#i wasnt even gonna post one today but.
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Give me the strength to not get into a fight with my unis jewish society over instagram.
#full of zionists. not even worth arguing with cos so many of them refuse to believe the country theyre from might suck#and the others are british but just either baked in the propaganda or willing to sit with what everyone else says and not argue#if u were gonna have a 'dont argue about israel' policy it should go both ways.#i havent been to any of their events in months and ngl i may just not even get membership next year#but they keep posting shit on their insta and they exclusively just run the ujs party line (which is zionist)#the one today wasnt even so bad but im still. ugh. why is the fucking society for Jewish students a political entity istg.#maybe I'll get more involved in palestine solidarity soc at some point.
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#'well you cant win em all.' okay but i would like to win at least one!! (not my quote i swear ive seen it on tumblr just cant find it)#like i would kill for just one win. i would pay a crisp $10 to anyone that could provide a single win for me#today was yet another fucking loss and that was all i had lined up. like theres nothing set up to possibly be a win in the future#ive got nothing there. so weve ended on a loss and thats all i have for the foreseeable future#i counted all the wins and losses in recent memory. ive got like 13+ losses and about 1 win#i tried to count up all of my wins but truly i managed like. one.#even some things that i didnt know could become losses! like did you know you can just be refused an adhd reassessment?#like you can say 'id like to pay $160 for you to fuck up a diagnosis again' and they can actually say#'youre not even worth the trouble to misdiagnose so go fuck yourself'#but they can! i didnt know that#and then you can have the audacity to tey to hope for something and think youll get it. like hope a little too hard#truly shouldve lesrned my lesson after twelve losses in a row not to get my hopes up#but i did! i made plans! i was gonna buy a cute water bottle specifically for that job. snd take myself out to dinner if i got it#can you guess what happened? when i had the audacity to hope and plan for a job that i was so passionate about and wanted so much?#(i didnt get it. the job ive been posting about. didnt get it)#didnt get the apartment in the city i love and miss either. didnt get an adhd reassessment (which is still wild to me)#and i tried to frame them as better in my head. 'this is a chance to tey a different job youd be better at! this is a chance to save money!'#nope its just another shitty thing in a long line of shitty things and im just getting tired of it. im so fucking tired of it#i am back where i vowed id never come back to and i cant escape in any way shape or fucking form#just needed to vent because saying all this in my head wasnt helping. saying it here doesnt help either but whatever
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It took me, ugh, MONTHS (2), to get to cleaning the two shrimp tanks I have... I had IRL issues going on that would have made it extremely difficult to do a water change especially while injured, and I just had to keep putting it off. It's just shrimp, so it wasn't like, the worst situation, especially since I have established plants and the tanks are a couple years old. There was just a lot of algae build-up on the glass, and, well... Let me just say it was not contributing to my mental health and well-being while the tanks were in that state.
I tested the water before I started cleaning and the parameters were fine (like, I could have left the tanks even longer if I would be okay with selling my soul to the Algae Collective), and the plants and shrimp look fine, too (I mean, I've obviously been keeping an eye on the tanks bc I sit right next to them). Actually, I'd wager to say that the plants are looking really great (the lilies haven't died off [yet? This is the longest period of time I've seen them stay... foliage... fol... foliated? Idk.] and the cryptocoryne in the 10gal is fucking huge and needs to be rearranged, just not right now). That fucking algae was a motherfucker to get off the 10gal (it's a plastic tank and I think that makes the algae grip harder than the glass 5gal).
[Also, fyi, depending on the tank's needs and stability, recommended water changes are a small one every week or every other week. My parameters don't seem to do anything dramatic, so I usually aim for a 20-30% water change every third week (just depends on how much vacuuming needs to be done and how cooperative the shrimp are with moving aside). So 2 months is still a lot. I still did the normal 30% ish amount, since doing more will risk the shrimp's well-being if there's a sudden change in everything, and my water parameters indicated a change was unnecessary - but I don't test for more than the minimum freshwater tests, so there could be a buildup of some mineral I'm not testing for, which is why the change IS actually necessary regardless of what my test kit says - because these tanks were evaporating a lot in summer, it condenses the minerals added with each water addition, even tho I usually top up with R.O. water.]
My back is fucking killing me lol. It has been killing me since spring when it 'went out' for the first time, and I'm not getting any relief, it sucks. But this had to be done.
The 5gal is looking pretty cloudy still, since the filter was super gunked up and I accidentally spilled gunk back in, so I may need to retest the 5gal parameters tomorrow just to make sure I don't have to do another water change, but it'll probably be fine, right? Shrimp love mulm and detritus. I did give both tanks a big ole algae tab for their trouble, tho. (I need a fuckening dish for the big tank. I really wanna clean off that white quartz rock again, but being white means it's an algae magnet, and it's just gonna go green again after a month or two.)
Anyway, shrimp tax:
I lov thees widdle oange bebies.
Wish I could take better pictures rn, but I am. Like. Dying. My recommendation: never live in an A-frame style room if you have the option. The wall above my tanks is slanted, and NOT fun for my back to bend underneath the wall for maintenance. (My only flat wall in the room is for my TV/PC.) Also, treat your back nicely, in general. I unfortunately have not had the option to treat my back nicely since spring (fall now), because 'when it rains it pours,' and heavy shit that needs to be moved will not move itself. Once I get a few more things in my room in order, I will hopefully be done with the IRL chaos, bc I have Halloween socks to knit, and I'm not putting that off for another year. (I'm still mad that I couldn't make the ones I planned last year. And I found more Halloween yarn I forgot I bought, so I'm gonna try to make multiple socks.) And I just really need to fucking chill and knit and stop having panic attacks and meltdowns.
#me earlier today: oh i should bleach my hair since i havent been able to shower for 2 days it wont damage it as much#me now: i dont know if i can even stand long enough to shower after this#anyway im gonna try to eat something and then shower and pass tf out.#maybe i shouldve taken a before picture to show how much i did...#...but i do Not want to remember 'that one time i didnt do a water change for 2 months' the algae was gross lol i couldnt even get it all#but honestly idc ab the back wall having algae as long as the front and most of the sides are clear#seriously the algae was textured like sandpaper tho. does algae do pearling? if it does then its calcium buildup too#edit while typing bc i looked it up. yes algae pearls. so the bubbles it was making were drying enough to cause calcium deposits#oH also lmao i found the tiniest pinch of hornwort left in the 10gal. idk why the hornwort doesnt like that tank but its hilarious that...#...that one little fingernail sized piece is still alive floating in there. i stuck it next to the lily but the shrimp will prob dislodge it#the hornwort in the 5gal is just freefloating i cant get that shit to stick#the shrimp love that stuff and they look like little birds in a pine tree#im in so much pain im procrastinating food lmao 'order pizza' crossed my mind but my jaw wont let me eat pizza so fml#anyway. just wanted to show an accomplishment even if its not a praise worthy one since i didnt go the extra 10 miles to water change sooner#awwww tho i love seeing them glide around the tank and now i can see them clearly its so chill#shrimp#aquariums#crustaceans#bugs#Cori.exe#Post.exe#Image.exe#also my therapist started cracking up this morning when i said like 'i can finally rest now tht i dont have a Saw trap bathroom to navigate'#seriously tho it was bad and then another issue in the bathroom came up 2 days ago but theyre both fixed now. my br is normal now.#im not normal tho (normal for myself i mean) and unfortunately thats not gonna be an easy fix but im trying#man can i ever make a post where i dont type a million words lmao. inability to focus and then i start typing more stuff#oh ab the hair bleach man my roots are so dark i just trimmed off the last of the bleach from last time so i got 2tone hair rn#idk when ill get to that. dependsnon my back. i already wasnt in a great state of being when i did the aquariums but i needed to clean them#ok i rly need to try n make food and shower before i start growing algae on myself
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I had a dream Ohio was getting an until then California only fast food place (not in and out) and I was so excited and I drove past it to see when it would be open.... not until August 2099. 😭 wtf
#that wasnt even the wildest part of the dream#and i saw the restaurant when i was trying to break out of the church camp i went to (had a breakdown in and went home 2 days early from)#when i was like 11 but i could drive and was like today aged#like why was i there 😭 and i was like running away bc it was like really eerie there and felt like post apocalyptic#then i got home and the station on our tv that is the only audio channel was gonna start playing jjba but only one part a year and every day#of the week they would only play a certain character focused episode and they were starting with part 3 (my beloved)#and the schedule was like sunday: dio. monday: avdol. tuesday: kakyoin. wednesday: jotaro. thursday: polnareff (i can never spell it 😭)#friday: joseph. and Saturday was just minor villian episodes sgdgdgdgdgdgd anyway all this starting at 8pm and i was mad#that kakyoin was on tuesday bc tuesdays i fall asleep early bc im off the next day and i was mad it wasnt like Thursday#then every pbs channel was playing a new cyberchase movie but they all started at different times so the movie wasnt synced among the#channels and i kept flipping between them instead of watching whatever one started last#at least it was half a funny dream though and not 100% a nightmare like my dreams usually are#oh and the jojo eps would be like ones from the series but also they just made up new ones but never told anyone when the new ones would air#so youd have to watch the whole time sgdgdgdggdgxgxg#marquilla
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Tfw I have so much to do, and so much I want to do, but my body hits me with the "is it a migraine? Or am I actually getting sick?" episode of the miserable sunday variation.
Fun :)
#personal#vent#Raksh posts#first I thought im getting sick#because Ive been sneezing and blowing up a storm and my nose has been bothering me the whole night#so I thought the headache and hurting eyes and the whole of my face feelinb weird was that#but then it got worse when I went outside into the sun and my ears starting feeling like they're gonna bleed#so I guess its another migraine yay#as if the friday one that rendered me useless and stole the whole day away from wasnt enough :)#love not being able to even exsist as a person when having a migraine :)#Im trying to soldier through today tho#I wanna at least type up the AU I have jotted down in my notebook#have something done for Myself for once#then maybe I'll day down for a bit if I have time#because later I gotta get a mask on my head and wash my hair and prep food and stuff for the long day tomorrow#Ive darkened my room as much as I can so hopefully that'll be alright#Ive also taken an ibuprofen and tho it doesnt always help maybe it will this time 😪#I'll see I guess...
