#i will always be exiting pursued by a bear

[britneyshakespeare]

i will never stop thinking about the winter's tale i will always be thinking about the winter's tale i will always be loving the winter's tale

[kcgarashi]

rera calls people older than her senpai but it’s usually senpai (sarcastic, teasing, occasionally a bit mean??) rather than senpai (respectful) because she’s secretly bitter that she’s old by shounen standards

[osmanthus-wine-addiction]

12 Blowbang

Zhongli x Reader / NSFW / Not canon-compliant / Reader is an adventurer / Dark mud doing weird things / Body horror (?) / Reader hallucinates about having a blowbang with her crush and it somehow turns into a live show for Zhongli / Trust me, it makes sense lol

You coughed uncontrollably as the heavy dust settled. Parts of the domain had already collapsed by the time you had entered it. You should've thought twice about continuing the expedition then, but the two of you had already come too far to turn back now.

"Did you see that?" You asked Zhongli.

Either you were hallucinating now, or something really had moved up ahead. You turned around, expecting to find the Wangsheng consultant right behind you.

"Zhongli?" You called out to him.

Nothing answered you but resounding echoes of your own voice. You drew in a shaky breath. Great. Somehow, you had managed to get separated from your companion in this underground labyrinth.

The narrow passageways were illuminated by wall sconces that emitted a pale blue glow. You removed one of the torches from their mounts to take with you in case you entered an area without ample light. Every so often, a puddle of strange black sludge would appear in your path and you would have to carefully maneuver around it. The stench and popping noises made your skin crawl. Upon observation, the mud seemed to boil and drink in any light that came near, including the stone torch in your hand. It didn't take a genius to figure out that you should not let that stuff touch your skin.

This was not your first time exploring the Dunyu ruins. As a seasoned Adventurer, you were well aware of the dangers that lurked in places like these. Rather than fear and avoidance, your passion for exploring the unknown always persevered. As your good friend Zhiqiong used to say, it's a personal choice. You could stay in the city, get a mundane job and live in safety and monotony, or you could pursue the secrets of the world and bear witness to sights that few have the courage to find.

Zhongli was someone you never expected would join you on an expedition, but his knowledge on the mysterious Dunyu Ruins proved invaluable to you. He possessed a vision also, so up until you got separated from him, you had never felt safer down here.

The familiar sound of bubbling drifted into your ears, signifying another puddle of mud up ahead. The smell was concentrated, meaning this one was larger than the others you had encountered. You held up your torch, only for it to immediately dim. In panic, you pulled it back quickly. The brief light revealed that the passage in front of you was completely covered in black sludge. You had two choices, turn back or walk through it.

With a heavy heart, you turned around. Suddenly, a hissing sound emited from the ground. The light of your torch dimmed even more. While you were preoccupied with the sludge ahead, a puddle had formed right behind you, cutting off your exit. A wave of nausea came over you as you hurriedly made your way over the inky sludge. Your torch was almost completely dead by the time you cleared the distance. Luckily, you made it back far enough to where the wall sconces were still brightly lit. Without delay, you swapped out your dim torch for a bright one and continued back the way you had come in search of your companion.

"Zhongli?" You shouted, a bit of shakiness tainting your voice. "Can you hear me?"

The more you shouted, the more you inhaled whatever questionable gases were permeating the air. Another bout of sizzling met your ears. You had stepped into another puddle. They seemed to be popping up everywhere now, as if actively attempting to corner you.

You turned a corner, then another. Head spinning and face burning with an unnatural flush, you finally stumbled into a large open cavern. An enormous pool of black sludge covered half of the ground. At the edge stood a familiar figure.

"Zhongli? Archons… I finally found you!"

You ran up to him and threw your arms around him from behind, so relieved that you forgot that you and Zhongli were only mere acquaintances. Truth was, you were one of the handsome consultant's many admirers. When he offered to accompany you, your heart nearly leapt out of your chest. It wasn't like you never imagined getting trapped in a domain with your crush like a scene from one of the Inazuman light novels you indulged in from time to time. You just never actually considered something like this could actually happen to you.

The vapors rising from the sludge made your head swim. Zhongli was surprisingly unfazed by the effects of the black substance. Fortunately, your senses weren't completely silenced. A cold draft rippled through your body and intense bubbling met your ears. You shuttered, looking down. You didn't even realize the lamp in your hand had fallen into the mud. Your feet were glued in place, legs covered in the inky substance all the way up to your knees.

All of a sudden, you could feel another presence behind you. A third figure had materialized out of nowhere. There was not nearly enough light for you to see who these other individuals were. Three pairs of glowing amber eyes stared down at you all at once. One of the figures even had a pair of horns sprouting from his head.

"Zhongli? What's going on?" You asked in a small voice.

Your companion had not uttered a single word since you reunited with him. He looked right into your eyes, gaze hallow, apathetic even. You trembled under the unwavering stare. A bottomless abyss beckoned to you, waiting to swallow you whole.

The black sludge had already soaked into your skirt. Everywhere it touched, your skin tingled. Fogginess invaded your mind again and your breathing grew heavier by the second. Zhongli placed a hand on your face. The sensation came with a wet coldness. You stood there in a daze, letting your warmth drain through your skin and into his body. The next thing you knew, cold lips were pressed against yours. The sensation had you shivering. You felt a hand splay across your waist, seeping underneath your shirt. The tingling followed, spreading everywhere you were being touched. In an instant, your senses were overwhelmed and your mind was in disarray. A feverish warmth bloomed within you.

The horned figure pressed against your body from behind, lips descending on your neck. You writhed, letting out a startled gasp. The remaining figure, the hooded one, made his way over to you as well. The faint glow of his golden irises rendered his face visible to you once he was close enough. You turned your head, eyes falling on the horned figure behind you. He too had Zhongli's face.

You heard your name being called, but none of the three figures had opened their lips. Every inch of fabric covering your body had been soaked through by the dark mud. It gradually rearranged your body, bending your knees underneath you. An icy hand grabbed your jaw, forcing your lips to part. Another held your head up by grasping your hair. Your eyelids were sealed shut by cold, wet sludge. It dripped down your face and into your lips.

Something thick and hard slapped against your cheek. You made a muffled sound as the object was shoved into your mouth. It throbbed as you begrudgingly sucked on it, resulting in an explosion of wet and cold liquid spilling down your throat. You choked on the unexpected sensation, throat convulsing uncontrollably. The object was finally pulled out, allowing you to draw breath just before another was shoved in its place. The lack of light made it impossible for you to make out what it was you were taking into your mouth, but each one was larger than the last. You moaned helplessly as your mouth was stuffed full and pumped with a fresh load of whatever it was you've been swallowing. It didn't taste like anything you've ever had, cold and unsettling. You struggled not to gag as your throat was being invaded. The heat in your body had not dispersed, getting more intense as your mouth was used repeatedly, without any regard or rest.

A whimper emitted from your lips, currently wrapped around a large shaft. Shallow ribs dug into the inside of your mouth and throat. The sensation was undeniably erotic. By now, you could already tell what it was you were sucking on. A feverish blush spread over your cheeks.

How was this even happening? So many things were wrong with this scenerio. The gentle and reserved consultant you knew would never do such obscene acts to you. So all of this must somehow be happening within your own head. You were the one subconsciously asking to be treated this way. Why were you seeing three of him though? And how were you conjuring him in clothing you had never seen him in before? None of this made any sense to you, especially that one version of him with horns sprouting from his head. That could not have actually been the consultant. Even if you had fallen into the clutches of hallucination, your respect and admiration for your companion helped you to retain a shred of your consciousness.

You choked on yet another mouthful of cum, but the coldness had you suspecting it was anything but that. The inky substance covering your body had a similar temperature and consistency. How much of it had you swallowed?

A concerned voice called out your name from somewhere above you.

You moaned weakly. The sludge covering your lips and tongue prevented you from forming any coherent words.

"My dear, this is not good… If you can hear me, follow my voice."

Reality and hallucination blended at the edges. Your heart beat with renewed strength. You breathed heavily, summoning the willpower to push away the hands that had your body pinned to the ground. It was a desperate struggle, since your captor was a formless pool of liquid that sought to infiltrate you through every hole and crevice it could access. As you crawled in the direction of the voice, the sludge seemed to have grown a mind of its own, pursuing you like a predator stalking its escaping prey.

"That's it. Just a little further, dear." The voice guides you with an assuredness that defies all your fears.

You reach out, but as soon as you raised your hand, several cold and wet hands emerge from the sludge and pull it down. Even now, you could feel if trying to enter you through your lips. You felt around blindly with your hands, searching desperately for the source of the voice. The closer you got, the more familiar it sounded.

