#i watched this movie a year or two ago with a friend and recently rewatched it for the nostalgia

[algoreithms]

i swear, someday soon, i am just gonna disappear, and you won't have any idea what happened to me.

[waywardnerd67]

Fireworks

Title: Fireworks Summary: When (Y/N)’s BFF invites her to a 4th of July party she would never imagine meeting the man of her dreams… literally. Main Characters: Glen Powell, Reader Pairing: Glen Powell x Reader Rating: E - Everyone Warnings: Fluffy/RPF Word Count: 5376 A/N: Jumping back into the saddle so please forgive all the rough edges.

“Honey, I’m home!”

(Y/N) looked up to see her best friend walking through her front door, “Addison! Why didn’t you tell me you were in town?”

She hugged her hard, missing her BFF more than she realized. A year ago, Addison got the opportunity of a lifetime to be the personal assistant to a Hollywood actor. She had been traveling the world, hanging out on movie sets and living her best life. Meanwhile, (Y/N) was still living in their hometown of Austin, Texas working at the same high school, in the same position for nearly a decade.

“I’m sorry, my boss has had me planning this big Fourth of July party and today is the first day I’ve had time to come see you.”

They both sat down on her couch as (Y/N) paused her millionth rewatch of Supernatural, “How are you planning a party here if he lives in L.A.?”

Addison smiled, “He recently moved back to Austin, so it looks like I will be coming back here as well.”

(Y/N) let out a squeal hugging her friend tightly, “Oh my god, that’s amazing! I mean I know you’re gonna be busy but damn will it be good to have you back here.”

For the next few hours they caught up on each other’s lives or lack of one for (Y/N). They ordered dinner and were getting ready to watch one of their favorite rom-coms when Addison’s phone rang.

“Hey boss, what’s up?”

(Y/N) watched her friend’s face light up and suddenly her body was filled with envy. She was incredibly proud of the life her friend created but it was a reminder of how boring of a life she had. She couldn’t even remember the last thing she had been excited for except for maybe the new Twisters movie coming out later in the month.

“You got it. I will confirm everything and send you an email update.” Addison paused listening, “Yes, I will make sure to bring someone with me. See you tomorrow.”

“From the look on your face I would say you love your job.” Addison nodded with a smile, “I really do. He’s great and nothing like the other Hollywood douchebags. He’s just a good ole Texas boy. Kind of reminds me of Jensen and Jared.”

(Y/N) remembered her best friend's time volunteering at Creation Entertainment Supernatural conventions. She eventually was one of the workers who helped walk the actors to and from ops. Several times she had walked with Jared Padalecki or (Y/N)’s favorite actor, Jensen Ackles. That was how she had met them and found out they were truly just as nice and humble as everyone said they were.

“He wants me to bring someone to his party. What do you say?”

“Me?” She stared at Addison, “Don’t you think you should bring someone more interesting or fun?”

Her friend slipped her arm around (Y/N)’s shoulders, “No. There’s no one else I would rather bring than my best friend. Plus, who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone there and hit it off.”

“Yeah. Right.” She scoffed, “The plain Jane school secretary hitting it off with some Hollywood hunk. This is reality and not fanfiction.”

“Please? For me? It would mean the world to me if you came and then I can finally introduce you to my boss.” Addison stuck out her bottom lip in a pout.

(Y/N) narrowed her eyes then smiled, “Fine. Only because I love you.”

“Yay! If you want we can go get you a swimsuit and a new outfit. On me, of course, as a thank you.”

“I’m immediately regretting this decision…” She groaned.

The next day, they spent the day going to lunch and shopping. After one crying session in a dressing room and a slight argument in front of a cashier, (Y/N) arrived back home with three bags worth of stuff. Addison had convinced her to buy a two piece swimsuit. She was always hyper aware of her body even after losing a lot of weight. She was still plus size with killer curves and she was proud of her body. Knowing she was going to be around beautiful actors and models made her notice every little imperfection she had. Staring at the dark green checkered pattern suit made her stomach churn.

“It will be fine, (Y/N). No one is going to notice you anyway.” She murmured to herself.

The morning of July 4th, Addison was at her apartment bright and early, “I’m sorry it’s so early on your day off. My boss wants me at his house early and I figured you wanted to ride over with me.”

(Y/N) yawned, “It’s fine. I have my Monster and should be some form of human like by the time we get there.”

Addison led her out to a brand new Jeep Wrangler that was the same orange as the Longhorns. They threw their stuff in the back and headed off onto highway 290 towards Dripping Springs.

“Please tell me this is his car and not yours.” (Y/N) said as Addison started laughing.

“Yes, it’s his. I still have old faithful who recently hit 200,000 miles and is still purring like a kitten.” Addison turned on her Spotify playlist, “He’s a big Longhorns fan so anything he can get in burnt orange he does.”

One thing (Y/N) loved about living in Austin was the scenery. It had been awhile since she had driven out to Hill Country. The last remaining bluebonnets were holding on strong from a late blooming season mixing with other wildflowers. She couldn’t help to notice they were headed the same direction as Family Business Brewery.

“If we’re going to Family Business and Jensen is going to be there then I need some notice to calm my inner fangirl.”

Addison shook her head, “No, he just lives near there. I know he invited Jensen and Jared’s families but I think they have a convention this weekend.”

(Y/N) let out a sigh of relief then continued to admire the scenery around her while they sang to their favorite songs. Soon they were pulling up to a newly built, gated home. The main house was a subtly modern farmhouse with a big wrap around porch. Addison parked in front of the three car garage behind the house and that’s when (Y/N) saw a beautiful red barn straight out of a western movie.

“Wow…” She said, grabbing her things and following her friend to the pool house.

“Make yourself at home, this is where I stay. It’s easier for me to be close by than to have my own place and worry about subletting it.”

(Y/N) found pictures of her best friend in various cities, countries with celebrities she admired. There were also plenty of pictures of them together throughout their friendship including childhood and being roommates at UT-Austin. She looked at one picture of Addison pulled into a big hug from Glen Powell.

“You’ve met Glen Powell and didn’t tell me!” (Y/N) smacked her BFF’s shoulder, “How dare you.”

Addison laughed, “He’s a sweetheart.”

“Talk about good ole Texas boy… by god not that I need another bow legged Texan to love, but whew!” (Y/N) fanned herself.

“Come on, help me organize the food and everything before my boss gets home.”

There were tables set up in the massive backyard with a food buffet large enough to feed an army. (Y/N) found herself enjoying helping Addison get everything ready. She was helping the DJ get set up in the barn when Addison called out to her.

“Hey, my boss is here. I’m going to the main house to help him with something then I’ll be back.”

“Got it boss lady!” (Y/N) laughed as her friend rolled her eyes.

She was putting the last touches of the Firecracker themed tables together when a low, raspy voice came from behind her.

“Nicely done. You must be Addison’s best friend.”

She turned around and froze, “Holy shit, you’re Glen Powell.”

He laughed holding out his hand to her, “Yes, but not the OG Glen. He’s in the house right now. You’re (Y/N), right? Addison talks about you all the time.”

She slipped her hand into his then flinched from the electric current running up her arm. From his wide green eyes, she assumed he felt it too.

“Uh, y-yeah that’s me. Um…” She swallowed hard, “Sorry, my inner fangirl is having a mild heart attack right now.”

His deep, rich laugh blanketed her body in warmth, “Well hopefully your inner fangirl won’t pass out. Calling 911 is not on my list today.”

“I promise, she’ll be fine. Still getting used to my BFF hanging out with celebrities, especially ones that I love.”

The bright smile on his face nearly melted her heart, “Awe, so you love me?”

“Uh… yes, I mean… yes I love your movies and you seem like a really great person.” (Y/N) mentally kicked herself.

Shut up. Stop talking you weirdo.

“Thanks, I try to be a good guy. Main reason why I moved back to Austin. Stay grounded in my home roots. Anyway, I’m looking forward to getting to know you. I better get back to the main house and see what kind of chaos my family is causing for Addison.”

“Oh, okay. Talk to you later.” (Y/N) watched as he walked out of the barn then finally let out a shaky breath.

She immediately went in search of her best friend, finding her near the buffet. She smacked her shoulder several times as Addison tried to defend herself with tongs.

“What the hell (Y/N)!”

“Why didn’t you tell me that Glen Powell was your boss?! A little warning would have been nice so I could prepare myself.”

Addison chuckled, “Damn, I missed you meeting him. I was hoping to see your face.”

She smacked her shoulder again, “Not funny. It was like the first time I met Jensen and my brain short circuited.”

Now Addison was nearly falling down laughing, “Did you word vomit all over him?”

“No! Though I did mention my inner fangirl having a heart attack. Also, the first thing out of my mouth was ‘Holy shit, you’re Glen Powell.”

“Oh my god!” Her friend was rolling in laughter, “God, I wish I had been there for that.”

“That’s it, I’m leaving. I’ve already embarrassed myself and who knows who else will be here for me to embarrass myself in front of.”

(Y/N) started to head towards the front of the house when Addison reached out grabbing her arm.

“Wait, wait. I’m sorry, I should have warned you. Glen only invited a few actors that live around here over. Honestly, I think Zac Levi is the only one confirmed to be coming. Other than that, it’s mostly Glen’s family and friends.”

“Zac Levi?” She stared at her, “Zachary fucking Levi… oh god, I’m out. Me and my inner fangirl cannot handle this.”

Addison ran in front of her, grabbing a hold of her shoulders, “(Y/N), they are just humans like you and me.”

“Humans that are sculpted out of marble by the good lord himself with a good heaping pile of sex god appeal. Not like me. They’re main character energy and I’m one of the background people no one sees.”

“(Y/N) stop. Trust me, stay and hang out with me. Glen said once everything was set up that I was off the rest of the night. That means, it’s you and me hanging out by the pool, eating our weight in BBQ and watching fireworks. With some particularly good eye candy around.”

Addison was looking at her with pleading eyes, “Please stay and find out for yourself that they are normal dudes. Just like when we hung out with Jared and Jensen.”

(Y/N) sighed, “Only because I love you more than life itself and I have no way of getting home.”

Addison pulled her into a hug, “Thank you.”

“Group hug? I want to join!” Before (Y/N) could look up, she was sandwiched between her best friend and a firm body behind her. Instantly she was enveloped in a woodsy smell with a hint of citrus. Glen squeezed them together making both girls laugh.

“Can’t… breathe… Powell.” Addison managed to squeak out as he let go of them.

“Sorry, just wanted to be a part of your little moment.” He joked.

(Y/N) turned around sucking in a breath and trying to keep her jaw from slacking. Standing before her was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. Which said a lot since up until that point it had been Jensen Ackles who was the most beautiful man in her mind. Glen was wearing a pair of swim trunks with firecrackers all over them that hung low on his hips. His golden skin was glowing beneath the Texas sun and on top of his golden hair was an American flag cowboy hat.

“Ladies, I believe everything is set up and our first wave of guests have arrived. That means, Addison, you are officially off the clock and my last request is for you both to have a great time tonight.”

They looked at one another then saluted Glen saying together, “Yes sir.”

His laughter filled the air, “Your salutes need some work but we can work on that later. Now, go! Get drunk, eat and have fun.”

Addison hooked her arm with (Y/N)’s and they headed back towards the pool. For the first couple of hours, (Y/N) laid out on one of the chairs by the pool. One of the only things she loved about parties was people watching. There was no shortage of people to watch here. Glen’s family was an absolute joy to meet. Currently, his dad was in the pool playing with his grandkids while his mom was sitting on the edge hanging her feet into the water.

(Y/N) watched as Zac Levi walked through the main house with a cooler and a few of his friends. She was surprised to see him pull Addison into a hug then kiss her cheek. She made a mental note to ask her what was up with that later. Sipping on her beer, she watched as a group of guys including Glen and Zac started a game of football. Addison was talking with Glen’s sisters when suddenly there was a shout.

“Watch out!”

Before (Y/N) could look up, she was hit with something hard in her chest. She let out a loud grunt and her beer dumped down the front of her.

“Shit! (Y/N) are you alright?” Glen asked as he and Addison ran up to her.

She groaned, “Fine, just covered in beer.”

“I can show you where you clean up.” Glen said, taking the football that had hit her and tossing it to his brother-in-law.

He held out his hand to her and helped her up from her seat. She looked back at Addison who was smiling like the Cheshire cat. She narrowed her eyes at her friend suddenly smelling a set up and beer… lots of beer.

Glen led her into the main house and up the stairs. They walked into the largest bedroom she had ever seen and immediately knew this had to be his room.

“You can use my bathroom to wash up and I’ll get you some clothes to wear.”

She chuckled, “Um, I’m pretty sure your clothes won’t fit me.”

He arched an eyebrow at her, “I’m sure I can find something or if you prefer to walk around in a towel only then that’s cool too.”

“No! Oh god, no.” She sighed, “Thank you. I appreciate anything you can find for me.”

“You’re welcome.” He walked into his large closet while she went into his master bathroom and shut the door.

Leaning against it, she took a moment to calm her frantic nerves. A week ago, she was home rewatching Top Gun: Maverick and now she was standing in Glen Powell’s bathroom. Quickly, she stripped out of her soiled clothes and swimsuit. She turned on the water of the massive shower and let the hot water beat down on her tense muscles. She heard the door opening and immediately tried to cover herself.

“There’s clothes on my bed for you.”

(Y/N) noticed he had his hand covering his eyes even though he couldn’t see her from where the door was. Her heart skipped from the small gesture.

“T-Thank you. I’ll be back out in a few minutes.”

“Take your time.” He closed the door.

(Y/N) noticed his shampoo was the citrus she had smelled earlier while his body wash was the woods smell. She decided that combination was her new favorite smell. Once she was out of the shower and wrapped in one of his towels she walked out to find his door closed. On the bed was an extra large Longhorns t-shirt and gym shorts. There was also a pair of black Calvin Klein boxer-briefs which she was thankful for. However, not having a bra to wear was going to be difficult.

She stepped into his closet and chuckled from all the burnt orange shirts. She found one of his tank tops and slipped it on. She rolled the bottom up beneath her breasts and tied it off with her ponytail. The girls would at least be secured but one good cool wind and her nipples would be on display.

“Maybe it’s time to step up to whiskey.” She muttered as she slipped on the rest of Glen’s clothes.

Opening the door, she found a muscular, tan back standing there like a bodyguard, “Sorry, I just didn’t want anyone walking in here on you. My family is not big on boundaries nor are my niece and nephew.”

She chuckled, “Thanks for keeping watch and for the clothes.”

He turned around and she watched as his eyes traveled the length of her body. Goosebumps spread across her flushed skin. When his eyes came back up to hers they were darker and filled with something that she refused to let herself believe was there.

“Have to say, those look way better on you than on me.”

(Y/N)’s default mode clicked on whenever she received compliments, “I highly doubt that, but thanks. They’re at least more comfortable than my swimsuit. By the way, do you have somewhere I could wash my clothes out?”

“Yeah, give them to me and I’ll put them in the washer. You can head back out to enjoy the party.” She handed him her suit and clothes, “Man, I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you in this. I bet it looked great on you.”

He headed down the stairs leaving (Y/N) speechless. Was Glen Powell flirting with her? No way. She was delusional from the alcohol and sun. She headed back outside where she found Addison swimming in the pool with Zac. Seeing them together, she knew she didn’t need to ask if they were together. It was obvious by the way they looked at one another that they were. Once again, (Y/N)’s green eyed monster raged inside of her. Deciding she needed some more time alone, she headed out towards the barn then kept walking to the field behind it.

She was watching a team of guys setting up fireworks for the big display later that night. She could still hear everyone laughing and having fun behind her, suddenly she felt tears falling down her cheeks. She loved her best friend, but it was obvious she didn’t fit into her life anymore. She was hanging out and dating celebrities and traveling the world.

What was she doing? Still working the same job and never allowing anyone to get close to her. She gave up on dating after her one and only boyfriend had cheated on her. Did she want someone in her life? The family and white picket fence? Of course, but the closer to forty she was getting the further away that dream seemed to be getting. Seeing how happy Addison was and how wonderful her life was a harsh reminder of how meaningless her own life was.

“You okay?”

Turning around, she found Glen walking up now wearing a navy tank top and his dark Ray Bans covering his eyes. She quickly wiped away the wayward tears.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just needed a moment.”

He leaned his forearms against the fence, looking out over the field, “I see you found my ‘I need a moment’ spot. I love coming out here and just being. I don’t have to be actor Glen, but just me.”

“I bet that is exhausting.” He nodded as she looked at him from the corner of her eyes, “On behalf of fans everywhere, I appreciate all the hard work you put into your characters. I can’t tell you the number of nights I have watched one of your rom-coms laughing and making my day better.”

He looked down at her with a smile, “Thanks, that means a hell of a lot to me.”

“However, I have to say, I wish they would pair you up with a woman your age. Seeing you make out with a woman ten years younger gives girls like me a complex.” She chuckled.

“How so?” He asked, turning towards her.

She sighed, “You never see a leading woman that is both older and doesn’t have a model’s body. The average size of a woman is 14/16 which is plus size and if I had to guess I bet the majority of rom-com audience is like me. A woman in her late thirties, plus size, single and looking for hope that men like Glen Powell would be interested in her.”

“You don’t think guys like me would be with a woman like you?”

His question was genuine, but made her scoff, “In the movies they aren’t. Why would I believe that in real life? Probably why I’ve been single for over a decade now. It’s easier to fantasize over fictional men or celebrities than putting myself out there to get humiliated.”

He stepped closer to her, his fingers brushing against her cheek and tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. He pushed his sunglasses up on top of his head and his glossy eyes were staring down into hers. She had dreamt of him looking at her in this very way a million times. The way he looked at every leading lady in one of his rom-coms.

“What if I told you that I do find you attractive? That I find you incredibly sexy.”

“I’d say that you’re a great actor.” She tried to look away, but he gently grabbed her chin making her look at him.

“I’m not acting. The moment Addison showed me a picture of the two of you, I thought you were the most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen. The way she gushes about you and all the work you do for your students. The difference you’re making in their lives. I couldn’t imagine anything more sexy than a woman who loves to help those who need it.”

(Y/N) stepped away from him, “It’s really nothing special. Yes, I’m there for them and help them in any way I can, but so do a lot of staff. Honestly, there’s nothing special about me. I’m definitely not gorgeous. I mean, you’re around beautiful actresses and models all the time. They’re gorgeous, me not so much.”

“Addison warned me that you usually put yourself down when you receive compliments.” He took a step towards her engaging in an awkward dance as she stepped backwards.

“Warned you? So, this was a set up?” (Y/N) rolled her eyes, “Did she really think you were going to magically fall in love with me and sweep me off my feet. Which by the way, you couldn’t, not literally anyway.”

“I asked her to introduce us. Yes, I found you attractive and after hearing Addison talk about you non-stop in Oklahoma, I wanted to meet you. Addison is not only my assistant but a dear friend and if you’re important to her then you’re important to me as well.”

He closed the distance between them pressing her back against the fence and caging her in with his strong arms on either side of her. He leaned in towards her and she sucked in a breath, holding it in her chest.

“I wasn’t hoping to fall in love or sweep you off your feet. Which I could totally do.” He smirked, “I was hoping to meet the amazing woman Addison loves so much and who happens to be fucking gorgeous.”

“Glen, I…” She let out a trembling breath, “I'm nobody and I don’t do one night stands. Even if it’s with a sexy movie star that I’m sure would give me the orgasm of my life. It’s not me and I don’t see you wanting to settle down with a high school secretary.”

He leaned closer to her. His nose brushing alongside hers and his lips merely an inch from hers. She wanted to look away, but his eyes were mesmerizing.

