#i was too tired to recap last night in detail | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kotylynnemerrill · 6 months ago

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Okay...so ch. 2...since I kept picturing different scenes - I'm gonna go ahead and write them out - it gave me the idea to do this fic out of order...like snippets from different times and situations during their lives together. I love fics like this...so this fic is not gonna be in any kind of order...deal with it 😘

Also I really appreciate all of you who like, reblog or comment on this. Means more than you know.

PSA this ch a lil sad y'all. But don't worry...my fics will always have a happy ending.

Also no one said I was good at writing action sequences so...if it sucks y'all have officially been warned.

God I really hope you guys are liking this...

Your Words I Hold Forever Ch. 2

December 19th, 1968 7:20pm

Fez sighed heavily as he peered down at his hands... probably permanently dirty and blistered now. He assessed his handy work thus far, and frowned. The hole wasn't deep enough - no yet. But, it was getting late, and the camp was fairly quiet except for the hushed voices coming from his platoon mates.

He needed a break.

Five minutes. He would get a quick drink of water and sit for just five minutes...then he would get back to it. And hopefully Ethan would show up soon.

Ethan was supposed to be holed up with him for the night (helping dig the fox hole too he thought annoyed) but he hadn't shown up yet.

Where the hell was he?

Fez let out a sigh, figuring he'd show up eventually, and set the short-handel shovel against the wall of the hole next to his rifle with a 'thunk'. He grabbed his canteen and took a long drink, recapped it, and situated himself on the ground. The unusually cool clay felt nice against his back as leaned against it, like an ice pack on his skin.

He set the canteen next to his outstretched legs and his fingers instinctually grabbed at the side of his thigh where there was a large pocket...felt the small notebook there and closed his eyes.

He would finish the letter later...in the morning perhaps, if time allowed. He would let her know he was thinking of her...always. He would let her know he was okay and that things had been calm, peaceful almost.

Nothing like what happened two months ago with Nate, Mackay...and the Vietnamese girl. And certainly nothing like what happened to Nickle...and the attack on that village south of Hol An.

He just wanted to be home, home with his family...home with Lexi.

Fez wondered how Lexi was getting along now...so close to the due date. She had mentioned being tired and sore, and complaining of swollen ankles in the last letter he had received. But she seemed happy and the baby was doing great, and growing...a lot.

It was a trip to think that in just six or seven weeks he and Lexi would be parents. He wasn't sure if he would ever get used to the idea. It still didn't feel real to him. Maybe because he wasn't there with Lexi to experience everything, all the little milestones, like most soon to be fathers.

But he had the letters Lexi would send and he considered that good as gold. He memorized the little details she would share...

Baby has fingernails. Baby's heart kinda sounds like galloping horses. Linea nigra is a vertical dark line that appears on your belly. Baby is literally able to do summersaults. Baby is 17 1/2 inches long, and 6.8 pounds, they're going to be chunky. Baby's kidneys are fully developed now. Apparently, carrying low and sideways means Baby is a boy more than likely, but that information comes from both Kitty and mom - more than likely that's not accurate.

He was thankful Suze had calmed down and was trying to be supportive...had even begun to back off the drinking and found a new jones for painting. And, according to Lexi, was currently in the midst of creating a mural for the nursery.

He hoped he would get to see it.

"Hey O'Neil!" Someone whispered from above him, bringing him out of his thoughts. "Man you got any extra -"

Fez barely had enough time to look up before a loud stream of pops assaulted his ears and he felt something wet spray against the left side of his face and chest. His heart sprung from his chest and lodged in his stomach.

He was on his feet in an instant, bounding up off the ground just in time as the kid...Hardy...he thought that had been his name...fell into the hole. Almost on top of him.

The kids left eye was completely blown out and there was a second hole just below that, nothing but a crater of mangled red meat, bone and teeth.

Fez grabbed his rifle and leapt out of the fox hole, just as a grenade set off on the other side of the camp...then another...closer this time. Once he reached the top of the hole he whirled the m16 quickly into the shooting position and clicked the safety off.

Chaos broke out.

There was nothing but noise and shouting around him now. He could see what looked like thousands of fireflies wizzing by in quick single line successions. First from the south side of the camp, then another a mere two hundred yards to his left.

Fuck! Where was he supposed to aim?

With the approaching dark, and now the smoke from the grenades and m16 rounds shrouding the edge of the surrounding forest in a thick fog, he couldn't make out shit.

He could see only a handful of his platoon mates, rushing to get to the safety of their fox holes. He saw more trying to hide behind and underneath the few M-113 APC vehicles parked at the camp.

Something whizzed past his head causing him to duck down in a kneeling position.

"Fez! Get down!" He looked over to see three of his platoon mates in a fox hole about sixty feet from him. One of them was frantically pointing to his right towards the west side of the camp. "VC to the west! Shoot damnit - shoot -" another explosion ripped through the ground just as Fez turned his head to look where the guy had been pointing.

The sound was deafening and there was a shrill ringing in Fez's ears. The smell of sulfur nearly choked him. When he looked back, the fox hole was now a large crater and enveloped in swirls of smoke.

Fez's turned to head back to his own fox hole, towards safety, when something hit him in the chest...then in the stomach. Another hard thud to his left shoulder sent him spinning and he fell backwards into the fox hole, landing on his side.

He let out a loud gasp and pain exploded within his chest as his body slumped, rolling him onto his stomach, and he tried to catch his breath. He tried to free the arm pinned beneath him, but he couldn't move.

He took another breath in...more pain, this time followed by a distinct squelching rattle as he exhaled.

Oh fuck...

He could still hear the chaos unfolding above him but with dred he noticed the noise was less distinguishable now.

Fuck! Not like this...

Fez had once told Lexi he believed in God...not now...not in this place, but if he was about to meet 'him' he prayed the big guy would take him soon. He prayed he would keep Lexi safe and give her strength.

He didn't want to leave her like this...but...

A rage suddenly boiled inside of Fez. Fuck the big guy...why did it have to end like this...His eyes stung as the tears began to form.

He could feel warmth and wetness spread beneath him. He was bleeding out. A tear slipped out of the corner of his eye, leaving a wavy streak down the strong bridge of his nose.

He thought back to how pissed Lexi had been when he had finally got the courage to tell her he was being shipped out to Nam. All the things he had said...promises he had made. What fucking good were they now...

He always figured he would get fucked over considering his line of work back in Cali. He hadn't been lying when he said everybody eventually had to pay for all the wrong they did...but not her.

He didn't figure she would be punished as well.

Or maybe Lexi and the baby were his punishment. Giving him hope of having something he desperately wanted...then taking it away.

But they didn't need to suffer along with him.

Fez felt heavy now, like his body was weighed down and fused with the dark red earth beneath him. He felt sleepy almost...maybe that wasn't quite the right word. But he couldn't keep his eyes open. He blinked rapidly but it didn't help.

The gunfire, explosions...the shouting sounded even more distant now, like how he would hear it when he had been a newbie stationed in Tien-sha...it sounded miles away. He could still feel the ground shake though, followed by a shower of dirt.

He just needed to close his eyes...

The night he and Lexi met flashed in his mind. The classy outfit, red lips and the most beautiful doe eyes.

He had felt grimmy wanting her, such an obviously good girl...she would never feel the same Fez had told himself but like with most things in his life he felt sure about, he had been wrong...so wonderfully wrong.

The ground shook again, a spray of dirt from the opposite side this time hit him, covering his face.

It was a warm evening, in his grandmother's living room, the music playing softly. Giving her a twirl as they danced.

Their first night together...tears and nervous touches...soft skin beneath his fingertips. Cinnamon colored hair splayed across his pillow...the soft delicious sounds she had made.

Fez slowly flexes his fingers again, moving them until he feels the notebook in his side leg pocket. He shudders...

It was still there. Tucked in between the pages was a photo of Lexi she had sent with her last letter. A grainy photo but beautiful. She was wearing a loose fitting dress and looking down at her lap, a soft smile gracing her lips. She was looking at her hands placed protectively over the growing swell there. Visible proof of the life growing within her...the life he had helped create.

Fez began praying out loud. He wasn't for sure if he was hearing the words he was speaking, but someone was going to fucking hear.

"Oh Lord thou art in heaven...bless them and keep them safe...keep them safe within the folds of your gracious arms...forgive me...forgive me..."

A sob slipped from his quivering lips.

" Oh Lord please forgive me...Lexi please...forgive..."

#angus cloud #fezco #fez and lexi #fexi fanfic #whewwww #seriously hope you guys are enjoying this

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eleanore-delphinium · 1 year ago

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The Beginning of a New Life: The New Member

JLDAW AU

1 : Damirae Week 2020 : BOUND TOGETHER

2 : Damirae Week 2020 : SOULMATES

3 : Damirae Week 2020 : MARRIAGE

4 : I remember You

5: The Beginning of a New Life: The New Member ( YOU ARE HERE )

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Recap of the New Timeline After JLAW

I woke up with a gasp, the air within my room felt heavy. I sat up on my bed as I wipe sweat from my forehead.

“Great! You’re awake!” My father says annoyed. “You were making me feel things I do not appreciate, child.”

“Like what father?” I ask just as annoyed.

“Miserable.” He grunts.

“Good. Because that is what I feel with you, and I hope you feel that too.” I mutter at him and he starts cursing me for being ungrateful. I ignore him so that I can focus on my surroundings to calm myself down.

I look at my room in the Titan Tower. Everything seemed normal, nothing was out of place. My father was right. I felt miserable when I had woken up from my sleep. Why did I feel miserable? Oh yes, it was because of my dream—no that was a nightmare.

The details—what were the details? I found that I couldn’t recall my dream. A dream? What dream am I thinking about? The one from last night?

I slowly lie back down in bed; it was still night out. I was just confused from being woken up suddenly by my annoying father. Yes, I will back to sleep now.

I allow the drowsiness to come to me. Today was a very tiring day, I need to go back to sleep. My eyes flutter back to sleep.

I felt like there were people in my room talking. It was faint, but it was a full-on conversation.

“Will I remember you?” A male voice says.

“Yes…” I felt something warm against my lips. “Unknowingly…” The female voice continues with a sad tone.

“Like the word at the tip of your tongue, like a memory you couldn’t completely recall, like a kiss from a butterfly…” I muttered as she finishes what she was saying, our words completely in synced. I wondered if I was having a fever dream. It had been a really long day.

“A feeling you cannot shake.” I felt that I had to hold onto those words. Yes. I have to hold onto those words. They were important. I know they were. I felt that there was even something more that was said before it ended.

Wait, what ended? My heart felt like it was being clenched.

What was it that I was supposed to hold onto? A tear slips from my eyes.

Why do I feel so sad? It was probably nothing. Yes, it was nothing. And everything was dark.

“You and I have become soul mates. You are bound to me as I am bound to you. No matter when or where, this will be true. Even if we do not know.”

I awoke with a jolt as though I was falling.

“Raven, hurry up, we have a new member coming!” I heard Garfield yell from outside my door. I gave him a hurried reply and I prepared myself to meet the new member.

“Meet at the yard!” Garfield yells outside my room.

When I got to the yard the Batmobile was coming to view from a far. I felt a tug on my heart, I couldn’t help but frown.

“Is Dick the surprise, Kori?” I couldn’t help but ask. And she looks at me with a smile.

“Of course, not silly! Don’t you remember? Today we are going to take in a new member—I told you all about this a few days ago.” The car had stopped in front of us and the doors opened. I saw black hair and my heart skipped a beat. “The new Robin, Damian.”

A boy with black hair stood before us in his Robin uniform. And my heart couldn’t help but skip a beat. And my eyes couldn’t help but follow a certain person’s black hair.

He looked different; It felt like I had not seen him in ages. He certainly looked different. But his black hair was the same. My heartbeat quickened as he approached. Closer and closer.

The black suit with blue over his chest suited him well. Dick and Kori approached one another and gave each other a quiet squeeze with their hands and I looked away awkwardly. What was I thinking, this is bad, this crush is bad.

I evaded the couple and somehow my eyes drifted to the new member. He too had black hair, and wore the robin suit. And my breath hitched at the sight.

No. Not again. Not this again.

But I felt that he was feeling perplexed. My face must have shown too much. I felt naked under his eyes. They were the color of emeralds– of evergreen trees– of a forest so lush that the scene would always take your breath away.

I was facing the newcomer but my eyes looked elsewhere.

“You must be Damian.” I said rubbing my arm, hoping he had really not noticed what I have been trying to hide for so long.

“Yeah.” He replied, and my eyes couldn’t help but flicker at him. I felt a different kind of breathlessness when I heard his voice and it amplified when his green eyes stared back at me.

In my mind, I saw a man with black hair overlap his figure but it was so blurry, that I wasn’t sure if it matched. I couldn’t even see his face, and soon after I could barely recall the image.

But I knew for a fact that I had seen very briefly the man I’ve been dreaming about. And that his image was overlapping over Damian. Somehow it felt almost so right. But didn’t I feel a similar thing with Dick and Tim?

I blinked in confusion. The thought disappeared from my mind. And there was just him. A boy I just met that wore such a perplexed expression on his face.

Even in his confusion, it felt like it was mine too.

He must have noticed. I looked away in shame.

“Do you—do you want help?” I offered, waving a hand at his duffle bags.

“Oh—uh—sure.” He said and offered me the smaller bag. Our fingers lightly brushed one another and I felt both our confusion through the contact. There seemed to be something there. No, it’s probably in my head.

After all, it’s a Robin.

This would only make it the third time that I fell for the boy in the costume.

I really do have a type. I couldn’t help but click my tongue silently.

“I thought you said he had an attitude?” I heard Kori ask Nightwing as I turned on my heel.

“I honestly can’t believe this. He actually even offered his bag.” I heard Nightwing reply. I felt Damian’s emotions turn sour.

“Let me lead you to the tower then, and your room.” I quickly said and somehow it quelled his anger. “By the way, this is Garfield,” I said as I pointed at Garfield. “And this is Jaime, and the one talking with Nightwing is Kori, which I’m sure you already know.”

I hear him hum a response as I feel his acknowledgement to the information and I nod. My pace was a bit hurried but Damian matched it well. I just didn’t want to see them. It hurt even more when I saw Dick from the back, the pain would be laced with the faintest hint of fear. And I don’t know why, I never know why.

Dick was Kori’s boyfriend. I don’t understand why I was feeling this way.

This obsession I have over men with black hair, must have stemmed from the dreams I’ve been having recently. No, to be honest, these dreams weren’t a recent occurrence. I just so happened to be more aware now. This man whom I have been longing for—for who knows how long– would I even recognize you?

When I saw Dick Greyson for the first time in his Robin uniform, my heart was beating so loudly. I was convinced everyone could hear it. But when his mask was off, I was overwhelmed with such great disappointment. The same thing happened with Tim Drake. I was at the point of wishing for this dream man to arrive already. But I could barely see that person, even in my dreams, everything was a blur. And the moment he slipped out of my mind, I instantly forget that I even longed for him.

You. Who has been haunting my dreams. Who are you?

“Raven?” Someone called out as a hand wrapped around my wrist, I looked up and saw beautiful green eyes. And I felt like the world just stopped for a moment.

No. Not again.

I quickly evaded his green eyes as I calmed my heart down and pulled away a bit too quickly.

“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be rude.” I added when I felt his disappointment and confusion.

“Rae, are you okay, you just stopped walking.” Garfield said his hand extended to touch me.

I don’t even know what you look like—this man in my dreams.

I looked at Garfield with a downcasted gaze and sighed aloud, “Yeah, just… you know, just worried about our mission…” I shook my head and smiled trying to dispel the longing I had for a stranger.

It was unfortunate, but the longing was more of a distraction than anything.

“Anyways, we got a new member. Kori plans to have a small get-together–” I had turned to Damian but froze as I stared at his serious gaze. The feeling that told me that there was this level of familiarity had gripped me so tightly that I couldn’t think.

“Rae?” Garfield placed an arm around my shoulder, breaking me from the sheer and raw emotion that was clawing at me. Demanding to be acknowledged.

“I’m sorry, my head is aching again.” I gave a little shake of my head as I touched my temple with one hand.

Garfield looked at me worriedly and nodded, “Why don’t I take the new guy around and you go and rest.” He glanced at the bag I was holding and took it away from me. I sighed aloud and gave Damian a small smile.

“Sorry.” I politely said and Damian smiled at me in such a pure manner that I was left startled by it. I nervously looked away from him and Garfield as I mumbled a thank you to the green boy.

I quickly rushed back into my room, I felt quite overwhelmed. There were just way too many new things happening. In some cases, some reoccurring things too. I can’t keep falling for each man with black hair. Well, it seems like it’s a natural course for my heart to skip a beat the moment I see black hair.

I sighed aloud as I slumped down to the floor against my room door. The coolness was oddly comforting.

This was ridiculous. I can’t keep doing this.

But it’s not like I was doing this on purpose.

I brought my legs to my chest as I hugged them and buried my face in my legs.

‘You are such a foolish child.’ I rolled my eyes at my father’s words.

“I’m quite well aware.” I mumbled, but I am sure my father didn’t know the details of my dilemma, just my general emotions. The thought was comforting.

‘I wonder what that orange-haired friend of yours would think if she knew how your heart beats when you see her boyfriend.’ I sighed aloud. Azar, I hope Kori wouldn’t ever know. I can’t even explain why I felt like this every time. I admit, I even started feeling something for the newcomer too.

Azar, make this end.

I squeezed my eyes but the image of black hair and a sunset behind the dark figure came to mind.

“Why can’t I see your face?” I whispered, feeling exhausted even though I had just woken up.

~.~.~.~.~.~

Somehow Damian and I became close. It felt rather organic. Right even. Like it was destiny.

Sometimes when I see him I would feel my hands become sweaty, my heart would beat a little too fast and I couldn’t breathe. But this wasn’t new to me. I had felt this way for his older brothers too. It was unfair for him if he caught on to how I was reacting around him when… Well, honestly, I act the same way, around each other Robin that came my way.

I had to control whatever this is– because clearly this wasn’t love or a mere crush. It just seemed like a toxic obsession. And I didn’t want Damian to be the third victim of this yearning that has been consuming me whole.

It’s just so unfair. I just wish I could see the face of the man that has got me feeling like this, then maybe I can find him and not look for some replacement. Because at this point, it just feels like I am looking for his next potential replacement.

And I already feel so bad when I look at Damian and think: maybe it’s him.

This needs to stop. I need to let him go. This stranger that I knew I loved with everything I had to offer. It’s kinda funny–sad really– how certain I am that I love him when I have never even dated someone and love someone that way. At least in this life, all those were foreign to me.

I suspect that maybe that black haired man in my dreams was someone from a past life.

He must have really left an impression on me. Or rather my soul. For me to continue looking for him the way that I was. Too long for him and his presence.

But I need to let him go. I need to tell someone. And I know just who to let this all out.

Damian.

He wouldn’t judge me.

And so I did. I told him how I had liked his brothers but not how he himself was making me feel– the same thing as they had. Because whatever I was feeling for Damian was likely the same as his brothers– just a fleeting emotion that stemmed from wanting to fill a void that just can’t be filled in by just anyone.

I know that the only one who could fill the void is the man in my dreams. It had to be him. But I don’t know who he is.

And this is just so exhausting.

I need space to not be driven by this longing for a stranger.

And even when I decided to put up a shield so I don’t feel others emotions Damian did not judge me. I do find it odd how easily I bonded with him, but there is this strong sense of doubt that would tell me that maybe we got close because of my desperation to fill my longing for that stranger– with gorgeous black hair.

But that doesn’t matter now. I have made my decision.

I’m letting him go, and hopefully this longing for him would vanish too.

My days went by peacefully. It felt like I was freed from shackles that I didn’t even know were there until they were gone.

I felt so light.

So relieved.

Every passing moment felt more meaningful as I wasn’t keeping an eye out to meet this man in my dreams. I admit, there were times I would find myself thinking about those dreams– that I can’t really recall. And then there would be some thoughts that linger in my head.

Like how I know he had a nice smile, but it wasn’t like I could see it in my dream because the light was just too bright or the fact that he looked like a mere shadow.

But I knew it to be a fact.

There were times however, where I felt like there was a familiar gaze on me and I was certain that for a moment, it was the person I was longing for. And when I try to look for the source I see no one out of the ordinary or more like no one was looking at me.

I admit though, there were times that my eyes would meet the vibrant green eyes of Damian. And Azar, I admit, I desperately wished that it was him.

Then I remember that I thought the same of Tim because Dick left an impression that seemed to have caused a domino effect on me. Every man after Dick with black hair just screamed at me, seeking my attention.

Because if I didn’t pay attention to them, it felt like I wouldn’t be able to breathe.

“Raven.” I looked up from writing in my journal, jumping a little on my bed as I was startled.

It was Damian and he looked rather conflicted. I was laying on my bed with my belly down as I wrote. I didn’t notice him enter my room or knock. But by the way he stayed by the door I could tell that he likely had been trying to get my attention for a while and opted to enter because he had something important to say.

I didn’t really mind. I often think about why I allow Damian to do things I normally wouldn’t want others to do. I think it’s because of his black hair. A trait I can’t seem to resist.

I sat up, closing my journal and waving it and disappeared, “Sorry, I was consumed in my writing. I like to write and let my thoughts out.”

Damian stared at me and nodded, “I understand, I keep a journal myself too.”

I was surprised by the information and a smile bloomed on my face. I casted my gaze down, trying to hide the amusement in my eyes from him. When I knew that I wasn’t giving my emotions away I looked back at him and he looked rather nervous which made me frown.

He was rubbing his arm and stayed at the same spot, his eyes avoiding me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked cautiously and his eyes flickered at me and I could clearly see the guilt. I found myself at a loss for words. It was almost like there was a voice from within me telling me that he should never feel guilty. He should never look at me like that.

“I didn’t want to.” He began and I furrowed my brows. I gestured for him to take a seat on my bed and he walked to me with guilty eyes.

He sat on the bed with his head bowed as he continued, “Dick suggested I ask for your help– and Batman– he… he ordered it.”

I pressed my lips, patiently waiting for him to clearly state his intentions.

He looked up at me and the guilt in those green eyes knocked my breath away. For a moment, I had thought that my shield was down. He made me feel that guilt with that one look. It felt so familiar too. Like I’ve seen him look at me like that before, but I know I haven’t.

This was the first time I ever saw him this vulnerable.

So why was the sense of him looking at me like that– so strongly wrong?

But I controlled myself and the emotion I was feeling. I reached out for him, my hand on top of his and stared at him earnestly with an encouraging smile on my lips.

He stared back at me for a moment and then sighed aloud, closing his eyes, “I know you had just told me that you placed your shield up,” His eyes opened and the guilt was still there, “And I understand why you did it. And I must sound like such an ass for saying this, but I need you to bring it down. I need your help. I didn’t want to have to get you involved because I know–”

I squeezed his hand and he looked down at our hands then looked up at me and I told him, “Consider it done.” I didn’t even know the details, but I trust that Damian wouldn’t ask me such a thing if it wasn’t important.

He blinked at me, “Raven, you don’t have to do this I–”

I smiled at him and he seemed to have frozen and I shook my head, “You wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t important. So, what is the mission?”

I chewed my lower lip as I tried to focus, the way Damian was looking at me was making me think of the phantom man in my dreams. Almost everything would lead back to that man.

Damian was looking at me right now as if he was wondering how he got someone so great at his side. And I was being washed by this overwhelming familiarity and longing.

He inhaled heavily as I found him looking at our hands and he fidgeted with my hand. It was the first time that he did this but I didn’t hate it. Again, it just felt familiar and right.

“I need you to use your empathic abilities like a tracker.” He started and I nodded, low-key enjoying the warmth from his rough hands. “We will have to be undercover at Gotham Academy for this mission. Something is up and I honestly can’t figure it out. They were hoping your particular skill set can help.”

I was silent and he looked up at me with worry.

“I’ve never been to a school.” I smiled weakly while raising my shoulders a little bit. I understood now why he was so guilty. I didn’t want to feel others' emotions and here he was asking me just that.

“I’m sorry…” He couldn’t help but say, squeezing my index finger and for that second I wished he had intertwined his fingers with mine.

I shook my head to remove the thought from my mind, “You wouldn’t be asking if this wasn’t important.” I stood up letting go of his hand before I acted on my impulses. “I guess we have to meet Batman or Dick to be briefed?” I smiled faintly, putting my hands behind my back, still feeling his touch.

And how much I was longing for it. I hope it wasn’t clear on my face.

He nodded then stood up, his fingers fidgeting against each other as if he had lost something. He then brushed invisible dust off his thighs, “Yeah, they have prepared your cover in case you’d say yes.”

I smiled and then adapted a teasing tone to lighten the mood up, “I bet they prepared it knowing I won’t say no.”

He shook his head with a small smile on his lips.

“I mean, how could I say no to my leader?” I added, glancing at him as I took a step toward the door and it looked like his eyes were sparkling.

“You could always say no to me, I wouldn’t be angry.” He said and I was surprised with his words, causing me to stop in my tracks.

I crossed my arms and raised a brow at him. “Oh really? A lot of the members would insist that you have some favoritism toward me– and if they hear that, they will be very convinced about this favoritism you have.”

He laughed a little at my words and the laughter felt familiar. I wondered if Dick and Tim made me feel like this when they do these kinds of little things. I pushed the thought away. It’s always just me feeling this way.

“Maybe I do.” He shrugged his broad shoulders as he walked away from me, leaving me speechless.

“Well? Aren’t we going to Batman?” Damian asked, peeking at me by the door. I looked at him with clear annoyance.

“You really should keep that to yourself. The team would not be happy.” I replied walking toward him. He looked thoughtful and then ultimately shrugged.

I was annoyed. The small interaction I had with him right now, made me long for that man in my dreams. And this longing was even deeper than normal. And that is saying a lot as I knew that the longing was pretty heavy as it already is.

