#i was really expecting some kind of riddle game. i know it's already part of the story，but

[nawoken]

Okay, let's write something really really small today (-.-). I have an exam in a day but I'm still here without a word inside my brain. :')

Soooo, today, what will we have for late-night snacks. Something small, and easy to consume.

Let's do "Rating NRC boys' boyfriend material"? I used to do this before (inside my head), let's see if I remember it. This is only my personal feeling so please don't see this seriously.

Part 2: Here

I will use "tier list" thingy to rate them (S, A, B,..)

Heartslabyul:

Riddle: A

He is a tough case, sweet but also super strict. If you date him, you must also follow some "few" rules he sets out, not my thing though. Easily embarrassed due to not being used to receiving affection, he was not sure what to do in those moments. Probably clingy without even knowing.

Adorable for sure, have high expectations for you, and treat you right. If you struggle with studying, he will build a study plan and tutor you himself. Have high self-awareness and responsibility, he is a trustworthy boyfriend.

But when you date him, be prepared to have a long fight with his mother. He will try to not let it happen, but he is torn apart. Should ask Trey for help.

Trey: S+

He is calm, he can be relied on, he is mature, and he knows how to cook?! He is husband material, not boyfriend material anymore. He is a fox type, mischievous, and can be manipulated, but subtle and he won't do that to you.

He is calm and kind, yes. But also secretly scary, you know? He has this dark aura when something not to his liking happens, like when Deuce Stum destroys Heartslabyul's kitchen. So if you prank him a little bit too far... good luck, ehe. ;3

Cater: A+

I don't have much to say about him. He acts as a carefree and joyful person but is actually an alert and decisive person. He is also reliable when there is a dangerous situation happens. It feels like he is the type who will always care about your feelings, maybe even more than himself.

So, if you also do that to him, care about his needs, respect, and support his decision then he can be super emotional.

But I think he should talk more, the habit of keeping things to himself is not a good thing to do. Like, if he doesn't like sweets, please tell, don't try to eat what you hate.

Ace: B

I have this problem with favoritism, it's something with Heartslabyul is the first dorm we interact in the game, and Ace is also one of our first friends at school so I like him quite a lot. But well, after thinking about this for quite a while, I can only rate him as "B". He is definitely "S++" for a good friend but about dating? He is not mature enough, used to ghost his girlfriend in middle school because he think she is boring?! Then even had the nerve to say dating was a pain?!

So, unless he is helplessly in love with you, if not?... Dumb him before he can dumb you, two can play this game. Should be "D" but well, "B" for favoritism.

Deuce: S-

As a glutton, he can cook? He is highly rated already, surely it's not because of favoritism. He is not mature enough for my liking but puppy type makes me want to pamper him. Surprisingly naive, I have a feeling he's the type who still believes that "the baby was brought to parents by storks" and you can't make me think otherwise.

Easily embarrassed and overwhelmed by actions that show affection toward him, but also extremely serious about the relationship. Will do everything you said and try his best to fulfill your wish.

Savanaclaw:

Leona: A

He is lazy, but he is rich. He won't do things as you said... easily. What do you mean by he should clean his room? Let Ruggie do it, he pays him for this. Complaining and mocking a lot, but if you look at him with a serious face, he will sigh and then work on your words while complaining of course, what do you think. But, there's this calm moment when you guys cuddle and sleep until you are late for class.

He might tease you pretty much but when you have a bad day, he will be super soft and warm toward you. Won't let bad things happen to you. You are his, only him can cause you trouble. (Punch him!)

Ruggie: A+

He can clean, cook, and knows how to earn and save money. But he doesn't have much time for you, please understand. But he will treasure your times with each other, with cuddles. He is not rich, he can't give you a ton of gifts, or take you out for dinner. You guys might spend dating time in the laundry room.

But, that's okay, he is sweet and caring. Do you see how he tries his best all of the time? It's for his family and also for the children in his neighborhood. If you are just anyone, he can and will use you, but you're his significant other, he will treat you with the utmost care, and always do his best for ya.

Jack: S+

Oh, what do we have here? A tsundere :))

But he is not the aggressive type of tsun, a cute and soft one actually, a bit shy but looking at his wagging tail is really entertaining. Dating him is like living in a cotton candy world, he is super caring, and gentle. A true gentleman! He will open a water bottle and carry your bag for you before you even need to ask.

He is a wolf hybrid after all, he has to protect his pack, and dating him means you're also part of his pack. Basically, he will be protective of you. Isn't it touchy?

Octavinelle:

Azul: S

Dude is cold and decisive in business but in love life?... haha. Unless the relationship is forming due to a deal, if he is down bad for you then... Tease him, and he will become a stuttering mess, kiss him and he will faint from overheating. Suffering from happiness I guess?

If you don't know about his past, he might act tough and collected but if you do know, then this guy is one of the insecure group members (I wonder who is the other member). A gentleman, a little bit awkward but he is too cute to complain. Cup his face in your hands and compliment him with your softest voice, please. He might cry if you do it. (Ơ v Ơ)

Jade: ...D no, kidding M for Manipulate

Also a fox type, but he is much more dangerous than Trey. He is manipulated for sure and you don't even realize it. Have a feeling that he can make you think that everything is your idea but it's actually his.

He wants to go to this place for vacation with you? Information, advertisements, and discounts for couples about that place started to appear around you and suddenly you want to spend your next day off with him there. Of course, your wish is his command (^v^).

But well, other than that, he's quite chill and collected. He can cook but can't keep his hand to himself, I hope you like mushrooms.

Floyd: U for Unpredictable

Urgh, these twins, why are they so hard to rate? Floyd is unpredictable for me. I don't know how should I rate him at this point. His mood is swinging worse than the weather. He can be a good boyfriend, a bit clingy and childish at some point. Also protective and cool the other time.

But I have the feeling, that if he feels this relationship is boring, he can be worse than Ace. He doesn't know what a love relationship is like, he just knows he thinks you are cute and interesting, then, you're his property. Can be good, can be bad but, I like to think, that if he is head over heel for you, then you will have the cutest eel as your lover.

He's not in a good mood? You will have the scene where you pamper him in your embrace while he blushes a bit, but is super calm, hiding his face in your hands. Quiet and warm moment right there.

Scarabia:

Kalim: A-

I love Kalim, but he can be a little bit too much. But, he is willing to learn! Might forget right after due to excitement though. A sweet boy with full of love and energy, a true extrovert! A nightmare for introverts, but I'm an ambivert so... no. The type to pull you to the middle of the dance floor. Can be a scary experience for social anxiety people.

Gave you a bunch of gifts, this is one of his love languages. But, it can be too much for you, the feeling of you can't give him anything good but he kept pouring things on you.

But he respects you, so you should talk to him about it with your most serious tone or he might treat it like Jamil's case. Don't act too aggressively, just stay calm.

Jamil: S

Again, I'm a glutton, he can cook? He's husband material. Not to mention, he can clean, he can dance, he is mature and reliable. He can seem a bit cold but I think he will treat his lover with utmost care. He will show it through action, not words though, bro is a bit shy with it.

He said he likes to make everyone do as he said, but I don't really have the feeling that he will do that to his love, not that intense. He likes it when you listen to him, but won't force you if you don't want to.

The only reason he is not "S+" tier for me is he is afraid of bugs and I am too. If there is a bug appeared, and there are only me and him at that place. The next moment, you guys will see us standing outside with a burning house behind us.

Pomefiore:

Vil: B

I really like him tbh. Might be my favorite character. But, sorry Vil, for me, he is not suitable as a lover.

He is super strict about your diet, your fashion, and your behavior, if you also care about those things then he is your dream man. It's just not my thing. But he is caring and knows how to treat you right for sure. Will shopping with you, take you to a fancy restaurant for a date night.

All of those things, he is supposed to be a top-tier lover. But well, are you ready to face his fans? He is famous with lots of fans, and you know, they may take extreme actions in the name of love. If you guys public, they will judge you on how you look, are you worthy of him? Some will chase you down with horrible action.

Of course, Vil will protect you, but well, I am just terrified of those kinds of stuff. Should be "S" tier but... "B"

Rook: A+

Even when he is a stalker and a bit of drama. But... he is a good boyfriend for sure. Strong, mature, calm, and can be counted on. You got a trouble? You don't even need to tell him, he already knows. Words are how he shows you his love, but it's extremely embarrassing, hope your skin is thick enough, or else you might burning.

Other than that, hope you are also a Neige fan. Seeing his room in his dream, you might have to hear him talk about Neige a lot. Respect you if you don't want to hear it though.

His only downside is he is a lil bit creepy but other than that, he is a cool lover to have.

Epel: A

He is a bundle of energy, not a sunshine one though, a destructive one. He is quite competitive and mischievous. He can punch, he can kick, and he can fight, please see him seriously, he is a strong man. Do anything to prove it, even when you insist that you're okay with carrying your own bag. And that's really sweet of him.

Gifts you a lot of his hometown specialties, and takes you there on vacation also. He is proud of his hometown after all, and he wants you to love it as much as him.

