#i was so young but i still remember how quiet our house was until they recovered the bodies :(

[laurapetrie]

She was wild and vivid in a cautious and pale world. Always burning a little more brightly than any of us around her. Then I remembered a story written by Henry James. It was the story of a young girl named Isabel. A girl who was as brave as she was beautiful, who was pure of heart and as unafraid to love. His description of Isabel mirrored that of Carolyn and I wondered out loud how it was possible for him to have known her when he wrote that story over a century ago. But, I suppose, it was because he was writing about his dream of a pure and brave American girl, who comes along maybe once every hundred years, if we are lucky. - Carole Radziwill in her eulogy for Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy, July 24, 1999

[itsohh]

The Other Man's Ring

A/N: Female reader, looking at doing a couple of like linked oneshots sorta situation cause I like writing specific scenes but not an enitre story to go with it

Summary:  When Simon finds a hidden-away engagement ring he decides the pair of you need to talk.

Word count: 1420

Warnings: None

AO3 Masterlist Series Masterlist

He was normally relatively quiet. Prefering to watch and listen rather than to talk. At least that's how he was most of the time on base. In the field, he was one to take charge when needed and typically when he was alone with you, willing to speak up in comfort. Yet his current silence worried you. Sure sometimes he was just silent around your house but it was the fact that the pair of you had been in the middle of a conversation that concerned you.

"Simon?" You put the final dish from the dishwasher away and closed it. You wiped away any access water and poked your head around the corner. "Simon?" Again you called with no response. The short walk to your bedroom- now shared bedroom- seemed to take forever until you finally rounded the corner into the open door. "Simon, did you find my spare phone… charger?" Your voice trailed off as he stared at the small item in his hands. Your brows shot up at the sight of it, you didn't realize you still had that there.

"Are you married?" His voice was without emotion and at first, you thought to be offended, that you would ever cheat, but you bit back the knee-jerk reaction. An engagement ring was hidden away… you could see how his mind would run of all possibilities.

"Almost." You shuffled into the room and sat down on the large bed. It dipped under your weight and soon Simon followed your lead. It was a decent size rock. Diamond. Most likely cost a small fortune. "Long ago, maybe a year or two before I met you. I was in love." You glanced up to meet your lover's eyes for a second before your eyes fell back down to the ring that twirled in his fingers.

"I was young, well younger than I am now. He was great. Funny, charming, pretty and had one of those American accents that I loved to make fun of. Admittedly not terrible in bed either. Well, that's before my standard was raised." The pair of you lowly chuckled at that last part together.

"Even though we were both in the military, we kept our work completely out of our lives together. Hell, I still don't know what military he works for. It worked and we were in love. I worshipped the ground he stood on, crazy for him. He in turn took care of me, a doting boyfriend who eventually became my fiancé. The classic story."

"I presume things didn't work out?"

"Well after we got engaged we talked more and more about how we wanted our lives to be after we got married. We both soon discovered that we had rather different plans. I wanted to pretty much stay the same, maybe have a house together. But Phil? He wanted to protect me. Wanted me to leave the military. There wasn't any pressure for kids or anything." A sigh left your mouth. "Insistent on the matter. Sure, he wanted to keep me safe, but safe doesn't keep me happy. Eventually, after all the arguing I broke it off. Honestly, it wasn't really messy or anything. We just… moved on with our lives."

"He let you keep the ring?"

"I think both of us forgot about that one."

"That one?" He cocked a brow at you.

"Well, this is the ring he asked me to marry him with. I never wore it unless it was around the house. I don't know if you noticed but it's super unpractical." Simon tilted his head to the side in agreement, it was a bulky rock. "Eventually, he gave me another engagement ring. This time with the diamonds embedded into the band so I could wear it under my cloves at work." Your shoulders dropped for a moment. "Would have just preferred a blank ring, never cared for gems but Phil was Phil. He liked spending money on me." Simon passed the ring to you and you started to fiddle with it in your hands.

"I remember when I gave the ring back to him he didn't want to take it. I think there was a part of him that secretly wished we would get back together. Maybe he didn't forget about this ring. I don't know. Sometimes I felt like didn't know the man at all. Ultimately I saw what he wanted to see."

"Do you feel the same?" Simon's eyes cast over your face as you gave him a slight look of confusion. "About me." He clarified.

"Mmm." You dropped the ring on your bed and ran a finger over his hand. "At least I can see when you're wearing a mask." The home had the corner of his lip curl up while you traced the veins on his hand. "It's different, sure there are things that you keep from me. Both personal and work-related, you have your secrets and I probably won't know every part of you. But I don't feel like any part of you is a lie. Perhaps an act when you get all grumpy with the recruits…" Your eyes flashed up to meet his and your face spread into a teasing smirk before you continued. "But never a lie. When it comes to who you are as a person. I know you." Voice soft, you let go of his hand and placed it on his clothed chest. Right where his heart was.

Simon's eyebrows had narrowed but it didn't discourage you in any matter. "I could be wrong of course. You could be a secret mastermind behind everything. Plotting my demise." Simon leaned back on the bed and picked the ring up before he placed it on your side table. The same side table that he had found said ring in.

"And if I was? Would you regret it?"

"My demise by your hand? What a way to go. Have I told you I love your hands?" You winked and he rolled his eyes at you. A hand of his snaked around your waist and promptly pulled you close. Half in his lap you cuddled up to his chest your laughter shaking into his body.

"You have. Several times in fact." He made sure to press a little firmer into your skin to enthesis his touch. His touch ran up and down your forearm. The light touch of his lips made contact with the top of your head for a second before he sat back again.

"What would you like to happen if we ever got married?" Simon's voice was a hum, his focus seemed to be on your body but his mind was one hundred per cent on whatever your answer was to be.

"Us? Married? Hmm. I didn't think you were the type to want to get married." Your voice was a tease, not completely serious but he could hear the question wrapped up in your statement.

"Only to you."

"Charmer." You rolled your eyes, a grin on your face that you couldn't contain. "Honestly, if we were to get married. I think I would like things to just stay the same that they are."

"How so?"

"Well, we have no reason to move out of our houses. You live in England and I live here. We just carry on what we usually do and just take turns on where we live. I can't see how it would affect work any more than it currently does." Your head turned up to look at his warm eyes. "What about you?"

"I think we are on the same page with this one."

"Oooh wait there's one thing I would change."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"I think Sergeant Riley sounds pretty charming." His brow raised which caused you to let out a small giggle. "Or perhaps Dr Riley or even Mrs Riley if we are really striping it back."

"You want to take my name?"

"Why not? Man, it's going to make it soooo annoying and confusing when we are deployed together."

"You just want to stir chaos."  Simon's voice had a slightly deeper undertone to it, signalling his disapproval.

"Ah come on sweetie, it's not like anyone uses your name in the field anyway. I'll be Riley and you'll be Ghost."

"And if Johnny starts calling you Mrs Ghost?" Simon's question had you pause and physically cringe at the thought.

"Johns not gonna have a tongue for very long if he keeps that up."

"Even mute he'll never shut up."

"I can believe that."

[kaiswifeblog]

𝙎𝙄𝘾𝙆 𝙊𝙁 𝙃𝙊𝙐𝙎𝙀 [TAESAN X FEM!READER]

summary: in which you develop a crush on your neighbor, Taesan, while being locked in your house because of your sickness.

Song recs: sick of house by ozon

Genre: crack and fluff

Warnings: none-

feat/: Hanni and Minji (NewJeans), Yuna (itzy), Chaewon (LESSERAFIM)

Since you were little you've been told to stay in your house, and you liked it you stayed all day in bed (when you didn't have to do your lessons, of course) and that means no one that could distract you.

That is until you met him, Taesan, he moved in your neighborhood a few months ago and you remember that when you first saw him you could hear yourself screaming at how much you wanted to see him in person.

FLASHBACK:

It was a normal day for you, your parents were at work and you were in bed, when you hear a engine shutting off outside your window

You get out of bed and look out of your window. You see a moving truck parked in front of your neighbours house.

The last owners moved because they wanted to live somewhere cheaper.

while thinking you see a couple getting out of a car that was behind the truck

'great another neighbor that will never talk us, can someone of my age just come and live here!' You thought.

That's when a boy walked up to the couple ,which you assumed we're his parents.

And suddendly you just have to grab your phone and text your friends. You text the group chat in which you, yuna, chaewon, minji and hanni all talked.

you: GUYS!!!!

hunny:WHAT?? DID DOMEBADT KILL YOUR MOM??

chae: what-you: anyway, there is this new couple that moved here.

Yunyun:and??

Minji: they probably have a son her age and she started liking him.

you: how the fuck did you know?

hunny: Minji wtf!?!?

Minji: HELL YEAH, oh and it's bc I alr saw him

Minji: and talked with his parents

you: oh..

Minji: he actually looks like he listens to emo songs and Avril Lavigne.

Hunny: HE WAS A SKATER BOY SHE SAID SEE YOU LATER BOY.

Chae: so you want our help to catch his attention?

You: well..

You: wait someone rang the doorbell!

Hunny: okay dent let them in your house they might be bad!

You walked down the stairs and opened the door, just a bit, and saw that it was the couple you saw standing in front of the house next door.

"hello?" "Hello we just moved next door and we wanted to meet some of our new neighbours!" "Yes I saw from my window" "that's nice! May I ask where are your parents?" "They are at work" "so you're home alone?" "Mhm"

The couple looked at each other before calling Taesan over.

"Taesan can you please stay with this young lady here until her parents come home" "oh ma'am?"

Taesan agreed and now you both are sitting on your couch while there was an embarrassing silence

"so I'm y/n! Nice to meet you" "Taesan.." "so what do you think of the new neighbourhood?" "It's nice even tho I just arrived here"

"oh.." "why are you at home during school time?" He asked.

And you froze, you couldn't just tell someone you met that you had a sickness that didn't make you go out of your house

"I was sick today" "okay.."

A few hours later you found yourself at the door because taesan had to go home. You two stayed quiet for a while but you started to hear someone shout.

Your friends.

"Y/N WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU CANT GO OUT" they shouted "uh?" Taesan looked confused, why couldn't you go out is that why you weren't at school

"hanni please dont-" "oh don't me young lady you can't go out what would the doctors say?!" "Um excuse me can someone explain what's going on"

"minji is he the Avril Lavigne boy?" "what-"

"so you have an illness that doesn't let you go out of your house" "yeah" "well that doesnt bother me don't worry, still I have to go, see you y/n"

"see you Taesan"

[changingplumbob]

Woods Household: Chapter 1, Part 3

In this part Reece finally becomes a YA (it would have happened sooner but clearly wheelofnames.com wanted to torture me) the house gets power, and Fosters descend for a belated birthday celebration.

Part 3 is mainly my sims being in love so if you're only here to find out who killed Samir's parents feel free to skip this spicier part.

Low level content warning: Some sim spice and mentions of death

Samir: Happy Birthday blondie. I love you

Reece: *smiles* I love you to. Is it morning already?

Samir: And here was me thinking you were desperate to get started. You were *kisses* practically *kisses* begging *kisses* yesterday

Reece: I am *sighs* and can beg more *giggles* if you tell me to. But I also *kisses* really love cuddling with you

Samir: We can cuddle later. For now *kisses* get your butt *kisses* in the shower

Reece: The shower boss?

Samir: *sternly* Don't ask questions, just do it. Clearly in our down time you've forgotten your manners, that'll have consequences *switches to whisper* bad boys get punished

…

Reece: *panting* Wow, that... was definitely.... worth... waiting for

Samir: What do you say needy boy

Reece: Thank you boss *kisses* may I have some more

Samir: *chuckles* hmmm, not just now, you also said you wanted more cuddle time

Samir: You sure you want to be the big spoon

Reece: Just because you’re bigger than me doesn’t mean I don’t like getting my arms around you boss. Plus, I really love kissing your neck

Samir: *chuckles* Oh I'm aware. It’s your birthday I suppose, better let you have some say

Reece: So I'm a good boy again

Samir: Hell yeah you are

The couple are quiet for a few minutes as they come down from the woohoo high. Samir almost falls back to sleep but something's bothering Reece.

Reece: Samir... my lover...

Samir: *groggily* yep, I'm awake

Reece: About... about what happened to you…

Samir: *sleepily* hmm

Reece: Do you want me to not make such a fuss of your scars when we’re woohooing? I always thought they were hot but I don’t want to upset you if they bring up bad memories

Samir: *sighs* blondie, you know I tell you if I don’t like something you’re doing. I tell you quite sternly do I not?

Reece: Yes you do. But... maybe you’re trying not to make me feel bad when-

Samir: I do actually enjoy making you feel bad from time to time, you're more eager to please then

Reece: Lover be serious. I want to know I'm not upsetting you

Samir: *sighs* Are you listening properly blondie

Reece: I can stop talking if that’s what you mean

Samir: Never stop talking, but for now, cuddle and listen *kisses* My scars, they used to be a reminder that I had nearly died, that Grim could have appeared and taken me with him, right after my parents. But now, they remind me that I survived. Whatever tried to kill me failed *kisses* I love that you think they’re hot, it makes me feel even better about them *kisses* that I'm strong enough to look after you

Reece: How did I get lucky enough to score a man who’s just as strong on the inside as he appears on the outside

Samir: If I remember right you proposed we skip prom together, and kept going on about your feelings until I caved

The couple reflect for a while, recalling their past.  Of course all the reminiscing of their romance together means they have to take another pit stop in the shower before we can get to cake…

Reece: Where did you get a confetti cannon

Samir: From my pants, where else

Reece: And where did you get a cake, we don’t even have an oven

Samir: Welcome to the future blondie, you can get most things on the internet. Now be a good boy and make a wish

Reece thinks, blows out the candles, and is officially a young adult.

Samir: How do you feel

Reece: Geekier… I’m just going to go get changed

Samir: *kisses* Don’t cut your hair too short, I like being able to grab on to it

Reece blushes and heads for the bathroom.

Reece: There, will I do?

Samir runs his hands through Reece's new haircut, shorter but still fine for gripping. His hands move over Reece's torso, dancing softly across the ticklish parts, getting joy from hearing Reece try to contain his giggles. After running his fingers around the edge of the new pyjama pants he backs up and sweeps Reece's hand into a kiss.

Samir: You’ll do… very well. Come on gorgeous, the sun is up and we should enjoy it

By enjoy it Samir of course means head out to enjoy the near dead daylife of Moonwood Mill. That’s why he likes it here, there never seems to be any crowds. The two find a picnic table near the bar to enjoy the chocolate cake.

Samir: Your arms look so good in that shirt *smirks* Really makes me want to rip it off

Reece: *chuckles* I know, why do you think I picked it. Now tell me, what’s next for our secret mission

Samir: *sighs* It’s your birthday, we should be focusing on happy things. Like seeing if we can set a new woohoos in a day record

Reece: First off, yes. Secondly, solving puzzles makes me happy. Please tell me *pouts*

Samir: Alright, you win. I did notice this weird door that seemed to lead underground on my run yesterday. I figured I might take a look, perhaps there’s some signs of “bears” down there

Reece: My lover is so brave *blows kiss*

Reece: but, flirting aside, be careful Samir

Samir: Aww, you worried about me gorgeous

Reece: With you trying to find what killed your parents? Nope. Not worried at all that it'll get you killed. That I'll be left with even less answers than we have now. That I'll be... alone

Samir: Hey, hey. Come here

Samir pulls Reece in for a passionate embrace that takes his breath away. Like normal Reece is sure he's going to run out of air before Samir lets him go.

Samir: I promised I would keep you safe. I also promise, no matter what happens, I’m always going to come back to you alive. Remember that

Reece’s reply is swiftly silenced by Samir’s kisses returning furiously.

Samir: Now, do you want your birthday present

Reece: I thought you already gave me my present, twice

Samir: *chuckles* So you don’t want what’s in this box

Reece: I mean, I’m not going to turn down a gift. Wait, is this… really?

Samir: I know you’ve been wanting to try some for ages but I had to do some research first, ways to use them without you breaking a wrist. Plus I couldn’t very well be locking you in handcuffs that are going to break mid woohoo now could I

Reece: *blushes* Thank you. For getting them, and… getting me

Samir: You're welcome. Somehow... you understand me. Apart from that time you thought I was closeted

Reece: Yeah... I did kind of read that wrong. But I think I've got better at figuring you out

Samir: I'd say so. I’m always going to try and understand you, I promise

Back at home...

Samir: Gorgeous, I’m only going to the tunnels, I’m not leaving for say Peru or anything *kisses* We can play when I get back

Reece: I know lover. I just want you to know I’ll miss you while you’re gone, and I love you, and I love your neck, and I love your-

Samir: Remember blondie, the people should be coming with the wind turbines for installation

Reece: Stay here with me *nuzzles neck* I can show you electricity *kisses neck* and we can give them a show

Samir: OMW, I’m leaving *whispers* don't even think of getting off without me though

So Samir heads out to explore the tunnels for the first time while Reece tends to the garden. If his family are coming over tomorrow he wants to show his dad he didn’t forget everything he was taught about plants.

Reece makes sure to plant his chrysanthemum and Samir’s rose in the same planter box. It makes him happy to think the flowers can grow side by side, just like him and his boyfriend. Maybe if he gets good enough at gardening he can make a bush where they intertwine.

Samir’s first trip in the tunnels ends with a small scrape, but, determined to find some kind of lead, he brushes it off, and heads back in. Sure enough the wind turbines turn up right on schedule, the house will now have power! No more relying on lanterns.

*wolf whistles*

Reece: That better be you

Samir: Or what

Reece: Or I’ll have to tell the prowler I have possessive lover who will kick his ass for checking me out. Wait, are you possessive?

Samir: I mean… I don’t like to think of you with other guys but I’m pretty sure that’s just not wanting to be in an open relationship. Why? You want me to be possessive

Reece: Hmm, sometimes…

Samir: *nods* I shall try to be more of a possessive jerk in future then

Reece: Find anything in the tunnels

Samir: Nope. Now give me a hug so the neighbourhood knows you’re mine

Reece: *laughs* smooth, that’s not quite what I meant

Samir: I know what you- ahh

Reece: Crap! Are you okay

Samir: Yeah, yeah I’m fine

Reece: So that was just a not in pain screech then was it

Samir: I may have… fallen down a hole in the tunnels

Reece: You did what?

