#i was trying to find a scene to sub but the dialogues are all dangerously stupid lmao so yeah. no.

[gunsatthaphan]

#bold.

[problematicpervertpod]

recs on recs on recs

Yaoi/Manga I’m reading/have read. Please support the artists on official websites. If you have recs or want to chat about any of these get in my messages right the fuck now my dudes. Also spoilers, also this probably doesn’t make sense to anyone but me, also I think I’m funny sorry in advance.

Dangerous Convenience Store

Tags: Ongoing, self aware lead for the most part, gangs, smut, love triangle, possessive, not rapey, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, college, age gap, good art, muscular bodies, seme is adorable/romantic in sp chapters, sexual awakening, meeting the gang (in two ways!), FAINTS OF CUTENESS/HOTNESS, the memes after every chapter got me gagged, HAHE hahahahahahahahahaha, OMG DO I GET SOME CNC?! (update: short lived), we stan a vocal man (Ahjussi), thigh fucking, my mans be like my thighs hurt fuck my ass instead DECEASED, ass smacking, these memes are so good god damnit, rimming

8/10, I live for Ahjussi (Am I spelling this wrong..)

The New Employee 

-love love love

Tags: ongoing, we stan supportive boyfriends, healthy relationship, boss/employee, smut, office setting, good art, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Love Shuttle

Tags: completed, ABO, enemies to lovers, possessive, coworkers, fake relationship, strong omega, the art sucks but I like the story, art gets better after the 1st season, alphas eyes change colors when happy/anxious, muscular bodies, 7/10, update 10/10 art is meh but fml this storyline is basic af in the best way and it’s the fluff/smut I need, when you’re caught by the folks *cringe*

Hold Me Tight

Tags: ongoing, boss/employee, bodyguard, gio can’t feel heat until felix comes along, uke is strong af, horny bastards, smut, possessive, tragic childhood, moving in together right away, rich seme, felix in a bunny costume though *heart eyes*, dialogue is great, rape in a technical sense but the vibe is written like both characters are all good after? Ex. hospital scene…dub con, ART IS GREAT, hand holding during sex, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Yours to Claim 

Tags: ongoing, love triangle, Dom/sub dynamics, smut, main is big switch energy, reincarnation, jealousy, manipulative, possessive, self aware lead for the most part, toxic af, GREAT ART, college, rich semes, 10/10 will re-read and not even finished, SONOFABITCH that cliff hanger!! Season 3 come thruuuu (I have to wait until November? *cries* BUT MAH LOVE TRIANGLE!!, I want a THROUPLE GOD DAMN IT

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

Tags: obsessed with this story, will the incense burner scenes make it?? No tags because I'll never forget this one haha wangxian 5ever, send me all fanfics/fan art you have about this story, love Dark Wangji, Jadecest, ABO/omegaverse, Bottom Wangji/Top Wei Ying, and honestly anything regarding this fandom

Bj Alex

Tags: completed, great art, 11/10 will re-read, cam boy, fanboy, seme is an asshole, uke is so sexy, jealously, rich seme, enemies to lovers kind of?, CHANWOO IS MY BOY FOR LIFE, Chanwoo MD supremacy, BDSM (like really really), fuck I love Chanwoo, college students, rich seme, emotional rollercoaster, uke soft body, mean seme, college life, that one nosy bitch ass guy trying to expose my boys needs to fuck right off, seme split/fake personality, dub con 

Anti PT

Tags: ongoing, 11/10 re-readable, porn with feelings, love triangle, jealousy, attempted non-con, personal training wink wink, main love interest is actually the best, second male lead is a god damn creep, first time, smut, great art, sex addict/constantly horny uke, I WANT A HWI, 

Related: https://www.anime-planet.com/manga/anti-pt/recommendations 

Payback

Tags: ongoing, both are psychopaths tbh, revenge, gangs, uke sells himself to seme, violent seme, entertainment industry, brunette supremacy, what this motherfucker gonna do? hehe , great art, muscular bodies, dead dove do not eat, my mans must be GOOD looking/animal magnetism cause everyone losing their fucking minds, okay this is a comedy I’m dying, he tried to scare him with wanting to be a top but my psycho said REVERSEUNO BITCH I’M A VERSE (wait jk apparently *sigh*), anonymous masked sex (sad n’ kinky)

My Suha

Tags: ongoing, wow this gets dark, possessive af like holy shit, terrible people all around uke, rape, boss/employee, office politics/family politics, smut, characters that are punchable, dead dove do not eat, *velociraptor noises*, avoided this for a while but I’m back because nothing can be more emotionally devastating than Banana Fish, TIE HIM UP, FUCK HIS FACE ALKSJD:ASKD, FUCK SUHA UR SO HOT that dirty talk though YAS, glad I picked this back up lmao, GOD DAMN IT just when the package arrived then this red head fucker *screams*

Shame Application aka Dirty Vibration

Tags: completed, friends to lovers, model seme, cute af uke, love triangle, entertainment industry, smut, kink, all kinds of sex everywhere, realized feelings, mutual pining, jealousy, rich seme, blonde seme, big brother 1984 always watching, 10/10 would re-read, porn with plot, they were roommates!, ~straight~ seme, first times, great art, remembering some cringe but considering the story it’s par for the course

Will You Subscribe

Tags: ongoing, season 1 completed, enemies to lovers, cam boy, office politics, boss/employee, hiding a secret, public sex, stalkers/creepy men, emotionally stunted characters, mutual pining, idiots in lust, lingerie company, slut shaming, jealousy/possessiveness, season 2 bebeh, HOLDING HANDS *velociraptor noises*, LMAO okay my mans is not THAT old how tf does he not know netflix and chill, BUNNY COSTUME (quickly becoming my new fav trope in manga, A+ gang), oh we stan a good boy, wtf is wrong with wanting to do cam work, ‘I wish my marks could become permanent’ *omegaverse wink*, *works for lingerie company* *doesn’t understand where bf gets sexy costumes* like wut kind of fuckery…, cross dressing ftw, roleplay, classic BL miscommunication trope

Hyperventilation

Tags: completed, high school crush, unrequited love, mutual pining, smut, quickie (short story), class reunion, apparently furry with the extra chapter turning my man into a bunny but c'est la vie! https://myreadingmanga.info/korean-bl-animation-hyperventilation-engsub/ this is the animation of the same story, different endings but same in tone (this site is spammy AF but the English subs are so hard to find for this) 8/10 

Unmei no tsugai ga omae da nante

Tags: only one bed, ABO, office setting. Coworkers, enemies to lovers, competitive, equality in the omegaverse, dubcon, real dicks and not lightsabers, fated pair, art is cute af 8/10

K’s Secret

Tags: buckle up buttercup, dead dove do not eat, angst, pining, somnophilia, dub con, non con, boss/employee, manipulative, stalking, forced relationship, tragic childhood background, weird art but gets better,  uke: don’t threaten me with a good time but seriously stop threatening me, possessive & obsessive, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, wow were going full psycho stalker hm?, dating a narcissist is all fun and (mind)games, con non con… ? honestly who tf knows, domestic!, OW MY HEART, the t/n WAP note sent me, ch 51 translated by gen z, do special ep= furry? Wait there’s a maid costume, bunny costume, directors friends keeping it real, rough translations 8/10

Enthusiasm

Tags: ongoing, dead dove do not eat, uke buys seme, masc boys, muscular bodies, fight club, master/slave, rich uke, revenge, real dicks not lightsabers, rough sex, cuckholding, daddy issues, suicide, wow the end of ch 5 punched a hole in my heart, penile implant life,  rough translations makes the storyline wonky, nvm back to lightsabers *star wars noises*, HAD ME FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY I CAN NOT, shibari, possessive, wait this is cute *velociraptor noises*, angst, no kithes for you “bestie”, OBSESSED, honestly choke him pupper, STAY THE NIGHT ALKSDJA:SLDKJAS:LKDJA:SLDKj, problematic but I’m riding for these two, 

Ichimai Goshi Fetish

Tags: completed, short, fetishes DO start in childhood don’t they *ruminates*, author: describes ML as a beautiful 2D character meanwhile: ML IS 2D character, fellas is it gay to kiss the homies?, “real dudes don’t interest me” is a MOOD, comedy, jealousy, college setting, dialogue is A+, not lightsabers but not dicks either, first time, when you’re fucked so good you think you’ve died, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4uEq5Nx6ko, hero/villain roleplay. Fluff n smut 10/10

My Purrfect Boss

Tags: completed, tooth rotting fluff because blondie is so FUCKING cute little sensitive soul, golden retriever boyfriend, pure comedy, DECEASED, MY MAN JUST DID THE SLOW BLINK, office setting, boss/employee, ~wasted~ (red dead redemption meme),  FFS SO CUTE, he put a ring on it right away beyonce would be proud af, he protecc he attack but most importantly he hit it from the back, jealousy, honeymoon phase of dating, the ex is a snake (update: oh wow literally), I’m picking up abuse/PTSD vibes based on how Kang reacts to his ex :(, classic BL miscommunication plot, immediately no meme audio (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6XWSGfYnps) ,  I WILL STRAIGHT UP MURDER CHA WTF!!!!!!, gang rape, spiked with drugs that force heat, me rn:*screaming/rage*, psychotic ex/abuser, HE PROTECCC, actual relief after that scene jesus fuck, okay YES kings I see you, okay this is giving me cuteness aggression, hi yes I’d like to adopt a cat and a dog please 9/10

Following Namsoo to the Bathhouse

Tags: completed, same author as, “My Purrfect Boss”, A+ comedy once again, JUNIOR, gay awakening, “fap myself to death” DEAD, facial expressions are ridic, my minds telling me no but my body, my bodyyyy’s telling me yaaaaa, ya boy is literally losing his mind over this, actual lightsabers lmao, FLUFF, permasmile, 6969, THINKS THEY’RE GOING TO EAT RAMEN, dense gay, own your skin wtf okay hannibal calm down, everyone is officially cray,  ah I also am barfy when drunk, denial really is something hm, classic BL miscommunication plot, when people pleasing too far, happy ending 🥺🥰, side story: our crazy gets his very own crazy (ashton Kutcher from spread vibes), public sex, sex sparkle 9/10

Alien in my Closet

Tags: ongoing (maybe completed but def ongoing on the site I use), not rapey at all?? You’d think it’s impossible in this medium ffs, anti pt vibes, cute art, fluff ‘n smut, red head!!, they were roomates!, sex toys, bsdm, D/s (brat)dynamic or maybe owner/pet, bondage, *tiffany hadish voice* this is noiceeee, con humiliation/degradtion, SANTA CLAUS, edging, marking, one lotus please (he’s clearly read the 4 agreements and karma sutra), con non con, exhibitionism, the wrist thing stays on people, Katoptronophilia,  roleplay, is it stalking when you bring your friends?, lotus: welcome home cheater, the chin on the head thing gives me cuteness aggression, the twins are my favs, when ur crush vanilla af 😭, haesung: experiment on me daddy, no dick until halfway through/fingering supremacy, bedroom sessions has me gagged, voyeurism, wait they haven’t kissed this whole time I forgot (audio: https://www.tiktok.com/@ryley/video/6976701880277748997?lang=en), sunbae is sus, YES FINALLY A FUCKING SWITCH COUPLE AKJSDHALKSJDHASKLJDHALS KJDALKSJD (update: sort of), there’s a missed opportunity for an anal probe joke, damn it okay maybe sunbae is chill, 3 musketeers, my heart*implodes*, *velociraptor noises*, 12/10 would re-read such fluff my heart 

On Doorstep

Tags: completed, age gap, reese has ptsd, jimmy going from 0 to 100, jimmy really got down on his knees at work, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) deepest part you say, real dicks, ride him like a rodeo, quickie/short story, porn with plot

Gorani Jeon

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, no alpha though, animal hybrid, art is beautiful like it's drawn on paper not a screen, 40 inch weave yours came in a pack, historical (non-modern), lord send me a sexy man pls, the memes after each chapter are golden, taking the phrase licking wounds literally, is that an eggplant or are you just happy to see me hehe, ahhh so inhibitors do exist here, vertical 69, here lays Bau fucked to death by Ran, WHY HE TOUCHING MY MAN, these chickens are dope, stomp on his dick, that’s what I call a happy meal, fucked right out the front door I’M DEAD, mpreg, i need a tiger+mountain god spin off (whoops dad/son my bad), slice of life, cute fluff 8/10

Room to room

Tags: completed, college setting, A+ dialogue, absurd size difference, unrequited love,  sexsomina, dubcon, angst, death by a thousand cuts emotionally, insecurity, body envy, pining, friends to lovers, they were roommates!, homophobia, sexual assault, PTSD, gays in denial, the tattoo 🥺 ow my heart, truly this is 90% smut, “going from unrequited love to fwbs is shittier than I expected”, dowan *bad blood by t swift* when he sees garam, ch 22garam reminds me of my ex and that’s not a compliment, I’m not gay but my boyfriend is vibes, triflers need not apply, spanking, 😭😭😭😭😭 my heart hurts, is anyone getting a bit of a puppy play vibe? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vni9ZWmDXis, handcuffs, lots of head we stan, dowan’s gotta a touch of a foot thing or maybe body worship thing, asdlfgkjs ;dlkfgjsd;flkgj;sdflkgj;sdlfgjs;d/gkdf SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEE, roleplay. They broke the bed no use of crying over spilled milk ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), side stories delivering man in uniform and sex toys AND puppy, asdlkjaslfkasdjfl;askdfjasdf the shirt thing is so hot, watersports, I take it back this is 98% smut 9/10

Mistake Lover

Tags: completed, when ur bff is back on their BS, love triangle, coworkers, i swear all these ukes look the same to me at this point (which is very cute), GE!!!! (wangxian flashbacks), wait no smut?.... Paused

Yagi to ookami no hatsujou jijou

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, literally on my reading list because a comment said “nice cock 10/10”hahahaha, animal hybrids, scifi/aliens, me during chapter one: am I a furry? No. Am I? Relevant audio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noJNIqvDfoo, hotties when human GOD DAMN, bi king, okay I stan this girl changing gears take your opportunities honey!, does blondie have a tinder or how is this happening? (update: called it), feminization, dubcon/noncon, marking, heats, idk about 10/10 cock but not lightsabers, translation is ruff (get it?), a yankee hahaha, literal wound licking, googles chimera, *claps* yes king selfish call his ass out, tail holding caaaayoooot, not that isn’t usually copious amounts of cum but really this is a lot 8/10

Make Me Bark

Tags: completed, $250 a month rent?? *cries in Californian*, god damn it these grey haired 2D men are really hot fml, “next months rent is a looming concern but I hope it’ll get better” followed by apartment on fire is how I feel about reality, rare characters that smile way more than they frown, sex toys, kink, puppy play, owner/pet dynamic, sugar daddy/baby, college setting, harness, muzzle, leash, tail plug, shirt thing!!, soaked briefs, playing barbie IRL, omg meet cute at the adult store, intercrural sex, possessive/jealousy, ah fuck yes I saw this panel on IG but it didn’t have the source but now hehe, whipping, choking, spanking, *bookmarks*, simp city, childhood friends, side couple cute af, yeonsoo: sorry I’m an anti romantic, size queen, mens lingerie, domestic, mutual pining,  these bestie pairings are *chefs kiss*, skinny but muscular bodies/no ridiculous size differences, “does he have a big dick?” “probably” “well tell him to come” GAGGED AJKSDHALSKDJHA this dialogue pure comedy, exhibitionism, human auction, maid costume, men in heels, topping in a dress, girl at the bus stop HAHAHA, ffs this is so cute, side stories: it’s a small world afterall, dynamic role reversal, pink haired boy is guru, SCREAMING AKDJA:SLDKJA:LKDJA:LSDKJLAKDJA:LDJAL:SKDJASLKDJA:SLKDJLAKSDJLASDJ:LASJD:ALSKDJASL:DJ:ASLJDPUTARINGONIT!!!! 11/10 

Gurume no fukurami

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, food fetish, feeding fetish, age gap, throuple-eqsue? There’s 3 people involved, paused ch 1 pg 30

Under the Green Light

Tags: ongoing, thank you IG for rec’ing this, brunette supremacy, neurodivergent?, lmao @hag, this statue is everything I wonder if it’s based on a real piece?, we went from talking art to being pinned to the ground REAL quick, translations rough but not as rough as my mans here, draw me like one of your french girls vibe, sass master, these dicks are ridiculously huge which is saying something for this genre, i love a verse/switch, “first time he’s asked someone to stop so his self-esteem is hurt” HAHAHAHA, stealing bae’s shirt, facials galore, car sex/public sex, jin not into praise kink clearly, sort of slut shaming jealousy, marking

Walk on Water

Tags: completed, for being about porn it’s not that smutty (i take it back), “don’t even think about running away” got me like https://giphy.com/gifs/VABbCpX94WCfS, actual dicks (lightsabers later must be the cleaners not the OG), muscular bodies, blonde seme, brunette uke, k mcqueen is everything, honestly haven’t loved a couple this much since chanwoo x MD and I LOVE THEM, jealousy, orgasm denial, the angles/frames of the art in this are insane (11/10), emotional intimacy CUTENESS HASIHDLASKDHJLAKSJDH, i wanna lick lick lick you from your head to your toes, dirty talk A+, bestie you turned out to be Judas you judgy fuck how dare you touch my man, Ryan is 50 shades of fucked up bb needs therapy, Chang and yeowoons sexual tension is *chefs kiss*, I ship it/all my ships sailing, woof non con but expected tbh, YEAH BABY YEAH *Austin powers voice*, fml I don’t want this story to end, meeting the Hets ™ would make me nervous too, spiderman kith, mirror sex sjkadfhasldjkfh, 34+35, JOI but with a partner? Not D/s, promises are made to broken hehe, that feeling when you understand the title, omg the fan art is so cool!! 15/10 would re-read seriously I can’t explain how well the artist used angles/how she portrayed the scenes was fucking MASTERFUL

Woof Wolf

Tags: that's my best friend (saweetie), red heads, werewolf au, college setting, students, shoot a shot in your mouth while I'm riding, facials, marking

Sexual Awakening of an Ex Delinquent 

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, sexual coercion/non con/dub con, tiddies, bondage, nipple play, edging/orgasm denial, candy in ass wow, food kink, kink in general, rich seme working class uke, lightsabers,  big dick Jesus fuck, exhibitionism, public sex, men's lingerie, Blondie is a sweet baby angel, self hatred/homophobia, sexual narrating that has me like oof 😣 that's not how this works but okay, the sweet spots thing is a great line, man is a slave to the sweets, lmao at the meme at the end of ch 9 fucking facts, kidnapping plot, rapey guys all around this story, tattoo/back story reveal has me like *nods head yes*, my throats broken has me gagged, crazy amount of sfx noises that distract from the art (I really appreciate cleaners I realize), first times, rushed ending feels,  would rate 6/10 not terrible but probably won't read again.  

With Your Tail Yes

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, quickie/short story, on man brunette looks EXACTLY like a different character by another artist like for real duplicate, home boy pulled Elle Wood’s Bend n Snap and we are HERE FOR IT, lingerie/cross dressing, okay compilation of short stories, great artwork but wtf these are far too short (maybe uploaded wrong..?), *immediately makes deal with the devil because yum*, ah okay previews THEN stories, human animal hybrid situation, lightsabers, fucking imagine your crush delivery the sex toy you ordered online HAHA *dies*, buys toys because men ain’t shit is a VIBE, you know he’s always wearing matching sets because he’s 100% that bitch, dub con/non con, knotting (unexpected), exhibitionism, public sex, good ol’ fashion blackmail to get your lover to stay with you trope, sexual assault/attempted rape, victim blaming, shibari, leashes, D/brat dynamic sort of, copious amounts of cum, lube? What lube?, marathon sex, first time, 75 hours?? Immediately no meme, 7/10 mostly for art/concepts but not execution

Heat and Run

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, omegaverse, friends to enemies to lovers, multiple couples as main to sides then sides to mains, my heart dropped because I thought the first sex scene was incest but then realized I’m mixing up all the characters derp, dense gays, this is america (the shooting comment WOOF reality feels bad man), blondes have more fun, real dicks, dubcon/CNC dealers choice, mutual pining, idiots in love, big alpha energy BDE, there are moments I feel Hayoung on a spiritual level and not sure that’s a compliment hahaha, orgasm denial/edging, istg if he bonded without Hayoung permission *jenna marbles BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YOU BETTAH NOT*, also I was hoping the idol was him but realizing it’s probs his sis, *deep sigh*, BDIRL, wow racism, oh no oh no no no no no meme audio, listen everyone needs to get into therapy to break that generational trauma is all I’m saying (not excusing abuse at all, trauma isn’t a free pass), NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY A GAME WITHOUT KNOWING THE RULES :ALKSDHJALKSDJA:SLKDJTRUE, matthew singing bo burnham: I’m problematic *background singers ‘he’s a problem!’*, i ship it yolo, JAEHO STAN (no means no!), mpreg, god damn it I am so worried about him getting roofie and the party scene hasn’t even started ABO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TOO ME, OH THANK JAEHO, dayummmm that clapback was real fuck him UP, me clapping: MARK HIM MARK HIM, GOD DAMN IT WITH THESE ONGOING FUCKING CLIFF HANGERS FML, marked via knotting? Okay that’s new, but also like normal marking I think, fucking til bottom pees trope

Heaven Officials Blessing

Animated series season 1 complete. Live action currently filming (same director as Untamed too UGH SO HAPPY)

Tags: ongoing, same author as my fav ever MDZS, just finished season 1 animated on netflix and can no longer avoid this because I LOVE THEM, all the memes on IG make sense now, Prince voice: Dearly Beloved (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXJhDltzYVQ) we are gathered here today to dive deeper into a fandom I will never escape, ART IS AMAZING (https://tenor.com/view/incredible-talented-lady-brilliant-gaga-gif-14857187), group chats are always chaotic tbh, wait a minute meme audio: bride = bottom? How tf did I not get that the first time round *sigh* always hoping for a verse couple, the asst. Boys I ship hard, the sass, fuck this is going to just be pure angst isn’t it *straps in, has fluffy manga queued*, even if no smut 11/10 gege porn, not subtle, god FUCK this ART IS SO FUCKING GOOD THE TALENT skjas;ldkfja;, 🥺, traumatic cliff moment *mdzs flashbacks*, HC smirk is my new favorite thing, no fucking but lots of touching, size difference, horror, gore, wuxia, great side characters, my ear feels tingly too lmao, SOMEONE BETTER GET THESE MF SNAKES ON THIS MF PLANE (cliff), umbrella moments got me uwu, gimme at least didi pleaseandthankyou, FUCK I LOVE THIS ARTIST she keeping us WELL fed with these extras DAYUM, wind/earth master ship please sail, CALL ME DADDY IM DEAD, HC has LWJ energy like you are not qualified to talk to me LOL, WAIT this totally counts as there was only one bed trope, also I’m already excited about omegaverse ff (send me recs please please please)

