#i was up so fucking late i couldnt force myself out of bed and to that awful fucking room in time for class

[sus-bee]

im normal no one look at me

[merrixmas]

Didn't Know I Was Looking For Love

Title from the song Didn't know I was looking for love by everything but the girl.

Colleague Leon x Fem Reader

Summary: You broke up with your boyfriend when you were in police academy and after that you weren't interested on finding love until you met Leon a few years later.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Part 2

- Timeskip -

You got out of Raccoon city before it was destroyed, but your friend Rita got infected when she saved you. When the U.S. government discovered your actions, your survival and combat skills, they forced you to accept the position of becoming a Special Agent, in exchange of finding a vaccine for Rita. You endured the top-secret government program that consisted of intense training missions, you visit Rita every once in a while.

You noticed that she wasn't like those hungry and aggressive zombies, she'd just stay in her bed chained up, and so you'd go inside of her cell, sitting beside her, telling her how your days went. Blaming yourself for letting your guard down, and as time passes, your hope of finding a vaccine for Rita Faded. You had no choice but to let them eliminate Rita.

Years have passed, you recently heard about this Special Agent who saved the president's daughter back in spain. It's the first time you heard of him after so many years and he sounded so familiar. He was the late rookie back in Raccoon City. You haven't actually met him face to face you were sure he was the other rookie. You talked to Ingrid during her break, asking her about Leon.

"So he was the rookie back in Racoon city.." you murmured, taking a sip of your coffee.

"You haven't met him face to face yet?" She asked,

"No.." You and Leon went to the same academy and same department but didn't come across eachother.

"Well Leon's on his way here, why not have a little chat with him? you've been single for so many years already" She said, standing up to pat my shoulder for encouragement. "I'll be right back" You nodded, sitting down on the nearby chair next to Ingrid's, waiting patiently for her to come back.

As you waited, you looked at the papers on Ingrid's desk, examining it out of boredom. After a few minutes, you heard the door behind you open.

"Hey Ingrid, do you know how Leon survived back in Raccoon city?" I asked not looking behind me thinking it's just Ingrid.

"How did you know I was in Raccoon city?" The low male voice sending shivers down your spine.

You turned around to see a tall man standing Infront of you, your jaw about to drop on the floor, admiring his Facial features, His beautiful Ocean blue eyes, his lips, his muscular body, his broad shoulders, his biceps. He was wearing a black suit that hugged his body but doesn't constrict

"Instant panty dropper, the fuck.." I murmured to myself, biting your lip.

"What did you say?" He chuckled running his fingers down his hair.

Remembering your promise back in police academy. "N-nothing! I was just..." You were just wondering where he was cause he looks like an angel sent from heaven, you shook your head, telling yourself to concentrate.

He looked at you with a smirk on his face. Your panties were soaked and he haven't even touch you yet, you'd occasionally squirm and rub your thighs together for friction. Leon of course noticed what you were doing, and it turned him on. His pants were tightening from his bulge. You tried not to look at it, looking everywhere but him.

You turned around to avoid being awkward. You cleared your throat "So.. What brings you here?" You asked, looking at the papers again, holding it.

"I need those papers that you're holding right now" He responded, crossing his shoulders, tilting his head slightly on the side, he couldnt help but look at your curved body, he loved how your low buttoned shirt showed your cleavage and your short pencil skirt hugging your body.

"Oh, I thought these were Ingrid's, speaking of Ingrid. Have you seen her?" You said turning your head to look at him. In response, he shook his head, gesturing that he didn't.

You and Leon were chatting until Ingrid got back. "Looks like you two are getting along" she said while handing the papers to Leon.

"It's nice to meet someone that actually likes my one liners" He chuckled, looking at you up and down then waving goodbye with a wink. You waved goodbye to him, your eyes following him until he left the room. You sighed, then inhaling deeply, taking in the scent of his cologne.

"So, when's the date?" Ingrid teased,

"W-what-! There's no date!" You said, blushing at the thought of going on a date with Leon. You playfully slapped Ingrid's shoulder, giggling.

"Ooohh you sure? Then what's that paper on your shoulder? Looks like someone gave their number to you." You looked down to see a paper taped on your shirt with a phone number written on it. You wondered when did Leon put this on your shoulder.

When you got off work, you couldn't help but touch yourself in your car. You spread your legs, pulling your panties aside, fingering your throbbing wet cunt at the thought of him while moaning his name. You want him. Wait no, you need him. To love you, to the point not even death can make you two part.

Ingrid teased you about Leon after you met him. You text him whenever you had a chance, sometimes calling to tell eachother how your days went. But ever since you met him, you couldn't stop thinking about him and so did he, ever since he met you, he would think of you, he'd ask Ingrid about you when he should be focusing on his missions. Whenever you'd call him on his freetime, he would sometimes stroke himself while listening to you telling how your day went.

You'd hear him groan in call but you didn't think much of it. You were irresistible to him, he didn't really expect that he'd be falling inlove with someone ever again and so did you. Rumors started spreading about you and Leon when an agent heard your convo with Ingrid. Some of the female agents there were jealous of you, everytime you passed by them, they'd glare at you.

[iwantanywayyy]

dad and i are sitting on the couch together watching tv. it's Friday night so neither of us should be worried about getting up early tomorrow. i honestly always feel on edge when i have to stay at dad's for the weekends. he watches me do things i know dads shouldnt but he says it's because he loves me and wants to make sure im healthy and safe.

as we're watching the movie he keeps hinting i should go to bed because it's late. every time he talks he presses his toes up against me...i shudder every time and cant help clinging onto the side of the couch. i swear sometimes i see him smirk. he seems annoyed every time i tell him i want to stay up and shakes his foot against my pajama shorts before slightly relieving pressure.

after the fourth time hinting he got up and started muttering to himself as he walked to the kitchen.

i quickly shoved my hands under my panties and checked and oh gosh im so wet why am i wet?! im scared because i know dad does bad things but i can never remember anything i feel crazy and if im wet does that mean i like it? does he know i like it? i hear his footsteps coming back and i quickly squirm back into the position i was in before he left trying to make my face cool down.

he has a cup of water in each hand and i smile in appreciation as he gives me one. taking a few sips i go to put it down but dad tells me to keep drinking because it will make me go to bed quicker. he says he's tired and will do the same but he cant sleep until i do so he counts us down and we both finish our waters before he puts his arm around me and lets me cuddle against him. honestly it made me kind of uncomfortable but dad is so big and he was so warm and made me feel safe at the same time.

as the movie goes on i feel my eyes starting to get hazy. i didnt think the water trick was gonna work that quickly (i didnt think it would work at all honestly but dad's old and maybe it works for him) i mutter out to him im sleepy and try to stand up to bring myself to my bedroom but in my efforts dad firmly grabs my thigh and plops me back down next to him. i dont know why but this made me giggly  so i tried standing up again just so he'd do it and i stumbled back on the couch letting myself fall all the way back.

my eyes were closed for i dont know how long and i felt so sleepy but dad woke me up when i felt his teeth biting into my neck making my eyes flutter open and i couldnt help but cry out i didnt know what was happening i looked down and my tits were pulled out of my top and dad has two fingers trying to shove their way into my little pussy as i squirm against him starting to cry pleading with him over and over to stop but he just hushes me and grabs my neck pulling me up with one hand and pushing me flat against the couch as he strips my pajama shorts off my flailing legs as he tried to force them apart but i fight against him which i shouldn't have because he took his second hand and brought it up to my neck choking me so hard i thought i was going to die!

when he let go i gasped for air and laid there as he easily picked up my legs and placed himself between them. i started crying when i looked down and saw his face pressed against my pussy and felt his tongue drilling my little hole.

"mmmmm little girl stop crying this little pussy is so wet for your daddy isnt it? ive tasted this cute little cunt before you know that sweetheart?"

he shoved a finger inside me making me cry out and beg him to stop i couldnt think at all i felt so weak what was he doing and why didnt i want him to actually stop?!

"you've got no fight left babygirl? you want daddy to breed that tight little teen pussy?"

i laid on the couch exposed and dripping, crying, feeling defeated as my dad pushed my thighs against my chest and lined his big cock against his daughters pussy that he just ran his tongue all over like an animal not caring what im feeling just taking what he wants.

"I'm a filthy fucking man baby im gonna rape my seed into your little teen cunt do you know what that means sweetie?"

i stopped writing there dangit i wanted to know what happened next :/

[slasher-male-wife]

is me again :> i was wondering if you could write something based around a reader who refuses to take their medication and the character/s of your choice have to force them to take it for their health? i had a weird spur of prompt ideas at the exact moment i couldnt write so i thought id share them lol. i cant think of any specific characters so whichever you find fitting and easy to write works fine, ill be back with more (and i will return the favour soon i swear)

I'm starting this on Thursday on my phone because I love this prompt and I love all of my followers, all of you are my best friends and I will kill anyone for you (legally that is a joke). I do take meds for my adhd, hrt, to help regulate pain and some for when I get migraines. I'm going off of meds I know about so I don't fuck anything up and be really insensitive. I loved the last prompt and I hope you love this one too. One last thing please take your meds. I know it can be a chore to get out of bed and take them but please do it. Even if it's the only thing you do

Includes: Poly Sinclair brothers, and RZ Michael Myers

Warnings: Strong language, mentions of vomit, forced taking of medication

Sinclair brothers

You're having another migraine. God you hate these so much. The constant sharp sting and pounding in your head drives you nuts. You have a nasal spray to help, but it always leaks down the back of your throat with a horrible bitter taste that makes you almost vomit. But the only way the migraine ends on its own is with you also vomiting. So either way you lose. You're in your room with light shut out and the Vincent by your side, holding you hand and letting you squeeze his. You let out soft groans and you rub your temples. Bo opens the door and soft light floods in. You sit up and look at him. "Darlin you've been in here for an hour now. I hate seeing ya in pain. Just take yer meds and I'll get ya somethin to help with the taste." You shake your head.

"No Bo I'm fine I just need more time, I can handle this." He sighs.

"You need to take yer dam meds Y/n. “ 

“Bo I’m serious I’m fine just let me wait this out.” He huffs and shuts the door. You lay back down and Vincent rubs you hand with his thumb. About ten minutes later you hear footsteps again and the door opens you groan and sit up. But this time you find Lester. “Lester I’m fine I just need to wait this out.” He looks over to Vincent and back to you. 

“Darlin we hate seein ya in pain. Just take yer meds and it’ll be over soon.” You lay back down. 

“Lester it’s still a no ok? I’ll be ok.” You hear him walk over to the bed and sit next to you. 

“I’d hate to do this but I’ll make ya take it myself if ya don’t do it Y/n.” He doesn’t often use your name unless he really is serious. You look to Vincent for any support and you can see he wants you to take it too. 

“Fine I’ll fucking take it. God you guys are so annoying sometimes.” You get out of bed and go downstairs to find a big glass of water and your spray waiting for you. You open it, take it and start to chug your water as the bitter taste moves down your throat. The water wasn’t enough to stop it. You gag and sit at the table. Lester gives you a kiss on the cheek and Bo sits with you. But in the end, you knew they were right. 

RZ Michael Myers

It’s another day you don’t want to get out of bed. You’ve been stuck in your bed for a good few days now. Only getting up to use the bathroom when you really had to or if Michael dragged you out of bed. You’ve been so depressed lately you’ve been forgetting to take your meds. You know you should take your anti depressents but whats the point in doing that now? You’re looking back up at the celieng again, doing nothing like normal. Michael walks in but you don’t get up to greet him. You hear the soft rattle of your pill bottle and that makes you sit up. He has a glass of water with him too. “Michael I don’t want to take my meds ok? It’s not going to help with anything anyway, just leave me alone.” He stops next to your bed and sets down the water. He holds out the pill bottle for you to take. 

You push it away but he brings it back. You do this a few more times before you look up at his masked face. “Michael I’m not taking them ok? Leave me alone.” He pauses for a few moments before he moves the bottle closer to his face. He sits down on the bed and opens the bottle. He takes out your dose of pills and sets the bottle down. He holds the pills in his hand and brings them over to you. “I’m not fucking taking them ok? I don’t need them they don’t help.” Your frustration transfers to Michael. He grabs your jaw with one hand slightly firm and pulls open your mouth. He puts the pills in your mouth along with water quickly. He shuts your mouth and puts a hand over it so you can’t spit anything out. With no other option you swallow your pills and he pulls his hand away. He opens your mouth again and checks to make sure they’re gone. 

He sees how upset you are over this. He doesn’t do the best with emotions but he does press a masked kiss on your forehead. He lets you go back to laying around but he returns with some food for you to eat.

[notgalaxii]

How about... how do the brothers act around their crush?

This one was super sweet to write I- I love them 👉👈. Thank you for the ask! I hope you enjoy 🤞💕✨

Pride

Lucifers crush is the absolute hardest to tell

To the untrained eyes and ears, it seems like he's just being himself, but to those who are close to him, it's a little obvious

Lucifer tends to be more caring in a loving way than in a strict, "do what I say" manner

It's less of "Go to bed so you can go to school and not disappoint Diavolo" and more of "Get some rest, it's not healthy for you to stay up so late."

He also tends to be a little more expressive near his crush

Lucifer's signature knowing smirk twists up a little higher, and his eyes glimmer with not only pride but a bit of satisfaction and compassion around them.

He makes sure to give them small compliments

Typically his pride wouldn't allow him to endorse others, but with them, oooh boy

He will let them know how they look ravishing in such a nonchalant way; it seems like it's nothing

But to him, it could be everything

Bonus: He stood up to Diavolo once for his crush. Sort of.

Diavolo had given them a list of tasks to do and Lucifer felt like it was a bit much

"My lord, do you really believe that some of these are the best idea?"

It wasn't much but lets just say that Satan and Mammon were near by and their jaws hit the floor.

Greed

A mess. He acts like an absolute MESS around them

When he's just walking down the hall, he's composed. All of a sudden, his crush walks by him and awakens this sense of "I must embarrass myself at all times around this person and then punch myself about it later."

He hypes himself up around his crush

"Hah, of course the GREAT MAMMON can open this jar for you! Bow down, little human. Revel in my strength!!" he struggles to open it a little as well

In more serious and personal moments, Mammon is very sweet

As sweet as he can get when he's still trying to aggressively deny ANY sort of feelings

"Don't ever doubt yourself. You're my human, which means you kick ass. I wouldn't pick a human that WASN'T a total badass. N-not that I particularly picked you out of a crowd- YOU FORCED ME INTO THIS."

Bonus: If Mammon has a touchy crush, he would absolutely melt into their hands as he aggressively blushes at them

They'd get close enough to play with his hair and he'd be jelly on the floor

Would get super sad if they left and forgot their hug because he got used to oh how soft they were

Envy

Leviathan tries the absolute hardest to hide it

Unless you count Mammon but come on, is he really trying?

Leviathan's biggest tell would be that he tries to share his otaku passions with his crush

Because if he likes them, they've gotta be into that kinda stuff, right!? They're definitely not a normie and would absolutely LOVE his Manga collection

Would play it off nearly as tsundere-esque as Mammon

"I've decided that you're really nice to me, so I'm going to let you come over today and play video games with me. I have a super special raid spot saved for the two of us!!"

He tries pretty hard to impress them with his vast knowledge on obscure animes and idols

Levi would be at his crush's beck and call

"I saw you called me, I was in a dungeon but I tried to finish it as fast as I could!! What did you need~?"

Definitely a blush-a-tron 3000

All of his crushes are anime characters! How does he deal with someone he likes IN REAL LIFE!?

I'll tell you how, he sticks his hand over his face and tries to freeze time with his super secret power that he has yet to unlock and probably never will.

Bonus: Leviathan tells Henry 2.0 about his crush every time he spends time with them

"They touched my hand Henry, they touched my hand!!" blushes just thinking about it.

Wrath

Satan is ✨gentle✨ with his crush.

He's pretty insecure about how intense his anger can be when it comes to people he doesn't want to hurt, especially if it's a human.

Satan will try to show them his softest side in hopes that when they meet his wrath, they can anchor onto the fact that he's not that bad

That being saaaaid, if he senses their discomfort whatsoever, he tries to put out the flames of rage that are constantly brewing inside of him

And then offer to take them to somewhere to hopefully make them feel better.

"You seem to be tense. How would you like to join me on a little excursion? We could go see the new art exhibit that just opened up."

If that doesn't work, he invites them to his room to drink tea and maybe just chat

If they're into reading, he'll offer to let them look at his collection and maybe even pick something to borrow.

Satan is also pretty playful with his crush

Sometimes he'll say something a little mean just to get a reaction out of them, then immediately reassure them to the max that he was messing around.

"And I should be seen in public with a human because?"

"Hey-!"

"I was kidding!" He'd chuckle, bringing a mischievous finger to rest on his lips, "I only wanted to see how you'd react. I'd love to go somewhere with you."

Bonus: Satan's best pranks are with his crush.

Satan would definitely catch feelings with someone that challenge his brain and make him think bigger. He'd fall for someone bold, adventurous, and smart.

So combining the two of them makes for some of the most CREATIVE pranks

"So you guys are telling me that you switched the body of Mammon and a random woman on the street and then made a bet with Asmo that he couldn't seduce said woman... who had Mammon in her body."

"Absolutely."

Lust

Asmodeus would make his crush so obvious that everyone just thought he was messing around

He'd shower his crush in praise all the time

"Look at you! So beautiful!"

"Tell me, doll, have I ever let you know that your face is so symmetrical? Oh and your nose is so cute!~"

But oh, he gets f l u s t e r e d by them

If they compliment him back, he'll have a brief moment to blush and try to recover immediately

I feel like Asmodeus isn't as narcissistic as he leads on, like part of it is an act. Honestly, he might even be a little bit insecure about a few things so he buffs up his narcissism to distract from it.

That being said, he probably doesn't buff his narcissism around his crush that often

He puts the focus on them

Tries his best to listen to absolutely everything they have to say

Will make sure that they know he's always going to be there

Bonus: Asmodeus will always dress up his crush when he gets the chance to be absolutely stunning, but then gets really jealous when they go out and people start staring.

"Ah! It seems like they're admiring my work a little too much! I think if these dogs aren't put on leashes anytime soon, I might just have to take you back home. You wouldn't mind some alone time with Asmo, would you?~" The last sentence slips his lips in a very smooth and almost sultry tone.

Gluttony

Beel is so fucking precious please lord save me from this puppy

He would talk a lot around his crush

Boy has so much to say, I'm telling you

He's just never found the person to listen

His crush would be THAT person

The rest of the brothers would watch like "What drugs did this guy take? He usually only opens his mouth to eat something or say he wants to eat something."

Beel would also be VERY protective around his crush. Nobody would say anything to them ever because Beel would be looming over their shoulder like "Say it and I eat you."

Bonus: Everyone talks about Beels s/o being an amazing chef but just imagine him falling for someone who can't cook?

Like even though the food is bad he will sit there and eat absolutely eVERYTHING THEY MAKE

Because hes supportive and just wants to make them smile

Sloth

A weird combination of flirty and shy

Sometimes Belphie will tease his crush a little like Satan would, making comments just to see their reaction

But Belphie would see how long it would take for them to catch it instead of immediately reassuring them

He would crush on someone who doesn't mind his lifestyle of napping a lot, taking things slow, and not really caring so he'd be comfortable with them

Sometimes if his crush was sweet to him he'd get a little blushy and shy

Bonus: Imagine Belphie with an insomniac crush who can't sleep at night and takes random naps during the day

They get really tired cause they couldnt sleep the night before and Belphie asks them to come nap with him

He'll get them a pillow and everything to help them sleep at night

[bloomingnono]

meant it. (part 2)

pairing: jeno x reader

genre: angst, fluff

word count: ~ 1.7 k

warnings: language (like one curse word akjds)

intro l part 1 l part 2

a/n: im so sorry for the long wait:( i wanted to make sure i did my best, and wrote something i was overall pretty content with! but here’s the second, and final part to “meant it”!! i hope you all enjoy, especially my dear 🍿anonie<3

also not me making major adjustments 5 minutes before posting💀

taglist of my loves: @luvlyjaemin @vera-liscious @lenaluvs

Your bed felt cold. The type of cold that left your body weak. And yet again, you found yourself fighting to let sleep consume you.

You hesitantly turned to your left side, hoping that maybe, this was all just one big nightmare. That maybe when you turned around, he’d be there.

But you were only met with the other side of your bare bed; your lamp casting an amber tinge on your snow-white sheets.

Four weeks had passed since those final words had been exchanged. He had left you broken.

To say you missed him was an understatement.

