#i was so lost until you came and found me

[livwritesstuff]

Eddie and Steve and their three daughters are sitting around the kitchen table one evening when four-year-old Hazel asks –

“Now that I’m here, are you gonna get married soon?

Steve blinks.

The question isn’t entirely out of left field – not for Hazel, anyway, whose preschool teacher got married a few weeks ago and came back with all kinds of pictures and stories. Apparently, Hazel’s been eating it all up, and she’s their most romantical kid, so to speak, so that’s not really a shock.

Thing is, Eddie and Steve are already married – have been for six years this past May, so…

“Uh, we are married, Hazy-Jay,” Eddie answers before Steve has a chance to say anything.

Hazel’s face falls, her mouth parting.

“Huh?”

Steve inwardly cringes.

“You got married before?” Hazel asks, her chin quivering like she’s only a few moments away from tears (and she’s their most emotional kid too, so she probably is).

“People get married before they have kids, Hazel,” seven-year-old Robbie points out all matter-of-fact.

“Well,” Steve pauses, because, yeah, Robbie is mostly not wrong, but those pesky gay marriage laws had kept him and Eddie from getting married until Massachusetts finally legalized it in ‘04 (when Moe was three and Robbie six-ish months old and Hazel still two years away). He’s pretty sure that level of nuance might be lost on their four-year-old though.

“Not Dad and Papa,” Moe cuts in, “Me and you were there, Robbie.”

“Moe,” Eddie mutters, “Not helping.”

“What?” Moe shrugs, “It’s true!”

Hazel looks positively devastated by this information.

“Why didn’t you wait for me?”

“Well, hon, we didn’t know you were coming,” Steve tries, “We didn’t know any of you were coming!”

“That’s not true,” Moe points out, “You knew about Robbie.”

“Moe,” Eddie hisses.

Steve reaches behind him to snag a framed photo of him and Eddie and Steve and Moe and Robbie all smiling at the camera on the steps of Boston City Hall off the shelf it perches on.

“You know this picture?” he asks as Hazel climbs into his lap. She nods, “This is from the day Dad and I got married.”

“It doesn’t look like a wedding,” Hazel says skeptically, her nose all scrunched up. 

“‘Cause it wasn’t really a wedding,” Steve tells her, “We got married at a courthouse in Boston – same courthouse where we adopted you and where we adopted Moe and where we adopted Robbie.”

“Why did you adopted us?”

“Well, you know how sometimes we take emergency foster placements every once in a while and we’ll have a new friend for a few days?”

Hazel nods.

“Dad and I used to do that all the time,” he continues, “and that’s how we met Moe, and so for two years it was just me and Daddy and Moe, and then we found out that you guy’s mom was gonna have another baby, and then we met Robbie.”

“And then me?”

“And then you,” Steve nods, “It was me and Dad and Moe and Robbie for three years, and then one day we found out that your mom had another baby, and that was you.”

Hazel wordlessly mulls this over for a bit, and then she lets out a pensive little sigh.

“If you would’a known about me before, would you wait?”

“To get married? Of course we would’ve waited.”

“And then maybe you would’a had a real wedding?”

“Maybe,” Steve affirms, even though…probably not, because that shit is expensive and, seriously, nothing out there could have prepared Steve for the reality of their college savings goal doubling overnight.

“Where is our mom now?” Hazel then asks.

Moe, helpful as always, cuts in with, “She’s dead now.”

“Moe,” Eddie exclaims for the third time, “Jee-eez, read the room please!”

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

I always feel pretty dumpy after getting dumped. Tonight was no different. I decided to walk the grounds one last time, and the tranquil beauty of the gardens seemed extra mean somehow. Like I was walking through something beautiful that I never even got a chance to miss. No chance to enjoy. Just rejection. Again. And the same message, though at least this time they tried to be kind about it.

Please never practice magic like that again. Bards were mages until you were too good at singing. Then things got suspicious to the headmasters. Song could be such a powerful tool and manipulate people across the field the way that death could. Put death and song together and humans always got so uncomfortable. And when it came to humans, nothing was more unlucky than a sweet death. They say the way they want to die is old and in bed surrounded by their families but...it's never true. Every single one of them secretly yearns for some kind of glory in their hearts, and it just rots and rots and rots as they age. I'd know. I'm human too. But I'm also banshee and people can just feel it. Especially those who are academically inclined. In some cultures they saw us as prophets... until they learned that the angels sing in our ears and fall out of our throats. Also people only like the idea of prophets. Tell them enough future truth and they start looking for the matches and rope. Or a crucifix.

Bewitchment. Enchantment. Manipulation. No one wants to invite a banshee to the table where everyone is sweet and happy and alive with rosy cheeks and laughing eyes.

I'm an omen. It's kind of lonely. But I get it. I suppose if I were someone else I'd feel the same.

I found myself in a gazebo near the tallest of the little sculpted waterfalls in this garden. I liked the way the water sang and flowed as it poured itself over the rocks. It was summer, so there were fireflies, and I could get back to being lost in my thoughts a bit as I watched the way they all twinkled around each other. My son used to say they were all teleporting. I laughed at him, kissed the top of his head, and earmarked that for later because that might be something he ends up being keen at. My daughter used to say she had the power of the forest when she was very young, and gods if she couldn't tell you exactly what creatures were thinking when they wanted something. The more specific the better with my daughter.

I shifted, crossing my legs over each other and anchoring my elbows on the wooden railing and letting my chin fall heavily into my palms. I closed my eyes and breathed slowly, trying to catch and understand the direction and pattern to the way the wind blew tonight. The air smelled like roses and jasmine and I looked up to see the little white flowers hanging from their vines right above me. There were lanterns of golden light and everything felt smoky and indigo. A moonlit darkness that was so easy to see around but too misty to see through.

Was it the song, I wondered? I replayed the interview in my mind. I've been learning how to perform on a stage and have gotten to this point where I fall fully into the music. I don't let my mind control the song anymore, but trust my heart to attune and express it authentically. Sometimes my heart sounds drunk or bitter. Sometimes it sounds like delight and perfection. Today... I couldn't remember. I'd found that I could trick people into thinking maybe I was some sort of reformed cleric turned bard if I sang religious songs. Today I considered a shanty because those work too. But in the end I settled on a lullaby and at first everyone looked peaceful and happy but then that look came into their eyes when they realized where they were and what was going on.

Someone told me once that it was frightening to find yourself suddenly disarmed, especially if being vulnerable wasn't something you were used to being with people. I saw that happen in real time today, and suddenly understood what he meant.

Yay, more awareness.

That brought a bit of temper to my system so I stood up and walked over to the stream to sit down. The grass was wet but I didn't care. I took off my shoes and put them into the water that ran clear and cold over a stone bottom. It was deep enough to cover my ankles. I put my palms to the earth behind me, took a deep breath, and let my head fall back as I sighed it out.

I was so fucking disappointed.

But, I'd still done it. I took the chance. I learned something. All of it sucked. I'd maybe built a few sandcastles in my mind about how my life would fit into the routine that school would have brought me. I let myself sit and grieve what was never mine but still felt lost to me. I imagined the tide of this rejection crushing all the sandcastles in one giant wave. I felt my emotions rise out of my heart, making my throat sore, took another deep breath, and sighed as I let the tears release the sadness and flow down my cheeks like the current at my feet.

Fuck, I really really wanted something else to happen. I wanted the outcome I wanted. And I didn't want any other outcome. I didn't want to go to another school. I didn't want to look at other schools. I didn't want to be a bard if I couldn't go to this school. I didn't want anything.

My body shook with a little sob as my shoulders slumped back.

I didn't want anything ever again and-

Suddenly I was laughing, and I just collapsed. I laughed and cried at the same time and rolled around in the grass. If I was going to be a fucking child like this about this I was going to commit and be a child. My heart was broken a little bit and the grass was so wet and awful but it smelled so good. I closed my eyes and cursed as I realized my hair was going to be wet now that I did this and...

There was a cough and a "Ma'am?"

I froze like a rabbit. Then I closed my eyes tighter just in case this was a dream and I could escape the inevitable embarrassment of someone from the school that rejected me seeing me rolling around in the grass like an animal. The moments clicked by awkwardly and I didn't cut to the next scene, so I opened my eyes to face the music.

Security guard. Handsome. I always liked a man in uniform. Flirting was not going to help me escape embarrassment but it could make this story more interesting. As though he were reading my mind, his face darkened with an expression that read plainly don't even try it. Great, a challenge. The only thing I can't resist. His arms crossed as we both seemed to take in each other's character in this particular moment. He scowled deeper.

I sat up like a naughty child and patted at my hair, then shook it out like a dog would. He was watching closely. My head tilted to the side and I beamed angelically. "Sorry, you caught me making grass angels," I chirped merrily.

In order to be admitted to a magic school potential students only need to provide irrefutable proof that they are mages, yet, despite your very obvious abilities, you were rejected with a comment asking you to "please never practice magic again".

[kill4luvina]

✧ Never Again ✧

"I got a feeling one of these days You'll be the reason I stay Way you whine, girl, you make me insane"

PossisiveBf!TojixBlack!Reader 

CW - Modern, Overly Possisive Toji, OOC, Toji Smoking, Unprotected Sex, Public Sex, Breeding Kink, Creampie. Probbably more but I’m lazy and not proofread. (I havent posted in so long give me a break.)

Summary: You and your boyfriend of 3 years go out on a date to celebrate when you run into a old friend who obviously can’t read the room. In a hurry to finish the short reunion your boyfriend leaves angrily waiting for you outside the car to ready to take his frustration out on you. 

“Tojii, this place is so wonderfu!” You’d gasp holding onto his arm in awe, as you both entered the dimly lit restaurant. Your eyes glued to the white plaster sculpture of a winged figure riding a horse above you two. Your boyfriend woud smile knowing you loved sculptures and this would be the perfect place to spend you 3rd anniversary.

After being seated , about 30 minutes later you were caught off guard by a figure behind you. You quickly turn to see a bright smile. Gojo, one of your old friends from High school who seemed to have not aged a day over 20. Though you knew he was around 25, you smile back greeting him with a wave. “How are you?” He asked. 

You glanced over to your boyfriend who looked unbothered before bringing your full attention back to Gojo. “Oh I’m doing wonderful, You?” You smiled happy to see him, the last time you two spoke waas at the end of after a trip with your high school friend group. You two soon lost track of time talking for almost 15 minutes! 

You notice Gojo give a strange look before looking around in confusion. You turn to see Toji’s gone, your heart dropping. “I-” you couldnt form words wondering how long he had been gone for, if he left you or what. You struggle to make a sentence before gojo smiles a nods. “Go on, it’s my fault i interrupted.” 

You’d smile, “It was nice seeing you!” you’d say quickly getting up and speed walking to the entrance of the restaurant. Your silver glittery heels slightly slowing you down, which made you quickly take them off as soon as you got outside panicking as you jogged to where he had parked. “Toji?!” You’d call out startled when you didnt see his car for a moment.

