#i was thinking of going through the extras and 6 cast but this post is long enough

[dazed-and-confused23]

Dear Hearts and Gentle People 6

Summary: There is only so much you can do for Cooper when the two of you are attacked, and the extra vials you carry are crushed. There is only so much you can do when Cooper’s stash runs out. The wasteland takes as much as much it gives.

Pairings: The Ghoul | Cooper Howard x Female Reader

Warnings. Pretty angst filled here. Plus some kissing.

Masterlist

Part 2 -> HERE

It's been a week, give or take a couple of hours, since the group of raiders had jumped Cooper and his trader. They'd been wandering through some ruins, sightseeing as you liked to call it, when they began to crawl out of the burnt out buildings like ants. You and Cooper had worked like a well-oiled machine, but that still didn't mean that either of you was perfect.

One of the raiders had gotten the drop on you, literally flinging herself from the second flood of a building and slamming into your back, and in turn, your backpack that carried your wares inside. You thrashed about, jerking back and crushing the woman against the concrete wall, trying to shake her off. You smacked her again against the wall, and finally, she lost her grip and fell to the floor.

Cooper had shot the raider before she had time to get up, gore splattering the wall, and then the fight was back on. The two of you were exhausted by the time the fighting was done, and after a bit of well deserved looting, Coop had made a small fire in one of the more preserved buildings and you began to sort through your wares.

While the ghoul sucked down a vial, you had found the crushed medical case, heart shattering when you'd opened it to reveal your sizeable stash of chems destroyed. Fear had gripped your heart, and you shifted through your shattered stockpile and found a single surviving tube.

You'd looked at your ghoul, who looked relaxed across the campfire. The two of you were deep in the wasteland. At least a two week journey to the next town, and it would be a gamble if they sold the chems Cooper would need. You'd swallowed harshly and called his name, voice cracking.

"Cooper. We've got a problem."

His gaze had sharpened, his eyes skating over your form and looking for any kind of injury. When he found nothing, he raised a brow, confused, but still weary of your fearful expression.

"What's wrong, Darlin'. You look right as rain to me," He rasped and reached for his canteen, taking a swig of water that he immediately choked on when you lifted up the single vial. He stands and crosses the fire, crouching down and shifting through the broken glass himself.

"When did this happen?" He demands, and you cast your mind back, thinking hard.

"That one raider. She jumped on my back. They were probably crushed in the fight," you say and hand him the surviving vial, "That's the only one I found."

Rage and fear war within his chest, and Cooper stands, kicking a rock as hard as he could, a snarl on his lips, "Fuck!"

Now, a week later, Cooper hardly had the strength to move. The caughing had started two days ago after he'd sucked down the last chem. He lagged behind you, shoulders drooping and hat covering much of his face as he focused on putting one boot in front of the other. The clinking of his spurs was your only comfort.

Another two days passed, and Cooper couldn't go on. His strength sapped from his bones as he lay across from you, posted up on an old bed in a dusty motel. You kneeled by his side, fingertips tracing his jaw and up his cheekbones. You sniffled heavily, and then leaned in to kiss his brow.

"Ain't gotta go cryin' over me, Darlin'," Cooper murmured and closed his eyes, wishing that he could feel the press of your lips against his flesh better. A tickle licked his throat, and he turned away from you to hack, spit flying and a wheeze echoing through the room when he flopped back in the bed.

You ignore his words and fish out a bottle of water to hand him. You watch, concern coating your features as he hand trembles, and Cooper ends up splashing himself. You hold it steady after he sighs heavily and hands the bottle back.

"Promise me that you'll still be here when I get back," you say after you've taken the water back and stowed it away. You've got a plan, and you'll be much faster by yourself, now it was the hard part, and that was leaving Cooper behind.

Your ghoul sighs and gives you a look. Coop thinks that the two of you have had a good run, and if this is how he's gotta go, then so be it. He just hates that the last thing he'll see is you crying.

"Baby girl. I can't make you a promise I can't keep," He rumbles and forces himself to sit up, giving his girl a weary grin and taking your hands in his own. He presses his lips to your knuckles, one at a time, "You can't let some old man like me slow you down."

You force back the tears that threaten to fall. Coop never liked it when you cried, and you would do your best not to now. You would save this stubborn bastard if it was the last thing you did. Using his hold on you, you tug him down and in for a kiss, so sweet and full of love that the ghoul's clutches you back before he has to pull away and cough harshly.

"I'll be back before you know it, Cowpoke," you say, and at this point, you don't know if it's to assure him or you. You push yourself to your feet and fix your pack, bending to kiss Cooper one last time, memorizing the rough feel of his lips against yours.

Cooper pushes you away after a moment, a fond smirk playing on his lips, "Get outta here, cowgirl. I'll stay right here."

You give a decisive nod and then march away from him, exiting the motel and starting in the direction of the closest town. You had a ghoul to save.

[dramalove247]

Post nine gifs of your favorite characters and let people guess your type.

Then tag nine more people to do the same 😁

Wanna play along and not tagged? Do it! Just tag us so we can see your answers!!!

Oh this is FUN! It's our first time participating in a tag game. Thanks @hughungrybear for inviting us to play along!

Since there are two of us, we are going to color code this post and both participate. For this post, 🐈 Kat's answers will be PURPLE and 🐠 Dori will be GREEN.

Let's Go!

It was HARD to come up with answers, and we reserve the right to change our minds tomorrow! 🤣 Here are our favorite characters in no particular order:

1.

Faifa from Perfect 10 Liners

Kuea from Cutie Pie

2.

Johan from Fourever You

Bison from The Heart Killers

3.

Joke from Jack & Joker (by a hair, a hair I tell you! A thin one!)

Jack and Joke from Jack & Joker (I know it's technically two people, but I can't pick)

4.

Payu from Love in the Air

Namping from Every You, Every Me (thank GAWD this was only 2 episodes because I barely survived)

5.

Ming from My Stand-In

Ming from My Stand-In

6.

Cake from My Only 12%

Seeiw from My Only 12%

7.

Po from ThamePo (honorable mentions: THE ENTIRE CAST)

Ko Yeong from Love In The Big City

8.

Tian from Tale of a 1000 Stars

Khai from Theory of Love

9.

Dongfang Qing Cang from Love Between Fairy and Devil

EVERY character in Begins Youth (I'm not picking and you can't make me)

Decided to let tumblr pick the 9 people to tag and play if you feel like it😁: @heretherebedork @respectthepetty @babyangelsky @nabi-unveiled @lurkingshan @anpanman95 @ppeonppeonhan @tortibomb @mamuljjukrapao

Editing to add our type for anyone interested :)

We 100% spent way too much time overthinking this, but it was SO fun and we've loved seeing everyone's lists! Thanks to everyone for playing along with us!

🐈 Kat

What was my theme again this week? Just kidding, I watched P10L today so I'm full-up on Faifa love and dreamy sighs this morning. I came to this asking myself "What characters took up residence in my head and made me obsess over them for awhile?" Even then it was hard to narrow it down, and some of my choices were all over the place. A common theme I appreciate is what made up this list. Drum roll please: I love a character who is all in supporting/loving/taking care of their partner. Sometimes I like them soft and fluffy like Faifa, sometimes I like them a little toxic and crazy, extra points if they rock some delicious daddy dom energy. (Sprinkle in some delicious angst and pain and I am ALL IN.) I can think of a lot of characters who COULD have made this list based off the theme, many are characters I liked from series I enjoyed. But, if they're going to take up residence in my head, they have to have a little something extra that sets them apart from the crowd, a special ingredient that makes me obsess over them. Each of the characters in my list has that something extra. I won't bore y'all with the details here, but if anyone wants to know what makes me love any of these characters in particular or just to squee together, I'm happy to talk all day about my favorites in another post.

🐠 Dori

My favorite characters are ones that make me live their pain. I love when characters bring me along for their emotional journey. But these characters caused me wounds that need to heal, only to eventually scar and become part of me. That isn't to say that characters that hurt me are the only characters I love an unhealthy amount, but they are the ones I spend WAY too much time thinking about and can't forget.

Although I definitely enjoy some angst and pain, I really don't like being hurt too badly and need a happy ending. I don't want to end up ugly crying with a face full of tears and snot! Some of these characters did me real dirty and can not be forgiven for what they put me through! Looking at you Jack & Joke, Namping, Ko Yeong, and EVERYONE in Begins Youth!

Also, when putting together this list, I made myself a rule that I couldn't pick multiple characters from the same show. I mostly followed this rule, with a couple exceptions... I couldn't let 7 of the 9 be characters from Begins Youth! I lived in the pain of that show for WEEKS! Fadel lost by a hair to Bison. Fadel hurt me longer and gave me way more wounds, and part of me loves him more. But another part of me is still on the freaking beach with Bison asking Kant if he's fooling him again! That single moment cut me deep. And I had originally picked Third from Theory of Love because there was so much pain there. But I found myself stuck in that train station with Khai, his quiet and accepting tears, blaming no one for his pain and loneliness other than himself. I went through similar process with all the people that made it on this list. These are some of the characters I have spent the most time thinking about and living in their pain.

🎉 @nabi-unveiled was spot on pinning down Kat's list and was got the main idea guessing Dori's! 🥰

[pekoehoneyncream]

Ghoaptober # 6

Prompt: Meal/Food

Words: 1000~

TW: None (sfw)

This version of Ghoaptober was created by @spadesandshovels

I gave you short and sad yesterday, but today you get short and sweet!

I don't know if y'all have seen that video of the soldiers getting yelled at for ordering pizza delivered to their camp, or that post about the lady that grew up way out in the country and only got ice-cream from a truck when it got very very lost. but this entry is inspired by both of those.

Enjoy!

Soap was slumped into the couch in the officer’s recreation room, watching Gaz swear at the telly as he ran his horse into the train for the umpteenth time and had to restart the mission again. Between Gaz fervently damning all of John Marston’s ancestors and the secondhand xbox 360 doing its best impression of an overboiling pot, the sounds of an escalating commotion beyond the door was almost completely negligible, and Soap was willing to play deaf to the few shouts that eked their way in. 

What he couldn’t ignore was Price busting in through the door muttering about idiotic fools. Now Price muttering to himself was perfectly normal, par for the course, nothing to take note of, what was decidedly abnormal was the Fab ice lolly that was dripping over his fingers while he did it. 

“Cap?” Soap’s vaguely disturbed truncated question stole Gaz’s attention away from shooting the train goers and, upon turning around, he too was immediately captivated by the incongruent sight of Captain John Price glaring at them while struggling to contain a rapidly liquifying lolly. 

“While on gate duty, Private Johnson dared Private Gilligan to stop an ice-cream van that was going by and the fucker actually did it. The front’s a madhouse.” Price reluctantly gruffed out to the two goggle eyed Sergeants staring him down. 

In the next moment Price was alone in the room with a screen heralding 'DEAD' in bold red letters. 

Gaz and Soap shoved at each other as they raced through the halls to the front of the base, joining a crush of other like minded soldiers. True to Price’s word the front gates were pure mayhem, save for the strangely orderly queue leading up to the Mr Softee van proper. Every soul with any kind of rank was abusing it to their best advantage to force every other unlucky sod to stand down and move back in the queue. Soap and Gaz were in luck as talking to the older lady leaning out of the van’s window was Warrant Officer Evans. The Sergeants sidled up to the queue and followed their fellow’s leads by staring down Corporal Winslow until she obediently let them cut in front of her. Evans walked away from the van with a cherry screwball and the Sergeants stepped up to the window.

“I’ve only one cone left, lads,” The woman running the van warned them, leaning down and speaking up to be heard over the orderly chaos behind them and the tinny repeating jingle blaring from the top of the van, Gaz shot a possessive look at Soap and the Scot waved him on.

