#i wasn't about to tell her she couldn't my policy with her was 'whatever the psychopath wants the psychopath gets' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

streamdotpng · 1 year ago

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Now typically Yoko left Furs to deal with Furs. Historically speaking, Fangs and Furs didn't always see eye to eye. While that particular hatchet supposedly got buried centuries ago; many of the older generations from both races hadn't quite let go of the grudge. More times than not the "beliefs" would continue getting passed down. All that to say that Yoko really was not inclined to interrupt whatever pack bonding activity was going on over there.

"It wasn't on purpose Marr-" the girl started before getting cut off.

"It doesn't matter Enid. It's the fact that it happened at all." the older boy says.

They're speaking loud enough that she can hear them clearly. She doesn't mean to eavesdrop but given her sensitive hearing and the fact that Furs in general tended to be a rowdy and rambunctious bunch, well... can't help what you can't help.

"I didn't know Marric." the girl, Enid, says.

"Of course you didn't." Marric scoffs.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Enid asks and Yoko can hear the anger building in her voice.

"You know exactly what it means. Of course some half wolf wouldn't know not to speak over a pack leader. You couldn't even tell could you? You can barely smell better than a normie." Marric mocks.

Fun Fact: Yoko hates bullies.

Before even fully realizing it, her feet are carrying her in the direction of the commotion. Oh I sure hope I know what I'm doing. By the time Yoko reaches the group she can see that the younger of the two is on the verge of tears.

She knows that before she even got close, the Furs in the group could tell she was heading towards them. Now that she's this close she can read the tension in a lot of their stances. If she doesn't play this right, Yoko knows this could very well trigger another feud between the species on campus.

Here goes nothing.

"Hey, are you Enid?" she asks, doing her best to appear genuine.

The girl in question sniffles before answering, "Yeah, who're you?"

The older boy tries to cut in but Yoko just speaks over him "I'm Yoko, the Headmistress asked me to be your guide around Nevermore the first couple weeks. You ready to go?"

At the mention of Weems, all the Furs in the group start getting fidgety. It was well known that Weems ran a tight ship and had a zero tolerance policy both when it came to bullying and discrimination, even within a species. As long as they're enrolled at Nevermore, no one is allowed to be treated different based on any status of any kind.

Yoko didn't have to say it for it to be understood: if the headmistress caught wind of what just happened, the entire group would be in boiling hot water.

Quickly the group disperses until its just the vampire and this Enid girl left standing there. The two just look at each other for a moment before Enid breaks into giggles. Yoko didn't realize how tense she'd been until she felt the relief hit her system.

"Sooo..." the blonde starts "are you actually my tour guide?"

Yoko shrugs. In for a penny, in for a pound. "Yeah, sure why not." With that, Yoko simply turns around and starts making her way to the quad with Enid skipping alongside her.

______________________________________________________________

Yoko is about to start chewing through drywall.

How in the hell can her bestie from another nestie be this oblivious? This dense? This cannot be real. Yoko feels like she's witnessing the world's slowest, most horrific car crash in slow motion.

For the past week, Yoko has watched as Enid has been borderline waited on hand and foot by her roommate. If the vampire hadn't seen it with her own two eyes she would have thought she'd dreamt up the short ass goth hand feeding Enid food in the courtyard. But no, the shared looks of disbelief between herself, Divina, and Bianca are a testament to the fact that this is, in fact, real life.

What the actual fuck?

Like don't get her wrong, Yoko wants Enid to have it all. She wants her girl to be swept off her feet and given the whole world. She just was not expecting the fuckin Demon of Nevermore, herself, to take it upon herself to fulfill that role.

(Although in hindsight, maybe there were hints that Yoko just wasn't picking up on. That hug after the Crackstone Incident was definitely charged. She just took it as the goth finally letting her walls down. But maybe it was that and more. Huh.)

Either way, Yoko simply cannot believe that Enid is not picking up on any of this. And she genuinely is not. Yoko has flat out told her that she is being courted by her roommate and all she got was a "Yokes, c'mon. She's just learning how to be more open with her feelings."

"Yes! Her feelings! Of Love! For you!"

Enid just shrugs her off. It's driving Yoko insane. The way she sees it, either Enid is just straight as straight can be or she is so deep in denial that it's an ocean instead of a river. At this point, the vampire is rooting for Wednesday. She hopes that little freak woos her bestie so good that it makes every girl on campus seethe with jealousy.

In the meantime, Yoko is gonna do her part to try to at least open Enid up to the idea that her and Wednesday could be more. Maybe she just needed to take baby steps instead of just going all in. She thinks maybe some brainstorming with Div will help. She sends out a text for the siren to meet her in her dorm after classes are finished. She gets a thumbs up emoji as she heads to her next class.

Okay, she thinks, just focus on schoolwork and then hopefully Div's got some better ideas for how to make this work.

Once Yoko has wrapped up her final class for the day, she beelines for her dorm. She's in there for only a few minutes before Divina enters and greets her with a kiss on the cheek. The two settle on her bed before she broaches the topic at hand.

"Soo, I know we both witnessed whatever the fuck that was at lunch today..." Yoko starts.

Divina snorts, "Yeah, it was cute and really sweet on Wednesday's part but also super out of character."

"Yes, yes... but like... she's definitely trying to court Enid, right? Like I'm not losing my mind here?" Yoko presses.

Divina shakes her head, "Yeah, no, Enid is for sure being courted right now. It just seems like she isn't catching on yet."

At that Yoko clambers out of the bed and starts pacing. "That's the thing, Div, I don't think she's catching on at all. I think Enid honest to god, does not believe for a single second that she could ever be courted by Addams. I try bringing the topic up and she just brushes it off. It's like she can't even wrap her head around the possibility of it being a possibility."

From her spot on the bed, Divina only tilts her head. Yoko understands the silent question.

"I know Enid's got stuff going on with her family. It's not really my place to share any of it but I know you caught the stuff that went down at Family Day. I think maybe Enid doesn't think she can let herself have this. I mean, Div she shifted for Addams. Saved her life. Fought a fuck ugly Hyde to do it. That's pretty intense for a friendship." she explains before sighing and running a hand through her hair. "That's not to say she wouldn't though. If anyone would do all that for the sake of a friendship it'd be Enid. Pup is loyal like that."

Divina hums and stands from her place in bed and crosses over to where Yoko is. The siren stops the vampire before she starts pulling hair out. Yoko leans her face into the palm resting against her cheek and sighs again. Divina presses their foreheads together before speaking.

"I know you're worried about her and that you genuinely want whats best for Enid but, Yoko, I think we'll just have to let this one play out a bit more." At that Yoko pulls her head back enough to look at her girlfriend. Divina continues before Yoko can jump in. "If you try to push her too hard, she might get scared or even upset and pull away completely. That would ruin any chance Wednesday has and we wouldn't want that would we?"

Yoko groans and throws her head back. She can hear Divina huff a laugh at her theatrics and the vampire can't help the smile that creeps onto her face. Yoko brings her head back to lean against her girlfriend and she allows herself a few minutes to sulk.

"I just want her to be happy."

"I know and I'm sure she knows, too."

"God, I hope so."

"Well I know so, and I know she'll come to you to talk through things at some point which is why we just have to let everything run its course."

"...Fuckin Addams of all people, couldn't be someone less prone towards actual torture?"

Divina just snorts in reply.

Been getting a little burned out on writing but I'm trying to write a little everyday just so I keep the habit going. Feels like words are difficult lately though, so not super happy with how this turned out

Hope the ear starts feeling better soon Stream

Hey frog no worries!! It came out great, I can really see that yoko is worried about Enid

And damn Enid... She's so dense I had to search an example of it to prove my point

But heyy, atleast she's getting that princess treatment right! Right,, totally not gonna end badly or anything aha.... 😢

(remembers how Enid dates someone else and Wednesday holes up in her house)

#Wenclair #Froggy #Writing

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grumpybunny-edith · 8 months ago

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"Hey, uh, can I --"

"Oh gosh, I remember you two!" called the girl from behind the counter of the Hot Topic. I could've sworn her teeth and nails looked a little sharper than last time we met. I could tell she was studying me too, her eyes dancing between my ears to catch any growth. Her eyes got caught on Anabella's wings too, but only for a second. "You got some jeans last time you were here, right? Did your ears get longer?

"Yeah, this is… kinda the only place where I can get stuff that accomodates a tail. Oh, and, um, they tend to do that, yeah," I blushed. About a month ago she had spent like a half-hour helping me find pairs that would fit. I took a deep breath, feeling my tail shake anxiously behind me. Ana giggled at that, which frustrated me, only making it wag more. Why bunnies had to have the most embarrassing tails on the planet was beyond me, but getting to hear it laugh was worth something. I was just thankful the cashier couldn't see.

"It's so shitty how few options y'all get," said the cashier like it had anything to do with her. I turned knowingly to Ana, who just ruffled her feathers and shook its head. "Anyway, can I help you find anything?"

I grinned, trying to hide my anxiety, and held a plastic bag out to her. "I, uh, need to make a return." She took the bag, opened it, and raised an eyebrow.

"Are these not the jeans you just bought like, three weeks ago?"

I blushed and tried to hide behind my ears. They're not quite long enough to do that yet - the best I could do was hide a bit of the blush creeping up from behind my mask. Being covid-conscious is cool, but really I just prefer to keep it covered so people hopefully fill in the gap with something a little more affirming than what's under it.

"Yeah, they just… Don't fit anymore." I gestured to the snug black sweats I was wearing. I had cut a hole in the back for my tail like I'd done for most of my pants, and turned to the side to show her. Ana would rib me for this choice later, calling me a show-off, but I swear it's not like that. That decision had nothing to do with how cute the cashier was.

"Ohh, because of the medication?" She said, "Or have you just been hitting the squats too hard?" I'd done a lot of wishing my face had the full-coverage fur some other girls have, and the amount of blushing I was doing wasn't making that wish go away. I wanted to look cool; I needed to look cool. That was at least fifty percent of the reason to even be in this shop in the first place.

"A little bit of both," I said sheepishly.

The girl behind the counter looked over her shoulder to nobody, then leaned in. "Technically, our policy doesn't allow returns after two weeks,' she started in a whisper. "But! That policy is bullshit and unfair and you seem cool, so no worries! It's important to be a good ally, or whatever."

After we got the returns handled, she helped me find some new ones, cut me a discount, and assured me I could return them whenever I needed to. At the rate I've been developing at, that's quite the relief. Anabella mostly floated around the conversation, speaking up only right as we crossed the threshhold to leave.

"You know she was staring at you constantly, right bestie?" it said matter-of-factly, adjusting a couple askew feathers. The task seemed to frustrate her quickly, and she never complained when I realigned them instead. Gave me something to do other than be a blushy mess.

"Yeah, people stare, whatever," I said quickly.

"You know what I mean." She shook its wings out and pulled them in.

"I'm gonna count it as another point for her being one of us," I chided, hopping along a step ahead of Ana. I wasn't not hoping to garner a little more attention.

"Sometimes people are nice and gay, Edith," said Ana, its voice like a hand waving my sentence away as she made the same motion with her actual hand and wing in tandem.

"And sometimes they're nice, gay catgirls. When have I ever been wrong?" My tail fluttered unconsciously - I was still getting used to it - and I crossed my arms triumphantly.