And yet also, I couldn't help but wonder if his words were serious. And if that statement was real, was I really his favorite or maybe it was someone else and he was just teasing me.

But if it was really me, then why me?

The thought of him favoring me made my heart flutter.

Did I even deserve it?

‘No. You locked up your own father.’ Trigon suddenly said and I rolled my eyes.

~.~.~.~.~.~

Did you guys like it? Did it frustrate you? Well, I just hope you guys enjoyed it.

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itdisneymatter · 7 months ago

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Day 01 - Islands Of Adventure

The short

Islands of Adventure today. First full day and it couldnt have been a more perfect first day of our holiday. Once in the park proer, we made a bee line to Hogsmeade and did Forbidden Journey (gold standard as always) and then Hagrid’s Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure. And Magical it was, such a great ride and experience, it was fantastic. Jurassic Park next, River Adventure and the super speedy, super awesome Velocicoaster DONE. BAAACK to Hogsmeade to do Flight of the Hippogryph and Hagrid’s again (yup). Pretty much walked on to the Hulk, then Kong and finally Spiderman and the day was done. Very chill day which we didnt expect and ride times were all surprisingly reasonable.. Met up with Pauline and Kevin and went to Chilis for dinner where we were reminded very strongly about how big portion sizes were - IT. WAS. A. STRUGGLE, but very good and great to meet up with the family (not for the first time, I may add - details below). Very tired by the end but overall we all had a very very enjoyable day. Heading to Universal Studios tomorrow with Pauline, Kevin, Emily and Kelly - really looking forward to it.

The long

First off, I am tired writing this as its been a pretty long but very pleasurable day, so please excuse the mistakes, blandness and lack of edit photographs (or even photosgraphs), it’ll get better once I get acclimatized… probably. Please also forgive the fact that this may descend into an incoherent scrawl as I have my first glass of the new whisky at hand as I write this, and it may not be my last as it it very, very nice…

Of all the gin joints in all the towns…

So before I head into today, Ill just give a little recap of some of the events of last night that failed to go into the yesterdays update. Picked up the car after flying through security at the airport and decided to head to Disney Springs to pick up the Magic Bands for our upcoming Disney parks this week. Oh and as soon as we stepped out into Orlando air, the heat just hit us, not too hot - a very pleasant warmth but glad that we dressed for the occasion beforehand. And our car was huge, so spacious and easily devoured all ten of our cases and bags with room to spare. Took about an hour from the airport and by change we parked at the nearest car park to Planet Hollywood which was the place we had to pick up our bands. We were tempted so much to stay at Disney Springs for a while because it felt so familiar and exciting, but came to our senses as it was getting on in the day and headed to the hotel to check-in (and get our smoothies #nom), unpack and get base camp established. And although we were kinda shattered from all of our travels, we headed out to Walmart to get some essential supplies in. Now Walmart is frickin’ huge, its like Asda on Steroids, which then had a baby with Costco and you could easily get lost in it. And who did we bump in to? Pauline and Kevin and the girls (my sister and brother in law for those who dont know). Absolutely crazy and completely unplanned, what are the chances??? So yeah, we were stood in the middle of Walmart catching up and getting the low down on what they’d been up to. It was really nice to meet them out and about even though we had plans to do so this week. So after we said our goodbyes, we returned to the hotel and we all pretty much crashed out.

And now…

This morning I woke up at 5am. Why was this you ask? Maybe it was it my body clock adjusting? Or the heat just getting too much? Nope, it due to an alarm going off, the alarm that Ann had set on her phone to get us up for our flight the DAY BEFORE! I was able to get back for a short sleep though before we woke up proper and we were all the better for a good night sleep.

So on to Islands of Adventure today, our first of the two Universal parks we were doing back to back to kick off the week. We decided to ease ourselves into it, as we had to get our tickets and the accessibility pass organized which would take a little time at guest services. There was a buzz of excitement and familiarity as we parked up in the Jurassic Park carpark and walked down the moving walkway. And the Jurassic Park theme tune playing (which is possibly one of the most emotive movie themes ever), was the icing on the cake. We got to the gate and took our our embarrassingly huge A4 printout to get into the park (I find it pretty crazy Universal still rely on paper and pen for these things). The person scanning us in called everyone by their correct names as we entered one by one, well everyone except me. He called me Gerald. Now, I’ll take this time to recall an event from the evening before - whilst waiting on our Smoothies at the hotel, we came across a whole bunch of keyrings with names, one of which had a similar name to Gerald - Geraldo. I joked at the time about having been referred to that as a friendly moniker occasionally in the past and how it would be funny if I purchased said keyring as a joke. Well, the dude at the gate just gave me a big push in that direction and then having seen a stroller in the park not a 100 yards from that point with the family name of Geraldo, my fate i now sealed.

Guest Services. The girl assisting Ann, Lexi could not have been more helpful and pleasant. Right, I get it , I know this is their job and they get paid to do it, but I’ll tell you what I havent seen such kindness and willingness to help from random people in a long while. and it really didnt stop there. Such nice people here (be warned I fear I may say this a lot on this trip).

So on to Hogsmeade and the plan was to get a return time for Hagrid’s Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure (which I will be calling Hagrid’s from this point on), and ride another Harry Potter ride while we wait. We had been forewarned about how excellent Hagrid’s would be by Michael & SJ, so kinda hyped for it. Decided to do Forbidden Journey while waited, and I couldnt quite believe that the wait time was only 15 minutes! The queue experience was excellent and this has been an outstanding ride in the past, so to see this at 20 minutes, that cray-cray. Pauline and Kev had said the parks were a little quieter but I really didn’t expect this. Hopefully a sign of good things to come. So the five of us strolled through Hogwarts halls, wearing our custom HP t-shirts, and we laughed and reminisced about previous years, even way back to the first year when it was only Ann & I as the children were all too small to ride. Happy times at Hogwarts.

Oh yeah the custom t-shirts (see I told you this was going to be all over the place). I’ll mention this only because it’ll matter later, but one of the sets of t-shirts we did (and we did 3 sets in total), was personalised t-shirts with quotes and character references from Harry Potter, all in Gryffindor colours. Ann had Dobby, Grace had Luna, Patrick had Fawkes, Robert had Hagrid and I had the Deathly Hallows. We didnt really have the time to make them so close to the holiday in hindsight but really glad we did.

Anyway, me and my soon to be sidekick for all park rides Grace, were in one cart and the other three in another. It was just like I remembered, and Grace loved it too (though closed her eyes at the spiders). Very enjoyable first ride of the holiday, scores out of ten below.

GG 8.5

AG 7

PG 8

RG 8

GG2 8.5

Now I and the other have adjusted these scores, in anticipation for the newer rides (Im looking at you Rise of the Resistance), so they may have slipped from previous years, but this is still fairly respectable overall.

Hagrids next and again the girl at the gate, Autumn was so amazingly nice. We had an issue getting a retun time for another ride, so she gave us 5 free tickets to walk on to any other ride later in the day and when I had problems with my locker she gave me a comp locker ticket without question. They dont need to do this, but it really made it so special for us. Just utterly humbled by the whole thing.

So Hagrids, aye well to start I was on the motorbike and Grace in the side car, with the rest of the troops not far behind. And it was so utterly, gob smackingly fantastic - I was grinning from ear to ear the whole time (while holding on to the handlebars for dear life). Everyone loved it and Grace screamed 10. 10. 10. 10. no 11, can I give it an 11?…. as we came off the ride and couldnt wait for me to ask her her rating. Ive said we should also give a ride a star everyday and Hagrids got five stars, it was that good.

GG 9

AG 10

PG 8.5

RG 9

GG2 10 (just 10 grace)

Had to get a Butterbeer (so good), and we then headed off to get a return time for the next coaster - VELOCICOASTER! We decided to come back and do Flight of the Hippogryph at a later time.

Life finds a way

We managed to get a return time for Velcicoaster which everyone apart from Ann decided to do. Yes, even Patrick “I dont do Rollercoasters” Gaffney decided he would go on it. No coaxing, arm twisting nothing. It was a big thing for him as hes not good with heights at all and it was a big one, so we dont to PG for stepping up to the plate. Meanwhile Robert “I love all the coasters” Gaffney, had been waiting all day for it!

Jumped on Sadie’s favourite ride, River Adventure, while we waited to go back, and we survived unscathed (well unwet, if thats such a thing). Funny thing as we were waiting in the queue, I had to borrow Anns prescription sunglasses as I couldnt read my phone clearly. Definitely felt old, if I didnt already at that point! Scores on the doors for this one were:

GG 7

AG 6

PG 7

RG 7

GG2 7

Back to Velocicoaster at our return time and the tension was building. Ann took some time out to go fill our unlimited refillable drinks and we hesitantly shuffled to the ride entrance. Grace was getting a little nervous, and even more by the fact it was only 2 persons wide as she would be on the end. But she wanted to try at least once, and to her and everyones elses credit, they did great. But boy, was it fast. Superfast really, reaching up to 70mph at one of the loops, and although that doesnt sound like much, it felt very very much. Robert had it as a definite contender for best ride, and Patrick thoroughly enjoyed it, which was great to hear.

GG 9

AG -

PG 8.5

RR 9

GG 9

We decided to use our free tickets we got earlier to do Hagrid’s again whilst it was still within walking distance, so back to Hogsmeade we went. The day was pretty easy going so didnt fell like were had to hurry through anythng at any point which was a nice feeling, so backtracking really wasnt an issue.

Flight of The Hippogryph. It was very short, just like this paragraph so heres the scores:

GG 6.5

AG 5

PG 6.5

RG 6.5

GG 6.5

Seriously though, still a nice wee ride, but when you now need to factor in the newcomers, it starts to slip.

The Fountain of Knowledge

Whilst taking a break before doing Hagrid’s again, we decided to sit on the edge of a nice water fountain in The Lost Continent area. I took my camera out for the first time (hence the lack of photographs, but that will definitely be changing as of tomorrow), and took a few shots of Grace. All of a sudden the fountain started speaking to us! It was surreal. His name was apparenlt Finneus (yeah Finneus the Fountain) and complimented us on our tshirts and asked where we were from. And on hearing that we hailed from Scotland, he put on a poor scottish accent (as you do or at least as others do) and asked about Haggis, the weather and the MIDGES, all the while cracking jokes. It was hilarious and so surreal. It was things like this that made our day get better and better. And it really didnt stop there. So we then got into the queue at Hagrids with our free passes, only to be called back hurriedly by one of the ride ushers. We thought we had done something wrong, but they wanted to see our custom T-shirts! And they were so impressed by them, that they told us to keep our free tickets as they were going to walk us all right to the front of the ride! We just couldnt believe it. It was EVEN better then second time, so better in fact I increased my score to 9.5. As we were leaving we thanks the crew, and they then asked if we wanted to do it again. WHAT??? It was insane, so yeah back to the front of the line yet again for our third time around Hagrids. Such a crazy series of events and special shout out to Justin, Andrea and Jake for that, absolutely buzzing after it and definitely worth eeking out the time to get the thsirts designed and printed.

To wrap up the day, we got a return time for Kong and while waiting for that headed to The Hulk. The ride Grace had been desperately wanting to try since the last time when she was too short to ride. The queue time was only TEN MINUTES!!! Just me, Robert and Grace for this one and Grace, who had been a bit shaky after Velocicoaster was starting to get a little anxious for it. She gripped my handed as we headed off from the platform, and after the first look I heard her screaming. Thinking that she it was too much for her, I looked over only to see her screaming with joy and we twisted upside side down and around and around and around. She exited with the words, BEST RIDE EVER! although her heart won out as she ultimately settled on Hagrids as her most favourite ride experience of the day. I was a little apprehensive about The Hulk after riding Velocicoaster, not living up to the memory and would pale in comparison to the newer tech rides. But it did not disappoint, it was everything I remembered it was, great solid ride and one I would happily go on again and again (which coincidently is what Grace said she wanted to do). One of Robert favourite ride from last time, and he felt the same way to.

GG 9

AG -

PG -

RG 8.5

GG2 10

Penultimate ride of the day - Skull Island: Reign of Kong and although I couldnt remember much from last time, it was really great and mixed visual effects, motion effects and animatronics really well.

GG 8.5

AG 7.5

PG 7.5

RG 8

GG 8

And finally Spiderman. Showing its age a little now, but still a good ride with lots of great sequences.

GG 7.5

AG 7

PG 7

RG 7

GG 7

And with that, we were done with the Islands of Adventure for the day. Honestly so overwhelmed by it all, and cant say enough how much of an amazing day we all had. If every day turned out to be half as good as this, it will be a fantastic trip.

And for dinner we caught up with Pauline, Kevin, Emily and Kelly after a quick change and headed to Chilis. Having only had a snack as we werent really hungry throughout the day, we were ready for it! We sat down to a a plethora of home made chips/nachos, cheese, chicken tenders, wings, bites, sizzling fajitas, corn and the biggest mozzarella sticks on the planet. Of course, not accounting the portion sizes, I think it defeated most of us in the end (well apart from Kev, Patrick and Robert), so will to take that into account in future. It was a great night made even better by my mum and dad who had given us the funds to cover the meal before we left (thanks guys! :)

Were heading to Universal Studios with P&K tomorrow, so need to be up bright and early, so with that Ill sign off for now. Thanks to those of you who are still here, spk to you tomorrow!

Step count of the day: 20.5k

Star rides: Hagrid’s (5 stars)

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manonamora-if · 1 year ago

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Last one of the month!

So this one was an unexpected surprise... Essentially, woke up in the middle of the night with an insane idea, could not go back to sleep, wrote/coded for 4h (and spent 4h-ish the next day to translate), and BAM! this happened.

You can find the game here! I've shoved it into 3 ranked jam (well, two, but one of them for 2 diff languages), if you want to vote for it too...

small note: essentially half the plan was scrapped because of time constrains. I might do an extended version in the future?

Current wordcount : 9.327 (FR) + 920 3.898 (EN) new Coding update : 20% change

Oh boy, did we manage to do some things this week for this one!! I wasn't able to add much in the French version (it is still incomplete), so I focused on the translation, filling the gap for the former when needed. This meant I could clear out the first beat of the game, and part of the second one (currently working on it). I am about 1/3rd fully complete. I also worked a bit on the UI, fixing the sizing (essentially copy/pasting the template again) and adding themes.

Will it be ready for EctoComp? I have two more days to try!

After reviewing 40 IFComp entries, I am tapping out for now. There are still 3 more weeks left, so I might play but not review them. It is a bit more than half of the entries, and more than last year… So many long entries. I'm tired.

I did an AMA last Friday, and answered all your burning questions until there were no more (about 2h). It was loads of fun! Thanks again for sending questions :)

What's happening in the IF sphere:

Speaking of the IFComp: 3 more weeks to play and vote for 5 games! If you have about 2h to spare... there are a handful of 15min entries :)

The voting for the inkJam is underway (wink, wink, scroll above): there is a 5-game voting queue before you can vote for any other entries.

The entries of the EctoComps are about the be released. This is ALSO a ranked jam, so consider voting for a few. La Petite Mort category are games created under 4hs, so they are usually fairly short.

Last chance to enter the Bare-Bones Jam!

Missed a jam deadline or you have a concept you're not sure you can finish? Throw it to the @seedcomp-if.

Now, there's a lot I've been wanting to reorganise with the way I've been sharing progress/communicate and where, especially since working on revamping @crimsonroseandwhitelily.

This is pretty long, so I stuffed it all under the break.

First order of business: Monthly check-ins A shortened version of the monthly check-in will be publish on itch from next month on, on the first of each month (unless IRL gets in the way). It will recap what I did the previous month and the plan for the next one, as well as other news of what I am organising/doing aside from game-making. The longer versions going into more details and wishy-washy feelings, also including fun events to participate in and recaps. You know, the usual. Those too, will be posted on the 1st of every month. I'll also have separate posts for jam announcement.

Second: Weekly check-ins These will continue to be published every Sundays (usually mornings EST), even if Sunday is the 1st of the month (will be up before the monthly check-in). The format won't change: recap of progress on projects, other stuff to mention, maybe some events to participate in.

Third: AMA I've been doing AMAs at hella random times, and on a whim, but I'd like to do those more often, because they are fun, and with a more set date/time, so more of you can participate/not miss it (like I did last Friday). Maybe once a month type of thing, around the start or end of the month probably. I'll at least do one more before Christmas.

Fourth: Where else to get updates I've tried out a bunch of places, and while Tumblr feels the most easy/comfortable right now, I don't want to rely on one place only to share releases and big updates (who knows what will happen to Tumblr). I want peeps to be able to have options about where they can get news/updates (esp if you don't want to create an account on a specific website). I'll need to update the nav post about this (maybe have a carrd? or mailing list?), and be more consistent about updating all these places. I need to find some log-ins again... For now, Tumblr will be the most comprehensive one. And I'm not updating Twitter, btw.

Fifth: Update calendar So this year has been so far pretty different from what I hoped to do (mainly because I've participated in so/too many jams), good progress has been done in some places, none in others. That's on me, obviously, I get distracted by new ideas. I can't promise that next year will be much different and that I will stick to a rigorous calendar of updates. Time management and hobbies are like oil and water... But I want to be more careful with how I map my year and where I put effort. Working on remasters and participating in jams has shown me I can do quite a bit in short spurs. And I think I could manage to close more small WiPs if I put my eggs in order (participating in jams/comps usually stops quite a bit of that progress). I think coming to term with leaving some projects be would help a ton. Not everything needs a remaster/update.

Sixth: Itch Pages Update + Trailers? With each remasters, I've tried to be more consistent with the formatting of the itch game page, with screenshots and links to relevant pages. While this should be something to do from the start (with the OG release), with the way I've been release things, I can at least try to make it happen after release. I've struggled a bit for some entries in what to include, ngl. Text-based game seems much duller than non-IF. Also, and somewhat related, I'd like to make trailers for some of the games, mainly the longer completed ones. Also because they look neat and I've never done that before. I have no idea where to start, how to do them, or what to include, but I'm excited to learn! But realistically, this won't be something I'll start this year...

Seventh: Stop with this jam nonsense. So this is more something that's been requested by anons relentlessly in my inbox (esp CRWL's inbox, which I've been deleting every time), than me actually stopping participating in jams. First of all, lol at those request. I participate in/organise them because it's fun and it makes me want to create more not before I personally want to make you suffer by making you wait for months for an update (legit got this as a message). Should I calm down with participating in jams? Maybe. I've made 9 new games this year alone (not counting promps and templates), with varying length and completion (1 is incomplete, 2 needs fixing, at least 1 should be longer), which 50% more than last year. It's not sustainable for me to do the same next year, especially if I want to finish more of my WIPs (I can't just add more to the pile). We will see what next year brings in terms of jams... I will probably submit an entry to multiple jams. Jam FOMO is real...

Eighth: Blog(s) regorganising I've started with CRWL already (it's back up with limited posts), and it will take a bit of time to have everything back in tip top shape. Aside from purging/re-writing posts, I'll also be updating the interface (I'm thinking or re-wroking it from scratch) to make it more mobile friendly. The same will happen at some point with this blog. I want to clear out unnecessary posts/reblogs, and have a better tagging system (the more projects I have, the worse it becomes...).

And finally, I think I'm gonna need a few weeks of a proper break. IRL has been weird and I'm mentally exhausted. I don't know whether I need a break from everything or just the internet... but I might be away for a bit for sure. doomscrolling has not been helping either...

#progress #devlog #update #ibe #lpm

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misspearly1 · 3 years ago

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Gacey’s Shopping Center - Part 2

Pairing: Joel Miller x Y/N

Summary: Should I ask them how they know Joel, or just keep my mouth shut? - Quick recap from the last chapter to this story.

WC: 7k

Warnings: Angst with a happy ending. Mature themes, 18+. Heavy Conversations, (The tensions between Ellie and Joel about the fireflies.) Violence (neither Joel or Reader is hurt). Hypothermia (Suspected to be between Moderate & Severe stages).

Very mild smut in this fic - Kissing, Mentions of nudity & Light Groping between Reader and Joel.

AN: I’d like to mention that this is not how I think TLOU2 should have gone down, it’s merely a follow up to my first fic Gacey’s Shopping Centre. Also, credit to my lovely friend @joelmillersgirlfriend for helping me find a way to end this fic, thank you my darling! I love you 💜

Sunday - 2am

“Gaghh!” Joel grumbled, frustratingly. Taking a deep inward breath to calm himself, he exhales slowly and gets back to the task at hand. The task at hand being a big square block of wood clamped onto the edge of the table with a mallet held in one hand and a chisel in the other.

Working on another wood carving project in his workshop, he is chipping large portions away before he whittles away the finer details of the shape that he wants. Although, this is the third time in the last fifteen minutes that he has accidentally hit his gloved thumb with the mallet and he is beginning to lose patience - with himself.

An arctic fox is what he is going for this time and this cold winter season is what inspired him to create this piece. Having never seen an arctic fox up close, only on the discovery channel many years ago, he is optimistic of how it will turn out. How hard can it be? It’s just a regular fox but it’s fur is white. Whiter than the snow laying on the ground outside right now.

Joel can’t say for sure which season he prefers. Each is beautiful in their own unique way, however he can’t lie about it being extra tiring to get himself out of bed in the morning to do his daily patrols in the winter months. His days would certainly start off better with a cup of Joe to get him going, but of course, that is a rare luxury to come by these days.

As well as the season being the source for his inspiration for this project, Y/N plays a part too. It’s a distraction. It was nearing the end of November when he last saw her and this week will be the start of January. Exactly six weeks ago tomorrow is when he last saw her face, felt her touch and heard her voice.

The notion of it shouldn’t add weight to that pit that already sits heavy in his stomach. He doesn’t know the woman. She doesn’t know him. But why does he feel this way regardless? That is a question that he has asked himself many times but still struggles to find an answer for.

So, he will take each day as it comes, like he has been doing, and that pit in his stomach gets a little lighter with each rise and fall of the sun. Wishing more times than he can count that he could have forgotten about her the moment he left Gacey’s shopping center, Joel instead hurts himself more by thinking about Y/N each night when he is alone in bed.

This is one of those nights where he can’t shake off the image of her pretty face, therefore he peeled himself out of the warm, thick duvet covers and started on another project at 2 am in the morning. This week alone has been especially hard for him.

Every second of the day, Y/N has been stuck in his mind. More so than usual and if he is being rather honest with himself, it has been gnawing at him. He’d like to imagine that, in some weird way, she is thinking about him too and that would be the reason for his lack of ability to stop thinking about her.

Everywhere he looks, she is there. Everything he hears, he swears he hears her voice. He catches whiffs of her and he looks for the source but it is gone within a second. It’s driving him crazy and he cannot, for the life of him, cannot understand why she is persistently on his mind.

It angers him that he isn’t strong enough to battle against his own brain and he also thinks that is why he can’t focus on his woodworking either. Which would be the reason why he has just hit himself in the thumb again. This time hard enough to surely leave a bruise under the nail.

Tossing his tools and gloves onto the bench, he leans back into his chair with his two hands perched behind his neck. Shaking his head while looking out the window of his house, Joel looks down the main street of Jackson and to the main gates.

I can handle knowing that you didn’t want me, girl, It’s not knowing why you didn’t show up at Gacey’s that’s botherin’ me.

Thinking back on his last conversation with her on the rooftop of that shopping centre where his so-called friends had left him for dead, she said to him, ‘If it’s all the same to you Joel, I’m interested in where this might go.’

He can’t help feeling like something bad has happened. Not wanting to accept that she has potentially - probably - rejected him, Joel believes that something terrible has occurred, thus preventing them from seeing each other. Especially with these strong feelings and emotions that he has suffered with in the last week.

Where are you, girl? Are you out there, thinking about me? Or am I just some love sick fool?

Asking himself these questions as he looks out at the night sky above Jackson, he once again shakes his head at his own actions for pining over a woman that doesn’t want him. Standing up from his chair with a mentally exhausted groan, he walks out of the workshop and into his bedroom to see if he can manage to sleep.

If he had waited just a few seconds more, he would have caught the flare that was blasted up into that night sky that he was just looking at.

A flaring red signal from Y/N.

Saturday - 11pm

“Hola, Y/N. Just relax, ok?” Manny spoke to Y/N in a soothing manner. Holding his arms out and inching his way closer to her, he reached for the tape around her mouth and slowly pulled it off.

She didn’t say anything, didn’t confirm his question of ‘relaxing’, how could she relax? These people have barged into her home, stopped her from leaving and tied her up. However, if her eyes could talk, they would be saying a whole lot right now and Manny is picking up on that.

“Don’t try anything. We’re not here for you and you haven’t eaten all day,” grabbing the plate of food that he had brought with him, he began to feed her. Like she was a toddler, he was feeding her and It angered Y/N.

More than that, it infuriated her of the position she was put in, especially for a man that she barely knows. She has spent weeks worrying about Joel, about what these people intend to do to him, but this week alone has been amped up by tenfold.

After discovering the real reason for their venture to Wyoming, she had asked herself endlessly if she should reveal that she knows Joel. Catching on quickly that they intend to hurt him, she thanked heavens for her gut instinct to keep this information to herself but, she fucked up, massively.

Y/N began packing a bag. Just a small bag with necessary and vital items for her short travel to the walls of Jackson to find Joel. She planned to go there and warn him of these people, warn him of their intentions. Although she is pissed off that she has been dragged into this mess. She can’t turn away and ignore what they plan to do to him, not after the intimate moments they shared.

She can’t deny that she likes Joel. Albeit, that attraction might be wearing thin right now but still, the man has been on her mind for the last six weeks. However, her fuck up is damn near costing her life. During her escape, Manny had caught her.