“Could I get a ninety-nine flake, please?”  Gaz got a smile for his nice manners and the woman turned to Soap,

“And for you, Lovie?” Her voice was kindly, but blunt with a no-nonsense manner,

“Ah’ll ha’e an oyster delight, an’ a strawberry swirl wi’ caramel sauce in a doubled cup wi’ an extra spoon, please.” Soap answered, feeling like he now knew why the van’s queue was so orderly. Likely the woman, Florence, her name tag read, had just refused to serve anyone that hadn’t politely queued up. 

“Lovely,” Florence bustled about in the van, handing the treats out the window as she finished them, “That’ll be nine pound fifty,”

Before Soap could think through how best to juggle his ice-creams into one hand to dig his wallet out of his pockets, Gaz had already paid and casually walked away, licking at his cone and casting smug looks back at Soap as he scrambled to catch up. 

“Ye didnae ha’e tae pay, Ky,” Soap complained, “Ah’ve mah own money,”

“Then be faster, Tav,” Gaz teased, “I’m a tenner poorer now, I’ll be out on the streets by Monday, livin’ out of a box.” 

“Get tae fuck, ye loony. Least ye’d ha’e y’ur own room” Soap laughed,

“You’ve a good point," Gaz nodded along, "Could be worse. Could be shared barracks,”

Soap felt something cold slither over his fingers and picked up his pace with a curse, the ice-cream was melting in sticky trails over the sides of its wrappings.

Why did the running track have to be so far away. 

With Gaz jogging amiably along in his wake, Soap hustled over to where Ghost was shouting constructive abuse at the rookies panting their way around the course.

“L.T! Ah got ye some’hing,” Soap smiled as Ghost’s lovely calf brown eyes swung their glare unto him, passing over the oyster delight and peaceably ignoring his Lieutenant’s unchanged expression of flat ire. 

He pulled the extra cup off the bottom of his and extracted the second spoon from his strawberry swirl, popping it into his mouth to clean the taint of caramel off it, then handing both over to Ghost. 

Ghost extracted his oyster delight from the napkins mummifying it and dumped it into the bowl, stabbing the oddly flat spoon through an edge to make sure the utensil wouldn't fall out while he one handedly rolled his balaclava up past his nose. All this being accomplished in an unwavering deadpan manner. 

Soap watched Ghost take his first spoonful of ice-cream, then started in on his own. Getting a kick out of the grabbag of baffled, jealous, or resigned expressions that warped the rookies faces as they paced by them and caught sight of their superiour’s new preoccupation. He knew that it would take Ghost a good ten minutes to finish his treat, his teeth too sensitive to the cold to eat it any faster. Unlike Gaz, who had scarfed his and was now panting his way through a self-inflicted ice-cream headache. 

“Thanks, Johnny.” Ghost’s quiet rumble whipped Soap’s attention away from Sideshow Garrick and the Scot beamed up at him.

“O’ course L.T! Was nae bother, dinnae fash yersel’,” Soap assured with a smile, bumping his shoulder against Ghost’s, 

“Of course it wasn’t a bother,” Gaz griped, “I paid for it!”

Ghost raised an eyebrow at Gaz, then faced front again repeating, “Thanks, Johnny,” in the flattest tone he could manage. Carefully hiding the smile that hooked at the corners of his mouth when Gaz’s exaggerated spluttering sent Johnny cackling.

Thank You for Reading!

This one also required an absurd amount of research as I tried to figure out what the hell British ice-cream trucks could feasibly sell, and if scots have some slang word for them, they do. They apparently call an ice-cream cone a 'pokey hat'. A delightful discovery that I had to share as it didn't make it into the story.

PekoeHoneynCream's Masterlist

[accirax]

hey everybody! wanted to make a quick post to say that, due to various holiday shenanigans, i'm not sure how quickly i'll be able to get through the entirety of P:EG chapter 1. i really don't want to be spoiled, so i'll obviously be blocking the tag, but i also ask that nobody send me any asks related to the chapter until i'm done experiencing it! i'll probably either make an initial thoughts-y type post once i'm done, or reblog this post/someone else's art when that's the case. thank you :)

with that out of the way...

LAST MINUTE PREDICTIONS GAME JUMPSCARE!!! small explanatory blurbs under the cut :D

before i get into any of the individual selections: the third victim scenario. the basic formula of the predictions game requires that Chapter 3 contain two victims. however, even though i can't find the source, i'm 99% sure i've heard that Team: Eden's Garden (T:EG, if you will) has confirmed that they won't be following along with typical murder "tropes" such as the Chapter 3 double kill or Chapter 4's buff curse. therefore, Venus and i decided that, for P:EG specifically, we would not have two victims, and instead create an extra survivor slot. consider it a bonus rule applied in advance.

of course, the "fact" that there won't be two Chapter 3 victims doesn't mean that T:EG isn't planning to have multiple victims in a different chapter. however, if that's the case, we'll figure it out later. if anyone wants to play against Venus and I, do whatever you like ^_^

anyways!

Toshiko in the role of Chapter 1 Victim

this was obviously inspired by the fact that Toshiko isn't at all visible in the Trial portion of the Chapter 1 trailer. that feels to hint at her absence too obviously, but, does it...?

i'm really torn on whether i think the Ch1 victim will be her or not. on one hand, i think that Toshiko is a really unique and cool character concept that i hope T:EG has the opportunity to do more with. she was one of the characters that got the most focus in (the introductions part of) the Prologue, which might indicate that they're setting her up as a major player in the story.

however, it also tracks that one of the characters who got the most focus in the Prologue would then become the first victim, as the Prologue would be one of the best opportunities with which to give them focus. on the surface, it seems a bit random that they would make her so much younger than everyone else for just a role as the first victim, but it could be intentional. for instance, if the idea behind her character's creation was "what kind of first victim would make Wolfgang become the most aggro?", suddenly it becomes viable.

i swear, the P:EG cast is made up of half high variance characters (will either go super-Ch1-early or super-Ch5/6-late) and half characters that are definitely gonna die in the middle somewhere, but i don't really care where. the high variance characters are way more scary, because getting the coin flip wrong can land you with a bunch of points :( i totally think Toshiko has the potential to go far, which is why listing her first freaks me out.

what i will say is that, if Toshiko is the first victim, i think it's actually a good sign as to the quality of P:EG's writing. if even their first victim is as intriguing and clearly delineated as Toshiko, we're in for a good time!

Jean in the role of Chapter 1 Killer

at this point, i'm believing that Jean is the Chapter 1 killer (as per my theory) until canon proves me otherwise. which, actually, could be very soon‼

Venus and i just replayed the Prologue in order to fully refresh ourselves on the plot and characters before playing Chapter 1, and genuinely, nothing about what Jean did made me think that he wouldn't be the Chapter 1 killer. not to say that i'll be flabbergasted if i'm wrong, just that the theory holds up better than i thought through my admittedly biased lenses.

no idea where Jean goes if he's not Ch1 killer, also. we'll cross that bridge if/when we get to it!

Desmond in the role of Chapter 2 Victim

full transparency, this is probably the assignment on this sheet i feel worst about. Desmond was one of the last three people i placed, alongside Toshiko and Wenona. my initial vibe check would say that Desmond makes it further than this, more Ch4 or 5-ish.

however, i don't hate this placement. Desmond still hasn't totally clicked for me, and while i think that means his content might be back-loaded in the later chapters, it could also just be that he's not too important. i do like the allure of one weaponsmaster (Desmond) being taken out by another weaponsmaster (Eloise), and think that could be a fun Ch2-level puzzle. Desmond and Eloise also seem to have some sort of relevant relationship with one another, given how they were more-or-less introduced together and how, in the new main title sequence, Desmond's ammo shoots into Eloise. maybe that means they could be a killer/victim pair?

sorry, shippers.

Eloise in the role of Chapter 2 Killer

if anyone is wondering why i'm always calling Eloise that Chapter 2 killer, it's honestly more based on a meme/inside joke than anything at this point. however, that's not to say it has no basis in what i actually believe.

when Venus and i played the Prologue for the first time, we both individually got the strong vibes that Eloise would be, specifically the Chapter 2 killer. she seems fainthearted enough to crack under the pressure of the killing game, but sweet enough to be an appropriately surprising twist when it's revealed that she would kill. she has three separate instances of mentioning that she misses her family (her introduction, the investigation, and after the Class Trial) because you have to set up that early killer's motivation early. and, even if she doesn't use her swordswoman skills to carry out the murder, she has the strength and dexterity to take someone out, as well as directly telling us that she's very strategic and calculated.

ever since, we've joked to each other that Eloise is all but confirmed as the Chapter 2 killer. so, no matter what canon says, Eloise is my Chapter 2 killer <3 (/j)

Jett in the role of Chapter 3 Victim

Jett has big Chapter 3 oddball death energy to me. i think that one of him and Mark will probably survive, but, it could go the other way around! replaying the Prologue, he honestly had way more knowledge about horror and haunted houses than i remembered, which could make him a handy ally throughout the killing game instead. i just can't help but fear that Jett is too silly to live. so, my gut instinct is that Jett will die midgame to allow Mark to come out of his shell a bit afterwards.

Ingrid in the role of Chapter 3 Killer

i initially had Ingrid in the Chapter 3 victim slot before i moved Jett there instead. with Jett, i feel fairly confident that he isn't the type to kill anyone, whereas with Ingrid, i wasn't so sure. i just think that Ingrid has Chapter 3 death energy. i think it's the unique blend of sillyness (such that she wouldn't make it farther) and seriousness (such that she can be taken seriously for three chapters and believed as a killer) with which her character is handled that makes me think so?

she does seem to play by her own rules when it comes to blacksmithing, which could lead to her prioritizing her own belief and needs above the group's sometime down the line. Ingrid is 100% one of those characters who i believe will die in one of those middling chapters, so i don't think i'll score too high with her here no matter what.

Ulysses in the role of Chapter 4 Victim

perhaps if i were a smarter theorist, i'd continue listening to myself of the past and write Ulysses down as the mastermind of P:EG. however, i still just can't shake the feeling that he's important enough of a character to take on that role. not to say that Ulysses is a bad character, just that he feels more like one of the minor characters in the story to me. the only time he was of any particular importance in the Prologue was during his introduction, and i have no clue who his most important character relationship is supposed to be with. the only other character for which i believe this to be true is Ingrid (although, even she was one of the characters who got to participate in the investigation, and got to scold Damon at the end), and, well... you've already seen my thoughts on her. i can't help but feel that a character set up to be so important and late game would already be solidifying some important relationships, or at least bringing some comedy or specific insight to the table.

there's also his note-taking habit, which i believe i've said before totally feels like a victim gimmick to me. deciphering the notes Ulysses left to himself about where he went, who he talked to, what he'd been eating, etc definitely feels like something that would be used to create a unique murder case, with him as the victim. if not Chapter 4, then maybe Chapter 2?

Chapter 2 victim, Chapter 4 victim, or mastermind. what a weird space Ulysses exists in.

Wenona in the role of Chapter 4 Killer

hey, it's the third person i was struggling with.

i don't really know what to do with Wenona. she kinda gives me killer vibes, but that seems too obvious? she also kinda gives me late(r) game vibes, which is probably how she wound up in this late-game killer spot.

sorry, i don't have much to say here. hopefully this doesn't blow up in my face, lol.