“Won’t know unless you give me a chance.”

His lips pressed against hers. They were soft and tasted of tequila as he pulled her bottom lips between his teeth. Suddenly, her body felt like it was on fire and she wanted more. Needed more. His large hands fell to her hips and pulled her tighter against him. (Y/N) wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing her hands into his soft hair. His sunglasses falling from his head was enough to knock her senses back into place. She pressed her hands against his chest, pushing him gently away.

“We… I… this can’t happen. It’s not happening.” She stammered.

(Y/N) took off back towards the barn as Glen called after her, “(Y/N)! (Y/N), please wait!”

She didn’t stop until she was in the pool house and in Addison’s room with the door shut. Tears immediately sprung to her eyes and she sank to the floor beside her bed. What the hell was she doing? Glen Powell had kissed her. Told her she was gorgeous and yet she was sitting on the floor crying. Why couldn’t she be more impulsive and have one night with a man who was way out of her league? Looking at her reflection in the glass from the sliding door, she sighed.

“Because you catch feelings, (Y/N).” She whispered.

“(Y/N)?” Addison’s voice came through the door, “You alright?”

She opened the door, “Seriously, Glen Powell?”

“Let me explain.”

“Addison, what did you think was going to happen? You couldn’t actually believe this was going to work in any sort of way.”

They sat down on her bed, “I talk about you non-stop with him. I’ve told him all your stories from school with your kiddos. I’ve told him how I’m worried about you being alone all the time and how I wish you could meet a nice guy like him. How proud I am of all you’ve done for your health and how you love your body for what it is.”

(Y/N) placed her head in her hands, “And what, he was like ‘oh I want to meet this chick’?”

“Not his exact words, but yes. When he started planning this party, he asked if there was anyone I would like to invite. I told him Zac and his friends…” She paused looking at her bashfully, “Yeah, I’m kind of seeing Zac Levi.”

“No shit, Sherlock. I could tell that from the lovey-dovey looks you give one another. After my breakdown you can spill all about how that happened.”

Addison nodded, “Anyway, Glen asked if I wanted to invite you. I told him that you’re pretty introverted and didn’t like going to parties. He dropped it, but then when he was having me finalize the list of people I noticed he had added your name at the end of the list. When I asked him about it, all he said was he wanted to meet the amazing best friend I kept talking about.”

“So, you decided to turn it into a set up? Knowing full and well I would never fall for it.”

Her friend turned towards her, “It was never a set up. I warned him how you are. I asked him directly what he was up to. He told me that he found you attractive and wanted to get to know you.” She grabbed her hands, “Honestly (Y/N), I think he’s just a dude who is nervous to ask out a beautiful girl. It’s hard for him to meet anyone who doesn’t see him as only a famous actor and I really think he wants this part of his life to be as normal as possible.”

(Y/N) groaned, “You know this sounds like a fanfic I would read on Tumblr, right?”

Addison laughed, “Oh I’m well aware. However, doesn’t it make you want to see what happens? Usually, the next part would be you going to find him and you two would have a moment of tension that snaps. Then wham, bam, smutty dreams fulfilled.”

“I think I’m going to throw up.” (Y/N) took a couple deep breaths.

“That is not usually in the fanfics. Take the time you need, but please come back out and hang out with us. If anything, I’ll introduce you to Zac and you can fangirl over him.”

“I love you, but get out. I can’t even with you right now.” (Y/N) laughed as Addison hugged her.

Once she was alone again, (Y/N) went into the bathroom to splash cool water on her face. Looking into the mirror, she gave herself a once over. She walked out into the bedroom letting out a surprise yelp when she found Glen sitting on the bed.

“Scared the crap out of me.” She held her chest.

His eyes were focused on the floor, “Sorry. Addison said you were in here.” He stretched his long fingers out over his thighs before looking up at her.

“I wanted to apologize for coming onto you so strong and kissing you. I should have been more of a gentleman about it, not that I regret kissing you because I don’t.”

She sat down next to him, “I don’t either and you don’t need to apologize. It was nice to know I remembered how to kiss a man.”

He chuckled finally looking over at her, “It’s like I’m living out a meet-cute rom-com without a script and it’s terrifying. There’s a fine line between endearing and creepy. I feel like I’m crossing the line into creepy.”

(Y/N)’s hand was trembling but she placed it over his, “You’re not creepy. Addison told me about how you wanted to get to know me. I think it’s been so long since a man has shown any interest in me that I don’t know how to react to it. Let alone that man being someone I have fantasized about being the Leading Man in my own life.”

“Is there any way we could start over? You being you and me being just a normal dude wanting to ask you out?” He laced their fingers together, “Or at least ask you to watch fireworks with me?”

(Y/N) smiled, “I would love to watch fireworks with you… what was your name again?”

His breathtaking smile appeared as he stood up in front of her, “Hi, I’m Glen and you?”

She took his outstretched hand, standing up, “(Y/N), it’s nice to meet you totally normal dude who is definitely not a famous sexy actor.”

He laughed pulling her into his side slipping his arm around her shoulders, “That’s me. Normal dude who is thankful to have a chance to be in the presence of a beautiful woman.”

“Oh jeez, please stop with the compliments. They make me uncomfortable.” She sighed, sliding her arm around his waist.

-----

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[lionesses-lover]

Under the Stars - A. Russo

The one where you and your girlfriend share a magical night together with all your friends before your lives change forever.

Word count: 1.5k

Notes: for the purpose of this fic we are going to pretend that Alessia didn’t leave UNC and she stayed until graduation. Hope you enjoy :)

When you were younger, you used to dream about your perfect prom. You grew up with 3 older sisters, so you got to see all of them have their perfect proms. You spent hours dreaming about your dress, imagining what your hair and makeup would look like, and most importantly, thinking about your ideal date.

Unfortunately, that never happened.

Being a football player meant that you had to make sacrifices. So, when you had an international match on the same day as prom you knew what you had to do. You had to sacrifice yet another important moment in your life. Football was the best thing in your life, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to miss the one night you had been dreaming of for years.

However, the universe seemed to have a plan for you, because when you graduated the University of North Carolina, you finally got to have the night you had been waiting for.

———

It was going to be the perfect day. You and Alessia had spent all day together, relaxing in your shared dorm room and rewatching the Harry Potter movies for the millionth time. 

Now, you were in your best friend Lois’ dorm to get ready with her, while Alessia was getting ready with Lotte in your room. It was the perfect plan. Lois had agreed to do your hair and you and Alessia both wanted to have a grand reveal when you showed each other your outfits.

"So, y/n," asked Lois, sitting cross-legged on her bed as you sat in-front of the mirror putting the finishing touches to your makeup look, "are you excited to spend the night with Less?”

"I actually don't think I've ever felt more excited than I do now," you laughed, "I remember being so jealous looking at the photos of my sisters at their proms because I never got one, but now I do and I get to go with the love of my life. It's going to be wonderful."

"Gross, you two are so in love it's adorable and disgusting at the same time," Lois said after pretending to vomit at your love-struck words, "how are you feeling about everything changing in the next few months then?"

Ah, yes, you thought to yourself. The one thing you had been dreading for the last few years was now imminent. You and Alessia were no longer going to see each other everyday or play for the same team. Your upcoming graduation meant that you were both leaving UNC to turn professional in England. However, Alessia had secured a contract with Manchester United, whereas you had recently signed for Arsenal with Lotte. So, you were going to be going from living in the same room as your girlfriend to living hours away from her.

“It’s going to be tough", you replied, turning round to face Lois, "but I know its going to be fine. We trust each other and we are both going to be doing what we love for the teams we love."

"I think you two will be fine, I've had to watch how in love you with each other you are for the past two years and if any couple can survive playing on two different teams it's you guys," smiled Lois comfortingly.

"Thanks Lois," you said, before you turned back around and finished applying your mascara, smiling happily thinking about the beautiful blonde in the next-door room.

———

About an hour later, you and Lois had finally finished getting ready. You were so happy with how your dress looked, it was just how you had imagined. You had gone shopping with one of your older sisters a few months ago when she had flown out to visit you, and you had managed to find your dream prom dress. You couldn't wait for Alessia to see it.

There was a soft knock at the door and you instantly knew it was your girlfriend and Lotte coming to pick you and Lois up before you all walked the short distance to the building where the prom was being held.

You rushed to open the door and were met with the most breathtaking sight you've ever seen. Alessia.

"Lessi you look gorgeous,' you said, looking into her beautiful blue eyes as she stared at you so much love, admiring your outfit.

"You look absolutely beautiful my love," she replied.

"Ok you guys can be in love later," interrupted Lotte, "come on let's go before we are really late."

You and Alessia laughed as Lotte and Lois ran off ahead of you, eager to avoid being stuck third and fourth wheeling you both.

Alessia gently reached out and took your hand in hers, grinning happily at you as your followed your best friends to prom.

"I'm so happy to be going to prom with you Lessi, it's going to be even better than my dreams," you said excitedly.

"I love you so much, y/n," she responded, still staring at you, "you're honestly the most beautiful person I've ever seen."

"So cringy but so cute," you chuckled, "I love you too Lessi."

———

The prom was wonderful. It was being held in one of the large event spaces at UNC and everyone ws having a wonderful time, enjoying their last few days at the college before being thrown into the world of work after graduation next week.

The room had been decorated with UNC colours and was filled with balloons and sparkling lights, making it seem like a world away from the college you had spent the past four years of your life at.

You were with your teammates on the dance floor, dancing crazily to your favourite song, when you felt a strong arm wrap around your waist, turning you around.

"Hey pretty girl," said your girlfriend, giving you a lopsided grin, "Are you enjoying yourself?"

Wrapping your arms around her neck, you began to slowly dance with her, before saying, "I'm having so much fun Lessi, this is the best night ever."

You both smiled at each other, before Alessia leant down and placed a loving kiss on your forehead, rocking you back and forth to the beat of the music that filled the room.

———

After a few more hours of dancing, singing and eating a delicious meal with your friends and teammates, people were slowly beginning to leave, heading to after-parties or going back to their dorms.

You and Alessia had planned to go back to Lotte's dorm with her and Lois to watch a few movies before bed, however they had decided to go to Claudia's afterparty. So, your girlfriend once again took your hand in hers and led you out of the prom, taking you on a small walk to your favourite spot on campus. The football pitch.

You both lay down on the grass, watching the stars shining above you, and began to reminisce about your time at UNC. You talked about the first time you met - at the orientation with the rest of your team, the first time you realised your friendship may be more than a friendship - after winning an important match and watching as her eyes shone as you danced around the changing room. You talked about the first time you went on a date - neither of you knew your way around the campus that well so you ended up watching movies and eating takeout in your dorm, but nevertheless it was perfect.

You also talked about the future.

"We're going to be alright, aren't we Lessi?" you asked quietly, cuddling into her as you both continued to stare at the stars, her hands stroking your hair softly.

"Of course we are gorgeous," she replied confidently, "we will see each other on our days off and it will make us value our time together even more than we already do. Manchester is only a few hours away from London by train and we can call everyday. It's not like we are going to be playing in different countries."

You laughed gently, "Thank you baby, I just needed a bit of reassurance. I'm quite nervous about playing at Arsenal without you."

"I know y/n," she said, "but you will do great, I'm sure you'll win loads and score loads. Except when you play United. You'll lose then."

You laughed again at her confidence and love for Manchester United.

"Don't underestimate the Arsenal baby, we're the best club in the world."

"No way," she chuckled, shaking her head while pulling you in further to cuddle each other more, "United is the best. Always has been, Always will be."

"Keep dreaming," you replied, before slowly leaning up to gently kiss her.

In that moment, lying in the middle of the UNC football pitch, cuddled up with your girlfriend in prom dresses, staring up at the beautiful stars covering the sky, you knew that everything was going to be alright. As long as you had Alessia you could do anything, even if she didn't support Arsenal.

———

[precuredaily]

Precure Daily's Sixth Anniversary

On April 10, 2018, I posted the first review in the project that became Precure Daily. It wasn't actually on tumblr at that time, but on Facebook. The plan was to watch an episode every day and just post some thoughts, but it evolved into reviews and screenshots and that necessitated a whole blog, and here we are. That was six years ago today!

Six years. It's hard to believe. I honestly, truly didn't think I'd still be doing this. Whether I petered out before the end, or managed to get it all done in the 2-3 years I anticipated, I figured I'd have stopped by now. But somehow I haven't given up yet! I'm still watching, still writing, and still getting new fans to share with, and that makes it all worth it.

The past year was slow, I will readily acknowledge it. I only got about 7 reviews out in that time, including the one that just went up earlier today, but one of those was the Go Go movie. That was a whole undertaking, it took me nine months to get out. Granted, for about 6 of those 9 months it was just sitting there unchanged. I'd open it occasionally to poke at it but then not end up getting much done. Maybe it still wasn't the best it could have been but I'm proud of it nonetheless. It was a good review for a good movie. Also, I got to review the very first All Stars, even if it was a short film. Having recently wached the most recent All Stars brings that experience full circle and it's real nice.

One small hiccup is that, at the time of writing, I haven't yet gotten out the traditional Honoka birthday post. I just haven't had time to sit down and gather artwork for it. Hopefully that'll come out in the next day or two!

Outside of the blog, let's look at the wider world of the Precure series over the last year

I said last year that I hadn't finished Delicious Party, and that's still true. When it was on air, I was watching it with a friend and she was really into it; we are going to resume watching together to finally push through it.

HIrogaru Sky's second half was good, it lacked a little bit of the driving power of the first half and the villain plot never properly came together in my opionion. I still love the characters, I think they're my favorite cast in a good while.

I did not watch Otona Precure. Although I've watched Go Go before, I want to finish this current watchthrough for the blog before I jump into it. Maybe I'll even review it as I go, that remains to be seen. I've heard mixed things about it and I'm not very big on the idea that the girls just go back to teenagers when they transform, but I'll reserve judgment.

Wonderful Precure did not appeal to me when information started coming out, and I fell off it for a few weeks when the first couple eps didn't impress me, but I decided to keep going and it's thoroughly enjoyable. I don't think it's going to crack my top 10 but it should be a solid middle of the road series.

I watched the Delicious Party Precure movie and Precure All Stars F with friends in fairly close proximity, and wow do those movies exist on opposite ends of the spectrum. DeliPa's film was one of the weakest Precure movies I've seen, while All Star F was phenomenal. I need to rewatch it.

I did say last year that the blog would look different when I finish Go Go. That is still true. I should be able to wrap that up in a few months, then comes the next phase of things. Deets when it happens.

And also just because I can, here's some recommendations for shows outside of Precure you should watch that came out in the last year-ish:

Oshi no Ko

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End (featuring Wonderful Precure's Tanezaki Atsumi as a monotone elf)

SPY x FAMILY (featuring Wonderful Precure's Tanezaki Atsumi as a psychic toddler)

Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger

The Last of Us

And I think that's it for this year's update! Here's to another year of watching and writing about Precure! Thanks as always to my loyal friends and fans for making this project a success: @sailorzombiestar, @vertixscribe, PaintedOutlaw, @hanasaki-tsubomi, yugimon135 (can't tag you for some reason), and my newest fan @nono-bunny.

Here's all my previous sappy anniversary posts if you want to go back and read them.

First Anniversary

Second Aniversary

Third Anniversary

Fourth Anniversary

Fifth Anniversary

[kneelbeforeclefairy]

I gotta explain what's happened in the past two weekish

Be me

Read hunger games when it came out like ten fucking years ago and then some. Had a group of friends who was into it. Friend group eventually broke up. Eventually got bored with it fandom. Literally recently got rid of the books cause like....well they were clogging up the shelf.

Anyway

Coworker is torturing me at work (long story) so after she leaves I tend to put on little YouTube videos essay things to calm down.

Find one about the "perfect cruelty of the hunger games" explaining how the games themselves are used to surpress empathy while encouraging a facade of it

Dude that's interesting, why not?

Video talks a lot about song birds and snakes and the early games and someone called Lucy Gray?

Decide to look up some stuff aboit the book. Vaguely remember hearing something about it?

Get weird about 10th hunger games. Decide to just check out book from library

DEVOUR

@bestnoncannonship is tired of hearing about Someone Called Lucy Gray but is interested about the games and Young Snow. We decide to watch movie

I also start rereading the books. HOLY SHIT THOSE HOLD UP.

Movie REALLY GOOD. decide, why not let's rewatch the movies because I've only ever seen the first one and she's only seen the first two.

Last time hunger games was popular and everyone was trying to play Which Character Are You , @bestnoncannonship got assigned Katniss. She wore her hair in a long braid at the time and had a blonde little sister she was crazy protective of. Also was the only one of us who had any idea about surviving in the wilderness or anything like that, being from The Country. But she never liked Katniss, see?

(group cosplay of hunger games characters never materialized. I always wanted to do the four Careers. mostly cause I liked Glimmer. )

Anyway. My character was always Effie Trinket. Didn't have much choice in the matter. old friend group took one look at me and go, it's pink, it's a bit too naive about how things are in the Not Here, its occasionally scandalized if you use the wrong forks, and let's be real it doesn't REALLY understand what trees are outside of parks. Does this bitch look like she's ever seen a district to YOU?

So we're watching the movies and at some point Ann gets REALLY ATTACHED to haymitch.

It's like an oh. OH. moment.

Wrong district 12 Victor.

She says she couldn't identify with men because of Gender ISSUES back in the day. But now that pesky little gender broke and we can identify with ANYTHING.

Gets real into Haymitch. Realized haymitch and Effie are a ship.

We both go down the Hayffie rabbit hole.

Anyway this culminates on June 6.

THE FUCKING NEXT DAY THIS HAPPENS

Yeah. So . Universe weird like that..

[askew-d]

Hello...Have you watched Haikyuu movies? It's great....And we got lots of Kuroken moments and "that"one Kagehina moment.... So, as Kagehina shipper, have you ever ship Hinata or Kageyama with other character? For me, I have read Kageyama with Oikawa fic (I enjoy it but not really into that ship, all the time thinking of Iwaoi) and Hinata with Atsumu fic (one of my friend love that ship, wrote a fic and asked me to read them). And as much as they're all good, my otp will always be Kagehina. Like they were made for each other and it has to be them...

Do you also have other ships that you love from MDZS and TGCF? Sorry, if you asked me this, I have at least 8 ships in total from those two series, all of them are non canon (Xuexiao, Xiyao, Zhuiling, Beafleaf, Fengqing, Quanyin, Peihuang, Xuyue)....