You longed for the way your heartbeat quickened at his sight. You longed for the way your stomach fluttered as your name effortlessly slipped out of his lips. You longed for his touch; the way his fingers lingered against your skin.

You missed him.

But at what cost? To hear those three empty words leave his mouth?

No. Never again.

It was unfair to Jeno. But most of all, it was unfair to you.

You didn’t deserve to be told such idle lies.

Especially not from the one person you would give up your entire life for.

Jeno was a naive soul; so sincere and trusting of what only met the eye.

Mistakes were a daily occurrence in his life; learning and growing from them as he paved his way through.

.

But the second you left, he knew he had made the biggest mistake yet.

.

On the night when everything ended, there was an inexplainable feeling of void growing within him.

He didn’t have a reason to smile, nor the energy to cry.

Unlike anything he’d ever experienced before, he felt incomplete. It left him numb.

Before he knew it, four weeks had already gone by.

Four weeks since he last held your frame in his grasp. Four weeks since he last saw the face he once fell in love with. Four weeks since he left you utterly broken.

But in those four weeks, Jeno wasn’t living. He was simply existing.

He was merely left in his world; his actions and their consequences, being his sole companion.

He knew it was unfair to continue to lie and prolong the inevitable. But, why did it feel so wrong? It was the right decision to choose... right?

‘To choose.’

It seemed like such a simple action. It was something we did on a daily basis; nearly every second of every day.

Yet it held so much influence.

Jeno had finally realized that now.

Everything in life was purely a choice.

.

Everything.

You lie on your bed, your mind lost in all the bumps and ridges that painted your cream-colored ceiling.

It was late into the night, the moon peeking its way through the slits of your window blinds. The silence was peaceful, yet deafening.

Despite the unsettling aspects of the stillness, you’re ready for it to devour you; yearning for that feeling of tranquility that you haven’t felt in weeks.

But just as you are about to give in, you’re abruptly interrupted by frantic raps on your front door. Jostling up into a sitting position, you force yourself off your bed to check and see who was causing such a fuss.

The knocks on your door persist, not allowing for a single moment of intermission.

Apprehension quickly overtakes your body, frightened at what could possibly cause such actions to befall at this ungodly hour.

You hesitantly grab your doorknob, carefully turning it and opening the door just a fraction of the way.

You are met with a hunched figure; their hands on their knees and their hair damp with —what can only be assumed as— sweat. Their labored breathing leads you to believe they had run here, and hastily at that.

After a few short-lived seconds, you carefully try to assess the situation; fear still coursing throughout your body.

“Can I help you..?”

The figure instantly tenses at your tone, as if taken aback by the sound of your voice.

You watch in confusion as they begin to catch their breath, and stand to their full height. Straining your eyes to try and identify their face, you’re left frozen at the single feature that was recognizable even in pitch darkness.

His eyes.

You instinctively take a step backward, distrusting your vision.

But your presumption reigns true, as the figure tentatively takes a step forward through the doorway; his face now fully illuminated by your foyer light.

.

Lee Jeno.

.

He seemed to be in a terrible state: his hair a mess from the sweat, his clothes violated by the wind, and his breaths still quite uneven.

You attempt to try and form a coherent sentence, but the words seem to die in your throat. You could only look up at him, staring blankly with your mouth hung open.

“Wha... What are you doing here...?”

“I came to see you. I needed to talk to you. Immediately.” His expression was unreadable, yet his tone held the familiar hint of desperation. “I miss you. I want— No. I need you back. Nothing in this world seems right when I’m not with you. I’m not who I am without you. I need you…”

The silence that follows is unbearable.

It takes a few moments for his words to sink in. You feel your eyebrows furrow in confusion, contorting your features into a frown.

But the confusion is quickly replaced with the dreaded feeling of anger. It swiftly fills your entire soul, kindling a flame. The one emotion you tried so hard to repress, viciously engulfs your entire body.

The words that had once died in your throat, quickly resurrect and force their way out of your mouth.

You find your voice again. However, this time, it is nothing but cold and bitter.

“Lee Jeno, I love you. I’m not ashamed to say that I’m still hopelessly in love with you, because I am. But you aren’t. And that’s why I let you go.”

The floodgates were finally opened. There was no going back.

“As much as I still loved you, and as much as it killed me to accept that you didn’t return those feelings for me anymore; I let you go. Want to know why? Because your happiness means so much more than my own. I let you go because I love you so fucking much.”

Jeno stares at you with wide eyes, unable to summon a statement that could somehow ease the pain in you eyes. “I-“

“No, listen!!” Your voice begins break, unable to keep your emotions at bay. The words flow out of your mouth quicker than your mind could process. “I wanted to blame you. I wanted to hate you and resent you so badly for everything you put me through, but I couldnt. Because I still fucking love you!!”

The last statement leaves your throat raw. But you persist.

“You really got some nerve, Lee Jeno.” You laugh humorlessly at the pure audacity, before turning back to him with a renewed flame.

“You left me absolutely shattered. And I couldn’t even hate you for it. I refuse to let you hurt me again. I refuse to watch, as the love for me floods out of your eyes again. I REFUSE!!!”

Every last bit of your energy is wasted on your final words as you scream them at the top of your lungs.

The angry tears streaming out of your eyes seem endless. Your whole body trembles with pure fury as you collapse to the floor, legs giving out beneath you.

Jeno instinctively scrambles to your side, supporting your fragile form with his own.

Too weak to fight against his hold, you allow yourself to be braced by him; the touch being all too familiar for your liking.

“Why? Why are you doing this to me?” You purposely avoid his gaze as you ask, your voice impossibly faint. You’re left completely exhausted; the anger quickly transforming into pure defeat.

There’s a moment of hesitancy. You feel the sharp intake of breath that he takes before the reply is given.

.

“I... love you.”

.

Those three words that you once adored, and now despised... Those three words that had eased all your pain, but now caused your suffering...

Those three words... were no longer hollow.

.

He meant it again.

.

A chill swiftly travels down from the top of your spine to the tip of your toes, leaving you senseless.

He promptly proceeds; the hesitancy in his tone now replaced with a new-found determination.

“I love you. And not because I have to, but because I want to.” Cold fingers gently grip your chin, tilting it up to meet his gaze. “Loving you is not merely a spark. Loving you is not lust or simple desire. Loving you is a commitment. I want to wake up every day, and choose to love you.”

There’s another moment of silence; tears of regret traveling down to drip from the point of his chin.

“I’m so sorry for... everything.” He chokes back a sob as the words get caught in his throat. “I loathe myself for being the cause of all this. I will never forgive myself for hurting you and... and I completely understand if you aren’t willing to forgive me either-“

Before he could finish, you crash your lips onto his; successfully silencing his statement. Tears continue to descend both your guys’ cheeks, unable to subside from the overwhelming sense of comfort that came with being in the others’ warmth again.

You sense a familiar arm snake around your waist, pulling you deeper into the contact. Your own arms loop around his neck, absorbing the touch that you had longed for, so intensely.

You pull away from the kiss, coming face to face with the love of your life.

.

“You have no idea how much I missed feeling those words.” The sentence is muttered, speaking to yourself more than anyone else.

But he heard them nonetheless.

.

You feel his slender fingers encase either side of your face, his cool touch sending a wave of shock throughout your body. Keeping your face steady in his hands, he slowly leans his forehead against yours.

With his eyes closed and without a single waver in his voice, the words slip out again.

.

“I love you.”

.

You soak up the comfort that alluded from such simplicity.

You know that you guys aren’t perfect. Nowhere near it.

But what mattered, was that you were in each other’s hold again.

.

.

Because you loved each other...

.

.

And you meant it.

end.

[tobiosmilktea]

can i get some GOOD headcanons on kageyama, kuroo, oikawa, and terushima drunkingly confessing time there best friend? similar to how tsukki did it in the number neighbors au 🥰🥰🥰

drunk confessions w/ kageyama, kuroo, oikawa, and terushima

— k. tobio

OK HEAR ME OUT

kags is the type to be hella emotional when he’s drunk, like full on sobbing or just being moody for no reason

it’s definitely not that bad at first, i would think he could handle his alcohol pretty well but once he get a couple shots in THAT’S when moody kags come in

with you being the designated sober for the group, you had to not drink ofc

out of everyone else in the group he’s one of the more difficult ones

near the end of the might where you had to take everyone home, you literally had to force a sobbing kageyama into the uber

“wHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO DAMN CUTE FOR?”

homie would be choking in between sobs as you literally apologize to the driver

ngl it’s kinda hilarious

drunk kags = simp kags

“y/n ur so pwetty 🥺👉🏻👈🏻”

like DEADASS HES AN ENTIRELY NEW PERSON

but if he isn’t showering you with compliments, he would be crying into your shoulder about how stressed he has been bc of volleyball

“coach said my sets are getting weird 😔😔”

and then you would sit there awkwardly laughing as you tried your best comforting him

you would run your hands through his hair and he’s literally about to self combust from the contact

by the time your uber arrives to his apartment, trying to pull him out of the car is harder than pushing him into it

his six foot one ass really be making it harder than it should be

once you do finally get him out of the car, he’s completely slumped over you and you try your best to lead him back to his place

his muscular arms strategically placed around and over your shoulders as his feet basically drag on the ground

“y/n~ where are we going?”

“back to your apartment, tobio.”

this is the part where he groans and immediately starts resisting

the thing is it doesnt last long considering he’s completely fucking drained, if anything the moment you past by the threshold into his apartment he was already halfway unconscious

your muscles strained guiding him to his bedroom to which your literally just plop him onto his bed

you sigh to yourself as you felt immediate relief on your body

after a beat or two passed to regain some strength and energy, you tug on kag’s body again to make him properly lay on the bed rather than being at the cusp of falling off

“you’re so fucking heavy, tobio.” you pull his bedsheets over him, “also don’t get out of bed or else i’ll kick you.”

honestly he looked so cute as he was in the process of passing out

“y/n?” he called out before you could leave his side

“hm?”

it was then his right hand would find yours and pull it close to him, mumbling: “you treat me so well, y/n... no wonder why i’ve been in love with you since high school.”

perhaps you ended up not leaving his side that night

— k. tetsurou

homie won’t leave you alone while you guys are out drinking

HES VERY PROTECTIVE

he literally refuses to leave your side as both of you were drinking

i would say kuroo has a pretty strong alcohol tolerance but ngl yours is stronger fr

this obviously led to kuroo getting completely shitfaced at a much quicker pace than you and when he’s drunk, it’s obvious

like REALLY obvious

he’s most definitely a giggly drunk

he probably laughs at every little thing with that obnoxious hyena laugh you love to hear so much

if there was ever a moment you two did split up, you would immediately know where he was the moment his loud ass laughs literally thundered throughout the entire bar

“excuse me, have you seen my friend? he’s tall, has black hair that look’s like a chicken’s—”

*CUE LOUDASS HYENA LAUGH FROM ACROSS THE BAR*

“oop- nevermind”

you were literally on your way to fetch him as it was getting super late and the both of you needed to go home when you saw him stumbling farther away from you

“kuroo! where the hell are you going?” you would shout over the loud conversating crowds and music

he ultimately didn’t hear you as he continued walking towards the bar

you grumbled as your eyes stay locked on his large figure to which he starts climbing a bar stool

“oh my fucking god—kuroo!!”

this dude literally CLIMBS ONTO THE BAR

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!” he yells over the large crowd, everyone’s attention is on him and you were immediately struck with second-hand embarrassment

“MAY I HAVE YOU ATTENTION PLEASE! I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I AM LITERALY HEAD OVER HEELS FOR MY FRIEND Y/N!!”

when i tell you were wanted to drop dead then and there

your eyes widened in shock, your mouth parted, and you stood there completely paralyzed as kuroo points you out in the crowd

everyone surounding you turn towards your figure and your cheeks immediately flushed a bright red and your heart suddenly beating a thousand beats per minute

“IVE LIKED YOU FOR AGES.” kuroo continues, “AND I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU FELT THE SAME”

silence filled the club like a wet blanket as you nervously chuckle

this was so awkward like it’s not even funny

“well?” a random guy from across the bar shouted

you purse your lips, “if i say yes, would you get off the bar and take me out on a real date?”

the biggest smile melted upon kuroo’s lips as he laughs

he jumps off the bar and practically cuts through the crowd just to pull you into the tightest hug you’ve ever received

“god, you’re so drunk.”

“it was my only way of getting myself to finally say it.”

— o. tooru

if you think this boy has attitude when he’s sober just wait until he’s drunk

like literally he’s so mfing sassy and for what reason ??

i dont even think this boy drinks that much let alone has a high tolerance of alcohol

oikawa’s a lightweight (i said what i said 😤)

literally if he downs anything more than three shots, he’s a literal goner

not to mention HES ABSOLUTELY WILD

drunk oikawa — the wild, sassy one

i’d say he’s pretty loud, but def not as loud or confident enough like kuroo to stand on a mfing bar and confess his love

nah, if anything, oikawa’s more rowdy when it’s a party at someone else’s house

he knows to keep himself in check if he’s drinking in public (like he knows from experience and almost got arrested one time for public indecency but it izz what it izz)

so he practically learned to control himself, but if it’s a house party ??

GIRL, YOU GOT A WHOLE STORM COMIN

knowing that it’s at a friend’s house, especially if it’s your house, he’s letting himself get completely loose

he knows you’ll take care of him anyway

throughout the night he’s literally messing around with friends, maybe a game of beer pong would usually get him drunk

put once the party’s over, he would usually be the last one to leave as he was left on your couch passed out

you didn’t even notice he was there until he started snoring

you couldn’t help but laugh at his adorable unconscious state, it was almost as if you wanted to leave him be, but you knew he had to get back home

so you stroll towards his slumped figure on the couch and kneeled on the ground

his cheek was pressed up again one of the cushions and he was dribbling a bit of saliva but you ultimately chose to ignore it

“oikawa,” you muttered as you rubbed his shoulder and shook it

he wouldn’t really respond for the first few times, but after repeating his name after a while, he would start to stir

he would groan and could barely open his eyes

half-lidded, a smile forms on his lips at the mere sight of you

“hey there gorgeous.” he slurrs through his teeth as he continued to stir

“c’mon, get up you gotta get up and go home. i called an uber for you.”

you tried helping him get up, but he just plops down again

“why can’t i stay wit you?”

“cause you don’t live here.”

“i would if we were together.”

your brows furrow in confusion, “what do you mean?”

“i always wanted to live with someone i really liked... and that’s you.” his words were almost incoherent how slurred they were through his drunkened state

“you like me?” you asked just to reassure what he mumbled was truly what you heard

he nods as you brush his tangled jungle of hair out of his face

there was a deep onset of crimson blush that appeared on your cheeks as he did so, your heart beat quickening it’s speed as you sighed in contrnt

“you act like i didn’t know this whole time. you’re quite obvious about your feelings, oikawa.”

— t. yuuji

you and terushima were club regulars

each weekend you were out with him club and bar hopping just for the fun of it

but lately, the more often you do things the more desensitized and bored you get of the same activities over and over again

you and terushima sat in both of your car ready to drive to downtown where all the clubs were when you both lazily sighed

“i’m not really in the mood for loud music and socializing.” you would confess, ready to perhaps hear terushima’s jests of you being a party pooper

but instead he sighs and agrees to your surprise as he’s typically the one dragging you to these places anyway

“same,” he mutters. “i think i’d just hangout with you tonight.”

there was a slight tone in his voice as he peaked at you that you couldnt exactly pinpoint as if you were waiting for the catch

“i still wanna drink though.” he added, there it was

“good call”

from then on you stopped by a convinient store where you and terushima buy the cheapest six pack of canned beer

in the end alcohol was alcohol and you both didnt care about the quality

this was the only case in which you had a lower tolerance than terushima as he could literally handle the strongest of liquors and still act sober

it’s kinda scary as sometimes you can never tell whether or not he’s actually drunk

but as he is a sober drunk, the only way you can tell that he’s absolutely blasted is that he becomes brutally honest with you

that brutal honesty sometimes comes with a childish offhanded joke that you would roll your eyes to

not to mention he sometimes becomes a bit of a perv too

“your ass looks better in the dress you wore last weekend” was one example

and because you both wanted some quiet for once on a late saturday night, you drove all the way to the park where it was quiet enough for you two to relax

terushima had held your hand to help you walk up the steep hill to the top of the park in which oversees a great view of tokyo

with it’s pretty city lights shining upon you two, you and terushima settle yourselves on a bench and crack open your beers

you and him cheers as you two silently sipped at the alcohol

by the time both of you were in your third can of beer, it was obvious terushima was completely wasted

“not gonna lie,” oh here it comes, “your driving sucks.”

you couldn’t help but laugh at his honesty

a laugh that he likes so much, it sounded like heaven to his ears and he wanted to make you laugh again and again

“i mean, you’re the one whose making me drive you everywhere all the time.”

he scoffs, humming in response as his half-lidded eyes flickered towards you, admiring how the moonlight reflected upon your face as you breathed in the sky

“you’re so beautiful,” he practically whispers.

“hmm?” you turn towars him with you eyes coated in honey

god he was in deep

“i like you.”

it honestly shocked you at first as your eyes widened into saucers

it was straight and brutally honest confession

just how you like it

[soulwillower]

loving someone • richie tozier

(richie tozier x reader)

warning: angst, but a happy ending! some swearing, richie is neurodivergent, unedited

[losers + reader are about 17 in this]

1.3k words

♡

today was not a good day for richie to forget his meds. he can’t stop fidgeting and his mind is going way too quick for him; and he can’t stop obsessing over that word, love - all because of what bev had told him at 10:27 am this morning.

more importantly, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. 

a tried and true product of his upbringing and his failed past relationships, richie tozier cant help but think that love is some sort of dishonest glistening balance act, a currency used to trade other’s affections for a few months or years in someone’s bed. it was just manufactured to be attractive, glamorous and sought after in all walks of life. when in fact, as he learned, love is complex, terrifying to navigate, dangerous, and always deceiving. 

despite being a boy at the peak of naivety, he knows he’s rejecting this notion of loving (although he cannot seem to stop) and, more importantly, being loved, on the basis of fear. 

but that’s the thing about fear, isn’t it? it’s comfortable, it’s accessible. he can do so much with fear by his side - almost as much as what he can do with you by his side. 

he’s with you right now, and he’s staring at your glowing figure and he’s so overwhelmed he thinks he’s going to vomit. 

the quarry was empty and you had asked him to meet you here, so now the two of you sit side by side, your legs dangling off the cliff. 

the afternoon sun, warm on your bodies, is making you look more and more like an angel by the second and richie thinks if he loves you any harder he might fucking combust. 

you’re too goddamn beautiful. and he knows that you love him too, because bev told him so earlier this morning. she had whispered it to him, knowing that it was going to be serious information that completely changed him. 

she didn’t know it would fucking kill him, though. sheesh.

“richie?” you ask him then and he has to suck a long drag out of his cigarette to calm his shaking hands. he hums in question, looking to you and not trusting his voice. 

“can we... i think we need to talk about us.”

and he’s gone, he’s drowning in the noise of his own heartbeat because he’s fucking terrified, he’s so scared. 

what happens when you fight?

what happens when richie says something awful that he doesn’t mean and you’re both up late, him because of self loathing and you because you don’t know how to say those words: you’re too much, richie. 

you were always too kind. too forgiving of him when he broke your bike, when he punched bill back in eighth grade, when he runs his mouth and gets the shit kicked out of him, when he bounces his leg or flicks paper into your hair because so much is happening in his head that it’s overwhelming. 

so what happens when you realize that you don’t have to take pity on him anymore? that your love, while not in it’s intent, is superficial? 

what happens, because he knows he will be the one to blame when it all goes to shit because you couldnt ever do anything wrong. 

what happens when you roll your eyes in malice instead of amusement? when you say you hate him and you really mean it?

what happens when he’s too impulsive and he does something stupid like shaving his head and looks even uglier? 

how could you ever love him?

he can’t do this, he can’t, because he knows you’re going to be disappointed and you’re still waiting patiently for him to respond.

so instead of giving you the asnwer that you deserve- the richie of it all, the ‘i love you too much and i’m not good enough’ of it all, he just tips his body forward. 

he lets gravity take over because what else is there to do? he closes his eyes, one hand holding his glasses so he doesn’t lose them as his body rockets towards the water, away. 

away, away, away. 

and he’s in bliss as the cold water envelopes him and he thinks for a moment he could stay down here forever - maybe become the quarry troll. the losers could come visit him until they grow up and their potential brings them away from this dreaded town. 

away from him. 

but his peace is broken by a body - yours, he knows. he’s got every inch memorized. you’re pulling him up to surface with you and you gasp, looking at him with that look. he wants to yell at you, he wants you to see what he sees. 