4 week lovers

Tags: ongoing because apparently I want to torture myself, mutual pining/”unrequited love”, college life, friends to lovers, blackmail ur crush into sex trope, public sex, I was going to tag possessive body language but possessive in a general sense apparently (starting strong yessss), sure jan @unrequited love dialogue, THEY WERE ROOMMATES *cackles*, sus haha, rough translation, pure comedy, shirt thing!, casual abuse :( (back story, traumatic childhood), I’m getting TharnType vibes (but not quite…), that note is precious, cry during/after sex, great angles, dialogue A+ 

Burlesque Night

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, stripper/body guard, coworkers, lust at first sight, magic mike vibes, fridays = getting fucked on stage O-O, well that was traumatizing af, took a bullet, real dicks, LDR, CUTE, I’m not in love with you… sure jan, OH WOW MASTER dlksaj;alsdkja;lsdkja;sld, gay awakening/first time, the art detail is *chefs kiss*, disappointed but not surprised :( :( :(, we stan a yes and lover, shirt thing, still not sure wtf the vertical anus thing is but full circle moment haha, you know what fuck it I’d re-read this 9/10

My one and only cat

Tags: ongoing, cat hybrids, god damn it I’m totally in furrydom ffs, ah well here we go, idol hot = loneliness wahhh /s, so hot he literally transforms other beings, omg a cat cafe CUTE, fuck that cat is cute *so fluffy*, stalker status, comedy, real dicks, I think the uncle would be supportive/jealous even I hope they talk about it I’m dying to know his thoughts, big tiddies, if this ain’t the cutest shit FLUFF/SMUT, copious amounts of cum, ate it with the panties on, CAKE, xmas, his milkshakes bring all the boy(cats) to the yard, trifling bitch

Imitation Mate

Tags: completed, omegaverse, alpha x alpha. Class rivals YAS, childhood frans, enemies to lovers omg this is all the shit I want, manipulation 1000 but yolo I ship it

Mr. 100% Perfect

Tags: ongoing, so relatable, OCD?, hoarder, when I read the title I thought mental illness and I was right, masks ugh RELATABLE, getting back together w ex, woof sibling drama/manipulation, suicide attempt, omg their communication regarding the psycho is REFRESHING, OMG JEJU ISLAND I see it in every fucking kdrama ever but this is the first time I’ve seen it mentioned in a manga *hm* interesting, furry furry everywhere, eye contact, finished reading season 1 pause for an omergaverse cause, okay I’m back and season 2 starting STRONG #1 men are gross #2 mans just went right to a blowie while mf was trying to pee lmao i can NOT the germs barf, fuckboi extraordinaire stressing over a textback is *great*, that istg face is perfect, HYUNGGGG, hand on his heart OW MY HEART, vibe check LOL, here for this plot dev, END OF SEASON2 NOOOOOOOimnotready. Head bonks CUTE

The origin of species

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, sex tape, blackmail, i already don’t like this teacher, size difference, ‘JUST DIE’ hahahahahaha, I’m in love with noona, wait Ahjussi means uncle/mister? Dangerous convenience store has a new meaning to me now, DECEASED @they won’t, copious amounts of cum, alcohol to have intimacy *sighs in early 20s*, also WTF THEY ARE FUCKING AND THERE’S NO PHERMONE STUFF! What’s the point of being ABO without smell *swaggy p meme???*, wait okay ch 11 it begins, stockholm syndrome but since childhood I’m fairly certain *looking at you teacher I don’t trust these mfs*, dubcon obviously, also the can’t be knotted thing has me *cardi b meme that’s weird that’s sus* obvs poor bb about to get preg af, five word horror story: I won’t hurt you again *why tf you lyinggggg why u always lyinggg meme*, white collar crime, what’s the point of a contract when there’s no actual choice

How to Chase an Alpha

Tags: ongoing, lowkey been avoiding this one not because I think it’ll be bad I just..idk the brain is a weird thing, page 2 and I love mains attitude fucking gagged sass me bb, starting with rough translation but it be that way sometimes, GROUNDS HIMSELF BY TOUCHING HIS BLACK CARD I CANTTT, pheromone city fuck it UP, MC is a MOOD, mutual pining, when u and bae both hire PI’s to get info on each other, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, shirt thing, fucking chuffed about the rival fucking bring it, funny art, cheated on ugh mah heart I saw it coming and it still hurt, pure comedy this airport scene is so funny to me wtf, LDR, good ol murica fuckboi, LOVE HIM RIDE FOR UR MAN/MORALS, liams a little rapey rapist hm? No one’s ever said no… well being flooded with pheromones isn’t consent my dude, istg liam = I love it when they struggle, obvs jealousy/possessive tag but such is ABO, cat suit, BUNNY suit, sexy costumes, god damn it I love them that proposal/mpreg so cute, imprinting AW, ugh baes fam is so cute I needed that bc I wanna strangle wooyoungs dad, THE SECETARY is my fucking fav never stops being A+, SEC+LIAM?? Here for it *i ship it*, FUCK SO CUTE 12/10 re-read, fluff n smut, excited for how to chase an omegaside story hyung needs love!, JINI is mood, sales king I’m dying, that collar is ~hot~ btw

Egoism

Tags: completed (because jesus I can’t with ongoing, theheartbreakTM), UPDATE FML THE HEART BREAK IS REAL also no smut, omegaverse, hey stepbro, starts with rape, possessive/jealousy (isn’t all ABO?), age difference (6years, alpha is younger *can I get hyung plz lord*), HYUNG, woof this dad SUCKS, child abuse, rape culture *sigh*, I wanna get jacked like rick and summer and beat tf out of the dad, me n my cat, TELL EM HONEY I love this MC, traitor indeed, beta x omega btw, fated pair, coercive sex, didi going to be his own demise, BREAKUP/TIME SKIP NO this is BL hell, the rona is mentioned in this, ALL I WANT IS TO HEAR YOUR STORY WAHHHHHHHHHH also YES MY SHIP IS GOING TO SAIL I CAN FEEL IT, okay honestly frustrating a bit but also liked it yah 7-8/10, won’t re-read unless I’m looking for hurt though cause the comfort is BRIEF

Yarichin bitch bu

Tags: ongoing, reading because I watched this anime after seeing it mentioned in the comment section of -im-being-harassed-by-the-sexiest-man-of-the-year, anime was 2 eps a fucking wild the way this is uploaded SUCKS, no reality porn what plot rape-y ridiculous and now I need to read the source apparently haha, I need to know much more about yuri and blue hair guy ASAP (they have the spin off*adds to list*), high school setting, smut, studentsxstudents/teachers, photography club my ass, sex toys, kinky, crossdressing, gay awakening, unrequited love, jealousy, fake relationship, two faced people, OCD, COMEDY, rich people problems, hoarder, inferiority complex, one bed, toono is a dumbass in this love triangle or denial might be a better word, they are cousins my dude stop shipping it (I say to both toono and myself LOL), I wanna see Yuri’s face laksdjf;aldskf, vibrator #18 line is fucking iconic, yaguchi is about to get real interesting (BPD?), lies/manipulation, oh toono you sweet summer child, YURI i can’t wit chu, wait did he just punch the student because he won’t kiss him or???, dubcon/noncon obvs, finally my verse couple but they’re not a couple (yuri/tamu), they all care about each other is a weird way awwww, love confessions to pet vibrator scene are ICONIC MY DUDES I CAN NOTTT, lowkey living for Yuri’s drooling at this point, Jimi gives me such bad second hand embarrassment, Yuri the switch verse bb I’ve been looking for need more!, internalized homophobia, blackmail, MIDDLE FINGER IN THE AIR YAS KING, the heartbreak of ongoing/hasn’t been updated in years

Yarichin bitch bu dj wa

Tags: not completed I think, years old though, see above you know what it is, so cute omg, FIRST KISS AW, degradation kink?, MY VERSE COUPLE I’ve finally found you, biting, choking, rough sex, sex toys, they had fun together for another two hours DECEASED

Fucked by my Best Friend

Tags: ongoing, friends to lovers, body swap, Porn what plot, cannon threesomes in past maybe??(MFF for sure but MMF??), beach life, revenge, he became a HOT woman so honestly get over it, sloppy seconds, first off you’re both sluts second lmao this is going to be wild hm?, fellas is it gay if you kiss the homies, classic did you cum guy jfc, that’s how you get preg dumbass, ah the joys of being a woman /s assault in der clrub, *DEEP SIGH* @ you almost being raped turns me on, YES TURNING BACK DYING, gender has nothing to do with this LOL but true. Also yes cannon threesomes/orgies, googles frotting, mans like narrating playtime, intecurial sex public sex, lingerie, this is the closest thing to straight manga I’ve read hahaha, THE SCIENCE OMG FUCKING RIDIC :you need a mass amount of semen within you SURE JAN, possessive. Objectification, she trying to fuck without Shion LMAO, 34+35, do you think he’s on r/nofap, dry orgasm honestly impressed with mans rn ngl, spit as lube, anal fingering, just helping the homies find their prostate, bottom shaming (disappointed but not surprised), bis/gays in denial smh, question if he has a wet dream will he turn into a woman?, shirt thing, lol at female orgasm =anal in switcharoos mind, paging doc perv, shion is enjoying dressing up hm? Same dude, biggest reality gap is believing shion got admitted to a college HAHA, bad anatomy all over the place dude, rui is a dedicated exhibitionist, HE SO TIGHT BECAUSE THERES NO LUBE team no lube over here apparently not even a courtesy spit, yandere territory sort of?, Mayu with the dick wet comment is *chefs kiss*, THE HEARTBREAK OF ONGOING WAHHH I can’t believe I read all this but I can? 8/10 problematic possessive porn

[gentlemanjester]

Why the Bionicle movies is a masterpiece

From the beginning, we’re told about the villain: The Makuta. The Makuta is the brother of Mata Nui, the “Great Spirit”. Throughout the movie, there are always cuts to The Makuta, and I have to say, his dialogue in this movie is fascinating because it actually calls into doubt his villain status. He’s a master of shadows, sure, and he creates the Rahkshi, he tries to convince Takua to bring him the Mask of Light... but what’s his reasoning? In this movie, as far as we’re told, he’s doing it to prolong Mata Nui’s slumber, his brother’s sleep... because wakefulness brings pain to Mata Nui. If your brother was in pain unless he was asleep, wouldn’t you want to let him be at peace as well?

Then we have our two intrepid heroes: Takua and Jaller. We’re introduced to them and given great character profiles: Takua is the foolhardy guy who’s always seeking adventure, no matter how dangerous. Jaller is his best friend, always more level-headed, basically Takua’s rock. It’s this scene where Takua discovers the Mask of Light, and is subsequently rescued by Toa Tahu. 

They go to their Kohlii match (basically 3-way football with 2-player teams), where we learn that the Toa are protectors of the Matoran (the small Bionicles). A cool Kohlii match unfolds, where we get a scene which is foreshadowing for the climax, we’ll get back to that later. Actually, the whole match is foreshadowing for the climax, but we’ll get back to that later. But it’s at the end of this match that the Mask of Light is revealed, and the Turaga (old, wise Bionicles) translate the text inside the mask. Here, they discover that there is a seventh Toa. 

Now, there are six Toa to represent six elements: fire, water, wind, ice, earth, and rock. We also learnt hat these six Toa appeared once day, whereas this mysterious seventh Toa needs to be found. It’s here that we learn of Takua’s reluctance to make his own story. Known as the Chronicler, it’s naturally his job to chronicle; to record the tales of others. The Mask shines for him, yet he manages to convince everybody that Jaller is the Herald of the Seventh Toa. Takua is so uncertain about his own destiny (one of the three virtues, alongside Unity and Duty), that he is quite distressed when Jaller drags him along for the ride. 

Speaking of the three virtues, let’s discuss a fantastic sub-plot of the movie: Tahu’s corruption. In the beginning, there are three Toa in attendance at the Kohlii match: Tahu (Toa of Fire), Pohatu (Toa of Earth), and Gahli (Toa of Water). There is obvious tension between Tahu and Gahli, with Pohatu trying to act as a mediator. When the initial three Rahkshi attackTa-Koro, the village of Fire, Tahu still tries to go solo, but gets a cut on his face from one of the Rahkshi’s spears. 

Tahu eventually gets more and more dejected and angry, saying how he wasn’t strong enough to protect his home, he pushes Gahli away when she tries to help him... until, when fighting the next trio of Rahkshi in the stone village of Onu-Koro, Tahu straight up turns against Gahli. He struggles through a stream of water she’s holding him back with, while snarling “I... have no... destiny!” which, in my opinion, is a fantastic line. Destiny, arguably one of the most important of the three virtues of Mata Nui, and he is so corrupted by the Rahkshi’s venom that he’s rejecting it mindlessly. It takes Toa Kopaka freezing him to stop him. 

Tahu is healed of the venom by Gahli, Lewa, and Kopaka, and makes peace with Gahli as thanks for saving his life. 

Now, back to Takua and Jaller in what is another fantastic story arc. So, the pair (riding atop Pewku, a crap-like Ussal who’s adorable), are in the tunnels, following the Mask of Light. Takua gets distracted, as he’s wont to do, and get separated from Jaller. While in the darkness, the Makuta speaks to him, and tells him to bring Makuta the Mask of Light, because not doing so will only result in pain and darkness. When Takua is reunited with Jaller, he realises that the Makuta can obviously see where he is, so he pushes Jaller away and convinces him that he should continue alone, because Takua’s only going to be a burden and isn’t worth keeping around. 

Takua arrives at Onu-Koro right before the Rahkshi arrive, and it’s then that he realises “No... I need to help my friend!”, so he and Pewku continue on to try and find Jaller. Takua and Jaller are the best of friends, this much has been made clear. Which means that for Takua to push away Jaller like that, make them part on bad terms, he knew that Jaller would be safer without him. But with the arrival of the Rahkshi, chasing him rather than the Mask, he realises that his duty is the Herald of the Seventh Toa, and like it or not, he has left his best friend in the wild with no less than six Rahkshi hunting for the Herald and the Mask. 

The pair reuinte, and they’re led to Kini-Nui, a sacred sight, and there, they are set upon by the six Rahkshi. The Toa arrive and, now with unity, they battle with their foes and defeat them. During the fight, however, one of the Rahkshi is about to attack Takua. Which is when Jaller, the best friend in the world, jumps up and grabs hold of the beast’s spear, which drains his life. Jaller dies in Takua’s arms, with his last words being “You know who you are.” 

Takua, torn by the loss of his best friend, he realises that he was right all along: Jaller was the Herald of the Seventh Toa. Except the Seventh Toa was there all along. Takua dons the Mask of Light, and becomes Toa Takanuva, the Toa of Light. 

He goes into Mangaia and faces The Makuta. As mentioned before, that Kohlii match was foreshadowing... and the two, Light and Shadow, fight in a “Kohlii” match, tossing a ball around with their respective weapons. It ends with a fantastic exchange.  Makuta: “My duty... is to the Mask of Shadows!” Takanuva: “Then let’s take a closer look.. behind that mask!”

Takanuva proceeds to leap onto Makuta, trying to wrench his mask free. They struggle for a bit, before falling into the pool of energized protodermis together. By now, the Turaga and the Toa have arrived, trapped by a rockslide caused by The Makuta. 

And from the pool of protodermis emerges an amalgamation of Takanuva and Makuta. Light and dark, merged together. This merging of the two lifts up an extremely heavy door to a balcony beyond, holding it open for everybody to get through. However, he stops a young Matoran who’s carrying Jaller’s mask. He places the mask on the ground, then uses his power to restore Jaller to life. Then, with everybody save and a dramatic “My... duty... is done...!”, the door collapses, crushing him. The Mask of Light then skids along the ground to come to a rest at the feet of the Toa, Matorans, and Turaga. 

So, this movie has got:

Drama - Takua’s rescue at the beginning, the Kohlii match, Tahu’s corruption, the attack on Noru-Koro, Takanuva’s assault on The Makuta’s mask.  Emotion - Takua pushing Jaller away, Jaller’s death, Tahu becoming more and more hateful towards his fellow Toa Action - so many fight scenes, it’s all awesome Character development - Tahu’s acceptance of Gahli’s help (even at he beginning, they never got along), Takua’s acceptance of him being the chronicle rather than the Chronicler, the true motivation of The Makuta? A deep, lore-filled world - we’ve all seen the memes of Bionicle lore

The movie is fantastic for people of all ages. I know I’ve already done a short review on it, but I want people to understand how good this movie is. It is fantastic. Wonderful. Glorious. Perfection. It has everything a good movie needs. 

[presumenothing]

FMAB: Daughter of the Dusk – Chapter 8: A Gunshot Through Hope

(A little late, but here’s my non-fic contribution to the fandom in honour of FMA day! The game is quite long overall, so this covers just the first part, which I figured people might be curious about since it ties up the cliffhanger from Prince of the Dawn. Not sure if I’ll do the rest of the game yet, but in the meantime – enjoy this chapter!)

-

Daughter of the Dusk is the sequel to Prince of the Dawn, which covers Chapters 1-7 of the story, and has a English-subbed playthrough by EnvyPlays (which you should watch first before reading on, obviously). I don’t have either game, so this summary is based on this playthrough by チキンオレ, starting from video 9 in the playlist.

The game is set before the Briggs arc, and picks up directly from where the previous one ended: at the Amestris-Aerugo peace treaty signing ceremony in Central City, with Bradley and Prince Claudio shaking hands onstage. Ed spots Scar in the audience, but he vanishes before Ed can give pursuit. 

Meanwhile, up on the radio tower, Hawkeye prepares to snipe Claudio (on Bradley’s orders) with Black Hayate by her side. She takes out her pocketbook to check the ceremony map, and a photo of the team falls out, leading to this moment as she looks at the photo…

HAWKEYE: [silently] I pull this trigger of my own will. [aloud, at Hayate’s worried expression] It’s alright. [aims the rifle at Claudio as he begins his speech] The Hawk’s Eye does not miss. Goodbye, Colonel.

[sound of gunshot, cut to black]

[flashback to before the signing ceremony]

CHAPTER 8: A GUNSHOT THROUGH HOPE

NARRATOR: Central City gladly welcomed “Envoy of Peace” Prince Claudio, whose arrival marked the end of a long war. But the gunshot that rang out at the climax of the festivities – the peace treaty signing ceremony – abruptly turned the celebratory cheers to screams. The beginning can be traced back to several hours before the fated time……

FUHRER’S OFFICE: Envy leaves to bring Hawkeye to the sniper spot. Greed arrives. Bradley assigns him to bring Hawkeye’s rifle from the armoury (G: “How could a sniper forget her rifle?” B: “She couldn’t carry it and get past security.”), and gives him an ID for a weapons dealer so he can get in.

[player character: Greed]

CENTRAL COMMAND - RECEPTION: Greed bluffs his way past (G: Lying is against my creed, but I did promise to do this…), mainly because it turns out Bradley informed them beforehand of his arrival.

CENTRAL COMMAND - ARMOURY 2: Greed notices something odd about a large box, but dismisses it as his imagination, and takes the rifle. Bradley appears, having “coincidentally” passed by. Greed realises this was a test. (B: “This is a tactic that will shake the nation. Who knew if ‘the prince’ would make a racket.”) Bradley then reveals Greed’s next task – blowing up the sniper spot after the deed is done, to erase the evidence and silence Hawkeye.

[PC: Mustang, who is implied to have been hiding in the box Greed noticed]

Mustang thinks about what he overheard – the assassination and silencing of Hawkeye afterwards. (M: “My instinct was spot on, to have picked this as the meeting place! [beat] Time is running out. ……I’ll have to cancel my date. Hang in there.”) He heads out to search for the sniper spot.

CENTRAL COMMAND - LOBBY: A soldier tells Mustang that Hawkeye has gone out, and someone at the entrance might know where she was headed.

At the entrance, best boy™️ Black Hayate barks and proceeds to tug Mustang’s uniform. (M: “What’re you doing! I don’t have time to play with you now…" BH: [growls] M: “Ow ow ow! Let go! [beat] Fine, I’ll follow you! Lead me to where your master is……")

Mustang spots Envy in the city, and deduces that Hawkeye is somewhere nearby. He arrives at the train depot, followed swiftly by Ed looking for Hayate (this scene was seen from Ed’s POV in the previous game, at 13:20 of Part 18). Mustang decides to return Hayate and make Ed leave so they won’t get caught up in this. He reflects on how Hawkeye has been given nothing but tasks opposite to him ever since Claudio arrived, likely because the higher-ups wanted to separate them so he wouldn’t find out about the assassination plan… which didn’t work out, clearly. Hawkeye then arrives (their confrontation was also previously seen from Hawkeye’s POV, at 7:08 of Part 19).

[PC: Fuery]

Fuery wrings his hands over having lost sight of Mustang, Ed, and Hayate. He decides to track down Mustang since something about him had looked off, by asking around if anyone’s seen him.

ENTERTAINMENT DISTRICT: Fuery runs into Vanessa, who is Peak Angry at Mustang for passing by without noticing her at all. She says that he’d headed towards the abandoned factory.

[PC: Mustang]

ABANDONED FACTORY: Fuery finally finds Mustang, who asks what he’s doing here. (F: “Please stop saying such stand-offish things. Something happened, right, Colonel?” M: “You’re no longer under my command. Whatever I do has nothing to do with you.” F: “It does! I’m worried of my own accord!” M: “One after another… I really did get some strong-willed subordinates, huh.”) Scar then appears out of… seemingly nowhere, causing Mustang to dimiss Fuery over his protests, telling him to contact Breda and Falman. Scar and Mustang both declare they don’t have time for this. Scar activates his disintegration alchemy, but Mustang makes a smokescreen with flame alchemy and runs off.