"When you decided to spend $200 on a bunch of pants that you knew wouldn't fit a month later," Ana giggled. My new ears were too good at picking up that noise; I nearly melted into it, but managed to stay strong.

---

Thank you @flightlessbirdgirl for letting me write with your character 🩶

#furry hrt #my writing #bunny girl #bird girl #transfur #transgender #cat girl????#The Bunny Burrow

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aurora-nova-fic · 1 month ago

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I had wanted to go to a Star Trek convention for over 20 years. A couple of years ago I started saving with the plan to attend the 60th anniversary year convention in Las Vegas, and then a few weeks ago I saw an ad for Trek to NJ which was held last weekend, and thought, at last, a convention within reasonable driving distance!

Honestly, the experience was disappointing and I'm now reconsidering if I really want to spend a few thousand dollars in 2026. So my question to convention veterans is, was my experience an outlier? Is the Vegas convention vastly superior to others?

Reasons I found it disappointing:

Lousy communication from Creation in general. Some of this I would know better going forward - I would certainly plan to bring plenty of cash, for instance, but the website lacks a lot of information and the schedule is finalized so close to the convention that it's impossible to plan and buy tickets for extras if you're only planning to attend one day. Seems like the whole experience is designed for people to attend multiple days.

The vendors were disappointingly sparse, other than actors at their tables (Trek to NJ had a lot of actors there).

The panels were chaos. I only saw two (more on that below) and both of them were crashed by other actors. Moderation was sorely needed and I really want to know if this sort of 'sure, whoever wants to drop in can come talk about whatever' is the norm, because to me that was just rude. Lower Decks actors had their own panel right after Jonathan Frakes & Brent Spiner - at that moment people were in the theater area to see that duo, not hear LD actors sing.

Now, one of the big downers for me was not entirely within Creation's control, but their policies certainly didn't help. We don't know exactly what happened but the guess is that Jeri Ryan was struggling that day for some reason. (She referred to Michelle Hurd, who was not supposed to join her time on stage but did and did more of the talking, as her 'emotional support human.') So, the scheduled photo ops with her didn't happen on time.

I'm not at all here to slam Jeri Ryan for that. She's human, people have bad days, and as someone who has my own bad days with mental and emotional health, I think we need to give each other grace.

The thing was, this threw everything off schedule. We waited in line, photo op postponed, more information to be forthcoming. Now here is where I think Creation needed to do better. For one thing, they couldn't tell us right away if or when the photo ops would take place. Okay, it takes time to work out, I get that. But they said "it will be on the screens in the theater." Right. But what about when I'm not in the theater? They had no other way to communicate. I didn't want to miss it because I was in line for other things or browsing at vendors. Then when they did reschedule it, due to waiting in line I missed other things I'd have liked - the costume contest and the first part of Frakes & Spiner - and I had specifically planned the single photo op I bought to not conflict with events I really wanted to see.

So by the time all of this went down, I'd honestly have preferred the option to get a refund and spend the money elsewhere. But Creation only gives refunds if the actor outright cancels. I think that in cases like this, flexibility in their refund policy would go a long way - I personally would have come home a lot happier if I had gotten a refund and been able to enjoy the afternoon events as planned.

(I was in fact so annoyed with the whole experience I didn't even buy a souvenir or two as expected.)

Finally, I felt like there were two options to enjoying yourself. One, you have a lot of money to spend on and a desire to get multiple autographs and/or photo ops with actors. Two, you enjoy sitting and watching whoever comes on stage do or say whatever randomness happens to occur. If you didn't fall into one of those categories, there honestly wasn't much to do.

Was this usual or unusual? Is Star Trek Las Vegas different? If you've actually read to the end, by the way, thank you.

#star trek convention #are star trek conventions better than this

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lunarsilkscreen · 1 year ago

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Why did I leave the military

In 2010, the repeal of don't ask don't tell happened, which was a landslide victory for gay men. But for Queer people in general? Iffy ground.

For the entirety of my existence I knew what I was, am, are. But gender confirming social policy and social stigma means you can't talk about it. Like the first two rules of Fight Club.

It exists, but you don't talk about it. Because quote: "It's morally and objectively wrong to wear clothes of the opposite gender."

That's the Line you can't cross. And yes, this includes Kilts if you're outside of the Ireland/Scotland area.

So if you're further than that on the queer spectrum, you look ambiguous, people confuse you for another gender, or they just can't tell. That is a moral and personal failing. One corrected through Hairstyles, clothing, and gendered perfume flavours.

So if you're a genetic men and other men are confusing you for a women, and other (maybe sapphic) women want to date you. They can't acknowledge that.

Just "Oh, we can't do that thing at all".

But the talk will go on behind your back regardless.

Some people look like me are upset because they aren't seen as the Pinnacle of masculinity. A trait I also shared, but not really cause it felt good mind you. I wanted to be a women. Right? At the very least, I was OK with ambiguity.

"so why the F*? Would you join the military if it would put you in the box?"

Oh you know, GI. Jane, the existence of the "Tom Boy". Video Games.

Plus I had a lot of reasons I couldn't continue staying where I had grown up, or with my family, or even continue going to college the first time around despite having qualified for the MEAP{ Michigan Educational Assessment Program } which awarded money to kids just out of high school for excelling at a test that summed up the entire school education.

Quick Google search says it's the "M-STEP" now. I dunno how many other students qualified. I just know I qualified for that *on top* of tuition incentive program.

To which people understandable ask what happened?

It was going great, but I had no way to practice for driving test to get out there. Had a friend, friend promised would help me. Which made me start the aid process. But that process had a two year limit on it.

That two year limit on it, along with no driver's license along with unstable home life, along with losing that friendship, because her words; "you're a bum". Along with whatever other list of grievances she had with me. Meant I lost that second year of aid. Gone. I need to stop trusting people.

So unstable home life, depression, definitely queer, definitely no friends. A friend of mine was joining the Air Force. And I thought "F* it, YOLO".

The complex reasons? That instability. That lack of future. The paycheck. And the possibility that I *might* be able to pursue my dreams that way.

So why the F* would I leave that behind?

In the Air Force, we're taught to lead from the front. I dunno if that's the same way in other branches, I assume it is.

At that time I was falling apart mentally, the only thing keeping me going was this knowledge that life sucked on the outside, and there was, and still is nothing out here for me. I re-enlisted for a little while, got to do a desk job with a lot of programming. But I was still falling apart mentally.

And when I went to pursue the reasons why, There still wasn't anything that I could do about it. Just me, and deteriorating mental health. And being Vaguely Queer, but not really getting along with other queer people cuz the community sucks. (most communities suck, but the gatekeeping in the queer community is something else man.)

And then, the cherry on top was the Executive Order by President Trump that trans people should be banned from serving in the military.

Many queer people accuse me of this being the only reason for it. F* them. You know why? Gatekeeping.

Excuse me for leaving on my integrity.

I could've stayed just a few more months until the end of my enlistment and not had to burn a bridge. But I used my other disability, let's just say arthritis. Because there's a list. As an instant out.

I could've waited and had the same benefits you know.

I could've stayed in and had a fulfilling career. Well, maybe. There was talk of a thing I was supposed to be up for. But it wasn't real until the moment I left. It wouldn't have stopped me from leaving either way.

But it was; A presidential declaration that the My (and by extension the Military's) Mental Health did not matter in the slightest. And the possibility of going back to a Job, Airline Mechanic, on a devasting weapon that had already taken a toll on my mental health.

And I couldn't deal with both of those possibilities.

So I saved what I could in order to bide my time for a job.

And everybody that I could've relied on back home. In any facet, I ended up being unable to rely on them, and with declining mental health that also didn't matter to them; made a string of decisions that put me in a bind.

And with no friends, and no backup, and relatively no voice.

I decided to protest the U.S. government. And Trump himself for being a megaphone for the Evangelicalsm that hated me. Made my family reluctant to support me. And just overall being Dick's.

Because, unlike those actually in the "queer community" I took a risk.

One that friends and family took advantage of.

I would say "calculated" but I knew what the ultimate price would be. Because I know how people act. I know how jealous and hateful and spiteful they are.

And they haven't proven me wrong yet.

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gabbagepatch · 10 months ago

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Gonna try to act like I'm normal for a sec and talk about my experience getting accommodations for my hearing loss this semester.

I've had severe tinnitus since January after a mild COVID infection. The accompanying symptoms are unilateral hearing loss, episodes of intense vertigo, degradation of my balance, and of course constant tinnitus. This illness is a bit of a chicken or the egg scenario, and these symptoms can vary heavily day-to-day.

As someone who used a wheelchair and cane for approximately two years from 2016-2018 I was already familiar to the rigmarole of getting accommodations from an educational institution. I've also had experience with chronic pain so I was more prepared than some others for a sudden illness that impacts my daily life.

Once I realized that the first-line treatment wasn't successful I got to work immediately with my college's disability office. I am not the bitch who's gonna wait to get the stuff I need. I care too much about my education to suffer needlessly when I know this illness isn't going away for a while.

I cannot stress this enough! Do not wait for it to get worse, you do not need to deny yourself accommodations because it isn't "as bad as it could be" yet! Worst case scenario is that you get accommodations and didn't need them as long as you thought.

I visited the website and was very disappointed that the resources were confusing and limited. It seemed to me that there was an unstated assumption that the person needing the forms was a new student, so the things I needed were buried in new student paperwork that didn't apply to me. It also was not easy to find their policies on applications submitted outside of enrollment, and I was applying mid-semester. I called the line for the disability office, but the number was either outdated or they were closed at 1pm on a Wednesday. I was very frustrated initially. This might just be me but I'm of the opinion that important resources like this should be easy to find regardless of circumstance and that the people you need to reach for questions should be available during normal hours, but whatevs.

I ended up emailing the head of the disability office informing her of a lack of phone response, a small blurb about my situation, and the questions I was looking for answers to. Despite my issues with the website she called me within the hour of my email. If this lovely woman could call me immediately after I sent an email why couldn't I reach someone over the phone? I thought that was weird, but she was super helpful nonetheless so I can't be too annoyed. She explained the process and it was actually pretty simple, but you'd never know it from their webpage.

For me, my college required my primary care provider to fill out a short form, one page front and back. It had simple questions about what abilities were affected and how severely; plus a simple consent portion authorizing my school to receive that medical information. I recommend filling this out before the appointment with your provider, because it saves time. I filled out the legal portion but didn't do the assessment ahead of time. It worked out because during this appointment my hearing turned out to be worse than I thought, so hearing impairment was rated "severe" and not "moderate" as I had assumed. Afterwards it was easy to scan and email to the disability office. My school's email system is secure so I was not worried about sending such things over email, but use your best judgement.

I had thoughts that I was "jumping the gun" a little, but was able to push that aside. It's basically impossible to avoid self-doubt as someone with a disability or illness. The world is full of inspiration porn and there will always be people who judge you for not trying hard enough. The idea that accommodations should be a last resort after tireless effort to "overcome" your disability is total bullshit, but you didn't need me to tell you that.

There was also a small worry that it would be read as manipulative or arrogant to request accommodations so soon after my illness began. I also had to push this aside. Many abled people expect accommodations to be requested meekly, and look down on those who are confident in their own limitations. Often being too sure of yourself and your needs is taken as a sign you're taking advantage of the institution. Once again, total bullshit. You don't owe anyone a performance of shame and apprehension.

