#i was sad then i started drawing then i got really upset and pissed off so i finished coloring the drawing now im

[batqueers]

the most well adjusted creature ever in the whole world ever and nothing bad has ever happened to him

[syrupfog]

Zoro who grew up in the foster system, passed from house to house because he’s labeled a flight risk after continually getting lost on his way home. No one ever believes him that his sense of direction is really that bad, but every new house is a new neighborhood to learn. No matter what home he’s at, as soon as he gets lost they ship him somewhere more restrictive until he ends up in someplace similar to juvie, where he can’t get lost bc he can’t leave. 

He meets an angry blond kid his own age there, who was dropped off by his own family, and

I assume they don’t get along, for a myriad of reasons not least of which that Sanji has a family, and Zoro hates that about him. They get paired in a room together and Zoro can’t understand why Sanji hates his family when Zoro would give anything to have one

It takes until a visitor day months down the line for him to figure it out. 

Because Zoro never attends visitor days. He doesn’t have visitors. But he shows up to this one bc he literally got lost and ended up there. 

He gravitates toward the group that’s clearly Sanji’s family

Just close enough to hear the way they speak to him and about him, about how he’s bringing down their name and he’s lucky he’s here and not on the streets and Sanji weakly mumbling that maybe he’d rather be on the streets they won’t even let him cook here

And his dad backhanding him at that. And Zoro sees the staff witnessing this and doing nothing and draws the correct conclusion that this is a regular occurrence and completely allowed. 

So of course when Sanji appears in their room later Zoro loudly declares, “I’m watching out for you from now on, we’re in this together.” 

And Sanji’s like “fuck off I don’t need your pity.” 

Zoro says, “what fucking pity? This is about me hating your fucking family, we’re gonna get out of here someday and I’m going to kick their asses.”

Sanji doesn’t accept this pronouncement for a long time but Zoro makes himself the Sanji Guard Dog and he hit his growth spurt before Sanji so he’s able to tower menacingly behind him, it works well. 

And Zoro’s angry inside but he hasn’t felt sadness for a while, until Sanji.

And Sanji’s sad inside and his anger’s a facade for that. So like, they balance each other out. 

Sanji turns 18 eight months before Zoro and Zoro tells him not to show up to visitor days but Sanji always does, and talks about this fucking chef he’s found who’s taken him in.

And for the both of them life starts at 18, living in a tiny rundown flat above the Baratie and they’re still full of anger and sadness but when Zoro gets lost the first time, he’s so worried Sanji’s going to throw him out like every other family did.

But he doesn’t. Zoro comes home five hours late from getting on the wrong train and Sanji throws his arms around Zoro’s shoulders and says he was worried. Zoro snaps at him because he was so wound up ready for a fight.

But Sanji doesn’t just give up on him like he thought, and Zoro learns the city ever so slowly and he gets lost less (it doesn’t ever entirely stop, though) and Sanji learns his habits, gets good at finding him.

Zoro spends a long time stunned at this. Confused that Sanji is never more than grouchy or worried. 

The only time Sanji is ever truly upset is one night when it’s been raining hard and the landmarks are harder to find on the dark so Zoro’s hours late, and Sanji’s pissed When he walks in the door, yelling about where has he been, it’s been fucking hours, fucking hell, Zoro. 

Zoro’s so hurt and overwhelmed (and sopping wet from the rain) and having flashbacks to his childhood and feeling like, oh this is it, the straw that broke the camel’s back for Sanji apparently. 

He turns to leave, just walk right out that door and disappear, but as he wrenches the door open suddenly there’s a hand clenched tight around his wrist and Zoro can’t pull out of his grip

And he starts saying that Sanji had better fucking let him go, only to see that Sanji’s crying, lips pressed tight together, trembling, looking at the floor, tears running down his face. 

Zoro realises maybe this isn’t about him.

He learns after he’s closed the door again that Sanji’s family had been by, had threatened a number of things directed at the both of them, and then Sanji had sat and waited for so so long for Zoro to get home, to prove to himself Zoro was Safe.

Zoro pulls him into a hug, tight enough prove he’s real and okay. 

They have a shitty little one bedroom flat as it is but that night they share Sanji’s bed. And then most nights after, too. 

They fall into a relationship sort of backwards but that’s okay.

Both of them were abandoned in different ways. Both of them needed finding, holding, keeping. And they get that in each other.

[positively-peachy-143]

pb & jally / panini hcs

Dallas loves tussling Ponyboy’s hair, not quite playing with it, but messing with it enough to get a little glare from Pony.

Dallas randomly stops by the school to pick Johnny and Pony up and get them to ditch with him, usually to DQ’s or some diner. 

It pisses Darry off.

Pony will sometimes sketch Dallas and Johnny cuddling after they’ve fallen asleep. 

The gang doesn’t know, as per Dallas’ request, but if it were just Pony and Johnny they would have come out to the gang by now.

They don’t mind keeping it secret, having this special little thing between them that no one else gets to see.

Johnny wears Dally’s st christopher, but always hides it under his shirt. 

Dallas always makes up a story about ‘some broad’ when anyone asks him why his necklace is missing, but he ends up lowkey describing either Johnny or Ponyboy each time (for example “nah she’s got this big doe eyes, like a sad puppy’ or ‘she loves reading. Crazy, man.’)

Dallas HATES reading, and doesn’t understand why his boyfriends love it, but he actually secretly likes when either of them read to him. 

Dallas will lift books for them. One time Two-Bit caught him and now teases him for it. 

They each have a little heart on one of their shoes with the other two’s initials on it. Poyboy wrote each of them, since he has the best handwriting. 

Ponyboy gets to wear Dallas’ ring, but similar to Johnny, he wears it on a chain around his neck and hides it under his shirt. 

They sometimes go to the lot together, all three of them, and at first Pony was afraid he’d be irritated by Dallas breaking the silence every two seconds, but he actually doesn’t mind it. Sure it’s not the same as him and Johnny sitting there together quietly, but he actually kind of likes it this way. 

Dallas doesn’t understand why his boyfriends like the quiet so much, but he tries to respect it. He can’t help it though if he wants to crack a few jokes or mess with Pony’s hair or give Johnny a light shove every now and then. He’s pretty restless, but they haven’t reprimanded him or anything for being obnoxious yet. 

Not only did Dallas reluctantly agree to join them and watch sunsets, but he actually secretly started liking them

One time Dallas caught himself watching a sunset alone and got really sad bc neither of his partners were there to see it. He thought the sunset was wasted on him bc his boyfriends would’ve liked it more than he does. 

Dallas still drives and lives recklessly, but he’s a bit more careful now. He’ll catch a glimpse of the heart on his shoe or his ringless finger and remember he has something to live for now. Two somethings. 

Pony and Dally hang out one-on-one the least out of the three of them. Sometimes Johnny tries to get them to bond, and they do, but they like it a lot better with him there too. 

Pony and Dally really only bond one-on-one when talking about Johnny and having a cigarette.

Pony grows to actually like how unconventionally attractive Dallas is. He’s unique to draw. 

Pony writes down all (if any) stories Dallas shares about his time in New York. Usually all he gets is small remarks and basically table-scraps worth of stories, but he’s always trying to urge more information. He thinks it’s fascinating. Like they’ll be talking about something and Dallas will go “oh yeah I remember military camp” and Johnny and Pony will just stare like 0-0

Dallas still flirts in public with girls, but never gets further than that usually. There have been a few times however, where he’s been unfaithful to Pony and Johnny, as to be expected. He’s slept with other people, kissed other people, etc. 

Johnny is more upset about it than he lets on, and if Pony weren’t there, he would have just accepted it and moved on.

Pony was the one to push the “are we exclusive?” conversation, which led to Dallas getting frustrated and storming out

He wasn’t really mad at them, more mad at himself for not realizing that they wanted to be exclusive. 

They broke up for a while, but eventually Johnny managed to pull them back together.

Johnny’s kind of the mediator in the relationship. He’s their glue. 

Every time Dally fucks up or Pony gets frustrated, he’s there seeing both sides.

Sometimes he feels trapped in the middle

In the end though, they always come back together. Dallas never apologizes, as that wouldn’t be true to him to do, but he does try to change for the better, for them. Pony still sometimes thinks Dallas is scary, maybe a bit too real, but it’s in a different way now. Dallas is scary, but Pony is safe with him, Dallas would never intentionally hurt him. And Johnny loves both of them uniquely. They’re both so different but he loves them so much. Pony’s gentler, more thoughtful side, as well as Dallas’ rugged, rebellious side.

[drgstrcowboi]

dating Dallas Winston head canons: wholesome edition

in my head, Dallas is a classic scorpio man who plays tough but is actually a big softy when you get close to him

obviously, he's very protective and everyone knows that

but sometimes that manifests in unexpected ways like wanting you to call when you get home safe or reminding you to eat/sleep/take care of yourself

sometimes his protective side feels a touch bit controlling or overbearing, but he does it because he's terrified of something bad happening to you

he's incredibly touchy/physically affectionate in private, but not so much in public

unless someone else flirts/shows interest in you and then he has to make it clear you're with him by wrapping an arm around you

he was super private and even a little standoffish at first

but once he opened up to you, it was over. he would share anything and everything about his life and how he feels from that moment forward

underneath his tough exterior, he's actually really sensitive

he learns to recognize small changes in your mannerisms/behaviors when you're mad/sad/upset

"Why are you picking at your fingernails like that, Doll? Is something the matter?"

he also has a creative side, which most people don't know

he draws little doodles/sketches, which he loves to show you

"What do you think of this one, Doll? I think I'm getting the hang of drawing skulls!"

so you buy him a sketchbook or little notebook to draw in, which he fills with random doodles of things that remind him of you

even though he shows you a side of himself he'd never let others see, Dallas still has his faults

he holds grudges sometimes, usually over small things that don't seem important to you

his mood can change seemingly at the drop of a hat because he's always got so much on his mind

"Dally, why are you mad all of a sudden?"

"I was just thinking about that prick, Shepherd."

"Well stop it, we're about to have dinner."

when something's bothering him about your relationship or about your behavior, he's very direct about it. sometimes too direct.

"You know, Doll, it really pisses me off that you used the last of my favorite soap! That stuff's expensive, don't waste it!"

"Geez, Dal, I was just taking a shower. I'm sorry."

"Well, bring your own soap over here since you stay the night so much."

once you start sleeping over, he clears out a drawer for you in his dresser. he wants you to keep some essentials at his place so you don't have to leave so often

maybe he even goes out of his way to get tampons/period supplies or a bottle of your shampoo for you to keep at his place

he wants you to feel comfortable there, so he tries to find out what makes you feel most at home

of course you feel most at home wherever he is

but one big way that Dallas shows his love is by learning what makes you tick, even the smallest things you might not even notice about yourself

everything from how you like to be held, how you like your hair played with, what makes you feel safe, to how many times you snooze the alarm clock in the morning or which pillow is your favorite

and you do the same for him. he recognizes the effort and clearly appreciates it even if he doesn't say it

like how he loves having his head scratched when he's laying in your lap and how you scratching his back helps him fall asleep

Dallas has insomnia and doesn't fall asleep easy so he shows he appreciates it by telling you how rested he feels in the morning

he's not one for grand romantic gestures, but he'll go the extra mile if he thinks you want him to

he's really good at reading people, especially you, so he always picks up on when you want him to be more romantic or put more effort into things like dates

at the end of the day though, it's all the small things about him and all the small things he does that make you fall head over heels

[daddysfangirls-dc]

UnTamed Ch.5

Prev | Next

Damian Wayne x OC!Female

Damian and Astraea were both very observant people, but in different ways. Asta was emotionally observant, as she could tell how people felt; it was part of her ability to sense others' emotions. Empathy. With one glance, she could categorize a person into four emotions: Happy, Sad, Mad, and Scared. With further investigation and contact, she could gather more, which she did with Damian. With all their time together, she could identify his mood and its subcategory. Although she still didn't know how to react all the time. She was learning.