Tossing her bag over the wood panelling beside her house, she began climbing but he had captured her and hauled her back inside. Y/N’s been locked up in the basement all day today while Abby and Manny have been trying to question her on why she was leaving.

She now fears that they suspect she knows Joel.

So the only thing left for her to do was act innocent and pretend that these people have simply scared her so much that she just wanted to leave. It's partly true, they do scare her. For a WLF group to travel all the way from Seattle to Wyoming to find one man, in these harsh conditions, they do indeed scare her.

Joel should be scared too, she thinks.

Changing her attitude towards Manny, she has to play an act to make him vulnerable. Just a second of vulnerability where his guard is down and that is when she will make her move, so she can try to make her escape again and tell Joel exactly why he should be scared of these people.

And of her when this is all over with.

Turning her head to the side when he tried to feed her another spoonful of this shit that he calls food, she mumbled softly, “I need a drink..please.” Manny was apprehensive but he complied and placed the food on the floor. He’s more compassionate compared to Abby, and Y/N knows that he will be easier to fool.

Grabbing a bottle of water, he unscrewed the cap and paused before bringing it closer to her lips. Using his eyes, he warned her again not to try anything and she nodded in return. Placing the bottle to her mouth, she craned her neck back slightly and closed her eyes while gulping back the water.

“Hey, hey, take it easy. We aren’t going to dehydrate you, there’s plenty more where that came from,” he reassured when he saw how thirsty she was, drinking the water like it would be her last. Opening her teary eyes to look at him, he took the bottle away and tried to express a warm smile, “would you like some more water?”

“N-no, M-Manny, thank y-you” stuttering fearfully, he picked up on her faux emotions just like she hoped he would. Placing a hand to her knee, he furrowed his brows and repeated his earlier statement, “We aren’t here for you, Y/N. You don’t have to be scared of us.”

Looking down to the hand that was placed on her knee, he retracted it and apologized but she used that, “It’s ok, thank you for b-being so nice t-to me. C-can.. Can I have s-some more food, please Manny?”

Another fake tear rolled down her cheek and he wiped it away. Nodding to her and turning to grab the food, she had just managed to work one of her hands out of the rope from behind her back. When he looked back, she darted her hand out, grabbing his hair from the root and slammed his face down to the arm of the chair.

Manny fell back. Thankfully a silent cry slipped past his lips while cradling his broken nose and Y/N yanked her other arm out to work on the rope tied around her ankles. Her heart pounded heavily with every second she took. Training her eyes on him, waiting for him to recover and come at her while she worked the ropes off.

“You fucking bitch,” he grumbled and pulled himself up onto his knees. With one leg free, she extended it out as hard as she could and as fast as she could, kicking him to the chest back to the ground. Sweat gathered around her fingers while she anxiously worked on the rope around the other ankle.

Manny was getting back up and she stood quickly, rope now broken free, she towered over him and brought her knee to her chest, kicking him harshly with all her might to his face. He fell. Falling backwards again and staying down this time, she had knocked him out with that last kick.

This was her moment to leave before the others came to investigate all of this scuffling, they must’ve heard it.

Running to the rolling shutters in the next room, she lifted them up quietly. Just enough for her body to slip under but she chanced one more look behind her. No one was there, only Manny on the floor. The door didn’t open, no one came to investigate.

This was good but the notion of it being ��too good to be true’ was sickening her stomach with worry. Dipping under the shutter and standing up on the other side, white fluffy snow stared back at her. With only a hoodie and a pair of jeans, she knows this escape is going to be dangerous in these conditions but it's the only chance she has got.

This is the last chance she’s got. There’s no going back after this, they would surely kill her.

Y/N sprinted. Running as quickly as her legs could carry her, she darted for the side of her house where the shorter wood panels were. They would be easier to climb as opposed to the large metal gate at the front of the house and that is where her bag is.

Just as she climbed the other side and grabbed her belongings, she could hear the group inside the house shouting and yelling for Manny. Not wasting a second longer to see what happens, she disappeared into the treeline and headed straight for Jackson.

Over the last few weeks she had heard Abby talking about scouting Jackson’s lookout checkpoints. Y/N knows one of them is nearby and she heads for that first, just to get her on the right path. She didn’t anticipate however, that there would be infected around, especially in these climates.

Only having one handgun in her bag, she is left with the bare minimum to defend herself and she seriously underestimated the number of infected that were roaming in these snowy hills around her home and she ponders whether Joel was worth the effort.

Telling herself, for her own sanity, that he is worth it, that he would do the same for her. Surely he would, Joel wanted to see more of her, just like she wanted to see more of him and after saving his life in Gracey's, and possibly saving his life again now, Joel Miller owes Y/N big time.

At the moment, the infected are all surrounding that checkpoint that she was headed for and since that is out of the question, she has to go a different direction. Having never travelled this way before, Y/N is at a loss for where she is.

Walking along a highway, surrounded by nothing but snow and overturned cars, and hopefully with no infected hiding behind any of them, that thought of Joel being worth it is hanging on by a very thin thread.

Coming up on a small housing area, she carefully wades her way through after what seems like hours of walking and mental battles in her mind. The cold was starting to pinch now that she had slowed down but after seeing the tips of a large power tower, she knew that the Community was near.

Joel is near.

She could taste his lips on hers, feel his touch on her body and as Y/N walked further, she was finally starting to realize that Joel is worth it. The moment she departed from him, her life was hell. All she needed to do was find the right path to get there and tell him how much it has sucked since they last saw each other.

Walking around this abandoned town endlessly to find the right direction, Y/N found an opening in the trees and started walking through there. When she saw a line up of those power towers, she knew that this was the right path.

Finally.

The wind started to pick up, lifting some of the snow off the ground with it and it whipped past her face. With her hood pulled up and the strings tied into a knot to keep it in place, she had her hands buried deep into her pockets to try and stay warm, but it was no use.

Y/N is freezing.

Shivering excessively with each step, Y/N knows that she probably should have stepped into one of those houses back in that little town and warmed up, but it's too risky. Abby and her group could be right behind her. So she pushes on.

No matter how tight her muscles are cramping, she pushes through and continues walking because If she stops now, she may never reach Joel. Walking along another highway that had split off in the middle by a stream of water, she turned and walked down that river instead.

Her knees buckled a couple times and she nearly fell to the ground, body and mind aching with exhaustion. Passing a gas station and stopping at a blocked off tunnel along the way, she followed her instincts and preyed that her intuition was right on walking down the embankment to the side of the road.

Y/N kept praying that she was on the right path and not wandering further away. The cold was cripping her body by now and she walked a couple more feet before dropping to her knees. Muscles finally giving up on her and locking in place, she was unable to go on any further.

This was her last resort. It’s risky but someone will be watching, someone in Jackson will see and she hopes that Joel will see. Pulling out a flare gun from her bag, she aims in towards the sky and pulls the trigger. A clear, red flaring signal up into the night sky.

It was a signal for help.

Joel tossed and turned in his bed. He tried countless times to fall asleep but failed in doing so.

It was bad enough that the images of Y/N weren’t allowing him to sleep, let alone his neighbours standing outside on their porch chatting away to each other. It's nearing 3 am in the morning and he’s had enough of their chatter.

Climbing out of bed to get dressed and to kindly ask them what was wrong, something must be wrong, it’s unlike them to be doing this, and starts heading down stairs. Opening his front door, he saw the dying embers of red smoke in the sky and there was a commotion at the gate.

Looking over to his neighbours, Betty and her husband John, he cocked his head in question and Betty came over the lawn, “We’ve heard that there was someone outside, calling for help in the snow.”

Joel looked back to the gate, narrowing his eyes to see if he could get a better picture while Betty continued talking, “Poor thing used a flare, she must have been freezing to death,” snapping his head back to her, Joel instantly thought about Y/N and he asked, “she? It’s a woman?”

“That’s what we’ve heard,” the old lady replied softly at seeing the worry splashed across Joel’s face. Without even thinking, he moved off his front porch, “s’cuse me Betty, sorry,” muttering to his neighbour while he darts down his steps, Joel breaks out into a light jog down the street.

The closer he gets the more he can see what’s actually happening. There’s a group of people at the gates, some townsfolk, some of them wall duty personnel and Ellie too. She is there with her friends and he instantly worries about why she is there.

Things haven’t been too good between him and his daughter lately, but when she sees him jogging along, she puts aside those differences for a second to assure him, holding her hand outwards and nodding, as if to say ‘I’m ok’. it's a small gesture but it means the world to Joel, even though it still hurts that she won’t talk to him.

Nodding back to her in return, eyes laced with sorrow, he tries to go to her but she turns away and talks to Dina instead. A clear indication that she still doesn’t want to talk. Not wanting to push it more than he already has with her, he calls Jessie over.

“What on earth is going on? I’ve heard it’s a woman out there,” he asks, to which the young man replies, “yeah, Tommy is out there now, she’s hypothermic.”

Pointing to Jessie’s walkie, Joel asks him for it so he can contact his brother and get an answer to that burning question in his mind. Is it Y/N? However, just as he is bringing the radio to his mouth, Tommy comes barrelling through the gates on his horse, yelling “Move! Outta the way folks.”

Joel didn’t need to ask the question, he already had his answer.

There she was. Wearing Tommy’s big puffy winter jacket, head nestled into his chest with his arms wrapped around her back. He clung to her and swung a leg over the horse before carefully slipping down. She was unconscious.

Hooking his arms under her leg and calling for Joel - who stood on the spot, shocked with fear - Tommy called for his big brother's help, “Joel, it’s Y/N, get over here.”

Handing the walkie back to Jessie, he moved through the crowd and stood before Tommy. Taking Y/N from his arms, he asked, “How bad is she,” while walking towards the infirmary, carrying her lifeless body in his arms. Joel worried how badly she was hypothermic and if she would even recover from it.

Tommy replied remorsefully, “it’s not looking good, Joel.”

Ignoring his brother's tone of voice, Joel remained hopeful that Y/N would be ok. Taking her into the infirmary and being greeted by one of the old doctors there, he laid her down onto one of the stretchers then followed as the doctor wheeled her into one of the side rooms.

Joel stood by and watched the old man open her eyes, shining a flashlight at her pupils and calling for her to respond. He watched him open up his brother's jacket, lift up her hoodie and shirt to place a stethoscope to her chest, to listen for her heartbeat.

Joel had to look away.

Turning away and facing his brother, Joel couldn’t look as the doctor delivered the news that he is deeply dreading. It was a long minute before the doc removed the medical tool and turned to look at Tommy.

“She’s there. We may need to hook her up to a dialysis but these clothes need to be off, so I need you both to step out,” looking between the two men, Tommy looked to Joel and nodded before turning to leave.

“I know her doc, I’d like to stay,” Joel turns to the doctor then looks down at Y/N.

“How well do you know her, son?” the man asks, a hidden meaning behind his words and when Joel darts his eyes to him, quizzically, he explains, “I could use your help, but only if you know she would be comfortable with it.”

Understanding what the old man was implying, Joel relaxed and nodded in confirmation before he began removing his clothes. Y/N saved his life all those weeks ago in the shopping center and it is his duty now to do the same.

It's been hours in this medical room.

Many, long depressing hours while Joel held onto Y/N. He stripped down to his underwear after the doctor stepped out and did the same with Y/N. Pulling off her clothing carefully but hastily, he climbed into the bed and pressed her naked body firmly against his own.

Wrapping the insulation blanket around them both, and then a thick duvet on top of that, he could feel the cold vibrating off of her at first but now he is sweating profusely in his sleep. The proximity of her was overwhelming. He’s missed her so much and he fell asleep while running his fingers through her hair.

Then, Joel dreamt about her.

Like he has done many nights before but this time his dream was vivid. It felt so real and he thinks that’s probably because she is right here with him. Feeling her hands on his body, whispering that she is ok and kissing him fervently, like she missed him just as much as he did, this is what Joel dreamt about.

Not wanting to end these hopes, he didn’t open his eyes to face the disappointment when he did eventually awake with the heat and the sweat. He couldn’t bring himself to look at her and see that she is still unconscious, so he kept his eyes closed to live in his fantasies.

“Joel..” her whispering voice echoes again and his lip quivers. Begging for it to be real, he opens his eyes and looks at her but she still wasn’t awake. Running his fingers through her hair again, her mouth opens with a shallow gasp, “Joel?”

Her eyes finally open, looking extremely worn out, the pupils begin to expand when she focuses on the man she has been waiting to see laying in front of her. “Why didn’t you answer me?” She murmured, blinking back the dryness and leaning into him more, “I’ve been saying your name and talking to you for the last five minutes.”

For the second time this night, Joel moved before his brain even thought about it. He moved in and planted his lips on hers, whimpering her name into the kiss, the hand he had placed on her hair dropped down to her neck and he held her tightly.

Like he would never let her go again, Joel held her tightly and pulled her into him. She ran her tongue across his lip before slipping it inside his mouth, swirling it around while he groaned.

The passion was deep. Desperate hands clawed at each other, searching for more while each of them were on the brink of tears.

Eyes widening and yanking herself back, Y/N panicked, “Joel, I have to tell yo-”

“Shh, baby,” placing his lips back onto hers, he shushed her and dropped his hand down to her hip, “It can wait, I ain’t going anywhere darlin’.”

Y/N wanted to spit it out but his kiss was everything she needed, yet she pulled away from him again and held her hands to his cheeks, “It can’t wait. I came here because there’s a group looking for you.” Joel leaned his weight onto his elbow, furrowing his brows and gesturing for her to elaborate.

“They invaded my home, Joel. For weeks I have been stuck with them and when I tried to leave, they stopped me.”

He was confused, shaking his head at her before his eyes turned dark, “did they hurt you?” Joel pulled her in close, gripping her a little too tightly as he asked again, “Y/N, did they hurt you? Is this why your wrists are red?”

“No well, I mean yes. They tied me up but they didn’t hurt me. I hurt one of them though and Joel…” her eyes glossed over as she stuttered worryingly, “Joel they were planning on killing you and they know that you’re here.”

Darting his eyes all over her face, he wondered who - out of the many people in the world that he has wronged - would be looking for him. The one group that would care enough to track him down is the one he dreads the most.

“Did they say who they were?” unnerved, his voice spoke deeply and Y/N picked up on his change of tone. Still cradling his cheek, she rubbed small reassuring circles with her thumb, “They’re WLF from Seattle but.. It has something to do with the Fireflies.”

Closing his eyes, Joel’s stomach sank.

Later that day…

“What are we sitting around here for? We should get after them while we know where they are!” One man, unknown to Y/N, spoke out. Voicing his opinion on the situation with Joel and the fireflies.

After Y/N had been checked over by the doctor earlier and he was satisfied that she was ok, he discharged her. Exhaustion was the cause for her body to be rendered unconscious, not a severe state of hypothermia. Although he did mention that it was cutting it close.

Joel took Y/N straight to his home and called Ellie over to join. There, they had a very long excruciating conversation about why Abby and her friends were looking for Joel. Using everything that Y/N had overheard and learned during the last six weeks with them, they pieced together that Joel had killed Abby’s father.

It’s where Y/N also learned a lot of new things about Joel too.

Like the fact that he has a daughter. A daughter that is immune to the Cordyceps virus, and who he withheld a lot of truth about the Fireflies from. That man that he killed, Abby’s father, was the surgeon who was to perform the surgery on Ellie’s brain. The tensions were high, that Y/N could tell and it ended with his daughter walking out.

Understandably, Ellie was still very upset with him.

However, the problem of Abby still remained at present and after filling Tommy in with the situation too, he called a little meeting in his home with only a few people. Ellie, Tommy, his wife Maria, who is also the leader of Jackson, and a few other people were present.

A lot of people that Y/N didn’t know and she felt very uncomfortable in the middle of it all.

Before she entered Tommy’s home though, Joel shared with Y/N that no one other than herself and his brother knows about his daughters immunity, or of what truly happened that day in the hospital where he took her out of there, so he asked that she keep it to herself.

It was a lot of information in such a short period of time and she was feeling the pressure in an already high pressure situation.

Sitting around a large dining table, they each shot their suggestions back and forth on what they should do. On how they will handle it. Someone said to shut down Jackson until the snow lets up and let the weather draw them out. Another suggested doing nothing, that they would head back home knowing they’ve been caught, implying that their element of surprise is gone.

All of these ideas seemed viable, until one man had barked out his suggestion of going after them and Joel agreed. Both Y/N and Ellie snapped their necks to look at Joel and she spoke first, “really? After all of what has happened, you think that is what’s best?”

“I agree. I don’t think it’s ideal that you go anywhere near them, Joel,” Y/N added to that, nodding curtly to Ellie and she mirrored her actions.

Joel didn’t look at either Ellie or Y/N, he looked at the leaders of Jackson instead, “Give me some guns, some men and I’ll take care of this. It’s my mess anyways, you all shouldn’t have to pay for that.”

Looking at Ellie when he said that statement at the end there, Y/N could still feel that tension between them both. It was saddening to see a father and daughter at war. There was a short silence around them all and Y/N broke it by placing her hand onto Joel’s under the table.

“I think you should listen to what Ellie is saying,” he turned to face her while she disclosed some more details, “Joel, I spent six weeks with these people and trust me when I say this, they will kill you on sight. They won’t hesitate.”

The face Joel wore was one that Y/N hasn’t seen since his friends left him for dead at Gracey's. He was furious. “Good,” pulling his hand away and pushing himself up to stand. Joel walked off, muttering, “Cause’ I won’t hesitate either.”

Tommy stood also and walked off to catch up with Joel, no doubt to talk some sense into him. Which was somewhat funny considering he was the younger brother. When Ellie stood, she cocked her head at Y/N to follow.

Walking outside to the back porch, Ellie leaned against the railings and Y/N stood beside her, doing the same. “Tell me more about this Abby girl,” she requested, which took Y/N by surprise but she answered nonetheless. More like she stammered.

“Um, she’s t-tall, blonde and really strong in the arms actu-”

Ellie cut her off to clarify, “No, sorry I mean… Tell me about her personality. Do you really think if she saw Joel, she would kill him?”

Turning to face her, Ellie was looking ahead, across the backyard at Joel and Tommy arguing. Her eyes were silky and Y/N could see nothing but pain behind them. She was hesitant to answer her honestly. How could she tell her without it being so painful?

“Yes,” Y/N looked ahead as well. Watching Joel flail his arms around at his brother wasn’t better to look at as opposed to his daughter crying. But still, Ellie wanted to know more, “Do you think she could live on and forget about the man that killed her dad?”

Maybe Ellie was trying to understand Abby’s thinking, Y/N doesn’t know for sure but she answers honestly again as softly as she could be, “No. I don’t think she’ll let it rest, even if she has lost the element of surprise, Abby will still come for him.”

“So you think we should go after her?” she looked over to Y/N, tears staining her cheeks and Y/N replied with a reassuring smile, “I didn’t say that. We need to find a solution, but violence begets violence, so that’s not an ideal path to take.”

Ellie hummed in agreement, wiping her face with the back of her hands, she took a deep inhale of air and relaxed her shoulders with the exhale. Joel had calmed down now too as it seems. Shaking his head while he looked down to the ground, he looked up at Y/N and Ellie after Tommy had said something to him.

Flashing him a reassuring smile too, this can’t be easy on him or his daughter. On anyone for that matter. This is a tricky situation. Putting herself in his shoes, Y/N would have done things similar to what he has done. But on the other hand, she also emphasizes how hurt Ellie feels. How betrayed she feels.

“He likes you, y’know.” Ellie chirped with a smile, pulling Y/N out of her momentary inward thinking. She smiled too and quips back in response, “He loves you, Ellie.”

There was a brief silence before her voice croaked, brokenly “I know.” Simply hearing her tremble was enough to make a tear fall from Y/N’s eyes too. It was soul piercing. When Joel saw them crying, he left Tommy and headed for them both.

Taking up the spot between them both, he too leaned against the railings and muttered an apology. Y/N squeezed his shoulder and made an excuse to leave. Joel needed this moment with his daughter, not with her.

Heading over to Tommy, she used this opportunity to officially thank him for saving her ass. “Hey,” greeting him nervously, she still felt so out of place here in Jackson and he greeted her warmly, “howdy stranger. You about ready to run away and hide under a rock yet?”

“Getting there,” she laughed then shrugged, “it’s not so bad, just something new from me that’s all.”

“What? Joel being an ass or joining a community?” Tommy joked some more, easing Y/N’s worries of feeling out of place.

Wondering how he knows that she worries about joining a community - she only shared these details with Joel - Y/N reciprocates his comedic mood and teases, “What else has Joel told you, huh?”

The man panicked. Eyes widening and stuttering while he shook his head, “Uh, n-nothing. Just that you preferred to be on your own, that’s all.”

She laughed, showing him that she was joking and then spoke again, genuinely this time “Thank you, by the way, for pulling me out of the snow.”

“No problem, it’s a good thing you had that flare Y/N, otherwise… Well, you know,” trailing off with his words, neither Tommy or Y/N wanted to entertain the idea of what might have happened differently. She only hummed in response to that.

They stood there silently for a few moments, it wasn’t awkward, just peaceful but during these moments, something came to Y/N. “The checkpoint,” she gasped, grabbing Tommy’s attention, she turned to him and repeated her words. “The goddamn checkpoint.”

“You got a checkpoint near my home, which is overrun with infected if I might add, but my point is, if Abby wants to come, she will go there first,” during her explanation of this, Tommy perked up and saw what she was suggesting.

Telling her, “c’mon” as he walks towards his house, he tells Joel and Ellie as he passes them that there might be a solid plan. Once inside, everyone huddled around the dining room table again after Tommy had laid out a map. Joel took a spot beside Y/N, placing his hand to her lower back as if to apologize to her for his actions earlier.

“This one here?” Tommy asked, pointing to a location on a map and Y/N nodded, “Yeah that’s the one. Listen, the number of infected there is..dangerously high. Too fucking high for that group to handle if they wanted to continue looking for Joel.”

“And do you think they will go the same way you did?” Ellie asked, optimistically. Y/N pondered for a second before she spoke, “yeah, I really think they will. They were talking about scouting your checkpoints and It’s likely that they’ll go there first.”

Maria spoke now, authority in her tone, “Ok, no one goes outside, not until the snow clears. I want extra people on the walls until then, and after enough time has passed, we will gather a large group and head up there. We aren’t killing anyone but if this group wants to come looking for Joel and they run into this horde along the way, then that is their problem. All agreed?”

Everyone unanimously agreed as one. This was the plan that they were going for and it was the best option to go with too. This way, none of the residents in Jackson will get hurt.

Joel won’t get hurt.

Y/N stirred in her sleep. It had to have been the most peaceful sleep she’s ever had and she smiled.

Smiling against her pillow at the touch of his wiry beard prickling against her neck, Joel chuckled, “morning, darlin’.”

She keened at his touch. Turning her head to face him and looking into those beautiful hazel eyes while she held a hand across his cheek, “G’morning, handsome.”

Leaning in to kiss her lips, he mumbled into her mouth, “I ever tell you that…” he pulled back, “I love you?” Y/N giggled to him, nodding with a smirking smile, “every day, Miller.”

Pulling him in to kiss her again, she chided him playfully, “Don’t you ever stop either.”

Chuckling some more as their bodies press together in a passionate, loving embrace, this has become the regular morning routine for both YN and Joel now for the last eight month. That day of settling on the plan to shut Jackson down, Y/N had no choice but to stay in this community.

But that was the best choice she ever made.

Maria moved Y/N into her own home. Wanting to take things slow between her and Joel at first, she needed to work herself into the new life of Jackson but two months after that, she ended up moving in with the man. Everything had fallen into where it should be after that.

A large group did get sent up to that checkpoint after the snow had settled and no trace of Abby or her friends were found. Only a broken down fence with a huge stain of dried up blood. There’s a couple speculations from people on what they think had gone down, but Joel, Ellie or Y/N didn’t necessarily care.

So long as Joel was at home, safe and sound.

Ellie and Joel’s relationship has improved since then. It’s not there fully, they’re not back to that strong loving father and daughter bond just yet, but it’s most definitely progress compared to last year. She comes around for dinner twice a week, along with fishing with Joel on Tuesdays.

Although, this winter has put a stop to that outdoor activity for now, he makes up for that with movie nights. That was the biggest step in their relationship mending back together, something that Joel and Ellie used to do regularly when they first moved into Jackson was have movie nights.

So, things were slowly falling back into place. Where they should be and Y/N finds herself thinking daily on how delighted she feels to be a part of that. She thanks whoever it is that she needs to thank for meeting Joel that fateful day at Gracey's shopping centre.

Otherwise… No, Y/N wouldn’t entertain the ideas on what might have happened differently, instead, she simply lived in the blessed moments she had with Joel Miller.

——————————————————————————

More Author Notes: Okayyyyy!

What’cha think? I didn’t want to go into great detail of what happened with Abby and her friends. Thought I’d leave that open for ya’lls minds to think about. This fic was hard to write, the subject around what actually happened to Joel in TLOU2 is still very raw and emotional.

I’d like to leave this note for you my lovelies, that so long as I wrote for Joel, he will remain alive in my fictional stories. I can’t kill him off, it’s too painful - I’m just too emotionally attached to this man 🤣...

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notnctu · 4 years ago

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when the snow falls | j.jh

jung jaehyun x reader genre - angst first, fluff later details - childhood best friends!au, ghost!au, platonic relationship, genderneutral!reader, ft. boyfriend johnny warnings - grieving/mourning, mentions of death, lots of crying, explicit language (swearing) word count - 8.3k inspiration - A Christmas Carol synopsis - Jaehyun visits you every holiday season since his death to bring you out of your self isolation and hatred for the one season you both once loved.

a/n - this is for my first collab ever: a taste of winter collab hosted by @dearyongs & @pastelsicheng ! again, thank you for letting me participate and i hope this fic brings more warmth for everyone during the winter!! happy holidays everyone & i hope you can check out the rest of the fics in the collab as i will be, they’re written by such amazing writers! :)))

An iridescent frost covers the tall windows of the apartment and a bright white sky greets you this morning. The fallen sheets expose your bare shoulders to the bitter crisp cold air and goosebumps rise to remind you to wear a fucking sweater for once. However, the cold isn’t what bothers you this horrid day as you’re leaping out of bed to glance out at the world. It’s the first thing that you lay eyes on: it covers the streets, it’s falling from the blanket of grey sky, it’s others’ joy when it’s your trauma. What Mother Nature has brought upon this winter season, as she always does this time of the year, is snow.