"My hand is right in front of you. Take it."

Zhongli? You could hear him clearly now. The deep and comforting sound of his voice filled you with hope. Your hand caught his and for the first time in a while, you felt something that was neither wet or cold. With a heave, he tugged your entire body out of the black sludge, droplets scattering in the air like loose beads. The wet blindfold over your eyes snapped, disintegrating as it fell. You collapsed on the ground beside Zhongli, vomiting and coughing up the bits you had ingested. The edge of the sludge had retreated, as if sulking from the defeat. It left behind a clearing with dry stone between you and the exit.

"How are you feeling, dear? That must've been quite frightening, wasn't it?" Zhongli comforted you, stroking your back as you threw up everything you had swallowed.

Frightening yes, you thought, but there was also an element of indulgence that you were hesitant to share with your oblivious companion. He would be disgusted with you if he found out what exactly was going on inside your head while the sludge was trying to take you. You couldn't even say you put up a fight. It was as if the sludge could read your mind, presenting itself in a recognizeable form, Zhongli in your case, and manifesting a scenario where you would willingly give up all resistance. It just so happened you had a crush on your companion, found him undeniably attractive and couldn't help imagining certain things happening between the two of you in these dark and unpredictable places.

"I'm fine now." You panted, catching your breath now that you had the chance.

"I was afraid I had found you too late. Here, put this on." He shrugged off his coat and handed it to you.

It was only then that you glanced down at your own body and realized the state of your clothes. The sludge must've had a corrosive affect on the fabric. Whole stretches had been eaten through, leaving patches of skin exposed. There were faint burn marks on some areas of your body, mostly your legs since they had been submerged the longest.

"Thank you." You wrapped the coat around your body tightly. "Did you see anything when you got here? Or was everything I saw just my imagination?"

It took every drop of your willpower to ask this one question. You held your breath as you waited on his answer, which would either make you wish you had actually been swallowed up by the sludge or relieved he got to you in time.

An unreadable expression settled briefly over Zhongli's face. He coughed unnaturally, something he only did when he struggled to express the words he wanted to say.

The bottom fell from your stomach.

"The dark mud that flows through these ruins is more potent compared to that which is found in the Chasm due to its distance from the Celestial Nail. Without the nail to supress the abyssal corruption here, it may take on certain forms in order to lure in potential victims so that it may grow…"

Your face had gotten even redder in the time he took to give that explanation. "So it's all just abyssal corruption… It wasn't actually real, right? You didn't actually see anything, did you?"

"I…" Zhongli drew in a shallow breath, suddenly unable to look you in the eye. A rare flush dusted his cheeks. "I did indeed."

You fell silent as your greatest fear was proven true.

"Oozing concretions will sometimes assume physical form in order to propagate and absorb energy. What you experienced was a mere projection of the knowledge it had assimilated from your mind as well as those it had gathered from before you. That includes mines as well…" He spoke calmly, but his words were anything but calming.

"It got you too?" You asked, momentarily distracted from your own embarrassment.

Zhongli nodded. "I suspected there was a substantial amount of abyssal corruption here so I had done some observations by myself prior to this excursion. Unfortunately, I had stepped into the mud while fighting off some enemies and as a result of that mishap, left behind some remnants of my memory. The other appearances of me that you did not recognize were all forms I had taken in the past. There is much I have not told you about myself. If you care to know more, I can tell you, but here is certainly not the place."

You agreed, leaving behind the dark mud that had nearly swallowed you. It was already dark out when you exited the underground ruins. The shadows hid the uncertainty on your face. Your heart hammered away inside your ribcage with every step you took beside Zhongli. Your fingers folded incessantly against each other inside your sleeves.

His words confirmed that he had seen all the things you had, including what his projections had been doing to you before he intervened and dragged you out. How was he still walking beside you with that soft smile on his lips? Didn't he find what he saw disturbing and disrespectful? Your confusion was warranted. He was acting like he didn't mind you having sexual fantasies about him.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." You uttered under your breath. "Let's pretend we don't known each other if it makes things too uncomfortable."

He stole a glance at you, sighing. "When you invited me to join you on this trip, I presumed that you were ready… I was glad. Do you truly not see the possibility, even after all that has happened between us today?"

Your breath caught in your throat, ears ringing with the words that had just come out of Zhongli's mouth. Can you imagine being with him? Of course, you could imagine him in all sorts of ways. That's all you ever did, imagine it. Zhongli, as your lover? In all your years of knowing this man, he never struck you as someone who was looking for a romantic relationship. You even teased him for having a rock for a heart, despite how kind and personable he had always been to you and all those around him.

"It worries me every time you venture off into such places." His hand brushes against yours, enveloping it firmly in his grasp. "You prefer to travel alone. As so, I cannot be certain that you made it back safely until I see you in person. Each time you return, you bring stories of what you had experienced while away."

"You're a good listener." You remarked.

Zhongli enjoyed listening to stories just as much as he loved telling them. That was how the two of you had gotten along so well. His stories inspired you and yours were equally compelling to him. Between the two of you, there were endless conversations to be had.

"I would much rather witness these stories first-hand. If you would allow me to, that is." He drew in a heavy breath. The grip around your hand tightened. "I can't help but fear that something would happen, like today. It would forever rob me of the chance…"

"Zhongli, I…" You were too flustered to even begin stringing together your scattered thoughts.

Zhongli's free hand rose up to cup your cheek. You sucked in an unsteady breath, heart beating rapidly with his every word. The touch was gentle, careful as if he was afraid of spooking you. His face hovered over yours, breath tickling your nose.

"I cannot be satisfied being a simple acquaintance to you." He confessed, lips a mere whisper from yours. "Being a friend will not do it either. Do you understand?"

Your eyes fluttered shut as you nodded. His lips descended on yours, pressing into them with unexpected fervency. Your breaths dissolved into sighs, lips melting into his. It was nothing like the kiss you experienced back in the ruins with his projection. His lips were warm and soft against yours. Even though you could taste a hint of urgency in them, it caused your chest to tighten with a satisfying ache.

Zhongli held you firmly in place with a hand at the small of your back. His lips caressed yours slowly, drawing them between his own and sucking on them gently in an almost deliberate show of restraint. Your knees grew weak as the seconds turned into minutes. He finally released you after you let out a little whine, pushing at his chest.

He chuckled, seeing how breathless you were from a mere kiss.

"You trying to suffocate me?" You pouted, face flushed with an alluring dash of pink.

"It would take something else to do that." He replied without a drop of sarcasm. "Come to think of it, you have quite the wild imagination, darling. If I did not see it with my own eyes, I would never believe it."

Zhongli's thumb brushed against your puffy bottom lip, which had received most of his attention. His eyes darkened at the vivid memory of what these sweet lips of yours had been doing when he found you. He had only ever dared to picture them pouting and smiling at him while in conversation, so seeing you on your knees with your mouth stuffed full of his cocks was nothing short of bizarre. Even after emerging from the domain, he was still having trouble wrapping his mind around what he had seen. How would he go about seeing you this often if that image would surface in his mind without warning?

While he was undoubtedly glad to have witnessed that scene, since it banished all doubts in his mind of you merely wanting to keep things platonic, he also wished he hadn't seen it. To have such an intimate fantasy of yours revealed to him, you must've been humiliated.

"Why, are you intimidated?" You challenged with a giggle. "I'm not easy to satisfy."

He hummed in approval. It looked like the kiss had helped you get over the initial embarrassment quite well. If you could accept his proposal of becoming closer than friends, then what had happened in the domain today would be less of a thorn between the two of you.

"Why would I be, hmm? If you wish to reenact such a performance, I can oblige. Perhaps it's still a bit too soon, but I can make that promise nonetheless."

"You're not human, are you, Zhongli?" You asked warily, recalling that one of his projections took the form of a horned adeptus.

Zhongli nodded. "That is correct."

You sucked in a breath, mind drifting back to how different that particular version of him was from the Zhongli standing in front of you this very moment. For one, he was much taller and possessed a long scaly tail and glowing amber horns. More specifically, he was rather unique down there in a way that made your heart race and your face flush. You had always been an adventurous soul, in all matters of speaking. Bedroom activities were no exception.

"How accurate is the mud?" You asked him.

Zhongli's eyes glowed with simmering intensity. "I suppose you can find out when the time comes."

[ekjohnston]

Exit, Pursued By A Bear was always going to be my statistical outlier book. People love it so much. It moves them. It makes them feel like things will be okay. Until tomorrow, it's my only contemporary book, yet it remains the most fantasy thing I've ever written.