Damian was more observational and inferential, which made sense since he was the son of the world's "Greatest" detective. He could observe people and their actions and pull them apart. Taking the evidence given, digging deeper, connecting dots, and making a conclusion or inference. He could learn the basics about anyone with a good look, but with more time, he could dig deeper, and that's what he did with Asta. With all their time together, he could acknowledge things about her that she had yet to disclose or know herself. Didn't know what to do with such information. But he had it.

-

Damian was angry, and it fell into irritation and annoyance, something Asta could see and feel. She hesitated at the window, not sure of how to approach him. Slowly slipping into the room and getting to the bed, she perches on the edge. Judging him from afar. He acknowledged her with a glance and nod and returned to his book. She continued inching closer toward him, her paws quiet and soft on the sheet. Reaching him, she changes from a feline to a human. She sits up against the headboard. "What's wrong?" he gives a side glance. " You're not happy."

"What gave it away."

"I... I just know." she had his full attention now. "Why are you upset?"

"I'm not," he was. He had been banned from patrol for a week. That had been extended until further notice after an argument with Tim. who only got a scolding. So yeah, he was pissed, but he didn't want to talk to her about it. He just wanted to read, draw, and get away for a moment.

"Can I help?" Asta didn't like him angry; she didn't like feeling his anger, and it was so loud she couldn't help but feel it, and she wanted to do away with it. " I'm sure there is something we can do. Something to make you happy."

"Nothing"

Asta leans against him, looking over his shoulder and looking at his book. " Looks like an interesting book. Tell me about it."

"Why?" he asked, but not really, his voice clearly filled with annoyance and irritation. Maybe she couldn't hear that or ignored it.

" So, I can know about it myself and look into it." He let out a bitter scoff. Pushing her away. "

How? You can't even read."

The moment the words left his mouth, he instantly regretted it. The way her face fell was something he never wanted to see again. The way she shrank into herself, slid off the bed and stepped onto the floor. It pained him. He didn't even touch her, but he knew he hurt her deeply.

"I could teach you." He knew from the very beginning that she couldn't read or write. Her limited vocabulary, her avoidance of any written material, mispronouncing words. The biggest giveaway(besides the fact she lack a record of attending any type of school) was her name. When he first gave her name, she always asked him to write and spell it. She never wrote or spelled it herself. She tried, but it was clear from her behavior she was illiterate, but she hid it well. " I could teach you how to read and write." She looked at him, confused and suspicious but unmoving. " Can't have you running around uneducated. I'll teach you."

"I -I don't..." she stuttered as she took a small step back. He set his book on the nightstand and stood up on the other side of the bed. "I'll teach you to write as well," he said." We can start small. You already know your name." he sounded desperate as he watched her eye the window. Her escape. He didn't want her to leave. He didn't want her to go. He didn't know if she'd come back. She could feel his sadness, guilt, remorse, and shame. And feeling that made her sad, too. But a hurt and embarrassed sad. 

Even in her sadness, she could not hurt him. With kindness only she knew, she nodded 'yes,' and with a flicker of feathers, she had flown outside the window, gone until the next. 

-

Asta returned to him two weeks later. Instead of going to the manor, she found Birdie on the rooftops. His ban had been lifted. " Hello," She whispered as she appeared behind him. She didn't want to startle him as he was perched on the ledge. 

"Hello, Astraea," Robin said but didn't turn around.

"You ... you said you'd teach me. You'd help me." Turning around, Robin found Asta small; she kept her head down and fidgeted with her fingers. She was not her usual boisterous self. He made her small. He didn't like that. 

"We can start with the Alphabet. 

-

[wildcardsources]

Guess What Cartoon Character Julia Is Drawing, I Dare You pt. 1

Taken from Drawfee's episode of the same name !! Pronouns, punctuation, and wording can be changed as needed. Part two can be found here !!

TW: none

" I am the worst out of the team and maybe in the world. " " I am the worst out of the team and maybe in the world at remembering what anything looks like off the top of my dome. " " Usually, I would softly refute that because I don't like when people are too hard on themselves. But in this case? No, it's true. " " No, it's true. It's bad. " " It is disastrous to a comedic effect. " " It's truly outrageous. " " Which is maybe the thing that I'm worst at. " " We clap and we laugh! " " I'm so excited, I can't wait to see! " " I'm gonna try to hide it but I don't think I'm gonna be able to. " " I'm gonna start off with my strongest one. " " Catch him! " " Okay, are you ready? " " Why do it look like a fish? " " I was thrown off by the really square jaw. " " Well, he can't take your Youtube success! " " Hey, we're one for one! " " There were layers and levels to that. " " This is a little fella. " " Wait, really? " " _____ said 'But I was joking!'" " The bar is so low. " " It's like Grease. " " Oh, that one's good, actually. " " _____, you're doing too good a job! " " You're making us and yourself look foolish! " " That was the warm-up round. " " He's not doing so good... " " The order in which you do things is foreign to me. " " He's the only chicken I know! " " But you got it! " " Don't worry, you're still doing a bad job. " " Why is it doing that? " " Hey guys, I don't think this is _______. " " I thought I nailed it. " " I think I did a pretty good job! " " That's what really matters, ______. " " Why does he look so handsome?! " " This bear has like a legion of fans! " " People can do it but we usually don't encourage. " " I actively discourage. " " I don't know what that is... " " This looks like it would be on a bumper sticker, pissing on something. " " You made him like kinda kawaii. " " That's just some good television right there. " " You're gonna be so upset when you find out. " " Yo, I don't know about that. " " It ain't right. It truly ain't. " " A sad, broken man, but a man nonetheless. "

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Jayme Hargreeves dating someone who's an optimist

A/N: my entire thought process for coming up with this idea was "opposites attract" type thing because those kind of couples are always cute

Warnings: fluff, little bit of angst in the middle, swearing

When she first met you, Jayme, in all honesty, found you unbearably annoying

I mean, what kind of weirdo is always so upbeat and positive all the time?

On top of that, she also found you to be pretty suspicious, for the same reasons

Seriously, how can someone always be looking on the bright side of things, especially when there's no possible way it could get worse? It's unnatural

Because of this, she was even more snarky than usual around you, but for some reason that only seemed to draw you closer

No matter how many comments she made, no matter how many hints she dropped about how much she hated being around you, nothing she did could get you to leave her alone

And after awhile, it occurred to her that she didn't want you to

Let's say, for example, something happened in your personal life to upset you. Because of this, you became distant, and perhaps even a little cold. Nothing like your usual happy-go-lucky self

At first, she only saw this as a good thing; if you were upset, you wouldn't be hanging around anymore, which means you'd finally leave her alone

That was, until she realized just how much she missed your presence

She missed having someone to always counter any negative remark she made with a positive one of their own, missed your never fading smile, but more than that, she missed you

This led her to realize something: she cared about you more than she thought, more than she'd care to admit

Having no other options, she decided she had to be the one to cheer you up, and get you back to your normal self again

She went to your apartment, banging loudly on the door until she got a response

"Whoever it is, go away"

"It's me, asshole, open up"

After unlocking the door, Jayme barged into your apartment like she owned the place and began an angry rant about how pissed off she was at you

"Look, I know you've got shit going on in your life you're trying to work through, but you need to come back, okay? You need to come back to the academy because things are different without you there. Don't fucking ask me why, they just are. So you need to snap out of this mopey Eeyore bullshit and just- start being you again, do you hear me?"

She thought she'd hurt your feelings when it took you a minute to respond, but to her surprise you actually started laughing instead

"Wow, you must have really missed me, huh?"

Your relationship took a much more intimate turn after this encounter

Your banter with her amuses Alphonso and the rest of the family greatly, as they know that if anyone else tried to talk to her the way you did they'd be dead

"Jayme, you seem upset. How about a big smile?"

"No, fuck off"

"Aw, who's being extra grumpy today? Do you need a hug?"

*eyeroll* "no"

Cut to you hugging her while she "tries" to push you away (she doesn't try, really)

As much as she picks on you for always looking on the bright side of things, if anyone else does it she'll kick their ass, and that includes her siblings

A lot of people are surprised when you tell them you're a couple, but you don't really mind. You love Jayme for the sarcastic grump that she is, and she loves you for the ball of sunshine that you are

~

Main masterlist || The Umbrella Academy masterlist

🏷 taglist: @anxiously-sad @iloveentrapta @ghot-girl @your-next-daydream

[zachsreaderinserts]

sapnap, dream, tommy, and c! techno x s/o who cried while arguing headcannons

FIRST REQUEST OOGA BOOGA OOGA BOOGA 

also im about to hit 100 followers! thank y’all sm!!!

edit: so uh, i didnt know tommy didn’t like to be written in romantic x readers, that was on me 100% so i changed it to platonic!!

wc: 1,285

SAPNAP

as we all know, sapnap is a little bitch when he’s arguing with someone, compiled with lots of yelling, screaming, and probably physical gestures.

so, it was no surprise that when you had brought up the fact that he had been neglecting his chores around your house, that he retaliated almost instantly

“i’ve been sitting in the office the last few days working! i don’t know what you want from me!”

somehow, with you being you and sapnap being sapnap, the argument escalates really fucking fast

to the point where his voice is starting to get hoarse and you’re pretty much shaking in retaliation, regretting ever bringing up the entire argument

sapnap’s too blinded by his anger to realize that you were not fine and were backing yourself into the dining room table in attempt to seperate yourself from the situation

and when he turned to glare at you and continue his point, he paused when he saw the tears building up in your eyes and the fearful look you had

he dropped the argument almost instantly and darted over to you, holding you by the shoulders. you couldn’t even form any words, just blubbering as he squeezed you close

you apologized for crying, but he didn’t want to hear shit. he felt guilty for letting the argument escalate like that and the both of you said sorry for the entire situation as a whole.

at the end of the day, you still love each other, y’know?

DREAM

dream’s biggest problem when arguing is that he can’t truly decipher what is an insult and what is a light jab to his ego.

it was during a stream that you had made a joke, something about dream resembling his smp! rendition of his character and that irked dream automatically

after the stream, he came into your room and addressed it, but anyone could see how quietly pissed off he was. and already, you were angry because he was angry

so, you bit back. told him that you were sorry about how he felt and how you pressed his buttons, but not sorry for making the joke. it wasn’t meant to be taken the way he did and that was his fault for stewing over it

mans is angry

so, a shouting match starts up, naturally and it gets heated real fucking quick

“you don’t get to decide whether or not i should blow over a joke!”

(wanted to say that in this argument, you’re both valid, but the way you went about it is not)

it gets to the point where dream’s all up in your face, shouting about how annoying it is for you to be making jokes like that and how he found it unfunny and shit.

which isn’t a bad criticism but also, with how he’s yelling it to your face, it hits a little different but not in a good way. you’re practically swallowing back the tears as he keeps ranting about it.

and when he pauses to let you argue back and speak and you respond with a voice crack that gave away how you truly felt. dream looked back over at you to see you wiping at your eyes, trying to push the emotions back

the vibes shift into something calmer, still heated, but not as bad as it was. he walked back to you and hugged you, letting you let all the emotion out.

from then on, you two talked about it quietly and respectfully, making sure to keep the intense emotions on standby.

and hey! you’re still holding his hand by the end of it.

TOMMY

this fucking rat of a man has a hard time trying to keep his emotions on standby and not go ape shit. knowing tommy, it’s probably a longstanding problem that’s been around his entire life

so, you’re pissed at him first for him blowing up your house on the smp. i mean, i can’t blame you, i’d be just as pissed. that house had been around since the beginning and it held everything you worked for on the server

tommy found it dumb that you had such an angry reaction and began to argue back that it truly didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things and that you were being out of pocket

“c’mon, you know that i didn’t mean for it to hurt you like this and this isn’t a reaction you should be having.”

he keeps mostly level headed the entire argument, but you can tell by how he’s gritting his teeth and how his eyebrows are furrowed that he’s getting annoyed

and then he raises his voice, the coil keeping his frustration snapping along with it. you’re shocked to say the least and start to feel invalidated for him reacting the way he is. while his frustration is all anger, yours is more sad.

tommy stops his harsh tone when he notices the sorrowful look on your face and reels back, taking control of himself. he says that you two need a moment to recollect so you can discuss this again at a later time

despite the argument still lingering hours later, tommy is just as kind as he was before it, making sure to let you know that he still appreciates you no matter what the situation was

and whenever you did discuss it again, tommy and you made a little system to let him know whenever he took it too far. he felt better knowing that you were no longer upset with him and you feel better knowing that he was willing to try and understand you.