Sometimes his competitiveness gets the better of him, so he might get into quite a lot of trouble. But, luckily Vil already handle that. Until the "Fairest one of all" looked at you with piercing eyes for not controlling your boyfriend's actions. And you may or may not have to join Epel training so you guys can become a good match

~~~~~~

Yes, want to do something small or fun or both, I want to finish everything in only one post. But now I know, 22 it's not something I can finish in a day :'))))

I won't post anything tomorrow since I have an exam, then I will rest a bit. Part 2 should be faster since I only have Ingihyde and Diasomnia left.

Can't really rate anyone to low though, I like them :') (sorry Vil)

Again, I only do this for fun and content so don't take it too seriously. Thank you~

The next part for "TWST and Gravity Falls" will come later since I still need more ideas for it, I already have something written down. But actually, it was part of the previous, I cut it out due to the last part being too long and I don't have enough energy to continue.

Love you guys, see ya.

[screemnch]

The Pathologic Russian and English analysis: Bachelor Daniil Dankovsky Part 2.

I've decided that whenever I go to have my psychiatric evaluation, I'm gonna show them these series of mini-essays. The things we do... Anyway, here's the second half of my prickly prick analysis, this time from our precious miracle worker!

As the Changeling: the Bachelor in this campaign is actually a lot more consistent in between the English and Russian versions - he’s a lot meaner, condescending and all we know and love him for, so to speak. In terms of formality, he almost always refers to Clara using the informal “you,” which is understandable - she is a child, and someone who he doesn’t hold in high regard. His mannerisms, unlike in the Haruspex run, don’t change halfway through the narrative, which can be attributed to many different things - the fact that in the Haruspex run Eva survives and so Dankovsky never has to deal with the guilt of her death, for example. Or maybe the idea that he constantly treats Clara’s abilities with scepticism and doesn’t see her as crucial to the fulfilment of his plans, almost viewing her as disposable. Whatever it is, the manner of speech is very similar to how it is in the first half of the Haruspex run - you’ve got your little filler words, diminutives, rough words and an informal but deliberate sentence structure. There is a lot more frustration in his dialogues with Clara, which can be explained by the idea that he is literally out for blood for half of the game.

Overall, I was a little sad to see how many dialogue options just lead to the exact same thing via different routes, so there won’t be as many notes here as I’d like there to be. That being said, I’ve already started gathering material for the Changeling section of the analysis. Additionally, with the repetitive nature of Clara’s campaign, I’d like to preemptively say that I’ve done my best to put these in chronological order, but I make no promises on accuracy. That being said - here are some things that I wanted to specifically point out.

This line is just… Riddled with curious differences. For one, instead of psychics, Dankovsky says that it’s bad enough that half the town is, specifically, “telepaths” which is… Interesting. And incorrect, which is probably why they changed it when translating. He then goes on to say “And those that aren’t, are extrasensory!” which is much closer to “psychic” than “faith healers.” In Russia, the term “экстрасенс” (read quite literally as “extra-sense”) refers to a person with any kind of psychic ability. Though you’ll mostly find it on shitty TV shows nowadays, and it feels a bit anachronistic to use it here, the term was first used in 1979, so hey, it could potentially make sense? Finally, the line itself is riddled with exasperated little words, which makes me really happy that I pointed it out when looking through the Haruspex dialogues. The last sentence especially conveys a certain urgency that kinda seems gone in the English version. There’s no presumption. Adding the whole “I presume” was probably a way to try and emulate this urgency in English, but it ended up being more of a “wow, the Bachelor is expecting people to do as he says” which is true, but the focus of the sentence is on the “can.” Something more like “Does that mean you can do this?” And also they cut out the exclamation mark in the first sentence, which I guess just doesn’t work in English orthography.

I… Don’t know what to think of this translation. Let’s be transparent here - the closest way to properly translate the last sentence in this line is to face the facts that Dankovsky would sound like the crazy beggar woman from Sweeney Todd - “Diabolic, diabolic…” he says. And while imps and devils can very well be used as curse words in Russian, this, surprisingly, is not one of those instances. In this case, I imagine the translators chose to go for the most straightforward translation. Like having someone say “Damn…” and the translation being “This displeases me greatly!” Which I think is hilarious, but also hopefully helps bridge the gap between the two versions.

Ok. What the fuck. This is the line in the Changeling route where Clara has to stay overnight at the Stillwater and the Bachelor is all like “Eva’s probably going to hand herself in to the inquisitor and we’re gonna go and save her tomorrow” except take a look at the Russian version. See anything different? See the exclamation marks? I feel like the translation team was so hellbent on making Dankovsky the prickliest prick on the block, that they forgot that he actually gives a damn about Eva. Like, there’s an urgent tone, and air of accusation in the way these sentences are formulated to portray someone who actually cares about the fate of the person he’s been living with for the past week. The Bachelor in Russian isn’t taking no for an answer in this case, because he actually cares. English Bachelor? Honestly, sounds like he’s pissed at Eva for trying to help him. Do not appreciate.

I feel it’s important to emphasise the difference in sentiment here. The way this line is said in English sounds very distant, indignant. It’s something I’ve found with a lot of Bachelor’s lines and I’m beginning to suspect that it may just be because Russian is my native language, so I just see it as more personal, but idk. In the English version it feels like the Bachelor is just considering the possibility of saving a person (which, by the way, with how much of an ass Daniil has been to Clara is a very interesting 180) but in Russian he sounds a lot more determined, a lot more focused on the “saving” part. In a clunkier, but more literal translation, the line would be “If not Simon, then I’ll take at least you away from this miracle-rich hole.” He’s still caught up in Simon’s death, and he feels like it's his duty to help at least someone out of the place that has done nothing but get in his way (when he arrived here expecting it to help him) so uh… Once again coming for the head of whoever said Dankovsky has no heart.

So uh… See, it’s funny because… Well, in English this string of dialogue doesn’t exactly make sense to me. What’s not to get, Clara? The Haruspex has a bone to pick with the butchers, which might interfere with the Bachelor’s plans. The wording is pretty clear too, so where does the confusion come from? At this point Clara has most certainly seen a butcher, she knows what he’s talking about. But then if you think about it, the Russian phrasing of that last sentence is wildly different. See, the original phrase is “He’s not impartial to butchers too,” and let me tell you something fun about that choice of words. See, while being “not impartial” to someone may mean that you have your own agenda you’re trying to push, it does not imply having any sort of issues with the person. In fact, most Russians would use the words “not impartial” when talking about a romantic inclination. And while I’m not saying it’s the intention of the writers, by any means, but uh… When interpreting this interaction as Dankovsky saying something easily misinterpretable out of pocket and Clara just raising her hands and saying “I refuse to comprehend whatever you’ve just told me,” it makes a bit more sense to me personally, than Clara simply not being able to follow along.

In terms of being “as close to the original as possible” this line is probably one of the most far out lines. There are some lines that are translated word for word, and then there’s… This. Don’t get me wrong - that doesn’t mean it’s bad. I can actually understand exactly why these changes were made - it’s so that I would get to talk about them! The biggest difference would be in the way the Bachelor refers to Burakh in this line. In the Russian version he uses the word “леший” (Leshy) which is a word some of y’all may know from games like Inscryption and Cult of the Lamb. Leshy (quite literally means “of the woods”) is a mythical creature in Slavic folklore - an entity of the woods, the master of the forest, an overall neutrally aligned one. In some stories he confuses travellers and leads them in circles or abducts children, while in others he is a benevolent but protective figure that will help those who treat him with respect. I won’t go into too much detail, because this is Pathologic, not mythology hour, but I still think it’s a fun little tidbit of knowledge, considering who the Bachelor is talking about. That being said, in the English version he calls him a “sod” which is at least tangentially related to greenery and the like, which I think is funny. The other differences in this line are mostly in regards to sentence structure and don’t change the meaning much, so I won’t wax poetic about them.

I’m having a goddamn aneurysm. I’m shaking, crying, losing my mind. Why did this have to be translated like this? It’s just literally “My god!” in Russian. You can say that in English. You’re allowed. Or maybe like “Dear god!” If you wanna keep the faux shock element of the word. Why blimey? Why? I don’t get it. Someone please explain. Additionally, the whole “look who’s here” has a more condescending vibe of “Look who’s  decided to grace us with her presence.” So yeah. The prickly prick factor is back, babey.

The Bachelor is a lot sassier in this route. I didn’t see it as potently in the English version, I guess, because in Russian the overall vibe of this line is “A little bit… After all, you’re the only sinless person we’ve got.” Which I feel communicates both the jab, the Bachelor’s resentment towards Clara and how fed up he is with her literal “Holier than thou” rhetoric.

The Bachelor rejects the notion of love winning if the polyhedron is preserved. However, in the Russian version there is no “you lose” in this line, which I feel gives a different vibe to the interaction. In the English version it feels a little weird - why is the Bachelor trying to convince Clara to go with his plan by telling her that she loses? Is that meant to be effective? Who knows, but in the Russian version the actual phrasing is closer to “we win from you” which can mean two things: the first one being the whole “we win and you lose” interpretation. The other is - we win at your discretion. We win in your game. And I don’t know, I’m writing this at 2 am, but I feel like the other interpretation makes more sense for someone trying to be convincing.

I don’t understand why this was translated the way it is. I also have no recollection of when in the game this takes place and the dialogue itself offers very little context. The line itself however is… I don’t get it. I’ve always seen the word “darling” as a term used to either someone very close to you, or in an ironic sense. The term Dankovsky uses here, however is “cute creature” (cute being the literal meaning of the word, but in combination with the “creature” thing, it’s more akin to “dear” or “sweet”) which is a term of endearment used, at least from what I understand in literature, in reference to an innocent, gentle, feminine person. Some writers use that epithet to refer to their muse. It does not have the same vibe as “darling”; it's a lot more delicate, as if you were referring to a flower. And I don’t see where they got “darling” from that. Additionally, this is the only instance in which the Bachelor refers to Clara using a formal version of “you.”

And that’s about it for the Bachelor in the Changeling route. The main differences between this and the English version come from two factors: the specific words used, and the lack of exclamation marks. No kidding. The way Dankovsky refers to some things was just translated in a way where it conveys the purpose of what he’s trying to say, but the vibe becomes completely lost. It was interesting to see just how superstitious Daniil’s manner of speaking gets when he’s talking to Clara, given his scepticism - he refers to mythical creatures, silver bullets, and even his defence of the Polyhedron is a very… Spirited one. In other instances, the difference in terminology lessens whatever emotion the line is trying to convey. That, and the overall “tamer” use of exclamation marks removes a little bit of character from the Bachelor. He comes off as a lot more composed in English, with occasional outbursts of frustration. Just like in the first half of the Haruspex campaign, the Bachelor in the original version is a lot more impassioned, whether the emotions he is communicating are disgust or sympathy, conceit or regret. I mentioned it earlier, but it does really feel like in trying to make Dankovsky seem like a cold, pragmatic asshole, the translators accidentally took the bite out of a lot of his lines.

That being said, I want to make it clear that I’m not bashing the translation in any way. Most of these differences come from heavily made decisions, opting for either translating things literally, or trying to convey the essence but losing a few things on the way. Translators always have to deal with that choice. Even with the little experience I have with translating myself, I can understand that a lot of these things potentially could not have been translated any other way. You wouldn’t want to have to play a game where every dialogue option is followed by a footnote explaining what this specific choice of words means, and how to properly interpret them - the player’s experience is a part of the game’s design. How you understand the dialogue is also a part of the narrative, especially with how much deception is woven into the story. With all that in mind, I still feel it’s important to eventually illustrate exactly what the differences are, because not only do the way certain phrases are translated shine a new light on the author’s intentions, but additionally - some people might never find out otherwise. So uh… Yeah. Coming up in maybe yet another month, if not more - The Haruspex as seen by the other two Healers.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

We’re taking a short break with replies, but we’ll be back next week!

Anonymous asked:

Wow, Falin. So you now drew Dungeon Meshi. This looks beautiful.

Thank you so much <3 Dungeon Meshi character design is very nice, I’m glad I had an opportunity to draw Falin.

Anonymous asked:

any thoughts on the manga adaptation yuu’s? Yuuken, Yuuka and Yuuta.

i personally need a foursome with them.

I- I didn’t expect the second part of this ask! Good for you, Anon 😔👍 Aim high.

We don’t really care about Yuu either way (since we don’t read the manga), but I do like the designs for all of them and how different they are. We also posted a sketch of Yuuta at some point! We like him the most.

Anonymous asked:

On the Cater thing, logically, I know the brother comment was to appease the sudden censorship that appeared after the EN release (there's so much of it, just compare voice lines for first and second Halloween events) but that makes me sad so I choose to believe in canon brocon Cater instead.

Oh, so you mean the JP game is somewhat influenced by the EN censorship too? That would be a bummer, but also kind of funny because it was the second Halloween event where we got that suspicious line of Rook telling us how he woke up in the middle of the night and saw that Vil wasn’t there. I guess it wasn’t a voice line, so….

And yes absolutely, Cater canon brocon! Imagine being so tired of having sisters that your brain just says “if I had a brother I would be very into him, especially if it’s Vil” lol

Anonymous asked:

So I know you have your top/bottom rule but I was wondering who you would feel about two bottoms sharing a top or two tops sharing a bottom? I know you already have the tweels basically do this with Idia already but any thoughts on who else might be willing to share? I can picture Lilia being ok with Idia and Silver dating cause how convenient to have two of his favorite boys together! I've also seen you mention Rook and Ortho basically teaming up to stalk Vil. Just an interesting idea I thought you'd enjoy thinking about.

Ohh that’s a fun question, Anon!

Yeah, like you’ve noticed already, we don’t mind tops and bottoms sharing in a 3+ people scenario. Although when it comes to spicy scenes specifically, we tend to prefer “multiple tops, one bottom” route and not the “multiple bottoms, one top” route. But if we’re talking about it in general, I think this is pretty much our default state for a lot of characters? Their relationship status is very fluid…

Lilia could easily date both Silver and Idia, to be honest, I think Lilia doesn’t even necessarily consider it “dating”, he just has multiple partners and enjoys his life lol And Malleus would be on Lilia’s “list” too!

Rook and Ortho could find a good balance and date Vil together too! Rook could also date both Vil and Epel, although with Rook it’s tricky because he’s just going around enjoying life… just like Lilia…

Another trio that we’ve talked about recently is Trey+Riddle+Che’nya, they also work nicely as a throuple.

The first years have a lot of things to sort out between themselves, but theoretically? Maybe Deuce could end up with two boyfriends (Jack and Ace). But it absolutely won’t happen soon, they aren’t mature enough for this yet lol

Anonymous asked:

I don't remember if you've already talked about it, but do you think Idia has ever pretended to be a girl online to troll someone who annoyed him? After having some fun pretending to flirt it would probably backfire, with Idia getting weirded out when the other person starts talking about all the filthy things they would like to do to him. At the same time though, he doesn't really want to stop for some reason...

Anon, this is a scenario that I would absolutely love to witness, but unfortunately, I don’t think Idia would do that. Although he is such a troll sometimes, and he is super unlucky (lucky?) when it comes to how his social interactions spiral out of his control, that he might find himself in a similar situation… It’s the butterfly effect – one little joke from Idia, and suddenly a couple of hours later he’s talking to a guy who is in love with him and doesn’t listen to him trying to explain that he isn’t in fact a cute nerdy gal?? And then suddenly the other person STARTS TALKING ABOUT ALL THE FILTHY THINGS THEY WOULD LIKE TO DO TO HIM—Idia had no idea being an accidental e-girl would be so stressful lol

Let’s hope he realises how weirdly arousing it was to read all this gross horny stuff about himself  before he blocks the guy… He’ll probably send him a bouquet of computer viruses while still fuming and feeling the tingles uvu what a good girl.

[hanafubukki]

Well, you said you would love to answer some questions, so here are a few!

🌈,🍭,🕯

I'm curious 👀

[from this ask game]

Hello Amy🌺💕🌸, thank you for sending this in 💞💞

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

I’m assuming this means a fic that’s already published? Easily, it would be Just a Human because there was a clear image in my mind that I wanted with that fic and I kept writing certain parts over and over just to fit that image. The scene that I wanted to convey was the flashes of magenta within the crimson in Lilia’s eyes to show that the Lilia we know is there and slowly but surely reappearing.

If we are talking about unpublished works, I currently have 13 drafts that I haven’t published. 2 of which are completed but needs to be edited and I keep forgetting to publish them?? Lolol and the other 11 are wips (mix of theories, memes, fanfics, and other stuff), some are halfway done and others are close to done. About 4 of those are Lilia fics and 2 of them are Malleus fics 😂

🍭why did you start writing?

I honestly started writing because I was stressed with school, family, and work. I was really burned out (and still am kind of) and nothing was helping me relax. The usual fanfic reading or games wouldn’t work. I couldn’t touch books because school had me clawing my eyes out. But what I did have was Simping and brainrots power, and I just opened up my word doc one day and just wrote the idea that was plaguing my head throughout the night which was the All in Time series which had such a warm welcoming that the rest was history and I kept writing since then. I actually met many precious friends through writing that fic, so it has a soft place in my heart.

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

There are three fics that took me to places that I didn’t expect and practically ideas flowed itself and I was nothing but the writing vessel.

Time and Time Again, literally just came about because of something a friend said and the whole idea was triggered and next thing I know I have three parts written with a fourth planned (whenever that is because I have notes but brain just won’t write it so waiting to see if book 7 jumps starts it lol)

I Suddenly Became the Mother of the Red-Rose Tyrant?!, this fic literally came to be because I saw this fanart of Riddle’s mom hugging baby Riddle and because I was reading too many Manhwas at the time. I also got to thinking about why Riddles mom would do what she did and how I wanted Riddle to have a happy childhood and next thing you know this was written. There are ideas for a part two that I have notes on too and certain scenes written already.

The Love of a Family , was inspired by Lian’s artwork and me being in a diasomnia feels mood. I literally looked at the artwork and I really just wanted a happy ending to it. I wanted all parties involved to be happy and something about Big Brother Silver with little Malleus just had me writing as fast as I could. When I was editing it, I kept adding scenes and switching things around until I was satisfied. I still have some ideas for this AU in my head that I have notes on too.

This was fun to talk about. 🙌🙌

[kindaconfusingme]

Since it's the end of november, I thought I'd give an update on my reading for the Autumn Reading Challenge 2.0 :)

I am working on a few other prompts atm so I think I will be through kind of soon. I have decided to pick books I already own for all of these so I can use this challenge as motivation to reduce my tbr. I fear this post will be kind of long so be prepared :D

Number in the title: Million Girl Vol.1-3 by Kotori Momoyuki

I read the 1rst and 2nd volume of this years ago when I was a teenager and bought vol 3 secondhand for this challenge bc I always wanted to finish it. It’s about a girl at a very elite high school who finds out that her family owes a lot of money to the yakuza. To repay them, she enters the Money Game that is established at her school, which consists of multiple rounds of competing against different opponents in different challenges, cheating is allowed. While I enjoyed the atmosphere and the reading experience, I’m not the biggest fan of anything beyond the first volume. It gets a little absurd and one does not get the chance to solve the mysteries of the rounds alongside the protagonist, which I would’ve liked to try.

Book with riddles: Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

I love the movie, so I hoped to like the book as well. Sadly, I was disappointed :(

I think one of the problems with it was the pacing, because a lot of the moments that are essential for the plot and should be interesting to read are just really hard to transfer to written text (while looking cool on screen). It’s not that interesting to hear Wade talk about how he has to beat a Pacman-high score. Moments like these were either boring to listen to (audiobook) or skipped over by the author, the latter option being weird as well because some of these moments were quite important. I also found Wade to be pretty annoying and full of himself. I think he compensated a lot of his low self esteem by feeling like the absolute best at knowing niche pop culture details. I kind of relate to that bc my self-esteem is held up by similar things, but I would like to think that I am not as insufferable. Or maybe I am but nobody notices bc nobody can read my thoughts. And I had to listen to Wade’s through the whole book, which made me want to scream sometimes. Artemis was pretty cool, but I felt like a lot of her character was the way it was to make sure she’s the ideal girl that lonely gamer guys wish to meet somewhen (spoken in cliches, I don’t want to shame lonely gamer guys in general here). I guess you can read this book either as a homage to 80s pop culture and be happy about a virtual reality adventure or it reads as a slightly problematic self-insert. … Idk, the book had its moments but ultimately it was a bit of a letdown. I will stick to the movie. And I still love the premise of this story a lot.

Nostalgic read: Sieben Pfoten für Penny – Freiheit für einen Delfin by Thomas Brezina

This book is part of a large series of books about a teenage girl named Penny who gets involved in different stories with animals that usually need saving. Like Flipper 2, the dolphin this book is about – or rather: Should be about. The story of saving this dolphin would be enough to tell a compelling story, if it was detailed enough. Instead, a lot of different side plots get introduced and solved within a few scenes and everything just felt rushed, mismatched and weird. I wondered whether that was because I am reading this as an adult now or if it was because of the way it was written and I landed on the latter since I read plenty of children’s books as an adult that I enjoyed a lot.

Nonfiction: Interest and Investment in fictional Romances (van Monsjou & Mar, 2019)

I stumbled upon this study while researching for my thesis and downloaded it bc boy oh boy am I myself invested in fictional romances – so why not find out what science says about it. I will not go into detail here bc there are too many tiny findings for that, but I was expecting what the authors were expecting as well: That high involvement in fictional romances compensates one’s one loneliness/dissatisfaction with love life and correlates with attachment anxiety. Interestingly enough, the attachment anxiety part was more or less there (they listed some statistically insignificant findings as well though and I don’t remember whether this was one of them and I also don’t remember whether it was found in all studies that included the attachment anxiety measurement). The loneliness/dissatisfaction thing was not found, instead people who were more interested in fictional romances seemed to use those as an exploration for their own romantic wishes – which makes sense, I guess. It is to be said though that the sample was taken from people who were not very involved in fandom over all, only a slight number of participants read or wrote fanfiction for example. As well as the authors, I do think that in a sample that consists of people who are actually involved in shipping and stuff, the results could be more consistent with the expectations, because I do think there is a big difference in the reasons for enjoying the chemistry of a fictional couple casually and being extremely invested in a fictional couple to the point of obsession. Therefore, I’d like to read follow-up studies that have these samples; so far, I have not seen these anywhere.

[dailybayonetta]

Why do people even say that Bayonetta 3 story sucked? Didn't like story was always bad in these games?

Okay, so here's one important thing I've already said before: Bayonetta 3 story is SO bad that people who didn't even cared in the slightest about Bayos story or thought it was bad before said / say THIS ONE was really bad.

And here's the thing - it's actual truth. Like sure, we can pretend that Bayos story was masterpiece here and it never done anything wrong but that's just a lie. By videogame standarts the story is bad, especially in recent years when storytelling has evolved. By media story standarts and is general it's even worse and even more rough. But thing is Bayos doesn't have to be more than just character AND fun. Because gameplay is what people are after (the general audience) and it's always been like that. Noone was expecting some God of War level narrative or even Nier that is riddled with good stuff. (you know, as more action game as an example) Like look at Metal gear rising in retrospect and how it's wacky story got more love over the years, despite being hated at start. BECAUSE IT'S FUN. AND BOTH BAYOS, with it's flaws but still, WERE FUN AND HAD CHARACTERS. AN HAD CHARACTER. Like the stories are a mess, but regardless of that, the characters were fun and therefore you as a viwer had fun. It had action pieces, there was drama (i'd say to some degree it's genuine), there was humor. And again I think one of parts that played into it - Bayonetta was a character I haven't seen in games before like that. Like her figurine and style was a priority, but she still SHOWN to have emotions - she cared for Cereza, she cared for Jeanne, she cared for Luka, she cared for Loki, she cared for Balder despite knowing his fate, same goes for Rosa, even if it was for a brief moment. Ahd these moments are memorable, some of the favorite parts for many people. And Bayo3 just doesn't have that. Bayo in Bayo3 is so stiff - no care for other versions not really (on the surface levels at best), her relationship with Viola is kind of cranky too like she cares but it's alright like it's probably the strongest one (ugh), no care for Jeanne (except some hesitation with Egyptian one I guess) REMEMBER HOW WORRIED SHE WAS ABOUT HER IN BAYO2???? SURE MISS THAT ONE. Sure love how she shoot her mother and barely shows emotion, SURE THAT IS FUN WHEN CHARACTERS DON'T GIVE A FUCK, RIGHT? OH THAT IS BADASS AHA. Even with Luka, it's like whatever, so supposedly the most important component of the story isn't there either. Like it was basic and not engaging in any moment. Like, it's just a simple formula imo: Baoy3 story is weak, because Bayonettas characterisation in Bayo3 is weak. I think the whole excuse of "well, that's Cereza not Bayo" is SOOOO lame. Like, she was a child, we've seen her as a child. IF ANYTHING, she would be MORE fun and MORE charasmatic and MORE joyful.