Sorry for this random and long ask, hope you don't mind....

hello, anon!! sorry i am late for this, hope you understand. life has been crazy, haha. anyway, let us go: i did watch the haikyuu films and recently in was at the cinema with a friend watching the dumpster battle, let me tell you i was OVERJOYED!!! heavens, i could not control my anxiety. though my friend also likes the anime, she isnt as obsessed as me and didnt even finish the last season when we talked about watching the brand new release, so i had the OUTSTANDING experience of rewatching it with her so we could buy the tickets after!! i lost count of how many times i watched it and how many times i made other friends try it out (at some point, i recommended it to even one of my students during a totally unrelated discourse, hahahaha, hope he shares his opinions once this winter break finishes).

since i watched haikyuu about... five years ago? i must have rewatched some seasons more than ten times. its my comfort show! love every film also. about the ships, kagehina is my endgame, but i definitely love kuroken, iwaoi, bokuaka and sakuatsu (though i consume kagehina content much more). of course every ship is valid, i cannot judge anyone, however, i personally cant see hinata or kageyama with anyone else and do not read stories too focused on other relationships :) i can comprehend why fans see something with oikawa and kageyama, or even oikawa and hinata (considering their interaction in rio), but i do not settle with it in my heart. its just profiles and options, anyway! dont mind, dont mind.

i agree with you. for me, they are soulmates through and through. perfect for each other. one is the promise, the other is the anchor. they might be one of the couples i have seen anywhere that matches each other's vibe the best.

about mxtxt works, my favorite side ships are moshang and beefleaf. i can see the appeals in each one you mentioned, but i just never quite got interested to the point of reading about it, sorry!! some of them maybe its because they did not have a finale extra shot, or at least they were not as spoken/seen together as they were individually. for fengqing, though i like them as a side couple in hualian fanfics, i never quite got engaged in their story together, many times they just annoyed me (god, im scared of saying that and people coming at me, but there you go). but i know they have their values and some interactions i could almost forget my light, petty resentment for their actions and laugh along. beefleaf though? mobei-jun and his creator shang qinghua? heavens, i wanted to see more of them.

so, this is it! do not worry about asking whatever and whenever you want to ask. i love coming here to answer them when i have the time. thank you!! hope you can spot a nice sunset and take a relaxing shower today.

[schismusic]

Æon Flux and the end of all things

I don't remember the first time I heard of Æon Flux but I sure as hell remember the first time I watched it, and it wasn't too long ago which would technically not warrant the level of obsession I have for that shit, but here we are anyway.

I was knocked the fuck out on painkillers, two of my wisdom teeth freshly removed, not even remotely worried about the exam that I had coming up in like two days from then. So I was barely moving away from my swivel chair and sleeping on a whole ass armored pillow to prevent from tossing and turning and shit felt so surreal to me. It was like the eating chair from the last Cronenberg movie. So I delved into Æon Flux essentially blind and bingewatched the shit out of it. Twice. Ended up downloading the whole thing from some sketchy ass 1080p remastered torrent, rewatched it again, and spread it around personally in a more cauterized Google Drive folder (so if you guys got a nasty ass virtual STD from it, my bad I guess), not even a month after watching the series. Shit was fucked, in short, and every rewatch just fueled this obsession even further.

(image taken from Episode 1, Season 1)

One thing about me: when I obsess over stuff I want to draw something at the very least inspired by it. Happens to me a lot with Autechre, who are actually one of maybe three bands I would not hesitate to call my favourite based on an absolutely objective principle which is absolutely not up for discussion and which might be the object of a future post at this point. But the point is fucking Æon Flux is essentially impossible to replicate because Peter Chung's character designs are so recognizable that you start seeing them in literally every other movie that came out in the late '90s/early 2000s - and for reference, Æon Flux was brought to an end in 1995. Consequently, all attempts at drawing Æon Flux-inspired stuff end up either feeling very derivative or looking like fucking trash. Artistry is a weird thing because sometimes it inspires other people, other times it just inspires man-slaughtering rage.

Somewhat many of my friends are or have at one point tried to be accomplished visual artists. Some have made it to professional/teaching level, some others have an art school diploma or degree - and I'll be using this space to shout out @coto-letta aka V., who has recently rejoined Tumblr after years of absence. We met on here, when her handle was much different, and I mistook her for an ex of mine (whom, surprisingly, we are still on relatively good - if quiet - terms with) so I slid into her DMs as you do, and she was like "yeah actually I have no clue who the fuck you are I just think your blog is neat and dropped a follow" which was quite a fundamental moment in understanding that while my life was written like a dodgy soap-opera, that didn't mean I was the centre of the entire world. Anyway, the reason I'm shouting her out is because sometimes something deeper and older than you remember has a way of finding you again when you least expect it and that's what happened when in January 2023 (after V. had left Tumblr for at that point about two years and we had exchanged Instagram accounts) I somehow ended up on her Insta and found out she had been tagged in a picture taken somewhere that looked suspiciously like my university's conference hall and I could not fucking believe she was in my city. I slid into her DMs again, as you do, and found out that no, that wasn't my uni's aula magna, but yes, she was in fact relocating in my city for her master's. So we met up after maybe seven years of on-and-off Internet friendship. It's a neat story, sure, but how the fuck do we tie it into Æon Flux?

(image taken from Episode 3, Season 2: Leisure)

Not trying to be overly dramatic here, but Æon Flux to me is just about a condensation of everything that "art" can mean. Not just visual flare or style, not just deep meaning or interesting ways of putting across one or more questions and never a definitive answer to any of them (more often than not, it's sets of possible answers - usually two, neither of which ends up covering the whole array of possibilities, both of which actually leave a lot to be desired in a number of different ways), not just this insane fucking music that toys with everything you expect from animation courtesy of Drew Neumann who may just rank as one of the best soundtrack artists ever in virtue of this single work. It's the whole package. You would think it'd work taken in pieces, and it does, no objection to that: but it works even better as a whole package. If the moral questioning (and the philosophical musings of season 3, which is unjustly underrated because "it's too normal" by hipster wannabe critic dilettantes who like to think that they could do better than that. Everybody else on the other hand is generally able to stop pull their head out their own ass and recognize, at the very least, the excellent craftsmanship and talent that went into the ten long episodes) wasn't accompanied by the weird fetishistic sex it'd be somewhat less impactful, almost like a cauterized Tenshi no tamago made into a series for mainstream late-night TV audiences. The twist was that MTV's executives, at the time, "didn't understand [the double entendres], they didn't even notice them. So, we were okay", in producer Japhet Asher's own words in the short documentary Investigation: The History of Æon Flux. The network was, in fact, trying to break into the mainstream - they simply couldn't keep their creatives at bay. No wonder they turned to Jersey Shore as they went along.

(image taken from Episode 5, Season 3: The Demiurge)

Even just the main characters' purported edginess, clearly something "of its time", is never played entirely straight. Both leads are way too complex, and very clearly presented as such, to be just summed up by "Æon Flux is an anarchist/Trevor Goodchild is a dictator". Both of which are true, by the way, they're just one part of a full picture. Even within the context of its necessary linearity - this is still an animated short and as such moves only in one direction, even though a number of episodes (specifically Mirror and Chronophasia) deliberately fuck with the viewer's perception of times on varying degrees of diegesis and extradiegesis - the series could be perceived as, indeed, a sandbox: consequently, the viewer could set sail and explore it. This is further encouraged by the series's active weirdness to whoever would want to try and make sense of the world's story. There is no history, there is just the story at hand: an eternal present which you can't understand ("un eterno presente che capire non sai": Ferretti knew his shit, regardless of how it went after CCCP) and which Æon and Trevor are not interested in even trying to contextualize. Not a surprise then that they'd be into each other: their closeness in body and heart doesn't exist at the mind's level, and the whole thing falls apart miserably every time it looks like they could be finally let their weapons down. But as Æon completely understands, and as Trevor seems to actively try to ignore, the fight is already the whole point: star-cross'd as they may be, the entire act of playfully hunting each other for sport both in the bedroom and on the battlefield is what Trevor Goodchild and Æon Flux thrive on. Trevor wants stability but an Æon who doesn't fight back is simply not Æon; Æon does not want the stability, but she definitely likes Trevor to an extent and finds more in common with him that she would probably be willing to admit (I would like to thank Tumblr user @brw on thons very good analysis of the episode A Last Time for Everything, which heavily inspired this section of the post!). In short: if Trevor seems to embody Pier Paolo Pasolini's idea that "there is nothing more anarchistic than power" ("non c'è nulla di più anarchico del potere") then Æon flips the statement on its head: "there is nothing more powerful than anarchism". That is, of course, until we once again confront my signature ad-hoc elephant in the room that this statement just summoned.

(Image taken from Episode 1, Season 1)

No spoilers intended, but if you so much as google the name of the series you will easily find out that Æon Flux dies a whole lot throughout the series*. Season 1 and all the shorts from season 2 end with her dying ungrateful deaths and a couple of the long episodes leave much to be desired in the way of positive closure, with Ether Drift Theory representing a peak in bleakness for season 3. Most of the shorts where Æon dies imply that either absolutely nothing changes in the world around when she's lost or that Trevor Goodchild literally just succeeds in all of his goals (see Season 1's finale), and one could make a case that even if she did carry her missions through there would be absolutely nothing to show for it: somebody goes up the chain of power, everything is restored, there is one more tyrant to murder. Not to be that one guy who quotes Nietzsche about everything, but the eternal recurrence of the same is the first thing that comes to mind when watching Æon Flux, especially exemplified and even literalized by the episode War, possibly the best of the short ones: it's the same fucking story four times over a five-minute run time and nothing ever gets better for anyone. The body count in the episode is unquantifiably large - every one of the fallen a potential new Æon Flux or Trevor Goodchild. But this, in a way, implies that Æon keeps being reborn, and one could argue that the act of capturing a fly with her venus-fly-trap eye could simply be her coming back to life, as it were; stopping the most evident sign of decay, turning her eyes outward yet again, to face the eternal return of the same again and again and again…

(Image taken from Episode 8, Season 3: Ether Drift Theory)

You can find Æon Flux for free on the Internet Archive.

*as I was discussing the final draft of this post with my friend @oldshittydog we had a pretty interesting discussion which I thought should be added here for an even clearer, fuller picture:

[themaraudershavethephonebox]

15 Questions for 15 Mutuals

Thank youu @florenceafternoon for the tag <<33

1. Are you named after anyone? I'm not actually sure where my name came from, just that it's French (Chelle is a nickname) and I've got some french heritage like 200 years back or something, but my middle name is my grandmother's name.

2. When was the last time you cried? Like two hours ago rewatching the twilight series (Seth's not-death will always make me so sad) - or my last proper cry was yesterday watching Space Babies (Thanks RTD)

3. Do you have kids? HA No.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yes, but not so much online, I find I'm way more sweet and flowery on here.

5. What sports do you play/have you played? Netball for nearly 10 years, tee-ball when I was a kid, and I played futsal for a spell when I was in year 5

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Their teeth (it's terrible I hate it) and how they engage in conversation - if they cut others off or ask questions etc.

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings all the way, I love a good brain off viewing and a cry.

8. Any special talents? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I can do weird bodily things that alot of people are supposed to not be able to like unfocusing my eyes and thunder ears, hyperextending my thumbs etc etc.

9. Where were you born? About 4ks from where I currently live (which is sad to think about if you ask me)

10. What are your hobbies? Knitting, crocheting, yapping, thinking about writing, buying books I will likely not read.

11. Do you have any pets? I've recently adopted a stray and her kittens (only 1 left bc I've rehomed the other 2 this week) and she has another litter on the way. (If anyone wants a cat HMU)

12. All-time favourite piece of media? I am just a simple woman - Pride and Prejudice 2005

13. Fave subject in school? Legal studies - it's like listening to a true crime podcast but you're talking to other people instead of yourself.

14. Dream job? Trophy wife? Deity? No job at all? Or at least anything where I'm not on my feet 40 hours a week talking to the most ignorant people in Sydney and worrying about being assaulted by teenage girls lmao

15. Eye colour? My best friend once described it as hazel that turns more green in the sun, with specs of gold and honey through and honestly at that moment I wondered if he had been reading James Potter fanfiction bc how many times have we all read that description?

Tagging @apalapucian @annabtg @nena-96 @starlingflight @petals2fish @emeralddoeadeer @charmsandtealeaves @jfleamont

And open tag bc while I do have 15 mutuals that is A LOT of tagging babes x

[nerdalmighty]

People I'd Like to Know Better!

Thanks for the tags @okthisway and @khywren!

Last Song: I think it was "MacArthur Park" by Richard Harris - it's been stuck in my head ever since I saw Beetlejuice Beetlejuice two weeks ago!!

Favorite Color: Pink! 🌸🌷🎀

Currently Watching: At this literal moment in time, a Game Grumps compilation on YouTube (I adore those guys), but as for shows, my roommate and I are in the process of finishing Never Stop Blowing Up from Dimension 20 on @dropoutdottv and the Time Quangle series they just released. And then yesterday I casually restarted Schitt's Creek while working because the Emmy's reminded me how silly it is - I LOVE Catherine O'Hara.

Last Movie: I think it was Blink Twice? The new Channing Tatum movie? It was.........fine. A friend dragged me to it because she recently got broken up with and I felt like I couldn't say no 😅 Ah well! It was nice to spend time with her and get out of the house. But maybe the last movie I watched was Howl's Moving Castle? I can't remember which one I watched the more recently. Howl is a comfort movie for me and I needed a pick me up :)

Sweet/Spicy/Savory?: Sweet!! I LOOOOOOVE a dessert like nobody's biz. Ice cream is my fave. I will eat it at any time of the year.

Current Obsessions: Baldur's Gate 3 (DUH DOY, that one is NEVER leaving my brain, nor do I want it to), Dimension 20, and Game Grumps. Specifically, I've been rewatching the Game Grumps' playthrough of Danganronpa 2 with my sister and having a blast. Gundham Tanaka, the man that you are.......

Last Thing You Googled?: I wish I had a funnier answer, but myself, actually. NOT because I'm incredibly vain or anything, but because I was updating my IMDb page and googling my name brings it up fastest 😅 Watch Young Jedi Adventures on Disney+!

No pressure tagging: @taborrvaldorn, @arzen9, @the-pale-elfs-love, @ampersandnotdash, and @astarioffsimpmain!

[wildknightblaze]

people i want to get to know better

tagged by @ubejamjar, ty :3 don't know who else to tag in response so if you see this and feel like it, consider this an open invitation.

Last Song: A Risky Bet from the recent FFXIV Dawntrail raids. a little weird because my group hasn't even gotten to that part of the fight yet, but it's awesome to have in the background while I'm compiling the strategies and shit for the rest of the group. the drum & bass remixed into the song that was already burrowing into my mind bc it's essentially a Crush 40 3D Sonic theme from my adolescence is just 🤌

Favorite Color: an easy one, right? bet it's soooo hard to guess that the person whose OC has red hair and is always wearing red to the point that she looks weird in anything not red, her favorite color is red, right? trick question. my favorite color is blue. my car is blue, i'd like to paint my walls blue when i have the energy, i just find a deep naval blue to be really soothing, and probably the color i myself look best in. (turns out Ellie has her own tastes. :V)

Currently Watching: rewatching the first season of Gravity Falls because a friend mentioned it, and I never actually watched season 2, so hoping to move into that. After that I'm thinking of rolling a die to pull up something random from the backlog that's been around for years. Or maybe Arcane, idk. Or The Bear. friends have been singing the praises of The Bear.

Last Movie: The MST3k episode of Space Mutiny. A really fun time except, uh, Mike and Crow did a pretty transphobic-stereotype sketch in the middle of it. :/ Stuff made in the 90s sure was made in the 90s. At least the rest of it was pretty funny.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: I am such a spice baby that I got an accidental order of spicy chicken nuggets a couple of days ago and they actually made me sick. >.> Sweetness is nice, but I have way less of a sweet tooth than I do for something like a homemade chicken sandwich.

Relationship Status: single

Current Obsessions: if i am not logging into FFXIV even when i have literally run out of stuff to do, i am dead. part of it is also probably how i'm - not exactly leading my raid static, but I'm the one compiling the strats and teaching them to everyone else (and then executing them wrongly to lead by bad example lmfao). Other than FFXIV though, I've been having a lot of fun with a couple of indies I picked up to delve into while recovering from surgery. Tactical Breach Wizards has a really compelling and satisfying gameplay loop and a fun story; the characters are very snarky so like if the MCU has ruined that for you that can be off-putting, but it's still better-written on average lol. I haven't delved too much into Fields of Mistria but I really want to, it's cute af. I'm also thinking it's about time for another Ace Attorney, but I'm not sure if I want to do Investigations 2 IN HD IN ENGLISH OFFICIALLY or finish Great Ace Attorney 2 ALSO IN HD IN ENGLISH OFFICIALLY... ALSO, friends have started a weekly Civilization VI night in discord in the wake of the announcement of Civ VII, and I reallllly want to deep dive into that. Many fond memories of getting lost in the easy loop of V. also missed opportunity that they didn't call it CiVIlization, or CiVIIlization.

Last Thing in My Search History: "surface pro flex keyboard deals." there are none. absolutely insane how much microsoft is charging for something like this. >:( (the "flex" is important, because turns out the normal surface pro keyboard that is already ridiculously expensive doesn't have bluetooth connectivity, which idk if your thing's approaching two hundred fucking us dollars it doesn't seem like an unreasonable expectation for it to be wireless-capable!!) i gotta stop this before i get really mad about capitalism and the tech industry

[ghostboyhood]

HIIIII !! these r my current favs I'm not sure what you have and haven't seen!

1) pacific rim (certified banger)

2) dune 2 (I don't fuck with dune, but I majorly fuck with the sequel)

3) batman begins (god the score of this film. always stuck in my head. this is my fav movie ever I think)

4) fantastic mr fox (I've always loved this film, but recently I've found myself rewatching it twice a month or so. just a wonderful wonderful experience)

5) Constantine (goddd I love keanu and boy do I want tilda swinton in this movie. BAD!!! SO BAD! I think this film is the best thing catholicism has accomplished)

RAAA HI EGONK!!!

ALL of these are now on my list of movies to watch 🤭🤭

i gotta watch pacific rim for charlie day omg,, my mom told me to watch it a month or two ago i js havent gotten around to it 😕😕

zendaya is in dune!! (and timothee chalhoweveruspellhisname, thats all ik about dune BUT i Will give it a try !!)

christopher nolan love him, giving me the motivation to actually watch batman begins the whole way through this time!! i need to watch the next one with heath ledger anyways so 🤭

my friend has been BEGGING me to watch me fantastic fox for like two years now,, i know its a good movie i just never like... want to watch it when i get the chance idk why, I WILL SOON THOUGH!! ill lyk when i do it genuinely looks soso good

okay i thought i hadnt even heard of this movie but i looked it up and i definitely recognize the poster,, i love keanu reeves so ill more than likely like the movie, and tilda swinton oh my god

RAAA YAY THANK YOU!!! ill lyk when i watch some of these, i need to go on a movie binge soon 😭😭

[platypusplayhere]

Thank you @dangerliesbeforeyou for tagging me, im mentioning all kinds of media bc I love to rant, I have a lot of love in my heart and I have trouble choosing just 8: (im making this on mobile hope it's readable).

Howl's moving castle (2004)

My first experience of gender envy, gender fascination, gender emulation for Howl, at a time I didn't even know that gender was a thing because I was like idek 7 years old.

Kiss of the rabbit god (2019)

A short movie, stumbled onto it bc of Tumblr. You honour, I simply love it.

Shrek (2001)

I'm not being ironic I'm very serious about this one. My mom used to braid my hair weekly when I was little and I constantly played this one, I know it by heart and I'm not joking. I freaking love this movie. Same goes for Mulan, Beauty and the beast, Charlie and the chocolate factory, and the whole Shrek franchise up to the 3rd one. (Gotta watch Puss in boots 1 and 2 tho.)

V for vendetta (2005)

This is a shout-out to 14 years old me who might have at some point based their personality around this movie or maybe they didn't, who's to say. I'm not sorry. Kinda still like it tho.

Corpse bride (2005)

There is an independent cinema in my hometown and they did run it often over the years. Bestie I don't know how many times I went to see this movie with my mother as a child. Recently learned about the Jewish origins of this myth and im a lil upset about the stolen storyline without the context. But some will say it's a Burton movie and they're right.

Valentine's day (2011)

First movie I went to see alone with my friends, I was like 12yo. Rewatched it again like 2 years ago, yeah it ain't that great but it's the memories right.

