left his house in uniform. But he’d promised Yagi-san that he would continue on his legacy, One For All or not. Considering he was only 20 years old and ranked #76 on the Hero charts without a quirk or major backing sponsor, he thought he was doing pretty damn good. 

“Understood, we await your signal,” Iida said with a clipped voice with the sound of explosions going off in the background before signing off.

“Alright, we’re going to get out of here and we’re going to do it together. I’m sure you all know I don’t have a quirk but I want to know yours, tell me your names and quirks and I promise I will everything possible to get you all out safely.” Introductions given, Izuku directed them outside the shelter of their room, retracing the steps he used to get in. They passed some of the guards who Izuku had dispatched earlier but not all of them.

“Toko-chan, can you see anyone coming?” Izuku asked quietly. The girl, about 13 with no eyes on her face placed her hands on the wall and listened.

“Uh I hear some commotion a bit behind us, they’ve found out we’ve escaped. No alarms yet b-but people are coming this way,” she whimpered out drawing her hands back away from the wall. Her mother pulled her into her arms and the rest began to fearfully murmur to each other.

“Hey,” Izuku said authoritatively but with a soft voice. “We knew we wouldn’t get out without them knowing. This is what we talked about, nothing has changed but I’m going to need you to keep your courage up a little while longer.” There’s a creak and Izuku grabbed a few of his throwing knives. “Hasagawa-san, barrier!”

His knife slipped through just before the gym teacher’s barrier went up. The thugs spikes bounced harmlessly off the mental shield just as he was pinned to the wall by his clothing. A nod of his head and the barrier dropped, Izuku slammed his fist into the man’s face. He went limp and Izuku let him slip to the floor. A woman appeared from around the corner, slamming her hands down on the ground causing layers of stone to appear blocking off their exit.

“No way out now hero, hero,” the villain said with a sarcastic drawl. Izuku hunched his shoulders faking left but darting to the right, snapping out his staff to swipe at the woman’s feet before slamming her face first into the ground. He stood up, staring at the obstacle in front of them and quickly reformatting his plan.

“Deku to Uravity, I’m going to need you to meet us near the entrance I went through, we’ll need your support to get out,” he said into the comm before turning back to the group. “Come on, you’re doing great. This is just a little setback, we’re almost there,” he encouraged, shooting the others a smile. He was pleased to see a few smile back. “Uravity, are you in position?”

“Does Tokoyami wear a black cape?” Ochako teased in-between breathy pants. “Do you even need me or do you just think I need the ego boost?”

“I’ll always need you, gravity girl ” he couldn’t help but grin, the light flirting coming naturally despite the fact that they stopped dating before they even graduated. But some habits died hard but not friendships thankfully, those were a lot sturdier than awkward teen romances. “Nakano-san, I’m going to need your skills. I’ll take care of Mako-kun,” he said reaching out and gently taking the youngest boy’s hand leaving both his father’s hands free. 

“My sonic waves aren’t really controllable, once I start I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop,” the man said nervously. 

“I know,” Izuku said gently even as he was aware of the yelling approaching them. “That’s why Uravity is close by to catch any debris that falls. Entropy and Explosion are outside causing enough chaos that no one is going to be looking at us.” Another smile, “we can do this.”

The man nodded and the closed his eyes as the stone walls he leaned on trembled furiously. Izuku steadied himself on the adjacent wall before launching himself at a particularly vulnerable crack in the wall, giving them an opening. He began scooping the younger kids through the opening as the roof began to loose integrity.

“Ocha-”

“Got it!” he heard his best friend shout as she bounded around, slamming her hands on parts of the building before they could fall on any of the civilians. “Always got to make a big scene don’t cha?”

“I’ve got to make up for my lack of quirk somehow,” he quipped back, handing Mako-kun back to his father. “Todoroki, Kacchan, make sure a path is cleared on the eastern side we’re moving civilians. Iida I’ll need you to escort them out, ‘Chako and I have company.” He stood in front of the hostages, activating the portable shield on his left arm as fire was thrown their way, “Now Iida!” 

“Come now, I will lead you to safety,” Iida said appearing out of nowhere.

“But what about Deku-san,” Izuku heard Ishii-san say.

“Midoriya taught me a long time ago that there are very few things he can’t accomplish when he’s got that look in his eyes.”

“This is just my normal face, Iida,” Izuku countered, going after a few thugs Ochako had floated and slamming them down to the ground with his bo.

“Exactly,” Izuku could hear the smile in his friend’s voice as he began to shepard the civilians away. “I leave the rest to you two.”

“Oh we won’t be long,” Ochako grinned, rolling her shoulders and felt a rush of affection go through him. He had the best friends and the best life in the entire world. 

XxX

“Explosion!” one reporter shouted to them as they wrapped up, “what’s your opinion on the decriminalization of quirk use in self-defense?”

“It’s about damn time now shut up and let us do our damn job,” Kacchan snapped, keeping his back to the reporters as he ensured all the villains and civilians were accounted for. 

“Ingenium! how did you get the hostages out with all the fighting going on?” Another asked from the crowd. 

“As I said earlier,” Iida said tersely, “Deku was the one who found and safely retrieved the hostages. I only got them out of the line of fire while he and Uravity fended off the other criminals.”

“Deku, do you feel your career has suffered since you left the Two Heroes agency run by #1 hero Explosion and opened your own smaller agency?” Another asked and by the way Kacchan’s shoulder’s twitched with agitation, he’d better answer first.

“Red Riot is doing an amazing job taking over my role as partner and I’m proud of the work my friends and colleagues are doing at the agency I helped build,” he politely reminded. “I decided to focus on a different aspect of heroics and I’m happy with what I’m doing at One For All Heroics along with my continued quirk advocacy work.” The questions went back to the other, bigger heroes, asking about their love lives or alliances leaving him mostly alone despite all the company. But he didn’t mind, not really, not anymore. 

Because he really was living his best life. He was saving people like he always wanted, he had the best friends in the world who saw his value and gave him the respect he’d earned over the years. Deku might not be a household name like All Might, might not have an impossible quirk passed down the generations but he did believe in the peace started by another quirkless man. He was Midoriya Izuku, he was hero Deku and he was here to help whether or not the world was ready for him. 

[strangelyokay]

A How To on Acrylic Nails

Beauty tends to change just about every month and depending on the location it can be entirely different than what it is at a different place in the world. Sure, people like to advocate for the natural beauty for the simple and just be yourself platforms but sometimes what we add to our appearances define our moods and confidence. Accessories are part of our self-expression and I like to believe it adds extra personality to someone's individual style. Now am I a certified person to be talking about the beauty trends of the world?  Simply put no. I am not a fashion student or guru for that matter, but I do have interest. Specifically, in one beauty trend that seems to change and grow each year. Nails!!!

Well acrylic nails to be more specific. They have always interested me, sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a bad way. See, as a kid I didn't understand them. I remember seeing girls around school with perfectly French tip nails. And as a young naive kid, I used to believe that those were their original nails. I always thought, “Wow their nails are so pretty, why are my……” Yes, I used to think my nails were less than desirable but hey can you blame me? No one told me the secret. My mom didn't understand the concept of spending money on unnecessary things. And to be honest I thought the same into one day I walked to my very first nail salon. I felt powerful, beautiful, different. When I got my very first set of acrylic nails something clicked. Sure, there were downfalls like not being able to open jars, sodas, and sometimes doors, but the perks were so good. I felt like an inner diva rose and said,” You look good.”

Now this blog isn't just me going on and on about how I love Acrylic Nails or how they are a good accessory or even about how they fit in in the new beauty era. Nope, I was interested in how to affordably get my nails done. I figured YouTube is popular with “how to” videos so I figured it was time for me to get a new hobby. I know very little on how to create beautiful nails, but I can give you the information that I have learned from my new hobby, first with what you will need and second the steps to create.

What equipment/products are needed to achieve beauty long acrylic nails?

●       Acrylic Nail tips- These are used as a template for nail shapes/lengths and it makes the nail stronger. Also, if you are like me and nervously chew your nails, these help a lot.

●       Nail Glue- Self-explanatory but this is needed for the fake nail to stay on your real nail.

●       Acrylic Nail Clipper/Nail File- Used to cut and shape the nail. I don't recommend using scissors, because they wouldn't be able to clip the nail even, and it would look bad.

●       Electric Nail Drill- Use to file, buff and shape the nail so that it doesn't look like a hot mess. You don't have to have a drill, you can always use a simple file, but it will take longer, like a lot longer.

●       Acrylic Monomer/ Acrylic Powders- When combined they make the substance use to create acrylic nails. They smell bad.

●       Acrylic Dish- To hold Monomer and the brush

●       Acrylic Nail brush- It's a must to have a good quality nail brush, because if not it wouldn't last long and it can even make your application impossible to make.

●       Nail Polish Remover- It helps to clean off the brush and fix small mistakes, plus it removes you know, nail polish.

●       Nail Primer- Use to make nails last longer, I personally don't use this because I am still learning how to create good nails and they are easier to take off without the primer, but if you really want to use it go ahead.

●       Nail Dust Remover/ Mask- Trust me, there will be a lot of nail dust everywhere.

Acrylic Nails Application steps.

Clean your nails- Your body naturally creates oil. Remove all nail polish and overall make them look neat.

File- File your natural nail so that it's in manageable length and then file the top of the nails so that it leaves a little rough surface. This is to help the fake nails stay longer but be careful and don't over file them.

Cuticles- Now you can put cuticle remover and push your cuticles back, but I like removing them with the drill. If you don't know what cuticles are, they are that thin layer of extra looking skin on the edges of your nails. If you don't remove them. It looks like your nails have grown out and they will make your nails look, well messy.

Fake Nail tips- Make sure to take your time getting the right sizes for each finger. If they are too big, it will cover the skin and your nails will hurt, especially if forcefully removed (I used to laugh at any girl who cried for a broken nail until it happened to me, it hurts really bad).

Nail primer- After your nails are in place put a small layer of nail primer. I usually skip this step and I recommend it, if you are new to the nail game like me.

Acrylic monomer/ powder- Acrylic dish and Nail brush will be needed. Put the brush inside the dish with the monomer. Gentle rub the brush against the glass side to remove excess liquid. Gently place on powder and create a bead and then place on the back end of the nail. Repeat the steps but this time apply the bead on the middle of the nail and then on the tip of the nail. Each time you do this remember to swipe the brush so that I combine gradually and nicely with the fake nail. This takes practice and I mean a lot of practices. You will mess up but don't get discouraged and try again and remember you can always use the electric drill to fix your obvious mistakes. Make sure to apply the mixture fast because it will dry out.

Electric Drill- With the drill you will trim the bumps and undesirable mistakes, then file and buff.    

Overall

It's fun to create the nails I want but it does take practice, and patience. I sometimes take a day to finish a set of nails. I manage to do one hand and I get too tired to do the other one. After they are created the fun part is decorating them. I personally like gel nails because they last longer than regular nail polish. To decorate with gel polish, you will need a UV Nail Light because gel polish only dries under it. I am serious, you can wait 20 years and gel polish will not dry on its own. Now after all these steps you are probably thinking,” I prefer paying for acrylic nails” or “this is too much work.” But let me tell you, you will save money and it's actually very rewarding when you create them on your own. Sure, nails aren't for everyone and with the way beauty trends change there's a good chance acrylic nails will be a thing of the pass. But I still recommend learning to create them. It's a form of art, which helps reduce stress, you save money in the long run (well if you get your nails done regularly), and it's a form of expression. It added a spice of, THIS IS ME, vibes and you get to create something from nothing. Plus, you can also show off your new skill to your friends. If you do decide to learn this skill remember to keep practicing, it's okay to take your time and don't give up. I advocate for this trend because it gives me confidence that I can do anything. I like to express my mood through the colors that I chose and give my personality a voice with the designs I chose. I also ran out of things to do in my time off and when thinking about what to do in my isolated boredom I came to the realization that doing acrylic nails could be fun. I did think of the more common hobbies to pick up like exercising , painting, even writing, but I wanted to challenge myself in a way that those other hobbies couldn't ( I hate running, I paint like a three year old and writing acquired extra focus/ thinking). Creating nails challenge me on a creative artistic level. It also gives me motivation to succeed because doing all that effort for them to come out ugly was not an option. I recommend looking at a lot of videos and overall staying positive. Yes, they will come out looking a bit funky at first and your fingers might feel like they are going to fall off but it's really fun to try. Whether it's this beauty trend or a different one just remember don't let others stop you from expressing your individuality.

Here are a couple of links to some helpful videos:

Acrylic Nails At Home: Step by Step How-To Tutorial

💅🏼Acrylic Nail Tutorial - How To Apply Acrylic For Beginners 🎉📚

DIY Nail Workshop - Acrylic Application

[artificialqueens]

Free Falling, Chapter 9: Come to your Senses (Branjie) - writworm42

A/N: Last chapter, Brooke and Vanessa go on their first date. Vanessa thinks a fundraiser might save the unit, but it blows up in her face when she tells everyone but Brooke about her plan. This chapter, thanks to some good old fashion hijinks, Brooke and Vanessa finally make up.

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to holtzmanns, who always pushes me to be a better writer with her honest feedback and direction. Y'all would’ve had a significantly shorter, far less emotional, and frankly not nearly as good chapter without her telling me where to add things and helping me figure out how to express all of the feelings I was struggling to bring out.

For those of y'all who aren’t familiar with it, Snoezelen is a kind of sensory therapy meant to provide calming, gentle sensory stimulation. Many hospitals, especially if they’re pediatric, have Snoezelen rooms, which are filled with gentle lighting, projected images of things like stars, things to touch and lie on/in/under, and gentle sounds. It’s kind of the absolute best thing ever invented. Also, Cavi wipes are hospital-grade sanitizing wipes.

In the days that followed their fight, it was as if the unit had fallen to pieces around Brooke. She knew it was partially her fault - she’d stopped checking how things were going, instead taking to seething in her office - but if anyone thought that she was going to try to smooth things over, she was wrong. She hadn’t gotten this far in her career by apologizing for things she still wasn’t convinced she had done wrong. Sure, she could try and be the bigger person and continue on with business as usual - but then Vanessa would walk by her office, and a flash of anger would suddenly slash at her chest as the memories of their fight came flooding back.

Vanessa, for her part, was in no better condition, according to Nina. Not that Brooke cared. Let the bitch suffer; she was at fault, after all.

Except that Brooke couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt whenever Vanessa walked by and slid her eyes down. She couldn’t help but notice how her heart sank when Vanessa’s voice fell flat at rounds, her updates far too clipped and short compared to her usual enthusiastic and detailed briefs to ignore.

She couldn’t help but feel that even though she was too proud to apologize, that it was all that she wanted to do.

There were parts of her that wondered if Vanessa felt the same way. Did Vanessa cringe inwardly whenever she saw Brooke walking down the hallway? Did she feel the same tug of regret every time they had to talk and couldn’t make eye contact? Was she as distracted as Brooke was during the day, unable to focus on her sessions because her mind was filled with replays of their fight, searching for moments that she could blame on Brooke to pretend like she’d done nothing wrong herself?

Was she still mad?

Brooke tried to swallow the twinge of panic that rose up in her chest every time that she thought about how Vanessa must feel about her now.

It was better not to think about it, anyway.

Meanwhile, the unit as a whole had begun to suffer, choking under the weight of the feud that was brewing around it. When people weren’t trying to avoid bringing up Vanessa around Brooke, lest she get cranky, they were pretending to listen to Vanessa rant, trading silent help me glances as they humoured their coworker with half-hearted agreements.

The biggest effect, though, was on the kids.

“Miss Brooke, why are you and Miss Vanjie fighting?” Kameron asked her on the way to her office.

“Grown-up stuff, Kam.” Brooke smiled back weakly as she ducked through the door and almost slammed it behind her.

At least in there, she was safe from having to see how she was letting everyone down.

No. She wasn’t. Vanessa was. By not apologizing or realizing how pigheaded she was, Vanessa was the one that was drawing this all out. If anyone was to blame, it was her. Not Brooke. Never Brooke.

She wasn’t convinced of the arguments that she was running through her mind, not entirely, but it didn’t matter. As long as she was in her office, no one would be around to see the way that her shoulders slumped and how her throat seemed to squeeze shut.

