#i was stressing about it but i've calmed down now
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The Adventure Beyond. - JJ Maybank X Reader
A/N: A mini-series (Sort of) inspired by the Dad!JJ or Family man JJ fics i've been seeing. Also have been using an AI writing assistant to help with some grammar and hopefully to better the flow of my writing. I hope you enjoy. This is for everyone in need of JJ Fluff after season 4.
Summary: An epilogue of JJ's Story. His life is one huge adventure. Told in time-skips and memories.
The Outer Banks was always a place for wild memorable adventuresāsurfing, treasure hunts, and late-night bonfires with your friends. It was home. But this was a different kind of adventure, one that JJ Maybank never expected, yet found himself excited for in ways he couldnāt quite describe. It was the kind of adventure that lasted a lifetime.
You were sitting on the porch of Poguelandia, staring out at the ocean. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore usually calmed you, but today, your thoughts were far from peaceful. Cleo & Kie had gone to brunch together and Cleo and Pope were with John B enjoying an early morning surf. You were alone, except for JJ who had previously been sleeping on the couch. You hand found your head. You had been feeling nauseous for weeks now, but you brushed it off at firstāchalked it up to stress or maybe something you ate. But now, with the test in your hand, the reality was clear.
You were pregnant.
Your heart raced as you thought about the next steps, the future, and how this would change everything. But more than anything, you wondered what JJ would think. He wasnāt exactly the "settling down" type, and you didnāt know how heād react to the news. You had to tell him, but you didnāt know where to start. After uncovering his true parentage, JJ had been acting strangely whenever you mentioned marriage or family. He was insecure about the topic.
The sound of footsteps on the wooden deck behind pulled you out of your thoughts. You looked up just in time to see JJās familiar figure walking toward you, his signature smirk plastered on his face. He was always so carefree, so full of life, but today, there was something different in the way he looked at you.
"Good mornin', Baby-girl." he said softly, his voice full of warmth as he took a seat beside you on the steps. His arm brushed against yours, and you felt a shiver run down your spine.
"Hey," you replied, trying to sound casual, but your nerves were obvious. You felt the test in your pocket like it was a weight you couldnāt escape. You had no idea what he would say or how he'd react.
JJ noticed the change in your tone, the way you seemed distant, and his grin faltered just slightly. He placed his hand over yours, his thumb gently rubbing the back of your hand as he searched your eyes.
"Whatās going on?" he asked, his voice softening. "Youāve been acting weird for a few days."
You took a deep breath, the test still weighing heavily in your pocket. This was it. There was no turning back now. It was now or never.
"JJ," you began, your voice shaky. "I need to tell you something. Something big."
JJ turned his body toward you, his gaze intense as he waited for you to continue. The wind picked up slightly, blowing strands of hair into your face. You pushed them behind your ear and swallowed hard.
"It might change everything." you giggle slightly nervously. "Hey, whoa, i'm right here," JJ reassured you.
"Iāmā¦ Iām pregnant."
The words felt like they were hanging in the air between you two, heavy with uncertainty. For a moment, JJ said nothing. He just stared at you, his expression unreadable.
"Pregnant?" he finally repeated, his voice low, almost like he was testing the word on his tongue.
"Yeah," you said, nodding slowly. "I just found out. I didnāt know how toā"
Before you could finish, JJ pulled you into a tight hug, his arms wrapping around you like a lifeline. You froze for a second, stunned by the sudden closeness, but then you melted into his embrace, feeling the warmth of his body against yours.
"Hey, hey, itās okay," he murmured into your hair. "This isā¦ This is crazy, but weāll figure it out. Weāre in this together."
You looked up at him, surprised by the calmness in his voice. JJ had always been a whirlwind, a guy who lived for the next thrill, but in this moment, he was steady. He was here for you.
"Youāre not mad? Or, Or- upset?" you asked, your voice barely a whisper. You had been worried that heād be overwhelmed, that heād run like he always did when things got serious.
JJ shook his head, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Mad? No. Freaked out? Yeah, a little. But mad? Nah. This is big, but we can do this, Y/N. Weāve always figured things out before, havenāt we?"
Tears welled up in your eyes as you nodded, feeling a weight lift off your chest. JJ may not have been the most conventional guy, but he had a heart bigger than anyone gave him credit for. And he wasnāt going anywhere.
"Weāll be okay," you said, more to yourself than to him.
JJ pulled back just enough to look you in the eye, his face softening. "We will. And hey, Iām not exactly an expert on this whole parenting thing, but Iāll be there. Iāll be there for you and for this little one, no matter what." You stay stiff for a moment, glancing down at your hands and fidgeting for a moment before meeting his eyes again as he continues. "Baby Maybank is going to have the best aunts and uncles in the world, and-" JJ stops himself and his expression sobers up. "I know I want to do better than My dad or Luke ever could."
"JJ-..." Your heart swelled with emotion, and you couldnāt help but smile. "You mean that?"
"Yeah," he said with a confidence you hadnāt expected. "I do."
For the first time in a long while, JJ Maybank was serious. And you realized that even in the face of something that would change everything, you werenāt alone. You had each other. And maybe, just maybe, this would be the greatest adventure yet. It was only the start.
. . . .
It had been roughly 9 months or so since you told JJ about the baby, and while the news had initially thrown him for a loop, it was clear he was more than ready to take on fatherhood. Heād been there for every doctorās appointment, every late-night craving, and every moment when you needed reassurance. And now, as your due date grew closer, you both found yourselves feeling the weight of what was about to happen.
It was a quiet evening when it started. You were sitting on the couch, your feet propped up, and JJ was next to you, watching some random show on TV. The sound of the waves outside was soothing, and for a moment, everything felt like it was in its right place.
Then, you felt it.
A sharp pain radiated through your lower abdomen, making you wince. You tried to ignore it, but then another one came, stronger this time. You winced in pain and groaned.
"Hey, are you okay?" JJ looked over, noticing the shift in your expression. His eyes narrowed as he sat up straighter. "Y/N?"
"Iā" you gasped, clutching the edge of the couch. "I think itās almost time."
JJās eyes went wide with realization. "No way. Youāreā¦ Youāre sure?"
You nodded, trying to keep your breathing steady. "Iām sure. The contractionsā¦ theyāre getting closer."
JJ leaped to his feet, looking around like he didnāt know where to start. "Right. Okay. Iā¦ Iām gonna go get the car! Wait here. Donāt move, okay?"
You grabbed his arm before he could go running off in a panic. "JJ, slow down. Weāve got time. Call the hospital first."
He took a deep breath, clearly trying to calm himself down. "Okay, okay. Iāve got this. I know what to do. You just breathe, alright?" He reassured. He had read that in a parenting book he had gotten, and he was suddenly trying to recall several books worth of information. He wanted to know exactly what to do to be the best dad he could, better than his own.
You smiled, despite the pain. "Iām not the one freaking out, J."
With his usual energetic (and slightly chaotic) demeanor, JJ grabbed his phone, calling the hospital to let them know you were on your way. Then, he hurried back to you, his face full of determination.
"Alright, baby. Weāre going to get you there. Everythingās going to be fine." He kissed the top of your head and grabbed the bag you had packed weeks ago.
The drive to the hospital felt like the longest ride of your life, but JJ stayed calm, keeping up the reassuring chatter, telling you that you were doing great, that this was just the beginning of your new adventure together. The way he held your hand and squeezed it between contractions made you feel grounded, even as everything around you seemed to be moving too fast.
When you finally arrived, the nurses quickly whisked you into a room. JJ stayed right by your side the entire time, despite the chaos of doctors and medical staff running around. He even tried to joke with you between contractions, telling you that you were doing better than he wouldāve expected.
"Iād probably be the one freaking out if I had to do this," he said with a grin. "But you? Youāre amazing, Y/N."
The hours felt like a blur. The pain was intense, but JJ was right there, holding your hand, whispering words of encouragement, and reminding you that you were almost there. You were in such pain that your head threw back, and the last thing you remember of those seconds before was the ringing in your ear, the bright wash of cool white lights from the ceiling, the sweat on your forehead, and release.
And then, when it seemed like you couldnāt take any more, you finally heard it.
A cry. A tiny, beautiful cry.
You blinked through the tears in your eyes, your heart racing as the nurse placed the baby in your arms. JJ leaned in, his eyes wide with awe as he gazed at the tiny bundle being handed to you, the doctors cleaned the baby's eyes and nose.
"Look," he whispered, his voice cracking. "Our kid."
You looked down at the little one in your arms, the feeling of love and joy washing over you in a way you never thought possible. The babyās small fingers curled around yours, and you felt a rush of emotions you couldnāt put into words.
JJās hand rested on your shoulder, his gaze never leaving the baby. "We did it," he whispered, the disbelief in his voice turning to wonder.
"Yeah, we did," you said softly, smiling as you looked up at him. "And I wouldnāt want to do this with anyone else." he whispered.
JJās face softened, his usual carefree attitude replaced with a tenderness youād never seen before. "You and me," he said quietly, as if making a promise. "Weāve got this. Together."
JJ reaches to hold his baby, and once she is in his arms, it becomes real. The baby let out another soft cry, and JJ, in his own awkward yet adorable way, gently rubbed the babyās little back. "Hi Baby girl, It's your daddy..." he coos. "I love you so much already kiddo," he murmured, eyes glistening. "Youāve got the best parents in the world. and uh, No pressure, but you better be ready for the best adventures."
. . . .
A year had passed since you and JJ had welcomed your little one into the world. Life had changed in ways you never couldāve imagined. Parenthood had its challengesā sleepless nights, endless diapers, and adjusting to a new routine. But through it all, you and JJ had grown stronger, learning how to navigate this new chapter of life together.
One night, after the baby had finally fallen asleep in their crib, you and JJ found yourselves sitting on the porch again, just like you had when you first told him you were pregnant. The sky was painted with the colors of the setting sun orangey, peachy, faded into a deep sea color, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore adding a peaceful hum to the evening. The cicads just starting their song and the breeze settling in your hair.
"You know, I've been thinking," JJ said, his voice unusually quiet.
You turned to him, raising an eyebrow. "About what?"
He was staring at the horizon, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Us. Everything weāve been through. The baby, our little family. And how much I love you. I donāt want to just talk about it forever, you know?"
You smiled, a warmth spreading through you. You had no idea where he was going with this, but you could feel your heart racing anyway.
"I love you too, JJ," you said, your voice soft. "Iāve never been more sure of anything in my life."
JJ took a deep breath, his usual cocky smirk fading into something much more serious. He turned to you, his eyes filled with that intensity you loved. "Then I want to make it official. I want you to be mine, always. I want to be your husband."
You blinked, your breath catching in your throat. Did he just say what you thought he said?
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, opening it to reveal a simple, yet stunning ring. "Y/N, will you marry me?"
Your heart skipped a beat, and you felt a rush of emotions flood over you. JJ Maybank, the carefree, wild guy who never seemed to settle down, was asking you to marry him. There had been so many moments in the past when you doubted if he could ever truly commit to something like this. But here he was, asking you to be his forever.
You examined the ring, it was in a shiny velvet dark red box that was worn. The initials in a faded gold cursive 'LG'. It was something of his mothers'.
Tears welled up in your eyes as you reached out for the ring, holding it in your hand. "Yes. Of course, yes," you whispered, your voice trembling with happiness.
JJ grinned, looking both relieved and ecstatic at the same time. He slid the ring onto your finger, and for a moment, it felt like time stood still. You leaned in, kissing him gently as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close.
"I promise, Iām going to love you every single day," he murmured against your lips.
. . . .
The weeks leading up to the wedding were a whirlwind of excitement. You and JJ had agreed on something small and intimateājust the two of you, the baby, and a few close friends. The thought of having a big, extravagant wedding didnāt feel right; it was about the two of you, your family, and this new life you were building together.