And, like, not a lot of action-slasher protagonist get development. Like, look at Dante - for his five games he's different in almost all of them and yet he saves the characteristics he has. Even if different people were writing him, they at least tried to be consistent and one important thing - even if they introduced Nero "to pass a torch" they didn't somehow a) killed Dante b) didn't killed his character, what he is and I think that just felt so refreshing when new character-kid gets introduced c) he still remained the most fun of the cast, because didn't took so seriously. and i hate when people compare them, but it's the best example of things done with action franchise rightfuly But Bayo3 is just tries soooooooo hard to be this serious narrative which it never should been in the first place. Like what could be fun than meeting four (plus two at end) different Bayos??? AND THEY FUCKED IT UP BY TREATING THIS CONFLICT SO SERIOUSLY, YOU DON'T EVEN GET TO KNOW THEM AND THEY JUST WASTED FOR NO REASON. Like at this point just make a fun ride. Instead cutscenes drag longer than they should, they are not as entertaining as they should, support cast gets aside but this Bayonetta can't carry this solo, Viola isn't there for long either so it doesn't commit to that part either. THIS GAME HAS A PLOT TWIST VILLIAN??????? LMAO BITCH??????? AND HIS MOTIVATIONS ARE CLEAR ONLY IN CODEX???????????? NEVER DO THAT?? (THAT'S REALLY BAD STORYTELLING) IN FACT A LOT STUFF IS IN THE CODEX????? LIKE U ARE NOT DARK SOULS, THAT'S NOT HOW LORE WORKS. Not to mention, I think this time the ending is the worst one out of all. Last bosses suck (they do in prevous too, but at least they are grand and epic or something), but you also have to sit through TWO endings and you get lame ass dance sequences at the end (the credits one is sooo much better). And it's just drags and drags, like it's not only shitty but story standarts, it's just shitty in a way it conveys things. I would say to some degree it's even worse. Like bad thing is already bad, but then it lasts longer - OOF.

[whumpzone]

Linden & Colton - 18

(masterpost)

and so the slow process begins

CW: pet whump, dehumanisation, discussions of intelligence

-

Pet- Colton, Colton didn’t realise he’d been asleep until he woke up. He had dreamt of nothing. How he had slept after the stress of yesterday was beyond him.

He suddenly saw Master in his room, a place he’d never been before, stood in the corner waiting for him to wake up and face his punishment. He cried out, pulling himself up and raising his hands protectively.

But-

He blinked. It was a shadow. The gap between the old wardrobe and the wall. Tall, thin, quiet. Just like Master. But Col was alone and he let out a long breath.

Master had probably heard him yell, though. He’d be here soon. So Col wasted no time and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He turned back to tuck his little teddy bear Chu under the covers, where Colton felt it was safe, and headed out into the corridor. Here, he was fair game. He didn’t know why Master never entered his room, but he had stuck to it vigilantly so far. It only made Col feel more aware of his own vulnerability as soon as he stepped through the door.

Master was downstairs, doing a puzzle in the local newspaper, and he looked up as Colton approached. His face brightened into a smile, the biggest he’d ever seen. Master never smiled like that. Col had to fight against the urge to freeze or drop to his knees.

“Good morning, Col,” he said, showing all of his teeth.

Oh, god. Master wanted him to reply. He wanted words, now. He finally knew that Col had been hiding them all this time, and he wanted to delve in, find out how he could twist them and use them to stroke his own ego and entrench his slave’s subordination.

Or perhaps he just wanted to hear his Pet wish him a good morning for the first time. Stop fucking overthinking.

“Good morning,” he ducked his head in reverence, “Master.”

“Wow. I still can’t believe you can speak. I’m so- I’m so proud of you, Col.”

What? Why? “…Please forgive me for not speaking sooner.”

“It’s my fault,” he sighed, which made Col tense up even more. “I just- wow. Where to start? Well, come, sit, have breakfast with me. Cereal?”

He gestured at the box already on the table. Colton obediently sat and took it in his hand with almost no trouble. Master noticed, and nodded happily. He was certainly pleased. It still made Col very uneasy, but he did seem to be doing something right.

He had never heard Master speak in such an excited tone, before. But he was silent while Pet- Col- ugh- made himself his breakfast. He could feel Master’s eyes on him. He was allowed to take the first bite, and then the interrogation began. It was obvious Master had a lot of questions.

“So- okay, first, what made you speak, yesterday? I never asked.”

Colton chewed and swallowed. It helped his throat feel a little smoother, although it was still very rough from disuse. His voice was small and unsure. “You… I saw- I saw Jaffa. At the bottom of the stairs. But I didn’t mean to- I’m n-not accusing you of anything, I know you wouldn’t hurt her I just, I wasn’t sure if you had… seen her, Master.”

He flicked his eyes up to Master, to gage his response. He had just accused Master of being a bad pet owner. Of being neglectful of Jaffa. Master seemed to parse this information, and then smiled.

“She does blend in, doesn’t she? Too bloody well sometimes. I’m so glad you stopped me. And that was so, so kind of you Col. Well done.”

He just nodded, and turned his face away. He supposed…. Master saw it as him looking out for Jaffa, rather than undermining his intelligence. That was a lucky escape for him. He knew that with his old master, any sign of insubordination would have been swiftly beaten out of him.

“Colton,” Col looked up. Master looked scary. Why was he smiling that like? What was he thinking? Col didn’t feel any closer to understanding him. “I know this is new, and I know you’ve not spoken in months. I won’t make you do loads of it, okay? We can take it slowly.”

“Thank you, Master,” he hazarded, although he didn’t see why Master hadn’t just forced him to speak from day one, if he wanted it this badly.

“God, but it makes me realise, I know so little about you. And now- I can ask. And if you want, you can reply. I’m really happy.”

“There’s nothing to know, Master. I’m just a Pet,” he mumbled. The spoon faltered in his hand. Cutlery was still a challenge.

“I know you’ve got a busy brain in there,” Master pointed a slender finger at his slave’s head, to emphasise his point. “I know you’re bursting with thoughts and ideas.”

This made Col look up, properly. An accusation like that came with dire consequences. “No, n-n-no, I’m not, I promise, I exist to serve o-only, I’m just a dumb Pet. Yours to use as you please.” Spoken exactly as his old master had taught him. Well- he would have been belted for stammering. He was out of practice.

Should he kneel? Well, yes, he should, but was it right, when he knew Master liked him on the furniture? But, god, he had to prove his point, he couldn’t let Master think he was starting to rebel, or forget his place.

Bitterly, he thought about how he knew this would happen. This was why Pets didn’t speak.

“Whoa, okay, it’s okay. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just meant- you’re not stupid, are you? I can tell. And that’s a good thing.”

Col just stared at his hands. He wanted to pause time, step out of his body, and float away. Somewhere without any questions, or expectations, or constant riddles. He was stupid. He knew that much.

Master’s voice brought him back to reality. Glancing at him, Col saw his smile had grown even bigger. His skin prickled.

“I think you’re Welsh.”

“M-Master?”

“You definitely are. You’ve got an accent. You’re Welsh, Col. Wow, now I’m kind of sad. Like, how on earth did you end up here?”

What was he implying? “I’ve… always been a Pet,” Col tried, but it was clear he didn’t believe himself, and from the way Master’s eyebrow slowly raised, he didn’t believe him either.

Colton had always been dimly aware that there was an other him, who had taken up the before-time. He was the one whom his old master had had to train so effectively, he was the one who had all the bad thoughts and urges. Col knew he didn’t start as a Pet. Or else his old master wouldn’t have had to torture him like that for so long.

He was a ghost in Colton’s brain, and Col didn’t know if he was locked away or completely dead. Were parts of him still hiding somewhere, curled up in a place that old master couldn’t ever reach? Or had he been completely laid out and hacked to pieces, until only Col remained. Thinking about it made him want to burst into tears. Some nights, when his mind was loosened by sleep, he felt like he missed him so much.

. . .

Linden didn’t push it. He knew most Pets didn’t retain any memories from before their conditioning. He shouldn’t have asked, really. Just… the realisation that Col had a background, he had lived before becoming the trembling man before him, made Linden ache.

He still wanted to curl up whenever he thought about how long he left it before he realised Col could speak. He hadn’t wanted to push him, there were a myriad of ways he could have been made permanently mute, and he had pretty much fallen into a routine at this point. But the knowledge that all this time, Col was patiently waiting for the chance to talk, probably wondering why Linden wouldn’t let him- oh, christ. He was so embarrassed and ashamed.

He suddenly had so many questions all on the tip of his tongue, that he couldn’t think where to start. He also really didn’t want to bombard the poor boy. But still… just a few, surely, wouldn’t hurt?

“So obviously I’ve named you Colton, but, if you actually do have a name, please tell me. We can use that one instead.”

Colton shook his head. “My name before was- was Pet.”

“Pet?”

“Yes, Master. Or bitch, or, um, mutt. Or toy.”

He hid it well, but Linden could see the shame in Col’s face. At least that meant he realised how fucked up it was.

“Those aren’t fu- those aren’t names,” he growled. “That’s just plain cruel. You don’t deserve that. Do you like being Colton? It’s not too late to choose another name for yourself, love.”

Col waited until he had swallowed down another spoonful of cereal before he spoke. That seemed good, to Linden. He didn’t feel pressured to reply immediately.

“Colton is a nice name, Master. It’s not my place to have likes or dislikes but I, uh, I am happy with it.”

Another quick glance at his face. Linden was getting used to them by now. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Jaffa rolling around.

“Likes, dislikes, they’re fine. Don’t worry about that. But if you like the name, then it’s yours until you say otherwise. Oh, and- don’t worry about calling me Master. Honestly.”

Col stopped chewing, his shoulders hunching up suddenly. “I’m sorry, M-, uh, sir, sorry. I didn’t realise I shouldn’t, I’m sorry, I know- know that’s not an excuse. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay,” he soothed. Sir was fine, he decided. From the way Colton had panicked, he didn’t want to push it any further. “You didn’t know.”

“Thank you, I’m- I’m sorry, sir.”

“You’re fine, you’re good. You’re doing great with talking, Col. I’ll put the kettle on.”

He had long learnt to pick his battles. Hearing Colton talk about being a toy to be used made him fucking sick, but he could tell that sentiment was deeply, deeply ingrained. He knew a recital when he heard one. Those weren’t his words. They were a tiny window into whoever had fucked him up like this.

. . .

Master was sir now, when Colton spoke. Col could learn that. But it didn’t change anything, right? Master still wanted him, didn’t he?

-

as usual, the first half of the taglist:

@newbornwhumperfly @whumpadump1939 @firewheeesky @whump-me-all-night-long @captainseconds @grizzlie70 @unicornscotty @lave-whump @princessofonward @cupcakes-and-pain @bumbumbea @whumpfigure @yet-another-heathen @secretwhumplair @whumps-up @as-a-matter-of-whump @getyourwhumphere @itzagoodthing @whumpymirages @soapparentlyilikewhumpnow @zipadeedooda-drabbles @penny-for-your-whump @briars7 @legallylibra @angel-stars @loyds-of-registry @tears-and-lilies @badluck990 @rosesareviolentlyread

@vickytokio @neuro-whump @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @whumpsy-daisies @control-whump @theydy-cringeworthy @starnight-whump @cursedandtired @jo-doe-seeking-inspo @justabitofwhump @glamrockgregory @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @genesissane @justbreakonme @addyez @httyd-chocolate

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Idia Shroud Groom-for-a-Day Personal Story: Part 3

"Allow me to express my deepest gratitude to everyone"

(Part 1) (Part 2) Part 3

[Cafeteria - Wedding Ceremony]

Idia: Finally, those pesky ghosts went away. With this, I’m free!

Ortho: That’s really great, Nii-san!

Ortho: You have to thank Ace Trappola-san and the others who came to save you.

Idia: Sigh, I guess… Although I wouldn’t really have to say anything if they had come to help me sooner.

Ace: HAAH!?

Ortho: Come on, Nii-san! You always just say one thing too far!

Idia: …I’m kidding. Thanks.

Ace: What is with that dark feeling!? That’s not the face of someone who is thankful.

Idia: Eh… Are you saying there’s a certain way you’d like to request me to say “Thanks”?

Idia: “Thank you very much”? Or maybe “Allow me to express my deepest gratitude to everyone”?

Ace: Somehow I don’t get the feeling of gratitude either way…!

Idia: It’s the truth. You who came to save me, you looked cool like a hero from a manga.

Idia: … Completely different from someone like me.

Epel: Idia-san… somehow, you seem depressed?

Idia: Anyway, someone like me can’t be cool and convince others like Ace-shi…

Idia: Unlike all of you, I’m not the kind of person who can move quickly for someone else.

Epel: Eh. Me, I just wanted to show off my good side for Vil-san.

Riddle: Me as well, I came to help for the sake of our classes and the Laws of the Queen of Hearts, not really for Idia-senpai…

Idia: Aa!! I’m like a monster in a tragedy!

Idia: I’m like a secret boss that even though I was living peacefully in a cave, I was chased out of my home, descended onto the village like an unwanted creature, and chased away by the humans….

Idia: I’m really… not geared towards these kinds of positions that attract attention… Haah…

Ace: No way. Idia-senpai, you’re super cool.

Idia: Eh.

Idia: Wh-what did you just say…

Ace: Those clothes really look good on you. Unlike me or Epel, it doesn’t look like the expensive clothes are wearing you.

Ace: You’re taller than Riddle-ryōchō and Rook-senpai, so the long jacket fits you as well.

Ace: I can kinda understand why that bride chose Idia-senpai!

Idia: Wha- wha… wha…. Waitwait! Wh-wh-what’s happening, Ace-shi!

Riddle: …Seriously, what’s going on, Ace. Suddenly praising Idia-senpai so much.

Riddle: What is your goal?

Ace: I’m just speaking the truth. Today’s Idia-senpai, he looks pretty cool.

Riddle: That’s true…

Ace: … Also, I was starting to feel sorry for him, since the whole day culminated in being dumped by the bride.

Riddle: That’s true…!

Riddle: The formal wear suits you well. And when you stand with your back straight, your posture exudes class.

Riddle: To be honest, since the impression is different from usual, I was surprised.

Riddle: To be expected of the Ignihyde Dorm Leader, who follows the diligent spirit of the King of the Underworld.

Rook: I think the usual Idia-kun is also wonderful. You have a lonely beauty, like a fountain with no ripples.

Rook: …However today, in addition to that, you’ve got a gorgeous shine like a jewel!

Rook: To think that you were hiding such beautiful eyes underneath all that firey hair… Aa, how sinful, Idia-kun!

Ace: Yeah, I understand. Idia-senpai unexpectedly has a good face, doesn’t he. It’s so cool and mature, I wish I had that.

Epel: Yeah. I also admire it. Also, your legs are super long and your style is good…

Epel: Today’s Idia-san feels like a dignified and dependable senior!

Idia: Wh-wh-what’s gotten into all of you suddenly… What? What what? Some kind of cataclysmic event?

Ortho: Ehehe. Ehehehehe. Isn’t my brother cool.

Ortho: But you know, he’s not just cool, but he’s got fashion sense too!

Ortho: He’s even famous for his amazing sense even in his online games. Whenever Nii-san comes out with new equipment, his fans will write articles on it.

Ortho: Gloomy Samurai… In other words, many people imitate his fashion because they want to be like Nii-san!

Ace: Wow～～!

Idia: S-stop it already…

Idia: It-it… It’s not really a bit deal…

Riddle: No, be proud of it. For us it took our best efforts to wear these prepared clothes.

Riddle: …Although, we weren’t even able to arrive in these clothes safely.

Riddle: But Idia-senpai, you’re dressed in that difficult styled frock coat and owning it.

Riddle: Meaning that among us, Idia-senpai is the most suitable to be a groom!

Idia: I-s that so…

Ace: Yes!

Idia: …IS THAT SO～～～～!!??

Idia: Nono, I’m not that special to that extent, and it’s just an over-exaggeration to praise me that much.

Idia: Is it? Maybe a little? I might have a something to say about that? I might be better than this group here though?

Ace: !?

Idia: But it’s only by a little! I’m sorry to say it’s not that big of a deal! Kek

Idia: I was often described as a “clever boy” in my childhood, so it’s no wonder at all that I’ve blossomed from there

Idia: Sure, depending on the level of the person, I may look as you say, but if you view at it on a global scale, my rank is low.

Idia: It’s so embarrassing to be praised this much～～～!! Kekek.

Rook, Riddle, Epel: …

Ace: Wow, seriously Idia-senpai is really cool.

Ace: … As long as he stays quiet, that is.

Epel: In between all that quick talking, I get the feeling that he was very rude a bunch of times.

Riddle: I’m noticing that even if self-deprecating things come out of his mouth, his self-esteem in his heart is much higher.

Rook: I was so smitten listening his smooth talking!

Ortho: Nii-san, I know you’re shy and panicking, but after all that you’re still saying one… no, a few things too much.

Idia: Oho, ohohoho. Since an indoor person like me shouldn’t be outdoing the outgoing folk…

Idia: I’ll leave this cheerful place in the hands of you extroverts, and I shall respectfully return to my beloved room～～!!

Ace: Yes. Please do that.

(Part 1) (Part 2) Part 3

[wheelsup]

the taming of the shrew | two

if i be waspish, best beware my sting

after some setbacks, penelope is willing to do anything to get you back on board. but has spencer already ruined things?

A/N: hello! im so sorry that this posting schedule is super inconsistent. the more i thought about this chapter, the less i liked the more technical aspects of it. but! i hope you enjoy to plot aspect of it nonetheless <3 thanks for reading!

category: fluff, slow burn series, spencer reid x fem!reader

wc: 4.4k

<- prev | next ->

Since that phone call with Penelope, she’d been over nearly every night for a week with plates of treats and onslaughts of apologies. Each time she came knocking, you told her there was no amount of persuasion that could change your mind. And yet the following night, she’d be there, a new type of pastry in hand and a new set of reasons why Spencer was worth the trouble.

First, she brought blueberry muffins and reasoned that deep below that prickly exterior, he really was everything she promised –– sweet and caring. But that must be deep, deep down. Like, The Lost City of Atlantis, deep down, because you didn’t expect it to surface any time soon. 

Then, she brought fudge brownies and explained that his behavior wasn’t personal –– he was getting snippy with everyone lately. And while you maintained that anybody would have a hard time getting along with Spencer, you were absolutely positive that it was now impossible for you. 

Quite frankly, it wasn’t just Spencer who was unwilling to play nice. You hated him. More than you’ve ever hated a stranger. 

You wished him a lifetime riddled with minor inconveniences that would drive him to the edge of insanity. You wanted him to miss all his trains by just a quarter of a minute; close enough so that he could see it leave the platform, knowing he almost made it on. You wanted him to constantly feel like he was about to sneeze. You wanted his socks to be perpetually wet, and if he should happen to put on a dry pair? You hoped he stepped in a puddle.

That was all you could think about as you laid out on your couch, munching on one of Penelope’s lemon bars while she paced around your apartment. She kept going on and on advertising Spencer to you. As annoying as it was, she was also saving you a ton on groceries that week. 

For the most part, you filtered her out. Not a single word that came out of her mouth was believable anymore, especially not when she was talking about Spencer. Despite what Penelope thought of him, you saw in him what she refused to accept. 

As her speech came to a close, she looked at you like she expected a response to dignify her prattling. 

“Give it a rest, Penelope. He’s a lost cause,” you laughed dryly. “He doesn’t need –– nor does he want –– anyone in his life.” At the very least, he definitely didn’t want you. 

“Yes, that’s the problem!” If you’d been listening to her, you would’ve heard her saying the same thing. “He doesn’t want to date!” 

Your head just about exploded when she said that. 

There had been countless, fruitless conversations about this, and all along she saw the gaping hole in her supposedly airtight plan?

“If he doesn’t want to DATE, then WHAT was the point of this?!” Your fingers pressed the bridge of your nose; you suddenly felt a headache coming on. Funny how it always happened around the time of day that Penelope came to visit.

Penelope stopped pacing. She stalked over to your couch, picked your legs up by your ankle, and moved them to make space for herself. You begrudgingly sat upright as she took her place beside you. 

“Because he’s not himself anymore. He’s not open like he used to be. Not to the people who care about him the most, and certainly not to the world.”  

Penelope toyed with the hem of her dress, distracting herself from her quivering lip before pressing on, “Spencer Reid has always wanted love. And it’s not right that he no longer believes he can have it.” 

You hadn’t seen Penelope look so desperate until now. It was concerning. Because what could make her look so hopeless? What could make Spencer so hopeless? 

“Penelope, I don’t know what’s wrong with your little friend, but… there’s a lot more bubbling inside him than you’re letting on.” 

She chewed up the insides of her cheeks, wincing to herself at your incredibly accurate claim. 

“You are hiding something, aren’t you?” You narrowed your eyes on her. You were no detective, or whatever exactly her team did, but she was just awful at concealing her thoughts.

“It’s not my story to tell,” she murmured. 

She could already feel herself about to give it away and doubled down her mental defenses against it. Focusing extra hard on keeping Spencer’s privacy intact. If only you knew her track record with secrets, you’d be proud of her for staying quiet this long.

“What isn’t your story?” 

“That his girlfriend died last year.” 

She spilled it before she even realized what she was saying. You’d just asked so nonchalantly that she forgot she was talking aloud. Penelope turned purple, terrified now that the whole truth was out there. 

You couldn’t even take satisfaction in the fact that your trick worked. You were just as mortified as Penelope, and if you weren’t already sitting down, you knew you’d need to. You assumed there was something deeper going on with him, you didn’t think it was a dead girlfriend. That was some Nicholas Sparks shit. 

“He pretends like he’s fine but I know he’s not. And if he found a way to move on, maybe he’d start feeling as okay as he claims to be,” she sniffled before snot could run from her nose, tears lining the rims of her eyes. “I know I should’ve given you the full picture, but I didn’t think you’d go for it if you knew…” 

You were too floored to process it all right away. This added a whole new layer of complicated to an already uneasy arrangement.

“Well, I know you’re right about one thing. I would’ve said no.” 

She gave you a set of pleading eyes, praying you’d see where she was coming from. 

“I know,” she whispered defeatedly. “But maybe... now that you know, you can understand why he acts out the way he does.”

“Penelope, I can’t just… make someone move on, or –– or get them to believe in love! Especially when it’s fake.”

How on Earth did she expect you to pull that off? Did that guy from A Walk to Remember move on when Mandy Moore died? You hadn’t seen the ending of the movie, but you assumed not. 

“I’m sorry, this is just… a lot bigger than the favor I thought it was ––”

“What if I could return it?” she cut in. The gears in her head started to turn, figuring ways to patch up the holes she made. 

“There’s nothing I need from you.” 

That couldn’t be true. Penelope looked around the room and it didn’t take her long to think of it.

“I can help you sell your art,” she tempted, gesturing to the scattered canvases. “You make all your income from this, right?” 

You didn’t want to give any fuel to her fire, but you nodded. “What if… what if you didn’t have to settle for local buyers? What if I told you that you could make way more money selling them to the whole world?”

You chortled at her idea. 

You were a local artist, through and through. Your art got put in local galleries and sold to local buyers. Nothing more, and that was fine with you. You realized it a long time ago that it was just a pipe dream to think you’d be more. 

“I’m serious! You could get a separate painting studio, and stop living in one? Huh?” She wrapped her hand around your shoulder, waving the other in the air, urging you to picture it with her. “Imagine this: a kitchen that’s separate from your living room. A bed, inside it’s own four walls, and more than twelve feet from where you cook your meals.”

Pushing aside her so blatantly insulting your apartment, if that were a possibility, you’d want nothing more. But it already sounded foolish and you hadn’t even heard how she planned to pull it off. 

“Penelope, I’m fine where I am. I make the money I need, and that’s... it’s fine.”

She gave you a pointed look. “You know, I can hack all search engine results to make sure you are what comes up first anytime someone enters the word ‘painting’, right?

An airy chuckle left your lips. Of course she could. You patted her thigh twice and stood up, prompting her to follow you to your door –– hopefully, so she can show herself to the other side of it. “Still no, Pen.” 

“Just take some time to think about it!” Her voice carried through the wood as you shut it on her.

*

There was this one bench in Kenilworth Park – the one that overlooks the crystal clear pond – that you’d always been able to rely on to fix any problem.

There was hidden magic in the bushes that sprawled out from the edges of the water, surrounded by spiky green blades of overgrown grass. A simplicity you loved in baby ducklings paddling into the tiny body of water, swimming close together so they don’t get lost in, what seems to them, a whole ocean. And clarity provided by the freshest air in the world, under the shade of the big oak trees on a late summer afternoon.

But at the present, none of that came close to being enough.

The artist’s block started off as a minor inconvenience, but without your permission, had stretched into weeks of steadily declining motivation. Each new idea felt even worse than the last, and you were acutely aware that there would come a point where you’d officially hit maximum capacity for how awful they could get.

Still, that didn’t seem to light a fire under you. You happily coexisted with the blank pages of your sketchbook. Staring down at them, laying open on your lap in their stark-white glory, you felt like you were playing a waiting game. If you stared long and hard enough, maybe they’d flinch. 

Unfortunately, you never got to find out who won, because your phone rang inside your pocket. As if the caller had interrupted an incredible genius at work (which couldn’t be farther from the truth), you hastily raised the phone to your ear, slamming your sketchbook shut.

“Hello?” Your voice wasn’t as kind as it could be for someone with nothing better to be doing. Two seconds later, you learned who was calling and came to regret it.

“Hi, This is Rebecca from District Arts, calling with a message from Andre ––”

“Oh, hi!” you tried to walk back your previous tone, straightening up in your seat and pitching your voice higher, “Yeah, I’ve been waiting to hear from him!” 

While Rebecca intimidated you, Andre happened to be your closest friend at the gallery. He worked closely with the artists to curate their collection and help them make sales. 

“Does he want to sort out what to set the opening bid prices at for my new pieces?” A handful of days ago, you sent him pictures of your new work and were waiting to hear his thoughts. You’d always been able to trust his opinion, and a vote of confidence from him might be just the thing to inspire you.

“Uhm…” There was a criminally long pause on the other side of the line, ended by Rebecca’s weary inhale. “Unfortunately, we’re calling to inform you that your pieces will not be included in the next rotation.”

For a minute, you weren’t sure what to make of what she said. You’d never heard those words before.

“What – what do you mean?” you laughed nervously. She probably misspoke. Perks of friendship aside, Andre always included you in sets. 

“Ugh, let me just get him…” her voice faded away as she put the phone down. 

That wasn’t exactly the reassuring statement you were looking for. In the time it took for the call to switch hands, your confusion finally melted in. And then quickly boiled into anger.

The District Arts gallery changed their entire collection every two months. The pieces shown accepted rolling bids throughout the full eight weeks, finally selling at the end of term to their highest offer. After that, the pieces got taken down, sent to happy new owners, and the entire gallery reset with entirely new works. 

So if you missed one rotation, that meant waiting two months to get back in.

“Andre, how am I just cut from the gallery!” you barked before he could get a word in. If he didn’t like your work, he could’ve just said so. 

“No one said that ––”

“Okay, let me rephrase.” You pinched the bridge of your nose, something you found yourself doing quite frequently lately, and took a deep breath in and out. It was seemingly just for show because it did absolutely nothing to calm you down. “Why wouldn’t you put me in the next set? I’m in all of them!”

“I know you are!” He sounded just as upset. “It’s just that… we give you the biggest space we have, because you always manage to fill it up. But this time… I’m not so sure you can.”

“That’s ridiculous,” you scoffed. “What makes you say that?” You asked that, but you knew.

“You’ve only finished three pieces… I’m worried how you’ll deliver seven more before we set up.”

“But… it’s four weeks away, I could do ––”

“And it took you four weeks to make what you have... I’m sorry. We couldn’t take that gamble.” 

He took your silence as an opportunity to turn off the work talk and speak, just friend to friend. 

“You know that I trust you and I’d hold that spot if I could. But, I also know what you’re going through right now, and… I don’t know, maybe letting yourself rest would be a good thing?” 