C! TECHNOBLADE

techno is fucking notorious for being an especially condescending little arsehole, it’s canon both in his character and irl

so, he takes on a more emotionless and rough approach at the sign of any sort of criticism. he’d rather you think of him as a bitch than let you see that he was any sort of empathetic.

it was when you got onto him for never sleeping that he showed this side of himself. you couldn’t even see it in his body language that he was upset and that made you angrier.

techno was pissed, 100%, but he wanted the upper hand. he refused to let you see him vulnerable.

“i don’t think it’s as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be. why can’t you just ignore it?”

he keeps drawing out the arguing, somehow countering your very valid points to about how disorganized or lazy you were. rather than accepting the criticism, he forced it onto you.

and with every point he spoke, you felt your heart hurt just a little more. he was nitpicking at that point and that hurt more than anything else. he knew you felt insecure about certain things and you just couldn’t see why he wasn’t showing the proper emotions in this argument

eventually your mind became so muddled that you were even aware that you were crying. techno immediately stopped talking and stared at you in slight shock. he made you cry.

the voices were quiet, not giving him instructions or advice. he was on his own.

techno marched forward and held your face, wiping away the tears as quickly as they fell. you just looked up at him, showing so much pain, that his expression broke instantly. he looked like he was about to cry at the sight of your crying

you guys never got back to the argument but it was clear that he was sorry for what he had done. every time he came to bed early proved that enough and on those nights, he held you just a little bit tighter.

[blackbat05]

You’re the best to me

Dad Shangqi x Mom Reader

A/N: Well! This idea came out pretty quickly! I guess some of these experiences are what I experienced with my dad and I thought hey, why not spread some joy into these fics? It may be a bit different from what I originally planned but I really hope that you guys like it!🙇🏽‍♀️ <University Blues> is kinda like a prequel to this?

Genre: PG 13

Warnings: Rude parents, subtle racism in between the lines (please everyone, in this difficult time, we could treat one another nicely) and if you consider Shangqi absolutely adoring his little Princess a warning and just being a supportive Sports Dad in general than suree haha👍🏽

The arena was filled with noise as the Xu family stepped in. Little Xu Xiayi was clearly nervous as she gripped her father’s hand tightly. It was natural of course, because she would be competing in her first competition.

Shangqi bends down, adjusting his daughter’s taekwondo uniform. ‘How we feeling?’ Placing his hand against her heart he gasps dramatically for god measure, ‘Wow there’s a train in there!’ It did work for a few seconds as he manages to elicit a tiny smile.

‘You nervous?’

‘A little,’ Xiayi fiddles with her belt. How he wished he could take away the nerves for his baby girl. But if there was one thing he learnt from his own father, once you’re on the stage, you have to learn how to handle the nerves. Still he was aware that his girl was only 7 years old and was just starting out in competitive martial arts.

‘Baobei, look at me.’ He sees her brown eyes that she had inherited from him. ‘Whatever the result may be, as long as you gave it your all, me and your mama will be very proud of you.’

You bend down, huddling together with your two favorite people. ‘Baba is right, whatever the outcome, we know you tried your very best!’ In an effort to make Xiayi less nervous, you squeeze your baby in a big bear hug. Just then her number is called with another girl who was at least half a head taller.

‘Go Xiayi!’ You cheered, giving her a good luck kiss while Shangqi fist bumps her small hands. As she walks away, you notice Shangqi smiling to himself.

‘What’s in there mister?’ You teased. ‘Sad to see your little treasure finally being free?’

Your husband rolls his eyes as he slings his arm across your shoulder, trying to find seats among the other parents in the stands. ‘You wish. As long as I’m alive, Xiayi will never be free from me. I’m just happy to see Xiayi being such a strong girl. I was able to do something for her that I couldn’t do for my sister.’

You knew about the siblings’ rough childhood. ‘I’m sure Xialing would be proud of her niece. She told me she really wanted to come but something held her up back in Macau. She sends her best.’

The two of you manage to find pretty decent seats near where Xiayi was competing. And it looks like both the girl’s parents came too. Let’s just say you didn’t like the haughty looks on their faces. Still, you and Shangqi remained civil.

The match was more intense than you expected. And you felt yourself glowing with pride seeing how Xiayi matched up against the girl. As the two of you settled into your seats, more curious parents came by to see who was this unknown wonder kid. A mom with two other kids in tow tells you that Xiayi’s opponent is the number two seed in the draw.

But you knew Shangqi and you couldn’t agree with him more - matches were meant to have upsets. Seeding was just another thing of the past.

Throughout the match, both girls couldn’t break away. Until now. Xiayi manages to get a well-aimed kick at her head, helping her to break away from the tied score.

Time-out. The two went to the benches below the stands, taking much needed sips of water. Shangqi motions for me to stay put as the other girl’s parents rush to her. Xiayi needs to stay focused.

Just then, the girl’s father makes a comment to his daughter that causes your blood to rise in temperature. ‘Hurt her if you have to. Make sure that Chinese girl doesn’t stand a chance.’

Your head whips to Shangqi. He’s heard it too and boy, you have never seen him that pissed off before. But he won’t blow up now. For Xiayi, he must stay cool. He still tells her one thing before she gets back on the map.

‘Stay cool. Do what you’ve been doing.’

You could not bear the intensity that was unfolding in front of your eyes. For god sake this was just a children’s match! Shutting your eyes, you lean into your husband, praying for the best. You prayed that your little baby would show those arrogant assholes that they were wrong. That they should not have messed with the daughter of a martial arts master.

‘Babe, you don’t want to miss this.’ Shangqi nudges you, giving you the confidence you needed to see it through.

And Xiayi’s done it. She’s managed to do a roundhouse kick to the girl’s chest plate, taking home the win.

‘XU XIAYI!!!’ You grabbed Shangqi, jumping up and down in joy. Your girl had just caused a major upset in her very first tournament.

If you were ecstatic, Shangqi was over the freaking moon. He flew down the steps of the stands, letting Xiayi run into his arms before lifting her up and attacking her in kisses.

‘Hey! Hahaha! Baba stop! It tickles!’ You smile fondly at the wonderful sight in front of you. Suddenly, all these fears that Shangqi had of not being a good father, becoming like his dad who was filled with nothing but hatred just went out of the window at this very moment.

A loud crash is heard behind the father-daughter duo. Xiayi’s opponent throws her bag down in anger, storming ahead of her mother who is left to pick up her forgotten bag as the father walks beside to appease his own daughter. He sees the three of you celebrating and decides to continue to make the parade of uncalled comments. Shangqi tells you to take Xiayi away first.

‘She got lucky you know? No small sized Asian brat can beat our champ.’ Shangqi wonders, he wouldn’t exactly seek his father for advice but what would he do? He decides to walk forward, extending a hand. The other man is puzzled that Shangqi didn’t flip out completely but eventually takes his hand.

Shangqi sees the two of you from the corner of his eyes. No one insults his family and gets away with it. No one will undermine his daughter’s efforts because she’s different from others. With that in mind, he attacks every pressure point that he was taught, refusing to let the other hand go. Obviously the man couldn’t do anything as his daughter was watching this standoff, ‘Daddy what are you doing! Let’s go!’

‘Hold on a second hon-’ He leans forward, possibly to beg Shangqi to release his hand before it gets severed due to blood loss. But Shangqi beats him to it, ‘If I ever hear you say anything like that three feet within my daughter and wife you son of a bitch, your hands won’t be the one in pain.’

The man nods meekly, on the verge of crying out loud. Once Shangqi lets him go, the obnoxious family got out of the arena faster than you could say ‘Cheese’.

‘Baba! That was so cool! You’ve got to teach me that so that I can teach the boys in my school a lesson not to pick on me and Jenny!’ Xiayi runs into him, wrapping her small arms around his waist. He turns to you for answers only for you to mouth, she knew.

Although Xiayi was just a kid, but she was very perceptive. For now, Shangqi doesn’t want that incident interrupting his kid’s moment of glory. So he settles with a, ‘Sure baobei, baba will teach you one day.’ He bobs her crinkled nose.

You decide to interrupt. ‘Now I usually don’t allow this, but who wants boba?’

At this moment, you wondering if you were raising one or two children. ‘Last one out of here is a dumpling!’ Shangqi pretends to sprint ahead with Xiayi running after her father, leaving you behind.

How blessed were you, when this man popped into your life. All because you ran into him on a basketball court years ago?

With Xiayi now, there will definitely be ups and downs, but you felt that as long Shangqi was there with you, nothing felt too much.

A/N: Omg I have no idea how this turned out from the idea in my head HAHA😬 I hope it’s alright! Not an expert in taekwondo or martial arts in general so I tried to rack some basic information that is buried deep in my brain. As always, like and comment if you wish and thank you for reading!❤️

Special shout-out to @wint3r-h3art @crazycookiecrumbles @ntlmundy for encouraging me to write this piece that I had in my brain within such a short span of time! I thought that maybe you would like to read it the moment it comes out🙆🏽‍♀️

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

𝑼𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔

Summary: Hiii i know your request are closed but im just gonna request this anyway bc i don't wanna forget it so can u do a chris E x reader like chris is mad at the reader and when its time to sleep chris turn his back to the reader which is the reader is kinda sad about and the next morning the reader is the first one to wake up and she starts drawing some shapes at chris back and chris starts to wake up but the reader doesn't know and the reader starts spelling " i love you bub" and " im sorry baby" and chris turn to the reader and kiss her this is just like soft chris hehehe, you can do whatever you want at the end! btw i love your writings, stay safe lovely! <33

Genre: angst, eventually fluff

Warning: Chris ignoring reader, implied smut at the end

Blog appropriate for all ages

Request closed

Please don't post any of my content anywhere else without my permission

A soft grunt fell from chris' lips as he pulled off his shirt and pants. It was around 10 at night and he was getting ready to get in bed like most people. Unlike most nights, tonight he was upset with you. It had to do with the fact that you had worked late because something came up, and couldn't spend his one day off with him. It pissed him off and he would talk to you for anything.

Even though you showed no emotions, you were hurt. You hated when Chris ignored you, you hated ignoring so much that you never did it to him. But Chris was different, he was stubborn and he was going to ignore you for the rest of the night all because he couldn't spend some time with you.

-

Chris slipped in the bed beside you; he spared no glance at you, not even mumbling a good night.

He turned his back on you as he laid down and turned off his night light. You felt an ache in your heart as you turned around, back towards him and tried to fall asleep. You would be lying if you said you didn't shed a few tears. It just really hurt you.

Even though it felt impossible, you managed to fall asleep. Without Chris usual cuddles it was tough, but at least you managed.

The next morning you woke up to the sound of chirping. You blinked a couple of times, adjusting your eyes to the light before you turned onto your back.

You peered over at Chris who's back was still facing you. Memories of him ignoring you last night flooded your mind making you feel sad.

You turned onto your side facing him; you weren't sure what you were going to do for him to forgive you.

You brought your soft finger tips to his back drawing a light circle. Before you continued, You leaned over placing a gentle kiss on his back right near his shoulder.

You had no idea but Chris was awake and felt the gesture, i made him smile in the softest way as his eyes remained close.

You pulled back and began to draw words on his back. At first you weren't sure what you were writing until it started to sound like I'm sorry. You continued until it said out I'm sorry baby & I love you so much bub. That was enough for Chris to turn around and wrap his arms around you.

At first you were shocked, you had no idea he was awake. But then you melted into his chest. God you messed him.

Chris missed you too. He knew he was being an asshole for talking to you and he regretted it so much. Now all he wanted to do was make it up to you.

You pulled away and looked down at Chris, "your awake?" Chris shyly smiled. "Yeah, I'm awake." Chris grabbed your cheek pulling you in for a kiss.

His pink lips stamped yours making you groan from missing them dearly. When Chris was done showing you affection, he pulled away, placing a light kiss on your nose.

"I'm sorry I ignored you." Chris said as you got off his chest. "I was being stubborn and I shouldn't have been and I'm sorry."

