#i was thinking of going through the extras and 6 cast but this post is long enough

[dazed-and-confused23]

Dear Hearts and Gentle People 6

Summary: There is only so much you can do for Cooper when the two of you are attacked, and the extra vials you carry are crushed. There is only so much you can do when Cooper’s stash runs out. The wasteland takes as much as much it gives.

Pairings: The Ghoul | Cooper Howard x Female Reader

Warnings. Pretty angst filled here. Plus some kissing.

Masterlist

Part 2 -> HERE

It's been a week, give or take a couple of hours, since the group of raiders had jumped Cooper and his trader. They'd been wandering through some ruins, sightseeing as you liked to call it, when they began to crawl out of the burnt out buildings like ants. You and Cooper had worked like a well-oiled machine, but that still didn't mean that either of you was perfect.

One of the raiders had gotten the drop on you, literally flinging herself from the second flood of a building and slamming into your back, and in turn, your backpack that carried your wares inside. You thrashed about, jerking back and crushing the woman against the concrete wall, trying to shake her off. You smacked her again against the wall, and finally, she lost her grip and fell to the floor.

Cooper had shot the raider before she had time to get up, gore splattering the wall, and then the fight was back on. The two of you were exhausted by the time the fighting was done, and after a bit of well deserved looting, Coop had made a small fire in one of the more preserved buildings and you began to sort through your wares.

While the ghoul sucked down a vial, you had found the crushed medical case, heart shattering when you'd opened it to reveal your sizeable stash of chems destroyed. Fear had gripped your heart, and you shifted through your shattered stockpile and found a single surviving tube.

You'd looked at your ghoul, who looked relaxed across the campfire. The two of you were deep in the wasteland. At least a two week journey to the next town, and it would be a gamble if they sold the chems Cooper would need. You'd swallowed harshly and called his name, voice cracking.

"Cooper. We've got a problem."

His gaze had sharpened, his eyes skating over your form and looking for any kind of injury. When he found nothing, he raised a brow, confused, but still weary of your fearful expression.

"What's wrong, Darlin'. You look right as rain to me," He rasped and reached for his canteen, taking a swig of water that he immediately choked on when you lifted up the single vial. He stands and crosses the fire, crouching down and shifting through the broken glass himself.

"When did this happen?" He demands, and you cast your mind back, thinking hard.

"That one raider. She jumped on my back. They were probably crushed in the fight," you say and hand him the surviving vial, "That's the only one I found."

Rage and fear war within his chest, and Cooper stands, kicking a rock as hard as he could, a snarl on his lips, "Fuck!"

Now, a week later, Cooper hardly had the strength to move. The caughing had started two days ago after he'd sucked down the last chem. He lagged behind you, shoulders drooping and hat covering much of his face as he focused on putting one boot in front of the other. The clinking of his spurs was your only comfort.

Another two days passed, and Cooper couldn't go on. His strength sapped from his bones as he lay across from you, posted up on an old bed in a dusty motel. You kneeled by his side, fingertips tracing his jaw and up his cheekbones. You sniffled heavily, and then leaned in to kiss his brow.

"Ain't gotta go cryin' over me, Darlin'," Cooper murmured and closed his eyes, wishing that he could feel the press of your lips against his flesh better. A tickle licked his throat, and he turned away from you to hack, spit flying and a wheeze echoing through the room when he flopped back in the bed.

You ignore his words and fish out a bottle of water to hand him. You watch, concern coating your features as he hand trembles, and Cooper ends up splashing himself. You hold it steady after he sighs heavily and hands the bottle back.

"Promise me that you'll still be here when I get back," you say after you've taken the water back and stowed it away. You've got a plan, and you'll be much faster by yourself, now it was the hard part, and that was leaving Cooper behind.

Your ghoul sighs and gives you a look. Coop thinks that the two of you have had a good run, and if this is how he's gotta go, then so be it. He just hates that the last thing he'll see is you crying.

"Baby girl. I can't make you a promise I can't keep," He rumbles and forces himself to sit up, giving his girl a weary grin and taking your hands in his own. He presses his lips to your knuckles, one at a time, "You can't let some old man like me slow you down."

You force back the tears that threaten to fall. Coop never liked it when you cried, and you would do your best not to now. You would save this stubborn bastard if it was the last thing you did. Using his hold on you, you tug him down and in for a kiss, so sweet and full of love that the ghoul's clutches you back before he has to pull away and cough harshly.

"I'll be back before you know it, Cowpoke," you say, and at this point, you don't know if it's to assure him or you. You push yourself to your feet and fix your pack, bending to kiss Cooper one last time, memorizing the rough feel of his lips against yours.

Cooper pushes you away after a moment, a fond smirk playing on his lips, "Get outta here, cowgirl. I'll stay right here."

You give a decisive nod and then march away from him, exiting the motel and starting in the direction of the closest town. You had a ghoul to save.

[pekoehoneyncream]

Ghoaptober # 6

Prompt: Meal/Food

Words: 1000~

TW: None (sfw)

This version of Ghoaptober was created by @spadesandshovels

I gave you short and sad yesterday, but today you get short and sweet!

I don't know if y'all have seen that video of the soldiers getting yelled at for ordering pizza delivered to their camp, or that post about the lady that grew up way out in the country and only got ice-cream from a truck when it got very very lost. but this entry is inspired by both of those.

Enjoy!

Soap was slumped into the couch in the officer’s recreation room, watching Gaz swear at the telly as he ran his horse into the train for the umpteenth time and had to restart the mission again. Between Gaz fervently damning all of John Marston’s ancestors and the secondhand xbox 360 doing its best impression of an overboiling pot, the sounds of a escalating commotion beyond the door was almost completely negligible, and Soap was willing to play deaf to the few shouts that eked their way in. 

What he couldn’t ignore was Price busting in through the door muttering about idiotic fools. Now Price muttering to himself was perfectly normal, par for the course, nothing to take note of, what was decidedly abnormal was the Fab ice lolly that was dripping over his fingers. 

“Cap?” Soap’s vaguely disturbed truncated question stole Gaz’s attention away from shooting the train goers and, upon turning around, he too was immediately captivated by the incongruent sight of Captain John Price glaring at them while struggling to contain a rapidly liquifying lolly. 

“While on gate duty, Private Johnson dared Private Gilligan to stop an ice-cream van that was going by and the fucker actually did it. The front’s a madhouse.” Price reluctantly gruffed out to the two goggle eyed Sergeants staring him down. 

In the next moment Price was alone in the room with a screen heralding 'DEAD' in bold red letters. 

Gaz and Soap shoved at each other as they raced through the halls to the front of the base, joining a crush of other like minded soldiers. True to Price’s word the front gates were pure mayhem, save for the strangely orderly queue leading up to the Mr Softee van proper. Every soul with any kind of rank was abusing it to their best advantage to force every other unlucky sod to stand down and move back in the queue. Soap and Gaz were in luck as talking to the older lady leaning out of the van’s window was Warrant Officer Evans. The Sergeants sidled up to the queue, following their fellow’s leads in staring down Corporal Winslow until she obediently let them cut in front of her. Evans walked away from the van with a cherry screwball and the Sergeants stepped up to the window.

“I’ve only one cone left, lads,” The woman running the van warned them, leaning down and speaking up to be heard over the orderly chaos behind them and the tinny repeating jingling blaring from the top of the van, Gaz shot a possessive look at Soap and the Scot waved him on.

“Could I get a ninety-nine flake, please?”  Gaz got a smile for his nice manners and the woman turned to Soap,

“And for you, Lovie?” Her voice was kindly, but blunt with a no-nonsense manner,

“Ah’ll ha’e an oyster delight, an’ a strawberry swirl wi’ caramel sauce in a doubled cup w’ an extra spoon, please.” Soap answered, feeling like he now knew why the van’s queue was so orderly. Likely the woman, Florence, her name tag read, had just refused to serve anyone that hadn’t politely queued up. 

“Lovely,” Florence bustled about in the van, handing the treats out the window as she finished them, “That’ll be nine pound fifty,”

Before Soap could think through how best to juggle his ice-creams into one hand to dig his wallet out of his pockets, Gaz had already paid and casually walked away, licking at his cone and casting smug looks back at Soap as he scrambled to catch up. 

“Ye didnae ha’e tae pay, Ky,” Soap complained, “Ah’ve mah own money,”

“Then be faster, Tav,” Gaz teased, “I’m a tenner poorer now, I’ll be out on the streets by monday, livin’ out of a box.” 

“Get tae fuck, ye loony. Least ye’d ha’e y’ur own room” Soap laughed,

“You’ve a good point," Gaz nodded along, "Could be worse. Could be shared barracks,”

Soap felt something cold slither over his fingers and picked up his pace with a curse, the ice-cream was melting in sticky trails over the sides of its wrappings, why did the running track have to be so far away.

Soap hustled over to where Ghost was shouting constructive abuse at the rookies panting their way around the course, with Gaz jogging amiably along in his wake.

“L.T! Ah got ye some’hing,” Soap smiled as Ghost’s lovely calf brown eyes swung their glare unto him, passing over the oyster delight and peaceably ignoring his Lieutenant’s unchanged expression of flat ire. 

He pulled the extra cup off the bottom of his and extracted the second spoon from his strawberry swirl, popping it into his mouth to clean the taint of caramel off it, then handing both over to Ghost. 

Ghost extracted his oyster delight from the napkins mummifying it and dumped it into the bowl, stabbing the oddly flat spoon through an edge to make sure the utensil wouldn't fall out while he one handedly rolled his balaclava up past his nose. All this being accomplished in an unwavering deadpan manner. 

Soap watched Ghost take his first spoonful of ice-cream, then started in on his own. Getting a kick out of the grabbag of baffled, jealous, or resigned expressions that warped the rookies faces as they paced by them and caught sight of their superiour’s new preoccupation. He knew that it would take Ghost a good ten minutes to finish his treat, his teeth too sensitive to the cold to eat it any faster. Unlike Gaz, who had scarfed his and was now panting his way through a self-inflicted ice-cream headache. 