[Time left until the fated moment – 00:59:59]

Having explained the situation to Falman, Breda, and Fuery, Mustang tells them it’s not too late to return to their posts, but of course they reject this offhand. Mustang then says that he’s going to meet Claudio and try to stop the signing ceremony somehow.

[Time left until the fated moment – 00:51:28]

Mustang asks Claudio to not appear at the ceremony, as he is being targeted. Claudio says he was prepared for the danger all along, and a mini-game follows where you have to choose dialogue that will convince him. Mustang says that it’s a plot by rebels within the military (another option says it’s by mysterious aliens, lol) with a sniper known to be a crack shot, though he claims their identity is still under investigation. Claudio then asks the real reason why he’s so determined to stop this, since it might even endanger his standing in the military, and Mustang answers that it’s out of his personal wish of peace. In the end, Claudio declares that he still won’t stop the ceremony just to protect his own life, but he will bear Mustang’s words in mind. Mustang acknowledges this determination, and says that he will do everything he can to foil the plot.

[Time left until the fated moment – 00:32:23]

[PC: Fuery]

Fuery sneaks into the communication room to eavesdrop on transmissions from Bradley’s allies to Hawkeye. After some false alarms (including a report of a woman being detained for carrying a rifle-shaped object and blunt weapon, who turns out to be Winry with automail case and spanner), he catches an exchange between Envy and Hawkeye, and finds out the sniper spot is outside the ceremony area and informs the rest. An emergency report then comes in about an intruder at the back door – it’s Scar.

[PC: Scar]

Scar barges in and destroys things while… monologuing darkly about various things, including his comrades and “that man”. (I’ll be honest, I do not like this Ishvalan terrorist subplot at all so I paid about zero attention to it.) He leaves. Falman and Breda arrive under the pretext of providing backup.

[Time left until the fated moment – 00:24:45]

[PC: Falman]

Falman and Breda head towards the watchtower to look for Hawkeye’s sniper spot. Just to be on the safe side, Falman memorises a guard assignment map of the ceremony area, which turns out useful when a suspicious soldier gives them a literal pop quiz to prove they’re really here as backup. Falman aces it, and Breda sneaks off while he proceeds to distract the soldier… with a long, long, long monologue on the founding of Amestris. Which continues even as the screen fades to black. Who ever said history wasn’t useful?

[Time left until the fated moment – 00:15:22]

[PC: Breda]

Breda sneaks up to the watchtower, and spots Hawkeye through a telescope, at her sniper spot atop the radio tower. He’s then discovered, but manages to send word to Mustang before he’s knocked out.

[Time left until the fated moment – 00:04:48]

[PC: Mustang]

Mustang hears Breda’s message but can’t get any further response from him, and rushes off. Fuery also radios in to warn that Bradley has ordered Mustang’s arrest, saying not to reply before he’s seemingly arrested too. Mustang is then surrounded, but spots a certain gremlin.

[Time left until the fated moment – 00:03:11]

[PC: Ed]

Unsurprisingly, Ed is furious, and proceeds to furiously kick ass via alchemy. Mustang warns him about the plot before leaving. (M: “The Hawk’s Eye is aiming for the stage. She’s being used by them. I don’t want to ask anything of you, but–” E: “Leave it to me.” M: “You’re not surprised? ……so you already noticed.” E: “No. I didn’t know until now.” M: [shrugs with excessive sass])

Other soldiers try to stop Ed, on account of him being Mustang’s ally, leading to an entertaining obstacle course as he dashes towards the stage. (E: “Hah, as if they could keep up with me! [beat] …wait, this isn’t the time for that!”)

We’re now back to the start, at the moment where Claudio begins his speech. From offstage, Ed spots a flash from the radio tower. He rushes forward to tackle Claudio down and gets shot……… on his automail, so it’s all fine!

It gets much less fine a moment later, when the radio tower blows up. Hawkeye pulls Hayate into a hug, trying to shield him as the tower falls onto them, but the entire thing goes up in flames just in time, metal and all. Stunned, Hawkeye turns around amidst the drifting ashes to see none other than…

MUSTANG: Sorry I kept you waiting. You ended up bearing all this alone. HAWKEYE: I chose this myself. MUSTANG: You were trying to protect us, weren’t you? Leave the rest to me. [Hawkeye inhales sharply] Protection is my job. HAWKEYE: Understood.

Meanwhile, back at the ceremony:

AL: Brother! ELENA: Brother! WINRY: Ed! AL: [silently] “Brother”!? Elena definitely said that just now……!

ED: That was close. CLAUDIO: …time to change plans. We’ll retreat for now. [leaves] ED: What was that about……?

There’s a bit more aftermath: Scar talks with another Ishvalan, Envy chews Greed out for letting Hawkeye escape (until Father bitches them out for sibling quarrels), and Bradley says he’ll release Mustang’s team.

We cut to Mustang and Breda right outside the ceremony area:

ED: Is everyone okay!? BREDA: Everyone was let off without censure. Sergeant Fuery, Officer Falman, and Lieutenant Hawkeye are fine too. MUSTANG: “In recognition of heroic actions to save the prince’s life”, apparently. ED: And what about the ceasefire treaty? MUSTANG: It’s taking everything we have just to handle the fallout. About the treaty, or the prince… none of it has been decided. ED: That prince……

AL: [narrating] The prince’s life was saved with Brother’s involvement. It seems that the Fuhrer and his allies had planned from the start to worsen the war by killing the prince. Unaware of all this, Prince Claudio remains in this country, and is said to be hoping to start over on the treaty. But there’s something I’m far more bothered by–

[flashback to Elena shouting “Brother!”]

AL: The word Elena shouted while looking at Prince Claudio… and yet, I wasn’t able to ask her anything. Because it felt like Elena would vanish somewhere, if I did ask……

To be continued.

-

And last but not least… the trailer for the next chapter!

WINRY: Oh no, it’s terrible! There’s been a case! A locked-room murder! The name of the case is “The Murder of Colonel Roy Mustang”! ED: So you died without achieving your goal… go to your sleep in peace, Colonel. ROY: Hold it right there! I’m still alive! WINRY: I’ll solve this case for sure! I definitely will! Next time, on FMAB: Daughter of the Dusk, Chapter 9 – Automail Mechanic Winry Rockbell’s Splendid Casebook! ROY: Like I said, stop progressing the story however you like! [gets elbowed(??) by Winry] WINRY: Well then, who’s the culprit!?

[focusfixated]

fic rec post: bookmarks of 2019

hooo boy i really got through some fandoms this year. from right-on-time fandoms that i got to partake in as they were happening (good omens) to years-too-late fandoms i only just discovered (hannibal), there have been some real outstanding things to read from authors across multiple fandoms and genres. 

i’ve put together a list below of some of the fics I bookmarked to my ao3 this year - some were written in 2019, some are older than that, but all of them left their mark on me these past 12 months.

i haven’t listed and reviewed every single story i have bookmarked this year, or else i’d be composing this post for weeks, so i’ve also put quick links at the end to other recs that you can find on my ao3 if you wish to peruse.

here’s the list, arranged by fandom, chronologically in the order i read them:

fandom: dirk gently’s holistic detective agency

interrogation by goingtoalaska – @holistick on tumblr

rating: G

pairing: dirk/todd

summary: Of course Dirk has some extremely important questions that can only be asked in the middle of the goddamn night, obviously.

notes: one of those dialogue-rich, beautifully-crafted, one-shot fics that just perfectly exemplifies the form. i’m always impressed by authors whose strength is in funny, well-written dialogue. it’s really one of the most difficult things to master. this is a well-observed rendering of these characters subtly done through conversation. comical, sweet, quick-witted, lovely.

fandom: hannibal

 consenting to dream by emungere – @emungere on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: will/hannibal

summary: a seduction through physical objects. It starts with a scarf loaned to Will on a cold day, but Hannibal, as usual, isn't satisfied with anything small.

notes: a perfectly-crafted slowburn sugar daddy AU structured around gifts and offerings that tangle hannibal and will gradually into an ever darker, more complicated, more intense relationship. this was one of those fandom-transcendent stories that was of such gripping quality, i read the whole story and its sequel without having any knowledge of the source material and went to watch the hannibal TV series entirely off the back of having read the fic.

it's honestly stunning how beautifully this is written. the consistent characterisation, the slow development and revelation of the dynamic between the hannibal and will, and the powerplay between them is so utterly compelling. i'm so fascinated and enthralled by the exploration of power dynamics, the shifting balance between what hannibal wants, and what he wants to give, and how will is both subsumed by his need to please and be cared for, and is at the same time motivated so strongly by the desire to see hannibal out of control.

everything is just so perfectly on a knife's edge at all times, it makes the development of their relationship throughout totally riveting.

  the wave at morning by emungere – @emungere on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: will/hannibal

summary: post-fall, Will and Hannibal strike a new balance in their relationship.

notes: i have probably re-read this one more often than anything else this year. more of a collection of scenes that build up the picture of a relationship than a whole story, this nevertheless has such a raw intensity, it’s one of my favourite things i’ve ever read in any fandom. a concisely-observed exploration of a developing dom/sub relationship which is based on both a powerful sexual desire and a compelling, psychological push-and-pull dynamic between the characters.

masterfully-written and searingly hot, it hits emotional notes with such accuracy and economy, leaving all this imaginative breathing room around the scenes which are remarkably stimulating. desire comes off this in waves and is so worth waiting for.

also, read everything by @emungere. a stunningly talented writer.

  fandom: legend

 you’ll find it funny (when you’re looking back someday) by th_esaurus

rating: E

pairing: ronnie/teddy

summary: It was around this time that Teddy Smith began his nightly habit of leaning on the wall across the road from Esmeralda's Barn with an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips and the top two buttons of his baby-blue shirt undone. He'd a mole dead centre on his neck and tilted his chin back to show it off, waiting for someone to come by and offer him a match.

notes: after watching the film and being left disappointed that we didn’t get to properly explore any of the fascinating characteristics of ronnie kray, violent gangster and known homosexual, this fic was bang on.

an insight into the dangerous, volatile connection between ronnie kray and mad teddy smith, and a thrilling exploration of desire and power between two unstable men. every detail in this story was so keenly-observed and delicious to read. the writing had a poetic flow to it that i enjoyed immensely, and i read it back to back three times in a row, just trying to absorb everything on offer here.

  fandom: rocketman

 what if the birds aren’t singing, they’re screaming? by th_esaurus

rating: M

pairing: elton/bernie, elton/john

summary: He is spectacularly good at making music and spectacularly good at making mistakes.

notes: an angsty one, but such a satisfying read. so achingly full of feeling, the whole story simmers like the film's version of elton john does, with a kind of raging disappointment and dissatisfaction. there is such a vivid sense of place here, such beautiful descriptions of scenery, and every snap of elton's temper against the backdrop of these warm landscapes is so keenly felt. incredibly well-observed.

the pace and flow of it, too, the way the dialogue moves, the barbs and quips and the push-and-pull of the dynamic between elton and bernie, makes for such a compelling characterisation. there is a palpable agony in the unrequited love here that anyone would recognise. the whole thing is so well-drawn, so achingly hurtful, and utterly wonderful to read.

also, do yourself a favour and read everything th_esaurus has ever written, because it’s always incredible.

  fandom: good omens

 ad astra by drawlight - @drawlight on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: aziraphale/crowley

summary: Some things can only be said in the dark.

notes: and so we come to the good omens portion of the evening. this has been an astoundingly creative and productive fandom to be a part of, and has been a really fulfilling, satisfying place to put a lot of feelings. there are so many brilliant stories i’ve read since getting into this fandom, it’s hard to pick a few, but i’ll start with this wonderful classic. 

an incredibly-drawn portrait of the first tentative moments of something new. so beautifully full to bursting with images and ideas and feelings, so economic and poised in its language, it really sinks into the depth and detail of what makes these characters who they are, what draws them to each other, and it aches in the most heartfelt of ways.

  the lightness of you by rend_herring 

rating: E

pairing: aziraphale/crowley

summary: God should not have built them with such discrepancy, made them need for love, and long for wholeness, then left them to their own devices.

notes: this is so wonderful. the tone, the pace, the way it moves so trippingly and joyfully from thing to thing, crowley's continual internal monologue which is absolutely charming and very endearing, the lightness of the humour and at the same time the depth and breadth of feeling in this, the very concept of love and what it means to have god's love, and the love of another to fill the void. this made me have such Feelings about crowley.

also likens an orgasm to the cosmic altering of the very universe and managed to make it feel both evocative and true.

  bent to the very earth by ark – @et-in-arkadia on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: aziraphale/crowley

summary: Use me, please, Crowley had said, so Aziraphale takes him at his word.

notes: a fantastic read. i am so absolutely here for the constant shifting dynamics between these two, the things you'd expect from angels and demons, and the circumventing of those expectations in aziraphale and crowley. all of it is absolutely delicious, so well-observed and beautifully-crafted. 

written with all the humour and tenderness that makes them such enjoyable characters to read. also this is probably the key story that made me a fan of service top antony j. crowley now and forever.

lead me to the banquet hall by obstinatrix & wishwellingtons – @placetnemagistra and @scurator on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: aziraphale/crowley

summary: Crowley loves taking Aziraphale out to eat almost as much as Aziraphale loves eating, but it's always a bit of a one-sided affair. Aziraphale has never understood why.

notes: this story destroyed every single one of my corporeal cells and projected my soul directly into the ether. incredible writing. it gives me such visceral delight to read a story that puts so much effort into its reference points - all these joyful, ornamental little sprigs of detail throughout that make this universe thoroughly lived-in and a delight to experience.

the way this story deals with food - it's exceptionally, viscerally erotic, but it symbolises so many things too; love, indulgence, pleasure, deprivation, guilt. all the things that food does represent, in our daily lives. but it's somehow heightened here, used as a turning point, a metaphor, a symbol. truly one of the best things i’ve ever read.

a bookshop is not a business by anactoriatalksback - @itsevidentvery on tumblr

rating: G

pairing: aziraphale/crowley

summary: In which Aziraphale has no intention of selling books to anyone at all, let alone this infuriatingly persistent customer. No matter how nice his cheekbones are.

notes: absolutely delightful reading from start to finish. such a brilliantly witty tone, very pythonesque and also in keeping with the humour from the book, but also gives us all the added layers of gay disaster crowley and aziraphale from the tv series. i love every little detail in this, everything is just so well-crafted and funny, it’s really writing of the highest calibre. the back and forth of the dialogue between aziraphale and crowley is so enjoyable to read, with its quick, snappy, sparkling pace. wonderfully fluffy entertainment.

  classics appreciation with a.j. crowley by yolkinthejump - @yolkinthejump on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: aziraphale/crowley

summary: Aziraphale lays a temptation for Crowley. Literally: lays himself down and waits and asks for something without actually asking, as is his way. Crowley, as is his way, is happy to oblige.

notes: thorough filth of the purest kind. this is intensely gorgeous. the glorious mess of it, the physical love and joy and the depth of their need for each other just sings off the page. an ode to form, to the body, this leans into touch and physicality in such a powerful way, but maintains a poetry and lyricism which is lovely to read. aziraphale, in all his lazy luxury, and crowley, scattered and overcome – both of these characterisations were so on point. This is such a stand-out thing, decadent and intimate and so wonderfully-written.

  the curious attractiveness of others by giddygeek - @giddygeek on tumblr

rating: T

pairing: aziraphale/crowley

summary: “I’m rough,” Crowley argued. “A rough beast, and all that. Well,” he corrected himself, “an agent of the rough beast. Well, an associate. It’s all very complicated, as you bloody well know."

notes: a truly stunning piece of work that revolves around touch and the complicated sublimation of feelings that can’t be expressed. there is such a strong sense of character here, aziraphale's infinite softness in the face of crowley's wild, windmilling panic, and there’s a lushly detailed narrative full of little moments of humour that are a joy to read. 

it’s a simple and beautiful expression of their relationship taking place inside a magical, miraculous world made up of mundane, ordinary things that are elevated by the author’s gorgeous narrative. there are so many stand-out moments in this; brilliant, sharp lines, beautifully executed, establishing both world-building and character-stuff in one, fluid motion. this is choirs-of-angels levels of wonderful.

  it’s the beginning of a new age by fluorescentgrey - @yeats-infection on tumblr

rating: T

pairing: aziraphale/crowley 

summary: In August 1970, Aziraphale and Crowley attend one of the Velvet Underground's final shows at Max's Kansas City.

notes: reading this fic was like listening to a really beautiful song. the entire thing is just suffused with meaning and emotion, and there’s such a powerful evocation throughout of the feeling behind art and music and connection. It gave me shivers. there’s a weighty, beautiful power behind the words here, chosen so carefully to their greatest effect.

this fandom has some incredible, creative ways of evoking symbolism or finding parallels between religion or holiness or ecstasy of a sort with other earthly feelings (sex, desire, servitude, love) but since reading this i've not yet found such a stunning evocation of this feeling of connectedness drawn through music anywhere else. this is beyond a beautiful good omens story. this has made me project directly into emotional existentialism. also i fucking love the velvet underground.

gorgeous details, perfect turns of phrase that are so precise and ringing with humour. heavy with longing and nostalgia, a sense of time lost, change, uncertainty. this story is a goddamn piece of art.

de bono coniguali by ineptshieldmaid - @ineptshieldmaid on tumblr

rating: M

pairing: aziraphale/crowley

summary: ‘Nonsense,’ Aziraphale says, briskly, ‘Monogamy has nothing to do with it. We committed sodomy twice last Sunday.’ Crowley goes to speak, but Aziraphale is nothing if not skilled in rhetoric, and he holds up a hand, ‘which, of course, does not invalidate the sacrament; it’s rather like baptism, it can’t be reversed, but it can be defiled, and I think all authorities would agree that vigorous sodomy on Sundays defiles the sacrament of marriage.’

notes: there is a fascinating concept being explored, here, in the interpretation of religious doctrine, and about how to exist as a queer person while also being a member of a faith community. it digs into ideas of sanctity and absolution beyond the usual handwavey explanations of “goodness” and looks more deeply at what religion means, culturally, for the people who might have difficulty reconciling these different aspects of their identity.

it’s a really brilliantly-written thing. there is such an enjoyable precision to the ideas being shared through aziraphale and crowley’s conversation about religious doctrine and its application. there’s so much rich historical detail here, a neat, precise pacing of dialogue, and is full of smart, witty and interesting asides. this is a story in which the two have a very clear dynamic as established partners and lovers – their conversational back-and-forth is easy at times, and at others has to be carefully extricated, but always in a way that you can feel the years of connection there.

  fandom: the goldfinch

 A Grand Inquisition: Being an Investigation and Evaluation of Certain Things Done and Undone, Said and Unsaid, Over the Course of Many Years (or Perhaps Merely in Dreams) by m_leigh - @morgan-leigh on tumblr

rating: T

pairing: boris/theo

summary: what r u doing for Christmas this yr? Come hang with me again I have nothing going on but big as fuck bottle of vodka with as you people are saying, your name on it.

notes: this is how we wish the book had ended. reading this just absolutely floored me. the complexity of sentiments in this, the span of time and the emotions caught in it, the poetry! the boris-voice is spot on – dark, messy and crooked, while also having this kind of gamely, optimistic attitude, never lingering too long on what can’t be changed. fantastic characterisation. 

the details in the landscape and scenery around within this story were also stunning - all these different places, antwerp, amsterdam, berlin, vegas. just absolutely wonderful. economic and evocative all at once. read it and then read it again.

  the ledge by fluorescentgrey – @yeats-infection on tumblr

rating: M

pairing: boris/theo

summary: In the hotel elevator, he stared at himself in the endless mirror. Thin man (Bob Dylan chords) in black coat, with little white dog. His nose was red from coke. Eyes red from maybe something else.

notes: is it weird to cry because you love someone’s words so much? this story is like a peeling-off of layers of skin to get at all the grimy, glistening rawness of feeling underneath. reading this kind of hurts, because it focuses in on this relentless, wild careen into self-destruction, but it's more than just the subject matter that had me repeatedly covering my face and muttering ohmygod. it's the shape of this whole story, the form of it brought together exquisite writing which is unconscionably good.

every sentence flows into the next one with such precision and depth of meaning, making each next thing more compelling and subtly significant because of what came before. it's impossible to pick anything out, it feels like pulling a thread and the whole thing unravels, because everything is so closely-connected, so elaborately woven. there is an effortlessness to the detail in this, in the way we dip and weave through these seething, living landscapes, elevated by observations full of poetry and feeling.

this goes without saying probably, but please read everything fluorescentgrey writes.

  fandom: inception

 pants on fire by helenish

rating: E

pairing: arthur/eames

summary: "Ah," Yusuf says, lifting a reproving hand, "are we calling less than 24 hours of memory loss amnesia now?"

notes: finding new stories to read in throwback fandoms is such a joy. this one is absolutely outstanding. arthur and eames both find themselves experiencing bouts of amnesia, and the concept is used as a tool to explore how their relationship appears to each other without baggage or bias in such a brilliantly-executed way. 

the character exploration here is incredible, breaking open the layers of complexity of arthur and eames’ feelings and desires with such deftness. the dialogue is also marvellous, so engaging, witty and heartbreaking in turn. just an incredibly-executed, extremely compelling story. 

  breaking and entering by resonant

rating: E

pairing: arthur/eames

summary: Eames is very good at pretending.

notes: if you’re going to rewatch the film, do yourself a favour and read this afterwards. there is such fantastic detail here, and such a strength of character development, the pacing feels wonderfully measured, the story so full of life.

this is the kind of story where the author has such an enviable talent for richly-detailed, well-researched background information. the jobs they’re running, the locations they end up in, and the smaller details too – the items in a room, the clothes they wear. the world that’s built around them is tangible, and the emotion it’s infused with is too.

part of this focuses on the idea that eames being the forger/pretender archetype means he has this kind of detached observation of the disparate elements of what he’s feeling, his default mode always set to pretending and going through the motions of something without understanding the truth of it, and although it was perfectly in-character for him, it also felt like an extremely universal and human way of fumbling into relationships, which made it very moving, and a wonderful thing to read.

  fandom: harry potter

 grounds for divorce by tepre – @tepre on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: harry/draco

summary: Malfoy finds a coin. Harry finds a letter. A story about histories, a story about families. A story about a lemon tree somewhere in Upper Egypt.

