#i was originally going to use gaslighting but i wasn’t sure if it would be a correct use of the term

[stardusteyes]

Time Eats All in a nutshell

Pickman: I can excuse murder, but I draw the line at psychological torture!

Thurber, who is bleeding out on the basement floor due to having just been stabbed by Carter multiple times: ..You can excuse MURDER?!

[initialchains]

would you? | luke castellan.

pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader

summary: luke slowly starts to lose himself but that won’t stop you from reminding him of what truly matters.

wc: 2.6k

warnings: some manipulating and gaslighting if you squint and probably spoilers for the first book but they’re not explicitly mentioned.

a/n: HAPPY HOLIDAYS !! here’s luke as a gift <33 i’ve never written for luke before but he’s my favorite pjo character bc hes such an interesting and complex character aghh. sorry if this isnt as fluffy as you would all want, i promise i’m working on some real luke fluff.

The rays of the rising sun made the lake look far more beautiful than it always does. Sure, you were used to the warm tones that always engulfed Camp Half-Blood and it’s not like the weather ever really changed, at least not unless the gods willed it to, but the colors of the sun reflecting on the lake, the low hum of the wood nymphs singing, and the distant sounds of laughter coming from campers playing volleyball were strangely comforting. 

Well, as comforting as it can be when you’re trying to find some quiet in the neverending fight that was the demigod life. It gets tiring, it always does. The fighting, the studying, the adoration of gods who didn’t even bother to give their children a sign of them caring. It was all so exhausting. 

But there was peace in this small moment. You were sat in front of the lake, your legs crossed as you closed your eyes, trying to enjoy the tranquility of it all. The calm moment didn’t dare to stop your hand from finding a home in the clay beads of your camp necklace and twirling them around, a seemingly normal act to anyone who saw you, that actually was a sign of you being aware of your surroundings, a small sign of the fear you carried around, a fear that had you always prepared to draw your sword in any given moment. Not ever fully in peace. Not unless Luke was there. 

“So you decided to start your morning without me? Ouch,” You turned your head at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice, “A knock on my cabin’s door would’ve been enough, you know?”.

“Yeah? And risk waking the million campers that sleep in there? No, thank you. I would like to stay alive for a few more years, please.” You replied with a small smile, looking up to meet Luke’s eyes, his scar being more prominent in the morning, a red color adorning the edges of it.  

He snorted a laugh and rolled his eyes before taking a seat next to you. He was silent for a moment until he muttered softly, “This is a nice view.”

“Oh, definitely. The lake always looks beautiful when the sun hits it the right way. I need to give the Apollo cabin their congratulations and some flowers for having a talented father.” You answered, your hand moving away from your necklace to hold Luke’s.

“Of course, you make my pick-up line about the gods. Can you give me a win over here? I’m trying my best.” He said with a smirk before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. It was a strange sort of thing he always did, even before you two started dating, he’d always find an excuse to hold your hand and give it a quick kiss. 

“I wasn’t going to let you get away with using a corny pick-up line on me, Castellan. At least be original with it.” A giggle escaped your lips, “Also, everything is about the gods, I thought you’d be used to it by this point.”

His face fell for a fleeting second, but he was quick to mask it with a small smile. “Right, everything always is about the gods.” Luke’s eyes moved away from your face, nervously glancing at the lake after his statement. 

You frowned when you heard the tone he used, he sounded almost.. bitter? You couldn’t even explain it. Luke had been acting weird ever since the camp came back from their annual visit to Mount Olympus on the winter solstice. At first, you thought it had something to do with Hermes being a total dick and ignoring him the entire night, not even bothering to give his son a pat on the back or a nod. But you’ve known Luke long enough to know he was past caring about what his father did, he was indifferent to what Hermes did–to what any of the gods did. 

The two of you were silent, sitting side by side in front of the lake in deep thought. He was thinking about gods know what, and you were busy trying to understand what was going on inside his mind. You decided to break the silence first, “You okay?”.

“I’m fine, baby. Don’t worry about it.” 

He was quick to answer. It was almost as if he had rehearsed it and had it scripted beforehand. It was almost as if someone else had told him what to answer. As if he was under someone else's guidance. Under someone else's control. 

“Are you sure? Because it feels like you’re.. I don't know, keeping something from me?” 

“I’m not keeping anything from you. I’m not keeping a single thing.”

“Right. Sorry for asking.”

Luke closed his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. He ran a hand through his hair and took some deep breaths, his chest moving up and down in a nonexistent rhythm, it was urgent and angry. He took a few more breaths, trying to calm himself before finally meeting your eyes again. 

“I’ve told you countless times to never apologize to me if you haven’t done anything wrong,” He reminded you of the conversation you’ve had millions of times, “Don’t ever apologize to me if you haven’t physically hurt me or something, alright? You’re fine. We’re fine.” 

He continued, “I’d trust you with my life given the chance. I’m not keeping anything from you, angel. You have to trust me.” 

“I do.” 

You didn’t see your boyfriend at all the following days. He always brushed you off by being busy with training or helping Annabeth plan for this week’s capture the flag. You weren’t the only one to notice his slight change of temper and personality, some campers from the Hermes cabin noticed it too. 

He kept pushing harder on his siblings, always insisting on them doing better. He was more violent than usual during capture the flag, not thinking about it twice before proving why he is the most talented swordsman in the last 300 years.

There was also this one time he volunteered to spar with a new camper.. it didn’t go well. He kept doing new maneuvers and techniques most campers didn’t even recognize, refusing to go easy on the poor thirteen year old girl. When you asked him about it, confused at the way he went too hard on the newbie, he answered with a dry “Where’s the glory in that? She needs to be prepared for what’s about to come.” It sounded as if he knew some kind of danger was approaching. As if it was a matter of life and death for the camper to learn how to fight against him.

You decided it was enough when you saw him skipping his daily chat with Annabeth, deciding he would rather sit by himself on the steps of the Big House for a little while. 

The walk from your cabin to the Big House was filled with self-doubt and twirling the beads of your necklace, you were nervous to face your boyfriend, which was stupid because he was the last person you’d ever expect to feel nervous with. When you arrived to the steps of the Big House and saw him sitting there, your mind went completely blank. 

You sat next to him and asked the first thing that came to your mind, “Would you rather fight 3000 ant-sized chimeras or a chimera-sized ant?”. 

An amused laugh bubbled up from Luke’s chest before he turned his head to face you, a smile taking over his handsome face. “I’ll take the 3000 chimeras, no doubt.” 

You smiled back at him, ready to ask him the question you spent the last thirty minutes planning, but before you could open your mouth he said, “Would you rather not be able to consume ambrosia and nectar for the rest of your life or.. see Mr. D without a shirt?”

You threw your head back with laughter, your face going red thanks to the lack of air in your lungs due to the laughs coming out of you, “I’d rather bleed to death without ambrosia than see Mr. D with a shirt.”

“Ditto.”

You decided to indulge in this back-and-forth game, after all, you hadn’t been able to have a real conversation with your boyfriend in days... you’ll take what you can get, “Would you rather not be able to leave camp ever again or turn against the gods?” 

“It would be boring to spend the rest of my life capturing a flag and growing strawberries… so I guess my answer is pretty obvious.” He answered while fidgeting with his fingers.

“You’d choose to turn against the gods?”

“Yup.”

“Huh, I guess capture the flag would be pretty hard when you’re pushing 90.”

Luke was silent, running his eyes through your face before asking, “Would you?”

“Would I what?”

He took a deep breath before replying, “Turn against the gods.”

You were silent for a few seconds, biting your lip and staring into Luke’s eyes, wondering if there was a right answer to this metaphorical question. You decided to give him an answer he’d like but also an answer you meant, “I’d go wherever you go. It doesn’t matter if it is a farm in the middle of nowhere or to the pits of Tartarus. If you’re there... count me in.” 

Luke cleared his throat and a serious look took over his face, “Sure, but if the time to make a choice came… would you go against them?”.

His persistence to try and get you to answer his question was making you nervous. The more he asked you about it, the more it looked like he was genuinely considering it. 

A nervous laugh escaped your lips as you nervously played with one of the beads on your camp necklace. He took notice of it. Of course he did, he knew more about you than anyone, probably even more than you know yourself. 

Luke stayed silent at that, a somber look taking over his features, you could tell there was a turmoil happening inside his head. It was almost as if he wanted to let you in on a secret, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“I... um. Well, I don’t think that’s happening anytime soon—at least not in our lifetime. But like I said, I’d go wherever you go, to Tartarus and back.” 

That brought a smile to Luke’s face, he looked into your eyes, probably looking for signs of you lying but finding none, and took your hand away from your necklace, lacing your fingers with his and pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. “To Tartarus and back, baby.” 

He brought your hands down before leaning in to kiss you on the lips. There was a sense of necessity to feel your lips against his, he kissed you like the feeling of your lips was his only shot at salvation. He raised his hand to cup your cheek and deepen the kiss, craving the heat he only got whenever he kissed you.

You stopped him before he could take the kiss any further, “Luke, we’re in the middle of camp. There are children around us, if you want to make out at least take me to our spot behind the stables. Holy shit.”

Luke took a second to steady his breathing, “Sorry, angel. I’ll make sure to keep your suggestion in mind for later, though.”

“Shut the hell up, Castellan.”

The two of you spent the rest of your day being busy working on your own stuff. Luke was still sparring with some campers who were brave enough to go against him, and you were hanging out with the Dionysus cabin while they helped grow more strawberries. 

 You found Chris sitting in the amphitheater and asked him if he had seen your boyfriend, he replied with an annoyed, “He’s probably in bed or something, I don’t know.” You decided to not ask Chris if he was okay and walked straight to the Hermes cabin.

A knock on the wooden door was enough to wake your boyfriend up, you were aware of it when you heard a muffled, “Come in”. You found Luke sitting on his bed, his sword in hand while he sharpened it.

So he wasn’t asleep at all, you thought.

“Careful with the sharp part of the blade.” He looked up from his sword when he heard your melodic voice, your words snapping him out of the trance he was in.

“Oh, hi.” Luke put the sword down next to his bunk and moved to lie down, leaving a space next to him for you to join him. He hummed when you laid down next to him, giving a kiss to his shoulder blade and wrapping your arms around his torso. 

He turned to face you, pressing his lips to your forehead with a soft sigh. His eyes closed at the sensation while his hands traveled to your back, looking for ways to hold you closer. His features relaxing when he finally touched your skin. 

You couldn’t keep this weird tension going on between you two, so you decided to bite first, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Once again, he replied in an almost scripted and mechanical way, “Talk about what?”

“The winter solstice visit, you’ve been acting.. different ever since we came back to camp.” 

Luke stiffened next to you, it made your heart drop. You’ve been dating him for a year now, and he had never been this cold—this uncomfortable around you. 

“I just... I think things are about to change.” He replied in a low murmur, his eyes closing again when you brought your hand up to caress his face, softly tracing his scar with your thumb in a delicate and loving way. Luke let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding when he felt your fingers on his skin.

A smirk made its way to your face, “Change? yeah, in your dreams, Castellan. Campers will keep arriving and only 5 percent of them will get claimed, and the others will get thrown into your cabin.. like things always are and always will be. That’s not changing anytime soon.” 

Luke’s hand traced up and down your back in a soothing manner, “Yeah, maybe they won’t. Forget I even said that.” 

“Just because they won’t change, it doesn’t mean we have to accept it, you know?”Luke's eyes snapped up from your hands to meet your gaze, his brows furrowed in confusion. 

“I’m sorry?”

“We’re all on the same team here. Sure, the gods will never claim most of the campers and we will all probably die before we’re old enough to have children of our own... but is that really all that matters? We have each other. We don’t need them as long as we have the people we love with us.”

Luke tilted his head to the right to press a kiss to the palm of your hand that was caressing his cheek, “I don’t need the gods as long as I have you.” 

“Good to know we’re on the same page, Castellan.”

The two of you went out for a small walk by the lake and sat together in the dining pavilion at night. Your small conversation probably made Luke feel better because he was quick to go back to being himself, he kept greeting every camper he saw and holding your hand, not forgetting to kiss the back of it whenever he had the chance. 

Maybe it was you reassuring him about the love you had for him or maybe it was him being aware of you being willing to drop the gods at any time just to be with him, but he was completely normal during the following days, weeks, and months.

You were sure of it when you saw him walking around with the new arrival five months later, Luke seemed so excited to be showing him around. You greeted the new camper with a small smile when he introduced himself with a “Hi, I’m Percy Jackson.”

[remiratboi]

Lost Souls Campground - Ollidar

Masterlist

Yandere!MHalfOrcXFatAFAB!G/NReader ~ 11K Words

You met when you were children, and he never spoke. You were childhood best friends. Now, a decade after you last saw him, you've returned to the very campground you grew up seeing him at. You never imagined you'd find him there again.

CW: Monster fucking, noncon/dubcon, stalking, yandere, obsessive relationship, unhealthy relationship, body image issues, bondage, gaslighting, manipulation. Let me know if I missed something.

I re-edited it and changed a few things, and posted it all as one!

Every year, your family would vacation in the Moonlight Realm. The pocket universe that had been discovered around 100 years ago. ‘Moonlight Realm’ it was affectionately called because of the creatures who dwelled there. Monsters.

As well as monsters of all kinds, the Moonlight Realm boasted of beautiful scenery, cheap rates, and what humans originally deemed “exotic cultures”.

But the humans and the monsters had settled into a comfortable coexistence, and monsters were far from rare any longer. You grew up with creatures all around you. It was common and equal. The human race had come a long way.

The little cabin you always rented for the whole summer was small and cramped. You, 3 siblings, your parents, and an elderly dog made the 2 bedroom unit feel like a shoebox. From a very young age, you had learned all the best hiding spots and getaways in the park. When you were around 10 years old, you found that apparently someone else had found them too.

A young half orc named Ollidar, or Ollie.

You didn’t speak the same language, and the first time you met, it had been awkward and confusing. You had tried to tell him he was welcome, and that there was enough room for the both of you. He seemed to understand, as he ended up sitting across from you in the small natural clearing that sat just inside the forest.

You probed him with questions, you tried acting things out, you tried writing them down with a stick in the dirt. He didn’t respond. Sometimes it looked like he understood something but he never gave any reply. Just sat there, watching you. Sometimes he’d smile shyly.

The first summer it had been a lot to get used to. He started meeting you every day in the same spot. Sometimes he’d read, or listen to music on his AirPods, but mostly he watched you.

You wasted a few days trying to get him to respond, but since he never did, it slowly switched to you just talking to him. You told him… everything. You had to fill the silence. It would be too awkward if not.

You told him about your friends back home, your cat who you missed terribly and hoped was liking the pet sitter. About your favourite movies, books, foods. You told him about your fears, you weren’t sure why. You told him embarrassing stories. Sometimes you even worried he would think you were lame or weird and leave, but he never did. He just listened.

The summer came to an end and you did your best to tell him goodbye. That you hoped to see him again.

And you would. Every year. Every summer you spent two glorious months glued to each other’s sides. Your families became close through you.  He had a sister and two moms. Your parents got along, and all of your siblings as well.

No one understood why he never spoke. It wasn’t a language barrier anymore. After 7 summers together both families knew more than enough about the other’s language. Enough to communicate with little confusion. He seemed to understand everything. If you asked him to pass you something, he would. If you gave him something he didn’t want, he’d shake his head. But he never spoke.

You stopped going on family vacations when you turned 18. You had moved out, so had most of your siblings. Your parents decided it was time for your own family vacations.

The first summer that you weren’t going, hit you harder than you’d ever imagined. Your chest hurt.

The next year was better.

And the next.

Soon you were 28 and that little half orc was just a fond, albeit, bittersweet memory.

Until your parents decide to do a sort of reunion trip this year. All of your siblings, and their families, plus you and your parents, would be taking a summer vacation to Lost Souls Campground in the Moonlight Realm this year.

It had barely changed. Some machines had been upgraded, the cabins had clearly been renovated to function with modernity, but other wise it was beautiful, serene, and just like you remembered it.

“It’s you.” A strong deep voice full of awe whispered from behind you. You turned around and was met with a face indeed in awe. It took a moment but you realized this was the first time you’d ever heard his voice.

“Oh wow!” You exclaimed. Genuine joy spreading across your face. “You’re here?!” You cried and raced up to him. He didn’t even flinch as you threw yourself at him. His arms opened and he gathered you in a powerful embrace. There was a hint of desperation in the way he clung to your soft body.

You felt a pang of anxiety that had been previously overtaken by the shock of seeing him. You were not thin anymore. And while you loved your body, and felt sexy in it, not everyone else was as comfortable with fat bodies as you were. What if he didn’t want you like this?

Want me like this? What am I thinking?!

You tried to pull yourself away from the hug, but he held tight.

“It’s you…” he muttered into your hair. He was warm, and huge. The orc part of his genes must have been strong. He dwarfed you. It took a lot for someone to make you feel small. Some part of your brain short circuited when you finally registered he had been lifting you. You panicked slightly then, worried about being too heavy and pushed yourself from his chest. He reluctantly lowered you down.

You were blushing from feet to head as you smoothed out your clothes. “Sorry, I… I was just surprised to see you.” You stuttered out. You looked up at his face. He was beautiful. You could see hints of the boy you knew, but he had grown, developed thick muscles, his face thinned out and lengthened.

“You came back.” He replied. His gaze was hyper focused on you. It seemed nothing else registered to him any longer. You squirmed a bit under such overwhelming attention.

“Yeah, we stopped back then, when all of us had moved out. But we are doing a sort of reunion trip this summer!” You explained excitedly. You felt giddy. You didn’t even really understand why. You felt excitement at seeing him.

“Does your family still come here every year?” You asked and leaned around him to see if any of them were standing near by.

“No, just me.” He answered. For the first time since seeing you, his gaze dropped. His cheeks darkened.

