#i went to the catholic coffee shop what did i expect

[gideonisms]

forget the whole hell business "no transitional fossils exist" is the weirdest religious stance I've heard this week

[waveofstars]

FINN LEIGH SULLIVAN: bio + stats.

click here for stats. read below for bio.

traits: sweet, short fuse, affectionate, charming, honorable, loyal, laid back, introspective, extroverted introvert, dedicated, sensitive, jealous, self-deprecating, rowdy

aesthetic: bloody knuckles, blooming flowers, coffee & cigarettes, catholic guilt, new england state of mind, momma’s boy, boxing gloves, soft heart, warm embraces, family values, childhood fears, boston accent, retired house party enthusiast, scrappy boxing, professional cuddler 

tw: abuse, drugs, mention of death

Born and raised in Boston, Massachusetts, Finn Leigh Sullivan grew up in an old modest home that never quite felt like home to him. His mother was a florist, his father worked in construction, and Finn was the first born. Expectations were set on him at a young age by his father who cared more about the bottom of a bottle than his own family. His father had old and lost dreams of one day being a professional boxer, but an injury in his twenties sent him on a different path. The man grew to be bitter, resentful, and had lost any good part of him with that injury. He often pointed out weakness in Finn, always spitting out that he was far too soft to ever be a real man. Finn was a sensitive child who rather spend time curating floral arrangements with his mother, laughing till his sides hurt, and being kind to those around him just like his mother. His father wanted him to follow his long lost dreams and pushed him to get into fighting. The constant verbal abuse eventually led to physical abuse, though the man defended he was only ever trying to toughen him up. Finn’s younger brother Declan rarely got the abuse he endured simply because he was a better example of a man in their father’s eyes. 

Finn grew up broken, but inevitably gained some talent in boxing. He hated it at first, mostly because it was what his father wanted, but then there came this overwhelming urge to prove that he was not soft. He didn’t want to be that broken kid that so many saw him as already, so he fought his way out of that life. He was on the wrestling team in high school and attended just about every house party that went on. Drinking and getting high felt like the easiest thing to do to drown out his home life. Towards the end of high school, he started to become addicted to pills, which ultimately led to him getting kicked off the wrestling team. His father didn’t take too kindly to that news. Finn did his best to finish school with his head down and focused on getting more in shape to pursue boxing professionally. 

The day Finn found some sort of solace was the day his father passed away. He drank his liver away and passed away in that old modest home. It felt awful to admit it, but Finn had been praying for a funeral for quite some time. He asked God for forgiveness every day for not being able to forgive his father on his own. The way his father treated him and his mother were inexcusable. He knew he would never be like that man. Tears fell down his cheeks at his father’s funeral, and he remembered feeling that relief overcome him. It wasn’t long after that Finn had given up the partying and the drugs. To everyone’s surprise, he still continued to pursue boxing professionally. Some days it felt like it was the only thing he was good at. His entire childhood prepared him on how to take a punch. 

Despite the fighter in him, Finn had finally learned to accept his softer side that his father tried to eradicate. Finn was exceptionally affectionate and loved helping others. He eventually moved out of his childhood home, but simply opted for a small apartment just a few blocks away. He had dinner with his mother and brother almost every night he could and spent most of his free time in his mother’s floral shop, tending to patrons and creating pieces for her to sell. He was a lover at heart and not a fighter, but fighting was what he did best. After much training, he started boxing within the city and in the New England area. All of his friends and fellow boxers nicknamed him “Sully”. He was creating a name for himself as an underdog fighter. Even though it was exactly what his father wanted, Finn fought for himself and owed none of his success to his late father. He was living proof that a man can be both rough and soft. 

[bqstqnbruin]

Always be my plus one

Here we go, y'all. We're ignoring that it's 3:30 in the morning but I'm just yeeting the first part of this into the wild and hoping it goes well. Ignore typos, we all know that everything I post is a first draft.

I need to thank @hockeywocs, @chara-hugs, and @zinka8 (WHY CAN't I TAG YOU) and all the anons who have come into my ask box to help me with this! ily all!

WARNING: some description of child birth

Hope you like it!

Series masterlist

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Part 1: Christmas Day and the day after Christmas

The name for Christmas comes from the shortening of “Christ’s Mass,” a traditionally Christian holiday that celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ to the Virgin Mary and Joseph in a manger in Bethlehem. Although the exact date of his birthday is unknown, around the fourth century the Catholic church fixed the date of this celebration to be December 25th. Other religions and belief systems have similar celebrations around the same time, such as the Winter Solstice, or Midwinter. Celebrations include a mixture of pre-Christian, Christian, and non-secular traditions, such as gift giving, completing an Advent Calendar or Advent Wreath, Christmas music, church services, a special meal with family and loved ones, Christmas trees, lights, nativity scenes, and Santa Claus to name a few.

The day after Christmas, known as Boxing Day in some European countries, is traditionally known as a shopping holiday. In America, this is typically the day when people start to return any unwanted Christmas gifts, stock up for next Christmas on items that are marked down on sale, or see friends that they hadn’t been able to see before Christmas.

=============

December 21, 2021

“One fifteen means fifteen minutes before I have to clock in. Fifteen minutes before a twelve-hour shift that I’m not ready for and don’t have enough caffeine for,” Anne muttered to herself, staring at her reflection through her car's rearview mirror. “But, fifteen minutes before getting to do something that I thankfully love, something that I enjoy doing.” No matter how long the shift in front of her, Anne had developed a habit of giving herself a pep talk before she got out of her car. “Whatever happens, you’ve helped someone.”

The last part wasn’t always true, knowing that there was the possibility that something could go wrong that she and the other nurses and doctors wouldn’t be able to fix. Lying to herself that everything was going to be ok was the only want to convince herself to go into the hospital every day. Finally mustering up enough courage to get out of her car, she grabs her bag from the backseat, heading in for yet another long day right before the Christmas holiday.

The maternity ward where Anne worked never ceased to be hectic, the miracle of life happening at least once an hour. No matter how much Anne had studied in nursing school, nothing could have prepared her for the stress that could come from the job, the long hours, the potential for something so right to turn so wrong in a minute, the way nothing can go planned since the baby dictated all, the mess that comes with every birth, or the joy that results from a former patient sending her the occasional picture of a baby she helped deliver as they’re growing up.

“Hey, Tyson, come on!” comes from inside the open doors of the building, Anne not paying attention to who it was coming from, causing her to collide with a stranger, spilling her much-needed coffee all over the both of them.

“Shit,” she says, not looking up from the brown splatter on what should be mint green scrubs. “I am so sorry.”

Standing in front of her was a curly-haired boy, about her age, wearing what she was sure was a Colorado hockey jersey. Beyond that, she had no idea. “No, no, it’s my fault. I wasn’t looking where I was going. Let me buy you another,” he offers, ignoring the persistent calls from his friends to hurry up.

Anne checks her watch: 1:19. “It’s ok. I don’t really have the time, I have to clock in in eleven minutes, and knowing the cafeteria or the vending machines, it would take a lot longer,” she says, trying to get by him. Before he can protest, she gets to the elevator that would bring her to her floor, thankful that it was ready to get her there without her having to wait. The doors start to close, only to be stopped by a hand stuck through them, the curly-haired boy with the coffee stain down the front of him getting on the elevator with her. Anne gives him a confused look, begging him to explain why he was trying to make her late for her shift.

“If you aren’t going to let me buy you one now to make up for it, at least let me see where you work so I can drop one off for you.”

Anne rolls her eyes, unamused by the man in front of her as he attempts to flirt with her. “That would be nice, but the chances of me getting it before it goes cold are slim to none, so you need to suggest something else if you really want to buy me a coffee.”

“Let me get your number so I can buy you one when you aren’t working?” he asks, reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone. 1:25. “I’m Tyson, by the way.”

The elevator dings, signaling that they were on Anne’s floor, opening the door to nurses and doctors running around, expectant fathers who were probably kicked out of the delivery room for making the mom too nervous pacing the halls, grandparents trying to control younger children who had little to no idea what was going on as they waited in the strange building. Anne walks to the backroom to drop her stuff off and clock in, typing her information into the stranger’s phone as he followed her like a puppy, his friend’s texts coming across the top of his screen asking where he went so they could leave.

“I’m Anne, and I’ve got to go,” she tells him, handing back his phone. There was no way he was going to text her, and it’s not like the coffee was that big of a deal to him. She could go to the vending machine down the hall and grab one during her break, or have someone else on their break do it for her if she needed it sooner.

“Can’t wait for our coffee date, Anne,” he says, winking at her before shoving his hands in his pockets and sauntering back down the hallway.

“Who is he?” her coworker, Jess asked, popping up out of nowhere. “He’s hot.”

“In more ways than one, apparently,” Anne jokes, “he’s also wearing my hot coffee on his shirt.”

“You didn’t,” Jess scolds her, turning her around to see the coffee that was spilled down Anne’s own outfit, knowing Anne’s tendency to be a little absent-minded as she gets wrapped up in her own thoughts. “Anne, you did.”

“Not on purpose!”

“DeFormicola?” Anne’s supervisor, Jackson, pops his head into the room just as she was clocking in, “We need you in room 414.”

“Saved by the bell,” Anne teases, walking down the hall to where all the noise was coming from, trying to throw on the appropriate clothing before she went into the room, struggling to get the gloves on as she entered.

“Ok, Erin, we’re going to need you to push,” one of the doctors says, Anne standing behind him as she watched the baby’s head crowning.

This was her favorite part of the job, helping the mother stay calm and trying to make sure that despite the child coming out of her, she was as comfortable as possible. Normally, she would be with the mom as soon as she came in, Erin clearly nervous as to what was going on. They had to be first-time parents, the dad going back and forth to Erin’s side and behind the doctor, looking mortified each time and clearly regretting what he was seeing.

“It’s a boy!” the doctor says, handing the new baby to a breathless Erin.

“A boy! A boy!” the dad yells, going out to the hallway, Erin clearly unamused by whatever antics he was going about.

“Don’t worry, he’s not the first one to do that,” Anne reassures her, knowing that something like that would happen at least five more times during her shift, hearing the father’s voice repeating the phrase. “I’m going to get him cleaned up and then get him right back to you, ok?” Anne asks, reaching for the baby as everyone else around her tries to clean everything else up.

“Be careful with him,” Erin warns, not meaning anything bad by it. She was definitely a first time mother.

“I will be,” Anne tells her, feeling her phone vibrate in her pocket as she does. “So you have a name picked out yet?”

“We were thinking Matthew.”

Anne turns her head, smiling at Erin. “That’s a good name. My older brother is named Matthew.”

Erin smiles at her, the father finally coming back in, clearly overjoyed by the birth of their new baby. Anne hands him back to his parents, Matthew screaming his head off as they get wheeled into another room.

Anne goes over to the desk, sitting down where she was supposed to be for the start of her shift to do paperwork, but the uncertainty in the hour by hour of the schedule was not surprising. She pulls out her phone, ‘Maybe: Tyson’ coming up across her screen.

“He’s already texting me,” she alerts Jess whose head whips away from her computer to look over Anne’s shoulder at what message the mystery man could have sent her.

“He’s horny.”

“Jessica!” she squeals, wishing she was more shocked by what her friend had said. “Why is that always your first reaction to a boy sending a message?”

She shrugs, swiveling back to her own computer, “I’m normally right. What’s he saying?”

“He wants to know when he can buy me coffee.”

“Horny.”

“Enough.”

“You should date him.”

Anne turns to her, clearly unamused by Jess’s need to continue the conversation. “I don’t have to date anyone.”

Jess lets out a long sigh, Anne knowing that she was rolling her eyes. “I’m not saying you have to, I’m saying you should.”

“Ok, I don’t want to date anyone.”

“Oh, come on Anne,” Jess says, getting up and plopping herself on the desk in front of Anne, fiddling with the wire connecting the mouse to the rest of the computer. “You work in a maternity ward where people become parents every day, and you haven’t even thought of finding a man?”

“You don’t have a point,” Anne tells her, not making eye contact with her.

“My point,” Jess says, leaning over to block Anne’s view of her computer screen, “is that you can’t be single forever.”

“Says who?”

“Didn’t you tell me that you were named after the patron saint of the town your grandmothers were from?”

Anne rolls her eyes, knowing where this was going. It was going in the same direction that this conversation always went in when she had it with her mom every single holiday. “All four of us are named after the patron saints of the towns our grandparents are from.”

“St. Anne is the patron saint of child care, grandparents and mothers.”

“She’s also that patron saint of unmarried women, so your argument is invalid, as usual.”

Jess takes in a breath to say something, cut off by Jackson calling for Jess to go into one of the delivery rooms. “Just don’t say no because you think you have to be single,” she advises as she walks away.

Anne leans back in the chair, rubbing her hands over her face. “This is how Christmas is going to go, isn’t it?” she asks herself.

=============

December 25, 2021

The number of cars lining her parent's driveway meant that she was one of the last ones there, but knowing her aunts and uncles, she wasn’t the last one there. Her parents were the ones who did Christmas Day for her dad’s family, Christmas Eve being the anniversary of her mom’s mom’s death, and, on top of that, Teresa doesn’t talk to her family over some argument and grudge being held over their parent's house.

Scanning the cars, she didn’t see the one belonging to her brother Matthew, or his wife, Stephanie. “I’ll just leave Harper’s gifts in the car,” Anne mutters to herself, trying to juggle as many gifts as she could while also balancing the box of pastries her mom asked her to pick up for dessert.

Without a free hand to open the door, Anne did everything she could to ring the doorbell with her elbow, praying that someone would come to open the door before she dropped anything.

Her younger brother, Sebastian, opens the door, a disappointed look on his face. “What the fuck is all this for?” he asks, taking some of the bags from her arms to lighten her load.

“Merry Christmas to you, too,” she remarks, “Yours is still in my car if you’re wondering.”

“Did you have to get gifts for everyone?” he asks, Anne greeting her aunts and uncles on the way to the tree to put everything down for later.

“Well, it’s Hazel’s first Christmas," she explains, referencing their sister's youngest daughter, "So getting her something and not getting the other children something seemed wrong, and then Jessica took me shopping and kept saying things like ‘oh this would be perfect for Lucy,’ or ‘oh don’t have you an aunt who likes mystery novels?’ And everything went downhill from there.”

Sebby groans, walking with Anne back out to her car to retrieve the rest of the gifts, Anne still holding the box of pastries since they hadn’t made it to the kitchen yet. “Please tell me you didn’t get Aunt Lisa that Agatha Christie illustrated novel that the bookstore was selling.”

“Please tell me you didn’t get Aunt Lisa that Agatha Christie illustrated novel the bookstore was selling,” Anne laughs, Sebby nodding his head. “I got a gift receipt.”

“What did you end up getting Matthew?” he asks her. Anne had texted Sebby in panic on Black Friday, coming home from a day of shopping with Lucy that left her without a gift for Lucy’s twin brother.

Grabbing the rest of the gifts and handing them to Sebby, she closes the door to her car and starts to go back inside. “I found this ‘make your own wine’ kit that I think he would like. That way Steph doesn’t have to listen to him complaining about how the stuff she drinks is ‘too sweet.’”

“What about for me?” Sebby asks, nudging Anne with his elbow as they arrange the rest of the gifts in the already mountainous pile under the tree.

“Oh, I knew there was someone I forgot,” she says sarcastically, Sebby ripping the bow off one of her carefully wrapped presents and throwing it at her. “Ok, now I’m never getting you a gift again.”

Sebby laughs, helping his older sister off the ground. The two of them wander into the kitchen, slipping in unnoticed due to the sheer number of family members and noise that was filling the room. “Aunt Anne! Aunt Anne!” Harper and Skylar squeal in unison when her nieces spot her, hoping that either she or Sebby had grabbed Harper, Matthew, and Stephanie’s gifts. She didn’t think there was anything left in her trunk.

“Hey there, fireflies,” Anne greets them, bending down as they both kiss her on the cheek. “Guess what? Santa stopped by my place and left some gifts for you, but he made me promise that you two were really good today if you want to open them after dessert, ok?”

The two girls nod excitedly, bouncing up and down at Anne’s words. To still be young and believe in Santa, that must be nice.

“Hey, ma,” Anne finally finds her mother, putting down the box of pastries in front of her and kissing her on the cheek. “Upstairs or downstairs fridge?”

“It goes downstairs. Come on, I have someone I want you to meet,” her mother says, dragging you away from your aunts that had aggregated around her. They all had excited looks on their faces, something that instantly worried Anne as she followed her mother down the stairs with the box. She could hear Matthew and Lucy’s voices, knowing that her brother and sister’s wife and husband had to be down there with them, too. “Matthew told me about this friend of his who couldn’t make it home for Christmas,” her mother whispers before she got to the last step.

“Mom, no,” Anne says, already knowing where this was heading. “I told you: I don’t need a boyfriend.”

“But I don’t have a grandson,” her mom whines, shaking Anne’s hand in her own against her chest.

“How is that my fault?”

“If you just find a nice boy, and get married, I just know you’re going to be my child that has a boy.”

“Oh my god,” Anne groans, pushing past her to get to the fridge.

Teresa pulls Anne over to the couches where her siblings were, Lucy sitting on one with her feet in Jason’s lap, Jason’s hand lazily rubbing his wife’s shins. Matthew was on the other, Stephanie nuzzled against his shoulder, all four of them with a glass of wine and three bottles open. Next to Matthew was a guy sitting there awkwardly, straightening his back when he saw you while Sebby tried to contain his laughter as he sat on the floor. “Jeremy, this is my youngest daughter, Anne. Anne, this is Jeremy,” she introduces the two of them before running up the stairs.

“I do have a girlfriend, actually,” Jeremy says, “So I’m sorry.”

Anne and her siblings burst out laughing, Lucy pouring her sister a glass of wine. “If only this were the first time Ma tried to set Anne up with a guy who was seeing someone.”

“I even tried to tell her that but she didn’t listen,” Matthew adds. “It’s better than when she tried to set you up with Adam,” he says, referencing Lucy’s partner at their optometry practice.

“Yeah, his husband wasn’t too thrilled by that potential match,” Sebby says.

They all keep talking, Anne just sitting and listening to them reminisce about all the people their parents had tried to set her up within their desperate attempt for her to no longer be single. It didn’t help that the last time she listened to them about dating was Andy, the boy who cheated on her when they got to college. Apparently going to school half an hour from each other wasn’t enough for him to keep up their two-year relationship instead of shoving his tongue down multiple girls throats before doing god only knows what else.

“When do you think they’ll stop trying to set me up with someone?” Anne finally pips in, accidentally cutting off something Jeremy was saying as she stared at the wine she was swirling in the glass.

“When you get a boyfriend,” her siblings say in unison.

“I hate all of you for doing that,” she laughs. “But, seriously, why is it so important that I have a boyfriend?”

“Oh, you know your mother,” Jason says, putting his glass down on the floor. “She saw what Lucy and I had and then wanted that for all her children.”

Lucy playfully shoves him, kissing him as Anne and Sebby groan. “She just wants you to be happy, and to her and dad, happiness is marriage and a family.”

“Where am I going to meet someone if I go to work or here where they try to bring in non-single non-potential suitors?” she asks, looking over at Jeremy. “Sorry.”

He shrugs, not able to get a word in before Matthew starts, “What if you met someone at work like how Steph and I met?”

“Yeah because there are so many single men walking around the maternity ward,” she says, her phone buzzing in front of her. “What about you, though, Seb, how’s Collins?” Anne asks, changing the subject.

“Eh,” he shrugs, his eyes wandering to Anne’s phone screen, “I’m not sure we’re going to last to graduation.”

“What?” Lucy squeals, causing Jason to jump as she threw her legs out of his lap. “I thought you said she was ‘the one’?”

Sebby looks down at his glass, a stupid smirk on his face. “Nah, that changed. She doesn’t want me to go to law school in Boston, she wants me to stay here or move to California with her.”

“But the adventure of moving with your girlfriend to another state!” Matthew offers, Stephanie rolling her eyes.

“Matthew, not everyone needs adventure like you do, hon.”

Anne’s phone buzzes again, a reminder that she had a text waiting for her. Picking it up before Sebby can see who it is, ever the nosy little brother, she sees a message from Tyson popping up as they continue their conversation about Sebby’s love life and Anne’s lack thereof. . They had only been texting for a few days since their encounter at the hospital, but every time his name came up she couldn’t help but smile, lifting the wine glass to her lips to cover it in hopes of her siblings not noticing.

How’s your Christmas been so far?

A simple ‘eh’ as a response was all that she needed to send. It could be worse, but her mom trying to set her up with a guy with a girlfriend was definitely not something that made for a good Christmas. The only thing that could be worse is if their dad came home early from the flight he was on with a guy he picked up in whatever country he had to go to that prompted him to miss the holiday. Normal dads who had to travel would bring their kids back little trinkets or a postcard, but Anne wouldn’t put it past Tony to borderline kidnap someone from the plane he was flying and bring them home for Anne.

