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linkspooky · 5 months ago

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Just got done with reading your "How To Do a Dark Deconstruction of your Shonen Hero" post, first off amazing work as always! As much as it pains me to hear (good faith, non-reactionary and well thought-out) criticism due to having gotten into MHA in middle school when I was impressionable and attached onto works quicker than I do, it was satisfying to hear someone as well-worded as yourself put into words a thought that I had. For a while I could only summarize it by thinking "Man MHA sure does feel toothless and inconsistent about what it delivers on, and what ideas or themes or messages or what have you are left in the fridge and forgotten about."

It was also fun to hear about Yu-Gi-Oh! GX, growing up YGO was only ever a game some of my friends played or "HEART OF THE CARDS" and Kaiba memes, so hearing that there was a lot more to the series was a welcome surprise, even if quite anecdotal on my part.

As for the question part of this ask, near the middle of it you brought up how despite being quite captivated with the idea and the final result, you weren't as impressed with how YGO got there, and vice versa with MHA in how it was paced better but so far(let me have a little bit of hope lol) ultimately hasn't made good on it's "storytelling promise" if you will.

With the preface that no story is "perfect" along with the fact that everyone has their own interests, biases, icks, etc., I wanted to ask if there was a story which in your opinion, that blends proper pacing and build-up, with proper follow-up and payoff? I had the idea of deconstructing the perfect shonen protag or similar character in mind, but I'm also curious to hear about other ideas as well if you have them.

PS Thanks again for writing and posting these. They're often the highlight of my day when I remember to get around to reading them. And apologies for this long-ass ask hehe.

If you want a shonen series with similiar themes of "saving the villains" as MHA and Season 3 of Yu-Gi-Oh GX! but better pacing, buildup, payoff and overall story structure then both manga then I strongly reccomend another Yu-Gi-Oh series, Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal.

To begin with as a disclaimer I think Yu-Gi-Oh, but especially the spinoffs post 5DS get a bad reputation. For several reasons, the dub, but also the Duel Monsters anime adaptation is kind of bad. A lot of people forget that Yu-Gi-Oh! started out as a very dark urban fantasy, or just the fact that it runs in the same magazine as MHA and JJK. Once you get over the fact that it revolves around card games, Yu-Gi-Oh is as much of a battle shonen as MHA or JJK.

If you give Zexal a chance, it has everything MHA promised us. A conflict where there's really no heroes and villains, a story about what it means to save people, and a protagonist who wants to save everyone.

Yu-Gi-Oh no Cristo!

If you want to take my word for it that Zexal is good, and avoid spoilers then don't read any further. However, I thought I'd demonstrate HOW Zexal tackles the same themes that My Hero Academia tried to tackle.

I'm going to limit this analysis to Zexal I, because while Zexal II is superior in every way I don't want to spoil the whole darn show. Zexal deconstructs the idea of what it means to save others, by having the central conflict in its first season focus on several different factions where no side is the clear good guy. it also tackles the theme of "revenge", and how no character's revenge is justified no matter how wounded they are.

Zexal has three main characters, Yuma, Kaito, and Shark. The latter two are deuteragonist, and tritagonist respectively, and vacillate between being rivals and outright antagonists. If you wanted a story where Shigaraki post My Villain Academy was basically given deuteragonist status alongside Deku then this is the story for you. From her on out I'm going to focus on the cycle of revenge and also the intertwining arcs of Yuma, Shark and Kite and how these characters develop the themes.

Before I get to the World Duel Carnival, I would be amiss to mention that Zexal has a faster start then any Yu-Gi-Oh anime barring 5DS. The introductory arc is episodic in nature, but it does two things really well, first establishing Yuma as a character and second laying the groundwork for both Shark and Kaito showing they are human beings with their own motivations even when they act as antagonists to Yuma. World Duel Carnival starts at 27, but in my opinion the real conflict starts in episode 33 with the introduction of the Tron Family.

In comparison My Hero finishes the Stain arc around episode 33, so I'd say they equally have as strong a start, and both works have introduced their main trio in that time.

With the Tron Family the secondary antagonists of the season we're finally introduced to the season's main confict of revenge. There are four factions and I'm going to take the time to explain each one's motivation before digging in deeper.

The conflict starts with the parents of the three main characters, Lord Byron Arclight (who will later return as Tron), Dr. Faker, and Kazuma Tsukumo. The three of them were studying alternate dimmensions together when Dr. Faker betrayed his two close friends. Kazuma and Lord Byron were dropped into an alternate dimmension as sacrifices to open the door between dimmensions. Kazumi did his best to try to save himself and Lord Byron, but he was unsuccesful and they both dropped out of the world.

Arclight wandered around between dimmensions, until he was eventually saved by the Barian world, a world of pure chaos kind of like the flipside of our world. However, his salvation came with a cost he was reverted from an adult man to a ten year old's body, and he also lost half of his face which is now a black hole (it's weird I'm not sure how that happened). The only thing that sustained Tron was the idea of getting revenge against Dr. Faker and now that he's returned he's determined to have it.

Tron had three sons, Michael, Thomas and Christopher. Which he renames III, IV, and V because he can't be bothered to remember their names I guess. Tron was once a very loving father and left his children behind on what was supposed to be a temporary research trip. However, their father apparently died, and Christopher the oldest was not old enough to take custody so III and IV were sent to different orphanages. At the same time Christopher was broken-hearted to learn that the man who killed his father, was the father of his student and close friend Kaito Tenjo, and ended that relationship for those reasons.

With the return of Tron the family was allowed to be back together with a now older Christopher taking custody of his brothers and now parenting his ten year old father (which is hilarious by the way). However, Tron distorted by the Barian world and his desire for revenge now uses his sons as tools in his revenge scheme against Dr. Faker. All three sons comply on the thin hope that if they complete their father's revenge, he will go back to being loving Byron Arclight. The Tron Family is a family united by revenge, but also defined by an intense family loyalty to each other, both as siblings, and to their father. While their father may not deserve it, all three sons love him deeply and would do anything to try to save him.

IV: You can't trust me that much. Just because I can't become an obedient servant to you like III and V. IV: But even so...I still also...for your sake. IV: Dad, you always smiled gently in the past. IV: But... after you returned from the parallel world it's like you had an entirely different personality. IV: Despite that we were still willing to follow you, Tron. Shark: Stop pretending to be a victim. Shark: Even if you were being used, I won't forgive you for what you did.

Which dovetails nicely into the conflict between Shark and IV. IV, obeying his father's orders challenged Shark's sister to a duel in a building that later blew up. He knew about the first part, but not the second, but still is somewhat responsible despite his ignorance. He did his best to save Shark's sister from the flames getting scarred in the process, but she was left comatose.

Soon after, IV engineered Shark's disgrace as a duelist, by purposefully letting his cards fall on the ground so Shark could see them during a tournament so he'd be disqualified for taking a peek.

All of these under his father's orders to turn Shark into yet another tool of revenge against Dr. Faker, as a wildcard to be pointed in Faker's direction. IV further antagonizes him by giving him a Numbers Card knowing that the darkness of the Numbers card will soon possess him in order to further his father's scheme. He also just wants to flat out defeat Shark so he can prove to his father he's more useful.

Shark looks like the clear victim in this situation, but his complete lack of sympathy for IV is total hypocrisy. Because, Shark is also only after revenge for what was done to him and his sister. Shark was hurt by IV's revenge, but Shark will also attack completely innocent people, including Yuma, just to get his revenge against IV. Shark is the aggrieved victim, but he fights only for revenge not to save someone and he just does not care for anyone other than his sister, himself and Yuma to an extent. Unlike IV, who has the added motivation of saving someone, and also is self-aware that he did something wrong that he can't take back.

Shark is very much a case of "well, my revenge is different from your revenge" somehow, and it makes him look like a hypocrite. Which is why Shark wavers between being an anti-hero and an anti-villain, because in spite of his mroe heroic qualities and his friendship with Yuma he pretty consistently is only motivated to duel for revenge and not for saving others like Yuma is and the show is clear on it's themes of "there is no such thing as a justified revenge."

Shark does not get his revenge, in fact the same way IV is manipulated to pointing his anger at Shark, Shark gets manipulated by Tron to pointing all of his anger at Yuma. Yuma basically has to act as the punching bag, in order to try to calm Shark down again and in Shark's own words even if you were being used, I won't forgive you for what you did.

Shark won't forgive IV, but he ends up committing the exact same unforgivable acts, and by his own logic manipulation is not an excuse.

Now that we've introduced Shark as the wildcard, the last faction is Dr. Faker's. Kaito and Dr. Faker both are fighting to save Haruto, Faker's second son and Kaito's little brother. Here is the twist with Dr. Faker's betrayal he's presented as a "I did everything for power" type of villain, but he's actually doing everything to save his son from dying and is willing to backstab his closest friends to do so, and turn his son Kaito into a pawn. There's an added layer of complication where Dr. Faker is legitimately using his son as a pawn, but much like the Tron Siblings, Kaito is also willing to comply because saving Haruto is just as important to him.

Kaito is a numbers hunter who rips out the souls of people in order to reclaim numbers cards from them, something which ages them and leaves them completely comatose. Kaito also blatantly says on several occasions, he doesn't care how many people he has to hurt to save his brother. So Kaito's motivations aren't revenge like Tron's, but he's also just as willing to get innocent people involved. He even attacks Shark once who didn't even have a number card, simply for GETTING IN THE WAY when he was trying to steal Yuma's key.

Kaito's not just an "I'll do anything to save my brother" type of character, he actively does not care about how many victims he creates along the way.

KAITO: You're wrong. Just one person matters to me. I only care about Hart.

And he sure does mean that. His own allies? Don't matter. His former friend Christopher? Doesn't care. Yuma who actively wants to save Hart too? Get out of the way bucko.

YUMA: Kaito, Droite fought desperately against Tron for your sake. YUMA: Droite liked y- KAITO: That's none of your concern.

Kite's obsession with saving his brother is all-consuming, and even ignores that Haruto does not want Kaito hurting himself for his sake, because it is just as much about Kaito as it is about Haruto.

Kaito also clashes with V from the Tron Family, and is deeply hurt by the fact that V will make punching bags out of both Kite and Haruto in order to get revenge against their father.

However, Kaito who has at this point put several people in comas in order to save his brother (the exact same motivation V has for his father and two younger brothers) is a complete hypocrite in this regard.

V: Friend you say? V: But that ideal was completely wrecked by Dr. Faker. V: Could you forgive that person's son? V: When I realized the truth, I... KAITO: Enough of this nonsense.

I'm sure none of the people Kaito put in comas had brothers, and they all kicked puppies when no one was looking. Even after Kaito realizes that Christopher was only trying to save his family the same way that he was, and promises to inherit his feelings, he forgets all about that when dueling Tron.

Kaito's one and only loss in the whole series comes from when he loses himself to revenge against Tron after he provoked him one too many times by tormenting Haruto. Once again, no matter what the reason revenge is never justified in Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal!

Tron: You're right I have no emotions. Droite and Shark... I was willing to even use my sons in order to create rage. Kaito: Say what? Tron: You did pretty well, too! You get angrier and angrier when it comes to Haruto. It's all thanks to you, have a look.

As much as Kaito would like to make a martyr of himself, he is just like the Tron siblings, just like Shark, an angry little kid lashing out against innocent people for the pain both him and his brother has suffered. Even kaito who has the most explicit desire to save someone, succumbs to revenge in the end when he's pushed.

The tragedy of season 1 is that basically every faction involved has a case of "my revenge is more important than your revenge, and my loved ones are more important than your loved ones". Even though both the Tron Family, and Kaito are fighting to save their families, neither of them ever backs down or considers the other side's motivations because THEIR PAIN is more important.

The last faction of the story is Yuma's, and as stated above Yuma is the only one who attempts to see his opponent's side. Yuma's central motto is "if we've dueled each other, then we're already friends." He also believes that duels should never be used as tools for hurting each other, something Shark, Kaito and the Tron Family all gleefully do in their conflict against one another.

Yuma is a deconstructoin of the "save everyone" because while he is involved in the conflict too because he lost his father to Dr. Faker, unlike the other three factions he has a support system. He still has his grandmother and sister, childhood friends, friends at school and Astral.

This fact is explicitly called out in his duel against III who by that point Yuma considers a friend. III spends a day with Yuma, bonding with him over their shared love of archaelogy, seeing his family and home life, only to turn against him.

Yuma tries to reach out to III the entire time through the duel and talk him down, and it doesn't work because Yuma with his support system, cannot truly understand where III is coming from and the desperation that drives him. Yuma's not caught in the same rock and hard place that III is, and all the sympathy and good intentions in the world cannot overcome the difference between that.

Yuma also in spite of his desire to solve things peacefully is basically forced to still fight, because if he loses a duel his close personal friend Astral will die, so it's actively a challenge for him to seek the third way to settle things without contributing to the cycle of revenge.

So Yuma represents the correct path, forgiveness and understanding the other's point of view, but it also shows that Yuma is able to do that because unlike everyone else he has a support system. Yuma is not internally more good than Shark, Kite, or the rest. He's just in a place where he can afford to look at the other people's perspectives because he's not desperately fighting for survival.

It's also a challenge for him to do so, because Yuma is someone very immature. As I said with III he does not understand the depths of what they are feeling even if he wants to make the pain go away. He tries to offer his unwavering support to people, but he fails just as often as he succeeds due to his immaturity.

In Yuma's case it's less being a perfect hero, but rather making an unrelenting effort to help others and offer a hand that matters. Yuma's character development in season 1 for me crystallizes in his final redemption of Tron, the character besides Faker who makes him the most angry because of his gleeful abuse of his sons for the sake of revenge. Not only does Yuma start to get through to Tron at points in the duel, because he tries so hard to make Tron understand how much he's hurt his sons, but at the end of the duel he mirrors his father's own action of trying to save both himself and Byron Arclight I mentioned at the beginning of this post.

Yuma: I won't give up! Tron: But why? Why are you trying to save me? Yuma: It's obvious, isn't I? Everyone I duel are my friends. Yuma: I don't understand all that complicated stuff, but we create bonds through dueling. And since you dueled me you are my friend. Tron: I finally understand. Your dueling goes beyond my desire for revenge. Yuma I can't live the same way as you and Kazuma, but I can't let Dr. Faker go either. I'll release all the souls I captured.

Yuma does represent the themes of love, and understanding being the only way to heal revenge (because more revenge does not fix anything) but he's not just propped up as a saint by the narrative. He's a character who has to go through serious character development before he's finally able to back up his good intentions with actual concrete action.

Yuma isn't just good internally, but rather his constant efforts to find the third path, and befriend other people is what makes him the hero of the story. Yuma is Deku done right and I will stand by this.

I hope I've been able to demonstrate the themes of Zexal, and I would be amiss to mention this is just Zexal I. Zexal II the second season does all of this even better. The Barians are an even better version of the League of Villains because despite starting a war with the main characters, they are all sympathetic and their point of view is just as valid as Astral and Yuma's. I don't want to spoil Zexal II though, so if anything about Zexal I caught your eye I reccomend watching both series.

#yu gi oh zexal #ygo meta #shark #tron family #christopher arclight #thomas arclight #tron #yuma tsukumo #kaito tenjo #michael arclight #metasks

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mrskurono · 4 years ago

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Schweiden Sex Education: Intercourse || Wakatoshi Ushijima x Fem!Reader

Tags: mention of insecurities, vaginal penetration, slight size kink, soft sex, creampie, sex bruh

Character(s): Wakatoshi Ushijima (hq)

Word Count: 2.2k

a/n: this will be the final installment of this mini series, ngl it ended up more popular and more touchy feely than I thought it would. thank you everyone for reading <3

part (1) (2)

inter·course /ˈin(t)ərˌkôrs/

noun; sexual contact between individuals involving penetration

“Do you hate her?”

Ushijima blinked a handful of times at the voice going unregistered to him. Korai of course had to repeat himself.

“Do you hate our manager or something?” The second to newest Schweiden member craned his neck around to look at the same lady talking with the captain, “I mean...even since I started last season it seems like it but I dunno, do you just hate her or something?”

No longer the new guys, Ushijima still felt confused on what his teammate meant, “Why would you say that? I’ve never said that.”

Korai shrugged. White haired man taking the ball from his bigger mates grasp and chucking the volleyball at the real newbie coming into the gym when Tobio arrived. Korai gut laughed when the dark haired man didn’t catch it and only wasted a little more time before wiping at his eyes to look back at Ushijima with what he’d just said, “You spend so much time staring at her. Thought maybe you hated it her since never talked to her.”

Ushijima’s brows pinched in the middle with the deepest furrow, “I never said I hated anyone.”

Once more with a shrug Korai figured he’d drop it, “Well man, if you don’t hate her. You must have one hell of a crush on her then.”

The word rung in his head when you said it.

Sex.

You were naked under him. Rightfully so after his first attempt to bring you, or any woman, to an orgasm. He should feel proud if not a little smug. All he felt was nervous.

“Ok....sex,” You inhaled deeply now that most of your senses was collected. The real thing felt a lot different than your own hand and the same scenario being lit up on the tiny screen of your phone. Slight tingle from that orgasm you were wondering if you had been that hard up for a hook up. Dashing that from your mind you refocus on the Schweiden player before you, “I mean...I guess there’s not a lot to say about it. I’m sure you’ve seen porn or Korai I’m pretty sure played something off of Pornhub in the locker room at least once.”

That light anecdote didn’t seem to tear the man’s concentration away from you. Leaving you to wiggle a bit and get higher up on the bed. Thinking maybe he was going to follow. Ushijima remained staring at you with that all too familiar look on his face. A look you recall years worth of seeing from across the gyms at practice.

Without warning it dawns on you, maybe he doesn’t actually want to have sex with you. A feeling nothing short of claustrophobic when it hits you. The tingle you’ve felt since the locker room fizzles out with vigor. You’re exposed. Silly. Regretful. Suddenly to recount your words.

“I mean-” You stumble over words falling from your lips while looking up at him and trying to cover some part of you, “We don’t have to- Um Ushiwa- Uh Ushijima- I uh it’s fine if you don’t want to we can just forget this-”

“I don’t hate you.”

The slur of words from your mouth catch. His surprising you more. You stop trying to cover yourself with what little blanket you can up root. Instead your brows furrow uncharacteristically at him at the foot of the bed.

“What?”

Olive eyes dropping from you it’s the first time since he joined three years ago that you saw him actually break eye contact first. You’re nothing short of surprised when Ushijima, still naked, sits back on the edge of the bed. Easing up on the need to cover yourself. You realize he’s talking about something entirely different.

Brows pinched together you ask again what he meant. Crawling towards him now. Kneeling beside him unsure if you should lay a hand on him or something. His face seems complacent like normal but with the way he sounded. It just didn’t sound right to you.

Ushijima lifts his gaze to meet your naked body right next to his. Of course he couldn’t tear them away from your form before him. All those times he’d stared at you over the years. Only now realizing he’d been trying to think what you looked like in this exact light.

“...I...Korai thought I hated you,” He confesses in the weirdest manner. Finding the one thing he couldn’t take his eyes off of wasn’t your naked body. But your face, “I don’t....I never did. I just- I think I love you and it might have been my fault if I-”

Cut off directly by the feeling of your lips against his. There’s a spilt second the man doesn’t know what to do with his hands. Only to be thankful when he felt your hands gently take his and place them on your sides. Getting the gesture Ushijima curled his broad arms around your bare waist just as you curled your own arms around his neck. Delaying the need for a breath in the passionate kiss until finally neither of you could hold out.

“Lets make love instead,” You mutter against his lips. Feeling for the first time Ushijima trying to push back into the kiss like he wasn’t ready for it to end just yet. Drawing your fingers down from the nape of his neck. Small circles over his collar bone to dip down between his well defined chest, you look up at him and smile, “...because I think I might be in love with you.”

Nothing short of a glimmer in the otherwise deadpan expression. Ushijima for the first time since the locker roomer took a kiss from you. Not just taking it. He downright kissed you back into the middle of the bed. Lips never leaving yours it was barely any fumbling as he scooped his big hands under your bottom and pulled you into his hips. Leaving you to hold onto his shoulders as the urgency of the kiss translated over to your movements together.

Sooner than later you felt his cock rub against your inner thigh. Only breaking the kiss enough as you kissed his cheek and the corner of his mouth with a breathy whisper, “Put it in...please, I want you to do it.”

Nodding there wasn’t a question to be asked. Ushijima understood more than anything where he wanted his cock to go. You telling him only sealed the fact he craved no one else.

Gripping his cock there’s a second when you adjust your hips and allow his length to slip up between your soaked folds. Earning a pleasant moan to bubble up between your lips. Any other time you might have been worried to take someone so big. But that was the last thing in your mind right now. Consumed with need all you could think of was the stretch of his cock inside you.

Rewarded with the real thing faster than anything else. You gasp. Making him stop half way to which you panic and tell him through a loud moan to keep going. Ushijima can’t stop but sink his thick cock down to the base in your sopping wet cunt. Nothing he could even imagine prepared him for this.

“W-Warm-” The low rumble of a moan echoed in his chest. Ushijima unsure what to do pushed his lips back onto yours. Just the way your walls clenched around him and you engulfed his senses was ethereal to him.

“Move....how you wanna,” You whisper against his lips, “I want you to fuck me like you’ve been wanting to all these years.”

There was hesitation. You were right he had seen porn and what they did. But none of that seemed desirable. Right now all he wanted to do was feel you. Consume you. Make every fiber of his being tingle with your body.

Slow to start Ushijima began rocking his hips into yours. Each movement earning more than just a lowly moan from you. Assured that it was wonderful by your praise and touching all over him. Soon it became a need for him to snap his hips into yours. Watch you squirm under him, mouth agape and eyes locked onto him. Everything intoxicating to every single sense the man had.

“ ‘gonna cum-” You bite back a moan as your hips bounce with each forceful thrust, “I- I think I’m gonna cum-”

“Please-” Ushijima buried his face into the crook of your neck, panting, thrusts hard and deep as he felt himself approaching a familiar feeling, “Please cum- I want you-”

Tongue gliding over your parted lips and swallowing the knot in your throat. It’s nothing like the knot growing in your stomach. Boxed in completely by the enormous man above you. It’s hardly possible to snake your hand down to your clit. But when you do your free hand gripes the back of his neck as your fingers dance around your already sensitive bud, “I- It’s too much- Fuck-”

For a split second he wonders what is too much but that is dashed when the shudder in your body starts at your toes and every inch of you twitches under him. Sealing the deal for Ushijima when he feels nothing short of heaven when your cunt tightens around him in a way no mouth or hand could ever mimic. All that stamina in the world for nothing when he pushes his hips into yours. Desperate to follow your lead.

Rutting into you as deep as he can until the warm gush of cum overflows into your cunt. You’d never felt anything so intimate yet even as his lips found yours to kiss you. The twitch of Ushijima’s cock with each spurt of cum had you moaning into the kiss like a virgin all over again.

Both of you breathing harder than expected into the kiss. Finally came down from the high. His cock still buried in you and most of your body limp under him. You take a moment to swallow as you look up at the man before you. This time he was staring but you didn’t feel the need to turn away. Instead you smiled at him with a little giggle. And for the first time in nearly four years, Ushijima smiled back at you.

Minor Epilogue ;|

“Where’s Ushiwaka?” Korai dribbled the volleyball as he looked back towards the locker room.

Tobio looked up from his bottle after fiddling with the lid, “Hirugami didn’t say anything?”

White brows pinched together Korai bounced the ball as high as he could manage and huffed, “This is day three! He’s late and we get to wait for him!”

“You could just practice with Romeo and Sokolov before he comes.” Tobio offered without much concern as he grabbed the volleyball before Korai could catch it.

“Don’t break the lights Hoshiumi!” Hirugami shouted across the gym as he caught sight of one of the second youngest Schweiden harassing the volleyballs.

Grumbling to himself Korai snatched the ball back from Tobio, “Of course Hirugami-san!” Content with dribbling the ball at a much more manageable height, Korai looked around for a short stint at attendance, “You notice our manager has been late recently too?”