Your heart paused. By, “knowing what you’re going through”, you assumed he didn’t mean the little artist’s block.

“If you’re implying that I can’t do my job because of what happened with Cyrus –”

“I’m not, I’m not....” he backtracked as quickly as he could. “But take another look at the paintings you showed me and tell me if they feel like you.”

Even if he was right, you wanted to fight him. You wanted to cry. You wanted to beg that you didn’t need that big space; you were willing to downsize and just turn in the three that you had. Even if they got shoved into the corner where hardly anybody bothered to look. You just couldn’t afford to go two months without the income. 

But even with tears beading up, you realized that the gallery couldn’t afford it either. They needed to bring in money and you couldn’t do that for them this time. So they were right to go to someone who can.

“Right,” you sniffled, recollecting yourself so he can’t hear the shakiness in your voice. “I understand. It’s a big risk, like you said… It’s for the better.”

Andre tried to thank you for being understanding and spewed some sort of encouragement. The words flew over your head. You managed to toss in a few ‘mhmm’s and ‘sure’s at the right places to coast you along until the call finally ended. 

As soon as it went dead, you dropped your phone to the side and brought your hands to your face, rubbing them furiously over your cheeks. Your fingertips pressed hard into your eyelids, trying to forcibly reabsorb the tears threatening to spill. 

It almost worked, until you tried to breathe. 

A full sob escaped in that one gulp of air and you succumbed to it. But the loud crunching noise of some pedestrian walking over the falling leaves destroyed your sense of privacy, and you quickly wiped away all signs of your breakdown. The crunching stopped just short of your bench and on instinct you flicked your eyes up to see who the intruder was.

You did a double take. It was him. That fucking asshole.

He was standing there, looking dumber than you could even remember, with his hands in his coat pockets and a curious look on his face as he watched you cry. Tucking your sketchbook under your arm in haste, you made it a point to stand up with as much aggression as possible, rolling your eyes at him.

“Don’t worry, I’m leaving,” you barked. “No need to yell at me this time.”

You bristled past him, barely refraining yourself from checking his shoulder as payback. You wanted to believe you were better than him, but it did sound incredibly tempting. He stood there for a moment before turning on his heel and following you.

“Wait,” he groaned.

You didn’t listen, neither stopping nor slowing down.

“I said wait,” he huffed as he caught up to you, popping up at your side and jogging along as you kept going.

“Yeah, because I need to listen to a guy who yells at strangers in bookstores.” 

Now that you’d brought up the elephant in the room, your feet started moving even faster, working double time to get you away from him.

Damn the fact that he had those long legs. He didn’t even break a sweat trying to keep up. He was inescapable.

“Well, if you waited like I asked, you would’ve gotten an apology for the ––”

“Gee, thanks!” you yelled, stopping for only a second to turn to him and give him a mocking bow of your head, hands clasped together like you were praising at his altar. “I was waiting with bated breath for that! Thank you, kind sir, for now my life can go on.”

“Look, I’m actually sorry,” he snapped. Then in realizing the irony, softened his voice, “I’m sorry for being rude. I was having a bad day… not that that’s an excuse.”

You stared at him blankly, just watching his mouth moving quickly and waiting until it finally stopped. 

“Did you need something?” 

“Did you… did you not hear what I just said?!” 

“No, sorry,” you smiled, voice sweet like sugar. “My ears filter bullshit. Wanna try again?”

He scoffed, looking away like he couldn’t believe you before stepping even closer. “What’s your problem?”

“Me!? The fuck –– what the fuck is your problem?” You turned and stormed off again, seething at his audacity. Spencer just couldn’t relent his annoying tendencies and followed yet again.

“My problem is that I’m trying to be nice, and you’re not letting me!”

You got a good, hard laugh out of that. “Okay, first of all, having to apologize for yelling at me and pushing me isn’t exactly the best starting point for the journey of becoming a nice person.”

“Like I said, I was having a bad day.” 

Under your breath, you muttered, “Well, I hope this one’s even worse.”

“Why are you such a ––” He stopped himself from finishing that thought. Even in his worst mood, he wouldn’t cross that line. 

But he didn’t need to finish it, you knew exactly where he wanted to take it. The soles of your shoes scraped against the loose gravel as you came to a grinding halt, ears ringing.

“A what?” You turned to face him, a sarcastic smile on your face growing wider as he started to shrink more and more. You got up close in his face, daring him to say what he really wanted to. So he could reinforce your belief in exactly the type of person he was. “A what?” 

Spencer pursed his lips and shook his head, refusing to say it no matter how much you challenged him. If he wasn’t going to have the balls to say it, you decided to take it upon yourself.

“Tell you what, you keep thinking about it and get back to me the next time you’re in a cunty mood.” 

The word he was thinking of was probably not as bad, but you had a habit of escalating things. Even if you took this one too far, you didn’t care. 

Before you tried to take off again, Spencer’s hand flew to your elbow. He tugged you back, forcing you to turn around and face him. He didn’t know his own strength; without any resistance, you came stumbling into his chest, at risk of falling over if it weren’t for his tight grip on your arm.

It took you a beat to push him away with both your hands on his chest, vocalizing your disgust for being so close to him. 

“Can you stop trying to disagree with me for a second? I’m trying to tell you that you’re right, I was being a… well, you know…” He avoided the word. Apparently ‘cunt’ was where he drew the line. “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve it.” 

Your nostrils were still flared and blood hot as ever, but he made you pause. He looked sincere, if not a little tinged with guilt as well. You were suspicious of it.

“You saw me crying and felt bad, didn’t you?”

He laughed darkly. “Well, I saw you, yes. Did I feel bad? No.” 

“Oh, my God,” you growled, berating yourself for getting close to believing he might be capable of decency. 

“I’m joking! I’m joking.” He squeezed your elbow twice in earnest. “I did feel bad, but that’s not why I wanted to say it.”

“Okay.” You weren’t ready to give him a real smile, so you flattened your lips into a thin line and nodded once slowly, and left it at that. 

You still weren’t a fan, but the apology did dampen some of the resentment. Maybe he wasn’t the worst person alive. You’d settle for saying top ten most annoying, instead.

Minutes later, you came to the startling realization that he was still on the path, just two paces behind you. You flinched when you saw him out of the corner of your eye, not expecting him to still be here. 

“Uhm. Where are you… why are you still following me?” 

“I’m not. My car’s that way,” he gestured to the parking lot at the end of the long walkway. “I forgot my loaf for the ducks.” He didn’t mean to offer that information up, it just slipped out. He could practically see your smug expression coming before it even got there.

“You’re not supposed to feed bread to the ducks. It’s bad for them.”

“I don’t.” He didn’t care to explain this to you, but he couldn’t have you thinking he was any less competent than he really was. “It’s a special bread made from water and seeds that were ground into flour. It’s duck-safe.” 

“They make duck-safe bread?” Now that was something you’d never heard before. 

“No… I make duck-safe bread,” he said softly under his breath. 

You didn’t know how else you were supposed to react to that besides laughing wildly. 

“You make it?” He nodded like you were the crazy one here. As if he wasn’t the one spending his spare time grinding up seeds and baking loaves of bread for ducks, donning a frilly pink apron and oven mitts as he did so. At least that’s how you imagined it. “Why not just feed them the seeds?”

“Because, loose seeds will sink in the water and can potentially clog waterbeds and cause foreign bacteria growth in the pond.” 

“So you… hand-make the seeds into a little loaf of bread so it doesn't do that?”

He confirmed. You pondered silently for a moment, then absolutely had to ask, “You ever eaten the duck bread before?”

Spencer was caught off guard by that question. His cheeks deepened to a rosy color.

“Yeah, well, it was the house so…” he laughed nervously and stared at his sneakers. “It’s actually not too bad.”

You weren’t entirely surprised by that. You remembered what his grocery basket looked like, and given those same options, you probably would’ve tried the duck bread too. Still, you cracked the smallest of grins at knowing he makes bread for ducks. The one, sole redeeming fact you’ve learned about Spencer. 

You reached your car first, and Spencer stopped in front of it with you. 

“I’m actually sorry, you know,” he whispered once more, hand resting at the top of your car door as you opened it. He wasn’t talking about the incident at the bookstore.

“Yeah…” For a while you were so busy being angry at Spencer that you forgot about your own problems. 

He noticed your nose was still red around the edges, eyes still a little bleary. “Are you okay, by the way?” His voice was too soft, too genuine.

You shook your head no.

“Is there anything I can do?” You shook your head again. And then you had an awful thought.

You knew he was just offering to help just to say it, because that’s how people react when you say you’re not okay even if they don’t care. But there actually was something he could do for you… Something that Penelope could do.

“Uh, no but…” you fixed your hair and tucked it behind your ear, seamlessly switching to a flirtier voice. “If you still feel bad about the other day, you’re welcome to make it up to me.”

Spencer cocked his head to the side, unsure of how he could do that. 

“Hang out with me sometime.”

“H-hang out?” You could tell that it flustered him, even if he tried to play it off. He swallowed thickly, nose twitching and brows scrunched together.

“Relax, I really do just mean hang out.” You were lying through your teeth. He didn’t need to know that. 

As if he didn’t want to think about it for a second longer and just get out of this conversation as quickly as possible, he agreed without thinking it through. He didn’t even ask why an almost complete stranger would want to hang out with him. 

You stuck your hand out, expecting him to hand over his cell so you could put your contact into it. He rocked on the balls of his feet, watching as you input your contact and sent yourself a text on his phone.

“Hi, this is…” you read out your message as you typed, pausing at just the right place. “What’s your name by the way?”

“Oh-uh, I’m Spencer.” 

A devilish grin took over your face, hidden from his view while you were looking down at the screen. He was going to be easy to fool.

-

-

agh! im still not in love with how this chapter is turning out, but it came to a point where i just had to stop fiddling with it and just post it. any feedback or comments about this story is very much appreciated 💕

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[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

hi yes im still alive

DON’T MIND ME, I’M JUST--

HAVING A MOMENT TO PROCESS ALL THE LORE AND STORY CHAPTER 6 JUST DROPPED ON US, I CAN BARELY WRITE

AHHHHHHH, I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS 😭 kjdbbaufbiafafvoaybo LEMME PUT ON MY THINKING CAP AND THROW SOME STUFF OUT ASDYUBUASDLI;AGVUOQIB;VI You’ll understand why I used Leona’s face here even though it’s Idia and Ortho’s chapter after you read my thoughts--

***Chapter 6 (and other main story) spoilers below the cut!***

Okay, just to keep it simple, I’ll try to keep things in chronological order!

First is a bullet point list of my thoughts on chapter 6 so far, then all my questions and theories (mostly a biggish theory on Ace) are at the end of the post.

Expectation: Idia cowering in his room, Vil and Rook busting down his door using Epel as a battering ram, dead Ortho theory confirmed

Reality: SWAT TEAM RAID ON NRC, DORM LEADERS (sans Kalim) AND JAMIL GET KIDNAPPED

Admittedly, I’m disappointed to see that the injury Grim inflicted to MC was basically just a cat scratch and nothing more. I thought it would be a lot more impactful if MC had to deal with juggling the realization that Grim has betrayed their friendship and trust while also on the verge of death (or at least while being severely injured)... And given how MC reacted to the attack at the end of chapter 5, I would think whatever struck them was much more substantial than just a cat scratch. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say either the script got scrubbed by Disney, or the intent was that MC was still woozy from VDC / OB Vil, MC felt so betrayed that it shook them emotionally, or that MC was just that weak by default that they can’t defend themselves against cat claws.

Hey, Ramshackle’s finally getting renovated! Proceeds to immediately get destroyed again--

I feel like????????? They tried to retroactively explain why Neige won to try and mitigate the uproar over how VDC ended. There’s some dialogue between the VDC group about how they didn’t perform at their peak because of having just walked out of dealing with OB Vil, and how Neige’s fans were going to vote for him anyway because they resonated with his background. Honestly, I think they should have moved on from that sore spot instead of bringing it up again, even if how chapter 5 ended didn’t personally bother me.

BOOM, HERE COME THE TWST TERMINATORS--

NOT GONNA LIE, THOSE STYX GUYS LOOK HOT SO COOL

AAAAAAND IT’S KIDNAPPING MONTAGE TIME, KIDS

JOABSFHUPAUABDBADB CALM DOWN, RIDDLE??????? YOU’RE GOING TO COMMIT ARSON IN BROAD DAYLIGHT--

Okay, I know this chapter’s focused on Ignihyde and Grim, but the standout part to me (so far) has been the scene where Leona’s being kidnapped. Historically, Leona has not been a character that I like (excluding that one time I had to pretend to like him for a game). I feel like he’s one massive missed opportunity (he didn’t show up much in chapter 2, he’s pretty similar backstory-wise to his Disney counterpart compared to the other Dorm Leaders, he didn’t seem to learn anything or become a better person even a LITTLE after chapter 2, etc.). I’m not a fan of his lazy and arrogant attitude either (even if it is justified by his backstory). But here? THIS IS THE LEONA I ACTUALLY LIKE AND WANT TO SEE MORE OF. 

LIKE????? I CAN’T DESCRIBE TO YOU HOW MUCH I LIKE THIS SCENE???? Yeah, we have Leona fighting STYX at first, but as soon as he realizes who they are, he wises up and surrenders because he knows better than to resist arrest. AND NOT ONLY THAT, but he uses King’s Roar in a smart way--to turn the falling greenhouse glass panes into sand so they don’t hurt anyone nearby (namely him and Ruggie).

And after he turns himself in????? LEONA TELLS RUGGIE TO TAKE CARE OF SAVANACLAW FOR HIM!!! THIS is what a real leader would do. He looks after himself and his people, but he knows when to surrender, AND he leaves his “kingdom” (the dorm) in good hands while he’s away. THIS is the Leona I want to see.

AJBDUASHPFBUABFIABIYFBIPFAAFIAF I ALSO REALLY LIKE HIS SASS WHEN HE JUST THROWS HIS HANDS UP AND ASDBIASBIABAIODDAYOFAIPPADAIDB SAYS “I’ll go with you, but be careful while escorting me, okay? Despite my looks, I'm a precious prince. I’ll get sick/dizzy if you drive recklessly.” SARCASTIC SASSY SMARTASS??????? IF YOU HAD MORE LINES LIKE THIS, I’D LIKE YOU MORE

I love how Azul’s still talking about capitalism/how he can profit from Idia (apparently the Shrouds are like the TWST equivalent of Google??????) as he’s being escorted away by the agents?????? IF I WERE HIM, I’D BE PISSED OFF THAT THEY INTERRUPTED MY BOARD GAME????? At least let the man finish first--

Damn, everyone’s being tasered???????? And apparently all the STYX agents are equipped with anti-magic plates? I guess Bind the Heart can just eat shit then--

Lilia’s ringtone is cute, period.

CROWLEY CALLED STYX TO CAPTURE GRIM???? GRIM IS OFFICIALLY A SCP THAT NEEDS TO BE CONTAINED????

WAIT WHAT CROWLEY’S BEING KIDNAPPED TOO??????? Oh well, the school is probably safer in Trein’s hands anyway--

askhlbfbilhidbabbidasb RIDDLE WAKES UP POST KIDNAPPING AND HE’S USING LEONA AS A LAP PILLOW?????!

How does it feel to be held in a room against your will, Jamil? Yeah, don’t like a taste of your own medicine, do you?

OH HI IDIA, NICE YZMA MAD SCIENTIST GETUP YOU GOT THERE

Wait, what????? THAT’S IT?????? SERIOUSLY???????

MAN.

I have so many questions??????? Specifically about STYX and what they do, and how the Shrouds are tied into all of it.

So they say STYX is a specialized unit called in to quell serious Overblot cases. And if Crowley called them to deal with Grim... well, bad times ahead for Grim. STYX has also been studying Overblot for a long time, which is why (I think?) they captured Riddle, Leona, Azul, Jamil, and Vil. 

There’s been some allusions made between Grim and Stitch in a lot of fan art and fan theories I’ve seen, since their struggles have some parallels: that being them struggling to decide if they are “good” or “bad”. I don’t know if this was intentional on the part of the TWST writing team, but regardless, it’s a really good concept that plays into the themes of TWST itself. There’s no good, there’s no evil, no black and white--most of the characters we see may be BASED on villains, but that doesn’t MAKE them villains. They are good, and bad, in their own ways--and now Grim is dealing with that crisis as he fights to keep his sanity and avoid completely succumbing to Overblot.

Though Idia seems to be involved with STYX’s research, it doesn’t sound like he personally gave the order to retrieve those test subjects (or at the very least, he’s not happy about roughing up the test subjects), it sounds like the orders came from other people in the organization. His parents, perhaps?

They mention briefly that Idia’s parents are asking him to “come home”, so it must be for something urgent. Are they worried about his safety? But Idia’s lines at the end of chapter 5 lead me to think he is estranged from his family, since he straight up rejected a job offer linked to them (Olympus Corp is owned by the Jupiter family, and the Shrouds are a branch family of Jupier), and says something like “I’m not welcome anywhere”. Has Idia done something to disgrace him from the rest of the family? Or is it more of a self imposed/self inflicted statement, given that he always says he’s “cursed” and acts like he’s guilty of something that deserves scorn?

Why is Idia participating in STYX research, even if it means experimenting on his fellow students (and fellow board game enthusiast Azul)? People are speculating that he wants to use blots to fully revive Ortho (if dead Ortho theory is true), or that Idia actually has heroic intentions (he wants to know more about blots to prevent OBing from happening?), but at this point??? Literally anything could happen?!

In future parts, I’m guessing Pomefiore, MC, and Adeuce will team up to break Jamil and the Dorm Leaders (except Malleus, Malleus got left out again www) out? And HOPEFULLY we get to see Rook’s Unique Magic or at least more screen time, since I feel like he got so little in chapter 5... Another thing I’d like to see is Ace and/or Epel getting their Unique Magic, or at least starting to develop it. It’s really mostly Ace I want more details for.

A theory I’ve been holding onto for a long time is that Deuce getting his UM will spur Ace on to become jealous (since he has always seen Deuce as an idiot/”lesser” than him), and that will cause a rift in the friendship, or for Ace to throw himself into a dangerous situation to prove himself (he has done it before with Riddle)... and has his ass rescued again. This would make Ace even angrier, since he feels like everyone is treating him like a little kid or rubbing it in that he isn’t “as good” as they are. I don’t know where it would go from there (I’m sure TWST would get creative), but ultimately it would culminate in Ace making amends with everyone and rushing in to save them from either Grim or Idia OB.

I don’t think Ace would discover his UM in a similar manner as Deuce (Deuce had to embrace his own stubbornness and straightforwardness, but as the term “Unique” Magic implies, the way a magic develops and manifests is “unique” to the user). While Deuce has to learn to accept his own way of thinking, I believe Ace is already sure of his own way of thinking and has totally accepted it. I think what Ace has to deal with instead is coming to terms with his fickleness. We’ve seen him time and time again treating his loved ones kind of callously, from constantly bullying MC, Grim, and Deuce to ghosting his own girlfriend and flaking on people when they are counting on him to do a task.

The issue with Ace isn’t that he isn’t aware, it’s that he is aware and he seems to think this behavior is totally okay. He demonstrates little to no remorse in what he does and says, and he doesn’t seem to care about the consequences either (how many times does he get punished by Riddle, yet he keeps doing the same dumb things over and over?). Ace appears to operate under the mindset of always being in the right, or (if he’s in the wrong), he won’t really acknowledge it, or he will wave it off as “no big deal”--and I think that’s his greatest weakness.

In the scenario I described earlier, I mentioned that Ace’s jealousy will cause a wedge between him and his friends, and I think this will play into him realizing the error of his ways. When he has finally driven away all of the people that supported him, what will he have left? Nothing. Then maybe Ace suddenly finds himself relating to Idia, or to Grim, who have Overblotted and are in a similar emotional state as he is. Confused and lonely... and that energizes him to pitch in again, even if all he has is wind magic up his sleeve. Everyone could be shocked that Ace has returned, and in that moment, he could finally realize his true potential and unlock his Unique Magic!

(Maybe that’s too specific, but that’s a scenario that I’ve had playing in my head for a long time!)

... Buuuuut given that Ace has gotten little to no spotlight so far in chapter 6, I’m not sure if they’ll lean into him developing his UM yet (unless they pull a chapter 5 and really start addressing Ace in the latter half of the chapter like they did with Deuce). Seeing as chapter 6 is dealing with a lot of heavy topics (death, Grim lore, Overblot lore), I’m thinking maybe the TWST team will push off Ace’s UM development to chapter 7???? The only way I can see it happening in chapter 6 is if the chapter is SUPER long, or if the writing is REALLY good or really bad. 

Anyway, I’m keeping my fingers crossed!!! I’m so excited for the rest of chapter 6... I hope that we don’t have to wait too long for it!

[junowritings]

Hello! Can I request hcs of the dorm leaders having a crush on reader please? Normally reader is a pretty shy and serious person. But one day, they see reader from afar (alone or with Grimm): Reader is acting happy go lucky and goofy, without a care in the world. How would they react? (Reader is the type to be silent and introverted in social situations but when they are alone or with someone they are comfortable with, they act bubbly and lively) Thank you!

dfghjhgfds okay so I really got carried away with this one and it shows - this focused less on the crush and more like moments between them so I hope that you like this hun~! ------

Riddle

♡ How someone so serious and reserved managed to wrangle Heartslabyul’s first years into an unlikely friendship is anyone’s guess, but it really didn’t take long after your appearance at Night Raven College before Ace and Deuce started hanging out with you and Grim. Riddle’s heard talk about you before actually meeting you for himself - it seems that even despite your shy demeanor, you’ve become fast friends with some of the other dorm members. Trey’s talked about you coming over to watch him bake, and how you were pretty adept at listening to instructions; and Cater often brings you up in conversation, bringing up some of the selfies he’s roped you into taking with him and showing them to Riddle, lamenting about how you seem to clam up at the mere prospect of large crowds.  ♡ It’s because of this that he’s somewhat prepared when the two of you initially run into one another - if only the circumstances were better given the whole unbirthday party issue. Still, that doesn’t seem to ward you off, if anything, Riddle finds you visiting Heartslabyul even more often after that event ♡ All things considered, you and Riddle actually get along rather well - whilst you don’t talk much, preferring to let the people around you do that talking for you, you’re rather pleasant company to have around. You don’t know even a quarter of the dorm’s rules, but he recognizes your effort to adhere to them as best as you’re able when you come to visit, and for what it’s worth the effort doesn’t go unappreciated on Riddle’s part, especially on his journey to be a little more lenient. He’s not exactly sure when you start winning his favor, or when he starts paying attention to little details about you when you’re around, but he notices he seems to act a little softer during your interactions, though he swears to himself that’s an unconscious reaction to a friend and nothing more. ♡ He’s heard Grim mention that you’re way more outgoing when you’re at Ramshackle alone, and Riddle has to ponder on if it’s because you’re more comfortable being yourself on your own. He’s the first to recognize that you’re more bubbly and lively when you’re comfortable, but doesn’t see it for himself till later on.  ♡ He’s walking through the dorm halls on his way back to his room, when he hears snickering coming from the common room. Nothing too unusual, but he finds himself idly wondering what’s going on in there, so he makes a small detour to double check, just in case there’s trouble brewing. Riddle walks past the common room, watches a familiar black furball go flying up into the air, and promptly backtracks to see what’s going on. He’s already preparing to chew what he assumes is some plucky first years making a mess of the common room, when he spots you, arms outstretched as Grim falls and drops on top of you, where you skillfully catch him.  ♡ You’re beaming at such a simple action, scritching Grim behind the ears as you hold the monster back up; Riddle doesn’t understand exactly what you’re doing until he watches Grim go soaring back into the air thanks to you promptly tossing him up at the cat’s signal. The sight is weird - especially because he’s pretty sure that Grim could fly just fine the last time he checked, but you genuinely look like you’re having a lot of fun throwing the feline up into the air and catching him, getting progressively higher each time. ♡ It appears Grim must trust you more than he lets on to let you do this, either that or the head pats you give him every time he comes back down is enough of a bribe to go along with the little game you’re playing. It’s rather childish, and not something he expected to ever catch you doing, which is exactly why he justifies staring at the scene for as long as he does instead of stepping in. There’s something about the way that you’re acting now that seems almost carefree, nothing quite like the stern, solemn look on your face back when he’d first caught sight of you at the induction. In all honesty it’s an almost enviable expression, or at least, that’s the feeling Riddle assumes he’s feeling when a warmth starts welling up in his chest the longer he watches the two of you play together.

Leona

♡ Has no idea how he ended up crushing on you - you’re quiet, keeping to yourself most of the time unless you get dragged into other people’s problems. That honestly suits him just fine since it means you’re less of a pain to have around - he doesn’t have to concern himself with needless blabbering or deal with the stunts the more reckless ones of his dorm seem to have a field day trying to pull off. 

♡ The longer you and Leona are around one another, the more he’s convinced that there’s more to you than what you’re letting on. Sometimes, he’ll see little flashes of something beneath your usual silent demeanor, especially during moments when you’re happy; it’s like you want to express yourself more, be more open with your feelings. But every time he sees those flashes they’re gone just as quick, which makes him start actively keeping an eye out for those little moments.

♡ One such moment is where he gets a proper glimpse at what you’re like when you’re truly comfortable. Leona was more focused on trying to nap rather than entertain guests, so he’d let Ruggie take care of you while he found a spot to get comfortable; he’s in and out of it, only half paying attention when the sound of giggling rouses him. With a grumble, unamused at being disturbed, Leona cracks an eye open to see what Ruggie’s up to now - fully expecting you to be the latest recipient of one of the hyena’s latest trick when he sees the two of you sat on the floor, legs crossed and facing each other.

♡ It’s easy to assume at first that Ruggie’s just using his unique magic on you to make you follow along with his expressions and actions, but the longer Leona watches the pair of you, he notices that your reactions are just a beat slower than Ruggies, as though you’re waiting for the hyena to move first and acting accordingly. If imitating Ruggie’s your game, you’re doing a pretty good job of it, but every time you mirror his expression Leona can see the pair of you physically struggling to stop yourselves from laughing, watching you bite your lip and seeing the corners of your eyes crinkle in an effort to steel your expression even as a smile tugs at your lips. Ruggie’s not much better, grinning like a fool as he works to make you pull the silliest expressions he can muster, making himself look equally ridiculous in the process.

♡ It’s a childish game, and you’re sure that you can hear Leona huff at the silly display, but that doesn’t stop him from watching the scene play out, easing himself up from his previous napping position into one more comfortable to keep watching. He’s more focused on you than he is Ruggie, watching your expression contort every which way before breaking out into that same grin when a snort of laughter ruins the otherwise quiet of the game. You don’t look as serious and timid as what he’s used to seeing, and you’re interacting way more than you usually do, even sticking Ruggie with some spicy retorts every time he snickers about how silly you look. It’s actually kind of refreshing, in a way, to have his suspicions confirmed that you weren’t just that silent stone wall that others had stuck you to be, so he finds himself looking at that grin of yours like he’s trying to carve it into memory.