“You must really love this ratty old place, huh?” You joked and nudged his arm with your elbow.

“I guess.” He replied, still avoiding eye contact. “So how long are you here for?” He asked.

“The whole summer!” You exclaimed, throwing your arms out wide as if that would show the physical manifestation of time. “I had about a decade of vacations days saved up, so I decided to take the whole summer. Everyone else is just here for a couple weeks.”

He nodded and glanced back up into your eyes. “So just you and your partner are here for the summer? Or do you have kids now?” He asked and dropped his gaze again.

You chuckled. Kind of a transparent attempt my guy. “No, no partner. No kids. Never found anyone willing to put up with me long enough.” You joked self deprecatingly. “You of all people know how much I can talk.” You grimaced at yourself.

“That was my favourite thing about you.��� He replied quietly. He seemed nervous. You blushed again. “The way you spoke was mesmerizing.” He continued before, it seemed, he could stop himself.

A manic sounding giggle escaped your lips. “Wow, marry me?” You joked. It was his turn to laugh like a crazy person.

“So, uh,” you continued “how long are you here for?”

“Whole summer.” He answered and smiled up at you. “How solo were you hoping to spend your time?” He ran his hand down the back of his neck and rested it on his shoulder.

You laughed and placed your hand on his arm.

The first few days with Ollie were a little awkward. Not in an uncomfortable way, but in that you didn’t know eachother anymore. It had been a decade since you had spent time together, and while he talked a little more than he used to, it was still few and far in between.

You couldn’t tell if he found it awkward though. He never mentioned it. He just followed you around. He seemed content to just exist nearby you.

The first two weeks breezed by in a flurry of family, kids, games, and way too much food. At the end of it, you waved them goodbye and excitedly hurried back to the little cabin. This would be the first time you’d had it all to yourself.

You pulled the door shut behind you and basked in the quiet for a moment. You could always hear other campers outside. Kids shrieking, vehicles moving, multiple different music sources all floating on top of eachother. And inside was a sort of haven from it all.

You made your way to the kitchen to grab a drink when you found a plate full of cookies, uncovered and still warm on the counter. You were surprised, you hadn’t noticed anyone baking before they’d left? Weird.

You inspected a cookie. Sniffed it, licked it. You didn’t immediately explode, so you shrugged your shoulders to yourself and took a bite. It was a very good cookie. You grabbed a couple more and threw them in a baggie. You gathered some other things, and changed into your bathing suit.

The beach was a short 5 or so minute walk from your cabin, and you munched away at your cookie the whole way. It was a bit overcast, so the beach wasn’t as crowded as it usually was.

You claimed a spot near another family, so that you felt comfortable leaving your stuff alone if you swam, and laid your towel out. You pulled your slinky bathing suit cover over your head and dropped it next to your things.

It was still a bit early in the day to go into the water so you opted for sunbathing with the hopes you’d get all warm and toasty then cool off in the water. Soon you were face down on a towel, your head on your arms, dozing away. You were interrupted by a prolonged blocking of sun rays.

You craned your head up and struggled to make out who it was looming over you with the suns rays blinding you from behind them. You glanced down at their feet next to you and recognized pale green skin.

“You liked the cookies?” Ollies deep voice asked. You were about to say yes, when you processed the implications of him being the one to hand deliver, into your kitchen, without asking, the surprise treat you’d found. You sat up and tugged his hand so he wasn’t standing in front of the sun anymore and you could actually see him.

“Uh, yeah they were good. But, that means you were in my cabin?” You asked incredulously.

“Oh, sorry, was that inappropriate?” He asked, genuine concern seeming to lace his tone. “Sorry, I sometimes…” he trailed off. He looked anxious again. You chose to let him work through what he wanted to say. Words were hard for him, and you wanted him to feel safe sharing them with you. Even if right now you were kind of peeved with him. “Sometimes I don’t understand what’s.. ok, or whatever.” He finished.

“Well, I appreciate your apology. No, going into someone else’s space without their consent, isn’t ok.” You softened. He wasn’t trying to cross a boundary. And he had apologized immediately. “How did you get in anyway?” You queried, already moving on from the emotions.

“I, uh, it was unlocked.” He stuttered out. Your eyebrows knit together. You could have sworn it was locked. But you shrugged past the confusion quickly. How else would he have gotten in?

“Weird. Well, anyway, I do like the cookies, they are delicious and very sweet of you.” You placed your hand on his lower calf where you could reach in a comforting way. “Just next time please knock.” You winked and giggled.

He nodded emphatically.

You and Ollie spent the day at the beach. You realized later that you never actually asked him to join you, but you weren’t displeased that he did. Even after only two weeks, you were pretty used to having him around you again. It was just like when you were kids.

Well, almost. You couldn’t help but notice some of his gazing wasn’t quite as… wholesome as it had been when you were kids. But it didn’t bother you. He wasn’t lewd about it at all, and if you were being honest with yourself, you kind of enjoyed it. Also, you had to admit, you had done some gazing yourself.

He was huge. He was muscled. He was gorgeous, and didn’t seem to be aware of it. He was exquisitely shy around everyone but you. And on top of all that, he seemed to notice only you.

You had watched countless others throw themselves at him, just to be rejected one way or another. More often than not, it seemed he just genuinely didn’t realize he was being hit on. Sometimes he’d be forced into straight up turning someone down, but mostly he’d just give them a puzzled look, and walk away.

Today was no different. You were reaching for the sunscreen when a volleyball sprayed sand all over you. You yelped and sand filled your mouth. A very pretty woman jogged over.

“O-M-G! I am so sorry about that!” She said in one of the fakest voices you’d ever heard. She said it to Ollie, not you, even though he hadn’t been hit with the spray at all. Normally you would have said something sassy, but you were too busy spitting sand from your mouth.

Ollie didn’t respond to her, but he leaned over to grab the volleyball from where it had landed between you.

“I’m Selina!” She said, all bubbly. “I’ve seen you around, you should play with us some time!”

Ollie looked up at her, volleyball still in his hands. He glanced at you. He turned back to her and thrust the ball towards her. He held it tightly in one single hand. You couldn’t help but notice how large his hand was.

“You should be more careful.” He replied, emotionless.

She took the ball and giggled anxiously. “Oh, yeah of course, we totally will.” She smiled awkwardly at you. “So, do you want to come play now?” She shot her shot.

“No.” Ollie replied.

“Aw, come on. We don’t bite.” She joked and wiggled her finger at him.

Ollie glared at her now. His face no longer impassive but furious. It surprised you. He didn’t normally express much emotion visibly.

“First you spray sand all over my partner,” he started.

Partner?!

“Then you apologize to me, not even the one you sprayed.” He continued, his tone developing an edge. The girl raised the hand not holding the ball in front of her and took a hesitant step back.

“THEN you hit on me in front of them, and don’t take no for an answer?” He shook his head at her, his soft black curls bouncing with the movement. “I am so, painfully, not interested.” He finished.

The woman blushed deeper red at each of his words, before spinning on her heel and practically running away.

“That was kind of rude.” You said quietly. You could feel his annoyance rolling off of him.

“Did I say anything untrue?” He asked you. His words were demanding, but his tone was soft. He was always soft with you. He glared in the direction she had ran. 

“Well, not really.” You answered speculatively. “Mostly. Partner?” You asked and turned to look at him.

“Ah, yeah, sorry. I guess that wasn’t true.” He replied. He glanced up at you from the side, but didn’t turn to face you.

“Why did you say it then?” Your voice sounded small, but you felt bold for vocalizing the question pounding in your head.

He turned to look at you for a moment. A fire blazed in his eyes. He didn’t say anything for a long time. He just stared into your eyes. You found you couldn’t look away.

Finally, “Sorry, I guess I wanted more reason to defend you. I felt… more angry than made sense.” He turned to look back down in front of him. You mulled his words for a moment. That made sense. What you still wondered about was the feelings that made him ‘more angry than made sense’.

You reached out and lay a hand on his shoulder. He tensed for a moment, but then quickly relaxed into your touch. “Thank you for defending me.” You said quietly. A smile played at his lips. He glanced back at you for just a second.

“Oh, also I think that was the most words I’ve ever heard you say all in a row about the same topic.” You teased him.

Your hand still lay on his shoulder. A part of you recognized the moment was over, and it made sense to remove your hand. But you didn’t. His skin was warm and you could feel his muscles tense and move with him.

You were surprised by a sudden, intense desire to touch him everywhere.

“I like your bathing suit by the way.” He mumbled. You almost didn’t catch it. Your cheeks burned and you stared at him for a second too long. 

You snapped out of it and finally pulled your hand from his shoulder. You found yourself fidgeting with the ties that hung down the side of your string bikini. To be honest, you hadn’t expected to see him here, and this suit was one you normally reserved solely for private sun bathing as it was pretty skimpy. You were suddenly very aware of the soft rolls on your sides. The way your thighs pressed together. 

“Oh, really?” Your laugh had a slight edge. “My mom told me it’s not… flattering on my body.” You didn’t know why you told him that. It was embarrassing. Not only had your mother insulted you, but she’d body shamed you. And now you were telling the absolute hunk of a man sitting next to you looking like an Adonis? “But I like it, still.” You finished lamely. 

You looked up then to see Ollie staring at you. The fire in his eyes had returned. The same fire he’d had when you asked him why he’d called you his partner. “It’s very flattering. Your mother is a lovely woman, but clearly blind.” He spoke with an almost comedic level of seriousness. You fought the instinct to brush off the compliment. You didn’t want to. You wanted to believe him. 

You tucked your hair behind your ear and smiled to yourself. “Thank you.” Your voice was soft. 

After that day on the beach, Ollie became significantly more protective of you. More possessive. He was always around you. He brought you coffee and breakfast, he fixed little things around the cabin for you, he planned activities for you both to do.

You wouldn’t have thought him a hardcore hobby guy, but he took you rock climbing, and snorkelling. He took you to a local pottery studio, he brought you to the library in town. He always had you doing something.

It was starting to drive you crazy.

You had wanted to relax?! Not that you didn’t enjoy the activities, and his company, but it never stopped. You were on vacation. You had planned to lie on the beach for two months straight, eating, drinking, and probably smoking a lot of weed. Now here you were, sober, and painting in the woods.

You felt guilty. This was a beautiful activity, and you were genuinely enjoying it. But it just hadn’t been what you planned for. You would have loved a few things here and there, but not every day, all day long.

You decided to tell him that evening. The painting class ended, and you were actually pretty pleased with your work. It was a life painting of the little waterfall and pond the class had been set up next to. You weren’t anything special, but you were proud of it nonetheless.

Ollie jumped into his old, open jeep and carefully placed both of your paintings behind his seat. He leaned across the bench seat to offer you his hand. He pulled you up onto the bench like you weighed nothing. It’s something he must have done 100 times by now, but every single time, you blushed like a fool. Your core heated at the casual way he handled you. 

“You’re not heavy, you know.” Ollie broke the silence as you headed back to the camp.

“… what?” You asked, confused.

“You always look so worried after I help you into the car.” He glanced at you then back to the road. “You’re not heavy.” He stated matter of factly

You blushed again. He had no idea.

“Oh, yeah, I guess I’m worried about that.” You lied lamely. You’d always been bad at lying. You chewed on your lip.

His brows furrowed slightly. “Ok, so if that’s not it,” His voice was smooth and deep. He didn’t speak much. Even now. He mostly used basic gestures to communicate. But sometimes, when you were alone, he’d talk. You loved it. More than you probably should have. A warmth spread from the centre of you and radiated out. “what is it then?” He continued, pulling you out of your own thoughts.

“Uh, what is what then?” You replied, hoping he’d drop it if you pretended not to understand.

“Why do you blush so hard every time you get in my vehicle?” He asked. There was no getting around that one.

You sighed to yourself. Do you tell him? What the hell, you thought to yourself. What does it matter if he thinks you’re a horny slut? He’s just some guy you’re going to see for another month and a half, then never again. Who cares… right?

“I… gods this is embarrassing,” you started. You saw his one eyebrow raise. “It’s… ok… it’s hot as fuck, ok?” You forced out. You could feel how warm your cheeks were. This was worse than you thought it would be. You cared more than you liked.

“… what’s hot?” He asked slowly. You died a little. Of COURSE he was going to make you spell it out.

“Omg Ollie, I just… I’m not… small alright? So having a very attractive man casually lift me like it’s nothing?” You stared out the open window, unable or unwilling to look at him. “That’s really hot.”

He nodded slowly beside you. You could see in your peripheral that his cheeks had also darkened.

“Is it hot because any man is lifting you, or because I’m lifting you?” He finally asked.

Jesus Christ

“You know,” you started, your voice an octave too high. “I REALLY haven’t given it much thought.”

It was silent in the car for a long time.

Finally you couldn’t take it anymore. “So…”

He didn’t look at you. His knuckles were white on the wheel.

“So what are we doing tonight?” You asked.

“Nothing.” He replied, too quickly. Your heart fell. Here it was. Just like always.

You were quiet the rest of the drive. He dropped you off at your cabin. Normally he’d jump out and open your door for you. Not tonight. Had you really read him that wrong?

You shut the door behind you and turned around to speak. Before you could, he shifted the gear and drove slowly away.

You spent the evening alternating between disappointed, embarrassed and annoyed. It surprised you how hard it was to keep your mind off of it. Normally rejection rolled off of you. You were pretty used to it, unfortunately. Dating while fat was… something else.

But this was different somehow. You cared this time. It hit you like a truck when you realized it. For the first time, in a very long time, you cared.

You hated it. You hated giving someone that power. Being vulnerable wasn’t something you did well.

You had spent your entire life being “too much”. You were too big, both in personality and body. You were too loud, you had too many emotions, and thoughts. You talked too much. And people were not scared to tell you. You couldn’t even count the times and ways people had defined you as “too much”. The blatant words, the subtle actions, the micro aggressions. That was your life.

But not him. He had told you his favourite thing about you was how much you talked. Which, honestly, felt fake, but it was hard not to believe his genuine eyes. He had done so many things to make you think he…

You instinctively shut down that train of thought. You shouldn’t get your hopes up. He’s made it clear you read things wrong.

The next day came slowly. It was raining. You rolled over in bed, not eager to start the day. You debated going back to sleep, when you heard dishes clinking.

You shot up, fear ripping through your chest. Had you imagined that? No. You heard it again.

A chill settled in your bones as you carefully, silently, crawled out of bed. You wore a skimpy tank top that barely covered you. It was low cut, you never wore a binder/bra, you didn’t need to, you had been blessed with only tiny handfuls for tits, and it rested under your waist showing your lower stomach. The booty shorts you wore didn’t make things any better. They were practically underwear. You debated trying to throw more clothes on, but knew the closet doors creaked.

The little cabin was small, but the bedrooms were on one side, and the kitchen on the complete opposite. You made your way towards it, picking up a badminton racket on the way. It had been discarded in the hallway after another one of your activities with Ollie.

You raised the racket above your shoulder and took a deep breath to steel yourself. This was it. You slowly stepped around the corner. Your mind filled with murderers and villains.

The tall, pale green half orc that was bent over the stove with his back to you was not what you were expecting. You practically sobbed with relief.

“Ollie?!” You demanded, your voice cracking and sounding a lot more desperate than you’d like. He turned slightly, but didn’t look away from whatever he was doing.

“Good morning!” He said cheerily. “Sorry if I woke you. I just wanted to make you breakfast to make up for yesterday.” He continued. You noticed now milk and eggs on the counter. The smell of food wafted towards you.

You didn’t say anything. Your brain was struggling to compute. You had like 7 questions. How had he got in? Why did he do this? Why did he think it was ok? But most importantly, what does he mean ‘make up for yesterday’?!

Just as you realized you’d been standing there, slackjawed, not answering, for far too long, he turned. As soon as he saw you, he froze. His cheeks went dark green and the flipper he was holding clattered to the ground. You were confused for about .02 whole seconds before you remembered you were almost naked.

“Uh, I’ll be right back.” You blurted out and raced back to your room. You threw the door shut and leaned against it. What the hell was he doing here? In your cabin! While you were asleep!

Your mind raced as you threw a loose tee over the tank, and a pair of thin sweats on. You made your way back to the kitchen.

“Ollie, I think we need to talk about boundaries-” you started. You stopped when you noticed the front door was open. You looked from the door to the kitchen. He was gone. A thin plume of smoke started on the stove. Something was burning.

A quick toss of the pan into the sink dealt with that. You turned off the burner and leaned on the counter in bafflement.

No, fuck that! He doesn’t get to just run away from this!

You ran after him.

You stormed down the little path, through the camp, and straight to Ollies cabin. You always thought his cabin looked less like a vacation home, and more like a regular home.

Three raps rung out as you knocked on the front door.

No answer.

You were like 90% sure he had gone home.

“Ollie, I know you’re in there. We need to talk.” You called. It was silent for a long moment. You almost began second guessing yourself.

“I… I can’t.” Came softly from inside.

Can’t?! CAN’T?!

“Like HELL you can’t!” You shouted through the door. You cringed slightly when you ended up being louder than you’d meant. A couple walking by stared at you. You raised your hand and smiled unconvincingly.

“Ollie,” you continued, a bit quieter. “You just broke into my cabin while I was sleeping. We are talking about this, right now.” You gritted your teeth. “Open. The. Door.” You left no room for discussion.

A long moment passed with no reply. You fidgeted. Just when you had started to consider squeezing your ass through a window, his voice came through the door.

“It’s open.” He answered.

Oh.

You turned the handle and pushed the door open. He sat, in the afternoon light filtering through the window, on his couch, head hung so you couldn’t see his face, with a large pillow gripped in front of him.

He looked sad. You hadn’t expected sad. You don’t know what you’d expected, but not sad. You steeled your resolve.

