#i was trying to figure out how im gonna make the dog on top

[yoshistory]

OKAY everythings all prepped for tomorrow i just have to level the cakes, assemble, and decorate. but im really excited

[izzy-b-hands]

My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.

[writteninlunarlight-years]

Sorry this request might be a little weird; Im gonna try and word it best I can. Can you do something with Alastor and the reader, who very slowly and maybe unintentionally became friends; where Alastor confesses his feelings and how much he cares for the reader... But the reader doesnt take him seriously? The reader basically doesnt think he is actually interested in dating them. The reader thinks its a joke, he is just trying to use them, or otherwise just trying to get something out of them. Not in like a distrustful way either. The reader has the attitude of 'oh yeah. The great radio demon who has girls falling at his feet and can get ANYONE he wants is interested in me? Right, good one.' Like its a self-esteem/self-worth thing stopping them from believing him. Oh and this is for Hazbin Hotel obviously, but just in case I had to say it.

Please Please Please~

(This honestly was me projecting because this is me anytime someone shows interest in me. I have horrible self-esteem issues lol)

When you woke in hell, you thought nothing of it, really. You did some good, and you sure did some bad, so maybe this was exactly where you were always supposed to be. You had no anger or frustration about your placement because you simply couldn’t care enough. Heaven or hell, you probably would still be fighting for something. If anything, you hoped you would just fall asleep in death, but where would the fun in that be?

Upon your arrival, a few things became quite clear: 1. It was a dog-eat-dog world here in hell, so be prepared for anything. 2. The more souls you own, the more powerful you are, so start making some friends to make just as many enemies. 3. You will always be less powerful and popular than the TV head and the Radio Demon.

The only downside is you never got to meet this Radio Demon. He had been missing for seven years, according to the streets, and long gone, but still, he was the talk of countless women and men, especially Vox. This wasn’t a surprise, though; how people explained his rise to power was even more impressive and unique to you. He would one day be a formidable foe if you crossed him, or would he? The last extermination was killer. Half your souls had been killed off, and you were left a lot weaker from an injury caused by angelic steel. A slash was going straight across your back from a poorly-timed dodge. You weren’t bad at fighting; you weren't good at it either. Usually, during exterminations, you would hide at the Vee’s tower or another notable place. However, unsurprisingly, you were kicked out after your loud denial of working with the Vees. 

Seeking refuge at the next best place, you stumbled upon the Hazbin Hotel. Delirious and in pain, it was indeed just a stumble into the lobby. Upon entering, you saw an excited and concerned blonde chick, someone with a spear, and then all that was left was just red—beautiful crimson red. 

Some days had to have passed; you only know this because your wounds were wrapped up, and the calendar in the room you were placed in had days since the extermination marked off. Five days you spent asleep resting and recouping. Though your body was mainly healed, the scar you saw on your back when you stood was anything but attractive. Sighing, you sat on the cold bathroom floor.

You were never much of a beauty in your mind. You were just simply good enough. Sometimes, you could seduce a soul into your clutches, win a soul gambling, and sometimes gain one from fighting—a jack of all trades, master of none. Yet now, your value has significantly decreased with a giant scare running across the expanse of your back. Sighing, you stood once more and decided you would figure out where the hell you were and who was stupidly kind enough to help you.

With your top half fully bandaged, you didn’t think about putting on a shirt. The idea of anything rubbing on your wound annoyed you greatly. So, being mindful of potential others, you walked around carefully, ensuring your bandages were tight. Looking around, it was a reasonably average hotel. Nothing was too crazy about it; it just had some eerie decor at the most.

Rounding the last corner, you found stairs that opened up to the lobby, and dear lord, above did you wish you stayed in your room. A loud, cheerful presence came bombarding you, shouting a hundred questions about your health, your name, and what happened. You almost wanted to retreat into the shadows at how brightly she shone when you agreed to stay at her hotel and take a shot at redemption.

You met the residents quickly after that. It's not like you had much of a choice anyway. Surprisingly, the one you clicked with the most was the famed Alastor, the Radio Demon. How you two clicked was beyond everyone, besides the fact you were cunning and a silver tongue speaker like the man himself. Maybe that is why he found you amusing and watched you work your magic on lulling Husk even into a secure enough place to talk to you.

His lack of asking for your soul surprised you more than anything. Though you knew Charlie had her rules in the hotel, that didn’t dissuade the Deer from making his own choices. You commended him for his poise and regality; you understood why he was the talk of the town even when Vox was trying so hard to be the new it boy. Alastor was handsome in a nonconventional way; he was refined, elegant, and poised. He treated women like a gentlemen and men like they were just one step below him. 

You wouldn’t lie to yourself and say you weren't enamored; you liked him a lot from just the first handful of conversations. However, one late night really sealed the nail in your coffin of love for the affamed Overlord. You two were sitting on the lobby chair, the long-forgotten bar, and a nursed bottle of Whiskey between you two. Each new glass only brought you two closer, having a lot of similarities. 

You also killed upon your time on earth as a means to protect the ones you cared about and end those who acted foolishly like them. You also died an untimely death at the hands of something out of your control. You were both quick-witted and capable of compelling those around you with your voice and words. The only significant difference was he was an Overlord, a beautiful, attractive overlord. At the same time, you were just a sinner with a few damned souls that saw potential in you.

After that night, you and Alastor grew a lot closer. You would even dare to call him your best friend, knowing that nothing more would ever come of your two relationship past that. Not only was Alastor continuously turning women and men down left and right, but Angel was convinced the man didn’t know what romance or sex was. You couldn’t help but agree with him as every beautiful person who crossed his path was quickly shooed away or disposed of. 

As the Adam-led extermination approached, you noticed Alastor took a particular interest in your training. You were opting for him to train you and approve your placement on the battlefield. Your heart soared at his kindness, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up. He didn’t want to lose a like-minded friend, which was all this was. As you all prepared for the event, his sudden and lingering hug was just him being worried about a friend.

You would do and say anything to convince yourself he just saw you as a friend, even as he scolded you for your injuries after the battle. He just cared a lot about his best friend. You were nothing comparative in power and prestige as Alastor was, so he would never see you as more. This was all just a fond kindness he used with Niffty, Roise, and Mimzy. You wouldn’t allow yourself to be a fool and believe anything more would happen. 

As your affection grew for the Radio Demon, so did your self-doubt and negative self-esteem. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself like Mimzy, pining after a demon that would never love you. Your nights at the bar became more and more apparent enough that Husk took to talking to you and trying to help you out. This didn’t go unnoticed by the boss of said man. No, instead, jealousy was brewing inside of him, watching you grow closer to the cat demon. Jealousy that was soon to reach a head.

Alastor was utterly infatuated with you. You were a perfect mix of normalcy and insanity, something he admired dearly. You were not overbearing or clingy like Mimzy, not psychotic and wild like Niffty, and not motherly and borderline insane like Rosie. No, you were a perfect combination of what he loved in all his dear friends. That’s all you were right, a dear friend. It didn’t help that you stopped spending time with him and hanging around Husk; he grew irate. 

He needed help and fast; who better to turn to than his motherly companion, Rosie? Wanting to get you out of Husk's grasp, though he invited you along on the trip. It was pleasant. You wrapped around his arm as he led you through the streets, up until cannibal town people cowering at your feet. Once in cannibal town, though, the women came flocking. He was used to this, declining, pushing people away, and even allowing his shadows a meal or two. However, the frown on your face was the least of his expectations. He hadn’t long to question it before you two arrived at Rosie’s Emporium. 

As you two entered, you were immediately enamored with all of the goods Rosie had sold. Once quick introductions were out of the way, Alastor approached the side table to speak with his friend while you looked around more. His worries and fears were confirmed, though; he was, in fact, in love with you. Alastor wasn’t one to skimp on charm; he was a gentleman who would court you properly. 

After your visit to Rosies, you noticed a new change in Alastor. He was quite literally everywhere you were. You couldn’t get far without him complimenting you, giving you a gift, or asking you to accompany him on errands. You figured that your time secluding and hanging out with Husk might have made him think you didn’t want to be friends anymore. So, with a smile, you welcomed this change and stuck through it. Why not accept his doting behavior before he finally broke your heart and said he didn’t like dating or got a partner? 

This went on for months. The lingering touches, longer hugs, late-night talks, gifts galore, and, most importantly, him letting his guard down around you made you feel special. According to Husk, he hasn't done this with any of his other close friends. This made you almost hope that there was something more. Alastor had countless options, though, so of course, he would never choose you. Why would you allow him to embarrass you like that? 

After six months of pursuing you, Alastor believed he had amply courted you. He had enlisted the help of Charlie and Vaggie to set up the lobby so he could ask you to be his officially. The room was perfect: low lighting, candles, your favorite flowers, and food placed out. All that was missing was you there on his arm. He knew it was perfect for you, everything to your heart's desire. 

You were in shock as you entered the lobby after an impromptu errand Charlie needed to be done. You couldn’t even begin to understand what was going on. As you walked in, you saw Alastor sitting at the table before you, a large smile on his face. You looked at him quizically. “Uh, Al, what is all this?” He looked around awkwardly—that was the first time you saw that expression. “Well, Y/N, what does it look like? Of course, it's a date for us, in the hotel's safety.” You scrunched up your eyebrows, trying to process his words. “A date?” He seemed to be growing more tense by the moment; he expected you to be happy and excited, and you seemed to like his courting so much. “Yes, dear, we have been courting for some time now, which leads me to believe you were ready for a date. Was I mistaken?” You were taken aback. Are you courting? When did that happen? You looked at Alastor, trying to piece together the puzzles. Could he have liked you all this time? No, there is no way; he had so many options, so many better, less disfigured options. “Al, are you waiting for a different girl? Is this some like practice run for a person you want to date? You shouldn’t play with me like this. It’s not nice.” Alastor looked genuinely upset, only momentarily before his signature smile returned. “No, Y/N. This is for you. I have been courting you. Did you not realize my advances towards you? I have been avidly seeking you and you alone out.” You started to tear up. You wanted to believe him; you did, but it was hard. You weren’t the best; you weren’t the strongest. You had nothing going for you than surviving hell each day. “What, no? What do you mean? You can’t mean me. I am nothing, Alastor. I am nothing; I would just be embarrassing you. You are a powerful Overlord—a handsome, sought-after man. I am nothing. I am just here a sinner designed to fight through hell, that is all.” Alastor began to realize what you were getting at. You didn’t see yourself as being good enough for him. He never learned the toll you put yourself through watching person after person fall to his feet. You were watching him turn them all away and go about his day. You thought he was going to do the same to you. You thought you would never be good enough for him when you have always been what he wanted all along. 

