#i was worried i was only seeing people talk about the good and not the bad but i just kept seeing people on both sides

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

2025 book bingo time 📚

want a completely arbitrary set of reading goals for 2025? want to try something new in your literary diet but don't know where to start? just like a challenge for the sake of a challenge? just love a good game of bingo?

boy do I have something for you!

for anyone planning to participate, please know that I LOVE attention and talking about books, so I would be STOKED to be tagged on any and all updates about what you're reading or planning to read. I'm so, so excited to see all the different ways these prompts get filled, especially if and when they bring people away from the kinds of things they normally read. not to mention snag some new reading recs myself, hopefully!

and of course, I want to know whenever somebody gets a bingo - and ESPECIALLY if somebody fills the whole board! I don't have any prizes for you, but I can offer a sense of accomplishment :)

note that this is designed to be played as 1 book = 1 space, so even if you read, say, a fantasy graphic novel published in 1923 from an indie publisher that has a bat on the cover, you'd only cross off one space. I'm not a cop and I'm not in charge of what you read, so if it sparks more joy to check off multiple spaces per book then go nuts, but I am throwing that disclaimer out there.

wondering what some of these spaces mean? seeking a couple recommendations to get you started? no idea what a zine even is, let alone how to make one? worry not! I have a guide to all 25 prompts, including recommendations + an example of what I'll be reading throughout the year to fulfill each space. read on beneath the cut!

Literary Fiction: I find that a lot of people are reluctant to check out literary fiction, as it’s often written off as not being about anything but adultery and divorce. If this is you, I implore you to take a chance, acknowledge that adultery and divorce are compelling sometimes, and also remember that lit fic has a lot more to offer than that. At Writer’s Digest, Michael Woodson describes literary fiction as “less of a genre than a category,” which “focuses on style, character, and theme over plot.” My recommendations include Raven Leilani’s Luster, Ocean Vuong’s On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, and Melissa Broder’s Milk Fed. 

I’ll be reading: Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar

2. Short Story Collection: You know, a bunch of short stories together in one book? It doesn’t get much more self-explanatory than that. Could be a collection of stories by a single author or an anthology—it’s up to you! I recommend checking out Mariana Enríquez’s The Dangers of Smoking in Bed (translated by Megan McDowell), Nalo Hopkinson’s Falling in Love With Hominids, and Kim Fu’s Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century. 

I’ll be reading: Your Utopia by Bora Chung and translated by Anton Hur 

3. A Sequel: It could be one that you’ve been meaning to get around to, one that’s not releasing in 2025, or the sequel to something you read to cross off another space on this very bingo sheet!

I’ll be reading: Heavenly Tyrant by Xiran Jay Zhao, sequel to 2021’s Iron Widow 

4. Childhood Favorite: Go back and read a book you loved as a child, tween, or teen! There’s no wrong answer here; anything from a YA novel to a picture book would be just lovely, and I can’t wait to see what people pick for this option! I’m not sure which of my old favorites I’ll be revisiting yet—should I go for the warm and fuzzy Casson Family series, or straight towards the mindfucky sci-fi of Interstellar Piggy? Or maybe I’ll go see how Artemis Fowl holds up...

5. 20th Century Speculative Fiction: For those not familiar with the term, speculative fiction can encapsulate science fiction, fantasy, and anything else that falls into the unreal. You’re spoiled for iconic choices here: the 20th century gave us Le Guin’s Left Hand of Darkness, Atwood’s Handmaid’s Tale, Butler’s Parable of the Sower and Kindred, L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time, the beginning of Pratchett’s Discworld series, Diana Wynne Jones’ Howls’ Moving Castle, and countless others.

I’ll be reading: Dawn by Octavia E. Butler, love of my literary life 💜

6. Fantasy: Fantasy comes in a thousand different shades, from contemporary urban wizards with day jobs at the office to high fantasy spellslingers chasing dragons away from castles. Some examples I’ve adored are N.K. Jemisin’s The Killing Moon, C.L. Polk’s Witchmark, Fonda Lee’s Jade City, and Nghi Vo’s Empress of Salt and Fortune.

I’ll be reading: The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty  

7. Published Before 1950: This one could not be more straightforward if I tried. You have all of human history (or at least, all the parts that have surviving literature), just not the last 75 years. Dig deep! 

I’ll be reading: Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, published in 1938 

8. Independent Publisher: Did you guys know that just five publishing companies (Penguin Random House, HarperCollins Publishers, Macmillan Publishers, Simon & Schuster, and Hachette Book Group) are responsible for 80% of books published in the US each year, and 25% of books globally? Break away from the big five and see what some small presses are putting out! If you need some ideas about where to start, check out this list of nearly 300 independent publishers with notes on what kind of books they put out!

I’ll be reading: Taiwan Travelogue by Yáng Shuāng-zǐ and translated by Lin King, from Graywolf Press

9. Graphic Novel/Comic Book/Manga: Despite my personal obsession with Batman, the world of comic books is sooo much wider than Gotham City—or anything else that DC and Marvel have to offer. If superheroes aren’t your speed, check out the Southern gothic of Carmen Maria Machado and Dani Strips’ comic The Low, Low Woods, splash around in Kat Leyh’s graphic novel Thirsty Mermaids, or stop waiting for a new season of Dungeon Meshi and go read Ryoko Kui’s manga, translated to English by Taylor Engel. 

I’ll be reading: The Fade, by Aabria Iyengar and Mari Costa

10. Animal on the Cover: Yes, yes, don’t judge a book by its cover—but do go find one with a critter on the cover and give it a read! Absolutely no other requirements here, get silly with it.

I’ll be reading: Shark Heart by Emily Habeck

11. Set in a Country You Have Never Visited: Fiction or nonfiction, doesn’t matter so long as it gives you a little glimpse of a country you’ve never visited in real life. If you’ve somehow visited every country currently recognized in the world, then I guess you get to go read something set in space.

I’ll be reading: A Magical Girl Retires by Park Seolyeon and Kim Sanho, translated by Anton Hur 

12. Science Fiction: A genre just as diverse as fantasy, with a little something for everybody! I recommend Becky Chambers’ Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet for those who want to kiss an alien in the stars and Jessamine Chan’s The School for Good Mothers for those who want a surveillance state dystopia that hits much closer to home.  

I’ll be reading: Womb City by Tlotlo Tsamaase

13. 2025 Debut Author: Read a book by someone who’s releasing their first book in 2025. Fic or nonfic, any genre, no further requirements. Not quite a free space, but pretty close!

I’ll be reading: Liquid: A Love Story by Mariam Rahmani, coming out March 11

14. Memoir: Per Wikipedia, a memoir is “any nonfiction narrative writing based on the author’s personal memories.” Some are funny, some are heartbreaking, some are both! I recommend Carman Maria Machado’s In the Dream House and Roxane Gay’s Hunger, because I tend to lean heartbreaking! 

I’ll be reading: Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner. Again, I like heartbreaking!

15. Read a Zine, Make a Zine: Not familiar with zines? No problem! Check out some of these digital archives for inspiration, and then craft your own zine with this simple guide (or do it your own way, I’m not in charge of you). 

Internet Archives: https://archive.org/details/zines

Gay Zine Archive Project: https://gittings.qzap.org/ 

POC Zine Project: https://poczineproject.tumblr.com/ 

Library of Congress: https://www.loc.gov/collections/zine-web-archive/ 

16. Essay Collection: Like a short story collection, but it’s nonfiction now. Some of my favorites include Samantha Irby’s We Are Never Meeting in Real Life, Elaine Castillo’s How to Read Now, Aimee Nezhukhumatathil’s World of Wonders, and Cathy Park Hong’s Minor Feelings.

I’ll be reading: A Little Devil in America: In Praise of Black Performance by Hanif Abdurraqib 

17. 2024 Award Winner: What award? Any award you like! And boy, there are tons to pick from. Any book that won any award in the year 2024 is free game. If you need some places to start looking, check out some of these:

Lambda Literary Awards, for excellence in LGBT literature: https://lambdaliterary.org/awards__trashed/2024-winners/ 

The Alex Awards, for adult books with crossover appeal for teen readers: https://www.ala.org/yalsa/alex-awards 

Ignyte Awards, celebrating diversity in speculative fiction: https://ignyteawards.fiyahlitmag.com/2024-results/  

Women's Prize for Fiction (self explanatory) https://womensprize.com/prizes/womens-prize-for-fiction/

Others: https://www.bookbrowse.com/awards/ 

I’ll be reading: Biography of X by Catherine Lacey, winner of the 2024 Lambda Literary Award for Lesbian Fiction

18. Nonfiction: Learn Something New: I know very little about archaeology, anthropology, or any other fields that involve studying ancient cities, but Annalee Newitz’s Four Lost Cities: A Secret History of the Urban Age was some of the most fun I had with nonfiction in 2024, because every page brought a brand new discovery. For 2025, find a nonfiction book about a topic you don’t know ANYTHING about, and learn something new!

I’ll be reading: Cooling the Tropics: Ice, Indigeneity, and Hawaiian Refreshment by Hi’ilei Julia Kawehipuaakahaopulani Hobart

19. Social Justice & Activism: Read a book about a social issue, the history of an activist movement, or brush up on a guiding philosophy or ideology. Arm yourself with knowledge, besties, because I have a feeling we’re going to need it! if you need a good place to start, why not try Angela Davis' Race, Women & Class, Mariame Kaba's We Do This 'Til We Free Us, or Molly Smith and Juno Mac's Revolting Prostitutes?

I’ll be reading: White Feminism: From Suffragettes to Influencers and Who They Leave Behind by Koa Beck

20. Romance Novel: Listen to me. Fucking listen to me. I mean a ROMANCE. NOVEL. Not a novel that incidentally has a romance in it. Romance novel, motherfucker. Go check out the romance section and have some whimsy as two people fall in love through the most contrived series of events ever conceived. If you really need a romance that makes you feel smart (that’s still sexy and messy as hell), try Akwaeke Emezi’s You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty.

I’ll be reading: Go Luck Yourself by Sara Raasche  

21. Read and Make a Recipe: Could be a cookbook, could be a recipe you yoinked from the New York Times, could be something your grandparents lovingly wrote down by hand. Could be as complex or as simple as you like, just make something tasty! Some cookbooks I’ve enjoyed are Sohla El-Waylly’s Start Here, Dan Pashman’s Mission Impastable, and John Wang and Storm Garner’s The World Eats Here.

22. Horror: Slashers, zombies, haunted houses, creeping paranoia, you name it! It’s time to get spooky and scary with all kinds of things going bump in the night. Maybe this is the year to finally keep up with Dracula Daily? Not for me, I'm not doing that, but you could!

I’ll be reading: I Was A Teenage Slasher by Stephen Graham Jones

23. Published in the Aughts: A throwback, but not too far back. Read something published between 2000 and 2009. Maybe it’s time to finally get into Twilight? (For legal reasons, that’s a joke.)

I’ll be reading: The Sluts by Dennis Cooper, published in 2004

24. Historical Fiction: You know, fiction that takes place in a bygone era! Please remember, this isn’t just about reading a book that’s old; we have a separate prompt for that! This is about reading something that takes place in the past relative to the time it was written. Pride and Prejudice is historical to us, but was contemporary when Austen wrote it. Think of Brit Bennett's The Vanishing Half, Markus Zusak's The Book Thief, or history + a bit of fantasy in book's like R.F. Kuang's Babel.

I’ll be reading: The Yiddish Policemen's Union by Michael Chabon

Bookseller or Librarian Recommendation: This one is fun, and something I always like to do when I’m travelling and visiting a new bookstore. Ask a bookseller or librarian to recommend something they’ve liked, and check it out! If going in person isn’t feasible, many bookstores and libraries have staff picks on their websites, and the Indie Next List is a monthly list of independent booksellers’ favorite new releases. 

I’ll be reading: The Last Report on the Miracles at Little No Horse by Louise Erdrich, which I bought at Erdrich’s bookstore, Birchbark Books, this summer :)

lastly: tagging people who asked to be tagged to make sure they didn't miss this! @thebisexualwreckoning @perfunctoryperfusions @reallyinkyhands come get your bingo sheet!

[suzukiblu]

Day thirty of “obligatory sugar baby Kon” behind the cut, the final day!! Eyyyyy, gang, we did it! Full month of daily updates for this one, haha. Ended up writing about 24k, give or take a few hundred words. prev: (( chrono || non-chrono ))

The alert on his communicator goes off again, and then again a few seconds later. Tim represses another frown. Nobody double-texts him on Tim Drake’s phone. The only people who ever would are Dick and Steph, and Dick never texts Tim Drake’s phone outside of emergency situations where Tim’s not suited-up and Steph doesn’t have Tim Drake’s number at all; they just use burners and the occassional dead drop. So who . . . ? 

The alert goes off a fourth time. Tim definitely doesn’t panic, but also definitely turns his wrist in his lap underneath the fall of his cape and taps the little armored pocket where he hides one of his micro-receivers for situations where he can’t pull the full-sized one out of his utility belt without being obvious about it. Cissie’s distracted with whatever’s distracting Cassie and neither of them can see his eyes behind the lenses of his mask, so it’s not difficult to slip it into his palm and out from under his cape to glance down at as he thumbs it open to wake up the tiny little screen. Four text alerts, and the caller ID is scrolling “UNKNOWN NUMBER” across the screen. 

Okay, so his civilian number is getting spam texts now. Jesus, he was worried, that’s so–

The actual number of the unknown number scrolls across the screen after the text. Tim . . . blinks. 

. . . that’s Kon’s number. Specifically, the number of the phone he bought Kon. Who is literally right outside, according to Cassie, and . . . texting somebody. While he’s out there. While he’s out there, and Tim is in here, and is being Robin. 

Tim has literally no idea how he feels about this situation, and honestly neither does Robin.

He opens the text log, and there are, in fact, four texts from Kon in it. 

so like 

superweird questin 

liek uh rly superweird tbh but uh 

cn u wish me luck babe??

Tim stares blankly at the messages. “Wish me luck”? That’s–what? 

Good luck, Kon, he texts back after a moment, figuring it’s the logical response anyway and assuming that using the other’s real name will help him feel better about whatever he wants the aforementioned “good luck” for. He’s going to have to try and get a read on him when he comes in, see if he can’t work that out. If it’s something to be concerned about . . . 

thx, Kon sends back with a blue heart emoji and literally nothing else. 

Blue, Tim thinks, yet again having to repress a frown. What the hell does a blue heart mean? Does that mean anything? 

He barely bites back the question, because it’s way too risky to ask even if if anyone knows what different-colored heart emojis mean it is definitely a teenage girl and if he texts Steph with a random question with no context attached and then doesn’t stick around to talk she’ll get annoyed and might leave another glitter bomb in their next dead drop. 

He really doesn’t wanna have to explain glitter in his cape to Bruce again. Or worse, explain glitter in his cape to Alfred. Alfred did not appreciate the glitter tracked all over the cave last time. Very, very much did he not appreciate it. 

Maybe Kon just picked it because he likes blue. Or maybe red seemed like too much to him? Or maybe– 

“I’m back!” Suzie announces excitedly as she spills into the room, and Bart bolts through her smoke trail a moment later and stops on a dime right next to the kitchen table. 

“What’s going on?” he asks, wrinkling his nose down at Cissie and Cassie. “Are you crying? Is it because your wig looks weird? It’s not that weird. I mean, kinda.” 

“That HeroWatch magazine thinks it’s your real hair!” Suzie offers brightly. “So it can’t be that weird.” 

“I am not crying and HeroWatch thinks what?!” Cassie demands, whipping her head up to stare at them both with a horrified expression. “It’s not even real hair! It’s like, synthetic! I buy the stupid things off Amazon!” 

“You should stop doing that,” Tim advises reflexively. There are so many ways for that to end badly for her secret identity. Genuinely so many that he doesn’t even know where to start, in fact. 

“And do what instead, exactly?” Cassie asks with a sullen scowl, leaning back just enough to fold her arms. “I can’t just clear out Spirit Halloween every–” 

She cuts herself off and stiffens, then jerks to her feet very quickly and straightens her wig and jacket even quicker. Tim has half a second to remember that while Cassie’s hearing isn’t super, it’s definitely enhanced, and then Kon walks into the room. 

“Yo,” he says, half-waving a hand at the table and then making a face. “Shit, I’m the last one here? Figures.” 

Tim . . . blinks. Blinks again. Cassie looks downright agonized, and Suzie and Bart both tilt their heads in opposite directions. Cissie raises both eyebrows and looks him up and down. 

“Jesus Christ, Kon, that is borderline indecent expo–” she starts incredulously, and Cassie immediately claps a hand over her mouth and leans down to hiss into her ear: “Cissie, you are my best friend and I love you and shut the hell up right the hell NOW.” 

Tim attempts to make his brain work. It needs to, like–do things. Be usable. Functional. Brain . . . able. 

The problem with that is the fact that Kon is currently wearing the tiny little jean shorts that first made Tim aware of the existence of the other’s thighs and the S-shield crop top that people really should have more respect for Superman than to have made and sold commercially with his usual leather jacket and sunglasses and a pair of heavy black boots that Tim also bought him, plus the sapphire stud earring from their last date with a little bit of eyeliner and chipped black nail polish and . . . thighs. Just–thighs. Kon is very, very much wearing thighs right now. 

. . . thighs.

Tim suddenly understands literally everything about the way Cassie came in acting and literally everything she’d said on top of that. Also, he isn’t sure, but he thinks maybe this is worse than the changing room was? Like, this might be worse than the changing room was. Because Kon’s not posing to show himself off like he was there, and “Tim Drake” isn’t here for him to be showing off for. So Kon is, presumably, wearing this outfit just because he wants to be wearing it. 

Tim needs a minute. Or a year. Or maybe a hard reboot and a new identity and a new reality to move to. Not permanently or anything, just until he can remember how to function like a reasonably-normal person again or he needs to send Kon his allowance, whichever comes first. 

It’s going to be the allowance, he already knows. It’s definitely, definitely going to be the allowance. 

“Huh,” Suzie says, looking a little perplexed. 

“Oh, is that what hormones are?” Bart says, looking surprised. “Weird.”

