#i went through a lot in my dating life enough to last a lifetime of lessons

[aly-s0ares]

in fact, i don’t owe an explanation, but i find it extremely difficult to touch people or to flirt with people if i don’t have any pre existing feelings for them prior. trust is big for me and love bombing doesn’t work like it use to anymore.

i’m very anxious, and i never know if i’m safe with someone so i don’t feel comfortable doing anything until i know that i wont be hurt by them. i’ve been through a lot and sometimes that type of attention can trigger that and it sucks and i know nobody likes it. i don’t even like it but it’s what it is now. i need to trust someone. i can’t force myself into a situation that makes me feel uncomfortable just because it’s annoying to someone else who just doesn’t understand it.

[tearfallpixie]

Make Mama Happy - Chapter 12

Only back a little. I am dragging today but I felt good enough to give you the next chapters. 🖤🖤🖤

Tags: @nerdraging4point0 @thesazzb @synthetic-wasp-570 @circle-with-me @beaker1636 @itsjustemily @witchyweeb34 @agravemisstake @cookiesupplier @cncohshit @faceless-mirror @nonamessblog @yournecessaryevil @black-damask1999

@lyschko666 @vinyardmauro @skulliecadaver-blog @some-daniela @latenightmusiclover @rye14-blog1 @somewhere-diamond @Shilohrosechicken @abiomens @awkwardalex @rumoured-whispers @miss570

“Heather!” I screamed. Vinny and I had gone to the airport to pick up my best friend and her boyfriend and to say I had missed her was an understatement. I’m sure to the onlookers it was comical to see two grown women running full speed at each other, but I didn’t care. I missed my best friend too much.

“Nichole!” We tackled each other in the middle of the walkway and stood there for what felt like a lifetime. “I missed you so much.”

“Never leave me for that long again or I’m cutting off all of your hair.” I cried; the threat completely empty but it got a laugh out of her.

“I promise.” We pulled away and I saw Rick standing behind her with a guilty expression.

“Hey brat. I kinda missed you.” He mumbled. “Can I get a hug?” I cocked my head but when he opened his arms, I found myself walking into them. We hugged each other for a second before pulling back and me landing a decent punch to his arm.

“I guess I kinda missed you too. But you deserved that. Asshole.” I huffed as an afterthought, pride coursing through my body as he rubbed his now sore arm with a grin. The boys hugged briefly before we made our way over to the baggage claim and found their luggage.

“You and Rick are getting along? Is the world ending?” Heather asked me quietly. We were trailing a few feet behind our boys so they couldn’t hear us over the roar of all the people returning home from the holidays.

“Don’t think to much into it. He texted me on Christmas with an apology and I decided to try to be friends. I don’t expect it to last.” I giggled. We got their stuff and headed out to the car, Rick and Vinny sitting up front and Heather and I sitting in the back. It was about a 20-minute drive back to Rickys place and I had to admire it. I hadn’t been there before so I didn’t realize that his house was sitting on a bit of land and tucked inside a bunch of trees. “Your home is beautiful Richard.” His house was a gorgeous white two story house that had giant windows looking into the living room to let in a lot of natural light.

“Thank you. I got lucky to find this property.” We unloaded their bags and Rick handed his to Vinny. “Can you take that up to my room please?” The drummer nodded and both him and Heather went inside and up the stairs. “So I was thinking Thursday afternoon we could go look at rings.” He said casually.

“Are we not going to talk about this?” I asked, my frustration with how dismissive he was being boiling over.

“What? I’m trying to.” He said stupidly.

“Not ring shopping Rick! You hate me! Why are you acting all buddy-buddy now?” I snapped.

“You’re dating Vinny. I’m stuck with you in my life now so I might as well get use to you being here.” He shrugged. “You guys seem happy too. So, I guess I was wrong about you.”

“Jesus! You can’t go 10 minutes without trying to take a jab at me, can you? Did you forget you tried to lie about me to my best friend? Tried to convince her I was scum who tried to steal you away?” I was getting seriously annoyed with him in that moment.

“I apologized for that! And I’m being truthful. I was wrong about you and I’m sorry!” He was getting angry now too. I didn’t know how we were ever going to try to make a friendship work if we couldn’t go 5 minutes without fighting.

“Yeah, whatever. This is still probably some joke so you and Vin can have one last laugh. I like him a lot, but I can never catch a break with you two.” I growled. Ricks eyes went wide but they weren’t looking at me. I turned around to see Vinny and Heather standing in the doorway of the house both of them looking sad but an underlying look of anger in Vinny’s eyes.

“Do you still think so little of me?” He asked slowly.

“Vin-“

“I invited you into my home, I let my mother take you under her wing. Hell, even my father loves you! And yet you still hold me at arm’s length.” He was scarily calm right now and it terrified me. Rick had moved over to Heather and pulled her away from what was sure to be a cat fight.

“This was all fake when it started Vinny. It was a show so you could get your mom off your back. I’m sorry if I am still having a hard time believing this is real.” I scoffed. He didn’t get a right to be mad at me for being scared.

“So the last two weeks meant nothing to you?” He had gotten closer to me and I could feel the fury rolling off of him.

“Oh, the last two weeks where you seem like you are walking on eggshells around me? Sure, you can call this a relationship but ever since we slept together on Christmas eve you’ve been acting weird around me.” I sighed. “Don’t forget this all started because he called me a whore and you believed him.” I jerked my hand at the guitarist.

“Fuck, I am so sick of you throwing that in his face! It was an idiot move and he apologized! Get over it.”

“You’re complaining about me not trusting you and yet you still defend him!” I laughed pathetically. I knew it was all too good to be true. “Fuck this. I take back what I said. I thought I loved you but you cant even be man enough to say it back and now this? I’m hurt. I get to be hurt. So if you want to choose his side then fine. I’m not going to deal with this shit anymore.”