notes: jesus christ this story. the detail and care with which the world is coloured-in here is just incredible. the added lore, the historical detail, the characterisation of people in the background, the thought behind the practical aspects of things like the curses and spells, the modes of travel, the administrative set-up of ministry departments, the daily grind of work, the science of potion-making, everything is so thought-through, whether it's a deeply important and relevant part to the story, or a passing detail in the background it all serves to make this thing such a rich, unique, fully lived-in world that expands out to the edges and even further, like there's even more beyond just the bounds of what this story shows us. 

this story takes us on a journey. i forget how good a good bit of angst can be, but this story reminds me of how enjoyable it can be to give yourself up to an author's hands, and let them take you somewhere dark and painful, let them unpick the misery, the hurt, the fear, the trauma, and lead you out into the light, into healing and resolution.

this story felt so starkly real, a deeper and more honest look at harry and the life he’s experienced than any bullshit nineteen years later epilogue ever did.

  the weather inside by earlybloomingparentheses - @ebp-brain on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: remus/sirius

summary: Sirius rides a flying motorbike, and snogs strangers in pubs, and strikes moody poses Remus finds irritatingly attractive. But for Remus, who drinks milky tea and wears flannel pyjamas, there's a chasm cracked right down the fault line between wanting and doing. How he wants, though. How he wants.

notes: a vividly intelligent, compelling looks at remus' desires and fantasies, at the way he navigates his own understanding of what being a werewolf means, and how it shapes him. the queer themes here are starkly present, the weight and baggage of desire, the complexity of sexuality. 

sharply melancholic at times, this is also a really lovely, deeply emotional look at the stumbling, difficult way remus and sirius eventually find a path to each other. it’s ultimately optimistic in its portrayal of love and desire, and the feeling that you can be understood, can be known, can be found. just beautiful, a real hard-hitter.

  fandom: IT

 how much more than enough for both of us by pineapplecrushface - @pineapplecrushface on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: richie/eddie

summary: Richie has tried very, very hard to get laid over the last twenty years, but something has always gotten in the way.

notes: your guess is honestly as good as mine as to how i ended up in this fandom, but here we are, and there are some truly wonderful stories to enjoy. this one is beautifully-written – the longing, the aching, the sadness, i could feel it in my bones. deals with the concept of forgetting, and supernatural horror aside, there's something really simple and human about this mortifying ordeal of going for person after person and fucking it up each time and sabotaging yourself in the search for love. well-written, lovely, simple, tender.

also you should really read everything by @pineapplecrushface - both their work in IT fandom and good omens is stunning.

  things that happen after eddie lives by ifithollers 

rating: E

pairing: richie/eddie

summary: in a world where Richie manages to save Eddie from It after the deadlights, they still have problems on their to-do list. Featuring everything from Derry to Los Angeles—Richie Tozier's murder trial, Eddie Kaspbrak's divorce proceedings, bedsharing of the platonic and non-platonic varieties, an investigation of magic, a truly disgusting séance, the quintessential morosexual road trip, and OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES.

notes: this is top-tier, next-level, Good Shit. a real satisfying slow burn full of incredible, nuanced character stuff, high-stakes drama, trial & error, with a real, tangible move towards understanding, and maybe healing. plotty, narratively compelling, manages to balance real-world, atmospherically humdrum details with some viscerally brilliant and strange supernatural elements.

also a masterclass in exploring self-loathing, trauma, and sexuality in a way that is necessarily uncomfortable, and fascinating and cathartic. the razor-fine line of being paralysed into inaction by wrecking-ball levels of want was powerfully compelling to read both as a look at a particular kind of queer-baggaged desire, and also as an exploration of who these characters are.

full of smart, brilliant banter and dialogue, i am always overwhelmingly grateful to authors who have the talent and fortitude to tackle a novel of a fic, to give us this much wonderful, quality entertainment absolutely for free. what a gift.

  the kids table by stitchy – @stitchyarts on tumblr

rating: T

pairing: richie/eddie

summary: For the most part Richie and his sister have a doctrine of mutually assured destruction. They could obliterate each other with their parents given the slightest provocation. To keep things at an even keel, they steer clear of each other as much as possible every other day of the year, but on Thanksgiving? Kids Table is like their NATO.

notes: an observation of how things change within families as time goes on - people die, people get married, people get divorced, the family dynamic changes, and there's always a really painful process of trying not to get left behind, trying to change with it, but also trying to hold on.

i’m recommending this one, but honestly, do yourselves a favour and read everything stitchy has written for this fandom. this one particularly stood out to me because i’m an absolute sucker for sibling fic, especially when it’s written like this; emotional, witty, astutely-observed, resonant.

the core of the sibling relationship between richie and his sister here is a joy to read. this is a lovely, humorous and emotional story told in a series of thanksgivings, filled with keenly-observed, vivid, details, and written in a really sharp, concise style that cuts clearly to the truth of a feeling. absolutely wonderful.

---

okay! that took forever. i hope someone finds something in there to enjoy they maybe haven’t read yet. and if you’ve got your own fic rec posts, please link me!

quick links to more recs:

good omens

harry potter

it

the goldfinch

hannibal

all other fandoms

[iberico-long-pork]

Hannibal role reversal au + serial killer Will au picks

Sleeping in the knife drawer - emungere Rating: T, Wordcount: 2.9K Tags: Role Reversal AU, Agent Lecter, Doctor Graham, Serial killer Will Plot: Hannibal is sent by Jack to recruit Will as an advisor. It takes persuading. Sample:

“You don’t use the space,” he said.

“I don’t use most of the house. How much space does one person really need?”

“Usually one’s life expands to fill the space that contains it. Unto overflowing, in some cases.”

Will walked to the window and cleared away a mass of cobwebs with his hand. 

“I’ve expanded as much as I’m likely to,” he said.

“You’ve contracted. Away from your practice in the city. Alone out here. Alana said she was the only person whom you see regularly.”

“Most people don’t like me.” Will grinned, sharp-edged and bright as a knife blade. “No idea why.”

“Do you offer to show all of them your attic?”

“No. Maybe you’re just special.”

// Spectacular dialogue, light read

Watch Your Back (There’s a New Killer in Town) - OneWhoSitsWithTurtles Rating: E, Wordcount: 73.8K Tags: Role Reversal AU, Agent Lecter, Doctor Graham, Serial killer Will, sub Hannibal, Dom Will Warnings: Exhibitionism, Knife play Sex: Versatile, mostly dom Will sub Hannibal Plot: Hannibal is sent for a psyche eval to Doctor Graham. Will decides to court him. And teach him that killing is okay. Sample: "Hannibal," Will spoke softly, drawing Hannibal's gaze back to him. Hannibal watched him as Will took a carving knife and cut a small slice of the roast off the end. Will speared the seasoned meat onto a fork and presented it to Hannibal, who balked.

"What do you fear?"

Hannibal swallowed, eyes flickering between Will's face and the meat.

"That I'll like it."

Will held the fork aside and cupped the back of Hannibal's neck with his other hand, bringing him in for a kiss. Hannibal kissed him back but his uncertainty soured the brush of their lips and Will asked, "What else?"

Hannibal looked away but Will turned his face forward again with a hinting touch to his jaw. Hannibal swallowed.

"That if I don't, you won't want me anymore."

// Amazing dom/sub relationship, good writing, good pace

Coping Mechanism - Cinnamaldeide Rating: T Wordcout: 1K Tags: Role Reversal AU, Agent Lecter (past as doctor), Doctor Graham (past as officer), Serial Killer Will Plot: Before their scheduled appointment, Special Agent Lecter and Doctor Graham share a cigarette and some friendly considerations. Sample:

He admitted his own addiction when he noticed he had a favourite brand. An indulgence Hannibal found soothing after having pursued dangerous murderers and sensitive psychopaths. Certainly not as satisfying after an amorous encounter, as was often believed. He had taken to smoke before his appointments with his psychiatrists instead, which shouldn’t have been such an easy association.

“I thought doctors were supposed to know better,” a voice distracted Hannibal from his long inhales, fume rising above his head in a slow, languorous ascent. “Don’t you know how it tarnishes your lungs?” his therapist needled, arms crossed on his chest and shoulder loosely resting on the wall. Their appointment was scheduled in a few minutes, but Mr. Graham was an observant man, knew where to find him. Knew aiming at Hannibal’s pride often proved effective.

“You know doctors are notorious for not following their own advices,” Hannibal answered, puffing a fine line of grey, volatile smoke away from him. “It prepares me for our encounters,” he offered, curious to see how Dr. Graham would process that information.

// Pleasantly slow and casually sensual. Like a breather scene in a movie.

Identically Different AU - Pragnificent Rating: E Wordcout: 243K Tags: Role Reversal AU, Agent Lecter, Doctor Graham, Serial Killer Will Warnings: Past child sexual abuse, Trauma Sex: Versatile Plot: Doctor Graham plans to influence his new fascinating not-really-patient, Agent Lecter. When Will befriends the prickly agent and invites him to dinner, he doesn’t expect him to recognise the taste of the meat he served. And that’s only the beginning. Sample:

“I’ve seen setups like this before,” Hannibal says, his mouth feeling as though it has been stuffed with cotton, “though this is the first one with feather pillows.”

“Your comfort is important to me, Hannibal.”

Hannibal doesn’t justify that with a response.

He looks around the basement. A half-empty bottle of bourbon and two snifter glasses sit on the small table next to Will. On the other end of the basement, metal tools hang from a pegboard on the wall, gleaming dangerously, and in the corner there is a large stainless steel work table with two meat hooks hanging near it.

Hannibal works on accepting what all of this means without letting it frighten him. He tries to draw on the colder version of himself, the one that kept his feelings on lockdown and didn’t worry about Will or Will’s approval.

“I meant to take things much more slowly,” Will says, and it’s hard to know if he should credit the note of apology in his voice. “But I wasn’t expecting dinner to be the thing to give me away. Hannibal, there’s something important that you haven’t been sharing in your sessions, isn’t there?”

// HEED WARNINGS (It’s not properly listed in the fic tags). Fascinating but dangerous series. Long fic.

sweet awakening - Romennium Rating: T Wordcout: 612 Tags: Role Reversal AU, Doctor Lecter, Serial Killer Will Plot: Hannibal has been getting too close to catching the prolific serial killer. Will decides to visit him in the middle of the night. Sample:

Hannibal woke up abruptly, heart in his throat. His poor organ doubled his pace in the moment his not-yet awake brain realized that his body couldn’t move. Someone was sitting astride him, completely blocking his chest and his arms.

Hannibal moved, trying to dislodge the body above him, but his attempt didn’t do anything but make the weight of the intruder press into him even more and the hand shutting his mouth moved to partially close his nose as well.

In a millisecond the air to his lungs diminished drastically and panic grew, making him believe he was suffocating. A rational part of him, but completely overwhelmed by fear, told him he wasn’t suffocating, but his lungs seemed to burn and the air, there was no air and his sight-

“Sh, sh, Doctor Lecter,” a calm and reassuring voice whispered into his ear, “calm down, Doctor.”

The hand moved away from his nose and Hannibal tried to take a deep breath.

“Yes, Doctor, that’s good, breathe, everything is okay,”

// Very short and spicy. Snack fic.

Raw Material - RubyBakeneko Rating: E, Wordcount: 3K Tags: Role Reversal AU, Doctor Lecter, Agent Graham, Serial killer Will Sex: Top Will, Bottom Antony Dimmond Plot: Betrayed by his psychiatrist, serial killer Will Graham escapes to Italy. There, he reflects on the nature of his relationship with Hannibal, and he meets someone who provides him with an opportunity to work through some of his issues. Sample:

Will misses him terribly and without respite, the weight of his heartache a miserable fury that makes him feel ill. He imagines they are together in bed, that he is pressed up against the heat of Hannibal’s back with a possessive arm draped around his shoulder. He dominates Will’s dreams, which are by turn so luridly explicit that he comes in his sleep and so painfully romantic that he wakes in tears.

Hannibal has survived Will, the way few have done before him. He might arrive in Italy any day now, to kill Will or to kiss him. His heart races at the thought of either.

He silently dares Hannibal to find him. I’m here. Come and get me. // Poor Antony, I hoestly really love that character. Light read

+++ ( ‘Hannibal is Hannibal’ fics)

Wolfman - Cadaverish Rating: E, Wordcount: 38K Tags: Canon Divergence, Serial killer Will, Serial killer Hannibal Sex: versatile Plot: The Biloxi Wolfman has a crush on The Chesapeake Ripper. Hannibal doesn’t know that. But he does have an interest in Will Graham. (In which Hannibal wastes time trying to bring Will to the dark side when Will already has lower moral standards than Hannibal) Sample:

Gideon has paused obligingly to peer out the window set into the front door, likely checking for police sirens or curious neighbors, but all it really accomplishes is giving Will the chance to take several long strides, closing the distance between himself and Gideon. He allows his last step to connect loudly with the hardwood floor and Gideon starts, turning around to look at him. 

“Special Agent Graham,” he drawls and Will gives him a grin that has nothing human behind it.

// Tfw Hannibal actually has higher moral standards than Will OvO

Astronomical odds - xzombiexkittenx Rating: M, Wordcount: 2.5K Tags: Pre-Season AU, Serial killer Will, Serial killer Hannibal Sex: Mutual handjob Plot: Based on the joke: ‘ Picked up a hitchhiker last night. He said, “Thanks! how do you know I’m not a serial killer though?” I replied, “The chances of two serial killers being in the same car are astronomical.” ‘ Sample:

There’s a knife strapped to his ankle, a loaded gun in his bag, and he’s not above using his teeth if he has to. He also has mace. He met a nice butch lesbian truck driver who picked him up off Interstate 20, drove him as far as Abilene, bought him dinner, and insisted on giving him her mace. She’d been so worried about him and his ‘pretty face.’”

“Honey,” she’d said, over burgers and shitty diner coffee, “girls like you find trouble without even looking. Take it for my peace of mind.”

He’d realized she thought he was a sex worker. Will hadn’t tried to change her opinion of him. No one was looking for a serial truck stop male prostitute. He’d run that angle for a while, down in Louisiana, but it was too much trouble. The clothing was hard to hunt in, and he didn’t like men pawing at him while he got them to the secondary location.

He wonders if Hannibal thinks he’s a sex worker. Hannibal has nicely manicured nails, strong-looking hands, and fantastic arms. Will’s not sure he’d complain if Hannibal made a move on him. He hasn’t decided if he wants to kill Hannibal or not but on balance he also hasn’t decided if he wants to try for a roadside quickie or not.

// Honestly hilarious. They make inside jokes thinking the other’s not getting it, and run into each other at a body dumping site. Light fun read.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

HPHM Prediction/Headcanon - The Looming Love Triangle

It’s no secret that the majority of the Hogwarts Mystery fandom wanted to romance their favorite characters, and Jam City answered our call with the Celestial Ball and First Date Side-Quests. But the side-quests have always been something of a divergent canon. Even if you pick the same character for both events, they don’t become your significant other in the canon story-line. The canon has basically steered clear of romance altogether. 

Well, for the most part. 

“I’ve never told anyone this, but I fancy her.” 

Hey, remember that line? Whatever happened with that sub-plot, anyway? If you tell Jae that you fancy Penny, the game proceeds to have MC confess to her, without player input, at the worst possible time - the only way to canonize your feelings for Penny is to put even more stress on her shoulders. When MC confesses to her, she reasonably points out that she’s too worried about Beatrice to even think about who she has a crush on. However, MC and Penny agree to have that conversation later, once Beatrice is safe. 

Then...nothing. MC and Penny never have that conversation, even after Beatrice is rescued. Sure, come sixth year, Penny is still worried about her sister for all new reasons. Plus, MC has enough on their platter trying to track Jacob and Rakepick, as well as keeping Merula and “New” Ben in check. But there isn’t even a mention of this sub-plot. 

And it’s not like there wasn’t an opportunity, either. 

At the end of Year Five, MC has a scene with Penny and Beatrice. They bring out the stuffed Puffskein that Beatrice made for them. Penny thanks MC for rescuing her, and offers sympathy for what happened in the Underground Vault. At this point in the story, Beatrice is safe, and still mostly acting like her old self. She hasn’t pulled away from Penny. She hasn’t gone Goth-Beatrice yet. So this would have been the perfect opportunity for MC and Penny to talk about their feelings for each other. But it doesn’t happen. Penny’s promise amounts to nothing. Choosing to fancy Penny amounts to nothing.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Jam City originally planned to involve romance in the main story of Year Five, more than they ultimately did. At the same time that MC can confess to Penny, we get dialogue options like asking Hagrid what he knows about romance, and Diego asking if we have a crush. This is all in-story. I suspect that romance was going to feature more prominently in Year Five’s narrative, but the developers ultimately changed their minds and put these events into Timed Side-Quests instead. Which leaves Penny the only character that we can canonically crush on, but even doing so goes nowhere. It almost seems like the developers hope that MC/Penny shippers will be satisfied with the dating side-quests, and just want everyone to forget about that sub-plot. 

Then of course...there’s Merula. 

I’m gonna say something that might offend people outside of the Pro-Merula crowd. I’m gonna say something controversial, and brave - Jacob’s Sibling canonically finds Merula attractive. I don’t say this to step on anyone’s head-canons, or interpretations of their own MC. I don’t say this to anger the Anti-Merula crowd. But it’s there in the text. Which isn’t to say that they’re in love with Merula, or that the ship is canon. Just that a certain attraction is there, and that’s clear from the flavor text in Care of Magical Creatures. From MC dwelling on Merula’s “elusive” scent and trying to figure out what it is...to comparing her to creatures and referring to her as “Dangerous, guarded, and weirdly cute.” To MC literally drawing her as different magical creatures.These things aren’t based on player choices, they happen regardless. 

In general, the ship-tease between these two characters has been off-the-charts. I don’t say that as a Merula/MC fan, I say it as someone who can pick up on cues. Everywhere you turn, there are lines like “I’ve never seen you this angry before. I like it.” and “I always knew you liked having me around.” Don’t even get me started on the “Merula Snyde Infatuation” scene. Penny may have the most exposure, but Merula is, or was, an antagonist - which allows her to directly affect the story in more dynamic ways. It creates a relationship that is essentially everything Drarry fans ever wanted. By the time we reach the chapter “About Merula” the development of MC’s relationship with Merula is unmatched. 

And then, she met Jacob.

In addition to everything else, retreating back into her shell and going through PTSD after the events of the Portrait Vault, Merula has found herself a new crush. Jacob hasn’t been back for long, but he’s managed to single-handedly infuriate half of the HPHM Fandom by being the new object of Merula’s affections, even though he barely acknowledges her existence. Several people consider this the final straw with Merula, and are jumping ship. But if you think this is Jam City trying to make the MC/Merula pairing less popular, think again. 

Because for the second time in the game, the player has the opportunity, in-story, to canonize romantic feelings for another character. And of course, it’s Merula. She asks point-blank if you’re jealous of her fancying Jacob, and you can say yes. The Dating Side-quests, if you’ve completed them and romanced Merula, will get a mention. But they aren’t required or anything. Now in Year Six, players can confess romantic feelings to Merula. That’s why their doing this. Merula’s crush on Jacob is nothing more than a means to an end, a plot device used to further the relationship of an MC/Merula pairing for the players who want that.  Come on, you really think they’re going to make Merula and Jacob end-game? He’s like, six years older than her and they’ve held maybe one conversation. Jam City has made their mistakes in the past, but I think they’re smarter than that. 

But what happens if you canonize a crush on Merula, after doing the same thing for Penny? 

Probably nothing, right? Guess again. Players thought nothing of it when they asked different characters out for the First Date TLSQ than they did for the Celestial Ball. The character that the Player leaves behind feels jealous and hurt. (Unless you picked Ismelda, Ben, or Rowan. For whatever reason, Jam City seems to have withdrawn them as potential love-interests and ret-conned the Celestial Ball into being a “just-friends” type of date for those three characters. I’m sure the shippers are so grateful for that, JC...) My point being that they’ve surprised us in the past with this sort of thing. I fully expect Penny and Jacob’s Sibling to revisit the conversation they had in fifth year, for Players who chose to fancy her. And for Players who have since chosen to fancy Merula, don’t be surprised if there are consequences for it. 

What I’m saying is, there’s going to be a love triangle. 

Maybe it will be relegated to a side-quest, but I doubt it. I’m expecting both Penny and Merula to admit feelings for Jacob’s Sibling, and in-story, the Player will have the opportunity to choose between them. Or choose neither. For players who prefer other characters, or would rather have their MC remain single, they’ll need to have that option as well. Expect Penny, Merula, or both of them to call you out if you admitted feelings on both occasions the game let you. 

It just makes sense. Jam City has been giving special attention to Merula and Penny from the beginning, and portraying them as foils of each other, similar to how Rowan and Ben foil each other. But if all of this isn’t proof enough for you, then I refer you to the time Jam City uploaded the image below, with the caption “If you could only choose one...” 

CHECKMATE

[tetrakys]

MCLUL 18

The episode starts where the previous one had left: either in Nath’s flat if you decided to follow Amber, or in Castiel’s if you didn’t. Either way, Candy goes to Nath’s place after Amber calls her and the same dialogue unfolds. Nath explains that he has been back in town for weeks because Erik, his cop friend, tracked him down as soon as he’d left and they are now working together to collect enough evidence to dismantle the cartel for good. He’s playing the bait (hence the traffic light-looking attire) and wearing a wire under his clothes. He leaves soon after saying that he will be back once he’s done with this dangerous mission.

The rest of the episode is mostly about university work, the last we will ever see. First, Candy practices her presentation with Rosa, Morgan and Alexy. We assist a fight between the two lovebirds that soon morphs into a sweet declaration of love. Later, Candy keeps practicing alone first and later with Yeleen (if you chose it).

We also attend Rayan’s final class. The first part is about the group work, each group reports their experience. I thought this whole group work sub-plot was going to lead to something, either a mini-arc for Chani, where she learns to be less of a perfectionist and shows her art to the world, or some kind of drama with Melody, or at least something important for the degree. It was all very tepid, almost as if the writers had changed their mind and dropped it from the plot. The second part of the class is, instead, about relaxation techniques in the park. Because it makes total sense in a modern art history course.

After all this, Candy goes to the café to tell Clemence she is going to quit soon. Clemence tells her to not rush into this decision because there’s no job for history of arts majors and she may end up having to keep working as a waitress (charming as usual, but also strangely nice?). Also, an improbable friendship is born when Clemence shows lots of interest in Chani’s magical aptitude.