“And?” Tobio shouldered his duffel bag without a chance of even feigning interest in his teammates rant.

Brows still pinched Korai glared out at the double doors of the Schweiden’s gym, “I bet they’re hooking up. I bet- Look!” Korai skidded to a stop mid sentence when through the double doors it was the late Schweiden in question. Undoubtedly with their manager at his side. Like a detective Korai pounced on the chance to interrogate them but that was lost among the chaos when all of the Scweiden team witnessed Ushijima lean down and give their ever so wonderful team manager a kiss on the lips.

That’s when all insanity broke loose.

Korai was on them like stink on shit. Tobio and Toshiro ready to intercept Korai before his rabid-ness scared the new love birds away. Tatsuto wanting a better look at the drama amongst the crew. Leaving Fukuro and Nicollas to exchange glances at each other as they hoisted up the volleyball net.

“Is that Ushijima and y/n?” Nicollas peered over to the bustling drama at the front of the gym.

Fukuro, minding his own business, nodded, “Think they’ve been going out for a while now.”

Smiling as Ushijima’s face seemed stone serious as ever and y/n’s face flush red as the white haired Schweiden had some serious question, Nicollas laughed as remembered that feeling, “Ah young love....wish there was an educational course one could take when learning the affairs of the heart.”

Fukuro snort laughed and tightened the bindings on the net they’d be using for practice if they ever stopped their gawking, “Yeah, we call that sex ed here.”

Nicollas chuckled when he saw their lovely manager punch Korai in the side. Revealing the oddest sight of Ushijima smiling ever so slightly on his stoic features while the rest of the Scweiden’s rallied around the new couple as the two seniors could only stand back and laugh, “Sex and love education....I think we could all use that.”

a/n: The end is finally here! Honestly I can’t believe I’ve actually finished a series in the first place! To everyone who’s read and supported it thank you from the bottom of my heart. This was too much fun to write and I won’t lie I might have a little soft spot in my heart for Ushijima now <3

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mah-gah-lee · 4 years ago

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be stuck with you - owen patrick joyner x (reader)

Word Count: 2303

Request: YES, from that sweet @idontcare011, hope you’ll like it !

Summary: you were late and a random boy comes into the elevator at the last minute. By some incredible force of fate (or pretty crappy weather) you find yourself stuck with the young man in this narrow cabin.

Warnings: panic attack and i think it’s all

disclaimer: I don't know Owen personally or what his life is like. All you will read in this "x reader" is from my imagination. My point is not to invade Owen's privacy. I don't want to offend him or offend anybody else in his life (family, potential girlfriend…I heard maybe he has one, so I don’t know but I don’t want to offend her). All of this is not the reality

Tagged: @asdfghjkl-fanfics @standingtalllove @lukeys-giggle

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Thanks God, the quarantine was over and everyone could travel again. However, this stupid virus was not completely gone. Since the health crisis, you have adopted new habits, such as taking the stairs instead of the elevator. But today, you were in a hurry, so you entered the cabin eagerly. The conference you were due to attend was starting in no less than twenty minutes, and your itinerary had said it would take you 15 to get to your planned location. But with the weather conditions creeping in out there, you were sure you would need a lot longer than advertised. The automatic door was closing when a hand stepped in the way. A young blond man appeared and slipped into the elevator. You grumbled at the action, making you fall a few more seconds behind.

"Sorry" the boy said through his mask.

But you didn't answer.

You had almost ten floors to go down together. You looked in your bag for a while to make sure you had your recorder when you felt an uncontrolled jerk. Your body no longer held you in balance but you caught yourself on a side of the elevator as the young man accompanying you tended to stabilize you. The lights flashed for a while and then went out. Your eyes widened as your heart pounded.

"oh no no no no no no no. Anything except that, please!" you said, frantically pressing a random button.

“I think we stuck…”

"Oh yeah, what makes you think that?" The fact that we weren't moving or that the lights went out? "

The boy threw up his hands in defense, eyes wide with so much animosity.

"Hey, I'm in the same situation. You don't have to be aggressive."

You groaned before leaning against one of the elevator walls, peering into the face of your elevator failure companion. He had blond hair; his tips reached the base of his neck. But his expressive blue eyes - seeming constantly anxious - reminded you of someone, but you didn't know who. You have pushed the alarm button to warn the staff that there was someone in the lift.

“Sorry, it’s seems to be a bad day. I’m late and now I’m stuck in an elevator with a perfect stranger”

“I’m Owen…Not a stranger anymore”

“I’m y/n, but yes, you still are”

Owen laughed at your outspokenness and you gave him a polite smile before you were silent for several minutes.

After what seemed like forever - when it was only ten minutes - you looked at your phone. No networks. For no obvious reason, when everything seemed to be going well, your heart started to beat faster. The thought of being stuck here forever crossed your mind and ached in your chest. The boy in front of you seemed so calm, which made you even more anxious.

"How the hell can you stay so calm"

"Oh ... I'm dying inside, just trying to play it cool"

You can help with giving him an amused smile, he had been so frank. But this little interaction did not bring you back down from your state. You were breathing harder and harder, your chest was heaving quickly, it was nearly out of control. Owen seemed to notice that and give you a concerned look.

"Panic attack?"

You nodded briskly and Owen approached you cautiously. You saw his hands move towards you and your gaze expressed fear but you were paralyzed to do anything.

"I'm going to take that damn mask off you already."

Gently, he grabbed the fabric mask and pulled a little on it to lower it, he reproduced the gesture with his own mask.

"Look at me, just me. There's nothing around us. Take a deep breath. I'll count to 3 and then you'll breathe out. Okay?"

you nodded and when he shook his to urge you to breathe you took a deep breath, like he told you to.

"1..2..3"

You sighed, keeping your gaze on him. You started once more and when the blonde asked you if it was better, you were shaking your head negatively.

"We're starting over but… take my hands and squeeze them as much as you need. Don't worry about grinding them."

You grabbed his hands and restarted each step over, crushing his hands. But the contact with matter, your breath and Owen's comforting eyes, help you gently. A soothing silence has settled between you. Owen had helped you through this panic attack when you didn't even know each other. But you could feel deep inside that this man was good. Things seemed to calm down for you and you thanked Owen with a genuine smile.

“You know how to deal with it ... Thanks for that.”

“I also suffer from anxiety and panic attack. But the elevator is big enough here that it doesn't cause me one. Although I am a little anxious ...”

“hey, breathe Owen.” You replied with a smirk

Owen laughed and shook his head as if to say "that's a good one!" You look at the young man again, staring at him intently. It was very rude but you couldn't put a name on his face anymore. You were sure you knew him. Was he a distant cousin? A neighbor? A guy you knew in high school? Or just a guy you saw in an ad? Maybe the ad for these new cereals!

“Excuse me but ... I've seen you somewhere before, haven't I?”

“In an elevator, yeah!” he joked

You laughed he was funny

“No, I mean ... I feel like I've seen you before but I really can't remember where.”

he sighed, as if a little tired of the question. You were surprised at his reaction but Owen answers you anyway

“Yeah, I don't usually talk about that when I first meet a girl, especially when I'm stuck in an elevator with her but ... I'm an actor. I played some stuff on Nickelodeon and now I'm supposed to shoot season two of Julie and the phantoms, it's a Netflix series.”

You watched him chattering, you nodded then wide your eyes. This is where you saw it! You had been relentlessly browsing the Netflix catalog and seeing the trailer for the series he told you about, but you had avoided it, the show seemed too childish for you. You first reaction was to make fun of him

"Again, don't forget to breath Owen. But the way, I didn’t want to bother you with that question."

He laughed lightly then smiled politely at you. You didn't seem to be a hysteric or a weird person. He had a deep feeling that you were a good person, which is why Owen seemed to relax.

"It's just ... for a while, I thought you were a fan and I didn't want things to be weird all suddenly "

"Oh don't worry I haven't seen any of your shows.” you said nonchalantly

Owen burst into laughter. Once again, it was bafflingly sincere and he was really starting to enjoy being stuck in an elevator with you. You smiled, the energy in the cabin was positive that you almost forgot you were stuck with this young man for almost half an hour. You didn't know when you were going to be able to get out of here but you didn't really care anymore for the sole reason that you wanted to get to know this man. You tilted your head back, resting it against the elevator wall before sighing loudly. Seconds later, your gaze turned to Owen again.

“So tell me about this series that you’re filming. What is it about?”

"It's a pretty cool show actually. It's directed by Kenny Ortega, I don't know if you see who he is."

"Hell yeah ... he's the choreographer of Dirty Dancing"

"Himself ... So what about the storyboard ... It's about ..."

And then, you listened to him to tell you about the series. Something like a '90s band dying of food poisoning from a bad hotdog and returning twenty-five years later as ghosts to help a super talented young girl to make music after her mom passed away. It made you laugh; it was probably the dumbest death on TV after Marion Cotillard's in Batman. He couldn't even stop anymore so that he sometimes swapped over a few anecdotes from the set. You even got a little exclusive on season two before Owen stopped in the middle of a sentence.

"Sorry, I got a little carried away. But when you like your job, it's pretty easy to talk about it."

You smiled at him and Owen started asking you questions, about your work, your life, your passions and you were giving him back. The conversation was fluid, natural You learned that he was German, that his mother tongue was German until he was about four years old, that he had a sister and had lived with his parents until that year when he moved into his own apartment. Getting to know Owen was really nice and you could feel your stomach twist every time he smiled. He was a boy full of humor but also sarcasm.

You've been stuck with Owen for an hour and a half now. You ended up sitting on the floor of the elevator. Boredom was really starting to take hold of you. You rummaged through your bag for something, anything. An idea crossed your mind when you saw the small block of post-it notes.

"Owen"

"hmm?"

"How would you like to play a game?"

"What kind of game do you want to play here?"

"Who am I?"

"Obviously you are y/n" he tells you with a smirk.

You laughed before pulling out your notepad and a pencil to show it to the blonde. He claimed to have understood your intention, which made you smile even more. Of course, Owen knew the game you wanted to play. He nodded, and you'd write a celebrity's name on a sticky note before sticking it on your new friend's forehead. He did the same for you. Fortunately, your two post-its are well stuck. Owen spoke

"I start: am I a man?"

"Obviously" you say with a smirk, responding to the blonde's previous joke.

Owen laughed, catching the tone of your voice.

“But how funny she is! Is my character a man?” He continued.

You did several parts. You even teased him when he made you guess Julie and the phantoms, because the game didn't stop only with characters, celebrities but also series, movies, musicals. You were laughing when there was another shake, stronger than the first, the lights came back on and you couldn't help but be disappointed. You looked at Owen and he seemed to have the same gaze as yours. The doors barely opened and you found the hotel staff, patiently waiting to ask if you needed medical assistance, while also offering you a bottle of water. You left the elevator car, hurriedly stuffing the many post-its into your bag. You didn't really know how to act with the blond guy next to you. You had formed a little bubble in that enclosed space and now it seemed to have burst. For some strange reason, it made you sad. Now is the time to part ways with your new friend.

“well, good-goodbye, it was nice to meet you.”

you rushed into the hotel lobby a little more, but Owen seemed to catch up with you, his long legs only having to take a few strides.

"wait, y/n!"

You turned to him, you could see the embarrassment on his cheeks, asking with a frown what was the cause.

"I think you let that go"

"No, I don't"

You looked at the crumpled white paper. It even looked like a piece of chewing gum. And at first glance, Owen's perfectly white teeth were chewing one.

"I think you did."

He handed you the paper with a determination that convinces you. You bite your lip as you look at the series of numbers on the packaging: a phone number. His telephone number. Owen swallowed hard as he looked at you. His eyes never leaving your lips.

"It's pretty spontaneous of me but ... I won't start filming until next week. I hope you're still here the day after tomorrow ... because I would really like to ask you to come have a drink with me ... "

Your cheeks turned red, did he really just ask you for a date? You did not know what to answer. The urge to say yes was so present but you were afraid to rush. Perhaps humor was your only defense

"it depends"

"about what?"

"Does this appointment include a blocking session in an elevator? This is the only way it works"

Owen laughed before giving you a genuine smile, showing his perfectly aligned white teeth. God, what a beautiful man.

"I can try to fix this and find a faulty elevator."

"So expect a text from me"

You smiled back at him and gave him a wink before turning on your heels. Owen's heart skipped a beat and he when he arrived several hours late in the hairdressing section of the set, Charlie laughed at him saying that he had never seen him so happy to have a haircut. hair. But in reality, the blond was only waiting for one thing, and that was to receive a message from you, which arrived in a second.

(y/n) text : "After being stuck in an elevator, here I am stuck in traffic ... Are you sure you want a date with me, you might just end up stuck with me?"

Owen couldn't help but smile broadly.

Owen text : "I'm sure. I'd love to even be stuck with you (again).”

(y/n) text : “Fine, ghost boy. See you soon”

#owen patrick joyner #owen joyner #owen patrick joyner x reader #owen joyner x reader #jatp cast x reader #jatp cast imagine #julie and the phantoms #jatp

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rhenuvee · 4 years ago

Text

The Heart in You pt2 (Fred Weasley x reader)

Request: Could you do something along these lines? Love you soo much <3 your imagines make me happier. It would mean the world to me if you could do this!! Request: Could you write a Fred Weasley imagine where the reader is Fred's best friend but they never really show affection, they insult each other all the time and occasionally Fred flirts, teasingly. But Fred gets all nervous and goes soft when y/n is visiting their home since its so small and you know.. they're poor and stuff... thanks <3

Link to pt1: Here

--------------------------------------------------

You were peacefully walking through the corridors, ready to spend a cozy Sunday afternoon being warm from the cold with your friends. It was quite surprising how little disturbance there was, as if you were in a scene in a movie.

That is, until you heard the sudden roars of laughter, clapping, and awe. You gritted your teeth- you knew that the peace was too good to be true. You decided to change your direction, hoping that this path would bring an end to this once and for all.

This was something you’ve been dealing with for the past week, and it’s been pissing you off. You found the source of the crowd of noise, seeing that it was coming from out in the courtyard. It was just as you expected.

“-and then there I was, cornered! Like a poor gazelle standing out in the open!” narrated a voice you knew too well. You stood watching from a distance with your arms folded, seeing as a specific redhead told a story you almost knew by heart by now.

Just as rehearsed for the past seven days a week, you saw the same dramatic gestures by none other than Fred Weasley. His stupid chocolate brown eyes which you couldn’t bother to look at, his stupid smile which you swore he had on 24/7- Although you had to admit, something even more stupid was the first and second years genuinely interested and believing in his anecdote.

“I almost died, but I stayed strong!” you facepalmed as he scrunched up his face way too dramatically. “She- the lion, sneaking up, ready to jump out and-”

“WEASLEY!” you yelled interrupting him, hearing enough of his crap. It seemed to scare some of the first and second years as they jumped and turned to see you.

“It’s the lion! Run!” shouted Fred. The kids yelled their lungs out and ran in all different directions all to get away from ‘the lion’. You marched your way to Fred, trudging your way towards him. You didn’t care about your shoes getting wet from the snow, all you cared about was slapping that smirk off his face.

“Yes?” he said rather casually from his spot, leaning against the wall.

“Yes? That’s all you have to say to the ferocious lion?” you asked incredulously. He chuckled.

“Actually, I do have something to say, though we may need a spell to translate between your roaring.” You scoffed at his terrible joke.

“I hate you.”

“We know that’s a lie, love.” You rolled your eyes. You knew that the reason the story started in the first place was because of that day you asked him to the yule ball. He tricked you, and his ego was just getting bigger.

“And what makes you think that?” you retorted.

“You’re the one who asked me to the ball, love.” he said scoffing. You mentally slapped yourself for having a question with an obvious answer. The term of endearment definitely didn’t help in trying to hide your embarrassment.

“I was drunk.” you replied quickly. Fred in turn laughed at your quick statement, causing you to laugh a little.

“Really? Then you should get drunk more often.”

“I think you’re drunk, gazelle.” you said poking his chest then turning to leave. Though, this didn’t stop him from hopping from his place and catching up with you.

“Am I now?” he asked pressing further.

“Yes Fred, bye.” you said as you were about to leave him and turn a corner.

“Alright, don’t miss me too much darling!”

“Fred!”

---

“Hey (y/n)!” called someone from behind you. You stopped and turned to see George who was slowing down to stop near your spot.

“Hey George. What’s going on?”

“Are you doing anything this holiday?” he asked.

“Hm, probably just gonna go home for the break, same as every year... why?”

“I was wondering if you’d like to come to ours for Christmas.” Your eyes widened at his offer. You had never been to the burrow before.

“You don’t have to, but I know it would make a certain gazelle really happy.” he teased. You rolled your eyes.

“If it would make him happy, why couldn’t he ask me himself?”

“Well riddle me this, would a gazelle purposely perch itself out in the open where any predator- ow!” You playfully punched George in the arm, seeing as the story was starting to rub on him.

“Sorry- what I meant to say was, it would also make myself, Ginny and Ron really happy. You’re our best friend (y/n)... also, mum’s been asking for you as well.”

“Your mum? Asking about me?” you said shocked.

“You’ve been mentioned here and there.” he said casually. You bit your lip, trying to supress a smile. You were invited to the burrow, which you’ve heard only good things from Harry and Hermione.

“Alright, I’ll send an owl to my parents and ask them.” you said. He nodded with a grin, knowing his twin would be ecstatic to hear this.

---

Your parents were a little surprised that you were going to spend the holidays at the burrow. They’ve never met the twins, just like how Arthur and Molly only heard a few things about you. Nonetheless, they were glad to see you so happy to be with your friends. On another note, you were very very nervous. Maybe it was because of seeing the rest of the Weasley family, but also for very stupid reasons.

“Oh (y/n), it’s so good to finally meet you dear! Come inside now!” You were welcomed by Molly herself, engulfing you in a tight and warm hug. You smiled, instantly relieved that Molly liked you enough to hug you.

“I’ve heard so many things about you.” she said maintaining a bright smile.

“And I’ve heard that you heard many things, all good I hope.” you said.

“Only the best.” she said swiping your cheek then turning to lead you deeper into the house. You walked in, and your eyes couldn’t help put to move left and right.

“(Y/n)!” You then saw Ginny appear, running as fast as she could down the stairs, then jumping and hugging you just like her mother did. You both squealed in excitement.

“Hey idiots! Your favourite person is here!” Ginny yelled calling for the twins.

“Ginny!” scolded Molly with her arms crossed. You giggled. You watched as the two tall figures stepped down to where you were.

“Well look who it is.” George said smirking and leaning in for a hug. Once you pulled away, you saw Fred, but you couldn’t help but notice something was weird about him.

“Hi.” he said curtly, but with a small smile.

“Hey...?” you greeted, letting your confusion be slightly present. He also went in for a hug, though it was a lot lighter than the ones you’ve received so far.

“Do you want any food?” asked Fred.

“Um sure.” you shrugged. You thought it was a little strange that Fred was being so ‘nice’ to you. I mean, like George said, would a gazelle let itself stand in the open and offer food for a predator? But you decided to brush the thought off, besides, you really ought to get that dumb story out of your head.

The first evening with the Weasley’s went well. You were able to meet the rest of the family as well as Harry and Hermione which you realized later that they were here. Molly’s cooking was delicious, and you were glad to be apart of the holiday gathering. You were glad that everyone was willing to welcome you, despite being new to the burrow.

It wasn’t until a couple hours after dinner, when it was late and you spotted Fred and George sitting on the couch, fiddling with what you expected was some of their future joke shop products.

“Hey.” you said heading over to sit with them. George smiled, then quickly jumped up to leave.

“I gotta go to the bathroom. See ya!” he said a bit too joyfully. I mean- tis the season, but one could not be that excited to go to the bathroom. You then scooched closer to Fred, and he noticed with a small grin.

“Hey you.” he said bringing his lanky arm to wrap around you and bring you even closer. You blushed at the extremely close proximity between you two, but if you were being honest, you didn’t mind one bit. This was secretly what you wanted, right?

You remembered the day you asked Fred to the yule ball quite clearly. After that incident, he was a huge ball of chaos and energy. You remember him skipping down halls, and how you had to chase him to shut up when he started the gazelle story.

And when the night of the ball finally arrived, you were a big bundle of nerves- and Fred was being a cocky little shit as usual... but aside from that, there were things he did that made you have the most fun you’ve ever had in your life. You didn’t forget how much he made you laugh and smile that night.

And now, you let the thought of his silence creep over again. He spoke and cracked jokes during dinner, but he was still quieter than you’ve experienced. You sat in the same silence as he seemed to be fixing a product.

“Fred...?” you said looking at him, a little surprised that your faces were closer than you expected.

“Hm?”

“Uh, are you okay?” you asked. You tried to ask it in the most subtle way possible. He only looked at you with an unreadable expression. The weirdest thing being that he had no witty comeback, or any line to start your typical banter.

“Yeah.” he said giving a closed mouthed smile again, then looking back at the joke products. Jeez, why did boys have to be so hard to read? To you at least.

“I just, ‘m surprised you accepted when George invited you here.” he muttered, but you heard it loud and clear.

“And why would you be surprised?” You didn’t know what to feel. His head pointed downwards- suddenly this moment felt really familiar. You were a bit skeptical if you were being truthful. After a long pause, he suddenly chuckled awkwardly to himself and sat up, leaned back until his head was tilted back on the top edge of the couch.

“I’m mad for you.” he said shifting himself so that his head was still tilted back but facing you. All your jumbling thoughts couldn’t force itself out of your mouth. You just sat there, your eyes bulging out of your head, and mouth in an o shape.

“W-what?” you managed to say. Now you were very very skeptical of what was to happen. You do not want to be tricked by him again, and leave you a blushing mess.

“I’m mad for you- do you need me to spell it out?” he asked. With the dim lighting you couldn’t see the slight flush of red on his cheeks. He brought his hand to cover his eyes, still showing his lips which were curved up in a flustered smile.

“I- are you being serious?” you asked in confirmation.

“Am I- yes I am (y/n), I’m mad for you. I said it three times, now you gotta believe me.” he said taking away the hand covering his face. You didn’t even try to hide the pink tinting your face. You shook your head, not knowing what to say.

“You still don’t believe me do you.” he deadpanned. You didn’t answer to that. He chuckled, already knowing your answer. In one swift motion, he cupped your cheek with his hand and brought you in closer for a kiss. You closed your eyes as his lips pressed against and moved in sync with yours.

You moved so that you were able to put both your hands on his shoulders to bring him closer. You could feel the hum from his lips when he heard you let out a little noise. Both of you were speechless blushing messes once you pulled away with the ‘smooch’ sound.

“Believe me now?” he said in almost a whisper. You nodded frantically, earning a smirk from Fred, as well as a beckoning gesture to ask you to cuddle next to him. You followed, snuggling up to his side, resting your head on his shoulder.

...

“I always knew you had a heart in you.”

...

“Excuse me?”

You tried burying your head further inwards, as you attempted to stifle your giggles about to erupt. Yes, you really did just pull that card on Fred Weasley.

“What did you just say?” asked Fred ducking his head to your level, trying to get a glimpse of what he hoped did not just come out of your mouth.

“Nothing!”

“You did not say nothing, princess.” he said trying to pry your hands clutching your face as you finally gave in and let out your laughter. You made the split second decision to bolt out of the living room and into the dining room to run away. Fred of course had no problem running after you.

You were both giggly as heck as you both circled the dining table, which happened to be the only thing protecting you.

“Take it back!’

“No!”

And once you said that, he made a dash for the tight corner and was able to capture you from behind. You squirmed with your legs kicking out as he held you tightly and swung you in a circle.

“Take it back!” he said in your ear.

“I won’t! This is what you get Weasley.”

“What I get? For what?”

“For...-” You realized then that if you said the reason, he would know that he was the reason you got flustered in the first place.

“What? Am I too handsome for you?” he asked as he placed you down, but still pinned you to the counter.

“In your dreams!”

“And in real life too.”

“Ugh, you’re so annoying.” you huffed crossing your arms. However, your attempt at trying not to smile failed horribly when you turned your head away from him.