You looked over at Chris seeing his lips pressed into a thin line. You can tell he was guilty.

"it's okay honey." You leaned over a kissed his cheek. "I get you were upset but next time can you come to me instead of ignoring me?"

Chris quickly nods, "yeah, of course." He chuckled as he looked over at you, it caused you to chuckle as well.

"you know I'm doing anything for the rest of the morning. We can make use of it if you know what I mean." You said as you winked.

"oh I know." Chris climbed onto of you; he placed a kiss on your cheek before pulling away. "And I'm willing to spend the morning doing so." You let out a laugh as he moved down to your lips, you were in for a long morning.

----

[damiano-mylove]

Members of Måneskin with a mentally ill/disordered S/O

Illnesses included: Depression, ADD, Tourette's and PTSD (so warnings for that and SH, drug usage, isolation, and heavy topics in general) *Masterlist*

This was a collaborative effort between Nik, Lina, Lute and two unnamed but very appreciated people - all of us afflicted with the varying illnesses above

Vic

Vic would take an empathetic approach to your illness/disorder (relating to you, researching, never pitying)

Depression

Vic would take a more of a nurturing role to your sadness

On the more sad days, Vic would nap with you for a little bit but she'd get to a point where enough would be enough

She would coax you out of bed in ways that appeal to you more than you'd ever care to admit, starting out with just getting you to eat somewhere else than in bed, then eventually moving up to showering, etcetera, etcetera

Vic would be very acutely tuned toward your needs, and she always fulfilled

It broke her heart that you were so sad, but she could relate and that made it a lighter burden on your back

When you first told her, Vic just went silent, then hugged you for a long time

ADD

Vic wouldn't be as supportive in this, but not in a neglectful way

She had a way of getting your attention back on the topic at hand, but sometimes she was just as bad as you for getting away from the main point

The impulsivity, she wasn't the biggest fan of, but you two worked through it like adults

When you'd forget things, Vic wouldn't get annoyed - but she would always remind you when you forgot what you needed to remember

Also, she was the best for finding misplaced things

PTSD

Vic would be very careful to avoid your triggers, however she never felt as if she was walking on eggshells

Before you were able to fully tell her what happened, Vic would never force you to tell her anything you weren't already ready to tell her of your own accord

There was no way she couldn't feel a bit sorry for you, but she never showed it, and she certainly didn't pity you - she just was sorry that something happened to you to give you PTSD

She would be mindful to never act as if she would be able to fix you

Tourette's

It didn't annoy her as much as you thought it surely would - especially since you had been trying to keep the tics at bay in the beginning of your relationship

Vic usually went on like nothing happened when you'd tic, but sometimes she'd laugh if your tics would hit her

Vic would proudly go out with you, even though you were scared about the looks you'd get on the street, but she never minded because she loved you and she wanted to show you that she loved you

Thomas

Thomas would take a supportive approach to your illness/disorder (reminding you to take your meds, making appointments for you if you'd ask, doing anything he could to make you feel better)

Depression

Thomas would always be the perfect person who would just shut the fuck up and cuddle you, but he would only do it if you'd ask because he knew sometimes you didn't feel like being around people

Wasn't really trained in any of this so he just cared for you like he'd like to be cared for

He was doing his best, and it was apparent, but sometimes you'd have to tell him what not to do and what to do

Of course, Thomas wouldn't bat an eye to stop or start doing anything at the raise of your finger - whether it be rub your back or let you be alone for a bit

He understood that he alone could not cure your depression, but he understood that he would be around for the ride, if you would have him

When you first told Thomas, he was silent, just nodding. He asked you a few very respectful questions but would never dream of pushing you. He would rub your knee and assure you of his love for you, no matter what

ADD

Honestly, Thomas didn't know what ADD was, at first

He googled it, then thought better to just ask you for a primary source

During nights where you couldn't sleep, Thomas would be right beside you, not sleeping either, which wasn't healthy for either of you, but it sure as Hell made you feel less lonely

Thomas lost shit and things all the time, so he never judged you for that, and his memory was potentially worse than yours so who was he to speak on that

But he was extremely good at getting you to finish tasks before moving on (sometimes just finishing them himself)

PTSD

Again, didn't exactly know what it entailed at first, but asked you a few questions to clear the air

Thomas would lead you through deep breathing exercises (unless you told him not to) when you were triggered and started losing control

Would always do anything and everything he could to avoid triggers with you

He would he more than patient with you

Tourette's

He would find some of your tics endearing (not harmful ones)

At one point, you'd even developed a verbal tic saying Thomas' name, which he always chuckled at and responded to you every single time as if you'd requested his presence, each time with a new pet name and a smile

If your tics would hit him by accident, you would apologize profusely, but Thomas would always laugh and brush it off

During tic attacks, he knew to just let you be, unless you would stop breathing, then he would certainly step in

He would ask his doctor a "hypothetical" about how to help someone through a tic attack, then used that advice forevermore, and it usually made a helpful difference

Ethan

Ethan would take a companion role (letting you take the lead, showing him what would happen and what to do to help, always listening to you before making his own move)

Depression

He'd dealt with depression before, but thoroughly understood that everyone is different in how they display mental illness

Ethan would recognize what to do, but would ask you for confirmation before acting upon anything that had potential to make a difference

On days where you couldn't leave your bed, he would bring you food (not a steak dinner, but he would definitely bring you soup or toast or a sandwich)

On days where you couldn't shower, he'd either be in the shower with you, or he'd draw you a bath instead, or he'd buy dry shampoo and sanitary wipes (those would be the last case, because he didn't want to throw off your pH)

He would assure you of his love and that you didn't burden him whatsoever

You were suffering, and you didn't make him suffer, but he did take some of that suffering from you

ADD

Certain times, I regret to say, he may get slightly annoyed, but not for long and not to the point of icing you out or anything

Ethan always found things to keep your mind occupied (watching Monty Python (actually a great programme for AD(H)D people), intricate games, new books, etc)

The best at finding lost things, and also has the best memory under the sun

Your symptoms wouldn't bother Ethan, save for constantly speaking (which can get a little annoying during a film or something)

PTSD

Would basically just go one with life - he would avoid all things relating to your triggers and PTSD - but otherwise, it would be business as per usual

If you got triggered, he would be by your side and on your side

He would do anything; deep breathing, distractions, grounding, getting your meds, anything

Ethan would always let you speak about it, when you'd want to, but otherwise treated you the exact same way as he had before you told him

Tourette's

He's always looking for something to joke about, and sometimes your tics provide just the material

He wouldn't dream of taking the piss out of the harmful or mean tics, but if you were laughing, then he was sure to be laughing as well

If your tics involved a bird whistle, he'd call you his 'little red bird' but wouldn't anymore if that upset you

Tourette's are a tough subject to joke about, but Ethan would always listen if you told him it was offensive, unfunny, or just a bad joke and Ethan would always take it in good humour and apologize

Most of the time though, he could make some funny fucking comments

Damiano

Damiano would take a nonchalant approach (not explicitly talking about it, never take the spotlight off you (if he could help it), try his best to help you through any challenges without making you feel like you were an inconvenience to him

Depression

He was your best friend before he was your lover

As such, you were always able to talk to Damiano about your depression anytime you felt it getting bad, as to warn him

Damiano would never leave your side, unless you told him to, but he'd always have a film on in the back, or he'd play with your hair, or distract you by brushing your hair or having you help him pick out an outfit

He enjoyed cleaning, so your bedroom would never become a depression room, and that helped get you out of your slumps most of the time

Dami was also swimmingly good at getting you up, even if it be just for a dance in the moonlight then back to bed, or a walk around the block then on the couch

He understood wanting to cope, but if you were prone to drug usage, Damiano would totally discourage it and stop you from using as best he could

ADD

Not everyday is a trip to Disney, but with Damiano, it is

Damiano always had new records to catch your fancy, he'd always have some home project lined up for the two of you, he'd always let you do extravagant things with makeup on his face

It seemed if you lost something, Dami would find it, but if Damiano lost something, you would find it (good system actually)

Would always have reminders in his phone so he would add reminders for you on his phone (appointments, birthdays, events)

Damiano seemed to always have just the trick to get you to sleep, even when you felt like you physically couldn't

PTSD

After you told him, Damiano would immediately avoid the topic in future conversations

He would support you fully during any trigger or episode, but he never treated you any differently at all just because you have PTSD

It hurt him that something hurt you so badly, but he took it all in a deep breath - after all, he signed up for you, all of you, so he certainly wouldn't give up on you just because of a disorder

Damiano would be in your corner 100%, and you knew it and you knew you could always go to him

Tourette's

Some tics would get that beautiful smile on his face, but otherwise he continued conversations like nothing ever happened

He didn't bat an eye at a physical tic, not a verbal tic

But he was the man to go to during a tic attack

He wouldn't treat you like a science experiment, or like an insane asylum patient - he treated you with love and support, like no one else ever had

Damiano had read about a dozen books on how to support people with Tourette's, and he'd also talked to other people he knew who had Tourette's - Damiano was thoroughly educated on how to help you, the love of his life

headass this was hard to fuckin write and i know its shitty and the cw’s are a bunch and i cut it but im sorry and hope its good enough

[ptergwen]

Hey could you write one where the reader helps tom, who's heavily drunk, get home? Somehow tonight he's a sad drunk and cries about random things to the reader it amuses the reader, but later surprised when tom cries saying that he thinks the reader is dating someone else because he saw the reader going out with a guy days before??

warnings: lots of drinking mentions and swearing

a/n: woah this is pretty long 😭 got a little carried away heh enjoy

-

“you’re where?” you ask into the phone, eyebrows furrowed as you try to make sense of tom’s drunken speech.

he seems to have gotten himself into a little bit of trouble. all his critical thinking skills blocked out by the alcohol, he ended up calling you. you’re now determined to find out where your friend is and help him home. tom has a track record for doing stupid shit when he’s drunk.

“th’ pub,” tom slurs back. “you wanna join me? have a drink?” you can hear the smirk in his voice. he’s leaning on the bar, but his arm slides and draws an oh, shit out of him. so he doesn’t hear your giggling, you put a hand over your mouth. “y/n/n, you coming?” he asks sort of desperately once he has his balance.

��yeah, tom. i’m on my way,” you reply and head to your front door, keys already in your hands. “hurry,” he commands, then takes a sip of beer from his nearly empty bottle. he’s not making this easy for you. the drunker he gets, the harder it is to drag his ass out of there. “i am, i am. see you soon.” you hang up with a sigh.

it doesn’t take you long to get to the pub, which is a good and sometimes bad thing, this time good. you find parking and speed walk inside. your eyes instantly scan the place for your buzzed best friend. he’s not hard to find in one of his signature white t-shirts, hair slicked back. he’s hunched over in the stool, and his head is down. that’s concerning.

the bartender is cleaning up a spill nearby him when you approach the bar. tom whines out a series of, “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, i’m really sorry,” to him. he’s crying. weeping would be more accurate. his whole body moves while he sobs into his arms. you sit down next to him and put a hand on his back.

he looks over at you with tears falling down his cheeks. “tom, what happened?” you frown, already turned to face him. his eyes water again. “i- i spilled my drink and it got all over and i feel so bad, y/n,” tom tells you in a high pitched tone, the bartender placing down another beer in front of him.

you shoot him a glare because he’s clearly had enough. he swings the rag he was using to clean over his shoulder and shrugs. isn’t part of his job knowing when to cut people off?

“thank you,” tom mumbles to the guy, who gives him a nod before tom grabs the beer off the counter. you snatch it away from him. “oh, no. that’s enough already.” you put his drink down on the other side of you. that encourages tom to cry some more, hiding his face in his arms for a second time. “no fair!” he yells and sounds like a child while doing it.

“you’re gonna have a really bad hangover, or puke this all up, or both,” you explain your confiscation to him. “probably both.” tom lifts his head up, eyes sad yet hopeful at the same time. he grabs your hand with both of his. “will you take care of me?” the question, mostly how he asks it, makes your heart clench.