“Ok, this has gone too far.” You started. “You’re a great guy, but you don’t seem to understand boundaries, so I’m going to lay them out, clear as day, and if you cross them again, that’s going to be it, Ollie.” You finished and crossed your arms. He looked up through his curls. He looked like he was in agony. You instinctively took a step back, surprised by his intense reaction.

You shook your head, trying not to let those puppy dog eyes break you down. “How do you keep getting into my cabin?” You demanded. “And don’t give me some shit about it being unlocked. I know it was locked last night.”

He looked up, further. His eyes scanned your face. He seemed to be debating if he wanted to answer. You waited.

Finally “I… have a key.” He said, guilt lacing his words.

“A KEY?!” You practically shouted. “Where the hell did you get a key?!”

He groaned and leaned back on the couch. He ran his hand across his face. “I own it.”

Your mouth dropped open. “What does that mean?” You said slowly, dangerously.

“I, I bought the campground a few years ago.”

“You own the ENTIRE campground?!” You demanded. Your voice had started to enter dog whistle pitches.

He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. He buried his face in his hands. The large pillow was squished and stuck out at weird angles.

“You never came back.” He said quietly. The dam broke. “One day, you just never came back. 4 years went by and I did everything I could to find you. No one had information, no one knew how to contact you or your family. I kept coming back every year, desperate to see you again, to hear you again. But you were never here.”

He glanced up at you. You felt numb. His eyes were filled with sorrow.

“4 years after you last came they were going to shut it down. It hadn’t been doing as great and the owners were old. They told us it would be the last year. I had some money from my grandparents inheritance, and…” he shook his head at himself.

“I couldn’t let the only connection I had to you disappear. Even if you never came back, all those places we had spent time in, the feelings I had for you, here I got to live in them. I felt you everywhere. Every little memory.”

His cheeks were a deep dark green, but he seemed unable to stop the flow of words from his mouth for the first time in your entire lives.

“I made a lot of changes, put a ton of work in, and the campground is doing great now. This is my life here. I don’t run the day to day anymore, but I live here, I maintain it.”

He looked back down at the ground. “And you finally came back.”

You stood there, stunned. Long moments of uneasy silence passed between you.

“Ollie this…” you didn’t even know what to say. Panic started to rise in your throat. “This is too mu-” you heard yourself start to say it. The words you’d heard your entire life. Too much.

“I need to go.” You blurted out and turned to leave. A noise came from behind you.

Ollie grabbed your shoulder and turned you around to face him. He pushed you against the door, your back to it. He held you there with his hands against the door next to your head. His huge arms framed your face and he bent down to look at you. His face was so close.

“Please, don’t go, just listen, I-” he stuttered. Desperation filled his eyes. Frustration filled yours.

“No!” You shouted. “You don’t get to stop me. You don’t get anything!” You poked his chest, jabbing your finger accusingly. “You don’t get to reject me then tell me you’re obsessed with me!” You spat, the words cruel. You didn’t care. Your nerves were frayed. You didn’t know how to handle yourself after his confession. His obsession.

Confusion pulled his eyebrows together. “Reject you…?” He asked. You blushed. You hadn’t meant to bring that up. But apparently even now, your stupid little monkey brain could only think about that.

“Yesterday.” He still didn’t understand. “And today.” He grimaced but still seemed not to understand. You rolled your eyes and ran your hand through your hair. “You’re so dense sometimes.” You muttered.

“Yesterday, I told you… that I thought you were hot, and how turned on I was, ok? And then you just ran away.” You couldn’t look up at him not with his face so close. Not with his eyes boring into yours. Not with his lips just inches away. “And then today, you see me in skimpy clothes and run away again.” You couldn’t believe you were about to say it. “Like, I get if I’m not your type, but… I guess I just thought you felt differently ok?” You looked up into his eyes for one second before looking back down. The desperation hadn’t gone away, but it looked hungrier than before.

“This doesn’t even matter, I shouldn’t be talking about this right now.” You placed a hand on his chest and pushed softly. He didn’t move. “I need to process what you just told me, and I’m not thinking right.”

“I didn’t run away because I wasn’t into you.” He said. His voice was surprisingly hoarse. Gravel had filled his throat. You looked up in surprise. His cheeks had a new kind of heat to them. Hunger filled his eyes. But there was also fear. You could see how unsure he was.

“I ran away, both times, because I was about one second away from throwing you to the ground and fucking you.” Your breath caught. Your eyebrows pulled together slightly. You shouldn’t be so happy to hear that, you thought. He’s crazy. He’s obsessed with you. Like actually.

But he’d never hurt you.

A small voice in the back of your mind said.

“I love you.” He held your eyes. His gaze softened slightly. The hunger didn’t go though. Neither did the fear. “I always have. I could listen to you talk for the rest of my life. You’re funny, witty, gorgeous, and a bit of a dumbass.” He smirked. “I would do anything for you.” You believed him. “Just give me a chance to show you.”

He moved one hand from beside your head to rest it on your waist. He pulled himself into you. His hard chest pressed against yours, the solid door against your back. You couldn’t breathe.

You felt hot. You felt like you were standing on a knife’s blade. Fall into him, into this crazy, terrifying fantasy, or fall back into reality. What if you could make fantasy a reality? Did you even want that? Some rational part of you screamed. He had been in your home while you slept. He bought an entire huge business because he might get to see you again. He was obsessed with you. He was dangerous. How many times had he let himself in while you slept? What could he have done?

You felt yourself shaking your head before you’d decided to. You pushed your hand on his chest again. “Ollie, I need some space. I need to think.” You said.

“Please,” he begged. “Please just let me show you how well I can take care of you. I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted.” Some part of you wanted that to be true. Wanted him to be true. But could you handle the obsession? What if it went deeper, darker.

You shook your head again and he let out an exasperated groan. “You’re not giving me a chance.” He complained. And edge of mania had started to show in his voice and expressions. “I need to show you. If you just let me show you, then it will all be ok.” He spoke fast and low. You felt his fingers playing with the hem of your shirt, then the hem of the tank top underneath.

“Ollie-” you warned.

“No, no, just, you don’t understand.” He cut you off. He leaned down and kissed your neck. You froze. “I’ve been waiting years for you. You think now that I’ve finally got you back, I’m going to let you go?” Darkness seeped at the edges of your vision as fear took hold. “That moment a month ago changed my life, and I’ve spent every second since learning about you.”

His hand on your waist tucked under your tank, and he placed it against your ribs. His hand was huge. Almost comically so. And it rested just inches from your chest. No fabric separating you any longer. All he had to do was move up.

His other hand came down to hold the back of your neck. He pressed you even harder against the door. His breath was ragged as he kissed up and down your neck and shoulder in between words.

“I know what you like. I know how you like it. I’ve watched you.” A sob wracked through your chest at that. The first time you’d reacted outwardly since he started kissing you.

“You’re so lonely. I’ve heard you cry in your bed at night. I’ve heard you beg to be loved. That’s what I want to do, baby.” He pulled back and looked deep into your eyes. “Let me love you.”

“Let me love you.” Ollies plea rang through your head. He was so close. Too close.

“Let me make you feel good, love.” He said. He pushed his knee between your legs, parting them. You gasped and wiggled but he held you firm between his hand on your waist and his arm bracing the door by your head.

You didn’t know what to do. You could scream. Somehow that felt like the wrong thing to do. You knew you weren’t thinking straight. You could feel your cunt throb against his leg.

“I want to show you how well I know you.” He nuzzled into your neck, nipping at your soft flesh. You couldn’t help the half sob, half moan that ripped from your chest. “I want to show you how well I can take care of you.” He pleaded with you. He raised his knee and ground into your clit through your clothes. You moaned and tried pushing him away. He didn’t budge.

“Please, Ollie, don’t-” you tried to beg him to let you go. Just as you started talking he reached up under your shirts and rolled his thumb over your nipple. You choked on your words.

“I’ve wanted to touch you for so long.” He whispered into your neck. “But I thought you’d never look at me that way. Until yesterday.” He squeezed the nipple he was rolling. Your back arched instinctively and you pushed yourself into his body. He groaned.

“Everything about you is so expressive.” He practically growled. The words flowed like they’d never been stopped up before. “I used to imagine you were singing. The melody of your voice. I would play beautiful instruments in my mind worthy of keeping up with you.”

He ran his lips up your neck to your jawline. You felt him tremble slightly. He didn’t kiss you there. He just lingered. “I wished a thousand times I could talk to you. That I could open my mouth and words even half as clever as yours could fall out.”

He pulled back and looked you in the eyes. You were still pressed against him, your pussy was resting, and throbbing on his leg. His thumb rolled your nipple slowly while he spoke.

“But you didn’t force me to talk. You were ok to let me be silent. I never got to thank you for that.” You saw a pain flash through his eyes. He didn’t break eye contact and you found yourself unable to. You were surprised when your own heart throbbed at his pain. “You were… are the only person in my entire life to accept me as I am, no expectations.”

He kissed you. It was soft, warm, but just like everything else, desperate. You didn’t move for a moment. You didn’t know what to do. He kissed you harder, and you felt his anxiety rise. The panic that you weren’t going to kiss him back. You felt how badly he wanted you to kiss him back.

And then you realized, you wanted to. You wanted to kiss him. Not like this, but you did. Some where along the lines, you’d developed feelings for this huge, stupid hot, and completely crazy man. You knew it was dangerous. The fear chilled you. But the desire warmed you right back up.

Suddenly you were kissing him back. Your hands were in his hair, on his neck, his shoulders. He leaned in even further, crushing you against his chest. His other hand came down to your neck and gripped you tightly. The hand on your chest explored further, touching all of you. Just as quickly as it started, it became overwhelming.

“Ollie, stop, not like this.” You said in between kisses. You tried pushing him back again. He growled again, but this time it was frustrated, feral.

“Stop pushing me away.” His words were heavy with warning. “You want this, me. I know you do. Just let me show you how good i can be. How i can make you feel.” He spun you around faster than you could react. He pressed you against the door, his hard cock pressing into your lower back. He twisted one of your arms behind your back and held you there. “I don’t want to hurt you, but you wont give me a chance.” His other hand snaked back under your shirt and pinched your nippled, hard. You gasped. “I know you’ll love it, eventually.”

Tears started to spill from your eyes silently. You didn’t fight back. You knew there was no point. He was so much bigger and stronger than you. It was more than just that though. For some reason you couldn’t bring yourself to. If he was telling the truth, he knew exactly what kind of things you liked. You knew how wet your pussy was already. Being taken against your will was probably your number one fantasy.

BUT IT IS JUST A FANTASY

You shouted inside your mind. You should be screaming. Fighting, kicking, anything! And yet, as he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, all you could do was think about how hot that was. He threw you around like you weighed nothing. And he wanted you, so badly. You had never been desired like this before. Not to these extremes.

He threw you down on his huge, orc sized bed. It was reinforced with a thick wood frame. You instinctively curled into the fetal position. The tears hadn’t stopped, even if you didn’t really feel that sad. You were in a strange state of disconnection. On one hand you logically understood how wrong this all was. How dangerous this was. What he was about to do to you. But emotionally, you couldn’t care less. You were dripping wet, and the way he felt about you gave you butterflies. The way he talked about you and his feelings for you, made you feel valuable. It wasn’t something you had experienced much in your life. What he had said about you being the only one to accept him, rang in your mind. Was he that for you? Could you accept what he was about to do to you because he was the only person you had never been too much for?

You could give him permission, you thought. Then at least it wouldn’t be r*pe. But a part of you knew no matter what happened, it still would be. And another, quieter, more insidious part knew you’d rather it be forced. To finally fulfill that deepest darkest fantasy.

Ollie stood over your curled body on his bed. “You’re so beautiful.” He muttered. He didn’t seem to be speaking to you, but about you. It made you blush regardless. What was wrong with you? He bent down and tried to pry your limbs apart. You held to yourself tightly.

“Don’t make me hurt you. I don’t want to, but you need to listen to me.” The warning had returned to his words. You didn’t relax your position, but when he tried again to move your body, you allowed it this time. “Good pet.” He purred, satisfaction lacing his voice. Your cunt throbbed at his words. He slowly raised you up to a sitting position.

“Take off your shirt, love.” He said softly, but with intent. You found yourself staring into his eyes while you crossed your arms across your chest to reach for the hem on either side. You paused. He nodded once, and you slowly pulled both shirts up and over your head. His breath caught as your chest was revealed. You were surprised to find he hadn’t stoped looking into your eyes, and after the shirt was past your face, your gazes caught again. You blushed and squirmed under his intense eye contact. Instinctively, you lifted your arms to cover your chest. He raised one eyebrow in a disapproving way and you froze. He reached out and gripped both of your forearms.

“If you can’t keep your arms down, I’m going to have to restrain them. This is your only warning.” You lowered them and he smiled. Your heart thudded in your chest, his approval suddenly the most important thing. Where had that shy boy gone? Where did this confident, dominant man taken over? He moved forward, kneeling with one knee in between your legs. He pushed you gently until you were lying on your back on the bed.

Ollie lifted one of your legs, and started tugging at the hem of your sweats. it suddenly became too much again and you bolted back up. Your hands gripped his on the cuff of your pants. “Wait,” you panicked.

Ollie sighed. “I warned you.” You didn’t understand for a moment, until he reached by the beds headboard and pulled an already attached silk tie out. One end was tied to the frame. An alarm went off in your head that you silenced immediately upon realising he’d prepared for some eventuality of tying you up. He quickly grabbed your right hand and started tying it tightly to the headboard. Now the panic really set in. It was too real. You started crying in earnest, blabbering and begging. You weren’t coherent. Even you didn’t know what you were saying.

It was too late.

With one hand tied, he snatched the other and repeated. You pulled and wiggled, but he clearly knew what he was doing. The ties were soft, and not tight enough to hurt, but the knots themselves were solid. He returned to slowly removing your pants.

“Please Ollie, it’s not too late, you can stop still.” You pleaded. You honestly didn’t know if you meant it or not.

“Baby, you know I can’t stop.” He replied in a patronizing voice. “I need you, don’t you understand that?” He pulled the sweatpants fully off, and you were left in only your little shorts that were basically underwear. The cold air answered the reality you had been dreading. You were soaked. Your shorts definitely had a wet spot. And if you somehow hadn’t been sure already, the look of pure, animalistic satisfaction that spread over Ollies face, solidified it.

“I knew you’d like it.” He said smugly. “I told you, i know what you like.” He leaned forward, knee in between your legs again. He brought his face next you yours and whispered in your ear. ‘I know you’re a desperate slut, just begging to be fucked into oblivion.” He placed his huge palm against your clothed cunt. The heat was tangible. “Luckily for you, I’m happy to oblige.” He teased. His voice cavalier and excited. It was like he couldn’t understand how far past ok he had gone. He raised his hand from your cunt and brought it back down in a swift, hard smack. You cried out, not able to stifle yourself. It devolved into a long drawn out moan. “You can’t lie to me, beautiful.”

He turned and kissed you, hard, frantically. His hands roamed over your body. He ground his knee up into your clit again. Your breath hitched as you tried desperately not to moan again. He pulled himself away and looked down at your still clothed pussy. He looked mesmerized.

Ollie slowly hooked his fingers in the waistband and tugged down. You pushed your ass into the bed, trying to keep the shorts from pulling down. He glanced up at you, a look of impatience on his face. “Lift.” He demanded. You relented. The shorts peeled from your skin, highlighting just how wet you were. You squirmed in embarrassment both from the exposure and the fact you were dripping. He folded the shorts and tucked them into his pants pocket. You didn’t miss that he had tossed all of your other clothes.

He leaned forward, hand reaching for you, but you started wiggling violently, trying to close your legs. “Wait, wait, Ollie, no you need-” He stopped and smacked your inner thigh, hard. You cried out, the tears redoubling. You pulled at your restraints and tried to push your legs from their positions on either side of him. He held them down.

“Do you need me to tie your legs up too?” He said condescendingly. You cried, not answering. “Hmm? And maybe a gag too?” He started leaning back, reaching for something behind him.

“No no no no, Ollie, that’s not what i mean, stop, just listen to me a second.” You begged. You sighed with relief when he paused and looked back at you.

“It’s just...” You started, then suddenly felt shy. He waited. “It’s just, you can’t touch me… yet.” He cocked his head, clearly perplexed. You wished you could hide your face. “You can’t.. I can’t…” He held your eyes, not giving you an out. “I can’t be the only one naked.” You spat out finally.

You don’t think you could ever describe the look that crossed his face then. You understood you were basically giving him permission now. And you were no longer fighting it in any way but for show. He had you, and he knew it. Thankfully, he didn’t rub it in your face.

Ollie leaned back up, until he was resting on his own legs, bent and still in between your open thighs. He smirked as he pulled his shirt up and over his head. You’d see him shirtless many times. It was a campground with a beach after all. But this time, with the settings, the circumstances, it was much more intense. The daylight filtered in through a window, and no other lights were on. Thin curtains stopped anyone from seeing inside, but did little for the light. He was muscular and toned, the light rays almost illuminating him. He was beautiful, and not overly ripped, but clearly did a lot of physical work.

The green of his skin was slightly paler than on his arms, but was replaced with a surprising amount of freckles. You hadn’t really noticed them before, but now that he was so close and you were hyper aware of everything, you saw how his skin was covered with tiny, barely visible freckles.

He started undoing the buttons on his pants. His cock was visibly hard through them. Your breath caught. You squirmed at the idea of being utterly taken by him. He hooked his thumbs under the hem of both his pants and boxers. He leaned up as if to pull them down, but stopped and raised and eyebrow.

“What do you want?” He asked, his voice leaving no room for defiance.

“Wh… what?” You asked.

“What do you want?” He asked again, enunciating each word.

“I…” you couldn’t believe he was making you say it. “I want you to take off your clothes.” You said, finally. “Please.”