The first sign of snowfall marks the first day of your self isolation period until the holidays pass. It marks the anniversary of your best friend’s death and an agonizingly long winter, but in spite of that, it also means the appearance of a rather special guest. A guest that is only visible to you and though resembles much of your passed friend, does not share the same memories as you do.

“The snow is just so comforting, isn’t it?” Though you live alone, a sudden voice erupts from behind you and has you turning rather quickly to face the truth of this season. Your greatest treasure, yet haunting demise. “Hello, y/n. How has your year been?” Jaehyun stands with a lean at your door frame, his arms crossed at his chest and hair full of fluff.

“Hello, Jaehyun’s spirit. I happen to hate the snow, if you have forgotten.” Your hip presses against the cold glass and you’re no longer afraid of being half naked in front of what this form of imagination possesses itself to be.

“Remind me why again.” Jaehyun casually sits on your unmade bed, looking as about your age now. There is a brief silence as you examine how he’s grown with you, you’d imagine this is how he’d look if he was still alive and well.

It would be his third year in college, same as you, possibly studying engineering due to his past fascination with the mechanics of roller coasters. With such a strong jawline and a definite lean built, girls would be running all over him. Not to mention, his dimples remain one of his charms.

Kicking off the icy window, you walk carefully and slowly up to Jaehyun. A hand reaches to caress his cheek, but it goes right through him and leaves your hand to hang in mid-air. This happens every time you see him again, wondering if you can get one last touch of his dewy complexion, and you simply can’t. Despite his ability to touch you, there is no possibility for your senses to travel through to the other side of the supernatural dimension.

Jaehyun gently rests your hand back to your side and repeats his request, “remind me again why you hate the snow.”

“It’s how you died.” A small croak gets caught in the back of your throat and tears well up to blur your vision. “So when the snow falls, it brings me back to the dreadful memory of me losing you, of you leaving me.”

“I died from snow? That is so lame.” Jaehyun grumbles and rolls his eyes.

You chuckle, but the tears roll down your cheeks as if they know no happiness. “You died from a car accident in the snow. Your tires slid, you couldn’t brake … and so, you crashed. Full trauma to the head, an instant death.”

“Where was I going?” He wasn’t this curious last winter, and so you’re unaware if it’s your mind playing sick tricks on you or if his unrest spirit is this forgetful. You wish it was the latter.

Choking on your tears, the droplets hit the hardwood floors below you. An overwhelming feeling of melancholy overtakes your chest and you’re suffocating underneath an unknown pressure. Your throat is drier than your mother’s gingerbread cookies, but you swallow the frigid air around you.

You’re so choked up by your sobbing that it’s too difficult to speak. Any words you say feel like thin ice, ready to crack at the lightest touch. “O-On the way to … my house. You were coming over to tell me a secret.”

“And I never got to tell you.”

“No, Jaehyun. I’ll never know what you wanted to tell me that day.”

when the snow falls.

There has never been a time before Jaehyun and all that you knew, all the memories that fill your brain, every growing pain you could possibly share, was with him and all until it wasn’t. Had there been a time after Jaehyun, you would not have expected it to come as soon as it did.

For the months following his death, you were in denial of his missing presence because every. single. thing. reminded you of him. Jaehyun remained in his assigned seat in school, although it was clearly empty. He lived through others’ mourning stories, where they spoke of fond memories that they shared and things he liked. The worst of them all, you still texted him every day in hopes to see the tiny three dots pop up that he was typing. And the warped reality in your head, the first stage of grief flooding every possible corner, was that he has always just been slow at replying back.

Then, his funeral rolled around and his parents asked you to share one happy memory of him. There were so many, how could you possibly have chosen just one? And so you didn’t. The moment the frame of the church entered your view, your legs stuck to the ground and refused to enter. There was going to be a point when you entered the building filled with crying people and a gripping, horrid smell of death and you wouldn’t be able to forget it. That scary thought, not only frightened you, but angered you.

The large attendance of people walked past you as teary eyes blinked up at the dark wooden frame of the door, but every one of them had never visited him for more than once when he was alive. His older cousins that had forgotten about him when they flew away for college, his acquaintances from piano lessons who never bothered to remember his full name, his old friends from primary school that he had lost connection with after graduation, they were all here.

And you can’t help, but fester a fueling frustration in the pit of your stomach and as it grew into your chest in the matter of seconds, you wondered the single thought that picked up your feet to run home: where were they when he was alive?

After a year and the appearance of Jaehyun’s ghost became less of a shock during winter, you were stuck in an odd and uneasy place of what if’s. Talking to him once a year was never enough, texting his old number was never enough. It was just never enough.

Missing him grew into a dark sense of yearning, longing, bargaining. Long nights of twisting and tossing in your bed, many thoughts and endless possibilities ran through your unhealthy thoughts. The description and police report of his accident played like a reel in darkest contemplations.

The first year of college had to be the hardest to go through without him and thus, aiding in your regrets of not cherishing him enough when he was around. A rabbit hole of universe paths drove you wild, wishing and hoping that you could turn back time and stop him from coming over in the middle of a blizzard. And the one lasting thought still haunts you to your present: if only you hadn’t encouraged him that night, he wouldn’t have died.

The saddest part has barely been acknowledged, even by yourself. That this one tragedy tainted the one holiday you two loved the most --- Christmas. Every year since his passing, you locked yourself in your room for two weeks before the holiday and waited through it all. Truthfully, there was nothing in the universe that was going to allow you to enjoy the holiday when it wasn’t with him. Even his ghost, who very randomly popped up on a December day and cluelessly never brings much comfort as the live him did during this season.

Jolly holiday music lost their joyous sound and became awfully low tempo. The bright red and green signature colors of Christmas became dull and rather grey; the long strings of colorful lights that hang from houses and around large trees were absolutely drained of their color. The warmth of the fireplace went cold. The cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies no longer entertained and lost their spark.

The Christmas themed decorations that covered the windows of shops, the city, your own house, became an overwhelming sore sight to look at. The love from your loved ones… you couldn’t feel anything remotely close to love anymore, just meaningless affection. The one gift that the Earth blessed your region with, snow, became the one petrifying thing that it had to offer. And your favoritism for the holiday, the so-called ‘Christmas Spirit’, slowly died out, along with Jaehyun.

Now that it’s been three years since his passing, you’re here spending your third lonely holiday season inside your apartment discussing your yearly recap with your ghostly best friend.

“That ridiculous final exam lowered my grade and I walked out of that class retaining none of the information. When will I ever need to know about pirates in the 1800’s?” The chocolate wrapper crinkles in your fist as you finish your overly passionate recollection of the most useless class you could have taken this whole year.

Jaehyun sits by your side, facing you as he hugs his knees close to his chest. A small grin dots the dimple on his left cheek when you peer over at the huddled boy and the sad reminiscent glisten in your eye does not go unnoticed. “You used to love pirates. Dressed up like one for Halloween and went up to every house yelling,” Jaehyun clears his throat and perks up, ready to perform.

A balled fist in the air, paired with a look of utter gusto and passion, Jaehyun speaks in an attempt to horribly reenact your once embarrassing pirate impression. “Argh! You scoundrel, give me all the treasures in your possession… preferably chocolate sweets.” He holds his stomach as he bursts into a fit of his baritone laughter. His wide mouth grows into such a big, open smile that his eyelashes dance on his glowing cheeks.

“For a ghost, you sure look like someone who’s very much alive.” Naturally, you’d swat lightly at his knee or arm whenever he would joke around. However, the pain of your hand passing right through him breaks this habit and you’re left scoffing at the way Jaehyun is consumed with laughter.

“You know, for someone who is alive… you sure look a bit … lifeless. When was the last time you were happy, y/n?” Jaehyun finally settles down and gently nudges at your elbow.

His question hits you like a wall of bricks. Unexpected and completely straightforward, but that’s just always been the way he is. “This past weekend when I turned in my last assignment for the semester.”

“No. The last time you were genuinely happy, not relieved. You mentioned a boyfriend, right?”

Rolling your eyes, you grow a bit silent and annoyed at his comment. “Listen, hopeless romantic. Not every relationship is perfect sunrays and gushy unconditional love.” Perhaps, your gaze drops down to your hands and the wrinkled wrapper between your fingers has worn out from your fidgeting.

Johnny Suh. If you could move mountains for this man, you would. It all started due to an accidental happenstance of you abruptly walking into your campus’ coffee shop to seek shelter from the rain and him, the attractive barista behind the counter, chasing after you in a stained apron and an immensely strong aroma of coffee beans. Jaehyun practically swooned over hearing how you two met, hearts in his pupils and a dreamy grin resting fondly as he attentively listened.

Jaehyun has always wanted a relationship, though he did have many admirers in high school, he never had the opportunity to experience one true love and to play out every sappy romantic thing rom-coms taught him. Hearing about your love life is the closest thing he can get to it, unfortunate for him, but fortunate that his best friend still has some romance in them.

Nevertheless, it’s only been a few months together. Though Johnny has seen intimate parts of you, he’s never experienced a winter with you and frankly, he won’t ever experience one with you if you keep this up.

“Johnny doesn’t make you happy, then why are you with him?” Jaehyun knows Johnny makes you feel something that is hard for you to put into words. He also knows the type of person you are, pushing your buttons to get you to defend something you love. Boldly. Loudly. Strongly. He knows how to get you to spit out words of truth, even when they’re difficult.

“My partner is the literal definition of happiness, okay?” The defensiveness drives your assertiveness further. “The last time I was happy was when…” your eyes are frantically examining the floor for any source of focus as a highlight reel of this whole year flashes through your mind.

“... On my birthday, he planned me a picnic. Bought me roses, the whole grand scheme of romance. I started to cry, out of happiness… it was the first time in a while that the reason behind my tears was something good.” There’s somewhat of an epiphany when you finish your sentence. Your voice gets lost in your train of thought as the blissful scene plays out.

“Why were you crying?” Jaehyun snatches the distracting wrapper from your fingers, it being unrecognizable from the wear and tear. It causes you to meet Jaehyun’s round eyes: empty, but not sad. They’re lost, yet filled with purpose.

Jaehyun has always been able to open up the darkest parts of your heart. “Because it reminded me of the time when you and I walked up that steep hill over on Fifth Street… and we forgot the picnic blanket. But it didn’t matter because after the strenuous journey, all we wanted was to sit down and enjoy some fucking sandwiches, along with some hot chocolate your mom packed us.”

“y/n, you cried over the memory of sandwiches and exercise? That’s so---”

“Before you insult me by calling me lame,” you bring your finger to stop him mid-way and narrow your eyes, “I was so happy to be able to share our same experience with someone else. Even though you’re gone, I can still have these happy moments with other people.”

Then, Jaehyun gathers both of your hands to hold and brings them to his soft lips. Everything about him feels cold, like a harsh chill that bites at your skin. In spite of it all, his delicate kiss on your knuckles somehow feel warm and slightly comforting. Jaehyun peers up with kind eyes, “you’re almost there. I will do everything I can to get you there.”

Blinking at him with confusion, your expression asks the questions for you. When he sets your hands in his lap, a soft pat on the back of your hand reassures you. “Can we bake Christmas cookies?”

Rolling your eyes, you tear your hands away from him. He leaves you with unspoken words and an oddly comforting feeling, but it’s not enough to dissipate your deeply rooted dislike for this particular holiday. “You ask this every year.” Getting up, you walk towards your bedroom to get away from feeling too vulnerable.

Jaehyun watches your back intently as you’re stumbling over your feet. He whispers to himself, “and I think this year is going to be the last year I’ll ask for it.” And a hopeful smile appears joyously as he anticipates the storm before reaching still waters.

The sound of the doorbell awakens you and Jaehyun is nowhere to be seen. He comes and goes as he wishes, however, he’d usually accompany you during the mornings. You’re particularly sluggish, finding it difficult to adjust to the blinding white sky outside as snow continues to drift upon the city.

“Good morning, gumdrop.” Your boyfriend is rather chirpy today. Johnny engulfs your fragile body in his long arms and you’re lost in his scent of peppermint bark.

“This was unexpected.” His shirt muffles your tiny voice and Johnny is setting down bags of groceries on your kitchen countertop.

“I texted you last night that I was coming over to do some grocery shopping for you. Did you sleep early?” Your very helpful boyfriend starts unloading all the parcels of fresh produce and your favorite snacks. However, there is a slight tinge of annoyance and possibly it’s due to the fact you weren’t expecting to see anyone during your isolation. Johnny couldn’t have known though.

A deep sigh escapes your lips and you walk over to stop his movements. A hand holds his arm and the other intertwines with his own, but you stand under him with the sweetest smile you could wear during the holiday season. “How is it that your mom invited me to your family holiday party, but tells me that you’re not going to be there?”

Your smile automatically falls from your lips and a hand retracts from his warmth. It’s the sudden truth that you must face, the confession of your sadness that you’ll eventually need to tell your partner. Wondering how he’s going to take the news, your mom probably gave him a brief breakdown about how you’ve been this way for the past few years now.

Nonetheless, Johnny has always been bold with his statements and though you’ve adjusted to his abruptness, this one is hard to give a quick answer back to. So as you’re racking how to present your dark narrative, Johnny sets you down on the couch with the utmost gentleness. You don’t even feel the cushion underneath you when the million different answers streamline their way into your brain.

Johnny notices your frantic eyes and unfocused gaze, growing a bit concerned at how cold your skin feels at his touch. Taking off his sweatshirt, he carefully slips it over your shaking figure. When the softness of the polyester cotton blend brushes upon your bare arms, you’re snapped back facing a worried expression.

And you say the one thing on your mind, the only thing you can think of in your scattered brain. “Jaehyun died during this time of year, so it just makes me very emotionally unstable to… participate in any festive events. I’d rather be alone, the whole holiday season.”

Johnny nods, but his face remains with his eyebrows together and lips pressed into a tight line. He’s well aware of who Jaehyun was and means to you. Though you don’t talk much about him, your eyes light up with a bright twinkle whenever you do. It’s like the world spins ‘round and everything feels restored. Johnny knows enough about your good friend to deduct how hard it must be for you during the winters.

“Can I help you in any way?” Johnny peers over at you with a small smile, and you wish there is something in your decaying heart to keep it up forever.

“I hate to say it, but please just leave me alone for the winter.” Flopping on his lap, you’re burying your face in your hands to cower away from seeing your sunshine hurt. There are no more sugar coated kind words for you to pick and choose from.

While Johnny can understand how difficult it must be for you, he still holds onto a sliver of hope that you’ll come around. “Come on, don’t be such a Grinch. No one should be alone for Christmas.”

Groaning, you sit up and roll your eyes at the familiar references. “Listen, Cindy Lou Who. Don’t call me that.”

“It’s still a cute nickname, you don’t think?” Johnny snickers lightly, but your expression turns rather grim and serious. A faint overcast of melancholy washes over your expression as you’re staring off into your memories again.

In a faint voice, your voice is barely above a whisper, “that used to be one of Jaehyun’s favorite movies.” Your arms drop from your puffed up chest, but Johnny catches your hand and kisses your fingertips.

“What was yours?” Johnny keeps the atmosphere as light and playful while he still can.

“The Nightmare Before Christmas.” Ironically fitting and that’s one of the sole reasons you don’t watch holiday movies anymore. There have been too many parallels with your life and the wrenched holiday. As twisted as the joke may seem, you’ve lived your own nightmare before Christmas, except you never got the happy ending to it all. It’s like a nightmare that continues and you can’t escape it.

Having said, Johnny pulls you up to stand and draws you into the biggest hug. “I can’t leave you alone, even if I tried my very best. I still get butterflies every time you smile at me, so you think I wouldn’t be addicted to that feeling?”

“Johnny…” This man is in love with you until the ends of this Earth, until the horizon stretches so far that it’s unimaginable to see where it stops.

“I’ll respect your wishes as much as I can, but know that it’s not the best form of healing.” The final word causes a chill to run down your spine. It implies that you’re still hurting, although he’s not wrong, it’s rather disheartening to hear someone else speak it aloud. “I’ll come around less.”

“If I’m grumpy, then you’ll know why. And don’t try to shove the whole Christmas spirit act on me, I don’t want to hear a single thing about it! I can’t spend a Christmas without Jaehyun.” Johnny squeezes your shoulders at your bold declaration.

“You can’t or you won’t?” A painful tick at your heart leaves you speechless at his question.

For as long as you could remember, every Christmas was spent with Jaehyun. Picking out a tree for both of your families and getting lost together between the evergreens brought laughter and excitement. Baking cookies and drawing the ugliest faces in tacky colorful frosting always happened a few days before the holiday. Drinking hot chocolate by his family’s fireplace and watching Christmas movies were one of your favorite activities. Christmas Eve was always so special, where you and Jaehyun made it tradition to open your gifts from each other right when the clock struck midnight.

Then everything simply stopped. And when you tried to participate in those same activities, selfishness and guilt preoccupied your heart. What do any of those things mean without Jaehyun? Jaehyun was the reason you loved Christmas as much as you did. Then, his death became the reason you hated it as much as you do.

“I think that’s enough for today.” Johnny knows he’s hit a nerve, he can see it in your glossy eyes and subtle drop in the corners of your mouth. There is no protest from the taller man when he accepts his sweatshirt without a complaint. The bitter cold air bites at your bare shoulders again and you’re practically existing in its lack of warmth. Gathering the rest of his belongings, you two bid a kiss goodbye and shut the door.

It’s almost a relief that he’s gone and the tear runs down your cheek when your back hits the door. Suddenly, Jaehyun appears across the living room leaning on the door frame to your bedroom. “He seems like a nice guy.”

“He is.” There is a hang at the end of your sentence and Jaehyun walks toward you. A few sniffs fill the empty apartment, but you’re rubbing away any sign of sadness from your face.

“But?”

“But, he’s so optimistic about… everything. He lives by the sun and every waking day, he just lives it to the fullest. There’s nothing in the world for this man to possibly understand how sad I feel.” It’s the heaviness in your voice that has your heart sinking to the pit of your stomach.

Jaehyun’s freezing hands graze your chin and as he lets go, his stare doesn’t leave yours. “Learn from him.” Your best friend’s ghastly voice reminds you that he’s not real. He’s a ghost. He’s very much gone and not for a split second, should you be wanting to cave into his embrace or else, you’ll hit the floor hard. Nevertheless, you’re entirely vulnerable and the next few words that leave Jaehyun’s mouth causes your throat to close up.

“Keep him close. y/n, he is the sun.” It’s a moment you thought you’d never witness, your best friend complimenting your significant partner. Moreover, it hurts to think about how great of friends Jaehyun and Johnny could have been. “To be very honest, you need some heat this winter.”

“Then, what were you?” It’s the curiosity that nips at your tongue as it leaves no space for a pause. The thumping of your heart being so loud in the dead silence, but you know Jaehyun doesn’t have a heart to beat recklessly as yours.

Jaehyun smirks and chuckles fondly, despite how desperate and serious you may have sounded. “I was a pain in the ass.”

Scoffing, you break the immensely intense eye contact. “You still are. This whole haunting thing is very creepy.” Gesturing his entire being in front of you, he just looks so alive and breathing. Before Jaehyun, you always thought ghosts were floating entities with a white transparency. But your best friend stands before you, well aged and all together.

It still tosses you into shambles as to why Jaehyun exists, but you’ve given up on figuring out his purpose. He could be a form of your own imagination for all you care, perhaps you’ve grown so sad that you started to seek things.

Companionship from the one person you wish was still alive?

Like before, you’ve always spent Christmas with Jaehyun… alive or in ghost form.

It’s another one of those long days that seem to never end. The bright white sky seems unchanging, stark with a dusty and imminent endless overcast of snow. It’s blinding and you’re regretting the moment you overlooked the curtain blinds at the department store.

Your phone has already been lost somewhere underneath your bed and there isn’t a single desire to reach for it. Missed calls pile up, voicemails clutter your inbox, texts flood your messages, and your social media notifications fill your screen. Despite everyone’s effort to contact you, there is no sense of joyous cordial nature to even glance at them.

Jaehyun has been appearing more frequently and staying for longer periods of time. The conversations bring an empty comfort, most of the times you feel the need to remind yourself that you’re not actually talking to someone, are you?

“What’s that sad look in your eyes?” He startles you when you’re off looking vacantly out the window. Your mind has been completely distracted lately by meaningless thoughts and the sweetest reels of Jaehyun that have turned blue.

The more you wrap yourself in your white sheets, the less you can feel any source of warmth. And perhaps you haven’t realized that you no longer felt any heat the past few days, that you’re at a freezing point and it’s made you numb.

“Not sure what you mean.” Your voice remains dull and monotone, lifeless almost. Jaehyun takes a seat against the window and for the first time, you can see right through him.

“It’s not your fault, y/n.” Is he a mind reader too? The thought that always circles your mind when Christmas draws near is not only that Jaehyun is gone forever, but how you could have prevented it all. The guilt eats you up and no matter how hard you’re searching for acceptance, it slips away from you before you have a chance.

When you don’t answer, Jaehyun heads over to your bed and he’s alarmed at how cold your hands are. “It was never your fault.” Your best friend pulls you into a hug, but it can barely be felt. What kind of hug can’t be felt?

“I never said it was.”

“No, but you thought about it.” The chilly draft causes you to shiver and it’s hard for you to concentrate on anything else besides the night of his death.

“I should have stopped you from coming over.” Although you’ve confessed this many times to him before, it never gets easier to say. Jaehyun sighs and ultimately frowns at your tears slipping from your eyes again. Like the snow that drifts from the heavens, your tears know no end to their downfall. It’s become too natural for them to appear. The closer it gets to Christmas, the harder it is to stop from crying.

“It’s hard for me to speak about it since we don’t remember much of the same moments---”

“Jaehyun! I remember that night as clear as it was just yesterday that it happened.” There’s no reason to yell, but a strong sense of pain erupts from your chest.

He’s so calm at your sudden outburst, turning his head to face you with a deadpan expression. “You weren’t there, y/n. You were home, safe and sound as you should have been. I’m more than grateful that you’re the one alive.”

“I’m not!” But when the confession leaves your lips, you’re shaking and fearful. The entire room is stiff and silent. You couldn’t even believe what you had just said, wondering if that is anything close to truth. You look up at Jaehyun, who blinks at you with furrowed eyebrows and wide eyes. “I mean,” you clear your throat in the midst of the tense atmosphere. “I could have saved you.”

“You’re not a hero and I didn’t need saving when I was already gone.” He taps his temples lightly, “full trauma to the head. It was just my time to go.”

“The secret. I wanted to know so bad that I didn’t stop you from coming in a snowstorm!” Jaehyun pats your head in an attempt to soothe your aching heart.

“And I wanted to tell you just as bad that I didn’t care about the snowstorm. y/n, stop blaming yourself for something that happened to me. The universe is much more complex than that, give it some credit.”

“You’re even philosophical as a ghost? Give me a fucking break.” Groaning, you pull the sheets over your head to somehow run away from the conversation.

Jaehyun lies down next to you, smiling cheekily to himself and glancing over at the lump that you had become underneath the blankets. “Do you remember the time I taught you how to ride a bike?”

“I thought it was your dad who taught me.” You grumble, tossing away the sheets to glance over at him. It always puzzled you how Jaehyun never remembered the same memories as you do, and even if you did, one of you remembered it differently.

“He was probably there as supervision. I was the one who helped you take off your training wheels and strap on your impressively thick knee pads.” You’re lying on your elbows now, fists pressing into your cheeks and a fond attentive gaze upon Jaehyun’s resting figure. He’s staring up at the ceiling that protects you two above, yet can cave in at any moment.

Dimples dip into his round supple cheeks as his toothy smile comes into view, reliving the happy memory. “You rang your little bell so many times that day.”

“Because I was scared!” You protest, muttering something incoherent. “Didn’t we go downhill when I said I wasn’t ready?”

“We went downhill because you said you were ready.” His hair ruffles in your sheets when he turns to face you, and he just takes your breath away. It’s the stars in his dark eyes that sweep you off your feet, like the gleaming star on top of a tree. The color that oozes from his smile, like Christmas lights that line a rooftop, make it hard not to stare. Jaehyun looks just like Christmas, the most wonderful thing of the year. In someway, he resembled an angel or the soft sheet of snow ready to fall right through.

You’re encompassed by overwhelming effervescent emotions from listening and watching Jaehyun glow and gleam. “Then, what?”

Jaehyun’s low chuckle illuminates the room, dazzling the boring grey interior. “Little ol’ you, hurt yourself real bad that day, scrapes and wounds you thought you’d never heal from. You didn’t talk to me for a week, but you ended up learning how to ride a bike.”

“Is that right?”

Jaehyun rests on his side now, only an elbow supporting his body and he’s leaning in close to your face, you’re almost too sure you could feel a breath on your lips. “No matter how painful it gets, I’m always here to push you through it all.”

When your heart beats sporadically at his proximity, you didn’t realize that you are holding in a breath, being quite afraid that if you let it out, it would simply blow him away for the night. And you’re not ready for him to leave you again.

Christmas Eve;

It had to be a miracle that anyone got a hold of you this week when Johnny comes practically banging at your door. Though you are so close to ignoring his loud thumping, the sound of your boyfriend’s soft sniffles alarms you greatly.