Diana in the role of Chapter 5 Victim, Wolfgang in the role of Chapter 5 Killer, Eva in the role of Survivor (and also Damon in the role of Survivor)

quadruple combo!!! allow me to share that incredibly specific scenario i've been cooking up (that i really like) which puts these characters in these spots.

firstly, Diana, and her obvious mastermind-coding. the mastermind-coding is so obvious that it has to go somewhere, right? naturally, it could just result in her being the mastermind, but then i'm not sure why they would be so heavy-handed with it. therefore, i re-propose an idea i've discussed before: someone kills Diana because they think she's the mastermind.

in that case, this person is Wolfgang. the man hates killers and injustices, and believes himself to be a good judge of what's right and wrong. therefore, if he believed he had sights on the mastermind, i believe he could be willing to take a shot at them. of course, in this case, he would fail.

therefore, in the Class Trial, he needs to create a cover for himself. what better course of action than to weaponize his ethos as the Ultimate Lawyer to direct suspicions at the easiest scapegoat, the literal Ultimate Liar?

meanwhile, while Damon clearly has a lot to work through in terms of character arcs, one task on his checklist is surely to make friends. everything about the marketing of this game really makes it seem like Damon and Eva are the core relationship around which the whole story is based. they're Eve and the snake, the Debater and the Liar, and the only two who see through Wolfgang's BS from the beginning. thematically, i think Damon needs a support-type character to survive alongside him, to contrast against his initial lonely elitism. the game seemingly wants us to root for this protagonistic duo to have a happy ending-- and it might be a setup to get us to fight for their survival with all our might.

my vision is that the final Class Trial is where Damon has to put all of his character development to the test, to fully let his Ultimate Debater talent shine as he argues against the Ultimate Lawyer to prove that the Ultimate Liar is telling the truth in her innocence. it's a great setup because, although one might complain about how obvious it would be that Wolfgang would be the killer in this situation, it doesn't matter, because even if you figure out that Wolfgang did it, you still get the catharsis of kicking his ass. and as a bonus, we'd get to reap the benefits of the main antagonist actually getting to be the Chapter 5 killer, instead of circling around it without ever getting to hit the target.

Damon learns to argue for his friends instead of against his enemies, Eva learns that there are people out there who will trust her even when she's been called a liar, and Wolfgang has to reap the consequences of letting his own perceived intellectual superiority lead him to becoming the thing he hates most: a sadistic man who kills an innocent little girl. the end!

i know this idea goes against what i've been promoting-- AKA, a "more interesting" fangan where the authors are willing to kill off their stereotypical antag and support early in favor of surprising the audience with more unique antag and support choices. however, just because i've been asking for that doesn't mean that i actually think it's going to happen, lol. P:EG seems like a fangan to me that's deeply rooted in the Danganronpa classics (even if they won't do Ch3 double kill or Ch4 buff curse), which makes sense from a creative team that isn't otherwise active in the fangan scene, and therefore hasn't considering some of its wackier expeditions. however, as long as they manage to do something fresh with their somewhat stereotypical build, i'll still be happy.

oh, and i've always believed that Damon will be the protagonist for the entire game. he just seems so well-crafted to mirror the main themes and motifs of the story that i'm not sure what the team would gain from killing him off so early (other than the excitement of a protag swap).

Kai in the role of Survivor

um, it's the knowledge that some of the staff members ship kaimon, honestly. to me, that indicates that Kai will have an important relationship with Damon sometime down the line, likely that expands beyond Chapter 1. and, as a high variance character (to me), if you're gonna let the guy make it past Chapter 1, you might as well just let him live, right?

that being said, i do see a path to Kai dying midgame depending on how hard they lean into the "dictatorial influencer" thing. if he becomes more of a villain, i could see him going in Ch3 or 4. i do think he has good setup for a character arc, though, going from not caring about the killing game to actually putting in some effort, and think his humor and patheticness could be a good balancer in a surviving cast. i feel pretty good about this one!

Mark in the role of Survivor

again, you could trade this with Jett; i'm reserving this slot for one of them. i think Mark makes more sense as a survivor because i think that the "my best friend died but i live on" arc makes more sense on him than it does on Jett. for Jett, it would bum him out, sure, but i don't see the connection to his likely character struggles of self image and shame (as implied by his character intro sheet).

meanwhile, Mark's introversion currently appears to be his greatest hurdle, and having to continue on after his only friend dies would echo his arc of needing to open up to others and be positive even when the situation seems dire. plus, having Mark be the one who initially wasn't as interested in talking to Jett is good setup for Mark regretting not talking to Jett more when he had the chance.

Grace in the role of Survivor

i think a lot of people actually don't predict that Grace will survive, which was surprising to me, because she's always given me survivor energy. after Damon, Eva, and Wolfgang (not necessarily in that order), she definitely seemed to be the fourth most important character of the Prologue in a way that, to me, implied longevity.

Grace has a lot going on for her. she's always yelling and fighting with everyone, whether that be students she dislikes, the old men of her profession, or even Tozu himself. That already establishes her with potential (negative) relationships with a lot of people, further elevating her importance. also, she's really unlikable (/pos). this gives her insane character arc potential. why would they make a character that brash and aggravating if they didn't have plans to eventually let her change in some meaningful way?

furthermore, Grace was, surprisingly, one of the few characters to actually provide a new, correct argument in the Prologue Class Trial (she's the one who gets the students thinking about the bleach being in a bucket above the door). that may mean that she's smarter than she appears. might be relevant if she continues to hang around Wolfgang, which seems inevitable. she's a really good contrast to him-- someone who has the same sort of passionate fury that he does, but none of the social tact to prevent her from screaming her beliefs in people's faces. if Wolfgang is around for the long haul, i think Grace will be there with him.

... i'm really excited to learn more about Grace in the Prologue, because i feel i've made a lot of assumptions about her that are possibly unfounded, lol.

Cassidy in the role of Mastermind

Diana or Ulysses or Eva or whatever probably makes more sense, but this is my predictions sheet, so I operate off of my vibe check, yippee!!!

ignore everyone who believes that she's the Chapter 1 victim via visibility! ignore everyone who thinks she's too dumb and comic relief-y to pull off a killing game! ignore the eyebrow-raising logistics of why T:EG would give Cassidy an enemy in Wenona/make Cassidy a communist when that doesn't really make any sense with her being the mastermind! i reap the follies of my OWN poor decision making!!!!!! (/j)

... why am i even putting Cassidy as the mastermind after writing all that, you ask? uh, read my old mastermind ranking theory, idk.

okay that's all :) be back after i finish the chapter!!!

[flickrrposts]

Flug is Going to Lose an Arm - Theory

I'm not quite a theorizer, but with Villainous now in the US, I was rewatching season 1A when I noticed something I thought might be worth mentioning.

It's pretty common for cartoons to casually tell the audience major spoilers to the series in a discreet way that flies over the audiences' heads. (i.e. Ducktective in Gravity Falls, or the Cookie Cat song in the first episode of Steven Universe)

So when V.I.R.U.S. listed the spoilers for Código Guajolote at the end of episode 4, I wrote each of them down in case they became important later in the series.

@paper-gold-theories has a post going through each of the spoilers V.I.R.U.S. lists, where they draw a clear parallel between Flug and the character Macias from the show. (So go check out their observations!! Their theory on the "10-year-war" is great!)

One of the spoilers regarding Macias was that Macias "Has no arms."

So personally, I had the thought that Flug would lose an arm at some point, but didn't think about it much at the time, and just added it to a list of "cool fanart/edit ideas".

But later I was going through old saved photos, when I found this livestream sketch of animatronic-versions of the main cast (featuring Demencia ripping off animatronic-Flug's arm):

(Source: This post from @nightfurmoon)

Later, I was rewatching the orientation videos, and Black Hat jokes about ripping off Flug's arm at 6:06 (although, keep in mind that this is in response to what was occurring in the clip he's reacting to).

(link + english fan-sub)

And then, this one's a long shot, but in episode 6, Flug winds up finding an extra detached arm of his as a bit of dark humor (at about 2:11).

This one's definitely reaching, but it's another example of a dismembered Flug-arm, and thought it was worth bringing up.

These could all be coincidences, but I thought it was a cool concept to share none-the-less.

[starcrossed591]

CDrama Year in Review 2023

I'm still very much a CDrama beginner--I just started watching them in the summer of 2022--but since this is the first year I got into them in earnest, I figured I might as well do a year in review a la @dangermousie (whose lists I have found incredibly helpful in deciding which CDramas I really, really need to go back and watch as part of my CDrama education--so thank you!). So, without further adieu, here is my ranking of 2023 CDramas, in order of least enjoyed to most enjoyed*.

(See also: KDrama Year in Review 2023)

*Disclaimer: *not* a measure of objective quality

10. Royal Rumours: This drama was not great? Meng Zi Yi and Jeremy Tsui were fun, but the story started out messy and got messier. For some reason I still finished it, I think because I had a lingering cold and it was all my brain could handle at the time *shrug*

9. Gone with the Rain: I actually really enjoyed this one! The pacing was inconsistent, but Zhang Nan was fun as the irreverent Mo Xi, and we love a grizzled general. Special shout to the teacher who was not actually evil, just a sad lesbian whose gf disappeared on her

8. Love You Seven Times: Intriguing concept, not a strong enough FL to carry it through. The reincarnation stuff really worked for me at first, especially in their first mortal tribulation (as people, not CGI animals), but I got tired of it pretty quickly. I admit, the gifs of Ding Yu Xi as a sexy cat demon *did* pull me back in, but not enough for me to actually finish the thing, alas

7. Destined/Chang Feng Du: Started out really strong, and then stalled out on me. I think I only got up to about episode 22 or so, after their epic desert crossing and new start in a new state--they lost all narrative momentum for me there. I stopped watching and then just...didn't start again. I do, however, remain a big Bai Jing Ting fan, and will be keeping on eye out for whatever he does next

6. Hidden Love: (Contemporary) Age gap romances are hit or miss for me, but Zhao Lu Si absolutely stole/carried the show for me in this one. Although more fun imo when the main couple are in the the will-they-won't-they phase than in the family melodrama after they get together, still the only contemporary CDrama to get me to give it a go this year--and I'm glad I did

5. My Journey to You: Featuring my favorite murder girlies Esther Yu as Yun Wei Shan and Lu Yu Xiao as Shanguan Qian! Gorgeous costumes and sets, sweeping cinematography, and plot that kept me on the edge of my seat. Full disclosure, I have not actually watched the last two episodes because I got busy and then saw weird chatter about them, so I have no comment on the allegedly weird ending

4. Till the End of the Moon: Look, I know the ending wasn't ideal, but for the majority of its run, this drama owned my entire soul. It also introduced me to Bai Lu as Li Su Su, who inspired my first actual tumblr post (that wasn't a reblog) because I was so obsessed with her. And everyone knows that Tantai Jin is the CDrama ML of the year. 10/10, no regrets at letting it take over my life (and the OST my Spotify) from April to May of this year

3. The Story of Kunning Palace: More Bai Lu is always a good thing, and she's extra fun here as the transmigrated former evil empress and totally-over-your-nonsense Xiang Xue Ning here. The reverse haremness of it all totally shows why Bai Lu is the chemistry queen, especially with the princess (Liu Xie Ning) and cranky, morally grey, would-fail-gym-class strategist Xie Wie (Zhang Ling He). So glad this drama made it out of the CDrama vault and didn't languish indefinitely in censorship hell

2. A Journey to Love: Finished this one two days ago as of this writing and am still not normal about it. Ren Ruyi (Liu Shi Shi) and Ning Yuan Zhou (Liu Yu Ning) lead an exceptionally strong ensemble cast in this wuxia that explores the complicated relationships between love, duty, loyalty, loneliness, and companionship. Ruyi and Yuan Zhou are far and away one of my fave OTPs of the year, but just as compelling are the relationships between friends/brothers/fellow assassins Yu Shisan, Yuan Lu (ugh my heart), Qian Zhou, and Sun Lang. This drama definitely has one of the strongest ensemble casts of the year. And the character growth of Yang Ying from little princess abandoned in the cold palace to who she becomes by the end will stick with me for a long time. Plus another 10/10 OST!

