#i watched the whole show in college cuz i’d never watched it and like
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rewatched the aang ozai fight to feel something
#like GoDdddDdDd#i love atla more than i love Myself#the ONE TIME the hype actually made sense#i watched the whole show in college cuz i’d never watched it and like#MAN#i wanna rewatch it so bad tbh i could#who’s gonna stop me#talking#i strive to make anything a FRACTION this good
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I’m so glad I got crossfaded out of my fucking mind one day enough to the point to think while watching South Park for the actual billionth time ‘hmmm you know what, this may be a weird thought but Stan and Kyle would make a cute love story. i should see if there’s, like, fan fics about South Park out there so i can get more of a SP fix’” (like this was some kinda original thought LMFAO)
I’ve loved South Park for YEARS but for some reason never thought to look into the fandom of it all until that one fateful drunken night. I’d never really been a ‘shipper’ of anything before (I wouldn’t have considered myself a person who was necessarily against shipping as it was never anything I gave a second thought to, but I certainly wasn’t a shipper and stuck so close to nerding out about canon shit) but was just really feeling S+Ks friendship that night I guess lmao. I had NO idea what i was about to discover about the south park fandom.
The amount of fandom and lore that dates back to literally DECADES back is honestly SO fucking impressive (and I’m honestly kinda bummed Im just realizing the fandom side of my fave show exists just recently cuz I think this shit would’ve been a lifeline to me years ago). Like, tweek and Craig becoming canon was BECAUSE of fandom? It’s so insane and honestly looking at some of the older works in the fandom makes me feel so nostalgic despite not being there for its inception. I really feel like this whole phenomenon could be studied in like, a college class or something. I’d started writing a shitty fic having never read any fan fic in my life aside from a couple dr who and Sherlock shit in middle school on wattpad (had never heard of A03 etc) and was quickly humbled to see the sheer amount of content in the SP fandom.
If there are any SP fandom historians out there that can get me caught up to speed on the basic timeline of the SP fandom and how it coincides to the show/share some classic works in the fandom I’d be so grateful. Give me all the drama and lore of the fandom pls.
The screenshot above is a screen capture from fucking 1999 called ‘The Empire Sucks Ass’ of a South Park/Star Wars crossover, and it’s pretty glorious tbh. There was hardly anything on the website (and it looks like that website only lasted for a couple years. It doesn’t exist anymore). If you use the Wayback machine for that website to go to 1999 you’ll find a good amount of South Park classic fics, mainly written by men at that time. Also, if some folks think some of the Wendy hate in fics can be bad now, holy shit was it godawful based on what I’m seeing for fics in the wayback machine lmao
#south park#sp style#sp creek#eric cartman#ancient fan fics#yo if anyone wants to start a book club for reading ancient South Park fics I’d be so down lmao#south park fandom#this shit seriously needs to be studied
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Actually since I’m on my tumblr diary shit right now anyway can I just say something I can pinpoint the exact fucking moment I stopped feeling like myself. I was on the plane back from the farm going back home and I was watching a tv show and they showed a dead body and it wasn’t scary or anything just a dead person lying there and I thought to myself holy shit man that’s gonna be me one day no matter what it’s all gonna be over and I realized that I had left my home for three months to do some shit that I had never done before and live with a giant group of strangers and that in that moment I was coming home and was still the same person I was when I’d left and none of it had really meant anything. That my whole entire life I’ve been really optimistic that things will change for me and I’ll change and I’ll be this super great version of myself and like everything is going to be amazing which is why I was never really sad cuz I had seriously so much hope. But then on the plane I realized I’d put in so much effort to go and be a different person but I was the same and it hadn’t meant anything. Life had just passed me by anyway. And since I’ve been back and graduated college each day just passes me by and I don’t change and I don’t have any goals I get closer to. I seriously just stay still and everything moves around me. And that’s it and it doesn’t matter what I do and it’ll probably just go on like this until I seriously do die and I won’t go to heaven or be reincarnated it’ll just be nothing. Who else feels this way or is it just me
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How the hell does this not have a term?
tl;dr: It takes a period of time and repeated exposure to a person before I experience romantic/sexual attraction. I do not have to “know” the person and I don’t think there are any specific bonds forming which makes me think I’m not demi. It’s less about a bond and more about the person growing on me.
I cannot be the only one who experiences attraction this way.
I’ve always been on the fence on being demiromantic/sexual, because most of their experiences are relatable. I absolutely cannot fathom getting with someone you just met. Getting crushes on someone you just met. The whole “love at first sight” crap. But I do get celebrity crushes. And I have been romantically/sexually attracted to people I technically don’t know. The thing is, for me, it’s less about a bond forming and more about familiarity with the person. Like...
Every crush I’ve ever had, with the exception of my boyfriend, has taken time to form. Anywhere from a week to a year. But the reasoning behind the ones that took a week are questionable. All of those happened during a time where I was desperate for a boyfriend because, amatonormativity. During that period of my life, every college semester involved a new crush to pursue. Those crushes were legitimate crushes, but they never happened first sight. It was always “he’s kinda cute” followed by no better looking guys to pursue so maybe I’d attempt to snatch the “kinda cute” one and then crush formed. (Funnily enough, they all ended as soon as it was confirmed things wouldn’t work out.)
I don’t know what to make of those strange cases at all, especially since that was 10+ years ago. The only time I ever felt immediate romantic attraction was towards my boyfriend, during that same period of desperation. Under normal circumstances, a crush doesn’t happen until several months after knowing that person exists.
That aside, let’s move on to my celebrity crushes and the two, recent IRL crushes.
I have never had an instant celebrity crush. But I’ve had them. And it’s kinda hard to get that special bond with someone you’ve never met. For me, it always starts with a “he’s kinda cute” and then don’t think anymore of them. Until I come across them again. And again. And again. Next thing I know, I’m watching interviews. Reading articles. Saving pictures (though I’ve done that with guys I’m only aesthetically attracted to, except I never look at them again). It becomes a crush.
It’s slightly different if it’s a TV show character. Those are less about time period (cuz binging is a thing), and more about taking a few episodes to kick in (but again, they always start with the cursed “he’s kinda cute” thought).
(ALTHOUGH- part of me thinks those celebrity/fictional crushes could have been something other than romantic attraction? I can’t recall actually wanting to date them. Just look at them, learn more about them, and hug them. Though I have swooned over them so who tf knows. Maybe it’s that mysterious alterous attraction I keep hearing about?)
And then there’s the two IRL crushes that happened this year. Although I interacted with both of them regularly, I still didn’t know them know them. And the crushes didn’t come instantly. The first one took 2 months. The other one took almost a year. (Those two and my boyfriend are the only people I’ve been confirmed sexually attracted to.)
I also had a crush on my 11th grade teacher. When I was in 12th grade. Yes, you read that right. The crush took so long to form that by the time it actually formed, he was no longer my teacher (though in that case it is possible I had an actual bond).
So like demis, my crushes do take time to form. But it’s more of an exposure thing than a bond. It’s like the person just, grows on me over time. I’m surprised I can’t find a specific term for this. How the hell is there not a term for this?? Someone with actual influence in the community needs to get on coining one because there’s no way in hell I’m the only person who only experiences attraction after the person grows on you!
(Or am I somehow experiencing a bond towards these people anyway, and so I actually am demi even though I’ve had celebrity crushes and crushes I don’t know well?)
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Requests (5/23/2021)
Hi lovelies! I’ve been getting so many requests & I’m working hard to get all of them in the queue. Thanks for sending them my way! I’m writing to let you know that the queue is now full until the end of June. I was able to get every requests from my May 8th post in there except for a few. Requests from May 8th for captions featuring Katy Perry, Jenna Fischer, Marisol Nichols, Addison Rae, Ariana Grande, Erin Kellyman, Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish, Jhene Aiko, & Kirstin Maldonado will be posted in early July.
But there have been an absolute ton of requests since then too, yay! So I’m listing all the requests that I haven’t gotten to below. If you made a request but don’t see it below that might be for a few reasons. 1) I’ve written it already and it will be posted in June. 2) It’s one of the requests I posted on May 8th so I won’t talk about it here. 3) I considered it a demand not a request (for example, I received two that said “Anything with,” that wasn’t really a request just telling me to do it. Sorry if this bothers some of you but it is an issue with me so make sure you word your requests AS requests). Either way, thanks for the love, lovelies! :D
Anonymous said:
Could you do one with either Kelley O’hara or Alex Morgan from the USWNT about a guy soccer player watching the US win the world cup and then want to be them or something like that?
I actually know who both those are (shockingly enough, I don’t really follow sports) so sure thing!
Anonymous said:
Could you do lorengrey captions? She’s so hot
Sorry sweetie, don’t know who that is. :(
Anonymous said:
Hi I just had an idea for a game you could do. It could be where someone has to say as a boy what they’re like physically in stages. So first stage is hair color for example, second stage could be height, third stage could be body type, etc. An example would be if I was a black hair, short height, thick body type, I would match up with someone like Nicki Minaj. Just an idea which you could extend on. Hopefully it makes sense. I appreciate you!
I actually have a game like this mapped out called “Build a Sissy” where you choose age, hair color, and bra size, but it would take a LOT of work to make so I haven’t written it yet. Maybe some day though. :)
Anonymous said:
I would love to see a Tori Kelly caption. Her hair and body are not typical but beautiful for a white girl. I say that last sentence respectfully. I think having a caption with her would be great
Sure thing! Tori Kelly is a cutie. :)
Anonymous said:
Ok I'm not sure if u'll know these 2 cuz even I had to look them up for the names but anne dudek and maitland ward theyre the 2 blonde sisters from white chicks not sure if uve seen it but if u can could u make a caption for them please?
I DO know who they are! I’ve been thinking about doing a White Chicks caps because there’s a lot of cute looks in that movie (especially for Busy Phillips who I just love) so sure thing!
Anonymous said:
Could u do Yvette nicole brown from community? Id like to see some big girl love
Sure thing!
Anonymous said:
I already know that this request is probably gonna be a No but I still have to ask whats the ruling on GCI enhanced celebrities like Taylor swift from Cats? Or is that too much like "Furry" stuff. Now I'm Feeling this will be a No for multiple reasons
So it is not an issue with CGI “enhanced” celebrities but for Cats it is because I do not have a Furry fetish and I get uncomfortable thinking about writing caps for it. But I write caps with “manips” all the time (photoshopped images of celebs) so I’m not ruling out CGI enhanced celebs all together.
Anonymous said:
Can you do one of Lindsey stirling? And for the story can it be a guy trying to learn Violin but he cant seem to focus he even tried hot female teachers but it didnt work then he gets a male teacher than he starts focusing and wanting to please the teacher he becomes a sissy sorry its a long request
Sounds fun, sure thing!
Anonymous said:
Hi big fan and I think you’ve been doing amazing work. Is there anyway you could do a story about a guy who loses a bet to sorority girl and is forced to get his nails painted and turned into a girl? I love the idea of having a boys nails painted against his will. I’d love one with Selena Gomez but if you think another celeb would be better I leave that cumpletely to you.
Totally! This sounds fun. :D
Anonymous said:
Can you do thelma and Louise?
I’m assuming you mean Geena Davis & Susan Sarandon from Thelma & Louise so yes. Yes I can. :)
Anonymous said:
Can you do a caption from the movie bridesmaids? Like when theyre all trying on dressess or something?
I haven’t seen Bridesmaids (I know I know) but I can try something. :)
Anonymous said:
it would be super cool if you could do some more games! They’re my fav
Glad you like them! As long as I’m not on hiatus, games will be posted every second Saturday. I’ve already got two set for June. :)
Anonymous said:
Hey huge fan of your recent work and super excited about new caps!! Do you think you could do one about a college guy who drops out in pursuit of being a stand up comedian, but the comedy club needs a female comic so they turn him into a girl? I was thinking maybe Nikki Glaser, she so funny and sexy. Thanks can’t wait to see all your new stuff!!
Oooo, Nikki Glaser is great. Sure thing!
Anonymous said:
Can you make a caption about a guy who makes fun of curvy and thicc women, where the women get their revenge and turn the guy into Nia Jax?
You got it!
Anonymous said:
Hi Me again on the topic of the assembly line worker caption sequel if you do it i just an idea for the story like before depicting the sissies "first time" but you can have it be that the coworker doesnt know and is telling everyone about the chick he slept with last night and the sissy is just thinking "if only they knew"idk i thought it was good anyways thank u again
So this message is in reference to a sequel caption that was requested & that I did write and will be posted in June. I’m sharing it here to let the anon know that I wrote the cap BEFORE I got this second request so there will be a followup but the story will be different. I hope that’s ok.
Anonymous said:
Hi idk if u watch wrestling or not I see u have some captions of wwe womens wrestlers but im not sure have far ur knowledge of it is? Could u do a caption of Rhea Ripley if u know her?
I have never seen a single episode of WWE, I do not watch wrestling, and yet somehow every time someone requests a wrestler I know who she is. Don’t ask me how because I do not know. Anyways, yeah I can do a Rhea Ripley one. :)
Anonymous said:
Could you do a caption about a janitor for sissy co. That finds out the strange goings on at work and tries to blow the whistle on the whole operation but is caught and turned into a sissy maid for the sissy co. Corporate office abit specific I know but ive been thinking on that awhile however u do it will be perfect thanks
You got it!