“Oh, Y/N, no.” He rushed over to you, holding you close. Even as you fought to push him away, he stayed holding you close until you calmed. “Y/N, it has always been you. Yes, I am rough around the edges and have high expectations, but you meet them, Y/N. Can you not see how close and compatible we are since the day you moved in?” You stilled and listened. Could it be true that he liked you too this whole time? What if this was some sick prank to torture you? You looked up at Alastor, a genuine smile replacing his normal, calculated one. “Alastor, if I agree with this, you won't hurt me, right?” He sighed and held you close. “I can’t promise not to hurt you; I am an overlord and a selfish creature. However, I promise never to lie, cheat, or steal from you. I choose to love you and you alone, Y/N.” You smiled brightly and reached up, kissing his lips softly. His arms snaked around your waist as he deepened the kiss, and both of you closed your eyes. You could easily get used to being the top overlord's girl. 

Just please, please, please let him prove you wrong…

[ohbo-ohno]

If I chant noncon puppy play enough times will you grace us with more ghoap x reader noncon puppy play?

I would really love to see what you could do with Ghost coming across Soap and reader who are in a relationship but it’s rapidly becoming toxic with Soap becoming pervy and flirty with other people and reader being frustrated with it and the unsatisfying sex she’s having now because of it. And Ghost just takes one look and goes “yeah, I can make them happier” and then puts them in crates.

I like to think he’d put them in separate crates so they can’t actually touch each other but he’d make sure they were tied together so they couldn’t escape each other -💙

if you THINK noncon puppy play hard enough i'll probably feel it through the force and try to write it

also i fucking LOVE this ask and concept i love you for sending it in. this post is kinda scatterbrained though because i didn't want to write an actual drabble lol

im not a big fan of cheating in fics so im gonna exclude the idea of soap flirting with other people, but!!! i really really enjoy the idea of soap and reader being wrapped up in a toxic relationship and ghost going "let me get in on that". peak humor tbh.

i think this version of ghost would be sort of like howling and barking ghost - way more... subtle? puppy play. he's not taking you two home and shoving you in cages, he's getting you two conditioned to certain tones of voice and his whistles.

this is kinda difficult to come up for something with, because im trying to think of ways for ghost to slide himself into your relationship that even feel a tiny bit natural

my fave one (off the top of my head) is maybe you and johnny have been trying to pick up a third like every weekend to spice up your sex lives (you end up having near violent sex and arguing through the third person, and they're usually not down to hook up again) and one weekend you just so happen to ask ghost. he'd usually never take up an offer like that, but he sees the little fissures in your relationship pretty immediately and figures "what the hell?" might as well wreak a little havoc. unfortunately for him he gets far too attached as soon as he gets his hands on you two

i like to think he sort of just... becomes your third. at first it's just hookups (regularly, because you and johnny are fighting a lot recently and you love to do it with a third there instead of alone in your apartment and ghost never says no a threesome) but he pretty quickly establishes himself in your lives

from there, the training is easy. you and johnny are both fighting for power in your relationship, and you're too focused on your little game of tug-of-war to realize that ghost is swooping in and taking control of both of you instead. you're too busy working against each other to realize what he's doing to you

to be fair, he actually is helping you and johnny out quite a bit. you two are both hotheads with a lot of energy, fights happen very quickly and get very heated. ghost is there to step in, to knock the two of you on your asses and make you talk. you would not believe how often he sticks you in time-out, otherwise you two would say things you don't mean and end up pissy

he kinda literally talks to you two like you're dogs. a sharp "hey!" for bad behavior, scruffing one of you by the neck to hold you back, whistling to get your attention instead of saying your name, one word commands like "sit", "stay", and "come" instead of "wait a minute" or "come over here". pups need simple commands they can actually understand

he works on fixing your manners too :/

first step is to get you two waiting for permission to start dinner. sits down at the table and glares when either one of you eats before him, clears his throat all obnoxiously, does that horrible "thank you" when you drop your utensil. it's too awkward to push back against him (especially when you know how quickly he could stomp you down) and it's easier to just... listen. you get a pleased hum and a solid pet over your hair, a "good boy/girl" and the trade-off of waiting for permission to eat is worth it

(ghost places both yours and johnny's plate in front of you, smirks when he walks away and neither of you move to eat. fixes himself a plate, sits down, takes a few bites. neither of you move, you both get a little squirmy, huff a bit. he gives you the command word, and praises you both so good in bed that night. neither of you even notice that he's the only one at the table with utensils)

he sleeps between the two of you in bed because you both get jealous and possessive :/ wakes up to johnny snarling over his chest at you, grabs him by the jaw and hisses don't make me fuckin' muzzle you, rumbles all satisfied when johnny settles a bit

anyways you and johnny genuinely are happier with ghost <3 you're also more well-mannered and understanding of your positions!!! you're just a pup, pups shouldn't have an attitude, and they wait to eat until they're told, and sometimes they have to sleep in a crate when they've been bad :/

(when he crates one of you he has to crate the other. if he locks johnny up you spend the whole time trying to taunt him, and vice versa. also you two are more well-behaved when you know you both get in trouble for your misbehavior)

it took a bit of work to get you two used to the crates. really ghost fights you with the pure power of nonchalance. you're both already Attached, and he's in control of so much of your lives (more than either of you really know), and he treats the crates like they're normal. Expected. he's not someone who changes his mind, and both you and johnny know that. you can pitch as much of a fit as you want, but you're going in that crate no matter what. there's just... a sort of inevitability around ghost

[1427]

When the Levee Breaks (pt. 1)

Daryl Dixon x OFC

The one in which a stripper that used to know Merle and Daryl shows up at the Atlanta camp. Daryl’s feelings are complicated but mostly he hates her. Right?

Chapt. Setting: Atlanta camp

Chapt. Warnings: degrading and sexist language, season 1 Daryl, he’s not nice in this, probably won’t be for a while. 

Word count: 1600 

A/N : (aka authors warning) this is written in Daryl’s POV soOo idk. Probably not everyone’s bag. Maybe it’s no one’s bag. These first three chapters are kinda rough and I’m sorry but I can only proofread my own stuff so many times before I either post it or delete it forever.

masterlist

17+ mdni for the whole story

After stringin’ a few squirrels for dinner I figure I should get back to camp. ‘m breakin’ through the tree line, and that’s when I see her.  Beatle. Beatle, for the first time in… shit, who knows? Definitely years, I’m not exactly sure how many. Beatle, just fuckin’ sittin’ at my fire. Like somehow she knew it was mine and showed up just to take it from me. Just sittin’. Smile on her face like she belongs there. She doesn’t. She doesn’t belong at this camp, with these people. Shit, Beatle doesn’t even belong alive if I’m bein’ honest. 

No one in this fuckin’ camp can hunt worth a damn.  They’re gonna expect me to feed ‘em, ain’t they? Eventually. Eventually the food’ll run out and it’ll just be me feedin’ fuckin’ everyone. M’not doin’ it. I’m not doin’ shit for ‘em anymore. Why should I? Left my brother on that roof to rot. Naw, I’ll hunt for my damn self. Don’t even know why I’m still fuckin’ here. Should be out findin’ Merle. Honestly, don’t even know why I’m not.

Even before the dead started walkin’. I figured her days were numbered since the first fuckin’ time I met ‘er. Drunk as hell, eyes glassy, loud annoying voice barkin’ like a damn dog. Just yap yap yappin at Merle and me, tits half hangin’ outta her bikini top. Ones cinched in the string like she’d just forgotten to take ‘em out from her last time around the bar. A dumb drunk bitch, Beatle. Stupid fuckin’ stripper name. Who’s dick gets hard over a stripper named Beatle? 

I watch her, just for a second, checkin’ to see if maybe it’s not really her. But it is. ‘Course it fuckin’ is. 

Shane’s the first person I see that’s not doin’ anything, going through some clothes in a duffel bag in the back of a van, figure he might know, “Where the fuck did she come from?” Pointing toward Beatle, her back to us, fifty yards away. Stupid purple hair blowing all over the damn place. 

Shane looks to see who I’m pointing at, but who the fuck else is new at camp? His eyes finally land on Beatle before looking back at me like he’s trying to fight the smile on his damn face, “Why? You interested?”

I’m tryin’ not to lose my shit that she’s even fuckin’ here. “Nah…” I shake my head, “I know ‘er.”

Shane looks up, surprised maybe, and then not. Looking from Beatle back to me again, eyeing us up. “Yeah, makes sense.” 

I squint back at ‘im, “S’that supposed ta mean?” 

He shrugs, making a face, before smiling again, folding another shirt into his pack, “Just that you look like you might know eachother.” He doesn’t say more but I know what he’s not sayin. “Is all.” He adds on the end just to reiterate. 

He means we’re both fuckin redneck trash to anyone who looks at us. I look back over at her, startin’ to get real mad at this jarhead dickhead. Not for her or nothin’. Even if he’s right, he don’t gotta say it. Or maybe it was the way he said it. Or the way he didn’t say it. Like a fuckin’ pussy. 

A part of me feels like standin’ up for myself. Hell, a part of me feels like stickin’ up for Beatle. But, shit, it’s not even worth it.

I cough up a lougie and spit it close to his foot. “So where’d she come from?” I’m fuckin’ repeating myself. I hate fuckin’ repeating myself. 

“Think she just wandered in. Must’ve been lost in the woods or something. Ask Rick. He seems to know everything.”

Can’t keep myself from crackin’ at his petty comment. Always so fuckin’ loud with his contempt, makin’ the situation obvious to anyone with eyes. Messy. 