Meanwhile, the day of the quarter snuck closer and closer, Brooke’s awareness of the day became more and more acute as she considered her options. The truth was, aside from feeding Gary and the entire board to sharks, Brooke didn’t see that many left in front of her any more.

They were doing well. Really well, financially.

But the hospital didn’t want really well . The hospital wanted national news headline, rename-the-hospital well . The kind of well that a bunch of families with standard insurance and no groundbreaking research projects just couldn’t bring to the hospital.

Brooke had been around long enough to know that even the units that were doing the best otherwise were still on the chopping block, when they were up against donor-bribery giants like high intensity outpatient rehab that had patients with endless insurance funds and borderline celebrity status.

Unless there was a miracle in the wings that was waiting to happen, it was looking more and more as if the best hope for the unit was that the service delivery would only change to a moderately drastic degree.

Of course, there was one option Brooke hadn’t tried yet (she couldn’t). One that was sappy, appealing, and crazy enough that it just might work (she wouldn’t ).

God, she really needed to clear her head.

“Why don’t you go to the snoezelen room for a bit?” Nina suggested when Brooke wound up in her office a moment later, the blonde’s gaze pointed up at the flecks on the ceiling tiles as she spun around lazily in Soju’s empty office chair.

“Seriously, Brooke. No one’s using it right now, it’s a great place to relax, calm down, maybe nap a little…”

Brooke closed her eyes against the spinning, blurry images around her when she finally brought Soju’s chair to an abrupt halt.

She probably could use an hour or two buried at the bottom of a ball-pit.

“Okay.”

She walked to the snoezelen room with Nina in silence, Nina buzzing with the energy that Brooke was already starting to let go of. Maybe if Brooke had been in a better headspace, she would have realized that something was up.

Unfortunately, by the time she noticed what was wrong, it was too late. The door swung shut, and the only other person in the room turned around at the slam.

Vanessa, illuminated in soft purple and blue glows, projected images of stars and seas written across her skin.

“What are you-”

“I was supposed to-”

“ Nina.” They both whispered bitterly in unison.

The next few seconds all compressed into one. Vanessa dashed for the door, jiggling its handle desperately and muttering come on, work, Bertha under her breath. The handle didn’t budge; they both had already known it wouldn’t.

“You don’t have a key?” Brooke bit out, her voice layered with a sharp frustration. Vanessa shot her a dirty look.

“Yvie said she needed it for an agitated client who wouldn’t do his physio in a normal setting. She called me here to meet them cause he was supposed to see me after.”

Brooke snorted. “And you fell for that?”

“Oh, I know you did not just - Look, we in private now, and you best be lieve I got some words for you, you stuck-up bi-”

“Is that really what you think of me?” Brooke didn’t mean for her voice to come out as quietly as it did, to be coated with sadness instead of rage, but the tone made Vanessa’s own anger dry up instantly.

“Brooke-”

“This isn’t the first time you’ve said that to me, Ness. Does that mean it’s true?”

Vanessa sighed and shook her head. “No, baby, it’s not. I’m just….I was just mad, I guess.”

“Yeah.” Brooke was mad too, really mad. So why did she only feel relief at Vanessa’s words?

“Look, d’you mind if I sit?” Vanessa gestured over to a heavy, amorphous beanbag chair that slumped by Brooke’s feet.

“Go ahead.” Brooke nodded. Truth be told, she kind of felt like sitting down herself - but before she could scan for the nearest comfortable surface, there was a huge WHUMPF! followed by a view of Vanessa becoming so engulfed by the beanbag chair that she was practically folded over into it.

“Don’t you dare.” Vanessa warned, but she was already laughing, that barking, loud laugh that was completely unignorable and absolutely contagious.

Their laughter mixed together for a moment before they remembered where they were, and suddenly it was quiet again, the hum of the water-lights and gentle chirping of birds on a tape in the background filling in the space where words should have gone. Where they neededto go.

“I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me.” Brooke slid onto the floor next to Vanessa, who suddenly seemed to sit even lower as her eyes glided away from Brooke’s own.

“I just… I wanted to surprise you, is all.” Vanessa chewed her lip, still refusing to look at Brooke. It was a gesture that annoyed Brooke, for some reason, and lit a sudden fire in her chest that she didn’t care to snuff out.

“Surprise me by telling everyone something I told you not to?” She arched an eyebrow, unable to stop the harsh edge her words took on and instantly regretting it.

“Shit,” she softened her tone a little, laying a light hand on Vanessa’s wrist to get her attention, “Vanessa, I-”

“It was fucked up of me.” Vanessa cut her off with a shake of her head. “I just…I got so excited, Brooke. All I could think about was how it was gonna help you, and I didn’t want to add more work for you, ‘cause I see how hard you work already.”

“I’m not the only one who works hard.” Brooke blushed at the sudden praise, her heart unexpectedly warming a little when Vanessa rolled her eyes in response.

“Bitch, you always over here thinkin’ you gotta save the world by yourself, you really think I was gonna add onto your plate?” Vanessa’s voice was incredulous, almost like a mother exasperated at the mess her toddler had created. Brooke supposed the comparison was appropriate - she really had made a bit of a mess, hadn’t she?

“I’m sorry I overstepped an’ broke your trust.” Vanessa reached over and brushed the back of Brooke’s palm with her own, and it was with a jolt that Brooke realized she was still holding onto Vanessa’s wrist.

It just felt right, somehow.

“I’m sorry I was such a pighead about the whole thing,” she admitted, shifting her hand up to grab onto Vanessa’s and giving it a reassuring squeeze as she continued, “I should’ve listened to your side of the story.”

Vanessa hummed in agreement, and they laughed again, the air in the room relaxing and warming as the tension melted away.

“It really is a great idea, honestly. I’d love to move forward with it.” Brooke shifted again, this time moving close enough to lean her head on Vanessa’s still-trapped shoulder.

“I’m glad.”

Then, before Brooke could say anything in response, could even think of what she could say if she did want to speak, Vanessa’s hand was on her chin, and her face was coming close, and her lips were coming just a little apart, oh God, she was getting so close-

When their lips finally met, Brooke let herself fall, her thoughts dissipating as she became lost in the feeling of Vanessa’s mouth on hers and the sharp, sticky scent of hand sanitizer on Vanessa’s hands. The sound of her breath getting quicker and heavier as the kiss deepened, neither woman willing to be the first to let go.

It’s funny - Brooke used to spend what was probably far too much time dreaming of this moment. She’d obsess over every detail of how Vanessa’s eyes would flutter closed, how she might taste like the strawberry Ensure that Brooke would pretend she didn’t notice the staff stealing from A’Keria’s office on particularly long days. How her heart would quiet, and everything would suddenly make sense.

In reality, Brooke didn’t get to see Vanessa’s eyes shut, because her own eyelids had already become too heavy to keep open. Vanessa didn’t taste like strawberry Ensure - she tasted like chapstick and excitement and just a little like hand sanitizer, the ever-present chaser of every hospital employee’s lunch if they were rash enough to eat with their hands (and Vanessa was always rash enough to eat with her hands). And Brooke didn’t feel her heart calm, and nothing felt like it suddenly made sense.

No - it felt much, much better than that.

When they finally parted, there was a beat, an almost painful moment where they couldn’t look at each other, couldn’t say anything - they could only giggle, as they tried to piece together what had just happened.

And then they did it again, this time even slower, even deeper, even more excited. Vanessa seemed to take on a sudden sense of bravado, her hands creeping up Brooke’s front over to her collar, closing around the fabric of her shirt and pulling her closer. Brooke let her, her heart pounding as she wrapped her arms around Vanessa’s waist, their bodies pressed up against each other so tightly that Brooke had half a mind to think that if they kept the act up, they might actually fuse together.

Not that Vanessa seemed to mind. This time, when they separated, Vanessa was breathless, her smile wide and cheeks visibly flushed even under the room’s dim, cool lighting.

“Wow,” was all Vanessa could say.

“Wow.” Brooke agreed with a laugh. They stayed there for a few moments more, occasionally smiling, sometimes giggling, before Brooke shifted again, this time resting her head in Vanessa’s lap and letting the younger woman run her fingers through her hair.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” Brooke noted quietly, closing her eyes and relaxing under Vanessa’s touch.

“I know,” Vanessa’s touch became a little heavier, yet somehow even gentler, her voice soft as she added, “I did, too.”

There wasn’t much else to say, and so they fell silent and watched the spin of the stars and seas over their heads, the giddy adrenaline of their kiss finally fading into a comfortable, cozy calm.

“Brooke.” Vanessa finally tapped Brooke on the shoulder, untangling her fingers from her hair, “Brooke. I gotta go, I got appointments to get to.”

“Oh, shit.” Brooke bolted up, the reality of where they were and what they had to do for the rest of the day crashing in and squeezing all sentimentality out of the space.

“Okay, we’ve made up, you guys can let us out now!” she called out to the other side of the door, rolling her eyes as her request was met with nothing but a chorus of excited giggles.

“Mm, you sure you don’t want to take advantage of the mood lighting?” Shuga’s drawl finally came from outside, “We can move your appointments, Vanjie, we don’t mind helpin’ you two catch up. And Cavi gets rid of all kinds of stains, girl!”

Brooke considered it for a moment, considered what would happen if they did choose to stay hidden away together. But before she could entertain the thought of staying shut in with Vanessa even a second longer, the smaller woman beat her to the punch.

“HOE, I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU DON’T LET US OUT—“

[sassycassie-s-writing]

Cold and Captured

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): Avatar: The Last Airbender/Zuko

Rating: PG/K+

Original Idea: I dunno. Nothing in particular.

Notes: Not entirely sure what this is, to be honest... @welovegroot

^^^^^

“Prince Zuko! The men just fished an unconscious Fire Nation girl out of the water,” Uncle Iroh said.

Zuko turned around sharply, confused. “What?!” he demanded.

“They saw what looked like a dead animal in the water. As we got closer they realized it was a person. She’s Fire Nation. She had this on her armband.” Iroh held out a small red Fire Nation insignia made of metal, designed to clip onto an armband. “She’s in the infirmary. Hypothermia. The medic is attempting to warm her up. No frostbite but she’s freezing.”

“What’s a Fire Nation girl doing this far out to sea?”

“You can ask her when she wakes up,” Iroh said. “For now, she’s still unconscious.”

“I want to see her,” Zuko said, something unreadable on his face.

“I'm not sure the medic will let you—”

“Too bad. He has to. This is my ship.”

Iroh sighed. “Perhaps if I ask…” he muttered before leaving his nephew’s chambers. Zuko stalked out after him.

^^^^^

“She won’t wake, sire,” the medic said with a shake of his head. “We’ve tried. She’s too cold. Once the hypothermia goes away, she should regain consciousness.”

“I don’t care about talking to her!” Zuko snapped. “I want to see her face!”

“Prince Zuko, what are you thinking?” Iroh asked.

“There’s only one reason I can think of that a Fire Nation girl would be this far out to sea,” Zuko said as the medic hastily opened the door to the infirmary to let the prince in. Iroh followed after, curious, as Zuko approached the mattress the girl was lying on. Her bare shoulders, with thin black straps over them, were poking out from under the blanket and something metallic glittered around her neck.

“Where are her clothes?” Iroh asked the medic.

“They were filthy. They’re being washed to prevent the spread of diseases. And removing her clothes allows her body heat to help get rid of the hypothermia,” the medic answered.

Zuko pinched the girl’s chin and pulled her head to face him, brushing the messy, thick hair out of the way impatiently.

He gasped and released his grip on her, frantically pushing the blankets down to reveal the gold necklace sitting on her chest. A clear, red-orange gemstone, faceted to perfection, shimmered in the torchlight in its setting.

“She’s one of the Avatar’s agents,” he said.

“I think you mean ‘friends’,” Iroh said.

Zuko growled in frustration, but didn’t say anything to his uncle, much to everyone’s mild surprise. “Inform me immediately when she wakes up. I think I need to have a chat with her,” he said to the medic before storming out. Iroh followed him with a sigh. He gave the medic an apologetic glance.

“Prince Zuko,” Iroh began. “She’s not going to tell you anything about the Avatar that you don’t already know. She’s going to be stubborn.”

“She’s a Fire Nation traitor!” Zuko snapped.

“Not sure that’s the right word.”

“I'm going to make her tell me.”

Iroh didn’t look convinced, but Zuko didn’t notice.

^^^^^

I shivered, becoming rather acutely aware of the fact that I wasn’t wearing my clothes. I was under heavy blankets but felt rather cold.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled a Firebending trick that warmed me up, and then sighed.

“Glad to see you’re awake,” said a voice. “I was beginning to worry you’d never wake up.”

The man was obviously some sort of Fire Nation military medic. I could tell by the uniform and the small bag of medical equipment he was rooting through. I gasped and pulled the blankets up over my chest to make sure I was fully covered.

He looked up at me. “I'm supposed to inform Prince Zuko that you’re awake,” he said. “But I’d like to give you a quick exam first to make sure you’re healthy enough for the conversation he wants to have with you.”

Shoot. Zuko. I was on Zuko’s ship.

“How did I get here?” I demanded. The last thing I remembered was lying down in Appa’s saddle to snooze for a little bit.

Had I fallen out of the saddle? Had Appa been attacked? Were the others okay? Had they fallen too? Were they here? Oh gosh. If they were here—that meant we were on our way back to the Fire Nation. That couldn’t be good.

The medic hummed in thought as he began examining me, ignoring the fact that I was obviously uncomfortable without my clothes, in just my underwear. “The crew fished you out of the sea. They thought you were a dead animal. When they brought you on deck, you were unconscious with hypothermia. And obviously Fire Nation with those eyes. They brought you immediately to me. I started your recovery. Prince Zuko seemed surprised to recognize you. He wants to talk to you.”

“Uh-huh. Talk,” I muttered sarcastically.

“Miss, the prince’s heart is in the right place. He has a temper and many internal struggles, but his heart is good.”

Somehow, after running from him for months while he tried to kill or capture Aang and us, I found that hard to believe.

“I won’t let him injure you. You’re still in recovery.”

That wasn’t reassuring. I grunted and squirmed as he probed at my heart with a long metal contraption that had a little disk on the end that he put on my chest, a horn on the other side that he listened to. He moved to my back.

“Deep breaths,” he said.

I breathed. The candles in the cabin flared and quieted as I did so.

The medic noticed. “Ah. So you’re a Bender,” he said.

“In theory,” I replied, taking another deep breath as he told me to. “Not so much in practice. No formal training of any kind.” I shrugged. “I can make candles flare and warm myself up when it’s cold out, but that’s about it. Sometimes I can create a little flame in my hand to light a campfire or see in the dark.”

He kept examining me, puttering under his breath. Finally he let me lie down again and tucked me back under the blankets. The air below decks was cold and it wasn’t helping my recovery from hypothermia.

“I'm sorry, miss, but now I must go get the prince.”

Wasn’t like I had a choice. “Hrn,” I grunted, burrowing deeper under several layers of blankets as though that would protect me from Zuko and his explosive temper.

The medic slid out of the cabin.

I rolled onto my side so my back was to the door. I didn’t want to deal with Zuko. If his crew had fished me out of the water with no mention or visual clue of anyone else, then I was the only one of Aang’s friends captured by Zuko.

Great. He was going to interrogate me for information on Aang. Information I didn’t have. I had no idea where we’d been heading. Mostly because Aang didn’t really know where he was going.

After a few moments, the door swung open and banged against the wall. I flinched.

“You’re going to tell me where the Avatar is,” Zuko said.

“Probably in the sky,” I replied flatly. “That’s where he spends a majority of his time.”

Zuko grabbed my shoulder and pulled, forcing me to lie on my back to face him. “You’re a traitor to the Fire Nation! So unless you start talking, I'm going to send you back to my father in an ash tray!”

I sat up, keeping the blankets pulled up over my chest with one hand, and levelled my gaze at him. “That’s a nice sentiment,” I said. “And it’d probably be true if I’d ever set foot on Fire Nation soil. But I haven’t.”

Zuko looked confused. “You’ve never been to the Fire Nation?”

“No.”

“But you’re a Firebender!”