Anonymous said:
Could you do katheryn Hahn from wandavision specifically the 80s look with the Big hair and aerobics outfit
Oooo, sounds nice. I’ll type that up for sure. :)
Anonymous said:
Hi big fan of your caps!! Do you think you could do a cap where a football player wants to go to the NFL but gets hurt, so they turn him into a female commentator, maybe Lauren Rutledge? If you don’t know her, she’s been a college football reporter for awhile and was also a former Miss Florida. Anyways I just think any guy would be lucky to be turned into her and I love your caps keep up the great work!!
Me: *googles Lauren Rutledge to see if it’s who I’m thinking of* How do I know who this is? Anyways, yes I can write this. :)
...for some reason there are no GIFs of her though so I’m just gonna move on.
Anonymous said:
Hi I'm the one that requested the LONG list of celebs I'm still really sorry about that I didnt realize how many it actually was till I looked back so I wanna retract some for your sake tell ya what if you havent done any already just do the ones that are specifically marked (as in the ones detailed by movie or show theyre in) the ones that are just names you can leave out i knoe its still alot but hopefully that takes some weight off of ya sorry again
You don’t have to be sorry! Like I said, in the future I’d ask that folks limit requests to no more than 3 celebs at a time but you didn’t know that. I’d never said that before. I typed up every celebrity and they’re going to be sprinkled in during June. Hope you like them! :)
Anonymous said:
Hello ^^ I love your work. Can u make a caption with the name "jules" and Ariana Grande please? Thank you
Sure thing!
Anonymous said:
Hey, not really an ask, but something I needed to share
I'm the one that asked for the Stephanie Beatriz caption from a whole back, and I absolutely loved how it turned out. Each time you roll out a new caption is like a small thrill to me and I read them right as they're released.
Now this wouldn't be an ask if I wasn't asking something, right? Well, next month sees the release of the "In the Heights" movie, and there's an opportunity there to do a series of captions using stephanie Beatriz from that same movie.
In conclusion, I love your captions so much, you're amazing!
Awww, this is such a sweet message. Thank you! And YAAASSSSS! Ever since the first trailer for In the Heights dropped I was like, “I must write a caption with her in this!” So you can imagine how fun it’s been waiting this entire time. *eye twitches*. We’ll have to wait until the movie comes out for me to be sure I can find a good image but this IS a caption I want to write. :)
Anonymous said:
Hi I just recently came across your blog and fell in love with it!! The caption with the football player being turned into Bella Thorne is one of my favorites!! I’d love so much if you could do a sequel or something to that cap it was so amazing and I need to know what else happens to “her”. I’m not sure if this is possible or if you even do sequels but this cap was great and I look forward to all the others!!!
Glad you like it! I’m always looking for sequel captions to write on Throwback Thursday so you’ll get this for sure. :)
Anonymous said:
Hey big fan! Do you think you could do a caption where a short guy gets made fun of by all his girl friends for how short he is? Ariana Grande is fairly short and I think a caption of her (of age of course) would be awesome
You got it!
Anonymous said:
Can you do one with the bella twins as two guys who fought over the same girl then the girl turns them both into look alikes of her but then they start fighting over the same guy
Yep!
Anonymous said:
Do you know suzy berhow? Or angie Griffin? If so would love a caption of either of them please
Sorry sweetie, I don’t know who those are. :(
Anonymous said:
Would appreciate more Sia captions please when u get the chance
I will remember that. :)
Anonymous said:
Can make some Winnie Harlow caption please? I adore her style
Sorry lovely, I don’t know who that is. :(
Anonymous said:
How about instead of removing the captions with Demi in them ,the images of Demi were just replaced with another celeb and if Demi is mentioned by name in the caption then that could be edited to mention a different celeb. I respect Demi's decision I do but lets not lose some well made captions. Also if you could please make a caption where Amy Adams feminises a fan and raises them as her daughter and Kristen Stewart makes you her submissive wife that would be appreciated. I'm a fan of them.
So about the Demi Lovato captions: I understand your feelings but I’m still going to delete the original captions. Because of how my captions are made I can’t just go back in & swap out an image or edit the text, I have to remake it from the ground up. I am hoping to do that with some (maybe all) of the Demi Lovato captions & re-publish them, but I’m still going to delete the originals.
I can do the Kristen Stewart one for sure and I’ll TRY to do the Amy Adams one I just am not 100% sure I can find a pic for that but we’ll see. :)
Anonymous said:
If it’s possible before your summer hiatus could you do a caption with Amanda Crew (silicon valley, sex drive)?
I will do one with Amanda Crew but I can’t commit to doing it before the hiatus.
About the hiatus: I don’t know when it’s going to be. I want to TRY to make it to at least July 18th because I have a specific game in mind I want to post for 5 years of Celebrity TG Captions games, but after that I have no idea. I’ve been writing caps for a longer stretch of time since normal since I’ve switched to a part-time blog so I might burn out at any second but for right now I’ve still got some juice.
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WHAT IF... SANDERS SIDES BUT MAKE IT A TROPEY TEEN BEACH AU
Endgame!LAMP. Dukeceit, Remile
Just 2k stream of consciousness words from a plunny that grew legs TW for v slight underage drinking, one joking mention of violence, and a non-specific discussion of intrusive thoughts
-Janus has just moved there because his parents wanted to start a new "adventure" and he is a Stereotypical Teenager. Very "ugh MOM I wanna go back to my FRIENDS for my LAST SUMMER BEFORE COLLEGE"(most of his friends suck. He should not spend time with them. He does not know this)
His Parents buy him a surfboard and tell him to try it out as a way to get him to Shut Up
Hes a Skater Boy(cue music) so he picks it up super fast from like,,, youtube videos
-He gets told to Get a Job if he wants to like, keep buying surf gear?
All the local kids work at like one restaurant/yacht club type place right on the beach
Janus gets hired as a host
-Logan is a beach badge checker, Patton, Roman, and Remus are beachfront restaurant waiters but Roman just Really Wants To Surf, Emile and Virgil are Lifeguards, and Remy is a bartender
-Janus is Very Good At Customer Service because Fake Smiles
Patton recognizes this Immediately
He shows him the Rage Closet which is a tiny room with an arm chair that locks from the inside where you can punch a pillow on your break when it gets to be Too Much
-Janus is Attached now and there is no getting rid of him
Patton Fully Endorses this and introduces him to the rest of the group
Janus Knows Immediately that LAMP is In Love but says nothing because he aint no snitch
-Remus surfs, but he also always wear a thong while doing it
Roman wears a full wetsuit and somehow still gets Board Rash. Remus is somehow immune and it infuriates him
-Janus, not knowing that the twins live right on the beach cuz they are RichTM: Hey Ree I kinda wanna learn how to surf would you be able to teach me
Remus, who religiously watches Janus surf every morning, but is absolutely willing to play this game: Yeah absolutely
Patton, later: “lets rinse off at the twins they’re right here” Janus: theyre.... What?!
-Meanwhile, elsewhere, Virgil and Roman are double teaming Logan to drag him into the water with them cuz he’s pouting about losing a debate with their manager about how he didn’t really be mean to the dudebro who wanted to get his buddies onto the beach without paying, he was just enforcing the rules. And if the dude was so offended by Logan’s Very Accurate Dragging that he complained to management then, well, that’s his problem not Logan’s
-Logan is never without a book. Ever. And its always a different book. Janus is starting to think he owns a library
One day he is just... reading a Physics textbook. Not taking notes or anything. Just reading.
Roman is Very Very Alarmed by this because he is Gay and Math is Scary
"Roman I'm also gay that is not a determining factor"
"Yeah but you can't drive"
"...fair"
-the first time janus has a shift with the twins, he cant stop staring, not just because hes like,,, super attracted to Remus but also because they are like Chaos Incarnate and yet somehow get the most tips??? He doesn't understand???
It's just cuz they are both Huge Flirts and Flatterers and the patrons dont care that they're not-so-subtly beating the shit out of each other right there on the dining floor because theyre just so charming
-one of the bartenders gets aggressively snapped at by a customer and called "sweetheart" and before Janus can even begin to react Remy is there, sunglasses off, fire in his eyes, telling them to settle their bill and get the fuck out
Janus, used to City Restaurants- "Wont you get in trouble with the owner?!"
Remy, who knows Nothing Else But This- "What?? Not likely I only did it cuz Thomathy wasnt here to do it himself"
-the restaurant is closed Monday and Tuesday so that is the Pseudo Weekend for the staff where everyone hangs out at the beach
Emile and Virgil take Tuesdays off but still work Monday’s cuz they feel better being the one watching over their friends
-Roman, staring at Virgil on the lifeguard stand: ugh he’s so pretty I almost wish I was drowning just so he could give me cpr
Janus: you wanna potentially get your ribs broken just for lip contact?
Remy, staring at Emile on the lifeguard stand: listen, if that’s what it takes, I’ll take it
Remus, immediately going up to the lifeguard stand because he has 0 impulse control: hey my brother and cousin want you to break their ribs
Virgil and Emile: excuse me?????
-Patton will literally spend hours in the water. Logan physically drags him out to put sunscreen on him every two hours to the minute. Patton does not admit that he purposely "forgets" just so Logan will do so
Logan is Dark and has never used sunscreen ever but Patton is so pale and he just gets so concerned about him. Patton thinks its adorable
He has pages of research on proper spf determination.
Roman and Remus use spf 15 just on their faces and have never once burned in their lives
Logan wants to submit them for scientific study because that shouldnt be possible
Virgil calls Logan out on the fact that he also should be wearing sunscreen and Logan like... blue screens he cant believe in all his research he missed that
-Patton is like... a ridiculously strong swimmer. Virgil still has a heart attack every time he goes for laps when there is the slightest hint of an undertow
Patton Knows This so he tries to stay in Virgil's sight line for the most part if there is an undertow. Or just dives over the waves again and again.
His nickname is Ariel. He thinks its just cuz of the swimming and the fact hes a red head. LAP all separately also tack on that its the swimming, the red hair, and the hnng pretty 10/10 would follow out to sea ala Prince Eric
-first beach bonfire Janus goes to Remy is Fully In Emile's Lap like... half an hour in
he has had like maybe a sip of a beer
Remus says he still claims this is because he is a Clingy Drunk
no one will call him on it, least of all Emile
-there is truth or dare. Roman may or may not skinny dip you have no proof
-Logan gets infuriated that he cannot roast a marshmallow properly
Patton does it perfectly every single time but its ok cuz he shares and Logan eats it right from his fingers and Roman and Virgil are just in the background Trying and Failing not to be the Most Jealous
Patton thinks theyre upset they didn't get marshmallows and makes some for them too and there is lots of Significant Eye Contact involved
Janus is going to spontaneously combust if they don't get their shit together
-Janus is out walking on the beach one night on a full moon cuz he cant sleep with everything so quiet around here when he sees a bright green patch out in the water and goes ...wait
he calls out to Remus and he comes into shore and is like "waves are perfect at night you should join me" so janus goes back and gets his board and they surf and chat for like the entire night
Janus finds out Remus couldn't sleep cuz intrusive thoughts were keeping him awake
Janus listens and doesn't judge, just lets Remus talk it out
They go back to shore and fall asleep on the sand next to each other like mid sentence still talking, now about whatever creative business idea Remus had, and get woken up by Logan's morning rounds like "come on guys you know you're not allowed to sleep out here" but they dont care theyre both just *blushing emoji*
-Logan Always Has A Notebook right? And a regular book he reads. And everyone assumes they are like Notions and Observations, but no, it’s actually blank paper and he uses it to sketch and then one day he leaves it behind and someone either Virgil or Patton finds it and flips through it and it’s all sketches of them and Roman and they’re like??? Actually really good? Anyway that’s how they find out Logan is actually minoring in art even though he’s majoring in something Very STEM
And he never told his best friends because like almost all his pre college art is Them and he doesn’t want to be caught having Feelings and by the time it gets to college it’s been too long and he can’t tell them now
Roman takes one of the sketches of him surfing and makes it his profile picture on All Social Media He Has and Logan is so flustered he nearly breaks his damn phone
Patton is so offended he didn’t get invited to Logan’s first showcase that he doesn’t talk to him for like two whole hours
Virgil quietly asks if there is any art of all four of them, finds out there is, and makes a print and keeps it on his bedside table
-They are all Pining Outwardly Now and its Worse
-Remus : you have known them since pre-k please ask them out I beg of you
Roman: You just dont get it
Remus: I asked Janus out after 4 weeks what is your problem
Emile: Virgil, I love you, you are my Partner in Anti-Drowning but you are so stupid
Virgil: What???? All I said is that you and Remy are really cute and I'd love to be in a relationship like that
Emile: I am not a violent person, Virgil, but I have the strong urge to smack you
Patton, in the Rage Closet: They're all just so hOT and ReSPEctFUL
Janus, waiting for his turn, trying to act like he cant hear him: I Am Looking Elsewhere
Logan: I just don't understand why they were more upset that I didn't tell them than that I'd been making art of them for years?? Shouldn't that second part be worse??