1. Lost You Forever S1: I'm not normally a reverse harem girl, but the longing, loss, and hard resolve portrayed to perfection by Yang Zi as Xiao Yao really did it for me here. This whole drama struck an emotional chord for me, and where TTEOTM consumed my soul, LYF took over my heart. Xiao Yao's relationships with her power hungry, overprotective cousin Cang Xuan; hot snake demon Xiang Liu/playboy archery shufu Feng Feng Bei; and perfectly devoted Tushan Jing are all equally compelling to me, and while I may know who she ends up with in the end, who I *think* she should be with changes based on who's on screen at any given time. And A'Nian, my favorite bratty princess who really just needs some strong parenting, holds a special place in my heart. I know we may never get S2, and even if we do, censorship means it probably won't be what the drama makers are capable of, but I'm so glad for this little piece of absolute perfection. And, again, a top notch OST!

Fave Drama: Lost You Forever, by just a hair over A Journey to Love. See above.

Least Fave Drama: Royal Rumours--truly why did I finish this, what was past me thinking

Biggest Disappointment: 2023 is also the year I read Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir, my very first CNovel! But then I didn't even bother checking out its adaptation, Romance of a Twin Flower, because it got rid of everything that made the novel such an addicting read, including a brilliant, strategic, ice cold FL and an ML who actually kind of sucked at the beginning, only to grow on you very, very slowly over time. I'm grateful that the chatter around the drama is what brought the novel to my attention, but other than that, hard pass.

Favorite Male Character: Lots of good ones this year, but I'm gonna go with Cang Xuan (Zhang Wan Yi) from Lost You Forever. The conflict he faces between getting enough power to protect the people he loves the most and that power making him incompatible with those loved ones is so compelling, and his yearning for Xiao Yao even when she's right in front of him is wrenching. Full disclosure, I also just really love the sound of his voice

Favorite Female Character: This could easily have gone to Li Susu (TTEOTM), Xiao Yao (LYF), or Ren Ruyi (AJTL), but I'm gonna go with Bai Lu's Xiang Xue Ning in The Story of Kunning Palace. Something I really loved about this character was just how jaded Xue Ning really was, even in her second go round at life. Yeah, she wants to make amends for the harm done in her previous rise to power, but that has hardly turned her into a good--or even pleasant--person. Instead, she's incredibly skeptical and still plays most things ice cold, especially with her family. As a bonus, we got plenty of Bai Lu's fantastic side eye as she basically had to do high school all over again when she gets called into the palace despite her very best efforts not to be.

Favorite Ship: Ren Ruyi and Yuan Zhao from A Journey to Love have got to be it. They balance each other out so well, and over the course of the drama, learn to communicate effectively with each other whenever they have a problem. They also recognize that not all problems can be solved by ~love~, which makes their relationship even more compelling when they decide to prioritize each other in a way that respects what the other wants from life.

Favorite Secondary Ship: Little princess Yang Ying and Yuan Lu absolutely broke stole my heart in A Journey to Love. Doomed love even more than the main OTP, these two's youthful romance was such much fun to watch, especially as they egged their respective mentors on in their own romance. Yang Ying's recognition that her first love did not have to be her only love is also something I always love to see, even as it broke my heart that (spoiler) she and Yuan Lu never really had a chance at an HEA. Their relationship really exemplified a key theme of this drama: that you should love the people you love while they're still with you because tomorrow is never promised.

Non-2023 Dramas that I Watched: Two non-2023 dramas I watched that deserve a special shout out are Love and Redemption and The Sword and the Brocade. Love and Redemption prepared me to really appreciate the big swings that Till the End of the Moon took, and The Sword and the Brocade went a little way to filling the Story of Ming Lan shaped hole in my heart. The Sword and the Brocade also had absolutely searing critique of the concubine system, even as it featured one of the most genuinely good-hearted FLs I've seen. Would recommend both!

Most Looking Forward To: Yes, I'm a sucker and the censors (not to mention the characters) will probably break my heart, but I'm still crossing my fingers that Lost You Forever S2 will live up to the promise of part one. See above: still a CDrama beginner, have not yet had all the optimism knocked out of me. Sue me.

[traineecryptid]

NPSS Weibo Q&A (20240831) Part 6

This is a Q&A session held on Weibo. People will tag their questions with the hashtag #南派三叔藏海花在线答疑# (#NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A#) and NPSS will look through the tag to pick some to answer. The event started at 1500 hours on 2024 August 31st.

Folder with screenshots and big compilation google doc is here. Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here.

1847

Q: Shu, how would you like us to treat the DMBJ dramas and the novels? Are they parallel universes? For example, the Sha Hai drama had an ending while the novel didn't. Also a lot of novels have characters that haven't appeared in the novels. 

A: Usually, I view the novels as the real world and the dramas as a version that the characters in the stories tell others. There's two good things about this. 1. It can explain all sorts of differences between the novel and the drama. 2. It allows the dramas to present extra emotion that the characters have when retelling the story. By looking at how a person retells their own story, you can see how they see themselves and this story.

1902

Q: Sanshu, will you do a drama adaptation of Sea of Lights? That one is really scary. But I’ll say this first, if you are going to make an adaptation, you must finish writing it first, okay?

A: Do you like scary scenes? I thought everyone wouldn’t be scared anymore.

1913

Q:Can you talk about the casting? What’s the deciding factor or what changed that ended up with this Xiaoge and Wu Xie being cast?

A: The entire process from Naive Wu Xie to ZHH Wu Xie to Sha Hai Wu Xie is too difficult. Wu Xie’s luck ended when ZHH Wu Xie ended.

1936

#Zang Hai Hua# I’ll ask everyone a question. Between the two storylines in ZHH, do you like Wu Xie’s storyline or Zhang Qiling’s storyline?

2011

Everyone please give some practical responses, okay? (T/N: There were an amount of people responding with “Pingxie’s storyline!” to the previous post.)

2031

Q: How many times has Zhang Qiling guarded the Bronze Gate? Has Zhang Haiyan guarded the gate with him before? [Excerpt of Blind Tomb: Little Brother Zhang? Could it be that in one of the ten years in the past, he was the one who accompanied Menyouping into the Gate?]

A: Nope. You’re overthinking it.

2031

Q: Has Tu Dian done something to Xie Yuchen causing Hei Xiazi to hate him?

A: Hei Xiazi knows that this man’s bottom line is too low and he also doesn’t fear death.

2033

Q: Bing, they only want you to answer their questions. I’m different. I only care if you’re tired from answering so many questions every day. (With deep emotions)

A: I think there are too few questions and there is too much repetition. I want to see strange questions.

2051

#NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A# Everyone go watch the drama first. I want to write an update first. I’ll come back and continue later.

20240901

0129

Q: Speak!! Sanshu! Good evening (Very loudly)

A: Coming right up.

0145

Q: Where is the update you wrote? 

A: It will auto-post at 12pm tomorrow.

0152

Q: Sanshu, would you consider writing a guzhuang mystery drama with the Five Succulent Beef? (T/N: this is the group name for: Wu Xie, Xiaoge, Pangzi, Xiao Hua and Xiazi) I think it would be very interesting.

A: Is this the dream about the five famous investigators? Godly Investigator Wordless, Godly Investigator Sight-less, Godly Investigator Dustless, Godly Investigator Joyless, Godly Investigator Thin-less. 

0156

Q: If Zhang Haixia survived and met Wu Xie, how would they interact with each other? What identity would Zhang Haixia use and how would he participate in the Ten Year Plan?

A:”Are you the one who makes others worry or the one who worries about others?” Zhang Haixia asked. Wu Xie didn’t know how to answer at that moment. 

“Both at different times, I guess,” Wu Xie said after giving it a thought. “That’s making others worry,” Zhang Haixia said.

0213

Q: Sanshu, why isn’t Xiaoge midlane solo? I feel like both Wu Xie and Pang-ye are the Iron Triangle’s top-middle jungler. Walking around providing help, starting the team fight and setting the tempo, DPS carry, sitting at the most important location on the map, excelling in every area. If Wu Xie and Xiaoge partner up for the bottom lane, would they get into an argument? Is Aphelios the most suitable AD for Xiaoge? A: Xiaoge appears and disappears whenever. If this isn’t jungle-ing, what is it? If the midlane solo keeps walking around, [the others] might go nuts. 

0218

Q: Lei, I’m getting you. I’ve been posting for the entire day. Tell me Zhang Haiyan and Zhang Haixia’s first impression of each other. 

A: Is he going to snatch my food? —Zhang Haiyan

He’s so skinny. I’ll give him half of mine. But is it too much? I’m hungry too. —Zhang Haixia

90 posts and we've passed the 1st day mark of q&a! also yes npss was answering questions at 2am. but the best part of this section of q&a is the appearances of the southern archives characters! so fun! if i manage to get a good chunk translated tomorrow, i'll do another double update... but we shall see...

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

Hey boo, I was wondering if you could help me with something

I found and reblogged these two posts when trying to figure out Matt's height in vld:

https://www.tumblr.com/rosiecottonsstuff/780898209482604544/growth-spurt?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/rosiecottonsstuff/780897974289055744/matt-holts-height?source=share

And then I remembered about this post of yours which I also reblogged earlier this week:

https://www.tumblr.com/rosiecottonsstuff/780603673439076352/help-i-need-a-cool-username-voltron-height?source=share

So I was wondering if you could help me cause I dunno how to do this shit

Thanks lovely! <3

Sure!

Blast from the past i havent thought about voltron in years lol what a nice suprise

So how i measure heights is by heads! The average head is 8-9 inches tall. So typically i

find a full body image

circle the head

copy and paste the exact same circle as the head circle and align them through the body. Likely there will be extra left over at the feet thats too small for the circles. Thats okay! Add as much of the circle as you can

Now its math time: Count the number of full circles and multiply it by 8 or 9 (when doing math with characters i know are short i'll do 8 and when we know they're tall i'll do 9)

Circle at the foot: how much circle is there? Say you went with 8 inches. If theres half a circle, add 4 inches to your current number. If its a quarter of a circle, only add 2 inches. Kinda in between? Add 3 inches. If it was 3/4ths add 6 inches. Etc

Use a online calculator to convert to either feet or cm (whatever ur measurement preference) and you got the height!

Now with cartoons (as voltron is) the result has a good chance of not ending up as a real height in real life (because the height and width of the characters is up to artistic leeway and character design and not the limits of human biology). This is why the measurements for the whole cast are all over the place in my post

HOWEVER the post you linked isnt full body.

Assuming a full body pic of both of them together cannot be found your next best bet is finding a full body pic of one of the characters. As you want to find out how much Matt grew, id recommend Pidge.

Do Pidge's math

You can then return to the pictures of them together. Draw a line across both characters from the top of their heads

Draw Pidge's circles again BUT going upward and stopping at Matt's line

Do all the same math but dont convert your measurements yet

Now you are going to take Pidge's initial height in inches and ADD the number you just got. This will give you Matt's height in that photo

Repeat on other photo

SUBTRACT the smaller height from the bigger one and you got exactly how many inches he grew! You can then convert those to cm if youd like

I hope that made sense! I think ive demonstrated how to do this on a old LOTR post so if i can find it i'll link it

[analyzing-people-like-hell]

saw your recent post in the sanders sides tag - here goes:

Some of these are more fun-to-watch than relates-to-me, but I figure listing ‘em all will give you more to work with.

Listed in alphabetical order, except as needed to group sources together.

Alastor, Hazbin Hotel (show)

- He’s charming, confident, very good in his chosen field, and also happens to be AroAce. He appreciates jokes, but can also be intimidating.

Cayde-6, Destiny (game)

- Quick wit, quick shot. Always fun to hear his dialogue during missions and strikes. The kinda guy you’d go to for a good story (or if you’re lookin’ for extra paperwork to do).

Crow, Destiny (game)

- Good guy, interesting situation (read: tragic backstory). Not exactly doomed-by-the-narrative, but…

The Doctor (10th), Doctor Who (show)

- Honestly, not sure why. He’s just fun to watch. (Also, he has a very distinct/memorable way of phrasing things)

Data, Star Trek: The Next Generation (show)

- Yes, I’m Autistic; How’d you guess? (/j) Honestly though, having a discussion with him about humanity/social behaviors/other things would be SO interesting!