The medic must have told him that. I was pretty sure he’d never seen me Firebend during all the times he’d chased us all over the world. He knew I looked Fire Nation, but I wasn’t sure whether or not he’d known about my Bending.

“Look, my parents probably came from the Fire Nation, but I never knew them. I grew up in the Earth Kingdom!” I threw one hand up in exasperation. I was grateful for the subject change because it meant he wasn’t asking about Aang, but I was getting tired of him and his constantly raging temper. “I'm not a traitor to anyone.” And I'm certainly not going to betray Aang, I added silently.

Zuko clenched his jaw and his fists. I must have been irritating him.

Wonderful.

He got really close to my face. Had I been wearing my clothes, he probably would have grabbed the collar of my shirt to pull me closer. But I was just in a chest wrap and underwear. “You’re going to tell me where the Avatar is!” he repeated.

“How old are you?” I asked.

“Sixteen!”

“Same. Makes you a little less intimidating.”

A blade of fire extended behind his hand. I tried really hard not to look scared.

“Listen, Your Highness,” I snapped. “I don’t know where he’s going. He doesn’t know where he’s going. He was looking for… some place to… I don’t know. Ride a rooster-pig? I can’t remember what he said. He was talking too fast.”

Zuko didn’t look convinced. He reached out and grabbed my necklace. “Maybe this will change your mind.”

I grabbed his wrist and started to heat it up. “Don’t. You. Dare. Don’t you dare play games with me. You’re not capable of that.” His skin started glowing in my grip. He let go with a hiss of pain and an angry wrench. I released him with a glare. He glared right back at me.

“Perhaps give her some more time to recover, Prince Zuko,” an older man who’d come into the infirmary with the prince advised.

“No. She’s going to tell me where the Avatar’s going.”

I rolled my eyes. “Or what? You’ll cremate me alive? You’ll throw me overboard? Great. Either option is preferable to this.”

Zuko growled in frustration.

“How about I just escort myself up to the top deck, hmm?” I threw the blankets off and got to my feet, finally losing my discomfort with being only in my underwear. Suddenly the Fire Nation prince seemed a little flummoxed, looking away from me.

I blinked. Maybe I’d underestimated his character and honor as a person.

Was he being a gentleman, or was he just uncomfortable that his prisoner was mostly naked?

He and I were about the same age. I wondered for a moment if he’d never seen a girl in just her underwear before.

Zuko, still refusing to look at me, glowered at the ceiling. “I’ll be back. When you’ve put some clothing on.” With that, he stormed out of the infirmary. The older man followed after him. I got back under the blankets. My little stunt had let the cool air freeze me out. Goosebumps sprouted on my arms and legs. When I got back under the blankets, I shivered.

The medic tutted under his breath as he bustled around the infirmary and gave me another exam. I rolled my eyes.

“What’s going to happen to me now?” I asked.

A long silence followed the question. He was probably trying to figure out how to answer that.

Finally he sighed. “I don’t know. If you don’t answer his questions… I don’t know what more I can do for you,” he said.

“Oh so you’re on my side?” I asked sarcastically.

“You are my patient. I am on the side of the patient, no matter who they may be.”

“Comforting.”

“Get some rest. Your clothes were being washed. They should be finished by now. I’ll retrieve them and you may put them on when you’ve woken up again. Try and stay warm.” He stepped over to a fireplace and built up a stack of firewood. But didn’t light it. He glanced at me and then left.

I pulled one hand out from under the blankets, looked at my palm for a moment, and then hurled a fireball at the wood. It caught almost immediately and burned merrily.

“Better get used to being Zuko’s prisoner,” I muttered.

[sidespromptblog]

Sacrifice

“Why am I even here?” Deceit grumbled to himself, swatting a mosquito that happened to land on the back of his neck. The grumpy frown that had already been on his face, was deepening the longer that he stayed here. It didn’t help that he was trudging around in what was basically the equivalent of a bathrobe, along with the hood that covered his head. He was sweating in places that he didn’t even know that he could sweat. “None of you even like me, so explain to me why I’m involved in this little quest?” He asked, watching as Roman just continued to trudge forward, as if he didn’t hear a single word from him.

Virgil, however, snorted, “You’re telling me? I have no idea why you of all people were invited.” The anxious side muttered, and that was pretty much the only thing that Virgil had said to him throughout this entire trip. So Deceit’s attention shifted over to Logan, the one side who had mostly been impartial throughout the entire process of Roman dragging him out of his snake cave, and into this fantasy world that he had conjured.

Even Logan looked different now, although it wasn’t saying much given that it still stuck with his style of neatness. Despite the fact that they were trudging through a swamp that smelled like someone’s armpit. Just to find the ‘missing king’ as Roman had called it.

Deceit had lost count of how many times his cloak had snagged on a loose thorn branch or had gotten stuck in the mud.

“Roman wished to have a villain for his little make-believe game, the most obvious solution was you.” Logan bluntly put it, and Deceit tried to not take that to heart, although it was pretty damn hard not to. As he glanced to the side, tugging his hood down he blinked back the stinging sensation in his eyes. “Although, you are not the only one who finds this cumbersome. I could be doing so many other things.” Logan muttered, and despite himself, Deceit cracked a smile, out of all of them it seemed, Logan was the best one that he could understand.

“Logan hurry up! Don’t hang back with the snake, we need you up here!” Roman jovially barked back at the logical side, just to receive an eye roll in return as Deceit’s head dropped a little. The proof of his shame or rather embarrassment was flushed across his face, causing him to tug down his hood a little more.

Although at that moment, that proved to be the worst thing that he could have done, as his cape snagged on yet another bramble. Leaving him to tumble forward, slamming into Logan’s back, who in turn fell into Virgil. It was like a complete domino effect, ending with the anxious side falling into the mud completely ruining the cool rogue look that he was going for.

“What was that for!” Virgil snarled back at them, his eyes not so subtly glaring back at Deceit, instead of Logan who had actually been the one to send him falling forward. “Watch where you’re going!” He snapped, as soon as Logan placed a hand on Virgil’s shoulder, somewhat silently asking him to not make such a big deal about it so that they could move on. Shaking his hands free of the mood, Virgil sent a small splatter back Deceit’s way.

He bit his tongue in retaliation, he wouldn’t stoop to Virgil’s level just because they were all hot, sweaty, and practically covered in bug bites. They were all tired, so he didn’t say a word as the anxious side spun back around marching through the mud in order to make it back to Roman’s side. Logan lingered by Deceit, before offering the other a hand.

“Your cloak is too long, would you like me to carry it for you?” He offered, and honestly, just that one sentence was like a saving grace, for the entire trip he had been stumbling and falling over the thing. Although no one had really noticed because of the face that Deceit had been lagging behind, but Logan had, and Logan wanted to help him.

Wordlessly he bobbed his head in a nod, unclasping the damned thing before handing it over to Logan. The logical side neatly folded the offending item of clothing, his eyes lingering under the neat button up shirt had a little flare at the ends of the sleeves, and the boots that went up to Deceit’s knees. Plenty good for traveling through mud, and for the lying side’s legs if Logan was being entirely honest with himself.

“Halt!” Roman’s voice snapped him out of his observations faster than anything ever had before, the princely side had raised his hand as he stopped at the stone pillar at the very edge of the mud-covered bog. “It is a riddle we must solve!” Roman excitedly said, practically bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.”

Venturing closer, both Deceit, and Logan peered over the other’s shoulder, reading the words that had painstakingly been carved into stone.

“What is the price?

for hope, I'll pray,

for luck, I'll pay,

for life, I'll weigh,

for love, I'll lay,

But will it suffice?”

Deceit’s eyes narrowed as he tilted his head to the side in a rather confused manner, he wasn’t like the others. Riddles and things like this weren’t something that he did on a regular basis, and just from one glance, he could also see that Logan himself was stumped.

“Well, what is it?” Virgil asked Roman, the anxious side crossing his arms before his hand moved to swat away another fly.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know the answer to the riddle of the place you injured yourself?! Roman!” Throwing his hands up in the air Virgil rolled his eyes before resting his hand on his face, his shoulders slumping as he shook his head. “You made this place, surely any answer will do right?” It was marching forward to the stone pillar to further look at the words that they all felt it.

Rumbling, the ground was shaking.

Just like that, the ground started to split open, and deadly sharpened talons grasped the edge of the crater, clawing carving its way up out of the deep hull of the earth. What came out must have been something from Roman’s nightmares, as the scaled body of the beast, it’s eight legs, it's fifteen individually moving red and gold eyes, beaklike face, and scorpion tail were all things that Deceit couldn’t even imagine having existed ever before.

Just by looking at it he felt too faint to move, as he stood there just looking up at it.

“Don’t just stand there, move!” Deceit felt a warm hand grasp his wrist, before he was hastily tugged out of the way of one of the oncoming eight appendages. Logan dragged him out of the way, shoving him behind one of the trees that they both took cover behind. The beast screamed, it sounded like a concoction of nails on a chalkboard and the sounds of a screaming banshee.

It’s eyes all swiveled around, looking for its targets that seemed to keep evading it, another scream filled the air as it opened its wide jaws to an impossible angle, revealing its snake-like tongue in the process.

Roman’s gonna have a lot of explaining to do once he’s done here! Deceit thought, trying to think of anything but the absolute terror that was gripping his soul right about now. His fingers clung to Logan’s shirt as he felt Logan’s hand firmly resting on his back keeping him out of sight from the creature, they were both breathing hard. He felt his every limb shuddering, as the ground rumbled with each movement. This thing was absolutely massive!

“When I tell you to run..you run. Got it?” Logan harshly whispered to Deceit, his fingers digging into the fabric of Deceit’s shirt, Logan himself was shaking, but even so, he attempted to put on a brave face for Deceit. Something that the latter could see right through, although he did appreciate the effort. “Run!” Logan barked out, giving him a shove in order to get him going, the logical side followed right after him.

It was the cape though, it was that damned cape that ruined it all.

All of the eyes of that creature spun around in its head, locking onto the flowing black fabric that was outlined with a yellow color, almost as if it absolutely had to look at it. There was a moment of silence, and then another scream filled the air as it came charging.

Giving Deceit one last shove over the tree line, Logan felt one of the talons of the beast clip his side, sending him flying into one of the trees. A loud crack rang through his ears and his entire body as he made contact.

“Logan!” He wasn’t even sure who screamed his name, it was like he was hearing it all through a thick layer of cotton, his glasses had flown off of his face leaving him to view the creature in a cloud of haze before he squeezed his eyes shut. Damn Roman, of course, he was going to die to one of his creations. Damn him.

Fear wasn’t something that Deceit routinely dabbled in, but feeling Logan’s hands on his back and landing with a solid thump at the base of one of the trees. He watched in sheer horror as the logical side was practically ripped away, thrown across the clearing as if he was nothing more than a pebble.

“Logan!”  He hadn’t been able to help himself, the scream of the other’s name had been ripped right out of his throat. He was going to die here, logic..no Logan was going to die here, and what for? For some stupid make-believe? Because of some dumb cloak? No.

Fear was something he had never dabbled in, and courage even less so.

Yet there he was, booking it forward as he slid under the creature’s long spindly legs. A stomach clenching terror raced through his veins, as his heart pounded so loudly in his chest he heard it with every footstep he made. “Hey!” He shouted, moving in front of the fallen logical side, spreading his arms out wide as the creature thundered closer, it raised it’s claws up. Ready to strike down on him, and to end him just as it would have ended Logan. Nevertheless, it was a sacrifice he was willing to make.“Leave him alone!”

The claws swiped downward, and Deceit braced himself for the absolute worst.

But nothing ever came.

For a good long couple of second he felt too scared to even think of opening his eyes, but upon doing so he felt his knees go weak with relief. As the monster still stood there, yes. But it was completely frozen, in case or in this case turned to stone. It’s talons just a foot away from hitting him.  

“Deceit! Deceit! That was amazing!” Roman crowed proudly, limping over with the aid of Virgil from where the creature’s tail had swatted him into a thick bushel of brambles and thorns.

But he could have cared less about that, as he turned on his heels kneeling next to Logan, his hands hovered anxiously over the logical side’s body. “Are you alright? Is anything broken?” Deceit worriedly spouted out, just to be stunned into immediate silence as Logan’s downright exhausted smile that lit up his face. He was being smiled at, genuinely, by Logan of all people.

“Who cares?” Logan croaked out, grasping at his ribs as he attempted to sit up, grimacing sharply as he did. He sent Virgil a thankful look as soon as his glasses were returned to him, “You saved me, that’s all that matters. You...saved me.” A raspy chuckle bubbled out of Logan’s lips, before the logical side seemed to sway dizzily. His eyes struggling to stay open, before his body lurched forward. Deceit catching him instinctively before his face could even hit the ground again.

He had him, he had saved Logan once. So he could do it again if need be.

Tagged: 

@thedreamer240

@unikornavenger

@cats-vetal-miking-vomit

@neko-ereri

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam season 3, episode 5 (2/2)

This reaction covers the Pause, Pride, and Bros clips, which are the emotional equivalent of that time Homer Simpson skateboarded over a gorge.

SEASON 3, EPISODE 5

Clip 4 - Locker room turning point

This scene really is the catalyst for much of what happens in the second half of the season. It’s fantastically acted and superbly written. Julie commented on the script that it was one of the hardest scenes of S3 and I believe it, it’s so complex and runs through so many emotions in just a few minutes. And it’s so fraught. One of Skam’s greatest attributes is the ability to portray vulnerability and this scene is full of it. Everything is so delicate, so much remains unspoken.

Been thinking about how we don’t get these wide establishing shots of a lot of locales, like the gym here, for instance. Like a lot of directors would have more of an establishing shot of the gym, they’d show students running and working out, a teacher calling out instructions, etc. before we cut to Isak. Julie doesn’t always do those. I can think of a number of times she does, showing students hanging around and goofing off outside the school, for example, but a lot of times she just cuts straight to the POV character. Maybe just for practical reasons, but it also makes her storytelling feel very very intimate and character-focused with all these tight closeups.

I wonder if Isak is much into sports - like actually playing them, not sticking to FIFA. We don’t see him doing much of them and whenever he’s at some physical activity, he’s on the sidelines (at the skate park or watching basketball or w/e at the start of episode 3). We see him working out in the birthday video so I guess he started exercising regularly. Gotta keep in shape for his man.

Nice double take when you realize Edward Cullen has been watching you, Isak.

No, but imagine Even just watching Isak mess around in gym class for a bit before Isak notices, maybe psyching himself up to talk to him and tell him the important news. Because this season is so confined to Isak’s POV, on first viewing we see so much of Even’s confident, charming side; it’s only after we know the whole story that we realize how he must have been dealing with his own insecurities.

On that note, let’s talk about what’s going on with Even off screen between the cuddle scene and this locker room scene. He took some days off from school - honestly, I feel like he had a depressive crash. At some point he broke up with Sonja. He didn’t talk to Isak much outside of elusive texts. Can you imagine what he was going through? But no matter how hard it was, he made a decision that Isak was worth everything, worth breaking up this safety net of a relationship with Sonja, worth taking a chance on a new person, worth all the risks, because Isak made him that happy.

In the original script, Even grabbed Isak and kissed him when he entered the locker room. Apparently this was changed due to the setup of the locker room, but Julie made the right call in adapting the scene so that Even didn’t start with a kiss. I think that might have been too self-assured of him, though they could have played it as desperation as well. But this scene works fantastically when we see Even is vulnerable, too, that it’s not just Isak who’s been questioning and wondering while Even leaves him hanging. It’s easy (for me at least) to forgive Even for his strange hot and cold behavior when Even is clearly going through something difficult, even if I didn’t know what that is yet.

It also works better with the careful distance between them at the start of the clip. I don’t think either of them know what’s going to happen. From Isak’s POV, is Even going to call it all off, tell him he’s back with Sonja? Give him more vague answers? From Even’s POV, how pissed is Isak? Is Isak going to want to be all in, now that he’s had a few Evenless days to think about everything?

The sound editing in this scene works wonders. I love that we can hear all the gym sounds (people talking, bouncing balls) from outside, but they’re muffled - like they’re in a semi-public, semi-private space. Technically someone can walk in at any time, but it’s also a locker room, not accessible to everyone. It feels fitting that they’re in this kind of in-between place.