“y/n, holy shit!” It’s deja vu when you’re in his arms again, a horribly warped version of it when the smell of peppermint bark tickles your nostrils disgustingly. “I thought something happened to you. You weren’t answering my calls or texts.”

“My one wish for Christmas was to be left alone and I meant it.” The attitude in your voice becomes jarringly evident and Johnny blinks back at you with a new found annoyance as well.

“Can you at least think of the other people around you?” He holds your shoulders lightly, but staring into his eyes seems to be harder to do lately. Jaehyun appears on the couch, lying flat on his stomach and a hand resting underneath his chin. This is no longer a private conversation, but you learned long ago that no one else can see him.

“Who are you talking about? My family? Because they’ve all given up on me.” This is the first time Johnny has seen you act so cold and distant, yet entirely vulnerable. You’re stripped of everything that you usually hide in --- oversized clothes, happy smiles, and a beaming warmth.

All Johnny ever wants is for you to be loved, not only by him, but by the world. And interestingly enough, he loved you for your vulnerability and your rawness. This is until he realizes, in this moment, that it stems from your trauma of losing Jaehyun.

“What about me, y/n? I’m still here.” Johnny is frantic, and by all means, hurt by your aloofness. Brushing off his hands from your body, you’re taking several steps away from him.

“And why are you still here when I kept telling you to leave me alone? Whenever I was upset, Jaehyun always gave me space! Haven’t ever thought about how that is something I need?” You’re saying nonsensical statements that are fueled by anger and annoyance.

He’s pushing your limits and for once, you’re pushing him away. But this isn’t new to you, in fact, you’ve pushed so many people away just like this and that’s why they’ve decided to just let you be.

Johnny is taken aback, “you know, I feel like I’m competing with Jaehyun and I’ve never even met him.”

You scoff and throw your arms in the air, visibly in disbelief at what your boyfriend is saying to you. May you lose your temper, you’re unsure about the future of this relationship. Yet, something in your cruel and painful heart no longer cared, snapping your wits and patience at your beloved.

“What are you saying?” You’re pacing back and forth, fuming with an inexplicable infuriation. Jaehyun catches your eye, and for a brief moment, you’re holding eye contact with him instead. “Jaehyun is dead,” facing Johnny now, you say words that jumble in your chest, regardless of their true meanings, “and even if he was alive, there would be no competition.”

“Because you were always going to choose him over everyone else in your life, is that right? Exactly like how you do now.” Johnny’s words sting like daggers at your skin, worse than the layer of frost that bites at you for the past two weeks.

“Please, don’t attack me for hurting.” With that, your voice breaks and cracks all over. Your tears hit the ground without you feeling them run down your cheeks.

Johnny is quick to wipe them away, not minding that his hands will now be wet from your salty droplets. He instantly regrets it all, the unwarranted questions, the fighting, the barging in unexpectedly. It pains him more to see you like this.

“I apologize. I’m sorry that I’m not saying the kindest words to you when you need to hear them the most.” Your partner is frowning, a true rare sight to see. “But, you’re still grieving and there is going to have to be a time that you move on.”

It’s one of those tip of the iceberg moments or when the ball finally hits the ground and a rush of cathartic enthusiasm washes over you. However, you’re not happy. You’re not even remotely close to happiness. You’re fucking sad, you’re aching with a pain so deeply rooted that it isolates you, that it rips apart anything that used to bring you joy.

And this causes you to scream your lungs out, sobs that choke you up. “I can’t! You don’t understand, no one understands! I just fucking can’t. He was my best friend and that night… he was going to tell me something.” Jaehyun can’t bear to hear your piercing wails, as he’s disappeared completely from the setting. When you’re panicked and searching for him, you only see Johnny staring back at you with a very concerned expression.

“And I will never know what he wanted to tell me.” Your tone grows soft and rather delicate, like a sad realization at the possibility that the secret died with Jaehyun that night.

“Some things are better left unknown. Do you really think you’ll feel better knowing?”

“Listen to him, y/n.” Jaehyun randomly appears next to Johnny’s stature. He stands a few inches shorter than him, but the sight of them together has you blinking in awe.

You’re darting between the two of them, “I don’t know what will make me feel better.”

“Come, tonight. Your whole family wants to see you for the one holiday that brings people together.” But when Johnny steps forward, you’re taking a step back.

“Please, just go.” With an assertive point to the door, your head does not lift up to watch your boyfriend leave. Despite every person you’ve done this to, Johnny’s hurts the most. His flame dies out tonight, providing no sense of security or heat. And with a toss of his arms of exasperation, he shuts your front door and leaves without a goodbye, without wishing you a merry Christmas.

Jaehyun calls your name, but you’re rushing to your bedroom and slamming the door shut. “Don’t you dare travel through the wall.”

Your apartment has grown so dark due to the shorten winter days. It’s pitch black all around you and the sky is no longer a deafening white. It’s the first time you notice the dark blue scattered clouds and the intricate snowflakes that drift carefully down to the streets. And, you’re all alone in the quietness. You truly are isolated every Christmas.

“y/n, let’s talk.” Jaehyun is beyond fed up with your behavior, that has to be the last straw. This is the first year since his death that he’s seen the evident spark in your eye, the hope that is hiding behind your depression. He sees it in the way Johnny looks at you, like you’re the greatest present he could receive in life. In your proclamation, as hard as it was to witness, is a spirit that wishes to be freed. There was a chance this year. There still is one.

“Jaehyun, you left me! You left all alone, and no matter how hard I try to stop thinking about you, it never works. In the end, no one is here for me like how you were.” Hands in your hair, you’re losing yourself at a rapid rate. It hurts to keep your eyes open, tears sting as they well up around the rims.

“Find a part of me in the people around you.” The door to your bedroom swings open and Jaehyun takes note of you by the window again. You want to leave, you want to be out there and he knows, before you can actually realize it yourself. You’re turning to face him and in the dark, he looks solid. He looks so real and whole.

“How do I do that?” It’s a genuine question that you’ve pondered before, but never feeling like you had the strength to do so. You’re always dwelling on your past with Jaehyun, indulging in the sacred memories only you two shared.

“What are things that you associate me with?” He is found leaning against your door frame again, hands are shoved into the pockets of his faded jeans.

You say the first thing on your mind, “snow.” When the words hit the air, your ceiling light flickers briefly. Jaehyun doesn’t flinch, however, still focused on your crying figure. Snow, the first sign of snowfall is when he appears for the winter.

“What else?” He encourages.

“Familiarity.” The light flashes again, for a mere second longer this time before it resumes darkness. Familiarity, for he grew up by your side for as long as you could remember.

There is an odd feeling that enters the room and you’re fearful of the unknown. But, Jaehyun’s cadence doesn’t falter, he’s not distracted by the random spurts of light. And if anything, it all could be his doing. “Keep going.”

“Comfort.” Flicker. “Warmth. Love. Excitement.” With each word, the light builds stronger and stronger. You’re speaking memories into existence now, “making snow angels until it got dark, laughing until our stomachs hurt, watching movies until the clock struck midnight, dancing until our legs gave out!”

Streams run down your face and you’re yelling until your throat feels raw, but you don’t wish to stop as the light glows brighter and brighter with each spoken word.

As you listen to every listed attribute and memory, you recognize a central theme in all of them and one thing that Jaehyun embodies, the one thing he’s always been associated with.

“Christmas.” A shaky breath exhales and a loud spark pierces your ears. The light illuminates intensely all around you, lighting up the darkest corners of your room and blinding you more than the sky has been lately.

“Jaehyun?” Closing your eyes, you can see the brightness through your eyelids and you’re beyond confused as to what is happening. When you mindlessly reach for his hand, you actually feel it and your heart is soaring due to strange unquestionable physics.

Jaehyun intertwines your hand in his own and caresses your face gently. For once, he doesn’t feel cold. He’s blazing hot, melting away the long days of isolation. “Open your eyes, y/n.”

What lies before you is an incredible, marvelous sight. Snow dusts the roof of your family’s house as green, red, yellow bulbs light the frame of it. Your parents really went all out; round snowmen sit perfectly together on your lawn. A decorative wreath hangs at the front door and a distinct chuckle catches your attention.

From the window that looks into your kitchen, your mother rolls a sheet of dough on the counter as clouds of flour erupt around her. Your father is preoccupied at the stove, with the silliest gimmicks for decorating the feast they’re about to hold. Silver tinsel line the dinner table with a festive table cloth draped upon it. The remarkable tree shines in the center of the living room, a glimmering star on top.

“I know we probably won’t see y/n again this Christmas…” The sound of your mother’s voice rings a bell in your yearning heart and Jaehyun is gazing at you with a wondrous look in his eyes. The grip on his hand is tight, your breath enters the night in puffs of smoke, and regardless of this all being real or imaginary, you’re so immersed in this reality that he knows you’re anticipating what your family has to say.

“... but something about this year really makes me miss them.” Your mother puts the rolling pin off to the side and rests her hand on the kitchen counter, trying to hold back any form of her own tears from falling.

“May Jaehyun watch over them tonight, our little angel doesn’t deserve to be alone.”

Your dad walks over to embrace your mother in a long hug, kissing the top of her head gently. “Merry Christmas, y/n.” Your father speaks into the air, without the knowledge of you outside, he’s thinking of you.

Something in your heart shatters, but it’s entirely different from the pain you’ve felt over the years following Jaehyun’s death. It’s a warm, bubbly feeling that spreads across your chest and you’re covering your mouth out of pure shock at the sight of your parents.

Your parents, who you’ve neglected every holiday season, still think of you. You recognize the ingredients that scatter the table, they make your favorite dish every year in hopes you’ll come join them.

Jaehyun whispers, “y/n, know that I’m always going to be here. I may physically be gone, but I live in your heart and the joyous memories we’ve shared together. I live through the many people who love you now, through Christmas. This spirit is also very much alive in the other people around you.”

When you peel your eyes from the scene of your parents, the vision suddenly disappears and you’re facing Jaehyun right back in your cold, empty, dark apartment. But you wish the moment lasted a little longer. For the first time in a long time, you wish to be with your loved ones. You wish to celebrate Christmas with the people who still care about you, the ones that are still alive and well.

“What if I’m not ready?”

“This signifies my final push down the hill. You’re all strapped up in your knee pads, y/n. You’re never truly going to be ready, but that shouldn’t stop you from trying.” Jaehyun pats your head lovingly and mimics the motions of securing a helmet on your head.

You’re letting go of his hand, running around quickly in search for the appropriate outerwear for the snow. It’s like a switch went off in your heart and a cathartic feeling settles in the pit of your stomach.

Every Christmas since his passing, you thought it was best to be alone. You thought it was selfish to live your favorite holiday season without your best friend, that you lost the spirit of Christmas.

However, this entire time… Jaehyun’s ghost has been a reminder that the Christmas spirit has always been alive. It’s not about the enthusiastic festive events or the cheerful themed activities or the distinct colorful decorations, it’s about the appreciation and love you have for the people who have made your year so special. You’ve associated the holiday so much with your best friend, that you’ve lost sight of it in your family, your current friends, your own boyfriend.

When you’re rushing out the door, you stop in your tracks and peer back at Jaehyun leaning against your door frame, just as he appeared a few weeks ago. He has the warmest, brightest smile on his face, “y/n, I think I finally remember the secret I wanted to tell you.” You’re afraid of the answer and the outside world, but your hand doesn’t slip from the door handle. Could it really be? The long anticipated secret that has been gnawing at your conscience since his death?

Nevertheless, he’s giggling and holding his stomach slightly from the immense amount of joyous laughter. “I wanted to tell you that I... finally learned how to shave.”

At first, you’re stunned at the simplicity of the beheld secret. All this time, you thought it had been something so meaningful, something so mind blowing, that needing to know practically destroyed your mental state. Then, a wholehearted and genuine laugh erupts from inside of you and you’re lighting up the darkest parts of yourself. Jaehyun looks at you fondly, like a beauty that he hasn’t seen in awhile.

“That’s fucking it? You came out in the middle of a blizzard to tell me you learned how to shave? How lame.”

Jaehyun chuckles, “when did I ever need an extremely valid reason to see you?” The laughter falls short at his confession and in the midst of all this enthusiasm, you bid him the softest smile. His purpose has been fulfilled, as the best version of you he’s always known and loved stands before him at last.

“I guess... you’re right. What’s going to happen to you now?”

“I’ll always be here for Christmas, even when you’re old and grey surrounded by the warmth of your loved ones in front of a large, extravagant Christmas tree. When the snow falls, I’ll be here.” Jaehyun’s dimple smile is the lasting image you see, the one you’ve always hoped to remember him by.

“Merry Christmas, Jung Jaehyun… I--”

“Love you too, y/n. Merry Christmas.” He ushers you out the door with a small kiss on your knuckles.

That is the last time you ever see him again. Now, when the snow falls, it marks the anniversary of your long awaited healing, the journey to acceptance, and the beloved memory of your best friend. May you never lose the spirit of Christmas and the warmth from your loved ones.

#nct scenarios #neowritingsnet #nct-writers #neothestars #kpopscape #nct scenario #nct #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun #jung jaehyun #nct fluff #nct angst #nct imagines #jung jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun scenario

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definitelynotkatesblog · 4 years ago

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Illustrated Man l Spencer Reid Fic

Pairing: Reader x Spencer Reid

Category: Fluff

Summary: Spencer comes home from a particularly difficult case, and begins to doubt himself. Reader helps him unwind and helps paint a picture of all the great things about him.

A/N: Helloooooooo friends! Yet again, I thought of a single line of dialogue I really wanted to make work so I spit a thousand words around it to bring it to life lol. Anyways! This fic is free of reader pronouns and gender identifiers, so anyone can read this and make the “I”‘a their own ☺️

P.S. I’ll see what I can do about not disappearing again for weeks on end, but I make no promises

Content warning: None! Except Spencer has his shirt off? But that’s it!

WC: 2.4k

The sound of the door clicking shut and Spencer vacating his lungs of all air drew my head up from my book.

“You’re home!” I cheered, closing my book and getting up to greet him.

He lifted his satchel over his head and gave me a small smile that didn’t touch his eyes. I nodded, mostly to myself, knowing that this meant the case was harder than most. On nights like this, Spencer was hard to reach. I padded my way across the living room and wrapped my arms around him like he might slip away if I didn’t hold him tight enough.

I pulled his head down to rest on my shoulder as his arms snaked around me, wrapping himself in me, too. We stayed like that a while until he stood up and cupped my cheeks in his hands, bringing my face up for a kiss.

‘Hi,” he said softly.

I smiled into his palms. “Hi.”

I took his hands in mine and kissed his knuckles, then led him to our bedroom to get him out of his work clothes. I helped him out of his cardigan and dress shirt, then left him to do the rest while I got him some water. When I returned, he was laying face down across the bed in a pair of sweatpants. His head rested on his crossed arms, and turned to face me when I laid next to him on the bed. I propped my head up one arm and gave him a half smile.

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

He thought for a moment before giving me a recap of the case, leaving out the gruesome details. I listened and ran my fingers across his back, alternating scratches with swirling patterns on the soft skin. Sometimes my hand would find itself at the nape of his neck and work through the hair there.

As he spoke, his voice became more resolved and tired. He worked so hard, but the things he saw, the things this job had put him through weighed on him. He was strong and incredibly smart, but just because he carried it well didn’t mean the load wasn’t heavy.

I took a deep breath and spoke gently, not wanting to offend him. “Maybe you can take some time off?” I suggested.

He shook his head, his chin brushing his hands folded under his chin.

“The team needs me. These victims and their families need me.”

I bit my tongue. I needed him, too. But this was hardly the time to bring that up.

“But this job,” he paused for a moment before continuing, “It takes pieces of me I can’t get back, and I’m scared all I am is the parts I’ve managed to pick up off of the ground.”

I closed my eyes and wished away the tears forming in my eyes. I heard him take a deep breath but he didn’t say anything else.

“I have an idea. Stay there.”

His head lifted and his eyes followed me around the room to our closet where my painting supplied resided.

“I’m going to paint you.”

“Paint me?”

I turned around, a towel in one hand and my box of paints and brushes in the other. “Yes. You’re gonna lay here and talk to me about anything in the world and I’m going to paint you.”

His eyes scanned the contents of my hands. I could see the gears in his head turning for a moment before he shrugged and gave a small nod.

“Okay.”

I ran a hand through his hair and bent down to kiss his forehead before climbing on the bed and straddling his thighs, setting my supplies on the towel beside us. “Talk to me.”

His head cocked to the side as he contemplated his answer.

“Not about work,” I clarified.

I felt his laugh beneath me. “Okay then, what would you like me to tell you about?”

I tapped my bottom lip with the handle of my paintbrush. “Hmmm. Read any good books lately?”

I could feel his smile without seeing it. If there was one thing Spencer loved more than saving lives and doing crossword puzzles in pen, it was reading. “I revisited some Ray Bradbury on the plane home,” he said.

“Mmm, tell me about it.”

He took a deep breath beneath me and began. “I re-read The Illustrated Man. It’s a compilation of short stories told through interactions between an omniscient narrator and a man covered in tattoos that each tell tales of events that have not happened yet. The tattoos are magic, and they come alive to tell the stories they depict. The stories are mostly science fiction, but have elements of pretty universal truths that Bradbury is famous for addressing.

For example, in one story explores the deep seeded longing of one man to take a trip to outer space. Something that, in this story, is attaintanable. He works his whole life to be able to fulfill this yearning, but he is torn between going or staying with his family, whom he also loves. It begs the question of the existence of duality of desire and duty.

Then, in another, there’s this incessant rain. And this group of men are searching for cover and sunshine, but it’s wearing them down and breaking them. These small raindrops, just water, becomes torture. It’s interesting how something as small as raindrops can break both canyons and men.”

I listen as he tells me about each story behind the man’s tattoos, about how they’re all different but important and lend themselves to portraying the then-futuristic perception world around us. Sometimes, his voice gets sad at the implications of the stories, but other times he seems to appreciate the sentiment behind them.

I dip my brushes and admire the way they drag across his soft skin, leaving a wake of vibrant pigments behind. I hmm and ahhh at appropriate times, partially paying attention but mostly glad that he’s able to enjoy himself and is able to think of something other than the darkness in his world.

We stayed in our respective positions for the better part of an hour- him laying on the bed with his head on his hands while I straddled the back of his thighs, stroking brushes across the lines of his back.

When I’m finally finished, I roll my neck and place my hands on the small of his back, taking a moment to take it in. The idea of creating a universe compelled me; there was so much beauty and so much unknown in the expanse of space. The concept seemed fitting for what I hoped to help him understand. I’d mixed a navy blue paint for a base, and created swirls of light with yellows, creams, and whites to create a brighter contrast and background for the more intricate featured parts. One section had books, a coffee cup, a molecular model I’d hoped was an actual chemical, and a small red apple.

The next was a canyon, modeled after one of the scenic drives we’d taken the last time we visited Vegas to see his mom at her new care facility. We parked at a lookout spot and watched the sun set- gorgeous oranges, yellows, and pinks painted the sky over the rock. It was at that moment I’d never been more jealous of Spencer’s perfect memory.

Another section, closer to the bottom curve of his spine was a silhouette outline of the Christmas card the team had sent out two years ago. Spencer had a copy hanging by a CalTech magnet on the fridge, another on his desk, and a folded and fading copy in his wallet.

He loved that photo – the way it captured their joyous spirits and ability to be carefree despite the things that initially brought them together.

I took a deep breath and playfully patted his bottom. “All done!”

He threw a boyish grin over his shoulder and handed me his phone.

I snapped a few pictures, holding the phone up by my chin to capture the expanse of his back, then a bit closer to the individual parts. I passed the phone back over his shoulder and brought my clasped hands up under my chin. “Okay, so, if you don’t like it, that’s okay you can wash-” I rushed, but stopped short when I felt his breath hitch from underneath me.

He was silent for a moment, staring at the phone in his hand.

I took a deep breath. “Spencer, you contain multitudes. You’re a loving son, an amazing friend, a brilliant profiler, a great cat-sitter, an instant mashed potato extraordinaire, and my favorite boyfriend.”

I dusted an invisible speck of dust off his shoulder before continuing, giving my words a moment to sink in. I needed him to hear me, and to know these truths. “You are so much more than the things you don’t love about yourself. You are more than this job, you are more than the obstacles you’ve had to overcome. They’re a part of who you are, yeah, but they’re not all that you are.”

I shook my head, though he couldn’t see it. The knowledge of the man beneath me not knowing he was deeply loved seemed so wrong.

“You are so incredibly loved, Spencer. The people in your life are so lucky to know you and to be loved by you. Each and every one of your friends is changed and is better for having known you, believe me.”

He was silent for a short while, pinching and zooming in on the screen to see the different parts of him illustrated in his skin. He cleared his throat a few times. Part of me was grateful I couldn’t see his face, and he couldn’t seem mine. Though, I didn’t need to see the way his mind was working to know he was trying to find a flaw in my logic.

The amount of love I had for the man beneath me threatened to spill over in the form of tears.

“Favorite boyfriend?” he asked finally, feigning insult.

I laughed. “So far, yeah.”

I knew that wasn’t the only thing he’d heard, but probably was the only thing he could bring himself to comment on.

I scrambled off of my perch unceremoniously, stretching for a moment before straightening up and offering my hand. He laid with his chin resting on his fists stacked, staring at me for a moment.

“What?” I asked with a small huff.

“Being loved by you is one of the greatest joys of my life.”

I felt my mouth pop open, a bit taken aback at such a bold admission. A sweet smile touched his lips while he watched me try to scoop my heart back into my chest. He climbed off the bed gingerly, careful not to rock the tray of paint and brushes with his long limbs.

His large hand wrapping around mine grounded me from cloud nine and I could feel the smile forming on my lips. I turned and started heading towards the bathroom.

“Come,” I said, pulling him along behind me.

When we arrived in the small room, I halted and spun him so the back of his thighs were resting against the porcelain countertop and I was flush against his front. My hands came to rest on the edges of the countertop, caging him between my arms. I looked up at him, squinting slightly.

“I’d like to take a picture, is that okay?”

I knew Spencer was wary of having his picture taken; most of our pictures together were candids I’d puppy eyed my way into him letting me keep.

He narrowed his eyes back at me. My lower lip made an appearance, coupled with a knitted brow and cautious look from under my lashes.

He laughed and shook his head. “Okay.”

Before he could change his mind, I grabbed my phone and rushed back to my place in front of him, pressing my front to his.

I snaked my arms around his torso so our chests were together while his back bearing my painting faced the mirror. My arms poking out from between his arm and torso space made him look like an alien, but placing one hand on his hip while the other held my phone gave the pose a more artistic feel.

I snapped a few pictures, messing with the lighting and exposure, playing with shadows from the vanity and positioning him every which way. Every once in a while, I’d pull my arms from him and show him a few shots I liked but they never felt like the one.

He smiled and nodded encouragingly, taking my direction to tilt this way or arch his shoulder that way. I started to feel for him, we’d been there for 15 minutes at least.

I pouted and let my head fall back dramatically. “I give up,” I whined.

He gave a small smile and leaned down to kiss me. I met his lips with a smile of my own before resting my head against his chest.

“Try one more time,” he encouraged.

I nodded and wrapped my arms around him again. I poked my head out so it was just visible behind his arm, resting my chin on his bicep as I focused my phone camera to capture the two of us and my work on his back.

“Smile,” I said before snapping a few shots. Spencer’s body shook with his laugh as he leaned down to press a kiss to the top of my head. My thumb grazed the shutter button, capturing the moment.

It was perfect.

His back was illuminated perfectly by the soft glow of the vanity mirror lighting, the muscles in his back tensed when he bent down, creating dips and curves that separated the focus points brilliantly. My hand wasn’t posed, just gently resting on his hip, a soft touch that lent itself perfectly to the lightness of the moment.

I pulled myself from around him and held the phone between us. His hand found the small of my back and he pulled me closer to him, sealing our lips together. Our lips were unhurried, enjoying the softness of the moment and the love between us. His free hand cupped my cheek as we broke apart. His eyes bore into mine, both pairs slightly glossy.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

I nodded and buried my head into his chest so he wouldn’t see the fresh tears springing in my eyes. His arms wrapped around me as he pressed more kisses to the top of my head.

——

Let’s talk about it!

#criminal minds #criminal minds fan fic #criminal minds fan fiction #spencer reid #Spencer Reid fluff #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid x reader #Spencer Reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #gn reader #criminal minds self insert #Spencer Reid gif #criminal minds gif #my writing

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dailyadventureprompts · 4 years ago

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maybe an odd question: my game has been on hiatus for a long time, so as we resume online soon i'm worried my players will be disoriented if we jump right back in where we left off. do you have tips for recaps? I can't very well go over Everything that happened before, and anyway if i talk for too long without engaging everyone, half of my players stop paying attention. and then i'll have to repeat myself ad infinitum. how do i engage people in a recap??

Drafting the Adventure: The Last-Time Tavern

The simple answer to your problem (a break in momentum, players that will tune out during a lore dump) is to prove instant engagement while slowly refreshing your players on what's going on. To manage that, may I suggest using a bit of storytelling magic and running a small, bitesize adventure as a kind of “sidestory”, rather than trying to plunge right back into the middle of where you left off?

Express your concerns to your players, explain why suddenly we're cutting away from where we were, and they we're going to be running a low stakes adventure as a way to get everyone used to playing online.

Then, when this "appetizer" adventure is finished, you use it as a slringboard for your a more active form of recap that'll take the form of your paty coming together to decide what to do next.

For this example, we're going to use "the Last-Time tavern" as our appetizer, its a cheery little inn just outside your plot relevant town or city that's recently run into some supernatural trouble that’ll be a delightful refresher for your adventure starved party. When you first run this adventure, don’t worry about filling your party in on the meta-plot or renewing crucial plot details, you’ve got plenty of time to wind back up to those in the future.