“Thanks, Johnny” Ghost’s quiet rumble whipped Soap’s attention away from Sideshow Garrick and the Scot beamed up at him.

“O’ course L.T! Was nae bother, dinnae fash yersel’,” Soap assured with a smile, bumping his shoulder against Ghost’s, 

“Of course it wasn’t a bother,” Gaz griped, “I paid for it!”

Ghost raised an eyebrow at Gaz, then faced front again repeating, “Thanks, Johnny,” in the flattest tone he could manage. Carefully hiding the smile that hooked at the corners of his mouth when Gaz’s exaggerated spluttering sent Johnny cackling. 

Thank You for Reading!

This one also required an absurd amount of research as I tried to figure out what the hell British ice-cream trucks could feasibly sell, and if scots have some slang word for them, they do. They apparently call an ice-cream cone a 'pokey hat'. A delightful discovery that I had to share as it didn't make it into the story.

PekoeHoneynCream's Masterlist

[flickrrposts]

Flug is Going to Lose an Arm - Theory

I'm not quite a theorizer, but with Villainous now in the US, I was rewatching season 1A when I noticed something I thought might be worth mentioning.

It's pretty common for cartoons to casually tell the audience major spoilers to the series in a discreet way that flies over the audiences' heads. (i.e. Ducktective in Gravity Falls, or the Cookie Cat song in the first episode of Steven Universe)

So when V.I.R.U.S. listed the spoilers for Código Guajolote at the end of episode 4, I wrote each of them down in case they became important later in the series.

@paper-gold-theories has a post going through each of the spoilers V.I.R.U.S. lists, where they draw a clear parallel between Flug and the character Macias from the show. (So go check out their observations!! Their theory on the "10-year-war" is great!)

One of the spoilers regarding Macias was that Macias "Has no arms."

So personally, I had the thought that Flug would lose an arm at some point, but didn't think about it much at the time, and just added it to a list of "cool fanart/edit ideas".

But later I was going through old saved photos, when I found this livestream sketch of animatronic-versions of the main cast (featuring Demencia ripping off animatronic-Flug's arm):

(Source: This post from @nightfurmoon)

Later, I was rewatching the orientation videos, and Black Hat jokes about ripping off Flug's arm at 6:06 (although, keep in mind that this is in response to what was occurring in the clip he's reacting to).

(link + english fan-sub)

And then, this one's a long shot, but in episode 6, Flug winds up finding an extra detached arm of his as a bit of dark humor (at about 2:11).

This one's definitely reaching, but it's another example of a dismembered Flug-arm, and thought it was worth bringing up.

These could all be coincidences, but I thought it was a cool concept to share none-the-less.

[starcrossed591]

CDrama Year in Review 2023

I'm still very much a CDrama beginner--I just started watching them in the summer of 2022--but since this is the first year I got into them in earnest, I figured I might as well do a year in review a la @dangermousie (whose lists I have found incredibly helpful in deciding which CDramas I really, really need to go back and watch as part of my CDrama education--so thank you!). So, without further adieu, here is my ranking of 2023 CDramas, in order of least enjoyed to most enjoyed*.

(See also: KDrama Year in Review 2023)

*Disclaimer: *not* a measure of objective quality

10. Royal Rumours: This drama was not great? Meng Zi Yi and Jeremy Tsui were fun, but the story started out messy and got messier. For some reason I still finished it, I think because I had a lingering cold and it was all my brain could handle at the time *shrug*

9. Gone with the Rain: I actually really enjoyed this one! The pacing was inconsistent, but Zhang Nan was fun as the irreverent Mo Xi, and we love a grizzled general. Special shout to the teacher who was not actually evil, just a sad lesbian whose gf disappeared on her

8. Love You Seven Times: Intriguing concept, not a strong enough FL to carry it through. The reincarnation stuff really worked for me at first, especially in their first mortal tribulation (as people, not CGI animals), but I got tired of it pretty quickly. I admit, the gifs of Ding Yu Xi as a sexy cat demon *did* pull me back in, but not enough for me to actually finish the thing, alas

7. Destined/Chang Feng Du: Started out really strong, and then stalled out on me. I think I only got up to about episode 22 or so, after their epic desert crossing and new start in a new state--they lost all narrative momentum for me there. I stopped watching and then just...didn't start again. I do, however, remain a big Bai Jing Ting fan, and will be keeping on eye out for whatever he does next

6. Hidden Love: (Contemporary) Age gap romances are hit or miss for me, but Zhao Lu Si absolutely stole/carried the show for me in this one. Although more fun imo when the main couple are in the the will-they-won't-they phase than in the family melodrama after they get together, still the only contemporary CDrama to get me to give it a go this year--and I'm glad I did

5. My Journey to You: Featuring my favorite murder girlies Esther Yu as Yun Wei Shan and Lu Yu Xiao as Shanguan Qian! Gorgeous costumes and sets, sweeping cinematography, and plot that kept me on the edge of my seat. Full disclosure, I have not actually watched the last two episodes because I got busy and then saw weird chatter about them, so I have no comment on the allegedly weird ending

4. Till the End of the Moon: Look, I know the ending wasn't ideal, but for the majority of its run, this drama owned my entire soul. It also introduced me to Bai Lu as Li Su Su, who inspired my first actual tumblr post (that wasn't a reblog) because I was so obsessed with her. And everyone knows that Tantai Jin is the CDrama ML of the year. 10/10, no regrets at letting it take over my life (and the OST my Spotify) from April to May of this year

3. The Story of Kunning Palace: More Bai Lu is always a good thing, and she's extra fun here as the transmigrated former evil empress and totally-over-your-nonsense Xiang Xue Ning here. The reverse haremness of it all totally shows why Bai Lu is the chemistry queen, especially with the princess (Liu Xie Ning) and cranky, morally grey, would-fail-gym-class strategist Xie Wie (Zhang Ling He). So glad this drama made it out of the CDrama vault and didn't languish indefinitely in censorship hell

2. A Journey to Love: Finished this one two days ago as of this writing and am still not normal about it. Ren Ruyi (Liu Shi Shi) and Ning Yuan Zhou (Liu Yu Ning) lead an exceptionally strong ensemble cast in this wuxia that explores the complicated relationships between love, duty, loyalty, loneliness, and companionship. Ruyi and Yuan Zhou are far and away one of my fave OTPs of the year, but just as compelling are the relationships between friends/brothers/fellow assassins Yu Shisan, Yuan Lu (ugh my heart), Qian Zhou, and Sun Lang. This drama definitely has one of the strongest ensemble casts of the year. And the character growth of Yang Ying from little princess abandoned in the cold palace to who she becomes by the end will stick with me for a long time. Plus another 10/10 OST!

1. Lost You Forever S1: I'm not normally a reverse harem girl, but the longing, loss, and hard resolve portrayed to perfection by Yang Zi as Xiao Yao really did it for me here. This whole drama struck an emotional chord for me, and where TTEOTM consumed my soul, LYF took over my heart. Xiao Yao's relationships with her power hungry, overprotective cousin Cang Xuan; hot snake demon Xiang Liu/playboy archery shufu Feng Feng Bei; and perfectly devoted Tushan Jing are all equally compelling to me, and while I may know who she ends up with in the end, who I *think* she should be with changes based on who's on screen at any given time. And A'Nian, my favorite bratty princess who really just needs some strong parenting, holds a special place in my heart. I know we may never get S2, and even if we do, censorship means it probably won't be what the drama makers are capable of, but I'm so glad for this little piece of absolute perfection. And, again, a top notch OST!

Fave Drama: Lost You Forever, by just a hair over A Journey to Love. See above.

Least Fave Drama: Royal Rumours--truly why did I finish this, what was past me thinking

Biggest Disappointment: 2023 is also the year I read Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir, my very first CNovel! But then I didn't even bother checking out its adaptation, Romance of a Twin Flower, because it got rid of everything that made the novel such an addicting read, including a brilliant, strategic, ice cold FL and an ML who actually kind of sucked at the beginning, only to grow on you very, very slowly over time. I'm grateful that the chatter around the drama is what brought the novel to my attention, but other than that, hard pass.

Favorite Male Character: Lots of good ones this year, but I'm gonna go with Cang Xuan (Zhang Wan Yi) from Lost You Forever. The conflict he faces between getting enough power to protect the people he loves the most and that power making him incompatible with those loved ones is so compelling, and his yearning for Xiao Yao even when she's right in front of him is wrenching. Full disclosure, I also just really love the sound of his voice

Favorite Female Character: This could easily have gone to Li Susu (TTEOTM), Xiao Yao (LYF), or Ren Ruyi (AJTL), but I'm gonna go with Bai Lu's Xiang Xue Ning in The Story of Kunning Palace. Something I really loved about this character was just how jaded Xue Ning really was, even in her second go round at life. Yeah, she wants to make amends for the harm done in her previous rise to power, but that has hardly turned her into a good--or even pleasant--person. Instead, she's incredibly skeptical and still plays most things ice cold, especially with her family. As a bonus, we got plenty of Bai Lu's fantastic side eye as she basically had to do high school all over again when she gets called into the palace despite her very best efforts not to be.

Favorite Ship: Ren Ruyi and Yuan Zhao from A Journey to Love have got to be it. They balance each other out so well, and over the course of the drama, learn to communicate effectively with each other whenever they have a problem. They also recognize that not all problems can be solved by ~love~, which makes their relationship even more compelling when they decide to prioritize each other in a way that respects what the other wants from life.

