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caribooed · 3 years ago

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[cha cha slide voice] reverse!

Freeze! Everybody clap your hands!

Ok so Catwoman Guardian of Gotham was a disaster so I'm taking it into my own hands. Only Bruce and Selina are swapped and Alfred still exists, not. The weird maid lady and Bruce is Not a bloodthirsty murderer

This got Very long so it's under a cut

Selina's parents were murdered by Joe Chill and she vowed to never let anyone feel the same pain she did, hence why she later became Catwoman

Bruce grew up on the streets with his big brother Thomas taking care of them both, but Thomas ended up killing a guy in a mugging and got sent to prison and left Bruce on his own

Catwoman hears about a number of high-profile thefts (museums, aristocrats) springing up and starts trying to track down the cat burglar and ends up interrupting a burglarly from a wealthy woman's penthouse

She chases the burglar down and they have a fight on the rooftops where they kick the everloving shit out of eachother but the burglar throws her off the roof and when she gets back up he's gone

Next night, she attends a charity event and meets an activist and fundraiser by the name of Bruce Wayne and they have a nice chat and hit it off

In the middle of it, a waiter bumps Selina in the side right over where her ribs got cracked from the other night and she doubles over so Bruce helps her out of sight and asks what happened

She tells him she tripped down the stairs of her house but he does Not believe it and ends up sticking by her the rest of the night, at the end of which Selina is like. "He's nice I think" and invites him out for lunch soon

Jump a day or two and Selina runs into the burglar again but this time he's got full body armor and a bat motif and she is Not Happy With This Development

Bruce stole a ton of armor and weaponry from the GCPD and made his own suit because Selina rly messed him up the last time they met

So they fight and Bruce hits her in the side and it floors her and he is like. Wait A Minute, but she recovers and he's forced to run

And then over a period of a month or two, Bruce starts hanging out with Selina in the day (lowkey stalking her to see if his wild theory is right) and while over at her manor he spots a bloodstain on her shirtsleeve from a wound that bled through the bandages she was wearing and when he questions her she says she cut her arm open on a nail accidentally and it's not a big deal but he's just. Hm

Also during this period, Catwoman keeps showing up to stop all of Batman's robberies and he's really getting sick of it because he's been using the money from his stolen goods both to like, feed himself but also to support a gang of homeless kids in the neighborhood he lives in and to help provide food for the local orphanage and it's getting Really Hard To Do That When He Can't Steal Stuff

So basically he knows she's Catwoman and Selina is his friend and he's just. I Have An Idea

Batman starts going out more often just to taunt Catwoman while she's on patrol and he starts going to other rogues like Two-Face and Cobblepit to egg them on and he actively breaks Bane out of prison and the Riddler out of Arkham just to set them loose

He's basically manufacturing a crime wave to try and wear Catwoman out and it's working

She's really exhausted because of all this and every time she has to make an appearance in public she's all tired and struggling to keep it together and Bruce makes a point to be there and to cover for her whenever she's too overwhelmed

Eventually Catwoman gets severely injured during a fight and she's too far from the Cave so, not really having another option, she shows up passed out in Bruce's apartment bleeding out and he's all surprised and helps her and gives her impromptu medical care but never pulls off her mask

Selina wakes up on his couch and he's asleep in a chair he pulled up next to her and she's like :] and leaves him a thank you note before going

So Batman has basically become priority one but he keeps causing so many new problems to spring up that she can't actually go after him while he commits a robbery spree, and every tine she deals with everything else he goes to ground for weeks on end

All the while Bruce is there being Supportive Friend Of The Year and they keep going out to eat and they spend events together and it's Grand

Eventually Bruce asks her out! And she's like. Oh No because while she likes him, she genuinely doesn't know if she can handle being in a relationship at the moment but she doesn't want to say no so she gives a tentative yes and so they're dating

Luckily he is a very understanding man and whenever she has to dip out to be Catwoman or when she's too tired to go out he's all "oh it's fine, I can reschedule" and it's a Very Big Relief

Batman goed to ground after another round of Mess With Catwoman and he stays that way for like three months and she puts all her rogues away so for the first time in a While she has proper free time to spend with Bruce and it's lovely! And shes like. "If this is how our relationship is, I don't want it to end" but because she's Catwoman and she doesn't know that she could hide it from Bruce if they were married and so one night she shows up in his apartment as Catwoman and shows him that she's Selina and he's just "!!!!! Oh that explains a lot, that's really awesome"

He swears he'd never tell anyone about her identity and makes a joke about how because Selina makes herself seem so ditzy at parties, nobody would believe him anyway and so Selina proposes to him the next night and they end up getting married and Bruce moves into the manor ❤️

Unfortunately Batman comes back and he pulls a pro gamer move which involves releasing every inmate from Arkham and Blackgate, including but not limited to her entire rogues gallery

So she's having a Time and literally just can't handle everything and every time she does well against a rogue Batman swoops in out of nowhere to divert her and really it's exhausting and she's working herself to the bone

Eventually she manages to wrangle most of them but the Joker is still on the loose and Batman keeps evading her and she Has Not Slept For Four Nights

While she's in the Cave, Alfred makes a comment about how at night it always gets so nerve wracking, especially since Bruce tends to leave after she does and Alfred is worried he might get caught up in something dangerous considering Batman and the crime wave and Selina is like

"He leaves the house at night??? [wh]" And Alfred gets confused tells her how he can never find Bruce in the manor from around eleven pm to two in the morning so he assumes Bruce goes out to visit friends or to deal with personal business and he tells her abt how he asked Bruce about it and he told Alfred that he and Selina had already talked about it

And Selina is just. "He was lying to you, I had no idea he was going out" which makes her Very Suspicious

She can't Do anything about it because she's trying to track down supercriminals but she checks the manor security feeds and she can't find any trace of Bruce leaving which is Concerning

Basically she ends up finding the Joker and stopping him from bombing the city and he gets sent back to Arkham, but before she can go home Batman shows up and they facedown on the roof

Batman goes all "I really didn't want to do this but you gave me no choice" and then starts trying to kill Selina

He gets a bunch of good stabs in but Selina seems to get the better of him and so he runs and she follows him into an apartment building but loses him in the hallways

She spots a bomb behind one of the doors and realizes the building is about to explode so she gets out of there just before it does and Batman corners her with a gun on a nearby roof

He tries to kill her again but Selina manages to get close and hits the gun away

Batman tries to run but she grabs him by the cape and yanks him back and manages to rip his cowl off before he gets away, at which point she sees that it's Bruce and she's Horrified

And it finally clicks that Batman has been trying to get every other criminal in Gotham to either kill her for him or wear her out so that he can do it himself, which would Also be killing Selina Kyle, and since she doesn't have any other heir, Bruce would get her fortune

And she's all "why would you do all this" and he gets really angry and starts telling her all about the people that aren't as privileged as her and he basically tells her that he wants her money so he can use it to help the people living in the East End and the Narrows, since Selina and the other aristocrats of her stature didn't know the problem like he did and refused to help

So Selina is just baffled that he'd go this far and he apologizes to her genuinely before he tries to kill her one last time because now that she Knows, this is his last chance to get away with the plan

It doesn't work, Selina fights him off and manages to get cuffs on him but he gets away and Selina goes home and Divorces That Man Immediately but also realizes that while he was living with her he'd been stealing things like jewelry she never wore or fancy paintings from rooms nobody ever went into and she is just Not Pleased

But she also allocates a ton of money towards charity projects focused in the more rundown areas of Gotham and actively starts funding all sorts of orphanages, soup kitchens, clinics, etc

She tries to track Bruce down but he's just Gone and so she lets it go even though she's very heartbroken and sad that he tried so hard to kill her

#bat and cat swap #batman #catwoman #dc comics #gaysonlyocean #adobe decrees #tysm rat 🥺

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snapefiction · 4 years ago

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#10. Slippery Slope - Snapemas Challenge

A/N: Day 10 of Snapemas! I know this one is delayed but also much longer than my usual ones and completely different and it feels weird to publish smut

This one got longer than I wanted it to and more sexual than I wanted it too as well. I had no time to proof read it again. So please only read this if you're 18+. Enjoy!

Idea from @deepperplexity ´s Writing Challenge ! Check her Writings and the other Snapemas posts out! :)

❤️ Please remember that English isn’t my native language and that my Writings will include Mistakes and maybe weird formed sentences. ❤️

Pairing: Severus Snape x Adult!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, Mention of Violence/Pain, NSFW, Smut 18+!

Word count: 5170

Y/N - Your Name, Y/L/N - Your last name

#10. Slipperly Slope Smut - Snapemas Challenge

,When I’m back at home i´ll drink a cup of tea and just relax until New Years Eve.´ Thats what kept you moving through the small alley, hidden behind the shining Shops, the crowd of people and away from the small Cafe you work at. The cold made it’s way through your clothes and you felt naked. Like the freezing air left lovebites at your legs, crawling up to your chest, over your breasts, around the shoulders down your arms- you began to freeze.

This Winter was the worst one you ever witnessed. Actually you and the cold were friends you never got used to snow and the ice. The Sun was already setting down as you crossed the corner of the alley before walking over to the small way leading to the last few houses of this dammed edge of England. You knew no one here. You came here alone a few years ago when there was no going back to your family, to the house you grew up in or anyone else. You were left completely alone and this hole- this last spot in this Town that no one - not even the ones who were born here knew- this is where you had to make yourself a home.

Taking one last deep breath only to release a small cloud of oxygen leaving your lungs seconds after you took the steps up to the entrance of your so what called home. But when you could already imagine the warmth of the safety hitting your skin your feet slipped on one of the steps and your chest, hands, knees and almost your nose hitted against the bricks from under your feet. Out of shock your fingers let go of your keys which flew right into the drain next to your House entrance. The Ice was even more merciless than the wind who crawled into your skin earlier. Mixed with little stones and dust from the street it pressed itself into your body and left little cuts. Closing your eyes for a second you knew that you wouldn’t be able to get those keys back as they would now already swimming deep down under the surface of the street. Trying to get up you checked your Hands. One Cut at the side of your hand that tried to hold you when you slipped. Your arm hurt, but it was alright. The worst thing were your rips. It felt like someone was punching you deeply and as you slid one of your fingers over them through your thick Jacket you already had to flinch. It was bad and all you wanted was this day to end. For a short moment you thought about letting all your emotions out. Crying out of Pain, Screaming out of anger, Pleading for something that felt like love, hoping for an way out of your daily dark thoughts and a way out of this place. Or maybe just a savior to call your own. But your rational thought overtook again.

You couldn’t stay out for any longer or else you’d become sick or probably could freeze to death. Biting your Nails you thought of a solution. The windows were all locked and you couldn’t climb on the wall as your ribs hurted too bad plus it was way to slippery, your spare key got stolen weeks ago, you didn’t knew how to unlock locked doors with a hair clip or anything else that would get you into your house but calling your landlord hoping he could help you. With a checking Glance over to the house a few meters away you hoped that your neighbours where home and no serial killers. Even if they were Serial Killers, it couldn’t get any worse than how you currently live and it would be more interesting than anything that had happened to you in the last few years in general. Also you knew how to do karate- or at least you thought you knew how to do it.

Slowly getting down on your icy steps and walking over to your neighbours house you gave it a closer look. It wasn’t special, it was one of there houses that you knew that they were there but probably never truly recognised. It was dark- no, it was dirty and old. Not very trustworthy but currently your only chance. As earlier you took a deep breath again and knocked, hoping for some warmth to release your tension that had build up from the long time in the cold. At first there was no answer. A desperation build up in you. Looking on the doorbell you saw the name written on it. ,S. Snape´. You never heard this name before.

,,Mr. Snape? Mr. Snape? Could you- I need help.“ Cringing at your own words, at the fact of how vulnerable you made yourself you knocked again.

,,If I could just use your cellphone for a minute- I’m your neighbour.“ The door opened only to reveal a tall man, with dark clothes and a strict look on his face. Not to mention his shoulder length, black hair and his perfume of tea, pine and old books. Taken by his presence you only realised that he was waiting for an introduction or explanation as he raised his dark eyebrow.

,,I- I slipped on my steps and my keys erm- flew into the drain. If I could call my Landlord really quick that’d be really nice.“ Closing his eyes for a second you noticed how deep brown- almost black- is that even possible- are. ,,I won’t bother you for long.“ Promising, pleading you looked up to him. With a small Move he went to the side so you could slide in.

,,Come in.“ He added to his obvious invite. His deep voice slightly echoed through the house. Following him you tried to brush some dirt off your Jacket without crossing the area where your skin still pulsates before entering the Kitchen where he simply put a Telephone in your hands. Thanking him with a small embarrassed smile and a short nod you dialled the number. You knew the number too well by now. There was always a problem at or with the house. Something was always broken and you had to call him every two weeks by now. The beeping wouldn’t stop and your mind already knew he wouldn’t pick up today. It was too late in the evening. Biting your Lip you hung up only to feel another heavy weight laying down on your chest. ,,Thank you, Mr. Snape.“ Mumbling you looked down to the ground only to remember that this was going to be an cold night. Wiping your running nose with the side of your arm and trying to keep the upcoming tears I your eyes you made your way back to the entrance from where your neighbour had led you. ,,Merry Christmas.“ You added before offering a last devastated smile and walking over back to the Entrance of your House. Mr. Snape hasn’t said anything but replied to you Merry Christmas with an ,,You too.“ Before he quickly closed the door.

So you sat in front of your door, the Back carefully leaned against the cold wood, trying not to touch your rip and letting the tears fall. Pulling your knees as close as possible you never felt this lonely before. The Tears rolled over your puffy cheeks which were also the last warm thing on you. What were you supposed to do but drown yourself in sorrow already? Never before has a Christmas be as bad as this one. Minutes passed and the last thing that came into your mind was sneaking back to work after everyone left. Until the cafe closed you still had a couple of hours to wait so you could sneak in from one of the windows that wasn’t working properly anymore. Sighing you now wiped your eyes. The cold was unbearable and just painful by now. Laying your head on your knees you hoped to hide from the falling snow that became heavier and heavier by now. But instead it made you almost fall asleep. You were just tired, your eyes so heavy and your mind so lost. A slumber almost reached you until you heard snow crunch in front of you. Weakly looking up you saw Mr. Snape. In his tall hands he held a patterned Blanket. ,,Would you like to come in? You’ll freeze to death out here.“ He was right. Your fingers were about to turn blue and until the cafe closed you were probably taken by the cold. With much caution he opened the Blanket to pull it over your shoulders and helped you up. Your feet hurt by now too, everything did. As Mr. Snape noticed your trembling he held his arm around you.

,,Let me help you.“ Drained you let him lead you, back into his house, through his kitchen in front of his cabin. Across of the Sofa he sat you on you saw a small reflection of yourself. Your lips were blue and not rosy anymore. This is where life has brought you. Taking a deep breath you leaned your head against the sofa. Taking in the sudden warm you are more and more tired. As the warmth hit your freezing skin you could feel little thunders hitting your skin and the storm inside of your growling. Too exhausted to care you drifted asleep.

As he sat the nameless woman down on his couch he instantly knew he had to warm her up. Make some tea, get more blankets, maybe something to eat too? But as he brought her a tea he noticed that she had fallen asleep by now. Silently he spoke a few Spells to make her feel better soon before getting back to the kitchen. Severus looked at the painting hanging above his fridge.

,,Lily, what the hell am I supposed to do?“ He whispered overwhelmed at the red haired woman. She just rolled his eyes.

,,She was almost freezing , maybe help her warm up? Ugh, you fought the dark lord and have no idea of how to treat humans. Kind of funny.“ Angrily he shot at her with an angry Glare. She was his best friend and knew perfectly fine how to pick up on him.

,,Genius.“ He mumbled sarcastically as he took out one of his pots out of his cupboards to warm up a chicken soup. Turning on the stove he scratched his collar only to reach the spot where Nagini left this deep scar. Whenever he heard someone mention the dark lord he had this feeling to itch his scar. It became an uncomfortable habitat.

,,You really need to work on your social anxiety. It’s been a few years by now.“ Lily now spoke softer and followed his steps with her eyes in worry.

,,Yes, seven to be exact but as you may have seen I opened the door to someone and let her in.“ Taking out his wand to do the rest of the cooking he pressed his lips together. Merlin, he loved his best friend but she could grow quite annoying sometimes.

,,Fine. Just be nice, okay? It was hard enough to get you open that door so you can at least be polite. She’s really not doing well.“ Again she was worried but now over that girl laying on the couch still wrapped in blankets and her winter jacket.

,,I am as always ,nice´.“ Severus now spoke, filled some soup in a small bowl, signed her to be quite and walked into his living room again.

Setting down the bowl he stood there awkwardly. Should he speak to her? Tap her shoulder? Let her sleep? He decided to clear his throat and watch her slowly wake up. Looking at her red puffy eyes made him feel sorry for his incompetence to let her stay from the moment she knocked on his door. Collecting his words and building an sentence with everything he wanted to say he sat down on the small armchair to her right.

,,I made you soup.“ A poet. You’re a literal Poet, Severus. Dumbass he thought to himself before pointing at the Bowl in front of her. Again she just smiled shyly and kept her glance low from him. He’d really like to see her eyes. What colour were they exactly?

,,Thank you.“ Her hoarse voice made him remember the Tea he made for her. He brewed a new Kettle for her. Peppermint Tea. He always drinks black tea but for her he almost crawled into his cupboard only to find the last bag of peppermint tea. He again moved in his chair only to push the cup closer to her.

,,It’s Peppermint.“ Every inch of creativity has obviously left his Body, he thought to himself. Maybe ask about her day, he could almost hear Lilys Voice in the back of his Head. Well it must have been a bad one if she sat crying in front of her door and almost froze to death. Ask her something. Something creative. Thousands of Thoughts ran though his mind but non made him comfortable so he chosed the first one he could catch.

,,D- Do you like dogs?“ His voice trembled. The prettiest Girl he had met in a eternity was sitting in front of him and he asked her about-.. dogs?

You had to keep yourself together not to burst out laughing. Your Mouth almost couldn’t keep the warm tea in your mouth as you though about this terribly random question and your lips arched into a smile. Swallowing the sip you still ha din your mouth you nodded before placing the cup back down.

,,Actually, yes, I do. And what about you?“ Nodding he clasped his hands together visibly nervous.

,,I never had one but someone at my Work, Hagrid, had this huge dog. He was kind of precious. Scary but precious.“ Blinking a few times you tried to follow his intentions. Probably he was just trying to start some smalltalk. The mysterious scary man I just met a few hours ago invites me in to offer me soup and talk about dogs? Well, you loved dogs so that wasn’t the issue. It was just that his random kindness surprised you and totally caught you off guard.

,,Thank you again, Mr. Snape. That’s too kind of you.“ His tension eased and he took a deep breath.

,,My name is YN, by the way. YN YLN.“ You added before taking another sip. This Tea was terribly sweet. You preferred black tea to be honest but at this moment everything was perfect.

,,Severus. My Name is Severus.“ Smiling you ate the last spoonful of Soup before sitting back again.

,,Would you mind if I use your Bathroom before I leave?“

,,Leave? I thought you lost your keys?“ His Surprise was clearly to see.

,,Well, yes. I still need to find a place for tonight. I thought about staying at my working place that should be fine.. I guess.“ Your insecurity was clearly visible.

,,You can stay here.“ Scratching his throat he looked at you. ,,If you want to, of course.“ There was something in the way he looked at you, you knew he cared. And you’re not gonna lie, you weren’t hyped up about walking back all the way into the city just to maybe get into the crappy Cafe. Severus seemed trustworthy enough to stay the night, you told yourself and instantly hoped so.

,,Thank you again.“ Breathing out you felt release on your chest. The Ribs still hurt but the psychic stress eased a bit up. Thankfully for his offer you took off your jacket. Your skin wasn’t as cold as early anymore. Severus guided you to the Bathroom down the floor and could finally inspect your wounds on your ribs. Closing the door you quickly pulled up the shirt from the side only to reveal dark purple skin. ,,Shit.“ It was worse than you anticipated. Pulling your shirt back down again you now inspected your arms. You were okay. After the Holidays you should seek a Doctor but for now you couldn’t do anything but try to ignore this huge bruise. After using the Toilet you tried to wash your face. There was still some dirt above your eyebrow but you couldn’t move down. The Pain took your breath away.

,,Is everything okay?“ You heard Severus asking from the outside of the door. Opening the door you smiled at him awkwardly. ,

,Yes, sorry for taking do long I was just trying to wash my face.“ Confused he nodded and walked into the Bathroom only to give you a washcloth and a towel. ,,Take your time.“ Deciding whether her whether not to tell him you gave in.

,,It’s not about that. I tried to do it in the sink but..“ You moved your shirt up so he could see the bruise which even led over to your Back. He scrunched his face in empathy. ,,From slipping on the Steps?“ He asked more silently. ,,Uh huh.“ He signed you to sit on the rim of the Bathtub. ,,Let me get something really quick.“ He mumbled as his tall legs carried him away fastly. Waiting for him you firstly noticed how simple his house was. He had almost no personal items standing around. - Is this a sign for someone to be a serial Killer or was he just a minimalist or something? Wondering about his Edgy Style you almost didn’t hear him coming back. Holding two vials in his hands he gave you the green one. ,,If you let a few drops run over the Bruise it’ll be gone almost instantly.“

Instantly? He must be very convinced of his little medicine slime. Not really convinced you just agreed and pulled your shirt up again. He watched you opening the vial. ,, A few drops would do it.“

,,Could you help me? I can’t raise my arm that high I guess.“ Shyly he firstly hesitated but then took the vial back in his big hand. You liked his hands. They matched him well. Tall, Slender but pretty- for hands.

,,Ready?“ He asked and you nodded to signal him to start. Seconds later you felt something dripping over your Bruise. Even this small contact hurt. A slight Burn was felt and then it vanished. Confused you looked down. The Bruise was gone. ,,How does this work? I don’t understand?“ Turning back to Severus you noticed how he just smiled simply.