Additionally, you can hear every breath and step and nervous swallow from them here. Skam often uses music so perfectly to enhance its characters’ emotions, but there’s also such a thing as using music too much, as a lazy tactic to make the audience emotional without working for it in the acting, writing, or directing. So here’s a scene with no music. Just sounds from the two characters. No additions. And this is what you get, a scene of raw tenderness.

Soooo much subtext in this scene, so much of Isak and Even not asking everything they want or saying everything they mean. Even when the dialogue seems forthright, there’s another layer behind it. 

My opinion of Even jumped up a lot when he says he’s talked to Sonja and they’re on a break. He should have done that at the beginning, ideally, but the fact that he did make the move to break up with her counts for something. When I saw this I was so damn relieved that it wasn’t going to be a typical case of “dude with a girlfriend has secret male side piece, strings along girlfriend while keeping boyfriend a secret” which is pretty common in LGBT media, especially coming out stories. I respected that Even was honest with Sonja, even if it was late, and it spoke a lot to Even’s sincerity about Isak.

FUCK, I loooove this moment, where everything hangs between them as Even asks Isak what he thinks about him breaking up with Sonja. Not assuming that Isak will be happy about it, not assuming Isak is going to act any specific way, really. Even is really fucking vulnerable when he asks this! Great acting from Henrik. The fact that Even isn’t sure about Isak’s reaction, that you can tell he’s still nervous about what Isak will think and that maybe he’s jumped the gun or expected more than Isak wants, means so much. Even broke up with Sonja even though he wasn’t 100% sure about Isak wanting to be with him. Because Isak was worth it.

And of course, Sonja has a say in this too, she might not want to be with someone who’s cheated on her. But judging from what we do know about her (and you know, kissing Even two days after this) I think she’d be willing to forgive Even and not break up with him over the Isak incident. She might talk herself into thinking it was just a result of Even’s bipolar disorder. So while I’m sure they hashed stuff out between them, I do think it was Even who wanted the break.

I don’t know Norwegian so I wonder if “we have decided to take a break” has the same connotations in English. Because if Even said, “Sonja and I broke up” it sounds like a permanent thing, they are done. “We have decided to take a break” is less permanent thing that leaves wiggle room for getting back together, or at least is putting off the absolute end of the relationship. In that case, I feel like maybe Sonja does think this is a manic thing and is letting Even go off to do his own thing, expecting that he’ll come back to her. EDIT: @skamenglishsubsclarified: Yes, in the original he uses the word "pause", as in "we've decided to take a pause". I'm not sure if it's good English to use "pause" about a relationship, which is why I used "decided to take a break". Either way, yes, it's absolutely not final, they haven't really broken up. Presumably Sonja views this a some sort of manic fling, and Even isn't quite ready to cast off the safety net that Sonja provides.

Man, I really do wish we could somehow get Even’s POV of that conversation with Sonja, though. I would love to hear what they talked about, in detail, what the atmosphere was like - tearful or resigned or angry or all three. When he told her about Isak, what exactly did he say? “I have told Sonja about you” - I don’t know why that gets to me the way it does since it’s fairly straightforward, but I guess I read it as Even not just telling Sonja the bare facts of what’s going on with Isak (we kissed) but elaborating on his feelings for him.

Also, look at Isak’s stunned reaction to what Even is saying! I don’t think he expected it! Maybe he didn’t think Even was about to dump him in the locker room, but was he expecting Even to open with “I told my girlfriend about you and we broke up”? Like … Even chose Isak over Sonja? His girlfriend of four years? Literally the best thing he could have heard. (Flashbacks to Noora and Eskild’s talk in episode 4 - if he loves you, he’ll choose you.) And ohhhh my god, their reactions when Isak seems satisfied that Even and Sonja broke up. The slow, dawning happiness that Isak is trying to keep under wraps and Even can’t control.

Lol, Isak saying that he hopes it’s not his fault if Even is sad is him trying to fish for how Even feels (as indicated in the script by Julie) but it could also be him downplaying the cartwheels his heart is doing now that Even and Sonja broke up. Or it’s also sincere! I think it’s at least partly sincere. He doesn’t want to make Even sad. Isak messes up but he’s a decent kid at heart, he feels guilt over causing hurt to people.

What a beautiful turnaround from Even from being this fragile-seeming kid in a million protective layers to being utterly joyous when Isak seems pleased about the breakup, like Henrik flipped that switch. And what a beautiful understated way to write it, just “I’m not sad!” Not going too far, like “It’s you I want to be with!” Just making it clear that Even has no regrets about the breakup. That he did it because he wants to be with Isak.

That hesitant “Nei?” from Isak is just. Good work, Tarjei.

The kiss feels much better here than it would have at the start of the scene, after we’ve worked through the hesitation to the happiness. The opening uncertainty is so emotionally rich that a kiss at the beginning would soften it.

If you ever want to demonstrate why Tarjei and Henrik have some first-class chemistry, show them this scene. What’s great about their chemistry is that’s it not just good acting at each other, it’s acting with each other. After Even kisses Isak, listen to Isak’s breathing. Watch Even pull off a little nose rub (their thing now) and how Isak responds to it. Their eye contact follows each other. We get the infamous out-of-frame hand-holding and they look down together. Look at their eyes staying on each other, shooting down to each other’s lips. This is just excellent natural chemistry. It sounds incredibly obvious but on-screen chemistry should be about the actors reacting and Tarjei and Henrik are effortless at playing off each other.

Give Tarjei an award for this look he gives Even after the hand-holding. That is an utterly smitten look right there.

And I think Isak gives Even a little nuzzle/nose rub/forehead touch although it’s hard to tell exactly what because we’re focused on Even. Isak feeling braver and being able to initiate kisses or touches with Even is such a lovely thing to witness over the course of the season.

Damn, Even gathers all his courage to ask Isak the next question. What do you think your parents would say if you started dating me? It’s so loaded. First, he’s asking Isak to date him. Not be his side piece or his dirty little secret or his casual hook-up. He wants Isak to be his boyfriend, he wants to make this thing official. He’s all in. But second, it’s also his way of asking Isak important questions about himself. Is Isak out? Is Isak going to be safe if they start to date? Will he be accepted by his family? See, Even knows a little about Isak’s family situation - just a little. He knows that things were rough at home and Isak’s dad left his mom. So he needs to parse out exactly how bad this’ll be for Isak, and whether any of that rough home life had to do with Isak’s sexuality. Knowing what we do about Even in S4, I think it’s really important that he checks in with Isak about this. He’s careful. He’s considerate. He knows that not all parents are going to be OK with it. When Isak says his dad would probably be fine with it, Even isn’t content with just that; he wants to know about his mom, the one pointedly not mentioned.

Isak is so overwhelmed by both of those implications, too, Even wanting to be his boyfriend and having to deal with potentially coming out to his parents.

And here’s where it all goes downhill, not that Isak knows it’s going downhill.

“My mom is insane.” Isaaaaaak. 

That is some damn fine reacting from Henrik, because Even is hyper-attuned to that mention of “insane” and you can feel the mood change immediately, but not so obviously that all the viewers would figure out Even’s deal. Or that Isak would pick up on it.

This scene aired just days before the 2016 US presidential elections, when popular opinion was that HRC had it in the bag, and I remember watching this scene in real time and being like “lol, Trump joke” because fuck that guy, and like a naive asshole I had hope for the future. And then not even a week later the election happened and ohhhhh boy is this part kinda bittersweet now. Emphasis on bitter. But within the context of the scene, it’s a little levity over a very serious topic, with Isak feeling the need to reassure Even that he is not, in fact, related to Donald Trump and Even playing along and laughing before his face kinda falls as they get back to Isak’s mom.

I feel so so so so bad for Even in this scene. He just put everything out on the line for Isak, he was so damn happy just a minute or two ago, things were going to happen between them! And then it comes crashing down in the most painful way possible. And he wants to know, and is trying to get the details about Isak’s mom out of him in a subtle-ish way, that doesn’t let on how fast Even’s heart must be beating and how sick his stomach must feel. The fact that Isak doesn’t talk to his mom is a bad sign. It’s not that they just have a rocky relationship, it’s that they have no relationship.

What gets me about this part is that Isak thinks he is reassuring Even. He is telling Even that his mom won’t get in the way of their relationship. Whatever, she’s crazy and Isak is better off without her. There’s nothing to worry about with her, Even. And instead he’s ripping out Even’s heart.

Also, Isak is trying to reassure himself, that he doesn’t care what his mom thinks. Totally doesn’t care. Nope. It doesn’t hurt that she might not accept him. Not at all. 

“I’ve decided my life is better without mentally ill people around me.” Isak, buddy, you’re going to regret that. 

A lot of viewers picked up that this line was probably the reason Even broke up with Isak a day after making it clear he wanted to be with him. At the time it certainly seemed like a likely possibility. I’ve watched reaction videos to Skam on YouTube and many of them don’t pick up on this line except in retrospect; Julie bundles the turning point with a relevant discussion, openly addressing Isak’s mother’s mental health which has been an underlying source of anxiety throughout the season. It’s not like Isak randomly started making jokes about mentally ill people or anything that felt shoehorned. The digression feels natural, so I think it doesn’t stand out as much as the reason Even mysteriously calls it off until repeat viewings. 

Something to keep in mind that I don’t see people talk about as much is that this scene is coming after the cuddle scene, after Isak told Even about his family problems. In that scene Even listened to Isak talk about how he didn’t want to go home after his dad left his mom (for a then-unexplained reason). Isak didn’t want to go home so much that he went out and got trashed at a bar and got found by someone else (why didn’t he want to go home?). Isak doesn’t want to be at home so much that he moved out (what about his mom?). Even got to witness how much Isak was affected by this incident, got to see Isak open up and be vulnerable about it but try to play it off. And now Even can put the pieces that were missing together. Isak’s dad probably left his mom in part due to her mental illness, Isak probably doesn’t want to go home because of his mom’s mental illness. Because of how this information was doled out to him, Even has been able to witness the toll that mental illness in a loved one has taken on Isak.

And I think that’s part of the reason why Even chooses to cut things off with Isak. It’s both for Even himself and for Isak that he does this. For Even, he realizes that it’s better to cut his losses before things get really serious. Things won’t work out if Isak doesn’t want to be around people like him. It will hurt less now than later. But it’s also for Isak’s sake, because Even doesn’t want to hurt Isak. I mean, Isak is the one who’s (inadvertently) hurt Even here, but Even also sees his bipolar disorder as something that will hurt others, as we know from the minutt for minutt scene. When he sees that mental illness has already caused a lot of hurt for Isak, he doesn’t want to add to that pain. So Even likely would have called off their relationship regardless, but having this extra information probably added to his decision.

And Isak has no idea what he’s just done. He comes across as quite young and innocent asking what Even’s parents would think of him. Like there’s a bit of wanting that approval there, not just because it’s his boyfriend’s parents and clearly he’d rather they like him and not be homophobic assholes, but he’s lacking some parental approval of his own right now, it’s not a stretch to think that maybe he wants the good opinion of some older authority figures.

I really wonder how, if Isak had not run his mouth, their relationship would have progressed. I don’t think you can say it would have definitely worked or not worked out because there are a host of factors to consider, but it’s interesting to think what would have happened if Even hadn’t called it off the next day. How would Isak have come out to his friends in that case? How would Isak have dealt with being outed if he were with Even when it happened? How would Isak have learned about Even having bipolar disorder? For AU purposes, kind of interesting.

This final touch and kiss from Even takes on such a different context when you realize that Even thought this was the last time he would kiss Isak. You can see him memorizing Isak’s face and putting everything into that kiss.

“I think they would have loved you.” Certainly ominous with that past tense, Even. Lmao, I remember watching in real time and being like, “Uhhh, are his parents dead, or is he about to break up with Isak?” But Isak is just too blissed out to think much about the implications. EDIT: @skamenglishsubs had some things to add: “I think they would have loved you" was a very tricky piece of dialogue to translate. Actually, they used the past tense hypothetical throughout the scene. Even asks "What do you think your parents would have said if we got together", and Isak answers "My dad probably wouldn't have had an issue.” And then the whole scene plays out, and Isak asks "What about your parents, what do you think they would have said if we got together?" And Even answers "I think they would have loved you.” The thing is, in English, the past tense hypothetical is pretty definite, it indicates something that hasn't happened or *will not happen*. But this isn't the case in Norwegian, it's more ambiguous, it could mean a regular hypothetical, something that could actually happen. But the original Norwegian script picked that past tense for a reason, and knowing what we know, I think it wanted to plant that little seed of uncertainty there, hinting that Isak and Even actually won't get together. So in the translation, I decided to flip only the last sentence to the past tense hypothetical. It makes it stand out a lot more since there's no subtlety about it in English, so you're almost guaranteed to get a reaction, but I think that's the right choice. It wouldn't be wrong to translate Even's answer as "I think they would love you", but you completely lose the emotional punch of it, and hidden meaning.

But it’s just so sad, because Even’s already made the decision right there, and he knows they would’ve been amazing together. You know he’s probably blaming himself and his mental illness more than being upset with Isak, who I obviously love but is the one in the wrong with his ableist comments. I really, really want to know how Even dealt with everything in the time between leaving the locker room and sending Isak the breakup text. How long his composure lasted after he walked out. How he thought about how he’d call things off, how maybe he waited and put it off because he didn’t really want to end things, he just knew he should.

Isak’s face at the end = awwwwwww. He’s so happy! He has no idea what’s coming.

Clip 5 - Pride

This is one of Skam’s finest moments, IMO, when the show’s educational public service aspirations are in top form. It’s a dramatic moment that works well for Isak’s character development as well as teaching the audience. It could have been overly preachy since Eskild basically delivers a lecture, but it’s so well-written and acted that it works.

But first, let’s talk about the opening of Isak lying on his bed, thinking about Even.

This little moment is one of the sweetest things on the show. Isak - who has presented a typical teenage boy front for a large part of the season, and has kept his sensitive side largely confined to his bedroom - thoroughly indulges in some sappy dreaming about Even. Like, forget him watching the Mikael video and smiling to himself, or watching Romeo + Juliet and shedding a single tear. This is straight-up mush. He fucking clutches his phone to his chest! His phone that is his gateway to Even, you know he’s thinking about calling or texting because, holy shit, Even is his boyfriend now. The slight smile on Isak’s face because he is just that over the moon. Even chose him! Even wants to be with him! Isak can be happy! And Isak has to know that his life is going to change, he’s going to have to do something about the tension with the boy squad, he probably can’t avoid Emma forever, who knows what his parents will think about him dating a boy - holy shit Isak will have to come out of the closet - but for this moment, that’s all somewhere in the future. Right now, he’s just going to be happy. Isak has a boyfriend. (And not just any boyfriend, but the man of his dreams.)

The sly sideways glance that Isak gives his pillow is the funniest shit ever. He’s alone in his bedroom, like, kid, you can huff your Even-scented pillow as much as you want. But it’s like he’s communicating with the damn thing. Hey, pillow. You and me. Cuddle time. Let’s do this.

I hope everyone has read the famous pillow meta. The thing about this scene is that Isak canonically has emotions about the pillow Even used, which makes me think it’s plausible that Julie really did put that much thought into Isak’s pillows.

For real, I gently mock Isak here but my heart melts at this part. It’s just so genuine! There’s no facade with Isak, he’s just letting his guard down, thinking of Even and the time they spent lying together on this bed. If you think back to Isak changing his answers on the gay test to get “less gay” results, or even just look at that female swimsuit model poster above his head, you know Isak sometimes keeps up a lie even in private. Here he’s being honest with himself and sentimental. You know he wishes Even were there right now, which is of course why he writes a text message asking Even to hang out.

Also, a little thing, but Isak seems fairly confident about that text, he doesn’t overthink what he’s writing like he did in the opening ep4 clip (with Noora talking and Isak rewriting his text) which to me is more confirmation of how good a mood Isak is in, and how he thinks this thing with Even is in a solid place.

Eskild’s intro in this scene, popping in the doorway with that mischievous expression, always makes me laugh.