Father and soldiers (2022)

The last movie that made me cry. I hate war movies but my friends convinced me to go because it was less than 2 hours and I've been mad at movies being more than two and a half hours lately (looking at u House of Gucci, Doctor Strange 2) yeah, I cried my eyes out. It's not a perfect movie but the message is great and very moving. I don't like the English title because the original/French title directly refers the name of a group of African soldier recruited by France in its colonies during WWI -> "Les Tirailleurs" (if I remember well, the soldiers were recruited in every colonies but they left Africa from the Senegal and so all these soldiers are referred as Senegalese regardless of their actual origins). The English title is more fitting thematically wise I'll give you that.

Fulmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (2009)

Knew about it, was recommended by a dear mutual of mine on this very hellsite and yeah, ppl keep saying it's good because it just is.

I told sunset about you/ I promised you the moon (2020-2021)

If you read my tags u know how I rant about this show often. Watched it 2 years ago thanks to someone i follow on Tumblr (but im not really sure who it was anyway if you're a mutual thank you sm). My first foray into BL (back when I didn't even know what it was) and I couldn't be happier that I started with this. I don't have enough words to praise it. (currently writing a post about it tho, stay tuned for whenever I get around to finish it (tell me if u wanna know when it's up), big up to Bad Buddy and To My Star too)

Honoured mentions bc I started making a list and had more than 8 and couldn't not mention them:

Other movies: O'brother, Love and Leashes, God's own country, Jackie Brown, The big lebowsky (idek if I like this movie but I needed something to base my personality around when I was 15yo)

The book The Hunchback of Notre-Dame by Victor Hugo, I'm gonna keep my rant about how the English title is a misunderstanding of the book locked and not even start it.

Alice isn't dead and The Magnus archives (although they're podcasts and I haven't quite finished them, the first seasons are exquisite)

Welcome to Night Vale, I have a lot of episodes to catch up on (currently working on that) started listening like in 2016 then stopped around idek 2 years ago. Some of these episodes are masterpieces ( some I know by heart: Guidelines for disposal, Love is a shambling thing, What happened at the Smithwick House, If he had lived, and The Pilot ofc)

the ballet Swan Lake (1995, 2012) by Matthew Bourne. I don't have enough words. I'll just say it's on youtube.

.....and many more im not think abt rn

*acts surprised* this became a real long post, real quick

(That's why I take a lot of time to answer those lmao, shout out and thank you to the ppl who tag me in these and then I take a lot of time to answer)

Tagging these people and anyone who wants to do it can mention me: @sherlockig @dontbesoevil @lordmeowdemort @namelessbeing @hairbackc0llarup @comrademichael @johnlockdynamic @lovelywickedsoul @frenchsiren

[the-rewatch-rewind]

First guest appearance! Transcript below the break

Hello and welcome back to The Rewatch Rewind, the podcast where I count down my top 40 most rewatched movies. My name is Jane, and in this episode I will be discussing number 34 on my list: 20th Century Fox and Argyle Enterprises’ 1965 musical The Sound of Music, directed by Robert Wise, written by Ernest Lehman with the partial use of ideas by Georg Hurdalek, adapted from the stage musical book by Howard Lindsay and Russel Crouse which was based on the autobiography of Maria von Trapp, and starring Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer.

This is the story of Maria (Julie Andrews), a postulant who is struggling to maintain the discipline required to become a nun, so she is sent to the home of widower Captain Georg von Trapp (Christopher Plummer) to be a governess to his seven children for the summer, and accidentally catches feelings. Also it’s Austria in the late 1930s and bad times are coming.

In previous episodes of this podcast, I’ve talked to you by myself, but in this discussion I will be joined by my dear friend Christina Ailor, whom I met online a few years ago due to our shared appreciation and support for independent filmmakers like Shipwrecked Comedy, the Tin Can Brothers, and Ashley Clements – all of whom have YouTube channels featuring brilliant projects that you should absolutely check out if you’re unfamiliar with their work. Christina and I also share a love for The Sound of Music, as you will be able to tell from this very long, detailed chat that we had about it. Hope you enjoy, here it is!

Jane

Hello!

Christina

 Hi!

Jane

Thank you for joining me on my podcast.

Christina

Hi, thank you for having me.

Jane

I'm so excited to have you as my first guest.

Christina

I feel so honored.

Jane

Because the first time we met in person, we watched a movie together. And it was not this movie. But it did have Christopher Plummer in it. So…

Christina

That's true. Oh, my goodness. I didn't even think about that connection. Yeah.

Jane

But sadly I don't get to talk about Knives Out on this podcast because I've only seen it eight times. But Sound of Music. I have watched 15 times and we have watched it together.

Christina

It's true. Virtually.

Jane

Yes, so the first time I watched Knives Out was with you and the most recent time I watched Sound of Music was with you, so it's all. It's all connected.

Christina

Yay! Well, I just watched some of it this morning to refresh myself and I don't know how many times I've watched the Sound of Music, but it's definitely one of the most watched of my life, and the episode that you just released a couple days ago was Princess Bride, which is also like one of my top most watched movies. So I was like, wow, like this week. It's just in the Jane rewind rewatch. It's it's all about. What Christina watches all the time.

Jane

Yes, we have similar taste in movies. So do you remember the first time you ever saw Sound of Music?

Christina

I am not sure exactly when the first time I saw it, but I do have a memory of receiving the video cassettes for my birthday and I'm not sure it was either my 4th or 5th birthday. I know that for certain because we were living in a house that we only lived in for a couple of years. And I remember being so excited. I think that I had the audio cassette of the songs and I also had a picture book or something where it came with an audio cassette and it would like have a sound to turn the page and it kind of told an abbreviated story of the Sound of Music. So I was already familiar with, like the general plot and the songs. And then I got this two-VHS set and was just thrilled and looking back it's like hilarious to me that I was already, like, so fully formed at like 4 years old. And it was just like, yes. And you know, a few years ago, like, as I got into my late 20s, I was like, wow, like, do I really love Sound of Music because it's great or because of the nostalgia factor? And then when I started rewatching it again, I like, tried to have a more critical eye. And I just thought, you know what? I think this is a really great. I think I just had really great taste, starting from the age of four.

Jane

Yeah. That's fair. Yeah I feel like I got into it later than that in life like, I was aware of it. And I think it was another one of those movies where it was just like always on TV or it was on TV at certain times of year. So I know I watched like bits and pieces of it. And I remember we watched at least part of it in school in like third grade, and I have no idea why, but I have this memory of watching it in my third grade classroom.

Christina

Yeah, I think you know, like if you're trying to teach, like, Nazis are bad, it's a it's a great, like primer and it's rated G. Like there's not that many movies that talk about Nazis being bad, that's also rated G.

Jane

Yeah, yeah. No, that's true. Well, and. And I had a very deprived childhood because we didn't have a VCR until I was, like, 10.

Christina

What?! Whoa!

Jane

So I couldn't watch movies at home that much unless they were on TV, like we had cable and we had some, like, movie channels, so like.

Christina

Wow this puts this, the whole concept of this podcast and like, how much you rewatch movies into this whole new context for me, I'm just…

Jane

Yes.

Christina

Wow, this is a whole new perspective has opened up for me. I feel like you need to do an episode that's like just about your journey of like becoming a film buff.

Jane

Yeah, yeah, that's true. I probably should do a bonus episode explaining that, but bits and pieces will come out in the episodes. Uh, but yeah, so, I didn't ever have it on VHS. I'm pretty sure that I must have gotten it on DVD around 2004 because that was like when we got a DVD player for the living room. So then we started getting DVDs. So I think it was around 2004 and that year I watched it four times. And so that was when I was like really into it and it was also around the same time I got into Mary Poppins. So I was like, really having a Julie Andrews phase right then.

Christina

I mean. That's the best kind of phase to have

Jane

Yeah, for sure.

Christina

And Princess Diaries came out like, right around then too, didn't it?

Jane

Yeah. Yeah. I think Princess Diaries was 2001 and that was like… I like, was aware of who Julie Andrews was before then, but that was really what got me into Julie Andrews was Princess Diaries, which seems a little backwards.

Christina

Whatever gets you there, to the Julie Andrews obsession.

Jane

Yes, absolutely. So, yeah, so that was at that point because like, my freshman year of high school was 2004 to 2005, and that year I told people that Sound of Music was my all-time favorite movie and I watched it a lot in that era. But then again, it was kind of like I didn't watch it for a while and thought like, OK, maybe it's just nostalgia. But then rewatching it later, I was like, oh, this movie is great. And then I went to several sing alongs of it. I think I looked back, I'm pretty sure I've been to four Sound of Music sing alongs.

Christina

Wow, I have been to one sing along and it was, I went with my family. I don't know if you, like what your sing along experiences were, but I went with my family and there was varying levels of enthusiasm within my family about attending, but I was so excited and so my mom's dad was a marine and served in West Germany when she was a kid, so they actually lived in Berlin for part of her childhood. So we have like, in my family we have a lot of, like dirndls and lederhosen. I don't know. We just, like, have those in our family closet. And so I was, you know, dressed up in a dirndls. And then my brother was wearing this like Austrian looking hat. And during the there was like a costume contest at the beginning and he actually won because everyone else got up and they were like, I'm dressed as this child and he got up and was this little 10-year-old boy and he said he was dressed as Uncle Max.

Jane

Ugh, amazing.

Christina

And that got a huge laugh. And then people were like, oh, like you get the prize.

Jane

Yeah, I've never participated in the costume contest part of the Sing Alongs, but they they always have them at the beginning and it's fun to see like, what creative things people come up with cause a lot of times it's like people dressed as the characters. But then, like, they'll be like dressed as some of the favorite things from the song. Or like this one time there was a group of people that were dressed as hills that were alive and they were like labeled as hills from the neighborhood and stuff. So that was fun. The first time I went to one, it was because one of the pastors at my church at the time had mentioned it in a sermon that, like that was a thing that happened at this theater nearby. And I was like, what? I need to go to this. I did not know this existed. And so then I like messaged her and she, like, kind of it wasn't an official church event, but she sort of put together like various people from the church that she thought would be interested. And so we all went and saw it together. So nobody else from my family went. It was just me and a bunch of other people I knew from church. And that was really fun. And I like, distinctly remember at intermission being like, oh, my gosh, I love this movie so much. And one of the kids that was there was like, well, yeah, it's a great movie. And I was like like, Yep, Yep. It is. So then the next year was the 50th anniversary of Sound of Music.

Christina

OK.

Jane

And so I went again with, like, my family and friends, and that year was the year that Duane Chase, who played Kurt in the movie, actually came to the Sing along.

Christina

Oh wow.

Jane

Because he lives kind of nearby in this area now.

Christina

Oh, OK, cool.

Jane

So he came to that and that was really fun because, like, at the sing alongs, they give you, like stuff to do and say at certain points.

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

It's like you're supposed to cheer whenever Julie Andrews comes on screen and Boo the Nazis and stuff like that. So then every time Kurt did anything, everybody was cheering for him. And it was really fun. And then afterwards I got a picture with him.

Christina

Nice.

Jane

But he seemed, it seemed like he was getting kind of tired of being there because he, he stopped acting after his childhood, so he's not really into like being in the spotlight, but it was fun that he came for that.

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

I think the year after that they didn't have one because where they do the screening around here is like a stage theater and they were doing Sound of Music the stage show that year, so they didn't have a movie sing along. But then the following year I went again. And then I kind of stopped doing it cause I was like it gets to be a little repetitive if you go a lot, but it is really fun and it's it's just great to be in a whole big theater full of people who love the movie. But then I went again at a different place when I was visiting my siblings the year before last. So that was really fun too. Just being in a completely different part of the country and doing the same sort of thing. So I love those singalongs.

Christina

Awesome. Well, should we talk about why we love this movie so much?

Jane

Yes, we should. So do you have a favorite part? Do you have a favorite song?

Christina

Well, I oh, I don't know if I could choose a favorite. You know, I'm I'm more of the my favorite things theory of life. You just list out all the things you love, but then we would be here all day.

Jane

That's true.

Christina

But I did, I have my many notes here, and one thing that I just always get so excited about when the movie starts is it's probably one of my favorite openings of a movie of all time.

Jane

Me too.

Christina

I love you know the aerial shots. It's so beautiful. And then I love the sound of it and how it just starts with the wind blowing. And then they bring in the birds, and then they gradually layer in the orchestration of the hills are alive song and then, just like zooming in on Maria spinning around on the hill. Just every time I watch it, I A) am just like this is so beautiful and B) think gotta get myself on a Viking River cruise to actually like, go to there and like, I just want to go to Salzburg every time I watch. I'm like, should I? Should I become a hiker? Should I learn how to climb mountains so I can be there?

Jane

Oh, my gosh. That opening is so good. And I think it's really interesting because in the stage show, Maria sings a like little verse before the hills are alive, like there's a little “my day in the hills has come to an end I know,” and in the movie they don't sing that, but they just play that like, that's the instrumental like introduction. And I think that's really interesting. I don't know why they chose to do it that way, but I really like it because it's like kind of like more gradually building into the song and then just like having it the first lyrics be, “The hills are alive.”

Christina

So can we agree that Julie Andrews is like one of the greatest singers of all time?

Jane

Oh 100%.

Christina

So yeah, it's just like we're going to give you exactly what you want, like, right away, and just let her, like, belt out this line. Like she doesn't have to work up to it. And it's just, it's like starting on a climax. And it's so beautifully cinematic. And I think that there's, you know, there's so few movies that shoot on location to that extent, and especially so many Hollywood musicals were shot on soundstages. Completely and now, they're very rarely shot on location like that. And so it's really, just one of the most immersive movie musicals that I can think of. And I just love how it goes right into the opening credits is like all these shots of Salzburg as well. And it just really like puts you in this place, and… “time” – I’m doing air quotes for time.

Jane

I mean, it's a very ‘60s version of World War II.

Christina

And it's also so just before we talk more about the movie, just some more background about me and Sound of Music in general is I have never seen the stage version actually, and I knew that there were some changes and I have like looked up the differences. I think that I’m so obsessed with the movie, I don't know if I would really fully like seeing the stage version at this point? Because all of the changes that I've seen them make, I'm like, yeah, I agree with that. But I also have read the actual Maria von Trapp autobiography, and I think I read that when I was like in middle school or high school. And so her actual story with the von Trapp really took place in the 20s. And then they were married for, like, a decade. And then the Nazis showed up and tried to get him to work for them. So they, you know, they definitely took some artistic license. And I agree, like some of the hemlines in this movie I’m like that is not a 1930s hemline, that is a 1960s hemline. But you know, it's still beautiful. So yeah, we're going to let it go.

Jane

Yeah. So I've seen three different productions of the stage version, I think. But one of them, I don't know if it really counts, cause it was like a youth theater, like it wasn't a professional thing. But I saw that one first because my brother was the student stage manager. But then the person who was supposed to play the main Nazi dropped out. So my brother ended up playing the main Nazi character too. So I saw that one and then I saw it at the 5th Ave. which is the theater where I see the sing alongs. They did their own stage production of it and that was pretty good. There were a few things about it that I was like, oh, but the movie is so much better, but it was interesting to see. And then I saw there was like, a  national tour of it a couple of years later. And that was amazing. The singing in that was so good. It was no Julie Andrews, but it was still really good. So I enjoyed the stage version and a lot of it is very similar to the movie, but certain things changed and it was interesting to see those changes. Obviously I prefer the movie, but I'm biased because I've seen it so many more times. But yeah, I enjoyed the stage show. But I think what you said about the location thing is so true cause so many movie musicals feel very, like contained in a soundstage. And this feels very open and like it is its own little world, but it's also like part of the real world. And I think that's really part of what makes it so powerful is like, yeah, it is its own, like, musical world. But it's also like real and yeah, it's not really the real story, but like, it feels like it's part of the world.

Christina

Yeah, and I also think like the historical beats that they're hitting are real, like the way that the play and the movie ends is not actually how they escaped Austria, in part because there's not a border right there. But I do think, like what it's trying to tell us about, like that political moment there is some, some truth there and it's valuable I think. Comparing it to other movie musicals, when I was watching it this morning, one that came to mind was the new West Side Story.

Jane

Oh yeah.

Christina

I haven't seen the old West Side Story in a little while. I know that that one also starts with an aerial shot and they were actually worried about the Sound of Music being seen as copycatting that.

Jane

Oh really?

Christina

Yeah, so it shared some production team and then the, I think it was the screenwriter, like, insisted on the aerial shot of the Alps. And they're like, uh, like people just saw that with West Side Story, so they're probably not gonna like that. But then according to Wikipedia, they couldn't think of anything better.

Jane

Oh, that's so funny because, yeah, I guess they, they are similar, but I never thought of them as being similar before because it's such a different setting that they're showing you.

Christina

It's such a different setting and also like you know, it's written by such a different team. You know it's they're both from that era I guess, but the new- what I was going to say is like the new West Side Story is really a beautiful movie and they put so much work into the details of taking us back to that New York, but at the same time it doesn't have that expansiveness that they were able to have by just like shooting on location in Salzburg because the New York of West Side Story, you know, no longer exists. It kind of like never existed. They just made it up for that musical but like, you know, the New York of the 1950s, like, truly no longer exist. So they really had to create sound stages and sets for that. And despite like the enormous amount of detail and scale that Steven Spielberg was trying to put into it, you just can't match it with like an actual mountain.

Jane

Yeah, that's so true. Also I have to, I have to mention because Julie Andrews mentions it a lot, that that spin that she does that's captured by the helicopter shot. Every single take of it the like downdraft from the helicopter, it would completely knock her over right after they shot, so she would spin around and then she would fall over and they kept doing it. And she so at one point she was like, trying to gesture to the people, like, do a wider turn so you don't knock me over. And they just like waved, they're like,” oh, hi, yeah, we're doing this!” So she fell over on that hill a lot.

Christina

Oh no! Yeah, you can definitely, if you're like, watching very closely to it, you can see her do the spin and then then they immediately cut to

Jane

Yeah, to a close up of her, yeah.

Christina

Yeah, that's so funny. Also, apparently the stream that she crosses is like plastic.

Jane

Oh yeah, and at one point, like a farmer in the area destroyed it because they were mad about, like, people filming there.

Christina

That's fair. I can't, I can't blame him. It's like stop putting plastic streams on this natural beauty. That's it's so funny to me that I understand why they when she like, walks through the Birch trees. I mean that is like so perfect. I was like, I bet they brought those Birch trees in and they did. But with the stream, when I found out that was fake, I was like, you couldn't find a real stream? It seems like they would be all over the place.

Jane

Yeah, I don't know. But moving on from the opening scene, so the next song is how do you solve a problem like Maria? And I just like, I've always loved that song. I think it's very fun, but I remember as a kid I definitely misunderstood what it was about. And I thought that they were asking, How do you solve a problem the way Maria solves problems?

Christina

Oh my gosh, that is so funny.

Jane

Like I didn't realize they were calling her a problem. I thought like, oh, she's such a good problem solver. How do you how do you emulate that, and then later realized what it was actually about? And I was like, oh, OK, that's very different song.

Christina

OK, I actually have half a page of notes just about this song.

Jane

Oh wow. OK.

Christina

And I like knew what it was about the whole time, I'm pretty sure. And I really identify with this song and love it. And like in the same way that you know, on this podcast, you're often talking about, here's my aroace perspective on things and and like looking back on watching these movies, you're realizing maybe why you connected with certain elements. So I definitely do that now that I realize that I'm neurodivergent and had undiagnosed ADHD as a child. And I'm like, oh, like so many things make sense. And this song I am like, oh, like, this is why I loved this song so much because I as a kid was so often criticized for not doing things the way that other people did them, and I was always late and I was always daydreaming and I was just asked by a lot of authority figures in my life. They, you know, they were always like, you're so sweet, and you're so smart. Why can't you just, you know, do things the way that other kids do them? And I think that I found this song very validating, first of all, to see I wasn't the only person in the world to be criticized for that and then to have that person end up being the hero of this story and the central focus of this story, I think, meant a lot to me. And it's, it's part of why I think I always identified with Maria. But I also love that this song is in part people complaining about her, but in part people defending her.