♡ Leona makes a comment about your expressions, a little jab that you’re used to hearing by now after being around him for so long; but Leona’s surprised to find that you’ve got a little backbone this time around, sticking him with a defiant huff as you stick your tongue out at him. It’s bratty behavior, but he at least appreciates the cheek you have to pull that face at him before you whirl back around, hands excitedly patting your legs as you egg Ruggie to keep going with this little imitation show. You can’t see it, but that action earns you a raised brow before Leona shakes his head, running a hand through his hair as he flops back down, making you assume that he’s trying to get back to sleep as you continue playing - and he would be, if he didn’t want to keep listening to the sound of your carefree laughter for just a it longer. 

Azul

♡ Azul knows better than to just assume that everyone shows their true personalities without hesitation - keeping your cards to yourself until it’s safe and avoiding moments of vulnerability around those you aren’t close to are traits that he knows all too well. And it’s precisely because of this that he doesn’t immediately judge you based on your initial shyness, instead opting to give it time and see how things pan out. Besides, after the events of that whole contract incident, the way you ended up handling it, and the things that have been thrown at you since, has piqued the dorm leader’s interest.

♡ Visiting Monstro lounge after hours has become a common occurrence, to the point where Azul’s more used to seeing you sitting somewhere in the lounge than he is not - there’s an unusual emptiness to the place on the days that you can’t make it, even if Azul’s not always interacting with you outside of the nod of acknowledgment and initial greeting. Whether you enjoy the quiet atmosphere or the company is anybody's guess, but when you’re visiting on your own you hardly cause any trouble, so Azul doesn’t mind you coming around in the slightest. Plus, you have a tendency to keep Floyd occupied when things get slow, which works out for everybody working there since he enjoys having you around as well. Today’s one such day where you’ve got his attention, as you’re helping to move some of the stuff people have left behind on the counter for the brother’s to pick up. Upon seeing the little collection of cups you’re making, Floyd doesn’t think twice about sliding one over to you, with little warning other than telling you to catch as he does so.

♡ You’d acted without thinking; all you’d seen was a glass coming at you from the corner of your eye and you swatted it back the way it came, almost immediately realizing your mistake as you whip your head around to watch the cup coast back over to Floyd. He looks down at the glass with a look of surprise as he catches it, but in the next  moment that confusion is replaced with an amused grin and he nudges once again over to your side of the counter. This time you actually grab it, and after a second of skeptically eyeing the glass and Floyd you send it back at him; and, just like that, your new little minigame is afoot.

♡ The glass whizzes back and forth, getting progressively faster with each clink across the counter. And it’s that clinking that draws Azul’s attention, as the sound is enough to draw him into turning his focus over to the counter, watching the two of you play. You’re focused, tongue poking from the corner of your mouth as you focus on the glass as it comes back towards you; Floyd’s also thoroughly invested by the little game, and Azul can see his grin getting a little wider every time you have to lean over to bat it back over in his direction. It’s only a matter of time before something happens, Azul can see that clearly with how fast the glass is moving, but instead of calling out to the two of you to stop, Azul watches the exchange anyways, if only to wait for that moment to come.

♡ You must have underestimated the shot, as the next time that the glass goes whizzing towards Floyd it slips right past him and rockets off the counter. You both yell and make a grab for it even though you’re on the far end - Floyd just about falls off of the bar stool trying to snag it only to hit the floor hard enough to make the shelves rattle. Thankfully, Jade’s able to pluck it right from the air right before it hits the ground, sauntering back to the kitchen and carrying the leftover glasses from the remaining tables with him.

♡ Floyd pouts and mourns the loss of your playing glass, but you burst out into a cheer at the nice save, clapping for the Leech twin as he nods in your direction and offers you a smile as he disappears into the back room. The sudden outburst actually shocks Azul, who regards your shout with wide eyes; he’s never heard you yell before, much less that loud, so the sound catches him off guard. It seems that you catch yourself just as fast however, as the second you spot Azul looking at you, your face visibly flushes, embarrassed over him watching over the little scene, face only turning brighter when he flashes you a smile upon noticing you looking at him.

Kalim

♡ Honestly, the two of you couldn’t be more polar opposites to people on the outside looking in. Kalim’s good vibes personified, whereas you’re incredibly introverted and shy around people that you don’t know too well; it makes for an interesting dynamic between the two of you, but Kalim takes it all in stride! Regardless of whether you’re the shyest person in the world, or if you’re the most outgoing, Kalim has a way of finding the best in people and wants to be friends if you’re up for it. So when you first meet at the induction ceremony and you greet him, timid and nervous, Kalim’s really excited to greet you back, already armed with a slew of questions and things he wants to know - what can he say? He’s always interested in getting to know new people! And you’re no exception.

♡ You’re not much of a talker, preferring to let Grim or your other friends do the talking for you, but Kalim doesn’t mind in the least! Though he’s the kind of person that tries to take any and all opportunities to coax you into talking more, which can be very overwhelming during the first few weeks that you spend getting to know him. Fortunately, Jamil’s almost always there to rear him back and stop him from getting overly excited whenever he starts noticing that you’re getting uncomfortable or overwhelmed. It helps that Kalim gets Grim to warm up to him really easily, as seeing that your dormmate actually wants to hang out around him too makes you feel a bit more comfortable hanging out around him and letting loose a little more than you usually would.

♡ And Kalim’s not the only one excited for your visits. His magic carpet’s got a mind of its own and a playful streak that’s apparently only amplified whenever Grim’s in the vicinity - looks like the fluffy monster makes for a prime playmate. You, frankly, find that fact adorable, but Grim gets so miffed being constantly hounded by a magic rug that he actively goes out of his way to avoid it, even if that means swallowing his pride and hiding under or behind something until it’s gone (a fact that you love to bring up when it’s just the two of you - that’s gained you more than a few singed hairs). Unfortunately for your fluffy companion however, neither of you have really been good at knowing where exactly it is when you drop by Scarabia to hang out with Kalim, which means you either don’t have any interactions with it at all, or you do and…well, you get situations such as this.

♡ You’re walking in stride with Kalim, listening to him as he talks - he loves that you’re such a great listener, though that’s only an added bonus thanks to your usually shy demeanor (not that you’d tell him that, he looks so happy every time he gets to ramble you could listen to him talk all day). He’s mid conversation when you spot something whizz across your vision from the corner of your eye - you have no idea what it is, but you’ve got an idea of what it could be when you spot another flash of vibrant fabric. 

♡ Unlike you Kalim’s completely oblivious to this, and you’re still not quite sure what you’re seeing till you finally watch a blur round the corner. The carpet spots Grim, and in the next second Grim’s gone from his spot and zipping down the hall on the carpet's back. His scream is abrupt and loud enough that your ears ring, but the sight of the cat clinging to the fabric and cussing up a storm of curses you didn’t even know he knew makes you react without thinking.

♡ You burst into laughter, throwing your head back before you can even stop yourself watching Grim disappear from view down the corridor. As soon as he hears you laugh, unabashed and unrestrained, Kalim just falls so hard. He’s seen you smile - he’s actually been responsible for making you smile on more than one occasion, and he loves that he’s been able to do so - but there’s just something about the pure joy in your voice, tinged with disbelief, that makes this moment different. It’s the type of laugh that has you leaning against the wall for support and clutching your side, and you only laugh harder when you hear Grim’s voice in the distance, shrieking at you to stop laughing.

♡ Your laughter is contagious, and it isn’t long before Kalim joins in laughing alongside you; that really doesn’t help calm you down, if anything it spurs you on into a spiral until both of you are laughing hard enough that you’re leaning up against each others shoulders every time you hear Grim’s voice carrying on the wind - it’s a moment to remember for sure.

Vil

♡ You’re shy, reserved and keep to yourself unless it’s something you need to actively get involved in, so perhaps it's exactly that reason that you fly under Vil’s radar for so long. Back at the auditions you had looked as though you’d rather be anywhere else rather than being swarmed by your fellow students, visibly shying away and keeping to your small little bubble of friends right up until the moment that the auditions started. Perhaps it was an act of mercy that you weren’t picked as one of the main performers, and he’d fully expected that to be the last direct interaction that he had with you and that fuzzy little thing that hovers around you all of the time.

♡ Only it isn't, even after the events of the VDC it's as though you’d resolved to go out of your way to visit Pomfiore, having gotten attached to your new friends and wanting to make the effort to keep them close even if it was through quick visits. Your self proclaimed task seems easier, given that little Epel has been unanimously adopted into your little gaggle of potatoes and you’ve gotten rather close to some of the other Pomfiore members since meeting them.

♡ It seems like you’ve wormed your way into the hearts of the Vil’s dormmates - Epel’s hanging around you just about every time that he’s spotted you on school grounds, and Rook is ever doting. Vil’s not really one to talk however, given that he’s the first person to greet you whenever you come to the Pomfiore dorm for one reason or another. This is one such instance - apparently one of your little group had decided to cook some desserts and had an abundance of fruits and treats leftover, so you’d brought a couple to share, with Ace and Grim in tow as you offered Vil a rather excited greeting upon seeing him at the door.

♡ An impromptu call had pulled him away from the group momentarily, and by the time the whole mess was sorted out he was already preparing for the chaos your friends must have caused in his absence (seriously, it’s like they go out of their way to nearly break something). However, as he comes to stand in the doorway, he’s accosted by the sight of what looks like a piece of fruit skimming through the air only to land in Grim’s mouth as the monster zips up to snag it. It appears that while he was gone you’d started up a little game of throwing food across the room for Grim to catch, and given the lack of mess on the floor it appears the monster’s been doing a fair job of catching what you toss. You’re biting back a chuckle as you reach for the next piece of fruit, aiming an apple slice in Grim’s direction and asking if he’s ready - in response he grins and rubs his paws together. 

♡ You toss the piece, watching it move through the air and waiting for Grim to catch it. It looks like your trajectory was a bit off however, as it ends up sailing directly over Grim’s head and towards the windowsill where Rook’s sitting; your face immediately flashes to one of panic as you start to rise from your chair, the beginnings of a warning starting to form. It’s almost seamless how swift Rook turns his head, and before you can even blink he’s holding the apple slice between his teeth, flashing a wink before eating it and praising you for the impeccable aim.

♡ This is the first time that Vil’s seen you visibly brighten at the sight of a challenge, and he finds himself pausing in the doorway as he watches you straighten up in your chair, leaning on your knees as you reach into the pack for the next piece of fruit. This time you pull out a grape, and you shoot Rook a grin as you rear back, aiming the fruit over at his direction as he swivels around in preparation. 

♡ This goes on for a few more tosses, and while Vil feels as though he should break up the little exchange, he can’t find it in himself to step in as he watches an orange slice sail across the room in a swift arc and Ace dives from his seat to slide across the floor and catch it, joining in on the fun. The moment he does a roar of triumph rips through the room, and you throw your hands up as you hollar and laugh at the successful shot; only to underestimate how far you’d leaned back and topple right off of your chair. You hit the floor, disappearing from sight, and your friends immediately make a move to check if you’re okay when they hear you laugh, still giggling to yourself by the time your head peeks back up from behind the counter.

♡ You’re disheveled from the fall, hair mussed and collar and tie left askew and loose - had this been usual circumstances, Vil’s first thought would have been to admonish you for letting yourself get into such a unkempt state and he’d have stepped in to correct the slight immediately; instead, his thoughts are trained on your expression, how different it looks from the carefully neutral facade you usually wore. How far that face had come since he’d first met you, now so warm and full of energy, it was as though you were alight with life with each little mark and awry hair only adding to your appearance. You looked...happy, imperfect but somehow...better than beautiful.

♡ Rook’s voice breaks him from entertaining that thought further, clapping his hands together and promptly announcing Vil’s sudden presence to the rest of the party. Vil watches the surprise cross your face, head ducking down so that only your eyes were visible behind the counter as you offer him a timid wave (though the reddening tips of your ears are enough to indicate your embarrassment). He’s swift to stride across the room, rounding the counter to where you’re still kneeling on the floor. You seem shocked when he offers you a hand, and Vil has to ponder just why you’re so shy in his presence as you eye the outstretched hand; you take the offer though, and honestly have to marvel at how soft his hand feels as it holds yours and tugs you up from the floor.

♡ You expect him to move away from you once you’re back onto your feet, but you’re hardly steady again when the hand holding yours moves to your shoulder, balancing you as he gives your disheveled state a once-over. He makes a noise akin to a hum before you feel a hand carding through your hair, smoothing out the otherwise untamable mess with precise fingers and you probably would have flushed under the attention were you not so surprised by the action. Instead of admonishment, Vil finds himself urging you to be careful - potatoes may be sturdy, but he’d rather not have this one getting hurt.

Idia

♡ In all honesty, Idia’s just as introverted, if not more so given his penchant for locking himself away from the world and sticking to the safety of his dorm room at any and all opportunities. So if there’s any chance of you interacting with him, it's either from pure luck, or because you befriended his brother - which given the circumstances, is definitely the latter of the two scenarios. Your shy and reserved personality around others and tendency to clam up in social situations reminds Ortho a lot of Idia, so after his first interaction with you during the Pomfiore auditions he makes an effort to get to know you! It takes you off guard, and Grim butting into the conversation every other minute to ask the boy something arbitrary really doesn’t help with your feelings on the situation; with time, and a little work however, you start opening up a little around him, and with the open and practiced way he approaches you, it isn’t long before the two of you actually become pretty decent friends.

♡ Idia just doesn’t know what to make of you when he hears of your first few meetings relayed directly through Ortho. It’s like you’re some kind of anomaly or glitch that slipped under his radar up until this point in time, and he doesn’t know what trick you’re pulling, but so long as you don’t have any malicious intentions he figures he can tolerate hearing about you. And boy, does he hear it - it’s like you’re involved in just about everything that goes wrong at Night Raven College one way or another, though it seems like it’s through no fault of your own if what he’s seen through the cameras is anything to go by. In a way he almost kind of sympathizes for you, being dragged around every which way by the other dorm heads and students looks exhausting, and you really seem to hate being around all the large crowds that all the school’s events attract. It’s like the only moment of respite you get is with your new flame-haired friend and that talking cat monster, Grim, but Idia doesn’t have much first hand experience when it comes to interacting with you.

♡ The first time you actually meet him face to face, it’s a complete accident. It’s not like he even knew you were going to be coming to the dorm because he hadn’t heard anything about it - it must have been an impromptu invitation, which is really unlike his little brother to do - so imagine his surprise when he rounds a corner and narrowly misses running headfirst into you. He knows what you look like, has seen it through his monitor a few times; hell, you’ve even greeted him through the tablet at dorm leader meetings once or twice when you were close enough to it. But seeing you through a monitor, and seeing you now in the flesh is so jarring that for a hot second he freezes up, looking at you with a baffled expression. You look so different face to face, and he watches you regard him curiously, head cocking to the side as though trying to size him up. It’s only when you give him a confused look and offer a quiet “uhhh,hi?” that Idia realizes what’s going on, and within the next moment he’s gone so fast that you have to double check that he was even there to begin with.

♡ Needless to say, not the best first impression, and Idia’s about ready for the earth to swallow him whole after that incident when you actually go out of your way to approach him the same day. You don’t try to burst into his room or demand him to come out like most of the others, instead you merely knock to announce your presence and mutter out a quiet yet surprisingly serious apology for scaring him back there, mentioning that you hope everything’s okay between you, afterall, you don’t to upset the person that you friend looks up to so much. And then just like that you’re gone, giving him some space as you go off to seek out Ortho.

♡ The friendship between you and Idia is definitely a slowburn, and often has Ortho as the middleman so to speak, being the more outgoing of the three of you when Grim isn’t following you around. Slowly but surely, you open up and start talking to him more, even asking him questions about his games and the kinds of things that he likes to tinker with - it’s a lengthy process, but as Idia spends more time answering your queries he realizes that he’s started to get used to having you around, even kind of looking forward to you coming over.  ♡ Idia recognizes the beginnings of a crush, being able to distinguish that these feelings are different than just friendship, and he gets so worked up about it. A lot of his pining is done from afar, as he’d rather keel over and burn the dorm down before he admits his feelings out loud - he’s always thinking of the worst case scenario with social interactions, and just thinking about all the ways you could possibly reject him is enough to make him feel nauseous, so he sticks to just keeping it to himself and lingering on these feelings safely behind closed doors. He’s sure he can keep it to himself, convinced of it...until he sees what you’re like when you’ve warmed up to someone.

♡ He’d crashed in his bed after staying up way too long grinding for an in-game event, leaving you and his brother to play whatever multiplayer he’d dug up for the two of you to take a crack at; Idia’s the first to admit that sometimes he can sleep like the dead if he’s particularly sleep deprived, so it’s not a surprise that he doesn’t wake up till quite a while later. What wakes him up however is laughter - one voice is Ortho’s, he recognizes it immediately, but the other voice takes him by surprise, and he finds himself peeking his head out from the covers, mindful to keep his hair underneath lest he give away that he’s awake.

♡ Idia finds the two of you giggling to yourselves, with you laughing so hard that there’s tears in your eyes as you clap a hand over your mouth to muffle the sound. Ortho isn’t much better, thoroughly entertained by your laughing and trying to hide his own chuckles as you struggle to recompose yourself - it’s a bizarre scene to watch, and Idia has no idea what’s got you so chuffed until you compose yourself enough to inch back over to your controller. Upon looking at the screen, he sees that you’re still playing that game - there’s a cutscene playing, however it doesn’t take much to realize that the model looks wrong, some kind of bug giving them hilariously static poses that look awkward as the panels switch from scene to scene. There’s a split second where it looks like the bug’s corrected itself, and the laughter dies down into breathy chuckles as you move to click the button prompt. But then all Idia sees is the flash of a stock horse model whizzing across the screen and into the sky and Idia watches you and his brother just about crumple with a wheeze all over again.

♡ He’s never seen you even laugh like that before, much less act so ridiculously silly over something as small as a game glitch, but he’s practically glued to watching your reaction, watching this new, boisterous side of you with a rapt fascination. It’s hard to compose yourself while fighting off the giggles, attempting to imitate some of the bizarre cutscenes as you ramble excitedly about how weird and funny that whole thing was. Ortho also makes an attempt to follow suit, and that starts the pair of you off all over again. Idia would be hard pressed to deny that the sight of you and his brother, grinning without a care as your face flushes from all the yelling, didn’t make him ridiculously happy. If this is what you’re usually like, then does that mean he hasn’t unlocked that with you yet? He’s quick to shake away the thought, instead continuing to watch the scene unfolding in his room - he almost wishes that he could join in on the fun.

♡ Well, it looks like that wish comes true, as Ortho spots his brother out of the corner of his eye and greets him as he excitedly points at the screen, wanting to fill him in on what’s happened while he’s been resting. Your head snaps over to his bed, and he sees the flush on your face turn a deeper shade now for a different reason as you offer a timid greeting of your own, still smiling that bright smile as you apologize for waking him up. At being caught Idia doesn’t know what to say so he reacts without thinking, letting out a choked noise and diving back into his covers so you can’t see his face burning in embarrassment, though the way his hair flares up makes the action futile. 

Malleus

♡ Malleus garners that you’re rather shy when you first cross paths outside of Ramshackle. He’d heard talk about what you were like, as Lilia had taken a particular interest not long after you’d first arrived at the school, having become what one might consider unconventional lunch buddies between breaks. Lilia spoke rather highly of you, though Malleus had yet to place a face to the name until he’d met you on the dorm grounds. He’s no stranger to others shying away from him or being scared in his presence, if anything, it’s the reaction that he expected you to have at the sight of him lingering within the grounds' poorly lit walkways. However, he’s quick to discern that the way you act in his presence isn’t because you’re scared of him, it’s rather just the way you usually act around others. 

♡ This suspicion is confirmed the next time he sees Lilia and brings you up in conversation; at the mention of your name, Lilia’s expression practically brightens up, interested in the young man's apparent newfound interest in you, and doesn’t hesitate to pry into what Mal wants to know. When it comes to your unusually silent demeanor, Lilia’s quick to add that you aren’t always like that - just give it a bit of time for you to warm up to him, and he’s sure that Malleus might well see that there’s more to your personality than what he’s seen. 

♡ Mal’s got no idea what Lilia means, but regardless he still finds himself coming back to Ramshackle - when his usual haunts become occupied he thinks little of finding another secluded location, but this time he finds himself returning. At first, you’d only come outside to check that it's him and not someone out wandering the dorm grounds, but after a handful of meetings, Malleus is intrigued to find you following in stride with him during one of his walks. You don’t give any explanation, nor do you bother with asking any arbitrary questions - which honestly suits Mal just fine - instead, when you cross paths, you just start to walk alongside him for a while. The nighttime strolls have no need for talking if you’re not the speaking sort, and he’s hardly the type to complain about trivial things like that - Malleus is fine simply having the company on what would otherwise be a solitary excursion. 

♡ The longer the two of you spend these nights together, the more he gets tiny flashes of your warmer side. You begin opening up a little more with talking, making small comments about the weather or any upcoming events of note - it’s mundane things, but the small talk is...surprisingly endearing when previously you said nothing more than what you absolutely had to. Perhaps this is what Lilia was on about back then, is what Malleus thinks to himself; either way, it's just another little thing that keeps him coming back. Mal honestly doesn’t see himself having a crush just yet - it’s just that he enjoys the company, and the way you interact with him, shy but unafraid, intrigues him in such a way that keeps him coming back. That’s how he rationalizes it at least.

♡ His first glimpse of your more open personality is by pure chance. Usually at this time of night he would find you wandering somewhere around the Ramshackle grounds, either actively seeking Malleus out or looking for some fresh air to shake off the stress of the morning hours; however when he can’t seem to find you at your usual spots, he resolves to approaching the ramshackle dorm to search for you. Chances are you’re just late or you aren’t interested in accompanying him tonight - either way, he’d rather find that out for himself so he approaches the dorm with little hesitation. All of the lights inside are off barring one, and Malleus finds himself walking around to see if he can make out whatever’s inside, hoping that it’s you.

♡ And he finds you, but the sight he’s greeted with catches him off guard. He can hear the music through the windows, an upbeat melody that Malleus would never quite pin you as a fan of until now. And as he gets closer to the lights he can see you inside the living room, sliding into view. At first, he doesn’t have a clue what you’re doing, moving across the floor in a weird way that’s not unlike shuffling. After a beat though, Malleus soon realizes that you’re dancing, spinning and jumping around the room without a care in the world, belting the words out at the top of your lungs loud enough that he’s sure you’d wake up your dormmates if you had any, though he can hardly make out the lyrics from beyond the glass.

♡ The sight is...oddly mesmerizing, in a way, not because you’re particularly professional, but because of how lively you’re acting. You look so happy, so carefree compared to the shy and silent persona that you usually convey around others - it's a bizarre sight, to say the least, but at the same time it’s a welcome one, and Malleus simply can’t tear his eyes away. He doesn’t know how long you’ve been at it, but it isn’t long before you tire yourself out, whirling around a final time before you finally stumble and topple back onto the floor. You fall so suddenly that Malleus would have moved closer to check that you were okay were it not for your surprised shout filtering off into giggling once you shake off the shock. You’re frazzled, with hair askew and breathing hard, but at the same time you’re visibly giddy, lost in your own little world and grinning like a fool as you run your hands through your hair and rest your head back against the floor.

♡ Malleus has no idea why, but the sight of you smiling, so unburdened by the world outside has him entranced - it’s like you’re practically glowing with energy that he hasn’t seen before, and he’s transfixed to soaking in all the little details, as though wanting to commit this image to memory. He probably would have strayed a moment longer had you not suddenly moved, rolling off of the floor and scrambling onto your feet as you disappear from view, apparently called away by someone - probably Grim - and as the moment’s broken Malleus finally catches himself, cursing himself for getting so distracted.

♡ He ends up completely forgetting what he came over to do, and ends up taking that walk on his own. But he finds his thoughts during that stroll almost completely occupied by the moment, replaying the scene in his mind and thinking back on that vibrant, beaming smile that had lit up your face - the way you looked when you laughed and moved without a care in the world. A part of him is a little sad that you’re not like that when in his presence, but at the same time he finds himself understanding why you keep that side of yourself so closely guarded. Still, that doesn’t stop Malleus from entertaining the idea that sometime in the future he can see that vibrancy face to face, maybe even directed at him - perhaps there’s something he could do to reassure you that you can open up around him...

[fairestwriting]

Sorry for adding onto your (most likely) already busy pile but is it alright if I put in a request?