I decide I’m gonna ask ‘er. She’s gonna see me eventually. Better I approach her first, right? Don’t need to get football tackled in the middle of doin’ somethin’ else when she sees me for the first time. So I pull out a cigarette and start walkin’ over.

She’s talkin’ to Andrea. She fuckin’ would. Both of them loud dumb bitches. Talking about all the dumb shit they miss since everything’s turned to shit. Not talkin’ about people or nothin’ important. Just bullshit like getting your damn nails done, and eating fuckin’ ice cream. 

“Where’d you fuckin’ come from?” Sayin it louder than I meant. More aggressive than I thought my voice would sound. Usually fuckin’ is, though.  The laughing between Andrea and Beatle stops and they look over at me, just standing there waitin’ for it to register. Waitin’ for Beatles reaction. Starin’ ‘er the fuck down like she doesn’t fuckin’ belong here. She doesn’t. 

Beatles eyes light up, getting up from her chair and runnin’ over to me like she’s never been more excited to see someone in her whole damn life. I try to brace myself, but she still rocks me backward as she jumps on me, “Daryl!” Should have stopped her, could have moved just right out of the way. But nah, I let her. 

I don’t hug her back though, just push her off and let her own feet catch her. Dumb bitch doesn’t know personal boundaries. Her voice so close to my ear, “Damn, don’t look so happy to see me.”

Happy to see her? I’m not. Didn’t think I could be so unhappy to see a familiar face in my whole fuckin’ life. But she wasn’t letting that stop her, never fuckin’ did. “I was lost, found this camp. They said I could stay.” She explains, her voice high and happy and annoying as it ever was. At least she’s not drunk. 

Everyone around the fire had gone back to what they were doing. Not watchin’ us anymore. They could probably see as well as Shane that it was obvious how we knew eachother. Well, maybe not exactly how. But they probably had a good idea. 

I dunno what to say to her explanation, so I don’t say nothin’. And she just stands next to me, too close, clearly not gettin’ the hint that I didn’t really wanna talk to her. Just wanted to know why she was here. Now I know. She wasn’t gettin’ that she could and should just go back to her conversation with Andrea about ice skating, or cocktails, or what the fuck ever. 

“What about you?” Her voice quieter for fuckin’ once. 

I shake my head, blowing smoke out, “Merle and me, met up with everyone...” I don’t feel like explaining it, so I don’t. 

Beatle’s lookin’ up at me, her big eyes all wide and excited like a dumbass deer too stupid to move out of traffic, “Merle’s here?” 

This coil of disgust, I feel it snaring it’s way through my abdomen. Yeah, that’s the feeling Beatle usually gives me. Back like it never fuckin’ left. “Nah, not anymore. Sorry to dry your cunt.” 

Beatle says “Ew” fast. Like she’s so disgusted by my vocabulary. Like she isn’t just as crude, the things I heard that little mouth of hers say. 

“He’s not…” she means dead.

“Nah, hes not dead.” Usually this is where I talk something nice about Merle, about how he’s a tough sunuvabitch or some other shit. But not to Beatle. Beatle already knows, and for some reason talking about Merle with her makes me.. fuck… whatever. 

Glancing over, it looks like Beatle’s finally got the hint that I don’t wanna talk to her. She probably really was excited to see me, and I almost feel bad for a second. Before she puts her grubby fuckin’ hand in my face and asks if she can have a cigarette. Needy fuckin’ bitch. 

I laugh right in her face. At the gall of her. That at the end of it all, of everything; she was still trying to get some fuckin’ handout. “Naw.”

“Oh, come on, Daryl, please? I haven’t had one in days!” As if I give a shit what she has or hasn’t had. Hasn’t seen me in years and wants to ask for favors? 

I keep draggin’ on my cigarette, blowin’ the smoke out, and m’not smiling anymore, “I said naw. I don’t see your tits out, why would I give you anything?” Fuck repeating myself.

“You wanna see my tits?” She says it like it’s actually a question. Like she really fuckin’ believes that I’m askin’. 

“You’re a dumb bitch, Beatle, y’know tha’?” I shake my head at her, laughin’ at her again. She’s fuckin’ ridiculous.  Taking another drag I realize the cig is trash, and I almost throw the butt into the fire but decide to hand it to her instead. 

She takes it, with needy fingers like I knew she fuckin’ would. Trying to hide my smile at how fuckin’ pathetic she always seems to be.  Watching her take my trash like it’s fuckin’ gold. She drags it once, I can smell the filter burning and she throws it in the fire. “Next time maybe you’ll share one with me?” Her voice is so sweet it makes me sick. Like I didn’t just call her a dumb bitch to her face. 

Saccharine and fake, that’s how she’s always been. All her cute little movements and motions, all just tryin’ to work me up so I’ll share my smokes or listen to her dumbass whine about anything and everything. Annoying.

“Prolly not.” And I’m already walking away from the fire. From Beatle. Going back to my tent and praying to god, Jesus Christ, don’t let her follow. 

Chewin’ on what she said. Lost, huh? See? Didn’t even belong alive. 

pt 2

[slujactivist]

yet 🤞. jeremy is so funny lmao. and katelyn/aaron make me a little insane tbh, mainly bc it shows how biased neil's naration is, but also because im a sucker for a happy ending. now im gonna assume things again, but do you like aftg AUs? what are your favorite fic tropes, when you read aftg fics? any recs?

I loooooove aftg AUs!! One of my favorite AU fics that I've read (it's still ongoing) is The Sun Still Rises by mordax, it's an AU where Mary has a second son (Alex) while they're on the run so once she dies, Neil has to juggle Everything Else while also raising his lil brother. It's so well written and it does a great job portraying Neil as a Flawed but Trying parental figure. And also the foxes interacting with small children. And also seth doesn't die and accidentally becomes part of the Neil-and-brother defense squad 🤣

My other top AU is raven!nathaniel. Those are (understandably) much darker fics but there are So Many good ones

A switchblade is my preferred weapon by badacts;

This Is What Hollows by constellationqueen;

Black As Is The Raven, He'll Get A Partner by nekojita (this one also contains Neil/Ichirou as a non-endgame pairing so proceed with caution)

Some of my other top fic pics:

under the kitchen lights (you look like dynamite) by ephemeralsky (neil and andrew are neighbors and neil has a service dog) (this was also one of the first fics I read after finishing the series back in 2019)

me & the devil by andreil (in which neil fends off one of his father's men who broke into their house);

Careful Hands by fairietailed (soulmate AU where neil and andrew share each other's injuries over the years 😬);

it's a graceless dance of epithets by sashawire (post binghamton riot from Several perspectives)

My aftg ao3 bookmarks list is like 10 pages long, so these are just some of the ones I've picked out!!

In terms of favorite Tropes, I'm always a fan of Angst and Hurt/Comfort which is probably evident from all the recs I included 🤣 I also really enjoy fics that include slice-of-life foxes shenanigans, especially if it's from other Fox POVs (special shout out to wymack POV <3)

I hope that answered your questions, anon! <3 downed a monster energy and blacked out for an afternoon while i wrote this and skimmed through all the fics I included as recommendations 😅

[oncamelliastreet]

depression rant <3

idk sometimes i would like for just one thing in my life to go well. like literally not even my playlist is working right now. 700 songs off of my 1200 song playlist i listen to everyday disappeared so i have to make a new one. and the new one is only showing up on my phone, not my ipad. and i can’t fix it.

and as much as i wish he was, i really don’t think my crush is into me too. i don’t think im likeable. im not pretty enough to attract anyone (girls aren’t even in the picture at school because it’s literally a catholic school in the midwest everybody is homophobic and guys either chose the prettier girls or date someone outside of our school). and even if i was attractive i don’t think my personality is enough. i’m too quiet and anxious at first for anyone to stick around and get to know me. there will always be someone better in comparison. and yk what even if i did manage to find someone who liked me back they would probably leave the second they found out im really not comfortable with having sex any time soon (if ever) at all. i’m just gonna die alone with my dogs while my sisters live their happy lives with their families.

and none of my friends even care about me outside of school. they talk to me when i’m in their classes but outside of school i’m not getting invited anywhere. and when i do get invited somewhere, like to hang out at my “best friends” house for example, her neighbor she’s friends with conveniently is coming over and she couldn’t figure out how to say no so they’re just talking the whole time and i’m just there in the background. or i’ll try to make plans and then they’ll cancel on me 30 minutes before they’re supposed to show up 4 times in a row. because their’s always something better to do.

and my head hurts all of the time and i went to a neurologist for it but i basically have to try a bunch of pills that almost definitely won’t work before i can get to the stuff most likely to be effective because the stuff that will probably help is more expensive and my insurance won’t cover it if i haven’t tried the stuff that won’t work and is cheaper. and i had a headache all day during my family gathering for my moms birthday because i used a shampoo that smelled a little bit and i felt like throwing up from it, and my mom had to wash my hair over the sink like a baby half way through the day because it was so intolerable.

and on top of that i couldn’t even get my mom a good present for her birthday because i dont have a job to be able to afford anything and i couldn’t go shopping with what little money i have because i dont have a drivers liscence and none of my siblings live close to home anymore so i had nobody to take me shopping. so everybody got her a really nice and thoughtful present and i got her fucking flowers because that’s the shitty daughter i am i guess.

and my dog has had a lot of spine issues because she’s a hot dog and they’re really prone to back injuries. and she’s been acting really weird the last week and i’m worried she’s gonna get hurt for like the 7th time. and it feels like nobody but me and my mom take it seriously because my older sisters will pick her up like it’s no problem even though every time she gets picked up a lot she gets hurt some time soon after. and my fucking grandma invited her to jump up on the couch when nobody was paying attention (she absolutely cannot jump on couches for the rest of her life, every time she does she gets SUPER injured) but i couldn’t say anything because she’s an old lady so i was just on the edge of a panic attack the entire day even though i just wanted to yell at her because she completely ignored us EVERY time she comes to visit. literally every time she’s here my dog ends up jumping on a couch and is hurt and crying in her bed unable to move days later. and it seems like im the only one who cares.

and on top of that it’s now one in the morning and i have to be up in 5 hours to take the psat which im gonna fail because im horrible at standardized testing and theyre online now which means i really can’t focus at all and im just a lost cause.

i give up trying atp.