Jane

Yeah.

Christina

Bringing up over and over again all these reasons that they love her and that they find these things that are, you know, weird about her, also to be endearing. And it really holds a special place in my heart because of that.

Jane

Oh, wow. That's great. That makes a lot of sense. The reason I love this song is not anything near as personal as that. I just, I've always loved songs that have a lot of fun lyrics and I just love that there's all these really silly words in it and stuff, and so I've always loved singing along to it because of that. And also it's very fun that Marni Nixon is one of the nuns in that song because she was frequently the singing voice of actors who couldn't sing in movies, and I talked about in the Mary Poppins episode that Julie Andrews was not cast in My Fair Lady because she hadn't done a movie before, and Audrey Hepburn was, even though Audrey Hepburn did not have the singing voice for that character, and so her singing was dubbed by Marni Nixon, who makes an appearance in the Sound of Music, which is kind of funny, that connection there because she didn't often her face was not often in movies, and she was usually uncredited as the singing voice cause the studios wanted to maintain the facade of like, look our stars are such good singers!

Christina

Oh studios. Well, I'm glad that she got to have her due in this one.

Jane

So she's sister Sophia. She’s just in that one scene, I think.

Christina

Yeah, but they all have, like such individual personalities and make such a strong impression, all those nuns.

Jane

Yeah, definitely. And that's also true of the children, which I think is great like that they have seven children and you would think they would kind of blend together, but they really are all distinct. Even the ones that don't get to do very much, like I think Louisa is probably the least developed of the children.

Christina

Yeah, and it's funny, apparently, that Louisa, like the second oldest daughter, is like the one that the historical Maria von Trapp was brought to be her tutor. And was not going to be like a governess for all seven of them. So, you know, they supposedly like probably had the strongest relationship at the beginning of the story historically.

Jane

But they all had different names in real life too, right?

Christina

Yeah, actually that the real life second sister was named Maria, which was part of why they changed all of the names of the kids.

Jane

That would have been confusing.

Christina

Yeah, they're just like, no, this is not necessary. Yeah so I love how do you solve a problem like Maria? And I also love that they bring it back as their wedding song?

Jane

It's just like, yes, of course I will walk down the aisle to song about how I'm a problem.

Christina

I mean, it's crazy cause like if they just played the theme then it would be just like a fun, you know, musical reprise. But they actually have the nuns sing the words!

Jane

Well, and and they don't go in the church, which I'm like, are nuns, not allowed to go to weddings. Is this a rule?

Christina

It seems like it is a rule it because, you know, they're brides of Christ? I don't, I mean, I'm not Catholic, so I, I can't weigh in on this, but I think that it has something to do with like the barrier, and also they were always upset with Maria for just randomly leaving the Abbey and they had all of these rules about that, so maybe they're just like we need special permission to go through these gates.

Jane

Yeah, I don't know. That's always been weird to me, that they're just like standing outside singing the Maria Song while she's getting married. It's like.

Christina

We’re just like, never forget that we thought you were weird.

Jane

And she’s like, This is why I left you guys.

Christina

Yeah, she's just like you know what? It makes me even more glad that I'm committing to this family. OK, so jumping ahead slightly. Maria is with the von Trapp family. OK, so she starts off at the convent. Then let me just go through the whole plot. She starts out at the convent. They're like, you're weird. Please go be a governess for “a while.” Again air quotes because I think that Mother Superior was like, I don't think it's going to work out here, and was like, looking for a long term way to get her out.

Jane

Bye.

Christina

And then she leaves, and then she is like having all these conflicted feelings about Captain von Trapp so then she goes back to the convent. She has always planned to take her vows as a nun and that has always been her dream. And it's always been her dream to serve God and so she's just feeling very conflicted about it. And then when she goes to Mother Superior, which I believe is the scene where Mother Superior sings climb every mountain to her.

Jane

Yes.

Christina

But part of their conversation is Mother Superior basically saying, we serve God here by taking our vows, but that's not the only way to serve God and to have faith, and if you love this man and want to be a mother to these children, that is another way to serve God and you can take your faith out into the community. And I was someone who was raised as Jane, as you know, I was raised in the Christian faith and I think that's another reason I always really connected with Maria was like that longing to connect with God and serve God. But I think another reason I really love this movie is because that is one of the messages is that you can bring whatever your light is, whatever your you know, spark is, there's a lot of ways that you can bring that to the world and be a good in the world and you don't necessarily have to be following like a really strict lifestyle like being a nun.

Jane

Yeah, well, and I think it's sort of backwards to me because they're saying like it's OK to get married and have a romantic relationship. But I think like, part of the way I interpreted it is that there's no correct path.

Christina

Yes, exactly.

Jane

There's no one path for every person like you have to do what feels right for you. And so for Maria, it was very clearly marrying Captain von Trapp. But like, if people are saying the correct path is to get married and have a family like that doesn't mean that everybody has to do that.

Christina

Yeah, that's not going to be for everyone.

Jane

Yeah, so I think that it's even encouraging in that it is a romantic story, it's encouraging for people who don't want that kind of relationship too, to be like, well, but that was right for her. They're not saying everybody has to do that.

Christina

And I don't actually know how you say out loud the the word for ama-normativity?

Jane

Amatonormativity? That's how I say it. I don't actually know if that's how you pronounce it.

Christina

As you have brought up before this idea that is pushed on us by culture, that like there is one way like the normative part of it and then the amatonormative part of it is relationships and romantic relationships, like you have to be in one to be living the right life and, yeah, I definitely think that this movie and this musical is trying to say there is no right way and you can't say being a nun, you know isn't the right way, but then being in a relationship is. No, like, that was what was right for her and what was right for Uncle Max was being a musical group producer and leaching off of his rich friends, and I do think that it ties in to the anti-Nazi themes of the movie because I at least associate a lot of that movement, and like fascism in general with the idea of like there is only one right way.

Jane

Oh yeah, that's a good point.

Christina

And we're going to force people to be this one right way. And the heroes of this movie are all saying that's not how people are. People are going to be different and they need connection and they need to have faith in each other. So yeah, I think those are all…hopefully I've teased out these, these themes that I'm trying to.

Jane

Yeah, no, I think that makes a lot of sense. That, like the movie, presents the only wrong way to live is if you're denying the way you actually feel.

Christina

Right. I also think I was mostly thinking of this topic in comparison to other Rodgers and Hammerstein musicals. I wasn't really thinking about like other musicals or movies in general. But I really think that, despite how much I love other songs from Rodgers and Hammerstein musicals, I don't love any of them to the extent that I love this one, and I think that part of it is that this movie is about two people who, their arc is to recognize what their values are and then very purposefully try to shape their lives around their values. And that's really like the arc of Maria and the captain. And I don't think that that's necessarily the arc of most of the Rodgers and Hammerstein musicals, and some of them actually, although they're like, seen as the pinnacle of book musicals, are a little bit messy thematically. Whereas this one Maria is figuring out, OK, I thought that serving God was my only value, but actually family and being in touch with my creative spirit are also very important values for me. And once she's able to choose those things, that's how she ends up being part of the von Trapp family, and then, you know, moving with them to Americ. And the same with Captain von Trapp. Like he's kind of in this place in his life at the beginning of the movie where he's just bogged down in grief. But then during the course of the movie, in addition to him realizing, oh I want my life centered around my children, I again want to connect with like that creativity and the music, and then also for him a big part of it is... I guess, like I'm trying to think of the right word, but like being an Austrian and like having like principles of not giving in to what the Nazis want him to do. He really decides for himself that he has these strong values and then they decide, oh, we can shape our lives around these together. And that's really the arc, like there are two emotional arcs like converging.

Jane

Yeah.

Christina

I'm doing a hand motion that the podcast listeners will obviously really appreciate where I’m moving my hands together.

Jane

Just just imagine the hand motion. Yeah, no, I think that that makes a lot of sense and it's less, I mean, obviously there's romance involved with that, and it's not just like they're getting together because it feels inevitable, but like, I think that that's definitely a big part of it is realizing like that they have similar values and want to live their lives together, and I think that there's, there's a perception of the way the plot is that like the bareness is the villain that's trying to keep them apart and stuff. But like, if you actually watch it, I have very strong feelings. The Baroness did nothing wrong, OK? She was just trying to keep her man. But she realized that they weren't actually meant for each other, and they had different values, and…

Christina

Yeah, she's pretty chill. Although she does bring up sending the kids to boarding school.

Jane

Right. But also like, the kids were probably going to boarding school anyway to be honest. Like we just see them during summer break like we don't know what their normal school is like.

Christina

That's true.

Jane

And also, apparently the children were- this is a thing that bothers me about the movie. They talk about how awful the children are and how they always like terrorized their their previous governesses and stuff but when we see them, they are like the sweetest, most well behaved children.

Christina

We put a frog in Mario's pocket and a pine cone on her chair. Are you just going to ignore these indiscretions, Jane?

Jane

It just doesn't seem like they actually did that though. Like, I mean, I know they supposedly did, but I just can't imagine those children actually doing that. They just they seem too nice.

Christina

Well, I don't know Brigitta is…

Jane

Oh yeah, she's a little mischievous.

Christina

…pretty judgy. I think that if you like a movie too much, you can start thinking a little bit too hard about it. And there's definitely some, like, timeline things because I was like, OK, so Gretl’s five, so their mother can't have passed away more than five years ago, and they've had 12 governesses in five years. So like, they're really going through these governesses fast. And also so Liesel was like 11 when all this started. So I feel like maybe at first, she was like she and Friedrich, like, started out by, like, playing tricks but like, surely they would have aged out of that a little bit by now. And now it's more like Kurt and Bergita who are getting up to these antics. But Gretel and Marta, they've, they've never done anything wrong. Those two sweet angels.

Jane

Oh, yeah, that's fair. And it's also very clear that the children just want attention, and Maria provides them more productive attention. So then they

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

They stop being such troublemakers because they're excited about the singing part.

Christina

And I think in part we could say, oh, you know, it's a, it's a movie and they didn't have the screen time to show us. I mean, they could have, at this…once you hit 3 hours, why not just add in a couple more scenes? But you know, because they're kind of compressing the timeline they wanted to show them just liking Maria immediately. But, you know, maybe also if you're looking at it from, if you're trying to justify it from the perspective of a fan, maybe the idea is that other governesses have come in and like gone along with their dad with the whistling stuff. And they've just been like, yes, we are going to be very regimented. And so from the very first impression, they kind of lumped all of these governesses in together as you're just part of this system that our dad has created to put a cage around his grief and not deal with his feelings and also not deal with us as human beings. And then Maria comes in and just says, No, I'm not going to do that. So maybe even just that first impression they were like, ugh, like we'll just do a frog and then and then by that way, they're singing my favorite things with her, so

Jane

Yeah, well, that's good. And also she comforts them during the thunderstorm. So I think that really, that really broke the ice. And I also I have to share my favorite story about that scene, because apparently that was pretty early on in the shoot. And Julie Andrews taught the kids supercalifragilisticexpialidocious because Mary Poppins hadn't come out yet when they were filming it, to sort of like, break the ice with them. And so they felt really at ease with her in real life, as well as the characters starting to feel at ease with her. So I think that's very cute.

Christina

That's lovely. Yeah, that's so cute. I love, there's a couple little scenes that it's just Liesl and Maria talking, and they really did find a good dynamic there of like, this older girl being like, I need more of a friend than, or like a mentor and less of a governess or a mother really. And I I love their relationship.

Jane

Yeah I always felt sad because when she, when Liesl sneaks in her window after singing in the gazebo in the rain and Maria says “OK, put your dress in the bathtub and then we'll have a talk.” But then they never get to have the talk because the kids come in and it's the thunderstorm. And I'm like, I want to see that scene!

Christina

I think that later they did have a talk. I hope Liesl.. alright, well, like, since we've brought up the topic of Liesl, I have several things to say. First of all, 16 going on 17 such a catchy song

Jane

It really is.

Christina

and it's, it's in my head all the time and it's a great song But it's also…full of red flags.

Jane

Oh yeah, for sure. I don't remember if it was you. Somebody when we were watching it virtually commented that like Rolf, is taking this song very seriously. And Liesl kind of sees it as like flirtatious, like, role play kind of thing. And I think that's exactly what it is. She doesn't realize how serious he is about it because she's into the like little fun, flirty aspect of it. But if you listen to what he's actually saying it's like, Oh dear.

Christina

Like, “I am a men's rights activist and a Nazi.” And then she's just like, “oh, you!” Um, yeah, but having been a 16 year old girl who liked guys, I really enjoy that song still because now I can see, like, how much Rolf sucks. But I also can see how many of the guys that I liked when I was around that age sucked. And like how bad I was at seeing red flags, and you know, nothing really ever escalated to the extent that it does for Liesl’s family. But I do have like a lot of sympathy for her there. And ugh, man, men's rights activist. It just makes you think like they will find any reason to be upset. They can have someone as gorgeous and as fun as Liesl trying to flirt with them, and they're just like, “But what if we were Nazis?”

Jane

And like your dad should be a Nazi. Like, that's what we should be talking about right now.

Christina

Yeah, he basically says that in that scene. He's just like, have you ever, like, told your dad to be a Nazi? And, you know, she doesn't really know what's going on. It is interesting. When I was rewatching this again, I was like, it's interesting how they're able to convey that Nazis are so bad, but they don't actually ever get into, like, why they are bad. They're really relying on the audience to have some of like that historical and cultural context. Like they don't even make it clear that there is going to be a war, really? I mean, they kind of they they do cause they're like we're we need Captain von Trapp to come serve in our military. But they just really like gloss over, like the horrors that are to come and that they're escaping from. They're just like we need to escape.

Jane

Yeah, it. And it is interesting because they do say the thing about like “The Anschluss happened peacefully” or whatever. But like, they don't explain what that means.

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

They're just like, OK, cool. And I mean, there is that tension. I think it's good that they have Max there as a character cause I feel like he sort of voices what most people were probably feeling at the time of like, this is just going to happen, we have to accept it. And Georg being a little bit more unusual with his like, “No, this is horrible. We don't want this!”

Christina

Right.

Jane

But again, they don't really explain exactly what's going on, and I think that probably at the time, well and even like because the stage musical was from 1959 and this is 1965. So people like knew. Like the war had only been like 20 years earlier, like people knew what happened. But I think it's interesting that like this is such a timeless classic and like it's still very much in the pop culture conversation. Like people know Sound of Music. But like, we're much farther removed from the events now, and I do think it's interesting that like a lot of people consider the Baroness the villain of the film and like, are more focused on the love triangle thing. It's like, the Nazis are right there!

Christina

Yeah, Nazis are definitely the villains of the film. I agree with you that the Baroness does nothing wrong.

Jane

She steps away gracefully.

Christina

Yes, but I will say that we see in that scene when Max is like, “what's gonna happen is gonna happen, and it's not my fault that I'm not a political person and I can't help it that other people are,” and then Georg says, “Yes, you can!” And that's really the first time that we're seeing Captain von Trapp recognizing, I have these, like, strong values that I want to shape my life around. And the Baroness is just kind of like, “Everyone, like, chill out.”

Jane

Yeah.

Christina

She is not really siding with Captain von Trapp. And saying, “Yes Georg, like I agree with you. Nazis are so bad!”

Jane

Which Maria does. Yeah, because there's definitely that scene when Max says, “You need to talk some sense into him. He has to cooperate with these people,” and she says, “I can't ask him to be less than he is.” And it's just like, she gets it. The Baroness does not. So, yeah, I agree that the Baroness and the captain do not belong together.

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

But I also don't think that she's like, the most evil character in the story, but yeah, she is again kind of like the typical Austrian or German of like, I'm not a Nazi, but I don't want to stand up to them.

Christina

I would say that the most evil actually is the Butler. He turns them in and it's like…

Jane

It's very subtle, though they like, don't explicitly say that, but then you just see him looking ominously out the window when the Nazis show up.

Christina

Yeah, but it is, gosh, it's so interesting. I know that most or probably most of your audience is not going to be familiar with the more recent musical, Spies Are Forever. I know you are, Jane.

Jane

Well, actually most of my audience is probably my friends who are familiar with it, but yeah.

Christina

That's true, but just in case, there's anyone who's not familiar. It's a musical that you can see on YouTube in full, and it takes place in, like, the 60s. And it's like, sort of a James Bond theme spies thing. And Nazis kind of try to make like a comeback in that, which I guess they do in James Bond as well all the time. They recently did a concert version of that, that musical and the creators were talking about when they wrote it in 2015, they just didn't realize that Nazis actually would make a comeback in 2016, and they would be part of our national conversation so much. Yeah, like during the years of 2016 to 2017, I think a lot of people realized that just random people in their lives actually agreed with very conservative and fascist viewpoints. That because we just didn't talk about our personal politics as much, we didn't realize that about each other. And so that moment of like realizing that your Butler has been a Nazi sympathizer this whole time actually, like, isn't that unrealistic of a moment.

Jane

Yeah ,going back to Max too, like, Georg even says to him like, “Sometimes I don't believe I know you” or something like that, when he he expresses like we should just get along with people is like, yeah, I think that that happened to a lot of people in the sort of 2016 era of like, assuming that everyone agrees with you that certain things are bad and then realizing like, oh, you don't think this is that big of a deal.

Christina

Right. Yeah.

Jane

OK, didn't didn't see that coming. Like Georg always, like he knows what kind of person Max is, that he's like, just trying to make, make a buck as quickly as he can, and like exploiting singers to get money from them and stuff like that. But I think he didn't realize what that would translate to. And I think that Max has a nice arc in that at the end, he helps them escape, even though he knows that's losing him money.

Christina

Yeah, the greatest sacrifice anyone could make: Max giving up the chance to win money.

Jane

Yeah, exactly. And that that escape is so good. I love the way they do it. It's amazing.

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

The way that they sing So Long, Farewell, like a reprise of So Long Farewell and just kind of sneak away. And nobody thinks anything of it. And then there's the lady who bows like 15 times.

Christina

Yes, the bowing lady!

Jane

I love her.

Christina

Yeah, they just keep bowing at each other!

Jane

I know this doesn't actually make sense, but I like to think that she was somehow in on it, and she was trying to do her part to help them escape by delaying their announcement.

Christina

Oh man, she's so great. I also love, at the end when they're like, hiding in the cemetery, and then they leave in the caretakers car and the Nazis’ cars won't start. And then the nuns are like, “Mother Superior….”

Jane

“I have sinned!”

Christina

“I have sinned!” and then they show that they've stolen the parts. What a great moment! Like that is just…

Jane

Yeah, and that's like that's like basically how the movie ends, cause it cuts from that to them walking across the mountains and…

Christina

And just like hearing the song Climb Every Mountain playing over that. Yeah, but like, what a great, like the nuns get the last laugh in the end and I love that for them.