“Rick, I’m going to go home. I need some air.” Vinny went back to his car and got in, quickly taking off without me and leaving me there with Heather and Rick. As I watched him drive away my eyes filled with tears and I barely felt myself collapse into a heap on the drive way. I had probably just ruined the best relationship of my life because of my stupidity and there was no way he was going to forgive me now. I laid there in a puddle of tears as strong arms reached down and pulled me into seated position, hugging me tightly. I glanced up to see Rick watching me with a sad smile and that made me cry even harder.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered. “I- I forgive you. I’m just-“ I couldn’t even finish my words but I could tell he understood. I wasn’t even mad at him anymore so I didn’t know why I couldn’t just let the situation go and trust in him and Vinny. He lifted me into his arms and carried me inside to his couch. He set me down and I drifted off, only barely registering the blanket he pulled up over my shoulder.

~~~~

“Mom?” Vinny whispered. He was currently standing on her porch, having driven around for the better part of 4 hours before he landed there. Tears were streaming down his face and he angrily tried to wipe them away but as he did new ones just fell.

“Vincenzo, honey, what’s wrong?” Rosa asked, grabbing his arm and pulling him inside. “Its cold dear. Come in and I will make you hot chocolate.”

“I messed up.” He mumbled. “Nichole, shes- shes amazing and perfect and kind and sweet and I like her and I ruined it all.” He went over to the couch and collapsed onto it, taking a pillow and burying his face.

“I’m sure that isn’t true. Now stop trying to suffocate yourself, that won’t win her back.” His mom scolded him, setting the hot chocolate on the table. He dropped the pillow to his lap and sighed.

“She’s never going to forgive me! It was ruined before it even started and it’s all my fault!”

“How is it your fault exactly?” She sat in the chair across from him and waited for him to respond. He hated how patient and understanding she was because all he wanted was to hate himself right now and he wanted her to hate him too. He was a horrible son.

“Because I believed Rick. He opened his god damn mouth and I believed him and that was before I even met Nichole. He was lying about her so that I would hate her. But I don’t. I love her and-“ He froze at his words and let out a frustrated yell. “I fucking love her. I’m so fucking stupid. She told me she loved me and I didn’t have the balls to say it back and now she’s gone.” He shoved the pillow over his face again and actually tried suffocating himself this time.

“Richard is your best friend. I’m sure he told you what he did with good intentions.” The pillow dropped once more and he shook his head. He wished he could just disappear and all of this would just go away. He just wanted to hold Nichole in his arms right now and hug her and tell her everything was going to be ok but he messed that all up.

“No. He told me she had been flirting with him behind Heathers back so the first time I saw her I told her we didn’t want her kind around us and she needed to leave. I treated her like trash only to find out moments later that Rick had lied to me because he didn’t want me to be with her.”

“I’m sorry. I’m confused. How did you two end up together?”

“Because Ky said you were going to set me up with someone! I didn’t want a relationship at the time so I asked her to fake date me for a while to get you off my back.” He froze and his eyes went wide. He had not meant to say that and from the look on his mother’s face, she was not amused. The way she leaned back in her chair and raised a single eyebrow terrified him. He had only seen that expression a hand full of times before. Once when his sister had a pregnancy scare in high school, once when Kyle had broken Vinny’s arm when they were wrestling, and once when Vinny himself had decided to drop out of college to pursue a career with this small band that had very little hope of succeeding at the time. This look was one you never wanted to see on Mama Mauro. “I can explain.”

[todayisafridaynight]

I have gotten two of my friends interested in Tsuma just by spamming GIFs so can confirm the Cutest Old Man In Media strategy has a high success rate... ON THAT NOTE. Very strong list of cuties... I Must Agree... Ikegami may be At Least A Little heinous but can't argue with that reasoning...

AND OK LISTEN. Some things I tell you are meant to be locked away in the vault never to be spoken of again... Tsutsumi's retirement is one of those... [just kidding it's fine LMAO he can do whatever makes him happy But I Will Cry I'm Sorry WE GET LIKE ONE MAINLINE GAME EVERY FOUR YEARS WHAT IF JO NEVER COMES BACK AAAA] BUT YES. YEAH. Very curious how he might do as a director...

DJKLGHJKLSDHLKS NO THAT'S THE FUNNIEST THING because I will generally just mention something in passing without actually recommending it but you'll go for it anyway😭😭😭NOT COMPLAINING. NOT COMPLAINING IN THE SLIGHTEST you have my deepest gratitude after A Lifetime of having my recommendations fall through and not being able to talk about stuff I'm into I cannot say this enough 😭😭😭😭😭but of course, definitely checking out the movie when I can :] I wish I could've watched before responding but busy day... oh well...

Speaking of! Kagerou Touge here and Tonbi here. They're both a bit less than three hours and split into two parts sooooo up to you <3 I don't remember enough about Tonbi to summarize it any better than what's on the page and It Is Best I Leave Kagerou A Surprise From Start To Finish. Bali Big Brother has been a bitch for years though unfortunately😩no subs may or may not be better than the machine-translated subs I had to work with

AGREED ON EVERYTHING ABOUT ATR NO NOTES NO ADDITIONS... YOU GET ME... KUROMI/MY MELODY-CORE SO REAL I felt like stopping and pointing whenever you could see their charms😭😭😭big fan... huge even... also the visual direction was Overall really good it is such a pretty anime and goes So Hard with the rain motif... SPEAKING OF THE FINALE WHICH I LOVED FOR THOSE SAME REASONS AS WELL Akira imagining breaking into a run to kiss Kondo on the cheek in the "date" ep but when she actually does it in real life it's a hug... as friends... broooooooo 😭😭😭😭😭

can't believe you're just hoarding keisuke gifs from me 😭 yes ive seen all of the show but STILL BUT REGARDLESS I'M GLAD YOU GOT OTHERS ON BOARD truly love this show a lot for keisuke... even beyond him tho not only is the cast really lovely but again i really love where the story went and how it all culminated in its last episodes..

and LISTEN Yes Ikegami Is A Lil Rank. Comes With Being A Yakuza but i do not have many options out of the charas ive seen tsutsumi play 😔 we been through this ttm is either very heinous or very serious in his films.... have to be careful..... plus i still think him smiling so much during the filming of the movie was cute, he's just a little silly to me 😔

but if tsutsumi isn't due to come back cause of his career, i gotta be the one to rip the bandaid off an assume jo prob won't return after this game. which either means 1.) joins the graveyard of tsutsumi charas 2.) He Somehow Gets Out Just Fine ???? And Just Does His Own Thing ???? Alone ???? either way... very intrigued to see what LaD8 has in store with that in mind...

there's some evil parasite in my brain that makes me immensely interested in things- like i accidentally went down a rabbit hole on The Superman Curse after someone made an aside comment about the latest flash movie DO NOT mention things to me because i will investigate it thoroughly... AND IM GLAD I DO CAUSE I FIND GEMS LIKE THESE !!!!!!!!! with that said i hope you enjoy the movie if you get to it !! (❁´◡`❁)

AND SPEAKING OF EPIC THANK YOU SO MUCH !!! i wouldn't mind with auto-generated subs tbh.... i've worked with less honestly BUT for now i'll see to watchin these two tonight ||ヽ(*￣▽￣*)ノミ|Ю

I REALLY LOVED THE RAIN THEME OF AtR. like Yeah That's On The Label BUT STILL it really fit the title so well... AND YAYA THE PARALLEL IN THE DATE EP FANTASY VS THE FINAL EP REALITY.... cinema.. LITERAL cinema i LOVE so so much the direction the anime went with their relationship... i said it enough but it's just so refreshing and great to see...

[uleavemebreathless]

Yes to all this❤️I definitely find Leela so relatable when you view her from a cptsd lens. Forgive me if I'm not super coherent rn (I’ve been busy and haven’t gotten much sleep lately😭) and I'll probably leave a lot out but I wanna explain why I relate to her as someone with cptsd/childhood trauma. This is just scratching the surface and I’ll probably elaborate more on this later. I’m actually working on a fic that extrapolates on this and deals with Leela’s trauma that I’ll be able to work my own takes/experiences into.

I think a lot of Leela’s behaviour can be explained by cptsd, even the stuff that isn’t explicitly implied as such by the show. Her forgetting she accidentally impregnated Kif makes a lot more sense if you consider it something she actively repressed through dissociation. I mean, just look at her face while she’s carrying Kif through the swamp. She is not mentally There right now. As someone who was abandoned by her family(funnily enough, in production order this ep comes right before Leela’s Homeworld)I think it fucks her up that she accidentally created life with her dna that she isn’t even technically the parent of. The alcohol jokes in COALB(and Xmas) weird me out a little, but addictions/substance abuse is one of the symptoms of CPTSD so I read the jokes as a Leela self-medicating to deal with the stressful situation she’s suddenly found herself in.

As someone who experienced a traumatic childhood, I crave stability. I want the truly stable happy family I never felt like I got as a kid and I can see that in Leela in spades. Teenage Mutant Leela’s Hurdles is such a satisfying cptsd episode for me, even if it wasn’t intended as such. Leela desperately trying to create the childhood she never really had but ultimately accepting that everything she went through in her life made her the person she is today means so much to me.

I’ve spent my whole life trying to fill the gaps in my life with bad decisions and I can see my own actions in Leela.

You can see this in her relationships in the series. Over the course of the show, she dates men who she think will give her what she thinks she needs. You’ve got Adlai, the doctor with a pathological obsession with normalcy, who she believes will give her the normal family life she's always desired(complete with a kid they decided to adopt like a week into dating). Alcazar, the last member of her species, who she believes helps her feel like finally belongs somewhere. Chaz, the slick successful career guy, who she believes will give her the acceptance and clout she craves after a lifetime of bullying and being looked down on for being different.

Meanwhile there’s Fry, who lives in squalor, has terrible hygiene, is deeply immature and selfish. At first, he doesn’t seem the like the kind of guy Leela needed or wanted. And yeah, for a lot of the series, Fry wasn’t an ideal life partner. But he was a good friend to Leela and he eventually matured into exactly the kind of person she needed in her life. He’s honest and fun and sweet and dependable.

I think Fry really does give her what she always needed in a romantic relationship. He can't fix her shitty childhood, but he does encourage her to heal her inner child. He encourages her to be a little silly and let her indulge herself occasionally. He encourages her to be more open about her feelings and express them in a healthy way. He understands her like I don’t think anyone ever has before.

I saw some posts recently complaining about Leela's writing in Hulu, which I found… a little confusing. I can only assume it’s coming from people who are just disappointed that Leela isn’t the prim hardass she was in season 1 bc. beyond some of the more sexist writing in HTWW1 and PatP(tho she was under a spell and the whole episode is non-canon so… whatever lol), I love how she's been written so far, especially so far in season 9. In eps like The One Amigo and Beauty and the Bug, we get to see her self-indulgent silly side, stuffing her face with buggalo legs, interacting with the kids and insisting they’ve gotta dress in disguises for the big heist. To me, it comes off as someone who’s finally letting themselves relax and embrace who they truly are. Leela basically had to raise herself as a kid and now she’s finally allowing herself to relax and enjoy her life.

There’s obviously way more to say about Leela and trauma and I will later. She’s super hashtag relatable to me.😭

I’d love to hear you ramble about CPTSD Leela as someone who doesn’t know much about it

so a lot of this is actually inspired by @uleavemebreathless and her experience with CPTSD and how she sees it in leela. i did independently come to the same conclusion through researching symptoms but my angle is more of a psychologist lens than a personal lens.

so CPTSD is complex PTSD and emerges from long-term trauma as opposed to a short-term traumatic experience. this could include war, domestic violence, or child neglect/abuse. so growing up neglected and bullied and told you were worthless and unlovable fits the criteria for the sort of trauma that creates CPTSD.

now a lot of this is pure headcanon because we don't have much evidence of leela having flashbacks and nightmares or dissociating in the manner typical of PTSD. but CPTSD severely affects the way one handles relationships and emotional regulation.

we know that leela has serious trouble regulating her emotions, particularly when it comes to anger, as she's outright said she uses "violent outbursts" as a coping mechanism ("lethal inspection"). she has a particular tendency to struggle with self-regulation when talked down to and told she can't do something -- "the sting," "bender's game" and "mobius dick" have her get overdefensive and ramp up her impulsive defiant behavior because she's told she can't do something and i interpret this in part as a trauma reaction. she has a compulsive need to prove herself. we also see her instinctively fight off people crowding her in "hell is other robots" and she's generally hypervigilant and defensive. because nobody else looked out for her so she learned to look out for herself.

i think she also has a wonky sense of self as part of this trauma, at least early in the series, because she grew up not knowing what her species even was. i think part of why she commits to unhealthy relationships (adlai, alcazar) is because she's desperate for stability and family when she thinks she otherwise has no chance at it. she's better at dumping chaz because by that point she's got a better support system (her parents and fry). but she struggles a lot with trusting fry and sometimes assumes the worst of him because (on top of fry giving her some decent reasons to be suspect pre-character-development) she can't really accept being loved for who she is, she's been manipulated multiple times in relationships and doesn't want to take that risk with fry until she's absolutely certain he loves her.

we also see in the most recent episode she really struggles to make friends and it likely doesn't come naturally to her because she was bullied and isolated for a lot of her life and didn't even want to try until she had something more controlled to practice with (i.e. chelsea). she's very awkward and repetitive in these friendships because it's not natural to keep a relationship for her.

in general i think she's struggling a lot more than people acknowledge compared to characters like fry and we really ought to take that into consideration when discussing her arc. she's come a long way from an awful beginning! i'm proud of her!

[p-taryn-dactyl]

july

a/n: hey everyone! i was listening to this song the other day and i just really wanted to write a fic around it! this is based around july by noah cyrus

word count: 678

warning(s): angst - emotionally abusive relationship(?) (ok why are Nat fics so angsty? imma write a fluff piece afterwards for her to balance it out)

You sat with your knees pulled close to your chest, silent tears streaming down your face. You held your breath, your mind a mantra of numbers. 

    1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10

Natasha’s words rang through your head, each repeated syllable caused another wave of panic and nausea to overcome you. 

Why do you have to be a burden all the time, Y/N. God, my job is hard enough without your nagging.

You tried to keep the sobs contained in your chest as you rocked back and forth on the bed, Natasha’s side unused and cold. She was probably at the bar, you thought, that’s where she always went after an argument. She would stumble back in around 3am, breath smelling of beer and some other girls perfume.

But you never said anything. You didn’t want to annoy her anymore than you already did.

You didn’t want to loose her completely. She still came home to you, didn’t she? That had to mean something.

It wasn’t a secret that you were afraid of change. You guessed thats why your relationship with Natasha stayed the same, never changing from the nights of eating dinner alone, sitting still while Natasha yelled at you, waiting for her to come home reeking of alcohol and infidelity.

You wished she would just tell you to leave, kick you out. You wished you would come home one day to her shoving your things in suitcases, forcing you out of your shared apartment. That would allow you to leave, allow her to find someone that she wouldn’t fall out of love with, someone who wouldn’t bother her with mundane questions of whether or not she was okay, how the mission went. Find someone who loved her better than you did.

Natasha reminded you everyday of how she could find someone better, that your relationship, your love, wasn’t enough for her. She reminded you everyday that you weren’t enough, yet you still stayed with her.

You don’t know when your relationship went south. You look back on the romantic dates and forehead kisses like one does on a fading memory.

You don’t know what you did to make her fall out of love.

It felt like a lifetime since you were happy. Like centuries had passed since Natasha last smiled at you with love shining in her eyes. You knew everyone had to make mistakes in life and surely you had done a lot of things wrong. Loving Natasha was one of them. Falling in love with her had to be one of the biggest mistakes of your life. Because now, she was no longer in love with you and you can’t move on. You felt like you were dying inside with each passing day filled with dreading every second.

You heard the front door open, Natasha’s drunken footsteps echoing through the halls. She stumbled a few times, bumping into the walls. When she opened the bedroom door, all she did was stare at you blankly. You avoided her gaze, not wanting her to see the tears in your eyes and staining your cheeks. Instead, you looked at your closet, where your suitcase was stored. Maybe today she would kick you out, tell you to leave. Maybe today she would set you free from the prison you trapped yourself in.

“Why are you still awake?” Her cold voice cut through the silence as she slurred her words. You maneuvered yourself under the covers of the bed, pulling the blanket up to your chin. You shrugged in response to her question. Natasha scoffed.

“Really? No answer?”

You sniffed, wiping away stray tears as you once again shrugged in response. Natasha shook her head as she changed into her pajamas, coming to sit next to you in bed. Her eyes bore into you as she took in your shaking form, you had obviously been crying. While guilt blended through her system, you braced yourself for the words she had spoken to you every night.

After all, she reminded you everyday you weren’t enough but you still stayed.

Why would tonight be any different?

a/n: no matter how excited i was to write this, i feel like i butchered it. But thank you for reading! I hope this wasn’t as bad as i think it is.

[sacredsorceress]

Who’s She? || Bucky Barnes

pairing: bucky barnes x doctor!reader

summary: when sam gets injured during a mission and isn’t able to go to a hospital, bucky brings him and natasha to his own home to get cared for by his girlfriend, y/n, who he’s been keeping a secret.

a/n: this is my first time writing for bucky! reblogs and replies are super appreciated! also here i'm going to pretend that bucky didn’t get snapped so you started dating during the blip and natasha didn’t die

word count: 2.9k

warnings: mentions of blood, sam getting shot, fluff

masterlist || request

“Shit.”

He followed the sound of the gunshot to another open room within the warehouse. He watched as the group they had been fighting fled the building, hopping into their trucks and speeding away before he even had the chance to process what was happening in front of him never mind go after them. When the group dispersed out of the room he finally saw what all the commotion had been about- Sam was lying on the floor with Natasha kneeling above him at his side.

“What happened?” Bucky asked, jogging towards where the two of them were in the center of the large, open room.

Natasha looked up, her hands feeling around Sam’s shoulder, blood coating her hands.

“There’s no exit wound.” She told him finally, standing up. “We have to get him out of here.”

Bucky watched as Sam groaned, still lying on the ground, with his hand putting pressure on his shoulder.

“So, what?” Bucky asked her. “We take him to a hospital?”

Nat shook her head. “We weren’t supposed to be here. If we take him to a hospital now... they’ll find out.” She turned back to Sam. “Feel good enough to walk?” She asked him.

“I don’t know.” Sam said. “How far are we going?”

Natasha shrugged, placing her fist underneath her chin, assessing the situation.

“Well,” She told him. “We can’t go to a hospital... but I could try my best in the back of the van.”

At that, Sam pushed himself up onto his elbows with a look of fear in his eyes as he turned to look between Natasha and Bucky.

“You’re joking right?” He grimaced. “There’s nothing else we can do?”

Watching the situation play out before him, Bucky swore to himself knowing what he was about to do and partly regretting the decision before he even made it. As much as Sam could piss him off, he knew better than to let him suffer under Nat attempting to stitch him up. He couldn’t let him go through that when there was a better way.

“Shit.” Bucky shook his head, reaching his hand out to Sam to pull him up. “Fine. I know somewhere we can go.”

Natasha and Sam looked at each other, quirking their eyebrows, questioning how Bucky of all people would know somewhere to go in a situation like this. Not in a position to argue, however, Sam took his hand, standing to his feet.

“So... where are we headed?”

It had been a half an hour long drive before Bucky finally pulled the car over to the side of the road outside of an apartment building. Natasha and Sam followed his lead as he walked inside, up the stairs and unlocked one of the doors with his set of keys. 

Hearing the key turning in the lock and commotion outside your apartment door, you spun around from your seat on the couch watching as you boyfriend, Bucky walked in the door of your shared apartment.

“You were gone for so long you almost had me wor-”

Before you could finish your sentence you watched as none other than Sam Wilson and Natasha Romanoff made their way through the door of your apartment. Although you had never been introduced, you recognized them immediately as members of the famous group of Avengers and coworkers of your boyfriend.

You sprung up from your seat immediately upon seeing these unfamiliar familiar faces. That’s when you noticed the blood coating the upper half of Sam’s suit and Natasha’s hands. Your eyes shot open wide, turning to face Bucky.

“James?” You said his name slowly.

“He got shot. There was nowhere else we could go, Y/n.” He told you. “You can fix it right?”

You made your way around the couch, rushing to Sam’s side and guiding him to sit on the cushions, continuing your conversation with Bucky all the while.

“I work in the maternity ward, Buck.” You reminded him.

Sam’s mouth dropped and Natasha, still standing in the doorway watched the conversation playing out between you and Bucky, still unsure of who you were.

Sam angled his neck to face Bucky from his seat on the couch. “You took me to a gynecologist?”

“She’s a doctor!” Bucky shouted at Sam, gesturing wildly with his hands.

“A maternity doctor!” Sam shouted back. “Do I look like-”

“If you don't want her help then-”

“Stop it!” You shouted, breaking up the useless, unnecessary conversation between the two men. They both went silent at the sound of your raised voice, turning back to face you. “Buck, go get my kit from the bathroom, okay?”

He quickly nodded, heading out of the room. As he did, you turned to Natasha who was still standing in the doorway.

“We need to get this suit off. I can’t work through it.”

She nodded, making her way across the living room, kneeling in front of Sam. Pulling a knife out of the holster at the side of her leg, she began slicing through the shoulder of his suit so that the two of you could take it off without raising his arms, affecting the wound.

When Bucky strolled back into the room, carrying your kit in his hands, Sam turned to him while Natasha continued to slice at his suit.

“So... how come she gets to call you ‘Buck’ and I can't?” He asked.

You smiled as you opened the kit, pulled gloves over your hands and set up your materials at your side. Slipping the jacket off of his shoulders, Bucky replied.

“Because she’s my girlfriend.”

A silence hung in the room for a moment as Natasha and Sam took their time to process the words that had just come out of Bucky’s mouth. It was almost impossible for them to comprehend that he had a life outside of the business they got into or that he could care for someone in such a way. The idea of someone like Bucky living out a domestic life in his free time was unbelievable.

“Wait your... but you...” Sam stumbled through his words, turning to look between you and the grumpy, 106 year-old man he had gotten to know over the past few years. Finally he broke into a smile, chuckling. “No way.”

You laughed, grabbing a seat from your dining table and pulling it up to Sam, plopping yourself down in it. Pulling your tray of materials towards him, you smiled. “Yes way. Good to know he’s mentioned me.”

You looked over your shoulder and winked at your boyfriend who was leaning against the wall behind you, his arms crossed.

“I’m just protecting you, doll.” He smirked. “You know that.”

Natasha tore off the last piece of the suit, stepping away from Sam, sinking herself into a nearby armchair.

“Gross.” She commented at the sound of the pet name Bucky held for you.

Laughing at her comment, you leaned forward, a cotton swab with numbing jelly in your hand. 

“I know, baby. I’m just messing with you.” You told your boyfriend before turning your attention back to Sam. When you noticed him eyeing you warily, you said. “You can trust me. I may work in the maternity ward, but I know what I’m doing.”

He then nodded and watched as you pressed the swab against his shoulder holding it in place. As you continued applying a light pressure, Sam finally took in your surroundings, now noticing the framed photos scattered along the walls and surfaces of you and Bucky, of Bucky and Steve from back in the day and of you and- who Sam assumed were- your friends. He didn’t know how he didn’t see all of them when he first came in, being able to realize that you and Bucky shared the space as a home.

“How did you even lock this down?” Sam asked, glancing up towards Bucky.

Natasha, kicking back in her seat laughed. “Rogers always said you were ‘quite the ladies’s man’ back in the good ol’ days, Barnes. Who knew you still had it in you?”

Rather than play into their game, Bucky rolled his eyes, sitting down on the coffee table, grumbling to himself.

Sam turned back towards you. “So what did it?”

You glanced at your wrist watch, pulling the swab off of Sam’s shoulder, tossing it to your side and instead picking up what Sam thought to have looked like a sort of tweezer as he watched.

“What do you mean?” You asked, a light smile playing on your lips.

You knew this conversation was making your boyfriend want to kick everyone out of your shared appointment and that the only thing stopping him was that you were currently taking a bullet out of one of their shoulders.

“Like what did it, you know?” Sam asked, laughing. “Was it the staring? It was the staring wasn't it? He stares all the god damn time. It pisses me right off.”

You grinned, continuing the conversation as you slipped the tweezer into Sam’s bullet wound, hoping to distract him. Once you pulled the bullet out successfully and dropped it onto the table besides you, you grabbed the materials to stitch the hole closed.

“He does stare a lot, doesn’t he?” You laughed. “You’re right though actually. I caught him staring at me at a bar and slipped him my number. I figured he was too nervous to ask for it. That was what? Two years ago now?" You asked, looking over your shoulder at your boyfriend.

"Yeah something like that." Bucky replied, nonchalantly.

He was trying to act casual in front of his friends. That night was two years and three months ago to the day and he knew it when you asked. Bucky Barnes wished he could forget about a lot of things in his extended lifetime, but until the day he dies he swore to himself he would never forget the night he met you. Seeing you sitting across the bar from him changed his life for the better and he never wanted that to end. So much so that little did you know that he had bought a ring for you six months ago with the help of his best friend and most trusted confidant, but until the right moment arises it continues to sit in his locked safe in your shared bedroom.

“God, man, I can’t believe you kept this a secret for that long!” Sam exclaimed before cringing as he watched you slip the needle into his skin. “And to think- I thought we were friends.”

Your boyfriend rolled his eyes. “We’re coworkers.”

“You know what? That hurt.” Sam shook his head, pausing, before turning back to Natasha. “You’re pretty quiet. This antique has had a secret girlfriend for two years and you’ve got nothing to say?”

At his comment, Natasha stopped staring at the pictures on the wall, instead turning back to the group.

“Two years huh?” She asked. “That means Rogers knew didn’t he?”

Suddenly Bucky was very interested in staring at his hands as a silence washed over the room. You knew Steve leaving to travel back to the past a few months ago was still a sensitive subject for your boyfriend. Despite the fact that the other Avengers- or former Avengers- knew nothing of your existence, you had met Steve more times than you could count and you knew how important his friendship was to Bucky.

“Uh... yeah.” Bucky answered finally, clearing his throat.

Saving your boyfriend from the awkward conversation surrounding a touchy subject, you finished the last of your stitches on Sam, leaning back in your seat,  pulling off your gloves and dropping the materials at your side.

“There!” You announced. “All done! Just try not to move that spot too much for the next few weeks, okay?”

“That’s easier said than done.” Sam said, smiling, glancing at his stitched up wound. “Not everyone just has a metal arm that can do the job for them.”

You laughed, maneuvering your way around the couch and into the kitchen to rinse the remainders of blood from your hands in the sink. As the warm water ran on top of your hands, you felt the unmistakable cold touch of vibranium wrap around your waist. As you scrubbed your hands in the sink, a hint of a smile gracing your face, you felt your boyfriend’s other hand tuck the piece of hair that had fallen into your face behind your ear.

“Thanks for doing that. I know I put you in a weird spot.” He almost whispered, leaving a light kiss on your cheek.

You heard the sound of Sam laughing at something Natasha had just said in the other room and shrugged.

“You don’t have to thank me, Buck.” You said. “Honestly... I kind of liked it. Not that Sam was shot or anything obviously- that’s awful and it’s terrifying that if it were somewhere else he could’ve died- but it’s good to feel... I don’t know... needed like that.”

You turned off the faucet and the second you did, your boyfriend handed you the towel, unwrapping his arm from around your waist and stepping back to look at you.

“But you are needed?” He said, leaning on the countertop. “I wouldn’t be able to do any of this or anything without you.”

You shrugged again, drying your hands.

“I know, Bucky. That’s not...” You sighed. “That’s not what I mean. I don’t know... it just kind of feels... cool.”

“Cool?” He asked, quirking his eyebrows and grinning at you while he said it.

You groaned.

“Yes! It made me feel cool!” You said, throwing the rag on the counter. “You guys are legitimate superheroes. All of you live like you’re in some action movie most days so yeah- it made me feel kind of cool to be included. Maybe you don’t notice it after all this time, but it felt exciting to me.”

He flashed you a smile, pushing himself off of the counter to rest his hands on your waist.

“So, you like heroes, huh?” He asked, clearly teasing you.

Although he was flirting by attempting to tease you for what you had just said, he admittedly felt his heart fill a bit more knowing that you thought of him as a hero.

