#i was rosesblueviolets

[alexandrablake]

rosesblueviolets -- > alexandrablake

my hands are shaking and that is rude

old pinned post

[qvid-pro-qvo]

oh my god the martian????? an incredible movie. i love it.

eva YES

i LOVE the martian i LOVE mark watney i LOVE the whole crew i just - i sit and i watch that movie and it makes me so happy. i named my first car matt damon for reference as to how much that man himself influences me on his own but that man in SPACE doing BOTANY and being A GOOD MAN i could cry

i could cry i might watch that movie right now

[cressida-cowper]

going to need you to stop posting about lena because i am slowly and surely falling in love with her

that’s the whole point <3 i’m bringing all of you into the light

[luvervinyl]

wait okay but the way your main and your side blog compliment each other is just excellent??

Aksnjsjs thank you 🥺  

[morepeachyogurt]

Absolutely wild to me that there are 300 of you!!! I’d like to say thank you all I’ve been having fun these last couple months I’m glad y’all like the nonsense I post on here!! I love you all so much!! So, let’s kick this rodeo off, I’ll be doing this until the end of the month and everything will be tagged ‘lucy’s 300 follower celebration’ muah!!!

Everyone!

✍️- I’ll give you a long winded paragraph about the subject of your choosing. I have very strong opinions on everything, let’s do it babey I know the law

🖋- I’ll give you a quote or a poem

🐎- I’ll make you a gif set of your choosing (character, ep, ship etc)

🔖- I’ll give you a fanfic rec from my ao3, please specify what you’d like

🐸- frog meme!

🍋- fact about me! Or ask something you’d like to know

Mutuals <3

🧠- I’ll psychoanalyze you or you can psychoanalyze me!

🎴- personalized Moodboard, you have to give me something to go on, color, theme, just a word, anything

💌- handwritten love note muah

🙈- rank your mutuals most to least likely to __ (I’m pretty sure we covered every cyma last time)

Tagging mutuals as one does @kermitsaysgayrights @morciaa @thestrawberrygirl @pretty-b0yy @prentizz @drinkingcroissants @scandinavian-punk @ssaemxlyprentxss @ssajelle @ssa-lukealvez @elizabethxolsen @rosesblueviolets @laurenxreynolds I think that’s enough?

[sapphiics]

CONGRATS BABES!!! Can I get a spring moodboard bc that SAD got me down, and then CYMA as CM of course, and the moot ones? LOVE YOU! 💖✨

thank you elle!!! I love you so much

👷‍♀️- moodboard

here is your spring one!

💂‍♀️- cyma as cm characters

@thestrawberrygirl as alex blake

@greenaway-lewis as jordan todd

@kermitsaysgayrights as luke alvez

@haleymalaffey as spencer reid

@ssajelle as jj

@rosesblueviolets as emily prentiss

@laniidae-passerine as derek morgan

🕺- a movie/tv show scene that reminds me of you!

season 4, when JJ brings henry to the round table and they all pass him around and derek holds him and gives him the bottle🥺 you’re very motherly and sweet and it’s such a heartwarming scene

👯‍♀️- a handwritten note

🧍🏻‍♀️- a surprise

your surprise is me! fun fact i’m not friends eith anybody in this picture anymore but i keep it up on my wall because i looked good. i’m also 12 in it to give some insight

[thefandomlesbian]

Song of the Magpie

Summary:  In a phone call, Spencer receives some bad news.

Thank you to @rosesblueviolets for beta reading! Please check out their blog. :)

Read here on AO3 for better formatting. 

...

Curled up on the leather couch on his side, Spencer faced the television, staring bleakly at the blank screen. He held his cellphone in his left hand. His arms dangled over the side of the couch. He folded his knees up toward his chest so all of his frame would fit. The living room was dark; he hadn’t turned on a light when he entered this room to take the call, a call from an unknown number from Las Vegas.

He had worried it had something to do with his mother and stepped away from the kitchen where Aaron cooked to have a modicum of privacy.

Warm, yellow light bathed out of the kitchen, and the smell of the dinner Aaron made met Spencer’s nose. His stomach flipped. I can’t eat now. He swallowed hard. I was hungry before. Was he? He couldn’t remember. He couldn’t remember before. Before was ten minutes ago--before was a lifetime ago.

Before his phone rang, he had intended on going camping with Aaron and Jack next weekend, entirely certain he would hate it and was looking forward to getting mosquito bitten and catching lightning bugs, something he’d never really gotten to do as a child. Now, there would be no camping. There would be no tents, no mosquito bites, and no lightning bugs.