“of course. let’s get you home, okay?” you stand up and loop an arm around his back. tom follows suit, you pulling him towards you and grabbing his jacket off the stool. “no, i wanna stay with you.” he insists, stumbling forward as you lead him towards the exit. you’re hoping he already paid because you don’t feel like that sketchy bartender coming after you.

“sure, you can spend the night. we haven’t had a sleepover in a while,” you agree, pushing open the door with your foot, arms preoccupied with tom. your offhanded joke makes him emotional again. there’s more to it, though. “it’s- it’s been so long,” tom sniffles out. “aw,” you chuckle and tighten your arm around him.

he used to stay over your place a lot before he moved in with the boys and harry. he misses being able to crawl into your bed and snore while you lay in his arms. you also miss it, so it’s funny how neither of you have said anything.

the tears in tom’s eyes make his vision blurry, which in turn makes him trip over a rock. “sorry, man,” he apologizes to it, you steadying him and letting out another laugh. he’s funny when he’s so far gone. “we’re almost at the car,” you let him know with a tiny smile. “‘mkay,” tom nods and wipes his tears away, leaning into you for the rest of the way there.

tom does fine for most of the car ride. there’s an incident where he gags and you almost pull over, but he ends up not needing it. he feels so awful he nearly puked in your car that it makes him cry yet again. you promise him it’s fine, that you don’t mind and everything is fine. you’ve never seen drunk or sober tom act like this.

you bring him straight to your room when you get home, dropping him on the bed and huffing. tom falls onto his back. he closes his eyes and purses his lips. “do you need anything?” you pant, answering yourself before he does. “you should have some water.” “ok,” tom mumbles and drags his tongue along the inside of his cheek. “ma’am,” he adds.

rolling your eyes, you make your way to the kitchen to get him a water bottle. you start to wonder why he got so plastered in the first place. seeing him in this state beyond worries you. you love tom too much to watch him fall apart. you really love him.

you come back to your room and flick on the lights. tom throws an arm over his head, mouth agape and a groan escaping it. “shit, sorry,” you giggle, shutting the lights off. “you’re a madwoman,” he rasps back. he sounds slightly more aware of himself now. “well, you’re a madman. here.” you toss him the water.

tom obviously doesn’t catch it, so it lands on his stomach. he rips off the cap and goes to take a sip while laying down. he’ll throw up for real this time if he does that.

“tom, tom, tom,” you murmur to yourself in a playfully disapproving tone. you take a seat next to him, tugging at his hand to get him to sit up. he smiles lazily and brings the bottle to his lips, watching a smile spread across your own face while he takes a sip. the two of you make eye contact for long enough that you notice something visibly shift within him.

tom looks down at his lap instead, taking his mouth off the water with a pop. he then exhales through his nose rather reflectively. you take notice of that, squinting at him in the dark. “what?” you wonder aloud. a few seconds go by without tom saying anything, deciding if it’s worth bringing up. he figures he might as well say it because it’ll come out eventually.

“the other day,” tom starts, voice deep and alcohol still in his system. “were you out with someone? a guy?” you’re not quite sure what he’s referring to. “huh?” is all you say back. “harry was picking up dinner, said he saw you on a date at the restaurant.” he gets quieter during the second part, almost upset. you sit up from the comfortable position you were in.

“harry was there? i didn’t know that,” you tell him as you try to piece together the story. tom takes that as confirmation. “so, you were on a date?” he caps the water and throws it somewhere on your bed. “i need another drink.” “it wasn’t a date- hang on.” it finally clicks with you why he was getting wasted by himself in the latest hours of the night.

“you were drinking because you thought i went on a date?” you ask tom softly, another smile pulling at your lips. “um...” he blows out of his mouth and nods, still nodding as he speaks. “yeah. made me feel shitty.” what you said now registers with him. he perks up ever so slightly. “but, you said it wasn’t a date?” “no,” you quickly dismiss. “he’s in one of my classes.”

“we were working on an assignment, and i thought having him over would give him the wrong idea.” you’re grinning by the end of your explanation because of what you feel is about to come next. tom beams back at you, moving closer to you on the bed. “good,” he affirms and brings a hand up to your cheek. his wide pupils search yours, thumb brushing your skin.

“‘cuz i like you, and love you.” his voice drops to a whisper. “love you a lot.” “i like you too,” you breathe out, enjoying the way his warm hand makes your skin tingle. “and, i love you.” “wish i knew that before i got fucking pissed,” tom mumbles, but seems unbothered because he leans in to kiss you. you’re met with his beer breath before giving him a push back.

“speaking of, you’re still drunk,” you laugh and comb your fingers through his matted curls. “i’m not,” tom protests, ducking away from you. scoffing, you retract your hand with a knowing look. “you are. i can smell it. we should go to sleep, tom.” he caves and lays down, letting his head fall in your lap. “fine. can we at least cuddle?”

he’s relentless.

but, you say yes.

[eight-bullets-for-you]

not les mis related-this concerns mcyt

i know this isn’t a mcyt acct so i’m sorry if this doesn’t interest u, but i won’t tolerate any hate

cw: talk of death, talk of cancer, technoblade’s passing

i had a lot of thoughts last night so i wrote them down in my notes app.

i really hope techno knows how much he’s given this community. rest easy king, see you on the other side <3

i’ve always told myself “have no heroes” because idolizing ppl is risky business, but i really looked up to techno. his content helped me when i was going through a really rough time in my life. techno was a hero, and it pisses me off that this is how it had to end. but isn’t techno the one that said, “good things don’t happen to heroes”?

i’ve been told that someone isn’t truly dead until their name is spoken for the last time, so…technoblade never dies.

i took a lot of time last night because i need to be able to talk about my feelings on this topic without feeling guilty. i only started watching mcyt 4-5 months ago, i used to be into it years ago, i would watch stampy cat with my brother. then recently i found it again and so did my brother. it’s kind of how i bond with him, we talk about new uploads and things. i still feel guilty because i feel like i don’t deserve to be this upset over what’s happened. i curled up into a little ball and cried for about an hour. i have a very bad headache now and i’m guessing i’m dehydrated.

i want ppl to respect content creators space right now. techno touched a lot of people and everyone is gonna need time, alright? even us, people who just watch, even if you’ve never met techno, it’s okay to be upset about this. it’s okay to cry, crying helps. techno loved y’all a lot. hurting isn’t a bad thing.

just remember to hold the people u love close while they’re still around. tell people you love them all the time. i don’t think we say ‘i love you’ enough honestly. squeeze them extra tight right now pls

grief consumes us in undefinable, unpredictable ways. there is no right way to grieve. if you cry, that’s fine, let it out. if you use humor to cope, hey me too, that’s fine. if you shut down, i understand, just make sure you let some ppl know how you’re doing. take your time, write things, make art. art has always come from grief, destruction, and death, but it celebrates life. please don’t stop creating if that’s how you cope. don’t stop writing about him. don’t stop drawing him. keep him alive through your art. please take a break if you need it, but if you come back, keep it going <3

if you want to support techno and his family you should go buy his merch, donate to curesarcoma or leave a message on hypixel

i saw the video ten minutes after it was uploaded, my first though was “oh he’s quitting youtube? that’s too bad” but god i really wish that was the case. i saw the comments before the video even started. i kept hoping someone would tell me this was some sick joke or that i was dreaming, but obviously that didn’t happen.

-interlude where i watched night at the museum and then got four hours of sleep-

i’ve woken up now, i wish it wasn’t real. my mind keeps going back to techno when he said “you wouldn’t know my house, it goes to another school” and it’s such an strange moment and i’m not sure why i keep repeating it over and over in my head but it really just shows that technoblade was a light. he was so genuinely funny and it’s a shame that he’s gone.

i told my brother what happened and his reaction was to tell me that i was lying and that made me want to cry. then we watched the video together. i hadn’t watched the techno video yet, i don’t like sad things, i won’t watch them if i know it’s gonna make me cry. i still haven’t finished the video.

my brother and i have been sharing our favorite techno quotes all morning, including, but not limited to:

- “you wouldn’t know my house it goes to another school”

- “welcome home theseus”

- the whole theseus speech

- “i am ready for revolution boys”

- “technoblade never dies”

- “you want to beat me train for another four hundred years”

- “did someone say rebellion?”

- “when god sends me to hell i want him to hesitate”

- “hippity hoppity get off my property”

- “a lesbian referred to me as ‘actually pretty funny’ and my ego has been coasting ever since”

- “officer i drop kicked that child in self defense”

- “you see, i was using an advanced strategy called lying”

its been good to laugh with him. i didn’t think it would hit me this hard.

i’ve been saying “see you on the other side” a lot more now. it’s something my english teacher/speech coach taught me. she’s this super badass woman and she’s helped me so much. she used to be in the peace corps and she said they would never say goodbye, they would always say see you on the other side. i’ve been trying to not say goodbye so much anymore, but instead learn from her. goodbyes are so little, yknow, it’s an end. but “see you on the other side”? that keeps going. i don’t know if that makes sense to anyone except me, my brain tends to work a bit goofy, but it’s like saying no matter what happens, i’ll see you again.

it’s like that song, remember the one by charlie puth? it goes like “i’ll tell you all about it when i see you again”. i used to cry to that song years ago, but i haven’t even thought about listening to it yet. i don’t think i will. i think that’ll be too difficult right now.

i grew up in a religious household. i’m not really religious anymore. i practice paganism/wicca sometimes, but that’s unimportant. just from what i know about heaven and hell and god, god wouldn’t have hesitated for a second. technoblade belongs in heaven. he was the nicest, kindest person i’ve ever known. i know techno is up there 1v1ing god rn, and we all know he’s gonna beat him.

you know what fucks with my head the most about all of this? the fact that techno’s dad was like “you’ve given them so much already, you can rest now” and techno wrote the last video then died 8 hours later. scientifically i know it’s not really probable that he waited to go until that last video was done, but isn’t that strange? maybe it does work like that. techno touched so many people, and he felt like he had to give us one last thing, and then he could rest. it hurts my heart and my head a lot. death really fucks with my brain bc i always feel like i need to control/understand everything, but i don’t know what comes after death. that scares me. but i hope whatever the fuck comes after treats technoblade well, because he was one of the good ones.

[clefairymuke]

regrets | chapter ten

prev. chapter | next chapter

pairings: levi ackerman x reader / eren jaeger x reader

themes: enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut

tw: violence / explicit sexual content

word count: 2135

You took a few steps on your own today. It was fleeting before you fell on your ass, but it was progress nonetheless. You were grateful to hear Hange's excited squeals, and Jean and Connie's brotherly encouragement, but it felt difficult to allow a smile to cross your face. Something was bothering you today.

When Jean dropped you off, you saw no sign of Levi despite the setting sun. You were alone with your thoughts for what felt like the first time in a while; six days felt so long to you for some reason, and the past month felt like at least a year. Something had been nagging at the back of your mind all day -- distracting you from your physical therapy, preventing you from laughing with your friends, allowing unneeded stress into your already overwhelmed mind.

That morning, on your way to meet Hange, you were hanging from Jean's arm as you limped through the growing grass. He was still making jokes about Levi, now calling him your boyfriend, but you entertained it. The two of you could barely get any words in between your howls of laughter, until a single pair of green eyes managed to ruin your mood completely. Eren was sat atop a wooden fence, Armin sitting crosslegged on one side of him while Mikasa stood on the other. You let your eyes dance freely over to him for a second, but that was an awful decision. He was already looking at you intently. He offered you a small smile, but you could see that his eyes were sad. You smiled back.

Even if you didn't want to be with Eren, it still hurt that he never came back to talk to you. As you stared at the ceiling above, you wondered if you were a bad person. Eren was a good guy, you thought, and you did lead him on to some extent. You wondered for a moment if you should've given it a chance, then shook your head at yourself. It would be completely unfair to him to pretend you felt something that you didn't; then again, the current situation wasn't fair to him either. You were perpetually trapped between a rock and a hard place.

You rubbed your eyes before running both hands through your hair, pulling just slightly. You found yourself, strangely enough, wishing that Levi was there. It was nice to have someone that you could talk endlessly to and yet still share long, comfortable silences. He was decent company. Your ears and face perked up as you heard the door start open, but it wasn't Levi.