(i'm in love and you've got me, you need to run away)

“richie, please listen to me.” you say and he studies your face. you’re wearing the clothes you were in at school (so is he, but you actually look good) and your hair is soaking. 

he nods and let’s out a weak, “okay.” 

your hands are on his cheeks and he’s forced to stare into the eyes of beauty, of love, of his future and he’s terrified but he just wants to kiss you and hold you forever. 

he hates himself for it. 

“richie, i’m in love with you.” you say softly, thumb stroking his cheek. he shakes his head, cursing himself for his stupid butterflies and screwing his eyes shut. 

“you don’t have to say it back. i don’t expect you to, i just had to tell you.” you add and he feels tears streaming down his cheeks. he can hear them hit the water that keeps him grounded. or maybe he’s grounded by your hands, but suddenly he’s lost because your hands are gone. his face feels cold in their absence. 

“please, don’t cry. we can go back to how it was, rich. i swear, i just want you to be happy.” you say softly. 

he looks at you for the first time since your confession and your nose is red, lip caught between his teeth. “that’s..that’s not love...” he says weakly, feeling lost and sounding unsure.

“of course it is, richie. i want you to do what makes you happy. whatever it is.” 

“what if... what i want..” he starts but he can’t finish. he can’t, he can’t. he can’t. 

but you don’t push him. he gathers his breath, “i want you, forever. but you’ll just end up hating me.” he whispers, his heart stinging. you step closer to him but don’t try to touch him. 

you shake your head, “do you think you could try to let me decide that for myself? because i’ve loved you for so long and i trust you, richie. i trust you and i want all of you. this, all of it.” you say again and richie’s shoulders slump. 

you trust him. 

“what we have.... it’s worth giving a try, don’t you think?” you say softly and when he looks at your eyes, he feels almost like he did before bev told him this morning. 

“okay.” he says, feeling stronger already. you give him a small smile and he melts. his head doesn’t hurt very much anymore. let you decide for yourself... that may be okay. 

“you sure, rich? i don’t want to pressure you into anything. what you want is the most important.” you whisper to him, looking nervous. 

he shakes his head, “i do love you. i do, i love you. and it’s worth it. you are.” his words are as dejected and clumpy as his head feels but he must’ve done the right thing because you’re smiling at him and his pain is leaving his body like it’s been washed away by your unexpected jump into the chasms of the quarry. 

“yeah?” you ask, and he nods again, staring at your lips. he can’t find the words, but his shaking hands come up to pull you closer to his body. you let him, your hands coming to reach his shoulders. you look how he feels - in love, happy, and not afraid.

he kisses you then, and you kiss back softly. patiently. 

he loves you so much and he thinks you might be the person to show him the true nature of raw, pure love. 

[lordevren]

lately ive been coming to terms with the fact that due to my sleep disorder (non-24) i will most likely never be able to live on a conventionally acceptable schedule no matter how much my mental health improves and its making me really fed up to realise it

i think for a long time ive been subconsciously hoping it would one day magically disappear or there would be some perfect cure but the reality is thats impossible. i will never be able to maintain a job or go to university or anything of that sort. maybe i can force myself for a max of 1 year before my immune system breaks down under the weight of extreme sleep deprivation but would there be a point when id be performing so badly id probably get fired or kicked out anyway?

i have been this way since i was born. i have tried everything i can think of to sleep at the "right" times and every attempt results in nothing but exhaustion. i only got through school because i was forced to go and even then i performed very poorly and had extremely low attendance due to the days when i was so tired i couldnt move. when i went on to college the hours increased and became even more impossible to maintain. i had to go to college every day when i was so tired i was shaking and hallucinating and then i was held to the same standards as all the normals in my group who got to sleep every night because their body has the privilege of a functioning circadian rhythm. i have been at a constant disadvantage my whole life that nobody understands. i am just expected to function on no sleep and if i say anything i am told "well why dont you just go to bed earlier" because people actually fucking think i would choose to be this way. they think that "i stayed up late on purpose and now im tired" and "i am entirely incapable of sleeping at the same time every night and am under constant stress and exhaustion because of this" are the same fucking thing

spoilers they are fucking not the same thing and living in this world which refuses to accommodate my disability has absolutely wrecked both my mental health and my physical health. i am struggling so badly right now just with getting up for my support 3 times a week. it is support that i need to live alone and yet i still have to cancel it fairly regularly because ive reached the point in tiredness where i just cant keep forcing myself awake. right now it is 12am and they are coming at 1pm and i woke up at 8pm feeling thankful that at least im past the point where i was waking at 4pm. this hell never ends.

[bigskydreaming]

Just a quick driveby post here to thank people for their continuing messages of support and donations despite the current theme of my blog being Welcome to Dullsville, Population: Me.. Not to put too fine a point on it, but its literally all that’s kept me alive, fed and with a roof over my head the past week lol, while I spend pretty much every single minute of every single hour I actually spend awake like, doing the Super Sexy Shuffle all about town as I continue hunting for a stable apartment/room to rent. Just, y’know, like, while disabled and broke and also like, during a literal pandemic because lololol, no, see, that’s what makes it FUN!

But like, yeah. So unfortunately, until I find SOMEWHERE stable to just like....exist in, until the surgery, like, my entire waking existence revolves around Addressing That. As lolol I simply can not afford to spend any of what little time I can stay upright/mobile at the moment on anything that isn’t productive towards like....tackling my one singular and obnoxiously pressing Need to fill/take care of.

Like, the good news is absolutely every single other thing needed to make the surgery even possible and get me ready for it, after an extremely long and drawn out three years, is finally and completely done and crossed off my list and officially Out of My Hands now. All scans have been done from every possible angle for the people making the prosthetic joint, insurance company has pre-approved and authorized every step and aspect of the actual surgery and hospital stay, and all of that is ready to go, I freaking got all my teeth extracted at age 35 just so as to as cheaply as possible get two straight and even rows dentures that even actually COULD be used to set a whole new bite from scratch, and that they could actually work with and use to align and position the new jaw/jaw angle at properly.....etc etc etc blah blah blah whatever.

Point is, all of that which feels so taxing and tedious even just rattling off in paragraph form, let alone LIVING it and that basically being the entirety of my whole life all day every day for three years.......like at least now its officially all done and out of my hands and at this point there is absolutely nothing left for me to do on my end or that I even CAN do on my end, other than wait fpr tje prosthetic to be finished, at which point they’ll book the surgery ASAP and at long last Make It So.

So like, I’m done done, according to every single one of the people I’ve extensively quizzed on that and then re-quizzed on that because its not like I haven’t heard that before and was told around this time LAST summer that I was at that stage only then get wallopped by the Plot Twist where they were like lol wait no scratch that, we lied.

But as far as I can tell, and accounting for every angle and possible late-stage obstacle that could still come up that I could even think of, everyone seems agreed that no This Time Its For REAL For Real Though, and like, pinky swore on it and everything, albeit in a socially distant way, of course.

*Shrugs* So they’re like, from here out its totally out of your hands and just a waiting game, so all that’s left for you to even do now is just.....keep existing until the prosthetic’s done and its surgery time. So just rest up as much as you possibly can and try to minimize your stress and pain-from-movement so as not to aggravate the issues your body is having any further than they already are.

Which totally makes sense as a plan and I am ALL for that gameplan and like, even found some cheap-o dictation software to experiment with and see if I can use it to just type-talk while lying down resting. Like, Ive gotten really good at talking while barely moving my mouth/jaw much at all, lol,  so that’s likely to still take WAY less of a toll on me than it does, having to sit up and type while gravity makes like an asshole and just stands on my jaw and makes everything worse all the ding-dong day long 

So anyway, that’s the plan at this point, and I’m totally on board and moooooore than ready to give the whole “bed-ridden” thing a try, lol. Just like. As soon as I first find a bed to be bed-ridden in, that’s at least even just a little more “actually something I can call my own bed” than the ones that I basically just rent by the day in motels that at their cheapest right now still cost like, a hundred bucks a day and lololol no that’s not sustainable and hasn’t been for a long while now but I just couldnt really do much about before while I still had to shuttle back and forth regularly between cities for different parts/stages of pre-surgery treatment.

Anyway, that’s the super exciting update on where I’ve ben and what I’ve been up to all week, and why Im not around much at the moment until I land somewhere stable, and like, preferably MUCH sooner rather than alter. But speaking of beds, now Im gonna go crash and crash HARD because Ive been up for a couple days straight now trying to Make Things Happen as much and as quickly as I can until my body force-quits on me and demands I plug back into bed for a recharging session or whatever. Ugh. 

Yeah, and tbh I have no idea if what Im saying even makes sense at this point and given how obnoxiously long it took me to get even this fairly-short-by-my-standards ramble out and onto the page, like.....this is me declaring myself officially Useless at this point and gonna go collapse now, kthxbai.

But also, seriously, seriously SO much thanks for everything everyone has done to help me this past week in particular. Legends only, each and every one of you. And like, your combined and continued goodwill is making it hard for me to even have a villain origin story so if anything that’s what’s gonna be my ultimate villain origin story so jot that down. And like. Make it make sense though.

Anyway. Thanks again! Or still, or always. And also like....goodnight! Or good morning, or good afternoon or ugh shut the fuck up and go the fuck to sleep, me.

[katsukikitten]

Fading Summer

He held the purple controller with deadly hands, sitting shoulder to shoulder, feet from the TV with Kirishima, Denki, and Deku. The N64 you brought into the dorms has been the center of attention since you pulled it out of the dull cardboard box . Purple grape with one purple grape controller and the other jungle green. The other two controllers where black and midnight blue that you, the ash blonde, Kiri and Mina spent hours....weeks finding so more people could play either Mario kart or Smash bros together.

At first the scarlet eyed boy was aprahensive about the old gaming system. He saw how Kirishima and Pikachu would spend hours upon hours on their shared switch that could have been spent studying or training.

That was until he was challenged by you one lazy afternoon.

"Come on Katsu play one game with us!!!" Eiji begged, patting a spot between you and himself. Katasuki lounged on the couch, legs outstretched as he was planning to watch a movie before you two barged in.

Before you used your puppy dog eyes to get the remote so you two could play.

"No shark face." He sneered over the rim of his book. He locked eyes with you before a smile crept onto those soft lips.

"He's just scared he'll get his asked kicked is all Eiji." She said haunty, as she selected her character.

"Oh like hell I am." He snarls, climbing from the couch and forcing you and Kiri to scoot away from one another to make room.

He never could ignore the call of a challenge. And from then on he bested everyone, everytime in whatever game but you.

When he asked why you wouldn't want a switch instead your face lit up, as if reliving the bitter sweet nostalgia as you said.

"I've just had so many good times playing this with my friends and family. I just can't give it up."

So he had learned to love the feeling of the smooth plastic in his hands as this small thing was something that made him feel closer to you. Especially now that you two spent countless summer hours right here in front of the TV, laughing, shoulder to shoulder with a notebook keeping score of each others wins.

A notebook that lies open to the dark eyed boy, displaying the harsh tallies of class 1As winnings, everyone had at least one inky black tally before Katsuki played.

Everyone but you who had been absent since finishing dinner. His eyes wander to the stairs leading to the girls dorms before "PLAYER ONE WINNER" is bellowed from the TV.

"Come on Katsu let someone else win!" Mina whines as she pouts on the couch

"Nah you dip shits should just get better." He says dropping the controller to make his way to the couch.

"Where's Y/N?" Deku asks earning a glare from the ash blonde for asking first, "She's missing the last tournament before school starts again."

"Oh she said she wasn't feeling too well at dinner." Momo says, bringing the snacks from the kitchen. "She said she was going to bed."

You press the heels of your palms into your eyes.

"Get your shit together." You growl harshly at your reflection. Fat tears threatening to spill again, "Why are you crying over something so fucking stupid!"

Your reflection doesn't answer as you stare yourself in the eye, it only mirrors you splashing hot water onto your face as you scrub a towel over your cheeks.

When you hold eye contact again, it's as if you weren't crying.

You paced in your room, damning yourself for thinking sleep would soothe the weighted void that sits in your chest. Chiseling away at your heart until you were compelled to move.

To run, if even for a moment to have a taste of the dying summer air on your tongue one more time.

You stalk down the stairs quietly, having waited long enough for the tournament to be over. The light from the TV glows faintly in the dark hallway, you eased into the shadows on silent feet with your eyes on the prize.

"Oi, You're not as quiet as you think you are." You jump what feels like six feet in the air. Hand hovering over the cool handle of the front door.

The gruff voice comes from the direction of the living room and you do not need to turn around to know who it belongs too.

You thought for sure that whoever was in the living room was either knocked out or absorbed in the late night TV.

You feel your heart hammer in your chest, blinking furiously at the lingering tears. You're afraid your voice might give you away but your hesitation will tip him off.

"Oh Katsu, you're up so late. And on the first school night!" You tease him as you normally would, though you keep your back to him, he sucks his teeth.

"And where are you going at 10:30 at night?" You don't have to see him to know he is crossing his arms with distaste.

"Im just stepping out to the convenience store." You huff, not sure how much longer you can use your voice evenly.

The sun had already set so early tonight compared to the rest of summer. The sun no longer wanting to kiss the earth, to kiss you for over eight hours a day.

No it was dwindling and dwindling fast.

And that *scared* you.

"This late? By yourself? I don't think so." He says darkly. Hiding the concern in his voice the only way he knows how, with malice.

"Oh Katsuki-kun. I'm a strong independent young hero. I can handle myself for a ten minute walk." Except it won't be a ten minute walk, your feet will urge you further. You pull the handle and with it the door just for it to be slammed shut by a hot palm. He looms over you now, so close you can feel his breath on your ear when he speaks.

"Not by yourself. It can wait til morning. If its medicine I'll get it." You feel his eyes on you as they survey, you bite your lip debating on tricking him.

On sending him on a wild goose chase just so you could sneak out on that ten minute walk.

But you think better of it, he would be honest with you if the shoe was on the other foot and I'm sure he'd want you to be honest now.

Whether you wanted to admit it or not you knew in the back of your head that Bakugou Katsuki could read you like a book and vice versa.

It was only natural with how much time the two of you spent together this summer.

This now decaying summer that you could smell in the air after the rain, the slight smell of decomposing leaves that is so faint you almost think it false until Mina made that damn comment this afternoon. Wrapped in her hot pink towel, yellow eyes glued on Kiri who wrestles with Katsu in the pool.

*"Its gonna be winter before we know it." *

And those words hadn't left you since.

Not even now under the heated gaze of your crush.

The one who kinda reminded you of summer itself.

Hot, explosive like a storm and almost unpredictable.

"I'm going Katsuki." You say darkly, most you faulter but he is not like most, "So you can either let me go alone or you come with me."

He scarlet eyes rover over you, unsure of what you're feeling in the low cast of the moonlight from outside but your tone tells him something is wrong whatever it is.

Something tells him you aren't going to the corner store either.

"Fine." He bites out, resisting the urge to push you against the door to tell you that you are not going, instead he pushes away, "Just let me grab my fucking phone."

He walks backwards to the living room sending you a glare before turning on his heel.

A glare in warning not to leave without him. So you don't.

He huffs as the two of you walk in silence, eyes watching the corner store fade behind the both of you.

"So where are we really headed?" He sighs in mock agony.

"You'll see!!" Your mood has improved some, at least since you pulled in a giant breathe of air when the two of you stepped outside.

The crickets still singing in the warm night, calling to you in their song.

Your eyes look to the sky to see the full moon, your whole body relishing the warmth of the night time air. Smile so wide on your face that it hurts.

A smile that Katsuki finds contagious as his lips turn upwards, eyes glued to you.

You hear a clock chime signaling the time and you gasp, grabbing onto Katsuki's rough hand, dragging him as you break into a full spring.

"We're gonna miss the train!" You yell to him which encourages him to keep pace.

Once the doors close behind you, you both grip your knees gasping for air.

The only other person on the late night train smiles, eyes twinkling with sudden memories of their own late nights.

"Where the fuck are we going?" Katsuki asks with little bite in his voice as you settle in front of the window.

"Its a secret!!!" You sing song as the train rushes by scenery that he watches you drink up as if this is the last time you'll see it.

It isn't until the train crosses the bridge does he realize you two are headed to the last stop.

Which come faster than he'd like, only now is he realizing he could watch you stare out at the stars all night, the train chimes overhead and you stand pulling him once more.

You find yourselves in a huge crowd and you smile pulling him further through the throngs of people. You stop when you see little stands set up every where filled to the brim even so late at night. You stop suddenly to ask a woman in a beautiful yukata that shimmers in pinks and golds like the setting sun.

"Excuse me what is this?" You ask politely, your curiosity earning a huge smile.

"Ah this is the End of the Summer Festival!" When she says the word end you squeeze Katsuki's hand tighter, "All things summer is here for you to enjoy!"

He watches your face almost become crest fallen.

"Why so late in the day," His tone comes out harsh and the woman glances between the two of you giving a small blush.

"Ah it's an all day event so everyone can enjoy it! Some people work so late they were missing it and others just couldnt say good bye to summer before sunset. Please enjoy the festival!"

You blink hard and try to take in your surroundings. You spy many little market stands filled with food, games and hell even an arcade.

Katsuki does not pull away from your soft grip on his hand, in fact his interlocks your fingers so you can pull him better. You don't look back when he does it and you don't look back as you pull him through the stands.

You start by buying you both Yakitori, followed by mouthwatering Ayu, some Takoyaki and all sumed up by sweet Taiyaki.

That is until you spot the famous colored cotton candy shaped like a fat unicorn horn.

Katsuki does not complain while he waits in line with you, your eyes finding your next adventure. He does not complain when you ask him to take a picture of you underneath the paper lanterns, that hit you in such a way that he cannot take his eyes off of you, or your smiling face as you stare at him.

You do not realize he sends the picture to himself as you slide your hand back into his offering him some of the sugary string to which he takes a large bite.

Letting the sugar dissolve agaisnt his tongue he wonders if your lips will be as sweet if not sweeter. He blushes but you do not notice as you drag him to a game.

"Step right up! Only 500 yen!" The man calls, "Break the record of seven watermelons with one punch and win the grand prize!"

Your eyes widen with glee as you see the oversized cat plush holding your favorite dessert, a taiyaki bun, in its obnoxiously cute black paws. The thing is so cute and sweet just looking at it makes Katsuki a little nauseous but when he sees the want glinting in your eyes he reluctantly releases your hand with out your asking to crack his neck.

"Alright line up as many as you've got." His eyes gleam with competative arrogance, forearm dancing with small explosions.

"Alright. If you can do 10 then I will throw in 10,000 yen." The elderly man says smugly lining up over 25 watermelons.

"Heh. Get ready to pay up gramps. Oh and of course I want that cat too."

"Sure thing kid. But you gotta get seven if you wanna win that for your pretty girlfriend over there." He laughs and Katsuki's cheeks burn with rage and blush.

He winds up and packs it with punch as he slams his fist into the first watermelon obliterating it and the shock from the blast causes the other 25 watermelons to explode as well. You squeal with delight.

"KATSUKI-KUN YOU WON!" Practically jumping with joy over his triumph confirming that he would do it all over again just to see you that happy.

Even if it took him braking 25,000 watermelons he would fucking do it for just a glimpse of the smile you've been hiding the past few days.

Katsuki smirks with manic malice as he jumps up to grab the oversized cat before holding out his hand.

The elderly man stands in uter shock as he stares down the red mess before him hesitant as he digs around for his little silver box of cash. He counts out the 10k yen sending you two on your way.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" You say as you squeeze the hell out of the cat, still jumping. Katsu sucks his teeth unable to keep the genuine smile off of his own face.

"It was nothing." He says as you slip your ever soft palm to his. His skin buzzes everytime yours touches his and he gladly let's you take the lead.

"Ah I'm thirsty after all that excitement." You beam, Bakugou spies a soda stand, fingering the easily got yen in his pocket.

"I'll get us a cherry soda, stay put." He says as he stands you off to the side since the line is hatefully long. He stares down at his phone at the picture of you he just took, smiling like a mad man as he waits.

You will always be worth the wait.

"This is your final warning." You growl darkly, causing Bakguou to look up with sharp eyes. He sees you placing the stuffed animal on the bench as this guy harasses you.

"Come on sugar tits." Katsuki practically blows up in line then and there as he stalks towards your back. He slips his right arm around your front pressing into your left hip bone pushing you into his body. He tilts his head as he left hand ignites inches from the guys face.