Samir: I’m fine, didn’t even break a bone

Reece: We’re having dinner, then a bath to get the cobwebs off you, then bed. I'm not having spiders invade our bed

Samir: *smirks* I thought I was the boss

Reece: Then you shouldn’t have fallen down a hole

Samir: I like falling in your holes... often, hard

Reece: *blushes* Oh watcher that was a terrible line. You might have a concussion, we should-

Samir: I’m fine gorgeous, and I’m cooking

Reece: Samir-

Samir: It’s your birthday. I’m not letting you cook on your birthday

Reece: This tastes good

Samir: Told you I should cook

Reece: Can you even taste it when you eat that fast

Samir: *through mouthfuls* absolutely

Reece: It’s got to be pretty healthy right? Char grilled food without oil? Maybe it’ll let me get muscles as big as yours

Samir: *smirks* Keep on dreaming blondie

Samir: You’re not going to make me have a bath alone are you

Reece: And you call me needy

Samir: You are. I’m purely thinking about how a man with a possible concussion shouldn’t be left alone around water

Reece looks skeptically at Samir who manages to keep his composure for a few seconds before breaking in to a smile, making Reece laugh. Sure enough both of them end up in the tub, and Reece helps Samir clean up before he wants to have cuddles again.

Samir: Did you have a good birthday then blondie

Reece: *smiling* Yeah I did, thanks to you. Do you think we could... take the handcuffs for a test run

Samir: *smirks* who’s the needy one now

Reece: *laughs* Definitely me boss *kisses* I always need your touch

Samir: You know the rules. Ask me nicely

Another sunny day dawns in Moonwood Mill and Reece and Samir kick things off with some woohoo and breakfast.

Samir: Any plans today before your family descend

Reece: You invited them so they’ll only be descending because of you

Samir: One day I’m sure I shall love them all… individually… alone

The couple head out for a morning run, oh how I wish there was a "go for a run together" option. Today Samir comes across an abandoned house on the outskirts of the woods. The place is filthy but he tries to take note of its location in case Reece feels like collecting frogs now that he’s a geek. It's here he realises he's an active kind of sim.

Eventually the Fosters (plus their plus ones) rocked up to pay Reece a belated happy birthday. He and Carson still don’t get on. Yes I reused the pose of Samir and Reece for an individual picture for their wall because they just look sweet.

Harvey: I know it’s Reece’s birthday but Kayleigh and I wanted to give you a little something

Samir: Oh… thanks!

...

Kayleigh: Happy birthday darling! Oh look at you, all grown up

Reece: Can I open my gift now

Kayleigh: Of course

Reece: A guitar?

Kayleigh: I know you have the music and dance hobby, we should have got you one sooner but-

Reece: I love it mum

Reece: So here I planted the fruit you gave me, and some stuff from the romance festival

Charlie: I’m just glad you remembered to plant the dragon fruit instead of eat it

Harvey: Let me know if you want any clippings from our garden, I’ve plenty to spare

Charlie: You checked out universities yet

Reece: That’s an in-progress thing. I mean, what would be the point in starting a degree before I know what I want to do

Harvey: If you want to be a forest hippie, you be a forest hippie

Reece: It’s kind of weird that you let us do whatever we want dad

Harvey: Is it? I thought I was being a cool dad

Charlie: Most parents have like, rules and stuff

Reece: *deviously* You know it’s not too late to implement rules for Carson

Reece: You should like… take away his cellphone, and ground him

Charlie: Aren’t you meant to be a mature young adult now?

Reece: Show me where it says mature sis

...

Keira: What are you working on

Samir: Umm... Horse

Kaori: With a knife? Is that safe?

...

Harvey: You sure you’re all right here

Reece: Yes dad, I’m good. Better than good-

Samir: Blondie... tunnels. Back later

Harvey watches his son say goodbye. It’s clear to him that Reece and Samir love each other, he just hopes Samir deserves his son. But how is he meant to learn who Samir is when he barely speaks?

Previous Part ... Next Part

[annwrites]

—simple man

oh, take your time, don't live too fast. troubles will come & they will pass. you'll find a woman, yeah, & you'll find love. — halfbrother!dean x lilhalfsis!reader ; ⊹∴※

He drags the chair away from the antique wooden desk across the room, seating himself heavily as he watches your slender side slowly rise and fall—occasionally jerking due to you quietly crying.

He looks down, nervously rubbing his thumb against the callused palm of his left hand. "I get it. We all do. We've all lost somebody. Hell, more than. And a lot like the way you did."

He sighs, glancing to the window—the tattered curtains—wondering how long it'll take before you're on Bobby's case about replacing those, too, so the room can seem more 'homey'. He smiles at the thought, eyes roaming back to you.

"When Sam and I lost our mom—when she died..." He stops, swallowing.

He's never had anyone to talk to about it. Not really. Not even Sam, because he wouldn't remember. No. This is yet one more burden he's been forced to carry alone.

His eyes trail along your body and he knows you must feel the same: like no one understands. Not even your new 'family'. But he does. God, how he wishes like hell he didn't.

"Sam was too young to remember. Still just a baby. Our mom, she woke up—middle of the night—to check on him. And there was a demon standing over his crib. But it was late and she was half-asleep. She thought it was our dad. Until she realized it wasn't."

You've stilled, listening intently, your sobs quieting.

"When dad found her... She was pinned to the ceiling in his nursery. She burned to death. And there was nothing he or I could've done to—to stop it."

He flexes his jaw. "We lost everything that night. Only thing we had? The clothes on our backs and dad's car. That's it."

He leans back, folding his arms, shrugging. "So, we went on the road. Started living out of motels while dad spent all his time trying to hunt the thing down that killed her."

He's quiet for a moment before continuing. "I understood it. Even then. Even as a kid. But I resented him sometimes. For leaving the two of us all alone like that. Forcing me to play not just older brother but...but the role of a parent, too, to Sammy. Now? I think I'd have done the same."

He leans forward again, clasping his hands, heart hammering in his chest as he watches you—wanting to gauge even the most minute of reactions as he finally admits it, owns up to it.

"That understanding only truly sunk in after we met. After I finally took the time to get to know you. See, if something like that happened to me? Something evil came along and took the woman I love away from me? A woman that's good, and kind, and gentle—that's everything I've needed for God knows how many years, even if I refused to admit it? I'd stop at nothing until I got my revenge. There's nothing I wouldn't sacrifice to achieve it.

"You think you've lost everything. But, sweetheart," he says, sliding his hand along your soft hip, gripping it securely. "I'm right here."

the day you meet sam & dean is simultaneously the worst day of your life.

the two young men find you cowering in a crawlspace in your house—your brother, adam, & mom, kate, had become something malignant. inhuman. so, you'd hid in terror, unknowing of what else to do—what was happening to your family & what they were doing to your home & why.

unable to see any other choice, even if dean argues against it, sam brings you with them, refusing to leave you all alone. especially knowing that you're one of them—at least half a winchester; their little sister & last child of john.

they take you to bobby's so you'll be safe, have four walls, a roof, & someone to look after you. something you desperately need after the incredible trauma you've endured—including learning that monsters do really exist & you now have two half-brothers who hunt them down & kill them.

to distract yourself from the realities of your new life, you set to work on bobby's house—cleaning from sun up to sun down, cooking him three meals a day, & baking in-between. you become, essentially, his own personal chef & maid.

you're quiet, & sweet enough. just...incredibly sad.

sam is kind to you, bobby quickly becoming the dad you never truly had—adam had always been john's favorite between the two of you—while dean keeps you at arm's length, eager to be rid of you sooner than later, knowing you'll inevitably become yet another responsibility that he never asked for.

but, every time they come to visit, the house is cleaner—more pleasantly decorated—with hot meals waiting for them, along with fresh apple pie & a smile. even a quiet 'welcome home' from your lips to greet them.

before long, dean more than warms to you. in truth, you become all he's able to think about to the point that he'll drive three states away to hunt, only to turn directly back around...so he can return to you—reluctant to be away from you for too long. terrified you'll forget about him, or replace him altogether if he is.

because the truth that he refuses to admit, even if sam & bobby have both attempted to lecture him on it, is that he wants you. that he...loves you. & he can't let you go. he won't.

not now, when he needs you more than ever as the apocalypse is on the horizon & he feels lost every which way he turns—unless he's with you.

headcanons:

dean initially keeps his distance from you. for a long while.

you spend every day deep-cleaning & getting rid of old junk & broken furniture. & bobby just lets you have at it, bc it seems to help you & he doesn't mind when he sees that you clearly have a vision in-mind for the place.

sam is friendly & warm toward you.

bobby is quite paternal.

eventually, dean softens toward you when he finds you crying alone in the house one day. he holds you in his arms until you calm. he can't go back to being a dick to you after that.

dean tends to stare at you a lot. half the time, it's just because he zoned out while doing so or because he's fantasizing.

bugs you about when you're making apple pie again.

tells you awkwardly how you're doing a great job with the place.

appreciates immensely that bobby has someone to look after him now.

likes how domestic you are; something he's not had since mary died. honestly? it kinda gives him a sense of safety.

enjoys when you hum or sing around the house.

likes that you smell like a mixture of honey & lavender.

thinks it's cute when he makes you blush from his indirect flirting.

picks you up dumb little souvenirs while on the road.

one night you fall asleep downstairs reading on the window seat & dean carries you up to bed. but not to your own.

cleans out the trunk of the impala just so he can take you grocery shopping at least once.

when you start getting new furniture for the place, dean helps put it together. tells you to make yourself busy baking him pies if you want to repay the favor. has half-a-mind to make a sexual innuendo instead about repayment, but refrains.

knows you're itching to get the basement cleared out, so he just starts carrying stuff up one day. sam silently helps.

until they find some old toys of theirs & get distracted—like rock 'em sock 'em robots.

he comes across an old selectric, which you're over-the-moon about, until you discover it needs a new ribbon. you quickly deflate, until one is waiting in a box the next morning on the porch that dean made sam overnight ship to bobby's.

is shocked as hell by your reaction to them finding a box of old rock cassette tapes "gimme, gimme!". also turned on as hell, though, when he sees you shaking your hips to ac/dc as you make them dinner.

you have no interest in hunting, but dean thinks it's important you learn the lore.

he also gives you some training. which is honestly just an excuse to touch you, or get you on your back.

like the time he has you pinned to the floor by your wrists while he "innocently" grinds his hips against yours with a smirk.

"ok, you can let me up now." he shrugs. "make me." he leans down. "or maybe you like this position."

totes plan for their first kiss to be similar to the delena one. they'll be at a motel, bc dean has been bugging her to accompany them on one hunt (which translates to her staying at the motel while he & sam go get the job done). she's lying next to him, unable to sleep & when she turns her head, he's already awake & staring at her. he gently takes her hand in his, but then she gets up & goes outside. he follows & they kiss passionately.

she's hesitant about things, at first, due to their relation.

after all the shit dean has been forced to deal with & go through, though, he couldn't care less. he's finally found something good & pure & like hell he'll just let it go.

sam & bobby comes to reluctantly accept it. and that reluctance eventually turns into happiness for the two of them.

dean is her first time.

he's very protective & gets jealous easily when other guys flirt with her that come to the scrap yard to buy parts.

he's kind of terrified of the same thing happening to you that happened to his mom & jess.

has nightmares about it sometimes.

when he does, he often ends up calling you in the middle of the night just so he can hear your voice & know that you're okay.

likes when you wear his clothes.

[numinousmysteries]

Dancing the Tandava (7/10)

[on Ao3] @today-in-fic

Washington, DC 1993

Since William has no identification, money, or place of residence in 1993, Mulder lets him stay at his apartment while they figure out what to do next. As he accompanies his parents on the drive to the airport and the shuttle flight from New York back to DC, he’s tickled by how different they were years before he was born. He only knows them as his happily married, domesticated parents, not these young FBI agents who barely know each other.

Even though they aren’t together together yet, he can see the sparks flying between them. It oddly reminds him of his relationship with Hannah. They’ve stayed up all night talking but have never done more than hug. She’s beautiful and makes him think. He’s considered telling her how he feels about her, but he was scared it would ruin their friendship. Watching his parents now, he doesn’t feel as afraid. As his dad unlocks the door to his apartment, William decides if he makes it back to 2023 he’s going to tell Hannah about his feelings.

Seeing his father’s old apartment thrills William. There’s the leather couch covered by a Navajo blanket and the fish tank from the basement of his childhood home. He tries not to think about it, but he suspects there’s a chance he was conceived on that couch based on the way his parents lock eyes over it. He glances over at the bookshelf and sees familiar titles on parapsychology, cryptozoology, and mythology. Some of these made the cut and are still in his parents’ house in Virginia, but others he’s never seen. He imagines his parents going through the bookshelf two decades ago, deciding which ones were still relevant and which ones they should give away.

Everything else in the apartment is the stuff of legends. This is the setting of all the stories his parents told him of late nights poring crime scene photos trying to break a case or watching old movies and debating the patriotic merits of butter on popcorn.

“This is so cool,” he says, unable to suppress a grin. “I’ve heard so much about this place.”

“About my apartment?” His dad sounds skeptical.

“Yeah,” he says. “This is where you lived before I was born, right? And then we all lived at mom’s old apartment for a little bit before moving into our house. Can we go see mom’s place? I’ve seen pictures from when I was a baby, but I don’t remember it.”

“Um, sure. We’ll see when she’s around. William, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Are Agent Scully and I a couple in your time?”

“Of course,” William laughs. “You’re crazy about each other. It’s actually kind of gross sometimes.”

“Are we married?”

“Yeah. You didn’t get married until after I was born, but you told me that you’d been together for a while beforehand.”

Mulder’s quiet as he takes this all in.

“I really shouldn’t say anything else, you know, Back to the Future and everything. Don’t want to accidentally scrub myself out of existence. Remember we used to watch that all the time when I was a kid?”

“I—” his dad starts.

“Oh yeah,” William says, dejected. “Sorry, I keep forgetting.”

“It’s okay, buddy,” his dad says. Buddy. It’s what his dad always calls him. “I don’t remember. But I can imagine if I had a kid I’d want to watch that with him. What about Plan 9 From Outer Space? The Wrath of Khan?”

“Yup,” William says, smiling. “I was Spock for Halloween three years in a row when I was little. None of the other kids had any idea who I was. That was before the J.J. Abrams reboot and everything.”

“They did a reboot? Was it any good?”

“It was okay,” William says. “I liked it. But you said there was too much action.”

His dad grins as he sits down on the couch and invites William to sit next to him. The leather feels squeaky, not as soft and broken-in as he remembers it.

“Mom doesn’t believe me, does she?” William asks.

“She’s coming around to it,” Mulder says.

William shouldn’t be surprised. His mother, the doctor and scientist, has always been the skeptical one but it still crushes him whenever she gives him a cold stare without any recognition. Where’s the mom who read him stories, soothed his nightmares, and helped him with his homework? The one who learned all the rules of baseball and basketball so she could cheer him on during his high school games and listened excitedly when he talked about everything he was learning in his college physics classes? He’s glad his dad, at least, believes him, even though he has no memories of his entire life.

“Am I a good father?” His dad asks hesitantly, and William turns back to face him.

The question confuses him. He always thought fatherhood came naturally to his dad. He remembers hours of playing with Star Trek action figures and building Legos on the floor of their living room as a kid, playing catch and practicing fielding ground balls in their backyard until sunset.

“You’re the best,” he says as if he’s confirming the sky is blue.

His dad turns away and he thinks he sees tears in the corner of his eyes.

“Does that surprise you?” William asks. Growing up, his dad was his hero. He never suspected he had any doubts about being a father.

“Honestly, a little,” Mulder says. “You mentioned my sister, Samantha. I can’t imagine myself settling down and living this life with Scully, and with you, unless I found out what happened to her. Do I ever find her?”

William knows this part of the story—how, a little over a year before he was born, his parents learned Samantha died at 14 years old—but now he starts putting together the pieces. His father needed to get closure before allowing himself to commit fully to his mother and, eventually, to him.

“You’ll find out what happened,” he promises. “You’ll get your answers.”

He sees the pain in his dad’s eyes, how he wants so badly to ask William to tell him the truth, but William can’t bring himself to do it.

“Back to the Future, right?” William says. “I can’t mess up the past.”

“Alright, Marty McFly,” his dad says, his mood lightened. “Let’s work on figuring out how you got here. And how to get you back where you belong. You mentioned this Dr. Bellona. Any hint where he might be working now?”

“I don’t know,” William says. “We can Google him.”

“What’s a Google?” His dad’s puzzled face makes William laugh.

“Sorry,” he says. “I keep forgetting it’s not 2023 anymore. It’s a search engine on the internet. Do you even have internet access?”

“Not personally, but I know some guys who do.”

“The Gunmen?” William perks up. He loved spending time with his dad’s trio of offbeat friends growing up. They always let him play with their latest piece of technology and shared wild stories about his parents from before he was born.

“You know them?”

“Frohike, Langly, and Byers are basically my uncles,” he says and his dad smiles. “They’re awesome.”

“Want to go pay them a visit in 1993?”

***

The Gunmen’s headquarters hasn’t changed much in thirty years. The technology has evolved but it’s just as grungy, overstuffed with audiovisual equipment, and somewhat malodorous as he remembers. Apparently, none of the three have updated their wardrobes in decades either. William recognizes Frohike’s leather jacket and fingerless gloves, Langly’s Dead Kennedys t-shirt, and Byers’s funereal suit.

“Guys, this is William,” his dad says as they come inside. “William, you know the guys.”

The three men look around at each other and then back at William.

“He knows us?” Byers asks Mulder.

“Tell them,” Mulder says, nodding at William. “They’ll believe you.”

“I’m Mulder’s son. And Scully’s. I’m from the year 2023.”

Despite Mulder’s assurance, all three Gunmen start laughing nervously.

“I don’t know what’s harder to believe,” Frohike says. “That Mulder knocked up Scully or that you’re from the future.”

“He appeared at Camp Hero,” Mulder says and the guys stop laughing.

“No way,” Langly says. “Did you see the Delta T antenna? That’s what they use to bend time. It’s supposed to have technology the military stole from extraterrestrials from the Orion constellation.”

“Well, the Delta T antenna can bend time,” Byers adds, “but it’s probably not what allowed you to travel back from the future. That was likely the Phoenix III tunnel.”

“Yeah,” says Frohike. “Do you remember a tunnel that descended deep underground? The CIA has supposedly been throwing homeless people down there just to see what happens, and they come back saying they walked out onto Civil War battlegrounds.”

“He’s a little hazy on how exactly he got here, but we think we know who’s behind this,” Mulder interjects.

“Dr. Vincent Bellona,” William says. “He’s at CERN now. That’s where I was working before I came here, but I think if we find where he is now we might be able to figure out what happened to me.”

“You’re working at CERN?” Byers asks. “Impressive. Must be Agent Scully’s influence.”

“Think you guys could look him up on the ‘net?” Mulder asks.

“On it,” Frohike says as he rolls a chair over to a desktop computer. “Vincent Bellona. Looks like he’s a post-doc at Princeton, specializing in high-energy physics. And—this is interesting—he’s got a hot wife who’s even more accomplished than he is.”

“Oh, let’s see the wife,” Langly says.