That evening Nina sends a text saying she’s witnessed the cops arresting her assailant, and Candy and Priya have a discussion about Nath and what that could mean for him.

The day of the thesis discussion Candy is very stressed, but she finds Castiel outside the class and he helps giving her relaxation technique tips. She also gets a little spooked finding Rayan in the class (I don’t see why? Seems pretty normal to me). Anyway, time-skip to the end of the exam and Candy is pretty satisfied with herself. She even buys Chani a crystal as a thank you for her support and encouragement for her own exam.

In the evening Candy attends a party Hyun has thrown to celebrate the end of the academic year. She had also invited her parents and the illustration shows the moment she introduces the LI to them. Everyone except Nath. Having sneaked into the café’s kitchen, his illustration portrays the moment he tells Candy he’s finally free from the Cartel.

The episode ends in the middle of the party.

THE END

Now let’s go into more detail on everyone’s route:

Here, I’m saying it... Nath is always 100% bangable. Even like this, once the problematic leggings and the blinding yellow t-shirt are off, there’s really nothing to talk about.

I found the resolution of Nath’s route very anticlimactic, happening off screen. If Candy got somehow involved however, it would’ve probably been quite trashy and ridiculous so there was really no win in this crazy scenario. It just feels they dragged too long, only to create angst, something that they resolved with just a few words and no involvement on our part. If MCL is indeed ending in a couple of episodes, this was basically the main recurring plot-line of the whole season and it fell short, at least for me.

Him acting as a bait... let’s say it was fine, he showed some courage. But there are two things that didn’t make sense for me (in this episode): firstly, his explanation to why the cartel didn’t simply kill him, because they thought it was easier to pull off a mugging than a murder, especially if the victim was a snitch. REALLY? What does it even mean. These people were really kind drug lords: first hiring a young boy out of nowhere, then beating him up when they found out he had betrayed them instead of killing him, even giving him three days to say goodbye and skip town, and later exposing themselves enough letting him stay in town for weeks instead of killing him on the spot. Also, second thing, shouldn’t he have cut a deal with the police for his immunity BEFORE he helped them? They would’ve given him pretty much anything to shut down a whole drug cartel. I don’t know Nath, you should be so smart, at least get a lawyer next time.

A round of applause to Candy for spilling the beans with everyone about Nath’s dangerous and super-secret plan 👏👏👏

The reunion with Nath, if you are on his route, is cute and pretty emotional. She falls on the floor, overwhelmed, and he kisses her and reassures her. All this in front of Amber. The scene in the kitchen at the end of the episode, however, was a little less emotional than I would’ve liked. Especially the illustration, there was NO NEED to include Amber in it. 

I did appreciate the choice to not introduce him immediately to the parents, it really wasn't the right time.

Bae is particularly charming when he laughs and smile. Both a hottie and a cutie, he’s the whole package.

I think BV tried to apologise for the lack of Castiel’s content in the previous episode, because this time we had plenty, well... more than with had the others.

After the scene in Nath’s flat, he takes us to the dorms on every route, but if you are on his route you can choose to spend the night at his place. To find an excuse so they wouldn’t hook up, BV wrote that Candy feels dizzy and they just cuddle. She’s not dizzy on any other route, just tired. And now that I’m writing these words I’m having an AWFUL SUSPICION THAT I DON’T EVEN WANT TO WORD EXPLICITLY, please no... just no.

His relaxation technique was funny, pretending to be super confident, but if you’re his girlfriend he gives Candy a breathtaking kiss right before the final exam that ensures victory for both of them.

His meeting with the parents is super chill, my Candy and him were together in HS, so they remembered him and love him already, not sure if anything changes otherwise but I guess not. Philips goofs in front of him, dancing horribly joking that he should be on his next music video and they all laugh (except maybe Candy, but it’s a happy moment nonetheless).

Crack and Rum, Castiel’s band name according to mom 😂

Now, I left the bad part for last:

Yeleen touches Castiel’s arm while talking to him in front of the café on any route. Even if he’s not our boyfriend I wanted to clock her. B*tch there is a strict NO TOUCHING policy here. But when he’s our boyfriend I timidly told Castiel that the parents were coming AND I LOST 10 FREAKING POINTS!!! What. The. Hell. Should I fight with him too? I feel like I should. This requires a heated conversation!

The green dress is super hot, and Candy is a total snack, but she’s just one small accident away to show her nipples to the world. (Surfboard my ass, Castiel)

As usual there’s very little to say about Hyun’s route. He’s excited to meet the parents and doesn’t realise they were already there, so he keeps blubbering Candy about their summer trip and kisses Candy in front of them. When he figures out he gets bashful, but they all laugh it off.

Honorable mention to Philip for not knowing where Slovenia is. SERIOUSLY?? 

Look at this fierce power couple, it looks like they’re about to conquer the world or rob a bank. Probably both.

Was it the right moment to spill the beans about their relationship in the middle of a college party. No. But did I enjoy their power walk, hand in hand, in the middle of the crowd? YES.

The parents’ reaction could’ve been worse. Philip could’ve gone ballistic. We didn’t see the “man-to-man chat”, probably because it was a tricky one to write, it could’ve sounded either ridiculous or trashy. Kudos to BV for taking the coward way out and skipping the problem altogether.

Rayan said that he loved her and it was sweet. However, Candy talking about how much she's into him in front of Sweet Amoris knowing that that is my Lys account felt like being sucker punched.

Also, Rayan got a tenure track position. I. Hate. Him. (I’m not envious, not at all)

Priya tearing up when Candy tells her that she wants to be with her completely is probably THE MOST FREAKING CUTE THING I’VE EVER SEEN. Cuter than cat videos. (But less cute than duckling videos. There’s nothing cuter than a baby duck).

The parents are happy to meet Priya, zero drama in Candy’s coming out, I found it refreshing, I don’t think I would’ve enjoyed a bad reaction (even a short one). They even all dance together until late night. The illustration shows Priya accepting Philip’s challenge at a sort of dance-off.

A few final comments:

I didn’t understand aunty’s comments about a masked party at the end of the school year, is that a French thing?

Philip not knowing where Slovenia is, and Hyun having to explain that it’s an European country, makes me think that they’re trying to convince us the game is not set in France. Mph.

I also wonder where Hyun’s parents live exactly. It can’t be Korea since Hyun goes back home all the time, even just for a weekend.

Everything points out to the end of the story being about a new separation, everyone moving away to achieve their own future.

Alexy is probably going to follow Morgan to Washington.

Rosa is moving to the beach house (which is not very far, but not exactly in town either).

Yeleen is excited to live in London. (The girl is going to get a HUGE wake-up call the moment she realises that apartments here are tinier than her dorm room, quite bad and life is so expensive that (if she doesn’t want to accept money from her mother) with a tourist guide salary she’s probably going to afford only a tiny room, in the middle of nowhere, in a flat shared with 10 other people).

Castiel is going on tour.

Hyun will probably want to move closer to his family after the trip.

Nath may or may not go to jail.

Priya wants to go back to India to fight social injustice.

Rayan is the only one staying in town for sure.

I GUESS, after some angst about a possible separation and break-up, the series is going to end with Candy making a life choice that brings her closer to her crush.

Anyway, the end is coming and I’m sad.

[fuse2dx]

August ‘20

Ruiner

Ruiner frames its action at an isometric tilt. There’s a lot of red; in the game’s interface, as the prominent colour of the neon lighting that adorns its stages, and in the blood that is frequently spilled. Its cyberpunk setting isn’t anything particularly new, but as a unifying aesthetic, the glitchy effects, and out-there personalities doing their best to cope in a dystopia do well to build a convincing and intriguing world. Stages are action packed and throb with electronic noise and big loud industrial bass hits, with the play being akin to an arena shooter; enemies surging at you in bite size, minute-at-a-time waves, with each of these closing out with a grading screen serving as the pat on the back to keep that dopamine rhythm pulsing. It’s a pretty hypnotic cocktail.

These stages evolve out of a singular hub city, and while it’s not particularly big, there’s just the right level of hubbub, and it has a lovely Hirusawa Susumu track acting as an excellent, melancholic mood-setter. Based on the size of its world and the the quick-fire action being split between a very small number of stages, it’s not surprising to say it’s fairly brief - I mean, how could it get so big? But what is important is that it’s plenty of fun and and has style by the bucketload. I got a good kick out of it.

Carrion

On one hand, a horror game where you play the horror is just the kind of flip on a genre that’s needed to freshen things up a bit. On the other, it’s one straight out of the spoof ‘Peter Molydeux’ playbook. What a carri-on.

... I’m sorry. After your initial escape from a lab, Carrion centres around a hub world, with individual stages then breaking off to allow for more specific themed stages. What you’re trying to do within these is to spread your big, goopy self around, where certain spots will act as save points but also count toward unlocking an alternative path back to the hub and opening up new routes in the process. What’s unique to this particular metroidvania take is that while there are new skills that open up new routes, your movement in general is uniquely freeform - point in a direction and off you go, free of any worries about platforming and the gravity that’d otherwise bind you. While it may not be the most precise movement given the size to which you grow - and boy does this become a point during some forms of combat - it does remain responsive, and quite fun to simply shamble about like a giant congealed blob of bloody, multi-toothed sinew-y mess. Everything scales up nicely on both sides of the fighting, with distraught pistol-equipped humans turning to shielded folks with flamethrowers, all the way up to drones and mechs that are just as mobile and / or deadly as yourself, even in spite of your own upgrades that allow for more ranged, varied, and sharper extremities. It’s not especially long, and is never so taxing as to demand too much expertise of you, but it is fun and importantly, quite unlike anything else out there.

Yoku’s Island Express

Pinball continues to feel like a lost art form to me, with the nuance of skilled play being more like a foreign language than another type of game you can easily pick up. Yoku, newly-appointed postmaster, is but a tiny little bug, and as such is indebted to these skills in his efforts to travel and clamber about an environment much larger than he. Flippers are casually littered about to shoot you from one area to the next, but there’s also plenty of sections you’re led to by the story that are small yet just detailed enough to play like a neatly sectioned off area of a complete table - complete with requirements for precise shots to move forward, and those inevitable moments where you have to sit back and watch as your ball falls with miserable, exacting precision between the flippers. Failure typically sets you back a few pickups, but given these are just as quickly re-earned, you’re never punished too hard - there’s certainly no three strikes and out mentality here. It’s a very friendly interpretation of pinball’s mechanics, and there’s a decent enough story layered on top, with its characters and art demonstrating enough pleasant charm that you can definitely see this being a great way to introduce pinball to a younger audience. That’s not to say it’s not enjoyable from an older player’s point of view - just that you know what’s being presented is a wisely palatable version of a classic hobby, rather than the arse-kicking ordeal you may be used to. 

Rime

I am certain that Rime would love me to compare it to a certain Fumito Ueda PS2 game. There’s the ultra-minimal scene that’s set as a boy washes up on an island; a sparse, beautiful, somewhat Mediterranean set of landscapes, and with very few ways to interact with it all that don’t involve clambering over things or shouting out in wordless desperation. But as you’ll have noted, I haven’t found it in myself to justify using that game’s name here. 

As much as I wanted to give this a chance, it often felt directionless, uninspired, and at worst, slow and tedious. The puzzles are derivative of any number of games I’ve played before, and the biggest danger is that you might assume as to their difficulty and over-engineer your approach, rather than not be able to tackle them. The platforming is simplistic and regularly drawn out with ledges, ledges, and more ledges to climb across and dangle from; even if you were to find a way to fall to your doom, as is tempting, it is unlikely to take you back much further than a few seconds. Crucially, there’s really very little to sink your teeth into on any front, and even when the game does finally start to weave some plot threads into the game’s canvas, it’s well into the latter half - long after I’d already racked my brains for any hint of an allegory that’d fit, and given up on expecting one. Sadly, to the point that the actual story felt like a cheap afterthought when it did finally start to unravel. This bounced off me much harder than I’d expected - I came away wishing it had forged a bit more of an identity and a purpose rather than just an aesthetic strung together with some weak elements of play. 

If Found

As far as interactive elements in visual novel-type games go, If Found has a different approach to most. The story’s primarily told by means of a diary - one that’s full of witty observations, personal reflections and enigmatic sketches - that you actively erase as a means to push events along. The diary belongs to Kasio, a trans girl returning to their small Irish hometown after a stint away at university in the city; a return that’s not met in the warmest or most understanding fashion. As a mechanic, the erasure of this diary is loaded with meaning; peeling back layers of a scene often matches a more poignant set of observations, and the scrubbing of such personal details away offers a painful reflection on an identity being chipped away at. It’s very much a story about finding one’s self, about coming of age, and as it rides these highs and lows it does an excellent job in making you ride along these alongside the characters, and it does one hell of a job to make you think about the compassion that you both see and offer in the world outside. I’ll put my hands up and say that there are some elements of the story running in parallel to this main one that didn’t gel with me quite so well, but this is a minor footnote to an otherwise highly enjoyable play through. In a short space of time, Annapurna have done a great job in winning me over with their publishing choices - particularly in holding up the kinds of voices and ideas that fit these smaller titles so perfectly. 

Double Kick Heroes

It’s a rhythm game. I like rhythm games! It’s about a zombie apocalypse. Oh no. It’s... a heavy metal rhythm game? Ok, maybe we can work with this.

After a trailer name dropping a bunch of familiar artists - Jinjer, Carpenter Brut, Gojira - what surprised me straight off was that none of these licensed artists featured in the game’s story mode. They’re all sectioned off in a separate menu, and while on the bright side they’ve each given a unique stage with a visual theming in keeping with the bands in question, it feels like a bit of a missed opportunity. Instead, all tracks throughout the story were composed by just one person, and with only a small handful of featured musicians being included to diversify things. It starts with more (arguably) palatable hard rock numbers, but goes up to and includes grindcore, death metal, black metal and the like, meaning that not only is it going to put a lot of folks off right away, but that it’s asking a heck of a lot for one composer to cover all of these sub-genres with the appropriate care. While it was refreshing to hear some types of music I’d normally not expect to hear in a game, some tracks inevitably grated, and while I enjoyed some others, I wasn’t ever bowled over too strongly either.

The story itself is fairly by the numbers. It sees an on-tour band fighting back against a zombie uprising, and has unsubtle references to any number of heavy artists, albums and songs shoe-horned in at every opportunity. It also bears the hallmarks of its dialogue being written by someone that has a very particular sense of humour which personally all fell very flat. While the team undoubtably do love music, the over-enthusiastic style rubbed me in a similarly uncomfortable fashion as Jack Black does regularly, with his half-comedian, half-musician schtick. The gameplay itself is based around the drum parts of its songs also corresponding to different weaponry on your car that holds the hordes back, and while this on its own can prove tricky, higher difficulties also mounts other expectations - like steering your vehicle, or alternating pedals to shoot different parts of the screen. Some of my frustration with all of this is likely my own fault for having chosen to play on the ‘Hard’ difficulty, but traditional wisdom feels a little bit lost when you can still get damaged when your combo meter is racked up well into triple digits.

In all, Double Kick Heroes presented some pretty unique gaming scenarios; like having to work out the best controller configuration to play blast beats with, or asking out loud “did I just hear the words ‘we are Genital Absolution’ coming from a Nintendo console?”, and it’s clearly a small team working on something they really care about. I respect that. I didn’t enjoy it as much as I was hoping, but I hope they’re proud of what they’ve created.

Manifold Garden

A puzzle game taking significant inspiration from the works of M.C. Escher is a pretty good starting point in my eyes. It being presented in a wonderful manner certainly doesn’t harm either; from the UI all the way into the game, it’s beautifully clean and defined, opting for delicate shading rather than messy textures, and with its intricate, recursive geometric patterns, you’ll likely find cause to stop and take stock on a regular basis.

One button looks after your basic interactions with the world (pushing, picking up, and so on), with your other crucial way of interacting with the world being the ability to approach a surface and then assign it as ‘the new down’ - spinning everything about an axis, planting your feet to it, and changing your perspective on everything. There’s a nice steady introduction of puzzle pieces as you ease your way in, but they all stem gracefully from these simple mechanics. That I - not the world’s greatest puzzle gamer - was able to enjoy this without every getting too stuck may hint at it perhaps not being as complex as some puzzle fiends might desire, however this amounted to me coming out the other side with great waves of satisfaction, and nought but positives to say. I would go so far as to say that it’s the most fun I’ve had playing a puzzle game in a long, long time, and to boot it’s also perhaps the game where I’ve used the screenshot button the most copiously. Wonderful stuff.

[lladmie]

Auberon's death: canon!lore speculations

I was reading for the umpteenth time the Aen Elle chapter in the book "The Lady of the Lake", and something started to caught my attention...

The short sub-story of the Aen Elle is the most unsolved one. A lot of questions and mysteries still hang in the air. The death of Auberon, for example, the old king of the Aen Elle. It was retconed in the games, that made us believe Eredin was without a doubt the cold killer, but in the book... it's way more shady than that. I have a few hypothesis and I want to start with the one I find the most plausible right now.

Auberon killed himself

“Undoubtedly,” he began slowly, “you already know little enough about Auberon. You certainly already noticed that he is ambitious. There are things that he’ll never accept, never take note of. He’d rather die.”

Let's start here. This was the first alarm, and the first suggestion. It's a very important line: Eredin here is basically saying that Auberon won’t accept that he is unable to impregnate Ciri, and that he actually thinks that dying is better than a total failure.

It was Ciri who assumed immediately that the bottle was poison and later that Eredin killed Auberon. But Ciri didn't trust Eredin at all, we can even say she had real prejudices toward him for a whole lot of reasons I won't analyze in this post. But she didn't trust him, didn't like the way he acted, and her little childish infatuation made her think (and even hope deep down) that he was going to abuse her soon. That maybe he wanted to replace Auberon. And shit, it's so funny to think that she was so afraid about Eredin's intentions and at the same time asked Avallac'h to impregnate her without concern and he was the one who almost chocked her. Eredin would have probably laugh lol

Interesting to notice that, to that point onward, Auberon started to act with more and more impatience and rage. He was trying everything to have sex with Ciri: porn, drugs... and nothing worked.

“Despite all,” spoke the king, “I resent dying, Zireael. And I find it terribly sad that it has to happen. Who would have thought. I thought that I would have no regrets. I have lived a long life, I have known everything. I’m bored of it all… However, now I feel regret.”

Auberon was calm, controlled. He wasn’t surprised, he wasn’t acting as if someone killed him. He admitted that he was bored of living and thought that he would have died without regrets. Without being sad. He didn’t expect that he would have felt resentment toward his own death. Honestly, this makes me think of a suicide.

“He overdosed on the stimulant you gave him. Or was it meant to do something else entirely?” “What are you talking about?” “He’s dead.” He quickly shook off his surprise [...]

Eredin seemed genuinely surprised to learn about Auberon’s death. He was not faking it, there is no way.

Auberon, though, drank the potion. So how could it have killed him if the bottle wasn't poison to begin with? Was it another bottle? Seems too far-fetched. Of course, there is a possibility that it was just an incident. An overdose due to the fact that Auberon was using drugs and mixed them with it, or he was too old or too weak for a strong aphrodisiac. Or...

Eredin killed Auberon

Everyone, I think, has thought about this possibility, not only because the game went for this option or because Ciri herself wasn’t convinced of Eredin’s innocence (not even after his reaction), but because Eredin was the one with the bottle in hand and the entire dynamic seems a little... strange and secretive, to say at least.

He asked Ciri to follow him and talk with him in private. Then, he immediately framed the other elves as liars and deliberately told Ciri she won’t leave the planet—ever, not even if she does what she needs to, simply because they don’t want to let her go. But Eredin doesn’t want it either, only... we discover this much later.

He was saying Ciri’s situation was hopeless: they won’t let her go and Auberon didn’t even want to cooperate, because he’s ambitious. While Eredin didn’t care, didn’t think Ciri was important, and so he offered his help, another deal, this time with him. Assuring her that she will be victorious independently of what the bottle contains. But he didn’t clarify what it actually contained, didn’t even bother to explain, despite threatening Ciri about her assuptions. And why didn’t he say what the bottle contained and try to pass through Ciri and not Auberon directly?

Now, or Eredin is really naive to the point he’s easily misunderstood—something he doesn't give me the impression to be, because he even seemed to know she had a crush on him and was acting on it—and the scene was written in a weak and intentional deceitful way, or it's honestly stinky. Because a person who has nothing to hide won't talk like that.

All the dialogues can be read in a way or another. Auberon could be resentful that he's dying without having control over it. He's calm because he's an elf. Eredin could have been aware that Auberon wanted to die and took advantage of that, he was the one saying he'd rather die after all.

“We are going back, Zireael. Auberon is waiting. I assure you that tonight he will be lively and full of vigor.”

This little sentence could be innocent, simply an excuse to take Ciri back, but it could also be the proof that he actually gave the bottle to Auberon that very day. That he knew Auberon had it, but he clearly didn't know Ciri went to Auberon already. His surprise is very brief, though still a clear evidence of his innocence. But he didn't argue against it, it’s a simple and shallow reaction for something so important.

Eredin’s characterization is also very interesting. His nature is uncharacteristic for an elf. He’s the only elf in the bunch of the Aen Elle that was presented as impatient, for instance. His presence in the whole affair wasn’t so explicit and obvious as that of Auberon and Avallac’h, that are also personal involved. He was playing his own games, breaking useful lies and dealing with Ciri alone in his preferred style. Just an helper or something more?

The last possibility is that

Avallac'h killed Auberon instead 

This is something I see some people enjoy to think because he's so foxy—to the point that everything could be his fault, he could be the mastermind behind the entire plot, basically, if we overthink it... well, he actually might be. Being the cunning and clever brain he is, Avallac’h’s probably the most dangerous of the Aen Elle. But this is a leap in the void. There is not even a single clue that make us assume it could be his doing. Probably the only suspicious sign is his disappearance; suspicious, sure, but it tells us everything and nothing at all (especially because he fought with Ciri the day before). Eredin comparing his new method to Avallac'h's—" Much more effective than the attractors Avallac'h's servants put in your cosmetics."—kind of contradict that he could possibly be involved, too. He didn’t even slightly suggest that his plan was Avallac’h’s or that he was acting on his instruction. Together with the fact that Avallac'h seemed to believe Auberon should absolutely be the father of the child (so much that he snapped at the thought that Ciri could say something in front of the king that she shouldn't say) make it seems unlikely. But well, he is a suspicious candidate nonetheless.

