#i wasn't always like this really
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#oops im rambling#am just talking abt my mental helth in the tags#i have no motivation to do anything#i must force myself to do everything#i spend all my time alone#bc my parents keep me locked in this house#and i dont have the energy to fight for myself even a little bit#but i lay down and look at images on my phone#and in the silent peaceful moments#it almost doesn't feel like im wasting away in my cage#but thats not the point of this#i just mean to say that i just lay in bed all day#and i cant bring myself to do things i used to enjoy#like reading or writing or making art#im trying to make more art but thats only so i can make money#not really for my own enjoyment#i don't even watch tv or anime anymore#its too hard#i wasn't always like this really#the only thing i do consistently now is journaling#i dont even feel sad abt it but i just c dont feel like doing anything
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The new generation leaders
#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#jiang cheng#jin zixuan#nie huaisang#mo dao zu shi#the untamed#my art#i redesigned them a bit again what gives!!#i always said i wasn't too fond of my jzx and nhs but i think i like these versions!#i really like nhs with shorter hair or hairdos#and jzx with straighter hair and these kind of jewleries look both rich but also humble which is exactly what i wanted to hit#jiang cheng would pop out more in full body ver but he's always kinda same-ish he just works#messy yllz wwx is the goat and i will not have him any other way thank you#also lwj being as simple and elegant and flowy as possible...yes please
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Bros before Ho(oh my god is that Hanguang-Jun?)
[First]ย Prevย <โ-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#WWX really was unhinged for saying he was going to always be at JC's side and then immediately asking about LWJ.#The D in ADHD stands for Distractible. The second D stands for DooowawawaWaaaah (ADHDers know what I mean)#Their conversation is such a knife twist in this flashback. WWX truly and genuinely does mean it when he says he wants to support JC#And that JC hopes for that too! Tragedies hit the hardest when you can feel the lost futures characters would have together#And I feel it here in this scene so painfully. There's complicated feelings between them but it wasn't what broke them apart.#The rumours and the twisted family dynamics that tried to pit them against each other likely wouldnt have worked.#It set the stage for JC to have an inferiority complex which then grows into his responsibility complex.#WWX even calls it out! That JC has to be the responsible one in the dynamic.#And it sucks to be in that unequal position with a sibling or a not-sibling.#You don't get the love *or* acknowledgement but you do get the pressure to be the 'better one' in the face of the other's misbehaviour.#But I digress. There was a world where they did became the twin heroes of yunmeng jiang and stayed together.#And we'll never see it. That world is gone now. And just like Lotus pier -even if they tried to rebuild it - they will never be the same.
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some sam drakes :)
nate's theme 4.0 came up on my playlist while I was working on commissions and oh boy. that piano line about a minute in to it still gets me emotional shshdshs
#ANYWAY. sam's role as a sort of narrative ghost. fun! fascinating! devastating! someone play mikky ekko's who are you really#he's your brother he's a stranger he's all you had you & you have to relearn who he is--- i gotta lay down. jesus christ#uncharted#sam drake#GOD i fucking love the uncharted soundtracks. the strings! the chorus in the 4.0 theme!!! wind instruments!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aughghghgGHGH#LMAO i have such fond memories of this game. it's the only uncharted game ive personally played (ive always been Too Broke#to afford a console) (when the game came out my roommate at the time had a ps4 and my OTHER housemate had the game#and wasn't interested in playing it so I would play it at like 2am haha) (oh those were the days. the days when i could stay up late#like that and bounce back from it in the morning)
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i lied i had like atleast one more weston thought to expell from my brain, before i miss this boat entirely. we're heading to green lands woooo
#god i had a fever this entire morning and afternoon so I think it was my inability to do anything that finally pushed me to finish this#seriously it took a month... disapointing#more disappointing is that i didn't have the time to tear up the internet in order to find what a professors break room looked like in 1899#if there was such a thing#really tragic#ah yea welp im very glad it's out there atleast. I want to release all of my black butler stuff so badly but guh...#tragedy has struck and i have been inspired to finally make a person project of my own#so that's taking a long time#but not to worry after like 5 years and some pondering i know well that black butler will always be one half of my brain#coooool#anyway i got more dorky stuff coming I hope??? wasn't lying before I am thinking of the midfords#and ill pray i can find the strength to get everything done soon#hope my rants are more tasteful after months of absence if ur still here#kuroshitsuji#black butler#kuroshitsuji fanart#fanart#sebastian michaelis#digital art#animation#animatic#video#weston college arc#black butler anime#black butler agares