Just his funeral suit and a plane ticket to Las Vegas.

Aaron left the kitchen, wiping off his hands on a dishcloth. Flour marred the front of his apron, hot pink and reading Kiss the cook with an emblem of lips displayed underneath the sequined lettering. Spencer had given it to him. It always made him smile. But now his smile had given up the ghost. He couldn’t prompt his lips into anything more than the line they were pressed into.

“Spencer?” Aaron put down the dishcloth and approached him. “Are you still on the phone?”

Spencer shook his head, mutely. A concerned frown touched Aaron’s face, his brows furrowing, as he tilted his head to make eye contact with Spencer, coming between him and the black television in the dark room.

“What’s wrong?”

What’s wrong? Spencer knew almost every word in the English dictionary, and a metric ton of words in other languages, too, but he didn’t know how to put these feelings into words. “I--” His voice cracked. Am I going to cry? He didn’t want to cry. “I have to go to Las Vegas.”

Las Vegas didn’t deserve his tears. His father didn’t deserve his tears.

Aaron waited patiently for an explanation, not pressing; Aaron never pressed, always waited for Spencer to process and reach his inevitable conclusion. Spencer closed his eyes, because he thought saying the words aloud would make him cry. It would make it all the more real. He didn’t want it to be real. For this moment, he could pretend it had happened solely in the digital world of his cell phone, where life was immaterial and theoretical and had no true ramifications.

But the moment passed, and Aaron deserved to know. “My father died.”

With the tenderest of hands, Aaron lifted up Spencer by the shoulders, just enough to slide underneath him, and placed his head in his lap. One calloused hand tangled up in Spencer’s hair, stroking over Spencer’s scalp. The silence grew between them. His hands were warm.

Spencer hadn’t realized how cold he’d gotten since he answered the phone.

Aaron pulled the afghan down from the back of the couch. With his right hand, he scraped his short, bitten fingernails over Spencer’s head. The remnant flour shed from his skin. With his left hand, Aaron wrapped one of Spencer’s cold hands in his own. Restoring warmth seemed to be the first step.

There were lots of conversations to be had. Aaron would ask a lot of questions, and Spencer would answer them. They would probably argue. They would probably take off work. Spencer would apologize for not being able to go camping, and Aaron would tell him that was a dumb thing to apologize for, and Spencer would want to do something with his parents’ house, and Aaron would recommend doing something else based on what he’d done when he’d become an inheritor himself, and Spencer would want to be alone, and Aaron wouldn’t let him, and Spencer would wonder what he did to deserve someone who loved him as much as Aaron did.

These things would happen in due time.

But, right now, Spencer didn’t want to talk. And, right now, Aaron didn’t make him. His fingers in Spencer’s hair said everything: “I’m here.” That was all Spencer needed to hear.

Spencer rolled over, buried his face into the soft of Aaron’s abdomen, and began to cry.

[duchesschameleon]

happy 2021, cheers to the new year

so we are responsibly in one tonight so i’m gonna be sappy about some of the wonderful people on this app.

@agentsnickers: finn!!!! my finny, possibly my oldest friend on this site and it’s all because of a fanfiction that came out 10 years ago. you do mean the world to me and i appreciate you so much.

@deagibs: deanna!!! your enthusiasm, support, and kindness means the world to me. you are always there to talk and cheerlead and just be the best. you’re incredible and amazing.

@iconicc: ishi, i know we don’t talk as much (ugh i wish we did!!) but you are always so sweet and genuine. your writing is amazing and it always puts a smile on my face to see you on my dash!

@zachhymanaf: lauren, we don’t talk very often but i would love to get to know you more!!! your posts always put a smile on my face and i love all my hockey people. also i see you in my notifications all the time and you’re great :)

@winterscaptain: tali i won’t lie, i’m still a little blown away that we are friends. i look up to you as a writer, you are incredible, and i’m constantly in awe of you. you are incredibly sweet and so supportive and i’m honestly honored to be your friend and count you among mine. here’s to more fun reactions and messages, getting to know you the last few months has been a GIFT

@hurricanejjareau: red i’m fairly certain ‘seattle’ was one of my first cm tumblr fics and i could not be happier that it brought me to you. you are incredible and amazing and so, so kind. i love talking cm & svu with you (and YES i love sonny carisi with all my heart). you are just, the best and i am honored and happy to consider you a friend.