He sighed hearing that, and continued pulling them down. His hard dick sprang out and it was huge just like everything else about him. You were halfway between excited and terrified. You didn’t think it would fit.

“Don’t worry love” he said, reading your expression. “We will get you nice and ready first.” He leaned over your body, his chest pressing onto yours. His dick rested against your thigh. He leaned in to your ear and whispered “and I’m not going to fuck you until you ask me to.”

He sunk two fingers deep into your cunt with no warning.

You cried out and arched your back. His fingers alone were probably thicker than any cock you’d taken. His eyes were glued on your face. 

“I love you so much. I’ve been in love with you my entire life. I tried dating other people, I tried letting them in, but I couldn’t. I always compared them to you.” He spoke softly as he fucked his fingers in and out of your dripping cunt. 

“I never felt safe enough to open up, and then there you were. Finally back. At first I was scared you wouldn’t recognize me. But you did. Then I was scared you wouldn’t like me, but you did. It was just like we were kids again. I almost kissed you that day.” You tried focusing on his words while he lazily thrusted into you. He was clearly not trying to make you cum. Just rile you up. You squirmed under his touch and words. It felt strange and alien to have someone want you so much. 

“I spent years telling myself if I ever saw you again, I’d talk. I’d tell you everything. About myself, about my feelings. But then I saw you, and I was a kid again. A dumb kid with a crush and no ability to do anything about it.” He kissed your neck and chest while he spoke. You felt worshipped. “It didn’t make it any easier that you’re just ridiculously attractive.” You gripped the ties holding your wrists. The fear was bleeding out of you with every word. 

His tone shifted. “I know I fucked up, I know I’m not… not a good person, I’m so sorry.” He sounded genuine. A pain you didn’t expect, while he was fingering you no less, laced his tone. You believed him, despite his apparent unwillingness to stop. 

“Ollie,” you said breathlessly. He paused his kissing and looked up at you. “We,” you moaned between your words. “We can talk about that shit later, ok?” You found yourself smiling at his dumb face. 

It was that moment you realised you might be just as crazy as he was. You wanted him to fuck you. It didn’t matter to you that a few moments ago you were crying and begging him to stop. You wanted him. You were pretty sure it wasn’t just because you were desperately writhing on his fingers. Pretty sure. 

He smiled back and slowed his movements until he stopped altogether. He didn’t say anything and just looked down at you, smiling like a fool. You whimpered and ground yourself against his fingers. He groaned in response. 

“I can’t believe you thought I wasn’t into you.” He teased. 

“I can’t believe a lot of things, ok? I’m a self conscious idiot, and you might be a crazy stalker, I haven’t decided yet.” He chuckled and thrusted his fingers deep into you, once. You moaned loudly. 

“Please.” You said, almost by accident. A dark, hungry look covered his face. 

“Please what, beautiful?” His voice had lost all joviality. He was dead serious now. The words he’d been waiting his entire life for, were so close. 

You squirmed on his fingers. He stayed still, staring into your eyes. “Ollie…” you trailed off. You looked away from him. You knew he was going to make you say it, but you really didn’t want him to. You felt embarrassed begging for him. 

“Please say it.” He asked quietly. You were surprised by the sudden vulnerability in his voice. Your eyes dragged back to his and you could easily see the precipice he sat on. A similar one you teetered on earlier. One simple sentence and you both could have everything. Fall into the reality of what he’d done, into the messy, scary world of pushing everything good away to hold a place for the bad he’d done and the way he’d hurt you. And he had hurt you. Or, you could both plunge into the fantasy, the dream, the feelings you’d longed for your whole lives. To belong. To be loved. To be accepted as you were. 

You took a steadying breath. You could see he was trying to not react yet, but the fear and worry in his brow was unmistakable. “Ollie, what you did wasn’t ok. And how you handled this wasn’t right. I honestly don’t know how to forgive you.” 

His face fell. He didn’t look upset with you. 

“But,” his breath caught as you continued. “I’d like to try.” You smiled softly at him. Your heart throbbed as he hesitantly smiled back at you. 

“Please, for the love of gods, please fuck me.” You spoke with conviction. 

He didn’t waste time. In seconds his huge fingers were replaced with his huge cock. He teased your entrance, coating his dick in your wetness. He leaned forward and kissed you deeply. It wasn’t desperate any longer. It was passionate and hungry and eager. 

He slid the tip of his cock into you and you groaned at the stretch. “Fuck you’re tight.” He practically breathed into your ear. 

“You’re so big.” You whined out. 

“I know you can take me, baby.” He peppered your face with kisses while he pushed further. His breath hitched as he claimed another inch. He was moving painstakingly slow. You knew he was doing it for you, to not hurt you any further, but he was also driving you crazy. Every bit he sunk into you, you were desperate for more. You wanted to be absolutely filled but him, to be taken and owned. You wanted his powerful body ramming into yours. 

You squirmed and tried pushing back against his cock. Ollie raised an eyebrow. “Please…” you trailed off. 

“Are you ready?” He asked, incredulous. You nodded and chewed on your lip. You gazed up at him above you. His eyes were heavy lidded and his face was flushed. He was so beautiful. He smiled down at you and gently cupped your cheek. 

And then he was inside you. He thrust the rest of the way, in one, hard push. You screamed, fear at being heard forgotten. He chuckled and covered your mouth with his hand. It dwarfed your face. He held your jaw while he pulled out and sunk back in. 

He set a brutal pace, pounding into you. The extreme stretch started feeling more comfortable and your screams turned to moans behind his hand. Ollie pressed his fingers against your lips and you opened your mouth. Two thick fingers played with your tongue. He worked them deep to the back of your throat. He held them there, slightly gagging you on them. He smirked. 

“Say it again.” His tone teasing but his eyes serious. 

“Say wha-at” you sputtered out between thrusts and his fingers. His smirk twisted the other way and he frowned slightly. His pace slowed and after a couple more thrusts, he stopped moving. He pulled his fingers from your mouth. “Why…” you panted. 

“Ask me to fuck you.” His eyes lit up at the prospect. 

“You just were, why did you stop?” You complained and ground your hips into his. He snapped his hands tight to your waist and held you in place. “Ollie…” you whined. You gave him the best doe eyes you could. 

“I told you what I want.” His voice was stern but you could read his amusement. He liked seeing you desperate for him. 

“Why do you keep making me say embarrassing things?!” You demanded. You tried moving on his still deep cock once more and his grip tightened to a painful extent. You’d have bruises for sure. 

“Keep saying them.” He leaned forward to suck on your neck. You gasped as he worked a dark hickey into your skin. You whined without words, desperately trying to instigate his movement again. He held you tight, moving down your neck to your chest, leaving a line of deepening bruises in his wake. 

You realised he wasn’t going to let you out of saying it before you finally actually started talking. You tried putting it off as long as possible but he wasn’t wrong when he said he knew how to make you feel good. You were getting past desperate and moving to unashamed and wanton. 

Finally, “Please Ollie, please fuck me.” He grinned against your skin. You didn’t stop. A string of only semi coherent pleas spilled from your lips. “I want to feel you cum in me, I want to feel you wreck me.” Some part of you still held onto that embarrassment, but mostly you didn’t care anymore. And Ollie loved it. The most beautiful sounds in the worlds were of you begging for him. 

He snapped his hips back into motion and your pleas shifted to half moaned words and expletives. You had been brought close and denied, your pleasure slowly building but never releasing, and whether he meant to or not, he had you at the brink in moments. 

Your orgasm ripped through you with almost no warning. You cried out his name and gripped his back, nails digging in like claws. Your passion threw him over the edge as well and he trapped your lips in a rough kiss as you felt his hot cum flood your insides. You felt more full than you even thought possible. 

You rode out your orgasms locked tightly together, his hips stuttering as the last few ropes filled your already full cunt. Everything that had happened, the emotions, the hormones, wiped your mind right out, and before he had even pulled out, you were dozing in Ollie's arms underneath him. 

**********

You woke, apparently hours later, since no light came through the windows. The room was dim, but the door was open and light spilled through from somewhere else. You were wrapped in Ollies massive bed, several blankets layered on and around you, pillows framing your body. It was like a cozy nest and you snuggled in deeper. 

The smell of food wafted in from the rest of the home and you thought you heard low humming. You couldn’t help grinning to yourself. You had a hot, huge half orc making you food after railing you? Yeah, you could get used to that. 

You heard soft steps coming towards the room and you squeezed your eyes shut, hoping to stay in this moment for a little bit longer. You heard Ollie pause at the door. He stood there for a few moments, not saying anything. Did he know you were awake?

You opened one eye just the barest amount, just so you could see. You hoped it wasn’t obvious. You told yourself it was dark in the room. You could see Ollie’s form, arms crossed over his broad chest. He leaned against the doorframe, face split with a wide smile. You still couldn’t tell if he knew you were awake. 

He stood like that for longer than you’d expected. Long enough that your pretend sleeping became real. You drifted in and out, hovering right between awake and asleep. 

You surfaced as you felt Ollie’s lips gently press into your forehead. You nuzzled against his face, and his breath caught. Ollie’s fingers danced along your jaw as you slipped back under. 

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

Friends to Lovers is for the Fairytales

Word Count - roughly 4500

Author's note: thanks for reading as always, I am finally going through and fixing the grammar errors that I am sure is in here. Originally this was suppose to be just a simple one-shot. But people were asking asking so I made it into a mini series.

Possible Triggers - friends with benefits established, use of Y/N, LOTS of arguing, light gaslighting

Summary: When you met Jack and everything just clicked for the first time in your life. You thought that meant that you would finally get your happy ever after but maybe that isn't the case.

First Chapter Chapter 2

If you looked back on your life for the past 6 months and asked to describe it in one word. Your counter argument would be to ask them “What is the word that describes the best time and the worst times of your life wrapped up in one?” Would this be the definition of a silver lining? No, it would be the opposite because at least a silver lining would get you a happy ending. This, you currently standing in the pouring rain, ruined makeup from not only the rain but your tears, struggling to breath while you looked at the man who you thought was the center of the universe. Only to discover he was the villain of your origin story. This could only be described in one word and that is pain. 

If you could go back in time and listen to your friend when she told you that friends to lovers was for romance novels and not real life. Instead of laughing her off, telling her you were an exception to the rule you would have listened to, because she was in fact correct when she said “ loving and being loved by Jack Hughes is a fairytale not a reality.”

You first met Jack a year ago when you were forced by your best friend to go to one of New Jersey Devils home games. At the time she was talking to someone who was into hockey. Her brilliant idea to invite him to a game to get a date and ended about as well as it did for Rachel on Friends. The only difference was she got stuck with the tickets and decided to “fuck off men and make the game a girls night.” Anna actually ended up getting you pretty good tickets right behind the net. The thing was neither you nor Anna knew much about hockey and saw it as a night to get drunk off expensive drinks in the stadium and watch men fight each other kind of night. Since you were in the second row it was easy for Jack to spot you. He smiled at you and you were tipsy, you may or may not have slid into his DMs that night. Surprisingly to you the next morning, you woke up to a response from him and that’s how you started becoming friends. 

Although for Jack and you the line between friend and talking was one and the same for you both. In fact Luke asked Jack on multiple occasions if he wasn’t sure you guys were dating. Every-time Jack denied it, even when Luke mentioned that he has lost count in the amount of times he’s come home and seen you both cuddled asleep on the coach. Or the fact that when you go out with the team, Jack is attached to your hip giving death glares to any guy who even glances your way even if it’s one of his teammates, especially if it’s one of his teammates. The lines were blurred on both ends both telling everyone you didn’t see each other that way and them joking back asking when the wedding was. Neither of you seemed to really care what others thought and just kept living in your little bubble until the bubble burst. Now at the time 6 months ago, when you and Jack shared that drunken kiss and ended up hooking up in the back of his car. You felt on top of the world. Finally everything was falling into place, you were going to get your happily ever after ending. No you never had the “boyfriend/girlfriend talk” and you still didn’t use titles. But you knew you were his and he was yours. To you that’s all that mattered in the end. 

Little did you know your perfect bubble you created would come crashing down on a random Tuesday night. It started with having one of the shittest days you’ve had in a while, everything that could possibly go wrong did. Your alarm never went off because you forgot to set it the night before. So you woke up when you were supposed to head out the door. Which turned into you rushing around your apartment, trying to hurry to get ready so you weren’t extremely late to work. Of course as you were getting your car, your coffee spilled everything all over your white shirt and middle console of your car. Then you get to work 10 minutes late and have to hear about it all day from your boss. On top of the fact that you also happened to forget your lunch due to rushing around this morning. It just truly was a day from hell and by the time you got back home, you were in tears feeling extremely overwhelmed. All you wanted to do was shower and possibly order food because the idea of cooking made your stomach churn. 

You had finally gotten out of the shower and already started to feel better once you were dressed in some sweats. You were walking into your living room with the idea of just sitting on the coach, scrolling through Doordash to decide what to order when you heard a knock on the door. You didn’t even have to open the door to know that it was Jack. You remembered there was his teammate Nico's girlfriend’s little sister’s birthday tonight, which you had no plans of attending. One because you had only met the new girlfriend once and you could barely remember her name Sasha maybe? And two because it’s a fucking Tuesday and you had work the next day. That was before you had a day from hell and had no social battery left.

But Jack was persistent in trying to get you to say yes, which usually worked simply by showing his face at your apartment. Reductively you went to the door to answer partly just to get him to stop his persistent knocking. As you answered the door, you asked “Jack what are you doing here? Don’t you have a party to get ready for?” You started to make your way back to the living room knowing that Jack would follow you and close the door behind him. 

“Listen I know originally you didn’t wanna go tonight but I was thinking it might be just the thing you need to get your mind of work.” He said with a giant grin on his face as if this is the best idea he’s had all month.

“Jack I had an actual day from hell, I haven’t even answered Anna’s texts yet from earlier today. I have yet to eat anything, like all day. I was late to work today and had to hear about it all day. My social battery is literally in the negatives right now. The LAST thing I want to do is go to a random bar to celebrate some girl’s birthday that I’ve never even met.” You say as a sigh leaves your mouth as you plop yourself on the coach. 

“Okay first I’m sorry you had a bad day baby. But this isn’t a random girl you’ve never met before. You met Stacey’s sister before you knew Emerson before. You know the girl that Luke is talking to? Plus it’s her 21st. That's like the biggest birthday.” He says as makes his way into your kitchen to grab himself a glass of water. Gesturing to see if you want one too but you shake your head no. 

“Okay well I didn’t know it was the same girl but still I don’t wanna go Jackey.” As you start to lay down on the coach and whine, similar to a toddler having a tantrum. “I’m really really tired and if it’s her 21st that means everyone is gonna get trashed and I have work tomorrow early. The last thing I wanna do is go in hungover as fuck. Plus I haven’t eaten anything all day and I’m hungry. You of all people, know I’ll get trashed sooner than everyone else due to not eating. And I hate being the drunk girl at those types of things.” You say as your eyes follow Jack back to the living room as he sits the glass of water on the coffee table. 

Jack slowly beds down to eye level and slowly combs the strand pieces of hair out of your face. It took everything in you to ignore the flutters your stomach was making and not lean into his touch. Jack took his other hand that wasn’t on your cheek and rubbed it down your side landing on your hip pushing you closer to him. He looked down at you with those big puppy dog eyes as he was resting on the balls of his feet. “Please Y/N It literally won’t be the same without you, who’s gonna help me bully Luke when he scores out with Emerson. Or who’s gonna listen to Nico’s drunken stories in GERMAN I might add which you don’t even understand without yelling at him that you don’t care. Please Y/N I need you.”

It took all the strength you have to say “Jack you don’t need me, you want me to go because you don’t want to be by yourself. But you're a big boy and one night at a shitty bar won’t kill you. Besides, I had the day from hell from the moment I opened my eyes.“

Jack cut you off with a counter argument “see and what better way to end your day then to go out with friends.”

“I can think of about 100 different things that would end my day better without me even leaving this apartment..”

“Yes but none of those ideas involve me, please baby I need you with me.” He begged. You knew at that moment that this wasn’t going to end the way Jack wanted to and it would turn into a fight. With a sigh you sat up as you prepared your body for the impact of the fight that was bound to start.

“Jack, I love you but I said no. I need to stay home and get a proper night of sleep. I don’t want to go to a random bar and, as I said earlier, be hungover at work tomorrow. Some of us have normal jobs where we actually have to work year round and every work day.” You said harshly and as soon as it left your mouth you were about to apologize until Jack stood up and opened his mouth, 

“Oh come on Y/N” he snapped at you. “That’s real rich coming from you making a dig at me because you don’t have the luxury of having tomorrow off. You know you never complained about my job when I got you those concert tickets you wanted so badly? Or when I got that reservation at the new restaurant in town without even having to be put on a fucking waiting list. This is just like you, constantly complaining to me. I mean I ask for one thing and all it is from you is excuses! By the way, mind you, I have media tomorrow.” He says defensively. Each word gets louder and with more attitude then the last. 

“Ohhh my bad you had to sit in front of a camera probably in the late afternoon, and listen to people glut your ego even more than it already is.” You say as you stand up, the tiredness that consumed your body is now being replaced by pure red. “First off, I never asked for those things Jack! You gave them to me as gifts and when I tried to pay you back you straight up refused. To the point where you denied my venmo requests. So don’t throw a gift in my face! Secondly I have never once given a fuck that you play hockey, yes that’s how we met but that’s not how we got here. The fact that your even implying that is fucking ridiculous. Oh and by the way you CONSTANTLY ask for things and I give them to you because that’s what being in a relationship is about sacrifice. The one fucking time - I ask for a break your gaslighting me.” By the end you can feel the tears slowly threatening to come out from exhaustion or anger you're not sure.

“Y/N I-” you can see the regret on Jack’s face slowly coming out, as he tries to close the space between you both. 