,,I told you it works wonders.“ Getting up to look in the Mirror you inspected it closely. Even the Lotion vanished.

,,What is this?“ As you attempted to walk back to him you almost bumped into him but could stop a few centimetres away from him.

,,It’s Bruisewort Balm.“ His deep voice left goosebumps on your skin. Severus was confusing you but also in a good way. Where were your Thoughts again? Today was the worst day you had in years and now all you could think about this tall black haired man in front of you. You thought he was pretty when you saw him earlier but now he was way more attractive. ,,I can help you with your cut hand as well.“ You felt the vibrations of his chest against yours. Did you got closer? Were you imagining it? As you didn’t answer he gently took your Hand in his. Again he opened the small vial and let a few drops fall on the wound. Your eyes were locked with the sight of his eyes as you didn’t even cared what he did. ,

,Staring is not very polite.“ He said low looking back to you as he finished healing your hand. Blushing you tried to look at something else but him but couldn’t find anything but his chest. ,,I’m Sorry.“ His fingers now took your chin in his Hand. Making you look up at him again.

,,What’s on your mind?“ Was he serious? His eyes wanders over your face scanning for any bruises. Breathing heavier you tried to think of something to say. Saying ,You, Mr.´ would be inappropriate, would it? Raising his Eyebrow you wondered if you said that loud. Your chin still between his fingers he got a little bit closer to you.

,,Use your words.“ He said demanding in an almost growling tone. This whole Situation made your knees weak. How could this shy man turn into such a demanding one so quickly? Your thoughts were now racing in an incredible speed. He demanded the Truth? He’ll get the Truth.

,,About you, Mr. Snape.“ Not knowing why you didn’t call him by his Forename you bit your lip. His eyes wandered down your face, following the movements of your lips only to look back into your eyes. His Hand wandered down your side only to remain above your hip. You knew too well how this would end or at least you hoped it would end the way you thought it would. Feeling him so close you wished for nothing more but to feel his lips on yours. Feel him touching the places that were longing for him so badly.

,,Tell me what you want to do, Y/N.“ He whispered in your ear now. ,,What you want me to do.“ He added as he placed a small kiss on your neck right under your ear. Your chest was rising even faster now. Did he knew which effects these words had on you? Impatiently you waited for him to kiss you again. It didn’t matter where. If it was your cheek, chest, neck or your lips. But you needed it now.

,,Kiss me.“ His eyes looked into yours again. He raised his other hand only to let his thumb brush over your lower lip. His eyes always stayed on you. Licking his lip he slightly shook his head.

,,You have to ask nicely.“ He teased and his hand which touched your lip made its way to your neck. He held you close and there was no where else you’d want to be right now.

,,Please. Kiss me, Please.“ Smirking he got so close you could feel his nose slightly touching your cheek.

,,How polite.“ Was the last mumble he let out before his rosy Lips carefully touched yours only to deepen the kiss a few seconds after. A small Moan left your mouth. Feeling his lips curling into another smile again you had to smile too. Your chest was tingling and your body felt burning. Burning for more but he only let go. Desperate for his touch you only watched him letting go of you. Did you do something wrong? His long statue left the Bathroom. You stood there frozen, this time it was a different type of frozen as earlier. Turning to the mirror you quickly checked your look. Your Pupils were widened, your lips plump and you felt like everyone could see what type of thoughts you have about this man right now. Not thinking twice you followed him. ,,Severus-“ but he sat on the Armchair again. With a Book in his hands he looked like this wasn’t just happening while you stood in the doorframe and your panties were soaked only because of him. He didn’t even respond to you calling his name. Getting back on the couch you just looked at him. How he turned the page of the green, golden book. How his eyes scanned the sentences. How his shoulders leaned against the soft cushion of the armchair.

,,Severus?“ You repeated hoping for any type of attention. He lowered the book and his eyes darted yours waiting for your Question. ,,Why did you leave?“ He raised the book again and began to spoke. ,

,I don’t want you to regret this.“ Regret? You shook your head.

,,I won’t.“ As if he didn’t hear it he continued reading. ,,Also, I’m probably not your type.“ He talked about everything you had in mind like it was the weather.

,,I think you’re my type.“ Trembling you were just whispering. He lowered the Book again only to lay it in his lap. ,

,Do you even know what type I am talking about?“ ,,You mean .. demanding?“ Trying not to laugh he nodded. ,,Demanding.“ He agreed using the words you used.

,,Please.“ You pleaded. Severus did something to you you couldn’t explain.

,,If you really want this you have to follow orders.“ Blindly you’d agree to anything he’d say.

,,I will.“ The excitement inside of you grew. What was he going to do to you?

,,On your Knees then.“ He just said and watched you slide from the couch on your knees. Smirking he got up and got closer to you. ,,Look up.“ He wasn’t speaking nicely anymore. It was just demands. His Hand took your chin in his hand again. This time it was more harsh but it made you only wanting more. ,,If you want me to stop, you’ll ask me to stop by my forename. Only then it’s Severus to you. Until we’re done its Mr. Snape. Understand?“ Your Heart was almost jumping out of your chest. You could feel the impatience between your legs only grow.

,,Understood, Mr. Snape.“ His eyes looked up and down and you again.

,,Now get up again and tell me what you want me to do to you?“ Getting up you noticed his Bulge growing.

,,I- I“ you stuttered. His Eyebrow arched up. He waited for you patiently. ,,I want to please you, Mr. Snape.“

His strict expression always faded whenever you worded your wishes. Even if he knew what was on your mind he loved how shy you were about it. Sitting down on the couch he looked up and down on you again. He had to hold him together not to take out his dick and just fuck you mindlessly. But he just tapped on his lap. Y/N sat down on him instantly.

,,Good Girl.“ Mumbling he placed kissed down her neck again. Sloppy ones, the type that would leave marks. Again she began to moan. It was like music to his ears. Her beautiful voice longing for him to touch her more, give her more of him. His mouth wandered down towards her chest only to be stopped by the edge of her Pullover. ,,Arms up, Kitten.“ He pulled up her Pullover only to reveal a lace bra. A deep Moan he has been holding for a few moments now finally left his Throat. His Dick throbbed against the fabric of his trousers. She must’ve felt it as she began to slightly rub her hip against him. His Mouth connected itself with her chest again. Biting carefully, kissing softly. Taking her breasts in his hands, cupping them completely only to make her moan louder as he pinched her nipples through the thin white lace.

,,Take it off.“ Quickly she followed his orders. He loved it whenever she’d do as he told her. Watching her revealing herself to him, grinding on his lap, slowly kneading her own breasts only for him to see he couldn’t help himself but thinking this must’ve been a dream. ,,YN, get up again.“ Her cheeks were so reed from all the stimulation she got from him, her eyes now wide open fearing she did something wrong. But as her shaking legs made her stand in front of Severus she knew she was more than just alright. His Hands wandered over her Breasts again. Pinching them, kissing them and letting his tongue slowly run over them. As his Mouth laid on one nipple his hand touched the other one. Whenever she moaned he would go harder, it would motivate him. Making him eager to bite lightly into them and then suddenly let go of her only to pull down her Jeans and make her undress completely for him. For his hungry eyes and dark thoughts. As her Panties hit the ground he could see how soaked they were. Quickly Severus pointed to the ground where she kneeled down again. He slowly opened the Button of his Pants. Pushing the clothes to his ankles he hissed as she without waiting or thinking about it begun to suck him off. Shyly she only took the Tip in at first. He gave her some Time but then carefully pressed her Head down further. He was already hard and had to take care that he wouldn’t cum right away. Her pretty eyes and the way she talked to him drove him crazy. Softly her tongue swirled around his member and it was too much for him. ,,Get on my lap again.“ Quickly she did as she was told only to slide down on his dick. ,,Ride it.“ Her innocent eyes could make him cum without she would have to touch him. Slowly she got up and down. YN´s Moaning was filling the room. Severus pinched her nipples again, her plump lips were almost begging to be kissed. She was a goddess. Without thinking about it he did it. Kissing her lips he felt like she was demanding now. He’d do anything for her at this point. Just the elegant way she rode his dick so well made him moan again.

,,Mr. Snape, I- I´m close.“ Huffing he looked her in the eyes again. ,,Close to what, baby? You need to use full sentences.“ She moaned even louder now. His Mouth again teasing her nipples. ,,I´m close- close to cum-m.“ He held her sides to guide her up and down by now. She was getting more and more exhausted. Her thrusts became more and more sloppy. ,,Then cum with me, will you?“ Y/N nodded. ,,Yes, Mr. Snape.“ Her head hung on his shoulder as she was humming, making him hear her moans even closer and even more louder. That was the last thing it took him to cum. Filling her up, closing his eyes enjoying the intimacy. When they were done she didn’t got up instantly but waited a few seconds.

You felt his Arms holding you as his breathes hit your shoulder. Smiling you looked up at him again and pushed a few strains of hair out of his face. Daring to kiss him you felt so close to him, you never felt this intimacy before. It was a small but beautiful kiss before you slowly got up again and hurried to the bathroom to clean yourself. Severus instead just put on his Pants again and took off his long Pullover. There was no Time for that earlier. Smirking he walked into the kitchen so he could at least offer you a cup of tea.

,,You’re disgusting. Couldn’t you do that in your Bedroom?“ Lily grunted and made herself and Severus just laugh.

,,Oh shut it, Lily. You just could’ve changed the Painting. Now shh, Y/N´s coming back.“ She rolled her eyes and went back to her pose. Only to watch her best friend getting known to his future girlfriend.

Taglist: @deepperplexity , @monstreviolet , @wow-life-love4 @my taglist: Please only read if you're 18+! This chapter contains Smut!

Let me know if you want to be added in my Taglist. :)

#Severus Snape #snape #snapemas #Snapemas 2020 #snape x reader #snape x y/n #Severus Snape x reader #severus snape x y/n #prosnape #my writing #snapefiction

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everybodyscupoftea · 4 years ago

Text

sick (of you)

pike jj x reader

cody and jj are idiots, you have to deal with it

pre-relationship - sorry but i’m sure y’all knew it was coming eventually

(warnings: cursing, zero? editing)

“I told you,” you paced, “I literally told you fucking idiots that it was a dumb idea. And did you listen to me? Of course not. Don’t know why, I’m clearly the smartest one in the group.”

JJ was sitting on the couch, arms crossed petulantly, frowning, until he couldn’t hold his breath any longer and had to open his mouth to breathe.

“Fucking mouth breather,” you muttered. “Hey,” JJ protested, sounding stuffy, “it’s not my fault, it’s Tyler’s. He’s the one that challenged us in the first place.”

“And if Tyler challenged you to jump off a cliff,” you started, only to be interrupted by the man himself.

“Now there’s an idea.”

“No,” you glared at him, “no dying on my watch.”

“Simply do not watch,” he shrugged.

Ignoring him, you went on, “Now all you idiots are sick and who has to house you for the time being? Me. Because the rest of the house kicked you out so you didn’t spread it to all of them.”

“I really don’t think we would,” Cody spoke up for the first time.

“I really think you would, boys are fucking gross as it is.”

“Yet here you are,” JJ smirked.

“Only because I love you guys, I wouldn’t otherwise.”

“Hmm, I disagree, you’re simply the best of us.”

“Well I certainly suppose that’s the truth,” you decided to take the compliment even though Cody was clearly just buttering you up.

You sighed, as JJ coughed pathetically, “Some soup would be awesome,” he suggested.

“Sure. I’ll order some from Panera. Then Tyler can babysit while I take a shower.”

“Woah,” Tyler held his hands up, “why do I have to babysit?”

“You’re the reason they jumped into the pool in 20 degree weather asshole. Reap what you sow,” you pointed at him accusingly.

He sighed, put upon, “Fine.”

“You guys are just lucky Zach is out of town because if he weren’t and I couldn’t see him until you fools get better, I’d be mad.”

“Where’s Zach?” JJ asked, sitting up.

“He’s with his parents for the next two weeks. He’s coming back straight after Christmas.”

Cody waved his hand, “It’s fine, we’ll FaceTime him eventually.”

Tyler left after a day because he didn’t want to get sick. He said it wasn’t his fault they forgot to get their flu shots. Which, to be fair, it wasn’t yours either, but you were nice enough to let them crash on an air mattress in your living room for the time being.

And to your fear, they got stir crazy quick. Cody was the first to start whining, “We’ve literally watched everything on Netflix.”

You raised your eyebrows, “They literally posted a new season of Criminal Minds yesterday that we haven’t even started yet. I’m literally waiting on you hand and foot. Not getting paid and risking my health. What the fuck could you possibly be complaining about?”

Cody did at least have the decency to look a little chargrained, “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

You sighed, thinking a few seconds, “I could paint your nails if you want.”

JJ brightened immediately, “Yes please. Can you do Christmas colors? Tis the season and whatnot.”

Standing from the couch, you shrugged, “Unsure, let me go check what colors I have.”

There was no green, but you did have red and white, JJ hummed, “Candy cane. Good enough for me.”

“I’m not doing stripes,” you warned, “but I’ll alternate fingers.”

“Deal.”

So you settled in, all three of you on the floor, and started the new season of Criminal Minds. It started quiet, but Cody got antsy quickly and started talking, “So, how are things with you and Zach?”

“Good,” you answered, tongue sticking out a bit in focus, “I talked to him last night. Things are going well at home. As well as can be at least.”

JJ knew nothing about Zach’s home life and the pressure his family but on him, but Cody did, so he nodded understandingly, “Fuck, well I’m glad it’s not a total shitshow.”

“Yeah. When he gets back we’re celebrating our anniversary. It was actually a few weeks ago, but obviously finals and now he’s not here so.”

“Oh yeah, what are you getting him?” JJ asked eagerly, crossing his legs and leaning forward on his elbows.

Your cheeks heated up, “It sounds so dumb, but I was planning for the main gift to be me telling him that I love him.”

Cody cooed and JJ wrinkled his eyebrows, “You haven’t told him yet?”

Sighing, you looked up at him, “No, why?”

“Has he told you?”

“Well, yeah.”

JJ hummed, “I see.”

Defensively, you crossed your arms, “I’m not obligated to tell him just because he’s told me. That’s not how relationships work.”

JJ’s eyebrows shot up and he held his hands out, “Hey, not accusing. Just wondering. It’s not personally how I’d like things to be done.”

You scoffed, slamming the cap back into the nail polish bottle, “Well guess what, you not only have zero say in my relationship, you also have zero control over me or my feelings. Zach and I have talked about it and turns out he’s not a selfish dickhead and understands where I’m coming from.”

Cody raised his eyebrows at your snap and put a hand on your shoulder, “Help us understand, sweetheart. Talk it out.”

Without meaning to, you teared up, frustrated that you had to defend yourself to two boys who didn’t really need to know, but you were going to do it anyway.

“I don’t want to say I love you to someone until we’ve been dating at least a year. Because love is a choice, feelings of attraction are how two people get together, but feelings fade, ask literally any girl. Based on how you know that person, you choose to keep being with them. You choose to love them despite their flaws, despite their mistakes, and despite the things you may not like so much about them.”

You paused, taking a shuddering breath and blinked back the tears, “And once I’ve chosen that person for a year and they’ve chosen me. Then I’ll say it. Because being in love with someone isn’t something I just take flippantly, it’s not just a word to casually throw around. It means something to me. So I’m sorry if my reasoning isn’t up to your standards.”

They were both quiet for a moment, JJ wouldn’t meet your eyes, but Cody lunged forward, wrapping his arms around you tightly. For a split second, you melted into it before realizing he was there because he had the flu and jerked away.

Face hot you stood up, “Finish your own nails, I’ll be in my room.”

Pacing a few times, you turned your phone over in your hands anxiously. You didn’t have anything to prove to them, you and Zach really had talked about it. But as tears rose in your eyes, and your throat tightened, you dialled the number.

Zach picked up on the second ring, greeting you breathlessly. You could hear the smile on his lips and had to wonder how the fuck you deserved this sweet sweet boy. And it was very clear to you, you loved him, would keep choosing him because no one else knew you quite like him, not even your friends.

“Hey hon,” you managed to croak out.

He sounded concerned, “What’s wrong, sweetheart.”

“I just,” you paused and twisted your fingers in your shirt until you’d calmed down, “I wanted to let you know that I love you.”

Zach was quiet, stunned into it if you had to guess, and he eventually whispered back, “I love you too.”

It gave you enough relief to lay down and relax. The two of you spent the next few minutes catching up, and eventually went silent, listening to each other breathe.

“I missed you,” you whispered, and then a bit louder, “or I guess I should say miss.”

“I miss you too, so much. I want to see you, and my parents haven’t been,” he paused, looking for the word, “good enough to justify me staying here.”

You sat up, excited, “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Oh my god. Okay, I’ll see you soon?”

“You absolutely will.”

When you walked back out to rejoin the boys, you felt significantly better. Sitting down, in the armchair instead of the couch with them like you had been, you told them cheerfully, “Better get well soon because Zach is coming home early, and I’m ready to see him.”

Cody cheered and JJ looked at you with a face you couldn’t quite figure out. After a few seconds, you got a bit annoyed, “What?”

“Nothing,” he mumbled, finally looking away.

day 16 of @obxmermaid‘s holiday challenge: under the weather

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank fic #pike!jj #cody and tyler #outer banks #outer banks fic #obxmermaidholiday #frat!jj

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blackmissfrizzle · 5 years ago

Text

Good Girl

Pairing: Chris Evans x black!reader

Summary: The reader acts up at a party and a Chris decides to do something about.

Warnings: Smut of course 😏

A/N: Apparently I have a thing about writing Chris in secret relationships. This fic was inspired by the photo below 👇🏿

Oh shit, you were fucked! He stood there angry in his all white linen suit with his drink in his hand.

You should’ve known better not to piss him off like that, but when the party started you were in a petty mood. Chris and you had some little argument that you couldn’t even remembered what it was about before your party and being your petty little self, you decided to make him jealous.

There was a bunch of celebrities at your pool party and you spent most of your time twerking on Drake. To everyone else that was normal, but to Chris you were crossing a line. No one knew that you two were a couple, because as a renowned club owner you didn’t want to get involve with any celebrity and it’s also fun to sneak around at events.

“Y/N/N, where’s somewhere quiet I can go? My agent won’t stop calling me?” His fake niceness had you scared. There was no way you were gonna fall for that.

“Anywhere upstairs is fine. But fair warning, if you end up in my room, don’t judge me.” You turned back to continue your conversation with your friends, but Chris wasn’t easily deterred.

“How about you be my guide and that won’t happen?” His smile was inviting, but you had to be strong.

As you were trying to say no, Megan was standing behind him, mimicking the cowgirl position, mouthing to you to “Tap that.”

To get Megan to stop and knowing you’d be in even more trouble if you told Chris no, you escorted him upstairs.

Chris had to restrain himself walking up the stairs behind you. All his attention was on the curve of your ass and how it was eating up your bikini bottoms.

“Walking slow won’t stop your punishment. In fact, the longer you make me wait, the harsher it’ll be.” Chris informed you, catching onto your reason for going up the stairs so slow.

Wanting to get it over with, you ran up the rest of the way up to your room. Once you were inside, Chris didn’t say a word. He just stared at you while rolling up his sleeves.

“You can’t spank me this time. The marks would show and I’m not covering up. This bikini is too cute.” You tried to establish some semblance of dominance.

Still Chris didn’t say a word. He just quirked an eyebrow that said, “Oh really?” Chris gently pushed you to your knees, pulling out his hardened length.

You already knew the punishment and assumed the position, hands on your thighs and mouth open. Chris pushed his stiffened dick in your mouth and begun to throat fuck you.

Thanks to all your training, you were able to fit him all the way in your mouth, but he was still brutal with his thrusts and you loved it. “Since you wanna act like a slut, I’m gonna treat you like one.” Chris grunted above you.

His strokes reminded you of how he treats your pussy, rough and methodical. You had to dig your nails into your thighs to stop them from dipping inside your bikini bottoms; you didn’t need to get into anymore trouble with Chris.

Chris’ eyes dipped down to you and he darkly chuckled at your struggle. He pulled out of your mouth with an audible pop and leaned towards your face, gripping the sides tightly. “Awww, look at the little slut. Me fucking your throat made your tight little pussy wet, huh? You want me to fuck that pussy, don’t you?”

“Yes, daddy,” you whimpered.

He spit in your mouth and shoved his thumb inside for you to suck. “Well, who am I to deny my baby girl? Get on the bed.”

Quickly, you jumped to your feet and laid on the bed. Not too long after, Chris stripped down and joined you on the bed. You didn’t get to admire the work of an art he calls a body, because he flipped you over on your stomach. With his teeth he untied your bikini and pulled it off.

Once you were completely naked, he ordered you to arch your back. Chris wasted no time and slammed into you, almost causing you to cum right at that moment.

Gripping the back of your neck, Chris grunted in your ear, “Don’t you dare fucking cum until I say you can.”

A muffled ‘yes sir’ escaped your lips and Chris resumed his pace. By the way he was fucking you, you could tell this was all about his pleasure, but you were still enjoying it. Subconsciously, Chris always assured you were pleased when you were in trouble with him, that’s why you were always being a brat.

“Can I- cann can I- can I please cum?” You begged through Chris’s masterful strokes.

“Hell no! Only good girls who know who they belong to can cum. Did you really think I let you cum after you shaking your ass on another man in front of me? Oh sweetheart, that’s adorable,” Chris taunted.

Aware that he was running low on time before your party guests would be curious about where you and Chris was at, he began chasing his release. The sound of you begging him over and over again pushed him over the edge, making him paint your walls with his nut.

All he wanted to do is bask in his post-nut afterglow and cuddle with you, but y’all had a party to get and your punishment still wasn’t over. So, regretfully he got up and went to get a towel to clean you up.

After he made sure you were good, he got dressed again and came to sloppily kiss you, taking your breath away. “Get dressed and be downstairs in five minutes. If you’re not, you’ll get a repeat of what just happened all night long.” He threatened with a squeeze of your neck before walking back downstairs.