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Listen I got so many finished fics just sitting in my files so I might post smth twice a week this month, I just gotta do the math after work this evening
#itd be sundays and wednesdays#cuz im gonna finally start posting my wing au fic next week#and thats gonna update sundays#so wednesdays i might post a one shot ive got#listen the like first half of this year fuckin sucked ass for me 90% of the time#so i like wrote stuff out but didnt post like half of it#and part of those things are parent oc stuff so i wasnt sure if i was even gonna post them at all#but now ive got a bunch of finished works and its getting overwhelming#and i gotta clear that out#so expect more stuff from me!#i got smth going up today since i had to push the starting of wing au posting cuz i had a better idea for ch1
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venting :-) sorry
#sh tw !!#i am so tired of my mother#last time i saw my therapist i talked about how she drives me insane but still i feel so guilty for getting mad at her because i know she#has issues and literally can not reason but i get so frustrated and exhausted#she took like 9 days off of work to ‘take care of me’ (her words) after my surgery and i didnt ask her to do one thing all these days excep#help me make food and come up with stuff for me to eat bc of my diet rn and thats all#she has been doing her thing all these days like literally just sleeping on the couch and going out with her friends and going shopping and#only made me food herself once (1) in over a week#and i didnt say anything bc i know i cant say anything to her if i dont want to get her to start screaming but today i couldnt take it#i was painting all morning because i am extremely stressed and anxious to make a fucking portfolio to find some work and idk what they thin#i do in my room all day probably sleep but i dont !! im up until 1:30 am working every day even now despite having just had my jaw cut into#pieces and stitched back together#and she went out to the post office for me for a second and then spent the rest of the morning shopping and came back at 12 and had the#audacity to get mad because i hadnt made any food for myself or for anyone else yet#when i literally called her just minutes before to ask her instructions on how to prepare a certain soup for myself and she told me to wait#because she was gonna do it instead#like ???????#and when i told her i had been busy working all morning and that the whole point of her being home from work was that she said she was gonn#make stuff for me she started screaming like an insane person that i was accusing her and it wasnt fair and i was mean and rude and that sh#does EVERYTHING for me and im ungrateful#and when i say my stomach sinks to the floor every time i hear her yelling#it is ingrained into my brain#i have nightmares about her tantrums and her yelling#im so tired#and it always ends with me getting the urge to hurt myself and i want to cry but i cant because my face hurts when i cry and i am not#allowed to blow my nose bc of my surgery so im just here. swallowing all of this once again
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heaven - PIASTRI - part 3
pairings: oscar piastri x private!reader (fc: gracie abrams)
summary: oscars girlfriend attends her first grand prix and the public get to see just how proud she is of oscar
authors note: ive honestly missed writing for oscar and priv!reader so we are back in honor of oscars FIRST EVER WIN AND INCREDIBLE SPRINT RACE!! im genuinely so proud of oscar and im honestly in shock. i also follow ZERO wag pages so i have no clue what they are like, if people actually follow them etc.
authors note 2: short-ish and sweet for OSCARS FIRST WIN?? i started writing this about 30 minutes before the sprint race so i had no clue where this was going to go but HE WON!!
part 1 part 2 masterlist
f1wagupdates
liked by user5, user81, user9 and 7,289 others
yn entering the paddock for the first time today! she followed shortly after oscar, spoke to some oscar/mclaren fans and handed a few who were unable to meet oscar, on his way in, some signed things she had. we absolutely love her already!!
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user81: omg she’s literally the sweetest thing😭
user17: I LOVE HER ALREADY
user61: the fact that oscar fans already love her🫶🫶
user9: oh she looks so cute!!
user72: i was one of the girls she gave something too! she said she had been following behind oscar and kept an eye on anyone who he missed to give them something after he left. she was very very shy, but she made sure to speak to everyone who oscar missed and was asking us questions about us, overall she was very sweet!!
user22: this makes me love her even more😭and congrats on the signed stuff!! do you mind me asking what it was?
user72: thank you! and of course, we all got something different! i got a signed polaroid of oscar (im still in disbelief?! and it must have been one she took herself bcs i couldnt find the photo online anywhere), someone a bit down from me got what looked like a drivers card and i saw someone else get a picture of his car!
user22: A POLAROID?? oh you won😭😭
user1: i wonder if we will see her again
yourusername
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first qualifying in the paddock was a rollercoaster of emotions, not the result we were hoping for, expected or wanted but its ok because oscars gonna smash it tomorrow and we’ll pretend today didnt happen!!
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oscarpiastri: glad you had fun🤍
oscarpiastri: my goodluck charm wasnt goodlucking today
yourusername: dont say thattt☹️ill try and be extra lucky tomorrow promise!!
oscarpiastri: i love you
yourusername: i love you more🤭
user3: the photo difference😭
user14: loved seeing you in the garage today
yourfriend3: i love you but those photos😭😭
yourusername: stoooop i was so nervous all day😭
yourfriend7: wish oscar luck from all of us back home!
oscarpiastri: 👍👍
user81: u are so cute☹️
user2: so unfair how they told oscar during the interview!!
yourusername
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changed outfits but we are ready for the sprint!!
tagged oscarpiastri
comments on this post have been limited
oscarpiastri: love you lots and lots, thank you for coming🧡
yourusername: I LOVE YOU!! and you dont have to thank me, ill always stay with you🤍🤍
f1
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PIASTRI STORMS TO SPRINT POLE IN QATAR!🤩��
He just keeps getting better and better!
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mclaren: YESSSSSS!!!👏👏👏
user6: P1ASTRI
yourusername: INCREDIBLE🤩🤩
user18: more than deserved!
user73: absolute legend
yourusername added to their story
seen by oscarpiastri and 6,289 others
user6: AHHHHHH
user81: LOOK AT HIM GO
oscarpiastri: ☺️☺️
yourusername
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oh how i obsessively adore you.. today you took your first f1 pole position, hours later you became a formula one race winner (idc if it was a sprint you still won!!)
i have been on this incredible journey with you long before your first f2 race. i was by your side at your first f2 win and im still by your side now youve won in f1
i know how much this win means to you, i know how much you wanted to prove yourself to everyone and you have. you never fail to amaze me, especially coming back after the shit show that was yesterday
you are truly incredible and you are so so special🐨
i love you so much, congratulations🧡
tagged oscarpiastri
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user61: WHAT IF I STARTED SOBBING
user11: THE KOALA😭😭
user72: so deserved🧡incredible drive!!
user68: the f2 race winner picture😭😭the f1 race winner picture😭😭THE SMILEY INTERVIEW PICTURE😭😭
oscarpiastri: my favorite goodluck charm🧡
oscarpiastri: thank you so much for sticking with me through it all
oscarpiastri: i appreciate you so much my love
yourusername: you are so special, lovely🩵
landonorris: usually i hate your sappy posts but ill make an exception this time..congrats mate!!
oscarpiastri: you too mate!
yourusername: knew id get you to love these posts eventually🤭
formula2: we’re so proud of our aussie🥹🐨
oscarpiastri and yourusername added to their stories
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*text on first photo reads: my favourite thing is when i open my phone after a race and i see the photos yn sent me during the race🧡* *text on second photo reads: i love seeing my boy do what he loves*
oscar’s replies:
user52: shes so cute☹️
user12: tell me that was when you won the race and not before
user61: where can i find someone like her😭
yourusername: babyyy i didnt know youd share these😭😭
oscarpiastri: just had to show everyone how grateful i am for you🤍
user49: get yourself someone who supports you the way yn supports oscar!!
yn’s replies:
user17: oh i love you guys so much
yourfriend2: we are all so proud of oscar!!
oscarpiastri: i love you so much more than i can ever express
yourusername: osc☹️☹️ i hold so much love and adoration for you
oscarpiastri: wait when did you take this photo??
yourusername: i watched the final lap in the bathroom so i could sob in peace😭
#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 smau#f1 social media au#social media au#formula 1 insta au#formula 1 social media au#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#★ private oscar#f1 insta au
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i got what i wanted in the 3d but why did i keep assuming negative?
today i found myself assuming that something negative (that ive experienced before) was going to happen again soon. but this was without any clear evidence that it would happen. there was subtle evidence but then i caught myself and realized that is was all an assumption and i thought “why am i even assuming negative if i know the power of the law?💀” so i decided it wouldnt end up that way and i let it go. hours later i saw clear evidence of the complete opposite of my negative assumption. this means that everything was going good like no negative shit was gonna happen and i still literally got physical evidence of what i wanted. at the same time, i felt uncertain and again assumed that negative thing was still gonna happen soon (even tho i saw evidence that it it wouldnt happen).
why did i feel uncertain even tho what i wanted appeared right in front of me? because in reality, i was chasing the feeling. i wasnt fulfilled, i wasnt satisfied within. this is what ppl mean when they say “its the feeling you want, you dont want it in the 3d”. sure you want the object and the physical experience but notice how the “real” and physical thing did not satisfy me at all. i literally manifested what i wanted yet i didnt feel like it would last. the 3d will never give you what you want. it will always be that inner fulfillment that gives you want you want. fulfillment is what gives you the satisfaction so if youre saying that you manifested something in the 3d and felt secure, thats because you were fulfilled. why did i also get what i wanted in the 3d yet i didnt feel secure? it will always come down to the fulfillment. that fulfillment is the FEELING! the feeling of knowing you have it despite seeing it in the 3d or not. this is also why the 3d never matters; its all neutral. bc everything IS based on assumptions and states. you see the world based on which state you are in. if im in the state of being broke, i will look at a $50 headphones as too expensive and i wouldnt feel secure in buying it. but if i was in the state of being a millionaire, i would look at a $50 headphones as if it was fifty cents and i would feel secure in even buying a more expensive one. its not about the 3d, its about if you feel fulfillment because either way if you have it in the 3d and still dont feel as if its not rly yours (fulfillment), then you will continue to assume negative and feel unsecured in your manifestation.