Tyson’s contact comes up again, an incoming call that prompted Anne to step away so she could answer it. “What’s up?”

“You said your Christmas was ‘eh.’ What’s going on?”

“It’s a long story,” she groans, pressing her back up against the fridge.

“Well, what if I have something that might make it better?” he flirts.

“Oh? Like what”

“What if I said I’m 100% free to buy you that coffee any time tomorrow, since I know you said you didn’t have work, and you can tell me about Christmas then?”

Anne hears her siblings laugh not ten feet away, praying that they couldn’t hear her conversation. Taking in a deep breath, she knew that her cheeks were turning pink at his words. “Sure, that sounds good. I’ll see you tomorrow?” she asks, walking back over to join her siblings.

“I’ll text you details,” he tells her, hanging up.

“Oh, my god,” Lucy yells, interrupting their conversation. “Anne was talking to a boy.”

“What the hell? What makes you think that?” she asks.

“Your cheeks are red," Lucy says, prompting Anne to raise her hand to feel the heat radiating from her face, "Who else would you be seeing tomorrow?” her sister eggs on, her eyebrow raised since she knew she was right.

Anne tries to find her words, unable to think of a name that wasn’t a guy's name to blurt out.

“Is it Tyson?” Sebby asks, Anne’s unlocked phone in his hand.

“You jackass!” she yells, lunging at her brother to try to get her phone back.

Teresa’s footsteps sound down the stairs, her poking her head between the gap in the stair rail and the steps themselves, Anne and Sebby looking like a deer in headlights when they see their mom. “I was coming to say that dinner was ready, but what’s going on here?”

“Anne has a boy she wasn’t telling us about,” Sebby blabs, earning an ‘I’ll kill you’ look from Anne.

“Oh! Annie!” their mom squeals, running down the stairs to pick her up off the ground and hug her. “Why didn’t you tell us about him?”

“I, uh,” Anne starts, still not sure what to say.

“You have to bring him to New Year’s Day at Uncle Vince’s house,” she tells her, the rest of the siblings following Anne being dragged back up the stairs for dinner, her mom announcing that Anne had a boyfriend when she, in fact, didn’t.

=============

December 26, 2021

“So, are you going to tell me why your Christmas was only ‘eh,’ or am I going to have to guess?” Tyson asks, setting down two cups of coffee in front of them. Tyson had asked Anne to meet him at a small coffee shop that was within walking distance of her apartment, thankful that she didn’t have to drive through Denver on the day where everyone was returning anything unwanted, like her Aunt Lisa returning one of the copies of the Agatha Christie novel that her and Sebby each got her.

Anne groans, the images of last night’s dinner flashing through her mind. “Can we talk about something else, first?”

“Fine,” Tyson says, taking a long sip of the coffee, “What did you get for gifts?”

She raises her eyebrow at him, Tyson mirroring her expression except with a goofy grin on his face. Rolling her eyes, she starts listing off the stuff she got: “My parents got me a new attachment for my KitchenAid stand mixer since my younger brother, Sebby, broke it last time he was over and a voucher for a flight anywhere in the country like they do every year, um, some gift cards from my aunts and uncles, my nieces all did their best attempts at drawing a portrait of me, Sebby told me he was going to come over and make dinner for me, which scares me because he can’t cook, Matthew and his wife got me some books they thought I would like, and Lucy and her husband got me this bracelet,” Anne tells him, extending her arm out to show him.

“I have so many questions,” Tyson starts.

“I might have answers,” Anne tells him, raising her cup to him.

“How big is your family?”

“I’m the third of four, Lucy and Matthew are twins and are about five years older than me, then Sebby is a year younger than me. Lucy has two daughters and Matthew has one. My dad has two brothers; one older, one younger. The older one has three kids, the younger has two and then three grandchildren.”

“Mom’s family?”

Anne looks down at her coffee. “I’m the only one who talks to anyone on that side of the family. My mom and her brother got into a fight when their parents died over what was left to them. My uncle has two daughters and two granddaughters.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, looking between the coffee and Anne.

She shrugs, not really bothered by it at this point. “It’s whatever. I talk to them because I want to, so it’s fine. What other questions do you have, though?”

“The ticket voucher?”

“Yeah,” Anne laughs, ��Our dad is a pilot with Southwest Airlines, so every Christmas they give us a voucher to fly anywhere we want. They say they want to make sure that we take time for ourselves, but I think Dad gets some sort of bonus for every voucher he buys.”

Tyson throws his head back laughing. It wasn’t that funny, but seeing him so happy, Anne couldn’t help but smile back at him. “What about you, what did you get for Christmas?”

“My mom and sister flew down and basically restocked my kitchen for me.”

“Ok, that’s a great present, though,” she says. “Where was your dad?”

The smile from Tyson’s face fades, not looking up at Anne. “I never knew him. My mom and grandmother raised me.”

“Oh, Tyson,” she says, reaching out for his hand. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”

He shrugs, a forced smile on his face. “I wouldn’t trade it for anything, I don’t think. My mom and my grandmother are the reason I am who I am. I wouldn’t give that up or change it.”

The two of them sit there, Anne trying to think about how many times she helped deliver a baby when the father was nowhere to be found. She normally figured they were busy or just not in the delivery room, not being there all together was something she couldn’t even begin to imagine. “But enough about me. Why was your Christmas ‘eh’?”

“My family has it in their heads that I need a boyfriend,” she admits, Tyson smirking at her words. “And my brother saw your texts coming up on my phone and being the asshole that he is, announced that I was texting a boy, so now, I need to find someone to bring with me to my uncle’s house on New Year’s Day that I can pass off as you.”

Tyson gives her a confused look. “Why wouldn’t you just bring me?”

Anne sits there, a shocked look on her face. “Because they think ‘Tyson’ is my boyfriend, and you aren’t?”

“So we pretend. They don’t need to know,” he shrugs, acting like it was no big deal.

“That would never work,” Anne dismisses him.

“Why not? You don’t think I’m a good actor?” Tyson whines, acting insulted at Anne’s words.

She scoffs, “Ok, one, hockey players are never good actors, and two, Sebby or Lucy are bound to figure out that you are not my boyfriend. Sebby wants to be a lawyer so he analyzes everything and Lucy is just this perfect anomaly of a human who would be bound to figure it out.”

“I think I can play your boyfriend for New Year’s Day,” he says, confidence dripping in his voice.

“No, I can’t have you do that.”

The maternity ward where Anne worked never ceased to be hectic, the miracle of life happening at least once an hour. No matter how much Anne had studied in nursing school, nothing could have prepared her for the stress that could come from thhe job, the long hours, the potential for something so right to turn so wrong in a minute, the way nothing can go planned since the baby dictated all, the mess that comes with every birth, or the joy that results from a former patient sending her the occasional picture of a baby she helped deliver as they’re growing up.

[clandonnachaidh]

Light Across The Seas That Severed (Ch3)

AO3

Even after years of friendship, of seeing each other through some of the best and some of the hardest times of their lives, Jamie Fraser would still need to catch his breath at the sight of Claire Beauchamp when she really laughed. With her head thrown back, her whisky eyes would screw shut and she would run her long fingers into her beautiful hair in comedic exasperation.

If watching her laugh was a sight to behold, making her laugh was the best thing in the world.

They were sat across from each other surrounded by a pungent cloud of smoke, both of them situated on plush sofas of green leather that was cracked and worn from use. With each passing minute, Jamie felt like the sofa was beginning to swallow him. He made the mistake of voicing his concern to Claire.

She thought the whole thing was hilarious, obviously, and told him so before taking a bite out of the space cake that she had cut down the middle to share.

“Edibles are stronger, you’ll only need half anyway,” she had said in her matter of fact way that she had, taking charge of the situation from the minute they’d stepped foot in the coffee shop.

Jamie Fraser, being the good catholic boy that he was, had never been inside such a place and he certainly hadn’t experienced anything like the Red Light District that they had just walked through. Of course he had heard of Amsterdam’s relaxed laws when it came to sex work and drugs but seeing it first hand was something entirely different. When he caught sight of the first woman in the window, her long blonde hair tumbling around her bare shoulders, he felt the blush rise to the very tips of his ears as Claire just laughed and dragged him by the hand, deeper into the belly of the beast.

The plan had been for them to spend two days in the city before they said goodbye. Claire was following her heart (which took the shape of one Frank Randall, the same bastard who’d stood her up the night that Jamie and Claire had kissed for the first and only time) to Boston where she’d managed to get a placement in a surgical programme while Frank would teach at Harvard. It had taken everything in Jamie not to break when she told him, the smile that she had plastered on her face not quite reaching her eyes as she surveyed his reaction over her coffee cup. He had swallowed the rising panic in his throat and felt as it soured in his stomach but he managed to calm himself long enough to take a deep breath and tell her the truth — that he was proud of her and he would miss her. He would miss her so much.

Jamie knew that she was lying about not being able to book a more straightforward trip from London to Boston and he strongly suspected that she had orchestrated the two day layover in Amsterdam for the sole purpose of asking if he’d like to join her, a mini break that they both sorely needed after an arduous final year at university. He hadn’t even needed to think about it before he agreed and in the week leading up to it, he had struggled to think of anything but watching her as she wandered around the Rijksmuseum, oblivious to the art hanging on the walls when he had his own masterpiece right in front of him.

“I canna believe I’m in such a place wi’ ye, Sassenach, and for breakfast no less,” he said, hearing a laugh that didn’t sound quite like his own. Frowning at himself, he looked across at her as she chuckled kindly at him, her index finger dabbing a crumb from the corner of her mouth before popping it between her lips. The lips that he had tasted just once years ago in what had been agreed as a funny drunken lapse of judgment in a grubby old pub on the edge of their college campus.

“You just need to relax and you’ll enjoy it, I promise,” she said. It had been her idea to get high first thing in the morning and then spend the remainder of their final day together strolling around the museums and parks of the city, allowing themselves to get into the spirit of the place and cut loose for once.

He watched her waggling her eyebrows suggestively, looking to him like furry brown worms, “You seemed to enjoy the ladies outside well enough.”

He went bright red and tried to sit up straighter amongst the sofa cushions that were trying their best to swallow him, “Dinna be daft, ye ken I wouldnae pay a woman to do that sort of thing.”

“A lot of people pay for sex, Jamie, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Two consenting adults and all that.”

He had always known that Claire was a very liberal thinker and she spent a lot of time and energy educating herself on things to broaden her perspective of the world. Jamie admired her for it even if he did enjoy poking fun at her sometimes, just to watch the spark catch fire in her eyes as she told him precisely why he was wrong.

“Aye well, that’s all fine an’ weel but I winna be dealing wi’ it myself, thank ye.”

“Oh, live a little, Fraser. How long has it been since Annalise? Seven months?” She asked him directly as he made a very Scottish noise in the back of his throat in an attempt to dismiss the conversation about his ex-girlfriend.

“I’ll thank ye to leave her out of our weekend,” he warned her jokingly, delighting in the corner of her mouth quirking upwards in amusement. Before he knew it, the words were tumbling out of his mouth, “Besides, Lise and I, we never…”

He watched as Claire’s eyes almost burst from her skull as she leaned forward, her beautiful mouth gaping at his revelation. Why the hell had he told her that? They never spoke about the personal details of their respective relationships, it was the unspoken rule between them. Don’t ask, don’t tell. Jamie could think of nothing worse than sitting and listening to Claire regale him of her sexual exploits with the uptight historian. It also meant that Claire didn’t know exactly how much sex Jamie wasn’t having.

“Never?! You were together for a year!” The amazement in her voice was evident and Jamie flopped backwards in the sofa, raising his hands to his face. He cursed the effects of the marijuana that had relaxed him to the point where he was divulging information that he would usually keep behind his teeth.

“Never, okay?”

“Wow… okay… not sure what to do with that but okay,” she mirrored his body language, collapsing back onto her sofa and tucking her legs up underneath her. “So you’ve not had sex in what, just shy of two years? Good God, you must have the patience of a saint.”

“Something like that,” he mumbled into his palms, refusing to remove them for the fear of her gaze seeing the truth that he was trying desperately to keep hidden but that was on the tip of his very stoned tongue.

“Longer than two years?” He heard her whisper in disbelief.

“Try 24.”

They sat in silence for a few seconds before it became too much, he had to look at her to gauge her reaction to his honesty. He had expected her to laugh or to yell in surprise but he realised that she mostly just looked curious, like she was trying to figure out the answer to the puzzle that was sat opposite her.

“You’re a virgin?” He nodded in response and watched as her shoulders dropped slightly, smiling kindly at him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because we dinna talk about things like this,” he sighed. He could see all the questions that were threatening to slip past her lips.

“Have you not wanted to? Because that’s okay, maybe you’re just not into the thought of-“

“Christ, no! No, I’m definitely into the thought of it,” he laughed. “From the age of thirteen to seventeen, I barely thought of anything else. Besides, I said I was a virgin, no’ a monk. I’ve done stuff.”

She laughed at that, “So why not? I’m sorry, you absolutely do not have to tell me but I- just… how? Why?”

“Was just waitin’ on the right woman,” he shrugged in an attempt to appear nonchalant about the whole thing. Whether she was buying it or not, he couldn’t tell but he was certain that if she listened hard enough, she could hear his heart beating out a rhythm in time with the syllables of her name.

Because that was the real truth, wasn’t it? That he had been waiting for her.

She didn’t say anything in response, just leaned to cut the remaining space cake in half again, offering the larger half to Jamie that he almost snatched from her, anything to distance himself from the conversation that they were having.

He was grateful when she left it at that, being able to intuit that he wasn’t comfortable with the line of questioning. That night, when the effects of their morning had worn off, they rented bikes and attempted to navigate the city like the locals did, getting horribly lost and ending up drinking a beer by the canal as the sun went down. Jamie watched as the rays painted her pale skin gold and the wind caught the folds of her sundress, settling the material delicately against her bonnie wee shins. It had been the perfect day and Jamie didn’t want it to end. But he knew that it had to.

In the morning, she was getting on a plane.

“Shall we head back, d’ye think? It’s been a long day,” he said quietly, pulling her out of the daydream that she was sat in. She turned to face him with a dreamy smile on her face as she nudged his shoulder with her head.

“The best day,” she said simply. “Let’s go.”

They walked the short distance back to their hotel in silence, neither of them needing to fill it with words as they just existed in each other’s company. When they got to their hotel room, he made light work of pulling off his hoodie and collapsed onto his twin bed with the remote in his hand as she shut herself in the bathroom, the lock gently clicking behind her. Jamie ran a hand over his tired face and tried to concentrate on the tv. He had an ear for languages, being the proud new owner of a First in Modern Languages and Linguistics from Oxford, but the rules of Dutch seemed to be far removed from that of the French and German, and a little Italian, that naturally clicked together in his brain.

He strained to listen in an attempt to isolate some of the sounds, let his mind create patterns and try to fill in the gaps but he was tired and gave up quickly, punching the pillow that was under his head to prop up his neck a little further so that he could look out of the window. He heard the bathroom door unlock.

That was when he saw her. Really saw her for the first time. And it wasn’t because he could see more of her skin than he had ever seen before but because of the look that was painted on her face. Her beautiful face radiating a vulnerability and softness that he had never seen the depths of before, never as unguarded as she was in that moment. She smiled shyly at him and her hand came to cover her bare stomach slightly. Panic clutched at Jamie’s chest as he watched her wall build itself back up.

He was on his feet before he even knew it, pulling her hand back down to her side and lacing their fingers together.

It was always easier if they touched.

“What are ye doin’, Claire?” He tried to keep his voice soft, to not let the need he was feeling flow out in every word. She blushed and ducked her head, as though looking him in the eye would break the spell.

“I just thought…” she trailed off before defiantly bringing her head up and fixing him with a stare. “I can’t stand the idea of you having your first time with someone who doesn’t appreciate you.”

She had sounded strong and sure but Jamie’s head was birling. He took a step closer to her, so close that he could feel her breath on his chest and looked down at her body, barely an inch of space between them. The swell of her breasts were contained by a lace bra, a lilac so soft that it made her pale skin look like ivory against it. She was wearing matching underwear, just a scrap of material really, and his cock twitched at the thought of what she must look like from behind. The amazing arse of his best friend that he had shamefully lusted after for so long.

He raised the hand that wasn’t tangled with hers to hover over her heart, not quite touching the skin but watching as the goosebumps appeared anyway. She let out a shaky breath through perfectly pursed lips and he knew then what she was doing, the gift that she was giving him. Because she knew or at the very least suspected how he felt about her. She’d have to be blind not to see it.

She was saying goodbye.

“Claire… lass, we dinna have to do this. You dinna have to do this for me,” he whispered but he barely managed to get the words out before she popped up on her toes and closed the gap between them.

For a moment, they stood still. Neither of them moved a muscle for fear of breaking whatever magic had been cast over them. But then his mouth moved instinctively, applying pressure to her lips in an attempt to open them so his tongue could reacquaint itself with hers, so many years since they first kissed. He heard her, felt her, sigh softly and that was all the proof that he needed to wrap his arms around her and pin her to his chest, his mouth greedily seeking hers. Her hands found his face and thinking that she meant to push him away, he immediately let her go and took a step back from her, breath bursting from his lungs.

“I’m so sorry, lass, I didnae mean to get carried away-“

“Jamie, stop. You’re overthinking this,” she interrupted him by pressing her body back to his and put a steady hand on his cheek, his face leaning in to press a kiss to her open palm. The reality of the situation filled him. When the sun came up the next day, she would pack her things and they would travel to the airport to say goodbye. His chest tightened and he exhaled heavily, trying to take a steadying breath but it shattered in his throat and he tried to suck another in. Noticing that he was beginning to panic, Claire urged him to look at her. “It’s just me, Jamie, it’s us. Do you want this? Do you want me?”

“Oh God, yes.”

Their mouths snapped back together and all was right with the world. He couldn’t stop touching her, desperate to elicit sounds from her that she had kept hidden from him for so many years, ones that he thought he’d never have the privilege of hearing. An errant thought passed through his head, that maybe he should feel nervous about his first time, about not satisfying her, but the way that she was reacting to his kiss put his mind at ease. He would take everything in, commit everything to memory and be attentive to what she seemed to like and not like. She was terrible at lying, his Sassenach, and he was secure in the knowledge that he already knew her better than anyone else on this earth.

He was pulled from his thoughts at the feeling of her hands on his zipper and he groaned into their kiss as her hand brushed against his painfully hard cock through the thick material of his jeans. Everything was happening too fast and at the same time, not fast enough. He wished to be utterly consumed by her, to share something that neither of them would ever be able to take back. Something that he knew he would carry with him until the day he died.

Claire’s skilled fingers divested him of his jeans and he refused to break their kiss as he wriggled out of them, swallowing her giggles when she realised what he was up to. He ran his hands from her hips up the soft planes of her body, feeling her delicate ribs under her skin and brushing around the lace of her bra to where it joined in the back. Whether it was intuition or he fact that he practically ripped the clasp apart in blind need, he had no idea, but his fingers fumbled less than he had anticipated.

“I want to see you too,” she whispered against his lips, pulling his t-shirt over his head in one quick movement before she fixed him with a stare, licked her tongue down the palm of her hand as Jamie’s eyes widened in disbelief before her hand disappeared into the waistband of his boxers.

“Christ,” he shuddered, screwing his eyes shut in an attempt to contain the feel of her warm, wet hand on his cock. Her grip was firm on him as his jaw hung open and she greedily claimed his mouth once more as she quickened the pace.

When her mouth disappeared from his, Jamie opened his eyes in confusion to see that she’d dropped to her knees in front of him, her index fingers taking the fabric of his boxers on the same descent. The sight alone nearly undid him but it was nothing compared to the heat that enveloped him as she took him inside her mouth. Fingers immediately threaded through her hair, he squeezed his eyes shut with a gasp as she took him as far back as she could, which was no small task given the size of him. His mind betrayed him with a memory of Annalise trying her hardest but he was never truly convinced that she had wanted to do it, suspecting that she felt like it was an obligation which meant that Jamie could never really enjoy the act. As though she knew that his mind had wandered, Claire’s fingers gripped him tightly as her mouth kept a steady rhythm and his hips jerked forwards instinctively. An attempt at a stuttered apology was on the tip of his tongue but she beat him to it, moaning around him and sending delicious vibrations down his length. Knees buckling slightly at the sensation, Claire’s whisky eyes peered up at him, her lips plump and wet and with a hollowing of her cheeks and a hard suck, she sent him crashing over the edge, moaning her name as he did.

As the stars that had burst into his vision began to fade, he fought to get his breath back, feeling the brush of her body as she got up from her knees.

“Did that feel good?” She whispered as he nodded furiously, bumping their noses together in his enthusiasm. She laughed quietly and went back to kissing him, the feeling of her smile on his lips.

“It was amazing,” he told her. “Thank you.”

She laughed at his earnest gratitude, “I know how you can make it up to me.”