"Did you just fucking call *my* girl sugar tits?" His voice is so dark near your ear that you blush, letting your quirk fade from your palms.

And did he just say my girl?

Your gut clenches as he pulls you impossibly closer. Hand still letting off pops.

"I think you owe her a fucking apology before I make you sorry you ever thought you could disrespect a woman like that you stupid fuck."

"I..I'm sorry." The guy stammers with his now burnt off eyebrows as he bows deeply.

"Grab Neko-chan, Y/N." Katsuki purrs in your ear barely letting you go to do so. You hold onto the cat with all your might, heart banging against your rib cage as you overthink the encounter.

He was just doing it to be nice right?

You hesitantly reach for his hand before changing your mind. He glances at you with searing red eyes offering you his open palm.

"Where to next?" He asks, you stare at the invitation, frozen for a moment before you grab onto him with a strong hold.

"This way!" You smile taking him and Neko-chan in tow. You lead him to the small arcade challanging him to see who can win the most in street fighter.

He somehow kicks your ass by one match and you smile at this genuine excitement for victory. He catches you staring as you blush, nuzzling half of your face into Neko-chan's fur, making your eyes seem larger and doe like.

Katsuki swallows, more blush dusting his cheeks as he asks is a gruff tone.

"Whatchya starin at?" You giggle in response.

"Nothing!" You fight another giggle, arms tightening around black fur, "I just like your real smile is all."

He sucks his teeth and looks away not trusting himself to ignore the urge to shove that damn plush out of the way to see the smile you're hiding behind it, or to keep himself from kissing those lips that are curled up.

"I'll be right back." He leans in close to you with nothing separating you two but Neko-chan, "Try not to let anyone else hit on ya kay?"

"K...kay." He's pretty sure that's the first time you've stumbled over your words, positive that's the first time he's seen your cheeks so red.

On the way back from the bathroom he spies two little necklaces in the display case of prizes. One is a purple N64 console and the other is the matching controller. He likes the idea of them around your neck thanks to him and taps the counter with his freshly won 10,000 yen tapping at the set.

He produces the two small chains and watches as your eyes light up.

"Aaahhh!" You say separating the two as you slide the N64 console around your neck, holding out the controller to him. He frowns as he glares at it.

"You're supposed to wear both." He growls, though his grimace fades with every second you stare at him.

"No silly they are best friend necklaces!!!" You half sequal as you shove it over his neck. You tuck it beneath his black skull shirt, "See now it's our secret."

You smile a devilish smirk before you glance at the time on the analog clock behind him. You grab onto his hand with a death grip.

"Katsuki come on we are gonna miss it!" You whine as you drag him back into the busy street further and further through the festival until the people are so few and far between he wonders where you're taking him.

That is until his smells the tang of salted air brought in by what is normally a refreshing breeze that feels chilled from the changing seasons.

You rush him to the sand, breathing in the heavily summer scent, kicking off your shoes to feel the once warmed sand.

"Come on Katsuki-kun come on!" You urge as he fights with his own shoes willing to follow you to the ends of the Earth and it feels that way where you're taking him. Past a small bonfire to a secluded part of the beach where the moon hangs high over the ocean.

One can see all of the stars in the universe there in that little spot, his eyes look up drinking it all in before looking at an even more beautiful sight.

His heart skips a beat as your eyes dance in the starlight, cheeks now moon kissed and hair ruffled from the wind off the ocean, you close your eyes for just a moment to breath it all in.

The last bit of summer that you can smell before it all begins to disappear into sharper, more crisp smells.

He's close enough to you that he can smell the salt and sugar clinging to your skin, to your lips. He sighs, content for once in his life. Then the stars begin to fall in the deep reflection of your eyes.

"Katsu look!" You whisper shout and he follows your gaze to watch the sky fall.

"Make a wish make a wish!" You urge again and he silently prays that this moment will never end.

But sadly it does, as quickly as it came it went and your crest fallen face has his heart jumping into his throat. He attempts to swallow it down.

"Something wrong?" He asks so softly you wonder if it is still Bakugou sitting next to you and that one little question causes the tears to spill.

Yes something was wrong, terribly wrong.

"Oi..." He pulls you to him shielding your tears from the world as his hand subconsciously trailed up and down your spine, "Why are you crying? Are you not enjoying the last bit of summer?"

"That's it Katsu that's the problem. S..sum..." You choke on your tears before continuing, "Summer is ending and before you know it, it will be winter again. And then a new year and then summer will have flown by faster and faster until the next thing you know my whole life has slipped through my fingers. And I will be left feeling as if I missed all of it. Just like I am now, like I always do."

You fist his shirt as you cry, let it all out all the horrible thoughts of your life going by in the blink of an eye, as every new winter brings you more and more unhappiness and you are unsure why.

You only find solace in summer as things seem to slow down. When the days are stretched deep into the evening and each hour is blessed with such happy memories. Times of you with your N64, of you spending many hours outside baking in the heat of the sun, of miserable days when even the icecream is happy to melt. And especially this summer, *this* night that you've spent with Katsuki.

Memories you can never replace and pray

Hope and plead to any Kamisama who is listening that they will never allow you to forget.

"Hey it's all right." He soothes, "We can come back to this festival every year to help say good bye."

You hiccup, your tears slowing.

"And if that doesn't work I'll lasso the fucking sun for you. I'll be your summer incarnate. I'll do anything, *anything* to keep my girl smiling. To keep you smiling. All you have to do is fucking name it."

You blink away the tears as you stare up into his face and you can tell he's serious that he means it. Red fireworks erupt over head, lighting his eyes with an undying fire and you kiss him. Kiss him how you wanted to all summer. Slow burn that quickly ignites as your hands grab onto one another. Each fire work encouraging deeper and deeper kisses until you pull away. Almost gasping for breath. Your skin feeling heated as it does when you lie out in the sun too long. You hold his gaze, heart fluttering, eyes pricking with tears once more.

"Then lasso me the fucking sun, Katsuki."

[shesawriter39049]

|THE PLUG| P.2|M|JIMIN|

**JIMIN GETTING A LATE NIGHT TEXT FROM ANOTHER “CUSTOMER” SEEMS TO STIR UP SOME FEELINGS YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU HAD ****

Smut/ LIGHT Angst/ A lil fluff

Jimin and the OC are both whipped at this point...

The OC get’s jealous and a tad bit bratty so Jimin has to put her in her place

Pierced and tatted Jimin

5K

Jimin is a soft dom and a whole daddy, I said what I said....

WARNINGS: Language, dirty talk ,Soft dom Jimin, light cum play, light choking, overstimulation, oral (F receiving) creme pie/unprotected sex,hair puling, Jimin likes to be marked, the OC has a slight pain kink, light daddy kink(it’s not said physically during sex moreso jokingly but it’s used within the series)

Jimin 💨💨😏12:07PM : I’ll be back in town tonight, be ready by 10...pack a bag because I don’t plan on returning you until Monday night…..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been a little over a week since you’d seen him, the night the two of you ended up going out to dinner Jimin informed you he’d be heading out of town to handle some “Business” . Though he obviously didint go into much deatail you weren’t stupid, I mean the reason you met him in the first place is because he’s your local plug. Well aware that he grows his own supply, so 9 times outta 10 if he was going out of town it was for some sort of drug transaction. Now what you weren’t too sure about is if Jimin handled things stronger than just some ganja...but at the end of the day the less you knew the better!

Honestly, you weren’t expecting much to come from “That night” but you’d be lying if you said it wasn't one of the best dates you’d been on in years.Everything from the conversation, his choice in restaurant ambiance, and of course the sex, fuck...the sex. The kind that could have you on the brink of coming just from the thought of it alone….yeah..that kinda sex!

Ya know what's funny ? While on your date, you finally realized you really don’t know much about Jimin Park, outside of the obvious. So why did your heart damn near fall out of your ass when he told you he had to leave for “business” ? Why are you so anxious to see a man that you barely even know outside of the bedroom?

Believe it or not, this past week is actually the closest you’ve ever felt to him on a personal level outside of sex. While he was away handling whatever, the two of you spoke frequently, typically via text but it’s just the principle. Previously, the only time you’d text is when you were reaching out for a late night “special delivery”. You’d never dream of texting him just because you were bored or stressed..or to share the bomb ass combination of snacks you put together while stoned. Yet as of late you didin’t question yourself if you went to pick up your phone just to forward some stupid Twitter meme.

You were finally starting to learn little things about him, nothing major but still, the two of you did all this backwards so now it’s like your finally transitioning into the friend category. Which excited you as much as it terrifed you...because at the end of the day, behind all the smoke and mirriors, the sex, the pretty face, the nice car...

Jimin.IS.A.DRUG.DEALER. Plain and simple, everything about his life won’t be as pretty as his face!

I mean fuck, what if Jimin went out of town to kill someone for fucking up one of his trancations!? Yes, I know that was a little dramatic, but to be fair..you really don’t “know” him that well sooo…..anythings possible!

Yet, no matter how many thoughts and scenarios you had buzzing through your head that still didn't stop you from packing that overnight bag!

It was going on 10 at night the Friday of Labor Day weekend, and THANK GOD for a four day weekend...Jimin had literally just driven back in town and the first thing he did was pick you up. Secretly feeling like a giddy school girl on the inside once you read his text, it was straight to the point no BS...just flat out “I wanna spend the weekend with you”

The usual cat and mouse game the two of you played were you acted as though the visit was supposed to be solely “Business” related was clearly long gone. Jimin didn't care how much weed you wanted or if you even wanted any to begin with, he just wanted you...in his bed coming on his dick until you were light headed. Plain and simple…

You heard the purr of his blacked out challenger creep up your driveway, as you may or may not have been impatiently waiting for him in the foyer. Freshly showered, overnight bag packed, sexy barely there lingerie, hidden under an oversized tee that you actually stole from him the last time you were over! Forcing yourself to play it cool you waiting for his normal “Here” text before bolting to the door, but to your surprise the minute the door flung open there he was. Resting against the frame of your screen door, skin extremely tanned from whatever state he just came back from. Especially in contrast to his crisp white V-neck, and freshly tousled blonde locks, lips looking even poutier than usual.

“Hey…” fluttered from your chest as you smiled up at him, fuck he was so.Damn.Fine. Brow arched in disapproval at your owe too formal greeting.

“Really!? Is that how you think I wanna be greeted, after not seeing you for a damn week?” There was something extremely sexy about the fact that Jimin did not appear to play games. Very straight forward about what he wanted...and right now that was you….

Head cocked to the side slightly, tongue playing at this bottom lip, eyes unraveling you from head to toe, his ring coated fingers signaled for you to come closer “ Come to daddy…”

Not even trying to hide the exaggerated sigh that left your chest as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. The minute you stepped past the screen he scooped you up, hands taking purchases under your thighs. Knocking you back against the door with one deep roll of his hips, effortlessly snatching a moan from your throat while your head jerked against the glass.Blunt nails clawing at your ass while his tongue licked its way through the seam of your lips with a slight moan.Letting the metal bar from his piercing tease at your bottom lip in the process, fuck you couldnt wait to feel him between your thighs again! “Hii..” Slipped off his tongue, as he rolled his hips even deeper this time smirking against your lips in the process.

Hands roaming up his back purposely digging your nails through the thin fabric of his shirt before letting them get tangled in his hair. Taking a possessive hold on the strands at the nape of his neck, yanking his head back leaving his neck on full display. Breaking away from the kiss to suck on the owe so prominent vein probing through his skin. When it came to you Jimin's neck was his sweet spot, this man loved when you marked him! Claiming such a vulnerable yet “open” place as your own!

One hand coming up to caress the back of your neck holding you in place, as you sucked,licked and nipped at his skin. “Babyyyy” moaned past his lips as he stroked the side of your neck.

“Miss me?” the question was rhetorical, you could feel that he misses you even if it was purely sexual you were just curious if he’d admit it or

“I just drove 7 hours, and picking you up was my first stop...what the fuck do you think?” Another shameless moan rolled off his tongue , as your hands fell from his hair , kissing your way up his jaw, reclining it even more to give you better access.

A humm leaving your lips at that, though you were more flustered at his admission than anything “Good, because I’m over touching myself to that video we made a month ago....I need you to fuck me” Flicking at the hinge with your tongue smirking against his skin once the needies moan imaginable fell from his lips. While his hand crept into your hair, mimicking the hold you held on his, the new position forced you to stare into those big puppy dog eyes of his. Which were screaming how bad he needed you almost more than his cock was as it sat pressed throbbing against your thigh.

Tugging your bottom lip between his teeth, soothing the sting sligthly with his tongue, “Then we should probaly get outta here, before I bend you over, and fuck you on your damn porch!”

“Ohhh, is that a threat or a promise?” Brow quirked...testing your luck

“Baby, remember who your talking to then try that again, so you decide if you want little Susie next door to see you get fucked or not. Because the cops flicking me for indecenent exposure is the last thing on my mind….I’ll fuck you wherever you want me too..”

