#i was supposed to have a new doctor today but. yeah i told you guys how thats already fallen through

[hotshotsxyz]

doctor, doctor, give me the news

(buddie) (1.4k words) (8x05 spec) y'all i think i kind of went off with this one

Tommy flinches. It’s a quick, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it thing that he quickly turns into a playful cringe, but for a second, it was real. It was real and Buck saw it and he doesn’t know how to unsee it.

He pulls his phone out and opens the camera so he can see it for himself, and okay, yeah, it’s not great. But also—they’re both firefighters. Buck’s seen way worse than swollen, red skin, and he’s sure Tommy has too.

“Afraid of the curse now?” he asks lightly instead of voicing the thought.

“Um, yeah, I think you’ve convinced me,” Tommy replies.

Buck squints at his own image. “What do you think it is?”

“Other than a curse?” Tommy asks.

Buck nods.

“Honestly, Evan, I have no idea. Maybe we should call in some back-up.”

“What?” Buck asks, brow furrowing. “Like some kind of curse breaker?”

Tommy snorts. “Like someone with a little more medical training,” he replies.

“Oh, yeah that—that’s probably a good idea,” Buck says. He feels himself flush even redder.

“You want me to call Hen? Or Chimney, maybe?” Tommy asks.

Buck shakes his head. “They’re taking the kids to a haunted hayride today. I’ll text Eddie.”

Tommy’s nose wrinkles a little, and Buck can’t help but wonder which part of what he just said Tommy didn’t like. He types out a quick message.

SOS. curse real. need paramedic diaz asap

Eddie’s reply is almost instantaneous and comes in three short messages.

not a paramedic

and curses aren’t real

I’m on my way

Buck looks up from his phone. “He’ll be here soon,” he says.

“That was fast,” Tommy observes.

Buck shrugs. For a second he considers sending Eddie a selfie, something to prepare him for the not-so-pleasant sight of his face, but he—

He kind of wants to see if Eddie flinches, too.

Eddie’s key turns in the lock and Tommy shoots Buck an odd look. He’d try to parse it, but he’s really starting to feel how much his face hurts and he kind of just wants Eddie to hurry up and fix it. He stands and walks past the stairs in time to see him shut the door.

“Ouch,” Eddie hisses as soon as he catches sight of whatever it is his face is doing now. It’s not a flinch. If anything, he sways forward like he might at a scene. Assessing. Ready to jump in as soon as he’s formed a plan.

“Yeah,” Buck says. “Told you I’m cursed.”

Eddie lets out a light laugh. “Mm, I think I’m supposed to be the one making the diagnosis here,” he says.

He ushers Buck to the kitchen table, sets his med kit down, and pulls out a chair for him.

“Gee,” Buck says, “A guy could get used to this kind of medical care.”

Eddie grins. “Doctor Diaz, at your service,” he says, holding out a hand for Buck to shake.

Buck huffs a soft laugh and takes it. “I’ll be a good patient, I promise,” he says.

“Don’t start lying to me now,” Eddie replies, eyes twinkling.

Across the table, Tommy chokes.

Buck drops Eddie’s hand and looks over at him. “You okay?” he asks.

“Mm,” Tommy hums. “Just uh—got some spit down the wrong pipe.”

Buck frowns but doesn’t push it any further. He looks back at Eddie and finds him rummaging through his kit with a pen light between his teeth. He makes a triumphant noise and turns to Buck.

“Alright, let’s see,” Eddie says softly.

He steps into the space between Buck’s legs, and Buck’s brain kind of just—freezes.

“Look up for me?” Eddie prompts, and when Buck doesn’t—can’t—immediately comply, Eddie presses two fingers beneath his chin and guides it up until suddenly the only thing Buck can see are Eddie’s eyes. “Thought you we’re going to be a good patient,” Eddie murmurs.

All at once, Buck’s brain unfreezes, skipping right past calm and into hyperdrive. Because—because—he’s looking at Eddie and Eddie’s thumb is skating across the skin that’s just beneath the worst of the swelling  and Buck can feel it and surely Eddie’s touched his face before except—except—no, Buck’s pretty sure he hasn’t but now that he has Buck’s never going to be able to forget the way it feels because he knows it should hurt, it should, but it doesn’t and he kind of never wants Eddie to stop touching him and that’s—that’s—

“—hurt?” Eddie asks, only Buck misses 90% of the question so instead of answering he hums vaguely and watches Eddie’s face twist in sympathy.

Eddie starts dabbing something on Buck’s face, hydrocortisone maybe, or triple anti-biotic—whatever it is it feels cool and nice and as Eddie concentrates on his task he bites down on his lip and suddenly Buck can’t look at anything else, can’t look at the furrow in Eddie’s brow can’t look at the ceiling can’t—

“You think he’ll live?” Tommy asks dryly.

Buck feels like he’s been doused with cold water.

Eddie’s lips, those lips that he still can’t bring himself to look away from, twitch into a small smile. “Depends,” he says. “Has anyone figured out how to break the curse?”

It punches a laugh out of Buck’s chest, the kind that comes out in a single syllable and with a rush of air. Eddie takes a step back and finally Buck feels like his brain is returning from the stratosphere, back to its baseline level of chaos.

“So—” Buck tries, but it comes out rough. He clears his throat. “What’s uh—what’s the diagnosis.”

Eddie frowns. “Honestly? It kind of looks like spider bites.”

Tommy’s chair clatters back, and when Buck looks over he’s suddenly standing.

“Babe?” Buck asks, but it feels gummy and unfamiliar in his mouth.

“I, um—not a fan of spiders,” he squeaks.

Eddie blows out a soft breath that Buck’s pretty sure only he could recognize as laughter.

“You don’t have to stick around,” Buck says, and he swears he means stick around the loft, but—but—“I’m okay, I’ve got the second best doctor in Los Angeles looking after me.”

“Second!” Eddie exclaims, mock affronted.

“Hen,” Buck replies with a shrug.

Eddie heaves a dramatic sigh. “You’re not wrong.”

Tommy looks between them, a deep furrow in his brow. “Yeah,” he says. “I’ll uh—I’ll head out.” He backs toward the door, then pauses as he gets a hand on the knob. “See you tomorrow?” he directs at Buck.

“’Course,” Buck replies, and he’s pretty sure if Tommy had asked him that this morning his reply would’ve sounded soft and sweet to his own ear, but now Buck doesn’t hear much of anything at all.

Tommy nods once, and then he’s gone.

Buck looks back at Eddie, and god, he tries. He tries so hard not to notice the long line of Eddie’s legs where he’s leaning against the table, not quite sitting on it. He tries not to think about that soft curl, the one that makes an appearance more often than not these days, the one that rests against his forehead. He wants—he doesn’t—Eddie’s not—

Buck stands abruptly, except Eddie never did take more than a step back and now they’re practically nose to nose and Buck isn’t sure if he’s still breathing. Eddie’s head tips to the side and Buck—there’s not a thing he can do to stop the freight train that is his imagination, and oh, he can see it. He can feel it.

All at once he’s sure that if Eddie Diaz were to lean in and kiss him—right now, or a year from now, or a decade—if Eddie kissed him, Buck would be ruined in every sense of the word. He’d never be able to kiss another person without seeing Eddie, feeling Eddie, tasting Eddie and—

He wouldn’t want to.

Buck takes a stumbling step back and knocks into his chair, making it clatter the same way Tommy’s had. And fuck, for a second he didn’t even—

“Buck?” Eddie asks, all concern and kindness and wide brown eyes.

“Fine!” Buck says. “I’m fine. You—you, uh—do you want—” Me? Us? Something terrifying and perfect and permanent and “—water?”

Eddie’s brows knit together. “Sure,” he says. “But sit back down. Let me get it.”

“Okay,” Buck breathes. He sinks into his chair.

Eddie grabs two glasses out of his cabinet without even pausing to think and fills them with the Brita he already knew was in Buck’s fridge and snags a coaster that he bought before placing one of the glasses in front of Buck.

“Seriously,” he says, settling into the chair closest to him and leaning forward, “are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Buck says, and he’s honest to god not even sure if he’s lying.

[artssslut2]

Girl Dad x2

Art x Reader x Lily

Summary: You and Lily accidentally find out the gender of your baby and have to tell Art.

Note: Picture Lily around the ages 5-7 in this! (It doesn’t totally work with the timeline but just go with it)

You and Lily headed out the door for your ultrasound in the morning. Art was gonna be gone all day with the Donaldson foundation and was so bummed he had to miss the appointment. If he could have missed his meetings he would have, he hasn’t missed a single thing baby related since you got pregnant. No matter how small it was he was there. When Tashi was pregnant with Lily Art didn’t get to be as involved as he wanted to be, Tashi often didn’t want him at appointments for whatever reason, and it broke his heart. When you asked him to come he was surprised that you actually wanted him there.

“Of course I want you there, you’re the baby’s dad and my husband.” You told him holding his face in your he smiled leaning into your touch

“I love you more than anything.” He whispered pulling you in.

You and Lily were best friends, she was your little side kick and she wanted to go wherever you were. So today she was taking Arts place at the appointment. She was thrilled to be a big sister, she wanted to be one for as long as Art can remember. After he divorced Tashi he didn’t think he would ever give that to her, he was so happy that he found you and could make his dreams a reality.

“Y/n are we gonna find out if the baby is a boy or a girl today?” Lily asked sitting next to you to the table at the doctor’s office.

“Not today baby, we want to wait until they are born remember?” You smiled, Lily’s face scrunched in disappointment the same way her father’s does and you giggled. Before she could answer the nurse came in

“Hey guys! Who do we have here?” She asked enthusiastically motioning towards Lily,

“We have a big sister!” You said shaking Lily’s arm making her laugh “this is Lily.”

“Well you are very lucky to have such a wonderful mom Lily.” You laughed awkwardly, you saw Lily’s smile fade. You got those comments a lot but you tried to shrug them off for Lily’s sake.

The nurse left shortly after and the doctor came in. It was a new doctor because your normal one was on vacation, you greeted the doctor and introduced her to Lily and did the usual check up things before the doctor got the wand out. She squirted gel on your stomach and you flinched

“Is it cold?” Lily asked

“Very cold Lily pad” you said exaggerating a shiver

Shortly after you heard the heartbeat of your six month old baby,

“She looks great, strong heartbeat, 10 fingers and 10 toes.” The doctor said looking at the screen. Your mouth dropped open, did she just say she? The doctor noticed your face and realized what happened

“She… did you say she?” You asked sitting up a little bit,

“O-oh no, were you waiting was I not supposed to say. There wasn’t a note I’m so sorry.” You and Lily looked at each other in shock

“No no it’s ok. We’re having a little girl?” You asked again with teary eyes. The doctor gave a slight smile and nodded. Your heart fluttered

“Lily! You’re gonna have a little sister!” You yelled hugging her tightly. Lily was cheering and laughing

“I’m gonna have a sister!” She squeezed you so tightly. You couldn’t believe you were having a girl, secretly it’s what you wanted but you would have been fine with either.

“Thank you oh my god!” You told the doctor and she laughed with you both.

Later on when you got back to the car you noticed Lily was being really quiet, not her normal giggly self.

“You okay kiddo?” You asked her looking at her through the mirror,

“Yeah.” She answered blandly, you didn’t want to pry so you just nodded. A minute had passed and she hadn’t said anything

“Y/N?” She asked timidly from the back

“Yeah Lily?”

“I’m kind of sad.”

“Why what’s going on babe?” You asked, was she upset that the baby was a girl?

“When the lady called you my mom… I just sometimes get upset that the baby gets you as her mom and I don’t. I wish you were also my mom.” Lily said looking at the floor, you felt your heart melt with sadness and pride. She wanted you as her mom, that was such a compliment but you also didn’t want her to feel left out, she was your little girl too. You pulled into the mall parking lot and turned to look at her

“Oh Lily pad,I know I’m not your biological mom but that doesn’t mean I love you any less.” You told her reaching back and putting a hand on her knee. You saw her chin start to quiver

“But Max from school said that you won’t like me anymore when the baby is born because she’s your real baby.” She blurted out with a small sob. You physically felt your heart shatter, you worried this would happen

“Aw baby come up here.” You told her, she crawled into the front seat and hid her face in her knees, “just because I didn’t give birth to you doesn’t mean you aren’t my baby. I will love you just as much as your sister I promise. You are every bit as much of my child as this baby is Lily, don’t ever forget that, okay?” You told her, you felt tears poke at your eyes too but held them back, Lily looked up at you with wet eyes and nodded, you held her face with both hands “okay?” You smiled asking again,

“Okay.” She answers letting a smile grow on her face

“You know if anything you are even more lucky than your sister because you have two moms, you have your mother who is wonderful and loves you so much and you have me as like a bonus mom who also loves you so much.” You told her, Tashi was a great mom to Lily, and you and Tashi got along well. “I don’t know this Max kid but he sounds kind of dumb huh?” You joked and Lily giggled and agreed with you. Then Lily got quiet again and had a serious look

“Y/n since the baby will get too call you mom is it ok if… maybe I call you that too sometimes?” She asked timidly, your heart swelled and now tears did come to your eyes

“Oh Lily of course you can sweetheart.” You replied stroking her cheek and she smiled and hugged you the best she could over the armrests

“I love you.” She told you

“I love you too baby.” You kissed her cheek and pulled your hormonal self together “Now Lily we have a problem on our hands.” You said dramatically she giggled and listened “your daddy doesn’t know the baby is a girl. We have to find a perfect way to tell him that he’s gonna have another little princess running around!” You told her like it was a mission

“Do you think he will be mad that we found out?” Lily asked

“Not if we can find a good way to tell him. Let’s go look for ideas.” You laughed opening your car door and heading into Target with Lily in tow.

You and Lily had a very fun girls afternoon, you got a few too many outfits for your baby girl, including matching ones for Lily. You also got Lily a few new toys just to show how much you loved her, of course you both had to stop at Starbucks then you were on your way. Lily picked out a shirt for Art that said “Girl dad” she thought it would be a fun way to tell him and you agreed. Once you were home you both wrapped the shirt and put a note on it that said “x2” Lily was beyond excited that she found out before he did and that made you laugh. Finally Art got home from his meetings, he came through the door putting his bag down

“Where are my girls?” He called out like he always did

“Daddy!” Lily popped out from behind the door trying to scare him, she did this every night and Art always acted scared. He let out his dramatic scream that always cracked Lily up. He picked Lily up and threw her over his shoulder hurrying in to find you

“Did you hear what this little girl did to me!?” He said in a playful tone shaking Lily and putting her on your kitchen island as she laughed uncontrollably, then art saw the gift bag on the counter “well what’s this?” He asked coming over to kiss you

“We got you something daddy!” Lily answered quickly art looked surprised

“Did you?” He asked

“Yes we did” you smiled putting your arms around his waist

“Open it!” Lily shouted making you both laugh

Art took out the tissue paper, your stomach fluttered with nerves. What if he was mad that you found out without him

“Ooo what’s this… I love it Lily! Thank you guys!” He said holding up the t shirt clearly oblivious to what the shirt meant, you laughed to yourself at how cute your husband was

“Art look inside the bag, baby” you pushed the bag towards him, he looked in the bag and pulled out the note card. You couldn’t read his face yet. It felt like a lifetime had went on before he looked up at you. Tears were in his eyes, you were nervously looking at him

“Are we… are we having a girl?” He whispered as a stray tear fell from his eye

“Yes. I’m so sorry we didn’t mean to find out then the doctor-“ for a second you thought he was really upset but he interrupted you

“This is amazing y/n.” He cried pulling you into a hug with his face in your neck, you breathed out in relief

“You’re not mad?” You asked, he pulled away

“How could I be mad?” He smiled “Lily you’re gonna have a little sister!” He cheered pulling Lily into the hug. Your eyes welled up as you laughed with joy.

“You’re a girl dad, daddy” Lily told him

“I’m a girl dad Lily pad!” He yelled picking her up. He was thrilled to be having another girl he couldn’t wait to give Lily a sister.

Later on you Art and Lily were settling down and watching a movie on the couch. Lily sat between you and Art with her hand on your belly along with Arts hand. Lily loved feeling the baby move around inside of you, she also loved talking to your bump she would tell the baby all about her day. Art would do the same, like father like daughter. Art noticed Lily yawn

“Time for bed Lily girl” he said also yawning

“Mommy can you tuck me in please?” She asked sleepily Art looked at you with a surprised look, with all the excitement you forgot to tell him about your conversation with Lily, you gave him a look telling him that you would fill him in later and he smiled at you. You knew that it made Arts heart melt

“Of course I can Lily pad.” You said reaching out for her hand.

You were in love with your growing family.

[rambleonwaywardson]

Clegan Olympics AU - Event Finals Part 1

Masterpost Now on AO3 - Sous Le Ciel de Paris

Part 11 I think?

Author's note: sorry for the delay on this guys, but I just couldn't get it to a place where I was happy with it for a while. And I don’t like putting things out when I’m not happy with them. Plus I wanted to wait until I watched event finals to make sure I felt relatively okay about the logistics. Plus I've been very busy with life 😬. But this part is a bit longer, so maybe that makes up for it?