“Right here mamas.” He’d answer from a little farther down making you sigh quickly, seeing the smoke from his blund rising into the dark night. You’d slowly walk to the direction of his voice until you saw him standing against his blacked out Lamborghini Aventador. “Toji, I’m sorry I got so caught up in the conversation..” You’d say looking at the ground.

He’d huff ignoring your apology just hitting the blunt, his eyes not even moving in your direction. He’d stand there silently listening to pleas, as you kept apolging, tears filling your eyes as you started to sniffle. Your voice cracking as you came closer to him pulling on his suit begging him to even look at you. 

“Y/n.”  Your heart would completely sink, he only ever called you by your name when you really fucked up. You’d look up at him, and he was now looking down at you. His eyes cold and low as he blew some smoke into your face. The Earthy scent mixed with his La Nuit De L'homme Yves Saint Laurent colonne making you weak. 

“Y-yes?” You’d answer, eyes watering even more scared at what he might say this time. “Mamas, what’d I’d tell you about guys talking to you?” He’d tilt his head, his eyes softening up as he noticed your tears starting to roll down your face. “N-not to pay them any mind, and I’m sorry he was an old friend!” You’d try to explain only to be shut up with a kiss. 

“I’ll let you get away with this one because it’s our anniversary. But you owe me one thing..”

You don’t know what possessed you to let this happen but you found yourself getting fucked agasint this mans car. Lamborghini to be specific, out in a public parking lot. 

“T-Tojii-” You’d whine feeling him drill in and out of your squelching pussy, tightening around him as you heard footsteps nearing. “Shh, they’re gonna hear..” He’d chuckle knowing they were going to see anyway. “F-fuckk. too deep-!” you’d cry as you felt him bury himself as deep as possible. His smirk grew as he watched a couple gasp seeing this. 

You’d let out a loud moan feeling him slap your ass, your dress pulled up to your waist and laced panties in his right hand. “Your being too loud..” He’d whissper in your ear still fucking your now creamy pussy. “How about..” Failing to fight back you found your panties now shoved in your mouth to shut you up, your eyes tearing up in embarrassment as you saw another man walk past. 

Unfortunately for you, it was someone you knew. The person who started all of this, you felt your tears start to pour as you couldn’t stop moaning from the pleasure but the embarrassment was too much. “Y/n?” He’d titled his head to the side in shock, feeling himself get hard before quickly walking off trying to pretend he never saw.

“Toji!” You’d scream muffled by the fabric in your mouth, you quickly spit it out turning back to look at him. He’d without hesitation push your head against the car window, “who’s a good slut?’ He’d ask fucking you even faster as you felt yourself reaching the edge. Your eyes rolling back as he brought one of your legs up to fuck you deeper. 

“Omg! Fuckkk!” You’d cry cumming all over his dick, feeling him thrust into you a few more times before letting his load out in you. “Look at you, a little cum dump.” He’d snicker as he pulled out, giving your ass a little slap before picking your heels & purse from the floor. You’d feel yourself get picked up and gently placed in the car. 

“Never do that shit again.” He’d say coldly before givng you a kiss on your forehead and coming around the to the drivers seat. You’d sit there silently just rethinking your life as you felt yourself drip  your boyfriends cum onto his expensive seats.

Little did the both of know of a few cars down sat gojo in his own car, windows rolled down half way, cum all over his stomach & chest. Breathing heavily with the feeling of embarrassment overwhelming him. He had sat there listening to you, just to get off to his fist? He didn’t feel okay after that one yet he loved every moment of it while it was happening.  

yall should i make a part 2 with gojo telling u to leave ur bf :)

"Bad man looking good in Dior Bad man drip to the core Sport car's parked on the right spot Bad man sleek and you know"

[loulovingho]

What made me furious and decide not to watch the rest of S8 (at least live, until and unless they fix bucks storyline) is the goddamn fact that Tim literally did this to fuck with the general audience who were finally getting back on track and getting interested in Bucks storyline like goddamn.

If you shot 8x06, BEFORE 8x05, why make 8x05 the way you made it???????? Just make Tommy a bit more of an asshole??? ((I'm not even kidding!!!)) Like you COULD have made him be dismissive of Bucks obsession with the 'curse', you could have made him feel bitter and slightly projecting on Buck's found family ((a throw away line like how 'oh didn't know you had a group text, frown)) something, ANYTHING that would have made us feel a bit more prepared for 8x06 and Buck's 1.0 era??! ((And btw YES it is biphobic to suggest that bi people need to sleep around to figure out what they want, for god's sake Oliver, just don't do episodic interviews anymore I BEG)).

But instead, we get sweet, understanding Tommy, we get fluffs pillow softly and talks as a non believer to a ghost Tommy, we get excited for love again Buck, and THEN you do this?????!!!

Unforgivable. Fuck you Tim. You've just told millions of people in a shitty af political climate that older gay men who struggle with their need for survival and loneliness that they're gonna end up alone if they date a bi man. Sorry that's AN interpretation. It is LOUSY representation. It is LOUSY and cruel writing. You messed with in a too big way on this one. So. Yes. Lost this viewer. Peace.

Yes to all!! They could have made Tommy more standoffish, could have had Eddie at the funeral instead. Or, if they had to do a breakup, have it be from Buck’s side. Because, out of the two (in 805) the love and adoration came mostly from Tommy. They did the whole thing just to be shitty.

[brummiereader]

Binding Love (Part Three/ Dark!Tommy)

Summary: An evening of drinks gets quickly interrupted by your husband's paranoia and demand for answers. How far will Tommy go in his quest to keep you as his wife? And will you ever learn of the sinful acts he's kept buried?

Warnings: Dark!Tommy, language, violence, psychological mind games, controlling behaviour, toxic relationship, manipulative behaviour, psychological abuse, mutual pining, angst, murder.

Word Count: 4.5K

[Masterlist] [Previous Part] [Trailer]

"So drinks on you, yeh Tom?" Arthur sniffed with an eager grin, rubbing his hands together as Tommy pulled the key from the ignition, silently surveying the dimly lit bar until his eyes found you sat behind the foggy window with a glass of wine perched between your fingers, your plump lips smiling to the unknown man accompanying you.

"What's with him?"John quietly muttered, resting his arm on the back of Arthur's seat as he cocked his head to your husband whose lack in response had both brothers regretting the night they had planned in the Garrison for an evening with Tommy's sour mood, and now, questionable motives.

" Y/N" Arthur mumbled back, following with a huffy sigh as Tommy's heart began to rapidly thud within his chest, a cold film of sweat settling on his creased brow as he took in the gutt punching sight of you sat in an intimate setting with somebody that wasn't him.

And then it came, a hand to your back, a brush of a thumb over your clothed skin. The catalyst that would stop him watching silently on the sidelines with gritted teeth, impatiently waiting for you to become aware of his presence before all restraints were lost, and he made himself known in true, Tommy fashion.

You had lied to him, Tommy's jaw clenched as he threw open his door, slamming it shut with enough force to rattle its metal frame before his heavy steps stormed along the cobbled path to the small, rickety tavern door. Lied.

" I'm sorry for wasting your time, Mr Wyatt" you looked into your glass, swirling the last of your Bordeaux into a crimson whirlpool as you regretted each spoken word that had your future slipping away from you.

" I just don't think I'm quite ready after not having worked for so long. And then there's my daughter, she needs me" your cheeks reddened with embarrassment, doubting your ability with a cascade of excuses, that you, you, would be a valued employee in a reputable company your husband would see it met its demise if you dared to take the job without his consent.

" I understand" the suited gentlemen replied with a brief, reassuring hand to your back.

"The position is yours, for when you're ready" he promised, giving you a way to enter the workforce as an independent woman, free form the constraints of your husband after things had settled between you both.

" Thank you, really" you replied with an appreciative smile, tucking a rebellious lock behind your ear as you brought your handbag into your lap.

" One for the road?" The raven haired man suggested, nodding to your glass as he scooted of his wooden chair to his feet.

" Oh...ok, why not" you nervously clutched your fingers around your clasped bag, eager to leave after having wasted his day, to get through the barrage of questions without hassle you knew awaited you when you returned home.

Eyes scanning the room, you held your breath as your gaze darted from every lone man to every darkened corner, expecting to see one of your husband's henchmen keeping a watchful eye on you.

But with the absence of Tommy and any punter sporting the infamously coiffed cut, you breathed a sigh of relief as a sense of normality to your evening relaxed your nerves.

Maybe Tommy had truly meant what he said? That he would try harder, change for the best? your chest filled with hope, dousing the flames of frustration you had with your husband's constant attempts to control your every move as you let yourself settle comfortably into your chair next to the crackling fireplace illuminating the lowly lit room.

Closing your eyes, you basked in the warmth of the flames heating your cheeks when a gust of wind followed by a scattering of crisp leaves drifted into the bustling pub as the paneled door swung open to the ring of the bell hovered over its frame.

Clutching your body from the sudden rush of cold, your eyes opened to the sound of the landlord lowly greeting his newest customer as a familiar, gravelly voice seeped its way through the rowdy laughs of men and women spending their weekly pay. Tommy.

"Fuck sake, 'ere we go" Arthur mumbled, faced with Tommy's true intentions for the night as he ushered John to the bar for the double whiskey, urgently calling his name.

With glaring eyes and long determined strides, your husband closed the distance between you as your spine stiffened with readiness, head nervously darting back and forth between Mr Wyatt and Tommy's feral stare, weighing him up with each heavy step when his attention snapped to you as you rose to your feet.

" Sit" he commanded as he pulled out the chair opposite you, calmly reaching in his suit jacket for a cigarette as you slid down into the wooden stool with widened eyes.

" Tommy i..." you stopped yourself as you watched him blow a billow of smoke to the ceiling, the fumes momentarily clouding the empty space between you until you were met with his darkened stare silently staring back at you like a disappointed parent would with their unruly child. The sight alone, enough to have your heart plummet to your stomach with dread.

For a silent Tommy, a scheming, concocting Tommy, was the worst version of your husband anyone would have the unfortunate pleasure of facing.

And yet here you were, your status as his wife not enough to save you from his anger and the torturous wait you'd endure until he finally snapped.

" I brought you here, remember? Our fifth date?" he broke the heavy silence that had settled above you both as you swallowed back your apprehension to talk, nodding to the memories he wanted to indulge in.

"Was quite eager to get out of here by the end of the night" his lips creased with a boyish smile, tapping the ash from the coiled cylinder of tobacco into the glass tray next to him.

"And if my memory serves me right, so were you" he leaned back in his chair, pointing to you with his cigarette perched between his fingers as he exuded the charm and allure you fell for all those years ago, your cheeks blushing at the glimpse of the man you had married.

With knowing looks mutually shared, you let yourself slip into the memory of that evening as Tommy's hand reached for yours, thumb brushing longingly over the indent where your wedding ring once sat, his hooded eyes drifting up to the soft smile dimpling your cheeks as your fingers danced in unison around his.