No, the sharp inhale that flooded your chest didn't go unnoticed, the smirk on Jimin’s face said it all “That’s what I thought….”

~~~~~

You found yourself stoned, laying in a sea of pillows on Jimin’s king sized bed,flicking through Netflix while he was in the shower. The sound of his phone ringing knocked you out of your current haze, not even aware he left it charging on the nightstand. Somehow you magically ended up all the way on the other side of the bed... Which is ironically where his nightstand was..hhmm Imagine that!

The number itself wasn’t saved but it was a local area code, you weren’t his girlfriend so it damn sure isn't your place to check and or answer his phone. More importantly, selling weed IS Jimin’s job. So you shouldn’t be surprised he’s getting random calls, hell you used to be one of those calls.

But thennnnn the person sent a text..and I mean you shouldn't look butttt……

(586) 445-8474: 11:12PM : Jiminieeeeeeeeeeeeee😍😍😍

You couldn't even help the snarl that naturally left your lips at that, everything from the nickname to the 83673 Emojis let you know this was a girl. But again your not official, not even close...so you can’t be mad….

Not even a minute later

(586) 445-8474: 11:12PM : It’s been too long, your favorite client is feeling neglected🥺 ...I think I deserve a special delivery…

“Of fucking course you do….” Eyes rolling to the back of your head more times than you could count, the dialogue just felt a little too familiar for you liking. But again, your not offical, and Jimin’s fine as fuck, you’d be stupid to think other "customers” didn;t have the same agenda as you. But still, THERE. NOT . YOU!

“Oh my fuck really!!?” Yes, you were legit yelling at the phone but I mean in all fairness..she was getting annoying she’s literally blowing Jimin’s phone up right now like dude CHILL! This is your third text in less than 5 minutes! Go play with your vibrator or something clearly he’s busy!

(586) 445-8474: 11:14: You already know what I want...just the usual with a little bonus on the side…..😏😏😏👅👅

I swear you almost threw up in your mouth at that, the sound of the shower shutting off had you flying over to the other side of the bed. Yet you couldn't wash the attitude off your face, not a damn chance....arms crossed eyes glued to all of nothing that danced along his flat screen.

Sauntering out, hair wet, slicked out of his face, his toned and tanned abdomen glistening...towel sitting dangerously low, v lines on full display. Standing there in all his glory, yet  believe it or not you were too damn annoyed to even be turned on right now!

“Your phones been having a seizure by the way…” Words leaving your lips dry as all hell earning an airy chuckle to fall from his lips. Still completely clueless to your current attitude...

“Oh yeah? Ya know, I’ve been saying I need a secretary..seems like your already on top of it...you down for hire?I’d pay you in more ways than one...” Slowly running his tongue along his teeth as he strolled in your direction, muscles flexing as he walked.

“Nah I’m good…” nothing subtle about the bite in our voice, eyes blatantly avoiding him and he already had an idea why. A slight smirk tugging on his lips as he walked over to his phone. Taking a quick look at all 8262 of his missed texts from his mystery customer before making his way over to you.

“Did you even notice I don’t even have her number saved?” To your surprise there wasn't a lick of attitude laced within his tone

Shrugging before he could even complete the sentence, an amused chuckle fluttered through the air, well, I’m glad he found this funny.

Bracing himself on his hands and knees as he crawled over to you, a knot forming in your stomach in anticipation! It was a lot easier to be angry when he was standing afar you didn’t need to see all things that were Jimin Park in close proximity! Fuck, you really didn't wanna cave..even though you really had NO right to be mad, but that's besides the point. Your in too deep at this point ya just gotta commit!

“Stop” spine going rigid at the almost primal glint  that hit his eyes as a narrowed in your direction.

“You know I don’t don’t have time to play games, I told you...daddy had some business to handle...I haven’t had time for anything...or anyone else….” Reaching over grabbing both of your ankles, yanking you down the bed in one swift notion. Breath hiccuping in your chest, at how quickly he moved you, often forgetting how strong this man really was. Positioning you right under him, caging you in. The strong scent of vanilla hitting your nose as you tried your damnedest to keep your best poker face on!  Yet all you wanted to do is lean up and taste those sinfully thick lips of his. He knew it too, the way your eyes immediately dropped down...so he hoovered..nice and low as he talked, purposely teasing you until you had to damn near mentally restrain yourself from chasing after him.

“‘I just got back in town and your the one in my bed so fix your fuckin face….”  There wasn’t any inflation in tone, nor did the tenor change within that tranquil lull he called a voice! Yet you felt you chest get tight..fuck everything got tight. Still baffled by how much authority just slipped past his lips in the calmest tone imaginable.

Turning your head to rest your cheek on the side of the bed, trying to avoid eye contact, clearly he didn't like that. “I never realized how much of a brat you could be ...your usually such a good girl for me is this what happens when I leave you untouched?!” Gripping a chunk of your hair right at the scalp . Tilting your head until your neck was arched off the bed , a hiss leaving your lips from the current sting that was fluttering from your scalp down to your core.

Eyes narrowing in his direction, jaw tight “ I. Don’t. Care. You don't owe me anything so-”

Cutting you off with a snarl, tugging your hair even tighter until he pulled a restrained moan from your throat “ Oh don’t give me that bullshit, you do care, and I no I don't owe you anything...but I’m choosing to let you know…”

Shifting slightly so one of his knees sat between your thighs, pressed firm against your heat, towel falling back on the bed in the process”So how long are you gonna try and sit in my face…” Dropping his posture so he was braced on one elbow...exchange the grip he held on your scalp for your waist. Digging his thumb into your hip “..And act like me telling you, your the only person I’ve been wrapped around...isint why your pussys fuckin soaked..” Pulling your panties to the side just enough to tease you. Slowly rocking your hips against his thigh. Body arching naturally needing to feel more no matter how much you wanted to fight it, and he gave you what you wanted. Lifting your hips, guiding you in a deep wave like motion, applying steady pressure to your clit until it was almost sticking to his thigh...even through your panties ...”Such a greedy little thing aren't you? your gonan fuck around and come all over my thigh if you keep it up, your clits already getting hard baby I can feel it…”

“Oh fuck meeee..” Hissed past your lips in slight defeat as your body betrayed you once again eyes fluttering to the back of your head as you clawed at his sheets

“ Oh I will, especially because..if were being honest... “ Reaching over with his opposite, grabbing a fist full of your shirt, yanking you upright while he rested his weight on his knees. Having your lips flush against his thigh, head lulling on your shoulder as they spread every so slightly, giving you direct  stimulation. Waving his tongue into your mouth, the kiss was hard, deep, so much so that he almost knocked the went out of you. “The idea of me... being the only one to fill you up get’s me sooo fuckin hard..”

Faint kisses fluttered against your lips as he took your hand in his, letting you take a little detour up his chiseled adbodomed, along his chest..edging your way down to his pelvis. Gently digging your nails into his V-Lines...eyes glued to the way his muscles tensed as you ravished over them with the pads of your fingers. Your fingers were tingling you were getting so impatient ...finally guiding you down to stroke his length guiding your movements. Almost as if he was teasing himself, not fully applying steady pressure. Or maybe he was waiting for you to take the lead. Work him in your hand like it was yours ….

The feeling of him hot and ready, throbbing against your palm had you stroking him on your own accord loving the site above you your own little private show. Watching his plush lips part as he slowly started to unravel eyes sitting low.For the first time since you've known him you were the cause of the sudden haze that washed over his body ...a low throaty moan leaving his chest.

“I can’t believe your over here trippin over some bitch on my phone when ....you got me right here hard as fuck ready to do whatever you want me to” Thoes words fell from his lips in nothing but a honey coated moan…”Mmm..you feel that? it's all for you if you want it…”

Aburputy knocking you back on the bed...body bouncing slightly against the mattress “You want it...your pussys telling me how bad you want it, these sexy little panties are soaked baby…” Eyes falling to admire the wet patch forming against your panties, a moan slipping from his lips as he pressed two fingers firm against your clothed slit making your body jerk.”All I thought about my entire ride home was making you come-”

The sound of another incoming text rang through the air completely snatching you out of the mood .

“You should probably get to that , wouldn't want you to miss out on an important customer. “ Rolling your eyes as tried to get up..you thought! One roll of Jimin’s hips knocked you right back on your ass.

“Do you really think I give a fuck about what’s going on, on my phone right now? Your not stupid you know what she wants from me….that’s why your so pissy-”

“I told you I-” 

“Fucking stop-” Cutting you off before you could continue your normal sechduled bullshit! 

“You know why she hit me up….”  Reaching for your shirt  again, pulling  you up to straddle his thighs “..And you care...”  Resting his forehead agaisnt yours…”lie to me again...I fuckin dare you...” There was a good 5 second pause that felt like it lasted a hour your heart was pounding so fast, while Jimin’s eyes pryed into yours “I’m not a child Y/N, I don’t play mind games! What I want, and who I want is right here-”…

“Prove it…”  Fell from your lips before you could even think about it, fuck it was so cliche but you meant it! 

There was a blatant shift once you said that, instantly, his face softened but his eyes got dark “I don't need to prove shit Y/N...you already know and that’s why your upset” Lips ghosting over yours as he spoke, fuck why were you already panting he hasn’t even done anything yet! “Actually... you could feel it,feel that shits shifting between us, and that’s the ONLY reason. You even give a fuck that some chicks on my phone” 

You throat got dry as all hell, deffiently not expecting for him to call you out like that “What you felt wasn’t in your head, it was real,and you’ll feel it again, and again. Until it sticks in that thick ass head of yours that we both have options, but clearly-” Brow quirked arrogantly, almost as if to say “You see where we are..,you already know whats up!”

Shifting forward to lay you back on the bed, grounding his hips into yours to hold you in place . pressing his lips against yours refusing to make the first move, now it was all on you, "Stop being stubborn and tell me that you want me, tell me that you want this..." Voice dropping to a sinful tenor, just as as dominant as it was needy!

"I want it" You didint even need to think about it because he was right..that's the only reason you got upset...you want whatever “This” is .

Slowly sliding his tongue past the seam of your lips at the admission...hands soothing up your thighs pulling back, yanking your shirt over his head "You look good in my shirt by the way..." the contrast of his rings against your skin was inviting since every inch of your body felt like it was set ablaze once he started placing open mouthed kisses down your stomach. Blowing over every spot he licked, eyes zoning in on the way your muscles contracted everytime. “Fuck, I can smell you from here…” Jimin’s mouth was literally watering as your arousal graced his nose.

Soft moans fell from your lips as he spread your legs even wider, pressing your ass firm into his mattress.  Hands kneading at your inner thighs, while you laid there fully exposed giving him free-reign to your body. Yet you didn't feel uncomftable, or embarrassed, in fact it was the exact opposite...suddenly feeling this need within you to let him have you any way he wanted.

“Do you always get this wet or is it just for me?” Teeth sinking into the side of your hip, making you buck into his mouth! Running away from the sting while begging for more all at the same time.

“You, fuck it’s you, please don’t do this, no teasing I’ve been needing you all day…” The admission was honest you woke up aching for him. Once he got to your hip bone you gripped the sheets on command anticipation for him to drag this out and tease you but boy where you damn wrong!

Reclining his jaw, placing his mouth over your lips, swallowing your clit in the process, “Jiminnn” Hands flying to his head, almost trying to pull him off , not expecting it to feel that intense...prepared for him to take it slow, edge you a little for being a brat. But it was clear Jimin wasn't in the mood to play games whatsoever tonight.

“Na-uh...I’m not stopping until your feel it...all of it…” Gliding his tongue along your folds, reaching up to free the hold you held on his hair, intertwining his fingers with yours instead. Back arching slightly as you squeezed down on his fingers, this man was treating your clit as if it was your tounge. There's no other way to describe the intense pressure he was applying to every inch of your heat. Licking,sucking,swirling his tongue around you like it was his life's goal to rip you apart nerve, by nerve  as quickly as possible. You could physically hear the sound of his lips sucking against your juices how wet, and messy you were. “Such a greedy pussy baby…” Smirking against your folds as he watched the way your entrance clenched and released around nothing, sliding his tounge over your slit again this time a little slower. Teasing your entrance, waving it in and out, almost grazing the top of your walls in the process.

By now Jimin knew exactly what do you to get you off within minutes if need be, lapping his tongue around all of the juices falling from every crevice. Eyes wired shut, as your body jerked and tensed at every deadly roll of the tongue, the added sensation from his piercing had you damn near crawling up the bed. You could feel Jimin moaning out a taste of you, every sound vibrated through your body as he captured your clit between his lips, sucking on it mercilessly grazing it gently with his teeth. “Jiminnnn fuckkk..” Back arching off the end as you squeezed down on his fingers even fighter, you were sure his fingers were going numb!  He wasn’t holding back on you tonight kneading out in pleasure burying your face into the sheets, biting down as hard as you could.

A breathy whine of his name feel from your lips as he already knew that meant you were coming, your clit started to tense beneath his tongue. Gently freeing your hand from his, brining it down to meet his tongue. Sliding 3 fingers in knuckle deep in one notion, which pushed you completely over the edge, a brittle cry left your throat. Body naturally jerking away from him as you came, trying to turn on your side, clamping your thighs around his head. Only making him moan even harder as your juices slide down his chin. The vibrations pushing you even further over the edge, working you through your orgasmn he relsed your clit, but still kept slowly pumping his fingers in and out. Soft praises fell from his lips as he watched you fall apart beanthe him.

“God your so fuckin sexy baby, you did sooo good..you taste fuckin amazing…” Voice sitting a little husky, already sounding fucked out. The only noise in the background was the low hum of the tv and the sound of your juices being being roamed around your pussy. Using your own arousal to get himself nice and wet, soft moans fell from his lips as he worked himself in his hand.

The sound alone had you eyes prying open as you reached up, tugging on his chain gently so he’d lean forward.”Come’re..”Sliding your tongue into his mouth, moaning out as you tasted yourself letting your fingers get lost in his slightly damp locks.”Why is your cock in your hand instead of my pussy?” Brow arched arrogently “Fuck, meeee” Biting down on his bottom lip, your request is more of a command, using the brattestt tenor ever but he didint fight you on this. Throbbing too damn hard for you to draw this out, a low growl hissed from his lips as he angled himself at your entrance, pushing into you making you ground your hips into the mattress the pressure was so intense. “Oh my god…” but you damn sure weren't running away, you needed him.

Tilting your head back, jaw slightly ajar, as the blunt head of his dick started morphing his way into your heat as both of you moaning out at the stretch, eyes flutter to the back of your head, bracing your weight on your elbows, while his lips connected to your ear “You feel it yet ?” panted from his lips you could feel him smirking against your skin. Whimpering out in response, slamming your lips back into his as he bottomed out completely damn near knocking the wind out of you in the process.

A low whine leaving your chest, while Jimin braced his hands on your knees spreading them to their breaking point as he started pounding into you.  Jimin was never one to fuck on jack rabbit speed, but he could still get rough and thats the modd he was in tonight, his thrust were slow and deep, but HARD. Pelvis bone grazed your clit at every thrust ‘Fuck I missed this, you feel so good around me baby, so fuckin tight” snarled from his lips

Teeth digging into his bottom lip as he fucked into you, the moans that fell from your throat only edged him on, you swore he was still throbbing even while being balls deep inside you. “How are you still so tight!? you just won't...ease up tonight fuckkkkk…” You were holding onto him for dear life, even as he slid out your pussy would catch him! Clamping down around the tip, walls never fully relaxing, almost as if he had to break his way through with every thrust.

“I told you I needed you, you fucked me soo good the last time baby...it’s all I could think about….” Arching your hips slightly meeting his thrust, challanging them actually,  egging him on to fuck you even harder “Yes-yes-fuckkk-I missed you….” Not sure where that came from but you didn't regret it and you weren't taking it back.

The confession ripped a moan from his throat, as he brought one had up to stroke your jaw, thumb flicking your bottom lip which you welcomed with your tongue. Sucking it into your mouth  with a moan as you rolled your hips even deeper, eyes glued to his.  “ Mmm, I missed you too, fuckk..” Head snapping back at how tight you just got upon him saying that, jaw tight, nostrils flared, completely consumed in everything that is you! “ Goddamn, I’m not gonna last, you gotta let up a little baby fuckk…”  Leaning over to spit directly on your clit.

“I can’t- I can’t -you, you feel too good..” Your words were so broken you were so close, exchanging the hold he had on your hip for neck. Applying just the right amount of pressure, while his other hand came down to work your clit, his skilled fingers circling the overly sensitive bud until your body felt like it was toppling over itself. Crying out his name in boken whispers, as you came with such force Jimin almost felt as if you were pushing in out from how hard you were pulsing around him.

“Fuck..” Growled from his chest, as his hips started to falter “So fuckin wet…babbyyyy…” sounding almost as if he was pleading for you to stop even though to be fair you weren't doing anything. Grinding into your slowly as you whined into the pillow. Bringing his fingers up from your clit letting you taste yourself,using it almost as a distraction.Lapping your tongue over the diggest with a slight moan. You started trying to fuck him back only earning a smack to the clit “No fuck, dont- I’ll come right now and I don’t- fuck- I dont wanan come yet…” Leaning forward to lick his way back into your mouth, deep and slopply, teeth clicking together slightly “It’s so fuckin messy god I love it...love fuckin your pussy baby…” Moaned past him lips as he started picking up his pace again.

“Mmm, I can feel it dripping out...I meant  I said earily...I can’t even get myself this wet...you fuck me soo good Jimin...so good” Letting your figners get tangled in his hair.

“Jesus..” He was winded, and ready to come then and there, but needed to pull one more from you, whether you knew it or not. Taking a moment to pull himself together,before slamming right back into you. The sound of his headboard banging against the wall muffled the sound of you completely falling apart. Once he found your spot again he rammed it mercilessly “Come again, come with me baby please..” Whined form his lips his voice breaking ever so slightly. This time you brought your own hand down to work your clit, Knowing exactly what to do you push you right back to the edge. “Yes, yes, fuck good girl, such a good girl  for me…” He could feel you getting tighter and tighter.

“Comeee, fill me up again baby….let me feel it, all of it!”Knowing you choice of words would push him over the edge,his thrust became uneven and you knew he was done. Your name fell from his lips repeatedly as his warmth spilled through you. Which is actually what triggered your third release, as it came crashing on top of you ripping a silent cry from your throat as your body spazzed around him. Pulling out slowly, only to play in his cum that was leaking out, swirling it around his fingers. Body jerking at every touch, shoving it all back in, followed by his length which had you back coming to a complete arch, nails digging into the sheets. Jimin feathered kisses all over your face, praising you repeatedly trying to get your body to stop shaking.He didn't wanna lose your warmth yet, he needed to feel you, soft moans fell from his lips as he tried to soothe you. His body still just as sensitive, and it didn't help that you were still pulsing around him.

Hands roaming up your thighs, his tongue stroking yours leisurely. Slowly grinding his hips into yours actually somewhat edging you ... giving just enough to have you on the brink of begging for him to give it all to you even though you really couldn’t handle it! Pulling your lips away from his tenantivily “I can’t feel my legs, your legit carrying me the rest of the weekend….” Straight up pouting and 100% serious though Jimin only laughed, an exhausted airy chuckle filled the room.

“Your fault, your challenged me baby girl...I guess you know better than to doubt me huh?” Flicking your bottom lip with ths tounge, the peice of metal teaseing your skin.

“I mean..I dont know, if you’ll fuck me like that everytime I do then maybeeeee-” The sound of his phone ringing finally his body from y yours with a loud sigh

“I gotta get that...All “after hour specials” aside..this..” Flicking his head in the direction of his phone “This is my job, this is my life, my phone rings at all hours of the night and realistically...if they want at least a quarter even if it’s after midnight theres a good chance I’ll make the drop….”

A long sigh left your chest because you knew what he was getting at, as I stated earlier Jimin didn't play games. This was his way of letting you know if you wanted to keep doing whatever “This” is...you’d have to get used to his lifestyle….

Nodding slowing...kissing up his face, until your lips found his again, there was no ulterior motive...you just wanted to taste him. “I have a couple contracts with dispensaries...and cbd shops which is good..because that’s steady reliable money...but I’m a hustler at heart. I take care of myself, have since I was 16, everything I do isn't as clean and pretty as my face…”  his choice of words were playful but there was nothing innocent about what he was implying!

Leaning down to kiss your forehead, a timid smile tugging on his cheeks, you could tell how vulnerable he felt right now. Brining your hands up to soothe his back as he talked.Not sharing too much because in the same notion, outside of the fact that you’ve been buying weed from him for damn near 6 months, on a personal level he dosen’t know much about you either. But considering the way things have escalated recnetly he knows he owes you atleast a vauge warning...

“I’m not gonna lie to you, all of my clients aren’t like Brandi...that’s her name by the way she’s a nurse...or the one who just text I’m sure it’s Tim..he’s an IT guy. They usually come to me once every other month and I put together a Little special. which is equivalent to 2 1/2 eighths! “

Eyes damn near bugging out of your head that,which made  it made him chuckle lightening the mood a little!  Eighters aren’t cheap they could be well over $150 depending on the type so between the two of them Jimin could easily make almost $1000 in one night!

“And yes, since I’m sure it’s been buzzing through your mind some of my clients are just a cliche and shady as you’ve probably imagained…..”

The sharp inhale that left your chest didn't go unnoticed, “ I’m not a rookie baby relax, I’m not reckless, but I’m also not innocent. There maybe nights, or even days were I go MIA and I won’t tell you where I am...the less you know the better.”

The idea of that alone kinda made your heart sink, nights were you'd have to feel him creak out of bed and not know where he was going and more importantly if he’d even make it back. “My lifestyle isn't for everyone, but my bills stay paid and it keeps my savings account up for a rainy day. I don’t have family to lean on...all I got is me...Soo I gotta do what I gotta do….” You heard his voice flutter in his chest at the mention of family, or lack there of!

Reaching up to cup his face in your hands, locking your eyes with his “Why are you telling me all this Jimin….” You needed him to say it..spell it out…

The smile that moved up his face as he licked his lips had your chest tight. The blatant fondness that dance through his eyes as he gazed back at you!

“Because I can’t stop thinking about you, and I don’t want too... I like the idea of you keeping my bed warm for me at night...but I don't want to paint a false picture of who I am. At the end of the day I’m not some corporate hothead in a suit, though I own a few and look damn good in it… too…”