“as within so without” right? this is why when you are satisfied internally, you feel satisfied externally; it gets pushed out because self is always expressed in the 3d. someone who is not satisfied with being a millionaire within, can never feel good in the 3d until they fulfill themselves within (or change states where being a millionaire is normal for them). everything truly is the feeling and everything truly starts within.
back to assumptions: i continued to assume negative even with positive evidence in front of me because i wasnt giving myself the feeling. i didnt feel satisfied within. assumptions are accepting ideas without evidence. i clearly assumed correctly because i didnt have evidence that that negative thing was going to happen but i clearly was in a state of fear which is what caused me to continuously have that assumption. whatever state you are in affects your assumptions. lucky for me and you, we can change states and assumptions instantly. other than that, next time you find yourself assuming negative, stop yourself and just decide/assume it will all work out. change your state -> you are now the person who already has what they want.
anywayz, i realized all this in a span of 7 seconds after i got the physical thing i wanted but still assumed negative. i wanted to make this post because ppl could be doing the same thing and still feeling stuck and thinking that something is wrong with them when thats not the case. catch yourself and assume positive. make it a habit that whenever you want something, fulfill yourself right away. assume its done right away. update: i assumed and fulfilled myself with what i wanted and i no longer feel the need to assume the negative shit 😛. the power of fulfillment am i right ?
kisses, jani ☆
#etherealkissed🎀#etherealkissed#loa blog#manifesting#law of assumption#loassumption#edward art#neville goddard#return to the wish fulfilled state#fulfillment#wishfulfilled
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needy • h.hj •
pairings- gamer!hyunjin x fem!reader
synopsis- he always says he’ll get off in a few minutes or when he’s finished the round. leaving you with an ache only he can soothe.
warnings- SMUT!!!! teasing, unprotected sex (be smart bookie), oral (m and f receiving), slight masturbation (ur doing it),petnames, slight overstimulation, slight edging (he stops before he cums). some bratty behavior.
a/n: sorry for not posting in forever :(. butttt i just turned 19!!! WOOOOO!! anyways, hope yall enjoy this, please send more reqs, and also still accepting moots! and im also almost at 80 followers teehee i could cry. anyways much love!
youve been sitting on the couch for hours now. sitting behind hyunjin, trying to be patient and wait for him to finally finish the game so he could give you attention for what feels like the first time today. he didnt show any signs of getting off soon even though he said he’d be “finished in a few minutes”. whenever you ask him if hes finished, he would say “almost. give me a few more minutes”. and those minutes turned into hours.
you sighed unusually loud when you asked him one more time. “im almost done, im literally about to beat this level. just give me a few more minutes.” he said. “ugh, its been hours since you last said that, and im really needy right now. cant you just save it and finish later?” you said.
there really isnt an established dom/sub dynamic in the relationship. sometimes you would take control, and sometimes he would take the lead. so when he heard the slight brattiness in your tone, he paused the game to look at you. it was like he was warning you with his eyes. “i told you that im almost finished. now you can do either of these two things im gonna suggest. you can either find something to do until im finished or sit there like the good pretty girl you are and wait for me.” he said.
the firmness of his voice was enough to quiet you down, but it also added fuel to the fire between your legs. it was becoming unbearable. so when hyunjin turned back to the screen of his computer, you decided to slip your hands down there to relieve yourself until he was able to help.
it didnt take long for hyunjin to catch on to what was going on behind him. the sounds of your soft whimpers, and the sounds of your wet pussy were reaching his ears. “princess, are you touching yourself?” he asked softly. you stopped in your actions to brat out “yes, because you arent doing it.”
he turned in his chair to see that you were there on the couch, only in a shirt, panties on the floor, legs spread and fingers sticky. he swore he could cum right then at the sight. but he composed himself. he walks over to you, and lowers himself so you and him are eye to eye. he grips your thighs and kisses them softly. moving closer to where you really need him.
your breath getting gradually louder as he nears your pussy, but stops as soon as hes facing it. hyunjin blows cool air on your clit, the new sensation making you whine, and clench around nothing. he smiles knowing how much control he has over you right now.
he starts off by kissing around the folds softly, just enough to drive you insane. youre getting wetter everytime he presses his lips on you. then he moves to your clit and swirls his tongue around it. you were already riled up from playing with yourself, so you know it wont take long for you. he switches from kitten licks to flicking his tongue to tracing figure eight. all of this combined with his lock on your eyes is enough to send you over the edge. “im cumming!” you nearly scream out. “go ahead.” he says. and with that, you came with your whole body shaking from him continuing to eat you out. “aah- stop baby!” you whine.
but your whines fell upon deaf ears. it was apparent he wasnt gonna stop until he was ready. so you pushed his head away and he wiped his mouth clean.
“satisfied?” he asked. you shook your head no. “let me return the favor and then ill be satisfied.” you said back. so he sat down as you got up. you pulled his boxers down, as thats all he was wearing. his boxers and a long sleeve shirt. you give his tip a kiss. just to get him back for teasing you in the beginning. he hisses slightly when you lick it. “baby please.” he whined out. you looked him in the eye and smiled as you took him down your throat. his head thrown back against the cushion on the couch. hyunjin grabbed your head and thrusted his hips up softly when he felt you about to tease him again. with every thrust, he was panting and letting out small moans. “oh god, its so good, i wanna cum down your throat. but i wanna fuck you so bad now.” he moaned softly.
as he felt himself about to cum, he quickly took himself out of your mouth. you sat back on your feet and looked at him gather himself. “come here princess.” hyunjin said as he patted his lap. you knew what he wanted. so you climbed on top and slid yourself down on him slowly.
the stretch making you both moan. you gave him and yourself a moment to get ready. and slowly rocked yourself on him. hyunjin knows you talk the most shit when youre on top. “see baby, you couldve had this hours ago, if you werent playing the game all day.” you said. he rolled his eyes at you and gripped your hips to make you go faster. the slow pace was good but you both know that the faster pace is better.
“so tight for me, yeah? you been waiting for this, like a needy pretty girl.” hyunjin moaned in your ear. the raspiness of his voice was driving you insane. all you could do was moan back in response. he stilled your hips so he could adjust himself and thrust up into you. you let out a throaty moan as he was hitting your g-spot well. “s’good.” was all you could say. your mind going numb as he continued to thrust into you.
hyunjin felt you clenching around him, signaling that you were close. “close already? does it feel that good?” he said. you couldnt answer him, so you let your cries and whines do the talking. “go ahead love, cum for me.” he whispered in your ear. he leaned you back a little so he could rub your clit. the overstimulation he was giving you made your mind go blank.
“fuck…” was all you said as you came around him. shaking and screaming a little as he pounded into you harder so he could cum. he was close and you could feel it in the way his hips were losing rhythm. “baby…please let me cum inside…cant hold it anymore…” hyunjin whined. you were too far gone to speak so you just nodded. he wasted no time in filling you up. “fuck..baby!” he moaned loudly.
he started to slow down as he was riding his high out. both of you taking the time to catch a breath before kissing each other softly.
“next time hyunjin, dont make me wait.” you said.
“next time ill leave your needy ass high and dry.” he replied in the same cockiness.
©️luvanniiee on tumblr
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Pick up your phone!
paring : toxic!ellie x toxic!reader
warnings : Mention of weed, alcohol. Ellie’s punishment with sex. Mention of nudes. Oral (e!receiving), fingering (r!reveiving). Language, nicknames such as : slut, doll, angel, baby, bitch, motherfocker (and others). mention of yn like twice. Mention of cheating and lying and many other bad things 😅. Ellie and reader are NOT healthy, do not romanticize their relationship, its fucked up. Porn w out plot? (kinda). Both reader and ellie are mean and does fucked up shit. 18+
summary : You wait Ellie again. she’s late for 4 hours and she wants to make it up to you. But you didn’t want to fall in her arms this time- which you obviously lost at trying to do. Ellie’s mad and has a punishment for you when she was in the wrong, and you had every right to be mad at her.
kinda a scrap this is bad 🙏
short asf
you :
00:12 - Ellie, where are you?
00:34 - Ellie istg answer me!!
1:02 - c’mon you said you’d come over today
Els 🖕🏻:
1:55 - im omw
1:57 - dont bother.
2:01 - im sorry im late
2:01 - you’re always sorry, dont come home and go fuck one of your stupid fangirls
2:02 - im coming over
2:02 - i said no
2:03 - c’mon lemme make it up to you 💋
2:05 - im gonna block you
2:32 - yn? !message not delivered!
“fuck” Ellie mumbled under her breath, going out of the studio and jumps in her Truck. going over speed’s limit and then knocking hard enough on your apartment to wake up everyone else in the combo.
you get up from your bed, unable to sleep due to waiting for her all night.
you open your door and when you see Ellie standing in front of it, smelling weed and alcohol, you know she wasn’t gonna be easy to deal with tonight.
“Ellie go home, its 3 in the morning…”
“cmon let me in baby” she said in a whisper, almost sounding like a whine.
You and Ellie’s relationship was complicated- that was what you were saying to your friends, because the amount of time you two broke up, that she cheated on you, that you would expose her nudes on internet, that she would sleep with a stranger just to piss you off and somehow you’d still let her come back in your arms- as she did the same with you. you would do shitty things as well, like saying to all of her fans that the concert was cancelled or that it changed location. you could also post on twitter her worse secrets when you learned that she cheated on you. you’d also make up lies about some random stuff just to get a revenge out of her.
but mostly she would just fuck up your trust for her like coming home 4 hours later or cheating on the infinite amount of girls. she’d also love bomb you to get you back and then would disappear for weeks. she also showed all of her band’s member the sextape she got of you- and you knew after Dina, the base player told it to you. You and ellie would randomly call eachothers- especially when she or you were under something, most likely weed or alcohol but sometimes something else. It wasnt rare that you would make her jealous and posting a story of you and a girl on instagram and she’d come over to fuck you dumb. only to wake up alone in the bed.
“ellie please i just wanna sleep tonight, no fight.”
“and please i just wanna say sorry, no fight.” Ellie answered, thinking she was a smart girl for this one
you rolled your eyes.
“are you even able to walk?” you asked her, seeing her flushed cheeks and her eyes red like hell
“of course i am baby, im okay.. please let me just make it up to you im so sorry im late”
“no youre not! because you wouldve told me you’d come home late or you wouldve just told me that you were busy!!!”
“im so sorry..” she says in a childish tone, just as if she was mocking you for being so mad.
“fuck off els”
Ellie rolled her eyes and made her way inside, taking steps closer to you.
“dont talk to me like that.” Ellie says, looking right into your eyes- mood changing suddenly, she didnt get the answer she wanted.