Hope everyone is enjoying the Olympics! Here's Bucky's event finals, as promised.

---

The first day of individual event finals, Bucky is alone. Just him, his coaches, and seven of his new closest friends – the other athletes from around the world competing for a medal on men’s floor exercise. The only other men’s event today is pommel horse, and none of the U.S. athletes qualified. Croz damn near did, but he placed ninth after a form break, and only the top eight on each apparatus advance to finals.

So it’s just Bucky back here in the Bercy arena warm-up gym, and he feels oddly bereft. He doesn’t remember the last time he walked into a competition alone, without Curt at his side. It’s been the two of them at the top of men’s gymnastics for years. Even when they competed in college for different schools, they met up at competitions and became fast friends. Since then, they’ve trained together. They’ve competed together. They’ve faced the world and this crazy ass sport together. And now Bucky is alone. 

It’s nearing 9am in Paris, and he’s getting ready to do his fourth floor routine of this Olympics. His fourth floor routine in about a week, after qualifications, team, and all-around. 

We don’t think it’s a good idea for you to do floor yet, the doctors told him months ago. It’s too much of a risk. It’s too hard on your leg.

Bucky basically told them to fuck off because he planned to try for Paris. Once the idea was in his head – the idea that it could be possible – he couldn’t let it go. He needed to at least try. Honestly, not even he himself knows if he really expected to get this far. On one hand, yes he absolutely did. He’s John fucking Egan; as far as he’s concerned, this is what he was meant for, a destiny set forth by the gymnastics gods. On the other hand, did anyone really expect it after the year he’d had? Did anyone think it was possible? Did anyone think he could do it without hurting himself all over again?

And yet here he is. He wasn’t supposed to do floor exercise at all, and now he’s doing it four times in one week. And honestly, not even he’s sure that it’s a good idea. Not even he’s sure that he isn’t in over his head today. 

But that kind of mentality does not have a place on the gymnastics floor.

A wet nose presses against Bucky’s thigh as he sits on the floor, securing his brace once again as he prepares to head out into the arena for warmups. It’s his ever-dutiful good luck charm, getting Bucky through these Games just like he got him through trials. 

“Hey bud,” Bucky says, patting Beacon on the head. The golden smiles at him and wags his tail, as if he’s saying you’re not alone, you have me, and it makes Bucky smile, too. “Yeah, at least I have you,” he says. “Just you and me against the world, Bea.”

Beacon licks his hand in agreement.

The golden almost hadn’t made it to the Games, but Bucky and Curt had personally advocated to find a way to get him and his owner across the pond to Paris. USA Gymnastics wasn’t going to turn down their two stars, and they pulled some strings to make it happen. Since it’s an international event, the dog can’t be out on the competition floor, but USA Gym negotiated a way to have him back by the warm-up gym, and at this point just about everyone agrees it was the best decision anyone at the Olympics had ever made. He’s become not only the team USA therapy dog, but the therapy dog for every Olympic gymnast who needs a little extra comfort. Many of the athletes from other countries have made friends with him in the last week, taking photos with him and de-stressing by petting or playing with him. No one goes out onto the floor without petting Beacon for good luck.

Beacon, who started as a USA Gymnastics celebrity, is now an Olympic celebrity. Everyone knows who he is, especially at Bercy. After winning team silver, Curt laid his medal around Beacon’s neck for a picture, citing him as part of the team. He attends interviews with the boys, gets professionally photographed, and can be spotted from time to time around the Olympic Village. The dog even has his own custom “Beacon the Good Boy” pin for the Olympic pin exchange, and it’s quickly become a highly sought after souvenir for the athletes.

A Japanese gymnast, the favorite to win floor finals, walks by as he prepares to head out into the arena. He stops to lean down and scratch Beacon on the ears, and Beacon wags his tail and boops him on the arm. Bucky and the other gymnast exchange a smile and wish each other good luck, and then Bucky’s coach is grabbing his bag for him, letting him know it’s time to go. 

As Bucky gives Beacon a kiss on the head and walks away, he’s aware of every single athlete heading out to floor exercise – all eight of them, no matter what country they’re from – stopping to pet the dog. For good luck. 

As the announcer calls his name – “For the United States of America, John Egan!” – Bucky walks through the open doorway into Bercy Arena, the American flag projected on the wall behind him. He smiles and waves at the crowd packing the arena on all sides and heads over towards the tumbling floor with the other gymnasts. As he walks, he feels some nerves begin to return, and he runs a hand through his hair and bites his lip as he takes a deep breath. 

One more time, he tells himself. He’s hit every other floor routine this week. He can hit this one, too.

He’s leaning over his bag, which his coach had set on one of the chairs to the side of the tumbling floor, when he hears a familiar voice. “Egan, why don’t you give me a smile?”

Bucky whips around, and he can’t stop the grin that breaks out across his face. “What the fuck are you doing here!”

He pulls Curt into a hug and claps him on the back. The other gymnast, not competing today, is wearing one of the red USA Gymnastics coaching polo shirts. He has his Paris Olympics ID card and a floor pass strapped across his body on one of those pink and blue Paris lanyards. Hand-written on the pass in a messy scrawl are the words “MAG Coach 2” – Men’s Artistic Gymnastics coach 2. 

“Pulled some strings,” Curt says. “I’m your other coach for the day. Thought you could use some of my awesomeness down here.”

Bucky rolls his eyes but hugs Curt again. “Thanks, man.”

Curt grins at him and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s rack ‘em up and knock ‘em down.”

When it’s Bucky’s turn on floor, he spares a glance up to the stands. When he was younger, cockier, he’d interact with the crowd constantly during meets. Sometimes his coaches would reprimand him for it, telling him to focus. He didn’t really listen.

He didn’t necessarily lose that cockiness, but a greater wariness has welled up within him during his recovery, dimming it. In the last week, he’s been finding a better balance again, but he’s been different since he returned to competition. During trials, he tried to block out the crowd, not wanting to let it get into his head. He didn’t have quite so much fun, didn’t want to think about anything other than the next apparatus, the next pass, the next skill.

But that was before he cared about who was watching. Here, in Paris, he’s made a point of knowing exactly where Gale is sitting, as if that alone can fight off his nightmare from before all-around. As if that alone can keep his leg together, keep his mind and body on the same page, ensure he can stick the landings on these tumbling passes that his doctors don’t think he should be doing. 

Gale Cleven. Bucky’s other good luck charm. 

Gale is exactly where he said he’d be, five rows up, right in front of the tumbling floor. Benny is beside him, and Marge, fresh from winning team silver in show jumping, is in the next seat over. She waves excitedly when he looks up, and he waves back. Gale notices him at the last second and breaks into a smile that takes away any last remnants of nerves that had been swarming around Bucky’s head. Any anxiety he feels starts to simply melt away, because Gale smiling at him like that is like basking in the glow of the sun.

On Gale’s other side is Croz, Alex, and Brady. The rest of Bucky’s team, here to hype him up and cheer him on. Brady has a tiny American flag stuck behind each ear, and all three of them are wearing quite obnoxious custom John Egan t-shirts. Bucky wonders how they got them without him noticing. 

He stops at the chalk box and kicks the slides off his feet before stepping into it, coating his feet in white chalk as he waits for the go-ahead. Then he leans over to the elevated chalk bowl and does the same to his hands. Over the quiet chatter as the audience waits, he can hear Brady yell “Yeah you get that chalk!” And it makes him laugh. 

The commentators on TV will note that John Egan has the second highest start value in this competition. Second by a mere tenth of a point. If he chose to compete the floor routine he wanted to – before he fought with his doctors and coaches over the integrity of his leg and the importance of not fucking it up – he’d have the highest start value by a mile. But as a compromise, he chose to omit one of his harder passes due to the danger of over-rotation and re-injury. The commentators still talk about how it’s incredible that he’s doing what he’s doing at all, that he qualified second on floor after the injury he had. 

Bucky knows that, injury or not, his gymnastics speaks for itself. His floor routine speaks for itself. His difficulty score speaks for itself. He knows that, injury or not, he is seen as one of the best gymnasts in the world right now, and that is why he’s here. But sometimes he wishes the commentators and the interviewers and the media would see it that way too, that they’d stop qualifying his accomplishments by saying he’s doing a great job “for being terribly injured just months ago.”

Injury or not, he’s John fucking Egan. And he’s going to make sure everyone in this stadium knows it. Sure he already has the all-around gold, but as long as he’s here, he needs to keep proving that he’s more than a comeback, more than a pity story.

He’s John fucking Egan. 

When the green light comes on and the announcer says his name, he swears he can hear his friends cheering for him over anyone else in the stadium, and he lets it fuel him. He salutes the judges, steps into the corner of the floor to set up his first pass, and he throws himself at it with every last bit of energy he has. 

Triple twisting double back layout. Perfect stick. Applause. Combination pass. Near perfect stick. Applause. Double salto forward. Stick. Applause. Cartwheel, somersault into the splits. Japanese handstand – his non-acrobatic element – arms straight out to the side, hands pressing into the floor holding himself up, head no more than a fist’s width distance from the floor, legs straight in the air. Hold. Roll out of it. Three more passes left. 

On the penultimate pass, he can feel it when he’s only midway through, still ten feet in the air. It’s a feeling no gymnast, no matter how well trained, likes to have: he’s going to under-rotate this. When he lands, in an attempt to save himself from falling on his face, his left foot hits the floor at a very strange angle in front of him and causes him to stumble back a step on his right. He grimaces when he feels a painful tug on his left knee, straining the joint. 

Not now, he thinks. Not fucking now.

The commentators on TV will comment on the disconcerting way he landed, the look of concern that flashes across his face before he schools his features once again and regains his balance. They’ll mention his knee, his injury, his comeback, the fact that his doctor’s didn’t think he should do floor but he wouldn’t be stopped. 

Curt watches with concern, wondering if his fears were right, that today was just too much. He tries to analyze the way Bucky landed and the look on his face and what it might mean. He’s playing coach today, and he’s trying to make heads or tails of what’s going through Bucky’s head right now. But like any coach, it’s not up to him. Out there on the floor, it’s up to John and John alone. All he can do is watch what happens next.

In the stands, Croz, Alex, and Brady all cringe at the same time, making Gale go “What? What’s wrong?” with his eyes wide in alarm.

“He landed a bit weird on his left,” Croz explains. “Looks like he’s gonna keep going, but…”

Shit.

He’s gonna keep going, but he’d keep going even if he shouldn’t. 

Bucky’s fine. Enough. He’s fine enough. He needs to be fine enough. He’s still standing, so there’s no other option. He can still move, so anything else he can work out later. Whether he’s actually fine or if the adrenaline coursing through his body is masking the pain, he doesn’t know. Doesn’t matter.

He cocks his head, shakes his arms out as he brings his feet together in the corner once again. Just gotta make it one more, he tells himself. It’s fine. We’re fine. He can hear Curt on the sidelines, yelling encouragement despite his own uncertainty. “You’ve got this! Get it done, Bucky! Get it done!”

Bucky takes a deep breath, looks across the floor at the opposite corner. He can see the judges, watching his every move, finding every possible little fault in his performance. He stares them down, like a dare. They all know he has to be perfect on this last pass. 

He thinks of Gale. Find your line. 

“Find your line,” Gale whispers in the stands. Benny puts a hand on his knee and squeezes in anticipation. 

Ignoring the slight stinging pain in his leg, Bucky runs, flips his way into his dismount, and launches himself up into the air to complete the triple full. When he hits the floor, that spike of pain shoots through him again, but he grits his teeth and forces himself to stay in control. He landed with one of his heels just barely out of bounds, and he knows that one-tenth deduction will probably cost him the gold, but he stuck the landing perfectly otherwise. He gets too much power on that pass; he always has, and he’s quite frankly surprised this is the only time he’s landed out of bounds the entire routine. He laughs a little bit anyways, because even if it’s not gold, even if that Japanese gymnast beats him out, he fucking got it done. 

He will be only the second American male gymnast to ever win an Olympic medal on floor exercise, and the first since 1976.

Deafening chants of “USA! USA! USA!” go up around the arena, and he salutes before pumping his fist in the air and jumping across the floor, leg be damned. He waves his arms to pump up the crowd, and they cheer for him. Because they know, no matter what country they’re from, what it means for him to be here right now. 

“LET’S GOOOO!” He yells out, and he can hear Curt doing the same as he goes absolutely crazy on the sidelines. When Bucky haphazardly shoves his slides back on his feet and hops down, he jumps right into Curt’s arms as the other gymnast lifts him off his feet, jumping up and down in celebration.

“That’s how it’s done!” Curt exclaims.

If Bucky’s in any pain, as the commentators, his coaches, his friends feared he would be, when he steps up onto the podium for the medal ceremony, no one notices. He hides his slight limp. He waves to the crowd. He can’t stop smiling as he bows his head to receive a silver medal. His third medal of the Paris Olympics. 

He shakes hands, he poses for photos with the other medalists. He blows a kiss to Gale in the stands. He waves to the crowd. He talks to a reporter about what this means to him.

He has one event left. 

—

Bucky sits on the uncomfortable mattress, leaning back against Gale’s warm chest. He’s polishing off one of the infamous chocolate muffins from the dining hall, which he’s been looking forward to all day. Curt snagged it for him earlier that afternoon after Bucky complained about not being able to get to the dining hall to get one himself, and Bucky could have kissed the guy for it. Sure, maybe he still has one more event to go bright and early tomorrow morning, but he’s earned himself a damn muffin and then some. Gale bumps the side of Bucky’s head with his nose, and Bucky raises the muffin up so Gale can have a bite before it’s gone.

Curt and Bucky’s small bedroom is full the night of his floor exercise silver. Tomorrow, he and Curt have rings and vault finals, so it’s a chill night in for them. No drinking or painting the town red or even mingling with the other athletes in the USA House. Bucky and Gale sit together on Bucky’s bed. Curt sits on his own bed, Croz beside him and Brady half laying across them both. Alex sits on the floor in the small space in between, leaning back against Curt’s bed, with Benny also on the floor, leaning against Bucky’s. Marge sat out their little gathering in favor of meeting up with her jumping team, which benny gave her shit for.

Ice is wrapped around Bucky’s knee, which is still sore but doesn’t seem to be seriously damaged. He’s been able to walk fine unless he stays still too long, and Gale took it upon himself to massage his leg earlier in the afternoon (which Bucky totally did not try – and succeed – to turn into a makeout session). Either way, he thinks the soreness might be worth it, because he has three Olympic medals hanging around his neck. And they’re heavy. 

“Maybe you should compete with those weighing you down,” Alex jokes. “Give the rest of us a fighting chance.”

Bucky laughs and holds up his second silver medal, bites down on it like he did for the photos on the podium. “Jealous, much?” 

“Of Olympic all-around gold medalist, comeback kid of the year, John Clarence Egan?” Alex says dramatically. “No. He’s an ass.”

“Oh fuck off!” Bucky laughs and throws his pillow at Alex, who doesn’t have time to dodge and lets it smack him in the chest. Then he takes it for himself and shoves it behind his back. 

“Wait! Bite down on the medal like that again,” Croz orders, motioning to Bucky as he pulls out his phone. 

“Aren’t there enough pictures of me biting an Olympic medal?” Bucky asks. There’s at least several from each event so far this week, and if everyone in this room is being honest, they fully expect him to add another medal to his collection tomorrow morning.

Gale makes to unwind his arm from around Bucky to get out of the frame, but Croz says “No, Buck, you stay there.” Gale arches an eyebrow but slowly wraps his arm securely around Bucky once again, pulling him close.

“Oh! Hold on,” Bucky says. He tells Curt to grab his silver medal, and Curt understands. He pushes himself off the bed, nearly knocking Brady to the floor, and grabs his medal from his bedside table, because that’s obviously the perfect place to store an Olympic medal. Reaching across Bucky’s bed, he motions for Gale to bow his head, and he places the medal around the blonde’s neck. A stand-in for his own eventing silver medal. 

“There,” Bucky says, pressing his fingers to the medal now resting on Gale’s chest. “Très beau.”

“Très beau,” Gale agrees with a soft smile.

“Okay, look over here,” Croz tells them. And he takes their picture.

Bucky decides not to even be shy about it. He posts the photo on Instagram immediately, with the caption “silver medalists ❤️” at the bottom. Bucky biting down on his silver medal with a smile as he leans back against Gale’s chest. His other two medals hanging around his neck. Gale’s arm wrapped around him as he holds up his own silver medal with his other hand, smiling shyly. Both of them in comfy team USA t-shirts. The ice on Bucky’s knee is barely visible at the bottom of the frame.

“Aren’t you two cute,” Benny teases, reaching up to pat Gale on the leg. 

Gale rolls his eyes as Bucky kisses him on the cheek. “We sure are,” Bucky agrees. Then he looks at his teammates on the other side of the room, as if he just remembered something very important. “Did you guys see the adorable pictures of Buck and Whiskey after the medal ceremony?”