Pretty Furious isn't like that. I mean, I hope people love it, but it's not as simple as EXIT was. If EXIT is all the easy answers, Pretty Furious is one frustrating question after another, and the girls who are asking don't always get solutions they can work with. It's about being small and knowing the world is a big place. It's about seeing things that are wrong and being told it's not your problem, not that big a deal, or that it's not happening at all. It's wanting to fight and not knowing how. It's about making mistakes so you can learn. It's about finding the tools to grow, and realizing that you can leverage your identity to improve the world.

And it's about friendship. And family. So much family (I do not apologize for the number of characters in this book). It's about the things you try and don't repeat. It's about the things you leave behind and the things you take with you. It's about how you can change even if you decide to stay.

April 16, 2024, bookstores and libraries everywhere, ebook and audiobook too. Stay angry, little Meg. #prettyfurious

[mytheoristavenue]

TMNT Donatello x Reader - Stop Pretending (All 4-1 Febuary)

Summary: Donnie finally confronts you on your ignoring of his feelings.

Warnings: Angst, anti-Valentines day, very short

"Can you drop the act?" The weight in his tone surprised you, having taken a sudden nose dive from the chipper way it had held about it previously.

"What act?" you giggled nervously with a fake smile, clutching the teddy bear he'd given you tightly. "I don't-"

"You knw exactly what I mean, (Y/N)." he reiterated sternly. Truthfully, you did know, but you couldn't bring yourself to admit that. It simply hurt too much. "Just stop pretending."

"I'm not pretending to do anything." you defended, still smiling, something that seemed to offend him to an otherworldly degree. "Honestly, I'm confused."

"No, you're not." he spat hatefully, beginning to turn his back on you. "You just don't wanna face me, that's it."

"Don, I really don't care for your tone." you informed, crossing your arms, the bear now being carelessly dangled form your hand. "I don't appreciate being accused of anything, let alone whatever this is." Your eyes narrowed as your gaze followed him with rage behind it.

"So you're really going to pretend you have no idea how I’ve felt about you, since the first day we met?” he interrogated. "I'm not stupid, (Y/N), don't treat me like I am."

You puffed your cheeks in frustration, finally tossing the stuffie to the side to place your hands on your hips snarkily. "Well I'm not either! And if you're so smart, you'd think you'd be able to hints!"

"And what hints would those be?" he rolled his eyes, glancing back at you from over his shoulder.

"Oh you know," you began sarcastically. "The kind that might lead you to think you could be pressuring someone into a relationship with you?!" you shouted, breathing heavily from the adrenaline rush. "Or maybe that you're laying it on too thick- that your just scaring away the person you're trying to pursue?!" You sighed, analyzing his expression as shock began to set in. "I need space, Donnie." You confessed, glancing away, now unable to look him in the eye. "I did really like you, but it was always hard to tell if you really wanted me or just wanted me to make April jealous."

For what seemed like the first time in his life, Donnie felt like he could form the words to say. "(Y-Y/N)..."

"Save your breath..." you advised, beginning to walk passed him to exit the lair. "I'm not saying no, Donnie. I'm just saying not right now." He watched as you drew closer to the stairs before momentarily turning back. For a second, his hope that you'd stay was restored, that was before he processed what you'd said.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Don."

Taglist:

@sunshinesdaydream, @helpyaw, @thelaundrybitch, @camillahorne26, @turtle-babe83, @fyreball66, @sharpwindow, @roseygardenfan, @witchofthenorthstar, @pheradream15, @post-apocalyptic-daydream, @killmewithafanfic

[liminalmemories21]

9 Books To Read in 2024

tagged by @jesuisici33. Thank you!

In release date order:

1- Holly Black - The Prisoner's Throne

After the shocking events of The Stolen Heir, Prince Oak is in deeper trouble than ever before. As his situation grows more precarious, Oak is desperate to find a way out, before all of Elfhame is caught in the coming storm.

I love pretty much anything Holly Black writes, but I particularly love the Folk of the Air series. I'm a sucker for a good dark faerie court drama.

2 - K Ancrum - Icarus

Icarus Gallagher is a thief. He steals priceless art and replaces it with his father’s impeccable forgeries. For years, one man—the wealthy Mr. Black—has been their target in revenge for his role in the death of Icarus’s mother. To keep their secret, Icarus adheres to his own strict rules to keep people, and feelings, at bay: Don’t let anyone close. Don’t let anyone touch you. And, above all, don’t get caught.

Hi yes, I am predictable.

3 - EK Johnston - Pretty Furious

In the small town of Eganston, Ontario, five good girls have had enough. They’ve experienced the best of what their community has to offer, but they’ve seen the darker side too. Together, they’ve decided that it’s time for a reckoning and that justice is their privilege to give.

If you have not read her earlier novel Exit Pursued by a Bear, go read it. It is so angry, but also so beautifully about healing and friendship.

4 - Leigh Bardugo - The Familiar

Set in the Spanish Golden Age, during a time of high‑stakes political intrigue and glittering wealth, The Familiar follows Luzia, a servant in the household of an impoverished Spanish nobleman who reveals a talent for little miracles. Her social‑climbing mistress demands Luzia use her gifts to win over Madrid’s most powerful players but what begins as simple amusement takes a dangerous turn. Luzia will need to use every bit of her wit and will to survive—even the help of Guillén Santángel, an immortal familiar whose own secrets could prove deadly for them both.

I like most things Leigh Bardugo writes, so curious about this.

5 - Tess Sharpe - The Girl in Question

Four teens. Three henchmen. Two thousand acres of remote forest. One very bad man. And a whole lot of new secrets to unearth. The unmissable, thrilling follow-up to The Girls I've Been.

First go read The Girls I've Been. Then Five Times We Almost Kissed. Then Barb Wire Heart. Tess Sharpe is such a fantastic writer - and the heart of her books is always people making the best choices they can when none of the choices are good or easy. Also, Barb Wire Heart is kind of like if S2 of Justified had been about the women.

6 - Anna-Marie McLemore - Flawless Girls

The Soler sisters are infamous in polite society—brazen, rebellious, and raised by their fashionable grandmother who couldn’t care less about which fork goes where. But their grandmother also knows the standards that two Latina young ladies will be held to, so she secures them two coveted places at the Alarie House, a prominent finishing school that turns out first ladies, princesses, and socialites.

Younger sister Isla is back home within a day. She refuses to become one of the eerily sweet Alarie girls in their prim white dresses. Older sister Renata stays. When she returns months later, she’s unfailingly pleasant, unnervingly polite, and, Isla discovers, possibly murderous. And the same night she returns home, she vanishes.

I will read anything they write. No questions asked. They're books are always so gorgeous and lush.

7 - Kristin Cashore - There is a Door in This Darkness

Wilhelmina Hart is part of the infamous class of 2020. Her high school years began with the election of Donald Trump and they ended with COVID. Now Wilhelmina, like so many of her peers, is in limbo, having deferred college because of the pandemic. Compounding the national trauma of 2016 to 2020, Wilhelmina has wrestled with the devastating loss of one of her three beloved aunts shortly after the 2016 election. This is a loss she felt so keenly that she’s spent the last years deep in her personal depression, only obscured by the seemingly endless waves of national trauma. Now on the cusp on the most consequential election in living memory, Wilhelmina may have found a door in her darkness and perhaps the courage to pass through it, if she can decipher the bizarre messages that keep appearing in her life.

I love Kristin Cashore's Graceling novels, so I'm curious about this.

8 - Jennifer Lynn Barnes - The Grandest Game

Seven tickets. An island of dreams. The chance of a lifetime.

Welcome to the Grandest Game, an annual competition run by billionaire Avery Grambs and the four infamous Hawthorne brothers, whose family fortune she inherited. Designed to give anyone a shot at fame and fortune, this year's game requires one of seven golden tickets to enter. With millions on the line, those seven players will do whatever it takes to win.

Is this series a little silly? Sure. Is it a lot of fun. Yes. Kind of like a grown up Westing Game.

9 - Margaret Owen - Holy Terrors

third book in the Little Thieves series - which on the surface is a heist story about what if the protagonist of the Goose Girl was the servant not the princess. And at it's heart is about recovering from trauma and loss, and learning how to let yourself be someone different. 

tagging @lemonlyman-dotcom, @ladytessa74, and @strandnreyes

[embe95]

You could've asked

Synopsis: Seungmin was jealous, more so than he had ever been. And it ended up resulting in a black eye and almost costing him the woman he loved and a possible friend.