Jane

Yeah, I think, I mean, what you were saying earlier about, like other Rodgers and Hammerstein shows, I'm not actually like that familiar with most of their other shows. Like I've seen most of them, like at least once. And then I guess the one I'm most familiar with is their version of Cinderella, and those songs were actually written for Julie Andrews, to make everything come full circle. But like I just a lot of their other shows, I have like major issues with a lot of the the aspects of them like they're kind of racist, they're kind of misogynistic. They like, have a lot of problematic elements and there's like a little bit of that in Sound of Music. I do think like, I mean, I love that Maria and Liesl have a conversation, but I think that that 16 going on 17 Reprise has a lot of, like problematic moments in there like that. Like “lo and behold, you're someone's wife and you belong to him” is a little bit like, ergh…

Christina

That's very strong written by a man vibes.

Jane

Yeah, exactly. It's like, we got to remind you that it's written by a man, but I feel like it has less of that than their other shows.

Christina

Oh yeah, I feel like most of their other shows, it's like maybe the ending is supposed to be, like kind of happy, but also there was definitely at least one tragic death that we're supposed to just ignore.

Jane

And also just like that, the the romantic leads actually don't have a healthy relationship and you're just kind of like I, I don't actually want them to be together? And so I think that the fact that this one is like they do have a healthy relationship, they clearly do belong together and also like it's more about getting away from the Nazis and standing up for what you believe in than promoting toxic, dysfunctional relationships that I think is part of why this one has become like the one that everyone talks about, and it was their last collaboration because I think Hammerstein died shortly after.

Christina

OK. I didn't realize it was their last one.

Jane

The musical premiered in 59 and Hammerstein died in 60. And so there's a couple of songs that were added for the movie that were just written by Rodgers without Hammerstein because he had died already.

Christina

Oh wow.

Jane

So like I Have Confidence and Something Good, I think.

Christina

And I love those songs. Well especially I Have Confidence, like that is such a great song.

Jane

Yeah, yeah, but some of the lyrics are a little weird, and it's like, maybe they could have used Hammerstein to help with that?

Christina

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I yeah, that's true.

Jane

But it does. It is very a very powerful song and I love that scene a lot.

Christina

Yeah, I guess Something Good is…I'm glad that they put it in there, but, it is like, what? Like it is like, you really have to listen to the lyrics to understand what they're talking about sometimes. Like it's very convoluted logic where they're just like, “I was a bad kid. But I must have done something good to be with you,” and it's like what like?

Jane

Yeah, I don't, and I don't really understand like it does, it seems kind of out of place. I feel like they could have made it better by like, making it be like, “I've never felt at home before. Like, I've always felt like I didn't fit in and, and you make me feel like that.” Like that would be a better message to have in that song instead of just being like, “I'm evil. But I must have done something good to deserve you.”

Christina

So I gotta ask as a as an aroace person, do you just like really avoid glass gazebos in general? Because it's seems like…

Jane

[laughter]

Christina

Based on the Sound of Music, like they're only allowed to be used for romantic moments.

Jane

Romantic songs. Yeah, every time I see one I'm like, “Ahhh! Run awaaay!” Umm, no, I hadn't ever really thought about that before. I do remember thinking that the Something Good scene was very boring and and then I also think just like, finding out that a lot of people love this movie because like they find Christopher Plummer really attractive, was very strange to me. Or like they watch it because of the love story. Because I was always like, yeah, it's there, it's it's fine, whatever but like, I was watching it for like the kids becoming appreciated and people figuring out who they are and stuff and to tell people like, “Oh yeah, Sound of Music is like my favorite movie,” and people would be like, “Oh, yeah, Christopher Plummer!” And I'm like, “He's the dad… Like, what are you talking about?”

Christina

OK, so I'm going to bring my allo perspective here. As someone who finds people attractive, yeah, like Christopher Plummer is so great in this. Also, apparently, like he helped build out the character somewhat from the stage musical version. And a lot of what makes the character in the movie so great came from Christopher Plummer's input so I think like, I just want to give him, like more credit than just like, wow, what a great performance because he he brought so much to it. But I was thinking about it today and I think that one reason people are so drawn to this love story is the way that it's portrayed in the movie, and not not necessarily in the musical or other places, is he basically made Captain von Trapp like a dad version of Mr. Darcy.

Jane

Yeah, I can see that.

Christina

Maria shows up. Really Rich guy is all, like aloof and he's like, “you're all weird and stuff,” and they get into all of these big arguments at the beginning. And you know. She's playing kind of an Elizabeth Bennet, like “I am witty and I'm going to stand up for myself. As opposed to like everyone else in your life who's going to be a yes person, I'm going to speak my mind to you.” And then they, you know, realize “oh, like, I actually really like you.” I think that it is that, like it's not that opposites attract, but it is that being willing to admit that your first impression of this person was not correct and that you actually do have a lot in common, but also that like that is so attractive: the man who starts out aloof, and then his barriers melt and he has a face like Christopher Plummer.

Jane

And he manages to propose to you without insulting your family, so even better than Mr. Darcy.

Christina

Yeah, well, he's improved on the formula. He also like, doesn't, you know, do your sister great harm by separating her from her true love.

Jane

Yeah, that's true too. So even better is if if you want someone better than Mr. Darcy: Captain Georg von Trapp.

Christina

Yeah, but I like, apparently the the real Captain von Trapp, he was not, like, emotionally withholding from his kids at all. And I think that they, like played up that piece for the musical, but then also like the humor that he has and like a lot of his really funny lines are when he's talking to Max actually, like their whole friendship. It’s just like so cunning, but apparently a lot of that originated with Christopher Plummer.

Jane

That makes sense because he, like he does that so well, and I love his little, like he's got a little twinkle in his eye. And when he does his little like teasing thing. Especially the scene when the kids go to say goodbye to Maria and then they come back and they're telling him that they were bery picking and all of that and he's just like letting them dig themselves into a hole is so great. And he does that so well. And then he, like, goes back into the house. You see him do his little chuckle like, “Oh, my kids are so silly.” But oh, that he lets them say that it's blueberries and then he's like, “Oh, it's the wrong season for blueberries,” and so then Friedrich goes, “Well, they were strawberries. It's been so cold lately, they turned blue!” is like one of my favorite moments. And then he just looks, Frederick looks so disappointed in himself. It’s so great! Oh man, there's so many just fun moments like that that I think are part of why I keep rewatching it because it is, it is almost 3 hours long, so I think I would watch it more if it was shorter, but I also like, I don't feel like it drags. I feel like it's engaging the whole time.

Christina

Yeah. I agree with you that probably the slowest part is Something Good.

Jane

Yeah.

Christina

Like I kind of feel like they they have to have it in there. Like, you know, it's like to move from not married to married, they have to have something there. But it is such a slow song and when I was a kid I definitely fast forwarded through it because I was just like, adults having feelings for each other? Whatever. Like this isn’t interesting. And, you know, compared to that amazing dance scene in that same setting with 16 going on 17 and then you just like see them standing in shadow being like, “I think I love you!” You're just like, oh, man, this is ugh…all right, I'm going to get up and like, get a glass of water or something.

Jane

Well, and it just it almost like undermines the message of like, yes, they have the same values and they're belonging together. It's like, “oh, wow, I don't deserve you because I was horrible.” And it's weird to like, have that be the song that they sing there, and I don't know, in the stage version, I don't know if they had a different song there or if they just…

Christina

They do. I looked it up and it's called An Ordinary Couple. I haven't actually listened to it.

Jane

I'm kind of thinking that they might have cut that out of more like modern productions.

Christina

Yeah, I think maybe they just like replaced it with Something Good in more recent stagings.

Jane

Yeah, I I'm trying to think. I don't remember how it was when I saw it on stage.

Christina

But yeah, I feel like now that I know that Hammerstein wasn't involved with that song, I'm like, you could even take another pass. Like you could even try for a future staging of the musical, like try something else there. Something that actually like talks about like in this moment, why they are into each other. At least we have some perspective on Maria, like being criticized when she was a child and a young adult. And then, like, feeling like she, you know, kind of was like, struggling to find her place in the world but that is not at all like anything that we've ever heard about Captain von Trapp, and so the fact that that's what they're singing about, it's they were clearly just like, “We need a song about people being in love with each other.” And then Rodgers was like, “What about this?”

Jane

Yeah, let's just, throw this in. Yeah, but it just it seems weirdly out of character for both of them to be singing about like, “I'm so awful and I don't deserve you,” because they they're more like confident and more self-assured than that.

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

That I think that it's, it's weird. I guess they're being vulnerable with each other and that's what we're supposed to take out of that.

Christina

I think that what Captain von Trapp and Maria need is a song where he's saying, like, “I was trying to stop myself from feeling things, but like, I feel comfortable feeling things when I'm around you.” And then Maria being like, “I never felt like I fit in, but I feel like I fit in when I'm around you.”

Jane

Yeah, exactly. And that would that would make more sense, but…OK, we fixed it. We fixed Sound of Music, guys.

Christina

I mean, we we figured out how to fix it. I don’t know that…we didn't actually write the song.

Jane

That's true. Yeah, OK.

Christina

We're getting there. We're getting there.

Jane

Don't want to get too critical of the movie though. But yeah, that's, I think that the the Something Good part and the 16 going on 17 reprise are like the two parts that really bothered me.

Christina

Yeah, it is one of those musicals that I feel like some musicals fall victim to: Act One, it's like there's so many great song. And then in Act Two they get to a point where they're like, “oh, like, we have so much plot to do before we can get to the end, and so there's not going to be as many songs, or if there are songs, they're going to kind of just be, like, shoehorned in because we've really got to do all this plot right now.” And there's like, so much that happens. You know, they get married and then they have to, like, get to the point where they're in the festival and escaping and they're like, “alright, I guess like we better have Maria and Liesl sing a little song here in the middle just so we have a song.” But it's not like an inspired one. I also, honestly, could cut the goatherd song.

Jane

Oh, I love that song. I mean, it has nothing to do with anything and it could easily be cut. But I just love it so much.

Christina

I mean, I think it does serve a narrative purpose in that it's showing like the way that the von Trapp household has now been transformed and like you know, everyone's having a good time together again and it's all thanks to Maria. But the song is longer than it needs to be, because first they tell the story about the goat herder and then they're like we're going to tell the same story, but just about goats?

Jane

Yeah, I think it's really funny that like they have to turn them into goats before they make the thing about “soon the duet will become a trio” like it's OK that there's a baby goat. If we talk about baby humans, that's going too far. Like we can't imply sex in this show.

Christina

OK, maybe I I never understood that, but I still maintain there's too much of that song.

Jane

Oh, for sure. Yeah, I agree. But I also love it and I think it's really fun seeing the like the kids trying to do the puppet show and like all of that, I I think it's very fun. It is completely unnecessary and way too long. I'm trying to think like what my f- I don't know what my favorite song is, I love so many of the songs, but I do absolutely love the Do Re Mi scene. Even though that goes on way too long. Like it's a very, very long sequence.

Christina

No because they’re going all around Salzburg. No, I I wouldn't cut one second of that song.

Jane

It's so fun. It's so good.

Christina

Do Re Mi and they, they do like all the different versions and stuff. And oh man, I love it. I wish it was that easy to learn how to sing in harmony.

Jane

Yes! Yes, I also love that they're like, “We don't know any songs” and then they're just immediately singing every song.

Christina

Yeah and then when their dad shows back up and they're singing, The Hills are Alive, and then he comes in and starts singing it like I'm not bothered by the fact that he just knows the words because it's a musical. But what is amazing to me is that they're like, oh, like, not only did our governess teach us this song, but we just automatically know how to, like, go into choral, like vocal backing parts for our dad.

Jane

Well, it's it's unclear how much time has passed because clearly the do-re-mi sequence takes place over multiple days because they changed their clothes. I don't know where they got those clothes because she had to make them clothes out of curtains because they only had their like, really like fancy clothes.

Christina

So, OK, so here's my theory. So they have their like uniform clothes, and then she makes them the play clothes. And when they're like, sitting around on the grass and doing more physical stuff, they're wearing the play clothes. And like when they're on the lake, they're wearing the play clothes. But then when they're touring Salzburg and they're like walking through the gardens and in a carriage, that's when we see them in these other casual clothes, and I feel like maybe those were clothes that they did have that were like for some other purpose. Like you wouldn't want to get them dirty so they're not considered play clothes, but maybe they did have more than like 2 outfits to wear.

Jane

OK, OK. That's fair.

Christina

That's my headcanon. I have put a lot of thought into the costuming in this movie, so I do have headcanon about every outfit that people wear.

Jane

OK, that's fair. Because I was thinking like, well, maybe she like takes everybody else's curtains in the area and makes just makes a lot of clothes out of all the other curtains.

Christina

I mean, maybe. The other thing that I noticed when I was rewatching that sequence is they each have like three outfits and they wear them in different combinations at different times, so it is kind of like, like they have the play clothes and then it seems like they each kind of have two non play clothes, non uniform outfits. And there's like, different scenes where, like Maria is wearing her striped dress in one scene. And I don't know. I'm just saying that it seems like it's taking place over like maybe a couple weeks actually, and they just have these three outfits that they're differently cycling through. What I'm trying to say is the costuming department did a great job of telling me the story of like, over time them going out on all these different adventures and it not just happening over a couple of days while their dad was out of town.

Jane

Yeah, because because I don't think they ever officially established how long he's gone. I know that like before he leaves when Maria is talking to Frau Schmidt, she says the last time he went to visit the Baroness, he stayed for a month. So it's implied that it's going to be for a little while, but it doesn't, I mean, it doesn't really matter, but it's nice that they're able to show like, yes, he was gone for a long time without like making it take a long time for the audience.

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

By showing all the different combinations of outfits. But I must admit that, like a lot of the time, I wasn't even really paying attention to that because I don't tend to pay that much attention to costumes.

Christina

That's fine. Since we're on the topic of costumes, though, I do want to bring up my probably favorite costume moment in the entire movie, which is: when she first comes to the von Trapp household, she's wearing this grey dress which multiple people insult her about, and she and the captain have a great exchange where she says, “I don't have any other clothes. All of our clothes are given away to the poor,” and then he says, “What about that outfit?” And she says….

Jane

“The poor didn't want this one.” It's like my favorite line.

Christina

So what I love is that in the second act, when she goes in to talk to Mother Superior, right before she goes in, we see someone who is just entering the convent and she's wearing, like a snazzy green dress and then Mother superior is like, “Go off and we’ll get you wimple” or whatever she says. And then Maria comes in and they have their whole talk. And then when Maria shows back up at the von Trapp family house, she's wearing the snazzy green dress.

Jane

Yes!

Christina

And I love that they took the time to be like, we know that we set up that like they have terrible clothes at the convent, but there is a reason that she is, like dressed to the nine right now.

Jane

It is so great and like it took me so long to notice that. I think I always assumed that the reason they showed the new person coming in is like she was replacing Maria and to be like, yes, Maria needs to leave kind of thing of like, there's no reason for her to be here. We have another postulate lined up.

Christina

We have so many nuns. Don't worry about it!

Jane

It was a relatively recent viewing for me where I was like, “Ohhhh, she's wearing THAT DRESS! OK.” And that's great. I agree. That's amazing. And they don't really like, they don't hit you over the head with it. It's just very subtle, but it's there and it's great.

Christina

Yeah, yeah. So there might be other plot holes in this movie, but that is not one of them. They're like, “Don't worry. We tied this one up in a nice little bow like they added in like a whole little scene.

Jane

Just for that dress.

Christina

I mean, it's like one line, but still. OK, so one of the things that I wanted to ask because I feel like in most of your episodes so far, you've like pointed out like the possible ace identifying characters in the movie and obviously we have a bunch of nuns. So like, there's a lot of people who are celibate but like Max is

Jane

Yeah!

Christina

definitely the one who’s just like, “I’m not interested in like…” And he has friends. You know, it's not that he is like, “I don't need people,” but he's just like, “I'm not out here looking for love. I'm looking for a singing group I can take advantage of.”

Jane

Yeah, I feel like Max is definitely like very queer-coded, and he has, like certain… just the way he reads his lines and certain mannerisms, I feel like could be interpreted as stereotypically gay or something.

Christina

Interesting, I hadn't even thought of that. But now that you're saying it? Yes, I get that.

Jane

Yeah, I feel like that's, I don't know if other people see it that way. And I didn't always see it that way, but in more recent viewings. He doesn't have a partner that we know of and that could just be because that wasn't socially acceptable. But also like being aroace is also queer. So it's not necessarily that he has to be gay.

Christina

Yeah.

Jane

But yeah, and we don't see him showing any sort of like… because I think there is sort of a tendency to be like, OK, well if the Baroness doesn't end up with the captain, maybe like with Max?

Christina

No way.

Jane

But I I love their dynamic as like friends and sort of like, co-conspirators a little bit because I think that Max does want the Baroness and the captain to end up together, at least at first. I don't know how he feels about Maria to be honest, we don't really see them interact very much. But yeah, I definitely feel like he is…he's another example of like there's no one right path, right? That like he knows exactly what he wants out of life. He's not looking for a romantic partner. He's looking for a singing group that he can manage and make money off of.

Christina

Yeah. Well, I will say like, I think that he kind of does ship the Baroness with Captain von Trapp, but then I think he's also just like, yeah, like you guys are adults and like if that doesn't work out like I'm going to be just as welcoming to Maria and I'm going to be happy for Georg for like, finding the person that he actually wanted to be with plus she’s encouraging him to sing.

Jane

Well, and he he uses their their honeymoon as like, “Oh, while you guys are away, I'm going to just like, casually enter your children into a singing contest without talking to you about it, because uh, that's that's cool, right?”

Christina

Yeah, I can't believe they left them alone with Max. I mean, I guess the housekeeper was there.

Jane

Was Max supposed to be like their guardian during that time? It's not really super clear.

Christina

I mean, I guess he, you know, I don't know if he was supposed to be their guardian. I think he was just, like, staying at the house and was just like, “Oh, like, you know, I'm here. You're here. What if we enter this singing festival?”

Jane

Yeah, we don't, we don't actually see how that comes about. We cut from the wedding to them rehearsing, basically. But yeah, I I love that. I think that's so funny being like, “Yeah, just take as long of a honeymoon as you want. I'm just gonna make your children sing. It's all good.”

Christina

Yeah. All right. Well, we've gotten through all of my notes.

Jane

OK. Well, any any other last thoughts?

Christina

Oh man, just that I think I just want to say I think that the musical, the stage musical, has a reputation as being like, way too sweet. And like hokey or something. But if you have never seen the movie, or if you haven't seen it in a long time, I highly recommend revisiting it because the cinematography is beautiful, the acting is amazing, and the dialogue is very witty. And there are just some really funny scenes with Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer and, and they like, they really made a movie that I think has great themes that are told really well, so it's good. Watch that.

Jane

Yeah, I hear it being criticized for being too saccharine and I'm just like, but it's not really though, like there's a lot of really serious moments in this and and

Christina

Yeah, yeah.

Jane

And I feel like the the good ones feel earned like they are not just like oh, but everything's fine now. It's like, but we had to work to make things better again. And I do love that. I also want to mention: Best Picture winner. So I did. Watch it. When I was watching through all the Best Picture winners.

Christina

OK. Yeah.

Jane

What I noticed when I was watching through all the Best Picture winners is that most of them are very long war movies. And this is this kind of fits with that because it is very long and there is a war involved, but it's a little bit more fun to watch than some of the just like 3 hour people fighting.

Christina

One of the most fun World War Two movies there is.

Jane

It truly is. Yeah, I would agree with that.

Christina

Because there's hardly any war in it. It's just sort of like right before the war, so…

Jane

Yeah, the war is implied.

Christina

Yeah, I would say the best part of any war is before it happens.

Jane

Yeah, probably.

Christina

Yeah. What a great note to end this podcast on.

[laughter]

Jane

Anyway, thank you so much for being my guest. My first ever guest.

Christina

Thank you for inviting me. And I just want to say that being your friend is one of my favorite things.