Odo, Star Trek: Deep Space 9 (show)

- If Odo and I were in the same room, I don’t think there’d be much talking. But, in a two-introverts-who-got-dragged-to-the-same-party-and-are-avoiding-the-humans-together kind of way. Companionable silence.

Spock, Star Trek: The Original Series (show)

- He’s just cool. (also a HUGE childhood influence towards logical thinking)

Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly (show)

- Protective of his crew, “Has a conscience, and hates it,” no-nonsense, practical thinker, quick wit, stubborn.

Simon Tam, Firefly (show)

- Very good at what he does (doctor), smart, stands by what he believes in (“when you’re on my table, you’re safe”), and who he cares about (his sister).

River Tam, Firefly (show)

- …River is a mood. Specifically, a “leave me alone, I can’t talk now, my brain is full of bees” mood.

Seth, Lost Terminal (podcast)

- He’s an AI who used to live in a satellite, and made his way down to a post-collapse Earth so he could talk to people. He often mentions the intricacies and confusing nuances of human communication, his distrust of plants and salt, and the fact that humans are quite fond of bread and beer.

Susan Ivanova, Babylon 5 (show)

- “No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow.”

Michael Garibaldi, Babylon 5 (show)

- If any of the main cast could’ve broken the fourth wall, it would have been him. I don’t know what that says about his character, but it feels right.

Virgil Sanders, Sanders Sides (YouTube series)

- He’s the personification of (Thomas’) Anxiety, but he can be quite brave when he needs to be. When he’s under pressure/more anxious/needs to be listened to, he’ll act more abrasive, but he has a softer side (heh side) he shows when safe. He’s also the secondary brain cell holder of the main cast.

Logan Sanders, Sanders Sides (YouTube series)

- The brain cell (/pos). Also seems to be going through… gifted-kid-burnout-angst-stuff, for lack of a better term. Also nicknamed the Mom of the group, though someone pointed out that he didn’t choose that title for himself, which I thought was interesting.

Janus Sanders, Sanders Sides (YouTube series)

- I think you already saw him in another ask, so I’ll be brief: “You’re not stuck with an ‘evil snake boy.’ *pose* You’re just stuck with a snake boy.”

…After typing this all out, I’ve noticed that most of these fall into one of three categories:

~Autism~ TM (/pos)

Competent, might be an asshole

Protecc/Attacc

I don’t know what that means, but it’s kinda funny.

Have fun!

ANALYSIS #4: 06/11/24

It's about time I start getting around to all these new test subjects. I apologize for the wait, but I'm more than ready to see what you have in store for me here, #4.

I'm not familiar with the majority of these characters, so this could very much be a hit or miss analysis.... Your descriptions definitely aided me a lot, so thank you for that. I guess we'll just have to wait and see if this ends up being accurate at all...

Why don't we see if I got your backstory right first? It's where everything originates, after all.

"LORE":

You seem to be an observer in this game of life. I feel like you've spent a large part of your existence on the outskirts of everything, and the times you have joined the outside world were never completely of your own volition.... You don't feel like you particularly fit in as a "human", yet at the same time everything you feel is all too human. I can imagine it gets pretty overwhelming, and you've probably gotten a lot of heat for it in your younger years. Maybe you didn't have many friends growing up, and the ones you did have probably didn't live up to your expectations of what "friendship" was supposed to be. Maybe you've had friends that took advantage of you and it didn't even click until the damage was already done, or you stuck it out because.. that's what friendship's supposed to be about, right? Maybe you were just left out in general, always the second option unless they needed something out of you. Who knows. There could be a lot variations of what happened in your childhood regarding relationships, but I'm guessing they didn't always make much sense to you. It's probably why you stay on the outskirts so much. If the world won't let you experience humanity for yourself, you can at least watch humanity from afar.

I have a feeling your home life wasn't all that great? It wasn't particularly terrible-- you're grateful for what you were given-- but you wish there were things that were done differently. I think this also plays into the whole "disconnect from people" bit. Maybe they cared for you, but it was clear they didn't understand you, and it can be a little hard to be grateful when somebody's care is always... a little off? If that's the case, I bet it probably feels worse knowing that you can't really blame them for not understanding. Things are probably better now as you've grown, but there are things that still sting just a bit. Also for some reason I think you were homeschooled.... No reason why, it just came to mind, and I've learned trusting my gut makes my analyses more accurate. I'd like to see if that ends up being true.

Another thing that my gut keeps telling me is that the tism is strong in this one. You've already confirmed that, but I specifically feel like (i'm assuming you're diagnosed based on how you phrased "yes, i'm autistic") you were either diagnosed at a pretty early age or you were late diagnosed (probably because of icky-ew gendered stereotypes in medical fields) and it explained a whole hell of a lot of your childhood, to the point where you're surprised you weren't diagnosed way earlier in life. Heavily leaning to the latter, by the way, but the first still has a 5 to 15% chance of standing. Either way, it depicts why you'd feel such a heavy disconnect from the people around you. It's as if everyone was given a script to life, meanwhile you're forced to improv it the whole way through. Do you see life as a game? How much time have you dedicated to perfecting your skills, believing that perfecting them would be the key to winning these petty social games? Are you sure you're not still lost? Just some food for thought.

Anyways, with that all in mind, let's see what really goes on inside that head of yours...

THE TRUTH:

You still resent the world in a way, don't you? I can't shake the thought that there's still a resentment buried inside you that's been bubbling for a while. Maybe it's lessened a bit, but you can still feel it resurface every now and then. It's as if sometimes a reminder will come your way and it's another crack added to that bottle you've been storing all your emotions in. Like another poke at the confines will unleash everything you've been working on trying to maintain. I don't think it's spilled over yet, but I think we both know it's certainly not far from tipping over. You surprise even yourself with how much you've managed so far.

Part of you has lost your vulnerability. I'm not sure when or how, but I think it goes back to that disconnect from people. I don't think you've met anybody who's completely understood you yet, which has probably led to constant misunderstanding from everyone else. That kind of persistent detachment is bound to make anyone lose parts of themselves. If that's what happened, I'm sorry they took that part away from you. You deserved to be yourself without being shot down over and over, you still deserve that. It really is a shame that the world is too blind to see the beautiful depth in your soul. Complexity is never a flaw. Complexity is rarely even "complex". The world just needs to learn how to appreciate you at your core, and I truly hope they're able to see that in you soon. 

In fact, why don't I detail some of the complex beauty that I can pinpoint? If the world can't see it, then it only makes sense if I spell it out for them.

YOUR BEST TRAITS:

You're very attentive. You also seem to have some pretty good wit. That not only makes you a really great analyst, but I think it'd make you a pretty great comforter too. You're able to analyze and recognize patterns in people, and you seem to still hold a great appreciation for people despite how isolated people have made you feel. Despite always feeling like an outcast, there's still a part of you that cares. Those are qualities that truly great comforters have. However, with how confusing relationships with other people can be sometimes, I can also see why that would hinder your ability for it and turn you away. Nevertheless, the foundation is still strong. You're still strong. Use that to your advantage. Take back the life that you deserved. Show them that you are not the painting they've made of you.

I just feel like you're really funny for some reason, and probably pretty chill while still being able to stand your own ground and opinions. That's a highly respectable mix of traits to have, at least in my eyes. You also for some reason remind me of that main guy from Magnus Archives. I've never listened to Magnus Archives though. All of the information I know about that podcast has come from random clips I've stumbled upon and rants from my friends who are into it. But from the information I have on him, I view him as a weird little autistic guy who's always a little tired, a little witty, maybe a little too obsessed with analyzing sometimes, also probably on the aroace spectrum. However, he's also a hard worker who-- when he cares about people-- he really cares about them, and if he likes you then you could probably drag him just about anywhere (even if he grumbles the whole way through). Now I have zero clue if any of that is true to his character, but I feel like it could maybe fit yours, and I at least think people like that are a pretty special find. 

Also, you're just a wee little guy. A little snake boi even.

And with that, I think I'll leave my thoughts here and take my bow.

With utmost gratitude (and hopefully utmost accuracy),

Dr. WZ

[supernaturalkickparty]

Hey! Random ask but since you are a Supernatural girlie, I had a question.

My favorite episode is the one with Bloody Mary. Whats yours?

oh totally not random at all!

oof ok so favorite episode is so hard to narrow down, especially since the show lasted 15 years.

this is gonna be a long ass post so it's going under tags lol

from season 1 it would have to be a tie between Skin and Shadow

in season 2 it's Playthings, Born Under a Bad Sign and of course ALBL 1 &2

in season 3 while it's a short season it's still a good season and this one is kinda hard for me to narrow down a favorite

I would have to say that one i saw a lot of on tv and one i do back to a lot is A Very Supernatural Christmas but I also love Bad Day at Black Rock, Sin City, and Mystery Spot but only because that episode is a little glimpse into soulless!sam

season 4 jfc season 4 has a TON of good episodes like I really love that season.

The way everything with Sam and the demon blood leads up to Lucifer being set free is just ugh, fav season tbh like apart from season 1. i can honestly watch the first 4 seasons and not skip an episode.

season 5, again another season I love, but what comes to mind automatically is Sam Interrupted and Dark Side of the Moon, and Swan Song.

season 6 season of all time once more lol i loved soulless!sam although i have read about some people not liking it, i personally loved it but that's just me.

fav episodes of that season are You Can't Handle the Truth, Appointments in Samarra, Like a Virgin, Unforgiven, The French Mistake, and The Man Who Knew Too Much

agh ok i'm gonna lay off the gifs for now and just go through the rest of the seasons without them lol

season 7 is honestly one of my all time favorites because Sam suffers so beautifully and i loved the hallucinations and dean telling him to make him stone number one and the hand scar waaay too damn much.

What i didn't like about that season was Cas, I felt his story should have ended there.

Season 8 is another good one because there is SOOOO much to unpack there.

Sam turns to reckless behavior and drinking and is stuck in that odd situationship with Amelia. I honestly hated that for him but at the same time it was somewhat fitting?

She lost her husband, he lost his brotherhusband, her husband came back from when he was presumed dead, Dean came back after also being presumed dead.

I would have loved it better if she were a figment of Sam's imagination or if she treated him horribly and the reason the flashbacks were fuzzy and rose tinted was because she was such a bad person but again thats me.

That season is so heartbreakingly frustrating and then we get Sacrifice.

Dean's still an asshole to me but he panicked enough to realize he was being a dick but only because that meant losing Sam.

church hand fasting ceremony my beloved.

Season 9 ok first off Jared choosing to play Gadreel a certain way and using iambic pentameter for his manner of speaking was amazing.

Tahmoh Penikett hadn't even had a chance to film anything as Gadreel and chose to go off how Jared was playing him and I loved it.

but for that season i love I Think I'm Gonna Like it Here, Dog Dean Afternoon, Bad Boys, First Born, The Purge and Do You Believe in Miracles.

season 10- ok this could have been better if they made Demon!Dean more OBSESSED with Sam than trying to pull away and hide from him.

If they weren't cowards they could have had Demon!Dean trying to turn Sam into the Boy King and have them both rule hell and it would have been awesome.

First Knight of Hell Dean with his Boy King brother 😌

what kills anything for me storyline wise is anything to do with the angels, i don't care about Cas and Hannah and the different factions. you could take them away from the season and it wouldn't change anything on Sam and Dean's storyline.

People tend to forget its the Sam and Dean show, not the show based on the extra casts.