[quintessenceofdust88]

Nonna Rosa fixes it

Okayyy, it's officially not the weekend anymore, but only for like five minutes, so technically I'm on time! This got totally away from me, and I had to actually force myself to end it where I did. Nonna Rosa took the narrative from my hands and said 'I'll take it from here', and good for her. Not to be dramatic but I love her. Anyway, if any Italian-speaking people read this: I AM SO SORRY. This is all Collins dictionary or Google Translate, I don't speak a word of Italian and I'll be very glad to correct any mistakes you might notice ♥ I hope you guys enjoy it! if you want to know more about Nonna Rosa, send me an ask, I have looots of headcanons for her (and Tommy's childhood). Here you go:

A week after breaking up with Evan, Tommy is still feeling like shit. He can barely sleep, anything he tries to eat tastes like sawdust, and he feels like he’s living on autopilot. He goes to work, he comes back home, he tries to eat, he tries to sleep, rinse and repeat. Nothing else matters, there’s nothing else he feels like doing. He doesn’t answer Howie’s texts asking how he’s doing (he answered the first one, telling Howie not to worry about him, but can’t do more than that); he completely ignores Eddie’s invitation for Muay Thai and basketball, and he comes up with an excuse as to why he can’t make karaoke bar that Thursday. And yet, there’s one thing he can’t put off, as much as he wishes to: talking to his Nonna. 

Tommy calls his grandmother at least once a week; she still lives in Indiana, in the same house he spent most of his childhood in, and he knows his uncle Bart visits often. But he likes to hear from her himself. Visiting her was a rare occasion, and the last time he was able to was about four months ago. The minute he had stepped in, Nonna had asked him if he was ‘innamorato’, because he was looking so much happier than usual.

And he knows she’ll perceive his sadness just as quick, if not quicker. The woman has always been able to read him like an open book. She’s probably the only person alive who can; he’s always made sure to keep his layers hidden from everyone else, even from… 

Well. Doesn’t matter now, does it? 

Fact is, that if he misses his call with Nonna, it’ll be even worse. She’ll know something’s up, and he doesn’t put past her to fly across the country to check on him (he’s always been the favorite grandson and everyone knows it). So it’s best to get it over with. With a heavy sigh, he sits down on his couch (and tries not to think about how empty it feels when it’s just him in there) and rings her up, bracing himself.

“Pronto? Tommasino?” She answers the call, as always with the camera too close to her face, and that at least brings a smile to his face.

“Nonna, you need to stretch your arm a little. Remember, like Charlie showed you?” He asks with a chuckle; Charlie being his cousin’s daughter, Charlotte, who taught Nonna how to FaceTime so she could ‘see Tommasino’s pretty face more often’, in her own words. 

She stretches her arm and Tommy gets a good look at her. Nonna looks the same as always, sharp blue eyes in a soft face that’s wrinkled both from age and from a lifetime of smiles. Her hair is wrapped in hair rollers and tucked safely behind a red bandana. Tommy misses her fiercely, and wishes more than ever that he could get wrapped in one of her hugs. 

They always did wonders for him when he was a little boy who used to climb trees and get scrapes and bruises; when he was a scared eleven-year-old missing his mother (and as a grown-up he can appreciate Nonna was hurting at least as much as him, having lost her daughter, but still never let it show) and dealing with an angry abusive father; when he was a scared eighteen-year-old, before leaving the only home he’d ever known to join the Army. And when he was a scared 33-year-old man, coming out as gay to his 75 year-old-grandmother, afraid of being rejected by the one person alive who truly loved him, and Nonna had stood on her tiptoes, pulled him into one of those hugs, and told him all she ever wanted for Tommy was to see him happy, and that she would always love him. 

A hug from his grandmother had always made Tommy feel like the world was an easier place to be faced, and right now, that’s exactly what he needs. And his longing must show in his face, because she’s frowning at him, her eyes full of concern. 

“Oh, Tommasino” She says softly. “What’s wrong, bambino mio? You look so sad” She asks, and to Tommy’s horror, he finds his eyes filling up. Nonna has that way of bringing out every emotion he tries to repress.

“Everything’s wrong, Nonna, and it’s all my fault” He blurts out before he can stop himself, and the look on his grandmother’s face tells Tommy she’d be placing a sizable plate of cake and a cup of strong coffee in front of him if she could.

“You have a habit of saying things are your fault even when they aren't, so I'm afraid I'll need the entire story, my boy” She says gently, and Tommy watches as she sits down by her kitchen table (the same kitchen table where he did most of his school homework, the same kitchen table from where he always used to steal a biscotti while they were still warm), supporting her face in her hand and turning those sharp blue eyes at the phone screen. Tommy swears he can feel them pierce through his very soul. “What happened? Is it your Evanino?”

The question sends a knife right through Tommy's chest as he imagines what could have been. Gosh, Nonna would have loved Evan (who doesn't love Evan, you idiot?, he tells himself), and he knows deep in his heart Evan would have loved her as well. Every time Tommy would talk about her (which he did fairly often; he was a grandma's boy and had no shame about it), Evan would get a wistful expression on his face and tell Tommy that she sounded awesome.

He had been planning on taking Evan with him next time he managed to visit her, not wanting to introduce them through the phone. Now it's for the best he didn't; at least Nonna won't have to miss him like Tommy does.

“He… he's not mine anymore, Nonna,” He admits, his voice thick with emotion. “We broke up”

“What?! Ma comme?! You were so happy last time we talked!” She asked, and of course Tommy was happy; it was the day before their six month anniversary, and he had been so full of excitement. “Was he not happy? Is that why you're blaming yourself, Tomasino?”

A smile as bright as sunshine crosses Tommy's mind. A smile that only started to fade once Tommy told him he knew how it ended. A smile that had become his personal beacon of light in the past six months. A smile he misses like a lost limb.

“He… he was happy” He says, because that much he knows to be true; Evan was happy with him, Tommy made sure of that. His grandmother frowns at that, and Tommy doesn't blame her; the story seems convoluted, feels convoluted, even to himself, and he lived it.

“Thomas, you have to help your old grandmother, because I cannot understand what is the problem. If you were happy and he was happy, then why are you not together anymore?”

“Because he asked me to move in with him” Tommy says, and that doesn't seem to clear the situation for her. If anything, her frown deepens, and she reaches for a piece of bread, fiddling with it; Nonna could never keep her hands still, especially when she was nervous, and Tommy had inherited that from her. 

“Does that mean something different when it’s two men?” She asks, completely genuine, and that earns a surprised chuckle from Tommy. 

“No, Nonna” Tommy says, and all of a sudden the urge to laugh is gone again; it never lasts long, not after Evan. “It… It means the same”

“Very well, and you said no? That’s why he ended things?” She asks, and Tommy sighs brokenly, the memories of the night no less painful than when it happened.

“No. I… I broke up with him, Nonna. He asked me to move in with him, and I didn’t just say no. I… I broke up with him," Tommy admits with a heavy heart. 

“Tesoro, you do realize you are not making any sense? You and your boy were happy; he asked you to move in with him, and instead you broke up with him. Then you show up looking like your heart was broken and tell me it is your fault. What am I missing, bambino?”

“I have a house, Nonna!” He snaps, finally being able to voice the things that have been stewing in his heart and mind since that night. “I have a house, and he lives in a rented loft, and it makes no sense for me to move in with him!”

Nonna doesn’t answer right away. She chews thoughtfully on her bread, letting a small silence fall between the pair of them before she eventually sighs and answers him.

“Benne, you have a point, it wouldn’t make sense. But that isn’t the whole problem, is it, Tommasino?” Nonna adds shrewdly. “You could have talked it out, explained that to him. So what made you walk out of the best thing that happened to you in years?”

Tommy can always trust Nonna to lay things down exactly as they are, no matter how painful it sounds. She’s right, he did walk out of the best thing that happened to him in years, maybe ever, and it’s getting harder and harder to justify that decision to himself. 

“N-Nonna, I was… I was falling so in love with him” He tells her, and feels tears starting to prickle the corner of his eyes.

“Yes, I’ve known that since last time you were here” Nonna says impatiently. “That’s not a reason to leave, Thomas; that’s a reason to stay”

“Only if he loved me back” He says automatically, and Nonna crosses her arms, unimpressed. 

“And who says he doesn’t? Did you ask him?” She asks sharply, and Tommy sighs. This conversation is taking a completely different route than what he expected. 

“I didn’t have to, Nonna. I… I just know it, okay? I was his first relationship with a man. I cannot be the last, that’s not how it works. And I… I thought I was okay with it, that I could enjoy it while it lasted, but… But I didn’t expect to love him this much” He admits, as much to himself as to her. It’s all his fault, really, for falling so deeply, flying too close to the Sun. “I-it’s safer to break my own heart now than to let him do it when I’m way too deep to recover. N-not that I’m recovering all too well, but… could be worse” He finishes, already wiping the few tears that inconveniently decided to rush down his cheeks. 

If Tommy expects his grandmother to nod sympathetically at that and coo at him (he kinda does; she has a habit of doing that when he cries), he has another thing coming. Nonna scoffs loudly, hitting the table with her hand, strong from decades of kneading bread. The noise is enough to startle Tommy out of tears.

“Thomas Domenico Kinard, I didn’t know me and your dear Mamma, may God have her soul, had raised an estupido vigliacco!” She exclaims, her hand flailing loudly to emphasize her words. 

Tommy will be the first to admit his Italian is rusty, but he’s pretty sure she just called him a stupid coward. And. Ouch.

“Nonna!” He exclaims back, but she isn’t dissuaded. She tuts him with a sharp ‘Silenzio!’ and a raised finger, and Tommy shuts up right away. He knows that when Nonna starts, the best he can do is take the scolding, so he leans back on his couch, trying his best not to look like a chided boy who got caught stealing fruit from the neighbor’s orchard.

“You are my grandson, and I love you more than anything in this world. You are a good man with a wonderful heart, but you have one big problem, Tommaso. You always assume you know people’s feelings better than they do, and then you make your own decisions based on that without actually asking anyone. Remember when you decided I should move to California because you thought I was lonely here?” She asks, raising an eyebrow, and Tommy nods sheepishly. “Do you remember what I told you?”

“That if and when you wanted to move to California, you would let me know, but you were perfectly capable of making your own decisions” He mumbles back, the epic scolding from five years ago still fresh on his mind. 

“Esattamente. Now, I think your Evanino deserves the same courtesy. He is not a silly child, Thomas. If he wants you to be his last, if he loves you, who do you think you are to decide that he doesn’t?”

“But he never said he did,” Tommy replies stubbornly. “He… He never even told me he loved me, he just asked me to move in with him. It’s like… It’s like he wanted to prove a point, Nonna. That he could be… committed, or queer, or whatever, I don’t know. But he never said he loved me”

“Did you say it to him?” Nonna asks, and Tommy stares at her with his mouth agape. Damn this woman and her ability to ask the most uncomfortable questions. 

“N-no” He admits. “I… I was too afraid of him not saying it back”

“Hmmm” Nonna hums thoughtfully. “That’s your other problem, bambino mio. You think you don’t deserve to be loved. I blame that man for that” Nonna says with a scoff, and they both know exactly who she’s talking about; there’s no lost love between Rosa Lucciola and her ex-son-in-law, Brian Kinard, and the way he treated Tommy and his mother before she passed is the sole reason for it. 

“Well, that’s neither here nor there, Nonna” He says with a shrug, always uncomfortable when his father becomes even a small topic of conversation, but she tuts disapprovingly.

“Ah, isn’t it? Has it never occurred to you that maybe your Evanino could have the same problem? That he was as afraid as you to show his heart and have it broken?”

Tommy desperately wants to say that he thought about it, that it occurred to him; but it hasn’t. Evan is such a sunshine of a man, always so prone to smiles and loving gestures towards anyone he cares about, that Tommy never thought there could be insecurities there. Now it makes him feel selfish and stupid (or estupido as Nonna had so accurately called him). 

“Nonna…” Tommy says, his mind catching up to everything she said and a horrifying realization dawns on him. “What if he did love me back? Oh my God, did I fuck this up?!” He asks before he can stop himself. 

“Language! Do not take the Signore’s name and swear in the same sentence!” She chides him, and Tommy mutters ‘sorry’, but her look is impossibly fond. “But, well. Maybe you did; maybe you didn’t. Are you going to sit around and mope or try to find out?” Nonna challenges him. 

“W-what if he never loved me, Nonna? Or what if he did, but me walking out made him stop?” Tommy asks, not knowing which possibility scares him the most.

“What if he still does, Thomas?” Nonna counteracts. “What if he loves you and is too afraid to reach out because you already rejected him once, hm? Someone has to be brave, and he already was when he asked you to move in, bambino. Maybe it was a little impulsive, but his heart was in the right place; it was in your future together”

Tommy realizes Nonna is right. He can’t expect Evan to reach out (he realizes he was at some level, and he would have rushed to it; one call from Evan and Tommy would be right back to his life, ready to reheal his own heart when things inevitably went wrong, just for another glimpse of Evan Buckley’s personal sunshine); it’s his turn to fight for them. It’s his turn to be brave. 

“Ah, you finally realized it, hm?” Nonna says; something must be showing on his face, because there’s a satisfied smile on her face. “Fight for that boy, Thomas. Fight for your happiness, tesoro. Prove to your Nonna you are not estupido”

“Nonna, you are most definitely the best person on the planet, and I promise you didn’t raise a estupido. I’ll do right by Evan. By… By me. By both of us” Tommy promises to her, promises to himself. He blows a kiss to the screen of his cellphone, desperately wishing he could kiss her cheek in person. “Ti amo, Nonnina” (I love you, granny) 

“Ti amo, nipotini del mio cuore” (I love you, grandson of my heart) She tells him back, and a mischievous smirk appears on her face. “You better bring that boy here to try my rondelli before the year is over, you hear?”

“Dio, I hope so, Nonna” He tells her, and they say their goodbyes before hanging up. Tommy already misses her.

He holds his cellphone close to his heart, wondering if he should text Evan, but decides against it. This is too big for a text, too big for a call. He’ll go over in the morning, probably with a bouquet of flowers or whatever other extravagant gift he can come up with, ready to grovel and explain himself and beg for a second chance, even if it’s only to hear a ‘no’. Even if it’s only to let Evan yell at him and get the closure he deserves. Even if it’s only to get his already shattered heart broken into even more pieces. Tommy has to be brave.

After all, nonna and mamma didn’t raise a coward. 

(Evan doesn’t say no. And when Tommy explains, after several rounds of make-up sex, what made him change his mind, he promises to send Nonna a present. The present ends up being him and Tommy, because they go to Indiana for Christmas, and Evan falls in love with Nonna and her rondelli. Just like Tommy knew he would)

--

Tag list (let me know if I missed anyone! also if you want to be removed or only tagged in Little Blobs' Verse):

@bidisasterevankinard @unhingedangstaddict @silversky9 @music-is-the-voice-of-the-soul @asmugfirefighter @rubydaiquiri @racerchix21 @actuallyitsellie

(Although here's a lil spoiler - Nonna Rosa will probably show up in Little Blobs' verse cause I'm not ready to let go of her and she'd whack me in the head with a spoon if I didn't let her meet her great-grandchildren)

[youuuimeanmee]

I saw a comment where it says Ranma is goading Akane here, to distract her from letting go of his hands.

And I have some thoughts about it.

Tbh I don't think he's goading her here. He's just stupidly honest, because you can find some truths in his word.

Akane IS slow –slower than himself, at least. Ranma has seen this in their first spar.

It's a part of what makes her cute, but in a life-or-death situation (with the spin, the height, and the speed they're in) where a split second matters, he's worried she won't be able to react quick enough to make a safe landing.

He also knows how selfless she is, how she hates to be a burden, and how she'd help her friends in any way she can.

He's seen this when she helped him & accepted to be her friends' spare. That's one thing he likes/dislikes about her. He likes how caring she is, but he dislikes how she can be so reckless in the process.

In the battle against Ryoga, Akane was too focused on wanting to help him, she ignored the flying bandana that can slice her at any moment. When Akane accepted her friends' request to be their stand-in, he's worried she accepted it so quick without even asking, what sort of person Kodachi is –who's able to beat up girls to that extent. Again, Ranma knew how straightforward Akane's fighting style is, from their first spar. She's fair and honorable, and he loves that about her, but would she be able to handle Kodachi, whom he's seen won't even hesitate to torture helpless ordinary girls?

Anyway, back to the topic. Ranma can be brutally honest, he came off like a jerk, even though that is not his intention. The most stark example (and could be an (un)intentional parallel) is when he chosed Nabiki to save, instead of Akane.

They fell from the 2nd floor balcony, but it was just a normal fall; no crazy shenanigan, no immediate danger there. In condition like that, Ranma trusts Akane she'd be able to land safely (and she did! kinda). Meanwhile, Nabiki has 0 martial art experience, she doesn't know how to land safely. That's why he chosed to save Nabiki. Too bad he lacks the tack to say it in nicer way. He failed to convey how much he trust Akane's ability, he even insulted her unknowingly, so he came off as a dismissive, uncaring jerk.

Wanting to help a person is one thing, but endangering yourself in the process is another. For Ranma, having a good sentiment is not enough. It's also important to have a holistic understanding of your surrounding to calculate the best action to get optimal result. As much as the truth hurts, that's one of Akane's flaw; when she's panicked, blinded by her desire to help people, she can be near-sighted in the situation she's facing.

An example; Akane was too quick to jump off to save Ranma, forgetting the fact that she can't even swim. That was hella reckless of her. Ranma decided that the best action to finally end the battle quickly was to use his Cat-Fist, by using Shampoo. He was really mean when he say the harsh truth, though. Akane was able to read his mind, only after she snapped out of her emotion and see things objectively.

(tbh Ranma can be really impulsive he'd ignore his surroundings too; at times like that, Akane will be the one who keep him in check, and that's what makes their dynamic so good, but that's another story for later.)

On related topic, let's also talk about how MAPPA changes Ranma and Akane's fall.

In the manga, Ranma was focusing on the wall as their trajectory; that's why his split-second decision was to pull Akane away from the wall and let himself take the hit. He (or Rumiko) was forgetting the fact that with the speed they're in, the hard ice can also hurt Akane when they fall. MAPPA took Ranma's calculating ability a bit further. Not only did he pull Akane away from the wall, he also shielded her with his entire body to protect her from the hard ice rink.