[quijabored]

I always see those "They could never make me hate you, [Insert character whos problematic]" and I was trying to figure out which character I related that to.

YEAH SO I HAVE NONE OF THOSE

Kokichi Ouma from Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony?? He's INCREADIBLY problematic in his own fandom and for good reason. He's an ass, he's responsible for 4 deaths, he's a liar, he's a manipulator, HES NOT DEFENDABLE. AND YET HES MY FAVORITE CHARACTER??? HELLO??? I might post more Ouma art tbh, love drawing the stupid idiot. ISTG I HATE HIM JUST AS MUCH AS THE NEXT PERSON, BUT HES SO... STUPIDLY WELL WRITTEN AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY???

Jax from The Amazing Digital Circus. Not AS problematic as Ouma, but still relatively dislikes throughout the fandom. Jax is a jerk and while I'm hoping we get to see why or more of his character, he's still a jerk. AND YET AGAIN, HES MY FAVORITE???? WHY. WHY. WHY. I HAVE LIKE 5 OTHER CHARACTERS I COULDVE LIKED, WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE HIM????

Fyodor Dostoyevsky from Bungo Stray Dogs. HATE THAT MAN WITH A BURNING PASSION. HES A MANIPULATIVE BASTARD, HES AWFUL TO ATSUSHI, HES PROBABLY GONNA KILL NIKOLAI, AND HES SO.... SO STUPID??? I HATE HIM???? WHY IS HE IN MY TOP 5 AGAIN??? WHY DO I WANT TO BASH HIM AGAINST THE SIDEWALK IN A LOVING WAY???

Wanderer from Genshin Impact. STUPID IDIOT CRINGE 2020 SOUNDING ASS, I HATE HIM. He's so??? GOD EVERYTHING IN MY BEING WANTS TO KILL HIM. I love Wanderer so much hes such a well written character but GOD he's annoying. HES ONE OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE CHARACTERS BUT AAAGHHHHH HE MAKES ME WANT TO RIP MY LUNGS OUT which is honestly a good thing cuz that means they're doing his character right BUT AAGHHHH

Mahito from Jujitsu Kaisen. OKAY I HAVENT FINISHED JJK YET IM STILL ON SEASON 1 (Mostly bc Ive seen hella spoilers and its just taking me a while to actually watch it since I already know what happens) BUT AAGHHHHHH MAHITO SUCKS I HATE HIM. HES SO CHILDISH AND HE KILLED JUNPEI, MY SON, MY BABY, MY ADORATION??? SO WHY THE HELL IS HE MY SECOND FAVORITE??? First place goes to my GOAT MEGUMI but yk ✌️ HES SUCH AN ASSHOLE AND HES SUCH A BRAT BUT JESUS CHRIST I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 😭😭😭

Kyuubey from Puella Magi Madoka Magica. He's not my favorite character since he could never replace Homura and Sayaka, but I also really really like how his characters made?? BUT THE THINGS HE DOES ARE IRREDEEMABLE AND I HATE HIM??? AAAAAAAAA???

chat I'm trying so hard to think of more examples

Okay weird example, but Rascal from Glitter Force. HES A MAJOR VILLAIN, HE LIKE ALMOST CAUSED THE END OF THE WORLD??? AAAAA??? BUT HES SO FUN TO WATCH ON SCREEN OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM

Sunday from Honkai Star Rail. FAVORITE CHARACTER, HES MY GOAT, HES SO AWESOME BUT OH MY GOD HE MAKES ME WANT TO TORTURE MYSELF AND NOT IN A HOT WAY. I HATE HIM SO MUCH HES SO AAAGHHHH HES SO PATHETIC AND HES SUCH AN ASSHOLE BUT THATS ALSO A GOOD THING CUZ THAT MEANS THEURE DOING HIS CHARACTER RIGHT BUT AAAGHHHHHHH

Yuri from Spy x Family. Hes WEIIRDDD and I hate the incest trope guys please please please please WHYYYY. Still, he's my favorite character and I like watching him but he can get hella annoying fr 😔

Dare I say the plantain chips my mom buys? Dude I HATE plantains but oh my GODDD is that seasoning yummy 🤤🤤

Love Aku, but if anyone hates him I'm personally getting into a fistfight with them. /j

[rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me]

i love to imagine the boys with a friend who’s parents own a ranch, or just being on a ranch. it feels like it’d be adorable chaos.

Dally is afraid of horses. he can’t stand them BUT cause he always wants to seem all tough and cool and whatever he always helps feed the cattle (which happens to be at the top of a field and you can only take the horses there. over time he warms up to the horse he normally takes and after a while you can see him just riding it around the ranch for fun. he’s still afraid of all other horses though

Darry would do anything that needs strength of course, like carrying feed bags n stuff. he’d be great help. he’d also probably make snacks for everyone at least 4 times a week. darry just loves to bake ok? leave him be.

Two-Bit is probably my favourite. he doesn’t mind horses and will go out to the stables every once in a while, he likes to brush them and braid their manes. his favourite are the dogs though, im imagining you have maybe 3 dogs? something like a collie, working dogs yk? either way you can find two running around with them, then lying in the grass while they attack him with hugs n stuff. UGH I CANT TWO IS SO ADORABLE.

you won’t see soda during a day at the ranch. the first day he was there he claimed a horse and every time he’s there now him and this horse spend the day together. he takes it out on a walk or whatever it’s called, brushes it and feeds it a few sugar lumps. at the end of the day don’t be surprised to find them in some field asleep, both of them, soda probably uses the horse as a pillow.

Ponyboy isn’t a big fan of being out on the ranch all day but he won’t mind it so much if there’s a big tree somewhere. he’ll sit under it and read a book or he’ll paint the view. he enjoys that more than the being out doing work or being out on the horses. though he might pop into the stables to draw some of the horses, maybe to a field to draw the cows too.

Steve spends the day on the tractor or something. need the grass cut? steve’s on it! need a field ploughed? steve does that too. Need to bring some feed up to the cattle really far away? you guessed it, steve! he just loves driving, but i do think he’d spend some time with two and the dogs, as well as some time with the cattle. i feel like if it was the time of year where there’s some calves on the ranch he’d be out there, and he’s really gentle with them too which shocks most people since he’s so energetic.

and johnny,, i’m sorry i can never think of anything for johnny i just don’t really like him 😭 but he and pony would be similar, he’d sit under a tree and watch everyone, or maybe he’d be trying to figure out a book. i think that if you asked for a hand with anything he’d be on the job though. maybe he’d make y’all some lemonade if it’s a hot summer day, you never know.

i have a lot of thoughts and i just love them.

If there’s one thing I’m passionate about, it’s cowboys and ranching. Take a seat, get a drink. This is gonna take a while

Dally’s problem with the horses is that his cool, tough guy act doesn’t work with them. They don’t care who he thinks he is, they’re just horses and they act how they wanna act. This man makes friends with one horse, totally horse girl style. It’s gonna be that one trouble horse that nobody else could bond with. Dal gets to where he can feed that horse sugar cubes out of his hand and the horse chews on his sleeves. Anyone else gets close to that horse? They’re gonna get kicked to kingdom come. But not Dal. He likes the cows. Will not offer to help milk if that needs to be done, but is willing to feed and likes to pat their heads, right between their ears

I just wanna say, I regularly carry 50lb bags of chicken feed by myself and those suckers are awkward to carry. If you lug feed, you’re strong. Also. DARRY IN A COWBOY HAT. DARRY IN A COWBOY HAT. He’s the most helpful around the ranch, honestly. Does most of the cooking. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He’s up with the sun and likes to stand on the porch with a cup of coffee and watch the cattle move around the fields. Listen, that man could bake for me any day. I’d buy him anything he wanted if it meant a chocolate cake waiting for me at the end of the day-

Two-Bit is my favorite and you’re literally so right. He’s into the horses, but he hates sitting in the saddle all day long. He’ll do tack though! Loves to saddle them up and kiss their noses as he slips the bridles over their faces. I freaking love farm dogs. He’d go nuts over a heterochromatic-eyed collie or one of those big mastiffs. Especially one of those cattle dogs. Aussie cattle dog? They’d be besties. They’d roll around in the grass all day and trail after him when he comes out to work during the day. He’s a big fan of the cows too, especially the little ones. The thought of him carrying around newborn calves is swimming around in my brain-

Sodapop does nothing but horses all day long. I don’t know if you know it, but that picture of the guy asleep with a cow and the cow has its head on the boy’s chest? That’s Soda and his horse. They’re inseparable and they do some crazy things. Sodapop dotes on that horse like it’s his baby. He leaves early to take the horse out, comes in late cause he was finishing with brushing out his horse. When he talks, it’s about the horses. He’s a horse girl and that’s it, y’know? He’s living his best life on a ranch! Maybe not as into the cows, but when he’s not with the horses, he’s hanging around Steve

Ponyboy doesn’t like the cows, doesn’t like the horses. Two’s got the dogs, so there’s not a lot left for Ponyboy. Yeah!! He sits under a tree, perches on a fence and watches the ranch. He reads most of the time, hiding in the shade and from whatever work someone’s gonna make him do. He makes a few pictures, Soda with his horse, Two-Bit under the squirming dogs, Steve on the tractor. They find themselves pinned up to the fridge for everyone to admire. He’s got a real touch for the horses though? He’s good at calming them? But he just doesn’t like them too much-

The ranch is the perfect place for Steve because the ranch allows for endless tinkering and fooling around with machinery. Boyo loves the tractor. He comes in to mealtimes, smeared in grease and grime. You’re constantly having to remind him to wash up before he takes a seat at the table. He likes the dogs! Probably befriends one of them and brags to Two-Bit that the dog likes him better. And, ugh, yes. Him and the calves. He’s really good at bottle feeding the ones who need to be. He’s got callouses, but he’s got the most gentle touch and honestly I want to kiss him so badly it hurts.