"Hey, can we talk?" Eren stood timidly in the doorway awaiting your answer, his face drawn in like he was expecting a harsh "no." Blood rushed to your cheeks, and you sat up hurriedly. You were sure that your anxiety was prominent on your face.

"Yeah, of course," you answered calmly, attempting to regain your composure. Eren walked in and took a seat in Levi's chair, looking down. It reminded you of how he looked when you rejected him -- defeated, yet still attempting to maintain his pride. He opened his mouth many times before he actually began to speak, leaving you wondering if you should be the one to start this dreaded conversation.

"I'm sorry for leaving like that, and for not coming back. I --" he coughed like something was caught in his throat. "Um, sorry. This is a little bit awkward for me," he chuckled uncomfortably, shifting in his seat. "I just wanted to take a few minutes to talk about it."

"Yeah, for sure," you gulped. Your vision flitted desperately around the room for anything to latch onto besides his sad green eyes. "I wanted to say I'm sorry, you know. I didn't know you felt that way; honestly, I didn't know if I felt that way, either. I liked things the way they were. I never meant to hurt you," you told him, your racing heart beginning to beat a smidgen more slowly. You tried your best to smile at him. It likely came off as more of a frown.

He nodded slowly, his eyes still brimming with melancholy and his face still tense as stone. "I liked things the way they were, too. I shouldn't have tried to take it further; I guess I just felt like we were going somewhere.  I shouldn't have left you here like that either. I just wish none of this would've ever happened," he admitted, rubbing between his glassy eyes with his right hand. "The time we spent together was always really nice, wasn't it?"

Your breath caught in your throat as you nodded. "It was." You could feel it coming before it came, a feeling of pure dread washing over you as he leaned closer toward you. You felt the smallest bit of curiosity join in, too.

"I miss you," he confessed quietly as his lips closed in on yours. When you allowed him to kiss you, you didn't expect it to be so passionate. His hand caressed your cheek so gently, and his lips slid past yours so softly. His other hand rested on your thigh, his thumb drawing circles. It all felt so -- wrong. When he pulled away, you knew without a doubt how you felt. Entertaining it would help nothing. You sighed internally, wondering how to let him down a second time.

"Eren, I don't know --" He shushed you, clearly misunderstanding your tone. He started to lean in again, and you swallowed. "Eren, I don't want this." He leaned away quickly, taking his hands away from your body to land defeatedly in his lap.

You saw a tinge of anger in his eyes before he cast them to the floor. You fidgeted awkwardly and wondered what to say next, but he beat you to it. "You're hard to read, you know. It seemed like you really wanted me -- before I said I wanted you, at least. Is that what did it? Did I move too fast?"

If there's anything you knew, it was to take an out when you had one. "Yeah, honestly. I'm not sure what would have happened if you hadn't. Regardless, though, I don't feel that way about you. I'm not sure if I would have, but honestly, probably not." It was the truth; you considered for a moment that he had you all figured out. Then again, how could he know more about you than you did? The two of you had messed around for what, a week and a half?

"Ouch." You watched his previously soft and sad face harden into anger. "I wish you wouldn't have led me on like this. I wouldn't have done anything with you if I didn't feel at least something small. You should be ashamed."

You drew in a quick breath, bordering on a gasp, as your mind raced to find a suitable reply. The hatred dripping from his voice left your mouth slightly agape, hundreds of words forming behind your tongue but never reaching past your lips. You felt small tears prick at your eyes; whether they were from sadness, anger, or shame was unknown to you.

"I think it may be time to go, Eren," you heard Levi speak from the door, two teacups in one hand and the pot in the other. How incriminating. You figured Levi thought nothing of it -- he rarely ever saw the same nuance behind certain gestures that others tended to notice, like a young, female soldier having nightly tea with her superior after being reprimanded for having sex with another scout while on duty. You hoped Eren was too angry to notice.

He wasn't. He looked up at you, eyes still full of anger but his mouth drawn up in disgust. He got up rather roughly, the chair rattling a bit as he stalked toward the door. "Thanks for the talk. Goodnight, Captain," he muttered as he left.

Levi strode in like nothing had happened, setting up the table and taking a seat, as he had done five times before. You stared at him, knowing your eyes were still widened. When he began to pour the tea, you struggled to hold in a laugh. He paused, looking over at you inquisitively. "Did I do something funny?" he asked, concerned. You watched the eyebrow lift. Always that eyebrow.

"Oh, Levi," you sighed. "You brought a tea set to my infirmary room when no one is typically here, and someone saw you. The fact that you showed up at all is incriminating."

Levi scoffed, continuing to pour the tea. "I thought something serious was happening. Not everyone has a mind like you and Jean. I doubt that it would be anyone's first thought." He set the pot down and looked back up at you. He rested his arms on either side of the cup, shaking his head.

"It was the first thought in Eren's. Didn't you see how angry he looked?" you questioned. Surely, you thought, he wasn't that oblivious.

"Sure it was. Eren's always angry. Plus, he was jealous," he said bluntly, finally taking a sip of his tea. Everything he did was so nonchalant.

It stung a little, being pulled back to your conversation with Eren. You hated how angry he was, but you figured nothing could be done. You nodded, sighing, and lifted your cup in response to him. "Yeah, he was pretty upset."

"He wasn't upset, he was pissed. He wasn't being very polite to you, and you looked like you were about to cry. How long had he been on like that?" One thing you had learned about Levi that you didn't know before is that he was incredibly curious.

"You showed up pretty much as soon as he got angry. Before that he was all sad and stuff. It took him a while to actually understand what I was trying to tell him," you told him, the tiniest bit embarrassed. Talking to Levi was easy, but not without its reservations.

"And you were trying to tell him . . .?"

"When I first got hurt, Eren came to see me. He started talking about how I meant a lot to him. I guess you could say it freaked me out. I told him I didn't feel the same way and basically broke things off," you began, one hand tugging at your hair. Levi listened intently.

"That's a valid reaction," he commented as he sipped his tea. "I would do the same."

Joke or otherwise, it drew a laugh out of you before you continued. "He stormed out, and I hadn't spoken to him since, until today. He showed up unannounced and told me he wanted to talk. I was a little embarrassed and anxious, but I didn't mind it. I didn't have any issues with him being here."

"Of course not."

"So we talked about it. I was trying to avoid hurting his feelings, but I think he completely misunderstood. I was trying to tell him that I don't feel that way about him. Instead of getting that and moving on, he goes the other route and tells me he misses me. Then he kissed me. I started to tell him that I didn't know if I was comfortable with that, but he just tried to kiss me again. He finally got it when I told him no, and that's when he got pissed off. That's when you showed up." You drank from your cup, waiting for Levi's response. It was unlikely, you thought, but maybe he had some advice.

He sat there for a moment, thinking. After a few long seconds, he set down his teacup and reached his hand out to you. The gesture was foreign, but not nearly as foreign as the feeling when his fingers brushed your knuckles and his palm came to rest on the back of your hand. None of the rest of his body moved, no leaning in or smirking lips. Just a single comforting touch. "Are you okay?" he asked as you stared conspicuously at his hand atop yours.

You nodded your head at him. "I'm fine. I just wasn't looking forward to that conversation. It didn't go nearly as well as I had hoped," you admitted, chewing the inside of your lip. "It was pretty upsetting when he spoke to me that way."

He pulled his hand away and went back to his tea, his eyes understanding. "It'll be fine. I don't think you were in the wrong, if that helps anything."

You weren't really listening, still staring down at your hand. The warmth from his hand was fading, but something else wasn't. It tingled all over, in every spot he had touched.

How strange.

[tiredb0igivemesugars]

The struggles that come with being a Stark

Summary: Y/n has been very down lately and feels completely alone even if the tower is buzzing with Avengers every day. On one particular morning y/n is forced to come out of his room and he heads down to his father’s lab, y/n feels very ignored and storms out crying. Peter goes after y/n and gets him to open up. Can something deemed “broken” be fixed?

Words: 2.4k

⚠️Warnings:⚠️ Mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts, some light swear words

Pairing: Tony Stark!dad and reader!son

Note: the timeline is all funky to my understanding but please just roll with it... again

It had been good for a while, really good, but in the back of your mind, you knew it was only a matter of time until things got bad again.

And eventually, they did. Like always

It started with the little things. When you didn’t have the energy to put the freshly washed clothes you thought nothing of it. It started with feeling the need to sleep all the time, you tried to blame it on stress, not wanting to admit how bad things truly were.

Getting up in the morning was harder, showering was suddenly too time-consuming. Before you had the time to realise what was truly going on, you were laying in your own filth. Surrounded by stuff you couldn’t remember ever bringing into your room, the blinds were closed. Sometimes you opened the one closest to your bed, it was nice to watch the outside world from time to time. You saw how your friends ran and played outside, ever since Peter joined the Avengers it was like they just got more and more childish, but it was nice. All of the Avengers had rough lives and seeing them so happy made you feel a sense of relief. This was all Peter’s doing, he was keeping the atmosphere good, it didn’t necessarily matter if you weren’t there, they’d be fine.

That’s what you told yourself, ending it all wasn’t something you necessarily thought about, but it was a game in your head. A fantasy really, a game you noticed yourself playing more often than not. The game kept you busy, sometimes for an entire day.

  But there were days when the game wasn’t as fun, on those days you went outside of your room, you tried to do it so that no one would see you, sometimes you’d run into Steve or even to your dad, but not often. Your dad, Tony, made jokes of how you had ”emerged from your cave” and if you were too unfortunate enough to walk out of your room when a lot of them were in the kitchen or in the living room, you’d get an ”oh how nice of you to join us”. You knew that he didn’t do that to hurt you, but it ended up doing exactly that. His words stung, they haunted you even when you were alone, like an echo in your head.

You woke up when the sun hit your eyes, you had forgotten to close the blinds, again. ”Jarvis, close the blinds,” you said, voice groggy. No answer. ”Jarvis?” You asked again, receiving no answer. You groaned as you realised that you had to go down to your dad’s workshop, to tell your dad that Jarvis wasn’t working in your room. You sat up on your bed, feeling hazy. You slowly stood up to walk towards the elevator.

Your dad was working with Peter in his workshop. ”Dad?” You called out from the door, no answer. ”Dad?” You tried again, louder this time. Peter noticed you as you stood by the door. ”Mr Stark,” Peter said, immediately catching your dad’s attention. Peter pointed in your direction. ”Oh, what’s up?” Tony asked, quickly looking at you before turning back to his work. It frustrated you to see your dad ignoring you in such an obvious matter, it annoyed you that he didn’t hear you but he heard Peter.

Frustration turned into sadness as tears prickled by your waterline, you tried to blink them away as you cleared your throat, catching your dad’s attention. ”What is it?” He asked, sounding annoyed in your opinion. ”Nothing, just that J-Jarvis isn’t working in my room,” you said as you walked away. You didn’t want your dad or Peter to see when you cried. ”What’s up with y/n?” You heard Peter’s voice ask as you walked away from your father and him. ”I don’t know, maybe y/n’s feeling a little upset,” you heard your father say, clearly trying to say it in a way so that you wouldn’t hear. ”Should someone check up on y/n then?” You heard Peter ask. You didn’t hear what your father said due to the fact that the elevator doors had closed.

As the doors closed, your tears began travelling down. You weren’t jealous of Peter, you couldn’t be, he brought so much happiness to everyone. It kind of pissed you off how smart he was, you had your fair share of skills which your dad used to take interest in, he tried to get you interested in anything that might involve your skills, thus making you develop. But since Peter came along, it was all about him, it was good that your dad had someone to share things with, since you weren’t really interested in his field, but it still hurt to not get even nearly as much attention from him as you used to.

You weren’t really feeling your nest today, just in case your dad came by to fix Jarvis, which you highly doubted, you wanted to be somewhere else. Maybe the vents, there you could spy on people, you used to love being in there as a child, but abandoned that when you turned older.