I was wondering how/what Leona, Azul, Riddle, and the Leech brothers (all separately) would act/do if they have a crush on a hopeless romantic female reader? (Maybe how they’ll try to “woo” them/get them together?) Emphasis on crush, they’re not together yet 😅

In my opinion hopeless romantics are not so much about the perfect dream lover (chivalrous, gentlemanly, etc), but more about finding “the one” that we’re meant to dedicate all our time to. Sure, we do find ourselves more attracted to guys that’ll fit the description of our “perfect”, but generally we’re able to accept just about anyone, so long as they show their sincerity. It doesn’t have to be anything big, it’s the feelings behind them that counts. Small gestures with undeniable feelings behind them are weighed much more heavily than big gestures with little thoughts behind them. Not my words but I feel like this sentence describes it perfectly “Hopeless Romantics are in love with love”. No, they don’t have to sing me poems and proses, gift me flowers at every meeting, or serenade me under the balcony. Though I’ll admit that I had written pages upon pages of love poems on a single crush We are obsessed with the idea of finding someone made just for us, for us to love and be loved in return.

Just me turning to fictional characters to cope with the harsh reality... we really aren’t made for modern society 😔

+ if you like my writing, you can buy me a ko-fi to support me!

Leona Kingscholar

For a while now, Leona really did think he found hopeless romantics stupid. He just doesn’t get why someone would put so much importance in something as vague and fleeting as romantic love.

Then he ends up falling for you.

Needless to say, his crush is something that constantly taunts him. He really feels so confused around you, as if he shouldn’t like you as much as he does. He never thought someone like you would catch his attention, you just seem so... soft, sometimes. Leona is usually straightforward about his interest in people, but when it comes to you, he doesn’t really know how to go about it.

He knows you’re not somebody who would be swayed through his meaningless teasing, that you’re the sort of person who wanted devotion. And it isn’t like he doesn’t want that with you -- Though, he’d rather die than admit this right now -- but he doesn’t know how to express it.

He still wants to show his interest, but for you, he does it differently. He flirts more subtly, teasing you less, and when you’re alone, he almost acts sweet, way easier to fluster. When you’re sweet to him back, he feels so stupidly warm and fuzzy and he loves it hates it.

Falling for a hopeless romantic definitely is the way to break Leona. It might be the only way to catch him off guard romantically, even.

Azul Ashengrotto

Similar to Leona, Azul kind of looks down on the concept of love, but for a slightly different reason. For him, it’s that he doesn’t like being vulnerable, so letting himself have this level of closeness with someone feels just... too troublesome. The chance he’d be hurt is just too much.

So he didn’t do anything about his crush on you, at first, he was trying to just wait it out like he usually does. Then, he hears your opinions and expectations with love, and things change a bit inside his head.

He’ll always be uneasy trying to make moves on people regarding that, but knowing you were so... sincere, it made him feel like trying might be worth it, this time. Ironically, what a dubious guy like him wants is someone genuine, who he didn’t feel the need to play all these games with.

He gets a little bolder with you. Inviting you to Mostro Lounge often, letting you try new recipes that still weren’t in the menu, sometimes taking you out, even buying you small gifts of things you seemed to like. He wants to show you that you’re special to him, while still keeping some subtlelty.

Riddle Rosehearts

Oh, so you’re the same!

Riddle never talks about it, but everytime he thinks about love, it’s in a similar way to you. He wants to find someone who would be his one and only, a girl who would love him just as much as he loved her. He’s endlessly embarrassed by this, sort of convinced that his expectations are just too unrealistic, but he can’t help but dream.

When you two launch into a rare conversation about relationships and he finds out you agree with him... man, if he already had a thing for you before, now he was just smitten.

Sadly Riddle is very awkward when it comes to romance. He feels like you two would make such a good couple together, he’d be the best boyfriend he possibly could be! But he gets shy when it comes to expressing his feelings, and in the end, all he can do is hope you catch on to what it means when he’s trying to spend time with you often...

He shows his affections mostly by... sort of mundane things, like inviting you to the Unbirthday Party and asking you to sit next to him, or offering to help you study, or inviting you over for tea when you have free time, being sure to remember you favorite drink and desserts... if you’re also oblivious, it might be hard to know he likes you. 

He’ll be working hard on a confession plan, though, if you two want the same thing, then he’s more willing than ever to risk it all for a romantic relationship.

Jade Leech

As he starts understanding his own feelings for you, he starts trying to gauge information about your preferences so he could plan how he’d woo you, and that’s how he finds out you’re a hopeless romantic.

He thinks it’s so endearing, honestly. Jade loves to spoil, he wants nothing more than to be the one to give you all this love you crave. He thinks often about how well he’d care for you.

He makes sure to be sort of obvious about his crush, wanting to get his feelings across more than he usually would. Jade is always there for you, happy to help and advise, he’s an acts of service kind of guy so it’s mostly how he’d try to express the fact that he loves you.

It takes a while to get an actual confession out of him though. He knows you have high expectations and has sworn he’d meet all of them. Even if you’ve told him you didn’t put that much weight on grand gestures, he did want to make his confession something impressive, if only subjectively. He wants to make sure everything is meaningful, and shows through how much attention he’d been paying to you for a while now.

“Hopeless romantic” might be part of his type, honestly, Jade is a guy who lives for this mutual devotion you strive for.

Floyd Leech

A hopeless romantic and Floyd would be... a complicated pair. 

Floyd is very casual about love, you see. The second he knows he’s fallen for you is the second he decides you’re his, and he’s yours, and that’s it. He’s casual with his affection and doesn’t mind things like relationship labels at all, he doesn’t even see the need for an actual confession, really.

So he’ll be so affectionate with you, he’s constantly showering you in love. But... he’s so casual about it, his feelings might not get through completely to you. You might not realize he’s crushing on you at all, because of how chummy he acts with everybody else.

It’s a strange situation, because you’ll be talking about how wonderful you think it’d be if you found your one and only, and Floyd will be right there wondering why you’re saying things like that when he’s right here, he’s your one and only, right? Are you telling him you just haven’t noticed that he loves you?

He’s confused when you talk about love, if you were all about sincere gestures why aren’t you catching on to his feelings? He’ll actually blurt that out one time, probably. Floyd isn’t one to keep quiet about his crushes for too long.

Once you understand where he’s coming from with all the affection, he might actually be a good partner for you. He loves you so, so, so much, and it shows! Just in, you know, kinda odd ways sometimes.

[kyleys-empty-mind-shit]

confessions

hol’ up . . . this is our vv first fic together. bye-

inspo: “Isn’t it obvious? I’m in love with you?”

genre(s): angst; fluff

fandom: the hunger games

rating: g・t・r

rated t for swearing

word count: 2.6k

warning(s): two oblivious dumbasses in love; probably unedited 

things to know: y/n (your name) ⟢ e/c (your eye colour) ⟢ y/l/n (your last name)

Peeta Mellark.

He was your constant; your rock. You could rely on him for anything and everything.

He was the steadiest thing you’d had in your life for a long time now, but as he took your wrist and led you upstairs away from the party, you couldn’t help but feel the anger bubble up in your chest.

“Peeta, what—”

“Why?” he nearly shouts. Peeta is mild mannered. He’s many things, actually; polite, charming, and personable, but angry was not one of them. It didn’t scare you like you’d always expected it to, but rather frustrated you.

“Why what, Peeta?” you hiss back.

He looks at you as if you had just grown two heads, his brows knit together in disbelief.

“You’re joking,” he breathes. You shake your head, not understanding what he is trying to get at. You defensively cross your arms, knowing the juvenile element would annoy him, but having nothing to do with your hands increases your already anxious state.

“That guy,”

“That guy?”

“Yes, y/n, yes. That guy that was just a little too friendly with you? So close to you that he was practically crawling under your goddamn skin? What were you thinking?”

You laugh at him, unable to contain it. “I can handle myself perfectly fine. Why are you being such an ass?” you all but shout at him. “It’s none of your business anyway?”

“Hm, let’s see y/n, he could’ve, god, I don’t know, taken advantage of you?”

You scoff, unable to handle his cliché statement.

He brings his hands up and pushes his hair back, looking up at the ceiling as he exhales heavily through his nose. You squint at him, unable to read the emotions on his face.

“What is up with you?” you whisper, not quite sure if he was able to hear. Your eyes narrow, unsure of what his next words might be.

“For someone so smart, you can be so goddamn oblivious sometimes, y/l/s.”

“Oh my god, what is with all the stupid riddles tonight? I can’t read your mind! You can’t expect me to just know things,” you exasperate, throwing your hands out in front of you. “For someone who’s supposed to be good at communication, you’re doing a pretty shitty job of displaying it,” you spit, throwing his words right back at him.

“Fine,” he hisses, starting to move towards you.

You cock your eyebrow at him, your bodies coming closer, nearly closing the gap.

“Fine?” you question.

“Yeah.” he huffs out, repeating the word with an heir of finality, “yeah.” His breath warms your face, the scent of vodka invading your senses.

Your cheeks heat up, suddenly very aware of his proximity. You watch his adam's apple bob as he swallows thickly. He can’t meet your eyes, his heart hammering against his chest so loud that it feels as though you can hear it. His head drops along with his gaze, studying the floor before chancing a glance at you. Peeta lets go of a breathy laugh as words tumble out of his mouth.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he breathes, his words choked, hardly audible, him now looking you right in the eyes. Your stomach does a flip once, unsure of his next words. Blue eyes stare at your e/c ones that are clouded in confusion. You can feel his frustration start to build as he takes a step back from you, his voice rising and hands coming from his sides.

“I’m in love with you,” he bursts out.

Oh my god.

You stare at him in shock, his proclamation stunning you. You blink once, twice, as his words echoing through your head.

His hazel eyes bore into your e/c ones, willing you to say something, anything, to let him know you heard him. But yet you stand there, unable to find the words.

Nothing is coming out.

Say something, you beg yourself, wanting to scream out an answer, yet your mouth continues to remain shut. You swallow hard, your tongue feeling like sandpaper. How could you be so oblivious to his feelings? You and him have known each other since childhood, yet there you are, standing only inches away from him, the truth finally known.

The look in his eyes is absolutely heart-wrenching; if you hadn’t just heard him, you’d have thought he had lost his best friend. In a way, you guess, he had.

Peeta just shakes his head softly, shrugging his shoulders in such a way that makes you want to reach out and take his hand. His dark waves fall over his eyes and he turns around, facing the door.

“I—” you begin, but you know it’s too late.

“Just, um, forget it, y/n,” his voice soft, small, “I’ll see you in environmental studies.”

He opens the door and steps out into the hallway, closing the door behind him. You want to scream, to tell him to come back.  

“Dammit!” you exclaim, throwing your red solo cup as hard as you can at the wall. The contents spill all over, some of the liquid splashing on you but you can’t bring yourself to care.

You reach to pull at your loosely braided hair, a habit of yours that came out whenever you were experiencing an excess of negative emotions, before you realize where you are. You harshly rub your eyes with the heels of your hands as you remind yourself to breathe.

In, out . . . In, out.

“Get it together,” you tell yourself, taking one last deep breath. “Okay.”

You turn to head back downstairs to the party, nothing on your mind except finding Peeta and setting everything straight, hoping at this point that that was even a possibility anymore.

God, you hated this part. You hated having to make up. Saying sorry was never your strong suit, your pride always getting in the way. But this? This was not a matter of pride. This was about finally coming to terms with the truth that you so desperately tried to avoid for years.

You almost trip as you descend the stairs, looking everywhere for Peeta but unable to find him anywhere in the crowd.

Spotting a head of wavy bronze hair by the water cooler, you rush over to your english lit classmate, who is also a friend of Peeta’s; Finnick Odair.

“Hey Finnick,” you say once you reach him, trying to keep your voice even. He greets you with his signature smirk before bringing his cup to his lips and taking a sip.

“Ah, y/n, having a good time I trust?”

“Trying to,” you grumble. Finnick gives you a quizzical look before you proceed; “Have you seen Peeta?” You can’t help but notice the slight crack in your voice when you say his name.

“Yeah,” he confirms, “I saw him leave a few minutes ago. Seemed pretty upset.”

“Yeah, wonder why,” you mutter bitterly, knowing he wouldn’t hear your words above the music.

You bite your lip, weighing the option of asking Finnick to help you find Peeta. Half of you wanted to go and find him yourself, your need to get the weight off your chest as quickly as possible, the other half of you wanting to stall for as long as you could.

“Could you text him? Ask him where he is?”

“Why can’t you?”

You fight the urge to roll your eyes, your cheeks burning. “Because, I—”

“Wait,” Finnick’s smile widens. “Wait, are you the reason he’s upset?”

Your silence is enough for him. His dopey smile falters for a moment, an emotion that you could only define as realization sweeping over his face. He shakes his head softly, pulling his phone from the pocket of his hoodie and opening his texts. His thumbs glide swiftly across the screen as he compiles a message to send to Peeta.

You can’t have been standing there for more than a minute when his phone dings. Finnick flashes you the screen.

From: Pita Bread

I’m fine... at the pond.

“Thank you, Finnick, really,” you breathe.

He just nods, taking another sip of his drink.

You rush out of the frat house the party was being held in, running across the street to Panem University’s main campus, willing your legs to go faster.

The pond was at the northern end of campus, smack in the middle of Tribute Hall and the Coriolanus Snow Study Center. You see a silhouette sitting on one of the few stone benches surrounding the body of tranquil water, tossing handfuls of what you can only assume is trail mix at the ducks that liked to take up at the pond.

You slow down, bringing your footfalls to a trot, then silently padding your way over the grass towards him. Your chest is heaving from the exertion as you try to make your breaths even.

“Peeta,” You call out, your voice void of any venom as you stalk towards the boy. You’re almost inclined to slap him because of how he acted. No rational person could expect someone to give them an answer to a question as heavily weighed as that right away.

He stands up once you reach him, refusing to look you in the eyes. For a fleeting moment, you catch the grief-stricken look in his usually bright eyes and it’s enough to keep you from raising your hand at him.

“Why did you leave like that?” you breathe out. He shrugs a shoulder with almost casual indifference. “Peeta.” you nearly plead, looking at him as your eyebrows knit together.

“What did you expect me to do?” he says feebly.

You look up at the night sky, inhaling deeply as you hurriedly send off a prayer to whatever higher power that you can say everything you want to say to him, in the way you want to say it.

In a way that says something to him. Means something.

The stars seem to twinkle brighter, almost like they received your message. God, this is so hard.

Peeta is still looking anywhere but at you, his focus now on the ducks idling in the water.

“You could have waited for me,” you say. “I mean, come on! That was… big. A big thing to drop on me,” you add, “so of course I was shocked. But if you had just waited for me . . .”

“What?” he snorts, finally looking you in the eyes. “What would you have said that couldn’t have possibly made me feel like more of a fool than I already was? What—”

“I love you,” you blurt.

Here it goes.

“And not in a ‘you’ve always been there for me, so I’m kind of indebted to you’ kind of way but in a way that’s like, ‘I want to do cheesy stuff with you because I know it will make you smile.’ That’s like, I would do anything, anything to prove to you that I’m worthy of your love. Peeta, you’ve seen everything I was and everything I am, and it just— I just couldn’t believe when you said that . . . But I— I trust you with everything in me and it frightens me, because you know I’ve been hurt before, but I can’t deny that everything feels right when I’m with you. I just. I want another chance. If, if you’ll let me.” You breath the words out, hardly anything but air coming out.  

“Y/n, breathe.”

“Right,” you exhale, your mind swirling around, making vertigo seem like a walk in the park.

“You’re not . . . unworthy of love,” Peeta begins but he stops, trying to figure out his words. “What Cato did to you, it doesn’t mean you’re undeserving of love. He’s.. an asshole, who’s going to get what’s coming to him. I— I’m sorry for dropping it on you like that, but seeing you with that guy, he just reminded me so much of Cato, and it made me so mad because I didn’t want you to go through that again, and I.. couldn’t help but think it was my final chance to tell you how I felt.”

“Final chance?”

“Y/n, I’ve loved you since like year six.”

“Peeta, you absolute dumbass!” you exclaim, quickly going to cover your mouth as your own words shock even yourself. “I’m sorry. It’s just . . . wow,” a laugh nearly escapes your lips. “We’re both oblivious fools, huh?”

Peeta’s brows furrow in confusion, as you let out a soft chuckle. His head is tilted slightly to the side, his soft curls falling into his blue eyes. This moment is one you’ll always remember, you think to yourself, already trying to commit it to memory. The way the trees slightly sway from the late summer breeze, the moonlight reflecting off the water; best of all, the glint in Peeta’s eye when your gazes meet. It’s so cheesy, really, but you couldn’t care less. You’ve played it over and over in your head for years, different scenarios always being formulated, but nothing you could have ever dreamt of could compare to this moment.

“I’ve loved you since year seven,” you tell him, every word of it true. “I can’t believe it took us both this long. Could have avoided the whole Cato fiasco of year twelve, I suppose, if we had just . . . had the gall to tell each other back then, I guess,” you say, the last sentence mumbled.

“Yeah.” Peeta laughs, a genuine deep laugh that reaches his eyes. It rouses the butterflies that have been in the pit of your stomach, the fluttering making you nervous as you watch him scratch the base of his neck almost embarrassedly.

“So,” you say, dragging the ‘o’ sound. “Pretty sure this is the part where most people would kiss.”

“Do you want to kiss me?”

“No, not you, Peeta. I was talking to the duck behind you,” You frown, unable to contain the scoff that passes your lips. “Yes.. yes, I want to kiss you,” you breathe, your pulse hammering.

You step forward, your hands reaching up, gliding against his cheeks, his hands resting on your waist. In a moment of bravery, you place your lips against his. They’re soft, and he tastes like cedar and bread, and it’s like coming home, being in his arms as his lips move against yours, the breeze chilling your skin but his warming you.

There are no words spoken between the two of you as you both pull away. His eyes are still closed, his long eyelashes resting against the tops of his cheeks; the corners of his mouth are pulled up slightly.

God, he’s beautiful. So beautiful. That word is usually reserved for sceneries, sunsets or pretty dresses, but in this moment, you can’t tear your eyes away from him.

“Finally!” someone shouts, causing the both of you to jump back from each other, acting like two first years getting caught passing notes in class. You look around before your eyes land on Johanna Mason, leaning against the statue of the university founder Alma Coin that’s off to the left of the entrance of the study center. Finnick is with her, his signature smirk gracing his elegant features once more. “We were wondering when you two would have the balls to tell each other how you felt.”

“It seems everyone knew but you two,” Finnick adds with a deep chuckle.

“Alright, Finny, I think we should leave the two lovebirds alone.” Johanna says, turning away. “Be safe, you two!”

“If you need anything,” Finnick winks at Peeta. “You know where to reach me.”  

You laugh softly, leaning your head against Peeta’s chest. His arms wrap around you, encasing you in him. His cheeks rests on the top of your head, his breaths evening out as you listen to his steady heart beat.

This is it. This is home.

[lesbianrobin]

What do you think are the good and bad aspects of each season of ST?

ok 1. thank u for this question omg and 2. this answer may or may not be a mess, but either way it’s long (almost 7k words lmao) bc i’m insane, which is why it’s under a cut. it’s still by no means an exhaustive list but these are the things that just kinda came to mind.

also i realize you asked “good and bad” and i wrote this whole post as “strengths and weaknesses” which um. is not Exactly what you asked. but close enough <3 i also ended up including a lot of au ideas ksjdckmn bc like i personally hate when people say a certain plot or whatever was bad without suggesting anything that could have improved it yknow so whenever possible i tried to provide Some idea for fixing the issues i had with the show!!

season 1

strengths (this is probably gonna be the longest section but that’s because a lot of these strengths also apply to s2/s3 by default)

nostalgia and authenticity

this one’s pretty simple, but i think that season one did a good job of blending classic eighties media homages (such as the many many e.t./el parallels) with explicit pop culture references (such as mike’s yoda impression, mentions of the x-men, etc) to create a show that’s essentially dripping in early eighties nostalgia without it feeling too forced. before st, i think the most popular depiction of the eighties in mainstream media was that overly exaggerated neon scrunchie aesthetic from the mid to late eighties, and it was usually done in a comedic sense first and foremost. st took a different approach, instead focusing on the early eighties, a time that’s often ignored in favor of going either Full Seventies or Full Eighties, and i think that this choice likely resonated with adults who lived through the eighties and hadn’t yet seen something that felt quite so accurate to their own adolescence. a lot of young people who watched st were totally unfamiliar with this period of time, unfamiliar with books/movies like “stand by me” that st borrows from heavily, and i think st lent more seriousness to the eighties than most young people had experienced so far, and this was refreshing and interesting!

the use of dnd in the show is also quite genius in a way i’m not sure i can articulate?? it isn’t something Everyone would have played at the time, but it’s something that existed within a different context back in the eighties than it does today, and it really lent a sort of authenticity to the naming of the show’s sci-fi elements. like, of course these kids would name parallel dimensions and monsters and superpowers after these similar things in their favorite game! it just feels so real and it grounds st in our reality moreso than you might expect from the typical sci-fi or horror universe.

utilization of existing tropes

almost every single character in st clearly originates from some popular trope. the plot itself is riddled with classic eighties movie tropes. almost every single element of stranger things can be clearly traced back to some iconic eighties film or just to, like, overused horror/sci-fi/mystery/coming-of-age movie tropes in general. this might sound like a bad thing, but it really works in st’s favor! starting off with familiar tropes gives st the ability to easily create a lot of complexity and make a big impact by selectively deviating from those familiar, comfortable tropes!! while el’s whole plot, hopper’s character, etc, are all examples of this in action, i think the steve/nancy/jonathan plot is the greatest example. even from the start, the fact that good girl barb dies while nancy is off having sex with her asshole boyfriend is an incredibly thorough inversion of the most well-known horror movie trope in the book. how often do girls in horror movies have sex for the first time, walk home alone in the dark of night, and live to tell the tale? nancy and jonathan’s dynamic at first glance is a sort of classic “good girl meets boy from the wrong side of the tracks, discovers he’s actually got a heart of gold” thing, but instead of following this well-trodden path, st diverged. nancy is brash, impulsive, and at times downright insensitive. jonathan is angry, bitter, and actually a bit of a creep at first. while they have the capacity to emotionally connect and support one another, they can also bring out each other’s darker side, which is not what we’ve come to expect from that initial tropey dynamic.

in addition, steve, the popular rich asshole boyfriend, is actually... a human being! unlike the cartoonishly evil jocks that we’ve come to expect (especially from eighties movies), steve has complexity. despite his initial immaturity and selfishness, he’s also kind to barb, he backs off when nancy says no, he’s gentle and sweet when they sleep together, his first big Dick Move of the season is in defense of nancy, he realizes the error of his ways after the fight and does what he can to fix it, he’s worried about nancy when he sees that she’s hurt at jonathan’s house, and to top it all off, he ends up saving both nancy and jonathan’s lives when he could have just walked away, and the three of them all work together to fight the demogorgon. like... steve began as the most stereotypical character of all time, and by the end of the season, he had one of the most compelling and unique arcs among the whole cast!

finally, at the very end of the season, instead of dumping steve for jonathan as expected, nancy ends up getting back together with steve, and they’re both on friendly terms with jonathan. i realize that i just kinda. summarized s1. but my POINT is that i don’t think the dynamics between the monster hunting trio would be nearly as fun and interesting had the characters of nancy, steve, and jonathan not been set up to follow certain paths that we already had charted in our own heads. like, within the first couple episodes of s1, it’s pretty obvious that nancy and steve are gonna break up, nancy will get with jonathan, and steve will either die or go full evil or just never be seen again. like, duh! you’ve seen this story a million times! you know that’s how it’s gonna go! so, when the story DOESN’T go that way, the impact of each character’s arc and the relationship dynamics become stronger due to their unexpected complexity and authenticity. 

distinct plotlines separated by age group

this one’s rather obvious, but the way that the adults in s1 were essentially in a conspiracy thriller while the teens were in a horror flick and the kids were in a sci fi power-of-friendship story and all three converged at the end... wow. brilliant showstopping etc. not only was it just really well done and unique, it also gave stranger things near-universal appeal. like, there’s genuinely something for pretty much everyone in season one!

casting

obviously this applies to every season sorta by default, but when i think about what made season one So successful, i always think about the cast, and not just winona ryder. yes, she’s absolutely amazing in the show and it’s very doubtful that st would be as big as it is today without her name being attached to it from the start!! however, i think the greatest determining factor in st’s success is the casting of the kids, particularly millie bobby brown. like... el is just absolutely incredible. she’s amazing. this has all been said many times before so i won’t harp on it, but millie and the other kids are all So talented and charismatic and i think their casting has been instrumental to the show’s success.

strong visuals

the way that multicolored christmas lights which have been around for decades are now kinda like. a Stranger Things thing. jesus christ. those lights are probably the biggest stroke of stylistic genius on the show.

atmosphere and setting

this is probably like. the least important one here for me sdjncdsc because i think s2 and s3 both had like Even Better atmospheres and shit but s1 was good too and it laid the groundwork!! i know a lot of people would have preferred st be set somewhere more Spooky with lots of fog or giant forests or whatnot, and while i do enjoy thinking about alternate st settings and how they might alter the vibe, i think hawkins indiana was a good choice. as the duffers have said, placing stranger things in a fictional town allows them more flexibility than if they’d gone with their original plan of using montauk, new york. besides that, i think the plainness and like... flatness... of small-town indiana just Works. like, the fact that hawkins is never really scary on the surface is a big part of the horror in the lab’s actions and their impact. hawkins isn’t somewhere that people just disappear all the time. it isn’t somewhere known for strange occurrences (prior to s1, that is). it isn’t somewhere shrouded in mist and secrecy. hawkins on its surface seems like the sort of place with no secrets and nothing to fear, and that’s the point! the lab is out in the open! it’s right there! everything is so close to the surface, yet so far out of the public eye, and i think that really works.