" And now that night's been stained" his mood suddenly changed as he dragged his hand along the wooden table away from you, the seething tone of his voice ambushing the foolish sentiments you still had for him, the shift away from his former self you'd spend nights yearning for brutally snatched from your hands.

" We were just having a celebratory drink, Tommy. I got the job, but...but..." You let the rest of your words fall to the back of your tightening throat, knowing the unconvinced cock of your husband's brow enough to come to the quick conclusion that he not only found your explanations feeble, but laughable. Convinced that your limited skills and work experience weren't adequate enough to get you a job you wouldn't have to flirt your way through for.

" Our daughter was asking after you, asking where you were before she went to bed" his brow of judgment lowered as he snapped his head away to the burning fire, abruptly changing the course of conversation to one that would have you feeling another dose of guilt for the day's events.

" Didn't have the heart to tell her that her mum's out fucking another man, ripping our family apart. Too busy for us, too busy to read her a bedtime story, give her a kiss goodnight. What are you not busy for, eh? he scoffed, knowing the exact combination of buttons to push to cause upset as he waited, watching your reaction in the corner of his eyes.

" Tommy that's not what's happening, it was just a drink" you began to panic, fearing the lengths your husband would go, the divide he'd drive between mother and daughter to get his way.

" I've not been with anyone, you know that" your eyes began to well with tears, feeling defeated by your six year olds name being brought into the conversation, from the heavy allegations he was now accusing you of.

" That so?" a small paper bag of ground ginger got tossed to you along with Tommy's rapidly seeping anger.

"You've been in my room?" Your eyes darted from the satchel of spices to the searing glare of your husband boring into you.

"Our room" he was quick to correct you, refusing to acknowledge your new living arrangements for what they really were.

" I can't sleep, I can't sleep because of you, Tommy. Because of you, because all of this, day in day out!" You snapped, throwing the bag at his chest as you stood up to leave, only to be dragged back down with a sharp pull of your arm.

"Here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna go outside and throw this shit up..." he seethed with disdain, wavering the packet in front of your teary eyes as he continued to believe his version of events.

" I won't" you interrupted, unwilling to cater to his paranoia as you whipped your head away from him.

" And if you dont...If you don't, eh?" He leant over the table, capturing your chin between his fingers, forcing you to acknowledge him. "I'll fucking make you. Understood?" you struggled with his tightening grasp, attempting to get away from his raging jealously and the spiral of paranoia he was adamant on bringing you down to meet him in the pits with.

" It's to fall asleep, Tommy. I'm not...I haven't been with anyone else" You shook your head of the tears pooled in your eyes, desperately trying to reason with the insanity that had overtaken any rational thought he had left.

"I won't have you seeing another man, do you understand me? I won't have my daughter around another fucking man, Y/n! Your dating life ends tonight" he abruptly pulled you into the table by your arm, his anger raging into your ear through gritted teeth.

" I'm not your wife, anymore. You don't get to do this, you don't get to tell me what I can and can't do!" the sting of your ribs hitting the wooden table, bubbling enough anger within you to bite back.

"But you are, sweetheart. By law, you still are" his fury rapidly sizzled out with a smug smirk as he let go, settling back into his chair as calmly as he first had.

" Excuse me, who are you?" Mr Wyatt suddenly appeared with two glasses of whiskey as you and Tommy stared each other down, your shaky body and tear-stained cheeks only a minor cause of concern for your husband, whose cold eyes continued to scold you.

" Here" Tommy pulled a note from the rolled bundle of cash within his jacket, sliding it into the man's chest pocket before taking the two tumblers of liquor he downed in succession.

" Go on then, fuck off" Tommy settled into his chair, ushering the man away like he was nothing but a busboy, slaving sixty hours a week taking orders from junked-up businessmen for minimum wage.

" I don't think he's listening to me, darling" Tommy's brow creased as he eyed up the man from head to toe who was stood momentarily stunned by the stranger who had not only taken his seat but whose brash attitude had just insulted him.

" Is this man bothering you, Y/N?" Mr Wyatt turned from the challenging stare of your husband to do the unthinkable, touch you.

Within the blink of an eye your husband snapped. Too quick for Arthur and John to react, too quick for you to pull him back. For in the mere seconds it took, Tommy had the man pushed up against the bar, a fist full of his collared shirt scrunched between his hands.

" First name basis, eh?" What were your plans with my wife tonight?" Tommy's fist began to twist the fabric of the man's shirt within his hand, cutting the oxygen from his heaving lungs.

" Tommy! Enough!" You screamed, trying to pull your husband from the man that had shown you nothing but respect, nothing but kindness.

" Fellas, fellas. Alright, come on now, ay?" Arthur settled his hand on his brother's straining arm, calmly nodding to the landlord behind the bar, that he, the eldest of the Shelby clan, had everything calmly under control for once.

"Nice suit" Tommy scoffed, patting down Wyatt's crumpled shirt before releasing his hand, taking in the terror he'd caused the fumbling man with a satisfied smirk.

"Here, have one on me" your husband tossed a coin to his feet, giving the man no choice but to lower himself to Tommy's game and pick up the penny in what one could only assume was your husband's way of belittling him even further.

Scoffing at the weak sight before him, Tommy's smirk quickly dissipated as he watched the gentleman who had accompanied you to the bar shoot you a look of both concern and mercy that you'd help him make it home unharmed.

" That's enough for tonight, ay Tom? Tom?" Arthur shook his shoulder with a firm shake, shaking him from the heavy silence that had descended over the room, that same concocting, scheming silence that had everyone tethering on the edge as to what your husband would do next.

Snapping his eyes away, Tommy turned to face the fear laced within yours as he rolled his shoulders, stare sheepishly darting away from you to clear his throat in attempt to recompose himself of the fury that was one stroke of a match away from igniting once again.

His anger with you had been laid bare for all to see, and as your husband waited for you to say something to mask the horrified face staring back at him, all you could do was stay silent. Concocting...scheming your way out of your dreaded marriage Tommy was hellbent on dragging everyone but himself down with.

Leaning the weight of your body onto the wooden table of your foyer, you kicked off your shoes one by one, silently glaring at your husband whose hooded eyes watched your every move over the tumbler of whiskey gripped between his fingers.

"How longs your silent treatment gonna last this time then, love? A day, a week?" A scoffing chuckle lowly rumbled from his chest as he swallowed back the last of the liquor, teeth baring at its sharp notes seeping down his throat.

"S'pose I deserve it" his brows rose to crease the thin lines on his temple as he settled his glass on the table beside him. The twisting pout of his lips enough to convince you that his version of taking the blame was in fact, a pitiful attempt to have you thaw the cold shoulder he didn't believe he deserved.

With no patience left to cater to his change in mood to one of self-pity as he brushed off the night's events, you turned for the staircase with determined steps in an attempt to distance yourself from his brooding temper.

" That's it then, eh? We're not gonna talk?" His eyes followed you as you reached the second floor of your home, catching the scoff that left your lips. A small show of defiance that had him bolting up after you within seconds.

Adamant on checking your daughter's well-being, you turned onto the dimly lit hallway with quiet steps when your course of trajectory got abruptly pulled in the opposite direction to your master bedroom.

"Eh! " He continued his attempts to have you face him, storming after your beeline for the adjoining bathroom as you removed the blouse that had started the argument as Tommy's reaching hands met with the slam of the door you had closed your self off behind with the turn of the lock.

"Y/N listen to me, you need to understand" he jostled the door handle with a frustrated sigh, eyes darting for something sturdy enough to pry it open as he kicked your discarded top to the side while you slipped your trembling body into your dressing gown.

He could kick it down, he thought to himself, settling his hands on his hips, deciding that he would be the better person and proceed like an adult instead of following the bratty behaviour you had shown.

" Darling I'm having a hard time with this, you're giving me a hard time. Open the door so we can talk" He rested the weight of his body with both hands laid flat on the bathroom door, shoulders looming over the dark shadow cast beneath him.

"You've lost yourself, Tommy" your sobbing response finally set itself free, the weeping admission enough to have your husbands clenched jaw grind away the truth he refused to face into passing words that held no weight.

" That man did nothing wrong, I did nothing wrong" you rested your body on the mahogany barrier separating you, head tilting back with a thud as your tears flowed free.

" I'm keeping you safe darling" a heavy sigh left his lungs as he propped his frame against the door.

"Y/N?" he waited on your response, hearing your breath drop with disappointment when a surge of nervousness heated your blood at the question that had suddenly crept into your thoughts after having seen Tommy's unpredictable temper that night.

" Tommy?" You turned on your side, cheek pressed up against the door as your trembling hand settled on the polished wooden, nervously picking at its carved frame as a wave of panic suddenly hurtled towards you.

"What...what did you do to that officer? Tell me?" the worst of your imaginative thoughts, of the potential horrors your husband could have inflicted, flashed before your eyes.

"You know his partner's been hounding me, don't tell me you don't. You have me watched every second of the day. Tommy?" You pleaded for answers as Tommy's pulsing veins ignited with irritation, his fingers curling into clenching fists at the mention of the man he was sure you had only accepted his offer of dinner to get under his skin.

" Open the door, sweetheart" Tommy calmly replied, fooling himself into believing he had a hold over his bubbling anger as you demanded answers for the whereabouts of the gentlemen you had spent mere hours with before his men put an end to your evening.

" What did you do?" You slowly opened the door to be met with your husbands glaring stare, shoulders broad on guard as his tunneling eyes spoke his guilt for him. "Tom?"

"Tommy?" came a sudden knock to the bedroom door, jolting you from the shackling feeling of you feet adhered to the flooring as you waited on bated breath for his response.

"Yeh, go on?" Your husband cleared his throat, head snapping to the sound of one of his men's voices from the landing.

" Cars outside" the peaky informed, dutifully waiting on his next orders.

"Bring it around to the fields" Tommy's eyes flew back to you as the sound of his henchman's feet drifted away, your opportunity for explanations drifting away with them.

" Hey?" He turned back to face you, slowly approaching as you ran your fingers through your hair, turning from his sudden need to comfort you, his need to have you forget the questions that plagued you.

"C'mere, come on" came your husband's soothing voice, seeing the beginnings of a steady stream of tears well in your eyes as you swayed your shoulders back and forth, trying to shrug his attempts to calm you away.

" Enough, eh?" He insisted pulling you into his chest as you internally battled back and forth with your pining for him, until you let your body fall into the warmth of his strong frame, satisfying the yearning as his hands soothingly ran through the locks of your hair.

" What happened to us, hm?" He lifted your chin to up to his softening gaze, gently brushing the tears from your cheeks as exhaustion took over every ounce of energy you had left. Too tired to fight with him again, too tired to release the internal screaming that was shouting his role in the downfall of your marriage.