Johnny likes the horses, but most of the time, he’d rather hang out under a tree with Ponyboy and listen to the youngest Curtis read a book. He’ll do horse tack I think, but he’d rather watch them. Like Dallas, he’s a little afraid of the big animals, but won’t admit it. He likes the little dogs and the little calves and foals and stuff. Doesn’t like doing cattle runs. Will help though! Likes to help around the house and with the chores. I can totally see him sitting on the porch, watching a sunset and just letting it soak into his bones. There’s something about country sunsets, dude. Defo the lemonade maker though, defo on the lemonade.

[turtlemagnum]

answered these on bluesky, so i figured i should post the answers here too! warning, long!

q: why are you on bluesky? a: twitter started to suck even worse and most of the accounts i used twitter for started to post here too

q: any other social media? a: mostly just tumblr lol

q: still posting on twitter? a: nope! lemme tell ya, i fuckin Tried with twitter. never worked out! oh well!

q: what do you post on bluesky? a: stream of consciousness bullshit!

q: nationality? a: MERICA WOOOO YEAGH USA USA USA

q: gender/pronouns? a: nb more or less comfortable with presenting how i'm expected to (which is to say, male). there are some bits i Ignore (i like having emotions), but essentially i present as a cis man, just a cis man who doesn't really give a shit about the macho bullshit that a lot of them seem to. pronouns are he/they/it, because i don't really care how i'm referred to as long as it's not femininely, and "it" became something of a term of endearment to me

q: one word to describe yourself? a: ORC

q: something you hate about yourself? a: the person i used to be.

q: something you love about yourself? a: y'know i just spent like 5 minutes staring at this question, after spending a while trying not to come off as too self deprecating in the last one

q: what's your perfect date? a: i can only really speak in hypotheticals as i've never really been on a date, but playing video games together sounds nice

q: any hobbies? a: oh god so fucking many dude, you have no idea. writing, music, video games, anime, linguistics, history, i could go on

q: play any instruments? a: i have a guitar that i can't really play, but i've been slowly getting closer to competence over the years. i'm definitely better in a DAW than with something physical though

q: name a random fact. a: animals are real, and you can pet many of them….

q: favorite food? a: definitely a tie between burgers and fried chicken

q: favorite drink? a: this tends to drift over the years but currently it's mtn dew!

q: favorite season? a: winter! it's fucken snowy outside & im very happy about that

q: favorite sport? a: i don't really like sports but i like martial arts and i think that's technically a sport so yeah

q: chinese zodiac sign? a: monkey….!!

q: somewhere you want to visit? a: definitely japan

q: know any other languages? a: don't wanna sound like a broken record but i've been learning japanese on and off for years at this point, and i'm getting scarily close to being competent!

q: favorite song? a: i find it hard to quantify something as complex as art in terms of "favorite" as i find that deeply reductive, so i can't really give a satisfying answer to that, sorry! for the record the last time i would've been able to answer that, it would've been shine on you crazy diamond

q: song you're listening to now? a: mario 1 castle theme i guess? i just have a video running in the background and they're playing mario maker

q: saddest song? a: probably variations on a cloud? i dunno, lot of competition for that

q: first game console? a: n64 babey yeah woo!!!!!!

q: favorite video game? a: see my answer about my favorite song

q: last concert you attended? a: uhhh blossom i guess? i dunno it was years ago and i didn't really like any of the music, it was all kinda mediocre

q: last book you read? a: read a bit of the five rings by miyamoto musashi

q: last movie you saw? a: gremlins babey!!!

q: cat or dog? a: i'm a top, so dogs.

q: day or night? a: i'm a creature of the night, babey!!!!!

q: what's your lucky number? a: 762

q: favorite quote? a: there's a fragmentary sappho poem where bits of what seemed to be several different lines were all that's left of the poem, forming the words "someone will remember us, i say. even in another time", and i'm gonna be real with you and say that whenever i think about it it makes me fuckin cry

feels a bit weird writing this with tears in my eye after thinking about the last one, but here goes:

q: what color is your tooth brush? a: cyan, but i just use whatever is in the multipack i buy from the dollar store

q: favorite movie? a: see my other responses about art! (it's commando)

q: coffee or tea? a: tea, oh my fucking god do i hate coffee, like holy shit dude you have no idea. when i was a kid i drank like 3 pots of coffee and then i puked and ever since then the smell of coffee makes me wanna puke. meanwhile tea is just pretty alright, but way better than coffee

q: favorite character? a: undyne from undertale, though shoutouts to sans, arcade and veronica from new vegas, and also My characters

q: what do you prefer to make? a: i'm definitely more of a writer than anything else, though i'm trying to learn music and visual art

q: who's your favorite OC? a: i don't really consider my characters OCs but my favorite character i've conceptualzed is definitely a tie between agon and aisha

q: who'd you do fanart of? a: i've made fanart of undyne and sans i guess?

q: traditional or digital? a: digital all the way babey!!!!!!!

q: weakness? a: my biggest weakness at the moment is definitely my visual art

q: strengths? a: definitely my writing. i've got a pretty good blend of naturalistic dialogue and flowery language that feels natural to Me, y'know

q: anything you make but never post? a: f:nv erotica

q: weirdest thing you've ever made? a: probably the same answer as the previous question

q: any art goals? a: i'd like to become competent at both music and visual art eventually!

q: do you do NSFW? a: i plan on it eventually but my visual art skills are NOT there yet lol

[jackals-ships]

Hey, for the sake of character devvwelopment:

Anything that your S/Is or F/Os wwvould find embarrassing to admit? Sfw or Nsft.

Things they'vve done, stuff about them in general, habits, hobbies, that time they face planted dowwvn a flight of stairs and just laid there hoping no one sawwv them-

OKAY THIS TOOK A VERY LONG SEC BC rattles my brain. you can hear my two braincells in there like lil marbles-

im reaching into the boy pile like a lil claw machine, grabbing some of them lil bastards <3

under a cut bc Ramble Hours Again

holding up solas dragon age 1st bc it came to me in a vision; for both horny and not reasons his Favorite scent in the world is jackal post workouts. pov you're just trying to towel down and ur doggy bf is trying to surreptitiously huff you. you're also like. 3-4% sure he mlemed your neck

which in a similar vein ik that a) when he was in his Pining Era he was helping with washing clothes while camping (probably in the hinterlands) (the fucking hinterlands…..) and just. yoinked one of their shirts. purely by instinct and panicked bc he can't give it back now that'll be WEIRD- and b) this behavior continued every time they had to leave him behind for a job once they got together. “...dude this is like the 10th shirt, are the nugs taking them-” Solas, who has essentially a nest now, “hm. how strange-” (also 1000% jerked it while sniffing their shirts i will Not be taking criticisms)

loki 100% practices knife tricks he can show off to jackal later bc he saw they were 👀 and he wants to fluster them except oops! every time he practices they pop into his head and he fucks it up. his ass is out here covered 24/7 in bandaids and has at Least once somehow managed to have the hilt slam into his forehead. he laid face down after that for a min

also slaps the top of him i made this mf watch mlp with me when my job was more Babysit His Ass. he kicks up a fuss and is vehemently denying liking it bc that'll be admitting defeat !! ignore the fact he's grumbling if you turn it off. he also kins Luna i will Not elaborate but i AM correct and i am at least 25% sure he has a mlp tumblr

MARAZHAI'S is hilarious 2 me bc it's only embarrassing to a drukhari; he likes kissing and holding hands. rt!jackal would often grab him by the wrist when he got the energy that he was gonna wander off which somehow morphed into hand holding. you'd THINK it's bc it makes him aware of how small and fragile their lil finger bones are but no it makes him feel Fuzzy and Weird and GROSS

aka i can allow my mon'keigh to vivisect me gleefully but i draw the line at admitting i like hand holding (you can wh)

dualscar is the one tripping down the stairs. lbr half the time it's bc dog is laying a trap- but also. but also. this doubles as a dog Will Never Admit Fact bc sometimes when he's asleep he looks so SOFT and CUTE in a drowned rat way (affectionate. begrudgingly) that they smooch his head right between the horns (dog voice his ass is only tolerable when he's asleep. or otherwise unconscious,) and i KNOW his ass has woken up at least once and i KNOW that sometimes he's faking being asleep Jus To Get Kissies. ur honor they're trying to flippy flop except it only works for two seconds bc then they're back 2 being insufferable- HFK

also he figured out they're more likely to kissy him if he's whining a little. his ass is making the smallest fake sleepiest 🥺🥺 type noises for more kissies

an finally im holding up lotor i think ive made jokes b4 about vld jackal enjoying those bodice rippers that are the sci fi type “I ended up on an alien world and gasp! sexy aliens!” ones yanno? (think like uhh. the ice barbarians is the title?? maybe) and that lotor saw them reading it once and was ??? about it while they explained. he did that affectionate exasperated eye rolling “can't believe you're reading such nonsense” Big Ol Teasing thing while they were “i like them BECAUSE they're garbage (affectionate)”

anyways his ass also reads those books. he has like a fucking LIBRARY of them it started as an idle curiousity bc “okay. well. surely there's an Actual Reason they like these,” and now he has a collection. ik this in my heart and balls just like ik in my heart and balls his favorites have Space Pirates and Space Mafia. i won't be taking criticisms there either

[candiid-caniine]

Bug, I need advice

I want to ask my master to start using it pronouns for me (not for gender reasons- I'm staunchly they/them- but BC I'm pathetic and don't deserve anything else). I want to show him that I'm nothing more than his pathetic toy.

...but I don't want to just ask him. That would be too easy- to put it into conversation like I'm a person. I don't deserve that.

So what can I do to ask him? What show should I put on to make him stop respecting me? I want to be degraded and sobbing and a desperate leaky mess for him when I ask but I can't think of anything 😭

Assume nothing is off the table. Edging covered in drool, licking the toilet, anything.