the byers family’s whole deal (specifically the joyce/jonathan dynamic)

this is going here bc i miss it so bad in s2 and s3. i’m not one of those people who believe The Byers Are The Whole Point of the show, because st is and always has been an ensemble, and el, hopper, and the wheelers are just as instrumental to the plot as the byers, but ANYWAY, i do think the byers were one of the most interesting aspects of s1. joyce’s difficulties with supporting her sons as a poor and (implied mentally ill) single mother, jonathan’s stress as a result of having to earn money, care for his brother, and keep the house in order when his mother is unable to do so, and the resulting tension between them when will’s disappearance and supposed “death” brings the situation to a tipping point? holy shit! it’s so good! that argument after they see will’s “body” is just incredible and gut-wrenching. their relationship feels so real and messy and i think it’s just... good. also winona ryder REALLY acted her heart out and she carried a lot of s1 which i think people often forget to mention so i’m saying it here.

weaknesses

pacing/timing

ok so pacing is probably going to go in each season’s weaknesses, to be honest, because i think they all had a blend of some good and some bad pacing. good pacing is invisible pacing, though, so i probably won’t be putting it in any of the strengths sections and will only be focusing on it in the weaknesses. i’m also probably not going to talk about weird day/night cycle things, just because i don’t want to get nitpicky on timelines because that would require going back and rewatching things to double check timing which i don’t wanna do at the moment lmao. anyway, when i think of bad pacing in season one, i primarily think of two things: nancy’s little trip into the upside down and subsequent sleepover with jonathan, and the sort of staggered nature of the climax in the final episode. the latter is simple so i’ll explain it first: while i understand that each group’s respective climax is like part of a chain reaction and that’s why each big moment happens separately and at different times, i think that st is strongest when the whole group is together, and i think that makes the stakes feel higher too, so i’m not In Love with the way s1 separated everyone and gave each group their own climax. 

okay, now on to the nancy/upside down thing! idk if i’ve ever talked about it before, but i think the worst decision made in s1 by far is the inclusion of nancy’s brief trip into the upside down, wherein she dives headfirst into another dimension with absolutely no backup, watches the demogorgon chow down, freaks out and runs around for a minute, and then leaves. like... what the fuck? even putting aside what an idiotic decision this was (because i do think nancy’s tendency to rush into things headfirst is an intentional and consistent character trait), it just kind of destroys any remaining suspense surrounding the demogorgon and the upside down, and it accomplishes basically nothing besides scaring nancy enough to have jonathan sleep over, which is lame. i will break it down.

like, first of all, nancy just getting to waltz in and out of the upside down and get a good, long look at the demogorgon makes the entire thing far less mysterious, and by extension far less scary. like... before this scene, we the audience haven’t got a good look at the demogorgon. we’ve seen its silhouette briefly and we’ve seen a blurry picture of it, but nothing more, and i think that is far more effective at building fear than this jaunt nancy goes on which gives us a full view of the thing and makes it into less of a horrifying nightmare and into more of a humanoid animal. like, maybe this is just me, but i found the demogorgon far less intimidating after that scene than before. it also lets nancy and jonathan know For Sure that they’re right without providing any crucial information that they need to fight the demogorgon (aka it’s unnecessary to the plot), which removes a very compelling story element (the faith nancy and jonathan need to have in order to keep going against a vague and poorly understood enemy, the doubt they might have about each other and their own sanity, the possibility that they might be wrong, the trust they need to have in each other) a bit earlier in the plot than i believe is ideal. at the end of episode 5, nancy goes into the upside down and jonathan doesn’t know where she is and it’s intense!!! you’re thinking like, oh fuck, not only is nancy missing and fighting for her life now too, jonathan might be implicated in her disappearance!! some people already think he’s the one who killed will and people know that he took creepy pictures of barb and nancy before they both disappeared, maybe this is gonna cause some serious problems for him!! maybe nancy will find will in the upside down and she’ll help him survive!! fuck, maybe she’ll actually die!! this is huge!! and then episode 6 starts and they’re immediately like oh nevermind jonathan found the tree and got nancy out and she’s fine. my point with all of this is that nancy entering the upside down could have done A Lot in the grand scheme of the plot, but all it did was just... get jonathan to sleep over so he and nancy could have some awkward romance moments and steve could see them together and pick a fight. which could have honestly happened at Any point while nancy and jonathan were working together to hunt down the demogorgon, without ruining the demogorgon’s and the upside down’s mystique. so yeah <3

weird behavior and dumbass decisions that make no sense (aka the whole camera thing)

gonna go off about the teen plot again sorry but: why was nancy so unbothered and quick to forgive jonathan for taking those pictures? girl what the fuck are you doing? why wasn’t that a bigger deal? why was jonathan’s motivation for doing it so weak and why did they just kind of forget about the whole thing? why did nancy TRACK HIM DOWN AT THE FUNERAL HOME while he was PICKING OUT HIS BABY BROTHER’S CASKET to be like hey can you tell me what’s in this creepshot you took? it’s insane. it’s so insane. i mean i think the funeral home thing is hilarious and i don’t mind it being in the show necessarily but like my point here is that i think a lot of character decisions in s1 just kind of.. happened because they Needed to happen for the plot. like, they wrote this plot that required jonathan to be secretly taking pictures of the party and required him and nancy to work together after seeing something odd in the pictures, but they didn’t like... really consider what that event would mean for their characterization and relationship. the whole thing was sort of just dropped with minimal discussion and i think it did both nancy and jonathan’s characters a disservice and was really mishandled.

lighting and saturation/color grading

i am literally begging horror/sci-fi shows to let me see shit. i GET IT okay i understand that when you’re doing cgi effects it helps to keep the lights down and i’m not mad at any of the lighting in the demogorgon/upside down scenes!! i’m really not i think the demogorgon scenes in s1 all look sick!! but like... dude. the colors. where are they. why does everyone look like a vampire. i know blah blah this was probably an intentional stylistic choice intended to mimic film at the time blah blah but dude a lot of old movies are very colorful!! please just let people have color in their faces so everyone doesn’t look like a sheet of paper!!! also i’m white and not a professional lighting designer so yknow grain of salt but i think lucas was kinda poorly served by the lighting sometimes in s1. not Hugely so, not to the degree that i’ve seen poc be poorly served by lighting in other shows, but there were some times where it felt kinda like the lighting setup was just not designed with darker skin in mind. 

horror

i just personally don’t find s1 very scary like... ever. i don’t think they were really Trying to be extremely scary yknow so i’m not counting this as a big deal, but i do think that each season has improved on the horror aspects. i think s1′s horror lies more in the mystery and the unknown than in what’s seen onscreen, and as i’ve said already, i think s1 kind of fumbled that suspense ball.

season 2

strengths

the possession plot

i’ll warn u rn this whole s2 strengths section is probably gonna be really short bc idk like. how much there is to really say i feel like it’s all so self-explanatory skjncmn. anyway yeah the possession plot!! eerie as fuck, and noah OWNED. so did winona tbh and finn and sean etc but like. noah. wow! i think the possession plot helped the show maintain a good amount of tension and suspense throughout the season, and a lot of scenes with possessed!will are flatout disturbing to watch. in a good way. i think the mindflayer and will’s possession were far more genuinely frightening than s1′s demogorgon, and it provided a new layer of depth and intrigue to the antagonist besides just “bad monster want eat people.”

tone and aesthetics

halloween season... literally halloween season. halloween season. that is all.

actually i will elaborate a bit and just say that i think s2 did a good job of having the sort of foreboding vibe that s1 was often going for, but without the annoying darkness and desaturation. so points for that.

also st2 is like one of the best Autumn pieces of media ever like it just. like steve and dustin on those train tracks with the fallen leaves all around them.... god. god the vibes are unparalleled. all of the halloween stuff also really contributes to the nostalgia st runs on yknow it makes you think about childhood and trick-or-treating and you kind of get transported like damn... i remember going to the rich neighborhoods to score the good candy..... idk i just think the whole thing is incredibly effective. 

“babysitter” steve

by sending nancy and jonathan off together, the show created a problem: what to do with steve? this problem pushed them to create the unconventional and unexpected duo of steve and dustin, and the world is so much brighter for it. seriously though we all know steve and dustin are great i don’t need to argue that point. all i’ll add is that i think allowing steve to grow in this way, serving as a mentor figure and becoming genuine friends with someone so unexpected, really took the originality of his character to the next level. no longer content just to defy his archetype, in s2 steve begins branching out in ways that never would have been considered in s1, creating an incredibly complex and interesting person from the sort of character that most shows would have simply written out or killed off for convenience’s sake. and it works and steve and dustin are such a joy to watch and i love them. <3

the lucas/max plot

so first of all max mayfield is the most perfect baby girl on god’s green earth and idk what i would do without her but anyway. i think lumax is the best romantic relationship in the show and not just because they’re the only ones with like an age-appropriate approach to the whole thing. it’s also because their relationship accomplishes more than just putting the two of them in a relationship!! lucas and max spending time together motivates billy to do his evil shit, providing more conflict in the narrative, and it also helps establish max as part of the group in a relatively natural way while giving both her and lucas a great subplot. lucas (and dustin) has a crush on the new girl, they start spending some time together, and lucas ends up needing to decide whether he’ll keep the secret of the upside down and lose her, or risk both of their lives by telling her the truth. that’s a pretty big, character-defining decision that he gets to make!! max has to choose whether to trust this boy she barely knows and endanger herself, or to walk away and stay safe, yet another great character-defining choice that also contributes to the sense we get as an audience of max as somebody who’s incredibly lonely and desperate for love and connection. this post is way too long already and i have a ton more to say so i’ll stop now but yeah i think lumax really Works in the show without ever distracting or detracting from the overall plot and narrative in the way that some other ships (coughjancycough) often do.

balance between the normal and abnormal

s2 i think did a pretty solid job of melding daily life with more fantastical sci-fi horror elements. i enjoyed seeing so much of the kids at school in the first few episodes!! you really get a strong sense of where they’re at in life, what their daily lives are like, and you get a sort of gradual shift into madness that makes everything feel more grounded than i think it would if they had just leapt straight into the horror shit, yknow? 

the el and hopper dynamic

go back and rewatch s2 and tell me that’s not one of the most moving portrayals of parenthood and trauma and growing up that you’ve ever seen. you can’t. or well you can but i won’t listen. i really can’t imagine stranger things without el and hopper’s relationship, and it’s my absolute favorite part of s2. their whole dynamic is so beautiful and complex, and gives them each amazing personal arcs in addition! the black hole scene is literally one of the show’s greatest moments of all time. any given scene between the two of them in s2 is just guaranteed to be heartwarming as well as heartbreaking, and i think that makes for an incredible show.

weaknesses

flashbacks

okay this applies to Every season they All have too many flashbacks but in s2 specifically... please stop showing me shit from season one. i watched it. i know what happened. you don’t need to spoon feed everything to me!! flashbacks can be a really helpful way of delivering information to an audience, but st has a bad habit of not only being kinda demeaning in how often they flash back to shit that the audience already knows, but they also have a bad habit of using flashbacks almost as a crutch to avoid having to deliver information subtly and naturally. 

you know i gotta say it... the lost sister

this is so sad. the lost sister really is like a great concept for an st episode, and i’m not mad about the idea of st taking a break from the normal action to focus on one story for a full episode, but the execution of it was just dreadful. kali and her crew feel very over-the-top and stereotypical, and its placement in the season totally kills the tension and excitement that was built in “the spy.” 

i think the lost sister honestly could have gone over far better, even with the stereotypical fake-feeling gang kali has, if they had just swapped it with “the spy” like... ok, the end of episode five has el setting off to find kali and will collapsing on the ground seizing. right? imagine if, instead of immediately following will to the lab, we’d followed el. we don’t know what’s happening with will, but it’s a very simple cliffhanger that leaves us on edge without making us feel cheated by the show cutting away. we follow el on her little journey, everything happens much the same as canon, and then at the end, el sees hopper in scrubs. she sees mike, screaming, sees that they’re both in danger. holy shit!!! what the fuck!!! what’s happened since we left will seizing on the ground??? we feel el’s fear and confusion. she decides to go home. and then... boom. “the lost sister” is over. now, we rewind, right back to will seizing on the ground, and “the spy” commences. we learn how they got into the danger that el saw in the end of “the lost sister,” and we sit on the edge of our seats all through “the spy” and “the mind flayer,” KNOWING that el is on her way back to save them but not knowing when she’ll arrive!! idk i don’t think that would have necessarily saved lost sister but i think it may have alleviated some of the issues that i and many others have with it, timing-wise.

the nancy/jonathan sidequest

once again, the idea of nancy going off on her own little mission to find justice for barb after s1 is like. amazing. genuinely i love that plot for her and i can’t imagine anything better for her to have focused on in s2. unfortunately though i think her and jonathan’s little trip to see murray was just kind of... lame. the whole thing just felt like an excuse to get the two of them alone together, yknow? which is fine i guess people contrive all sorts of situations to get characters alone together for romance reasons but in this case i think it just really doesn’t work for me because of what it’s juxtaposed with. like, will is POSSESSED, and jonathan is just off on a mini road trip and sleeping with his bestie, and jonathan never seems to communicate to joyce/will that he left town, and joyce never like... thinks to tell him that will is like sick and fucked up and they’re looking at him in the lab??? like it’s so weird i know joyce always forgets about jonathan when shit’s happening with will but jfc you’d think at some point in that like... 72-ish-hour period where jonathan was out of town she would have thought about him. like at least once. maybe i’m forgetting something and she mentioned him sometime and i missed it but even still, i hate the juxtaposition of nancy and jonathan just like cheers-ing at murray’s place and sleeping together and whatnot while everyone else is dealing with possession or trying to hunt down dart yknow? it feels really boring in comparison and i think it could have been done far better. like it was SO insanely easy for them to get into the lab and get an admission of guilt and escape with it!! i think it might have been a lot more engaging if maybe someone from the lab tailed them to murray’s place and they had to like lose the tail and race to get the recording out to as many news outlets as possible before they got caught, or something like that. the tension in their plotline is completely resolved in episode four!! episodes five and six are just them screwing around and addressing envelopes. while there were a lot of strong ideas in this plotline (i really enjoy nancy going out of her way to get justice, and the fact that they have to water down the story to make it believable), i just think the focus on nancy and jonathan getting together hindered it a lot without adding a ton to the plot or their individual characters.

season 3

strengths

starcourt mall as a setting

while i don’t think the mall was utilized quite to its full potential (something i could make a separate post about if anyone’s interested), i do think that starcourt was a genius addition to the series. i’ve said this before, but building a new mall is a literal Perfect in-universe justification for a significant leap forward in fashion and aesthetics, and it provides a great location for characters to just... be characters. idk how else to articulate this i just think that the mall is a great setting to let people interact with each other and to bring people together who may not have been otherwise (i.e. scoops troop). not to mention how sick it was to see the mall get wrecked toward the end kdjncdkm like they were able to do so much more with the mall in terms of like The Finale than they could with just the byers house or the cabin or the school or even the lab. i love all the back tunnels they run through it’s such a fun like acknowledgement of how this glitzy eighties mall is just a real place where employees get shipments and take out the trash and shit idk it’s all about the perfect facade and what’s hidden what’s underneath what’s hiding in plain sight etc etc i’m just saying words now. anyway. 

willingness to experiment and go against expectations

gay robin. neon aesthetics. giant fucking meat monster. i know some people hate both the neon and the meat monster but i personally think they were kind of amazing and like. yknow regardless of personal tastes i think it’s impossible to deny that s3 had a lot of incredible visuals, and they’re all visuals that just wouldn’t have been possible if the show were too afraid to stray from its s1 aesthetic. robin being canonically gay (and her resulting friendship with steve) and the season’s striking visuals are two things that most everyone (besides like homophobes skjncdknm) can agree were great, right? and they were both departures from where the show began and what we all expected!! so yeah i think while some of the experimentation in s3 wasn’t ideal it was also that experimentation that allowed for some of the season’s strongest elements to come about.

the hospital sequence (and the season’s action/horror scenes in general)

this one is fairly self-explanatory. while they may have underutilized the “body snatching” element of the season, the hospital sequence with nancy and jonathan fighting off their possessed bosses did an amazing job of building tension and creating a genuine sense of really intense and personal danger.

in general i think that s3 melded action and horror rather well, particularly in the sauna test, the hospital, and when the mindflayer busts through the roof of hop’s cabin. horror can come from many things, and in this case, st elicited horror largely from the feeling of helplessness, and it was really effective for me personally. i think it worked better for me than s1′s brand of horror because it doesn’t rely so much on a lack of knowledge or a sense of suspense that inevitable disappears upon a second viewing.

the body horror we got in s3 was also really fun! that’s it i just think all the blood and guts and slime were fun and i would like more of them. once again, the impacts of body horror are less dependent upon the viewer being in the dark or unsure as to what’s happening, and as such i think it tends to be a little more effective at eliciting reaction in the long term.

timing and mechanics of the battle of starcourt/finale

i think the battle of starcourt is just fucking awesome, and beyond that personal opinion, i think it’s the most high-stakes and intense finale of all three seasons, and this is for two main reasons! 1. el is out of commission, and 2. (almost) everyone is in the same cental location. this means that (almost) everyone is in danger all at once, and they are all working together at the same time to fight the same threat. s1/s2 have their groups more fragmented for the finales, and while i understand why in each case and i wouldn’t call either season’s finale necessarily weak, i do think the centralized nature of the s3 finale just Works on another level. in s1 and s2, large segments of the cast are already perfectly safe by the time el dispatches the primary threat. in s3, however, everybody save for dustin and erica is still in danger up until the last moment, and el is seemingly (you can def debate how much power she still had in her when she peeked into billy’s mind and whether the memory broke the mindflayer’s hold on him or if she was actually controlling him to some degree) completely vulnerable. this increases the tension and raises the stakes, making the finale a real crescendo to fortissimo as opposed to a series of little mezzo forte moments. i hope everyone reading this knows music idk how else to phrase that my brain is stupid.

emphasis on friendship and adolescence (but in a different way than s1/2)

this is definitely a controversial one but i think that s3 really did like... show a side of friendship that had been more or less unexplored thus far in the show. el and max were amazing, and i think it’s really nice that we got an opportunity to see the kids have some growing pains as well as see them support each other through Normal Adolescent Stuff like boyfriends and breakups instead of just like. death and trauma. this is maybe just a personal preference, but i think it can be really enlightening and provide a lot of depth when you get to see how characters respond to normal everyday conflict and not just how they respond to giant world-ending conflict!! letting el use her powers for goofy teenage shit like spying on boys and messing with mean girls at the mall is not only fun for her and the audience, but it also really emphasizes just how much those powers are a part of el, making it that much more devastating when she loses them at the end of the season. 

weaknesses

tonal dissonance

so this is like. obvious. but it must still be said! i won’t go on and on about it since we all know this so i’ll try to like talk about it from an angle people don’t usually? anyway. it seems to me like they were maybe a little worried about s3 being too dark. while the choice to really lean into humor was definitely driven by the sorts of eighties teen films from which s3 drew inspiration (like fast times at ridgemont high), i think it was also done in an attempt to alleviate the more troubling implications of some events in the season, particularly the russian bunker plot. like, yeah, st can be incredibly dark, but if they’d played the whole “children being stuck inside of a foreign military base, tied up, tortured, and drugged” thing completely straight without the humorous elements that exist in canon, it had the potential to be like... disturbing on a new level. steve and robin don’t have powers like el yknow their kidnapping/torture doesn’t have any sci-fi elements to sorta soften the blow. they’re just innocent teenagers being brutalized and traumatized by grown men. so anyway yeah i think maybe the writers were concerned about this storyline coming off as too dark and they wanted it to be a little more whimsical but they ended up pushing way too hard in that direction and creating extreme dissonance at times. this goes for joyce/hopper/murray/alexei too, but to a lesser extent. i think the ridiculousness in that group felt a lot more like... realistic. but still. 

newspaper plot

once again i feel like i don’t even need to say this skjdncmn we all know it was insane how the show basically ended up delivering the message “while misogyny is a serious problem poverty and classism are not” and i’ve said it on this blog a million times so i don’t need to repeat myself. i’ll focus on another weak point of this plot: the fact that it completely separates nancy and jonathan from everyone else. once again, the show’s preoccupation with j/ancy held them back! like... can you imagine a version of s3 where nancy and jonathan both worked in the mall? i have a lot of ideas about this possible au and like how the plot could play out differently if they worked in the mall but first of all it’s just more realistic, second of all it further utilizes the mall as a central setting, and third of all, it would bring everyone together. as it is in canon, nancy and jonathan were unnecessarily isolated from the rest of the group, and this isolation was detrimental to both of their characters. like, they only ever get to interact with each other! if they’d gotten summer jobs in the mall, they could have had more interactions with the kids/steve/robin, and they absolutely still could have had a similar argument! maybe in this case, nancy notices the rat thing (or something else odd) herself when taking out the trash behind the mall, and she wants jonathan to ditch work with her to check it out bc she thinks it may be related to the lab. jonathan doesn’t want to ditch work because he needs his job, nancy argues that they’re working shitty mall jobs anyway and who cares if they get fired, and we get more or less the same thing as s3 without the cartoonishly over-the-top misogyny. i mean honestly i think the rat shit could have been cut entirely it didn’t rly... accomplish much of anything. in my opinion. like imagine s3 without the rat plot you literally would not be missing anything except it would be more surprising when the dudes melted into goo at the hospital. so yeah i think it would have been better if nancy and jonathan had jobs at the mall, weren’t isolated from everybody else, and were maybe absorbed into the party’s plot or the scoops troop’s plot from very early on, allowing them to interact with more characters and have a less... dumb.... plot. like god splitting up nancy and jonathan between the party/scoops troop would have been So Much better i just. sdkjcnksdmn anyway yeah.

briefness of group reunion/separation of groups

remember in s2 at the beginning of “the gate,” where mike and hopper had a confrontation and max and el met for the first time and el hugged everyone and steve and nancy had their sad little moment together outside... where’s that energy? obviously the s2 reunion wasn’t that long either, but it made space for some significant emotional moments to take place. s3′s reunion had some hopper/el/mike resolution, but besides that... there was nothing, really. i just think that the whole group getting together in s3 was SO exciting and powerful the way they did it (with both the scoops troop and the adults having their own Big Moment reconnecting with team griswold family), but the emotional potential was more or less squandered. 

i also think in s3 at times they were really stretching to keep everybody separated even though it made no sense. and like... in s1 the separation worked bc nobody else knew that (x group) was experiencing weird shit too, and beyond that, each group (as i mentioned in the s1 section) was sort of operating within their own genre and bringing something unique to the season. they’ve stopped doing that though! now, the groups aren’t separate bc each plot is tonally/structurally different, the groups are just separate bc... they need to be, because it’s a big ensemble cast and you can’t just have them all be together for a whole season or it would be way too difficult to coordinate things and keep the show dynamic. all this is to say that i’m excited for s4 because the location differences make it so there’s a Reason for each plot to be separate at the beginning, and i think that’ll work better.

general ridiculousness

i dont mean like i think it’s bad that they made jokes this is just me lumping in all the dumb shit like hopper not worrying about el and not wanting to check on the kids, him and joyce bickering long after they both know they and their children are in danger, max seemingly forgetting that billy is a racist abuser, etc etc. i think many of these are just a symptom of the show 1. trying desperately to keep the groups split up a certain way even though it may not make any sense, and 2. trying to fit into a certain genre/trope mold when their actual characters are more complex than the tropes they’re imitating. this is so fucking long already i am not gonna elaborate further rn but i trust u all know what i mean.

soooo... yeah, that’s about all! i mean it’s not all there are definitely many more things i could talk about and i know i focused sorta disproportionately on the teens which is my bad :/ but i’m done for now. thank you for asking, and apologies for the delay in responding!! i’m sure some people reading (if anyone read this far) will disagree with some of what i’ve said and that’s alright like i’m not The Authority on st or anything i’m just trying to talk about like my own thoughts yknow? so yeah luv u all i hope someone enjoyed reading this!!

[liquid-luck-00]

The Adventures of Miss Mischeif 2

Part 2

This was supposed to be written for Day 26: Not Soulmates @maribatmarch-2k21 but it wasn’t but it’s here. Here is part 2 @diana-luna-13

Ao3 *** Part 1