“Samita Shah,” Frohike reads off the computer screen. William looks and sees a photo of a younger version of Bellona (with a full-head of hair) next to a pretty South Asian woman with long, dark hair cascading over one shoulder. They’re both in lab coats. The picture is above an article titled “Quantum Leap of Love: Meet the Physics Department’s New Power Couple.” Skimming the article, he learns that Bellona and his wife came to Princeton together to research W and Z bosons, although Shah’s list of publications appears to be twice as long as her husband’s.

“Did Bellona ever mention his wife to you?” Mulder asks.

“No,” William says. “I didn’t think he had one. He doesn’t wear a ring anyway. They must not be together anymore.”

“Frohike, can you print this out?” Mulder says, then turns to William. “What do you say we pick up Scully and then go see what Bellona’s up to at Princeton?”

***

On the drive to Scully’s apartment, William sneaks glances at his father from the passenger seat. While his mom’s face has thinned out over the years, his father seems narrower in 1993, less solid. They’re both free of wrinkles and the gray hair that he knows his mom dyes to hide, and look more like his peers than his parents. He imagines how worried they must be in 2023 when they come to visit him. Hopefully, they’re able to get in touch with Hannah. He told her what he saw Dr. Bellona doing at the Shiva statue and she knows that Bellona called him in last night, so he hopes she’s making the same logical leaps.

More than anything, he wants to talk to Hannah. He knows they could figure out what’s going on. But she doesn’t exist yet. He doesn’t know if her parents have even met. If he doesn’t get back to 2023, he’ll be 30 when she’s born—if he doesn’t manage to screw up the space-time continuum so much that she’s never born at all. The thought of a world without her in it doesn’t feel worth returning to.

William’s dad knocks on the door of his mom’s apartment. She opens the door in jeans, a flannel shirt, and small, round glasses. She looks like she could’ve been in one of his classes at MIT.

“Scully, we have a lead on Dr. Bellona. He’s teaching at Princeton currently. We have to go see him.”

“Mulder, slow down,” his mom says, her face scrunched in concern. “Can we have a word alone?”

William watches as his dad follows his mom into the kitchen. Her apartment is much more familiar than his dad’s. Even though they moved out when he was a few months old, he’s seen photos of his dad holding him in front of the wood bookshelf in the living room, and one of himself as a chubby-cheeked infant with both his parents on the same sofa he sits on now.

His parents are speaking softly, but he can still hear them from where he sits.

“The preliminary DNA test results came back and they’re surprising, to say the least.” William hears his mother opening an envelope and handling papers. “They appear to confirm William’s claims.”

“Scully, you know how accurate these tests are. What’s the likelihood that we aren’t his parents with these results? Less than 10 percent?”

“Even smaller,” she says. “Mulder, this is completely impossible.”

“At this point, it’s more impossible that he’s not telling the truth. You’re a scientist. If you had to testify in court, wouldn’t you say this objectively proves we’re his parents?”

“If I didn’t know the context, sure,” she says. “But this is actually not possible. It has to be a statistical anomaly.”

“A walking, talking statistical anomaly with your eyes and my nose?”

“Mulder, it’s easy to see patterns when you’re looking for them. A lot of people have blue eyes and, well, distinguished profiles.”

“Distinguished? Thanks, Scully.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Come on Scully, talk to him. He knows things about us. I think he’s a little upset you don’t believe him. You’re his mom after all.”

He hears her sigh and then they both come back to join him in the living room.

“William,” his mom starts. She’s turned towards him but her eyes are on the envelope in her hands and not him. “According to the preliminary DNA analysis, what you’re saying is true. Agent Mulder is your father and I, somehow, am your mother. I don’t know how to explain that, but these tests are extremely unlikely to be wrong.”

“I know,” William says. “I told you I was telling the truth.”

She finally faces him and he can see the bewilderment in her eyes. He has to remind himself that this is his mother in 1993. There’s so much she has neither seen nor experienced yet. He knows about her abduction and about Emily. By the time his parents left the X-Files, her name was attached to one of the thickest files in the office, but at this moment he worries that his being here feels like a violation to her.

“It’s a lot to take in,” Mulder says, filling the silence as Scully continues to stare at William, examining him.

“Maybe if we talk to Dr. Bellona, we can find out how to get me back where I belong. I realize this must be weird for both of you.”

His mother nods sadly, looking down at her hands interlaced in front of her. “I think that would be for the best.”

He smiles with his lips tightly shut and nods in agreement, but inside his stomach churns. He wants to reach out and hug her, let her smooth his hair down with her gentle touch like she did when he was little and not feeling well. His heart aches knowing he’s little more than a stranger to her.

[androgynousblackbox]

The Horror of Our Love. 2 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

The Journal

I didn't grow up in the most ideal conditions. It got a lot better when my father died of a mysterious and very sudden heart failure that literally no one could predict. He was such an angry man. Maybe all that stress just got to him finally! I still remember the way his eyes opened up so wide while he was grabbing at his chest. He wasn't looking at me because I was behind the couch, but I could see him. I could hear him too. Hear the quick pacing of his heart as it became slower, slower and slower, until there was no beating anymore. It got so quiet all over the house for a second before he hit the floor.

That is how I found out I had magic. Unfortunately for me, my mother was a muggle and had no idea of what to do with a magical child who told her, at the tender age of 4, that he was responsible for stopping him, hoping to get praise out of it. I want to make it clear right now that it wasn't my intention to kill him. A kid that young can't understand things like life or death. They can't understand that when the heart fails and someone drops to the floor, they are never getting back up again. I just wanted him to stop. Right at the moment. In whatever way it was possible. 

It just turned out that the way to stop him resulted in his death. When mother explained it to me, that father was gone, I remember staring at her and wondering why she was so sad about it. I wasn't sad. I wasn't happy either. It just was.

It wouldn't be until much later that I find out that the magic had skipped the generation of my father and he had abandoned the entire wizard world out of pure resentment. He never even tried to tell my mom about it and instead treated her as if that was somehow her fault. Neither of us had the language for what was going on with me, but I didn't really need it that much.

A kid doesn't really need to know the name for every part of their body before they already know how to move on it. My magic was as real for me as my own fingers or my own feet, even if I couldn't see it. Even at that age I knew, it was only a matter of time and practice for me to learn to handle it just as well. Just another muscle at my disposal. 

But after it was only my mother and I didn't have much of a reason to train that muscle. Moving things around me without actually touching them was entertainment enough. We had a few good five years before a disease took her. I tried to help, but I didn't know how and doctors were constantly taking me away from her side to perform whatever is that they felt they had to do. The neighbor that was taking care of me during those weeks said that it was the lungs. Hers were not working properly anymore so it was harder to breathe. It was a lot more advanced than they thought initially. There was not a lot of hope for a recovery. I thought about the heartbeat of my father as it was slowly fading away and the idea that the heartbeat of my mother could go through the same thing was so horrific I accidentally made all the lights on the building explode. 

When they finally let me hold her hand, I concentrated so hard on trying to make her all better, all the while happily telling her about what I learned at school that day. I tried to get her breathing to become normal again. I tried to ignore my own heart beating in my ears, while I somehow kept talking. As I was doing that, a machine beeped close to her. Once again they pulled me out, but I saw her eyes closed and I panicked.

No magic that time. Just a kid scared out of his mind whose only thought was he didn't want his mother to die. I think I bit at least two nurses and kept yelling they had to let me see her, they had to, I could help, they just had to let me see her. 

The next time I saw her face, it was at the funeral her friends organized for her. No siblings, no grandfathers that could look after me. The family on the side of my father didn't even know I existed at that time. 

Of course I ended up in an orphanage, where I thought I would stay until I was old enough they would have to kick me out. I didn't want a new family. Quite frankly that wasn't ever an idea that crossed my mind. I already had the best mom this world could offer me, and I couldn't do anything to save her. Why would I want to repeat any of that ever again? It just made a lot more sense to stay where I was until something more interesting happened. 

That something came just a couple of years later in the form of a beautiful woman who came to see in my room. She wasn't one of our teachers or part of the staff. I would remember someone like her. There was no husband that I could see, so that already was new. Couples came to visit us, to try to pick us out like puppies at the pet shop, not single people.

She made a little bit of conversation first. Asking my name, what I liked to do, if I liked to be here, if I had lots of friends, before reaching to the actual important issue. I was just a few weeks away from being 11. Sera was the teacher of transformation back then. She gave my letter herself and let me read it and sat down on my bed, patiently waiting for me to start asking her questions. 

The first one I made was, naturally, when we can go. I thought it was hilarious. I didn't believe her at all at first, so I wanted to see how far she was willing to take this prank. 

When she started to make some of my belongings float around the room, I was convinced that it was strings and trickery somehow. It didn't make any sense to me that other people had the same muscle I did, that they were older, more powerful than me, and they had nothing to show for the rest of the world. That I never heard of them before, that nobody knew. The existence of the secret, that barrier between the muggle world and the wizard one, was to me a testament of how utterly useless the entire rest of the wizard world had to be. It was easier to believe I was the only one with real magic than to think that an entire civilization could be based around hiding theirs. 

She could see I wasn't taking her seriously. She pulled an apple from somewhere on her business suit and told me to eat it while thinking about my favorite food. I thought about the pasta that mom used to prepare and suddenly I had a mouthful of it when I bit into the apple. That was the thing that finally did it for me. That flavor sealed my fate. 

As she helped me out to buy all my essentials for my first year, she mentioned offhandedly that my last name was known. We were in one of the book stores and she poked with a finger a book whose author had my same last name. They had copies of that same one back at the school I was going to, if I ever was curious about it. For now, the book itself was far too advanced for my current level, and the money the school could supply for me was pretty limited, so it wasn't convenient to buy it then.

On my first night there all I could think about was that book. The topic itself could be anything, but the fact that a member of my family wrote it made all the difference in the world. I took it out of the library as soon as I knew how and read it entirely in one week, all 923 pages. I didn't understood not even a fifth of it and yet, I needed more. I started researching the author on the side, all the while learning more about how wizards worked. It wasn't until a few days later of my arrival that I found out that I was an anomaly inside of the house I landed in.

A kid raised outside of any magic or wizard culture in Slytherin? It was a struggle, I won't lie about it. So many references, jokes and little details that so many others grow up with, things I had to pretend not to care about until I could find out more about it on my own. Likewise, the things I knew were completely alien for them or made no sense. There were slip ups and mistakes, miscommunication along the way. We were from two different worlds after all, and I just find out theirs existed not that long ago. I had a lot to catch up on if I wanted to have free movement to do as I pleased.

Something all the more necessary the more research I did on this one wizard. His name carried a long history that just kept unraveling the more I pulled. Notorious wizards, but also nobodies that disappeared without a trace. Those were the ones who ended up giving more information, ironically enough. Those were the ones who thought their names alone made them somebody that the rest of the world should know. 

I don't think I exaggerate when I say that I spent the entirety of my first year, and a considerable portion of the second one, just looking further and further back in my family's history. It's funny to think about it now. If professor Sera hadn't mentioned that name to me, so many things could have been avoided entirely. I am thankful to her for doing that. She is never going to know how much.

If it wasn't for her, I would have never gone to the girl's bathroom on the top floors. I would have never looked at the serpents at the sink in the eye and ordered them to wake up. I would have never gone down that hole that opened up for me or continue down the dark corridor to that chamber. I would have never come inside, ignoring every sign of alarm that told me I should be running away from there, to find the monster that slept under the giant statue. I would have never seen those yellow eyes opened up at my intrusion and that pure white body slithering its way towards me. Only stopping from devouring me whole when I said, on his own tongue, that he was beautiful. His mouth opened wide so I could see his fangs dripping with venom. 

He immediately retracted them and looked at me, slowly lowering to see me at eye level. Completely flat on the floor as he was, I still had to raise my head to meet him. The shock was to be expected. It had been decades since the last time anyone with my former last name had come to visit him. None of them have been as young as I was.

He told me that as I came closer to inspect him, seemingly expecting something from me, but I couldn't figure out what nor I cared. There was no plan when I came to visit him. I did it anyway because I knew I could and I wanted to see him myself. It was my birthright, after all. Nobody else in that entire school could have done what I did. Nobody else deserved to look upon him like I could. Only me.

Now that I was in front of him, I barely dared to move. I patted his nuzzle, clumsily, fascinated by the sensation of his scales, and I blurted out my name. He repeated it for himself and the sound of it sent a shiver down my spine. His voice was not the voice anyone could expect coming from a monster. It was light and melodic, one made for singing and telling stories until dawn. It sounded exhausted now that he wasn't going to eat me, not even mustering the enough interest to be legitimately disappointed. I thought it was a pity that such a voice had to be concealed like this.

He finally asked what I wanted.

I looked around at his chamber, bigger than any church I went with my mom with, bigger than any other close space I had seen in my life. It was appropriate for the size this monster had. Seeing as he wasn't going to impede me, I kept exploring around. There were statues of my ancestors at the sides. Some were broken up in some parts because of the years passed, while others were just destroyed to leave behind feet on a base.

The massive head of the monster followed me. His whole body moved easily for the size it was, but there was a heaviness there that couldn't be ignored. He could crush me with his tail alone if he wanted to. Standing right at his side my head would not reach above his back. I could be just a stain under him and nobody would even know it. I made sure to close the entrance before I advanced any further. It would be so easy for him. 

"Is this where you sleep?" I asked.

"No, I was just napping" he said and I could hear his patience growing thin. 

Completely understandable, of course. There he was, a legendary beast, just lounging in his chamber when a little kid comes around and starts asking questions while not answering him. In my defense, I can at least say that I wasn't doing it out of some power play. I honestly had no answer to give except that I wanted to stay there, with him, but that didn't sound like the kind of answer that he expected to hear and I had no desire to justify myself.

"Where do you actually sleep? Can you show me?"

If a snake could only frown, I know he would have. As it was, only his voice and eyes could tell me how thoroughly confused he was at the request.

"Why?"

"I want to see."

It was a nest that was set up for him under the statue. The stairs leading up to there seemed so long back then, but it took him a second to descend there. I saw old pillows, blankets and even some pieces of clothing of past students he must have grabbed to form this. There the ceiling was oblong, making it like a curve cave where only a small portion of light came in. Even in the darkness I could see his eyes and the pearly shine of his scales, waiting for my next reaction. I had to disappoint him again by keeping asking him questions, way too many in fact for him to actually respond before I had jumped to the next. From my ancestors to how this place came to be, what did he eat, how did he move around the school, why nobody had found him yet, could he leave, what other magic he could do.

Most of it I came to find out in my next visits. I tried to come for at least a few hours everyday and every time I did he was always lifting his head, as if ready to act on a command I just never gave him. Instead I brought my books to study there and read when I finished my homework and played chess when I was bored. I didn't have to explain the rules to him. He just told me that he learned a long time ago, even before landing on this chamber, but it had been ages since he played so he was pretty rusty. That was the excuse at least. I still beat him the majority of times. It was a special kind of joy to see this huge best pout and make excuses the more I grew up, until his I am just letting you win because you are young made less and less sense.

He told me I was a weird kid. Shouldn't you be socializing with other kids your age? Here it is cold, damp and there is not a lot to do. Surely I could have better options for activities that didn't include this place. He was just a big boring monster that left to their own devices and was just going to sleep, eat and sleep again. If I wasn't going to have him attack anyone, dispose of any body or some other task, he couldn't understand why I would want to spend my time there.

His words, not mine. To me it was pretty obvious, although I still had a few years left before fully understanding it myself. As one of the easiest reasons to grab, he was a vast source of knowledge. Making homework around him was just easier when I could ask him a question about something and more often than not he was going to have an answer. Potions were the subject where I could hear his voice perking up the most. What could have taken me maybe one hour on my own was cut in half when I could simply count with his help. 

Other reasons were less simple to explain and therefore I wouldn't even try. The way it made me feel when he let me rest my back against any part of his body as he laid comfortably, either eating some prey he had captured or doing nothing. Seeing his face covered in blood for the first time raised my heart and I had the image stuck in front of my eyes for a long time. How the first time that he laughed at one of my jokes felt like an accomplishment to be proud of and then I had to wonder when was even the last time anyone had told him any joke, good or bad. How the sound of his breathing was more comforting than the fire of a chimney in winter. How when he started calling me Al instead of Alastor or kid felt good. How his eyes started to light up and relax when he saw he was me at the door. 

I just wanted to come see him. Shouldn't that be enough?

Eventually his questioning became annoying. So of course, I took it as an open invitation for me to bring a friend over so he would shut up for once about socializing with kids my age. She had been one of my friends since the first year, but I didn't think to trust her until we were in our fourth year. She always knew I was up to something, but since I let her copy all my homework and helped her out with the subjects she had trouble with, I never felt the need to question too much about it. 

While everyone else in our class was in the nearby town, we were going down the tunnel in the bathroom. 

I could see his eyes growing hungry as he came close and I immediately had to tell him that she was a dear friend that I wanted him to see. Until then, she didn't fully believe me when I told her I knew the monster that lived under the school. For some reason she thought that was a way for me to hide the fact I was meeting with some boyfriend I was hiding from her. More reason as to why she didn't want to pressure me about it in the first place. She never told me why that was ever an option in her mind, though.

In any case, once he understood that she wasn't food or an enemy, he was just stunted as to what to do now. At least with me there was an expectation, but she was just a stranger. Not that she let him dwell too much on it before she was admiring him all over, praising him for being a worthy predator that surely inspired fear in all of his victims. Could he give her some sample of his venom just in case? Maybe a portion of his skin? Anything that he could be would be amazing.

He looked at me so confused, so lost in front of her open enthusiasm, that I had to laugh. She just likes magical creatures, especially the carnivorous ones. Her own mother raised dragons so she knew all there was to know about them, how to understand them and tame them. Even how their meat tasted, because when one dragon died it would be rude to just let it go to waste when it came to such majestic beasts. In hindsight, I should have known that she was going to be delighted to meet him from the start, but didn't feel inclined to bring her over until she presented me with her own girlfriend. I guess it was just time to do it then.

As a show of good will, she had brought dead rats in her bag for him. In the case that I was lying or embellishing things for her, she was planning to give them to her cat anyway. For a snake as big as him, rats were merely snacks, like peanuts were for us, but I think he did appreciate them all the same and relaxed after that. Of course she wanted to know everything about him, just like I did when I first met him, although she was a lot more polite and graceful about it. Beast or no beast, she was being her usual charming self all the same and wasn't about to be squeamish or scandalized for anything she happened to find out about his natural instincts. 

It took her another couple of visits, but she finally convinced him to fill up a jar she was carrying with his venom. He still insisted on being extremely careful when handling it. Inside the body it was definitely lethal for humans, there was no escaping that, but the mere contact with the skin was permanently paralyzing. There was a cure that had to be applied immediately. His sincere concern moved her to promise she was going to be as careful as one could be. When he wanted to know what she wanted in the first place, my friend just smiled and assured me a girl could always need something like that.