When the day finally arrived, you stood on the beach where you and JJ had shared so many of your first moments, the waves crashing gently behind you. Your heart pounded in your chest as you gazed out at the horizon, feeling the same nervous excitement you had felt when you were first pregnant, unsure of what the future held but knowing you were ready to face it together.
JJ stood at the end of the makeshift aisle, dressed in a simple yet handsome suit. His eyes never left you as you walked toward him, a grin spreading across his face. The moment you reached him, he took your hands in his, the same hands that had held yours through every high and low.
"You look perfect," he said, his voice full of awe.
"You clean up pretty well yourself," you teased, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill.
The officiant, a close friend of yours both, non other than John Booker Routledge, smiled at the two of you. "Weāre gathered here today to celebrate the love and commitment between these two peopleā¦"
But you hardly heard the rest of the ceremony. All that mattered in that moment was JJāthe way his hand gently squeezed yours, the way his eyes softened when he looked at you. The sea breeze, the smell of marsh and the glow of the sunset. You could feel the promise in the air, the certainty that this was where you were always meant to be.
When the officiant pronounced you both husband and wife, JJ didnāt hesitate. He pulled you into his arms, kissing you deeply, his heart and soul laid bare in that simple moment. The world around you faded away as you held each other, knowing that no matter what life threw at you, you were ready to face it together.
As you walked back down the aisle, hand in hand with your new husband, you couldnāt help but feel the overwhelming joy.
. . . .
It was a perfect summer day in the Outer Banks. The sun was high in the sky, casting its golden glow over the beach, and the ocean was calm, its waves gently lapping at the shore. You and JJ had taken your little one out for the day, and while you were content to lounge on the sand and soak up the sun, JJ had something else on his mind.
"Daddy!" Your daughterās voice rang out, high-pitched with excitement as she splashed around near the waterās edge. "I want to go further! I want to swim like you!"
JJ grinned from ear to ear, watching his daughter run toward him with her tiny swimsuit bouncing as she ran. "You sure you're ready?" he asked, crouching down to her level.
"Yeah!" she exclaimed, her face full of determination and a little mischief, just like her father. "I want to be like you, Daddy! I want to swim in the big waves!"
JJ chuckled, running a hand through his tousled hair. "Alright, cupcake," he said with a wink. "Letās start with the basics. You trust me?"
She nodded, her blue eyes wide with trust, mirroring his. It was clear that she adored her dad, and JJ, always the carefree and energetic guy, was more than happy to pass on his love of the water to his daughter.
"Okay, hereās the plan," JJ said, scooping her up and carrying her toward the water. "Weāre gonna take it slow. First, weāll just get your feet wet, then weāll move on from there. Donāt worry, Iāve got you."
You smiled as you watched the two of them interact. You knew how much JJ had grown since becoming a father. The wild, unpredictable guy who once couldnāt sit still for more than a few minutes was now patiently teaching his daughter something as important as swimming, all while making her laugh, and cracking jokes to entertain both of you.
As JJ waded into the shallow water, holding his daughter carefully, he turned to her and said, "Okay, listen. The first thing you need to remember is to keep your head above the water. No matter what, keep your eyes on me, alright? Iāll be right here."
She nodded eagerly, gripping onto his neck as he gently waded deeper into the ocean, letting the water rise up to their waists. She giggled as the cool waves splashed over her legs. She was scared, but like her father she wouldn't admit it. That Maybank firceness.
"This is fun," she squealed, her voice high with excitement.
JJ smiled at her, his usual confident smirk turning softer. "Iām glad you think so. Now, ready for the next step?"
You could see his nerves underneath the surface, but he was determined to make this moment count. You knew he was a natural when it came to making people feel safeāespecially his daughterāand you could see the bond between them growing with every moment.
"Okay, weāre gonna practice kicking," JJ explained. "You want to kick your legs like this," he demonstrated, giving her legs a gentle nudge to show her the motion. "Big, strong kicks, just like a dolphin."
His daughter laughed and kicked her legs, splashing water everywhere as she mimicked him. "Like this, Daddy?" she asked excitedly.
"Exactly like that!" JJ exclaimed. "Youāre a natural, kiddo."
You watched as he continued to guide her through the motions, his voice calm and reassuring. "Good job. Now, letās try floating on your back, alright?" he said, holding her securely in the water. "Youāve got to trust the water, trust that itās going to hold you up."
She hesitated for a second, her tiny hands gripping his shoulders tightly. "But what if I fall, Daddy?" she asked, her voice small but brave.
JJ's face softened with understanding. He looked her in the eye, his hand gently smoothing back her wet hair. "You wonāt fall. Iāve got you. I wonāt let you go. Youāre safe with me, okay?"
She looked up at him, her trust unwavering. "Okay, Daddy."
And just like that, she let go of her fears, leaning back into the water with JJās arms supporting her, guiding her to float. You could see the relief in her face as she finally relaxed, her tiny body gently bobbing in the water.
"There you go," JJ said, his voice full of pride. "Youāre swimming, just like I knew you could. That's my girl."
. . . .
It was a warm Saturday afternoon when JJ came home from work, pushing through the front door. The moment he stepped inside, he noticed the scent of freshly baked cookies drifting through the house. But that wasnāt what caught his attention. No, it was the sound of his daughterās giggles from upstairsāher voice light, teasing, and clearly way too excited about something.
He had taken a job that paid the bills, kept his family safe and fed. taken care of, even if he didn't really like it. an office job was boring, but he got to give his expertise on treasure hunting, and he worked with a lot of fun young archaeologists.
"Hey, kiddo, whatās going on?" JJ called out as he kicked off his shoes and made his way to the staircase.
Your daughter appeared at the top of the stairs, looking unusually... polished. Her hair was done in cute little braids, and she was wearing a floral dress you mustāve helped her pick out. JJās eyes narrowed as he gazed up at her.
"Dad!" she grinned down at him, clearly excited. "Iām going on my first date!"
JJ froze. He blinked, taking a moment for his brain to process what she just said. "Wait, what?" His voice was barely above a whisper, but the edge of disbelief was undeniable.
"Yep!" She bounced down the stairs, twirling around in her dress as if she were some grown-up at a fancy dinner. "His nameās Tyler. Heās from my history class, and heās super nice."
JJās eyes widened, and he crossed his arms. "Hold up. Tyler? Youāre going out with a guy named Tyler?" He shot a look at you, who was standing in the kitchen, trying (and failing) to hide a smile at JJās growing concern.
You stifled a laugh, seeing the protective father in action. "JJ, sheās just going on a date. Let her have fun."
JJ didnāt seem to hear you. Instead, his gaze stayed locked on his daughter. "How old is this Tyler?"
"Heās 17, Dad. Just a year older than me!" She said the last part like it was supposed to reassure him. But to JJ, that was exactly the problem. He had been that age once too. he could remember when he was all over you.
"Seventeen?" JJ muttered, his tone a mix of disbelief and concern. He wasnāt angry, but he was definitely... apprehensive. "I donāt care if heās 25, youāre my little girl, Cupcake, and Iā" He paused, trying to find the right words. "Are you sure about this?"
His daughter rolled her eyes, but there was a fondness behind her teasing. "Dad, Iām fine! Heās a good guy. You can trust me."
JJ stood up straight, his protective instincts kicking into overdrive. "Trust you? Of course, I trust you. But him?" He rubbed a hand through his hair, pacing for a second. "Youāre my baby girl. What if he does something... something dumb?"
You couldnāt help but chuckle at the sight of JJāusually so calm and laid-back, now pacing like a lion in a cage. "JJ, sheās 16, not 5. She knows what sheās doing."
Your daughter crossed her arms, giving her dad a look that could only be described as an eye-roll combined with affection. "Itās not like Iām going to be out past midnight." she was just as sassy as he was.
You smiled softly, walking over to JJ and placing a hand on his arm to stop his pacing. "Sheās going to be fine, love. Itās just a date, not a life-altering event. And youāve raised her wellāshe knows what to look out for."
But JJ wasnāt entirely convinced. He turned to his daughter, his expression softening, though there was still a protective edge to his voice. "I want you to be safe. Text me when you get there, and when you leave, alright? And no funny businessāno getting into cars with anyone, especially some dude named Tyler. Got it?"
His daughter snorted, clearly amused by his protectiveness, but she nodded. "Fine, fine, Dad. Iāll text you constantly so you can feel better."
"And no sneaking away or doing something crazy. You aren't some grown-up," JJ continued, his tone light, but there was no mistaking the worry behind his words.
"Got it," she said, shaking her head with a smile that screamed, āI love you, but youāre impossible.ā JJ exhaled sharply, running his hand through his hair again. "And if you need me to come pick you up, for any reason, you call me. No questions asked."
"Dad, Iāll be fine," she reassured him again, now with an extra layer of affection in her voice. "Tylerās cool, I swear." JJās face softened, his voice quieter. "I just... I just want to make sure youāre safe. Thatās all. Youāre my girl, and I love you more than anything."
You could see the softness in JJās expression, the deep affection for his daughter that made his words sound so heartfelt.
"Love you too, Dad," she said, hugging him tightly. "And Iām gonna be okay. Promise."
JJ hesitated for a second before hugging her back, lifting her up for a moment like she was still his little baby, even though she wasnāt. "Alright, alright. But if anything feels wrong, you come straight home, understood?"
"Understood," she replied with a smirk. "Can I go now?"
"One last thing." He ushers her to step forward, she shares his golden curls and has a few pieces astray that JJ pushes behind her ear in a loving way. "I just wanted to say that you look beautiful hun." JJ let her go, still looking a little too serious for your liking, but clearly trusting her judgment, even if he didnāt quite trust Tyler.
"Okay, but one last-last, thing," JJ added, running his hand through his hair again. "If he makes you uncomfortable at all, or if heās not respectfulā"
"Dad!" Your daughter groaned, cutting him off with a laugh. You chuckled as you watched JJ try to hold it together, clearly still struggling with the idea of his little girl dating. "Have fun, sweetie," you said, trying to ease the tension. "Youāre going to be fine. Just be careful and enjoy yourself."
JJ watched her leave, his arms still crossed, eyes scanning the door long after she was gone. You could see the wheels turning in his head, but you knew it would take him a little while to relax completely.
As soon as the door closed behind her, JJ sighed deeply and flopped down onto the couch, running a hand over his face. "I swear, Iām going to need a drink after this."
You sat down beside him, wrapping your arm around his shoulder. "Sheās growing up, JJ. But sheās strong, and sheās smart. Sheās going to be okay."
JJ let out a long breath, resting his head back. "Yeah, I know. Just... give me a minute to breathe, okay?"
You laughed softly, kissing his cheek. "Of course. Iāll be right here. Donāt worry."
. . . .
It was a Saturday evening when JJās phone buzzed on the kitchen counter. He was at home with you, the two of you enjoying a rare quiet moment after a busy week. Your daughter had gone out earlier in the day, saying she was meeting some friends at the park for a āsocial event.ā Sheād been passionate about certain causes recently, always talking about how she wanted to make a difference. You and JJ had talked about it, of courseāyour daughter was growing into a young woman with strong ideals. Still, the way she talked about it all made you both a little nervous, especially when you didnāt always know exactly what she was getting into.
She was just as mischieveious as her father was at that age, but less reckless. The Protesting was something she had been talking to her Aunt Kie Kie about recently. she was passionate, firey and full of life.
JJ was just pouring a glass of orange juice when the ringing sound cut through the silence again, followed by the unmistakable sound of an incoming call. He glanced at the screen, his brows furrowing when he saw the caller ID.