@qvid-pro-qvo: qvo. qvo my darling. i cannot put into words how much your friendship means to me. from cm to svu to shooting tiktok headcanons back and forth, our friendship is so important to me. i love you so, so much. you are incredible, your writing is incredible, and you are gorgeous. i love you more than words can say my darling.

@rosesblueviolets: eva, eva my dear. i love you. you are the kindest, the sweetest, and just the best. your tags always make me laugh, you are incredibly sweet and kind and i just love you. even if you are a hawks fan (just look after dylan strome and alex debrincat okay?)

and it is 12:03am now, happy new year to everyone!!!

these are just a few people i can think of in this state to shout-out but please know if you follow me - for hockey, for cm, for svu, for musical theater, for whatever - i appreciate you so much. here’s to 2021!!!

[alexandrablake]

10/10 url choice 😌😌

thank you priya 😌😌

[alexandrablake]

i miss rosesblueviolets

[qvid-pro-qvo]

nah, baby, we bringing this to the asks. you said no comments but i've got a few. there's no way that you're saying its better than three musketeers. my brain simply refuses to comprehend.

i am and i won’t back down 

the way the music from 12 dancing princesses lives in my head on repeat.......... derek and genevieve............ the SISTERS TEAMING UP AT THE END TO PROTECT THEIR HOME..........

[qvid-pro-qvo]

beard

aaron hotchner x gender neutral reader. i was gonna work on a wip but my brain is tired and this is all i could focus on today. oh, well. enjoy!

word count: 658

rating: teen, for a little bit of kissing, and, y’know, beard. 

-

you knock at his door the way you always go, a quick one-two tap that is just enough to lift his eyes. it’s not too much of an intrusion, lets him know it’s you. every time, he gives a quick response. his voice letting you know you can enter, a small smile as you open the door, a tilt of his head up to look at you from his desk.

it’s perfect.

but this isn’t for work. there’s no case file in your hand, after all, and the sun is setting outside. people are starting to pack up work, hit the road.

not aaron hotchner. not yet.

so you knock, of course, before you come in. your grin is bright as you lean against the door frame, just, looking.

“hey, i think i’m gonna grab some dinner with em and derek.” after a moment you pause, think. “and maybe jayje, since henry had a sleepover, which mean will’s probably gonna meet us. spence isn’t decided. pen is definitely coming.” you can’t help your chuckle. “what i’m saying is the invitation’s open. we’d love if you came out, too.”

quickly his head shakes. you can’t help your little pout at it, one that earns you an apologetic look. “i’m sorry,” he’s quick to explain. “erin wanted a review on our budget, so i need to finish double-checking these numbers.”

“right, of course.” you’re still a little disappointed, but you know it’s not him. you know it’s just the way of the job. and sometimes the job really sucks. you pull your smile back on, easy, especially as you walk towards his desk and make your way towards him. “just wanted to offer.”

“and i appreciate it,” he assures you. his pen is down now, looking up at you with his head tilted far enough back you can see the full line of his neck, the edge of his beard. it’s not often you look down at him, and the sight gives you an urge to push your hand through his hair, one you give into with gentle fingers so the styled shape can stay.. somewhat intact. his lips curl up a little, and your eyes are taking in every piece of him you can. the little hook of his nose, the apples of his cheeks, the dark brown of his eyes. 

god, it’s a pretty great view.

“just know i’ll be thinking about you,” you murmur, and your hand moves down. curls a little around his chin. you love the feeling of it now, hair coarse against your palm. your nails scratch along it, and his eyes flutter a bit. he leans into the touch, even - you can’t help the way it makes you smile. “you sure you don’t want to come, handsome?”

his answering hum is warm. “... maybe i’ll meet up with you later.”

“only if you can. don’t push yourself if you don’t have the bandwidth,” you whisper, and that’s when you push down to kiss him. it’s a tease, you admit it - you let it linger, after all, and when you’re done with his mouth you drag your lips over his jaw, nuzzle his cheek with your nose. sure, aaron had a job to do, and you’re a good distraction. but one he wouldn’t fall into with a hand on your waist if he couldn’t. and when he pulls back you do, too. he lifts his finger to your nose, and let a few small circles push away the light irritation he knows is there. “but no matter what...”

“and either way...” he rumbles out. there’s something in his eyes that makes it a promise.