Adventure Hooks:

Not long before (Major plot event earlier in the campaign), your party was tired from traveling and each sorely in need of a hot meal and a soft bed. To that end, they stop in at the Last-Time Tavern. Their mission is simple: Get in, get fed, arrange some rooms for the night, and maybe have a bit of fun chatting and drinking with the tavern’s patrons, a friendly lot who are eager to swap stories of the road (worldbuilding refresher) and share a few toasts.

When the party ask about about rooms, they get a muddled response. The rooms upstairs are booked solid thanks to ( campaign event), and while some of the serving staff mention there also being rooms downstairs, the proprietor says there are no rooms in the cellar, and the party will need to lay out their bedrolls in the common room and try to get some sleep after the tavern finally calms down in the late evening. Likewise, some of the tavern regulars report having strange dreams while staying overnight, often involving a hazy figure silently watching them.

As a bonus, one of the other travelers staying at the tavern is an influential NPC the party may expect to meet later on in their adventures. While not a grand mover and shaker in the grand scope of the campaign, this character may provide an important contact for your key adventure, or may extend an offer of work if the party seeks them out later ( such as when the campaign resumes proper)

Setup: In actuality, the cellar rooms are unavailable due to a grisly discovery made by the proprietor some months ago. While attempting to repair some leaky foundations, they discovered a concealed cache within the walls, containing the mold covered bones and a selection of talismans and trinkets. More avaricious than superstitious, the proprietor took the bones and buried them out by the edge of the forest, and added the trinkets to their personal supply. Unbeknownsed to them, that cache was the remnants of a pagan altar, hastily hidden and later forgotten after a violent witchhunt swept the countryside and ensured the altar’s original constructor would never return. Now a ghost haunts the Tavern, creeping through at night looking for its lost possessions, unsettled from the rites that kept it bound to the altar. It dwells silent and unseen in the cellars most days, emerging only to look through the dreams of the sleeping to try to find the location of what was taken from it, and will do so as long as the possessions are not returned to its new grave.

Future Adventures:

NOW we get into the recap, after your players have finished dealing with the ghost and finish the “side story”, we start back up with the main story. We retcon that the trail went cold, and the party split up for a couple weeks/months to pursue leads, deciding to meet back up at a predetermined time at the Last-Time Tavern.

Things have changed from the party since then, and the patrons and staff are eager to hear of their continuing adventures ( again, letting you swap worldbuilding for , but this time you players can “ pay” for it with what they remember going on from their previous sessions).

Ask each party member what they think they’d have investigated in their time apart. Work with them there at the table till you can agree upon some stuff that happened, dropping in exposition and recap as you see fit. By giving each player exposition in the form of a “lead” they’ll be more personally interested in seeing it through and picking up where they left off before the break. also be sure to throw in some personal details about their character’s time away, perhaps throwing in some snippets of their own backstory.

Once everyone’s time away has been explained, ask the party what they want to pursue next. There’ll be as many options on the table as there are players ( plus one more now, thanks to the NPC you introduced earlier). Once they’re done discussing what to do next ( giving you a hint of where to aim your prep for the next few sessions), have something dramatic happen! The guards bust in and try to arrest someone! A scream radiates out through the forest! The rafters creek in strain as some massive flying creature makes a roost of the building they’re in. This can either be a completely random encounter, or serve as an intro to your greater A Plot, either way, it’s something to round out the session’s runtime that doesn’t’t require you to act on any of the split decisions your players just made.

Hope that Helps friend, it’s always tough to stop or start a story in the middle, and it takes some practice to know how to get your narrative train back on tracks. Let me know if this helps!

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#Anonymous #D&D #D&D adventure #Homebrew Adventure #Adventure #DnD #prompt postage #drafting an adventure #tavern #ghost #writing #low level #mid level

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fundy-simp · 4 years ago

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Eret/GN!Reader - Tired Recaps [1069 words]

Fluff! Just you comforting her and helping her recharge after a longish lore stream

Since Eret uses any pronouns I decided I was going to use she/her for this fic! If that bothers you feel free to scroll past :) Also I wrote this really late last night so please excuse any small mistakes

You laid sprawled out in you and Eret's shared bed, you had been cooped up in the bedroom almost all day. Mostly because you guys were in a new house and Eret was streaming, you really didn't want to somehow manage to get turned around and walk in mid stream, so you laid there.

After a bit of really just laying there you sat up and moved so your back rested on the head board. Lazily you dug your switch out from under the covers and flipped on your favorite game for probably the third time that hour. Unlike the last two times you did manage to get into the game a bit, but it didn't last long because before you knew it Eret was flopping down into your lap like some oversized dog.

"Oh, hey sweetheart!" you said happily, pausing your game and setting it to the side. She let out a half hum in response, "Are you okay?" you asked quietly, you really hoped she didn't have a bad stream today, it always broke your heart to see it happen.

Eret just nodded before sitting up and readjusting so that instead of laying across your legs she was laying on top of you, head resting comfortably on your stomach. "I'm fine, love. Just a long day, you know how it is." she said as she nuzzled into you, you always forget how much you love her voice till you hear it again.

You let out a quiet hum and idly start playing with her hair, carefully running your hands through the messy curls. "Did you have a good stream then? Heard there was a lot of plot happening on the dream smp today..." you asked, you always loved hearing about her streams, especially the lore ones thanks to how invested in her own character she was.

Laughing lightly, Eret nodded, "A lot is somehow an understatement for how much plot happened today."

You couldn't help but chuckle with her, "Oh really? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious." you replied, hoping she's up to ramble.

"Are you sure? It's seriously a lot." she asked one more time.

A soft smile fell on your lips as you replied, "Of course, I know how much you love talking about it. Not to mention I love to listen!"

"You asked for it," she said as she shimmied out of your grasp, moving so that now the back of her head rested on your chest. "Well, as you know, today was the big day. The day L'manburg was doomed to fall, once and for all." she started, her hands moved as she talked, definitely not as much as you but it was still a nice detail you had noticed.

"Everything was riding on today and my character was exhausted. She felt as if she'd done everything wrong, every move just got her stuck under Dream's thumb again and seemed to pull her away from redemption." she continued, you felt a faint pang in your heart at the mention of her character's redemption. You were, both admittedly and obviously, an Eret apologist. You felt like she had done everything right, even understanding that it's okay for it to not be enough to fix what had been done, but she was still pushed aside. You'd be lying if that didn't make you feel sad.

"Eret had run into Niki and Fundy before the big stream, the three of them making a pact to "make everyone learn a lesson" since they had been tossed aside so much. Honestly, it's what the characters needed, an extra bit to properly solidify their pain and need for closure. Really need to tell Niki thanks for the great idea." she nodded to herself, it was so... Cozy to listen to her ramble while you held her. Even in a new house that lacked signs of being lived in, it felt like home, a home that you plan to never lose.

By now you had accidently tuned out, silently you grabbed one of her hands and placed a soft kiss on it. You weren't expecting her to stop talking, but the surprised face with just enough blush to be noticeable was definitely a welcome surprise. "Wh- Hey! I was mid sentence!" she jokingly pouted as she pulled her hand out from yours and cupped your face.

"And?" you asked, snickering, "You gonna come up here and do something about it?" you teased her, which you didn't do often but was always a lot of fun.

"This is one of the very few times you can actually use that on me, are you kidding me!" she exclaimed, you just shrug in response, "You really gonna play like that?" she asked, pulling her hands down from your face, you nodded. She looked at you for a good few seconds, squinting at you with a scrunched face as she got up and turned back towards you.

A very fast "Okay then." was all the warning you got before she moved to straddle you and grabbed your face, planting kisses everywhere she could get her lips.

Giggles burst through your chest with a flood of warmth, halfheartedly you tried to push her off. "Stop it!! I- oh my God-" you said through laughter, you two may be alone but being showered in so much affection made you embarrassed.

Eret stopped for a second, looking down at your face, your’s full of breathless laughter and hers full of the most heartfelt love you'd ever seen. She sat and stared for a second before talking again, "... Fine, but for a price." she said finally. You instinctively held you breath and nodded. "I want a kiss."

You couldn't stop the chuckle that left your lips before the quiet, "Of course!" as you pulled her down. One hand rested comfortably on her cheek while the other arm was wrapped around her neck. Both of her hands cupped your face still as you two kissed, it was a soft kiss, a heartfelt one that felt like a soft reminder of your love. And when you two pulled away, both almost out of breath, you didn't even have to think of the words "I love you." before they left your mouth.

Then there wasn't a moment of hesitation before Eret replied, the biggest, most love filled grin on her face as she said, "I love you, too."

#dream smp x reader #dreamsmp x reader #mcyt x reader #eret x reader #fluff

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theoreticslut · 4 years ago

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The Truth that you Deny // Part 3

Part 1 / Part 2

Pairing: Fred weasley x reader x George weasley

Word count: 2,293

A/N: I hope you guys are still liking this - there haven’t been too many notes on the second part compared to part 1. There’s still a couple more parts to this so hopefully you guys are liking it 🙏🏻 ik it’s probably not the best fanfic out there, but for not writing anything like this is literal years I’m pretty proud of it. Let me know what you think & if you’d like to be added to a taglist for it!! Also, the way in which I’ve timed this has it taking place just before christmas so heads up. pls don’t get mad at me for the fact I’m talking about christmas & halloween literally just passed. i didn’t do it on purpose i swear.

Taglist: @justmesadgirl @xuckduck @yikesyikesyikes95 @filipi-yes @aestheticwh0r3 @siredkai @matsuno-nadeshiko

Quick recap: you’re friend Stephanie makes the point that you like the twins which you had been denying. After the twins try to get you to tell them who you like, you went quiet for a couple weeks as you have an internal battle between your heart and brain. You all go to a party and you get drunk, spilling a little bit of who you like to the boys. And go!

The next morning you can be found still in bed at 9, meaning you’ve completely missed breakfast, but you honestly couldn’t care less at the moment given you’re still asleep.

For the twins, however, they’d been awake for a couple hours now and knew you’d be grumpy if you had to wait until lunch to eat once you did, finally, get up.

Being the good friends they are, they figured they’d take some food back up to your dorm for you. They figured you’d more than likely still be asleep or at the very least tied to your bed with probably the worst hangover to date.

Upon entering your dorm, George notices you’re still asleep and smiles, motioning to his brother to be quiet. Fred peaks his head in and smiles at you sleeping so peacefully...too bad they were going to ruin it.

“Morning, y/n!” They both yelled as they jumped onto your bed either side of you causing you to fly up from your spot.

“Oh for Merlin’s sake.” You groan when you hit the bed again, you’re head throbbing with a headache.

“You’re both so fucking rude.” You pout, pulling a pillow over your head to try to block out the light and sound of your room.

“Good morning to you too, gorgeous.” Fred teases, laying down beside you.

“Did you sleep well?” George asks, ever so gently lifting the pillow from your head to talk to you.

“I guess. Bloody hell, how drunk was I last night?” You ask, finally sitting up against the wall as they sat either side of you, facing you.

“From what we could tell, you were wasted. Do you even remember anything at all?” George asks, looking over to Fred. Both of them were curious to know if you did, and if so, what. They were sure that you were talking about them being your crushes, but they didn’t want to assume anything in case you had been talking about someone else.

“Uhm....I remember getting there. There was a hufflepuff girl that complimented my outfit. I asked where the alcohol was....and then I believe I was on my...fifth drink when Oliver fell down after downing three butter beers? He’d had a lot beforehand, though.” You chuckle trying to recall the previous night.

“Oliver fell down around 9:30. We didn’t bring you home until after midnight. Do you remember anything else after that?”

You stop and think, frowning as you realize you really can’t. You remember that you were having a lot of fun, but you can’t remember any specific details.

“N-No...I guess I can’t.” You frown looking between the two of them.

They share a moment of understanding as a conversation plays out with just their glances. What they agree upon, however, is beyond your guess.

“I didn’t do anything dumb, did I?” You ask as you stand up, having climbed your way over George’s legs.

You wanted to change and clean off your face, but the thought that you did something humiliating stops you.

“Nothing stupid, no. You were going on about who you like though.” Fred mentions, sharing a look with George as you freeze again.

The twins wanted you to admit who you liked sober so they knew for sure that you liked them, because even though alcohol is supposed to make you speak the truth, it can’t always be trusted. Sometimes you say things just to say them.

“Did I now? Well, what did I say?”

You were worried that you had spilled everything to them as you really have no idea what you did say. If you did spill everything, where does that put the three of you?

“You said they were funny,” he replies.

“Brilliant.” George adds.

“Kind,”

“And absolutely adorable.” They say in sync, smiling at you as you nod, wiping off your makeup.

“Did I mention any names?” You ask, eyeing them through the mirror.

“No, but it’s only a matter of time before we find out who it is, right George?” Fred answers causing you to let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“Right, Fred. We’ll be hyper vigilant from here on out. Any guy you talk to we’ll be analyzing from afar.”

“Good luck with that, guys. There’s no way I’m telling you who they are.”

You turn the facet on to begin washing your face more thoroughly.

“We’ll figure it out, don’t you worry.” Fred smiles as they both watch you washing your face.

“What? Why are you both staring at me?” You giggle, a bit uncomfortable.

“You just look really nice in that dress.” George smiles, causing a faint blush to rise to your cheeks.

“You do. You looked stunning last night all dolled up.” Fred agrees.

Again you smile, your blush only deepening as you nod back at them in thanks.

~.~

A few days have passed since the party and luckily, neither of the twins have mentioned much about trying to figure out who your crushes are. As far as you’re aware, they’re looking for two completely different people.

“Good morning, gorgeous. How are you this morning? Steph asks, sitting beside you at breakfast.

“Tired. I didn’t sleep well last night.” You state, taking a sip from your coffee.

“Aw, how come?”

You watch as she starts piling stuff onto her plate.

“Too busy worrying about classes again. Had a nightmare that I messed up a potion and singed my eyebrows off, not to mention setting the classroom aflame.” You sigh, taking a bite of toast.

“Why didn’t you just put it out?”

“Well, I did....” you start, smiling at the twins as they joined you.

“But instead of just putting out the fire, I ended up flooding the classroom. Instead of just a smooth stream of water when I cast Augmenti, I somehow cast a whole bloody river.”

“Bad dream?” George asks, after a sip of coffee.

“Yeah, fortunately. I’d be so embarrassed if that happened in life.” You say, shaking your head at just the thought of it.

“There’s no way you could. You’re one of the best witches at the school, y/n.” Fred states, causing a small blush to rise to your cheeks as you thank him.

“Well I’d love to stay and catch up with all of you, but I have some reading I need to do before classes this morning. I’ll see you all in charms!” You say, as you get up and leave.

The twins watch after you as you leave, smiling to themselves as you wave to one of your ravenclaw friends that called out to you.

“So how are you two this morning?” Steph asks, smirking to herself.

“Wonderful.”

“Brilliant.”

“When are you going to tell her?” She asks, looking between the two of them.

“Tell her what?” Fred asks.

“That you guys like her? Don’t even try to deny it. I’ve noticed every time you both look at her when she’s not paying attention and I’ve seen the way you guys smile over her. You seriously look like lovesick puppies.”

“No, your right. We just...we don’t know.”

“We’re kinda waiting for the right time and it just isn’t yet.” George adds.

“You better tell her soon, all the sexual tension at this table is suffocating.”

The twins laugh, but know you’re right. They need to tell you soon.

They kept to their promise and analyzed the body language, and conversations if they could hear them, of you and any guy you have talked to. they’re certain you don’t like anyone else and that you were talking about them. The thought that it still might be someone else, however, worried them.

~.~

At dinner that night, you’re all chatting away when McGonagall stands up to make an announcement.

“Boys and Girls, it’s again that time in the year where I will be getting a list of those staying here over the winter break. I will be taking the end of this week and beginning of next to come around and check bases with each of you. Thank you.”

Slowly the sound of chatter from all tables starts up again. You smile as you turn back to your friends. Christmas has always been your favourite time of year.

“Y/n, you’ll be coming to the burrow again right?” George asks.

“Of course, dummy. It’s my favourite place besides here. Your mum is absolutely amazing.” You smile, giggling as Steph bumps shoulders with you when you said it’s your favourite place.

You know she’s still trying to get you to admit your feelings to Fred and George, but thankfully she’s backed off on verbally saying it.

“Good. Mum loves having you over, doesn’t she Fred?” George smiles.

“Oh yeah. I think she’d be very happy if you were her daughter.” He laughs, a big smile lighting up his face.

“And I mean, we like when you’re over too.” George says, blushing a bit himself as his words bring a blush to your cheeks.

“Of course you do,” You laugh. “You guys just like that I keep your mum from yelling at you two all the time. That and how I sing Christmas carols nonstop.”

Both of them groan and roll their eyes when you say that even though, secretly, they really do love the amount of extra joy you bring to the house around the holidays.

~.~

“Ah! There are my favourite children.” You can hear Molly call as you step off the train after Ginny, Ron, and Harry - Fred and George following after you.

“Oh, you’ve all grown so much since the start of term. Y/n, darling, you’re just as beautiful as ever.” Molly gushes.

“Thank you, Mrs. Weasley. It’s wonderful to see you again.” You smile as you give her a hug.

“You too, dear.” She smiles as you both pull away.

“Come on now, let’s get back to the burrow. Y/n, I could really use your help doing some baking when we get there?”

“Of course.” You smile, picking up your bag that George had carried off the train for you.

“Mum, don’t you think she should get to rest a minute before jumping in to help with preparations?” Fred asks, a bit upset that she asked you so quickly when Ginny is able to help just as much and is her actual daughter.

He’s never liked when people take advantage of you. It didn’t happen terribly often, but usually when it did you never even noticed because you thought you were just helping a friend. You’re extremely kind and helpful, but he’s seen some of your “friends” use you until they get what they were after and then dump you. He’s also seen how much that bothers you when you realize they really weren’t that much of a friend.

“Well, yes. Of course. You all should. Take a moment to unpack and get settled in.” Mrs. Weasley states as you all pile into the car.

Harry, Ron, and Ginny sit in the front with Mrs. Weasley, leaving you, Fred, and George to squeeze into the back seat. While the car is roomy, the backseat is not particularly made to fit three teens, especially when two of them are about 6 feet tall, along with the luggage that didn’t fit in the trunk. Both Fred and George had agreed it would be easier if you sat in the middle since you were smaller, however you were still nearly sitting on top of them due to the lack of room. Neither of them complained though as they quite liked how close you were to them.

~.~

Once you had all arrived to the burrow you each went to your respective rooms - Fred and George to theirs, Ron and Harry to Ron’s room, and you and Ginny to her room.

You sighed contently as you set your bag on the floor.

“Did you have a nice ride over here, y/n?” Ginny asks, smirking.

“What do you mean, Gin?”

“You were practically sitting on the twins’ laps. That must have been nice, right?”

You hadn’t ever directly told her you liked her two older brothers, but she could tell from the way you looked at them and teased them.

“It would’ve been nicer to not be piled on top of each other.” You chuckled.

“I agree with you there.” She smiled, beginning to unpack her bag.

“So what about you? How are you doing with Harry?” You smirk. She wouldn’t admit it, but it was obvious that she had a crush on him. You’ve noticed how she talks about him, attempting to causally bring it up in conversation between the two of you, but you knew.

“What? I don’t -“

“C’mon, Ginny. You know I won’t tell, but I do know that you like him.”

“Fine, yeah. I do. I don’t expect it to go anywhere though. I mean, he’s Harry Potter and I’m younger than him anyway.”

“You’d be surprised, Gin. Just keep trying.” You smile.

“So what about you, Fred, and George? You do like them, don’t you?” She asks as you unpack a few of your things.

“I do, but it’s just really complicated. I don’t want to ruin anything, you know? I’ve gained so much since meeting them, from having them as friends to gaining all of you as a family....I don’t want to lose any of that.”

“Awe, y/n! I love you. You’d never lose me, I promise.” Ginny smiles as she hugs you.

“I love you too, Gin. I’m glad I’ll always have you.” You laugh, hugging her back as a smile takes over your features.

Christmas time at the burrow has begun and you were happy that you were able to be a part of it. There isn’t anywhere else you’d rather spend it.

#harry potter imagine #harry potter #fred weasley #fred weasley imagine #george weasley #george wealsey imagine #Fred and George #Fred and George Weasley #fred and george weasley x reader #imagines

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kim-ruzek · 3 years ago

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I couldn’t watch last night’s episode (I have it on DVR) what did Jay do that can’t be excused? I really don’t care if you spoil it for me. I need to know now haha

He helped cover up a war crime

It's nothing shocking or like... I'm sorry if I made it seem more interesting bc it's not it's just eh. But depending how much Jay is held up as this morally right person, when I watched the episode I was like,,, people fucken better not brush over this. So nothing exciting.

And I don't mean excused in the sense we should talk and talk and talk about this. Bc honestly we shouldn't. Especially bc the discussion will get pretty political and not everyone wants to engage in that.

But I don't want people to say eh it's war, bad things happen. I don't want people to say what did you expect, and basically imply that we shouldn't discuss this, especially the implications, bc we knew jay was a ranger.

And I do not want people to say that it's fine and dandy that jay did this because he showed remorse, to act as if this isn't a morally black and grey blemish on him.

It is. It's bad. And already I hate how everyone holds jay up as this golden boy not even counting what he's done in the show but because he was a ranger. And now we know this? I don't want to hear any crap about how he's kept his hands clean. He has not. I could talk about the other reasons for hours and now I can talk about this too.

AND. most importantly. So I understand that we won't talk and talk and talk about this. I don't want us too. BUT. when, and it is when, people bring this up or discuss this, or make a very valid criticism on jay bc of this I do not want people to be like 'but it's war! but he's sorry!'

That is what I mean when I say excuse. I don't want people downplaying it when discussing jay just because he's remorseful.

Remorse is an important thing when you commit crimes. Often people up for parole has to show their remorse, their understanding of that their deed was bad and harmful. But it's not a get out of jail free card-- they still served their sentence, they were still punished.

Remorse does not equal justice, and while I don't want to see any legal justice about jay not just bc it wouldn't fly, I don't want people to use his remorse (something that doesn't make him honourable for having, it makes him what a human should be) as justification for his actions.

I'm sorry I'm not going into too much detail, I am exhausted. I've had another anon message about this, I'm taking you as two people in good faith, but I'll say this-- if you were one, you know, there is articles that recap the events of the episode. I originally took the two anons as one and it was actually quite overwhelming when I got the second notification bc of how tired I am. A nap later I could think a little more rationally, but I just wanted to say this just in case.

Also, I'm not saying much bc I'm only making posts I can make on my phone until I feel better. 💖

#Reese's asks #chicago pd #jay halstead #Chicago pd spoilers #cpd spoilers #sorry if that last paragraph came off bitchy #i really do love getting anons. i don't mind it #I just wanted to make sure on the off chance it was one person that you know to please if you're really thst desperate. look up thr article #bc I can take a few hours to get to an ask #even on s good day

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amythecinnabunny · 4 years ago

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71 and 100 Julie and Luke

71. Twenty-Four Hours to Live

100. Accidentally Saving the Day

You really would like to kill the fandom and me wouldn't you???? I tried so hard to make it jukebox specific but the whole band + Willie are so closely entwined with each other its nearly impossible akxbjsbsbs

So I'm thinking canon-verse? But a year later or less. I think more than a year would get a little awkward as Julie would surpass 17 in a year's time.

All our current problems and issues are resolved by this point. Ray, Carlos and Tia Victoria have met the band. Possibly Carrie too. The Bobby/Trevor debacle is dealt with. Caleb is deslth with (he's not dead(er) he's just keeping to the HGC). Julie and Carrie have since mended their friendship. Jukebox and Williex are official now. Possibly Flarrie too, maybe Kaylie. Maybe Nick/Flynn. Maybe Carricklynn. Maybe Nick/Reggie. Who knows, anything is possible. Julie can see but not touch Willie -- but he others can't see him at all.

The band has made it big by now. They're the latest and greatest. Almost everyone is talking about Julie and the Phantoms. By now, articles and posts refer to them as legends.

Julie's looking at colleges now and it's kinda settling in that Julie's growing up. In a year, she'll be done with high school and going off to college, something the boys never even had the change to do. So that angsty conversation's gonna happen.

But then things start to get weird. Sometimes, Julie will pass through the boys but they won't immediately notice. Or they'll be talking to someone other that Julie and they'll sort of flicker. Not physically or anything its just that to the other person, they're flickering.

Oh yeah, for this, I'm gonna go with the more they play with Julie, the more human-like they get and by the end of the year gap, they're visible full-time, just not always tangible to people other than Julie. They can still do their gimmick cause the whole visible thing is on command. So you can bet your ass Luke vanished on the spot when Ray asked about jukebox.

The strange thing is . . . It's happening with Willie too. Sometimes Willie's hand will go right through Alex's. Sometimes he and Reggie are playing video games with Carlos and then both of them see Reggie flickering and Reggie, of course, doesn't notice

One evening, after a late night gig, Julie and the boys gather on one couch to watch the local 24/7 news together and see them hit the highlights on a recap. The newscaster??? newsreader??? wtf do you call em? anyway the presenter brings them up near midnight and calls them Los Angeles' most beloved legends.

Midnight on the dot, the boys get these circles on their wrists. Like tattoos. A stamp. Just a thick black ring. They're all confused about it and they check Julie's wrist for a ring -- maybe it's a magic band thing? -- but Julie's wrists are free of any black circles.

They're so confused, they spend all night thinking about it. Julie doesn't even sleep. She calls Flynn about it. She calls Carrie about it. She even talks to Carlos until he gets tired. Alex brings Willie over to talk about it. They're all so baffled that they don't notice it changing until dawn-ish.