You smiled, pulling on the dog tags that hung around his neck, teasing him right back.

“No, but I do like 106-year-old grumpy old men who have me stitch up their superhero friends.”

“I’m not grumpy.” He pouted.

“The first step is acceptance, babe.” You fake pouted, stepping back from his arms and lightly tapping him on the cheek. “Now go ask your superhero friends if they want anything to drink.”

Just as you finished your sentence you heard a shout from the other room.

“I’ll have a water if you don’t mind!”

At the sound of his voice you and Bucky turned towards each other, eyes wide.

“Were you eavesdropping?” Bucky called from the kitchen back to Sam who was sat in the living room, separated by a wall.

“Thin walls!” Sam called.

“I’d hate to be your neighbors!” Natasha added.

As tough as your boyfriend was, you watched as he became flustered, knowing the others had just heard him flirting with you in the kitchen. You laughed, patting him on the shoulder before grabbing two waters from the fridge and making your way back into the living room, handing one to each of your uninvited guests. Bucky followed behind you as you plopped yourself back down on the couch watching a conversation between Natasha, Bucky and Sam unfold.

While Bucky and Sam had a harmless argument about the mission they had just been on, you felt a soft pat on your arm and turned to see Nat facing you.

“About what you said in the kitchen-” She began.

Remembering what you had told Bucky in the kitchen minutes before about them being movie-like superheroes, you grew embarrassed.

“Oh God! I’m sorry. You really don’t have to mention it-” You said, cutting her off.

“No, seriously.” She told you. “For what it’s worth, I wouldn’t have been able to fix him up like that. It was nice to have you there.”

As badly as you wanted to play it cool in front of her, you couldn’t help but smile. As embarrassing as you thought it was for them to hear everything you told your boyfriend in confidence, you meant every word you had said and it meant a lot for Natasha to acknowledge you in such a way.

“Thanks. That means a lot.” You smiled.

When you turned back in your seat, you noticed that the conversation between Sam and Bucky had ended and that they both were turned towards you and Natasha.

“Yeah, thanks for that, Y/n. I think I would have rather bled out then let her fix it.” Sam added and Natasha scoffed. “Hey, now that we know you exist we could use you! It’d be nice to have someone keep this robot in check.” He shrugged at your boyfriend.

Whether it was because he was genuinely enjoying himself or it was just because he was beside you, Bucky chuckled at Sam’s comment, stretching his arm over your shoulders as the two of you sat on the couch chatting with the two of them.

“I’d like that.” You laughed, leaning comfortably into your boyfriend. “Oh! Does that mean I can get a metal arm too-”

Before you could even finish your sentence, your boyfriend cut you off.

“Absolutely not.”

[scarlettriot]

Along for the Ride PT 1

Pairing: KirishimaxF!Reader

Summary: A drunken mistake had you marking the little Plus One box to your snobby cousin's wedding. Kirishima told you not to worry, if you couldn't find a date, he'd go with you. When the wedding gets moved up, there's absolutely no time to find a date and you're now about to be traveling to America with Kirishima on a private jet no less, dreading having him meet your rude and impossibly arrogant family.

Contains: Kirishima and Reader both come from very well-off families. Plus-Sized Reader. Fluff. Hurt/Comfort.

Warnings: Kinda smutty for a minute. Minors DNI. Drunken Sex. TW: Manipulative Family Relationships. TW: Body Image Issues

A/N: This story has been rolling around in my head for a while now. I might rewrite this and repost. Or I might just post the whole thing soon. I dunno yet. It does get smuttier.

Word Count: 4,974

"What's up with Y/N?"

Eijiro stepped out of the locker room with a towel slung over his shoulder and made his way into the kitchenette where Mina was chugging a bottle of water before getting back to her patrol. His eyes were trained on their mutual friend out on the patio, pacing.

You had your phone pressed to your ear, the high neck of your hero costume unzipped to your collarbone and he noticed your gloves discarded on a chair.

"No clue." Mina shrugged. "She got back from patrol and she noticed a bunch of missed calls from her mom. She's been out there, flailing on the phone for the last fifteen minutes now."

The three of you had met in your second year at UA when you transferred into their class and were quickly accepted by their little squad of friends. You were a bit quiet at first but quickly found comfort in the group. Eijiro had grown especially close to you when you both interned with Fat Gum.

Late nights traveling on the train back to school, a few close calls while helping patrol, and days spent playing cards while you both healed up in the hospital left plenty of time for Eijiro to get to know you better than most. It was how he knew you had a pretty bad relationship with your family, why you hated returning home for the holidays almost as much as you hated any and all forms of tomatoes.

He considered going out there just to see if there was anything he could do but before he had the chance, you were sliding the glass door open. "Oh, good, you're back." He offered you a bottle of water for your throat that he assumed was sore after that argument. "I- um- can I borrow you for a second? Alone?"

Mina snorted a laugh. "If you guys wanna bang it out on the counter you can just say so. I gotta go to work anyways."

Eijiro threw the towel at her as she left the room leaving you two alone. "What's goin' on?"

You hoisted yourself up on the countertop while he leaned against the fridge. "You remember my cousin's wedding that's happening this winter?"

He nodded. He vividly remembered the both of you getting waste a few weeks ago when you were filling out the RSVP and accidentally marking 'plus one'. Then you ran around trying to find White Out but he'd told you if you didn't find a date or have a significant other by the time of the wedding, he'd just go with you.

You argued that your family was bat shit crazy, had more money than they could spend in their lifetime and because of that, they were among some of the rudest people you knew, and you didn't want Eijiro or anyone else around that.

The thing was, Eijiro already knew that and was still okay with going. He came from money too. A lot of it. His family was just more welcoming than yours, the wealth never really going to their heads. But, he reminded you that he'd ran into enough people like those in your family that he knew how to handle them. You finally agreed to let him accompany you, leaving the plus one box checked but the name line blank.

"Well, my cousin just found out that surprise, she's pregnant! And, obviously, she can't have a wedding while seven months along so they've decided to move the wedding up to this weekend."

He nearly choked on his own spit. "This weekend? As in four days from now?"

"Yup! Saturday at 4 in the evening. Oh! No one's supposed to know she's pregnant either. So, I'm just supposed to compliment her on how flattering her dress looks, how thin she is," Your hands strangled the water bottle between them, "And I have to find something flattering to my figure because my mother has seen me in my hero outfit and she's so glad I wear a mask because if anyone knew her daughter ran around looking like I do, well, it'd ruin her!"

You massaged your temples circling back to the actual point, "Anyways, I just wanted to bitch for a sec and let you know you're off the hook since four days is just a little short notice and I told her my plus one wouldn't be able to get the time off that fast."

He pushed off the fridge. "Well, wait, hang on! I'm not letting you go in alone to deal with them! Hell no! You need backup!" You looked almost taken aback by his abruptness, "Yeah. I can work this out. Is the wedding at the same place it was supposed to be or has it moved?"

"No, it's still that fancy lodge in California. I was planning on leaving Friday morning and then coming back either Sunday night or Monday morning since my mother insists I go to their brunch the following day. But, Eijiro, I already have this weekend off..."

"Denki owes me a favor or twelve. He's supposed to be off this weekend too, I'll just see if he can cover me."

"And if he can't?"

"Then..." He pressed the back of his hand to his forehead, "Y/N, am I feeling warm to you? I think I might be starting a fever!"

You folded your arms, shaking your head, "Thought you said lying isn't manly."

"Technically, correct. But, what would be real unmanly is for me to let you deal with your family's bullshit all alone." You watched him closely, "To be honest, I'm sure we could just explain you had a family thing come up and asked me to come along for moral support. I don't really think anyone would think twice about it. Hell, you took a few days off to console me when my turtle died suddenly!"

"Eiji, you refused to eat."

"And you brought me my favorite dumplings! Same thing!"

You might have shaken your head at him but your arms opened wide. The telltale sign you wanted affection. He walked forward, consuming you in a tight hug. Your arms latched around his neck, face buried in the hollow of his throat. "You're the best."

"I just do what I can."

>>><<<

You should have canceled. Instead of Eijiro faking sick to get out of work, you should have faked it with your mother so you didn't have to go in the first place. You crumpled to the floor of your bedroom in pure frustration amidst the twenty or so outfits and dozen pairs of shoes you'd thrown out of your closet trying to find something that your mother would deem appropriate.

It wasn't your fault you had a fuller figure. You worked out, ate right, not to mention your job kept you very active, and yet your, hips, ass, and breasts were by no means subtle.

Your mother had also insisted on the dress being floor-length and modern, "Do try not wearing all black. It's a wedding, not a funeral. And, get your hair looking natural, please." And, just like that, 70% of your wardrobe was out the window!

"It's open!" You called from the floor when the doorbell rang.

"You really should lock this." Mina tutted, walking through the door with a bag full of takeout.

"I do. At night."

"Honey, it's 9 PM."

"Night like bedtime."

Mina just rolled her eyes and walked into your tiny kitchen. "I see the dress hunt is going well."

"I actually figured it out!" You got off the floor, careful not to step on a heel as you made your way to the pink haired woman, "I'm just gonna go in my birthday suit. I figured, my mother made my body technically therefore she can't disapprove of it. Because, you know, she's never done anything wrong in her life!"

Your best friend snorted out a laugh and passed you the take-out container stuffed full of stir fry. "you're a wonderful person, you know that?" You loved the fact Mina didn't even have to ask what you wanted.

"If you'd just move closer to work then you could pick it up yourself and I wouldn't have to bring it to you."

"Too expensive." You declared after a mouthful. "You pay almost twice as much as I do per month and I just don't see the point. I have damn near the same amount of space you do for half the cost!"

You adored your small one-bedroom apartment. It was perfect. Right above a bakery that you visited each morning after your run and a little balcony that provided you with the most stunning view of the sunset.

"You and Kiri, I swear." Mina just shook her head and curled up with her food on the loveseat. "I thought he'd end up with the biggest house out of us all the moment we started making that real Pro money. You've seen his parent's house. It's massive! You could get lost in that place!"

Eijiro's place was barely bigger than your own. He lived in the same condo he had since you'd graduated UA, claiming it was perfect for him in each and every way. But, you knew that he donated a sizable amount of his paycheck every month to charities, the same as you. With savings to spare, neither of you saw the point in hoarding it and therefore the small condo was all he could afford with what he actually kept.

"Just don't understand how a guy that big can live in such a tiny little space. At least with you, it's you know, physically feasible."

Eijiro's bedroom was barely large enough to fit the king-sized bed the man needed to sleep comfortably and even then, his feet were dangerously close to dangling off the bed. And, as if the man's ears were burning, your cell phone went off under a pile of discarded shoes.

Shark-E: Figured out your dress situation? If not, I'm just gonna pack like ten different ties and hope for the best.

You: Yeah! I totally did! I'm just gonna wear this birthday suit I got and call it a night.

You chuckled at your own joke all over again. Watching the grey ellipses appear and then vanish, appear and vanish again. After a third time, you took pity on the man.

You: Joking, Ei. I still don't have it figured out but Mina's over so, hopefully, she can help.

Shark-E: Gonna give me a damn heart attack! Seriously, I wouldn't put it past you just to see the look on your mom's face. Tell Mina hi and good luck to you. I vote the dress from the Hero Gala two years ago.

You: Hi from Mina. Can't. Too much boobs.

Shark-E: You take that back right now! There is NEVER such a thing as too much boobs!

You chuckled to yourself, putting your phone down, and then finished off the last of your delicious dinner, thinking about the dress Eijiro mentioned.

You wondered if maybe there was a way you could make the thing work but it was so very low cut. So much tape had been used to make sure no slips happened but damn was it worth it! The beaded bodice with the sparkling long sleeves, gods, how you loved that dress.

"I'm inclined to agree with our shark boy. You're busty, who gives a damn. You looked hot as hell in that dress."

"My mother, that's who. As much as I'd like to not give a flying fuck what she thinks, for some dumb reason, I do. On top of her telling me that the amount of cleavage I would show would be vastly inappropriate for a wedding, she'd also say the way it hugs my hips makes them look too fat."

Mina rolled her eyes. "She's such a piece of work." Pushing herself up, she held her arms out to you, wiggling little pink fingers for you to take. "Come on then. Let's get you sorted."

"What about that one you wore to the charity art thingy with Kyoka last winter? The one with the silver top."

"Silver is too close to white." You called out from within your closet.

"What! Not true!"

"You know that. I know that. Every person with two brain cells knows that, which is why most of my family does not know that."

"Fine..." She whined and started sifting through the opposite end of your closet. "Oh, what about this?" Mina waved about the blue and green plaid skirt that made up your uniform from your middle school days when you lived in America. "Please try this on. I'm begging!"

You were pretty sure it wouldn't even go over your thighs anymore.

"It's got a better chance of fitting you!"

Mina threw it at you anyway. Slipping off the sweats you wore, somehow, someway, you were able to tug it on AND get it zipped, barely. It no longer covered your ass but you still enjoyed the way it swished around when you wiggled your hips.

"You could be fulfilling so many people's fantasies right now." Mina mused.

You pulled the skirt off and sweats back on, throwing the former back at her. "Yeah, you can take it and go fulfill Hanta's fantasies if you like. Not like I've got anyone to impress." You pulled down a dress you bought on sale a year ago but Mina was quick to dismiss it.

Too puffy, she said and then held up one that was from Momo. "I needed to get it shortened and I don't have time for that now."

"Wait..." She hummed and dropped the Momo dress. "I know what it should be!"

Mina hurried through the closet, grumbling about not finding it. "Just tell me which dress and I can tell you where it's at."

"It's that one you got for grad night and then you got sick and couldn't go!"

"Mina, Mina I can't wear that! That's actual vintage, not like, made-to-look-vintage!"

"But it's so elegant and has that off-the-shoulder sleeve thing. The wedding is at a damn sky lodge! It'll look so pretty in the snow! Ah! Found it!"

She yanked up the long, elegant gown from the garment bag you'd never removed it from. There wasn't a single wrinkle in the burgundy fabric. It looked just as beautiful as the day you found it in that second-hand store, on a mannequin with gaudy stage jewels that you just had to buy so the look was complete.

You ran the back of your hand over the velvety fabric, soft to the touch. "It'll be too tight now. If I was the same size I was at graduation-"

"Bullshit!" Mina cut you off with a dismissive hand, "You've got hips now. We aren't 18 anymore! It's not like it's some clubbing dress. And I bet no one would say a damn thing about your figure if they knew how easily you could crush them with those thighs!"

A smirk tugged at the corner of your lips. Without quirks, you gave every single one of your classmates a run for their money in hand to hand. Most were fairly easy to beat. You could usually take down Eijiro in about five or six minutes and Katsuki in half the time. Funny enough, it was Ochaco that gave you the hardest time.

"I'll consider it. But help me find something else just in case."

>>><<<

It was another two hours before you finally agreed on an a-line, empire waist green and gold number that had been the bridesmaid's dresses for Tetsutetsu's wedding. Mina thought they were a crime the first time they had to wear them, she had no idea what you were thinking.

That's why the moment you were preoccupied with trying to find yet another dress for the Sunday brunch, Mina pulled out her phone.

You: DO NOT, under any circumstances, allow Y/N to wear the green dress. She's bringing two because she can't decide. Red is the winner!

Jaws: Aw, come on. If she likes it, let her wear whatever she's comfortable in. She'll be under enough stress already.

You: Kirishima, it's the dress from Tetsu's wedding. The one that looks sparkly baby food.

It took him a second to respond.

Jaws: Alright. Understood. I thought you guys looked good but damn, she hated that dress.

You: We all did.

Mina looked at the message chain again and couldn't help but asked, "Are we just gonna ignore the fact that you and Eiji are flying all the way to America, last minute, to attend a wedding together, even though you're not together?"

"We've flown to the states before."

"For work!" She sat up eagerly. "This is different, Y/N! This is a date and not just a, like, casual date but a wedding date!"

You poked your head out of the closet. "No, it isn't. This is a friend helping another friend who stupidly mismarked an RSVP." You corrected very plainly but Mina wasn't one to give up so easily.

She whined, dragging out your name, "You guys have been doing this thing for ages. Why do you have to be so stubborn about it all!"

"What's that supposed to mean!"

Mina started ticking off points on her fingers. "He was the first person you opened up to at UA. You saved his life when he was busy saving Katsuki's life second year. You spent all that time interning together, became sidekicks together. Went to America together for three whole months, ALONE, and you honestly expect me to think there's nothing between the two of you!"

The truth of it all was simple really; 17 year old you had a massive crush on Eijiro Kirishima. He was sweet, always listening to you, providing comfort when you needed it, and always encouraging you to push your limits. He was bright and honest, a little slow in the head from time to time but that made him all the more endearing.

He was also head over heels in love with Katsuki Bakugo.

It was why you never made a move. Never spoke a word of the feelings you harbored. You didn't dare to cross that line with him because you couldn't ever hold a candle to the explosive man.

In the three years Eijiro and Katsuki spent together, your brain finally started registering Eijiro as just a friend, nothing more, and certainly nothing less. You thought your heart had followed suit but it was becoming more and more apparent that wasn't the case. Because the night he showed up at your door, tears in his ruby eyes, every lock you put on your heart broke open.

The same way you couldn't hold a candle to Katsuki, Eijiro couldn't hold one to Izuku. You knew exactly what he was feeling even if you never intended to tell him. Too overcome with fear. If Katsuki came back... that'd be it. Eijiro would go back and you wouldn't even blame him!

Still, the redhead consumed a decent chunk of your heart though, you couldn't deny that after the three months you spent together in America, gathering intel on a smuggling ring, living in the same apartment. The groggy, 'good mornings' when his voice was still scratchy with sleep, hair falling in his eyes. The late nights bandaging wounds and killing cheap bottles of wine while watching terrible American reality shows.

It was those bottles of wine that did you in on your second to last night in America. Supplying you with courage and draining your sense of reason, allowing you to crawl onto his lap, into his arms. You could still remember the pressure of his lips on yours, those sharp teeth gently dragging along your lower lip.

Scared hands tracing the curve of your ass before taking handfuls to squeeze. The laugh that came from you was unlike anything you heard before, something so genuine that you couldn't reproduce.

How it felt when he lifted you up and took you to his bed, laying you down taking his time removing your clothes, and watching with awe as you pulled away his own. The way he looked over top of you, his hair a curtain of red around you just before you closed your eyes, gasping while he filled you.

You also remembered the guilt that crept into your head during the wee hours of the morning, the doubt that was louder than the snores coming from behind you.

It made you slip from under his massive arm, gather up your clothes from his floor, you tucked the blanket around him, and pressed a kiss to his temple before padding out of the room.

You told yourself you'd talk to him about it if he brought it up, but he never did. Not the next morning, or night, not on the plane ride back home, nor anytime since. It was a memory you'd hold close to your heart, one you wouldn't let slip away or share.

"There's nothing there, Mina. We're just good friends is all." You lied with a smile on your face, something that had become surprisingly easy to do.

If only you knew that Mina saw right through it. That Mina already knew the truth of it all.

>>><<<

It was nearly one in the morning when your phone rang. The goofy picture of Eijiro with face half painted at a festival a few years back never failed to make you grin.

"It's a little late." You answered by way of greeting.

"Don't pretend like you were anywhere close to sleeping, you little night owl."

Chuckling at the nickname that had followed you since high school, "What's up, Eiji?"

"I was going over flights. You said in the office that you wanted to leave on Friday?"

"Yeah. I have patrol tomorrow and I didn't find any flights after 6 PM so, Friday is the earliest."

He was quiet on the other line for a moment. "Yeah, you don't have patrol tomorrow, or work at all for that matter."

You sat up a bit straighter in bed. "Um, yes I do."

"No, you don't. I called Mina, asked her if you'd mind taking that shift for you and, since she knows what's happening, she agreed the extra day for travel would do you some good. So, she's covering you tomorrow then you're off work until next Wednesday. As for me, thanks to all that overtime I put in when Denki, Kyoka, and Hitoshi got married, the three of them are splitting up my days so I have until Wednesday too."

Eijiro sounded impossibly proud on the other line, you could almost see the smirk on his face. "You've got this all planned out, don't you?"

"And a bag nearly packed. Just need you to tell me what ties to bring."

"Gold, burgundy, and black."

"Thought your mom said no black for you?"

"She said no black for the wedding. She said nothing about black at the brunch!"

You couldn't wait to put on the tea-length dress that had been a favorite for years. Satin with a lacy top and, best of all, pockets.

He let out a rumbling laugh that fell off into comfortable silence as you laid back in your bed, lights still on, the room still a mess. You tapped the speaker icon and laid the phone on the pillow right beside your head, listing to the various sounds of Eijiro moving around.

A door creaking open, a hanger clattering against another, and a zipper. "And just like that, I'm all set."

"Don't forget your passport or hero license."

"I have one in my wallet and the other in my backpack."

You swiped up on your iPad, off Netflix, and going to google, lazily searching through flights. "So, did you find any good flights since you've clearly been looking?"

Another chuckle, "Eijiro, why are you laughing?" More stifled giggles had you sitting up in bed again. "Just tell me a site you were on. They're just flights, what's so funny?"

"There isn't a site."

"You said you were checking flights."

"And I was... on my family's jet."

"Eiji! No! No, no, no! That is supposed to be for their business or hero things! My stupid cousin's wedding is neither of those things!"

"Relax, Y/N. My family has multiple and they don't have any business trips planned right now anyways. I already cleared it with my mom. Seriously, I just mention your name and she's likely to let me have it for a whole year at least. Plus Todoroki's is back up in working order so the agency is covered too."

Damn, why'd he have to be so good at planning from time to time! You'd completely forgotten about the second jet his family had. Always opting for the larger one since the few missions they needed it for required them to bring fifty or so heroes along.

"Besides, if we fly private, we can land at an airstrip closer to the venue and won't need to drive four hours on top of a ten-hour flight."

"Alright, okay, thank you but, let me take care of the rental car, please. It's the least you can let me do."

"Deal. I just have one more question for ya."

"What's that?"

"Wanna leave tonight?"

You nearly dropped your damn iPad in shock. "Eijiro! What the fuck has gotten into you! It's the middle of the night!"

"I'm excited!" He boomed, "I haven't had a vacation in months!"

"I hate to break this to you, buddy, but this isn't going to be a vacation. You really shouldn't get your hopes up. This isn't going to be a good time with laughs and fun memories... my family, they just, they aren't those kinds of people."

"But we are." He stated matter-of-factly. "If they want to have sticks up their asses then let them! We'll have a good time on our own, laugh and make fun memories! So, what do you say, Y/N? I can be at your place in fifteen. I just gotta put shoes on and grab my keys..."

"Wait, hang on. Are you forgetting that we need someone to, oh, I dunno, FLY THE PLANE! Actually, we need two someone's, can't forget about a co-pilot!"

He hummed happily and you rubbed your temples. "You, you have a pilot and a co, don't you, Eiji?"

"Mhm! There is a company we use. Two can be at the hanger in an hour and every hour after that. I just have to make the call and get the flight plan approved which will be done before I even get to your house."

There was literally no reason to say no. You had mostly everything packed, nothing you needed to get from the store, all you had to do was put on pants and pack up your hygiene bag and you were ready too. Maybe getting there quicker and getting the whole thing over with would be better than staying home dwelling on everything.

"Better put your shoes on."

The glee in his voice, that was enough to make this whole thing worth it, "I'll see you soon."

>>><<<

Eijiro reached into the backseat and plopped a bag down on your lap the very moment you were buckled in. "Had to make a pit stop." He explained.

"It's after two in the morning, where'd you have to..."

"Just open the bag and don't complain."

You found it filled to the brim with all your favorite snacks.

"I'm sure the plane will have a bunch of snacks we can raid but I know for a fact they don't have these." He held up a pack of cookies and creme flavored pocky that had been his favorite for as long as you'd known him, quickly followed by your favorite flavor too. You also found a massive bag of gummy worms and jolly ranchers.

"So, what you're telling me is our teeth are going to rot by the time we land? Not that I'm complaining."

You ripped open the bag of ranchers knowing that was what he'd go for first and sure enough his hand dove inside just as he pulled away from the curb. You could hear his dangerously sharp teeth biting through the rock candy like it was nothing while you still rolled one around your mouth.

Eijiro asked you about the resort you'd be going to, wondering if you'd been there before or what other stuff you guys could do when you weren't dealing with your family. "I figured we could fly back Monday night or Tuesday morning, you know, just play it by ear in case there was anything else we wanted to do."

More than anything, you wished you could just leech a little bit of that excitement from him. The glimpses of his smile you caught as you drove under the street lights made your heart ache.

"What?" He asked with that wide smile of his. You'd been caught staring, red-handed.

"I, uh, I just don't know what to tell you."

You could see the subtle change of his grin, watch as it softened and his hand came to rest on your thigh. "Hey, it's gonna be fine! And if we run into them while out doing stuff, you can just avoid them or hide behind me!" At least hiding behind Eijiro is an easy thing to do, damn mountain of a man.

His thumb slowly brushed back and forth. "'S gonna be okay. I'll beat 'em up if they're assholes!"

You snickered at his Katsuki impression and let the drone of the radio fill the air around you both. Enjoying the silence the rest of the way to the hanger with Eijiro's hand atop your leg.

[mizutori-heiko]

Mizutori’s bakudeku fanfiction master list [complete works]

Really really good writing by these incredible authors. In no particular order! These are all Top!Bakugou and Bottom!Deku. If A/B/O dynamics then it’s Alpha!Bakugou and Omega!Deku. Yes, I have preferences.

Canon World – until 15k

What The Fuck Did You Just Call Me? by reading_raindrop | 8,303 | Izuku starts calling him Bakugou and it pisses the explosive teen off a lot more than he thought it would.

Oh right, you were a little sh*t by SaysiWrites | 5,653 | When Midoriya Izuku gets hit by an age-reversion Quirk, the last thing anyone expected to find out is that Toddler-Izuku is a little shit. Except for one Bakugou Katsuki, who has seen this phase one too many times already. (Bonus+ the entire Little Sh*t (Kidfic) series)

Do Not Disturb by surveycorpsjean | 10,010 | Apply enough force, and something is bound to break.

And Atlas fell by supercrunch | 15,185 | They move in together, after a while. Katsuki joins Best Jeanist and Izuku trains under Gran Torino. They still take comfort in each other every day, curl up in bed and kiss and talk about how life is going. Their live are tumultuous, after all, what with villains and training and rescuing people every week. It’s nice to have something certain. At the end of a day filled with violence and adrenaline, Izuku knows he can come home to someone concrete. It’s perfect. Being a hero is scary and grueling and uncertain, but this part is just right. And then, one day, a child dies in Izuku’s arms.

be loved by bonnia | 5,403 | The kidnapping incident leaves bakugou traumatised about being touched on the back of his neck, and midoriya decides to take matters into his own hands.

Big Protein by Mysecretfanmoments | 13,683 | Bakugou Katsuki has a thriving hero career, an agent to manage his famous attitude, and absolutely zero romantic interest in anyone. With the exception of his favourite health food joint refusing to expand to his city, his life is pretty damn perfect—so why does a viral video revealing Deku's stash of dirty mags involving him and Deku together turn everything upside-down?

Chocolate cake and resin preserved flowers by Anoksun | 11,396 | Izuku loses his memories. Katsuki struggles not to lose Izuku too.

Twin Stars by theperksofbeinglarissa | 8,435 | When Deku saves a woman's life, her quirk is accidentally activated. Her quirk? She reveals a person's soulmate. A star-shaped mark appears on Midoriya's left arm... and on Bakugou's as well. Kirishima is the only one who knows that Bakugou is Midoriya's soulmate, and Bakugou isn't taking the news very well. Can the twin stars of class 1-A work out their differences and find their happy ending?

Unhealthy Fixations by Thesis | 12,522 | Izuku is an adult who knows better than to crush on his childhood bully. AND YET.

Like the Moon by osakakitty | 14,781 | Katsuki Bakugo is having constant, erotic dreams about Izuku Midoriya. He isn’t sure why, but they won’t go away. In order to make them stop, he needs to figure out what Izuku Midoriya means to him.

Worth a Second Shot by cinnabee | 13,080 | Katsuki and Izuku celebrate registering as a Hero Duo together with a big party. What could go wrong?