Of course she saved the secret. I never doubted her for a second. I just knew that she was going to understand the kind of marvel that he was, how truly amazing it was that he existed at all. Now I could finally have someone else to talk about him without pretending it was something else entirely. I could use his name as much as I wanted, as long as it was the two of us, and she would give me a knowing smile as she listened to me. She even helped me out to create alibis for being at the chamber late into the night. Was I not in the communal area right after dinner? Oh, I just had to study something in the library, don't worry about it. 

When I spent my first night down there, nobody asked me anything when I came back thanks to her. To be honest, I wasn't meaning to do it. It was a cold night, but inside of his nest it was warm and he was wrapped around me in a circle. I was reading a book at the light of a lintern and he was asleep already anyway, so how could I resist such a soft reset. I woke up covered in blankets and he was nowhere to be seen, but I didn't mind. Probably hunting his own breakfast somewhere in the castle. If I had food of my own, I wouldn't have minded waiting on him. Instead, I made my way back to the surface, towards the dungeon for my house. 

My dear friend found me on the way to go out with a group of friends and excused herself to come find me, grabbing my arms as she demanded to know what happened. The urgency of her tone sounded weird to me. I had literally just fallen asleep and he didn't want to wake me up or realized it was too late to send me away so he just let me rest there. What else could have happened? 

Of course I wouldn't mind spending another night there. All the nights in that castle. But I wasn't so naive to not understand that would only give me trouble in the long run. Just a few nights, though, and as long as I was careful to not concern the classmates I shared a room with, then why not? On my next visit, I commented that to him and he stared at me like I was insane.

"Why?" was all he could say.

"Because it is warmer here than in the dungeons and I don't have to hear snoring," I replied, which wasn't a lie and wasn't the whole truth either. But he wasn't going to hear me and take that either as a good enough answer. "Is that okay?"

He tilted his head to the side and finally shook it, as if he had given up understanding what was wrong with me. Probably for the best. Apparently two rats had walked all over me while I was sleeping, but he could eat them anyway without waking me up so I don't know how that was going to make me change my mind.

"Just make sure that you don't get into trouble" was the last recommendation before he officially threw the towel. 

I knew that already and I wasn't planning to risk it either. No because I was particularly fond of the rules, but if they ended up punishing me or expelling me then that meant little to no time to do the things that I actually wanted to do.  

In my fifth year at Hogwarts, there was a ballroom organized to celebrate the thousand year anniversary since the school's foundation. I hope I didn't give you the impression that I was antisocial, dear reader, far from it. I am just selective when it comes to the amount of people I decide to spend my time with and the amount of information I give them. I still enjoy the occasional outing just like any other kid of my age.

It wasn't enough for him, though. When I told him about the whole ballroom and how I was planning to just spend the night there, since everyone would be busy with their own celebration, he was indignant. I already made little sense for him, but for some reason this choice he found utterly worth arguing about. A kid like you, come on, surely you have more than plenty of admirers or someone that catches your eye. Are you actually telling me that all this time you were never interested in anyone? Not even once? There was no one that occupied your thoughts, you doodle their name along with you, imagine the two of you together, just enjoying each other's company? You are so young. You have no idea that you are never getting these years back so you should take advantage of them. Even if it's just fun. Make mistakes if you want to make them. This place was not made for a kid like you to have a normal joyful life. 

You should want to be away from here as much as possible. And yet you aren't. That was basically the gist of all of his protests. I cared very little for them, of course, but the nagging idea that he was the one who didn't want me there kept pestering me. In the end it made sense. Whereas my dear friend had brought snacks and sometimes I brought whatever dead animals I could catch to him, as said before, those were still merely snacks, small bites for him. They were ever going to fulfill him or give him more of a solid reason to at least stop trying to kick me out.

So I gave him to eat the janitor. That man made it so easy too.

The night of the ballroom, the date I had chosen to go with me unfortunately had a little stomach ache that terminated our night earlier than everyone else. It was almost like someone had slipped a little bit of something on their drink when they weren't looking. But not to worry too much, the effect only lasted until the next morning when the body would naturally take care of it. Nothing too serious either, just enough of an inconvenience to rather go to bed to rest than to keep dancing. They have never done me any wrong, after all.

As I made my way to the bathroom and pretended I was just walking around until it was empty, I didn't bother to be as discreet as usual. I could hear his steps down the hallways, waiting to see what I was doing. He already had his sights on me for some time because of all my sneaking around. He could never catch me in the act of doing anything wrong, but tonight he was finally going to have something. I like to think that he died at least with that satisfaction to console him.

I barely had to do anything for him to follow behind. When the bathroom was empty, when I started descending the tunnel, I was concerned about him going directly to any of the professors or the headmaster herself to inform them of what happened. Luckily for me, acting as if I had something in my pockets must have made him think that time was of the essence, so he didn't waste any on trying to find out what I was up to. 

Before I opened up the chamber, I paralyzed him. Then it was only a matter of bringing him floating inside. The giant snake came out slithering from the space under the big statue, directly from his nest, towards myself. I could tell that he was first confused, about to question why I wasn't at the party, until he noticed the present I had.

"What is that?"

"Your dinner. Unless you already had something."

"That is not funny, Alastor."

"Who is joking?" I dropped the janitor, still stiff as a wooden plank, down on the floor. My friend kept staring as if he didn't understand what I was doing. "He steals from the students, did you know? Goes through their mail, eats whatever concerned parents send to their kids. If he could get away with it, he would love to lash out with a whip, isn't that right?" I asked the man that couldn't respond to me or anyone for that matter. "He tells that all the time at least. About how that is supposed to build some discipline. There is always a first year that cries because of him. He won't be missed."

"Is that what you want?" he asked me.

I had again the sensation he was waiting for something of me. At the same time his tone of voice was just as confusing as it was filled with uncertainty. Why was he hesitating? Shouldn't he be glad I brought him food at last? He had been ready to devour my friend, how was this that different?

"He saw me come in" I said as my response. "He saw you already. He is listening right now, even if he can't understand a word, and I can't do obliviate spells yet. What do you think he is going to do if I just let him come back now?"

He still looked at me a while longer as he slithered across the floor until he was on top of the janitor. His yellow eyes stared at the man with an expression I couldn't read. Then he opened up his mouth. I barely managed to see a glimpse of his fangs before he had buried them in the middle of the janitor. It all happened so fast that I almost dropped my wand. 

He didn't lie about the effect of his venom. There was no reason for him to do it anyway, but I guess it takes an actual demonstration to really believe something that effective, that quick, can actually exist. I could see very clearly the moment in which the eyes of the man lost all focus, when the lights turned off, before I read a squishing ripping sound as he closed his jaw, taking with him the stomach and probably a good portion of his intestines with him. Even after death, the blood was pouring out everywhere. The smell was almost as overwhelming as the vision when he started to devour the rest, taking chunks and bites, swallowing limbs full. On more than one occasion I could feel his gaze over me, but I was too fascinated to move, to even speak.

By the time there was only a few stains of red in the stone floor, my legs were trembling and had to hold on to a nearby pillar. Slowly, he made his way towards me. I don't know what kind of reaction he was looking, maybe disgust or regret or maybe just laughter, but when instead I reached out arms open to hug my muzzle and lick the blood off his face I could feel his massive body flinching at once as if my tongue was an ax going for his throat. I didn't care that I was ruining the suit I had managed to rent for the party. 

I just knew I needed to be close, closer than I was before. It was a compulsion without any other thought behind, no reason that I could use to justify it not even to myself. When my tongue reached for the corners of his mouth, he suddenly reacted pulling back and I stumbled without my support, leaving me cold and dumbfounded. He was staring at me carefully for what seemed like a long moment until he spoke again.

"Go clean yourself" was all he said before he disappeared in one of the many tunnels around the chamber, all connected to the different pipes around the school that allowed him to move freely and undetected.

I licked my own lips, but it didn't taste the same as it did before, when it was on top of his skin. From that day on, he spoke to me more about his past. He had dropped some comments here and there throughout the years, but now it was finally painting a complete image of who he was. He didn't tell me all in one setting, there was usually some point in which he just couldn't continue anymore before he had to change the topic, but eventually I got it all.

He was not always a beast. Many, many, many years ago, when this school was still new, his father saw him communing with muggles in the nearby town to spread magical solutions to their problem. Diseases that otherwise would have killed them were eradicated, injuries that should have been fatal were cured in the blink of an eye, missing children were found, the harvest were a success and food was plentiful. Muggles first took him as a miracle worker, an angel sent by god from Heaven, and one day the narrative changed into that of a devil using temptation to take them to the wrong path. 

They followed him back home and retaliated against the smaller wizard population that they found. The news had spread even beyond that zone, so just erasing those memories of this group was not an option anymore. There was no other choice but to flee that place, leaving behind houses and the belongings they couldn't bring with them being reduced to ashes if not completely destroyed.

The wizards were angry, but none worse than the one that was supposed to be his father. He cursed him to that form and locked him up in the chamber to forever be the secret passed down from generation to generation, unable to live by the same magic. From my ancestors, that now I understood were also his, to my own eyes. 

Until I got there, being used as a weapon was all he knew. Less than a pet, just an object to be used and forgotten past graduation, like a little entertainment toy. Taking out whatever enemy, friend or annoyance out of the way the other wizards put in front of him. His venom was freely taken as many times they wanted to for whatever purposes they wanted to. Some are more adamant than others. Some are nastier than others. Now I understood why there were statues broken off while others got to pass the test of time. It wasn't that they were just old as I had assumed, it was that he couldn't even resist looking at them.

All of that was already a lot to take in, but that wasn't the part that most stood out for me. If nothing else, it finally made sense why he was so weirded out by my simple presence without ordering him around, by me wanting to spend time here with him without the need for carnage. No, the part that shook me was another one, the last piece of information he was willing to give me, the one he wanted to think about the least.

He never told his father that he had a muggle wife and a child on the way. In a way it was a good thing because he could hold on to the idea they both got to have a good life among their own, without having not even a clue of the indignity he has been subjected to. At the same time, that also meant that he could never contact them or even know about their fate. 

The first wizard that came after his father was the children of one of his many brothers. The base of that one had been lost a long time ago after he had knocked the rest of the statue. I didn't ask, and he didn't tell, but the hatred in his voice spoke volumes of what impression that one had left him with. I hated him too, without knowing his name, face or what he had done, simply because he dared to treat him with anything less than respect. But even that paled in comparison with the rage that the man who put him here in the first place inspired me. It seemed that the bad father portion was a curse we both shared.

When it came to his own family, the one he lost contact with, though, his voice turned quiet and his phrases short, as if talking anything more than that was still too painful, even after all these years. 

I don't really know why he felt the need to tell me any of that. Maybe he thought that would make me want to stop visiting so much? That whatever I had started already was going to stop because some bastard in my lineage was the bastard that also made him? If any of that was his intention, then I am afraid none of that came true. If anything, it has given me the next purpose for the rest of my years.

I always was planning to keep close for as long as I could. But after hearing about his background, I had a new purpose to dedicate myself to it and told him as such as soon the idea became clear in my mind. Someday I was going to break his curse and we both would get out of this castle together.

Which finally brings us to the reason why I am here speaking to you like this, dear journal. You see, breaking a curse as old as this one requires time, lots of study, trial and error. Wizards might live long, but we aren't immortal. 

I didn't care about living forever exactly, but I need as much time as I can gather and as long as I exist here then that is a little more time than another part of me had yesterday. In my own readings I had found out a little about this method to save someone's soul into an object. As long as the soul is attached to this plane, the wizard can't truly die. How many years would that give me? How many opportunities to try on?

At first he didn't believe me when I told him my plan. Why would he? As far he was concerned, I was still just the same kid that kept bothering him almost everyday and brought him food one time. I was only 16 after all. I could still change my mind. I could still meet a wizard or witch that would make life outside of this castle more interesting and worth living, or just get bored of him. He told me as such multiple times and at first I would feel the need to protest, to insist this is what I wanted, but that got tiresome and we never agreed so dropped it. If he wasn't going to believe my word, then I had no other choice but to make him believe with my actions.

My first actual kill was actually in part thanks to my dear friend. She loved to learn about magical creatures, but absolutely despised the professor for that subject. A brute that has no real love for any of the creatures he brought for class, just a sick need to show off his domination skills over them. He had beaten some of those poor creatures in front of them, insisting that was the only way that they were ever going to listen. When I told her about this, she didn't think for a second that I was joking and I adored her for it. Her smile was too precious as she told me to please bring her back one of his fingers to feed her cat with.

A precious gem she was. If it wasn't because of him, I might have been happy just living around her, causing who knows what kind of disasters and problems for everyone around us. As things turned out to be, I had decided on a different path for myself.

Bringing him down with me was so easy. I just had to tell him the truth, that there was a giant snake under the school, but I was too afraid to enter on my own and needed his assistance to decide what to do. Luckily for me, he was an idiot and so he didn't think to contact the headmaster first or any other of the professors. Probably he thought he alone was going to be enough to tame him and then he could get all praise for it. Just as much of an idiot as my dear lady friend had warned me about already.

When I paralyzed him, I presented his body once again but made a gesture to stop the massive fangs coming for him. He had already given me the sight of one of his kills. It was only fair that I gave him the sight of my first real one. Not the product of fear and desperation, but an actual conscious elimination of someone's life because they had already proven that they weren't fit for it. 

You can't just say the words and point with a wand. For this curse you have to actually know what you are doing, to want it, to not have a single doubt in your mind. To me it came as easy as breathing and the next second, that professor that no one was going to particularly miss was gone forever. 

That is how I came to be here. For this to work you have to take a life each time. I was willing to pay that price as many times as it was required if that meant helping him.

Lucifer, I did it for you. All of this is going to be for you. When I was looking into how to do it I finally understood the words I needed to make sense of it, but I didn't get to tell you. I hope I did it after the deed is done. I don't know. I can only be aware of everything that happened up to that point. I can at least tell you here.

I love you, Lucifer. I think I did the moment I saw you, but then you had to make it worse by actually welcoming me here. By letting me hear your voice and your laugh and letting me stay, I had no other option left. I was doomed the moment you did that because you couldn't bring yourself to kick me out. In a way, this is all your fault too. 

I am not complaining though. We can both share these blood stained hands, even if you don't have any. I know you aren't squeamish already. 

I have never felt more sure about something before. I want to live outside of those walls with you, for as long it's humanly possible and even after that. I won't let death separate us as long as there is a shred of me somewhere with any conscious left. I will find you and take you out of your prison no matter what.

This is my promise, my darling. 

[suzyandthefox]

Of Smoke And Shadows: Chapter 1

We start our journey with one sad vampire and an even sadder little borrower.

No beta we die like men

Tag list: Ask to be added.

This story will be posted under #Of Smoke And Shadows

And under #OSAS

Intro post

Detective Lumen.

Snow, This is the first time I have seen snow since I can remember.

There's something about it that reminds me of when I was young and innocent, of days that passed long ago.

It gives me a bittersweet feeling, a certain warmth in my heart. I still miss those days, but it is no use lingering in the past.

I light a cigarette and take a deep breath as I stare into space. Even though the cigarette does nothing, the warmth and the bitter taste give a semblance of life to my cold body.

My brother always complains about how nicotine is deadly and that I'm risking my health, he keeps mentioning how people die because of it. And I always remind him that we aren't people.

Standing in the alleyway, I let myself get lost in my thoughts as I watched everything around me get coated in snow, like a mountain of powdered sugar, or a soft white blanket.

Then, I feel a presence, and I hear a voice, I was not alone.

"M..Mister? Mister?"

I immediately look around me, searching for whoever was around here and just spoke up, until I realize...

It was down... Down... At my foot.

Wait... What?

I squint and rub my eyes, for I could see a little brown blob tugging at my coat.

No, it wasn't a brown blob, it was a little... Person? Girl? A little girl, only about three inches tall!

The poor wee thing was looking at me in both fear and desperation, shivering in the cold, it pained me to see her like this.

She was a creature called a "borrower", a small person that lives in house walls and makes a living out of unwanted, forgotten things, hence the "borrower".

I have never got to see one as close as this, they are usually shy creatures that won't reveal themselves to a human, let alone a monster like me.

I figured that the poor dear was in a dire situation, and she reached out to me to help her.

Alas, I will try my best.

I think of where to take her, of course! Arsen would love to see her, he always wanted to see a borrower from a close distance.

So I reach out to take her into my gloved hand, And no sooner than when she was in my hand that she awoke from whatever daze froze her.

She immediately leaped from my palm and she was free-falling.

"Fuck!" I exclaim as I catch the rather reckless bundle in my hands and quickly tuck her into my shirt pocket, and I'm filled with guilt as I hear her weak, soft voice begging me to let go.

"Shhh, It's okay, it's okay," I whisper to the little one as I pat my pocket, feeling her curling into a small ball.

"Sleep now, I won't hurt you, just going to take you somewhere safe."

A few moments pass, and I only hear her breathing, so I assume that she is asleep.

I take another breath of my cigarette, then I realize that my supervisor will be upset about my slacking, as she only allowed me a five-minute break.

When I walked back to her office, she looked quite upset at me.

"Lumen! You are late! And that cigarette is still burni_"

"Shh_"

She is too loud. I raise my finger over my lips as a gesture for her to be quiet, then I decide to show her what made me late.

As I reach into my pocket, the little blonde woman eyed me with a skeptical look. I take out the borrower, and I carefully laid her in my hand, noticing how serene she was in her sleep.

Now that she is close and still, I take a good look at her.

She is a small girl, with a huge cloud of curly brown hair that falls behind her back and on her shoulders. Her freckles spread all over her face and arms like cinnamon, especially on her plump cheeks and little button nose, I can notice how pallid her face was, how she was covered in dust, perhaps it's a good thing that I found her.

Charlotte stares at me, then at the little girl in my palm, I see a smile forming on her face as she coos softly.

"Aww, Gosh! What a cutie! What a little darling!"

The way she gushed over the borrower was getting on my nerves. Humans tend to overreact to things, and it makes me nervous.

"And what are you doing with her?" She asked.

"I'm taking her to Arsen, He will know_"

"Don't! He will hurt the poor baby! He can't be trusted_"

"I was informing you, not asking for your opinion."

I tell her in a firmer tone. It looks like I went too far, as she was taken aback by that.

Then I see that look in her blue eyes, that dreaded look, and I thought we were getting somewhere.

Guess we were never there, to begin with.

"L..looks like it's the end of your shift! You are dismissed, Lumen."

I heard a soft murmur and felt the subtle movements in my hand.

Right, the borrower.

I slip the small borrower I nearly forgot about back into my pocket, and I turn back to the exit.