Favorite Secondary Ship: Little princess Yang Ying and Yuan Lu absolutely broke stole my heart in A Journey to Love. Doomed love even more than the main OTP, these two's youthful romance was such much fun to watch, especially as they egged their respective mentors on in their own romance. Yang Ying's recognition that her first love did not have to be her only love is also something I always love to see, even as it broke my heart that (spoiler) she and Yuan Lu never really had a chance at an HEA. Their relationship really exemplified a key theme of this drama: that you should love the people you love while they're still with you because tomorrow is never promised.

Non-2023 Dramas that I Watched: Two non-2023 dramas I watched that deserve a special shout out are Love and Redemption and The Sword and the Brocade. Love and Redemption prepared me to really appreciate the big swings that Till the End of the Moon took, and The Sword and the Brocade went a little way to filling the Story of Ming Lan shaped hole in my heart. The Sword and the Brocade also had absolutely searing critique of the concubine system, even as it featured one of the most genuinely good-hearted FLs I've seen. Would recommend both!

Most Looking Forward To: Yes, I'm a sucker and the censors (not to mention the characters) will probably break my heart, but I'm still crossing my fingers that Lost You Forever S2 will live up to the promise of part one. See above: still a CDrama beginner, have not yet had all the optimism knocked out of me. Sue me.

[chameleoncharm]

Aug 2024 News!

Hello hello! Meant to get this up a bit sooner, but had some family things come up and I've been down with Covid the last bit of time. If you're a paid member, this will sound like a repeat of things I said a little earlier this month, but please bear with me, as I try and get everyone caught up with my plans. First off, major apologies again for falling off the face of the Earth the last... bit of time. Life has been hectic, but in between the crazy, I've managed to catch a few moments to come up with game plans for the comic. I won't go over everything right now, but just cover the up and coming things on the docket. The biggest thing to note coming up in the next month though is the relaunch of the comic.

I've been putting together a new home for Chameleon Charm over on ComicFury. You can actually view it here: https://chameleoncharm.thecomicseries.com/

There's no pages up yet and the extra pages - like the Cast and Fan Art pages and the like - aren't fully functional yet. I'm not actually very good at coding, or rather no good at all, cause I know nothing about code, so it's been a struggle getting the page to look the way I want it. It looks pretty good now though, so hopefully nothing breaks going forward, hahah. If it does, it because of my spaghetti coding and I apologize. Anyway, the plan is that starting Sept 18 - the comic's 12th year anniversary - I will be re-releasing the comic over on the new ComicFury page. I hope to get my custom domain to point to the ComicFury soon, though the Tumblr will remain up, for archival reasons/purposes. What I mean by a re-release is that I will be trickling out all the past pages over the next bit of time; all five chapters. There will be minor differences, as I'm doing some editing on the pages to readability and consistency, will some minor art edits.

The release schedule will be Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday and once I get everything posted, will revert to the Tuesday and Friday release schedule I had back in the old days when I was hosted on Cup of Comics.

With what I have in terms of page count, for Chapters 1-5, it should neatly gets us to September of 2025, where then, I will finally start getting into Chapter 6, for real. I know that's still a long time, but this way, I have a built in buffer and time frame in which to work. Since I've gone on hiatus because of life and writer's block, I had not solid time frame in which to get back on the horse, so I'm setting one with the relaunch. So, short form, the plan is this: - Starting Sept 18, 2024, I will release Chapters 1-5 on the new ComicFury webpage, with a "new" page released on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays - By Sept 18, 2025, I should have things all set to roll smoothly into the long awaited Chapter 6

I've alluded to this before, but really, the time to think things through as really actually helped when it's come to story developments. Handing things on a page-by-page basis really wasn't a good idea, but hey, when I started the comic, I was young, dumb, and stupid and didn't know better. I'm older now so like to think I've learned some kind of lesson, lol. Anyway, the rest of the month is dedicated to the aforementioned edits so I can get pages queued up. I hope you'll enjoy revisiting the series through this relaunch and maybe have fun playing a game of Find the Difference on what I change. Again, they won't be big changes, but you know; for those people who like to keep track of such things (one reason why the Tumblr will remain). All I ask (aside from beseeching more of your continued patience and support, which I am eternally grateful for) is for you guys to help spread the word of the comic's release. I'll be putting up posts on the social media pages whenever a page goes live on the ComicFury (see here for all the official Chameleon Charm social media pages) and if you could like and share them around to get the comic in front of fresh, new eyes, that would be extremely helpful. But that's all for me for right now! I'll check in with everyone next month when the relaunch finally happens and to celebrate the 12th Year Anniversary. I'm sorry again for the absence, but I hope the stuff I have planned for the future will be worth it. I've been doing a lot in terms of world building and story development and I can't wait to share it all with you. Thank you again for your continued patience and support. For advanced news and behind the scenes, consider joining the Patreon! Take care now! - Fil

[traineecryptid]

NPSS Weibo Q&A (20240831) Part 6

This is a Q&A session held on Weibo. People will tag their questions with the hashtag #南派三叔藏海花在线答疑# (#NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A#) and NPSS will look through the tag to pick some to answer. The event started at 1500 hours on 2024 August 31st.

Folder with screenshots and big compilation google doc is here. Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here.

1847

Q: Shu, how would you like us to treat the DMBJ dramas and the novels? Are they parallel universes? For example, the Sha Hai drama had an ending while the novel didn't. Also a lot of novels have characters that haven't appeared in the novels. 

A: Usually, I view the novels as the real world and the dramas as a version that the characters in the stories tell others. There's two good things about this. 1. It can explain all sorts of differences between the novel and the drama. 2. It allows the dramas to present extra emotion that the characters have when retelling the story. By looking at how a person retells their own story, you can see how they see themselves and this story.

1902

Q: Sanshu, will you do a drama adaptation of Sea of Lights? That one is really scary. But I’ll say this first, if you are going to make an adaptation, you must finish writing it first, okay?

A: Do you like scary scenes? I thought everyone wouldn’t be scared anymore.

1913

Q:Can you talk about the casting? What’s the deciding factor or what changed that ended up with this Xiaoge and Wu Xie being cast?

A: The entire process from Naive Wu Xie to ZHH Wu Xie to Sha Hai Wu Xie is too difficult. Wu Xie’s luck ended when ZHH Wu Xie ended.

1936

#Zang Hai Hua# I’ll ask everyone a question. Between the two storylines in ZHH, do you like Wu Xie’s storyline or Zhang Qiling’s storyline?

2011

Everyone please give some practical responses, okay? (T/N: There were an amount of people responding with “Pingxie’s storyline!” to the previous post.)

2031

Q: How many times has Zhang Qiling guarded the Bronze Gate? Has Zhang Haiyan guarded the gate with him before? [Excerpt of Blind Tomb: Little Brother Zhang? Could it be that in one of the ten years in the past, he was the one who accompanied Menyouping into the Gate?]

A: Nope. You’re overthinking it.

2031

Q: Has Tu Dian done something to Xie Yuchen causing Hei Xiazi to hate him?

A: Hei Xiazi knows that this man’s bottom line is too low and he also doesn’t fear death.

2033

Q: Bing, they only want you to answer their questions. I’m different. I only care if you’re tired from answering so many questions every day. (With deep emotions)

A: I think there are too few questions and there is too much repetition. I want to see strange questions.

2051

#NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A# Everyone go watch the drama first. I want to write an update first. I’ll come back and continue later.

20240901

0129

Q: Speak!! Sanshu! Good evening (Very loudly)

A: Coming right up.

0145

Q: Where is the update you wrote? 

A: It will auto-post at 12pm tomorrow.

0152

Q: Sanshu, would you consider writing a guzhuang mystery drama with the Five Succulent Beef? (T/N: this is the group name for: Wu Xie, Xiaoge, Pangzi, Xiao Hua and Xiazi) I think it would be very interesting.

A: Is this the dream about the five famous investigators? Godly Investigator Wordless, Godly Investigator Sight-less, Godly Investigator Dustless, Godly Investigator Joyless, Godly Investigator Thin-less. 

0156

Q: If Zhang Haixia survived and met Wu Xie, how would they interact with each other? What identity would Zhang Haixia use and how would he participate in the Ten Year Plan?

A:”Are you the one who makes others worry or the one who worries about others?” Zhang Haixia asked. Wu Xie didn’t know how to answer at that moment. 

“Both at different times, I guess,” Wu Xie said after giving it a thought. “That’s making others worry,” Zhang Haixia said.

0213

Q: Sanshu, why isn’t Xiaoge midlane solo? I feel like both Wu Xie and Pang-ye are the Iron Triangle’s top-middle jungler. Walking around providing help, starting the team fight and setting the tempo, DPS carry, sitting at the most important location on the map, excelling in every area. If Wu Xie and Xiaoge partner up for the bottom lane, would they get into an argument? Is Aphelios the most suitable AD for Xiaoge? A: Xiaoge appears and disappears whenever. If this isn’t jungle-ing, what is it? If the midlane solo keeps walking around, [the others] might go nuts. 

0218

Q: Lei, I’m getting you. I’ve been posting for the entire day. Tell me Zhang Haiyan and Zhang Haixia’s first impression of each other. 

A: Is he going to snatch my food? —Zhang Haiyan

He’s so skinny. I’ll give him half of mine. But is it too much? I’m hungry too. —Zhang Haixia

90 posts and we've passed the 1st day mark of q&a! also yes npss was answering questions at 2am. but the best part of this section of q&a is the appearances of the southern archives characters! so fun! if i manage to get a good chunk translated tomorrow, i'll do another double update... but we shall see...

[analyzing-people-like-hell]

saw your recent post in the sanders sides tag - here goes:

Some of these are more fun-to-watch than relates-to-me, but I figure listing ‘em all will give you more to work with.

Listed in alphabetical order, except as needed to group sources together.

Alastor, Hazbin Hotel (show)

- He’s charming, confident, very good in his chosen field, and also happens to be AroAce. He appreciates jokes, but can also be intimidating.