First time writing with Seungmin in mind, this was fun! It started as something completely different and then took a turn, it came out pretty sweet I think. Have a great day! You are amazing <3

Warnings: physical violence (Seungmin gets punched), jealousy, cursing, alcohol consumption, otherwise it's all fluff and love. The AFAB character is an OC, but not a very well defined one especially appearance-wise.

Word count: 2,470

He ran after her as she exited the building, following a proper shouting match with Chan. They'd never fought before, but the situation had grown and festered for what felt like a lifetime. It wasn't true of course, they hadn't even known each other for more than a few months. And they only met because Stevie was in their lives.

It was a beautiful afternoon, Chan and Stevie were having their usual Wednesday date in the cafe by the river. Seungmin had happened to walk by, Stevie stopped him and introduced them. That's all. Then suddenly they hung out in the same group. A lot. Because that's who Stevie was; always wanted to include everyone and have everyone get along. Unfortunately she didn't always have the best eye for who fit together, but Seungmin didn't have the heart to tell her. 

She would've listened and apologized immediately. Been beside herself for the pain she caused, which she didn't have to be because she didn't know. How could she know? There was no way she understood how painful it was for someone who was in love with her to share the same space with someone so close to her so often. They were always sitting so close together, laughing, giving each other little pecks.

Seungmin couldn't blame her, how could he? She was just being her beautiful, caring self. Her heart was what he fell for first and foremost, because it was so obvious to anyone who met her how big and full of love it was.

Chan and Stevie met in high school, at band camp. Chan was multi-talented, singing, playing the guitar, drums and making his own tracks. Stevie played the violin, albeit very well, but it was her one and only brush with music.

Seungmin and Stevie met in college, they were both studying journalism and world cultures. Seungmin had every opportunity to become a doctor (including being extremely smart and diligent), thus following his parents wishes but decided to pursue writing instead. Stevie still played the violin, but the hours spent on writing and research consumed the biggest slice of her life.

Chan was like a fresh summer breeze at the beach, comforting and full of life and adventure. His smile lit up the town, and his kindness and social skills were undefeated. In a word, Chan was wonderful. His producing career had taken off a few years back, and he worked with the top artists in the country while making his own music whenever he had the chance. They reconnected after randomly bumping into each other in the same cafe where they now had their weekly Wednesday date.

Seungmin had the most outrageous sense of humour, and could seem cold when people met him the first time. It was just his way of being shy, but after spending time together he was like a grumpy teddy bear with a brain the size of the Atlantic ocean, interested in every subject and intrigued by new things on the daily. In a word, Seungmin was wonderful.

Seungmin spent most of his time doing research and studying. His minor was international politics and communications, and he'd said multiple times that if given the chance, he'd head off wherever there was military conflict to try and get to the bottom of what is going on in the rubble. He wanted to make a difference with his writing and photos.

As Seungmin searched for Stevie's red rain coat in the midst of all the people celebrating the fact that the weekend had arrived, he couldn't help but beat himself up for exploding. It may have been the beers he'd downed, the crowded space, the way Chan seemed to get all the attention tonight. It felt so unfair, but that was no excuse. 

"Man, what is your problem?" Chan yelled, eyes wide and arms spread. Seungmin had just shoved him after he'd kissed Stevie's cheek.

"Seungmin!"

"You. You are my problem." He couldn't help it, enough was enough.

Chan cocked his head to the side and took a deep breath. Chan was horrified and disappointed in Seungmin, and he never would've imagined Stevie letting someone so narrow-minded get so close to him, or let alone want to be close to him herself.

"You wanna go? Okay, let's go."

"Chan!"

"I do want to fight you, believe me. But this can just as easily be sorted if you just back. the fuck. off."

"Oh? Well, that's too bad, because I have no intention to do that. Unless she tells me to."

"What is going on?"'

"Stevie, you have to choose."

"Dude. Listen."

Seungmin's eyes bored into Stevie's, but he became blurry to her when tears began clouding her vision. Chan grabbed Seungmin's shoulder but he yanked himself away.

"Stevie. Choose. Please, I can't do this anymore."

"Choose what?" Stevie shouted. But looking between the two the "what" struck her like lightning. "N-No, Seungmin, why are you doing this? Chan's-"

"I just told you. I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"Pretend this-" he motioned around to all three of them. "-is okay. It's not. It's torture."

Chan sighed. But it was a sigh of relief. Seungmin wasn't narrow-minded, he was jealous. That would be a hell of a lot easier to sort out.

"Seungmin, listen, I'm-"

"You're so clueless of what you do to me. Or you're not and it's on purpose and you're a worse person than I could've imagined."

"Okay, that's it," Chan forgot the burst of understanding in a heartbeat when Stevie was disrespected. He grabbed the collar of Seungmin's t-shirt with fury boiling his blood, but before the older man's fist collided with his jaw, the door slammed. The two heads, in close proximity to each other, snapped towards the spot Stevie had vacated in a hurry and in tears.

Chan didn't pause for long.

"Listen, you fucking idiot. You don't know what you're talking about. You go and apologize right now. Make it right."

Chan threw a stunned, drunk Seungmin towards the door without a further explanation. If he wasn't drunk he wouldn't have done that, but now the blonde's big brother side came out and somehow overruled his other thoughts of comforting his best friend. His drunk brain figured he'd get Stevie and bring her back upstairs. They'd both explain together. But the two didn't return.

Seungmin sprinted out after haphazardly grabbing his coat, remorse filling him from head to toes.

He knew it wasn't right. And he wanted to apologize if he could just find-

There.

"Stevie!" he called, a few heads turned to gawk at the source of the loud noise. But Stevie's head wasn't one of them. Either she couldn't hear him or she was, for the first time during their friendship, actually pissed at him.

The latter seemed more likely since her pace seemed to pick up. Her house wasn't far, luckily, but unfortunately Seungmin also knew the way by heart, he'd walked her there countless times.

"Stevie, please stop!"

"Hey dude, if she doesn't want to talk you should let her be," a strong hand gripped his chest just as he was at arms length.

"Mind your business," Seungmin spat back and gripped the wrist with his left hand. He wasn't confrontational, just occupied by getting to the girl he loved. But to the drunken gentleman, those were fighting words, and a blink of an eye later Seungmin's eye was in the process of turning purple. 

"Want some more you asshole?"

"Stop!"

Stevie's voice was strong as she gripped Seungmin's shoulders to hold him up.

"Please don't hurt him- again, it's okay, he's my... friend."

"Stevie," Seungmin groaned, one hand covering his throbbing eye.

"You sure?"

"Mhm," Stevie nodded. "Thank you for having my back. I'm Stevie."

"Yeah, I figured. I'm Ollie. Hey man, uh, sorry about the shiner."

Seungmin lifted his head slightly to look at the man whose name was apparently Ollie. Of course Stevie introduced herself, at this point half the city knew her by name surely. He had no strength to argue, and this probably had some karmic intervention type of point. Plus, the guy did think he was harassing Stevie so if it had been anyone else following her he would've thanked him for his service. So yeah, it was fine. But that didn't make the pain any less.

"You've got a mean hook," he grimaced and waved his unoccupied hand. "It's fine, dude, we're cool."

"Come on, let's go to mine."

They walked in silence, Stevie's hands remained around Seungmin's shoulders to steady him. The idiot she was fuming at. But she'd hold an umbrella over his head in the rain no matter how mad he made her. She'd make him soup when he's sick even if she was sick of him. She loved Kim Seungmin. She loved him even if sometimes she didn't like him. In that moment she wondered why the hell she loved him, how she could love someone who would act this way. He had been too perfect for a long time.

At that moment she had to concentrate to hold her tongue and not start telling him off, the Moscow mules in her system swirling and trying to spew out the choice words she had reserved just for him. Hurting her, hurting Chan, what the hell was he thinking?

"Stevie," Seungmin sighed when his back leaned against the elevator wall as they waited for it to climb to the highest floor where her studio dwellings awaited.

"Don't."

Her phone vibrated deep in her pocket. Chan's name lit up the screen, acting as a reminder of what Seungmin had demanded of her. Seungmin scoffed, jealousy raising it's hideous head.

"You won't talk to me but sure, answer when he calls."

She wasn't going to. But she'd be damned if he was allowed to push her around.

"Hey Chan, what is it? Yeah, I'm almost home... Yeah, he caught up to me... I'll talk to you late- what? Yeah, we'll be fine. Can I tell him? Thanks, love you."

Seungmin gulped. 

"Just get home safe, and please tell Jeongin I'm sorry for not hugging him goodbye. And thank him for hosting. And say bye to the girls for me. Thanks... Bye."