Jane

Oh, I feel the same way!

Oh, that was so much fun! Christina is always so insightful. I hope you enjoyed hearing from her as much as I enjoyed talking to her. I have a few more guests planned for future episodes, but next week will be back to just me as I move on to the shorter of two movies that I watched 16 times, which will also be the first black and white movie I'll be talking about on here, though certainly not the last. As always, I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “When I find myself in a position like this, I ask myself what would General Motors do? And then I do the opposite.”

[drewzelle]

“nine mutuals you want to know better” tag game!

Tagged by @sarenhale ! I didn't have access to my computer the past couple days so I'm a bit late, but this was a lot of fun!! Thank you for the tag <3

Last Song: lately I've been relaxing to the Hollow Knight OST (City of Tears best track) but in terms of lyrical music, I recently rewatched the music video for "Little Dark Age" by MGMT because its vibes are fucking impeccable and mesmerizing (I can watch it on repeat for hours)

Favorite Color: purple is my go-to answer (especially blue-ish purples), but I also really love dark greens and desaturated earthy colors so much

Last Movie/TV Show: I feel like I haven't been watching movies lately (I'm more of a show person because I like longer form narratives) but I think the last one I watched was "Better Off Dead" while I was visiting my family for the holidays. It was a weird/surreal but good time! As for shows, I finally got around to watching Scavenger’s Reign!! Every aspect was just amazing, especially the worldbuilding and visuals. 2D animation is probably my favorite medium, so I'm really glad we're seeing more animation for adults that wants to tell a story instead of being a delivery device for lame sex jokes and cringe humor. OH ALSO DUNGEON MESHI!!! For a lot of the same reasons! Excited to watch the new episode tonight :>

Sweet / Spicy / Savory: I have a HUGE sweet tooth, so if I had to pick one, that would be it. Savory foods are great and I love them, I just have a leftover "now's your chance!" impulse from not being allowed much sugar as a kid that I can't seem to get rid of. I'm also weak to the "I deserve a lil treat" trap if I've got a bunch of sweet snacks around, so I have to be careful. As for spicy….I am SO completely unable to handle spicy food it’s almost funny, but really it’s just tragic because I LOVE cuisines known for being spicy, like mexican and thai. If I eat out, I always have to be like “can you please make it mild?” and even then, if it's not seasoned for the babiest of babies, my mouth will burn and my weak, white-person tummy will hurt.

Relationship Status: I keep forgetting I’m getting married in less than six months. My partner and I got engaged like two years ago and have lived together for almost five, so my brain just defaults to "there’s probably a guy nearby" and doesn’t think much deeper on it than that.

Last thing I googled: "morels" because I was discussing mushrooms with my friend and those are some cool lookin' guys! Shaggy ink caps too!

Current Obsession: …….One Piece 😅 I was a big fan as a teen but only got as far as the Skypiea arc before I fell off reading/watching it. The hype over the new live action version reminded me the series existed, so I’ve been not so slowly making my way through again, picking up where I left off. I love how absolutely bonkers, there-are-no-rules, anime-ass-anime it is, but also how genuine and heartfelt it can be. I also enjoy how character-driven so much of the plot is which works because of how interesting the characters are (Chopper, Robin, and Franky are my favs). I just got to the timeskip, so I’m maybe…halfway through? between this and BG3, RIP my free time lol

Last Book: I've been reading through Seiji Yoshida's "Houses with a Story" (slowly, because I want to really take it in and savor it) and it's been a delight. Very relaxing and inspiring :> (up next, I finally got copies of the Locked Tomb series, so soon I will be enjoying The Space Lesbians)

Looking forward to: Being able to organize and enjoy my "new" office space after some hectic days! My partner and I realized we barely spend any time in our bedroom except for sleeping, so we swapped my office into the bigger room in our apartment! There were some complications with getting the internet working on my PC, but we finally got it all smoothed out. Now I finally have all my books and sewing/crafting/creative stuff in one place without it feeling cramped or hiding things away in storage :>

Thank you again for the tag! I'm tagging @justagoos, @icicleteeth, @lunarliart, @saltsparkle, @fael-draws, @juliedillon, @ninamodaffari, @crabdominalpain, and the final slot for anyone else who wants to join in - but please don't feel obligated, this is just for fun! :>

[theelectronicstranger]

Past Lives is Still My Favorite Movie of 2023

          So, I recently rewatched Past Lives again and I want to talk about how much I love it as a doomed romance film because it gives us these small moments of heartbreaking romance between the two main characters that in a typical romantic film would 100% mean that they’re going to get together at the end. The film even teases us with that outcome throughout most of it and specifically at the beginning of the film where we’re hearing two random people talk about Nora, Hae Song, and Arthur’s relationships. I want to talk about how they built up that doomed romance and why I was really happy with how it ended. I also want to talk about this film as an immigrant. I feel like there are a lot of scenes in this film that really resonated with me as an immigrant that I want to talk about. While I try to talk about these ideas, I’m also just going to gush about the stuff I really loved about this film, so if you’re reading this then be prepared for that because I might switch over to another topic as I’m talking about another point because of this. I’m going to cut this discussion up to three eras: their childhood, which was 24 years ago; their first reconnection, which was 12 years ago; and their present time.

24 Years Ago (Their Childhood):

          The first scene of them we see during this time is Nora (still known as Na Young) quietly crying as her and Hae Song walk home. Hae Song is trying his best to comfort Nora because he just got the top grades in their class, beating Nora for the first time. Even at a young age, these two cared about each other. We could also tell that they liked each other even at that age. In fact, when Nora’s mother asks Nora who she likes at school, Nora immediately replies that she likes Hae Song. She even goes on to say that she believed that she would probably marry Hae Song. After hearing this, Nora’s mother, knowing that their family will leave Korea soon, sets up a date between Nora and Hae Song. This would be one of the last times they ever got to truly spend time with one another and the scenes where they were playing around in the park as their mothers watched them was really charming and sweet. I felt this childhood connection within them that was pure and innocent; like they didn’t care about the world and the only thing that mattered at that moment was the time they spent with each other. As much as I love this scene, I think it’s also bittersweet because we know that Nora and her family are leaving soon, so Hae Song and Nora’s bond is going to be severed as it is growing.

          During this play date scene, there was a moment between the mothers of Nora and Hae Song that I really liked. That scene is when Hae Song’s Mother asks Nora’s Mother why they’re immigrating. The reason she asks this is because they were leaving a lot behind. Nora’s mother was a successful artist and Nora’s Father is a successful film director, so they were losing a lot by moving. Nora’s Mother replies to this question with:

“If you leave something behind you gain something, too.”

and that’s it. That’s all she says. I found that very profound because I feel like a lot of immigrants leave something behind to hopefully gain something better wherever they’re going. When I first immigrated here, I didn’t truly understand that. I just felt like I lost all my friends and family by moving to America. Now that I’m older, I understand why my mother immigrated all of us here. It’s so that we can hopefully have a better life and more opportunities than we did before.

At the end of this Play Date Day, we see Nora and Hae Song holding each other’s hands on the car ride home. Nora sleeping on Hae Song’s shoulder, while Hae Song is awake staring at the horizon. They look peaceful together, but once we see Hae Song awake, I felt like he knows it’ll be their last great day together because Nora is leaving. There’s a sort of sadness in his eyes as he looks towards the horizon. The next scene we see after this is Nora talking about how she’s moving to America with her family in class; we see Hae Song is visibly upset because she doesn’t want Nora (Na Young) to go. They walk home in silence together and when they finally have to part ways Hae Song stops Nora and manages to say “Bye”. I really love this scene of their last interaction because we can see Hae Song trying hard not to be upset with Nora leaving but he’s failing. He’s trying not to show how much he’s going to miss her, but the only thing it truly does is make it seem like he didn’t care about her. The more he tried to hide his emotions, the less time he got to spend with her (I think this comes back to bite him later, but I’ll talk about that when we get to it).  

There’s nothing Hae Song can really do to stop Nora (Na Young) from leaving; he just kind of had to let go even if he didn’t want to. I liked these scenes of them when they were younger. It shows the bond that they already had and how strong those bonds were. I think it’s the biggest reason why we want these two to meet up again because we feel like there is unfinished business here and we, as the audience, want to see it unfold.

          Theres a scene that I really love in their childhood scenes, it’s when Nora’s family is already in the US, and we see Nora (Na Young) just standing with her back against the wall watching the other kids play. It’s a very big contrast to what her life was like in Korea. In Korea, she had all these friends that she played with, and she even had this boy she liked that always walked home with her. In the US, she was just alone, and she was afraid to interact with anybody. I think this scene perfectly encapsulates how lonely it could be for immigrants after they first immigrate to another country; specifically, for children. When I first immigrated here to the US, I remember being the same way, I just didn’t talk to anybody. I was afraid to interact with anybody because I had this fear that I was going to say something wrong, and the other kids would make fun of me. I felt like I couldn’t speak in English that well and whenever I did there was someone that pointed out my accent. I was really self-conscious at the time. I remember eating lunch alone because I didn’t have any friends. The few months before I attended school here, I was surrounded by all these friends that I hung out with a lot and celebrated with me when they found out I was leaving to go to the US.  I never felt so alone until I got here.

12 Years Ago (When They First Tried to Reconnect):

          I really loved how the main reason Hae Song wanted to reconnect with Nora is because she was the only person he could think about while he was in military service. I also love how Hae Song’s military service scenes immediately follows their childhood scenes together; it shows that that even though it’s been 12 years, Hae Song still looks fondly on their time when they were younger and still feels some sort of connection to Nora.

I thought that the scene where Nora and Hae Song were first talking through Skype was really magical. It’s these two long lost childhood sweethearts that haven’t seen each other in 12 years and suddenly technology caught up to where they could see each other face to face for the first time even though it was just through a screen. The way they acted when they first saw each other through that Skype screen was so fun to watch. I loved how both Nora and Hae Song both lit up after seeing one another; you can see it in their smiles that they were just so happy to be talking to one another. Sure, there was an awkward start when they first called but as the call progressed you can see them start to get back into the groove of things again; they actually talked for so long that Nora missed out on eating dinner, and it went from afternoon to midnight on her side of the world. After the first call, we see both of them start to get really happy and look forward to these Skype Calls. I love that because it’s two people that are trying to make and hold on to a connection even with there is this massive distance between them. I think these Skype moments with them really sold me on the idea that I want to see both of them together.

Unfortunately, that’s not how it really goes. At first their interactions were going really well but because of their time difference, it was getting harder and harder to talk to one another. Korea (Seoul where Hae Song is) and the US (New York where Nora is) has a 13-hour time difference, basically half a day, so when one of them was sleeping, the other one was awake and ready to talk. After some point, they both just started to drift apart because their lives couldn’t handle a relationship that could only happen at a certain time window. This part of the movie really resonated with me as well because I really tried my hardest to stay in touch with my friends back in the Philippines. When I first moved here my parents told me to forget my friends back home and focus on my life here in the US; I thought to myself, “I’ll never do that. These are my friends and I’ll never let them go.”. A few years passed and I lost all contact with them. It started with me not being able to talk to them as much because the only time I could talk would be late at night/early in the morning here. Then when we were able to talk, I started to feel like I was left out. I felt like I wasn’t part of that group anymore, so slowly we started talking less and less.

          In the film. I felt that the more Hae Song and Nora were trying to make efforts to make each other be a part of the other’s life, the more it became harder to be with them. What I mean by that is that both of them really wanted the other person to be there physically. We see that a lot with Nora. In the scene where Hae Song is in a cable car in Seoul, Nora is seeing this beautiful scenery of Seoul and says,

“wish I were there”

She’s starting to feel this massive distance between them weigh over her more and more. Hae Song feels this as well, but Hae Song guards his emotions really well to the point that it comes back to bite him. The scenes before this one are both of them calling each other’s names out on their screens without an answer. They’re literally calling out each other’s names to the void and we see more and more how this distance and time difference is slowly pulling them away from one another.

          After this, Nora calls Hae Song one last time. She asks Hae Song when it would be possible for him to visit her in New York and Hae Song tells her that he won’t be able to visit until a year and a half from that time. After this, we see for a small moment, Nora weighing in that time and how much of this relationship between them she could take. After thinking for that small moment, she decides that they should probably stop talking for a while. To explain herself, Nora says:

“I immigrated twice to be here in New York. I want to accomplish something here. I want to commit to my life here, but I’m sitting around looking up flights to Seoul instead.”

Hae Song is obviously hurt when hearing this; he doesn’t want to stop talking, but he also can’t do anything about it, so he pushes her away. In this small moment, he decides to bottle up his emotions and just tell her that it’s a good idea. He even goes on to say,

“What are you sorry about? Were we dating or something?”

I think this statement just pushes her away from him more. It was his defense mechanism that made it even easier for them to separate from each other entirely. Just like the little boy that he was 12 years ago, he hides his feelings and abruptly ends the call with Nora with a reluctant and forced “Bye”. Just like the one he told her 12 years ago. This is the last time they talk until the present time.

I think if Hae Song told Nora how he really felt, then they would have kept more in touch with each other, but I also understood why he said that. He said that because he was hurt and felt that Nora wanted to push her away. I also think he understood a bit where she came from because their relationship was struggling with the time difference and the distance. We saw scenes of them calling to one another and saw them feel lonelier when nobody answered on the other side. There’s also this small scene after this last call that really got me. It’s when Hae Song is on the train and he’s typing up this long message to send to Nora, but he sees this couple being close to one another and enjoying each other’s physical company. He wants THAT. He also knows that he can’t really have that with Nora because they are practically worlds apart. After seeing that, he decides to delete the message. I think that the same want that Nora had, had been in Hae Song. They both just wanted each other to be there in person, but their lives are getting in the way.

I think with any long-distance relationship there has to be a certainty that both people will meet at some point and will be together at some point. For Nora and Hae Song those certainties were never there. They were unsure of what they were, and they were unsure of when they would see each other. They were even unsure about when they’ll be able to talk to one another. They really wanted to be with one another but those uncertainties and their plans for their life just didn’t let that happen.

After they completely stop talking to one another, we see them meet their present partners. Nora meets Arthur on her writer’s retreat and falls in love with him, and Hae Song meets his girlfriend in China. Just like that another 12 years pass.

The Present Time (Their One Week in New York):

          In this present time, we see that Nora is now married to Artur. They have a great life together. We see them in bed just hanging out and enjoying each other’s company. Hae Song is not at all in the mind of Nora. Until one day, Nora gets a message from Hae Song that he’s going to be in New York for a week and asks if he could meet with her. Hae Song denies to his friends that he’s there to see Nora, but that’s the only thing he’s there to do.

I really love the moment when they first meet again. I thought it was really sweet. She hugs him and he’s kind of surprised by the physical touch, but at the same time I could tell that he loves this hug. It’s a hug that he’s been longing for since they tried to reconnect all those years ago. They kind of don’t know what to do with one another; they both can’t believe that after all these years, they’re in the exact same place physically. They start walking down the road and talking to one another. Nora asks Hae Song about his girlfriend and says they’re not really together right now. He also reveals that they started talking about marriage and implies that it’s the reason why they’re on break right now. My reading of this was that Hae Song went to New York to confirm his feelings for Nora and see if the decision he’s about to make, which is marrying his long-time girlfriend, is going to be the right choice. I think he can’t fully move on with his life until he finds out if there is still something between him and Nora. I also think that Nora tried to do this with Hae Song because she said that before she got married to Arthur, they went to Korea. She emailed Hae Song because she wanted to see him, but he never responded. If Hae Song only responded then Nora would have probably done the same thing he’s doing now, which is trying to figure out if these unfinished feelings have any merit.

I really loved their conversation near the Carousel, where Nora asks Hae Song why he looked for her 12 years ago. Hae song finally shows some of his true feelings:

“I just wanted to see you one more time. I don’t know. Because you just left so suddenly… I was just a little pissed off.” “You kept entering my mind while I was in the military.”

I say that he shows SOME of his true feelings because even with this response he doesn’t fully tell the truth. There are certain things he was omitting like his romantic feelings for her. We know that he does have some feelings for Nora because why else would he be there? She’s the only one he’s truly visiting there in New York. Also, Nora could tell there were certain things he was omitting. When he says his reason for looking for her, you can see Nora’s face start to worry; she doesn’t really know what to make of why he’s here. She had suspicions as to why Hae Song was here, and this conversation confirms that he’s just there for her. When she gets home, she tells Arthur that her suspicions were true.

          I want to talk about Arthur for a second. I think Arthur is great. I think he’s the reason why Nora and Hae Song’s doomed romance is solidified and why I also don’t mind that Nora and Hae Song don’t get together at the end of this film. If Arthur wasn’t this compassionate, loving, and wonderful husband to Nora; then yes, Nora and Hae Song should be together at the end of the film. However, Arthur is a wonderful husband to Nora. He loves her; he cares for her; and he’s making sure that this meeting between Hae Song and Nora happens. He knows how important this meeting between them is. Yes, he does have some insecurities. When Nora talks about Hae Song and how Korean he is, Arthur’s first question is: “Is he attractive?” and when she answers that he is attractive in this Korean way we see him kind of be bothered by this then he asks, “Are YOU attracted to him?”. She replies, “I don’t think so.” and you can see on his face that he’s bothered by this. What I really like about this scene is that sure he’s insecure about what’s going on between Nora and Hae Song, but he trusts Nora enough to know that she wouldn’t do anything stupid. He also doesn’t get angry and is just very understanding even though this situation is really odd. I also think that Nora does a really good job in assuring him that nothing will happen between her and Hae Song. They just work so well together. It’s obvious that Hae Song being there just puts a strain in their relationship a little bit.

          Also, in Arthur and Nora’s conversation in their bed, Arthur talks about how Nora still dreams in Korean. He talks about how he’s kind of scared of it because he feels like there are parts of her that he can’t visit or be part of,

“I guess I get scared… You dream in a language that I can’t understand. It’s like there’s this whole place inside of you where I can’t go.”

I see this as both as an insecurity within Arthur but also a reason why I really liked him with Nora. I like him with Nora because he’s someone that genuinely wants to understand her in every facet of her life. He’s not somebody that just got the girl and now is resting on his laurels for the whole relationship. He’s someone that will always keep trying to know her and be truly part of her life. That’s exactly what I like about Arthur. If Nora and Hae Song’s relationship is these idealized romantic situations between two childhood sweethearts through time, Nora and Arthur’s relationship is based on real and mature romantic effort. I say effort because in real life it takes a lot of effort to keep and be in a relationship. It’s the effort that shows that both people still care for one another. That’s what I like about Nora and Arthur’s relationship.

          After the bedroom scene, we see Nora meet Hae Song at the ferry. They’re going to take a ferry ride to the Statue of Liberty. I really like these scenes because I think it shows a lot about how they see each other, what they could be, and what they are. For example, while they’re in line to ride the ferry, Hae Song asks Nora what prize she wants to win now. When they were kids, Nora said she was leaving to the US to be able to win a Noble Prize and 12 years ago she said that she wanted a to win Pulitzer. Nora responds that she hasn’t really thought about that kind of stuff recently but after Hae Song pushes the question a bit more, she says that she wants to win a Tony award. Hae Song laughs and says,

“You really are exactly the same as I remember you.”

I think this response can be taken in two ways. First, that Hae Song only really sees Nora as who she was before and not really as she is now; he does force her to answer this question. Although he is slowly seeing the person that Nora is now, he’s still acting and presuming that she’s still that same person that she was a decade ago. Second, I think you can also see this as Nora being able to be that same person again with Hae Song. Like being with him is letting her act as her older self again. That older self that can dream or want an award like that. I think both ways can be true at the same time and doesn’t really show any bad in them. The only thing it shows is that their perceptions of one another needs to change or is going to change as they get to know each other again some more.