"It's the police," JJ muttered, a sinking feeling in his stomach. "Y/N, ...something's wrong." You stood up immediately, your heart leaping into your throat as JJ answered the call, his voice tense. His free hand ran through his hair, clearly trying to maintain his cool. "Whatās going on?" You held your breath as JJās face changed from concerned to something darker, more protective, as he listened to the person on the other end. Finally, after a long pause, he hung up, his face pale.
"JJ?" you asked, worry flooding your voice. He turned to you, his eyes wide. "Itās our daughter... Sheās been arrested." Your heart dropped. "What? What happened?"
"Theyāshe was protesting at a rally downtown," JJ explained, his voice shaking with barely contained anger. "It turned into a bigger protest, and things got out of hand. They arrested her forā" He stopped, shaking his head. "For disorderly conduct. Y/N, sheās in jail." Your daughter? Arrested? A thousand thoughts raced through your head. Your daughter, your sweet girl, had always been so passionate about causes she cared about, but you never imagined sheād get caught up in something like this. Your protective instincts kicked in, just as JJās had, but the question was: How did we get here?
Without another word, JJ grabbed his jacket and car keys. "Letās go. We need to get her out of there." You nodded quickly, grabbing your purse and following him out the door. As you drove toward the police station, neither of you spoke much. There was nothing you could say to calm the growing sense of dread.
When you arrived, JJ wasted no time. He stormed inside with you following closely behind, his steps heavy with determination. The receptionist at the desk looked up with a weary expression as JJ slammed his palms onto the counter. "Iām here to get my daughter out. Sheās been arrested. What do I need to do?" JJ demanded, his voice low but full of authority. The receptionist blinked but quickly typed something into the computer.
"Name?" she asked, clearly used to dealing with situations like this. "Maybank," JJ said, his voice not softening in the slightest.
After a brief exchange, the receptionist handed over some paperwork for JJ to fill out. The moment he finished, you both sat in a cramped waiting area, the silence between you only interrupted by the occasional footsteps echoing down the hall. JJ was vibrating with tension, his fingers tapping impatiently on his knee, his jaw clenched as he stared at the door leading to the holding cells.
"Sheās gonna be okay, alright?" You asked quietly, even though you werenāt sure you believed the words yourself. JJ let out a breath, trying to calm himself. "I donāt know. I justā¦ I never thought sheād be in a situation like this." He shook his head, frustration and fear clear in his eyes. "She was always so careful. Always so smart."
You could see his mind running through a dozen worst-case scenarios. He was terrified, and it broke your heart. You knew how fiercely protective he was of their daughter, how much he loved her.
"Sheās strong, JJ," you said gently. "Sheās been through tough things before. Sheās a fighter. and she's just like you in that regard. Sheāll be okay." Just as the words left your mouth, the door to the holding area opened, and a police officer appeared, followed by your daughter.
When JJās eyes locked on her, his breath hitched, and he shot up from his seat, rushing toward her. "Sweetheart," he said, his voice breaking, as he reached out to hold her. She looked tired, but she was alive and, more importantly, unharmed.
"Dad, Iām okay," she said softly, her eyes brimming with tears. "I didnāt mean for things to escalate like that. I justā"
JJ pulled her into a tight hug, his voice rough. "I donāt care what happened, baby girl. Iām just glad youāre okay. Donāt ever scare me like that again." You joined them, wrapping your arms around both of them. You could feel your daughterās shoulders trembling, and you squeezed her tighter, knowing that she probably needed reassurance as much as JJ did.
"I'm so sorry, Mom, Dad," she whispered, her voice full of guilt. "I didnāt think it would go this far. It was supposed to be peaceful. I swear, I didnāt mean to get arrested."
JJ pulled back, his hands still on her shoulders as he looked at her. "I know you didnāt mean for this to happen, but youāve got to be careful. Youāre my little girl, and I donāt want you getting involved in something dangerous. You couldāve gotten hurt."
Your daughter nodded, tears slipping down her face. "I just wanted to make a difference. I thought this was the right thing to do. Butā¦ I donāt know anymore." You wiped away a tear from her cheek, your heart aching for her. "You are making a difference. But we need to make sure youāre safe while you do it, alright?"
JJ nodded, his voice much softer now, but still full of that protective fatherly instinct. "Weāll figure this out together, okay? But for now, weāre getting out of here. And next timeā" He shook his head, unable to continue. He pulled her into another tight hug. "Next time, you text us first. No more surprises, okay?"
She nodded, her arms squeezing him tightly. "I promise, Dad." As you all walked out of the police station, JJās arm wrapped protectively around his daughterās shoulders, the weight of the world still lingering on his shoulders. He hadnāt expected this moment to come so soon, but you knew that no matter what, he would always protect his daughterājust as fiercely as he loved her. Even if she reminded him of himself.
. . . .
You both sat on the porch once again, this time many many years in the future, graying and old. The cicadas still singing the same, the waves still lapping in the same old rhythm. The mosquitos out in full swing and the breeze tangling your silver hair. The moonlight is brisk.
You turn to the love of your life, the man who has been your everything since you were young once. You cut through the comfortable and loving silence finally. "JJ," you whisper. "Yes love?" His voice is now deeper, aged. It's raspy. "As our adventure comes to an end," you say. "I just want you to know that I love you." you say softly.
"I love you too." JJ says, "I wouldn't have wanted to have this life with anyone else. You are my everything." He smiles. You look out into the yard and remember all the highlights, highs lows and all, every moment up until now.
You gently rest your grayed head on his shoulder, the same as you did when you were young, and close your eyes.
#reader insert#my writing#x reader#jj obx imagine#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank#jj outer banks#jj x reader#jj maybank alive#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank x you#obx#outerbanks#outer banks fanfiction#jj mayback imagine#jj mayback x reader
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for a good cause | Rollo x reader
summary : While having fun at the festival with your friends, you're oblivious to your own guilt and grudge. Luckily, he's here to show you the truth.
warnings : reader is Yuu and she's implied to be a girl ; swearing
a / n : HAD LOTS OF FUN WITH THIS ONE Y'ALL WO!!! Yuu betraying the NRC my beloved. Also I was definitely NOT writing this AND watching the event at the same time and that's definitely NOT why is it so short haha...
A TOAST TO @pomefioredove FOR INSPIRING ME!! Hope you like it <3 š«¶š»š©·
P.S : maybe some grammatical mistakes or weird wording, sorry, English ain't my first language :')
The horrors, the stress, the neglect about every single thing involving your mentality and your body... all of these curses that came upon you when you first set foot in the halls of Night Raven Collage could never be cured, could they? That's what you thought before you met him. He said he can save you...
Can he? Please, you have to let him save you...
The beautiful scenery in the main hall of Nobel Bell Collage never failed to catch your eye. The way the light of the sun illuminated the beautiful stained windows could never not be pretty. Compared to the dark halls of NRC, this school was twice as pretty, that's what you thought since coming here, but you'd never dare tell anyone, you didn't need another reason for people to look down on you as they always do.
āSomething must've caught your eye for you to stop in your tracks like that, no?ā The voice coming from behind you was as calm and neutral as ever. You caught with the corner of your eye the figure stopping right next to you, looking where your eyes did just a moment ago. āWell, you're never wrong are you?ā You let out a silent laugh, at which the figure moved his eyes in you. āThe glass...is beautiful. It never fails to amaze me. You don't see this at Night Ravenā Your eyes went up to look at the glass again, the one next to you looking in the same place you were. āHm, your comments make me think that Night Raven Collage isn't that amazing of a school that everyone would die to go inā You snorted at his snarky remark right before covering your mouth. You'd think he hates everyone from that school, but again, maybe he is, at how is looking at them, who can say he doesn't? āDidn't take you for the humorous type, Rolloā
Ah there it is again. Ever since you came here, Rollo can't seem to get tired of the way his name rolls off your tongue. He's heard about you, the magicless prefect who's came from another world. And goodness, you're... perfect. Everything about you, is absolutely perfect. Your face, your voice, your silhouette, everything about you... and on top of all you're so... pure. So pure, he can sense it, the essence of it right in your soul, he wishes to keep it to himself forever, he'd never let anyone touch something so pure and beautiful. Stain it with their dirty magic.
He looked at you again, your form snickering oh so close to his body. āWas it really that funny? I was simply saying what is on my mind...ā Your laughing came to a stop, now having your attention fully on him. āI know, it's just the way you said it is all. It was funny. And I mean, you are kind of right. Sure Night Raven is a big school, no denying that. But! I guess you could say the inside is a bit... boringā At your words Rollo let out a laugh himself. āHmph! Boring? I've known you for a day and I'm sure you can find a better word than boringā āMeh, I don't wanna be mean is allā Your kindness was also something Rollo adored about you. He can see who you are under all that fake kindness you put on for your little friends at NRC. Right under all of that, the essence of your soul is naked under his praying eyes. He knows you're tired, tired of that school. Maybe he can use that for himself.
The songs and happy voices of the many people surrounding you were loud but not entirely unwelcome. After each group that was made earlier today finished their stroll through the busy streets, it was now time for everyone to gather in one place for the big show. You were currently sitting next to Rollo, watching from far away the boys who were having fun creating fireworks for the townfolk.
You couldn't help but scowl at the sight. It was so irritating, but why exactly...? āAre you alright?ā Rollo's voice snapped you out of your thoughts. āJudging by that scowl on your face, I'd say you're ready to rip everyone's heads offā You looked at him, he was looking at you from the corner of his eye, and just for a second, you caught a glint of amusement in them. He was joking. How is it that he only does it when he's with you? You've been observing his actions ever since you came here and he seems to be a totally different person when he's with you. The handkerchief that always seems to be present when he speaks with other people, he never has it when he's with you.
Isn't it weird?
You gave him a reassuring smile. āI'm ok. I just...well...ā The silver haired boy turns his head to fully look at you, waiting for an answer āI just... don't like the loud music, at all. It always gives me the biggest headacheā Rollo let out an almost silent hm, and looked in front of him again. A minute passed before he spoke again.
āWho are you trying to lie to? Me or yourself?ā
...what?
The weight of his glace almost crushes you. You could feel his sharp emerald eyes looking at you, no... looking through you, you knew damn well that right now the one called Rollo Flamme was looking straight into your soul, ready to burn it to ashes at any moment.
You turned your head away from him, unable to return the gaze. āI... don't know what you're talking about, Rollo. I'm not lying to myself at all. I told you the truthā He didn't stop looking through you. āIs that so? Because when your eyes are directed exactly to your little friends over there, it's hard to think that it's just the music that's bothering youā You were at a loss of words.
He was right wasn't he?
He knew
Of course he did
After all why bother hide it anymore?
You hated their guts...
You HATED that school
You hate THEM
YOU HATE IT
YOU HATE THIS DAMNED WORLD.
This time, you looked him straight in the eyes. And he knew, Rollo finally realized he got it. He was almost shocked at how easy it was to crack your fake facade. You were like him weren't you? You hated magic just like he hated it. You loathed the evil-doers of this world, the magic users. He knew he was right, he knew he was right to fall in love with you.