Help,,

Thank you bug. Us leaky cunts gotta stick together.

arf this is a tough one!! obviously you know your master, but just in case it hasn't come to mind, remember that for some people this may feel like misgendering or orientation play, so it's always best to gauge your partner's limits first. (this warning isn't necessarily for you, bc i trust that this is a committed relationship w good communication, but for anyone else interested in something like this!)

here's what i would do. think of the thing that makes you cry. humiliation? pain? edging? whatever it is, think about that. for me, it's easier if i'm put into subspace slowly before whatever makes me cry is starting; i'm more open and emotional that way.

ask your master to plan a scene for you. you're basically asking him to break you, possibly in a way he never has before, so please please take advantage of his care for you--make sure you'll have ample time and supplies for any aftercare you might need; this is gonna be a tough scene, a show of devotion and ownership that is going to be intense. tell him that at some point during this scene, you're going to give him a gift somehow.

what i would do if i was doing this (pls bear in mind im a dumb fuck): i'd write it down. maybe on a piece of paper. maybe on a dog tag to attach to my collar. or go fucking crazy and have a plaque made, or a custom paddle, or cross-stitch some shit...make it unique, but tangible. here are some ideas for how i would say it:

pathetic toys don't deserve pronouns (and on the back it says "it/its")

congrats! it's an it! (im trying to riff on cringey cishet 'gender reveals' but idk if its working lmaooo)

fleshlights don't have pronouns (this prob only works if ur a bottom and he's a top so disregard if needed lmao)

dildos don't have pronouns (if ur the top and he's the bottom)

certified object (TM) (and on the back it says "it/its")

sex toy (and on the back it says "it/its")

if i was a toy 👀and u were a real person 👀would u respect me 👀or nah? (check yes or nah) and if u checked nah 👀would u maybe 👉🏽👈🏽 call me it/its? 👀 haha jk,, unless....?

omg or,, one of those like fake certificates? or a deed of property?

Here on this 14th of February, 2024, by Notarized Declaration, has been bequeathed to You, the Undersigned, a certification: that [sub's name] has been deemed a Material Object, pursuant to Code 98.706 of the Consensual Dehumanization Act, and shall hereby be referred to by "it/its" pronouns throughout any Proceedings of Consensual Power Exchange (PCPA). (Initial)___ I, the Undersigned, hereby agree to this Declaration and the Conditions elaborated herein...

did yall think i was joking about being a clownpuppy

anyway. whenever you've figured that shit out, be it a plaque, a fake contract, a dog tag, whatever the fuck, hide that shit. whatever your master has planned for the evening, incorporate it.

is he gonna tie you up and put you in a suspension rig and pretend he's livestreaming you? hide that shit in his ropes.

is he gonna make you hump his shoe and bark? hide it in ur mouth and drool it out onto his thigh.

is he gonna edge you and call you names until you cry? fam, put that shit in your holes. that is the ultimate objectification (to me): be the vase you hide your v-day roses in.

so that's my advice, basically. if you don't want to ask outright like a person, then symbolize it in your play. it's still communication, which is vital for a scene that's gonna be as intense as you want it to be, but it also fits the theme of what you're trying to tell him. come up with a basic plan for the night, then place your declaration somewhere accessible either by you or him when you hit the point in the night that you want to reveal it.

i'm so excited for you. idk if i really helped, this is just *my* style of play (read: stupidtown to the max), but regardless i'd love to hear how it goes, whatever you end up deciding!

[moonsquaremars]

Why can’t I fix him?

Why is my love not enough? He had feelings for me. That is unarguable. his borderline personality disorder must have kicked in. maybe he was scared, felt unloveable. scared i would abandon him. so he self sabotaged cuz that was the safer bet for him.

but didn’t he see how understanding i was? how much i wanted to take care of him? didn’t he see the stars in my eyes, the expression of pure happiness just lying next to him?

maybe he got greedy. maybe he didn’t want to be tied down. saw how happy i made him, and figured he could do better. get more. have more sex with others. maybe i made him feel too attractive and desirable.

his hypocrisy. watching my grindr usage. sending me snarky remarks on a burner account. replying “who else” when i told him i loved him. i would have pushed every one to the side for him. i mean that. whenever i used the same tricks he used on me, it became an issue.

& he never said i love you back. started calling me codependent. he’s probably right there, but it takes two to tango.

the fact he has a history of this. dating violence. always preying on skinny young twinks with “daddy issues”. who doesn’t have daddy issues. it’s really not fair to reduce love and sexual attraction to that. it is what it is. not one person has a perfect relationship with both their parents. what is the use in trying to distort the pure love and happiness he provided me.

you told me you didn’t ask for another chance. you didn’t ask for me to give you the benefit of the doubt. harsh, true. am i a fool for giving it to you?

i won’t be a fool for letting you get away with this. the people of your past may not have held you accountable with the law. but i will. im not letting you push me around. break my phone and my heart, and walk away feeling like top dog who can do and have whatever he wants.

you had me big guy. and i had you. those seven weeks feel like a dream that i never want to wake up from. we could have built a life. i wanted so desperately to build a life with you.

you asked how i would kill you when we were joking around about that stuff. i said i wouldn’t, because i wanted to live with you. live.

that answer surprised even me. im dark, twisted. have a cruel sense of humor at times. but i don’t act on those thoughts. i can resist those impulses. i don’t want that for my life. i guess you’re not the same in that regard.

i believe everyone is a good person. turns out people aren’t as simple as that. there is part of you that is good. but that part hid away, and someone new is now in your body. i don’t know if it’s from your drug use, or bpd. i don’t know what it is.

it really doesn’t matter to me anymore, since we’ll never ever be together anymore. and that is what im mad about most. the fact you’re probably one of the most handsome men i’ve ever seen. the list goes on the ways you turned me on.

we were such a good match. but now it’s over. and you ruined all chances of there being something more. and that’s what makes me want to hate you. i wish i could hate you.

my error was thinking you wanted better for yourself. my error was assuming we had similar goals and outlooks on life. in many ways we did. and the fact you were such an asshole kinda turned me on. but you’re vicious and cruel, even to someone who loves you.

i don’t know what went wrong to make you this way. i wish i knew. i wish i could change it. i wish i could go back in time, and prevent whatever happened to make you this way.

you were my dream. and now you’re my nightmare. and i hate the idea that now i’m gonna have to spend my life with somebody else. if i survive you. and that we didn’t get enough time together.

[glame]

Privilege pt.1

A/N : i just wanted to write something about toxic!rafe. im such a whore for angst. and for Rafe angst? you name it. it is long. so im gonna publish it as parts. i hope you like it. its a bit long i know but its not done yet.

TW : ANGST. cursing, drugs.

''Mrs. Country Club! its a pleasure to having you here.'' Barry shouted as he saw you.

you were looking for Rafe for the last hour. he was supposed to be with you. at the Country Club. for your 'after dinner coctail'. and guesss what everyone, he didnt show up. so here you are at the Cut in your denim skirt and a white corse top with white Converse's and hundreds of golden accesories on you.

''is he here?'' you asked with an angry face and a tone. you were angry. he started doing this shit since beginning of this summer.

''he blacked out. what the hell are you doing to this boy?'' he laughed.

''when did he get here?''

''i dont know. like… it was 4 or 5 i think.'' Barry sipped from his beer.

''you cant be serious. its 9!''

''it is?'' it surprised him.

''where the hell is he, Barry?''

''there.'' he pointed. ''he was talking abot something fancy. you Kooks like fancy shits.''

you ignored him and headed to Rafe. he was laying on the couch. white powder around his nose. sweat. he really blacked out. you didnt say anything. as the time Barry sat down on the other couch.

''how much do you want to stop selling this shit to him?'' you suddenly asked.

he started laughing. ''what are you talking about princess?''

''you heard me. i wont repeat myself.''

''nah, girl. i wont do that.'' he was lighting a joint.

''im offering you money. what is it you wont do? you will do

everything for money.'' you looked at him.

''you give me money once then we are done. but Country Club? he gives me money every day, princess.'' he laughed. ''and you think he will be okay with this? he will come to me with more money just for this shit.''

it made you angry. clearly. ''good night Barry.'' you left his house. you left Rafe. tears all over your face.

when you got home your dad stopped you. ''you're early, moya lyubov.'' he was drinking whiskey.

''yeah. its just… i… i-i dont wanna talk about it.'' you knew, youre gonna cry if you talk. and for you Russian dad nothing can make you cry. he would kill Rafe. if only he knew.

''okay. want some popcorn and wine?'' thats your bad mood recipe. popcorn and wine.

''please.'' you crawled to the couch while he was in the kitchen.

''what are your plans for tomorrow darling?'' you could hear the corns popping.

''no plans. what about you?'' choosing what to watch.

''no plans either. what about Tennis or Golf?'' he was trying to hype you. but if you gonna go Golf that means you gonna see Rafe. and you dont wanna see him.

''Tennis sounds nice. we can make it work.'' you choose one of the stupid reality shows. and he sat down next to you.

''i love you so much. i would do anything for you. i just want you to be happy.'' he kissed your cheeks. ''youre my everything. you mean the world to me.'' he hugged you. ''my baby.''

since your mother left you you grew up with nanas and your two doberman dogs. but your dad was so good for you to feel the emptyness of not having a mother. Figure 8 was so good for you. a summer place. wealthy families, big grass fields, houses with big gardens, sea, children. since youve known yourself youre living in this heaven. and since youve known yourself your dad always telling 'i dont have anything but you. youre my world. my everything. youre the only person i love. youre my baby. i would do anything for my baby.' you havent understood. you know youre wealthy, you have bodyguards, you have nanas, cars but your dad was saying i dont have anything. as you grow up you understand what he has been saying.

you felt the phone vibrating in your pocket. you took a look what was it. it was Rafe. 'im sorry baby. i know i fucked up. ill make that up. ok? i love you so fucking much. plz answer me when you see this. i promise ill make that up' you ignored his texts. always same words. same texts. same things. nothing changes.

….

''okay baby. give me your hand.'' he was holding your hand. and leading you.

''Rafe, where are we going?'' you didnt know where you were going. but it must have been something with his 'make up'. he took you from home. after your dad and your Tennis day.

''we are here.'' he opened your eyes.

a scene. two big pillows and a bottle of wine. with cotton candies. you like this activity. he knows. every week you go to open air cinema. but this week you have some big problems like him not showing up. so you looked at him.