Everything is possible. Thanks for reading! If you notice some differences in the dialogues, that’s because I tried to translate the majority of them from the italian version.

[howdoyousayghibli]

Ashitaka and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Boar

To say that Princess Mononoke (1997) has a lot going on is an understatement; as Wikipedia puts it, this is a “Japanese animated epic historical fantasy war film,” and it has a lot to say about violence, environmentalism, and imperialism.

For those who haven’t seen it, the briefest of summaries: After being cursed by a rampaging demon, young Ashitaka seeks a cure from a forest god, only to be caught up in a conflict between the forest spirits, an industrial town, and the forces of the Japanese empire.

I think there’s a lot in this movie that, even after three viewings, goes over my head — and a lot of that comes from the fact that this movie is very rooted in Japanese history and culture. In my opinion, it’s still enjoyable and valuable to people without that background, but I imagine there’s got to be something lost in translation. Before I get into that, though: is this a good movie?

Movie Good Y/N

Are you kidding? It’s Princess Mononoke. This movie is an achievement. On a technical level, the animation is astounding even by Ghibli standards. There’s one or two effects (ok, exactly two digital effects) that haven’t aged particularly well since 1997, when I’m sure they were groundbreaking, but on the whole this is a beautiful movie. Every scene is replete with striking imagery. This film represents director Hayao Miyazaki at the top of his game.

Princess Mononoke also features a large cast of fully realized characters. Like most Ghibli movies, there isn’t an obvious villain to be defeated; unlike most Ghibli movies, that’s because most of the characters are villains in one way or another. This movie really leans into gray morality and the idea that violence taints all parties involved, but that message could have come across as cynical or preachy if the characters felt like they only existed to demonstrate this idea.

Instead, the murky morality feels like a natural extension of the well-written characters. People have conflicting interests and the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and that really comes across here. If you rescue society’s outcasts and treat them like real human beings, but you put them to work in support of something terrible, are you a good person or a bad person? This is the kind of question that Princess Mononoke will leave in your brain, like a grain of sand in an oyster.

Yes, But: The Dub

Unfortunately, Princess Mononoke is not a perfect movie — at least, not in the form I first saw it in. To be blunt, the English dub for this movie is not great. You’ll find no general judgements here on the virtues of subs versus dubs, but in the specific case of Princess Mononoke, I really have to recommend watching it in Japanese with English subtitles.

Part of the problem is some odd choices in translation — even the English name of the movie, "Princess Mononoke", is a bit misleading*. A lot of the dialogue is oddly repetitive as well, with lines like “Shut up! Stop that noise! I’m trying to do accounts so be quiet!” and “Yup, I suppose, yeah.” Watching it with subtitles shed some light on things that sounded a bit odd the first time around. The shoddy translation is especially disappointing after having just watched Whisper of the Heart, which has great dialogue throughout.

However, the bulk of the reason for watching it with Japanese audio is that the English voice acting for Jigo the monk, a major role in the movie, is just awful. If you’ve ever heard someone translating live, it should sound familiar — as if they’re just rushing to keep up with the material they’re translating and have no time to inject emotion or personality. It’s made all the more jarring by the expressive face of the character; there’s a complete disconnect between his voice and his face that brings the entire movie down whenever he’s on screen.

The rest of the English cast members do as well as they can with the sometimes clunky translations they had to work with. Claire Danes in particular does a good job in her leading role as San, lending a Carrie Fisher-esque sense of gumption to the character.

Despite some localization problems, Princess Mononoke is a beautifully animated movie featuring a rich cast and complex, interesting themes. If you haven’t already, you should absolutely see it.

So, it’s a good movie. But what is it about?

Studio Ghibli Refuses to Glorify Violence

Princess Mononoke is, at times, a very violent movie. The thing is, the violence in this movie is graphic, but it’s not graphic. Princess Mononoke neither flinches from violence nor glorifies it. In the opening scene, Ashitaka does everything he can to resolve the demon situation peacefully, but he’s also clearly prepared for violence, and practiced in dishing it out. On his way to the village, Ashitaka encounters a few young women; they don't engage in the fight, but they are carrying large knives. Studio Ghibli’s not trying to sell you a world without violence, but it is trying to convince us that it is at most a necessary evil, and not something to be celebrated.

An older target audience could’ve been an excuse to go wild with fight scenes and violence; instead, the closest thing we get in this movie to a real fight scene lasts barely any time at all before our hero steps in and ends the fight as unceremoniously as possible. Ashitaka even willingly leaves his weapons behind heading into a dangerous situation; he believes that violence will only beget more violence, and that a loftier solution is called for.

Princess Mononoke literally demonizes violence. Ashitaka gets what are essentially superpowers, but he never once revels in them. He’s horrified by them, and by what he does with them. Throughout this movie, violence — whether receiving it or doling it out — turns good spirits and good people into monsters.

Like Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind, Princess Mononoke advocates for pacifism, but neither film shies away from the sacrifices required by that philosophy. Peace and trust can win the day, but you may not come out the other side in one piece. Is it worth it? Ashitaka thinks so, and Hayao Miyazaki hopes you will too.

Next up: My Neighbors the Yamadas! I have no idea what to expect from this one, folks. Isao Takahata’s films have been hit or miss for me so far, so we’ll see!

*The English title implies that Mononoke is the name of the titular princess, which led to confusion on my part when we learn her actual name, San. “Why even bother with the whole Mononoke thing,” I wondered, “if it’s not even her name and no one really calls her that?”

The Japanese title is Mononoke-hime; -hime means princess, so all good there, but mononoke is a Japanese word, not a person’s name. It refers to spirits or supernatural beings of a certain type, often a vengeful sort. Knowing this explained a lot to me — the more accurate English translation would have been something like “Monster Princess.” Mononoke-hime is a title used by the people who don’t know her actual name, because that’s what she is to them: a mononoke princess.

Now, I get why they didn’t go with “Spirit Princess” for the name of the movie, but it would have been easy to dub in a few lines explaining the term (“She’s a mononoke - a vengeful spirit!”).

Alternate Titles:

Princess Monoannieareyouokay?

Notes:

the umbrellas are so good; attention to detail, like ashitaka stringing his bow

why do the kudama have butts

the road to hell is paved with good intentions; the decisions of lady eboshi/iron town make sense individually but are awful in aggregate

looooove the apes’ voices

the regurgitation scene sure happens

and keeps happening

omg yakul is the best dog

[ghostmartyr]

What does the manga add to Roy and Riza's relationship that the anime doesn't have? Asking out of curiosity since I'm an anime only and they're still one of my favourite pairs of all time!

Oh, ha, I didn’t specifically point to the manga because I have anything in particular against Brotherhood (…or 2003 for that matter) it’s just not my canon, and I’m used to specifying which version of FMA I mean when I talk about the series. I do have a list of petty grievances against Brotherhood, but there is nothing fundamentally altered between Roy and Riza.

..

I mean. Yes. A number of my petty grievances are related to them. And feel slightly less petty as thought is spent on them.

But I would need to go back and watch the anime scenes again to point out the specifics of why.

[many hours later]

(As a note about this post, since I guess I did make the choice of tagging it, this is heavily critical about some specific moments in the Brotherhood anime, but before I get started I want to emphasize that my problems, with the exception of an example that spans a volume, don’t cover even two minutes of video. These things exist, and they bug me, and I clearly have things to say about them, but Brotherhood is 64 episodes long. My impassioned hatred of a few choice features isn’t indicative of my overall feelings on the anime.

Essentially, this is me having fun whining. Not trying to set off landmines. I hope it proves enjoyable.)

So there is this scene change in the first five minutes of episode 19 that has my eternal hatred and I have no plans to ever forgive. That has been true since it aired, and it is still true here today, because I am insufferably stubborn.

(I actually did a session about it before. I’m probably going to repeat most of it, but have a link if it interests you.)

That is not the dialogue the manga goes with.

In the manga, Riza’s interaction with Roy is focused on “what the fuck were you thinking why are you here.” Both versions have the scene with her berating Mustang for endangering the mission to save her.

In the anime, the above screencaps are what follow. After giving him a hard time for showing up at all, she thanks him for saving her life. Sweet, I guess, except Roy fires back with a mission-focused response.

If I were doing an anime-only meta thing, something could be said about the hypocrisy of Roy playing hero only to lecture other people about concentrating on the mission, and it would just be another cute thing. I guess. If I were in a charitable mood maybe.

But this is the first anime adaptation I sat through properly, angsting about every twist and turn and change.

My grudges. They last.

In the manga, Mustang brings up the slightly more personal aspects of what has happened. The reason he runs after Hawkeye is that he just lost Hughes, he won’t lose her, and he loses his head entirely. They have the yelling session over it, and he basically yells back the equivalent of, “yeah yeah fine -sulk sulk sulk-”

They leave Fuery and Hayate behind, and we have the presented moment.

Going to assist Riza is not the Proper choice for the military operation they’re running. It was a dangerous thing for Roy to have done, and she rightfully calls him on it. But he does it because he cares, and the fact that he cares is why all these people follow him. He’s a hopeless, idealistic dreamer at heart. His squad is loyal to him because he’s loyal to them.

Roy Mustang is a damn softy.

In the anime, Riza’s the one to call attention back to the whole life-saving motive. In the manga, it’s Roy.

In the anime, when it comes up, Roy dismisses it.

In the manga, when it comes up, Riza apologizes for worrying him.

It’s a small moment, but small moments are allowed to matter, and when small moments are changed, it leaves a bigger impact than if they were just left alone.

In the anime, this exchange, plus Hawkeye’s smile after, suggests that the sentimentality of the relationship comes primarily from her. Riza’s the one having her heart warmed when they have a job to do.

…That’s a slightly meaner way to put it than the scene perhaps deserves, but there is no unfair bitterness like unfair bitterness towards Brotherhood for me. Whining about this adaptation is a thing I do, despite honestly loving the majority.

Anyway, in the manga, the scene is both of them putting legwork into their dynamic. Hawkeye yells at Mustang for showing up out of sentiment, but when he expresses that sentiment in the aftermath, she expresses understanding of his perspective. He did a stupid thing, but they’re a team, and both at ease with their interplay.

In the anime, stop talking Hawkeye, don’t you know we have a job.

The manga is a conversation, the anime is putting a wall up to prevent that conversation. Especially annoying is that the character putting the wall up is the one who initiates the conversation in the manga. The anime drags Mustang back from his emotional openness and pushes Hawkeye to be more so, then provides a dismissal of her acting that way.

Besides being an inverse plus a step back for their relationship, it. also just feels kind of sexist. Instead of the man talking about feelings, the woman is. When the man talks about his feelings, it’s greeted with understanding and respect, when the woman talks about her feelings, it’s greeted with the instruction to put it somewhere else.

The fact that they changed it bothers me, because the way it is in the manga is great. It’s one of many small moments Roy and Riza have where they are shown to respect and care for each other.

The anime version doesn’t add anything, and lessens the mutuality of that bond.

I snarl in its general direction.

The other change that springs to mind is of a similar cloth.

Mustang and Hawkeye encounter the Elrics before they’re aware of Hughes’ death, and Mustang makes up a story about Hughes retiring in the country with his family so that they won’t go looking for him.

Hawkeye greets this with the face of judgment. “Why are you treating him like a child all of a sudden?” He’s never shied from giving Ed adult responsibilities before. This is a blatant lie. Roy says they don’t need any further obstacles to their journey.

A few moments pass. In silence, in the manga. In the anime, Riza points out that they’re going to find out someday. Then…

“…Who am I trying to kid?”

(Funimation, the heck is with some of your translation choices. Did you just keep the simulcast version for the official DVD subs?)

So there are a few things. The most obvious difference is the dialogue changes. Hawkeye is more insistent about how the Elrics will find out at some point, then after Mustang makes his character commentary, she calls it cruel instead of sighing and moving on to the next topic.

The other most obvious change is that Mustang smiles after calling himself soft in the anime.

These all sort of play together.

In the manga, Hawkeye is just as judgmental as she is in the anime, but she allows Mustang the space to dwell on his choices for himself. She asks him one question about how he’s treating Edward, then they walk in silence, her disapproval creating a tangible aura.

It isn’t simply Hawkeye judging him. He’s judging himself. In the anime it comes off as a, “tee-hee, what a silly softhearted boi I am.” So in the anime, she vocally objects to what he’s doing.

In the manga, Mustang takes in his inability to break the news to the Elrics as the emotional flaw that it is, and Hawkeye lets him off the hook. He doesn’t need a lecture; he knows his shortcomings. It’s not great, but he’s the kind of person who doesn’t want to tell Ed and Al that Hughes is dead because Hughes tried to help them.

Again, Mustang’s softness is part of what endears him to his crew. It is not always a good trait. Sometimes, as in this case, it’s actively causing problems. But it is who he is.

Riza knows this, and she can let this failure pass with a sigh because Roy knows it too. The anime version has a smile when it’s nothing to smile over. The manga version is more, “hahaha… fuck.”

Roy and Riza know each other and themselves extraordinarily well. They might have the boundaries of superior and subordinate, but they are comfortable enough in their understanding of each other that they are allowed to be themselves. It’s the conversation thing. There is an undercurrent of figurative dialogue to their relationship that never stops.

When they do call each other out in the manga, it does not keep the conversation from flowing. It continues it. Both of the above changes take it to a stuttering halt in their scenes.

Then we have episode 30.

After which, I do not have memories specific enough to shout about things or know if there are things to shout about, but episode 30.

-screams forever and ever and ever-

-intersperses screams with tears of anguish-

From what I know of being an FMA fan, it is difficult to be an FMA fan without being passingly familiar with the debates of which version is better. Usually it’s Brotherhood vs. 2003. My personal, obviously right opinion, is that this is the wrong way to do it, and it should be manga vs. 2003, because really it’s an argument over which plot is better, and Brotherhood’s plot is the property of the manga.

I also think it’s impossible to really debate. The two series have different feels and themes. They are both extremely well done, meaning that which one you prefer comes down to personal preference.

I’m pretty sure people who bother to have those discussions could say a lot more on the topic, but that’s my general, broad stroke, very glossed-over perspective on it all.

I mention this because I think anyone who loves FMA should read volume fifteen of the manga. If you’re not a manga person, you don’t want to read 27 volumes of manga, yeah, understandable. You have your version of the story, enjoy it, you shouldn’t feel the need to read the original if you don’t want to. The idea that you have to pour every bit of content into your brain to be a good fan is pretty unhealthy.

But I recommend volume 15 regardless, because the anime does not come close to presenting its content. It is four chapters devoted to the Ishvalan War. Outside the framing device (Ed going to return Hawkeye’s gun and asking about what went down), the entire volume basically stands on its own.

It is a harrowing, intimate depiction of the genocide campaign. That is the focus of the entire volume.

Scar’s backstory is moved to an earlier section in the anime, and Mustang burning Hawkeye’s back is moved to the Envy fight, so this might be an unfair barb to throw, but I still want to say it. The anime covers this volume in one episode.

-goes back to screaming-

(Honestly though, some of the best fun I ever had in fandom came from being on a forum full of manga fans and all of us yelling our despair over Brotherhood’s choices. You would never believe that this anime was considered the gold standard of anything.)

But we’re here for Roy and Riza!

There’s only one thing that sincerely bothers me to pain of the irritation of the above. Most of my sulking is just why did they do this to my favorite volume. Mustang and Hawkeye’s stuff is mostly intact. Except when it isn’t.

Chronologically, the first complaint is that when Riza’s father collapses (dies), Mustang is alone with him. In the manga, the scene ends with a shot of Riza, watching, terrified, from the doorway.

Also known as the scene where Roy calls Riza by her first name.

-still screaming-

The cemetery scene is truncated. The anime jumps right into Roy and Riza discussing Roy becoming a soldier. The manga starts the scene out with the focus on funeral things. Roy asks if Riza has other family, and what she plans to do now.

After that, he offers her his number, and they get to talking about the military and Roy’s dream.

They also cut this.

In the anime, Roy discusses his military life through the lens of Master Hawkeye’s opinion on it, asking if Riza is going to disapprove as well. Roy starts talking because he assumes that’s how she feels about it, and preemptively defends his perspective.

In the original, when Roy hands Riza his information, she asks, “For the rest of your life…?” It’s followed by the above panel.

Roy’s monologue about his aspirations and his dream for what he can do as a member of the military happens because Riza asks. Not directly, but her addition to the conversation prompts him to talk about his views, and he mentions that those views are why he studied alchemy. In other words, why he’s standing in front of a grave, awkwardly trying to talk to his dead master’s daughter.

Following that, the original pays more attention to the lead-up of Riza entrusting Roy with her father’s research. In the anime, she jumps straight from the ideals topic to asking if she can trust him with it.

In the manga, there’s that beat of contemplation after Roy brings up alchemy, and how his master didn’t teach him everything.

Riza tells him that his dream sounds wonderful.

Another beat.

That’s when she tells him that her father did leave his alchemical secrets behind. Words about this are exchanged for a small number of panels.

In the anime, she asks Roy if she can entrust her father’s work (dream, values) to him. Directly after the dream dialogue.

In the manga, when Roy tries to bring their discussion back to Riza’s father, and what he did with his research, Riza redirects him. It isn’t about her father. It’s about her, and by consequence, Roy, and how Roy’s dream inspires her.

“That dream… Can I entrust you with my back so that I can help make it come true?”

The anime severely underplays the significance of Riza offering her father’s research to Roy. They address it a little once Envy is being dealt with, but in the manga, all of the discussion of Riza watching Roy’s back is drawn from how Riza’s back is what’s given Roy the power to rise as far as he has.

It goes from maintextual subtext to subtextual subtext.

Also, the cuts to their conversation just plain means that there’s less of Roy and Riza interacting. The two of them are very, very young, standing in front of a grave and talking about ideals. The longer manga version allows the quality of their youthful awkwardness to truly shine.

The scene is dropped in the middle of the volume, whereas in the anime, it opens the Ishvalan flashback. There’s much to be examined about how that affects the emotional impact, but… geez that gets to be a lot of threads. Trying to go through all of the ways they crammed a whole volume into one episode is just going to make me dizzy.

Even if the theoretical focus of this post weren’t shipping, I’m not sure my brain would be up for that. There’s just so much going on, and the time allotted means it’s a Frankenstein job.

The one major difference for Roy and Riza, which I can’t believe they went with, and can’t believe my sad feelings every time I watch the episode and confirm yeah, they really went that way with it.

Why why why why why why why why must you hurt me this way.

SO!

THE ANIME VERSION!

OF ROY AND RIZA MEETING IN ISHVAL!

Riza walks up and says hi after noticing them because Hughes is babbling about his future wife.

Yay.

The manga version does not. does not do that.

It.

That’s not how it goes.

At all.

In the manga, Roy and Hughes run into each other on their break and start chilling together. Hughes gets a letter, does his excited babbling, Roy tells him to stop being a stereotypical red shirt, when suddenly

Oh noes.

Roy and Hughes react as fast as they can, which might or might not end up fast enough, when a bullet goes through the Ishvalan’s brain.

There’s quiet for a moment, then Roy gets behind cover because oh no gunshot, and Hughes tells him to chill, it’s all good.

“We have the ‘hawk’s eye’ on our side. […] A real ace sharpshooter… who’s causing quite a stir in my circle of friends. She’s still in the academy but because she’s so skilled… they brought her to the front.”

Guess who.

Hughes and Roy, being the good people they are, go back to camp to thank the sniper for saving them. Hughes is his cheery self. Roy is not noticeably perturbed.

Then the sniper drops her hood and stands up.

You could say I prefer the manga version. It has Riza being a badass, and adds to the shock they both have of seeing each other here.

Riza gets her own little horrified section of panels all about it.

She was just helping out two soldiers. She didn’t realize until after she fired that one of them was Roy, and that he’s in this hell too.

The other thing that I enjoy about this particular sequence of panels is that in the manga, they come up a bit earlier. Throughout the manga, Ishval flashback panels are everywhere. As this scene is initially presented (Hawkeye looking at Mustang through her scope), many chapters earlier, it looks like maybe they’re on opposite sides.

Or maybe it’s just me who thinks that’s a thing.

In any case, it adds some serious drama to their reunion. In the anime, the drama is entirely that they are both here in this awful war. In the manga, a Mysterious Sniper saves Roy’s life and turns out to be his master’s daughter.

It’s just cooler, okay?

Their conversation when Riza becomes Roy’s aide is also truncated. Riza says her specialty is guns, because death doesn’t linger when you use them. Roy tells her, with what I feel is sympathy, that’s just a deception to make the work easier. She agrees, but because she’s decided that work is necessary, there we go.

…

I thought that would be my last thing, but now that I have volume fifteen open, I can’t help but go to the scene during the Envy stuff. I won’t touch the main scenes of that, though I’m sure there are changes, because this is already too long and I’ve officially gone through the things that personally affect my view of the anime, which… was, at some point, maybe, the point of the ask. ^^;

Basically, I will never stop if I go through everything, but in case it isn’t obvious, I really love the fifteenth volume, so to Envy we go.

Huh. They really didn’t alter much. The core’s all there. Because of the placement, Mustang gets docked a few lines, and he is rewarded one of Riza’s (about making the tattoo as illegible as possible) in return, but it’s basically the same, with the addition of Riza thanking him.

I have no particular feelings on that. The ending of the scene is different because it’s not intended to go with the rest of the Ishvalan War, and… I guess  I could manufacture some dislike over Riza expressing gratitude instead of the pure stubbornness the manga has. It distracts a little from why she’s asking those secrets to be burned off. They’re in a hell of their own creation. The soft thanks blurs the cutting edge.

Which isn’t to say I can’t have other problems with it.

As a manga reader who enjoyed Brotherhood as it was coming out, as well as someone who is writing this mostly from memory and going over only specific scenes, I have no way to ascertain how clear it is to anime fans what happens with Riza’s back and when. In the manga, it is excruciatingly clear that her father puts his research on her back, that is how Roy comes to have Flame Alchemy, and that is what Riza asks him to burn off.

Since that’s all in volume fifteen, the next twelve volumes are read with the understanding that before Riza is instructed to watch Roy’s back in case he falls, she offers him her back, and brings the ruin of Flame Alchemy to Ishval.

That history defines them. Their own choices plant them in that war, but Roy uses the alchemy she gives him out of hope for a better world to commit genocide. It’s a horrific weight on both of them, and his decision to have Riza, of all people, watch his back after the war?