The other gymnasts shake their heads, and Bucky insists that they look. Gale blushes, trying to hide his face in Bucky’s hair, but Bucky won’t let him. He pulls out his phone and forces Gale to look at his own post with him for about the hundredth time. Gale may be the one who posted it, but Bucky is the one in love with it, as is the rest of America. It’s been re-posted by the US Equestrian, US Eventing, and Team USA accounts, so millions of people have seen the pictures at this point. Between that, opening ceremonies, and the media tracking his and Bucky’s “love story,” he’s gained hundreds of thousands of followers during the past week alone.

After Gale won his individual silver medal, the first thing he did when he saw Bucky again was shove his phone in his face and say “look at my girl!” It wasn’t even himself he was proud of; it was his horse. As usual. 

Aside from the professional photos that came out later that day – photographs of Gale on the podium, Gale on Whiskey with a pretty second place ribbon attached to her bridle, Gale and Whiskey together as he held up the medal around his neck – there’s also countless non-professional photos, mostly taken by his groom, Kenny, after he got back to the stables that day. 

Bucky’s favorite, though, is a selfie that Gale took, still looking sweaty with his cheeks flushed, hair sticking up in all directions, as he held up the medal. The picture was taken from below, so you can also see Whiskey’s face. Her forelock, which had just been released from a braid, is also sweaty and sticking up in all directions, but she looks like she knows exactly what she just accomplished. Her ears are perked forward and she’s sticking her tongue out at the camera. Bucky’s favorite part is the ecstatic smile on Gale’s face. Him and his mare and nothing but pure exhilaration. 

Bucky wasn’t the only one who liked the picture either. It’s tucked in the middle of the photo set Gale posted that night, but it’s the most shared photo from the entire set, circulating across social media platforms and even on the news. The eventing team had been invited to the Today show to talk about their Olympic success, and they displayed that very picture for everyone tuning in to see. 

Now Bucky looks around, satisfied, as the other guys find the post and instantly like it and comment on how awesome Gale and Whiskey look, because apparently he’s that kind of boyfriend now. The kind that wants anyone and everyone to know how awesome and adorable and successful and sweet his boyfriend is.  

And… boyfriend. Wow. Okay. That’s the first time he’s thought of it that way…

It makes him feel funny. A little scared and uncomfortable and unfamiliar, but also warm. It makes him… happy? Proud.

Before he can really panic too much about it, though, Croz is holding up his hand and saying “Wait wait wait, is it true that the horses fly on a plane called Air Horse One?”

Gale chokes on a laugh, blowing warm breath into Bucky’s hair where he’s still hiding his face. It makes Bucky feel fuzzy. He’s been sitting here, wrapped safe and warm in Gale’s arms as he ices his leg for quite a while already, but he’s suddenly very very aware of it. 

“Yes and no,” Gale says.

“Air Horse One exists,” Benny explains. “But our horses didn’t fly to Paris on it this year.”

“Well what’s the fuckin’ point then?” Curt exclaims.

Gale shrugs. “Just kinda depends what company is available to fly ‘em. It’s pretty much the same treatment no matter what.”

“Didn’t you say the horses have passports?” Bucky asks. Almost experimentally, he leans forward, out of Gale’s hold, under the guise of taking the ice off his leg. He quickly realizes, though, that he really misses the warmth and security of Gale’s embrace, and that information assaults his brain with all the subtlety of a freight train. He doesn’t know why. He doesn’t know why he can’t just admit that he loves this guy and be okay with that and let himself be happy and not question it anymore. But every single time he feels himself coming to a new realization about it, it throws him off guard.

Just let yourself be fuckin’ happy, you idiot, he thinks. 

He realizes Gale is answering his question. “Yeah, they all have to have a passport to travel internationally. Just like us. Whiskey’s technically been to more countries than I have.” Benny scoffs from the floor below them.

Curt gets up and takes the ice pack from Bucky. “You good?” he whispers, no doubt seeing the startled look on his face. He also accepts the medal that Gale hands back to him. 

Bucky nods as he leans forward, basically folding in half as he stretches his leg out, then rubs at the joint.

Gale, who, of course, noticed the concerned exchange between Bucky and Curt, puts a gentle hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “You need heat next?” he asks.

Bucky’s heart stutters because yes he does need heat, and of course Gale thought about that and wants to make sure Bucky has what he needs because he’s thoughtful and sweet and it’s not like anything Bucky has ever had before. And why does Bucky feel emotional about that?

And Gale and the others were having a totally different conversation but now everyone is looking at Bucky instead because he got freaked out and pulled away and Gale got concerned because of course he did and now Bucky’s face feels hot.

So he just nods and looks at Gale and sees those beautiful blue eyes looking back at him, wide and sweet and concerned. “Yeah,” Bucky says quietly. “Yeah, heat would be good.”

Curt gives him a knowing look, flicking his eyes from Bucky to Gale and back, that says almost exactly what Bucky just told himself: stop overthinking this and just be fuckin’ happy that this amazing guy likes you. Curt knows everything Bucky has been through in the last several years. He knows how stupid Bucky can be. And he knows that Gale is one of the best things that could ever happen to him. If Bucky would just accept that.

“I’ll get the heating pad,” Curt tells him, with another look that says now lean back into his arms and quit bein’ stupid.

So Bucky does. He sighs, and he lets himself lean back, and Gale’s arm immediately wraps back around him like it belongs there, and then gentle lips are being pressed to the top of Bucky’s head. And Bucky lets himself smile again.

“Wait what country has Whiskey been to that you haven’t?” Croz asks, now that the attention is off Bucky again.

“Austria,” Gale replies. “That’s where she was born.”

Benny pops his head up and looks, surprised, at Gale. “She was born in Austria?! I thought she was born in Germany.”

“What?” Gale laughs. “Just ‘cause she’s a Hanoverian?”

“Well, yeah,” Benny nods.

Gale shakes his head. “No. Austria. I’ve been to Germany.”

“You imported your horse from fuckin’ Austria?” Brady asks, incredulous. This makes Bucky snort, because clearly Brady knows nothing about these ridiculous equestrian folk. Not that Bucky does. But he’s learning a lot.

Gale nods, and Benny adds, “My gelding came from France. Just about an hour from here.”

Curt returns with the heating pad and helps Bucky wrap it around his leg. “15 minutes, okay? No more.” Bucky nods and Curt returns to his own bed, manhandling Brady so he can sit back down. Brady promptly flops back across his lap.

“Fuckin’ equestrians,” Alex mutters, shaking his head. “Buying horses from Europe and then full sending themselves over shit at break-neck speeds.”

“Yes, that is the motto of FEI eventing,” Gale deadpans, and that makes Bucky laugh, too.

“And he’s funny,” Brady exclaims, nearly smacking Curt in the face as he throws his hand up dramatically. “Damn, Bucky. You gotta tell me where you found this guy so I can find one just like him.”

“On a plane,” Bucky says through a yawn. He grabs onto Gale’s hand, which is resting against his side, and pulls it up close to his chest, interlacing their fingers. “A very special plane.”

This somehow leads into a weird conversation about dating horror stories that Bucky doesn’t much feel like contributing to. The whole world already knows his biggest dating horror story, after all. How much worse can it get after a crazy ex forces your coming out on a global scale?

He’s started letting himself drift off instead, his eyes blinking tiredly closed as his breathing slows, and he settles even more fully into Gale’s arms.  

“How’s your leg?” Gale asks him eventually. Bucky blinks his eyes open again when he feels Gale shift, leaning forward to carefully unwrap the heating pad from his leg. The caring gesture makes Bucky feel as warm as the heat did. “It’s been 20 minutes,” Gale whispers. “Don’t tell Curt, but I understand wanting that heat just a little longer.”

Bucky smiles sleepily. “It’s alright,” he says. “A little sore. Somethin’ fuckin’ weird happened when I landed the second to last pass.”

“I know,” Gale says soothingly. “You gonna be alright for tomorrow?”

Bucky nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be alright.”

—

Bucky has always liked rings. Any other event, the slightest inkling of nerves can have a domino effect on your entire body, and one second you’re doing fine, but the next, a bit of tension in your neck can cause you to land all wrong or smack your foot on the apparatus. Next to no one, for example, ever wants to start all-around on pommel horse, because if you are anything other than completely relaxed and perfectly focused, the odds are high that you fuck it up.

Many of the other events are not much better, in that way. There’s no room for nerves or fear on the competition floor, because no matter how good you think you are at hiding them, your body will betray you. It’s Bucky’s biggest concern this season, in his first handful of competitions back after near-certain career death. He’s used to being the cockiest bastard on the floor, for better or for worse. He’s used to having next to no doubt about his capabilities. In the past few months, though, he’s found himself still battling the remnants of the anxiety and the fear that nearly kept him from returning. He fears the pain that he felt when he flew off that high bar. He fears another set back. 

After nearly having his career ripped away, after crawling his way back, he fears losing it again. For good.

Still rings are the most forgiving for people like Bucky, who have the brute strength to pour their entire being into that routine. That’s what still rings are about – pure strength. It’s about holding your body as still as can be in positions that other people think look impossible. It creates an illusion of sorts, making people wonder how it can be real. It can be almost meditative, despite the burning in his muscles. All he has to do is hang on and channel the wayward energy in his mind and body into staying still. No matter what Bucky is feeling, he can pour it all into rings and it’ll hardly cost him a thing.

In Tokyo, it was anger. He became known for “angry gymnastics” after his sister died. Between that and the pandemic, he was mad at the whole world, and he shoved all of that emotion into his gymnastics. He limited his focus to one event, and then another, making sure every single move was perfect, crisp, strong out of pure spite and adrenaline. He pushed his way through all of it, straight-faced and with a sheer determination to keep going. Don’t look around, don’t look back, don’t look forward, just do.

The rings are served well by that kind of emotion, and that’s what got him his first silver medal on this apparatus three years ago.

He’s not angry anymore, though. That’s another thing the commentators have caught on to. He’s not angry. He looks like his normal, cocky, carefree self, just having fun out there. The angry, rough gymnastics he was doing three years ago has refined itself into something elegant, strong, unbreakable. He came out the other side somehow better than before, they say. 

He’s not angry anymore. But he isn’t always carefree either.

He’s relieved all he has left is rings. Because he’s worried anything else would betray the anxiety slowly creeping over him, the exhaustion weighing him down, the pain crawling up his leg like a vine. He can try to push it away, convince even himself that he doesn’t feel it. But the apparatus always knows. The body always knows. Even if your mind doesn’t. If Bucky’s learned a single lesson through the process of returning to the gym, it’s that.

In the hall outside the warm-up gym, Beacon keeps gently booping John’s bad leg like he knows something is wrong with it before staring up into John’s eyes and wagging his tail. Don’t be dumb, he seems to be saying. Don’t hurt yourself.

“I know, bud,” Bucky says, reaching down to pat Beacon on the head with an encouraging smile. “I’ll be alright, though.”

“The dog’s tryin’ to tell you something,” Curt points out as he sits on the ground beside Bucky, stretching out his hamstrings. Rings and vault finals are on the same day, so Bucky and Curt arrived at Bercy arena together, bright and early this morning. “You sure you’re alright?” 

Curt is still worried about the way Bucky landed on that pass yesterday. It was just the right kind of slightly off that it could easily have screwed up something in Bucky’s knee, and he’s concerned that it was something more than some ice and heat last night could fix.

Bucky just shrugs as he straps on his brace. He’d been debating over whether or not he should wear it for rings, since the entire routine relies on upper body strength alone aside from the dismount. But after yesterday, even he can admit that the brace is probably a good call right now.

“It’s a little sore,” he admits. “I mean, I’ve done three all-arounds and an extra floor routine in less than a week. I think that’s to be expected.”

Curt frowns and pauses his stretching to sit up and look Bucky in the eye. “Would you tell me if it was bad?” He knows what it is to push through pain to hit that one more routine. Just one more vault. One more pass. It’s the nature of the sport, always has been. That toxicity of gymnastics might be getting better now, but every athlete is the same. Every gymnast. Just one more. I can do one more.

Bucky shrugs again. “I’m fine, Curt. Just one more event. And it’s my best.”

He smirks before kneeling down in front of Beacon and giving the dog a good scratch and a kiss on the head. “Got my good luck charm and everything. What can go wrong?”

He pats Curt on the shoulder, and he hopes to God he’s right.

Today is Bucky’s fifth day walking through that doorway to thunderous applause in Bercy arena, and no matter what, it always feels surreal. Today is his last day in this stadium, and Bucky takes a deep breath as he walks out, smiling brightly and taking it all in one last time. He knows better than anyone that the career of a gymnast is uncertain. He hopes this isn’t his last Olympics; he thinks, if he plays his cards right, he could make it to LA. But there are no guarantees in this sport, or in any sport, especially after the injury he’s had. So he looks around him at the Olympic rings on the walls and the packed stadium cheering “USA! USA! USA!” as he walks out. And he actually lets himself think, for a moment, about how goddamn lucky he is to be here.

The Tokyo Olympics were a mess for him, between COVID and the death of his sister looming over him. Paris has been the exact opposite, with team and individual success, good times with his friends, meeting Gale, getting to actually be with other people. He has loved every single moment.

Despite having to prepare for vault finals, taking place in just a couple of hours, Curt manages to leave the back gym and get to the competition floor for Bucky’s turn on rings. He stands to the side of the rings podium with the coaching staff, calling out things like “You got this!” and “Show them what’s what” and “Just remember, you’re a fuckin’ Greek God! Buck said so!”

Bucky chokes as he takes a drink from his water bottle, looking over at Curt and mouthing what the fuck?

“It’s true! He did!” Curt yells back.

Bucky laughs and shakes his head. Somewhere inside, he knows Curt said that on purpose to get him to relax, but hey, if it works it works. His eyes scan the crowd as he adjusts the ring grips on his hands and rubs chalk over them. He quickly finds the rest of his team, and right beside them are Gale and Benny, who have taken the time to be here this morning before rushing to Versailles to watch equestrian in the afternoon. 

Bucky waves, as has become custom this week. As if he can’t start his routine without waving. Gale smiles at him and waves back. 

“Go John!!!!” Benny yells. He’s quickly joined by the other gymnasts, who get to their feet and jump up and down obnoxiously, yelling his name. Bucky shakes his head and re-focuses on preparing for his last event of the Paris Olympics. He checks his brace one last time.

When the green light finally comes on by the judges’ table and the announcer calls his name, he salutes, and then he jumps up to grab the rings. His coach grabs his legs from behind and lifts him higher while he adjusts his hold, then eases him down so he’s hanging from the rings, arms straight. Bucky’s on his own. 

He rotates himself upwards, keeping his whole body perfectly straight, so his legs swing up over his head and then back down again in a full 360, leading into his first strength hold, a cross. “The iron cross,” they call it, because the gymnast is meant to look immobile, still as a statue, a pillar of strength. Bucky has spent years perfecting it. He spreads his fingers out, letting go of the rings so his hands rest flat on them, just to show off a little. It’ll make the commentators laugh, because even though it’s such a small gesture, it’s so characteristically John – a little bit of a show-off.

He lets himself drop down, feeling that familiar pull straining his shoulder muscles before he pulls his hips upward, folding himself in half with his upper body upside down, legs straight, toes pointed towards the ground. He holds himself like that for just a moment, gathering his strength, before launching himself upwards, flipping his legs up towards the ceiling so he’s upside down again, landing in an inverted cross. His muscles ache as he holds himself up, arms out to the sides as straight as possible.

Don’t wobble, he thinks, trying to keep his legs still and straight, toes pointed towards the ceiling. 2 seconds. Each strength hold must be held for 2 seconds, but sometimes those 2 seconds feel like forever.

Letting himself drop out of the hold with a quick exhale of relief, he throws himself into a couple of swing elements, flipping around first in a tucked position and then in a piked position until he stops stock still in a perfect maltese. His body is perfectly parallel to the floor, his arms extended below him, holding him steady. One. Two. 

From there he sinks down until his body is level with his arms, his arms out to the sides. A maltese cross. One. Two. 

Relax. Drop, hang upside down. Flip up into a handstand. Hold. Drop. Up into another handstand. 

And then the kicker. The skill that, if he can hit, will indisputably secure him another medal in this event. It’s the reason his difficulty score is the highest of anyone here. The reason he qualified first in the world for rings. 

He used to flip himself up into another maltese cross, impressive and highly valued in itself. But before his accident, he’d been working on another skill that he’s wanted to achieve for years. When he came back to gymnastics after months of being told he never would, with his leg giving him grief but his upper body strong as ever, he threw himself into perfecting this skill because, if absolutely nothing else, he still had rings.

First he does another swing element, flipping himself up until he stops, perfectly immobile, in another cross. One. Two.

Then ever so slowly, he tilts himself back, his legs extending out in front of him until he’s parallel to the ground again but facing upward. His arms are extended out to the side, level with the rest of his body. An inverted maltese cross.

His shoulders burn. His core. His back. His everything. But this skill has been attempted by so few, and done well by almost none, that of course John Egan took one look at it and went “I can do that.” 

So he did it. He’s doing it.