He couldn't help but smirk when he saw your eyes. So much hatred. My, how he loved that look of yours. āAnd what do you plan on doing now?ā Your voice took a much more serious tone than earlier. He simply let out a laugh. āMe? Why nothing at all. All I need you to do ā Rollo fully turned his body to you, slowly leaning to look into your eyes ā is to listen to what I have to sayā
The music of the festival could be heard even from the depths of the wall of the waterway tunnels. Rollo was guiding you, with a lantern in his hand, through what seemed like an endless darkness. And after what seemed like an eternity, you were the first one who spoke. āSo what exactly do you plan on doing? You haven't explained anything to me at all Rolloā He kept walking, not saying a word. More minutes passed and you were getting more and more annoyed, when was he going to- āWhy is it that you hate your friends so much? When I first saw you I could hardly tell you hated their gutsā You fell silent at his question, why is it that you hate them? After all ever since you came here- ...oh, that's right. You know don't you? āYou want the truth? I'll tell you. I simply hate their guts. Ever since I came here I have been nothing but an obedient little dog to them. Cleaning all the mess they did after every overblot I was the one to clean the mess. Trouble? That idiot Crowley has me going to solve it. Students fighting? Of course, I'm the one to blame. I'm fucking tired, I'm so damn tired of all of them. No one, not a single one at that school has ever cared to check on me, because who cares?!? I'm a magicless student aren't I? I don't have feelings or anything right? I'm just a damn MAGICLESS HUMAN WHO LISTEN LIKE A FUCKING DOG!ā
Rollo didn't flinch at the sudden punch you landed on the wall next to you. You stopped walking a while ago, fully turned to you, Rollo watched your actions carefully, seeming to enjoy how you slowly became a victim to your own hatred, sinking deeper and deeper into the dark hole you made for yourself ever since stepping into this world. Stepping closer to you, Rollo raised your chin to look him in the eyes, the light of the lamp allowing you to see his beautiful yet empty emerald eyes. āSee now? That's exactly why I guided you here. Your hatred for them is exactly what I need. So beautiful and so dangerous it isā Moving closer, he grabbed your waist and pulled you closer to him, burying his face in your hair. āWhat are you?-ā āSo pure and so beautiful you areā You widened your eyes, your face growing warmer at his somewhat bold statement. He let go of you, grabbing your face once again, this time his being closer than it was before, the lamp illuminating half of his face as you saw the look in his eyes.
Predatory admiration. You could see it in the way he looked at you. Eyes burning with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. Raw hunger that felt almost otherworldly.
āTell me now, Y/N. I can save you, get rid of all those dark thoughts from your head, give you a better life. I can protect you. All you need to do, is give me your word. Let me be your sanctuaryā Your breathing became heavy...can he? Can he truly save you? You'd wished to escape this for so long, you're so tired. You'd let him-
āPlease, Rollo... ā you grabbed onto his clothes, afraid that if you'd let go he'd abandon you just like the others ā I'll- I'll let you. Please, be my sanctuaryā Rollo's eyes flickered with raw desire. āVery well thenā
The lamp in Rollo's hands dropped on the floor as his hand held your chin so you could look in his eyes. His other hand entangled into your hair, finally pulling you for a long awaited kiss. The moment his lips touched yours, every ounce of self control disappeared. He'd been waiting for this longer than he dared to admit. If only you knew what you were doing to him. You eagerly returned the kiss, your hands diving into his hair, careful to not let his hat slip off his head, lips moving in perfect harmony as you've done this hundreds of times before. And when you parted for the first time, your panting echoed through the dark halls.
You looked at him with red cheeks, and before you could stop it you let the words āI love youā spill from your mouth. You knew your confession came out in a trembling voice, even if you didn't know why. Rollo looked at you and once again he kissed you, this time harder and urgent. He knew you knew he was telling you the same, that what he can't put into words he'll put into this kiss.
A long while passed until you two parted. Damned oxigen, you thought. The silver haired in front of you brought you closer to his face so that your foreheads touched. āHow can you be magicless when I can swear that you bewitched me somehow. I'm not myself when I'm with you, did you know that? The things you do to me...ā You giggled at his remark, kissing him once more which he happily returned. āYeah? Well, I'm glad it's me. I'm glad you chose me Rolloā He smiled softly at you, placing a kiss on your forehead.
Picking up the lamp from the floor, he took your hand and guided you now towards the light that shot up at the end of the tunnel. āCome now my dear, I'm sure you'll like what you're going to seeā
The many candles in the Nobel Bell Collage hall illuminated brightly. The students who came for the symposium were all gathered in the hall, waiting for whatever was to come. Suddenly, the loud sound of the bell echoed through the whole school. āThe Bell of Salvation? At this time of the night?ā Silver looked around him surprised by the tolls of the bell. āIf I recall, we were told that the bell tolled there times a day no? Once in the morning, then evening and night. And I'm pretty sure we heard the toll for the night some hours ago. So what could the reason for this one be? Riddle's face twisted in confusion, his brows furrowing trying to figure out what's going on. āU-uhm, am I the only one who's seeing t-that?ā Upon hearing Idia's voice, everyone looked in his direction.āWhat's that? A flower??ā In front of them, growing from the ground, there was a beautiful crimson flower, one that had its petals beautifully colored just like wild flames. āWhat's a flower doing in the middle of the-ā *crack* Another one made its way through the floor, cracking the tiles in the process. And then another, followed by thousands slowly covering the whole hall. āWHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?ā Sebek's voice echoed through the hall now full of crimson flowers. āEvreyone! They-they passed out!ā In the blink of an eye, every single student who got close to the flowers had passed out cold and they couldn't be woken up.
Fire Lotuses. Dangerous yet beautiful flowers that supposedly went extinct centuries ago. These flowers grew by feeding themselves with magic, sucking it out of people leaving them with no ounce of magic to live with. The methods of extinction were not revealed, therefore there was no way to stop them.
āStanding in this hall while everyone else is passed at your feet is quite pitiful. Don't you think?ā
Fighting and fighting, the students tried but there was no end to those flowers, if they can't use magic then they can't do anything. āY/N! Make sure you stay beh-...what?ā Deuce had called for you, but he now realized...you were nowhere to be found. āY/N?!? NO! SHIT! WHERE ARE YOU?!ā Hearing his calls, the others looked around them, you were nowhere in sight. āGRIM! Did you not see where she went?!?ā Sebek picked up the panicked cat, who had thought you came back with him, your quietness being a normal thing at school so he didn't bother checking if you were truly there, blaming himself for your disappearance. āI-I don't know! I thought she was behind me I swear!ā On the verge of crying he started shaking in Sebek's arms, the boy putting him down taking pity on him. āWE NEED TO FIND THE PREFECT NOW! AND SEE TO WHAT CAUSED THESE FLOWERS TO APPEAR!ā Next to the loud green haired boy, Malleus was looking up the stairs in the hall. āHm, perhaps, we should ask himā Sniffling, Grim looked in the direction of Malleus' eyes. āHim? Him who?ā And just after, steps could be heard on top of the stairs, indicating who was watching from afar.
And there he was. The students looked at the stop for the stairs that now revealed Rollo's steady figure stepping out of the shadows. āYOU HUMAN! DID YOU DO THIS?ā Sebek's voice boomed once again in the halls, at which Rollo merely laughed. āWhy? Well it's quite simple. I did so I can rid this world from this magic of courseā āRiding the world of magic? THAT'S ABSURD!! You damn wicked villain!ā āSHUT IT! ā the first time Rollo's voice was raised, the halls trembled at the sound ā ME?! I'M THE WICKED VILLAIN?? What about you? You mages tricking the world with your stupid little magic tricks?! You mean nothing but trouble! But I!- I will rid this world of your kind, making it a better place!ā He laughed as he talked, the looks of the ones amongst the flowers now flaming with anger. āYou're a coward! Come the fuck down and face us if you're so determined of getting rid of us!ā āNo time for that Deuce! ā Riddle grabbed the first year's shoulder ā we need to find a way to get rid of these flowers before their thorns find a way into the soilā Another laugh from Rollo could be heard. āToo late for that! Just as we're speaking, the whole city is getting covered in flowers, and soon enough the whole island! You've got nothing left to do!ā The flowers slowly started getting closer to them, leaving them helpless, just then, Deuce had realized what was missing from Rollo's speech. āYou- WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO Y/N?!ā Rollo's calm and collected eyes met Deuce's angry ones, smiling at his expression he let out a silent laugh. āHah! Ask her that yourself won't you?ā
Step step step
One by one, the expression of the students went from anger to shock. You. It was you who was now next to Rollo standing straight and looking down on them from the stairs, the same flowers that were now surrounding them, was present in your hair. āY-... Prefect...?ā Deuce couldn't believe it, what were you doing, what-what are you doing with him? āPrefect?! What do you think you're doing?!ā Sebek's voice boomed once again. āYou're with the enemy you filthy traitor?!ā Looking right back into Deuce's eyes seeing his despair, that didn't sit right with you, Deuce has never done anything wrong, but again, did he really care...?
āI truly am so sorry Deuce. You did nothing wrong, really. But I'm so tired you know?ā āW-what is that even supposed to mean Y/N? Is it me? Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry if I did I'm sorry! But why would you do such a thing?ā āBecause I can't take it anymore. I'm done, Deuce. I've been treated like a damn dog every second I stayed at that school. No one, not a single person has ever thought of checking up on me, seeing if I'm ok, not even you did. I needed to be saved, Deuce, and Rollo, Rollo told me he'd save me. And he did! I feel so much better now that he didā Empty eyes were staring into scared blue ones. Deuce understood, in a way. And the fact that he hadn't even thought about checking on you earlier... maybe if he did none of this would've happened. āGrim. I really am sorry. This time I can't accompany you anymore. Seems like you'll have to become a great mage without meā Shaking next to Deuce's legs, was a crying Grim. āHench-human...ā
This time, the looks you gave to the ones left was boiling through them. āYou all deserve this. You all are some egoistic monsters you know that?ā Malleus' steeped forward trying to reason. āChild of man this is not the-ā āQUIET! You don't get to talk Malleus. You're just like them after all, you've always been haven't you?ā Rollo was enjoying this too much. The expressions those idiots Night Raven Collage students had on their faces was priceless. But as much as he'd love to stay more, you both had work to do. āNow now Y/N. I'm afraid we have to go. We have work to do, rememberā He put a reassuring hand on your shoulder, which you responded by putting one of yours in his. āEnjoy your last momentsā
And with that, the floor around them was gone, leaving them to fall in complete darkness.
#THE KISS SCENE SUCKED I'M SORRY#also sorry if the ending kinda sucked i tried my best really#the ending is rusty tho#I don't really know if I'll make a part two but maybe#school's a bummer man#twsited wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#rollo flamme#twst rollo#glorious masquerade#rollo x reader#rollo flamme x reader
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141 What If....
You ask him to leave the uniform on? š„µš„µš„µš„µ
I am feral over this. FERAL. Literally chewing on my own arm because I need to calm down. Your prompts always get me going. I totally blame you for this. Now, I went with a little variety here. We've got Kyle in formal military dress, John coming home from deployment, Johnny returning on break for a quickie, and Simon playing out a pre discussed fantasy. Enjoy!!!
For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE
Task Force 141 x Female Reader
Content & Warnings: established relationship, CNC, breeding, restraints, welcome home sex, quickies, formal events, semi-public sex, unprotected piv (wrap it up irl), sex in a car, dirty talk, brief knifeplay, light degradation
Word Count: 3.3k
ao3 // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist
John Price
Johnās return is delayed.
He was supposed to come home to you a month ago. But it wasnāt him that notified you about his postponed reunion. Someone from SAS contacted you via the post. The envelope held a singular piece of paper. No apology. Just black ink on a white sheet with an official letterhead. John has always been good about making sure you know when heāll return. It's something you constantly worry about.
While on a mission, you won't hear from himāthis you know. But whenever he is able, John makes an effort to let you know when to expect him or if he's okay.
To not hear from him is odd, and it stirs up all sorts of emotions, pushing your brain toward any number of possibilities. Each scenario appears briefly before sliding into another. They worsenāand then youāre sick, stomach twisted into a tight knot.
That piece of paper is on the kitchen counter. Untouchedābut not forgotten. It said yesterday. And yesterday, John did not return.
Youāre chewing on your fingernails. Pacing. Stressing.
It's the familiar squeak of the doorknob from the front door that finally stalls your racing thoughts. All that mental energy becomes physical. You're sprinting, throwing yourself at John the moment he enters.