You climbed inside the vent and were surprised by how spacious it still was, even for a young adult like you. You had no idea which way you should go but decided to follow the noise that reached the vent, Natasha and Steve in the training area. They were fighting each other while having a rather loud conversation. ”I don’t know what’s wrong with y/n, but I also don’t think that it’s okay for Tony to just ignore it all. He’s not doing anything to make y/n feel better,” Natasha said as he swung Steve’s legs from under him. Steve’s back hit the ground, getting his air lightly knocked out. ”But young people get sad all the time, why should he jump at y/n’s every whim?” Steve asked as he slowly got up from the floor. ”Y/n isn’t just sad, something is wrong and we should help,” Natasha said and kicked Steve in the chest. Steve grabbed her leg and sent her flying across the room.

You didn’t bother listening to their conversation anymore, was everybody suddenly talking about you? Why was suddenly everyone on your case? Why did they care?

”Hey y/n,” you suddenly heard from behind you, making you yelp loudly. ”Hey sorry it’s just me,” Peter apologised. You fell against the wall of the vent but decided to stay there in a sitting position. ”What are you doing here?” You finally asked after calming down a bit. ”I came to check up on you, you seemed a bit off,” Peter explained. You groaned loudly, ”Why is everyone talking about me today!” You complained.

Peter settled to sit next to you, but still giving you space.

”Everyone is just worried, you look sad and we barely even see you anymore. You’re hard to even recognise nowadays.” Peter said, stealing glances at you. You groaned slightly, trying to decide how to possibly end the conversation.

”I do realise that I might be the last person you want to talk to, yet I’d beg to argue that I’m the one to understand you the best.” Peter was right, and you hated it. You banged your head against the wall of the vent in frustration, ”I hate that you’re right.” You finally admitted. You took a deep breath before opening your mouth, might as well. ”I don’t know, it started out small. I was a child and some bad stuff was going down and I really didn’t know how to deal, people are more likely to notice a depressed child than a depressed young adult I guess.” ”Dad got me some help. Talked to a real nice lady, gave me blocks to play with and all. Yeah well anyway, I thought I was better. A lot of years went by that I was completely okay, until recently.” You explained as you pulled on any loose cuticle or nail you could find on your fingers. ”It just crept up all of a sudden, I didn’t have the energy to fold my laundry or make my bed. And then I just started sleeping a lot, like a lot. And before you know it, I’m awake at three in the morning, on the roof, and I’m looking at an at least 20 story drop. And I have no idea what the hell I’m doing there.”

It felt like some weight was coming off of your shoulders, you silently shook, eyes getting a little teary - that was good, right? "And then there's the fact that I'm a Stark. I'm Tony Stark's son and expectations are laid on me every day, if not by him then the world. I don't know if I have what it takes. I mean, I am smart but I'll never be able to fill his shoes." You continued, drawing the curtain open a bit more.

”Did you ever think about telling Mr Stark?” Peter asked, curious.

”Well I mean, at first I didn’t even notice anything that alarming, and when I finally did notice, it felt like it was too late, you know? Like how would I even bring that up? Hey, dad, I kind of want to jump off of a building because I’m sad!” You said, the last part overly cheery to compensate the tears that currently were cascading down your cheeks.

Peter moved a little closer to you, ”You know, it’s never too late, Mr Stark loves you very dearly and he wants to help you.” When you didn’t answer Peter he took the chance to do his own monologue. ”You know, he never shuts up about you. To him, you’re his most successful invention, he always talks about you, never fails to mention your achievements, no matter how small. You’re the best son Mr Stark could have. He’s genuinely so proud of you and he loves you more than anything, it breaks him to see you like this because he’s so lost he doesn’t know what to do to help you.”

After that Peter let the silence sizzle in the air, he waited for you to say something. You needed a moment, what Peter said opened your eyes, you had never thought that your dad even could be proud of you and to hear that he was the proudest of you and he loved you that much just put things into perspective.

”To be completely honest, I was kind of jealous of you and the bond you have with my dad.” You admitted when you felt strong enough to talk again. Peter laughed a little, ”why on earth would you think that?”

”You build stuff together, the two of you as a duo looks like the most normal thing this tower has seen in years. It feels good to know that dad has someone to share his passions with since I’m not all that talented or interested in whatever the hell it is that you two do, yet I sometimes feel jealous. It’s not your fault and you shouldn’t feel bad, it’s just my brain. I’ll get over it.”

”Do you want to go talk to Mr Stark?” Peter asked after a while. The moment was over, but you still wanted to thank him. ”I think I have to. By the way, thank you. Thank you for finding me and talking to me, it really means a lot.” You said and offered Peter a smile, a smile that was for the first time in months, genuine.

Peter returned the smile, ”It was nothing really, you would’ve done the same for me.”

”Mr Stark!” Peter called out once you entered the workshop, the dishevelled head of your precious dad shot up from somewhere admits all of the ”junk”.

”Y/n wants to talk to you!” Peter said before turning to you. ”It’ll be alright,” he reassured you and gave you a thumbs-up as he walked out, giving the two of you some privacy.

”Son! What’s up?” He asked when you approached him. He climbed out of a machine he was building. You took a deep breath as you sat down on something you felt would hold your weight. You felt your dad’s burning gaze, yet, you decided to not return it. You stared at your shaking hands as you slowly began. ”D-dad, I think I need help.” Silence. ”I don’t know, I’ve been feeling pretty bad lately and I feel like I should talk to someone about it.”

You heard your dad pull out something with wheels on it, he seemed to sit on it and roll towards you. His feet quickly came into your view. His hands slowly grabbed yours. ”Look at me,” he said, his voice shook just the tiniest amount. You slowly found his eyes and took the sight in. There was no disappointment or anger in his voice, just worry. ”I want to help you, and I will. But I need to know what’s going on.”

You sniffled a little, breaking the eye contact to collect yourself.

”I didn’t even notice it at first. I just didn’t have the energy to do the everyday things, I was exhausted all of the time. The next thing you know I’m having a staring contest with the concrete from the roof in the middle of the night. I don't even know why. I guess I'm just not happy anymore. It's not that my life sucks or something like that. I'm a Stark, people expect things and I don't know if I can amount to that greatness. I'm not like you, I'll never be." You said, trailing off at the end.

"Y/n, I'll never want you to be like me. You are perfect just the way you are, you are my son - best one anyone could ever ask for. I'll always love you and you're the most important thing to me in this whole world. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most. I promise I'll get you all the help you need and I promise to never leave your side." Tony said all of those things with ease, his voice shook but there was so much meaning in his voice. It was gentle and loving, like the hug he offered you. You accepted the hug since your dad was the best hugger in the world.

His arms wrapped themselves around your shoulders as you laid your head on his shoulder. "Y/n, I love you 3000, don't you ever forget that." He whispered into your hair.

[sammysmaddy]

Goodbyes (Samifer x Reader)*

Summary: Sam's said yes to Lucifer and when Lucifer finds all of his dirty thoughts trapped inside his head, he gives Sam a front seat show to his sister.

Pairing: Lucifer!Sam x Winchester!Reader

Warnings: incest, sister!cest, noncon on two accounts, choking, p in v, angst, crying, biting, blood mentioned, Sammy having dirty thoughts about his little sister ;)

W/C: 4,000+

A/N: Idk where this idea popped out of but I love it 😏😳 :) Also I know that twistedly isn't a word, okay? Edited to the best of my ability because I’m too scared to load smut into grammarly 😂

Masterlist

•••

"Sammy? What are you doing here?" She asked, her eyes full and wide as they stared up at him.

"I just wanted to see you," He replied, looking down at her as she sat up against the headboard. He could tell she was still half asleep, a little startled by his presence, and he could practically hear her heart beating out of her chest.

"You didn't?" She trailed on, furrowing her eyebrows and looking super concerned. Sam gave her a soft smile, shaking his head 'no'. As she scooted over towards the middle of the bed, Sam sat next to her, and placed his hand on her thigh in a sense to reassure her. "You okay, Sam? What happened?" She asked, worry lacing her voice in response to his body language. She could tell he was upset, but unfortunately she couldn't read his mind.

"I couldn't do it, Y/N," He admitted, looking down at his hand over the simple white sheet. She was warm and even through the fabric he could tell how soft her skin was, invoking a feeling deep within Sam that he'd never allowed himself to feel. "I couldn't leave you."

"Where's Dean?" She asked, yawning and craning her head back against the headboard. Sam got the opportunity to admire her for that split second, looking down her simple tank top, and even noticing how her throat was pretty. Then, Sam started to think about what she had said. Dean. Why was she always so worried about Dean? It was clear to everyone who met the Winchesters that Dean was her favorite big brother and here Sam was, telling her that he came back for her, and she was asking about Dean. Even though he should be used to it by now, it still makes his blood boil.

"He's pretty pissed with me so I'm sure he's off at some bar," He explained, looking down to admire his hand on her again but then she shifted. When Sam looked back up to gauge her reaction, she looked down, and Sam's heart began to race. Fuck, maybe she had found him out.

"Why is, uh, why is Dean pissed?" She stuttered getting out, swallowing hard. Sam's eyes follow hers but every time he's about to catch them they stray away. She's nervous, her leg is no longer under his hand, and her entire body is tense. Sam needed to think of something and something quick.

"I really don't want to talk about it," Sam said, looking back down, fighting back the smile on his lips as he saw her body relax. Nobody knew Sam better than she did and Sam figured if he continued to act closed off- she wouldn't pry or ask any questions, he was right. When he looked back up, she gave him a sad smile and reached up to swipe a stray hair out of his face. Sam leaned into the touch, his hand coming up to hold her wrist there, and relished the way her soft skin felt on his face.

"Sam, really, are you okay? I figured Lucifer would at least send some demons after you. You know with the whole Detroit thing." Y/N pried and Sam loved that her only question was to ask if he was okay, that he could pull off.

"I'm okay. I just couldn't leave you," Sam gave her a soft smile. When her hand dropped down, Sam held it in his own and ran his thumb over the back of it.

"You're so sappy," She teased, laughing lightly, and Sam shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly. "But we talked about this. Dean and I will be fine, you don't have to worry about us. I just- I don't know what to say." She frowned, looking down, and then looking back up to Sam. "You get that this isn't about us, right? We have had some really shitty plans on how to deal with Lucifer but this is the best bad idea we have so far. And I don't want to say that I'm upset that you didn't say yes but we need to think of something, and we need to think of something quick." She gave Sam a sad look.

"Yeah, I get it," Sam sighed aloud and felt her grip onto his hand. "I needed to say goodbye first."

"We said our goodbyes, Sammy. Hell, I was with you when you drank all of that demon blood," She laughed quietly and Sam gave her a small smile. He took a leap of faith and leaned over, kissing her hard until her head hit the headboard lightly. His lips moved around her still ones, his hands moved up to cup her face, and she didn't move for a few seconds. Once she began to tense up, Sam held her face from straying towards the side, and kissed her more hungrily. Her hands moved up and grabbed his wrists softly, pushing them off of her, and she pulled her head back away from him. "What was that for?" She asked softly, wide eyes staring back into Sam's lustful ones.

"Part of my goodbye," Sam told her, diving back into her lips. She was more prepared this time, struggling as Sam held her wrists in place on the bed, and she tried to turn her head away from him. Sam kept her held there, kissing every bit of her face that he could reach, enjoying the small whimpers that fled as she fought against him.

"Sam, we can't. I don't want to," She pleaded when she turned her head to the side. Sam didn't listen as he used this opportunity to kiss down her neck, nipping at the soft skin, and leaving marks that would form over the next twenty-four hours. "Sammy, this isn't right. You have to stop." She tried pulling her wrists away from his grip, but he wouldn't give. Her knee came up, pushing against Sam's ribcage, and she got a good jab in that made him pull back.

"You don't love me?" Sam asked in a pout and she looked at him with eyes wide and filled with fear.

"I do, but I don't love you in that way. You're my brother," She frowned, tears welling at the brim of her eyes. Sam looked down, sadly, as he was beginning to realize that he was going to have to force her. "I'm not mad, Sammy, I swear." She said softly, using her fingers to push the hair out of his face.

"Please, Y/N," Sam begged, looking up as she gulped nervously. Sam noticed how even though she seemed so scared, she was still gentle and caring about how Sam was feeling, it only made him want her more.