What I'm trying to say, the way Ranma shielded Akane here is not purely out of instinct (of his love for Akane). Because, if it's pure instinct, he would be confused how his body moved that way; but he's not. He's fully aware of what he's doing. He knew the consequences, and he's willing to take it. He even demanded Akane to at least thank his effort, lol.

TLDR; Ranma said he can't leave a slowspoke like her alone to fend for herself, not just because he wants to goad her, but also because it's his honest feelings. Ranma loves Akane, he'd never let her be endangered, but he's also a calculative guy in the battle who can come off as a jerk with his brutally honest opinion. It also doesn't help that he's a teen boy who never learn how to be considerate when choosing his words, due to his upbringing with Genma. (Tbf, in an urgent matter, he's not in a position to be able to choose his words carefully either). He'd only let Akane help him & handle dangerous thing, ONLY after he calculates how much she's objectively able to handle the burden. In a world with whacky power scaling, that's one of the thing Ranma would do to protect Akane.

(just realized, my words kinda portray him as this cold insenstive guy, but isn't that part of why he's so prone to misunderstandings that makes akane wants to hit him? lol. that's also part of his learning process throughout the manga; to be a better person for akane.)

[f1amour]

Hiya!! Can I pretty please request a blurb that’s both angsty and a lil fluffy?

🍮 Lewis Hamilton - “I’m scared of losing you”

❝ i’m scared of losing you ❞ — lewis hamilton

pairing | lewis hamilton x reader

content warnings | angst, comfort, age gap mentioned (not specified)

★ navigation | main masterlist

─────────────────────────

��lewis is ready for this season to end” “lewis wants a fresh start and it’ll be with ferrari” “seems like hamilton just wants a a fresh start with life in general…does that include his girlfriend?”

the tweets did not stop rolling in and you couldn’t help but get lost in them. you couldn’t help but believe the words many were saying. maybe lewis was over this season, done with mercedes, and maybe he was over you too. he noticed the distance you had put up after the brazil gp. there was a two week break and you had spent it at home trying to relax but that was not possible with your constant checking in on twitter to see what people are saying about you.

you weren’t one to be on your phone so much at least when you had free time with lewis you guys tried your best to be in the moment. so when he came home from taking roscoe on a walk only to find you in the same spot you were in before he left almost two hours ago was concerning. it was concerning enough when you didn’t join them on the walk which you usually do, telling lewis you wanted to stay back and start on dinner. dinner was nowhere to be seen as you say on the barstool in the kitchen phone on in your hands with tears in your eyes.

lewis quickly lets roscoe off his leash and walks to you, “baby, what’s going?” his finger lifts your chin up to look him in the eyes but the tears in your eyes just make him frown. “please talk to me. i’m worried about you.” his soft voice fills your ears as you let him wrap his arms around you giving you a hug you didn’t know you needed until now.

your body shakes shading his as you let all your tears and frustrations out until you finally calm down his hands rub your back as you take deep breaths, “i…i’m scared, lewis. i’m scared of losing you,” you tell him what you’d been feeling for weeks now. lewis was not expecting those words to come out of your mouth. in fact, he felt that he was losing you due to this distance you’d been putting up.

his hands cup your face and gives you a smile that makes you believe your thoughts of losing him were just your imagination, “oh honey, now why would you think that? i can’t imagine my life without you. who told you something?” he asks, knowing damn well you’d never just start having these thoughts for no reason.

you look down at the countertop as you hand him your phone which had your twitter feed full of negativity, “lewis looks over this team and ready for a fresh start either ferrari he probably feels the same in his love life as well, lewis wants to focus on his 8th world championship not shopping for wedding rings for his young girlfriend who brings bad luck—,” lewis stops after the last tweet and looks over at you, your hands covering your face trying to avoid his gaze.

“look at me. plenty of people feel the opposite of these tweets. you got sucked into a thread that is all people who don’t actually support me. my fans, my true fans adore you. maybe even more than me. you’re only a few years younger than me and that isn’t an issue with me, love. i love you. you’ve brought the good luck for me. you bring faith every single race week especially this year where it’s been fucking hell most of the time. i can’t imaging my life without you, ever.” his words soothe your mind despite still feeling a bit anxious from those tweets you realize maybe listening to complete strangers rather than the love of your life wasn’t the best idea. however, lewis always validated your feelings and why you may have gotten lost in the dark side of the media where people aren’t always so accepting of your relationship.

“i’m sorry, lew. shouldn’t have listened to them i just…i don’t know how you deal with everything and still keep your head up. i’m exhausted,” you confess, you were never one to be on social media and read comments unless they were from friends or family. seeing how the last few races have been brutal for lewis you wanted to defend your boyfriend but ended up on the wrong side. “baby, you were with me for 2021. you are probably the only reason i didn’t quit and why i still haven’t. you’ve got faith in me, i hold that very dear to my heart. i’m with you till the end.” his last words make you cry some more but happy tears now as he chuckles at your smile, “there’s my girl. now, let’s take a break from the phone and cook some dinner together.”

he helps you off the stool and you grab his hand turning him back, “i love you too.” you pull him into a kiss and all lewis could think about is the engagement ring hiding under roscoe’s bed ready to make an appearance once the season is over.

[pbaz7]

It'll Always Be Her Chapter III

AN: I'm back with the next part as a few people requested that I post today. Let me know what you think and if you have any ideas of how things should or will play out next.

To say the last few days were tense would be an understatement. Paige had always thought she was good at compartmentalizing, keeping her personal life separate from the rest of her world. But Azzi wasn’t kidding when she said she was done with the hidden flirting. If Paige thought the quiet smirks and whispered comments were bad, Azzi’s new approach was downright audacious—and she wasn’t the only one feeling the heat.

The first instance came after their season opener. The team continuing with tradition celebrated their victory at Ted’s, a local favorite known for its lively atmosphere, privacy, and amazing drinks. Tonight drinks were flowing, the music was loud, and the energy from their win had everyone in high spirits. Paige had just started nursing her third drink when a group of fan girls approached her.

"Paige, right?" one of them asked breathlessly, eyes sparkling. "You were amazing out there! We were totally screaming for you."

Paige smiled, her polite, down-to-earth demeanor shining through as she graciously thanked them. The conversation dragged on, though, and she found herself stuck between answering their rapid-fire questions and trying not to let her eyes wander too much. Yet, no matter how hard she tried, her gaze kept drifting toward Azzi, who was leaning against the bar near their teammates with a devilish grin as if she knew something like this would happen tonight. 

Azzi met her eyes and raised her glass in a silent toast, the playful gleam in her eyes promising mischief. Paige could feel her cheeks warming even more.

It wasn’t long before Azzi decided it was time to make her move. She slipped away from her spot at the bar and strode over, moving with a confidence that made heads turn. The fan girls didn't even notice at first, too caught up in their excitement. Azzi, however, made sure to grab their attention.

She leaned in, her voice husky and warm, "Hey, blondie. You look like you need another drink.” 

Azzi’s hand lightly brushed against Paige’s arm, sending a surge of heat up her spine. But it didn’t stop there—no, Azzi was determined to make a statement. She leaned closer, her body subtly pressing into Paige’s as she slid into the space between Paige’s legs, standing far too close.

Paige’s heart skipped a beat as Azzi’s fingers lightly traced the top of her thigh, just enough to make her skin prickle. "Seems like you’re the star of the night," Azzi murmured, her lips only inches away from Paige’s ear. "But I think you might need a break from all the attention."

The fan girls stared, their wide eyes flicking between Paige and Azzi, but Azzi didn’t care. In fact, she reveled in it, loving that only her touch could make Paige’s breath catch in her throat. She placed a possessive hand on Paige’s waist and leaned even closer, her lips brushing against Paige’s earlobe as she whispered, "I could make your night a lot more interesting, you know."

The fan girls finally took the hint and began to shuffle away, clearly flustered. Paige could barely even process what had just happened, her mind racing with confusion and excitement.

As the last of the fan girls disappeared into the crowd, Paige leaned back in her chair, trying to act nonchalant, but the heat in her cheeks betrayed her. "Well, that was bold," she said, the teasing edge in her voice covering up her flustered state. "Not worried about the rumors you’re about to start?"

Azzi smirked, her fingers still lightly grazing Paige’s arm, and she shrugged with an air of total confidence. "Let them talk," she said, her voice playful yet low. "It’s worth it to see you blush like that." She leaned in just slightly, her lips brushing against Paige’s ear as she added, "Maybe next time, you won’t be able to resist."

Paige’s breath hitched at the suggestion, her mind reeling. Azzi pulled back, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "You know I’m just getting started," Azzi teased, enjoying every moment of this. "You better keep up."

Paige laughed, shaking her head, but the truth was, her heart was racing. Azzi’s boldness was a challenge—and she knew that her counterpart always loved a good competition.

… 

The night was in full swing, the music pounding through the room and the mood light with laughter and a few too many drinks. Paige was feeling the buzz, her inhibitions loosening as the drinks went down. But there was something nagging at her—the sight of Azzi laughing and dancing, surrounded by people who were getting just a little too touchy. There was one guy in particular who kept lingering too close to Azzi, touching her arm, laughing just a little too loudly. It made Paige’s chest tighten with something unfamiliar, something she wasn’t ready to label yet.

But instead of stewing in frustration, Paige decided that it was her turn to be a little bold now. Her gaze locked onto Azzi across the room, and with a slight smirk, she made her way over to the crowd surrounding her. When she reached Azzi, she didn’t waste any time.

Azzi was holding court in the center of the group, laughing at something one of the guys had said. As Paige approached, she felt a sudden surge of confidence—alcohol and adrenaline mixing in her veins. She stepped right up to Azzi, cutting into the conversation with a playful grin.

"Well, well, look who’s the life of the party," Paige said, her voice a little louder than usual, enough to draw Azzi's attention.

Azzi turned, surprised at first, but her lips curled into a mischievous smile. "Says the campus superstar herself," she teased, her gaze flicking down to Paige’s hand, where she was holding a drink. Before Paige could react, Azzi took the drink right out of her hand, taking a sip as she looked up at Paige through her eyelashes with a glint of mischief in her eyes.

"Hey!" Paige laughed, a little taken aback, but the playful challenge in Azzi’s expression made her pulse quicken. "You gonna steal all my drinks now?"

Azzi shrugged, savoring the taste of the drink as she kept her eyes locked on Paige. "Maybe I’ll steal more than that," she said, her tone low and teasing, her lips curling around the rim of the glass.

Paige leaned in slightly, a flirtatious edge to her voice. "You’ve already stolen my attention," she said, her hand brushing against Azzi’s arm as she took a step closer. "What’s next? Are you planning on stealing my heart too?"

Azzi’s smile widened, and she placed the drink down on the table beside them, stepping even closer to Paige. "If I wanted to steal your heart, blondie," she whispered, her voice low and smooth, "I’d have to make sure you’re worth stealing."

Paige’s heart skipped a beat at the boldness of Azzi’s words. She hadn’t expected the conversation to take this turn, but the heat between them was undeniable now. "I’m not sure if you can handle me," Paige shot back, her eyes glinting with challenge. "But you can try."

Azzi chuckled softly, the sound sending a shiver through Paige’s spine. "I like a challenge," she replied, her gaze never leaving Paige’s. "And you, Paige... you’re definitely a challenge."

Paige took a step closer, closing the space between them, her breath hitching at the way Azzi was looking at her. "Maybe I like making things a little difficult," she murmured, her lips almost brushing Azzi’s as she leaned in just slightly. "Maybe I want to see if you can handle me too."

Azzi’s eyes darkened, the playful glint now tinged with something else, something heavier, as if the air between them had shifted. She didn’t back away. Instead, she closed the gap a little more, her lips just barely brushing against Paige’s ear. "You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into P," she whispered, the words sending a thrill through Paige.

Paige’s breath caught in her throat, and before she could respond, Azzi pulled back, giving her a sly grin. "But that’s the fun of it, isn’t it?"

Paige, still reeling from the closeness, tried to keep her cool but failed. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. "Maybe," she said, her voice breathy but full of intent, "but you're not the only one who can play this game, Azzi."

Azzi’s eyes lit up with excitement. "We’ll see about that," she said, a knowing smirk tugging at her lips. "But maybe we should just leave the game for later."

Paige nodded, a little breathless from the flirtation, but she wasn’t backing down. "Later," she echoed, her gaze lingering on Azzi as they both stood there in the middle of the dance floor. The tension between them was thick, and neither one was willing to be the first to break it.

…

As the night wore on, the energy in the room started to calm. The music had softened, the crowd thinning as people began winding down. Azzi found herself sitting with Caroline in a quieter corner of the bar, nursing a drink and watching the others slowly slip into their own worlds. Caroline, ever the perceptive one, couldn't help but notice the way Azzi kept glancing toward Paige across the room.

"Alright, I gotta ask," Caroline said, her tone teasing but curious. "What happened with you two? You’ve been practically attached at the hip tonight, eying each other across the bar and yet... here you are. Not exactly at her side, huh?"

Azzi smirked, her gaze following Paige for a moment as the blonde chatted with a group of friends. There was a softness in her eyes, one that Caroline had learned to recognize in Azzi whenever she was looking at Paige. "You’re right," she said, her voice quieter now, the playfulness dimming just a little. "We’ve been close tonight. More than usual, even."

Caroline raised an eyebrow. "So, why aren’t you at home in her bed? Seems like that would be the natural progression from here."

Azzi exhaled slowly, her smile soft but sincere. "It would be, yeah. But as much as I want to go there... it’s not the right time," she explained, her eyes meeting Caroline’s with a mixture of frustration and understanding. "Paige is with Jess. And we both know that... well, we don’t want to do anything until she ends things with her. Jess thinks she’s her girlfriend, no matter how clear things are for us right now and we’re not the type of people to just ignore that."

Caroline nodded thoughtfully, taking a sip of her drink. "Yeah, but come on, Azzi," she pressed, her voice laced with amusement. "You two have been making it pretty obvious that something’s going on. I saw the way she was looking at you earlier. And don’t even get me started on how she’s been touching you all night."

Azzi’s lips curled into a wry smile. "It’s a game, Car. We both know what we’re doing. But as much as we can flirt and play this little cat-and-mouse thing... we’re not going to cross the line. At least not yet." She glanced back over at Paige again, her gaze softening as she watched the blonde laugh with her friends. "We’re both good people. And neither of us wants to hurt Jess. I want Paige. I really do. But we’re not going to let things get messy."

Caroline gave Azzi a long look, clearly understanding. "You’re being patient. I get it. But, come on. You’re not gonna let this whole thing with Jess drag on forever, right? You know you two are something. Don’t let it slip through your fingers just because of some messy situation."

Azzi nodded, her fingers tapping on the edge of her glass thoughtfully. "I know," she said quietly, a certain resolve in her voice. "I want this. I want Paige. But it needs to happen the right way. I don’t want to risk tainting something real with mess and confusion. If we’re going to do this, it has to be with everything in the right place."

Caroline leaned back, nodding approvingly. "Alright. I can respect that. But don’t let the waiting game become a trap, you know?"

Azzi chuckled softly, the playful edge returning to her voice. "For now, this game is enough."

As she finished speaking, Paige suddenly appeared at their table, looking a little tipsy but still as radiant as ever. She caught Azzi’s eye, and a smile tugged at her lips. "Hey," Paige said, her voice slightly more subdued now but still warm. "You ready to head back to my suite?"

Azzi’s heart skipped a beat at the simple words, and she couldn’t suppress the small grin that appeared on her face. She looked up at Paige, her expression soft and affectionate. "Yeah, I’m ready. Let’s go."

The two stood up together, the familiar buzz between them still crackling in the air. As they walked toward the exit, their arms brushed slightly, a silent reminder of the tension they had been building for days. They didn’t need words. They were content, for now, simply being in each other’s company, the promise of something more hanging in the air between them.

They left Ted’s together, side by side, their shared glances speaking volumes, neither one of them rushing anything, but both silently acknowledging that whatever came next, they were in it together.

…

The next time this tension was undeniably high they were in the weight room the next day.

Paige had always considered herself a pretty disciplined person. She was serious about her workouts, always focused, always pushing herself. But lately, in the presence of Azzi, everything seemed to blur into a haze of tension and unspoken words. The weight room, usually a place where she could clear her mind, was becoming a place where she couldn’t stop thinking about the girl across from her. And today was no different.

They had been joking around all morning, laughing and teasing each other in between sets, but there was something in the air today—something that made the playful banter feel a little too heavy, a little too charged. The tension was so thick between them that it almost felt like the air around them crackled.

“Alright,” Paige said, a smirk tugging at her lips as she clapped her hands together, “time to show you how it’s done.”

Azzi raised an eyebrow, her arms crossed, leaning back against the bench as she watched Paige with a confident grin. “You think you’re gonna impress me, huh?”

Paige chuckled and set herself in position, already feeling the adrenaline pumping. “You’d be surprised. You’ve been working with me for a while now. I think you know I’m full of surprises.”

Paige finished her set flawlessly and with a wink, she moved into position to spot Azzi for the bench press. The younger girl settled onto the bench, her focus immediately shifting to the barbell in front of her. But there was a tension in her posture, a sense that something was different today, even if she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

Paige's eyes lingered on Azzi’s form as she settled, her muscles flexing under her shirt as she prepared for the set. There was something about the way Azzi moved that Paige had always admired, but today felt like the perfect time to tell the younger girl this.

As Azzi lowered the bar to her chest, Paige adjusted her grip, hovering just above her. Her tone was light, teasing, but there was a hint of something darker underneath. “You’re doing great, Azzi. Just like that. You know, you’ve got such a beautiful form… it’s hard to concentrate when you’re looking at me like that.”

Azzi’s breath caught for a split second as she looked up at Paige. She hadn’t been expecting that kind of comment, especially not with so many people around. But the glint in Paige’s eyes made it clear that this was more than just a passing remark. The older girl was baiting her.

“Is that so?” Azzi teased, trying to keep her voice steady, but there was an edge to it now, something that hadn’t been there before. “What, you think you can distract me while I’m lifting?”

Paige smirked, her lips curving in a way that made Azzi’s stomach flip. “I think you might like it. You seem to like when I’m close. You’re doing so good though, but I might need to help you a bit more. Want me to talk you through it?”