“either way, i’ll see you soon,” you finish simply. then your smile goes a little wicked, even more so as both hands cup his cheeks. he chuckles at the delight in your eyes as your thumbs catch over the upper edge of it his facial hair. “one more day? please?”

it’s getting long. a little scruffy. he’ll at the very least have to trim it soon, and you know that sometimes it’s more of a bother than a blessing. but today, he doesn’t mind nodding with a smirk.

“as long as jack doesn’t mind too much.”

“as long as.” one last kiss, for the road, for you both, and then you’re moving to his door.

“love you,” he calls out, and your look over your shoulder is fond.

“love you, too, aaron. and if i get home first, i’m hiding all of our razors.”

-

tag list:  @genevievedarcygranger // @quillvine // @falcon-arrows // @afuckingshituniverse // @sercyan // @sparklingkeylimepie // @alexxcorona113 // @mandyandy22 // @thedeaddrop // @angelsbabey // @lolychu // @icyprincess // @gabbygabbie // @cevanswhre // @roses-and-grasses // @baadmaxx // @ssaic-jareau // @mooneylupinblack // @rachelxwayne // @dilaudidwinchester // @stylesboy // @grandpascurtains // @softbibxtch // @winterscaptain // @hurricanejjareau // @averyhotchner // @crazyshannonigans // @rosesblueviolets

[qvid-pro-qvo]

record

aaron hotchner x gender neutral reader.

-

the song comes over the speakers, a little hiccup at the beginning. your eyes have been on dinner, a crockpot jess set up smelling divine in the late evening hours, but now they shoot up as the first horns play.

a steady swell. aaron doesn’t sing, but he does laugh when you start to, a hand coming over your mouth to hide the twist of your lips as he offers a hand out.

“no.” your voice is a little hoarse, the end of the case including a shouting match over the roar of a fire. the smoke had gotten to you, and you hadn’t spoken much at all on the plane ride over.

“yes,” aaron chuckles, and takes a couple of steps closer.

and then the voice comes in, a raspy croon.

baby, it’s been a long day, baby

things ain’t been going my way, you know i need you here

one last gesture of his hand. his sleeves are rolled up, and you can still see soot on his skin, the stuff under his nails before he turns his palm up to you.

you take his hand. let him pull you close, in a yank that has you laughing despite yourself, a small gasp of “aaron!”

it’s like you see right through me and make it easier

believe me, you don’t even have to try

it’s barely dancing. neither of you are trained, but it doesn’t matter. because it’s aaron spinning you too much, and your laughs are loud as he pulls you close with his arms around you. your living room fades away, and it’s him and you.

the cases come. they go. but this truth remains the same, as you dance on the floor, socks and suits on. the smell of smoke, and as the song plays on, you’re simply holding one another.

you feel his smile in your hair. a kiss against your temple.

you are the best thing

you are the best thing

you are the best thing

that ever happened to me

-

tag list:  @genevievedarcygranger // @quillvine // @falcon-arrows // @afuckingshituniverse // @sercyan // @alexxcorona113 // @mandyandy22 // @thedeaddrop // @angelsbabey // @lolychu // @icyprincess // @gabbygabbie // @cevanswhre // @roses-and-grasses // @baadmaxx // @ssaic-jareau // @mooneylupinblack // @rachelxwayne // @dilaudidwinchester // @stylesboy // @grandpascurtains // @winterscaptain // @hurricanejjareau // @averyhotchner // @crazyshannonigans // @rosesblueviolets

[qvid-pro-qvo]

v. the reveal.

ocean’s eleven au. for funsies. aaron hotchner x female!reader. george foyet x female!reader. 

word count: 1281

rating: e for everyone. 

i. // ii. // iii. // iv. // v. // vi. // vii.

-

a phone rings. it makes the bodyguard in front of the both of you halt, turn to look and scan the area, the floor, the both of you.

at first you stop, eyes blinking at the noise. george does, too, his hand resting on your lower back as crowds start fleeing the arena set up for the match. when you turn to him, his eyes are expectant.

“are you going to answer it?” he asks, and you raise a brow at him.

“i don’t have a cell phone.”

that makes his lips twist. in that moment, you’re sure it’s because he’s forgotten that simple fact – you offer a small smile, and yet that damn phone keeps ringing.

suddenly his hand is in your pocket. you feel a flash of warmth at the movement. it brings him close, and you feel the barest scrape of fingers against your body through the fabric, but that fire is gone as soon as it’s arrived. your hands reach for your other side, and your digging is successful, brandishing a phone you’ve never seen before ringing so loud it makes your teeth clench.