Taking his hand and leading the both of them towards her bed, Claire didn’t allow for too much space to come between their bodies as she lay back and pulled him down with her. Jamie’s mind raced as the sight. How many times had he imagined this? And how pitiful his imagination had been when conjuring it, missing the exquisite details like the way her her skin trembled at his touch and the softness of the sole her foot trailing up the back of his calf as he lay on top of her.

He knew that he was the luckiest man alive as he kissed down her body and a found a freckle on the inside of her thigh. To know the secret parts of her, to have her share them with him when she kept everyone else at arm’s length. How could he not be in love with her?

“Touch me, Jamie.”

He knew that those were the words that would wake him in a sweat for the years to come as he revisited this moment in his dreams. Hearing them fall from her throat was a blessing and he wasn’t one to squander such an invitation. He was trying to be gentle with her so as to not scare her off but in that moment, his trembling fingers became sure and shredded through the thin lace of her underwear, ripping them from her body with a deep growl that he didn’t know he was capable of producing. He felt her body melt into the mattress as his middle finger found her wet centre, her legs quivering in response.

“Oh, my Claire… how beautiful you feel,” he whispered as she moaned loudly, pushing her hips towards him in an attempt to receive more attention. His warm hand left her and closed around her hipbone as he kept her at a distance, blue eyes blazing into whisky ones with so much love that it made her mouth water. Not breaking eye contact, his fingers flexed around her hip, holding her in place as he brought his mouth to her core.

Claire threw her head back against the pillow, mouth agape.

“What the fuck,” she gasped. He had told her that he wasn’t entirely green behind the ears but it was nice to hear the shock in her voice as he set his tongue to work. Within minutes Claire’s body was writhing, one hand fisted in the bedsheets like she was holding on for dear life. It still wasn’t enough and so he shifted his arms underneath her, running them up the length of her back and pulling her closer into his mouth. She squeaked with surprise as she settled her weight onto her shoulders, trusting that Jamie’s strength would hold her steady as he relentlessly licked and nipped at her.

“Jamie, I’m-“

Claire was unable to finish as her words were replaced by a loud moan, Jamie’s growl indicating that he was not willing to let her go without knowing what it felt like for her lose herself on his tongue.

Fingers gripping his curls, Claire pulled slightly and he felt her entire body go rigid as she tried to control the feelings that were coursing through her body. Jamie slid two fingers into her and lightly flicked his tongue against her, holding her steady as she began to convulse in his arms. He was fascinated to learn that she didn’t make a sound, only screwed her eyes shut and let her mouth hang open as she rolled her hips against him, riding out her orgasm.

When he felt her shy away from his tongue, he gave her a final kiss and moved up towards her, delighting in the way that she curled her hand around the back of his neck and brought his mouth down to hers, tasting herself on his lips.

“Not a monk indeed,” she laughed breathily as she ran her fingers through her hair, her eyes shutting slightly as the aftershocks ran through her.

“I’m a man of many talents, if I do say so myself.”

“I wonder what else you’re good at,” she raised a single eyebrow above a pair of seductive eyes and Jamie took the opportunity to press his renewed erection against her thigh.

“Only one way to find out, I suppose.”

Her hands sought out his body again, as though they were always meant to be touching and she moaned a little when she felt that he was hard so soon after his orgasm.

“We can stop here, Jamie. This is your choice. Whatever you want.”

“I want ye so much, I can scarcely breathe. Will ye have me?”

“Yes,” she sighed deliriously, “Yes, I’ll have you.”

“Come here to me, Jamie,” she whispered as she took him in hand and lead him to her opening. He steeled himself, taking a deep breath and basking in the look of wonder on her face, soon replaced by a quiet, exquisite joy as he pushed himself home for the first time.

She was like velvet. Impossibly soft and hot, wet with her need and it was all he could manage not to immediately race to his finish, to take her with a force and a desperation that he knew was painted on his features. With the strength of an army, he stilled himself and raised his face to hers, nearly coming undone when their eyes met.

Claire had never looked at him like that. Her cheeks were flushed from her pleasure, her pupils blown wide and stunned. His soul was laid open to her and hers to him. And he knew that his face showed the unfathomable depth of his love for her, incapable of hiding it when they were joined like this.

Jamie could have stayed that way forever but his physiology had other ideas, his hips responsively snapping into hers. She moaned and tilted her hips to meet him, raising a knee upwards to cradle his side and deepen the angle of him inside of her. Jamie was completely unaware that something could feel this good and he lowered his head to capture her lips as he began to rock his hips against hers.

All worries that he may have had left him when he watched the way she responded to his body, her fingertips digging into the muscles of his biceps until he was sure that they would bruise. She was panting and moaning beneath him, making tiny movements with her body that produced huge waves of sensation in his. He was so distracted by his own pleasure that the first time she clenched lightly around him, he wasn’t even sure that it had happened. Looking down at her, he mimicked the movement with his hips and earned himself another wonderful contraction coupled with an urgent moan that ripped from her chest.

He slowed his pace, not wanting to be undone before she reached her peak and moved his fingers to her mouth which she accepted greedily. Screwing his eyes shut at the sensation, he trailed his hand down her body to the place where they joined and lightly found the bundle of nerves at the top of her sex. She convulsed, eyes snapping open in pleasure and he wished for the hundredth time that he could drown in them.

As his fingers began to stroke her, he watched as her body changed from pliant and soft to frantic and needy. Her hands moved to his arse and pulled him into her, keening at the feeling of his cock coupled by the pleasure that he was seeking in her from his fingers.

“You’re going to make me come, Jamie,” she sobbed in surprise and he doubled down his efforts to find it for her, to let her chase her pleasure before he gave in to his own. What a gift to be able to feel the way her body reacted to his, to know how it felt when she came close to her orgasm. Her tight muscles fluttered around him as he watched the flat plane of her stomach clench in an attempt to control the pleasure that was crashing through her body. It was all too much.

“Give me your mouth, Sassenach,” he gasped as he sealed his mouth to hers, their tongues hungrily seeking the other. It was the moment of combustion when they finally met and her body convulsed once more before she began to shake uncontrollably, noises coming from her that he never thought he’d hear. It was everything he needed in that moment as he began to pour himself into her, unable to stop the frantic jerk his hips as he experienced a blinding white pleasure that he’d never felt before.

Only just managing to shift his body so that he didn’t collapse his entire weight onto her, Jamie rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling as he waited for his heart rate to slow. He was hyper aware of Claire’s body beside him, of the rise and fall of her chest as she descended from waves of pleasure that he had elicited in her. He’d expected for his mind to be running a hundred miles a minute but all he felt was serenity. In that moment, the world was exactly as it should be.

“Christ,” Jamie huffed, unable to stop the air bursting from his lungs. The question fell out of him before he had a chance to stop it. “Is it always like that?”

He didn’t look at her, couldn’t force his eyes to look at her face in case he didn’t like what he saw. But his eyes began to drift closed at the feeling of Claire curling her naked body around his, bringing a bent leg to rest over his abdomen and her hair splaying on his chest.

“No, it isn’t.”

[adarafaelbarba]

Soul Mate

Pairing: Sonny Carisi x Songwriter!reader

Fandom: Law and Order SVU

Warning: Angst. Fluff. A string of crazy coincidences. Smut (do not read if you’re under 18!)

A/N: This is part two of «Post-It» and covers @sweetcannolicarisi ’s Candy Heart Bingo with the square: Soul Mate. Enjoy 🥰 

Part 1 here

«Next up is Post-It by (Y/N) (Y/L/N)», the radio host said. Sonny nearly spat out his coffee as he heard the familiar voice, a voice he hadn’t heard in years. «Carisi? You okay?» Kat asked him, patting his back. «Did you catch her name?» He asked, everyone giving him a puzzled look. «Who?» Kat asked. «Her. The woman on the radio! What was her name?!» He asked. «I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention», she shrugged, and Sonny groaned, lost again.

He slumped his head as he sat down. Until he heard the melody floating through the room. Rollins walked in, humming it. «Amanda! Do you know who sings that song?!» He asked, looking at his old partner. «Uh, yeah, it’s (Y/N) (Y/L/N). She’s really talented. Usually writes for other artists, but this is the first time she’s released a song with her own vocals» Amanda noted, and Sonny could have kissed her if he wasn’t so adamant on finding his mystery girl.

«Carisi what’s going on?!» Fin asked, confused. «Is it the post-it girl?» Amanda asked, remembering Sonny telling her about the mystery girl in his apartment building. He could only nod as he stole Kat’s spot to use her computer.

«Found her!» Sonny cheered, jumping out of the chair, sending the details to his phone. «Sorry guys I got to go», he stated, rushing out. He had to find her, and he was just hoping she would still be home.

When he finally got to her building, a bouquet of the same type of flowers he had given her the first time in hand and a yellow post-it note stuck to the plastic, he started doubting himself again. This was the first time they would meet. What if she was disappointed? What if he was not what she had expected.

But none the less he heard the doorbell ring, and he took a deep breath. He waited for a bit, wondering if he should leave or ring it again. And then you stood there in front of him, and his heart skipped several beats. «Yes?» Your voice was low at first, but your speaking voice was just as soft and melodic as the singing one, and he fell hard. God you were beautiful.

«I’m Sonny. W—we used to live on the same floor a few years ago», he murmured, offering the bouquet to her. «Sonny?» You asked, a smile creeping onto your pink tinted lips. Oh how he wanted to kiss them. «Hey (Y/N)» he replied. You let out a shaky breath as you started giggling.

«What’s so funny?» He asked, confused. «You’re ridiculously cute! I was afraid you were some ugly dude», you said between fits of nervous giggles. «Oh. Well I think you’re pretty cute yourself, doll», he replied, making your heart skip a beat at the nickname.

Looking up at him, you bit your lips, a pink blush grazing over your cheek. «Thank you, Sonny», you murmured. It was his turn to let out a nervous chuckle. The silence between you two was welcoming as you took hold of his tie and pulled him towards you, your lips landing on his. He let out a surprised gasp before his hands found their way around your waist, pulling you in to deepening the kiss.

«Is it weird to say I’ve wanted to do that for a while?» You asked, foreheads rested against each other as you stood back down on your feet. «Not at all», he murmured, before letting out a groan. «Work calls. I’m sorry, doll», he said, shoving his phone back down in his pocket. «Go. I’ll see you later», you replied, kissing him again.

Hours later he was back, and you simply couldn’t help but smile wide, taking the pizza box and wine, putting it on the table in the hallway before pulling him in for a kiss. «Hi, doll», he murmured, letting you drag him into your house. «Hi.» Giggling, you let Sonny lift you up by the backs of your thighs, carrying you to the living room before plopping himself and you down on the couch.

«You’ve got really soft lips, doll. I can’t seem to stop kissing them», Sonny noted, rubbing his nose to yours. «I’m not gonna stop you», you murmured, bucking your hips down on his, eliciting a loud moan from Sonny.

Giggling, you dipped your head to capture his lips in another kiss, smiling at how warm his hands were on your hips. Grabbing hold of his tie again, you loosened it before tossing it to the floor and getting to work on the buttons on his shirt. «Why don’t we take this upstairs to the bedroom?» You asked in a low voice, prying his shirt open. «D—doll», he moaned as you bucked your hips down on his again. «S—stop», he groaned, stilling your hips. «What’s wrong?» You asked, worry crossing your face as you looked at him all over. That’s when your eyes landed on the golden crucifix around his neck. «Oh», you murmured, «Sorry.»

He shook his head, cupping your cheeks to make you look at him. «It’s not that I don’t want you. I just, I want to take it slow. Really get to know you», he said in a low voice. «I can do slow», you murmured, caressing his cheeks.

…

A couple of months went by, and you fell more in love with each other as the time went on. It was something about him you couldn’t pinpoint, but you’d never felt so close with anyone you’d been with before, and you started wondering if this was what finding your soulmate was like.

You never pushed him for sex, wanting him to find out when he was ready. But that wasn’t to say you didn’t make out like horny teenagers. Often times you were both on your couch or his, his shirt off and hands on your boobs, over your shirt.

One day, on your way back to yours after lunch, driving through Brooklyn you drove past a familiar looking diner, «We should go there one day, they’ve got really good food», he murmured, pointing to the neon sign over the door. «I know. I used to work there, before I quit», you replied, giggling as his head snapped to look at you. «What?! When?» He was so cute when he looked so surprised. «Back when we were neighbors. I quit and got a job at the coffee shop I’m in now when I moved. It was easier.» You noted, studying the hand he had in your lap. «No way! I went there a couple of times when I worked with Brooklyn SVU», he replied. «So you’re from Brooklyn?» You asked.

It hadn’t really come up in the time you had together in between your busy schedules, where the other was from. But you knew he was from New York, from how thick his accent would get at times. You were the same. «Staten Island actually.» That made you stare at him. «No! Seriously?!» He nodded at that before parking the car when you finally got to your house.

You didn’t stop staring at him until you got to your front door, having to focus on unlocking the door. «Did I say something wrong?» He asked, worry creeping onto his face. «What? No, of course not. It just took me by surprise», you responded, going to grab two bottles of water before following him to the couch. «Staten Island isn’t that bad.» That made you laugh, almost choking on the water you had started gulping down. «Oh I know, I’m from there too», you said when you finally stopped coughing.

«Where!» He asked, turning to look at you. «Up in Tompkinsville. What about you?» You asked. «Tottenville», he noted. «This is honestly crazy. We lived in the same apartment complex, on the same floor. We’re both from Staten Island. What else is similar? You’re not Italian too are you?» You laughed at that and shook your head. «Irish. But don’t worry. I’m Catholic», you mused, making him laugh too. «Good to know», he said with a chuckle.

There was a few moments of silences before Sonny said «Please tell me you didn’t go to Curtis high.» That made you laugh. “Would you like me to lie to you?» You mused, biting your lip.

«The amounts of times we played against them was ridiculous», he groaned. «Soccer or basketball?» You asked, taking a new sip of water. «Basketball.» You gasped. «Which number were you?!» He gave you a confused look. «I was number 17, why?» He asked.

You gasped again. The coincidences were piling up. You used to live on the same floor. And you were both from Staten Island. Not to mention you’d been to each other’s schools for games. Him as a basketball player and you as a cheerleader.

«Seriously? I remember I had a massive crush on you.» He looked at you then. «This is is getting freaky.» You nodded at that.

You didn’t often pull faith into your day to day life, but surely with all of this, it was clear that you and Sonny were meant to be together. «It’s like God wanted us to be together», you murmured, moving closer. «Yeah.» He breathed out, closing the gap, his lips on yours in seconds.

The kiss started like every other kiss you had shared, and yet it felt different. Sonny places one hand on your hip while the other cupped your cheek, the kiss more passionate. As you moaned, Sonny took the opportunity to deepen the kiss more, his tongue dancing with yours.

Straddling his lap, your arms found their spot around his neck whilst both his hands rested on you hips. You let him take the lead, not wanting to push him.

«I can’t take the waiting anymore, doll», he groaned, lips sucking marks on your exposed neck. «Are you sure Sonny?» you asked, looking at him. «I’m sure. I want you, if you’ll have me», he murmured. «I’ve waited for you for this long. You think I don’t want you?» You asked, looking at him. He didn’t say anything, just pulled you closer and kissing you again.

You let out a moan when you felt the bulge in his pants. «Take me to bed Sonny», you murmured, kissing him once more. Nodding his head, he carefully stood up, holding you up by your thighs.

On top of the stairs, Sonny looked around. «End of the hall», you mused. «Why is it always the furthest away?» That made you laugh as you pressed kisses to his neck. He let out a small moan as you found his weak spot. «Doll», Sonny warned, squeezing the back of your thighs.

When he finally made it to your bedroom he carefully placed you on the bed. «Strip.» He commanded, shedding his shirt and undershirt. You were mesmerized by his physic, having never seen his bare chest before. «Did you hear me doll? Strip», he said again, snapping you out of your trance.

Quickly you grabbed the hem of your dress, pulling it up and off you, dropping it to the floor. Sonny let out an audible groan as he took you in, standing there in a steel blue lingerie set. «fuck», he groaned, staring at you. «What?» You asked. Sonny almost ripped his pants off, trying to get them down. «What?!» You were laughing now as he rushed over to you, making you fall to your back on the soft mattress. «You look stunning in that color», he murmured, his lips on your neck, sucking marks into your delicate skin, «It’s also my favorite color, and now I’m never gonna get the image of you in it out of my head», he groaned, rolling his hips into yours.

«I’ll remember that next time I go shopping», you murmured, a giggle slipping your lips as he kissed your neck again. «No teasing, doll», he retorted, grabbing a condom from the nightstand drawer. «Someone knows where they are», you noted, smirking at him. «I might have assumed», he said, blushing.

Moving up on the bed, you laid your head on the pillows, looking over at him. «Are you gonna stand there all day?» You mused, biting your lip. «I’m just admiring the view», he replied, dropping his boxers. You let out a gasp as you took in how big he was, and it made you positively drenched. As he rolled the condom on, you took the time to get rid of your own underwear, dropping them on the floor by the bed. «Fuck! You look incredible doll!» Sonny said, a loud groan leaving his lips as he joined you on the bed.

«So do you. Can’t wait to feel you in me», you murmured, leaning up to kiss him. That was all the confirmation Sonny needed as he lined up his cock with your core, slowly pushing in. «Oh, yes, feels so good babe», you moaned out, hands going into his hair. «F—fuuuuuck you’re so tight around me», he groaned, setting a steady pace. «I’m not gonna last if you keep squeezing me like that doll», Sonny added, trying his best not to pick up the pace too much. He wanted the first time to be slow and passionate, he felt that it would be the best way to start getting to know your body.

He was resting upright on his arms as he kept the pace, his gold crucifix dangling over you. «Mmmm, just like that», you moaned, linking one finger in the necklace before pulling him down to kiss him. «I’m so close babe.» You squeezed him tighter as you felt your orgasm creep up on you. «Let go for me doll, I’m there too», he murmured, chasing his own release.

It didn’t take long before you let go, your high hitting you like electricity, moans and curse words slipping from your lips as he helped you ride out your high, hitting his own release in the process.

Sonny stilled inside you for a moment before pulling out, tossing the condom in the trash can next to your bed. «That was incredible doll», he murmured, dropping onto his back next to you, chest heaving, his skin glowing in post sex bliss and the golden crucifix shining in the dim lights of the room. «It—it really was», you purred, rolling over on your side to look at him. «How are you feeling?» He asked, giving you a worried look. «I’ve never felt so good in my life», you murmured, pressing a soft kiss to his chest. «How are you feeling though?» You asked, slumping your arm over his abdomen. «Never better.»

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[thatesqcrush]

Game Night

Rafael Barba x Reader. CW: Rough sex, dub-con to be safe, talks of dom/sub dynamics. NSFW. AN: Fills the mirror sex card in kink bingo. WC: 2371

AN: Y/B/F/N: your best friend’s name 

--

Rafael hadn’t meant to overhear your conversation. He presumed you were asleep as he had to work late in the office finishing up a motion for summary judgment. You were standing against the door of the bathroom, talking to whom he assumed was a friend. He wasn’t expecting what came out of your mouth next.

“I wish he would do that. Just take me, bend me over and fuck me. God, that sounds so fucking hot!”

The Catholic guilt set in. He knew he should go straight down to your shared bedroom. Curiosity bested him and he took another step forward. The floorboard creaked and he automatically froze. You did too and peeked your head out. “Rafi! You’re home!” You turned to the receiver, dropping your head down. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow – Thai for lunch? Perfect.”

You hung up the phone and placed it on the mahogany stained console table before straightening the vase of roses that graced it – roses, Rafael had bought for you earlier in the week.

“Guapo!” You greeted him once more, wrapping your arms around him. “Welcome home. I’ve missed you.” You pressed a large kiss on his lips before nuzzling his neck. Rafael squeezed your close to him, his fingertips pressing into the dip of your waist. He returned your kiss.

“I’ve missed you too.” He murmured. “Who was that you were talking to?”

“Oh! Y/B/F/N – work had her overseas for a bit, remember? She just got back earlier today. We’re going to have lunch tomorrow.” You spun on your heels and made a move to break the embrace, when Rafael pulled you back closer to him. You let out a giggle, feeling Rafael’s hardened cock against your ass. Feeling lascivious, you wiggled against his erection. Rafael let out a small growl before picking you up and throwing you over his shoulders. Marching towards the bedroom, he gave your ass a resounding smack which caused you to squeal. And then in the bedroom, he made you come again and again and again.

--

You were surprised the next morning when you found Rafael sitting on the couch, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. You wore his old Harvard t-shirt, which had seen better years. It was tattered and frayed but extremely soft and comfortable. Rafael had purchased a new one and planned to toss that one, but you insisted on keeping it for yourself.

You threw yourself onto the opposite end of the couch, stretching out your legs, until they had just touched his outer thighs. “I thought you had work.”