“That means I won, princess.” he said smirking and tilting your head back to face him.

“Oh shut up Fred, you-”

“Make me shut up-”

“Whoa whoa whoa!” You and Fred both jumped when you saw George and Ginny intrude. And worse, when you were both getting riled up at each other.

“There will be no ‘make me shut up’ in this house.” said George mockingly as Ginny stood next to him laughing. You deadpanned at Ginny clearly not helping the situation.

“You’re not going to encourage them? It’s about time.” said Ginny.

“Gin, if you knew me, you’d know that I’m not even surprised.” replied George sarcastically.

“Oh sod off, both of you. Bein’ two creeps.” said Fred shooing them away. George and Ginny gave each other a knowing look and did as told. Fred then immediately turned back to focusing on you.

“So, what were you thinking on making me shut up?”

#fred weasley #weasley twins #fred and george #Fred Weasley x reader #Fred Weasley fluff #Fred Weasley imagine #fred weasley oneshot #fred weasley one shot

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theexecutionerssong · 5 years ago

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SKAM FRANCE BTS MASTERPOST

This is a master post of BTS anecdotes told in interviews, at cons, screenings and on social media. Don’t click the read more if you don’t want to lose some of the magic. I know sometimes knowing too much of how a show was shot can ruin it. Also, it’s very obvious that there was more promo starting around season 3 than for the first two seasons, don’t hold it against me. Feel free to message me if you think of something else as I must have forgotten a ton of things.

CASTING, REHEARSALS, BTS IN GENERAL

Skam France had the rights for the 4 seasons first but had to follow the original script almost to a T for the first 2 and if the audience was big enough then they would be allowed to distance themselves from OG

Skam France casted actors that were as close personality wise to their characters as possible, which made it easier for the cast to identify with their characters and made the friendships developping between the characters more believable since it was also developping off screen

They were not allowed to cast underaged actors who would have been closer to the real age of the characters due to the long hours of the shooting conditions

Most of the actors come from theatre and many had no or little previous experience with shooting for a camera before

The cast isn’t allowed to watch the clips before they air.

Most of the clothes they wear in the show are their own.

During rehearsals of the first seasons, Philippine went to the board with everyone’s names on it and wrote something funny next to Zoe’s name and wanted to send it to her but she messed up and published it on her ig stories, leaking the entire cast when it was still supposed to be a secret.

Lula’s first reaction when she got the script and “met” Daphné was “oh no I’m scared. I just want to slap her, she’s insufferable”

Assa almost didn’t audition for two reasons: the casting call didn’t specify they were looking for a woman of color and French casting calls almost always say whether they are specifically looking for a black woman. If it says nothing then they are usually looking for a white person. She thought she had no chance because of that. Second reason, after accepting the casting call, she did some research and found out OG Sana was from the Maghreb and she’s not. But her agent convinced her to go through with it, the only thing the skam france team wouldn’t negotiate was that they wanted a Muslim actress. There was no way they would have casted a non muslim actress/actor for Imane and Sofiane.

Skam France was the first TV show on French TV to have a black muslim woman wearing a hijab as a main character

Paul, Robin and Axel knew each other before shooting, they’d met in Avignon.

Coline was still in her last year of high school when she shot the first two seasons.

Niels is the one who came up with a raccoon as Eliott’s spirit animal

They shoot about 15 minutes of usable content per day which is impressive (it’s usually 2-3 for movies released in theatres, 5-7 for TV programs)

When France TV told David the first two seasons were a success and they were renewing the show, he gave them a list of things he wanted to change so that he’d agree to come back to direct the next seasons, including a different camera, renewing the writers team (they included Niels), storylines, the ig content, etc. The new camera they got was a SONY Venice which allows them to play a lot with the focus/blur ratio and the cold and warm undertones, which made a major shift in the visual quality of seasons 3 and 4 compared to the previous 2.

David named Eliott after his son.

Having the teaser from Eliott’s POV was David’s idea. It’s the first remake to have a clip from the French Even’s POV

The bus stop from season 3 is fake, it doesn’t exist. It wasn’t even shot in Paris itself but in Saint Ouen.

Maxence didn’t watch OG - besides the towels in the bathroom clip - because he wanted to create his own Eliott without being too influenced, and he didn’t watch s1 and 2 of skam france either because he wanted Eliott to discover the characters without knowing their backgrounds.

Maxence wasn’t supposed to audition. He wanted to be done with his acting school before shooting anything but the head of the casting team came to watch a public class at his school and asked him to audition for Eliott at the end. David and Niels knew right away he was the one. Niels watched the audition tapes and was very impressed with another actor but within the first 3 seconds of watching Maxence, he knew it wouldn’t be anyone else. Maxence met Axel after the 3rd call back and they clicked right away. He’d broken his foot two days earlier so he was in crutches. They watched Even’s manic episode and had to improvise a similar scene but had to do with the crutches. They also went for a drink before shooting and they talked for hours, their connection was instantaneous.

When he learned Maxence was cast, Axel went on his instagram and saw the model pictures and thought he was way too hot with the abs and everything and he himself would look like a potato during the nude scenes next to him. So he got a coach and for 3 months he trained and got on a very strict diet. He was disappointed that there were no shots where you could actually see his abs properly in Skam. He had also said months before that he had gotten a coach because before they started shooting seasons 3 and 4, he had met up with Marilyn to get advice on how to carry a season and she had told him to get a coach otherwise he wouldn’t be able to keep up with the pace. So what is the truth?

It leaked that Maxence was casted in July 2018 because someone on a Korean website recognized his shoes in an IG story from when he’d been spotted at the airport months earlier but it was kept mostly under wraps. Then his and Lais’s names leaked too a couple of months later but most people hadn’t seen his face before the trailer.

David asked Axel and Maxence to give up their phones and social media during the couple of months they were shooting to be really focused and not get distracted by the outside world and they mostly did. Axel bought an mp3 to still have music, he wrote “LUCAS ♥” on it with a white out pen. He created a playlist for Lucas, including songs like Run Boy Run and I love you by Woodkid, and To Build a Home by the Cinematic Orchestra.

Maxence’s process to get ready for a shot: he does yoga and dances a lot in the morning. he puts music on and paces a room while picturing himself standing on the edge of a cliff and if at some point he feels like falling and loses his balance, it means he’s got it. He asks that all the scripts he gets be printed on the right side of the page and on the left he takes notes about what the character is feeling through 7 different states: love, hate, fear, power, vulnerability, sex and i hate myself for not remembering the last one. To play a scene properly, you have to conjure up 4 states to create one emotion. He loves that David respects his method and is able to adapt to every member of the cast’s method. He also uses his body as a tool, for example if his character has to feel lonely or unsure, he will curl up into a ball for an hour without moving and then he’ll be in the right mindset because his body is telling him he’s isolated. That’s the method he used for Eliott, he created “lost scenes” that weren’t in the script, moments in between scenes with Lucas, to get more into Eliott’s mindset.

Maxence wrote a letter to Eliott, drew a picture of him, and spent hours adding notes to the script about his personality before even trying to get into his mind.

There was a contest for the drawings in season 3. Maxence participated but didn’t get picked. Jeanne Lelièvre did!

All the social media content for seasons 3 and 4 were shot on the same day in December 2018 which is why you can see heavy winter clothing even when the content was published in May. For season 3, most ideas were Axel’s, and Maxence said no to 90%.

While shooting for seasons 3 and 4, Axel was also on stage every night for theatre

To prepare for his role in s3, Axel watched CMBYN, Moonlight, and The Office

They received more feedbacks from international fans than French ones at first. It was even a private joke between Niels and David, there were no comments in French on Youtube. Then the piano clip happened and David’s phone went crazy with notifications. He was in the editing room with Jérémy and the buzzing from his phone was non stop. They banned phones in the editing room after that.

Skam France owes part of its popularity to how accessible the cast and crew are, either on social media or IRL, with 6 entirely free events organized to get the fans and the cast and crew to meet, watch episodes together and have Q&As during seasons 3 and 4.

Skam France shooting locations have become extremely popular for the fans to hang out at and leave little mementos, to the point that the mayor of Paris has asked the team to pick completely untraceable locations, or make sure they are not in Paris itself for the next seasons

Skam France was the first remake to get renewed for 2 (possibly 4?) original seasons

Alexia and Daphné were supposed to have their own seasons they but couldn’t get the green light from Norway. He got the idea for Arthur’s story quite quickly after but they had to rework the scripts for seasons 5 and 6 a lot. Robin talked to David about his addiction to video games and how it could be a potential theme but in the end David chose deafness instead.

SEASONS 1 AND 2

It was Coline’s idea to make Alexia bi. There was a scene when Alexia mentions an ex boyfriend and she asked David “why wouldn’t it be a girl?” and his only reaction was “Ok. What’s her name?” and that’s how bi!Alexia was born.

It was also Coline’s idea to give Alexia’s colorful hair. She later regretted it because she had to bleach her hair twice to get the blue to stay and it fried her hair.

Assa’s worst memory of shooting s1 and 2 is when the girls have to carry Daphné, she kept dropping her and was afraid of hurting her.

Marilyn and Lula ruined the scene when the girls are having breakfast all together when they are on the countryside because they couldn’t stop laughing over carrots and the crunchy noise it was making. It was the last day of shooting and their nerves were all over the place.

SEASON 3

The first scene in the common room didn’t hit them that much, they didn’t realize the impact it would have because the whole shooting was just David yelling at them to look at each other then stop then do it again then stop etc

Nobody realized how big of an impact the “Moi c’est Eliott” line would have and then when they watched the clip, it was obvious.

The check de gang wasn’t scripted, it was Paul’s idea to make it a running gag. David wasn’t sure about it but after doing it just once, he was sold. Basile tripping over the bench was also Paul’s idea but he didn’t warn anyone he was doing it so Xavier started laughing and the camera was shaking so bad that they couldn’t keep it and had to reshoot the scene. They noticed during the editing process that Robin also tripped at the same time in the background during one take so they had to keep that one.

Lucas playing the piano was Axel’s idea even though he didn’t know how to play properly. He sent a text to David at the end of June with different ideas for songs and David picked the most difficult one. He then practiced anytime he could until they shot the scene in october. It took him two months to learn it completely and then a little more to make it look easy. (Niels later said it was his idea and that Axel was a cheeky little shit). Maxence had never heard Axel play the song before that moment so Eliott’s reaction is genuine. He didn’t think he’d manage to get in the right state of mind because the apartment was too small for the whole team and they were all very cranky, it was 3 am, but the moment he heard the first notes, he forgot all about it and was completely amazed.

The infiltration party: David asked that Basile pushes Daphné a bit, like shoves her out of the way when they have to run, but they hadn’t had the time to rehearse anything. After a couple of takes, Paul pushed Lula a bit too hard and she fell on her knees quite hard. He felt so bad because he never wanted to hurt her and they all had to take a half an hour break because her knees hurt. David after that was like OKAY NO MORE STUNTS EVER.

Axel got mad at the makeup department because the two lines on his face were not on the same place when they shot the outside scene and then once inside. He got so angry he could have cried that they wouldn’t believe him. So during the shooting he looked straight at the camera and wiped them away with the back of his hand to force them to draw the lines properly.

The first kiss scene: they had been shooting for 12 hours. It was raining intermittently all day so the team had to pack up the cameras often and wait it out when it was too much. They ran 4 hours late. They had a fake rain machine but no change of clothes so they could only shoot once. Below the bridge is not easily accessible, it’s a long path from the gate, so they used ropes to get things up and down from the bridge. They only had one shot. They had already shot kissing scenes but David was always telling them it had to be more passionate and kept yelling at them to use more tongue so for that shot they gave it their everything on the first (and only) take they did. 5 minutes later they were shooting the Remember scene.

They shot all the scenes in the colloc on the first week of shooting. Minute by minute was shot right before Samedi 9h17. They had to restart shooting samedi 9h17 four times because something wasn’t working between Axel and Maxence, they were clumsy and stressed. After taking 5 minutes to themselves with David to remind themselves of how pivotal the scene was, Axel and Maxence said they were ready and they shot the opening scene that made the cut.

The Phase de latence clip : Axel and Maxence felt like terrible actors because they had already shot all the big very emotional scenes and this was a bit tamer since Eliott doesn’t show much emotions. They felt that way about all the scenes shot in the school.

The Fête de trop clip: They shot the fight with the guys 8 times but it wasn’t enough for David until Robin slapped Axel on the 9th. After that they shot Chloé yelling at Lucas. Axel was still out of it due to the slap he’d gotten earlier that he hadn’t expected. At 3am, they finished with Lucas injuring his hands. Axel cracked the metacarpus in his hand and only told David two days later.

Leo has talked about the coming out bench scene and said Yann took it a bit too far and was too dramatic, he was like “i don’t know if i can say that… but c’mon… I mean. C’mon… that’s your best friend… who cares if he didn’t tell you right away, he had bigger problems on his mind, right?”He would have done it differently.

The “viens on n’en parle pas” scene was shot in 50 minutes in the middle of the night on the second day of shooting. Marilyn and Axel’s emotions were briming under the surface so it was one of the easiest scene to shoot.

The hardest scene to shoot for David in s3 was the intervention clip. It was the second day of shooting, the 4th clip of the day. Axel’s first take was not good enough and David was scared it would set the tone for the season. He had a stern talk with Axel. Thankfully, they shot a second time and it was the right one, everyone on set was crying and Axel was completely drained.

The scene where they go get the couch from the creepy place is the one they shot last for season 3.

The paint scene: they only had one try. Axel and Maxence hadn’t shot together for a week, David had done it on purpose and they’d missed each other. It was shot on a Friday at the exact time it was supposed to happen IRL. The whole thing lasts 14 minutes long. David took their pants off because they were slipping too much. Xavier almost stopped filming he was like “is he serious? did he just take their pants off??”. They shot a part when one of them slips on the ground and the other follows but that didn’t make the cut. There were 25 people on set, everyone in a suit to protect from the paint, but Axel and Maxence forgot everyone and just got lost in their characters. When David yelled cut, Axel and Maxence didn’t hear him and kept making out. David had to separate them. Then they all were so happy that they yelled their joy but then saw all the people who were behind the camera, and everyone was crying, like they had witnessed something too intimate. They showered for an hour, emptied 2 bottles of soap and even then it wasn’t enough, Axel still had paint running down his neck at a party that evening. The music used on set was Dreamer, the Khlar remix. Maxence was upset it wasn’t the one they ended up using in the clip, it felt like a betrayal because it “wasn’t the song they had made love to”.

Maxence fought with the costume department over the briefs he was wearing in the paint scene, because they had shot the PONI scene first and he could remember which ones he was wearing for the PONI scene and he wanted to wear the same ones. He was sure people would notice.

The first scene Maxence ever shot was the PONI scene.

The boat scene was quite special. It was a big moment for Maxence, he was extremely nervous, so David reduced the team on set as much as he could. Maxence got upset at Axel for being too present during the scene. Being used to a theatre stage, Axel is always a bit over the top, eating his ham with a flourish, stuff like that, but this was supposed to be Eliott’s big scene. Maxence asked for a break and told David that if Axel didn’t tone it down, he’d kill him. That also got resolved quickly.

The Remember Me scene: the priest is Lula’s dad. Lula and Niels both make a cameo in the church. They forgot to warn Axel that a car was coming when he’s running so his reaction is genuine. He was running so fast, the minivan with the camera couldn’t keep up so they shot it twice. They shot Lucas finding Eliott under the bridge just after shooting the first kiss. Maxence only had 4 minutes to get into the right state of mind which was extremely challenging and during that time he had to change his clothes, dry his hair and redo his makeup. Axel wasn’t feeling very well, he was exhausted after having shot 4 clips that day, but David told him he could do it so he ran on the path to the bridge harder than ever (David thought he was going to hurt his sinews) and when he fell to his knees, he was close to passing out, you can actually hear when he says the first “t’es pas tout seul” that he’s about to throw up / can’t breathe properly. They only shot that part once and after it was done David told them they should hug each other because what they had just done with Lucas and Eliott was precious and a moment to remember.

There was supposed to be a scene after the Remember scene but it was cut. Eliott is sleeping, Lucas brings him food and starts reading his book and then Eliott wakes up. They say hi, Eliott is confused about the time it is, it’s already late afternoon. He says he needs to leave, but Lucas tells him no. He keeps saying he has to go, he has to go to his parents. Lucas tells him it’s fine, they’ve been warned of where he is. But he says he’s got to leave anyway. Lucas asks him why he keeps insisting he needs to leave and Eliott tells him he just doesn’t want Lucas to see him like this. Lucas tells him he doesn’t mind. Then he starts teasing him, saying Eliott just wants to leave because he doesn’t want to own up to the fact that he lied to him. Eliott is confused. Lucas reminds him that he’d said there was no way he would ever be able to sleep next to a guy that hot (on the boat) and yet here they are actually taking naps. So Eliott must have lied to Lucas about finding him hot. Eliott says he’s an idiot and Lucas tells him that at least he’s not a liar at that what matters is that he is his idiot. “Congrats, you’re now the owner of an idiot… more or less hot” Eliott tells him he’s won and asks what they should do now. Lucas answers that they should start by saying hi properly and they kiss, and when they pull back they just look at each other whispering “salut”. Axel said he was upset at David for cutting the scene because it was so soft and intimate, he called him when he watched the episode to ask why he cut it, but it would have been too repetitive with the following Lundi 17h21 clip.

Lundi 17h21 is the second clip Maxence shot. Lucas’s “T’es beau quand tu rigoles” wasn’t scripted, Axel changed the script, he was supposed to say something about liking seeing Eliott smile.

The Je t’aime scene: the first shot they did was the most emotional one, it was one of the hardest scenes emotionally for Axel. He was crying so so much, he had tears and snot everywhere, and Maxence was just wiping it away so tenderly that David thought about keeping that shot but the snot was REALLY disgusting so they didn’t keep it. They shot it a few more times, except that then Maxence had to leave. So the shot of Lucas saying Moi aussi is actually to David. Axel said it didn’t feel weird because he does love David so it felt true.

SEASON 4

Assa sat down with the team before they wrote anything for the season and told them her whole life story. It lasted 4 hours and she cried when reading the script because they had included so many things she had told them, it felt like her and Imane were one.

Making Assa dance was Philippine’s idea. David asked her what she thought about when thinking of Assa, something that was really her and Philippine said “Dada, you should see her dance”

Moussa and Assa knew each other before since they had filmed together 5 years prior, a movie in which they already were siblings. They feel like siblings in real life.

The worst clip to shoot was on Lais’s first day of shooting, it was the bus clip. The shooting conditions were terrible, there was too much noise, and the crew was tired from having shot the 3 bus stop clips from season 3 earlier that day. David was convinced there would be nothing to save and they would have to rent another bus but the team worked their magic in post prod and it turned out amazing.

They shot the scene with Imane, Lucas and Eliott in class the day after Halloween. Maxence was at a party the night before and lost track of time. He had to take a taxi straight from the party to the set at 6am and showed up in full zombie costume and makeup.

Charles come back: it had been cloudy and raining all day but the moment the camera was on the girls’ faces, a ray of sunlight appeared and the wind blew in their hair, making it a real dramatic moment. Too good to pass on, it’s the shot they kept.

The fight between Lucas and Eliott that we vaguely hear in the background was just gibberish. Axel and Maxence hadn’t prepared anything and Axel just ended up shouting at Maxence things like YOU LIED TO ME BEFORE ABOUT LUCILLE YOU MIGHT BE DOING IT AGAIN ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE and Maxence NO I WOULD NEVER - BUT YOU DID - NO I WOULDN’T - YES YOU DID - NO and they kept going in circles so David was like “guys��. please, you might want to start screaming about something else or this is gonna sound very repetitive” but in the end we can barely hear anything so it didn’t matter much

When Alex comes to pick up Emma to go to the cinema, Assa had a break down and couldn’t stop laughing, hiding under a blanket and making all the girls laugh too with her. David had to scold them a bit to get them to stop.

Lais also ruined a clip by laughing for 15 minutes straight, it’s the clip at Imane’s house when they talk about the fair. It was the longest 15 minutes of the crew’s life.

The oui oui song during Daphné’s birthday party wasn’t planned, the team just lost control of the cast. Axel started it and everyone followed. The cast are actually terrible extras. They are too dramatic and noticeable in the background so party scenes like Daphné’s birthday were a nightmare to shoot.

Assa and Laïs rehearsed the Unknown dance clip every chance they got between every take, everyone kept tripping on them in the corridors.

The last sequences they filmed were actually the last clips at Imane’s house for the Eïd. Axel isn’t in the last shot because he had to leave for his play. He actually ruined the very last clip of season 4 by shouting his goodbyes to David from across the corner.

SEASON 5

The auditions for season 5 and 6 were held in June. Lucas was spotted through his youtube channel and asked to audition.

Coline learned sign language by herself after an initiation class with the whole team. She started signing in July and has been practicing ever since. Robin took a one week class in September and then kept practicing by himself and with the D/deaf people on set. David and the rest of the team also took an initiation class.

Robin doesn’t like water and was anxious about the scenes in the pool. David got in the water with Xavier, Robin and Winona to reassure him and direct them better. They limited the number of extras around the pool because of that.

The place where Eliott works is where David used to work when he was younger.

Coline wrote a song for the season

They couldn’t leave the mural in the high school so they took it off the wall (it wasn’t actually painted on the wall itself) and cut it into pieces. There are a few pieces framed on the walls of Lucas and Eliott’s flat.

#skam france #skam france bts #gaelle parle

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softestsaddestbitch · 4 years ago

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December TC Challenge

stole this from @elder-edda (sorry for creeping! just, given the usual demographic of the tc community I was excited to find another 20-smthg)

1) what color is your tc’s hair?

He has just, simple brown hair but he’s starting to go grey which, no lie, is 100% doing it for me.

2) is your tc married?

Yes? He doesn’t wear a ring and I believe she kept her last name which makes me think it’s more of a civil partnership since they’ve been together since the early 2000s at least. But he also will refer to her as “my wife” and was telling me once that they waited until “after they got married” before moving in together.

3) if yes, do you care? would you do something with them regardless of their marriage?

I know these questions are general but I do take offense at the idea of being a homewrecker/other woman. I’ve met his wife, she’s really nice.

4) what’s your worst memory with your tc?

I put my foot in my mouth SO OFTEN. Good lord. Especially my last semester at that school? He was acting weird and I had just realized after fucking ... four years?? that I romantically liked him. So I kept bringing up my weird age fixation and other bs bc I have adhd and am possibly autistic?? and can’t read a room to save my life.

5) what’s your best memory with your tc?

One year we had a really bad snowstorm, so bad in fact that I had my first-ever snow day. The college that I used to go to has four campuses across as many cities, and C has to drive in twice a week to my (old) town from his. Now, morning classes had been canceled but afternoon classes had been given the go-ahead. C, who does not check his emails until he arrives at campus, evidently did not get this message until he was already in town and therefore didn’t have a morning class, but did have an afternoon class. On this day I had a late morning class that had been reinstated, but my prof didn’t get that memo so I also was on campus but didn’t have a class. So I went to visit his office, which I had been doing throughout the semester (I didn’t have a class with him at the time) and we just ... hung out for like 2 hours. It was so nice and one of the anecdotes he told me still haunts me lol.

sidenote: at the time, I hadn’t yet realized that I liked him, but I still went out of my way to visit him. Damn I was a dumbass.

6) does anyone in your school know how you feel?

ish? I told a classmate but in a “haha joking” kinda way. And a friend who went to that school knows. No one at my current school knows.

7) does your tc know how you feel?

I think he might? might have a lil inkling which would explain why he started acting so weird my last semester. Or at the very least was told/realized how bad it could look that he was getting so chummy w/ a student.

8) do you think there’s any chance your tc reciprocates your feelings?

He and his wife have been together for around 20 years now. No. No, I don’t think so. Maybe in an alternate universe.

9) are you getting your tc a christmas present? if so, what is it?