Like Something Out of A Shoujo Manga by Merrywetherweather | 2,971 | Deku ends up in a rather interesting quirk accident, one that triggers flag events as if he were the protagonist of an otome game.

Canon World – 15k++

Blood Moon by lalazee | 94,860 | The Thank-Fuck-We-Aren’t-Dead Sex had started then, and had never really stopped. Then came the feelings and the fights. The ego, the pride, the jealousy. And then there was Us.

The Way You Used To Do by edema_ruh | 669,463 | During a battle, Midoriya gets hit by a villain whose quirk detaches his soul from his body. Stuck in a ghost-like state, the boy enters a race against time in order to save himself from permanently dying. Much to his luck - or lack of it -, the only person who can see and talk to him in this state is no one other than Kacchan.

Just Like Breathing by MD_Daydreamer | 35,423 | Izuku got engaged. He didn't mind. If that made Uraraka happy, he could do it. He thought his life wouldn't change much.But then, Kacchan went to live in the USA.

briar roses (and hundred years of sleep) by vannral | 15,951 | In which Izuku is hit by a ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Quirk, Class 3-A tries to find his True Love and get them to kiss him, and Katsuki’s very angry about it all.

"what's your type?" by sapphicflower | 20,192 | In order to increase their popularity rankings as up and coming pro heroes, Izuku and Katsuki participate in the most popular late night talk show for hero duos - ‘Heroes Rising!’. They’re killing it, obviously, because they know each other from inside and out. Until one question stumps the two of them: “What is your hero partner’s type?”

and it was Just Right by cinnabee | 23,759 | Katsuki spends two years post-graduation in a furious one-sided competition with his childhood friend and rival's promotional photos - until they finally run into each other, and, well. You shouldn't believe everything you see in magazines. A love story about size differences.

Notice Me, Nerd by useless_donut | 40,000 | Bakugou is in love with Midoriya. He doesn’t hide it, in fact it’s so painfully obvious that the entire class of 3-A has him figured out in a matter of months (days, in some cases). Too bad Midoriya is the most oblivious motherfucker out there, and Bakugou is too damn stubborn to actually ask him out. A love story as witnessed by the class of 3-A.

in your dreams, nerd! by sapphicflower | 37,639 | In a strange and unexpected set of circumstances, Izuku and Katsuki find themselves sharing their dreams together whenever they happen to fall asleep at the same time. Being hopelessly in love with each other, they don’t mind it all that much. What better way to spend time with your crush than in a stupidly vivid dream?

Hear Me by my_name_is_Levi | 22,419 | It wasn’t as if nightmares were uncommon for the freshman class of Yuuei. They’d seen plenty of things, heard and felt and witnessed enough travesty in their lives to last them a lifetime. But Midoriya Izuku was screaming, and no one, not even Bakugo Katsuki could ignore it.

Bridges by supercrunch | 18,018 | Bakugou is signed up for a Calvin Klein modeling gig. The thing is, they really do need the money. And Katsuki's technically the leader of this bunch of morons, so he finds himself taking the job even though his pride will never recover. And even though nobody thought to tell him that he'd be working with his ex-boyfriend. You know, the cute freckled guy from high school who went and broke his heart. So, yeah. This whole situation kind of sucks.

objective truth by mamalade | 15,390 | Izuku gets hit with a truth quirk, as one does. He seems to be handling it well—until Katsuki shows up.

catharsis by dollcewrites | 15,071 | It's been six years since Izuku graduated.It's been six years since he confessed to his childhood friend; his classmate and his inspiration. It's been six years since he deleted Bakugou's number, asked his friends not to mention the name, spent every last effort of his heart turning off the TV and averting his eyes from the newspapers. It's been six, long, long years since he gave up on Katsuki Bakugou ever loving him back.

Here here, my friends and me (You are my familia) by Jeka | 128,832 | Bakugou Katsuki has made a great job of ignoring the fact that he is tragically in love with Deku, someone who could never love him like that and let's face it, he doesn't deserve. Now that he can't ignore it anymore, he has to find a way to keep his childhood friend and move on for his own sake. Or so he had thought, maybe he can have Deku, after all. Izuku has everything he always wanted in life. But suddenly he has to navigate the most important relationship in his life through different eyes.

Canon World – Jealous! 

Hands Off by SaysiWrites | 7,140 | When a new girl at school starts flirting with Bakugou, his friends quickly become invested in the idea of their friend experiencing love - even if he doesn't seem at all interested in her. What they don't see is Midoriya fuming in the background. But how can he get rid of her when they've spent so long keeping their relationship a secret?

Surfaces by surveycorpsjean | 25,225 | Katsuki has a new girlfriend, but something isn't right. As impossible as it is, Izuku can't help but wonder what it'd be like to be called Katsuki's girl.

Green-Eyed Beast by SecretKiwi | 4,721 | Everyone wants a piece of Katsuki Bakugou, but they should beware of the Green-eyed beast always lurking close behind him.

Green with Envy by Sol_Morales707 | 2,611 | Izuku Midoriya is not as innocent and pure as everyone thinks he is. The truth was he was very jealous and willing to do anything for a certain blonde.

Happy Camper by Arysa | 7,074 | Wanting a break from the stress of dealing with the rookie Pro Hero grind, a handful of students from Class A decide to go on a camping trip. Izuku's excited to relax and catch up with everyone, especially Kacchan. But, well, Kacchan's... Kacchan. And dating Kirishima.

How to stop time: kiss by Teddingtons | 31,693 | Deku finally asks Uraraka out. Everyone's supportive except Bakugou who can't even look him in the eye. Deku seeks him out after and is hit with truth.

What I Deserve by s_the_queen | 16,671 | When Izuku starts dating a student in General Studies, everyone is happy for him. She's super sweet and really caring. But something doesn't sit right with Katsuki.

Deku's Already Fucking Taken by asdfjkl129 | 20,704 | 5 times people don't realize that Deku is already in a very happy relationship and try their hand at asking him out, and then in Bakugou's unique and special style, get very firmly corrected, +1 time where no correction is needed.

His by sister_elric | 6,206 | Izuku would like to consider himself a pretty level headed individual. Sure, he had the occasional tunnel vision, especially when it came to training. And hero work. And Kacchan. But, overall, Midoriya felt as though he typically kept his cool. Well, maybe that was a stretch. But, at the very least he could understand his own emotions. So, it surprised even him when an unfamiliar emotion coursed through him as a first year approached his boyfriend, Katsuki.

Down the Red Line by MinervaHope | 7,804 | Izuku has been able to see the red strings of fate since birth. It's no surprise that his is connected to Katsuki.

Canon World – Fake Relationship Goes Wrong

how he should’ve known (and how it turned out) by vannral | 43,918 | In which Katsuki and Izuku pretend to be a couple to avoid journalists, the plan backfires magnificently because of course it does, and the act goes on. Includes feelings, pining, domestic fluff and jealousy.

Vicious by feelslikefire | 105,173 | Midoriya and Bakugou wind up in the very last position either of them thought they'd be in: Hero Partners. It's not fun, but they learn to cope. Their first big assignment together takes them undercover to infiltrate a cult, but the situation turns out far more sinister than they first thought.

What I can never tell you by Mikacrispy | 27,067 | After living in the US for 5 years, Izuku returns to take care of a concussed Bakugou who believes they're engaged. Now, Izuku has to pretend he's in a relationship with the man he's loved for most of his life, knowing that it's just a matter of time until Katsuki gets better and realizes it's all a lie.

Not-Dating by MiraChaDoodles | 14,290 | Katsuki takes Deku on a not-date to save his career, only to find himself wishing it were real.

we'll do the things that lovers do by ethereals | 29,544 | Izuku gets an invitation to Shouto's wedding and Katsuki is PISSED that he asks Kirishima to be his date (also he wasn't even fucking invited

Canon World – Friends With Benefits (?) 

Four Times Bakugou Katsuki Doesn't Intend to Sleep With Midoriya Izuku (And the One Time that He Does) by fallingraine85 | 17,601 | He hadn’t planned for any of this. He isn’t about to go delving into the ball of yarn that is Midoriya Izuku’s heart; he isn’t equipped to try and untangle and make sense of it all. He isn’t about to try to analyze how he’s feeling about all of this, either.... How many times can you repeat the same mistake?

We Wear Chains on the Weekend by surveycorpsjean | 35,086 | Well, in a day of revelations, it turns out that Izuku isn't as vanilla as Katsuki previously thought. Unfortunately, that fascinating discovery is overshadowed by Izuku's dumbassery, because he has zero concept of aftercare."Don't go to anyone else," Katsuki says, because screw it. He can do a better job anyways. Or; Katsuki finds Izuku on a bad drop.

Just for Now by Shiro_Kabocha | 48,135 | Katsuki's parents are out of town over a school break and to keep him from getting up to any shenanigans, they ask Izuku to house sit with him. What are two teenaged boys to do when left alone to their own devices? (Bonus+ the entire Just for Love series)

safe in the darkness by yoonskisses | 20,855 | Izuku and Katsuki had been meeting up secretly for months, with absolutely no feelings involved. Or so Katsuki thought at least. The dorm gossip about Ochaco and Izuku's new relationship seemed to set a spanner in the works for their arrangement.

Alternative Universe – No Quirks

Bluebird by EtherealBeing | 53,108 | Dialing a wrong number was no unusual occurrence. Everyone did it once in a while, and Katsuki was well aware of that fact. However, possessing this knowledge made it no less aggravating for him to discover — a full two minutes into his rant about his day — that he’d been venting his frustrations to a complete stranger. As if that wasn't enough, said stranger was also inexplicably determined to hear his story to its end.

Someone Borrowed by mynameis152 | 138,996 | It felt like hours that he stared at Izuku, coming to terms with the fact that a man, his childhood best friend, whom he hadn’t seen since their senior year of high school, was there in front of his very eyes. Then his brows furrowed and his jaw clenched before he uttered through gritted teeth the very name Izuku had longed to hear for years. “Deku.”

Dark Side of the Sun by Synnie | 51,598 | Staying up too late playing video games, Kirishima wasn't expecting to get an urgent call begging for help. Next thing he knew, he was letting his classmate Izuku Midoriya take refuge in his apartment - without consulting his always angry roommate.

Manage Me by Justaperson1718 | 10,756 | Izuku becomes Katsuki’s model agent.

Don't Set Your Drink Down by Crandberrycrush | 88,424 | With sudden clarity Izuku realized he had broken the first rule of going out. Never leave your drink unattended.

Livewire by pretty_rekless | 18,160 | Per Ochako's request, Izuku downloads a gay dating app in hopes to finally find a partner. Except every single one of his leads keep ghosting him or standing him up... That is until one hot, fiery blond enters the chat. Grindr/Tinder AU fic.

Drinking Watermelon by warschach | 8,906 | Katsuki works as a camp counselor, and Izuku is a boy made of summer heat and sunlight.

Precious Pet by Mikacrispy | 6,379 | When broke college student Midoriya Izuku found a job that offered lodging, food, and good pay for four hours of work each day, he thought it was too good to be true. But he called anyway. Turns out all he has to do is to be the spoiled little puppy of a rich businessman.

Our Eleven Summers by Dark_Mage_Ayumu | 34,472 | The first time Katsuki met Izuku was when he was eight. For the next eleven years, Izuku changed his life, and no one even knew. Their relationship was something they shared in secret.

sticky note crushes by ladyofsnails | 3,239 | Katsuki hates his roommate. The green-haired, freckled, artsy son of a bitch with his dumb pun t-shirts and paint-stained hands he can’t fucking keep to himself. Katsuki can’t leave a single assignment or paper out in his room because that idiot will just grab anything to draw on it. He’s like a shark that can’t stop swimming else it’ll die – he can’t stop drawing. Ever.

Don't Play Pretend by SweetSide | 10,103 | Actor AU: Deku and Bakugou get the leading roles for an upcoming TV Drama. They weren’t aware that they would be working with each other for who knows how long. It would’ve been completely fine if they weren’t exes.

97.6 FM by jamjars | 32,249 | Izuku can’t stop listening to the radio host with the deep voice who sounds like he’s stuck in 2010. It’s a harmless crush. That is until he starts calling into the show under the pseudonym Deku.

Read {between} Your Lines by greatcloudninja | 52,252 | Midoriya Izuku, up-and-coming actor, has finally hit his big break (...), Bakugou Katsuki, who has been acting for over twenty years.However, Bakugou seems to have it out for Izuku, leading to tension both on and off set. When some incriminating photos surface, the studio suggests (...): having Bakugou and Midoriya fake a relationship to get ahead of the rumors. 

I’m not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts by PassingShadow | 5,522 | Izuku is a professional cuddler and Katsuki is his new client that’s just a little rough around the edges, and needs a natural healing touch.

Alternative Universe – Quirkless Deku

A Good Old-Fashioned Tattoo AU by lalazee | 14,437 | After their paths had split, Bakugou & Deku meet again as adults. While Bakugou begins to repent for the kid he used to be, he also starts to prove himself as he the man he is now.

Call Me a Safe Bet (I'm Betting I'm Not) by WTTTD | 10,803 | He wished he had some sort of heads up before seeing Deku again for the first time after nearly two years, looking like the essence of a lazy Sunday, smiling and surrounded with brand new, adoring friends. It was a little fitting that Katsuki burned for him so badly. (Support Department Deku)

In Which Kacchan Has a Ruff Time by OneshotPrincess | 14,511 | Bakugou Katsuki gets quirked into a dog, gets adopted by an unknowing Izuku and generally has a very rough few days full of realizations

While You Were Sleeping by Belkacaramelka (annabelleg) | 71,197 | The one where quirkless fanboy Midoriya Izuku rescues Pro Hero Todoroki Shouto, gets mistaken as his fiancé while he is in a coma, and gets caught up in the most unlikely fake engagement... until his childhood enemy and Todoroki's classmate Bakugou Katsuki tries to catch him out, and they both end up discovering a lot more about each other than they'd expected.

Let Me Assist You Personally by Seeress | 32,806 | Izuku is long-suffering Personal Assistant to #1 Pro Hero Dynamight.Dynamight can't keep a PA to save his career. They all quit crying after a few days weeks. Enter, Izuku—with enough money problems to brave the jaws of the cranky beast. Childhood friend turned glorified paid slave. Somehow it all works out. ‘Kill them with kindness’, his mom had told him once. If that were true, Bakugou Katsuki would be stone-cold dead by now.

Smile For The Camera by kurokonekokilled | 19,179 | Midnight has a cam site, home to millions of users, but one catches Katsuki's eye when he goes scrolled through it in search for something to help him release a little stress. A live stream and the best orgasm of his life later, his wallet is lighter, and he might be almost as obsessed with this Deku guy as the cam boy is with him.

Just Like The Comics by brichibi | 24,935 | Where Izuku works at a comic book shop because that’s as close to a hero as he’s gonna get, and Katsuki plays the part of heroic ex-boyfriend who is good at everything except winning Izuku back... maybe

Alternative Universe – Quirks

Get on my Level by Mikacrispy | 92,273 | Bakugou Katsuki is a Pro Hero whose boss demands him to take an intern. Midoriya Izuku is a UA student who needs an internship. When the two of them are put together, they learn about what it truly means to be a Hero and what it means to be in love.

A/B/O – Secret! Baby

Home by Emerald2402 | 87,214 | Midoriya Izuku left Japan in a rush, moving to America without a word to anyone else. But then almost 11 years later he arrives back Home and Bakugou Katsuki's Alpha is furious. Fuck that, Bakugou is furious, because Midoriya Izuku, an omega he tasted one time, has been keeping a very big, very blonde haired, green eyed secret.

Those Under the Same Stars by PerpetuallyPerturbed | 325,553 | When Katsuki Bakugo left Izuku Midoriya five years ago, he thought it was for forever. He put aside dreams and wishes of the omega to focus on his career. He was going to be the best hero, after all. He couldn't have an omega getting in his way. So when he's stopped on the streets one day by a pup begging for help for his mom, he isn't prepared to face what he gave up, and what the consequences of his actions were. (Quirkless Deku)

A/B/O – Quirks

Mark Me. Make Me Yours. by decadentbynature | 10,062 | Midoriya is the only Omega at UA and he's been hiding it well but there's one issue that threatens to expose him: his attraction to an Alpha, Bakugo. After being told to give some paperwork to Bakugo, Midoriya lets him into his dorm room and is immediately overwhelmed by his scent. Unable to help himself, he gives in to his urges, only to be discovered by Bakugo but instead of becoming enraged, Bakugo decides to give Midoriya exactly what he wants

Claim Me by ScientificallySinful (VampireGaaraCheesepuffs) | 114,449 | Being an Alpha has nothing to do with Katsuki's success as a Pro-Hero, the same way Deku's Omega status hasn't kept him from becoming Number Two. Secondary gender doesn't mean anything nowadays and “mating” is an antiquated practice. So when Izuku, his rival, asks Katsuki to Claim him in the middle of the night, there is only one logical thing to say. “What the fuck?”

Change of Plans by Mikacrispy | 185,965 | Alpha Pro Hero Bakugou Katsuki never planned to get married to some random omega but what he wants isn't an option anymore. One for All wielder Midoriya Izuku has suffered injustice too many times and doesn't plan in allowing his secondary gender to dictate how he must live his life. Falling in love was never in the plans.

Going Feral For You by ANGIE_fic | 17,977 | Bakugou has an aggression problem that might have to do with his Alpha. His job is on the line because of it. So what do you do with a pent up Alpha? Yes.Rut. (Quirkless Izuku)

i live for you, i long for you by jeonjeonggukkkkkie | 19,165 | The five times Izuku hinted he wants Katsuki to spend his next heat with him, and the one time Katsuki took the hint.

Baby's First Bloom by ContraryBee | 44,945 | Izuku blooms for Katsuki one warm day in their third year of middle school. What follows is both boys learning about themselves, their bond, and the society they live in.

As Fate Would Have It by ScientificallySinful (VampireGaaraCheesepuffs) | 88,737 | Katsuki Bakugo had plenty of reasons why he wasn't mated yet, not that he was going to explain why to just anyone. But now, Ground Zero was running out of time. If he didn't find someone soon, he'd lose his position as a Pro-Hero and he'd never get to be #1. So, when he finds out there's a male Omega recently arrested for prostitution that's headed to prison if he too doesn't get a mate…well it must be fate. (Quirkless Izuku)

A/B/O – No Quirks

Gravity by warschach | 71,477 | Izuku is back in his hometown and plenty hasn't changed much from the 8 years he was gone. Except, Katsuki Bakugou, the alpha king of their small town. He's hotter- because that's fair, right, God? -, stronger, a now-famous pro fighter, and noticeably nicer this round.Not that he cares, pfft. (Fine, he cares.)

Nine Months by greatcloudninja | 23,303 | Omega Midoriya Izuku connects with Alpha Bakugou Katsuki through an online singles ad. Izuku pays Katsuki to help him with his heat, ending up pregnant in the process. What follows is a pregnancy filled with ups and downs, but whatever hurdles come their way, they can make it through together.

The long dark by Ominous-Anonymous (Ominonymous) | 13,289 | He could have been really dangerous. He could be a fucking murderer for all he knew. But Izuku Midoriya, ever the reckless daredevil, was not thinking of that when he got into a car with a complete stranger. Completely ignoring the part where his mother always taught him to never gets into cars with alphas he didn't know...

[tartglias]

Xiao, Zhongli and Venti with an immortal s/o

“Sooo 👀 can i request so some fluff hc for venti, xiao and zhongli with an immortal s/o?”

thank you so much for requesting!! this is my first time writing for more than one character at a time so it was a challenge lol thank you sm!!

Xiao

Xiao never understood the importance of time. Days, months, even years feel like nothing when you’re immortal. What a funny thing that is, immortality. He knows normal humans would do anything for it, and he despises them for that. Nothing so great came free, he knew that well. He was freed from tortures, only to get tormented by karma. He could still hear the voices and screams calling for help from tortured souls, these still haunt him daily. But the worst moments come when he sees that figure, that person who he once considered close. So close he could use the human word “soulmate”, if he believed in those, to describe who that person meant to him.

Many centuries back he met you, such a gentle person who got to break down his hard walls. A smile, a touch, a kiss. That’s all it took. So many meaningless years, and he never once encountered a person as kind yet strong like you. Someone who made the daily nightmares cease, with a simple smile and brush of fingers.

He remembers your last words like it was the day before. You were on top of one of the tall stones in Huaguang Stone Forest, Xiao laying his head on your lap and you placing small qingxin flowers on his hair. He wouldn’t allow anyone do that to him ever, but in the end, you were you. And you were different.

“Xiao” you called, once you were done placing the flowers. He opened his eyes and muttered a “hm?” in response. “I have to leave soon. Mondstadt calls me”

He sat up.

“What do you mean?”

“By tomorrow morning, I’ll be on my way back to Mondstadt” you said, quietly standing up.

He stood up too.

“When will I see you again?” he asked, now not being able to look at you.

“I don’t know” you said, reaching out for his hand and taking it. You placed a soft kiss on his knuckles, and he felt himself calm down at the gesture for a moment.

“I meant it when I said I’ll love you forever, Xiao” you said, finally locking eyes with him. You had teary eyes, he dreaded to see you like that. If it were up to him, he would swallow every bit of pain in your body and soul, just to see you smile.

And with that, you disappeared. As quickly as you broke down his walls, you disappeared just as quick the next day. Days, months and years became even more meaningless, but somehow he felt them longer. He missed you every day, he whispered to the moon every night, wishing that some archon would hear and bring you back to him. He knew you were like him, but he never heard from you again. Were you able to finally cross to the other side? He tried to erase those thoughts from his mind.

He later found himself in that very same stone, the one in which he last saw you. New Qingxin flowers blossomed, and they reminded him of you. He sat down, staring at the horizon. But then, he felt a strange swift of wind, and a presence behind him. He quickly stood up, ready to put his mask on and kill whoever dared to interrupt his solitude. But he didn’t. The mask in his hand dropped to the floor, next to the flowers.

“I’m back” you said, with a shy smile.

“You’re back” he said, more to himself than to you. Were you really there?

His question was soon answered, once you stepped closer and pulled him in a hug. He found himself wrapping his arms around you, holding you as close as he could, while trying to hold back his tears.

“I’m sorry I took so long, my beloved” you said as you locked your eyes with his. You grabbed his hand and held it, but you never once let go of the hug.

“I’m here to stay now” you whispered.

Zhongli

“You need to stop playing with people’s hearts” Zhongli said, as he sipped on his tea and looked at you questioningly. You rolled your eyes in response and put your focus back on your potion. A few petals from the most exotic flower in Teyvat, a little bit of juice made from vines and a teaspoon of slime condensate.

“Sometimes mortals need a little push in the right direction” You said, finishing up the mix and transferring it to a small bottle made of glass. “Plus, we’ve been here for centuries, I’m bored and I need a hobby”

“I don’t think that messing with human’s love lives can be considered a hobby. I don’t think it’s morally correct” he said.

“You’re very dramatic. I can feel the true desires of every being that touches the soil in Teyvat, and if I sense that the desire is mutual, I simply work my magic” You said, sitting back on your chair next to the tall man.

“Can’t you let them figure it out by themselves?” He asked.

“That’s no fun Zhongli” You said, finishing up the sweet perfume-potion you were creating.

You and Zhongli have been friends for centuries. You met when you moved to Liyue as the representative of the Dendro Archon, someone you really looked up to. Zhongli was kind enough to make you feel at home, and soon became friends with the Geo Archon. Though you must admit, you always wished it was something more.

Maybe that’s why you picked up this “hobby” of yours. Unrequited love is something painful and mortals only live a short life, you believe they should live it fully, if possible.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli asked, interrupting your thoughts with a concerned look on his face. You didn’t realize you had a sad look on yours.

“Oh? Yeah of course” You said, quickly brushing it off and proceeding decorating the small glass bottle.

“Y/n-“ he started, placing a hand on top of yours in order to get your attention. “I’ve known you for a long time. I know when something is wrong”

It was funny. He knew you like the back of his hand, he knew how to read you since the first time he laid his eyes on you. Yet he never found out how you truly felt about him, how your heart made like a million flips whenever he did something as simple as hold your hand, or brush a hair away from your face. All these little things and gestures, have been making you swoon over your closest friend for years, centuries even.

“Time and love are strange concepts, aren’t they?” You asked, looking straight at him. Here goes nothing, you thought.

“I believe those are rather simple concepts”

“You can spend a lifetime with someone, know every habit and expression but you don’t know how they truly feel about you” You said staring at him, searching for any hint that indicated he knew what you were talking about. But you saw nothing. Who were you kidding? He’s just your friend, has been for a long time.

You let out a defeated laugh, standing up and letting go of his hand. “Forgive me, I don’t really know what i’m saying” you said, grabbing the potion and starting to leave. But you felt his hand on your wrist, stopping your movements.

“You said you felt the desires of every being that stepped foot on Teyvat’s soil, am I right?” he asked, looking at you. You nodded. “Does it work on me?”

“You wanted to get close to me, as a friend”

“My apologies my dearest y/n, but I think your blessing is wrong” he said, standing up and holding your hand once again. “I did want to get closer to you as a friend at first, but not any longer. I’ve been observing mortals for a while as well, on my daily walks through Liyue Harbor, and I think I finally understood my feelings”

You were sure that if Zhongli listened close enough, he would hear the fast beating of your heart.

“I’ve been waiting for you to use your love potion on me, my dear y/n. I’m sure it wouldn’t have worked anyways since I believe it would take a lot of effort to make an effective potion that could work on me. But it would have given me the excuse to tell you how I really feel” he said.

“How do you feel then?” you asked him, looking up at the tall man.

“I think I’m very lucky to have you by my side, and it makes me want to travel to the Dendro nation and personally thank the Archon for assigning you to Liyue. I also want you to still be by my side for the centuries to come, if you’re okay with that” he said, lowering his voice by the end.

You acted before you could process your thoughts. You stood on your tippy toes and kissed his cheek gently, never letting go of his hand. He liked you, he felt the same way about you. It was real.

“I’m okay with that” you replied.

Venti

It was almost noon, almost an hour after the original time you accorded with Venti to meet. You planned a picnic date by the big tree near the statue of the Seven, your favorite spot. The same spot which later, became Venti’s favorite spot as well.

He wasn’t a person who would jump straight to conclusions. You were late. Maybe you fell asleep, maybe you couldn’t find the guitar you promised to bring so you could play a duet. Being late doesn’t mean something bad happened, right?”

He decided to wait a few more moments, but once the sun set, he had enough. He went out to try and find you. He went to your house, but noticed the door was locked and no one was inside. “They left” he thought.

He slowly but surely started to get desperate. Where were you? Were you hurt? Did you get lost somehow? He went to Angel’s Share, and not even Master Diluc had seen you. If Venti wasn’t in such a panicked state, he would have noticed the rare concerned and worried look Diluc had on his face.

If any traveler walked by literally any road in Mondstadt, they would soon encounter a big rush of wind. Venti went from here to there as fast as he could, trying to find you.

He soon enough found you in Stormbearer Mountains, fighting hilichurls and two pyro mages. You looked tired, sweat covering your body and your clothes were dirty. It was obvious that this has been going on for a while. You gripped your sword as hard as you could, and kept fighting. Why didn’t you call for him? With no exception, Venti tells you daily to call for him if you ever encounter a problem. It’s not that he doesn’t think you’re strong, oh no, he believed you were the strongest mortal in Teyvat. But in the end, to him you were still a mortal. Fragile and over-sensitive. He often told you to call his name, that the wind will carry it and he will appear there to help you out. So why didn’t you?

“y/n!” he screamed, once he laid his eyes on you. You turned around and saw a rush on wind, and felt his presence. What you didn’t feel though, was the pyro attack coming from one of the mages. The mage summoned three pyro artifacts that surrounded you, and burnt you. You felt your energy slip away, your head dizzy and your body burning. Then, you felt the cold wind, Venti quickly finishing off the mages and the remaining hilichurls.

Venti thought it was over. You were kneeled down, burnt skin, gasping for air. It was over, you were going to die. He felt his eyes water and fear running through his veins. He wrapped his arms around you, making you lean on his chest.

“Don’t leave me” he begged. “please”

“My dear, I don’t think I can” you said, letting out a short laugh.

“Please stay strong, I think I can carry you to the cathedral but you need to hold very still so-“ he started saying, now fully crying but you interrupted him by putting a hand on his cheek and wiping his tears with your thumb.

“I’m serious, I don’t think I can leave anyways. Venti, I literally can’t die.” you said, with a laugh and slowly standing up.

“You... you’re immortal?” he asked, looking up at you, not being able to leave the floor.

You nodded. “I thought you knew”

“I hate you” he said, standing up and wiping away his tears. “I do”

“No you don’t. But you’re cute though!” you said, grabbing his face and kissing the tip of his nose. “I’m very sorry I’m late though, my commission took longer than I thought but let me compensate you with dinner and a bottle of wine”

“But you’re still burnt?” he asked you, concern still in his face.

“Oh don’t worry about that, it will rip out when I start walking. I have healthy skin underneath” you said, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Why do I feel like this is not your first time getting so hurt?” he asked letting out a soft chuckle, suddenly feeling lighter now that he knows you’re okay and will probably be okay for a long long while.

“Eh, been there done that a few times” you simply said, taking his hand and walking back to the city of Mondstadt.

[seokth]

the way to your heart

— oneshot ; 4.4k words —

pairing | kim seokjin x female reader

summary | after an unexpected pregnancy, your heart is cautious and weary. after a quarter-life crisis, his heart is lost and searching. will a plate full of hotteok and a blossoming friendship be enough for him to worm his way into yours?