Rafael put down his coffee and paper on the end table, before grabbing your feet. You let out a soft moan as he began to rub them. “I took the day off, figured we hadn’t had a long weekend in ages. We were overdue.”

You let out a squeal before your plans for the day smacked you in the face. “Ah shit, I have plans with Y/B/F/N for lunch, remember?”

Rafael cocked his head. “Well, go to lunch. I know you’ve missed her. In the meantime, breakfast? Russ & Daughters?”

You nodded in agreement. “Just don’t get the caviar cream cheese again.” You crinkled your nose, making a face. Rafael let out a guffaw. “Duly noted.”

--

While you had gone out to lunch, Rafael busied himself with errands. He dropped off his suits at the cleaners and picked up a rare two volume set at Argosy Bookstore. He was drinking an Earl Grey latte when he walked past the store front for a sex shop. Rafael paused, taking in the brick and mortar shop. The window front appeared tame upon first blush, but on closer inspection, it was the opposite. Frosted glass covered the majority of the window, but past the coated glass, there was very sensual black and white imagery: a woman moaning, an image of sinewy thigh – and the implication that they wore a strap-on, hands gripping someone’s skin tightly. Curiosity piqued and your comment haunting his mind, he took a large gulp and went inside.

The store was elegant, with curtain lights hanging off the ceiling. Floor to ceiling bookshelves were filled with books covering every kink and pleasure known. Vibrators, dildos, anal plugs of all shapes and sizes graced floating shelves. Rafael chuckled quietly at the handcuffs.

“May I help you? I’m Liria and I own this shop.”

Rafael jumped slightly and turned around. He came face to face with a petite woman in an off the shoulder billowing dress with a bemused look on her face. An obscene amount of bangles hung off her wrists and clanked together as she clasped her hands together.

“I… my partner…” Rafael began, finding himself at a loss for words. He had always assumed you and him had a healthy and happy sex life. You never once voiced that it was anything but. Your comment gnawed at him and he was eager to want to please, but he wasn’t sure how.

“Deep breath sir. Nothing to be ashamed of here.” Liria winked. “Tell me about your partner. Tell me about their wants and your desires.”

Rafael ended up staying in the shop for hours on end, going over details of his sex life with you with someone who was a complete stranger, but yet, felt comfortable being a complete open book with. As a lawyer, as a prosecutor, Liria explained, Rafael was a natural dominant. There was truth within that role that resonated with being a dominant. Thanks to the nature of his work, he was worried about taking on such a role.

“The goal is to alter your style slightly based on your submissive; you will still have a style distinct to you. You can keep those elements of what are true to you without compromising the needs of your submissive. You’re already going to be a good dom. In order to be an effective dom, it requires intuition, reading nonverbal communication and empathy, all of which you have. That said, submission is about the giving/receiving of power. Think about how you want to feel. Think about what arouses you. Think about what turns you on.”

Finally Rafael blurted out what he had heard you say. “She wants me to just bend her over –"

The sound of his phone vibrating interrupted him. “Excuse me.” Rafael apologized. Liria watched Rafael intently as he spoke with you. Murmurs of a game night invite popped up, to which he agreed to. Liria raised a finger, mouthing she would be back to which Rafael nodded. A few minutes passed and he was off the phone. Liria returned with a host of different items.

The air in the room changed with Rafael realizing he had to be on his way. Liria continued talking to him about dominating as he paid for a few items that he was certain would help spice things up. And then he was on his way.

--

A sucker for trip-hop and downtempo music, you had an eclectic mix of music playing loudly in the apartment when Rafael returned home. He set down his bags and walked down to the kitchen in search of you.

“Y/N?” Rafael called out.

“Bathroom, doing my makeup.” You called out.

Rafael made his way to the bathroom and felt his cock stir in his pants at the sight of you bent over, in just a loose tanktop, that barely skimmed the tops of your thighs and lacey black panties. From the reflection in the mirror, he can tell your nipples are hard. His eyes darted to the phone and your comments ring in his head once more. He walked over to the kitchen, poured himself a scotch and downed it in one gulp. He slammed the drink on the table and walked into the bedroom where he whipped off the sweater he wore and made his way back to the bathroom.

You felt Rafael’s presence behind you as you glued on a false lash. You squeezed your eye shut, adjusting and then opened them, batting your lashes repeatedly. Your lips were painted a bright orange-red and your cheeks were dewy. You smiled brightly at Rafael’s reflection and moved to coat them in mascara. A large hand trailed down your back, landing at the hem of your underwear. Rafael traced it ever so lightly before snapping the band. You were about to turn your head to say something when Rafael wrapped his hand around your hair and pulled tightly.

“Look at you, teasing papi like that… you make my cock so fucking hard.” Rafael growled in your ear.

“Do I now?” You breathed, your heart racing in anticipation. He let loose your hair and took your hand before placing it on his erection. You rubbed his erection and a rumble emanated from his chest.

Rafael braced you over the sink, his hand splayed down the small of your back, forcing you to assume a subservient, bent over position. An ache pooled between your legs and you felt yourself grow wet when he nudged your feet apart with the tip of his brogues.

Rafael rutted against your ass as his hands ran over the front of your chest, grabbing the swells of your breasts and pinching your nipples. “You’re going to take this cock, me entiendes?”

You let out a whimper and nodded. Rafael stood back and freed his cock, giving the length a few pumps before he got to the waistband of your underwear. Rafael pushed the material aside as he slipped two thick, long fingers inside of you. You moaned loudly in response.

“Did I say you could moan?” Rafael grunted as he pumped his fingers in and out of you. You shook your head as you bucked against his hand, eager for more. In response, Rafael stroked you harder, his fingers curling to stroke that sweet spot inside of you. You could hear how wet you were as his digits moved in and out of you, twisting and scissoring. You gripped the edges of the sink, trembling as you felt your orgasm grow in your belly. Just as you felt your orgasm broach, Rafael took his fingers out roughly and you whined at the absent feeling. Rafael brought his fingers to your mouth and you accepted them eagerly, sucking them off as if they were his cock.

Rafael removed his fingers and bent you over again. “What do you want?”

“Please.” You begged. “Fuck me.”

You felt his cock at the tip of your entrance and he teased you, smacking his cock against your cunt. He slipped through your slick and settled at your entrance. “Is this what you want?”

You nodded. “Please, please.” You begged shamelessly.

Without warning, Rafael thrusted fully into you, burying his cock into you. You let out a gasp and Rafael began to fuck into you hard and fast, his balls slapping against you.

“Oh fuck!” You moaned. Rafael’s hands smoothed up your sides, pulling your tank top up roughly, exposing your breasts. He cupped your breasts, tugging on your nipples until they were more sensitive than they were before. One hand remained on the dip of your hip, pulling you down onto his cock, while another wrapped up into your hair, pulling you so you were flushed against him. Rafael’s breath on your neck was hot and you could smell the scotch he had earlier.

“Look in the mirror.” Rafael grunted and he moved his hand from your hip to your chin, forcing you to look in the mirror. The reflection of Rafael’s stern face as he fucked you from behind – him taking you without abandon, titillated you. “Look at how beautiful you look getting fucked with my cock.”

You let out a whine as he slowed his pace, teasing you with a circle of his hips. It didn’t last long as he began to fuck into you even harder, your ass jiggling with every impact of his hips smacking against yours.

“I am going to come…” you warned. Rafael nipped your ear, gripping your hair tighter.

“Better ask my permission.” He replied, his voice low and husky.

“Please… can I come?”

“You want to come for me? Come on that cock?” Rafael asked as he reached down to rub your clit.

“Please! Please let me come… oh fuck, oh fuck!”  

“Come for me, show me how much you enjoy being fucked like a good little slut you are.” Rafael commanded. Your walls fluttered around his cock. 

“That’s it.” Rafael encouraged. “Good girl.”

You wailed his name as you came. Your orgasm tore through your veins and your cunt gripped his cock tightly, triggering his own release.

“Oh shit. I am going to come!” Rafael grunted as he thrusted erratically. His fingers gripped your hips tightly as he stiffened. You could feel his cock pulse and twitch inside of you. He pulled out, stepping back on slightly wobbly feet. Rafael reached and fixed your underwear.

“That was so much better than I could have ever imagined.” You replied dreamily, as you felt his cum seep out of you and ruin your underwear even more. A thought occurred to you and you looked at him, eyes wide. “How did you know?”

“I heard you on the phone.” Rafael confessed. “But it was okay? It was good for you?”

You wrapped your arms around him and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Of course.”

After a few beats Rafael asked you about the upcoming game night and you moved to freshen your makeup.

You went to change your underwear after choosing your outfit when Rafael stopped you.

“Leave them on. I want you to wear them the whole time at game night. Just think about me fucking you.” Rafael purred.

--

At your friend’s place, you and Rafael sat across from each other, as it was girls vs boys in charades. You shifted in your seat, your underwear thoroughly ruined from earlier. Rafael took a swig of his beer and cocked a brow at you, causing your cheeks to burn.

“Oh, Y/N?” Rafael called out to you oh so innocently. You looked at Rafael as everyone began to settle in.

“Remind me when we get home to tell you about a little shop I found. You’re going to love it.”

FIN

--

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[jamaisvuandyou]

Please Dry My Eyes: Part 6

Description: Jin, Hoseok, and Yoongi have had a running streak of bad luck, but Jin isn’t sure what to make of this one: His old friend’s trickery that leads to him being the new father of a little toddler, Jeon Jungkook.

Posted: 02/6/2021

WARNING: Mentions of death

Angst/Fluff: 2,846 words

A/N: Welp.

Previous Part.  Next Part.

The one thing they dared not do at this exact moment was take Jimin away from Jungkook. He was distracted. He was happy. He wasn’t sobbing pitifully into Jin’s shoulder.

Jin had finally been able to take a shower, and put on a dry shirt. Not because he wasn’t expecting more tears, but because it made him feel better to get a dry shirt.

Hoseok was distracting both of them with some sort of silly song time, and the babies were laughing more than singing, but that was good. That was progress.

Yoongi was working on paperwork with Namjoon, so once Jin was finished with his shower, he went to make lunch for all of them. Something that would be easy to feed the boys while some trivial kids show played on the TV because today, of all days, was a cheat day.

“Yoongi,” He whispered, leaning on the table so that the two men seated there could hear him better. “We need kids DVDs. ASAP.”

Yoongi glanced down at the paperwork, then at Namjoon, before looking confusedly up at Jin. “Now? Why?”

“Because, we don’t have cable and we don’t have any other TV watching things, I barely remembered to get the internet installed here, and I am not trying to wrangle two emotionally unstable children for lunch when the rest of us are feeling emotionally unstable without some sort of distraction for said children,” Jin said, putting money on the table. “Take Namjoon if you need to. I’m assuming you’re staying for lunch.”

Namjoon sort of bobbed his head, a little shy. “Yeah, sorry, there’s a lot of paperwork and I thought it might be better for me to stick around and help a bit with Jimin the way he is.”

“That’s fine. Great even. Hope you like kids food. Shoo, off to the nearest store or resale shop or something.” Jin pulled both of them up by the arm. “You’ve been doing paperwork for three hours. Think of it as a coffee break, but without the coffee.”

Both of them headed for the front door, putting on their shoes to go on the trivial errand.

Jin got everything ready for when he was actually going to make lunch, then checked on Hobi and the boys again, trying to buy some time for Yoongi and Namjoon to get the required materials, and cleaned up the house a little bit since it was just short of a disaster thanks to the mess of a morning.

Lunch was almost ready when Namjoon and Yoongi returned, a few bags in tow.

Jin eyed them as he portioned out more sliced grapes. “Um….”

Yoongi held up his hands. “We went to the resale shop. It was the closest store, and we did get movies, though the quality of them is…questionable, but they had some of their toys on sale and I know that Jungkook likes the puzzles and Jimin looked like he liked books so….”

Jin nodded. “That’s fine. It’s a good idea for us to check out what they have for kids clothing-wise too. What DVDs did you get?”

“Well, we found some VHS tapes, and I remembered that ours still worked so I grabbed Cinderella, Rugrats—whatever that is, and The Lion King.”

“Let’s save Lion King for when they’re much, much older,” Jin said, thinking it would be a bad idea to show toddlers who recently lost their parents a movie where the father dies. Heck, who was he kidding, he didn’t think he could watch it.

“Right…um, well, DVD’s were even more scarce, but we found a couple DVDs of Veggietales—which I’ve never heard of, but they look pretty harmless and it is marked as having won a parent’s choice award so it’s got to be decent—Lyle the Kindly Viking, and The End of Silliness. Then there was Curious George and a Barbie movie. And the lady said we were lucky to find most of these.” Yoongi showed him the DVDs.

Jin grabbed one of the ones he hadn’t heard of, scanning over the back and then shrugging. “Let’s try one of these new ones, I guess. If it’s too bad we’ll switch to Curious George. Meantime, I’m going to look it up.”

“Already doing that,” Namjoon said. “Oh. I mean, they are Christian influenced…but definitely kids and…” He trailed off as he saw the look on Jin’s face. “Vegetables singing and acting out stories, sounds like a great distraction for the kids.”

Jin nodded. “I will take anything at this point. I’m not about to get picky on a day like today. There’s a lot of christian crap that’s secular enough to pass as not christian and at least we don’t have to worry about someone dying. And this one says it’s mostly songs from the show. Songs are good. Do you hear them singing?”

“Jin didn’t get as much sleep as you’d have thought,” Yoongi muttered to Namjoon, gently tugging him away.

Namjoon nodded, retreating with Yoongi with the DVDs to get it set it up.

Jin rubbed his forehead and finished plating it up. He didn’t have to patience to contemplate religions or whatever. He needed distractions for toddlers and they wouldn’t even really remember this. It would not be a formative memory. As long as it distracted his kids and didn’t trigger them, it could be any religion, any language, any content. He wouldn’t care until he’d slept a full night, and he had to care about their formative memories. He would figure it out then.

Just one of many meals that would blend into nothing in the minds of the infants.

And he wouldn’t have to contemplate what sort of language would be acceptable in his house for another day.

He would have to look into shows for the kids though, and get either a streaming service or a lot of DVDs.

But the four men got the two infants settled in front of the TV with their lunch.

Yoongi and Namjoon went back to their paperwork about halfway through.

But Hoseok, bless him, kept the kids invested in the show while also getting food in them. He had them dancing to a few of the songs.

And Jungkook kept watching even though he did give up on dancing to sit on Jin’s lap.

It wasn’t until it ended that Jimin seemed to calm down and remember.

He stood in the middle of the living room, hands at his sides, staring at the credits as they rolled. “Eomma,” he whispered.

Jin gently deposited Jungkook onto Hoseok’s arms, then crouched beside Jimin.

Jimin looked at him, then sighed and wrapped his arms around Jin’s neck, burying his face.

Jin held him carefully, lifting him and just holding him against his shoulder. There was a certain amount of fear inside of him: fear of Jimin becoming too attached to them, fear of letting Jimin go….

Jimin sniffled lightly.

“Well, baby,” Jin whispered. “It’s going to be long ride, but I’ve got strong shoulders. I can hold you as long as you need me too.”

As Jin sat down, Hoseok snuggled closer and rest his head on Jin’s shoulder so that Jungkook could rest on his shoulder but seemed to be satisfactorily close to Jin.

“Nice wide shoulders,” Hoseok murmured.

Jimin studied them a little bit, then reached out a hand.

Jungkook innocently took it, then closed his eyes.

Jimin smiling a bit through his quiet little tears and soft sniffles, and closing his eyes as well.

Jin watched both of the little ones until they seemed to be asleep. “Let’s put them to bed for their nap.”

Hoseok sighed. “Two more minutes.”

“No, two more minutes and we’ll both be asleep. Come on. Give me Jungkook. They’re sharing a bed. Yoongi, you took a picture, right?”

“I’m not stupid.”

Jin and Hoseok maneuvered Jungkook onto Jin’s other shoulder, then Hoseok helped Jin get up.

The toddlers barely stirred when Jin lay them down.

“For someone who supposedly hasn’t worked with kids that much, you’re doing really well,” Namjoon said quietly. “And I’m sorry about questioning you earlier on the dvds. You have every right to decide what is and isn’t okay in your house. And you were right. It was harmless.”

Jin waved them all out, closing the door for now. “Religions…are complicated, but I know a lot of religions have higher censorship, which means they’ll be more…friendly for kids who have been traumatized like mine have. Supposedly, anyway. I’m still going to screen a bunch of stuff before I let them watch it, but tonight it was desperate measures. They’ll be able to choose what they want to believe.”

Yoongi nodded. “I went to catholic school. It wasn’t all bad.”

Namjoon shrugged a bit. “Sorry. I’m an atheist, so…I didn’t think about your perspective on it.”

“Now you know my perspective on it. I’m not really religious or anything, I don’t have a set of beliefs, but if they decide they want to pursue any sort of religion, I’m not going to stop them…unless I think it’s a cult, then I’m probably going to lock them in the basement and try to talk sense to them.”

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say lock them in the basement and just roll with the talk sense to them, but yeah. I get it. Like I said, you were right. I’m sorry. But…did you really just call both of them your kids?” Namjoon was smiling.

Jin stared at the social worker, trying to remember what he had said.

Yoongi and Hoseok were smiling as well.

“I’m a duck,” Jin muttered. “A damn duck. I’ve imprinted. What the hell.”

Yoongi sputtered behind him.

Hoseok was make a lot of choked laughing noises as he followed Jin into the bedroom.

Jin changed into sweats, and stared at himself for far too long in the mirror, zoned out while trying to figure out when he’d subconsciously decided that Jimin was his now and that was such a dangerous thing to think.

Yoongi was sitting on the edge of the bed when he came out of the bathroom, but Hoseok was under the covers. “Namjoon left.”

“Right. Okay.”

“He said he’d see about trying to keep Jimin with us.”

“Right,” Jin repeated intelligently. He climbed under the covers, just waiting for Hoseok to get comfortable cuddling with him.

“Jungkook’s doing really well with him, and Jimin seems to really love Jungkook,” Hoseok whispered, holding his hand out for Yoongi to cuddle with them. “Actually, I’ve never seen Jungkook so…so….”

“Pacified? Independent? Detached from Jin?” Yoongi offered as he moved to spoon Hoseok, sandwiching the youngest in the middle. “Yeah, I think having another kid might be good for Jungkook, but we’ll still have to watch carefully over the next few days.”

Jin nodded, closing his eyes.

“But hey, we discovered that music is a good distraction for them. That’s good, you know?”

“True. And we found out that a desperate Jin doesn’t give a—”

“Language,” Jin grumbled, reaching out blindly and gently hitting at whatever his hand reached.

Soft chuckles were the response, then they all fell quiet, falling into a well-earned nap.

–

Previous.  Next.

Masterlist.

[artificialqueens]

Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer), Chapter 4 (Branjie, Jankie) - Joley

ao3 link

“I feel like I should at least pretend to be surprised. I don’t wanna come off as arrogant, you know?” Jan mused as she and Gigi walked back from the auditorium. She’d gone in just to pick up her script after securing her spot in the musical as Veronica, something she felt this whole week was leading up to. Something that made all of the chaos more bearable. “But this just… it feels right, right?”

Gigi chuckled softly and nodded. “Yeah, we all knew you had this in the bag. But I like the confidence you have, I’m proud of you, and you totally deserve this.”

Jan wrapped her arm around Gigi, hugging her from the side. “Thanks, I still needed to hear that,” she admitted. They continued walking in silence before she hesitantly told her, “I wanna tell Jackie. Despite what happened, she did help me a lot when it came to preparing for the audition.”

Gigi’s eyes lit up and she nodded enthusiastically. “Are you kidding? This is the perfect excuse to go talk to her! Even if things are weird, I’m sure she does actually want to know if you got the role. And if all goes well, you could always… thank her for her help,” she winked.

“Do you have any ideas about anything that doesn’t involve sex?” she asked.

“Hm… No, not really. Where’s the fun in that?”

Jan shook her head, she couldn’t have really expected anything else. But with Gigi, in its own weird way, it was almost endearing. “I appreciate the effort,” she told her with a wry grin. While she wasn’t exactly planning on following Gigi’s advice, she knew she was going to have to pluck up the courage to reach out to Jackie – she wanted to be the first to tell her about the role.

So, she texted her. Nothing dramatic, simply ‘I have good news, can we talk about it over coffee?’ and she sent it quickly before she could overanalyze and rewrite it. Though she was holding her breath until she received a text back, reading ‘sure, can be there in ten :)’.

By the time Jan made it to the coffee shop, she had managed to talk herself out of her nerves. She had to remind herself that before anything else, Jackie is a teacher, she knew how to be professional. And she could be professional too. They could have a professional friendship. As long as she didn’t look her right in the eye.

Jackie was notoriously early to everything – something Jan had only learned through passive gossip – so she wasn’t terribly surprised to see her sitting and waiting at a table with her coffee in hand. “Hey,” she greeted with a smile as she sat down and took a sip of her own drink.