Remy, who has been partial to Every Single One Of AMP Waxing Poetic About Logan: Yeah, no idea /s
-the twins get into a surfing competition as a pair and everyone goes to see them and support them
Thomas airs the competition on every tv in the restaurant cuz he’s Proud of his Bois
They WIN cuz they are Creative and Talented and came up with all sorts of crazy tricks while they were fucking around in the water but it earns them Major Bonus Points for originality
-Roman does the run off the podium and into Love’s arms trope with just like... whoever’s closest lets go Patton because he is a Waif and forced himself up front so he can see
The other two are Devastated because well shit but then Roman pushes through the crowd, still holding Patton’s hand, and gives them this smile and is like “remember in like second grade when we said we’d do everything together and made a pact on this beach”
Analogical: uhhhhhh yeah
Roman: holding you both to it. No take backs. This counts. Now kiss me, dammit, we WON and they DO MANY TIMES AND ITS REAL CUTE
-Meanwhile dukeceit have Mysteriously Disappeared and No One wants to be the ones to go find them. They show back up, eventually. Janus has a branch in his hair and remus' hair is sticking straight up and when he opens his mouth roman glares at him and tells him in no uncertain terms that they do not want to know
AnYWaY these are my children and I will gladly answer any questions about them. I left out Janus Backstory and Creativitwins Angst and Many Individual LAMP Scenes and Remile/Dukeceit getting together and Epilogue but can absolutely provide such things on request
#romantic lamp#dukeceit#remile#ts fic#sanders sides fic#remus mention#tropey beach au#listen im not responsible for what i do when on the beach with discord open#this is so self indulgent my god
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_
I'm not doing that podcast anymore. I'm racking my brain here trying to figure out how to build an audience/make $ creatively rn. Every conventional avenue is cut off to me, as I've explained before. I don't really want to write books anymore (due to restricted creative control/sadly losing faith entirely in the medium/business of the novel as an effective art form in these horrendous times) - but trying to build an audience online has just been one failure after another. I really don't know what to do. These days, I catch myself daydreaming about dropping off the grid entirely & farming or some shit but I think realistically my disability precludes me (for multiple reasons) from such foolishness. & I think I'm always going to need to create art of some description. I just wish...like...anyone would care... & this isn't a call out post or anything - like - I get it. Shit is falling apart everywhere (more rapidly than I think many abled folk may realize) so reading/listening to my creative output is nobody's top priority (nor should it be) - especially in such oversaturated markets I don't really know what I'm trying to say here. Like. I'm unemployed - I have no prospects - & even if I had any - the government would cut funding for medical necessities b/c secretly (but not so secretly) policy is set up for people like me to die quietly in the background I'm far more privileged than most in my position, due to my family. At least for now. But if I can't find a steady source of income soon, I'm going to have to move back in with my folks which I really do not want to have to do. Like - I did everything right. I went all the way through a hellish school system. I graduated (with honors) from college. I jumped through all their hoops, I played all the stupid fucking games. & because of my condition I am almost completely cut off from society - b/c no one has given me a chance at the things I actually give a shit about. (This is a rant now oh well lol) & I know I'm a damn good writer. I'm a good artist. But finding an audience is just. I don't even know. I don't even know who I am anymore half the time. I feel thoroughly rejected from society at large. Not that I'd wanna join it right now lmao but like...it'd be nice to be asked. I'm not the only one hanging on by a fuckin thimble right now. I know that. But as a disabled person, I feel the strain before many of you. I feel it when there's not enough people to help me get up in the morning so I get left lying in bed for four hours after my usual times. Sorry, I'm rambling now. I'm also kind of exhausted trying to come up with creative endeavors and putting them up with nobody giving a shit. I put my heart & soul into these things - and I have for years. 32 years of my life, where instead of going out enjoying myself or trying to form friendships (which is already really fucking difficult when I have to get back home every day at 9pm cuz my aides are working 100 hr wks & I don't want to overtax their schedules anymore than I already do) - I chose to forego all that, laying myself on the great altar of art or whatever...all for what? Nobody caring? It's. Fuckin soul crushing. I spend like 95% of my time alone. & I don't think I'm the only one. All I really do is work on creative endeavors, research, and then finally turn off my brain watching football or w/e I don't have energy for any of this anymore. This hyper capitalist mode of....I just. I'm not even making sense & I'm all over the place & I usually outline/plan this sort of shit & probably nobody will read this anyway so I don't know why I'm bothering lmao Shot in the dark, I guess? I dunno. I know I have people who love me. & for that I'm grateful. I hope you all do too. These are dark times & I don't see them brightening in our lifetimes I'm afraid. Hold on to the ones you got I suppose. We all just have to play the cards we're dealt, even if they're all jokers, right? While I do have people who love me, I'm also sick of Utah & the US as a whole tbh, but I honestly doubt anywhere would be much
better if I'm being realistic. Even Mars will be conquered by Musk... Anyway. Just trying to express how it feels to be disabled in these times of societal collapse unheard of since the end of the Bronze Age. Perhaps it's for the best. Wish I could inhabit a different body for a while. But "if wishes were horses, we'd all be eatin' steak," to quote the bard. Like. for just one day, I'd love to experience a day that didn't feel like going to war with myself. With the world. With...like, ok, this is kind of a stupid fuckin example, but on the other hand it shows you the power of art (for w/e that's worth these days) but I was watching the most recent season (series) of Sex Education on Netflix (great frikken show btw) - and for the first time EVER - a disabled character (played by a disabled actor) has an intimate scene with another character where she's not a sex worker (no shame to sex workers but the connotation is always we can only ever have sex if we pay for it) & nobody died lmao - & it was this sacred scene where consent was central & it was playful & sweet & it literally made me cry b/c like - (& I don't cry AT ALL anymore - it's just not me) but I did - I fuckin cried, because like. You can't understand. I'm sorry. But you can't. To never see yourself reflected in such a manner. & then suddenly. You see yourself being tenderly kissed on the nose - & for a touch starved cripple - to see that - like. I know in this life I'm never gonna get that. I've accepted that. I'm too old & too much of a fuckup. But for the youth to see that? For the disabled youth of the world? Fuck. I hope it fills them with the brighter future they deserve. Maybe art can move mountains after all. Just wish I could build a door to get myself out of *here.* It's so fucking hard to see the light right now for me. I hold my head up high. I smile. I'm the strongest person I know. But I just wish I could peel off my shit & be the real me & be loved & I'm terrified none of that will ever be in store for me. But I roll on, as always. Love & strength & sorry to be...this...lmao....
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[ BROKEN RECORDS ; asks ]
💌 — love letter from @kyriaan
from track 007.
Okay okay im still kinda meh'ish' but i really wanted to answer you so 😭 ill try to compile both my answer to your answer on my love letter and my hyped review on track 7 <3 so yeah another long ass rant from me 😩💕Suki... Suki pls I totally forgot Tsumu had a crush on us Suki... And then poor Tsumu ir there sulking cause he still likes u- JFBFBDVDVSJCHDHSIA omfg i wanted so much to hug him my baby I like him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he was trying so hard to behave while just sitting there sad fhfhfvbbshsjfhbdjaofhffhsoshd TSUMU YOU'RE STILL IN MY TOP 3 BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
And then you throw the whole dancing scene with suna and I dont know whos on my top 3 anymore 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 SUKIIIIIIII THAT SCENE ALONE GJGJBFBSJCNFNKSOSNF OMFG IM FALLING SO HARD FOR SUNA I THINK? I think my top 3 had 4 dudes in it cause 3rd place has Suna and Atsumu tied?? Hfhfbfbfhdhsja I CANT PICK?? BUT BUT I WAS FEELING STUPIDLY DOWN WHEN READING THAT AND THAT SCENE ALONE MADE ME FEEL SO SOFT IT WAS SO CUTE AND OMG IF SUNA DID THAT TO ME I WOULD DROP ON MY KNEES AND ASK HIM TO MARRY ME CAUSE OMFGGGFFFF DUDE EVEN WENT AHEAD AND SAID THAT WHOLE 'HES GOING TO BE ONE LUCKY GUY'
Oh shit im crying again that scene lets me emotional 😭😭😭😭 someone get me a sunrin irl pls
Anyways the way that suna knows y/n is just.... FUCKING END UP TOGETHER ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST JBVSHSJBEHSISJ
Also how powerful are we?? HOW FUCKING POWERFUL ARE WE TO SCORE SUNA KITA AND TSUMU?? ARE YOU GONNA TELL. ME IF OIKAWA MOFO TOORU APPEARED HE WOULD ALSO BE ON HIS KNEES FOR US?? (okay no wait... No nooo i would legit drop anyones ass for tooru hes that powerful for me like sorry suna was fun but TOORU)
Yo nah but the whole Kita sex scene- let me breath bestie LET ME BREATH CAUSE I WAS HOT BUT AT SAME TIME I WAS FEELING GUILTY 😂😂😂😂 ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS FEELING DISAPPOINTED NEXT DAY LIKE KITA PLS BABY WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?? 😬😬😬😬 But at same time his 'ill fuck the thought of him out of you tonight' I ALMOST MOANED YASSSSS TELL ME DADDY HOLY SHITTTTT
👀👀👀👀 Still not a kita simp ✌️✌️🤏✌️
Okay Kita deserves the best tho I mean okay he went there as a y/n mom's plan but he did ended up helping alot... Especially cause he knows no matter what y/n heart will always be suna's and pls give Kita the best ending possible cause he deserves someone who will trully love him and show him the world cause mah boy deserves it
*breaths in breaths out* i hated this scene- not in a bad way but shit i hate rejections... To the point im kinda afraid of confessing now cause i despise the feeling of being rejected... The best i can descrive it it like this coldness in your chest that descends your whole body and then you feel frozen in place.. Thats how it feels for me I hate it I absolutely despise it- its also the feeling i have when in a really bad situation and ugh...
The suna part made. Me feel this no matter how many times i reread it the feeling doesnt lessen it keeps being there cause (okay you probably are tired already of me saying this but) Suki I feel like I cant put it in words how much of a fucking good of a writer you are. Ill go ahead and say you are by far my favorite writer the fact i always feel so engaged and the fact i always feel like im there its just- it blows my mind.
I felt like suna was personally rejecting me and i hated it- i swear the moment he said prove it I almost screamed HOW? My brain had to take a moment to just slap me and say: 'kya you reading this is not happening chill-' cause i was already sobbing uncontrollably... I even whimpered the dont leave me 😬 my sadass went to bed feeling so sad thanks to suna... Man i wanted so much to hug him and i swear i would give him as much love as he gave y/n cause well i kin suna alot in this series cause im like that im a giver i treat others the way i would like to be treated (reason why ive been down lately ✌️) and i cant blame suna for finally setting boundaries- his call tho 'do i not stand a chance with you anymore y/n? Are you really not capable of falling in love with me?".... Oh suna... We are in love with you.. We always were we're just fucking stupid 😩
Also mari pls go jump off a cliff <3 youre in need dear cause sleeping with other man just to separate suna and y/n <3 i want so much to punch her 🙂🙃
Now for the love letter part (im so sorry for this being so long ✌️)
You said that if we asked suna he woukd say that he genuinely loved mari okay... Ill go ahead and say yes he liked mari he even learned how to love her and he genuinely cared for her BUT and heres where my personal view comes in so maybe ill be biased here still for me that was just a he loves her as in he cares you also love your friends and care for them but he didnt love her- and by this I mean- he could never be fully committed for her. Yes he loved her and he felt happy with her but like track 7 proved everything he would do in the back of his mind was y/n he deeply wished Mari was her and for that he just loved Mari cause he learned how to care about her- but he never forgot who he trully was in love it. Also the happiness he experienced with Mari was pretty much the one I experienced the bliss of having someone there and that bliss also made suna turn a blind eye to all the red flags from Mari cause to him all the jealousy meant she cared and thats toxic but suna was so desperate for some sort of 'she cares' that even all the possessiveness was bliss for him... And that makes my heart clench for suna...
'suna had to put an effort for the relationship' and saddly i feel like mari didnt... Mari didnt care mari was there because she was a fangirl of suna and got lucky, the way she just discarded him so effortlessly that proved-screamed how much she loved him- she didnt. She was just possessive over him she liked the whole 'hes mine' dynamic and suna was the perfect boyfriend cause he was giving her the world... What he wanted someone to do for him.
Also yeah suna and y/n might have been spurred from them being fuck buddies but well love doesnt really have an agenda- they just clicked, understood each other and had chemistry yeah they had tons and tons of sex but feelings started not because of sex but thanks to their deep connection... Also that dsncing scene in track 7 that alone spoke for their whole relationship- that alone is enough to defend their feelings for each other- yes it might jave started just as fuck buddies but ended up in them loving each other deeply and that is enough love after all doesnt need a perfect start. It can start out of the most stupid ways.
You said life with excitement and fun wouldn't be permanent or real.. Honestly i think it could be.. Cause i mean when you love someone that deeply your life always feels exciting even with the littlest things and that the purest kind of love. Even just going for a walk at the beach would be fun for them or even staying up watching movies i believe suna and y/n would always find a way to make their lofe exciting without much effort.