I have in the past! Specifically like, a tin of cookies lol. I’ve also given him an actual present when I left. I do intend to send him a Christmas card every year but not this year because ... you know ... the apocalypse.

10) have you ever flirted with your tc?

Flirtation inherently has intent. So, no. How he interpreted our interactions I don’t know.

11) how long have you had a crush on them? what began it all?

SO! TIMELINE!

I was at my old school from September 2014-April 2019, I had C for the first time in September 2015. Like I mentioned above, I did not realize I had a crush on him until literally the middle of my final exam of my class with him December 2018, so I’ve only consciously had a crush for about two years now. However, as I also mentioned, I went out of my way to stop by his office, even when I didn’t have a class with him. And my relationship with/feelings towards him are complicated so I’m not going to say I did so solely because I like him, but I would put it maybe closer to somewhere in 2017. You don’t plan your schedule around someone you don’t feel strong feelings for.

12) do you believe you’ll get over them shortly after you stop taking their class/have the chance to spend time with them?

As of today, it has been been exactly a year and a half since I last him in person. In the time since, I have cried over missing him, routinely gone back to keep up with his current research projects, and made his picture a part of my home screen. I almost exclusively listen to the playlist I made for him - so much so my Spotify Wrapped is pretty much that playlist with a few extras.

13) what kind of grades do you get in their class?

Haaaaaa pre-supension I was failing his classes. My first semester back I got .... a mid/high 70? and I finished my last class with him with an A+ and the essay I had written for his class had the highest grade between the two classes so..

14) does your tc ever do any tiny, little things that you adore?

When he puts a hand in his pocket and leans against the wall. When he tucks his hair behind his ear because he keeps falling in his face (he has long hair, a little past his shoulders). When he can’t stop himself from googling something even if its in the middle of class. How you can ask him anything at any time. The way he would chuckle at my jokes. How his handwriting hasn’t improved in decades. How easily he brushes off toxic masculinity. His candidness and willingness to share little anecdotes. The way he used to always smile whenever he saw me. That he goes home everyday to have lunch with his wife.

15) are you their favorite student?

I was! And it was obvious to other students that we had a friendly, casual relationship too. For a time, if his other students had questions about him they would ask me, and I usually had the answer. I didn’t matter in the long run, but I was.

16) do you two share any tastes? movies, books, music, etc.

He’s a legal historian, I’m a baby legal/political historian. We also like the same historical cooking youtube channel.

17) is your teacher religious?

I doubt he would say he’s religious, but I feel like we have a similar relationship to religion which is to say no formal association, but had profound effects on our childhoods and subsequently, presumably, how we view things as adults.

18) do you masturbate to them?

Yes.

19) do you communicate with them outside of school?

I sent him a meme once. And asked about the socialist uprising scandal he was apart of. I also almost emailed him while at a museum exhibition with my history friend. These are all through email.

20) do you have any tc songs or songs you relate to your tc? what are they?

SO my number one song this year was “You are the Reason” by Calum Scott because, you guessed it, of him. But also:

I Lost a Friend - Finneas When You’re Ready - Shawn Mendes You Are in Love - Taylor Swift Break My Heart Right - James

& given the season, especially w/ what transpired last year, Last Christmas by Wham!

21) what’s your favorite thing your tc has said/memory you have with them?

One time he kinda trailed off in the middle of lecture after stating that he thought of xyz a particular way which contrasted one of the popular schools of thought, and the way he plainly said, “well, yeah, which I guess ... is I’m arguing it” almost like he was semi-surprised with himself has always stuck with me.

But also, in addition the memory I shared earlier, we spent an hour and a half talking about grad school and what to expect and how to get there.

22) do you plan to continue a relationship with them after you leave school?

I trid, I really did. But he doesn’t “socialize with students part or present” so I can’t exactly see him. But I did get some academic-related from him at the beginning of the year.

23) how will you deal during the summer? will you see him/her?

He’s a hermit who used my last vacation before I moved to go on all the vacations he had to postpone because he was working on his last book. And this past summer ... Covid. This question is obviously directed at high school students, but in general, he lives in the back of head always, and when I’m in my hometown for the summer my heart aches because theres a none-zero chance I’ll see him, but I know I won’t.

24) does your tc support gay rights?

Yes. He’s never been put in a position that I know of where he had to outright condemn homophobia, but in one of his classes, he actively made the choice to make the very first reading of the semester about how women in ancient times had more agency than assumed, and also how the woman in the case study was a lesbian.

25) what class do you have with them? And what period? Do you have them every day?

History classes. I won’t get into specifics because it’s kind of an eclectic mix and I’m paranoid someone from the area could come across this. But I had him twice a week every semester that I had him. Again this kind of question is more so applicable to high school students, not so much university students.

26) have you ever drifted out during a lecture thinking about them and missed information?

No. In his classes he is too enthralling, and I’m a good student otherwise.

27) have you stalked them online? what did you find out?

In theory. He’s a fifty-year-old history professor whose reaction to a description of the big lipped/tiny face filter on snapchat was “that sounds disgusting.” The man doesn’t have social media, and if he does those privacy settings are on so students can’t find him he thinks he’s very professional. I do visit his mini-bio section on the college website fairly often tho.

28) have you ever run into them outside of schools? what happened?

I did once. He introduced me to his wife, who said “oh you’re E! C has talked about you” and it apparently he had done so positively, and blew my mind because this was back when I was failing classes and also, as a person, I don’t believe that people think about me when I’m not there. They gave me a restaurant recommendation and afterwards his wife surprised me a they were leaving the restaurant because ... we had listened to them, and they also went there for lunch that day.

29) has your tc ever spoken of teacher-student relationships? what did they say?

It had recently come out that it had been found out that another professor had been in a relationship with a student and he’s the one that brought it up before class one day (with all of us not just me). He didn’t say anything for or against it, just that it was generally discouraged, but that most schools did have policies in place to handle the situation.

30) do you regret telling anyone about your tc? if you’ve kept it a secret, why have you done so?

Absolutely not. I can’t tell my best friends because they’d do nothing but give me shit for it and it would call every time I mention him into question. But the friends that I have told ... its been so freeing, and like a weight has been lifted from my heart. One friend in particular I unloaded on her all my emotional shit pertaining to him this past summer and she was so understanding it legit since then I’ve been less distraught when thinking about him. It still hurts, but it feels less like I’m suffocating now.

#personal #professor crush #professor crush community #teacher crush #monthly challenge #december

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greatatmakingmemes · 4 years ago

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Wooden Overcoats: Antigone in the Spotlight

RP sentence starters from Season 3, Episode 5, “Antigone in the Spotlight” from “Wooden Overcoats”. Feel free to change pronouns, etc. to better suit your muse(s)! TW for arson, death, mild sexual content.

“Everyone’s here!”

“Quick, take these matches and copy of the script, go on and start a fire!”

“You’ve got nerve talking to me after what I saw in that dressing room.”

“You know, I actually thought you were my friend.”

“I should have listened to you.”

“As of that little incident just now, we are no longer on speaking terms.”

“If I could only travel back in time, I’d make sure we’d never started.”

“Look! This place has got coffee!”

“What’s wrong with live performance?”

“That’s not a table. That’s her coffin.”

“Are you sure it isn’t sacrilege? I haven’t got coasters.”

“She wanted to be present at the reading of her last play. That isn’t too much to ask, is it?”

“You make her sound like an egomaniac.”

“It’s the most ridiculous venture we’ve ever engaged in.”

“If this is our production, why is he starring in it?”

“There are no small parts, only bad ones.”

“The smoking hot, fit one from the circus?”

“Is she bringing the whip?”

“I think she’s here. An elephant’s just pulled up.”

“Who can’t sweep forty dead clowns under the carpet these days?”

“Her top hat was alarmingly jaunty.”

“So, we meet again.”

“Do you mind if I smoke?”

“I am doing this for my old friend, [name].”

“Though I run a circus, I will not tolerate clowning around.”

“I’m surprised they let us back in after last year.”

“He bellowed some fairly unholy language.”

“Where is the one they call, [Name]?”

“I was the Phantom of the Opera for a few weeks on Broadway.”

“Your anecdotes are wasting time.”

“I’ll park the car.”

“She loves him but never told him.”

“You could tell the story in three minutes if they stopped being silly about it. All the talking is self-indulgent.”

“Now you’re an expert on the human condition?”

“Do you recall our parents ever speaking to each other?”

“What do you know about theatre, [name]?”

“It’s also a load of crap.”

“Together we shall make these dead words live!”

“Are you with me?”

“That was strong work today and strong work deserves strong liquor.”

“I want her to pick me up and put me in her hat.”

“I don’t want to make it better; I want to do it as it is.”

“He didn’t offer to buy me a drink.”

“You think I’m blind?”

“Do you want someone to rub your feet for a while?”

“We make a great team.”

“I can’t believe I’m back so soon.”

“Yes, God moves in mysterious ways.”

“I should never have left.”

“There are some needs greater than any one man’s.”

“I believe she has something to say to you.”

“We haven’t even got a real car.”

“It should be sexy.”

“What if [Name] took his shirt off?”

“You can jump him.”

“Whatever helps you out.”

“Who prefers sex?”

“She can’t just walk into a room and get what she wants.”

“How can you possibly care about someone who can’t admit to what they want?”

“Go away!”

“Have you gone mad?”

“Sucks to be you!”

“You will rue this day.”

“I’m running away to rejoin the circus.”

“I’m in charge! You have to do what I tell you or else!”

“I had to crush the coffee beans with my teeth.”

“We can cancel the show.”

“Let’s all put our heads together and devise a plausible excuse.”

“I could burn the theater down.”

“If you get caught, then we don’t know each other.”

“[Name], you’re not helping.”

“One must accept one’s limitations and avoid lost causes.”

“I was never meant to be in the scouts.”

“That was just ridiculous scheme in a long line of ridiculous schemes for a cause so lost it might as well be in another universe.”

“If anyone can do it properly, I can.”

“Can you see me and [Name] ever happening? I could.”

“Can you test me on my line?”

“It was too much, too late.”

“Between the two of us, we can do this.”

“This man - you want him. You want this man deeply, but he doesn’t know and he never can know.”

“Do you like yourself?”

“Is this the day you step from the shade or will you forever be confined to the darkness?”

“Please tell me this wasn’t a mistake.”

“If things go proper pear shaped, I’ve got a plan. You give the word and I’ll hit the fire alarm.”

“I’ve been looking forward to this! I’ve heard its dreadful.”

“You’re girlfriend isn’t here?”

“Break a leg.”

“Why was I even born?”

“I should really let you solve this.”

“What’s going on and why should I care?”

“If you’re here to kill me, can you do it now?”

“I am not here to harm you. In fact, quite the opposite.”

“The two of us have reached an understanding.”

“You have me now.”

“That’s quite a change of heart.”

“I read the whole thing again and again until I could see it through your eyes.”

“No one has ever dared to confront me the way you did.”

“You are unique.”

“You are a Titan.”

“I am in love with you.”

“Do not speak. Despite what i have said, you must not accept me.”

“For the sake of our art, you cannot accept me.”

“Why do you deny me?”

“You’re so cruel.”

“I offer you everything, yet you throw it away.”

“What the hell is going on?”

“It is everything you think and more.”

“Who cares about her?”

“I don’t know what’s happened!”

“I can’t handle anything else right now!”

“Couldn’t you lie to me, just for an evening?”

“I don’t have pity for you.”

“I am not angry. You were honest and I am honest.”

“No one could have done it better.”

“Why is anything?”

“Why won’t anyone help me?”

“I think the chauffeur should be Scottish.”

“That was unkind.”

“We need a plan… sort of… now.”

“The show must go on.”

“It’s gonna work, okay?”

“I see, you’ve got some secret plan worked out to make it all better.”

“She’s difficult to root for.”

“Her life’s gone by. It’s kind of pathetic. I feel sorry for her more than anything.”

“You’re stealing ideas!”

“Corruption in the media gets worse every day.”

“It really is you! And it really is me!”

“I feel like I’ve been wasting my time and if I told you why, I’d be wasting even more of my time.”

“I suppose all I have to say to you, ultimately, is that I have nothing to say to you.”

“Does someone have a tissue?”

“I would say we’re about equal now for embarrassing public performances.”

“Well, I suppose we’ve learned you can’t please all the people all the time, but you can please one of the people for three minutes of amateur theatre.”

“At the risk of always being the messenger, there’s someone over there who’d like a word with you.”

“I am sorry about the sprinklers.”

“You are never going to top that for an ending.”

“Maybe some things are better left unsaid.”

“Timing is everything.”

“The guys are going out for drinks… you wanna come?”

“I’d had enough drama for one night.”

#rp meme #roleplay meme #sentence starter meme #wooden overcoats #wooden overcoats s3 ep5

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beabaseball · 5 years ago

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this is a delirious 11pm post for Adults Only guys

Leave this space, child!

...

...y’all teenagers are going to be tweaked out of their goddamn minds.

Like, not necessarily in the drugged way, though some maybe yes in the drugged way, but like. Specifically in the non-drug way, they’re going to be snippy, and inattentive, and self centered. And that’s probably fine.

Like. Of course teens are self-centered, their bodies are doing weird shit for the first time and people keep making jokes they don’t understand yet, and some of these fuckers haven’t been given sex ed so they don’t even know what’s coming.

The younger teens have just emerged from the child form that has only just started being able to comprehend a larger world. In elementary school, sure I was reading time magazine for kids and we prayed for people who were being reported (religious school; recent tsunami, it happens) and when I was in 1st or 2nd grade we heard rumors that once upon a time women weren’t allowed to do the same stuff as men, but like— you can feel those things, but it’s not really something that you comprehend unless it’s right then a part of your life. I remember the first time I really ‘got’ sexism was in ninth grade in a gym class of 24 boys to 3 + me girls, and I wrote bad poetry about it in my phone for like three months trying to process it.

When I was like 16 our car broke down midway to school and we had to call my dorm parent to come drive me the next 5 mins, and so he’s in a bad mood bc he has to pick me up, and mom is in a bad mood bc car she gets a feeling dorm parent didn’t believe her when she said the car broke down, and it’s like 80 out but more importantly the humidity is a swamp, and I just remember being in his car driving the rest of the way to school and he’s complaining about sunburns bc he’s super pale and Irish, but he’s trying to talk so I kind of say “huh well i’ve never gotten a sunburn. I tan real fast and then go inside and I’m white again.”

and even in the moment I remember being like “that’s not really what he wanted to hear” and I think he even made a face, but I was too out of it and hot and tired to really do anything passed that. And I do feel kind of bad about it? Like, I did not mean to demean his pain of sunburns and I know also that at the time he was having A Rough Time with his marriage, to the point where he had us doing religious plays about parenthood for three seasons straight.

But also, I was a teenager. And looking back I can’t exactly blame my past self for just kinda... saying some words and feeling bad the rest of the car ride but also too tired to care. Theater teacher man wasn’t a bad guy; we were definitely not good at reading each other and he thought musicals sucked, but he also was the one who comforted me out of a panic attack when we had a tornado warning and I ended up convinced my daystudent friend was going to die.

Because that’s what I cared about at the time. Me-related things. Yes, tornado, but I am worried about one (1) person, and that mattered to me. I stayed behind when we got an actual sex-ed person in 7th grade because I was scared that reading yaoi would send me to hell. I had a breakdown in front of my history professor because one of my friends was discovering her gender identity and I was scared I was ‘losing her’ (you know the words!)

Now, someone comes out to me or someone doesn’t understand a term and I’m over here like “yea which definition u wanna use” but back then I was a kid and I had never experienced anything like this before, my hormones were wild—which didn’t mean I was horny and wanted boyfriend, it meant I was in constant fear of bleeding through things and every now and then I would wake up and my body would be in surprise unknowable pain (aka I was finally big enough to cut off my own circulation in my sleep and also growing pains)

Now, I’ve got a lot of that under control. When I wake up with a body in pain I usually know why and probably it is my fault actually. I know a bit better how to get through days when I’m too hot, or too groggy, or just dissociation or mad. (The trick is: say aloud, “sorry if I’m not responding much, I’m just really hot/groggy/out of it/still upset about that.” )

That’s not something a lot of teens have down yet. I saw a kid with a naruto shirt on at work once and I said “hey naruto” and he looked at me like he’d seen the face of god, he was so surprised someone knew what naruto was. To someone even MILDLY in my age range, the idea of not knowing who Naruto is is preposterous. But this was like, 12-15 year old at the most. Not hit his growth spurt yet. Just absolutely blindsided that there was an outside world which recognized something he liked, which I’m gonna wildly guess his parents probably aren’t into or don’t talk about it with him, because the thought of talking Naruto with your kid is horrifying.

Obviously, thinking other people don’t know about naruto is a similar kind of self-centered thought along the lines of “I bet thigh chick isn’t a REAL fan of x” or “EVERYONE has an opinion on me and there is no in between” where like the world... sort of revolves around you.

And like, once that person grows up if they keep that sort of self-focus, that’s usually the time you start trying to ditch them, but even older teens are still just coming out of that larval childhood state. They know a lot more about the world than we probably did at their age—I know a lot of them aren’t having the same existential crisis over their friends’ gender like I did, which is a big ol step— but there are still days that it’s going to be too much new shit to deal with, plus whatever else is happening inside them personally. And it’ll take a while to learn how to handle that.

In the meantime, they might be snappish, or out of it, or just kind of give up and have a ‘fuck it’ attitude sometimes, and it drives a lot of adults just goddamn insane it seems, according to all the mildly aggressive parents at work, trying to get kids who don’t want to be there to give the right reactions. It’s probably not even anything personal to the event that’s making them unhappy. One time I talked to a kid who was crying, and when I got her to tell me what was bothering her, it turned out that some people on her family reunion were mean to her. Nothing about the immediate ‘now’, just a lot of emotion that needed to go somewhere, and that somewhere ended up being crying, and it was not at all about respect or disrespect or anything related to us. Probably most of what was needed was to talk about it (success) and take a long nap.

The first time I remember having a meltdown with a ‘trigger’ like that, I was in 5th grade and my first assignment was something like “what did you do over summer” so I lost my entire shit and cried on the couch for an hour. Passed out, slept til 7, woke up and was fed soup, and have no idea if I finished that paper but presumably I did because I remember a nap and food working.

I would keep having these homework meltdowns periodically, and I don’t know when they stopped, but I had at least one, maybe two, in my first year of college.

And eventually I’ve just kinda.... stopped having them. Stress about a big project wasn’t something that bothered me anymore. You just did it one step at a time, and when you started thinking “maybe I’ll do it in the morning”, you immediately go to bed because you’ve already lost the fight and even if you don’t do it in the morning at least you won’t face it sleep deprived.

It takes time and living to get these experiences, and while one kid might not have the same issues with school work I had, maybe something else just knocks them on their ass every time (same) and it is just. Literally something you need to live through a couple times before you know how to deal with it. You can provide Blank Slate Alien Person with all the mental health tips and anecdotal advice and chamomile tea as you want, but the first couple times they face stress, none of those tips help if they don’t know how to implement them.

If you’ve ever assembled something by instructions and ended up building it upside down—it’s easier to build it again once you’ve gotten mad and undone it and started again. Because you’ve practiced. You already had the instructions, but now you have the experience of building it already, even if the result wasn’t the one you wanted.

Teens are learning a) how to read instructions, and b) that their assembly is probably upside down. and in the meantime, the world is also bonkers wild right now.

When they have that moment of rage, or giving up, or aloofness upon finding shit got built upside down— just. Let them.

You don’t have to ‘fix’ it or ‘fix’ them for having these emotions, or lack of them.

These are normal reactions. They make sense. All I’m asking is that we understand it’s going to happen. These emotions are going to happen.

Don’t let yourself justify being mean to kids and teens by telling yourself they’re being disrespectful. The world and their lives and emotions also don’t revolve around you. It’s not always a rebellion or reason to fight when things get too high strung to hold total control of.

That doesn’t mean ignore them. I was maybe 12 or 13, and it was 90 on a metal ship, and i was wearing an under shirt because i didn’t have a bra, so two layers of clothes on a hot metal ship, on my period— and all I remember is asking my dad to let us sit down and eat some lunch, because i was dizzy and dehydrated, and all he just kept saying we would do it once he saw the tour. I have no idea how long it was but I probably could’ve cried and been called moody or uncooperative.

Life is difficult. Especially for people who aren’t yet in control of their situations. Who are still bursting out with emotions they can’t otherwise articulate.

Be kind to that.

#long post #ramble #teenagers #kids #teens #puberty #puberty Sucks #especially when the world continues to exist around you #beatext #memories

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rivkahstudies · 5 years ago

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do you have any advice for a high school senior who wants to make the most of their last year of high school? asking for a friend :)

hi darling! I think the things I remember most from my senior year (though it was only two years ago that it started) can be summarized in, “crazy busy, crazy stressful, but at times, crazy fun.” Here’s to making the most of it, and maintaining health while you do so!

This is going to be combination masterpost and advice post, because I’ve accumulated a lot on this subject and I have a loooot to say.

Also this is heavily based off of the assumption you’re pursuing higher education, but some of these things still apply/can be tweaked.

table of contents:

i. academics

ii. social life

iii. personal health

i. 𝓪𝓬𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓶𝓲𝓬𝓼

a. grades

They’re important for your future if your plan is to go to college or academy, but they’re not the whole world. (see social life and personal health)

I’m not a big fan of the “3-to-1 rule” or other such things that tell you “study for this amount of time no matter what” because it’s important for you to understand what comes naturally to you and what you need further clarification on. Some classes are going to take up less of your time than others.

The best you can do on a given day isn’t necessarily 100%. Sometimes your best that day is 90%, 80%, 60%. “try your best” isn’t “your best ever” so don’t push yourself for 100s every time for the expense of categories ii and iii.

A lot of people (at least in places like where I went to high school) who are hung up on the stress of competition and the need to be The Best™ are going to ask you for grades. It’s going to be everywhere. Assignment grades, test grades, SATs, ACTs, (if you’re not in the US, the equivalents of your state, regional, or national standardized tests), entrance exams, et cetera, et cetera. I know it’s tempting to fall into the anxiety of whether you measure up, but here’s a quick tip: even if you think you did well/above average, you can keep it private. It infuriated my classmates when I wouldn’t share, because I was comfortable with how I competed with myself and didn’t care what my peers thought of my scores.

When you’re someone as dedicated to studying as I am, you might get a lot of “oh, you got that grade because you’re you” (the underlying implication being that it’s natural or the work is easy for you, which was not the case for me) or “ha! I got higher than (name)! I measure up!” This is a lot of their own biases and insecurity talking and the best way not to be affected is not to buy into it. Again, this is based on my own experience.

I really cannot emphasize extra credit enough because some of my teachers threw it around like candy and some of them barely drizzled a little in at intervals, but either way it really saved me when it came to rounding my grades up.

It never hurts to have a grade tracker if you’re concerned, you don’t get graded by total points accumulation/have a weighted system, and/or don’t have an easy way to access your grades online throughout the year.

find your study strategy/ies for each class and stick to it/them. It won’t necessarily be the same. I’m a primarily visual learner, and it really, really helps for most things, but I still need rote memorization for subjects with a lot of vocabulary, like medicine or languages.

further resources

studying without notes by @fuckstudy .

prioritizing that crazy to do list (the abcde method) by @eintsein

a comphrensive guide to anki (flashcards online) by @studyingstudent

a stash of tiny study tips by @acalmstudiousfirecracker

and much much more on my #studyref tag.

b. extracurriculars

These I think matter (though I’m biased) more than grades, because they’re what shape you and your experience. Most of the students at my university had grades like mine, but it’s the places I frequented and the people to whom I devoted my time that formed my sense of self. I have so many skills, anecdotes, and ideas that I’ve gained from my extracurricular work.

If you have any you’ve stuck with since early in high school and you still like, keep ‘em. Quality over quantity. Show jobs or universities you can be dedicated and disciplined, and have stamina to see projects to the end. (I was in 7 and held leadership positions in 4 and it was probably part of the reason why I spent all of senior year on three hours sleep… besides my IB classes of course.)