Always so modest eyes rolling to the back of your head, an exhausted giggle left your chest “I like who I’m getting to know, and I know your not some super clean cut guy. And I’m not gonna lie it’s actually kinda sexy…..” You couldn't even hide the smile that creeped up your face if you wanted to as you felt his dick twitch, at the sudden praise.  Almost forgetting he was still buried between your thighs. Making it damn hard to focus on much else  now….

“I-I don't really know how this whole thing works, but I don’t mind trying..and just taking whatever this “thing” is..day by day with you….I’ve known who you were since, the first night I let you in...I’m not expecting you to be anything other than the guy I met outside of Jhonnys” Thumbing at his bottom lip, feeling somewhat anxious after you spit all that out...

The purest smile stretched across his face until you were almost questioning where his eyes went! Sinking his teeth into his bottom lip, nodding slowly , you could physically feel the tension leaving his body .

“You can come with me if you want...I won’t say that often, actually probaly ever..but Tim and Brandi are harmeless..and they live in the fuckin burbs!  Also, it would let Brandi know that I gotta take my late night specials off the menu…”

You couldn’t help but snort out a laugh at that nudging his chest playfully “If I go there's 3 stipulations.”

Brow arching in curiosity ‘Hmmm?”

“1st, you need to roll me a joint, because my muscles are aching thanks to somebody!! “ A smug smirk tugged on his lips at that

“Two….you gotta buy me whatever I want from 7/11 because you live in Africa and I need snacks for the road” A cackle ruperted from his chest, Jimin had one of the purest laughs you’d every heard. What makes it even better is he laughs with his entire body, almost falling off the bed in the process.

“And last ...were gonna play 21 questions….on our ride down there...I’m not here to find out your secret sauce for your fire hybrids..I just ...wanna get to know you...not “Jimin The Plug”...just..my Jimin…” Feeling somewhat shy once you said that, especially because you already claimed him without even realizing it! But the smile that moved up his face as he strolled closer killed any doubts…

“Your Jimin” Hmmm..I like that, and it’s a deal...to all three...and thennnn…” Crawling his way over to you, letting his body hoover over yours “When we get back...we can crawl back into bed and I’ll  fuck you right to sleep…”

THATS ALL SHE WROTE!!! FOR NOW...I ACTUALLY ALREADY HAVE AN IDEA FOR PART 3 ( IT GETS A LITTLE ANGSTY) SO IF THIS GETS ENOUGH LOVE ILL ADD IT TO MY LIST. IF YOU LIKED IT “LIKE IT” COME DROP BY THE ASKS AND LEMME KNOW…

SIDE NOTE: Leave a comment if you want me to do a little excerpt of  their 21 questions car ride...for the MOST part the questions will be legit. Not “what's a kink I don't know about” it will be them actually getting to know each other BUT it’s Jimin so it will get a little cheeky of course!!

UPDATE AS OF 9/8- I AM DOING A 21Q’S CHAPTER...SOOO SEND ME QUESTIONS YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT THE OC AND JIMIN!! 

LOVE YOU GUYS AS ALWAYS,

ROCKI

[tiger-in-the-flightdeck]

Who wants to read my FIRST EVER posted fanfiction? It’s from 2008, but was written even before that.

I won’t be posting it on ao3, so this is going to be where it sits for now.

It was one of those deliciously lazy days at the beginning of summer. It was warm enough in the house that Gojyo was feeling drowsy and cat like, but not hot enough that he was sweating buckets just sitting in the livingroom. He was laying on the couch, his feet up on the arm of it, his hand thrown over his eyes to keep the light out of them. Not asleep, but not totally awake, he had been there for about a half hour, dozing while Hakkai was at the market in town. His roommate had walked, so the little dragon was curled up in a potted plant near the front door. Every so often Gojyo heard a contented little sigh coming from that direction.

One of those days. He thought to himself, scratching at his stomach, and giving a great yawn. Even Hakkai hadn't been feeling overly industrious today, only wanting to go to town to pick up some mushrooms since they couldnt grow it in their little garden. Barbecue tonight. Four large steaks were marinating in the fridge right now. The two extra because Sanzo and his pet Monkey usually invited themselves over for dinner and Hakkai, ever the good host, wouldn't dream of feeding them less than he could give. Gojyo had cut a deal with a butcher nearby, in exchange for redoing his roof and bathroom, they would receive a cow and pig, pre-slaughtered of course. It hadn't been a very hard job- Gojyo finding himself enjoying working with his hands in something constructive- and now the two of them had enough meat to last nearly a year. More if Goku didn't come by so often during meal time. That, combined with the prosperous garden in the backyard, they were fairly comfortable.

Gojyo sipped on a glass of lemonade sitting on the floor beside him. The day was too nice to sully with beer. Shifting to put it back on the floor had given him a rather unpleasant wedgie. It took him a few moments to dislodge it, and when he finally readjusted himself, he now hard a swollen hard on from rubbing against the inside of his jeans. Ignoring it for a while did nothing, before he finally decided To hell with it. He was by himself anyway, and he had been a good boy lately. Taking a glance to the frontdoor to make sure that the dragon was asleep before quietly unzipping his pants. He hitched up his shirt, tucking the hem under his chin and began running his fingers through the silken dark crimson hair around the base of his cock. He was fully erect now, laying had against his stomach, the tip bumping into his belly button. He reached lower and massaged his balls and tugged on his scrotum. Moaning softly, he bit his lip and started to stroke himself, his thumb describing a slow circle around the head to spread his pre-come over it.

Brown hair brushing his thighs, smirking lips suckling on his flesh. Oh shit. Green eyes looking up at him through dark lashes. Not... Slender, sure hands stroking him in just the right way. "...Hakkai..." he moaned aloud, gritting his teeth wondering what fucked up being was putting these images in his head. Yes, he knew he was attracted to Hakkai in more ways than one, but this was the first time he had really thought about him while touching himself. He was pumping his hips into his hand while picturing his best friend kneeling between his thighs "Gods....Hakkai..."

He froze at the sound of paper crinkling and refused to open his eyes. If I can't see him, I can't see the the look on his face, he reasoned, cock still in hand. He heard Hakkai chuckle softly and walk to the counter. He must have come in through the door in the kitchen, which opened much quieter than the front door. "Sanzo and Goku will be hear in about a half hour. Would you mind finishing up, then helping me with supper?" He could hear the humour in his friend's voice. Clearly enjoying tormenting the halfbreed.

"Nngh, no, I'll uh, just wash my hands and then we'll get supper d-done." Cracking and eye open, he saw Hakkai had his back to him. He tucked himself back into his pants, carefully zipping up - his hands were still shaking.

"Well as long as you're not going to be too uncomfortable."

He wobbled into the bathroom, washed his hands and splashed water on his face. "You are so totally fucked." He told his reflection softly.

***

Back in the kitchen, as soon as Gojyo closed the bathroom door, Hakkai collapsed against the counter, his body quaking with silent laughter. Oh, he knew that Gojyo had been trying to be secretive about his feelings towards his roommate, but he never thought he would catch him jerking off while groaning Hakkai's name. It shouldn't have been so funny, but they were comforable enough in their relationship that Hakkai would be snickering about it for weeks, with no one really being hurt.

Gojyo came back from the bathroom, and Hakkai smiled his evil little smile. The redhead nearly lost it at the sight of his friend holding a pair of tomatos and a cucumber. "Salad?" He asked, slowly running the cucumber under the tap, stroking dirt off, watching Gojyo out of the corner of his eyes.

"You are an evil, evil man. You know this, right?" Gojyo snatched the tomatoes and washed them as well.

Hakkai reached out and took one from him, hefting it in his open palm. "Don't you just love sun ripened tomatoes? They are that perfect texture, and they still hold some of the risidual heat of the day." Oh, this is just too much fun. He brushed a fleck of dirt of with his thumb, Gojyo's right eye twitched.

"I hate you right now." His voice was getting low and husky. His erection came back with an aggressive demand. "I'm about to bust a seam here."

"Don't worry. I know how to sew remember." Hakkai tossed his head, his hair falling to one side of his face. His good eye twinkled with mirth and... something else. He very slowly licked his bottom lip, then caught it between his teeth.

With a low grunt, Gojyo tossed the vegetables onto the counter, grabbed Hakkai's hips and pushed him hard against the counter. His lips slammed into his friend's and he ground their crotches together. Hakkai grabbed handfuls of scarlet hair and twisted his head for a better angle to kiss.

"Heeeyyyy! We're heeerrrrre!" They heard feet pounding up the front porch.

"Kill me. Now." Gojyo groaned low and long before going to let the rest of their party into the house. I'm going to be humping trees before the day ends, I can see it now. He glanced back at Hakkai, who was slicing the vegetables. How the bastard could go back be to being so calm, he had no idea.

Goku tumbled into the house, practically buzzing with energy. "Hi guys! We brought a pie!" The boy held it up proudly. "I made it myself. From those apples we bought the other day."

"Why thank you Goku, that was very nice of you." Hakkai took the pie and put it on the counter. Taking the steaks from the fridge, he lead them out to the backyard. "Gojyo, if you would be so kind as to light the barbecue? Thanks." He jerked his chin to the barbecue that was just off the back patio.

The steaks were great, Hakkai knew how each of them liked theirs. Sanzo- medium well, Goku- medium, Gojyo- medium rare, just on the rarer side. All seasoned perfectly. Gojyo had made his baked potatoes, and the salad they had made together with the pie made a wonderful meal. The preist and his pet stayed late, until Goku was nearly nodding off. Hakkai wrapped up the rest of the pie to send home with them, and ushered them out the door.

"Sleep time." Hakkai said, as soon as the door was closed. "You would think that those two would want to spend less time with us now that we are back from India." He shook his head in wonderment, ignoring the pained look on Gojyo's face. He had already made up his mind that they would explore what had happened in the kitchen further tomorrow, but now, he was tired.

Hakkai turned down the bedcovers and fluffed the pillows. Gojyo followed him with his eyes before changing into a new pair of underwear to sleep in. Horrrny. Must bend him over bed. Must... He shook his head and climbed into his side of bed. Hakkai slid into the bed, and turned on his side for Gojyo to spoon. Their bodies fit together perfectly, but Gojyo had to pull his hips back to keep from poking his friend. "Sorry." he mumbled and reached down to tuck himself into the waistband of his boxers so he could snuggle against Hakkai's back.

"It's alright. Have sweet dreams."

Teeth grit together with force enough to pop his jaw.

****

Gojyo was surprised to find that he didn't wake up sticky. They made breakfast, Hakkai read the newspaper, and Gojyo fixed the showerhead. Neither brought up what happened the day before. It was early afternoon, and Hakkai was kneeling in his garden, weeding. Stripped to the waist, Gojyo watched him from the kitchen window, a cup of coffee in his hand. He looked ridiculously adorable in his straw hat with a big plastic daisy on the side. Even his gardening gloves had flowers printed on them. Gojyo finished his coffee, rinsed his cup and went out the back to kneel beside Hakkai. He stared stupidly at the plants, unsure what he was actually looking at.

"Those are weeds." The healer pointed at the dandilions then at the red peppers. "Those aren't." He chuckled quietly.

They stayed like that in companionable silence for several minutes before Hakkai dropped his trowel. "So, do you think about me often when you masturbate?" He asked softly, turning to his friend.

Gojyo couldn't read his expression. "I haven't jerked off that much since we came home. Like maybe once every few weeks. I don't think of much, I usually have a magazine or something like that."

"Ah. Would you be uncomfortable if I told you I've thought about you any time I have touched myself in the past three years?" He brushed hair away from his eyes. "That I've wanted you to kiss me like you did yesterday for so long, so badly."

"Uh... Um."

Hakkai grinned and tilted his head to one side. "Does it?"

"Not at all." His voice was deep and throaty, his adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed loudly. "Fucking, hell no." He reached out, grabbed the front of Hakkai's shirt and pulled him roughly to him. His tongue probed into the brunet's mouth, and he relished in the little sounds of pleasure coming from his partner. "I want you so damn bad, 'Kai." He kisses a line down his throat, nuzzling into the collar of his shirt to lick at his shoulder, then up to suck on his ear. Gojyo tugged Hakkai's shirt up and off, tossing it to the side before ducking down to suck on a nipple.

Soon Hakkai was panting, his hips moving gently. He pulled back and shoved Gojyo down onto the ground. Peeling off his gloves, he ran his hands over the muscled lines of Gojyo's stomach and chest. He dipped his head down to lick his bellybutton. Gojyo buried his fingers in chestnut hair to guide his face lower. Enjoying the look of hunger on his partner's face, Hakkai reached to the garden and snapped a bean vine off a pole, one of the ones that wasn't giving forth any pods. He wound it around Gojyo's wrists and dropped them to the ground.

"Well, you certainly aren't subtle." Hakkai smirked as he popped open the fly of Gojyo's snug jeans. He tugged them down his hips, pleased to see that he wasn't wearing any underwear beneath them. "Out of clean shorts?"

"Nnh, didn't feel like wearing any to- Ahh!" He cried out when Hakkai wrapped his tongue around the head of his cock. With one hand he undid his own pants, with the other he twirled a finger around the head of Gojyo's cock. "Im sorry Im not cut." the red head mumbled somewhat incoherently.

"That's perfectly alright, I'm not either. Catholic orphanage and all. Besides, the foreskin helps with this:" Hakkai wrapped his hand tightly around the shaft, and pumped up and down. Without loosening his grip, the foreskin made it easier to pump hard and fast. "I wouldnt be able to do this otherwise. Plus:" He bobbed his head down and nipped gently at the skin, sucking it into his mouth.

Gojyo began chanting obscenities, his hips bucking up. His head lolled from side to side, the rich earthy scent of the garden filling his nostrils. Right in the damn yard, he thought, trying to watch as Hakkai was stroking himself slowly while sucking Gojyo. "You've done this 'fore 'aven't you?"

There was a wet pop as Hakkai let go of his cock. "No actually, just thought about it a fair amount." He repositioned himself between Gojyo's thighs so his friend could see him touching himself. He leaned forward and rubbed their hard shafts alongside eachother. He was interested to see that they were nearly the same size, Gojyo being just the smallest bit longer and thicker. Holding himself up on one hand, he kissed him deeply while fondling them both with his free hand.

"Tell me you love me." Gojyo moaned, eyelids fluttering, face flushed. "Tell me, please."

A happy laugh, none of the cruelty the halfbreed was terrified to hear. "Of course I love you, you great dolt. The blood in my veins." He murmered against scarlet hair.

At the sound of his voice, Gojyo's hips bucked upwards. Taking the cue, Hakkai crawled down and began sucking again. He was so damn good, Gojyo didn't know how he did it. When a gentle hand reached up and began cupping his balls, he started to writhe. "Uhnn, 'Kai, I don't know how long Im gonna last." Those unbelievably sexy lips, his cock disappearing almost entirely into that gorgeous mouth, peeking out and slamming back in. Hakkai pressed two knuckles beneath the base, massaging. Gojyo suddenly felt a great pressure building almost as soon as he began pressing like that. "Fuck, gonna come babe. Its gonna happen, now!"

Hakkai pulled back, lifting himelf up, the sun behind him haloing his head, letting thick ribbons of semen strike him. Gojyo's eyes bugged, it was getting everywhere, splashing across his lover's stomach and chest, hitting his face, even getting in his hair. It was something that turned him on when he watched a video or looked at a magazine, but actually seeing his come covering his lover kept him hard. When he finally stopped shuddering, Gojyo snapped the vines that bound his wrists. Hakkai was still kneeling, his tongue poking out of his mouth to lick at the corner of his lip to taste Gojyo's come, with a look of interest on his face.

"Shower, now." He grabbed the waistband of his pants, and hobbled into the house, toeing his boots off just inside the door. Hakkai followed after him. Gojyo pushed him roughly against the bathroom door, licking his neck. "Ohh, I can taste myself on you."

They started the water, and Hakkai found himself slammed against the wall under the showerhead. Since Gojyo had fixed it that day, the pressure of the water was more powerful.

"I've never, uh, been with a dude before, Hakkai. You're gonna have to tell me if Im hurting you." He knelt in front of him, pressing Hakkai back so the water streamed off his chest, soon they were both soaked. Hakkai was guiding him by the hair, showing him where it felt best. The first man he had ever touched, and he was going down on him. Gojyo couldn't really believe it. He could taste pre-come building in his mouth, bitter at the back of his tongue. "I want you Hakkai." He kissed the tip of his cock almost tenderly before rising. "I want to make love to you, fuck you, gods, I just want you so fucking bad." He was trembling, his breath coming out shakily as he bent his head to kiss him. "Can I?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Hakkai reached for the soap and began lathering them both up. He stroked Gojyo's length until the suds had built up to a thick froth. He handed the bar of soap to the redhead and turned around. He heard the slapping sound of Gojyo rubbing the bar between his hands. He gasped when those hands reached down between his thighs, using the soap as a lubricant. His spine arched as first one finger pressed against his enterance, then a second. Rubbing his cheek against the cool tile of the shower wall, Hakkai forced himself to relax. The wrong sound: a whimper, or a gasp of pain, and Gojyo would lose all confidence, and this wouldn't be finished. The fingers moved in and out, slowly at first, gainly speed gradually.

"Are you ready yet?" Gojyo's voice shook with need. He had never needed someone as much as he did at his moment.

"I am. I'm ready for you." He spread his legs slightly. Being so close in height was going to make this easier on them both, Gojyo didn't have to bend his knees so much to be able to press into him. He did so, agonizingly slowly. The soap helped to ease the resistance, but Hakkai was still virgin tight. It took several minutes before he was fully inside, and another long moment that seemed to last for an eternity before he was able to start thrusting. He had both hands gripping on Hakkais hips, partly to help them move, partly because he wanted to touch as much of the other man as he could. Gojyo pressed his chest against his lover's back, kissing his ear, tugging on the silver cuffs. "I love you, I love you, I love you." He pulled out long enough to turn Hakkai around. Hakkai braced a foot on the soap dish on the wall, one hand gripping the shower head, the other the curtainrod. He wrapped his free leg around Gojyo's waist, tipping his hips up invitingly. Gojyo flipped his wet hair back from his face and took him more roughly this time, passion starting to take him over. The water from the shower was pooling between them. The halfbreed laced his fingers with Hakkai's around the shower head, his other hand jerking his partner off, fondling his balls.

"Getting close? I'm gonna come again Hakkai." He dropped his head back as he felt the pressure building inside him. "Nngh, come with me Hakkai. Please babe!"

Hakkai's breath quickened. He began nodding, biting his lip, and grunting softly. "Yes Gojyo. I'm almost with you." He cried out when Gojyo pushed him hard against the wall, slamming into him as he came with a violent shudder. Hakkai's orgasm hit with an almost blinding force. Gojyo caught most of the semen in his fist, bringing his hand to his lips to lick it clean. "I love you Gojyo." They pressed their foreheads together, panting heavily. Gojyo drew himself out slowly.

"I love you 'Kai." He was slurring his words. "Orgasms...fun...whee...must do that again."

Hakkai turned the water off and wiped his hair back from his face, smiling with eyes half closed. "Of course. Later. Food now."

It was several weeks later when the preist and the monkey came back for another visit and couldn't find the roommates in the house. Venturing into the backyard turned out to be a horible idea for the preist.

"Sanzo, why are Hakkai and Gojyo fighting? ....Oh...oh.... um, they're not fighitng, are they? Um." He broke into a grin. "Hey, so thats where you got that position!"

[collectionofdestiel]

Life is Weird

Prompt from Chagnon1022: A story where castiel assumes dean is cheating based on a phone call he over heard but it turns out dean was talking to his brother Sam so he could  him advise to propose to cas

~

Days turned quickly to months which unfolded rapidly into years. It felt as though one day Castiel was alone in this world with little in the bank and a less than stellar outlook on life, then the next he was sharing life with who he believed to be his soul mate. Life was weird, he decided, as he procrastinated starting his day by laying in their shared bed with only a wrinkly sheet flung across his skin. Weird in a way that it felt like yesterday he had none of what he had now.

Finally deciding that thinking over his lonely past was only going to make it that much harder to get out of bed, he threw his feet from the bed and onto the floor. His body twisted a little too fast so he took a moment to sit and wait for his head to clear. There was nothing on the schedule for today which meant that he and his boyfriend could spend a lazy day together.

That thought caused a slow smile to grace his features and gave him the motivation he needed to finally stand. After throwing on a pair of clean boxers he padded from their bedroom toward the kitchen, already smelling bacon and eggs.

“I don’t know, I mean, how did you do it?” Dean’s rough voice broke through the crisp late morning air.

Castiel stopped his feet in the hallway, curiosity perked his ears. Maybe it was a work call? It was odd that Dean would be on the phone on a Saturday especially before noon. There was no secret Dean wasnt a morning person, and it also wasn’t a secret he hated talking on the phone.

“Well, I cant do that.” Huffing a laugh, Dean’s voice then dropped to a whisper. “I can’t just tell him that.”

Curiosity peaking ever higher hearing the low tone of his boyfriend’s voice, Castiel tip toed so he could pressed himself against the wall beside the doorway. He knew he shouldn’t spy, and should definitely make his presense known, but for some reason that old feeling of lonliness started to flood his system and make his body feel too weak to dare make a move.

“I mean, I love you, but that is dumb. Just cause it worked for you doesn’t mean it will for me. One, how the hell am I supposed to do that without him knowing since we have a shared bank account and two, that’s like a four hour drive.”

It took all of his will to not gasp, to not succumb to the ice water now plunging through his veins and freezing over his heart. Had he misheard?

Dean sighed deeply and almost comically. “Tonight? I can’t do it tonight. I need more time to… think it over and get everything ready.”

Castiel didnt notice how his body gave out, his knees easily supporting his descent to the ground. It was subconscious how he curled himself into a ball and listened as the love of his life cancelled plans with someone else, someone who Dean loved.

“Don’t give me that, alright? I’m not scared… I’m just… How am I supposed to say it? I’m gonna sound like an ass.” Dean’s words were so tender, so lost and desperate, that for a moment before Castiel realized the weight of it he felt bad for Dean.

He wanted to reach out and hold onto him, beg him to not leave, scream and plea until his soul was nothing but ash. Castiel wanted to grip onto Dean and shake him and demand why he wasnt good enough, why they couldnt have made each other happy and live together forever.

A clank from dishware broke the delicate tension in the air. “Because I said so! Look, forget I called you, ok? I can handle it. I’ll see you at the Roadhouse on wednesday, ok? We can talk more then about it.”

Castiel let the loneliness find it’s home in his chest. He stood up, too numb to feel him going through the motions. Standing in the hallway he listened for the goodbye, the farewell between lovers, before he tried to decide what his  next move was. Was there a next move? What was left in his desolate world now that he found himself where he was all those years ago.

“Yeah, yeah, I love you, too. Talk to you soon.”

Life’s weird isn’t it, Castiel thought to himself void of emotion, that in what feels like a blink of an eye everything is suddenly different.

It wasn’t until a light humming from the kitchen broke the silence did Castiel dare move. He stepped as quietly as he could from around the corner, his eyes falling immedietly on his boyfriends back. Tears erupted before he could stop them, flowed so violently that he lost his breath and choked.