“Hey you,” Jackie hummed. “So, what’s the big news?” she asked, trying not to give away that she strongly suspected the answer.

Either Jan didn’t notice or didn’t let it dampen her enthusiasm if she did. “I got the role! I’m gonna be Veronica,” she announced with a bright smile.

Jackie set her cup down and clasped her hands together. “Oh my god, that’s great!” She reached out, hand gently grasping Jan’s wrist. “I’m so happy for you, I knew you could do it.”

Jan smiled warmly. She missed the feeling of Jackie’s hand on her, even in a manner as simple as that. Even though she’d only experienced it briefly and drunkenly before, it felt comforting and familiar. “I definitely have you to thank in part for that. Who knows how hard I could’ve flopped if I picked the wrong song,” she mused.

“I don’t think it would’ve been possible for you to flop,” she retorted. “I think you could’ve sung the dictionary and they still would’ve given you the part.”

“Still, I’m glad I went to see you,” Jan finally got herself to make eye contact with Jackie. If nothing else, she wanted to convey that she was glad every part of that night happened, that she didn’t have any regrets, that the only thing she would’ve changed is running away in the morning. She doubted all of that would come across, but if she was lucky, the important parts would.

And Jackie seemed to at least try to understand what Jan meant. She smiled, she nodded, she rubbed her hand up and down Jan’s arm. “I’m glad you went to see me too,” she told her, voice holding just as many layers of emotion.

Jan smiled, biting down on her lip. “So, if I ever need someone to rehearse with…”

Jackie arched her brow. “Just rehearse?”

Blushing, she looked down. “Well, we’ll see where it goes, won’t we?” She strummed her fingers against the table as she took a long sip. “Maybe tonight?”

“Yeah,” Jackie breathed out, “I can do tonight.”

——

Going to see Jackie this time felt different. Jan was going in knowing the strong possibility of them having sex, and it took away a lot of pressure. It got rid of the fear of the unknown that had followed them ever since the morning after. She texted Jackie that she was in front of her apartment, then bounced on the balls of her feet as she waited.

“Hey,” Jackie greeted warmly as she ushered Jan inside. She looked her over curiously. “Whose letterman jacket is that?”

Jan looked over at her with a grin. “Mine,” she chirped. “I played soccer in high school. I kinda wanted to get into the mood of playing a high schooler. I was gonna get my old catholic school uniform, but…”

Jackie pouted playfully. “Don’t tease me like that,” she whined. “What, didn’t wanna take a ride out to Jersey?”

“Exactly!”

She chuckled softly. “Fair enough. You want anything to drink? Have you eaten?”

“I did,” Jan assures. “I’ll just take a water bottle or something if you’ve got one.”

Jackie nodded and fished one out of the fridge. “Heads up!” She tossed the bottle towards Jan, who was ready to catch it, but she had botched the throw terribly and it landed at the foot of the couch instead.

Jan giggled and picked it up. “Good effort!”

“Don’t patronize me, I have astigmatism,” she retorted with a dry laugh, grabbing a water bottle for herself. She didn’t want to say it out loud – lest she make Jan feel bad – but she was relieved that they had both decided not to drink. They needed time together with clear minds. And if something did happen, she wanted to remember every second of it.

“Were you in any clubs in high school?” Jan asked, deciding to change the subject.

“Other than theatre? I did student council, that was pretty fun, even though I know that’s about the nerdiest thing I could say.”

The younger student shrugged. “Hey, it helped get you here, so that’s all that really matters, right?”

Jackie tilted her head in thought for a moment. “Huh, yeah, I guess you’re right,” she decided, taking a swig of water. “Anyway, do you want to start with your lines or songs?”

“I feel like the songs take up a lot more of the show, that should probably take precedent,” Jan mused.

“Alright, which do you wanna start with?”

She hesitated. “There’s one I’m still nervous about getting right, don’t laugh…”

Jackie furrowed her brows but gestured for Jan to continue.

“Dead Girl Walking,” Jan admitted. “I just… I don’t know how to be sexy and lustful on stage, and it’s such a passionate song… I don’t know, I just haven’t worked through that awkwardness yet, and I can feel it coming out when I practice,” she explained, then noticed the way Jackie was looking at her. “Don’t give me that face, it’s different when it’s in front of an audience and specifically choreographed.”

She chuckled softly, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Sorry, sorry. I’m just struggling trying to conjure up the mental image of you not being able to do sexy.” In fact, the only mental image she could conjure up was the one of Jan half-naked, grinding on her thigh. But she did want to help and pressed her lips together as she tried to think of a plan. “Why don’t you just try singing it through first? Close your eyes and picture what you want to be able to do.”

Jan nodded, taking her phone out to get the music going. “Okay, yeah, I think that’ll work,” she decided. She pressed play on the instrumental-only music and set her phone down before closing her eyes and starting to sing.

Jackie nodded as she listened, waiting for the lines that would lead to her supplying the dialogue.

“Before they punch my clock I’m snappin’ off your window lock Got no time to knock I’m a dead girl walking”

“Veronica? What are you doing in my room?” Jackie’s eyes were trained on Jan as she spoke. She noticed Jan’s posture seemed to relax like she took comfort and reassurance in her voice.

“Shh…” Jan was delivering the line, but also calming herself down with an exhaled breath.

“Sorry, but I really had to wake you See, I decided I must ride you till I break you…”

As Jan continued to sing, Jackie slowly, quietly got up and walked up behind her. She slipped off the letterman jacket and tossed it aside, then rested her hands on Jan’s hips, pressing kisses against the back of her neck.

Jan shuddered softly but didn’t break focus. She picked up on what Jackie was trying to do right away, and she thought it was a true testament to Jackie’s quick-thinking brilliance.

“Come on! Tonight I’m yours I’m your dead girl walkin’…”

Jackie leaned forward a bit, picking just the right spot to bite down and leave a hickey. It was clear what she was trying to communicate – ‘that’s right, you’re mine, keep singing for me’. But as the tone of the song became gentle, so did her touches. She raked her fingers through Jan’s hair, releasing it from the ponytail it was in, while her opposite arm wrapped securely around her waist. She knew to keep it nice and calm until her next cue.

“Let’s make this beautiful!”

Jackie smirked and spun Jan around to face her. “That works for me.” She knew how the choreography for the number went and eased right into it – she pulled Jan into a kiss and held her close as she backed onto the couch, falling onto it with Jan straddling her lap.

Jan finally opened her eyes when her next singing cue hit. The passion she had failed to capture in her words came out in full force now. They hit every physical cue – she lightly slapped Jackie’s cheek, Jackie pulled her hair and pulled her shirt open, then moved her hands up Jan’s torso and to her breasts.

They rolled their hips together in time with the beat, punctuating every ‘yeah’, and Jackie swore the arousal she saw on Jan’s face was real by the time the music faded out.

And Jan was breathless, her face flushed red. She was searching for words, but there just didn’t seem like there was a good way to ease out of this quasi-performance mode.

“I think you’ll be able to do it now,” Jackie mused, her arms looped casually around Jan’s waist. “I knew you had it in you.”

“Is that the only thing I’m getting in me tonight?” Jan asked with a wink, twirling her hair around her finger.

Jackie gasped, putting her hand to her chest as if she were clutching pearls. “Janice Sport, you are naughty,” she chastised, her tone intentionally overdramatic.

“Then you should punish me,” she answered without missing a beat.

Instead of verbally answering, Jackie just scooped Jan up in her arms and carried her into the bedroom. She pushed Jan’s unbuttoned shirt off her shoulders and laid her down on the bed. “Now that you mention it, I think that’s exactly what you deserve.” She stood up and looked Jan over. “Strip for me.”

“You’re not gonna shoot me, are you?” Jan joked, referencing the scene in the musical. She didn’t wait for an answer, stripping down to nothing regardless.

“Mm… No, not this time,” she teased. She took her time undressing, making sure Jan never took her eyes off of her. It was a rush of confidence, of power, it stirred something up in her and she felt such an urge to act on it. She moved closer, then pulled Jan to sit at the edge of the bed, tilting her chin up with two fingers. “Now, what am I going to do with you?”

Jan opened her mouth to respond, but Jackie pressed a finger to her lips. Not an actual question, got it. When Jackie kissed her, she readily reciprocated, wondering if she was planning the next steps or just dragging it out to tease her. It didn’t matter to her, really, she was eager for whatever Jackie was going to do.

And Jackie was just trying to figure out what to do. She had this beautiful girl, naked and ready for her to do what she pleased. As much as she liked this rush of power, it came with an odd sense of pressure too. But then an idea hit. “Lay on your back.”

Jan’s brow rose in interest, but she obeyed and laid on her back. Her eyes followed as Jackie as she walked across the room and rifled through a drawer. And when she realized Jackie was returning with a silk scarf, her heart started beating faster.

“Arms above your head,” Jackie instructed, then tied Jan’s wrists together. “Naughty girls don’t get to touch. Not me, not yourself. Just lay there like a good girl,” she cooed.

Jan whined because now that she was specifically told otherwise, all she wanted was to get her hands on Jackie. But then she watched Jackie disappear between her legs, and suddenly her whining turned to moaning.

Jackie’s hands firmly held Jan’s hips down against the bed. Her tongue traced along her slit before slowly circling her clit. She let her tongue dip inside her, thrusting and curling in ways that made Jan moan louder and writhe up more desperately. “Stay still or I’ll stop,” she warned firmly.

“Fuck, sorry, sorry,” Jan panted, finally willing herself to stay put. It felt far too good and she would do just about anything to keep it going. There was a brief moment of torturous nothingness, followed by the blissful relief of feeling Jackie’s tongue on her clit once more.

As Jackie continued sucking on and lapping at Jan’s clit, she eased a finger inside of her, pace rapidly building up until she was roughly fucking her with one, then two fingers. Her other hand alternated between holding Jan down and moving up to grope at her breasts. She felt and tasted perfect, every inch of her, and Jackie quickly found herself getting addicted to the girl.

If Jackie was starting to get addicted, Jan was fully hooked. Her moans were shamelessly, pornographically loud. If her hands weren’t tied, they’d be grabbing anything they could – Jackie, the comforter, she desperately needed something in her grasp. But all she could do was focus her energy on staying still, which was growing increasingly difficult. “Jackie, I – fuck – I’m close, so close, shit…”

“Go on,” Jackie encouraged. “Come for me.”

It had hardly taken more than that. A moan ripped through Jan as her orgasm hit, and she couldn’t help but buck up as she rode it out.

Jackie decided to let that slide, fucking her just as fervently through her orgasm, even continuing for a moment after she knew she was spent. “Hm,” she started as she finally moved to untie Jan’s wrists, “I think you’ve learned your lesson, haven’t you?”

“Uh-huh,” Jan nodded eagerly as she shook out her hands. “Wait, let me get you off too,” she insisted, reaching out to tug on Jackie’s arm. “Sit on my face.”

“I just can’t say ‘no’ to you,” Jackie chuckled. Despite giving in to Jan, she did wait until the brunette had caught her breath before she went on to straddle her face.

But as soon as Jackie was in position, Jan happily got to work. She gripped onto Jackie’s ass to hold her steady as she made quick work of sucking and licking at her.

Jackie held still at first, not wanting to overwhelm Jan. But when she was certain she was fine, she relaxed, rolling her hips steadily as she rode her face. “Fuck, Jan…”

Jan couldn’t help but be proud of herself when she realized she was having the same effect on Jackie as she did on her. She was an overachiever, even in bed. So, it became something of a self-imposed challenge to get Jackie off as fast as she could, not willing to stop until she had the older girl shaking.

And it ended up not taking long at all. Jackie was nearly as loud as Jan when she came, gripping onto the headboard as her hips rocked, then eventually slowed to a halt. “Jesus, fuck…” she exhaled as she moved to lay beside her. “Is there anything you can’t do with your mouth?” she teased.

“Whistle,” Jan replied with a shrug, which made both of them fall into a brief fit of giggles. She then cuddled up against Jackie. “You mind if I stay the night? I promise I’ll still be here in the morning.”

“Sure,” Jackie nodded, trying to sound casual, like she wouldn’t have cared either way if she got to wake up to Jan. “I’ll make breakfast.”

Jan nodded and let out a yawn. “Pancakes, please,” she murmured. This was fine, she thought. They had sex, and nothing felt weird. They could keep doing this, she told herself. There was nothing wrong with them just sleeping together, right?

[missjanjie]

Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer) | (4/?)

Title: Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer) Summary: A sequel to Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dancer. Brooke Lynn and Vanessa are back at NYU, but with new and improved positions. Brooke’s ready to start her career as a professor when, as fate would have it, she realizes her TA, Jackie, might have the hots for a student named Jan. The couple just might see it as a sign to give two new girls the love story they found in the same place. Word Count: ~3k (this chapter) / ~12k (total) Relationship(s): Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo), Jankie (Jan Sport/Jackie Cox) Rating: E

read on ao3 | ko-fi

“I feel like I should at least pretend to be surprised. I don’t wanna come off as arrogant, you know?” Jan mused as she and Gigi walked back from the auditorium. She’d gone in just to pick up her script after securing her spot in the musical as Veronica, something she felt this whole week was leading up to. Something that made all of the chaos more bearable. “But this just… it feels right, right?”

Gigi chuckled softly and nodded. “Yeah, we all knew you had this in the bag. But I like the confidence you have, I’m proud of you, and you totally deserve this.”

Jan wrapped her arm around Gigi, hugging her from the side. “Thanks, I still needed to hear that,” she admitted. They continued walking in silence before she hesitantly told her, “I wanna tell Jackie. Despite what happened, she did help me a lot when it came to preparing for the audition.”

Gigi’s eyes lit up and she nodded enthusiastically. “Are you kidding? This is the perfect excuse to go talk to her! Even if things are weird, I’m sure she does actually want to know if you got the role. And if all goes well, you could always… thank her for her help,” she winked.

“Do you have any ideas about anything that doesn’t involve sex?” she asked.

“Hm… No, not really. Where’s the fun in that?”

Jan shook her head, she couldn’t have really expected anything else. But with Gigi, in its own weird way, it was almost endearing. “I appreciate the effort,” she told her with a wry grin. While she wasn’t exactly planning on following Gigi’s advice, she knew she was going to have to pluck up the courage to reach out to Jackie – she wanted to be the first to tell her about the role.

So, she texted her. Nothing dramatic, simply ‘I have good news, can we talk about it over coffee?’ and she sent it quickly before she could overanalyze and rewrite it. Though she was holding her breath until she received a text back, reading ‘sure, can be there in ten :)’.

By the time Jan made it to the coffee shop, she had managed to talk herself out of her nerves. She had to remind herself that before anything else, Jackie is a teacher, she knew how to be professional. And she could be professional too. They could have a professional friendship. As long as she didn’t look her right in the eye.

Jackie was notoriously early to everything – something Jan had only learned through passive gossip – so she wasn’t terribly surprised to see her sitting and waiting at a table with her coffee in hand. “Hey,” she greeted with a smile as she sat down and took a sip of her own drink.

“Hey you,” Jackie hummed. “So, what’s the big news?” she asked, trying not to give away that she strongly suspected the answer.

Either Jan didn’t notice or didn’t let it dampen her enthusiasm if she did. “I got the role! I’m gonna be Veronica,” she announced with a bright smile.

Jackie set her cup down and clasped her hands together. “Oh my god, that’s great!” She reached out, hand gently grasping Jan’s wrist. “I’m so happy for you, I knew you could do it.”

Jan smiled warmly. She missed the feeling of Jackie’s hand on her, even in a manner as simple as that. Even though she’d only experienced it briefly and drunkenly before, it felt comforting and familiar. “I definitely have you to thank in part for that. Who knows how hard I could’ve flopped if I picked the wrong song,” she mused.

“I don’t think it would’ve been possible for you to flop,” she retorted. “I think you could’ve sung the dictionary and they still would’ve given you the part.”

“Still, I’m glad I went to see you,” Jan finally got herself to make eye contact with Jackie. If nothing else, she wanted to convey that she was glad every part of that night happened, that she didn’t have any regrets, that the only thing she would’ve changed is running away in the morning. She doubted all of that would come across, but if she was lucky, the important parts would.

And Jackie seemed to at least try to understand what Jan meant. She smiled, she nodded, she rubbed her hand up and down Jan’s arm. “I’m glad you went to see me too,” she told her, voice holding just as many layers of emotion.

Jan smiled, biting down on her lip. “So, if I ever need someone to rehearse with…”

Jackie arched her brow. “Just rehearse?”

Blushing, she looked down. “Well, we’ll see where it goes, won’t we?” She strummed her fingers against the table as she took a long sip. “Maybe tonight?”

“Yeah,” Jackie breathed out, “I can do tonight.”

------

Going to see Jackie this time felt different. Jan was going in knowing the strong possibility of them having sex, and it took away a lot of pressure. It got rid of the fear of the unknown that had followed them ever since the morning after. She texted Jackie that she was in front of her apartment, then bounced on the balls of her feet as she waited.

“Hey,” Jackie greeted warmly as she ushered Jan inside. She looked her over curiously. “Whose letterman jacket is that?”

Jan looked over at her with a grin. “Mine,” she chirped. “I played soccer in high school. I kinda wanted to get into the mood of playing a high schooler. I was gonna get my old catholic school uniform, but…”

Jackie pouted playfully. “Don’t tease me like that,” she whined. “What, didn’t wanna take a ride out to Jersey?”

“Exactly!”

She chuckled softly. “Fair enough. You want anything to drink? Have you eaten?”

“I did,” Jan assures. “I’ll just take a water bottle or something if you’ve got one.”

Jackie nodded and fished one out of the fridge. “Heads up!” She tossed the bottle towards Jan, who was ready to catch it, but she had botched the throw terribly and it landed at the foot of the couch instead.

Jan giggled and picked it up. “Good effort!”

“Don’t patronize me, I have astigmatism,” she retorted with a dry laugh, grabbing a water bottle for herself. She didn’t want to say it out loud – lest she make Jan feel bad – but she was relieved that they had both decided not to drink. They needed time together with clear minds. And if something did happen, she wanted to remember every second of it.

“Were you in any clubs in high school?” Jan asked, deciding to change the subject.

“Other than theatre? I did student council, that was pretty fun, even though I know that’s about the nerdiest thing I could say.”

The younger student shrugged. “Hey, it helped get you here, so that’s all that really matters, right?”

Jackie tilted her head in thought for a moment. “Huh, yeah, I guess you’re right,” she decided, taking a swig of water. “Anyway, do you want to start with your lines or songs?”

“I feel like the songs take up a lot more of the show, that should probably take precedent,” Jan mused.

“Alright, which do you wanna start with?”

She hesitated. “There’s one I’m still nervous about getting right, don’t laugh…”

Jackie furrowed her brows but gestured for Jan to continue.

“Dead Girl Walking,” Jan admitted. “I just… I don't know how to be sexy and lustful on stage, and it’s such a passionate song… I don’t know, I just haven’t worked through that awkwardness yet, and I can feel it coming out when I practice,” she explained, then noticed the way Jackie was looking at her. “Don’t give me that face, it’s different when it’s in front of an audience and specifically choreographed.”

She chuckled softly, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Sorry, sorry. I’m just struggling trying to conjure up the mental image of you not being able to do sexy.” In fact, the only mental image she could conjure up was the one of Jan half-naked, grinding on her thigh. But she did want to help and pressed her lips together as she tried to think of a plan. “Why don’t you just try singing it through first? Close your eyes and picture what you want to be able to do.”

Jan nodded, taking her phone out to get the music going. “Okay, yeah, I think that’ll work,” she decided. She pressed play on the instrumental-only music and set her phone down before closing her eyes and starting to sing.

Jackie nodded as she listened, waiting for the lines that would lead to her supplying the dialogue.

“Before they punch my clock I'm snappin' off your window lock Got no time to knock I'm a dead girl walking”

“Veronica? What are you doing in my room?” Jackie’s eyes were trained on Jan as she spoke. She noticed Jan’s posture seemed to relax like she took comfort and reassurance in her voice.

“Shh…” Jan was delivering the line, but also calming herself down with an exhaled breath.

“Sorry, but I really had to wake you See, I decided I must ride you till I break you…”

As Jan continued to sing, Jackie slowly, quietly got up and walked up behind her. She slipped off the letterman jacket and tossed it aside, then rested her hands on Jan’s hips, pressing kisses against the back of her neck.

Jan shuddered softly but didn’t break focus. She picked up on what Jackie was trying to do right away, and she thought it was a true testament to Jackie’s quick-thinking brilliance.

“Come on! Tonight I'm yours I'm your dead girl walkin'...”

Jackie leaned forward a bit, picking just the right spot to bite down and leave a hickey. It was clear what she was trying to communicate – ‘that’s right, you’re mine, keep singing for me’. But as the tone of the song became gentle, so did her touches. She raked her fingers through Jan’s hair, releasing it from the ponytail it was in, while her opposite arm wrapped securely around her waist. She knew to keep it nice and calm until her next cue.

“Let's make this beautiful!”