“this isn’t mine.”

he doesn’t pause in his steps, and you’re keeping up with him, glad that your dress only barely trails the floor as your high-heeled movements stay quick.

“see who it is,” he tells you.

you glance towards george again, his eyes appraising you as you flick the phone open and hold it to your ear.

“hello?” you ask, and the voice that responds is achingly familiar, even if you don’t recognize it yet.

“ciao, bella,” it tells you, and you feel your spine stiffen, memories fighting to push to the forefront. “may i have a word with mr. foyet, please?” it’s pleasant, almost cheerful, and the older man who it belongs too is definitely smiling when he says it.

you hand it over, your brow still high on your face. “it’s for you.” he doesn’t question it, simply raises his own brow and lifts the phone up so it’s nestled against your ear.

george’s demeanor changes before your eyes. his hand drops from your lower back, his shoulders straighten. his jaw clenches as he glances down at his watch.

“who hell is this?”

you don’t hear the other end of the conversation. but george is stopped, and there’s something alight in his eyes.

“what did he say?” you ask. there’s no answer again, but the way his eyes hit yours, something curls in your stomach.

he doesn’t talk any more with the person on the phone, but the line stays live. he’s off, and you’re left to follow, eyes glancing to him every few feet. he’s stressed – you can tell by the way he tilts his head every so often, like he’s trying to feel out where the stress headache will land. by the time your nerves build, too, the two of you are in his vaults’ control room, and you have to narrow your eyes against the glare of the screen.

“what the hell’s going on in my vault?” george commands, voice sharp, ground out through his teeth. the security at the control panel look up at him, and for a moment all you see is their fear, so clear that you can almost taste it on your tongue.

“uh, nothing, sir. it’s all normal.”

“show me.”

the vision changes before you, the screen cutting to cameras in, around, right outside where george’s money is kept. nothing. normal. absolutely empty, save for the valuables. for a moment you can breathe easy again, and george’s voice is confident, not cocky. “well, i’m afraid you’re wrong, my friend.” his hand reaches out to you, urges you closer, to sit on your waist –

“are you watching the monitors, my friend? okay. keep watching, then.”

you’re close enough to hear it, the slow drawl of the words, each syllable emphasized. your eyes go wide as you watch them.

“in this town your luck can change just that quickly.”

the screens flash. there are people in the vault, shoving money into bags, security hogtied and subdued. all of a sudden, the reassurance that nothing is wrong turns to dread, and then another emotion. another feeling.

“find out how much money we have in there.”

you don’t need to hear the number. you know it’s exhorbitant. and you know what it would take to break in, the details, however secret from you, intricate enough to be on your radar. you know what it would take. 

and you know who would dare. 

there’s another flash, another vision, this one in your own mind. you feel aaron’s body against yours, the brush of his lips against your cheek.

i just wanted to say goodbye.

the touch of his hand against your jacket. you wonder how it felt against his fingers as they dipped low, dropped the cellphone you had never seen before in your pocket…

“sweetheart.”

your reverie is interrupted. you find yourself looking at your boyfriend, and his smile, so charming, is off. slanted.

“maybe you should…” he pauses.

your anger flares. “maybe i should what?”

“maybe you shouldn’t be here for this.” he smiles again, like he’s doing you a favor, and the implications of what he’s saying settle poorly in your stomach.

your jaw clenches. more anger. frustration, realization, bile in your throat when you realize that you’re just a tool in some childish games once more. the voice on the phone once again surfaces, and the familiarity of it hits you like a sledgehammer, or the realization that your ex-husband’s coworker was really a con man all of his own.

it’s without another word to your boyfriend that you stalk off, dress swishing around your legs, heels clacking confidently on the concrete floor until you make it to the floor level of the casino.

he’s not hard to find – you remember his adoration of the slot machines, the tables being a little too easy. and when you find him he’s smirking to himself. you don’t announce your presence, but you see him pause as your steps inch closer, firm thuds along the carpeted ground until you settle in front of him.

that’s when his eyes widen. only a fraction. he’s still speaking to george, after all.

“mr. foyet, you can lose eighty-million dollar secretly, or you can lose one-hundred and sixty-million dollars publicly. it’s your choice.” when he finishes, he offers the barest smile, lifting his chin at you.

“hello,” david rossi says to you, hand covering the phone’s speaker and holding it against his shoulder.