Spinning around, Dean met his eyes. The surprised green soon turned worried and panicked. Dropping the spatula onto the skillet Dean rounded their island and started toward Cas with open arms. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

Just before they could come in contact Castiel shook his head and took a step back, the tears starting to soak his collar bone. With a heaving breath he curled his arms into his chest and tried so desperately to claw him way out of his panic.

“Cas? Hey, I’m right here. Talk to me. Breathe.” Dean’s voice was so broken, so loving that it was the final crack in Castiel’s resolve.

Clearing the tears from his vision, Cas looked into Dean’s eyes with no emotion. “I’ll be going to the market in a couple minutes. If you could pack your things before I get back I think that would be best.”

Dean coiled back as if struck. “Wh-what?”

“I don’t think we need to make it any bigger than it needs to be. I’m giving you the out. You don’t have to be so worried about telling me. Just leave.” Castiel turned his eyes downward and took a shuddering breath that burned the bottom of his lungs. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t enough.”

Dean Winchester stared at his boyfriend. Nothing came from his mouth though he tried to open it to get something out, to question why and to demand an answer to this sudden turn. Instead he stood there, in nothing but his own boxers and an apron, barefoot in their kitchen. He was too shocked to feel the way his entire world was collapsing around him.

“Please.” The word was broken and hitched falling from Cas’ lips. “Please, Dean, if you loved me at all during these few years you will just leave.”

“Why?” Finally his brain started to catch up to the situation. And though he wanted to be angry, angry that Castiel was doing this, he stayed calm. He took deep breaths and stayed calm because whatever was happening it couldnt be blown any farther out of proportion or there wasn’t going to be a possible fix.

Blue eyes soaked in heartbreak flicked up to meet defeaning green. “Because I love you and I can’t stand here and pretend that you didn’t fall in love with someone else.”

“What?!” Dean’s voice cracked from the pressure of the single word.

“I heard you.” Cas waved his arm toward the cell phone sitting on the counter. “Talking to your… your…”

“Brother?” Dean finished the sentence with a pointed look. “Just now? I was on the phone with Sammy.”

Castiel tilted his head as he met Dean’s eyes. “I listened to you make plans behind my back.”

Swallowing visibly, Dean wiped the back on his hand across his forehead. “Sweetheart, there’s a reason-”

“Right.” Castiel nodded, feeling anger flare up his spine. “You really want to lie to me, Dean Winchester?”

“No!” Dean shouted in frustration. “I’m not lying! I fucking love you and I haven’t so much as thought about being with anyone since I met you.”

His eyes drifting back to the phone, Castiel wanted to believe him, wanted to stop this now and hug him and live happily ever after. But that wasn’t life. It wasn’t life when his mother used to believe all his father’s lies. And it wasn’t life when he watched his brother be cheated on by multiple partners.

“Castiel.” Dean took a slow step toward his boyfriend. “I love you more than you’re letting yourself believe right now. And I know that you have issues with cheating and your self worth and so… I need to tell you. Even if we both regret it later. But, sweetheart…”

Fingers slid under his chin, a little force tilted his head so that he could see Dean right in front of him, their muggy breaths mixing between them. All Castiel could see was love, he felt as though he was drowning in it, sinking so low that he might never resurface.

“I’ve been carrying around a ring. I’ve been putting a little of my paycheck away toward it for about a year now. And this morning I called Sam because I have been killing myself over not finding the right moment to ask you. So I called him to ask how he asked Jess, and how he knew when the perfect moment would be.” Leaning forward slightly, Dean wrapped his other arm around Cas’ shoulders to bring them closer without losing eye contact. “I want to marry you, Cas. I want it to be just you and me forever if you’ll let me.”

Castiel’s face collapsed in a sob grimace as his shoulders started to shake and he threw himself against Dean’s chest. His body gave out as he cried and cried and let the waves of emotion roll through him. After minutes ticking by of Dean holding him and whispering to him and pressing kisses to his hair, Castiel finally pulled back.

With a shaky smile he whispered, “I want nothing more than to marry you.”

Dean’s lips turned up into a face splitting smile before he closed the distance between their lips.

Years later, in what feels like a blink of an eye, Castiel is standing in the hospital with his eyes trained on a small sleeping form wrapped in a pink blanket thinking that it feels like just yesterday he said ‘yes’ to a lifetime of happiness.

[dont-follow-me-im-scared]

My worst goodbye

Per my therapist request im "journaling" breakup I guess. I mean its been a long time coming but this time it was real and needed to this might be long but here goes:

The force,

I dont even know where to start so I'll start from the begining. The night I met you, when I walked into that bar I had no intention of meeting my soul mate. Yes soul mate. I never believed in them until I met you. But after 9 long years ive learned sometimes we meet our soul mate and we dont get to keep them. I had quite a bit to drink, see you didnt know this but I was 19 I just looked old enough to be there and I had gotten divorced a few months before my world would be forever rocked and changed. The night carried on the christmas air was no match for the drink and the long sleeve I had on. I removed layers the more I drank and I stayed close to the bar. This tall man with the bluest eyes id ever seen was taking care of my drink needs but young me saw a mountain I wanted to climb. I was informed you were married when the regulars realized my attention wasnt going anywhere but you. I flashed the bar (dumb kid is probably what you thought) but everyone in there knew it was for you. Hell I said I wouldnt do it unless you were there. The night carried on, my friends were restless trying to protect whatever modesty they felt I had that night. I wanted to go to the after party I was told youd be attending. They refused and wanted to get me home. Closing time was coming. I wrote my number on a napkin and waited. You went back towards the bathrooms and I knew somehow in my awe struck drunken stuper that was my chance. I walked back caught you right at the end of the hall. Do you remember what I said? I can. The words and moment is forever burned into my brain. "I can keep a secret". Slipped my number into your front pocket smooth as fuck. Which isnt me. But you know that right? Because after that night you saw sides of me no one was ever allowed to see. You saw me grow as a person and into a woman. That was the begining of the end. That singular moment with rumple on my breathe as I stood on my tip toes to lean as close to your ear as I could when I spoke those words. I took in how you smelled. I had no idea soon that smell would be my favorite and put my spirit at ease.

I woke up the next morning with a text from an unknown number. Then the conversation started. You filled in the parts of the night that wasnt clear. You made me nervous. A sensation that would never die down. Tuesday. She'll be at work. Dinner and hang out at the house? Sure. I bet you thought you were getting lucky that night. Not as lucky as I was going to be I guess. Because see even though this is a goodbye, and one thats tearing me apart I was so lucky to feel this. Not everyone gets to experience this with anyone in their entire life. You had a young child. Maybe 3 months I think. Timing in the universe is shitty like that. We sat on the couch. Me almost shaking with nerves but trying to keep my calm because I refused to look a fool in front of you. Do you remember what we watched? Big bang theory. And from then on anytime I saw an episode (I never watched it myself) my thoughts would gravitate back to that couch with you. Do you know how hard thats going to be on me now because that shows everywhere. I guess thats not your problem though. We didnt have sex. I was too nervous and I mean I felt like I was going to puke you made me so nervous. But there was a warmth. This tiny spark of a fire that was felt by me at least. We made out alot. But everytime you reached for my belt my gut screamed "No! Not yet" and ive never been one to ignore my gut. I left. I parked my car a few houses down. The late December air felt so cold against my face because my cheeks were burning like id be in the gym. This couldnt be real. I texted you when I got to the end of the street. "Im sorry I couldn't have sex with you I was so nervous if you dont want to meet up again i get it." I expected you to blow me off. I mean you are older and a bartender. I knew in my head what you were use to with women. I had only been with two people my whole life but you. You reeked experience. Then my phone did something that felt magical in the moment. It lit up with that text. That text reassuring me you wanted to see me again. The text that made me float the whole way home.

The visits became more frequent. Sex with you was amazing. You engulfed my body in what seemed like worship. Not one inch of me ignored. Hands and mouth just exploring the new territory. I was more adventurous. I wanted to make you happy in every way possible. Theres a need inside me to make sure youre happy. There's this new feeling like in a woman and not just some highschooler whos date is trying to get lucky. Theres a chemistry unmatched and indescribable in all honesty. It happened on the couch. The 2nd time I saw you. You carried my straddling body to your room all that was on was my unbutton jeans and your jeans. Your arms lifted me with such ease I gasped. I remember. See how much I remember. Your bedroom smelt like soap and the sheets smelled clean. The only light in the room was the green from the clock by your bed. Then before I knew it your mouth was where no other mans had been. You gave me a new experience I had been deprived of before. Then you were inside of me when I felt like my body was going to stop. Laying there after wards, your hands playing with my spine while we had small conversations in between sighs I considered if this could be forever. I knew right then you were different. I knew we were different. I knew there was something in my way but never desired to remove it. Your kiss at the front door when I was leaving had a longing. Like you didnt want to send me away. It was dark. The neighbors didnt know but as bright as I felt like I was shinning I wondered if they were peering out of the windows to see the source. Was any of this real for you? I dont think I want the answer because it was so real for me. This all sounds crazy. You're married and I knew but here I was.

It got to where id barley make it through your unlocked door without you scoping me up like youd waited all week to get your hands on me. The text in between visits didnt seem like enough any more. So I started doing what any logical in love person would do. I started getting hotel rooms and going to the bar on the weekends. I had to see you more. Hear your voice. See you smile at me from across that bar knowing I was picturing having you under me on every surface there. It made it fun right? Like we had a huge secret right in front of everyone. Including your sister in law who bartended with you some nights. It was a rush right? Knowing I was going to be in that weed infused hotel room half drunk mostly stoned in the see through black robe you love(d) so much. Knowing there was nothing between me and you but this thin fabric. Do you think people could see it on our faces? Your friends became mine because I was at the bar so often but none of them knew. Our conversations grew and we became friends who just happen to explode with this chemistry. It was more than what it had been but that was the most itd ever be. Remember the Halloween you dressed at a 20s gangster. Remeber the red dress i rushed into the bar in on new years eve so I could kiss you by midnight. Do you remember taking me in your arms around my waist and kissing me in front of everyone? I'll never forget because that was a moment where I thought this is how it could be. I met you for lunches. I met you at quicktrips for a five minute visit. Boyfriends came and went but you never left. I kept you around. Remember the apartments down the street I moved into so I could be closer. You whistling while I was waiting at my open front door. That smile. You nuzzling me after on the balcony while i smoked. I hated you had to leave me every time. You lingered in my door hesitant to walk away. The good thing about me living so close is you got to spend more time with me.

I stated you were my soul mate. I mean it. I have forever missed my chance with the one person I truly believe was made for me. All because a year of timing. You told me so many times had it not been for your baby youd leave. I believed you. I love my husband and my daughter but no one will ever light the fire you did inside me and still do. Which is why I need to walk away. Youre a source of confusion in my life. I cant allow myself to question if my relationships right because I dont have the feeling I did with you. Does that make me bad? I dont think so. I love him and dont want to hurt him which is why I have to do this. Cutting an imprint with you is one of the hardest things ive had to do but hurting him would be harder. I'll never forget a million things about you. Memories with you. I honestly hope you'll never forget me. I wish I could tell my daughter about you one day and how she never needs to settle unless someone makes her feel like you made me feel.

Love always

Youre biggest fan.

[kweebtrash]

Dom(me)s Aren’t Built In a Day: Johnny Vers. (M)

Pairing: Johnny X Reader

Features: Choking/Breath play, restraints, spanking/paddling, cock rings, Switch!Johnny, bratty behavior, oral sex/69, light scratching/biting, rough sex, established relationship and some fluffy shit because i couldn’t resist

Genre: Slight Angst, Smut.

Word Count: 7.3k

A/N: So I kinda got carried away with this one. And i was going to make Johnny a sub all the way but the story took it’s own course. Anon I really hope you like this because i love it! I’m so much better writing kink than fluff lol. Thanks Anon <3

DABIAD Mini Series Masterlist

My hands slid underneath the hem of his shirt, feeling the warm skin and firm muscles underneath. I dug my nails in ever so slightly when his hand grabbed my ass forcing me closer to his body. I sighed softly into his kiss, wanting more and hungry to feel him deeper.

“You wanna go to the bedroom?” I smirked as i laid open mouth kisses on his neck.

“I guess…”

He guessed?? “What do you mean you guess?”i asked.

He shrugged and diverted his eyes. “If you wanna…”

“Well it's not really consensual if you dont want to.”

“I'll do it for you.”

I pushed Johnny off of me and got up from the couch. “Just say you fuckin’ dont want to. Damn.”

It had been like this. For weeks now. Apathetic, mediocre. Trying to get a groove back that seemed to have faded already. We had been dating for almost a whole year now, and when it first began it was like we set the whole world ablaze. Every moment with him was ecstatic and filled me with feelings of lust, love, and happiness all at once. Yet lately it seemed like he didn't even want to touch me. I was shocked when he initiated the make out session, even a little turned on to be grinding on the couch like horny teenagers. But even that little bit of a spark disappeared within minutes. And now I knew for sure that he was just doing it to try and please me. Not that him rutting unenthusiastically into me made it feel good.

I had plenty of thoughts running through me head. Was he cheating? Did he fall out of love with me? Was he sick? Medical issue? Depression? He wasn't talking to me and that made me even more worried. How did we even get to this point?

I went over to his bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. A few moments later he was in the doorway, hands shoved deep into his pockets. “I'm sorry…” He said quietly. He was hiding behind his dark brown bangs, shyer than he normally was.

“What is going on with you? You're never like this and you wont talk to me about anything! When did that start happening?” i let out a frustrated sighed as my mind went to that place again. “Are you….are you cheating on me?”

Johnny’s head snapped up instantly. “What? No! Fuck no! I would never. Why would you think that?”

“I DONT KNOW! You’re not talking! Tell me what's going on then!” i couldn't help the angered tone in my voice.

“It's nothing! Nothing's wrong i just…” He shrugged. “I guess I'm in a funk or something. I don't know. I was hoping it would go away but it hasn't.” He rubbed the back of his neck and groaned. “Dont worry about it ok? I'll figure it out.”

“Figure it out…” I scoffed. “So you've been ‘figuring it out’ by yourself for weeks and you've become reclusive and it feels like you're repulsed by me.”

“Don't be so fucking dramatic. I'm not repulsed by you. Nothing wrong with you. Just let me do this by myself.”

“Fine.” I got up from the bed and pushed past him. “You can call me whenever you ‘figure it out’.” i rushed to grab my bag and keys from by the couch and went over to the door.

“Yeah, thanks for being understanding!!” He screamed after me. “Selfish ass!!”

I guess I was being selfish. It wasn't really about the sex...part of it was of course but what the hell was he hiding? I had spent various nights crying, going days without a call or text, even though he was posting his photography on instagram. It seemed like he was going on without me. That was until one night he finally broke the silent vow that had manifested between us.

“I'm sorry. I really wanna see you. I miss you.” i heard him breathe into the phone.

“Are you drunk?” i sighed.

“Yeah but it's fine. I know what i'm saying. Come over.”

“I'm not going over while you're drunk. Where even are you?” I could hear loud noises in the background and people screaming over each other.

“Out. Please. Meet me at my place. You still have the key dont you?”

“Yeah but-”

“Let me fuck you.”

No. That was bad. Very very very bad. And i should not go over there. I got up and grabbed my keys, swiftly putting on my shoes and making a terrible decision.

When i got to his place he was already pushing me against the door, his mouth overwhelming mine and hands roaming everywhere. I was clawing at his clothes, practically tearing them away. He looked amazing. Tight jeans that accentuated his firm ass, black shirt that was now tossed aside and heated muscles that drove me to open my legs instantly. He grabbed my arm and dragged me to the bedroom, pushing me onto the bed and crawling on top of me. My breaths were coming out so hard that my lungs were starting to burn. The only thing i could think about was him making me cum. Just please make me cum. Ive missed you so much, Johnny. So much.

I couldnt say what i was thinking. I was too busy pulling him closer to the heat between my thighs, wanting to ride his face until the sun came up. My hand was digging into his scalp while his were on my breasts, squeezing and kneading as he rained kisses over my lower stomach. I shoved off my sweatpants and panties, eliciting a growl from his hungry lips. “Fuck Johnny….please.”

He grabbed my hips with a smirk, yanking me towards him and moving up to swallow my lips again in sinful twists and turns of his tongue. “I'll get to you in a minute, baby i promise.”

I whimpered wantonly. “Don't keep me waiting. Ive missed you so much.”

He licked my lips and groaned. “Fuck, me too. You feel so damn good and i'm not even inside you yet.” He trailed his lips to my neck biting down hard against the sensitive skin as his denim clad cock ground into my center. My hands raked up his back, stopping right at the base of his neck. I arched into him, returning the rolls of his hips as gasps of pleasure fell from me. “Choke me.”

I stopped then and there. “What?”

“Choke me. For the love of god, fuckin’ choke me.” He took my hand in his, placing it on his neck as his eyes sealed shut, waiting.

I pulled away, sitting up slightly. “Johnny! That's dangerous!”

“No, it"s fine. Please just do it. It'll get me off.”

My eyes went wide and i scrambled away from him. “I-i cant do that. That's just…”

“Why not? It's easy. Just do it.”

“You could stop breathing! I'm not gonna kill you.”

“Exactly! It wont kill me! You're not gonna hurt me. Just…” He looked at me, eyes dark and pleading.

“I cant. Im sorry. I...i knew this was a bad idea. I have to go.” i quickly grabbed my pants and pulled them on. He didnt even try to stop me. He just sat there, head hung low and hand clenched around the sheets. I rushed out of there fast, my heart still racing with nervousness. I had never been asked that before and for Johnny to even suggest that...was that what he was wanting before? Why he was so distant? I just...i couldn't do that to him no matter how badly he wanted it. My heart hurt now...maybe we werent exactly made for each other after all.

--

A month had passed and we still were barely talking. I wasnt ready to move on but...maybe it was time. He was on my mind everyday and i also continuously wondered if maybe he had found someone else. Someone who could do what he wanted. We had arranged to meet at his place again. I was going to get my things and probably break it off for good. As I drove to his apartment i willed myself not to start crying. I had to be strong. This was for the best. Maybe not for me but maybe for him. In my head I tried to convince myself that I wanted him to be happy even if it was with someone else. But it wasn't really working.

When i got to the front door and knocked there was no answer. He knew I was coming...he had to be home. I sent him a text and waited. Minutes passed and still no answer. I still had the key to his place -i had planned to give it back to him today- but i didnt want to burst in there. It seemed rude now since we were so distant. But he still wasn't answering. I reluctantly set the key in the lock and went inside. The place was dark, there was only a dim light coming from his bedroom. “Johnny?” I called out.

Still no response. Now i was starting to get worried. I went over to his bedroom, the door wide open, and i could see him lying in bed fully naked with his cock in his fist. His laptop was beside him and his headphones in his ears which would explain why he hadn't heard anything. My face was bright red and i panicked. I had no idea if I should stop him or not. I almost didn't want to. He looked so...damn good. The way his chest was rising and falling, his legs tensing and hips bucking with each pass of his hand over the tip of his cock. I dared to step a little closer to him and i noticed the video that was playing on his laptop. Of course it was porn but stuff that we had never watched together. The man was tied up, rope decorating his skin in intricate patterns, his mouth gagged shut and a blindfold over his eyes. There were marks all over his backside, most likely the branding from the tall amazonesque women dressed in latex behind him. She was holding a thin rod of what looked like maybe wood in her gloved hands and he was begging her for more. She complied, landing another hard whip from the cane making him cry out. When the wood landed on skin, Johnny's body tensed, his breath hiccuping for a moment before he licked the dryness from his lips. His cock was leaking now, the sound of wet skin on skin coming to my ears.

I swallowed hard and reached out to him, setting my hand on his sweat slicked chest. His eyes shot open and he jumped up quickly, yanking the headphones out his ears and slamming the laptop shut. “Jesus!! Dont you knock!?” he pulled a pillow over his lap and glared up at me.

“I did!! I knocked, i texted you, and i called out to you! You're the one with headphones jacking off to…that stuff…”

His face flushed a bit and he got up from him bed trying to making his way over to his bathroom. “Why are you here?!”

“We agreed for me to come over and get my stuff! Don't you remember?”

He groaned. “Shit...that was today?”

“I thought that's what we said!” i shifted my feet a bit. “Sorry, i came in with the key. I didnt want to but you didnt answer and...well…”

He pushed his hair back briefly wiping the sweat from his forehead. “It's fine...it's my fault. Um…” He looked down at the pillow that he was clutching tighter. “I'm gonna uh...you know.”

“Finish?”

“What?! N-no! I mean not while you're here now! That's like...weird.” He said.

“Why? I mean I know why but i've seen your dick like...hundreds of times.”

“Yeah but we're…”

“What are we exactly?” I asked.

He looked down at his feet. “I dont know. I thought you hated me.”

“Hate? No! I thought that...i thought a lot of things. I thought you didnt want to be with me because i was scared to choke you. I thought that maybe sex was that important to you and then it made me feel like shit.”

“i felt like shit when you thought it was weird. And i'm sorry about the choking thing. Me being drunk and springing it on you wasn't the best way to go about it. I'm glad we didn't have sex that night.” He replied.

“Me too.” i nodded before glancing back at his laptop. “I really miss you Johnny. Like it hurts so bad to not be around you. And if...this stuff is important to you i'm willing to at least try it.”

His eyes snapped up to me. “R-really? You really don't have to. I dont want to make you uncomfortable. I guess this is what we’re struggling with anyway.”

“I am uncomfortable but...maybe you can teach me and we can try stuff?” I nibbled my lip a bit. “You looked really hot listening to it...just saying.”

He let out a soft chuckle. “Thanks...um…” He leaned in a bit placing a soft kiss on my lips. I smiled and looked up at him.

“So do I spank you and call you a bad boy now?”

He nodded. “That would be kinda nice.”

“Do I say mean things to you?” I asked fumbling over the thoughts in my head and just spitting them out.

“No, i'm not into degradation, just control. Or lack thereof. You're in control. You command me essentially.”

“Command you?” I thought for a moment. “Like get on your knees and eat me out?”