Cayde-6, Destiny (game)

- Quick wit, quick shot. Always fun to hear his dialogue during missions and strikes. The kinda guy you’d go to for a good story (or if you’re lookin’ for extra paperwork to do).

Crow, Destiny (game)

- Good guy, interesting situation (read: tragic backstory). Not exactly doomed-by-the-narrative, but…

The Doctor (10th), Doctor Who (show)

- Honestly, not sure why. He’s just fun to watch. (Also, he has a very distinct/memorable way of phrasing things)

Data, Star Trek: The Next Generation (show)

- Yes, I’m Autistic; How’d you guess? (/j) Honestly though, having a discussion with him about humanity/social behaviors/other things would be SO interesting!

Odo, Star Trek: Deep Space 9 (show)

- If Odo and I were in the same room, I don’t think there’d be much talking. But, in a two-introverts-who-got-dragged-to-the-same-party-and-are-avoiding-the-humans-together kind of way. Companionable silence.

Spock, Star Trek: The Original Series (show)

- He’s just cool. (also a HUGE childhood influence towards logical thinking)

Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly (show)

- Protective of his crew, “Has a conscience, and hates it,” no-nonsense, practical thinker, quick wit, stubborn.

Simon Tam, Firefly (show)

- Very good at what he does (doctor), smart, stands by what he believes in (“when you’re on my table, you’re safe”), and who he cares about (his sister).

River Tam, Firefly (show)

- …River is a mood. Specifically, a “leave me alone, I can’t talk now, my brain is full of bees” mood.

Seth, Lost Terminal (podcast)

- He’s an AI who used to live in a satellite, and made his way down to a post-collapse Earth so he could talk to people. He often mentions the intricacies and confusing nuances of human communication, his distrust of plants and salt, and the fact that humans are quite fond of bread and beer.

Susan Ivanova, Babylon 5 (show)

- “No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow.”

Michael Garibaldi, Babylon 5 (show)

- If any of the main cast could’ve broken the fourth wall, it would have been him. I don’t know what that says about his character, but it feels right.

Virgil Sanders, Sanders Sides (YouTube series)

- He’s the personification of (Thomas’) Anxiety, but he can be quite brave when he needs to be. When he’s under pressure/more anxious/needs to be listened to, he’ll act more abrasive, but he has a softer side (heh side) he shows when safe. He’s also the secondary brain cell holder of the main cast.

Logan Sanders, Sanders Sides (YouTube series)

- The brain cell (/pos). Also seems to be going through… gifted-kid-burnout-angst-stuff, for lack of a better term. Also nicknamed the Mom of the group, though someone pointed out that he didn’t choose that title for himself, which I thought was interesting.

Janus Sanders, Sanders Sides (YouTube series)

- I think you already saw him in another ask, so I’ll be brief: “You’re not stuck with an ‘evil snake boy.’ *pose* You’re just stuck with a snake boy.”

…After typing this all out, I’ve noticed that most of these fall into one of three categories:

~Autism~ TM (/pos)

Competent, might be an asshole

Protecc/Attacc

I don’t know what that means, but it’s kinda funny.

Have fun!

ANALYSIS #4: 06/11/24

It's about time I start getting around to all these new test subjects. I apologize for the wait, but I'm more than ready to see what you have in store for me here, #4.

I'm not familiar with the majority of these characters, so this could very much be a hit or miss analysis.... Your descriptions definitely aided me a lot, so thank you for that. I guess we'll just have to wait and see if this ends up being accurate at all...

Why don't we see if I got your backstory right first? It's where everything originates, after all.

"LORE":

You seem to be an observer in this game of life. I feel like you've spent a large part of your existence on the outskirts of everything, and the times you have joined the outside world were never completely of your own volition.... You don't feel like you particularly fit in as a "human", yet at the same time everything you feel is all too human. I can imagine it gets pretty overwhelming, and you've probably gotten a lot of heat for it in your younger years. Maybe you didn't have many friends growing up, and the ones you did have probably didn't live up to your expectations of what "friendship" was supposed to be. Maybe you've had friends that took advantage of you and it didn't even click until the damage was already done, or you stuck it out because.. that's what friendship's supposed to be about, right? Maybe you were just left out in general, always the second option unless they needed something out of you. Who knows. There could be a lot variations of what happened in your childhood regarding relationships, but I'm guessing they didn't always make much sense to you. It's probably why you stay on the outskirts so much. If the world won't let you experience humanity for yourself, you can at least watch humanity from afar.

I have a feeling your home life wasn't all that great? It wasn't particularly terrible-- you're grateful for what you were given-- but you wish there were things that were done differently. I think this also plays into the whole "disconnect from people" bit. Maybe they cared for you, but it was clear they didn't understand you, and it can be a little hard to be grateful when somebody's care is always... a little off? If that's the case, I bet it probably feels worse knowing that you can't really blame them for not understanding. Things are probably better now as you've grown, but there are things that still sting just a bit. Also for some reason I think you were homeschooled.... No reason why, it just came to mind, and I've learned trusting my gut makes my analyses more accurate. I'd like to see if that ends up being true.

Another thing that my gut keeps telling me is that the tism is strong in this one. You've already confirmed that, but I specifically feel like (i'm assuming you're diagnosed based on how you phrased "yes, i'm autistic") you were either diagnosed at a pretty early age or you were late diagnosed (probably because of icky-ew gendered stereotypes in medical fields) and it explained a whole hell of a lot of your childhood, to the point where you're surprised you weren't diagnosed way earlier in life. Heavily leaning to the latter, by the way, but the first still has a 5 to 15% chance of standing. Either way, it depicts why you'd feel such a heavy disconnect from the people around you. It's as if everyone was given a script to life, meanwhile you're forced to improv it the whole way through. Do you see life as a game? How much time have you dedicated to perfecting your skills, believing that perfecting them would be the key to winning these petty social games? Are you sure you're not still lost? Just some food for thought.

Anyways, with that all in mind, let's see what really goes on inside that head of yours...

THE TRUTH:

You still resent the world in a way, don't you? I can't shake the thought that there's still a resentment buried inside you that's been bubbling for a while. Maybe it's lessened a bit, but you can still feel it resurface every now and then. It's as if sometimes a reminder will come your way and it's another crack added to that bottle you've been storing all your emotions in. Like another poke at the confines will unleash everything you've been working on trying to maintain. I don't think it's spilled over yet, but I think we both know it's certainly not far from tipping over. You surprise even yourself with how much you've managed so far.

Part of you has lost your vulnerability. I'm not sure when or how, but I think it goes back to that disconnect from people. I don't think you've met anybody who's completely understood you yet, which has probably led to constant misunderstanding from everyone else. That kind of persistent detachment is bound to make anyone lose parts of themselves. If that's what happened, I'm sorry they took that part away from you. You deserved to be yourself without being shot down over and over, you still deserve that. It really is a shame that the world is too blind to see the beautiful depth in your soul. Complexity is never a flaw. Complexity is rarely even "complex". The world just needs to learn how to appreciate you at your core, and I truly hope they're able to see that in you soon. 

In fact, why don't I detail some of the complex beauty that I can pinpoint? If the world can't see it, then it only makes sense if I spell it out for them.

YOUR BEST TRAITS:

You're very attentive. You also seem to have some pretty good wit. That not only makes you a really great analyst, but I think it'd make you a pretty great comforter too. You're able to analyze and recognize patterns in people, and you seem to still hold a great appreciation for people despite how isolated people have made you feel. Despite always feeling like an outcast, there's still a part of you that cares. Those are qualities that truly great comforters have. However, with how confusing relationships with other people can be sometimes, I can also see why that would hinder your ability for it and turn you away. Nevertheless, the foundation is still strong. You're still strong. Use that to your advantage. Take back the life that you deserved. Show them that you are not the painting they've made of you.

I just feel like you're really funny for some reason, and probably pretty chill while still being able to stand your own ground and opinions. That's a highly respectable mix of traits to have, at least in my eyes. You also for some reason remind me of that main guy from Magnus Archives. I've never listened to Magnus Archives though. All of the information I know about that podcast has come from random clips I've stumbled upon and rants from my friends who are into it. But from the information I have on him, I view him as a weird little autistic guy who's always a little tired, a little witty, maybe a little too obsessed with analyzing sometimes, also probably on the aroace spectrum. However, he's also a hard worker who-- when he cares about people-- he really cares about them, and if he likes you then you could probably drag him just about anywhere (even if he grumbles the whole way through). Now I have zero clue if any of that is true to his character, but I feel like it could maybe fit yours, and I at least think people like that are a pretty special find. 

Also, you're just a wee little guy. A little snake boi even.

And with that, I think I'll leave my thoughts here and take my bow.

With utmost gratitude (and hopefully utmost accuracy),

Dr. WZ

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

I posted 1,156 times in 2022

649 posts created (56%)

507 posts reblogged (44%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@neil-gaiman

@fuckyeahgoodomens

@ladydei

@ineffableandco

@lookitsstevie

I tagged 1,101 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#good omens - 377 posts

#gos2 - 366 posts

#season 2 - 307 posts

#bts - 167 posts

#neil gaiman - 147 posts

#fun fact - 143 posts

#ask - 138 posts

#❤ - 119 posts

#crowley - 109 posts

#david tennant - 107 posts

Longest Tag: 112 characters

#aziraphale fixing his bowtie and crowley greeting beelzebub as if they are not there to thwart the armageddon :d

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

From the DVD commentary, episode 1:

Neil: So, we're now in a Chinese restaurant.

Douglas: Now tell us about - are you going to tell us the story about you and Terry...

Neil: Yes, I will.

Douglas: I think that's important one.