Back to the process. Once she received the paperwork everything was basically out of my hands. My professors were notified of the accommodations I requested and I was able to begin implementing them smoothly during class. Of course my accommodations are not as involved as others may be. I requested to record my lectures and sit in areas best suited to my hearing, these are generally very easy for professors to accommodate. My balance issues are another matter, but I'm not in classes that require lifting or bending so it hasn't come up.

I have to say my experience with college if much better than public school so far. I think it's a lot easier for k-12 to get away with shitty behavior than college professors, but that's just my personal experience. I got a lot of grief for my past disability in school than now. The day before I was pulled out of public school the school nurse told me she "didn't have time for this" when I nearly passed out! I think the semi-professional setting/attitude of college encourages a more "HR friendly" response to stuff like this, but I've heard enough horror stories to know that no institution is immune to ableism.

Overall I'm pretty happy with my experience so far, and I feel like my college is doing a pretty good job in my case. I'm just happy that my education doesn't seem like it's going to be another stressor. I've got enough on my plate dealing with appointments, PT, and tests so I really appreciate that my college was responsive and understanding.

#life update #disabled #disability #physical disability #college #student #student life #hard of hearing #hearing loss #hearing impaired #accomodation #meniere's disease #SSHL

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ortizselene · 4 months ago

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'Hm. Well, there must be something else you could do? To make up for hypothetically damaging my Ferrari?'

Selene finds it hard to swallow.

This would all be a shade more believably mundane, innocent, had it not been for the bright tomato flush blooming across Kieran's cheeks and ears.

Surely— surely Selene was the one inflecting meaning where it didn't exist. Surely it was her who imagined the teasing edge, the ... innuendo, that seemed to be simmering underneath Kieran's words.

There must be something else you could do.

Selene's neck prickles, in that intrusive, overwhelming way like in college. When she'd be sitting shoulder to shoulder with Kieran on the couch and all she could think about how close he was and how broad the muscles of his thighs were and how easy it would be to sit up and suddenly straddle him, how good the pressure might feel on her—

Jesus.

Or— when they went camping and that line of hair on his abdomen disappeared beneath his swim shorts at the lake and Selene wanted to follow the path down with her tongue. She remembers laying in her tent, hot, sleeping bag kicked aside, ring finger playing over the hem of her panties.

"Sure," Selene says, trying to pretend that her skin wasn't an entire live wire. "I'm sure I could work it off somehow."

Fucking christ. She certainly was imagining it, whatever lay flashing behind Kieran's gaze? That was her almost brother in law. He had to mean it another way.

Unless he hadn't.

Unless this suggestion of a miniature road trip kicked off a certain something. A freedom that hadn't felt since college, a freedom they never truly had then either.

Selene tried to tell herself to be careful. She couldn't just ... go off the rails, just because she thinks, she thinks, Kieran might be flirting too.

But it was hard to totally behave.

'I don't think there's any rules, really, when you're in a Ferrari.'

Well.

"No rules in the Ferrari, huh."

Selene lets herself grin, practically squeal when the car surges forward.

How nice, it felt, to leave her responsibilities behind.

"I guess I can show off a little then."

Selene— the woman who adhered to rules and regulations almost religiously — promising to show Kieran that she could be bad.

But this wasn't about that, wasn't about SEC policies and bylaws or anything of that sort. It was just about ... cutting lose, for the afternoon, without justifying themselves to anyone.

Selene grins at Kieran, a fiery thing.

"Go faster."

"I'm actually broke, Kieran, so you'd have to garnish wages off the paycheck from your own company."

Kieran raised his brow.

“Hm. Well, there must be something else you could do? To make up for hypothetically damaging my Ferrari?”

This conversation was teetering on the edge of being inappropriate, especially with what Selene said next. Something about being “very fucking bad,” and “going fast.”

There was no doubting the shade on Kieran’s face. It was a bright, flushed crimson color that always seemed to betray him at times like this. There was no helping it, no hiding what he might’ve been thinking. Kieran wondered if she could read his mind.

Did she know that he was … reminiscing?

During his college days, Kieran agonized over Selene in private. All it took was a glimpse of her flushed and slick after an intense workout, or jumping into a pool in her bikini, or … anything, really. He’d wanted her desperately then, and — well — college Kieran would’ve died, had this interaction occurred a decade ago.

There were times that Kieran wanted her so badly that he had no choice but to give in. Did she know that? Did the flush on his face reveal all the times he’d stood beneath the running water in his shower, abdomen tight, panting, hand pressed against the tile, imaging that she’d been “very fucking bad” for him?

Is that why she was doing this to him now? To torture him, while she was engaged to another man?

Did she somehow know about all the times that he’d been unable to sleep and made a mess in his bed just thinking about her? Going fast? Being very fucking bad?

Adult Kieran was also apparently dying.

“I guess you’ll just have to show me how bad you are. I’ve never seen it for myself, so. We can go as fast as you want. I don't think there's any rules, really, when you're in a Ferrari.”

His car suddenly felt unbelievably hot, much like the sides of his face. As if to prove a point, Kieran stepped on the gas, and the car surged forward with ease.

#TWO WHORES IN A FERRARI ON THEIR WAY TO THEIR OLD BAR LEAVING THEIR FAMILY BEHIND OOPS LKFDSJKLFDSFSDFSDFDSFSDFSF #para2

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dollmother · 1 year ago

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i remember the clubhouse i went to after school. a medium sized building in the park where there was a community of kids around my age and teenagers from the neighboring high school. they were usually there for different reasons, mine was because my mom was caught up toiling away at her salon working long hours. being told to go there and wait for her so i wouldn't be home alone. where i'm not trusted to be alone. at any point while i was just 12, or 14, i could've taken the bus home. do whatever i wanted, away from everyone else. there were many days i fantasized about just being alone. but i kept going back to that club house after school and waited for her.

she wouldn't pick me up until 7pm at the latest. sometimes even later depending on how late each of her customers came through the door. if there were customers that came in after...well, she would work with her clients and stay late.

i remember being the only child left behind at the outdoor entrance of that clubhouse. every single day i sat there at the ledge in front of their grass lawn. i remember that place vividly. the big tree surrounded by a solid row of bench made of cobblestone. the smaller rather empty building that was usually closed off to the kids. the ledge that you could sit on in front of the aloe vera plants decorating the big windows in the front. how could i not remember? i was there almost every day waiting for her.

it was policy for the supervisors there to make sure the kids weren't unattended. it was unsafe for a small, weak, scrawny kid to be left by himself. vulnerable. god forbid some suspicious character arrived at the scene and took advantage of him. i was lucky. at the same time, i began to feel bad for the staff there. their shift ended around 7pm, and i was often there almost an hour after. bless their kind hearts, they had stayed overtime to take care of me. i didn't want to be a burden to anyone, yet it always felt that way. i would see the relief in their eyes when my mom's car pulled up in the driveway.

i remember clearly what it felt like seeing red. for me, red wasn't such an alarming color--not in that sense anyways. red was a sight for relief. a respite to the anxiety i felt, a emotion i couldn't quite gather words for at the time. though i found myself stuck in this position for days on end, i never really got used to that feeling.

things were much worse during a time when you really didn't have a phone. sure, it was nice to have a hand-me-down from your sister. but all it did was call and tell you the time. things got scary during the winter seasons. when the sun left the horizon earlier than usual, sometimes i would find myself waiting in the dark, dimly lit park bench and alone. it was cold. and i was alone. reminiscing on those memories i still feel the fear welling in my chest. i was a worrisome kid, anxious and couldn't keep still. whether it was from my nervousness or boredom, i found myself pacing around the general vicinity of the club house while my thoughts raced around in the cluttered maze of my own mind. there, i spent the most time talking to my own head---

oh i remember one time when i had been waiting, after the staff left for home, by myself on that green bench in front of the empty building i mentioned. it was really late tonight, i thought. mom isn't picking up my calls, when i'd been calling her countless times. for the first time in a while, i felt all that fear of the other days manifest itself intensely. in my head there was nothing but chaos. overthinking, ruminating, my vivid imagination would betray me now.

then in those moments, i thought about what might've happened to my mom. could she have gotten in a car accident? or has something much worse happened to her? i was genuinely scared. then it came back to me. i thought about my father, who passed almost a decade ago in his office suddenly. in one long night where i sunk deep into the pit of empty space. floating, sinking, trapped in a pit of one of the longest nights of my life. four hours felt like a week. there were a thousand different thoughts fight its way to give voice. would she abandon me like he did now? what would become of me, of us had something terrible like that happened?

in those moments, i went through a simulation of loss and grief. what would i do if she left me? stuck here, alone? i thought of her more than anything. praying to a god i never truly believed in that she would be okay. praying for her safety, that her not answering any of my calls just meant she was driving to pick me up.

I was scared to death but in those moments, some part deep inside me felt relief as i thought about a future without her. i realized i hated my mother when the rare times i tasted freedom, was in some abandonment trauma induced fantasy of a life had something bad occurred that night.

i think about all those nights i stayed behind when everyone else had left. all those staff that remained behind with me, making sure i was safe just for a little longer. i never thanked them enough for what they'd done for me. i wish not that i could. now when i recall these childhood memories, i hope that they do know that dumb little kid was grateful. looking back, i think i took the community there for granted at times. they had done so much for me even after the little i've given back. made me into the person i am now. i guess the lesson in all of this was that there is still good left in this world. there were genuinely good people there. and for what? they never got the fair compensation they deserved. i hope they're all doing well, maybe now i can return to that old place---if they're still there.

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mythgrippa-blog · 1 year ago

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Day ??? - unresponsive

Well today... more like yesterday was the actual demo for the app... it took a while but finally deployed the backend on google cloud run. This video was very helpful

youtube

The initial plan I had for deployment was to just host an ec2 instance however the url link was over http instead of https, since we were using firebase hosting which has a policy against http content. It didn't work, so I had to re improvise and tried a lot of different ways which include:

Getting HTTPS manually using openssl, this didn't work as most browsers don't allow self signed certificates and firebase was no different

Using Netlify to host our NodeJS however their libraries were and documentation were either outdated or no longer working, and they updated their website so I wasn't sure on how exactly to deploy

Using firebase functions, this didn't work because of the way firebase preprocesses requests, it does some stuff to it like turning the request body into like a buffer so I would have to decrypt it on my end by adding like a middleware or switching from using multer to busboy, because my services need to handle image uploads so I gave up on that idea

Cloud Run, this actually worked well! Thanks to the tutorial I sent before, I wouldn't have understood the video if I didn't know much about docker. You can still follow along however it gets tedious, takes about 5-10 minutes to deploy and its effective and you have full control which is amazing! Running a docker container in the cloud is awesome. I did run into an issue during the video, and it was because my docker client wasn't authorized to push to gcr.io, a simple command to fix it was all I Needed thankfully it was fixed with one command

The rest of the day was spent with my team preparing for the presentation, our 3rd one. We were working and I was happy the backend was deployed, I feel like I'm getting more familiar with GCP. We were implementing features left and right, polishing whatever needed to. And when the demo came... well...