If you’re not pursuing college immediately or at all (or even if you are), participate in ones that pull you out of your comfort zone and teach you something new.

ii. 𝓼𝓸𝓬𝓲𝓪𝓵 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮

Treat this category as you would anything else in your schedule–requiring time and being a significant priority. Not always at the very top, but still demanding its own attention.

See friends outside of school, for however long or short a period, at least once every week to two weeks. This can include extracurricular time if you’re pressed.

Schedule time with your family (especially if their lives are also cluttered and hectic) do something dynamic, and also something separate that’s relaxing. One week your family time might be reading in the same room and having gentle conversation or a family dinner; the next might be going out to the movies or taking a hike together. It can be easy to feel taken for granted or to take family for granted.

By the way, this includes “chosen” family if you’re not on great terms with some/all of them. I have experience with this too.

Get. Out. Of. The. House. This plays into “personal health” too! You need a change in rhythm/routine and exposure to the outside. Especially in your winter season.

I’m one of those people who has to have things scheduled way in advance, so family/curfew/etc permitting, do something a little bit spontaneous, say with only a few hours or a couple days notice. It will make you feel more alive if you’re in a stressful slump.

Communication is really important, especially if you’re stressed. Don’t be afraid to tell people “I am sensitive/hyperreactive to X because Y is putting me on edge right now” or “this triggers X insecurity because I’m anxious about Y.” This goes doubly if you’re struggling with mental illness. Talk to someone you trust. (See “personal health.”)

Don’t give in to peer pressure if you’re spent the time you need with friends and have to excuse yourself for other responsibilities. Balance!

No is equally as important to respected as Yes, no matter what the case.

Respect boundaries but invite people to challenge their comfort zone at their space.

Don’t be broken up if a romantic relationship doesn’t last. It’s senior year. Everything’s changing. Let it.

Also, please don’t be like me and let your summer/your school year be eaten up with relationship drama. I thankfully ended a difficult relationship early (late September) so it wasn’t a huge issue, but I watched people close to me struggle with while also battling the stress of the year.

iii. 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓽𝓱

mentally

If you’re struggling with mental illness, be aware of your own limits and pace yourself.

Sometimes we feel dull because we need to break routine/stimulate ourselves in a new way. You should have a structure/routine, but it should be flexible enough for you to adapt to changes and listen to what your mind and body are telling you.

The path to self-love must first begin with self-acceptance. If you struggle with self-image or self-esteem issues, you can’t build positivity off a foundation of negativity. You must first level it to neutrality.

Perform check-ups with yourself. This may be in the form of meditation, a diary, therapy, etc. None of these things are a “last resort” but rather a healthy part of building good mental habits.

physically

Exercise! You don’t have to be a star athlete to bring about the benefits. Even a 15 minute jog, 30 minute walk/hike, or 10 minutes of stretching can give you benefits.

On that note! Take! Frequent! Breaks! And please, please google stretches for certain body parts like hands if you do repetitive motion like drawing or writing for a long period of time! You don’t want to push yourself!

Listen to your body and don’t ignore pain, hunger, nausea, fatigue, etc. Respond patiently and with what’s appropriate.

Don’t forget about diet. It’s easy when you’re busy to reach for the quick and nutritionally poor snacks/meals, but it’s really important to set aside time to cook/meal plan or even just throw together a quick snack tray of fruits/crackers/cheeses/etc. It doesn’t have to be instragrammable but you should have a balanced diet that factors in your specific needs, if you have any restrictions, etc.

Change yo pillow case frequently kids, it does wonders for acne.

I cannot stress enough! To! Stay! Hydrated! My goal is eventually eight glasses a day but my minimum is 4-5. I try to have one every meal, especially in college.

Bedtime is important! But more than that, wake up time is important. If you’re trying to adjust your schedule and can only keep one consistent, choose the time you wake up. Eventually your body will naturally become fatigued for the bedtime to match it. It’s how I turned my sleep schedule from 12:00 AM to 8:00 into 9:30 PM to 5:30 AM over the course of one winter break!

If you’re a morning person, you’re a morning person. If you’re a night owl, you’re a night owl. There’s research now to prove that forcing yourself into a rhythm too extreme for your tendencies can make you feel awful either way.

At the end of the day, you’ve got one goal and one goal only: to look back on this year and be proud of what you’ve achieved and how you’ve grown. You shape your future and choose what matters most in your life!

If there’s anything else you think I’ve missed or you’d like me to cover more in depth/link more posts to, please ask me! I’d be happy to clarify/continue this series! I want to make sure you’re completely satisfied.

#sleepover #annabethofcolor #rivkah answers #my advice #masterpost #high school #high school seniors #studyref

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1-800-444-tune · 6 years ago

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How to: #BOS #Grimoire

How To Create Your Own Book Of Shadows

A Book of Shadows is your personal journal of your magical journey. In it, you will write down any notes and insights you receive from other Witches, from the Universe, from your dreams, from books and websites and any other source you find them. You will write down your spells before you cast them and you will make notes about the casting and about your results. You will keep any tables of correspondences, recipes, sketches of magical plants, symbols and just about anything that comes to you that relates in any way to your magical practice.

It is wise for all magical practitioners of any tradition to have a Book Of Shadows as it provides an invaluable resource you will invariably return to time and again when your memory fails, not to mention the incredibly deep insight your periodic review of your Book of Shadows and provide into your own spiritual evolution.

Required Tools:🌻

To create your book of shadows you will need a book. You can purchase a blank journal, or a specialized Book of Shadows online or in many specialty shops. However, do not over-complicate this project. Having a Book of Shadows is more important than the form the Book comes in. A 3-Ring binder with loose leaf paper, or even a spiral notebook or a composition book is suitable to get you started simply for a very low cost. You can always copy your notes into a fancier book later if you can't acquire one now.

Personally, I like a 3-Ring binder because then I can add notes and recipes I've received from other people or printed from the internet. When I go to public rituals, I often receive typed notes from the ritual leaders. If I like the ritual, I want to stick it in my book of shadows. Also, sometimes I'm out and about or don't have access to my binder. I can jot down notes on any 8 1/2 by 11 piece of paper to add to my Book of Shadows later, I can even type it. A 3-ring binder makes it easy (assuming you also have access to a 3-hole punch). AND I can use dividers to make sections. AND it lays flat when it's open, making it easier to follow a recipe. OR I can just take the pages I need out and put them back in again later. AND, My mom made me a nifty embroidered fabric cover for my binder that makes it look and feel like a "real" Book of Shadows (Check out http://makezine.com/craft/how-to_sew_a_simple_fabric_boo/ for directions to do this yourself. You can also make a cover out of paper or get a binder with a clear sleeve on the outside, then you can paint, draw or print out a cover and slide it right into your clear sleeve.

You will also need a pen. Pencil marks wear off over time so a pen is best. Some folks like to have a special pen for their Book of Shadows. A refillable fountain pen is nice. But again, if it's too complicated, just get any old pen and go for it. Do not let your lack of a really cool pen interfere with the creation of your Book of Shadows!!

You will also need whatever tools you generally use to cleanse and consecrate your magical tools

Directions:🌸🕯💐

1. ☆Obtain and Organize Your Book

Consider how you want to organize your book. Although there are other methods, some good possibilities are the Table of Contents or Tab style and the Index Style.

Table of Contents Organization involves dividing your book into sections and having a Table of Contents somewhere in the book, usually near the beginning or end, that lists the starting page number of each section. Alternatively, the sections can be indicated by tabs.

If you are using a 3-ring binder, you can use tabed inserts to mark each section. If you are using a blank book, spiral notebook or composition book, you may wish to number your pages and create a Table of Contents or you can use colored post-it tabs to mark each section in your book. If you create a Table of Contents, make sure you do it on the second page, not the first. Leave the first page blank. Do not try to populate these sections at this time or you may get bogged down. Just create your sections and mark them out and move on to the next task for now. When you are ready to start writing, flip to that section and go for it.

The Index method does not divide up the book into sections. Instead, you list your main topics near the back or front of the book where they can easily be referenced and when you write in your book, you list the page number of what you just wrote under the appropriate topic in your index. So instead of flipping through sections, you would look at your index and see that you wrote about Topic A on page 8, 17, 22, and 91 and turn to those pages to find what you're looking for. Since you wrote the book, you probably wouldn't have to search through all of those pages to find exactly what you were looking for because you might remember that you wrote something recently or a long time ago.

Remember to leave the first page blank.

The following sections are suggested, but you may add or omit whichever sections you wish as best suits your personal practice and do not feel that you have to stick to this order.

1. ☆Rules to Live By

Many practitioners follow certain laws and it's a good idea to have them right up front where you can meditate on them, absorb them, explore them and refer to them quickly and easily. So here is where you keep your copy of The Wiccan Rede, The Charge of the Goddess, The Delphic Maxims, The Seven Hermetic Principles or whatever it is that guides you.

2. ☆Holy Days and Rites of Passage

In this section you will record the dates and special significance of any holy days you celebrate and any rites of passage you experience, either as the recipient of the rite or the officiant of the rite. These may include the traditional Western Sabbats as well as any monthly observances you participate in and any special personal days, such as birthday celebrations, initiations, handfasting and marriage rites, adulthood rites, naming ceremonies and whatever else comes up in your life and personal practice. Write notes about the significance of each event, the rituals tied to each event, including traditional foods, decorations and gift-giving practices as well as special ceremonies and journal each individual event you celebrate. If you celebrate these events with your family, this will make your Book of Shadows a very special heirloom to pass down through the generations.

3. ☆Symbols and Correspondences

In this section, you will keep any tables of correspondence you collect or develop as well as symbols, runes, magical languages, sigils and whatever else that is symbolic in nature that you find useful during your magical journey.

4. ☆Spells

In this section, you will write down each spell you perform before you perform it. Then you will journal about the actual spell after you have performed it and continue journaling about the results of the spell. Include your thoughts about what worked well and what felt weird and how you could have done it differently and how it can be improved.

(See How to Write Your Own Spell) and How to Cast a Spell )

5. ☆Recipes

Every holy day and rite of passage has food associated with it. Many witches also like to prepare special ritual wine or cakes consumed only as part of a magical ritual. If this is you, be sure to include a section for your recipes because it's a long time between Samhain feasts and you'd hate to leave out an ingredient in your famous pumpkin soup. If you have a special chant you like to recite while stirring to imbue your feast with magic, be sure to include this (or a cross-reference to the appropriate section.)

6. ☆Crafts

Many witches enjoy crafting their own magical tools and candles as well as making household items like soap. If this is you, include this section with step-by-step instructions for each item as well as notes for their use, spells that you like to imbue into the item (you can cross-reference to the spell section) and herbs or essential oils you like to use to scent items for specific purposes, seasonal variations, etc.

7. ☆Chants, prayers and songs

There are many lovely chants we come across online, in books and at public rituals and some of us even write our own. Your Book of Shadows should have a section for these even if they can be found in the Holy Day ritual and spell sections. If you have a prayer you say at dawn, at bedtime or at mealtimes, be sure to include these as well.

Do not be afraid to "steal" someone else's chant, prayer or song for your own personal use; that's what they put them out there for, just make sure you write down the name of the author, if you can find it. If you were to publish your book of shadows in either print or digital format (blog, website, e-book, etc.), you will need to contact the author or publisher to ask permission to include it. Otherwise, it will have to be removed from the public version.

8. ▪A Dream Journal

In this section, you will record any significant, especially vivid or recurring dreams that you experience. Include notes about what's going on in your life when you have these dreams.

Some people like to keep a separate dream journal and this is fine too.

(Read Dream Journal and Begin Lucid Dreaming)

9. ▪Journey or Meditation Journal

If you journey, engage in Astral Projection or practice meditation, keep a journal to record your experiences and impressions during these exercises. Be sure to include any music, fragrances or different methods you used so you can judge their effectiveness later.

Some people like to keep a journey or meditation journal separate from their Book of Shadows and this is fine too.

10. ♡Reading Journal

Keep track of whatever books or websites you use to gather information. Take notes in this journal section make sure you write down where the information came from in case you want to look it up again later. Often when I am reading a book (or a website) I will come across a "fact" or an anecdote that I would like to research further. This journal section is invaluable for me in those instances. (I love that my Kindle has a note-taking feature on it, but I do need to copy those notes into the paper journal as well.)

Sometimes you come across a piece of information in a book or website that you'd like to chew on for awhile before you actually add it to your Book of Shadows. This is a good place to jot that down.

11. ☆General Journal Section

It is nice to have an extra section at the end of your Book of Shadows to just journal in. Here you can work on that poem you don't have quite right, or record that omen you saw that may or may not be an omen or expound on how gorgeous the sunset was or make a note to ask Judy where she bought the incense she used at the last esbat because wow, that was some potent stuff and of course you'll want to write down the name of the vendor you discovered at the RenFest that carried the exact beads you've been looking for so you can order more from their website and you'll want to write down the day you felt like you were in a fog all day so you can speculate on the reasoning for your fog later when you're feeling more clearheaded.

12. ♡Decorate your Book

Unless you've purchased your book already decorated, you may wish to decorate it yourself. I had you create sections to make the book usable before I had you decorate it because I want you to be able to use it right away, even if it's not technically "finished" yet (Your Book of Shadows will never be finished). There is nothing more discouraging than the feeling that you have to do a bunch of work before you get started. Now you may decorate it if you wish, but you don't have to. You can paint or draw right on the book, or use scrapbooking supplies if that's what you're into.

You can learn to create a nifty fabric book cover at http://makezine.com/craft/how-to_sew_a_simple_fabric_boo/

Or you can make the good old fashioned paper book cover (you don't have to use a bag if you have craft paper or wrapping paper you'd rather use) http://specialchildren.about.com/od/schoolissues/ss/bookcover2.htm

If you are using a 3-ring binder with a clear sleeve cover, you can simply print off or draw or paint an image that is pleasing to you and slide it into the clear sleeve.

Many people also like to decorate the first page of every section. Feel free to do this as well. You can use scrapbooking tools or if you are an artist, use your own talents. I have also seen Books of Shadows that were illuminated throughout with sketches of herbs, postures, and just doodles and this is wonderful. The more /you/ you put into your Book, the more personal and magical it will become. Just don't get caught up in the decoration and forget to write. Of course, if your an artist and prefer to journal in illustrated form, that's fine too!

13. □Cleanse and Consecrate Your Book

Cleanse your Book using your preferred method and then consecrate it, that is, declare its sacred purpose.

Check out How to Prepare Magickal Tools for Use

Once this is done, open up your book to the first page and write the following:

This is the magical Book of Shadows of {Your magical name} begun this day, {date}

You can elaborate on this if you like, but don't feel you have to. Some folks have written some Book of Shadows blessing rhymes that you might like to use and there are some more elaborate blessing rituals out there. You can find many of these using the search terms "Book of Shadows Blessing" in your favorite search engine. Choose one that you like and that reflects your intentions and beliefs. Or don't and keep it simple.

Now, hold the book out in front of you, preferably over a candle or burning incense (high enough that it won't catch fire) and read aloud what you just wrote.

14. ♡Write in Your Book of Shadows

Many people like to write a bit fancy in their Book of Shadows. Some artsy types use calligraphy, some like to write in a magical language or code. I always write in cursive in my Book of Shadows. It feels fancy to me and is apparently going to be a dead art in another generation. Go ahead and be fancy if you like, but don't get caught up in it. If you find you're spending more time re-writing the calligraphy that's not perfect or looking up magical languagesthan actually writing in your book, ditch the fancy and go for practical. The most important thing is that you write.

Write every day. Keep your Book of Shadows next to your bed so that you can write down your dreams as soon as you wake up and so that it is within arms reach when you wake from a dead sleep with some brilliant insight you won't even remember you had in the morning.

If you don't write every day, at least write every time you do a spell and at every Holy Day.

Additional Comments:🍎

When your Book of Shadows becomes overstuffed, you may wish to archive it and create a new one. I recommend you read through your old book completely first. This will provide useful insight into your magical evolution and will allow you to identify any information you want to make sure gets transferred to the new book.

For More Information:🍎

http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/wiccaandpaganismbasics/ht/BOS.htm

http://lapuliabookofshadows.com/

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stupidspaceseven · 5 years ago

Text

A Memori Fic Rec

Hi Friends! In the spirit of celebrating memori engagement week I’ve decided to celebrate some of my favorite fics! Under the cut are a range of fics in different genres and ratings, divided between canon fics and AUs. It’s long but by no means exhaustive. All these fics are completed ;) Happy reading!

Canon Compliant Fics

How All This, And Love Too, Will Ruin Us by biextroverts

Rating: T, One-shot; Genre: Found Family/Angst

Emori finds a family and loses a lover on the Ring.

A great Ring fic that covers the six years in space. I’ve only read it once because it made me That Sad, which is really a testament to how well writting and IC it is, so if you’re a sucker for angst and raven&emori friendship definitely give this a read.

The Lotus Eaters by maelidify: @maelidpoetree

Rating: M (no smut), One shot; Genre: Fluff, Character Study

“I don’t like this place, John,” she said. “We’re not safe here.”

Am I partial to this fic because it was a gift to me? Yes, but I firmly believe that more people need to read it and that the author deserves more recognition in general! This pre 4.08 science island fic is sweet and romantic but explores inner conflicts of nature in such a beautiful way (with some awesome anecdotes and metaphors). All her writing is beautiful and poetic and it’s worth your while to go through her memori tag to find/read the stuff she hasn’t posted on AO3.

Cataclysmic by maelidify; @maelidpoetree

Rating: E (by author request don’t read if you’re not 18+) One-shot, Genre: Angst

She’s looking up at him, half angry, half looking for permission for something. For what—?

Oh.

More breakup angst!! This remains the best Murphy POV I’ve read, it’s messy and angry and sad and the fic tears me up a little every time. I’d even recommend this to people who don’t like/read smut because, while present, it’s tasteful and really this fic is about all the emotions. If the two fics in a row haven’t clued you in just read everything Liz writes, because I don’t have space to talk about all her fics but they are all worth your time!!

First Impressions by interlude; @bombshellsandbluebells

Rating: T, One-shot; Genre: Drama

John Murphy comes back to Arkadia with an unfamiliar grounder woman. The Arkadians and former delinquents react.

(Or: Memori seen from different points of view. Takes places between 4x03 and 4x04.)

Personally I’m a big sucker for outsider POV fics, and the author does a great job with keeping all those outsiders in character and addressing their most pressing motivations while keeping memori in the spotlight of the fic. The story has all the urgency present in s4 and fills in some of the gaps nicely!

The Wild by Debate; @stupidspaceseven

Rated: M, Multichapter; Genre: Fluff

When Emori points up at the sky, it’s with a pointer finger twice the width of his own. He locks away the knowledge that she trusts him deep inside his chest.

[Post Wanheda 2, detailing Murphy and Emori's early season 3 adventures as they grow to mean the world to each other.]

This one is a shameless self-promotion, but I’m recommending it because I think it’s really good!! Fun shenanigans, theft, first kisses, angsty backstory reveals, smut, this fic basically has the works, and I’m like, 98% sure it’s the longest memori canon complaint fic out there. (I have a host of other memori fics, canon compliant and otherwise if you want to check those out too, but this one’s my personal favorite).

Canon Divergent AUs

Her What If List by the_most_beautiful_broom; @the-most-beautiful-broom

Rating: G, One-shot; Genre: Meet Cute/Ugly

Memori Appreciation Week: Day One: Canon Divergence

Emori and Otan's latest robbery goes awry when the mark ends up being very much awake, but all's well that end's well, and an unexpected connection is made in the middle of the desert.

And she wonders if his eyes weren’t just sad, that they were just asleep. Because maybe it’s the fire, or the fading adrenaline, but now Emori can swear his eyes are sparkling. Which is a stupid thing to think. She’s in the middle of the dead zone, with a gun that isn’t a gun, and a man who could be conning her just like she’s trying to con him.

A really imaginative AU with Grounder!Murphy. This puts our characters in a familiar situation but makes it new and unique. Emori’s POV is both critical and vulnerable and the memori banter is amazing!

home is what the heart protects by emperor_bell

Rating: G, One-shot; Genre: Family/Friendship

"John Murphy had lived a hundred lifetimes in his year on the ground and yet still, somehow, after a year of living in space again, nineteen year old John Murphy hears the word “dad” and his first thought is 'I’m too young.'"

I'm obsessed with the thought of Emori having a baby in space, and I set out to write Memori parents. Instead I wrote 2k words of John Murphy feelings. Enjoy.

More messy feelings! The dialogue here and what characters (mostly Murphy) do versus what they think and say is really interesting and makes for an engaging read. Plus a look at how complicated memori as parents would be and a super angsty sequel if that’s the kind of thing you’re into!

Taking A Village by Zaffie

Rated: M, Multichapter; Genre: Found Family/Survival

Once they get it all sorted, the technical aspect of living on the Ring turns out to be the easy part. It's the rest which is hard. Everyone's got their personal demons to face - except when you're seven people trapped together for five-plus years, "personal" is easier said than done.

This one is much less memori-centric than spacekru-centric, but it’s probably my favorite Ring fic, and the AU aspects just make it better. Both Murphy and Emori are incredibly in character and their chapter is beautiful and sad. If you happen to also be a big Spacekru or Raven fan this fic is a must. Also there’s a great sequel in the works!

I know the sound of your heart by dylanobrienisbatman; @dylanobrienisbatman

Rating: G, One-shot; Genre: Fluff

Bellamy fought hard, and got them the 80 acres on the edge of the valley. They built a house, big enough for all of them, they had a farm, they were happy and safe. Emori should be happy, she should feel like it was enough, but it wasn't. She and John were still apart, and their history made her scared to try.

But as time went on, she watched as John became part of the group. She kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but the longer she waited, the more it seemed like he was really better.

Was it time to give him another chance?

The soft spacekru feels in this one are almost as great as the memori ones which feature reconciliation and addressing their s5 issues in a healthy way. The lead up to them getting back together is as good the second go around as in the first.

eat, drink, and be merry by flowermasters

Rating: G, One-shot; Genre: Fluff

Murphy and Emori do what they can to improve morale.

So this is the wedding fic that everybody needs in these hours. There’s a healthy dose of spacekru to make it all the ore sweeter and Murphy and Emori are adorably in love while trying to maintain their aloof and uncaring reputations. This fic did so much to heal my soul while in the depth of the s5 angst.

In This Valley by Kats_watermelon; @katswatermelon

Rating: T, One-shot; Genre: Angst/Fluff/Kidfic

written for day 1 of memori week, prompt: canon divergence

This is mostly a really fun spec fic if God Complex went worse and Murphy and Emori got six years alone on Earth. There are big shifts in tone from the start to the end of the fic, but they feel earned and memori have a cure kid in addition to Madi and you get to see them square up with Diyoza asap. Something for everyone!

Life After the Mountain by Ghelik; @ghelikblack

Rating: T, Series of One-shots; Genre: Hurt/Comfort

The Mountain falls and the grounders keep their distance, because the Sky-People are soldiers that have earned their respect and the lands of the Mountain that they have conquered. Which is good, because skaikru might need a break.

Series of one-shots in an AU where season 3 kind of didn't happen, but elements of it might be borrowed from.

This one is a little different because it’s a series of one shots and not all of them deal with memori but the fair majority of them do, and it’s a great what-if of how Murphy and Emori learn to function in society in a (sort of) kinder world. There’s lots of angst and vulnerability and feelings of inadequacy as well as fluff and healing. The fics span genres so there’s probably something for everybody!

Burn brighter than we ever have before by Zoadgo; @jonnmurphy

Rating: G, One-shot; Genre: Drama

Murphy flees an unknown threat in the Promised Land, running right back to the desert that almost killed him the first time he crossed it. It seems intent on fixing its past failures, and Murphy isn't strong enough to fight it on his own, this time. But someone from his past offers him a chance to survive, and even to prosper in the Dead Zone. That is, if he can bring himself to trust someone who has already betrayed him once.