~~~~~~~~~~

She was dead that is the only explanation she had for her listening to yet another condescending ‘Romantic’ mansplain that she and Mister Bug must be soulmates by you guessed it Mister Bug. Unfortunately for him he still hadn’t cast his cure, so everyone was watching and listening to this all this alongside her.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” A woman stepped forward from the crowd towards her. She was clenching her jaw, shaking, trying to restrain her emotions.

“She’s fine. We didn’t even get hurt this battle.” Mister Bug thought it appropriate to answer for both of them.

“If I’m not mistaken, this kind citizen wasn’t talking to you.” A newcomer in a red helmet stepped forward next to Nightrunner.

“Minou?” Nightrunner stepped in front of her, crouched down, and whispered to her. “Hey, want to see if your winning streak will hold against the Hotte Rouge?”

That brought out a smile. “You’re on.” She then turned to the woman who stepped up. “I am fine Madame, but” she turned and faced Mister Bug. “I will only say this once, afterwards I will not listen to you on this subject again.ni will not be harassed into dating you because you got it in your head that we are soulmates. Hell, even if we were soulmates, that does not mean I HAVE to love YOU!” She pointed, he went quiet and still. “You do not get to harass me in an attempt to force me into a relationship and for me to accept.” She turned and faced Nightrunner and the Red Hood. The three of them left followed by a swarm of Ladybugs, and the familiar sound of Bug’s yo-yo.

“Do you want to talk to him?” She shook her head. “Take Hood to the base I’ll meet both of you there.”

“Okay.”

The two of them made it to the base in relative silence. When they got to the base, she excused herself to the bathroom, where she de-transformed.

"Hey, kitten you okay?” He nuzzled close to her.

"I don't know, Plagg.” She absentmindedly stroked his head, while he purred into her chest.

The two of them stayed like that for a few minutes before Plagg wiggled out of under her finger. "Come on, let’s go out there and kick the red bucket at some video games."

"Let's go!" She slipped on a domino mask Nightrunner had given her and tucked her hair back and into her hoodie. When she walked out, she dropped the school bag she still had with her.

"Homework, then video games."

"Why?" she pouted.

"Because I know you, and... you've probably finished most of it already Mischief."

"Fine." she conceded.

"Holy shit when did you adopt a kid Nightrunner?!"

She and Nightrunner remained silent before their brains kicked their mouths into overdrive, denial on their tongues.

"What would you call this, then?"

"Older Brother syndrome?"

"That! That is accurate.” She agreed. "Nox acts like my brother Ja..." The name formed a lump in her throat, which she promptly swallowed. "Nox acts like my brother used to."

- - -

Granted Jason knew that it would be best to avoid sensitive subjects, but when Bilal, called to help train one of Paris’ newest heroes, Jason was the only Bat who was free and decided why not. But this Kid had trauma, if how she reacted to her supposed partner was any indication, she was used to being pushed aside. That mask and Bilal seemed to help her stand up for herself. If Bilal was a form of brother to her, who isn’t in the picture anymore then that is somewhere to start. Jason knew that she pulled out her tablet as a way to drop the subject, but he wouldn't have it.

"Maybe we could help you reunite with him? Your brother that is." He extended tentatively.

She sadly shook her head. "No. First, that would lead you both to my identity. Second, I don't even know if he is alive or not. And third, my files may be redacted because of something that happened." She didn’t elaborate as if she wasn’t ready to share that, or that that event was too painful to relive.

“Why wouldn’t you want to know?” If I were able to find my sister again, I wouldn’t give up the chance, but she disappeared, not even looking for her with Bruce’s, or the JLA’s, hell I even tried using the League of Assassins’ resources but I could not find a trace of her.

“Knowing he is alive wouldn’t change what happened and knowing he is dead would only hurt me more than knowing, seeing as I’ve lost him all over again.”

“We are not going down this route. Hood.” A gaming controller was thrown at him. “We play until she is done.”

“Alright, alright. My offer stand if you ever want to know.” She didn’t say anything just a quick nod before powering on the tablet and inputting her code. He didn’t realize that he watched her put it in, but those four numbers swam through his head, familiar as if it was riddle, he should know the answer to, but it taunted him, confusing him.

It wasn’t long until she finished her homework and she sat down between the two of them.

“So, who wants to lose first?”

“Confidant, are we?”

“It’s a given fact is what it is.” Bilal handed her his controller, he shook his head pityingly, is that for me? No, it can’t be?

Ten matches in and he realized it was for him. “How do you do that?”

She shrugged, “Just good at games. I think it’s time for me to get home.” She started to gather her things.

“I should probably get going too.” Jason stood as Bidal moved next to him.

“Keep an eye on her you two are going roughly in the same direction.” He clapped Jason on the shoulder, to which Jason nodded. Mischief was exiting the bathroom now in her hero uniform.

“It’s time go Missy.” He called.

“Oh really now?” She rolled her eyes.

They left and spoke a bit on what she wanted to hone in on with training. He asked what she knew and her skills in combat. What he wasn’t expecting was that some skills she knew were similar to a street kids, he chalked it up to coincidence but it struck a chord with him. They had split off but he decided to stay a few roof over and glad he did. That bug was back.

“Hi there kitty cat.”

“Are you here to apologize or to continue to harass me?”

“But I’m not harassing you. Am I?”

“Ya you are. You don’t respect my answers, you don’t respect my boundaries, and worst of all you are supposed to be my partner. Someone I should be able to shoulder this responsibility with. Someone who I could trust, but you’ve taken advantage of that and tried to force your feelings onto me.” She stood firm, while bug boy seemed to really think.

“I’m sorry, how can I make it up to you?”

“Be better from this point on.”

“Okay, and if I step out of line tell me, or maybe explain it. I’ve had a rather sheltered childhood, and I know that doesn’t excuse my behavior, but I am willing to learn to be better.”

“Oh I will, and if it helps my childhood wasn’t exactly ‘normal’ as I’m guessing yours wasn’t either.” She used air quotes.

He laughed and she joined him. “Partners?”

“Partners.” She repeated.

“Um just out of curiosity what is your ideal romantic partner?”

“All I want in a man is someone who rides bravely, dances beautifully, sings with vigor, reads passionately, and whose taste agrees in every point with my own. And that is not you at least not the version that I know.” She turned and with a wave of her hand she left the red spotted hero alone on the roof.

The other red hero a few rooftops over was speechless. This girl just quoted Jane Austen and he was rooting for her. If he had to adopt her as his own daughter or even as a sister he would. Especially as he would tell his own sister that very line whenever she said she wanted a Prince Charming, he remembered as he made is way back to his hotel.

~~~~~~~~~~

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[isolemnlyswear]

can i request a remus fic?

maybe one where the reader has a crush on him but he has a crush on somebody else and talks about it to the reader all the time. the ending is up to you!! i just love angst.

thank you <33

mary f*cking macdonald

young!Remus Lupin x gryffindor!fem!reader

a/n : thank you for the request babie!! i’ll let you be in suspense for the ending mwahahaha

warnings : angst, kind of nightmares, one part may be kind of scary? loads of swearing, food mention

taglist : @oldschoolkiddo @amourtentiaa @anchoeritic @faeinorbit @tomriddleswifey @inks-and-jinx @blacksbooksx @punkrific @truly-insatiable @cedricsbrowncurls

---

“Truth or dare, Moony?” Sirius asks, taking a swig of firewhiskey and handing it over to James, who smirks.

Remus and you are relatively sober, but after James and Sirius asked to play a muggle game they'd heard of, you couldn't resist. He’s lounged across the maroon velvet couch of the common room, shaking his head at the two boys.

You've known the Marauders for three years, nine months, and sixty-four days. Coincidentally, you'd been in love with Remus Lupin for three years, nine months, and sixty-three days.

“Truth.” Remus says, and you shake the thoughts that are riddling your mind when he bites his lip, looking away from him.

“Hmm,” Sirius muses, tapping his chin with his forefinger. “Do you-” he giggles “-fancy anyone?”

James laughs loudly, and you shush him, partly out of consideration for your dorm mates upstairs, but mostly because you want to hear what Remus says next.

A blush spreads across the apples of his cheeks, and he glances at you for a fleeting moment before clearing his throat.

“Uhm-” a deafening pause, “-Yeah. M-Mary. Mary MacDonald,” he gulps, pursing his lips. Your lips part as if you would be able to say something, to tell him that you're so despondently in love with him, but instead, you're left with a trembling lip as tears threaten to spill from your eyes.

“Ooh! That girl Lily’s friends with?” James asks, grinning. Remus nods, clearing his throat again.

“Well? Tell us about her, Moony!” Sirius raises his eyebrows, looking expectantly at the boy.

“H-he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to,” you speak up, swallowing the bile that’s settled in the back of your esophagus.

“Thanks.” he says quietly, almost as if he's embarrassed that you were the one to get him out of the situation - or so he thought.

“No, go on!” James declares, taking another sip of firewhiskey. Remus is quiet for a moment, and then he parts his lips to speak.

“She’s... It's like I'm entranced by her, y’know? And I don't think she feels the same way. It's just-” he glances at you for a moment, “-I don't know how I’d tell her.”

Blood is draining from your face as you sit utterly paralyzed, mulling through your options in your mind. He's obviously mad for this Mary girl, so what good would telling him do? “Hey, Remus, I'm kind of hopelessly in love with you!” So no, there was no good outcome.

So instead, you clear your throat.

“Um, I-I’m gonna go to bed,” you announce weakly, attempting to push back the growing lump in your throat.

“Already?” Sirius questions, chuckling. You nod, waving a stiff goodbye without meeting Remus’s gaze.

The rest of the night is agonizing; you can't seem to fall asleep, and the only thing on your mind is Mary fucking MacDonald. You’re aware you have no reason to be mad at her - or Remus, for that matter - but there's this jealousy that boils in your stomach, and you can't rid yourself of it no matter how hard you try. That should be you.

You finally are able to succumb to the blanket that is sleep, hoping to have some sort of release from the pain that licks at you like flames.

But alas, dreams are unspoken demons that shift into nightmares, pouncing on you when you least expect it.

He’s kissing her. Passionately, desperately. Like he wants nothing else in the world but her. Not you. Her. You're standing on ice, and it's cracking under you, but the pair - Remus and Mary, that is - are elevated above the surface like angels, surrounded in warm yellow light. A single tear falls from your eye, and the ice shatters violently below you. You're plummeting below, limbs numbing as they hit the freezing water. It's lapping at you like fire, like it's burning, even though it's sheathed in frost. You're trying to scream, but your throat is raw and blocked from the cold, and your eyes are still open as you fall below, so that you can see through the translucent blue that’s above you. You can make out Remus, who’s laughing. They're both fucking laughing at your retreating figure as you succumb to the cold, eyes falling shut as your tears freeze against your face.

You're shaken from sleep by Lily - who’s your roommate - and she's wearing a tired expression, green eyes clouded with sleep.

“What is going on, Y/N?” she asks, rubbing her eyes. You sit up, knuckling at your irises.

“Hmm?” you respond, eyes foggy.

“You're fucking screaming. Loud.” she replies, pursing her lips, and you furrow your brows.

“Bad dream?” you reply warily, uncertain of your own response. Was it the dream that made you scream, or the worries raging inside you?

“Seems like it,”

---

“Where’s Y/N?” Remus asks the two as he sits down, eyes searching the great hall.

“Hasn’t been here all mornin’, mate,” James responds through a mouthful of toast, and Sirius nods in affirmation.

“Shit,” Remus mutters, appetite suddenly disappearing.

“What? She's probably still sleeping, r’something.” Sirius says, shrugging it off.

“No- no...” he says. “What all do you guys remember from last night?”

“You said you fancied Mary, then Y/N went to bed. The rest of it is foggy,” James replies, sipping his coffee.

“Oh, Merlin. I fucked up.” Remus shakes his head, running a shaking hand through his hair.

As if on cue, Lily and yourself make your way to the Gryffindor table - or Lily does, as you're so out of it that she has to guide you there.

“Come on, then,” she’s saying, pushing you into your seat - which just so fucking happens to be the one next to Remus, and you're recoiling, suddenly not hungry.

“No- I'm- I'm not hungry,” you mutter, getting up and trying to walk away, doing your best to fight the tears that threaten at your eyes. You stumble around, struggling to run out of the hall and into the corridor, collapsing as soon as the doors shut behind you.

But when you blink back the tears that are clouding your eyelashes, you're met with Remus, who has ran after you, and is crouching in front of you.

“What? I- I'm just- not hungry,” you choke out, and Remus’s expression is unreadable as he stares into your eyes.

“M’sorry,” he finally says, taking in a tremulous breath.

“Wh- what are you sorry for?” you ask, shaking your head incredulously.

“I fucked up... last night.”

“W-what?”

“I said I liked Mary, and- the truth is-” he pauses, gulping, “-I don't. I like you, I was just too much of a dick to admit it right there.”

“Wh- if this is some prank, I'll-” you say defensively, withdrawing from the boy.

“It's not, it's not, I- Fuck, I messed up again, didn't I? I'm sorry, I overstepped-”

You're shaking your head, trying to process the information you've been given, and the only thing you can think to do is throw yourself into his chest, arms around his neck, clutching onto him like a vice.

He responds quicker than you could've hoped, pulling you in to rub small circles into your back, shushing your soft cries.

“You really don't like her?” you whisper, and Remus responds with a small laugh.

“Why would I want Mary fucking MacDonald when I could have you, m’love?”