Just before the demo, we met up our client who was happy to see us and we were happy to see her, we wanted to show off all the features which took a while to make but yeah. There was a whoopsie, thanks to my miscommunication, I forgot to tell my stallion that we're using a shared variable that stores the apiUrl link and so he hard coded the localhost:8000, so some of his api wasn't getting used because it was trying to access localhost:8000 instead of the deployed links. We couldn't redeploy in time of the demo so we went in nervous.

The demo starts and everyone looks so scary, however my lecturer who I think may not like our team just left. The demo goes on and on, and one of the guys leaves. They ask me questions, I try my best like one was why do RabbitMQ's AMQP for communication between services instead of Restful HTTPS, the question was around security and I panicked and out right said something kinda not true but also true.

It ends, and they say our app was just too simple and needed more AI (not more features but more AI). The faces they gave, it was almost as if they were looking at poor helpless dumb little pups or people who worked last minute to finished. Our client, for the second time said that she was worried about us on whether we can finish the AI.

I'm a bit sad honestly... yeah the app was simple by my design... I'm just so sad... it doesn't help that I'm also going through a repetitive phase in my life where I start liking someone because we're so close and comfortable with each other only to find out that we were just very close friends and nothing romantic was built up.

I'm like really depressed because I can't really seem to catch a break. I want to improve the website but I'm just really sad now. Well... I honestly am trying to lose faith or what not,,,

#Youtube

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donotenteract · 1 year ago

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Yoko's not really sure whats going on right now but she's honestly so bored that she doesn't even care. In front of her there's some kind of commotion going on between two Furs. One looks a bit older, he holds himself with the level of confidence that gives away the fact that he's somewhere higher up in the pack hierarchy. He must be a senior. The other looks like she's probably close to her own age range. A newbie to the Academy. Now typically Yoko left Furs to deal with Furs. Historically speaking, Fangs and Furs didn't always see eye to eye. While that particular hatchet supposedly got buried centuries ago; many of the older generations from both races hadn't quite let go of the grudge. More times than not the "beliefs" would continue getting passed down. All that to say that Yoko really was not inclined to interrupt whatever pack bonding activity was going on over there.

"It wasn't on purpose Marr-" the girl started before getting cut off.

"It doesn't matter Enid. It's the fact that it happened at all." the older boy says.

"I didn't know Marric." the girl, Enid, says.

"Of course you didn't." Marric scoffs.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Enid asks and Yoko can hear the anger building in her voice.

"You know exactly what it means. Of course some half wolf wouldn't know not to speak over a pack leader. You couldn't even tell could you? You can barely smell better than a normie." Marric mocks.

Before yoko can even fully realize it, her feet are carrying her in the direction of the commotion. Oh I sure hope I know what I'm doing. By the time Yoko reaches the group she can see that the younger of the two is on the verge of tears.

Here goes nothing.

"Hey, are you Enid?" she asks, doing her best to appear genuine.

The girl in question sniffles before answering, "Yeah, who're you?"

The older boy tries to cut in but Yoko just speaks over him "I'm Yoko, the Headmistress asked me to be your guide around Nevermore the first couple weeks. You ready to go?"

Yoko didn't have to say it for it to be understood: if the headmistress caught wind of what just happened, the entire group would be in boiling hot water.

"Sooo..." the blonde starts "are you actually my tour guide?"

Yoko shrugs. In for a penny, in for a pound. "Yeah, sure why not." With that, Yoko simply turns around and starts making her way to the quad with Enid skipping alongside her.

—---------------------------------------------------------------

Yoko is about to start chewing through drywall.

How in the hell can her bestie from another nestie be this oblivious? This dense? This cannot be real. Yoko feels like she's witnessing the world's slowest, most horrific car crash in slow motion.

What the actual fuck?

"Yes! Her feelings! Of Love! For you!"

Okay, she thinks, just focus on schoolwork and then hopefully Div's got some better ideas for how to make this work.

"Soo, I know we both witnessed whatever the fuck that was at lunch today..." Yoko starts.

Divina snorts, "Yeah, it was cute and really sweet on Wednesday's part but also super out of character."

"Yes, yes... but like... she's definitely trying to court Enid, right? Like I'm not losing my mind here?" Yoko presses.

Divina shakes her head, "Yeah, no, Enid is for sure being courted right now. It just seems like she isn't catching on yet."

From her spot on the bed, Divina only tilts her head. Yoko understands the silent question.

"I just want her to be happy."

"I know and I'm sure she knows, too."

"God, I hope so."

"Well I know so, and I know she'll come to you to talk through things at some point which is why we just have to let everything run its course."

"...Fuckin Addams of all people, couldn't be someone less prone towards actual torture?"

Divina just snorts in reply.

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xtinyslip · 1 year ago

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"I HAVE A LOT TO PROCESS THROUGH... SO I NEED YOU TO TALK TO ME IF SOMETHING IS WRONG. HM?" that was mostly true. cecilia was never going to be normal. she was never going to express, process or feel emotions the same way that everyone else did. this stemmed from years and years of abuse; for as long as she could remember. caring about anyone other than her father and his wishes was wrong. that sort of programming, didn't just go away and she wasn't like a car that could be fixed up. stick a new engine in and be good as new; she was never going to run right BUT SHE WAS TRYING. "even if he did?" harsh but true, she didn't know this strahm and there was a part of her that hadn't spent that much time with him for a reason. "the poison has been in his body for far too long. even if he were to receive the cure? it doesn't reserve the damage that has already been done. he's dying parker. with or without it." that was the harsh reality of what they were facing. "but you. you have time. i made this for you." and it would work. it had too. WHAT ELSE ARE YOU KEEPING FROM ME? cecilia took a genuine step back from him at the accusation. "i wasn't sure i was capable of hurting more after these last few months with my father but... THAT HURT." the worst part was that she was being genuine. she also knew she needed to snap herself out of it and think of an explanation. "terrified?" confusion. "i'm not sure i'm following...?" she was going to have to lie and for fucks sake; this was not what she wanted. "OPERATING TABLE? are you out of your fucking mind? what -- what operating table? whatever it is you think i was keeping from you? this is not it. P," this was how it had to be. "edgar runs a strict no substance abuse policy here at the farm. as you know. does he turn a blind eye to the occasional beer? a glass of wine? for us. yes. but... drug abuse? he can not. gabriella was submitted to a drugs test... SHE FAILED. she said she wanted to be the one to tell you, that's why i hesitated but operating table? parker, what the fuck?" in her head; he couldn't know. if he knew, if he pressed, if he threatened -- it would be out of her hands and she truly, truly wanted to save him. cecilia wanted to be closer to him now more than ever. she didn't want him to pull away, therefore she was pushing towards him in hope he wouldn't. when he removed his on top, she could only smile. "i want you to take what is yours." she whispered in his ear, bringing his hands so they would rest upon her waist. @fcdcdmcmories

"YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW. I GUESS THAT.. I JUST NEEDED TO HEAR THAT, COMING FROM YOU." he disguised it with a smile, of course, but .. the doubt had been there. for a split second, but it had, and he hated it. that was what valentina had tried to do -- to make him doubt her -- and he hadn't wanted to let that little bitch win, but .. but. "i don't doubt that you're going to be able to do this for a second, but.. what about the other guy? strahm? i know that shit like that happens and of course that i don't want it to be me who kicks the bucket, but.. IT JUST SUCKS. HE DESERVED BETTER." no, he didn't particularly want to die himself -- he didn't want to leave HER - but .. it felt wrong to just let someone die like that. especially someone who didn't deserve it. the selfish part of him didn't care -- it wanted to live and it wanted to be here more than anything, but.. it was a terrible situation either way. "you knew," he didn't need her to tell him that was the case. just the hesitation had been enough and .. he knew her all too well. or did he? "you knew and.. GODDAMN IT, CECILIA. we said no more secrets! and.. i had to.. i had to find out from gabi, who is terrified, by the way, and who wants to go to the cops and.. when were you going to tell me about this? never? what else are you keeping from me?" he shook his head, clearly horrified. had val been right all along? HE DIDN'T WANT TO DOUBT HER, OF COURSE NOT, BUT.. THE HESITATION WAS CLEAR. "no, we are not saints, but.. even at our worst, we never.. we never did this to people. ever. we never hurt anyone like this and it's- you- how do you know we're not all going to end up on his operating table? HUH? me. gabi. even you. how? i don't.. i just want us to be safe. all of us." and he didn't want to fight with her - no, especially when he remember what had happened when they did the last time. "MINE.. MINE, TOO. it was the only moment of the day where i got to see you. the real you," he sighed, finding himself relaxing, because it was impossible not to. to not lose himself in that kiss. grinning, he nodded. "RIGHT AGAIN. AND ALSO.. LIKE THIS?" he pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor to join hers. (@xtinyslip)

#cecilia ; convo #cecilia ; parker #tw: mental health #tw: drugs mention #tw: murder mention #i know she's just the actual worst but she really really does care about him #:L

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cursivebloodlines · 1 year ago

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“I would never disguise shit-talk as feedback. If I had shitty opinions about people I just tell them point blank, no need to pretend it’s something it’s not,” Lydia said as if it were the most obvious thing, shrugging nonchalantly. Always just coming out with it. “Not harsh, just honest,” she corrected. Wasn't honesty the best policy? The question about puppies earned a laugh from her. Amazing how Aaron could make her laugh without even trying. “As if you even have to ask! I can confirm I don’t kick puppies. It would be a dealbreaker for me, too. Anyway, if my constructive criticism or feedback is so harsh maybe people should do better in the first place so I don’t have to tell them what they’re doing wrong. Problem solved.” As simple as that. If someone asked her to give her honest opinion on something, she was never the type to sugarcoat it. In all fairness, she did try to give positive and negative feedback. However, people tended to focus on the negative — which was never even phrased badly, just in a ‘what can be done better’ kind of way. If that’s not what they’re looking for then they should know better than to ask her for feedback. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes — it wasn’t that hard to comprehend. She really enjoyed the way they were able to bounce off of each other effortlessly. No awkwardness, no constantly needing to explain yourself due to being taken the wrong way. They shared a similar sense of humour and Lydia loved how Aaron played along with whatever she threw at him. Hypothetical situations, extra credit in the Class of Lydia, not having a choice, the lot. And she was certain he wasn’t doing it for her benefit, but because he wanted to. Despite the playing around, at the same time, he sees genuine which only made her like him more. Never would she have anticipated deciding she liked someone so fast, let alone on the first date. Lydia needed to remind herself to hold fire, it was early days. Don’t get too ahead too fast — it was how she ended up in her previous predicament. But then there was a part of her who was already in way over her head. The part of her unleashed, unable to be restrained no matter how much she tried to reign it in. “Unofficial class? Are you implying my class is fake?” She asked with mock surprise, tilting her head slightly at him. Even added a quiet gasp for dramatic effect. She couldn't resist the messing about, something which surprised her about herself. How easy it all was. Her elbows perched atop the table, resting clasping her hands together and placing her chin against her hands. The playful gleam in her eyes remained and she couldn't help the laugh that slipped at his reaction to her words, the way he surrendered to her so easily. Interesting..."Oh, please, we both know I'm not worried." Mostly, she omitted that part. It was still early days...Very early days. So much could go wrong - she was not completely convinced it wouldn't yet. But she had to take it a bit at a time; these were uncharted waters she was wading through. Deep enough she could not see the bottom, terrified of losing her footing, of going under. Of repeating the same mistakes as she did before. It was the first date, it was only meant to be a dip of the toes, not half deep under. Funnily enough, she didn't care. If she thought too much about it then she would be doomed, wouldn't she? Judging by the way this date went... the signs were hinting in the right direction of a second date. And who knows..? Maybe more than that. If Aaron hadn't grown fed up with her by then, that is. Eyes widening when he repeated the word bad, a brief flicker of panic crossed her features. "What? N-No, not bad. I said not necessarily bad," she rushed to correct herself, to reiterate what she had said only moments before. Did she make any sense? Probably not - she knew when she said the word it wasn't the right one, but none others crossed her mind at the time."You're full of surprises. And believe it or not, I actually like your weird comments. Now I kinda just want to wait and see how funky you can get."