Another great Murphy POV with additional cool (or hot, rather) desert descriptions and personal conflict. It’s a cool what-if and explores how things could have gone down if t100 didn’t go full scifi. Most of all Murphy and Emori’s understandings of each other/immediate connection shine through.

Show Them the Mercy They Won’t Find on Earth by berxnica

Rating: NA (no smut), One-shot; Genre: Drama

she just showed up swollen and scared, eyes so impossibly big that they left no room for a smile. she pulled murphy aside and removed the blanket that she previously was clutching to her stomach. and there it was, her stomach, swollen and full and round with the promise of life.

Another memori becoming parents fic, but in a different era. The character understanding shines through in the prose here. Our faves are suspicious and afraid and angry while still being soft with one another. If kidfic is your thing at all it’s def worth your time!

Earth Skills: Reap What You Sow by BeaRyan

Rating: E, Multichapter; Genre: Crack/Smut

That week everyone got high on mutant corn and John Murphy realized juvenile prison might not have taught him everything he needed to know about how to please a woman. Canon adjacent.

This is a Memori story from John Murphy's snark-tastic POV and as such contains minor whomp of everyone. Complete.

This story contains a multitude of side pairings, but it is really good for a laugh, and despite being cracky Murphy and Emori’s feelings are very real and present and sweet. A grand ‘ole fic.

AUs

Litany by infernalandmortal; @infernalandmortal

Rating: T, Mulichapter; Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

After leaving an abusive relationship, Murphy moves into his best friend's house. He's fine, really. Their new roommate comes with more than enough baggage of her own.

(A Memori college AU)

If you read memori fic chances are you’ve read this, but it’s definitely worth reiterating! Great writing really brings forth raw emotions from both Murphy and Emori’s POVs and a lot of reading this fic is like getting sucker punched in the best way. There’s also a nice side helping of found family feels, and you get it all in Amanda’s lovely prose (her setting descriptions? kill me) truly a must read.

Little Beast by infernalandmortal: @infernalandmortal

Rating: T, Multichapter

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

John meets her eyes from across the room. What are you running from? his eyes ask.

Nothing, she blinks back. Everything.

“Will I see you again?” His eyes are trying not to be earnest. They are a strange shade of blue-green in the flickering yellow street light outside her house. They are uncomfortably difficult to read.

“Maybe.” It’s all she can give. She’s supposed to fear boys like this. “I’d like to.”

(A Memori-centric small-town AU. Title and opening excerpts from Little Beast by Richard Siken.)

Less angsty than Litany, but no less emotional, this fic is *chef’s kiss*. The fic features Murphy and Emori growing together and becoming family with one another while trying to manage their pasts. The growth the characters have through the fic is amazing and the ending make me feel all kinds of Soft. There are also bonus drabbles in the same ‘verse. And after you read those you might as well read everything else by this author because her stories are numerous and amazing.

Don’t be surprised if I love you (for all that you are) by not_a_total_basket_case; @raven-reyes-of-sunshine

Rating: G, One-shot

Genre: Fluff

Emori doens't want to find her soulmate, she wants to make that choice herself.

Who doesn’t like a good soulmate AU? The mechanics of soulmates in this AU are really unique and structured in a way to make the payoff at the end all the better. It’s a great friends to lovers story, and the supporting cast is lovely too, this fic make you feel all warm inside.

Tired of Yourself and All of Your Creations by Chash

Rating: T, One-shot

Genre: Fluff/Drama

Murphy didn't ask to be successful and relatively wealthy and friends with people in good standing in society. It just sort of happened, and now there are all these families who apparently think he'd be a good match for their daughters. Being a respectable member of society is a pain, really.

I certainly didn’t know I needed a memori Regancy!AU until I read this, but the characterizations were picture perfect and the plot quick and smart without getting pulled down by the type of dialogue common in regency writing. A very fun AU!

Quiet Thought Come Floating Down and Settle by LayALioness

Rating: T, One-shot; Genre: Drama/Fluff

When Murphy meets the girl, it’s not under the best circumstances.

A great example of canon transferred to modern AU well with prickly Murphy and mysterious Emori. The story is fast paced and all of Murphy’s inner musings and snark are highly amusing.

traitors never win by Kats_watermelon; @katswatermelon

Rating: T, Multichapter; Genre: Crime/Drama

Murphy's been kicked out of his crew. Emori's been alone for a while now. They both have a knack for robbery and dreams bigger than their pasts, and they're willing to steal from anyone and everyone to prove it.

If you like the high drama this is for you, a very edge of your seat read with a great payoff at the end. Lovely dialogue as well and a combo of both Murphy’s and Emori’s POVs.

Golden by frikdreina;

Rating: E, One-shot; Genre: Smut/Fluff

It was their two years anniversary and Emori had planned this for weeks. Murphy would be at her place after seven and Emori skipped her last period so she could get everything done before he got there. Her heart was pounding as she unlocked the door to her apartment, the thrill of anticipation taking over her. It was like if electricity was running through her veins and she couldn’t get enough of it, with her mind drifting to the way he kissed her and how his touch had always felt right on her skin.

If you’re just looking for some hot and sweet memori smut this is the fic for you! Doesn’t get into anything too kinky and remains intimate throughout with great descriptions.

she’s the tear in my heart by flowermasters

Rating: M, One-shot; Genre: Fluff/Drama

Murphy is in love with the girl he's sleeping with, and is incredibly bad at handling it.

Oh man This Fic. The banter is amazing and full of little call backs and tie ins, the descriptions speak to Murphy and Emori so well and transfer to a modern AU so easily. The fic is lovely and if you want something where Murphy and Emori are just dumb about their feelings than this is for you. Another author to keep your eye on if you like memori (or becho) fics.

#memories #memoriweek 2019 #memori fic #fic rec #memori engagement week #emori #john murphy #fic #yes this was a way for me to procrastinate writing new fics ok ill admit it

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cannabisrefugee-esq · 5 years ago

Photo

(via The Welfare Gnome! It's Like a Sock Gnome Except This One Can Actually Kill You. Ft. Joker (Again))

The Welfare Gnome! It’s Like a Sock Gnome Except This One Can Actually Kill You. Ft. Joker (Again)

Cannabis Refugee, Esq.

Advertising / Media / Cultural Conversation

Capitalistic Patriarchal Medicine

Crohn's Disease Stories

Euthanasia / Suicide

Law / Legal / Benefits

December 20, 2019

According to the internet, a “sock gnome” is a mythical creature that pilfers socks. Presumably it lives in or around the dryer where you put an even number of socks in and get an odd number out. Sometimes it gets tricksy and spits out an even number but the pairs don’t match (meaning it’s pilfered one from more than one pair) but the usual evidence that you’ve had a sock pilfered by a gnome is that there is one left over that doesn’t have a mate and the missing sock never reappears ever. This is a real thing (if not a real gnome) and everyone knows what this means.

Well, there appears to be a similar creature that lives at Social Services and pilfers sick and poor people’s applications for welfare benefits. Or something, idk. I assume these creatures are related but maybe not since this gnome doesn’t play games: it’s goal seems to be to drive you insane before it literally kills you. I wrote here before about an application for benefits that went missing, along with a half a dozen other boondoggles that have wasted my spoons and left me scrambling to repeat some administrative process I was barely able to complete survive the first time.

Because while a sick person’s literal inability to jump through bureaucratic hoops is actually the best evidence that someone is extremely ill, someone has decided that only those who are well enough to sing for their supper (or pursue benefits) deserve to eat, as it were. The first application that went missing was for food stamps, while today I found out that my application to get on a 4 month waitlist to see a doctor went missing 2 months ago and has not been since heard from: although my disability advocate hand-delivered it, the application was never received.

I didn’t know it had never been received since I was instructed to wait for 2-3 months for a phonecall from them whereupon they would then tell me that I had to wait another 4 months to see a provider. Now I get to start the whole process over again. Of course, the clock starts, again, from zero: 2-3 months for the application to be processed and another 4 months before I will be seen. And as both Crohn’s disease and high functioning Autism are untreatable and incurable, the only reason I’m even trying to get in to see a doctor is that I need up to date records of medical compliance (not actual therapeutic medical care since none exists) to support my claims for disability. As if sick people have the time and energy for that.

Just “apply for benefits” then keep applying indefinitely or forever! Just get showered, dressed, don’t eat or drink anything though because Crohn’s, get somehow transported across town, pretend to act human for a several hours while you are being humiliated, interrogated, starved and otherwise tortured in public, then somehow get a ride back home. And do all of that without “acting” sick. Easy peasy.

And truly, bureaucratic incompetence (or a welfare or Social Services gnome) isn’t even worth writing about and I wouldn’t bother writing about it except that it had an unsettling effect on me: I literally wondered, if only for a second, if I had hallucinated the whole thing and therefore wondered if my new disability advocate who had hand-delivered the applications himself, Dave, was even real. Jesus Christ that was disturbing. Around Halloween of this year, Dave had helped me complete numerous applications, some online, while he mailed some hardcopies out of town and hand-delivered the rest; the 2 applications that were both hand-delivered were supposedly never received. One would be understandable, if not acceptable, but both of them? I was shook.

Very shortly thereafter I realized that the only proof I even have that Dave came to pick me up several times, completed applications for/with me and took me home again is that one application we did online was actually received and has his name and information on it. Much to my chagrin, they initially returned that “online” application to me in hardcopy to review, sign and return (WTF) but as it turns out, that bit of bureaucratic fuckery actually saved me from something awful — a literal break from reality — and was the only proof I had that Dave and our interactions were even real. Also, my old disability advocate told me about Dave in front of another person and they both remember it. (!) So yeah, I’m legit losing my mind by now but at least I’m not delusional (that I know of). Everything about this is fucking terrifying.

Wait. Is Dave even real? Let’s review.

At some point, I know my readers are going to get sick to death of hearing about this shit and I wouldn’t blame them. Hearing about how the system truly victimizes people is unpleasant and predictably leaves those who don’t have to deal with it (yet) with the strong impression that disenfranchised people are “victims” experiencing “victimization” which is always, always read as a character flaw, or it is eventually, especially if it goes on for a long time and it often almost always does. And this material is about as appealing to read as…idk, a book of vintage recipes where the first and second ingredients in every dish are Jello and fake mayonnaise? Maybe. There’s a trainwreck quality that’s hard to look away from, it’s interesting (at first) to see how all the various parts fit together (or ultimately don’t) and I suppose it’s possible to have compassion for the vintage cooks who were trying so, so hard to be resourceful and whatnot.

But eventually that person’s judgement will probably come into question and the blame will fall squarely on them if they consistently choose to participate in such insanity, in that case, preparing and serving Spaghetti-Os and sliced hot dogs suspended in savory Jello, or a canned ambrosia Yule log. (I just watched a video of someone making a canned ambrosia Yule log from a vintage recipe, you can watch that here). Or in the case of a vulnerable person seeking benefits, choosing to consistently be relieved of their dignity and even being (seemingly) willingly neglected and abused. The comparison is kind of a reach but what I’m getting at here is that it’s not pretty. The things I discuss on this blog aren’t pretty.

So do I have an actual point? Actually I have 2. The first point I will make via another anecdote and is something I learned as a young attorney who was becoming seriously ill: I had been seeing a chiropractor/nutritionist for months to attempt to treat what was becoming unbearable chronic pain and GI issues when my health insurance company started denying his claims. The “doctor” wasn’t being paid but I was still in disabling pain and his treatments were working. Kind of. Until they stopped. We had to have “the discussion” which drew out our competing interests: my interest in continuing treatment without a lapse versus his interest in being consistently paid. (Really, this is where the myth of the compassionate Western healer is always undone: the issue of money. But that’s a post for another day.) This discussion is never pleasant and as I learned, is absolutely meant to be ugly.

As a seasoned provider with decades of experience in the insurance game, the “doctor” calmly explained to me that part of the game is to pit the doctor and patient against each other so that they can’t provide a united front against the real enemy: the insurance company. The goal is to have the doctor and patient part ways angry so that there is no reason to pursue an appeal and the treatment — whether it’s medically necessary or not — simply ends. From the insurance company’s perspective, the problem (of exposure to liability) just goes away: if the doctor and patient part ways it doesn’t have to expend resources reviewing appeals and no further claims will be made, their exposure drops to zero, and they win.

Get it? Bad guys 1, good guys 0. And this, I think, is the dynamic playing out when people get fed up (and fired up) with hearing about what sick and disabled people go through — regular, relatively powerless people blaming and judging other regular, relatively powerless people for being “victims” instead of providing a unified front against our common enemy. In this case, against our corporate and governmental overlords who spend billions if not trillions annually on “corporate welfare” and destructive black budget programs while reducing, eliminating or otherwise making inaccessible benefits that real people need to live in this shithole they created, not us. And Big Medicine torturing sick people and deliberately (or leastwise predictably) making us worse.

We all have a choice, don’t we, to pick the correct side and to not fall into this deliberate trap set by the elite, to not go against our own interests, to decline the invitation to support our oppressors while undermining ourselves and our ilk, our own people. Choose correctly. It matters.

My second point is this. I can only speak for myself when I say that I absolutely never wanted to be a “victim” and I spent my entire life and literally everything I had to try to ensure that didn’t happen. I have written about that before if anyone wants to revisit that part of my journey, but what I haven’t directly said is this: once I had exhausted every resource I had accumulated over a lifetime (which wasn’t much), after I had asked everyone I knew for help and they all declined, after I had failed to cure myself of an incurable disease, I knew what was coming for me because I had spent my entire life trying to avoid it.

My experience as a benefits attorney only underscored what I already knew, which is that there is nothing there to catch most people when they fall, and there is no bottom to the abuse and neglect one will suffer, and literally endless opportunities to be victimized, once anyone, especially an unresourced, unsupported female, is no longer able to control her outcomes and sick women can no longer reliably control their outcomes. I knew the benefits system would be inaccessible or inadequate, I knew I would be abused and neglected by doctors if I let them, I knew I could end up sick and homeless at the same time, I knew I could end up sick and homeless and raped and pregnant at the same time if there was nothing I could do to stop it, and I knew that once I got sick there was, in fact, little or nothing I could do to stop it. I knew there would be no end to my suffering as a sick woman under capitalism and patriarchy.

I saw this coming a mile out, and to avoid that outcome I knew I didn’t want and knew I couldn’t handle (and shouldn’t be expected to) and to fulfill a lifelong promise I had made to myself to never “allow” myself to be victimized in this way, I attempted suicide. 4 times. Four fucking times I took action against myself that was so incompatible with life that by all rights I should have died at least once if not every time but I didn’t die. Each time I woke to this nightmare that won’t end and I had to go on, dealing with the same shit and with the same hideous constraints only even more sick and even more traumatized than I was before if that was even possible. And it is possible, isn’t it — it is bottomless. There is no end, there is absolutely no end to how bad this can and will get for me and for everyone in my position.

And to be clear, I started this blog after what ended up being my final (well, most recent) suicide attempt which was 2 years ago by now. Get it? Every single post on this blog was written after that and therefore was very nearly not written at all. What I am documenting here, I think, is a fairly common experience that is almost always lost to time and tragedy: what it’s actually like to be this seriously, hopelessly ill, how “the system” works against sick people and sick women at every turn, and what it really looks like to have no options. And while this surely happens all the time, every force in the universe, it seems, is working against most people actually knowing about it. In fact, the most relateable thing I’ve ever read, the only thing that I have ever seen address these points and describe an experience nearly identical to my own was left behind by an activist/writer/seriously chronically ill woman in a suicide note. I wrote about that woman, Anne Örtegren, and her suicide note here.

In my own case, and this is the only reason you are hearing about it, I happened to be a seasoned researcher and writer with a specialized interest in dissecting the insane system of patriarchy, I had a preexisting platform on which to advertise this project and an audience that was open to hearing about it, and despite my best intentions and efforts, and those of everyone and everything else for that matter, where those intentions and efforts were not compatible with life, my life, I didn’t fucking die. Not yet anyway. I suspect that many women who experience what I and Anne Örtegren and others have experienced go down for the third and final time before anyone even hears them scream. And if any of this sounds a little crazy to you, that’s only because it is. It is completely, completely insane.

#joker #christmas #xmas #friends #family

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gadgetsrevv · 5 years ago

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Sergio Ramos: What we learned from his new documentary

Ramos with wife Pilar Rubio and their three children Sergio Jr, Marco and Alejandro

“In soccer, there are no brothers.”

Sergio Ramos’ mother recalls what her famous son said after breaking his elder brother – and now agent – Rene’s nose in a friendly a number of years ago.

No anecdote better encapsulates the winning mentality of a footballer who is both loved and loathed.

It is one of many revelations from an Amazon documentary about the Real Madrid and Spain captain, which attempts to show his other sides – the family man, the musician and even the world champion horse trainer.

“That image doesn’t always reflect who I really am,” the 33-year-old says at the start of El Corazon de Sergio Ramos (Sergio Ramos’ heart). “I have never shared my private live with anyone.”

This is what we learned about Ramos – warning, spoilers ahead.

‘The worst season ever’

“When we opened the doors to Prime Video to make this documentary series, we didn’t imagine that it would be the worst season,” Ramos told Esquire.

Filmed over the course of the 2018-19 season, Real, who had won four Champions League titles in five years, finished third in La Liga, were knocked out of the European Cup by Ajax and had three managers.

Early in episode two, before Real are beaten 5-1 at the Nou Camp by Barcelona to signal the end of manager Julen Lopetegui’s reign, Ramos says: “We’ve never experienced anything like this since I’ve been here.

“We can’t go out with these results, we can’t even take our kids to the park.”

He also addresses deliberately picking up a yellow card during Real’s Champions League tie at Ajax, which led to a two-game ban by Uefa and him missing the subsequent 4-1 defeat in the return leg as they crashed out of Europe.

“It was the one small dark moment in the game,” he says.

Raheem Sterling also gets a mention in one episode after Spain lose 3-2 to England in the Nations League and Ramos is accused of stamping on the Manchester City forward.

“It’s nothing, the guy knows that. I didn’t even touch him, yet he claims I stepped on him,” adds Ramos. “With everything that’s happened that is the last thing I needed.”

His father ‘almost killed him’ over his first tattoo

Ramos’ tattooed back

“I honestly couldn’t tell you how many tattoos I have today,” Ramos says.

His body is covered in ink, including images of the Champions League and World Cup trophies etched on his calf muscles.

But his first ever tattoo, he reveals, was a small elf with a football which was inked on his back when he was 14 or 15 years old. “My father nearly killed me,” he says.

That tattoo is no longer visible – he has since covered it up with a wolf.

He’s a world champion horse breeder and guitar player

Aside from football, Ramos’ other passions in life are horses and music.

He is a horse breeder, owning the Yeguada SR4 stables in Seville. His favourite stallion, Yucatan de Ramos, which he describes as the “apple of my eye”, has been crowned world champion.

Ramos also loves flamenco music and is a keen singer and guitar player, saying that music is a “way of freeing myself”.

When told by wife Pilar that he sings well, he replies: “I sing with conviction, but I don’t sing well.”

In one episode called ‘Music’, we see Ramos play his guitar live on the Spanish show El Hormiguero.

He has a bromance with Vazquez

Vazquez and Ramos

Spanish winger Lucas Vazquez and Croatia midfielder Luka Modric are the only other Real players to feature in the documentary.

Vazquez and Ramos have special handshakes the pair started creating “when we first had aspirations of winning the Champions League”.

The pair bet on who will score the most goals, which Ramos would have won with his 11 compared Vazquez’s five.

And they love to wind up Ballon d’Or winner Modric.

As Vazquez and Ramos talk about their prospects of winning the Copa del Rey, Modric can be seen speaking on a video call next to them.

“Modric is on the phone all day,” says Ramos. “We give him a hard time, plus he starts talking Croatian very loudly, so we give him an even harder time.”

He practices Panenka penalties… a lot

Many of Ramos’ 108 goals for club and country have come from the penalty spot and he favours the ‘Panenka’ style chip down the middle of the goal.

Ramos is shown practising the technique long after training has finished.

He says he started using it as he scored in Spain’s penalty shootout win against Portugal in the Euro 2012 semi-finals, just months after he missed a penalty against Bayern Munich in the 2012 Champions League semi-final.

“We have all copied someone and in this case it was Panenka, often the easiest thing to do is the hardest,” he adds.

He’s a family man but his isn’t his child’s favourite player

His three children Sergio Jr, Marco and Alejandro and wife Pilar are clearly the most important things in Ramos’ life.

We see Ramos play football with his kids in the garden, give them advice and lament being away from his family.

He also reveals that, before he met TV presenter Pilar, he “dreamt of her for three nights in a row”, adding: “I thought she was a bit out of my league, but she eventually came around.”

And in the Ramos household, the defender is not his son’s favourite player, with Sergio Jr choosing Modric instead.

While he may have broken his brother’s nose when they were younger, Rene is Ramos’ closest confidant.

And going through his vast football shirt collection, which includes those worn by David Beckham, Frank Lampard, Andres Iniesta, Lionel Messi and Roberto Carlos, he holds up a “legendary” one with Rene’s name on the back, from his playing days in a third division side.

Sergio Ramos and brother and agent Rene

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#Gossip Sergio Ramos: What we learned from his new documentary

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years ago

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Skam season 3, episode 3 reaction

Thank you to everyone who has been reading and commenting so far! I love hearing people’s thoughts on S3 and reading anecdotes about other viewing experiences. This episode has some moments with a lot of room for varying interpretations; I would love to hear other POVs if you got a different reading out of a scene. It’s also one of the episodes where we have the original scripts, so we can compare the first draft with the finished product.

Episode 3 feels like an impending train wreck up until the very end, where Robyn intervenes to keep things on track.

SEASON 3, EPISODE 3 - “Now you’re bonding too much”

Clip 1 - Damage control, part 1

Isak starts off literally on the sidelines as he deals with the fallout of his ill-conceived lies as Emma writes a long text saying it’s fine if he’s not interested but he doesn’t have to give her false hope. Well, he is giving her some false hope, but we’ve also see him express reluctance over hanging out with her and partying with her. I can’t help but feel a little bit bad for him because even if he did make this mess himself, he also didn’t want to do the party with Emma in the first place. He’s created his own problems but they’re a result of his struggles with internalized homophobia and his need to maintain a typical heterosexual dudebro exterior. He really needs to learn to stop waffling and giving in to what people expect or want from him and start speaking up for himself, but of course he can’t quite do that until he starts being honest with himself and others.

Emma demonstrates her maturity by writing a reasonable-ish text message at 21:35, then complaining that he doesn’t answer at 22:01, then apologizing and asking him to reply at 22:18, then calling him an asshole at 22:30. This is one of my greatest personal pet peeves so I’m not exactly feeling sympathy for her at not getting a text reply within an hour. Some of us take naps or go to the movies or do stuff that requires us to be away from our phones for an hour.

I’ve been wondering why Julie chose to write Emma the way she did, because if you think about it, Isak could have had a female “love interest” who was really cool and smart and seemingly perfect for him, if not for the fact that he’s gay and can’t make himself be interested in her. If I had to guess, I’d guess Emma is characterized like this because someone more mature or level-headed might be able to pick up on the massive hints that he isn’t into her, or in any case might not be so doggedly persistent in getting Isak’s attention. Instead, she’s beautiful and sweet enough, if ignorant in certain aspects, but she’s not someone Isak can just shake off by being distant. He has to deal with the consequences of flirting with her when he doesn’t mean it, because she won’t just go away if he ignores her.

Additionally, I guess having a “love interest” like her only make it more obvious how right Even is for Isak, not just in the sense of Even being a boy but being someone with whom he forms a natural connection. Isak with Emma acts fake, Isak with Even acts real.

I’m not trying to hate on Emma, by the way; I know there’s an ugly side of fandom that can OTT bash her or Sonja not for their actual flaws but for existing. With Emma it’s complicated because she does do some shitty stuff later on that is legitimately worthy of criticism. Ultimately I think she doesn’t come off as well as someone like Sonja, or even Ingrid or Iben in S1, who are similarly minor characters causing problems for our POV character, but at this point in the story I still had plenty of sympathy for her. Isak is being unfair to her.