Season 11 gave us Baby, Just My Imagination, Into the Mystic, Beyond the Mat(the miz was in that episode lol) Red Meat, The Chitters, and Alpha and Omega. brother feels wise its a good season.

season 12 apart from the BMOL and the writers botching on writing Mary Winchester i did enjoy it, I just wish they would have written her a little bit better.

season 13 gave us Jack and Mommy!Sam i wish i could find the gif of Jensen saying that Jared makes a great wet nurse and Jared has said that he's built like a fridge filled with milk.

i dont discuss that horrible wire fight and the Thriller blue eyes Dean has at the end because its dumb as fuck and i remember saying what the fuck is this? well i actually said que chingas es esto because it made me speak spanish lolol

Season 14 gave us Sam's grief beard which i love, Mint Condition, Prophet and Lost, Damaged Goods, Lebanon, just 🥰🥰🥰🥰

season 15 was kinda hit and miss in the sense it felt weird because its like the writers kinda stopped caring and maybe thats just me but it felt weird and i'm still bitter they all forgot Sam's powers after Kripke left and they got the new writers.

but i did love Atomic Monsters, Proverbs 17:3, and of course Carry On.

15 years is a lot episodes, time, and energy to put into a show and the fact i saw it as a teenager to as an adult with a kid is such a trip but Supernatural is a huge part of me and i will forever hold this show near and dear to my heart.

[manonamora-if]

March Check-In

Lol. We definitely were not back on track here. We tried and SUPER FAILED at going back to the schedule.

Will March be better? Let's find out together...

Onto the usual index:

Recap of last month’s progress

IF Events in the Next Month

Plan for the next month

Still long post under the break. If you want a mini version, head over to itch.io!

February Progress

Welp... there wasn't much of a list in the January Check-in, since it was the retrospective, which included the yearly plan. Still, I did make a mini one on itch. Put together we'd get:

Play more IF and maybe review. ✅

Finish the coding of Harcourt Ch5 ❌ and editing of Ch6 ❌

Fix one of the semi-completed games: ❌

Complete the Vamp/Smoochie jam entry✅

Heyyyy 50/50. Passable grade!

I've passed the very funny number of 420 reviews on the IFDB recently, mainly working my way through the French games (since there are very few reviews and French IF peeps are neat people). There are 300+ games left on that side, it will take me a while to get there but I'm making progress (almost done with 2023!). If my pace continues... I might be able to reach 2nd place in the ranking before my 1 year anniversary of reviewing games (mid-may). Also somewhat related, I've been trying to rate more games on itch too :)

I said I would finish the coding of Harcourt... and then didn't. But MelS was more productive than me, and he finished the first draft of Chapter 6 earlier than planned... which I haven't finished commenting on either... So :/

I also didn't fix any semi-completed games. So there.

But I managed to make it for the Queer Vampire Jam and the Smoochie Jam with Teatime with a Vampire ! A 20k-long trippy game with a hot vampire and a weird show...

AND AND I finally fixed my website and my itch.io profile. It has a cool feature on the front page. And we did a little AMA a few weeks ago!

Honestly, I thought I would have been done with Teatime two weeks before it actually was completed. So that threw a wrench in the rest. And probably having to moderate a few events at once...

And the extra day clearly didn't help.

EDIT: I TOTES FORGOT, but I updated DOL-OS for an extra QOL screen at the start.

What’s happening in March?

There's always something happening in the IF world. I don't think I ever find all that happens anyway... but. Here's the ones I know!

Today is the last day to submit a Spring Thing intent! (ranked)

he Queer Vampire Game Jam ends in about three weeks. Got a vampire/human story with a LGBT+ cast? Then this is the event for you! (unranked) Also they are doing a fundraising/matching donation with submissions!

The SeedComp! (Sprouting) extended the deadline for a few more days! See @seedcomp-if for more info ;) (ranked)

Concours de Fiction Interactive Francophone 2024 se termine Lundi! Viendez faire des histoires en français!! <3 (ranked, duh)

The next @neointeractives mini-jam will all be about bringing back old jams... Check out the Revival Jam !

The Text Adventure Literacy Jam 2024 just started! It will be looking for "parser for beginners" entries until May!

Note: @neointeractives will have jams all year long. One a month/or so. And the next Planting Round of @seedcomp-if will start as soon as the results are dropped.

The PLANtm for March

Busy plan once again. Here are the thing I'm hoping to do or finish this month:

Complete my French Comp entry. The deadline is in 3 days. Will I make it? Probably. Will it be good? Probably be not because I've been writing it only in the past two weeks. You can expect some "love" letters though...

Complete my SpringThing entry. It will be all about fixing typos and potential bug. The code will be ready next week anyway. Maybe slap some cool-er animations.

Play more games! Consider this done. There's the Smoochie Jam, the SeedComp! and the FrenchComp right there...

Finish the Code Ch5 of Harcourt and edit Ch6. At least one round of edits would be good. So I can put MelS to work again.

Finish fixing The Roads Not Taken. I'm so sorry babe. I'm not avoiding you I swear. I actually haven't bee on the computer with your files this month...

LET'S DO THIS! WE CAN DO IT!

~

The 2024 To-Do List:

I have done nothing here. So here's the list again for nothing.

The hopefully maybe easy to handle To-Do:

fix the bugs in EDOC + overall the French version to match

fix the bugs of TRNT + find a way to add the missing pieces (giving up on the translation)

fixing the interface of LPM and the popups + check animal interactions

figure out the One-Button JavaScrip/jQuery issue...

edit the loading screens of the completed tiny games to include the program/format logo at least.

The 'Need a Bunch of Content to update but it's planned!' To-Do:

Update my website (bunch new title - also I don't think the logo clicky thing work...) + redo my itch page

Finish TTATEH (MelS dependent - this year should be it - for real)

Finish Exquisite Cadaver (half-way mark by this summer - manif)

Finish P-Rix - Space Trucker (main path at least)

Update CRWL (it's been almost two years... I'm getting ashamed)

The Unlikely But it Would be Dope To-Do

Finish The Dinner as it was planned (and translate)

Finish In the Blink of an Eye as it was planned (and retranslate)

Finish The Rye in the Dark City

Fixing TTTT (at least fixing, maybe try adding some storylets)

And finally The 'It's impossible, but one can wish' TO-DO:

Remaster SPS IH (if I managed to start this after completing the rest... I'm going to eat a whole sheet cake).

Start the IFComp project (2025? Might end up being a ST?)

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (23/03/25)

Like I said last week, there's a lot more yapping this time around, some more next week too with more shows ending (Tho subs are behind a little for the office show since the fansubber is busy (which is fair) so that'll come whenever) and then the week after that, the new season will start so there'll be a lot more. I'll maybe have to move these posts to monday when the next season starts, cause I got way too many shows on sunday but we'll have to see at what time they air

Green - New series/New to me Blue - Finale/Completed

Anime

Blue Box Ep25 (Finale)

That was about as good of an adaptation as you can ask for, for a series of this genre. I've had it at 8 for a long time but didn't see a reason to lower it, tho I did consider it. However, having Sakamoto airing alongside it really put into perspective how good it actually is. You don't know what you have til it's gone, and all that But yeah, outside of them dropping the ball on a couple of the pages, there was nothing to complain about. They nailed all the really important scenes and the voice performances were great. Especially Kitou Akari as Hina in these last couple episodes, she was going off. Also the OST wasn't flashy or anything but I liked it a lot. I couldn't think of any tracks of the top off my head if you asked me, but if I heard one of the songs playing I'd be like "Oh yeah I think that's from BB" The show ended on a fucked up spot. It wasn't a huge cliffhanger, but it had me going "HUH? It's over already??" and waiting to see if there was something after the ED. The question is, will there be a S2? I certainly don't know but I'd like to get more, if it's this same level of quality. Tho considering how it ended you'd think there will be one, right? Surely? The manga is getting closer and closer to the end, so maybe they'll wait for that. Wouldn't be surprised if we had to wait til the next Jump Festa to know, but we'll see I guess

Sorairo Utility Ep12 (Finale)

I only ended up watching this cause I was going through my schedule site at the start of the season and read the synopsis and went "You know what? Sure, I could use a CGDCT show this season", and I'm glad that I did. It turned out a lot better than I expected. It was Yostar doing it so I didn't want to get my hopes up, considering how the Blue Archive anime went, but this was great I said it right on ep 1, I think, but the art was great and it had a lot of personality too, which helps a lot with this kinda show. Other than that, there's not a ton to say. A fun cast, with great voices, getting put in fun situations always makes for a good time, the great visuals just added that little bit of extra spice it needed. I don't care about golf, so it was a different sport I would've probably enjoyed it more, but they did a good job painting it in a good light at least It'll be sad not having these girls keep me company every week, but I hope they have fun playing golf together in the anime afterlife

Blue Exorcist S5: Blue Night Arc Ep12 (Finale)

I don't have much to say really. It was more of the same. The source material WAS better for this arc, but I was still gonna give it a 6 like I did for the previous season. However, the way it wrapped back up to episode 1 of S1 and the extra stuff with Rin talking with dad and the scene below convinced me to bump it up a little. It was a great way to wrap up this flashback arc nicely. Tho them ending on a cliffhanger like that is crazy lmao I've said it a couple times in the last few months but I can totally see them doing the thing the cliffhanger ends on, as a movie. It's probably gonna take a few years until we get another tv series tho, since the manga is still ongoing, but very near the end, and the anime is very close to catching up to it. I REALLY need to catch up with the manga, but every season I end up picking up a lot more shows than I thought (next one included), which eats up a lot more time than you'd think

Zenshuu Ep12 (Finale)

It's funny how I tricked myself into watching an isekai, but it turned out pretty good in the end. It was a lot more unique than I thought when I went realized it was that The premise of the show is the MC gets isekai'd into her favourite movie ever which she's watched a billion times. She knows everything that's going to happen because of this, but is powerless to do anything cause she's just a normal human. However, since she's an animator/director she has the power to draw stuff and bring it to life (since she's in the movie) to help changed things. She does this to stop things she knows will happen like certain people dying and the such. In the end, despite all the changes, the movie still reaches it's normal end, but she manages to zenshuu (or "fix", which is the title of the show lol) it somehow, giving a happy ending to the characters and herself There was also some stuff about love. The movie the MC was supposed to be creating was about a "first love" and she was stuck because she never had that experience, since she was only focused on becoming an animator all her life. However, through the series (well more near the end) she realizes this wasn't true, and that she had had one and just not realized it. Won't talk more about it cause I don't wanna spoil that much but there was a cool thing in the finale cause of that Anyway, the show looked great and we even got some sakuga crumbs, but it's MAPPA so it looking good is the least you can expect. The voice cast was good too, even if it wasn't a star studded cast, and the OST had some good tracks as well. I had the show as an 8 for a while but in the last few episodes I was going back and forth between 7 and 8, but I liked the finale enough to keep it like that. Tho that little bit right before the end card, without any follow-up after the ED was certainly a choice lol

Manga

Marchen Crown Ch0 - 1

Had been waiting for this series since it got announced, it's Kaguya/Oshi no Ko's author + Shuumatsu no Valkyrie's artist (+ another artist), which is an interesting combo to say the least Chapter 0 started off like a typical fairy tale, with a girl trapped in a tower (literally named Rapunzel lol) meeting a boy and they even fell in love and all that. However, this being Akasaka, I knew things wouldn't be that simple. Chap 1 ended with an insane cliffhanger that leaves you with tons of questions and absolutely no answers. Most people are familiar with fairy tales so you know the tropes and all that, so as you're reading you already have set predictions of what's going to happen based on that, which makes the twist and cliffhanger even more effective I never read or watched Oshi no Ko cause it's not really my vibe so I wasn't sure about reading this. Even more cause of friends' reactions to it. But I thought, well I may as well give it a try just for the author artist combo. and if I don't like the vibes I'll drop it, it's just chap 1. However that cliffhanger was good enough that it convinced me to keep reading, at least for a while longer, to see just what the hell Akasaka is trying to cook here I know this is super vague and doesn't mean much if you didn't read it, but I can't say much cause spoiling it would ruin it

[crazyassmurdererwall]

tagged by @cinematicnomad to post 7 comfort movies. (i would like you to know i struggle with lists like this because my autistic brain very much wants me to be AS PRECISE AS POSSIBLE and i only learned very recently that neurotypical people don’t worry about that?? they just…answer without worrying if they’re picking their top 7 comfort movies?? they just…pick 7 movies and move on with their life?? wild.)