Hurriedly, you put your bikini back on, which was torture because it rubbed against your sensitive clit. You spent your last minute looking for one more piece of clothing before heading back outside. Luckily, you found it in the nick of time, because you knew Chris would be timing you and if you were even a second late, he would make good on his promise.

Chris’ eyes lit up when he saw you. He had to fight the smirk on his face when he noticed you in a swimsuit sarong. Even without him saying anything, he knew he had an influence on you.

Desperately, you wanted to curl up next to him and hang on his arm, but you couldn’t. So, you settled for the next best thing: randomly popping up in conversations he had. Chris was social so, he talked to various groups of people and you being the hostess gave you the perfect opportunity to suddenly appear in those groups.

It was becoming so frequent that Meg began to notice, but she kept her mouth quiet until you started to pretend to be sick. “Bitch, ain’t nothing wrong with you. You just trying to get rid of everyone so you can have Chris all to yourself.”

“How’d you know?” You whispered.

Meg scrunched up her face and laughed at you, pulling you away from the rest of your guests. “Girl, you’ve been near him since he’d broke your back upstairs. Who knew Captain America was so nasty?”

Your jaw dropped at her revelation. “Your secret is safe with me. I’m just mad you ain’t tell me sooner. How long y’all two been together?”

“A couple of months.”

“Well, I guess I understand why y’all keeping it a secret. Don’t want the media all in your business.”

“Exactly! And the sneaking around makes the sex so much better.” Both you and Megan laughed so loud at your joke that y’all made people look at y’all to see what was so funny.

“Since, you figured us out can you do me a huge favor?” You asked with puppy dog eyes and a pout.

Your friend laughed at you because she already knew what the favor was. “Start telling people you don’t feel well and get them the hell up out your house?” Enthusiastically you shook your head yes. “Girl, I got you. Go lay on a lounge chair and I’ll start clearing out.”

Thankful that you had a great friend in Megan, you laid on the chair, appearing sick.

“Alright y’all, now y’all don’t have to go home but you got to get the hell up out of here! My bestie don’t feel good and y’all gots to go!” You had to hold back your smile after listening to Meg’s announcement.

Everyone understood and started to file out. Some would stop by to tell you to feel better and walk off, but one person decided to sit in the chair next to you, blocking the sun. “You’re something else. You know that right?”

Cracking one eye open you peeked at your boyfriend and smiled at him. “How else am I gonna get you alone? And I really do feel sick.”

Chris laid his hand against your forehead. “Huh, you don’t have a fever. What kind of sickness is this?”

“It’s perpetual horiness and can only be cured by penetration from the patient’s boyfriend.”

The way the two of you were seated had other’s view of what you were doing blocked. Grabbing his hand, you slipped it in your bottoms for him to feel how horny he left you. “See daddy, you got me all wet. You just gonna let your baby girl suffer like this?”

He couldn’t resist you or himself anymore. Chris had to see you cum, and it was going to be because of him. “No, I won’t. Lay back and let daddy take care of you.” Chris ordered, just before he started fingering you.

His fingers were hitting the right spot, making you quiver so hard you leaned into Chris, gripped his forearm and cover your mouth with it to quiet your moans.

Both of you were too caught up in chasing your pleasure that you didn’t notice Sebastian and Anthony approach you.

“Oh wow, you don’t look or sound too hot Y/N,” Anthony commented, mistaking your moan of pleasure for one of pain.

Instead of letting you talk, Chris responded. “Yeah that’s why I’m gotta stay back and make her some of my mom’s famous tomato soup.”

Sebastian winced at the mention of Chris taking care of you. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad thing. One time I got sick on set and Chris went total mother hen on me. So, don’t be surprised when your ready to kick him out.”

Just to ensure you didn’t let a moan slip out, you offered them a small smile. The boys talked a little bit more with Chris before finally leaving.

Once they were out of earshot you punched Chris in his shoulder. “Did you really have to keep fingering me while you talked to them?”

“C’mon don’t pretend like you didn’t like it,” Chris smirked at you. “I bet that turned you on even more.”

You hid your face in the crook of his arm because you didn’t want him to know that he was right. Something about him fucking you while talking to his friends turned you on.

When you didn’t respond to him, Chris moved his fingers faster and started circling your clit. Your orgasm hit you like a freight train and this time you actually bit into his arm to stop you from screaming out in ecstasy.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful when you cum. Daddy’s gonna take care if you all night, ok?” Chris pushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Alright, the house is cleared out and I’m about to head out. Have fun, you nasties,” Megan announced.

You and Chris both thanked Megan and told her goodbye. As soon as you heard the door closed Chris picked you up and ran up the stairs.

He threw you on the bed and began to strip. “You’re gonna be a good girl from now on? Cause daddy doesn’t like punishing you.”

Licking your lips, you crawled off the bed and help Chris take off his pants. “Yes, daddy. I’ll be good.”

Chris cupped your cheek and kissed you deeply. “Good. Now get naked and get that pretty ass in the bed, so daddy can take care of you properly.”

This time you eagerly followed Chris’ instructions, knowing being a good girl would get you exactly what you wanted.

Tags: @chaneajoyyy @chrisevansbabymama @titty-teetee @cocooned-butterfly @twistedcharismaaa @soufcakmistress

#chris evans #chris evans x black!reader #chris evans x reader #chris x black!reader #chris x reader #rpf fanfic #chris evans rpf #black!reader #frizzlefic #frizzlesfic #cevans

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middleinthenight21 · 5 years ago

Text

Ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?

@ravenfan1242 I don't know what I would do without your help. I have told you.

You are incredibly beautiful 💕

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.

"So funny." Garfield smiled and Raven grimaced.

The demons smiled when they saw that they had lost, and the angels looked away from the pain.

"Why are you with me? "

The phrase came out hard and cold, as if she were asking a criminal why he decided on that life. She was tired and angry, tired of going through the uncertainty that his voice loved her so much and not meeting her expectations, of wondering what would become of Garfield if Terra hadn't died and wanted to get him out of her veins.

She clearly saw the disinterest; it was tattooed on his soul and he did not realize it.

If he gave her a reason to stay ...

Garfield looked up. "Excuse me?"

It's now or never.

"Maybe you should free me." She leaned against the counter. Her hands dug into the soft fabric of her clothing, like an anchor; She hadn't expected her heart to squeeze, she kept screaming, hitting the walls to stop it, but her mind reminded her that she was the girl who survived hell. Gathering her strength "Why are you with me? " She repeated.

Suddenly she's tired of building walls around the relationship to watch them fall repeatedly. She no longer wants to murmur that they are okay with others when they ignored each other, from having rowdy arguments only to end up coming back, offering flowers and hugs, as if that was enough to convince her, she had wasted whole nights trying to square their differences, watching the heavens and whispering to their gods to end all this.

She had been taught in stories that love should hurt, otherwise it wouldn't be worth it in the end. You get to know him, you fall in love, you suffer until you get your happy ending, cost and prize.

Fuck this love.

If he's playing, just let her know.

He sent her a painful look, put his cell phone aside "Rae…"

No, they would not do this again.

She stepped back.

Garfield stood up, smoothing down his pajamas, and for the first time in months she saw him take on a serious expression. He walked slowly, like stepping on needles and spread his hands trying to join them, but she moved away, shaking her head repeatedly.

"I love you. Rae please. " One of his hands caressed her cheek. He brushed her short hair behind her ear. "I love only you. Nobody else. "

She stepped back, pulling his hands away, and muttered, "You know it's not true."

She didn't realize how much it hurt until the words left her mouth. They became a curse, a truth that turned hearts to dust, but for Raven it is not an unusual sensation, more like hearing the last words of a condemned man.

She crossed her arms ignoring his face "We both know this was going to end like this. "

Garfield shook his head and put their foreheads together, she could no longer fight this. She saw his aura weaving into deep blue, a shade she didn't often see, but it wasn't the same as when a certain person died in his arms, it's not that sadness.

It was not the same.

Her green hair was soft, heshe smelled of shampoo made of plants, like a forest, and his breath of milk, like a cat; his hands cupped her cheeks being tender and soft. She almost melted, a part of her wanted to be left alone to receive his attention and affection, it told her stories of how they could rebuild and evolve, she would eat from the leftovers for a while longer until she realized that she is malnourished and sick.

Her father teased her about being too silly, laughed at Garfield and the situation.

"Come on, Raven. I love you and I want to be with you" he said. One of his hands went down to her jaw to trace her neck and settle on the nape of her neck, wanting them to get even closer. "Don't stop this. Don't do this to us. "

She closed her eyes tight.

Get out of this. It's now or never.

She pulled away, denying with a broken voice and tear-clouded eyes. Perhaps this was a weakness, a vicious cycle, for a long time he was her toxin, a drug that was destroying her every day, but she continued to cling to the pleasurable effects, dependence and habit helped her ignore the adverse factors.

Something that made you feel so good couldn't hurt you, right?

"I will not return to the same. We've been like this a long time, Gar" He looked at her; Her green eyes reflecting pain and she swears she'll miss having him so close. "Think about the future, you would be unhappy by my side; be honest you will never love me. We will be miserable together"

"Why are you doing this? "

Why was he acting like it was her fault? He knew what she was talking about, he saw what was hurting them. She gave the final blow, but that fight already started long ago.

The answer was clear "Because I'm not her. "

He stepped back, opening his mouth and closing it, unable to answer. Garfield was hurt, her words were like daggers and she felt terrible, but it is the truth; Raven is not Terra and is exhausted from pretending that he loves her.

For eight months she was a ghost, a specter threatening in the corners, Raven felt her presence unnoticeable in the eyes of the boy who swore he loved her; He was running after someone who would never belong to him and turned his torment on her, carrying her bound in chains with caresses. The chains wouldn't hurt until they hurt her wrists, his caresses turned into pins, and he would never admit that it was his fault.

Okay, she would accept it.

She didn't directly name Terra, but it's not a taboo in her mouth. After two years, the name of the former Titans member still hurt, it was a wound that would never heal for Garfield, perhaps it would live forever, nailed to his bones and running through his veins.

She hit him hard in a vulnerable spot and it felt wrong, like desecrating a holy temple, but she had no other way to show him the truth. Before they were dating, they were friends and Raven ruined everything.

His friendship, his love and companionship.

She bowed her head.

"Hey, sweetheart."

Dick smiles at the door and his girlfriend frowns, realizing something is wrong, but by then Raven is already gone.

A million thoughts go through her mind, like a whirlpool. When she opens the door to the roof of the tower the sky is a thick gray soup, there are no traces of the sun's rays, but the promise of a rain.

***

She always returned to Riva Street every time a memory haunted her.

Gotham has the charm of a Francisco de Goya painting, somewhat dark and twisted, it has Wayne Tower, a standard of progress for the city; Raven remembers her open mouth trying to analyze the immensity of the fortune and the power of the millionaire family of the city of the bat, Metropolis shone like the sun in summer, it was beautiful and wide, guarded by the most powerful hero in the world, but not compared to the magnificence of Wayne Tower, the Daily Planet looked like just one more figure blending in with the city, in her time in Azarath she was surrounded by incredible beauty and temples, Jump City was insignificant compared to the places she saw with her eyes, it was a city with the smell of a port, whose inhabitants depended on the coast and tourism.

Gotham has Wayne Tower, Metropolis tot Daily Planet, and Azarath had its temples, but none have Riva Street.

When Raven joined the Titans, she was a hurt and scared girl, who saw deaths, destruction, and dwelt in hell, loving a being who was unable to feel, value, and deserve love, but she had. That was her mistake.

She felt like a stranger, an invisible entity wandering the streets of a foreign city; She looked like a girl, but inside she felt much older. Starfire had shaken her hand, as if she needed a direction, held it so sweetly that she almost cried because she had been stroked long ago with the same kind of love.

Emotions came to her like the wind, it was a strong current that pushed her back almost releasing the hand of the alien princess, but she just whispered that she shouldn’t be scared. Raven had frowned because she probably thought she was shocked by the number of people roaming the streets and that couldn't be further from the truth.

Dick smiled at the scene. Even meters away, she sensed the warmth, how the hero's heart beat strongly, like a horse's trot and almost fell to the melted ground, she believed that it could not be more clear, it was obvious that he wanted the newly baptized leader of the Titans.

She grimaced, wanting to get away from this situation.

Raven did not want this familiarity, she did not deserve it after her choices. Sooner or later it would go wrong, the prophecy was set in stone, it was impossible to erase, and it was the first time that she seriously considered getting lost in the streets and disappearing forever.

Starfire led her by the hand towards a store, eager to try on an outfit she saw on a mannequin, but the girl's vision was focused on an alley, it did not seem part of the city with its buildings and gray streets. It was a corner with the cobblestone floor, small houses painted in different colors, square like match boxes with beautiful terraces adorned with flowers and plants. The restaurants served pizzas, spaghetti and all kinds of typical dishes, people gathered around tables chatting with their friends and families.

She watched people reading, laughing with their children and couples shaking hands.

The aura was tinged with pink, a color that she had never seen before in a concentration that made the sky seem like a sunset.

"If you want, we can go," Dick interjected.

She nodded, showing no emotion.

Years later, she continued to walk down Riva Street, that hidden alley that did not correspond to the city, just like her. Riva street was her, with its relaxed atmosphere, small family restaurants, ice cream parlors and bookstores, it was her secret, nobody knew how much she liked it.

Raven had started and finished books at this place. She created memories, like a buried capsule that few knew about.

It was too intimate.

She knew that her home was with her friends, the people she considers as family, who would die for her and would protect her with their life. It is not a place, but if she would ever settle it would be on this street.

Raven would lease an apartment on Riva Street, perhaps on the second floor of that bookstore with the unpronounceable name that specializes in classics and mystery novels; She would have a cat or dog as a pet who would walk by her side, read on the benches and it would feel great. She would rebuild her relationship with herself.

It was a nice dream.

She sat in a chair waiting for her coffee.

She took the book out of her bag. The first edition of The Raven glowed with its worn cover, it had become a symbol, a sign that her feelings must be thrown away in the trash, the moment she realized it and ran a hand over the object, stroking the bird image.

She frowned.

Her heart gave a painful beat, but she was not ill. She had been through this situation before; She knew this emotion and she was not going to allow it to continue.

How did it make a difference if she started liking him or it was dumb confusion at a low time?

Not that she had much experience around relationships. Her previous relationship was living proof, since then she had made a calculation, perhaps the outcome was not entirely her fault, but Raven tended to cling to people who would never feel the same way about her, loved and hoped they would return it. Her father, her demonic brothers, Garfield ...

Damian would only be one more number on her list. He was already having a bad time for her to have confusion, he didn't need any more drama in his life, where did she come in? Raven was going to destroy their relationship, she had to end it all.

It hadn't been long since she had ended it with Garfield, this couldn't happen to her now. It was just a passing taste, a flutter, and it would go away, like a butterfly.

Did her heart so quickly forget about Beast Boy? She almost shook her head, her words still got stuck when she saw him and she wished that she would confess the truth to him., Give a better explanation of why she abandoned him, because she left him before he did and left him pained on the sidewalk, but it is different, it is that kind of affection accompanied by bad memories, the one that asks for an apology and demands it.

With Damian it's different, it was stupid of him ...

She couldn't help but feel terrible. She felt like a bad person, wanting a friend was the worst thing that could happen to her. She had seen him for years as her best friend, they helped each other when they collapsed due to some circumstance and boy, they had., They talked about books and movies, they could sit down; share a tea and chat about a period of history. With Damian and she would respond with the same interest.

Random, she was going to ruin everything.

Don't feel, she told himself. Don't start, if you do you will want more. You are not that kind of girl.

He deserved a young daughter from a wealthy family, a Gotham princess, and even a model. If they didn't notice her best friend because of his attractiveness, they would because of what he represents. She heard that such powerful family practice was usual (like a novel), although she couldn't imagine Bruce Wayne agreeing with that.

Raven was but a half-breed, half human and demon; someone who was unaware of many terrestrial customs, an anonymous name that was forged from the depths of hell. An abomination, a protégé, destruction and the girl who became a hero hidden under a hood.

A strange sensation invaded her body, as if someone or something was watching her. The air was a mix of pink and green, which she had seen in few people; It is not a secret that Raven can see the aura, they would normally be tinted red, yellow, blue, purple to gold, but green was difficult to find.

She had only seen this shade of green on one person.

"Blessed chance."

She looked up, suppressing a shiver. Out of sheer inertia the book slid forward, almost ripped it from her fingers, and a chill ran through her entire spine, like a fleeting fire; appeared and left instantly.

What was he doing here?

If it wasn't for the voice, she wouldn't recognize him. Damian Wayne stood next to her with dark glasses over his eyes, a thin white scarf with black patterns, and his usual black t-shirt folded neatly to the elbows.

Titus appeared with his tongue sticking out, apparently tired and when he became aware of her presence, he approached flapping his tail. She smiled at the emotion of the dog and stroked him, he licked her hand up to her arm.

He sat down in a chair in front of her. She was surprised to see him leave the tower, since the drama on social networks he had not wanted to pronounce on anything with any of his identities.

Batman, the Justice League, and the Titans suggested solutions, from official statements to videos giving their reasons, but he dismissed it with one hand and focused on training. He didn't do any more, locked himself in and improved his techniques (in her opinion, he didn't need it), now he was he, in front of her showing most of his face.

Maybe Damian got tired, he was an active person, she was pretty sure that in the time they met didn't see a single day of laziness, he kept his hands busy; When he was not on patrol, he trained, when he did not train, he devoted himself to research, or he cleaned the room, sharpened his weapons, or contacted Wayne Manor asking for an update on the events there.

"You must keep an eye on your enemies as well as your allies"

"We are talking about your family, Damian" she replied.

"It does not matter"

She raised an eyebrow "I would ask you about the scarf, but I don't want to insult your taste."

"This scarf is made to make me invisible to the cameras."

She bit her lip to keep from laughing. Damian wouldn't appreciate laughter at his expense but she found it funny.

"Like a superpower?"

He rolled his eyes.

"It was designed by ..." He looked at the table, more specifically at the book interrupting what he was going to say. His eyes traveled from the object to Raven, as if trying to square two different things in a single scene and she never wanted to take it out of her bag. "It's from an online store” he corrected himself. " Now his voice was much more comfortable. "Many celebrities use it to make it impossible for paparazzi to take photos. "

She thought about it.

People had calmed down a bit, basically because Robin disappeared assigning missions in remote places, what surprised her most was that he did not protest. At first she had believed that negativity did not affect him, that he would turn off all opinions and focus on himself, but Damian had acted like a wounded animal, every time a camera pointed at his face he transformed into a more sullen version., He bit with his words when talking about his reputation and he left the Titans to be seen only in short periods of the day.

She had not seen him in a week.

"I didn't know you knew this place."

For a long time, she thought that Riva street was hers. It is not a crowded place, when you compete against luxury shops, festivals and fairs, a cobbled street taken from an old movie is not a great novelty.

He raised an eyebrow.

"Grayson said they wouldn't harass me here."

"Dick?"

Shrugged.

His shoulders had widened, and his muscles were protruding under the thin fabric, she was jealous that the material would embrace him highlighting the perfection of his body. His tanned skin darkened over the years from exposure to unprotected sunlight, he was strong, and he was acquiring new scars.

She looked at his hands, a collection of scars like silver threads running through his fingers, one of them going through his wrists. She wanted to know what had happened, to ask if it was hurting from the cold and if it really led the other way.

It was like a faded flower imprinted on his skin. A scar is a patch of skin that grows on a wound, insensitive to touch, but would he feel anything if she touched it?

Do not start.

"He named this street." Damian didn't seem very impressed, although his expressions are difficult to read. At first she found this frustrating, it reminded her of Batman's aura, a cloud that could not fade to see the true color, but his son was a green color like his eyes, but his exterior had been sculpted based on hard training, emotional manipulation, control and pain. The green is dull now, like dried moss. “He promised me that no one would bother me.”

She looked at the scarf.

"So that's just as a precaution and ... "

She was interrupted by the waiter carrying her coffee, a donut dusted in sugar and the house specialty, some delicious focaccias. She felt the tug of hunger in her stomach as the smell of olive and spices reached her nose.

Damian frowned.

"What? " She took a sip of the coffee; the drink was at its perfect point. The Costa restaurant is small, rustic with that stone façade and the chairs made of hand-carved wood; she felt the urge to defend it. "Yes, it is…"

"I didn't say anything." He grimaced. He would say it "I was just wondering why you were so quiet and serious in the Tower, while here you show more emotion to that donut than to the Titans,” he said.

He put the coffee aside.

He was right.

"You too have been silent."

Damian crossed his arms supporting his back. Titus played around a fountain, drinking the water and letting some children caress him, from here she felt the laughter and affectionate names that were dedicated to him and the animal bathed with love, its owner almost smiled. Almost.

Right now, he looks like he's getting his weapons ready for battle, his expression was determined and wild, and he must ...

"Is it because of Garfield?"

She steps back, and a bucket of cold water falls on her body.

"What? "

Uncertainty passed over her face and hardened her.

Why was he doing this? Raven sees a feeling, believes her powers have touched him, and would go deep, but instantly he blocks it entirely, his emotions and feelings painted under a dark canvas. He left her blind, only believing that her had the confidence to reveal a portion of himself.

She was surprised that he named her former partner, since he did not express interest in their relationship. Damian was non-sentimental; He would probably scoff at the honeyed explanations his older brother so badly wanted to get into his head; Jason would have a dirtier one, full of inordinate sex and add treason to it, just for the drama; Tim would give a talk about the chemical processes that were triggered when someone liked you, but he was not interested, he saw it as a necessity, a small distraction in his eternal crusade.

"Did you finish?"

As if that would explain everything, but what if it did? After the breakup with Garfield, she plunged into meditation, turning off her father's voice, but it followed her everywhere, repeating what she really was.

She became like thorns. If someone got close enough, they would only get a prick, there were no flowers in the first season or leaves in the summer, so she kept herself alone and promised that she would not be touched.

Garfield's face turned into punishment, if only she hadn't hurt him. It was too late, she is alert when he is close and knows why.

She really understood it.