Also it kinda makes me. Sad when i see some anon saying that y/n and suna relationship are toxic? It makes me. Confused maybe because I was in such extremely toxic one (girl i sweat if you search for toxic relationship my ex's face will be there as an example 🙄) that Mari to me screams toxic! Possessive, manipulative, jealous and a few more if I think closely about it while with y/n and suna they are just two idiots that are hurting each other cause they're just that: idiots one that is afraid to get hurt and the other that keeps hoping- dont get me wrong what they're doing is not healthy but i dont find it toxic honestly
Sorry for the extreme long rant 8D I tried to keep it short but you always make me so hyped to talk about your works 😩
Hfbfbfhfhfieia
[ from saeren ]
NAHHH CUZ I LOVE TSUMU SO MUCH HERE HE WAS SO PRECIOUS. I didn’t write too much about them in college but Atsumu was so cute when he crushed on YN. he was always sending her memes and cute texts like “have you eaten” “good morning” and she’d feel so awkward because she doesn’t know how to let him down easy without hurting him. either way tsumu would feel hurt. AND YES PLS HE WAS SO SAD I MEAN, HIS CRUSH AND HIS BEST FRIEND NEARLY HAD SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM SO THAT’S GOING TO HURT
SUNA AND ATSUMU TIED?? tbh I loved that dancing scene bcos suna is one of my faves and I really wanna do that with him hehehhehe. NAHHH PLEASE SAME IF SUNA DANCED WITH ME AND MADE A WEDDING PLAYLIST I’D BE LIKE boy what’re u waiting for let’s get married now !! n yes he said whoever YN will choose in the future will be one lucky guy IM SOBBING RN
naur cuz. there’s something about dating your best friend. I’m not saying a boyfriend wouldn’t know you as well but there’s something different when you’re best friends first. they could literally share eye contact and have a long ass conversation just from that. their connection is different.
HAJKALA AS FOR THE POWER, BR! YN IS A VERY CHARISMATIC AND FRIENDLY PERSON !! she’s like one of those people you meet that not only are they attractive as hell, but they’re also super approachable and down to earth. that’s why she’s so popular + she’s flirty and can make a stranger feel welcome or comfortable in the first meeting. SGSHJAK I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO ADD OIKAWA HERE BUT I WANNA MAKE IT MORE INARIZAKI CENTRED
the seggs scene with kita SOBSSSS he’s such a soft dom IDC he knows where the clit is, he knows how to hit it. he’s a “your pleasure first before mine” type of guy. kita is perfect, PERIODT. HE GIVES DADDY VIBES HUH AHSKAA HE’S SO SWEET YET SEXY IM IN LOVE WITH HIM ISTG IF SUNA WASN’T OUR BEST FRIEND THEN I’D RUN FOR KITA ALL THE TIME. and I agree, kita deserves the best !! and don’t worry, I actually plan on giving kita the best ending, I promise you he’ll be fine (slight spoiler there)
YESSSSS OMG I’VE BEEN REJECTED BEFORE AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FELT, MY BODY WAS SO COLD AND I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE IT MAKES YOU THINK. am I not good enough, did I do something wrong, do you not wanna give me a chance or try it out but ofc I’d never say that out loud. AND KYAAA AAAH IM YOUR FAVORITE WRITER??? NO CUZ YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. I remember ur asks way back reckless era and you used to tell me that my writing made you picture the scenes easily and you felt you were there in that moment and I’m just so grateful thank you so much <33
NO BCOS WHEN SUNA SAID “prove it” I was like. this is it. that’s his hot boy shit moment. man’s has had enough of being thrown from one toxic relationship to another and he also deserves his good moments yknow. and you kin suna here?? BESTIE IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT, SUNA’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT HERE AHSJAKA. that’s true about suna tho !! he’s definitely affectionate + a giver. he’s happy being the one who gives most of the time but he’s a human as well, ofc he’d want to receive the same amount of love back. ALSO HIS PHONE CALLLLLL ugh tbh that part was the one that made me the saddest bcos he’s just. he wants to know if there’s really no more chance. all this time he never gave up. but he’s also tired so if yn says ‘no more’ then he’ll give up. its his way of respecting himself too ahsjaka
YOOOOO I AGREE WITH THAT. he cares for mari as a person but not 100% as a lover. but ofc he’s still thankful for how happy she made him because she was there at his worst. and that’s true, deep down suna still wishes that it was YN who’s right beside him. he will always ALWAYS want her back. he learned how to love mari in a way that was more out of mutual care but not in the way he loves YN. no that’s reserved only for YN – she will remain no 1 in his heart. AND YESSSSS the reason why suna overlooked the red flags was bcos to him, its something that was supposed to be “normal” like no perfect partner existed. he thought mari’s attitude of pushing YN away was normal, and its normal to want your partner’s best friend keep some distance but not to the point of mari’s place where she literally wants the two of them to cut each other out of their lives.
and aww I’m so happy that you realized how I wanted to portray suna and yn’s relationship. they’re….like the definition of youth in its freest form. they were fucking around and doing stupid things, but they had a connection. they had something deeper than just sexual intimacy. even if they never dated or even if YN never proposed the idea of it, they would’ve actually been still great friends. and oooh I actually don’t remember saying life with excitement and fun wouldn’t be real HAHAHAHA so I can’t comment further on that. but I think when I ‘said’ those I probably meant that it’s not always going to be all rainbows and unicorns in a relationship. there’s no such thing as a relationship that’s always happy and sweet 24/7, but ofc it can be sweet and it can be pure even with the little things <33 they just need to work on it.
hmmm tbhhhh… suna and yn are toxic in a way that they refuse to let each other go when they clearly can’t meet halfway. toxic doesn’t have to be limited in just being mari-like in which they are possessive or manipulative, because then if we’d drive deeper into yn’s personality, then she’d be stringing suna all along and that’s unfair of her. she knows suna wants more and yet she remained being friends with him, which totally isn’t a bad thing, but it’s because she keeps flirting with him and is so romantically comfortable with him that she doesn’t realize it’s hurting suna because he’ll give double meanings to that. their relationship is ‘toxic’ because they’re not entirely good for each other, they’re not that ready to be with one another yet and neither is the world letting them be in peace, so forcing their relationship to a point they’re hurting another is the toxic part.
[ from @kyriaan ]
Ah also not me feeling all proud and mushy cause my analysis made you mind blown fjfbdnsjdkpa 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I guess its also because i see this story as a really big mirror of my own toxic relationship sonits extremely easy for me to get it... And oh boy the way i kin suna here
But dhdhfjdospdhfbsoa 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i feel happy now *huggles*
[ from saeren ]
and aah yes ofc, I’m really happy whenever someone can see the underlying details I scatter throughout the story !! yeah omg same hahahaha broken records is also half inspired by the toxic people I’ve met. I kin kita here tho and I’m so glad you’re happier now !!
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Survey #449-450
(both from yesterday)
What do you dislike about the house you live in? It's in the suburbs. Have you thought more about your funeral, or your wedding? My hypothetical wedding. Dinosaurs or unicorns? DINO BOIZ. What do you think of Maroon 5? I like some of their old stuff, and one or two of their newer songs, like "Payphone." What about Coldplay? I enjoy them. Fall Out Boy? Love 'em. Katy Perry? She's okay, I guess. There are a few songs I enjoy. Have you ever snuck into an R-rated movie when you weren’t old enough to see it without parents? No. What is your favorite Disney show? I don't have the slightest clue what's on Disney nowadays. What do you miss most about elementary school? Digging tunnels in the sandbox during recess with my friends. :'( When was the last time you saw the person you had your first kiss with? The start of February 2017. Hard to believe it's been four whole years... Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? Ha, yes. Mom got me a little sign that says, "If I can't wear my flipflops, I'm not going," lmfao. All I wear are flipflops. What's your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I LITERALLY couldn't care less. I wear pjs in public sometimes; it really depends on where I'm going. What was the most severe punishment your parents gave you when you were growing up? Taking away technology was the worst. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? Mom goes to a few different ones, depending on proximity and price. Have you ever owned any pet birds? What kinds/colours? I have not. I used to want a cockatiel for a long time, though. Do you pay much attention to your YouTube recommendations? If so, what was the last video that caught your attention? Kinda, I guess. I'm not sure what was the last recommended video I clicked. What has been the happiest time of your life so far? It's complicated. Most of my best memories are from high school with Jason, yet at the same time I was HORRIBLY depressed. I think my most pure happiness when I was really progressing with recovery. Moving on from him, losing tons of weight, feeling motivated... Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity? Who? My two biggest celebrity crushes ever have been/is Link Neal and Mark Fischbach. Do you have any fears you would rarely admit to anyone? Nah. Admitting fears isn't a big deal to me at all. What website do you spend most of your time on? YouTube. What did you have for dinner last night? A chicken sandwich. What could you talk about for hours? Meerkats, Silent Hill, Mark... Do you have a lamp beside your bed? Yes. What's your favorite ice cream topping? Chocolate syrup. What was the last TV show you binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender. Would you rather eat burgers or tacos? Oh, burgers for sure. I don't likes tacos. Did your mother change her maiden name when/if she got marred? Yes. Do you use TikTok? Nope. Are you closer to your mother or father? Mom. Do you own any costumes? No. Would you care if your SO went to a strip club? Hm. So long as they're not laying hands on any of the strippers and they ASKED me first, I don't think I'd care? I'm pretty sure I'd also only be okay with that if we were a long-term couple where very strong trust has been built. How helpful are your parents to you? Would they help you to pay for your first apartment? College? Where does the line end? They are so, so very helpful and I'm pretty sure would go to the ends of the earth to help me in any way they could. I know they WOULD help pay for the things you mentioned, but it's not something I want them to do. I want to be able to financially provide for myself, one day... Have you ever had to evacuate due to natural disaster? No. What video games did you have when you were growing up? LOADS. I looooooooved video games. What was the first election you ever voted in? This last one, actually. Can you hear anything right now? Yeah. I'm watching Gab play the Resident Evil 3 remake on hardcore mode. What's the coolest, most unusual pet you can think of? I've always thought sugar gliders were quite interesting as pets. I wanted one for a looong time, but I am not informed on how well they do in captivity and if it should even be legal for me to truly want one anymore. Have you ever seen a UFO or other weird object in the sky? By definition, it was a UFO. Sometimes I do even wonder if it was an alien spacecraft, given JUST how strange that shit was. I won't explain it again, just 'cuz I've done it in many surveys before. Are there any albums you know every single lyric to? I could probably nail Ozzy's Black Rain. What's your go-to painkiller? Advil. Does your mom have a celebrity look-alike? No, but there's a celebrity with her exact name. Do you think it’s pretty when 100s of balloons are let loose into the sky? NO NO NO NO NO that shit is SO upsetting. Where do you think they end up??? It's littering. Animals get choked and tangled by them all the time. What do you draw more than anything else? Definitely meerkats. Have you ever visited someone in a psychiatric home or ward? No, but people have visited me in one. Have you ever received a parking fine? No. Are you in any group chats? Who's in them? No. Do you have a lisp? No. Do you have an Instagram account? Do you use it often? I have three, but one's pretty much dead. I don't post stuff regularly on my other two either, really... Can you parallel park? I would absolutely hit another car. Have you ever played paintball? Did you get hit? No, that shit's dumb. You can get really hurt. What was your favorite fairy tale when you were a kid? Maybe Little Red Riding Hood? Are your parents still together? If not, do you know why? No. Mostly financial disagreements, but I know there's stuff I don't know. Have you ever been evicted? Why? Yes, because we couldn't keep up with rent. Have you ever worked as a manager or supervisor? Noooo. What was the last thing you voted for? So Snake Discovery (a reptile channel I love) hosted an enclosure build-off recently, and the winners were selected by fans via voting. The guy I voted for got 3rd. What's the most amazing animal you've ever seen in captivity? I've been very close to an elephant at a zoo once. They're magnificent. Having been to Sea World as a kid (I would NEVER go now), I also saw the killer whale show. As much of a spectacle as it was, it was animal abuse regardless. Do you like white chocolate? It's okay in small doses. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. Do you talk to your pets? Um, duh. Have you ever adopted a stray? (Cat or dog?) Cats, yes. Do you read about any mythology? (Greek, Roman, Norse, Egyptian, etc) No, not by my own will. I DO love mythology, I just... don't read it. Do you ever use bath bombs? No. Have you ever gotten angry at an employee and complained to the manager? No. Have you ever sent your food back at a restaurant? Yes, because they got my meal wrong. I was REALLY shy to do it, but I made sure to do it politely and apologetically. Do you sleep in a bra? What mad lad sleeps in a bra???????????? Has your ex ever gone out with someone close to you? No. Can you suggest someone funny on YouTube? I'll go for someone what isn't my obvious vote, ha ha. There are truly so many, but Garrett Watts is high on the list. Elena Bateman, too. Can you do a handstand? No. Has anyone close to you ever been suicidal? Yes. Have you ever broken someone's heart and didn't care? Tyler sure acted like I did, and to be entirely frank, I didn't care very much, but only because it was a HUGE overreaction and I knew he'd be fine quick. What color is your hairbrush? It's just a white comb. Who was your most recent call from? My psychiatrist. Have you ever watched someone die? Only animals... It's the absolute worst. Are you currently "seeing" someone? No. Are you friends with someone who's autistic? I might be, but I know my niece is on the spectrum. Do you like humans? To be entirely transparent... I think I wish humans were never a thing. We've done so, so much harm to the planet, some things irrevocable. Earth would be a much healthier, far more peaceful place if we'd never existed. Do you like pandas? I love pandas. P.S., fuck outta here if you're one of the people who don't support conservation efforts for them. That shit blows my mind. What do you think of Evanescence? They're great. Amy's voice is absolutely incredible. I don't even think that's an opinion, but global fact, ha ha. What do you think of Avenged Sevenfold? I like some of their stuff. I haven't heard a whole lot though, honestly. What do you think of Halestorm? ^ Do you think you are attractive? God no. I don't see me as an attractive person at all. Do you like dinosaurs? I love 'em; I was OBSESSED as a kid, and my first aspired job was a paleontologist. Do you like lasagna? No. Do you share a room? No. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never, actually. Have you ever been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks? I think my longest was three. What can you do that none of your friends can do? I dunno. Why did you last go to the airport? Mom and I were dropping Sara off so she could go home. Who was the last person to see you in your underwear? My mom. Who’s the most attractive female you’ve ever seen? Maybe Alissa White-Gluz from Arch Enemy? Or my friend Alon. I'm certain there's more, because women are just so fuckin beautiful asdkfajlwejkrjqwe Red, white, yellow, or pink roses? I actually like the original, rich red. Do you think someone would ever want to marry you? Well, two people have, but one absolutely doesn't anymore and the other knows that it's not healthy or emotionally safe for either of us to imagine that at this time. I don't know if anyone ever will again. Do you like Thanksgiving? No. Like I enjoy the focus on thankfulness, but the history isn't right and I don't enjoy the food. Do you ever wear colored eye liner? No. Have you ever used a darkroom? No. Have you ever been "popular"? No. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Yes. Have you ever been told that you dress like a slut? No, not that how someone dresses has any relevance to their sexual activity. What’s your most recent obsession? Final Fantasy X jfccccccc. Video games or board games? The former. Are you scared of tarantulas? As much as I talk about them... you can probably tell I have a massive interest in them, ha ha. However, even though I love them, they're still sorta scary. Like, threat poses are no joke. And it's terrifying on the very rare occasion they hiss. During Covid, do you wear a mask or no mask? I'm fully vaccinated, and yet I still wear a mask because I'm a considerate human fucking being. Do you have a PlayStation 4? No, but I reeeeaaally want one. :/ Have you ever played Fortnite? Nah, not my type of game. Do you like anime? Yeah. Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah. I was always SO excited as a kid when Dad would take the boat out for a fishing trip. Have you ever played Kingdom Hearts? I've played some of it with Jason. I wasn't a fan of it. Have you ever built a snowman? Yes. DC or Marvel? I don't really have a preference.