Dude, it is such an amazing ship detail. Riza entrusts her back to Roy. He, in turn, entrusts his to her.

I get why it’s moved. Sort of. Given that volume fifteen is given one episode, I get why it’s moved. It’s most heavily relevant to Roy’s rampage against Envy.

However, I don’t think the power of knowing the depths of their connection earlier on can be understated. Roy and Riza’s devotion and synergy comes from watching their shared idealism burn the people they wanted to protect to a crisp, and their commitment to never letting that happen again. They create a hell through their good intentions. Having done that, they do not abandon their good intentions. They refine them and continue forward.

That is what binds them together. They rise from the ashes of their flames.

I do not, for the most part, think Brotherhood does them a major disservice. My gripes are pretty much all listed above, and my praises are endless.

But if you really love Roy and Riza, I’d seriously recommend reading the manga at some point, because there’s stuff the anime doesn’t bother with. AKA, yes, there is even more royai to be uncovered, don’t you want to seeeeee? :D :D

This kind of obviously grew past what you were initially asking, but I hope it serves a satisfactory answer regardless! Thanks for the opportunity to spam my love for these two!

…Through spamming my hate of stuff, but we’re ignoring that.

[velteris]

Revue Starlight Song Analysis: ‘The Star Knows’, Ep 2

(For the optimal experience, have a copy of the song up and ready to play!)

The cool thing about the revue songs is that they have long stretches of instrument-only melodies built in to complement fight scenes where the dialogue may come in as the priority. That said, they’re crafted so that they maintain the flow of tension and “narrative” in the music even when they’re taking a background atmospheric role to the animation—so much so that even without the animation, they work as standalone music.

‘The Star Knows’ starts off with almost 2 minutes of instrumental that sets the tone for the revue to come. The percussion is light, soft cymbals that set up the time signature. 4/4 time is very orthodox, arguably one of the simplest and most common time signatures, fitting Junna’s classical nature. The piano and cello repeat the same phrase – four notes in rapid succession, an unwavering rhythm, with a melody of ti-do-la-mi that feels uneasy or incomplete because it doesn’t return to the tonic chord, creating a sense of urgency. Meanwhile, the violin and chimes provide a countermelody that soars but ultimately comes back down: Junna is reaching, but never quite reaches her goal.

At 0:25, the instruments’ roles change: the violin takes over the four-note phrase, softening it with a higher pitch, as the cello provides a smooth harmony for the piano’s fragile melody. This delicate approach accompanies Junna’s reflection on how she came to stand on the revue stage, how she worries this may be her last chance. The percussion falls even quieter; the driving force of the music is the piano’s chords.

As Junna’s resolve firms, the strings take the forefront at 0:48 with a sweeping, less subtle melody: she’s preparing for her performance, finding the classical music that will move her audience. The first brass instrument comes in at 1:11, soft, but quickly firming into a stronger introduction to the next passage at 1:20. The violins repeat the four-note phrase, more insistent now. Junna must act, and she must act now before she’s swept away by her doubts as the violins rise.

Tumbling piano notes at 1:41 precede Junna’s first verse. The structure of the revue she’d trusted in is falling apart, and so is she. But she powers through, determined to make herself heard.

‘The Star Knows’ is a sort of reprise or mirror of ‘The Reason We Are Here’, and accordingly, Junna does examine the reason why she is in the revue—and why she has not succeeded as she'd hoped to. But where Mahiru started with a soft, wistful tone, Junna’s singing is accusatory and defiant. “I don’t know the reason why,” she starts, staring Karen down; it almost seems as if she’s going to demand to know why Karen is here in the revue with her. But she goes on: “I am engulfed in flames”. Her melody seems to be in a major key, strong and projecting confidence, but the four-note phrase echoed over and over in the background piano belies her words. Karen has shaken her, and now that she sees her previous efforts haven’t been enough, her number one focus is on herself, justifying her own mentality, burning herself away for the stage. Anxious and growing more strident, the violins drive her on starting from 1:55. Her voice rises into a lament: “These flames will never go out.”

The fight begins properly; Junna’s first and second shot are deflected, and with them goes her hope of finishing the revue swiftly. The violins become frenetic, taking on their own melody, as she turns to trick shots and stage manipulation, ad-libbing anything she can think of to gain the upper hand. The percussion that’s been building becomes a steady dream beat that rolls through the second minute like the pulse of the fight. Junna is venting her loneliness, her frustration, her unmet desire for the stage; the repeated three-note step she sings at 2:25-2:28 is a cycle she cannot break out of, lest she fall out of time with the syncopated drum beats, which would break down her performance—until her desperation pushes her voice over the drum as she hits the second lamenting rise.

With a lull in the fight, the music eases as Junna gathers her thoughts and thinks of the stars she’s seen and wants to be. The frantic pace of the percussion washes away with the chimes at 2:32, letting the pure joy of the stage shine through for a moment. Insistent, the brass makes a reintroduction at 2:45, flaring through to 3:05 as she recalls the people she has yet to surpass.

But now Junna is losing her control of the scene. Even when she starts to sing again at 3:13, she is in constant danger of being overshadowed by the rampant strings and forceful percussion accompanying her. Her schemes grow wilder and wilder, yet somehow Karen thwarts each of them, until at last she does away with the subtle, hidden sniping and starts launching bright, confetti-filled shots. At 3:50, without the masking effect of the heavy instrumentals, she at last gives voice to her simplest fears.

I’ve seen a lot of different translations of the polyphonic duet part, but I’m trying out my own take on these lyrics. When Junna sings “Makerarenai koko de”—I can’t lose here—Karen’s line is “Make nanka nai”, which the subs I recall translated as “I won’t lose”. I’d like to offer a different interpretation. When Junna finally leaves all metaphor behind and sings in a high, clear tone her plain fear, that she will lose, it opens up an opportunity for Karen to respond: “It’s not a loss.” Junna goes on, “I cannot fail”; Karen sings back, “It’s not a failure.” Through this revue, Karen is trying to rewrite Junna’s very perception of the stage.

Frustrated, Junna accuses Karen, “You wouldn’t understand”—to which Karen refutes, “It’s because I don’t understand you” with a forceful emphasis on dakara koso that lets her seize control of the pace. The percussion returns, still a forceful beat but with (what sounds like) a tambourine or muted cymbal taps that reflect Karen’s more upbeat outlook. Junna’s protests become Karen’s harmony for that verse, taking the darker alto phrases that reflect her despairing mood, using the antonyms to Karen’s lines. There’s the beauty of polyphony—that each line enriches the other’s, that a monologue turns into a conversation.

At 4:13, for a moment, Junna’s enraged enough by Karen’s over-optimistic claims that she briefly seizes control of the conversation again, with a swell of agitated strings overcoming Karen’s percussion. Karen lets her have the phrase, then comes back stronger, cymbals coming through stronger now; her long held note that harmonises with Junna’s singing at 4:18 is both a demonstration of her own ability and a show of willingness to support Junna, even as Junna tries to push her away, saying “You can’t do anything”.

The fight hits a lull. Junna’s desperate enough to try for a frontal assault, even with her ranged weapon. As she gathers herself for the decisive blow, knowing it’s her last chance, the piano returns with the disquieted four-note phrase from the beginning of the song. A melancholic cello melody gives way to the brass and violins’ demand for theatrics at 4:45; even Junna’s private agony must be offered up to the stage as fuel for brilliance.

Karen’s victory works no immediate, mind-changing miracle. Even after her triumphant final verse ending at 5:34, the music remains distraught, unresolved, easing from the initial shock of defeat to a softer mourning cello and piano line. The revue is over, but Junna’s own struggle is not; there are things that can’t be said on the stage under the spotlight. She needs a bit more time to reconcile her loss. But for now, the song’s reached its end.

[drivingsideways]

Episodes 7 & 8

Spoilers and yelling under the cut

Well, just a note that I really love the theme music, esp the bit they use as the love theme. 

-honestly I feel bad for Feng Hao. Like sure, he’s not the sharpest tool in the box, and frankly, he’s like..entitled and annoying until this part of the series, but the dude has a point about the whole “at least tell me the truth before i die!!!” thing. 

-Anyways, the Feng/Qiu family dynamic is also so interesting- Feng Zhiwei and Feng Hao are such different personalities! My guess is that Mingying both devoted a lot of her resources to making sure Feng Zhiwei would be “ready” when the time came, but also held her to impossibly high standards! Feng Zhiwei is scared of her mom in ways that Feng Hao is not! And perhaps Qiu Mingying compensated for (placing Feng Zhiwei first) with spoiling Feng Hao, so that he basically got away with being an idiot most of the time. 

-Prince of Chu literally jumping in between Feng Zhiwei and a sword *starry eyes *

-Hahaha, Feng Zhiwei being all like “you better fucking save my mother and brother, PRINCE” before she realizes he’s actually wounded. Also, the fact that she calls him Mr.Tailor before she calls him Prince of Chu (oh no oh no!)

I think Ning Yi never realized the depth of her devotion to Qiu Mingying and Feng Hao, though honestly, he should have- starting from when she’s willing to take her mother’s crime upon her? Somehow he doesn’t seem to grasp, later, how much their deaths devastated her, especially since she blames her own existence for that.  

-Oh no, Ning Yi trying to tease her because he doesn’t know how to deal with her distress! (also the soft lighting and the general intimacy of that scene, THANKS FOR NOTHING SHOW)

-Feng Zhiwei blaming herself for everything-pretty similar to how Ning Yi also internalizes blame and guilt-in some ways they are both so similar in this, that’s perhaps one of the reasons that they can’t talk through things, later. 

-Ning Yi has like 50 expressions in the space of 1 minute going from “oh no i need to comfort her which is awkward and weird and i’d best deflect her by teasing to oh fuck what am i doing”, the entire thing is delicious, YOU COMPLETE IDIOT NING YI. 

-OH NO NING YI’S TINY SMILE AT NING CHENG TO LET HIM KNOW HE’S MOSTLY OK while they stage a drama for Official Zhao. OH NO I AM HERE FOR THEIR FRIENDSHIP ALL THE TIME

-Chen Kun’s cheekbones should be declared illegal, that’s just a fact. 

-Ning Cheng is the best because he knows when he’d be An Intruder (the way he sneaks off while Feng Zhiwei is being nurse-maid to a sleeping Ning Yi is so cuuuuute) 

-I wish there were subs for the song that plays over this scene. 

-Poor Zhiwei- so conscious of the seriousness of her oath, which she doesn’t fully understand, and also this-something- she feels for Ning Yi, which she doesn’t quite understand, either. 

-Ning Yi watching her sleep, don’t be a creeper, Ning Yi, sorry, this whole trope was ruined for me with Twilight, and I can’t stand seeing it on screen anymore! 

-His exaggerating the pain to deflect- you’re such a loser, NY, omg. lol i love how she sees through him. That’s one of my favourite parts of this pairing at the start, how they intuit each other’s true feelings/intentions more often than not. But that can never be a substitute for actual talking???about things??? and you can see how they fail at the end. GOD I AM MAKING MYSELF SAD IN ADVANCE. 

-HOW HAD I FORGOTTEN THE HALF REVEAL OF A COLLAR BONE, THANK GOD FENG ZHIWEI STOPS HIM, I THINK WE WOULD HAVE ALL GONE UP IN SMOKE OTHERWISE. 

-LISTEN CHEN KUN’S CHEEKBONES ARE A HAZARD TO PUBLIC SAFETY

 * AMBULANCE SIRENS IN THE DISTANCE *

- Ning Yan, you’re like not even playing in the same league as your brothers, I’m so glad you died fast. Like honestly, Ning Chuan’s expression alone should have made you run for the hills, but you actually thought you were getting somewhere. 

-Note on the sets at Prince of Chu’s residence- I fucking love that room with the opera masks - need to find a BTS video subbed in English to figure out more about them, but 100% that was a great choice for Ning Yi’s personality, and we often see him framed against those, as I recall. 

-The repeated theme of “hiding” from Feng Zhiwei- the first time they meet, he’s literally hiding from her behind a screen at the House of Lanxiang, until he knocks it down because he’s curious about her-and now he’s hiding in a different way, because he doesn’t want to answer her questions-but she’s literally like “there’s no place to hide” and just *sigh * i love how that’s both literal and metaphorical in this story between them. Ning Yi has spent his life hiding-his feelings, his skills, his intelligence- and Feng Zhiwei forces all of that out into the sunlight, so to speak. *starry eyed about it *

-I love how Ning Cheng is all of us, if he had popcorn, you bet he’d be eating it right now. 

-XZ being all passive aggressive about Feng Zhiwei *cough cough *

-XZ has no second thoughts about sacrificing the entire Qiu family if it will eliminate Ning Chuan, although the earlier, the killing of the canal workers troubled him quite a bit. It’s Ning Yi who says “I don’t want my throne to be tainted with innocent blood”. Idk why XZ feels differently about the canal workers vs the Qiu family- perhaps, on some level, he can justify this by saying that they *were * after all, “enemy of the state”- and their fate would be the same whether it was the Emperor who dealt the killing blow or them- so in XZ’s scheme of things, it just makes sense to use it to their advantage, as the outcome would not have varied, in any case. Unlike the canal workers, who were entirely caught up in this by accident. 

-I like how Ning Yi says the line “I’m the only one who can protect her”, twice; the first time is a justification to XZ, the second is a justification to *himself *.  And XZ knows it too. 

-lol NY’s absolute fury at Feng Zhiwei being like “so long and thanks for all the fish” - god, he hates having his plans interfered with, and this woman just won’t listen, will she?

-Idk if this is a subbing issue, but occasionally, there are lines,esp idioms that seem completely out of place in the show. For eg “Each man for himself, the devil take the hindmost” is something both Gu Yan and Col Qiu say; and in this episode Col Qiu says “Man proposes, God disposes” which seems really weird. Anyways. 

-Oh Ning Yi, the relief he feels when he sees Feng Zhiwei safe-under his roof, thanks to Chief Gu-after that whole dialogue earlier to Col Qiu about “Wouldn’t it be better if a person didn’t have to care for other people” . *cackling * My poor prince, having to spend his life pretending he doesn’t care, when the problem is that he cares *too much * (about some people!)

-The scene between Gu Yan and Qiu Mingying is one of the best scenes in the show! For one, it features Qiu Mingying who gets tooo few scenes, gdi. Second, god I love how she uses her silence as a weapon here- in the Qiu household, she had to stay silent, swallowing every insult until it became truly dangerous to be silent, and she makes her thoughts known very strongly- but here she reduces Gu Yan to tears with her silence. If she had (justifiably) given  vent to her anger, I don’t think it would have been half as effective! The person who holds the power in that room is not the Chief of the Royal Guards, it is that unyielding woman and her silence. 

-Honestly, all the actors in this series are so GOOD, like Hai Yitian as Ning Chuan is just perfect as the paranoid, menacing and not very competent Crown Prince. 

And finally, gosh, I love our manipulative Prince of Chu literally setting a “little cat” among the pigeons.

[ick25]

Rockman.EXE Episode 47 Review.

Told you these guys would be back. -__-

Let the Wacky Races parody begin!

We start the episode with car related shots, something that looks like a photo shooting with Aki-chan, more car related close ups and a scene of Iceman being taken away from Aki by Glyde.

A race is taking place today! Shots of the drivers getting their cars ready along with Rush getting chained to one of the cars for some reason, and Rockman putting on the goggles we saw earlier along with his battle mask.

He looks cute with goggles. :3

We see the different “cars” at the starting line as the race begins!

Yes, that is in fact Magicman’s arm shoveling coal into a train engine.

Its is reveal to be a Net Mobile Grand Prix hosted by Yaito since the commentator is one of her maids. Just then, a newcomer drives in at the last second.

Blues joins the brawl! I mean race.

After the title card, Yaito’s maid tells us the name of each car and their respective drivers.

Rockman is driving the only real race car, Gutsman is racing in a tank, Roll’s car looks sentient and Glide is wearing gloves over his gloves.

Mania-Obsessive, the Ex-WWW Navis are driving a train, Net agents are driving a manly submarine and Yaito’s maid just straight up insults Blues. Talk about an objective commentator.

This is basically Mario Karts, so we all know they’re gonna attack eachother, be realistic woman!

The winner, aside from the title, will also receive a kiss from the CGI race queen.

“I love you, you love me, we all love weird looking CGI~”

I can only imagine those are the lyrics of a new cheezy song of hers.

This is something I didn’t like from the dub, we all know that Roll has a crush on Rockman, but it is not okay to make her jealous of other girls? The dub change the dialogue to Roll complaining about Rush not being in the car with her, as if she didn’t know that she has him strapped to the car’s front. It’s actually cute how Roll wants to win the race to avoid having Aki kiss him.

But Rockman couldn’t care less about the kiss because all he wants is to win no matter the battle, as he then gives us a flashback from a few days earlier at the Maha Ichiban where Yaito is telling everyone (including Higure for some reason) about the race.

I love that little gag with Netto, eating curry is always a priority for him. Also, why is one of Hello Kitty’s friends on the wall? Or... maybe its just a pig.

Yaito then shows them a new line of Navi cars with Numberman as the model.

The idea behind these cars is that Navis will be able to drive cars through the internet, which is pretty stupid considering that there are no highways in Internet city and Navis can easily travel fast plug-in style. But we all know that the real reason is to make Blues look cool in a future episode and have a Wacky Races parody.

In order to advertize the cars, Yaito wants to hold a race and asks Netto and the others to take part, they accept, but the Ex-WWW overhears them and ask to join as well for the publicity for their restaurant. And for some reason Commander Beef and the rest of the Net Agents arrive and decide to enter as well to foil WWW’s idea. And Yaito being so selfish doesn’t give a crap about the WWW’s intention like she did in the last episode and just accepts everyone.

But it DOES bother you when Enzan joins the race at the last second, you self centered big headed hypocrite! You are tied in with Rush for the second spot on my list of most hated characters from this season! (You should all know who number one is).

In the cyberworld, Glyde asks Iceman to be his co-pilot and Roll invites Rush along before noticing something wrong with him. Turns out the Cutman brothers are back and they made a paper cut out of a flea to spy on Rockman’s group. They plan to take out Rockman during the race because they still think he’s evil and now they seem to have a crush on Roll all of a sudden.

Makes sense that Glyde asks to team up with Iceman, because I don’t believe there is a car small enough for him.

The flashback ends, making me wonder if the Cutmen scene was part of Rockman’s memory, and we return to the race. We also see the thoughts of the Net Agents taking part as well.

Funny you ask that, Miyuki, because we then cut to Madoi wondering why the WWW is driving a train. Mahajarama just happens to have a thing for trains.

We cut to Rockman who just now finds out that Blues is in the race, I mean come on, Netto didn’t tell him?

Gutsman manages to pass Rockman... On a tank! How?

Gutsman gets in front of Numberman and decides to bend the rules by attacking the car, sending it flying and forcing Numberman to log out after it blows up leaving an emoji face Higure-san.

The cars enter a tunnel where Iceman decides to freeze the road causing Gutsman to drift out of control.

However, Roll-chan is too close, but she avoids crashing into Gutsman by quickly drifting along with him. Worried about Roll’s safety, Gutsman decides to destroy his own car forcing him to log-out.

Here is another line changed in the dub. It’s a fact in both versions that Gutsman has a crush on Roll and he even sacrificed himself in episode 24 to protect her. Here, the dub had him saying that he was getting dizzy and he destroys his own car because he couldn’t take it anymore. I guess the dub wanted Roll to be portrayed more as an equal than having a man sacrificing himself for her for no real reason.

After this we see the Cutman brothers waiting outside of the tunnel where they make a giant paper cut out of a canon. Netto cheers for Rockman, but just then the WWW train pushes his car off balance making him slide out of control before cutting to commercials.

We come back from commercials with Netto saving Rockman by changing his tires, with a little warning about using those tires in public roads that was skipped in the dub. Rockman regains control by driving on the walls of the tunnel and the race continues with Higure-san as a new commentator.

The insult of the day is “pain in the ass” because this is the third time we hear that in this episode. Or the sub was too lazy to think of another insult.

The cars exit the tunnel where the Cutmen are waiting for Rockman with the canon, but for some reason they just stand there. I guess the cars are so fast that they didn’t get the chance to shoot?

The line in the dub was just as pathetic. ¬ -¬

The next obstacle is a draw bridge opening, Rockman and Blues manage to jump to the other side without problems, Roll-chan has some kind of air bag under her car that allows her to bounce to the other side, but the manly submarine can only do what it does best, dive.

So the Net agents are out and now its time for the WWW to upgrade their train from a steam powered locomotive to an electrical train thanks to the Count and Elecman.

I like how Coloredman and Heatman are waving their hands in the air like they don’t even care. XD

Time for the Cutmen’s third attemp to destroy Rockman, by planting something on his car using a manhole they created out of paper. It looks like they forgot cut some stairs because Cutman Jiro (Eyebrows) is using the rest of the Cutmen to give him leverage. The fat cutman at the bottom gets a supper boost of strenght causing Jiro to get run over by Rockman’s car. They ask about what happened to the paper cut out, which turns out to be a time bomb, and they assume that it successfuly stuck to Rockman’s car making them feel victorious and making up a new excuse for last time about Roll-chan being in danger too. What’s this sudden crush for Roll?!

“It was at this moment that Cutman Jiro realized... He f*!ked up.”

We return to the race with the WWW Navis in first place and attacking the other cars, they eventually take out the Battle Bus much for Yaito’s maid’s dismay.

Boo-hoo, maybe now you  can concentrate in being an objective commentator.

The WWW feels confident, but Enzan, Netto and Meiru power up their Navi’s vehicles giving them a boost of speed to pass the WWW train.

As the WWW Navis are shocked by Rockman and the others passing them, the Otoko-Maru raises from the water and returns to the race just to get in the way of the Wakahage taking both teams out.

This was just a hilarious accident, but the dub made it look like the Navis themselves did it on purpose to get the WWW out of the race. That would actually make sense, Sharkman, Woodman and Skullman sacrificing themselves for their main objective fits with their characters, after all we don’t see their reactions inside the submarine. They like “Screw this race, we are taking the WWW with us!” ;)

Cue the final lap music of Mario Karts, or in this case, Rockman’s victory music since we have reach the third and final lap of the race with Rockman, Blues and Roll-chan racing eachother.

We see the Cutmen waiting at the finish line as Rockman and Blues focus on eachother and both of them try to make a move in a corner, but they seem to forget that Roll is behind them because they open up a gap for her to move on to first place.