Have I talked about Eskild much? Because I fucking love Eskild. Like, adore him. He makes a lot of sense to me in that his flaws and his virtues come from the same place, which is a strong way to write a character. I think some writers value the importance of giving their characters both positive and negative traits, but don’t realize that they’re often two sides of the same coin rather than completely separate attributes. With Eskild, he can be overly meddlesome, occasionally insensitive in what he says, lack boundaries or personal space, but that comes from the same place as his kindness, sympathy, and helpfulness - he’s highly extroverted and invested in people and wants to take care of them. A lot.

Also, what a fantastic relationship is Isak and Eskild’s, a combination of big bro/little bro and of course guru/apprentice. We so often get the “gay friend who has no life other than to give advice to the straight protagonist” and this is like that trope redone in a more meaningful way (plus, we have the flipped version of that trope in S3 with Jonas and the boy squad being the straight friends who give advice to their gay friend). But it is really great that Isak has this type of relationship with another gay man - one that’s completely platonic but also with so much caring behind it, and with a gay guy who’s very different from him in a lot of ways but is a positive force in his life. And opinions may vary on how well this part is handled, but I also think it’s great that Eskild’s clearly got a sex life and hooks up with dudes on Grindr and this isn’t shown as shameful or judged negatively, other than the occasional “ugh Eskild keep it down, the walls in this apartment are thin.” I mean Isak and Even are this lovey-dovey monogamous couple and that’s wonderful, but it’s also OK to have casual sex! I have some bones to pick with Eskild’s depiction in S4 but in S3, he’s fantastic.

Eskild goes about broaching the subject of Even in a pretty clever, almost parental way by giving Isak a gift and using that as an opening to mention that Even guy Isak had over. Maybe not that subtle but it certainly did get Isak to open up. It’s so thoughtful that Eskild doesn’t specifically push Isak to talk about Even and like, ask him if they’re dating or hooking up, anything like that. He’s clearly prompting him and letting him know that Isak can talk about it if he wants, but giving Isak control over how much he wants to divulge (if anything). He’s even getting up to leave just as Isak decides that yes, he will go ahead and tell Eskild, so it’s not like Eskild was going to sit there and grill Isak until he confessed. Eskild can go OTT nosy for laughs sometimes (”there are shoes in the hallway, Isak, is Even in your bedroom????”) but he knows when to give space. Carl Martin plays this part really well because you can see the question mark at the end of the suggestion about “that Even guy.”

Tarjei does a nice job too, you can see his good mood and how he’s reacting happily to Eskild gently ribbing him about his bedroom odor instead of giving more of Isak’s bratty side, and how when Eskild mentions Even he dims a little. Because oh yeah. This is how it’s going to be. He’ll have to tell people about him and Even eventually. But he must realize that Eskild is probably the best person he knows to come out to, because Eskild is not going to judge him for this. Eskild is gay, like Isak, even if Isak doesn’t want to use that word yet. Eskild is a good trial run for everybody else - good practice for just saying the words. And Eskild is clearly making some sort of offering here and letting him know, without saying it, that Isak is free to talk to him about Even.

Eskild is smiling when Isak tells him about Even, and you know it’s not in a smug “yessss, I knew it!” sort of way. It’s pride that Isak has finally confided in him and is gradually creeping out of his closet and having boys over. He handles this part perfectly. He’s not pressuring Isak to give him all the details, he’s not asking how Isak defines his sexuality or anything. It makes you wonder whether Eskild had an Eskild of his own when he came out, and how much of his treatment of Isak is inspired by how people reacted, for better or worse. What he wished they’d said and done, what he wished they hadn’t.

I think what installs some insecurity in Isak here - or I guess what makes that existing insecurity rise out of Isak and makes him say some unfortunate things - is both that disclosing his thing with Even is a big step that’s scary in itself, but also that Eskild obviously knew what was going on with Isak. He knew something was up with Isak and Even, he set up this moment with the room freshener to bring up the topic. He’s known since he found Isak drunk at a gay bar. And honestly, I think that makes Isak a little defensive, because shit, people knew. I mean, it’s Eskild, another gay man, but someone can tell he likes boys even without Isak telling them, and that probably makes Isak panic a bit. He struggles with the generalizations and the ideas of what it means to be gay. He takes a gay test and he makes a point of calling out a guy who seems “too gay” and I think a lot of it is fear that he will be perceptibly gay to outsiders. Watch how Isak dims a little and gets more serious after he tells Eskild. You’re not surprised? he asks. He’s not totally OK that Eskild is not surprised. He denies that he knew he was at a gay bar. He’s a little rattled by Eskild not feigning surprise and more or less admitting he’s known since he met Isak.

The thing is, Eskild doesn’t assume Isak is gay based on his taste in pop culture or his mannerisms or his grooming habits or anything like was suggested in the gay test - he’s thinking it based on, you know, finding Isak in a gay bar and Isak having a strange boy stay overnight. It’s all based on actions, not inherent qualities. But I don’t think Isak is considering that, really - he’s still deep in internalized homophobia and how people will view him as a person if they know he’s gay.

On that note, let’s talk about how Isak approaches his coming out. Throughout the season, Isak frames his coming out in terms of what (or who) he does rather than who he is. Actions, not inherent characteristics. He's hooking up with Even. He likes someone and it’s not a girl. He has a boyfriend. Never “I’m gay.” We don’t see that until S4. And it makes sense because it’s likely easier for Isak to approach this by not defining himself as a person, but describing his actions, which will perhaps create less judgment. I mean, there’s a difference between saying “I’m a bad person” and “I did a bad thing,” for another example. He doesn’t want that label of gay because he has a specific idea of what gay means and he doesn’t want it to apply to him. He’s not ready for it.

Again, Eskild is really great when Isak says hooking up with Even doesn’t mean he’s gay. He doesn’t argue or laugh at him or be like pfffft, you’re definitely gay, baby Jesus. He’s just happy for Isak, which is why it stings when Isak decides to run his mouth by saying he’s not gay-gay “like you.” Ouch. Isak, for fuck’s sake. Why did you have to go and make it personal? JFC. Carl Martin plays Eskild’s hurt so well, you can see how much this is cutting into some deep wounds.

Again, we don’t know much about Eskild’s backstory, unfortunately, but you know this is all shit he’s heard before in various capacities, and it just sucks to hear it from someone you care about. To get told to your face by someone rushing to assert himself that he’s not like you. Because it doesn’t matter that Isak’s attempting to frame his comment as not being offensive, the thing is that he doesn’t want to be thought of like Eskild.

“I totally respect that you take the whole ‘gay package’ all the way, but I’m not like that.” You know, it didn’t really occur to me until now that when Isak says “gay package” he’s not just describing a set of stereotypically flamboyant characteristics. Like … to a degree he thinks there is an actual “gay package” that comes with a set of interests and mannerisms (gay test, dance instructor, etc.) To be gay you must be X and Y. Isak is not X and Y, therefore he is not gay. That’s why he’s separating himself from the label. Even’s comments about generalizing may have struck a chord with Isak but it’s not like they completely eradicated his internalized homophobia. 

This scene just gets more painful as it goes on because Isak is aware that he’s putting his foot in his mouth, but he also just thinks his point is justified, and he doesn’t get the root of what’s offensive about it. He’s trying to act like he doesn’t have a problem with people being too gay, but he does - not so much on a personal judgmental level but mainly as how those Gay-Gays will reflect on himself. And Eskild is so clearly hurt but he’s still being patient with Isak, up until a point.

Also it’s painful because obviously Isak is in the wrong here, but it’s understandable why he says what he says. His insecurities are being laid so bare. Isak’s internalized homophobia really doesn’t have much to do with thinking he’s wrong for liking boys, thinking he’s dirty or broken or anything like that. It’s mainly to do with social perceptions, how people are going to see him or judge him for liking boys, how can Isak identify as gay if he doesn’t feel like he fits the label?

I think a lesser show would address this issue by validating Isak’s insecurities or mollifying them in a surface way like, IDK, having Eskild explain to Isak that just being he likes a boy doesn’t mean Isak has to behave in a certain way, being gay doesn’t mean you have to act like this or dress like that. Which of course is true, but that’s not the root of the problem here, which is that Isak’s thinking itself is flawed and offensive. Giving an answer like “You don’t have to behave a certain way if you’re gay” is like getting a hole in your shirt and holding it together with a safety pin, rather than patching it up. 

I don’t blame Eskild at all for getting upset and having to walk out on Isak. He was being quite patient with him until he reached a breaking point, and this is obviously personal. Again, we don’t know Eskild’s backstory, but I would be willing to bet that he has experienced some of that harassment and hate firsthand. His delivery of his pride monologue is emotional but also measured. You know he is genuinely trying to bestow a lesson on Isak despite being upset. Maybe it’s a lesson that took Eskild some time to internalize himself.

Isak knows he messed up, and he feels shame over it. I think it’s good, though, that Eskild says yeah, you did mean to put yourself above it, because no matter how many times Isak was like “I have no problem with you taking the gay package all the way” or asserting that he’s not being negative, he really was.

Well, Isak, your first coming out to anyone would have gone pretty awesome if you had stopped talking at a certain point. Like this is far from the most disastrous it could have been, but I doubt Isak expected to get schooled. He’s not feeling so great, and then he gets the text that pours a truckload of salt in the wound.

This text from Even. Man. First of all, love that Julie shows the text, has Isak put the phone down, then look at it again, showing us the text once more, just to get across how much utter disbelief he is in. Fucking really? After what happened in the locker room, now Even wants to call it off? There are some excellent uses of timing and display of the text messages of Skam; it’s not just that they’re present, it’s that they’re edited into the show for maximum impact. (Another great use of timing with a text message is in episode 9 when Isak gets the text from his mother.)

As for the text itself, I want to mention how polite it is? It’s very carefully worded, you know Even was writing and rewriting this one a million times. Also, Even takes responsibility for the breakup and blames himself and apologizes. Like … as far as breakup texts go, this is about the nicest it could be.

In the script there was more from Even about “not meaning to give (Isak) false hope” and I’m glad they took it out because yeah, that is not really Even’s goal with this text, IMO. I think he’s trying not to hurt Isak as best as he can given the situation. Julie says they discussed in the editing room whether that extra line was too cold, and I think it would have been.

I don’t know how popular this opinion is, but knowing the full story of what’s happening with Even, I don’t think he actually did anything wrong in breaking up with Isak at this point. Isak didn’t leave him with any good options, honestly. Of course I feel awful for Isak, and we’re in his POV so it feels like we just got dumped too, we’re confused and hurt, but let’s look at this from Even’s POV. What are his options?

Stay with Isak while concealing his mental illness. This is what he eventually does, obviously, and it backfires in very drastic way. Hiding his bipolar disorder is going to be immensely stressful for Even, not to mention Even does not want to hurt Isak, which he thinks he will do eventually due to being mentally ill. We know that it’s not that cut-and-dry but Even has a lot of insecurities and a kind heart, and doesn’t want to cause anyone harm.

Tell Isak the truth. This is the ideal choice, perhaps, but can you blame Even for not doing so? He doesn’t want Isak to hate him and Isak has just made his thoughts on mentally ill people quite clear. Additionally, we know that Even was the subject of gossip and called crazy after the manic episode at Elvebakken, an incident that is still being discussed in gossip (as we know from Vilde’s later texts). Who’s to say Isak wouldn’t have told someone, prompting the rumor mill at Nissen, making Even the target of gossip at his new school as well as his old one? I mean I think Isak is better than that, but if you think about it, this is still early in their relationship, Even might like Isak but he can’t be sure that word of crazy-psycho Even will get out. I completely understand why Even would fear telling people. 

Cut his losses, break it off with Isak for both their sakes. It will be painful for both of them, but Even probably thinks better now than later, when they’re deeper into a relationship and their feelings.

Clip 6 - Everything comes crashing down

Julie really punches Isak in the balls here, huh? Between this clip and the last, she removes all of Isak’s strongest support systems and makes all of his insecurities and the mounting problems explode. Last clip created a wound between Isak and Eskild and mysteriously ended the Isak/Even relationship just as it was finally getting off the ground. So how can we kick Isak when he’s down today?

This pre-drink happens at Magnus’ place according to the texts, by the way. No sign of his ❤️ mamma ❤️

David made up this wild story about Magnus’ sexcapades and I hope it’s not one of the ones that came from real life, lmao. Also apparently everyone was tired filming this scene because it was very early in the morning until they chugged some Red Bull and it came to life.

Isak just looks broken, man. The way he’s sitting there totally disengaged from this conversation and just drinking. He’s just so heartbroken and he doesn’t understand why Even did what he did. Clearly there had to be something else going on besides his random kinda vague text message.

In the script Julie had Isak reading over his text history with Even, probably searching for some clue as to why things have ended the way they did. (Julie said she didn’t know why this part was cut and maybe they just forgot to film it.) So he was extra checked out, the boys were talking and Isak was not paying attention.

He’s so palpably miserable that it’s kind of hard to buy that none of the other boys notice. I know teenage boys are not supposed to be the most emotionally perceptive, but like … these boys are, sort of! Or at least Jonas is; Jonas has picked up when Isak is having mom problems and he later picks up (in a scene that’s a callback to this one) that Isak is having Even problems without Isak vocalizing any of this. But I think at this point, Jonas is kind of done with Isak’s BS, the boys are still frosty with him because of the “family party” and missing Magnus’ birthday, so they’re just going to let Isak stew even if he seems upset. Which sounds harsh but … I’ve been there, on both sides of it. And Isak has been lying repeatedly, so it’s like, what’s the point? It’s not like he’s going to tell them the truth.

When Magnus was telling the boys about his Vilde S&M dream, Isak and Jonas were on the same page despite arguing just a minute previously, they were looking to each other and laughing over Magnus’ ridiculousness. Here Jonas isn’t trying for that connection with Isak. Not that Isak would reciprocate if he did.

I don’t know why it’s so funny to me that Magnus logic is like “I couldn’t bang this girl in the bathroom because there was no toilet lid” like ??????? Son, can you think of no other ways to proceed with sexual activity? As Mahdi mentions, there are other positions you can do.

I mean this story is 100% fake anyway, so.

I love that completely over-it look Isak gives Magnus when Mags starts talking about escaping through the window. Though you know, Isak and Magnus aren’t all that different in this regard, since Isak also has told his friends fake stories of sexual conquest. It’s just that Magnus goes into excessive TMI detail and Isak keeps his vague enough so that the boys can infer whatever they want from Isak’s tales of straight sex.

But also, Isak is done with this shit because of how Magnus can tell some ridiculous made-up story about hooking up with a girl so easily among friends, and this is all part of straight boy culture or whatever you want to call it - bonding over hetereosexual shenanigans- when Isak is left out of this by not being able to talk about his own romantic adventures. Magnus’ story is bullshit, Isak has a real story about sneaking into someone’s house to use their pool and kissing underwater. But he can’t share it at this time because it was a boy he was kissing. He’s just excluded from his friends again.

Magnus’ laugh is fucking glorious. It’s like a honk.

Nice little moment of Jonas being all “I put on a nice shirt for this” and Mahdi being all “you look good, bro.” Casually supportive bros are the best bros, bro.

Poor Isak. When he hears Emma’s name you can see he’s like, just what I fucking needed right now. And of course his friends start paying attention to him when they think he might be able to get them into this party. He looks so drained at all of this. Either he’s going to be excluded from his friends again or he’s got to endure a party hosted by the girl who hates him.

The subtitles say that Magnus says, “There’s just three of us” and I don’t know if there are any translation differences but like … there are four of you in the room, Magnus. Isak just might as well not be there. He’s as lively as the chair he’s sitting on. (Unless Magnus means “there are three of us” as in “there are three more people besides me” but I can’t tell). EDIT: from @skamenglishsubs: Magnus is just lying, because the larger the group, the less chance they have of getting into the party according to teenage logic

Not that I would have a lot of patience for Isak at this point either, from their POV, but ouch at Mahdi being all “Well, Isak can go to his ‘family dinner’ and the three of us can go to the party.” Mahdi really isn’t hiding that he knows Isak has telling them bullshit. Plus, Magnus being all “I forgive you for forgetting my birthday” is acknowledging that there was something to forgive in the first place, a reminder of Isak fucking up with his friends.