“you dont show up 4 hours late, bitch”
Ellie’s jaw tightened and she looked at you furiously
“tell me you just wanted to fuck me Ellie.”
“dont you ever call me ‘bitch’ again.”
“or what? you’re gonna leave? that already happened, i can survive it.”
“nah.. im gonna give you a lesson.”
“the fuck you mean?”
“get on your knees” Ellie said, tone demanding.
“i wont do shit you ask me to do Ellie.” you say scared of what she’s gonna ask you to do. you have some suspicions, but your mind is overthinking about so many possibilities.
Ellie puts her hands on your shoulders and force you to get you on your knees. She looks at you from down and she takes off her pants along with her boxers.
“you know what to do now.” Ellie tells you, intertwining her fingers with your hair, pulling you closer to her pussy. You start to give her short licks, obviously nothing enough for her.
“I swear to god you motherfucker if you dont do what-“
Ellie started but got cut off with one of her whines by you sucking her clit like your life depended on it. Your knees hurts, but her grip in your hair is too strong for you to move. your holding her by the thighs, moaning against her cunt by how good she tastes. obviously pussydrunk by her. and the perfect little grunts she would make made you so fucking wet. her hips would be jerking against your face, riding your tongue the best she could to chase your high. Ellie would never tell you, but you ever were the only one to make her cum. she knew that it would make your ego so much too high if she told you that on countless girls you were the only one able to please her. you know her sweet spots and she wasnt scared to be vulnerable with you. she always was. and you always were too.
“Fuck- fuck.. just like that, yeah”
her grunts would turn into whines and her whines into small moans. Ellie wasnt that much of a loud girl, but you knew if she was vocal- it was good. it made you laugh, sending vibrations through her clit.
“Im gonna- fuckkk!!” she moans out as she cums in your mouth. you still suck her clit as she rides your tongue for her high to be longer.
you get up from your knees and ellie kisses you, tasting herself on your tongue. the kiss turns rapidly messy and rough. Ellie would hold you by the hips, directing you by the bed. as soon as you touched the bed, she made you lay down on it and she got on top of you, still making out with you. her kisses got on your jaw until your neck. she then took a pause to look at you. you were eye doying her- she would always win. you were her little slut.
“only needed my” puts a finger into your core “fingers to shut that attitude huh?”
she takes off your shirt- which you were braless under it. peaking already your tits, ellie titled her head, smirking
“you got ready for me, doll?”
you nodded, wanting more of her.
“nuh huh, words baby, i want words.” she told you as the sucked one of your nipples as one of her hand was massaging the other breast. as her other hand was working on your clit to make you feel sooo good.
“j-just for you els!” you obey to her request, only wanting her to go faster.
“faster el- faster!!” you try to manage to tell her.
“faster huh?” Ellie says as she just slows her pace of her fingers brushing against that sweet spot of yours.
“please ellie!!” you beg for her to go faster as she just slows down again and again.
“i didnt say you’d get a good time Baby, this is your punishment, as deserved.”
“please.. ill be good Ellie- never gonna be m-mean with you ever” you faked promised her, just needed to tell her whatever she wanted to hear.
“yeah? you’d do this for me, angel?” Ellie asks as shes at only one finger, completely ruining you. completely making you cry for more- needing more.
“id do anything- just please fuck me ellie, fuck me.”
-
2 days after this huge mistake. You and Ellie started to do this kind of thing all the time. She’d piss you off, you’d be mad, she’d become madder for something she made you mad at- and would finish as sex. the only way you two did work out with.
she made you feel so good and you made her feel better.
This was unhealthy, but she was so addictive.
she’d come home in the middle of the night- wouldnt care if you were deep asleep or had a party- she’d take care of that pussy no matter what. Her songs would be about you two relationships.
Everyone liked it.
and you were happy you had such a big impact that she wrote- and sang about you.
But she didnt see you that pretty- you were her fucking toy.
14:01 : why the fuck did you say that i was toxic in your song?
15:56 : because you are.
15:59 : fuck you els
16:01 : you wish <3
16:01 : you’re the toxic one in our relationship
16:30 : 💀💀 hell nah
16:31 : Ellie how many times did you cheat on me?
17:23 : babe, we were on break how many times do i get to tell you that?
17:23 : anyways i gtg ill see you tonight ;)
She wasnt easy and you werent either.
but whatever, she has become way more famous than ever.
she’d send you those pictures before a show, trying to make you come to one (which you did but didnt tell her).
“does that feel good els?” you say as your face was in between her thighs, on your knees just like how she loved you like that.
“fuck babe dont stop!!” Ellie would tell you into a soft tone, not so much like that little ‘dominant’ cover she’s making everyone believe she was. she was always the one screaming your name over and over.
she then would make you see heaven with her cock filling you up, camera in one hand and the other one on your breast. She’d look at it all the time, rolling circles on her clit whenever she missed you and you blocked her so she couldnt ask you for any nudes- she has better, she could literally see you in action getting fucked by her.
she loved you, that was why she was so fucked up at showing it.
and you just were getting revenge for how she made you feel.
But in a way you two belonged together.
But she’d still use you for your amazing body and how good your tongue felt against her cunt.
you were her little stress reliever. (you’d let her do whatever she wanted to you- you’d just never tell her that)
request are open 💋
#ellie williams#ellie fanfic#the last of us#ellie smut#ellie x reader#tlou fanfiction#wlw ns/fw#wlw post#wlw smut#toxic relationship#toxic love#toxicity#not healthy#wrong#ellie x you#ellie x fem reader#smut#so hot and sexy#dom x sub
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So I cant.....I can't anymore, Stolas fucking sucks
Season 2 as a whole sucks and gets rid of a lot of character depth that characters had in s1. But this post isn't about that-
I was recording clips for an edit, and you know in ep9 s2 when Stolas tells Blitz about "you couldn't be bothered to come save me"
Yeah.....Blitz TOLD him why he was unable to go and save him. He was even genuinely concerned and sent milly and moxxie in his place
You wanna know what Blitz said??
"Ah shit Stolas I can't today- I'm sorry I am literally on my way to take loona in for her very important hellvis S-H-O-T" and "it takes years to book it, it took 5 for me to get this one"
Aka, a rabies shot, which, racist will immediately kill you. You DON'T survive that once you get it and symptoms start showing up, it's a death sentence, and considering Loona is basically a sentient/anthropomorphic dog, if she catches it her survival rate is probably 0 percent
And you know what? Stolas gets it, and then in ep9, "the one who tried to kill em and you couldn't be BOTHERED to come help me"
Bitch he told you?? He sent people in his place?? He was getting his kid a really important shot?? Yiu selfish motherfu-
I hate this bird
I hate this fucking bird so much more now
This is just the finale straw for me that breaks the camels back tbh like......
Apology tour is just, Stolas and the narritive/writing basically gaslighting Blitz and its gross
I liked Stolitz and Stolas in s1, it wasnt a healthy relationship. The circumstances for both characters weren't super good, but it understood that and actually showed those flaws, It set up these characters future arcs
Season 2 is, frankly, a shit show. It has its moments, but ep1 ruined Stolas and Stolitz for me, and it just keeps on getting worse and it isn't even in a way of "Oh its rough, but they can bounce back
This is gaslighting. This is hypocrisy. This is guilt tripping. This is abuse.
Instead of building off of season 1 it is retconning it, it is destroying the continuity and timeline, it's making these characters so much worse then what they were
Instead of having Stolas face actual consequences for his actions the narritive is backtracking and going "Oh actually its not his fault" over and over again
Oh he cheated in the marriage? No worries Stella is a bitch so it's okay
Oh, he's neglecting his daughter despite them already having this arc? Oh, it's fine she just needs to cut him some slack
Oh he constantly belittled Blitz and made him uncomfortable in season 1? Actually it was all of Blitzs fault for misreading the signs of love!
He is constantly shown looking down and abusing other imps like his butler? Oh its fine, they aren't the main characters so what he does to them isn't important!!
Another thing is that Blitz tells Stolas how he feels. He points out his shitty actions. And what does Stolas do? He fucking cries like Blitz is being a big ol means for no reason
This trial is just going to further victimize him and make him seem in the right. The fact the sins might even be brought into it is also so fucking stupid.
The writing went from a 8 to a 1 with the characters. And it's only a 1 here because there are some good ideas in s2.
Their basically trying to cover up, retcon, Stolas's actions instead of having him deal with consequences and go through real development
Honestly the best ending for Stolitz would be Blitz realizing Stolas is toxic as fuck to him and just, not contacting him again. Stolas could get some real consequences in that trial and move on and become better in his own right
Butttt of course since Viv likes them so much it's gonna be dragged on for fucking seasons and then their gonna get together.
If I were to rewrite the season, I wouldn't even try to rewrite Stolitz.
#feel free to ignore btw i know some people dont like posts liek this which is totally fine#i jsut needed a vent because fucking hell. this season is so badly written.#i am not putting this in main cause i dont feel like getting harrassed for hating stolas#also going to bed i cant believe this took an hour to write wtf#helluva boss critical#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss critique#stolas hate#anti stolas
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Logan x Reader pt.10
Omg Im so sorry I'm not consistent with posting, it's my nans 70th so I am off this week so I should be able to be a bit better
Also my bestie's bestie and her wife got tickets to the eras tour without me and are going today so I needed Logan to comfort me - hence the posting 🤣🤣🤣
There be hysterectomy talk in this one
<<Part 9 Part 11>> Masterlist
Logan seemed to have fucked most of the anger out of his system. Not all. He was still frosty but he now spoke with you, entertained your small talk.
“You hungry?” He asked, various fast food joints passing you by.
“Yeah.” The nurses had given you food but after certain activities you weren't going to pass anything greasy up.
“What’d’ya want?”
“Literally anything.” You scanned the street and pointed to the McDonalds. “That'll do.” Can't go wrong with a Maccas.
“What you thinking?”
“I dunno, do they still do the big n’ tasty?”
“No.” He pulled into the car park. “You want to go in and look at the menu?”
You did but time was of the essence. “As long as we're quick.”
“We can be quick.” He hummed, reversing into a space.
You both hopped out of the jeep and entered the building. It was fairly dull in here. Wasn't McDonald's colourful? Full of children's characters and clowns? It was grey and brown and sleek and boring.
Logan walked past you and tapped on a screen. It displayed all the different menu categories.