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i wonder how many more people would've vehemently hated gale right off the bat on full release if his introduction conversation had stayed like this or something similar
#i wasn't realy involved in any discussions during ea but i do know a lot of people didn't trust or like gale then#but i always really loved the wind imagery he uses with his phrasing here#and the way he casually walks out of the portal like it's effortless and then stands over you literally talking down to you#in the full release your first impression of him is a guy stuck with no way to free himself without your help#then when you do help him he's very friendly and kind and doesnt come across as threatening at all. and you talk to him on level ground#even his most dismissive remark about the player's magic or lack of it just after meeting him doesn't come across as strong as this one imo#also. i have like no other clips from ea saved other than this one lol#baldur's gate#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#โ
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Saturday Night - 2024
October 11th 1975
Gilda: "You get to be the hot one." Laraine: "Jane's the hot one." Jane: "I'm the mom... The still fuckable mom."
#Saturday Night#Saturday Night 2024#Spoilers#Saturday Night Spoilers#The Not Ready for Prime Time Players#dan aykroyd#chevy chase#Jane Curtin#garrett morris#Laraine Newman#Gilda Radner#Cory Michael Smith#Ella Hunt#Dylan O'Brien#Emily Fairn#Lamorne Morris#Kim Matula#my gifs#movie edits#Movies : Biopic#Movies : Saturday Night#I like it very much they did a great job and not just the not ready for prime time players#everyone was great I am so excited to watch it again hopefully soon#Also as a Jane fan I am SOOO glad the let her be fun and playful#I think Jane gets a wrap for being very strict and straight when really she's just discipline and hard working#but she is also insanely quick witted and funny and playful and the movie portrayed that which I love#I also loved that the movie wasn't about the not ready for prime time players it was about Loren and trying to pull the show together#but the cast was still there and they each had a moment#I also loved that the girls were almost always together playing around in the background#SNL 50
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going through some old logs, and I need you to understand just how truly unhinged early 2010s RP omegle was.
genuinely you could stay on there for hours with just one person, hashing out complex traumatic backstories, drawn-out love confessions, detailed action scenes...collaboratively describing graphic violence, past abuse, comfort, hurt/comfort, hurt/no comfort, any number of sex acts...and then one of you would be like, "oh haha it's 2AM! I have to sleep :(" and the other person would say, "omg saaaame. :( gnight!!!" and then you'd exit the chat and never speak to each other again, and this was. fine.
you could just spend an entire evening shoving your wretched, bleeding soul into a chat log with someone you'd never meet or learn the name of, achieve some form of emotional catharsis, and then go about your day or night like this was an average way to spend your time.
I'm really normal about this, actually
#sbs rambles#omegle#it wasn't always serious ofc. there was a lot of lighthearded silliness#but I usually went in for the darker sadder stuff that built up to a happy ending#there's really a special form of intimacy when you and an internet stranger are each controlling a fictional character#and describing them doing things like bandaging each other's wounds#checking each other for bruises. asking them to talk about what they've been through. great stuff!#I hope there are still places where people do stuff like this. like I know there are forums and servers for this but that's not the same.#and I mean. I keep thinking ''there must be other places like this!'' but then I remember the goodbye message when omegle shut down#and...I dunno. the internet is different now#we don't live in that world anymore#anyway if you ever RP'd sherlock stuff on omegle you might have talked to me. :) we might have written something together#and despite it being superwholock-era fandom โcringeโ#I'm proud of that#that was a really important part of my life#it was fun :) though I definitely had issues I wasn't willing to confront yet lmao#and I wish I had saved more of the logs :/#oh! I also liked the moments where you'd have to take a break#like you could be right in the middle of something intense and then the other person would be like#(brb I have to finish making dinner for my husband) and you'd say (sure!)#and then 20mins later you'd start up again where you left off
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flowers :D
#i was part way through the lineart when i last worked on it but i wasn't liking how it was coming out so#i just deleted that layer and made a few adjustments to the sketch#I always really liked this doodle I wouldn't want it to just sit in my files and never see the light of day#this is based off that one drawing idek#shima!!! deserves!!!! flowers!!!!!!#gosh i just love them both so much#skip and loafer#skip to loafer#shima x mitsumi#mitsumi iwakura#shima sousuke
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Thomas and his pain they let you pass through but they wouldn't' let me pass!