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Do you prefer your nails long or short? Why? Short, because I can't keep my nails long for the life of me. I pick/peel my nails badly. Do you have any vinyl records? No. Are you still in touch with your best friend from high school? No. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? It's extremely fascinating. Would you have a big cat (like a tiger) for a pet if you could? No. I could never provide the environment they need, and it's simply not safe. They are not domestic animals, and even the ones that seem most tame can surprise you. What are your favorite smells? Cinnamon rolls, coffee, lilac, fresh baked bread, barbecue, etc. Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? I'm not sure, actually... What is your favorite thing to do on The Sims? Surveys have a lot of questions about those games... I only ever played the ones that focused on animals, and I think I most enjoyed breeding them and naming the bbz. :^) And watching their behavior. Which hair color you've had has been your favorite? Red. If you were stupid-rich, would you ever actually want a mansion? No. I do not need all that room, nor am I wasting my money on such excessive space. What drinking games have you played? None. Do you take lessons for anything? No. Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? No. If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? Only black. Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? Curtains. If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? One is a snake and the other is a cat, so. Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? No. Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? Nothing besides what you mentioned. Are you lonely? I'm way too lonely for it to be healthy. Do you like pineapple? Yep. Have you ever seen fireflies? Yes; they're endemic to here. Have you ever trespassed? As a kid, yes. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did sometimes. Are you afraid of heights? Yes. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? No. Have you ever written a poem? I've written a lot. Would you ever be a tornado chaser? FUCK TO THE HELL NO. What is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? I hate bbq sauce. Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? No. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No. Ever thought about writing a book? Yes. Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? Yes. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? Nope. Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? No, only the first one with Tyler. It was aight. Have you ever had a black eye? No. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven't seen a picture of Jason in years, and I don't want to. Not because I care about how he looks now, it'd just be extremely triggering to see his face. I still find Sara gorgeous. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. How often does your employer ask you to work overtime? N/A When was the last time you were scared? Ummmm I really can't say I know. What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? "Disturbia" is where it's AT. There's this synthwave edit of it that I positively adore. Can you speak binary? No. Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? A family pet, yes. Do you like boys with long hair? UGH yes. Do you like root beer? Not really, no. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really. Do you ever dream of yourself dying? That's not all that rare in my nightmares. What song always makes you sad? I think two songs are tied for what makes me most sad: "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin and "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White. Were you mean as a little kid? No; I was a sweet kid. Have you ever tried spam? No, it looks SO gross to me. How fast can you run? This is pathetic, but I don't think I CAN run. My knees are too weak. I think my weight coming down on them would just make me crumple over. Have you ever bought something from Spencer's? Yeah. Have you ever been on a diet? I've tried diets many times. Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Dark. When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I almost always just listen. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah. Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? Jason. I miss his memory every day. I say "memory" because it's been years, and I have no way of knowing who he is today. How many cars are parked at your house right now? One. Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak? No. Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found? Not personally. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings with extremely hot sauce at Buffalo Wild Wings. Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? Um yeah, no. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? No. I don't like sprinkles in general. Do you know how to do the moon walk? No. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yes, somehow. Onion rings or french fries? French fries, for sure. Who is the best cook that you know? Dunno. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was a kid. I don't remember the age, but I was old enough to decide myself that I wanted them pierced. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They have their own places now. Do you like fried rice? Yessss. Are there any animals you refuse to touch? Some bugs. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? I don't believe so, no. What makes you feel lucky? That I have the family I do. What is something nice going on in your life right now? Just the gym-going, really... Who’s the worst person you’ve encountered on the Internet? An old friend I just knew as Shakes. If death wasn’t a consequence, what would you try? Maybe sky-diving, idk. Has a teacher ever told you off? No. Have you ever told off a teacher? No. Do/did you take school seriously or not? I certainly did. How do you usually cope with breakups? Not well. I obsess over how something's wrong with me and I'm not good enough for anyone. Disney princess or Disney animal movies? Animals, for sure. What's your favorite Katy Perry song? It's evading me right now... Have you ever made/tried friendship bread!? Omg, I forgot that was a thing! I actually have. I've completely forgotten the gist of it or even how it tastes, but I remember I loved it. What do you want to know about the future? If I'll ever be content and happy. What's your biggest insecurity? My weight. Ever found something disgusting in your food while eating out? No, thank god. Does the area where you live have a good or bad reputation? A very bad one. Are there any holidays that you don't celebrate? Yeah, like St. Patrick's Day, among some others. If you could find out who you're gonna marry right now, would you? Yes. Save myself time and heartbreak. How important is it to you that your partner has the same religious views? I wouldn't date someone very religious. If they're more tame about it, that's fine, but I'd prefer to not date a religious individual. Do you own a Wii? Yeah. I've kinda been wanting to play Guitar Hero or Rock Band lately on it... Do you like a lot of cheese on your pizza? "A regular, reasonable amount of cheese." <<<< This. I really don't like when things are so cheesy that it leaves a ridiculous trail when you try to separate pieces. Have you ever been made fun of because of your sexuality? Not directly to my face, but I can guarantee people I know had certain ~opinions~ on it when I came out. I also like just came out as pansexual versus bi, and I'm not even telling a lot of people in my personal life because I know they'll find the concept absolutely ridiculous. What would you do if you found an abandoned animal? "Depends on what type of an animal it was, and whether it was friendly or skittish." <<<< This. I'm obviously not going to try to usher a rabid dog over to me (I'd call a rescue or something if the animal appeared potentially dangerous), but if the animal appeared safe, my heart would absolutely lead me to try and get the animal to come to me so I could take it home and try to find the owner. Have you ever kissed someone who had a tongue piercing? No. What singer/band do you think deserves to be more famous than they are? Jonathan Young from YouTube. He is INCREDIBLE. He deserves to be picked up by a label so badly. What is your favorite PlayStation 1 game? The original Silent Hill, no competition. Do you think objectum sexuals are real, or attention seekers? I really can't imagine someone pretending to want to fuck their car for attention. I don't get it AT ALL, and it's weird as shit to me, but I mean, I don't think people can control what they're attracted to. How far out of your age bracket would you date? 21-early 30s, probs. Have you ever had an STD? No. Have you ever tried pho? No. Pick one: Crash Bandicoot or Spyro? Spyro!!!! I have the original trilogies of both series, but Spyro is where it's AT. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? I'm unemployed, but I wouldn't work at a job that didn't, honestly. If you could dye your hair any color right now with absolutely no restrictions, what color would you dye it? Maybe like a galaxy-esque mixture of layered colors. I've wanted that for YEARS. Have you ever known a white supremacist? This region is swimming in them. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Do ladders scare you? Climbing them does, yes. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Yeah. Have you ever thrown up on anybody? Unless I did unknowingly as a baby, no. How many people have you turned down when they asked you out? Uhhh two or three, maybe? What is your favourite kind of fruit cobbler? I actually haven't tried enough to have an educated favorite, but I can say I love peach. Do you hear any other people talking right now? I'm watching a let's player play Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, so I hear her, obviously. When was the last time you started a new medication? It's been a while, idk. What is your favourite type of nut? Cashews, I guess. I don't really like nuts, but I definitely like cashew bars. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? ... Domino's lmaoooo. Did you ever watch The Rugrats when you were a kid? Yeah, I loved that show. I even had two video games. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yes. Can you name all 50 US state capital cities? No. Can you tie balloons? I can't, actually. Have you had a deep conversation with anyone today? Yeah. I wanted Sara's advice on something I'm dealing with. On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day? One of my sisters' was yesterday, actually. What did you/are you having for dinner tonight? I had Special K cereal. Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating. Strawberries, apples, bananas, (sometimes) broccoli, other things that aren't coming to me. Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? My friend Girt. What flavor was the last cupcake you ate? The cupcake itself was chocolate, and the icing was uhhhh... blue? Apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight? I haven't done anything of note. I'm probably going to bed soon. What’s the age difference between your parents? Two years, I think. When was the last time you ate an apple? Today. I have been on a big sliced apples w/ peanut butter kick lately. Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? I have soda every day. :x Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? Mom brought me a Reese's home today when she went out with a friend. How many different towns/cities have you lived in? Three. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone special? Poems, yes. Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Not very much physically. Emotionally... I don't know. Do you have any ice cream in your freezer? What flavor is it? No. Ice cream is my #1 comfort food, so that's a big "keep out of the house."
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Hey if u had time can you make thread about quotes that he said about women
Thank you for the request, here are some gems💎✨ I found on my expedition:
1) The highlight:
2) A call for Ireland to legalize abortion:
3) The dark lyrics in "Mirrors":
It was kind of like having to try and make friends and not being happy within yourself. It wasn't a personal experience of mine, it was something that I'd made up, but I know it resonates to a lot of young girls out there and just people in general that are struggling with that kind of thing - you go back to your room, and you're hiding yourself from the world because you don't want them to see the real you, which again, shouldn't be the case.
4) A few tweets as an avid supporter of female artists in music:
A little hello to miss Adele:
Oh I love ADELE, she is a dream. She’s just an unbelievable talent and what she’s done for British music around the world – she’s just incredible.
Thoughts on fans' loyalty towards Demi Lovato:
I think people love watching real people do good. I think it’s just simple as that. She’s a lovely girl. She’s been very honest about what she’s been through and it takes a brave young woman to do that and obviously her songs are insane, she’s got an incredible voice and she’s been at it for a very long time. She knows what she’s doing.
"OHH! I am a really big fan of Dua Lipa.":
She's been around in the industry for a long time getting this first album right. I met her years ago when she was writing and stuff like that. She's been giving it a go for a while and I'm so happy she got it right, coz, it's one of my favorite albums of the year. I was actually on a vacation in Ibiza in the summer and she was playing at the Ibiza Rocks and I went to watch one of her show. She's an incredible artist and a great voice and I think she's gonna be huge.
5) A token of appreciation for rising star Saoirse Ronan:
6) An agreement with Loose Women on mental health awareness:
7) An AOC stan tweet:
8) Shoutout to the women in 1D crew:
9) A lashing for the trolls:
10) A disapproval for the paparazzi:
The quicker that happens (paparazzi realize a celebrity is a person too and they have to be nice to them) the better, 'cuz it’s been going on for way too long, especially for women like.. its an absolute disgrace. Usually, if I’m getting papped.. I go to the lads, I give them like 6 seconds, I just go ‘lads have a great day, see you later’ and let them move on. But there’s a different culture for women apparently, where it’s a little a lot more aggressive.. WHERE DOES COMMON DECENCY COME IN? And then their answer is ‘Well I’ve got a job to do’.. your job is to be an absolute pervert?
11) Cheers for the female atheletes of our generation:
A recognition of power:
Young women drive culture. You see their power everywhere. I’ve always said that if you can get women to play golf, then the sport will take off like never before. It’s like a sleeping giant.
First European golf tournament of its kind:
We have created the opportunity for women to perform on the same stage as men and compete for the same prize fund.
A declaration:
Yeah, I am a feminist. Rightly so. It's huge having equal prize money today. It's a must. I can't believe it's 2019 and we are still talking about it but, we are. But I think this is the start of it. I really do think that. Everyone is saying 'grow the game'. This is the way to do it. Get young females into playing the game and just trying it out. They've got such a say on the world. I have a large female following and while I'm no superman, I will try and get young girls to play golf - then the whole game will grow and the sport will grow in general.
The future of golf:
I met this girl in the street in Los Angeles a few weeks ago and she started playing golf seven or eight years ago after seeing me play it and now she’s in the junior team at the University of Southern California. She’s going to be in one of the top college teams in the country! If I can have a small percentage of my following say that to me then golf is in good shape.