Damian looked her in the eye. "I know it was a difficult breakup."

She looked down.

"It was. "

She did not lie, there was no need. Her affirmation was like a consolation, she just needed to let him go.

"I'm sorry. "

She raised her head. She never heard Gotham's bat son apologize to anyone, those phrases were not in his mouth, his tone was soft, like calm after a storm.

She smiled.

They shared a long look. At first, he looked serious, despite not wearing his Robin mask it felt like an eye mask, hiding the true emotion reflected in his eyes.

Damian smiled.

A dimple left on his cheek, and wrinkles formed around his eyes, making them look smaller, his expression softened, as if he had never been through torment. It was unlike any other smile she had ever seen, it was not arrogant, nor of victory or conceit; This was not the trained assassin destined to turn the world into a dystopia, he was not the angry and vengeful boy struggling to find a place next to his father, emerging as Robin, he was not the son of a famous billionaire, nor the hero that everyone hated, but Damian. It was soft and beautiful.

The first time he saw a genuine Damian Wayne smile was on Riva Street.

So, she knew she made a mistake and would never see Riva Street the same way. This street had represented intimacy, the beginnings and ends of novels, the best coffee she had ever tasted, flavors that she had not tried before, reflections and the smile on someone's lips. He had become entangled in her soul, the memories lost relevance compared to this moment and a feeling of fear of loss settled in her stomach, like a blow.

The story ends. Now.

Raven's smile disappeared from her face.

***

Raven had come up the stairs when the sun was barely caressing the mountains, a blanket hanging from her shoulders, a steaming tea floating behind her, and a book under her arm.

The roof of the Tower of the Titans gave a general view of the city. The blowing of the wind was strong, charging from the north, the color-degraded sky and a handful of stars remained in the sky.

Seagulls flew around the construction, squawking as if announcing the start of the day. The air was frozen, like sticking her head into a refrigerator and her nose was kissed by the cold.

Years ago, she read here, with the tranquility and amazement at dawn. Normally, the tower was full of noise, screaming, and disorder, making it impossible to read and struggling to find solitude around seven quirky teens, plus an alien princess with a tendency to incinerate food and her boyfriend with a highly activated parental sense.

It was a strange combination, but it works.

She sat on the floor wrapping the blanket around her shoulders holding back a shiver, sipped a shot of green tea, and watched the sunrise, amazed by the colors.

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

The pad of her fingers caressed the illustration, noticing the relief and ink of the illustration of the egg sitting on a wall with little Alice watching.

"Do you think it will disappear if you don't take it?"

Damian sat still in Robin's uniform; his face shows cuts and the purple colors began to manifest in the high point of his left cheek.

"What happened? "

"Patrol. "

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Always so expressive.

She watched him "You look tired. "

He snorts, but doesn't contradict her, and that's a confirmation. Damian had been behind a gang of robbers, and was recently called by Batman while away for two weeks; Photos surfaced in magazines and on social media about the charity event bringing the family together in honor of Martha Wayne, without However, if Bruce Wayne summoned him it would not be solely for that, the vigilante was having to contain the Joker.

Raven knew that it required the whole family.

When Damian arrived, he was angry and spent all his time on patrol, so he was living with his brothers and he needed to get rid of the teasing, arguments and annoyance.

Three days later she has him in front of her with his legs trembling and sweat dripping down his forehead.

"You should sleep," she recommended.

He clicks his tongue and his chest rises and falls. "When I was seven years old, I was awake for four days, just feeding on the vegetation of the place and the river water. This is nothing to me. "

She imagines a child abandoned in the middle of the forest, hungry and starving. It doesn't seem like an achievement.

She grimaces.

"What? "

She chose not to express it. He could take it as a criticism, or get irritated., Damian is not known for his tolerance of others' arguments, especially when it comes to his past, and equally who is she to argue about his story?

"Nothing. "

She reread the book.

All the king's horses

And all the king's men

Couldn't put Humpty

Together again.

"It's one of my favorite rhymes," he declares sleepily.

Raven grimaces.

He is looking at her, his eyes struggle to close, and she can see the struggle to stay seated… If only he wasn't so proud.

An impulse makes its way inside her and she thinks of the teenager who gave her a book. The one who appeared on Riva Street accompanied by his pet, who spoke about poetry and rhymes when tiredness is about to knock him down. She takes off the mask, it is soft and almost feels like a mass in her hands, he protests, but he is are just babbling.

"I'm going to hit Drake and-" "He can't tell enough; his head falls and heshe straightens his brow several times. Raven almost smiled. "Father and… They almost kidnapped Grayson…" He tries to formulate a complete sentence, but the voice simply leaves him. Before he falls to the floor, she gently grabs his arm and helps him lie down on the floor and balls her blanket into a pillow. "I like rhymes. "

Laughter echoes off the roof.

"Are you always so chatty in the morning?"

He growls.

"I must have a poem around here." She opened the book.

It is right in there

Betwixt and between

The orchard bare

And the orchard green,

When the boughs are right

In a flowery burst

Of pink and white,

That we fear the worst.

She took a breath to read the next paragraph when she was interrupted.

"Peril of Hope. Robert Frost. "

A memory greets her after years. When the world was almost over and her father had been inserted into the glass, she felt his stench emanating from that smallness, his power and evil in her palm, she could not be careless and silly like the last time; the world did not deserve destruction and her friends almost died, she agreed to stay in hell to protect them, but he convinced her as best he could, citing poetry by Robert Frost.

"You are full of surprises."

That permanent frown disappeared, and he buried his face in the blanket, closing his eyes.

She plunged into uncertainty for a few minutes.

She watched him sleep, muttering that she is not that girl and she would not fall so easily.

She drank her tea in one gulp.

He woke up an hour later, muttering and staggering to his room, he didn't go out all day.

Raven devoted herself to meditation, while Starfire and Dick trained together.

She could feel eyes from the other side of the room, even without opening her eyes she knew who it was. From a few meters she identified that aura and presence, the colors of his soul were a deep yellow like sand.

Garfield watched her apprehensively, as if aware of an unknown detail.

Her insides twisted like a worm, wanting to take his eyes off her. She just wants to push him away.

***

The next morning Robin appears on the roof, the next and subsequent.

Damian was there, she would have a new book waiting and she would feel that it became her new religion; They were like little children who shook their shoulders and tried to learn something new.

They don't talk much.

Raven drank her tea bathed in the rising rays of the sun behind the mountains, the wind would blow her hair in different directions and she would be covered by her thick blanket. She absorbed the silence when she watched him read Walt Whitman, Charles Dickens and Herman Melville after a night patrol where he hid from the eyes of the people.

No one has seen Damian Wayne in a month.

Robin is a vigilante who takes refuge in smoke and on missions with the Titans, would participate and walk away.

’’ Doesn't it bother you? ’” She asked one day pushed by bravery. Since the cancellation he was reserved, fleeing from the great masses and behaving like an invisible entity.

He didn't look up from his reading. "What are you talking about?"

’’ The hatred of people on the internet ’’

He frowned, processing her words. "The opinions of the despicable sheep are not worth it."

"You should print it on a card."

He smiled ‘’ ’I'm not an influencer, not a celebrity, Raven. I am a vigilante and did not need third party validation… I would just like to have privacy ’’

Raven understood that.

***

That morning it felt strange, like when you have a lump in your throat that is about to give way.

Damian had not returned for three days as he was on a mission with his brothers. Therefore, there were no conversations on the roof, books and herbal tea, lunches on Riva street and she realized how much she missed him. They did not spend all day together, she did not think about him for more than an hour, but she settled into her routine with those small and significant moments, they were pieces of her days that won against vacillations.

She was longing for more.

No one had to know.

In front of the Titans, two colleagues behaved as common as ever; there was a tacit agreement of silence between them. She discovered that she liked it that way. That she wanted that privacy, she said nothing, but she knew that for Damian's public life it is complicated that whatever they had was captured by a camera and exposed, stabbing the secret. Raven did not want to meet her face in teen magazines, or that they speculated around who she is, if she valued anything in her civil identity, it gave her a sense of normality.

Raven was terrified; her father's voice followed her every morning as she made her tea in the kitchen before going up to the roof. He brought back memories of her previous relationship, distant and sad green eyes, which made her feel so good she wouldn't have to tear him apart. With each fight she had a reason to leave Garfield and there were many, and she didn't want him anymore.

She knew he would never do anything to hurt her, she knew his heart and his intentions, but love can make you see roses instead of thorns. She only knew love in poems, books and performances, they said that love is a brilliant thing, but it is ardent. She always tried to see herself through the eyes of another person, it made her feel less dirty and that there was this story where after suffering there is a person waiting, with her heart in one hand and a smile painted on her face, like a pink brushstroke.

Maybe it only works on humans.

Now she thought that love was a golden cage, that makes you feel that you live in luxury and have all the comforts of the world, but you cannot go out without a fight, without facing the person who made you forget about yourself.

Her father was no longer using insults to destabilize her, he became crueler bringing memories that she was fighting to bury. It led her to the frustration, heartbreak, and anger she felt after the discussions, her mind formulating justifications and judgments, and her breakup.

Standing in the kitchen praying because she was doing well, not regretting and avoiding remembering this as a big one: what if?

She knew that it was her father taking advantage of her fear, but she could not help thinking that it was much better to look the truth in the eyes and that part of her is happy that Damian is not there.

She hoped that it would take him long enough to forget his smile, burn his presence on Riva Street and go up to the roof watching the sunset reading in silence, without feeling that something is missing. She felt he was getting under her skin, between the cuts of her past with something she has not known and does not know how to fight it; Damian takes what he wants, his defense mechanisms react in time.

She expects him to stay away days, weeks, months, and even years.

I am the only thing you have, ungrateful girl. I'm the only one who stays.

She growled and murmured a quick spell, dulling his voice.

She realized that she doesn't just want to have her father as her company, she still has friends who show her love, and they don't care about her love life just because of her condition. That thought brings her peace.

Raven lit the kettle. It is still night when she creeps into the kitchen in her pajamas, and the thin blanket around her shoulders like a makeshift cloak; she needed a tea to fully wake up, she still felt the tiredness in her body and her eyes closed when she leaned on the table.

She was ready to watch the sunrise alone and considered going back to sleep. With or without Damian it had become a habit, it was her, what did she gain by clinging as if he were an extension? She was sure that Damian would not like someone to consider him that way, she was also finished with that topic. She was better alone.

Someone cleared his throat.

She felt hesitation and fear. She turned, watching Garfield stand at the kitchen door, hesitating instead, as if fighting to run away or stay.

A heart beats.

It is like rereading a book with an unhappy ending, she had seen this a million times. She had already given up, but he came back every time she was healing and would be weak to fall under his love, as if that would fill her, even so, she felt that the end point had already been written.

She filled her cup with hot water "I left you the rest of the water, if you want. "

"Raven," Garfield scratches his hair, unsure. His head was down. "Can we talk? "

She shook your head.

"I woke up at five in the morning with a purpose." His eyes are marked by dark circles and puffy from lack of sleep. She gives in (just a little). "It will be a moment. "

The young woman sat down at the table holding her breath. Her hands traveled to the cup embracing the warmth, and she begged all the gods and spirits of Azarath not to end up in the same place as a month ago.

Aisha, the spinning spirit of Azarath's love and suffering is laughing at her. The monks illustrated her as a lonely old woman who lives in the high mountains, where the sun always shines, pulling the strings of love from mortals and immortals. She is temperamental, if she thought you were good, she could entangle your thread of love with others the easy way, her fingers would do the braid with details, but if she decided that you didn't deserve it, then she would make a tangle between love and suffering, condemning another innocent person; her tutors were afraid of her, they thought they had to atone for any offense against the spirit. She thinks Aisha hates her.

She remained silent, and inert.

The silence is uncomfortable, it keeps and brings conversations, memories and secrets.

"I'm sorry. "

He Frowned.

Raven raised an eyebrow, still surprised by what heshe was saying. On more than one occasion she imagined that at some point he would apologize, but she did not expect his voice to break, to feel the pain reflecting on his face.

She did not know what to say. She was never good at sharing her feelings.

He probably already knew that.

"I was a terrible boyfriend," he said. She is empathetic so she feels his conflicting emotions, but one of them predominates more than the others: Guilt. "You didn't deserve it."

She is about to speak, but he interrupts her with his hands up: "Let me finish, please" He keeps his eyes down. Her hands play with a napkin, folding and spreading the paper. "I wasted what we had. Don't think I didn't love you, in fact I did. I wish I could have loved you better. " He shrugs "I hurt you. "

She grimaced.

Beast Boy pursed his lips "Now you keep your guard high when I'm around you and I know why. I'm sorry for so many things and I understand if you don't want to have anything to do with me" His hands tremble. "Before we were dating, we were friends and I didn't think about you. I just want you to know that I come back to those mornings every day and I feel horrible about how I behaved. You didn't deserve everything I threw at you when you tried, the arguments, I ignored you for days to come back to your door asking for a chance and you forgave me. I really understand yes ... "

Before we were dating, we were friends ...

I'm the only thing you have, ungrateful girl.

She takes his hand, this time there are no artificial lights or contempt "I forgive you. "

Raven really says it. She does not want to live alone having her father as a constant, it would be a sad constant and now he is angry, insulting her and screaming because she is weak, gullible and stupid, yet she smiles.

He opens and closes his mouth, surprised "Really? "

She nods "It's not like I have any other choice, we live in the same place. "

Garfield laughs and exhales a big breath, touches his chest feeling his heart and snorts "God, I thought you were going to hate me. Maybe you would curse me for all eternity. "

She rolled her eyes.

"Maybe I will…"

"Let's be friends again!" He dances around the kitchen, ignoring her words. He turns to yellow and white again. "It's cool, baby. "

Raven stands up, deciding it's too much. She embraced the book and used her powers to make the cup levitate with her footsteps.

"You are so loud."

He is smiling.

She walks to the kitchen door to watch the sunrise, but he knocks on it and she turns around.

"What wrong? "

“You deserve someone who reads Shakespeare or something like that with you and kisses the ground where you step," Garfield smiles. "You may be half demon and your father is a monster, but not everything has to be suffering. Love is not pain, Rae. "

Again, she doesn't know what to say or do, so she nods.

When she leaves the kitchen, she realizes that the lump in her throat that she has been holding since she got up, no longer exists. She feels light, like dropping a load and all the bumps, cuts and infections are healing.

She still has her struggles but abandoning one she did not collapse. Sometimes getting rid of one makes the bag not explode.

She needed that talk.

She needed to let it go completely.

As she climbs the stairs to the roof, she feels the rays of the sun entering from the open door, the light wind on her face and the squawk of seagulls, agitated in the sky that is a beautiful combination of pinks, blues and golds.

Her steps are delicate, like the fall of a feather and she thinks of the crow as more than a bird that predicts tragedies, or its black feathers the consequence of the wrath of a god.

When she opens the door, she holds her breath. Sitting on the floor writing on a pad is Damian, dressed in his civilian clothes and a bruise above his eyebrow, he carries a coffee and frowns every time he sips his drink.

His hands are quick on the sheet of paper.

She didn't know he would be here; thought he’d be away for a couple more days.

"You are late. "

She does not answer.

"Selina had a daughter."

She raises her eyebrows.

"I thought your father had more than one girlfriend." Damian looks up for the first time. He frowns. "You know, Playboy. "

So, it wasn't just a mission with his brothers, the Bat family just got bigger. Honestly, she thought the world couldn't take another Wayne, but she was wrong.

He does not say anything.

Raven sits on the ground next to him, keeping her distance.

"How are you with the arrival of the new member? "

"Good. "

Oh.

"Congratulations. "

They remain silent and she thinks that is all the information that she is going to be able to obtain from Damian. She opens her poetry book right where she leaves the separator, which consists of a withered sheet.

"My father is happy, even if he doesn't say it" He continues writing, only this time it is slower. The pen in his hand runs smoothly, as if reflecting. "I thought Selina would be a strumpet, that she would give him carnal relief and then leave, but my father seems… comfortable. Dick says it makes him less intense. "

Dick.

For Azarath, Dick must be overflowing with joy.

"How is she? "

Damian grimaces.

"Pink. "

She laughs "Yes, I suppose all the babies at the beginning are. "

"Helena is small, like really small, so much so that my father fears that she will break if one of us carries her." When she is not crying, she is sleeping or eating" he pauses. "Selina says the first few months will be like this. "

She Smiled.

"What? " He asks defensively.

"You like her. "

He rolled his eyes.

"To be honest, my chips were on the end of their relationship, but she stayed." He shrugs. Damian makes it look like an unlikely result in an equation. "Drake and Grayson won. I suppose I are well. I can do nothing but endure. "

Raven laughs.

"It's not funny." His tone is not angry, he doesn't turn that red warning tone and she knows that everything is fine.

She looks down at the book and takes a sip of her tea.

She looked at Damian, who continued writing in his notebook; The sun's rays bathed his face, his skin is tan, and his green eyes roam the notebook, concentrating on whatever he wants to capture.

She closes your eyes and feels the taste of herbs in the mouth.

She feels his shoulders collide with her, it's a warm and dangerous pressure. Each of her molecules asks for more, and she shouldn't be allowing this, but she doesn't pull away, nor does she stop her heart from running wild.

No one has heard from Robin in two months and the internet is focused on the following drama.

Damian Wayne allows himself to be photographed, but the paparazzi are not interested in selling photos of a scarf to the big gossip magazines, so they disappear little by little.

Raven left a relationship behind and hesitantly asks: What is it about him here?

It is at this moment that he realizes that, if she bleeds, he would be the last to know.

#damirae #fanfiction #damian x raven #damian wayne #raven #dc animated universe

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365daysofsasuhina · 4 years ago

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[ @sasuhinabigflash2020 || Day Fifteen: Turnip Soup ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Yamanaka Ino, Haruno Sakura ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: A Light Amongst Shadows ] [ AO3 Link ]

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For the first time in far too long, Hinata is having a girls’ day. And not just any girls’ day, but a potluck to boot!

With everyone’s busy schedules, getting a day to align to allow the four of them to meet up has been ridiculously difficult. Between Sakura’s haphazard shifts at the hospital to Ino’s work with the interrogation department to Tenten’s shop, coordinating has been a nightmare. Hinata, for her part, has tried to be flexible. Her work with Sasuke and the rest of the Hyūga to keep the civilians of Konoha safe hasn’t exactly been easy, but her new husband does his best to accommodate her.

So, finally, after weeks of near-misses, they have a day: Saturday. And Ino, with her connections to Konoha parks’ botanical group, managed to arrange a private spot in one of the village’s largest public gardens for the afternoon.

It’s going to be perfect!

And Hinata has gone all-out. Rising at the crack of done to have it finished in time, she’s made an old recipe of her mother’s: homemade turnip soup. Alongside from-scratch cinnamon buns, she’s sure to contribute to the miserable fullness they’ll all be feeling by the end of the day. She packs up bowls and utensils for her share, double checking she has everything she needs.

“Ready to go?”

Turning to Sasuke, she gives him a bright smile. “I think so! Sorry you can’t come…”

“It’s called a girls’ day for a reason. And I’m not sure I’d fit in, regardless.”

At that, Hinata pouts. “Of course you would. But...maybe you and the rest of the guys could have a day to get together…?”

Sasuke’s expression immediately sours. “Not sure I’d enjoy their idea of a ‘fun’ evening. Probably pigging out on greasy food and cheap beer.”

A giggle escapes her. “You’re probably right...still, I feel bad.”

“Trust me, I don’t feel slighted.” A hand threads fingers in her hair, resting against the rear of her head to steady her as lips gently press to her brow. “Go have fun.”

She beams softly. “Okay...I left you a portion of soup for supper, okay?”

“Thanks, Hinata.”

“Bye!” Giving a little wave, she packs up her things and heads out the door.

As per usual, the Konoha Summer has been hot. And today is no exception. Despite her demure style, Hinata has deemed a sundress necessary attire for the heat. White with a bit of lilac floral print, it’s still decent enough for her tastes. Reaching her knees with a medium neckline, the straps are several inches wide. Enough to keep cool, but not too much for her self-conscious self. Flat white sandals replace her typical on-duty boots. She even went so far as to paint her nails a soft lavender color.

And to top it all off, she’s got a wide-brimmed white hat to shade her face, accented with a purple ribbon.

...okay, maybe she put a lot of thought into this outfit, but...she wants to look nice! Especially since Ino always looks pretty...while Hinata’s not usually the dress-up sort, there’s a sort of unspoken sizing up whenever the four of them meet. Tenten pretends not to care with her tomboy attitude, but even she has her feminine moments alongside rough-and-tumble Sakura.

She just...wants to fit in, is all. Doesn’t matter how old they get, they’re still victims of their own vanities...some just more than others.

Pushing all those thoughts aside, Hinata brightens as she spots her friends. Sakura and Ino are already present, Tenten nowhere yet to be seen. “Hi guys!”

The pair turn and smile back. “Hinata-chan!” Ino greets jovially, waving her over. “Wow, you went all out, huh?”

“W-well, I...I really love to cook,” she explains sheepishly. “I brought soup a-and dessert!”

“I thought I smelled cinnamon,” Sakura agrees with a grin. “You’ve always made those!”

The pink in Hinata’s cheeks gets a little darker. “They’re...my favorite…”

“Well, I’m trying to watch my diet but I think I can cheat just one,” Ino replies, arms folding. “No one can pass up Hinata-chan’s baking.”

“Chyeah!” the rosette agrees.

“Any word from Tenten yet…?” Hinata then asks, setting her basket of goodies and wares on the table.

“Sadly she had to back out last minute,” Sakura sighs. “Apparently some important officer under the daimyō just sent in an order for a dress sword, and she needs to fill it as soon as possible.”

The Hyūga wilts a bit. “I see…”

“I swear, we’re just cursed to always have at least one person unable to come,” Ino sighs, taking a seat and draping one leg over the other.

“Someday we’ll manage it.” Taking out a large pitcher of premade tea, Sakura pours them all a glass. “We can put some of all our stuff together and take it to her place for her after, so she doesn’t miss out.”

