#i try my best to be croniclly offline as possible now and i try my best to share as little as possible | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aly-s0ares · 9 days ago

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in fact, i don’t owe an explanation, but i find it extremely difficult to touch people or to flirt with people if i don’t have any pre existing feelings for them prior. trust is big for me and love bombing doesn’t work like it use to anymore.

i’m very anxious, and i never know if i’m safe with someone so i don’t feel comfortable doing anything until i know that i wont be hurt by them. i’ve been through a lot and sometimes that type of attention can trigger that and it sucks and i know nobody likes it. i don’t even like it but it’s what it is now. i need to trust someone. i can’t force myself into a situation that makes me feel uncomfortable just because it’s annoying to someone else who just doesn’t understand it.

#and the sad thing is #there’s no romance to it #it’s never let’s talk and get to know each other first #let’s go on a date and take this slow and do this RIGHT first #it’s always aww that sucks you’re so pretty you deserve better in fact sleep with me and we can be together #it’s just consoling and then immediately trying to have sex #it’s feels dehumanizing after having something very huminizing being done to me which is a display of empathy #it’s like no matter what i can’t win #either my feelings are a joke or a card game for people to pull and try and get something out of #honestly #if yall don’t genuinely like me and want to genuinely get to know me and do things right #please just leave me alone #i don’t wnat to be bullied by guys who think i’m not worth love or by their girlfriends and i don’t want nice guys who only want one thing #i just wnat connection #i don’t have time or patience for bullshit anymore #i don’t have the lack of self respect for it anymore #i went through a lot in my dating life enough to last a lifetime of lessons #i’m ready for something real #i’m not fucking around anymore and i’m not accepting games #i never wanted to to begin with #and i’ve stayed strong on that despite being played like a chess board.#you never saw me destroy cars or trapping anyone #everything i shared and said was real and came from love (sometimes tough) and care and RESPECT #this is my last post addressing the mistreatment and bullshit men have put me through #i’m not exposing anyone or how i feel anymore #social media sucks anyway and i only wnat to use it to share things that make me happy and to build my career #i try my best to be croniclly offline as possible now and i try my best to share as little as possible #i’m not bottled up this way anymore because i’m not doing it because im scared of someone els e #i’m doing it because it feels right for me right now #you don’t even know what i look like anymore or what’s going on in my life and i like that

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