#I always have a feeling that they let him live just to make him suffer#like death is too easy#again genius writing Steven Knight#English/British writers always hit me differently#they always deliver more of a depth of whatever story they were writing#I think I have gifed everything I wanted to gif this series#really looking for the film version becauseeeee#โIt seems like Tommy Shelby wasn't finished with me..โ#cillian murphy#peaky blinders#I put my heart into every gifset Iโve made#thomas shelby#parellels
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this fandom doesn't get dabi tbh. Like outside of the aesthetic, if given half the chance, he would have become a workaholic to rival his dad. Like he'd complain about it more than Enji tho, but he'd still be out there working his ass off.
#looking back at all the shit touya was masterminding....#we thought he was being lazy everytime he disappeared from lov scenes but no he was in his own spy manga#creating epic revenge plots#dabi#the man is EXTREMELY DILIGENT#like incredibly so#he makes mistakes mind you#keigo was a huge mistake#and by keigo i mean realizing the HSPC has trained assassins to pose as heroes and maybe trying to bait one wasn't the best idea#BUT Dabi really thinks well on his feet#amazingly so#getting twice's blood in a pinch#figuring out shouto's phosphorus etc#he's a hard worker because he's always had to be.
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when adam met 11yo keith he immediately knew that keith was gay and was like i have GOT to support this kid!! (runs into traffic) meanwhile shiro spent years operating under the assumption that keith had like a gender thing going on
#do you see my vision#voltron#shiro#keith#adashi#people are like 'haha voltron renaissance!! klance 4ever!!' meanwhile i'm still stuck in the adashi mines#shiro wasn't entirely wrong but adam was more right.#i like to imagine young adult adam and shiro are going to bed and adam is like 'we need to talk about keith.'#shiro (immediately): don't listen to iverson that guy has it out for keith.#adam: no that's- it's really cute how you always immediately have keith's back. but no i'm talking about supporting keith as he grows up#adam: because i think keith is like Us. if you get my meaning.#shiro: huh.. (oh!! Gender.) i wasn't sure if i should bring it up but yeah i've noticed a couple things.. what's our game plan?#adam: (giving a heartfelt speech about making sure keith always feels loved and cherished)#shiro: (earnestly listens but also in the back of his mind he's planning on how to casually introduce gender-neutral pronouns to keith)#adam is waiting with bated breath for keith to bring a boy home meanwhile shiro is like geez this egg is taking a while to crack...#shitpost#wait this post makes more sense if you buy into my other vision which is that shiro is transgender. always assume im writing trans shiro.
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I feel like we really lost something when we started looking at writing as a reader-centric product meant to appeal to the desires of a specific audience rather than a writer-centric approach of someone writes whatever particular thing particular compels them/whatever weird thing the demons in their head want to talk about, and people out there who are also compelled, and/or relate, find that writing. A lot of discussions of writing really center around what readers want rather than a writer's exploration. Sometimes as a reader I don't know what I want. I click on a fic or pick up a book I'm not sure about but that looks interesting, and I love it. Reading what I expect to get is it's own joy, but we always need to expand our horizons and not get mad at creators for not always writing what we want/expect.