“Oh, g-good idea!”

With that, the typical small talk begins as food is dished out: catching up on all the goings-on in their lives. Sakura moans about how busy the hospital remains. “The more hours the more pay of course, but it hardly leaves me any free time! I’m almost as bad as Naruto now with how little I’m home,” she pouts, leaning her chin in a hand.

“Well, at least neither of you are sitting there alone too often,” Ino replies, sipping her tea.

“Yeah, but I’d rather we both just have more time off.”

“You know, you both control your own schedules.”

“We’re both workaholics,” is Sakura’s sheepish admission. “Someday we’ll slow down a bit, but right now we’re in our primes!”

“I know what you mean,” Hinata offers politely. “Sasuke and I hardly ever take time off. Even with all of the Hyūga we have signed up for the community watch force, it seems we’re always needed somewhere.”

“Well, Sasuke’s the founder after all. Since Shisui’s working with the Hokage, he’s really the only Uchiha people can rely on themselves.” Ino tilts her head curiously. “And you might not be heiress by name, but your clan still has massive respect for you and your abilities. Of course they’d rely on you, too.”

At the compliment, Hinata’s head ducks demurely, blushing. “...I suppose so…”

“How’s Hanabi been holding up?”

“Well! She’s, well...she’s bored with her lessons, but she’s always been a bit...easily distracted,” Hinata laughs. “But she takes her role seriously. And I know she’s relying on Neji-nīsan for guidance.”

“Any lingering problems with him?”

“Thankfully no, he recovered very well.”

“Thank the gods for that,” Sakura sighs. “One hell of a risky procedure, but...well, we all know how stubborn she is.”

“...I’ll never be able to repay her,” is Hinata’s quiet reply.

“Not sure a debt is the point, though. Besides, the main thing is he’s okay. Now if only he’d get off his high horse and propose to poor Tenten already.”

“He wants to! It’s just, um...complicated. Clan traditions and all that.”

“But what about you and Sasuke?”

“That was mostly excused due to the alliance,” Hinata sighs. “There’s only two Uchiha left, but...he’s technically still clan heir, so my father convinced the council it was still proper. It took some convincing for him too, though.”

“Ugh, so glad I don’t deal with any clan nonsense,” Sakura mutters lowly, stirring the last dredges of her soup. “Seems like such a pain.”

“Depends on the clan,” Ino offers with a shrug. “None of my team, despite us all being heirs, were pushed into marriages into the clan.”

“The Hyūga are probably the most, um...antiquated clan in the village,” Hinata admits with a disappointed set of her lips. “I have to wonder what Hanabi will do when the time comes…”

“Oh I doubt anyone’s gonna tell her what to do, the little spitfire.”

“Probably not, but that will still cause q-quite the stir.”

“Your clan’s had lots of stirrings since the war. It’s good for them,” Ino quips, taking a bite of cinnamon bun. “I still can’t believe it took so long to abolish the houses…”

“Well, after Neji-nīsan’s actions, it couldn’t really be ignored anymore,” Hinata agrees quietly.

“Then your big role in the ousting of the rest of the old council. Now that was awesome.” A wide grin grows over Sakura’s face. “I’ll never forget that.”

“Indeed. I’m just glad Sasuke and his family got the closure they were denied for so long…” Hinata’s eyes drop to the table somberly. “It still b-breaks my heart to think about it.”

“...yeah…”

A muted silence falls over the group of them for a time.

“...well, I don’t know about you two, but I’m full of both food and gossip,” Ino then announces, leaning back with a satisfied sigh. “Amazing soup and buns, Hinata-chan.”

“T-thank you!”

“You’ll have to share the recipes!”

“You can’t cook to save your life, Dekorīn,” Ino laughs.

“That’s what practice is for, Ino-buta!”

Smiling sheepishly, Hinata waves a hand. “I-I’ll get you both copies.”

Tidying up after themselves (and putting together Tenten’s box, which Ino agrees to deliver), the trio stand and chat a little longer before parting ways. Evening is settling over the village, and Hinata sighs contentedly in the cooling air.

It was a nice day.

Arriving home, she calls out her arrival, Sasuke replying from inside.

“You’re early.”

“...am I?”

“I thought you’d be gone longer is all. Had your soup.”

“Oh! Was it good…?”

“Very. You’ll have to teach me.”

At that, Hinata gives a smile. “...I’d be happy to.”

Woo, some slice of life fluff! Not so much centered on Sasuke this time around, but Hinata can always use more love. As can her bonds with the other girls! Still bugs me how little we got to see them all interact in canon... Otherwise though, a simple little piece, nothing too special~ Another hot as heckie day so that’ll be all from me for now, but once the heatwave’s over I want to try to catch back up again lol On that note though, I’d best head off for the night. Thank you for reading!

#sasuhinabigflash2020 #shbf2020 #sasuhina #uchiha sasuke #hyūga hinata #yamanaka ino #haruno sakura #a light amongst shadows [ canon verse ]

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the--blackdahlia · 5 years ago

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It’s So Easy (And Other Lies) Chapter 16

Title: It’s So Easy (And Other Lies) Chapter 16

Summary: Stevie Adler likes Duff McKagan. She has for a while now, but she is convinced Duff doesn’t like her that way. Duff likes Stevie, but so does their new bandmate Axl Rose.

Chapter Warnings: Language, fluff, some big confessions

AN: Thank you for all the feedback!

Two Months Later

“Look at my little girl!” Deanna Adler said as she watched Stevie’s hair be done and the veil pinned into it. Stevie was looking in the mirror as the stylist pinned the flower crown veil into her blonde hair. It was Tommy’s suggestion that she do that, and honestly, she really liked it.

“Mom, stop,” Stevie laughed. She glanced over at Tommy, who was indeed getting his nails painted. Fingers and toes. “How you doing over there T-Bone?” Tommy had a big smile on his face as he looked over at the bride.

“I feel so pampered!” He laughed. “I like the color you chose Rocket Queen.”

“Rocket Queen?” Deanna asked, looking at her daughter with a raised eyebrow.

“Long story,” Stevie shook her head. “Do you think Duff’s gonna like it?” She looked over at her dress. It almost glowed in the sunlight coming in through the window.

“I think he’s going to like taking it off of you,” Tommy pointed out.

“Thomas!” Stevie shook her head. “Mom, ignore him. He’s an idiot.”

“But I’m your favorite idiot!” Tommy teased.

“Actually, I think her favorite idiot is Duff,” Deanna laughed.

“Mom! Not you too!” Stevie sighed.

“What? I joke around too,” Deanna shrugged. “God, you look so beautiful.” She smiled fondly at her daughter. “I had a feeling that McKagan boy was going to be your one the day you brought him to meet me. It was the 4th of July, wasn’t it?”

“Yes mom,” Stevie smiled. She looked over at Tommy, who has a questioning look on his face. “I brought him with us up to the observatory to watch the fireworks.”

“That’s so cute!” Tommy told her. “But how did you two meet? I don’t think you’ve ever told me this story.”

“Slash put an ad in the paper that we needed a bassist for our band Road Crew,” Stevie explained. “And he called and we agreed to meet at a restaurant. Because technically we weren’t old enough to get in the bars.”

“Not that that ever stopped you,” Deanna muttered. Stevie rolled her eyes.

“Anyway, Slash and I were waiting and thought he stood us up when this giant man walked in with a long coat and spiked, blue hair,” Stevie laughed. “I thought he was seven feet tall or something, because he was wearing those thick boots like you guys would wear. And he was so shy, but super sweet. We hit it off right away, and might have annoyed Slash with as much as we talked to each other. He moved in with Slash and I when were in a two bedroom hole, because he didn’t have anywhere else to stay, and eventually, we found a nice three bedroom. Well, nice by the strip standards.”

“Can’t be any worse than the place Nikki, Vince, and I shared,” Tommy told her. “That place had be be torn down by the time we were done with it.”

“Yeah it wasn’t quite that bad,” Stevie shook her head. “I might have snuck into a party there once.” Stevie winked at him.

“You did not?” Tommy laughed.

“She was, and still is, a wild child,” Deanna pointed out. Stevie shot a glare at her mom before turning her attention back to Tommy.

“Anyway, I think I fell in love with Duff at that 4th of July,” Stevie admitted. “And that year, he took me to Christmas at his house. And I barely had any money. And I made him this god awful braided bracelet that he won’t freaking take off.”

“He loves it,” Tommy pointed out. He had seen that bracelet. Duff never took it off for anything.

“Okay sweetie, I think you’re ready to get in your dress,” Deanna told her daughter. “Tommy, we’ll see you in a little while.”

“Oh, I don’t get to watch the Rocket Queen change?” Tommy asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Want me to get Nikki in here?” Stevie countered.

“No, I’ll behave,” Tommy sighed. Stevie smiled and followed her mom out the door.

“Seriously, why does he call you Rocket Queen?” Deanna asked.

“You really don’t want to know,” Stevie laughed. They headed to the main bridal room to get Stevie into her dress.

She had been unable to find one that she loved, so Vince and Mick pulled some strings to help her out. She had found a black dress she had liked, so they took the dress and her measurements to their wardrobe department at Elektra, and a few weeks later, a wet dress was delivered to the drummer. It was longer than the black one, which she had wanted, but it fit just as well as the black one had.

As Deanna helped zip her up, Stevie looked at herself in the mirror. She ran her hands over the dress.

“Do you think he’ll like it?” Stevie asked.

“Who? Duff?” Deanna asked. Stevie nodded. “Sweetie, he’s not marrying you for the dress. He’s marrying you because he loves you.”

“What if he realizes he doesn’t love me after he marries me?” She asked softly.

“Not every marriage turns out like Michael Coletti and mine,” Deanna told her. “When I look at you two, I know it’s going to last. You’re going to be Mrs. McKagan for a long, long time.” Stevie smiled some.

“I’ll still use Stevie Adler as the stage name,” Stevie told her. “Duff and I already talked about that.”

“See, you’re already communicating,” Deanna smiled at her daughter. “That’s a good start.”

****

“Dude, you’re getting married,” Slash laughed as him and Duff got their tuxes on. Izzy was already ready, sitting in a chair, watching as Axl got ready. “Even though, if you ask me, it’s just making it official, because you two have been married for years now.”

“I just can’t wait,” Duff had a smile on his face as he messed with his hair. “Do you guys think she’ll like the song?”

“You could burp her the alphabet and she’d love it,” Izzy pointed out. Duff and Slash both laughed. Nikki knocked on the door before coming in.

“What’s so funny?” Nikki asked. “Maybe the fact that you’re missing your bow tie?” Nikki held up the item and Duff looked in the mirror. Sure enough, he was missing his bow tie. “Should’ve had me be your best man. Slash is slacking.”

“I barely slept last night,” Slash shook his head. “I hung out with Stevie since Tommy’s her maid of honor.” Nikki shook his head and handed Duff his tie. “Speaking of that, I’m going to go check on her and see how she’s doing.” He slipped out as Vince and Mick came in, wanting to see how Duff looked all dressed up.

“Looking good man,” Vince laughed, not making eye contact with Izzy and Izzy was fine with it. They had gotten into a fight earlier in the year over something Vince’s wife had told Vince, and Izzy really didn’t want to bring it up again.

“I’ve never seen this many rock stars in tuxes before,” Mick shook his head with a chuckle. Vince walked over to Axl, who was finishing up getting ready.

“Always the bridesmaid, never the bride, right Rose?” He teased. Axl glared at him.

“I’m going to go grab a smoke before it starts,” He announced, walking out. Izzy sighed and turned to look out the window. Vince just shrugged.

“Must be in a mood or something,” Vince laughed. “He’ll miss out on the pre wedding shots.”

“Oh god, not that again,” Mick groaned. “I barely remember Tommy’s first marriage with the pre wedding shots.”

“We...did we do shots with Heather?” Vince looked at Nikki.

“No, I think he means that one he was married to for a month,” Nikki pointed out.

“Wait, what?” Vince asked. “You guys are pulling my leg, right?” Nikki and Mick just laughed, leaving Duff and Izzy to look at each other and shrug.

****

There was a knock on the door as Deanna and Stevie finished up getting ready. Stevie excepted it to be Tommy, trying to catch a peek of her in the nude, but when Deanna went to it, Slash was standing there.

“Is she decent?” Slash asked with a laugh, not that it really mattered if she wasn’t or not. Deanna smiled and opened the door for him to come in. Slash stopped when he saw Stevie. “Oh wow.”

“You’ve already seen me in it once,” Stevie laughed.

“Yeah but this is different,” He smiled at her, taking a step closer. He had been there when she got to try on the dress that the Motley boys had gotten for her. She looked beautiful then, she looked stunning now. “Duff’s gonna be speechless.”

“I’ll be right back,” Deanna told them, stepping out to go check on a few things. Stevie watched her leave and sighed some.

“Do you think he’ll really like it?” Stevie asked. She was so worried about what Duff was going to think when he saw her. She didn’t wear dresses often and she felt weird in it, which meant she probably looked weird too.

“If he doesn’t, I’m kicking his ass,” Slash laughed. He stood there, watching as she rechecked herself in the mirror again. “You know, you’re six months older than me, but I always saw you as my little sister.”

“Slash…” Stevie turned to look at her longtime friend.

“And I just want you to know that even though we’re not sharing a shoebox anymore, pulling our change to buy a couple cans of soup, you’ll always be my sister. And even when you’re living in Seattle, if you need me, I’ll be right there.”

“Slash, you’re gonna make my makeup run,” Stevie dabbed at her eyes. Slash pulled her to him and hugged her.

“Love you Stevie,” He told her.

“Love you too,” Stevie sniffled. Slash pulled back and smiled. Deanna came back then.

“Axl’s waiting out in the hallway for you,” Deanna reported with a smile on her face. “Izzy’s got the music ready to go.” They had decided that they wanted a small, intimate wedding. Her and Duff each had one person in their wedding party, and the only guests were Duff’s large family, Stevie’s mom, and Motley Crue. Stevie had told Duff that they always were performing for a crowd with Guns n’ Roses, that she didn’t want their wedding to feel like another concert. And he completely agreed with her. Axl was taking place of Stevie’s dad, and Izzy was in charge of the music. They had everyone that they wanted to be at the wedding there.

That being said, the reception was going to be at the Rainbow, and they had invited people to that party.

“Ready?” Slash asked Stevie. She smiled and nodded, making sure she had everything on.

“Very.” Slash smiled at her and held the door open for her and Deanna. Axl was waiting out in the hallway in a tux. He looked up as the three of them walked out.

“Hey Red,” Stevie laughed. “How do I look?”

“Amazing,” He told her, pushing off the wall to walk to her.

“I’ll see you out there sweetie,” Deanna told her daughter, kissing her cheek. Her and Slash headed towards the ceremony room, leaving Axl and Stevie in the hallway.

“You looked amazing,” Axl told her. “Duff’s a lucky guy.”

“You’re just saying that,” She laughed a little.

“Stevie, I…” Axl was going to confess it all to her. He was going to tell her he had been in love with her for awhile now. He was going to get it all off his chest before she walked down the aisle. But something stopped him. And that something was Tommy Lee.

“Hey dudes, it’s time,” He smiled. “You look good Rocket Queen!”

“Gee, thanks T-Bone,” Stevie laughed and shook her head. Tommy went bouncing down the hallway towards the hall. Stevie turned back to look at Axl. “What were you saying Red?”

“I was saying...let’s get you to your groom Popcorn.” He had recently started calling her Popcorn, since she bounced around like a piece of popcorn that was being cooked. He offered his arm to her, which she took.

“Think you can convince Tommy to start calling me that?” Stevie laughed. “He keeps calling me Rocket Queen.”

“I mean, you know that you and Duff aren’t exactly quiet, right?” Axl laughed a bit. Stevie was mortified. “Come on, your prince awaits you.”

Axl walked Stevie down the aisle. When Duff turned to see her, his breath was taken away. He had seen her in a dress before, but this was different. She looked stunning as she walked towards him. Izzy watched from where he was seated with the organ, his heart fluttering some.

“I told you that you could pull off a flower crown,” Duff finally whispered when Axl gave Stevie to Duff. Stevie smiled at him, blushing softly.

The ceremony was beautiful, a combination of Jewish and Catholic aspects to cover both their upbringing. Everyone in attendance cheered when Stevie and Duff said their “I Do’s” and finally kissed. Duff couldn’t stop the smile that was on his face as he looked at his wife, cupping her face gently.

“I love you so much,” He told her as they headed back down the aisle, hand in hand. Axl watched them with hurt in his eyes.

“I love you too Duff,” Stevie waved to everyone as they headed towards the car that was going to take them over to the Rainbow. Duff kissed her deeply as they climbed in. Duff was driving, Stevie in the passenger seat.

“Come on Mrs. McKagan,” Duff smirked. “We have a party waiting for us.”

****

The Rainbow was full of excitement as the reception got started. There was music and food. A table was covered with presents from the various musicians, family, and friends who had been invited. Stevie and Duff danced together while everyone watched.

“You look so beautiful,” Duff told her as they moved around the dance floor. “But, I can’t wait until later. Because I think that dress will look amazing on our bedroom floor.”

“Oh, you think so?” She asked, looking up into his eyes. Duff smirked.

“I know so,” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips.

While Stevie and Duff were dancing, Izzy took a deep breath and made his way over to Axl, who was sitting at a table, sipping a drink. Izzy stood at the table, clearing his throat, causing Axl to look up at him.

“What’s up?” Axl asked, trying to look anywhere but at the dance floor.

“Can we talk in private?” Izzy asked, shifting from one foot to the other. Axl risked a glance at Duff and Stevie before he nodded and followed the guitarist out of the man room into a hallway. Izzy was visibly nervous, and Axl could just stare.

“So, what is it?” Axl asked. Izzy took a deep breath.

“I know you’re upset about today,” Izzy told him.

“Oh, c’mon Iz. I’m fine,” Axl shook his head.

“I know you’re just saying that Axl,” Izzy was getting more nervous.

“Okay, well what were you going to say?” Axl asked. “Just spit it out already.”

“I’m in love with you,” Izzy said bluntly. Axl laughed a bit.

“I know man. I love you too. You're like my brother.”

“No, I mean...I love you,” Izzy watched Axl’s face as he registered what was being said. Izzy took a step back, just in case Axl’s knee jerk reaction was to punch him.

“I...what?” Axl asked. “I mean, we’re both straight and…” Izzy shook his head. “Come on man, I’ve known you since we were kids. You’re straight.”

“No I’m not,” Izzy told him. “We grew up in fucking Republican country. A gay kid in the 70’s? I would’ve got the shit beat out of mean and strung up in downtown Lafayette.”

“What do you want me to do with this?” Axl asked.

“I...nothing.” Izzy shook his head. “I don’t know why I said anything.” He ducked back into the party, leaving Axl standing there, wondering what the hell just happened. It took him a moment to cipher through everything. Izzy was gay? And he liked Axl? He shook his head and headed back into the party, where the dance was coming to an end. He didn’t see Izzy anywhere, and maybe that was a good thing.

After the dance, they cut the cake. Everyone had food and drinks, and there was dancing going on. Stevie made her rounds, talking and laughing with people, when Nikki came up to her.

“Sorry guys, I’ve gotta steal the bride,” Nikki told the people she was talking to. Stevie frowned as he led her back towards the stage area.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Someone has a gift for you,” He told her, leading her to a chair centered in the middle of the cleared out dance floor. Stevie was confused as she sat down. Then she looked up at the stage and saw Duff, Izzy, and Slash standing there with acoustic guitars in hand. Axl stood in the back of the room, watching Izzy at a distance.

“Hey babe,” Duff smiled at Stevie. “I wanted to give this to you. We’ve been working on it for a bit and well, I hope it explains it all.” He nodded at Izzy and Slash. They started to strum their guitars as Duff stood in front of the mic.

♪You're my flower, you're my road

That I try to stay up on

Even when things, they go wrong

You stay there with me

You don't stay for what I do

The sleepless nights I drug you through

When I say things I don't mean to

You stay there with me

You uncovered this outlaw soul

You should've gone, baby, long ago

But you shined a light where it was dark

On my wasted heart

When I flew, you pulled me down

When I crashed, you were the ground

Where my bones are scattered all around

You stayed with me

You uncovered this outlaw soul

You should've gone, baby, long ago

But you shined a light where it was dark

On this wasted heart

My wasted heart needed healing

And you saved it for me

I've got a new start, rest your eyes

In time, these days will say what I never could

You stayed with me

You uncovered this outlaw soul

Should've gone, baby, long ago

But you shined a light where it was dark

Oh, you uncovered this outlaw soul

Should've gone, baby, long ago

But you shined a light where it was dark

On this wasted heart♫

“Duff,” Stevie whispered, tears streaming down her face. Duff sat the guitar down and jumped off the stage, going to her and holding her close to him. “That was beautiful.”

“It’s everything I’ve wanted to say to you for years,” He told her, brushing a tear off her face. “Bet your glad you went with the waterproof mascara, aren’t you?” He laughed a little bit.

“You just think you’re so funny, don’t you?” Stevie smiled up at him.

“I know I’m funny,” He leaned down and kissed her, the whole party cheering. Izzy put his guitar down and got off the stage as Stevie and Duff went off to socialize. He was half tempted to leave, when someone grabbed his shoulder.

“Stradlin,” Vince growled. “We need to fucking talk without your bodyguard around.”

“Vince…” Izzy turned to look at the blond. “I didn’t hit Sharise man. I didn’t even talk to her outside of saying hi. Just leave me alone.” He went to leave but Vince pulled him back.

“And why the hell should I believe you?” Vince asked.

“Because Sharise is a woman,” Izzy told him. “And I’m gay.” Vince's eyes widened and he let go of Izzy. “So if you’re gonna hit me, you might want to go talk to Axl. Because I think he wants to hit me too.”

“No, I don’t want to hit you,” Vince’s voice was soft and understanding. “Does anyone else know?”

“I, uh, Stevie and Duff know,” Izzy nodded. “Stevie was the first person I told, and she helped me tell Duff. I’m sure Slash and Dizzy know. I just told Axl and...he didn’t take it well.”