" I'm just keeping you safe..." His lips hovered over yours, your body rippling with a layer of longing to feel close to him as his fingers brushed down the curve of your cheek, dragging his thumb over your parting lips as he took his chance to soothe the mutual want to reconnect with a kiss to your lips.

Stifling the climbing moan from within your throat, you let yourself be free of your tangled emotions, leaning in to his hypnotising hold on you as your husband's own needs intensified.

Fingers trailing down your spine, you body stepped in unison with him pulling you back to the edge of the bed as a throaty groan left his lips.

"I can't stand this anymore. Fuck sweetheart, let me back in..." his breathy declarations heated your lips as his fingers squeezed the flesh of your thighs between his fingers.

But as the sudden feeling of his bucking hips met yours, seconds from being pulled into the plush fabric covers that awaited your bodies, you stumbled back.

What was wrong with you? Had he that much of a hold over you, that you'd be so weak to give in? Forgetting everything he'd done? you thought to yourself, mumbling words of regret as you shook your head.

" You're playing with me" Tommy raised his brows, finger pointing accusingly as he matched your slow steps back to the safety of the bathroom.

" I'm just one big fucking game, to you eh?" His voice began to turn, his straining need for you left unsatisfied as you fumbled with the door handle behind you.

"Hey!" His voice snapped, body lurching forward as you threw open the door, slamming it shut with the turn of the lock.

" Fuck!" You felt the shudder of his hands slamming against the wood as your chest heaved.

Perching yourself on the edge of the bath, you buried your head in your hands, pulling at the strands of your hair in frustration for having led him on, for making him think you had suddenly overcome the six months worth of stress he'd inflicted on you as Tommy's hollering voice reemerged with furiosity.

" Give a woman your hand she'll take your fucking arm, eh Y/N? I spoilt you! " He continued his onslaught of newly founded revelations, fueled by the frustration he felt about having been turned down by his own wife.

"You don't need me now, is that is? Want to make it on your own? Then go ahead, darling. Have at it!" he snatched your blouse from the floor, throwing it at the doors of your wardrobe before pulling all your clothes out to join it.

" No need for me anymore, eh? No need for these clothes, this jewellery!" he tossed the ceramic tray of diamonds and gemstones on top of the pile of your belongings before pulling the empty suitcase from under your bed.

" Giving you a head start, Y/N. Cleansing you for this new fucking personality you've adopted, your new fucking life!" he bellowed, snapping out each seething word as he crammed your clothes in the small bag.

Handles of the suitcase clutched firmly between his straining fists, Tommy's chest heaved as he came down from the surges of anger that had spurred on his outburst as his eyes darted to the bathroom door, waiting for you to emerge and reconcile.

"Fuck it" he mumbled under his breath, storming from the silence that had returned.

" Good luck ,sweetheart!" The slam of the bedroom door had his rage abruptly come to an end as you let your body cave in on itself, the bellowing voice of your husband replaced with a wave of dread that you had landed yourself in an even more dire situation than before. Shit.

" Tommy" the stocky Irish man handed him a flask of whiskey your husband downed the last of within seconds as his frame shadowed the beaming headlights of the car behind him.

"Jesus, mother Mary. Not again Tom" Johnny Dogs lifted the car boot to see the beaten body of a man drifting in and out of consciousness as Tommy pulled the cuffs of his leather gloves around his wrists with a stretching snap.

" Do I get to know what he did before I commit my saintly soul to hell for a second time this month?" Tommy's trusted friend probed as your husband dragged Mr Wyatt from the car boot into the darkened woods.

" Looked at me the wrong way" Tommy replied, heaving his body with strained grunts to the empty grave Johnny had dug at the back of your grand home.

" That so, ay Tommy?" Dogs questioned who exactly looked at who. Sharp enough mind to know the demons that had taken over his friends troubled soul, loyal enough to turn a blind eye to the lengths both he and Tommy had gone to conceal his jealous rages.

" A hand, John boy" Tommy's reply fell short, knowing his explanations would have him questioning his slipping paranoia as his friend grabbed the arm of Mr Wyatt, pulling him with Tommy into the six foot earthy hole.

" Jesus Tom, it's starting to look like a bleeding cemetery down here" Johnny pulled a smoke from his waistcoat, observing his handy work he spent five hours digging.

Looming over the unfilled grave, Tommy waited as the man who had interviewed you began to stir, waking up from the blow to the head one of his men had inflicted on him in the struggle.

" No...no, no, no! Help!" He began to scream, hands digging at the freshly unearthed mud as Johnny handed Tommy his gun.

" Nobody will hear you all the way down here, Mr Wyatt" your husband filled the chamber of his weapon, the click of the safety releasing sending a haunting echo into the stary sky. "Not for long, that is"

" It was just a drink, I...I" he mumbled his pleas for mercy as Tommy knelt down, resting his arms on bent knees as a cloud of chilled air fogged his face.

" That's what they all say, don't they?" he scoffed, darkening eyes staring down at the sobbing man below him.

" You see Mr Wyatt, my wife doesn't understand the dangers of this world. She's too kind, too forgiving...naïve" he shifted the toe of his boot from the man's scrambling hands with a smirk of enjoyment as Wyatt desperately tried to pull himself out of his impending death.

"And as her husband, it's my duty to keep her safe from the wickedness of this world. Sniff out the good from the bad" the man's attempts to escape suddenly came to an abrupt stop as the twisting face of your husband began to seal his fate.

" And you Mr Wyatt, well..." He lifted his nose to the night sky, peaked cap shadowing the taunting smile as he played out the decision he had already made.

"I can only smell bad" he abruptly rose to his feet, shooting the victim of his paranoia point-blank in the head as a breathy exhale of satisfaction left his lips.

As the sound of Wyatt's lifeless body hit it's final resting place, Tommy's shaky fingers, pulsing with adrenaline took the cigarette waiting for him from Johnny's weathered hands.

" Fill her up Johnny" Tommy gave his final orders as his eyes darted to the bag of clothes he'd dragged down for their own ceremonial burial.

" Those too" he pointed to your belongings, to the blouse tucked within your clothes that had the night's events take a deadly turn.

Tossing his gloves onto the hood of the car, Tommy wiped the splattered blood sprayed on his face with the back of his trembling hands as he came down from his murderous high.

Best not to look your demons in the eye, he said to himself as his gaze drifted down to the bloody image of himself staring back at him in the reflection of his wedding ring.

Shake hands with the devil and walk past him, the words of his Aunt justified his sins as he turned on his heel and left, coat casting a gloomy shadow over the grave of his victim being filled next to the drying soil of the one feet from it.

Two graves, two dead bodies. Land enough to fill a whole field of those that came between your marriage. Tommy would stop at nothing to keep you as his wife. Nothing.

Next Part coming soon!

Tag list: @peakyswritings @justrainandcoffee @garrison-girl-08 @meadows5 @lavender-haze-01

@strangeobsessed @ttae-yong @lemonwithstupidity @lindsay00000 @mischievouslittlecreature

@jbrownta @lau219 @whereismymindnow @honeymoon8 @bruhidkjustwannaread @strrvnge

@paintedinpinks @edgyficuselastica

[enree9h]

COLD IMPULSES | pjs

pairing : bsf!jay x afab!reader

warnings : kissing, making out, slightly suggestive, angst if you squint, reader uses Jay as a rebound (almost), winter themes, use of nicknames, Jay is slightly (evidently) obsessed with the reader, wordy.

wordcount : 2.1k+

mdni

note : I really don't know what this is. I wanted to write this into a full length fic but lost motivation half way. Kinda want to come back to bsfjay one day tho.

Jay had never seen you cry. 

At least not break down in public, sniffing and glaring at a couple with a tear filled hateful gaze burning into their backs. He had never seen you this startled, this sad. It almost broke his own heart seeing you bring your fingers up to wipe your tear stained cheeks as you stood in the middle of a snow laden road hopeless and bleak. 

Jay could feel his skin heat up, the rage made the December cold leave his body. Oh how he wanted to walk up to that two timing bastard and punch him in the face, it would make such a fun late Christmas present. But he won't, he couldn't. He couldn't let the anger take over him when a whole lot of their friends clearly surrounded them. He couldn't cause a stir, especially not on the night of the new years eve. This had to wait another day. A new years gift sounded better anyway. 

Jay felt his mood grow sour at the sight of the familiar couple. They stood amidst the crowd, unaware of a glaring set of eyes- your eyes.

He remembers the day you'd called him up in the middle of night- nervous and ecstatic, and told him through a series of excited laughter and uneven pants how you had finally found the right guy after a string of doomed relationships. He remembers feigning happiness, remembers saying- with a strained voice, how happy he was for you. 

He should've trusted the pang of anxiety that thrummed in his chest the minute you'd told him who the guy was. Sim Jaeyun. 

Jay had never let jealousy taint his friendships but that night he'd hung up with a hollow feeling haunting him. The feeling only intensified from that day on. Each meeting, every text, all the parties he'd see Jake pulling a giggling you out of, left him gnawing at any and all possible ways to fill the gaping hole in his chest. So he did what he could to fade you into the background. Jumping back and forth between girls on a daily was one of the options but none of them could quite fill the hole in his chest because, after all, it was shaped like you. 

So when you came stumbling through the joyous crowd, eyes downcast, he did what he could to make you feel better. His heart almost gave out at the sight of you. At the sight of your flushed skin and glistening eyes. 

Jay knew he had to quiet down the loud thoughts of you and be present. 

At the sight of a familiar face, you drove in, your body crashing into Jay. A sob broke out of you at the feeling of warmth seeping into your trembling limbs. 

“Hey” Jay's voice is soft, “I'm so sorry”, it sends rumbles through your shivering body. He holds you until you stop shaking, his arms fastened around your waist, his body pressed against yours. But you cry until his sweater is soaked through and until you feel like you've let your anguish out. 

Minutes later when you feel his fingers thread into your hair- it's light and soothing, you breathe normally again. 

“I thought-” you sniff looking up at him, “he liked me Jay” Your voice trembles and Jay feels his anger bubbling, threatening to spill. 

“So many late nights” Jay feels your fingers wrap around his biceps as you move away and steady yourself. 

You feel him take your hand off his arm and into his own, “I know angel”, soon he is wiping the tears off your flushed skin. His hand comes to rest by your jaw and he feels his breath hitch at the sight of you leaning into his palm, your eyes looking up into his own. 

How could Jake? How could he just abandon you after months of being together? His hesitancy to make things real and concrete with you were the blaring red alarms Jay ignored. But he knew that inferring would only cost him his friendship with you so he pretended to be blind to anything and everything that was even remotely related to you or Jake.. 

“Do you want me to take you home?” 

You nod leaving his warmth to walk away from the place that now held sour memories of another failed relationship. 

The walk to the parking grounds goes by in haze because the next thing you remember is pulling him in the backseat. Your mind, hazy, vision clouded with lust- you couldn’t think straight. 

You straddle him soon after and Jay hears the loud thumping of his heart. The silence is comforting, the muffled sounds of songs from the winter fair seep in through the tiny gaps and into the car- they fill the silence.