Azzi’s eyes narrowed playfully, but the challenge in her gaze shifted into something more intense. “You’re not shy, are you?” she asked, her voice dipping into something lower. She was starting to feel the pull too—this was the game they had been playing, but today, it felt like it was about to break.

Paige’s voice was soft but provocative, right in Azzi’s ear. “I don’t need to be shy when you’re so easy to read. It’s not hard to tell you like when I get close.”

The tension between them thickened, the playful atmosphere from earlier now giving way to something far more charged. Paige leaned forward, a hand brushing Azzi’s shoulder as she hovered close, not letting go of her spot. She could feel Azzi’s body react under her touch, her chest rising and falling with the exertion of the set.

“Paige…” Azzi’s voice was barely a whisper now, but there was no mistaking the heat in it.

Paige smiled, the teasing edge never leaving her voice. “You know, Azzi, you’re really good at keeping things under control. But I’m starting to wonder how long you’ll be able to do that when I’m so close.”

The younger girl’s eyes flickered, caught between a flash of amusement and a deeper, darker desire. It was as if a switch had flipped in her mind, and now, she was just as bold as Paige had been. Azzi’s breath hitched, her eyes meeting Paige’s with a mischievous grin. “Well, I guess you’ll just have to find out, won’t you?” she said, a hint of defiance in her voice. She finished the set with an extra burst of energy, and Paige noticed the shift in her—the way her hands gripped the bar with more intensity, how her eyes never left Paige’s.

Paige couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at her lips. “Oh, I’m definitely going to find out. But don’t worry, I’ll make sure to keep an eye on you. Wouldn’t want you to lose control.”

Azzi laughed softly, but the sound was almost a challenge in itself. “You think you can keep me under control, huh?”

Paige leaned in even closer, the heat between them palpable now. Her voice was barely a whisper, low and teasing. “I think I can handle it. I’m starting to realize I might enjoy watching you lose control better though.”

The comment was out before Paige could think better of it. Azzi’s eyes widened for a brief second, caught off guard by the directness of it, but there was a flicker of something darker in her gaze. Paige was playing the game differently now, and Azzi found herself intrigued, maybe even a little rattled.

Azzi took a deep breath, gathering herself before speaking, her tone laced with a teasing edge. “Well, you’ve got me curious now. Let’s see who loses control first.” She pushed the bar back up with a confident grunt, her body moving fluidly as she caught Paige’s gaze again. “But don’t think I’m the only one who can push boundaries.”

The words lingered in the air between them, and for a moment, neither of them moved, as if the world outside the two of them had disappeared entirely. The only thing that mattered was the heat that surged between their gazes, the pulse of their shared breath.

Before either of them could continue down the dangerous path they were on, CD’s voice broke through the haze. “Alright, ladies, let’s move on to the next rotation.”

The interruption was almost a relief. Almost. Paige took a step back, her chest still rising and falling rapidly, trying to steady herself. Azzi, on the other hand, exhaled slowly, a sly smile playing at the corners of her lips as she stood up, brushing off her shirt with a nonchalant air. But there was still that charged look in her eyes—the one that told Paige everything they’d just experienced wasn’t done. Not by a long shot.

“Later, Paige,” Azzi said softly, her voice a teasing murmur as she turned to walk away, leaving Paige behind to wonder just how much further they could take this game before it consumed them both.

[admirationandromantics]

Halloween Party

Yes, this is a Josh x reader bit where Josh is dressed as a pharaoh (please imagine Rami Malek in NATM), because that's the outfit I went with. This also takes place in an au where the lodge drama never happened, so don't worry about that. Reminding everyone that my blog is 18+ and so is this post.

This was made possible by a request I got, so thank you so much and please don't stop sending in requests.

Word count: 3,3 k (unedited!)

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“Sit still!” Ashley scolds as she draws my eyeliner. 

“Sorry!” I apologise, trying my best to hold my breath. Normally, I can do my own, but for tonight’s halloween party I needed a few extra details. I was dressed as no other person than Cleopatra herself. I thought about getting a wig, but Jess found some beautiful golden pearls to put in my hair instead. I loved them, feeling like royalty. I was adorned with gold, my head, hair, neck, arms and hands. A white loose dress was draped around me, leaving the midst open, so it looked like a two-piece. I loved it, even though I personally didn’t look like her, you could not mistake me for anyone else. 

“Aaaand there!” Ashley exclaims, pulling away and giving me time to breathe. She was dressed as Elizabeth Bennet. It may be hard to see if one hasn't read the book or seen any of the films, but she had put her hair up and covered it in white pearls. She was wearing a beautiful dress, though it only went a little below her thighs and not completely down. She was beautiful. I knew she’d planned on this for a long time, so I made some calls to Josh, forcing him to make Chris watch the movie. He didn’t even need to put the idea in his hand. Chris saw himself in the character, loving him and the simplicity of the costume. Yes, this was a set-up, and we made it happen. Maybe the love birds would finally take the hint and get down to business. We can only hope. 

I get up, looking at myself in the mirror. I was afraid that I would not look like myself, but that didn’t happen. I still look like me, as well as the queen. 

We make our way over to the Washington house, and it feels bigger than ever, even when it is filled to the brim with people. Ashley grabs my hand, leading me inside. We press past people, occasionally giving them a small ‘sorry’ or ‘excuse me’. Ashley knows where to go, and she’s quick to get me into the kitchen. We both make eye contact with Sam, who’s sitting on the counter, talking to a dashing-looking Chris. Ashley stops in her tracks, but I force her with me despite her protests. Luckily, she stops trashing as we get closer, probably to avoid a scene. 

“Hey guys!” I greet, finally getting up beside them. 

“Hey-” Chris starts, and his eyes flow to Ash, looking her up and down. They stand there for a while, gawking at each other, both of their faces blushed and bothered. I sit beside Sam, enjoying the show as they start asking questions. I turn to her, trying to figure out her costume. 

She’s wearing a completely black outfit, a gadget belt and beside her is a mask. She must be a spy of some sort. 

“Don’t you look pretty” she compliments, and I smile. 

“You’re quite spyci yourself” I give back, hoping she got the joke. She did, and starts laughing, hitting my arm and leaning down to the drinks. 

“Good one, want anything to drink?” 

“Please” I urge, looking around for anything. She mixes some different things, eventually handing me a red cup. I take a sip, grimaging of the strong content. 

“What is this?”

“Everything”

“You gave me everything?”

“You can’t throw it out, drink it quickly so you can’t taste it” she challenges, and I take it. I put the cup back up to my lips, taking a deep breath to get ready, before chugging it all down. The taste is awful, but the aftertaste is worse, and she quickly hands me a glass of water to get it all down. 

“I’m never taking a drink from you again” I comment. 

“Oh please, of course you’re gonna”

I look at her and she’s trying to hold in her laughter. Ashley and Chris are finally done with their talking, and walk over to us. 

“I was about to say-” Chris starts, and I hold my breath. Please don’t figure out the plan. 

“Are you coupling with Josh tonight?”

I look at him, confused. I hadn’t seen Josh tonight. Yet. 

“No? What, is he also Cleopatra or something?”

“Well no”

“Is he Caesar?” I ask, still confused. 

“Um, no”

“Then I think we’re not matching” 

“If you say so” he ends, putting his cup up to his face. I see a little smile on the edge of his lips, and when I look at Ashley, she puts her hand in front of her mouth, as if hiding something. Sam looks around, and hits my arm. 

“Well, I at least see one Greek over there” she points, and I follow her gaze. I see a guy, wearing something white with a belt and a gold olive-branch crown. He looked like one of those ancient Greek gods. And he looked really good, arms complimenting his costume perfectly. He was standing with Mike and Emily, who was wearing a couples costume. Batman and Batwoman. Fits them both quite well. 

“Hey!” Josh’s voice sounds, and I hear small snickers coming from Chris and Ashley. Sam puts her hand over her mouth, turning away so I can’t see her face. I look over, seeing Josh wearing a gorgeous pharaoh costume. He has a shoulder cape, large golden headwear and jewels. His stomach is exposed, and I can’t stop myself from looking at it, seeing the curves of what seems like vague, hidden muscles. 

He stops in his tracks, looking me up and down and pointing. 

“Copycat” he accuses in a funny tone, and I roll my eyes. 

“Are you Cleopatra?” I ask teasingly. 

“No, but… wait” he starts, his eyes glued to the gold pearls fastened in my loose hair. He turn over to Chris, pointing directly at him. 

“You planned this!” 

My eyes widen, and I look over at the culprit. 

“Hey, you can’t accuse us when you did the same!” Chris shouts back. Sam almost falls over from laughing. 

“You guys planned this?” I ask, wondering how the hell they managed that. 

“But this was my idea” both Josh and I say in unison, and we both look at each other. Everytime I look at him, my eyes wander to his neck, his exposed skin, and I can’t stop staring. Ashley is quick to answer our statement. 

“Remember that documentary I got you to watch some time ago? Well, Chris also showed Josh a movie… One thing led to another…” she trails off, and I manage to break out of my trance. 

“And your reasoning?” I continue. Sam’s still laughing, hanging onto me for dear life and drying away a tear. 

“Maybe we wanted you two to connect a little” Chris says, still proud of their accomplishment. I look over at Josh, who rolls his eyes at him. I get a slight pain in my chest. Hurt? Maybe. I’ve liked Josh for quite some time, and we’re friends, flirting friends, but he never takes the step it needs. I try to put all the signs out, and I know almost everybody knows at this point, but he still doesn’t do anything. I can’t imagine him wanting anything, as he’s never made moves other than his continuous normal flirting. Ashley has told me that he flirts differently with me, as if there’s something behind it, but I’ve never noticed. 

“Well” I start, getting off the counter. “I guess you failed” 

They all stop in their tracks, Josh looking at me surprisingly. 

“I see a Greek god over there who would probably be delighted by my presence, so I’ll bid you farewell” I point at the guy, who’s still making small talk with the others. I start walking, but Josh is quick to pull my arm, leading me a little away from the others. 

“Hey, you know, it’s just fun. Especially when you look like that” he says, whispering close to my face in quite a seductive tone. The previous alcohol is starting to make its way to my head, and I feel my cheeks redden from the closeness. Still, I feel a bit mad. Why would they do this when he’s never made anything clear for me. For him, this is just fun, a fun coincidence and a chance to tease me, but for me, it’s humiliating. As if I’m about to show how desperate I am for him. 

“No it’s not, you’ve made it clear where you stand when it comes to me, and I’ve made my bed with it” I snap back, surprised by my own tone. His emotions switch, a mix of confusion and then, realisation. He gets it, that it’s not fun to joke about my feelings when I feel this way about him. 

“Okay, listen, this is not about that” he starts, but I put up my finger, stopping him. 

“Josh, I’m getting over you, and we can go back to normal after that, but don’t make this any more difficult than it has to be”

“No, no, no, I need you to listen to me” he says, but I get out of his grip, walking over to the guy. 

I touch his shoulder, making him turn around. The others notice, and Mike makes a whistling sound. 

“Well, hello there” I start, looking up at him through my eyelashes. He’s quite tall, and his bushy brown hair matches the gold on his head completely. He looks me up and down, staring a bit before answering. 

“Well, if it isn’t the queen herself” he murmurs in a slightly suggestive tone. 

It doesn’t take long for us to make conversation. He’s in some of Mike’s classes, and usually hang out and study together. I expected him to be kind of playboy-ish, because of his friend group, but seemed genuine and kind. I was actually kind of smitten, and it felt good to be enhanced with someone who seemed to have a genuine interest in me as well. 

The whole night we talked, danced and drank, sharing stories and talking about ourselves. As for now, we’re sitting on the sofa, his arm laid out on the cushion behind me. I turn a little, seeing Sam smiling at me, and Chris and Ashley in deep conversation. Beside them is known pharaoh leaning against the wall, cup to his face, staring intently. My cheeks automatically flush a little, and I turn back to the god beside me. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” he asks, and I’m a little shocked by his suddenness. I smile. 

“We can go to a place which is a little more secluded” I try, giving him a teasing tone. His face lights up, and I feel something flutter in my chest. Butterflies. I take his hand, leading him through the crowd of people and up some stairs. The hallway here is empty, and he doesn’t waste time, pushing me against the wall and kissing me. I return it, but the butterflies don't grow. I feel content at best, a little excited, but not much. The sound of footsteps make both of us turn, his hands moving away from my body. Beside us stands Josh, a concerned look on his face. 

“Something has happened with Ashley, I’ll tell you everything, but you need to come with me” he says in a serious tone. My heart immediately falls, and I get scared. The guy comes forwards, whispering in my ear. 

“I’ll let you two talk, just ask Mike for my number” and he walks down again, giving a slight nod to Josh when passing. It doesn’t seem like Ashley to do something stupid, but I still take both of Josh’s hands in mine, urging him to tell me more. 

“Come on” he says, going further into the hallway, locking up the door which seems to be his room. 

“But, what about Ashley, what happened? Josh, tell me” I urge, the sinking feeling growing larger. He takes my hand, dragging me into the room, closing the door behind us. 

“You happened” he whispers, before slamming me against the door with brute force. Harder and quicker than the other guy. He goes on top of me, pins me with my hands over my head. Capturing my lips on his, he eats me up. It’s passionate, hard. My pulse shoots through the roof, and I can feel his rapid heartbeat on my chest. 

I push him off me, harshly. 

“Josh, what the hell?” I ask, body still hot and aching for his touch. 

“Ashley is okay” he answers, though not really an answer. 

“I think I got it” I snap back, like it wasn’t fucking obvious from what just happened. I continue, not bothering to wait for his explanation. 

“You flirt with me, all the time, I give you all the hints, everything. Even our friends contribute, which, for me, is fucking humiliating because you don’t do shit!” I scold. The building tension in my body finally giving out. My breath is out of order, but I can’t regulate it at this time, emotions coming over me. 

“Then, when I finally decide to move on, to take a step away, you barge in, giving me some fake excuse and take me into your room and…” I don’t know how to continue. I’ve wanted this for so long, wanted him, but not like this. I want something real, not just some jealousy-fuck which will make him feel better about himself, encouraging his complexity. 

“I don’t want this” I blurt out, but he’s still silent, standing away from me. 

“I’ve always wanted something real, a connection and a relationship. I’m not interested in a one-time-fuck with you because of your insecurity issues” I continue, feeling some type of relief wash over me. He looks in my eyes with an expression I can't decipher. Longing? Regret? Anxiety? I take hold of the door handle, making my way out when I feel his hand on my wrist. 

“Will you finally let me talk before you barge out?” he asks, a vulnerable tone to his normally flirty and funny voice. My heart breaks a little for how out of character he makes himself. I turn back to him, sitting down on his bed. He sits down beside me, not bothering to look me in the eyes. 

“I’m sorry” he starts, taking my hand in his yet again, rubbing small circles over my knuckles. 

“I’ve been scared, you know, from all of this. Walking around the bush, never actually doing anything. I thought it would just happen naturally at some point”

“It rarely does-” I try, but he stops me. 

“And seeing you finally pull out it, the situation I mean, just made me realise that we can’t keep going like this, and if I truly want something to happen, I have to take the step” 

I look down, suddenly aware that our knees are touching. 

“I don’t want to be just another fuck for you Josh”

“You could never be that” 

I look up, seeing his eyes are already on me. He made the move before, maybe it’s my time now. I lean towards him, hand cupping his cheek and kiss him. It’s light, careful, and not at all rough. He deepens it, taking my hand from his face and around his neck. He takes hold of my thighs, getting me on top of him. Both of my hands start wandering through his hair, and one his arms goes to the back of my head, pulling me in tighter. I take off his crown, surprised by the weight of it and carefully put it on the nightstand. His hands wander to my exposed waist, fingers seeping under the fabric. 

Though our breathing is heavy, it’s still safe, comforting. I manage to completely relax in his arms, thriving from his touch. He moves his lips, kissing down my jaw and on my neck. I let out involuntary sweet sighs, and can feel him smirk against my skin. He starts biting and sucking, making me moan. There’ll definitely be dark marks on me tomorrow. I feel his bulge growing underneath me, and if as on command, I start grinding on him. He loses his rhythm, interrupting his assault on my neck with whines and groans. I take the opportunity to kiss down his neck, using my fingers to untie the cape, letting it fall off his shoulders. His upper body is stunning, and I stroke my fingers over every part of him, making him whimper. I try to memorise everything, his neck with my lips and his chest and shoulders with my arms. 

“Fuck, at this pace-” he starts, but is interrupted by a moan as I cup his bulge. 

He immediately grabs hand, pulling himself off my face and staring into my eyes. There’s something dark and sinister in them, and I feel myself get wetter from just the look. He turns us around, my back hitting the mattress harshly, losing my breath. He goes over me, kissing my neck and collar while untying my dress, leaving it on the floor. The only things left are my underwear, a matching set of white cotton lace to match the costume. His eyes fill with awe as he drags his hands over, fingers glazing the edge of the cotton. 

“Fucking hell” he whispers, hands going to my back and unclasping my bra. He immediately goes for the kill, leaning over me, pressing, grinding, holding and squeezing. A gasp escapes my lips to begin with, but it is soon followed by sounds I can’t control as his knee rubs my clit. 

“Josh I-” I begin, my warmth building up, getting all flustered and hot. 

“God, you’re beautiful” he whispers, leaving sweet kisses on my neck. He stands up, and the sudden lack of his warmth gets to me. I sit up on the bed, watching as he painfully slowly takes off his garments. It falls to his feet, leaving a sight of his bare naked body. I bite my bottom lip, seeing how huge he is. 

“You’re not wearing underwear” I say, a bit shocked and surprised. 

“Gotta stay true to the character, no?” he teases, leaning over me once again. His lips find mine as his cock rubs gently over my folds, coating itself in my spilled juices. 

“Do you want this?” he whispers against my ear, his hot breath going down my neck. 

“Yes Josh” 

“Tell me how much you want it” “Please, I need you” 

I feel him push himself into me, filling me up and exhaling. 

“I love it when you beg for me” 

His praise goes straight to the core, and I moan out as he starts moving inside me. He leans on his arms, one going down to rub my clit, making me throw my head back in pleasure. He uses the opportunity to attack my neck, leaving bites and marks down to my chest. 