Wait - Did he just call her 'boss?' Fascinating. What was even more fascinating was the way it...gave her an odd sense of satisfaction. Did she like it? Maybe a little... Alright, maybe even more so than she let on. Should she comment on it? Ask about it? Or would that make it more obvious? No - not. For now, she would let it slide and try to ignore the warm feeling it gave her. Especially with that smirk on his face. "A feeling," she repeated, humming thoughtfully. "Do you have Spidey senses or something? Perhaps we should change your name to Psychic Sally? Bet you didn't see that one coming..." An affirmed nod in response when he announced needing to gather his cleaning supplies. "Make sure you have plenty. you might need to rally the troops," Lydia jested, eliciting another quiet laugh. Everything he said amused her. The way he spoke of his mom was sweet, though. Even endearing..."Your mom sounds like a very smart lady, we need more like her around." It made her think of her own mother. They had to learn so they could all help out doing the things she couldn't do after her accident, up until the end. But even if that hadn't been the case, she was sure she'd have made them learn, so they could be self-sufficient. How she missed her. "And, if a steamer is what you want, I am not going to stop you. I am not too fussed about your methods as long as it helps get the job done." No problem. Amazing how two words that didn't mean the same yet somehow felt like a promise. "Good luck and best wishes."

Silly things that were costing him now. Sparked a little hint of curiosity in Lydia as she wrestled between the decision of questioning him about it or leaving it, in case she wasn't fond of the answer. It had been a niggling question in the back of her mind...the way he spoke of his ex-wife. She was the one who wanted the divorce...It made her wonder what would happen if she came back on the scene for whatever reason. If she changed her mind, what would Aaron do? Maybe she really was thinking too much into it. Something that shouldn't bother her, especially on the first date. It did make her wonder though. Gave her uncertainty. There was a lot of history there. It was possible. Her life had become the equivalent of a soap opera before, her first rodeo, and she wasn't sure if she had the capacity to go an extra season of chaos again. Something made her want to take the chance anyway. For a moment, she hesitated but then decided out with it. It's not like she ever had a filter before, maybe she just wanted to find out what she was in for. It was normal, right? "Such as what?" Lydia asked softly. If Aaron evaded the question or refused to answer, she would let it go for now. Though that would also bring up more questions...She would cross that bridge when she came to it. If she came to it. One look at him, the words he said, and the look on his face told her his mind was wandering. Made her feel a little apprehensive for a moment, but she let it slide after convincing herself she was thinking too much about it again. Ah. Those four little words. I told you so. Lydia scoffed at that, rolling her eyes. "Oh, believe me, I know that all too well. Well, when my family found out...and friends, too actually. By then, it was too late though because I had already been married. I thought I knew best." It was after her siblings found out she was married, that her brother was unfortunate enough to have...too many run-ins with her ex-husband. When the drama boiled to a screeching point and they ended up nearly killing each other. It may have been more than once actually, so she heard. Don't make me say 'I told you so'. She remembered the words quite clearly. If only she listened. But no, she thought she knew better than everyone because she was the one who married the jackass. The way Aaron's gaze fixated on her as she spoke of her disastrous marriage unnerved her slightly. Never had someone let her just...talk. Just let it all out without any interruption. Normally it was 500 questions, a deviation of conversation halfway between before setting off again. But with him? He just let her talk until she was finished. The reaction on his face was a picture, and it did make her smile. The way his mouth hung open, left agape as she clarified all the details. It was that bad then, huh? Typically people hid their shock from her, or tried to - she normally could see right through it - though she didn't know why. Maybe they didn't want to offend her or resisted the urge to call her an idiot for putting up with a piece of shit like him for so long. There was no mask with him, and it made her like him even more. maybe it was easier for them because of their mutual experiences with screwed-up marriages."Just a little," she laughed weakly at his observations. "You're not correcting all the wrong dots at all. Always thought it was me. that I was...I don't know, too clingy or pushy or something. I don't know. I know I'm not perfect, I know - hard to believe isn't it? - but for a long time I thought it was me. And then I thought, maybe I can help him see sense. I know, a cliche - one of those 'I can fix him' girls. Pathetic? Yep." By the end, she certainly felt pathetic. "Hate the bastard. If I ever see him again...which I hope I don't. I'd totally kill him." Just went to show how much he still angered her to this day, all the hell...No wonder Lydia had a nightmare temper at times. He always did bring out the worst in her.

Obviously, it was a joke. The death threat. She even had a smile on her face as she said the words. Not that she really wanted to - too messy, and the thought of having to even see that man again would be enough to put her off. It was funny enough to think of. Could probably get away with it, being a forensic pathologist, she mused to herself. No love left there. Everything he said was true. It felt...nice. To be understood. To not have festering eyes on you, looking at you as though you were a maniac for putting up with so much crap. Like the words she reiterated not all that long before, people do stupid things when they're in love. As smart as Lydia was, she was also prone to that too. She was no different. "Why do you think lawyers aren't smart?" Lydia asked, "My exception notwithstanding, that is." Nodding at the greener pastures comment, she gave him a curious look at his next question. "Of course it does - I thought that much was obvious. Why? Half tempted to throw some bullshit at me?" she teased, the usual jokey tone in her voice as usual. It all depended, she supposed, on what he actually meant by bullshit, his version or sort. Different kinds to different people. She wondered what his was.

There it was again! That word. Boss. That was definitely going to stick, wasn't it? A little grin played on her lips. Already referring to her with a...nickname. Could she call it that? Unknown, yet. She would have to think of one for him, too, so they were even. Plenty of opportunities..."Meticulous notes? Can't wait to see them." For some reason, she became acutely aware of how she hadn't pulled her hand away from him yet. She didn't want to, but she also didn't want to be the weirdo who lingered for too long so she did reluctantly pull back, albeit unsure where exactly she wanted to put her hands now. Especially since she had to remind herself it was the first date. Why was she thinking so much? Whatever happened to going with the flow? His "innocent" smile earned another smile from her. Aaron really did have the loveliest smile...innocent, or not. Whatever variation. It was something she liked to see a lot of, and hoped she would in the foreseeable future, too. "You're right. It is the safe thing to do..However, you don't strike me as someone who settles with safe..." she pointed out, chuckling softly, "For someone who only ever takes risks," Lydia added, referring to something he said not long back. Risks are all I take. "Dated?" she repeated, brushing some hair out of her face as she thought about it, wrinkling her nose slightly. "Not really. Can probably count them on one hand. Have never really been too bothered about it. And after being around someone for so long, it was nice to be...I dunno, on my own for a while. Not being in the mood to date for obvious reasons." She shrugged. "A few, maybe. Nothing really stuck. Hence why I say it's...been a while. How about you?"

Her question had him further considering his answer, building on what he was already thinking to himself anyway. It was an odd effect, the way she easily drew the truth out of him. One look and he was undone. "Well, no. Most of the time, yes - feedback never hurts. Some people run with it though, the opportunity to give feedback turns into telling them every shitty thought you've ever had of them. So, 50/50 I'd say." He raised an eyebrow at the comment, completely interrupting his train of thought. "Your comments are that harsh huh? I should brace myself then, but you don't kick puppies..right? Unfortunately, that's kind of a deal breaker for me." Her teasing smile was adorable. Was the thought of extra credit amusing her? What a nerd. "Hey, I'll take anything to help me pass your unofficial class." Words he never thought he'd hear himself say. But, the way her smile only grew wider, it amused him (maybe even scared him). The way she could get him to do anything with a simple smile. Uh oh, he had said something wrong already, hadn't he? Oh wait, nope. Lydia couldn't remain serious long enough to make him believe. It was true. He didn't have another choice. Well, he could go. Call it a night, and go their separate ways, but Aaron was too far in. So, her way was right. His arms went up, surrendering immediately. He was in for a trip, he could already tell. "Well, alright. No choice it is, I'll find some way to make it work though. Don't worry about it." Aaron was determined to try, to give himself a shot. Part of him worried that both him and Lydia had too much in their respective lives, skeletons in your closet and all that. Things that may come back to haunt them, and make this more complicated. Failed marriages connected them, it wasn't a stretch to think things may come along. Perhaps, he was getting ahead of himself. Aaron just couldn't shake the feeling away, that Lydia was more than one date. The conversation going on for hours, the laughter and smiles, even the oversharing he had started - it all had to mean something. "Bad?" His nose scrunched up, was it bad? Oh, this was embarrassing. "Not used to it, yeah I guess I stand out that way." he half-teased. "Glad to hear you're adaptable, I fear my list of weird comments can only grow. You let me know if it gets too..funky."

Aaron shook his head at her remark, and there it was. The famed extra credit assignment, a lot of work laid ahead. He rested his chin on his palm, a smirk adorning his lips. "Just had a feeling. On it boss," he said, with a playful military salute. "I'll have to gather my cleaning supplies." Another laugh earned, he should start collecting these like badges. Tally how many times he's made her laugh. "Oh yikes...no, my mom would kill me if I didn't at least learn. She's very insistent on us being independent and what not. I prefer a steamer though, those handheld ones are super useful." And since when was he a walking advertisement for steamers? Snap out of it. "I will take care of those wrinkles, no problem." The word promise wasn't in there, and still - the words felt heavy. He worried a bit, worried he would fail miserably. It had happened once before.