          One little moment on the ferry, I’d like to talk about. Theres a small scene where they’re taking a picture together and Nora asks,

“Why are you taking it so close up?” “Fine. Go back a little bit.” Hae Song replies,

and you can see her laughing and enjoying herself with him. She then realizes that she’s having too much fun with him, so her joyous smile suddenly turns into a more serious one. I love moments like that with them because there’s always these spaces and boundaries between them, but just for a small moment their spaces close in on one another and those boundaries fade away. Small moments like this is what made me want them to be together at the end of this film. However, on my second viewing, it became more apparent that you can’t just throw your life away with just these small moments. Nora has a beautiful relationship with Arthur, and she can’t just throw it away in small moments like these.

          I want to talk a little about the scene when Hae Song and Arthur meet and the bar scene. I really like how awkward it was when Hae Song and Arthur met. When Nora and Hae Song get into the apartment, we see Arthur kind of hobble towards them. As if he’s this nervous wreck but he’s trying not to show it. He does manage to finally smile and greet him in Korean. I think this interaction where Hae Song is trying to speak in English and Arthur is trying to speak Korean is really charming. I think this interaction slowly helps Hae Song see why Nora married him. He’s seeing this man that learned Korean for Nora; this man that is trying not to freak out about this situation; and this man that really loves Nora. You can see that even more in the bar when he and Arthur start talking. They’re getting more comfortable with each other. Even though there’s a language barrier, Arthur is still trying to understand him, which I think is Arthur’s biggest strength and charm. He tries to understand someone truly and not just in a superficial way. Hae Song even tells Nora,

“I can tell he (Arthur) really loves you. I didn’t know that liking your husband would hurt this much.”

Hae Song, through this small meeting with Arthur, can see that Arthur really loves Nora. I think a small part of him hoped that Arthur would be this awful husband to Nora, so that he could still possibly have a chance with her, but the more he saw and talked to Arthur, the more he saw what a kind and loving person he truly was. I think that if Hae Song didn’t meet Arthur, then Hae Song would still think he has a chance with Nora. But through seeing Arthur, Hae Song can finally resolve this unfinished love story he has for Nora.

          Also in this bar scene, we seem them tell their truths. We see Nora tell Hae Song that the little girl he once knew is long gone, that the person she is now is not that exact same girl he fell for back then; and we see Hae Song tell her how he really felt about her,

“The Na Young you remember doesn’t exist here… But that little girl did exist. She’s not sitting here in front of you… but it doesn’t mean she’s not real. Twenty years ago, I left her behind with you…” “I know and even though I was only 12, I loved her.” Hae Song replies,

I think that this moment right here was really heartbreaking because it shows that Hae Song really had this deep connection with the Nora he once knew. It also adds more meaning to his interactions with Nora throughout their week in New York. One that comes to mind is when he asks her about what prize she wants to win now at the ferry. I said that the way he asks this question and his reply to Nora’s answer suggests that he only sees Nora as she was before. However, this interaction puts that moment in another context. It goes from Hae Song only sees Nora as she once was to Hae Song trying so hard to find some of the Na Young he once knew in Nora. I also think that this scene is very pivotal for Hae Song’s character because throughout the whole film, he’s been hiding how he felt for Nora. This is the only time we truly got confirmation of his feelings and it’s when he already knew that he had no chance and no way of getting to her. We even get more of this when they start talking about In-Yun. Nora starts this conversation with,

“I think there was something in our past lives. Otherwise, why would be here together now? But in this life… we don’t have the In-Yun to be that kind of person to each other. Basically now, finally we’re in the same city for the first time in twenty years---" “we’re sitting here with your husband.” Hae Song finishes. “In this life, You and Arthur are that kind of In-Yun to each other. You two have eight thousand layers of In-Yun. To Arthur, you’re someone who stays." Hae Song admits.

Hae Song accepts that in this life, he and Nora are not meant to be with one another. For Hae Song, Nora will always be a person who leaves.

          I want to talk about the concept of In-Yun. In my understanding, In-Yun is fate that is based on your past interactions with a person in your past lives. The more In-Yun you have with somebody the more it is likely that you’ll meet with that person or be together with that person. The example they give in the film is when two strangers walk by each other and their clothes accidentally brush. They say that’s In-Yun, and that there must have been something between those two people in their past lives and that’s why they interacted at that moment. I find this concept to be really romantic because it gives meaning to every interaction you have with people even if it’s just a small interaction. Like the people you went to school with that you haven’t seen since school ended had In-Yun with you but not enough for them to still be in your life. I think it’s a beautiful concept that romanticizes a lot of your interaction with people and the world. I feel like it’s easier to be jaded and be disillusioned with the world around us; but through this concept of In-Yun, there’s a way to slowly find meaning and purpose to this world. For Nora and Hae Song, they have a lot of In-Yun in this lifetime but not as many as Nora and Arthur have. At least not enough to be together.

          After being at the bar for a while, they all went home. Hae Song is leaving for Korea, so Nora offers to walk him to his Uber. We get to see this long shot of them walking out of the apartment towards where Hae Song’s Uber is supposed to be and it’s similar to the shot of them walking home when they were younger. They’re both quiet and just looking ahead to where they’re supposed to be going. I really love the parallels of this scene and their last walk home together when they were children. It’s like they’re being given a chance to finally say goodbye to one another one last time. They look at each other and wait until Hae Song’s Uber finally comes. They embrace each other and Hae Song heads to his Uber then stops. Hae Song asks,

“Hey! Na Young. What if this is a past life as well, and we are already something else to each other in our next life? Who do you think we are then?” “I don’t know.” Nora replies, “Me Neither.  See you then.”

With that, Hae Song says goodbye to Nora and heads back home to Korea. I really love this scene. I think it’s because they finally got to say goodbye to one another. Nobody is trying to hide their feelings anymore; everything is out there in the open. Specifically with Hae Song, who hid a lot of his feelings for Nora throughout his life and hid his feelings whenever they would abruptly part with one another. He finally got to say a proper goodbye to her. A goodbye that was on his own terms and with his proper feelings. After Hae Song leaves, Nora walks back home to her apartment, and she’s met by Arthur. She starts crying, and Arthur gives her a warm loving embrace and a shoulder to cry on.

So, a lot of people have asked why she was crying in the end and my reading of it is that she’s crying because she’s saying goodbye to her younger self and because she finally had a proper goodbye with Hae Song. She’s crying because she’s grieving for her younger self, the child that she once was. Hae Song being there reminded her of who she once was and what kind of a person that little girl was. Now, she has to say goodbye to that little girl once more. At the same time, she’s crying because this goodbye with Hae Song has been a long time coming. It’s 24 years in the making and it’s a definite end to their story. After this, there’s no more loose ends with her and Hae Song, just a definite end.

          I think this ending is what really sold me on this film because it didn’t feel like it needed to give us this typical happy ending with Nora and Hae Song. It acknowledges that their time has passed, and they both are leading different lives now. If there ever was a time where they could get together, they missed it and that’s okay because the people they had fallen for decades ago are gone. Only their memories survived. In a typical romantic movie, they would have set it up where Arthur was this bad husband and Hae Song going to New York to see Nora would be this grand gesture of love but in reality, none of that was the case. The reality of their situation was that Arthur was a very loving husband to Nora and Hae Song could see that. Hae Song going there wasn’t a grand gesture of love but more of an oddity and a hurdle to Nora and Arthur’s marriage. What I really love about this ending is that we start to understand that the movie wasn’t setting up a love story for Nora and Hae Song, it was setting up a proper farewell for them. A farewell where they can be honest with one another and a proper farewell to who they once were.

          Thank you for reading this if you did. It’s more than 5,800 words so I really appreciate it if you read this far. I didn’t mean for this to be so long, I just felt like talking about it a lot. If you’re here, then I’d love to know what you think of this or if you disagree with certain takes of mine. Have a good day and thanks for reading again.

[kmsml]

[Cover] My Third Chapter, Actor Park Seoham

Recently, together with fellow actors Shin Eunsoo and Yang Byungyeol, who are from the same agency, went on a trip to Australia. The reason behind your trip together was.

= Among the contents on the agency's YouTube channel, there is a program called <Nemo Travel>. It was part of that, and it was a time where actors and staff could share many stories and get closer. It was my first time in Australia, and I was surprised by how vast it was compared to what I had expected. The emerald sea stretched endlessly, it was truly a beautiful place.

You often post landscape photos, it seems you enjoy seeing natural scenery.

= I do. (Laughs) I like just seeing landscapes without any subjects framed in the shot.

I saw on social media that you watched "Home Alone" on the plane to Australia. Do you have a special affection for this movie?

= Watching "Home Alone" brings warmth to my heart because of its unique Christmas atmosphere. I'm trying to watch more dramas and movies than before. Recently, I rewatched "My Sassy Girl," and senior actor Ryu Seungsoo appeared with such a youthful look. Being able to consistently record the changes is truly a blessing of being an actor.

Singer's Dream, Actor's Dream

After interviewing with in 2022, two years have passed. What changes have you noticed?

= Many things have changed. First of all, I now have an agency, so I feel a sense of stability in various ways, and I'm grateful for the current situation. Of course, going to the set without a company while filming "Semantic Error" was a big life lesson for me. When will I ever again have to prepare costumes and organize the daily shooting schedule all by myself? And two years ago, during the interview, I was worried about turning thirty. It felt like my world was going to collapse, but now I don't have such worries anymore. Instead of being hung up on age, I've grown a desire to do better in the future.

After receiving a lot of attention for "Semantic Error," you immediately experienced a hiatus. Were you disappointed or anxious?

= I'm human too, so if I said I wasn't disappointed or anxious, it would be a lie. When "Semantic Error" was released, it was the first time I experienced such great interest and love during my career. It was disappointing and saddening to have a hiatus before fully realizing it. However, I suddenly thought that perhaps it was a chance given from above to take more time for reassessment. There were still many areas where I lacked, so even if I had been lucky enough to immediately enter another project at that time, I don't think I would have done well. Instead, I'm grateful for having the time to reflect on myself while catching my breath. Just having regrets won't accomplish anything. I'll continue to do what I can with gratitude for the love I receive.

This year marks 8th year since debut. Despite spending a long time on stage and meeting many people, you were actually a quiet student during your school days.

= Back then, I was even more timid, so I really went to school quietly. My mother used to say, "You didn't go through adolescence," because I was so quiet. I jokingly said to fans during a live broadcast on social media, "I would feel so unjust if people said I was a delinquent because I was such a good student." But then, when fans posted my graduation photo, they said, "No one thinks like that." (Laughs) I was a student who didn't even know how to dress up to that extent.

How did a quiet student who wasn't interested in being stylish end up dreaming of becoming a singer?

= Among my close friends, there was someone who wanted to become a singer. I accompanied them to a public audition, and there I received an audition offer myself and began my journey as an idol trainee. Living with trainee friends and practicing dance and singing became enjoyable, just like going on a school trip. As I received monthly evaluations, I developed a desire to improve gradually. It was during my senior year of high school, when I started my trainee life, that I first began to have a dream. Before that, I didn't have any aspirations for the future. I couldn't give up on a dream that arose after nearly 20 years, so even though my debut was postponed, I persevered and eventually stood on stage.

You have been balancing acting alongside your idol career since your idol days. Did you start thinking about acting around the same time you wanted to act?

= At first, I didn't have that thought. Being recognized as an idol was my priority. Whenever I was a trainee, I always heard, "You're more like a model than an idol." I thought to myself, "Where does that even come from?" Out of frustration, I didn't even consider other paths. So when the opportunity came to audition for the drama <20th Century Boy and Girl>, I approached it comfortably without feeling burdened, and the production team seemed to appreciate that aspect of me.

The drama <20th Century Boy and Girl> is your debut work as an actor. It must have been a completely different feeling to stand alone in front of the camera as an actor, having previously only been involved in group activities.

= I had to handle everything on my own and take full responsibility for it. I was afraid because I had nowhere to rely on. That's when I realized that acting was a difficult task.

In "20th Century Boy and Girl," you made a brief appearance as the child Anthony (played by Lee Sangwoo), whereas in the web drama "Just One Bite" Season 2, you took on the main role of Joo Wookyung and delved into acting more earnestly.

= It was the first time I had spoken so many lines. The actor who played Joo Wookyung in Season 1 had to leave due to personal reasons, and I stepped into that role. Considering that viewers might already find me unfamiliar, I felt a pressure to ensure that I wouldn't become a burden to the production. I didn't even receive proper acting lessons and practiced alone, so I didn't know what I was doing wrong. However, after completing that project somehow, I gained more ambition and courage to do better.

Afterward, you appeared consecutively in the web dramas "Dating Class" and "One Fine Week." They are all romantic comedies, and the characters you played are generally upright and straightforward men. What do you think was the reason for continuously receiving such roles?

= It might be because my actual personality is similar to those characters. Both Wookyung from "Just One Bite" Season 2 and Yoonsoo from "Dating Class" generally have gentle personalities. Although my personality itself isn't exactly FM style, I often hear that I have an outwardly polite appearance, so perhaps they found a commonality in that aspect. While our personalities may be similar, acting was still challenging. For example, Yoonsoo is a character who is like a robot, and it was difficult to match the stiffness of his speech. So, I did a lot of research on character speech patterns by watching videos of other actors or people. I particularly enjoyed playing Eden in "One Fine Week" because although he appeared polite on the outside, his inner self was completely different. It was fun to express a personality that was different from mine.

Director Kim Soojung of "Semantic Error" once said about actor Park Seoham, "He is diligent enough to be the first to arrive on set, and his skill improvement is evident because of his good adaptability." I thought this diligence might have been cultivated through years of idol life.

= That's right. Especially since KNK wasn't a very active group, each schedule was highly valued. On the set of "Semantic Error," all the staff members, including the director, were senior to me. So even before filming began, I would ask for advice and express my willingness to learn. Director Kim Soojung, in particular, gave me a lot of advice on things to consider before shooting and methods for acting practice. To hear such stories, I had to be on set early.

As an actor, what are your strengths?

= It's still a stage of exploration, and I want to find it. Just two years ago, the word "actor" felt too heavy. But now, I confidently call myself an actor. I want to become a person who lives up to the weight of that title. I am as strong as my perseverance. I endured the tough trainee days and KNK activities with that strength. I will continue to carry with me perseverance and a diligent attitude.

Some actors who started their careers as singers have returned to music by releasing albums or engaging in music activities alongside acting. Do you have a desire to pursue both acting and music simultaneously?

= I'm not sure. Right now, I don't feel confident enough to go back to music broadcasts. (Laughs)

While looking forward to another stroke of luck,

Was the photo essay "March For You" published at the suggestion of the publishing company?

= I see. At first, I hesitated. Isn't publishing a book something anyone can do? But if it's a book that fans would enjoy, I felt confident. Initially, I considered only a photo book, but I wanted to put more effort into it and ended up writing longer passages. It took quite some time, but I'm satisfied with the outcome for my first book. I believe fans will also enjoy it.

Did you come up with the title yourself?

= The original title was 'Crazily Survived Days.' (Laughs) Personally, I really like the number 3. Since I mainly covered my daily life in the book, the photos and content weren't flashy or provocative. So, I came up with the title 'Crazily Survived Days,' meaning 'I've calmly dealt with my days like blanching vegetables.' Ultimately, the title 'March For You' was chosen.

There are many landscape photos in the book as well. If you had to pick your favorite among them?

= They are cherry blossom photos. They bloom and wither quickly, but I like the way they look when they're in full bloom. There were several of them included repeatedly, and I didn't want to leave any out, so I ended up including them all.

You held a fan meeting not long ago and mentioned wanting to try playing a "bad role." The range of what constitutes a "bad role" is quite broad. I'm curious about what specifically you'd like to try.

= I haven't thought about specific genres or characters, but I do want to try playing a multidimensional villain. I recently watched a drama called "It's Your Turn" where a character initially seemed kind but turned out to be the culprit. That setup was shocking to me. I would like to try portraying such a multidimensional villain.

Your previous answer about being interested in romantic comedy is still valid?

= Absolutely! I'm very interested! I've done a lot of romantic comedies in the past and have always enjoyed filming them, so I'd love to challenge myself with more. The same goes for classic melodramas too.

Do you also have a desire to work in movies?

= Of course, I do. However, I don't want to express a vague desire like "I want to try movies" in this context. I still feel that I have a lot to improve, so I'm diligently preparing and steadily building up my skills. When a good opportunity comes along, I won't hesitate to pour my heart into it.

Do you have any upcoming projects in preparation?

= I'm scheduled to start filming soon. I'll be spending most of the week taking action and horseback riding lessons. I really want to emphasize that this is a huge spoiler. (Laughs) I've never really fought anyone in my life, so action is a bit of a challenge… But I've been praised for my talent in horseback riding lessons. It's been almost two years since I've seen in a project, so I'm doing my best to learn and make fans proud.

I've been incredibly busy since the beginning of the year. If I were to share my plans for the remaining year…

= Once the filming for the next project starts, the rest of the year will probably pass by quickly. Finishing this year like that makes me feel like I can welcome next year with real excitement. Personally, I like the number 3, and I'll be turning 33 next year. (Laughs) On the day of my 8th debut anniversary, I looked through old photos, and it felt strange. So much has changed. Looking back at past hardships, I now think, 'Yeah, those things happened,' 'What was so difficult about that?' Life seems to have cycles of luck and misfortune. Now, whenever I'm going through a tough time, I wait for the happiness that will come to me. I used to be afraid of the future, but these days, I'm curious about my future.

Park Seoham's Four Seasons

Spring - Busker Busker's "Cherry Blossom Ending" , TWS "Plot Twist"

When I was a trainee, an album containing was released. At that time, I went to the Han River with other trainees and listened to the album from track 1 to the end together. Whenever I listen to , it feels like I can smell spring and remember that day at the Han River. So, it's a song I always seek out when spring comes. These days, I also listen to TWS's "Plot Twist" frequently. They're so adorable that it makes me want to have a son like them!

Summer - Drama "My Name is Kim Sam Soon"

It was a drama my mother really enjoyed. We used to sit together and watch TV, but at that time, I don't think I fully understood the emotions of the characters. As time passed and I watched it again, I understood why my mother found it so entertaining. At that time, even though Sam Soon was only in her thirties, she seemed stressed because of her age. Now that I'm in my thirties, those concerns resonate with me differently. This year, I turned thirty-two, and Sam Soon, who is just in her thirties, seems too young. When I reach my forties, I'll probably look back and think that my thirty-two-year-old self seemed quite young too, right? With these thoughts in mind, I appreciate the drama each year with a different perspective.

Autumn - Yoon Do-hyun's "I Guess I Loved You" Deli spice's "Chow Chow"

In autumn, it's always about ballads. Yoon Do-hyun's "I Guess I Loved You" and Deli spice's "Chow Chow" are my go-to songs when the weather gets chilly and autumn sets in. As soon as I feel that autumn vibe, I immediately add them to my playlist and put them on repeat.

Winter - Drama "My Liberation Notes"

I've rewatched it about 6 times so far. Even when I traveled to Australia, I watched it again on the plane. It's a work that deeply resonates with me, and it comes to mind when the weather gets cold. The atmosphere and story portrayed in the video are simple and not overly stimulating, allowing me to watch it comfortably. There are heart-wrenching moments in every episode that keep me coming back for more.

Source: [커버] 나의 세번째 챕터, 배우 박서함 (cine21.com)