"No, Sam. I'm sorry," She told him. He watched as her lip trembled and fresh tears fell down her face and frowned to himself. He took a deep breath, swiftly collecting her wrists again, and climbed over her small body. She fought much more this time and Sam could taste her salty tears on her lips, drinking them in like water. Sam sat on her thighs to keep her legs down and her fingernails began to dig into his forearm as he continued to attack her mouth with his.

"Stop struggling," He told her firmly, almost in a growl, and she whimpered in return. When he reached down to kiss her again her teeth dug into his bottom lip, drawing blood and making him pull back. "Bitch," Sam muttered, using his fingers to wipe the blood off of his lips. She made use of her free hand to push against Sam, but he wouldn't budge. She was crying a river and when Sam's hand reached up and wrapped around her throat, she stopped moving altogether.

"You're not Sam," She said, her voice shaking, as she looked back up into his eyes. Sam grinned at her cockily and her eyes squeezed shut as he applied more pressure on her neck.

"What gave me away?" Lucifer asked in Sam's voice, whispering against her ear, and feeling the chills that ran down her body.

"Sammy would never hurt me," She choked out, crossing her arms over her chest for protection. She didn't bother pushing against him, it would be no use, and Sam was internally screaming at Lucifer to stop.

"You sure about that?" He checked, chuckling deeply. He placed a wet kiss along her jaw line and she choked out a sob, trying to curl her knees up to her chest, but he was too heavy for her to do so.

"Please, don't do this," She said in a small voice, grabbing onto his wrist and trying to loosen his grip. He let go of her neck altogether and she gasped out for air, then his fingers danced against her collarbones. He admired how pretty she looked in her tank top, how plump her lips got from the way that he sucked on them, and he couldn't wait to see the faces she made when he fucked into her. Sam knew what was coming next and as much as he hated to admit it, it felt good to finally let go.

•••

"I'm inside your grapefruit, Sam. You can't lie to me. I see it all- how odd you always felt, how... out of place in that... family of yours," Lucifer smirks in Sam's body in the mirror. Sam's biting back, trying to block him from seeing everything, trying to claw his way out. "That's not how you're supposed to look at your sister, Sammy." Lucifer chuckled lightly, shaking his head from side to side.

"Don't talk about her. Don't even think about her. I'm going to rip you from the inside out, do you understand me?" Sam threatened through gritted teeth.

"Sam, I've had some messed up thoughts about my family too. I mean, seriously, I'm using your meatsuit to try and kill my brother. But this? This isn't even something the Devil himself wouldn't think about." Lucifer joked and Sam's fists were growing white from holding all of his anger inside. "Baby sister, Y/N. Who would have thought she's what turned your gears at night?"

"No, that's not true," Sam said in a desperate attempt to flip the script, but he couldn't hide anything. He couldn't hide any of his dirty thoughts about, Y/N, or about the fact he had dreamt about being inside her. He couldn't hide that he wondered about whether or not she'd be quiet when he fucked her or what she tasted like. He couldn't hide that he imagined her face as she came undone around him and he couldn't hide how he'd never wanted anything more than he wanted her. But Sam had never advanced on her, ranking it down to a dirty fantasy, and she'd never shown any interest.

"It is. And here I thought having all of Azazel's gang to kill would help you blow off steam," Lucifer scoffed, turning his body so Sam could see all of the people throughout his life that terrorized him. He recognized every one of them, from teachers to his prom date, but he was more angry about the fact that his cover was blown about Y/N. "Or maybe you'd prefer something else I can offer." He chuckled deeply, turning back to Sam. Sam swallowed hard, increasingly worrying about Y/N since he wasn't in control of his body anymore.

"I don't want anything from you," Sam spit out, his face white-hot with anger. The look in his own eyes as he stared into the mirror was something that Sam had never seen before. They were his eyes, yes, but Lucifer had installed a different kind of lust that Sam didn't recognize.

"Oh, come on, Sam. This is your one opportunity, using me as an excuse to fuck your little sister. She'd never blame you. I just want you to be happy and these pawns just aren't going to do it for you, are they?" Lucifer tsked and Sam tried harder to claw his way out, but Lucifer was too strong. "I can put a good show on for you, show you what you've been dying to see for all these years." He offered, but Sam didn't let the thought become a possibility in his head. He wasn't going to do it like this. "Remember when she grew breasts? Like overnight? That's when you started to look at her differently. You stopped thinking about her as a little sister, just a hot fuck, and you felt so sick." He said, bringing back Sam's old memories. Sam was too angry to reply, he stared into the mirror with angry silence and furrowed brows. "But then you didn't feel sick anymore, isn't that right? You even accepted the fact that you wanted to fuck her. You've been dreaming about it ever since. Even when you were with Jess. Used her and pretended she was your baby sister, how naughty."

"Stop talking," Sam shook his head angrily, he couldn't hear the truth anymore. He didn't want to be the person that Y/N thought of when she thought about how fucked up her life was, he didn't want to hurt her more than she was already hurting.

"Denial isn't going to get you anywhere, Sammy," Lucifer had let out a low chuckle, deviously smiling at Sam through the mirror. "Bet she's so tight. Bet she plays with herself every night, maybe even in the same bed as you. Bet her scream is so pretty." He taunted and Sam tried his hardest to not think about what he was saying. But Sam had often thought about these things. He knew that she probably was tight, knowing that she hadn't gotten much action since being on the road with her brothers, and he couldn't stop his mind from wandering. "Big day is tomorrow. I say we make a pit stop at the motel, maybe she'll be all nice and ready for you, Sam."

•••

He drank up every bit of her. Both Sam and Y/N's clothes were on the floor, hers shredded and long forgotten, as she cried underneath him. It was more of a silent cry now, small whimpers, as Sam's painfully hard cock dragged in and out of her. Her body was so tense it made her cunt tighter than Sam could have imagined, and he hated himself for enjoying it so damn much. She was almost lifeless, laying there and letting him take what he wanted. Small whimpers, Sam wouldn't dare call them moans, fled her lips and Sam desperately chased his high- more so for her than for him, despite how insanely aroused he was. Her fingernails were digging into his forearms and she had her head turned to the side, too ashamed to look at Sam as he assaulted her.

Sam hadn't realized that he was crying until he saw his own tears on her naked chest. He couldn't bare to look at her face, realize how much he was hurting her. He couldn't think about the fact that, if he made it out of this alive, this would be the first thing she thought of. She would never look at him the same, if ever again. She wouldn't ever trust him, she wouldn't be happy to see him, and she would never love him again. It was killing Sam and he, too, had stopped his internal fight with Lucifer. He stopped clawing inside his own head, knowing that Lucifer was too strong, and began to let himself feel whatever Lucifer wanted him to feel.

"Sammy, it's okay. It's okay, I'm okay," She sobbed and Sam finally looked up to see her face. She brought her hands up to cup his face, wiping away his tears with her thumbs. Lucifer took his opportunity, knowing Sam could see everything, as he thrusted into her harder than ever before. She cried out, biting her lip, and closed her eyes shut as much as she could.

"I'm sorry," Sam croaked out, feeling the way his body was moving involuntarily and betraying him. She couldn't hear him, he knew that, but he needed to say it. He needed to know that he wasn't actually enjoying this, he needed to know that it wasn't his fault. She was hurting and Sam couldn't fathom that it was his fault. His body fell down and pressed against her, burying his face into her neck as he wrapped his arms under her head. Sam wouldn't dare call it a moan, but with the new angle she had let out a noise.

"It's not you, Sam. I know that. I love you," She whispered in his ear, wrapping her arms around his back. She held onto him tightly, pressing him against her body more than he already was, and began to whimper uncontrollably. Sam almost felt safe in her arms, like it was a hug, and tried his best to focus on the way she held onto him. His hips were rutting into her at an unforgiving pace, with no sign in the future that he was going to come undone, and he continued to tell himself that it wasn't his fault. He'd never to that to her. He'd never hurt her. This wasn't him. He would never make her do something that she didn't want to and he appreciated that she was still so caring, even though it was his body that was attacking her.

Sam groaned loudly when she wrapped her legs around his waist, the heels of her feet pushing him deeper inside of her. She had let a string of fucks come out of her mouth and she was holding onto him as tight as she could, Sam could feel her walls clenching around him more sporadically too. Sam hated that he felt pride, knowing she was close, knowing that she was about to cum on his cock, but something about her being satisfied made him happy. The thought made something in his core rumble and each thrust was feeling better and better- he was close too.

"Fuck, Sammy," She let out in a breathy voice and Sam couldn't help but groan at her words. When her legs began to shake and her teeth sunk into his shoulder, masking all of her moans of pleasure and hints of disgust, Sam began to fuck into her harder. It felt so twistedly good to feel her clenching so hard around him, that his cock was the thing she was cumming on, Sam was even starting to enjoy it. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," Y/N whined, trying to catch her breath. She was letting out guttural moans from her throat, squirming underneath him, and Sam was loving every second of it. He was so close to coming undone as her legs fell to the bed and Sam began to miss the way she was pushing him into her, but she still held onto him with her arms.

"Come on, Sammy. Cum for me," She encouraged in a whisper, making Sam's eyebrows furrow in pleasure. He knew that she was only saying these things so that it would stop, but Sam used it as a push to his release. Or tried to, just as the guilt began to push its way in his mind. He couldn't help but let his thoughts trail off. She'd never forgive him for this and Sam could never forgive himself either.

Y/N had sensed that Sam was tensing above her, rejecting what his body wanted so desperately to do. When she had came, Sam's body began to tremble and she knew he was close. Now, he was tense and his thrusts were harder, surely bruising her core, and almost threatening to bring her to the edge agin.

"I'm sorry," Was the first thing that she had heard from the actual Sam all night and it was so quiet she wasn't even sure she was meant to hear it. She knew that he still had to be in there and as much as she was hating what was happening, hating that her body had betrayed her, she knew it wasn't Sam's fault. He was merely a pawn for Lucifer and as to why he had chosen to do this to her, she had no idea- but she knew there was only one way out of this.

"Want you to cum for me," She told him, beginning to emphasize the small whimpers and moans that were already leaving her mouth. Y/N wasn't sure if that would make things worse or better- hearing his baby sister say those things to him- but Sam had let out a deep moan and she knew he was beginning to relax. "Cum inside me, Sammy. I want it." She lied, feeling disgusted with her own words, and Sam began to moan louder.

His thrusts began to get sloppier and harder as he began to feel his cock twitch inside her. She was still pulsing around him, her cunt trying to milk him for all his worth, and soon enough his hips stilled. Y/N felt immediately relieved and somewhat nauseous, knowing that her big brother had just cum inside of her- but it wasn't really him. Sam would never do this to her- he'd never want to do this to her. He gasped out for air, a long groan following, as he came inside of her- pushing his hips up inside of her as much as he could. "You did so good, Sam." She praised in a quiet voice, her fingernails rubbing up and down his back. He panted into the crook of her neck, holding onto her, and smelling her hair. But the moment didn't last long and he felt his body sit up.

His fingertips reached out and touched her forehead, and Sam watched as she fell asleep. He climbed out of bed, pulling the covers over her naked body, and began to walk to the other side where his clothes were at. He quickly pulled on his underwear and his pants, looping his belt through the holes and securing it. Sam grabbed his flannel off of the floor, heading for the bathroom where Lucifer could talk to him.

"How's that for a goodbye?" Lucifer chuckled cockily and all of Sam's anger fled back into his body. It was a mixture of guilt and sadness, hating the way that her words were the ones to push them over the edge- that he had wanted to hear that kind of praise from Y/N for so long.

"I'm going to kill you," Sam muttered seriously, looking into the mirror at himself. His chest was glistening with sweat and he could see Y/N lying in the bed behind him. He was the most angry he had ever been in his entire life but seeing Y/N peaceful and asleep brought some sort of serenity to him, at least he didn't have to kill her.

"Relax, kid. She won't even remember it," He smirked at Sam. "But you will." He smiled and Sam grunted, annoyed with all of the stupid comments, but most of all relieved. If what Lucifer said was true, she wouldn't remember it. She wouldn't resent or hate him for what he had done to her, she would still love him.

He began to feel sick with what he had just done, but he tried to remember what she told him. It's okay, I'm okay. It's not you. I love you.

"You know, I didn't even move for the last minute or so. That was all you, Sammy,"