The importance of the women’s game is huge. If you grow the women’s game, you grow golf, as far as I’m concerned. There’s so much talent out there. I watch college golf on a weekly basis, I was at the Augusta National Women’s Amateur and you can see the talent that just doesn’t always get seen on TV. That’s what we need to change, if we can get girls on TV more and doing stuff with sponsors like Charley Hull with ISPS Handa, that’s how you grow the game. Hopefully when we get to Galgorm Castle in August, we can bring more females through the gates as well.
12) A wish-list, an ode & a shy revelation:
..hope you like these! 😋
#niall horan#niall#long post#jun'20#there's of course a lot more that i have missed but everyone feel free to reblog additions to the post🤗
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(for the character thing) Foggy
Ah yes this pleases me
Why I like them? Really funny, absolutely solid rock for Matt, won't take any of his shit
Why I don't like them? Both in the comics and the TV show, I don't like the ways in which he often treats Matt with an ableist mindset. Obviously I'm okay with this if the narrative addresses that Foggy is also being a dick, but it often doesn't.
There's also aspects of Netflix Foggy that I don't like that they changed: namely, I like that in the comics, Foggy comes from a wealthy family. He has problems, sure, but I like that in the comics, its that Foggy comes from an entirely different worldview, one of privilege, and he can't understand Matt. He doesn't get it, but he tries to, and I think there's value in that. There's value in Matt and Foggy initially hating each other and working through that and coming to an understanding, and that is gone in the Netflix show.
Favorite episode/scene if movie? Okay I'm counting comics here, but in the Waid run there's a nice bit where Foggy, while undergoing cancer treatment, helps watch some other kids undergoing cancer treatment too, and its just a really sweet bit. The kids are drawing pictures of superheroes fighting their disease and Foggy initially panics over it before the doctor says the kids don't actually think that, but it gives them hope, and its just really heartwarming
Favorite season/movie? Dunno if this counts, cuz comics, but I liked Foggy being in Punisher Kill Krew. He is the funnyman for the group, kills a frost giant, gets a sword, and we see the similar dynamic of Foggy not fully being able to understand the vigilante worldview except this time with Frank Castle. Its a five issue miniseries, so it doesn't drag on forever, which is also nice.
Favorite line? I can't really think of any off the top of my head, since most of my comics are in my college town, and all of the quotes are from the MCU (grrr). Its in the Mysterious Masked Matador, at the end, when Matt accuses Foggy of being jealous of Daredevil. The quote "Aww, I'd never be jealous of him! I'll bet he wears a mask because he's ugly as sin underneath it!"
Favorite outfit? Idk he's got so many good ones. I think I'm partial to the various green suits he has. Its good character design that such an unusual suit color got carried from the 60's to today, and its so cohesive.
OTP: outside of celebrating Matt and Foggy together in all forms? I think Elektra, at the very least, has the potential to be interesting. A lot of the problems with Matt and Foggy involve Matt deceiving Foggy, which wouldn't really happen with Elektra. Foggy and Karen is also a classic, but idk because my thoughts on Karen are mixed.
BROTP:again, excluding celebrating Matt and Foggy together in all forms? Frank Castle and Foggy. Simply because you still have that honesty coming forward, but Foggy also understands Frank even less than Matt. Punisher Kill Krew was really good, and I'd like to see more of that dynamic.
Headcannon?
BI👏FOGGY👏
Unpopular opinion? I guess the whole I prefer Foggy's origins in the comics than tv show.
A wish? We get, at some point, space lawyer Foggy, going from planet to planet, learning the legal codes.
An oh God please don't ever happen? Foggy dying. Also canon getting into Foggy becoming an alchoholic, not because I think the idea is without merit (esp for MCU Foggy) but because I know the writers would fuck it up.
Five words to describe them? Workaholic, everyman, sensible, quick witted
My nickname for them? Dunno how much if it is my nickname, but I know when I'm writing dialouge where people refer to Foggy, I refer to him as Fogs a lot.
Thanks for the ask!
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4, 9, 21, 30, 48, 68
SO MANY ASKS, MY BOREDOM RECEDES
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
ugh. I was the super smart but smelly kid, basically. I got placed in a GT core program in 4th grade (gifted and talented) and even there I was immediately shuffled to the second to last rung on the social ladder, I was the most normal one of the kids who ate erasers and were obviously autistic. Like also, I guess I was described as “an old soul” and “rude” because I used bad words. Before the GT program I was a bookworm and before that I was “extremely shy” but in 2nd grade I woke up one morning and was suddenly obnoxious. I suspect that my teachers didn’t know what the hell to do with me most of the time, but I always got really good grades despite refusing to do a lot of homework so it was kind of hard to crack my nut, I guess. One time in fifth grade I was called “tactless”.
9. favorite smell in the summer?
Honeysuckle on a warm clear night.
The town I moved to when I was seven years old has a big festival every year with craft booths and outdoor concerts and lots of food and carnival stuff and they have fireworks! It was within walking distance of our house, so every summer we’d walk there in the afternoon and spend a couple evenings there. This was how I saw Carbonleaf for free about a month before they made it really big! Anyway, here is the memory:
Walking home at night, sticky leather sandals on my feet. My friend met up with me while at the festival and she peels off to get to her neighborhood a few blocks along. My mom and dad are meandering about half a block ahead of me. I have a cracked glowstick around my neck, it’s a soft green and pink. The firework smoke has mostly cleared and the nearly full moon washes the dark streets with enough light to navigate without the flashlight my mom had tucked in her purse. The streets on this block don’t have sidewalks so we have to be careful, but everyone is walking home around this time so it’s not too dangerous. The breeze passes through and any lingering smoke is blown away, replaced with a floral waft. I don’t understand what it is until I bump into my parents who have stopped. My dad is picking at a bush that’s grown over a chainlink fence. “What are you doing?”
“Eating honeysuckle,” my dad responds. I make an incredulous noise. “You can eat it, see? You pick a flower, like this, without any leaves on the bottom, and then pinch off the bottom. The stamen will come through and pull the nectar down... Then you suck it like the bottom of an ice cream cone. It’s sweet. Here, try it.”
After I try one and mangle it, my dad prepares one for me. I’m surprised. I’d only eaten pansies before, and those tasted like mint and parsley had a baby, not sweet at all. “Can you eat the petals?”
“Yeah, but they don’t taste like anything. Here, you want more?”
“I can do it this time.”
“Okay, be careful though, don’t pick any too low down, dogs can pee on it.”
“Ew, Dad!”
At this point my mother chides us on back home, but I pulled off a big tendril to pick at the rest of the way.
21. obsession from childhood?
When I was little I was terrified of most things, but a big thing that really freaked me out was clowns and also people in mascot costumes. As an adult I have made some uh... progress on this (am I a furry? am I a clownfucker? I not NOT those things...) but anyway in an attempt to get me to maintain my chill if I accidentally found a clown or mascot at one of a million children friendly places where such characters appear without warning (the zoo, a baseball game, the mommy and daughter beauty pageant my mom idiotically signed us up for when I was like, three... every halloween ever... the library...) they rented this movie that was like, a behind the scenes clown circus documentary.
I have spent a solid 20 minutes trying to look it up just now and it is ungoogleable because of all the trendy murderous clown bullshit these days, thanks a lot stephen king, but anyway. My older brother had to watch it with me the first time but it was like... the clown showed how he went from just a guy through every step of putting on the makeup and costume, and some juggling stuff and some other tricks, and what makes a funny physical joke, and some other circus things... And then he took off the clown outfit and became a regular guy again. I WAS OBSESSED. Apparently, I requested we rent this movie from blockbuster EVERY TIME for MONTHS to the point where blockbuster offered to sell us the VHS. I still remained scared of clowns for years after this but it helped me out a lot and also it’s connected to my whole thing about practical effects. I also watched the jim hensons secrets of the muppets thing about twenty bajillion times, it all exists in the same space in my brain.
30. places that you find sacred?
Gazebos and thresholds, mostly. Also I once had a religious experience staring at a Van Gogh in the National Gallery of London. It was Wheatfield with Crows. I don’t think I saw god, because I dont particularly believe in god much, but I do feel like... some part of me cracked open and was able to connect with some part of a person who had painted it a hundred years ago. I only learned that it was possibly the last thing he ever painted like, a year later. I was in London visiting a friend who had moved there a year before, we were in our senior year of high school, I was 17 and applying to art schools at the time, so maybe it was just a thing about, like, the right time and mental space for it, but also... me and Vincent are like... yeah. This is what I hope I see when I die, etc.
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
I hope that I would be an apricot but that’s just cuz I really like them. Maybe I am a coconut, hairy on the outside and a hard nut to crack.
When I started to grow boobs, my mom told me a funny story about how in college she walked in on her roommate standing in front of the mirror in just her underwear, cupping her breasts. And when my mom was like “uh... what are you... doing?” her roommate was like “sigh... do you think I have oranges? Or are they more like tangerines... I wish I had grapefruits like you!” and from then on the citrus system of breast classification was set. Hippies, amirite?
Anyway my boobs kept growing and growing and growing. I am currently a K cup??? But anyway one day as a teenager I was in the grocery store and they had these fruits that were EVEN BIGGER than a grapefruit. They were pale green and smelled really nice! And when we sliced it open it had SO MUCH PITH, but the fruit inside was a pretty pink... It’s a pomelo! The precursor to grapefruits. My breasts are now bigger than even pomelos, but whenever I see them in the market I’m like “my boob fruit!”
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
I try my best to taste foods I’ve disliked over and over again throughout the years to get myself to become okay with them because I find the enjoyment of food to be vitally important to my willingness to continue existing. But one thing I will NEVER force myself to eat again is natto. I tried it about four different times, once the cheap conbini kind, once at an extremely swanky japanese hotel breakfast, one in a really nice sustainable sushi restaurant with my favorite fish mackerel, once from a friend’s fridge, and UGH, every time, I just wanna spit it back out immediately. Sorry, fam.
In terms of things that come in different flavors I think the grossest soda is the grapefuit favorito which is like drinking bubbly soap.
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Previously On Supernatural Season 3, we had a really rock solid trio of episodes to kick us off right, so what does SPN do next? It’s gonna lay the groundwork for some spicy character development that may or may not pay off by the end of the season. Let's find out!
To be honest, I felt the next three episodes just sort of plateau? There’s enough nuggets in these three eps - “Sin City”, “Bedtime Stories”, and “Red Sky at Morning” - that it does feel like they’re setting up for something big but it’s taking too much time. If the season had been longer, I don’t know that I’d be complaining, because there’s SO much potential introduced with these character developments, but I know it’s gonna get cut off at the knees in the very near future. 2021 Me has been trained on what to expect from a short season, so half of my brain wants to give the show slack for Unexpected Circumstances, but the other half of my brain is shouting YOUR NOT DRIVING THE BUS FAST ENOUGH, YOU’LL NEVER MAKE IT TO THE END OF THE LINE IN TIME!!!
And that’s maybe unfair because there really are some great nuggets in here. We’ve got “Sin City”, which is Dean’s episode. I mean, they’re ALL Dean’s episode, but this one more so than the other two in this post. Dean gets trapped with a demon who turns out to be...kinda...nice? In kind of a Stockholm Syndromey way I guess? She let’s Dean in on the fate that awaits him when his year long contract is up and it is NOT great. This isn’t the first time we see that there’s more to the demons than SPN has shown us in the past (hello, Ruby), but it is the first time Dean chills out enough to actually have a conversation with one. Dean doesn’t really get it, like he’s still not interested in getting out of his deal, but the fear gets planted, it just needs some time to grow. Oh, also, the Colt Ex Machina is back in action, so that's important.
This dumb bitch thinks he can fool us with that devil-may-care side glance but he caaaan't
But then we get “Bedtime Stories”, the Sam episode, where Sam learns...to let go? That’s the point of this episode right? It’s about letting go of someone before that person becomes too toxic and dangerous? At least, that’s the lesson that Dean wants Sam to take away from this case. But Sam will NOT learn this lesson, so instead he tries to cancel Dean’s deal by killing the crossroads demon who wrote it. Spoiler Alert: it doesn't work.
And then we get “Red Sky At Morning”, which opens and closes with some heavy emotional baggage, but then is stuffed full of fun. Like, this episode ricochets wildly in terms of Feelings, but then that’s probably what we should expect from SPN. I mean, what show have I been watching for 3 seasons now?
Fun Facts guys: I’m a tired Millenial, and swapping DVD discs was too much work so I switched over to watching this season on Netflix and GUESS WHAT???? THESE EPISODES COME WITH A SUICIDE WARNING!?!?!
They're not wrong.
And like, if that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about this season I don’t know WHAT will. Cuz Dean is absolutely suicidal and I am surprised (??) I guess (???) by how much the show acknowledges that. Or I guess, surprised by how much Netflix acknowledges that. It’s something that I did not...pick up on the first go around on season 3, possibly because I was 19 and I was an idiot and found this sort of emotional vulnerability to be endearing. Listen, I know there’s a lot to be said about the producers of the show making...umm…poor decisions in regards to character developments? But if the target demographic of this show was anything like me - and I suspect they were - then the viewers were also...probably...responding inappropriately to some of those character developments. And here’s the thing - I’m looking at this from 12 years in the future, with 12 years worth of real life drama that makes the heavy handed melodrama of television feel...well, heavy handed. Maybe irresponsible? Certainly a little uncomfortable. Big Me is having A Time confronting Little Me’s taste in TV Characters. It’s one thing to have a kink, Little Me, it’s another thing to romanticize suicidal depression.