1. spotlight. kat and i have this one in common, and for good reason - it’s just so. damn. satisfying. people who do bad things get called out on their bad stuff and people who had been ignored get heard. it’s (in my opinion) one of the most re-watchable dramas out there. and man…such a good cast.

2. howl’s moving castle. look, probably most of the studio ghibli movies could make this list, but howl is the one i turn to the most because the whimsical, fun, warm vibes of this movie feel like a HUG. the growth of all of the characters makes me smile and you just want to FALL into this movie. i absolutely want to take a walk through some hills and find myself at the door of a wacky castle with a super hot wizard, thanks very much.

3. major league. i asked my younger brother once how many times we’ve seen this movie and he laughed and said, “oh man…at least a couple dozen.” you have to understand this movie is a solid piece of the foundation of my childhood. we only had the basic stations when i was a kid and this movie was on on saturday afternoons constantly. CONSTANTLY. i can probably quote the entire thing from memory. there’s something about a baseball movie that always makes me feel like i’m living in an endless summer afternoon, like i have nowhere else to go, nothing else to do. it’s an unsurpassed vibe: just baseball and a warm afternoon that never ends.

4. 10 things i hate about you. another endlessly quotable movie - and one i share with my sister. also our dad loves it - and quotes it to me too. there isn’t a lot to say for this one other than sometimes a movie comes along and it’s just yours, you know? this is one of mine. when my sister had her oldest child i bought her a tiny red izod polo shirt and she immediately asked, “did you buy this from an outlet mall?” YES. I ABSOLUTELY DID AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN PROUDER RO BE YOUR SISTER THAN IN THIS MOMENT, RIGHT NOW.

5. rudy. if there’s something i think everyone needs to know about me, it’s this: i love inspirational sports movies. LOVE THEM. absolutely cannot get enough. do i know exactly what the filmmaker is doing to me every time i hear sweeping music and someone starts running in slo-mo? oh yeah. abso-fucking-lutely. do i care? not the smallest bit. in fact i lean into that shit. rudy is one of the best ones and it also gets extra bonus points because for a long time it was the only movie i ever cried at. that’s not hyperbole. people would refuse to watch it with me because i’d always be reduced to a blubbering mess by the end. HE’S SO LITTLE. AND THEY CARRY HIM OFF THE FIELD. give me a break. i’m not made of stone.

6. steel magnolias. the hallmarks of this list are a) i have watched this movie at least a dozen times, b) this movie has a VIBE, and c) this movie is insanely quotable. this movie passes all three with flying colors. the cast is absolutely stellar, and this community of women who love and support each other is just…THE ACTUAL BEST. but also: it has dolly. DOLLY. “what size shoe do you wear?” “well, i wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, i buy a size eight.” perfection. PERFECTION.

7. ocean’s eleven. you know how i love an inspirational sports movie? I LOVE A HEIST MOVIE. like LOVE. the whole genre is smart and fun, and ocean’s eleven is also stylish and funny and just a fantastic fucking time. it has an insane cast and a great soundtrack and it’s just so GOOD. so so good. it’s a film told with a wink that manages to carry the best part of 50s/60s swag into the 00s, and we are all the better for it.

i tag: @tattooedsiren, @machtaholic, @smowkie , @itsactuallycorrine , @caroandcats , @elisela , and @missanniewhimsy and whoever else wants to do this. it’s a fun one.

[kinkandkreep]

Another Doramai Blurb (this time featuring angst because the brainrot never stops 🫠)

Doramai angst! Doramai angst!

I had started working on this concept as a full story to post on my ao3 (which is GoddessLegendary if anyone was interested) but as I've decided to focus on other pursuits for now, I will instead be sharing the general idea as a blurb here.

So basically, we boutta combine essentially all of my favorite tropes and themes into one story, and feature one of my favorite ships at the center of it.

Draken has developed Hanahaki disease.

No one knows, and if someone were to discover this, they would be incredibly confused because he and Mikey are married, and seem to be more in love than they ever have been.

At least, that's the image they maintain.

The truth is, Mikey has been cheating on Draken with some random guy (or make it one of the cast for extra angst) for upwards of 6 months, and for as much as Ken can tell, has subsequently fallen out of love with him.

That's the only explanation for the red and yellow carnations, aloe and honeysuckle that erupts from his lungs with every coughing fit, each petal stained with the dull crimson of blood.

Ken's not sure Mikey knows he's fallen out of love with him though- the little blonde probably thinks it's just fun and games; a little excitement to liven up his increasingly mundane life.

As his condition worsens, it becomes difficult for Ken to hide his ailment, so he confides in Mitsuya, who, upon hearing of Manjiro's infidelity, has to be physically restrained from going and starting a fight.

Long story short, Takashi's eventually able to convince Ken to get the surgery to remove the roots which have taken up residence in his lungs before they kill him. (In my au, the surgery doesn't remove the memory entirely of the other person, just any and all romantic feelings for them. Depending on how deep the feelings were initially and the constitution of the sufferer, it is possible for those feelings to return.)

When Manjiro finds out about the whole situation, it's far too late.

Ken's had the surgery, and his romantic feelings for Mikey have entirely disappeared.

Now, this is where things take a turn.

Manjiro, having realized the error of his ways, had broken things off with whoever he was having his affair with, and had decided to turn a new leaf and devote himself entirely to Ken.

But now, Ken is explaining to him that he's fallen out of love and is serving him divorce papers.

Mitsuya being present for the exchange doesn't help, and Manjiro, in his desperation, assumes Ken had also been cheating on him with Takashi as retaliation for his cheating.

He becomes hysterical, desperately trying, and ultimately failing, to convince Ken to give them another chance. Ken then explains the situation of his Hanahaki, and Manjiro is driven to shocked and guilt stricken tears.

Anyway, time passes, and Ken and Takashi begin to pursue each other, whereas Manjiro is left to stew in his own increasing darkness, bitterness and envy.

As you probably could have expected if you know anything about my writing, this takes a yandere turn.

Mikey was always obsessed with Draken, and through some convoluted mental gymnastics, he convinced himself that Ken was too good for him, and would eventually step out on him once he became bored and/or overwhelmed with Mikey.

So, he stepped out first, and simply got caught up.

But now that's he taken a step back and lost Ken, he realizes how stupid and immature that train of thought was, and is.

Now he's desperate to get Ken back, by any means necessary.

Cue the stalking/manipulation/potential murder.

And hey, if you're feelin' particularly wild, you could even fashion this into an ABO au somehow.

Anywho, das what I got fa y'all this time round. Hope y'all enjoyed! And feel free to share your thoughts in the comments or my askbox. 👋🏾

[lickthecowhappy]

Playlist Analysis: #8 - Two Men In Love

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#8. Two Men Man-Shaped Beings In Love – The Irrepressibles 

This is an Aziraphale song.

Overview:

Heads up: this is a long one. I don’t blame you if you don’t get through it, but I think you’ll enjoy it. 

One of the most important things about this song that I will refer to many times is “The Heartbeat.” Throughout most of the song there is a percussive beat present that sounds like a heartbeat. At times it is soft and slow, sometimes it’s too quiet to hear, or it speeds up and gets louder. This signals levels of emotional arousal, especially when compared with general musical harmony, discordance, volume, and emotions expressed by the vocals. If you are reading this without listening to the songs, this is the one I feel most strongly that listening to the music itself is equally as important as analyzing the lyrics. I would absolutely love to hear more analysis of this from someone with more musical education.

To accurately understand my analysis of this song you need to understand my opinions/assumptions on what’s happening at the end of episode 6. I don’t believe that Aziraphale was mind controlled but I do believe he was manipulated. Despite manipulation to ply him, Aziraphale knows they are still in danger being together as angel and demon and he believes that two angels in love is the only chance they have for peace. That bringing Crowley to heaven to be reinstated as an angel* won’t change anything about who Crowley is fundamentally, it’s just a matter of citizenship. During Companion to Owls when Aziraphale said, “I know the angel you were,” he believed that Crowley was still the same being inside despite the change in teams, and Aziraphale still believes that about him. Crowley is only Evil™ because it’s been a requirement to his survival after being cast out. Crowley doesn’t understand this is how he feels. All Aziraphale’s language is too coded because he knows they are still not safe despite the last few years of non-interference and despite seeing Gabriel and Beelzebub go off together. 

Crowley has asked Aziraphale to run away from their home (the world) three times in order to take whatever small amount of time they have left to be together while it all burns down. Every time Aziraphale chooses to fight instead because he was created to be a guardian. If he’s running things with Crowley by his side they could not only be together openly, they would have the authority to protect their home and all its inhabitants.

Placement for this song was tricky because it represents the entirety of the final minutes of episode 6. It begins when Aziraphale interrupts Crowley’s rambling start of a confession and it ends with the smile in the elevator. I ended up putting it where I did because I had two Crowley songs back to back and I needed to sandwich an Aziraphale in there.

*I also believe that restoring Crowley’s angelic status would never have happened.

Lyrics:

If I asked you now Will you be my prince? Will you lay down your armor And be with me forever?

The Heartbeat is audible.

It’s steady, but it’s there in Aziraphale’s ears. He’s excited but composed. 

Let me rephrase the above verse: If I asked you now Will you be my angel? Will you take down the defenses you’ve developed And be with me forever?

Aziraphale is (misguidedly) asking Crowley to take down the protective barriers he’s rightfully made for himself and switch teams for Their safety. 

When you open me All the power in me moves How you want to see All the depths of me real When you open me All the power in me moves

The Heartbeat is still audible.

Crowley knows Aziraphale better than any other being. He sees Aziraphale’s true self. Crowley can open him like a book and read every page. I dare say he could recite much of it from memory. During the trial in s1e6 Crowley played his part perfectly, only really giving him extra confidence. When the two are synced up, Aziraphale’s heart is stirred. I can even hear this in a literal way, that Aziraphale is more powerful when they are fully “Them” like in s2e1 performing the half-miracle each. Crowley is still hostile to Gabriel at that moment, but he is much more desperate to protect than he is keen for revenge.

I feel real

The Heartbeat is present but softening.

When Aziraphale knows Crowley is seeing him for who he is, he feels real. Not ethereal. Real like humans are real, with free-will and the ability to grow and change and make mistakes and for those mistakes to be forgiven. Able to be what he knows himself to be, unbound by Heaven, not fitting the mold of Goodness™ he’s about to have to stuff himself back into. He needs Crowley by his side in Heaven in order to have the courage to be who he really is and fight for what he knows is really truly right. 

The Heartbeat softens to become inaudible before the next verse.

I love you Love you I love you Love you

The Heartbeat has been replaced by a soft, slow melody. This represents calmness, earnestness, self-assuredness, and tenderness, delicacy.

This is Aziraphale losing himself in the fantasy he’s trying to sell to Crowley. He has let himself believe that this is their ticket out of danger. This is Aziraphale saying “I love you” in his mind trying desperately to get his coded message across, knowing he can’t say it directly. Even saying it to himself the way one might finally admit it in words when they’ve finally let themselves give in to emotions they thought they could never be allowed to have. 

[Here the words have stopped, the soft, serene music becomes sharp and discordant, borderline unpleasant before returning to some level of gentleness.]

Everything is going wrong. Crowley is angry and he isn’t willing to hear an argument. He hears that Aziraphale is once again abandoning “their side” and his emotional reaction prevents him from decoding the offer of battle for which Aziraphale is trying to recruit him. And at the worst possible time, Crowley begins to confess his tender, fragile feelings, out loud, probably in full view of the Metatron. 