''its Ocean's.'' he showed you the pizza box. ''and we have four-cheese too.'' he was giving you puppy eyes.

you smiled. ''dont make me cry ever again.'' his smile dropped. ''never baby, never.'' he kissed you.

you spent all night watching Ocean's. yeah. 11, 12, 13, 8. four of them.

''i love you. i love you so fucking much. you cant even imagine. but i fuck up. youre the only one who knows me. i cant manage things sometimes. i dont want to make you sad. i would never want that. and i would never mean to do that. im trying. im trying for something. i dont know if i can do it or cant. but i really am trying.'' he burried his head to your neck.

''i know baby. but somethings makes me sad. i know youre trying. and i believe you can do it. keep trying okay? you can do anything.'' your hands in his hair. ''but dont let me down. okay? i dont want that?''

''no. no, never. trust me?'' he raised his head and looked at you.

''in Rafe i trust.'' you smiled and he started to laugh his breathes were hitting to your neck.

when the movie marathon over he started to talk. something when you two stay together and he was about to sleep. ''Sarah's driving me crazy. i cant stand her. she is so dramatic. im living with the bitch.''

''dont call your sister bitch. she is not a bitch.''

''thats why im saying 'im living with her.' she is always the favorite one. and me? im the troublemaker. everythings because of me. but its not. and Wheez. i dont understand she is 13. how can you be 13? she cant drink or i dont know. it must be hard for her.'' he breathed. ''Rose is something different. she is okay but i dont know. she cares about us actually. espically dad. dad is complicated. i dont know what he wants or what he works about. he hides it from me. but from Sarah? he even called her for help. im sick of this. Top and Kelce are okay but theyre not you. i love you. its just you. you listen to me, talk to me, you love me too. you make me feel this shit. youre the only real thing. i love you baby.''

thats how you two. thats your relationship. when you were kids he always held your hand. and at the age of 7 he kissed you. but it never happened again. until you were 16. you were always close. like super close. he never allowed to any boy to hurt you, any girl to fight with you. nothing can brake your heart. he was always there for you. but not a love thing until the age of 16. he kissed you again at the park. where he kissed you first. he broke up with his one-week-girlfriend. because of you. and you kissed him back. at the age of 17 you made it official official. going parties together, pda, gifts, dinners, night walks. youre the it couple of OBX. and how toxic you are you love each other.

''i love you too Rafe.''

[audaciiaearchive]

im figuring things out about kit after they fled canada bc like....i think they ran at 17 and then they met casper when they were 22 so SOMETHING had to happen in those 5 years to make them so notorious and i think its like

they flee the country and start couch surfing/conning from vermont alllll the way to california. which is how they start learning to disguise themself and how they get money.

fake ids, passports, etc arent an issue bc kits been making fake ids for years at this point to buy alcohol and stuff so yeehaw

at some point i think they try to con the Wrong Person but instead of yanno, killing them, they take kit under their wing, which leads into graverobbing, "archaeological digs," general art theft, etc

and kit probably kills this person within a year or two bc how else are THEY gonna become top dog. probably under the guise of a heist or handoff "gone wrong" but kit set it up to go wrong and theyre the one who shoots their mentor in the head

after that they start to form their own crew and take on the moniker of the chameleon. theyre probably 20 by the time they gain any kind of infamy but in the 2 years that pass before they meet casper theyve managed to get their reputation

[charmed-asylum]

Let’s start w this THEY BETTER PICK UP HER FUCKIN DOG . If they knew enough to be in the same path she would have been if she was to walk home one of them mother fuckers better and k mean better pick that dog up. Shit like damn . I would like to ask the how long factor so for Christmas yall like I want to kid nap a bitch. Fuckin Aaaaaa but any way ( tap pretzel stick on my pretend ass stray) it’s time to get start 1st . FROM THE PHONE CALL AND THIS ENDING IM SAYIN THIS ANDY UR FUCKIN MASK Crooked okay. Shot at this point I’m more mad at him bc shit hahaha random and Hanson both was up front they didn’t throw this gosh darn I’m just a family loving man who just don’t get how to shop . Shit boy probably lied this is probably set after he lost his family shit do we know mmmm. Anyway I’m mad I knew I knew and I’m telling u ( point to u ) I knew and still I was holding my head in my hands screaming the duck fuck u doin. Damn . But I went back and when I went back i realized he was casing out the joint . Getting toilette Netflix gift card ring light the tablet and shit ( which 75 dollars ain’t gonna last but a min) face mask etc no no no . Damn damn

then again we saw though out every interaction what it was like in this one , He seems less concerned with the items than before, instead turn to examine a pop socket, "you have to work on Christmas Eve?" Or when he talking asking all that stuff and even some weird questions family no ✔️ boyfriend ✔️ plans nope working and I have a cute ass dog ✔️ like shit and travel question stupid or the big cuddle thing ahhhh.

A message pops up over the top and you try not to read, putting your head up as you try to act like you didn't see it. It's not that you meant to decipher the words but your brain quickly skimmed that 'tomorrow night?' This should have told me this because reading it again it telling us what gonna go down . And the call he got so mad at probably them

All that and okay hahah I would say I didn’t see way they snatch her I didn’t think that and shit.

headlights gleam ahead of you. You walk along the narrow walk beside the hotel on the other side of the intersection and a pair of flashing tail lights blink ahead of you. A dark figure stands beside the white SUV but you can't make out much more than their silhouette. I wonder in away was that them watching her or was that just Andy . How long did they waited to do this shit. Also they seem not fully prepared and yeah at same time. Example way they didn’t have anything to hush her but they had gloves had a driver and block camera .

I telling you this part had me sooo fuckin piss . And the ending so sad but sadly tru no one would miss her she has no one our innocent angel

Three for One 3

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, cheating, customer service abuse, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: As a customer service associate, you’re used to work with a wide variety of characters. Your efforts to go above and beyond draw the attention of a certain set of customers who want more than what’s on the shelf.

Character: Andy Barber, Lloyd Hansen, Ransom Drysdale

Note: Let's go!

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me &lt;3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

Two days before Christmas. The store is left in tatters. Shelves strewn with sparse lefftovers and aisles hastily paced by those who left their shopping a bit too late. The frantic shoppers searching for a diamond among the sand grains of untouched product.

You work at arranging the remnants of the season’s beauty advent calendars on a table draped in a bright red cloth. There’s a large tag in a metal stand that marks them as ten percent off. On the other side of the holidays, they will drop to a full eighty percent off. You always believed giftcards were a better prize, not that you got many gifts.

That year, Luanne gave you a new journal and a specialty hot chocolate bomb in the department’s secret santa. You go Michelle and gifted her a copy of your favourite novel and some nail polishes. That is the extent of your shopping and gift exchanges. Except for your puppy, Ernie, who will get a bone and one of those special gourmet dog meals.

You finish your arrangement and step back, admiring your work. It’s close to close and so close to the end of the race that the shop isn’t as busy as usual. The only customers you do see are in a rush and horribly disappointed when that very specific thing isn’t in stock.

“Excuse me,” you’re drawn around the deep voice. A man strolls up the center aisle of the beauty section, the tails of his coat flicking behind him, “hi,” he uses your name as he approaches, “I’m so sorry to bother you again but can you point me to, erm,” he looks down at his phone, “a ring light?”

You hesitate. He seems to know you and you admit, he looks familiar. You’re at that point where the faces all blur together. Your one innate flaw is that you really don’t have a good memory for that, bt you definitely recognise his voice.

“Hello, sir,” you fall short of his name. You want to say Alan but you also don’t want to be wrong. “The ring lights are actually with the cellphone.” You gesture back at electronics, “I know it makes more sense to put them with cameras.”

“Ah, oh, thanks,” he nods but doesn’t move to find his quarry, he lowers his phone, “how’s your holiday going? Thing’s slowing down,” he looks around and you can’t help but do the same.

“Uh, yeah, yeah, most people are all done,” you shrug.

“Ha, wish I could say the same,” he sighs, “I thought we were done but the wife just sent me on a wild goose chase.”

“Hm, oh, well, I’m not very busy, did you need help finding anything else?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, my manager’s done for the day so doesn’t really matter if I leave my zone,” you say, “kinda boring around here.”

“You’re too sweet,” he smiles, his blue eyes deep and swirling, “and that sweater is adorable.”

You look down at your dark blue sweater with the white crochet peter pan collar. You wiggle your shoulders and grin back at him, thanking him. You know he bought some perfume for his wife but you’re still blanking on his name.

“Here’s my list,” he tilts his phone towards you and looks down, shifting closer to you as he shows you a text bubble.

“Oh my, right. I’m not sure we’ll have everything,” you teethe your lip as you go through the items, “but we’ll see.”

A message pops up over the top and you try not to read, putting your head up as you try to act like you didn’t see it. It’s not that you meant to decipher the words but your brain quickly skimmed that ‘tomorrow night?’ Not much but just feels a bit personal.

“Alright, we’ll go to electronics first, then work our way forward,” you suggest.

“Good idea,” he agrees.

You set off and he follows at just a step. You have to remember to slow down as often you’re so determined you find yourself leaving your customers far behind you. You bring him to the mobile accessories and point to the ring lights.

He considers them and rubs his chin. He points between two; “what’s the difference?”

“Oh, this one comes with a tripod extension and this one is a full kit with a mic,” you point from one to the other.

“What do you think is better for, uh, streaming?” He sounds unsure of that last word.

“I think that kit would have more to it, especially if whoever it’s for is just starting out. But I’m don’t know too much about these things.”

“I’ll take the kit,” he scoops it off the shelf, “the kid can never have enough.”

“Oh? You have kids?”

“One,” he sounds less than excited, “teenager now so he really can’t stand me.”

“I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to…”

“No, no, it’s not your fault,” he forces away the shadow across his features, “you know how they can be. What about you? You going to see your parents? Spending the day with someone special?”

“Um, just Ernie,” you answer, “my puppy.”

“Cute,” he remarks, “are you guys open tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow, yeah, ‘til five,” you try to remember the next thing on his list. 

He seems less concerned with the items than before, instead turn to examine a pop socket, “you have to work on Christmas Eve?”

“Yeah, closing, but I don’t mind.”