And the seventh panel was ruined by a layering mistake. ¬ . ¬

Roll is now in the lead, but Rockman and Blues are not happy with this so it’s time for their Netops to send in their last accessory chips to transform their vehicles, with Meiru doing the same to keep her advantage over them.

Roll’s corny car just became a freaking rocket plane with wheels!

As Rock and Blues try to catch up with her, we check back with the Cutman brothers who discover a tiny problem with their plan of blowing up Rockman.

That little Cutman is an idiot. Turns out the bomb was stuck to Jiro’s back all along, probably after he got ran over by Rockman’s car, the rest of the Cutman panic trying to take it off with no avail.

The three Navis are almost at the finish line, Roll is holding her ground, until one of her tires suddenly blows up for whatever reason causing her to spin out of control, Rockman and Blues take advantage of this to pass her. 

Roll’s car finally crashes and blows up sending Rush flying and forcig Roll to log out leaving behind a tear.

Yeap, that is a tear drop breaking. The dub kept this in because I remember wondering what that was. I inicially thought it was like a sweat drop, but after watching the original version, I realized that was a tear because Roll was heartbroken knowing that she failed to stop Rockman from winning and getting kissed by Aki-chan. AWWWWW.

So now it’s down to Rockman and Blues! Who will become the champion?

Hmmm... Considering that motorcycles don’t normally take part in car races, this is gonna be a tough call.

Anyway, the race is over and I want my fireworks!

Woo hoo! Let’s celebrate because this is the last time we see the Cutman brothers. (Until the Beast saga, but that’s another story.)

As they are waiting for the results, Blues raises his index finger to the sky making everyone believe that he is declaring himself the winner, but he surrprises them by pointing at Rockman and declaring him the victor.

But this moment of good sportmanship is ruined by the photo finish that shows that the winner of the race.... Is Rush.

I dont know why they cutted out Blues’s reaction in the dub, it was funny. Or do they think Blues is too cool for this?

Yes, Rush is the winner because he crossed the finish line first after Roll’s car blew up, so I guess in a way, Roll got her wish. :3

And the episode ends with everyone booing as Aki-chan kisses an unconscious Rush and Netto breaking the picture with his face.

My thoughts?

Before I forget again, here is a fun fact! Cutman Jiro and the original Cutman were voiced by the same person who voiced Bubbleman in the rest of the anime, Chiyako Shibahara. It was until the Beast saga when the Cutman Brothers and Cutman himself return for an episode where I realized it was the same voice, the only difference being that they don’t say “Puku” all the time.

Wacky Races was an old Hanna-Barbera show from the 80′s that was very popular in a lot of countries, specially in Japan for many animes would include an episode based on the concept. Whether it was a direct parody or just inspired by it, this episode is clearly one of those examples. Sure, it might also be a reference to the Megaman Battle and Chase game that was released in 1997, but that could’ve been inspired by Wacky Races too.

How can I tell if this was directly inspired by the Wacky Races cartoon?

Because Roll-chan’s car is an obvious parody of Penelope Pitstop’s car from the show, with the car wearing mascara an all. And I think there was also a tank in the race.

All and all, this was a very fun episode to watch, it wasn’t ridiculous like the baseball one, this one was written into the story to actually make sense. Remember my criterias for episode 43? The episode introduced something new that fits in with the anime’s universe, and Blues’s bike will make a comeback in a future episode.

[itsbeenawhile7]

The absolution of Dana Scully in the aftermath of My Struggle IV: one pissed off fan’s grand manifesto

–also known as, “what in actual hell happened to Chris Carter?”

If you have not already read through this interview, courtesy of Avi Quijada and XFN, I am going to need you to start there first.

And listen: before anyone goes there, I am not analyzing the fuck out of this to excuse Chris Carter for the disastrous finale he just served up to us. Rather, it’s that there are a lot of us who are products of the Scully Effect in one way or another, and we’d like to feel good about her legacy.  We deserve to figure out a way to clean up this mess you left us with.

Some people write fanfic.  Me?  I do this.  Get some hot chocolate and pull up a comfy chair.

Rant rating: R, for language and possibly some implied violence against Chris Carter

Content warning: I mean…you saw MSIV, right? 

Did MSIV actually destroy Dana Scully for all of us forever?  Nah.  We just witnessed the apex of a once skilled writer complete his own demise.  We just witnessed a writer who got in way over his head, who was trying to articulate extremely complex, controversial ideas and concepts, and doing so in about the most tone deaf way anyone ever possibly could. Having read his interview with Avi Quijada, I now think it is absolutely fair to say that Chris Carter actually did have at least some idea about what the right motivations for his characters were.  But in a writing decision that will baffle me and the rest of the world forever, he did not heed the warnings of those around him, and convinced himself that his audience would be able to infer absolutely everything of import to his story, and that we didn’t need to see any of that stuff actually fleshed out on screen.  Sure, fine, whatever, Chris. Challenge accepted, here we go.

Let’s review. In the space of a scant few ridiculous hours occurring over the course of MSIV, Scully found out all of the following:

the child she thought was conceived miraculously with her partner was not, in fact, created as a the result of that union

she was medically raped and violated in order for William to be brought forth into the world

the being that she has conceived of as their son for 18 years is barely human: he is a shape-shifting, unstable lab creation, who is far, far more dangerous than any of the many forces that have been out to destroy him

William was created specifically by that fucking bastard Carl, and for whatever purpose Per Manum previously served in this universe, Dana Scully and the rest of us ostensibly should now assume it was to obtain fertilized embryos for the CSM to screw around with and deploy when she made the biggest fucking mistake of her life going off with him in En Ami

she is somehow pregnant right now, at age 54 (because Chris is apparently fascinated by perimenopause? or some shit like that?), after having not gotten miraculously pregnant at any point before in her extensive sexual history with Mulder

William directly and repeatedly said to both of his parents of genetic origin that he does not want to be protected, and that he wants them to let him go [quick break here: sorry, Chris, but there is no way that the CSM is the literal genetic father here, because Scully had a fucking AMNIO in season 8, and therefore you will neverrrrrrrrr convince any of us that this could ever possibly be the case]

And in the midst of all of this, Skinner is killed (maybe), her now compromised friend Monica Reyes is killed (maybe), her partner witnesses the murder of their son (maybe), and her partner kills his father (maybe), after having himself killed or witnessed the killing of dozens of New Syndicate operatives (definitely, because: exploding entrails!!!).

Two things stand out to me. Number one: this level of emotional trauma and upheaval is far, far too much for anyone to even be capable of putting up a coherent verbal response to in its immediate aftermath. Number two, to reiterate points Gillian Anderson and Avi Quijada both made directly to Chris: this “grand vision” or “Big Idea” of his should have had an entire season or two’s worth of episodes behind it if it was ever going to stand a chance in hell at working.  I do not believe that the simple act of making these specific storytelling choices is in and of itself the problem, no matter how I might personally feel about it. The X-Files has been telling us a story involving horrifying genetic, physical, and reproductive assaults on its characters since 1995.  We just, y’know, occasionally used to think about the aftermath of those atrocities in scripts and on camera, in episodes like One Breath, Memento Mori, or the Emily arc.  What is abso-fucking-lutely a BIG problem, though, is if your reproductive horror show is executed as poorly as it was written in MSIV. Full stop. 

I will argue until I am blue in the face, though, that Dana Scully is not destroyed by this ending, no matter how poorly written it was. Chris Carter simply didn’t let this character actually do any of what she should have been doing with this ON SCREEN, where we could see her.  We now know for a fact that Chris was aware that he was leaving all of this off screen, so what I want to know is…why?  No, really.  I really want to know the answer, here.  Why on Earth didn’t you show us, Chris?  Hell, you could have even gotten this done with one, or two, or six additional bloated voiceover monologues, since most of what went down in MSIV wasn’t articulated *~anywhere at all~* outside of post-mortem press conversations. (Exhibit A: the entire Monica Reyes sub-plot.)

As a parent myself, I cannot even fathom what it would be like to find out that your child was capable of doing horrific, terrible, inhumane things. That’s also a pretty relevant–if extremely uncomfortable–concept right now, one that could have been grappled with in an era in which we are beginning to finally engage with mental health, gun control, and domestic terrorism in very public forums.  We are made to understand thanks to Avi, that Chris Carter apparently loves using The X-Files to ask us tough questions that don’t always have answers.  So…why the hell didn’t he do it here?  I mean, come ON!  What does it mean to be the parent, biological or otherwise, of a child capable of these horrors?  I’m not saying that any of us have to like it, but as written in MSIV, William is a sociopath.  William is not a human being.  William is not anyone’s child anymore, and William is for damn sure not something capable of being protected.  William can only destroy, because that is exactly what Fucking Carl (trademark pending) made him for. Whether in the Supersoldier sense, or in the New Syndicate global-contagion-let’s-wipe-out-humanity sense, we have been told that the CSM made him to be nothing more than a tool to help execute his own post-apocalyptic needs.

So after 18 years, Scully suddenly and very traumatically has to process that William was an experiment gone wrong (or right, I suppose, if you go talk to Carl). After 18 years, this is the William we’ve got. Can you even imagine how much worse it might have been for Scully if she had actually been there the whole time, watching this happen?  William had a good childhood, he was raised by good people, and he still turned into a sociopath, and he tells us so himself.  Was Scully ever a parent to what William ultimately turned out to be?  That’s…actually a pretty damn good question, in this context. 

And the answer to that question,  according to Chris, is that Scully was the mother of the idea of William, the mother of the idea of a child who was miraculously created out of nothing more than love.  She was the mother to the ideas and imaginings that she had about William for 18 long years.  She was that mother during her pregnancy, she was that mother during his infancy, and she was that mother when circumstances erroneously convinced her to put him up for adoption, in a move that we were told was to try to give him the best life she thought she couldn’t ever possibly give to him.  She was that mother in Ghouli, pouring her whole heart and soul into the idea of her son William in that heartbreaking morgue scene. So, no, I don’t think it means that she instantaneously stopped loving that idea of her son, when the shit hits the fan in MSIV.  But it does mean that she understands that her idea of William hasn’t ever been the right one: the “truth we both know" was actually a horrific lie.  “William…was an idea, created in a laboratory…” is true in this universe, for better or for worse.  Dissecting what that means for Scully, just this one single solitary point alone, should have been granted an entire episode, not 10 seconds on a pier. 

“Scully, he was our son! He was our son!”

He was.

He was their son. For 18 years, they both believed that he was their son. I don’t think anything Scully stutters and stumbles to explain to Mulder in this moment suggests that she doesn’t actually believe that, or grieve for that. It mostly indicates that Chris Carter has no idea how to write this magnitude of dropped psychological bomb. I think he does know his own limitations, which is why it all happens off screen.  Thanks only to Gillian Anderson’s acting, it does appear as though we are witnessing a confused, traumatized Scully here, one who has been exposed to so much death and destruction immediately proceeding this moment that she can’t even find the way forward.  Gillian Anderson, thankfully, fills in the cavernous script hole, and gives us a Scully who doesn’t know how to begin to explain what she has been forced to understand to a now very visibly fracturing Mulder. 

This is not a mother suddenly throwing away her decades of love for a child just because she is getting a “do over” baby. And the only reason we even had to consider whether or not that was the case at all, is solely because of the steaming pile of inadequate shit dialogue that was written for her.

Let’s step back now and consider Mulder, and how his presence impacts Scully’s reaction. Mulder, who shocks the hell out of all of us when he says, “if I am not a father, then what am I?” in MSIV. We have gone an exorbitant amount of time watching this man, who devoted his life to finding his lost sister, seemingly refuse to engage in the same manner with his own lost son.  So, we could take this as an example of even more what-the-actual-Carter-fuckery-are-we-doing-now, OR we could choose to listen to what Chris tells Avi, and believe him when he says this is the hidden motivation that’s been driving Mulder all these years.  You know, off screen.  Because this isn’t at all yet another concept that needed its own entire episode to explore.  Exploding entrails, bitches!

Or, how about we also revisit a much better writer’s take on all of this? Let’s pick up adoptive father James Wong’s narrative, because he actually kind of gets how this kind of thing might work.  In Ghouli, Mulder tells us that we’ve had no idea about his state of mind on any of this. Not ever.  And we can infer that that was intentional on Mulder’s part. He’s doing it because he thinks it is what he needs to do for Scully’s benefit. There is no possible way that Fox-Freaking-Mulder, you punks, didn’t have some ridiculously big feelings about all of this. He’s been presented on screen to us as having sublimated his feelings on the matter since he found out about William’s adoption in The Truth. He wasn’t there to make the choice, and whatever resentment or sadness he may feel about what Scully did, he is swallowing it for her.  He’s standing right beside her, he’s just listening.  That’s his choice.

Also courtesy of James Wong: we know that Mulder has outright lied to Scully about his feelings about William in the past.  In Founder’s Mutation, he tells Scully that he’s had to put it all behind him.  James Wong does what a writer should do to communicate a character’s motivations, by actually showing us that Mulder has lied to all of us at the end of the episode, and letting us see Mulder’s dreams about what parenting William could have been. 

So yes, I am going to take Chris at his word that these really are Mulder’s feelings in MSIV, even though he failed to articulate those motivations appropriately on screen.  Look, many of us have been complaining for years that Mulder’s seeming non-response to his lost son seemed wildly inconsistent with everything we know of his character.  I will take the bone Chris has so generously offered us here as an attempt to rectify all of that.  I think coming into peripheral contact with William in Ghouli began to dismantle Mulder’s carefully constructed walls of sublimation, and by the time he actually gets his hands on him in MSIV, the flood gates have opened and cannot be closed again.

I have no trouble at all buying the narrative that the idea of being a father has quiescently been the single thing holding Mulder together for almost two decades.  Look, I am absolutely here for that.  I think most hard core X-Files fans are absolutely here for that, too.  We know Mulder pretty damn well at this point, and we know that the loss of his sister shaped him forever.  You even made him bring it up in IWTB after years of dormancy.  So, yeah, I don’t have any trouble believing that through it all, while on the run, while locked away and adrift in the Unremarkable House for years, and when ultimately left by a very lost Scully who couldn’t bear north anymore, that this broken man from a broken family did indeed secretly cling to the idea of being a father.  That for all of his failings and losses, he wanted to believe that he had at least had a part in making this miraculous child he dreams is out there.  That he could believe that William was, in fact, living an idyllic childhood, the kind of childhood that he himself never got to have.  For so damn long, Mulder wanted to believe all of that. Yes, Chris, for fuck’s sake, I BUY that, okay? As obnoxious and stupid as that written line is, having now heard it for the 4,000th time, this concept is right on for Fox Mulder.

[Another aside: that line is the one and only moment that David Duchovny loses me in MSIV. But OMG, as an actor who has had to say this ridiculous line every which way to Sunday? I can’t say that I blame him. No one actually talks this way!  There is no actual right way to play it without making all of us want to crawl into a hole and die.] 

Okay.  So Mulder watches his son die. The ideas and dreams that he has carried beneath the surface this whole time die along with him.  Scully sees all of this happening to Mulder, and based on what the Wongverse has established, she has probably not ever seen it look like this for him.  So, what we are getting here is that for this one instance, we are seeing Scully put her own feelings about William second to Mulder’s feelings about William.  Every other moment between them thus far has been Mulder putting his own feelings second to Scully’s feelings about William, right?  I do believe that Chris Carter is daft enough to think that Scully got “her turn” in Ghouli, and so in MSIV, there’s no problem at all if we only get “Mulder’s turn.“  (And apparently, we also have time for Ford Mustang’s turn.) That all plays into the nonsensical words coming out of Scully’s mouth at the end of MSIV. Scully can’t find the words to speak to the guilt and pain she is trying to absolve Mulder of.  How could anyone?

Listen to Gillian’s work, actually giving us some damn meaning here:

“William…William was–”

William was.

Ultimately, here’s MY truth: I hate how the William narrative turned out. I have hated every single moment of the William narrative beyond the end of season 8.  Existence absolutely could have ended the series in the way in which these characters deserved to have their hero journeys end.  And you know, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if I found out that Chris Carter secretly hates that this ending got away from him, too.  I mean, look, we know Chris is a lying liar who is lying in all of the press he is doing right now, as he tries to convince the world that this has been The Grand Plan All Along.  Never mind that this plan is contradicted by his own press prior to 2018, never mind that it is contradicted by all of the other writers and producers who worked on the William story at the time it was conceived, and never mind that it is contradicted by the simple reality that every zig and zag in the X-Files universe beyond season 7 is really the result of never knowing if David or Gillian were going to participate in the story anymore going forward.  So, I’m sorry, but bull-fucking-shit that you had any of this in your head when William B. Davis wrote En Ami, Chris. Why not just admit that handling The X-Files was kind of impossible when one or both leads were maybe not going to be involved in telling the story anymore?  We would all completely understand that, Chris, no one would ever in a million years question that.  Of course you might wind up losing your narrative thread under those business circumstances. We aren’t blind to how the entertainment industry works. 

I mean, there was never any hesitation on Chris Carter’s part to explain why all things had the intimations of a sex scene, not for one minute ever, so don’t try to tell us now that he just kept a lid on the truth about what role En Ami was actually fucking serving in this story for 18 whole years. Sorry, bro, I am not buying it.  When you really think about it, how can Chris Carter possibly not know that he blew it years ago with William’s narrative?  It is precisely the impossibility of navigating the logistics of telling a story far beyond the boundaries set by the involvement of the real people making it that drive showrunners like Vince Gilligan to give themselves a finite amount of time to tell it.  Chris (or the Fox network, or whoever you want to blame) didn’t do that, and therefore he wound up giving up at least 4 other possible endings to The X-Files over to the uncertainty of actors continuing to involve themselves in this project.  I really do wonder if that’s why he went down this particular path of turning William into a monster, and I wonder if that is why he seemingly worked so hard over the course of his Struggles to try to strip Mulder and Scully’s ties to him. Because this really wasn’t the way it was supposed to happen.

And so now here we are, hitting the do over button with a new pregnancy.  I have no doubt that this guy thinks that he actually could hit the reset button just like that, and magically get back to the original poetic justice that these characters were given in their 2001 ending.  He probably thinks that the fans would see this as a gift, even! I mean, shippers were heard, amirite?  But even the idea of ending with a pregnancy, now many many many years too late, isn’t ultimately the real problem. All together, one more time for the folks in the back of the classroom: the problem is, and will always be, piss poor execution. You could hand this exact story to a Penumbra, or a syntax6, or an Aloysia Virgata, and I have no doubt it could be told in a beautiful (if utterly soul-crushingly painful) way.

So, fine. You want this to be the narrative, Chris? Fine. I will fill in the Grand Canyon of plot holes that you left us. The fandom will follow your stupid bread crumbs, and we will imbue them with the motivations and meaning you claim to have been driven by, but inexplicably chose not to write into any of your recent scripts.  William was. Fox Mulder and Dana Scully have been letting him go, piece by piece, for 18 years.  He was not meant to be.  He was, ultimately, not ever theirs, even though he was created from genetic pieces of them. (Fight me, Chris, you can have that CSM created him, but FUCK NO WE ALL DRAW THE LINE AT CARL’S SPERM!)  We can even give this bleak, wasted moodscape a soundtrack, if you want, in the form of a song you chose 10 years ago for them yourself: I will fire up UNKLE’s “Broken” right here, right now.  

And OKAY Chris, I will even follow you down the rabbit hole of this new pregnancy, and I will take it in the spirit of the way I want to believe you intended it: as a way to desperately claw our way back towards getting the ending Existence gave these characters, the ending that was supposed to be their just rewards for all the nightmares they have lived through.  Scully and Mulder are alive, they are a family, they are going to get to finally have a real human child, okay, fine, it’s fiiiiiiiiiine. I will go ahead and imagine that Scully, somewhere a few exquisite and bittersweet heartbeats down the road from the pier, is running away from the FBI and blowing up the motherfucking car (the Mustang, please).  Scully is going to row a damn boat to an island paradise on her babymoon with Mulder, her vibrator, and a blobfish.  You once wanted all of that to be the post-script for your characters, Chris. You lost the thread. I get it, I really do. 

Look, I’m not a gifted writer or a gifted storyteller. I’m a Scully Effect scientist working in medicine, and I’m an overanalyzer at heart.  My creative outlets skew in an entirely different direction.  I am a woman, though, and I am a mother, and people with life experiences just like mine might possibly have had the perspective that could have saved your story, Chris, if only you would’ve consented to hear us out.

If I had been given the chance to help figure out how to crawl out of the William mess created by all those years of renewal-or-not uncertainty, here’s what I might have suggested to you, Chris: let’s make William a savior, not a monster.  Let’s make William an empath with the power to heal others.  Let’s reference Scully’s alien DNA, her chip, Mulder’s season 7 alien artifact brain shit, and let’s say that all of that came together and allowed for the possibility of superhuman recombinant DNA magic once those two people came together.  Let’s give William the ability to read his biological parents’ minds and hearts from afar, but have it be a benevolent thing, and not a painfully torturous apocalyptic thing. Let’s have William come back to Mulder and Scully having harnessed his powers for good, after the New Syndicate killed his adoptive parents as part of a failed attempt to take him out of the picture. Let’s give some concrete evidence that William’s adoption did, for a time, keep him safe, to absolve Scully of that guilt.  Let’s have him tell Mulder that he saw all of the same dreams about building rockets, and father-son TV nights and talk.  Let’s end the New Syndicate’s plans by letting Scully have some motherfucking agency, y'know?  Remember?  Let’s let her do it all like she used to in the glory days, and go be the scientist that she is. Let’s have Scully save the world, by distilling out some saving grace compound from William’s superhuman blood, or stem cells, or whatever the fuck you want to ask Anne Simon to give you, to fight against the New Syndicate’s planned viral apocalypse.  Let’s have Mulder and William vanquish CSM together; these two sons taking out this toxic, villainous “father” that’s been hovering over this whole show, and let’s have them reclaim the narrative of fathers and sons as something that is good, and positive, and right.

Where’s the writer?  I want to speak to the writer!

In the end, Chris, you didn’t do Dana Scully any justice on screen at all.  But your inadequate words don’t get to be the last words on the subject of Dana Scully, nor do they get to define what she means to us. You can’t ruin her, Chris.  She belongs to us now.  We’ll take care of her. We’ll give her the ending she deserves.