Jackie smirked and spun Jan around to face her. “That works for me.” She knew how the choreography for the number went and eased right into it – she pulled Jan into a kiss and held her close as she backed onto the couch, falling onto it with Jan straddling her lap.

Jan finally opened her eyes when her next singing cue hit. The passion she had failed to capture in her words came out in full force now. They hit every physical cue – she lightly slapped Jackie’s cheek, Jackie pulled her hair and pulled her shirt open, then moved her hands up Jan’s torso and to her breasts.

They rolled their hips together in time with the beat, punctuating every ‘yeah’, and Jackie swore the arousal she saw on Jan’s face was real by the time the music faded out.

And Jan was breathless, her face flushed red. She was searching for words, but there just didn’t seem like there was a good way to ease out of this quasi-performance mode.

“I think you’ll be able to do it now,” Jackie mused, her arms looped casually around Jan’s waist. “I knew you had it in you.”

“Is that the only thing I’m getting in me tonight?” Jan asked with a wink, twirling her hair around her finger.

Jackie gasped, putting her hand to her chest as if she were clutching pearls. “Janice Sport, you are naughty,” she chastised, her tone intentionally overdramatic.

“Then you should punish me,” she answered without missing a beat.

Instead of verbally answering, Jackie just scooped Jan up in her arms and carried her into the bedroom. She pushed Jan’s unbuttoned shirt off her shoulders and laid her down on the bed. “Now that you mention it, I think that’s exactly what you deserve.” She stood up and looked Jan over. “Strip for me.”

“You’re not gonna shoot me, are you?” Jan joked, referencing the scene in the musical. She didn’t wait for an answer, stripping down to nothing regardless.

“Mm… No, not this time,” she teased. She took her time undressing, making sure Jan never took her eyes off of her. It was a rush of confidence, of power, it stirred something up in her and she felt such an urge to act on it. She moved closer, then pulled Jan to sit at the edge of the bed, tilting her chin up with two fingers. “Now, what am I going to do with you?”

Jan opened her mouth to respond, but Jackie pressed a finger to her lips. Not an actual question, got it. When Jackie kissed her, she readily reciprocated, wondering if she was planning the next steps or just dragging it out to tease her. It didn’t matter to her, really, she was eager for whatever Jackie was going to do.

And Jackie was just trying to figure out what to do. She had this beautiful girl, naked and ready for her to do what she pleased. As much as she liked this rush of power, it came with an odd sense of pressure too. But then an idea hit. “Lay on your back.”

Jan’s brow rose in interest, but she obeyed and laid on her back. Her eyes followed as Jackie as she walked across the room and rifled through a drawer. And when she realized Jackie was returning with a silk scarf, her heart started beating faster.

“Arms above your head,” Jackie instructed, then tied Jan’s wrists together. “Naughty girls don’t get to touch. Not me, not yourself. Just lay there like a good girl,” she cooed.

Jan whined because now that she was specifically told otherwise, all she wanted was to get her hands on Jackie. But then she watched Jackie disappear between her legs, and suddenly her whining turned to moaning.

Jackie’s hands firmly held Jan’s hips down against the bed. Her tongue traced along her slit before slowly circling her clit. She let her tongue dip inside her, thrusting and curling in ways that made Jan moan louder and writhe up more desperately. “Stay still or I’ll stop,” she warned firmly.

“Fuck, sorry, sorry,” Jan panted, finally willing herself to stay put. It felt far too good and she would do just about anything to keep it going. There was a brief moment of torturous nothingness, followed by the blissful relief of feeling Jackie’s tongue on her clit once more.

As Jackie continued sucking on and lapping at Jan’s clit, she eased a finger inside of her, pace rapidly building up until she was roughly fucking her with one, then two fingers. Her other hand alternated between holding Jan down and moving up to grope at her breasts. She felt and tasted perfect, every inch of her, and Jackie quickly found herself getting addicted to the girl.

If Jackie was starting to get addicted, Jan was fully hooked. Her moans were shamelessly, pornographically loud. If her hands weren’t tied, they’d be grabbing anything they could – Jackie, the comforter, she desperately needed something in her grasp. But all she could do was focus her energy on staying still, which was growing increasingly difficult. “Jackie, I – fuck – I’m close, so close, shit…”

“Go on,” Jackie encouraged. “Come for me.”

It had hardly taken more than that. A moan ripped through Jan as her orgasm hit, and she couldn’t help but buck up as she rode it out.

Jackie decided to let that slide, fucking her just as fervently through her orgasm, even continuing for a moment after she knew she was spent. “Hm,” she started as she finally moved to untie Jan’s wrists, “I think you’ve learned your lesson, haven’t you?”

“Uh-huh,” Jan nodded eagerly as she shook out her hands. “Wait, let me get you off too,” she insisted, reaching out to tug on Jackie’s arm. “Sit on my face.”

“I just can’t say ‘no’ to you,” Jackie chuckled. Despite giving in to Jan, she did wait until the brunette had caught her breath before she went on to straddle her face.

But as soon as Jackie was in position, Jan happily got to work. She gripped onto Jackie’s ass to hold her steady as she made quick work of sucking and licking at her.

Jackie held still at first, not wanting to overwhelm Jan. But when she was certain she was fine, she relaxed, rolling her hips steadily as she rode her face. “Fuck, Jan…”

Jan couldn’t help but be proud of herself when she realized she was having the same effect on Jackie as she did on her. She was an overachiever, even in bed. So, it became something of a self-imposed challenge to get Jackie off as fast as she could, not willing to stop until she had the older girl shaking.

And it ended up not taking long at all. Jackie was nearly as loud as Jan when she came, gripping onto the headboard as her hips rocked, then eventually slowed to a halt. “Jesus, fuck…” she exhaled as she moved to lay beside her. “Is there anything you can’t do with your mouth?” she teased.

“Whistle,” Jan replied with a shrug, which made both of them fall into a brief fit of giggles. She then cuddled up against Jackie. “You mind if I stay the night? I promise I’ll still be here in the morning.”

“Sure,” Jackie nodded, trying to sound casual, like she wouldn’t have cared either way if she got to wake up to Jan. “I’ll make breakfast.”

Jan nodded and let out a yawn. “Pancakes, please,” she murmured. This was fine, she thought. They had sex, and nothing felt weird. They could keep doing this, she told herself. There was nothing wrong with them just sleeping together, right?

[purplesurveys]

1105

surveys by seachaange

What do you do when someone is talking to you about something you don't care about? I listen and try to ask questions or add my own input so that they can see that even though I personally don’t care about the thing they’re talking about, I’m invested in them.

What is the best pizza place in your neighbourhood? Erm, we don’t really have a lot of independent pizza joints, actually. Most of the ones I see are chain restaurants like Pizza Hut and Domino’s. The best pizza I’ve had is from Vu’s at Marco Polo, but it’s been a whileeeee since I’ve had their food. Mama Lou’s pizza is also good.

Do you have Photoshop installed on your computer? I do but I only had it installed for school. I have no personal interest to learn it.

Are there any teachers you have that you are close with? I wouldn’t say that. I’m kinda chummy with one of my English teachers from high school - like he knew about me and Gab and supported us, I show my support for his art, we greet each other every now and then, etc - but we’re not ‘close.’

Do you have friends that play field hockey? No.

What about soccer? Not friends but I do know a number people who play football, yeah.

Do you think homosexuals are leading a bad lifestyle? This question aged like milk, didn’t it...

What do you think of the iPad? I remember when it blew up like crazy. It was such a revolutionary thing back when it was new, so much so that my dad even felt the need to buy one. It was fun when the hype lasted; but nowadays I don’t know people who would still seek out an iPad other than artists and law/med students, lmfao.

Do you put lotion on after you get out of the shower? I don’t.

Do you have any concerts on dvd? A lot, but they’re of concerts from a time when DVDs were still a thing. I haven’t had a new DVD in around 7-8 years.

Do you still have a VHS player? I think my parents have thrown theirs out already.

Has anyone ever given you a promise ring? No.

Do you send postcards to people when you go on vacation? I don’t. But aw, this made me remember when Jo did a summer exchange program in London and she sent postcards to Aya in the few months that she had been away. I thought that was sweet.

What do you think is the most comfortable shoe? Out of the pairs I have, my Onitsuka Tiger shoes for sure.

Have you seen Lady Gaga's music video for Telephone? That was suuuuuuch a big deal when it came out. Yes, I definitely have and I must’ve watched it a thousand times. Also rude, Beyoncé was in there too lol

If so, what do you think of it? It was so creative and a lot of fun to watch, especially for 2009 when artists weren’t exactly daring with music video concepts yet. I can’t believe they never collaborated again since.

What do you think of the septum piercing? It’s great.

Do you frequently skip class? Depends on my interest in the class/the professor, OR how tired I am that week. I skipped my psychology elective a lot because I didn’t think the instructor was all that great; and as much as I loved every single one of my history classes, there were a few sessions I voluntarily had to skip because I wasn’t doing mentally well. It really depends.

--

When you're really thirsty, what do you enjoy drinking most? Water. Anything else wouldn’t be able to quench my thirst as well.

What do you find inspirational in the world? I think it differs based on what I need to see at a given time, I guess. At this point in my life, I like hearing from people who have risen from their trust and abandonment issues, because it’s what I’ve been going through as well. I probably never would’ve found something like that inspirational, say, 6 months ago, so it really depends.

When hanging out with your bf or gf, what do you like doing most? I’m a very ‘let’s spend time in silence’ type of person. I cherished it the most when my ex and I would go to a coffee shop and work for hours, in complete and comfortable silence; or when I would be driving and no words would be exchanged for nearly the entire ride. Even though I stay quiet, in those moments I’m actually very happy. Of course new experiences are great too, but I personally enjoy the conventional ‘boring’ stuff the most when with a partner.

What do/did you think of your high school? Teeming with homophobia, bigotry, and just your typical Catholic gatekeepy judgmental environment. I look back at high school fondly because of the friends I made, not because of the toxic environment they nurtured in there.

What is the dirtiest rap song you have ever heard? I don’t listen to a lot of rap. But as an 11 year old listening to Nicki Minaj’s Itty Bitty Piggy, I was immediately traumatized lmao. I still can’t listen to that song.

What about a dirty song in any other genre? Uhhhhhhhhh probably Drunk in Love?? Lmaoooo I’d die for Beyoncé a million times but I always skip that song. My asexual ass just can’t deal.

What is a genre of music you simply can't stand? One of them is techno.

What is, in your opinion, the best way of dealing with a break up? Being kind to yourself.

What flavour of Doritos do you like best? I’ve only ever tried the nacho cheese flavor, but I love that one.

Where do you do your grocery shopping? I don’t do the grocery shopping in the family but my parents usually do it at SM or at this local store we have nearby.

Would you ever go to a comedy club? Yes, with a friend so I’d be more comfortable.

Do you think Victoria's Secret is overpriced? I haven’t been in one of their stores in a while, so I can’t really say.

Do you still have a VHS player? Again, I don’t think so.

Do you have a tumblr? :))))))

Why is it that photography is becoming a trend? So this survey was made in 2010 and I can definitely confirm it was a crazy huge trend lol. Even I got into it and asked my parents to get me a DSLR back then. Anyway, I think it was because during this time, DSLRs had been slowly becoming a thing? and they were kiiiiiiiinda cheap - at least cheap enough to be accessible to a large amount of people - so it allowed people to play with different styles that were very unfamiliar at the time, like light painting, fisheye, close-ups, etc. And then at one point everyone had DSLRs and it just wasn’t as enjoyable anymore because everyone was doing the same kinds of trendy shots lol.

What is the funniest movie you have ever seen? I’m gonna go with The Proposal - Sandra Bullock was gold in that movie.

Did you watch American Idol this past season? No. Do they still air new seasons of that?? I stopped watching when the same guitar-playing, country-singing white men kept winning.

If so, how did you feel about the winner? It’s been more than a decade since I last cared for the show.

Don't you hate it when one of your earbuds stops working? Sure.

Do you have a normal landline, or do you use MagicJack? Holy shit I have not heard of MagicJack in a goddamn WHILE lmao, what a throwback. We had one, I’m pretty sure...but I never knew what it was for.

Do you even use a house phone anymore? Landlines are still common in the Philippines. Are they not in other countries? Hahahaha.

Would you ever consider dating someone who lived across the country? If I loved, trusted, and was committed to them enough, yes.

What was the most expensive restaurant you've ever eaten at? I wasn’t able to track the name but I’m pretty sure it was the fine dining restaurant in our cruise trip that my parents treated me to for my birthday.

Do/did you take foods classes in high school? My school didn’t offer such a class, but we had home economics and we were occasionally taught how to cook and bake certain dishes.

Do you have a tattoo? No, not yet.

If you do, describe the pain you went thru when getting it done. Eugh this is what I’m scared of :((((

Do you enjoy making hemp necklaces and bracelets? I’ve never tried.

Have you ever watched the show Strangers With Candy? I’ve never even heard of it before, I’m sure.

What is your favourite bookstore? Fully Booked, because their collection is expansive, always complete, and they let you take a book of the shelves and read it if you’d like.

Have you ever used torrents? Mostly throughout high school. I did use a torrent to download Midsommar recently, though.

How can we tell if you are in a bad mood? I go quiet.

How are you when you're in a really good mood? Complete opposite - I will be bubbly and chatty, especially in instances when I’m not really expected to be.

Are you nice to everyone, even people you don't like? Yes.

When you're bored in class, what do you do? I seldom found myself bored in class because I’m constantly furiously taking notes. But if the prof themselves are very boring and there’s nothing to take notes about, I go ahead and check my social media either from my phone or laptop.

--

Would you rather go to Lollapalooza, Warped Tour, or Bonnaroo? As a teenager, I had always wanted to go to Warped Tour. As I’ve gotten older, though, the lineups for Lollapalooza have appealed to me more. Plus it’s in Chicago, soooooo a million more brownie points for that.

Do you have anything that is autographed? By who? Yeah, I have an autographed poster of AJ Lee. It was my most prized possession and I even placed it on a big picture frame and had it up on my wall for yearsssssssss, and then my mom had to take it down because of course it’s my mom and of course she had to do it.

Can you sleep when it's really hot? Welcome to summer months in the Philippines.

Do you know anyone who works at McDonald's? I think Carley does, but idk if that’s changed in the last few months. I don’t stay updated about her life, haven’t been for years.

Do you have a debit card? Yes.

What bank do you (or your family) use? I am not sharing that lol.

Would you ever hitchhike? I think I’m mostly open to it, though I will say I’ve read enough stories about murders that involve hitchhiking that make me a little scared of the idea, hahah.

Have you ever been kayaking? We did a boat thing in Palawan a few years ago but I’m not sure if that was kayaking or canoeing. Anywho, the experience was breathtaking.

Do you have a problem with swimming in a pond or lake? In the context of my country, yeah, because our natural bodies of water aren’t exactly...the cleanest, lmao. I’d feel much more comfortable swimming in a private beach.

Does anyone in your family go hunting or fishing? Nope. But maybe some of my relatives living in the US do?? Idk for sure.

What do/did you do when someone you barely knew asks you to sign their yearbook? We don’t really practice that. Only the really expensive, bougie, international schools here that have foreign students to begin with do that, I think.

In high school are you/were you in the plays and musicals? No.

Do you have a birdbath in your yard? No, we don’t.

Is the house you live in old or new? It’s fairly new; we had it first built in 2005 and we officially moved in 2008.

Where do you go when you need a new pair of sneakers? Depends on what brand I’m in the mood to buy.

Do you make New Year's Resolutions, or do you not even bother? I typically don’t.

Most annoying commercial? Haven’t been paying attention to them lately.

What does your favourite bathing suit look like? It’s just a simple black bikini but its overall shape and design is super cute and chic.

Do you like Silly Bandz? No.

If you do, how many do you have and what are your favourite shapes?

What do you think of My Super Sweet 16? I never watched it because I feel like I’d only get stressed if I did.

Do you have mini-blinds in your house? I have pull-down window shades in my room, not blinds.

Do you rent your home or do you own it? My parents own it.

What is your favourite song right now? Trigger by Hayley Williams.

Do you use Firefox? Nope.

Do you have a pool in your backyard? We don’t.

Do you have a gym membership? No.

Favourite field trip you've ever been on? Freshman year of high school when we went to two museums :)

[gaytransmalefeedist417]

Love Least Expected Part 9

When Jake woke up he quietly grabbed one of Samu's hoodies and quietly left Samu's room to grab his black pinstripe suit from the back of the door. Jake grabbed his tin of Kiwi black shoe polish to shine his shoes to be extra sure to look his best, grabbed his personal blend of cologne which was frankincense and sage. Set everything on his bed and went to make Samu some bacon roses, and nutella on toast with some cherry milkshake.

Jake took the small breakfast over to Samu's room and left it on the bedside table and kissed Samu on his big, pillowy left cheek before heading to the shower.

Samu caught a whiff of the bacon and nutella and woke up when Jake was in the shower washing up.

Samu dug into the toast with a slow, savoring nature by picking off one of the meaty, greasy, salty blossoms before taking a bite of the toast to get the rest of the sweet flavor of the nutella on his tongue to blend with the bacon.

By the time Jake was washed and walking out in his robe and fresh pair of Thinx Samu was drinking the cherry milkshake and daydreaming of last night's sexual encounter with Jake.

Samu's daydream was interrupted by Jake saying "Huomenta korvapusti(Good morning cinnamon roll)" Samu stopped slurping his milkshake and responded "And a good morning to you too my sweet, little wake up call."

"Ready to help me with the eulogy or do you still need a moment?" Jake asked

Samu responded, " Yeah I'll need a moment to freshen up and get dressed."

"Okay" Jake responds and heads to his room to get dressed and slick back his hair.

"Jake?" Samu calls out.

"What is it babe?" Jake responds.

"I don't have a suit." Samu replies.

"Not to worry, my mother and I will help you out." Jake assured him.

Jake made a scrambled egg and a small piece of toast with garlic, salt, and olive oil on it.

Roksana handed Jake some cash and assured him by saying "Tell your uncle Reggie that you need one quick and classy for Samu since the funeral won't be until around 2:00pm."

"Sure thing mom we have about a good 5 hours which should give us some ground to cover." Jake reassured her as Samu entered the kitchen with his dishes in a white button down, a black tee shirt, khaki slacks, and black loafers.

Both of them rushed off to the tailor shop his uncle owned down the block and walked into the shop with the little bell on the door ringing as they walked into a huge showroom of suits and dress shoes. Jake screamed "Uncle Reggie, you free at the moment?!"

Reggie walked out from the back room tall, lanky, and with jet black hair with a few silver streaks on his widow's peak wearing a black, velvet suit with a pair of silver, semi circle, half rimmed glasses, sporting a pair of black patent leather dress shoes.

"Do you carry a size 5XL or a 6XL?" Jake asked as he was hugging onto Samu's right arm.

"Jake you haven't changed a bit my crazy nephew, you always dated the big and tall section despite being so darn tiny."Reggie chuckled from his booming voice and grabbed a few black suits from both the 5 and 6XL area with a dress shirt while Jake looked at shoes for Samu.

Samu tried on the first suit from the 5XL in a pin stripe similar to Jake's and asked "How does it look?!"

Jake looked over at Reggie and asked "Do you have something modern but flattering?"

Reggie responded, "No problem and had Samu try out a classic, black, modern cut in a 6XL for some give."

Jake responded "It's perfect." He reached for the cash and also asked, "How much for the tie, pocket square, and shoes as well?"

Reggie refused the money and said "He's part of the family now."

Jake blushed and thanked him.

"We were talking while you were picking out the shoes, tie, and square and I noticed he was wearing your mother's engagement ring on a chain around his neck". Reggie pointed out.

Jake responded, "He met your brother just minutes before he died, he wanted Samu to take care of me and handed us Mom's engagement ring before he flat lined. It was what he wanted."

Reggie choked up, "He didn't want you to be alone and he was afraid because you were being yourself would make you lonely. He found out from Sister Eusebius, he didn't know how to react after all that had happened."

Jake handed Reggie the last written words of his brother. Reggie unfolded the piece of paper and choked up.

Jake asked, "Would you like to sit down and have me grab some water from the break room?" Reggie sat down and responded, "Yeah, you'll find some bottles in the fridge."

Jake dashed to the back and opened up the fridge, grabbed a bottle of water and dashed back to hand his uncle the water.

Reggie cracked the bottle of water open and took a sip and sighed very deeply to regain his composure on the grey, leather, antique style, lobby sofa while Samu sat on a black, velvet chaise, and Jake sat on an electric blue, velvet seti.

Jake took out his olive green Moleskin book to get started in on writing the eulogy and asked his uncle "Would you like us to stick around a bit longer or should we all head off to the funeral home?"

Reggie responded, "Stay a while, heck both of you help yourselves to the food and the scotch that I have in the filing cabinet in my office."