His pace quickens, and the sounds he makes turns me more and more on. I wouldn’t be surprised it was all sloppy and dripping right now. The knot in my stomach tightens, and I give a cry as pleasure washes over me. He keeps pumping, riding me through the orgasm before finally coming himself. He buries himself deep inside with a last thrust, and I feel him twitch and coat me. He falls down beside me, body sweaty and exhausted. I lean over, kissing him on his lips, and he returns it, draping his arm around me. I pull the covers over us, the coldness of the room finally reaching my sweaty skin. 

“You’re breathtaking” I whisper, and he laughs, pulling me closer in his embrace. 

“And you’re gorgeous” he says, drawing small patterns on my stomach with his fingers. I can still hear the loudness of the music and people’s voices from downstairs. 

“Should we go back down?”

“No, stay here” he pleads, holding me harder, scared that I’m gonna go. 

“Okay” I whisper back, leaning fully into him, and slowly falling asleep.

[lovemybluebully]

Feels Like Home

Holy shit! What the fuck is going on???!!! I finished a fic!!!! 😱🥰 So proud of myself right now.

Get your special sock out, nerds. It's gonna get good. 🤣

Logan has become downcast about the prospect of moving into a new apartment. Wade offers a foot massage to help him destress and.....You already know where this is going. 🤣

FYI! So yeah this fic is all foot tickles so if you're one of these people who detests feet then you may not want to read this. It is all SFW fluff kinda tickles though.

I skimmed through it as a quick edit so there may be some small fuck-ups, but I'll recheck it later and try to fix anything. Please enjoy!!

"Deadpool and Wolverine"-verse

Word Count: 5,670 (That's a lot of words! 😳 You'll be here for a minute. lol)

It had been a few months now since Wade had returned triumphant to restore his timeline's integrity. No one really knew what to think when he introduced his newfound roommate to all of his loved ones, but with Wade being the happiest they had seen him in a long time they realized this Wolverine was responsible for that and were quick to accept him.

The adjustment period with Logan getting used to routine and having a place to return to every day went surprisingly well, and he found that he got along great with Althea. They bonded over ganging up to shit-talk Wade whenever he would get overbearingly obnoxious, but Wade simply revelled in it all. Hardly anything seemed to truly bother him these days.

Because with Wolverine at his side Wade now had some clout and was back to doing some mercenary for hire jobs, which more than covered the full rent of his apartment, bringing much relief to Althea to not have to worry about that anymore.

Logan solely had been offered some side work from Shield, but he insisted that he and Wade were a team and the only way they were getting him would be if they accepted Wade as well. They of course agreed to his terms and Wade was beyond grateful that not only was he now officially part of a team, but that Logan had stood up for him.

With their new jobs they were easily able to afford a much larger apartment as Wade excitedly broke the news to Althea that he and Logan would be moving out, though they still planned to pay her rent for her. He thought the woman would be ecstatic to finally have a place all to herself again without having to put up with his constant bullshit, but a wave of sadness seemed to wash over her instead.

The two men picked up on it instantly and after exchanging a glance with each other it didn't even require any further discussion. Blind Al was coming with them. They set upon getting her settled in first and made all the required trips back and forth between the apartments to move in all her possessions and made sure that she had everything she needed.

Logan stayed behind to box up the rest of their things while Wade dropped Althea and Mary Puppins off at the new apartment and the merc was happy to see how excited Althea was about all the extra space and no longer having to share a room with Wade.

Upon returning to help Logan, Wade found that he had already gotten everything that was remaining by the front door and ready to be moved. Really the only thing left in the apartment was their old couch that they were leaving behind, though this is where he currently found Logan laying and staring up at the ceiling in dull silence.

"Time's a wasting, pal. Get that sexy ass moving and let's haul the rest of this crap over to the new place," he called as he started to pick up one of the boxes before noticing that Logan hadn't moved or responded. Setting it back onto the floor he walked over to stand over the other man and look down at him, snapping his fingers in his face.

"Helloooo? Are you alive in there? Blink twice if you're not being mind controlled and held against your will."

Logan didn't blink. He hadn't this whole time. His eyes just seemed to be staring straight through Wade with a sadness hidden in the back of them, but he did give a soft sigh of a response.

"Yeah, I hear ya, bub."

Over time Wade had become better at figuring out when situations needed a more serious approach so he backed off on making another joke.

"What's the matter, Log? Aren't you anxious to get to the new apartment?"

"Sure," he said with no real emotion; his vague answers not revealing anything to Wade and making him determined to get to the bottom of it.

"Okay, what in the actual fuck is going on here? It's all we've been talking about for weeks. Explain the sudden melancholy," Wade allowed him a few moments, but when Logan didn't reply he narrowed his eyes at him, "Talk, or I'll make you talk."

He then gave a warning poke to Logan's ribs as the older man jumped and seemed to come out of his trance while his eyes finally blinked to focus on a concerned Wade. Groaning, he rubbed a hand over his listless face.

"Fuck. I don't know, I guess.......I guess I just realized that I'm gonna miss this place. A lot. Yeah, it's kind of a shit hole, but it's the first spot that I've been able to call home in a really....really long time. A place I actually belonged."

Wade's demeanor softened immediately once the truth had been revealed. Even though Logan had never said it outright Wade knew he had been grateful for the invite to live together. He just didn't realize exactly how much it all had meant to him.

"Hey hey cheer up," Wade placed a hand on his shoulder to give a gentle squeeze, "We're moving onto bigger and better things, my stab-happy friend. Now's not the time to be down when we should be celebrating."

Logan let out another unenthusiastic exhale, sitting himself up.

"I know it. Sorry, it just isn't sitting well with my head. Everything about this apartment holds a place in my memory, and this couch.....I've spent a lot of time on this couch. It ain't the most comfortable, but it gave me a place of my own where I could sleep in peace," he rubbed his hand over the couch arm fondly.

"You're going to have your own bed now, buddy. A real one. Not this piece of shit pull-out," Wade kicked the couch but immediately regretted it when he saw the frown of offense on Logan's face, "Sorry. I'm just saying we don't have to settle for mediocrity anymore. And hey, it's not the end of the world. Our new place is going to be just as good. Better even, and the most important thing is that we're all still together."

"You're right, and half of me is looking forward to it. Just the other half of me doesn't want to let go so easily. It's one of those bittersweet kinda things. I appreciate what this apartment has done for me.....what you've done for me, even though I know I don't make it easy sometimes."

"You're right on that one, buddy. But that's okay, you know I like it when you make it hard," Wade took a try at making a twisted innuendo, feeling hopeful when Logan huffed out a barely noticeable snort through his nostrils and shook his head.

"I don't know where I'm going with all this. Just ignore me. Stupid thoughts in my head. But I would like to just sit here a little longer though, if that's alright with you."

"Of course it is. We got 'til the end of the day on the lease so technically it's still ours until then," Wade replied as Logan gave a short nod and lowered his eyes, making Wade tilt his head in concern for his friend, "You sure there's nothing I can do in the meantime to cheer you up?"

"Ya don't have to waste that kinda effort on me, Wade. But maybe....if ya don't mind that is....you can stay here with me. Kinda eerie bein' in this place without ya and not hearing your obnoxious loud mouth every five seconds," the corner of Logan's mouth ticked up into the smallest of smiles, making Wade's heart flutter in joy.

"I knew deep down under all the insufferable machismo that you love me. I'll be writing a long, self-gratuitous entry about that in my diary later tonight. Only my version is going to be a lot more risqué," Wade added, trying to get another reaction out of him as Logan just rolled his eyes.

"Just keep it to yourself, moron. Ugh, too bad we already moved out all the alcohol. I could really use a drink to clear my head," he lifted a big hand as his fingers massaged the temples on the sides of his forehead.

Wade's face twisted in thought as he looked for something helpful around the empty apartment that he could use to lighten his friend's mood. But they had done a pretty thorough job cleaning up the place so Wade could get the deposit back, making him come up empty.

Still Logan had only wanted for Wade to stay there with him so he figured he might as well make himself comfortable. As he looked towards the end of the couch to find a seat, he quickly took notice that Logan was barefoot, which was not an uncommon sight these days.

Once he'd originally made himself at home in the apartment, Logan had begun ditching his footwear every day as soon as he'd enter the abode. He preferred the feeling of being free of constricting shoes and with his heightened senses he enjoyed the sensory feedback he received by having such close contact to the ground.

Even though it left him vulnerable to Wade's irresistible urges to go after his feet, which the hyperactive man had delightedly found to be devastatingly ticklish, he still felt it was worth the risk to truly feel content in his own skin. He always had to be on his guard though.

Wade now smiled widely as he came up with the perfect solution that was guaranteed to get the both of them into better spirits.

"What are you doing, Wade?" Logan inquired suspiciously as the merc picked up his long legs, sitting down on the couch before lowering them back down to end up with Logan's feet on his lap. He then smiled innocently at the perplexed man.

"You need to unwind a little, Peanut, and Dr. Wade is here to prescribe the remedy.....One soothing, with totally no underlying motives, foot massage coming up!"

Logan's body noticeably stiffened up at the thought of his feet being touched, an uneasy growl rising up in the back of his throat.

"Have you seriously not learned from the hundreds of times I've kicked you? I'm way too ticklish for you to be doing that," he started to pull his feet back, but Wade grabbed onto his ankles.

"Oh, don't be silly. You're not that ticklish," he yanked the feet back with little resistance while Logan quirked an eyebrow.

"Tell that to your nasal septum that I caved in last week."

"And my nose has never looked better! Look sort of like a young Marlon Brando, wouldn't you say?" Wade chuckled as he turned his head to give a side profile while Logan frowned skeptically, "Come on, just let me try. Just take a deep breath and relax and it will be no problem. Trust me, it'll make you feel a lot better."

Logan sighed, running his hands over his face and then back through his hair as he considered the proposal. He knew whenever Wade was dead set on something it was nearly impossible to talk him out of it so most of the time he wouldn't even waste his breath. And hell, maybe this really would help him feel better.

"Just don't say I didn't warn ya. Absolutely no promises that I won't end up kicking your fucking teeth into your skull. Especially if ya tickle me on purpose."

Wade delivered a goofy salute and scooted around into a better angle to deliver attention to the feet on his thighs.

"I hear you loud and clear, and I sign the waiver releasing you from all responsibility to any injuries I may sustain in the process. I'm not going to try to tickle you though so just get that thought out of your head, okay? Gonna start off super slow here."

First Wade wrapped a hand around each foot and just held them there, not moving and attempting to get Logan used to the physical contact. Though as soon as the hands were placed on his feet Logan's muscles immediately tensed again.

He tried to do as Wade instructed and will his body to calm itself as he took some deep inhales and exhales and tried to force the muscles in his legs to loosen up. 

"You doing alright there, buddy?"

"I'm....I don't know yet. Just get on with it. The anticipation is killing me the most here," Logan shook his head, trying to put his mind outside of his body and not focus on the touching too much. For a man with heightened senses though that was easier said than done.

"Hmm eager, are we? I would be too if I were in your place. My fingers are positively magic. Sorry I don't have any of my massage oils here though," Wade's fingers gently moved around and started slowly kneading at the balls of his feet as Logan breathed deeply and clenched his jaw to keep a straight face.

"It's fine. Would probably make it worse, honestly."

"You're so dramatic. But so far so good, right? How about this....?" He held both sides of one foot and firmly pulled the flesh out in opposite directions repeatedly before doing the same to the other foot. 

He hadn't heard a peep from the other man and looked over to see a grin had fought its way onto his face while he had also closed his eyes in an attempt to focus on something else.

"Remember to breath, big guy. Isn't this nice?" He then cradled the top of Logan's right foot with one hand and begin rubbing his thumb in small circles into the arch, prompting the foot to instantly be yanked from his grasp along with a loud snort from the Wolverine.

Logan shook off the shiver that had just shot up his spine and looked up to find Wade smiling at him in amusement before beckoning forward with his hand.

"Don't fuckin' give me that look. Ya know I can't help it," the feral mutant muttered sheepishly and offered back his withdrawn foot.

"Aw c'mon, you can't tell me that doesn't feel good at least a little?" Wade smirked and repeated the same technique he had just been doing as Logan forced himself not to pull away this time and instead just let out some of the giggles that he'd been holding back. It actually did feel good in a maddening sort of way.

"Kkkk-Kinda-ehehehehehehee. Buhut it st-still tihihiiickles," his body was squirming now, his feet twitching under Wade's hands as he fought to get control of himself.

"You know being ticklish is more mind over matter. So tell yourself that you aren't ticklish, and you won't be," the merc tried to offer what he thought was some solid advice, but Logan simply scoffed at it

"Bullshit," Logan had a few more giggles slip past his clenched teeth, "Don't thihink I wouldn't have alreheheheady tried thaahaat?"

"It's all about willpower. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's definitely possible. Not that I'd ever want you to stop being one bit less ticklish," Wade now used the tips of his fingers to drag his blunt nails down the lengths of both soles.

"Gaahaah!" Logan had not been expecting the sharper sensations and almost went through the roof as he jerked his feet back with his knees nearly hitting himself in the chest, "Goddammit! You wanna get kicked?! No tickling!"

"I'm not tickling. I'm simply waking up your nerves to increase the effectiveness of the massage. It's a legit method, look it up," Wade gave a smug little smirk at this loophole he'd found while receiving a skeptical glare in return.

"Trust me, they're awake. You can skip that one, alright?"

"No worries Peanut, I gotcha," Wade nodded, sitting up straight and patting his lap before holding his hands out expectedly, "Now if you would, please resume the position." 

Logan hesitated with his brow piqued while internally questioning the sincerity of the man before him.

"You gonna be nice?"

Wade mocked a face of offense, placing a hand over his heart.

"Moi? How could you even say that? You know I'm always nice. Now let me finish what I started here. It's not gonna be as good if you don't let me complete the process."

Logan took another moment to consider the situation as he carefully weighed his options. He could decline and go back to sulking while Wade just pesters him the whole time about why he should let him complete the massage, or he could just skip all that hassle and allow Wade to continue now.

Wade smirked in victory as Logan reluctantly returned his feet to his lap and sat back in resignation with his arms crossed over his chest.

"That's a good boy. I'll try something a little different this time. Maybe what you need is a firmer touch," Wade now made a fist and used his knuckles to knead into the balls of his feet with a twisting motion as he went along, using his other hand to hold the feet stable. 

He thought it was succeeding in not causing a ticklish sensation, but seconds later Logan's legs tensed up again while he started letting out little growls to conceal the more embarrassing sounds. Wade only laughed softly and shook his head in amusement.

"Serious question, did any of your enemies know you're this ticklish? Not that I can picture you being in a tickle fight with the likes of Sabretooth. Mmm, potential fanfic idea. Gotta remember to jot that one down in my diary."

"Of course they dihihihidn't," a few giggles slipped out as Logan could feel the electricity running up his legs, transforming into his upper body squirming about, "I d-don't advertise it. Hehehe, watch it."

Wade's knuckles were rolling along his arch at this point.

"Well, you certainly dodged a bullet there, compadre. If they all knew how easily you fall apart from being tickled then you'd be the biggest liability ever! Every villain in the MCU would want to get their hands on you to get you spilling all that top-secret information and most well-guarded secrets," he grabbed all the toes on one foot and stretched them back while applying pressure with his thumb underneath the ball of the foot to rub tight circles.

"Th-That's-That's nohot truhue," Logan sputtered in response to the new technique being used, "I wohohohouldn't break. Besides, they prefeheher hehehehe-hurting me and mahahahaking me bleeheeheed."

"Maybe, but they know using pain against you is useless, you little masochist. They need to explore alternative methods. You think I'm bad? Well you haven't seen real tickle torture, my naive honey badger. I'm only capable of getting you in maybe two spots at once. But them? They would tickle you everywhere. All. At. The. Same. Time. Guarantee you'd be a straight goner."

A foot gave him a harsh kick in the ribs.

"Wihihill you shuhuhut up alreheheady?! That ihihisn't hehehelping," Logan snorted and put his hands over his face, giggling behind them as he slumped down on the couch and tried to clear those disturbing images from his head, "You-You almohohost dohohone?!"

Wade chuckled at his success in managing to fluster the complete fuck out of Logan.

"Not quite. This might take a while. We've got a lot of ground to cover here. Hmm, another question. Now I could be wrong, but haven't I seen these puppies in a Tarantino movie?"

"The fuhuhuck are yoohoou tahalkin' about?!" Logan removed his hands from his face to give Wade a disturbed look, his expression making Wade giggle himself.

"Just making idle conversation. Oof. Not only big, but heavy too," he held one foot up under the heel in his palm as he took in the weight before setting it back down to firmly squeeze the heel now, giving Logan a small breather.

"It's the ahaha-adamantium, dumbass. My-heehehehe-whole body is pretty muhuhuch a deadly weapon."

"Is that right? Ah yes, I see it now," Wade smirked as he simultaneously pinched the first and fifth toes and gently tugged on them, watching how his foot immediately cringed and wiggled to escape, "They sure look pretty threatening to me."

"W-Wait! Nohohoo!" Logan snorted and snickered uncontrollably, trying to sink further into the couch cushions with his arms wrapped tightly around his midsection, "Not the dahahahamn tohohohoes!"

His toes flinched away and curled under protectively, but Wade continued pulling them one by one from their hiding spots to stretch them out. It reminded Logan of the times he'd been drunk and the merc decided to be an asshole and tease him by playing 'This Little Piggy' with him.

"No? Oh, but I must. The toes are an important part, and they deserve just as much attention as the rest of the foot, if not more. A lot of tension can be alleviated through them, and you, my fine Wolvie, are very very tense," Wade grinned as he attempted to massage the stem of one stretched out toe, receiving a dirty guffaw as the foot immediately twisted out of his hold.

"GWAHaha! Fuhuck off my toes!"

"Hey, I'm just trying things. But fine, no more toes. I'm absolutely positive that you're really going to love this next one though," he went to his other foot, grasping both sides with his thumbs on the soles and starting at the ball of the foot he squeezed one side at a time back and forth in a see-saw type motion as he worked his way down the foot.

"Sh-Shit! Ahahaheeheehee! No waahaay thahahaaat's a real mahahahaha-massahahahahage tehehechnique!" Logan squeaked out through his laughter that had progressively become impossible to hold back.