warnings | pregnancy, neighbors au, neighbors to friends to lovers, a good old quarter-life crisis, insecurities, anxiousness, just 2 twenty-somethings navigating their way through adulthood 🥺 ooh btw the 3 past relationships mentioned in month 1 may or may not be tweaked references to my 3 other fics featuring the other members (if you’ve read them and u recognize them here, please let me know!! 😉)

note | this work used to be for another fandom but i rewrote and revamped it to feature our jinnie <3 lemme know what u think!

general masterlist

month 1

You’ve had your fair share of heartbreaks.

There was that cute-faced boy back in middle school who kept giving you rice cakes and held your hand as his plump lips kissed your cheek in the school courtyard. You spent your childhood days strolling along the neighborhood with him before he moved away to pursue a future in dancing, leaving you with nothing to remember him by but the sloppy carvings on a tree in the nearby park bearing your initials and his.

You never went near that tree again.

There was your high school boyfriend who walked you home from school everyday and spoiled the hell out of your parents by dropping off homemade pastries from his family’s own bakery. He kept stuffing your face with your favorite hotteok during little dates at the nearby convenience store before he ended your relationship on graduation day, muttering something about not being able to handle the long distance in college.

Hotteok has never tasted the same since.

Of course, there’s the most recent guy, your boyfriend (or more appropriately, ex-boyfriend) of three years who used to be the first person you saw when you woke up in the morning and the last person you saw before you slept at night. He was everything you ever dreamed of in a partner and his family loved you like their own, until he showed his true colors and broke things off with you when you told him your pregnancy tests all came out positive.

Now, here you are, single, pregnant, and alone.

You’ve had enough heartbreak to last a lifetime. And after the third one where you’re left with a traumatized heart and an unexpected bun in the oven, you swear off romance and vow never to let something as fragile as love to hurt you ever again.

month 2

Seokjin shrugs off his coat, entering his humble abode with slow limbs and a heavy heart.

He’s been feeling a lot of that lately. Heaviness. Slowness. Not to mention, monotony. He doesn’t know why, doesn’t know what could possibly be wrong with his days for him to feel this form of detachment.

He has a nice job in a nice city, a clean apartment in a safe building, and supportive friends and family who are all only one phone call away. Objectively speaking, his life has never been better.

So why is he so uninspired all the time?

Sighing, he hangs his coat on the coat hanger and heads to the kitchen to reheat his takeout dinner. His steps are slow, his movements sluggish. Even the simple act of operating the microwave seems dull and monotonous.

Is this what a quarter-life crisis feels like?

“Yeah, probably,” Yoongi answers his question much later after his pitiful dinner. “I get what you mean. Been feeling kinda lost myself, too.”

“Maybe,” Jin murmurs. “Or maybe I’m just… bored? Fed up with the whole repetitiveness of my daily life?”

“That, too. I told you you should’ve moved in with me and Hobi. Nothing’s ever repetitive in our apartment.”

The older man chuckles. “I guess I should visit more, then. Some company would help get me out of this weird slump.”

month 3

He’s panting by the time he reaches his floor.

Seokjin doesn’t really exercise much. Just a couple of workouts here and there whenever he feels like it. But he read somewhere that exercise helps with stress, slumps, and serotonin levels so he’s started taking the stairs in his apartment building more, foregoing the elevator except for specific instances.

Fishing out his keys, he crosses the small distance from the stairs to his door, whistling as he goes. He's about to unlock his door when he notices something different.

The door right across from his is open and a slight peek inside it shows a bunch of moving boxes and paper bags. He stops whistling, tilting his head to the side in curiosity. It's been a long time since someone occupied that unit.

A random noise from somewhere in the far end of the hallway snaps him out of his thoughts and he quickly enters his own apartment, looking back across his door once more to catch a glimpse of a feminine figure moving around pieces of furniture. He makes a mental note to bring his new next door neighbor a welcoming gift sometime.

month 4

The additional exercise works wonders. Not only is he more energized lately, he has also regained his passion for cooking, foregoing the unhealthy fast food takeouts in favor of the homemade meals he considers his signature dishes.

He's been entirely focused on dealing with his slump, barely having time to get acquainted with his new neighbor, only catching glimpses of her here and there amidst his busy schedule. He never even got around to giving her that welcoming gift he thought about, and doing so now would be embarrassingly a month too late.

Seokjin decides to knock on your door sometime soon, determined to make a good impression and properly welcome you. But for now, he has to finish making this hotteok for himself.

"Okay, here we go," he mumbles to himself, gripping the handle of the frying pan as he prepares to flip the sweet pancake over. "You got this, Seokjin. It all boils down to the flip."

He makes a noise of delight when he successfully flips the pancake without breaking it apart. It isn't until his fourth pancake flipping round that he hears a knock on his door.

"Um… Hi…"

Jin blinks at you, vaguely recognizing you but not quite sure why you're in front of his door.

"Hi."

You give a hesitant smile at his response. "I, uh… I’m your new neighbor. I just moved in around a month ago. Sorry it took me this long to introduce myself," you mumble, biting your lip and alternating between looking at him and at the floor.

He returns your smile, less hesitant than you are. "Don't worry about it. We all have stuff going on. No big deal."

The two of you exchange names and the awkward but necessary introductions (okay, maybe it’s only awkward on your end) before a silence falls upon you. Seokjin isn't sure if you think he’s rude for not immediately inviting you inside. He mentally slaps himself for keeping you outside and he’s about to invite you in when you beat him to it.

"Listen, I— uh…" you trail off, unsure. He didn't even notice you had your hands behind your back all this time until you put them in front of you to reveal an empty plate. He looks at you questioningly until you explain yourself. “I’m sorry this is random but, uh… pregnancy cravings, you know?”

It’s only then that Jin sees your baby bump, not exactly obvious through the baggy shirt you’re wearing, but more noticeable from up close. His mouth drops open for a split second before he closes it again and composes himself.

“I’m really sorry,” you rush out the words in your nervousness. “I’m not usually this shameless… especially since we literally just met but…” You eye the plate in your hands. “I smelled the hotteok you’re cooking and… I was wondering if I could have some?”

You’re unwilling to look him in the eye because you know just how bold you’re being, but you’re also unwilling to go back to your own apartment empty-handed because your cravings are just impossible to ignore. I mean, you’re craving hotteok for crying out loud! Something you swore you’ll never eat again.

Seokjin blinks. Then he bursts out laughing. You’re looking at him all horrified, your hands shaking as they hold your plate, and he realizes you probably think he’s angry at you so he rushes to assure you.

“Sorry for laughing,” he says through chuckles, “it’s just… This is the most wholesome thing to happen to me this whole week.”

“Wholesome?”

“Yeah,” he affirms, taking the plate from your hands. "Y/N, right? Thanks a lot, I kinda needed something like this for the past months."

"Needed what? A pregnant woman asking for snacks?"

"Wholesomeness," he corrects you, shaking his head in amusement as he fills your plate with more pancakes than you expected and hands them to you. “Don’t be so nervous! Of course you can have some.”

With a plate full of hot hotteok and a big dose of Jin’s windshield wiper laugh, you thank him once again and return to your apartment right across his door. Once inside the safety of your home, you put a hand to your heart, willing it to calm down and to not let something as silly as food give you fickle hope.

month 5

Your next encounter with Kim Seokjin happens on a particularly starry night.

You just finished properly settling into your new apartment unit, and now it’s completely furnished and finally cozy. You decide to head out to a nearby bar — not to drink, of course! You’re admittedly tired from all the lifting and moving around, and bars have always provided you with a sense of anonymity and tranquility. You’re after the ambiance, more than anything.

You’re seated on a table at the back when the lights suddenly dim and an all too familiar guy with soft brown hair steps on to the bar’s little makeshift stage. After fiddling around with the mic stand, he brings out his guitar and sits cozily on the wooden stool.

“Hey, everyone. I hope you’re all doing good,” he says softly to the mic, arms resting lightly on the curve of his guitar. “Welcome to Slow Nights, a weekly event here at this bar. Thank you all for coming,” he carries on casually. “My name is Kim Seokjin and I'm gonna be playing a few songs for you tonight.”

So he’s a singer, you muse to yourself. He doesn’t notice you yet and you relax further into your seat. 

“Anyways,” he continues, “my first song tonight is a bit on the sad side…”

His lips keep moving but you can’t hear anything else afterwards. He’s probably talking about the song, or maybe he’s already even singing by now. Whatever it is, you can’t really find it in yourself to concentrate. Especially since his soft brown eyes meet yours.

Pretty, you think before mentally scolding yourself.

If someone asks you about the performance, you won’t have the slightest idea what to answer. In truth, you can’t even remember the lyrics to the songs. All you can think about the whole night is the vague soothing sounds of an acoustic guitar and the thrill of beautiful brown eyes staring right at yours.

And when the night is over, you’re so caught up by those brown eyes on the way home that you don’t register the sound of someone calling for you.

“Hey! Wait up!”

You turn towards the playful voice from behind you, eyes widening to see that it’s none other than Kim Seokjin who interrupts your walk back to your apartment. Blinking a few times, you realize you should’ve seen it coming since you live in the same building. Clearing your throat, you try your hardest not to be flustered. You give him a small smile before gesturing for him to walk beside you. 

You both fall into a comfortable silence, walking side by side with your hands in your pockets while his are fiddling with the straps of his guitar case. He catches your eye a few times when you discreetly try to sneak a glance here and there. He finally breaks the silence with a chuckle. 

“So how was it? The performance, I mean,” he looks at you, a hint of shyness and nervousness gracing his features.

Cute, you think. Again, you mentally slap yourself. 

“Are you seriously asking me that?” you ask him teasingly, looking at him with feigned shock. “You already know you’re good.”

He laughs, happiness flooding his features. Whether such glee is from your positive answer or from the playful way you say it, you don’t know. “Hey, don’t look at me like that! I’m just asking for honest feedback!”

You both laugh, your traitorous heart fluttering with every single step you take. “Really, though, you were great. I didn’t even know you could sing so well.” You give him a smile and you swear you see his eyes twinkle. “Not to mention, you play the guitar so well, too. It almost seems like it’s a part of you…”

“Thank you,” he responds bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck in an attempt to draw attention away from his reddening ears. “I'm honestly more of a piano guy, but my friend taught me all the basic guitar chords. You can technically play any song with those.”

“That’s nice.”

“Do you play?”

“Ha! I wish.”

He’s quiet for a moment. Before…

“I could teach you if you want.”

Now it’s your turn to be quiet, the only sounds you can hear are the pitter-patter of your footsteps and the flickering light of a nearby lamppost. You look at him, eyeing the way the tips of his ears are glaringly red, and to your embarrassment, you feel your cheeks heating up, too.

Apparently, you’re taking too long to respond because Jin quickly says, “I mean, I’m not forcing you! I, uh— I was just offering, and uh, you don’t have to if you don’t want to and—“

“We have to start right away, then.”

 He stops rambling and looks at you questioningly.

 “If you’re gonna be teaching me how to play guitar,” you elaborate, looking down at your feet, ignoring your mental distress at the thought of spending more time with him and potentially becoming closer with him, “we better get started quickly before my belly grows bigger. I hardly think I could play the guitar with a balloon for a stomach.”

Seokjin stares at you for a moment before coming up with some sort of realization and chuckling.

“Of course," he teases you, "wouldn't wanna start our lessons on your third trimester now, would we?"

month 6

Six months.

It’s been six months since you found out you’re pregnant, three months since you moved into your new apartment, two months since you’ve known Seokjin, and around a month since he started teaching you the guitar (which is just code for hanging out, really). It’s only been a mere month since you developed a close friendship with him and, honestly, it’s starting to scare you.

Everything suddenly has some kind of association with him.

From the welcome mat on your front door —

(“Look! It was on sale!”)

— to the sweater he gave you —

(“Trust me! This right here is the latest fashion.”)

— and from the white alpaca plushie on your bed —

(“Isn’t he cute? His name is RJ.”)

— to the cute onesie he bought for your unborn baby.

(“I hope I’m not overstepping. Think of it as an advanced baby shower gift!”)

The connections aren’t limited to just your possessions, too.

The local bar where you saw him sing for the first time becomes your usual hangout place and the bar’s Slow Nights become mandatory nights out after work. The convenience store near your apartment complex becomes home to quick go-to food runs and the rooftop on your building becomes a hangout spot, as well. Even eating kimchi fried rice has a new meaning.

Needless to say, the fast pace scares you. It’s all so overwhelming.

Sure, everything’s fine right now but by the time you give birth, what happens after that? What happens after your baby comes? Will Seokjin stop being your friend now that you have a little human to take care of? Of course, your baby comes first and you’ll never place the burden of responsibility on Jin or any other person if they don’t want it. But you know you’ll definitely miss Jin if he ever decides you have too much baggage.

Or are you overthinking things again? You’re not even in a relationship with the man, and here you are thinking of him with regards to your future. And one month into a friendship isn’t even enough of a time to start talking seriously about the future. God, you can be so overdramatic sometimes.

But still, you know what you have with Jin is special. More often than not, he always expresses excitement over the arrival of your baby, and though he never hinted at anything romantic with you (yet), you’re not blind to the fond and affectionate looks he gives you when he thinks you’re not looking.

You sigh. You know you’re getting ahead of yourself. But you tell yourself it’s better to be anxious now than to be heartbroken later.

Flashes of rice cakes and homemade pastries enter your mind. You think about plump-lipped kisses and afternoon strolls. You think about hotteok dates and graduation day. You think about a three-year relationship and an unexpected pregnancy. You think about being left pregnant, alone, and unwanted.

Hundreds of memories flood your mind and your chest feels tighter. You try to think about something else – anything else – but a single thought remains.

You don’t want another heartbreak. And you most certainly don’t want another lost love.

month 7

A month.

It's been a month since you packed your bags, upped and left your new apartment, and temporarily moved to the smaller one you're staying in right now. It's been a month since your life turned upside down yet again.

But more notably, it's been a month since you left Jin without so much as a goodbye.

“I miss you,” the voice on the other end of the line pleads. It’s the first time in over a month that you finally answer his numerous calls.

“I know,” you sob out, shaking your head as if Seokjin could see your fragile state from the phone. “I miss you, too. So much.”

“Come back. Please.”

Those three simple words – commanding and authoritative yet spoken in a broken, pleading voice – now have you questioning why exactly you put several kilometers between the two of you in the first place. Those three words have you wondering why you even impulsively left.

“Jin, I— I need to think, I—“

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. You’ve already had a month to think. I’m done waiting.” His breaths are frantic now, panting. If you don’t know any better, you’d think he’s currently running. But you never really know better, anyway.

Your heart breaks. It’s irrational and selfish to feel so heartbroken with his words. He’s done waiting, he said. He’s done constantly chasing after you, repeatedly trying to understand you through your insecurities and fears. He’s done with the greedy way you keep stringing him along and maybe, just maybe, you’re done too. You’d give anything to give him what he deserves but something keeps holding you back and maybe he’s finally had enough.

This is it. I finally blew it. It’s over, and it hasn’t even started yet.

Or so you think.

Nothing could have prepared you for the sight of Kim Seokjin on the other side of your front door, wide-eyed and desperate as he stares at you. Nothing could have prepared you for the talk you now know would inevitably happen.

And it does.

“I was scared.”

You and Jin are sitting on the floor of the kitchen, the two of you barefoot, cups of tea in hand as you both lean back against the kitchen drawers. It probably isn’t the most conventional of places but you both chose the floor because the shelves and the kitchen island provide you with a sense of privacy – a sanctuary – while the two of you talk face-to-face for the first time in a month.

“I was scared,” you repeat shakily, wrapping both hands on your mug for some much needed warmth. “I— I thought you’d never want to be in a r-relationship with me. A-And then I kept thinking that even if you did, it would be unfair to you since I’m gonna be h-having this baby and all. So I s-settled on being your friend but then I also kept thinking you’d get tired of our friendship even after the baby comes. And now it all seems silly but…“

You can’t finish. The words all seem to make sense in your mind but when spoken out loud, they just won’t come out the right way.

What’s wrong with me? You think to yourself. Stupid, stupid! Other people don’t make such a big deal about this in their friendships…

“Hey,” he calls out to you like a plea, the brown eyes you love so much are glistening as he looks at you. “I was scared, too... I mean, look at me,” he lets out a sarcastic laugh. “I’m a lonely twenty-something with nothing going on for him. I don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life, and I definitely don’t have the slightest idea how to navigate this quarter-life crisis.”

He pauses for a moment before letting out what seems to be a determined sigh. Seokjin sets his mug down before moving closer to where you’re sitting on the floor. Taking care not to nudge your growing baby bump, he gently lifts his hands to cup your face and you unsteadily place your own hands above his.

So warm… so safe…

“I like you, Y/N,” he says so surely, and just like that very first night months ago when you first saw him sing, he locks his striking brown eyes with yours. “I know it’s only been a few months since we’ve known each other but I don’t wanna do any high school shit like dancing around my obvious feelings for you. For fuck’s sake, we’re already getting older and I don’t wanna beat around the bush anymore.”

He laughs that windshield wiper laugh you simultaneously love and hate so much. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen to us after a few more months but that’s not what matters. We can’t live life being scared, Y/N, because we’ll never truly know if we don’t try. I just…” he trails off for a moment but his eyes never leave yours. Gently kissing your nose, he leans his forehead against yours in a declaration loud and clear.

“I like you, Y/N. I want to be in your life, and I want to be in your heart. If you’ll have me.”

The choice is yours.

month 8

“There it is! Do you see it? Right there!”

“Yes, I see it. Calm down, babe,” you laugh as you tightly grip his hand. The two of you are lying flat on the picnic blanket Seokjin brought, surrounded by the numerous pillows he also brought to keep you comfortable with your very prominent belly, since you two made plans to go stargazing on the rooftop that night. Smiling quietly, you close your eyes and bask in the moment and the wonder of the starry night around you.

Just like that first night at the bar, you think.

“Make a wish.”

You open your eyes to see Seokjin looking at you cheekily and you fix him a look as if to say “that wasn’t a shooting star, dummy,” but you hold back and decide to humor him instead.

Looking back at the night sky, you’re quiet for a moment, appreciating the glimmer of the hundreds of stars that always have the ability to make you feel small. The stars always make you feel a strange way with how they remind you that there’s always something bigger, something more infinite, something larger than life. Yet at that moment, you don’t feel insignificant at all.

You take a deep breath and make a wish to whatever higher being is listening to you.

You smile. For the first time in admittedly a long time, you feel truly and completely happy. No worries, no what ifs, no irrational fears. Just you, your lover, and pure unadulterated happiness. This is nice. Magical.

“What are you thinking about?”

You look back at the man who gave, and continuously gives, you so much — the man who showers you with unabashed love and devotion, the man who teaches you everyday to take a big leap of faith and to let go of your inhibitions.

He made you appreciate that love didn’t have to have a time limit. He made you realize that relationships didn’t have to dictate every little thing you see.

You look at him fondly, hoping he can see the complete love and adoration you have for him in your eyes, and lift his hand to your lips. Pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles, you lock eyes with the brown ones you love so much before answering.

“Just that I’m really glad my baby was craving hotteok that day.”

month 9

Seokjin shrugs off his coat, entering his humble abode with excited limbs and a beaming heart.

He’s been feeling a lot of that lately. Excitement. Happiness. Not to mention, Giddiness. He definitely knows the reason why, and that very reason is in his bedroom right this moment.

He puts a finger to his lips to gesture at Yoongi and Hoseok to be quiet as they follow him to the living room, knowing you and your newborn baby are probably asleep in his bed right now. Unfortunately, you haven’t moved in with him yet (despite his numerous offers) but you definitely spend a lot more time in his apartment these days as you both share the ups and downs of caring for a newborn.

Your fears and insecurities come back sometimes, especially when your baby’s being too hard at times or when you doubt your capabilities as a new mother. You also worry about placing too much burden and responsibility on Jin but he repeatedly reminds you that he adores you, he adores your baby just as much, and he loves the life both of you are navigating together.

Is this what happiness feels like?

“Yeah, probably,” Yoongi answers his question much later when he asks it out loud. “I get what you mean. Been feeling kinda happy myself, too.”

“Maybe,” Jin murmurs dreamily. “Or maybe I’m just… in love? I’ve never felt this way before.”

“That, too,” Hoseok responds, clapping his hand on the older man’s back. “I'm happy for you, hyung. It’s a good thing you didn’t move in with us back then. Look at where you are now.”

Seokjin chuckles, thinking of you and the baby.

“Yeah. My life is the best.”

[bucky-in-paradise]

How Bad It Hurts

Hello and welcome to my new Druig x Reader series “How Bad It Hurts”! I am super excited for everyone to read this and fall further for this handsome mind controller! This is going to be a multi-chapter fic with new chapters being uploaded each week, so be sure to stay tuned in to read more about Druig and his Shutterbug! 

The setting for our story takes place before Druig’s fellow Eternals show up in the Amazon asking for his help, so bare that in mind!

Thanks in advance for likes, comments, and reblogs. It is greatly appreciated! I hope people enjoy this series as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Without further ado, here is the first chapter!

Summary: Reader, nicknamed Shutterbug by Druig, has heard rumors and stories her entire career as a photographer for The Smithsonian Magazine about a forgotten commune in the Amazon jungle. After piecing together enough information to make her way there, she finds a lot more than a forgotten commune and embarks on the adventure of a lifetime with a man far too captivating to just photograph. 

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: mind control, bad language

Growing up, you always knew you loved nature and photography, so it just made sense to pursue a career in a field that allowed you to combine your two favorite parts of life. Which explains why you’ve spent the last three days trekking through previously uncharted Amazonian territory, making your way towards a rumored commune that you had heard whispers about every now and again throughout your time as a professional photographer.

It took over five years to get to where you are in your career as a nature photographer with Smithsonian Magazine, and even more years getting your degree, while simultaneously interning for smaller newspaper organizations near your university as you went. This opportunity to be the first person to photograph and unearth this rumored commune was too big a chance to pass up, so you remain plowing through thick trees trying to find your way into what could be your big break.

Matthias, one of Smithsonian’s oldest resident photographers, gave you the coordinates that he had been studying for a number of years before handing them over to you claiming, ‘I’m far too old to be wandering around out in the jungle. You’ve got your whole career ahead of you, you go’.

Easier said than done, though, you booked a flight two weeks out before continuing to research just how you’d get to your final destination. Ensuring your passport was up to date, scheduling a boat ride through the large river between your initial flight and the end result, as well as confirming a ride home exactly fourteen days after your arrival time at the commune were all minor details compared to the fact you’d need to hike your way through an immense jungle. 

Trying not to let the overwhelming anxiety take over was quite possibly the most difficult challenge of all as you stock up on everything you’ll need for your trip, but you did it. Now, you continue to push onward, your tracking gps your saving grace as it monitors the distance between you and your journey’s end. 

You pause, wiping away the sweat from your brow before taking in your surroundings. Your gps displayed that the commune was now only a little over a mile away, but after all the walking you’d done thus far, that mile felt like another day's worth of walking. You allow yourself a breather, sitting down on the stump of what used to be another towering tree within this expansive jungle terrain for a few minutes. For what it’s worth, you’ve never seen a more beautiful environment, but given your career path, that will most likely change again once you move onto your next job. 

Standing up, you shuffle your traveling pack back onto your shoulders and ready yourself for the last stretch of your journey. Before you can even take a step further down your path, your entire body freezes up, joints locking in place. It’s like a foreign being has stepped into you, causing all your muscles to stiffen without your permission. ‘What the hell is going on?’ you think to yourself as you try to gaze at your surroundings without being able to move your head side to side.

“Who do ya think ya are wanderin’ around out here by your lonesome,” a thick Irish accent questions you as you try to locate where the voice came from. “Pretty dangerous for such a lovely young lady to be walking around by herself,” it continues from behind you now. You hear footsteps crushing twigs and dried leaves as whoever is speaking moves towards you.

In your head, all you can think is, ‘why can’t I move my body?!’ but before you can think any further the voice once carried softly into your ears is spoken alongside your own thoughts. 

‘It’s alright love, no need to be frightened now.’ Panic consumes you as your body is finally given permission back to itself. “Sorry for the fright dear, just saw you makin’ your way through here and figured you might be lost or somethin’”. His voice is friendly enough as you finally turn around and meet his gaze. He’s built, arms shown off due to the black tank top he wears and toned legs visible through his trousers. You look back into his deep, blue eyes that seem to draw you in. 

It’s not difficult for your brain to supply the fact that he is an extremely attractive specimen all the way out here in the jungle, but that’s just it, why the hell is this Irishman out in the middle of the jungle? “That’s very kind of you, you’re not too shabby yourself considering you probably haven’t showered in, what, two days?” 

“Three.” You let the word hang in the charged air between you both before continuing on, “What are you doing out here? Wait, hold on. How were you in my head?! You- you stopped me from moving.” You force the words from your mouth as your body remains frozen.

He laughs heartily into the warm afternoon air before stepping closer into your personal space, but you don’t budge an inch. “Name’s Druig. Why don’t you follow me back to that commune you’re so eager to find and we’ll get you a shower and some grub.” He continues to smile at you before sidestepping around your body and trailing ahead of you before pausing again. “C’mon now, don’t want to waste too much time out here. You don’t even want to know what comes out around these parts after dark,” he says with a smirk.

You stay rooted to the ground, watching him as he once again turns back to face you. Realistically, he’s your best shot at reaching the commune in a short period of time, so you know you should try to trust him. But deep down, there is a primal fear of what this man means not just for yourself, but to his surroundings. If he can get inside your mind and control your body, who’s to know what will happen once you reach the commune. 

Sighing, you think of your career and this opportunity before closing in on his body and tracking behind him as he continues further towards where your gps displays Mattias’s provided coordinates. “So, you live out here long?” you throw your question at his back wondering just how long he’s been out here.

“Very long. I built this place from the ground up. Just wait, you’ll see soon enough for yourself.” He let his sentence hang in the air, testing the waters to see if you’d try to carry on the conversation, or if your internalized fear of him would keep you from asking the questions he sees bouncing around in your brain. At first glance, he was intrigued by you and your beauty. It’s not often he gets visitors from the outside world, in fact, he thinks it’s been over thirty years since someone wandered into his home, which is why he’s so fascinated by you. 

“Oh,” you throw at his back, not daring to take your eyes off him in fear, but also curiosity, of what he might do. “You must be well acclimated to this heat then. How do you stay cool out here,” you question him, at the very least attempting to make some small talk to try and figure out his angle. 

“Hmm, there’s not much we can do. Mostly go to either the river nearby or lake just a few minutes due east of our village.” He keeps his pace steady, back stiff and posture alert of his surroundings. You take this opportunity to admire him and his physique, clearly interested in more than photographing his home, but possibly getting an inside interview on the man behind it. 

 It didn’t take too long to reach what seemed to be the entrance of the commune before he turned around on you suddenly. “Don’t talk to anyone after we get into the main part of the village, got it?” 