Willie's the one to notice Alex's. A quarter of the ring is missing. Julie grabs Luke's wrist and compares it to Reggie's before scrambling over each other to put their wrists next to Alex's. All still identical, with about a quarter of it missing.

"It looks like a countdown."

"What happens when it counts down to the end?"

Silence

Willie says he'll ask around the HGC. Yes, Caleb is safe to visit. His ass has been kicked and it's mostly embarrassment that keeps him holed up when he's not performing or practicing.

Reggie shrugs it off, saying he and Carlos have a date with Destiny. Destiny 2, to be specific. Alex also shrugs it aside, he has a Dirty Candy rehearsal to crash and he's not about to miss it. (The running lie is that the boys visit Julie after every gig. Maybe Kayla knows the truth too. Idk it's small details, up to the author that would like to decimate me by writing this)

That leaves Luke and Julie alone together. Julie can't get it out of her mind. If it's a countdown, what's it counting down to? What happens at the end?

Luke tries to take her mind off it with some songwriting after she gets breakfast, maybe practicing a little together. They even write a little bit of a duet together. Luke keeps Julie entertained for a full four hours, amid which Alex returned and chose to go and watch Reggie and Carlos completely lose track of time.

Julie takes an hour-long nap, leaving Luke to stare at the ring on his wrist and wonder why it's nearly a half circle now.

Willie pops into the studio in a frenzied panic, Reggie and Alex in tow. Luke is so startled, he nearly drops the acoustic. The clatter wakes Julie. Willie looks almost apologetic when he notices her.

Julie asks him what he found out as Luke sits next to her and helps her move her hair from her face. Willie struggles to explain. He's half hoping that maybe, if he doesn't say it aloud, it won't be true. He says it's a clock. It's twenty four hours.

Reggie is the one who asks what happens at the final hour. Willie doesn't answer for a long while. He just holds Alex's hand tight.

At the same time, Willie's hand drops as if he hadn't been holding on to anything and Luke's arm passes right through Julie. The boys flicker before Julie and Willie and it lasts nearly ten seconds.

It slowly dawns on them. No one wants to say it.

"They cross over," Julie whispers when the silence gets heavier than the revelation. Willie only nods. The silence in the garage weighs on them almost visibly.

They look at their wrists, almost half circles.

"So we have about twelve hours left," Alex says. "Maybe we can figure out a way to stop it."

Willie reaches for Alex's hand again. "I asked. There's no way to stop it. Once your unfinished business is complete, you have twenty four hours before you're gone from here. Gone for good."

Luke is adamant there's a way to stop it. His arm tightens around Julie, like she's the one leaving. He hates the defeated look in Willie's eyes. He hates that even in the back of his own mind, there's a voice telling him to get his affairs in order before he dies for the second time.

By the time Reggie determinedly states that there has to be a way to stop it and that they will figure it out, the marks have become perfect half-circles. There are only twelve hours left.

I don't wanna think too hard about it because I don't need to cry at 10pm, but there will be a lot of sad but sweet jukebox moments in between it all.

By the time there's only a third of the ring left, they've started losing hope. They haven't found a single ghost who has any idea how to help. The internet has been very unhelpful. There was a group of wiccans who tried to help but they suggested a spell that didn't look very authentic and it also involved sacrificing a goat at midnight and well, they didn't have until midnight. Still, the wiccans were very sympathetic and wished them well.

They didn't know how to tell the rest about this and they didn't have any idea how to say goodbye to each other. It felt like they were trying to say goodbye to a piece of themselves, the the most important part of themselves.

At the three-quarter mark, Reggie quietly tells Alex and Luke that they ought to spend some time alone with Willie and Julie. If Reggie/Nick or Reggie/Flynn is a thing for this, then Reggie would spend some time alone with them. If not, probably Ray and Carlos.

Cue the most heartwrenching conversation you have ever read in your life, ending with the worlds most grief-filled kiss. I'd get into it but like I said up there, I cannot afford to start crying now.

It's a thin black strip when they get together in the studio. Reggie's partner would be there too if he has one. If not, it's just the band + Willie.

Willie hasn't let go of Alex for over an hour, but now, when the mark is a nearly invisible line, he nudges Alex forward, towards Julie and Luke.

"Band circle?" Luke tries to joke. It only makes their tears fall faster.

Reminiscent of the hug they shared when Caleb's stamp lifted, the four of them try as hard as they can to hug each other as tightly as possible. Willie thinks to himself that he feels strange not being the last person to hold Alex, but it feels like for his band to be the last people to hold him.

None of them are very co-ordinated outside of music related things and just like the night a year ago, they tumble to the ground when someone stands on someone's foot and someone leans a little too much in one direction.

Willie can't help the laugh. It's just so them to be so undignified even in their last moments. He can't even see any of their marks anymore. The only reason he knows it must still be there is because the boys are this there. They knock the radio down and it starts playing the last inserted CD. Willie joins them on the ground and lays his head on Alex's chest as Now or Never fills the studio. --like we'll live forever, but live it like it's now or never

Julie, from between Luke and Reggie, reaches over to grab Alex's hoodie, just so she can be holding on to all of them when it happens. "I love you guys so much."

Luke kisses her forehead. There is a chorus of, "I love you too, Julie." Willie and Alex quietly share another set of "I love you"s.

Julie has long since gotten used to laying her head on Luke's chest and hearing nothing, but the silence behind the old song is nearly deafening. It just serves as a reminder than this is the last time she will ever see or touch Luke or Alex or Reggie again. She wraps her other arm around Reggie. It's uncomfortable and is probably bruising some part of her body, but she needs to be able to hold them all before they go.

Julie shuts her eyes and holds tightly to her boys, wishing with all her heart that there was some way to save her boys again. Some way to bring them back properly this time, so they could grow up with her. Some way to make sure Alex and Willie could stay together, that one of then won't ever have to say goodbye.

It only registers that something feels a little strange after the song abruptly cuts. The CD scratches, trying to play the rest of it but there's just a steady clicking sound. It clicks on a steady count. Like a steady drum beat. In time to a pulsing beat.

Like startled stoats, Willie and Julie shoot up and lock eyes over Alex and Luke.

The boys are, rightfully, confused.

Julie and Willie spiderman-meme point at each other, sputtering like an old car on a frozen winter morning.

Still confused and expecting to be long gone, they boys sit up and search their wrists for any traces of the mark, even the thinnest of lines.

Finally, Julie gets a coherent word out. "Heartbeat!"

"Heartbeat!" Willie echoes, nodding vigorously.

They're still jabbing their fingers at each other, having a full conversation with their sputtering sounds.

"Heartbeat?" Reggie echoes, baffled.

Julie and Willie yell at Luke and Alex, "Heartbeat!" It seems to be the only word they can get out. Clicking her tongue, Julie grabs Luke's hand and presses it to his own chest.

Reggie screams suddenly. He's standing suddenly and he's got his fingers at his neck. "P-p-p-pulse!"

He looks at Julie and Willie. "Heartbeat," he says slowly, understanding.

Alex screams. Willie only realises Alex had been holding his wrist when he lets go.

"What?"

Alex reaches out for Willie, as if to cue his face, but instead places his fingers just under Willie's jaw. He screams again, startling Willie, who never expected his boyfriend to look him in the eye and shout like he'd seen a demon. So Willie screams. Which startles Alex. Who screams again.

Luke finally registers what's going on. He screams. Right in Julie's ear. She gets startled. She screams. Startling Luke. Who screams again.

Reggie is still screaming with each place he puts his fingers and feels a steady beat.

There is so much screaming going on in the studio that Ray and Carlos make their way down too. Carri and Flynn, who wanted to be there for Julie after, come barreling in after. The four of them stand there, perplexed, as Julie, Alex, Reggie, Willie and Luke, all standing now, point at each other and scream.

Its pandemonium, honestly. A miracle none of the neighbors have come over to check.

And Julie drops her first curse in front of her dad as she stares at Luke, Reggie and Alex. "WHAT THE FUCK, YOU GUYS????"

Willie, who's never had any qualms cursing when no living adult could ever hear him, stares at Juliie like she's grown a second head. "NO! NO NO NO! NOT THEM WHAT THE FUCK! ME WHAT THE FUCK!!! ME!!!!"

Julie squints at Willie. "What??"

Alex holds up Willie's wrist. "PULSE!!"

Julie's eyebrows shoot up. "PULSE???? WHAT DO YOU MEAN PULSE?!"

"I mean pulse! What do you think??"

"What the hell is going on in here?" Carrie finally mutters.

As one, they all turn to the perplexed group in the doorway. Julie grabs Luke and drags him up to Carrie. She almost throws him at Carrie with the amount of force she uses to thrust his arm at her. "Pulse," she says, pointing to Luke's wrist.

Carrie sighs. "You know you're the only one that can--" Carrie screams when Julie slaps her arm with Luke's hand. Carrie screaming startles Flynn, who let's out a short screech.

"NO MORE SCREAMING!" Ray yells. In the silence, the clicking radio seems to get louder. Not trusting any of the screaming teenagers, Ray turns to his son. "Carlos, can you turn that off, please?"

Carlos rights the radio and presses the pause button. He presses it again. Sunset Curve fills the studio for a second -- dreaming like we'll live forever -- before Carlos manages to get it off.

Later, after they've explained everything and are still trying to wrap their heads around it, Julie crawls onto the couch beside Luke and lays her head on his chest. It's incredibly strange to hear a steady beat where there was once nothing but she can't deny that she loves the sound of it.

"That demo has more magic in it than the entire Hollywood Ghost Club," Alex mutters from the armchair he and Willie are squished into.

"I wonder what'll happen if I listen to any of the other tracks on the demo," Julie jokes.

"We'll probably grow wings," Reggie mutters from under Carlos, who had been so thrilled that Reggie wasn't leaving anytime soon, he had fallen asleep hugging Reggie.

Alex and Luke laugh, sharing an inside joke.

"You think you guys would still be here if Reggie didn't knock the radio over?" Willie asks.

"All hail, my mighty inability to watch where I'm going."

This time, Julie and Willie laugh too.

Julie curls up against Luke and sighs contentedly, listening to Luke's heart pound against his ribcage. In that moment, she can't think if anywhere else she'd rather be, anything else she'd rather listen to.

For the first time since they died, when Julie finally falls asleep, they doze off too.

Willie feels strange. When he yawns, he realizes he hasn't been tired since he first woke up as a ghost. It's nightly inconvenient and annoying, but he hasn't felt this alive since Alex first kissed him. As Willie dozes off, he makes a mental reminder to figure out what included him in the whole thing. He'll forget when he wakes up and they spend the day celebrating their mere alive-ness.

Things get even more interesting when Julie and the Phantoms perform again and Jullie accidentally walks through Luke, but that's a whole other story.

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #julie and the himbos #julie and the fat ones #jatp fic #jatp fic idea #ask #ask meme #thanks for the ask!#trope mashup ask

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uwua3 · 4 years ago

Text

your name (pt.1)

❄️📚 tsukioka tsumugi

part 1 — part 2 — part 3

summary: being an adult is tiring, tsumugi knows that all too well.

warnings: class divide (struggling financially), food

author’s note: this is the first ever series i’m doing! please anticipate the next installment of the “your name” series tomorrow :D i’m so excited to share this since part 01 is my first ever wip for a3 ever 🤍 please enjoy!

word count: 2,932

music: kimi no na wa soundtrack – radwimps

Running with reckless abandon, a boy trips amidst the bustling public traffic in the station, books flying out of his arms from the sheer force of his turn. Passer-bys barely spared a glance at the panicked tutor as he bent down to gather his academic papers, all imprinted by strangers’ shoes. In a moment of lifelong embarrassment, the world continued to spin as nothing rippled the fabric of time.

Murmurs spread across the crowd, daily small talk between people who would never see each other again on the complex train system. Students shared personal gossip too loud for their own good as their prestigious private academy skirts flew past him. Businessmen burdened themselves with client phone calls as they were all weighed down by the same leather briefcase. Employees wore their customer service mask, smiling politely before dropping their act immediately afterwards when they thought no one was looking. As expected, there was no time in the schedule to stop and help a recent university graduate out of his clumsy peril. Everyone was too distracted by their own problems to consider breaking their routine.

Perceptive by nature, Tsukioka Tsumugi didn’t need to glance at his watch to know he was late to his study session. The automated female voice sounded dull over the speakers, announcing his designated train was to depart in five minutes in a monotone attitude. Tokyo was a busy city with no mercy for those who didn’t plan every second of their future. That much was understandable by the aspiring teacher who quickly pulled out his outdated flip phone as he carefully eyed the assignments back in his possession.

A single tone rang before a drawl was heard in poor quality, with a shit–eating grin Tsumugi knew all too well.

“Tsumu, did you finally realize I don’t need your tutoring?” Settsu Banri mocked, the distinct background noises of his new video game obsession making Tsumugi speed walk even faster. With his books held tight against his chest, he sighed and almost pinched the bridge of his nose before realizing none of his hands were free. Placing the phone in between his shoulder and ear, Tsumugi rolled his eyes as he attempted to organize his mess.

“Banri-kun, please refer to me as Tsukioka-san. I am your senior by years, if I may remind you.” Tsumugi reprimanded, noting Banri’s agitated groan and muttered under his breath about the age difference between them. Unlike the other students Tsumugi tutored, Banri was defiant. Over–the–top, lazy, and arrogant—but deadly smart. Ever since Tsumugi carefully took off his shoes in the Settsus’ overpriced apartment, Banri took it upon himself to make his life a living hell by refusing to do the work but getting every question right. The only thing Banri cooperated with was talking about video games, which distracted him from his innate ability to be the best at everything. So on Friday afternoons, Tsumugi would visit to recap the weekly curriculum and try his best to stay patient with Banri’s snappy attitude.

“Why’d you call anyways? You’re late, by the way.” Banri pointed out right before Tsumugi fell through the two closing doors on the train, tumbling into a displeased but silent group as he gripped the overhead. Spectators only stared for a second before turning away as Tsumugi blushed under the attention, stammering back a half–assed apology of how he was going to be twenty minutes late for their session.

“Hold on, am I talking to the right person? Tsukioka Tsumugi, late? Real funny, just tell me you quit or something.” Banri feigned a bothered persona, but it was nice to pretend he was actually worried over the possibility of not seeing Tsumugi. Apologizing quickly to a corporate worker he bumped into, Tsumugi fixed the bag slung too low on his right shoulder as he took the phone back in his hand. At the same time, the zipper on his decade old bag gave out as it took his foot’s entire strength to keep the folders in place. Great, another thing to replace.

Staring outside the window, the school year was coming to a close as the heat of incoming summer air made him grip the phone in case of vicious sweat. “Banri–kun, you know I value our study sessions together.” He didn’t respond, just a resigned hmph before hanging up as Banri started swearing into his gaming headset. Tsumugi closed his eyes, getting his minutes of shut-eye for the first time in days as the sun glowed. Time didn’t stop for anyone, especially not Tsukioka Tsumugi.

After being greeted way too properly by the Settsu chain of servants, Tsumugi could hear the exaggerated game sound effects throughout the rather empty mansion. Walking carefully into Banri’s wide open door, Tsumugi grimaced at the sight of the energy drink cans crushed and thrown haphazardly near the trash can. Junk food wrappers were kicked underneath the expensive furniture as Banri was focused on his two–screen gaming setup. The rainbow LED keyboard was smashed expertly by Banri’s quick fingers all without looking down, getting him a #1 win as he boredly stared at the victory. As expected of NEO-san, a top league player. Or so Tsumugi’s heard by his other student, Taichi, who dramatically cries every time he loses against Banri.

“Banri-kun, please excuse my interruption.” Tsumugi announced, holding up the textbooks he had carried with a strained smile. Banri didn’t even look over as he logged off, saying something about GG to his teammate by the name of “Taruchi” before pushing the cat headset down around his neck. Spinning around in his black gamer chair, Banri raised one eyebrow at Tsumugi’s disheveled appearance panting slightly in the doorway. It was unlike his composed, proper tutor to be... like every young adult out there? Tsumugi didn’t seem like he had all the wisdom and knowledge in the world, he looked more... confused than anything.

“Geez, Tsumu. Didn’t think you’d sleep in, watched the meteor strike last night?” Banri smirked, rolling his chair across the room to his school desk as he put his legs up, stretching his arms beneath his head lazily. How he hadn't changed out of his white t-shirt and sweatpants was beyond Tsumugi as he sat in his normal chair silently, unlike the loud high schooler who glanced at the folder of work with a yawn. Grabbing some trendy bucket hat, Banri shoved the brim over his eyes as he took a break from the flashing neon blue light from his monitor.

“Meteor strike?” Tsumugi questioned innocently, attempting to hold conversation as Banri hummed a game soundtrack absentmindedly. Nodding, Banri pulled up his modern phone that made Tsumugi wince thinking of the price of that thing. Shoving the screen in front of Tsumugi’s wary red eyes, he blinked rapidly to adjust to the bright overpowering pixels. Tsumugi noticed an event marked that raved about the phenomenal light show the day before. Thinking back on the train incident this morning, Tsumugi remembered the excitement buzzing through the students a week prior as they whispered about a new chance to wear their best yukatas to celebrate. It had been so long since he was in school, that he completely forgot about all the childish euphoria that came with change.

“I must’ve slept through it. I didn’t notice at all.” Tsumugi admitted, tilting his head as he tried to remember the news every morning the past week. He couldn’t remember a single story of the astronomical event, although every day felt the same as usual. It was peculiar; Tsumugi was awake all night, too. He couldn’t sleep without his medication... maybe he should have looked up for once.

Taking his phone back to check the game notification popping up on screen, Banri chuckled as he shoved a stick of chocolate pocky in his mouth. “Mhmm, said it was a historical event n’ all. Supposed to be life-changing.” Banri offered bare minimum detail on anything and everything, but it was enough for Tsumugi to have a slight understanding as he set up the workspace. Banri noticed the distant look in Tsumugi’s eyes, the tiredness stifled underneath the graceful mannerisms as it looked like he was going through the motions. Attempting to lighten the mood, Banri’s voice came off meaner than he intended. “Aren’t you like? 25? How come you don’t know this stuff, you’re no boomer.”

Tsumugi frowned, glancing at Banri who looked away immediately with a flustered expression. Leave it to Banri to overthink whether or not he overstepped a boundary but refuse to acknowledge it. Tsumugi kept the meme going, sarcastically deadpanning, “Haha” before tossing a new eraser at Banri’s mushroom hair. Banri caught the gift in one hand easily as he slowly turned it over, turning his body to fully face his tutor. His feet dropped to the floor with a bang, startling Tsumugi to straighten his posture and stare directly into Banri’s curious face that had a glint of... concern?

“What’s all this? A gift to make me like you or something?” Banri jokes, nudging Tsumugi’s foot with his own. Tsumugi couldn’t help but notice the tight death grip Banri had on the small, game controller shaped eraser he had found at his full time work as a florist. Across the street was a one dollar convenience store, where teenage workers stood at the register on their phones as Tsumugi checked out the stationary. Wearing his dirt–stained apron, he remembered coming across miniature, adorable erasers that made him think of his students. Especially the red and blue Nintendo Switch joy con erasers that made Tsumugi think of Banri’s whole rant about the superiority of Fire Emblem: Three Houses’ Black Eagles for the potential wife girls. Sure, it was a hit on his already fragile bank account, but it was worth it to see Banri genuinely happy about something for once.

“You already do, I’m the longest tutor you’ve had.” Tsumugi didn’t need the thanks, because it was clear in the way Banri for once put something down without throwing it. Banri scoffed, mumbling a weak comeback as he flipped open his notebook. He even tossed his hat off his head, revealing the messy long hair tucked behind his ears. Oh, he did his homework for once, Tsumugi mused with satisfaction before trying to flip to the appropriate page in the school’s textbook. It was open to a section on meteors, and glossy colored pictures of the sky made Tsumugi’s eyes focus. The image seemed familiar. Perhaps he stared a moment too long, because Banri took the book himself and thumbed his way to the marked section, warily sparing a careful glance.

“Hey... you good? You don’t look... normal.” Banri roughly phrased, trying his best to emote like a normal human would. Tsumugi nodded, not convincing anyone he was off. Brushing his sweaty palms upon his jeans, Tsumugi pushed his hair back as he started reciting what he knew of the topic and reviewed the homework, failing to catch Banri’s attentive stare at Tsumugi’s cheap, hole-ridden pants and bag bursting at the seams.

Tsumugi went back on the same train. The people were the same, his schedule was the same. Banri was different today though, paid more attention today despite knowing it already. Maybe he just wanted to get it over with, probably some tournament tonight.

In the face of the orange sunset above the skyscrapers, Tsumugi walked home with a slow, natural pace that fit his time slot he allocated for transportation. The mental reminder allowed him to look up for once, seeing the birds fly together around the quieter part of the city as a golden haze reflected off the glass. Community members said their usual predictable greetings as he waved back, respectfully wishing good health to his elders and telling funny jokes to the youth playing sports. Yet, it didn’t bring him the fulfillment he got before when he was young. Being an adult, was tiring.

It was the same everyday, as Tsumugi left the residential area and climbed through the back alley to a slum part of town. Lights flickered as abandoned businesses creaked amidst the silence. He escaped the prying eyes of neighbors and unlocked the door to his dingy, unsafe apartment. Closing the door quietly, Tsumugi stared at the studio as silence overtook his surroundings. Dust floated in the golden hour as everything was where he exactly left it.

“Welcome home.” Tsumugi whispered, his own voice echoing in between his four walls. Alone, again. It was the same everyday.

Heating up the instant ramen expired in his cupboard, the microwave sparked every once in a while as Tsumugi leaned against the counter. Each surface he touched creaked with uncertainty, as if it didn’t know how long it could last. His one–room housing felt cramped despite the lack of furniture around Tsumugi. His run–down appliances, aged decor, and rising rent made the location even better as Tsumugi did the usual routine of eating half the calories he needed and staying up browsing job listings. This time, the ramen wasn’t as satisfying as the pastry Banri stuffed in his hand before he left.

“What’s this?” Tsumugi remembered asking, immediately feeling sick to his stomach once he saw Banri’s serious expression stare back at him. At the moment, it felt like Banri was his teacher. The sweet, strawberry mochi wrapped in plastic felt warm in his palm as Banri stood at the door of his own home, leading Tsumugi out with a gift.

“Mochi. You’re Japanese, dipshit. Just a thanks, I guess.” Banri bullshitted, rolling his eyes as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. Tsumugi noticed they began to fidget a little bit as Banri tapped his foot against the welcome mat. “School punk named Juza bakes or whatever, has a family business so thought you might like it. Or whatever.” Banri elaborated, using one hand to tug at the already loose v–neck collar of his week old t–shirt. Was that a blush Tsumugi saw on his rather indifferent student? No matter, it wasn’t his business to ask about a troublemaker turned pastry chef.

He’d make sure to thank his student next time he tutored him, which would be (Tsumugi checked the wall calendar disappointedly) next week. Banri was a good kid, even if he had his teenage angsty rebellion phase for a while now. Privileged kids liked doing that, pretending the whole world was against them despite having everything, Tsumugi thought bitterly. Even he was slightly surprised and caught off guard by his own pessimism, before the microwave beeped, signaling its task was done.

When Tsumugi tried to pull open the door, the handle snapped off and a quiet sigh escaped Tsumugi’s lips. Guess no dinner for tonight, then. Tsumugi didn’t have enough fight in him to care, so he dropped the handle onto the counter with a clatter. Inside this studio room, there was nothing for Tsumugi here. Not even his own food.

So, Tsumugi sat down on the couch that groaned beneath his weight. Except, it wasn’t his own body that made his sofa creak—it was the stack of papers needing to be graded in his arms. With a red pen tucked behind his ear, Tsumugi began marking his students’ work. A minute passed before Tsumugi quickly turned the television on, letting the sound of the news distract him from the unbearable loneliness.

Sure, it was going to increase his bills but... the money would be worth it to make his thoughts quiet for a moment. Tsumugi had a job to do, and he wouldn’t let his mindset get in the way. Being an adult was something else, indeed.

When had he fallen asleep?

Tsumugi blinked slowly, finding that his cheek was resting against a substantially smaller stack. Another pile that was distinctly red ink was on the other cushion, the pen without its cap rolled across the carpet. Tsumugi subconsciously winced when he realized the T.V. was on, the same channel on in the background.

Lifting his head, Tsumugi tried to comprehend the visual of the screen through his blurry vision. Tsumugi’s glasses must’ve dropped somewhere; he hoped he didn’t step on them. From what he could hear, the duo of news anchors were animatedly discussing some supernatural phenomenon tonight. Tsumugi rubbed his eyes, leaning closer to the small box screen ahead.

There was no way he possibly heard that correctly. Yet, there it was on the T.V.: “Historical Meteor Shower Tonight!” in big bold letters at the bottom. Tsumugi could remember Banri talking about something like this, but it had occurred last night. Was there another one? How common was it for two meteor showers within a span of mere hours? Sitting up, Tsumugi watched the pair talk about the light show.

“This is said to be the first event of its kind in Japan!” The host exclaimed, the screen switching to a picture of the meteors. A sense of familiarity struck Tsumugi once more, the same feeling when he had seen Banri’s textbook earlier that day. “It’s said to be life–changing—” The other one replied, Tsumugi’s wide eyes focused on every single passing word and image. Could deja vu possibly last this long?

As Tsumugi fumbled for his phone, he made his way out onto his balcony. Something inside him was telling him to get some air as Tsumugi dialed Banri’s number. Before Tsumugi could confirm the call, a bright light appeared out of the corner of his eye.

Tsumugi looked up to see two bright meteors splitting from one another. At the sight, Tsumugi’s phone landed upon the balcony floor.