I take one last breath from the cigarette I held, then I throw it and crush it under my foot, Charlotte doesn't deserve a clean office.

====

I'm back at my apartment's door, my safe and familiar apartment.

I knock on the door, and the raspy voice of Arsen answers me.

"Who the fuck is it?"

"Who would it be?" I replied.

"I don't know, The fucking police? a fairy who managed to get my name? A loan shark I didn't know I was indebted to? "

"It's the police then."

I say as I put my keys in the lock and turn it.

Arsen is jumpy and anxious, the last thing I want is for him to shoot me, it will be very inconvenient to have a bullet in my head right now.

I look at my brother and I remember why he doesn't go out of the apartment, he was even more inhumane than I am, with skin as dark as night, sunken eyes, sallow cheeks, crooked long ears, and sharp crooked teeth. Arsen is described by some as a "Tall goblin", and with his strange posture and alert looks, he wasn't different from one.

He stood at seven feet tall, although he was always hunched so he always looked a foot shorter, he was wearing a bright white lab coat atop his equally colored suit. The colors contrasted with his skin and matched his eye color.

The place was as organized as always, although Arsen did not believe in a god, there were crosses and other religious symbols everywhere. I always thought this was kind of strange, but Arsen insisted that "spirituality wards off the supernatural, and it does not contradict with science nor what he believes."

"I have something for you," I tell him.

"What is it?"

After washing my hands, I

reach into my pocket to take out the small girl, to which Arsen's eyes widened.

"Put it in this cage! Quickly! And change your clothes and wash your hands! Who knows where you found it and what sort of diseases it carries!"

I nod to him and go to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

It all went down so quickly, one minute I was putting on a shirt and the next I hear Arsen coughing his lungs out.

And as fast as I could, I run to the kitchen and I open a cabinet that I mentally marked, taking out an inhaler.

Helping my brother to sit down, I put the inhaler in his mouth and aided him as he took a puff, then another.

For a few minutes, he was breathing and slowly inhaling, as I tried my best to calm him down.

"It's alright, Arsen, you are still here, nothing happened, you are safe with me."

"I'm here for you, I did not forget."

Over and over, I stayed nearby and spoke as quietly and as gently as I could muster, until Arsen could feel that he can breathe again, there is no wheezing in his voice, and the air was entering his lungs normally.

"I took my medicine, this wasn't meant to happen!" He panicked, shivering like a frail leaf in the winds of October in my arms.

"You did, Arsen, you never forgot" I reassure him.

"Then why did i"_

"The windows are closed, the apartment is clean, I showered and changed my clothing, my shoes are outside the door, you did everything correctly and I did too." I try to reassure him, again.

"I must have forgotten something! You must have done something! It could have been the door or_"

I present him with his own notebook, where his checklist was completed, I also point at the door, which I made sure was closed tightly.

"It doesn't have to be for a reason, You have frail lungs, that isn't your fault."

"Not everything has to be for a reason."

I look at the small girl in the cage, she was watching all of this with wary curiosity.

"What are you going to do about her?" I ask him.

"You do, I must recheck if I missed something."

I nod, and I take the nearest chair, I pull it and sit next to the glass cage, And I see a book that s open wide next to it, Arsen must have been studying her.

I get closer to her and I notice her eyes, she had big, chocolate-brown eyes that were staring up at me in both awe and fear. Humans already tower over her like skyscrapers, I can't imagine how I look to her.

I sigh and lower my voice.

"It's time we have a talk."

[frickingnerd]

reunion at dawn

pairing: dedue molinaro x fem!reader

summary: dedue has been looking for you ever since the war started. five years later he finds you, but you're not alone...

tags: reader has a child (with dedue), angst to wholesome fluff, happy ending, supportive!dimitri, disowned noble!reader

dedue had thought he would never see you again. it's been five years since the two of you were last together in the monastery. back then you had just confessed your feelings to him, before the war broke out. he still remembered that last night he spent with you, how close the two of you had been. and then war split the two of you apart. until today. 

dedue had found his way back to his former classmates and now that he was by dimitri's side again, the two of them were looking for you. they could really use your help winning the war, sure. but dedue honestly just wanted to see you again. he needed to know you were doing okay. 

it had been so long since you two last saw each other. he wondered if you would even recognize him. if you maybe still felt the same about him. or if you had moved on since your last time together…

dedue and dimitri had followed rumors about you, that led them to a small cottage in the woods, just a bit outside of town. dedue first thought those rumors had to be wrong. after all, you were a noble! you had always lived in large mansions with servants attending your every need. and yet, here you were, inside a small cabin. all alone. well, not quite. 

"dedue…?"

you looked at the large man standing in front of your door. next to him was the prince of the holy kingdom of farghus, who was presumed to be dead. neither of them should be here and yet they were. and somehow they had found you. 

"w-what…? how are you–"

you just stared at dedue, barely even looking at dimitri. after all, dedue was the man you loved. and the reason you had lost everything…

"mommy…?"

dedue's eyes widened as he heard a child's voice from inside. even dimitri looked shocked, turning his head towards his friend.

you hurried back inside, leaving the door open behind you. the two men didn't hesitate and followed you inside, where they saw the child that had been calling out to you. you had picked up the small boy, holding him in your arms. and he looked just like him.

judging by the look of it, that child must be around four years old. plus the nine months it took before he came to this world… dedue quickly put two and two together. this was his child! it had to be! the small boy looked just like him…

"i didn't know…"

he tried to speak up, but you softly shook your head and stopped him.

"didn't know i was pregnant? well, i didn't know you were alive until now, so that makes us even…"

dimitri, who had been quiet since arriving here, finally spoke up.

"that's why you weren't with your family anymore, right? they wouldn't accept a child from a man of duscur…"

dedue's eyes widened. was he telling the truth? had your family disowned you because of him? because of his child?

"they made me choose. my son or the rest of my family. i made my decision… and i would chose him again and again!"

the child on your arm smiled innocently. he probably didn't quite understand the gravity of the situation, just excited to meet some new people after living isolated for so long. you carefully let him down again, before bending down and smiling.

"how about you show our new friend around the house a little?"

you pointed towards dimitri, who quickly got the message. you probably didn't want your son to hear more about his past than necessary. not when he was still so young.

dimitri took the child's hand, heading into another room and leaving you alone with dedue. once it was just the two of you, dedue carefully approached you. he was overwhelmed by the situation, worried he would say the wrong thing. still, he had to say something! this was his child after all…

"i… i'm so sorry"

dedue took both of your hands, gently holding them between his own.

"i'm sorry for not being here. for leaving you alone with your…our child!"

"you didn't do it on purpose, dedue. it was the war that made us part ways. i know you would've stayed by my side if it had been different"

you had become so mature since the last time the two of you had met. you were shouldering all of those responsibilities all by yourself. dedue admired you for this, but he wished things could've been different. you deserved to live a peaceful life for a little longer.

"i'm never going to leave your side again!"

dedue swore, a serious expression resting on his face.

"from now on, you won't have to do this alone anymore. i'll make up for all the time we lost. i'll take care of our child, i'll talk to your family and convince them to take you back! and i'll win this war for you. once i did this, you can finally live the peaceful life you deserve, my love…"

[laliamluv]

Lost and Found

A Welcome Home Fanfic series!! Part 1

Warning : profanities

My phone rang, giving me the signal that my friends are here. I walked down the stairs to head out but my dad went in front of me.

 ❝ And where are you going young lady? ❞ My dad asks me while he crosses his hands on his chest.   ❝ I’m gonna hang out with my friends, dad.❞ before he could even ask I quickly answered  ❝ And mom already knows, and she allowed me to.❞ and with that he patted my head and told me to take care before going back to the living room.

I close the front door and pull out my phone, texting my friends on where they are already.

 ❝ Boo. ❞ I flinch in shock and slap Vinly’s back.

 ❝ Ow.. that hurts you know? ❞ Vinly rubs her back while Allan rolls his eyes at her.

We talk while walking to Nelson’s house to pick him up.

❝ We’re here! Nel! Come on out dude! ❞ Vinly shouted as she ran towards Nelson’s door and knocked on it. ❝ Calm down, I’m here already alright? ❞ Nelson says as he pushes Vinly’s face to the side.

❝ So where we headin’ to? ❞ Nelson aks Allan while me and Vinly walk in front of them.

❝ Do ya’ll remember that old building we passed through before?? ❞, while me and Nelson nodded our heads, Vinly looked at him with suspicion before opening her mouth to speak.

❝ Don’t tell me we’ll go inside that place… ❞

When Allan just smiled, Nelson shook his head. ❝ And how do you plan to go inside? Glass breaking? Even if it’s abandoned it’s still trespassing Al. ❞ With this Allan’s smile dropped.

❝ We’re dumpster diving, kinda… ❞ He says while he scratches his neck. Vinly just looked at him with disgust while Nelson sighs in disappointment.

❝ How ‘bout we just hunt the inside? That seems better than dumpster diving right? ❞ Nelson states. 

I look at him with wide eyes, ❝ And what if it turns out like that poppy playtime stuff? ❞ I ask while waving my hands around.

He pats my head and tells me ‘it’ll be fine’ and 'it's just a game’, with no other choice I sigh in disappointment and just agree with them. ❝ Off to the building we go! ❞ Vinly states as we walk to our destination.

◤──•~❉᯽❉~•──◥

❝ Shit, door’s locked. ❞ Allan says while trying to open the buildings doors. ❝ The windows are stuck over here. ❞ Nelson says.

❝ Any luck with you guys? Y/N? Vinly? ❞

Vinly and I went to where they are and shook our heads. ❝ Should we use a hairp–. ❞ before Allan can even finish his question. I accidentally broke the lock when my backpack hit it.

He looked at me with a large grin, ❝ Never have I ever loved your backpack so much Y/N. ❞ I slapped his arm and we went inside.

❝ dude… look at all these drawings! They’re so pretty… ❞ Vinly says as she picks up some of them. 

While me and Vinly look at some of the drawings, Allan and Nelson went to another room. ❝ Y/N look how cute the pink one is!! ❞ she squeals while showing a kind of ripped drawing that had a pink monster girl on it and some others too.

❝ Yeah and the hair looks fluffy… oh! and this dude looks like a hugger, and this one too… ❞ I said while pointing on a green dude with two pairs of arm and legs, and a blue’s clues looking dog with some rainbows on him.

We continued to look at other drawings, until I found a drawing of a yellow dude with blue hair.

❛ Why do I feel like someone’s staring at me… ❜ I felt shivers running down my spine but I brush it off, thinking it’s just Nelson or Allan about to scare me from behind.

I look back at the drawing and the uneasiness comes back. I put the drawing down and took deep breaths. ❛ calm down, stop imagining things. ❜

❝ Y/N? Are you alright? ❞ Vinly asks me as she caresses my back. I nodded my head at her and gave her a ‘thank you’.

Everything was quiet as we continued digging through the building, Allan and Nelson are also back with us. They for some reason found absolutely nothing great in the other room except for files and other files. 

Few moments later Allan spoke up, ❝ Hey, we should probably get going. It’s past 5pm already. ❞ We agreed and took our things to get ready to leave when suddenly a phone rang.

We looked around and saw an old red phone, ringing. ❝ What the fuck… ❞ Allan mutters out, while Nelson grabs his flashlight to get a better look at it.

❝ Uhm… guys?.. ❞ Vinly looked to us at fear before pointing at the telephone’s plug. ❝ What the… It’s not… then how? ❞ I felt as if all the words were stuck in my throat.

Nelson backed away from the phone but tripped on something.

❝ A tape? ❞slowly he picked it up and looked if it’s broken when he found it isn’t he passed it to me before telling us to head out. 

I didn’t like the idea of me holding the tape but I continued to do so and pushed the idea out of my head and so I took my backpack, but before I could even put the tape on my backpack, a wave of nausea hit me. I can barely hear Nelson but I knew from his tone that he was panicking.

❝ Y/N? Guys! hel.. You… alri..t.. Wh…t..Gu..uck!.. ❞ 

❝ Ne…calm…n..k! ❞ 

❝ Wh…k..G– ❞

And with that, my eyes closed and I was met with darkness.

And I still felt eyes on me.

[narrans]

A Tall and Small Collection | S2.44 | & Everyone Needs A Little Hero :: Crossover :: True Colors Revealed pt. 3

It was such a strange sensation. Usually, a human’s room felt immense. The furniture towered above and the wall on the opposite end of the room felt like an impossible distance to cross without being seen. Rooms were usually quiet and rarely were two or three Borrowers in a room at once.

Not now.

Everyone was here. Everyone was out in the open because there wasn’t enough furniture to hide under. The vastness of the room felt lost to how many Borrowers were there. The silence that would usually mask their movements was filled with their worried whispers.

So much had happened all at once, and every mind was reeling with possibilities.

When would the mist dissipate?

Should they leave? Migrate to somewhere new?

Should they all stay together? Or was it time to say good-bye to long term friends and family?

What were they going to do next?

The Rafters family went from family to family to make sure everyone was recovering well. Though some were still coughing and wheezing, the whole community was relieved to hear that everyone had managed to make it out of the walls.

Still, it was Hero who led the charge in reassuring everyone – especially when it came to their questions about the human of the house. Hero made sure that everyone knew that Ashlynn was not going to bother them and that she was honest and kind. He said if they asked, she wouldn’t come into the room.

Knowing a human was just on the other side of the door was a terror everyone was uncomfortable with, but there was no alternative. Many of them had no previsions or supplies, not even a weapon on their hip.

Truly, this was their worst nightmare.

Every few minutes, they would hear Ashlynn walking around or a creak of the floorboards in the apartment above, which would instantly silence the community. They would stay quiet before resuming their hushed whispers, discussing what they should do next.

Then, after a few tense hours, Rey, Soren, Dorian, and even little Mayzie slipped under the door with blankets and a few limited supplies. Mostly, they came to take stock to see what everyone needed.

At first, some of the Borrowers shied away from the family of four who had made their home with Ashlynn. They knew about Hero Rafters interaction with Ashlynn, but the concept of these Borrowers living peacefully with a human seemed unthinkable.

It wasn’t until Soren and his brothers had told their story about meeting Ashlynn and how long they had known her that it began to sink into the Borrower community.

Ashlynn was a friend, and she had been a friend for many years.

The young girl about Rey’s age who was trapped in Austin’s fan stared at Rey, eyes wide, as he told the story to them. The children were thankfully asleep, but Emile, his wife, Kit, Lian, and the teenage Borrower were all fixated on Rey’s story. None of them were able to tear their eyes away from the young teen as he finished explaining his past for the umpteenth time.

“So,” said Kit. “She pulled you out of the trash and brought you back? All without hurting you?” Rey nodded and tugged a grin onto his face. He didn’t mind explaining his past, but holy smokes it was taking a long time. He wanted a way to do it all at once, but that would involve Ashlynn’s assistance, and these Borrowers were obviously not ready for it.

“That’s right,” Rey stated. “Ashlynn has always been very careful around us. It’s one of the reasons Soren trusted her to save me and why he felt comfortable letting us stay there with her while we all recovered. Remember, we could have left at any point. Ashlynn made sure we knew that. She even kept our beds on the ground under her bedframe, that one right over there, so we could be hidden.

“Ashlynn is our friend, and I swear she won’t do anything to hurt us. She’s doing everything she can right now to make sure we’re okay and that you’ll all have what you need before the end of the night,” said Rey.

“H-h-how c-can you t-trust her? Af-after w-w-what you’ve seen h-hu-mans are capable of?” asked Emile, which earned a nod from Lian. “H-how do you know she… she w-won’t turn on you?”

“It’s because I’ve known her for so long. If she was going to keep us as pets or try to hurt us in any capacity, she wouldn’t have waited eight years to do so. She would’ve done it when we were all helpless,” said Rey firmly. “Look, I get where you’re coming from and I’m not asking for you to blindly trust her. I’m asking for you to take a second and give Ashlynn a chance. I know it feels like an impossible ask, especially after what you all went through, but I promise she’ll protect you.”

The group, and the nearby groups who were nearby pretending to not listen, all quieted and looked to one another before looking back to Rey.

“It’s a big ask, Rey,” said Lian, his eyes shadowed with memories and torment. “If we all pull out of this okay and Austin pays for what he’s done to us, she’ll be okay to me.”

Rey nodded, features hardening.

“Oh, he’ll pay. I don’t know how yet, but he will,” stated the teenage Borrower. “Until then, is there anything I can get you to make you comfortable?”

Rey finished taking notes on what the others needed and wanted before standing and promising he would be back with everything they asked for. Just before he turned to leave, the young teenage girl reached up and caught Rey’s hand, clasping it tightly and looking up into his pale blue eyes.

“Larkspur,” she said softly. Rey felt his head tilt to the side in confusion.

“What now? Is that something you need?” he asked. The girl glanced away as she held onto Rey’s hand while her other hand reached up and clasped the neckline of her frayed shirt.

“My… name. You said that you wanted it if we made it out,” stated the girl. That was right! Rey did want to know her name after hearing her say something about leaving her behind because she would be a burden. Rey felt a pang in his heart as he crouched, still clutching Larkspur’s hand, and reached over and tenderly coaxed her to look at him again.

“I did want to know it, and it’s very pretty. Thank you, Larkspur,” smiled Rey. The girl’s eyes widened, and her cheeks were suddenly flushed as she locked eyes with Rey. Something made the young teens insides flip, but he couldn’t think about that now.