It’s not The Worst Thing Ever buuuuut there is something a bit messed up about how the boys pressure Isak into taking them to this party when he clearly doesn’t want to go. Also with them pressuring him to do the Emma pre-drink. I love the boy squad but you kind of get why, even apart from casually homophobic comments, Isak felt the need to perform with them. Even when he’s trying to say no, they’re goading him into it. They’re not bad people at all but the pressure to participate in all these social activities where the pursuit of girls is a primary objective is really strong.

Lol, I think Mahdi and Magnus just like to rap together, that’s a thing between them, as also seen in the clip where Isak comes out to them.

I have an idea that Emma threw a party as a way to get her mind off that guy who led her on and ditched her and turned out to be gay.

Not gonna lie, as an English speaker it’s pretty jarring to have a song with the N-word so prominently in this context, though I don’t know if it’s as startling for Norwegians. 

I do find this a really memorable Skam walking scene, though. I looove the shots of the boys walking down the street, Isak trailing behind the other three, disconnected from the group.

Shout out to Jonas and Mahdi dancing in the streets, though. My boys!

Well, at least Isak wasn’t the only one who had a shit time at the party, judging by the girl who walks out without her shoes and flips off the one dude. 

L m a o  I fucking love how many people have noticed that this dude acting like a bouncer at Emma’s looks like such a piece of shit, like he time-traveled from the set of an ‘80s teen movie where he’s playing some evil preppie named Chad or Blaine from the rival rich kid summer camp who’s trying to turn the camp for the scrappy underdog heroes into a golf course. I mean this was some shockingly effective casting for a guy who’s on screen for a minute. 

Bless Mahdi for calling out that guy for acting like a self-appointed doorman.

Why was Vilde hanging out with Blad, anyway? No wonder she’s happy to see Magnus, he’s at least entertaining compared to these insufferable bores.

You can see Even winding his way through the crowd, by the way, before Isak sees him.

Oh my God, Isak being so out of it and then waking up when he sees Even breaks my heart. You can see his heart jump-start. And then he just has to get into this party. He needs to talk to Even, figure out what went wrong.

Shout out to the bro nod Isak exchanges with Sana on his quest for Even.

If Isak managed to make it to Even without Sonja reappearing, how do you think the exchange would have gone? Fraught, for sure. I feel like we don’t see a lot of confrontation between Isak and Even in canon to know how it would’ve gone, like I think Even would’ve been pretty shook and trying to hide that he was hurting but I’m not sure how it would’ve gone with Isak. I don’t think he’d be as downcast or muted as the cafeteria encounter later - this is a fresh wound and Isak is really confused. I doubt he would’ve been angry and started yelling or confronting Even directly in public, but I think he would’ve tried to be more forceful and upset. And I’m not sure how Even would’ve explained himself; it’s one thing to write a text message that you can word carefully and edit before you send, it’s another to see the boy you’re basically in love with a day after you broke up with him, wanting to know what went wrong. Like Even is smooth but maybe not that smooth. How is he going to tell Isak to his face that he doesn’t want to be with him?

Actually, think about how awkward it would’ve been if Isak and Even were talking and then Sonja showed up.

Even’s up on some kind of platform/elevation with just that one guy, and I kind of wonder if he went up there by himself to get some breathing room or get a minute to think until a guy he knows from class or whoever he is came up and decided to chat. I think Even is really, really good at concealing when he’s hurting or struggling.

Case in point, Even looks really good in this scene. Peak hair, peak attire, seeming happy and healthy. Isak can’t even sit there with his friends without his misery pouring out of him, written all over his face, but Even is apparently doing totally fine a day after breaking up with Isak, and that really has to sting for Isak. Not even just that Even broke up with him, but that he’s not visibly suffering over it.

Tbh, I wondered why Even was at this party considering Emma cannot be a big fan of him right now. IDK, I guess maybe he showed up with some people he knows from class? Or Sonja invited him? Maybe some of it depends on what you think Sonja told Emma about Isak and Even. I doubt Sonja told Emma about Even’s MI but maybe she told Emma something like “Even was confused” and implied she would get back with him. So Emma maybe wanted to help out her cool older friend Sonja by putting Sonja and Even at the same place so they could reunite? 

Isak certainly could have apologized to Emma sooner and in a better situation, but it’s nice that he does at least acknowledge he was being shitty and apologizes to her here, even with the little effect it has.

Isak is so stressed over running into Emma, Tarjei does this reaction well. And on man, the way Isak’s face changes when Emma says he’s gay. What a nightmare for him. She knows. He’s too shocked to argue or respond in any way.

“It’s 2016, Isak. Get out of the closet!” lol the moment when a lot of us lost a lot of sympathy for Emma

For what it’s worth, I think this is clearly not an author-endorsed statement considering Emma is pointedly shown to have some ignorant viewpoints about gay people. Plus, the previous clip contained a passionate call for respect of gay pride with acknowledgment of what LGBT people go through (harassment, violence, death) so I think it’s obvious that the show knows it’s difficult to come out even in 2016.

Though this is just making me think of Emma being all “Eskild is hilarious, gay people are so funny” and what his response might be if she said, “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” in front of him. I doubt it would be hilarious.

I don’t think Emma is a terrible person. She’s just very, very uninformed and is unaware of her straight privilege.  And while I am sympathetic to her in being led on by Isak, not gonna lie, it’s harder for me to feel sympathy when she has the least stakes out of this love quadrangle? Sonja is losing her boyfriend of several years, who has cheated on her and suddenly left her for someone else. Even is dealing with how his mental illness affects his relationships with Sonja and Isak. Isak is dealing with internal and external homophobia. Emma … made out with a dude twice at parties and he turned out to be gay. It is shitty of him to lead her on but he also was not in any official relationship with her and they didn’t know each other that well. Like. She will get over it.

“Hold My Liquor” was supposed to start playing here, after Emma tells Isak he’s gay, according to the script. I think it’s a good choice to keep the random party music and only start with Kanye toward the very end, when everything has gone to shit. We needed that iconic BITCH I’M BACK OUT MY COMA when Isak is beating up bushes.

Goddamn, Isak looks up at just the worst moment, doesn’t he? You wonder what would have happened if he hadn’t run out of the party, if Even and Sonja kept kissing or Even pulls away or what.

There were SO many theories about what exactly happened with Even, Sonja, and the random blond dude! Straightforward theories that Even was lying about breaking up with Sonja all along. Theories that Even needed to pretend to be in a relationship with Sonja for some reason, like to protect himself against homophobia. Theories that the guy was hitting on Even and Sonja showed up to lay a smooch on Even because she was helping him to deter this random guy. And it’s kind of interesting because we never really get a clear-cut answer as to what happened. I think it’s easy enough to guess from later context, but it’s not like Even ever goes, “Well, actually, Isak, when Sonja kissed me it was because she is an alien from a galaxy far far away where she needs lip-to-lip contact to collect nutrients from human beings.” There is a lot of wiggle room as to what was happening on Even’s side of S3 between the break-up text and the Evak reunion in episode 7.

Because we don’t have clear-cut answers, I guess I’ll do some projection. I like Sonja but I think she didn’t quite buy into Even leaving her at this point, probably because she does chalk up his interest in Isak to Even’s mental illness, or out of denial at her own relationship ending. So when she runs into Even here, she goes in for the kiss because they’re Sonja and Even, that’s what they do, they’re a couple. They were on a break but that’s it, just a break, not permanent. Sonja is the one to initiate the kiss and she seems pretty confident about it. And Even, I think, just goes along because he’s upset over Isak, and because Sonja is comforting, he can depend on their relationship. To me he seems a little resigned, happy to see her (because she is an important person in his life) but not overly enthusiastic to kiss her.

We never get answers as to whether Even and Sonja officially got back together for a time after this, or if this was a one-off kiss, or something in between. Personally I lean toward Even and Sonja not really getting back together all the way or if so, it being fleeting and ending well before Even shows up at Isak’s door in episode 7. Just because I think it makes more sense that Even is not with Sonja at that point.

This Magnus/Vilde scene was improv by the actors according to the script. Vilde didn’t see anyone she wanted to hook up with, and I mean, if her choices were ‘80s teen movie villains I completely understand. Plus Eva is occupied with P-Chris.

Mahdi, you played the “family dinner” joke one too many times, and you happened to catch Isak at a very bad place. One of the boys laughs at the family dinner comment and I think it’s Jonas? Which would suck for Isak since Jonas is usually Team Isak. They’re all just united against Isak’s crap. But Jonas here realizes again that something is really wrong with Isak, it has to be more than just moodiness and snottiness.

I have Opinions on how people bring up this incident in relationship to Isak hitting Mikael in S4 and how it’s not really the same thing, and this scene doesn’t make the one in S4 feel more IC, but maybe I should save those for S4 recaps.

BITCH I’M BACK OUT MY COMA

Let’s recap. Isak inadvertently insulted Eskild, hurting his feelings, and got scolded by him. Emma knows he is gay. The boys are shutting him out and Isak just made things worse by shoving Mahdi. And Even broke up with him and is back to kissing Sonja.  It’s all adding up to break Isak, though I do think the situation with Even is what’s causing him the worst pain, because in a way his feelings for Even have been the catalyst for everything else that’s gone wrong and now he doesn’t even have Even. And he can’t talk to anyone about this because he’s either not out to people, or the few people who know he is gay are mad at him or smooching their not-so-ex girlfriends.

This scene of Isak lashing out at bushes could have been overly melodramatic and unintentionally comedic, but Julie knows to keep the editing short and not go over the top. It helps that we see only the back of Isak because that’s really all we need, right? I’m sure Tarjei would knock it out of the park with his facial expressions but we don’t need to see them, Isak’s state of mind is communicated by him lashing out, and the ending cry of frustration and sobs as he falls to his knees. I think shooting him from the back kept it from going too OTT.

And we go silent for the credits just to end on a bleak note. And then we went silent for 10 days.

I mean, except for analyzing moles and areolae. 

General Comments

To elaborate on the mole/areolae analysis, I hope everyone has seen the hiatus trailer that aired after this episode. Because oh my God, that hiatus trailer. People were going WILD with the theories. Numerous screencaps were taken and compared to note similarities in nipples and moles among characters. The consensus was that the trailer is definitely two people fucking, but who could it be???? Isak and Even? That totally looked like a girl boob, was that Even and Sonja? Or were Isak and Emma going to hook up? Was it not a girl and Isak going to sleep with another guy? Some rando from Grindr? Eskild? Jonas? Penetrator Chris??? If these ideas seem outlandish, I am telling you the truth, these were all real theories floated about.

And then lol, it turned out to be Isak and Even. Surprise. It’s footage from the end of episode 7.

(I’m just going to throw it out there, not all of the footage from the hiatus trailer made it into the final clip, so somewhere Julie has extra footage of the first Isak/Even sex scene. You’re welcome.)

On the social media front, we see pics of Magnus’ birthday party on Jonas’ IG and Magnus apparently was in some proximity to Vilde.

When Isak texts Even post-cuddle scene, Even texts him back at 21:21, so you know he’s a sappy fucker, but it took him several hours to text back and he dodges any real explanation of what’s up with him (I was at my aunt’s house, swimming! JK btw you’re hot).

Though “You look hot when you’re sleeping” is some Grade-A thirst, yowza.

Also the boys were texting Isak about Magnus’ party but he ignored them. Too loved up in Even’s arms. Then days later (after the “family meeting clip”) he’s like “WHOOPS didn’t see this, I didn’t have 3G.” Jonas doesn’t anything to respond except a thumbs up emoji. Because Isak being all “let’s do it again this weekend” is some BS when he’s probably just going to ditch them again.

We get a Kollektivet text mentioning PK, the caretaker, who apparently Eskild and Linn have a weird relationship with. Tell me more about this, kollektivet family! Who is this mysterious PK? There was an IG story of him with Isak, I believe. EDIT: @skamenglishsubs sent me some links to the PK-and-Isak content. Thank you!

And Eskild drops in a casual “You could’ve met (PK) on Saturday if you didn’t stay in your room all weekend.” HmmmmMMM.

An underrated text: Magnus roasting Jonas about being an anti-capitalist hipster. 

There’s a little foreshadowing of sorts in that text: Magnus says his ❤️ mamma ❤️ will find him a job for OD. Tiny thing but it is establishing that Magnus thinks his mother is the best.

[cathygeha]

REVIEW

Up In Smoke by Annabeth Albert

Hot Shots #4

 This book left a smile on my face. It was a steamy-sweet romance between two men that so deserved to find happiness. No major drama for the couple though taking on the care of an infant baby girl was definitely not easy…but so much easier together than it would have been for either to do alone. It almost had a fairytale feel to it and was perfect reading for me the day I read it!

 What I liked: * That the backstories of the two men had commonalities

* That I felt both men were “equal” and brought qualities that would support the relationship

* That the two men communicated openly and maturely

* Shane: good brother, musician, loving uncle, has goals and dreams, a good person

* Brandt: firefighter, a bit of a rambler, professional, caring, team player, a good person

* The growth in both main characters

* How the two dealt with the situation they found themselves in

* That they were there for Jewel, the baby, and for one another

* That there was no major drama between the two men

* That it felt believable – mostly

* The fairytale feel of the story that might have been less believable but that was very nice indeed

* The happy ending

* Seeing/hearing about some of the characters from previous books in the series

* Wondering if there will be more books in the series

* That there was no “bad guy”

* All of it really except…

 What I didn’t like:

* Being reminded that firefighters have a tough life and that they sometimes die as a result of the job(s) they do.

 Did I enjoy this book? Yes

Would I read more in this series? Yes

 Thank you to NetGalley and Harlequin-Carina Press for the ARC – This is my honest review.

 4-5 Stars

Up in Smoke by Annabeth Albert is available in eBook, mass market paperback and audiobook formats on April 27th!

  Book Description

Three Men and a Baby meets Backdraft with explosive chemistry and heartfelt feels.

 Freewheeling smoke jumper Brandt Wilder thrives on adrenaline. He’s never met a parachute he can’t repair or a dangerous situation he couldn’t wrangle his way out of. He’s popular and fun-loving and not at all looking to settle down or form lasting relationships. It’s a lifestyle that’s served him well…right up until the day he finds a baby on his doorstep.

 Shane Travis is used to putting his country music career—and his own happiness—on hold after his sister rolls through his life. Like last spring when she convinced him to try skydiving for his birthday—and she walked away with the hot parachute instructor.

 Now he gets to deliver the piece of news that will upend Brandt’s carefree life: he very well might be a dad.

 Shane’s niece is safe in Brandt’s strong, capable hands, but too many questions remain unanswered. Co-parenting while they sort it out leads to late-night talks, and soul-bearing confessions lead to a most inconvenient attraction. Still, Shane can’t leave this makeshift family behind—even if it means playing house with the one man he can’t resist.

 Hotshots

Book 1: Burn Zone (available now!)

Book 2: High Heat (available now!)

Book 3: Feel the Fire (available now!)

Book 4: Up in Smoke (coming April 27)

  Read on for an excerpt from Up in Smoke.

 Brandt’s deep chuckle rumbled straight through Shane. Damn. This was torture. Then the other man wrapped an arm around Shane, positioning his muscled forearm where Shane could see his fancy-looking watch gadget. “Now this is my altimeter. It tells me when we’re at five thousand feet and ready to deploy the chute.”

“Got it.” Shane wasn’t about to study that meaty arm any more than he absolutely had to.

“Okay, it’s go time.” Dallas’s voice echoed though the room. Brandt quickly unclipped them, but as soon as he stepped away, Shane’s pulse kicked up. Maybe he couldn’t do this. Jump out of a plane? Who was he kidding? He was a ground dweller, through and through.

Right when he was about to turn away, though, Brandt grabbed his biceps. “Nerves hitting you? Trust me. You’ll be just fine. I haven’t lost a jumper yet.”

Shane barked out a laugh. “Not exactly making me feel better.”

“Listen, I can tell you all day about how awesome this is.” Brandt looked him dead in the eyes, gaze serious for once, all his charm turned to raw intensity. “But until you do it, you’re gonna think it’s all BS. Sometimes you gotta take a leap of faith.”

“Not very good at those,” Shane admitted quietly as he stepped free of the other guy’s grip. He couldn’t keep meeting his eyes either. Too much power there, like a shot with an extra kick.

“Okay. You want me to tell Dallas you want out?”