When I look into your eyes There's a danger inside When I see the edge I can never hide

The Heartbeat has returned. The music is gentle but uneasy. It evokes a sense of concern.

Crowley avoids eye contact for most of the confession but Aziraphale can barely look away from those yellow eyes he loves so much. He only looks away from them to look out the window (to his sinister side) where he KNOWS danger is waiting and watching. He understands where Crowley is going with this and shakes his head no, but Crowley is so uneasy and nervous and emotional, he misses all of Aziraphale’s body language that is very clearly (to the audience, at least) screaming that they are not safe. Aziraphale knows the danger is real, it is currently present, it is watching, and they can not hide from it. Not now, not ever.

See me Running, running, running, running, running Running, running, running, running, running Running, running, running, running, running To you, from you, to you

The Heartbeat is still present as before but begins to speed up with every line in an increasingly faster time signature into and almost stabbing piano notes throughout this verse.

Aziraphale wants to run to Crowley. He does it all the time, figuratively and sometimes literally. But he also runs away from him. Pushing him away to keep him out of harm’s way or staying at arm’s length because of the danger Aziraphale could bring down upon him. But no matter what, he can’t stay away. Aziraphale will always run towards Crowley in the end.

There's a strange love inside It's getting louder louder louder louder louder There's a danger I can't hide Who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am

The Heartbeat continues at this fast, strong pace but is slightly drowned out by the choral music and peals of stringed instruments.

Crowley has finally said all the things they have both been thinking for years (though really, for all his hemming and hawing and stuttering, he hasn’t said anything other than, let’s run away from the broken system like we just saw Gabriel and Beelzebub do). Aziraphale is feeling that strange love I talked about in Love Like You. He’s heard the love Crowley is trying to express and that strange love of his is getting louder, crashing in his head. But he can’t seem to communicate the danger to Crowley. Can’t communicate that they can’t hide, that even if they did run they wouldn’t be free, they’d be looking over their shoulders constantly. But Crowley is done; the shades on, the walls up. Aziraphale’s love for Crowley is a part of who he is now and he will be incomplete without him. Aziraphale is desperate and resorts to begging and petulance while his feelings continue to crash in his head.

I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love Ooh, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love Love, love, love

The Heartbeat is fast and loud. The music is swelling and grand but still there’s something wrong with it. A discordance? Like all the different instruments are playing slightly different parts of the same song. They momentarily seem to sync up but again become discordant with crashing symbols, strange vocals, and errant trills.

Aziraphale is screaming "I'm in love" in his head but he can’t say it. This is a declaration to himself. He’s never been more sure of it before. It’s on repeat over and over and over. 35 “I’m in love”s. THIRTY FIVE! There are hurtful words exchanged and weaponized nightingales and the kiss is a full 17 seconds of desperation and pain and regret and all the while I think they both have this phrase crashing over and over in their heads in some way. But neither can express it properly and Crowley leaves and Aziraphale is left alone to processes what the fuck just happened and how it all could have gone so wrong so quickly, while Crowley is out by the Bentley probably doing the exact same thing. 

[There is a brief, echoing melodic refrain here before the beat and tone suddenly shift in a jarring way. A way that feels like it’s a totally different song for a moment.]

The Heartbeat is still fast and strong.

Aziraphale has had only seconds to taste his lips and process what just happened when the Metatron comes back in the shop and he has to compose himself immediately. Based on blocking, I don’t think the Metatron saw the kiss, but he walks in fully knowing that Crowley isn’t going. But then, he knew that before he offered it anyway, didn't he? Aziraphale walks to the window and sees that Crowley is still there. He tries to leverage the bookshop to get out of the job but the Metatron has that covered. 

Gonna build you up, gonna help you believe, sonny Gonna build you up, gonna help you believe, sonny

The Heartbeat is fast and strong and pounding and very present alongside the spoken vocals and minimal music.

Aziraphale almost rejects the offer but takes one last look out the window and knows he has to fight. He sees Crowley out there and knows without any doubt how they both feel, despite the pain they just caused each other. He knows he has no choice but to fight for it, even if it means that Crowley believes that Aziraphale has rejected him. He resolves to protect Crowley and make sure that one day Crowley believes in him and the only way he knows he has the authority to do it is as Supreme Archangel. Aziraphale loves being rescued by Crowley but now he knows he has to do this on his own. So he accepts and goes with the Metatron and doesn’t take anything else with him.

There's a strange love inside It's getting louder louder louder louder louder There's a danger I can't hide Oh, it's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am

The Heartbeat remains fast and sharp but begins to be drowned out by music which is still crashing but now harmonious and confident.

This is a confident version of the previous instance of this verse. Aziraphale’s resolve is growing. He’s psyching himself up. That kiss was a desperate, frustrated temptation but it turned into an inspiration to protect what Aziraphale loves. He knows it’s dangerous, and Crowley won’t be by his side this time. He has no choice but to become the soldier he was created to be. To protect his love and his home. His courage is being bolstered by the love he now has no question is there and is mutual. It’s who he is and it's what he was created for.

I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love

The strong Heartbeat and confident, harmonious, powerful, joyous music continues.

Aziraphale’s body language and facial expressions as he ascends in the elevator tell such a story. At the start he’s breathing heavy and setting his jaw with a barely brave face and by the time the images blur, he’s standing more confidently with his war face on. He’s going to burn the system to the ground. 

(Also this brings us to 52 “I’m in love”s, if I counted right.)

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[rharyx]

Forgot about tracking my Final Fantasy playthroughs. Played a few more since my last post (which I guess was a whole year ago now).

Looking at my trophy list for the order in which I played things…it looks like 7 Remake was the first one I tackled.

Final Fantasy VII Remake Gameplay-wise, this was solid. Was never a fan of them splitting up the story across multiple games, though actually playing it and seeing the scale they were going for, it makes sense they had to do things this way. That said, so much of this game is just padding or filler, since it's only covering what's effectively the prologue of the original game. It's nice to see the main cast get fleshed out a little through their animations and vocal performances, but I ended the game wondering how a new player who wasn't already familiar with 7 was supposed to react to the whole thing. Cuz it's not really a true remake, but a weird alternate timeline sequel thing, and you need to have already played the original to appreciate that. Anyway, the parts that focused on the original story and the main characters were good, but I'm not a fan of all the new stuff, like the Whispers, and the NPC filler-y stuff like with Johnny, Chocobo Sam, Madame M or whoever. Though the extra worldbuilding that came along with all this new stuff was really nice, I think. Made Midgar feel more alive, which is cool. Anyway, not a super big fan of this one, since it's only a partial story and it felt too padded. 6/10, I guess?

Final Fantasy V By the time I played Remake, Rebirth was already out, but my brother was still playing it, so while I waited until I could borrow his disc, I played some other stuff. 5 was next on my list, and I really enjoyed it. It's right between 6 and 4, not only in name, but in how much I liked it compared to those two. It was a more light-hearted and sort of campy story compared to the somber, dark, and melancholic moods of 4 and 6, and that was endearing - it made it a cozier experience. Also, I enjoyed seeing where all the inspiration for Krile and the Students of Baldesion in FF14 came from. (And Gilgamesh, too.) I wasn't expecting much from the story, but I liked it more than I thought I would. The cast was really good, imo, and I liked how everyone's arcs sort of bounced off each other at one point or another. I also really like how, excluding Bartz, it's basically an all-girl team by the end. That's cool. They should do that again. Anyway, yeah, really fun game. Liked it more than I thought I would. Oh, yeah, and the job system is really fun. Almost forget to mention that. Love me a good job system. They need to bring that one back. 7/10

Final Fantasy VIII I went back to this game after 5 years and finally finished it. I knew I couldn't do it on my own, so I streamed it, and having people to talk to while I trudged through the game worked wonders. Don't think I would've been able to finish without that. Anyway, I ended up liking the game more than I thought I would by the end. And now that I actually have a solid grasp on the mechanics, I could definitely see a younger version of myself getting super lost in the grind and spending hours mix-maxing my stats and GFs or whatever, just experimenting with everything. I understand how so many people who had this be their first FF game as a kid wound up loving it. It truly is a game of all time. As for the story, it was pretty cool, I guess. Went places I didn't expect, and everything surrounding Squall and Rinoa was really well done, I think. The themes it tackled was done pretty beautifully, and I ended up liking the cast a bit more by the end, even if I still don't actually care about any of them besides Squall, Rinoa, and Selphie lol. And the final dungeon is really good. So yeah, I'm glad I went back to finish it. 7/10.

Final Fantasy II Technically, I started 7 Rebirth before playing this, but I finished this one first, so I'm listing it first. Uhh…this is a game, I guess? Like, it's super inoffensive, I suppose, just kinda generally boring. Not a super fleshed out cast, and the gameplay is pretty weird. Dunno if I like the whole "no level, but just increase each individual stat by grinding" thing it had going on. But again, like with all the Pixel Remasters, I just used the boosters to cheese my way through. 4x boosts to leveling spells and everything made me pretty hard to kill outside certain events. I'm assuming the original version didn't have running speed and a minimap, so these dungeons must've been fucking awful to get through. Just hours of getting lost and frustrated, I guess. Sounds terrible. I got the feeling that the dungeons in this game were just designed to annoy players and waste their time. But thanks to the Remaster features, they weren't bad. But still, yeah, it's just a generally whatever game. 5/10?

Final Fantasy VII Rebirth I just do not know how they made this game. The scope, the scale, the detail, everything is just…wow. It feels like this game should've been impossible to make. Especially since I read they did it in just 3 years? Like, that's insane. Anyway, they pulled off something crazy special, and crazy good. I'm still not a fan of the new story stuff - and all the Zack stuff was really weird and pointless - but the adventure was sure a fun one, all the same. Loved arriving at each new area, and loved doing all the sidequests and filling in the maps. Loved the combat. I even ended up loving characters I didn't like from the original: Yuffie and Cait, especially. It's a wonder what great voice acting and extra screentime can do for a character. I think everyone in Cloud's party benefited from this. They're all so well developed by the end. And everyone's gameplay style is really fun if you get it down pat. I think I mainly played as Cloud, Aerith, and Yuffie by the end. Aerith's ward system and Yuffie's ranged ninjutsu stuff is so satisfying when you pull it off right. I just had a lot of fun with all that. And even though I feel like it might be overwhelming to get all the sidequests done, honestly??? I didn't mind. But again, I was streaming and engaging with chat while doing it, so that made it more fun and not like a grind. Though, just like with the first game, all the new NPC sidequest characters are pretty annoying or boring, and I kinda zoned out during cutscenes cuz I just do not care about Billy's parents or whatever. But the extra development you get for the main cast via these sidequests was worth it, I'd say. It's fun to see everyone get closer as they progress their journey, like seeing Barret and Yuffie play fighting in the background, or Aerith and Tifa high-fiving and giggling with each other over something. I'm tempted to give the game a 10/10, but in all honesty, there is still a bit too much padding for my liking, like Remake. Esp with the minigames, though most of them are optional, thankfully. But on the topic of minigames, it's crazy just how much of a variety of them there are - like one is just straight up the Gambit System from 12, which made me excited (though the minigame itself sucked dick). I can't give the developers enough props for what they did with this game. It's so polished, and so big. I can't wait for the finale of the trilogy - even if I'm still not a huge fan of the new story beats. 9/10, at the very least, for sure. They nailed it.

I'm almost done with all the mainline games, now. I don't think I'm ever going to play 1 or 3, though. I watched a playthrough of 1 when Stranger of Paradise was coming out, and there's not much to it. Don't care about 3, but maybe if I'm bored? And I still really want to play the 13 trilogy, but Square needs to put them on PS5 first.

Once I play them all and know all the characters, I'll get into the crossover stuff like Dissidia. Don't want to play them without context on who everyone is first.