He smiled again, stood, and headed back toward the main door, promising he would be back soon.

~~~^*^*^~~~

This was insane. This whole thing was crazy. Ashlynn tried to work in the kitchen as quickly and as quietly as she could, but the slightest sound made her wince. The clatter of a spoon against the counter. The floor squeaking right where the tile met the wood. The fridge door sealing shut.

Every minute sound felt amplified beyond the norm, all because of Ashlynn’s house guests.

She wasn’t sure what it looked like in the other room, but her imagination filled her bedroom with Borrowers lined from wall to wall, huddled under furniture and trying to keep quiet.

The fear, even from here, was tangible. It was a terrible set of circumstances, and Ashlynn had taken the plunge right in the middle of it. From what Rey had described, Austin had spread some kind of knock out gas in the main elevator shaft and the walls. She was immensely grateful she had closed the vents to her room before everything started happening.

Now, everyone was exposed – out in the open – in her room, obviously hanging onto a single threat of trust that they gave her.

Ashlynn needed to make the most of it.

She needed to find some way to help calm them all down, and she knew just the Borrowers to talk to.

When Rey, Dorian, and Soren came back with their list of various supplies, she sprung into action. A lot of these things were simple enough to obtain, and most were meant to provide protection. Thumb tacks. Safety pins. Thread. Paper clips. Cloth fragments. Cotton balls.

Most importantly – food and water.

So, that’s what Ashlynn worked on.

With the supplies she had, she started making some very simple vegetable and noodle soup with little fragments of chicken. She took the time to make sure everything was mulched up into bite-sized pieces. She also broke up cracker fragments and put them into a bowl to accompany the nutrient rich broth.

While she worked, the boys brought back fragments of aluminum foil for everyone to make their own bowls and utensils. There were no complaints from the families as they accepted generous portions of the foil from Soren and his brothers.

When it came time to distribute the food, Ashlynn placed portions into a few larger bowls and cups and, with permission and plenty of warning, opened the door with the tiniest of cracks and retreated back to the kitchen so Soren, his brothers, and the Rafters could distribute the supplies.

Like an assembly line, everyone tiptoed toward the door and accepted the food and supplies without issue.

As everyone went through the line, the Rafters took note of who was and was not there.

By some miracle, everyone had managed to make it out of the walls. From old to young and those living near and far in the building, everyone had managed to make it out safely. Still, it didn’t stop the fact that evidence of their entire community was still in the walls.

“What matters is that we all managed to make it out alive,” said Soren as he walked back with Casper after dragging some soft washcloths under the bed to serve as bedrolls for a few of the younger families. Casper nodded heavily, but it was apparent to Soren that the middle-aged father did not quite believe him.

Soren understood the feeling. He knew the other families’ terror of having their whole world exposed because he had gone through it once before when he met Ashlynn. He remembered clear as day how terrifying it was to surrender his security and the safety of his family to someone he barely knew or trusted. That feeling of helplessness in the room now was tangible, and he wished he could do something to help.

What was different now was that he knew Ashlynn was on his side.

Soren’s thoughts came to a screeching halt when Casper laid a hand on his shoulder, clasping it firmly. Soren felt the weight of the world in Casper’s hand as he tightened his grip ever so slightly. The middle-aged Borrower’s tired eyes latched onto Soren’s gaze before he spoke.

“Soren, do… you think Ashlynn would do us one last favor?” asked Casper. Soren, taken a back, simply nodded.

“I’m sure she would. What is it?” Soren asked, trying to smile reassuringly to help the father of five.

“No, I… I’ll…” Casper swallowed dryly as he obviously attempted to summon the words. Thankfully, they weren’t needed. Soren knew that Casper wanted to do this, and so he merely nodded and gestured for Casper to follow him out of the room.

Soren could feel everyone’s eyes on him and Casper as they walked out of the room and into the living area toward the kitchen where Soren immediately noticed Ashlynn, who was sitting on the ground with her head resting against the lower cabinets.

Casper’s step faltered momentarily as he spotted her. Though this wasn’t the first time he would have been seen by her, it was still an unnerving experience. Soren waited for Casper to compose himself before both of them walked up toward her.

Ashlynn, deciding that sitting on the floor in the kitchen would possibly be the best at keeping the Borrower community at ease, was resting her eyes for a few minutes and trying to anticipate what the room full of five-inch-tall refugees would need when she heard Soren calling her name.

She opened her eyes slowly and glanced down, expecting only him, and held stock still when she saw Casper Rafters. He looked just as nervous as she felt, but she still decided to break the ice first to help make things easier for him.

“Mr. Rafters,” she said quietly. “Everything okay?” The Borrower cleared his throat before nodding.

“Yes and no,” he stated stiffly. “The good news is that everyone is present and accounted for, and I cannot begin to think you enough.” Casper shuffled his feet as he puffed out his chest a little in hopes to portray confidence. “Unfortunately, there is the other issue of what we left behind. If anyone goes into that elevator shaft, they’ll see the hub and all of our supply tables. They’ll see some of our homes, doors and furniture, which is enough evidence for some.”

Ashlynn nodded as she took in the information. Soren, as he listened, folded his arms and glanced from Casper to Ashlynn, eyes widening as he realized what Casper wanted Ashlynn to do.

“You want her to go into the elevator shaft and hide the evidence?” asked Soren. Casper winced, Soren having guessed his favor, and looked up into Ashlynn’s blue-gray eyes. Soren’s insides squirmed as he listened to Casper clear his throat nervously once again and began speaking.

“Ashlynn, would… no – could I ask this favor of you? I may not have earned it, but this isn’t just me asking. I’m asking on behalf of everyone here. All of Borrower kind is risking exposure, and the only thing that stands in between the safety of our community and the destruction of our kind is what is left,” said Casper. “Whatever you want from me, you may have it. Just… please….”

Soren had heard enough. If that gas was as dangerous as they thought, Ashlynn had no business going in there.

“Casper, Ashlynn isn’t allowed in the elevator shaft, and that gas is st-”

“I’ll do it,” said Ashlynn, interrupting Soren. Soren whipped around to look up at Ashlynn, catching her blue-gray eyes as she looked determinedly at Casper. “I’ll do it. I’ll grab what I can and make sure there’s nothing too obvious.”

“Ashlynn,” said Soren firmly. Was he hearing her correctly? His arms slackened at his sides in disbelief. “It’s dangerous.”

“I know, but I’ll be careful,” said Ashlynn as she looked down into Soren’s hazel eyes. “We don’t have time to debate it either. If Austin is waiting for the gas to dissipate or is getting ready to go into the walls, we need to beat him to the punch. Casper is right. We have to act now if we want to protect everyone from him.”

Soren placed his hands on his hips and took a few steps away, turning his back to her. He didn’t know exactly what the gas did, and there was no time to get anyone else to spot Ashlynn in case she ran into trouble.

His mind was made up.

“Then I’m coming with you,” stated Soren as he turned and faced both Ashlynn and Casper. Ashlynn opened her mouth to protest, but Soren beat her to the punch. “If you run into danger, you need someone watching your back. Plus, I can get further into the walls to get rid of any signs we were there.”

Ashlynn looked at Soren, smiling as she realized there would be no talking him out of his decision.

“Alright. Let’s get some rags to wrap over our faces and get in there,” stated Ashlynn.

“Thank you, Ashlynn,” said Casper. “Truly. I… I can’t say it enough.”

“Just make sure everyone is alright, and don’t let them do anything rash. Leaving now is dangerous, and it will be playing into Austin’s hands,” reminded Ashlynn.

“I can do this much. Do you… I mean… what is the plan for taking care of him?” asked Casper. Ashlynn sighed heavily, biting her lower lip as she thought.

“I have a few ideas but let me worry about him later. Now, we have bigger issues. May I stand?” stated Ashlynn. With a nod from Casper, she pulled her legs in and carefully stood at her full height. Her full height was vertigo inducing, and Casper staggered back out of pure instinct before stepping to the side of the wall and letting Ashlynn pick up Soren.

Together, they slipped into the bathroom and began constructing makeshift facial covers to help filter out whatever the gas was.

Would it be enough?

They were about to find out.

~~~^*^*^~~~

With a backpack affixed to her shoulders and Soren secure in her pocket, Ashlynn left the apartment and made a bee line to the elevator shaft. Her hand instinctually rested on her pocket as she stepped inside the elevator and click the bottom floor button. She knew there was an access shaft on the top floor, and that was her ticket in.

She stepped out of the elevator and walked across the roof and up to the maintenance door. She knew it would be locked, but she had just the trick for that. She glanced around quickly and saw no one on the roof by the green house either.

Perfect.

“Soren, need a lock undone. Ready?” she asked under her breath as she crouched and pretended to tie her shoe. Her pocket shifted and, with a quick slide of hand, Soren was on the ground sliding under the door.

The room was completely dark, but that didn’t deter Soren. He spun his hook and let it fly into the air toward the spot where he knew the handle was. It was precarious work, but after he climbed the line, Soren strained against the lock and finally managed to get it undone, nearly falling off of the edge of the handle as he balanced.

He slid down the line and back under the door, giving Ashlynn access to the maintenance room.

Just like that, Ashlynn and Soren were inside the maintenance room repeating the same process to get into the elevator maintenance shaft.

It took some finagling, but the two of them made it into the shaft and loosened one of the panels so Soren could slip down on his line and press the button to take them up. The gears roared as they rode the elevator down.

Ashlynn as trembling hard, and Soren knew it. Being so close to all of these gears without the appropriate gear was dangerous, even deadly. Still, there she was.

How did he get so lucky to have someone like her?

“Get your mask ready,” said Ashlynn as the elevator came to a halt. She thankfully braced herself and was ready for the full stop. As Ashlynn pulled the mask over her nose and mouth, she took one last clean breath before holding it as long as she could.

Soren did the same.

Sure enough, as they glanced around, there was a faint bit of what looked like dust or powder on the interior of the shaft. The two of them waisted no time in reaching over into one of the small gaps and pulling out what looked like a few matchbook ladders and storage containers.

Ashlynn was careful to not leave fingerprints as she reached into the narrow passage and pulled out a string of Christmas lights. Once done, she lowered Soren once again into the elevator and had him press the next button.

As they descended level to level, Ashlynn felt her hands starting to shake. Was this because of nerves? Or was it from what still lingered in the air?

They needed to finish – quickly.

The next few levels were clear, but it was when they made it to the central hub that the two of them kicked their efforts into high gear. Soren stepped off of Ashlynn’s hand and darted down the different hallways, tearing doors off of their fragile rubber band hinges and dragging out what he could as Ashlynn shoveled everything into her backpack.

The tremor in Ashlynn’s hands remained, but did not increase, which was a good sign for her. Despite her heart pounding and her nervous breaths, she was feeling alright for the most part. Her nerves were trying, and failing, to get the better of her.

Taking a breath and pulling the last of the Christmas lights into her bag, Ashlynn glanced around and felt pleased enough with her work that no one would question some of the random odds and ends that were further back in the walls. She glanced down and saw the faint glow of Soren’s hip lamp just out of reach.

He’s probably finishing up getting some odds and ends thought Ashlynn.

“Soren?” called Ashlynn through her muffling face cover. “Soren? We need to get out of here.”

No response.

Ashlynn glanced down and saw the vast darkness beneath her. It was a miracle no one was using the elevators at the moment. They were all probably at work.

“Soren?” Ashlynn called again.

Still no response.

Ashlynn’s stomach dropped as her heart flipped in place.

Why wasn’t he responding?

What Ashlynn didn’t know, what she couldn’t have known, was that Soren’s heart was pounding faster and faster in his chest. It had become increasingly hard to breathe even though he was being careful with his facial covering.

It started as a small tremor, which Soren attributed to nerves. What they were doing was extremely dangerous, especially for Ashlynn considering that she didn’t have any security lines like he did, and it made him nervous. Then, his chest started to feel tight. He thought it might have been the anxiety inducing situation, but he was wrong.

Now, with his body shaking violently, he realized with horror that the effects of the gas were influencing him. It was a compounding effect; and now that he realized it, his muscles were stiffening and moving was becoming incredibly painful. He tried jogging back quickly, but his muscles seized suddenly and brought him to his knees.

How?

Why?

Was Ashlynn experiencing the same thing?

He needed to get back to her.

“Soren?” Ashlynn called again. Soren, crawling on all fours, forced himself closer to the entrance. The pain was increasing. Like a rising tide, it was dragging him under with every second that passed. His vision swirled while his heart palpitated.

The edge of the wall was right there.

He needed to make it.

“A-ash…” Soren choked out as the edges of his vision grew dark. He collapsed, body curling in on itself involuntarily. He couldn’t even will himself to move.

Then, he heard it.

Ashlynn.

“Soren!” Soren suddenly felt weightless as he felt a pressure all around his body. It had to be Ashlynn saying his name. Trembling violently, Soren forced his eyes open as he looked into her panicking blue-gray eyes.

Confusion washed over him.

She seemed fine. Shaken, but fine.

“Soren, I’m getting us out of here. Hang on,” said Ashlynn as she held him close to her chest, slipped through one of the panels on top of the elevator, and landed harshly in the main car.

Ashlynn pressed the elevator button repeatedly, her whole body shaking.

Surely the gas was gone, right? She didn’t feel any different.

Ashlynn pulled her mask off of her face and carefully pulled down Soren’s facial covering.

Maybe it’s trapping the stuff in? Maybe he touched something and got a higher dose?

When she reached her floor, Ashlynn hurriedly cupped Soren to her chest, not daring to let him go, and rushed into her apartment and headed straight for the bathroom after locking the door behind her.

She spotted the clock nearby and saw she had been gone for an hour.

Crazy how much time had passed.

Ashlynn hurriedly pealed off Soren’s facial cover completely off of him and clasped him in her hands. He was shaking from head to toe and his color was pale.

“Soren? Can you hear me? What happened? Did you see something or touch something else in there?” asked Ashlynn. She saw her hands had a faint coating of that dust like powder on them. It was probably a bad idea, but she had to know. Setting Soren down on the sink counter, she kneeled, pressed her hand to her face, and breathed as deeply as she could.

Nothing.

There was a bit of a sweet smell to the powder, but nothing changed.

She did it again and again, but nothing happened.

Then, a thought occurred.

Was this stuff specifically created to target Borrowers?

Would Ashlynn need to huff a massive amount of this stuff for it to have an affect on her?

She didn’t want to know. What she did want to know was if Soren was going to be okay.

Doing the only thing she knew to do, she turned on the hot water and gingerly held Soren under the current, hopefully washing away the powder from his clothes and keeping him warm.

“Ashlynn? What happened?” Ashlynn heard Rey by the bathroom door.

“Casper said you and Soren went into the walls. Is everything okay?” Dorian’s voice was not far behind. Ashlynn glanced around to see Dorian and Rey jogging toward her.

“Be careful,” she warned, which halted the boys in their tracks. “There’s something wrong. I think the powder from the gas is toxic; at least, it’s affecting Soren.” Ashlynn felt her throat constrict as she brushed her finger gently over Soren’s body.

He was still trembling, but his breathing was slowly becoming more regularly.

“What? Is he okay?” demanded Dorian as he and Rey sprinted forward. Carefully, Ashlynn transferred Soren to one hand as she reached down and offered a wet hand to Dorian and Rey, who waisted no time in clambering on so they could see their brother.

“I think he’s going to be okay. He might’ve inhaled a lot of this stuff, which is weird since I don’t feel anything. It either affects humans and Borrowers differently or he ran into a chamber of that gas and got a big dose of it that I didn’t get.”

They spotted Soren under the water, taking in his pale features and trembling limbs.

“That sicko,” growled Rey. “Ashlynn, do you still have any of that powder?”

“What on earth are you thinking?” Dorian demanded.

“Only one way to test it,” stated Rey. The teen spotted the edge of Ashlynn’s clothing and the remanence of powder on her sleeves. Without hesitation, he stepped forward and pressed his face to the cloth, taking in a big whiff.

“Rey!”

Ashlynn couldn’t move away fast enough. She barely had enough time to move her hand under Rey before he collapsed to his knees and began hacking and gagging, clutching his hand to his chest. Thankfully, his hacking fit only lasted ten or so seconds, but it was enough to confirm Ashlynn’s theory.

“I’m okay. I’m okay,” wheezed Rey. “Yeah, that was rough. Do you not smell that?”

“No, not really. It almost smells sweet. But, for Heaven’s sake! Rey! What were you thinking?” demanded Ashlynn as she held onto the reckless teen. Rey wheezed again and cleared his throat.

“Fastest way to test the theory,” muttered Rey. “And it seems like you were right. You said you’re not feeling this stuff? I felt it immediately. It’s got to be Borrower specific. I’ll bet that psycho made this stuff.” Dorian folded his arms across his chest and nodded solemnly.

“Makes sense. Austin had Borrowers in captivity, so he would have had the perfect test subjects. Also, with this whole gas thing, no one in the apartments would feel the effects. It would only get the Borrowers. That’s twisted stuff,” mumbled Dorian as he stared at his brother. “Ashlynn, I need a lift down. I’m going to get Soren a change of clothes. You should do the same. Rey, get him out of that wet outfit when Ashlynn’s done.”

Ashlynn lowered Dorian to the ground as Rey helped get Soren out of his wet clothes. Ashlynn peeled off some of her clothes, leaving her in her sports bra and her spandex, while Rey worked. When Dorian returned, Casper came with him.

“Ashlynn? I just heard. Is Soren alright?” Casper called, a fatherly concern audible in his voice.

“I think so,” she muttered, instinctually lowering her hand and letting Dorian on to bring him up onto the counter. She was about to move when she felt a second set of feet press against the pads of her fingers. Ashlynn glanced down and, to her surprise, saw Casper standing firmly beside Dorian.

Electing not to question him, Ashlynn raised her hand back to the sink counter, but before the boys could begin redressing Soren, he stirred.

“Soren!” breathed Ashlynn in pure relief. She pressed her hand against his back as Soren tried to sit upright. “How do you feel?”

“Rough, but getting better,” Soren groaned. He looked up into Ashlynn’s face, mustering a concerned smile. “Are you alright?” Tears in her eyes, Ashlynn nodded and, losing control, leaned forward and pressed her lips to his bare chest. Casper and Soren’s brothers all looked away bashfully as Ashlynn pulled away, tears glistening in her eyes.

“I’m fine,” she muttered. “Sorry. I just got so scared when you collapsed like that.”

“Yeah,” Soren breathed, pulling a half of a grin onto his face. “Me too. Casper, we did what we could. We can only hope it’s enough.”

“Thank goodness,” stated Casper as he knelt down and held out his hand to Soren. “You have my eternal thanks, Soren. You’ve saved us – both of you have saved us.”

Ashlynn was about to respond when she heard something that made a shiver run through all of their spines.

A knock at the door.

All eyes turned to the front door where the knock came from. It was a bone chilling sound, especially given recent events. Ashlynn was about to dismiss the noise when she and the Borrowers on the bathroom counter heard someone call out.

“Hello? Pest Control and Extermination. I’m here to ask a couple questions. Is the occupant Ashlynn Maeson home?”

Ashlynn looked around wildly to the Borrowers, who had all subtly shifted themselves to hide slightly behind her. Ashlynn wanted to just ignore the door, but Rey suddenly spoke up.

“Ashlynn, you need to answer the door,” instructed the inventive Borrower teen. All eyes were on him suddenly.

“What? Rey, what are you…”

“Ashlynn, maybe you can get some information. Maybe you can tell him to leave us alone. He also knows your name,” said Rey. There was another knock at the door.

“Hello? Pest Control and Extermination. Is anyone home? We might have a serious infestation here. I just need to ask a few questions.”

“Rey, he could’ve just gotten that from the main office. He might not remember me,” Ashlynn hissed.

“Please, Ashlynn. Just… try? He might just wait out there. You can get him to go away! At the very least, you can get some information out of him. Hit record on your phone and we can edit out anything proving what a psycho he is!” pleaded Rey. Ashlynn glanced to Soren and Dorian before looing back into Rey’s pale blue eyes.

She couldn’t say no – not to him.