"Of course it is. I'm purely a professional and I don't appreciate your ignorant accusations," Wade worked his thumbs more aggressively down the arch, knowing that at this point no matter what he did it was all just relentlessly tickling his friend now.

Logan was practically in a full-blown giggle fit that showed no signs of slowing down, all the while trying his hardest to remain cooperative and allow the unbearable fondling of his ticklish feet.

Wade sighed with a contented smile as he watched his roommate crumble to pieces from what was supposed to be a relaxing massage. At least Logan was undoubtedly no longer thinking about the move from their old apartment, which had been Wade's goal of this whole thing.

His work here was pretty much done, but there was one last thing he needed to do to make it all complete.

"Hehe, alright you win. I guess you really are too ticklish for a foot massage. Spoiler alert, I already knew that. Welp, if you can't beat 'em....," Wade shrugged as he smoothly wrapped up Logan's ankles securely in his arm and started scratching playfully into his soles. 

Logan had been trying so so hard just to bear the feelings of the massage that it took his brain a moment to relay that he was genuinely being tickled now. But once it all finally caught up Logan completely let everything go, throwing his head back in a howl of laughter and pulling with all the strength he had to get free.

"Waahahahahahahaa! Ya fuhuhuhucking dihihihick! Fuhuhuhuhuuuuck!!" Logan squirmed back on the couch while tugging ineffectively at his legs trapped in Wade's vice-like grip. He should have known better than to have thought that this whole massage idea wasn't going to end this way.

Actually, he knew damn well. And yet his dumb ass still let it happen.

"We gave it our best shot, Log. I guess foot massages just aren't happening for a guy with your level of sensitivity. Of course, I'd be more than willing to give it another go sometime," Wade teased while his fingers crawled rapidly back and forth across his delicate arches, making the man yelp and struggle more desperately.

"Nnnnever agahahahahain! Let go! Leggoooohohohoohooo! Heheheeheehee! Nohohot thehehehere! I'll-I'll end yohoohoohoohoou!" Logan snorted uncontrollably between hysterical giggles as he found that he felt no malice towards Wade despite how it may have appeared. He practically surrendered himself to his fate and collapsed against the cushions with his head tilted back in mirth.

Wade glanced behind him over his shoulder to see Logan's face and nearly died from how adorable he looked. His eyes were squinted shut with the crow's feet gathered at the outer corners and his nose wrinkled up to match, his lips pulled back into a gaping smile that revealed his enlarged canine teeth, and his cheeks glowing with a crimson blush that stretched up to his ears, down through his neck and to the bit of chest that Wade could see peeking out of his low cut shirt.

If Wade could keep him looking like this forever then he absolutely would. He was literally addicted to the man's laughter and had been over the moon the day he had discovered how ticklish he was. Even though Logan would hurl a slew of threats at him every time he tickled him, he never once followed through with any of it. Which just made it all the more fun for Wade to mercilessly tease him.

"Awww, does wittle Wolvie have ticklish wittle feet? Have I found the mighty Wolverine's Achilles heel?" He emphasized his metaphor by scratching at a particularly sensitive spot he knew of above Logan's heels. Logan instantly arched up off of the couch and tried using one foot to shield the other as Wade just easily switched between tickling whichever foot was exposed.

"Ahahahahaha! Nooo dohohohon't! Fuhuhuhuhuhuck! Waahaahaade stahahahahap! I cahahan't tahahahaaake ihihihit!"

Wade's favorite part. Where Logan's pride and resolve started to fall apart, and the threats begin transitioning into begging.

"Can you imagine what evil out there would pay to know this information? I could retire as the richest mercenary of all time," Wade smirked as he scribbled at his arches again, making Logan wheeze harshly from the intensity of the sensations.

"You'd behehehetter nohohohohot! If-If-hahahahahaa ya knohohohow whahahahat's goohoohoohoood for you!" He struggled to speak clearly as Wade wasn't letting up.

"I'm just teasing, big boy. I'd never let them have the pleasure. You and your ticklish ass are aaaall mine." 

"Okaay! Okaaahahahay fihihihine! Aahahahahaahahaa! Stohohohop ticklin' meheheheheh! C-Cahahahaaan't breeheeheeeathe!" Logan pleaded as Wade simply tsked and shook his head. If he could still form coherent-ish words then he could still breathe, meaning he wasn't completely done yet.

But Wade knew it was about time to wrap this up as he prepared the grand finale.

"A little courtesy goes a long way, you know? Now say pleeeeease....," Wade grinned deviously as he went in for the kill. His fingers squirmed up under Logan's toes to dig into the highly ticklish crevices that he knew would drive him insane and Logan more than delivered on his reaction.

"PLEASEPLEASENOOOHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAA!! PLEEEHEHEEHEEEHAAHAAHAAHAHAHA!!" Logan laughed wildly out of control with his head thrown back and tears creeping from his eyes, clutching at the couch tightly with the strength to rip the cushions clean in half.

Hearing the Wolverine completely lose his shit always gave Wade that little rush of sadistic glee that made him not ever want to stop, but at this point it was bordering on torture now and that was not Wade's intention of this particular session.

"Oh, so he can be polite. Okay okay, since you said please," Wade released his ankles as promised before an evil idea crossed into his mind.

Before either of them knew what he was doing he snatched up one foot and blew a loud raspberry right into the middle of the arch. Logan's mind went completely blank as he had an out-of-body experience and let out an inhuman screech like Wade had never heard him do before.

Though that moment did not last as Logan's other foot immediately slammed hard into Wade's face with a sickening crack to obliterate the cartilage of his nose as Wade let out a scream and dropped the foot to grab onto his face.

"Aaargghh! My nose! My beautiful nose! Dammit! Awww shit, guess it's back to looking like Ryan Reynolds again."

"You.....You fucking....freak....," Logan breathlessly wheezed as he just stared in amazement at the other man, unable to believe that he had taken it that far, "You tryin'....to get killed?"

Wade grabbed firmly onto his nose and pulled it back into position with another loud crack as he yelped in pain.

"I mean did it really call for that harsh of a reaction though? Couldn't have turned the power down just a little on that adamantium stomper?" Wade gestured to the offending foot as Logan caught his breath back.

"Hey asshole, you were warned. Told ya it was dangerous to tickle my feet. You got what ya fuckin' asked for and I'm not one bit sorry," Logan stated firmly as he swung his feet to the floor to sit more naturally on the couch.

"I'll make sure you're sorry later," Wade muttered under his breath, forgetting that Logan was more than capable of clearly hearing below a whisper.

"The fuck does that mean?"

"Aah! That was supposed to be a secret surprise! Damn you and your ears!" Wade reached over and wiggled a finger into Logan's ear as he grunted in annoyance, but still smiled as he shoved him away

"Fuck offa me, Wilson. I've about had my fill of you for one day."

"Really? That's funny because I don't remember being inside of you. But there's still time to change that," Wade grinned as he put his arm around Logan's shoulders, giving him a suggestive squeeze. Logan's brow arched high as he just stared at Wade's stupidly smirking face.

"Save that for your creepy diary of sick fantasies," Logan shook his head as he ended up smiling again before looking around the empty apartment, "Well....that sure as shit wasn't how I expected my last moments in this place to go." 

"And you're totally welcome. I know you're feeling a lot better now, right?"

Logan growled gently in response, but in no way could deny it. He fucking hated that Wade was right. It seemed to always take the weight off of his mind every time Wade tickled him to tears, and he appreciated it more than Wade would ever know. Because he would rather die before ever admitting that out loud.

"How about a thank you? A kiss on the lips will also suffice," Wade puckered up his lips as he leaned in, but was immediately pushed away.

"How about I cut those lips off if ya don't get them away from me?"

"Well, you know that's never going to happen. Especially since my lips and your tummy have an intimate date scheduled for later," Wade teased before frowning down at the bloodstain on his shirt that had dripped from his nose earlier.

"Always bleeding everywhere. You should probably start wearin' red more," Logan smirked at it being his turn to pick on the other man.

"Yeah duh, that's why my uniform is red. Didn't realize it was going to be an issue around friends though," Wade narrowed his eyes at him as Logan unapologetically shrugged his wide shoulders.

"In my defense, it wasn't a reaction I could control. Ain't the first time that happened either, so ya knew the risks."

"True. But I'll still whine about it next time too," Wade was back to grinning as Logan groaned at the implication of there being a "next time". They managed to sit in silence for a few moments before Logan sighed and started moving.

"Well....guess it's that time," he then leaned over to grab his boots and socks from beside the couch and begin putting them back on.

"Yup, we had better head out. I promised Al I'd pick up something to eat on the way back. I could really go for some sushi myself. You feeling that?

"Sure Wade. Sounds great," Logan nodded as he finished lacing his boots before standing up and walking to the door with Wade trailing behind him. As they reached the front door Logan turned to him and shook his head in disbelief.

"It's strange, you know. I've always been chased out of literally every place I've tried to settle into the past several years. Now I'm leaving this one on my own accord."

"You're not in that universe anymore, big guy. And as long as I have anything to do with it, you'll always have a home. I give you my word. And don't worry, this new place will feel just like home before you know it," Wade smiled and grabbed some of the moving boxes from beside the front door before promptly dropping them as he was pulled into a tight hug.

After getting over the surprise, Wade carefully returned the embrace as Logan sighed heavily into Wade's shoulder while he clung to him.

"Thanks Wade. For everything. I know I don't tell you enough how much I appreciate you, but just know I truly mean it," his eyes were a little watery when he finally pulled back, turning Wade's heart to mush as he smiled and gently patted him on the shoulder.

"The pleasure is all mine, believe me. I hope you know everything in my life is now better because of you, but if you didn't well there it is. So don't think this is all one-sided. Now are you ready to go home, buddy? Let's go break in that new couch we just bought. Feel free to interpret that however you would like."

That broke the serious look on his face as Logan chuckled with a shake of his head and took one last look at their old couch in the middle of the room before turning back to Wade with an utterly contented smile.

"Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go home, Wade."

[letmerideitchris]

𑇍ℋ𝒶𝓊𝓃𝓉ℯ𝒹 𝒽ℴ𝓊𝓈ℯ𑇍

its 9:00PM and y /n gets a call from Chris, "Morning y/n/n, are we still gonna go to that haunted house tonight?"  

Chris had been wanting and begging you to go to a haunted house for Halloween, but you weren't so keen on the idea. You had never liked scary things, and a haunted house was not ideal. “c’mon y/n I really want to go, it’ll be fun I promise” “Chris, no” 

"Chris you know I don’t like scary things, I've told you many times" y/n says sternly   "yeah but you like me don't you" Chris says whilst cheekily laughing, "Chris... don't do this to me" y/n says whilst giggling "I will hold your hand the whole time, you will have nothing to stress about pleaseeeee" he says as he jokingly "ugh fine okay only because I love you"  "alright y/n/n see you then, love you!”                                                                                                                            

                                                                             

y/n has arrived outside the haunted house, she is standing there scared, all by herself, when suddenly, she gets picked up from behind, Chris' arms wrap around y/n stomach whilst picking her up in the air, y/n is screaming for her life. "CHRIS DONT DO THAT OH MY GOD" y/n says frightened whilst Chris is putting her down gently "You look so beautiful tonight" Chris says as his hand starts sliding down her lower back, they start to kiss when suddenly someone in a clown mask jumps out Infront of y/n. y/n screams and jumps into Chris' arms. Chris is laughing as nick takes off the clown mask "ahh don't worry y/n it's just me" Nick says as he goes to give y/n a hug "oh my god, nick seriously? anyways where's matt?" y/n says. "Matt is with Taylor, they are having a movie night at home" "boringgg" Chris yells. "oi leave them alone" y/n says protectively, "its just a joke chill y/n/n, anyways nick we are gonna go into the haunted house now we will catch you later”                                                                                                                                              

They both finally get into the haunted house after y/n’ regret with her choice and chris having to talk her into it again. They’re walking up the stairs and see a door and chris decides to open it "Chris I dont think that is a good id-" before y/n could finish her sentence, a man wearing a full clown costume is at the door with a fake knife. "CHRIS RUN" y/n and Chris both start running to the other door, they go in and lock it "Chris that was terrifying" y/n says shaking, "y/n/n you know I would never let anything bad happen to you" he says whilst grabbing her hips and moving them closer to him. y/n is still shaking because she is scared and cold. Chris takes off his hoodie and gives it to her to put on. y/n puts it on and leans into his chest, he is resting his head on top of hers. "I love you Chris, I really do, even though you forced me to come here. I am never going to let anything get between us." Chris lifts his head off hers and guides her head up by her chin "y/n/n, nothing is ever going to happen, trust me.     

                                                                             𝓉𝒶𝑔𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉：

@clairesrose @sophand4n4

𖦹sorry for the people that are waiting for videographer part 3, we will get it out as soon as possible. I've been studying alot for my college and have been busy. so sorry x

[veilkeeper]

Emmrich's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Fear of Death Commitment

alt title: the editor would like to issue a correction.

so. we need to talk more about the human emmrich argument, because holy shit, it's not about emmrich being scared of dying. well, not really.

it's about emmrich being scared of how he feels.

when i first wrote this meta, i only had access to a single path of the argument, and it's actually the one that most makes it sound like the issue here is emmrich's insecurity about his age and that rook will outlive him. and i'm not going to lie and say that isn't a factor here, because it is, but the other two paths make it so so clear that there's more going on.

"You care about me? That's so sweet!" "That's not what we're discussing."

from the very start of the romance, if you're paying attention, you'll notice that emmrich.... dodges the question of the relationship a lot. he avoids acknowledging it with companions and when he does, he says that he and rook are "exploring the matter" rather than outright saying they're together. he's quick to use pet names, and can be rather sweet in private, but he very carefully avoids using strong words.

and unlike in the lich path, there's no spot before this to say you love him and get those feelings out in the open. even in the start of this scene, he shies away from saying the L word—"you've... grown to mean much to me" he says, carefully choosing his phrasing. "I care for you. Deeply."

and in this argument, rook can finally call him on it.

"I get it. You're scared because you love me."

you could hear a pin drop. it blows this whole thing wide open. emmrich isn't afraid that in some nebulous future he's going to die and leave rook alone. or if he is, that's not what this is about. this is about his own insecurities. this is about his fear that people are judging them for the age gap, like he tells harding. this is about the fact that he's facing down the barrel of the rest of his life, something that now has a definite end, and he's scared of what it means to love someone that whole time.

i think in a way, he got comfortable with their relationship being somewhat undefined. if you never label it, if you never say how you feel, then it can just carry on indefinitely as this thing that no one can name, and it will never be something you can lose. but it's gotten to the point now where he can't ignore how he feels, and he also can't ignore the implications of it.

so instead of being honest and admitting what he's actually scared of, he frames it as an age gap issue. you're so young, and i'm not, and that's not fair to you. it's like he's passing the baton and saying end it now, so i don't need to worry about losing you later when you realize you didn't know what you were getting into.

but rook pushes back. "you're scared because you love me." "i know what i'm getting into." "you're older than me, i get it, why are you making this such a big deal?" "it's fine to say it."

and of the three lines by rook that can end the argument, i think this one summarizes exactly what this argument is really about:

"Maybe one of us just needs to admit that he's scared."

it's not really about emmrich being older. it's about how emmrich feels about being older. how he feels like he's missed his shot at this sort of relationship and now that it's right in front of him, he's terrified. being in love, the sort of in love where you want to hold onto someone for the rest of your life? it's so fucking scary when it's real, and not just some fantasy when you're young.

i'd call it a contrast to the lich path, but it's not. it's cohesion. now we can see it plainly: in either ending, emmrich is terrified of losing rook. he wants them more than anything, and he's scared of what that means.

as a lich, he's scared of them getting hurt or dying, and he doesn't know how to protect them forever. he asks them to stay out of the fight so he can see them safe for just a little longer, stave off the inevitable another day.

as a human, he's scared of them realizing what they're getting into. he's scared of them waking up one morning and realizing they don't want someone older, that they're not prepared for what that means in the long run. he's scared of being a "besotted fool" and being the one who ends up more hurt when this inevitably ends.

it's fucking delicious.

Emmrich's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Fear of Death

spoilers ahead! this is about the conversation with emmrich right after When Plans Align if you're romancing him.

so that argument, huh? there's something so amazing, effervescent, and spectacular about a writer who knows there's something left on the table and they come back to it in a big way.

i talked about this in part one of my sacrifice of souls meta; about how while a decision re: emmrich's mortality had been made (one way or another), nothing had actually been done about his fear of death. and this is truly the perfect time for it to come back—it is the eve of battle against gods, and the likelihood of everyone making it back unscathed is low, to say the least. it absolutely makes sense that emmrich's fear of death is rearing its head now.

what's fascinating, of course, is that depending on which path he chose, the precise fear that he brings up changes. if he's human, he's afraid of his death. if he's a lich, he's afraid of yours.

big thanks to @/maxwellhousebrandcoffeefilter for providing me a clip of the argument when emmrich is still human, so that i can talk about both sides!! let's get into it.

Such Years Between Us

Even under the best circumstances, you will outlive me, Rook. You've... grown to mean much to me and... I care for you, Rook! Deeply. But there are such years between us, I shouldn't heap you with that burden.

this side of the argument is so interesting, because it actually has very little to do with the upcoming battle and is basically entirely about emmrich having to actually reckon with the fact that he's significantly older than rook for the first time. for so long in this romance i think he saw the lichdom as this like, beacon on the horizon. he didn't really think about the reality of getting involved with someone younger than him because he always had the option to become a lich. no getting older, no slowing down, no dying.

and now that it's no longer an option, he's stuck with it. he has to think about it. he loves rook, and as he says, there are realities to the circumstances of their relationship that need to be considered! the only difference is that... rook already did. at the beginning. which is when these types of concerns are usually addressed.

which of course is why this turns into a full argument when emmrich insinuates that it's rook who couldn't possibly understand his concerns about fairness "at their age."

i'm so, so, so happy that rook gets to call him out on this path, because frankly, it is wildly unfair to them, just not for the reason emmrich thinks. he's so concerned that it's unfair because they're going to have to mourn them, but he doesn't consider that maybe rook has already considered that, and bringing it up now is a dick move. they can point-blank ask if they're having this conversation "because you're worried about me, or insecure about you?" and it's so good.