Neil: I was gonna say our location is a Chinese restaurant we'd had turned into a sushi restaurant. So Terry and I, Terry Pratchett and I, had a standing... not even a standing joke, just a standing plan, that we were going to have sushi - there was going to be a scene in Good Omens where sushi was eaten and we were gonna be extras, we were gonna sit in the background, eating sushi while it was done. And I was so looking forward to this and, so I wrote this scene with it being sushi, even though Terry was gone, with that in mind and I thought: Oh, I'll sit and I'll eat lots of sushi as an extra, this will be my scene as an extra, I'll just be in the background. And then, on the day, or a couple of days before, I realized that I couldn't do it.

Douglas: You never told me this before either. I might have pushed you into doing it, had I known. I think you were right not to tell me.

Neil: I was keeping it to me self 'cause I was always like: Oh, maybe I'll be... this will be my cameo. And then I couldn't. I was just so sad, 'cause Terry wasn't there. And it was probably the day that I missed Terry the most of all of the filming - it was just this one scene 'cause it was written for Terry and all of the sushi meals we'd ever had and all of the strange way that sushi ran through Good Omens.

10,833 notes - Posted April 6, 2022

#4

11,122 notes - Posted December 1, 2022

#3

See the full post

11,217 notes - Posted October 7, 2022

#2

Micheal Sheen was originally cast as Crowley

(I will never tire of hearing this 🥰)

Neil Gaiman: The truth is that Michael was meant to have played Crowley. That was where it all began: was me going, 'Who do I know who could be Crowley? Michael Sheen loves the book, Michael would do it.', called Michael, do you want to do it, and he's like, 'Yes!', I thought, 'Great, I have a Crowley.'. So when I started writing the scripts, I was writing them going I know I have - at least I have my Crowley, I have Michael Sheen. And around the middle of Episode 3, I was going, 'This Crowley doesn't really feel a lot like Michael Sheen.', and I wrote this sceen when Crowley comes down the center aisle of a church hopping like a man on a beach on a hot day 'cause it's walking on holy ground and I thought, 'David Tennant would be really good at that, I could get David Tennant.', and then when it was all done I figured I had to break it to Michael, that he wasn't going to be Crowley, that I wanted him to be Aziraphale, and he read the scripts, and we had this really really awkward dinner, that because I was trying to pluck the courage to break it to Michael that I wanted him to play Aziraphale, and Michael was trying to find the way to break it to me that he did not want to play Crowley that he wanted to play Aziraphale having read the scripts. So it was an awful dinner until the end where we just like, 'Oh, you too?! Oh! Oh, good! Well I'm thinking of David Tennant, oh good you like him. Okay.' So it became a lot easier at that moment.

11,437 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

14,431 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sapphire-weapon]

The thing about Resident Evil, though, is that “from the beginning” can mean one of two different things. You can start from the beginning with Resident Evil (1996) on PSX, I suppose, but Resident Evil 0 (2002) is chronologically the earliest point in the series.

And, in my opinion, starting with either of those games is a bad idea if you’re coming in from RE4.

I’m going to give you two viable paths through RE, and you can choose the one that you think would work better for you personally.

If you came into Resident Evil through RE4make (and/or OG RE4), and you are only interested in seeing Leon’s story before going into the wider canon, this is the path you take:

Resident Evil 2 & Resident Evil 2 Remake (it doesn’t matter which one you do first, but you should do both. RE2make cuts some shit that’s actually really super important.)

Google search “Resident Evil 3 Leon epilogue.” It’s a single image. Just read it.

Darkside Chronicles (game)

Congrats, you are now up to date with everything (important) that happened to Leon pre-RE4, and you now have a better context for who he is/what he does in that game. From there, the canon timeline for Leon’s appearances then goes:

Degeneration (movie)

Infinite Darkness (Netflix series)

Damnation (movie)

Resident Evil 6 (game)

Vendetta (movie)

Death Island (movie) (releasing in July)

And that’s it. You’re up to date with Leon’s story, and now you can go through the rest of the games at your leisure. The good news is that Leon is in every single canon CGI movie that’s been released, so you don’t have to worry about tracking down anything other than games in order to go into the wider canon once you’ve reached this point.

If you came into Resident Evil through RE4make (and/or OG RE4), and you want to go through the canon because you’re interested in the world and not necessarily hyperfixating on Leon, I actually suggest going backwards and out of order. These are the steps that I would take in order for the series to make the most sense as you’re going through it:

Resident Evil 2 & Resident Evil 2 Remake (again: do both). Doing this gives you more context for RE4, and it introduces you to Claire and makes you aware of who Chris is.

(optional) Resident Evil: Outbreak. Nothing that happens in this game matters, and you’ll never see any of these characters again. This is the only non-essential RE title that I’ll mention, and only because Kevin Ryman is delightful and was supposed to be the guy training Leon if Leon had ever actually started work for real.

Resident Evil Remake. Ignore RE1 on PSX. It’s been erased from canon and overwritten by REmake. This now gives you the setup for why Chris wasn’t in Raccoon City when Claire went looking for him, introduces you to him, and also the rest of the recurring main cast. It will also explain to you who Wesker is; he’s the guy who was talking to Ada in the post-credits scene in RE4make (and who called Leon a dog over and over lmao).

Resident Evil 0. This tells you how Rebecca got to where she was when you meet her in REmake and finishes fleshing out STARS and Wesker for you. By the time you’re done with RE0, you’ll have a full understanding of who the main players all are and how this all started.

Resident Evil 3. Original or Remake. Doesn’t matter, really. I recommend the remake just because Carlos is hot in that version and the game is overall more palatable, but the changes that happen between OG and remake don’t really matter in the way the changes between RE2/RE2make matter.

Code Veronica X. Now that everyone’s out of Raccoon City, the next event chronologically is Claire continuing her search for Chris (and finally finding him).

Umbrella Chronicles followed by Darkside Chronicles. This is just to cap off the Raccoon City saga. Most of what these two games are are recaps of all the games you just went through, but there are extra bits in there that are important. Like, the original version of Operation Javier is shown in Darkside Chronicles -- and, once you see it, you’ll understand why RE old guard says that it’s been changed and retconned in RE4make. The rest of this list is just how the series then unfolds chronologically, because we are now caught up to Resident Evil 4.

Degeneration (movie)

Infinite Darkness (Netflix series)

Revelations 1 (game)

Resident Evil 5 (game)

Damnation (movie)

Revelations 2 (game)

Resident Evil 6 (game)

Vendetta (movie)

Death Island (movie, but not out yet, so it’s okay if you go past it until it releases lmao)

Resident Evil 7 (game)

Resident Evil 8/Village (game)

And that’s it. That is the list of essential RE canon. Everything else in this series is just a spinoff that’s there for funsies, and some of it explicitly is not canon. If you want to be a complete and utter crazy person and go through it all, feel free, but I promise you that you don’t need to know who Morpheus D. Duvall is (nor do you want to), or about that dude who fucked that spider in Gun Survivor 2 (though it is the funniest bit of RE lore to pull out and shock people with. DUDE PUT HIS DICK IN A SPIDER).

Good luck and god bless.

[manonamora-if]

March Check-In

Lol. We definitely were not back on track here. We tried and SUPER FAILED at going back to the schedule.

Will March be better? Let's find out together...

Onto the usual index:

Recap of last month’s progress

IF Events in the Next Month

Plan for the next month

Still long post under the break. If you want a mini version, head over to itch.io!

February Progress

Welp... there wasn't much of a list in the January Check-in, since it was the retrospective, which included the yearly plan. Still, I did make a mini one on itch. Put together we'd get:

Play more IF and maybe review. ✅

Finish the coding of Harcourt Ch5 ❌ and editing of Ch6 ❌

Fix one of the semi-completed games: ❌

Complete the Vamp/Smoochie jam entry✅

Heyyyy 50/50. Passable grade!

I've passed the very funny number of 420 reviews on the IFDB recently, mainly working my way through the French games (since there are very few reviews and French IF peeps are neat people). There are 300+ games left on that side, it will take me a while to get there but I'm making progress (almost done with 2023!). If my pace continues... I might be able to reach 2nd place in the ranking before my 1 year anniversary of reviewing games (mid-may). Also somewhat related, I've been trying to rate more games on itch too :)

I said I would finish the coding of Harcourt... and then didn't. But MelS was more productive than me, and he finished the first draft of Chapter 6 earlier than planned... which I haven't finished commenting on either... So :/

I also didn't fix any semi-completed games. So there.

But I managed to make it for the Queer Vampire Jam and the Smoochie Jam with Teatime with a Vampire ! A 20k-long trippy game with a hot vampire and a weird show...

AND AND I finally fixed my website and my itch.io profile. It has a cool feature on the front page. And we did a little AMA a few weeks ago!

Honestly, I thought I would have been done with Teatime two weeks before it actually was completed. So that threw a wrench in the rest. And probably having to moderate a few events at once...

And the extra day clearly didn't help.

EDIT: I TOTES FORGOT, but I updated DOL-OS for an extra QOL screen at the start.

What’s happening in March?

There's always something happening in the IF world. I don't think I ever find all that happens anyway... but. Here's the ones I know!

Today is the last day to submit a Spring Thing intent! (ranked)

he Queer Vampire Game Jam ends in about three weeks. Got a vampire/human story with a LGBT+ cast? Then this is the event for you! (unranked) Also they are doing a fundraising/matching donation with submissions!

The SeedComp! (Sprouting) extended the deadline for a few more days! See @seedcomp-if for more info ;) (ranked)

Concours de Fiction Interactive Francophone 2024 se termine Lundi! Viendez faire des histoires en français!! <3 (ranked, duh)

The next @neointeractives mini-jam will all be about bringing back old jams... Check out the Revival Jam !

The Text Adventure Literacy Jam 2024 just started! It will be looking for "parser for beginners" entries until May!

Note: @neointeractives will have jams all year long. One a month/or so. And the next Planting Round of @seedcomp-if will start as soon as the results are dropped.