“No not now, Get out I don’t wanna see you right now.” You exclaim clear as day, so there is no confusion.

“Y/N pl-” He softly says.

“Did you not hear me” the anger can be seen in your eyes at this point. “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY PLACE” You scream with your entire being. You stood there arms wrapping around yourself as you watched Jack’s expression harden as he turned on his toes and left. But not before slamming the door pissed at you for not immediately forgiving him like you usually did when you fought. 

As soon as the doors slammed you fell on your couch just letting all the tears fall freely from your face. Just wishing you could just go to sleep and wake up tomorrow, only to find this was all some type of twisted dream. You ended up ordering some pizza, once it got there you sat on the coach and rewatched your favorite comfort show. You ended up falling asleep to take a nap around 7 and woke up around 10:30, T.V still blaring, you hear your phone buzzing under you. Finally when you're able to get from under you, you can see multiple missed texts from Jack,.

My Love 🏒 @ 10:34 PM

Hhhiii

I am sorry

I didn’t mean to hurt you and i love you 

So much more then you could ever know babygirl

I miss you

I wish you were here 

All the texts are literally within 30 seconds of each other. At first you tried to ignore Jack’s first couple messages, writing it off as him being drunk. Jack tended to be even more likely to share his feelings and more touchy when he was tipsy. But then you hopped on Instagram to do some mindless scrolling and saw Nico girlfriend’s Stacey’s private Instagram story where everyone looked like they were having a blast. Everyone except your precious Jack who looked like he was a puppy who literally had just been kicked. Your phone dinged again, another text from Jack, 

My Love 🏒 @ 10:39 PM

I know you saw my messages baby 

Did you forget we have our read receipts on cause we love each other

I know you were tired from work and didn’t wanna come out

But I wish I could do shots with you instead of Luke

He always looks like an energetic bunny when the bartenders serve him without even asking for his fake ID.

Still deciding if you're going to answer Jack or not purely because you weren’t sure you were ready to after earlier tonight.  You decide to watch some more T.V and get your mind to relax before you will literally pass out again from exhaustion. Your phone dings again, you were prepared to answer a very annoyingly tipsy Jack just so he could stop texting you. But you were surprised when it came through as a video sent to you by Jesper. You clicked on the video. It's obvious that it’s Jesper and some girl dancing. You can tell from the video that the girl is holding the phone, while both of Jesper’s hands are around her hips. Suddenly you can see in the background Jack and Luke talking. Jesper quickly takes his phone and then flips the camera around to the pair. He zooms in on Jack looking quite sad and almost lost and then turns the camera back around so it's facing himself. “Listen Y/N can you please come get him, I told him to go home to you but he won’t listen and keeps saying something about you don’t want him there and if he keeps drinking he is going to start crying and you know the team won’t ever let that go. So really for his own reputation being protected can you come pick his ass up. Also love you and hope this didn’t wake you up. Cause you're scary when someone messes with your sleep.” 

The video ends as quickly as it began and you chuckle at the comment about your sleep. After some mental debating, you decided to just go to the bar at least to pick Jack up. You hated fighting with him anyway and him looking all sad made your heart hurt. You decided to surprise Jack and not let him know you were coming because then he wouldn’t leave you alone until you got there. You decided to get changed out of your sweats - well Jack sweats - before you left. You decided to wear just a basic pair of black jeans, a t-shirt and some air force ones. As you glance in the mirror you chuckle to yourself as you are dressed exactly like something Quinn would wear. You swear to yourself you used to dress nicer before you started talking to Jack. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once you find a parking spot and get out of your car. You silently curse to yourself as the clouds open up and rain pours down hard. You started to lightly jog down the street to get into the bar before you became completely soaked. Once you got through the bouncer and got your ID back you stepped into the dimly lit bar. Immediately you're met by Jesper and the girl you recognize from the video. 

“Oh my God Y/N you're here! Wow well let’s just get you a drink” as he is obviously trying to steer you to the bar. The girl standing on the other side of you.

“No Jesper I just came to get Jack and go home. I drove here. I'm not drinking. Where’s Jack?” You ask and that’s when you turn to face Jesper and you spot the rest of the hockey team taking up a few tables near the back. In the far corner you spot Jack, but before you can feel relief for finding him so quickly. You immediately become nausious  because he’s cuddling up with a girl. A girl you recognized off instagram as one of those New Yorker model/influencers and before you can make yourself turn away. You saw them kissing, you felt sick, your stomach dropping. You shouldn’t be this upset since you knew who Jack was when you met him. Hell you were one of the girls who slid into his DMs. Jesper catches your eye as the random girl behind you touches your shoulder trying to comfort you. 

“Y/N.” Jesper says softly. 

“Nope, don't. I’m not upset really, it’s not like we were together or anything just some fuck buddies right? He can do whatever he wants and fuck we both can do whatever the fuck we want right.” You tell him as you turn to the bar. “Well I want a drink but not here. I’m going home. Hey, can you do me a favor?”

“Anything.” Jesper whispers as his eyes soften as they look at you. 

“Don’t tell anyone I was here, especially Jack.” 

“Of course Y/N. I am sorry by the way.”

As you turn to leave you make eye-contact with Luke from across the bar and you knew you had to get out of here quickly. Even if Jesper promised not to tell anyone the Hughes brothers were always loyal to each other. It was one of the things you admired about Jack and his brothers when you met him. 

“Family is forever,” he told you one night. 

“Like Lilo and Stitch really J?”

“Okay don’t be a hater of where it comes from, the point stands. My brothers will always be here for me and I will be there for them.” He told you as he threw his arms around you as you laid on the coach.  “Just like I’ll always be here for you sweets.” As he gently kissed your cheek. 

You made it all the way out of the bar, storm fully in force now. Even the bouncer decided to abandon his outside post in order to stay dry. Once your feet hit the pavement, you took a second to let yourself feel all your emotions. You let out a soft scream of pure pain. It felt as if your heart was on fire, as you put your hands on your knees to help you catch your breath. But then your anxiety kicked in and you could feel the start of a panic attack starting. You wanted to move your feet because you knew Jack was going to be exiting the bar soon once Luke told him you were at the bar. But you can’t focus on anything as the anxiety overtakes your body. You could feel your nails digging into your knees just trying to bring you back down to Earth. Then you feel someone touch your shoulder. You assumed it was one of the WAGS or another teammate who might have seen everything go down. But then you hear his voice, Jack’s voice “Baby, Y/N it’s okay breath.-” 

As soon as your brian registers that it’s Jack you feel your body push him away. As you turn around not caring if he can see the tears softly starting to form in your eyes. “No - no” As you turn to quickly try to go to your car, each step faster than the last, until you're practically sprinting. 

You didn’t have to turn around to know that Jack was following after you. Jack would always come after you. He held your heart like a bungee cord, you might be able to walk away for a little bit. But in the end it would always snap back to Jack’s hands. 

“Wait please slow down Y/N/N-” he yells, speeding up his walking as you pick up your speed even more down the street. But when you hear his attempt to use that nickname you stop suddenly and turn around. 

“No you don’t get to call me that! That name is reserved for family and friends! And you don’t belong in either of those categories anymore.” You yell at him, barely able to hear yourself over the rain and pounding of your heart in your ears. You hope it sounded a lot more direct and hurtful than it sounded in your head. It must have done the trick because through your tears you could see Jack physically wince. 

“Please Y/N I’m sorry. It didn’t mean anything to me okay. She came up to me and-” he started explaining but stopped when you put your hand up.

“Jack, please don’t hurt me more than you already have by telling me your bullshit excuses.” you plead. 

“It’s not bullshit! It’s the truth. I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” He says the ending a lot softer, almost a whisper compared to the screaming a few moments prior. 

“What are we doing Jack? I thought we were together, I thought you cared about me? But here we are, I can't do this.” you tell him, the tears streaming clearly down your face, the little bit of makeup you have on is now smearing. 

“Please baby… don’t say that. I do care about you, you know that. i - we weren’t together I didn’t know.” Jack argues. 

“Please you knew, you knew but you got caught in the moment. Saying you didn’t know would be like me not knowing the sky is blue or that the Earth isn’t round. I mean - FUCK - everyone knew Jack! I mean your mom calls me once a week to check-in with me. My mom asks about you whenever I talk to her on the phone. I mean I spend more nights in your bed than I do on my own. Geez even Anna asked me if I wanted to resign the lease for another year next month, or if I was moving in with you finally. So, don’t tell me you didn’t know, you knew. But for some reason you stopped yourself from accepting it. I don’t know, maybe you didn’t wanna settle for someone not famous, maybe it’s cause I don’t look like all the other WAGs, or maybe you were scared. Honestly I don’t give a shit what your excuse is or was for that matter. I am done Jack.” The tears slowly start to stop following down your face as you take another step back creating more space between you and Jack. 

You knew with each word you spoke you were hurting Jack more and more. But, in the moment you couldn’t bring yourself to care especially when he opened his mouth next. 

“Yeah, well.. You know if you would have just come tonight, that girl probably would have never come up to me. She said she only came up to me because-” but before he could finish his final blow someone cut him off. 

“Jack!” Nico yelled, finally catching up to us. “That’s enough man. Your fucking drunk. Don’t say something you can’t fix in the morning” He says finally catching up to Jack. Softly putting his arms around his upper body, whether to stop him following you once you left or help him stand up straight you were unsure. 

“I can’t keep doing this to myself” you softly proclaim, not sure if you're telling yourself or Jack. “I deserve better, and honestly so do you. I can’t keep loving you with my entire being. While you can’t even admit that we were in a committed relationship.And you saying that you cheating tonight was basically my fault” You say as you look into Jack’s eyes. Somehow your words broke Jack. His anger from moments ago became deep regret. 

“We never had the talk.” He whispers whether to himself or you it’s unclear but it lights a fire inside you, Nico slowly detached himself from Jack recognizing that neither of you probably wanted him there for this. He slowly made some distance between himself and Jack. 

“My god Jack for once in your life - open your goddamn eyes - okay yes we didn’t say it! We didn’t say that we were exclusive! But you know what we did talk about? We talked about having KIDS one day, getting MARRIED, living in MICHIGAN TOGETHER in the off seasons, traveling to Europe TOGETHER. So don’t - you don’t get to use that as your excuse!” By the end of your speech your throat was sore - you didn’t know if it was from the crying or screaming - perhaps a mixture of both. 

“I’m sorry Y/N '' Jack says, refusing to even look in your eyes anymore, instead finding comfort in staring at his shoes. 

“I know you are, but I can’t do this. Goodbye Jack.” you announce. Like it was some type of public service announcement that you were done with Jack. That you were done with the games and for the first time in your life you were choosing yourself. A small tiny part of you felt relief when you finally made it back to your car and buckled your seatbelt. Maybe it’s because for the first time in a year you knew where your relationship stood with Jack nonexistent.

[dotthings]

Congrats to the fans of the wee woo show. I don’t go here but it makes me happy to witness how this arc for Evan Buckley got to bloom and I’m happy because I hope this reflects another shift in the TV industry.

For some media commentary context for you: ABC network is owned by Disney. Fox network was owned by Rupert Murdoch. So I can see how the network change for 911 can easily be a factor on how this got greenlit, after years of creator Tim Minear’s intention to work in hints, on the off chance he could take it there. (I don’t go here, but I did my reading). Oliver Stark who plays Buck also revealed he's been for it and couldn't say anything, until he was sure they could do it, until it aired and was out there. (*steeples fingers*)

For further context, Bob Iger—with George Lucas’ vocal support—just fended off a right wing coup on the Disney board from the kinds of people (like Peltz) who complain “why do we need so many female leads” “why do we need movies with all Black leads.” While it doesn’t mean Disney is no longer an evil megacorp, I’m pointing out that its CEO defended inclusive Disney brand content to the shareholders and the board, as well as dismantling the idea that it can’t be entertainment while being diverse.

The ripple of this goes outside of the wee woo show fandom. I’m seeing the joy on my dash from people who don’t watch the show or don’t watch it regularly, as well as from people who have been watching a long time and noticed things and realized there was a progression and it was there all along, and I know how much this must mean to a lot of people. With the world being how it is, with what people are facing inside the US from the far right, in their real lives.

It’s very hopeful in general for inclusion levels on a major network TV show, owned by a big evil megacorp. Representation matters.

Also I'm aware the wee woo show already had a queer couple, plus it's already an intersectional inclusive series, that’s great.

There shouldn't be limits placed on inclusion though. “But you already have X” shouldn't be weaponized to tell people to shut up. There is no “enough” or “too much” when it comes to inclusion. While I'm not for undermining the inclusion that's there, I've seen that weaponization used with a series that hasn't been great on inclusion, and I've seen that weaponization used for 911, which is. It's a sus argument.

Indirect and unintentional as it is, also bi Buck shut down every concern troll, every gaslight, every denial, every rationale I've ever seen people deploy against bi Dean. Everything from people who don’t understand what bi actual means—“but he likes girls so he can’t be bi”—to “but he wasn’t declared bi from the start of the show so he can’t”—yes he can and the wee woo show just did. On one of the original big three networks. Or people who say it would "ruin the character." Really? “But he’s an action hero”—so what? Evan Buckley is a hero, Dean is a hero, both badass action heroes. “People who see this as canon are delusional”—Evan Buckley went O RLY? Not so delusional now, is it.

Evan Buckley avenged bi Dean.

It’s self-evident. It’s right there. Different show, different network, but the concepts are familiar, the situation has a certain familiarity. This turn of events on an ABC show didn't just make bi Dean fans valid. bi Dean fans were always valid, the bi Dean reading was always valid. But I appreciate how much what happened on the wee woo show bonked people with a truth stick, about self discovery, character arcing, queer readings, queer coding, and the validity of merely noticing things.

[alexawynters]

Scarlet Whispers pt 6

Gif not mine

A/N: I edited this while stoned. Probably not my best idea. Also this feels so filler. Should I upload chapter 7 as well??

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Female!Reader

Trigger warnings (let me know if I forgot to tag anything): Mentions of past child abuse, stalking, horror, dubcon, kidnapping, stockholm syndrome, gaslighting, angst, smut. There will be bits of fluff tho.

Rating: M. Minors DNI

Masterlist with parts 1-5 here

Chapter Six

The next morning, you found yourself unusually attached to Wanda, refusing to let her out of your sight. You had always disliked the idea of being clingy with the few friends you had, but with your mind in disarray from the events of the previous night, she was the only bastion of comfort you knew. Playing your games only reminded you of your suspicions, and the fact that you could only watch hard copies of anything had the same effect. Instead, you longed for the witch to hold you, alleviating your treacherous thoughts. Unfortunately, you couldn't express this to her without giving away what you had discovered, so instead you clung to her side whenever possible.

Not that Wanda minded, of course. If anything, she was wondering why she hadn't thought to arrange a little home invasion or something to draw you into her arms sooner. But better late than never, right? The witch cooed and fawned over you in her native Sokovian every time you pulled her back to you when she started to get up or go to her garden. Part of you wanted to ask her for a translation - she always called you some nickname or another - but you never had any idea. Another part just savored the way her language rolled off her tongue. You began to consider that you didn't need to know exactly; you could grasp the gist of it well enough.

Wanda, on her part, began sharing more of her work with you. She didn't reveal everything, of course, but she would show you snippets, especially since you were so intent on being by her side. She wanted to make you more familiar with what she was doing. The witch would demonstrate how she observed the multiverse using one-way portals she would conjure, to ensure your protection from external dangers. Naturally, Wanda made sure to only show you versions of the Avengers who would actually be a threat to you, who were truly evil in their universe. She hoped this would sway you further to her side, seeing the atrocities they would commit, the powers they wielded.

For sure this made you fearful of the Avengers. However, you never forgot what Wanda initially told you about her origins, her experiences with her versions of the Avengers, and your own involvement. The current situation didn't align with what Wanda had previously shared, sowing doubt to further creep into your heart and mind. These individuals were supposed to be heroes, just like Wanda once was. So why were they now posing a threat to you specifically?

That's what you couldn't understand. All Wanda seemed to care about was keeping you by her side, keeping you safe. But why would the "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" have any interest in you? You weren't a villain. Incapable of harming even a fly, you had never harmed anyone in your life, despite times when you should have defended yourself. So if they didn't want you, then who did they want?

Your gaze turned from the portal Wanda was observing to the witch herself. Could they want Wanda? You had witnessed what she had done in Westview, but she had done the right thing in the end. Surely that counted for something, not just in terms of morality but also with these so-called-heroes. Wanda wasn’t a villain.. Was she?

As you looked at her focused figure, you reflected on all the ways she had supported you. Openly confessing to journeying through multiple universes just to locate you; she rescued you from an abusive family, shielded you from the monotonous 9-to-5 existence, and brought you to your new home. Throughout your time together, Wanda had consistently shown nothing but care and affection, fulfilling your every desire. If Wanda was considered a "villain," did that moniker truly matter to you?

Captivating green eyes, flecked with bits of gold, sparkled with intensity as they met yours. In that moment, you made a firm decision: you didn't care if she was a villain. Perhaps you wished she had been more honest about her intentions and actions, but as far as you knew, she hadn't done anything truly villainous. If her "crime" was saving you, she shouldn't be punished for it.

"What is it, lyubov moya?" she asked, amused, having caught you in the middle of your intense gaze. Wanda wasn't sure exactly what you were thinking without reading your mind, but the way you looked at her, as if you had appraised her and found her to be the perfect answer to all you were seeking, made her feel weightless. Warmth bloomed in her chest as she gazed fondly at you.

Caught in your staring, you blushed and shook your head in denial, trying to hide any thoughts you may have had. Instead of responding, you leaned your head on her shoulder and wrapped your arms around her closest arm, indicating to her to continue her work.