He chucklesāthe sound is pleasant and soothing to your heart.
āDidnāt think youād be home,ā he says, drawing you close.
Your answer is to wrap your arms around the back of his neck, and seize a kiss from him that says so much. You need John to know how much youāve missed himāhow worried youāve been.
His hands on your hips tighten, squeezing slightly as he melts under your kisses. Each one is desperate. Needy. You savor him like youāll never know this again. John's grip on you is firm, and much stronger than you can resist. He draws you away from himānot enough to create a separationābut enough to talk.
āSlow down, love. Let me look at you.ā His hands move to your face, cradling your cheeks. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you, too," you reply. You pull him close again. "Need you." Just a murmur, hardly audible, but John hears it.
He does not resist. He gives in, accepting your love, answering every kiss and touch with one of his own. Hands roam, fingers cling, and yet you're not nearly close enough. You need him on his back with you atop him.
John breaks away, breathing heavy, lips slightly puffy from kissing you. "Bedroom."
You shake your head. "Right here,ā you reply, going in for another kiss. āUniform stays on.ā
The middle of John's brow scrunches slightly in confusion, but your fingers are already looping in his belt buckles, guiding him into the living room. That brief moment of confusion morphs into a sultry smirk.
John allows you to guide, allows you to push him onto his back on the sofa. His hands never leave your body, they roam constantly even as you undo the front of his pants and shimmy them down to mid-thigh.
You have him in hand instantly, coaxing him to hardness quickly. The need for him is a driving force, positioning yourself above him, ready to impale yourself.
John's hand slips between your legs, fingers finding your center. "Yourāfuck." The sound of your slickness greets him and John groans.
Placing your hands on his chest, John palms the base of his cock, lining it up. You don't slowly ease down. You drop, accepting every inch of him in one go. There is a brief flare of pain from the rapid intrusion, and then it's gone, replaced with the fullness of him inside you.
With your palms splayed wide, you're able to rock your hips, moving up and down his length in a steady movement that has both of you groaning.
"I missed you," he murmurs as you come back down on him. "FuckāI missed you."
Your thighs start to burn with every bounce. John's fingers dig into your hips, dragging downward before ascending again. With the next roll of your hips, John meets you, thrusting up. It cuts a sharp gasp from your lips.
He grips harder, taking control. You cling to the front of his uniform, fisting the fabric as John brings you down just as he thrusts upward. It is not sweet. It is brutal and desperate. Each connection drags more pleasure out of you until your head falls back and you clench around him.
With a deep groan, John sits up, and effortlessly flips you over onto your back. Pinned beneath him, there is nowhere to go. All you can do is take what he gives.
John buries his face against your neck. "Love you so much."
You hook your heels behind his legs, urging him on. "Love you," you manage to gasp.
It is all sweat and heat. John's lips graze the line of your throat and then your chin. You turn toward him, the two of you meeting as he holds his body against yours, his release flooding your pussy.
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
Kyle drapes his arm over your shoulder, tugging you against him, the noise of the function receding with every step. Usually when the two of you attend a formal function together, Kyle is in a suit, but this attendance was requested by Kyle's superior officer, Captain John Price.
Instead of a suit, Kyle wears his formal military dress. The uniform is freshly steamed and free of wrinkles. His shoes are polished to perfection. Like this, he's incredibly handsome. You've been admiring him all night, resisting the urge to touch him too much around people he works with on a regular basis.
"Can't wait to take this bloody thing off," sighs Kyle, lightly tugging on the neckline of his uniform.
You rest your head against his shoulder, savoring his warmth. "I think you look rather dashing."
"Dashing?" he laughs.
As the two of you enter the parking garage, you snag his hat, placing it on your head. Kyle's smile widens. He leans in for a kiss, greedily accepting what you offer him. Removing the car keys from his pocket, Kyle hits the button to unlock the vehicle. The SUV beeps, headlights coming on.
Kyle takes his hat back, holding it with one hand instead of putting it back on his head. He offers his mouth again and you close the distance.
"Can't wait to get that dress off you, love," he murmurs against your lips. āBeen thinking about it all evening.ā
You place your hand against his chest. "I think I'd like it if you leave the uniform on."
Kyle nearly chokes. "What?" he draws back slightly.
With a mischievous grin, you tug Kyle around the side of the SUV. The vehicle is in a corner spot, leaving the two of you tucked between it and a cement wall. There is no camera and no light. Both of you are hidden in shadow.
No one will notice the two of you unless they come looking.
You lean in slowly, offering your mouth. Kyle places his hand on the side of your throat, thumb slowly rubbing against the front of your neck. The kiss is honey-sweet, and tinted with seductive need. You seek another, and yet another until the two of you are gasping for air.
"Not here," murmurs Kyle, drawing back slightly.
Your hand slides downward, pausing at his belt. Kyle whispers your name, but there is no fight in it. If anything, it is lustful. Fingers toying with the belt, you kiss him again, loosening the buckle and then the front of his pants.
Reaching your hand inside, you find him hard and wanting.
"Someone will see," he groans, grabbing your wrist.
"Who will see us?" you reply softly. Kyle's gaze shifts outward to the parking garage.
"No one is around." You start to descend, opening his pants further.
Kyle's attention returns to you. His pupils expand as you take him in hand, painting your bottom lip with a pearly bead of cum. You present your glossy mouth to him, and Kyle brushes the pad of his thumb across it.
You lightly nip at that thumb, and then take him into your mouth. Kyle stifles his groan, but it comes out as a muted whimper. He gently cups the back of your head as you suck him down, hollowing your cheeks when you come back up.
This is just a tease. You want his resolve to slip.
Kyle doesn't break eye contact. He is completely focused on watching you. His dick twitches in your mouth, and Kyle grunts.
"Fuck, love. Come here."
With gentle tenderness, Kyle grasps the back of your neck, easing you off him. You extended your legs, leaning into him.
His voice is slightly husky. "I can't wait until we're home."
Kyle opens the rear passenger door and helps you up into the seat. You slide backward to the other end, Kyle following. With a hand on your throat, he pushes you onto your back. These next kisses are rough and possessive. Hungry. Claiming. You open for him, wanting to consume.
His free hand is gripping your dress, shoving it upward where it collects at your hips. Your tongue meets his the moment his fingers slip between skin and underwear. It is brief, and then he's drawing back only to bury his face between your legs.
Digging your heels into Kyle's back to stabilize yourself, you give in, moaning loudly as his tongue swirls a path up and down your sex. He teases just like you teased him. But it is short-lived.
Kyle is desperate for you. He finds your clit and stays put, tongue working quickly to send you over the edge. Your body shudders, a breathy groan escaping you as the orgasm hits. Still on your back, Kyle ascends, one hand pressed to the inside of your thigh while the other finds leverage against the car door just above your head. You lift your hips slightly, presenting your pussy to him.
He takes the hint, thrusting deep.
He does not go slowly. It is skin slapping against skin. It is all low groans and desperate fingers. His body weight keeps you pinned, and if anyone were to open door they'd have a clear view of his bare ass.
"Don't stop," you beg. "Please."
Kyle's answer is to seize your mouth, to force his air into your lungs, to firmly press his body to yours and swivel his hips, pelvis grinding against clit. Your hands fall on his ass, and then he's transformed. An animal. Rutting.
Surely, the car is shaking, but you hardly care. You only want him to finish. To give you every drop of his release.
You feel his muscles tighten under your hands, and then your bodies are sealed.
There is a small pause between then and the moment he kisses you, this time tenderly.
"So much for waiting," you tease.
Kyleās exhalation is a pleased one. "Just wait until we get home."
John "Soap" MacTavish
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?"
Johnny's smile is devilish. "Came to see you."
"Me?" you laugh. "You just saw me this morning."
"And it wasn't nearly enough," coos Johnny, grabbing hip and waist, tugging you against him. "Missed you the whole time. Couldn't stay away."
Before you can form a reply, Johnny is lifting you up and onto the kitchen counter. He pushes everything up and out of the way, revealing your pussy to him.
"Johnny!" you exclaim.
With one hand on your thigh, Johnny uses his other hand to remove his belt and undo the front of his pants.
"I came home to fuck my wife." You instantly feel your cheeks grow hot. With a sultry smile, Johnny leans in but doesn't close the distance. "Would you like that?"
You nod. "Yes," you reply, voice nearly a whisper. "Butā"
"But what?" he asks. You gesture at him. "The uniform? That stays on, love."
Guiding you wider, Johnny circles your clit with the pad of his thumb. The touch is electric, making you shiver as he toys with your sensitivity.
"Look at that," he purrs. "Look how wet and ready you are for me."
You whimper as Johnny tests your pussy with a finger.
"I think this deserves something bigger. What do you think, love?" He inserts a second and you whimper again. "Use your words."
"I want you inside me."
"I am inside you," he teases, pumping both fingers.
You shake your head, gasping as his thumb toys with your clit. "Your dick, Johnny."
"That I can do." His fingers are gone instantly, replaced with the head of his cock. He holds himself just inside, inching slowly until you've taken him to the base. "We'll have to make this quick. Can't be late and disappoint Price."
Johnny lightly swivels his hips, and then he's holding you in place, thrusting steadily. He kisses your lips, then your cheek. Resting his forehead against your temple, Johnny boxes you in, using your pussy for himself.
"You take me so well," he says softly. "Watch. Want you to watch."
Your gaze shifts downward, locking on to where your bodies meet. Keeping one hand on the countertop to stabilize yourself, you bring the other between your legs, fingers lightly playing with your clit.
"That's it," purrs Johnny. "Come for me."
A brief swirl and you're gone, squeezing hard around Johnny. He fucks you through it, grunting as he increases his pace. With a moan that claws up his throat, Johnny seals your bodies together, and his warmth floods your pussy. He thrusts lightly and stills.
A beat of silence, and then you both burst out into laughter.
"Fucking hell," he mutters, shaking his head.
"You came all this way on a break just to have sex with me?" you laugh.
Johnny leans back, grinning sheepishly. He glances down at his watch, smile fading. "Shit."
He pulls out and steps back, fumbling with his pants.
"Are you going to be late?" you ask teasingly.
Johnny tightens his belt and then helps you off the counter. With a quick kiss to the cheek, he heads out the door.
Simon "Ghost" Riley
Every light in the house is off. The blinds are closed and it's completely dark except in one particular room.
The deep red glow calls out to you like a siren song. You stride toward it, moving through the hall silently like a shadow. The bedroom door stands open, revealing the blood-tinged space. From your pointĀ of view, nothing is out ofĀ place. All is calm and as it should be.
But Simon is here somewhere. Lurking. Watching.
This is what you wanted after all. An idea you passed off to Simon with the hope that he'd indulgeĀ your fantasy. Clearly, he took it to heart.
Adrenaline spikes in your blood as your gaze focuses on the bed. Attached to each corner are wrist and ankle cuffs. To be immobile and bred at Simon's pleasure is all you asked for, and here it is.
As you step forward, a large gloved hand slides over the front of your throat, squeezing. Simon is right behind you, and you feel every inch of him. Without even having to look, you know Simon is in full tactical gear. Parts of it dig into your back.
The leather of his glovesĀ squeakĀ as his fingers adjust against your throat. With a little pressure, he tilts your head back and you meet his whiskey-brown eyes. It's all you can see of his face. The rest is shroudedĀ behind a balaclava.
"Do as I say," he growls. "Or you'll make this harder on yourself."
His command sends a bolt of need straight to your clit. Already, you feel a growing slickness between your thighs.
"Answer me if you understand."
"I understand," you murmur.
Simon makes a pleased sound deep in his throat. His thumb rubs a gentle line back and forth over the same spot.
His head tilts, lips pressing against your ear through the balaclava. "Then be a good little slut and get on your back."