And hey, I can’t deny that the character development for Dean makes sense. I actually appreciate that the show is thinking through the world and the relationship dynamics that they’ve built and the toll that these misadventures are having on their main characters. These episodes all get bookended by Impala Fights where Sam keeps pushing Dean to give a shit about his own life and Dean responds with an inability to care. That’s just where he is right now, and I get that. We’re early in the season still. But how will the rest of the season handle this? I honestly can’t remember but I also don’t want this to be a throw-away issue that they use to remind us that Dean’s supposed to die at the end of the season. I’m prob gonna come back to this throughout the season because I ~just~want~this~show~to be~repsonsiblllllleeeeeeeeeeee.
Lol, I know, that’s a lot to ask from the CW.
ON TO MORE FUN THINGS!!
Sam is gettin’ reeeeeallll bitchy in these episodes and #1, I love it, Bitchy Sam 5Ever, but also #2, was this supposed to be the sign that Sam was going darkside? Like, he’s snarky, he’s angry, he’s not pulling any punches and that could just be him reacting to his brother’s situation but it could also be….you know...him...becoming slightly...evil? For instance in “Sin City”, he kills the two demons who kidnapped Dean without even thinking. On the one hand, this is the Winchester MO, they kill demons, that’s their job, but on the other hand, Dean is actively telling Sam to stop. Same deal in “Bed Time Stories” - Sam kills the crossroads demon in cold blood (or maybe viscera). Again, we could blame this on instinct - the Winchesters were brought up to do exactly this - but 1) Dean keeps telling Sam not to and 2) that’s not Sam. This show spent 2 seasons telling us that Sam is the Good Brother, the White Hat, the Touchy-Feely One. This is not the Touchy Feely Sam who reasons with ghosts and falls in love with werewolves. Like, everyone else sees it too, right? Also, he is usually very nice to everyone but he is a REAL BITCH to Gertrude in “Red Sky at Morning.” Like, come on, Sam, she just wants to have a nice time. She is OLD. You really think she’s got what it takes to climb that tree?
Honestly, how tall are this lady's heels?
I know that there was a plan for Sam to start Turning in this season before the show’s episode order got slashed due to the Writer’s Strike. And man, I really would have liked to have seen this play out. Like, first season Sam is the Innocent, right? He’s our stand in for the viewer in those first few episodes and then he’s revealed to be kind of the only thing that went right in the lives of both John and Dean, so Baby Must Be Protected at All Costs. The fact that John ultimately lets Sam go off to college and doesn’t contact him for the next four years says to me that on some level, John felt the need to preserve that innocence, that kind of untouched quality Sam has. Dean is very similar - whenever Sam gets too into the job, Dean calls him out on it. So in the second season when we find out that Sam might be evil, it’s a real punch in the gut, for Dean most of all. But then the show admittedly got bored with that storyline and it didn’t really go anywhere. So whereas Dean has personality in SPADES that fluctuates and changes and develops/maybe just gets more intense as the show goes on, Sam remains that kind of blank slate that the viewer can put their face on. Except now we’re in season three, and if you’ve bought into this show, then you’ve bought into it, so the audience doesn’t need a Blank Slate Sam anymore. And if you start with Sam the Innocent and then introduce the idea of Dark!Sam and then just leave that concept hanging, then isn’t this sort of like Checkov’s Evil Sam? If you introduce Evil Sam in the first act you really ought to deliver on Evil Sam by act three, right? Wouldn’t that have been A+ and Wild? Wouldn’t that have made Sam’s arc and emotional struggles over the previous seasons have more weight?
Will this be resolved in later seasons? Maybe. I’m gonna be honest, this is the last season I watched all the way through and seasons 4 through...like, 8 were real touch and go for me. I know that Sam ultimately is revealed to be a vessel for??? The devil??? And Dean is ultimately revealed to be a vessel for??? Michael??? And then the two of them???? Fight to the death???? Point is, season 5 got weird guys and I’m not there yet.
Back to more fun things! You know what guys?? I think I ship Dean and Bela. I’m...almost ashamed to admit it? Like, I remember Little Me watching this season and just dumping on Bela, I HATED her, but this time? I am 1,000% On Board This Ship. Like, there is an alternate universe somewhere where these two got a spinoff show that ran for 6 seasons and I watched EVERY episode. And then, like, 5 years after it ended, they rebooted it with Dean and Bela’s grown up daughter as the lead and the whole OG cast makes cameos over the three seasons it stays on the air and it’s amazing. I’d own both shows on DVD.
What I like about Bela this time around (and again, I am WILDLY surprised about this development), is that she can dish it just as hard as the Winchesters can. Like, every line Dean throws at her she holds up a mirror to say, “Oh yes, I know the Kettle is black, but what color are you, Pot?” and I’m just continually thrilled. She is also just as damaged as Dean is but somehow channeling it into a healthier way? Like, she’s true Chaotic Neutral, which is not necessarily healthy, it’s just healthier than Dean. Or maybe it’s just that she’s better at managing it. In either case, they are HOT MESSES and I love it. I just love it. I know I complained about shoehorned romances but Ackles and Lauren Cohan just totally crush it in every scene and when Dean walks down the stairs all She’s All That in “Red Sky at Morning”, I yelled at the screen OMG just BONE already!!!!! And then like, 5 seconds later, Bela literally says “We should really have angry sex,” and it was probably the most vindicating moment I’ve had on this ride so far.
I just think they're neat!
WHY did we cancel her? WHY?? I don’t want to believe it was the Wincest again, so I’m gonna pretend that it wasn’t, but it was definitely fans. According to Kripke, Bela gets the axe at the end of this season because of the fan hatred of her. Now, I’ve already admitted that I personally held a grudge, but good Lord, what was wrong with us, as a Fandom? To be fair to me (and all of us), would we have felt differently if we had not been introduced to Jo a mere season earlier?? I'm gonna say yes. Although I had misgivings about Jo the first episode we meet her, by the end of season 2 I was certainly on her side. Working through season 3, I am remembering that, when we were introduced to Bela, I was immediately FURIOUS because WTF, WHERE’S JO? SPN just introduced to her. They just settled on a love interest for Dean and the writer’s just got me on board with that. Now they’ve completely done away with both that character AND that dynamic and you want me to get on board this NEW thing? And be excited about it??? So I'm gonna blame the love-interest-whiplash, combined with the fact that Little Me related my own personal self more to Jo than to Bela, that made me hate Bela in the first place. When you look at how quickly the show abandoned one character to introduce another character, it makes sense why fans got mad, but I’m also mad that we continued to hate Bela when she turned out to be such an A+ Frenemy. It makes me want to shout at the writers through the time void COMMIT TO A FEMALE CHARACTER YOU JAGWEEDS.
What’s wild watching this show now is just how Male it was, especially considering its audience was already skewed heavily female by this point in the series. If you made this show today, I don’t know that you could do that. Today, there’s a real push for balanced, diverse casts in programming, especially in sci-fi/fantasy and young adult. I think if SPN had started in 2021, they would have introduced the Harvell’s or Bela up in season 1, and that introduction would have been much more intentional. The benefit of having a shorter episode count as the standard is that there’s less of the “throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks” approach. Looking at it from 2021, reading snippets of interviews from Kripke, that’s definitely what they’re doing with the side characters in these seasons and you can feel that in Jo and Bela. A shorter season means that the storytelling has to be tighter, it can’t wander, so every decision has to be a load-bearing decision. On the other hand, one of the down sides of having a shorter episode count is the exact same thing - less room to throw stuff, less room to experiment. Heck, Bobby was technically a character they threw at the wall and he didn’t just stick, he became a tentpole character of the series. The only side character that actually made it into the series finale even!
So how much room should we be giving our television programs? I think it depends on the show, honestly. I think you have to decide up front if you want space to experiment, or if you have one, tight, compact story line that’s gonna drive viewers from episode 1 right through the finale without giving them the chance to catch their breath. You have to make the decision, but that doesn’t mean we have to stop making one style of show in favor of the other. Just because we’re in the Age of Streaming doesn’t mean there isn’t room enough for both.
#Supernatural#Supernatural season 3#Supernatural rewatch#Sin City#Bedtime Stories#Red Sky at Morning#Sam Winchester#Dean Winchester#Bobby Singer#Bela Talbot#TV#TV history#TV format
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A Former #Spn Fan Came out of Retirement in Time for the Finale and has Some Thoughts a Couple Months Later
I was a part of the #Spn fandom years ago. I mean years ago. I started watching the show in the third season when I was just starting high school. It was something I had to watch in secret, hidden in the dark of my room at 1 am watching it on my crummy laptop because my family wouldn’t have approved of it. Supernatural, of all things, was the first show I watched of my own volition and not because it was one of the few things my family deemed acceptable. I would occasionally scroll through the Tumblrs of others (because I def was not allowed to have my own) during the peak of Superwholock fandom (I was into the “Super” and “lock” but never the “who” – don’t come for me, I’ve just never seen it).
I stayed with it until about season 8 or 9. I was in college and had other stuff to do with my life, I guess (little did I know there’s no escaping this fandom). I missed several years. In 2017, I thought to myself: gee, I should catch up on this show. I haven’t watched it in quite a while. So I made my husband sit down with me, and we had a leisurely binge up until the current season at the time. Once we were caught up, we stopped watching again, letting episodes accumulate on Netflix.
And here I am now. I’m nearly 30. And in the disaster that was 2020, I decided – “hey, why not fill the time stay-at-home orders have given me with Supernatural? Besides, the last batch of episodes will be airing soon, so maybe this is my chance to catch up.” Cuz why not, right? My passion for it had surely subsided, right? It was too silly. I was a grown-ass lady. I’d gone to graduate school and I’d gotten married and I had a family, and somehow, the show that meant so much to me as a teen was still on television. HOW?
And catch up I did, over several months. I caught up in time to watch the last 4 episodes live.
Yes, there were weak spots and instances of just plain bad writing/planning. Looking back, the whole Cas being evil thing? Mary Winchester coming back from the dead (vom)? Ketch and the Men of Letters plot? Yeah, I could have done without all that. And Chuck being god and becoming the final villain was a little convoluted and silly. However – HOWEVER –
Watching the show again and catching up in time to view the last few episodes live felt like going home. I had forgotten how much I loved this show. I had forgotten what a big part of my life it was – growing up lonely and unhappy, staying up late and sneaking Supernatural was one of the joys of my youth. I felt like a kid again. I had forgotten how Sam and Dean and Cas felt like my homies that I got to hang out with once a week. I realized I had matured out of being “too mature” for it and could appreciate it now for what it was, and it was so fun.
All that is to say I am actually sad and in something of a grieving process about it being over. I truly enjoyed it, and I felt a connection to the characters (and why not? I’ve spent half of my life with them). I say that to just point out how silly I find this: at nearly 30 I’m getting a kick out of a fandom for a show I broke up with several times. Maybe it’s the nostalgia? Who knows, but I’m having fun and no one can stop me.
It being over, albeit in a way I’ve predicted for years, hurt. There will be no more new adventures with the trio. No more bantering, no more brilliantly absurd episodes. It just feels sad. My only consolation is the wisdom of which episodes to skip in my future rewatches. And, with 300+ episodes, I’ve forgotten enough over the years that it’ll almost be like watching it again for the first time. Almost. Of course now, I know how it ends up.
The best part? I’m scrolling through awesome Supernatural memes that I haven’t seen since the Jonas Brothers were a big deal. The original fans have crawled out of the woodwork to analyze the show from our now adult perspective, and it’s ridiculous and fun.