Mahdi calls Isak a traitor as he sits down and goes in on him for cancelling the party. It’s not really a surprise that Isak ended up snapping at him later in the season - obviously I love the boy squad and things worked out well and they became an adorable friendship crew, but these two clashed a lot in the first part of S3. To be fair to Mahdi, Isak has in the space of two episodes lost the group’s weed and randomly cancelled a pre-party by lying to everyone involved. Not good bro behavior.

More to add to my theory that they’re relatively new friends and Mahdi is in this group via Jonas: he has no idea about Isak’s mom situation. I can’t remember if Magnus knows - I don’t remember him talking about it although “Magnus” has known Isak for a while if you count David’s early appearances. But even if you assume Isak is holding back on the specific details, Mahdi doesn’t seem to know that there’s anything unusual about what’s going on with his mom.

Isak is lying here again by mentioning his mom but it’s at least a convincing lie for once. He knows that Jonas will realize the seriousness of what he’s implying, and he also probably won’t press him too hard about the situation. It’s a little shitty that he uses the very serious issue of his mom’s illness - something that Jonas has helped Isak deal with firsthand - as a cover story for the real reason he bailed on Friday. But Isak’s mom is also a constant source of stress and worry for him so there is some truth in it.

Nice acting from Marlon when Jonas’ face changes as soon as Isak mentions his mom. Jonas being so protective and concerned for Isak = 💛💛💛

Mahdi of course doesn’t get it, because moms being stressed is just a thing moms do, they get upset because the kids made a mess or the car broke down or the dog dug a hole in the couch. “Stress” implies something far more mundane than the real situation with Isak’s mom.

Jonas asks simply how Isak’s mother is doing, nothing more, and Mahdi then manages to pick up from Isak’s expression and a serious shared look with Jonas that more is happening with Isak than he realizes. It’s noted in the script that he realizes here. So he drops the argument and tells Isak to just arrange a new pre-party. Case closed, as Jonas and Mahdi say!

Of course, you can tell from Isak’s expression that the case is not closed. First of all, he’s still lying to his friends. Second, how is he going to get a new pre-drink arranged with those girls when Emma is pissed off at him? Third, arranging a new pre-drink will not solve Isak’s rather large problem of not wanting to drink with Emma because he is not interested in her in the slightest.

There’s an IG post from Isak of the boys playing video games the next day, so things were chill again pretty quick.

Clip 2 - The Gay Test

This clip takes place on Mandag, 3:03, for anyone who wants to keep track of the repeating numbers.

Man, this fucking scene. This is bleak.

We start with Isak staring at the ceiling, just staring. You can imagine the million things that are on his mind. He reaches over for his phone and we get one of those biblical texts from his mom. Not as apocalyptic as usual, but still one more thing to cause him “stress” to borrow a euphemism. All these texts are both reminders that not only his mom is struggling with mental illness, she might not accept him if she knew certain facts about him. Facts which are heavily on his mind as of late.

Also, I guess Isak just sleeps in his underwear since we see it happen a few times, but the fact that he’s not dressed works for this being a very stripped down sort of scene, where Isak gets down to the heart of the matter on his laptop. Confronting ideas about his own sexuality directly even if he’s just typing them into a search engine.

This whole clip is the definition of show, don’t tell, and Tarjei does such excellent acting here, especially considering that he’s using a pretty limited range of facial expressions and body language. Which makes sense, to be clear - he’s alone in his room at 3:03, he doesn’t need to be projecting his feelings to other characters or overreacting. But despite the fact that he’s not asked to go through a huge range here, man does this kid get across everything you need to know about what’s running through Isak’s mind. In fact the stillness works in his favor here, emphasizing his dead-inside, hopeless stare.

His acting carries this scene when there’s no voice-over or exposition to walk us through what’s happening. For instance, when Isak looks at Emma’s picture on Facebook, there’s no explanation, but we understand. He’s trying to see if he feels anything toward it, any attraction at all. He’s probably trying to make himself feel some attraction.

We don’t actually see the search that led to him finding the gay test, but you can probably assume it was something like how to know if you’re gay or am I gay or something like that. But it might have been interesting to see exactly how he phrased it, to note the level of detachment or certainty in the phrasing.

This fucking test. A real test, by the way! The scripts have the links for the websites Isak visits in this clip, so Julie did her research. This scene was written around the existence of this crap. Did she get advised by RL gay people about the “empty closets” website while talking to members of the LGBT community for this season? Did she just Google “am I gay” and “how to get turned on by girls if you are gay” in order to find some appropriate links?

I was reluctant to give that website hits, but I did want to see exactly what the rest of the questions were, so I went through the test.

The quiz is 20 questions and they’re all about personal grooming and style habits, gay-friendly pop culture, and avoidance of emotions. Nowhere in this quiz to determine whether someone is gay does it ask questions like “Are you attracted to men?” “Do you want to have sex with men?” “Do you fall in love with men?” Anything that has to with the actual definition of being a gay man. It is all about the stereotypes of having a “gay” personality.

Not only is this quiz is very stupid (obviously), but it also covers a very narrow perspective of what it means to be gay. A lot of the questions assume a middle- or upper-middle-class lifestyle and a selective pool of interests. It’s also an American-centric quiz and one that seems rather dated. There’s one question about who won season 1 of Project Runway - a season that aired in 2004, when Isak was five years old. How can this possibly be an accurate judge of Isak’s sexuality? But for a vulnerable teenager, it doesn’t matter that the test is ludicrous. It’s just reinforcing his worst fears of what a gay man has to be, muddling his perception of who he is. Because on the one hand, if this is what a gay man is, then Isak can’t be gay. He’s not one of those gay guys. But on the other hand, he still feels like he has to distance himself from these ideas of what gay is so he’s not seen that way. It’s all very messy.

This part is specifically mentioned in the script: Isak hovers over the time travel question, seeming like he’s going to choose Moulin Rouge but picking Woodstock, the less “gay’ seeming option. Trying not to get too high of a score on the quiz. It’s very depressing that he needs to monitor himself like this - I mean, this is a dumbass online quiz and he’s taking it alone at night! Who cares? Sometimes I take Buzzfeed quizzes like “Design a taco and we’ll tell you what tropical fish you are” but does it tell me anything about myself if it says I’m a suckermouth catfish? No. Really he just doesn’t want this insignificant test to confirm something he already fears about himself.

Also we never see him watch any Baz Luhrmann films other than Romeo + Juliet, but I wonder if he watched Moulin Rouge and that sparked his interest in almost picking that option. Baz Luhrmann’s filmography isn’t that large; he’s directed the Red Curtain Trilogy (Strictly Ballroom, R+J, and Moulin Rouge), Australia, and The Great Gatsby, plus the pilot of The Get Down. You could watch all of his movies in a weekend. I know Isak is pretty upset and about to get focused on being “straight” but he had time to research and listen to Nas’ discography sometime this week, so it’s not unreasonable he also checked out other Baz films.

(Only three of those five films are tragedies, by the way! If Isak had stumbled upon Strictly Ballroom, perhaps this season would have turned out differently.)

If he watched Moulin Rouge, by that way, that might add some extra hesitation over the question. A reminder of Even, a reminder of these feelings that are causing him so much pain.

He’s 20% gay, which by this test’s standards is not very gay, but probably too gay for his liking.

how to get turned on by girls if you are gay - I think it’s the “if you are gay” bit that makes this particularly depressing, because Isak knows what he is. He might be taking The Gay Test but really he knows he is gay. This isn’t really about him struggling with feelings for a guy for the first time and figuring out what that means about himself. This season isn’t about Isak realizing that he is gay. He’s known for a while; he’s likely known since he had a crush on Jonas, at least. It’s just that this time with Even, these feelings are coming to the forefront; this time, he almost found himself in a situation where a guy liked him back, and that leaves him with a different range of options than crushing on a straight dude where it’s “safe” in the sense that it’ll never happen. If a guy likes him back, it’s more dangerous, because something can happen. This Google search is about Isak trying to find out how to force a heterosexual side from himself despite knowing it’s fake.

In the script he does a search for “how to get turned on by girls if you are 22% gay” which I’m guessing they changed either to get the right search results on screen or because that phrasing is kind of humorous despite the topic, and it’s at odds with the serious tone of Isak’s struggle here.

Actually, I take it back. You know what is the most depressing about this part? That these are all real forums and posts from closeted gay people. Not fake websites made up for the show, as you would see in most television series. Real comments from real gay guys, talking about how to force themselves to get aroused by women.

“I get drunk and try to focus on what is attractive about the girl. Works for me.” A real person wrote that.

I wasn’t watching this in real time yet, and I actually saw the pre-drink clip before I saw this one so I wasn’t worried about the pre-drink ending in Isak sleeping with a girl, but I can imagine a sense of foreboding from this clip? Particularly with the focus on the advice about sleeping with a girl. I can definitely imagine that it’d seem like Isak was about to make himself have sex with Emma (or another girl). I am so, so glad that Julie didn’t put Isak through that. It’s depressing enough to see him just think about it.

Clip 3 - Damage control, part 2

Ahhh, it’s the first appearance of Isak’s locker! Things are spilling out of it, he has a hard time cramming his belongings inside and keeping it shut.

So to translate the metaphor of Isak’s locker of self-acceptance: Isak knows he is gay, he has spent the past week indulging in his attraction to Even, and now he’s going to force all those feelings back inside no matter what it takes.

Also, in the script, the locker is able to be closed once Isak says he won’t host the party, so he’s closing it by turning down this opportunity to potentially hang with Even - the whole reason he got roped into hosting in the first place by asking if there would be more kosegruppa meetings.

Lmao, Isak seems incredibly stressed out by his locker, like Tarjei is breathing heavily and he has these wild eyes at the end when he turns back to Vilde. Keeping his locker shut sure must take a toll on him.

Isak blames other people for not being able to host the party instead of owning up to the real reason, which of course he would never admit out loud. He wanted to know if there would be more kosegruppa meetings, in case Even would come, but now Even is the last thing he wants to think about. With this party, Even might not only show up, but could bring his beautiful girlfriend along.

Oh, Isak. Before you told this lie, you should have counted on Eskild having contacts with Noora’s social circle. Eskild, not want to host a party? Please.

He then pins it on Linn which is at least a more believable lie. Linn is the one who asks her roommates to keep it down and wants to stay home and chill. But Vilde makes the point that Linn is depressed and doesn’t want to do anything, and it’s their job to make sure she does stuff. Which is actually very astute of Vilde. Speaking as someone who has dealt with depression, people can definitely go overboard in trying to help. Like everything, there’s a balance: you should respect the wishes of someone with depression and not think you know better than they do about how to handle their mental illness. But it’s also good to have people who want to check in on you and pull you out of your shell. Not to mention, you know, this is additional foreshadowing for the importance of mental health issues this season.

Also let’s note that Vilde knows this probably because of her mom’s own issues, that she realizes she needs to give her mom a push sometimes. Sure, she really wants Isak to host that party. But she’s also speaking from experience. (The execution of Magnus/Vilde is annoying but in the bare bones of them, they’re both naive/silly characters who are harder to take seriously on a surface level but have a lot of hidden wisdom and maturity about certain issues.)

But Vilde also thought Even was a psychopath so she’s not perfect about mental illness, either.

There’s a gifset of Vilde talking during this scene juxtaposed with Isak staring at her blankly and it’s one of my favorite gifsets ever.

I will never stop laughing about how Isak just gives in to whatever Vilde asks of him.

Vilde texts him afterwards about the party and he gives one-word answers that are about as enthusiastic as his texts to Emma.

It’s freaky how much Isak is able to switch on his cool straight guy persona. Just a minute ago he was all frazzled by a battle with his locker and then losing a battle about hosting the party to Vilde, and now he’s going to be all Smooth Charming Totally Digs Girls Isak.

Lol, I’ll say this, it’s a pretty good transformation. Once he gets going I don’t see any cracks in the facade even knowing that he’s struggling internally.

Even in his apology where he calls himself an asshole, he manages to neg her, kinda. Or whatever you’d call it with that little twist at the end implying he’s got another “cute girl” and Emma. It’s a joke but damn, fake Isak is such a little shit.

I didn’t really notice before but Isak is a little similar to Even here, getting Emma to loosen up by his big talk and charm, kind of like how Even breaks through to Isak with his story about Sonja’s aluminum leg later on. Though Isak is using a truthful story to move forward with his fake interest in Emma, and Even uses a false story to move forward with his real interest in Isak.

This clip ends on such a superficially lighthearted note but it doesn’t make you feel good. Instead it creates this sensation of dread.

This scene is so frustrating because like … Isak could have let this thing with Emma die after he canceled on her pre-drink. Sure, he would have had a first-year girl who didn’t like him, but big deal, in the scheme of things. Or he could have just apologized to her with no flirtation, been upfront about not wanting to take this thing with them further. But he creates an additional problem here by stoking Emma’s interest again. You can see this crashing and burning from a mile away.

Clip 4 - Hello dance chicks

This dance routine goes on too long, lmao, like this lasts more than a minute. Which, to be fair, is probably how it feels when you’re a closeted gay boy having to look at dancing girls because your friends like the view. But it’s also kinda like someone on the crew was like, “Hey Julie, would it be cool if we showcase my cousin and her dance team in this clip?” and Julie was too polite to say no. (This is not actually what I think happened, for the record.)

As noted in the script, this is another instance of Isak trying to make himself feel something, some bit of attraction to these physically fit, tightly-clothed girls, but all he can get out of it is fixation on weird details like the size of one girl’s hands.

“Did he have to be so gay?” Isak, no. Don’t do this.

This is a direct consequence of crap like “the gay test” that fixates on stereotypes and maintaining a masculine image. It’s really sad that we see Isak try to promote this stuff when he’s raw with insecurity over it.

Also, dude, legit no one in your squad cares about whether that guy is gay. They’re all preoccupied with salivating over girls in activewear.

Later on in the episode we’ll hear Even criticize the act of making generalizations against gay people, something that Isak himself is doing here: generalizing that people who act like that must be gay and generalizing that people who are gay act like that. Like Emma claiming that her generalization isn’t a problem because it’s not negative, Isak tries to defend his comment once Jonas calls him on it by saying that he’s not “dissing” him but merely pointing out a fact. A very weak argument when the comment starts with Isak complaining about the guy being too gay.

Shoutout to Marlon’s utterly baffled face when Isak pulls this shit out of nowhere. It is very ironic that Jonas did encourage some of Isak’s insecurity in S1 with his comments about gay songs and going along with OG Elias’ gay jokes, but now Jonas seems to have matured beyond that behavior between seasons, and Isak, the actual gay guy, is the one left behind, struggling with internalized homophobia.

Also, whether or not Jonas suspects Isak is gay at all at this point, it’s good that he called out his friend for saying some offensive crap. A lot of guys would laugh along or let the comment pass unchecked. S1 Jonas didn’t call out Elias and even acted like Isak was unreasonable for being upset. S3 Jonas is one hell of an upgrade on that front.

Lol, if you didn’t like Jonas in S1, S3 is his redemption arc. I was biased because I came into S1 having seen part of S3, so I knew Jonas was going to turn out to be an awesome dude. But it is really striking how the alternating POV structure can reveal different sides to characters, and Jonas is one of the characters with possibly the biggest differences revealed. Eva’s season shows Jonas at his worst; Isak’s season shows Jonas at his best. Some of that is definitely getting a year between them to account for Jonas’ increased maturity, and some of it is just being able to know Jonas in the context of a romantic relationship vs. in the context of a friendship.

Jonas mentions that Isak has been grouchy, because Jonas pays attention to his best bro’s well-being, because he cares!! So damn much!!

Mahdi is still checking out the girls and not paying a lick of attention to this Isak-Jonas argument when Even walks up, by the way.

GODDAMMIT HENRIK, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO TALL

It burns me up inside that Even was wearing the snapback before he throws it to Isak and we didn’t get to see it. Because Henrik is a long, long man. Well, mostly because Julie shot it at that angle.

On the other hand, the angle works really well to create more tension in the scene. Even is towering over Isak and the other boys. His presence is sudden and big. He’s the looming problem that Isak can’t ignore. Isak is sitting down, off-guard. Not only is Even suddenly dominating this moment that was between Isak and his friends, he and Isak are literally not on the same level, both physically and in their interaction. As helpfully pointed out in the script, “Isak doesn’t understand shit about what just happened.”

In the script, Even not only is wearing the snapback, but he sticks it on Isak when he returns it, and like, I can see why that might be considered too much (and Isak immediately panics and takes it off in the script) but god DAMN do I want to see footage where they tried it this way.

Lmao, so did Even know where to find Isak? Or was he wandering around the school with Isak’s hat, hoping to run into him? Or wearing it just because he liked having Isak’s hat on his head?

How much do you want to bet that Isak left the snapback behind because he was desperate to get out of Even’s apartment and away from the Even/Sonja makeout session as fast as possible?

Even, on the other hand, was probably glad to have the hat as an excuse to talk to Isak again.

This scene could have gone very differently had Even found Isak alone instead of with the boy squad. Or, looking at it another way, did Even intentionally approach Isak when he wasn’t alone in order to nullify some of the tension from the situation? Because, even apart from Sonja’s appearance, there was some serious chemistry happening on Friday, I’m sure Even fell harder for Isak than he’d even expected. But his relationship with Sonja hangs between them. Maybe he thought having other people there would make the vibe less fraught. You underestimated how much Isak does not want his bros to know, Even.

The way the atmosphere changes when Even walks in … you can feel Isak’s blood freeze. He just watches Even toss the snapback to him with no effort to catch it because he’s too shocked by what’s happening. He’s so panicked he can come up with absolutely no lies to salvage this situation.

Even is bouncing a little after he approaches Isak, which seems to be a nervous gesture for him. He might seem like the cool confident dude, and sure, Even is often confident and makes the first moves in his pursuit of Isak. But he’s also got a lot of deep-rooted vulnerability. If something happens with Isak … it’ll mean he has to end things with Sonja, a person who has seen Even at his lowest points and still accepts him, cutting off a relationship that has been a source of stability and support despite its serious flaws. And it’ll mean taking a chance on a new person who might not be so okay with the parts of himself Even hates the most.

Even, bless him, reads the tense situation without Isak saying anything. Even though they’re not on the same page, Even can at least tell that Isak is hiding something from his friends. This is one of those early moments that made me really like him - how easily and quickly he can read the room and especially what Isak is feeling, and can act quickly to help him out, similar to how Even handles Emma wanting to pair off with Isak at kosegruppa. He’s a very perceptive person. And he throws out a lie for Isak very casually and shrugs it off and walks away.

Isak is very confused by this encounter, and with scenes where Isak has no idea what’s happened I like to consider Even’s unseen side of the story (to be fair, I like to consider that for ... pretty much all scenes). So I’m trying to imagine what Even wanted or expected from this moment. This is the first scene where he’s interacting with Isak after a life-changing Friday afternoon where they got to know each other and fell hard for each other. That meeting ended with Even’s long-term girlfriend came by, bringing a cold dose of reality to this magical afternoon. So what does Even think will happen when he finds Isak again? What does he hope will happen?

I think from Even’s POV, this certainly wasn’t what he wanted to happen the next time he spoke to Isak. Isak was very clearly not happy with Even’s presence in that moment, which is never a great feeling. But if Even turned this moment over in his head - what was that all about? - he would have to consider that Isak was hiding something from his friends, specifically that he hung out with Even on Friday. So why didn’t Isak want to tell them? What’s so objectionable about two guys randomly hanging out and smoking weed together? Because if there wasn’t anything to hide, why couldn’t Isak just say, “Oh, thanks for returning my hat, hey guys, this is Even?” So then Even would run through the possibilities. Maybe Isak had other plans with these guys, and he bailed on them. But then why did he bail? Because he didn’t want to hang with them, or because he really wanted to hang with Even? Orrrrr …. Was there something else to that afternoon that Isak feels he can’t tell his friends about, and if so, what was that?

IDK, if I were in Even’s shoes, I would be analyzing the hell out of what just happened trying to pick out some meaning from it. And I think while I might be really hurt and disappointed in the moment, when I had been semi-rejected by Isak, if I thought about it further, I might feel a spark of hope over Isak’s reaction. Because maybe this feeling isn’t one-sided. Maybe that afternoon had more significance to Isak than just a fun hangout.

Of course this is all assuming Even is like me and obsesses over the little details of a confusing social interaction. He might have just thought, “Time to try again!” and started picking out the perfect outfit for Friday. We don’t get any clues between this scene and Even showing up at the party to tell us what he might have been thinking.

The script makes it clear that Jonas remembers that Isak was wearing the snapback when they left the school on Friday, therefore realizing that Even was lying. Let’s applaud Jonas’ observational skills because tbh, I would not remember what hat my friends were wearing last week unless it was super out of the ordinary. I guess if one of them were borrowing my own hat I might mentally keep track of it? Still, Jonas is killing it this season with recognizing stuff’s up with Isak.

Isak and Jonas share clothes and I love it, by the way 💛💛💛

Isak calling Even “just some revue nerd from Vilde’s group” stings, man. I know he is obviously lying and Even is already so much more to him, but I’m glad Even wasn’t around to hear that. Like Isak dismissing Even that way is painful on Isak’s part, too. If only Even was “just some revue nerd” Isak wouldn’t be feeling like shit.

Honestly, bless Magnus for interrupting this miserable scenario with his weird-ass BDSM dreams. If ever there was a time where you needed your goofball friend to start talking about getting tied up and punished with a whip, this is it.

Some of Isak’s reaction to Magnus’ story seems like Tarjei laughing at his friend David delivering these ridiculous lines and some of it seems like he and Jonas can’t help but look at each other all are you hearing this shit and at one point it seems like Isak casts a look at Jonas as if to be like so are we done with the topic of gay people and my bad attitude and the revue nerd now? Are you distracted enough to forget it for now? Are we cool?

That whole moment with Even happened so quickly, you know that it was one of those incidents that goes by fast and is hard to process while it’s occurring. But as we later learn, it stuck with Jonas for a while.

So far, Isak has lied or taken part in a lie in every single clip this week: his mom’s “stress,” the gay test (lying to himself or trying to figure out how to live a lie), lying to Vilde about why he can’t host the party, lying to Jonas about who Even is and when Even got his snapback.

Clip 5 - Neon pre-game

This was the first Skam clip I ever saw!

The clip popped up in my recommendations on YouTube, and I was pulling an Isak and messing around on my laptop late at night, so I decided to watch. I fully expected to watch for a minute and then switch to something else, but no, this one clip had me hooked.

I know this is just like, a fun party theme where all the kids can get dressed up in wacky wigs and bright colors, but I think there’s something to both this scene and the 21:21 clip in the next episode that the setting is out of the ordinary and that allows the flirtation between Isak and Even to escalate. In this clip, it’s a party, the lights are turned down, everyone’s dressed unusually. Things are already out of the norm. It’s because things aren’t ordinary that this situation with Isak and Even can be pushed a little farther. It’s when the lights are low and everyone’s dancing with painted faces that Isak and Even can lock eyes while they’re kissing girls because it’s something off from their usual reality. When the lights come up and the music’s off and everyone’s grabbing their coats to leave and go back into the rest of the world, breaking the spell, and Even levels that stare at Isak - that’s too real, that makes Isak look away. But it’s that slightly surreal, slightly dreamy vibe that allows for Isak and Even to take a step forward.

I love seeing Linn dressed up and socializing! Vilde was right, she needed a push.

Chris is here, but not Kasper, which is probably just due to actor availability since he’s mentioned in the script. It would have been nice to get some more insight into that relationship and especially what ended it, since we get so little of Chris’ inner life. I mean, Vilde/Magnus is also a “joke” relationship in a lot of respects and we still got more of a clue of why they might have something genuine besides a shared interest in TMI.

The script had Jonas calling Isak and Isak presumably ignoring him, a detail that is left out of the final clip. Jonas does mention that he tried to call Isak in a clip next episode, though.