Jay feels the burning intensity of your gaze and looks up to meet your eyes. Up close, they are even more mesmerizing. He'd always try and catch your eyes, a pathetic attempt to have you look into his own. He wanted to memorize it, memorize the colour of your eyes, the curve of your eyelids, the flutter of your lashes- everything. 

At that moment he had lost all consciousness. The faint glow from the lights of the Ferris wheel made your eyes glow in a whole new way. Jay swore he saw a glimmer of affection in them or was it lust? He couldn't tell them apart and in all honesty, he did not want to. 

Jay would take it as you'd want to give it to him. He didn't care what form your liking for him took, if you wanted to have him, he wanted you to know you could, easily. 

He'd give into it whatever you'd ask of him and not bat an eye because he has wanted you for so long now that the line between like and love had started to blur for him. 

“Jay” 

Your voice was soft, only for the two of you and Jay had already started replaying the sound of your whisper in his mind. 

 “Could you do something for me?” your fingers come to rest against his jaw and Jay is already nodding a yes even before the terms were laid out, “Kiss me like you mean it?” 

Jay felt his body give out at that.

Your eyes glowed with a tender want, a need to be liked by someone, be their sole need. You wanted to feel like you were the first choice and not the last resort. Jay wanted to hold your face in his hands and whisper against your lips, how he was willing to do all that in a heartbeat. How he would abandon everything and make you his only need, want and priority.

Of how he has always wanted to feel your body in his arms. Of how sounds of your sighs and whimpers he'd catch around day would keep him up at night. Of how he was ready to kneel and make you the sole purpose of his life. But he stayed quiet, words trapped behind his teeth, sealed by his lips. 

He couldn't say it out loud no when you were tangled up in your web of troubles. So when he leans in to catch your lips in a slow kiss he hopes, for tonight, that his hands and his frantic heart end up saying all that for him instead. 

Your lips are hurried against his and Jay feels your impatience but it stands as a striking contrast to the gentle touch of your hands. You take your time to run your fingers over the skin of his neck and the slope of his shoulders. Soon your lips find those spots. Jay lets you take the lead, do whatever you wish, however you like. 

His skin is left painted with the shimmering red of your lip gloss, it covers his neck- almost every inch of it is covered in you. When you don't come up to meet his lips Jay takes your face in his hands and guides your lips to his. It's gentle and slow but you crash your lips onto his with a new haste. 

Jay feels your hands roam over the wool of his sweater and suddenly he's too hot, the heat is too much so he pulls it over his head in an instant. 

It catches you in a great deal of surprise and you have to physically hold yourself back from tainting his honey toned skin with your lips. But your hands don't stay still for long. So as they make their way across the slants and slopes of his abs and arms your lips move against his at a slower pace. 

“Jay” you whisper against his mouth and he feels his mind go blank. 

“What is it, angel?” he manages but it leaves you gasping for air, the name makes your wandering fingers go still for a fraction of a second. His voice sends shivers down your heated body and at that point in time your mind stays clouded with him, only him, only Jay. 

“He has never kissed me,” you say gazing into his eyes, “the way” your forehead rests against his, “you do” Your lips stretch into a smile and you feel your heart beat against your rib cage- fast but steady. You knew you were being genuine, you meant every word that fell out of your lips but to Jay, they sounded like words whispered under the influence of the event from minutes ago, like maybe you wished it was not him but someone else in place of him. 

“Do you really mean that?” Jay's voice carried a light tremble, he was bracing for what was going to come out of your mouth. But you simply nodded a yes and leaned in for another kiss only this time he could feel his chest tighten because he couldn’t not bring himself to believe that you meant it.

Was it sadness? Or was it disappointment? 

When your fingers fiddled with the zipper of his jeans Jay felt every other thought dissolve into the swirling lust that grew behind his eyes. 

Soon enough he finds you- half naked and breathless, pressed against his chest, leaning in for another kiss. This time it lasts longer, this time you make sure the red of your starwberry lipgloss leaves his mouth stained that colour. This time you meet his tongue halfway as you pant into his mouth burning for more. 

You feel his hands slip around your waist, his fingers- slender and gentle, sit on the slope of your hips. Your lips leave his and soon find the honey stretch of the skin of his neck. When you suck on it Jay feels his mind go fuzzy because he had never imagined that the sole touch of someone’s lips could drive him this insane- gnawing and clawing for more. 

When you feel the tip of his clothed cock graze your core you bite your lips. But it doesn't last long. Because the next second Jay is grabbing your hips and pushing you down on him. 

Jay feels you groan into the crook of his neck, your whimpers seep into his skin and leave him breathless. 

His fingers dig into your skin, despite the dropping temperature your bodies lay slick with sweat. 

“I don't think” , his lips leave hastily “ this is a good idea.” 

His words, whispered yet loud, leave you thinking. And it dawns in you, the situation, you and him. You in his lap, clothes in a messy bundle on the front seat of his car. The same car you've been in and out of several times. Years of shared memories come rushing back and the guilt renders you speechless. 

“Can you drive me home?” you say detaching yourself from him, eyes downcast. 

Jay feels his body lose heat, your warmth and he hates the lack of it, the lack of you. But there was nothing he could do to make it go back to the point where you were pressed against him- breathless.

“Hey” his hands come to rest on your jaw all while you fight to meet his gaze. 

“Look at me” and so you do even though the voices in your head scream and yell at you for giving in to a messy impulse. It would've been fine if it were any other guy but not him, not Jay. That would be unfair. 

“I want you to know” his eyes are the most earnest, they glow and you can almost see warmth swirl in the depths of his browns. “That if you want me to pretend this did not happen” his tone is laced with a hidden disappointment and having caught onto that only makes you feel worse. 

“I will” 

You want to cry, sob and hide into the crook of his neck but you can't. You have so much to say but the only thing that comes out of your mouth in a hushed whisper is “I'm sorry” 

You are pulled into him that very instant, his arms cage you against his half naked torso. You don't fight the hug. 

[sassypossum]

Unexpected

Loki x Reader • enemies to lovers

You never asked to be put on assignment with the one being you can't stand, and you certainly didn't ask to be called a shrew...

“Whatever anomaly you thought was out here Stark, is gone, if it ever was here.” Leaning forward in his chair, Loki pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

“Huh, my sensors have never been wrong before.” Tony’s voice crackled through the responder.

“I’m telling you there isn’t anything out here.” Loki hissed into the microphone again.

“You win some you lose some I guess, bring her on home, Reindeer games.” Flicking off the switch, Loki rolled his eyes at the nickname. He’d always found Stark’s pension for absurd names taxing. Turning towards the window of the shuttle Loki took a moment to observe as stars and meteors whirred past them through the expanse of space. Flipping a switch, Loki placed the craft on autopilot and leaned back in his chair.  and   Tap, tap. Loki closed his eyes and shifted in his seat.  Tap, tap.

“Can you please stop.” Loki sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Turning in your seat you narrowed your eyes at him.

“Stop what?” Tap, tap. Loki’s eyes drifted to the pen in your hand.

“That incessant clicking.” Raising a brow, you rubbed the top of the pen and gave him a sly grin.

“Does it bother you, Loki?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” Shrugging your shoulders, you turned back towards the monitor in front of you. Loki leaned back in his chair and regarded you suspiciously. As the seconds ticked by, and you did nothing more than reach for one of the tablets, Loki closed his eyes and relished the silence. Tap, tap.

“Honestly, Y/N.” Loki leapt from his chair and towered over you. “Is it absolutely necessary for you to make that awful noise.” You slowly placed down your pen and folded your arms. Leaning forward in your chair, you came nose to nose with Loki and challenged his glower with an equally scathing look of your own.

“Maybe.” It had been like this ever since the two had met. You couldn’t recall a single time that you’d seen eye to eye or agreed on anything. Raising a brow, you took in his measure and smirked. A muscle twitched in his jaw, and fire flashed in his eyes. Yes, you’d been at each other like cats and dogs since the beginning, and as far as you were concerned, it could stay like that.

“You know what you are, Y/N?” Loki eased back, folding his arms. You felt your confidence waiver as you watched his features go bland. Though his face remained impassive, it was the spark in his eyes that brought you to your feet in challenge.

“What, Loki?” The pair were so lost in your irritation that youfailed to notice a blip on the screen.

“A shrew.” He whispered leaning closer. Your jaw dropped and you took a step back.

“I’m sorry, did you just call me a shrew?!

“If the shrew fits.” Loki grinned down at you. “Oh, I’m sorry,” Placing a hand over his heart, he shook his head before looking back up at you slowly. “I do believe the expression goes, ‘if the shoe fits.” Folding your arms, you barked out a laugh.

“Oh, yeah, well, Loki, you know what you are?”

“I’m dying to know.” Loki chuckled in amusement. Stepping closer so you were chest to chest, you glanced down at where your arms almost touched and leaned your head back and narrowed your eyes until they were practically slits. Leaning forward, he all but brushed your nose with his. “I’m waiting, darling.” A hitching sound in your throat drew his attention from your eyes to your lips. He’d never noticed how soft they looked. He wondered how they might feel against his…

“You’re a pain in my-“A piercing whistle split the air around you, drawing you out of your little trance. The shuttle began violently shaking, and you locked eyes with Loki just before the lights flickered out. Taking in your frantic expression, Loki reached out towards you.

“Y/N, take my hand!” Stretching out his hand, he shouted over the rattling sound of something pelting the hull of the shuttle. Your eyes flickered towards the ceiling before locking back on Loki. He stood with his hand outstretched, face firmed into a reassuring expression. Feeling the shuttle lurch sharply to the left, you blindly fished for his hand. A strong grip enfolded your hand just as the shuttle lurched to the right, sending you straight into the admittedly firm form of your cabin mate.  You’d hardly had time to think about the warm arms that were wrapped around you before the cabin was engulfed in a bright light.

Loki tensed, wrapping his arms more tightly about you. Burying your face in his shoulder, you wrapped your own arms about his waist and clung to him. The light seemed to be growing brighter, and as it brightened, a strange sensation flowed through your body. Peeling your face away from his shirt, you looked into Loki’s eyes to see your own panic mirrored in his.

“Did you,” He nodded wordlessly.  With a final rattle, the bright light dissipated, and the shuttle came violently to a stop. It wasn’t until the lights began to flicker back on and the alarms stopped that either of you realized that you were still wrapped around each other. Jumping apart, each of you attempted to correct your appearances. Turning away, you fiddled with the buttons on your shirt, all the while keenly aware of Loki’s eyes on you.

“Are you alright, Y/N?” His voice was laced with concern.

“Fine.” Clearing your throat, you rested a hand on the back of your chair and began examining the monitors. Still sensing that he hadn’t taken his eyes off you, tentatively you turned and looked at him over your shoulder. A lump caught in your throat at the blank look on his face. “Are you fine?”