Lydia leaned in and her eyes never left his. She was listening to him. It was a nice feeling, having someone who was actually paying attention to you. Actually listening, instead of just waiting for you to stop talking so they could say the next thing. It was nice to have that attention again, without the eyes full of pity staring back at him. Oh poor Aaron, they left him you know? Or, it's terrible, divorced already. I heard his wife ran off with someone else. It was all he had been hearing lately, at the family gatherings or around friends. Things with his ex-wife, they were done. For a long time, Aaron let his melancholy drive him. Love was a complicated feeling. He felt deep regret that it didn't work, wishful thoughts of what he could've done better or changed about their relationship. But love, it had faded. Like an old paper cut. You could never see it, but it stung here and there. Vanessa was that paper cut. Just an old reminder of what had caused him so much pain. "Silly things that are costing me now though. It's crazy." A weaker chuckle left his lips, if only Vanessa shared the same idea that Lydia did. "Right? I mean, I thought we were still doing fun things, or maybe not." Once again, he was losing himself in his thoughts and what-ifs. Analyzing a situation that had no change. Until he heard her voice, she continued talking and it snapped him out of his spiral. "No no, you're not crossing a line at all. I appreciate the honesty, it's nice to hear after only hearing I told you so. Apparently most of my friends and family shared an opinion about her. I guess you're right though, that she just needed to get out." Now it was his turn to learn, Aaron just hoped he didn't inadvertently pressured her to overshare like he had. His gaze remained on her, head only tilting slightly - all his attention was on her. Nothing could distract him. Wow, this guy was a piece of work. He was shocked. Floored. And Aaron could only hope that his expressions were not giving him away. But wow. Who even was this guy? If Aaron thought Vanessa left him with baggage, Lydia's ex had left the whole suitcase set. His lawyer? His mouth felt dry as Lydia continued talking, wait was his mouth open? The shock was evident apparently. "Wow...that's, a shit ton." Frankly, no other way to put it. Holy shit. "Props to you, honestly. He really put you through a lot, he sounds like a nasty piece of work. Lucky you got out when you did and, I may be connecting all the wrong dots, but it sounds like he may have been on some destructive journey. I am glad you're here..now, that he didn't take you down with him. He may have taken the lawyer, but not you. Eh," he shrugged as her next comment. "I mean, I never thought lawyers were all that smart. Seems you just proved my point, I mean..a kid. Woah." A low whistle left his lips, the thought of a child stuck with a dad like that...poor kid. Aaron could only nod when she smiled once more, oversharing was over huh. He didn't mind at all, these conversations weren't really meant for a coffee shop in his opinion. More like a bar, with some drinks in hand. "Greener pasture indeed, and does the greener pasture include lower tolerance for bullshit or?" He'd assume yes, which meant he had to thread carefully, but who knows - maybe she was like him, still deciding if his experience completely changed his outlook on relationships.

He felt content here, felt at peace while they sat here. It was a new feeling for him, one that had been dormant for some time. Her hand din't move away, and Aaron was in no rush to change that. He remained still, trying to not startle her out of moving back. "You got it boss, I'll take meticulous notes." He felt a warmth in his chest, the odd butterfly waking up in his stomach only to zoom around. As if to alert every other butterfly, hey wake up! he's feeling something again! "Not doubting, just double checking before I jump in. Isn't that the safe thing to do?" He gave his best innocent smile, the kind that would sometimes get him out of trouble. "I don't know specifically, just wondering you know. If I'm the first to receive a warning about moving forward." Her question prompted one of his own though. "Have you dated a lot though, after your ex-husband?

#they're so cute im sdlgasdg #me? staying up late to finish one of our replies again? always #pls u know that second date is happening and she'd be up for anything SO IF DRINKS IT IS THEN IT IS #all of our threads are destined to be long IT IS WHAT IS IS #its not our fault they're all so cute :)#lydia is clearly...thinking Things #lydia x aaron #lydia x aaron ;; 002 #muse ;; lydia collins #lydia collins ;; interactions #overnightheartbeats #overnightheartbeats ;; aaron

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rogue-durin-16 · 4 years ago

Text

THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED (Part VII/VII)

"apart"

Summary: After Fred's death, George and Y/n lean on each other to carry on. This wasn't the most brilliant idea, though; George was pretty much in love with the girl, and Y/n— well, she had been dating Fred prior to the Battle of Hogwarts.

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

Suggested by: @crispykittywitch

George Weasley: @meph1stophelian

Things never go as planned: @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @beautyschoo1dropout @s1ut4georgeweasley @sunshineandshadows @missmulti @accioweaslcy @andreaareynoso @georgeweasley16 @dianarte @skarlettmikaelson

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @just-here-to-escape-from-reality

Warnings: language (?) Angst

A/N: P L E A S E DON'T MURDER ME YET THERE'S AN EPILOGUE OKAY?! OKAY now enjoy <3

Prologue: the aftermath

Part I: sleepless nights

Part II: candy floss

Part III: shock therapy

Part VI: wrong name

Part V: the perfect excuse

Part VI: the downfall

Epilogue: I still love you

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

Since the Amortentia incident, Y/n had barely looked at me; not in the way I had avoided her after New Year, though, this time, it was different. She didn't seem to be doing it accidentally, rather than on purpose; she appeared to be too lost into her turmoil of thoughts to realise what she was doing, which scared me more.

I had figured the Amortentia would have had something to do with it, but it took me two days to pick up on it.

Undoubtedly, Y/n had smelled Fred's scent on it, and it dawned on her how twisted what we were doing was.

I cried myself to sleep the night that my mind stumbled upon that information. I let myself sob violently, pouring out as much pain as I could, wanting to wash away the recurrent thoughts that creeped on my mind, thoughts that were not unfounded.

That was it— I had lost both a friend and the woman I loved.

Once the tears seem to die out, a new thought appeared in my mind; maybe I was meant to be alone. I could barely function alone, how was I supposed to function with another person?

Perhaps I had always be meant to be alone.

I was going to be alone forever.

I was alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER'S P. O. V.

It took my careless arse a hot minute to be aware of how obvious my emotional rollercoaster was from the outside; George had been getting visibly upset by it —I'd dare to reckon he even cried the past night because of it—, and I had to stop that, but how?

I knew it was always best to tell the truth, but where would that take us? Nowhere good. I couldn't just tell George I was in love with him and expect us not to fall apart even harder.

He would think I'm lying, or that I'm using him as a second option —I couldn't let him think that—, but again, his mind had probably gone to those thoughts due to my radio silence.

I had to tell him the truth, and face the consequences.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sound of our front door's lock opening snapped me out of my own mind, and even made me jump a bit in the couch I sat. I had been waiting for George to arrive for a good couple of hours, weighing on how I could approach the topic, but I didn't seem to come up with anything remotely good.

He stepped into the flat with his eyes casted down, so it took him a moment to acknowledge my presence. "I—" his now dull eyes observed me with confusion, as if he wasn't expecting to see me in my own flat. "what are you doing awake?"

"Waiting for you." He closed the door, scrutinising me with furrowed brows. "I— well—" I cleared my throat and got up, causing his shoulders to tense up. "I wanted to tell you something."

I thought I would have to fight his childish behavior and convince him not to dodge the subject, but he only leaned on the door, his hands behind his back and his eyes casted down. "I... I wanted to tell you something too."

"You go first." I prompted him, planning on using those extra seconds to mentally prepare myself for what I was about to say —as if I hadn't been trying to mentally prepare myself for two hours already.

He peeked at me and sighed, his eyes coming back to his shoes before speaking. "I don't know how to say this— I" he pursed his lips and I could see the struggle irradiating from him. "I think you should move out." Now I knew why he refused to meet my gaze. "We— we need time away y'know— Fleur offered to help you look for an apartment. I'll go back to the Burrow until you find one— and I'm not firing you but I would appreciate if you didn't attend the clients if I'm there."

I should have spoken first, I scolded myself.

"Why?"

"What why?"

"Why you should've spoken first?"

"I— well, so you see," I tugged on my sleeves; it was my turn to avoid his look. "W-when I spilled the Amortentia— well I— I smelled—"

"I know."

"You... Do?"

"Yeah, that's... That's why I think we need some time away."

I had never in my life had my heart shattered in so many pieces in such a short span of time. The pain was so immense that I wasn't able to shed a single tear. Out of every outcome, this was the least expected.

"O-okay." We kept sneaking glances at each other in a dreadful silence until our eyes accidentally met. "I think—"

"I should—"

Another best of silence fell among us after we simultaneously spoke.

"I should go pick some things up." He muttered, passing by my side as fast as he could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning I caught him, as I expected, sneaking out of the flat with one of the bags he had carried in months ago.

He was already exiting when I jogged out of my room, managing to catch his hand.

I could see the goosebumps in his arm, and I thanked Merlin he couldn't hear my heart threatening to leaving my chest to go with him.

"I'm really sorry, George." I whispered, squeezing his hand. Although I had a tiny bit of hope that he would change his mind and step back into our home if I said those words, it was more of a goodbye.

He just shook his head, letting me know there was no need for an apology, and squeezed my hand back before pulling away.

His fingers slipping away from mines was such an emptying feeling, as if my connection with him slept away from my grasp forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I went to sleep that night hoping George's parting would have been a nightmare, and I cried the morning after when my brain took in that it was, in fact, very much real.

A heavily pregnant Fleur showed up that afternoon; she made me dinner and tried to cheer me up a little before making me get dressed so she could drag me out to look for flats in the Diagon Alley. It was an unsuccessful trip, but the Triwizard Tournament Champion wasn't about to give up so easily, so she came the next day, and the following, and on and on for a week.

As if summoned by the woman's will to find me a new home, we found a cheap, acceptable apartment near the shop.

I purchased it instantly, and soon enough I was moving out my things with Bill's help, to stop his wife from helping me herself.

"That's the last one, right?" Bill questioned, nodding at the bag laying on the couch with a box in his hands.

"Yup." I pulled it up and hung it on my shoulder.

"Need anything else?" I shook my head no. "Alright then I'll leave this at your place and apparate back home." He hesitated for a moment before adding, "I know it's none of my business but... Whatever happened between you two— it's fixable, believe me."

"I really don't think so." I muttered, gripping the bag's strap.

"It is," he repeated, adjusting the box in his arms. "just don't give up." He gave me a small, reassuring smile and disapparated.

Maybe he was right, maybe it was fixable. Taking a look around the now emptier apartment, I thought it surely didn't seem like it, but hope is the last thing you lose, right?

In a final attempt of getting him back, I grabbed a notebook from the bag and teared a page off it; I left the bag besides me as I knelt down and reached for a pencil forgotten over the coffee table.

Three Days Later

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

I entered the apartment— it was quiet, similar to a cemetery, just like the first time I stepped on the apartment after the war.

This time, it was empty, though.

Y/n didn't rush to the door when I opened it.

She didn't catch me when I fell on my knees and broke down to tears.

I was alone.

After Godric knows how long I managed to get myself back to my feet. I passed Y/n's old room as fast as I had first passed Fred's room months ago.

Once I got to my room and lay down on my bed, my mind cleared up enough for me to realise that I would be seeing Y/n the next day —at least once— at the shop.

"Fuck." I muttered, burying my face on my pillow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER'S P. O. V.

He had asked me not to leave the office while he was in the shop.

He had explicitly asked me not to, but I needed to know if he had read my letter— no, I need to know if I had taken a step in the right direction by writing the letter.

So there I was, descending the stairs in his direction, and taking my time to do so since he was talking with a couple of clients.

"Y/n!" Verity rushed to me with what seemed a defective portable swamp. "I need your help with this," My eyes, still on George, caught the way his head snapped in my direction with sheer fear on it. "I've got a woman there threatening with suing us because the swamp send one of her children to St. Mungo!" The girl managed to get my attention with her anxious rambling.

"She can't do that." George, who had probably caught on Verity's words, spoke before I could. "She agreed on our shop policy." He reminded her, walking to stand by my side.

"I already told her that Mister Weasley, but she said she's 'not taking the words of a pipsqueak'." She replied in a whisper.

"She said what?" George questioned in disbelief.

"I'm gonna shove that lawsuit up her arse." I spoke, spotting the completely out of place middle aged woman who stood in front of Verity's till. "Send her to the office." Verity looked at me and then at George for confirmation, who simply gave her a nod.

Once Verity left, I turned to the ginger, whose warm eyes were already fixed on me. "How are you?" He inquired in a way that let me see it was out of politeness, which made my hopes die a little.