A yes was right there on the tip of Shane’s tongue, but then he heard Shelby’s laugh ring out. She’d love it if he chickened out. Not only would she get bragging rights for all of eternity, she’d get what she’d wanted and get to go with Brandt. And for whatever reason, Shane hated that most of all. “Nah. I’m going.”

He white-knuckled his way out to the small plane, spared a nod for the female pilot, and squished his eyes shut until Shelby jostled him into looking at the valley underneath them, the green canopy of the national forest contrasting with the pristine blue sky. Random snippets of lyrics danced through Shane’s head, ways that he might try to describe this view. But then, right as he was settling into something resembling comfort, everyone started shuffling around, getting ready to go. The wind rushed in as the hatch opened, and a full-body shiver raced through Shane.

Then Shelby gave him and Brandt one last coy grin before she and Dallas were away, her whoop echoing across the sky.

“Ready? Here we go.” Brandt nudged Shane closer to the open hatch. Shane wanted to say no, wanted to drag their clipped-together bodies back inside the plane, wanted to both hurl and yell. But in the end, all he could do was nod. Only one way down.

His knees had locked up even as his thighs trembled. Behind him, Brandt was sure and solid. He could push Shane out the hatch pretty easily, but he didn’t. He was letting it be Shane’s choice. And somehow that patience and restraint gave Shane a jolt of courage. One step into nothingness. That was all it took.

Brandt was right behind him, smooth as if they were on a dance floor, not open sky. And now they were fall­ing. Falling so fast. Faster than a car on the interstate with the windows all down, faster than a dirt bike on a steep incline, faster than the whoosh down a water slide. There was no describing the feeling of the wind on his cheeks, the roar in his ears, the shout that probably be­longed to him, the adrenaline that crashed through him as he tried to remember what they’d practiced about po­sitioning. Damn. Hard to think.

Which was funny because that was the one thing he was good at. Shelby was forever teasing him about overthinking. But now, his brain couldn’t even pull two words together as they rushed through the air. Brandt yelled something, but Shane was too busy hurtling through the sky to focus on it. And then he was pulled backwards, a hard yank as the parachute deployed. No more freefall. And the oh-my-God-about-to-die adrenaline quieted enough that he could look down, really look.

“Oh my word. It’s… .”

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Brandt’s voice was deep and rich, like warm honey over Shane’s still jangling nerves. Now that the air wasn’t rushing so fast, he could hear him better. Almost too much better, because it felt like they were soaking up each other’s awe and wonder. Sharing something warm and tender and perfect.

“Yeah.”

“Nothing like it.” Brandt whistled low, a sound that hit Shane somewhere soft. “Never gonna get tired of this view.”

“Me either.” Shane almost didn’t recognize his own voice, up this high, this far removed from everything that usually weighed him down.

“Hey, Superman. You want a turn steering?” Brandt didn’t wait for Shane to reply, grabbing his arms, guid­ing his hands.

“Whoa. Wow. I’m doing it. Look at us.” They swooped gently from side to side, and it was quite possibly the best feeling Shane had ever experienced.

“Look at you. Didn’t know your smile muscles even worked.”

“Screw you. I can smile.” Shane was feeling so good that he had to laugh.

“Well, then get ready. The landing crew will snap your pic as we land. It’s your rock-star moment.”

“Feels like it,” he said right before Brandt took over and set them down softly in a clearing, barely even jarring Shane’s knees. “Damn. That was…”

“It was something.” Brandt was looking right at him, like he could see straight through Shane’s layers, strip him bare. And Shane held his gaze, held the moment as long as he could.

 Copyright © 2021 by Annabeth Albert

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  About Annabeth Albert

Annabeth Albert grew up sneaking romance novels under the bed covers. Now, she devours all subgenres of romance out in the open—no flashlights required! When she’s not adding to her keeper shelf, she’s a multi-published Pacific Northwest romance writer.

 Emotionally complex, sexy, and funny stories are her favorites both to read and to write. Annabeth loves finding happy endings for a variety of pairings and is a passionate gay rights supporter.  In between searching out dark heroes to redeem, she works a rewarding day job and wrangles two children.

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[adventureswithedmund]

Carbon Fiber Cycling Shoes

Long time no see! Introducing some homemade cycling shoes!

I’ve always wanted to use carbon fiber to make something. It’s a pretty cool material and was less boring sounding than wood working and less costly than metal working. Find practical applications was actually more difficult than I thought. With my current cycling shoes wearing thin, I figure carbon fiber could reinforce a pair of soccer cleats making it a cycling shoe!

Carbon fiber can be used and processed in many ways. Because I had limited access to equipment and don’t have a bunch of fun money, I took some shortcuts and trade offs to make the carbon fiber cycling shoes work.

The Plan

The plan is to use a donor shoe as the upper, add carbon fiber to make the sole stiffer and add bolts for cleat attachment. I have only found one forum post where someone else attempted this so prior information was sparse. Found some cheap orange cleats on ebay so next was getting the carbon fiber materials. 

Using Carbon Fiber

Carbon fiber itself is a flexible cloth which is great to warp around things. Like cloth there are different weaves. I picked a 2x2 twill carbon fiber weave because it was more flexible for tight bends. To cure the carbon fiber, I used Max 1618 epoxy which did not require high heat curing temperatures.

Because I didn’t have an oven in which I can cure the carbon fiber nor did I want to invest in a vacuum pump, I opted to just let my carbon fiber cure in the garage while being tightly wrapped in saran warp. The trade offs from not using an oven is that the epoxy may not cure as hard or impregnate the epoxy as well. The trade offs for not using a vacuum pump is that the part may end up being heavier as excess epoxy will remain in the part.

I did research pre-preg carbon fiber which was essentially carbon fiber with epoxy already in it. While this was nice, pre-preg was quite expensive and also had a shelf life. Perhaps if I really knew what I was going to make with carbon fiber than I would opt for pre-preg carbon fiber down the line.

Regarding wrapping the shoe in saran wrap, I also used a layer of peel ply between the saran wrap and carbon. This allowed me to easily remove the saran wrap since it would not be in contact with the epoxy. The peel ply doesn’t stick to epoxy so that was easy to remove too. 

Preparing the Shoe

I used a Nike Mercurial as a donor shoe primarily because it looked cool. To create a smooth bottom, I removed the studs from the bottom of the shoe with a dremel and sanded down the surface. I kept the rear studs so they balance with a cleat on. 

To prove that this concept will even work, I measured out 3 holes for cleats with my current pair of cycling shoes. To receive the screws from the cleat bolts, I bought a Shimano cleat nut replacement part SH-R121 which is normally for a Shimano shoe. This part is amazing because it had the correct 3 screw spacing and curvature already set in one piece of thin metal! I took a test ride in the the proof of concept and they functioned! They felt a but sloppy because the bottom of the shoe was way to flexible but they did clip in and out on command :)

Carbon fiber could be added in a couple ways to the shoe.

I originally wanted to remove the sole of the shoe and cover that completely with carbon fiber. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the sole off the shoe. I even tried several methods including boiling water but it wasn’t budging.

Another method was to create a carbon fiber insert inside the shoe. The great thing would be that the insole may be transferable and I wouldn’t damage the outside of the shoe. I needed to get a mold of the inside of the shoe with a material that also would durable and not be brittle. I came across epoxy clay which is amazing! I was able to model the inside of the shoe. The biggest issue I realized afterwards was that an insert, even replacing the original insole, would have taken up too much space inside the shoe. As a result, I never made the carbon fiber insert.

The most obvious method is to epoxy carbon fiber on to the bottom of the shoe. I prepared a template for the carbon fiber cutout but taping masking tape on the shoe and removing it. This way, the masking tape perseveres the 3D aspect of the shape. I cut out three pieces of carbon fiber of the same shape which turned out harder than expected. Intricate parts of the template were hard to create because the carbon fiber just fell apart when there wasn’t enough material to hold it together. Sharper scissors or using pre-preg carbon would have helped. 

I prepped the shoe with masking tape to protect the upper and started epoxying the carbon fiber to the shoe. Overall it was an easy process. I wrapped the shoe in peel-ply and saran wrap and then let it sit outside for a day.

The results were pretty good! I did notice some areas where the carbon was more bare. I think my distribution of epoxy wasn’t too even as I tried not to add too much epoxy. It felt pretty stiff even with 3 layers of carbon fiber. What surprised me was how sharp the carbon fiber became after the epoxy. I was pricked so many times that I wonder if it was a safety hazard. Carbon fiber splinters are probably not good. I sanded down the shoe and tried to remove as much masking tape as I could. Looking back, I probably didn’t need the masking tape anyways. I drilled the 3 holes again for the cleat and added some skateboarding tape for grip and we were off to try it out!

The Review

I bravely took the shoe out for a shop ride on Sunday as the first ride. It was 50 miles but I also took my regular right shoe as backup. The new shoe clipped in and out easily and even made the nice snapping noise. It felt stable and secure even during the climbs. From a functionality point of view, they worked. From a comfort point of view it left a bit to be desired.

Here were some of the comfort problems. Because I used a soccer shoe, the toe box was smaller than most shoes; I guess it would be beneficial for a soccer player. This wasn’t great for cycling as it felt a little too snug after my foot warmed up. The Shimano cleat I used ever so slightly elevated the area around the ball of my foot but I didn’t offset that with something at the heel of my foot. This cause a hot spot problem which actually led me to swap back to my regular shoe. The last problem was a comfort and usability problem. Soccer cleats don’t have the best lateral stiffness so unclipping took more force than I would like. It wasn’t difficult; when the heel moved out-bound, it would unclip the shoe a little bit later than usual. As a result, it didn’t feel very ergonomic and was a little annoying.

What’s next?

Well, the shoe worked. Though not super well. I think using a soccer cleat as a donor shoe because it looked cool helped spark conversations but wasn’t the best donor shoe. I probably will not make the left pair with the soccer shoes and may find a new donor shoe. To be honest, my current cycling shoes are going to hit the bin soon so I might just go and purchase a new pair of cycling shoes.

Overall this was a very fun project. I was glad I got into carbon fiber and now have the materials on the ready for new projects. Maybe next time i will have something more permanent to share :)

[kyoune]

wisteria

i’ll cling to you.

fandom: midnight cinderella notes: suitors/reader, a collection of fluff drabbles for the suitors of midnight cinderella (minus one). mostly spoiler free (watch out for leo’s, at least)

alyn

the fairytales say that princesses are dainty little things. they dance, they wear dresses and chatter over afternoon tea, they find a prince charming, and live happily ever after. princesses do not handle blades - danger is not meant to reach them, for what is what knights are for.

damn what the fairytales say.

there’s no drop of royal blood in you anyways, and this is what comforts you when your fingers slide down the cold metal. it does not feel like danger, but it does feel like home.

“are you sure you want to do this?” alyn’s voice is paranoid, overprotective. you can’t blame him, because accidents do happen, and your smooth, clean skin is a temptation for calamity. yet at the same time, as princess elect of wysteria, you have but one duty, and a wound to your flesh is a mere paper cut compared to a kingdom without a ruler.

most of all, you remind him, luxurious silk gowns don’t go well with princess blood.

a sigh tumbles out, but so does “fair point”.  he reaches out and takes your hand in his, starting off with the basics. with his guidance, you mimic and practice the exercises, trying not to imagine the inevitable bloodshed and violence. his fingers trace the skin where it is most vulnerable, where it is most efficient to stick blades in, and now you know why pocket knives are such popular weapons, even for the common thief.

a stab to the heart, a simple knock to the head, just one little mishap and perhaps you’ll never see the light of day again.

“now, come at me. i’ll test you.”

alyn assumes the role of guard on watch, back turned. the veins in your hands pulse like a ticking clock, and as your arms lift up, you can just feel it, the adrenaline behind your force, the almost frightful thrill that shocks your body as you swing the blade forward -

.. and his fingers snatch your arm. alyn’s other hand steadies you, and he steals a kiss when you whirl around in confusion.

“not bad, not bad.” he laughs, “fierce is a good look on you.”

giles

of all the things you’d expect to see, giles sleeping, face smashed against the oak desk, was not one of them. sleep makes his face look gentle, less like a strict tutor and more like the kindhearted cat lover you know.

maybe it’s not that surprising. he wears many hats, some of which should not rest on his head. yet they fall on him anyway, for there is always something to do, something to achieve. for giles christophe, being busy is a way to prove that his life has worth, even if it meant he couldn’t be a knight, even if it meant he’d have to tire the hell out of himself every night.

without him, the palace could crumble. few men can carry the weight of a country on their shoulders. speaking of shoulders, you figure adding a blanket to those wouldn’t hurt; it is rather cold, and oh, those windows will need to be shut too. around his office do you go, your feet automatically moving, your hands cleaning up a bit here and there.

minutes pass until your hands latch on to some amethyst fabric, embossed in the wysterian crest. bunching it up around your fists, you deem it warm enough, and layer it upon his shoulders.

the moment it touches him, he springs to life.

“princess…?” your title cracks on his tongue, bruised by the grogginess of his voice. how tired he sounds could break your heart.

“please don’t worry about me.” you add, “and … take care of yourself more.”

giles says nothing, though the outer corners of his lips turn up gently as you tuck the layer in. a few more finishing adjustments, and you are satisfied with your work, heels turning to let him rest in peace.

before you can even take a step away, however, familiar hands intertwine with one of yours.

“i love you, princess.”

louis

the harp really does suit him. it’s the picture of elegance; the strings and the base are as slender as he, the notes resonate with an unmatched gentleness, and the way his fingers pluck at it is just so, so graceful.

“would you like to try?”

ah. you’ve been staring too long, it seems. the lovely chimes have long stopped, and the heat of iced eyes gnaws at you. expectant, the duke’s gaze lays down a heavy peer pressure, but you know he’s being nothing but kind - you’d never have the guts to ask or intrude otherwise.

he eases when you break out into smiles and nods, ice melting into water. a featherlight smile balances on his lips, which kiss your knuckles as he takes your hand in his.

lithe fingers cover yours, and while your mind spins into a spell, all you can think about is how this is exactly like your dance lessons: he’s close, you’re blushing, and god is your heart pounding. blond bangs sweep across your forehead for a second, and his warm, soft lips press a kiss to your nose.

“don’t lose concentration now.” his voice is soft, edging on teasing.

“ah, sorry!“

leo

he’s the rumpelstiltskin of words. smooth talker, charismatic aristocrat - he takes words and spins them into gold. whether it was written or spoken did not matter; he was a master of both. paperwork ran in his blood, his speeches just came to him, and on the tip of his tongue always lies a jest, a pick-up line. with them, he crafts a mask to hide behind, locking the secret of who he was behind insincere pleasantries and vague hints.

and you, your heart is too full of compassion, your tiny body can’t possibly hold it all. it’s why your emotions spill so easily on your face, your eyes and lips swinging from one expression to another. in a way, the two of you are opposites, leo with his cryptic, static smiles, and you with your whirlwind face.

maybe that’s why you don’t get him sometimes.

hovering over the palace balcony with his face pulled taut, the bureaucrat appears to be set in stone. red, red eyes burn downwards, as if daring to peek at the midnight blue above would hurt. for the fifth consecutive night, leo hasn’t seen a wink of sleep, and you are beginning to wonder if he’s fallen into the past again.

it worries you, and you want to say something, anything, but you know better than anyone that forcing words is treading on thin ice. the past is thick waves of flames and dead parents, the lost childhood that burnt down with the crawford estate. it is a past that you have no part of, because you are his future, the future of healing waters and happy memories, and he wants you nowhere near that fire, lest it start burning once more.

from the bedroom, you bore hores into his back with your own eyes, adamant. tomorrow he will be gone, off to sort his fiasco of a family, diving back into the matter he hates most. this time, however, you will not let him go alone.

“you know, i’d do anything to keep you safe.” it’s a phrase that sounds foreign on your tongue, so foreign that it quivers. but it does take his eyes away, distracts from whatever might be tormenting him.

“so let me come too.”

he breaks from his statuesque stance, pulls you close, and it’s a mess of limbs and stray bedsheets; his hair tickles your neck when he inclines for a cuddle, and there’s so much squirming that you fear the shuffling could reach giles’ ears. when you two finally settle, with you sitting upright and his head on your lap, the silence is replaced by laughter.