Jake dashed into the office and reached into the third drawer at the top and shifted the false folders in the back forward and took out the decanter of Dimple Pinch Scotch and grabbed the shot glasses from the back of the very bottom drawer.

He dashed back out and put the bottle of scotch and the shot glasses on the glass top of the coffee table and let Reggie pour the scotch since he was their host.

He served Samu first, Jake grabbed his in suit, and Reggie grabbed his last.

Jake asked, " Should I do the eulogy or would you like to be the one to do the honor?"

Reggie leaned in while slowly nursing his scotch and Samu putting his large hand on Jake's tiny shoulder.

"I ask since I'm still trying to process your brother acting like a father to me for once just literally minutes before he slipped off of the mortal coil." Jake choked up.

"I understand." Reggie replied

Jake handed him the tortoise shell patterned pen with cherry blossoms enameled on it and the tiny olive green moleskin book.

Samu held Jake and said "Let it out, we all need the release."

Jake cried into his shoulder as Samu swigged the scotch.

Reggie got to writing as Jake tried to find his composure before drinking the shot glass of scotch.

When Jake regained his composure despite still in the state of bereavement Reggie completed writing the eulogy.

Jake prepared himself to clear the coffee table and Samu gestured and said " I'll pick it up, you two have taken a lot."

Jake responded still choked up, "All three of us have been through a lot."

Samu cleared the table and asked, "Where do you store the scotch?"

Reggie responded "In the back of the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet in my office."

Samu went to the break room to put the shot glasses in the sink to wash them later and entered the office to put the scotch in its hiding place. While Reggie locked up the back door. Samu returned to the break room to quickly wash and rinse the shot glasses. He returned to the showroom to meet Jake and Reggie.

All three of them left the shop and Reggie locked the front door and caught a taxi to head to the funeral home to make it 30 minutes early. The viewing was still in progress.

They greeted and shook hands with the relatives.

Roksana was by the casket crying, while Jake and Samu were greeting Jake's siblings along with his sister-in-law and future brother-in-law. Roksana held the hand of her husband and kisses him for the last time before going to her seat.

Jake and Samu excused themselves to the "restroom" when in actuality they walked into the showroom of caskets and spotted one designed to fit a 600 pound person.

Jake whispered "Let's wake up the dead, I feel a touch of rigor mortis setting in below my belt".

Samu laid on his back as Jake straddled his stomach and closed the lid. Samu felt under Jake's dress pants as Jake kissed Samu with a burning passion and ground his clit into Samu's stomach, Jake grinded into Samu harder and it built up to thrusting that caused the casket to rumble.

When they were in the middle of climaxing the funeral director who was a close friend of the family opened the casket. Jake apologized profusely to Zhair Simon, the funeral director and he responded, "It's no big deal, you're not the first living couple to be caught waking the dead in an empty casket. I saw 5 crazy instances of widowed spouses pulling necrophila where I had to report all of them to the authorities.

Both of them went to their seats just 5 minutes shy of the service starting.

Reggie walked up to the podium with the tiny, green book in tow. He stated "I guess all of you know why we are here. We are here to mourn the loss of Giovanni Pietro Moretti. Admired son, loving brother, committed husband, devoted father, and innovative business man." My nephew along with his fiancé was able to get his last words in writing. Reggie started to cry Jake, held Samu's hand and both of them walked up to the podium after reassuring him. Jake took the paper.

Jake stated, " I know all of you if not most of you may remember my father speaking fondly of a daughter while speaking of her in grief about her becoming a man, I am to put the claims to rest along with him in a positive nature. I'll read this in exerpted form. He wrote "I will try my best to understand who you are besides it'll be my last hours with the son I never knew I had and the partner of his choosing." He gave me my mother's engagement ring and said "I want to go into eternity knowing my boy isn't alone." He told Samu to take care of me and asked for my prefered name before he left us.

The minister went in and did the formal service stuff and the casket was carried to the cemetery. Jake, Samu, Reggie, Piotr, Guido, and Zhair carried the casket to the resting place as a Catholic priest chanted the funeral rights in Gregorian.

After the service was done. Everyone went to the restaurant that Giovanni built his life around that went over to Roksana for the wake. Samu comforted Jake as he dug into the food in that was served buffet style in the huge dinning hall. He asked Jake "Would you like something honey?"

Jake replied, "Some water and 8 pieces of gnocchi."

Samu asked, " Are you sure? You are 2 days into your period, there is no shame in trying to get a meal in when in grief."

Jake nodded and Samu grabbed a glass of water, a small thing of minestrone soup, and a big plate of gnocchi with alfredo to share with Jake.

Jake was able to eat half of the soup, and muster to eat a quarter of the gnocchi.

Samu said "I'm glad that you're trying to manage through the pain."

They both thanked Jake's mother and said their goodbyes to everyone and returned to the apartment to pack their bags and return to Vermont.

[justjessame]

If Only Someone Looked At Me Like They Look At Guns 9

I was met at the airport by a lovely older Irish priest. He introduced himself and I realized he was my guys’ uncle. Uncle Sibeal, he told me, good luck with that pronunciation, I thought. He took me to Annabelle’s home. I’m not sure what I was expecting, honestly, seeing as I’d only ever spoken with her over the phone.

Annabelle MacManus was a robust and loud woman. I liked her immediately. She reminded me of my own family. Opinionated, a drinker, and one of the strongest women I’d ever met. She took one look at me and asked two questions.

“Did ya brin’ me ol man back wit ye?” I nodded, his body was being brought along tomorrow from the flight I’d paid for him to be on. She smiled at my charity. And followed up with a doozy. “‘Ow far long are ye?”

I felt my knees shake. Dear Lord, I wasn’t even showing. “What do you- I’m not sure I-” I stuttered through several false starts as she stood waiting for her answer. “A month, at most.” I whispered.

She gave a gleeful chuckle and hugged me to her soft body. “Ah, MacManus babies.” She sighed as she gave me a loud kiss on my cheek. “Been far too long since der cradle’s held babes.” She sat me down at her table and ladled something into a bowl, but when the scent of it hit my nose I ran outside and threw up the snacks I’d eaten on the flight. I felt her standing at the door watching and I burned with shame. “Cabbage tis off de menu den.” She announced, and when I came back in the house I noticed the smell was gone.

Sibeal was sitting at the table watching the entire thing. Great, a priest who could judge me harshly. “Ah, I can see dat yer tinkin’ I judge ye fer yer condition.” He shook his head. “Nah gonna happen, my dear.” I sat down beside him and felt him pat my hand. “Not like ye could marry ‘em both, is it?”

I closed my eyes, thinking that the floor swallowing me would be wonderful right about now. Knocked up by at least one twin, unmarried, unemployed, although I was flush with cash because the store sold surprisingly fast, and now sitting in one of the most Catholic countries in the world. Yeah, life was sweet.

“Do ya tink ye can ‘old down dis?” Annabelle asked, pushing some bread in front of me and offering butter. I nodded, and took a slice. Thinly buttering it, I tried not to notice the two of them watching me. “Yer far prettier den I expected.”

Sibeal was nodding. “Do ya remember tat one girl?” He asked, and got Annabelle cackling.

“Da one wit da weird ‘air?” She gasped out between laughter.

“Na, da one wit all da extra holes.” They were now both laughing so hard I thought they’d fall out of their chairs.

I sat, nibbling on my bread, listening to the two of them reminisce about Connor and Murphy’s greatest or most embarrassing hits. I found myself giggling when they got into a story about their fight over some girl. They still did that, not over me, but the fighting.

“Yer good fer dem.” Annabelle declared, looking at the tiny bit of my bread left. “But my grandbabies need more nutrition.”

Grandbabies? Um, no. “I’m sure there’s only-”

“One?” She finished for me. “So was I.” She shook her head and went to find me something else to eat.

FOUR MONTHS LATER~ ANNABELLE’S HOUSE

It was late and I was in my room. Well, it was their room, but Annabelle declared that it was meant for me. The babies had been extra active today and I was worn out. Yes, babies. Jesus (Lord’s name), that woman was clairvoyant. She’d practically danced during the ultrasound that the doctor insisted on when he thought he heard more than one heartbeat. I rolled my eyes at the memory.

Four months in Ireland and I had a new, new normal. I woke early, or as early as I could, and helped Annabelle with the little bit of upkeep that the house required. Then, I walked to the town and worked at a small coffee shop. I’d been granted a work visa pretty quickly, which I chose to not think about, and that made my days go faster. Then home to dinner, which Annabelle was appalled to see had to be bland or everything I’d ever ingested would purge from me.

“Me own blood and dey don like nothin’ good.” She glared at my bump that grew steadily as though they were traitors. “No cabbage, no corned beef. Barely anyting dat has flavor.” She shook her head.

I laughed at her. She was so determined that the babies would be very Irish, that she failed to get that my genetics were strong too. “Guess that’s what happens when two good Irish lads fall in love with a southern American girl.” I would offer, which she’d scoff at and rip off enough Gaelic to make my head spin. I was chuckling to myself, trying to find a position on the bed that would make the babies calm down and let me rest, when I heard a noise downstairs. Looking at my alarm clock I was curious who’d be coming to visit so late at night. Then I heard them. Their voices that I could pick out from halfway across the world. Surely not. They would have told me.

I rolled out of bed and made my way down the stairs. When my foot found the final stair, I could see into the kitchen. And like a dream, there they were. Connor and Murphy MacManus hugging their mom and not having a single idea that I was pregnant.

[justanoutlawfic]

Home: Sentimental (Red Snowing)

I was looking at close up pictures of Emma's nursery and was inspired to make this off the little details.

Also on AO3/FF

Snow hadn’t been lying when she returned from the Enchanted Forest after the curse broke. Emma’s nursery was truly in shambles. Ruby could remember how much hard work and dedication went into putting it together. David and the dwarfs had built the crib. The unicorn mobile was a gift from Cinderella and Thomas. All of the toys had been picked out by the three of them. Geppetto had taken a break from carving the wardrobe to make a beautiful dollhouse with tiny wooden dolls that resembled the dolls and Snow. There was a prince charming doll, along with plenty of other princess ones and stuffed animals. They had purchased an abacus and other things their new daughter would need as she grew. The three of them had put everything up together. There was a place for everything. As always, Snow had a method to her madness.

 Now, that was all for nothing. The crib was turned on its side. Most of the toys had fallen off the shelf and were destroyed. Stuffed animals had footprints dragged across them. Porcelain dolls had cracks in their skin. A teddy bear that never had a chance to be snuggled was already missing an eye as if Emma had loved it her whole life. The unicorn mobile had ended up in Gold’s shop and hadn’t made it back after Pan activated the destruction on the town.

 Lost forever, just like so much of their lives.

 Ruby knew that their second child could not sleep in this nursery. Snow had already selected a second room for them. Even so, Ruby wanted to try to make this old one look at least a little presentable. She couldn’t bare the thought of the place they had put so much work into in such a state.

 As she picked up the broken toys, she moved them into two boxes: one for repair if they looked like they could be and one for those that were too far gone. She looked at the shelf where some of the toys still stood standing. The dollhouse and the tiny wooden dolls had survived. She could see a sheep stuffed animal not far behind them, which brought a small smile to her face. David had found it at a market stand and insisted on buying it. He may have been a prince, but he would never stop being a shepherd at heart.

 “We’ll take her to visit farms when she’s growing up, so she can learn how to feed the animals,” he had told his wives.

 Another dream that died that awful night in this nursery.

 Ruby’s eyes looked upwards on the shelf. The alphabet block they had once purchased were scattered everywhere. Stuffed in the corner was a familiar doll. She picked it up and flicked off the dust. It was handmade, wearing a blue dress and red cape. The doll had dark hair and tiny eyes. Ruby gave it a watery smile as she remembered back to how this toy in particular came to be.

 Red poked her thumb yet again. “Ow!”

David looked up from his book while Snow stopped rubbing lotion on her stomach. “What are you doing, Red?” he asked.

“I’m trying to make a cape for this doll.” She held up the naked figure. “But it’s not working out like I thought.”

“A cape, huh?” David wiggled his eyebrows. “And just why would that doll need a cape?”

Ruby rolled her eyes. “She has a prince charming doll, not to mention that lamb you bought for her. Geppetto made the castle and the representation of Snow. I just want her to have something of me.”

“I think that’s a sweet idea,” Snow piped up.

“I’m just not an expert at knitting and sewing like Granny is.”

“She’s going to love it no matter what,” David said. “Because her Mama made it.”

 Ruby held the doll close to her, thinking about how excited she had been to give it to her daughter. They knew the curse was coming but they were doing everything in their power to stop it. They had hope they would get to raise Emma. In the end, not only had she never gotten to sleep in this nursery, she had never gotten anything from it.

 It wouldn’t feel right to give this to the new baby. She’d make he or she something else. In the meantime, she’d save this. She had to have hope that she hadn’t seen her pup for the last time.

*******************************************************************************************

Christmas in Storybrooke was a huge deal. In the Enchanted Forest, they had the winter solstice with the legend of Father Christmas but that was it. Ruby had to admit she much preferred the holidays in the small town in Maine. Main Street was decorated with bright lights and figurines. They had several festivals and parties to celebrate.

 One holiday that was similar in both the Enchanted Forest and Storybrooke was Hanukkah. Ruby hadn’t grown up celebrating it but once she married Snow, she converted. They all agreed their future children would grow up celebrating the holidays that came with both the Catholic and Jewish religions, since David’s family came from the former. Eva’s family had a beautifully handcrafted menorah that was passed down from generation to generation. Luckily, it had ended up in Gold’s shop. The holiday season after the second curse, he had given it to the Lucas-Charming family free of charge, claiming he couldn’t picture charging them for something like that.

 Emma had never celebrated Hanukkah and Ruby loved getting to watch her daughter do it for the first time alongside their 3-month-old son. It was months after the second curse had broken and things were finally returning to some sort of normal. Henry, Regina, Roland and Robin came by as well for the first night since Regina had celebrated Hanukah with Leopold and Snow during their marriage.

 Despite it being their first Hanukkah in Storybrooke, they wanted to follow the same tradition that they had in the past. They exchanged gifts with one another for some of the nights, while giving to charities that they felt important on the others. It had been a tradition that Eva had started a little after Snow was born and her daughter wanted to keep it up with her own family.

 However, this was the first night of Hanukkah and the family had agreed upon sentimental gifts. Snow had repurposed the unicorn mobile into windchimes for Emma. David had crafted a beautiful wooden frame to put his favorite picture of him and Emma standing in front of the sheriff car for her. Ruby knew immediately what she wanted to give her daughter, but she just wasn’t sure if she was going to be okay with it. It was a bit childish, but it was something that Ruby had wanted to give her daughter for 29 years.

 When time came to exchange presents, it was a bit hectic given their large family. Ruby watched as Emma teared up at her new windchimes and grinned widely when it came to the picture frame which include a quote to remember to enjoy “the moments”. Her packages sat awkwardly in her hands. Eventually, everyone else was busy with each other, so Ruby pulled Emma aside.

“If you hate it, I still have a few nights to make up for it,” Ruby only half-teased.

Emma chuckled. “I’m sure it’s fine.”

 She unwrapped the first package which was a storybook that Ruby had made with the help of Henry. Inside was the real story of how both Ruby had met Snow, then how Ruby had David and how they all became a couple. The Author had left it out of the official version of the storybook for some reason and she wanted Emma to have it. It ended on them finding out they were expecting their first child.

“Mama, this is beautiful,” Emma said, flipping through it.

“Henry drew the pictures,” Ruby admitted. “My artistry skills are not that high. But I wanted to give you this to go along with it. It also has a story.”

 She handed Emma the second package and watched her unwrap it. Emma tilted her head when she saw the doll.

 “You got me a version of you?”

“I made it when Snow was pregnant with you,” Ruby explained. “You were meant to have all these toys that represented us as your parents, so I did this. When we all were back in the Enchanted Forest last year, I found it in your old nursery and tucked it away. When we got back to Storybrooke and your mom went looking for the mobile, I found it.”

“This was always meant to be mine?” Emma asked in wonder.

“I know you’re too old to play with it now, but to me it goes with the book. It’s a part of our story, Emma. It’s a part of how I connected to you, even when you were in Snow’s womb. I had all these plans for you and I want you to know they don’t stop just because I didn’t get to raise you…”

 Emma cut Ruby off by pulling her into a hug. Ruby let out a deep breath and hugged her tighter.

“It’s perfect,” Emma said. “I love it.”

“I’m glad.”

“My present’s kind of lame in comparison.”

“Emma nothing you get me could be lame.”

 Emma pulled away from her, gently setting her presents to the side. She picked up a medium sized package and handed it to Ruby.

“Ironically, Henry helped me with my gift as well.”

 Ruby took off the messy wrapping paper to find a basket. Inside of it was a bag of coffee grinds, a Guns N’ Roses CD, a bottle of red hair dye for streaks and finally, a packet of gummy sharks.

“It’s all stuff that made me get to know you under the curse,” Emma explained. “We used to get coffee together when you worked at the sheriff station. We’d listen to rock music in your Camaro. Mom said you were thinking about highlighting your hair again, like you did under the curse so I threw that in. And the gummy sharks were from when we saw that movie together, the first time we bonded after the curse broke. That was the candy you picked.”

 A watery smile flew across Ruby’s face.

 “Oh, and Henry helped me pick the basket. I was going to wrap them individually but he said Little Red Riding Hood would need one.”

Ruby laughed in spite of her tears. “Of course he did.”

 She pulled Emma back into her arms. Maybe she didn’t carry Emma in her stomach, but there was no doubting that their bond was strong enough to last any curse that came their way.

[miairviin]

Ciao

Ciao! Viva Italia! And more importantly, Spaghetti and Gelato! I am currently writing this entry while in the beautiful city of Rome, Italy. This marks the first trip outside of Greece and it could not have worked out any more perfect. After a quick afternoon flight we arrived at our hostel at around 8pm. The immediate vibe was summer camp, probably because of the tight quarters and the bunk beds that lined our wall. That being said, we are very fortunate to have a private room that the six of us who came to Rome are sharing for the next few nights. We were absolutely famished so we took to the streets to try and find some dinner. Google maps coupled with Yelp has thus far definitely been a key player in our food related adventures. But that particular night we were let down by the pair multiples times. Finally, we stumbled on a restaurant called Il Tunnel. We were driven into the quaint restaurant in part by frustration, but mainly by hunger. That being said, I could not have asked for a better first meal. I was able to go halfsies with Madeline and we had Penne allá Vodka and a Marinara pizza. Words cannot express how good that food tasted. Sure we were hungry so hot garbage probably would have tasted good. But that vodka sauce....the VODKA sauce! If it was socially acceptable, I would have slurped that sauce right off the plate with a straw. And the pizza with its crispness and the tomatoes, the garlic, the cheese. I did not deserve that pizza. Once we were stuffed, we took a quick trip to Google translate where we learned “Il conto por favore” so we could get our check.

Once we left, we were faced with another instance of technology letting us down when we needed it most: on our quest for gelato. It seemed we attempted to find every single gelataria in Rome that night. I was so stuffed from dinner, gelato was not something I was jonesing for but after every failed attempt to locate a gelataria, the craving only seemed to grow. By the time we just so happed to turn down a random street and saw the glorious glow of a front window lined with bins of gelato, my heart was soaring. Madeline and I again went halfsies and split a mystery flavor the gelato man picked for us. If I had to take a guess, it was dark chocolate. Truth be told, I didn’t care what it was. It was downright dangerous how decadent it was. But the taste of triumph was so much sweeter.

The next morning we were up by 7 and within the hour, we were standing before the Coliseum. It was so huge, so awe inspiring. Through all of the wars and all the leaders and all the triumphs the city has faced, this site has managed to stay standing. It was hard to balance the idea of the Coliseum and it’s architectural accomplishments and overall glory with the fact that people died very gruesome deaths there and those deaths were celebrated as sport.

Next, we spent a few hours wandering through the Roman Forum and Paletine Hill. The sites were beautiful and you could practically feel the hustle and bustle of ancient Rome as you meandered through the paths once used as a market. Fragments of life there still remained in the form of statues, sculptures, and religious artifacts.

We refueled at a small bistro where I had my first Italian coffee of the trip. Sorry Greece, this one has to go to Italy. The richness, the bitterness, the sweet edge from the chocolate drizzled over top. There really is no competition.

From there, we ventured to the Trevi Fountain and the Pantheon. Both were so ornate, so beautiful, so breathtaking. I was truly not prepared to feel so small when standing and looking up through the hole of the ceiling of the Pantheon. Or how full of joy I would feel as I threw coins over my shoulder in the hopes I would one day return to this city.

But the highlight of my trip was Via de Leutari 29. As a young woman, my Mamamá lived in Rome for three years and with the help from my cousin who studied in Rome while he was in college, I was able to track down her old apartment at Via de Leuarti 29. It was less than five minutes from the Pantheon and a stones throw away from Piazza Navona where we had dinner that night. I did not to expect to get emotional, but it was a surreal moment for me. The entire time I was in Rome, she was on my mind. Had she walked down this street? Was this shop there when she lived here? Did she drink coffee at that cafe? Standing in the alley she walked through every day made me feel so much closer to her. I even made sure I brought along a scarf she knit so in a way, she finally made it back to Rome too.