You nod quickly, watching as he turned around again abruptly and marched into the busy camp. You try to make yourself appear as invisible as possible, keeping your face pointed at your feet while you trek behind him once again and into a large building. It’s wide and has an open floor plan, allowing you to take in your surroundings. Wood tables and chairs take up most of the room while a kitchen lines the back wall, fruits and vegetables laid out on the open countertop visible from where you remain in the doorway. “Come, take a seat. I’ll fetch ya something to eat.” Following his orders, you move into what you presume to be a dining commons for the residents of this village and take a seat at the first open table. 

After setting your pack down on the dirt ground, you watch him move, his lithe form zigzagging from place to place as he piles up different foods on a plate for you. It’s easy to get lost in thoughts about him, where he came from and what he’s doing here at all. Seemingly, he is the leader of this lost tribe out here in the middle of nowhere, so how did all this start in the first place? 

“Calm your thoughts, love. All your questions will be answered in a matter of time. First, let’s eat. You picky?” You shake your head at his question as he moves back towards you, taking a seat across from your rigid body. “You can relax, you know? You’re safe here.” 

Taking in a shuddering breath, you try to calm your nerves as he moves the plate of food in between the two of you, reaching for a handful of what looks like berries for himself. “Thank you,” you breathe out, going in for some as well and resting back against the chair. For the first time since you stepped off the plane after your arrival, your body let’s itself relax back into the uncomfortable wooden chair. 

“There ya go, that’s it.” He smiles at you, leaning back into his own wooden chair and fixing his stare onto you. “So, tell me now. What is it you’re doing all the way out here?” 

You swallow your bite before answering, “I’m a photographer. I got some leads about a hidden commune in the middle of the jungle and once I had enough information to make my way here, I realized it was too good an opportunity to pass up. And now I’m here, sitting with you.” You try your best to smile at him 

He matches your smile, though his seems far more degrading, and moves forward so that his elbows rest on the table, cupping his cheeks in his hands. “Here you are. Well, this here is my commune. I’m in charge and whatever I say goes. I can’t allow you to photograph anything here, I’m sorry you’ve wasted your time, but I have to ask you to leave if you still intend to take any pictures.” Your body slumps further into your chair at his statement, utter heartbreak filling your soul at the thought of his request. 

You’d come so far, it can’t all be for nothing. “Mr. Druig-,” he shakes his head immediately at that. “Please, I’m begging you, at least let me take some photos of the buildings on the grounds? None of the people who live here? I won’t even name where they were taken in the article! I’ll just say…” you trail off. “Please, you have to understand how far I’ve traveled to get here! I can just say that the pictures were from a remote village in the Andes Mountains or something!”

“You’ll lie then? To everyone? Is that what you are, dear? A liar?” His question shocks you, but you try not to let it affect you too much. 

“No, I am not a liar, but these pictures would show the world this beautiful commune. What goes on here, the amount of time and effort you’ve put into this place.” You were desperate, you knew he could see it, but there was little else you could do at this point, you’ve come so far.

“Sorry love, but that’s just it. The world can’t know what goes on here. I can’t let you leave with any information regarding this place, even if it is just a photograph. I’ve worked hard to get this place where it’s at now, can’t have ya ruinin’ it, can I?” Similar to his actions, you place your face in your hands, but face down, frustrated tears filling your eyes. 

Curses fill your head and you allow your brain to go quiet for a brief moment after. “I think that’s the quietest I’ve heard ya all afternoon,” he tries to lighten the mood, but the reminder that he can peer into the deepest recesses of your mind only furthers your anger and frustration.

“Get out of my head!” you shout at him, finally allowing the tears to stream down your face. You reach up to wipe them away, but he quickly grabs your hand and pulls it down. 

“Listen, I’m sorry to have to do this to ya. I really don’t take pleasure in seeing you so upset, but you have to see it from where I’m standing, yeah? If you go back to your little home in the city and expose our place, flocks of tourists and asshole diplomats will be on my tail. I can’t afford that, I just can’t.” You pull your hand back from his grasp to reach up and wipe the remaining tears from your face as he finishes speaking, a look of sadness washing over his features. 

You’d like to believe he really feels sorry, but you’re too angry to care. “I guess I’ll get out of your hair then. Better get going before nightfall if I am going to arrange a new flight home and boat ride.” You go to stand, but he grabs onto your hands once more over the table.

“Don’t do that. You don’t have to leave so suddenly. If you promise not to photograph anything, you’re more than welcome to get your bearings before taking off.” Unbeknownst to you, he’d never let you truly leave without ensuring you’d never speak of this place again. He was already plotting to take your memories of this place away from you before you make it back to the boat, planning to plant the memory in your head of an empty facility in the middle of the jungle. No loose ends, just the disappointment of finding no truth to the rumors you had supposedly heard about this place. “I’ll set up a place for you to sleep and get ya a towel so you can finally have that shower, Shutterbug,” his new nickname for you making a small smile replace your frustrated glare.

He smirks at you from across the table and realistically, what’s the harm in staying for a few days and then continuing on your way home? You pull yourself together and nod at his request, letting him know you would take him up on it. “Great, it’s settled. Stay for your allotted amount of time, enjoy the scenery and I’ll show you around more tomorrow.” You go back to the plate of food in front of you, trying not to let the disappointment of the previous conversation get to you too much. After a few minutes of eating together in silence, he stands, offering you his hand as he makes his way around to your side of the table and picks up your pack, helping it back into place on your back. 

You follow him out of the building and into the bright sun. For the first time, you have a moment to take in the inhabitants of this commune, watching as they complete their daily tasks and completely disregarding your existence. “Druig, can they not see me?” Breaking your gaze from these people, you find him already gazing down at you with kind eyes.

“They see what I want them to see and for the moment, I don’t want them to know you’re here. Tonight, I’ll give you a more formal introduction, we’ll just need to find some appropriate clothes for ya to wear,” he winks at you as he finishes his sentence. “C’mon love,” he continues to pull you away from the dining hall and to the left where a small number of wooden homes line either side of a dirt path. “You can sleep in the adjoining room to mine.” 

That sentence causes you to whip your head around and gaze up at him questioningly. “You mean, like, sleep in the same house?” You suppose it’s not too outrageous, it’s not like he’s asking you to sleep in his bed or anything. 

Reading your mind, but not saying anything, he smiles down at you and asks, “that a problem? Lot warmer in my hut than some of the other empty ones I could offer ya.” Pushing the butterflies rumbling in your stomach down at the idea of sleeping in the same quarters as this man, you thank him. Besides, there would be a wall in between you, right? No big deal.

He approaches the last small structure on the left and guides you up the short staircase. “In ya go,” he says as he opens the front door for you and begins to remove the pack from your back and set it on the wooden floor of his home. 

It’s spacious for looking relatively small on the outside, but you expect nothing less seeing as he is the leader of this village, commune, tribe, whatever you should call it at this point. You get lost in thought as you peruse your surroundings, a small sink and counter space to your left with a door that allows you to see into a small toilet room. Directly to your right are a few chairs and a table, similar in style to the one you ate at moments ago in the dining hall. There are a few decorations up on various shelves lining the dining area, knick knacks and antique looking items that clearly have a long history. 

Ahead of you is a wall that breaks off the conjoined front space of the house and what you guess to be the sleeping area. An open doorway, that actually lacks a door of any kind, allows you to see a window built into the back of the house, but not what lies in the room ahead. “The shower’s through there,” he points at the open doorway and proceeds to make his way through it. You move to follow and finally are able to get a full view of the room and see what you believe to be your worst nightmare, two beds, but with no wall separating them and only feet apart. Technically it would be worse if there was only one bed, but this felt just as bad. 

“Oh, uh, where will I sleep,” you question him, already having a good enough idea that one of those beds will end up being yours for the week.

“You already have it figured out in that pretty little head of yours don’t ya? While you're showering, I’ll go get some work done. Here, I’ll bring your pack in,” he comments, moving out of the room and back towards the front door. Seconds later he’s setting your pack down on the bed against the wall. “Towels are in that cupboard, grab whatever one suits ya. I’ll be outside when you’re done,” he says, motioning with his head at a built in wall of wooden shelves.

You remain still until he leaves the room, finally relaxing once again and preparing your belongings to take a shower. Right as you begin to undress, he peeks his head through the open doorway to look at you. “‘Fore I forget, I’ll leave ya some appropriate clothing to wear around the others on the table out here.” With that, he's gone just as fast as he came in. 

Waiting until you’re sure he’s gone this time, you remove your clothes and hop into the brisk shower, letting the cold water pour over your exhausted frame. You make the shower quick, seeing as how the temperature is less than pleasant, and wrap a towel around your wet body. You’re slow to dry off and put on the clothes he left behind, a plain blue t-shirt and some loose fitting pants. You don’t bother putting your hiking boots back on, far too tired to search Druig out amongst the villagers and instead decide to rest your head for a while. 

Not intending to fall asleep, you’re surprised when you feel a soft hand rouse you from the best sleep you’ve had since your plane touched down in the Amazon days ago. You peel your tired eyes open to see Druig sitting next to you and the setting sun lighting up the quiet room. “Sorry to wake ya, I just thought you might want to eat again before you actually go to bed? Maybe see around the place, too, before it gets too dark?” You pull your body into a sitting position, rubbing your tired eyes all the while. 

You sleepily smile at him and nod that yes, you would like to eat and look around a bit. He stands and moves towards the front of the house to give you your privacy as you wake up a bit more and put your boots on. You meet up with him in the dining area of the house and make your way through the commune together. He gave you the official tour, naming off each building and introducing you to various members of the community. It was surprisingly fun and a pleasant experience getting to know these unique individuals. What interested you most, though, was the fact that they all seemed to be living centuries behind every other city you’ve visited. 

Granted, you had some idea of the level of technology they might have, but you couldn’t anticipate just how far behind they might be. Once you and Druig were seated back in the dining hall, different members of the village bringing you plates of meat and vegetables to eat as they passed, you were finally able to ask all your questions and get real answers out of him. 

He was happy to discuss the day to day life of the village and what went on behind the scenes that no one really knew about. Of course, he was more than eager to leave out the mind control aspect that these villagers often underwent and explaining the real reason they arrived here at all, but if he could placate you with simple explanations, then he was willing to do so. 

Before the both of you knew it, the sun had been set for hours and most of the people left inside the dining hall were cleaning up any leftovers from their dinner. You thanked a middle aged woman and her younger daughter as they cleared yours and Druig’s plates from in front of you. Once they had left the two of you to your own devices, Druig stood and offered you his hand once again, stating that he would escort you back to his house for the night. You walked silently, hands still clasped together and a blush resting on your cheeks, back down the path to his home. The silence felt easy, comfortable almost, that by the time you made it inside, you weren’t quite ready to go to sleep yet. Druig was far too interesting to look at and talk to to fall asleep now. 

“We don’t have to go to bed yet, Shutterbug. How about you and I have a cuppa tea?” You nodded at him, grateful that the night didn’t have to end so soon, even if you had the distinct feeling he read your thoughts in order for the evening to continue. The two of you chatted about your life back home, finally allowing him to ask you the questions he’d been pondering since your arrival. For a few hours, you chatted in the candlelight of his wooden table, chairs tucked in as far as they could go in order to be closer to one another. 

“So ya must have a special lad back home, no? Lover perhaps?” He eagerly awaited your reply as you looked up from your steaming, half-empty cup of tea and into his baby blues. 

“Nope, just me. Been like that for a while, haven’t really had time for anything too serious. What about you? One of these villagers must suit your fancy?” Leaning closer into him, you couldn’t help but reveal how curious you are to his current relationship status, not that there was much you could actually do about it in such a short period of time. 

His previous smile at your response to his question slipped away as a more somber face was displayed on his slouched body. “Nah, not anymore at least. Centuries ago, there was someone, but now? It’s just me as well. Been like that a while,” his smile slips back as he references your own answer. You smile too and let the silence of the evening fully envelop you, casually sipping on your tea until your cup is empty and cold. “Suppose we should be heading to bed now, sun’ll be up in only a few short hours. Lots to show you this week, so you’ll need all the rest you can get.” 

You stand and watch him as he moves into his bedroom. You follow him hesitantly, seeming to be the theme for the day, but you can easily see yourself growing more comfortable here as the days go on. You reach into your pack to pull out some pajamas while he moves into the open shower stall. “I’ll be out in a moment, Shutterbug, feel free to get changed. I won’t look, promise.” And with that, he moves the shower curtain across the rod, separating the two of you from one another.

It takes but a minute to change into your night clothes and you bring your small bag of toiletries into the front of the house where the toilet and sink are, making quick work of brushing your teeth. After relieving yourself in the bathroom, you slink back into his bedroom noticing he was still occupying the shower. You question whether you should give him his privacy like he did you by turning on your side away from the shower once you slip into bed, but your curiosity wins out and you settle on the, surprisingly comfortable, mattress on your back. 

You lay still for a few minutes, thinking about the day you’ve had and about the days to come with this man. You started out so afraid of him and what he could do, but now? There isn’t an ounce of fear in your body when you think of Druig. The water turns off just as you’re about to let yourself fall asleep and you make sure to squeeze your eyes shut in fear of Druig catching your peeping eyes. The same candle that lit the two of you across his dinner table now rests on the bedside table between your two beds, illuminating the room in a soft glow. 

You hear the rustle of the shower curtain fold back and reveal his body to the open room and you force yourself to take a deep breath in order to stop your racing heart. 

“Ya can look, Shutterbug. I’m all covered up,” he puffs out a laugh as he says it and you don’t hesitate to turn your body on it’s side to face him and slowly open your eyes. They latch onto his towel clad body, exposing you to his upper half and giving you the opportunity to watch as slow streams of left over water trail down his form. “Take a picture, nature lady. It’ll last longer,” he laughs again at his joke, but you don’t have it in you to make a sound. 

His broad smile falls into something softer as he makes his way over to your bed. “Sleep, Shutterbug. I’ll still be here in the morning.” He kneels on the floor next to you and watches closely as your eyes fall shut and the tendrils of his powers seep into your mind to help you fully fall into a deep sleep. Rising back onto two legs, he too makes a quick show of readying himself for bed and climbing into his own sheets, feet away from yours. 

Druig hesitates blowing out the candle, choosing to watch the rise and fall of your chest for a few moments longer. How bad will it hurt to watch you walk away at the end of all this, he wonders. Bad, he thinks. It’ll hurt bad. 

With that, he blows out the candle and allows himself to succumb to sleep, eager to start a new day with you tomorrow.

[eideticmemory]

TWO GHOSTS IV | MATTHEW GUBLER

It’s been 15 years. 15 years has to be long enough . . . right? Read PART 3.

Set 15 years after the end of Ever Since New York, so give that a read first!

Word Count: 3.9k.

Warning: Usual angst, porn, and poor communication amongst characters.

SOUNDTRACK:

Love Affair - UMI

Debt - Eliza McLamb

Sometimes Sunshine - Seasalt

A nonstop flight, from New York City to Los Angeles, is three hours long. On a good day. And May 16 was supposed to be a good day. A great day. The best day of Matthew’s life. He tries not to think about it, not to reminisce too often. About the way he walked through the airport with a little jog, a little pep in his step. And the way he smiled through security, and constantly checked behind him as if you would magically appear. The roses he bought for you in a gift shop near the terminal.

See, a nonstop flight from New York City to Los Angeles is three hours long. On a good day. But Matthew wasn’t looking for three hours. He wasn’t asking you for a few hours of your time, or even a good day. He was asking you for a lifetime.

And that day, he had booked you two a connecting flight that totaled over six hours, with a two hour layover in Colorado. There was a little ice cream shop in the Denver airport, and they served blueberry ice cream. Matthew remembered it was your favorite, and saved just enough money to get your tickets and an entire pint. He couldn’t shake the thought of flying across the country with you, seeing a few small parts of it at a time. A few small parts at a time, until someday, you two had seen the whole world together.

He bought a blanket for you and, while waiting at the terminal, he sat it in the seat beside him, keeping it warm for when you would arrive. He had a little itinerary written in his notes app, and so far everything was going to plan. He had a bouquet of roses in his lap, and he killed time by looking up engagement rings online.

He didn’t start to worry until maybe, an hour, an hour and a half before the plane was set to depart. He called you, just to check in, and it went straight to voicemail. But he was still hopeful. There was very little that could destroy his peace that day. His hope. His happiness.

He tries not to think about it. The way the seconds inched by like a caterpillar moving across the limb of a tree. Slowly, painfully. The way his hope dwindled, and dwindled, and the insane amount of times he heard,

Hey, it’s [y/n]! Leave a message!

He can’t think about it anymore. The way he spents those six hours alone. Bawling his way through flight after flight, and eating a pint of blueberry ice cream by himself. He spent hours on his own. And weeks, months, hell, he spent years thinking that maybe, just maybe, you would find your way back to him.That the universe would magically correct itself.

And you’d come home.

Fifteen.

It took him fifteen years to find you again. It took fifteen years for the universe to bring you back together, and Matthew spent the first five thinking it was all some really shitty nightmare. It took him fifteen years to get close to you, to hear you say his name again, to get inside of you again.

And he managed to fuck it all up in a matter of twenty-four hours.

His body is paralyzed. His mind is moving a mile a minute, and he can’t take his eyes off the ceiling. His chest feels tight, like he can’t breathe properly. He knows he should not feel sorry for himself. That he, alone, is responsible for this wreck. But he can’t seem to shake it. He can’t seem to move.

“What the hell did I do?”

A knock at your door wakes you up. You don’t remember falling asleep, you don’t know how you were able to. But now, it’s all you want to do. You want to stay in the bed, in a state of unconsciousness and dreariness where you can’t remember your mistakes. But someone is knocking. Incessantly, loudly. And they won’t stop.

You roll out of bed, and drag your body across the floor. Zombie like, your shoulders are slouched, your eyes are hooded. Your feet shuffle along the floor like they’re weighted to the hardwood. Your footsteps are slow, hesitant. You don’t know what you’ll do if Matthew is on the other side of that door. You just . . . you don’t know. The very thought of it is making your stomach churn, and you suddenly feel very, very nauseous. The banging continues, and it’s as someone is using all their force. Like they’d break the door down if they could.

“[y/n]!”

You instantly relax at the sound of her voice. You speed up, hurry to the door, “[y/n] [y/l/n]! I know you can hear me! Open up!”

The door swings open and you catch her with her fist in the air, ready to strike the door once again. She’s pissed, doesn’t try to hide it, couldn’t hide it even if she tried.

“Good morning,” you rasp.

“It’s one in the afternoon,” she corrects you, pushing her way into your home.

“Please,” you say, shutting the door behind her. “Come on in.”

“Y’know,” Everest starts, clasping her hands in front of her as a wild look graces her face. “You’ve always been one of the good ones . . . hell, you’ve been . . . great, if that’s the word. You’re better than the others. The ones that really write my checks. But, um, you’re testing me, [y/n].”

You don’t even have to ask.

“Now, if there’s is some magical relationship blooming, or a monumental disaster about to strike, then you need to tell me now, so I can fix it. I’m a fixer, you know, that’s what I do. So, why are you making this so hard for me?”

“If it . . .” you clear your throat, cross your arms as you stare at her feet. “If it makes you feel any better, um, this is hard for me, too.” You attempt to joke. But you just sound sad.

“Yeah?” she raises her eyebrows. “So hard that you come out of his hotel in tears? And what the hell were you doing over there anyway? Was there a plan? Did he call you to come over?”

“I don’t see how any of this matters.”

“It matters because I woke up at seven in the morning — on a saturday — to all sorts of choas and speculation, and picture evidence of you doing exactly what I told you not to do!”

“Yeah, well, I’m a idiot. Don’t worry, that’s been established.”

“The internet is undefeated. Okay? People are . . . great at making up stories, making assumptions. And as your publicist, I need to know the whole story, the real story, before it gets twisted even further.”

You sigh, and walk over to the couch. As you sit down, you pull a pillow into your lap for just a little bit of comfort. “What do you mean the whole story?”

“Wrong choice of words,” Everest says. “The important parts of the whole story. Like are you dating him? Are you fucking him? If so, how long has this been going on?”

You can’t make eye contact as you speak, “I . . . fucked . . . him . . . a few times, a long time ago . . .”

She nods. She motions at you to continue, “. . . And?”

“And . . .” you breathe out. “I fucked him, again. Recently.”

“Last night? At the hotel?”

“Last night . . . not at the hotel.”

“Sooo, when? — Oh, my God,” she lowers her eyebrows at you, purses her lips. “You didn’t.”

“Oh, I did,” you nod. It’s a shameful nod. “You know they say there’s no sex like sex in a dressing room.”

“They also say polka dots are making a comeback, you believe everything you hear?”

“Sorry.”

“So you fuck him in the dressing room, and?”

“And . . . we go our seperate ways . . . again. And, then I realize that’s a lot easier said then done, so I . . . I go for him. I go for him . . .” Everest can hear the way your voice is cracking, the way the weight on your shoulder is slowly pushing the air out of your lungs. “And, uh,” you clear your throat. “Yeah. Yeah, it didn’t work out. Hence the . . . photos of me crying, I guess.”

“Mm,” she nods, crosses her arms. “And the other girl?”

You freeze, cut your head up at her. “What other girl?”

“What do you mean? The girls that came out right behind you. Same sad face? Kinda got a Natalie Portman look to her?”

“I . . .” you shake your head. “I didn’t know she came out after me, I must have left by then.”

“Who is she?”

You give her a shrug, “I don’t know.”

“His girlfriend?”

You huff, “Guess so.”

“Ah, so, some people online actually got it right. Huh, look at that.”

“Look, if the point of all of this is to keep me away from him, you can stop now. I don’t plan on seeing him ever again.”

The doorbell rings, as if on queue, and Everest instantly gives you a look. “What?” you ask. “I don’t know who it is. Your guess is as good as mine.”

She scoffs at you, and turns around, marching towards the door with a certain determination. She pulls it open, and immediately puts her hand on her hip. “You gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“Oh,” Matthew gasps. “Uh, oh . . . fuck . . . sorry, I must — I must have the wrong house.”

“You sure do, Romeo.”

You stand from the couch, your face laced with shock and anger and confusion, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Don’t engage, [y/n], what the hell?” Everest interjects.

You roll your eyes and cross your arms over your chest. “How the hell did you find my house?” you direct at Matthew.

“Oh, what?” he scoffs. “Like you’re the only one around here who can play stalker?”

“Go home, Matthew.”

“Five minutes. I’m asking you for five minutes. You can time me if you want.”

“Go back to California, Matthew.”

“Look, I know I fucked up. I know, but —“

“Do you?” you snap. You take slow, calculated steps towards the front door, and your voice is lowering to a rumble. “Do you know that you fucked up? Because, if you did, if you truly knew just how badly you fucked up, then you would leave. You would get on a fucking plane and leave, and you would never come back!”

The way Matthew is looking at you right now.Like he can’t fathom what’s happening. Like he is trying his very best not to feel defeated. “Can I . . . can I just —“

“No.” Everest says. “You heard her. Fuck off, string bean.”

You walk away, retiring to your kitchen. You try to keep yourself busy, but you’re trembling like mad and you can barely breathe.

Matthew leaves. You know because you hear the door close. Everest comes into the kitchen, and you feel stuck. Frozen to the spot and position you’re in. Your back is to her, and you can’t begin to imagine or guess what look is on her face right now.

She’s quiet for a moment, eyeing you with her arms crossed at her chest. She leans against the entryway and sighs, “Tell me more.”

Ramona walks up your driveway, and it isn’t until she looks up from her phone that she sees Matthew. She notices him, and he notices her, and Ramona tries to act like it didn’t happen, But when Matthew opens his mouth to speak, she blows past him, “I’m not supposed to talk to you.”

“I know,” he says instantly. He is well aware, but it doesn’t stop him from running in front of her, blocking her from your front door. “I know, I know. I’m sorry, but . . . please, can you give this [y/n]?”

Matthew holds out an envelope. It’s bright red, your name is printed on the front of it in his handwriting.

Ramona glances at it, but she quickly glances back up, “Do I look like a mailman to you?”

“She won’t take it from me. She won’t talk to me. She might take it from you.”

“Yeah, or she might fire me for even taking it from you in the first place.”

“[y/n] wouldn’t do that.”

“Yeah, yeah, she’s usually pretty amazing, except for when you’re around, or when you’re brought up, or when you’re fucking with her head. You make her a different person, dude. I want no part of it.”

He nods, looks down, “Fair enough . . . I’ll put it in her mailbox.”

“Yeah, why don’t you do that?” She shrugs, and she continues on by him.

“Damn . . .” Everest says. “You ghosted the guy at the airport?”

“Basically,” you shrug.

“Well, fuck,” she scoffs. “That is some serious great gatsby shit.”

“Yeah, we’ve always had a flair for the dramatic.”

The doorbell rings, and you both turn your heads sharply towards the entrance. “You don’t think he would come back, do you?” Everest asks as she walks to the door.

“Well, he never listens much to anything I say, but he’s probably a little scared of you.”

She laughs, and when she opens the door, she tells you it’s only Ramona, who walks in quickly, looking for you. She gives you a soft smile, and joins you in the kitchen as Everest follows close behind.

“So,” Ramona pips. “What’s the game plan?”

“You and [y/n] come to my office in the city and we’ll figure it out. Hey, did you pass him on your way out?” Everest asks her.

“Uh, who?”

“Matthew,” you tell her. “He was just here, you didn’t see him?”

“He was here?” Ramona questions, putting on a look of bewilderment. “When?”

“Just now. He left right before you got here.” Everest explains.

“Holy shit,” Ramona says. “What’d he want?”

“[y/n].”

“So,” you interrupt. “Your office? Now? We can go ahead and get going.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Everest stops you in your tracks, throwing her hands up. “Not so fast, you . . . you need to shower first.”

You look down at your outfit. You’re still dressed in Claire’s clothes and they’re completely disheveled. You haven’t showered or brushed your teeth since the last time you had sex, and the very thought makes you feel dirty. You look exactly how you feel. You sigh, “Fair enough.”

“We’ll wait in the car,” Everest nods, and motions to Ramona to follow her.

“What are we gonna do with her?” she says to Ramona as soon as they’re out of the house and walking down the driveway.

“I don’t know, she’s my boss . . . I can only help so much.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve known [y/n] for a long time now, and she’s never needed saving. But, something tells me we’re going to have to keep her away from this one.”

“From Matthew?” Ramona stops in her tracks.

“Well,” Everest stops, turns around to look at her. “She’s a grown woman. She’ll do what she wants. But, that zombie in there,” she motions to the house. “Who walks around the city in her pajamas for a man, is not [y/n]. Atleast, not the world’s [y/n]. People love her. She’s one of the few celebrities that’s kind and passionate and isn’t problematic. I’m just being proactive here.”

“Proactive?”

“She says she’s done with him. She told him she’s done with him. Now, we will just keep her on that path. Few months later, she and the rest of the world forget this ever happened and everything is back to normal.”

“You sound very sure of all of this.”

“Yeah, well, I like my schedules and I happen to like [y/n] so I better be sure. Come on, our ride’s further down the driveway,” Everest continues walking. While Ramona is stuck in place.

“Hey! Uh,” Ramona stutters, suddenly, loudly, causing Everest to turn around once again. “I think I left my water bottle in the house. I’ll meet you in the car?”

“Okay,” Everest eyes her. “It’s just around the corner. And tell [y/n] to hurry up.”

“I will!”

Ramona waits for Everest to continue down the driveway, and when she’s just far enough, Ramona turns around and acts as if she’s walking back up to your front door. When she’s positive Everest has made it to the car, she runs over to your mailbox. She opens it slowly, so it doesn’t creak as loud. The bright red envelope is the only thing in there, and she takes it out quickly. She looks at it for a moment, asks herself what the hell she’s doing. But she doesn’t have time to think right now, you could walk out at any moment. She closes your mailbox, shoves the envelope in her bag, and walks down the driveway.