He competed the skill in qualifying, but chose to omit it from all around in an attempt to save his upper body. He made the decision to bring it back today, because he can’t resist a little showing off. And, he won’t lie, he wants that damn gold medal. It’s only the third time he’s ever performed this skill in competition – once at Trials, and twice in Paris, and he grits his teeth and forces himself to breathe through it as the two requisite seconds seem to pass in slow motion. One… Two…

But finally, they do pass. Fighting the urge to gasp in relief, he lowers himself out of the strength hold and flips up to one final handstand. A couple flips on the rings to build momentum, and then he’s launching himself up into his dismount, flipping and twisting through the air until his feet hit the ground and he sticks the landing perfectly.

The moment his feet hit the mat, the entire arena is cheering and applauding for what he just accomplished. Even in a foreign country, an unmistakable chant of “USA! USA! USA!” goes up around the stadium for John Egan. He forces a smile, feeling a sense of pride wash over him for a fraction of a second. It’s just too bad that it can’t last, because the moment his feet hit the mat, no matter how perfect of a landing it was, he felt the pain.

Pain shooting up through his left leg, filling him with some instant, vague sense of dread and nausea that he knows he has to push through right now.

He keeps that damn smile on his face. And why not, he just gave the best rings performance of his life. He hit the skill he’s dreamed of hitting for years. He’s in Paris, and a French stadium is blaring with a chant for the United States, for him.

He salutes the judges, because he isn’t officially done with the routine until he does. He pumps a tired fist in the air. It’s uncharacteristic, not like his typical scream of “LET’S GO” as he hypes up the crowd, much like he did after floor. But he just… can’t. He can’t right now.

“Fuck,” he mutters instead. 

He needs…

He needs…

He lowers himself slowly to the ground with a grimace, pulling his left knee up close to his chest as he leans back on his left hand. Then even that is too much, and he lets himself fall onto his back so he’s staring up at the ceiling, staring up at the bright lights that blind him.

“Bucky!” Curt yells from the side. “John?”

The USA chant disintegrates into nothing as the stadium goes silent.

...

...

Please don't be mad.

Much of Bucky's rings routine comes from Asher Hong's in 2023 (right through the first maltese cross)

After the maltese cross, I have Bucky doing an inverted maltese cross (or inverted swallow), which is kinda insane

Side note: I would die for Stephen Nedoroscik ❤️❤️

[therealdisneyfan2319]

The Spider and The Witch Chapter 1: The Experiment and The Flu

Summary: Peter Parker and Y/N L/N are junior biochem majors at Empire State College.  Peter needs a volunteer for his research project, and a series of events leads Y/N to come down with the flu...or does he?

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Male Reader

Warnings: Language, blood, needles, description of medical procedures

Word Count: 3.6K

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

“I don’t know how I managed to let you talk me into going to the lab with you this early.”  You stretched your arms out as you yawned, keeping your arm just so to keep your coffee upright.

“Dude.  It’s 10 am,” Peter chuckled.

“These good looks don’t just happen, man.  I need a full nine hours.”

“Maybe if you went to bed before 3 am-” “Now wait a minute.  You’re lecturing me about going to bed early when you used to pull all-nighters slinging webs around Queens?”

“Shut up!” He swatted your arm before you had the chance to pull away.  “At least I was doing something productive with my life, not playing Pokemon-” “Completing the Pokedex is extremely productive.  Now it might not be the same kind of productive as extracting the Spidey mutation from your genome sequence, but categorizing all the Pokemon from the Galar region is an important, time-consuming task.”

Peter rolled his eyes as he rolled down the sidewalk next to you.  You chuckled, taking a sip of your coffee as you shook your head.  This sort of banter was typical of your friendship.  Peter was one of your closest friends and easy to joke with, but you also worked well together.  It didn’t hurt that you were both biochem majors and had the same sort of scientific mind.  Since you met in world civ last fall the two of you had been as thick as thieves.  It didn’t matter that he was three years older than you, a grade above you, or that he used to be Spider-Man.  Finding out that the guy in the Stark tech wheelchair who loved Led Zeppelin and Star Wars was once the friendly neighborhood superhero was not what you expected when you went over to his dorm to hang out for the first time.  Peter was used to people freaking out when they found out and was thrilled when you shrugged it off.  

“So what exactly are we doing today?” you asked.  You had volunteered to help him out with a research project he was working on.  He hadn’t told you much about it, only that it was being funded by Tony Stark and dealt with genome sequencing. 

“Nothing too crazy.  I need to take samples of your blood.  I’ll use those as test subjects against my blood.  That’ll be the control sample.”  He punched in a sequence on the keypad on the arm of his chair.  Tank tracks dropped down from the bottom of the seat as the chair began to climb the stairs to the science building.  

“You know how to take blood?” you asked, holding the door open for him as he wheeled into the building.

“Yeah, well…yeah.  I mean Sam taught me how to start an IV and drawing blood is the same principle, right?  You gotta find the vein.”

“Oh my god I’m gonna die,” you mumbled as you turned down the hall toward the lab Peter worked out of.  It was one of the newest labs on campus.  Tony Stark had donated a sizable amount of money toward the Empire State College science and research division with the provision that all the money go toward funding better facilities for students.  The new building had just opened at the beginning of the semester.  Peter was more than excited to have a space stocked with the latest Stark technology to work on his newest endeavor.  It was more convenient than trying to head upstate to the Avengers Compound a few times a week.

“I won’t let you bleed out on me, man.  Worst comes to worst we’ll just throw some webs on it and send you to New York Pres.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better about all of this?  Because it’s totally not.”  You hated needles.  You hated doctors.  The thought of someone who was decidedly NOT a medical professional fishing around your elbow for a vein made your stomach flip flop.  Maybe a large coffee wasn’t the best idea for breakfast…

The bright fluorescent lights in the lab snapped on as you opened the door.  They seemed unnecessary as sunlight flooded the windows that took up the entirety of the easternmost wall.  The overhead haze added to the sterile feel of the room: the latest in Stark Technology, ranging from microscopes and test tubes to autoclaves and fabricators, shone brightly against the lights.  It was nerd heaven, stuffed to the brim with everything anyone could ever need for any experiment they could dream of.  You threw your backpack on a lab table adjacent to where Peter was setting up his laptop.  Once you were done helping him out, you figured you’d swing by the library to start cracking on the paper for your art history course.

“So I already took my own samples earlier this week,” he explained. “I’m storing them in the fridge over there.  Mind grabbing them for me?” He motioned with his head to the mini fridge that sat next to the sink.  You walked over to the fridge, seeing a rack of blood vials sitting on the bottom shelf amongst the Petri dishes of spores and sole can of Coke.  “Don’t drop it,” he cautioned as grabbed a ziploc baggie of medical supplies out of his bag.

“Whoop.”  You fake tripped, stumbling around and swinging the tray to and fro aimlessly.  He shot you a somewhat serious glare.  You returned a toothy grin.  

“Dude if you drop that-”

“Relax, Pete.  I’ve got steady hands.”  You placed the tray on the table in front of him with the grace of a swan.  “See?” You raised your hands up defensively.  “Steady hands.  I should be a goddamn surgeon.”

“Ah yes, Dr. Y/N L/N, the surgeon who hates blood.”  He dumped the contents onto the table.  Out fell some rubber gloves, a rubber tourniquet, needles, tubes, alcohol wipes, and cotton balls.  You gulped at the sight of the paraphernalia.  “So why don’t you just sit there and roll up your sleeve so we can do this.”

“Are you sure you can’t just, like, prick my finger?”  Plopping onto the stool you rolled up the sleeve of flannel.  

“Do you want to sit here and fill up these tubes one drop at a time?” Peter asked from the sink.  The tray of tubes, empty ones and ones full of his blood, sat next to him as he washed his hands.

“Good point,” you muttered.  It felt like you were chewing on the flannel from your shirt.

“Just relax, I did it on myself the other day and I turned out just fine.”  There was a slight waver in your friend’s voice as he spoke.  Try as he might to hide it, Peter was nervous, too.  He snapped on the baby blue gloves.  You turned your head away, refusing to look until he was done.  “Can you just make a fist for-good okay, yup, I see the vein.”  The sudden coolness of the alcohol against your skin made you shiver, but you refused to look.  Even as you felt the slight prick of the needle against your skin you kept your eyes firmly shut.  “Told you I wouldn’t let you bleed out,” he chuckled, replacing the now full vial with an empty one.

“How many vials do you need?”  You strained your neck as you tried to look as far away as you could from the scene unfolding in front of you.

“I don’t know, I did six of my own.  That should be enough,” Peter shrugged.  

Six vials of blood?  Why did you even decide to do this in the first place?  You could’ve been back in your dorm in the comfort of your bed, sleeping the morning away, instead of having your blood forcibly removed from your body.  Peter definitely owed you big time.  

He removed the tube from your arm, handing you a cotton ball to stop the bleeding.  “That should be it.  Mind putting those back in the fridge for me?”  

The second your feet hit the floor your knees wobbled.  It was probably psychosomatic, but the sight of all your blood sitting inches outside where it should be made you the slightest bit queasy.  “Yeah, no problem.”  You shook your head quickly.  There was no way you were going to let yourself puke or, even worse, drop the vials and have to do it all over again.  

It took all your effort not to look down at the plastic tray in your hands.  You concentrated all your effort on staring down the refrigerator.  That ultimately meant neglecting your untied shoelace.  Before you realized what was happening you found yourself tripping over your feet.  While you managed to not lose your balance completely, the sudden jolt sent two of the vials crashing to the floor.

“Shit,” you mumbled as you set the tray on the floor.  There were shards of glass and blood splattered across the marble tile.  You quickly glanced over your shoulder, hoping Peter hadn’t seen your mistake.  Much to your relief he was engrossed in his notebook.  That bought you some time to quickly clean up the mess.  You looked around for a roll of paper towels, spotting the roll next to the sink and tearing off a few sheets.  The crimson puddles looked like they’d be easy enough to clean up.  Not thinking too much about it, you knelt down and started blotting at the spill.  A sudden stab caused you to recoil from the ground in pain.  As you examined your hand, you noticed a small scratch on the pad of your thumb.  

“You good?” Peter’s voice broke you away from staring at your hand.

“Yeah.  Dropped one of the vials and cut myself.  I’m good.”

“Was it one of mine or yours?”

“Uhh, mine.”  Truth be told you had no idea if it was yours or his.  There was no way to know which vial was which.  Peter knew.  He probably had it marked down in his laptop or something.  But you remembered that his vials were facing you when you pulled them out of the fridge.  That meant yours were away from you and there was an empty spot there.  Yeah, it’s mine.  “You need me for anything else?”

“Nah, you’re good,” Peter focused intensely on his laptop, typing away as you finished cleaning up your mess and putting the samples away.  “Are we still on for dinner tonight?  Ned’s dying to try out that new Thai place on Watts Street.”

“Yeah, shoot me a text.  I’m headed to the library for a bit.”  You slung your backpack over your shoulder as you headed for the door.  “See you.”

“Thanks again, Y/N.”

******

You spent the rest of the day in the library researching and typing and revising your paper.  The minutes ticked by as you lost yourself in the endless barrage of Western paintings you thought looked all too similar.  Yet as the day passed you found yourself feeling strange.  At first you thought you had been studying too long.  The words on your laptop screen seemed fuzzy and you found yourself re-reading the same paragraph on Donatello about a dozen times before anything seemed to click.  Then the library seemed to drop ten degrees before abruptly shooting up another twenty.  Sweat on the back of your neck ran down your shirt and chilled you as fast as it cooled you off.  The lights were suddenly too bright and even the silence was too loud.  

Shit, you thought to yourself as your felt heat radiating off your forehead.  It was probably the flu.  It had been making the rounds through campus for the better part of a month, so you weren’t completely surprised.  Closing your laptop and shoving your books in your bag, you texted Peter as you left the library:

Got the flu.  You and Ned go without me.  I’m gonna go to bed.

The walk back to your apartment wasn’t long, but it was a near-impossible task in your ever-worsening condition.  Every step felt like you were trudging through molasses.  Your legs were as heavy as cement and you prayed you wouldn’t trip because you weren’t sure you’d be able to get up again.  Tears clouded your vision.  Rubbing your eyes didn’t help.  The only thing on your mind was downing half a bottle of Nyquil and passing out as soon as you got back to your room.  

Much to your relief you walked into an empty apartment.  Peter and Ned must’ve already left for dinner.  You kicked your shoes off and dropped your bag at the front door.  There was no doubt in your mind that this was the flu: you felt like absolute garbage as you shuffled to your bedroom.  As you flopped on the bed, clothes and all, your body felt like it was made of lead.  Bone-crushing fatigue consumed you as you shivered on top of your bedspread.  You prayed that you’d be able to get a little bit of sleep to help dull the pain.

When you woke the following morning, you were surprised to find that you didn’t feel sick at all.  In fact, you felt better than you had in a long time.  There wasn’t any evidence that you felt so poorly only a few hours ago.  You swung your legs around to the side of the bed and stared at the floor as you thought about what you were going to do all day, but when you tried to stand up something was off.  As you stretched your arms above your head, you felt something engulf you: it was your blanket.  It was stuck to your hands.  

Did I spill Nyquil on my hands? you wondered as you tugged at the fuzzy fabric.  No, I didn’t take any Nyquil last night.

It took a considerable amount of effort to tear just one of your hands away only for it to stick on the wall as you balanced against it for support.  Paint flaked away as you ripped your hand away.  At that point you weren’t sure if you were still asleep or not.  Squeezing your eyes shut, you reopened them to find flakes of drywall still attached to your fingers.  What the hell?  You shook your hands, trying to free yourself of the debris, but as you flicked your wrist downward, you heard a loud thwack.  The sticky white residue covered Marty McFly’s face on the Back to the Future poster that hung next to your bed.  That same white residue balled up on the inside of your wrist.  When you tried to pull it off, a long spindly web came with it.

Oh fuck.

The implications of what just happened were huge to say the least.  The vial you broke yesterday wasn’t yours: it was Peter’s.  His blood contaminated yours when you cut yourself and now you had…spidey powers?  It couldn’t be.  This all had to be some sort of nightmare.  You were just a normal guy trying to make it through college relatively unscathed.  Sure, your roommate was an Avenger and that was a little weird, but other than that your experience was pretty normal.  You had no interest in having superpowers or saving the world whatsoever.  

“Everything okay in there, man?” Peter asked as he rapped on your door.  It momentarily snapped you out of your panic.

“Uhh yeah, yeah.  I’m good,” you hollered through the door, still looking at the web in your hand.  

“You sure?”

“Yeah.  I’m okay.  Just, uhh, knocked my blankets off the bed.”  You wiped the web up with a tissue, praying that it wouldn’t stick to your hand, too.  It didn’t, much to your relief.  

“How are you feeling?” he called as you started taking off your clothes from the day before.  A long shower would help you figure out what your next move was.  

“Good.  Great actually.  I feel fine,” you responded, throwing your dirty t-shirt on the ground.  “How was dinner?” “It totally sucked, man.  You didn’t miss much,” Ned’s voice was faint as he yelled from the kitchen.  

“Bummer.  I told you that you should’ve done Indian instead.”

“Well hey if you’re feeling better why don’t we go for lunch?” Your stomach grumbled at the thought, but images of getting stuck to the subway pole loomed in your mind.  “Yeah, sure,” you responded absentmindedly while kicking your pants off and grabbing a clean pair of sweats off your bed.  

Wearing nothing but your boxers, you opened the door fully intending to go straight to the bathroom.  The second Peter and Ned saw you their jaws dropped.

“Dude!” Peter exclaimed. 

“Wha-?”  

“Woah!  Y/N, when did you get ripped?” Ned asked.  You were thoroughly confused.  None of your hobbies included going to the gym or working out.  What were they talking about?  The lights came on in the bathroom and as your eyes adjusted to the brightness you were shocked.  It was like someone took a  chisel to your body overnight.  There were muscles in places you didn't know there could be muscles.  The reflection in the mirror showed you defined pecs, swollen biceps, and the faintest outline of a six pack.

“What the hell?” you mumbled in disbelief.  Your fingers traced over your chest, taking in the new body you’d inadvertently fallen into.  It was a surreal experience seeing an unfamiliar body in the mirror.  It was almost like you were watching someone else live your life while you watched from outside yourself.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Y/N?” Peter asked as he wheeled himself in front of the bathroom door.

“Yeah.  I’ve just got spidey powers now.”  It didn’t even feel like you were the one saying those words.  Haze clouded your periphery, forcing you to focus on the newness of your body.  It was an out-of-body experience in every way.  There was no way to really process the profundity of the situation.  

“You WHAT?”

Time stopped.  Everything stopped.  Peter’s face contorted with dozens of emotions in the blink of an eye.  Glass shattered on the kitchen floor as Ned’s glass slipped out of his hand.  

“Umm, yeah I guess.  I’m starting to think that was your blood that I cleaned up yesterday.”  You half expected Peter to be furious at the truth, but the beaming grin on his face told you otherwise.

“It worked!  Holy shit it WORKED!”  He spun his chair around excitedly, whooping all the while.  “Mr. Stark, oh man, he’s gonna be so excited!  He’ll want to meet you.  Man, now he doesn’t even need to look for someone to be the next Spider-Man because…oh this is great, I can teach you everything!  That way you’ll be WAY ahead of where he thinks you should be and he’ll let you onto the team fas-”

“The next Spider-Man?”