“Fucking hell,” Vince shook his head. “Why the fuck did you let me hit you at the awards show? Why didn’t you tell me then?”

“I wasn’t ready to come out in front of all of MTV’s cameras,” Izzy told Vince. “It might be the 90’s, but a lot of people are still stuck in the fucking 50’s. I already hate myself enough as it is for not just being fucking normal.”

“Hey! No. You don’t hate yourself for this. You can’t control this,” Vince grabbed his arms so Izzy was turned to look him in the eye. “You can hate yourself after a night of heavy drinking, or eating way too many chili dogs. Hell, you can hate yourself for your fashion choices. But you never, ever, hate yourself for this.”

“Vince…”

“No. I know what you’re going through, okay? If anyone says shit to you, you tell me and I’ll have two six-foot children and a literal demon there in a heartbeat. Do you understand?”

“Yeah…” Izzy nodded. “I’m gonna head out though. I’m still afraid Axl’s gonna hit me. I want to give him some time to calm down.” Vince let go of him and nodded.

“Call if you need anything. And I mean anything,” Vince told the guitarist. Izzy nodded and took his leave then.

“Hey, you seen Izzy?” Slash asked. “Stevie wanted to dance with him.”

“He...he had a headache. I told him to go home and relax,” Vince told Slash.

“Oh, I hope he’s okay,” Slash turned to go let Stevie know. Vince sighed.

“You and me both kid,” Vince headed over to a group of people to grab a drink and mingle.

Soon, the reception was over and the honeymoon could begin. The McKagan’s were going to Hawaii for a couple weeks, just the two of them. Princess Peach was going to be staying with Slash and his snakes, but Slash promised Tommy he could take the dog whenever he wanted.

Duff kept an arm wrapped around Stevie as they waited to board their plane hours after the party was over. He kept placing kisses on her whenever he could, making her laugh.

“Duff, why do you keep doing that?” She laughed.

“I want to get a million kisses in with my wife,” He told her. “And I’m never going to get tired of saying that.” He laughed. Stevie just kept smiling.

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk @tommyleeownsme @marvelismylifffe @mrslogansixxpixx

Guns n Roses Tags: @duffshairdye @slashscowboyboots @hauntedapricoteggsclam @bitter-13-suite @arianareirg @lucyboytom @ozzy-dumbass-of-darkness

It’s So Easy Tags: @str4nge-haze @viralwolf02

#it's so easy and other lies #duff mckagan #steven adler #duff mckagan x steven adler #guns n roses #fanfiction

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dontdietwd · 4 years ago

Text

Day 178

Twenty-eight weeks pregnant. Almost five months since the world ended. Thirty-seven days since we lost the house. Three and a half months without the group. Without Daryl.

It was not all bad. We had good moments. Each one had kept their own car and we could carry a lot of things with us, things that made us safe and comfortable. We had weapons, food, water, and we got good in finding shelter. Basements were our spot of choice and we could stay in a place for about a week until all resources from said place were gone or if we were overrun. Our little four-way group, just like it had been when it was just Michonne, Andrea and I, worked great together. The three of them kept on looking at me for the most important decisions, but most part of time we all thought like one, sometimes we didn’t even need to speak.

Merle was… Adapting. And incredibly more capable of adapting I would have ever thought he was. Not being on drugs or even drinking anymore had changed him. Well, of course, he was still Merle. Hot headed, foul mouthed, surely an asshole. On the first few days he came on to Andrea and Michonne like a thirsty man at the sight of water, but was slowly letting it go, respecting them more. But one thing he did from the first day on the road as protect. Merle was like our body guard, not that we needed it too much since the three of us were more than capable of fighting, but he took upon himself that this was his role, he would protect and defend us. This I had always known about Merle. Even when he was a bad person, he’d always had my back, had always protected me. The man was loyal to a fault. It was a Dixon thing. I would never forget how at the simple sight of me Merle had turned his back to the bandits he’d been working for, given up on a big, thriving community with all the comforts that came with it, and walked away with us to live the perils of homelessness in the apocalypse, all to be near me again. Not that I understood it completely. I didn’t really know why he was such a loyal friend to me. Not that I was complaining, of course. Having him around was good, he was even able to make me laugh and was showing the good parts of his personality.

He also made me feel somehow closer to Daryl and, incredibly, made me keep the positivity that one day we’d find him. My hopes went down many, many times, to the point I could give up and just accept Daryl was in the past, but Merle would have it. He was certain we’d still find him, just like he’d been certain he would one day find me and his brother. Merle had always though he’d find us together, at the same time, and not separately, but still. He believed it for real and made me keep faith as well.

That day we had been driven away from the bank we’d been holed up in for nearly a week by a small heard and the fact that the place was stinking so bad it was getting hard to breathe in, so we were on the road again. We had taken to drive only two cars and tow the others with ropes as a form of saving gas but still having all the cars.

It was a dirt side road, much like where our previous house had been, and there was an untrimmed, overgrown long hedge that went on for like fifty or sixty yards until there was a wide opening at a corner. I slowed down to a stop, looking at it. Seconds later, Andrea stopped her car by our side and I could see she and Michonne were also observing the same thing I was.

“What ya think’s inside?” Merle asked by my side.

“Let’s find out,” and I moved with the car again until we parked in front of the opening.

Inside we could see it was a paved street that elongated into the area, trees all around it and two or three houses barely visible, one of them pretty close to the opening. It was very quiet. The four of us came out of the cars, all thinking the same. We would do the same thing we’d been doing for so long: check, clear, loot, and if it was good, stay for as long it was possible.

It was a huge square shaped area, streets on two sides with the gateless opening right on the corner, and dense woods on the other two sides. It took us a while to round it all and make sure it was all closed – it wasn’t, really, there was a small metal fence gate on the back that led to the woods, weed overgrown nearly covering it all, rusted and locked tight. Getting back to the opening, we slowly and silently made our way in.

Before we could reach the first house, though – it was a mobile home styled house, we could see now, walkers came out of the trees and from around the house itself. Many of them. Refusing to shoot because of the noise, we dealt with over a ten of them before getting to the minuscule house porch. More were coming when Merle busted the door opened, no time to check for sound or look through the windows this time, and we entered. There were two more inside, which Andrea and Michonne killed off as Merle and I dragged a couch to secure the door with its ruined lock. Walkers outside tried to get in, loud groans and nails scratching the wooden door.

Still silently, we checked the house and found it was clear. It was a tiny one-bedroom trailer, fully furnished, with just the one door as a way in. I was already opening the kitchen cabinets trying to find anything useful and it was all there, like someone had been living there before the world ended and left without packing anything. There were bags of chips and pasta and cans of soup, meat and sauces. In the bedroom Andrea found a dresser filled with men’s clothes.

Merle was already sitting on the couch, groaning at his aching legs, when we all gathered there, the walkers outside still trying to get to us. Right by the door there was a table and booth and a window above it. Sliding into the booth and taking my knife out, I opened at the window a crack and hit the knife there on the windowsill to get their attention off the door. Using the crack, I started stabbing their heads, making them drop one by one. Michonne quietly approached and gestured me to let her do it after around ten minutes I’d been doing it, and kept on going. The number of walkers increased, their own kind attracting the attention of others, and then dropped again until no more were heard around the house. Outside, there was a pile of dead, fetid corpses.

“Let’s get the cars in,” I told them, the first word I’d spoken in hours.

We had to skip over the walkers’ bodies to get out of the trailer and then went back outside to get the cars. The noise of the engines attracted more of them.

“Son of a bitch, motherfuckers just keep comin’!”

“We’ll do the same again,” I said from his side in the car. “Go further, to the next house.”

The second house was a little larger than the first, and it looked a bit more well taken care of. The owner was still inside, a chubby little old lady who might have been a cute grandma once. It was not hard putting her down. This house was a two-bedroom, cozy little home with flowery curtains on the kitchen window and what had been daisies now dry in a vase.

Right across the street there was the largest of the three houses, painted in olive with white windows and a more spacious porch. This house was the next one we’d go in, but it was probably going to be the last one because it was going to get dark soon. We crossed the street on a quick run and tested the door before busting it open and found it unlocked. Al usual, Merle went in first and froze right there, the three of us hovering around his shoulders.

“Move Merle!” Michonne told him as we eyed the walkers that were coming close to our backs.

Instead, Merle put his arms up, his knifed stump in the air as he said, “No need to shoot, man.”

Fuck.

Looking around him, I saw there was a man inside, a .12 shotgun pointed right at Merle’s chest.

“Incoming!” Andrea warned us and I had to turn away from the living man threat to deal with the dead ones. Still under the man’s aim, Merle didn’t move to help us, but he did step away from the threshold and back onto the porch. We were lucky there weren’t many of them on this tide. Finishing the last one, I ran back to Merle and rounded him as I dropped my bush axe and stood in front of him.

“Fuck you doin’?” Merle reacted.

“Hey, we mean no harm!” I told the man who looked from Merle to me. He looked like he was trying to be firm but his eyes betrayed him. He was scared as hell. “We’re just looking for a safe place, same as everyone else! We’ll just go,” and I nudged Merle with my back to his chest to make him take a step back, which he did.

“Will?”

Okay, what? It was a female voice, weak and sounding real old, coming from the inside of the house. The man, Will, turned his head nervously to look at the direction it came from and them back at us.

“D’you have company, dear?” she spoke again.

“No, Ma!” Will said nervously. “Was just someone at the wrong house. They’ll be goin’ away now!”

“Oh, okay. I just made lemonade, if they want some!”

“Go!” Will ordered.

“You got a group?” I asked him.

“Sam, let’s just go!” Michonne whispered from behind me.

“No group, but this is our house and you’re not welcome!”

“It’s just you in this place?”

“That I know of.”

“We ain’t a threat, Will,” I told him, trying to sound calm, my hands still in the air. “Were just looking for a safe place. We might stay in one of the other houses for the night, if you don’t mind.”

“How can I be sure you ain’t a threat?” he asked and his voice shook a little.

“You got an elder here, man,” Merle answered instead of me. “Wouldn’t harm an old lady.”

His shotgun went down just a little as he said, “Just stay away from my house!”

“We will!” I assured him and told the others over my shoulder, “Go on guys, let’s go back across the street.”

Behind me I felt them move backwards, Merle’s chest not touching my back now, and I saw as Will licked his dry lips nervously.

“You got any food?” he asked.

“Not much, but I can spare you some if you’re hungry,” I told him. “But only if you stop pointing that gun on us.”

He looked to his side into the house again and back at us nervously before doing so. We were still outside.

“She’s 97,” he told us. “She ain’t got a clue what’s happenin’.”

“I understand, Will. My name is Sam, this is Merle,” he looked at Merle who was hovering over my shoulders. “Andrea and Michonne. We really don’t mean any harm, okay?”

He nodded nervously, swallowing hard.

“She didn’t really make a lemonade, ya know.”

“Thought so,” I tried smiling at him, but my heart was still accelerated. “It’s just the two of you?”

“No, my sister’s out there, went looking for food. We wanted to go in the other houses but there’s always dead people inside. Can’t get bit and leave Ma alone.”

“Okay, just make sure your sister doesn’t shoot us when she comes back home?” I asked him and he nodded. “We’ll get you some cans, alright?”

“Ya sure ‘bout that, darlin’?” Merle asked me. “Man just had a fuckin’ shotgun pointed at my chest a minute ago.”

“Yeah, and we tried to break into his house. You’d do the same.”

“Ya sure ya can spare?” Will asked and eyed my stomach. “I see ya need it.”

“Wouldn’t give it away if we couldn’t spare it.”

I did give him some, we’d found a good amount in the first house and had all that we’d been carrying with us in the cars. We were good. We didn’t get to see his old mother then, we just went back to the house across the street and stayed there. Sun went down and we arranged a quick dinner – there was still gas in the gas canister outside, so we could warm the food up and boil the water that came out of the faucet. It was a clear water but you never know. After eating we make sleeping and lookout arrangements.

Merle wouldn’t take his eyes off the window and the house across the street. We could see the light of oil lamps in there and shadows inside. Once I could see three of them, which meant the sister had come back without us seeing it. Maybe the house had a back door. They didn’t get out or did anything else, though, but I could see Merle was worried and if I knew him well, he wouldn’t be leaving that window any time soon.

The house went silent and we lit a few candles to be able to see anything. I stood by Merle, looking out as well. There were crickets and cicadas singing outside and it reminded me of the quarry camp, the tents, and Daryl. As if on cue, the baby moved and I rested my hand on my stomach and I saw Merle look down at it quickly before looking out again.

I thought of when we were on the road and stopped at a gas station, right after we left Savannah. Daryl and Merle were bickering and I heard Merle tell Daryl not to hit on me and I hadn’t wanted to hear it that time, but now thinking of it I knew Merle didn’t approve the idea then. That’s why I hadn’t told him yet. He’d get mad at Daryl for doing what he told him not to do. For some reason… But I wanted to tell him, he deserved to know, especially if we were gonna find Daryl sometime in the future. I didn’t want it to be a surprise to Merle when I jumped on Daryl right in front of him.

“Hey,” I said quietly and Merle looked at me. I pointed at my stomach where my boy was moving quite energetically. Merle didn’t understand, so I reached out for his hand and pulled it so he’d feel it. His eyes went wide when the baby jumped under his palm. He’d never felt it before. “This baby? That’s your nephew,” I whispered. “Daryl may not have made it, but he wanted it. And I wanted it to be his too, so it is. That’s your nephew.”

His look was unreadable, expressionless, but his large, calloused hand still rested there. The baby stopped after a few seconds and I let his hand go and he withdrew it, but still looked at me.

“I know you told him not to,” I moved on. “But we did get together. For a whole four days before that fuckin’ night. And it was real. It was that real thing people talk about and I never believed I’d find.”

Merle looked out the window again, thoughtful. “Thought so,” he told me. “The way you talk ‘bout ‘im…”

“I love him, Merle,” I told him firmly yet gently.

He nodded and was silent for a long moment until he finally said “Told him not to come onto ya.”

“I know. Just don’t know why.”

“’Cause we Dixon’s no good,” he said bitterly ad looked sideways at me. “Known that my whole life. Thought ya could do better.”

“That’s not true, Merle. Fuck do you mean, no good? You two have been rocks in my life since that fuckin’ night at my place. Having my back, protecting me, being my friends, my family. Even before when you were a sonofabitch all the time, you were my friend.”

“Even when I tried to get you ta drink?”

His voice was so bitter when he said that, that I knew he’d been thinking about that night. He felt guilty, ashamed for what he’d done. And he should, it had been a shitty move.

“You did wrong then, Merle, but ya different now. A sober Merle’s a whole different person. I guess you just didn’t know that ‘cause you’d been drunk and stoned for too long.”

“Got told that ma whole fuckin’ life,” his voice sounded like a low thunder. “Old Will Dixon?” he said taking an unconscious look at the house across the street where the other Will lived. “Always sayin’ we were just like’im.”

“Yeah, I know all about the old Dixon,” I said angrily. “What he did to Daryl… And to you, getting you two to believe you were pieces ‘o shit like he was. He just wanted his boys not to be better than him and you both believed it. You even kept telling Daryl those things yourself, ‘cause you believed‘em,” and then I turned fully to Merle, arms crossed. “Well, ya know what? Old Dixon had no fuckin’ idea what he was on about. He didn’t know his sons the way I do now. Ya good enough, Merle. You good enough to be my family and Daryl’s good enough to be my man.”

I don’t think nobody had ever said good things to Merle before. I don’t think anybody had had his back. Nobody had been kind to him and that’s why he got fucked up like he still was, believed himself a piece of shit and therefore acted like it.

He was silent for a long time and I let the moment stretch. He was thinking hard.

“We had a sister, ya know?” he finally said.

“I know. Georgia.”

He nodded, “Meningitis,” he told me. “She was seven, just one year older than Daryl, I was fifteen. Ya reminded me o’ her,” I nodded, wordless. He’d called me Georgia up on the roof in Atlanta. “If that baby there’s my nephew…” he looked at me. “That means ya my sister.”

My eyes filled up with tears. That was it, this was my brother. I had a family. I had two sisters who were sleeping right now, and now I had a brother as well.

“Not that ya takin’ Georgia’s place,” Merle felt the need to say. “No replacing that little angel.”

I laughed tearfully, “I know that. And ya know, you my brother, Merle, but Daryl?” I shook my head slowly. “Daryl ain’t my brother!”

He laughed too saying “Don’t make this gross!”

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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years ago

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Have you ever tried a colorful macaroon? Yeah. Do you say macaroon or macaron? There’s macaroons and there’s macarons. Do you know what a macaroon is? Yes. Would you rather go to Paris or London? I’d love to go to both. Which national flag do you like the best? I like the American flag. Name 3 celebrities people say you look like. I don’t look like any celebrities.

^Do you agree? Do you know anyone who looks like Taylor Swift? No. Have you ever been betrayed by a best friend? Yes. What color is the sweatshirt that you wear the most? All my sweatshirts are black. Do you have a mirror in your room? Yeah. What was the last thing you painted? I have no idea. Do you correct grammatical errors online? Just in my mind. What’s the last thing you made out of clay? I have no idea. Do you go for days without washing your hair? I go a few days. When is the last time you had scrambled eggs and bacon? I don’t like bacon, but I had scrambled eggs this morning. Do you like bacon bits on your salad? No. What is your favorite salad dressing? Ranch. What is your favorite kind of soup? I only like Ramen. Do you eat a lot of soup? I eat Ramen every night for the most part. Do you collect Mason jars to use for crafts? No. What’s a trend that you never caught on to? There’s many. What’s a trend that you haven’t caught on to yet, but you want to? I don’t even know what’s trendy. Plus, I don’t do things just cause they’re trendy, I have to actually like it. Do you type fast? Yeah. Did you learn to type through a computer program for kids? I think I did have a couple games, and I took a typing class in high school, but mostly it came from several years of experience. How many years were you homeschooled? I was never homeschooled. However, there were times I had to miss school because I had to have surgery and the recovery time was months, so I had to do independent study during that time. When it happened in 6th grade, my teacher actually came to my house for like an hour and helped me with my math or whatever. When it happened in 8th grade I had to spend months in the hospital, but thankfully there was classroom setup there with supplies and tutors. I had to have my homework sent over to me there. If applicable, what’s a youtuber you would love to collab with? I don’t make YouTube videos. Do you think you’re successful in life? HA. What color is the tree outside your window? Green. What color is your rug, if you have one? (not carpet, rug) I don’t have one in my room. What do you take for pain? I have a prescription pain med. Which pharmacy do you use? CVS. Do you reapply nail polish when it starts to chip? I usually left it all chipped and gross for awhile to be honest cause I was lazy. Or I just peeled it off. What is this month’s calendar picture? I don’t have a calendar. What was the last thing you ate? I’m about to eat some Ramen. What are your favorite things to put in tea? A packet of sugar. Do you wish the Unicorn Frappuccino was a regular drink at Starbucks? I didn’t try it when it was a thing. Is there a coffee shop in your town that’s better than Starbucks? Probably, but I just go to Starbucks cause it’s convenient. I do actually like it, but there’s a Starbucks close by me and pretty everywhere and they have drive-thrus, so it’s also like I said very convenient. What’s your favorite Lisa Frank character? I don’t think I had a particular favorite, I just liked all things Lisa Frank. Which Disney character looks the most like you? I don’t look like any of them. Did you go to Disney World or Disneyland as a kid? Yes, Disneyland. Do you live with a demon? My mental illnesses feel like one because they’ve taken over my life I feel like and I feel I have no control. Who was the last person to harass you? No one has harassed me. Who has the best personality on youtube? There’s several people I’m subscribed to that all seem really nice and cool. What are some of your goals for this year? I didn’t set any and the year is almost over now anyway. Does it feel like spring yet? It’s finally starting to feel like fall and I love it. What do you do to celebrate Earth Day? I don’t do anything. I mean, we recycle, but we do that year round. I don’t do anything special on that particular day. How do you celebrate Easter? We have a nice dinner. Have you ridden your bike yet this year? I don’t ride bikes. What does your bike look like? What is your favorite place that you’ve lived? I haven’t really liked where I live in terms of the city. Do you shop at Aeropostale? I used to. What’s the last thing you wore from Aeropostale? I used to like their hoodies the most. Have you ever been to a church that just wanted your money? No. Who is someone you are struggling to forgive, if applicable? Myself. Have you ever had someone try to intentionally bully you to suicide? No. No one else has bullied me, I’m my own bully. What’s your favorite type of cereal? Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Life, Fruity Pebbles, Cap’n Crunch Berries, Honey Nut Cheerios, Frosted Cheerios, Frosted Flakes... Who are your favorite kids that you’ve babysat? I only ever babysat my younger brother and a couple of my younger cousins. Who is your favorite cousin? I was always close to a few of my cousins, but over the past 4 years I became very distant and withdrawn from everyone, friends and family. :( Does one side of your family live in another state? Majority of my family lives in the same city as me, or less than an hour away. My paternal grandparents and one of my uncles live in different states. What states did your parents grow up in? My mom lived here all her life. My lived on the east coast for awhile, then here in California for awhile (different city), and then back east until he was in his 20s and moved here. Do you want kids? If yes, how many? No. What’s a craft that you’ve seen online that you don’t think will work? I’m not crafty, so none of them would come out like they should if I attempted them. What, if anything, are you severely allergic to? Not severely allergic, but I am allergic to tangerines. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to an insect? That’s what bug bites are. How do you react to bee stings? I’ve never been stung, thankfully. Is there a good hospital where you live? Yeah. What’s your favorite kind of tea to drink in the spring? I don’t have one. I’m not a big tea drinker, but now and then I’ll have a cup of peppermint or Chamomile tea. What are your favorite biblical names for girls? I have a few. …for boys? ^^^ What color nail polish do you usually wear in the spring? I haven’t worn nail polish at all in like 3 years. What’s your favorite color that you’ve dyed your hair? Red, definitely. Do you ever eat ice cream in the winter? I have before. How often do you wash your sheets? Every couple weeks. What was the name of the biggest bully in your high school? High school wasn’t like how it was portrayed in every high school movie. At least not for me. There wasn’t the one school bully that went around pushing people into their lockers and there wasn’t the one popular group like Mean Girls or something. Not to say there weren’t bullies or popular kids, but it wasn’t how it was in movies. ^Did everyone hate her/him? ^Were you his/her target?