“thanks.”

robert

when robert had asked to paint you, you were excited. as crown princess, it really shouldn’t have been a big deal - portraits were nearly tradition to royalty, and never had they not been painted. but when you’ve spent the last decade of your life in the shoes of a commoner, however, such things were new; they were a privilege, a dream so far that it’d never be truer than a fairy tale.

but this was not how you thought it would be.

perhaps you’ve misconstrued his words somehow. hm… yes, yes that must have been it. rainbows of colours surround you, held captive in glass bottles. brushes of duck feathers and horse tail skim the floor lazily. the painter himself wields one now, dyed in some fusion of scarlet… and gently swipes the end over the curve of your lips.

it’s soft, and it tickles. clutching at the hem of your favourite dress, you bunch up the fabric in imitation of the courage you’re trying to muster, the courage to ask hey, aren’t paintings made on mediums such as canvases, and you know… not me?

before the words can even catch in your throat, robert slips his fingers under your chin, and tilts your face towards him. “what’s wrong, love?”

the affectionate term makes you flush.

“aren’t you supposed to be painting me and not on me?” it’s an innocent question, honest, but somehow it makes him raise a brow and chuckle.

“i’d have to paint your portrait sooner or later, princess. i just thought… something more personal would be nice.“ he smiles, and within that small quirk of his lip, you see mischievous intent.

so you play along.

“tell me what you mean by ‘personal’.”

another grin surfaces on his face, this one a tinge more wolffish. he leans in close, kisses the lip colour off your mouth, and prepares his brush in a new color, a pale peach.

“mmm…i’ll tell you when i’m done with you.”

sid

“they makin’ you study again, princess?” disdain stains the informant’s voice, his fingers clipping up the pages of the book with disgust, as if it were contaminated. “bullshit.”

he continues this game as he tours your study, long legs taking wide strides, sneering at every article. if you didn’t know him any better, he’d seem like he were impersonating the bureaucrats around you, with his nose pointed high, his steps taken with arrogance.  

you purse your lips, hide your smile. amused as you are, the matter of your duties takes priority, and the princess of wysteria has much more important things to do over entertaining her local bad boy.

at least, that is what you tell yourself, eyes endlessly fixated on him. damn him for being so alluring, so distracting in a way.

"I need to study.” it comes out colder than you want it to be, but hey, that’s not your problem. not like it’d affect him much, anyway; he gets this treatment from a fellow blonde duke all the time, does he not?

yet his face collapses in exasperation nonetheless, as if he were already tired of this “princess” thing. dark brows knit for a split second, and when they relax back, his voice takes on a sensual edge.

“really?” another book is tossed to the ground, “guess i’ll have to tutor ya myself.”

“and why, exactly, would you be a good tutor?”

“because i know shit.”

you can practically hear the grin in his voice. it’s his trademark smirk, the one you always want to slap off. or kiss off. either works.

“i really need to study, sid.”

and you whip back, intending to tackle your problem subject yet again, but what you don’t know is that sid has you too close to let you go.

the minute your skin flushes against the leather bound cover of the textbook, his hands have slammed down on either side of you, and the birch desk creaks in protest to the added weight.

“nah. you don’t.”

the man has you straddled in no more than three minutes. lips nipping at the tender side of your ear, he’s got a grin that taunts “just try to get rid of me”.

it would be worthless to resist. like a lion, sid arnault gets what he wants, and he will fight for it.

“fine. just this once, okay?”

your fingers press against the thick fur of his coat, slipping under the layer and peeling it off. the husky chuckle that chafes your ears is telling of his approval, and he glides his fingers down your thighs, tapping the bone of your knees before tracing to your hip.

“this,” he murmurs, “is the femur.”

“that’s… not what i need to learn.”

“yeah, i know. but see? i know shit.”

your laugh stifles into a gasp when he leans in and bites your lip.

nico

fevers are weird.

they’re cold, and then they’re hot. they’re somewhere in between that isn’t “warm” nor “comfortable”, and the only relief for the affected comes from the sweet unconsciousness that sleep brings. most of all, however, they are an unwelcome visitor.

much like nico himself, you suppose, though colds cannot react to chilled glares and whispers of “who let this child into the palace?”, to the unrelenting judgement of haughty nobles and veteran staff, the treatment that you know all too well.

it’s a miracle how all that cheer can fit into him, now that you think about it.

nico meier, he’s always sprightly smiles and spring flowers around you (or perhaps, for you). your personal butler and self-established cheerleader, there is not a day where he has failed to brighten you up, sneaking in extra food from the pantry, or making silly faces when giles dives into another one of his motherly lectures. it never mattered if blurred figures of nobility looked down upon him, it never mattered if it hurt to be an outsider, but what did matter to him was you.

you drench the towel in ice water, fold it into neat rectangles for his forehead. as the cloth wrings in your hands, your heart does too. he does so much for you, never complains, and yet… perhaps you’ve taken him for granted.

the flutter of weak fingertips halts you. nico’s eyes settle open, a hoarse “hey..” escaping as the butler attempts to wrangle on a grin. a few seconds pass, and he’s betrayed by his own body, shivering as he tosses around with a groan.

a finger to your lips, you shush him, ushering him back under the comforter.

“just for today, let me serve you.”

bryon

novels stack his desk, the tower of books neatly aligned in a pillar. normally, they wouldn’t matter to you; it’s usually yet another cocktail of history texts, spiced with a math book or two. if you were lucky, perhaps there’d be a pamphlet about stargazing or the native flora. today, everything in the queue alarms you: they’re all silly romance novels, a “guide to love”, and… wait, is he reading a book about pick up lines? the king of stein, a stoic with hawk eyes, byron wagner.. studying romance?

“bryon?”

you’re tempted to ask why, but the shock chains your voice away. he looks up, but only briefly, flashing his focus back down to a dog eared page.

“are you a library book? because i am checking you out.”

“…”

the intention is sweet. the execution? questionable. you haven’t heard of many men who could charm women with monotone lines. in fact, you haven’t heard of any, nor have you ever met any other man who would say such things with a gaze so sharp it could kill.

you suck in a breath, pretending as if you’ve just eaten a sour candy.

“did sid do th- no. don’t answer that. i already know.”

the king’s expression hardens at the response, forehead scrunching up in thought. it’s almost as if the cogs in his brain were visible, really; there they were, churning about what went wrong.

then, a minute later, he picks up the book and begins again.

“are you a -”

not even three syllables leave his parted lips before you press a hand against him, silencing his efforts. they were appreciated, they (honest-to-god!) really were, but it just doesn’t suit him, and you beg with desperate eyes that he gets the memo.

“is my performance… so intolerable?”

“well, it’s not very you.”

his dejection shows in the way his shoulders slump, his stature frigid as his brain goes back to the drawing board. you take it upon yourself to drape arms around him and kiss him on the cheek, but he’s unresponsive, unmoving. a mile-yard stare extending down his study, and his voice strains.

“what do I do with all these books now?”

albert

daisies splatter the meadow in patches here and there, splashes of white and yellow invading the greenery. though small by stein standards, it feels rather endless - though that may be due to the absurd amount of rabbits dotting the field.

you’d been told that it was the closest thing the country had to a petting zoo. correction: a petting zoo that specializes in only rabbits, but still, one nonetheless.

the brown fluff underneath your fingers feels like luxury. soft, light, and smooth, you wonder what kind of haircare products could achieve this sort of texture and sheen. surely, it would involve part intensive care and part good genetics-

“er… excuse me, princess of wysteria, but i am not one of the rabbits.” albert stammers, in that all too familiar, all too judging ‘what are you doing?’ tone of his. he’s part flustered and part annoyed, such a typical albert mood, and it makes you want to tease him more.

and so, hands still tangled in that neat, neat fluff of hair he has, you smile and nod, “yes, albert. i’m very aware of that.”

the sing-song tone makes his face contort into displeasure, and his lips sputter to voice a complaint. silly albert, always so stiff, even when you’re obviously playing games with him.

you sigh and offer him a practiced pout, fingers escaping onto benjamin’s fur. rubbing behind the rabbit’s ears, you coo, eye faking sorrow, “you appreciate my touch, don’t you?”

the bunny stares with wide eyes, innocent and unknowing. burying his nose into your palm, he sniffs, once, twice, and twitches before settling snugly under your attentive fingers, satisfied.

its approval elicits another string of babyish babble from you, and out of the corner of your eyes, albert huffs, giving in to jealously. ha! beaten by a mere bunny rabbit, hm?

scooting closer to you, his knees knock against yours, and the sensation of cold fingers running up your scalp forces a squeal out of you. the knight flushes to his ears, mumbles something incoherent in his bumbling.

“my hair is soft as well, princess.”

you don’t know what shocks you more: the fact that albert’s statement sounds like a complaint, or the fact that he’s acting a bit…. childish.

“really?” your response is mockingly dramatic, spoken to provoke. “I wouldn’t know.”

the shade of red he turns nearly makes you think he invented a new colour.

author’s notes: AHAHAHA (!!) i finally got all of it down…. if anyone’s curious why rayvis isn’t here it’s because i know too little of him to write him, and i fear writing the suitors ooc already… i’ve only done louis/alyn/leo’s routes so i have no idea what’s up with the rest and had to spoil myself

the title is just the alternative spelling to wysteria, which is both the name of the country and that really nice lavender plant. in the victorian language of flowers, its meaning derives from its tendency to cling to walls and grow, thus the flavor text.

pretend this is a celebratory piece for albert’s route coming out since i know i won’t be able to finish a piece for him before then

[theofficefantasyfootball]

WEEK 7 - Wrap Up

HOW YOU BOOIN’?!!

Yes, I know that Halloween won’t be here until next week, but when my daughter showed me this clip the other day, I knew I wouldn’t be able to wait that long to post it.  In it, Wendy Williams (talk show host) has a mild stroke/faints on live TV...and in the background as she falls it says on the screen HOW YOU BOOIN’?  LOL.  She explains in a longer clip that this was not a joke and that she did in fact fall and faint but it was because her costume made her too hot and she passed out!  So, how does this pertain to fantasy football?  Easy.  Guys, fantasy football is suppose to be fun.  Just like dressing up for Halloween is fun.  But, if you take it to serious, if you put on too many layers before you head out the door, you are going to overheat and you will pass out.  This year, I want to encourage you to enjoy fantasy football.  Don’t try so hard that you fall and hit your head on something.  It’s just not worth it.  The season will be over before you know it...for some sooner than others, so please relax and enjoy while you still can!

TREE HUGGERS vs MOOSES ON THE LOOSES

Hold up there Scotty K, not so fast!  You can have first place in the “even” division for 1 week but any more than that is not allowed thanks to The Moose!  And yes, that’s what Mitch wants me to believe.   He want’s me to think that the only reason Scott lost this week was all because of Mitch.  I have the text thread to prove it.  He wanted me to “thank him” for beating Scott.  He practically demanded it.  I reminded him that maybe he won because it was the first week this season that Tree Huggers didn’t break 100 points so maybe that was it.  No, he wouldn’t hear that.  He insisted that I thank him and you know what...I did.  I said, thank you Mitch for allowing Matt Ryan to get hurt, thank you for making David Johnson watch the game rather than play in it.  And thank you for leaving points on your bench by not playing Ekeler against the Titans.  If it wasn’t for you, I would not be where I am today.  Literally.  Sorry Scott.  I guess it’s good to get that one out of the way but hard to do it, like I did, against The Moose!  There’s always next week!

ISUCK vs LONG LEFT BALLERS

Speaking of winning.  I won.  But you know what?  Sometimes winning is sweet and sometimes it’s sour.  This week wasn’t all that sweet, I won 119 - 109 but there was literally a moment with 5 min left in the Dallas game where if Dak would have given the ball to Elliott to run in from the 6 yard line instead of taking it in himself - Bebo would have won by 1 point.  Also, had Bebo done the logical thing and played Marvin Jones instead of Calvin Ridley - he would have not only beat me but had the high point win for the week.  And let’s not forget losing Mahomes early...another reason I won.  So, am I glad I won?  Sure.  That kind of stuff happens to all of us...but I do wish that I could have beat him without knowing that 1 move here or 1 player different there and I would have been on a 2 game losing streak.  So, I guess if I need to thank anyone - it’s not Mitch...it’s Bebo for not having a Tight End to play and for the Marvin Jones debacle.  I will say he did put up an impressive 33 points on defense with the 10 point shut out bonus - which kept the game tight until the end.  Good game Bebo.  Go study!

HOWARD vs FUNK GUY

He’s the current Champion of this league.  He’s 5-2.  He just won high point and made $20.  He’s kind of a big deal.  He’s the “Funk Guy” and let me tell you - he takes fantasy football and this league very serious.  If that first paragraph applies to anyone it’s Dana.  Sometimes he might take it too personal.  If you don’t believe me check the waiver wire transactions and see how active he is.  He played Chase Edmonds just because....who does that...Dana does and Chase put up 38.  He had a great week from Brissett with 35 as well.  Howard on the other hand, how did he prepare?  Well he decided to NOT play Aaron Rodgers who had 53 points and he also played an Inactive Player - Devonte Adams.  You know what playing an inactive player tells me?  That Howard just doesn’t give a shit.  You know?  Who does that...plays a player who isn’t playing and let points sit on your bench.  He could have played AJ Brown.  Nope.  It’s disgusting frankly.  Good win Dana.  I am so sorry that you were matched up against someone who probably won’t even read this.  #neighbor

MR AWESOME vs TuPADRE

I am assuming that everyone in the league knows that Andy and Gabe are pretty much best friends.  They do the high five thing, they live in the trendy 12th South neighborhood together, they both play music...you get it.  So it doesn’t surprise me that this week Andy let Gabe win.  He saw that Gabe had only had 1 win this year...he knows he’s busy with his Taco business and he wanted to do him a solid and give him a win.  I wouldn’t even be surprise if they met about it on one of their long “high five” walks and Andy told him who to play and who to sit.  It also wouldn’t surprise me if Gabe gave him free tacos or Ladybird merch to compensate for the “arrangement”.  I don’t know how  you all feel about this but really I could care less.  Let them have their secret deals and shady backdoor football games.  I am going to focus on me and let them focus on them.  “Congrats Gabe” (wink wink)...good win!

BOOMER SOONER vs TRADE WITH ME

If anyone needed a win this week it was Stu Jones.  After losing 3 in row - he really really needed it.  Basically ever since he texted me in week 3 about how he is going to make the playoffs - he has lost...week after week after week.  Brett has a least has sprinkled in a win here and there to mask the pain.  Never mind that this match up was a bit like the Titans vs the Chargers (two 2-4 teams) meeting up in a battle to find out who is the worst.  In this case it was Brett Rutledge who came away with that honor- he is the Chargers in this analogy.  I mean there’s really not much to say about this one.  Fournette and Hopkins did what they were suppose to do and everyone else crapped the bed.  Stu left points on his bench but had enough going on in his line up to finish with the win.  To be honest, it’s possible that Lanakila vs Shart N Sweet should get the Minka award, final game still has to be played, but even if that happens I wanted Stu to have this lovely picture of Minka attending what looks like the premier of “Huntwatch” whatever that is...I am assuming it has little to do with Kareem Hunt...but maybe.  Good win Stu.  Brett - back to the trading room.  If you still want to do that deal of Watkins for Hopkins hit me up!

SHART N SWEET vs LANAKILA

Here we go - Lanakila slides into MNF once again looking to grab a win.  If he does - guess what - he will be 6-1 - something no one else in this league is so that will put him in 1st place over all.  When I sat to start writing this paragraph Lanakila was up 103 - 81.  The Patriots Defense is off to a good start and for Kyle - Sony has grabbed a TD and Meyers already has 35 yards - so it should be a good one to watch....

Ok - so once again the Patriots defense come up huge!  With the shut out bonus they grab a total of 43 points for Cliff.  Amazing.  The Patriots D could prove to be the MVP of the year in the NFL.  I know for Cliff they are for sure his MVP. 

Kyle - you had a great night with Sony Michel but it just wasn’t enough.  But once again - you outscored Mahomes with Watson this week - that HAS to feel good.  Good win Cliff - you almost stole the high point away from Dana.  So close!

SURVIVOR

It’s still going...no one lost.  Everyone moves on.