“where is he, rossi?”

“you look lovely,” he starts, a charming smile with that same salt-and-peppered goatee, and your eyes narrow.

“where’s aaron?”

it makes rossi’s lips twitch, your insistence, and he doesn’t take his eyes off of you, meeting them levelly. “aaron is fine. he’s in good form, your man.”

the fond words make a sharp smirk appear on your perfectly lined lips. you watch rossi’s eyes glance down to them before he grins. “he hasn’t been my man for a long time.”

“well, he does have one final request.”

you laugh. bite your lower lip before crossing your arms over your chest, clutch still in hand. when you look at him again, it’s with a raised brow, a slight tilt of your head. “oh, really? and what’s that?”

“he would be honored if you’d go upstairs and watch a little tv. it’s all right, bella. i promise, we’ve got him.”

without a glance back, he pulls the phone up to his ear. he starts talking again, turning on his heel, as good as a dismissal. but his last smile to you is fond, and you’re left alone with the slot machines, aaron’s voice once again in your head.

i just came to say goodbye. be good.

a scoff is ripped out of you, and you can’t help your little smile, one last thought before you decide that perhaps your rooms are the best place to be. not because of aaron. not because of george. because of you.

right. goodbye, my ass.

- 

tag list:  @genevievedarcygranger // @quillvine // @falcon-arrows // @afuckingshituniverse // @sercyan // @alexxcorona113 // @mandyandy22 // @thedeaddrop // @angelsbabey // @lolychu // @icyprincess // @gabbygabbie // @cevanswhre // @roses-and-grasses // @baadmaxx // @ssaic-jareau // @mooneylupinblack // @rachelxwayne // @dilaudidwinchester // @stylesboy // @grandpascurtains // @winterscaptain // @hurricanejjareau // @averyhotchner // @crazyshannonigans // @rosesblueviolets

[morepeachyogurt]

As the year comes to a close I thought I’d join the trend and do some mutual appreciation!! I love every single one of you but here are the people I’ve actually interacted with 💞💞

@royalpenelope Grace!! You were one of my first friends on here and I treasure all of our interactions, also you’re one of the funniest fucking people on here,I absolutely hope you have a good year and hope we talk more! I love you so so much!! (Regardless of the je*d content and questionable taste)

@pretty-b0yy Simi! You were also one of my first friends and I love how kind and positive you are! Thank you for putting up with me and your unwavering confidence in me! I love you so much!!

@thestrawberrygirl you’re like one of the most talented people on earth I swear, I’m in awe of you!! I love talking to you so much and learning about your batshit crazy life is the highlight of my nights!! Much love to you darling, and I hope we talk soon!

@kermitsaysgayrights Sophia!!!!! I was so excited when you followed me a couple weeks ago and now I’d like to think we’re close friends ands that cool as hell!! We have the same brain!!Thank you for instigating the penemily mafia it’s a blast. Your writing us just lovely and I wish nothing but the best for you. (And for you to get a better sleep schedule and drink water but that’s beside the point 💞)

@ssaemxlyprentxss Viv! You were one of my very first followers and I didn’t quite now who fucking cool that was at the time! Your edits are fantastic and I love seeing your random posts. Thank you for letting me make a satire hate blog about you it was fun! Muah

@scandinavian-punk yashasree! You’re so cool!! I had tons of fun with Jeanne and I think your really neat! I hope you have a lovely 2021!

@lizziechase @elizabeth-chase (I forgot which one you’re using while making this) abbie!! I love your gifs and seeing other content! Your blog is so so cool! I hope wandavision is everything you could wish for and I look forward to seeing you talk about it!!

@jordantodds hey Erin! (You’re asleep but) you’re so cool and very chaotic I have a blast interacting with you! I hope we talk more in the future xx

@haleymalaffey my tumblr mom Haley!!! I love love your unwavering optimism and your daily showering of love it’s such a joy to see you on my dash! I love you and I wish you a very pleasant year!

@peanutbutterworm your art is so cool?!?! Like really!! I enjoy seeing you in my notifications and on my dash! Keep it up it’s nifty!!

@penemily rose, I’m still shocked you follow me to be honest?! You’re one of the funniest people on here and I love all of your content. Not to mention all of your writing is so beautiful and eloquent.

@prentizz hi Noel! You’re so funny and sweet!! I really really enjoy interacting with you and hope to continue to do so in the future. I wish you good luck with all your things! Muah

@gaymemeaesthetic pluto! You’re so funny and you seem like a blast! We don’t talk a bunch but we should! I hope this year goes well for you!!