“McDonalds has screens now?” You laughed in disbelief. You tapped the ‘whats new’ option. Everything had gotten bigger. There were larger nugget meals and burgers and wraps.
Garlic cheese dippers, selects and all sorts of tasty goodness.
You chose yourself a triple cheeseburger meal and some nuggets on the side. He picked a chicken box, a Big Mac meal and an array of sides.
“You sure that's all you can eat?” You joked.
“Fast metabolism.”
“Are we going to be able to fit this all in the car?”
“Yeah.” He pulled out his card.
“Oh wait!” You quickly pressed the back button and ordered a strawberry milkshake. “A peace offering.”
Logan's brows pulled an inch but he didn't comment. Laura was yet to have a milkshake, diabolical behaviour on your part.
Your order number was 66. There were a lot of numbers before you so you perched on the back of an unoccupied booth.
Logan stood straight next to you, as though he was standing guard. So you decided to take advantage of that. Of him watching out for you. Your mind wandering to your ‘new’ body. You could heal. That was crazy. You still didn't understand the science behind that. The TVA had painlessly taken blood, spit and plasma samples. They had checked you for any diseases the Void could offer but the illuminati didn't. How did they have your materials to meld with the regenerative ones? Maybe they didn't. Surely they wouldn't just experiment with you though. Hopefully you weren't a guinea pig.
“How fast you reckon it's gonna be?” You questioned looking at your wrists.
“I dunno, twenty minutes max?” Logan turned from the screen to look at you.
“No.” You giggled. “Healing.”
“Oh.” His eyes flickered to where you had exposed your wrist. “I wouldn't know.”
You thrust it towards him. “Will you do the honours?”
“Are you being fucking serious?” He stepped back. “After everything I've said you think I'd just cut you?”
Okay okay, that was maybe a poor move on your part. “I guess?”
He rolled his eyes. “Ain't happening.”
You grumbled but formed a field, manipulating it into a thin disc, making sure one edge was paper thin. Even a paper cut could show you.
The slice you had planned didn't work so you had to try again and yes! Well, maybe don't be too happy.. what would Dave say?!
The cut was teeny. It was about ten centimetres but the little dot of blood told you it wasnt superficial. There was at least an element of actual harm.
“I hate you.” Logan folded his arms.
“No you don't, just watch.”
The cut did nothing.
The two of you just staring, transfixed, at your wrist.
“Maybe it has to be deepe-ahhh.”
You could feel a warmth, it was hot. Red hot. And your skin was stretching. You could feel it tying itself together. None of this was really visible but the line did close. You had imagined healing wouldn't hurt... Yet here you were.
You smirked up smugly. “It works!”
He huffed but you could see how happy he was. His eyes were lit and his lips had tugged upwards.
“Brilliant, eh?”
“It's pretty good.” He kissed your crown.
~~
You couldn't wait for the lift. Too excited. But taking the stairs wasn't an option so you did in fact wait for the lift.
Gosh it took fucking forever.
Logan hadn't let you out of his sight, barely leaving to collect the food bags. He was really fucking happy.
You were going to be safer than ever.
All he could imagine as you lay in the hospital bed was “what ifs”. He knew it was entirely possible that he could hurt you. He knew he had nightmares and had had to buy a new mattress before due to them. He knew his claws came out when you fucked so what was to stop them when he was scared?
He hated the ideas so he projected them onto the one that had hurt you.
Laura.
Laura was him.
He'd never deny that.
She was a younger version of him.
She was the one that hurt you and I'm a way that spared Logan.
She was to blame.
“Laura!” You called as soon as the elevator doors opened. “Baby?” Jogging towards her door.
You then halted.
“What-ho-how do I approach this?”
Logan didn't know. If he hurt you he'd be fucking distraught. He would kill himself a few times just to feel nothing, to stop the guilt. “Just be yourself?”
You let out a whine but carried on and knocked at the door. It was open. The pressure of your knock opened the door.
“Laura?” Your voice was unsure but you pushed the door the rest of the way and entered the dark home.
The curtains were drawn and the lights were all off making it almost impossible to see her slip through the bedroom door, looking worse for wear, and stick to the corner.
She was still wearing the clothes she had worn that night. Blood covering her hands and splattered across the mateiral. Her hair was unwashed, her eyes hollow, she hugged herself as she watched you move into the room.
“Baby.” You raised the cup. “I finally got you that milkshake. It's strawberry. I think chocolate can sometimes be a bit meh so strawberry is the next best.” Why were you rambling?
Laura's eyes flicked to the cup and then to your ever present shadow: Logan.
“I'm gonna… put it on the table?” You placed the cup in-between the two of you. “It's nice."
She didn't make any movements.
Let's just cut to the chase then. “Laura, I'm fine.” You gestured to yourself. “In fact Tony Stark was able to alter my genes. I heal like you and Logan.”
Her brow twitched.
“Look.” You repeated the field and sliced across your arm. Laura's eyes widened and she gasped at the blood. Ah fuck. Maybe you shouldn't have. “Laura, just watch. It takes a second then it w-orks.”
She watched your skin sew itself back together and her eyes watered.
“Baby,” You weren't going to stand there and let her cry. “I'm coming over.”
She didn't back up, letting you stride to her. You immediately pulled her into a bone crushing hug, and she sobbed into your shoulder.
“I'm fine and I don't blame you.” You repeated over and over again. “I love you.” She clutched onto your back, her body shaking with sorrow. “I don't blame you. You're my baby and I love you.”
Logan took a step forward causing her to tense.
“Lo stay back on this one.” You shushed into her ear, threading fingers through her hair. “It's okay Laura, he's not going to do anything.”
It took a while but she did ease back into the embrace, her tears slowly creasing.
Laura stepped back, looking at you with fat wet eyes. She gave you the tiniest nod and stepped around you to pick up the milkshake.
She handed it to you and you took a drink. “I'd never poison you, love.”
Laura seemed satisfied that you didn't die so took a drink herself.
You could see the thoughts zooming through her mind. It was cold. Thick. Tasted unlike anything she'd had before. But she liked it.
Laura drank silently from the straw and gave you the smallest hint of a smile when she released it.
“I knew you'd like it baby.” You grinned down at her. “Right, we have to get you cleaned up.”
~~
You'd run the bath for her and insist she hop in. Laura removed the crusty clothes and did follow your instructions. Neither of you cared that she was naked. You were past that.
“Is it warm enough?”
She nodded. You'd all become accustomed to cool water due to the Void so we're careful when running baths or turning the shower on. If it was too hot it felt suffocating.
You dunked her sponge into the soapy water and plucked her hands in yours to clean them. The movements were methodical. You cleaned her wrist, then her palms then her knuckles and lastly her nails. She's ripped off the false ones, leaving her natural nails on show.
When the water was a burgundy colour you let it out and refilled the tub. Laura sat and watched. “We're going to do your hair now. Tilt your head back.”
You flicked the tap to connect it to the shower head and turned it on. The water splurged out and you hummed softly to undercut the noise. Laura let you rinse her hair. There were bits of dry blood and a leaf? in it. El had said she had run away. Good on them for finding her and bringing her back. Good on El for replacing the mattress and bedding. You'd have to thank them. You loved them so dearly for looking after her.
Laura's eyes were tired by the time you'd finished. She stood and you wrapped a towel around her shoulders.
She sat on the lip of the bath so you could towel dry her hair with a smaller towel and comb it.
“Someone looks sleepy.” You kissed her nose. “C’mon, let's go to bed.”
She took a shaky breath and frantically shook her head.
“It's okay.” You shushed her. “I'll take you to bed but I won't get in.”
It broke your heart to see her allow that. You wanted nothing more than to tuck her under your chin and sleep soundly with your bubba.
Laura pulled on a night shirt and eased into the bed whilst you quickly ran the spray over the tub, erasing any signs of blood.
You found her in the bed waiting and sat next to her. Your hand smoothed her hair and you found yourself humming a long forgotten tune. It took seconds for her to sleep.
~~
Logan was on you in an instant - the second - you walked through the door. He squeezed you tightly.
“I'm okay.” You reassured him. “She's just-it's weird seeing her like that. She's normally so strong.”
The two of you parted and you let him kiss your forehead. “You're a good mom.”
You chuckled. “It's not easy.”
“No.” His head shook. “But you are.”
You don't know why but the determination in his eyes made yours water. You sniffed and looked away. “She likes milkshakes.”
“Of course she does.” He shrugged. “I do.” You rolled your eyes at his reply but before you could argue he spoke again. “I'm sorry. I've been a dickhead.”
“I can get why.” You placed a hand on his sideburn. “I do. But she's just a kid.”
He nodded and kissed your palm. “You have no idea what would've happened if I lost you again.”
You did know. He would've gone fucking feral. He would've killed Laura, then the others would've gotten involved and they would've fought and killed and not cared for the consequences. “You didn't lose me.”
He smiled and bent his neck to kiss you. You met him halfway on your tiptoes, replicating the same amount of need.
You both knew you were fucked. The world was fucked. Both were damaged goods. The chances of finding each other was next to none yet here you were. Kissing in your shared apartment.
“I love you.” You whispered into the kiss, Logan used that to his advantage and delved his tongue into your mouth. You hummed letting your own dance with his.
His hands cradled your face and spine. His palm was so big against your cheek, it made you feel safe. At home. He would protect you.
You had to break the kiss to breathe, panting against his ear as he kissed his way to your nape. He loved your nape and you loved the way he nipped and sucked it, it was him claiming you. Him owning you. And when he bit down on your neck all your feminism flew out of the window. You would do anything for this man.
The hand on your cheek had travelled down to your chest, cupping a breast and giving it a delicate squeeze. You were still wearing that Deadpool set, with no actual cup, so when his thumb grazed over your nipple you felt everything.
Logan wasn't one for slow. You knew that to be true because of the way he fucked you previously. But here he was taking his time. Savouring each hitch and groan that tumbled from your lips.
You were actually being a bit useless here, letting him kiss and fondle you without doing the same. Quick to remedy that your hands found their way to his belt, fingers grazing the skin under his vest, and you tugged him that bit closer.
Logan crowded you now. He was all you could see, hear, taste, smell and touch. He was all you needed.
“Logan.” You breathed onto his lips, kissing him again. His lips were smooth, a nice juxtaposition to his gruff hair. Oh, but you loved the scratch. He was so manly. So hairy. He was everything rolled into one.