The whole time, the entire call, Stevie didn't look away from Seungmin once. His nostrils flared, his one good eye staring right back. The stupid Mexican standoff ended when the elevator doors opened.

"Okay, talk," Stevie tied her hair into a pony and sat down on her favourite spot on the carpet in front of her bed after shoving an ice pack into Seungmin's hands. The injured (both eye and ego) man sat down in front of her, legs close to his chest. The involuntary flinch he made when the ice came into contact with his swollen eye launched a twinge through Stevie's heart and she almost softened. Almost.

"I feel terrible. I'm sorry," Seungmin looked at his knees. He couldn't face her glossy gaze.

"For...?"

"F-For saying you have to choose, and that you might be a horrible person."

"Why did you say that?"

She was torturing him, letting him stew and squirm. He'd acted like an idiot, she figured he shouldn't get out of it so easily.

Seungmin opened and closed his mouth multiple times. Stevie could make out the dark bruise that was forming around his eye. The lamp on her nightstand illuminated half of his face, perfectly highlighting his jaw and the brown strands that framed his face.

"I was mad."

"Because...?"

"Because you love him more than me."

The answer didn't shock her. She wasn't dumb, Seungmin was obviously jealous. Okay, maybe she'd been a little blind about what Seungmin had gone through, but there was an explanation. His jealousy was completely unfounded.

"Untrue," she stated simply. "I love you both, equally. Just... a little differently."

"You say that, but-"

"Chan's gay."

Seungmin turned into a statue.

Chan's... Chan's what? But he was so sure that he... 

"I'm an idiot."

Stevie nodded. "Yeah, but you also didn't know. You couldn't, we didn't tell you, he hasn't been in a relationship in a good while, and we're really close and personal. But it's just our friendship. You could've just asked. He's like my brother. And you... you're not like my brother."

Stevie pulled herself to her knees and tumbled closer to Seungmin, who stared at her with his one good eye. The beautiful dark brown colour was surrounded by long, beautiful lashes. Her eyes flicked to his lips momentarily.

"I can prove it," she smiled and leaned even closer. "If that's okay with you."

He gulped. Then nodded.

"O-Okay."

His breath probably smelled like beer, his lips were dry, there was an ice pack covering his eye, his eye was almost swollen shut, he'd just almost made the woman he was in love with hate him by making her choose between her gay best friend and him. 

But damn it if that wasn't the sweetest, gentlest, greatest kiss of his life.

His mind flashed to all the times she'd complimented him, helped him, touched him. Loved him. All the signs he'd been too blind to see because of his jealousy.

"I'm afraid I'll hurt you again," Seungmin gulped. "I never knew I could be so jealous."

"We'll sort this out. And besides, you were in pain and I didn't even notice," Stevie pouted and softly placed her hand over the one holding the cold plastic over the karmic intervention on his face. He didn't even flinch, but instead sighed with relief. "So we'll work on this dynamic together."

She pecked his lips again.

"Okay?"

"Okay. I'm sorry I didn't ask. And for the shit I said. And for causing a scene."

"I forgive you. But don't you ever, ever threaten people again. And you have to apologize to Chan."

They called Chan together after Seungmin popped some Ibuprofen. Chan laughed on the other end, obviously still drunk.

"Just don't be this dramatic all the time."

Seungmin's chuckle turned into a pained groan, the rise of his cheekbones making the bruise pulse again.

"I think he got the message," Stevie giggled and chucked the ice pack back to Seungmin's extended hand. They ended the call and sat in a comfortable silence. Seungmin was over the moon: the woman he loved wanted to be with him, he hadn't lost her. He could stop feeling inferior and furious towards a guy he actually thought was cool and nice. Maybe they could be friends.

Chan was Seungmin's best man three years later. He'd tried to make Chan choose, but Stevie had bowed out, amused by the turned tables. Her maid of honor was Ella, a girl she met while taking out the trash one autumn evening.

[oops-its-a-fanwork]

Tidbits about the lepom pokémon boys✨️

Just some little things to know about our fav legendary boys, Papyrus and Sans! You can read their home and backstory here!

The pair of brothers are both psychic types, but I'm not entirely sure about their secondary typing. For sans I'm thinking either psychic/normal or psychic/dragon, and for papyrus either psychic/fire or psychic/fighting. The size of their true forms is somewhat small for a legendary, more akin to the size of Latios and Latias: person sized! Actually these two seem to have inspired the boys’ designs in my mind: not too big, somewhat friendly but definitely not an average pokemon!

Interestingly enough, if anyone describes the boys’ human form, the description will always be focused on their personalities and some rough descriptions of their appearance at best. People remember Papyrus being tall and loud, that's for sure! And Sans is definitely a lot smaller! A laid-back dude!  Oh what did he wear yesterday? Good question!  …I don’t remember… … Skin color? Oh yeah he sure had one… Hmmm…  Anyway yesterday Sans pranked the candy store owner with a whoopee cushion??!?-

Papyrus would love to help people train their pokémon! He adores the bond between trainers and their pokémon, and thrives off of their passion and determination! People would ask him about his team when he offers though, and that just gets them a fidgety “oh would you look at the time! It sure seems evident that I am needed to help with market preparations! But perhaps we’ll spar! Next time!”. Then he does an impressive leap into an open window of a random house and he’s gone. What a guy. You can also ask him to help you prepare for beauty contests. He has a very good eye for those, and although his choices are… non-standard, they have a 80% chance of actually being really, really good.

Sans doesn't really care for or about battling, but if you ask him about beauty contests he’ll at least humor you by joining you for prep time. His suggestions are ridiculous and none of it is helpful. He does seem to be enjoying himself though, and if he’s tired enough you can use props and make-up on him to make him look silly “to match his attitude :p”. If anything, prepping with him does make you and your team far less nervous. No judge could ever give you feedback that's more outta left field or ridiculous than he and his brother can, so you can handle anything now!

Papyrus definitely still gets lovingly attacked by dog pokémon all the time. He’s a magnet for them, they love him! His reaction can be best described as “exit, pursued by bear dog”. I mean it doesn't always happen, but they do like to mess with him, so it is also often times the other way around. Don’t try and keep an important conversation with him when there's dog pokémon nearby, because you will be interrupted!

Sans will tell you what your pokémon are thinking/saying unprompted. This tends to feel like he’s doing a bit, but he’s always telling the truth, or at least a half-truth. The bit is that he’s not doing a bit. What a funny guy!

Papyrus' cooking is in an odd position here: if there's a person to supervise and give advice, Papyrus can actually make a few really tasty dishes! However if left alone he doesn't really realize the way certain appliances work, and might experiment with ingredients that only certain pokemon or humans can eat, like uncooked wheat! Or pokemon berries! Or rocks! He’s personally not the biggest fan of rocks, but he has friends who love them! Sans absolutely does not count as supervision by the way. He doesn’t care what is made as long as his bro is happy, and if the kitchen is burned down in the process he’ll probably sleep through it anyway. 

Despite him having the personality of a “dude who has a little truck he hangs out the window from to talk to u”, the only thing people actually see Sans drive are the tricycles he “borrows” from the town kids. Does he do it to entertain them or does he genuinely think they're fun? Hard to tell. The teens in town like to point at silly cars and other vehicles they see and tell each other it's his. He thinks it's hilarious and definitely plays into it.

Sans is the kind of guy who will walk you home at night if you work late shifts, and Papyrus will princess carry you if you are injured, even if it's just a scraped knee. In both cases, enjoy the view!

Most of their rare time away from any people or pokémon is spent either protecting everyone from an evil team or from agitated pokémon from the mountain. The latter tend to be ghost pokémon and pokémon living in harsh conditions, so no one really blames them for being irritable. These pokémon have been acting up far less the past few weeks though. Perhaps something happened?

[newgenog]

REVENGE

Notes: This is STILL NOT part one of chapter seven. For the foreseeable future, this is a teaser zone.

If you're just stumbling across this, and haven't already done so, please stop now, and start by reading chapter one. 

This #Batwoman AU is based on the ABC tv series #Revenge. Ryan Wilder had just about everything taken from her when we met her, and she was doing her best to get it back. In this version of the story, that means taking some people down along the way. And, she's definitely no hero.

Okay, so, I was a no show (for the first time ever) last Friday. Please forgive me, but I had an absence letter from Queen Bey. That's right, instead of writing or talking about my beloved fic, I was dancing my ass off at the Renaissance concert. So, thank you in advance for your forgiveness.

I DO have a sneak peek for you this week (which is super duper draft 1, so words might shift here and there by the time it's posted on A03 - bear with me). And, if life allows, I'm working towards posting this chapter in full by September 1st (which would mean only one more week of teasers for "season one.") Per always, please send me all the writing vibes you've got. Words are coming, but not always quickly, so every bit of wishful thinking helps!