@babey-jj layla!! I have a blast talking to you! Especially during my chaotic ask hours! You’re so fun and I love love seing you on my dash. Ily!!

@rosesblueviolets hi Eva! You’re so sweet and I really enjoy talking to you and you are an incredible writer! I hope we talk more!

@abitcriminalminds yas! We don’t talk but you’re really cool and sweet!! Not to mention hilarious, I know it’s already New Years where you are but I wish you a lovely 2021

@abbyprentiss Abby, you seem really fun! I haven’t spoken to you much but I’d love to in the future! You’re a joy to see on my dash

@derek-morgan-love-squad thank you for sending me the sweetest things! You seem so full of joy and love and I really admire that!

@emilyprntiss hi ana! Your gifs are really really good! I also enjoy seeing you on here and we should talk more. Xx

@fuckshitupm8-deactivated3728 Maggie! We don’t talk (and we should) but you seem very very sweet! And very talented, keep on keeping on (idk)

@hellskitchensmurdock ainsley! I love love seeing you on here! Thank you for always reading my fics that’s so cool of you, you’re like the best and you seem super sweet. Ily

@reidology hi Maeve! We don’t talk but I wanted to wish you a happy new year!

@shemar-moores-titties lilith! You’re really cool and I have fun interacting with you. Thank you for the insane energy you give I love it!

@agentshortstacc joey! We don’t talk but hi! And I hope you have a nice New Years!

@moreidism hi iqa! I love your content and I hope you have a fantastic year!

People I’m not moots with but enjoyed their content this year- @criminalmindsgonewrong @gothwyfe @ellesupremacy @appalachianapologies @ag-ib @themetaphorgirl

I hope I didn’t miss anyone!! I love you guys!

[qvid-pro-qvo]

to avoid flying.

a long car rides with you piece. aaron hotchner & bau!gender neutral reader.

word count: 1300

rating: teen, i suppose, for the ways that we tell ourselves we’re not worth the effort, and the reminders that we very much, always are (tw: mentions of blood, canon-typical violence). 

-

Your jaw cracks open into a yawn, and it seems to radiate from the deepest part of you. Exhaustion from your very core emerging and coming out with a groan. It’s not a particularly great sound, but it mirrors the air outside, the sun still rising, barely past the horizon.

Hotch doesn’t comment.

You almost wish he would. Once again, the two of you are alone in a big black van, and he’s been scanning the case file before him incessantly. But you know that there’s something that keeps his shoulders from relaxing while you drive. The knowledge that high above, the rest of the team will soon be pushing ahead, far outpacing the speed limit of a lone highway.

Maybe it’s the pain. Maybe it’s the ringing in his ears, the lingering signs and symptoms that you get when you’re thrown ten feet back as your car explodes. Thinking about that visual makes you wince, but you have a feeling that it’s what’s made him silent. The feeling of someone’s life leaving you bit by bit, bleeding out as a pinch at an artery that’s been torn apart...

It was a bad case, all right? Too many close calls. This team you’re still so new to, so close to ending in too many fucking ways. You can’t help but squirm at the thought. 

The radio is on, but it’s low. You move to turn it up to drown out your thoughts, but it seems too loud, all of a sudden, when you do. Blaring. Especially as Hotch tilts his head just so, a slight wince. 

Okay, then. The cabin of the vehicle feels like it closes in, a little claustrophobic. You turn it back down again, shifting in the relative silence until your hands are moving up and down the steering wheel.

You can’t help but be fidgety, hearing Garcia’s voice in your head, like she’s on the phone, over the speaker or against your ear. Your energies aren’t mixing, my newest BAU hottie-lamottie. It’s… off. And you’re inclined to agree, considering that your toes accidentally tap against the gas in your anxiety and push the speed a little faster than the cruise control.

“You didn’t have to drive.”

The sudden sound of his voice makes you jump in your seat, with another push of your foot on the pedal. When you turn to look at him, there’s no hint of a smile, and the file is still open in his lap. No apology for making you jump. His unending neutrality… fuck.

“Well, we weren’t going to let you,” you say lightly, an attempt at levity, and this time he does turn to you, brow raised. You suppose tone isn’t everything, but you’re doing your best to show that it’s no big deal. Because it’s not, it’s really not. You’re happy to do it. Your smile is gentle, cordial.