#tsukioka tsumugi #tsumugi tsukioka #a3! act! addict! actors!#a3!#act! addict! actors!#a3! actor training game #mankai a3!#mankai company #a3! x reader #a3 x reader #tsumugi x reader #a3! tsumugi #a3 tsumugi

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diosefm · 3 years ago

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THE OLD LION

when: very very late, right before the rebel announcement where: the gardens triggers: shitty dads mentions: minos valey, @virgobydcsign @pista-clearmark @deezeeashfrost

DIOSE

She might have completely ruined the only good thing going on with her life, but at least she's got Virgo again. And she feels things are different now. There is now a silent agreement between the two. They're trusting each other now, they're actually acting like siblings. It doesn't matter if their lives are in shambles, because now they know they can both rely on each other. The newly-found softness between has been translated into physical acts. Diose and her sibling sit in the garden, Virgo's head resting on her lap as they exchange whispers and secrets. They mention Blythe, Pista. Silly yet important things. Things they couldn't discuss before. After the chaos that happened inside the main hall, Diose is at peace now. Sort of. But that's quickly ruined as she hears the familiar sound of her father's boots approaching the pair. "Virgo, we have to go."

VIRGO

They didn’t expect this to be so easy. That after everything they could go running after Diose (literally) and things would be okay. That they’re comfortable here, the delicate scent of their sister’s perfume and the way they bind her secrets to their own. Their eyes drift closed as they listen. Tiny details. Sweet, lovely things they never should’ve missed in the first place. Diose’s shift into panic and their instant understanding.

“No.” Virgo stiffens, surprised by their own resolve. They don’t move, their head a solid weight in Diose’s lap. “I think we should stay.” They’re tired of being scared. Shadows cast across their face as Minos comes between them and the light trickling out from the party, almost tempting them to look. Almost. His silence betrays nothing.

DIOSE

Diose has never been scared of her father. When she was younger, the older Valey idolized him, relished on the attention he gave her. While the appearance of Virgo did cause a rift between the two of them, Diose remained his favorite his favorite due to her younger's sibling inability to honor the Valey name despite being the one with actual Valey blood in their veins. As glad as that made Diose at the time, she stopped seeing her father in the same way. And now? She is not scared for her, but for Virgo. So, it's surprising that their younger sibling chooses to not flee and face him instead. Diose knows she can stand her ground when it comes to their father, but has her doubts in regards to Virgo. Still, she is no one to contradict him, so she nods and waits.

Despite his age, Minos Valey stills stands tall and proud. His presence is imposing, able to instill fear in the most powerful of men. Because no one can beat him, they're all below him, he's made it clear. And when he speaks, it's even worse.

"You two ought to be happy now. You've been given everything, you were set up to triumph and you've thrown all of that away in favor of playing stupid, childish games. Was your pathetic display last year not enough for you, Virgo?"

VIRGO

They’d be lying if they said they hadn’t been expecting that. Minos did well to hold his tongue this far with regards to their tragic debut. Granted, he’d made a few comments here and there over dinner, but those events had always had company and their father was cautious. Virgo finds the truth now doesn’t hurt them half as much as it ought to. The thing which does creep under their skin, unsettling what calm they’ve found with Diose, is the expectation. So much pressure to hold up archaic ideals of perfection. Being pitted against each other and then against the world because one arrogant old man believes his legacy trumps all. They didn’t ask for this. Neither of them have ever been given much choice.

“We haven’t thrown anything away.” Virgo cracks an eye, squinting up at their sister. Even now they look to her for guidance. “Feels like half the guests tonight are dressed in Diose, that’s huge. She’s all the style recaps are going to be talking about for weeks.” Okay, that’s maybe not quite true considering the Games really are coming. But they know their point is solid. If they had the guts to, they’d add that Diose’s work is better for the change in her. They see what she’s done for Nelly.

Minos’ expression is unreadable. The art of intimidation is all in the subtleties, the way he angles his chin to look down on the both of them. “What good will that do? After the display you put on for all these esteemed guests?” A weighted pause. “You mean to make a mockery of all I’ve built for you.”

DIOSE

Diose wants to tell Virgo to shut up. They've been dealing with Minos's parenting for longer than they have. They've lived with him, had his eyes follow her everywhere until she decided it was time to flee the nest. She looks down at Virgo and can only shake her head. She's thankful, really. Virgo uses their turn to speak to compliment her, help her appear like she is still flawless and can do no wrong. Maybe Minos saw her that way once, but when Diose looks at him, sees the way her father clenches his fists, she knows how he truly feels.

"Wearing your sister's designs used to mean something. I could hardly hide my disgust when I saw the kind of individuals who dared to don your sister's designs. Rejects, vagrants. People who are not up to our standard, who do not deserve to break bread with us." A pause. "Let alone sit beside you two when the eyes of the Capitol are on you two"

His words sting. They hurt because she knows he is know speaking directly to her. It's a wonder how Diose is able to lift her gaze and look him right in the eye, hand buried in Virgo's hair. "I merely stood up for myself." She does not dare to mention Pista. She doesn't need her father to think of him, have him on his sights. It'll do no good. "Should I have allowed that man to humiliate me? He is nothing but a drunk. I don't understand why you must give him such importance." As much as she hates DeeZee, mentioning his name is not an option either. Pista cares about him, obviously. She'll protect him this one time. Not that his father can't figure out who is who. Diose just wants to direct his attention somewhere else.

"You're pathetic. Both of you are. Pathetic children tainting my hard work, embarrassing me in front of my colleagues. That is not the way we do things, Diose. Discretion is of utmost importance when dealing with vermin."

VIRGO

Virgo may have taken their father’s chastisement with relative ease (at least the won’t think too hard on it until later) but the way he speaks of Diose boils their blood. They think she’s done the right thing in extending her gift to the people they want to call friends. Nelly looks beautiful; Pista is worlds away from toiling over trains. Just because they aren’t Capitol penthouse elite doesn’t mean they shouldn’t get to share in their sister’s perfection. Diose is showing a side of herself they’ve admired for years now, the one she likes to pretend doesn’t exist: true kindness.

“It means more now,” they say, softly. Virgo wishes they’d been bold enough to swallow their anguish and ask Diose to dress them, too. The point doesn’t hit as hard when they’d deflected elsewhere. “Weddings are supposed to be about unity. That’s what Diose is showing, collaborating with the people who worked harder than all of us to be here. Not vermin, victors.”

Virgo wants to cringe at how pretentious, how idealistic, they sound. Words influenced by the low-budget dramas they love so much but can’t quite capture the heroism of. Speeches aren’t their strong suit. They reach up to squeeze Diose’s arm, gentle reassurance that they’re on her side. After all that she’s shared with them they need her to know they’re on her side. No matter what they say, they know neither would get through to Minos alone. Chances they’ll do it together aren’t great either.

”Save your excuses. You ought to know better than to stoop to their level. Don’t you realize the damage you’ve done? It’s clear all those years of education were put to waste if you can’t outsmart that halfwit.”

DIOSE

Diose's night has been absolutely terrible, but she finds solace in the fact that Virgo and her are closer than ever. Still, Diose wants nothing more than to put her hand over Virgo's mouth and keep them from talking. She appreciates their words, she really does, but the last thing both of they need is to provoke their father. Diose knows very well what he is capable of when he is upset and she doesn't want her father to target Pista or Nelly. "He provoked me, and I'm your daughter. Should you not be on my side?" But she knows better than that, knows her father is only on the side or those who are winning. With Diose being the laughingstock of the night, she knows the only support she has right now is Virgo's.

"Unity? The only people that you should be concerned about are your family. Your sister's designs are now almost as worthless as yours. Do you not care about my legacy, or your mother's? I knew she spoiled you too much. You're soft. It's sickening. I won't be on your side nor your sister's when you two are determined to spend your time surrounded by people below us. I've had my eyes on both of you all night. Have you forgotten whose blood runs through your veins? That woman you're with has done nothing but spit on your family's work for years."

She feels her father's insults will sting more now that they're getting personal. Diose is certain she can handle at least some of his poison with the help of her remaining grace and poise, but it's Virgo she is worried about. Father is right, they are softer than any other member of their family.

VIRGO

Their father’s words begin to fall on deaf ears. If they’re being honest, they don’t fully understand the concept of a legacy. They’ve heard the word thrown around so carelessly their entire lives that it’s begun to lose all meaning, absent the ambition they’re sure it’s supposed to ignite in them. With Diose, they can see how someone might pin their hopes on her to make them proud. They don’t give themselves the same credit—and for good reason. All the time and money in the world wasn’t enough for Ma to make them who she wanted them to be, a fact she’s begrudgingly accepted. Virgo isn’t surprised to learn their father can’t handle that.

Virgo’s eyes widen and they push to sitting, angled instinctively toward Diose. As if they’d stand a chance at sparing either of them this lecture. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” they snap. The tangled mess of rage, and pain, and fear they’ve tended since the hijack flares once again. “That’s—it’s— nothing to do with you.”

“Everything you do, either of you, reflects upon my name. There are eyes everywhere, children, do not think that any of your pathetic attempts at stealth render them blind. Money won’t buy their silence forever. What do you think happens when people begin to question why my daughter has been seen cavorting with some middle-district victor? When they question our loyalties?"

DIOSE

Instinctively, Diose grabs Virgo's hands. For support, and in case she needs to squeeze it so let them know it's time to shut up. Their father isn't the one to give up. And the angrier they make him, the worse the consequences will be. As much as she'd like to properly fight the man and get rid of him at once, Diose still needs him. And he is too powerful. And maybe, she is scared, fearful of what the man could do to her since she's not his blood. Both of her parents have always emphasized how powerful Valey blood is and how lucky she is that they rescued her from Ten. She doesn't doubt her father would be quick to turn on her now that his brainwashing has stopped working on her. Virgo is his biological child, which she sees as an advantage over her.

He says eyes are everywhere and Diose feels like throwing up. She knows this, obviously. Both Virgo and her do as they've been confronted with footage of their wrongdoings before. It was easy to deal with it back then just because Pista wasn't involved. Diose can only guess Virgo feels the same way given how protective they've been of their crush for months. "My loyalties are in the right place. Can you say the same, father? You seem to be losing allies while we've gained new ones. Regardless of who they are, you have always said there is strength in number, have you not?" It's a stupidly dangerous reply, but she is tired and won't have him hurt Pista. Her own self is fair game, but he is out of the question.

"Alliance?" An horrid, sarcastic chuckle fills the air. "Clearly your mother didn't do a proper job teaching you where your priorities should be. And you," he turns towards Virgo, eyes filled with rage. "It has everything to do with me. Defy me again and not even your mother will be able to save you from my rage. Neither will your sister or the fools you two have been sharing your time and beds with."

-------------------------------

We are headcanoning the rest because writing that man is exhausting, so bear with us.

Virgo and Diose continue arguing with their father. To give y'all some context, Minos keeps blackmail worthy footage of his kids. He is a producer and in charge of the propaganda you see everywhere, so he is omniscient. He has done this since they were both children and hasn't stopped. If anything, he has more of a reason to keep tabs on them now. He continues berating them about their recent choices and who they let his friends and colleagues see them with. By now it is pretty obvious Blythe and Pista are on his shitlist and he doesn't want them near his children. But do Virgo and Diose care? No.

When he implies he intends knows more than be is letting them know, the Valey siblings rightfully start worrying since if the man has managed to acquire footage of them on the trains, they're fucked. Diose is able to pretend she still has everything under control, but Virgo starts shaking.

Anyway, Minos grabs both Diose and Virgo and drags them towards the main hall. His intention is to take them home so he can fully unleash his fury without anyone seeing him, but Virgo and Diose are saved by the bell. Well, the rebel announcement. Everything is chaos. Virgo completely freezes. It reminds them of past announcements so they don't even react. Thankfully they got Diose who as we know is quick on her feet so she takes advantage of their circumstances, grabs Virgo, and heads straight towards her suite.

The spent the rest of the night having what is probably the most fucked up sleepover party you could ever imagine. Dioses tries her best to comfort Virgo while Virgo tries to fix Diose's cheek but they're both in such a weird state of mind they just stay up talking until they're so exhausted they pass out on Diose's bed.

#sp #in more steph n becky have a severe case of got brainrot news...

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lombredanslaeu · 5 years ago

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pure devotion / part two

▸ werewolf! johnny x human reader

▸ read chapter one here

▸ hey! its finally here. it wasnt my plan to do a part two but y’all wanted to see what happens next so here you go. thank you so much for reading the first chapter! enjoy

recap: werewolves are assigned with a soulmate and once they reach the age of 23, they would find who their soulmate is. you have always been in denial about being in love with your best friend, johnny. as the clock struck 10:34 pm - the exact time johnny was born - that’s when you felt the universe unfold within your veins. you are johnny’s soulmate. it would have been a successful fairy tale but johnny loves you too much to let it happen.

It has been almost a week since you and Johnny last talked. You thanked the universe for not letting you cross paths with Johnny in school. It would be dishonest to say that your heart isn’t breaking each second you’re away from him. You miss him, so much. It’s only been 5 days since his birthday but you just want to run to his house and see him again. Your friends grew suspicious about what happened between you two. It’s always been Y/N and Johnny every hour of every week. Now, it’s just you.

“Okay, Y/N, cut the bullshit,” Your friend, Nayeon, along with Yeri and Jungwoo, sat in front of you, demanding for answers. “What’s going on between you and Johnny?”

You rolled your eyes. You appreciate their concern so much but you knew they were gonna demand every details about your misunderstanding. Nayeon, Yeri, and Jungwoo are vampires. Vampires aren’t assigned a soulmate. They are free to choose who they’ll spend the rest of their lives with. Although they are also close friends with Johnny and your other friends who are werewolves, you are skeptical if they would understand or not.

“We just had an argument during his birthday. No big deal.” You replied.

“Uh? Of course, it’s a big deal.” Yeri started. “First, you and Johnny? Not talking for almost a week? Second, you two arguing during his birthday?”

“It’s hard to explain, guys.” You sighed.

“We have all day, Y/N. You know you can always talk to us.” Jungwoo said. “Besides, I’ve never seen Johnny this down before.”

You decided to share what happened that night. You knew in yourself that this will spread like wildfire to your circle of friends, or even worse, throughout the whole school. It has always been a big deal whenever a werewolf is soulmates with a human. They will be nosy and concerned. You don’t mind attention but you certainly don’t want to be pitied at. Your heart also ached at the mention of Johnny being sad. All your life, you felt like it was your duty to make sure Johnny is happy and healthy. Now, you sure will beat yourself later at the thought of you not being brave enough to confront him.

---

It was only 2:00 pm but you felt so tired. You felt like Atlas took a break from carrying the world and used you as a substitute. Jungwoo suggested to talk to Johnny as soon as possible. You understand that. You know that the only solution to whatever it is that you’re feeling right now is to talk to him. See what both of you can compromise. But, your mind is still a haze. It was your future you’re talking about. Whether you make this decision or that, it will affect the rest of your life. You wished things didn’t have to be this way. For the first time in your life, you wished Johnny didn’t exist.

You went home immediately after your last class. Your mother was shocked to see you come home early. You always went places with Johnny and your friends. Yeri invited you to go vinyl shopping with her and Jaehyun but you just weren’t in the mood to be fake happy.

“You look so down, sweetheart.” Your mother said as she sat across you on the kitchen island.

“Mom, I have to tell you something.” You sighed. You hated making your mother worried. But you knew that sharing this with her will help you somehow, hopefully.

Your mother stared intently at you, waiting for you to say whatever you had to say.

“I’m soulmates with Johnny.” You started. She leaned back on her seat, taken aback from your confession. “Remember last Saturday? During his birthday? We just found out that night.”

“Then, why are you so down?” She asked. “He’s your best friend since forever. I trust him and you trust him.”

“I don’t know, mom,” You felt tears form. “It’s just that - I’m scared. You know how risky it is for humans to be mates with werewolves. Remember Mingyu’s mother? She survived the transformation but she died after giving birth. I want to see the whole world when I’m 80, mom. I don’t want to die so young.”

Your mother hugged you. You knew she didn’t have an answer. She was fortunate enough to not be soulmates with a werewolf.

“You know, sweetheart, I had to give up a lot of things when I decided to marry your dad. I had to give up my wild nights with friends, my freedom of being single, the apartment that I loved so much. I loved these things so much because they made me who I am.” She said. “But you know what? I never missed them. I would trade so many of my yesterdays to have a tomorrow with your father. It was scary at first, I almost ran away during our wedding. But every night he would come up to me and make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, I immediately thanked God I never ran away.”

“That’s sweet and all, mom, but you’re not gonna die if you and dad mate.” You said bitterly through tears.

“I know, sweetheart. I know it’s unfair to you. But, I don’t want you to die without the love of your life on your side. Johnny is a good man. He would fight all of the odds for you and you, out of all the people in this world, should know that.” She said. “Our lives are full of risks. This wont be the only risk that you’ll take during your life.”

Later that night, you stared at the polaroid pictures that are glued on your wall. These were pictures of you, Johnny, and your friends. Your eyes landed on a picture of Johnny with a tub of ice cream. He knew you love ice cream so whenever you feel down, rest assured that he will be on your side with a tub of ice cream. He just knew what to do. It was like he was made to be your perfect fit. Almost immediately, you came into the conclusion that you were willing to risk it for Johnny. You were tired of feeling worried over things that haven’t happened yet.

---

You woke up with a livelier spirit than yesterday. You were still worried of what will Johnny say but the only thing you can do for now is not worry about things that haven’t happened. You decided to give him his favorite yogurt and flower as a peace offering. Today, you are willing to sort things out with him. You couldn’t bear another day with things not okay between you two. Before you left your house, you asked the sky above to give you a sign. You were willing to take whatever sign it gives you.

You entered the lecture hall and noticed that everyone’s mood was gloomy. Your professor, Mrs. Bae, was already in front with a sad frown on her face. Did someone die today? She waited for two more people to arrive before speaking. You were worried that it might be someone from your circle or worse, Johnny.

“We received the news early this morning that one of your classmate, Kim Soohyun, passed away last night.” She spoke. “Let’s give a moment of silence for her, her family, her friends, and her significant other, Choi Hansol.”

Your breath hitched when Mrs. Bae mentioned Hansol as her significant other. Hansol belonged to Johnny’s pack, meaning he is a werewolf. And Soohyun was human. As if on cue, Nayeon whispered to you.

“I heard she died from transformation.” She looked at you with so much worry on her eyes.

Your heart was beating so much and you started to struggle catching up with it. Today was supposed to be the day you agree on being Johnny’s mate. You shouldn’t have asked for a sign. Earlier, you were so sure of your decisions. Now, you weren’t sure if you wanna see Johnny today. Looks like the universe really fucking hates your guts. You were supposed to have your peace of mind. You looked down at the yogurt and flower that you were supposed to give Johnny. You refused to believe that Soohyun’s death was a sign for you to rethink your decision but sooner or later, you found yourself throwing the flower to the nearest garbage bin and eating Johnny’s yogurt.

---

Day by day, you feel your friendship with Johnny deteriorating slowly. Soohyun’s death shouldn’t have affected you so much but for some strange reason, it did.

“You’re really not gonna fix anything by avoiding your problems.” Your friend, Jaehyun spoke beside you. You really shouldn’t be talking to him because you knew as one of Johnny’s closest friend, he would never stop convincing you to talking with Johnny. Jaehyun was also a member of Johnny’s pack. Jaehyun’s father is Johnny’s father’s right hand, meaning he is the beta of the pack. Jaehyun and Johnny are so close to each other, probably much closer than you and Johnny. You knew he would always have Johnny’s back just like you do. So, it doesn’t surprise you if he wanted to fix the problem between you and Johnny.

“How is he?” You asked, genuinely concerned for Johnny.

“To be really honest, I don’t think he can graduate if this problem doesn’t get solved.” He replied. “You probably think that I’m exaggerating this for you to talk to him immediately. Our graduation is just around the corner. If you don’t want to put your future at risk, at least don’t try to put his on a tight rope as well.”

You hated the fact that he was right. You were starting to feel selfish, too cowardly. Johnny was always brave whenever you needed help. It was time you became brave for him.

---

The loud music blasted through the walls of Lucas’ house. Here is where all the college parties are held. Lucas is also one of your closest friends. He’s a human who is dating Wendy, a vampire. Tonight was the farewell party of the graduating class of this year. You weren’t in the mood to come but you knew Johnny was gonna be here since he one of the graduating students.

You decided to get at least a little bit tipsy before you confront Johnny. With the help of your ever-supportive friends, your mind was hazy immediately. It was not a hassle for you to find him in parties. He is either playing beer pong, in the kitchen mixing up drinks with Taeyong, or in the dance floor with the other friends you shared. You spotted him standing quietly near the snacks corner. You know the reason why he isn’t as upbeat as he usually is. You stood next to him and he immediately noticed you. You didn’t know what to do or what to say.

“Hi.” You squeaked out.

“Hey,” He replied, giving you a warm smile. The smile that you fell in love with. You haven’t seen that smile in a while.

“I would give anything to see that smile for the rest of your life” It took you a few seconds to realize that you said that out loud. Damn this cocktail.

“Yeah, nice to see you again too, Y/N,” You noticed how his mood seemed to lit up. He looked down on you. You both haven’t said so much but he knew that things are finally okay. He got the picture.

“So, is this your response about what he learned during my birthday?” He said, lifting his cup to drink whatever is left of the drink.

“Yeah, look. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I put you through hell because I was too much of a coward to talk to you. I’m sorry that I left you all confused and-” Your ranting got cut off when you felt his soft lips against yours. Each movement of his lips signifies his undying love for you. It signifies how he will always forgive you and accept your flaws that annoyed him to the core. It signifies that he wanted you to know that you were his and he was yours, forever. He lead you through the balcony of Lucas’ house, where no one was present.

“I love you,” You said after you pulled away. “I’m willing to risk everything for you. I would trade all my tomorrows for at least a minute with you.”

You didn’t realize that you were crying until he was wiping your cheeks with his thumb. His hands still cups your face as he stares down at you. You were expecting him to say the same but all you saw his head shaking from left to right.

“No,” he whispered. “I love you too, Y/N, so much. I’ve loved you for as long as I could remember. All the nights we spent tangled up in each other and telling one another how we’re just friends. All the make out session we had in the back of my car. The best of times, the worst of times. I’ve loved you through it all. But I can’t do this to you, Y/N. You deserve to live the best life you’ve set up for yourself until you grow old and wrinkly.”

You stared at him, tears flowing from your eyes. He hated seeing you cry. He could kill anyone or anything that made you cry. “You can do this with me, Johnny. If I die, at least I die by your side. I will die knowing that you made me yours. And to the die by your side is the perfect way I could die.”

He continued shaking his head, his own tears staining his flawless skin. “We don’t have to transform you.”

“But you need an heir. You need an offspring to be the next alpha after you.” You replied. “And I want to give that to you.”

“God knows how much I want to start a family with you too.” He said.

“Then, what’s stopping you, Johnny?” You asked him. You were so desperate to leave this party with you and Johnny being okay.

“I love you. That’s what’s stopping me.” He responded. The effects of the alcohol was slowly leaving your system. You were growing tired of this fight. You were never a patient woman but you pushed through just to make this right.

You remained in silence, looking up at the starry night. You asked the sky for one more sign. If only the answer to everything was written in the sky, you would have it all by now. But life doesn’t work that way. Sometimes, you have to ruin yourself to find the answer.

“I accepted a job offer in the city today. I leave in 2 days.” He said all of sudden. There. There was your sign. You sighed and look at him, with pride and sadness. You were so proud of him. You saw him struggle with college and now he immediately has a job in the city. But you were also sad. He accepted it without even talking to you - his best friend, and his soulmate. You couldn’t blame him. He probably wanted to get away from you after everything.

---

Johnny leaves for the city tomorrow morning. You have wallowed in self-pity the whole day. You looked at yourself in the mirror and saw how wrecked you looked. If only you fixed this as soon as possible, he probably wouldn’t leave. You scratched that thought out of your head. That was selfish. Johnny pushed aside his feeling for you so that you could have your dream. It’s time for you to stop being selfish and let him have his. You decided you wanted to see him before he left. This will probably the last time you will see each other so you were determined to fix the broken bond between you two.

You arrived at his house after a few minutes. His house wasn’t far from yours. The moment he opened his door, you attached your lips into his. You kissed him as if you’re begging for him to not leave you. He lead you both to his room and locked the door.

He kissed you first on the lips and soon, he traveled down your neck. The back of your needs hit the edge of his bed and he gently laid you down on it. It’s been a while since the last time you slept together. You weren’t planning on sleeping with him tonight but you wanted to make sure his last night with you was worth it.

It took an hour for the both of you to finish making love. Your head laid on his chest as your limbs tangled upon each other.

“You’re leaving tomorrow.” You announced.

“Yep,” He responded. His fingers drew relaxing figures on your bare back. “Okay.”

You looked up at him, confusion written on your face. What did he mean by “okay”?

Sensing your inquiring stare, he responded, “I can’t accept a life wherein I don’t get to hold you every night.”

He sat up on the edge of his bed, the moonlight that shone through his window lighted up his face. You followed, resting your chin on his shoulder as your arms wrapped around his body savoring the last moments before he leaves for the city.

“Find me immediately after you design a house, a building, something.” He said with conviction, staring deeply into your eyes as if wanting you to memorize what he is saying. “Find me immediately. I will wait for you. Even if it takes a couple more years.”

You felt tears streaming down your cheeks. You love him so much. You would take any compromise only if it means being with him in the end. You nodded, pressing a kiss on his shoulder.

“No other love, except me.” He stated.

“No other love, only you.” You said.

a/n: i hope you enjoyed this! as always, feedback and requests are always welcome.

#johnny suh #johnny seo #johnny x reader #johnny imagines #nct johnny #seo youngho #johnny angst #johnny fluff #johnny scenarios #johnny drabbles #nct 127

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