Using his leverage on your throat, Simon lightly shoves you toward the bed. This time you turn around, facing him completely for the first time. He's dressed in all black tactical gear. Every inch of him is covered except his eyes, and his large frame fills the doorway.
When you take a step back, he takes a step forward. The backs of your thighs hit the bed, and you push yourself up and on, reclining until you're nearly horizontal. Simon saunters, gaze predatory and observing. His gloved hands hover just above your legs, pausing there before he bends slightly, reaching for an ankle cuff.
Simon glances between it and you languidly. You're not sure what his intentions are, not until he grabs your ankle with his other hand and tugs hard. You yelp, surprised, and then you kick out, attempting but failing to free yourself as Simon attaches the cuff into place.
"You said you understood," he growls, as you sit up to swing on him.
Simon snatches your wrist right out of the air. He hops onto the bed, kneeling as he grabs one of the cuffs for your wrists. Still, you fight and still you fail as he latches it in place.
You're not immobile but you're more restrained than before, movement restrictedĀ enough that you can't fight back like you want to. Not that you want to escape.
With a fluidity that surprises, Simon removes a knife from his boot and hooks it under the hem of your shirt. A sharp tug and the fabric surrenders to the blade. Simon tears it further, removing the garment completely.
As you use your one free arm to lash out, Simon is already prepared, blocking the blow and forcing it back to the bed. He attaches the cuff and returns the knife to your clothes, splitting your pants and tossing the remains aside.
You're on your back, completely naked and cuffed to the bed.
Simon's hand wraps around your throat, the knife tip dangerously close to your face. "I was going to worship your pretty pussy," he murmurs. "But I think I'll just take what I want."
It's all a gameāa scene. You want Simon to use you, to fuck you ceaselessly, to do whatever the fuck he wants because he can.
Simon flips the knife and imbeds it into the bed above your head. Slowly, he removes his belt, tossing it aside. When he opens the front of his pants and eases them down a fraction, you nearly groan at the sight of his hardness. Simon palms the base of his cock.
"I won't be gentle," he says, gloved fingers pressing against your pussy.
He rubs back and forth, easing a little more from your body before grabbing your hips and slamming home. There is a brief flare of pain from the intrusion and then nothing at all except excitement.
"Your body is mine," he growls as he fucks you. "And for the next twenty-four hours, I'm going to breed this pussy until I'm satisfied."
You are unable to move, unable to do much but take it. Simon is situated between your spread legs, and you have a clear view of his cock sliding in and out of you. If you want an orgasm, Simon will have to grant it. Begging for it won't get you anywhere. You need to be good, and then he'll reward you.
Simon grunts as he thrusts, pace increasing as he nears his end. Watching him is lovely. His groan is lust-drenched, his orgasm sending a little shudder through him that you feel in your core.
Simon's gaze shifts to between your legs where he slowly pulls out. "What a fucking sweet sight," he murmurs, more to himself than to you.
His cum pools at your entrance, threatening to drip out. Soon you'll be overly full, a mess between your legs and on the bed.
Already Simon is stroking himself back to hardness. "Think that cunt of yours needs a bit more.
taglist:
@glitterypirateduck @km-ffluv @tiredmetalenthusiast @miaraei @cherryofdeath
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@sammysinger04 @kylies-love-letter @dakotakazansky @suhmie @kadeeesworld
@keiva1000 @jackrabbitem @arrozyfrijoles23 @lovely-ateez @waves-against-a-cliff
@ash-tarte @marispunk @gingergirl06 @certainlygay @greeniegreengreen
#simon riley x reader#task force 141#task force 141 smut#ghost smut#soap smut#task force 141 x reader#task force 141 x you#task force 141 x female reader#simon ghost riley fanfiction#simon ghost riley#simon riley fanfic#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley fanfic#john soap mactavish#simon riley#john price x reader#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick x reader#kyle garrick cod#kyle gaz smut#john price smut#captain john price smut#price x reader#captain price x reader#soap x reader#soap call of duty#kyle gaz x you#gaz x reader#simon ghost x reader
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One of my tesfest fics is complete! :D
Now three more to finish but I'm not going to worry about those right now. Right now I'm just glad to have one done.
It's been given its final name now, but here was its working title XD:
#oblivion fanfiction#fanfiction#oblivion#the elder scrolls#tes#tesfest24 prep#my writing#i don't really think i'll have all four done in time but it'll be ok#i was stressing about it but i've calmed down now#i'll try but i'll also try to not push myself
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I don't know how you've all experienced the year 2024, but I barely witnessed it, and I've been fighting for my life
#I've been in a constant state of flight and stress#there's been disaster after disaster#I didn't do a lot of fun things#and the things I did#I didn't enjoy very much or I don't remember them#I remember them as a fact (a mark on my calendar) but barely a memory let alone a feeling#I lost motivation for work and I fucked up a lot#my highs and lows have changed six times a day#like biblical proportions mood swings#lots of anger and sadness but they've barely registered either#way too much awareness in the present which was overwhelming but I haven't remembered them afterwards#or it just felt insignificant and boring#lots of doubts about myself lots of questions#it's been one crazy fucking year#usually I have some big grand plan or idea of how I want to do better next year#but now I'm just like ehh#which just raises more questions about wtf is wrong with me :)#haven't had a single day where I didn't wake up with a tension headache or pain in my neck or shoulders#or a single day amongst people where I didn't get agitated angry hurt feeling rejected#which hasn't happened all that much the past ten years so that's crazy#lots of old feelings. that I can handle now. no breakdowns or extreme sadness#it's just weird i dont understand myself at the moment#too lazy to grab my journal#(have been too lazy/bored/tired all year to spend any time on hobbies)#so the big rant goes here#I hope in 2025.... I get to calm the fuck down#i dont have a big plan or idea. I just want peace... and enjoyment...#looking back at my resolutions for 2024 is sad#im like that was me only a year ago what Happened?#personal
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So crazy how I can go from having a great day to all of a sudden remembering an upsetting dream I had last night and it just. Instantly ruins my mood </3
#negative#wtf I was doing so good why now of all times :[#had an upsetting dream about stumbling upon a bunch of ship art of Zooble with other characters and in the dream my phone froze on it#and I couldn't turn it off or exit the app or anything#so like. instead of being upset then my brain decided to make me forget about it until just now for some reason#wow cool thanks brain š (HEAVY sarcasm btw)#I've been like Super paranoid about coming across ship art today and didn't know why until now#gonna be completely honest with how stressed I've already been combined eith this right now#if I see them shipped eith anyone else I may start spiraling#dw though I've been trying my best to avoid scrolling through anything for too long#I'm not looking in any tags where I could come across it#I'm blocking anyone I come across in my recommendations who doesn't tag their ship art properly#I've basically been doing my own thing for the most part today#I'm tryinf to do Anything to dostract myself so I don't 5hink about it too long#I'm trying to work on another drawing#drawing is honestly the knly thing that helps me calm down when I'm feeling any kind of negatice emotions lol#so sorry to ramble like this#I've already had to bottle up so much the past week or so so i need to get at least one thing off my chest
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quietly getting more & more annoyed at my housemate & her bf as the evening goes on. thought they were at his house this weekend but they showed up unexpectedly to have loud sex here, left for a little bit, came back in the middle of a fight, and are now watching tv really loudly in between continuing to totally-not-fight-everything's-FINE.
#ctxt#shit chat#they're both rly nice people who genuinely love each other a lot & have been together like 7 years#but in the time i've known them they just keep playing out the same maladaptive patterns together and it's painful to watch#one of them will be irritable for some reason and snap at the other; other responds by airing a deep-seated grievance they've been sittin on#and instead of just. having a conflict about it to its conclusion to resolve the issue they just both fall over themselves apologizing#and spend several hours being really touchy & reactive to little things but overwhelmingly gentle/reassuring/affectionate#person A: *snaps* im sorry baby i didn't mean it i'm just stressed i love you so much can i do anything for you?#person B: no no my love you're fine i'm not mad i understand can i do anything for YOU you're so special i care about you so much#*make out in the kitchen about it a bit. swap roles rinse & repeat*#like i know turning towards a loved one after conflict instead of giving them the cold shoulder is a sign of emotional maturity#and is generally a healthy communication habit#but like. you gotta actually HAVE the conflict first instead of glossing over it the minute difficult emotions come up???#and when they get in these loops i really think they should just. agree on a mutual time out to do their own thing for a day#calm down sort themselves out and then come back together to mend things#instead of just reflexively drawing closer together immediately to try and smother discontent#which just results in them still being upset and now tripping over each other bumping elbows exacerbating things#while being obnoxiously saccharine to cover it up#i mean. 7 yrs is nothing to sneeze at but imo this is. not a sustainable way of relating & building a life together#and it sucks to watch it play out. reminds me of my parents who were blissfully incompatible in a similar way for like 30 years#before it finally blew up spectacularly with a lot of collateral damage earlier this year.
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need Guz to hug me tightly for like an hour solid oh my god dhdjdkl I went driving for the first time in over a year and I chewed my lip raw šš
I'm starting to look like a caricature of Anxiety with all these physical symptoms and signs LMAO
#this is so ridiculous fhfjdkdl#i do not like driving fjdkdl i know i should not be on the roads#but unfortunately i have to bc i live rural and also my parents insist i ''just need more practice''#practice is not going to fix the dissociation šš practice will not fix the Other Drivers being shitty and scary and reckless fjfkdl#it might make it slightly easier bc i wont have to think as hard about shoulder and mirror checks and roadsigns and speed limits#and where i am located on the road and intersection rules and whatnot#but like... it does not fix that i live in a town (and world lol) where ppl are fucking bonkers on the road#i had someone riding my ass for like a full five minutes. we had only two feet btwn us. MAYBE. IF THAT MUCH.#he was BIG mad that i was going the speed limit#and THERES A POLICE STATION LIKE RIGHT NEAR THAT AREA MY GUY IM NOT GONNA GO OVER THE SPEED LIMIT RIGHT THERE LMAO ????#also im a rule follower usually so i do tend to go Exactly the speed limit fjfkdl#and maaannn that makes people SO fucking angry dhfjdl its impossible to drive Anywhere without having someone right on ur bumper#its so ridiculous like... that's not helping anyone ??? ur not getting to ur destination faster by riding up on somebodys ass ???? hewwo ???#ANYWAYS. i drove around the neighborhood and then went up the highway and thru some intersections and then into the main core of town#and then i got my dad to take over from there bc it was lunch hour and the core of town is a lawless land at the best of times#MY NERVES ARE FRIED. i need Guz to act as a weighted blanket or one of those pressure therapy vests for me LOL#im like... shaking fhdjsl that was far more than i thought we were going to do for driving today good lord#IM OKAY THOUGH I SURVIVED I DIDNT EVEN HIT A CURB OR ANYTHING#i think I've only hit a curb once so far in all my times driving and that was on my second time driving on a road i think#so pretty good track record... im a very careful driver fjdkdl i work so hard to be safe and drive smoothly#during my driving test the only thing the test guy had to critique was that i waited at an intersection when i could've gone#but the reason i waited was bc i wasnt sure i could make it across the traffic lane before the oncoming vehicle got to us#so it was like. a safe decision overall but a little too hesitant which can actually be unsafe fjdkdl#AUGH ANYWAYS SORRY FOR RAMBLING SM#driving stresses me out so bad and my lip is all raw now and i have so many physical stress symptoms the past few days fhfjdl#after tonight i should be able to calm down a bit hopefully fhfkdl theres a thing we're going to tonight thats been stressing me out so bad#but after tonight it'll be over and hopefully I can get myself settled down again fjfjdkl#dandy.cmd#vent //
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saw your tags on my post and i hope you find that āsparkā to really go feral over sleep token again! theyāre so much fun to be batshit crazy over, thereās just so much going on and they all seem like such genuine dudes i canāt get enough
that post was sparked by seeing a video of vessel sobbing through the end of ascensionism and like i was so done for after that. like physically shaking so i figured i needed a break for a bit š
also i think that altar sounds like an awesome idea! as soon as i move my dresser into my new place iām setting up an altar on it
1). i am trying so hard to get it back, for real for real. I lit the candle I associate with them this morning, and thinking about the *altar thing has helped a bit.