CHAPTER SEVEN SNEAK PEEK

TUESDAY, JULY 11TH, 9:00 PM, RUSSEL TAVAROFF’S CAR

Russel has been sitting in his car for two hours, paralyzed by his thoughts. A little more than twelve hours ago, he’d just finished his second cup of coffee when he was called into Jacob Kane’s office. He took his time explaining everything he’d come up with on Luke Fox, his concerns about Sophie Moore’s conflict of interest, and his speculation on why Luke could be after the Kane family, with evidence in hand. The Commander let him do most of the talking, never really looking at the printouts, but asking the occasional follow up question for clarification. When it seemed Tavaroff had covered everything, the Commander sat back in his seat, and then asked him what his career goals were. Of course, Tavaroff said he’d really appreciated the opportunity to learn from him, and that he hoped to continue doing so. He felt it was an honor to be trusted with the responsibility of interim Lieutenant Commander.

Jacob took the folder of files, and thanked Russel for bringing him up to speed. He said that if he was going to continue taking on new assignments, he’d need to make room on his desk, and asked him to start delegating the things he’d been working on to several people he was reassigning, especially with Tyler being out of commission, and them having trading cases before the accident. So, Tavaroff spent the day doing as he was asked. 

By 4PM, there was a 5PM meeting on his calendar, with Jacob Kane’s office as the location. The agenda stated they’d be discussing next steps. The only next step was for Tavaroff to sign an NDA in exchange for a package, which included his salary for the remainder of the year, his vacation payout, and the cash value of his stock in an exit bonus. Should he choose not to sign and leave quietly, an investigation would need to be initiated, and a psych evaluation completed, with potential disciplinary actions taken that could limit his ability to work in law enforcement again in the future.

The Commander did thank him for his commitment to the organization, and dedication to protecting his family. Unfortunately, his decision to pursue Luke Fox without approval, who was too visible as an executive at his daughter’s company, and as the son of the renowned Lucius Fox, did not demonstrate the kind of judgment that the Commander expected from someone at Tavaroff’s level. He felt a mutual separation was the fairest course of action. 

Upon signing, he was asked to hand over his firearm and badge. Then, he was escorted to his desk, where a box was awaiting him to collect any personal items he’d brought to the office, which needed to be approved to take with him. He didn’t make eye contact with anyone still in the building on his way out, let alone speak to them, because he could feel their eyes casting judgment against him. Embarrassed was simply an inept word for how he felt. 

They did take a look around his car, to make sure he didn’t have anything of theirs laying around that they’d need to confiscate, but they really relied on the NDA to protect them. The truth was, they weren’t above more permanent forms of termination if they felt like a prior employee posed a security threat. There were very few examples of anyone taking such a risk that required mitigation, but in the rare occasion, those people managed to have surprisingly coincidental incidents occur that made them a non-issue. 

When Tavaroff arrived home around 6PM, he’d changed out of his suit and tie, taken a shower, drank a beer, and then noticed a folder he’d left on his kitchen table. He walked over to it, and saw a few printed pictures that he’d been meaning to come back to and analyze with more intention, but he’d lost track of the idea. There were two high school yearbook photos: one for Sophie Moore, and one for the girl two grades younger, Angelique Martin. And then there was a third image of Angelique bartending at O’Mally’s during some sort of holiday party. 

He closed the folder, frustrated with himself. He didn’t work for them anymore, so these people's stories shouldn’t matter. He’d dedicated years of his life to a company that turned its back on him when he was trying to protect them. The compulsion to break away led him to put on his shoes, and head out the door, in his basketball shorts and tshirt. 

He’d gotten into his car, and didn’t know where to go. He didn’t know who to call. He didn’t know what he’d say to them if he did call. So he just sat, waiting for an idea to materialize. Instead, the only thoughts he was berated with were rehashings of how these people could ruin life as he knew it. Sure, this wasn’t the only thing he had going, but so much of who he was tied back to his role at The Crows. 