Wanda smiled at you briefly before returning to her task. She didn't want to spend too much time observing the multiverse, as she had already set up multiple wards and alerts in case anything significant happened. It seemed that you wanted to cuddle, and she saw no reason to decline. Finished with her goal, arm in arm, Wanda led you to the living room and turned on the TV to watch the Dick Van Dyke show, knowing you enjoyed it almost as much as she did, despite its age. Contentedly, you nestled into her embrace, inhaling the faint scent of vanilla, and settled in comfortably.

Although you had decided to accept Wanda for who she was, you couldn't completely shake the persistent doubts in your mind. Those doubts crept into your dreams, turning them into nightmares.

Unlike most of your dreams, and even nightmares, these were fragmented. They appeared as flashes, resembling memories almost. In some of these fragments, a woman dressed in black and red was chasing after a man in a cape, and a teenage girl, as they hurried through what seemed like a monastery. The same woman in red effortlessly utilized puddles and mirrors to traverse through the monastery, pulling people back through. Although her face remained unseen, the outfit seemed familiar; a feeling of dread and unease overwhelming you whenever you came close to catching a glimpse. 

Unable to do anything, you were a helpless bystander to what was surely a slaughter. You hoped that this woman was just letting these people go, simply getting them out of the way. In your heart somehow you knew that was likely not the case. Suddenly, you had a close-up view from directly behind the woman, as she pulled another unsuspecting victim through a puddle, swiftly snapping his neck.

You woke up to the sound of screaming, and it wasn't until Wanda held you in her arms, turned you to face her, shushing you gently, that you realized the scream was yours.

It took Wanda longer than usual, but eventually she was able to calm you down and get you to go back to sleep next to her. However, you were uncharacteristically stiff and silent, a stark contrast to the affectionate person you had been earlier. Wanda was tempted to read your mind, but she had been making a conscious effort to refrain from doing so. She wanted the connection between you both to be genuine, and invading your privacy by reading your thoughts would not contribute to that. If it were anyone else, she wouldn't hesitate, but you were the one person whose privacy she respected and didn't want to intrude upon if there was any other way.

Night terrors were common for you, which was expected given your level of trauma, and how often you had them in Wanda’s presence. This one felt different to her. You had never recoiled from her touch before, even in the beginning when she first brought you to Wundagore. Wanda's touch had always been a source of comfort, capable of dispelling your fears. So why were you suddenly so tense in her embrace, as if you wished to be anywhere else?

Her heart clenched with fear and hurt that you weren’t comfortable sharing what had upset you. However, she knew that pressuring you would only make you shut down. Instead, the witch took a deep breath through her nose promising herself to be patient. It was incredibly vexing that she always seemed to make one step forward with you, and then two steps back. Wanda believed that you would eventually come to her, if given enough time. She hoped at least.  If Wanda couldn't trust you, then who could she trust? She couldn't bear to entertain that train of thought. 

Gentle rays of sunlight streamed through the curtains into your shared bedroom, rousing you from your restless sleep. The bed felt cold, and the delightful aroma of pancakes filled the air, wafting in from the kitchen down the hall. You concluded that Wanda must be preparing breakfast. Yawning, you got out of bed and padded your way towards the witch and the enticing aromas that made your stomach growl.

An adorable sight greeted you, causing your heart to flutter pleasantly in your chest. Wanda, clad in her favorite blue plaid robe, black pajama top, and dark grey sweatpants, dancing around the kitchen as she cooked for you both, listening to some 90’s pop. What a dork, you thought, affectionately. 

As if sensing your presence, the witch spun around. “Good morning, detka! Breakfast will be ready in just a sec!”

Your lips quirked upwards in a grin. How could this woman be so perfect, you wondered?

“No rush. Is there anything I can help with?”

Viridescent eyes twinkled with appreciation. Her girl always had such good manners, so sweet, so helpful. “No, dorogoya, I have it covered. Sweet of you to offer though.” Wanda walked around with your pancakes and set them on a plate in front of you, before placing a quick, but gentle kiss to the top of your head.

On contact, your body froze. A furtive glance cast in the witch’s direction but Wanda had already turned her back to you, completely unaware. You didn't understand what had just happened, but when the former avenger had entered your personal space, you felt an unexpected and almost overwhelming urge to run. Even now you were actively resisting it, trying to stay seated. It would look weird if you suddenly fled from the room, and you weren’t sure how to explain to Wanda when she inevitably would ask you why.

 Taking a few moments to breathe through your nose, you swallowed nervously and willed yourself to remain in place. What the fuck? What was wrong with you? This was Wanda, not some stranger out to get you. Gods, how traumatized were you anyway?

Before the witch could notice your discomfort, you quickly devour the breakfast she had prepared for you. With a disarming grin, you tried to regain a sense of normalcy by complimenting the chef. Wanda responded with a brilliant smile and plated her own breakfast before sitting down in the chair next to you. A soft, cool hand gently brushed across your lower back as she passed by.

This time, you shivered pleasantly, grateful that your body had recognized the familiarity that was Wanda, and she posed no threat to you. The anxiety that had been coursing through your veins just moments before began to fade. In an attempt to regain that sense of safety that the witch typically provided, you moved your chair closer to Wanda, earning yourself an affectionate look from the older woman.

Your behavior was a significant departure from the stiff and silent demeanor you had the night before, and Wanda was relieved that you weren't still pushing her away. If you had continued to distance yourself, she had resolved to read your mind without your permission to understand what was troubling you. Understanding that you had trust issues, and some uncertainty was to be anticipated, but Wanda was growing weary of every bit of progress being quickly overshadowed by your own lack of confidence. The witch contemplated how to better help you grow more than she already had been.

Conversation between the two of you flowed easily once again. Wanda had promised herself to be patient with you, although personally she knew patience wasn't her strong suit. For you though, she would try. A breakthrough in your relationship felt imminent. Maybe all you needed was a gentle nudge. Perhaps time for Wanda to stop allowing you to doubt her intentions and take a more direct approach with you. As ideas began forming in her mind, she had to muster her facial expression so as not to inadvertently reveal her plans for you, and how excited she was to surprise you.

A/N 2: ehhh... how are we feeling about where this is going? Again, edited when stoned so sorry if its... rambly.. Rambles? Words are hard.

Again thanks as always to @flowers-shouldnt-die as well as my friend Brooke for beta-ing these for me. You guys are so helpful and the best cheerleaders and I appreciate y'all.

Taglist: @dorabledewdroop

[stemms]

Hello, guys. I’m sorry for being inactive in terms of original content lately, but I’m back, and right now I would like to give you an important update.

I’d briefly mentioned my abusive familial situation in the past, but I never really went into details. However, I’d like to share more context now, as it is directly related to the reason for my sudden disappearance.

I’ve been trapped in an abusive situation for the past seven years, and the longer I stayed in this household, the worse it became. While the abuse was mostly psychological, it escalated to the point where one of my abusers nearly choked me to death. I will elaborate on that incident after giving you some context.

My abusers are my mother and stepfather, with the latter causing me more harm. He tends to always blame me for everything, invent more and more nonsensical rules for me to follow (and randomly abandoning some, only to come up with something else) and get mad if I don’t learn them by heart the moment he introduces them (which happens because of my horrible memory that his abuse worsened). He always expected me to reach out to him if I needed emotional support, but when I was actually struggling mentally, he either preferred to ignore it or cut off the internet because “it was obviously the reason”. Additionally, he’d always get mad at me over the stupidest things ever and use it as an excuse to yell at me for 2 hours. Also, fun fact: some of my top posts are heavily inspired by something he did to me (: (: (: My mother isn’t better because she watched every single time he was abusing me, but never really tried to stop him. Yet, when I tried to confront her about his behaviour and explain that this is literal abuse, she’d gaslight me into thinking it’s normal, and it could’ve been worse, so I’m lucky and he “has good intentions anyway”. She’s also extremely controlling, manipulative, and obsessed with the idea of moulding me into the person she never got to be, as well as always keeping me around.

Since I’ve been dealing with this kind of behaviour for so long, my mental health seriously deteriorated. My hands are always shaky, I flinch whenever my stepfather enters the room, I tremble if he comes too close, I flinch if he touches me, I’m horrified of maintaining eye contact with him, I’m always in the fight or flight mode, I overanalyse his behaviour and always make sure to do anything I can (even if it's humiliating) to ensure that he doesn't hurt me again. Recently, I started going to therapy and taking medication, and it's been very helpful so far.

Although things weren’t perfect already, I didn’t expect my life to be threatened. A while ago, I was having an argument with my transphobic mother about my identity, and after it was over, we had dinner. During the argument, my stepfather wasn’t home, so he was unaware of it, but he noticed the tense atmosphere, and it infuriated him to the point where he went to the kitchen to do the dishes instead of eating with us. I had a feeling that he thought it was my fault, so I followed him to reassure him that my mother’s state wasn’t his fault, and it was just a small argument between us (which was literally true), but he started shouting at me because he assumed I was accusing him of something???? I tried to reassure him some more, and then he lashed out at me and said lots of transphobic shit. After that, he grabbed me, pushed me to the floor and got on top of me, pressing me harder and harder to the floor, started choking me so hard that I could barely breathe, so I bit him, and he continued to choke me and pull my hair. I messaged my English Literature teacher and she called the police. We were interrogated and although my mom told me to downplay it, I was too scared to do so and told them everything, plus showed them the pictures of my bruises.

After that, I couldn’t look at any c!Prime content for a while because it suddenly felt triggering, so I just needed to take a break from my blog and work on my mental health for a while. But right now, I'm doing better and I’m feeling more comfortable about c!Prime again, so I should be able to make more content soon. I must admit, I'm not that hyperfixated on it at the moment, but I’m definitely going to do more c!Prime content soon because these freaks are too fun :)

[soyellowcurtainsthen]

I mean.. to be honest I think they were testing us with that Mama/Papa hints, what if Babe is pregnant already? If not he could be soon, I mean it could be great opportunity for them as you said to create plot, I had an idea of Way kidnapping their baby because of their powers - imagine what powers they would get.. it could be cool - seeing them thinking that it’s their time to take care of newborn and then boom - nightmares from past came back - I think Pavel would go for acting as pregnant Babe and I think that producers are open minded as well.. and even they told us that after seeing our engagement they decided to get us season 2? Yeah I’m 100% sure

Hello again anon!

Honestly anything could happen considering we are talking about the same change2561 that tried to gaslight us last year by telling us that Pitbabe wouldn’t have any omegaverse in the actual show only to take a baseball bat to our heads with the trailer mentioning alphas in the first two seconds, I don’t trust them ever because they lie to our faces 😂😂

I do find it interesting how Way is framed in the same light as Tony’s old crew with Kenta and Tony himself, with them all being on the periphery of the main group at the graveside, the trailer really wants us to be untrustworthy of him like the others. Now this could mean that the Way we have back is not the same Way we lost ( for like a multitude of reasons, evil clone, wasn’t resurrected properly, lost his memories etc) AND IF THATS THE CASE, we might get almost a regression back to the original plot to get Babe’s special superpowers offspring, so your kidnapping theory might have some weight there!

It’ll definitely be a wild ride that’s for sure!

[linklethehistorian]

Total Eclipse (1995) — A Movie Review by linklethehistorian (Post 4/4)

(Continuation of review placed under the cut for length and spoilers; proceed at your own risk.)

The Takeaway

Having watched this film somewhere upwards of about forty times upon reaching this section of the review (and still likely about to watch it just one time more afterward, in order to gather the clip compilations mentioned earlier and check for any possible errors in my writings here), the one thing that I can say with absolute confidence is that Total Eclipse (1995) is a pretty mixed bag of both good and bad elements.

On the one hand, the cast, the vast majority of the acting, the sets and filming locations, the wardrobes, the music, the chosen color palette, and at times even the quality of the dialogue for the film are all extremely excellent, but on the other, the pacing suffers greatly, the types and timings of the scene transitions are often extremely disorienting or just plain appear unpolished, the timeline of events is often vague at best, and the writing, when it’s not showing off its high points, is otherwise extremely awkward and unnatural, absurdly edgy merely for the sake of it, or just plain unbearably bad.

Most notable and important of all, though — at least, to me — and what makes me personally label it as a “bad movie” despite that I have admittedly enjoyed some other films and different story-driven media much less, is its conscious decision to go far above and beyond the standard “based on a true story” statement to tell us that everything within it is, in fact, 100% real and accurate to the life stories of those portrayed within and taken directly from their letters and poetry, only to then get so much of it so abysmally wrong that at times it is deeply difficult and disorienting to follow even for someone who has dedicated years of their life to studying Arthur Rimbaud and Paul Verlaine’s history in multiple languages.

There were numerous times while watching and writing about this film that I had to turn back to several of my many different notes and sources just to make doubly sure that I wasn’t going crazy for thinking, “hey, that’s not how [event] happened, right?” because the movie doubled down so much on that particular wrong narrative that it bordered on gaslighting — if such a thing was possible for a film to achieve.

…And I have to be honest: I don’t get it. Outside of the theory I have already posited before about wanting to move heaven and Earth to give the film what it deems a happier and more romantic end, I truly don’t understand why it was even necessary to go to such lengths when, in reality, the original, genuine version of the events they are claiming to portray were actually much more interesting than whatever the movie’s interpretation had going on with it.

The most tragic thing about this film being so awful is that it had every opportunity not to be; not only did it have everything going for it in terms of talents, but the premise itself was genuinely great. The true life stories of Verlaine and Rimbaud and their affair are extremely fascinating, dark, intense, and dramatic subjects that would lend themselves more than extraordinarily well to a movie on the big screen — at least if done correctly, with great care taken towards accurately representing those it involves, but the writers here instead decided that it was more important to rewrite and ‘dramatize’ those events and the causes behind them than to care if it was a fair and respectful portrayal.

If this was a completely fictional story about fictional people, then it would be different; I would still personally find it vomit-inducing and creepy, and thus very much not for me as an individual, if it romanticized abuse and demonized a victim while painting the main offender in a pitiful light, but as long as none of it was real, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal — just one of the many fucked up pieces of media that exist out there in the world for those who look for and want it.

But this isn’t fiction; this is supposedly meant to tell a real life story about real life people who actually genuinely lived on this planet at one point just like you or I, and despite this particular movie having become practically impossible to find through any safe and reputable source in very recent years, I have unfortunately legitimately encountered many people whose formative opinions on Paul and Arthur were largely based in one way or another on this film and the very untrustworthy things it alleges — which is honestly the main reason I decided to write this review in the first place: to use my acquired knowledge to clear the air of continued misinformation as much as possible.

…Then again, you do get to see Leonardo DiCaprio pretending to be a dead poet who is pretending to be a dog or a goat at least a few times within this movie, so maybe it all evens out in the end. …I’m kidding, of course — about it evening out, anyway; you do actually get to see that, and David Thewlis pretends to be a goat too, briefly.

In all seriousness, if you don’t care about any of the above historical inaccuracies, and you’re just here to see your favorite actors, or you’re looking for a movie that’s really good at making you feel uncomfortable, then you’ll probably actually get a good amount of enjoyment out of Total Eclipse. …Or if you’re looking for a good second-hand embarrassment simulator — you’d get a lot of that out of this film, too.

Even in spite of everything I’ve said in this section — and the fact that every time I watch it I feel my soul slowly draining out of my body while I sit like a deer in the headlights — it’s not like I can stay away from this film for whatever reason, either; it feels like I make the very inadvisable decision to make the journey over to my preferred website of choice and try to watch it at least every other month even when I’m not writing a review, so…yeah, I’m not really one to talk badly about its watchability.

Anyway, that’s my review of Total Eclipse (1995). If you made it to the end of this, congratulations!!! — …Or…my sympathies; whichever may be most fitting. Thanks for reading, and I hope you have a great day that is hopefully not haunted by the mental image of Arthur Rimbaud barking and panting in a mirror or crawling around in a field bleating.

[Click here for Part 0: Preamble]

[Click here for Part 1: The Good]

[Click here for Part 2: The Bad]

[whalehouse1]

The Red Hood Problem (for me):

This is more for the comic than the show since I think the movie did a much better job at Bruce than the comic did.

Jason is now a murderer after this comic, this part is fine since he can still operate in Gotham having that be true (Cass, Jean-Paul, Damian, Tim, etc.) but the way they went about it doesn’t work for me. His resurrection has him come back, go on a frenzy and kill some of Ra’s’ men before he flees into the desert. Now where his mind is at here is debated, but if he survived the desert he must have been “sane” at one point. Or you like Lost Days and the Al Ghuls just picked him back up to train him, which that’s a different issue I have with Batman comics. He then gets back to Gotham and ruthlessly kills drug lords, pimps and other such criminals as it’s the only way to protect Gotham. This is where my first problem comes into play. Jason’s father was a criminal who died due to Two-Face and his mother (Catherine, that other woman can burn for all I care) died of a drug overdose. So him coming from that background had to be retconned so he wouldn’t go “oh extreme poverty and desperation can lead people to do things they wouldn’t consider otherwise”, but instead go to the classic, “my dad beat me so it’s okay that I became an orphan”, because then he’d have to be shown recognizing that killing people could result in leaving people behind much worse off. They try to do this in Urban Legends but Jason just seems a little off character there, especially knowing Tyler’s mom might not make it along with him just being a lack of impulse control personified. Then on top of them retconning (read gaslighting) his parents, they also keep trying to rewrite him as this super grumpy Robin who just would attack without thought. But we have the original Jason stories, he was rough around the edges, sure, but he wasn’t cruel or nasty or more violent than other Robins. And that’s what makes Red Hood so tragic, is he lost his joy and became resentful instead. He still kept his kindness in well-written stories, because he’s the same as Cass when it comes to bleeding hearts. If they can’t save someone they go full on Bruce moping mode. But nope, now we have Jason who couldn’t care less about saving people, he just wants to sow discord. And I know it was all to get the Joker out of Arkham, which just shows Jason as stupid (he isn’t but they love putting the stupid Robin label on him and Steph) since if he waited a day or two, Joker would be back on the streets. Then we get to my final issue, aside from Bruce not wanting to kill Joker but having no issue slicing Jason’s throat. It completely invalidates so much of Bruce’s decision to not kill the Joker that the hypocrisy leaks through the page and destroys any reason Jason could hold onto the “He didn’t kill because it’s his one rule” which yes is understandably frustrating for Jason but at least could give him some reason to think Bruce didn’t just value him as a body on the job. Which Bruce didn’t, Bruce, before some twats got allowed to write him, loved his children unconditionally, spent time with them and was a good father to them. This dunks on that harder than him and Dick in Infinite Crisis. It also perpetuates the Batman/Joker Optimus Prime/Megatron dynamic of “we’re made for each other to kill!!!”, which I’m fine with when it’s the Joker thinking that but not Batman. These rogues do not mean more to him than his children. He assaulted Two-Face, one of his closest friends when he attacked Dick, extremely violently might I add, but Joker gets a pass because “they’re the same you and I”? No that’s some BS right there. Also it cements the Red Hood backstory and I’m firmly anti-backstory Joker. But the actual final problem is the redemption part of his story. Writers don’t seem to do this and have him revert back to killing or he uses non-lethal rounds 😑, but it usually comes out of nowhere and it never is satisfactory. Have him keep killing and have the Bats have to put him away or actually write character growth for him in the Batman comic so it can more easily bleed over. But they won’t since edge lords sell. I absolutely love Jason and I as much as I wish you could retcon his death.