“I mean yeah, Mr. Stark will definitely want to talk to you about it,” Peter replied.

“Dude, I’d kill to be Spider-Man!” Ned added, sweeping up what remained of his glass.

“No way, absolutely not,” you groused as you stormed out of the bathroom.  “No offense, Pete, but I don’t want to be an Avenger.”

“You don’t have to make a decision now.  I don’t even know if he’ll ask.  I mean he probably will but that doesn’t mean anything.  He might just want you to come in to do, like, more testing or something.”  Peter gingerly walked back his excitement.  The prospect of training the next Spider-Man brought a sense of optimism back into his life that had long been forgotten.  Losing his identity as the local neighborhood web slinger stripped away a core part of his identity: Peter Parker and Spider-Man were one in the same.  Sure, he still used his powers and webs when he could, but it wasn’t the same.  Tony had offered to make him an exosuit after the accident, but he knew that he couldn’t do it anymore.  One close brush with death was more than enough for him.

“Look,” you sighed, “I’m not you.  I don’t want to go out and swing through Manhattan and stop burglars or fight weird lizard things.  I just want to be a normal guy doing normal guy things with my normal guy friends if I can even call the two of you normal.”  Peter chuckled half-heartedly.

“Wait, can you stick to the ceiling?” Ned suddenly asked.  You sighed again, shaking your head as you extended your arm up and jumped: you stuck.  “Woah!  That’s sweet!”

“Yeah, it is kinda cool I guess,” you chuckled as you watched your fingertips completely suspend your dead weight from the ceiling.  Getting used to your new body was a curious sensation.  Everything felt sharper.  Colors were brighter and bolder.  You saw incredibly small movements even from the corners of your eye.  Your body felt stronger and faster and more agile.  It was strange, spending your entire life as a regular human being and then waking up one day twenty years later with these weird spidery feelings tingling inside you.  

“Do you want one of my web shooters?” Peter asked as you dropped down.

“Web shooters?”

“Yeah,” Peter replied questioningly as he raised an eyebrow.  “You don’t think I can actually make webs, do you?”

You responded by mimicking the hand gesture Peter frequently showed you, flicking your wrist downward as a raveled strand of webs flew out of your wrist.  Peter ducked his head out of the way in the knick of time while Ned’s jaw dropped in amazement.  

“Didn’t see that coming, did you?”

[midsummereve1993]

Why didn't you tell us.

Talks about pregnancy

July 16 2021 7:00 am

Hope everyone likes this, I tried my best. Please let me know what you think and leave comments.

Buck walked into the fire station and quickly changed into his work uniform and raced up the stairs to sit at the table and grabbed an apple, “anything new today he said biting down into an apple and saw Bobby looked at the team and then back to the stove before speaking. “We have a school class coming today to learn about the firetrucks so we need everything done before they get here bobby said placing breakfast on the table before looking At his team, “guys um today I have somewhere to be at twleve today buck said wishing he could here for the class but he had other plans. “Everything ok buck bobby said looking to the men he thought of as a son, it wasn't like buck to have to miss a school class anx the whole week he ahd be acting strange which worried him.

“Yeah everything good i just have some things I need to take care of is all he said not wanting to spill the details because he was unsure on how they would take the news he was hiding, the reason buck had to miss the class was because he was needed at an ultrasound today with his wife and four year old daughter. No one knew he had a family nor children and just assume he was single because he was very secretive about his personal life. He met his wife Scarlett nine years ago and then a few mouths back they had found out she was pregnant and today they would get to know the gender of there baby, buck secretly hoped it was another girl because he enjoyed being a girl dad.

He would be happy too if it was a boy but he wanted a little girl to love abd cherish and he hope that if it was then she would look like her mama, “you know buck has be acting wired am I right hen said watching as he walked down the stairs and Turned to look at her other col-workers. “I agree eddie said leaning against the table, Eddie was close to buck but here lately he was very secretive and he knew he was single but here lately he hadn't be himself.

“Hey cap do you mind if I take a lunch break today at twleve he said wanting to follow buck and see where He is going, “sure but any reason bobby said coming to stand beside eddie. “Yeah I'm gotta follow buck because we was supposed to meet up laat night but he called and said he couldn't make it but I swore I heard a women voice in the background saying somebting about pickles he sadi turning to his captain and saw his face of disbelief. “OK well be careful please can't have yall hurt bobby said walking away and Eddie watched buck clean and shine the firetrucks, at noon Buck took off and eddie followed him and was surprised when he pulled up to the hopsital and it made his blood run cold.

Parking the Car he got out and followed buck into the hospital and stopped just around the hallway in time to see him kiss a women who was nineteen weeks pregnant making eddie curse in Spanish and now everything made sense, how buck was aways looking at his phone or how he was careful to not let anyone see his phone and eddid sit down on the chair and waited. Mean while buck and Scarlett Set in the room and she turned to her husband with a smile, “I'm so exited but be honest baby what would you like she said wanting to know his opinion on everything. “Well honestly I want a little girl who is beautiful as her mamma with your eyes he said leaning In to give him a kiss, “what about you scar you never turly told me what you wanted he said holding her hand and couldn't belive they were at this moment.

“I want a little boy who is handsome lime his daddy and has his eyes she said picturing a little boy with blue eyes and blonde hair buck imagine a little girl with grey eyes and red hair which made him smile at the thought as he heard the door come open and close and turned to the door, “hello Mrs and miss buckley the doctor said walking to the machine and turning it on before turning back to them. “Thos is gotta be cold the doctor said as she pour some jelly on Scarlett tummy And press the wand to her stomach and move it Round, “ok here we go baby is healthy and the heartbeat is on point so that's good so would yall like to know the gender she said turning to the parents Who nodded there head as she Turn back to the Screen.

“Ok looks like your having a little girl and Scarlett started crying tears running down her eyes as she turned to look at back who also had tears running down his face, buck was in awe at the fact he was having a little girl and leant into give his wife a kiss as the doctor wiped the jelly off her tummy and they got some pictures before heading out into the hallway, jjst has they got out into the halway buck froze on the spot seeing a familiar person sitting in the chair ad felt his heart drop at being caught. “Eddie what your doing here he said walking over with Scarlett Feeling his anxiety going through the roof, “Well I was worried for you and decided to follow you.

“When you called last night and ask me a question I overheard someone and got worried so I choose to follow you I honestly wasn't expecting this he said looking at buck and the women next to him, “eddie this is my wife Scarlett and we just found out we are gonna have a little girl he said feeling a little nervous on how eddie would react to the news. Eddie still couldn't wrap his head around. "That buck had a wide and a child on the way, “why didn't you say anything Eddie said, seeing buck breath a sign of relief. “Because I wasn't sure on how yall would React because yall all think I'm a player which i’m not and Scarlett is proof of that, buck always felt like the other put him on a high stool while working at the station and he felt it was best not to say anything.

“Dude you know we love you right and i’m sorry you felt that you had go keep this a secret but i’m happy for you buddy come here eddie said pulling buck into a hug before hugging Scarlett, “you know we can go back to the station and you can tell everyone and I promise everyone will be happy eddie said and buck knew he was right. He had to tell everyone so after nodding his head he headed with Scarlett back to the station and pulled into the parking lot before turning to look at his wife.

“you ready baby he said and saw her head nod as they got it the car and heading the station and eddie meet them at the door, “ok so everyone is upstairs and waiting for us to get back and all three of them headed upstairs and stopped at the top of the stairs and saw the stares everyone was looking. “Hey buck, did you get everything squared away?" Bobby said looking at buck and the women, “yeah I did look um there's something I need to tell gall and I hope that you will understand he said before grabbing Scarlett hand and looking back to his team.

“This is my wife Scarlett and we are expecting a little girl in July," he said, letting the secret he had been keeping for a while out and seeing everyone's faces made him relieved when he didn't see a mad face in the house. “Congratulations buck we are so happy bobby said walking over to him and giving him a hug before pulling Scarlett into a hug. “The reason I didn't tell y'all because I was afraid of how yall would react and since I started working here you had thought I was a player because yeah yall thought I was so I figured I better not say anything.

“Buck we are sorry we made you feel like that hen said feeling guilty, “I Mean you had news and we made you feel like you couldn't share it with us, she said, giving him a hug before everyone else did the same. “It's ok because eddie talked some sense into me and made me realize I needed to come clean, " i’m glad you did because now we can celebrate the wonderful news Bobby said, leading Buck and Scarlett to the table and celebrating the fantastic news. that day buck realized that he had family and he could finally come Clean with anything, “on July 4th later that year irelyn rose buckley came into the world healthy and was loved by her whole family and a host of aunts and uncles along with cousins.

[reigningqueenofwords]

Goliath

Pairing: Steve x Reader Word count: 1,145

Read on AO3

Part 11 of Looking for the Captain

The next morning, Steve was surprised when you knocked on his door. “Aren’t you supposed to be in class?” He furrowed his brows. Did he get your schedule mixed up?

“I’m dropping out.” You said casually, as if it didn’t matter. “I came to see if you wanted to come hang out.”

“Wait a minute. What? You’re dropping out? Why?” He didn’t understand. “You were so hellbent on being a doctor. What happened?”

“Put your shoes on, let’s go out, and we can talk.” You leaned on the doorframe. “Please?” Your tone tugged at his heart.

He instantly nodded. “Yeah, give me a second.” He agreed easily. His mind was all over the place. What had happened? Was something said? Finally, he grabbed his phone and wallet. “Ready. Where are we headed?” “How about breakfast and the zoo?” You felt that was a nice calming place. “And we can get lunch at the zoo, too?”

Sitting at a little table, you finally brought up dropping out of school. “I can’t be a doctor, and I think we all know that.” You told him before taking a bite of your breakfast sandwich. “I agree, you guys may take care of whoever is after me now, but what about ten years from now? You guys can shadow me at school, but you can’t if I’m a doctor.” You explained. “You can’t be sitting there while I’m with a patient.” You pointed out. “I will always have to look over my shoulder as a ‘just in case’ type deal.”

Steve sagged as you spoke. You were right. “So, what, do you plan to just hide away? Not live your life? Aside from being a doctor, didn’t you want a family one day?” You had to have other things that you wanted in life. If you couldn’t have this, you could have other things. Right?

“I’ll just find something else I can do. With bodyguards. I will have to plan my life with the idea that I might need protection at some point.” You shrugged. “And maybe. I hadn’t thought too much about that. It wasn’t like a top five goal.” Of course the idea of a family was nice, but would you be setting your possible kids up for the same life?

“What were your goals?” He wondered.

“Become a doctor, visit every continent, be an extra in a movie, make enough money to donate now and then, and finally…get a dog.” It wasn’t the most extravagant set of goals ever, but they were your goals.

He chuckled. “I love how ‘get a dog’ and ‘visit every continent’ are both top five goals.” He smiled. “Those are some good goals.” He couldn’t deny that. The two of you ate in silence for a few minutes before he leaned forward on the table. “How about after the zoo we get you that dog?” He grinned at the look on your face. You stared at him, surprised. He didn’t seem the type to just go out and do something like that. “You want to get me a dog?!” You gasped. “Today?!”

“Yes. We’ll go to the shelter and look. If you see a dog you want? It’s yours.”

You surprised him by getting out of your chair to rush over to hug him. “Thank you!” You were beyond excited. “Will Tony let me have a dog in the tower?” You pulled back a bit to look at him.

“He loves you. He’ll let you.” He blushed as you kissed his cheek before sitting back down. “Does anyone else know you plan to drop out?”

“Wanda. I told her yesterday before training.” You were glad that you were getting off your chest. “I’ll have to tell the others soon, though.” There was no way around that.

Nat was sitting with the others at lunch, scrolling her phone, when your picture came across a news outlet. She paused to read it. “Looks like we’re getting a dog.” She mused.

“Wait, what?” Wanda asked, confused. “Where did that come from?”

“According to this article that was just posted…Rogers and Y/N went to the zoo and were just spotted at the local animal shelter. Sources say that they were looking at a big dog and talking about cuddling up.” She shrugged. “I don’t know why they don’t just date already.” It made the most sense to her. He liked you, you liked him. You guys hit it off and everything.

Bucky kept quiet. Part of him wished you’d asked him to hang out, but could understand why you didn’t. You were closer to Steve. Then he paused. “Wait, shouldn’t she be in class?” He noted, making everyone else realize the same thing. 

“Yeah, actually.” Clint nodded. “She should. She hasn’t skipped a class since she moved in.” He told him.

“Guess we’ll ask when she gets back.” Bucky mused. “Maybe she just needed a day off." 

Wanda didn’t comment, knowing it wasn’t her place to tell the others what she talked about. “I wonder what kind of dog they’re getting.” She decided to change the subject back to that. “And what they’ll name it.” The tower had never had a pet before!

You laughed as your new pet- Goliath- pulled Steve into the tower. Steve had a massive bag of dog food over his shoulder, and you had the bags with the other dog supplies you’d stopped to get. “It’s a good thing you live with superheroes, doll.” Steve told you. “He’d drag you around.” 

“He’s just excited.” You chuckled. “I bet if you gave me the leash he’d stop pulling.” You teased. 

He stopped and offered you the leash. Goliath was looking around for a moment, sniffing the air. Once you had the leash, and Steve had the bag, you started walking towards the elevator. You were not being yanked. “Oh, come on.” He sighed. 

“Just just knows you can take it. That’s all.” You smiled over at him. “Means you’ll also be the favorite for tug of war!” You pointed out. 

“That’s true.” He nodded. “Wonder how the others are gonna take to him. Or how he’s gonna take to them.”

[halt-kun]

Hunter x Hunter 404 - Speculation

So today, we might meet Kurapika's new students

or Zhang Lei discovers his ability

or Melody and Kacho kill Luzurus

or Halkenburg dies

or Benjamin dies

or Fugetsu dies

I'm afraid of what has been prepared for the last few chapters

or maybe it's just going to be more set up

I AM AFRAID EITHEY WAY

OOOOH ZHANG LEI

and Kurapika accurately guessing what lord narrator told us a while ago

I guess Zhang is still wary of Pika and believes his coin could be a form of harming his whole entourage at once.

OH YEAH

manipulation, I didn't think of that

well interesting that the design changes

I'm interested in what Kurapika thinks about it

he seems to have guessed the same thing as Zhang, that it would be truly useful only after he becomes king

Kurapika is soooooo smart

I love him

okay so awakening nen is a nice counterpart but I do think waiting isn't the way to change value

I thought it would be earning more coins but I'll go with Kurapika's speculations for now

Good idea but then what do you suppose would happen to someone who already uses nen ?

Awaken another ability ?

A doucle edged sword

or a poisoned gift

I doubt Zhang thinks this could lead to manipulation of coin owners so it should be fine

Maybe his beast can use Zhang's coins to defend him

Zhang Lei is really inquisitive at times, Shimano guessed right. He's being so passive agressive there (as a prince should)

I hope we see more of her soon

Zhang lei has ties to the mafia after all so I doubt he could do much on the first floor but it's best not to antagonize them. Especially has the boss of the Nostrade clan

TRUE

I didn't think about that

thanks Togashi

Oh no Anxiety Kurapika is back on track

BUT TRANSITIONING TO HALKENBURG I GUESS

Look at our boy Leorio, working hard

Well I doubt any doctor can heal a new pathogen on its first description, especially one as agressive as the one used on Halkenburg but Cheadle is a three star hunter specialized in medicine.

Can Halkenburg ability transfer memories ? Like does he know all the details about the pathogen he used ? Cool

Well, but why does he want to let his og body die if Balsamico will regain control after one day ?

Will Halkenburg die for real then ? Does he want to transfer his soul again ? Just for a shot at Benjamin ?

Oh so you will stay in Balsamico

but aren't you done then ? If you go to sleep he'll most likely kill himself

OH I FORGOT,

this is Halkenburg's own ability used as an extension of his spirit beast enhancement ability

So Maybe he can actually try to assassinate a prince like that

but most likely not

What happens then Halkenburg ?

So they die ?

shit, poor guys

Well

Halkenburg, you are scary indeed

and your guards too

OH, so your body ahs to stay alive in order to maintain the control

Well smart to take sleeping pills Halkenburg but you're also going to be taking a lot of risks

WHAT DO YOU MEAN

LET CHEADLE DO HER WORK

Well rip Halkenburg body then

Will we see all princes just to hype the next chapter then ?

RIP MY GUY

you have two weeks left to live

More hype

I didn't tear up but this clearly slightly destroyed me

Can I hug them ?

OMG, BABY MARAYAM IS BUILDING SHIT

his death will be so sad

in the meantime Biscuit is being the cool aunt, older sister she wanted. Poor Marayam, he lost his big sis and now must project so much on Biscuit.

Oh yeeeeees, more Kuramaina our Babypika shipping ongoing

I mean awkward talk stage for now

they so want to kiss

(this is clearly a crazy ship)

Oh yes the crazy butch that wants to kill herself in front of Wobble

Well Babymaina isn't looking forward to it

and Ben seems to have some intel on these curses.