Matthew Gubler, himself, is a disruption in the space-time continuum.

When you start tallying up the days, it just doesn’t make sense. Some days, every second feels like it’s crawling by. You’ll be in class, at the head of the class, and you’re surprised when your lesson plan ends atleast ten minutes early. And some days, time moves too fast. You find yourself running late for things, events, important people or things, which isn’t like you.

You call it Matthew Brain, and you keep that term to yourself. It happened fifteen years ago. And it’s happening now. It’s a slow, steady descent back to earth, back to reality. Time isn’t real with him, and you think that’s the reason you can’t remember much of your senior year. It’s a rush, a high to even be near him, and it’s the ultimate collapse when he’s gone. Really gone. Out of the life, for the second time.

Time has reset.

And what feels like one month with Matthew Gubler, only turns out to be four days.

You’re on a journey back to earth, and you haven’t even reached the bottom yet. It’s coming, but not now, you thought. You have time to prepare. And this time you’ll be ready. Ready to hit rock bottom, and spend another fifteen years digging yourself out. You have time, you’re sure of it.

Then Ramona comes into your office. She notices you crying, and you have to twirl around in your chair while you wipe the tears away. “Shit, Ro,” you try to laugh. “What’s up?”

“Uh, your afternoon class?” she reminds you. “With the girls at the community center? . . . What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

A lot. Not anything that you can really talk to Ramona about. And each day is something different. Like today, you’re feeling like a fucking idiot. You feel unbelievably stupid and lost and question why anyone in their right mind would choose to learn anything from you. You feel defeated, and you can’t get the look on that girl’s face out of your head.

You turn to Ramona with a soft smile, “I’m fine. I forgot about the class, thank you for reminding me. I just have to grab a few things before I go.”

“Well,” she sets her bag down in one of the chairs on the opposite side of your desk. She takes a seat in the other, “You’ve got some time, I haven’t even called the ride yet.”

You eye her, suspicious furrowing your eyebrows, “Oh, don’t do that.”

“Do what?” she seems genuinely confused.

“Sit there and feel sorry for me. I don’t need pity. I’m alright.”

“I’ve never seen you cry before . . . I’m just worried.”

“And I appreciate that, kid, I really do. But you don’t have to be, alright?”

“. . . okay.” she shrugs.

“Anyways,” you change the subject. “How much time do I have until I’ve gotta be out of here?”

“Um, I can call you a ride now, it should be here in about, ten minutes?” Ramona pulls her phone from her pocket, and holds it up as she dials the number.

“Sounds good,” you nod.

She leaves the room to make the call, and when she closes the door, you release a big sigh. As if you’d been holding it in the whole time she was here. You get up from your chair, and walk around the desk. Not paying attention, you stub your toe into the adjacent chair, so hard that the chair falls to the ground.

“Ow! Son of a b—“ your yelp is cut off by a painful groan, and your reach down to hold your foot. You look out in front of you, and Ramona’s entire bag has spilled out across the floor. “Fuck,” you mumble and instantly begin to clean it up.

It’s bright red. And it sticks out like a sore thumb. You reach over to grab it, but only because you recognized his hand writing. You run your fingers over your name, and your head is starting to hurt from the amount of pure confusion.

The door swings open, “Okay, they’ll be here in fifteen, but you have some wiggle room —“ Ramona stops when she sees the item in your hand.

You stand up straight, look her in the eye. She’s shaking. She’s trembling, and there are already tears in her eyes.

“I . . . can explain,” she says.

“Then explain.”

“Matthew . . . wanted me to — to give that to you.”

“When?”

“When, um, when he was at your house on Saturday.”

“You said you didn’t see him. You acted like you didn’t even know he had been there. You took this from him?” your voice goes up at slight octave. Not by much, but it stills cuts Ramona like a knife.

“No! No, I didn’t take it from him. I told him to put it in the mailbox. Which he did, but then I . . .”

“You? You what? Went into my mailbox and took it? Are you kidding?”

“It was crazy! I know! It was absolutely insane of me! But—But Everest was saying all these things about protecting your image, and being proactive, I just wanted to help. I thought —“

“Everest? Everest knew about this?”

“No. No. I took it when she wasn’t looking, and I just, I thought maybe if you didn’t know about the letter, you would be able to move on, y’know? Heal.”

“That was not your decision to make.”

“I know. [y/n], I’m so sorry. I can’t — I can’t even begin —“

“You’re right,” you interrupt her. “You can’t.”

You look down at the envelope in your hands, and shake your head. “God, Ro, I can barely look at you right now.”

“I’m sorry . . .”

You nod.

“I’ll . . . go wait for the car,” she nods, sadly and apologetically exiting the room.

You close the door behind her, and press your back against it. You slide to the floor, and bring the evelope close to your face. The day is not over, and you may need all night to take this in. You are not mentally prepared for whatever is in your hands, but, you rip it open anyway.

There’s a thin piece of paper inside. You pick it up, and it feels so frail that you worry it might rip. You set it on top of the envelope, and examine it. Your eyes dot over the page, until you realize, it’s not a letter at all.

American Airlines

[y/n] [y/l/n]

Seat: 14A

May Sixteenth, 2002

It’s a plane ticket. From fifteen years ago.

One you’ve never seen.

One you’ve never touched.

And now that it’s in your hands, you wish you never knew it existed.

[yourtamaki]

history doesn’t repeat, it rhymes

sakusa x gn!reader

word count: 4.1k

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, elements of depersonalization, non-explicit mentions of sex

dedicated to: @onyxoverride (thank you for beta reading) & @saintdabi

you can’t remember the last time you saw your reflection.

it wasn’t deliberate, the way you turned your back to the full length mirror in your closet every morning when you got dressed, how you usually dodged your reflection coming out of the shower like you did just now. at least, not at first. not until you realized how much better you felt now that you didn’t have to come face to face with a stranger everyday. that was the only word to describe whatever lived in the mirror. a stranger. any recognizable part of you had rotted away long ago. all that remained now was an empty husk with dead eyes and a selfish heart. the same selfish heart that set you on this path in the first place. 

was it worth it? you wanted to ask your past self. was his love worth what you did to yourself?

the very first night you met sakusa set the tone for the rest of your relationship. you’re still not entirely sure why you accepted your roommate, hinata’s, invitation to his team’s party to celebrate their record win streak. it probably had something to do with the puppy dog eyes he threw you. regardless, you went, wearing an outfit you were losing confidence in by the second and leaning against a wall as far from the drunk crowd as you could get. you never liked parties like this. too many people, too loud. but for your best friend, you were willing to grit your teeth and bare it. 

a part of you, larger than you would ever admit, wishes you never looked to your left that day. wishes that you never spotted the curly haired man looking so sullen despite half his face being covered with a mask, that you didn’t notice the way his eyes flickered from his empty red cup to where you knew the kitchen to be, how he wearily eyed the crowd of people that separated him from it. 

“i was about to grab a drink. i can bring something back for you if you’d like?” the first thing you ever said to the love of your life was a lie. you were planning on staying tucked in your corner all night, safe from the dancing drunks who had no concept of personal space until hinata was ready to leave. and yet the words were almost ripped out of you the moment your eyes landed on him, a fierce need to help the man flaring up from nowhere. you could only assume he had separated himself from the party for the same reason you had and it pulled on your heartstrings. no one ever noticed when you needed help so why not extend that courtesy to him instead? he blinked at you as though he had to process your offer before he nodded. 

“yes, please i’d appreciate it.” his voice was different than you expected it to be. slow and calm despite the way his fist clenched and unclenched.  “just water. a closed bottle if you can find it.” 

his brows furrowed for a moment when you held out your hand before letting out a quiet ah and handing you his empty cup. it was endearing how he placed it in your hand, balancing it carefully on your palm. 

“be right back.” you shot him a smile and started to make your way across the floor, getting pushed and jostled the entire way there. you made quick work of tossing the garbage into the overflowing trash bag and dug out two water bottles from behind a rack of beer cans in the fridge. the trip back was no easier and you breathed a sigh of relief when you were once again in your small private bubble with the man. the discomfort you endured, the skin crawling sensation of all those bodies too close to you was worth the way his eyes lit up when he saw you’d returned. 

he accepted the cool bottle with a murmured thanks, pulling his mask down and tucking it under his chin. handsome was your first thought and his name was your second. the two distinct moles on his brow should’ve given it away that you were talking to sakusa kiyoomi. you’d seen enough of hinata’s games, heard enough stories to put a name to the face. he held your stare as you placed him in your mind, taking a sip from the bottle as he did. an urge to say something, anything to keep those eyes on you bubbled up hot and fast and you said the first thing that came to mind. 

“my roommate’s your teammate.” 

“is he? which one?” 

“hinata. shoyo.” you added as though there was another hinata on the msby roster.

“ah. my condolences.” the corner of his lips quirked up when you snorted. “i’ve seen how he leaves a locker room. i don’t want to imagine what his room looks like.” 

“it’s not pretty, that’s for sure.” you said, leaning your shoulder against the wall and taking a moment to regard him. “can i ask why you’re here? shoyo told me you don’t like crowds so a party must be hard on you.” 

“would you believe me if i said contractual obligations?” 

“nope cause i helped shoyo go through his contract and i don’t remember ragers being a part of the deal.” a small burst of pride bloomed in your chest when he laughed, a quick huff from his nose and amused eyes as though he didn’t expect it. 

“you got me.” you waited for him to explain and deflated a bit when he remained silent. that is, until you followed where his eyes had wandered. it was easy to spot hinata from across the party. he sat high above the rest of the crowd on bokuto’s shoulders, leaning back occasionally to test bokuto’s reaction time and giggling every time he was caught at the last moment. meian was trying in vain to pull the ginger down while atsumu seemed to be on facetime with someone recording the whole thing, his loud laughter ringing out clearly over the music. 

“you’re here for them?” you said just as the realization dawned on you. sakusa twitched, so small you wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t been watching him so closely. 

“spending time with your teammates promotes better gameplay on the court.” 

“i’m sure it does. but wanting to hang out with your friends isn’t a crime.” 

“we are hanging out. i’m here, aren’t i? if they wanted to talk to me, they know where to find me.” the bitterness in his tone wasn’t enough to mask the acceptance behind his words, of being resigned to his fate as the forgotten one. 

“well, i found you.” he looked over at you, something unreadable swimming behind his eyes before they softened.

“yeah. you did. you know, you’ve talked a lot about shoyo but i don’t know anything about you. i don’t even know your name.” he said. heat raced to your cheeks, flustered that he seemed to be paying as much attention to you that you were to him.

“i didn’t even notice, sorry.” you said before offering your name. he repeated it back, once, twice, rolling it around on his tongue and you watched his mouth, mesmerized by how it curled around a word you’ve heard your whole life until it sounded new again. he spoke your name in a soft, hushed whisper and you wondered if his lips would feel just as soft. half-lidded, his gaze flickered downwards like he was wondering the same thing.

the rest of the night was a blur in your mind. all you could recall was that you chatted with sakusa until the others found you and you drove a passed-out hinata home with a new contact saved to your phone.  

the reminiscing left you drained, clutching your phone in your hands, the screen frozen on that same contact as you collapsed into bed and yet you couldn’t stop the rest of the memories from flooding through your mind, the truth you’ve been holding off for too long. you’ve picked at a festering wound that was best left alone. if you didn’t think too hard about it, if you ignored how it grew and ate away at you, it wouldn’t hurt as much. right? but it was too late. you’ve pulled the string and now you’re left to deal with your own unraveling. 

you scrolled through your texts for what feels like a lifetime, the entirety of your relationship flashing by and disappearing in an instant until you could scroll no higher. of course you sent the first text. a formal message that didn’t look anything like how you actually text with one too many exclamation points in your desperation to come across friendly. 

your fingers moved across the screen and when your mind caught up, your thumb was hovering over the button to delete the entire conversation. you never wanted to see evidence of who you used to be ever again. you didn’t want to be reminded of the person you cut and broke and killed until they fit into sakusa’s neat life. but sentimentality stilled your hand, the phone dropping from your limp fingers and crashing to the floor. you didn’t bother reaching for it.

the accursed memories refuse to let you be, another bobbing up to the surface from the murky depths and pulling you under before you could stop it. one that showed what little agency you had in your own life.

it started the way it always did. you noticed him. noticed how tired he was every time you spoke. how you went from going out on dates to always staying in to maybe being lucky enough to say good night over the phone before he crashed for the day. and sure, you were lonely. so starved for him it ached. but that was overshadowed by your worry for him. you would lay awake wondering if he’d remember to eat that day, if he had the energy to clean his apartment and if he didn’t, how much was that adding to his stress? 

so you swung by his place the next morning after he had left for practice, spent the day cleaning, restocked his fridge and were nearly done making dinner when he returned. his exhaustion was truly hammered home when he walked straight past the kitchen on autopilot before doubling back, tilting his head at you in confusion. 

“what are you doing here, darling?” 

“helping out.” you turned back to the stove and busied yourself with mindless stirring, afraid that you’d been too eager and overstepped. “you seemed pretty tired these days so i wanted to do something for you but you’re back earlier than i expected so i can just go if you want to be alone just let me-” 

your rambling was cut off when a force barrelled into you and sakusa hugged you tight from behind, head buried in the crook of your shoulder. all at once, whatever anxiety had been growing fled you and you relaxed into his touch. 

“thank you.” it wasn’t the words that made your heart leap to your throat. it was the sincerity, the slight crack at the end that told you he had more he wanted to say but didn’t know how. 

you fell into a routine of going over to his apartment, looking after things, kissing him when he returned and staying over at night. at first, it was once a week. then over the weekend, then every other day. 

“you should move in.” even though you half expected your relationship to take this next step, it still took you by surprise the casual way sakusa brought it up. you weren’t entirely sure if you wanted to move in with him just yet. you built a home with hinata and that apartment meant everything to you, all your happiest memories were made there and oh no sakusa was still waiting for an answer.  

“i should?”

“yeah.” 

and that was the end of it. you were packed and out of hinata’s apartment (because it was his now. his and atsumu’s. not yours, it’ll never be yours again) by the end of the month. most of your things didn’t come with you but that was fine, right? so what if you still felt like a guest in your home even to this day with none of yourself being reflected in the apartment? you got to wake up to see the love of your life every day and that made everything worth it. 

until you started waking up alone.  

extra training, he said. the team drafted new players and he had to get used to their play style, he said. and you believed him, trusted that he’d be home with you if he could. so you took the crushing loneliness and swallowed it down like a bitter pill. you smiled wide when he came home late with only the moon to light your bedroom and let him use your body to rid the stress of the day.

the dead of night was the only time you’d have him all to yourself. you could be greedy for his attention when he was buried inside you. it was easy to pretend you clawed up and down his back because you were caught up in the moment and not because you were desperate to keep him close to you. easy to pretend the tears in your eyes were from pleasure and not from how much you missed his voice. 

and when he was empty and spent, you would stroke his hair until he fell asleep and then, only then, would you whisper all the things you couldn’t tell him during the day. small, meaningless anecdotes that you knew would earn you a wry smile if he was awake to hear them, the one he used when he didn’t want to let on how close he was to laughing. the stolen moments were a salve on your fractured heart but it was never enough to heal it. in the end, when you were once again alone in your too-wide bed, it only served to remind you just how deep the cracks were. 

maybe that’s where you went wrong. you gave away your heart to someone and got nothing in return, nothing to plug up the all-consuming void in your chest. there was nothing left of you. no, that wasn’t quite true. there was nothing good left of you. you gave him your best parts and all you had now was pure resentment that burned hot and fierce in your core, so acidic it ate everything in its path. it burned away the dredges of your soul until all you could do was allow it to climb up and scorch your throat in a silent scream. 

another memory. it’s strange what your brain chose to latch onto as you spiralled. on the surface, you remember this to be a happier time. but as it overtook you, you’re reminded almost violently that the edges of this memory are stained with the early decay of your identity. 

before the early mornings and late nights, before you got into the habit of staring at your ceiling and wondering how you got to that point, you and sakusa had a tradition. you’d both find something, a story, a movie, that you think the other doesn’t know and share it with them. that day sakusa came to you with the myth of orpheus and eurydice. 

he told you the story of a man so in love with his wife he journeys to the underworld after she dies to find her, how hades tells him he can guide her to the land of the living but orpheus must trust that eurydice is following him. if he turns around, eurydice’s fate is sealed. sakusa explained how in every version of the myth, orpheus turned around at the very end out of an uncontrollable, unfiltered love for his wife. whether it was because he was excited to see the end of the tunnel and wanted to share his joy with her or because he feared she got lost, either one stems from the love he has for her. the love that sent him to find her is the same love that doomed her in the end. but the more sakusa spoke about orpheus, the more you wondered about the other protagonist of the story. 

“why didn’t eurydice try to let orpheus know she was there? she could’ve held his hand or touched his back or something.” you asked. you were laying your head on sakusa’s chest, letting the low rumble wash over you as he read you the tale. the question had been bugging you as the story came to its conclusion though you couldn’t place your finger as to why.

“she was a spirit. she would pass right through him.” 

“yeah but…” you searched for the words to explain your confusion. “she didn’t even try.” 

“it wouldn’t have mattered either way.” 

you opened your mouth to press the issue further, too stubborn to let it go just yet when you heard sakusa sigh out of his nose. it was enough for any question to die on your tongue and all that came out was a quiet, “i guess so.” 

it was a nothing memory. an empty thing to remind you of better times that you’ve had no need to look back on. so why did that moment swirl around your head now, as you crumbled in your lowest moments? scattered pieces start to form together in the recesses of your mind but before you could call them forth to make a full image, the bedroom door swung open and sakusa walked in. 

for once, you don’t slip on your well worn porcelain mask. you don’t school your expression and force it to mold into something that couldn’t quite be called happy. instead, you sat up straight in bed, held his gaze and did nothing to hide the maelstrom of hurt that raged inside you. a sick satisfaction shot through your veins when his steps faltered at the force of your stare. 

“what’s wrong?” he asked. 

what isn’t? you thought but instead said, “nothing. i was just thinking. about us.” 

“oh.” his eyes are already sliding away from you, a quiet detachment in his voice that made you grind your teeth in frustration. 

“remember that greek story you told me about?” 

“mhmm.” 

“tell me again why eurydice didn’t reach out.” there it is again. a short, sharp exhale from his nose. he opened his mouth but you spoke before he could. “humour me.”

“she was dead, darling. she couldn’t touch him, he couldn’t hear her so there was no point.” 

“no point? there was no point in trying to tell orpheus that she was behind him? he climbed into the underworld for her and she couldn’t try?” 

“could you--?” he cut himself off and pinched the bridge of his nose. “it’s late. i’m exhausted and really not in the mood so can we go to bed?” 

“doesn’t that sound familiar?” you continued as though he hadn’t spoken. “one person bending heaven and hell for the person they love while the other can’t even meet them halfway. remind you of anything?” 

now you had his full attention. his brows scrunched together and you’re not sure if he’s trying to figure out the meaning behind your words or the reason for your hostile tone. you don’t feel like helping him out either and instead watched the gears turn in his head with something akin to glee. it’s his turn to be paranoid, to overthink, to pick apart every moment of your relationship and dissect it piece by rotted piece. 

“please don’t be vague. if you’re upset with me, tell me.” it was the most emotion you’ve heard from him in so long, you were taken aback for a moment. 

“i’m a bit past ‘upset’, omi.”

“i’m sorry.”

you scoffed. “you don’t even know what you’re apologizing for.” 

“you’re hurt and it’s my fault. that's enough for me to say sorry.” 

“you don’t understand.” he crossed the room in three large strides, sitting on the edge of the bed to leave space between you. 

“then help me understand.” 

you floundered for the right words to explain the mountain of revelations you’ve uncovered and settled for, “how do i take my coffee, kiyoomi?” 

he took your use of his full name in stride. “black. one sugar.” 

“no that’s how you take your coffee. that’s the only way you ever make coffee. i had to learn to like it.” 

“what, you’re mad i don’t know how you like your coffee?” you know he didn’t mean anything by it, that’s he's always been more blunt that he means to be but it doesn’t stop you from feeling patronized and the hurt loosened your tongue. 

“it’s not about the coffee! it’s not about the fact that eurydice was a ghost. it’s the effort, omi. you haven’t put an ounce of effort into this relationship. i’m the one who has to bend. i’m the one that has to change, it’s never you.” 

“i never asked you to.” the truth of the statement knocked the air out of your lungs. because that's the worst part, isn’t it? you have no one to blame your misery on but yourself. 

“i don’t know how to love you without sacrificing pieces of myself. and i’m empty, kiyoomi, i've given you all of me. and it feels like you’ve given me nothing in return.”  

his head was bowed while he listened but from how tight he laced his fingers together, you know he was fighting to stay calm. “you know i love you, right?”

“do you? do you love me or love that i’m convenient? love that i clean your place and make you food and have a hole you can--” 

“stop.” you didn’t know it was possible for so much heartbreak to be packed into a single word. it sobered you of your venom and in its place, shame came rushing in. 

“i’m sorry. i'm pissed at myself for letting it get this far and i’m taking it out on you. i don’t regret loving you. but it feels like that’s the only thing living inside me. like i’m not even a person anymore.”

“i should’ve noticed. it shouldn’t have taken you snapping for me to realize what was going on.” 

“maybe.” 

silence, suffocating silence, stretched and morphed time until it felt like you’ve aged a decade in a moment. and then sakusa spoke.

“you’ll help a stranger just because they look like they might need it and ask for nothing in return. you’ll make someone food just so you can be sure they ate that day. you’ll tell me about your day while i fall asleep and i don’t think i could sleep without hearing your voice. you’re kind and too selfless for your own good and the best person i’ve ever met. it kills me that i’ve been the cause of your pain.”

it was strange hearing those traits spun in a good light when you’ve thought of them negatively for so long. strange knowing where you saw faults he saw things worth admiring. “you hear me at night?” 

“and you like focusing on minor details. yes, darling. every night.” 

“oh.” 

“i understand if you need… space, if you want to spend some time apart. but give me a chance. please. give me a chance to prove how important you are to me. i’m sorry that i’ve failed you. i’m sorry i've been taking you for granted. but that ends now. never again. 

“and i can help you, too. i can remind you of all the parts you say you’ve lost. i’ll tell you all about the person i fell in love with everyday if you need it. i’d never run out of things to say. please. you found me once, let me return the favour and help you find yourself. if-if you’ll have me.” 

his small speech wasn’t the reason tears stung the back of your eyes. as he finished speaking, sakusa reached out across the space between you and offered you his hand. a lifeline that you took, the lump in your throat to keeping everything you wanted to say stuck inside you. thankfully, you needed no words for sakusa to understand you. he brought your joined fingers to his lips and let out a shaky breath against them. the two of you stayed like that for a small eternity, drifted apart yet holding together with a bridge to link you. you’ve been fueled by resentment and anger for so long, you weren’t sure if you were strong enough to let them go. but you did know that you didn’t want to try without him by your side. 

[imaginethebeautifulworld]

Let’s say England has a long-term girlfriend he knows isn’t the biggest fan of marriage bc her family had been really really pushy (before she got the heck out of dodge) about her marrying + reproducing ASAP. How might he react if she came to him and said she was kinda starting to like the general concept of marrying him — that is, the whole ‘together forever’ bit. Thanks!

I confess darling that I have been trying to finish this prompt for well over a year, and I offer my sincerest apologies that it’s taken me this long to finish it. Still, despite my tardiness, I hope you enjoy, and I thank you for your patience with me.

You had never intended to fall in love, not with the constant push of your relatives to fall in line like a perfect child.

First, marriage to someone they deemed acceptable, raising the perfect 2.5 children, followed by quietly settling into parenthood and complaisant contentment until the day you last drew breath.

Truth of the matter was, you had avoided all chances of romance for the first few years after you moved away from home, carefully slipping away from anyone who seemed remotely interested in you.

You knew your folks would have disproved such behaviour had they learnt the truth, but you couldn’t find it in your heart to care. You had your own dreams to pursue, your own story to tell, your own life to live; you didn't need someone by your side to feel complete.

You were happy as you were, finding enjoyment in your work and figuring out your place in the world.

You didn’t need, or frankly want, anything more than that.

That was of course until you met him.

Falling in love with Arthur Kirkland had been a complete accident. He slipped past all of your defenses and took up residence in your heart as if he had always belonged there.

It started out slow enough; at first you simply knew him as a familiar face from the cafe in Waterstones, steaming cup of Darjeeling and a chocolate croissant sitting forgotten on the table in front of him, always too focused on his reading to pay any attention to the outside world. After one particularly crowded Sunday afternoon, he began to transition into your favorite dining companion, the two of you often taking turns paying for each other’s food. Slowly but surely, you began forgetting about your books, too wrapped up in conversation, and before you knew it-

You had come to love every part of him- the gentleman that you begrudgingly introduced to your parents, the rebellious and passionate activist, the cocky and playful little shit who had long ago memorised all the best ways to disarm you, and the ancient soul who cared so deeply, who still stretched himself thin most days in effort to protect each of his loved ones.

You fell in love with his voice, whispering sonnets and sonatas and sweet nothings in your ear while his arms cradled you from behind.

You fell in love with his eyes, still losing your footing sometimes when the light caught them just right, dreaming momentarily of summer forests and grassy glades and the misty dews of spring.

You fell in love with his smiles, from the satisfied grin at stirring up Peter’s ire to the breathless wonder each time you kissed or complimented him, to the bright, beautiful, blinding smile he wore when he was incandescently happy, his entire countenance iridescent from his joy.

You loved him completely- for his devotion, for his sweet gestures, for his damned impishness, for his wit, his sass, and the soft spoken affection.

You loved him: for his patience, for his recklessness, for his resilience, for his possessive pride that was somehow more charming than alarming.

He was unique, an enigma that, even after having lived together for years and dating even longer, kept you on your toes, his energy and random spouts of spontaneity proving to you that, even if you spent one hundred lifetimes with him, he would always remain a puzzle you would never fully solve.

And by God did you want to.

Arthur had stolen your heart away from you before you had even noticed he was close enough to take it, offering his own in its stead.

You had remained reluctant, confided in him your fears about settling down, how much you dreaded becoming trapped in a monotonous rut of tedium. He was quick to reassure you, showing through words and actions far more impassioned and teasing than he had ever shown prior, that an eternity with him could never be boring.

Even on quiet days, like today, with a steady drizzle painting the world in greys, Arthur humming quietly while adding another patch to his denim vest, and no other disturbance apart from the cat’s chittering at the robins playing in a puddle by the iron fence- Even now, you weren’t so much bored as you were pensive.

You had been thinking about a future with him a lot in the past few days, some irrelevant ad on your mobile about wedding venues catching your attention and slithering into the back of your mind.

What kind of wedding would he like? Would Arthur prefer something small and intimate, or would his hubris crave a larger venue, giving him yet another chance to prove to the world that he belonged at your side, no one else?  You couldn’t help but wonder if he would wear his uniform or a suit, if he would leave the rats' nest he called a hairstyle untouched, or if he would perhaps slick it back in that way that somehow made the normal rakishness disappear, a confident, refined cavalier standing in his place.