“Okay. Get into the bedroom and tell everyone to be quiet,” instructed Ashlynn as she held out her hands. Everyone, including Casper, stepped on and let Ashlynn carry them to the entrance of the bedroom door. Once they were safely inside, Ashlynn braced herself and waited another few seconds before pulling out her phone, hitting record, and slipping it into her pocket as she pulled a jacket over her body.

The moment she opened the door, she recognized the boy immediately. Sure, years had passed, but he had that same devious look in his eyes and that gleam in his smile that was undeniable.

Austin.

He was wearing some kind of gray and white uniform with a ball cap and everything. It was some kind of jumpsuit that, oddly enough, made him look like some kind of escapee from an old-fashioned prison. Austin couldn’t have been more than eighteen or nineteen years old, which made this whole thing so much worse. He was old enough when he was a child to know not to hurt another living being, and he was certainly old enough now to know that what he was doing was wrong.

His eyes gleamed as he looked into Ashlynn’s blue-gray eyes, which sent a shiver down her spine. Though the rest of the world might not have known it, Ashlynn suspected she was looking into the eyes of a true psychopath.

“Hello Miss Maeson. My name is Austin, with Pest Control and Extermination. I got a call about a potential infestation and was wondering if I could ask you some questions about whether or not you’ve seen anything out of the ord… Huh… Do I…” Austin’s glossy eyes narrowed as he looked into Ashlynn’s face. “Do I know you?”

Ashlynn, taking a breath in hopes to calm herself down, forced a smile and played into her part. She could only hope she could be convincing.

“Actually, I think so. You used to live in Region’s Park, right?” asked Ashlynn. Suddenly, Austin’s eyes lit up with recognition and a knowing smile curled his lips upwards. The look was chilling.

“That’s right. Ashlynn. You… you watched me a few times when I was much younger, right?” asked Austin. Ashlynn forced a nod and smiled.

“Yes, that’s right, and I see you’ve taken up a profession and everything. The time certainly has flown by,” said Ashlynn.

“It really has. Um… well… I don’t want to take up too much of your time. Do you think I could come in for a few minutes and ask you some questions. I got a call about a potential infestation, and I just need to have a quick look around,” stated Austin.

Ashlynn was afraid of this. She didn’t want to let Austin in. She knew he would see the closed bedroom door and fling it wide open to reveal the whole Borrower community she worked so hard to save.

Instead, she raised her voice a little louder than normal and hoped with every fiber of her being the others would hear.

“Come in? Why? Why do you want to come into my apartment? And did you say infestation? And infestation of what?” said Ashlynn. There was just a moment when Austin’s eyes flared, making Ashlynn’s insides churn uneasily. Did Austin already guess what she was doing?

“Oh, just a mixture of things,” said Austin quietly. “People have noticed different things and signs. Really, it is just a precaution. So? May I enter?”

“That… didn’t really answer the question,” Ashlynn stated, trying to laugh it off. “What? Is it mice? Termites? Cockroaches?”

Then, she saw it. A devious smile curled onto Austin’s face and an undeniable, greedy glow filled his dead, shark-like eyes.

“I think you and I both know the answer to that question,” grinned Austin. Ashlynn’s heart flipped and she was sure her nerves were visible. She hoped to play it off; but she suspected it was already too late.

“I… really don’t know what you’re talking about, and if you can’t give me any more information, I’m afraid I’ll have to decline without a formal request from the apartment and sufficient time to secure my personal belongings and vacate the premises. It’s part of the rules here in the Starlight Apartments that residents must be notified and given 24-hours to prepare,” stated Ashlynn.

Thank goodness she had to get all of that Home Owners Association reading training for work. It gave her all of the skills she needed to comb through her own contract.

Sadly, it seemed to be the nail in the coffin for her keeping a low profile.

“So… you did have something to do with it,” muttered Austin. “What? Are you in cahoots with them?”

Ashlynn swallowed dryly.

“Them? The supposed mice infestation?” she asked, trying to sound joking and lighten the tone of her voice.

“No… them.” The word was a haunting one, and not something she was eager to expand on. Sadly, Austin continued. “You know what I’m talking about. The little people. You took one of them from me when I was a child. The first one I encountered actually. You shuffled it away before I really realized what it was.”

It was now a staring contest, an ultimate game of chicken where neither party could swerve or reveal their hand to the other. Ashlynn clenched her fist from behind the door, her features hardening involuntarily.

The fact that he could be so cavalier about injuring someone the way he did and ultimately killing him made her sick to her stomach. She prayed Rey and Dorian were not here to listen to any of this.

How could she play this now? He addressed it. He talked about Borrowers, but not by name. This was the evidence she needed to get that Rey was talking about.

It was now or never.

“Austin, think about what you’re doing,” said Ashlynn softly.

“No, think about what you’re doing, Ashlynn. No offence, but this is a golden opportunity. I have investors who are interested in samples and subjects. Photos and videos alone aren’t going to be enough to convince them… no… the world about them,” stated Austin.

So… he only had photos and videos?

Good…

She could work with this.

Ashlynn needed to discredit him. She needed it on audio. She needed to make it sound like Austin was out of his mind.

“Austin, you’re better than this. Little people? Come on. There’s no such thing,” said Ashlynn.

“No!” growled Austin, daring to take a step forward toward the slightly ajar apartment door. “There is – and you know it. Work with me here, Ashlynn. This is the investment opportunity of a lifetime. Think about the money you could get from selling one of these miniature twerps as toys and pets. They’re parasites. They live and feed off of us. Why not make a buck in the process? It’s a better life than scrounging for scraps. They’re better off as pets.”

Ashlynn could have punched him straight in the nose, slapping him silly until her hands fell off, but she instead took a breath and kept her features hardened.

“And how do you plan on catching these imaginary ‘little people’?” asked Ashlynn, making sure to set him up for the next line of questioning.

“They’re not imaginary! And you know it,” growled Austin. “And I have my ways. My investors let me experiment with some… chemicals. I am confident my concoction will do the trick. Totally painless. It just… immobilizes them. It’s so they don’t hurt themselves.”

“And it works on these… things? Anything else? Like mice or other pests?” asked Ashlynn.

“Yeah, but they’re not the target,” stated Austin.

“And you have pictures and videos?” asked Ashlynn. Austin nodded.

“Cloud storage and hard copies. Those little critters are crafty,” said Austin, his voice low and persuasive.

Thankfully, it would never be enough for her to betray her friends. She had heard enough. Ashlynn was done. She needed to get him away and go back to the others to regroup.

“Austin, what you’re doing isn’t right,” said Ashlynn. “Please, reconsider.” Austin’s face hardened as his fist clenched.

“Well then… sorry I can’t bring you in as an investor. Too bad. You could’ve been famous for outing these little freaks,” sneered Austin. “Consider this your 24-hour notice. I’ll need to evaluate your apartment for potential contamination.”

Austin grinned and, just like that, he plastered a smile back onto his face, hiding the sinister flare Ashlynn witnessed moments earlier, and moved onto the next apartment.

Ashlynn hurriedly closed the door and locked it, leaning against the wood and sliding to the ground to take a fresh breath of air.

How much did the community hear? Had they fled into the walls? They were quiet, but was it because they were trying to leave or because they were hunkered down in place?

Ashlynn didn’t know, but she needed to figure it out.

Not feeling strong enough to stand, she scooted across the floor and tapped on her bedroom door ever so softly in hopes to get Soren’s attention.

It was mere seconds later when Casper, Dorian, Rey, and Soren all hurried outside, and Hero wasn’t far behind.

“Ashlynn,” breathed Soren as he stumbled over to Ashlynn’s now extended hand and leaned against it.

“You heard?” asked Ashlynn. They all nodded solemnly.

“Everyone did,” stated Hero. Ashlynn’s stomach flipped nervously, but Dorian continued. “And… they heard what you said. They know what you did. You… could’ve turned us all over to him – but you didn’t.” Hero’s smile was spread from ear to ear.

“So, what do we do now is the real question,” stated Dorian. “He’s going to be back tomorrow, and we can’t get into the walls because that stuff is still in there.”

“No, we need to do more than that,” stated Rey, his voice measured and calm. “We need to get rid of that evidence. We need to report him. Ashlynn, you have your recorder on? Give it to Dorian. You need to edit out a little bit here and there so we can turn it over to someone – anyone – who can take Austin away.”

“You’re saying call the police on him?” asked Ashlynn.

“Yes, if that’s who can get him away from us,” retorted Rey. “We need to tell them about those dangerous chemicals and say something – anything – to get him in trouble.”

Ashlynn thought hard about the situation, biting her lip and nodding as a plan started to formulate in her mind.

“Okay. Let’s go over what we know,” she stated, reaching her thumb over to brush against Soren’s shoulder. “Austin doesn’t know about everyone being safe here. He suspects it, but he also thinks he has Borrowers back in his van and that his gas probably got a few Borrowers. If I call the authorities to investigate the van, we can separate him from that at the very least.”

“Then let’s do it!” said Rey eagerly.

“There’s something else to all of this too,” said Ashlynn, now looking over to Casper and making sure to catch his gaze before continuing. “Even if we manage to stop Austin here, it doesn’t stop him from targeting this building. I… know this is your home, but you all are not going to be safe here anymore.”

Casper took a deep breath and nodded regretfully.

“I suspected as much. This is going to be a blow to the community. I don’t even know how to tell them,” stated the middle-aged father.

There was a long pause, and the silence was one Soren was familiar with. Ashlynn usually fell silent like this when she knew what she wanted to say but wasn’t sure how to go about it.

And he suspected he knew what she wanted to say.

“Ashlynn?” prompted Soren. His tone of voice was enough to gain a nervous smile from his chosen partner.

“Casper, there… is another solution. Instead of having everyone migrate and everything. I know it’s dangerous, and this is something all of you would have to choose to do,” stated Ashlynn. Casper looked up into Ashlynn’s eyes with a hopeful gleam.

“Oh? And what is that?”

“I bought a house. I’ve taken them to see it, and we think Borrowers used to live there. Instead of migrating on your own, pulling apart the community that’s grown so close, why not… well… why not come with us?” asked Ashlynn. “You don’t have to answer now, and you have to talk it over with everyone, but I want you all to think it over. I’ll get you out of here safe and sound. You can live freely and in a neighborhood where you all could technically move to once you’re out of here.”

“C-come with you?” stammered Casper, obviously short-circuiting at the suggestion. “Have you pack us up in boxes and take us somewhere we’ve never been? Put every one of our lives in your hands?”

“Dad, think about it,” pleaded Hero. “Ashlynn has a point. We’ll be safe. We know her, and the others just heard her get rid of Austin. She can protect us if we need it, and we won’t have to stay with her forever if we don’t want to. It’s the best way to get everyone out of here safely.”

“Just, think it over… Quickly, but think it over,” stated Ashlynn. “In the meantime, we have some work to do. Right?”

Soren and his brothers nodded as they took Ashlynn’s phone and began trimming the audio.

They were fighting the clock, and they didn’t even know if their plan was going to work.

But it had to. For all of their sakes… it had to.

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

::_____::

A Tall and Small Collection

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A Tall and Small Collection | Soren

ASK ME ANYTHING

::_____::

Everyone Needs a Little Hero

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Beginning

Prompt

ASK ME ANYTHING

[transformers-platonic]

Friendship Day: TFP

For those who don’t know, today (July 30th) is friendship day. It’s not really celebrated in Canada and I’m not sure if it’s celebrated in the U.S, but I wanted to make this cute story.

Optimus frowned as he watched Miko whisper something to Jack.

Jack looked at the image Miko was showing on her phone, at the others and then nodded. Raf waved them over to a different area and the three humans left the room.

“You’ve noticed the children acting strange as well?” Wheeljack asked, leaning against the wall.

“Yes, has Miko mentioned anything to you?” Optimus asked.

“No, Bulk’s mentioned that she’s been more secretive this past week.” Wheeljack replied, shaking his head.

“It started after Raf found something on his phone, he shown Miko and Jack and they started acting secretive after that.” Bee added.

“We cannot push them to share whatever they are bothered by too quickly.” Optimus said, “However, we must be alert in case there is something troubling our young friends.”

On the ride home, Bulkhead was quiet for a bit, “So, is everything alright?” He finally asked.

“Yeah, why?” Miko asked.

“You and the others have been quiet lately.” He admitted, “Are you hiding something from us?”

Miko’s expression softened, “It’s nothing, I promise.”

Bulkhead sighed as he considered this. “Alright, but promise me you’ll tell me if you’re in any trouble or if something’s bothering you. I promise, I won’t be mad.”

“Thanks.” Miko said.

At the house, she texted Jack and Raf in a group chat. “I think the Bots are getting suspicious. Bulkhead’s been asking me if everything was fine.”

“Same with Arcee. Maybe we should just explain the surprise to them.” Jack texted back.

“That’s no fun. We just need to make them not worry.” Miko replied.

“How?” Jack replied.

“What if we talked to one of the Autobots about it? They could run interference and help convince the others that nothing’s wrong?” Raf texted.

“Sure, but who?” Jack asked.

“Tomorrow at the base, we’ll see if any of the bots are alone, that way asking to talk privately won’t raise suspicion.” Raf texted after a pause.

“Sweet; good thinking Raf!” Miko replied.

“Yeah, maybe this will still work.” Jack texted.

The following day, they got to the base. Ultra Magnus motioned for the three of them to follow him. The children looked at each other before following.

“I know you three have been acting secretive lately. I want to know why.” He said sternly.

Raf sighed, “It’s Friendship Day in a few days, we were planning on surprising everyone for it; we never meant to cause trouble.”

“Friendship day?” Ultra Magnus asked.

Jack typed on his phone and shown Ultra Magnus the info.

Ultra Magnus carefully read the page. “I see. You three were planning some sort of surprise?”

“Yeah.” Raf said. He pulled out his laptop an shown the notes.

“With the decorations, if you are trying for a time all Autobot are out of the main room, it will be challenging until night.” He pointed out.

“It’ll be during that time we planned to stay at the base overnight; remember the ‘science fiction camp’ our families thought it was? Well, other that Jack’s mom.” Miko said, “We just told her.”

“Right.” Ultra Magnus replied, “Recharging isn’t like human sleep though, it is quite easy for a cybertronian to wake up from a power down. You three are not very stealthy and the noise would alert them.”

“Well, it’s worth a try.” Miko argued.

“I am willing to provide assistance, I can work quietly so they would be unaware.” He said.

“Thanks so much.” Raf said, “I thought you wouldn’t be into that stuff, sir.” He added the ‘sir’ as an afterthought.

“Optimus told me how team Prime was like a family, perhaps if I assist you with this, I will truly understand what that means.” He said.

“Now, the Bots are worried, any advice on how to handle that, sir?” Jack asked.

“I will inform Optimus that it is nothing to worry about and it is just human youth being restless in the middle of summer vacation as you now lack the structure of formal education.” He said.

That night, Ultra Magnus kept his promise and put up the decorations. Afterwords, he paused to look at the room and saw the hand written posters that told funny stories of their memories. He smiled as he walked around the room, reading the memories.

He paused at the mention of them playing racecars in the base. A part of him thought he should be angry as it shows a disregard for the serious nature of the base, but he couldn’t help but smile. He paused when he saw posters of memories of times he gave them advice. Jack’s poser even mentioned how he appreciates Ultra Magnus thoughtful responses. He took a sharp intake of breath as he realized that he formed part of the family without fully understanding what a family is. His eyes darted to some paper the humans had left. He found a pen that was kept in case Agent Fowler forgot one again and needed to write the report. He picked up the writing utensil and carefully wrote on the page. He put that poster with the others.

The next morning, the Bots work up early and they at first looked confused seeing the posters. Bee beeped exciteldly, pointing to the one where it mentioned that Raf shown him how the remote control racecar works.

“Look, there’s the time Miko realized we couldn’t go to her school’s talent show so they made a little stage and she performed for us.” Bulkhead said.

“And here’s one where Jack and I were just outside the base, talking about plans for the future and what Earth and Cybertron were like.” Arcee said.

The humans left the guest rooms as each had their own, when they heard the Bots talking.

“Did you guys do this?” Arcee asked.

“Well, Ultra Magnus helped.” Raf admitted, looking at the floor.

“I don’t get it, what is all this about?” Smokescreen said as he read the one where he and Miko were playing music too loud while Bulkhead was on patrol and Ratchet came and scolded them so they pranked him by hiding the phone in his medbay after setting up music.

“It’s friendship day; it’s a day to celebreate friendship and we thought we’d do that by sharing good memories.” Jack replied.

The group all got together, the bots sharing memories of friendship with the humans.

“Remember when I was in a bad mood and snapped at the others and you went to check if I was alright?” Wheeljack asked, smiling at Raf.

“Yeah, I mean, I have a lot of siblings, I’ve seen it before.” He said.

“Or when you taught me how to use a phone’s camera like Miko does?” Wheeljack laughed, at Jack.

Jack smiled at the memory.

“Or when I found your guitar and even though it was hard with the size difference, you shown how to play.” Arcee said to Miko.

“It was fun.” Miko agreed.

“For the longest time, my only priorties were protecting humanity and my team and defeating Megatron; when you three joined the base, I learned how to really enjoy the moments of peace.” Optimus replied thoughtfully, his eyes on the posters.

“I have to admit, I was the same way. I didn’t understand humans so I didn’t get how we could be expected to be close to you but I’m glad you three joined.” Ratchet said.

“Hey, who put that poster up?” Miko asked, seeing the one in the corner of the room. The three humans went to the poster. The Autobots followed closely behind. After reading it, they all knew who wrote it.

“Jack, Miko, Rafael, seeing all the memories of the friendship you share with Team Prime shown me what it truly means to be a family. Thank you for allowing me to be involved with this project.”

[shinysparklesapphires]

reflection, ft vivienne coruset

tw: implied abuse, family problems, loss of loved ones, and themes of suicide.

an: "i'm not that great at writing and honestly im just hoping i wrote viv's dad well enough" also rbs appricieated

tags: @harufallinwonderland

"my life has been...rough to say the least."

"i don't remember much about my family other than the fact that i loved my mother more than anything,"

"and i hated my father."

"INSOLENT BRAT!" a tall man in his forties cornered a little girl to a wall. "HOW DARE YOU TREAT ME WITH SUCH DISRESPECT!" just as he raised his fist to strike, he was stopped. "you're being irrational! she's only 12, how would you expect her to act?!" The man turned his attention to the pale woman behind him. "if you have a problem with her, then take it up with me." he whacked her hand away from him. "father wai-" "SILENCE!" the girl winced. the pale woman put her self inbetween the girl and the man. "you misreble wench," the man gritted his teeth. the girl shut her eyes. WHACK! the pale woman fell to the ground and never got up. "MAMA!" the little girl cried in vain. "go to your room vivienne," the tall man walked out of the room.

"that was the day before my 13th birthday."

"most kids get to have a birthday party with their friends and family."