“What’s this?” He holds up a pop socket.

“It goes on your phone,” you pull out your phone and show him your daisy one, “see?” You hook your fingers around it, “it’s a grip to help you hold on.”

“Ah, makes sense,” he turns the thin package over, “kid’s always breaking his screen…”

You wait patiently as he makes up the mind to add the grip to his haul.

“What’s next?” You prompt as gently as you can.

“Oh, uh,” he looks at his phone, “video games…” he squints, “V-bucks?”

“Ah, yes, that would be a gift card,” you say, “I can show you the rack.”

He lets you lead him to the large rack of subscription cards. You point out the various currency amounts available and he rubs his brow. His forehead lines as you see the stress needling in his cheek. He’s struck with the late shopper syndrome. He’s start to feel the crush of time.

“So, just your dog?” He wonders as he picks up a $75 card.

“Yeah,” you answer softly.

“No boyfriend? Siblings?”

“Just me,” you assure him, “I don’t mind. I get to choose the dessert!”

He chuckles, “that’s a good way to look at it. Did you buy yourself something special?”

“Not really, I’ve been saving for a vacation so I put most of my overtime into that,” you explain. “You having a big dinner?”

“Last minute change, wife’s parents want to host. Had to figure out travel plans.” He looks at the giftcards again and your eyes fall to the large back curled up in his arm and the card and phone grip balanced between his fingers. He slides free a Netflix card and reads the fine print.

“Do you want a basket, sir?” You offer.

“Oh, well, sure,” he accepts as he looks down, “that’s very considerate.”

“Don’t want you to drop anything,” you smile and turn on your heel.

You go to the stack of rolling baskets beside the electronics desk. Tyler doesn’t acknowledge you as he sorts through game shells to put back on the shelf. You pull the basket behind you, rattling on its wheels as you approach the shopper by the gift cards.

“Here,” you veer it around towards him.

He bends to lower the ringlight inside and drops the smaller items into next to it; he adds the Netflix subscription along with it and holds onto the Kindle card in his hand.

“You got any of these around?” He holds up the card, “the reader?”

“Hmm, we should,” you rub your neck, “I suppose if we didn’t, you can get a tablet and download the app.”

“I guess,” he nods, “can you check?”

“Of course, sir.”

You turn away and call over your headset. Regan tells you there’s a kindle up in return they can sell. You ask them to put it aside.

“There’s one left at checkout. They’re going to have it waiting for you,” you announce proudly.

“That’s great. You like to read?” He asks.

“Oh, sure, my one vice is my book addiction,” you giggle, “how about you?”

“Well, I don’t get much of a chance with work. I’m usually burnt out from all the legal documents,” he drones grimly, “then the kid has extracurriculars or there’s a PTA meeting or the wife needs something done.”

“Sounds busy,” you say empathetically, “I hope you get some time to relax this holiday.”

“Me too,” he agrees. “I almost envy you. I’m sure your dog’s good company.”

“He’s so sweet,” you can’t help but beam at the mention of your boy.

“Big cuddler?” He asks.

“Uh, yeah,” the question is a bit unexpected, “you like dogs?”

“Never really had one. Don’t need the extra work,” he says, “but I don’t mind them.”

“That’s fair. He can be a bit needy.”

He flinches and looks down at his hand. His screen flashes and he gives an apologetic look as he raises his palm, “I’m so sorry. I need to take this.”

“Take your time, sir, I’ll wander,” you point over your shoulder with your thumb.

He mouths a thanks before he answers, “Barber.”

You back up and turn to distract yourself with the shelf of controllers and switch cases. His deep voice carries but you focus on the Sinatra carol playing overhead to drown him out. Still you can’t help but catch a few words.

“Five, yeah…no, she won’t…it’s fine…” He’s quiet for a moment before he raises his voice, “figure it out.”

His stern tone sends a chill through you. It’s a sharp contrast to his previously friendly demeanour. Well, he mentioned he’s a lawyer, you assume he has a lawyer voice, akin to your customer service one.

“Sorry,” he comes back to you, “my wife…” he takes a breath, “you don’t happen to sell wine here?”

You smile. The way he answered, it didn’t sound very affectionate but maybe he hadn’t expected his wife.

“No, sorry, sir.”

“Kidding,” he chuckles, “well, I guess I should get my butt in gear,” he flicks through his phone, “um, I assume toiletries? Face masks?”

“Oh, that’s near me,” you point back towards beauty, “there’s a special for the sheet masks.”

“Great,” he grabs the extended handle of the basket, “thanks so much for this. I’m so lost.”

“That’s fine,” you go ahead of him, “it’s the job.”

🎀

You groan as you put the last empty bin in the stack. You stand and rub your shoulders, traps sore from all the lifting and moving. The night crew will set up for the day after Christmas but in the last hour of work, you and the few others in the store scrambled to get the old displays torn down.

Luanne walks with you to the employee break room. She’s in more of a hurry as she has her three children waiting for her at their grandparents. She goes ahead of you and punches out as you wait and stretch out your arms.

“Have a good Christmas,” she says breathily as she opens her locker and pulls out her purse and jacket, folding the latter over her arm, “I’ll see you after. You’re opening, right?”

“Sure thing,” you say as you punch in your employee number. “Merry Christmas.”

“Give Ernie some pets for me,” she trills as she goes to the door. “Thanks again. You saved my ass today.”

“No problem, “ you shake your head, “Christmas Eve brings out the best.”

“Does it ever. Bye, sweetie,” she waves over her shoulder as he sweeps through the door.

You go to your locket and take out your fluffy pink sherpa coat and purse. You loop your scarf around your neck and slip your earmuffs around your head. You sit to pull on your boots and stand with an ache in your calves. You feel the fatigue finally setting in. It’s not over yet; one day off and you’re right back to the furor.

You yawn as you leave the breakroom and drag your feet across the store. You take out your phone as you pop your earbuds in and choose your holiday mix. You wave goodbye to a few other stragglers and go out the front door, Spencer locking it behind you.

It’s bitterly cold out. You’re surprised by the fresh fall of snow swirling in the air. It gives an extra sparkle to the time of year.

You scroll through your phone. The buses are on holiday hours already. The next one is in an hour. Great. You can just walk, at least until you get to the next stop. More buses stop there and you can get at least ten minutes within your building.

You trod along, kicking through the powder of snow as headlights gleam ahead of you. You walk along the narrow walk beside the hotel on the other side of the intersection and a pair of flashing tail lights blink ahead of you. A dark figure stands beside the white SUV but you can’t make out much more than their silhouette.

You keep going, peeking up curiously as you near. The boot of the car pops up and the stranded driver searches. As you pass, you trip over an unseen shape, the metal clank painfully against your toe. You look down at the small foot jack.

“Oh, shoot, sorry,” the man stands straight and turns to you, “I didn’t see you coming. I was just grabbing the iron–”

“That’s okay,” you pick out your earbuds, “I wasn’t looking.”

“Wait,” he stops short and points a gloved finger in your direction, “it’s you. You work at the store just down the way, right?”

You know the man. He’s the one who was in the store just yesterday. There’s a flutter in your chest at the coincidence of your encounter. It happens, especially in the shopping district. Half the city at least passes through her during the holidays.

“Yeah, uh, that’s me. You finish your shopping?”

“Just about,” he tuts and shakes his head, “blew a tire. So, happy holidays to me.”

“I’m so sorry,” you look down at the snowy walk.

“Mhmm,” he grumbles, “all this snow, I can’t get the jack to work either.”

“Dang, unfortunately, I’m not help. I don’t know much about cars.”

“That’s fine, I called roadside assistance but they’re taking their damn time,” he checks his watch.

“Oh…” you utter.

“Don’t let me rain on your holiday, honey,” he says, “your toe okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine,” you look down.

“Wait, are you walking home?” He asks.

You nod.

“Wish I could offer you a ride. This weather’s only getting worse,” he bemoans. He slips his hand into his jacket and pulls out his phone, “they should be here shortly so if–”

A set of headlights pull onto the apron and roll towards you. You look over as the man beside you does the same. You stand, somewhat dumbfounded at the unexpected run-in. 

“That’s them,” he declares, “hey, guys.”

He waves as the white van pulls up. You were expecting a tow truck. Oh, well. Not your problem.

“Great, I guess I should get going,” you excuse yourself, “have a happy holi–”

As you step back, your heel catches on something. You don’t realise until your plummeting onto your ass that the man stuck his leg out behind you. You hit the ground with an oomph, barely missing the metal jack half-buried in the snow.

You hear the van door sliding open and a clatter of heavy treads. You can barely catch your breath as the world moves fast around you. The man bends over you as another rushes over, grabbing you off the ground as the two vehicles block out the street from view.

“Be nice,” the first man warns as your arms are seized. “Don’t hurt her.”

You suck in a deep breath. What is happening? You go to let out the shriek as you’re struck by the situation. This can’t be real but you’re being half-carried towards an open vehicle. A hand comes up and stifles your scream, smothering you as you’re yanked harshly forward.

“Careful,” the man girds again.

“Shut the fuck up,” the other grits and pulls you away from the other, spinning you around as he hooks an arm around your neck and covers your mouth, forcing you towards the van. He bends backwards, lifting your feet as you kick and squirm.

“Honey, calm down,” the friendly customer coaxes, “it’s okay.”

You don’t understand. Why are they doing this? Why you?

The man’s hand slips as you grab at his arms and your teeth come over the vee between thumb and index. You bite down and he yowls. Even through his leather glove, you give him a viscous pinch.

“Fuck!” He tosses you forward so your knees hit the side of the van and fall half-inside.

“Hurry the fuck up,” another voice calls from inside the van.

“Trying,” the second man snarls as you stand and let out a shrill note, only for a second before you’re caught from behind and muted again. This time the leather glove seals over your nose. “Fucking bitch.” 

You’re lifted into the van, writhing and kicking as the door slides shut from the outside. You’re pinned on the floor in the seatless rear of the vehicle. You whimper as your eyes glisten with a sudden spring of tears. 

That question rings in your head again; why you? You have no one to look for you, no one to care. It’s only you against them.