He doesn’t laugh. Barely nods.

Right.

Your hands start moving on the wheel again. “I just… do what I can. And that means making sure my boss gets to our case in one piece.”

“I know the… rotation the team has planned,” he repeats. There’s not a lot of enthusiasm in his voice, but you nod. “You all don’t have to be my chauffeur.”

You’re forcing a chipper attitude, now. It’s to try and get a smile out of him. “Gave Garcia a spreadsheet and told her to go nuts. It was cake from there.”

It doesn’t work. If anything, it tenses him, makes his jaw twist a bit, clench.

Okay. New tactic. Your body kind of slumps, all faux-energy leaking out of you like a flat tire. “Look, Hotch,” you say, sighing. “It’s driving. It’s nothing. We’re happy to do it. All of us.”

“It’s inconvenient,” he says, and the word carries a weight that you can’t help but dissect. It sits heavy on his tongue, seems to linger in the air just a moment too long. It twists his lips with disgust, and you wonder what kind of an inconvenience Aaron Hotchner thinks he is.

“I’ve worked in the FBI bureaucracy for a while now. I’m used to inconvenience.”

Still not swayed. You feel yourself getting a little frustrated now, especially as he turns from looking at you back onto the file. “For cases, it’s hard to justify the time spent on the road.”

Which… seems a lot like an excuse. Your laugh is tight. “So you read the case file, you start the profile. I get it. But after five hours,” you argue, “you probably have those pages memorized.”

“There’s a benefit to getting ahead,” your chief shoots back, and you try to keep your volume from raising.

“And you’ve gotten ahead. You’re telling me you haven’t looked at the facts ten different ways already?”

His fingers grip the edge of the file in frustration. Like he’s pinning them there so he doesn’t do something more. Squeeze his knee, clench a fist. “So… what would you have me do, then? If not work on a case that expects the best when we get there?”

The question hovers in the air. What would you have Aaron Hotchner do? On a drive that seems endless, on a road that goes to somewhere, but not for a long while?

“Why do you have to do anything?” you counter, and that doesn’t seem to satisfy him. You can almost feel the eye roll he’s shooting your way. “What?”

“Nothing.” And that’s that. Or, at least, Hotch thinks that should be that. He looks back down at the paper in front of him, flips another page.

And that’s the point for you. Of no return, maybe, but you don’t care.

“Look, you want to know how I really feel about driving you?” It’s blunt, a little loud to pull his attention to you, and Hotch’s finger on the page stops. You shoot him a little look, a smirk. “It… it sucks, okay?”

That – well, it catches him by surprise. You can tell in the way he stiffens, lifts his chin fully and just stares at you. But you push ahead, taking a little breath for courage.

“It’s boring, chief. It’s dull. Driving isn’t the greatest thing in the world, and you know that. So I won’t lie, it’s tiring, and coming up I’ll stop at another gas station and get something sugary and with caffeine to keep my eyes ahead for the last three hours we’ve got on this road trip. But we do it because we care, because we want you to recover, and at the end of the day, it’s worth it.” Your eyes pull off the road again, to really look at him, and he seems to be looking at you, too, scanning your features for something that’d betray you.

After a couple of beats, you make the final push. “And you want to know something else? Everyone knows the passenger is responsible for keeping the driver awake during trips like these. So you better start making conversation, because we’ve got a long way to go.”

You keep your gaze relaxed, keep your grip on the wheel low and loose. You look at him and smile before flicking your gaze back to the straightaway that stretches for miles. And with a soft exhale, you catch him moving in your periphery. He slowly pushes the case file closed, taps the contents to straighten out the pages and slides it into the briefcase that sits at his feet.

“What’s on the radio?” he finally asks, mildly, and you smile, reaching down to turn up the speaker just enough. It’s something trendy, something new, and he reaches out to change it, throwing it back with the push of a couple of buttons and a new song plays that makes the smallest smile show.

Maybe one day, inconvenience won’t sound like such a dirty word on Hotchner’s lips. Maybe one day he’ll be able to realize that forgetting the time at a good bookstore and having to rush to a meeting is inconvenient, that picking up a friend when you’re already halfway home is inconvenient, that a stop at a third gas station for the right kind of slushie for your partner is inconvenient.

But the inconvenience... it doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it, in the end.

You do a lot for the ones you want to keep around. That’s all you’re saying. And... you hope, one day, Aaron Hotchner gets that. 

-

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