2). share a linkš?? if you still know the video?? even if you don't know the video still, maybe send some others?? I would like to be a menace over them lol.
3). * I am now going to info dump to you about my sleep token altar a bit. Cause I am thinking too much about it lmao.
(readmore cause this got long and something... 'tragic' happened.)
(a little.. background, I am currently irl in the closet for everything including witchy stuff lmao) So far my idea for stuff on it includes: a small back prism, a small whale statue, a small apple pendant (each to represent the three albums). A bottle of oils (the little one I made, but also maybe something like the prayer oil we talked about). The candle I associate with them. I'm kicking around getting the incense holder if it comes back in stock on their website. bones/teeth (wolf, I'm thinking wolf). I'm thinking it'll be a little place on my main/working/creative altar. I might also try to find a tarot deck that i associate with them, I think that would be fun. something else I have been thinking about, but it would be so freaking expensive to do, is making a rosary with the 'offical' -
shit.... fuck shit fuck. I think I just spoiled myself on accident cause of google. I didn't see much but i think an old pic of vessel came up, but fuck google man. I went to google the official scythe pendant and google change sycthe (yes misspelled like that) to members for some reason, I am so confused and actually mad. Ok. I think I have forced my brain to forget. worst google fuck up ever.
ok, so ... trying to move on... I want to make a rosary with the official scythe pendant, some tahitain pearls and some black amber beads. I think that would be so pretty, and nice to hold and maybe wear. ( i know traditionally you don't wear them, but like.... I am making one to a band/fictional god lmao, it's not traditional at all.) but that would be very pricy for a piece of jewelry and I would probably never wear it cause of that haha. it would be like 400$ to be able to get the supplies.
#grumping ahead about the thing that happened in the end of this no spoilers i wouldn't do that to you.#I think I know one first name now. I am pissed. fuck google. I probably know what Vessel looks like fuck.... no spoilers but personally?#i am correct he's pretty.#I have never been so anger at google in my whole life?? why did it do that??? it took the top search from scythe to MEMBERS/////#I have never been more angry about being right about someone being pretty in my whole life fucking fuck.#ok I'll stop complaining it had to happen eventually but i'm pissy now *grump*.#I think.... I've already blocked it from my mind already... I think I know IV's first name tho?? or III's. Poo. I know it was down the list#so it wasn't Vessel's name. ugh. That was so upsetting and especially after the stress of the afternoon. Ugh.#our oven is borked and is putting out co2. so we have no oven for christmas oof. i was gonna make cinnamon rollsssss man. I'm sad. oh well.#I have calmed down by the time I am posting this. but dang I'm very upsetty spaghetti about that. honestly more upset about this then the#oven haha.
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Moving is stressful. Moving back in with your mother who you were willing to be homeless instead of living with is even more stressful. Moving back to the town you grew up in and never wanted to go back to is even more stressful. Doing all of this whilst struggling with depression is even more stressful. He's allowed to not talk to me for four days when the last thing he said to me was a reassurance that he's only not responding because shit is hard right now. This is not personal. He's not even online on discord ever anymore so he probably doesnt have much free time and is just, moving. Its okay. I'm just overthinking because I miss him.
#hollow#@.@#I feel bad for oversharing about their shit right now but I need to. calm myself down. bc I keep getting stressed about it#and like. I need to not take this stress out on him bc I've already sent him like 7 messages since he last responded#and I cant be more annoying. I refuse.
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yeah see, i've ran into the exact same issue!
got tangled up in whether to get a url, what to put on the site, how to split stuff up between our main and starcat, and so on. its so frustrating! and i'm out of time! because i have to get up SO early tomorrow for an appointment and its SO important i don't stay awake too late. UGH.
#starcat says#skyia.exe#i need to calm down and relax a bit.#its hard! we get SO stressed. because if i don't do it NOW i just Won't. but that isn't True!#we come back to things all the time! its just something we panic about a lot#>_<#i think this is probably the first big upset i've had to deal with since i split and oh. i am not handling it well. but i'll get there.#recognising that i am upset and that this is the first time i've been upset is helping :'3#of course i'm stressed. everything is a lot#and that's okay.
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Sometimes I sit and think about all the scary times in my life and realize how blessed I am to have gotten through it all the way I did
So many times God was there protecting me. And its crazy to think about! A good crazy. Like seriously, I could've ended up in a far worse mental state. I had many reasons to in all honesty. And yet, it never came to be
God's good like that lol
#molly rambles#some of these things i've picked up on years ago#while some i just realized more recently that i was being protected#but now more than ever tho it hits differently#i have a lot of things to be depressed over#i have a lot of things to stress and worry about#but i'm not struggling with those things that badly#especially with depression tbh#anxiety is the more active threat in my life but even then its been calming down in a lot of areas recently#still got ways to go but progress is progress!#i want to really ramble and go into details#but my thoughts just go on and on and on xD
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I'm back in the place I grew up for the first time since moving 6 months ago and it is so fucking weird and I have a lot of feelings
#firstly i am fucking exhausted#my girlfriend stayed over last night and i slept like 5 hours#i am so stressed#and my birth control has been fucking with my energy severally#secondly ive been on edge since I woke up#I've constantly been 15 seconds away from sobbing uncontrollably or bashing my head against a wall until my brain leaks out of my ear#my poor fucking girlfriend had to deal with me being overwhelmed and irritated and they were so lovely and just made me feel calm and loved#i also miss her so fucking much even though if i was still in ny i wouldn't be seeing them anyway#the drive was terrible we had like an hour of traffic because it was a holiday weekend and we completely forgot#and the whole reason im down in jersey is because my grandma's back in the hospital#so that's a whole cluster fuck i dont even feel like unpacking right now#and that's not even me having such weird and complex feelings about being back in a place i called home for 24 years#it's weird and it's a lot#on the bright side i got really really really good pizza and im getting phenomenal bagels in the morning#but im just so tired and overwhelmed and i want my girlfriend#personal
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#tag talk#I've started using music to fall asleep to. because if you watch a video and start to feel sleepy but then stop once you close the video?#the answer is to leave the video running while you fall asleep of course#I'm using music not talking so I don't dream funky and sleep restlessly.#it probably says horrible things about my ability to calm down. rest. and not need distraction. but anything that helps right?#idk. the brain's inability to sit with any sort of quiet. any sort of space to think.#I can't stand when nothing is happening because then I have time to think my own thoughts.#I'm just high school again. which... yeah I'm stressed to hell so it makes sense. but it's annoying and a little disappointing#disappointing that enough stress can just revert me back. I know I'll bounce back faster and more healthily because of the work I've done#but it's still annoying to be back in this same place#how can you move on when you're constantly visiting your old self?#is it nostalgia? trauma? a secret other thing? perhaps all of them at once? I don't know.#I can never be estranged from my bio sex because I'm him all the time.#things get bad and I'm just that terrified little kid who's convinced everyone can read his mind and hates him and wants to hurt him.#and then I'm older me. angry and ready to hurt anyone who touches us. because I'm fucking done with getting pushed around#but I want to get back to me. I want to get back to smiling and laughing so hard I have to lie down on the cold kitchen tile to calm down#one of my minecraft kids told me yesterday that his face hurt from smiling so much while talking to me. that's the kind of person I am now#and I want to be that. I want to be her. I want to be me. I'm so tired of bouncing between past and present.#what does it say that my protective mode is a man and my emotionally honest mode is a woman? idk#trans men often live more emotionally honest and authentic when they transition. obviously my experience will be limited data#I don't think it means anything except the inherent fear that is perhaps characterized so often in trans-women experiences#the fear that becoming myself is somehow reductive of gender roles. the fear that I'm confirming some deeply held bias#which is bullshit. I can be who I want. and I certainly can be who I AM. I just. I want to be me. I want to lose the pressure#because sharing my experiences with others in a way that improves other people's lives is what I want from life.#hmmmm. just had a thought about how minecraft allows me to express whichever side of me I want.#the eager insufferable know it all kid who just wanted to create the world in his own image.#the paranoid and nervous maniac who just wanted everything ordered properly and for it to stay predictable for even just two fucking minutes#and me. the one who wants to create things with others. to engineer collaborative experiences and to build others up and make them happier#idk. I vibe with a lot of stuff I read about did but I really don't match so none of this is trying to pretend or co-opt identity.#but idk. I'm so tired of being split between these eras of my life and getting thrown back into one of those people when things get bad
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šāؾš¢Ö“ą» Quotes to keep in mind šāؾš¢Ö“ą»
a/n: these are just some sayings that I like to keep in mind while manifesting, you don't have to keep these in mind but I like to and think they help me somewhat, btw if you recognize your quote or someone else's pls dm or comment it so I can give credits :)
# Mind over matter
I believe that this one is pretty straightforward. 4D over the 3D, imagination over the physical, the inner over the outer. You can pretty much say that this is the basis of LOA and shifting.
# Persist because you know it's done not cause you're waiting to see it done
THIS, you already have it so why are you persisting to see it? It's already there. It's like you affirm "I have xyz, xyz is right in front of me." and then in the same breath go "Now because I've persisted a bit let's wait till it appears." meanwhile your xyz is staring at you irritated. I'm not saying that you should actively persist and affirm 24/7 cause you'd get burnt out but just continue your day not stressing cause you know it's done.
# Stop trying, Start being
Be the one who has it even though it's not in front of your 3D eyes you still have it in your 4D eyes. Be the one who's the prettiest in school, the smartest, the strongest, the most famous and so on. There's no "Let's affirm that I'm beautiful and see what happens." There's only "I'm the most beautiful, period." Walk like it, talk like it and act like it. Me personally I don't like forcing it or doing anything in the 3D because it can get tiring so instead I just walk like it, talk like it and act like it in imagination cause it's all you need.
# Be too lazy to doubt
This is something I came up with and it's also pretty straightforward. Whenever I want something I just think about it for a second then instead of worrying about if it'll work and then trying to force a positive mindset I'll just quickly move on cause I'm to lazy for all of that overthinking hehe.. Two times I manifested my teachers being sick and keep in mind these teachers are never sick and I've always "failed" to manifest it but this time I just thought "They're not here and idc or know why." and continued my day being too lazy to doubt and BAAM both of them weren't at school. I was kind of surprised at first but calmed down cause obviously it worked, I'm a master manifester duh. Also this week I had to take school photos and I listened to a photogenic/dreamy sub together with a look cute one and everyone even girls I don't really talk with called me pretty. Heck my teacher said that I was one of those photogenic type of people. Anyways never could have thought being lazy was a blessing in disguise huh..
That's all, have fun with manifesting and shifting y'all and bye!!!!
#interstellarrisa#void state#law of assumption#loa tumblr#loablr#reality shifting#loa#loa blog#loassblog#loassumption#shiftblr#loa community#manifesting#realityshifting#shifting reality#reality shift#desired reality#shifting#shifting community#shifting blog#shifters#shifting advice
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š Don't Back Down š
Pairing: Unit Chief! Sub Spencer Reid x dom! BAU Reader
For the CM Kink Bingo Challenge 24
Requested: Hello!! You are an excellent writer, and I hope you donāt mind a random request. :)!Basically, Spencer breaks protocol and endangers himself - runs after an unsub without backup, takes off his vest, etc. whatever it is - the reader is either there or finds out and is PISSED. Sheās obviously not above him in the BAU, so she canāt punish him at work, but she can punish him in bed through toys/edging.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, brief mentions of details, minor gunshot wound, sex toys, punishment, BDSM themes, male sub Spencer, cock ring, dildo, masturbation (f), squirting, overstimulation (male), multiple orgasms, begging, messy sex, slight cum play, implied oral sex (f), boss/ subordinate relationship, partial established relationship, FWB dynamic. Implied switch x switch.