"my father couldn't care less."

grabbing a sewing kit and her favorite stuffed doll, the little girl ran to her late mother's room to grab something: a small diamond ring. it was still dark outside, everyone in the house was asleep. she stepped outside, quiet as a mouse until she reached the gate. trying to be as careful as possible she managed to climb over. she ran. she didn't even think to look back, she never wanted to see that godawful estate ever again, she ran and ran until she couldn't run anymore. she blacked out.

"it's my birthday, i thought."

"it's my birthday."

"and instead of spending it with friends or family,"

"i'm alone."

"i'll always be alone."

"so what's even the point of living anymore..?"

"sylvie! she's waking up!" the little girl awoke to a young man standing over her, worried. "huh?" "sevens, are you ok kid? we found you passed out on the ground. do you have any family or anyone we can call?" "julian come on, let the poor thing get to her senses before pestering her with questions!" a blonde woman came up to 'julian' and smacked him behind the head. "where am i?" the little girl asked. "you're in our house," the blonde woman started, "julian found you passed out near the village and took you in, what on earth were you doing out so late?!" she hesitated. "do you know your parents' numbers so we can call them?" she froze. "n-no, that won't be necessary.." sylvie sighed. "well, can you tell us your name at least?"

"it's-"

"VIVIENNE!"

as vivienne woke up, she could make out two figures, altholgh a blur she could make out pink hair and cat ears...

[miracles-and-butterflies]

Prompt request please: Everyone's reactions when Mirabel runs away

(Sorry in advance, I'll be asking for more prompts in the future as well as other stuff).

(Don’t be sorry at all - I look forward to them.)

Considering we see some of the reactions in the film - Alma, Bruno, Julieta - I won’t do literally everyone. And I can’t promise it’ll be any good. But here’s a short extract; do remember everyone is still reeling after the event and emotions are high.

Weighted Regret

Fuck the townspeople.

How dare they do nothing and continue as normal whilst her baby sister was missing, if not dead?

Tía Pepa had huddled Antonio and Camilo close, singing some familiar lullaby. She’d extended a hand to the older girls, but Dolores had already agreed to help her father in the search, and her nieces looked uninterested, though their eyes betrayed them, shiny with longing for that comfort.

If Luisa listens carefully, she can hear the childish questions of her young cousins:

“Will Casita fix itself?”

“Will we have to move into a new house?”

“Do you think my animals will move into our new house?”

The woman looks shellshocked, but she tries. She tries to offer a reassuring smile, she tries to deny the tears threatening to spill, she tries to ignore the fact all her children are safe and Julieta’s aren’t. The worst part is that it’s working.

It’s pissing Luisa off. How the three of them are sat, hugging, so oblivious to what’s going on. Because she wants to sit with her younger sister and mother too! But she doesn’t deserve it.

Dolores has been nothing but determined since they started looking. She was logical too. She’d argued that on short and definitely sore legs (if not injured), Mirabel can’t have gone far and the townspeople wouldn’t be of any use to her, therefore the girl had to be on the outskirts of town but still close by Casita.

But her logical and quietness makes her seem uncaring, and Luisa hates that too. How does she always know what to say? Why can’t that be her?

Tío Félix had tried to take on a leadership role. To be fair, he was the oldest, besides Abuela. Not that age should make a leader by default, Luisa would have descended into anarchy if she had to follow Isabela’s orders.

But, he’d been unusually solemn. Taking a moment to gently pat both sisters on the shoulder before departing with Dolores.

Even if he hadn’t said anything, he definitely agreed with Isabela.

“She can’t just be missing,” Isabela had argued earlier. “She might not have survived. It was a stressful situation and Mama could have just imagined it.” She’d turned her head towards the remains and pushed a heavy chunk of debris, possibly once a wall, to reveal a shattered family photo. “I think we should remove this stuff first. There’s no point looking until we know if Mama actually saw her.”

Luisa bit her tongue.

She hated how there was reason behind it. None of them had seen Mirabel; Mirabel hadn’t interacted with their mother. Then again, if it had been real, if they didn’t look for the girl now, she’ll definitely be dead by the time they do. No doubt that’s what the spoiled brat wanted.

This entire thing was bitter, like the sickeningly metallic taste in her mouth.

So, Luisa had bitten her tongue.

In front of the others, at least. She couldn’t hold herself back when they were far away, with only Dolores and Tío Félix to hear her.

“Why? Why would you say that?” Luisa spat, glaring at the older woman.

“It’s likely. How come nobody saw Mirabel get up and leave?” Isabela replied. “The miracle went out before she got stuck inside. Maybe Casita couldn’t save her. I know we were told to remain optimistic or whatever, but there’s nothing to be optimistic about.”

“Yeah, no shit, you fucking idiot.”

“Okay, that’s it. What is your fucking problem? You’ve been moody since we left. And I get you’re stressed and worried and whatever else you’re feeling right now, but I’m trying to help here. We need to stay focused or we’re not gonna find anything.”

“Maybe if someone wasn’t such a conniving, selfish bitch, none of this would have happened in the first place!”

That’s it, right there.

Isabela recoils, physically, as if sprayed by some toxin. Her eyes narrow, her nostrils flare, her lip curls. She looks nothing like the famed beauty of Encanto, more like a prowling tiger. “I am not selfish.”

“Say that to Dolores and Mirabel and anyone else you hurt,” she says sarcastically. She tries to steady herself with the support of a nearby tree. It’s useless. Truthfully, she doesn’t know where this anger is coming from, but she just can’t seem to calm herself down.

“You didn’t stand up for her either.”

At the mention of the youngest sister and the argument that caused this, Dolores claims to hear something and guides her father away.

“How dare you?” Luisa steps closer, towering. “How dare you even speak about my hermanita?! You have no idea what it’s been like for her or me. All she did was try to fix our family, because someone selfishly,” there’s that word again. “Decided to bewitch our cousin’s soulmate into thinking marrying her was a good idea!”

“Don’t you dare. You know that is not how it happened.” Isabela growled. “She is our sister and I’m just as hurt as you are. The difference being I can admit that I’ve used her as a scapegoat for the past ten years, while you sit on your high horse, without giving a damn to what your neglect has done to her. Now, get away from me, Luisa.”

She glares. “No. Seeing as you don’t wanna help, you can leave. I’m staying here. I’m staying and looking for my sister.”

“Our, Luisa!” The older goes to say more, but seemingly thinks better of it. Good, Luisa doesn’t want to hear it. But she does wonder what it was. “Alright, I’ll leave. I know when I’m not wanted. But I’m not going to stop searching, as you so clearly want, because she is our sister and I care about her.”

“No, you don’t,” Luisa argues.

Isabela doesn’t give a reply this time. But it infuriates Luisa all the same, she clenches her fist around the branch. It snaps, easily. She might not have her super strength, but the years of building her muscles don’t leave her helpless.

Neither of them react to it.

“I do care. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here. You’re upset that you didn’t do anything to help her when she need it and you’re projecting that onto me because you’re the perfectly good older sister,” Isabela huffs, then, “If you ask me, you’re the one who’s being selfish.”

And with that, Isabela turns on her heel and disappears into the greenery, leaving Luisa alone with her thoughts.

Fuck the townspeople.

Fuck Isabela.

Fuck herself too.

[people-are-strange-87]

The False Emerson

Part 1

Ella just wanted to celebrate Halloween; how did it go so wrong so quickly?

Ella blinked rapidly as she stepped into the sun. The house of horrors had been extremely dark compared to the Californian sun, even in late autumn. Crowds of people in costumes covered the boardwalk and there were rumours of a Halloween party on Strawberry Beach after dark. She planned to have a walk down once the trick-or-treaters started to go home. Heading towards the end of the Wharf to get some food, Ella was shocked to see that the Bay Company was no more. Instead it had been replaced by a shop called Max’s Video Store. Intrigued, she decided to check it out. The name sounded familiar but she could not place it until she saw the cashier. It was 44-year-old Edward Herrmann, the recently released videos included Crocodile Dundee and From Beyond. She remembered her uncle telling her about watching both films when he was fourteen, renting them almost as soon as they came out. That’s when Ella realised, it was October 1986 and she was in the Lost Boys’ universe. She had the power to reverse the death of the vampire gang, they didn’t have to die for Max’s actions after all.

“Can I help you, young lady?” Max asked, his sweet tone made her feel nauseous knowing how he neglected the boys. Thorn barely glanced at her which was a relief. She nodded with a smile, “How much will it be to rent?” “Five dollars for the week” He answered, “Having a quiet night in?” “I’m not sure yet. My niece is out of town so no free candy for me”

Settling into her hotel room, Ella pulled the three tapes out of the bag. She ended up renting her three favourite 80s films: Children of the Corn, Labyrinth, and The Neverending Story. A choice between the three different emotions the movies created was freeing. It made a change from her usual Halloween Horror Marathons. The tradition had been her uncle’s but she carried it with her when she moved away. California felt so far from Tennessee, especially when she began to miss her family. When she opened her window to air out the room, she heard the buzz of the crowds. Sure the celebrations wouldn’t be like what she experienced at home or when she visited her uncle in Louisiana but they would be fun. It was Halloween after all. Why not go out?

Within the hour, Ella was ready. The night life awaited her but her first stop was the carousel to see if the rumours were true. She had the word of the receptionist that this was the best spot in Santa Carla to meet people. Especially when it was night during the Halloween season. Between the hours of ten and four, the boardwalk was adult only. That was only during the spookiest time of year but it was still effective. You had to be at least twenty-one to access the area but it was not heavily regulated which was good for Ella. She didn’t have her id. She hadn’t even picked up her phone when she left the house that morning. It was only meant to be a short trip out. Thankfully, she had taken some cash with her. That made things a lot easier.

“Hey, babe,” A voice greeted from behind her. Ella recognised him from the film, he was one of the guys that hung around Greg. In other words, he was trouble. “Want to hang with me?” Ella scoffed, rolling her eyes at his suggestion. “No, thank you” She declined, wishing he would go away so she could enjoy the ride in peace. Apparently, that wasn’t an option. He grabbed her thigh so hard that she was sure it would bruise, “Come on, don’t be a prude” Just as she went to retaliate, he was pulled away. “She said no, dude!” Ella would recognise that New York accent anywhere; it was Billy Wirth. That meant it was Dwayne who had come to her rescue. Hopefully it meant the surfer was dinner, not her. “Back off, man!” The Californian demanded, shoving the vampire. Dwayne pushed him back. He was facing away from her but she could tell he was angry as he spoke, “Don’t push your luck, Tommy. The boardwalk is our’s” The threat was clear but the surfer was idiotic. “Oh, yeah?” He challenged, not backing down, “According to who?” As the ride halted to a stop, Ella stepped down from the fake horse. She could still hear the pair arguing but paid them no attention. She fully intended to leave and return to her hotel but clearly the coven had other ideas.

She had almost made it to the car park when Dwayne reappeared. He stood in front of her, about to speak when she cut him off. “I hope he learnt his lesson, Dwayne. Anyone with a brain cell knows this is your territory. Even I know and I’m not from round here” She rambled, Ella was nervous. He was attractive but still dangerous, he was a vampire. He could easily hurt her, even if he didn’t want to kill her. She was also hyper aware that she had used his name, something she shouldn’t know yet. It was her first day in Santa Carla, a vastly different world from the Santa Cruz she knew. He didn’t speak, instead he loosely grabbed her upper arm and dragged her to the bikes - to the rest of his coven. He presented her to David, “She knew my name” The statement shocked the group and Ella couldn’t quite place the tone he had used. He was completely unreadable. “Gotta know your names if I’m gonna stop you from dying come the summer” She was dismissive of her knowledge, only creating more questions. None of them spoke, instead they seemed to take in her appearance. Her hair was shoulder-length, a light brown that had tints of blonde from the coastal sun. The jumper she had been left in her grandfather’s will almost covered her black skirt and her converse were clean but scuffed. Her style was so different from their own. The vampires had no idea of how to react. The silence became awkward so she continued speaking, “I only have until July to create a plan. Everything starts on the 31st, once Lucy arrives everything changes. I’d rather not see you all die again. You don’t deserve that… It wasn’t your fault” Her voice grew quiet with her last statement, tears threatening to pour down her face. They had lived for decades yet one family would end it all. It was just unfair. They only did what they needed to in order to survive. They couldn’t help their nature.

Not once did they speak to her. Yet somehow, she ended up at the cave, travelling on the back of Dwayne’s bike. They all sat in the same positions they had when they brought Michael to the cave. Clearly, they were creatures of habit. Ella hovered around the fountain, noticing the initials carved into its basin. She wondered when they had done it, her fingers tracing each letter nervously. “How do you know?” David’s question cut through the tense atmosphere, echoing slightly. She didn’t look up from the stone, “In my world, you’re a movie. Simply characters” “Your world?” The leader scoffed, “Stop lying” “Not lying” She retorted, still not looking away from the carving. Her finger resting on M. The metal creaked as David shifted slightly, “I don’t believe you” Ella’s head snapped toward him, “I doubt me being from a different universe is hard to believe considering you’re vampires” Her tone was sharp, she was trying not to get angry but David had a natural talent at being infuriating. He didn’t do well at hiding his shock.

Ella had wandered off into the cave, leaving the boys to discuss what she had told them. It was surely a surprise but it doesn't seem that impossible. The time alone gave her a chance to regulate her emotions. She had found an empty cavern and just sat down. This wasn’t how she imagined spending her night yet here she was. The silence was comforting as she began formulating a plan. Clearly the group hadn’t met Star yet and she hadn’t seen Laddie. That wasn’t to say that he wasn’t already here. It was unclear when the young halfling was meant to sleep but she was certain that he didn’t stay with Star. That had been made obvious when Michael had slept with Star. He hadn’t been with the boys and wasn’t in the main cave nor Star’s area. That implied that he had his own space in the cave. She imagined all the boys did, even if they roosted together. That must just be a safety measure even if it didn’t work. Ella wondered if they let her stay if she could use this hollow. It was secluded enough. They’d find her when they were ready, her heartbeat would be an indicator of her location. Hopefully they believed her and were willing to let her help. She would hate to hopelessly stand by as they were murdered all over again. Each individual death was ingrained into her memory. Their pain had stuck with her throughout the years.

It was Dwayne that found her in the end. She heard his necklaces before she saw him. They were a give away to his approach though she was sure he could be quiet if he wanted to. A glow was produced by the flame he was carrying, the torch similar to the one used to light the barrels. She stared at him, the drying tears on her face the only indicator of her crying. He sat down beside her, torch discarded. “Why do you want to help us?” “You didn’t deserve to die” Ella’s voice was shaky from her emotions, “You only did what you had to do to survive” “How do we die?” He asks quietly, she was glad he talked more than in the film. Grimacing, she told him, “Marko is staked, Paul gets holy water, you get electrocuted, and David gets stabbed. None of you die quickly. It’s horrific” The tears began again, she tried to keep herself from crying but she couldn’t help it. They were all brutally slaughtered for no reason. The only person who had to die was Max, the boys were all victims. Dwayne grabbed her hand, “What happens to Laddie?” He demanded, they must have taken him in already. Clearly he cared for the boy. It made her wonder why he was always with Star during the film. She imagined it was another order from Max. “He sees Paul die. The only reason Paul was by the holy water is because he was protecting Laddie. He doesn’t get hurt but I can only imagine what that feels like” She couldn’t lie to him, not about this. The poor kid had to live with that image forever. Ella knew she had to prevent it. If not for the boys’ sakes, then for Laddie. He was only eleven.

[dollsonmain]

Today I should rest and spend time with myself but there's too much to do.

I need to look for insurance some more, shower, catch up on chores, get ready to go get groceries/make the list....

Yesterday I remembered something.

So, I get up really early in the morning in the hopes of getting a little time to myself with the quiet.

On weekdays That Guy gets up at 4 and so do I. I make sure I'm up and out of bed, downstairs, drinking my coffee before he gets out of the shower so he doesn't come kneel down and try to stick his dick in my face every morning.

He leaves at 5.

Then, if I'm lucky, Son will stay in bed until 6 but he usually gets up at 5 because That Guy stomps and slams and insists on having a conversation or giving me a lecture first thing in the morning when I'm not even awake, yet.

This morning it was "Our son doesn't know some specific information which is not available to him and he's disrespecting me by not having this information that doesn't exist can you figure it out but don't tell him you're figuring it out behind his back because I want him to do it even though he can't." Again.

Son leaves at 7.

On the weekends I often wake up around 5 or 5:30 and try to sneak out of bed

Usually, Son is already awake and he gets up as soon as he hears me moving around in the house. He starts immediately with noise videos, noisy apps, transcribing music, etc. and he talks the whole time. Louder, and louder, and louder with the occasional "Dad's asleep, still, watch your volume [because I'd like him to stay that way]" from me.

Often That Guy is woken up by me getting out of bed and also gets up because he's suddenly Alone and that's unacceptable.

Yesterday, I was up and trying to work on something on the computer, Son got up and started in but I've gotten pretty good at both engaging with him and continuing to work, then That Guy got up and demanded my full attention constantly.

I snapped at him a bit saying I was busy and leave me alone, which I feel bad about, but if I'm sitting in front of a screen, typing, with multiple resource tabs open, actively researching and processing information, I don't need a play-by-play of every fart, the fact the house is cold like every winter, and what he's eating/drinking, and are you still working are you still working are you still working I want to play video games and you have to watch.

...

It reminded me of a time at my grandma's house when my aunt and I were still young. My aunt is 5 years younger than I am, so we are close in age.

Grandma put us to bed in her bed, which was a queen, and my aunt kept scooting over so she was basically on top of me. I told her to move and give me space, but she wouldn't.

I got up and went to the other side of the bed repeatedly in the night and every time she'd scoot over on top of me again.

Eventually I took a blanket into the living room to sleep on the couch, and she followed me there, too.

In the morning I complained to grandma and she said I was being mean and my aunt just wanted to cuddle and be close to me.

What I needed didn't matter.

-

That persists. It doesn't matter that I need time to myself. I'm expected [by That Guy] to pay attention to Son at all times and to pay attention to That Guy at all times.

The only time I get truly to myself is very early in the morning if I'm lucky enough the boys stay in bed, or for about an hour at night because I go to bed earlier than everyone else on purpose.

This is why I call Monday my recovery day, but I don't get Monday, either. Monday is groceries day.

Even if I try going down to the basement, That Guy starts stomping around overhead as hard as he can, just to remind me he's up here, he's Alone, I'm not doing what he wants me to do, and he's bored.

It doesn't matter how much I beg the people around to please, please just get off of me.

It's very frustrating.

-

Anyway, that's all part of why I'm so hard focused on the basement right now, I guess.

Desperately trying to regain control of literally anything, trying to find a quiet place where I can breathe, trying to feel human again.