"Been better." I replied, ready to somehow test the waters. "How about you?"

"Same, I suppose." George didn't even try to put on a happy face, and I started to get anxious; there was no way he would have missed the note —I left it on the kitchen table— so that meant he had read it and- "You should go back to the office."

My heart attempted to hold onto the possibility of him not having read the note, but my brain knew better than that. "Alright." I nodded and went back to my workplace; I would deal with that woman and after that, I would prepare a resignation letter.

George was right, we needed to be apart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn't that bad, I lied to myself, sitting down on the sofa while undoing the tie's knot.

My mind was about to begin the overthinking of Y/n's words when my stomach growled. Without noticing, I had gone without a single meal for the entire day.

I listened to my body and moved to the kitchen to prepare myself something. While the stove heated up, I turned around and took a look at the kitchen; just like the rest of the rooms, it seemed gloomier without Y/n lighting up the apartment.

Stop thinking about her.

My eyes landed on a piece of paper with one of Y/n's rings over it. Before properly realising it, I was sitting down on one of the chairs and reading what had been written in the scrapped page.

Dear George,

I know what happened is on both of us, but I can't help but blame myself, as selfish as it might sound.

You don't know this, but while at Hogwarts, I found you and Fred rather annoying— I didn't understand why everyone seemed to fancy you so much. Then, you hired me to work in this amazing shop, and I understood.

During these past two years I had the pleasure and honour to call you my friend; you made my life much better, I'd like to think I did the same.

I wanted to apologise for everything I've done since New Year. I'm so very sorry for falling in love with you. Though it was something so easy to happen, I never thought it would go this far.

I don't know what is this letter (a proper goodbye? I don't know), but I want need you to know that I never wanted to harm you nor our friendship, and that I'm still going to be here for you, feelings aside.

Love,

Y/n.

I re-read the fourth paragraph at least five times before taking it in.

She had fallen in love with me.

That's what she had meant to say when she spoke to me about the Amortentia— that she had smelled my scent— Oh no.

My reply— she probably thought it was unrequited; she probably thought I had kicked her out because she was in love with me and not quite the opposite.

Without thinking twice, I ran down to the office with the letter clutched in my hand; she had to be there, she was always the last one to leave.

She had to be there.

I was so focused on reaching the office on time that I missed Y/b's figure exiting the shop.

I slammed the door open, just to find the table's surface, which used to be full of Y/n's things, clean in its entirety, aside from an envelope which had written on it 'resignation'.

"No."

READER'S P. O. V.

I had just left the small box with my things over the coffee table, and was taking off my shoes when an apparition noise followed by a couple of bangs on my front door made me jolt.

Out of a sad habit I, among the rest of the Order, had gotten during the war, I grabbed my wand and approached the door.

My arm fell limply on my side while I stared into George's eyes, which seemed to hold back a storm of mixed emotions.

"C-can we talk?" My gaze then fell on the paper his hand was gripping, and that I assumed was my resignation.

"George, listen, I can't—"

"I'm in love with you."

Words had stumbled out of his mouth in panic, and the only thing I could reply was, "What?"

#george weasley headcanon #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley fanfic #george weasley x you #george weasley x reader angst #george weasley x reader #george weasley x y/n #george weasley x ravenclaw!reader #george weasley x hufflepuff!reader #george weasley x gryffindor!reader #george weasley x slytherin!reader #george weasley smut #george x reader smut #harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfiction #things never go as planned

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hot-wiings · 4 years ago

Text

The One Where Tetsuro Drags Kenma To The Mall, And He Unsuspectingly Falls In Love.

Edited: 2-19-2021

Tetsuro Kuroo briskly walked through the busy halls of the mall with Kenma Kozume following behind him begrudgingly. He had his play station portable, PSP if you will, in his hand. He was only half paying attention to the walkway and where Tetsuro was heading. Tetsuro was a little bemused watching how Kenma was able to follow him and watching out for bumping into strangers.

"Can we go to the game store yet?"

Kenma had not intended or planned on being dragged to the mall by his best friend. Sometimes Tetsuro just didn't like going places alone, even if the said place was just the shoe store at the mall for some new volleyball sneakers. At least Tetsuro had the decency to bribe him with a free videogame.

"Yeah, sure."

Kenma was ecstatic as he saved the game on his PSP, turned it off, and carefully placed it in his backpack. He had been waiting so long to finally go into the videogame store, Tetsuro had taken over an entire hour picking out new volleyball shoes.

"Finally. I think you're the only person who spends over an hour looking for shoes."

"Hey! The right kind of shoes could be the winning factor to our games."

Kenma made his way directly to the game store with Tetsuro following behind him. Kenma made his way over to the PlayStation section, however, as he looked across the store and saw the woman running the register he bolted. Blood rushed to Kenma's cheeks as he quickly grabbed onto Tetsuro's jacket and pulled him into the X-Box section.

"What are you...? Why are we in this section? You hate X-Box users, you said they were inferior and made fun of me for almost buying one."

"The console, not the user, and because they are! I just... Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"Well, technically speaking it takes six months to fall in love... But I guess sometimes there can be exceptions."

The blush on Kenma's cheek was an evergrowing pink, quickly transitioning to a deep shade of red. He slightly poked his head out of the aisle in a discreet way as to not let you see him. It made him think of the game Call Of Duty and War Hawk, where he'd poke his body out slightly that enabled him to shoot without being shot at.

"I think I'm in love."

"With who? Her?"

Tetsuro poked his head out and Kenma quickly grasped onto his shirt and yanked him back in.

"You can't just look at her, she might come over here and she cannot come over here."

"Why not? You could get her number."

"I can't talk to her okay? I come in here all the time, and every time I see her at the checkout I get nervous, and barely any words come out."

Tetsuro patted Kenma on his back and scanned the shelf for a videogame that looked noteworthy.

"Don't worry about talking, I'm gonna get you her number then you can take it at your own pace."

"No, wait-"

"Don't worry, I got this."

Not an X-Box game, Kenma wanted to say. Not Paladins, Kenma desperately wanted to say, but it was too late. Tetsuro was walking away with the game in his hand towards the cash register and placing it on the counter, all Kenma could do was hide in the aisle with anxious anticipation.

"Hi."

"Hello, will that be all for you today?"

"Yup."

You raised your eyebrows in silent judgment as you scanned the videogame. Kenma supposed it really wasn't Tetsuro's fault for making the mistake. He didn't play videogames as Kenma did, his eyes weren't likely to spot the OverWatch hoodie you were wearing, Paladin's superior rival game, or the fact that you were wearing the PlayStation insignia on a bracelet over your wrist. Evidently, whatever Tetsuro said to you, Kenma knew you were going to shoot down.

"So, my friend back there couldn't help but notice you, but he's too shy to ask you for your number, so I was wondering if I could have your number to share with him."

You let out a nervous laugh as you lifted your eyes from the register screen to the area behind him, there was no one. You would have liked to say that you were the type of person that didn't disassociate yourself from or have a prejudice against people based on their likes and dislikes, but the fact that this guy had obvious poor taste in videogames and consoles accompanied by the fact he obviously had no friend left you feeling uneasy.

"Right, for your 'friend'. I don't feel very comfortable giving out my number, sorry."

Would the slew of pervy gamer guys never cease to exist? Every day a new guy was in here ready to hit on you.

"My friend is so sweet, I promise! He plays videogames and he's an athlete!"

This guy was getting creepier and creepier by the minute. You took Tetsuro's card from him and swiped it along with the machine with haste, hoping silently that the card wasn't declined and he would leave.

"I'm not allowed to serve out my number for personal gain. Corporate policy, sorry."

You rushed your words out politely hoping to both deter him from asking again and to lessen your chances of coming across as rude. You thrust his card forward, quickly folded his receipt in half, placed it on a bag with the video game, and pushed it forward on the counter with a beaming smile.

"Have a nice day and come again."

Please don't.

Defeated but not hopeless, Tetsuro went back to the X-Box aisle to return to Kenma who was reeling in second-hand embarrassment over how bad that went. You watched with wary eyes as your newest creepy customer returned to the gaming aisles despite having just paid. You left your head resting on the work phone that was clipped to your belt, you'd be shocked at the number of guys that came and harassed you simply for being a girl that worked in the videogame store. Perverts and misogynists were a pain, you could never be too careful.

"That went horrible."

"You grabbed an X-Box game, and you could've grabbed OverWatch at least, not Paladins. Anything but Paladins. Let's go home."

Kenma didn't even want to inform his friend how weird and sketchy he was acting when he talked to you.

"Nope! Time for plan B."

Tetsuro grabbed Kenma's arm and dragged him over to the PlayStation section, unbeknownst to your watchful eyes. You felt a little sheepishly embarrassed watching him pull his friend to the PlayStation section. You had seen the little blonde boy come in a lot, enough to know what kind of games and consoles he liked, yet you hadn't noticed them come in together or even seen another guy in the X-Box section, truthfully, you thought the dark-haired guy was another pervy boy trying to hit on you for being a girl in gamer apparel.

"You're going to take my game and get my money back, and then buy OverWatch. Now I want you to repeat after me. 'I need to return this. By the way, I think you're cool, do you want to hang out sometime?'. Apparently, it's against corporate rules to hand out her number."

"Okay, okay. I got this. 'I need to return this. By the way, I think you're uh, cool. Do you wanna hang out."

Tetsuro pushed Kenma out of the PlayStation aisle and he slowly walked to the counter, the blush on his cheeks still raging as he gripped the bag tightly. He put it on the counter and tried to take a deep breath before he talked.

"I need to return this for my friend and buy this."

"Your friend not a fan of Paladins?"

He didn't want to stray from the script that Tetsuro had given him, but man did Paladins aggravate him. It was a complete rip-off of OverWatch.

"No, it's, um, it's a rip-off of OverWatch honestly, and I-We prefer PlayStation games."

"I know- God, that sounded creepy. It's just that you're in here a lot."

Kenma let out a small laugh as you scanned the game. You felt embarrassed for letting on to the fact that he had left an impression on you. It wasn't like you were a creep, you just took notice when customers came in regularly, especially when they bought the games that you personally played. Kenma handed you Tetsuro's debit card and you swiped it to both return the original and buy the new one.

"So, uhm, I am in here a lot, and I've noticed you wear a lot of videogame apparel, and I think you're kinda cool, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime?"

"I'll do you one better, here's my phone number."

You scrawled your number down on the receipt and put it in the bag with the OverWatch game before you slid it over to Kenma with a smile. You leaned in close, whispered to him, and he swore his heart stopped beating as you stared into his eyes.

"Just, god this is so embarrassing. Can you preferably don't tell your friend I gave you my number...? I don't mean to offend, but he was actin' weird and kinda creeped me out, and I told him it was against corporate policy to get him to leave me alone."

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firstumcschenectady · 3 years ago

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“Every. Single. Time.” based on Exodus 16:2-4, 9-15

As far as I can tell, the stories of the wandering in the desert are stories of the people learning dependence on God. Many of the stories of Exodus repeat the narrative “(1) Something was wrong, the people were worried. (2) The people complained. (3) God provided.” Since deserts aren't super hospitable to life, they make sense as places people can learn their dependence. The writer of Deuteronomy ends up worrying that once the people enter the “land of milk and honey” they'll forget that they are dependent on God. In the early centuries of Christianity the “Desert Fathers and Mothers” returned to the desert to seek connection with the Divine, and learn again the lessons of dependence.