A/N: Hello! I really loved writing Unit Chief Spencer for my first Kink Bingo fic, so I've decided to bring him back a second time, and I'll be rounding out the challenge with a third part in the Unit Chief saga in July! You don't have to have read the first part, but if you want to, you can find it here~ā” I'm still enjoying the challenge of interpreting all the bingo challenges and this marks my very first bingo line! Let's see if I can get a full board!!
Masterlist || Bingo Board
His tenure as Unit Chief may have been temporary and wholly unwanted, but you admired Spencer's commitment to actually taking care of every member of the team he was left in charge of.Ā
He'd supported JJ in interviews, actually taking care of the press very effectively, and made sure Garcia was calm and stable. Hell, he'd even made Rossi feel better about his work on cases. And for you - well, he'd taught you to shoot straight. That and more.Ā
He'd held you in the middle of the night on the tougher cases, letting you sob into his bare chest the day you'd first killed an unsub. He'd distracted you from cases with his tongue, and his fingers and his dick, he'd given you pleasure where the job gave only pain and stress, and you loved him.Ā
You loved him, even if he was going to get himself killed.Ā
At first, it had been pulling Luke out of the way of a moving vehicle, being almost mowed down himself when on a case. Then he'd walked into a scene without his gun and had actually taken off his vest in exchange for JJ and Tara being able to back away to safety. He'd closed a door between him and Rossi and an active bomb that had only just been deactivated in time, and more recently, he'd taken two bullets for you.Ā
It was like he wanted to die.Ā
Th bullets, of course, had hit his vest, but a third had scraped his shoulder, and the cry out of pain had you nearly hysterical. Luke had taken down the unsub immediately, but you were a flood of tears already, panicking and having and dropping to your knees as you shook, the anxiety of almost losing him flooding your body with adrenaline.Ā
After all that, he was still the one comforting you.Ā
āY/N. Y/N, shhh, it's okay, I'm here. I'm okay. Don't cry were both safe, I saved you. We're safe.āĀ
You pounded at his chest, but with the others surrounding you, there was nothing to do but stand and pull yourself together, even if you wanted to rage at him and tell and scream.Ā
He gave out orders and was escorted away to an ambulance, and you wiped your tears and got to work. You'd fucked Spencer, sure, you had been fucking him for months now, but it wasn't a relationship. It certainly wasn't anything your coworkers knew about, and you knew they'd have words if they did know.Ā
So you wiped your tears, and you put your head down and finished up your work. Then you made your way back to the jet, back to your home, back to your bed, and waited for him to make an appearance.Ā
You weren't in a relationship, but you knew he'd come. You heard his keys in your door, rolling your eyes at how naive you'd been handing it over - in case of emergencies, really, he had Luke and Penelopeās spare keys as well because they lived alone, it'd be safer.Ā
You sat up in your bed and waited for him to come in, scoffing when he knocked on your bedroom door.
āWas there a point to that, Spencer?ā You asked, calling him in.Ā
He looked dishevelled, slightly worse for ware, but god did he look good. He wore a new shirt, a bullet hole ripped in the last one, sleeves pushed up to his elbows. The top buttons were undone, and he discarded his jacket on your chair before stepping closer.Ā
āY/Nā¦ā his voice was so tired you almost forgot how angry you were. Almost.Ā
āNo. Don't come to me like that after you pulled that stupid shit today, Spencer.āĀ
āHe was going to shoot you-āĀ
āHe was going to miss. You're taller than me. And if I'd stayed where I was, I would have fired off a round before he could even get one shot in. But you pushed me out of the way and almost got yourself killed instead.ā
He stood with his hands on his hips in front of the bed, a scowl on his face as he struggled with words to find next.Ā
āI won't apologize for saving your life.ā
āNo, you won't because you didn't save my life. You almost ended yours.ā
āY/N-āĀ
You knelt on the bed now and grabbed his shoulders, pushing him to his knees.Ā
āNo. I'm done listening, and you're done talking. If you're not going to stop walking into near death experiences, you don't get to walk in here and fuck me.ā
He sank to his knees easily, his eyes wide as you sat up on the bed in front of him. You thought of leaving him there the entire night, of kicking him out into the living room to sleep on the couch. If you hadn't been through so much that day, you'd just send him home.Ā
But sat there on his knees, you saw a flash of desire in his eyes, big and round and needy.Ā
His gaze flicked to your core, and you suddenly entertained different ways to punish him, to train him out of destructive behaviour.Ā
āHandcuffs,ā you said, holding out your hands for them. He passed them up, and you left the bed, restraining his hands behind his back quickly and grabbing two items from your draws.Ā
You moved to the bed and knelt again as he looked at you with dark eyes, suddenly aware of what was happening to him.Ā
āY/N-āĀ
āI didn't say you could speak,ā you said as you quickly peeled off your nightdress, leaving yourself bare on the bed.Ā
Usually, you'd feel embarrassed being naked. Even when he undressed you, you felt the urge to cover your tits, to squeeze your legs shut so he couldn't see all of you, to let him pry your hands away, to coax your legs apart.Ā
Now, you sat confidently, spine straightening as you looked down at him.Ā
His eyes took in your body, and he winced as if pained when you touched yourself, knowing that usually he alone had that honour.Ā
āY/Nā¦ā
āOne more time, and you won't return to this bed for days. Do you understand?ā
Learning, he nodded and sat up again to watch your fingers play with your nipples, twisting them either way as you moaned and sighed above him.
His breathing hitched as you let your hands trail lower and lower until they reached your cunt. You didn't touch yourself yet though.Ā
āOpen,ā You said, leaning forward and tapping his chin. He complied, opening his mouth and you shoved two fingers inside.
āGet them nice and wet for me.āĀ
He licked and sucked your fingers for two minutes, never breaking eye contact as his spit rolled down your hand.Ā
āGood boy,ā you said, pulling them away as you began to touch yourself. Sitting back on your ass, you rubbed your clit, rubbing his spit into your sensitive button, letting him know how good it felt, how close you were to cumming with his spit on your cunt. You plunged one finger in and then another as you watched him bite his tongue, careful not to let even a small sound slip out.Ā
You didn't even have to glance down to know he was hard. It was in the set of his shoulders, the rapid breaths he took. It was the way he sat back on his heels, rocking back and forth to feel some goddamn friction.Ā
You couldn't have that.Ā
You placed your foot on his uninjured shoulder and tried to hold him in place.Ā
āDon't fucking move,ā you said, slipping a second finger inside yourself ad you picked up the pace. Your hips bucked ad you watched him watch your cunt, paying attention to every twitch you made, every moan, breath, gasp, and shudder.Ā
āI'm gonna cum, fuck, I'm gonna- shit! Shit-āĀ
You came with a spurt, squirting your cum across his face as he leaned closer, desperate to taste you. You grabbed his hair and forced him backwards though, grabbing the two toys beside you as you dropped down to the floor.Ā
āYou're not touching my cunt today, Spencer, not even for a taste. You're not touching anything today.ā
You pulled his cock free from his pants and spat on it, not bothering to touch it properly before pushing the cock ring onto him and pressing the on button.Ā
In a minute he was a moaning mess and you smiled at the painful pleasure disrupting his features.Ā
āEyes open, Spencer, you have to keep watching.āĀ
You kept your eyes locked with his, his mouth open wide in a silent moan as he tried not to cum, desperate to hold out for you as long as he could.Ā
You climbed back onto your bed and spread your legs again, this time accompanied by a translucent plastic cock. You teased your hole for a few seconds, grabbing Spencer's attention before pushing it in.Ā
His eyes were stormy as he watched you fuck yourself with your old companion. You hadn't used it in a while, basically since you'd started fucking Spencer. He had rules, and one of them was that you couldn't use the dildo without his permission. He'd never given permission.
The look on his face now was worth whatever punishment he'd had out in the future, a mixture of anger and pathetic arousal, his eyes never leaving your cunt even as his own dick started spurting.
He came quickly, splashing up his shirt, ruining his pants.Ā
You left him there like that, though, even as he winced from the overstimulation.Ā
He didn't make a sound still, even as his dick got hard again almost immediately after deflating the first time.
āLook at what a mess you made. You're such a little pervert that you just came all over your shirt and pants. I hope you bought a spare, Spencer.āĀ
His fight was gone as he looked at you again, only lust left as he panted and writhed beneath you.Ā
You kept riding the dildo, burying It between pillows so you could ride it easier without needing to hold it.Ā
He watched transfixed as his cock twitched again, vibrating still right on his balls.Ā
āTell me how good it feels, Spencer.ā
āHurtsā¦ Y/N, so goodā¦. it hurts.ā
You smiled down at him and kept asking him questions, knowing he'd never be able to stay quiet now.Ā
āDo you want to cum again?āĀ
āFuckā¦yes, please, Y/N, please.ā
āDo you want to cum all over yourself one more time?ā
āN-Noā¦ messy, want to cumā¦in you.ā
āWhat a shame, Spencer, but that isn't allowed. I won't let you cum in me if you're going to try to take a bullet in the field.ā
āY/Nā¦ p-please,ā he whined, and you heard his voice break, hips thrusting up into the air now as he watched you.Ā
āNo. You're going to cum on yourself until you promise not to do it again.ā
He shook his head, closing his eyes as he tried to resist cumming for a second time, so out of control. āPlease-āĀ
āYou can do it. Promise me.āĀ
āY/N, p-please let me cumā he moaned again, his hands pulling at the restraints so he could get this infernal cock ring off of him and bury himself inside of you.Ā
But it was too late, and his second orgssm stretched out longer than the one before.Ā
You'd leaned in so close you'd caught a drop of cum on your face, but most of it pooled on him instead. He collapses backwards, his cum coating his stomach and chest, his shirt going translucent in places as the ring kept buzzing.Ā
His moans were loud now, and immediately, he knew it was too much to wish for round three.Ā
āI promise! Y/N, I promise, please fuck, I promise.ā
You quickly fell to the floor, turning off the cock ring and slipping it off as you kissed him tenderly, thanking him and praising him for doing such a good job for you.Ā
You rolled him onto his side and removed the handcuffs, immediately pulling them into your lap and massaging them, feeling a bit guilty about the red marks.Ā
āSpencer?ā You asked after a few moments when he seemed to have regained his breath and his senses.Ā
āMmm?āĀ
āWe should get you in bed. You need to rest.āĀ
He nodded and weakly sat himself up, falling into bed beside you. He threw the dildo across the room and nuzzled himself into you, head buried between your breasts.Ā
You pulled away and came back with a wash cloth, stripping his shirt and pants and cleaning the cum off him as best you could so he could sleep comfortably.Ā
āI prefer when you do that with your mouth, you know?ā He joked, and you playfully hit his leg. He couldn't still be thinking about sex after that.Ā
But he was. As careful as you were to not overstimulate him again, his cock still rose again, and he pushed your hands away, pulling you up to him.Ā
āI came twice, but you only did it once,ā he whispered between kisses.Ā
āIt seems like we need to get even.ā
With that, you knew that your turn being in charge was over, and he was the leader now.
"But only if you beg for it," you smirked, looking up at him, but he easily flipped you over, pushing you up so you were kneeling on the sheets above him again, him undernesth you.Ā
You happily followed him as he pulled your dripping core over his mouth, and he pulled you in for one last taste, begging you for forgiveness with his tongue again and again.
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