The PLANtm for March

Busy plan once again. Here are the thing I'm hoping to do or finish this month:

Complete my French Comp entry. The deadline is in 3 days. Will I make it? Probably. Will it be good? Probably be not because I've been writing it only in the past two weeks. You can expect some "love" letters though...

Complete my SpringThing entry. It will be all about fixing typos and potential bug. The code will be ready next week anyway. Maybe slap some cool-er animations.

Play more games! Consider this done. There's the Smoochie Jam, the SeedComp! and the FrenchComp right there...

Finish the Code Ch5 of Harcourt and edit Ch6. At least one round of edits would be good. So I can put MelS to work again.

Finish fixing The Roads Not Taken. I'm so sorry babe. I'm not avoiding you I swear. I actually haven't bee on the computer with your files this month...

LET'S DO THIS! WE CAN DO IT!

~

The 2024 To-Do List:

I have done nothing here. So here's the list again for nothing.

The hopefully maybe easy to handle To-Do:

fix the bugs in EDOC + overall the French version to match

fix the bugs of TRNT + find a way to add the missing pieces (giving up on the translation)

fixing the interface of LPM and the popups + check animal interactions

figure out the One-Button JavaScrip/jQuery issue...

edit the loading screens of the completed tiny games to include the program/format logo at least.

The 'Need a Bunch of Content to update but it's planned!' To-Do:

Update my website (bunch new title - also I don't think the logo clicky thing work...) + redo my itch page

Finish TTATEH (MelS dependent - this year should be it - for real)

Finish Exquisite Cadaver (half-way mark by this summer - manif)

Finish P-Rix - Space Trucker (main path at least)

Update CRWL (it's been almost two years... I'm getting ashamed)

The Unlikely But it Would be Dope To-Do

Finish The Dinner as it was planned (and translate)

Finish In the Blink of an Eye as it was planned (and retranslate)

Finish The Rye in the Dark City

Fixing TTTT (at least fixing, maybe try adding some storylets)

And finally The 'It's impossible, but one can wish' TO-DO:

Remaster SPS IH (if I managed to start this after completing the rest... I'm going to eat a whole sheet cake).

Start the IFComp project (2025? Might end up being a ST?)

[crazyassmurdererwall]

tagged by @cinematicnomad to post 7 comfort movies. (i would like you to know i struggle with lists like this because my autistic brain very much wants me to be AS PRECISE AS POSSIBLE and i only learned very recently that neurotypical people don’t worry about that?? they just…answer without worrying if they’re picking their top 7 comfort movies?? they just…pick 7 movies and move on with their life?? wild.)

1. spotlight. kat and i have this one in common, and for good reason - it’s just so. damn. satisfying. people who do bad things get called out on their bad stuff and people who had been ignored get heard. it’s (in my opinion) one of the most re-watchable dramas out there. and man…such a good cast.

2. howl’s moving castle. look, probably most of the studio ghibli movies could make this list, but howl is the one i turn to the most because the whimsical, fun, warm vibes of this movie feel like a HUG. the growth of all of the characters makes me smile and you just want to FALL into this movie. i absolutely want to take a walk through some hills and find myself at the door of a wacky castle with a super hot wizard, thanks very much.

3. major league. i asked my younger brother once how many times we’ve seen this movie and he laughed and said, “oh man…at least a couple dozen.” you have to understand this movie is a solid piece of the foundation of my childhood. we only had the basic stations when i was a kid and this movie was on on saturday afternoons constantly. CONSTANTLY. i can probably quote the entire thing from memory. there’s something about a baseball movie that always makes me feel like i’m living in an endless summer afternoon, like i have nowhere else to go, nothing else to do. it’s an unsurpassed vibe: just baseball and a warm afternoon that never ends.

4. 10 things i hate about you. another endlessly quotable movie - and one i share with my sister. also our dad loves it - and quotes it to me too. there isn’t a lot to say for this one other than sometimes a movie comes along and it’s just yours, you know? this is one of mine. when my sister had her oldest child i bought her a tiny red izod polo shirt and she immediately asked, “did you buy this from an outlet mall?” YES. I ABSOLUTELY DID AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN PROUDER RO BE YOUR SISTER THAN IN THIS MOMENT, RIGHT NOW.

5. rudy. if there’s something i think everyone needs to know about me, it’s this: i love inspirational sports movies. LOVE THEM. absolutely cannot get enough. do i know exactly what the filmmaker is doing to me every time i hear sweeping music and someone starts running in slo-mo? oh yeah. abso-fucking-lutely. do i care? not the smallest bit. in fact i lean into that shit. rudy is one of the best ones and it also gets extra bonus points because for a long time it was the only movie i ever cried at. that’s not hyperbole. people would refuse to watch it with me because i’d always be reduced to a blubbering mess by the end. HE’S SO LITTLE. AND THEY CARRY HIM OFF THE FIELD. give me a break. i’m not made of stone.

6. steel magnolias. the hallmarks of this list are a) i have watched this movie at least a dozen times, b) this movie has a VIBE, and c) this movie is insanely quotable. this movie passes all three with flying colors. the cast is absolutely stellar, and this community of women who love and support each other is just…THE ACTUAL BEST. but also: it has dolly. DOLLY. “what size shoe do you wear?” “well, i wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, i buy a size eight.” perfection. PERFECTION.

7. ocean’s eleven. you know how i love an inspirational sports movie? I LOVE A HEIST MOVIE. like LOVE. the whole genre is smart and fun, and ocean’s eleven is also stylish and funny and just a fantastic fucking time. it has an insane cast and a great soundtrack and it’s just so GOOD. so so good. it’s a film told with a wink that manages to carry the best part of 50s/60s swag into the 00s, and we are all the better for it.

i tag: @tattooedsiren, @machtaholic, @smowkie , @itsactuallycorrine , @caroandcats , @elisela , and @missanniewhimsy and whoever else wants to do this. it’s a fun one.

[jones-friend]

So I looked through Strixhaven Commander earlier

Theres a lot of rad cards and weird things in that set. So much gets churned out, I wanted to bring up 10 cards worth pennies from C21 that are worth picking up for your binder.

These are NOT price speculations. These are cards I think play interestingly and are fun for the format.

Artifact decks LOVE cracking small artifacts open for different ones. There’s a kind of wheel and deal with them, using goblins or trading post to bust em open for something new. Audacious Reshapers is a great new card for the category, producing a new artifact with another left in the gy for recursion. Great for Ichor Wellsprings and the like to crunch em down for a random but likely more useful thing. And if it ain’t great crunch it down again!

The technique cycle is rad. I think white is the only one I hesitate on. Demonstrate is great and often well worth the extra copy. I feel using the word Interaction to describe removal is being a bit too broad. Removal does’t cover all of interaction, interaction can go beyond removal. I will creative technique a player who is behind and jumpstart their strat to keep from having to solo the stronger player. This card is a red Unexpected Results that can be discounted down to R and works well with Prosper and other cast from exile strats.

This is more interaction I think people should run. Ideally you use this if you can manipulate the top of your deck or have a high mv. You get more cards drawn in the game and you start chipping life totals faster. It comes out turn 2 and each turn after you draw 2 before you start playing things. I’m a big fan, plus you get insight on what your opponents are drawing.

This card is clunky at 5 and lots of things you’ll want to cast hurt your life total a good deal, AND its still (1)B. This card is not the most ideal. Its strong if you have life to spare like orzhov lifegain or life to waste like Greven Predator Captain. Not ideal, not perfect, but this card will enable something nutty in the future. Its gonna be bonkers when it happens.

Essentially a Epic Experiment in blue, Talrand decks get access to whats usually an izzet brand. Its easy to see only casting one card as a downside but really this card digs for a lot of spells then allows you to use one now and keep the rest for later. Great when your spells have delicate timings. Also less likely to be counterspelled than Epic Experiment is.

Paradox Zone is huge. The first turn you play it the card makes a 2/2 then next turn a 4/4. What makes this card stand out to me is its dual counter nature. The card itself doubles counters, then the tokens it produces have power represented in counters. That is NUTS with any proliferate. If you drop this and get a 2/2, then next turn Proliferate, you will double 3 counters into 6 and make a 6/6 then tick up your 2/2 into a 3/3. Proliferate makes this card pop off and it can be played the turn after you drop Atraxa. With how much counter based keyword tech there is its easy to juice these too. This card can make some wild tokens very quickly.

Reinterpret has quickly become my favorite counterspell. You can literally get a turn ahead of your opponent with it. The card you cast doesn’t need to share a typing, it just needs to be equal or less mana. This card is ideal for helping spellslinger set up key pieces before popping off, and it can be discounted to UR letting you counter with one blue mana.

We’d mentioned cracking artifacts earlier. Grinder is a 7/4 menace so you can swing big to deal damage. Its also got mountaincycling so you can discard it to pull a shockland with intent to recur this later. Most importantly you can crack it for a wheel. I find wheeling in monoR artificer to be HUGE. And as a creature you can easily slot it into reanimator builds or sacrifice builds. Its a multipurpose card that refills your hand!

Im shocked by how little I see this card. This is a card that ends games. This is a card I ended a game with tonight. Spellslinger is an archetype that’s perceived as being creature light, and I think that’s false. Talrand, Murmuring Mystic, Alandra, Unlikely Alliance, Shark Typhoon, Metallurgic Summons, Manaform Hellkite, Zaffai, there’s so many ways to spawn tokens off casts its nuts. Getting the damage buff is already good, getting to copy spells is great, getting to freecast is insane. That’s two magecraft triggers per spell. Tonight I exiled Magma Opus and Ignite the Future giving my dudes +12/+0. And the freecast triggers all your Talrand and Metallurgic Summons again! I prefer this over Mizzix Mastery. MM takes forever to resolve and doesnt move the game along unless you win with storm. Victory buffs your dudes, motivates play through combat, and can lead to a nutty level of casting. Also look at that pest. He’s goin so FAST.