Now, two hours later, he’s tired of sitting. He needs to do something. He needs answers, and to take his control back. He decides to pick up where Tyler left off.

~~~~~

To be continued...

I really appreciate every comment, heart, and reblog. Kudos and comments on A03 too. These words don't always flow easily, and all of it pushes me to write on the hard days. It helps to know y'all are still with me. So THANK YOU, seriously! Follow #SaveBatwoman on all socials please! Support the Writer and Actor strikes. #wgastrike #sagaftrastrike #StopCancellingDiverseShows

[bookcub]

march wrap up

I always feel like i haven’t read much but this actually is a decent amount of books so idk what im on about

hearts unbroken by cynthia leitich smith

this was a decent ya contemporary novel. i read this because i loved the author's retelling of peter pan. this was not a retelling of wizard of oz but good commentary on the racism in it. a little forgettable and the plot was a little busy. i liked the romance, it was sweet. i liked the mc's personal journey.

overall grade: B-

in the dream house by carmen maria machado

this is a devastating and beautiful memoir about queer domestic abuse and personal growth. i was enthralled with the creative writing, it was often deeply horrifying. i read this for a book club and it was one of the best book club experiences i have had.

overall grade: A+

a merry little meet cute by julie murphy and sierra simone

a fun romance where a porn star and former boybander meet and fall in love. both of them are bisexual and it's sweet and fast paced.

overall grade: B

little thieves by margaret owen

one of my new favorite books. im a sucker for a fairy tale retelling done well, but it's also a heist novel and there's ace rep. it was a wild ride with beautiful illustrations and mini stories within. vanya is a fantastic protagonist and i adore her. im so excited for the next book, i have already preordered the next one!

overall grade: A+

shipped wreck by olivia dade

i liked the first two better. i didn't read it closely. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

overall grade: n/a

the goose girl by shannon hale

i wish i read this when i was younger. unfortunately my ideologies are different so it was less enjoyable as an adult. a very faithful and fleshed out retelling.

overall grade: B-

aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe by benjarmin alire saenz

oh this book is lovely, so lovely. i was worried it wouldn't hold up to my memory but it did! i loved reading it for class, although the discussions were. . . shortsided imo that has nothing to do with the book. beautifully written and very emotional.

overall grade: A

exit pursued by bear by ek johnston

what really stood out to me in this book was the support system for people coping with a traumatic event. i read this because i was compiling a list of ya books about sexual assault and this caught my eye because of the shakespeare references.

overall grade: B

make a scene by mimi grace

it's fine but . . .. dnf ultimately.

every heart a doorway by seanan mcguire

reread and it was fun to go back to.

[ekjohnston]

i read exit, pursued by a bear in high school at a time when i desperately needed it. the winter’s tale is my favorite shakespeare play and i studied it extensively during my theatre degree, and EPBaB is without question my favorite retelling of it. my copy has been passed around so many times it’s starting to fall apart. thank you so much.

EXIT has such a special place in my heart. I am always glad to hear from readers who found it when they needed to.

(Also, uh, PRETTY FURIOUS is very much its spiritual successor, if you're still in the market for reading books.)

[all-for-geek]

I Lost You Once - Chapter Four: An Unlikely Alliance

Chapter 3

Chapter 5

Word Count: 1503

Fandom: Alex Bale/Don’t Feed The Muse

Summary: A look back on that fateful night Kim left Happy Meat Farms. And the package she stole that would change everything.

Seven Years Ago

Kim continued to sprint down the halls of the HMF offices. She could feel the creatures close behind. Every so often, she could see their tendrils creeping along the walls in the corner of her eyes. She didn’t know what was going on (with her, Ramona, or the company), but she knew that if she stopped, or even slowed down, it would be the last thing she ever did.

At this point she didn’t even know where she was running to. She always preferred to be on the ground-floor at the farm, only going to the office when she was explicitly needed. The hallways twisted and turned, and Kim’s adrenaline was pumping so high that she wasn’t sure if she could have gotten her bearings even if she did know where in the building she was.

She rounded a corner and, mercifully, found a sign for stairs at the end of the hall. At least now she could make her way down to the ground floor where her car was. Kim flew down the steps two or three at a time, only going one-by-one when she felt her feet about to go out from underneath her. The creatures began to draw farther and farther behind her. She heard a couple grunt and their movement stopped entirely. She could only hope that they got stuck in the stairwell. For the first time, Kim felt a surge of hope rise up.

When she reached the ground floor, she was still lost. Not wanting to lose the headstart she’d gained, she would briefly glimpse into rooms and continue to make her way down the hallway. She slowed as one doorway caught her eye. Inside was a dimly lit room reeking of raw meat. The only thing inside the room was a metal box segmented into three parts. Something… drew Kim into this room. She couldn’t explain what, but as soon as she looked into the box, she wished she had kept walking.

A collection of black, gooey orbs were sorted inside. The majority of the orbs were in the middle box labeled “Done” with a couple orbs in the left box labeled “Re-Bake”. There was only one orb in the right box, labeled “Over Baked”, which was pulsing red unlike the black ones around it.

There was a commotion farther down the hall by the stairwell. Whatever had kept those creatures from pursuing Kim wasn’t there anymore. Without thinking, Kim grabbed one of the orbs from the “Under Baked” pile and ran out of the door.

The setting sun glared in Kim’s face as she ran out of the exit. She was on the opposite side of the building as she came in, but at least she was out. She found her car right as the creatures reappeared in view. She slammed on the gas pedal and sped away. 

With the creatures fading away behind her, Kim focused her attention on the road and the black orb sitting in her purse. She wasn’t entirely sure what it was, but maybe it was something she could use to expose Happy Meat Farms and the things inside. Maybe it could be leverage to ensure that they don’t come near her ever again. She wasn’t sure how either of those scenarios would play out, but she would find a use for…whatever it was in her passenger seat.

Two Weeks Later

It was one of those things. Because of course it was one of those things. One of the creatures that had plagued Kim’s nightmare everyday for two weeks, the ones that had nearly killed her, was in her attic. She paced around the living room in a frazzled state of packing and eyeing the rope she had used to tie the trapdoor shut. She would simply run away. She’d find a new place with a new job and new name. Identity fraud might not be as easy a second time, but Kim would figure it out. 

She gathered the few things she had into a bag and fumbled in her pocket for her keys as she walked towards the front door. A smokey black tendril inched over the door frame. Kim felt her heart stop as she turned and was face-to-face with the creature.

It’s shiny eyes bored into Kim’s. The two entered into a staring contest of sorts. Kim wanted desperately to reach for the gun she had just bought in her pocket, but she eyed the trapdoor to the attic. The rope hung limply on the open door. The perfectly intact door. This thing untied the rope from the attic door from the other side of it. Without her even noticing. The only reason Kim wasn’t dead was because, for some reason, this thing wasn’t attacking her.

A bottle rolled to Kim’s feet. A quick glance down showed her that there was a piece of paper inside. Slowly, she crouched down to pick up the bottle. Her eyes didn’t leave the creature until the bottle was uncorked and the paper unfurled in her hand.

                                                       Hello

Kim’s eyes returned to the creature, her eyebrows furrowed. She opened her mouth to speak but all that came out was a crackly, guttural sound. She wasn’t sure whether this was because her mouth had suddenly become extremely dry or because she had no idea how to even respond to the message. 

The creature seemed to be waiting patiently. The tentacle that had blocked the door had receded back to the rest of its body. Its black eyes were big and round with anticipation. Its mouth was pressed into a tense frown, hiding the rows of teeth that had haunted Kim’s nightmares. It almost reminded her of her little cousin. He had the expression on his face whenever new people came over. That child-like expression stopped Kim from running right then and there. Instead, she finally got her mouth to work and responded.

“Um…hi.”

The creature’s eyes widened. It began to look frantically around the room until it spotted a pen and noted sitting on the coffee table. It began to scribble something onto the paper. Kim didn’t know what was more impressive: that it was able to write without a proper hand or that it already knew English. 

The creature clicked the pen off and ripped the page out the notepad. It gently slid it back over to Kim.

                                         I don’t want to hurt you

Kim was getting more confused by the second.

“Okay…what do you want?”

The creature manically scribbled on the notepad once more.

                                          Somewhere to stay

“Why do you have to stay here?” Kim asked a little more aggressively than she would have usually liked. “Why don’t you go run off somewhere else? Or better yet go back to-”

The creature frantically shook its head. It dropped the pen a couple times while attempting to write out an explanation.

                                    Can’t go back. I have no use.

“The hell does that mean?”

                                  I came out wrong brok incomplete

The creature tapped its tentacle where the closest thing to a throat could be. That’s when it clicked in Kim’s head why the creature was writing out a response despite clearly knowing English. She nodded in understanding.

I hatched too soon. If I return, my only purpose will be as food for Mother. I                                      don’t want that to be my life.

Kim stared at the latest message. She didn’t know who or what Mother was, but she understood the rest well enough. In a way, this creature was just as much in hiding as she was. She began to wonder the impossible: could this thing stay with her? Assuming it was telling the truth, it would fare a lot better against the others than Kim would. 

“Okay. If you stayed-IF,” she emphasized as it’s face began to perk up, “What’s the catch?”

The creature cocked its head to the side.

“What are you going to want to stay here?” Kim clarified. 

The creature nodded and passed another note.

I won’t ask for anything I do not need. I can stay in the attic where I am out of sight. All I will ask is for food. Being as my kind are carnivores that                                                               would be

“What kind of meat are you talking about?” Kim asked without finishing the note. With her back to the door, she began to subtly search for the doorknob with free hand. The creature began to tilt its head again but its eye holes widened as it understood. It quickly scribbled another note.

Human meat is not necessary. The meat your kind buys from food stores                                                    will be enough.

Kim eyed the note and the creature warily. She should run. That would be the smart thing to do. She had no way of trusting this creature, and even if she did, there was no guarantee it being here wouldn’t draw more of its kind to them. The creature slid her one last note. A note that sealed the deal between them for good.

                                                         Please

[garbagefarm]

Mutucule Farm #15

2023-04-07, session #15 of Mutucule Farm, Spring 22–Summer 4, Year 2!

Cast:

Me (@mothmute​)

Belle (@snacco​)

Cam (@amanitaspore​)

Erin (@salamand3rin​)

Highlights include, but are not limited to:

wizard’s on a wizard diet

Shed reorganization! Workbench is real good!