But good thing Kurapika is onto her

Gooooood ideaaaaaaaaaa KURAPIKA (the theme of the chapter)

he's going to be so anxious, poor boy

SHIMAAAANO, please Togashi, let her do more cool stuff, she can learn nen too

It seems we'll stop on Halkenburg's death then

RIP

What an ass doctor, they let him die too

WELL

Ben is a nice guy

somewhat

because he would kill a bunch of people to be king

and doesn't really care a lot of the time

what a prick

But Halkenburg is grateful

is it because it will further his plan or just for the nice gesture ?

So we'll switch to the troupe next chapter ?

I WANTED TO SEE PIKA'S CLASS

I love the Heil-yi though

so it's fine

I can watch them be massacred

it'll be fun

[morphomixz]

Eclipsed in Paris Pt 4 Miraculous x Reader

9:26:36 AM Thursday, April 18th Paris, France

After the first hour was up, we had maths. The teacher assigned a group project, leading to me "working" with Chloe and her minion Sabrina. By working, I mean Chloe telling Sabrina t do all the work while she gushed over Adrien Agreste, her childhood friend. Aside from Chloe, the only person who's tried to interact with me has been Sabrina who ultimately said to stick with Chloe.

Anyways, apparently, this class is learning the French equivalent of Algebra 1 in the U.S which isn't terrible. The girls I sat next to in Ms. Bustier's class have been glancing over here and whispering to each other since. If the people here are as judgemental as they are in America I may be better off returning to the U.S. The only thing that prevents me from believing this at the moment is the old man from earlier. Hopefully, he's gotten where he was trying to get to. For now, I guess I'll just look out the window.

10:39:10 AM P.E Class

I finally got away from Chloe and the two glaring girls long enough to take a breath. P.E is not my favorite class in the world, but it may grow on me since it gets me away from, well everyone who seems to have a problem with my existence. Today is just the flexibility test for the school year. I actually suffer from benign joints hypermobility syndrome so this shouldn't be too bad, well at least not until my doctor sees me next. She keeps telling me to reduce how much I push my joints so that I don't put myself in pain anymore. 

Anyways, it's partnered so I actually have a chance to talk to someone other than Chloe. My partner is a girl from my class, I think her name's Alix.

"Uh, hi. I think we're partners." I awkwardly said. 

"Yeah, just don't slow me down." was her response. 

It wasn't exactly the nicest response, but it also didn't seem to have any animosity in it. 

" Alright class, get into the sit and reach position. Your partner will push down on your back as you stretch with LIGHT pressure." came the first command from the teacher. 

Alix and I actually worked fairly well together. We talked a bit during the exercises about the school, who's who in the class, and Alix's favorite sports. I told her about New York, part of the reason I came to France, and it seems she came to a conclusion about me. Hopefully, it was a good one. 

11:45:27 AM Lunch Break

We're supposed to go to lunch at home or in the cafeteria for an hour. Chloe had something brought to the school for her, and I headed to the cafeteria with Alix. She invited me to sit with her, a guy named Kim, and his friend Max. I ended up with a tray with a fruit salad, orange juice, and a questionable-looking pear for lunch. 

"So, you're Y/N Bourgeois? The idol?" the guy who Alix called Kim asked. 

"Yeah, that's me. Though I'd appreciate it if you didn't make a big deal out of it." was my response.

"And, you're Chloe's cousin?"

"Yep. Though she and I only reunited recently. I've been living in America since I was six."

"So, you have been influenced by her very little?" was the question, Max asked. 

"Under her influence, yes. Her mother is a different story." I replied.

"Alright, alright guys. We're here to eat lunch, not dissect her traumatic backstory." Alix said, setting down her tray, to which I smiled at her. A true genuine smile, not one of my practiced model smiles. 

By the time lunch was over, I already had three friends and a permanent place to eat lunch if I wanted to.

12:53:41 PM Science

My next class had me a bit worried. Apparently, the teacher isn't the best with new students... or old students...or students in general. 

Anyways, in this class, I'm sat next to a very tall guy. According to the teacher, his name is Ivan. He seems intense when you look at him, but I'm sure he's a sweet guy when you get to know him. In fact, he seems very shy in comparison to everyone else. We were only taking notes on chemical compounds today, so it wasn't a terrible class. The teacher didn't put up with anyone messing about, but I made eye contact with Kim and couldn't help the small giggles that left my mouth. Chloe's been blowing up my phone all of the class. Apparently, Sabrina doesn't quite get chemical compounds and she thinks I may. be able to explain it to her, so she can do Chloe's homework. I guess I'm doing a slight tutoring session after school. 

2:16:36 PM Art Class

A little under three hours left of school, and I finally reached a class I can get into. I can technically do whatever kind of art I want in this class so I went over to the drawing table. Alix is doing so form of street art with spray paint, the girls from earlier are using alcohol markers, and Chloe's in the corner on her phone like always. I guess I better start working on designs for my new line like Auntie would want me to. I started with a fitted bodycon silhouette and shaded it in with a variety of reds, adding layers of black around the bottom to form a filled-out skirt.  Apparently, my presence finally got to the two girls from earlier because one of them came over and just stood in front of me.

"Can I help you?" I said, rather peeved that she was blocking my sunlight but also because she likely already assumed my personality. 

"Yeah, you're Y/N right? Chloe's cousin?"

"That would be correct. And you are?" I could feel my left eyebrow arching.

"I'm Alya and my best friend over there is Marinette. We were wondering if you were the Y/N Bourgeois who owns the fashion label "Serpentine" and does all that idol work?" 

"I am. Is that all you wanted?" I replied. 

I know my tone was rude but these girls have done nothing but glare and whisper about me all day. 

"How about you come to our table and sit with us? Marinette does some designing herself and I think you guys could bond over that." came Alya's reply. 

So I went over and joined them. Marinette apologized for the glaring. She apparently assumed I was just like Chloe but after seeing me interact with Alix, Kim, and Max she decided otherwise. She needs to work on that. It will be her fatal flaw if she doesn't. 

The two of us exchanged numbers and began showing each other our designs. Her designs are exquisite. Auntie would be impressed for sure. However, she seems awful shy about showing them off. 

3:30:57 PM History

I have 1 hour until school is over, and my last class is history in Ms. Bustier's again. I sat at the back of the class next to a girl named Lila. She immediately pulled out her phone and asked for a picture as well as my phone number. She's the only one who's made a big deal about my status all day. However, I took the picture to be polite and she tagged me in it. My Instagram began blowing up with the comments under it. Apparently, this Lila was the one I was rumored to be hanging out with. Anyways, today's lesson was on Ancient Rome, including mythology. Lila kept trying to distract me with a conversation but I wanted to remain focused on Romulus and Remus. She began blowing up my phone with texts which made me immediately regret giving her my number. 

4:30:15 PM Outside the School

Well, I made it through my first day of school without a major incident. Now, Chloe and I were waiting for the limo to show up. She's been talking to Adrien for the last 10 minutes, and he looks particularly uncomfortable with her clinginess. The limo finally pulled up, followed by another one, which I assume is Adrien's. When we got into the car, then came the beratement. 

"You shouldn't hang out with Marinette Dupain-Cheng or her friends. It's bad enough you're hanging out with Alix and Kim."

"Chloe, if I wanted your advice on friends, to which I've never been allowed to make that discernment myself I would have asked. I'd appreciate it if you dropped it because I want to be able to make decisions for myself for once in my life."

Okay, a little harsh, even for Chlo but did I lie? My first boyfriend was even chosen for me so I should get to decide who I hang out with at the minimum. At least she dropped the conversation. I headed up to my room and dropped my stuff on the couch located at the center of the room.  However, there was a strange box left on my coffee table. 

I opened the small box that had a necklace, and a small light came out of it. When it disappeared, a small bat-like creature was floating in front of me. 

"I'm sorry to say this but, who are you?"

[lifblogs]

I went to such a shitty doctor today.

The dude lied that you can see bulging discs on x-rays, and then he said I clearly didn’t have any. Joke’s on him I know I have bulging L5 and S1 discs. So yeah, liar.

He was also apparently supposed to prescribe a sedative for my MRI tomorrow since that’s the norm around here with people who have spine injuries, and I get that because that table hurts. But nope, he did not. Yeah, it’s kind of a moot point because the sedative usually prescribed makes me feel like crap and does not sedate me at all, but he clearly ignored my pain and needs here.

My pain was further ignored. I was told to move around. Good luck having working ear drums after that since I’ll just scream the entire time from AGONY. I can barely walk, can barely handle sitting in a wheelchair, and this dude tells me to move around? I can’t lift my left leg!!

He barely looked at me, barely felt where I had pain, and then lifted my left leg WITHOUT ASKING FOR PERMISSION FIRST WHICH CAUSED ME A TON OF PAIN.

So yeah, calling the office to get a new doctor tomorrow, or else I’m stuck in bed till the 31st waiting for this guy’s shit opinion and shit behavior, and fucking lies.

This asshole doesn’t care about me, my pain, or my quality of life at all. Pretty sure if a patient goes to you in such dire need that you should do something to figure out what’s going on. I know I would listen to someone who came in in a wheelchair and complained of pain so bad they’ve been bedridden and have had their brother helping them out with daily needs.

Like, why the actual fuck does it feel like no one wants to take care of me? My life, and my pain mean nothing to most of the doctors I’ve seen for this. I’m always waiting for the next appointment or the next doctor to feel better, and they do jack shit while I’m getting worse every day. Like, yeah, an ER doctor gave me excellent pain meds and told me what he suspects is the problem, but god, I wish I could’ve gone inpatient to get an MRI there and have someone take care of me because no one’s doing it out here like he assumed they would.

I uh, didn’t want to be here earlier because of all this. I think I’m better on that front, but I am so. DONE.

[the-firebird69]

One judge blocked one law and really that's what they're blocking you're not supposed to make laws that's an executive order and he's across the street trying to demand his way saying he's holding something is not and is very evil to himself people know what was said and what happened he tries to cover it up and it shows us bad for him he's a fool a big fool now we don't like this guy we don't like him staring at her son starting trouble but we're a lot bigger than he is and we should stop that little piece of s*** and I agree this has been hell. So he's going around this morning he still is cuz he's a dummy and he's saying they stopped one executive order sorta and there's like 300 others soon to be over 400 and he's seeing it all morning. Tons of people heard it and people hate them. But the judges started paying attention and said you're not respected at all and they're putting them down and bothering them as a side note JetBlue has opened up a direct flight from Florida to Manchester New Hampshire and it's Miami I believe and that's where Artie disappeared Arnie and they see it in the movie The Terminator and these idiots are going to be fooling around with the robot a lot of times they make these robots and they don't let people control them but they put their brain in there to make it look like them there's almost nothing they can say change their copper's mind captain and now it's on okay you people are dumb yeah people hate you for it we hate you for it you're useless now we're going after you for being useless yeah taking you down taking your stuff and more but this morning you ran around and that's back from the side which is affecting people right now and they're changing things abruptly flights down here being announced means it's a big big deal.... As it goes he was young and screaming for hours is what it seemed and it became annoying to a lot of people so they told him to shut up and they wouldn't and it went on for a while and the judges were getting pastored at 8:00 a.m. all day and they kept getting past your day still are and people tell them to shut up round about 2:00 today people started to say you will shut up and they went after them and they start saying no we won't and they're hassling them and ruining them blabbing at them yelling about it screaming about it shouting about it and it went on for a while another aside---Ken Thayer is stuck in the hospital and Trump's people are running the hospital and they are holding him hostage and Brad grabbed what they were after and Tommy f was trying to grab it and they know what it is they got a lot of it back no because the guy running the New Orleans operation for NCIS is a trumpster clone and that's where they wanted it to go and they're fighting over it but it's information on practically everybody and they're using Ken to attract Ken's people who have a lot of information and he's losing his shirt in the hospital tons of information is coming out granted his kids are a little special the Ken knows how to get things done he's telling them what to do and they're saying they're not exactly clear on it and stupid s*** like that and he says you're going to do what I'm telling you now and they're saying yeah probably so there's a big fight over that and they're threatening to get the credit card to get more information and on TV are these people are slobs and they're mean and nasty that they need to take a freaking break in a permanent one. But that's what they're getting and they're grabbing his people and a lot of information on the pseudo empire is going on and Mac Daddy had a bird

Thor Freya

Olympus

Talking to a lot of us no it's happening to Ken more than anything

Mac Daddy

We need to get in there now

Justin I know I'm not the doctor

[pwblogarchive]

August 2003

August 4, 2003

3:53 pm

“i got a Mil in the bank and i'm still in the grime.”

you wish you knew what was going on. and thats okay cause so do i. i think we may be going to the U.K. soon. drama across two continents. oh yeah. i have finished the new harry potter book. and contrary to everyone who talks shit. it was great and really sad. we should have a bookclub and talk about it.

August 4, 2003

4:16

“I Only Write To Get Inside Your Head”

hey. sorry this one is so late. the last couple days have been pretty crazy. it started out hot and late on saturday. my sister woke me up when were supposed to be leaving. so i pull up late as usual. we make it down in time to eat some icees and check out some bros in white hats. pretty hilarious. there was an RV behind the stage that was airconditioned for the dudes in my band that are so white they are almost see through. i however do alright in the sun so i went out and braved the outside hang out. when we hit the stage the problems started right in the beginning. my bass was tuned like permanently to drop W. the kids rocked though and we got it on anyway. the barrier between us and the crowd was something insane like 6ft. so everyone jumped the barrier during “chicago is so two years ago”- it made that sing along go how it’s supposed to. it was perfect, exactly how i imagined it should go. the Q101 security freaked out and started trying to drag kids out and threaten us. so we asked kids to just go back down and told them we would come to them. the rest went without a hitch and was completely off the chain. ha. i met a ton of news kids and someones super hot mom hit on me. all in all it was a great time. didn’t get to check the spin doctors but i bet they smelled/sounded like a bunch of dirty hippies.

i will write a bit about the other show later.

status report: new songs are coming along great, you will be excited. we may be heading over to the U.K. alot sooner than we expected and we will have some exciting stuff to announce soon about October. what i’ve been rocking too lately: new saves the day, new dashboard confessional, Mos Eisley, 50cent, and Madball.

oh yeah, most importantly i have finished the new Harry Potter book. such a sad ending. come up and we’ll chat about it.

true love never dies. peter wentz

August 5, 2003

11:49 am

“Your Skin Speaks To Me And Admits Where You’ve Been (Even When Your Mouth Does Its Best To Refuse)”

wake up. put the dogs out. commandeer an entire box of count chocula. send away for the free franken berry shirt. write about all the fakes that drop my name and lie to my face and love to talk about me behind my back. email. nap. get ready to go out to eat with my mom. where is my tour tonight?

August 5, 2003

3:33 pm

“i wish i was as invisible as you make me feel.”

you used to call me-you used to call me a friend. you hate fakes (you are one). i know you're reading this (i'm sure you tell everyone you don't). you probably don't think it's about you. but it is. i never was anything but nice and sincere with you. i guess you don't get what you give. you only get away with talking about me cause i let you. just so you know i play dumb- but i know how it goes. the joke is on you. you know who you are.

have a great summer.

August 6, 2003

“Keep Quiet, Nothing Comes As Easy As You.”

wrote a new song today. it feels good to be at it again.

i’m leaving on a jet plane.

August 7, 2003

“Everyone Is A Taker Or A Giver But Noone Likes To Think Of Themself As The First.”

hey. we’re back out. we’re in love. i wish i was in love. peterpeterpumpkineater

August 8, 2003

2:39 am

“i've seen wounds that look better than this friendship ever did”

sometimes when i read things it gets my mind going too fast. sometimes it makes my tongue move too quickly and its easier to sit back and soak every word in spite than to try and figure myself out. "you guys have changed" i have heard too much lately. i have spent the last 6 months of my life in a van- i haven't changed. what goes on here has. roll call: if you are really my friend i want to try and make the time to spend with you next time i am home- for the record your friendship (you all know who you are) means more than i could ever express to you.

otherwise run your mouth and don't pretend like thats not all you have. (you wouldn't have drama if you didn't make it, could you live without it). stop lying to yourself. i know what you are, do you?

August 10, 2003

10:05 am

“You’re Sleeping With Your Light On Like You Want To Be Found Out”

got back from three days. it was great being out again. i ripped my pants, boxers and ass on andy’s drumset. it hurts. i am icing it as i surf the net. we are gonna work on some more new songs tommorrow i will let you know how it goes. we leave for the radiotakeover tour on tuesday, so we are just getting geared up for that. we should know within the next two weeks what M2 and Fuse think of our video and shiat. my recommendation for the week is that you go and buy the new giveuptheghost single. i don’t know why i even bother try to write after reading what wes has to say. ill leave you with that:

“our love is all that we’ll ever have

boys and girls, guys and dolls

you were finding faith in bathroom stalls

and broken beds

spring fractured spines

fall for the right kids

at all the wrong times

and in a world of sluts

we keep the wet dream alive

yeah, our drought is drying out

you go nowhere in a nowhere town

and no one’s listening

to the sound of breaking down

and breaking out is just wishful thinking

we’re taking walks around the hearts

and homes we’ll never own

desperate and true, thinking of you

borrowed and blue, sinking with you”

August 10, 2003

11:15 am

why do i do this to myself?

i don't get why you don't see how much of a joke you really are. you project all of your hatred for yourself on other people. you're tongue works fast and hard one of these days your self-esteem will catch up.

i won't waste anymore time on this.

thanks for teaching me how to feel cheap and shitty.

i just figured i would return the favor.