Its simple. (2)U, copy a dude. Usually your opponent will stop playing dudes, but there’s a few cases where they’ll be unable to. Primal Surge, Genesis Wave, Sudden Disappearance, Living Death, Rise of the Dark Realms, and the best part is you don’t steal it, the threat level is lower and the game can continue. Theoretical Duplication is a great warding card, one that joins in on a crazy turn rather than stops it. I run it in my Riku hugs so I can copy the spell to get 2 dudes for each 1 you get. It is a potent and underrated pick at just 3 mana.

[hologramcowboy]

Interesting tidbits from my deep dive:

• rumors about Danneel being banned from SPN set dating as far back as 2008

• Neil Patrick Harris hated Danneel, apparently she was a huge bitch behind the scenes on both How I Met Your Mother (she was in one episode, s4e5, which aired in 2008) and the Harold and Kumar movies (she played Kumar’s girlfriend and had a small role in all three movies)

• Danneel bullying extras and other cast members (only girls of course) on the set of OTH. These rumors date all the way back to her very first appearance (season 3) in 2005, so pre Jensen meaning her stans can’t really attribute the rumors to jealousy

• Rumors about Danneel hating Gen // being jealous of her dating all the way back to 2009. Not shocking given that neither of them attended each others wedding and didn’t really start interacting until J+D moved to Austin, but I was a little surprised because for a few years (2015/16 until the end of SPN) it seemed like people were dead set on the narrative that they were friends

• Finally found those lesbian rumors! Dating back to 2008, people were convinced that she was dating Elizabeth Harnois because she brought EH with her everywhere (notably to the My Bloody Valentine Premiere and on a trip to Australia with Jensen) and EH has been a rumored lesbian for a very long time. Found a taptalk board about closeted lesbian actresses from 2013 and EH was a very big topic (and beloved by lesbians apparently). I wasn’t even aware that EH was famous enough to garner that kind of attention

And weirdly enough, the most interesting tidbits didn’t involve Danneel at all. The first is pretty relevant given how often Jensen has been speaking about all the opportunities he missed due to SPN, and the answer is apparently not that many. He wanted to break into the movie scene and film during SPN’s break from filming, but was unsuccessful and not happy about it. Would try out for things/have his name thrown out there, and wasn’t getting anything back which caused a rift between him and his agent. Jared on the other hand apparently had a decent amount of offers, specifically for action movies. Notable roles were lead role in Conan the Barbarian (2011) and Poseidon in The Immortals (2011). Inclined to believe this rumor based on a few factors. The rumor about off season work for J2 was posted back in 2009, and the poster claimed to work for the CW. All of their other posts (mostly about Gossip Girl and Dawn Ostroff who was the president of the CW at the time) have proven to be true, so I don’t think they would randomly lie about this one thing. Then you have Jared himself, who really bulked up in seasons 4-6 of SPN and had the perfect action hero physique. Why put in all that work unless you’re prepping for potential roles?

The second rumor is something that I had never heard before, and it’s about Jensen. It’s something that I think a lot of people don’t want to hear/are going to push back against, so I want to do a bit more research before bringing it back out of obscurity. The Ackles really do love to bury things…

A little disclaimer, all of this is obviously gossip and with all gossip we have to take things with a grain of salt. And for those that are curious, I found all of this information on old livejournal boards, datalounge threads, now defunct fan forums and blogs. Obviously these places aren’t great sources and won’t be passing any academic scrutiny, but gossip isn’t the most regulated field. I had to sift through a lot of J2 timhatting and obvious fanfiction, but there were some gems. My process for whether or not something was legitimate enough to include was how often it’s been mentioned throughout the years, what point in the timeline it was introduced, if someone was claiming to have insider have their claims been proven true in the years leading up to now, if any proof was attached, how biased the post was (if it was clearly a Jensen/Jared stan trying to discredit or take down the other I wrote it off), and my own discerning eye for potential truths (I’ve worked in archives, have a degree in history, am currently working on my masters and have been honing my gossip researching/lie detecting skills since I read my first tabloid as a preteen).

Her set track record matches her lack of credits currently. People don't want to work with arrogant actors. My guess is she burned a lot of bridges by acting like a b and also by acting badly, let's face it she has no talent and no technique so her career only went as far as her fake boobs took her.

Really curious about the Jensen part now, if you feel like sharing please know I can keep the secret.

Thank you for sharing all of that, I loved reading it and I love how you wisely added a disclaimer to it as well.

[kinkandkreep]

Another Doramai Blurb (this time featuring angst because the brainrot never stops 🫠)

Doramai angst! Doramai angst!

I had started working on this concept as a full story to post on my ao3 (which is GoddessLegendary if anyone was interested) but as I've decided to focus on other pursuits for now, I will instead be sharing the general idea as a blurb here.

So basically, we boutta combine essentially all of my favorite tropes and themes into one story, and feature one of my favorite ships at the center of it.

Draken has developed Hanahaki disease.

No one knows, and if someone were to discover this, they would be incredibly confused because he and Mikey are married, and seem to be more in love than they ever have been.

At least, that's the image they maintain.

The truth is, Mikey has been cheating on Draken with some random guy (or make it one of the cast for extra angst) for upwards of 6 months, and for as much as Ken can tell, has subsequently fallen out of love with him.

That's the only explanation for the red and yellow carnations, aloe and honeysuckle that erupts from his lungs with every coughing fit, each petal stained with the dull crimson of blood.

Ken's not sure Mikey knows he's fallen out of love with him though- the little blonde probably thinks it's just fun and games; a little excitement to liven up his increasingly mundane life.

As his condition worsens, it becomes difficult for Ken to hide his ailment, so he confides in Mitsuya, who, upon hearing of Manjiro's infidelity, has to be physically restrained from going and starting a fight.

Long story short, Takashi's eventually able to convince Ken to get the surgery to remove the roots which have taken up residence in his lungs before they kill him. (In my au, the surgery doesn't remove the memory entirely of the other person, just any and all romantic feelings for them. Depending on how deep the feelings were initially and the constitution of the sufferer, it is possible for those feelings to return.)

When Manjiro finds out about the whole situation, it's far too late.

Ken's had the surgery, and his romantic feelings for Mikey have entirely disappeared.

Now, this is where things take a turn.

Manjiro, having realized the error of his ways, had broken things off with whoever he was having his affair with, and had decided to turn a new leaf and devote himself entirely to Ken.

But now, Ken is explaining to him that he's fallen out of love and is serving him divorce papers.

Mitsuya being present for the exchange doesn't help, and Manjiro, in his desperation, assumes Ken had also been cheating on him with Takashi as retaliation for his cheating.

He becomes hysterical, desperately trying, and ultimately failing, to convince Ken to give them another chance. Ken then explains the situation of his Hanahaki, and Manjiro is driven to shocked and guilt stricken tears.

Anyway, time passes, and Ken and Takashi begin to pursue each other, whereas Manjiro is left to stew in his own increasing darkness, bitterness and envy.

As you probably could have expected if you know anything about my writing, this takes a yandere turn.

Mikey was always obsessed with Draken, and through some convoluted mental gymnastics, he convinced himself that Ken was too good for him, and would eventually step out on him once he became bored and/or overwhelmed with Mikey.

So, he stepped out first, and simply got caught up.

But now that's he taken a step back and lost Ken, he realizes how stupid and immature that train of thought was, and is.

Now he's desperate to get Ken back, by any means necessary.

Cue the stalking/manipulation/potential murder.

And hey, if you're feelin' particularly wild, you could even fashion this into an ABO au somehow.

Anywho, das what I got fa y'all this time round. Hope y'all enjoyed! And feel free to share your thoughts in the comments or my askbox. 👋🏾

[pluckysidekick]

Ace alert! Remember when I said you would have to use your imagination to see Ace in the Flying Monkeys Hawaiian shirt from Chapter 6 of No One Mourns the Wicked? Imagine no more! I asked the incredibly talented @hucklebucket if she could help me visualize it - and she knocked it out of the park, right in time to post the Epilogue of my Wicked AU!

Image courtesy of @hucklebucket

If you haven’t read it yet, No One Mourns the Wicked is an AU that follows the mystery of S1 in a fresh way. The entire crew is involved in putting on the first summer stock production of Wicked. There’s singing (including an incredibly romantic duet for Nancy & Ace that gets out of hand), but at its heart the crew solve the mystery, encounter a ghost, get involved in shenanigans, and fall in love while they do it!

The Epilogue takes place a few months after Ch. 6’s dramatic Opening Night and Cast Party (including Ace in the shirt and a very spicy Nace encounter in an alleyway). We’ll find out what Nancy, Ace, and the whole crew have been up to just in time for Thanksgiving break (with a little extra spice).

Here’s a preview:

“I know. I'm also lucky to have found such a good boyfriend.” Nancy put her arms around Ace’s neck. His hair had grown longer since the summer. She loved that there was even more soft goodness to thread her fingers through.

“You really are,” he deadpanned.

Nancy nipped his lower lip, something she could never resist. “I don’t think that’s the expected answer from a supposedly good boyfriend.”

“Oh, you mean I should say what an amazing girlfriend you are? How I can’t wait to see you after class every night, and how I never want you to go back to sleep in your own dorm?” He said it in a husky whisper as he sucked her earlobe, knowing exactly the effect it would have on Nancy.

“That’s more like it.” She struggled to keep the tremble out of her voice.

Read No One Mourns the Wicked on Ao3

[lickthecowhappy]

Playlist Analysis: #8 - Two Men In Love

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#8. Two Men Man-Shaped Beings In Love – The Irrepressibles 

This is an Aziraphale song.

Overview:

Heads up: this is a long one. I don’t blame you if you don’t get through it, but I think you’ll enjoy it. 