#This applies to other media too#Like movies or TV or theater#Idk man like#It's a very the customer is always right attitude with books these days#And I think it has leaked into fic writing as well#People really get the โthis isn't what I personally enjoyedโ and โthis thing is objectively badโ mixed up#Like people can leave whatever reviews they want on my books they paid for it#But I've had people who liked OFMD be like well I didn't like this because it wasn't OFMD#Well I didn't say it was did I?#And never forget that fic commenter I got who was like um I don't like that you had QuinObi in this but otherwise it was good#Ok???#KCrabb rambles#Writing things
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#wind waker#loz#zelda#beedle#linktober#link#aquanutart#day 1: merchant#i really liked beedle in the wind waker he just always seemed so genuinely enthusiastic and happy to see you#i thought his compliment card was hilarious. i always bought a lot of bait anyway to complete my sea chart#and because i liked messing around as a bird i guess i'd buy hyoi pears; so i always racked up enough points without really trying#however i wasn't a fan of what they did with his character in games after that. he became pressuring and insincere#i understand why people would find a two-faced salesman character funny or interesting in his own right#but it's the opposite of what i originally liked about him#unfortunately this makes me question whether it was meant that way to begin with?#i don't know but i like to believe wind waker beedle actually meant his enthusiasm#back when ww beedle was the only beedle i always meant to show appreciation for him so i'm doing that now
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while I see the appeal of izuku calling kacchan katsuki I think if he does katsuki should be allowed to burst into tears immediately
#am I not kacchan anymore? what did I do wrong? do you not love kacchan anymore? I'm sorry#coming from kacchan bakugou at this point they're too far gone they can absolutely never go back#there's not the same history between deku and kacchan#and even deku - the name - wasn't really hated by Izuku anymore. katsuki chose to stop calling him that because he wanted to do better#(because Izuku deserves better. also because Izuku feels so much nicer on his tongue)#but kacchan? they both like calling him that and being called that. katsuki loves being kacchan he claims very loudly being kacchan#and of course. never complained about being called kacchan by kaminari#anyways I'm reading fanfic#not me saying you can't have izuku call kacchan katsuki in your fics and have it be a good thing!#but for me I think it'll always be kacchan#anyways. I 'need to write fic#mha#mad mha ramblings//#bkdk#bnha
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Rhysand stans:"nobody wants to talk about how Rhysand is a SA Victim"
Girl, I see constantly posts/tiktoks/content about how Rhysand is a SA Victim and 99% of the comments are always super supportive, but every time a Nesta post is made about how she was SA'd by the Kelpie and/or Thomas there are always some Nesta antis in the comments being like "her trauma, doesn't absolve her of being a horrible sister!!!!" even though the post has nothing to do with feyre
or than god forbid people point out that feyre is a Victim of SA in the hands of Rhysand all hell breaks loose, and instead of acknowledging what rhysand did was SA , most of the fandom is out here trying to justify it with the same old tired phrase of "he did it to protect her" or even worse out right denying it by being like "rhysand touching feyre's waist, arms, making her sit on his lap and kissing her against her will isn't SA because only certain circumstances need to occur for it to be classified as SA"
Don't even get me started on the people who believe that gwyn faked her SA and is secretly an evil lightsinger
And the one who rarely gets any recognition of being a SA Victim (besides from his fans) is Lucien. I saw a handful of posts/tiktoks from lucien fans that bring this topic up but those are not nearly as popular as Rhysand's posts and where are almost always some people in the comments of lucien's posts who are asking "when did he get SA'd?"
The majority of the fandom always talks about Rhysand being a SA Victim
#I don't understand why rhysand stans need to always attach this label of rhysand's trauma never being acknowledge by the narrative or fandom#since his trauma is literally constantly talked about be it in the books and in the majority of the fandom#nobody says that was rhys had to endure wasn't horrible#but why are his fans of constant need to make him seem like an underrated character in the series/fandom#when he is one of the most popular mmc characters in regards of the romantasy genre and is constantly seen in top 5 book boyfriends list?#anti acotar fandom#acotar critical#rhysand critical#anti rhysand#though not really more anti rhysand's stans
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