Historically, there are some reasons to question the overarching narrative of the 40 year wandering in the desert. It may be MORE true that some of the proto-Israelites were desert nomads for a prolonged time in their history, and some of the proto-Israelites were slaves who had escaped from Egypt, and some of the proto-Israelites were Canaanites who decide to follow YHWH when the nomads and former slaves told their stories about YHWH. I rather like this idea, because it is pretty easy to see how nomadic hunter-gatherers in a harsh desert climate would definitely experience the gift of life as a gift from God. And, that their descendants who lived a more settled and fertile existence could relatively quickly change their minds about how lucky they are to be simply alive.

I rather like how these stories begin. The people are frightened for their lives. There is a lack of FOOD or WATER, and those are seriously dangerous lacks. The stories present frightened people as appropriately and realistically negative. They grumble. They mumble. They complain. They romanticize their former lives. In this case, they say, “If only we had died by the hand of the LORD in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the fleshpots and ate our fill of bread; for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger." And, I'll admit, I feel for Moses and Aaron. That ISN'T FAIR. It isn't even TRUE. But, I also feel for the people, because when humans are frightened for their lives, they really can't be held accountable for being “unfair” much less have reasonable perspective.

In these Exodus stories, every single time, God intervenes and provides. EVERY SINGLE TIME. Sometimes Moses and Aaron get annoyed, sometimes God gets annoyed, sometimes as a reader it gets annoying that they don't learn how to trust faster, but God provides EVERY SINGLE TIME.

And I have some feelings about that, because in our world today there is both an abundance of food and an abundance of hunger. Based on both the stories of our faith and the miraculous food producing capacity of the earth, I'm pretty sure that the story is STILL that God provides. But... human beings get in the way. We hoard (the US government is one of the worst), we promote “competition” for who gets to eat, we blame the hungry for being hungry, and we permit wealth to rise to the top no matter the cost to the bottom.

God provides.

Humans intercept.

The challenge is not scarcity – there is enough. There is MORE than enough. The problem is distribution . That is, the problem is acting out the belief that all people are worthy of surviving and thriving, as beloveds of God.

Around here, we try to do our part to change that story. We promote the humanity and belovedness of all people. We have a free breakfast, and we give people extra food to help them make it through the week. We advocate for policies to alleviate hunger everywhere in the world. We donate to SICM and help with summer lunches. We educate ourselves about food distribution, and work with “Bread for the World.” Our tithes and offerings promote justice and compassion programs around the world, and our extra gifts to UMCOR just add on to it.

But, it is a big problem and there is lot of work to be done to BOTH feed all of God's people AND change policies so we don't allow anyone to be hungry.

Some of the reason I said all that is because it is true. Another reason is because I'm about to take this story metaphorically, and I could not do so in good faith until I also took the literal meaning of hungry people seriously as well. Especially now when A LOT more people are hungry world wide then were before the pandemic.

When I first considered this passage, my attention was drawn to that complaining and yearning for Egypt. It seemed worth talking about our yearning for what used to be, and how the yearning can erase the realities of the past – things like slavery for example. Much of what I hear, and a good portion of what I experience these days is a yearning for pre-pandemic times. Recently, after I'd shared a bit about how odd it was to give birth during a pandemic and how unexpected parenting a baby during a pandemic has been, a perspective person said, “Well, and you got pregnant before the pandemic, you didn't sign up for any of this.”

I sighed with relief, like you do when someone really understands. Also, I think that applies to all of us a little bit. The things we were thinking about, planning, and even worrying about 2 years ago all changed on us in early 2020. And we didn't sign up for this! The stressors and conflicts we live now we wouldn't have been able to dream 2 years ago. And we didn't sign up for this.

2 years ago wasn't great. It really wasn't. There were serious injustices happening, and the things we were worried about were real. Comparatively though, I see why we want to go back. I can even see why the people grumbling in the desert would have wanted to go back. With death looming, anything else looks better. But Egypt wasn't their future, it was their past. And we aren't going back to pre-pandemic times either.

The wandering in the desert, as the story says, was important for forming the people, forming their faith, teaching them their dependence on God. It got them ready for the Promised Land, but it was so hard and so terrifying, there were a lot of times they thought going back was worth it. Without knowing what the Promised Land would be like, or when they would get there, the only things they knew were the terrifying lack of resources of the desert and the utter oppression of slavery.

For most of us, our pre-pandemic times weren't THAT bad, but I hear people saying now, “Having had a break from it all, I don't want to live like that anymore.” We're different. We've been formed by this time in the desert. We're still being formed by this time in the desert. I'm not sure when the Promised Land is coming.

As much as the desire to go back to Egypt caught my initial attention, I couldn't help but notice that it is only the beginning of this story. This isn't the story of landing in the Promised Land. This is a story of having God provide. This is a story of there being BREAD on the ground in the desert that would sustain the people AND quails flying overhead for protein, and both of them being gifts of life from the God of life. (In the desert, where other people didn't interfere with God's gifts.)

This is the story where God says, “'At twilight you shall eat meat, and in the morning you shall have your fill of bread; then you shall know that I am the LORD your God.'" And then when it happened, and the bread showed up, the people said, “What is it??????”

And this is where I think God is leading me today.

We're in the desert, dear ones. Whatever our roles and circumstances were in Egypt, it is far behind. Whatever our roles and circumstances will be in the Promised Land, we aren't there yet. We are DEEP in the desert, learning our dependence on God. And that means that God is giving us gifts that we desperately need to survive.

And most likely we're responding along the lines of “Huh?” or “What is THAT?” Or “I'm not sure I want that.” Maybe more than anything we're thinking, “I'd rather have bread from Pereccas, or Gershons, or Friehofers.” These gift that God is giving, we might not even recognize them. We might not want them. We might be a little horrified.

Today's story ends with Moses telling the confused and hungry people, “It is the bread that YHWH has given to you to eat.”

What is the bread that God is giving to you to eat right now? How are you feeling about it?

Holy One, help us see what you are giving us, and help us receive nourishment from what you offer. We are tired, weary, weak, and frightened people. Your nourishment is what we need to go on, and we know that this desert wandering is not your final plan for us. Amen

August 1, 2021

Rev. Sara E. Baron

First United Methodist Church of Schenectady

603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305

Pronouns: she/her/hers

http://fumcschenectady.org/

https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

#Desert #Manna #What is it #Every Single Time #God Provides #Thinking Church #Progressive Christainity #Rev Sara E Baron #FUMC Schenectady #UMC #Sorry about the homophobic UMC world #We're working on it #Pandemic desert #God STILL provides #Hunger

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fuck-customers · 6 years ago

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cheap shoe store girl again. the assistant manager just came back after her two week leave of absence she took for her "mental health" during the freaking christmas rush (december 22-january 7).

it's been a long two weeks for me. i've been forced to cover most of the shifts and act as a manager which i have particularly been trained for. instead of having someone to ask for help from, i was the one figuring out scheduling conflicts with associates and making sure the store ran smoothly and telling the guy who was assigned our fill in store manager after january 1 what we need ordered (like paper towels and stuff). and like, despite how exhausted i was—to the point i was laying on the ground behind the register on sunday night and i needed help getting up because i was too sore to move—i worked through it, reminding myself that my paycheck was going to be absolutely kicking it and i really needed the money.

then, i go into work yesterday, the first day the assistant manager is back. she immediately berates me for not flipping the shoes or making my associate flip them (i had K, my associate, flip one aisle before i told her she could stop because i wasn't about to make her do all the work as i laid on the freaking ground) and tells me she had to pick up so much trash (which is complete bullshit considering i vacuumed the entire store and K went around and made sure anything left was picked up and thrown away as well as i literally took out the trash). she even writes this stupid note for me

i try explaining to her that 1) K and I were literally dead on our feet as we had been covering most of the shifts for two weeks straight 2) despite how bad our sales were it was super freaking busy and 3) we got fifty boxes of shipment last thursday and K and i were trying to process all of that by ourselves.

AM immediately tells me she doesn't care because she wasn't here and that i would be "flipping the store twice today" as a result. i stared at her and then proceeded to not flip the store. eventually i try to catch her up on the happenings of the store and she kind of just....... doesn't care.

she keeps saying that she hates this job and that she's actively looking for a new one and she's done here blah blah blah. i don't care tbh. if she leaves i'm probably going to be given her job which means a $3 pay raise which i definitely need. but then i try and tell her that our fill in store manager wants us to text him our request offs (which is what he told me when i wrote it down for him because i have to work my little brothers swim meet) and AM immediately tells me, "no offense, but i'm not listening to anything someone below me has to say anymore. if someone higher up wants to tell me something than they can tell me themselves but i don't feel comfortable with an associate telling me what to do."

that's great. i still have seniority over you as i've been here longer and i do most of your job for you anyway.

literally most of the time i work with her she's just sitting in the back room on her phone and making me run the store. i'm just so? frustrated? and i started nannying in the morning again today so by the time i needed to start getting ready for work (which is a couple of hours before my shift for me because i like having time to mess around) i was just filled with this massive sense of dread. i didn't want to go in, i'm exhausted, i haven't slept properly in s month, i'm having a lot of chronic back pain today, and i just don't want to have to put up with my AM today. so i talk to my best friend and i talk to my mom and they both tell me i should call off

the thing is i've never once called off my job in the seven months i've been working here. i'm typically the one to cover other people's shifts when they call off so i wasn't entirely sure what to do. i was going to ask the stores other key carrier if she could cover but i didn't have her phone number and i know her availability is extremely limited since she's back in college right now (and i took this semester off so i could save money for school) so instead i call the store. the AM asks why i'm calling off so i make some lie up about how my mom's sick and i have to pick my brother up from school and ferry him to and from swim practice, and she asks if i can come in after i get him from school. i say no because he has swim at 6pm.

instead of saying something along the lines of "okay have a good day" or whatever she IMMEDIATELY starts throwing a fit, telling me that i've worked here longer than her and i should KNOW that the policy is i need to cover my own shift when someone calls off (which is complete BS because that's managements job, not mine), and she asks if i called the other key carrier. i tell AM i don't have the girls number so i couldn't contact her and instead of saying "okay i'll ask her myself then" AM starts whining that now SHE has to stay until close and she's just being completely immature and rude about the entire situation.

first off she can't even ask me for a reason to call off, i'm legally not obligated to give one. second off this is the first time i've called off ever. third off WE HAVE OTHER EMPLOYEES? she's literally just victimizing herself so after she hung up i texted the district manager and the DM said she'd come in and cover my shift for me (thank god) and i'm glad that's settled and i feel a lot better not having to go to work, but the AM is really starting to piss me off. she's an adult like i am and SHE applied for her job. she needs to start acting like an adult and do her job properly instead of expecting me to do it for her

tldr; assistant manager can't handle her job responsibilities and takes it out on me just because i've worked there the longest

#cashier problems #retail law #call center problems #fuck coworkers #happy ending #submissions #retail justice #fuck retail #fuck co-workers #fuck managers #tw #embarrassing #trigger warning #fuck customers #server problems #submission

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