You sensually licked his lips as your fingers unhooked his belt.
Logan's half lidded eyes watched you as you pushed your tongue further out, keeping eye contact as you bent to make your mark on his neck.
He groaned as you sucked, tongue swirling across the marred flesh. It then made its own way to his chest, kissing and sucking where the vest would allow.
You gave him one look and he immediately removed the fabric. “Good boy.” You whispered against his pecs. Kissing them and letting your teeth catch certain areas.
Logan watched with a baited breath and you slowly sunk to your knees. The unbuckled belt sitting at his hips as you unpopped the button, pulling the zipper all the way down.
He let out a shudder when you nuzzled your nose against the visible boxers. Tugging the jeans down so you could kiss him through the fabric. You'd never get over how big he was.
He was long and thick and if you thought his dick looked comically large in your hand you knew it would be difficult to swallow down.
Still though, you teased him through the fabric. Kissing his head and sucking the wet patch. It was gloriously salty.
“Y/N.” He muttered his hand making a home in your hair.
You looked up at him as you pulled him from the boxers. His mouth was permanently set in a small ‘o’ but it widened when you licked a stripe from shaft to tip.
You loved this. This fearsome warrior. This feral beast. The reason to genetically alter you, to ensure he was happy. Was putty in your hands. He would do anything for you.
Maybe it was fucked up at at this precise moment you understood his plight. Why he was so angry. Why he had taken it out on Laura. She was technically to blame - never in your eyes though - and you got why he snapped.
You sucked the head again before delving deeper. Yeah, you were right, it was far too big but you had hands for a reason.
Pumping with your mouth and hand you make sure to be delicate. For some reason you wanted this to be soft. You wanted to treat him. Your Logan hadn't minded a bit of teeth but you tried your hardest to keep them away.
He was trying to suppress his moans, trying to keep cool but he was dying. You were perfect.
How were you this perfect?
How did you know what he needed?
Every fucking day!
It was like you were a mind reader.
Maybe you were.
Maybe they'd altered you that way as well.
Logan's hips urged to jut forward but he didn't want to ruin this. This was something he hadn't really experienced. This was sweet. This was soft.
He was quick to fuck but no this wasn't that. You were being too nice for this to be called ‘fucking’. He hates to say it because you were literally just sucking his dick but this was definitely on the “making love” spectrum.
“You're perfect.” He groaned out. “I fucking love you.”
You hummed in response and he had to quickly pulled himself out. He could've spilt right there and then.
“Bed.” He ordered. “Now.”
He wasn't going to cum in your mouth, no, he was going to fill you up. He was going to fuck you so full of his cum. He wanted you dripping.
You frowned cutely, your lips swollen and pouting was fucking amazing. Your cheeks were hot and your eyes were glassy so as he lifted you - pulling you closer - he got to see you. To really see how messy you were. Hair out of place and a line of drool on your chin. Fuck.
He wanted you.
He was going to lock you in the room.
You were his.
No one else's.
“I'm going to fuck you full of my seed.” His lips spoke against yours, not kissing you just touching you. “I'm going to fill you up.” He'd never felt like this before. “Breed you.”
You shuddered and smiled but then your brows pinched.
“Logan,” You pulled back to look him in the eye. “I- I don't have a womb.”
The man stopped in his tracks. “What?”
You chuckled. “Why else do you think we've been fucking the way we have with no consequences?”
He made a noise. It made sense. He hadn't smelt the change in your cycle like he had the girls. “Yeah, I guess.”
“I didn't realise you didn't know.” You looked guilty. “I'm sorry.”
“No.” He kissed the corner of your mouth. “Don't be sorry.”
You groaned non sensually. “Have I just killed the mood?”
“No.” He shook his head and kissed your nose. You knew he was lying.
“Logan. Don't shut me out, be honest.”
“I'm just surprised.” He was truthful. “My Y/N had hers.”
You bit your lip. “If I tell you what happened the mood will definitely be killed.”
He was curious. “C’mon.” He tucked himself back into his boxers and pulled his jeans back up before leading you to the sofa. You sat down, tucking your legs under your chin. He was sitting facing you, giving you his full attention.
How do you say this in a way that won't set him off? Couldn't you go back to sucking his dick? That was so nice. You sighed. “The scar on my back...”
He lent forward, elbows on his knees. “I'm going to get angry again aren't I?”
“Stryker had this man in his possession. He could make you see whatever he wanted you to see. Logan didn't know it was me.”
//
It was confusing to wake up in the infirmary. Jean and Beast looking down at you.
“Y/N.” Jean breathed in a sigh of relief. “I was worried.”
“You always fix me up.” You joked, feeling very sore. Your back and stomach were aching. It felt alien to be in this much discomfort.
“We had to perform a procedure on you.” Beast clasped one of your hands. “It's very serious. You will be fine but we had to make a decision.”
“Okay?” You were even more confused, trying to sit yourself up a little. The pain in your stomach didn't allow for that so you flopped back down.
“You were pierced by Logan and flung across the facility. When you landed you hit your front. A piece of piping damaged your womb and we were unable to save the organ.”
As Hank spoke you got flashes of the scene. You didn't recall a pipe but you remembered the agony, calling for an evac. Begging for Logan's help.
“To save my womb..?” You slowly understood. “So I've had a hysterectomy?”
Jean tried to sooth you, placing a hand on your shoulder. “It is a small price to pay, we could've tried to save it and risked infection, risked your health.”
“I'm not upset.” You told her matter of factly. “I'm just trying to figure out what happened.” You weren't upset. It wasn't a thing you'd thought of at this age. You weren't really the mothering type. Yeah, you looked after the students but that role was more ‘wine aunt'. You weren't fit to be a mother. Logan would be a good dad though. Oh, you'd have to tell him.
What would he say?
He'd naturally be upset he hurt you but would he forgive himself just to dislike being with you? What if you being unable to give him children was an issue?
~~
You'd been transferred to your room. It was lovely and cosy. Blankets everywhere, pillows strewn and the wooden accents of Xavier's mansion felt more like home than being with your mother.
You wondered how she was. What would she say about you being barren?
Sitting and sulking was how you spent your days. Food was brought to you - as you couldn't really move - by different members of your family. Scott brought flowers, Ororo made you a gorgeous curry, Jubilee gifted you a teddy.
Each member of the team was welcome but you were waiting for him.
They'd all told you he was taking it hard, drinking more, fighting more, caring less and less about his safety. He felt like shit but you didn't blame him.
You felt guilty for not realising sooner it wasn't Logan. Your fields could stop his claws, they had in training. The two of you were paired up a lot to show the newbies how to fight. You worked well together and it was only a matter of time and rolling about on the floor before he asked you out.
You decided at the end of the first week that if he wanted kids you wouldn't make him stay. You couldn't. You'd push him away, if needs be.
It was day twelve when he knocked at the door. You could move, had showered - careful with your stitches - and dressed yourself for the first time.
“Y/N.” He spoke by the door.
You looked up from the Hobbit, smiling wide. “Logan, hi.”
“I'm so so sorry.” He eased his way in, looking uncomfortable in your room in a way he had never previously.
“Logan, it wasn't you, love.” You closed the book, placing it on your nightstand. “It could've been anyone.”
“But I hurt you.”
“I'm okay.” Wasn't exactly the best argument but it was true.
He shuffled over to your bed and sat delicately at your side, his feet still touching the floor. “I couldn't face you. Couldn't see you bruised because of me.”
The bruising had gone down. You were looking normal again. “Again, babe, I don't blame you.”
“You should.” His eyes left yours and he looked at the floor.
The need to comfort him was so strong but you held back. Remembering yourself. You couldn't get too lost. Not when you were lacking. “Do you want kids?”
The questions surprised both of you. You didn't mean for it to tumble out of your mouth but it had and now it was sitting heavily amongst you.
Logan looked back at you perplexed. His eyebrows met but he stared into your eyes, considering your question.
He'd almost killed you. He could've killed you. His hands harmed you and you were asking if he wanted kids. Yo- he loved you so much. He should stay away. You'd get hurt again he knew you would.
But he loved you. Whenever he imagined a future - and that wasn't often - he saw you with him. And now he saw a little girl and boy. The boy looked like him and the girl looked like you but they acted like the other parent. He could see a soft mummy's boy being coddled far too much and a cute feral girl who was ready to take on the world. He could picture them.
Picture you full with your child. His child. You were glowing.
“I think we'd be great parents.” He hadn't realised his eyes were watering, quickly swatting the tears away. He'd almost destroyed that future, the one you were offering him.
You bit your lip and nodded silently. “I think we should break up.”
~~
Four months later he burst into your bedroom seething.
“Are you fucking serious?!” He yelled.
You jumped, snapping the Lord of the Rings shut. “Logan?”
He had left when you broke up with him. Becoming a renegade, a fighter, a mercenary. Whatever it took to forget you.
It wasn't until Storm needed assistance - fighting off the brotherhood by the cul-de-sac Logan was passing through - when she told him.
“You ended it because you can't have kids?!” His hands were on his hips and he was pacing back and forth. “I thought I…” He sighed shakily. “I thought I fucked up. I thought the idea of me wanting children with you after almost fucking killing you was terrifying.”
“Lo, I can't have children.” You explain. “I will die and you will live and that's it. If you find someone that can give you kids then you won't be as lonely. You could have a family.”
He stopped pacing and stared at you. “That’s the most stupid argument I've ever fucking heard.”
It was but it was all you had.
“I know but I didn't want you to feel trapped.” You sat up and he suppressed a gasp because you were wearing one of his shirts. After all this time you still wore his clothes, it did something to him. Inside his chest ached. “Down the line when you wanted a child and I couldn't give you one… I didn't want you to resent me.”
“I would never.” He vowed. “I have spent these past months trying to forget that I fucking love you. I could never resent you.”
Tears oozed from your eyes and you wiped them away. “I'm sorry.”
He didn't want to break this easily. Didn't want to give in but you were crying. His girl was crying. Logan scooped you up in a hug and kissed your forehead. “Don't ever lie to me again. I don't care what it's about. We'll handle it together.”
You nodded. “Okay. I promise.”
\\
Logan sat back, resting his spine against the sofa. "It's okay." He decided. "We already have Laura, we don't need any more."