[monstergoblin]

The Owl Pirates Chapter Eight

First Chapter Tumblr Link HERE Previous Chapter Tumblr Link HERE Posted First On A03 Here  It’ll be updated on A03 first and might take me a bit to get to updating it here as I always seem to forget about my tumblr. <3

 Trigger Warnings Always Read Safe: Depression, Suicidal thoughts, Pushing down feelings, Overworking self to ignore feelings, Child Abuse (Belos is a bitch okay), Gaslighting, Self Gaslighting, Manipulation, Injuries

Notes: A fluff chapter!!! Oh sorry you probably want to know what happened to Hunter....that's next chapter Chapter 8: Luz is A Mess

   Originally Luz had been happy that Hunter felt comfortable enough to ask her to be his partner while being in port. It showed that the mysterious ex-navy boy actually wanted to try to be friends- even if he wasn’t fully convinced himself yet.

     But then Amity- the gorgeous, pretty, amazing, super cool Amity- asked Hunter to trade partners with her. Luz thought she was dreaming. Amity used a so-called ‘favor’ that Hunter owed her- Luz didn’t know how that happened- but she used it to hang out with Luz!

     Did that mean something? It had to mean something? Why else would she do it?

     Luz couldn’t let herself do this and get her hopes up. What if Amity didn’t return her feelings and Luz was imagining it all. Though Luz desperately wanted Amity to have just wanted to be alone with her.

     It was a nice thought.

     They went to find some new books first of course. Luz had grabbed a few she was willing to trade out and Amity had her own. It was part of living on a ship, you had to make sacrifices of old things to get anything new. Of course neither of them would even dream about trading off their Good Witch Azura books- not those were special. 

     Not only did Luz originally get that series from her father but it even brought Amity and her to be friends. When the ex-merchant had spotted Luz reading the book it had struck up a conversation- mostly because Amity had been hunting the one Luz was reading down. It was nice having another person on the ship who cared as deeply about the series as Luz did.

     Then of course Luz had to be stupid and get a crush- but she could get over that- eventually- but not if Amity kept being so fucking amazing.

     Amity had bought Luz a little purple half-shawl that mocked the dress's top on the cover of The Good Witch Azura. Luz didn’t know why Amity did it- she even bought herself a little moon necklace to match Hecate.

     It was so cute Luz thought she was going to die.

     “It’s amazing!” Luz did a little twirl in her new shawl. “Thank you thank you thank you!” She moved her arms around to see the shawl move around.

     “It was a lucky find.” Amity smiled watching her inspect the new thing. “I couldn’t pass it up.”

     “Well I feel bad I didn’t get you anything.” Luz didn’t know truthfully what could top a gift like this.

     “I basically owe you already.” Amity waved it off. Her face was so cute when she was blushing. “For all the times you let me borrow things even back when I was a bitch.” She gave a nervous smile.

     “You were only a bitch because your mother was a bitch. “ Luz declared.

     “That doesn’t excuse me wanting to kill you.” Amity giggled.

     “That’s in the past.” Luz waved off. “We’re friends now aren’t we?”

     They had been shopping and trading all day. They were careful only to buy things they could carry as it was the first day here and they both wanted to enjoy it before returning to the ship.  Now it was getting dark and everyone was sure to be heading to one place.

     “I bet I can make it to the tavern before you.” Luz smirked meeting Amity's gaze.

     “Oh you are on.” 

     The central point of Bumps island was the tavern Hexside. The once small tavern had been grown and expanded to such a size to be impressive. It had started out as just a measly little thing according to Eda, only originally being true to its name of tavern. Over time the tavern grew, having much more to it than just drinks to share. An inn, a nice restaurant bit, and a sparring area where just a few things added on to the original building, but what everyone looked forward to was the stage. 

     Sure, everywhere could have stages where people told jokes, and performed, but Hexside Tavern was special. Every night Bump opened the stage for everyone and in a place of pirates, merchants, and sailors anything could happen. It slowly grew from grande stories and music to who could make the most memorable performance. 

     Apparently Raine still held the record from when they were young, using mirrors and gems to make the area shine in an aurora as they played their violin and danced.

     Some would use cursed items to do little tricks in their acts, others would copy Raines' idea, some even had others assist using lights to make it seem magical. 

     “I’m going to win!” Luz shouted back to Amity. 

     She was stopped in her tracks when she ran face first into someone.

     “Oof!” She toppled the person over. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t watching where I was going- it's completely my fault.” She was fast to jump back up and offer her hand out.

     “Would you relax.” Eda took Luzs hand but mostly stood on her own. “What’s got you in a rush anyway.” She leaned in close as she looked around. “Did you steal something?”

     “Nah Bumps gave us a warning last time remember.” Luz shrugged putting her hands in her pockets. “We were just racing.”

     “Yeah? You win?” Eda looked over Luz’s head as Amity skidded to a stop besides her. “What’s the prize?”      “No prize just for fun. “Amity pipped in.

     “No prize? Haven’t I taught you kids anything? If you’re gonna race, I might as well bet on it.” Eda scoffed. 

     “Where’s dad?” Amity asked. Luz had forgotten that usually Eda’s with him the first day of docking. As captain she liked to overlook the ship's repairs and how much it was going to cost her.

     “He’s doing his own thing.” Eda shrugged. “Already got business taken care of. Let me tell you it wasn’t pretty. Sometimes I wonder if she’s worth taking out anymore.”

     “You aren’t going to retire again?” Luz could feel her hopes crumbling away. Her whole life had become the sea, if Eda was deciding to leave what were the rest of them to do.

     “Nah, just Talon. She’s an old ship, Luz, and small. If our crew keeps growing we’ll need a bigger one.” Eda put her hands on her hips as she thought about it.

     “You mean Hunter decided to stay?” .

     “Well I saw him walking back to the ship with a chest.” Eda smirked, “Unless all that was Gus’ stuff I think he made a decision.”

     Luz couldn’t help her little happy march in place. She knew he felt different, The mysterious navy boy had been so strange but she couldn’t see the boy returning to evil Belos. Maybe he’d even help them take Belos down- unless that was too much for him? If Luz had an evil uncle she wouldn’t want to talk about him either.

     “Great,” Amity crossed her arms. “We get to babysit him some more.”

     “Babysit?” Eda snorted. “Is that what you kids been calling watching him? Ah that’s great.” She chuckled at it. “Pretty much what it is. Though no you probably won't have to babysit him anymore if he’s staying willingly I doubt he’d pull anything. Kid hasn’t done anything bad yet.”

     “Oh good.” Amity sighed a sigh of relief. “If I had to hear him claim he doesn’t need help one more time, I was going to lose it. No he can stubbornly do his chores alone without me sitting around watching.”

     “I didn’t think it was so bad.” Luz smirked at Amitys little raised brow as if to say ‘really?’. “I mean sure, he could be a little snarky but its nothing compared to hidding my dagger in her sleeve.”

     “Luz!” Amity looked betrayed. “I said I was sorry.”

     “I know you just look cute all angry.” Luz regretted it the moment it came out. The way Amitys face went red with what was probably anger said she did too.

     “Well- I’ll see you inside!” Luz ran into the tavern leaving Amity outside with Eda- who was absolutely going to hold this over Luz’s head later- alone. Her heart was racing and her face burned.

     Why was she so stupid.

     Luz hid herself in one of the corner tables of the tavern. It was packed in here- it usually was.  She used her new shawl- that Amity probably regretted buying her now- to cover her head in shame. Why couldn’t she be normal for once.

     “Oh that’s cute Luz.” Willow took a seat next to Luz- who apparently wasn’t hiding in the corner well enough.

     “Hmmffhhmm.” Luz complained into her arms not really saying anything, just vocalizing her emotions.

     “I didn’t think you could get lamer.” Matt did not take a seat next to the girls. Instead he stood by the tableside. 

     “What happened? Are you okay?” Willow put a soft hand on Luzs arm.

     “Oh yeah you know. Just being stupid.” Luz put her hands on her head. “Saying stupid things. In front of Amity. Because I’m stupid.” Luz had talked to WIllow before about the silly crush, and she had a feeling Matt already knew anyway. “Why did I say cute.” she wailed.

     “I’m sure she thought you were adorable.” Willow giggled.

     “You don’t understand she got me this cute shawl and I was stupid and she looked mad.” Luz whined.

     “Oh this is annoying-” Matt sighed. “Is Gus around I’ll go bug him.” He scanned the tavern.

     “He was taking Hunter's things back to the ship with him.” Luz put her arms under her chin letting herself rest on them. “Eda said she saw them. Don’t know where else they'd go. I doubt Gus would miss a night at Hexside.”

     “Yeah I just don’t see him.” Matt complained, taking a seat.

     “He probably just hasn’t arrived yet. He did get stuck with the new guy after all.” Willow shrugged. “Probably wants to get as much as they can done the first day. Have you seen how Hunter works? It's not healthy.”

     “You’re probably right.” Matt crossed his arms but kept his vision scanning the crowd.

     “So what happ-” Willow started but switched her sentence. “Oh Amity hi!”

     Luz sat up fast looking to the girl. She still was red in the face- was she mad? She was probably mad.

     “Hey Willow.” Amity took a seat. “Why are we sitting back here?” She questioned. “Usually we try to sit as close as possible?” She glanced at Luz.

     “O-oh well- I thought- You know Hunter might be intimidated by the whole thing- He might like being back here for his first time.” Excellent idea Luz, use the poor new boy as an excuse.

     “Oh,” Amity seemed to take it. “That's nice of you. I didn’t even think about it.” she pushed her chair closer to the table- closer to Luz. Luz was going to brust.

     Willow gave a knowing smirk to Luz and it almost sent her over her breaking point.

     “Is everything about the new kid?” Matt scoffed. “That’s all anyone wants to talk about.” 

     “Matt that’s how everyone was when you Lilith and Steve joined.” Willow giggled. “it’s just how it works. We’re all curious.”

     “I know it’s just getting old.” Matt kicked the ground.

     “You’re just mad the attentions not on you anymore?” Amity challenged.

     Matt opened his mouth to object but music on stage stopped him.

     Two musicians were playing on stage, lights dancing around them from the gems- which now was a normal thing to see at a show here. The taller one with brown hair had a lute and the shorter one with black hair had a flute.

     “He’s missing it.” Matt stated with a pout looking to the entrance.

     “Do you ever stop going on about Gus?” Amity teased.

     “You’re not any better!” Matt whispered yelled. “Besides, I'm being a good friend. Gus loves this stuff.” He motioned towards the stage.

     “Then you better pay attention so you can tell him about it in detail later.” Luz smirked.

     Most of the lanterns around the tavern were being put out by Bumps crew. Only a few stayed on to set the mood of the stage. The two on stage dance around each other almost glowing in the light.

     “Raine and I did that once.”  Eda had told Luz the first time she brought her to the tavern. Poor Eda must miss them so much. How Raine got caught up in the navy and then the rebellion was a mystery to Luz but she saw how much Eda missed them.

     Luz spotted Eda in the crowd. Concerned the show might be bringing memories back to her captain. Eda was standing to the side watching with a small smile on her face. It wasn’t a bad thing then- Eda was enjoying those memories.

     Then Luz saw Lilith sneaking her way into the show. She thought Lilith hadn’t wanted to see it but she must’ve decided to come anyway. She headed straight to her sister before whispering something in Edas ear.

     They both left in a hurry.

     What happened?

     “Luz where are you going?” Amity asked as Luz stood.

     “I just- Eda-” She started looking at the door as Eda and Lilith walked out. 

     “They probably just have ship things to talk about.” Willow reassured. “Sit down and enjoy.”

     Luz listened, but that nagging feeling kept telling her she was missing something.

     The show lasted for hours and it was amazing. Several people came to play music with gorgeous lights. Some came to tell tales of their adventures using props with gems to make it glow and sparkle, one used shadow puppets to make a more interesting tale. There was a group that performed a little musical theater. 

     It was a fun place where everyone could enjoy themselves and make cool performances.

     Luz had almost forgotten about Eda and Lilith leaving early.

     Almost.

     “He missed the whole thing.” Matt complained, kicking a rock as they walked.

     “He’s seen most of them.” Amity shrugged. “Maybe he was too tired tonight. Wanted a break from your chittering.”

     “I do not chitter!” Matt whined, his cheeks blushing. Though he looked doubtful for a second as if questioning if Gus really was sick of him.

     “He did have babysitting duty.” Willow stated. “I should’ve offered to help carry things.”

     “Gus would’ve asked if he needed it.” Amity assured.

     Luz followed behind everyone. She couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong. Lilith and Eda wouldn’t leave in a hurry for nothing and they wouldn’t leave a show for silly ship repairs- besides that should all be dealt with by Alador. So why?

     “Earth to Luz.” Amity waved a hand in front of Luzs face. “You in there?”

     “Sorry!” 

     “You want to run back to the ship to see what’s up don’t you?” Amity smirked.

     “Of course I do! I wanted to leave hours ago!” Luz exclaimed.

     “Okay then, race you.”

9TH Chapter Tumblr Link

[thatnerduknow98]

I was stunned to say the least.

I mean, she was untouchable. Literally. Every time I tried to punch her, or have a minion punch her, or shoot her, or throw something at her, she would change something about her gravitational field so I always missed.

So how could someone do this to her? I was more angry about the fact that she’d been pulverized than the fact that someone laid hands on my hero.

Then I remembered that and became more angry.

Everyone knows you don’t attack another villain’s hero. Unless they’re fighting with your hero, and she showed up alone so either the villain killed their own hero and went for her next, or I had another villain’s ass to kick. It’s just basic etiquette.

It must be a new generation villain. They never have any manners.

Further examination of my hero revealed she was drunk, pissed on, and pantyless. Rope marks skinned her wrists.

Dear god someone raped her. Like even new generation villains know that’s off limits. Seduce her? Sure. Coerce her? Maybe. Gaslight her into saying yes? I mean, that’s borderline evil but some villains have gotten away with it. Most of the time the heroes are too smart to let it get that far. And when it does, they stop being heroes. It’s becomes their villain origin story — at least, that was mine.

She was in her hero outfit so I know it wasn’t a date gone wrong. She doesn’t wear her spandex under regular clothes because it’s really uncomfortable. So for her to show up like this, she had to have been out somewhere, doing something.

Someone must’ve been trying to turn her to the dark side. But who the hell would want to turn my hero into a villain? I was flabbergasted.

Suddenly police showed up at my door. I put her down gently and raised both hands. Cops tried to arrest me, but upon seeing her like this and hearing my side of the story, they agreed to watch the security footage from the 13 cameras I have watching my house.

Still handcuffed, I grabbed my laptop and closed out of my “doomsday” word document before they could see it. I think the captain saw it anyway because he sighed a heavy sigh.

“It’s not gonna work,” I said, trying to reassure him I’m not going to turn on them until my hero is better. “It’s got too many kinks and bugs. I need more time to hash it out.”

I opened the security footage and saw her approach from the distance, looking as she did. She walked to the door this time, instead of flying. Well, more like limped. Then I opened the door and she fell in my arms.

It was weird catching her. Like she always lets me hit the concrete. But I caught her. It was the first time I’d ever laid a hand on her at all. Her skin was soft and she weighed almost nothing. It wasn’t what I expected for a rough, muscular hero always out and about fighting crime.

The captain uncuffed me and I gave him a copy of the footage. They took her away in an ambulance. She would heal fast, I thought. She’s a hero.

But then it occurred to me she’d never been hit before. Maybe she wouldn’t heal faster than everyone else.

The villain that got her must’ve got her by surprise. Dirty trick. Everyone knows you don’t surprise a hero unless they’re expecting it.

I was determined to figure out what happened so I asked the captain if I could help with the investigation. He agreed, assuming we were going after another villain and I could use my villain knowledge to help.

We started walking back in the direction she approached. A blood trail led us to the woods. A blood-stained patch of grass showed us where the fight took place. Scraps of her spandex and her panties were left under huge clumps of dirt.

“It looks like the villain had his way with her,” the captain commented. “Perhaps she’d found a new villain and it didn’t go as planned.”

“Fuck you dude,” I shot back. “Everyone knows you can’t find new villains or heroes until your nemesis decides to retire.”

He shrugged and kept looking around. Her cape was on the ground.