Like a Thread of Diamond Flame

I can see the life course through you, my love. Like a thread of diamond flame. Yet... I will lose you to time, Rook. What if I can't bear that for eternity?

the argument with lich!emmrich actually is partially about the battle ahead.... because he opens with asking rook to stay back and not throw themselves head first into the fight. he's concerned for their safety, and seems to have forgotten that in a fight against gods, no one can afford to hold back.

man, i love it when i'm right. i knew he hadn't properly considered the consequences of lichdom, and i knew he wasn't prepared for rook to die. but seeing it said so plainly? absolutely delicious.

this answers my question of why he'd been "moping" around, as harding said. because he's been overthinking things and imagining the future where rook gets old and dies and he has to live on afterwards. i think the full impact of mourning manfred has hit him and he's realized that the depths of his feelings for rook are such that it will be so much worse when it's them. "I'm afraid I'll mourn you forever." not remember them, not love them. those were a given, guarantees he made before he ever even did his rites. but he's afraid he will mourn them forever, too. and that's... unimaginably heavy. a weight he hadn't considered, but should have.

the way this argument ends varies, including a path where you call him on overthinking and sabotaging his own happiness. but my favourite? when you tell him he can't act like this every time danger looms, and rook says "I'm not going to be afraid of dying just because you are." there's something so powerful in just that one line—it cuts right to the heart of the issue. this is about emmrich and his fears. nothing else.

my only complaint with this scene is there's no opportunity to call emmrich out on the fact that he should have thought about this before becoming a lich. of course, i knew that he hadn't—it was obvious he was rushing things so that he didn't have time to get cold feet, but i wish rook could say so. especially since it's been all my rook could think about since the jump.

[proship-culture-is]

Proship culture (for me) is hiding the fact that you're proship for months after you realise your opinions actually align more with that than antis, because a good chunk of the friends you've made are either antis or don't make their stance clear, and you don't want to lose them.

(Bonus points if you finally stop hiding that you're proship and only lose like four friends, three of which you already were trying to find a way to cut off so it worked in your favour. Turns out everyone else was actually chill... worried for nothing.)

Only sending this in because I know others have had a similar experience (I keep seeing people talk about similar things happening to them).

☆

[allthingsfangirl101]

Unlike Anyone Else – Glen Powell

Masterlist

Glen walked into the coffee shop, hiding his cringe behind a smile when people started noticing him. He walked up to the counter and ordered his coffee from a very excited barista. This has been happening a lot more since his role in Top Gun: Maverick. It got even crazier after Twisters.

As he waited for his coffee, he stood off to the side, using his phone to avoid making eye contact with anyone. When his name was called, he walked up and grabbed his coffee. He turned around but pumped into someone.

"I am so sorry," Glen panicked. "Did I get any on you?"

"Don't worry about it," the young woman shrugged. He looked up at her, instantly noticing how beautiful she was.

"I didn't spill my coffee on you?" He double-checked.

"I'm all good," she chuckled.

"Coffee for Y/N!"

"Excuse me," the woman smiled. Glen was slightly shocked as she walked past him and got her drink. He expected her to walk back over and talk to him, but she sat down at a table in the corner. He couldn't help but watch her pull out her laptop from her bag. She took a drink of her coffee and over the cup, noticed Glen was still watching her.

She sent him a wink before going back to work. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him debating something. She hid her smirk behind her coffee when he made up his mind and walked over to her.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all," she smiled as she sat back. "But can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he shrugged as he sat across from her. 

"You always stare at a woman after almost spilling your coffee down her shirt?"

"Only the special few," Glen winked at her.

"Last time I checked, there weren't twisters in LA," she smirked.

Glen chuckled awkwardly as he ran his fingers through my hair. "You know," he sighed, "for a second there, I thought you didn't recognize me."

"Please," Y/N laughed, "the second you walked in, everyone recognized you. I doubt you can go anywhere without being noticed."

"That is true," he sighed. Y/N studied him.

"You okay, Hollywood?"

"I'm fine," he laughed a little too forcefully.

"It's okay not to be," Y/N shrugged as she took another sip of her coffee. "After a rough day at work, I got to the nearby bar and drink and drink and drink. If it's a really bad day, I go home with a sexy stranger."

"That sounds like a wonderful plan," Glen chuckled. "What do you do for work?"

"I'm a lawyer," she explained, "currently working toward partner."

"That's awesome. You close?"

"Hell yeah," Y/N laughed. "I basically do everything in the office. Not only do I handle my cases, but my coworkers always seem to need my help."

"Damn," Glen smirked. He looked down at her empty coffee cup and had an idea of how to keep her here. "You got time for another coffee or do you need to rush back to work before the firm falls apart?"

"I've got some time," she shrugged. "If you're buying."

"I'll be right back," Glen winked. He stood up and ordered another coffee for her. As he waited at the counter, he looked over his shoulder and watched Y/N answer her phone. He watched as her whole demeanor changed as she spoke to whoever was on the other side of that phone call.

She hung up as he walked over. "Everything okay?" He asked, suddenly worried she might have to leave.

"Everything is fine," she sighed, not sounding convincing. "Just morons at my office that don't know how to staple paper, let alone talk to a client." She looked up, her face slightly reddening when she saw him staring at her. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice lightening up. "Work is just. . . a lot."

"Sounds like you need something stronger than a cappuccino," he tried to tease.

"That's for sure," she mumbled. "Then again, it's not even 10 o'clock. But I will definitely be making a stop at a bar after work."

* * * * *

They spent the morning, talking about their jobs and their lives. The entire time, Glen couldn't believe that this amazing girl didn't care who he was. Not once did she treat him like a famous actor.

Y/N sighed when her phone rang for the third time. "I'm sorry," she sighed before answering her phone. "What now, Caleb?"

Glen sat back and watched as her facial expression changed. "We have gone over this so many times," she sighed. "The case files are not. . . Yes, the client. . . You know something Caleb, I'm getting awfully tired of doing my job and the job of my assistant."

She hung up and her eyes softened when she looked at him. "I should really go. I'm half-expecting my office to be on fire when I get there."

"Well," Glen sighed as the two stood up, "if your office is on fire, call me."

"And what are you going to do about it, Mr. Hollywood?" She smirked.

"Run into the building and save you," he said like it should've been obvious.

"Can't have you doing that," she chuckled. She reached up and patted his face, as she added, "This pretty face is your job. Can't risk anything happening to it."

* * * * *

Glen tried to go about his day, but his mind was constantly on the woman he met at the coffee shop this morning.

"What's with you?" His manager, Andrew, asked when he walked into the hair and makeup trailer and saw Glen staring absentmindedly at his phone.

"Nothing," Glen stuttered. "Just. . . distracted."

"Who?"

"What?"

"Only a woman can make a man. . . distracted," Andrew laughed. "Who is she? Coworker? Neighbor? Friend?"

"Nothing like that," Glen sighed as he put his phone down. "Just a random girl I met at my coffee shop this morning."

"Wow," Andrew chuckled as he sat next to him. "What's her name?"

"Y/N."

"By the look on your face and the way you smiled when you said her name, something tells me you actually talked to her."

"I did," Glen chuckled. "We talked for over an hour, but her work pulled her away."

"What does she do for work?"

"She's a lawyer."

Andrew studied Glen as Glen thought about Y/N. "Did you ask her out?" Andrew asked.

"No," Glen sighed.

"Did you get her number?"

"No," Glen said, clearing his throat.

"Do you know what law firm she works at?"

"No," he said, looking down at his phone. "All I know is her name is Y/N, she is a lawyer, and she likes to go to the bar close to the coffee shop."

"There you go," Andrew shrugged.

"What?"

"You know where she's going to be, right?"

"Well, yeah. I do, but. . .Oh."

After work, Glen headed to the bar. The second he walked in, he searched for Y/N. His heart jumped into his throat when he saw her sitting alone at the bar.

"Fancy meeting you here," Glen chuckled as he sat at the bar next to Y/N.

"Really?" She smirked. "You just happened to show up at the bar I was telling you about this morning?"

"I always come here."

"Mmhmm," she rolled her eyes as she took a drink.

"Can I buy you a round?"

"How about more than just one?"

* * * * *

The next morning, Glen woke up to an empty bed. He ignored the feeling of disappointment when he realized Y/N was gone. He spent the entire morning, slowly getting ready for the day.

As he drove to the set, his thoughts were only on Y/N.

He thought about the coffee shop. He thought about the bar. He thought about the night they spent together. He thought about the feeling he got when he looked down and saw her asleep on his chest.

He hated himself for not getting her number. He hated himself for letting her leave without kissing her goodbye. He hated himself for not asking her out on a proper date.

He vowed to do whatever it takes to find her.

[salty-autistic-writer]

Sunshine at noon wakes him up. Tommy furrows his brows in annoyance and blinks at the too-bright snippet of the outside world he can glimpse from where he’s curled up on his couch. Clear sky. It would be such a nice day for flying. Just like yesterday.

But instead of flying, Tommy has been parked on the same spot on his couch for a few days now, wrapped in a blanket like a sad burrito that someone left at the side of the road. He can imagine just fine how the rest of him looks. Unwashed, uncombed, unshaved. It’s a good thing no one will ever see him like this. He’s invisible. Hidden from the world.

Tommy took a personal leave. No one at work batted an eye. No one complained. It never happened before and after transferring from the 118 to the 217, Tommy made sure he had a certain reputation. He’s reliable. On time. Capable. Unproblematic. Friendly enough that people talk to him and want to go drink a beer with him once in a while. And he sold his role well enough, obviously. No one is worrying too much about him. They think he’s just … sick. Down with a cold or something.

They don’t know the brutal truth: Tommy is a complete mess. And he can’t find the energy to change anything about it.

All he does these days is sleep, stare at the TV without following what’s happening, drag himself up to go to the bathroom once in a while and get himself something to drink or eat - only the barest necessities, go back to slump on the couch again, and eat lots of ice cream. A ton of ice cream, actually. Empty containers surround him.

He’s pathetic. And an idiot. An idiot who manages to destroy everything good in his life and in the lives of the people he gets too close to. He messed things up before. But this is different. Because this time, he was almost about to be happy. And he had to throw that away too.

It’s better this way , Tommy tries to convince himself once again. I can’t be selfish. Evan deserves better. He may be hurt, sad and angry for the moment, but he will get over it. He is amazing and will find an amazing person. Someone who doesn’t carry around suitcases filled with past baggage. Someone who isn’t damaged. Someone who doesn’t stand on a wobbly heap of insecurities, ready to fall down the rabbit hole of panic and overthinking any moment. He will find an amazing person and he will be happy. Yes. He will be happy. 

No. Tommy can’t be selfish. But that’s it. He already was, right? He indulged himself. He allowed himself to enjoy what he had with Evan. Enjoyed it too much. Because it felt so good. It felt so right. Evan was always sunshine and nice things, hope and gentleness, honesty and acceptance, wrapped into touches that burned without being painful. 

Tommy took all that and then forgot that it couldn’t last forever. Because good things always come to an end. And the moment Evan spoke about moving in. About futures. It hit him. Evan doesn’t know enough. And Tommy loves Evan too much to let him walk into something he is going to regret. He learned enough lessons to know how this one would end. So he ran.

He ran once again. And now Tommy doesn’t know where to go.

God. He can’t even stay in Los Angeles, right? Something tugs painfully at Tommy’s heart when he realises that. He built a life here in LA. A relatively stable one compared to whatever he had before that. He liked to think it was a good life. With a stable job. With colleagues who like him enough to talk to him after work. With a house and a garage and hobbies. With neighbours who smile at him. A quiet life. A normal life.

A lonely life. 

Loneliness protects me, Tommy thinks grimly. He should leave. It would be better for everyone.

It was nice to reconnect with Hen and Howie. It was nice to meet Eddie. They have a lot in common. It’s been a while since he could talk about his time in the military with someone who knew exactly what he was feeling. It’s been nice to see Bobby and eat his lasagna again. But in the end, all of them are Evan’s family. So it’s only reasonable that they won’t want to spend time with Tommy anymore. He lost them with Evan.

So what is holding him here?

So you really want to run again? That doubtful little voice nagging his mind wonders.

I need to. It’s better this way. For everyone including myself. 

Is it? Or is this just you following a pattern because you’re too scared to wait and see if things might turn out differently this time? Because they could right? You can’t see the future. 

And the next thought going through his mind might be the sharpest. It cuts into his heart and leaves it bleeding. It hurts. But it’s so clear and real.

What do you have to lose anyway? 

Tommy sits up and buries his face in his hands. Yes. What does he have to lose, now that he destroyed everything? He has nothing and no one. Because he’s a coward. Always has been. Always will be …

The doorbell rings. Tommy flinches violently and stares towards the door, wide-eyed, his heart pounding.

Immediately, Tommy is flooded by anxiety. He’s not expecting anyone. Oh God. He really hopes it’s not Evan. He’s not ready for that talk. Or maybe it’s just someone from the 118 who decided to tell him in person what an asshole and coward he is. Well. I deserve that, Tommy guesses tiredly.

The doorbell rings again.

Tommy sighs. He drags his body up, letting the blanket slide on the couch and shuffles to the door, preparing himself for being yelled at. Or for being punched immediately. When he opens, however, he’s in for a different surprise.

“Lucy?!”

“Did you really think I wouldn’t check on you?” Lucy asks, raising a brow. She eyes him up and down, crossing her arms. “You look horrible.”

“I know,” Tommy mutters, scratching at the back of his head, feeling how greasy his growing hair is.

Lucy doesn’t wait for an invitation. She pushes past him, walks right into the living room, puts her hands on her hips, while she takes a look around and shakes her head. She reaches out to pick up one of the emptied ice cream containers that are littering the couch, the table, the floor. She turns to look at him, raising the container and a brow. “Jesus, Tommy.”

“I know,” Tommy sighs again, fidgeting with the hem of the old hoodie he’s wearing. He can't look her in the eye. Can't even ask her why she's here. He didn't think anyone would actually make the effort to drive by his house and ring the doorbell. And now he doesn't know how to deal with it.

“Have you eaten? I mean, anything else than ice cream? Come on. Let’s order Chinese,” Lucy says, already pulling out her phone.

A ghost of an almost smile appears on Tommy’s face. That’s why he likes Lucy. She’s direct and stern and somehow exactly what he needs right now. He doesn’t know how he deserves her being here, but it helps. It really does.

Their food arrives a little while later and they sit on the couch to eat. Tommy’s stomach growls when he smells the food and he feels a little dizzy. Wow. He didn’t even notice he was hungry before Lucy decided to pay him a visit.

“You broke up with Buck,” Lucy says, digging into her noodles. It’s not a question. It’s a statement. Tommy wonders if it's that obvious or if someone told her. And if so, who? “And now you are going to tell me why.”

Tommy sighs. “I thought it’s the right thing to do,” he says, after he chewed and swallowed his chicken. “The best thing for … for him.”

“So you freaked out,” Lucy says dryly. “It was a flight response. What did he do? Oh God,” she looks up from her food, wide-eyed. “Did the idiot propose already?!”

Tommy blinks. “Uh. No. He … He said he wants me to move in with him.”

Lucy deflates. She shakes her head. “Wow. Okay. Wait. Why would you move in with him? He has a loft. You have a house.” She gestures around, raising a brow. “I mean. If anything, he should be moving in with you. Is his bed even big enough for the two of you?”

“Not really,” Tommy mutters. Not if they wanted to use it for specific things. “But it doesn’t matter, Lucy. I broke up with him. Because he deserves better. He thinks he’s in love now. He thinks he wants a future with me now. But … There are things he doesn’t know about me. And I don’t want him to regret it. I don’t want to wake up in a few weeks, after living the dream, only to realise it’s going to turn into a nightmare where we both pretend that everything is alright but it isn’t …”

“Self-fulfilling-prophecy,” Lucy says, staring at him incredulously. “That’s what you’re doing right now, Tommy. You act like you know the future. Like you know how things are going to turn out. But you don’t! There are things he doesn’t know about you? So what? Tell him!”

“It’s not that easy,” Tommy mutters, his heart growing heavy. “I don’t want him to look at me differently. I love him too much for that.”

“You love him,” Lucy says, matter of factly, her brows wandering up.

Tommy swallows. He just said that, right? “I guess."

“So,” Lucy raises a finger. “Let me see if I got that right. You broke up with Buck because … you love him too much?”

Tommy doesn’t know if he’s supposed to cry or laugh. He shrugs helplessly. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to do, Lucy. I just … I got scared. This whole thing was too good to be true in the first place. And now he acts like he wants a future with me but how can he know that? How can I know it? Also … I don’t want him to miss out on anything. He just discovered he’s bisexual. And I was his first relationship with a guy.” Lucy scoffs. “Oh, come on, Tommy. Buck is an adult. He can make his own choices. And from what you are telling me, he already did. No. This is about you , freaking out because you are scared this will end badly.”

“Well, it’s not like things worked out in the past,” Tommy says bitterly. “Even if I was trying.”

Lucy makes a sympathetic noise. She reaches out, her hand resting on Tommy’s shoulder. A comforting presence. “Okay, but look at yourself now. You’re the definition of miserable. Those last few months? You’ve been glowing. Always smiling and giggling like a teenager in love with your phone in your hand. It was quite disgusting, to be honest. But I loved it for you. Loved it for Buckley, too, a little. You’re sabotaging your own happiness because your trauma tries to tell you that whatever happened in the past will happen again. But that’s the thing. You don’t know that. If you run, you take away your chance to find out things are going to be okay. He makes you happy, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Tommy says hoarsely, feeling his throat tightening and tears gathering in his eyes. So happy.

“Then stop eating ice cream and start talking,” Lucy tells him.

Tommy swallows. She makes it sound so easy. But … “He won’t want me back now. Maybe he won’t even want to talk to me. I hurt him.”

“Just tell him the truth. Tell him what you told me. And then tell him the rest. If you don’t try, you will never know and I’m quite sure not knowing will hurt even more. Who knows. Maybe he’s already waiting. Or thinking about texting you.”

“Do you really think that's possible?” Tommy asks, surprised. He imagined a lot of scenarios. Most of them involve Evan cursing Tommy's name.