“Right now?” He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

I cleared my throat. “If you dont i'll...spank you.”

He smiled which made me cover my face. “Im sorry! I'm trying!”

“No, no. It's okay. I appreciate it. You're so cute.”

I set my face in his chest, trying to hide my embarrassment. “Am i supposed to sound scary? Like how am I supposed to do it?”

He kissed the top of my head. “Not for nothing but we can watch some stuff together. Its a bit exaggerated but you'll get the gist of it.”

“Watch porn...together?”

“Nothing more romantic, am i right?” He laughed and nodded towards his bed. “C’mon.”

I took off my sweatshirt and jeans, tossing them away with my shoes and climbed into bed with him. He sat up against his headboard, setting the laptop on the pillow and opening it back up.

“Ok,” I held onto his arm and exhaled. “Let do this.”

--

Oh god. I could see why he wanted this so bad. Never in my life had i seen anything so lustful and sensual than my small hands wrapped around Johnny's throat. His full lips were parted, only being able to let out small raspy gasps as his chest tried to compensate for the lack of air. I held his life in my hands, which in of itself was the most powerful thing i had ever felt. My thumbs pressed into his adams apple and his hand instantly grabbed the top of the headboard to steady himself while i rode his cock like I was never going to see him again. And when he came -Jesus- when he came it was like a whole new world had opened and we were the only ones in it. My whole body tensed, convulsed, clenched around him as his cum filled me. He had arched against me, making my nails dig into his skin before he tapped my wrist quickly. I let go instantly and he gasped in air in huge gulps, coughing just a bit.

“A-are you o-okay?” i stammered as i still felt my legs shaking on either side of his hips.

He nodded, coughing into his elbow and struggling to regain his breath. I bit my lip now worried that i had done something wrong. “Johnny!”

He waved me off, giving me a thumbs up before he finished his coughing fit. “FUCK!” he wiped the back of his mouth. “Damn...that was-”

“Did it hurt? Are you ok? I'm sorry, God i’m so sorry. I was caught up in the-”

He interrupted me like i had done to him except it was with a hard kiss. He pulled me down to him, kissing me deeply and desperately. When he pulled away I was almost lightheaded from the intensity. “You're amazing. Like...incredibly amazing.”

“You've never cum like that before. I um…” I looked down at our bodies still connected and the bit of stickiness that was slowly sliding out of me. “It was a lot...and really….wow.”

“Yeah...wow is...one way to describe it. Can we do it again?” He smirked.

“Right now? Are you sure? I think I marked your neck though.” I blushed.

He bit his lip in his charmingly awkward way. “Hell. Yes.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pushed me down to the bed, attacking my neck and chest with kisses and bites making me giggle.

“Johnny! Wait!” I squirmed beneath him, trying to still his nibbles and licks. Him laughing against my neck tickled even more until I was almost in tears. “Stop!” He didn't, even when i begged but an idea popped into my head amidst my giggles. I landed a hard smack against his ass using as much force as i could given my position beneath him. He stopped instantly, clutching my sides roughly. “When I say stop what do you think that means?”

“Stop, ma'am.”

“Ma'am?” I mulled it over. I didn't think I was a Mistress or Mommy or Queen or anything just yet. Besides some of those titles still made me squeamish.

“Would you want me to call you something else?” he asked, head still bowed and buried in my neck.

“No. I like that. Say it again.”

“Yes ma'am.”

I smirked feeling the sense of power return. “Good boy. I think you should bend over now.”

--

~2 years later~

“Why are you mad at me? You're the one who walked out on me!” Johnny yelled once we got into our shared apartment.

“Because I don't like public proposals and you did it right in front of everyone!”

“It was a surprise engagement party!”

“I still dont like that! It puts me on the spot and it makes me have anxiety and it forces me to say yes!”

“So you dont want to say yes?” He looked at me confused and full of hurt.

“No, i mean...i just...can i think about it?!”

“Think about it? We've been together for so long already! What is there to think about?!”

“I dont know! I mean...divorce rates, family shit, insurance, an entire fucking wedding that we cant afford! A stupid dress that i'm only going to wear once and costs like a quarter of my college debt.”

“And all of that was enough to make you walk out on me? Really?”

“I just have to think about it, ok?!”

“Think about it on the couch then.” He walked into our bedroom-the one that used to belong to him and only him- and slammed the door shut. I sighed, angrily kicking off my heels and plopping down on the sofa. My arms crossed as my stubbornness was kicking in. I wasnt apologizing. I hated crowds and when he got down on one knee in front of our friends my anxiety went into over drive and i panicked. I had run outside, my emotions a terrible melting pot of odds and ends. I didnt come back to the party. It ended horribly. That was when we drove home in a tense silence that had exploded as soon as we stepped foot into our home.

I thought back to the first year of our relationship. How hot and cold we were because of all the changes we were going through. It was so distant and painful. I didnt want to go through that again. That was when the giddiness hit. He had proposed, completely unexpected and while i almost had an anxiety attack at our surprise engagement party….he had actually proposed. Like PROPOSED. I covered my face with my hands and felt the heat rising all the way to the tips of my ears. I never thought that would happen ever. It hadnt even crossed my mind before. I was so focused on building my business and living our life as a couple who lived together that I hadnt thought that far. A piece of paper and a ring wouldnt change how i felt about him but he had clearly thought it through. Enough to do a party after all.

Oh Johnny. This is why even though I controlled you, you had me wrapped around your finger tight.

I got up and unzipped my form hugging dress, stepping out of it and kicking it out the way. I went over to the bedroom, knocking gently before stepping in. He ignored me, opting to keep his eyes glued to his phone. His blazer was strewn on the bed, tie and top buttons of his shirt undone, sleeves rolled up to his elbows while his hair escaped the hold his pomade had on it. “Johnny…” I called out softly.

His thumb flicked over the phone screen, his eyes following the scrolling blue and white masses of texts and photos. I crawled onto the bed and sat behind him, rubbing my hands over his shoulder. He smacked them away quickly. “Dont.”

“I'm sorry.” I began, placing a kiss on the back of his neck. “I didn't mean to upset you. I panicked.” I wrapped my arms around his ribcage and held him tight.

He sighed and set his phone on the night stand. “Do you really not want to get married? Honestly i'll return the damn ring and get myself a camera.”

I turned his face towards mine and kissed his full lips gently. “Let me think about it ok? Please?” I didn't give him much of a chance to respond as i deepened the kiss little by little, pushing him back onto the bed. He let out a small grunt and i assumed it was because he was mad at himself for being persuaded so easily. But i've always had that effect on him. While our tongues were clashing with one another i drew my hand up to his neck, gently running my hands over one of his most sensitive areas. He jerked at the touch at first, knowing what it meant and the possibilities for the night. He pulled away ever so slightly, his warm breath coating my lips as he panted.

“Ma'am?” he asked tentatively.

“Mhm…” I nodded in response, letting the switch set off between us as our dynamics changed. He wasn't just my sweet, loving, awkwardly goofy boyfriend anymore. He was my pet, my submissive- the one who catered to my every desire to enact my power over him, to see him crumble beneath me, begging helplessly.

“I'm still mad at you.” He said softly.

“I know.” I gripped his neck, adding pressure right against his adam's apple. His breath stilled for a moment as i slid my legs over his lap, straddling him. “That's why I'm making it up to you. Or at least trying to. Will you let me?”

His hand fell to my hip which he squeezed twice-our signal for yes. I smiled down at him dragging my eyes to the tie that hung loosely from his neck. Improvise. I let go of his throat momentarily- much to his dismay- and undid the tie. The shirt came next, a slow tease of testing his patience as I undid each button placing kisses on each new exposed area of skin. I untucked the shirt from his pants, opening a new area across his stomach to litter with kisses and a few harsh bites just to keep him on his toes. He was usually a quiet sub until he started begging and only let out a few hisses when i bit into him. My eyes drifted up to him- he was watching me intensely, wondering where i would go next- before looking down at the zipper of his dress pants.

I ignored it for now, shuffling down to remove his shoes and socks instead. He was shifting in the bed, fingers flexing around the bed sheets as he became raptured by every move I was making. I suppose it did help that i was in nothing but a sheer bra and panty set. I had planned that way before our fight, thinking we would have a chance to slip away in the middle of the party, but at least my plan came back around full circle. “Now dont move. Stay right where i left you.” I commanded before I left him in the bed and retreated to our closet. Behind all the clothes and totes and shoes was our little box of secrets- well, over the years the size of the box had increased as our collection grew and we learned how one another worked. I pulled it out, rifling through the goodies to find exactly what i was looking for. When i turned back to the bed Johnny had removed his shirt and unzipped his pants which instantly made my brow furrow.

“Did I ask you to do that?” i gripped the base of the paddle i now had in my hand tighter.

He licked his lips and swallowed hard. “N-no but I thought-”

“You thought...huh. last time I checked your job isnt to think, it's to do what i say.” I bound over to him, grabbed the tie from the bed and pinned his wrists together, securing them in a bowline knot, making sure it was tight enough that his big hands wouldn't slip through. “On your knees. Now.”

“Yes ma'am.” He shifted onto his hands and knees, ass raised in the air. I always loved seeing him like this. Especially because his ass was so cute, even cuter when covered in bruises and hand marks too.

“Hold onto the headboard and dont move.”

He followed my order while i yanked his dress pants down along with his black boxer briefs, exposing him completely. I bit my lip, trying to stifle my giggle as i still saw faint traces of the bruises I had left on him a couple weeks ago. He was definitely due for some more. I picked up the paddle once more, turning it over and running my fingers over the leather that covered it and the icy steel grommets along the edges. I could see his shoulder blades tensing in anticipation, making his back muscles ripple. God, he looked so good. I stepped a bit closer to him, rearing my hand back and landing a hard slap across his cheeks with the paddle. He pursed his lips together, trying to suppress a groan from deep within his chest.

“What was that?” i asked, rubbing the leather across the bright red sting.

“N-nothing ma'am.” He replied through grit teeth as his head dipped.

“You know i prefer you quiet unless your begging, right?”

“Yes ma'am.” i watched his fingers grip the headboard tighter and smirked.

I brought the paddle down again for another loud thwack. His entire body lurched forward, his ankles crossing over each other sending the tension to his calves. There was no sound from him except his heavy breathing that was slowly starting to shift into raggedness. I switched from using the paddle to rub against him to my hands, trailing my nails over the burning skin. The light scratches were enough to make him squirm, his stomach dipping towards the mattress. I dragged my nails up the base of his tailbone trailing all the way up his spine. I heard the faintest of curses under his breath which made me chuckle. I pressed my index and middle finger under his chin and tilted his head up towards me. “You're purposefully being a brat now arent you?”

His eyes were hooded, long lashes fluttering as his lips parted to say something but he thought better of it. “If you think this is your punishment then you've got another thing coming, baby boy. Trust me i've got something much worse planned for you.”

I dropped my touch from him and slithered back to the box grabbing the thing he loved to hate the most. It was small and simple yet dangerous and carried the weight of torture within its expanding walls. I grabbed the girth of his hips and yanked him back to me. Johnny complied until my hands were over his semi soft cock, sliding on the cock ring over his shaft, making a slight twist in the silicone to wrap around his balls as well. “What?! No!” He hissed.

“Ooh, you're back talking me today too? I definitely won't be taking it easy on you now.” I pressed a heated kiss against his neck, kissing up to his ear before biting against his earlobe. “Get back into position.”

He nodded meekly, returning his hands to the headboard. Now he knew he was in punishment territory and there wasn't any turning back. I may have wanted to make it up to him so he wouldn't be mad at me but there was still a teensy part of me that was angry that he embarrassed me and sent me into a panic. I gave him no warning, mimicking the way he sprung that loaded question me, and slammed the paddle into him again. The indentation of the grommets were starting to form on his skin like fiery o's. I gave him little room to breathe within the next few hits, making sure every inch of his backside was covered in some sort of sordid mark. He was holding up better than he normally did though his knuckles were white and tensed around the headboard. His toes were digging into the sheets as he rocked himself slowly, trying to ease off the heavy burn in his flesh. I propped myself by the headboard, setting the paddle on the nightstand “Hi honey,” I said in a bit of a mocking tone. He lifted his head, eyes falling on me instantly. “You ok?”

He could only groan, a bit of irritation and aggravation hidden within. “Hmm just...peachy.”

I looked down between his legs at his newly formed erection that was already struggling against the cock ring. I giggled and pet his hair back gently, narrowly escaping his teeth as he attempted to bite me.

“Oohh, my baby boy's feisty. Should i just leave you here like this for another hour? Not even touching you? Or maybe i should make you watch me touch myself while you stay trapped in this cock ring.” His eyes lowered into angry slits but he said nothing. “Or I could touch you...edge you...make you scream your begs until your lungs burn? Yeah. I think i like the sound of that more.”

Johnny pursed his lips together hard. His mind was working on processing the upcoming plans and possibly on a way to give me the cold shoulder later on while i got to work on tossing his pants off completely and shoving him against the headboard. I swung my legs over his hips, getting into our favorite position. He looked up at me, his still bound hands freezing right before he attempted to touch me. He knew he was teetering on a fine line and wasn't going to push it just yet. I grabbed his hands and pinned them above his head while my hips hovered above his straining cock. His eyes stayed locked onto the small gap of space between our heat waiting for the first brush of contact. I let him have it, gliding the mesh fabric of my panties over his cock, circling my hips slightly when my clit met his head.

Johnny swallowed back a gasp biting his lip hard to keep himself steady. I fell into a slow and easy rhythm of rocking my hips against him, the thin fabric between us adding just a bit more friction and sending my nerves ablaze. I was focusing on rubbing my clit against his head, feeling his pre cum seep onto his stomach. The grip i had on his wrists tightened, my breath becoming a rough staccato. Meanwhile, Johnny was trying to increase the painful grind, digging his hips up into me. “Please…”

God, that perfect little beg always drove me crazy. He knew it to. Hed pout out his full lips, lick them so they'd glisten and entice me more and toss his head back, exposing his neck for choking, biting or both. And just when i would let go of his wrist hed try and touch me. I knew his game and he wasn't going to win this time. “Please? Please what, Johnny? Use your words.” I sunk my teeth into his neck, pulling blood to the surface and creating a deep mark. He arched up against me, letting out a soft hiss that turned into a strangled groan. I edged my hips up his torso, letting his cockhead press ever so slightly against my entrance.

“Fuck! Please, baby…let me fuck you.”

“Hmm, absolutely not.” I lowered my head to lick at his lips, tracing my tongue over his top lip and giving it a sweet kiss. He reached his tongue out to meet mine, sucking it slowly into his mouth and humming around it. I pulled away just to tease him and he arched his head towards mine, lips parted and willing to accept another kiss. I let go of one of his wrists-being sure to keep a tight grip on the tie- and wrapped my hand around his neck, keeping him pinned to the headboard. A faint whimper escaped him.

“Please ma'am, i'll be good to you. You just-” he tried reach for my kiss again but i tightened my hold on his throat. “You just…” He swallowed back and i could feel the struggle against my palm. “Untie me a-and I can-”

“Quiet. Im gonna make you put your mouth to better use.” I wiggled away from him, sliding my panties off as Johnny excitedly slid down so his head rested on the pillow. I resumed my position on him, my knees now on either side of his head. “Get to work, brat.”

He nodded and pressed his lips against my heat, already prying his tongue through my folds as he growled hungrily against me. He swirled his tongue against my clit before sucking it fully into his mouth. My head fell back and i closed my eyes reveling in the hot wet sucks and kisses he gifted me with. I edged myself forward commanding his tongue to flick into my eager hole. I wanted some form of release myself. Seeing him tied up and spanking him always made my hormones rush into overdrive. I was trying to stay strong but the way he was drinking down every bit of my slick heat had my thighs quivering. I shifted my hips into quick bounces, making sure he would dig his tongue into me, that was until i felt it disappear. I looked down at him angrily. “Did I tell you to stop?”

“N-no ma’am but...a-ahh it hurts.” I rolled my eyes and looked back at his cock that was making a mess all over his stomach. It was bright red and aching, crying out for attention. “Please? Just a little?” He gave my lower lips a few tender kisses, his chocolate brown puppy dog eyes getting to me. I grumbled angrily and accepted his little conquest before adjusting myself so my stomach pressed against his chest in a sixty-nine.

I lapped at the precum that had settled between the grooves of his abs, trying to hide the coy little moan i let out as soon as i tasted him. I trailed my tongue up to his slit, digging the tip in just enough to get him squirming. Meanwhile, my nails raked along his shaft, tracing veins that pulsated with each tantalizing stroke. Johnny pressed his hips up, just a minimal inch, trying to get me to take him into my mouth and i gave in. My lips wrapped around his head enveloping him in heated pulls. I felt his fingers wrap around my ass, pulling me closer while his thumbs spread my hole wide. His tongue resumed its rightful place inside me carving out patterns against my walls.

I swallowed hard around him, trying to get my mind to focus on his torture when all i could really think about was my pleasure. I rocked myself slowly, my mouth slurping him down each time i went forward and his tongue disappearing inside me when i went back. His deep moans were vibrating against my lips making me clench around him and i returned the sentiment. His cock throbbed against my palm as i stroked what i couldnt fit in my mouth edging him even further. My free hand slipped between this thick thighs to grab at his balls giving him a rough squeeze. His hips jerked roughly slamming his cock to the back of my throat and i harshly landed a slap against him before pulling away. “Johnny.” I growled.

He let out a deep groan as more precum leaked from his slit. I bit at his thigh harshly, gripping his balls even tighter. He cursed against my folds and his nails dug into me. He called out to me, my title thrown away, as he pleaded for me to release him. I glared back at him.

“You want it bad don't you? You're a mess baby boy.” I said. “You want this gone?” I tugged at the ring of silicone that was suffocating him. He nodded profusely, wiping away the sweat that beaded across his forehead.

“Please….” He whispered huskily. I bit my lip as his deep voice cut right through me. I undid the tie and carefully eased off the cock ring from around him. He let out a sigh of relief before covering my back and shoulders with kisses. “Thank you. Hmm...can i fuck you now ma'am?”

“You better make up for you being an impatient brat.”

“Maybe you can make up for being such a shithead then.” He chuckled.

Before i could even argue he pushed me flat on my back, my head dangling off the edge of the bed. Any protest i was going to make dissolved into a loud cry as i felt his swollen cock shove into me. My walls stretched and swallowed him down greedily. He wasted no time in slamming into me over and over creating a swirling fire in the pit of my stomach. My hands reached for him, wanting to pull him closer to me but he pinned them to my side. From over the swell of my breasts i could see him watching every movement my body made beneath him. Though he had a crushing grip on my wrists my fingers dug into the sheets trying to find a way to stabilize myself. “F-fuck! Johnny!!” I cried as my back arched against him.

He had never been this hungry for me before. Begging, whiny, and submissive yes but this was...I wanted more. I wrapped my legs around his waist, digging my heels into his lower back as i panted out my own pleads. Johnny finally blessed me with heavy kisses on my neck pairing it with slithering licks. I turned my head towards his trying to capture his lips but he pulled away quickly as if i had burned him. “No.”

No? My eyes narrowed. “What do you mean no?! Give me my kiss.”

“Now who's being a brat?” He smirked. His hips were slamming into me even harder. I could hear the harsh slapping of skin on skin that mixed in with his heavy pants and groans. I tried wiggling out of his grasp but it was no use. Blood was rushing to my head making my entire body feel like it was floating. I could hear my heart thundering in my ears, pouding louder and louder to match each of Johnny's thrusts that dug into me. I arched against him, my body begging for him to aim towards my spot. Just when the head of his cock brushed against the place i desired most he pulled away and i almost screamed. He was testing me and possibly this was his way of getting revenge on me too.

He flipped me over pressing me face down, ass up, his hand gripping the back of my neck firmly. When he reinserted himself into me i felt every pleasure point ignited. My eyes rolled back as my mouth stayed in a permanent moan, my fingers digging into the edge of the mattress. My ass rocked back against him as i felt my impending orgasm approaching. He was relentless and unending and i felt like i was going to snap in half at any minute. The pressure he was putting on my neck strangled my breathing, my chest struggling to expand but it drove me wild. I could finally feel what he had felt; the feeling of abandoning control, of trusting someone so deeply and feeling your entire body slipping away to a space of heightened pleasure.

And as my explosive orgasm hit me i sunk my teeth into the edge of the bed, screaming my sins out. A rush of heat seeped inside me as Johnny bottomed me out with a final thrust. His grip loosened on my neck but i didnt move. It was like i was frozen against him. I felt him place kisses against me, crawling up to my face where he hovered above me so i wouldnt be crushed under his tall frame. “You okay?”

“Yeah….yeah…”

“You sure?” i felt his bangs brush against my shoulder as he kissed my cheek. I nodded and swallowed hard. We shifted slowly so we laid on our backs beside each other staring up at the ceiling as our breaths returned to normalcy.

“So….” he said.

“So…”

“I think i might be a switch.”

“I think i might be ready to marry you.”

We both looked at each other quizzically having said two completely different statements at the same time.

“What?” we said again before laughing.

He turned onto his said to face me. “Did you say you're ready to marry me?”

“Maybe.” I buried my face in his chest, trying to avoid looking at him. “What's this shit about you wanting to switch?!”

“Dont change the subject!” He pulled me away from him forcing me to look up. “You serious?”

“Yeah….i mean if you want to be a switch and do...all of the shit you just did now you damn right we're getting married.” I said.

“So you're just in it for the sex, huh?” He nudged me playfully.

I cupped his face in my hands. “Of course not. I have to deal with you tripping over your own feet, and constantly recording me or taking unflattering photos of me, and you whining when i have to fix your photography website because you messed up the html code yet again, and you sending me cryptic messages because you don't know how to send a text without it sounding ominous. And if i hated all of that i would've left you by now. But the dick is a plus.”

“Ehh, you're pretty decent yourself.” He smiled at me. “Especially when you're getting fucked out from behind.” he placed a slow heated kiss on my lips, teasing me with licks and pulling away like i had done to him. “You'd make a cute sub.”

“Easy now, hotshot. I didn't get the hang of it instantly and you definitely wont either. Doms aren't built in a day you know.”

“I know that but-” His hand wrapped around my neck, his thumb tilting my head up to his. “I'm gonna have fun learning.”