You smiled. "So you forgive her?"
"'course I do." He heaved a sigh. "Just gotta actually apologise to her."
"I love you." You leant over and kissed his brow. "You look so sexy when you're grovelling."
He rolled his eyes and playfully shoved you off.
Part 11
@littlecrowtime @geeksareunique @lovelyvaderx @br3nt-12 @st1nkabutt @maximumchilddreamland @catiwinky @twinkywink @ravenmedows @electricreader @racetrackheart @vulgarfuckinvirgo77 @bisasterbisexual @tzurue @narniansmagic @seamlessepiphany @4ria790 @caramelatae @mei-simp @slightlymediocree
#james logan howlett#marvel#logan howlett#logan x reader#logan#logan 2017#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#the wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine x men#logan howlett x reader#wolverine fanfiction
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I'm surprised by how open you are about your views on 'controversial' topics. As someone who works in a hospital and a certain group of university in the US, I had to sign a contract that prevents me from speaking out on these matters. How do you manage discussing such topics in your role?
I mean where I'm from, we have much bigger issues than just someone's opinions. Idk what controversial topics youre talking about, but i dont be just going about and giving my opinions to everyone and anyone. No, not everyone gets it and my time is far much more valuable than to talk sense to an ignorant person who will just make it look like im banging my head against the wall. Also because opinions are constantly changing because Im also in a growing age and im still learning new things everyday. if you were to see my views from 10 years back, youd be surprised. but then again, i was still a teen back then and i was easily influenced so back then i used to think being a feminist is being "anti man" or that being "feminine" is wrong and weak, which is not true obviously.
again idk what controversial topics youre talking about, but im gonna take a guess its about the gaza genocide being comitted by israel and look, there is only one fact, not opinion but FACT! and thats that Israel is murdering Palestinians actively, torturing them, doing ethnic cleanising and still trynna defend themselves for murdering babies in the worst way possible, and then some. there is no other side to this- there is no excuse for israel to do this, not now, not then and not ever. they are comitting crimes WAY WORSE THAN THEIR OWN HOLOCAUST, and its so enraging to see how nonchalant they are about it, how they have ZERO humanity, how they are actually worse than the NAZIS- imagine being worse than Nazis.
now back to your question- how do i manage giving my two cents on this? I'm Muslim, and even if I wasnt i think its the pretty obvious and sane thing to do, but Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: "Whoever sees something evil should change it with his hands. If he cannot, then with his tongue; and if he cannot do that, then in his heart- and that is the weakest of faith"
So if anyone of you can go volunteer in Gaza, or give humanatarian aid or donate, then he should do so. If you are not in a position to do that, then you should speak up, go to protests, post on your socials and raise awareness and keep up the boycott. If you are not even able to do that for whatever reason, then at least in your heart you should know that this is evil, go pray for palestinians, and keep on reminding yourself so that you dont get brainwashed into any western propaganda ever again about how Muslims are just deserving of this horrendous hate crime on such a level.
secondly, my reason for speaking up about this is because lets just forget for a moment that palestinians are majorly muslims and this is islamophobia. lets just consider them humans, okay? u could hate muslims adults all u want, but kids dont really have that much of a grasp on religion right? so, do you think that if Israel has and continues to comit a massacre on this level while the entire world watches, while everyone calls them out on their shit, while they have repeatedly documented their own disgusting tortures and crimes against these palestinians, have been called out by UN and the INTERNATIONA CRIMINAL COURT numerous times and they still continue on with this genocide, then what makes you think that you or i are safe?
If we let this continue on, if we dont speak up, then this is just giving a free pass to not only Israel but also anyone to go absolutely batshit crazy on any other country. The very fact that youre not in gaza and sitting in your home safe and cozy is by pure luck. But luck runs out eventually. And karma comes. What goes around, comes around. You stay quiet today over this matter, you dont try to help palestinians, then no one's gonna come for you too.
#gaza genocide#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#free palestine#free gaza#palestine#eyes on rafah#gaza strip#fundraising
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unearthed.
jean kirstein x fem!reader, modern a.u., buzzfeed unsolved a.u.
summary ; you dont know just how many watchful souls listen to you and jean speak, waiting, watching. maybe it's just you, but the prison air feels warmer. warnings ; mentions of violence, a little horror (? literally just the tiniest bit), talks of death. cringe humor. a/n ; happy halloween my beloveds. crazy that halloween and diwali were on the same day. kinda poetic lowkey. im DEAD TIRED so ykw that means! happy fireflyfic day! (and happy diwali to those who celebrate :)) taglist ; @holding-infinity-and-a-book , @mrsnobodynobody , @hopeless-anti-romantic , @jeanscremebrulee , @berrijam , @happxme , @cherrypieyourface , @imgayandshesanime , @moonmalice , @kivernova , @potaho3frog , @xakilicious , @katestrophes , @gojo-ana , @ppushable , @zombiefiedskeivy
masterlist is in pinned post! ✿ enter my taglist! ✿
The prison wasnt eerie, which should’ve struck you as concerning.
No, rather, the opposite, the fact that it was a little too comfortable, a little too lived-in to be considered ghostly was what you found…weird. Or maybe it was jean’s presence next to yours, the coldness of the air masked by his warmth and stolen jacket perched over your shoulders that made the air feel a little more breathable.
Connie and marco are huddled over the camera, speaking in hushed whispers - some technical jargon that your brain is too tired to recognize.
Jean shifted from beside you, adjusting his own coat - not stolen - and thumbed the straps over his chest that snuggly held a smaller camera so it fit better over him. He cleared his throat when he caught you zoning out, “know your lines?” he asked, a prompt for you to speak your mind.
You smiled cheekily, looking at him under the dim, sole flashlight. “By heart. Scared, jean-boy?”
“Dont call me that on camera, please,” he says, eyes screwing shut when you shine your light straight into them.
“Have i ever embarrassed you? You do that to yourself more than i do,” “okay that’s…intentional. It helps with the character im going for.” you snort. “Damsel in distress?” he scoffs, “i had to save you last time, remember?” “that was just an excuse for you to hold my hand, you can admit it. The cameras arent rolling yet,” you tease, bumping your shoe with his worn-out converses. He lets you. There isnt much he doesnt let you do to him.
“Alright, cameras are gonna start in three…two.. One!” marco’s voice is characteristically calming, even at a higher pitch.
Your shoulders stand straighter as you look into the lens, placing the flashlight right under your chin. “hello, watchers! Welcome back to another episode of Unearth - a series where we try to gather evidence of the paranormal to see who wins - a believer,” you say, pointing the light under jeans chin briefly before settling it back under yours, “or a skeptic.” “it’s not a competition,” “right. Of course not.” you say, winking into the camera. Its jean’s turn to speak, his voice a low baritone, and you can see his breath becoming foggy into the now november air. “We are here today at the Marley Prison, rumored to be the host of seventy percent of the state’s most wanted criminals since the early eighteen hundred's. And we’re standing infront of it now and it’s fucking creepy,” “right, and it was also incredibly overcrowded, so-” “-so just, a terrible place to live in.” “yeah, but they killed people,” “...right. Most of them.” “i’ve heard it smells like shit,” you say, almost forgetting that this might get broadcasted, but jean’s eyes on you seemed to have that effect. forgetting the size of your own beating hear, forgetting where you were, melting away any proof of life except his.
He smirks, looking straight at the camera once more. “Right, that’s why i have-” he pulls out a small spray bottle. From what you could read, the text flashed, “FLOWER POWER!” and your smile turned into a laugh. “- this air freshener right here.” “right. That’ll protect us.” “if i get possessed i’d want.. It to smell, like-” “-like flower power-” “right.” now the both of you are laughing, shoulders shaking.
“Great. Let’s head inside, guys,” marco says, smile on his face, and eren puts the camera down to view what he had gathered.
“After you,” jean says, his shoes scruffing against the harsh stones underneath, spreading his arm infront of you as a guide.
“Pussy,” you muttered, making him sputter.
-
“Alright,” you say, settling on the cold hard ground. Cell number 509, holding the last inmate of the entire prison who passed away in the very same, cramped room. Only a mattress and a sink to keep him company, a small, hand-sized window on the wall opposite to the door, meant to be locked at all times.
“Dangerous people in this place,” you say, mostly to yourself. Your partner was on the ground floor of the vicinity, in another building entirely, investigating by himself. You decided to split up to see if that might spite any spirits to act, planning on asking questions to the different people that were barely alive, living in the space so freely disturbed. The camera crew were also downstairs, waiting on the two of you to be done. All you had was an old walkie-talkie that connected to jean’s.
“You there?” his voice - filled with static and concern - reaches the confines of the prison cell. “Yep. where are you?” you ask, sitting in the middle of the floor, pulling your knees up to your chest, your flashlight flickering. “Im at the uh… that punishment place.” “ah. Im in Dean Cooper’s cell.” “oh,” he says. “Why dont we just use our phones for this part?” he asks, a beep following him. You smile. “I dont know, actually. Do you- should we?” “yeah that’d be.. I mean, better communication. Audio..quality - there are so many bugs here,” he speaks as you switch your phone on, dialing his number. He picks up not even a second in.
“Okay, can you hear me better?” he asks, and you rest your back against the thick wall. The door - heavy and cold - is fully closed so you could get a better experience, the full creeps. You nod, knowing he cant see it. “yep. Its crazy that people had to live like this,” you speak, holding the microphone part of your device close to your mouth, his voice on speaker. Something alive to fill the walls, more than your own presence. “Yeah. well it’s crazy that they committed so many crimes, honestly,” “i know.”
You’re supposed to be filming. Your camera is rolling already and youre supposed to be speaking to a presumed dead person but a holy one is roaming downstairs without you and all you have is his voice as proof. “Hey,” jean calls out, and you thank good network reception and technology to have his voice be so clear, without cuts, real against your hand. “Im at the uh… what’s it called? The place where they could talk to their loved ones right now.” “ah,” “it feels weird.” a beat of silence. “Weird how?” you ask, your voice quiet.