Cam witnesses a mysterious disappearing pig

(they did an internal investigation, but didn’t find anything)

Belle recounts the classist ghost

Marnie says “hay”

Iguanodon looks grumpy

they’re threatening to call chicken protection services on me

Woolface gets renamed to Ruckus

Belle judges Leah for disliking ice cream

she speculates “maybe she’s lactose intolerant?” before remembering that lactose intolerant people love ice cream

Belle finds morals, finally

(when asked to weigh in on this, Cam pleads the fifth)

Belle “put some cheese on for the morning”

Cam’s got baggy pants

Erin ran into traffic on the way to the flower dance

George like “flower? I hardly knew ‘er!”

Sam lies about liking flowers.

Shane drinks the sauce

I never noticed how tight all the bachelors’ pants are during the flower dance

“that’s why they call him bubblebutt Cam”

everybody piles up in my bed

Emily wants to meet Cam in the secret woods!

Robin mails Cam a couple trees worth of wood

Sixth pig is named Captain, but the suggested name “Wortizor” deserves mention

Seventh pig is named Chief, but “Reckardo” is also very good

Belle slams Cam with the Cam-Slammer. apparently this changes his shirt’s color?

Pam wants “potato juice”

Caroline apparently heard and wanted to help, ‘cause she mailed me a potato

can’t romance the ghost (at least, not with that attitude)

Cam forgot his date in the woods with Emily, but it’s okay, she’s still waiting for him

Iguanodon is gonna get you

Erin supplies Belle with some grass

Cam goes on his date! —Exit, pursued by a bear.

Fuck this tree in particular

Belle gets engaged to Sebastian!

Marlon will remember this (pleased with me for killing bats in the mines)

Prismatic shard!!!

Which one is the real Pam?? (see gallery)

One Pam always tells the truth, one Pam always lies...

What’re these trees doing in the desert??

(I probably put them there, to cut them down)

Galaxy sword!!

Erin is sad about a particular tree getting cut down. It was me, I saw a tree and my instincts to kill kicked in

getting a big shed!!

I begrudgingly allow Cam to borrow my straw hat— I earned that hat, this is stolen hat valor!

Erin barely makes it to bed after staying up late planting on Summer 1

Belle wears the Pam shirt to her own wedding

(I’m dressed up for some reason though???)

“But the future looks bright!”

I find a note requesting I meet a bear in the secret woods with some maple syrup

speaking of bears, Belle notices that somebody gave Clint a friend

A discussion of the importance of people having lips

Realizing I can get into chairs like Riker

Erin and I race to water Belle’s cactus while her can is in the shop (I won)

Storage shed is upgraded, and it’s big!

... did you have to put things in those preserves jars right now, when I’m reorganizing again? “yes, it’s a jam emergency. jamergency.”

I go off hunting several trees, and am rewarded with level 10 foraging!

TO-DO:

Potato juice for Pam!

Cam needs a rainy day!

Currently at 7/12 hogs...

Houses, backpacks, tools, barns, coops??

Better fences and pastures

still gotta do some bundles

save up for stardrops

Gallery:

pamquest

Wedding!

group photo at the end!

[versegm]

🦋🪲🐝

🦋 Recommend one or three of your own fics!

Oh baby you know I'm ALWAYS down to talk about my own shit.

I figure you guys already know about my fate fics, so I'll branch out for this one:

Exit, Pursued by a Bear, an Amphibia fanfic. Largely inspired by Horus's own Dresden Files fic (which is also a rec btw.) It's a surreal fic about theaters, cycles, and the line between actor and audience.

Message could not be delivered, a fire emblem (awakening/fates) modern au. Aka "isekais from the pov of the people you leave behind must fucking SUCK my dude."

The Earth, the Sky, and the Sea, a pokemon fic I wrote for a zine centered on in-universe myths and legends. Early pokemon lore is fascinating to me in ways that I can't really put into words, but this fic is masically me exploring what it means to be a god within this world.

🪲 Recommend a great fic centered on your favorite character!

Curses in Names, an Ace Attorney fic centered around Trucy Trucy my girl Trucy my beautiful talented daughter Trucy. Trucy-centric fics are so fucking rare and the people who write Trucy don't write her nearly as schemey as she actually is, so it is a PLEASURE to see a fic that lets this girl be kinda questionable.

🐝 Recommend a fic with great symbolism, or themes, something really clever, or like. just something you could write a whole literary essay about!

ENLaiGHTENMENT: The Best of All Possible Worlds, an Aitsf: Nirvana Initiate fic. For the love of GOD if you've played this game I am begging you on my KNEES to read this I could write an entire fucking essay on this thing it's driving me fucking insane.

[liminalmemories21]

15, 26, & 27 for the book asks :)

#15 - an underrated book

Exit, Pursued by a Bear by EK Johnston - it is the most thoughtful and nuanced aftermath of rape I think I've read

#26 - favorite quote from a book

This is long, so apologies - from Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater

"A secret is a strange thing. There are three kinds of secrets. One is the sort everyone knows about, the sort you need at least two people for. One to keep it. One to never know. The second is a harder kind of secret: one you keep from yourself. Every day, thousands of confessions are kept from their would-be confessors, none of these people knowing that their never-admitted secrets all boil down to the same three words: I am afraid. And then there is the third kind of secret, the most hidden kind. A secret no one knows about. Perhaps it was known once, but was taken to the grave. Or maybe it is a useless mystery, arcane and lonely, unfound because no one ever looked for it. Sometimes, some rare times, a secret stays undiscovered because it is something too big for the mind to hold. It is too strange, too vast, too terrifying to contemplate. All of us have secrets in our lives. We’re keepers or keptfrom, players or played. Secrets and cockroaches — that’s what will be left at the end of it all.”

#27 - a fanfic trope I like seeing in books

I'm always a fan of the fake dating trope.

[hersheysmcboom]

P:s I’m not the one who created this gofundme Pictured above (clockwise):Mohammed, Saeb, Naya, Selen.

Hi,

I’m Maaria from Manchester,UK. For nearly 5 months I’ve been raising funds locally to support the families of the children pictured above. With the situation in Gaza ongoing and getting worse,the funds are just not enough. I’m now asking for help from you so these families can buy basic essentials necessary for survival- food,clean water,hygiene products,formula milk and nappies- and to help them raise some funds to pay for exit fees to Egypt,should they wish.

Abdal Karim and Lana have a two month old baby girl called Selen.

Ahmed and Niveen have a 6 year old daughter, Naya, who suffers with Spina Bifida.

Muhammad Al Masri, who is displaced with 30 family members including many children, suffers from Scoliosis.

Please support them by donating and sharing with all of your contacts. Sharing can really boost donations. Funds raised will be split between the families and sent to them personally via Western Union, a process that myself and the families have used many times before.

The families’ stories are below, in their own words- please take the time to read them.

Thank you so much for your support

Abdal Karim

My name is Abdalkarim. I grew up in Palestine, where education was always valued as a pathway to a better life. Fueled by this belief, I pursued my passion for computer science and engineering, graduating from university in 2018. The prospect of furthering my studies with a master's degree in India was a dream come true, a testament to years of hard work and dedication.

However, dreams can quickly turn into nightmares. Shortly after embarking on this exciting journey, my family's home was destroyed by Israeli bombs. At that moment, my priorities shifted. As their son, I couldn't bear to leave my family behind in the midst of such devastation. So, I made the difficult decision to return to Palestine, leaving behind my academic pursuits.

Back home, I faced the harsh reality of being overqualified for the available job opportunities. Despite my qualifications, I had to start from scratch, taking on menial jobs to support my family. Yet, amidst the struggle, a ray of hope emerged as I met my wife Lana. Our happiness knew no bounds when Lana became pregnant.

But joy turned to despair as war engulfed our lives once again. Our newly built home was turned into rubble, and the threat of death belongs to our daily life. In the midst of chaos and destruction, Lana gave birth to our beautiful daughter, Selen. Her arrival amidst the horrors of war felt like a miracle—a beacon of hope in our darkest hour.

Yet, our struggles continue. With our home destroyed, basic necessities like food, water, and electricity became luxuries. Every day we fear for our life. Everyday is a battle for survival, a constant fear of the unknown. The future we once dreamed of now feels like another planet, overshadowed by the harsh reality of this genocide.

But amidst the despair, there is a chance for survival. With your generous support, we can escape the horrors of war and seek refuge in Rafah, Egypt. Your donation could mean the difference between life and death for my beloved family.

The most important step for now is to cross the border in Rafah to Egypt. To do so we need 35.000$ for my wife Lana, our baby Selen , myself and my family

Please, help us write a new chapter—one of survival, safety and hope. Your kindness will not be forgotten, and we will be forever grateful for your support in our darkest hours.

Every donation is highly valued and appreciated!

Niveen:

Hello

‏I am Niveen Abu Hadrous from the Gaza Strip, 30years old. A mum for beautiful kid called (Nay)’she is now 7 years old’ ,and I’m an ambitious young lady who was work independent to treat her daughter.My husband Ahmed ,36 years old, an educated man has an MA in Arabic language . We live in the Gaza Strip in difficult living conditions,bombing is everywhere ,there is no electricity, water, good food, we lost our jobs .We were displaced from our home to the city of Rafah and at any moment we could die our lives would simply end.

My lovely daughter Nay has from birth a known case of Spina bifida type 3 ( you can google it) , Nay has troubles in walking that she couldn’t walk long distances so I have to carry her . When we moved and displaced from our house ! We have to carry her walking for more than 4 kilometers to reach a place where we can find any transport helping us !

She needs a surgery in her backbone called Cord Detethering.

‏As humans, we have the right to live peacefully, away from genocide . Me as a mum I pray everyday to protect my daughter, I wish if I could do more for her , if I could take her away from this aggressive war. I've endured 30 years of destruction in Gaza. This genocide is not the first time that has occurred.Childhood disappears in the blink of an eye. In Gaza, sleep is uncertain—waking up is not guaranteed, and returning home is a question mark. The fear of losing a family member looms. We wish this genocide were just a nightmare. Please help us leave Gaza and enter Egypt.

‏Evacuation Costs:$ 5000-$ 8000 per person

‏To pass through the Egyptian border,Plus the expenses after leaving، rent and covering needs...

‏Your contributions will be allocated towards ensuring the safe passage and evacuation for me and my family from Gaza, covering the essential costs associated with their escape from the current perilous situation.

‏Travel Expenses: Your generous contributions will assist in covering essential travel expenses, ensuring the safe journey for me and family to a place of refuge and security.

‏How can you help us:

‏Contribute: Each donation, regardless of size, holds the power to make a meaningful difference in our life.

‏Promote: Help amplify our cause by sharing this fundraiser with your network of friends, family, and on social platforms.

‏Thank you for standing with us during this challenging journey.

Regards

Niveen Abu Hadrous

Muhammad:

Hello friends, I am Muhammad Al-Masry from Gaza, 31 years old.

I ask you to help me, my family, and our children so that we, a family of 30 people, can live

My mother suffers from chronic diseases and needs treatment abroad

I need treatment abroad, and I ask you to look at us with mercy and help us obtain treatment. There is Platinum in my spine. Our house was bombed and currently I cannot move and suffer from severe pain and lack of sleep or movement

We cannot provide treatment or obtain treatment because the hospitals have been bombed