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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eldritchsurveys · 5 years ago

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438.

When was the last time you got your nails done? >> I was, like, seventeen. What color is your cell phone? >> Black. Do you love the last person you text? >> I guess? I’m much less indifferent towards them than I am to the rest of the world. Is it windy outside? >> No. Do you walk home from school or get a ride? >> ---

When’s the last time you took a bus somewhere? >> Friday. When’s the last time you went to a library? >> About a week, week and a half ago? Have you thought about what colleges you may want to attend? >> No. Do you think road kill is gross? >> A bit, I guess, if it’s splattered everywhere. Mostly I’m indifferent to it. Is it obvious when people hurt your feelings? >> Obvious to whom? Me? I guess. Others? Not necessarily. Do you listen to country music? >> Yeah. Have you ever walked away from someone and they didn’t come after you? >> Probably. How many teeth do you have? >> The normal amount minus one. Have you ever lived outside of America? >> No. Have you ever watched someone die? >> No, and I’m interested in what that would be like. Do you get allowance? >> No. Do you pop your pimples? >> No. Who did you last dance with? >> Can Calah. Have you ever had a full body cast? >> No, and that sounds like a literal worst nightmare. Do you own any Domo-kun related things? >> No. What’s the last kind of soup you had? >> I don’t remember. Are your toes painted? >> No. Do piercings make people look ugly? >> Not as a rule. What flavor tea do you like? >> Jasmine green, peppermint, ginger, hibiscus, vanilla chai, etc. When was the last time you had hot chocolate? >> I was definitely a child. What do you think about age? >> I really have no thoughts about age. I find the entire concept to be inscrutable and I don’t have any use for it except in the specific social situations where it matters. What was the reason for your last smile? >> I don’t remember. Are you naked? >> No. Have you ever wanted to kill someone? >> Yeah. What color underwear are you wearing? >> Royal blue. Have you ever had braces? >> No. What is your absolute favorite animal? >> *shrug* What color doesn’t look good on you? >> I don’t know, I never thought about it. Where is your next vacation going to be? >> New Orleans. If you could own an island, what would you call it? >> --- When you get married, do you want to keep your last name? >> I will be keeping my last name. It was hard-won. Have you faced any of your fears lately? >> I don’t really have any to face. The only way to really face being afraid of a bad death is to... have one? Also, it’s not debilitating enough of a fear for me to feel like I have to “defeat” it or anything. It’s a perfectly logical thing for me to want to avoid. Have you ever kissed under water? >> No. Who was the last person to come over to your house? >> --- Do you shave your pubic hair? >> I trim it. Have you ever seen a tornado in real life? >> No. Who did you last snuggle up against? >> King Crimson. Who was the last person to comfort you as you cried? >> Can Calah. Do a lot of people have your name? >> Not at all. How many letters are in your last name? >> Eight. Do you have to plug your nose while swimming under water? >> --- Do you ever hear strange noises at night? >> No. Can you rap? >> I can rap along to rap songs I know the lyrics to. I can’t freestyle. Is there a restaurant that you want to go out of buisness? >> No. Have you ever been so hungry you felt like you were going to throw up? >> Yep. Have you ever choked on your own spit? >> Yep. Are you a heart breaker? >> I don’t know. Who do you want to kiss? >> --- How do you feel about grass? >> It’s pretty nifty. Are you itchy? >> No. My scalp was itching like mad earlier, but it’s calmed down. Hopefully the tea tree oil helped. I think it was just dry. Are you afraid of any insects? >> Not as a rule. I might be situationally afraid of an insect that looks like it’s trying to sting me, though. How many cousins do you have? >> --- Do you like chocolate cake? >> No. What is your favorite kind of pie? >> Apple or sweet potato. Do you like soft or hard pillows? >> Firm with a little give. When’s the last time you looked at your latest yearbook? >> --- Do you live on a farm? >> No. What’s the last thing your parents bought you? >> --- When was the last time you did laundry? >> Yesterday. Do you like playing poker? >> I don’t play it. Are you feeling cuddly? >> No. Do you like carrots better when they are cooked? >> I like them roasted. The flavour really comes out, and they’re the perfect texture that way. Do you have any cartoon theme songs stuck in your head? >> No. Do you know anyone who commited suicide? >> No. Have you lost any close family member to cancer? >> No. Is it ever too late to apologize? >> Sure. Do your computer speakers work? >> Yeah. Which friend are you most similar to? >> --- When was the last time you cried out in pain? >> I don’t remember. What do you say when you answer the phone? >> Hello.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years ago

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Survey #210

“made of flame, made of mud, i’m the many, i’m the one.”

Did your parents live in a different country before you were born? No. Do you have a preferred coffee brand? No. What’s something you’ve experienced that very few others have? Your favorite human on Planet Earth/God Himself noticing you. :') Three days I couldn't sleep. Three. Days. Do you have to wear an identification badge at your job? I don't have a job, yet. Have you ever dated someone who was terrible with money? No. If so, how did it affect the relationship? N/A How often do you paint your nails? Never. Do you know anyone who’s related to a current or former world leader? I'm related to Queen Victoria somehow. Idk about anyone else. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? No job, no taxes yet. What is something you don’t have any natural talent for? Mathematics. Has anyone ever told you that you get too competitive over minor things? No. Do you usually befriend your coworkers, or do you prefer to keep work separate from your personal life? N/A What was the very first thing you ever saved up to buy with your own money? I think Venus. Describe your favorite Christmas ornament. Man, I have a lot. We've accumulated A LOT over the years between me and all my siblings. Mom gets each of us one every year, and she's also kept all the ones we've made throughout school. She's so cute y'all. There is this REALLY damn pretty swirling crystal one with an angel on the top of it I got from my grandmother, that's definitely one of my faves, I've always loved this lil gingerbread dude I made in pre-k, and... idk man, there are truly a lot. What is something you frequently forget? To turn the laundry room light off anytime I go in there at night for Roman's litter scooper or to bring dirty clothes in there. By this point it's like a joke in the house with how much I do it for whatever reason. How do you feel about your body? I hate it. Who is someone you would like to get to know better? Connie, but I respect her privacy. I know you have to be careful online. What’s your opinion on assisted suicide? For it. At what point do you consider a relationship to be ‘long-term?’ Hm, idk, really. A year? What jobs did your parents have when you were growing up? Mom worked with special ed kids at school, she had a job at the hospital doing computer work I can't remember because I was so young, Dad's been a mailman all my life, but he also worked at Lowe's as a carpenter I think for a while. Do they still have these jobs? Or different jobs? Or have they retired? Mom's got a totally different job, and I already mentioned Dad being a mailman. Do you have any recurring dreams? Themes, yes; dreams, no. Have you ever had to call 911? Why? Yes; Mom and I thought she was having a heart attack. Terrifuckingfying morning. Do you get out a lot? I might as well be on fucking house arrest. I can stay in the house and go nowhere for over a week. Do you eat a lot of vegetables? No. Last fast food you ate? I had a Hardee's biscuit for breakfast. Do you live in Canada? No. What do you think when you see two members of your preferred sex kissing? It's sweet, and brave considering the assholes of the world. Is that hot? "For fuck’s sake… It bothers the hell out of me when people fangirl over homosexual couples. It’s so disrespectful." <<< THIS. Would you ever want to be a chef? No. Bonfires: Y/N? They're fun. What’s a food that’s famous in your hometown/state/country/etc? Southern cooking, like fried chicken, mashed potatoes, hushpuppies, pulled pork, nasty shit like that. By pure coincidence, I literally hate almost all the "traditional" Southern foods. When’s that last time you saw snow? January this year. I think it was January... What’s something that you think will become obsolete in the next 50 years? Physically driving cars, probably. Are you efficient or do you procrastinate a lot? I procrastinate all to hell. Who are the 3 people you love the most? Mom, Sara, and then... idk if I can pick #3. Last person you slept in the same bed with? Sara. When was your first kiss? March 2012. Have you recently been sick? No. What song are you listening to? "Break My Mind" by dAGAMES. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? Yeah. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? Sadly. Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? It's worse. Weed, coke, crack, heroin, oxy, acid, x, k, peyote, mushrooms, opium…How many of these have you tried? I have no clue what like three of these even are lmao. None. How long has it been since you had sex? Like over three years. Who was the last person to call you babe? Probably Sara. Last reason you went to the ER? My sister got in a wreck. Were you a planned pregnancy for your parents? I believe so. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yeah. When was the last time you shaved your legs? It's been many months. My legs are AWFUL, but it is an absolute chore to shave or use Nair because my hair is so long and thick. So I figure if there's very little/no chance someone's going to see my legs, why even do it. I really wanna get laser hair removal on my legs when I can afford it, though. What facial cleanser do you use? A Biore charcoal scrub. If someone wanted to know what you smelt like, what should they smell? I don't know? Probably dogs, lmao? How many purses do you own? One I use, then I have... two or three old ones saved just because I really like them. What are your top five favorite stores to clothes shop? Hot Topic, Rebel's Market, Spencer's, rue21, and... idk. I guess Wal-Mart lmao. What kind of clothes do you mostly wear? Yoga/dance/sweatpants with a tank top, graphic tee, or band tee. What about shoes? Flip flops like, year-round lol. If I do wear something else for whatever reason, it'll probably be my Vans or maybe a pair of Converse. Have you ever cheated on the significant other that you have now? No. For that one week a month, do you hate being a woman? Nah, birth control's made cramping a far smaller problem. Last thing you bought at the mall? Wow, I have no idea. Well... maybe a book before the hurricane to read if the power went out? I haven't read it if you're wondering, aha... Do your parents like your boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah. Dad's met her once, but he seemed to enjoy her just fine, and Mom adores her. What store did you last buy clothes from? Wal-Mart. Which parent are you more similar to? I have traits aligning with each of them. I think my mom, but then again, I don't see my dad nearly enough to know his personality deeply since he changed IMMENSELY after the divorce. Have you ever been to another country’s capital city? No. What are some of your favorite qualities for another person to have? Compassion, wisdom, an open mind, gentle, passionate, a good sense of humor... What smell reminds you of your childhood? Chlorine, I guess. I swam a LOT as a kid; it was my favorite activity. Are you happy with who you are? In some ways, in some ways no. Do you ever sleep with your bedroom windows open? No; we live beside a busy road, and plus I don't trust people. Have you ever had a job where you didn’t fit in with your coworkers? No. What was the last word document you typed? I made a brief outline of the message I'm sending to the client who hired me for her wedding when I send her her pictures. Thanking her and telling her what more I could do for her, stuff like that. What’s something that has upset you lately? The extreme difficulty of finding a job for myself... Do you have a home security system? No, but damn do I want one. What’s something you don’t think people take seriously enough? If you know the darker part of my photography, roadkill. People see it and either think 1.) "poor thing" or 2.) "dumb thing," and that's it. No one seems to truly consider our responsibility to watch for animals on the road; in most instances I've seen, the animal is blamed for being "stupid." No, they're fucking terrified and panicking. Anyway, I'm going on a tangent. Basically, I think we should feel far more pity for what we end, even though it's accidental. And get out of the fucking car to see if it's okay/can be saved. Have you ever gotten sick from someone else’s cooking? I believe so, but I don't really blame the cook. My stomach is just REALLY sensitive to food it's not used to, particularly fancier meals. What was the last kind of cheese you ate? American. How young is too young to be sexually active? "Personally, I think anything under 18." <<< Same. Would you ever dye your hair silver? I wanted to at some point, but particularly with my hairstyle now, idk how good it'd look. What was the last fun thing you did? Shot a wedding. Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? No. What’s your favorite kind of soup? I'm not a fan. Do you know anyone who practices Hinduism? No. How long was your longest relationship? Three and a half years. When was the last time you spoke to the first person you ever kissed? February 2017. What’s a political issue you have a strong opinion on? Gay rights. What snacks do you like to get at the movie theater? Just popcorn is fine. If I have any candy, it's from a gas station or dollar store. Movie theater prices are expensive as fuck. Have you ever stayed in a hotel in the center of a big city? No. What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? Romaine lettuce for my iguana. When you take a nap, do you nap in bed or on the couch? In bed. Do you have any friends you have never gotten into an argument with? Yeah, Connie. Girt and I have also never really had an argument, he's just said things that hurt me as his sense of humor can be a bit harsh and they were sensitive areas, but he's never meant it. Do you think you could survive living by yourself for a month? No. Can you cook anything other then toast? Yeah. How many times have you cried over the last person you cried over? I don’t remember the last person that I cried over. Have you ever been in an on-and-off relationship? So annoying right? No. Have you ever developed a crush on someone the first day you met them? I don’t think so. Have you ever been with someone who was really clingy? Did it annoy you? For only two weeks. I like to pretend that shit never happened. Is there a store you go to so much the employees know your name? The tattoo/piercing parlor I go to know me well; some probably remember my name. Do you have any friends who never shut up about their boyfriend/girlfriend? One literally only talks to me if she wants to ramble endlessly about him. Have you ever helped someone while they were drunk puking? No. There is NO way I could be with someone while they're vomiting. The sound would make me join in, and that's almost a promise. What annoys you more to do, sneeze or cough? Cough. Would you rather have a pet snake or a pet cat? I want another snake. Do you fall for all the lines about making guys/girls like you on magazine covers? Lmao yeah right. Do you have a calendar in your room? What’s it’s theme? My door is currently open so I can't see for sure, but I have three or four outdated meerkat calendars as decoration. Have you ever gotten anything racist about you yelled at you? No. Does the last person whose house you were at like anyone? She's married, so obviously. Do you own more pink or black clothes? Just about everything is black. Has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever given you a stuffed animal? Yeah. What does the last body wash you used smell like? I think it's some kind of ocean-y scent? I don't pay attention. I just know it's blue. What is the worst name anyone has ever called you? A martyr, and not the good kind. Where is your favorite place to eat out? Sonic. Does it bother you when people call you ‘ma'am’ or 'sir?’ No. That's general good manners in the South. Have you ever been obsessed with a television character? I don't think so, but maybe? What was the last thing that changed your life completely? Recovery. Do you have any step siblings? One. I don't call him my brother, though. Did you partake in senior skip days? HA I sure did. Have you ever read the Christian Bible? Not the entire thing. When the holidays come around, do you help decorate? Yeah. Has someone ever promised not to leave you? NEVER IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE BELIEVE THAT SHIT. Do you have a part-time job? No. Are you the type of person who likes to buy gifts for your friends? If I had my own money, I absolutely would. Hopefully I can when I have a job... though I don't exactly have many people to send anything to. Have you ever lived in an apartment before? I wasn't an actual resident, though I was pretty much always there. Have you ever been questioned by the police? No. Are you close to your parents? Yeah. Have you ever had to be put on medicine for a mental disorder? For most of my life. Have you ever been responsible for someone’s death? Wow, no. Do you ever spend the night with your significant other? Well, we're long distance. We do when we visit each other. Do you know a lot about serial killers? No. Have the police ever been looking for you? Ha ha yes, but only because my sister, friend, and I went walking on the beach at night, and apparently Mom didn't hear us when we told her we were going... Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. Do you cuss more than any one else you know? Tbh probably lmao. How old is your youngest cousin? I don't know. Do you tend to talk on the phone a lot? No. Have there ever been any serial killers around your hometown? I don't believe so. When was the last time you went to a museum? When my brother and nephew were here early this month. Do you know how to shoot a gun and hit a target? No. What turns you on the most? Don't grab my boobs. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yes. Do you answer the phones at your work? N/A What’s your ring tone? The Revaleso remix of "Dear Insanity" by Asking Alexandria. The text alert sound is the chime of picking up a gem in Spyro. Do you want to fix anything with anyone? Yeah. Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? I do literally every night. It sucks. What shows do you watch? None. Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. When you were in elementary school, did you change best friends a lot? No. Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? No. Who was the last person to give you a ride somewhere? My VR counselor drove me home the other day. What’s the scariest bug you’ve ever seen? I'm sure some kind of beetle. Not a fan of beetles. What was your favorite TV show you watched as a kid? Pokemon. :') How many times a day do you tell your parents you love them? Mom, at least once when she leaves for work. Dad, I barely ever see him, so. I don't daily. Ever talk to your pets? Of course I do. I talk to them like I talk to people. Do you think it’s alright if people baby talk to babies? ... Yes???? At a certain age you need to set an example to talk correctly, as the kid is going to copy you, but as a baby, no shit it's fine? Ever take a nap in a hammock? I may have fallen asleep, maybe not. Probably not tho 'cuz I would've been afraid of bugs (the hammock was between two trees directly outside the woods in our backyard), so I've likely just dozed for a bit, if anything. Who’s the best character in Rugrats? Oh boy, I don't remember them all. I know I liked Tommy, but I mean, he was the main character, so I guess that's to be expected for a little kid, mostly seeing him. Ever get caught doing something naughty with your boyfriend/girlfriend? No. Who has had the biggest impact on your life? Jason. Girls: ever wear boxers? Guys: ever wear a thong? No. Do you use q-tips to clean your ears? DON'T DO THAT. I got wax adhered to both eardrums because I did that frequently; it inevitably pushed things back and dried onto them. NOT fun getting it sucked out; hurts like a bitch. Always only use them for the outside of your ears. This has been a PSA. Ever want to make out with someone, anyone, didn’t matter who? No. Ever had your feelings hurt when you knew the person was joking? That is EASY, friendo. Do you make jack-o-lanterns during Halloween? Sometimes. Have you ever swam with dolphins? No. Cats, awesome pets or Satan in disguise? I love cats. When you buy/receive new clothes, do you instantly wear them or wash first? Wash them. Do you hate using public restrooms? VERY MUCH. I will avoid using one at almost all costs. What’s the weirdest item you’ve seen for sale on Ebay? Oh my fucking god. So one night my friend Chelsea and I were up REALLY late and were loopy as fuck and this bitch started looking up weird dildos and shit and I'm not even remotely kidding, she found a huge 50 lb. butt plug. I sincerely wish I was joking. Do you check to make sure there’s TP before using the restroom? Yeah. Do you drunk dial/text? I've never been drunk. Have you ever built a massive snow fort? No. We don't get enough snow here. Are parents to blame for what their kids do on the Internet? Not entirely. Do you use acronyms to remember things? I did in school. Do you take pills like Tylenol for the littlest aches and pains? No. When was the last time you went rollerskating? WOW I don't know, but it's been a long time. Do you call people “dude” a lot? Yes. Who was your favorite Ninja Turtle? I was never into them. Horror flicks make you: laugh, scream, or squirm? Out of those, I may ever only squirm at nasty shit. If you could become a doctor, what would you specialize in? Probably ophthalmology (eye doctors). The last time I went to the eye doctor, I got way too into the science and anatomy of the eyes and such. You woulda thought I saw God when I realized I could see the veins in my eyes during that "lemme shine this light straight into your eyes" tests; I thought it was SO cool. Well, I probably realized this at previous appointments, I just didn't remember. Hm, or maybe a pathologist, that'd be cool. I'm looking through a list of doctors, yes. What’s the cutest thing a little kid has ever said to/in front of you? Probably just "I love you" and stuff like that from my niece and nephew. Ha ha aw, wait... When my brother and older nephew were here, Christian exclaimed, "She's up!", like the MOMENT I moved in bed one morning. I'm so happy to say that kid loves me. He wore me the HELL out in the course of just three days, but man, I miss the lil dude now. That occasion in particular just really sticks out to me because I do not find myself good with kids, and to just hear how excited he was that I was up meant the world to me. Apparently I was fun enough. At what age do you plan on moving out? I hope in like... two more years, maybe less. I need a stable job, a car, but I also DO NOT want to live alone, so I'd want to wait until Sara was ready to move, too. I'm beyond thankful Mom isn't rushing me in the least, she seems happy I live here actually, but I don't want to be in her hair much longer nonetheless. I have to be an adult. Did any characters from TV shows scare you as a kid? Which one(s)? King Ramses from Courage the Cowardly Dog fuck-ing TERRIFIED me. His animation was unique to what was normal in the show, so that automatically stood out as different and weird, but more than anything, I was just so scared by his voice and repetitive lines. I had nightmares of that shitlord. HA HA OH MAN I REMEMBER THIS TOO: When I visited my aunt and uncle's when I was little, my family slept on the floor in a room downstairs, and there were small trees outside the window that would sway, and the outline on the curtains would make me think of him. I remember waking Mom up one night about it, and I think she gave me something for comfort, but idr what. What’s the saddest thing you’ve heard on the news recently? In my very own fucking state, consent can no longer legally be revoked when sex begins. Fuck this place. How long does it take before you trust a person? It depends on the person. It's usually a while, though. Have you ever made a time capsule? What did you put in it? Hm... I feel like I have? Wait yeah, I did in elementary school! It was a class effort. Idr where it was buried. What would you do if your mom or dad read your diary/journal/blog? My mother would be deeply concerned that my love of Mark runs as deep as it does, meanwhile my dad would be v v v confused. They would mutually be very worried of their daughter's willingness to eradicate the fools of the population and replace them all with miniature Fischfucks. Do you know anyone with a lisp? I may? I don't exactly have a lisp, but in certain words, I pronounce "s" weakly due to my tongue piercing getting in the way, but it's very mild. If you were to break a Guinness Record, which one would you try and beat? Idk. What’s the coolest item in your room? I'm not sure, I find a lot of things in here particularly cool for various reasons. Hence why it's so heavily decorated. I guess my favorite is probably the Japanese, limited edition Silent Hill: Revelation flyer I have framed on the wall. I won it in a giveaway and I love it alskdjfklajwer. I wanna collect more SH merch, man. Are you accident-prone? Yes, due to my own lack of common sense and clumsy nature. As a kid, what was your favorite activity on the playground? I BOLTED for that swing. Are huge muscles gross or sexy? I'm not a fan of extreme muscles. Have you ever fished and caught something weird? Phew, I grew up fishing all the time with Dad. I'm certain I have. Well, I caught a catfish by the eye, but only the method's weird there, lol. I still to this day feel so bad for the fella. Is old age catching up with you? In my back and knees lmao. Can you sleep through thunderstorms? Yes. Ever spent the night in a tent? Yes. Do people confide in you? Some do. Ever been around someone who makes you feel stupid? He doesn't intend to, he's just reeeaaally fucking smart. Actually, that goes for my brother, too. I knew he was very intelligent, but holy shit, when he was here last and I actually got to hear more about him, his beliefs, and general knowledge, dude's a genius. How many college degrees do you want? Either up to Bachelor's or Master's. For my career goal of being an out-in-the-field zoologist, I need the latter. Do you like animals? SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever written anything longer than 10 pages? Yes; my high school senior project was at least one. There's other personal stories I wrote as a kid, too. Can you snap your fingers? Yes. Can you wink? My right eye, yes. I can with my left eye, but not without my face distorting pretty badly. What song explains how you feel about love? *shrugs* Does hardship make a person stronger? It depends on what they take from it. What comes to mind when you think of pregnancy? Ew please never. Have you ever attended a professional sporting event? Yeah, hockey games with Dad. What is your favorite brand of clothing? I don't have one. Which do you value more, intellect or work ethic? Work ethic. How well do you know the people you live with? Well, I live with my mom, who I've lived with my whole life, and we're very close, if that answers the question. Do you have any heroes? *blinks* Ever been to a cabin on a mountain? No, I wish. Ever lost your voice? At least once. Are you a cautious person? Yes. Meet Anxiety, baby. Do you enjoy comedy shows? Yeah. Do you chew gum? Sometimes, rarely. Do you think a lot when taking a shower? Not really. I just enjoy whatever music I have on. Are you currently charging your phone? No. Do you ever get razor rash? No. Are you a private person? It depends on the subject. If you straighten your hair, do you always use hair spray? N/A Do you curl your hair often? It's too short to be curled. What’s the earliest you’ve ever woken up for school? Idk. Probably around 5:00-5:30 if I was getting ready for a special day or something. Can you get ready in under 10 minutes? Yeah. Has anyone ever told you that you were a bad kisser? No. Do you like Frostys from Wendy’s? Hell yeah. Would you ever sleep in the same bed as your sibling? Sure, if we had no other choice. Ever taken a shower with someone? My little sister and I did all the time as kids, I'm guessing to save water. Would you consider yourself to be a creative person? Yes. Do you usually take a nap during the day? Yes, usually. Might you enjoy hanging out in the woods for day or two? HELL YEAH!!!!!! So long I have my camera and company, that'd be awesome!!! Do you suffer from frequent paranoia? Eh, not as badly as I used to. Two friends whom have been there for you the most? Sara and Girt. If you/your gf became pregnant accidentally, would you consider abortion? If it was my own fault for not using protection, I couldn't do it; then that's my own foolishness. I would regardless if my life was endangered, though. I do believe abortion is killing a living being once brain activity begins, but I believe in the right to put yourself first. If a complete stranger picked a fight with you, would you fight or flight? Flight if possible. Defend myself when necessary. Have you ever decided to set fire to something out of anger? No. Would you rather be a house pet or a wild animal? House pet, so long as my owner is a good one that truly loves me. Wild animal would be much more dangerous, and besides, I like the idea of companionship. Can you juggle more than two objects at once? lol I probably couldn't even juggle two. Can you function well on little to no sleep? Eh. I'm cranky for sure, but I can function. Well... depending. If I am REALLY tired, I won't be able to keep my eyes open. Do you find that it is difficult to maintain your mood? Even on medication, I'm still bipolar (not using that as an adjective; I'm legitimately diagnosed with it). My mood can change VERY quickly with tiny stimuli, but at a much, much milder degree. Have you ever listened to a group of chanting Monks? (if not you should) No, but it's cool! Two sports that you are horrible at? Tennis and volleyball. The latter mostly just hurts like a bitch. One thing that you would like to change about your life? My job situation. What was the last candy you ate? Sour gummy worms. Which decade was your favorite for fashion trends? Idk. I'm really not educated enough on what was trendy for each one. Do you like the current fashion trends? I pay no attention. Who is the strangest (or one of the strangest) person you’ve met? I won't give away his name as it's a pretty unique one, but there was a kid in high school who was certainly different in both good and bad ways. He was pretty unstable. Made his own religion. What are you struggling with currently? Finding a mfckn job. Do you forgive yourself for your mistakes? Most, I'd say. Have you ever been abused by a police officer? No. Name one friend who had a parent who was in jail. A cousin of mine. Has anyone tried to kill you and then played the victim? No? What is your favorite board game? I like Battleship and Scrabble. Can you remember the last time you played a board game? A few months back with Sara and Girt. Actually Scrabble, lol. List three traumatic memories you have. The only truly traumatic memory I have is the breakup. Well, I guess a nightmare I had with my dad kinda is too, seeing as it still affects my trust today? Have you ever been misdiagnosed with something by a bad doctor? Yup. How the fuck did I have ADHD, woman. If you don’t mind my asking, when was the last time you had diarrhea? Like about two weeks ago before my period started. That's starting to seem like a theme. Do you prefer sunny days or cloudy days? I like partly cloudy. Do you have a painful past? A good chunk of it. But I mean, who doesn't have some rough paths behind them. What was the best time of your life? Walking through Chicago with Sara and her dad one night was INCREDIBLE. Coming from the middle of nowhere into such a colossal city with all these lights and such was such a shock to me, and exploring it with them was super cool. It was cold as fuck, but still, it was fun. When was the last time you were hugged? Idk. Well, probably last time I was at Ashley's saying bye to everyone. Do you trust your doctor? Yes. Name something God has healed you of. HAHAHAHA. If applicable, how old were you when you got "saved?" I was raised into religion, so I don't know. I grew up "saved." Have you been baptized, and if so, where? Yes, at my childhood church.