“Like-” theres a shifting sound at the end of the line, followed by a slight creak. “- weird in the sense that… i dont know, like, people still loved and cared for quote-unquote bad people,”
You hum. Your head now also rests against the wall, too unaware to keep it up, too comfortable to find your own muscles. “I dont know. You’re always better with the words and shit.” he says, and you give him a small laugh. “Words and shit?” “yeah like, you know what to say.” “i mean, these people are dead, jean, theres a real small chance they can even hear us.” “i know, but like, even to alive people.” its almost 3 am, your phone says, and your heart increases in size, a little too comfortable against your ribcage.
Have you ever felt that before? the muscle that’s supposed to be contained in a confined space now opens itself up and you have no choice but to let it. It grows, bigger, until youre body is tattered and all that remains as proof is your heart, big and timid, still beating, waiting for jean’s eyes to look at it. You havent. You wonder if any of the people half-alive in this place have.
“I mean, love is alot of patience,” you start, your fingers fiddling with the end of your jacket. A stray piece of thread. You hear him humming in agreement and continue, “maybe they just… couldnt say it. How many times have you been able to not say that you love someone, y’know? And then you get the chance to but then it gets lost in all the other unimportant things and maybe that… maybe that’s love. The unimportant things.” you say. Your fingers feel funny, tingly, hearing his voice saying something at the end of your sentence. Youre too caught up to say something important as a reply.
So you settle. Listen. “Like, imagining this place alive… y’know. Like not in a creepy way but in like… it’s - like so much time passed, and so much was said here.” he says. His voice holds importance in your hands, and you trace shapes into the side of your phone with your thumb as if its the back of his hand and you’ve taken it in yours, cold and patient, unimportant. Tracing shapes that cant be seen. He hears them though. It’s in every pause he takes, every breath he hears on your end of the line and he wonders if you know how your alive-ness makes him braver than the night. Brave enough to know that speaking is something to be accomplished, that you’re listening.
He stares at the glass window in front of him, sitting on the chairs that prisoners used to sit on with hope in their eyes. At least, that’s how he imagines it. Theres a small hole in the window, enough only to catch a couple breaths and silenced sentences and he can only imagine how the other person mightve felt, seeing their loved one behind a blurry and unkept screen.
“Im not going to empathize with them, obviously, but, i feel like… i mean, obviously this place was built to be inhumane. The fact that they even included that section of the prison, though.. I dont know. it's kinda nice.” you say, and he closes his eyes to pretend youre in front of him. Its not that hard, in all honesty, because your voice fills his ears and he’d rather listen to proof of the living - with her shoe kicking his, with her voice teasing his shrieks - rather than the minute but present proof of the dead. He knew someone - barely alive souls, watching - had to be listening to your conversation but he also knew that he was listening to it too and he’d rather commit to the cold of your familiar hands than the unfortunately lived-in warmth of this place.
“It is.” he agrees, his chin tilting up, his shoulders relaxing. One hand in his pocket, the other holding his phone, microphone to his lips with the speaker on. He wasnt alone. His phone’s screen is blurry and unkept, but he wasnt alone.
“Y’know that’s what i find kind of… i dont know, comforting? About like, something this hopeless. That, like.. There’s a recreational room that they had. Like the option was there for them to sit down there and talk, maybe. I dont know how that wouldve gone-” you say, voice ending in a self-aware laugh, making him smile, “-but it was there, right. Same with this communication room…thingie. Like the option of loving is there.”
Your voice floats against the walls of the room, touches the glasses separating him and the world, before coming back to him. His chest feels funny, more aware that it’s there. Not just as an organ and something trivial that helps him breathe but now as something larger than himself. Something less candid, hidden under layers of clothing and skin built to be thick, raised to be soft, and it almost lays there, in front of him, inhaling the sound of your voice like it’s a new source of oxygen. And it grows. Alive.
“Option of loving,” he echoes, eyes now fluttering open and looking at the expanse of the tattered ceiling above him, spotting shapes. Option of loving. “Like even now there’s like.. Im sitting here, and there’s notches on the wall. Like the… four standing lines and then a slash through them. Like the hope of getting out isnt gone. Its… cool how humans just do that.” you say. He clings onto every word, his own little prayer against the dark, unsaid but important. Option of loving.
He looks back infront of him, staring at the glass window again. Theres gunk in the corners of it and spiderwebs claiming it as their home in a place as haunted as this. “And even if i dont… believe in ghosts it’s like…cool to think about in the sense that, i dont know, everything is a proof of life. Y’know?” you ask, ready for confirmation knowing that he’d provide it to you. Anything you’d ask.
“Thats… i didnt see it like that,” he admits, “i mean i just saw it as like… confirmation that dead people are dead and that if there’s an afterlife we have to chose a right way to live, something we’re proud of, so that we dont regret it when we’re… dead and roaming the halls, waiting to be found, yknow?” “like grief.” you answer, and he shifts in his seat, getting a bit more comfortable. He nods, knowing you wont see it. “Yeah. kind of.” “that’s…poetic. We should start a podcast-” “-shut up,” and both your voices are broken up by laughs, short and warm and proof of being alive and roaming the halls, waiting to be found.
There’s a dog howling in the distance. No light in the room that you’re in, barely any air, coolness of november flush against your skin despite your layers. His voice holds you, a little blanket, cocooning you around yourself. “Hey, you’re supposed to come find me,” you say, reminding him of his task of peering into the halls, asking ghosts and bugs to come closer to him. Whatever’s alive or half-dead or half-alive or half-already-living. “And you’re supposed to play twenty questions with your hot date,” “i think he’s pretty cold, actually,” you say, he laughs. Another shift in fabric, another creak - he’s gotten up from his place on the chair, now warmed, soon to be claimed by the prison’s musty air, but for now it’s there. Fully alive.
“My battery’s gonna die.” he says, voice a little solemn, his footsteps squeaking against the floor, rubber on hard cement. “We have walkie-talkies,” you provide, your voice full around it’s edges with your own smile and jean almost asks why youre smiling, but refrains. He’ll ask when he finds you. Or maybe he’ll tell you he’s in love with you. Or maybe the words will get lost under all the other unimportant things that he has to say to you.
Or maybe that’s just what love is. The unimportant things, layered, hidden, chest and heart, large, warm, growing.
#sorry this is bad guys#if it is dont tell me pleas#jean kirstein x reader#jean kirstein#jean kirschstein x reader#aot#jean kirstein x you#shingeki no kyojin#attack on titan#jean kirschtein#fireflys rambles#marco bodt#connie springer#eren yeager
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It'll be nice if you would be able to do head cannons of the TADC crew having to deal with a reader that has a biting on things problem have it and looks like a dog/pup (depending if you want to set an age range)
Like no one knows if they're just really playing into their part of being a annoying gremlin or they had a bad habit of chewing things in the real world then it being intensivize since being trapped in the digital prison
TADC cast x dog!reader who bites things! (Platonic!)
Wasnt sure whether to go with a dog or puppy reader but UHUH!!
Written on mobile! Gonna knock out some requests then I might work on art today!
This may be on the short side, I hope that's okay! I've been having some struggles thinking up hcs for TADC stuff the past few days <\3
Probably the first TADC post where I actually write the character segments in order (of them being listed) instead of bouncing around LMAO
CAINE:
You know how some people blow bubbles for their dogs to play with them, letting them chase and pop them? I feel like he'd do that with you and bubble (whether or not you view this as bubble torment is up to you, personally I don't think bubble would give too much of a darn).. may or may not help with your biting habit, or maybe it makes it worse? Really I think it depends !
Gives loads of hesd oats and chin scratches, I think!
POMNI:
Has probably caught you chewing on the dangle... bell.. end parts... of her hat when she has her back to you. Too nice to scold you but tries to politely redirect you to chewing on something else that isnt a part of her person..! Tries to ask why you chew on things, but even you don't seem to know the source so you're both just kind of.. stumped.. definitely not mean about reminding you of her boundaries
RAGATHA:
Probably tries to find you a oral.. fidget.. thing.. I forgot the proper term of them but you know how theres some stuff that's made specifically for oral fixiations and chewing and stuff? Like those chewable necklaces and stuff? Those! I think ragatha would try to find you one of those, or a safe stand in! Though.. does it really need to be safe if this is your digital body...? Has probably made you a blanket with bones on it, or maybe a bone shaped plushie
JAX:
Honestly whether or not he gets annoyed by your chewing habit is 50/50, I think! I mean it's not like he can say anything, I personally hc that he has a huge habit of fidgeting with anything and everything (though... I tend to write jax to be a bit of a hypocrite, given the "I like watching funny things happen to people" and then immediately getting mad when something funny happens to him)
Do I think he would let you chew on him, or any if his belongings? No, absolutely not. But would he grab something from someone else? Oh yeah most likely
Probably plays fetch/catch with you, if that's something you're interested in, though he suggests it in a way that you csnt tell if he is teasing you or not
KINGER:
Obligatory he gives off dad vibes so hes a dog person (is that a dad trait?? Or was I just exposed to that a lot in media as a kid?) So he kind of gravitates towards you because "dog :)". Obviously he knows you're a person, and he doesn't really do anything to treat you as anything less outside of that! Honestly you guys probably develop a father/kid dynamic, maybe!
"Hes just a little guy," he says after you take a comical bite out of the circus' walls (imagine the trope in cartoons where there's a bite out of something and theres the teeth marks)
Honestly doesnt care if you chew on his robe, either he truly doesnt mind or hes just too spaced out to notice. Tends to flip flop between those
ZOOBLE:
Similar to jax, whether or not they get onto you for the chewing is a coin toss. I think it really depends on how zooble is feeling that day! They tend to get more irritated than the others, I think, at least going off of the pilot. And they dont want to upset you, truly, they dont because you guys are friends! But zooble really values their belongings and personal space so they may get a little short with you if you decide to munch on those! Though, I think that despite the "I dont care" attitude, theyd try to find an alternative that works for you both!
GANGLE:
Too shy and sweet to tell you to stop if you start chewing on something you dont want her to; if she does eventually bring it up its probably after the fact.. tries to talk it out with you to figure out why you do that.. is it a stim? A simple habit? Something else entirely? But you dont seem to know the answer... I think she would do what ragatha does and tries to find you something you use long term as a chew; or maybe even tries to find you a habit if it's one you personally want to work on! Though she won't force you to change, if it's not something you want
#tadc x reader#the amazing digital circus x reader#digital circus x reader#caine x reader#pomni x reader#ragatha x reader#jax x reader#kinger x reader#zooble x reader#gangle x reader
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