Lucy smiles at him. “I can imagine it. Come on, Tommy. I can see it in your sad wet eyes. You really do love this idiot. Don’t throw this away just like that. Don’t run away. At least try to fight for it. Because if he feels the same, he’s going to do that too.”

“I’m scared,” Tommy admits, glancing at his phone. Scared of the reaction hurting even more than this does.

Lucy rubs his back. “I know. But you can’t let fear control your life. Fear is a liar. And if you listen to it, it’s always going to take you back to the past.”

She gets up, collecting the empty boxes and putting them into a plastic bag. “Text him. Or call him. Don’t wait too long.” She wrinkles her nose. “And please stop playing hibernating hedgehog soon. I need you back in the cockpit.”

Tommy manages a smile. “I will try. Thank you, Lucy.”

“Of course,” she tells him, her eyes softening.

After Lucy leaves, Tommy stares at this phone. He stares at it for a long time. Then, he takes it in his hand and opens his chat with Evan. His heart clenches when he reads their last conversation. Feels like that happened an eternity ago. Before any of them even thought about a breakup. Because … they really were happy, right?

Tommy stares at the screen and he starts to think this is the scariest thing he’s ever been thinking about doing. Because what if Evan simply ignores or blocks him? Or … what if Evan just tells him to go to hell? Fear comes in waves, dark and cold. But then Tommy remembers that he really does not have much to lose. And he has at least one friend who will be there to collect the pieces when he breaks apart completely. He should get a grip and take a leap of faith. He messed this up. Maybe he can fix it. Maybe.

Tommy takes a deep breath and starts to type.

(AO3 link)

[eliotlime]

November update post thing

Drawing of me watching short-form video content without sound vs one where I am lol

If you use short-form video platforms of any kind and would like to help me with my survey you can do so here! Though I'll probably be closing it sometime next week (2nd November 2024 ish) to collate the data for submission.

I've got a metric tonne of deadlines due next week but you know what it's blog update time!!

This is also not going to be scheduled to post because I usually write these on the 29th but I forgot! So it's getting posted now!!

💀 School..

Yeap as I've said I'm in school so that's still in progress, I have completely no idea what I'm doing everyday and as it turns out no time to worry about it either I got deadlines baby!!!

I mean in theory I understand but it's all a big question mark to me, like i need to be reassured like a nervous dog that I'm doing the right thing and what not

And because of that I'm real sorry about pushing the Abacelsus zine to the back burner, I actually got quite a lot of it done before I had to lock in for school of course.

And though I said I had a lot of sketches I didn't post well they were shittier than I liked them to be so I wanted to make it look nicer. Oh well dems the breaks.

Another screenie of my school work, they didn't really go into depth about how to specifically design stuff so it's basically me frankenstien-ing stuff I've seen existing and just trying my best lol

I mean.. overall it's funnnn... i guess... I do like projects but everyone in my class are adults with established jobs or goals. Even those who are around my age seem to know what they're aiming for too, feels like I'm an unemployed little sucker fumbling in the dark. Can be humiliating I won't lie, why is learning something new so embarrassing?

Aside from that I'm seeing people be so social online while studying too and it's almost mesmerizing, it's definitely survivor bias but those that can balance it are fascinating to me.

📖Anthology Update

Agh enough of that debbie downer bullshit, I'll tell you what I've also got due next week! That's right!! The drafts for my anthology!

Screenie of one of the panels I posted onto my ko-fi discord!

I'm not even half way done and it's due on the 6th of December. I'm beyond FUCKED. Anyway I can get it done by then but the school shit is sucking the life out of me through my ears.

☕ Ko-Fi Page

Deadlines aside I've also randomly launched my Ko-fi Membership page! I haven't quite had the time to properly promote it but it's there and I've been updating it every so often

I've got stuff up there already and comics of things that aren't polished (or sfw) enough for me to post. Especially if you're interested in my characters and would like to support me, here's a good hub to check all of it out!

The Ko-fi Discord updates the most frequently, basically every time I draw anything (Which is quite often!). The actual ko-fi gallery is only being updated every week to prevent spam.

Shout out to my one ko-fi member, wormfriend. Right now it's quite funny to have just the one but I definitely would like more so plz join!!! I promise I draw a lot!!!

🌯 Wrapping it up...

That's all I've got for you this month, real grind-y and uneventful but hey some moths are like that. I talked about opening my commissions again in December and I intend to keep that promise but as of yet the first week is not looking too hot haha. I'll consider it on the 7th but whuff it's real packed right now!

I don't have really anything else to say or add that isn't either

a) incredibly negative and self deprecating

or

b) cussing the shit out of disrespectful transphobic anonymous asks I've been getting

so I'm just going to end this hastily written blog update here and get back to work!

I leave you with this cool down drawing of a honda civic and my attempts at a motorcycle that can also hover in the air.

As always thank you so much for reading and I've been so busy I haven't even had time to work on my annual redraw that's been sitting in my folders gah! If you’d like to support me, here’s my ko-fi page again and my itchi.io & gumroad as well.

If you have any questions or just generally want to talk to me, my DMs and askbox is always open! Any professional enquires can be sent towards my email as well: eliotlime@gmail.com

XOXO, Stay weird!

-Eliot :)

[pumpkinghostbunnyy]

So I've recently been getting into oddities, I got two little butterfly wings and a bone in little jars to start my collection and one of my teeth, weird I know, but i had depression growing up , didn't care for my teeth and dental care is fucking expensive so when one of my teeth inevitably fell out (and I had finished crying) I saved It and cleaned it and it now lives on my shelf. But this made me think about the cod characters and their little goth gf

Price🥃- price is honestly such a daddy let's be honest, I genuinely think he'd not be too fazed due to his line of work, its not like he's not seen bones before, but he'd maybe be a teeny bit concerned about his little ones fascination with death, 'yes dove the little butterfly is beautiful but also why do you want to taxidermy the cat when it eventually dies?', he's so used to death but his little angel is so pure in his eyes so he worries from time to time but ultimately it makes her happy so he supposes it's not a bad thing. I do think he'd let her have her own space in the house for them , probably build her custom shelves for them himself. his angel doesn't gotta worry about anything just gotta sit on his lap whilst he sips his whiskey listening to her ramblings all about the different ones she wants to collect.

Gaz 🪽- Gaz is honestly an angel (a sexy, charming, beautiful little angel) he'd probably have known his love a long time, maybe gone to school with her or something along those lines so I don't think he'd be grossed out by these things, I think he'd just except his lover is a little weird but he knew that from the beginning, that's how they became friends never mind lovers. I do think he'd go with his girl to all the little gothic shops and fairs, 'yeah love that one's good, can we get a frog? I think this one looks cool'. He wouldn't be obsessed with it like his love but he wouldn't mind it, I think he'd just be neutral about it, I do also think he'd get her custom ones for valentine's day, like how people have those mice in different situations and outfits, he'd get her one holding her favourite dried flowers and an engraved wooden base with their anniversary on.

Soap 🧼- I love this big baby but he'd be so fucking whiny about it, 'hen wha the fuck is tha?..I can see it's bones!'. He'd definitely tell the team and absolutely would make jokes about it but he's mad for his little bonnie so this ain't gonna make him quit his love for her , fuck no. I think he'd go to antique shops with his lass but absolutely would complain about how he feels watched from all the beady little eyes on him, and please if she names any of her little creatures he'd take the mick 'aye! Stop naming m like their our wee kids!'.

Alejandro 🫀- honestly I think Alejandro wouldn't mind, his amor has his heart, you want the house to look like Halloween all year round so be it . his abuela taught him to respect the dead so I think he'd talk in his head to the little creatures, he has to move one to get something of the shelf, 'lo siento amiguito' (sorry little friend) , god forbid he breaks a jar ones in, not only would he be so apologetic to his little luna (moon) but to the little creature he disturbed, he'd fix it himself within an hour and get them a better jar, i think he'd even leave his favourite creatures offerings during the day of the dead.

Farah🌛- I think Farah would be Hiding her relationship with her sol ( sun) , her girl is so soft and bubbly but has this dark little look to her, but because of her culture and high risk job Farah keeps the relationship private to protect her girl. But I think there'd be signs, she'd buy her Bella (beautiful) matching taxidermy jewelry, I think some kind of bones or teeth, she loves her girl so much, she wants to show she cares by wearing her weird little interest.

Now onto the guys that made my little vampire heart go wild with this idea

Konig 🌩️- firm believer that konig sees her one day and is just obsessed immediately, I think he'd live more rural in the mountains and would bring little trinkets he finds, almost worshiping his spatz (sparrow) like how people worship different god's by leaving offerings. I think he'd hunt his food often so he'd give schatz the bones and fur, he'd clean them too and would use the fur to make her things to add to her collection, anything to show he can provide for her. I think she'd be the small towns little witch, at least that's what people say, I think she's just a regular girl who loves cottages and creepy stuff but small villages talk, and konig is hooked immediately.

Keegan 🦷- Keegan isn't bothered, he'll he'd make it you, go into the woods and hunt for bones and dead bugs to preserve for you. I think he'd go to all the fairs and shops and I think he'd even get some himself for the animals he likes, not many but I definitely think he'd have a crow or something. my first thought with Keegan is on their anniversary he'd order his darling blood jewelry made from his own blood, I don't think he'd even think to much into it, the price doesn't matter and blood doesn't bother him, anything for his woman.

Ghost 💀- we all know that ghost is closed off and doesn't love easily so you can imagine when he does love he falls hard, in walks in this little thing and he's fucking hooked. He doesn't care how morally wrong it is, she's his, the second he sees her, just a little thing, he's gotta protect her, provide for her. Some how he worms his way into her life (definitely a meer coincidence and I'm sure no stalking involved at all) and he's not going no where. I think he'd buy her anything she wanted, he doesn't care about the price and I think he'd have some... unethical ways to get her certain oddities let's say, he kills an enemy and notices he has a prosthetic eye or something , well his little bunny would love that for her shelf, he can clean bones no problem, and if she asks where he got a human skull because they're so expensive and rare well 'got em from an antique shop' thats all she needs to know.

[solar4seekstron]

Character Introduction - Reader in the Bayverse. (If anyone has a good name for reader please let me know)

Hello! Hello! Your dear Solar is here! Guess what? I’m rewriting the Bayverse movies (Kinda)!!! And add ing in reader because I mean who hasn’t imagined theirself as a Cybertronian fighting alongside OP and Bee, right?

In the 5 Movies there is………………………………a lot. Going on-

As some of you have guess these chapter will be pretty long and although it’s a rewrite. Not too much will be changed and like with my other stories like Before and So Forth and Transformers One Awakening series. Yes, the reader will be Gender Nuatral so They/Them will be used. As always you guys can just imagine it’s saying he or she if you are that gender. While yes it’s a self instert in the story it’s also a story of an added character of my creation. I’ve been wanting to write this since I realized I enjoyed writing when I was barely an adult.

Just wanted to wait till I had more of an audience. Even if all of my followers don’t always like my posts >:(!

Jk. Jk. I know SOME people like my works. I’ve always wanted to create a character for the series just because I love that crap. If reader inserts and x reader stuff isn’t your cup of tea. DNI then. This is for people who do to enjoy and just have fun talking to other fans. I only wish for people to enjoy my work while self instering time to time.

Overall this post is to give a deeper look of what I have planned for you all and the series of the bay films. This introduction under the cut will tell you what you need to know about the character and what to expect. Hopefully as I write the series I can continue to make thier personality shine.

This is a true passsion project of mine. So the first chapter wont be released until Christmas. And then will be released every Sunday.

Seeing that there are some sexual scenes at times I don’t see why the robots can’t? (In my own opinion I feel that it makes sense that because the robots are sentient and now we have a nonbinary robot! Along with when you look at wheelie and the twins from the second film. So I’ll try my best to add in the humor when it feels right for the situation.

In the movies it’s always Optimus Prime, Megatron, and Bumblebee but now here it’ll be with the reader add in all the movies.

Since the story is x reader in a way the characters are semi soft yandere. But not all the time.That’ll be explained and explored later. I did change up the lore a bit so please bear with me please I did as much research as I can but had to keep remembering that I’m also doing this to have fun. So you know if there are things in here that you weren’t expecting or you didn’t see what you wanted in part of their lore. Sorry my writing isn't always for everyone.

Notes: Wheeljack in the third film will be rewritten. I’m sure some people like his design and character. But I hate it- My boy deserves more respect and love then this!!! So like I’ll do in the Knightvers with ROTB I’m going to rewrite him like how he is in Prime. He’ll still die because I know I can make that an interesting plot point like with every other character.

Not just Optimus Prime ok. As for in between movies I’ll do the best research I can since I know there are comics for them. And if anyone has a link to them online or overall plot points for the movies and in the comics. Let me know!

Reader will have their large part in the story like how I’ll write for the others. I hope you guys enjoy this series and yeah knowing that the movies have a lot going on it might take me a little over half a year to finish.

And not to worry I won't grow bored of this series. I have been thinking about and planning on working on this series along with the knightverse movies for a long while and I don’t wish to disappoint!!

Anyway, here’s the reader and their character! I hope you guys like them!!!!!

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Character.

Basics:

Besides Optimus, Ratchet and Senitnel and a few other Decepticons. They can speak Cybertronian. In a way a former Knight like Optimus. Worried under Sentinel during the war before Optimus became leader.

Uses They/Them Pronouns.

B - Info:

Lives throughout the movies and is always there. Being the Ride or Die of Optimus like Bumblebee. The fighter in every battle. There to help guide but also learn. One to believe in signs and path. Goes through their own growth along side the many around them. Struggles for their fallen friends.

Is one of the strongest characters in series.

Team Prime:

Scout/Warrior/Soldier (Former Knight). Voice of Reason. Cool older sibling.

Age:

Around the same age as Optimus Prime and Sentinel. The other Knights being a bit older. (I imagine they’re all around the same age. But in the story the reader is a little older then OPtimus Prime.)

Note: After some research for the story, the google search told me Hound is 60 millions years old??? And Optimus is still referred to be 9 million years old. I know they’re all supper old but for Hound to be 60 million is a bit strange to me. So I’m changing the age for them a bit.

Hound will be 29 million years old and while OP and Y/N are around 15 million years old. And the knights being only 19 million years older.

And so in the equivalent of human years OP and Y/N would be in their early 40’s.

The Knight in their mid 40’s. And Hound in his early 70’s.

Appearance:

Y/N is a pretty tall bot. Being 4 feet smaller then Optimus in robot form. So the 2nd tallest compared to the others. Their vehicle mode being a 2003 Porsche Cayenne.

(Don’t ask I think its a nice care. But do feel free to educate me in the comments I don’t know cars that well.

Y/Ns colors are black with tinted red on their paint. Y/Ns robot mode being almost like a knights but modern (Much like Sentinel Primes armor in tf5) but to match more with their own alt mode. Only looking slimmer then Sentinel because of how small they are.

Their head armor looking a lot like Rodimus helmet in Transformers Animated (But if it was styled in the berverse. Think like Nightshades armor peice and how it covers a bit of their optics.)

Their optics yellow and faceplate grey like the others. Having optics that are mostly dim but brighten when feeling certain emotions. Their optics piercing in yellow that helps with their thousand yard stare. Though they aren’t always glaring at someone when they turn their attention to someone. That’s just something that happens when really they’re just- staring.

Having a few Cybertronian writings on their helm. Both back, top, and side. A it on their shoulders and arms and different parts of their body.

Always seen with a smile on their dermas even in the toughest situations under their mask and even when they take their mouth guard off. Their visors being the color blue and their mouth guard being a grey is red.

Weapons:

A thing most noticed about them is they have two swords on both side of their hips in sword handles. Their swords being long like Sentinels but not as wide. The handles in more of a dark red with a tint of black on them. But the handles being completely black. Something others might not notice too is their somewhat small gun held at their lower back. With a Y initial on the side of it. Their arms also turning into blasters.

Though they rarely use them.

Appearence Traits:

At times throughout the movies can be seen always keeping their visors on but will take their mouth guard off even when they don’t speak. They only take both their visors and mouth guard for only important moments and if they are having strong emotions. That’s when their optics really brighten.

Usually when not fighting. They can be seen either standing with one arm down and the other will be bent. Always having at least one cervo on a sword handle being on guard. Or can be seen cleaning their swords and loading their gun after each battle. It being big or small. Or training with the others, or talking to them, or just standing there listening and waiting for orders.

They rarely cross their arms.

Fighting:

They work mostly in hand in hand combat. Only using their swords to help out in fights as more then just a weapon to slash someone with. At times using different parts of their sword when they don’t wish to kill someone.

If they are really mad. Their fighting combat becomes almost like a wrestler, which is something not seen much in battle. It’s just them showing why they don’t punch as much as they do in battle.

Note: For an example of how they fight with their swords watch “The Elder Scrolls Online: High Isle Cinematic” The way the knight fights against the three characters is basically how they fight.

Traits (Sort of):

While they usually have their mouth guard down if they’re not in battle. They will at times also move their visors off as well. Mostly if its during certain situations like they’re really surprised or confused. (Plan on doing that a few times throughout.) At times they will speak but only when they’re needed to.

At times they can be seen cleaning their swords. Either it be because they have to or they’re worried and got something on their mind.

If they are really mad or just wishes to speak to the other privately. They will speak in Cybertronian. So while the others choose to speak in. They will speak in their more native language when it’s something important.

I was thinking about doing a relationship with the others part but I don’t think people will care that much and just wait to read the first chapter since that’ll show to establish their relationship when it comes to the first movie. Same thing for their backstory.

But I tell you what.

If there are people who do wish to read on their backstory and/or future relationships like a special early preview. Then let this introduction post reach at least 500 likes and I’ll give y’all a treat to help you figure out what to expect for future events!!!

Hows that? Lol.

Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed this and I cant wait for you guys to see the first chapter when it releases. If any of you wish to be tagged in the first chapter to know when I’ll post on Christmas just let me know.

I cant wait for you guys to read it!!! And if you wanna talk about it just leave a comment! LETS TALK!

I hope you all are having a good rest of your day and I’ll see you guys in the next chapter!

How I imagine readers hips with swords look like. (If you know the artist type in their name on here or twitter in the comments so I can add it here please I tried looking but wasn’t lucky)