August 13, 2003

1:10 am

“The Smell Of Rain On Hot Cement”

we’re in iowa. tonight was a blast. we rocked our first night with spitalfield, with help from our good friends in the lifestyle.

oh yeah. www.straylightrun.com it will help you medicate yourself. its john nolan from TBS’s new band. you will love me for hooking up the love. Pete

August 13, 2003

1:11 am

“one day you will love me.”

medicate yourself. john nolan from taking back sundays new band: www.straylightrun.com

August 15, 2003

12:22 am

my fist versus your teeth

friday Q101 8pm- we're up again. listen and vote. 773 591 8300. thanks if you already did.

August 16, 2003

1:02 pm

“our drought is drying out.”

so many mixed feelings. the past dangles over my head. i miss you. broken down in a library in montana. listen to q101 on monday at 8.

peter

August 19, 2003

1:15 am

“i am that gasp of breath on your deathbead (stale and panicked) but you're still dying for me”

i got a list of things in my head that i miss about you. id love to write them but i dont want to give myself away to you this easily. this fall is going to be great i think. if its not than my plans simply arent working.

you are a boomerang, you'll see.

oh yeah keep voting.

[chimary]

So, let's talk about the Low City. No, it's not a new in-universe short story. Even if I'd love to write it but like. I feel like real world actualities make me have to take a break. Even if the political message in it deserves to be told. It's just that, I do not wish to do it badly and -if it ever goes out of the really small sphere reading it- do NOT wish me writing it badly to do wrong by those fucking fighting for their right to be alive and to not live in an apartheid.

Yeah, the evolution of the israelo-palestinian conflict is what make me take a break from something really close to my heart. And I just want, under here, writes about differents characters or organizations and what they represent. It is important to note that this story was not supposed to give parallels to real-world events (that I knew way to few to nothing about) but pushing some of today's society worse trait to the extreme taking aspiration from the past. Anyway, here's the list:

The Low City being slums and physically separated from the other part of the land. It is supposed to be a critic about the way capitalism treat the poor and those in needs. But it's also how it sometimes is as easy as seeing a line to make other seem less than humans. All of the character are from or stay in the Low City because they are all supposed to show how individuals react differently to bad situation.

The firefighters. In the story, they are the same kind of organization than would be Doctors Without Borders. In the notes, I wrote that I should show the two groups working together. And contrary to the doctors, the firefighters were supposed to be recognized as a criminal organization. Because one of the message is to not accept laws that justify the death of someone else. Breaking law is sometimes needed to keep your right to life

The mafia. If you do not count some of the heads, most of them came to it due to the mafia being the sole hope they saw. Dragon's adopted dad came to it because they were the only ones that promised they could get a better life to his daughter. It was not show, but Dragon did not spiral down in worse and worse things only for her dad (she only accepted to work for it because of him). She saw desesperate people justifying desesperate actions and, when she thought she went too far and the government so easily make her an evil figure, she did not had the will or the strength to deny it to herself. Because when people try, again and again, to only be pushed around, aside or killed, they are way more likely to do actions they knew will make them SEEN despite how it may reflect on them.

Magma Columba and Phoenix - by being superheroes, they themselves break the laws. Magma has chronic pain, make worse if she shafeshift to much or to fast that makes her unable to perform her self-assigned duties and Marcus, that will pass anyone wellbeing and safety of others before himself. He's black and trans. Yes, the two main characters being part of discriminated groups was a voluntary decision. But contrary to a lot of those that joined the mafia, they are not desesperate yet. They have each other to turn to, to say "We'll make this world a better place for the generation to come. A better world is a road hard to walk, on which you will often fail. Where you may see blood. But they're a tunnel at the end of the road you should never be forgetting. They're a feast we can lead others too, even if we're not sure ourselves will made it there"

The mafia boss does not need to lie. The government do. They lie to the other nations to gain their sympathy will making miserable something they think belong to them and is "invaded by nuisance". (Which yeah, they're a big comparison with Israel and its warcrimes with that government) Sure, he's a bad guy. He's not promising help (and doing things that, even if criminals activities, will help) because he's genuine. He just saw a way to take powers. It's all he wants, but even him know you cannot use people if you don't give them something to hope for. That if you broke already broken people and antagonize them, their only chance will to be to attack back.

And. Yeah. I wanted the story to be light-hearted in essence. But I do not want to write about a rebellion story and have it wrong when they're a real one taking place right now. Not when their is an actual, real-life government pretending ambulances, hospital and refugee camps being terrorist hideout. I cannot write about a government lying for its international image when we have a real-world government lie about being to late to rescue hostages from terrorist and then learning they ordered their armies to kill the hostages because that was the better way to not be concerned by meat shield. I cannot write about people being considered criminal because they try to do right or are desesperate when a country randomly imprison innocent people.

It is hard to write. That story was about treating others right, not taking right away. A preventive tall about what we should not want. Not a parallel. I don't know if I'll take it back one day. Maybe. Maybe I'll never fell like the right to write it again. Maybe you fell like you could (in which case, do). Whatever happens, this story had a message and a political stance I think is needed to be told.

And even if I'm not the good writer for it - even if I will never be, I want my intention to be known. And more than all, stand for those who have nothing. Stand for those whom voices are silenced. Don't buy lie you are told because you're scared to lose you comfort. Do not support those whose beliefs make others less.

[just-some-random-blogger]

meowmeow, lovie!! good morning/day/evening! im sorry i suppose ill be late today too bc its already 4:30 and i still have an essay to write *clown emoji aka me* nvm i deicided to write it during the lessons. 'i was kinda sad yesterday so when you didnt message me' im sososO sorry love TT i hope you read it during the day at least and im making you a company. 'i refuse to watch doctor who' well we'll see... or you in particular... AAAH im waiting for the song sm!! you always look pretty! tbh im waiting for any content you publish!! im so honored you ask me for a song to sing TT omg im crying im soso touched TT im not so cruel to ask you to learn a russian song nono. what kind of song do you want? idk about professional traits but if you tell me, next time ill give you some variants. since you mentioned russian songs, i recalled a song named 'russian princess' (it has english subs if you want to listen!) actually i feel so cool listening to it hghls. especially since i got into hotd. i feel not exactly like a royalty but you know this feeling of being special and just in tune with yourself? tbh i found this song a year or 2 ago and i associate it with the other events. also it has some witchy vibes as for me. andand!! was this # about my witch au? if you got it, you got it. no pressure, just curious. 'i would say i have no chill and am quite radical' nah i wasnt saying you ARE chill and hippie. but that you have such an image in the internet. tbh i want to go to protests but... im not afraid of getting hurt but ruining my whole life *star eyes* there was a guy who was walking NEAR the place where a demonstration was happening and.. hes been imprisoned <з lovely isnt it? universities were expelling their students for taking part in the protests. sorry i got carried away. good to know you have such a rebellious posture. i love you saint hannah TT youre so sweet <з 'i try not to think about that too much cos ill cry' ive been crying by the middle of the sentence. 'when we say we’re going to eat rice that means were eating a meal' oooh i got you. we have a tradition of eating bread with every meal but 1) its not the same thing 2) its not really strong among young people. its fine, you explained it pretty understandable. papak sounds cute. ig we have an equivalent. 'I HAVE SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO SHARE' YEEEY im always hear to listen to it! WOW its so really very very interesting to learn about this saying twice thing!! we also say things twice sometimes for the same reason or to just create a new meaning. i crave learning more about filipino! yeah i didnt know what is flan. 1) but tbh some people dont even see russia as europe.. even geographically... 2) its not a common dish in slavik countries (eastern at least). like we have a quite similar thing but it has a completely different name. 'i think it derived from spanish??' yeah its probably just my association. we dont have such constructions to unit words so it always sounds foreign. esp words like this. a silly stereotype but it gives me some old movie about mafia vibes. its also said in a deep af brutal voice in the beginning of a movie. 'I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS PERFECTLY BECAUSE' omg its cute. thanks <з love your big brain ooh kare-kare looks good. a hottie fdklfjd. please let me answer it in the second part bc 1)im running out of symbols 2) i wanna sleep 3) ill answer you during the day i swear TT ive got so many things to do it scares me.. just remember that im here! have a good day!! good luck with the classes and all! take care<з

HELOO LOVE

im ready T_T i might just type everything i lost last night

im sorry i suppose ill be late today too bc its already 4:30 and i still have an essay to write *clown emoji aka me* nvm i deicided to write it during the lessons. 'i was kinda sad yesterday so when you didnt message me' im sososO sorry love TT i hope you read it during the day at least and im making you a company.

T_T it's ok i told you not to apologize ur not the reason i was sad but i was hoping to talk to you. T_T its ok as long as you reply im good u have a life beyond tumblr girl its fine. here are your clown emojis 🤡🤡🤡 please take care of yourself

'i refuse to watch doctor who' well we'll see... or you in particular... AAAH im waiting for the song sm!!

ive been meaning to watch the episode with the 10th and 11th doctor with my mummy but T_T there's no subtitles T_T and matt like mumbling in the beginning and we dont have a speaker and T_T sad RIP maybe i'll at least watch that episode

you always look pretty! tbh im waiting for any content you publish!!

T_T Спасибо, любимый

im so honored you ask me for a song to sing TT omg im crying im soso touched TT im not so cruel to ask you to learn a russian song nono. what kind of song do you want? idk about professional traits but if you tell me, next time ill give you some variants. since you mentioned russian songs, i recalled a song named 'russian princess' (it has english subs if you want to listen!)

geez i listened to this song before fully reading your reply and T_T i thought it was the song you wanted me to sing so i was like DAMN ITS GOOD but then i realized i slowly regretted saying id sing anything for you even if its in russian T_T ALSO I CANT MAKE THE BACKING TRACK/MUSIC ITS EDM AINT NO ONE GOT TIME FOR THAT but now that ive read this in its entirety im glad your not making me sing it but HAHAH YOU KNOW I ALREADY LOOKED UP THE LYRICS AND GOT THE ROMANIZED RUSSIAN AHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAH i'll try to learn it it has an interesting melody but lol we'll see HAAHAHH

the genre im mostly drawn to has rock vibes but i like all music to a certain degree so pls i hope its english (or filipino HAHHAH)

actually i feel so cool listening to it hghls. especially since i got into hotd. i feel not exactly like a royalty but you know this feeling of being special and just in tune with yourself? tbh i found this song a year or 2 ago and i associate it with the other events. also it has some witchy vibes as for me.

i see it really does have have quite a strong ambiance so i can understand why you are drawn to it. i actually like this song! i love how you describe your feeling with music, this is how i feel about music. btw... are you in high school? i- i suddenly tried to think of what youre studying but i cant ?? think of anything omg T_T [are you a minor] YOURE NOT RIGHT? arent you 19? T_T HELP

andand!! was this # about my witch au? if you got it, you got it. no pressure, just curious.

YES and no but yes but idk i wanted to write it but now i dont T_T it be like that

'i would say i have no chill and am quite radical' nah i wasnt saying you ARE chill and hippie. but that you have such an image in the internet.

HAHHAAH BUT THAT LITERALLY MEANS YOU THINK IM A CHILL HIPPIE HAHAHAHAAHA

tbh i want to go to protests but... im not afraid of getting hurt but ruining my whole life *star eyes*

im not going to give you star emojis because i think you mean your are ok with yourself getting hurt and i dont support that

there was a guy who was walking NEAR the place where a demonstration was happening and.. hes been imprisoned <з lovely isnt it? universities were expelling their students for taking part in the protests. sorry i got carried away. good to know you have such a rebellious posture.

not really rebellious per se, more of like i think its necessary to speak out against the status quo if the status quo is bad and harmful and anti-people and pro-elite etc. i hope that guy is ok. ✊

i love you saint hannah TT youre so sweet <з

lol thanks idk what i feel about the nickname but i love you <3

'i try not to think about that too much cos ill cry' ive been crying by the middle of the sentence.

T_T

'when we say we’re going to eat rice that means were eating a meal' oooh i got you. we have a tradition of eating bread with every meal but 1) its not the same thing 2) its not really strong among young people. its fine, you explained it pretty understandable.

tbh i wouldnt call it a tradition its like a social norm to eat rice... ig culture? is more appropriate. its nice that you have parallelism with bread. and omg young people dont lke bread AHAHHA that's ? so funny lol its weird to think yall just out there eating .... idk fried chicken T_T DAMN WITH NO RICE T_T

papak sounds cute. ig we have an equivalent.

T_T HAHAHA what's the equivalent?

'I HAVE SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO SHARE' YEEEY im always hear to listen to it!

OK im going to take this oppurtunity to talk to you again about sandman because that was the highlight of my message before i ctrl zed but FIRST LET ME SAVE THIS AS A DRAFT

ok were safe team

OK so yesterday ??? or was it yester NO IT WAS YESTERDAY i went to the library and read the chonky sandman megabig comic and i absolute loved the issue with Nada and Dream

now i have a new perspective in this because i feel like i was internally misogynistic towards Nada after watching this video about likable female characters (you dont have to watch it but this channel is very nice) anyway this vid basically talked about how female characters are only 'good' if they're likeable whereas male characters can be good regardless of that and it made me think about this issue cos i felt more sympathy towards dream than nada and at one point i had feelings of annoyance with nada but Lasflahsf NOW i cant remember if it was before i read that issue or after but i recall having catharsis over how i treated nada after typing my thoughts about it to you

anyway as im typing this now, i also realized that its ok for me not to feel that much feelings at all towards nada because i mean i had been following dream throughout the other issues so its not weird to have me have stronger feelings about dream rather than nada

but anyway, i still felt that both of them were problematic in their own way and i'll just quickly go through why and why i love that issue the most

so nada ^^^^ is dream's first love T_T [CRYING] solely because [CRYING] she was the only person who said they loved him and actually sought him out [CRYING] MANS SUPER HUNGRY FOR LOVE AND COMPANIONSHIP ITS SO SAD and yeah because of that dream was like LASFHASFHAL I LOVE YOU TOO NADA I WANT YOU TO BE QUEEN OF THE DREAMING T_T [CRYING]

but like stupid mortals be T_T [sigh] nada, who had been warned by a bird king not to seek out the 'man' she was in love with because he was NOT a man was like 'but i still love him' then met dream, had the whole be my queen shebang and when she realized he was not human she was AW SHIT BIRD KING WAS RIGHT (bird king is a literal bird btw AHHHA) and was like dream we cant be together im sorry i was stupid pls let me go this is bad

but dream was like [pls i love you T_T i want you pls i need love]

[CRYING]

so nada desperately goes through all these things to evade dream the worst of which is she even defiles herself by taking her maidenhood WITH A ROCK (it's not to say that a woman impure because she is not a virgin or that she is anything based on their virginity bUT I SAY DEFILE BECAUSE DAMN THAT FUCKING HURTS AND SHE WAS SO DESPERATE TO REPEL DREAM TO DO THAT) but dream is like T_T social constructs such as this matter not to me im not a human pls i love you i want you be my queen

{CRYING}

AND POOR FUCKING NADA SHES LIKE ON HER KNEES BEGGING BUT DREAM FUCKING BEING DREAM IS LIKE PLSSSSSSSSSSSS but ig also he's kinda hot cos nada was like ok thats kinda hot that you dgaf about social norms so they make love on top of the mountain

BUT THEN THE FUCKING SUN IS LIKE WHAT IS THIS HERESY WHAT IS THIS ABSOLUTE SIN THAT A MORTAL AND AN ENDLESS HAVE SHARED UNION THEN FUCKING BURNS NADA'S ENTIRE VILLAGE ////:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk thats fucking petty of the sun if it was so bad it shudda burned nada no? but then again nada is the princess of the tribe so 😬😬😬😬😬🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 its cold hard reality the people have to suffer for their rulers' mistakes

and so when they woke nada was like ???? my people are dead T_T CRYING FUCK then jumps of the cliff and dies

NOW THIS PETTY FUCK DREAM COMES TO HER AND IS LIKE nada i love you then you betrayed me (ok this isnt the petty part because she willingly had sex with him on that mountain) then hes like youre choosing death over me (death is dreams sister so he was 100% jelly over this) and nada is like pls my people are dead because of me let me go

this is the part where i think well yeah theyre dead youre dead just be with dream forgetting that guilt exists lol AHHAHAHA

THIS IS THE PART WHERE DREAM IS PETTY COS HE WAS LIKE for betraying me i will punish you BUT if you agree to be my queen i;ll forgive you i;ll only ask you 3 times if you deny me 3 times im going to condemn you to fucking hell //////:

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

he petty AF for that wtf

so nada obviously is like no no pls dont make me say no again so dont ask me but DREAM PETTY AF AND I THINK THE COMIC EVEN SAID SOME SHIT ABOUT THAT AND SO DREAM

ASKED HER ANYWAY

and she said no and now she's in fucking HELLL AND BEEN IN HELL FOR MILLENIA

in one of the earlier issues + in the show dream sees nada when he goes to hell and asks him to release her and i think nada asks if he loves him and dream is smth like its been thousands of years of course i still love you BUT i stilll havent forgiven you T_T PETTY RAT

and i remember when i watched that i was like DAMN WHAT DID SHE DO HE PETTY AF and now that i know im like i see it but also he petty AF

UHH TEN THOUSAND YEARS THIS RAT PETTY AF

[end scene]

WOW its so really very very interesting to learn about this saying twice thing!! we also say things twice sometimes for the same reason or to just create a new meaning.