#survey #quiz #questions #bored #random

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thediaryofaudreysaxton · 2 years ago

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October 30th, 2022

Mastermind

My main goal in existing is convincing people to love me. I’ll exaggerate how much I appreciate what you say. Baby, I’ll touch your arm to uplift your moment and I’ll make you repeat why you’re likeable.

I adopt a man’s interests and experiences as my own, acting aloof and surprised when he tells me we have something in common. I fall asleep to our imagined next make-out session and spend the morning replaying our last interaction. Scheming for my beloveds’ attention has been disappointing, isolating, rewarding, humbling, and fun.

I have stalked men I desire, researching their whereabouts and appearing.

He posted his location on social media; he is watching a soccer game at a bar. But what bar is it? I watch the story again. I spot a distinct lamp and the head of a fox nailed to a wood paneled wall. He pans down to his beer, and I see a bar top painted evergreen. I know where he is. He knows I’ve been to this bar before. He wants me to meet him. I look around. The only problem is I am at work. My chest gets heavy. After two weeks of him responding to my incessant texts with one-word answers, I know where he is. My hands sting, and I open my eyes as wide as they’ll go. Taking a deep breathe, I bolt for the bathroom. A patron asks me for a to-go box, and another wants to close his tab. I ignore them. Closing the bathroom door behind me, I pretend to vomit. Flicking sink water and my own spit onto my forehead and neck, I slap myself in the face three times, hard. I scrunch up my hair before furrowing my brow and exiting the bathroom. Walking up to my manager, I admit I have unfortunately thrown up. I believe I need to go home. My manager frowns and ask me if I’m serious.

I am serious.

Thirty minutes later and I put down my backpack at a table directly behind his head. He’s laughing with a few friends. I know the friends’ names, where they’re from and where they went to college. I know how long they’ve been dating their own girlfriends and I know they like to ski. I’ve never met any of them in person. I text my man, ‘Look behind you,’ and he turns. And there I am, smiling and waving.

I met Soup Can Dick when I was 24 and he was 21. He would be the love of my life for the following three years. ‘Soup Can Dick or bust’, I would say under my breathe after a mediocre tinder date or drunkenly kissing a coworker next to the bus stop.

When we first met, we spent every moment together. But after three weeks of fucking me every night, letting me wear his t-shirt, and telling me I was so God damn hot, Soup Can Dick tried to phase me out. I was not going to let him. I knew he wanted me. He was wrong, lying to himself. I was his. And we were good together.

We met when I was couch surfing in my hometown. It was the summer my mom asked my dad not to leave her. The summer she laughed too loud at things not very funny, the summer indiscretions were revealed but our house was not full of the apologetic flowers she deserved. It was the summer my dad admitted through indifference he not only found my mom utterly annoying, but a hinderance. He wanted to live a fulfilling life. It was the summer I never slept at home but did not have my own place. The summer I was not a good older sister, a defining attribute I rely on. My knees were constantly bleeding, scabbed, and then broken open from riding my bike drunk. I crashed into poles, thick bushes, and parked cars.

Soup Can Dick did not want a girlfriend, but he would fuck me after I bought him Thai food and took him bowling. I would never get over losing at my own game, failing at convincing him to need me. But I did eventually move on.

At 27, with three years of gathering tactics, I graduated from stalking men to following them. I first saw The Clown at a comedy show he was hosting. He performed comedy every single night of the week in public places, and I went to all of them. He let me. He saluted me hello and told me thanks for coming. I began following him on October 9th, 2019, and only stopped because of the pandemic.

In October 2019, I had just returned from Costa Rica after dating an established research biologist who was most definitely gay. We were together for 9 months. I told him I loved him when I knew I did not. I had wanted us to be true, but I ultimately traded anal sex for the opportunity and privilege of working with the largest sea turtle in the world.

Leatherback sea turtles, Dermochelys Coriacea, weigh as much as a car and are vital to the vitality of our oceans. I liked to touch their soft vaginas as they birthed a clutch of eggs into the bag I was holding. The endangered sea turtles were always knocking me headfirst into the sand with their front flippers as I strained to record their coveted length and width measurements before they returned to the sea after nesting. With feet pruned from following her into the water, I took pleasure in licking the salt off my upper lip as she slowly and heavily swam away. I didn’t know if the salt was from the sea or my pores. As researchers, we wore all black to camouflage with the night.

My favorite part was waiting for the nesting sea turtle to excavate an unnecessary nest on land. I wanted so badly to tell her that the eggs would be relocated to our hatchery. There was no need to exert unnecessary energy. Just give me your eggs now, I told her in a whisper. But alas, I waited two hours while she dug, her back flippers extending deep into the ground like an accordion. These last living dinosaurs have brains the size of a penny, so I would sit directly behind her, unnoticed, patting her shell good job. Me and a giant sea turtle, alone in the Caribbean at moonlight.

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geekprincess26 · 6 years ago

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The Year of Zero: Chapter 1

June 17, 908 AC

“Sansa!” Catelyn Stark’s voice drifted over the banisters lining the basement stairs and through the crack under the firmly closed door of her eldest daughter’s bedroom. “Come and set the dinner table, please.”

Twelve-year-old Sansa squeezed her eyes shut and sighed with frustration. It seemed but a few minutes since she’d had to set the table for lunch, and now it was dinnertime already. Really, she had only had but a few minutes to herself that afternoon. She’d had to wash the lunch dishes while her mother had ferried Bran and Rickon off to basketball practice, which would have been fine except that Arya, who’d been drying the dishes next to her, had been in a hurry to head off biking with her friends and done her job far too quickly, leaving streaks of water all over the plates. As soon as Sansa had pointed that out, Arya had begun snapping at her, and Catelyn Stark had come home to find them in a blazing row. They’d gotten to snapping each other with the dish towels, but Sansa had had the misfortune to be the only one of them her mother had actually seen in the act, so she’d gotten the harsher punishment, along with a stern admonition to act her age and be a better example to her sister.

So now she was stuck doing the dishes every night that week, and here it was only Tuesday. It was doubly unfair because Robb was supposed to have washed the lunch dishes that day, and he could always handle Arya and her fits and pranks and immaturity better than Sansa could. But Robb was at day camp for football this week, and her parents could hardly deny him the chance to improve his skills and possibly earn a place on the school varsity team that fall. He would only be a freshman, but he was tall and broad for fourteen, and Coach Cassel had told the Starks he had a real chance. So Robb had gone to camp and agreed to do the dinner dishes that week, which now fell to Sansa because he was away and Arya had gotten off on a lighter punishment yet again for yet another fight she’d started in the first place.

Sansa sighed again and willed her eyes open. She might yet get another page of Florian and Jonquil read before her mother –

“Sansa Lyarra!” Catelyn called, and Sansa flopped her feet off her bed to the floor. She grabbed her favorite bookmark, the silver one with the pretty blue ribbon that she’d won for good grades last year in school, and tucked it carefully into the pages of her favorite book. Another sigh left her lips as she mounted the stairs to the kitchen.

Catelyn barely spared her elder daughter a glance from the pot of stew she was stirring. Sansa thought she might be able to escape to her room for a few more minutes before dinner if she set the table quickly enough, but just as she was placing the soup spoons, she heard the familiar creak of the back door and the even more familiar voices of her father and elder brother as they stopped to remove their shoes in the back entryway.

“Hey, Sans.” Robb, hair still wet from his after-camp shower, wiggled her braid and grinned at her. “What’s up?”

No sooner had Sansa opened her mouth than Rickon burst into the kitchen to tackle his oldest brother. Robb laughed and swung Rickon upside-down, which earned him a fit of giggles from the younger boy and a “Robb, be careful with him!” from Catelyn. Sansa turned back to the table, sighed again, and finished placing the spoons.

No sooner had everyone sat down to the table than Ned Stark raised a hand to ward of the customary dinnertime chatter (less chatter and more noise, thought Sansa) about to erupt from his children’s lips.

“Before we talk about our days,” he said, “let’s go over what we’re doing tonight and tomorrow. Robb has a ball game in – ” he glanced at the clock on the wall – “about an hour, and another tomorrow night at the same time. Rickon, Bran, you’re home with Sansa; Arya, you’ll be coming with us. We’ll do the same tomorrow; Robb has another game from his rain delay last week. That should be all, right, Cat?” He turned to his wife, who kept a whiteboard calendar fastened to the refrigerator with each child’s extracurricular activities written in a different color, and she nodded.

Sansa swallowed a sip of lemonade as fast as she could. “Daddy,” she said, and Ned turned to look at her. “I’ll be at Jeyne’s tomorrow night, not at Robb’s game. Mrs. Poole will bring me home by 9:00.”

“Sansa, we need you here with Bran and Rickon,” Catelyn interjected. “The game won’t be over till after their bedtime.”

Sansa frowned. “But it’s on the calendar, Mum,” she reminded her mother. “You said I could go.”

Catelyn sighed. “Sorry, love,” she said. “We didn’t know that Robb would have his makeup game tonight when I told you that. I’ll call Mrs. Poole and tell her you can’t come.”

Sansa bit her lip. She did not want to rouse her mother’s ire twice in one day, but she hadn’t seen her best friend since last week, and they were going to paint their nails with the lovely indigo nail polish Jeyne had just gotten after seeing it in Westerosi Fashion Teen!, not to mention catching up on the latest episode of Jenny of the Oldstones.

“Muuum,” she began, but her father narrowed his eyes just a bit – not so much that he was angry, but it was still enough to silence Sansa.

“Sansa,” he admonished her. “Respect your mother, please. We need you here with Bran and Rickon.” He turned to his wife. “Maybe you can go to Jeyne’s another night if Mrs. Poole says yes.”

Sansa’s shoulders began to slump. She wanted to ask why Bran and Rickon couldn’t just have a babysitter, but she knew better than to argue. A moment later, a new plan occurred to her, and she straightened back up in her seat.

“Maybe Friday, after my dance recital?” she asked hopefully. Ned threw his wife a questioning look.

Catelyn sighed. “Oh, that’s right,” she said. “I’d thought for a moment it was next Friday instead. Robb’s got another game, so if she can take you there and then back to her house, that should work fine.”

Sansa’s eyebrows and nose wrinkled. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Robb stifle a grin at what he’d called her “scrunch face” since she was a baby and he was three years old.

“I thought you and Daddy were taking me,” she said, but Catelyn shook her head.

“Rickon’s got basketball that night,” she said, “so I’ll be taking him and Bran there. Dad will take Arya to Robb’s game.”

Sansa’s shoulders dropped again. She and Jeyne were performing the Rosy Reel with Alys Karstark and Wylla Manderly on Friday, and it was a five-minute dance, representing by far the biggest role Sansa had ever taken on stage. Even Mrs. Poole, who had never been much of a one for dance, had been clucking with excitement over watching it. But Sansa knew any protest on her part would be futile, so she went back to sipping her lemonade in silence with her eyes fixed on her dinner plate.

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“Then Rickon ran outside because he wouldn’t go to bed, the idiot, and I told him I’d tell Mum on him, but he said he didn’t care because I couldn’t punish him for it, anyway.”

Sansa rolled her eyes as she finished her tale and passed the nail polish brush to Jeyne, whose mother had after all agreed to Sansa’s coming to their house on Friday night instead of Wednesday. Jane rolled her eyes harder, if possible.

“Ugh,” she replied. “I’m glad I don’t have a little brother; Elna and Freya are almost bad enough for three brothers, anyway.”

Sansa grinned. Jeyne was almost always complaining about the antics of her twin six-year-old sisters.

“Better them than Arya, still,” she said, and Jeyne sighed.

“Fair point,” she replied. “At least we won’t be in school with her next year.”

“I know,” Sansa said. Her grin rose to match her friend’s. Both had graduated from Winterfell Elementary School that spring and would attend Robett P. Glover Middle School in the fall.

“So when’s your grandma taking you for new clothes?” Jeyne asked, brushing the polish gently over the smallest nail on her right foot. Sansa’s grandmother always took her and Arya to the mall to buy them each a new outfit for school at the end of each summer.

Sansa shrugged. “I don’t think she’s set it with Mum yet,” she replied, and took the brush out of Jeyne’s outstretched hand to dip it in the polish bottle.

“Well, make sure she gets you something nice, not frumpish like last year’s,” Jeyne said and reached up to grab the newest issue of Westeros Fashion Teen! from her bed. She flipped over a few pages and held it out to Sansa. “Something like this one.”

She pointed to a picture of a grinning blonde girl in a bright green choker top and a dark denim crop skirt with an artful slit lined with a swath of green and yellow plaid. Sansa frowned. Since when did Jeyne use the word frumpish? Probably since her aunt had gotten her a subscription to the magazine for her birthday earlier that year, she decided. That didn’t mean Grandma Stark would buy her an outfit like the one Jeyne had just shown her, though. She would probably say the skirt was too short. Besides, Sansa had liked last year’s outfit just fine, although perhaps she could persuade her grandmother to buy her a denim skirt in a longer length instead of her usual twill pants.

“We can’t be the idiot sixth-graders who walk into a load of eighth-graders looking like dorks,” Jeyne continued. “Or a load of boys. Lena says most of the boys in our year are hopelessly immature, but some of the seventh- and eighth-graders will treat you properly, or even ask you to the autumn dance, if you’re dressed smart and know your football teams.” She grinned as she grabbed a bottle of nail enamel dryer from the shelf behind her. “Myrcella Baratheon’s older brother Joffrey is in seventh this year, remember? I saw her the other day, and she said he just broke up with Tyene Sand.” Her voice rose with the hissing noise of the spray leaving the can. “He and his mates are all gorgeous. Just think if we each got one of them for the dance!”

Sansa would have asked whether the magazine subscription had made Jeyne get so superfluous about a load of boys, but then she had met Joffrey Baratheon before, and she did have to admit he was cute. And it would be awfully nice to get asked to the dance – maybe then she could talk Mum into getting her another new dress that way, and she’d seen the loveliest pale blue one at the mall the other day. And if a boy as popular and cute as Joffrey Baratheon asked her to the dance, maybe Eddara Tallhart and her friends would slack off calling Sansa a nerd, geek, dork, and prissy all the time.

Sansa peered down at her toenails and smiled. The nail polish looked even prettier than she’d thought. Maybe that magazine had done Jeyne some good after all.

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October 17, 927 AC

Sansa wiped a stray strand of hair out of her face and opened her junk drawer for its annual cleaning. One more drawer after this, and she could drag her ancient vacuum cleaner back to the closet and call it a day. She might even eat the whole chocolate bar sitting in the refrigerator, instead of just half, both to mark the end of such an exhausting afternoon and to celebrate the fact that the twenty-year-old machine, which she’d bought back in college and had never been able to afford replacing, was still going strong. God only knew she couldn’t afford to buy a new vacuum cleaner if this one bit the dust.

She snorted at her own unintentional pun and reached to the back of the drawer. Her hand closed around an address book, two photo frames, and a tiny bottle with a smeared silver lid. Sansa put down the other items and shook it out of instinct. It was the first thing she’d done when she’d gotten her hands on Jeyne’s bottle of nail polish that Friday night after their dance recital. Less than half the contents remained, and over the years they had separated until the layer of clear liquid on top was almost as thick as its more colorful counterpart on the bottom. Sansa had nearly thrown it away any number of times, but she’d stopped trying a few years back. It was, after all, all she had left of Jeyne.

Sansa put the bottle down and reached back to empty the drawer. Ten more minutes and she could collapse into her chair and pay today’s bill, not to mention check the total, although she already knew what it would be. She’d calculated it in her head every day for a month now.

After today’s payment of 451.87 Lions, she’d have 40,553.50 Lions left to pay. If she paid the same amount – the maximum she could afford – every month, it would take 89.7459 months for her to pay it. That translated to 7.4788 years.

7.4788 years until March 31, 936.

Sansa flipped the vacuum cleaner’s power switch on. She would definitely have the whole chocolate bar tonight.

#jon x sansa #jonsa fanfiction #drama #tragedy #tw: depression #tw: mental health issues #tw: suicidal thoughts #the darkest hour is just before dawn #my writing #multi-chapter fics #fic: the year of zero

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