“Perfectly.” His eyes met yours again. Something new flickered in his eyes, and while you weren’t exactly sure what it was, it started something flickering in your stomach, and you didn’t like that.

“Don’t look at me like that.” That might have come out more sharply than you’d intended. Wincing, you turned away to look back at the monitors.

“Look at you like what?”

“Never mind, Loki.” Leaning over the back of the chair, you squinted at something blipping on the screen.

“I’ll not be brushed off like an insect, Y/N.” Loki hissed, wrapping his fingers around your arm and spinning you so that you were once again nose to nose. “Like what?” Narrowing your eyes, you glanced at his grip on your arm and jerked free of him.

“Loki? Y/N? Are you there?” Turning away again, you fumbled for the transmitter microphone.

“Tony, we’re here.” A relieved sigh could be heard from the other side.

“Thank God, are you alright?” Glancing over your shoulder you noticed Loki had taken up his position at the controls.

“Yeah, we should be back in a couple of hours.” Another sigh.

“See you then.” Flipping the switch, you leaned back in your chair and swiveled to look at Loki.

“Loki,” Holding up a hand he turned towards you.

“I am too exhausted for anymore of your prattle.”

“My prattle? What is that supposed to mean, Loki.”

“Y/N.” Ignoring the warning note in his voice, you rose from your chair, and along with you rose your voice.

“No, you know what, you’ve been on my case for months now.” Rushing forward you stopped short before him and jabbed a finger in his face. “What’s your problem, Odinson.” Loki looked cooly from your finger to your firey expression.

“Agent L/N, right now my problem is you and your soul sucking attempts at an argument.” Now it was his turn to rise from his seat. Taking a step forward, he pushed you back with his form looming menacingly over yours. Retreating you dropped into your chair. “Now, as to your problem, Agent L/N,” Pausing, Loki leaned forward resting his arm on the back of your chair.

“My problem?” You blinked incredulously, tensing as he brought his face centimeters from yours. The dark grin that crossed his face did nothing to ease your worries.

“Your problem, Agent,” You bristled when he brought his thumb to graze over your bottom lip. Watching the motion of his finger’s path, Loki continued. “Is that you clearly haven’t, shall we say, had your rice cooked in a while.” Pulling back, he gave you a triumphant smile. Flexing your jaw, you felt your face go florid.

“Loki Odinson are you suggesting that my problem is,” Sputtering, you couldn’t finish the sentiment.

“That you need a good romp in the sheets, darling, but as I said, that’s your problem.” Folding his arms, Loki shrugged and grinned again. Jumping from your seat you met him toe to toe and crossed your arms.

“And I suppose you think you’re the answer to my problem?” Loki’s eyes danced with amusement as he leaned towards you.

“Darling, I would dance for our colleagues in the nude while singing bawdy tavern songs before I would put my cock in you.”

“Why I never,” You sputtered.

“That’s obvious.” After several attempts to open and close you mouth with no sound coming out, you huffed and stomped back to your seat. Thankfully the next two hours passed with no more words exchanged between you. As soon as your shuttle landed, you stormed through the doors without a second look at Loki.

“Y/N!” You tensed before being lifted off the ground into a back breaking hug by Thor.

“Thor.” Gasping for air, you tapped several times on your friend’s arm. Quickly he placed you on the ground but didn’t completely release you.

“Duchess, glad to see you made it back in one piece.” Tony walked towards the shuttle, glancing up at you from his tablet.

“Glad to be back in one piece.” Glancing towards the shuttle you noticed Loki exiting and quickly averted your gaze.

“Once you two get cleared by Bruce, we’ll need to go over what happened up there.” Against your will, your eyes flickered back to Loki only to find his already trained on you.

“I’d like for those interviews to be separate if that’s all the same to you, Tony.” You gave Loki a final scathing look before turning back to Tony. Furrowing his brows, he tucked the tablet under his arm and hooked a hand into his pants pocket.

“Everything okay?” Again you glared at Loki.

“Ask him.” Turning you started towards the lab, Thor hot on you trail.

“Everything looks fine.” Bruce unwound the pressure cuff from your arm.

“The ‘zing’ I felt when the bright light flashed through the cabin?” You paused from swinging your legs over the edge of the med bed and cocked your head to the side. Folding the pressure cuff, Bruce stopped to look up at you.

“I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, but if you develop new symptoms, come back to see me, okay?” Nodding your head, you gave him a warm smile.

“So I’m gonna live, doc?” Bruce chuckled.

“I’m afraid so, Y/N.” Groaning playfully, you swung off the side of the med bed, and as your feet hit the floor, Loki came strolling into the lab. Bristling, you diverted your attention back towards Bruce.

“Thanks, Bruce.”

“Of course, Y/N.” He’d turned his attention back to writing something on a clipboard. Averting your eyes, you started to pass Loki when you were overcome with a wave of lightheadedness.

“Careful, Y/N.” Loki whispered, reaching out to steady you with a hand on your arm. Narrowing your eyes up at him, you jerked away from his touch and staggered.

“You stay away from me, Odinson, and I’ll stay away from you.” Gritting your teeth, you pressed a hand to your head and glared at him.

"Fine by me." He hissed, clenching his fist by his side. Loki watched as you attempted to march out of the lab on unstable legs.

“By the Norns, Loki, what did you do to vex her so?” Thor broke the silence, sliding up behind his brother.

“It’s rude to eavesdrop, Thor.” Loki folded his arms and kept a concerned eye trained on your retreating form as the lab doors flapped shut.

[sunniques]

COULD YOU PLEASE DO PERV WONWOO😓😓LIKE HIM STEALING YOUR PANTIES OR SMTH...STALKER PERV

(also I found your writings a couple days ago and I am OBSESSED)

i will because i don’t think we talk about perv!wonwoo enough on here ☝️ALSO i’m glad you like my work and i hope you continue to like my upcoming fics <3

Wonwoo knows he’s sick, but it’s easy not to feel guilty when he has your lacy panties wrapped around his cock. That, and he has your freshly used cotton ones balled up and pressed against his nose. Your scent is overwhelming in the best way, and he keeps imagining what it would be like to have you ride his face.

Would you be a screamer? Even if you weren’t, he’s sure you would be for him. If ever given the chance, he’s eat your pussy until you cried. He pictures how wet you’d get for him, how your thighs would tremble around his head as you gasp for air. You’re so sweet that you’d thank him for fucking you so good with his tongue. Of course, those would be the last words you’d be able to form because he’d get you to cream on his tongue until your body was completely spent.

He gets lost in his fantasies, fucking his aching cock faster.

Lewd, wet sounds fill his room as he grunts into the soft fabric of your underwear. Usually, he moans your name while picturing you in all sorts of different positions, but he can’t be too loud since you’re actually staying in tonight.

Of course knowing you’re just on the other side of his wall turns him on more, though.

“Fuck,” he moans softly, fucking his hand faster as he pictures what your pretty face would look like if he had his cock inside you.

He’d fuck you in every position possible, stretching you out until you get used to his big cock. Wonwoo knows you’d be so pliant and pretty for him. And you’d beg for more. He knows you would.

A knock on his door makes him flinch, but he still doesn’t stop what he’s doing. He can’t. Especially knowing you’re on the other side of that door.

“Nonu?”

He hums in response. The sound of your sweet voice makes his dick leak with more precum.

“Did you want to watch a movie with me in my room?” You wonder shyly. “I even made some snacks.”

God, are you sweet. Of course he’s going to take you up on your offer, but not before he finishes in your sexy little panties.

“Sure,” his deep voice comes out even, thankfully. “I’ll meet you there in a second, sweetheart. Let me change into something more comfortable.”

Your excited okay helps push him over the edge, and as he shoots hot ropes of cum all over his stomach, he hopes that you’ll want to cuddle him like you do every so often. He thinks he’ll be safe from popping a boner in the first ten minutes since he just came.

When he joins you under your soft covers, he realizes that cumming didn’t help. At all.

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

i love having you home - Cole Caufield

Word Count - 2.9k

Author's Note - Thank you as always for reading and being patient with me as I get back into writing on a semi more regular basis.

Warnings - smut with very little plot, mentions of masturbation, male receiving.

Summary - Cole comes home from a very long and disappointing roadie, and he finds his girlfriend asleep on the coach. He decides to wake her up, to tell her that he's home, but what happens when in her groggy sleepy state she admits something she normally never would.

Slowly Cole made his way out of his car and up the driveway to his house. It had been a rough roadie, and it was hitting him hard because he felt like he was leaving everything out on the ice and yet his team was not winning despite his best efforts. Cole knew he couldn’t do everything, that they were a team, but somehow despite being a young team, he was finding himself annoyed with himself, asking himself what more he could do so that they could start winning again. But all of his thoughts were pushed behind him as he stepped into his house, he left his hockey duffle and shoes by the door, he could see a soft light glowing from the kitchen. Y/N he thought to himself, he found himself smiling for the first time that day at the thought of her being awake. 

Cole walked further into the home, he sighed deeply when he realized she must have kept the light on. Even though he knows she does this on purpose because she hates coming home to a dark house, and she never wants Cole to either despite it not bothering him.Somehow when he first saw the soft glow of the kitchen light he forgot this fact, and suddenly was slightly pouting that Y/N was in fact asleep. As he passes the family room on the way to the staircase that leads to upstairs and his bedroom he stops abruptly. Cole notices a lump on the couch and it makes him feel something warm in his chest at the idea of her falling asleep on the couch while waiting for him. Originally his plane was supposed to land at 11 at night, but something was wrong with the plane so they had to switch planes and he didn’t land in Montreal until closer to 3 AM. Cole slowly turned his body to come to the family room as quiet as possible, he debated with himself if he should just carry her to bed rather than wake her up. But ultimately he missed Y/N too much not to at least attempt to wake her despite knowing that was sort of selfish of him. 

He squatted down and rested his weight on the balls of his feet, as rested his arm on the coach for support, the other going to pet her hair. “Baby imm home.” he softly spoke as his hand made it down to her bicep shaking her attempting to wake her up. “baby.” He spoke a little louder this time as he softly shook her again, he stopped when he watched the crinkle of her nose knowing she was at least not completely asleep anymore. She attempted to pull the blanket up and snuggle back into the coach further, and Cole couldn’t help but chuckle, his girl was probably the one person he knew who loved sleep more than anyone else he knew. “Sweet girl.” he spoke again, and his grin turned into a smile as she snapped her head towards his voice. “Do ya not wanna come to bed wit- me?” he asked. 

“Cole?” she asked except due to the sleep in her voice, it came out more as coley rather than cole. 

“Im home baby.” he answered her as she finally opened her eyes. “I’m sorry it’s so late but I needed to hear your voice so I woke you. “ he admits looking down suddenly being shy, and Y/N smiled at him, as she reached for him in a bone crushing hug pulling him from the floor and onto the coach. 