Notice we open the dialogue with Isak asking Emma what music she likes, aka the question that Even asked him on Friday. Which is a common enough icebreaker, but I don’t think these facts are unrelated! Like I realize Isak has dating experience but really Isak takes a lot of cues from Even in navigating a real romantic relationship, little things that come up later on. And also, as much as Isak might be trying to be straight, trying to make it work with Emma, his mind is clearly drifting back to that afternoon with Even. How right it must have felt compared to this thing with Emma or with other girls, and how, maybe without even thinking about it much, he’s referring back to his interaction to Even as a model of how to flirt.

Lmao I mean, Justin Bieber ain’t my favorite musical artist either, but I feel like Isak’s reaction to Emma being a fan is so typical of dudes. I will give Emma some credit, she laughs off his teasing and doesn’t get too insecure about his comments, at least not visibly. And when he asks her about ‘90s hip-hop she admits she doesn’t know much about it instead of pretending to (ISAK).

Isak also sounds like a typical dude when talking about his musical tastes to Emma. However, Isak suddenly being an expert on Nas is the funniest shit ever. Emma, let me tell you all about the greatest musical artist ever, who I learned about a week ago! Tarjei plays this moment really well because I kinda cringed and I also laughed really hard.

It also shows that, even with Isak taking gay tests and trying to flirt with Emma this week, he found time to research and listen to Nas, someone important to Even.

In the script Vilde throws herself at Even into a hug when he enters and then it’s mentioned that “Vilde awkwardly greets Sonja,” which is kind of a random detail. I guess the awkwardness comes from Vilde launching herself too enthusiastically into a hug at Even in front of his girlfriend? Was Vilde supposed to be kinda thirsty for Even, thinking he was a single dude and wanting to get with someone (out of jealousy at her friends hooking up)?

The script also has Isak deliberately ignore Even when he tries to say hi, which wouldn’t have worked with the positioning of the actors in this scene, but it’s obviously colder than what we get here.

Looking ahead to S4, I’m still on the fence about how much Julie really thought about the Sana-Even connection - there are things that make me think she did plan it to a degree, there are things that seem retconned - but I’ve never thought this moment of Sonja introducing herself to Sana has to be a big inconsistency with Even and Sana knowing each other. All he had to do was tell Sonja beforehand that Sana would be at the party and that he didn’t want to call attention to the fact that they knew each other before he went to Nissen, and she probably would have agreed to play along like they were strangers.

I think Emma placed Isak’s hand on her boob because he momentarily stopped paying attention to her by looking at Even. But I don’t think she realized why he stopped paying attention to her.

Emma: “My bra will be bothering me until I can TAKE IT OFF I mean just a suggestion really it’d be so welcome to get out of it ha ha ha.”

I was going to laugh and say Isak could not look less interested in touching Emma’s boob but then I took another look at Tarjei’s face and remembered that Isak is supposed to be forcing himself to be turned on by girls, and mentally he was probably thinking okay, here’s your chance, focus and suddenly it got a lot less funny.

Jesus Lord, that look Even sends Isak from across the room while draping his jacket over his shoulder. While clad in that tight white T-shirt. He means business. No mystery at all why Isak takes that moment to gulp down his beer and start making out with Emma. This is certainly a challenge Isak is undertaking for himself, trying to be straight, but it’s also a fuck-you to Even (and not in the way Even wants). Hey Even, we flirt all afternoon and then your girlfriend comes in? Then you bring her to my apartment and give me that look across the room? Well, fuck you, I’m not dealing with your mixed signals now.

There is such a clear difference between when Isak makes out with girls versus when he kisses Even. With Emma here (and with Sara in S2) you can see how calculated it is; the way Isak rubs his hands over her back, the way he tilts his head in a coordinated way, the length of the kisses. It feels entirely like a performance with those girls, like there’s something cerebral about it, his mind is working on how to make it seem real from the outside. When Isak eventually kisses Even, it just seems like he’s … not thinking. Or maybe he’s thinking, but not because he’s trying to perform. With Even, Isak just wants to kiss him. He’s not worried about making it look good, he’s concentrated on how good it feels, and he’s just reacting on instinct with what his body wants.

I would pay to see a version of this scene where Even plops down on the sofa and Emma is like, “Endre, Isak was just telling me about Nas, he says he made the best album of all time!”

Also, it wouldn’t have worked with Isak’s POV, but don’t you wish we could have seen Even’s face when he noticed Isak had his hand on Emma’s boob, and especially when Isak broke their loaded eye contact to make out with Emma? Like can you imagine on Even’s end, when he’s kind of still in that conversational bubble with Sonja and Vilde, how he burst out of it? OK GOTTA BLAST BYEEEEEEE

And then he launches across the room like he’s auditioning for The Flash.

“I’m starting to think you’re bonding too much” Subtle, Even.

“I thought we were a team?” SUBTLE.

Even does do an admirable job of trying to seem cheerful and not possessive or jealous, but you can see him deflate a little once he shakes Isak’s shoulder and compliments his apartment and Isak is just not having it, and meanwhile Emma gets to lean in to Isak taking advantage of that proximity.

Lmao, can you imagine if these three actually attempted to bake bread or whatever for kosegruppa? All the passive-aggressiveness and competing for Isak’s attention, and Isak wanting to sink into the floor? I’ll say it again, I will never not feel a little cheated that we didn’t get more actual kosegruppa shenanigans.

It’s kinda funny that Emma is raving about Eskild considering they could have met only like an hour or so ago. And already she’s like “HE’S GAY, LIFE OF THE PARTY!”

Shout out to Eskild, Linn, and Chris’ dancing though. Loves of my life right there.

Even is honestly a very nice person, I think kindness is one of his defining qualities, but man, he does not care for Emma. Though even when he’s calling her out on her generalizing about gay people, he’s not being excessively rude to her? He’s not calling her homophobic or ignorant or anything, he’s just challenging her and explaining to her why it’s offensive. And he’s justified in doing so anyway, it’s not like he targeted her over something stupid. What she’s saying affects him as a pansexual person.

Actually, Emma harboring generalizations about gay people is perhaps part of why she didn’t consider that the boy turning down a blowjob from her and giving her mixed messages might be gay. He’s not ~hilarious and fitting into her ideas about gay people. To be clear, I’m not trying to put all the blame on her, because Isak is also randomly making out with her and encouraging her crush on him, too. But she’s just got a limited view of gay people and their experiences, as evidenced by other stuff later in the season.

Man, the way Isak’s head turns when Even calls Emma out on using superficial generalizations. This conversation is just what he needed to hear at this moment. That his paranoia over stuff like the gay test, his criticisms of the dance instructor for seeming too gay, all of that crap, are wrong. They’re inaccurate. Just because he likes guys does not mean Isak has to be this way or that way. That he can be an individual rather than having to cram himself into boxes that don’t fit. That if he identifies as gay, it doesn’t mean that everyone can sum up his existence by that one adjective. And he’s hearing it from exactly the best person who could say it at this moment: the guy he likes. Imagine what a relief it is to know not only that Even doesn’t buy into this bullshit, but also that he will vocally speak out against it. And you know that Isak is also wondering more about whether Even is not straight based on this conversation because it sounds like Even has given this topic a lot of thought.

Also when Emma is objecting to Even’s comments, she turns back to Isak, maybe for reinforcement, or maybe because she doesn’t want to lose an argument in front of him, and he quickly lowers his gaze, because he doesn’t want to seem too interested in what Even is saying. But of course Isak is intensely interested. Emma isn’t even quite in focus in some of these shots. It’s all Isak zeroing in on Even’s perspective.

Even also uses the “All Muslims are terrorists” example as a comparison, and it was one of the moments that people took as potential evidence that Even had an interest in Islam and possibly knew Sana. After S4, we know that this example is personal to him because his best friends were Muslims and experienced the harm from those generalizations.

Additionally, if you consider that Even had a suicidal episode prior to this season that had something to do with shame over liking boys, this is quite a bit of self-reflection to have gained in the meantime. I’m not sure we ever learn exactly when Even’s suicide attempt took place (like what month and exactly how much school he missed)? But in the period between the suicide attempt and S3, Even appeared to have gained a lot of acceptance about his sexuality.

As I said above, this is the first Skam clip I ever saw, and this moment right here, with Even and Emma talking on the couch, was the one that really grabbed my attention. I was impressed with this part because it seemed to have more nuance and maturity than a lot of similar takes on homophobia - I feel like a lot of shows sometimes still don’t get that positive generalizations are still generalizations? And I definitely feel like many shows’ characters wouldn’t have a discussion about it.

And for what it’s worth, I really liked Even after this exchange and it’s one of many moments that made it harder for me to think that he was two-timing or using Isak. This seemed very genuine and thoughtful, and like he was someone who had strong investment in the topic.

Not to drag Emma too much again, but her calling this conversation ��boring” is something that makes me, well, less than fond of her. In fact I find her calling this conversation boring and flouncing away a lot worse than making a generalization about gay people in the first place. Because people do say offensive things out of ignorance; Isak certainly says his fair share of crap regarding gay people this season. But people can also be educated about these points. For instance, Isak takes Eskild’s Pride speech seriously. It’s that Emma doesn’t take Even’s comments seriously that’s bad. That she doesn’t want to confront that she may be perpetuating harmful ideas. I don’t expect her to fall over herself apologizing but this conversation has not permeated her brain at all. This isn’t a “boring” conversation to Isak, who is gay, and who needs this conversation at the moment. The fact that Emma can call it boring and walk away is some massive straight privilege. I don’t want to demonize her too much because she is only like 16, but yeah, girl is very ignorant about LGBT issues.

HERE WE GO, ANOTHER ICONIC S3 MOMENT.

I never really noticed but at the beginning of Call Your Girlfriend, when we’re watching Isak bop along (adorably), you can see Even’s neon bandanna at the side of the frame, out of focus. It reminds me a lot of shots where we are firmly in Isak’s POV, such as in the Talk Show Host courtyard walk, where part of Isak’s head is at the side of the frame out of focus, almost like we’re watching over his shoulder, or directly seeing through his eyes. So this moment in Call Your Girlfriend, whether intentional or not, almost seems like we’re watching through Even’s eyes as he looks at Isak dancing. It doesn’t work perfectly, since Isak eventually looks off to the side at Even (and not at the camera) but I like to think of Even watching Isak as he danced with Emma, turning back to Sonja a moment before Isak looked over at Even.

So I love the Evak nose rubs as much as anyone, that’s their special thing, but Even does it here to Sonja as they’re dancing. My headcanon is going to be that Isak saw this and deliberately instigated it with Even in the bed scene as a way of making it theirs. I really think Isak takes a lot of cues from Even, as mentioned earlier, more than he realizes consciously.

Also, while I think Even making out with Sonja at the end of S2 was for Sonja’s benefit, in this scene I think a lot of the Even/Sonja making out is a performance for Isak. Which is not really fair to Sonja, but well, there you go. Even saw Isak making out with Emma, he suspects it was for show (if nothing else he knows Isak was not enthused to be in a kosegruppa group with Emma and so his interest probably isn’t genuine), and this is his way of saying two can play that game.

never 4get the iconic script line by Julie in reference to Isak’s dancing, “lol Tarjei”

THIS SONG, by the way. This song is a jam anyway but talk about those completely on-point lyrics.

This is one of those diegetic music moments where the characters are listening to the music inside the scene. What makes it work so damn well is because Even knows this song and is deliberately making eye contact with Isak at the most apropos lyrics. You can’t tell me otherwise. It’s not just the soundtrack coincidentally happening to sync up and be lyrically relevant for the viewers, it’s the song syncing up within the scene itself, at the party - that would be loaded enough, but Even is also putting on a show for Isak here. There’s a reason he turns Sonja in place and looks at Isak exactly at the line “and now it’s gonna be me and you.” Yeah, I know I’m with her, Isak, and I know you’re with her, but I feel you looking at me, and I’m gonna look back.

I mean Even, Gabrielle’s #1 fan, knows how to communicate meaningfully via pop songs to the object of his affection.

Possibly my favorite part is right after that scorching eye contact, when you can see Isak has just been struck to the core by Even looking at him, and then he closes his eyes and goes back to kissing Emma. Because you know he’s imagining he’s kissing someone else.

I feel bad for Sonja and Emma here but at least they remained happily oblivious to the boys eye-fucking each other across the room while making out with them.

There’s not enough Eva in this season so let’s appreciate how gosh darn cute she is with her yellow hair bow.

Also Sana is so precious with her face paint and dimples!

How did Isak not burst into flames when Even looked across the room at him like that? The most smoldering look of the clip, for my money. That is the gaze of a man who knows what (who) he wants and is not shy to show it. Also note Isak quickly looking away and then “surreptitiously” back to Even a moment later, when Even has looked away and is deciding to play it more cool.

Emma touches Sonja’s teeth which is kind of weird, although Sonja does have very nice teeth! But I mean, even my close friends probably wouldn’t just touch my teeth for fun, let alone someone I just met. I assume this was something to do with the blacklight? Sonja’s teeth were very bright in the dark? Or else Emma is interested in amateur dentistry.

Lmao when Emma suggests Isak take a taxi with her, Sonja, and Even, you can imagine that is the absolute last scenario Isak would enjoy right now, Emma trying to get into his pants and Even mentally undressing him while Sonja is right there.

Here we goooooooo with another memorable Evak kitchen scene! Julie sure loves to have people flirt in kitchens, huh.

Guys, I got butterflies watching this scene. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen it, but part of me is still like are they going to kiss????

“Didn’t you take a taxi with the others?” “I have a bike.” Lmao I don’t believe that.

I can FEEL the tension coming off the screen. Like I can imagine everything Isak is feeling here. The nerves, the attraction, the pull toward Even. Trying to fight it, trying to maintain some detachment.

You can imagine Isak’s heart beating so fast. SHIT Even is right here, in his personal space, they’re alone together.

Even asks about Isak having a good time with Emma - funny because we all know, and he knows, that Isak just made out with Emma while staring at Even. It’s a joke, an inquiry that would seem harmless except for the massive irony. Also not a joke because Even really is kind of jealous and Isak plays off his comment. No matter if they’re aware of this thing between them, Isak is still making out with someone other than Even and it stings.

The acting here is so so SO good. Isak is like “why are you telling me about this” when Even starts talking about Sonja, he’s cautious, he’s trying not to give himself away. Meanwhile Even is trying to find a way to break through to Isak. He’s trying to communicate that he doesn’t want to be with her, but that it’s complicated. And when Isak is not having it, he switches to making an outlandish joke about it. Both of them communicate these shifts so well with their microexpressions, body language, tone of voice, etc.

There’s so much delicious subtext in this scene! This is one of Skam’s strengths - we know what’s going on in this scene, they don’t need to spell it out for us with lots of straighforward expository dialogue because the strength of the acting, the pacing, and the carefully chosen dialogue tells us everything we need to know. On a very instinctive level, we can tell when Isak becomes more on edge or when he lowers his guard; we can tell when Even decides he needs to try a new tactic in getting through to Isak.

Even and Sonja’s relationship is pretty complex even if we don’t get many glimpses at it up close and personal - you have to take a lot of it in bits and pieces, based on what Even says, what Sonja says, what Isak sees. I think they really needed to break up whether or not Isak was in the picture, but the thing is, I can completely understand why Even feels he can’t break up with her. She’s the one who stood by him through his episodes, throughout a terrible point of his life, and he probably feels like he owes her or that it’s wrong to leave her after all that. Adding to that, she’s one of the most stable factors in his life - after losing his friends, having to change schools, having to repeat his final year, dealing with manic/depressive episodes, etc. And because Sonja calls the shots, she’s someone he can rely on. He’s used to her taking control and telling him what’s real and not real. He’s got so much insecurity about his mental illness and he’s used to Sonja for support, so you can imagine how it’d be hard to cut himself off from her judgment. How is he supposed to stand on his own? She’s his aluminum leg.

Again, Even thinking quickly on his feet, spinning this ridiculous yarn about Sonja’s aluminum leg. He really gets into it! And this dumb story does melt the tension so beautifully, so kudos to Even for being a giant weirdo.

That is a damn fine delivery by Tarjei on Isak’s confused “What?” Precious.

As has been analyzed many times, Even’s story about Sonja’s aluminum leg is not really about his girlfriend’s fake prosthetic limb. He’s talking about himself and his bipolar disorder. She’s doing a lot better now (Even is doing a lot better after his manic/depressive episodes at Elvebakken and his suicide attempt). She’s gotten a lot of help from physiotherapists (Even has presumably been to some mental health specialists. Although it would be nice to know this for certain! Something I always wanted more of - info on Even’s mental health treatment plan.) You can hardly see she limps (Even seems like a swaggering confident young man and at first glance you would not be able to see his mental health struggles or vulnerabilities).

Notice how Even moves in subtly closer to Isak after Isak’s clued in on the joke, and that the camera zooms in a bit as well, making us feel the distance closing. I think even Isak notices and needs a second to adjust (after Even says he could’ve joked about something way worse, he kind of sputters out a reply, which could be disbelief or could also be him taking a second to re-calibrate with Even RIGHT THERE OMG).

This is how you do on-screen chemistry. Tarjei and Henrik are really feeding off each other, responding to each other’s movements and eye contact, making this conversation seem natural.

Regarding Even’s comment about Sonja having a dick and that this would be way too far to joke about - I definitely get why this comment would bother people. I think part of the joke is that Even is quite fine with dick and “going too far” is ironic when Even keeps joking about dick and balls, including making a blowjob joke within seconds of his first conversation with Isak. Their reactions make it clear that talking about dick is a lot more charged when there’s all this sexual tension floating around in the kitchen. But the comment is somewhat jarring and is worded in an unfortunate way that’s close to common transphobic arguments.

Isak not being able to look at Even at this point slays me. He tries it for a second but quickly looks back down. Even is too close, Isak is too attracted to him, this tension between them is too thick, Even’s girlfriend is too much of an obstacle and it’s too hard to think about how Even can’t break up with her, and all his plans for this week about how to get turned on by Emma, how to act straight, are unraveling so fast because this thing with Even is too real. It’s too much.

And when Isak says Sonja’s name it’s palpable how much this situation upsets him. Sonja is very sweet and cute. She’s Even’s very nice girlfriend who he can’t dump. No matter if they’re flirting and there’s all this tension, she’s the elephant in the room. It’s like it’s the fact that Isak is clearly struggling and not even able to look at him that makes Even decide to kiss him, because he knows what it means. Show him it’s not about Sonja anymore. My heart hurts at how resolutely Isak keeps his head down, even when Even moves in for the kiss.

Can I just say I love the sound effects in this scene? Or rather, lack thereof? I think you can hear the door unlocking at one point, for Noora, but otherwise the silence, just their breathing, every inch they move, all of that is so perfect. Like this is all being laid bare, it’s hard to hide anymore when it’s just the two of them and there are no distractions.

I adore Julie’s bit in the script about Isak looking down at the hole in the sock. ADORE IT. I can completely see it even if it’s not physically shown on screen. I know it’s mostly to get Tarjei into Isak’s mindset but damn that bit is so perfect.

Though this is the part in the season where I’m like, OK, Even should’ve broken up with Sonja. Even though I completely get why he doesn’t from a character perspective! The previous episodes contained this nebulous getting-to-know-you phase where I can accept Even still being with Sonja to a degree even if there is some emotional cheating going on, even if he’s deliberately trying to get close to Isak. But trying to kiss someone? That’s when you need to decide if you want to call it quits with your old partner or pursue this new person. Although again, I get why he wanted to be REALLY FUCKING CERTAIN before he broke up with her, considering it’s not easy to end this relationship and the last time he made a move on a boy, things did not end well.

Imagine being a Norwegian Skam fan and following S2 and being obsessed with Noora’s story which is this national phenomenon, and then S3 starts and Noora’s just gone, not only out of focus but gone, out of the damn country, and you miss her and want to see her again, and maybe you’re not really keen on this Isak kid but after a few episodes you’re warming up to him and his budding romance with Even is really cute and you hope they get together and then there’s this scene packed full of sexual tension and they’re about to finally kiss and it feels like ages even though it’s only been like three weeks and that is when some jackass interrupts this almost-kiss and you’re going to murder whoever did it and that is when you get your beloved Noora back. I mean. A+ trolling, Julie.

What did Even think of Noora, anyway, with that look he shoots Isak? Just a general “who is this and why is she preempting our makeouts” or is he wondering if she’s Isak’s ex or something?

I think so much about what happened right after this scene! How awkward was Even’s leaving? It seems from the next clip (at the start of episode 4) that they talked about hanging out the next day? I wonder if that was supposed to be a text message or something that didn’t make it into the social media updates. Did Even go home by himself, or did he go find Sonja and the others? I’m not sure if that’s clear from the texts. What would have happened if Noora came home like a minute later, after they’d kissed - would Even have broken up with Sonja immediately or

I used to wonder when Isak got Even’s phone number. For a while I thought he had Even listed as “Even Kosegruppa” in his phone because he got his number at the first kosegruppa meeting - that seems pretty early in their relationship, but it’s also the only period of time where he didn’t know Even’s full name, and it would have made sense to call him “Even Kosegruppa” seeing that’s the only context he knew him at that point. But it did seem strange to me that they would have exchanged numbers but Isak wouldn’t be shown freaking out over this, or Even wouldn’t have “casually” contacted Isak. So now I’m thinking they only exchanged numbers after this party scene, when they were tentatively making plans to hang out the next day. Tbh I could totally see Even putting himself as “Even Kosegruppa” in Isak’s phone to be funny. Because clearly this connection between them has escalated and there’s a joke in suggesting that Isak needs to be reminded how he knows Even - oh yeah, that guy from kosegruppa - when they both know it’s more than that. And Isak would of course never change it.

The song over the credits (”Lite og Stort” by No. 4) is about finding your way back home, which is literally Noora’s situation right now. I think the lyrics are specifically about “home” meaning Norway as a country? I’m going off the English translation, though, feel free to correct if I’m missing something.

Anyway this scene hooked me. I was blown away by their acting in the kitchen scene, I was floored by the level of chemistry. Despite not knowing anything that came before this scene, I needed to have these characters kiss! And I loved the pacing and the dialogue, how natural it all felt. I distinctly remember thinking. “Now this is the kind of television I like to watch.”

General Comments:

This week has one of my favorite uses of social media, the “If you don’t remember her name in the morning take her to Starbucks” picture. It went up after the clip with the dance chicks. Utterly perfect deployment, Isak posting that right when he’s concerned about seeming straight. All performative, all BS.

Isak lies to the guys about the party, claiming he’s going home to chill and do washing. Magnus even mentions that there’s a revue party happening but Isak fails to mention that he’s hosting it.

Emma messages Isak after she’s left the pre-drink asking him where he is and later drunk texts him telling him he’s great and wanting to go over and be with him at like 3 a.m. Isak, you dug that hole yourself.

Isak asks Emma how everything went after the neon pre-drink and Emma is like, “Sonja is so cool!” and immediately Isak is all “I have to go now.” Sonja’s awesomeness is not something he wants to hear about in detail.

I didn’t realize but there’s an IG post from Magnus on Friday showing Mahdi hooking up with a girl and Magnus calling himself a third wheel. I didn’t remember Mahdi ever hooking up on screen with anyone so I mean, I’m glad he got some during the show?

I own exactly one Funko Pop (Brienne of Tarth) and I know this would never happen outside of my dreams but I would kill for some Skam Funkos, particularly of the last clip of this episode, with Even’s white T-shirt and neon bandanna and Isak’s pink paint streaks and Illuminati shirt. Complete with Noora for that special cock-blocking authenticity.

This is a total tangent, but I’ve been looking up Baz Luhrmann stuff for these recaps and did you know that there’s a Moulin Rouge stage musical that literally just premiered? As in, yesterday, July 10? Starring Aaron Tveit as Christian? I have left my middle school Moulin Rouge obsession out of these recaps but I’m wondering how a live musical version is going to work. There’s a ton of it that would translate fine but then I feel like a Moulin Rouge without Baz Luhrmann giving you motion sickness with his wild-ass editing and cinematography is missing that special something.

#skam reactions #skam season 3 #skam #isak valtersen #evak

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