The next day we got up even earlier, dragging ourselves to the station to catch the first metro at 5:30 in the morning to catch our 6:02am train. I say 6:02 precisely because those 120 seconds were quite valuable to us, as we were literally taking our seats as the train pulled away. It was a close call, but we were on the train and bound for Florence, Italy. My beautiful friends had constructed an amazing and efficient itinerary for these days, so once we got off of the train, we headed straight to see David. The entire museum was filled with religious and historical art that bent my mind with its detail and color and precision and accuracy. My mind is still filled with all of the different paintings and the sculptures I passed by. But David did indeed steal the show. He stood so much taller than I had anticipated and the early morning light showered him in a soft glow. An image that will stay with me for a very long time.

After David, we set off to find the Duomo. After Delphi and Rome, I had grown accustomed to being shocked. But nothing could have prepared me for the Duomo. The cathedral so ginormous I could not fit it into a picture. There was painstaking detail all over, from the statues that lined the roof and corners to the intricate exterior. We agreed to return later to go inside and see what it was all about.

Madeline, Tiana, and I wandered around the city stopping to admire the architecture and the views and flipping coins to decide what street to turn down. These are the days I cherish. The days where we have nothing to do but be and enjoy. And be and enjoy I did. Florence was beautiful with its random spurts of greenery and the green shutters of orange apartment buildings or blue shutters on coral buildings or red shutters on yellow buildings. It was eclectic, looking almost as if someone mixed and matched every color imaginable to construct the skyline and alleyways. We joined up with the rest of our group later that day where we found an absolutely gorgeous lookout spot for the sunset. We saw the entire city. The tops of churches, the tops of apartment buildings, and the tops of business all sitting on top of the river below. Another view I will not soon forget.

Then we returned for Duomo. This took a little bit of smarts because there was a mass going on and we had seen the security out front turn away eager tourists. But we were getting inside that building. Being the good Catholic girl I am, I just politely walked up and pointed inside and asked “Mass?” The guard beamed brightly and beckoned me inside. I genuflected and took a seat near the back with my friends and other people who had the same idea as us. Parishioners had already filled in the first third of the pews. The mass was completely in Italian but I was shocked that I was able to pick up on where they were in the mass based on the cues I have grown up with my whole life. The dome inside was a beautifully painted portrayal of biblical images and of course the cathedral was decorated with ornate sculptures and rich paintings. It was another unexpected emotional moment for me as I looked up at the dome full of images I have been looking at my whole life. Now, I was looking at them in the Duomo in Florence, Italy. About as unreal as it can get.

Dinner was right outside of the cathedral and after eating, we made our way to the train station. According to my pedometer, I had taken 29,611 steps and walked 12.4 miles. In other words, I am exhausted but in the best way possible. Tomorrow is our last day in Italy and for that we venture back to Rome, and again, thanks to my beautiful friends (especially you, Allie!) we have a packed itinerary with a day that promises more steps and more sites.

[dream-beyond-the-fantasy]

Prompt #13 - “I won’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me.”

Requested by @missviolethunter for Jimmy & Julie

A/N: I started out trying to write a drabble, but ended up starting a new/continuing chapter of my Jimmy x Julie fic.  This is an excerpt from that chapter.  This ended up being super long and this is completely unedited, so I apologize.  I did modify the quote/prompt to better suit the narrative.

Jimmy is pulled out of his thoughts by frantic knocking at his door.  Frowning, he wonders who it could be.  His whole family is already or would be at his parents' house.  Nearly all of his friends would be with their own families.  It wouldn't be one of his neighbors, as everyone is pretty private and minds their own business.  

The frantic knocking transitions into an intense beating on the door.  Annoyed, Jimmy glances at the clock.  Damn it, he is already later than he planned.  Sighing, he walks to the door.

"Okay, alright.  I'm coming," he calls.

Not even three seconds after opening his door, Jimmy finds his arms full of an unconscious Julie.  Whatever he was expecting, this was not it.

In order to keep from dropping Julie, Jimmy has to readjust her in his arms.  He carries her inside, kicking the door closed behind him.  He tries not to panic by keeping his focus on Julie, but that doesn't stop his heart from hammering inside his chest.  Gently laying her on the couch and propping her legs up with pillows, Jimmy quickly checks to see if she is still breathing.  He relaxes just a bit once he sees her begin to stir.

"Come on, Julie.  Come back to me, honey," Jimmy murmurs.

Julie stirs a little more and mumbles incoherently.  Standing from his kneeling position, Jimmy rushes to the kitchen.  He wastes no time filling a glass with water and wetting a dishcloth.  He is soon by her side again, brushing her hair back and dabbing Julie's face with the damp cloth.

Her eyes flutter open, meeting Jimmy's.  He smiles at her, relief evident in his features.

"Hi, beautiful.  Welcome back to the land of the living."

Julie blinks, confused.  "Wha' happ'ned?  Why 'm I here?"

Jimmy keeps smiling, trying to hide his concern.  "You tell me.  I open the door and you fall into my arms."

She turns pink, trying to sit up.  "Oh, my God.  Did I really?"

Jimmy nods, while gently, but firmly, pushing her back down onto the couch.  At his nod, she groans, covering her face.  Jimmy takes her hand, pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles, causing her to turn an even brighter shade of pink.

His smile fades, seriousness taking over.  "Julie, what's wrong?  What happened?  If hasn't even been twelve hours since we left the hospital.  You're pregnant and you have a concussion.  You should be resting.  Where's Johnny and why isn't he with you?"

There is a subtle change in her expression as she remembers.  Jimmy notices how tense she is.  Julie avoids meeting his gaze, biting her lip.

“Julie?  Talk to me.”

She reluctantly turns to him.  “May I have some water?” she asks, pointing to the glass he had set on the coffee table behind him.  Jimmy knows she is stalling, but he can’t really deny her (or their child) something that she may need.  He helps prop Julie up with pillows before he hands her the glass, which she eagerly takes.  She starts to gulp down the water.

“Hey, take it slow.  You don’t need to make yourself sick again,” he says, before he takes the glass away from her.  “Alright, now talk.”

Hands spread away from her body, she starts to speak, “All I wanted to do was eat something…”

Jimmy tilts his head, confused by how eating relates to how she ended up passed out on his doorstep.  “Explain,” he directs her while gesturing to continue.

Rolling her eyes, Julie summarizes her morning.  “I was hungry when I woke up, so I went into the kitchen.  There is, like, no food in Johnny’s apartment, which is why he went shopping.  After an incident with spoiled milk, I decided to wait and try again later.  Just as I’m starting to eat, there’s somebody at the door.”

Jimmy notices how subdued she becomes when mentioning the visitor.  “Who was at the door?”

Julie pulls her knees up to her chest, hugging them tightly.  “It was Sid,” she answers, so soft that he can barely hear her.

Jimmy can count on one hand the number of times he met Johnny’s stepfather.  He didn’t think much of the man.  Johnny never had anything good to say about him.   And he remembers the whole reason that Julie hung out with the Cobras as much as she did was because Johnny tried to keep her away from Sid’s anger and the fighting between him and their mom.  That is enough for Jimmy to rise and join her on the couch.  He puts his arm around her, which she instantly leans into.

“What happened?”

Julie peers at him through her hair, which had fallen in her face.  Jimmy thinks, but isn’t certain, that there are unshed tears glimmering in her eyes.  “He knows ... about our baby,” she whispers.

He inhales sharply.  “How?”  His voice comes out a bit hoarse.

She smiles bitterly.  “He pays my bills.  He saw the test listed on a medical bill.”

“How did he take it?”

Julie looks at him like he is crazy.  “How do you think?”  she explodes.  “He said disgusting, awful things to me!  He grabbed me and tried to force me to go with him.”  She starts crying.

Jimmy pulls her close to him, stroking her hair in a soothing manner.  “He grabbed you?”  She nods into his chest.  Then she pulls her right sleeve up, showing him her wrist.  A fierce protectiveness overtakes him as he sees the bruise that has already formed.  How could he do that to her?  How dare he even touch her?

“He wouldn’t let go.  He was holding me so tight and jerking me around so much that I thought he was going to break it.”

Jimmy examines her wrist.  Though his touch is gentle, Julie winces as he runs his thumb lightly over the bruised area.  A ripple of guilt for causing her even the smallest pain runs through him.

“I’m sorry.”

She sniffles.  “It’s okay.”  She wipes away a tear.

Jimmy releases her, standing.  “Let me get you some ice to put on that.”  He walks to the kitchen.

Five minutes later, he comes back out with an ice pack.  Jimmy had hoped to get a bag of actual ice, but had forgotten that he refilled his ice trays.  And of course, the water hasn't had the chance to refreeze yet.

"Hey, sorry I took so long…" Jimmy trails off when he notices that the young woman on his couch is fast asleep, injured wrist resting on her chest.  He smiles at her fondly.  Trying not to wake her, Jimmy arranges it around her wrist.  Julie jolts awake at the sudden change in temperature.  He retakes his seat beside her.

"Hey, it's okay.  You're okay.  I just wanted to keep the swelling under control.  Go back to sleep."

Julie shakes her head and rubs her eyes, a bit sluggish.  "No, 's okay.  Didn't mean to fall asleep.  But I don't think getting slapped helps my concussion any."  She attempts a smile.

Rage flares up inside him, causing him to jump up, rushing to his bedroom.  Though his voice is a bit muffled, he can still be heard shouting.  "He hit you?  It's not bad enough that he nearly breaks your arm; he has to hit you too?"

Jimmy comes back into the living room, cordless phone in hand.  He starts to dial.

"And that isn't mentioning the stress you have to be under.  Is he trying to send you back into the hospital?"

"Well, it's not like he knew I had a head injury," Julie mutters.

He stops, pointing a finger at her.  "No!  Don't you dare defend him!"

"I'm not!” she snaps, leaning forward with her hands clenching the couch cushion she is sitting on, her shoulders tense.  “I would never defend him after what he tried to make me do!”

Jimmy cocks his head to the side.  “What?  What else did he do?”  Jimmy holds his hand up, remembering.  “Wait.  You said he was trying to force you to go with him.  Go where?  Julie?”

Meeting his gaze, Julie’s expression crumbles.  Tears and sobs are already breaking through.

“He, he wants me to, to t-terminate the pregnancy,” she can barely get out.

Jimmy drops the phone.  He is back at her side in seconds.  “An a-abortion?” he has trouble forcing the last word out of his mouth.  “He wants you to have an abortion?”  The word leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

Julie nods, her head down, as she can’t bear to face him.

Jimmy’s stomach is churning.  His Catholic upbringing, which he usually tries to suppress, tells him that abortion is a sin.  A part of him counters it with You’ve sinned a few times in your life, who are you to judge?  If he’s being honest, Jimmy doesn’t really have a problem with women having the right to choose.  But this is his child.  And Jimmy has always wanted to be a father.  He can’t help but remember the feeling of hearing the baby’s heartbeat for the first time.  It was so strong!  But he also hears Bobby’s voice -- support her in whatever she decides about this pregnancy.  As much as he wants to be a father to this child, Julie’s wishes have to come first.  If she decides to have the abortion, he is just going to have to deal with it.  He can’t blame her.  It is her body.  And he still hasn’t told her about the condoms.

“Are...are you going to go through with it?” Jimmy asks hoarsely.

Julie looks up at him, horrified.  She shoves him angrily, knocking him off the couch.  Standing abruptly, she balls her hands into fists.   “How can you ask me that?”

Relief floods through him.  He lifts his hands in surrender.  "Okay, okay.  You're not aborting.  Got it."

"It's what he wants.  I won't give the bastard the satisfaction," Julie snarls, swiping hot tears from her cheeks.   She turns away from him, sighing.  "But I'm not going through with the pregnancy out of spite.  Or because I'm against abortions, which I’m not.”

Her face softens as her hands find their way to her abdomen.  “This baby, though unintended, was created in love.  Or at least, on my part.  I'm still in love with you, even though I’ve tried to stop,” she admits.  “The baby is a part of you, my part of you.  I could never… especially not after hearing its heartbeat.  I won’t let anyone hurt it.  That’s why had to get away from Sid.  He didn’t just hurt me, he was threatening the baby.  I, I just started running.  I didn’t know where to go.  I..." Julie stops, unsure of how to finish the sentence and because her emotions are taking over again.

Julie jumps slightly as arms encircle her from behind.  Jimmy pulls her close, covering her hands with his.  He places a kiss to the back of her head.

“You needed to feel safe.  Don’t worry.  I won’t let anyone hurt you, or the baby.  You’re safe with me.  I’ll protect you.”

Julie closes her eyes, a watery smile forming on her face.  Turning in his arms, she looks up at him.  “Promise?”

Jimmy flashes that grin that never fails to make her heart flutter.  “Always,” he reassures her, holding her close.  Julie rests her head on his chest, right above his heart.

[leia-morales-suggestions]

//Backstory Time!//

//So the reason I was barely on yesterday was because I was busy finishing this up. I thought it would be good for people to have a better understanding of Leia's history leading up to the creation of this blog, so I've compiled a list of key points down below.

Born (on May 3, 1991) and raised in Chicago.

Parents both very Catholic. Leia will participate in holidays and accompany her mom (Cassandra Morales) to church out of obligation, but her beliefs don’t necessarily align with the religion anymore.

Dad (William Doherty) was abusive. Was good at keeping up a charming facade and hid his uglier side until Leia was around 6 or 7. Only verbally and emotionally abusive at first; him hitting Leia’s mom was the final straw that made them leave. He never signed the divorce papers, but he also hasn't contacted them, and they were able to get their last names changed, so Leia and her mother don't really think about him anymore. Leia can’t be near people when they’re smoking cigarettes or drinking hard alcohol (cigars, pipes, vape pens, cocktails, and wine don’t bug her as much, but she personally won’t touch them) though, because the sight of it reminds her of him.

Leia and her mom moved to Central City when she was 12. Her sister (Jessica) was born shortly after. With their mom working multiple jobs in an attempt to make ends meet, Leia took on more responsibilities at home, including basically raising Jessie. The two of them grew very close and were basically inseparable.

Leia has always been kinda tomboyish and geeky, which has made it harder for her to make friends. In her early childhood, the girls didn't want to hang out with her because she was too boyish, and the boys didn't want to hang out with her because she was a girl. In middle school, that was less important, but kids started worrying more about popularity as they got closer to high school, and she had already been labeled as an outcast. After the move, she was able to start fresh, but she was also the new kid, so that was its own bag of worms. In high school, she joined the softball and water polo teams, as well as a few leadership and community service clubs, but while she mostly got along with her teammates and fellow club members, she didn't really click with them or hang out with them more than she was required to.

Leia did find herself with more people wanting to be her friend in junior year, when senior football star and school heartthrob, James Oh, took an interest in her after meeting her in a shared class. She agreed to go out with him, and she sort of adopted his social circle, but Leia was pretty sure “friends” didn't make you feel like you had to fake your interests and personality…

Unable to afford to go to college right after high school, Leia got a job at the local comic book shop to save up for tuition. She became very close with her boss (Scott Jeffries), who she saw as a father figure, and a frequent customer (Cisco Ramon), who eventually became her best friend.

James didn't care for Leia working at the comic store; he insisted she didn't need to save for college if she stayed with him, because his family was rich and he was going to become a great businessman, but she insisted on making sure she was self-sufficient, much to his annoyance. Unbeknownst to Leia, his interest in her had been, at least in part, because she seemed easy to manipulate. She had never dated anyone before to compare him to, she didn't have any friends, she got anxious easily and was a people pleaser at heart… It was very easy for him to use her insecurities against her, to make it seem like she was the one who didn't deserve him, to make her feel dependent on him, to make her family fall in love with him and think he could do no wrong… and once he had accomplished this, he started trying to change Leia, buying her makeup and outfits to encourage her to be more feminine, critiquing some of her interests that might seem odd to others, and pressuring her into displays of affection that she wasn't really comfortable with. Her job at the comic shop and the friendships she might make there put his plans at risk, so he doubled down on his efforts, becoming more controlling and blaming his actions on stress from college whenever she seemed to be pushed too far.

Cisco was the first person who got Leia to open up about how James was making her feel. He noticed that she had been looking kinda down in the dumps during his recent visits to the store and asked her what was going on. She tried to downplay it, but she did tell him some of the details. Seeing that she wasn't going to disclose anything further, but still wanting to try and cheer her up, he invited her out for coffee, which wound up being the thing that really kicked their friendship off. They continued to go out for coffee or catch a movie together every once in a while, and Leia was happy to finally have someone her own age to hang out with that she could be herself around.

A little while after the particle accelerator explosion, Leia started to develop what she thought was a fever. It seemed to go away on its own, and she didn't think too much of it until she started to notice objects that she stayed in contact with for long periods of time began melting or giving off smoke. Not knowing what to do, she looked up how to keep the human body cold, and she used a variety of methods to cool herself down, which seemed to work well enough, but eventually, there was an accident…

While spending a day at the park with her family, Leia decided to take a quick nap in the grass. While she was asleep, the clouds shifted, allowing the sun through. Leia subconsciously internalized the sudden feeling of warmth and her new abilities kicked in. When she awoke, it was to the sight of fire all around her and people screaming as they ran in the opposite direction of her. Before she could do anything, the Flash showed up to put out the fire, running in a way which drew the oxygen out of the area, causing Leia to pass out in the process.

When she woke up, Leia found herself in a chilled cell in the Pipeline. Barry came down to explain her situation to her, and “Wells” followed shortly after, saying that if she was able to learn control over her abilities, she could be a useful ally to the Flash. Overwhelmed by everything that had happened recently, Leia’s powers started acting up again, and the containment cell started to malfunction (they later found out that it had pretty much only worked in the first place because Leia expected it to, the same reason her earlier home remedies had worked); Cisco was finally brought down at this point to talk to her and help calm her down. He had already given her the nickname ‘Swelter’ while she was passed out, and he continued to visit her occasionally afterwards, becoming the most frequent person to help her figure out how to get a handle on her powers. Things got pretty hectic with everyone else trying to stop “Wells” though, and Leia’s training didn't really begin until after his apparent demise. In this version of events, Barry was unable to become as reclusive in the aftermath of that day, because he had Leia to be responsible for.

The gist of Leia’s powers is simply the manipulation of heat. She has the ability to generate heat from her body, raise the temperature of her body, raise the temperature of her surroundings, melt, burn, or combust most things that she touches or comes into close proximity of, and send waves of heat towards her opponents. There's no way to safely test it, but there doesn't seem to be any limit on what temperatures she can reach.

After a couple of months, Leia had enough control of her powers to be able to leave S.T.A.R. Labs without worrying about accidentally hurting anyone. She contacted her mom first, hoping to return home, but her mother was unconvinced that it was actually safe for Leia to stay at their house again and said she needed more time to process everything. Leia proceeded to ask James if she could stay with him, but he saw her powers as something to be capitalized on and used for personal gain, and when she voiced her complete lack of interest in this, he suddenly decided that she was a “freak” and dumped her. So, she wound up staying at the lab full-time.

Leia started to help Barry out on the field with smaller missions. He didn't want her endangering herself by getting her involved with Zoom, but she did what she could behind-the-scenes, and she became pretty close with the rest of Team Flash as a whole, especially Cisco. The two of them eventually admitted to having feelings for one another, but they agreed to put off trying to date until after after Zoom was no longer a threat. That agreement was never fulfilled, however, because after Flashpoint, everything changed.

During Flashpoint, the comic store Leia worked at was bought out by Francisco Industries, along with many other local businesses, for the construction of a new building. Without her job to distract her, Leia’s stress sped up the growth of her powers. She started a fire in her apartment by overheating the kitchen's electrical systems. Her sister suffered from mild burns and her mother kicked her out of the house. So, she became desperate for a cure. She got involved with some shady people, committing small crimes here and there in exchange for serums that dampened her powers for a while.

After Flashpoint, Leia’s first big accident went back to being the fire in the park, but it happened earlier, on a different day, one where the Flash was preoccupied with something else and he couldn't get to the fire right away. Instead, Leia went on a path of destruction, melting asphalt as she ran away, accidentally burning people who reached out to help her, causing an explosion in the freezer section of a supermarket she tried to steal some ice from… Eventually, she was found, not by Barry this time, but by a corrupt doctor who sedated her and gave her her first power-dampening serum in exchange for her cooperation as a “voluntary” test subject. The first time the serum became less effective, however, he sent her to his supplier, Amunet, who got her a new serum in exchange for training Leia to steal for her. After a while though, Amunet decided that she was more of a hassle than she was worth, so she sent her directly to the people who had produced the serums, a large black market operation run by a mysterious leader that mostly operated in metahuman trafficking; that's where Leia has been ever since.//