“Missed ya-.” she mumbled into his neck as she's practically laying on top of him. Cole finds himself closing his eyes, getting lost in the smell of her conditioner that he hasn’t smelt in a week. Before Cole could respond that he missed her too, Y/N continued talking,“Especially when you dropped that thirst trap on your story.” she mumbled it still in that state of half asleep and half awake. 

All Cole could do is smirk as he tried to crank his neck to look down to her. “Oh yeah.” The cockiness was clear in his voice. All Y/N could do was nod her head along, as he dragged his hands up and down her back, teasingly at the hem of the bottom of her shirt, Y/N lightly moaned as one hand slipped on the shirt and the other slipped down to her ass and kneaded it. Continuing to edge her on he teased her with his words “You missed me eh?” 

“Hmm.” she mumbled, as she bit her lip softly as she felt Cole’s hands on her. “My fingers just aren't the same, Coley.” she admitted. It was obvious in her confession, that she didn’t realize what she had said as she tried to snuggle deeper into Cole’s side fully content with Cole’s soft touches loaring her back to sleep.But suddenly any tiredness that Cole had felt had vanished as all his mind could think of was Y/N being so horny while he was away that she had to rub one out. Not to mention that she only got horny because of a photoshoot he had to do for a brand deal over a month ago.While Y/N was practically back to sleep, all Cole could focus on was the image of Y/N moaning for him while she looked at a fucking picture from an Instagram post.

He was able to shift them so he was on top of them as he kissed her exposed neck, finally she was waking up fully at his words, his voice much deeper than before. “Oh yeah baby, you missed my cock.” 

Y/N snapped her eyes open as Cole continued his attack on her neck, spending extra time on that one sensitive spot below her jaw, even nipping at it with his teeth gently. Y/N’s hands found Cole’s dark blonde curls, not sure if tugging on them was more to keep herself grounded or to hear those pretty little grunts that Cole makes. She tried saying his name but couldn’t finish as he started to kiss in the valley of her breasts as much as he could despite the button up silk pajama shirt. She arched her back, as Cole sucked on a sensitive spot on the top of her breast. Y/N found herself begging as she clutched her legs around Cole bringing him closer trying to get some relief.  

“Ccole.” she gasped, hoping he would take pity on her. He slowly unbuttoned her silk pajama shirt, but still left it on. Cole took his tongue, looking up at her through his lashes as he dragged his tongue over her chest and under her boob, finally stopping by lightly sucking her left nipple. He took his hand and played with the other one, Y/N couldn’t make eye-contact and tried to throw her head back but Cole stopped as she did. Immediately she snapped her head back, eyes wide as she stared at Cole above her, his silver chain lightly dangling in front of her face. “Babe, please,” she whined, trying to show him how much she needed him. 

Cole moved back further resting on his feet between her legs. He took his hand, lightly caressed his fingertips onto the soft skin of her stomach right above her waistband. She lightly pouted at him, her eyes silently begging to give her some relief. His fingers lightly slipped under her waistband but stayed her stomach, she whined in response. “You know what I think?” he asked her, knowing she wouldn’t be able to form words he continued. “I think, since you were so horny,” he raises his eyebrows and a soft smirk is on his lips as he continues. “While I was away that you didn’t even think to call me as you rubbed one out that maybe I should leave you like this.” he threatens. 

“Na na no. please, please don’t.” she begs. “I only used my fingers cause you weren’t here.” she cries out as he slips his hand out from under her waistband and goes to tease the exposed skin on her inner thighs from her sleep shorts. 

“Hmm.” he says. “Still I wanna see what it looks like when you’re so despite that you need to use your hand. Were you too horny to grab your vibrator?” he taunts, she mumbles a response but he can’t hear her, so he takes his thumb and puts pressure on her clit through her shorts. She cries out, as asks again “what was that baby?” 

“It -” she gasps trying to answer him, despite how her legs starting to tighten she felt like she was seconds away from cumming but she knew it was just because of Cole’s edging her on that she felt like this. “It was ta- too far.” she gasped, hoping that was enough of an answer to please him. 

He frowned his eyebrows in confusion, “but it’s kept in the nightstand.” Y/N glances at him wincing, watching as if a lightbulb goes off when he realizes. “Oh my lil’ slut, where were ya if you weren’t in bed?” he asks, a full blown smile on display as she feels her cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He bends down to her ear, as he rubs light circles on her hip bone, she can feel the heat from his mouth as he says “tell me baby. Where. Were. You.” As he sucks on that sensitive spot behind her ear she moans as a response. 

“Here.” she practically yelps, louder than she needs to. “Here. I was here.” she repeats. 

“Oh yeah now you definitely have to show me,” he says as he leans back smiling as she twitches beneath him. 

“Cole.” she whines in embarrassment trying to take her hands and cover her face as she blushes at his words. 

“Nope, you want my help you gotta show me what you looked like when you imagined I was fucking with you but all you had was your little fingers.” sounding as cocky as ever.

Y/N bites her lips and lets out a small whine as Cole leans back to rest on his heels again as he looks down at Y/N as shimmy out of her silk pajama shorts and underwear. He has a smirk on his face, as he watches Y/N use one hand to tease her boob and the other going on lightly touching her inner thighs. Cole can’t help himself from palming himself over his sweats as he watches Y/N arch her back and close her eyes as she continues to tease herself. 

Cole grunts as he watches her hand that was teasing the sensitive skin on her thighs lightly touching her outer lips finally stopping at teasing her hole. Cole’s voice is deeper than normal when he asks “Fuck pretty girl is this what you were doing while I was away?” Y/N's only response is a little moan, as she opens her eyes just in time to watch Cole as he pushes his sweats and boxers down just enough to slip his hard cock out of his boxers. She can’t help but let out a little moan as she watches Cole spitting on his hand so he can lazily stroke his cock. 

“Answer me, pretty girl.” he demands. “What were you thinking about as you fucked yourself with your fingers?” 

“Ya- you,” she gasps. “It’s always you.” as she finally inserts two fingers, lightly pumping out of her center. Cole watches with hooded eyes as dark as the night sky, as she tries to reach with her thumb to rub little circles on her clit. But due to the angle that she is laying down on the coach she can’t and she just becomes frustrated with herself. Cole notices that she almost looks like she was in tears mad at herself for not being able to reach. 

“Baby you can do it.” He encourages her and she whines begging him for help but all she’s met with is Cole shaking his head ‘no’. Finally, she somehow cramps her hand and lightly creases her clit teasingly, causing her to arch her back more and gasp from pleasure, as she feels herself being pushed even closer to a release. Removing her hand that was kneading her boob she starts to make small steady circles on her clit as she pumps her fingers at a faster pace out of her cunt. Cole has to stop himself from nutting right there as she cries his name as she cums, he talks her through her high. Cole even takes over rubbing her clit, when she can't because she’s too lost in the pleasure from her cuming. “There ya go baby.” he coos at her, as she’s trying to control her breathing again. 

“I think that was the hottest thing you’ve ever fucking done.” he claims with a wide smile on his face. Y/N smiles up at Cole, a warm feeling spreading in her stomach at his compliment. 

She looks down and notices his tip is still bright red and the vein looks a little more strained than normal, suddenly Y/N has a very deep sense overcome her as he wants nothing more than to lick the vein of his dick. Y/N slowly sits up shifting towards her boyfriend as she crawls off the coach and onto her knees, but before Cole can even question her. She is blinking up at him saying in a soft voice “I wanna a taste, please.” Her mouth is now dangerously close to the tip of his cock, blinking up at him with her eyes the size of saucers. 

“fuck.” he whispers to one in particular. Cole slowly nods his head as a ‘yes.’ Y/N wastes no time in starting from the base of Cole’s dick and licking the she wanted, ending with his tip in her mouth. Cole grunts, one going to her hair, grabbing it tightly as he guides her in and out of his dick. The other tightening in a fist as he tries to grab onto something as if he needs it ground him. One of her hands is helping her balance on his thigh, leaving little half moons from her nails, her other hand going to play with his balls. 

Cole wants to watch her as he fucks her face, he loves when she blinks up at him while he’s controlling the pace. But as she goes deeper and faster he grunts, throwing his head on the back of the coach in an attempt to make him last longer. “Fuck baby, I, I’m close.” he gasps, at his words she somehow even quickens the pace. “Can I make a painting, pretty girl?” he asks, which is his cheesy way of asking to cum on her face, he knows it’s always a yes for him but he still insists on asking every time because consent is important. As soon as his brian registers, she’s nodding your head, he pulls out and he cums immediately as he watches her close her eyes, tongue sticking out waiting for his load. Y/N closes her mouth and swallows immediately, opening her mouth again to show Y/N she swallowed. 

Slowly he takes his thumb and collects some of his seed that was on her cheek and chin, dragging slowly towards her mouth. Cole has to bite his lip as she opens her mouth again welcoming his thumb and sucking hard, swallowing her tongue around his thumb as if it was nothing. He removes his thumb and she whimpers a little, as if she needs something of him in her at all times to keep her content. “Always such a good girl fa’ me.” he whispers, pulling her up to his level to kiss her. she crawls in his lap to deepen the kiss as his tongue slips into her mouth and she moans into the kiss. 

Finally, both of them pull away, gasping for air. “I’m happy you’re home.” she mumbles, wrapping herself around him like a koala bear. 

“Me too.” he answers her softly. “I’m happy to have a stretch of home games.” Y/N perks up, at his words softly lifting his head to get a better look at her. 

“Oh yeah. Me too. I love having you home.” she shyly adds.

“Yeah I know cause I’m better than your fingers.” he chirps at her, laughing lightly.

“I take it back, you can go on another roadie.” Y/N pouts at him, finally getting up from his lap turning as if she’s heading for the stairs. But she doesn’t make it every far, as Cole pulls her back to him landing on his again. 

He takes his hands and softly holds her face, making her look into his eyes so she knows he’s not lying when he says. “Hey I was kidding, baby. You know I hate being gone just as much as you do.” He dips his head to her ear, lightly kissing right under it, she gasps at the attention to her sensitive skin. “”Cause I can promise you, my hand isn’t as good as you are, baby. At his words she feels his cock lightly poking her upper thigh. “Let me make it up to you, show you how much I missed you.” he jokes, a big smile on his face as she blushes at his words.And in that moment Y/N knows it’s going to be a long night. 

[dsireland86]

OMG Yes please make the All Too Well fic! And yeah it is crazy that we thought about him with the same song

I was originally going to use the original version of this song, but after listening to Taylor's version again, it hit differently. This story was a little difficult to write because I really didn't want to make Nick the bad guy. But, at some point in our lives, we all make that one mistake we regret for the rest of our lives, right? In my universe, this was Nicholas's.

All Too Well

Tags: @philomenie @supersquirrel1996 @foliosgirl @angelmarie89 @fadingintothegrey @theanarchymuse95 @thisbicc @lma1986 @dominuslunae @shayzillaaaa @fadingintothegrey @an0mallly @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @mrsnoahsebastian @flowery-mess @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @stardustsirenmelody @romanreigns-supreme @anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey @rumoured-whispers

My sister's house in upstate New York that Autumn was so cold; colder than Virginia. The moment we walked through the door together, she smiled so big, squeezing my arm and saying how it felt like home. My sister loved her instantly. 