AW THATS CUTE HAHAHAH love that for us #russianssecretlyfilipino #filipinossecretlyrussian

i crave learning more about filipino!

OK OK LETS FINALLY TALK ABOUT JOSE RIZAL

this is him. it might not look like it but hes the original fuck boy HAHHAHA man had girlfriends all over the globe like pitbull who? he aint mr worldwide JOSE RIZAL is mr worldwife HAHHA LOL I TYPED THAT ON ACCIDENT AND SO REAL FINGERS SO REAL tho he never had a wife so /: HAHHAA

anyway he became the national hero because his work inspired the revolution and he did so with non violence so. i personally have a soft spot for andres bonifacio (the other candidate for national hero) but thats for another time

this andres btw

aNYWAY his most prolific works are 'noli mi tangere' which means 'touch me not' in spanish or 'like do not translate me' then its sequel 'el filibusterismo' or 'the Filibuster' in spanish whatever the fuck that means ok wikipedia says its It is sometimes referred to as "talking a bill to death" or "talking out a bill", and is characterized as a form of obstruction in a legislature or other decision-making body. whatever that means HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

so yeah he got killed for writing that lol cos he wrote it in spanish cos fuck you spain and then spain was like (: pew pew and shot him and he was like FUCK YOU YOURE NOT GOING TO SHOOT ME IN THE BACK IM GOING TO FACE YOU but he died before he could look at the firing squad so /:

side note the right pic is at rizal park which was where he was killed (it was renamed after him) and i remember going there for a field trip and being absolutely enamored by the story teller/tour guide who said the whole story and said the command by the spanish and the statues FIRED AT RIZAL AND I HAD A HEARTATTACK THEN AFTER IT ALL I WAS LIKE WOAH THAT WAS MEGA COOL but i dont remember what the spanish command was T_T rip i wish i knew so i could tell you any everyone else i want to tell this story to

HAHAHAH anyway unlike other works before jose rizal which was propaganda against the spanish, the works before rizal were like only allussions to opression but never direct. whereas rizal was like oh you see these spanish priests and all the governors THEYRE FUCKING L also you see how they treat the poor and farmers and fucking RAPE OUR WOMEN (: YALL ARE L FUCK YOU

and spain was like ? no fuck YOU bang bang (in before imprisoning him i think he only lived to be 30?) then after he died the revolutionaries called the katipuneros which is derived from (Dont freak out) the KKK (which means kataastaasan (the highest of the high) kagalanggalangang (the most respectable) katipunan (? like group or association, but also because of them katipunan kind of has this meaning of revolutionary or i guess to me) were like HELL NO LETS FUCKING GO SPAIN YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS FUCK YOU

(this is my absolute fav monument i remember seeing it for the first time as a child i was like DAMN THAT SWORD FUCKING LIT)

I MUST SAY the first time i heard of other KKK was in the black eyed peas song 'where is the love' and i was like HEY they dont like the kkk? why dont they like the kkk? how do they even know them? they fought for out freedom thats so mean of them not to like them in before my older brother said YOU IDIOT THAT NOT THE KKK THEYRE TALKING ABOUT T_T rip

enough of that

noli (we call it that so its short) basically follows this dude named crisostomo ibarra. in the first book he's just come home from abroad and is like i love it here then slowly is like WTF IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE WHY IS THIS HAPPENING and ... tbh its been a while i dont remember its entirety... but he fall in love with maria clara and theres this freaky rat ass priest that has ??? the hots for her but ??? hES SECRETLY HER FUCKING DAD? COS HE RAPED MARIAS MOM and maria also gets raped im not sure by who tho but FUCK THAT PRIEST (a priest rapes her) yeah its all very FUCK YOU she joins the convent because of that and i think because yeah crisostomo dies and shes like </3 i will never recover never love again

honestly dont quote me on this i could be getting so much wrong

then part 2 which is el fili (again shorted cos its too long) crisostomo ibarra who fucking dies in p1 comes back from the dead (cos he never died fr) as simoun and is like I DONT WANT PEACE I WANT PROBLEMS ALWAYS and plans to blow up a church or smth BECAUSE FUCK YOU SPAIN (honestly i cant remember) and marias like my beloved crisostomo T_T please come back to me and simoun is like WAIT WAIT IM COMING but maria is like fuck this shit and jumps off a fucking church cos life sucks

yeah the end thats about as much as i remember from the main plot but the books talk about a lot of social injustices too

my favorite (or should i even call it that T_T) is the piece about Cabesang Tales who is a farmer took barren land and made it fruitful and it took so long for it to be fruitful his wife and daughter died of fucking poverty then the church was like actually peasant this land belongs to God and by god i mean us gtfo this land and Cabesang Tales who was the picture of patience fucking snapped and was like FUCKING WORK YOUR BLEED BLOOD AND FIX THE LAND THEN BURRY YOUR WIFE AND CHILD HERE FIRST THEN AND ONLY THEN WILL I GIVE YOU THIS LAND

then bang (:

anyway they actually made a show about this! for once its not super cringe! its about this modern girl who goes 'back in time' or more like in the book and lives with the characters. i only watched ep1 & 2 and i havent even seen the cutie crisostomo yet so i have plans on watching it but idk when

HIHIHI THIS IS THEM Klay (the reader insert HAHAHAHAH) crisostomo then maria and i think slay <3 its actually available on youtube which is where im watching it but apparently it has no eng subs cos this one korean youtuber was complaining about it so yeah HAHHAHH the turned tables because we love kdramas here in the ph and complain if there arent eng subs on their shows HAHHAHAHA

HOLLUP LEMME JUST SAVE

ok were back this is such a long love letter

[end scene]

yeah i didnt know what is flan. 1) but tbh some people dont even see russia as europe.. even geographically... 2) its not a common dish in slavik countries (eastern at least). like we have a quite similar thing but it has a completely different name.

its ok flan is not paramount to life HAHAHH unless you make flan for a living in which case it is quite important. #1 i mean russia-- SHE 'UGE MASSIVE YEAH so huge she said eurasia and like pluto tiny #2 fair. what is the similar thing?

'i think it derived from spanish??' yeah its probably just my association. we dont have such constructions to unit words so it always sounds foreign. esp words like this.

i see. interesting to know. what about vagon you have that word surely cos i remember watching captain america civil war and it was one of winter soldier's tick words somethingsomething vagon then its translation was like freight train and my mom was like omg thats filipino bagon was like not the train per se but the things connected to the train you get me which i can only assume comes from spanish vagón exists but its wagon according to google so HAHA i got you there

a silly stereotype but it gives me some old movie about mafia vibes. its also said in a deep af brutal voice in the beginning of a movie.

I LOVE THIS STEREOTYPE TBH

'I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS PERFECTLY BECAUSE' omg its cute. thanks <з love your big brain

<3 HIHI i love your big brain

ooh kare-kare looks good. a hottie fdklfjd.

HAHAHAH yes it is very good i love it <3 now im hungry T_T

please let me answer it in the second part bc 1)im running out of symbols

thats fine

2) i wanna sleep

valid i will never stop you from listening to your body clock

3) ill answer you during the day i swear TT ive got so many things to do it scares me..

<3 do well my love you got this is can be intimidating but dont worry too much about it you got this! its normal to be anxious but you will overcome it

just remember that im here! have a good day!! good luck with the classes and all! take care<з

i love you so much my dear thank you for being here for me i am likewise also always here for you <3 take care

xxx

[writteninscarlet]

“Yeah, but it’s the thought that counts.” It was completely obvious to Peter just how powerful Wanda Maximoff was. The Scarlet Witch was one of the most powerful forces he’d ever had the pleasure of teaming up with, especially when they were usually on good terms. She could more than handle herself against anybody, whether it be a litany of HYDRA soldiers, or going face to face with the ruler of Latveria in Doctor Doom. But sometimes, even in the heat of battle, you could get some battle damage and even after the enemies had long since been completely webbed up and hexed out, those wounds could still hurt and stick with you. Battling an AIM airship over the skyscrapers of New York definitely wasn’t on Peter’s bingo card, but with Wanda’s help, the two of them manage to persevere and take their foes down. “Never thought guys in beekeeper and hazmat suits would pose as much of a threat as they did, but at least we got them all taken down right?” Peter lightheartedly joked, treating her arm with some medical tape and gauze after spraying some of the deep cuts that remained from their battle. “I know you can heal this yourself and by the end of the hour, your arm will in no way look like it’s been completely put through a meat grinder, but I just wanna help Wanda, okay? I promise,” he assured, biting off more of the medical tape, completing the wrap on her arm after biting off the last of the tape. “Normally after my Doctor Spidey appointments, I’d offer up a lollipop of some kind, but I’m actually short on that today, so the best I can do is pizza. You in a celebratory mood?” Truth be told, he could really go for something to eat, but something in his senses and right mind told him not to leave her up here alone. “Or if pizza’s not in the cards, we could always talk about what’s been bothering you?”

"Normally the villains around here do more damage in terms of fashion than physical damage, but I suppose every now and then there's a few that know what their doing," she mused, slight amusement in her tone. Her free hand was still held up, tying together and organising the last of the damage. Mending objects had certainly not been a talent of hers from the start - in fact, as anyone would tell her, she normally was the bringer of such destruction. But over time she had honed her abilities to heal and mend. Considering the damage she and her fellow Avengers or other team-mates could cause, it had come in handy. Honestly, she enjoyed being able to fix rather than break.

Wanda glanced over at the spider curiously, before turning back to survey her surroundings. Just to help. Well, that wasn't unusual for him and with an answer like that Wanda could hardly continue to jest or argue. It was unnecessary but she was grateful that he had perhaps stopped the wound from growing worse than it may have ordinarily. "Then, thank you. I appreciate the help."

His next words were. not rather surprising, but did cause her to pause. She wasn't exactly one to go out and celebrate after events like this - not since she had been staying with the Avengers. It was easy to have a drink or some food together and talk about the events when everyone lived together. In truth, Wanda supposed she could do with some food and she had no other plans. If she did not eat now, she'd end up back in her shop and find something to do that would take up all her time. And better to eat than to talk. She hadn't thought she had been so obvious about what was wrong, or that anything wasn't perfect. So often it was only Pietro or Agatha who could sense things amiss. She had truly perfected her poker face.

"I suppose it wouldn't be too bad to go and get something to eat," she remarked, a touch hesitant. Then she shook her head and smiled, relaxing a little. Ah, it was Spider-Man after all and hardly a stranger in most senses of the word. She needed the break, they both did, especially after this fight. The world wouldn't end because the Scarlet Witch grabbed a bite to eat. "Pizza actually sounds really good and...there is nothing major wrong. I am just thinking over a few things. But perhaps we can talk. We shall see."

[weabooweedwitch]

I apologize if this advice is unwanted, but have you tried a different form of therapy?

I have the same issue with therapy. Regular CBT/talk therapy does not help me at all, if anything it makes me worse.

Eventually I got refered to a different type of therapy, DBT, and the differences were astounding. I found that one to be more practical in every day life.

I'm sorry your going though stuff right now, and regardless I do hope things start looking up for you soon. Please remember to take the rest u need because if you don't, your body will take it for you ❤️

To try and put it politely (because every other response I've tried to type up prior to this one got way too personal and long and tmi) I've been in a lot of therapies and several inpatient hospitalizations and different medications and doctors over at least 10 years now and quite frankly at this point im just pretty exhausted by the entire process of trying to get help and I've basically just accepted death is inevitable

There's I guess another avenue I have yet to pursue and it was that I was SUPPOSED TO be assessed for emotional regulation issues, to see if there's just literally a biological component needing specific medication, if im literally just broken up there somewhere and it just takes a specific tweaking, but. That never happened. I never got that call and I stopped seeing my psych and taking my meds anyways. The funny thing is one reason I stopped taking my mwds was to go back to drinking constantly but ive been too depressed to do that too 🙃 but thats a good thing because I don't need alcoholism right now and my weight amd sugar intake is high enough

Im going to be completely honest and say MAYBE I would've had a chance without climate change! But the more and more I think about that the more I realize that even IF I made it to 2050 that basically everything will be going to shit and being apocalyptic levels of bad before I'll have the grace to die of old age, and that's IF I can afford some kind of senior care cause I sure as fuck won't have a family or anything! Every angle I look at it, it's all for nothing! It's all bullshit! How are we going to solve climate change when we never even solved racism and homophobia and let's be real slavery never ended in many parts of the world so

Yeah we're all going to die!!!!! so it's kind of like. I'm just. Bitter at this point. I'm hateful and miserable and my best years are behind me and even after the surgery my body is still needimg other procedures and is fucked up cause I had untreated disability for too many years and I'm just supposed to keep getting up out of bed and going to work for a paycheck that will never be enough so I just spend everything I have and my only solace at this point is that at least when the world ends and we all die that the people who ruined this world and made my life miserable are dying too because we aren't even remotely close to having the technology to live in outer space or live on another planet yet

so. Yeah. It's not exactly unwanted advice and I appreciate the sentiment and intention but I think I am just so absolutely far far far beyond the point of therapy at this point and that's why my mom keeps threatening to admit me to a hospital haha 🤦‍♀️

But all that scary stuff being said i am just. Trying to take it easy the best I can. Thats kinda one reason I've been going a little crazy with the pokemon cards which ill make more posts about, because at this point im just trying to seek out something that makes me happy that isn't uh tha probably unsafe amount of weed I'm consuming every single day without any break whatsoever

[flowercrowngods]

i am so normal about them

Her eyes are watery when she looks at him, and maybe so are Steve’s. They make an odd pair. Eleven in his clothes that only stay in place out of sheer luck and iron will, her face dirty, her hands scraped up.

Steve takes her hands gently and turns them with their palms up. “What happened?” He tries not to sound anxious, there’s a good chance she just slipped on the muddy ground and had to catch her fall, running around and falling like kids do. But she’s no normal kid, and the government was sort of on his ass about it today, ready to take him out to get to her, so…

“I fell,” she says. “Tried to climb a tree.”

Steve nods. “Did anyone follow you today? Like what happened at the diner?”

Eleven frowns at him, confused and wary once again, and Steve doesn’t understand why. He’s just about to explain what he means when she answers, “No.”

“Good,” he says and breathes a sigh of relief. “Then let’s get your wounds cleaned up, yeah? So you won’t hurt anymore.”

Eleven nods and follows him into the bathroom upstairs, the one Steve slept in the other night. He cleans up her wounds, applies some salve and finishes with two giant bandaids that almost cover her palms. Maybe he should have cut them in half, but it’s too late now anyway.

“See?” he says with a gentle smile, coaxing her gaze from her hands up to his eyes. “You’ll be good as new soon.”

She doesn’t return the smile and the air of wariness is still there. It’s starting to make him worry, so he sits down on the tiled floor in front of her and asks, “Hey, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

She shakes her head and looks down at her hands again.

“You can tell me,” Steve says. “I promise I won’t be mad.”

She perks up then and inclines her head. “Promise?”

“Yeah it’s… it’s something you can’t break. When you promise something, you have to do it. It has to be true. You can’t lie about promises.”

El takes it all in and swallows before sitting down as well, facing him. “The diner. How do you know?”

Oh. Oh, right. Right, he isn’t supposed to know. He fucking slipped up.

His heart is racing once more and he doesn’t know how to explain it, how to tell her. Doesn’t even know if he can tell her. If he should.

“Remember how I told you I’m not the bad guy? I promise I’m not. It’s just… I know a few things. What’s going to happen and what has already happened.”

Immediately she reaches for his left arm, inspecting his wrist, and Steve is confused for all of two seconds before it dawns on him.

“Not like that,” he breathes, letting her drop his arm gently back into his lap. “I’m just Steve. I’m trying to save my friends because the bad guy, he won. And for some reason, I get to try again so he won’t win this time. I know about Doctor Brenner and what you can do, but I promise I’m not going to hurt you or… or tell anyone about you. I can’t— I can’t really explain the whole story. Honestly, I don’t even understand what happened myself. All I know is that I have to save them. I have to try.”

El looks at him, taking it all in. But she spent her morphed version of a childhood around children who were experiments for the government. All her life was filled with the inexplicable — except for her, that’s normal. So she doesn’t demand more explanations from Steve, doesn’t even bat an eye at his story that neither of them truly understands.

“Okay,” she breathes instead and takes his hand in hers. “Thanks.”

Steve just nods and tries to fight the wave of dread that’s flooding him. Now that he’s said it out loud, it’s somehow become more real. Now Eleven knows. Now he can’t avoid that version of the truth anymore.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” he breaks the silence. “I just didn’t know how. I didn’t want to scare you.”

“Not scared,” El says. “Promise.”