You knew of course that none of this mattered unless you actually talked to him first; as far as you were aware, he was content with the current arrangement, and he respected your views of marriage.

He had known, for a long time, just where the grim outlook stemmed from, and he never breached the subject again.

But now-

You had thought it was enough to hold his love, his faith, his vulnerabilities. But life was so fleeting, and now those few things were no longer enough.

You wanted to wake up every morning next to him, wanted the cheesy partners’ towel and flip flop sets. You wanted the physical reminder that you held his heart, the comforting reminder that he completely possessed your own. You wanted to be by his side forever, holding his hand through the good and the ill, facing new worlds and challenges and the uncertain future together.

You knew the risks, of course.

Marriage to a Nation carried an even heavier burden than the simple oath of “till death do us part.”

No, marrying Arthur would mean weaving your entire lives together, binding you on a spiritual level far surpassing mortality; it would mean sacrificing your chance to ever grow old, to eternally give yourself away: heart, mind, body, and soul.

But this was Arthur, who sang showtunes in the shower, who spent hours making silly faces at the cat, who was ridiculously competitive about Halloween costumes, the man who sat down and memorised the entirety of The Tempest in one night just for the bragging rights.

He already owned your heart, constantly invaded your thoughts and daydreams, and God knew he had long, long ago claimed your body, making certain not a single millimeter of his new territory went unexplored.

Would it really be so bad to give him your soul, too?

Glancing back up, seeing his eyes narrowed in concentration, his fingers handling the needle with expert precision, lips slightly parted, reading glasses fallen halfway down his nose-

You knew your answer.

It was always going to be Arthur for you, only Arthur.

Forever, should he have you.

But now you faced the challenge of telling him that.

It should be simple enough; you really held no more secrets from him, and he no longer bothered trying to hide anything from you. You loved how open you were with one another, cherished the honesty that served as the very foundation to your relationship.

But the truth was that you were terrified.

It had been so long since either of you had spoken of marriage, since the topic was even a thought in your minds, and-

What if he didn't want you anymore?

What if he-

"I can see the steam coming outta your ears."

The unexpected presence of Arthur's voice startled you, eyes darting back over to the very man who was unwittingly tormenting you.

He had barely moved from his earlier position, though his glasses had been pushed up into his hair and he was studying you curiously, if not bemusedly.

"You good there?"

By default, you nearly responded with an affirmative, some playful, lighthearted thing that would have dismissed his concern immediately. You cut yourself off mid-start, then, while shifting to sit properly in the armchair, you decided to push forward. "Can we talk?"

You watched as his expression shifted, revealing his concern as he tied off his thread, setting aside the patchwork and gestured for you to join him on the sofa.

There were a few awkward moments where you took up your favourite positions, Arthur tossing an afghan across the pair of you despite your insistence that you didn't need one, the flicker of a grin as you begrudgingly thanked him, and then shifting around as you both got comfortable, but soon enough-

"Alright, now; talketh at-eth me."

It was impossible to fight the smile his choice of words triggered, a reference to an inside joke so old now that you could scarcely recall its origin. Seeming to deem it a success, his own soft, reassuring smile greeted you.

"Seriously though, luv-" His hand came to rest atop your own, his fingers gently tapping a familiar rhythm against your skin. "What's troubling you?"

You were half-tempted to offer something short of sincerity, something innocuous and mundane that you could both laugh over and forget again within a few hours. Yet, you knew that if you didn't tell him now, didn't ask him now, you would never find the courage again.

"I've been thinking-"

"Ah. A scary premise in its own right."

"Oh, shut up," you retorted to his tease, smacking his arm for his troubles. He rewarded you with a grin, all fondness and mischief. Opting to ignore him, you pressed on, eyes downcast to avoid whatever judgement he may offer.

"As I was trying to say earlier, before I was so rudely interrupted-" The teasing fell off, and the worry crept back in. "I've been thinking. About us."

"O-oh?"

Were you not so consumed by your own anxieties, you would have noticed his stutter, would have seen the sudden tension in his posture, the fear in his eyes. As it was, you were completely oblivious to all of it, and made yourself continue at his prompting.

"I- I think I'm ready."

He mimed the word "ready" to himself, parroting it with utter befuddlement. "For wha-"

"I mean, I know I wasn't for such a long time, and-" Suddenly, you were off, half unhinged. Now that you had admitted the truth aloud, it was all rushing out of you, everything you had come to love about him, everything that-

A finger pressing firmly against your lips stopped you mid-tangent, and when you glanced up to find piercing, blazing emerald focused on you as if you were the very center of the universe, whatever remained of your ramblings disappeared entirely.

"What are you trying to say?"

A simple question, so easy to answer, yet it carried with it the weight of Infinities, demanding nothing save the truth, in its most basic state.

You were lost in his gravity, half-drowning in whatever this new feeling was. It was addicting, another riddle to be solved.

"Marry me."

Time stood still, the words weighing heavily in the space between you, now seemingly insurmountable despite being no more than mere decimeters.

Arthur showed no reaction, revealed no indication that he had even heard your plea, your query, your command, your request, and yet it echoed over and over in your own mind, the tone, the weight, the untimeliness-

Every facet- from your inflection to chosen tempo- crescandoed as an accusation, a mocking symphony that he would reject you, that you would be left with only the haunting strains of your ill-conceived proposal.

And yet-

There was a hesitation in his eyes, the face of a man who wanted wholeheartedly to believe what he had heard, but had been burned far too often in the past to dare allow himself hope.

"You-" His eyebrows furrowed, eyes narrowed as he studied you once more, only for the suspicion to disappear again almost immediately, disbelief swiftly taking its place. "You're serious?"

It was then that you finally read his nervousness, understood the strange emotion reflecting in his eyes.

You had lead him to a precipice, the vast Unknown before you both, and-

And he was just as fragile as you were, even if he was better at hiding it.

You gave his hand a light squeeze, hoping to ground you both, and offered him a nod. “If you’ll have me, anyway.”

His eyes flickered between your own, darting back-and-forth so quickly in search of a lie, of any doubts, of any hint that you were less than certain- yet you knew he would find none of that.

“What about your family?”

The question took you by surprise; in the moment, you had completely forgotten anyone else even existed.

You weighed his question carefully. Marrying Arthur would give your family leave to gloat in self-satisfaction, and you knew with absolutely certainty that they would hold it over your head for the next three decades. But looking into the eyes of the man before you, remembering all that you had already seen and done together, you found that others' opinions no longer mattered, really hadn't mattered in a long, long time.

“I couldn’t care less about them. Arth-”

Whatever you were going to say was forgotten as he closed the remaining distance between you, moving so swiftly that you scarcely had a moment to steady yourself before he captured you in a searing kiss, one of his most passionate by far.

Somehow, despite the suddenness of it all, the initial force, the intensity- 

He was being incredibly gentle, and moving slowly enough to almost be more a torment than a treat. Almost.

You found yourself lost in a daze when he finally pulled away, just enough for each of you to catch your breaths, just far enough that he could study you with rapt attention. You could have drowned in his eyes, endless greens magnetizing in their intensity. His hands were still cradling your cheeks, still holding you firmly in place, a not completely foreign expression creasing his features.

You couldn't quite place it, even as your memories shifted desperately in search of its mate.

"'If I'd have you?'" His words, a rhetorical refrain of your own mere moments earlier, were scarcely a shared breath between you, murmured in timbre so low it summoned a shiver. There was the smallest twitch of his lip, his head tilting ever so slightly as more of that damned deviousness made its presence known. "I fully intend to have you regardless, luv. But the formality of it all certainly adds a particular je ne sais quoi, wouldn't you agree?"

You'd be damned if he knew just how that made your heart flutter, if he knew just how much weight that reassurance had lifted from your shoulders.

Carefree, content, you offered a playful smile. "Till death do us part then?"

Arthur no longer bothered trying to restrain his smile, soft and sincere in a way that left you breathless. "I'll love you till even the stars go cold, my dear."

Thanks for reading~

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

The One Where Jensen Ackles Confirmed Cockles in 2016(????) No. Seriously. For real.

this is a DOOZY. strap in folks.

DISCLAIMER: this is chock full of rps. if you are against cockles/jenmish in any way, this post is not for you. however, if you’re like me, ummmmm...

alright. so. we are REALLY in it now, cockles truthers. and make no mistake, i DO NOT want to undersell the significance of what we have found on this glorious day in 2021.

BUT HEY! DISCLAIMER FIRST, THOUGH IT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING! do not EVER bring this to jensen and misha’s attention. do not comment disrespectful things on social media. when cons/panels start again, don’t ask them questions about it. ever!!! that’s super weird, for one thing, and for two, they won’t give you the answer you want anyway! so, yeah. just be decent, y’all. let’s continue. 

so my dear mutual @green-blue-heller made this post today and i promptly lost my mind. in it, they link this video:

as far as i can tell, it’s from VegasCon 2016 but was only unprivated on january 24, 2020(dean winchester’s birthday??? wow ok) for some reason, and we have overlooked it until now. to whoever it was that posted it, THANK you for my reason for being and this delayed gratification five years later. anyway, let’s get into it.

right off the bat, those expressions in the thumbnail kind of tell you all you need to know about what we’re venturing into. i have to thank BOTH jensen AND j*red for being ridiculously transparent. i mean...j*red purposefully avoiding eye contact with jensen and looking at the ceiling with his eyebrows raised sky high? jensen hiding his face in his hands, smiling and blushing like a fool, the misha face™ & grin???

so let’s break down what happens with timestamps and everything.

so! i looked up what the question was, i scoured through the entire Vegas Con video, and here it is:

‘My question is for Jensen and Jared. You guys are both happily married, and I noticed that many people had a hard time explaining how they know their significant other is the one. The one they want to spend the rest of their life with, the one that they want to be with, and so, I wanted to ask you guys, how did you know that your current- who you’re with now(audience laughter cuts the rest of the question off and it’s unintelligible)’ ….i’m solidly guessing that the end of that question boils down to ‘was the one’. (....i...uhhhh....have some thoughts on how this question affected jensen, and i will be going into them later.)

Jared: *laughs* Jared, Jensen. When did you first meet your future ex-wives?

*both of them laugh*

Jared: I’m just kidding-I get what you’re trying to say and thank you, um...I, uh, I guess my current wife, uh-

*both laugh again*

Jensen: (sarcastically) Let’s start with her.

Jared: (repeats) Let’s start with her. I, uh, I...you said something kinda, uh, amazing in your question, which is that a lot of people have a tough time or a difficult time explaining to their significant others or to themselves what it is. And I guess I feel that I have no way to possibly explain it to myself or to her... I remember that I had been in a relationship and that I was single and I was like ‘I am not interested in getting in a relationship’ and then she and I went on a date and I was like, ‘I can’t go anywhere else. I’m not interested.’ So, that was kinda what, um, what started it for me *clears throat loudly* Uh. Yeah, I just feel like (searching for words) she makes me a better person-there are a lot of people that make you a better person, and so that’s not enough, I don’t think-or maybe it is, who knows-um...I don’t know, I can’t really...if I could explain, I’d be a poet.

here’s where things start to get interesting. before jared says ‘If I could explain, I’d be a poet,’ Jensen’s face looks like this:

stoic, thoughtful, composed. and then AFTER jared says that his face makes THIS little journey:

go watch it for yourself. this man is ridiculous. in terms of body language? he gazes up and AWAY from jared. it is a private thought, he is not sharing in jared’s joke with him, if at all. it is his own personal musings that make his face LIGHT up like that. this fool looks lovestruck!!! this fool is lovestruck!!!

now, i think it goes without saying, but there is an obvious cockles reason that springs to mind for this reaction. (hint: misha is a poet. that’s it, that’s the reason.) i don’t think jared intentionally said this with misha in mind, but jensen’s thoughts IMMEDIATELY went there. whether or not this is because he was already planning on answering and hinting at his relationship with misha before jared says this, which i think he was-you can certainly see the wheels turning in jensen’s head before this moment-his brain involuntarily makes the connection and it shows in his glowing smile. after that remark...jensen’s gone. he’s whipped. and he HAS to say something about it. 

continuing from where we left off:

Jared: ...and I would love to be a poet. (thought it would be fun to mention that at this point Jensen catches what his face did and immediately looks over to Jared and WIPES the expression of his face...but it’s too late, because someone recorded it, i saw it, and now i’m writing about it five years later)

Jared: But uhh…

Jensen: (interrupting) Just tap me when you want me to take over. 

i think that jensen is simultaneously joking and is also more than ready to say what he’s been composing in his head diligently for the last thirty or so seconds. he has made up his mind, and is now ready to drop the bomb on us.

*audience laughs, Jared playfully swats at him*

Jared: Uh… *thinks in silence for a bit* It’s really difficult, it’s really difficult. She makes me feel safe, she makes me feel loved. Uh...when...I’m in a position where I don’t love myself, I know she loves me, you know, um...she’s just an awesome, awesome lady.

*audience claps*

alright! so in terms of my OWN analysis for what’s happened up until this point, the conclusion i have come to is that there was something in the question that was asked that sets jensen’s mind off about misha, and i think it was the ‘the one’ comment. if we’re putting our cockles goggles on, jensen doesn’t HAVE a ‘the one’. he resents thinking like that. i’m also very intuitive, and i get a sense that jensen is an honest person and can’t really tell a convincing lie. i mean...we all saw that horrible airbnb debacle, right? and his slip up when he accidentally confirms that misha woke up and said ‘i miss (maison)’[which how would you know that unless you were...nvm] and became a stammering mess and had to sit down and cover his face. and that misha is always the one to take the lead when it comes to denying clothes sharing, for instance. jensen has never ONCE attempted to explain that away, because i don’t think anyone would believe him, and i think he’s incapable of doing so because he’s not a dishonest person and can’t lie easily. i’m the same way, so to avoid telling a lie i always speak partial truths, and i’m 99% sure jensen is well versed in this talent as well. oh, also, just to really land my point....we all know how he feels about the finale because he can’t make himself speak well on it. he’ll gush about 15x18 and the PEOPLE BEHIND the finale, but he has not uttered one. positive. word. about the actual finale itself. i mean, we all know what he thinks about it. in his own way, he has made his rage glaringly obvious. and i think he’s doing that exact thing here, where he resents the implication that daneel is the only ‘one’ for him, because that’s simply not true, and he can’t and won’t lie about something like that. 

i watched it back again and wrote notes on jensen’s body language as he’s processing the question. here they are:

from 0:13 to 1:21, jensen: 

looks down - tenses face - searching eyes, lost in thought - jared’s comment brings him out of it but it takes a second - fidgets, adjusts clothes, looks at jared - bites the inside of his cheeks and moves tongue around his mouth(pacifying gesture) - eyes start wandering away from jared, looks down and tenses face, looks back at jared - then looks away, eyes and mind far from the panel and pondering the question itself - somewhat wistful expression, gears clearly turning in his head, lips pursed, stops reacting to what jared is saying, fingers start fidgeting, eyes have moved downward as he is lost in thought - something shifts in his brain, he looks to the ceiling, fidgets and adjusts his clothing, squints and seems to resolve an inner thought - slightly comes back down to earth with newfound resolution - and then jared’s ‘i would be a poet’ comment happens while he’s coming down from that

i mean, this obviously doesn’t necessarily mean anything huge(yet), all it shows is that this question took a lot of thinking for him. when you compare it to how jared kind of just dove in? 

anyway; so then jared’s done, he slaps jensen’s thigh to indicate it’s his turn, jensen makes THAT face you see in the thumbnail, jared’s eyebrows raise, jensen looks down and scratches his forehead, and then makes the statement of a lifetime. 

here’s the link for this next part

Jensen: Ummm..I kind of feel like there’s two types of people ..uh..in regards to marriage and the, the one. Uh, it’s the ones that just, just know with an absolute and, and have a certainty of like, this is the one for me, unequivocally. And then there’s those who are, you know, I don’t know, I’m scared, but I’m willing to take that leap of faith with you. And, I kind of find myself in between both of those(...types of people). And uh, and so, it can be a scary endeavour, and it can, and it will certainly have it’s ups and downs, um, but I think it’s a, uh, it’s a bond, and it’s a connection, and it’s a friendship, and it’s a ride, and it’s a journey that, uh, if you’re willing to stick it out with one another, can be an amazing, beautiful thing and I’m glad that I picked the partner and the teammate that I have, so.

i’ll give you like a second to recuperate before we dig in. 

let’s start with both jared and jensen’s body language first, because it wasn’t even the words that clued me in, it was whatever the hell was going on with jared’s face. 

i really wish i could gif, but i can only attempt to convey the SPEED and VIGOUR with which jared snaps his head toward jensen. 

these pictures are objectively hilarious because you can see the entire mental journey that jared goes on. he was aloof and kind of relaxed because he was done, it’s jensen’s turn now, he’s surely not gonna out himself with this question right? and then jensen goes ahead and says ‘there are two-’ and jared instantly zones right into jensen with a look of horror on his face, that he tries to contain, but does so unsuccessfully. that is the face of a man who is internally freaking out, thought to himself ‘did he seriously just say...’ and is kind of staring at the culprit in shock and awe.

i know that’s what’s happening, because this is not the first time we’ve seen him react like this to something jensen has said. the classic head whip. a few examples, just off the top of my head:

1. ‘he has, hasn’t he?’ 

2. ‘he sounds like that in the morning’ ‘how do you know’ 

3. when he whips his head around when he notices jensen’s face(and instantly understands when he realizes it’s misha)

so yeah, i’m sure you get it by now. jared can’t really keep it off of his face. there’s no real analyzing to be done here...it’s just an obvious tell on his part. there’s no real reason for him to have reacted this way if jensen was saying something inconspicuous, is there? he would have continued to just kind of space out if jensen hadn’t just said something jarringly questionable. 

as for jensen’s body language, i can’t really tell where he’s looking from either angle of both videos i’ve seen. sometimes it seems like he’s looking straight at jared, and maybe nods at him once, but he could also(and is most likely) looking at the fan who asked the question. i don’t think there’s anything particularly telling about his body language because i think he rehearsed his answer in his head and also, he’s not shying away because he’s not lying about anything. like...everything he’s saying is true, so he’s not going to have any tells. and it’s the fact that he is TELLING THE TRUTH that is freaking jared out.

now for what he actually says. because oh my god. 

right off the bat, he says “i kind of feel like there’s two types of people..” and first off, what? what does that even mean? if you think of it in terms of ‘this is about daneel and only daneel’....isn’t this a realllyyyyy strange thing to start out with? objectively? the question that was asked to him was ‘how did you know they were the one?’ and he goes ‘actually there’s TWO types of people’ ...like, jensen never answers the question at hand. 

and then he goes “in regards to marriage and the one”. i hope i’m not the only one who noticed he said the words ‘the one’ in a resentful and kind of degrading tone? seriously, listen to it again. he seems like he’s almost mocking that sentiment. i swear i’m not making it up, it really sounds like that to me. 

and then he says “-it’s the ones that just, just know with an absolute and, and have a certainty of like, this is the one for me, unequivocally. And then there’s those who are, you know, I don’t know, I’m scared, but I’m willing to take that leap of faith with you.” *NON TINHAT VERSION OF EVENTS* what he could mean, i guess, is he was both scared to be with daneel but also knew she was the one for him. which....ok. alright. *TINHAT BACK ON* first off, there’s absolutely no risk with daneel. that’s not a judgement, because i love her; it’s just true. she’s a pretty, talented, amazing woman and they are very much in love. i’m not sure what risks he’s taking there. next up: pretty strange wording then, don’t you think? idk, if it were you, and you wanted to get that point across, wouldn’t you use words like ‘she both scared me and i knew i wanted to be with her at the same time’ and NOT this convoluted mess of ‘there’s two types of people and they are both drastically different but also one and the same’? 

SECOND OF ALL, as many people have pointed out.....he never uses pronouns. this is strange. jared does. jared says gen’s name, even. and uses ‘she’ and ‘her’. jensen never once does that, he practically refuses to do so. and yes, i fully believe it is entirely intentional.

because if you look at this phrase from a cockles lens it makes more sense then if you do not. 

the one that jensen knows, unequivocally, with the utmost certainty, is the one for him, no doubts, no risks; is daneel. the one that he doesn’t know about, is scared of being with, but is willing to take that leap of faith anyway; is misha. and all of a sudden the puzzle pieces fall into place.

because he goes on to say “I kind of find myself in between both of those.” 

he doesn’t say ‘i find myself in between both of those...with her.’ nope. he’s just...in between. caught in the middle. of those two types of people. translation: of those two people. mish. dee. 

“And it can be a scary endeavour, and it will certainly have it’s ups and downs, but I think it’s a bond, and it’s a connection, and it’s a friendship, and it’s a ride, and it’s a journey...” 

every single one of those words can be applied to more than one person. think about it. bond(between three people). connection(between three people). friendship(between three people!!!). there’s no ‘partnership’ in here, which does only apply to two people. 

lastly, “i’m glad i picked the partner and the teammate that i have.”

ok, look. you can easily say that it’s just one person he’s talking about here! of course you can. but this is jensen ackles we’re talking about. jensen ‘rock and pebble’ ackles. jensen ‘mish. dee.’ ackles. so yes. i definitely think that ‘the partner and the teammate’ fall into this category. and i think daneel is the partner and misha is the teammate. 

to put it matter-of-factly: you simply cannot prove that this isn’t about a poly relationship. there is absolutely nothing he says that makes it obvious he is talking about one person here. because he isn’t. 

i just feel like, in the simplest terms, if this were about only daneel, that he would not be using these weird phrases that are half-hidden truths. just to compare, i watched another panel where pretty much the exact same question was asked, minus the whole ‘the one’ debacle, and, just as i suspected, it was an entirely different answer. he talks about the moment where he knew he liked her. her, specifically. says the name daneel. gushes about her. there’s no tiptoeing and weird pronoun usage and vague terminology. 

tl; dr : i think he answered the question this way because there is no ‘the one’ in his life. and he is physically incapable of leaving misha out when talking about ‘the one’ because he has TWO ‘the ones’. and he wants to answer the question to the best of his best ability, but lying is unnatural to him. he will talk about daneel at length and misha at length, but i honestly to my core don’t think you could make him choose between the two. oh! and we literally had confirmation all the way back in fucking 2016, we just never paid attention until now. so......thanks, jensen?

sorry, this got super long, but i hope i warned you well enough. 

[harryhoney-bee]

Heyy...Thankyou sooo much for answering my previous ask (the indian pregnancy one) it was soooo good!!!!....can you please write a one shot about the first time harry met the indian readers parents...Hope you have/had a good day!!

Just like I do - desi!reader

Summary: Harry meets reader's parents for the first time

Word count: 1.1k

A/n: Thanks to my bff @sunandherflores for helping me with the hindi and the detais, I wouln't be able to write this without youu, my bestie also had a lot of desi!reader fics, so so check it out <33

Y/n had finally arranged a date to introduce Harry to her parents, she was over the moon, Harry, otherwise, was very anxious. “I don’t wanna look dumb in front of your parents,” he confessed after Y/n asked for the third time what was wrong.

“Harry, baby, look at me,” she took his cheek on her hands, which were decorated with henna from the wedding she went to one week ago. “They will love you, just like I do, they know how much you take care of me, and I talk about you all the time, they know you are a good person.”

“But what if they don’t, baby.” Y/n raised her eyebrows, Harry was acting more anxious than she was expecting, of course, meeting your girlfriend’s parents wasn’t a ride in the park, but damn he was sweating.

“Harry, talk to me, why are you so scared, you normally do well in those situations, is there something wrong? We can reschedule it to another day if you want-”

Harry interrupted her with a gentle kiss on her mouth, even though it was just a peck, it was enough to stain his lips with red lipstick. “I don’t want to reschedule, baby, I’m sorry if I made it sound that way, I just love you, and I want your parents to like me too, they mean a lot to you, so they also mean a lot to me.”

“I know we’ve been parked in front of their house for the last 10 minutes, but I just need a few moments to….man up, alright?” Harry looked to his lap again, but this time he took her hand on his own, caressing the skin with his thumb.

She tried to hold her laugh, trying to respect his feelings. “Alright, I’ll be here with you throughout your whole man-up moment,” she said, playfully pushing him to the side with her shoulder, trying to see if she could make him smile a bit.

“Also, we are having your favorite dish, chicken biryani," she told him, trying to persuade Harry. "If you think the one I cook is good you should try maa's (mom), she never told me what special ingredients she put in her food to make it better than anyone's else's."

"Oh I do love chicken biryani," he said smiling. "Ok, I think that gave me all the motivation I needed, are you ready?"

"I am, just let me do something–" Y/n quickly cleaned his mouth from her lipstick with her thumb. The cosmetic didn't leave his face completely, but his lips were naturally pink enough for the lipstick to blend in. "–and done, let's go, I'm so excited for you to meet them!"

Harry opened his car door before going to Y/n's side and opening her door for her. Y/n was wearing a dark red skirt and a yellow cropped blouse, Y/n wanted to be a bit dressed up for the situation. Harry was also looking very handsome, wearing a casual chic outfit, with a dark blue blazer.

They intertwined their hands together as Y/n led them to her childhood house. Her mom was eager to see her, she could see her face through the window, as if she was there this whole time, just waiting for them to come in. The older woman barely let Y/n ring the doorbell, she opened it eagerly, a beautiful smile on her face.

"Beta!" (Loving way to call your kid). "Finally you are here, your papa and I have been missing you so much." She hugged her daughter, kissing her cheeks. "You look so pretty!"

Y/n laughed. "Maa, you are acting like we haven't seen each other for ages, we went out for lunch a week ago."

"A week ago is a lifetime in a mother's life, babu," (Loving way to call your kid) she said playfully sternly. "Now who is this fine young man, Harry, right?"

Harry was surprised when his mother-in-law came from a hug, but once the surprise was over he hugged her back, looking at y/n with a look that expressed "Am I doing it right?". Y/n gave him a thumbs up, trying to keep him calm.

"Hm, hi Mrs, thank you for having me, it is a great pleasure to meet you," he said, smiling when she also kissed his cheek.

"Oh my darling, cut the formality, I've been dying to meet you, Y/n told amazing things about you! Come in please!" Y/n’s mom took Harry by the hand and brought him inside the house, Y/n followed them, feeling the amazing smell of the food she grew up with filling her heart with warmth.

"Papa, hi!" Y/n say once they stepped in the kitchen, her dad was finishing cooking food as he turned around.

"Babu, come here, give your papa a hug." Y/n did so, wrapping her arms around her dad. "Don't be a stranger, you need to come here more often!"

"I know papa, I will don't worry. But now there is someone I want to introduce to you!" She called Harry, who was in the back of the room with her mom. "This is Harry, the one I talked to you about." Y/n placed a comforting hand on Harry's back.

"Hi sir, I'm Harry, it's a pleasure to finally meet you," he shook Harry's hand, before pulling him closer and patting his back.

"My daughter talks about you like you are a piece of the moon, Harry, I hope she is not exaggerating in any way, she deserves only the best," he said, sounding friendly, but still serious.

"I can guarantee to you, your daughter is one of my priorities. I wouldn't treat her with anything but love and respect. She is also a piece of the moon to me."

Y/n felt her cheeks warm, no matter how many times Harry told her how special she was, she was still not used to it.

"Good, Harry. Let's all eat them, the table is ready, and the food is too, I hope you will enjoy our dinner."

"I sure will, sir, don't worry." Y/n winked at Harry before sitting on the table, the man taking a seat right by her side, putting a gentle hand on her thigh.

"You are doing great!" She whispered while her parents weren't looking. "Thank you for caring so much about this."

"Don't say thank you, darling, I love you, I'm glad I'm here," he said.

The rest of the night was filled with amazing food, music, and stories about Y/n's mom and dad’s childhood. Harry didn't know when he would be back, but he hoped soon.