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prompts
April 26th: Talk about special interests. Do you have special interests? If not do you wish you did? What do your special interests mean to you? What are your current special interests? What are your past special interests? idk like i know i sure have & have had Interests, some more of interest than others, and it's also like, oh yeah i guess the ways i held that interest / explored it pretty intently / extensively / at length didn't always seem to be the way other people always felt about things even if we shared the interest, but yknow, at the same time it doesn't necessarily seem as extensive or major as some of the aspects of defining a Special Interest(tm) can be, i haven't been too pressed about it, but of course it's like, i have my Things lol, i.e. yeah this thing is kind of My Thing....and then i can look back on Things like. well idk when i was really little and you're just gonna like Cool Stuff, i did have the thing of like, i like dinosaurs and did sorta casually collect dinosaur stuff, easy enough b/c they make that stuff for kids, memorized a bunch of dinosaur Names so that just being asked to recite a bunch was something i was known to be able to do, a big fan of a couple semi educational computer games we had, shoutout to 3d dinosaur adventure and this magic school bus dinosaur (and ocean) game, had pajamas ft dinosaurs, rip to when i had a sick metal lunchbox with dinosaurs on it and it just broke on like week 1 of first grade or whatever and i just had to go back to default lunchboxes. well and then but anyways but from then on it was like, well, i guess it's media time......read a shit ton all the time, was into some tv series / movies, played some pc / video games, there was stuff i'd be glad to revisit over and over, and yknow, as this went on it'd be like, well now when there's A Relatable Enough Character in something i also like just in general, that's a powerful combo, though sometimes it's like, yeah i like this thing enough even in the absence of any particular [and i extra go hard about this character] element, that's not Not at play as it's like "well and i guess i will think about this quant every day for years now lmfao," and i can sure always talk about stuff At Length too, which sure is not something other people are generally interested in, but if/when they are, it's like okay great, this is a great connection point then, b/c otherwise it's like, i generally don't know what to say about myself, didn't get much practice, did pick up a sense of like, well stuff is Wrong about myself and my life so i shouldn't share it and also i'm not picking up friends so it was generally accurate that no one was exactly interested lmao. small talk is really more of a barrier / test you can just potentially fail, yet anything more personal is Oversharing, but hey i would earnestly love to talk at length about This Thing, so great when other people are into that at all lol and then if we vibe it's like, obviously that's the sort of functional "small talk" route here lol to being able to be more familiar w/each other and talk more generally, even if yknow, wuh oh, i'm kind of cagey outside those Interests i will talk about in ways that's probably "too much" by most ppl's standards, worst of both worlds when it comes to forming relationships but oh well, it is what it is and i sure don't consider it a bad thing i have plenty to say about things i Want to talk about, and it sure doesn't impede on anyone else if i'm Not Talking about other shit.
also then it's like, "idk what it is when you just determinedly Pursue something that's maybe still not the hugest deal, but i don't really feel very pressed re: figuring it out" like, does it count like how i mentioned today i'd read bird guides for fun as a kid, and watch this bird documentary and be like "hey. check out this scene in this bird documentary with this bird mimicry" to friends i now realize were probably mostly bemused by this, and really liked birds just generally (still true), and thus have like, maybe more Bird Knowledge than the average random person but also am hardly some self taught ornithological expert. or how i'm big into linguistics and etymology and, in theory, language learning, always really latching on to the little i was taught in school, also perusing some Language Guides available, and like, not really self teaching a bit re: learning some of a couple languages, just learning via teaching resources outside of [directly through any academic institution], never took any language classes, sure have no fluency in fuckall.........how about that i just decided as a kid like "hm i want to be able to draw" b/c i felt that way (and yknow, still do in a way lol) about pretty much anything, but i just also liked doodling and took some art classes and it was always this casual thing and now i use this to make fanart for the Media Interests lol, and although this is all digital drawing and drawing was always my primary thing it's like, well okay also yeah there was like, some painting / pastels / sculpting other Visual Arts stuff, and then, like, i sure enjoyed dance classes and the Performing Arts aspect of that, theatre gay adjacent b/w that and choir lol, have regular dreams about being part of impromptu dance performances, including just last night, rip to the special thwarting of "oh no i'm going around trying to get food before the show, getting stuck in traffic or lost in stores, and i've missed my whole first appearance" lol. anxiety dreams never end........and idk, i've had a love for math stuff, physics stuff, space stuff, even felt that [!] for the little i was able to get into circuitry and coding, but yknow. learning that shit is kind of involved and i only had so much experience re: taking classes, also, unfortunately, i always hated school lmao, so it's just kind of there where i'm like oh i get Into this shit in the ways that other people who are definitely Into it feel about it lmao. but yeah, idk, i do have like. well here's this sort of stuff i think about Every Day, this sort of mental home base sometimes, that i don't get tired of and reexplore / reexperience pretty intensively, but at the same time like, sometimes i can just sort of have something be that Interest for a lot more of a temporary duration, and things that were that main shit is like, well Probably when i like it that much once i like it down the line even if i haven't been that focused on it in the meantime, more just latent, but then it's like, well, but probably could and would still talk So Much about it still even if it's not like, oh yeah i'm Into This(tm) right Now lol..........idk! but i sure get really into shit and like, if anyone else is interested in me talking at length / drawing about it, that's sure probably the most successful grounds for Connection lmao cuz yknow. even people who maybe share that interest aren't guaranteed to see that and go "yeah this is someone i'm interested in actually talking to though" like yeah here's your preview of my personality i guess lol
April 27th: What is your favourite form of media? For example, do you enjoy books? What format do you prefer for books (physical, e-book, audiobook)? Did you love reading as a kid but find it challenging as you got older? How about movies, tv, or video games? Do you have a favourite series? yeah i read all the time as a kid, on the bus, if i finished shit early at school, on the bus again, also at home plenty, not so much when i was in college when it's like oh i can just do kinda whatever now (also as people point out it's like. well gotta do all this reading for classes now so) and then it was like, i'll get into other Media i can freely experience at any time, and also hang out with people Some, which i can also just do whenever now, as opposed to at any point before this......still like reading but it can sure kind of be a Whole Thing, like i either can't focus and it's like well time to read like, a paragraph or page a day, or else i'm focusing Too Much really like, if i'm at all trying to see how something ends i might burn through it in a few days (still a fairly slow reader) which is like, do i want to spend multiple days on this One Thing, even if it takes me like, multiple times the runtime to watch a movie or something, that's still probably getting done in 1 day. plus that yeah, mostly reading new shit via laptop, which is kind of a pain as opposed to physical books or like, e readers in theory, i've never actually used one. the only time i used an audiobook was a few times as a kid to read along with longer books to sort of help with that momentum, such a hot minute ago that this was via Tape Cassette.....i do listen to podcasts though, great for like, doing Something Else at the same time, which i don't know that i could split up that focus and guaranteed successfully absorb a book, Maybe So but select podcasts are my Extensive Audio of choice. never really watched that much tv, there were some stuff me and my siblings might watch as it aired, but not really Narrative Series lol, never seen shit, haven't even really watched That many movies either, still don't Really even though it's like yeah w/e in Theory i enjoy these mediums it's like oh my godddd it's a whole thing to focus on one and then plus what if i don't like it but i've had to put in all that time to know i didn't like it lmao.......i can enjoy keeping up with a tv series like, oh boy once a week a half hour to hour installment, that's a great format truly, but i'm rarely getting that experience lmao like. with billions you could stand 2 weeks between episodes b/c whew but it's v Rare like oh thank god, a series with that weekly release........but otherwise it's like ugh do i wanna have alllll this material to watch, do i wanna go through the whole process of figuring out what movie i feel like giving a try........and that i like Revisiting shit i already like pretty endlessly so it's like, i might just do that. so it's like, audio wise i'll put on podcasts, if i feel like watching something i Might be bothered to try out a movie or smthing b/c yknow, ultimately more doable to consume something that's just a few hours, all that when i'm Thinking About a tv series every day for years lmfao, shoutout to billions which sure gets to be my fave b/c tf else am i keeping up with, literally nothing else, even if i haven't gotten around to actually watching all of it yet / haven't simply sat straight through even the episodes i have watched, i Could do it but it's like god formidable when it's sure more than a movie's worth of content and plenty of "i don't care about this and/or hate this" to make me put my head through the wall lmfao thank you billions........also sometimes i remember like "oh yeah, i guess in theory i enjoy video games as well" but i didn't have That much experience w/them and sure don't now, so that's like well irrelevant ig. media
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@alienfuckeronmain tagged me to deep-search my soul with these questions, and it is the exact distraction I was looking for! no pressure to do this one, pals, but i tag @carbonbased000 @leyley09 @shoeboxofphotographs12 @glitterandrocketfuel @allkindsofplatinumandpercocet @setting-in-a-honeymoon @toorational and anyone i’ve forgotten!
1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? does anyone like blue pens? who is this product made for
2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? the city, cuz i spent 7 consecutive years very broke in rural areas with homophobia neighbors and having things to do is so thrilling. but i imagine one day retreating into the desert and living far from my nearest neighbors
3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? I have learned all the skills I am interested in right now, because learning new things is an a+ quarantine activity. maybe the ability to do physics? i would like to be proficient in physics and i am deeply not
4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Never
5. What was your favourite book as a child? all of them! I have always read like i’m running out of time and often get stressed when i think about how few books i will be able to read in my lifetime. as a child I reread Lord of the Rings and Robin McKinley and the Holly Black Tithe series the most, and i was OBSESSED with those gold-paged books with ribbon bookmarks that were diaries of girls from different historical periods, and i have never been able to read historical fiction since.
6. Do you prefer baths or showers? I hated baths passionately until my chronic pain reached a tipping point, and since then i have learned to really enjoy the long hot soak with a drink and a book. (i didn’t like showers either until very recently. life support tasks felt like a huge waste of time until i got a partner who helped me figure out how to enjoy them)
7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? i have always wanted to be one of tolkien’s elves! I want a long life filled with learning languages and reading books and existing in green peaceful spaces, and then i want to be able to die when i am done.
8. Paper or electronic books? I like paper better--I’ve been building a library slowly my whole life--but my kindle has been life-saving during the pandemic when i couldn’t go to the library.
9. What is your favourite item of clothing? right now i’m doing all my work remotely and clothes feel meaningless, but i have a plain black tank top that i feel really comfortable in
10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? I don’t like my name at all--it’s Kaylie--because it is so aggressively peppy and feminine. it doesn’t sounds like an adult’s name; it evokes exclamation points and pigtails. i have always wished for a severe, no-nonsense name like joan, or a pretty but to-the-point name like eva.
11. Who is a mentor to you? Leslie Knope
12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? I used to fantasize about being a famous writer, and now in my field i do wish i had a name that mattered or was considered esteemed or expert in something in some way. I would love to have a research job where i had paid time to publish! but i don’t want it enough to work on it outside of my capitalist mandatory labor hours, because i don’t have enough time for my loved ones as it is
13. Are you a restless sleeper? lately yes, since my cat died in january i have slept like absolute hell
14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? not really, but i am a thoughtful one
15. Which element best represents you? earth
16. Who do you want to be closer to? physically i want to be closer to my long-distance pals like @alienfuckeronmain @newleafover @time-less @immoral-crow @leyley09 (leyna let’s have a movie night when i’m done moving???)
17. Do you miss someone at the moment? pretty much all my friends i used to regularly hang out with, sam who moved to seattle, sam who lives in madison, all the people i listed above
18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. I used to play going to work. i’d pack up a backgammon case as a briefcase, grab my stuffed gorilla, and go write in notebooks and move pieces of paper around
19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? I am an extremely boring person and all I eat is popcorn and bread
20. What are you most thankful for? having an able body that works to support me and keep me whole, having a partner who makes me feel truly cared for
21. Do you like spicy food? yep!
22. Have you ever met someone famous? once at c2e2 i met george r.r. martin and no one else cared he existed because got wasn’t a show yet, so i awkwardly went up to him and proclaimed my love for his work, and then he trapped me in a long conversation about vampires
23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? a journal! i have since i was pretty small, they take up a full shelf of a bookcase
24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? pen, and i have lots of Special Pens that i only use for a particular purpose or project, because i am a huge raging...
25. What is your star sign? virgo
26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? crunchy and without milk
27. What would you want your legacy to be? personally, that I wrote things that meant something to the people who read them; professionally, that i removed barriers to accessing healthcare for trans and gender expansive people
28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? see above--I completely adore reading. last book was Sisters of the Vast Black and currently i’m reading The House in the Cerulean Sea and it’s totally charming. I’ve been reading really quality science and nonfiction writing too, please send me your recommendations
29. How do you show someone you love them? I make them breakfast, I tell them so constantly, I send them things in the mail, I bring them small interesting gifts, and I say every nice thought I have about them out loud
30. Do you like ice in your drinks? not especially, but it’s fun to chew on
31. What are you afraid of? surgery
32. What is your favourite scent? smoke from blown-out candles, lavender, laundry detergent my loved ones use
33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? whatever they’ve told me to call them? this seems like common courtesy
34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I do so much less clinical work and work fewer hours in general, I would run for office so I could influence policy and stop wasting my fucking time on the ground level, I would spend more time writing, I would spend so much more time with my family, I would devote the time to running longer distances again in a way that doesn’t aggravate my busted knee
35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? the ocean!
36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? oh i would definitely spend that on something stupid and self-indulgent i wanted, like a pete wentz hoodie
37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? YES! when i was kid every summer i’d be sent to jesus camp, which thank god because that’s what got me into fanfiction, and it was in the middle of nowhere, wisconsin, and you could see the entire milky way and shooting stars blaze across that thing ALL THE TIME, and it shook me to my foundation every summer and for a time i mistook that feeling for faith in god instead of wonder at the infinite being and possibility that is our generous universe
38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? i have none of my own but my partner has a 5 year old, so quite against my intention i have become a parent-adjacent person. i try to teach him about emotional accountability for the effect of his actions on others
39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? the next tattoo i want is a big snake crawling up my mostly bare left arm
40. What can you hear now? my laptop fan
41. Where do you feel the safest? when i’m protecting someone else
42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? my relationship with my body
43. Of you could travel back to any era, what would it be? i’d really like to be a gentleman of leisure in a jane austen novel
44. What is your most used emoji? the purple heart
45. Describe yourself using one word. earnest
46. What do you regret the most? not going to a 4-year university and having a #college experience. it’s one of my most stinging regrets because it was not a decision i got to make for myself
47. Last movie you saw? what is a movie theater? what does it feel like to be in one? the last movie i watched is charlie’s angels from the early 2000s because that was an unexamined sexual awakening for me--lucy liu being efficient in leather has never left me, efficiency is the single trait i most attracted to--and i wanted my boyfriend to see how bad it is
48. Last tv show you watched? either Kipo and the age of the wonderbeasts or star trek tng!
49. Invent a word and its meaning. instead i will say that i think the most beautiful english word is ache. my favorite way of creating things is transforming and remixing what already exists, which makes writing with words someone else invented the ideal challenge and pastime
(i really loved doing this! it was nice to talk about myself at the end of a workweek. thank you @alienfuckeronmain !)
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