One of the most important things about this song that I will refer to many times is “The Heartbeat.” Throughout most of the song there is a percussive beat present that sounds like a heartbeat. At times it is soft and slow, sometimes it’s too quiet to hear, or it speeds up and gets louder. This signals levels of emotional arousal, especially when compared with general musical harmony, discordance, volume, and emotions expressed by the vocals. If you are reading this without listening to the songs, this is the one I feel most strongly that listening to the music itself is equally as important as analyzing the lyrics. I would absolutely love to hear more analysis of this from someone with more musical education.

To accurately understand my analysis of this song you need to understand my opinions/assumptions on what’s happening at the end of episode 6. I don’t believe that Aziraphale was mind controlled but I do believe he was manipulated. Despite manipulation to ply him, Aziraphale knows they are still in danger being together as angel and demon and he believes that two angels in love is the only chance they have for peace. That bringing Crowley to heaven to be reinstated as an angel* won’t change anything about who Crowley is fundamentally, it’s just a matter of citizenship. During Companion to Owls when Aziraphale said, “I know the angel you were,” he believed that Crowley was still the same being inside despite the change in teams, and Aziraphale still believes that about him. Crowley is only Evil™ because it’s been a requirement to his survival after being cast out. Crowley doesn’t understand this is how he feels. All Aziraphale’s language is too coded because he knows they are still not safe despite the last few years of non-interference and despite seeing Gabriel and Beelzebub go off together. 

Crowley has asked Aziraphale to run away from their home (the world) three times in order to take whatever small amount of time they have left to be together while it all burns down. Every time Aziraphale chooses to fight instead because he was created to be a guardian. If he’s running things with Crowley by his side they could not only be together openly, they would have the authority to protect their home and all its inhabitants.

Placement for this song was tricky because it represents the entirety of the final minutes of episode 6. It begins when Aziraphale interrupts Crowley’s rambling start of a confession and it ends with the smile in the elevator. I ended up putting it where I did because I had two Crowley songs back to back and I needed to sandwich an Aziraphale in there.

*I also believe that restoring Crowley’s angelic status would never have happened.

Lyrics:

If I asked you now Will you be my prince? Will you lay down your armor And be with me forever?

The Heartbeat is audible.

It’s steady, but it’s there in Aziraphale’s ears. He’s excited but composed. 

Let me rephrase the above verse: If I asked you now Will you be my angel? Will you take down the defenses you’ve developed And be with me forever?

Aziraphale is (misguidedly) asking Crowley to take down the protective barriers he’s rightfully made for himself and switch teams for Their safety. 

When you open me All the power in me moves How you want to see All the depths of me real When you open me All the power in me moves

The Heartbeat is still audible.

Crowley knows Aziraphale better than any other being. He sees Aziraphale’s true self. Crowley can open him like a book and read every page. I dare say he could recite much of it from memory. During the trial in s1e6 Crowley played his part perfectly, only really giving him extra confidence. When the two are synced up, Aziraphale’s heart is stirred. I can even hear this in a literal way, that Aziraphale is more powerful when they are fully “Them” like in s2e1 performing the half-miracle each. Crowley is still hostile to Gabriel at that moment, but he is much more desperate to protect than he is keen for revenge.

I feel real

The Heartbeat is present but softening.

When Aziraphale knows Crowley is seeing him for who he is, he feels real. Not ethereal. Real like humans are real, with free-will and the ability to grow and change and make mistakes and for those mistakes to be forgiven. Able to be what he knows himself to be, unbound by Heaven, not fitting the mold of Goodness™ he’s about to have to stuff himself back into. He needs Crowley by his side in Heaven in order to have the courage to be who he really is and fight for what he knows is really truly right. 

The Heartbeat softens to become inaudible before the next verse.

I love you Love you I love you Love you

The Heartbeat has been replaced by a soft, slow melody. This represents calmness, earnestness, self-assuredness, and tenderness, delicacy.

This is Aziraphale losing himself in the fantasy he’s trying to sell to Crowley. He has let himself believe that this is their ticket out of danger. This is Aziraphale saying “I love you” in his mind trying desperately to get his coded message across, knowing he can’t say it directly. Even saying it to himself the way one might finally admit it in words when they’ve finally let themselves give in to emotions they thought they could never be allowed to have. 

[Here the words have stopped, the soft, serene music becomes sharp and discordant, borderline unpleasant before returning to some level of gentleness.]

Everything is going wrong. Crowley is angry and he isn’t willing to hear an argument. He hears that Aziraphale is once again abandoning “their side” and his emotional reaction prevents him from decoding the offer of battle for which Aziraphale is trying to recruit him. And at the worst possible time, Crowley begins to confess his tender, fragile feelings, out loud, probably in full view of the Metatron. 

When I look into your eyes There's a danger inside When I see the edge I can never hide

The Heartbeat has returned. The music is gentle but uneasy. It evokes a sense of concern.

Crowley avoids eye contact for most of the confession but Aziraphale can barely look away from those yellow eyes he loves so much. He only looks away from them to look out the window (to his sinister side) where he KNOWS danger is waiting and watching. He understands where Crowley is going with this and shakes his head no, but Crowley is so uneasy and nervous and emotional, he misses all of Aziraphale’s body language that is very clearly (to the audience, at least) screaming that they are not safe. Aziraphale knows the danger is real, it is currently present, it is watching, and they can not hide from it. Not now, not ever.

See me Running, running, running, running, running Running, running, running, running, running Running, running, running, running, running To you, from you, to you

The Heartbeat is still present as before but begins to speed up with every line in an increasingly faster time signature into and almost stabbing piano notes throughout this verse.

Aziraphale wants to run to Crowley. He does it all the time, figuratively and sometimes literally. But he also runs away from him. Pushing him away to keep him out of harm’s way or staying at arm’s length because of the danger Aziraphale could bring down upon him. But no matter what, he can’t stay away. Aziraphale will always run towards Crowley in the end.

There's a strange love inside It's getting louder louder louder louder louder There's a danger I can't hide Who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am

The Heartbeat continues at this fast, strong pace but is slightly drowned out by the choral music and peals of stringed instruments.

Crowley has finally said all the things they have both been thinking for years (though really, for all his hemming and hawing and stuttering, he hasn’t said anything other than, let’s run away from the broken system like we just saw Gabriel and Beelzebub do). Aziraphale is feeling that strange love I talked about in Love Like You. He’s heard the love Crowley is trying to express and that strange love of his is getting louder, crashing in his head. But he can’t seem to communicate the danger to Crowley. Can’t communicate that they can’t hide, that even if they did run they wouldn’t be free, they’d be looking over their shoulders constantly. But Crowley is done; the shades on, the walls up. Aziraphale’s love for Crowley is a part of who he is now and he will be incomplete without him. Aziraphale is desperate and resorts to begging and petulance while his feelings continue to crash in his head.

I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love Ooh, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love Love, love, love

The Heartbeat is fast and loud. The music is swelling and grand but still there’s something wrong with it. A discordance? Like all the different instruments are playing slightly different parts of the same song. They momentarily seem to sync up but again become discordant with crashing symbols, strange vocals, and errant trills.

Aziraphale is screaming "I'm in love" in his head but he can’t say it. This is a declaration to himself. He’s never been more sure of it before. It’s on repeat over and over and over. 35 “I’m in love”s. THIRTY FIVE! There are hurtful words exchanged and weaponized nightingales and the kiss is a full 17 seconds of desperation and pain and regret and all the while I think they both have this phrase crashing over and over in their heads in some way. But neither can express it properly and Crowley leaves and Aziraphale is left alone to processes what the fuck just happened and how it all could have gone so wrong so quickly, while Crowley is out by the Bentley probably doing the exact same thing. 

[There is a brief, echoing melodic refrain here before the beat and tone suddenly shift in a jarring way. A way that feels like it’s a totally different song for a moment.]

The Heartbeat is still fast and strong.

Aziraphale has had only seconds to taste his lips and process what just happened when the Metatron comes back in the shop and he has to compose himself immediately. Based on blocking, I don’t think the Metatron saw the kiss, but he walks in fully knowing that Crowley isn’t going. But then, he knew that before he offered it anyway, didn't he? Aziraphale walks to the window and sees that Crowley is still there. He tries to leverage the bookshop to get out of the job but the Metatron has that covered. 

Gonna build you up, gonna help you believe, sonny Gonna build you up, gonna help you believe, sonny

The Heartbeat is fast and strong and pounding and very present alongside the spoken vocals and minimal music.

Aziraphale almost rejects the offer but takes one last look out the window and knows he has to fight. He sees Crowley out there and knows without any doubt how they both feel, despite the pain they just caused each other. He knows he has no choice but to fight for it, even if it means that Crowley believes that Aziraphale has rejected him. He resolves to protect Crowley and make sure that one day Crowley believes in him and the only way he knows he has the authority to do it is as Supreme Archangel. Aziraphale loves being rescued by Crowley but now he knows he has to do this on his own. So he accepts and goes with the Metatron and doesn’t take anything else with him.

There's a strange love inside It's getting louder louder louder louder louder There's a danger I can't hide Oh, it's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am

The Heartbeat remains fast and sharp but begins to be drowned out by music which is still crashing but now harmonious and confident.

This is a confident version of the previous instance of this verse. Aziraphale’s resolve is growing. He’s psyching himself up. That kiss was a desperate, frustrated temptation but it turned into an inspiration to protect what Aziraphale loves. He knows it’s dangerous, and Crowley won’t be by his side this time. He has no choice but to become the soldier he was created to be. To protect his love and his home. His courage is being bolstered by the love he now has no question is there and is mutual. It’s who he is and it's what he was created for.

I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love

The strong Heartbeat and confident, harmonious, powerful, joyous music continues.

Aziraphale’s body language and facial expressions as he ascends in the elevator tell such a story. At the start he’s breathing heavy and setting his jaw with a barely brave face and by the time the images blur, he’s standing more confidently with his war face on. He’s going to burn the system to the ground. 

(Also this brings us to 52 “I’m in love”s, if I counted right.)

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