She wore a red scarf around her neck that she said kept the cold out and her body heat in. I didn't believe her. It was so thin and small. There was no way. But it smelled like her, and her scent always made me weak.

I was five years older than her, but nobody could ever tell. People would say my sweet disposition and her wide-eyed gaze that was always focused on me made us look so compatible together that age was never something anyone ever questioned about us.

The whole ten days we were in New York together, singing in the car, almost running countless red lights because I couldn’t stop looking over at her and how beautiful she was with the wind in her hair, getting lost on some crazy back roads with autumn leaves falling down like rain all around us, was the best ten days of my life. It  was nothing but the purest magic ever to be found in life. Even after it was long over, I could still picture all too well; her smile, her eyes, her laughter, all of it. It was love. I was in love with her, and I knew she was in love with me.

My mom came to visit my sister. Knowing y/n and I were there, she brought my childhood photo album and embarrassed the hell out of me. My cheeks never turned as red as they did when she saw me sitting in my old red car twin size bed in just my underwear and glasses; god, those horrible thick, black rimmed glasses.

Then came the t-ball stories that made my mother proud to tell, but made me cringe. But y/n hung on every word my mom said as she learned more about my past and, for the first time, I knew she was my future despite what was waiting for me back in Virginia. I didn't want that anymore. I was over it. I wanted what I had right then; at least I tried convincing myself I did.

As we drove through those back roads, I was aching to say, "I love you," but for some reason, I was too scared to call it what it was, until it was too late. Until it was already dead, gone, and buried beneath the hate and bitterness of her heart, and I didn't blame her one bit for the way she felt. I deserved it.

That same night, I stole her innocence, promising her that she was the only one I'd ever want and that what we had was real, because in the heat of the moment, I really meant it. But in the end, I knew it was a lie from the very beginning. I stole her magic and treated it and her innocence as if they were some ordinary, mundane things when they weren't.

After three months of silence, the moment she found out the truth, the painful look of shame that graced her beautiful face was too much for my heart to handle. I wanted to die, to run away from her and never see her again. There was nothing else for either one of us left to do except hope that she would forget me long enough to forget why she ever felt like she needed me in the first place.

The very last time we were happy was right after we came back from New York, and she stayed over at my place. It was the middle of the night, and I awoke to her not beside me, so I got up and went searching for her only to find her in the kitchen listening to "You Belong To Me" by Jo Stafford; our song. I sat on the stairs for a moment, watching her dance in the glow of the refrigerator light as she looked for something to eat or drink, knowing in the morning all of this was going to end.

I cried, hating myself to the point that I rushed back upstairs and threw up in the toilet. I had kept her a dark, dirty little secret when she only kept me like an oath swearing over and over her loyalty to me. It was all a masterpiece until I tore it all apart. For what? I don't even know anymore.

A month after that night, I called her up to tell her I was moving to my sister's. She answered the phone, sounding so hopeful and optimistic, but when I told her that I was leaving, y/n asked if I was going alone. I didn't want to be honest, but I had lied to her long enough, so I was. I told her the truth (or at least what I had convinced myself to be the truth) about her and I and that what we had was never going to work because of the age difference. I was casually cruel, crumbling her heart up like a piece of paper and throwing it to the floor. I knew she wanted to die because I had felt that kind of pain before, too.

She asked me why I was doing this to her on the eve of her twenty-first birthday and I cringed, completely forgetting the date. She screamed at me, saying it was supposed to be fun turning twenty-one, but now she was nothing but paralyzed by pain and regret. I promised her it would get easier and she disagreed, saying time doesn't fly when you're bleeding like a soldier on the battlefield. Then she asked the crucial question, the one I was hoping she never would; "Did the love affair between us maim you like it maimed me?"

I felt cold, numb from all the pain. I didn't answer her, just told her goodbye then hung up the phone. I went for a walk, plagued by memories of the past in the city's barren cold as the first fall of snow glistened as it fell. I remember it all too well.

I'm boxing up all her things she left behind. Her red plaid shirt, her hairbrush that still holds strands of loose hair, a pair of panties I remember pulling off of her the very last night I made her my own, and her old scarf; the red one she wore to my sister’s that day in New York. I bring it to my nose and breath in deeply, soaking in the remaining scent of her it holds. It reminds me of innocence and the way things used to be. I can't get rid of it. So, I open my dresser drawer and gently lay it in there, touching it one last time before closing it. I remember her wearing it all too well and I never want to forget it either. She loved me so, back before I lost the one real thing I'd ever known. What we had was rare and I know I’ll never have it again.

I say her name every once in a while, like a sacred prayer to remind myself of the one and only good thing in my life that I lost. And the memories of her come rushing back every time, reminding me of her love, all too well. 

[deskraven]

(Below are some personal thoughts on Nightshade and queer representation. OG poster I have nothing against you and this is not an attempt to persuade you into liking Nightshade. Your feelings are valid and I understand where you are coming from.)

Nightshade is an icon to me in Season 1. I always joke about "fox news is not wrong that Nightshade is trans-ing people" - they are a key factor I started using nonbinary pronouns in real life. So sure, my opinion on them is biased - there might be too much insertion and projection involved and I'm looking at them through rose-colored glasses.

So let's start with facts instead:

"The character's very existence is unnecessary" is a very subjective statement. There is a thread on Twitter that asked "(Without saying its woke) What's your reason for disliking Earthspark?" While many pointed out that there are too many Terrans and only 2-3 of them are well developed / interesting, the 2-3 they listed are very diverse among the comments! The following are all direct quotes:

I never found most of the kids/terrans entertaining (except for Nightshade and Jawbreaker)

... only Nightshade and Hashtag are interesting, the rest have the personality of a piece of cardboard.

A few of the Terrans feel underdeveloped, Thrash and Hashtag feel like nothing characters compared to Twitch, Jawbreaker, and Nightshade.

the Terrans don’t really stand out from one another in terms of personalities except for maybe Hashtag and Twitch.

The other terrans that are not twitch and thrash are really boring and lame

All of these are valid statements. I'm not accusing the original poster to be mistaking a subjective feeling as a factual statement - they very well clarified that this is their own personal feelings and acknowledged that Nightshade is a popular character. I just want to use the opportunity to show how diverse people's feelings can be.

I also don't think Nightshade "solely exists to make a statement".

If so, people who didn't even hear their statement should be really confused what the character is even here for. We do have such a group of people - in the Japanese dub, Nightshade's nonbinary identity wasn't revealed until their conversation with Sam. I'm not Japanese so I can't say for sure, but there were a lot of Japanese fanart about them prior to "Home" being aired in Japan. It seems that they are well-liked.

Now my opinions:

Nightshade has a very tasteful introduction and implementation. I see the "came flying in to throw all sorts of people into a tizzy" as part of their personality - which I cherish. I also see the "forced, self righteous, and more than a little annoying at times" as part of their personality, which I cherish even more because it reminds me of many queer neurodivergent friends of mine.

But Nightshade doesn't just appeal to queer people. A friend of mine adores them for a very specific line they said, "You've just proven you don't really know me - because I was never lost!" She's a cishet Chinese woman who doesn't know much about US queer culture, but she remembers saying something similar to her parents.

But even if they really are just a tasteless boring character who exists for the sake of representation, I wouldn't say they shouldn't be there either. I would sure be angry - a year ago I was enraged by the portrayal of Lake Ripple (Elementals) because this nonbinary character really literally serves no purpose. It is frustrating when there's finally a nonbinary character on big screen yet they are just a soulless background cardboard. But most of Lake's cisgender relatives are also background cardboards, yet no one would say they shouldn't exist in the first place. Imagine if all it takes to make a character's mediocracy tolerable is to remove their minority identity - it's unfair.

Anyways I like Nightshade very much they are the second perfect transformer character imo ^ ^ It's a pity they got shafted in S2 and S3 but they will forever live rent free in my heart and I unironically love how you described them as "self righteous and more than a little annoying at times" and "came flying in to throw all sorts of people into a tizzy". These are the reasons I love them and I couldn't have put it any better.

I can never change your dislike for Nightshade. But have you considered that Nick basically reduced their role in the show because of all the controversy? It's harsh to think that they shouldn't be there. This show has studio interference written all over it.

Today is the die I become hated.

Le sigh.

I recognize that studios have their money hungry fingers all over everything, but that does not change what Nightshade, and other similar characters, represent. I think Nightshade's very existence is unnecessary. Even without the controversy, the character is just kind of there for no real reason other than making a statement. For me, Nightshade feels a great deal like the ridiculous arrogance of Elita-One in Transformers One.

Both characters are there to leave a message, one that could be good if done correctly. But due to its implementation, it comes off as forced, self righteous, and more than a little annoying at times. Elita was an attempt to represent girl power that went sideways by making her worse as a person. Nightshade was a studio's shot at reaching more diverse audiences that just came off as out of the blue and tasteless. Nightshade has very little purpose, even before people got upset, my point remains. Additionally, the character is largely there for diversity rather than actual functionality in the show.

For all I care, your character could be named Squishy von Veek and could go by screams of the damned as pronouns, so long as said character is USEFUL to the story and makes sense in the lore. Nightshade sadly does not check any of these boxes for me, at least not in initial implementation. There was no lore groundwork, no tasteful introduction. It just happened and Nightshade came flying in to throw all sorts of people into a tizzy.

I will admit though, the design and name for Nightshade rock.

[teathattast]

How you changed my world, you'll never know

I'm different now, you helped me grow

You came into my life sent from above

When I lost all hope you showed me love

I'm checkin' for you boy, you're right on time

Angel of mine

☆°•°♡°•°☆

Nothing means more to me than what we share

No one in this whole world can ever compare

Last night the way you moved is still on my mind

Angel of mine

[mzannthropy]

My story of the week is how I went outside to touch grass, bc I felt let down by not being able to watch Sam Claflin's new film bc it's not showing anywhere in UK, so much so that I considered ending my fan-ship, only to be, while outside touching grass, faced with a street sign that said Dimples Lane. (It's in Haworth, West Yorkshire, if anyone wants to check it out on a map.) As @jesstasticvoyage privately told me, I just cannot escape him. Maybe not just a humble street sign, but a sign from the universe?

[shima-draws]

Mhmm. Got new OC ideas on the brain. It’s basically the trope of “I thought I lost you when we were kids but you’ve actually been by my side now that we’re adults yet I was too fucking STUPID to realize it was you all along” which is like. MWAH chef’s kiss 😩👌

[2024skin]

Not me realizing that a man breaking into my house is the source of all my stalker dreams and all my breaking and entering dreams and all my late night paralyzing anxieties about someone being in my house uninvited. Duh.

[gigagasp]

God is putting me through trials LMAO