“She flew here,” I said, picking up the cape. “She doesn’t like to wear her cape when she isn’t flying. She really doesn’t like the cape at all, but wears it for aesthetic purposes.”

I was beginning to wonder if maybe she really did meet a new villain. One trying to seduce and corrupt her. I was angered again. That’s my job.

I can’t fly. So I grabbed a drone and tried to get it to follow her possible flight pattern — she leaves a gravitational disturbance wherever she flies that lasts a few hours — and the drone wouldn’t raise more than a few feet off the ground. It was then I realized the gravity was so heavy here that I actually couldn’t jump.

“Why would she force the villain to the ground? Maybe he can fly too?” I said.

The captain stepped away to take a phone call. I had my computers track the area, mapping the disturbances.

The captain returned stating my hero’s rape kit came back and they had dna on the guy who did it. It actually matched a familial hit in the crime database.

“I didn’t know she had family,” I said. “She came from a planet that was destroyed. At least, that’s her origin story.”

The captain thought about this for a moment. “So we’re dealing with another super possibly. Maybe they had the same power, and that’s why the disturbance is so great.”

On cue, my tracking system beeped, identifying three flight patterns. That made sense — they both flew in, but she walked away and he flew out.

We assumed the one leading to the city was her path, so we started following the other two. They started off similar and diverged about a mile out. One flew up and the other went out. The captain had his guys search the internet for videos posted of something flying straight up to the sky. They found nothing.

My analysis showed the path up left the atmosphere. Perhaps that was how he arrived. We followed the other path until too much time passed and it dissipated.

The captain asked me for my tracking equipment. I told him this was my only device, but I’d build him another one ASAP. He nodded. I sent an order to my minions to complete it.

Then I went to visit my hero in the hospital.

She wasn’t awake yet. It’d been 12 hours since she showed up at my door. Her bruises were the same — she wasn’t healing faster.

The doctor - who was terrified of me by the way - explained she had broken bones. Her power made her heal slower, the doctor said. It didn’t make sense. But she would be in a concussion-induced coma state until her brain injury healed.

I squeezed her hand gently. “I will find him,” I whispered softly.

Upon returning home I found my house sacked. This wasn’t the first time - cops raid my house with warrants at least once a week. When I’m not home, they always leave the warrant on the counter. But there was no warrant this time.

I gathered my best tech for tracking and fighting and started examining the way the sacking took place. Windows were broken, indicating entrance and exit points, and much of my furniture was upturned away toward a center line. The gravitational pull was off. The bastard flew straight through my house.

At first, I didn’t believe he’d taken anything. My 17 security cameras showed otherwise. He was fast — I had to slow down the cameras frame by frame to catch him, and he only showed up in three frames. I couldn’t get a good look of his face, but he took a medallion off my mantle.

Oh, I thought. That medallion.

It was a platinum medallion the city awarded my hero for helping rebuild after one of my machines accidentally shot off a 7.5 magnitude earthquake. (I didn’t realize we were on a fault line at the time.)

No one else knows this, but I shut off the machine as soon as the earthquake started and was able to reverse its effects to keep the magnitude under an 8.0. I like to inconvenience people, scare them, and sometimes cause them minor pain, but I never intend to kill anyone. (The one time I accidentally did I served years for it.) She knew I fixed my mistake. So she gave me the medallion as a way of saying thanks. We had been kinda friendly, kinda flirty ever since.

Truth be told, I never thought anything of it. Now that I’m thinking about it, maybe she had another reason for giving me the medallion.

Platinum must be her weakness. It would explain why the villain would want to take it from me, so he could subdue her. I called the captain to let him know she was in danger, but he didn’t answer. I left a voicemail and headed back to the hospital.

If she and the villain are related, why wouldn’t the platinum weaken him?

I rushed back to the hospital. She was still not awake. I advised the staff to search her body for platinum shards. Sure enough, the doctor found some in her stomach. He took her to surgery to remove them.

She awoke almost immediately, but still was very dazed and weak. She reached toward me. “Jacob,” she whispered.

I shot the doctor a glare, implying if he said any of this to anyone - not just the possible budding romance but also that platinum is her weakness — I would severely inconvenience him. He nodded and walked out.

“I’m here Eleanor,” I said back, taking her hands. “It was platinum.”

She took a long, slow breath. I felt the room shift as she re-centered herself. Then she smirked.

“I was wondering how long it was going to take you to figure it out,” she said softly. She strained every few words.

I shushed her. “I know. I’m dumb.” I smiled at her warmly. The room shifted again. Then I said, less warmly, “You consumed it.”

She frowned.

“What happened out there Eleanor? The doctors said the man who did this to you had familial relation? I thought your home planet was destroyed…”

Her frown faded to pain. Tears streamed from her eyes.

I wanted to take it all back. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You don’t have to talk about it—”

“No,” she coughed. She paused and took another deep breath. The room shifted again as she summoned her strength. “My planet was destroyed. By my uncle. I got off the planet and came to safety. I thought … he was … destroyed…”

Her heart monitor started racing. “Slow down my dear. You are safe here.”

The room shifted again. Her eyes rolled back.

“Eleanor!” I shouted.

Suddenly the windows shattered. And the villain was there, hovering outside the window. His body was half-melted. But he was still wearing the platinum medallion.

I grabbed her body and rolled us to the floor. Her uncle began pulling everything out of the room. I shuffled us into the hall, trying to get away.

I got us to a concrete stairwell. Eleanor opened her eyes.

“Eleanor?”

She inhaled deeply, coughed, then sat up. She looked at me panicked and I held her tighter.

“Who is he?”

She calmed herself down before answering. “We have the ability to change gravity in a small radius to our liking. It allows us to draw things to us, fly, dodge punches, and such. The more we use it, the more powerful it can become. We typically die before we ever reach our full power.”

“Why hasn’t he?” I asked.

“The gravity on our planet is significantly greater than earth and the rest of space, so it takes more energy to use this power on our home planet. That’s why we tend to die before reaching full power. If someone leaves, they have the ability to make themselves stronger without using as much energy.”

“How come you all aren’t that powerful then?”

“He was the first to leave the planet,” she said. There was a long pause while she reflected and I digested this information. “It was theoretical before, but he proved it true. He’s absorbed so much he’s becoming a black hole.”

“Why doesn’t platinum weaken him like it does you?”

“Have you seen The Princess Bride?”

“Iocane powder?”

“Exactly.”

I pondered this for a moment. “How did he find you?”

“I don’t know, but I met him in peace in that forest because I was going to try to get him to leave this planet alone,” she said. “We had a drink. He must’ve put the platinum shards in it, knowing it would stop me.”

“So how do we beat him?”

“If he becomes a black hole, he will collapse on himself,” she said. “But he will take everything with him. We need to get him to collapse somewhere off-planet.”

She stood, then wobbled over and held her head. The stairwell began collapsing.

I took her into my arms bridal style and began racing down the stairs. We got to the bottom and out an emergency exit before I set her down.

She took a couple steps, preparing to fly away, and fell to her knees.

“You can’t get him into space. You can’t get to space,” I said, unsure if she heard me.

There was a dude standing appalled at the sight of the uncle. He had keys for a Volkswagen in his hand. I picked up Eleanor again, grabbed the guys keys and rushed to steal his car. It worked.

I drove us to my house. My dungeon laboratory (I couldn’t decide what to call it) was in the basement. It had a secret entrance and exit.

I laid her down on what was left of my couch and told her to stay put.

“I can go,” she said, trying to get up.

“No, you’re barely staying awake. You heal. There is no platinum in the house anymore so you should be ok. It’s my turn to be the hero.”

I took the space car through the secret exit in the basement. I drove toward the Uncle, but he paid me no mind. I flashed my brights at him. He turned, saw me, and began to follow. I drove the car to space.

He needed to stop consuming things so he wouldn’t grow so big that his implosion sucked earth in too. But there was a lot of space junk for him to feed on. I kept luring him further away from the planet, but I wasn’t able to get very far.

I turned the car around and aimed missiles right at him. Would this work? I didn’t know.

He ate them. They exploded inside him. The last of his body melted away and everything began pulling toward him faster than I could comprehend.

He was imploding. I hoped we were far enough away for it not to affect Earth.

The medallion did not enter him, like everything else. It stayed put, where his chest would be. Was it weakening him? Was it strengthening him? I didn’t know anymore. I just knew he kept it to stop Eleanor.

The space car and I continued moving toward him, sucked in by the gravitational pull. I accepted my fate and hoped Eleanor was healing.

And then I saw her. She was on the other side of him, arms extended, like she was shielding the Earth from his implosion. I knew then if she found the strength to be here, I couldn’t die. She would fall again from exhaustion and I would have to catch her. Err, she would float from exhaustion and I would have to pull her to safety. We were in space, after all.

I thrusted all engines into reverse and tried to pull away. When it didn’t work, I began calculating how to use the pull to slingshot my car behind her gravitational shield. I theorized that all I had to do was reverse thrust 45 degrees away from the Uncle and then cut it off, and it should snap like a rubber band. Yes, it would push me toward the Uncle, but if I could get behind her shield first then that wouldn’t matter.

I said a prayer and attempted the shot. It failed, but it got me close enough to Eleanor that she was able to pull me toward her, behind the shield. I could see her clearly now. She was straining, veins popping out of her arms and forehead. I had to save her, but there was nothing I could do to stop this. I just had to wait for the Uncle to implode.

The uncle noticed Eleanor then. He shot the medallion off at her, and it struck her in the chest.

She faltered and we both moved toward him. I could hear him laughing chaotically as we approached. I jumped from the car to catch her body. She was stunned but not dead.

The medallion moved back toward him. When she awoke again, she was too dazed to know what was going on.

And then like that it was over. He imploded on himself quickly, still laughing. He was energy now, non-existent. The medallion floated softly in the distance.

Eleanor relaxed. She looked at me softly and kissed my spacesuit, where my cheek would be. She pulled the space car to her. She got in the hatch and into the passenger seat. She stared into nothing for a moment.

“Eleanor?” I said gently.

She looked up. Then she cried. She cried for all that had been lost. I held her tighter.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” she whimpered into my chest.

I pushed her hair back. “Then let’s retire. We can get a nice beach house somewhere.”

She laughed. “Okay.”

So we did.

As a Villain, one night, someone knocks on your door, you open it and there she is, the most famous invulnerable heroine of the city, completely drunk and with many bruises, as soon as you realize who she is, she passes out into you arms.

[belphiesreverie]

hhhh i’m sorry for liking a bunch of your posts in a row but they’re just so good i can’t pause 😭 i just recently got to your genshin masterlist and saw you made a post asking for some more requests :3

if it’s not too late, would you be open to doing yandere hcs of albedo, kazuha and any others that you want where darling kinda finds out about what they’re like and what they’ve been doing so they go on to confront them—would they just admit to it or just lie and be like “no you’re crazy i’m not doing that 😐”? (bonus: darling confronting albedo but it’s fakebedo who’s there instead 😳)

if i missed a post or something explaining that requests were closed then feel free to delete/ignore, i don’t mean to overwhelm you or anything with this!! ^^)

Aaaa tysm, you’re too kind 😭💕💕

I also did Childe, Scara and Ayato bc I loved this prompt for them!

TW: yandere, gaslighting, manipulation

Immediately admits to it but doesn’t seem regretful in the slightest. Although he may try to feign it if it means you’ll forgive him

In all honesty, he probably wasn’t even trying that hard to hide most of what he was doing behind the scenes

He’s always intrigued by any and all reactions you make, and seeing how you’d react to being followed and having close friends disappear was a very interesting pool of information for him

Of course, he hadn’t expected you’d be able to trace them back to him, but your intelligence is something he adores you for

Confronting him about it will get him to stop; he’s gathered all the data he wanted from this little endeavour. But he’ll definitely be replacing this experiment with a new one to gather even more data on you

Immediately admits to it and is apologising profusely before you even finish your accusations

He’d managed to justify his actions to himself throughout the whole ordeal, insisting that he was just protecting you

He needed to walk you home every night, even if you weren’t aware he was there for most of them, just to make sure you got home safely. He needed to threaten those people to stay away from you, they were just going to use and hurt you

But when you confront him yourself, he can’t keep lying to himself about his actions being harmless to you. They caused you stress and paranoia, and it’s all his fault

In the end, his sincere and heartfelt apology will most likely convince you to forgive him and to propose that you put this situation behind you, which he is more than thankful for

Although, you can help but feel that his apology may have been a little less sincere than you’d originally thought…

Gaslight gatekeep girlboss

Let’s not get this wrong, he’s by no means trying to be convincing. No, he knows that he’s been found out and that there’s no convincing you he’s innocent

But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t extremely entertaining to watch you scramble to justify your accusations to him

Besides, no matter if he admits to it or not, there’s nothing you can do about it. He’s a harbinger, nobody is going to voluntarily interfere, especially not against him

So he’s much rather keep this entertaining game of cat and mouse going by denying every accusation you throw at him, all with that cheeky little grin spread across his face

Absolutely refuses to admit it, if only because he’s embarrassed but he’d also refuse to admit to that

You really think that him of all people is so interested in you that he’d go out of his way to personally find out everything about you and follow you around? How narcissistic can you be?

The whole situation turns into a massive argument, with you consistently providing tangible evidence and Scara adamantly refusing every bit of it

Eventually it ends when Scara asks what you’d even be able to do about it. He’s still not admitting guilt, but also lording his status and power over you now. So you drop the topic and leave by asking him to stop

Will he though? Absolutely not. You’ve wounded his pride so much by showing how badly he hid that now he’s going to openly do all the things you’ve accused him of just to remind you who holds the power in this situation

Gaslight gatekeep girlboss 2: electric boogaloo

Unlike Childe though, Ayato is extremely convincing in this situation. He has you doubting all your evidence the moment he starts to respond

It took a lot to build up the courage to accuse the head of the Kamisato clan of stalking you and using his power to get rid of those close to you, but all that courage leaves your body when you see how saddened he is that you’d bring these accusations against him

Of course it wasn’t him. He barely has any time to rest, how could he be following you around every second of the day. He’s a reputable and kindhearted man, he’d never dream of doing anything like that. He doesn’t even need to refute more than one of your claims before you’re the one apologising to him

But he’s so kind, and he understands that you’re clearly shaken by these incidents. Ayato is more than happy to allow you to stay in his estate until you feel safer. He’ll even stay by your side when you want to go out to help ease your worry

— — —

Want to read more? Here’s my masterlist!

Join the discord! We don’t bite 💕

[dejwritesarchived]

✧˖*°࿐ synopsis + warnings — nobody defends a gaslighting man more than his momma ( angst, toxic!ushijima, mentions of kids, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of toxic relationship, heavy mention of postpartum depression, suggestive content, profanity usage, reader implied to black, ushijima is highkey a douche and his mom enables it, he's also not really in the fic..he's mentioned, but this is more a conversation between reader and his mom, )

✧˖*°࿐ an entry for @gabzlovesu f*ck love collab event using the 19th song the tracklist, fourth baby mama.

click here to join taglist. click here haikyuu masterlist.

© 2022 dejwrites, please don’t repost & plagiarize work.

THE DIAPER COMMERCIALS ALWAYS SHOW THE GOOD SIDE OF MOTHERHOOD. The faint smile that creeps on your face when your newborn latch their tiny hand around your finger. The laughter that escapes your mouth when they make a silly face at you as you feed them their first solid foods. And they always seem to show the happy couple looking ever so in love in the commercials, selling a pure fantasy to mothers all around the world. They don’t show crippling fear of going into labor early due to stress. They don’t show the way your body drastically changes after pushing out a baby. And they damn sure don’t sure the depressive state a mother goes through even after giving birth to such a small being that was supposed to bring you joy. Especially when their own father was cheating right under your nose.

You always said to yourself, you’ll choose the perfect man to have a child by. That’s what you thought when you met Ushijima Wakatoshi. You thought you had the fairytale lifestyle of being the fiance of a star volleyball player. You had the ring, you were so close to having the surname, and you gave birth to a child that extended his family heritage.

But that wasn’t enough?

So here you were sitting at a table at the high-class brunch cafe, the weather wasn’t too hot to make you and your son uncomfortable, but it wasn’t too cold to make the two of you shutter either. Dark oversized sunglasses hid your puffy eyes from crying before you came here, another tabloid came out about Ushijima’s wrongdoings and you hated to admit that it made you sick to your stomach. A hot lemon tea sat in front of you as feet rocked at the expensive stroller to soothe your son. You didn’t understand why his mom wanted to meet in the general public, originally you suggested having this talk in the comfort of your own home. Lately, you’ve been questioning if it’s even that.

The house grew cold when he went on the road for away games. The crippling post-partum depression crashes into your body like a car crashing into a wall at full speed. Frankly, if it wasn’t for your best friend, you wouldn’t know where you would be. The staying in bed all day crying with each article about him being seen with a girl that wasn’t you. The binge eating just to puke it back up when he didn’t answer your FaceTime call just to see his newborn child. Your body was going through it and your mental state was dragging you down also.

When you saw his mother, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the sight of her. Designer down all the way to her shoes as she approached the table you were at. She’s giving you some fake smile, cooing down at her grandchild she’s only come to visit maybe once or twice since he’s been born. She slid into the chair across from you, a fake authentic smile on her face.

“Hello, darling, how have you and my grandchild been holding up?” She questioned.

You let out a chuckle. She could have cared less about the two of you. She most definitely was here to beg you to not go to the press about what was going on. Don’t tarnish her precious son's image although he was doing that himself.

“You know how I’m holding up. Did you not read this morning’s tabloid?” You asked.

You watched as the older woman's lips formed a straight line. “I did, I tried calling him but no answer.” She sighed. Her hand went up to flag down the waitress so she can order. “You can toughen it out, I don’t think it’s good to put stress on yourself and the baby.”

“He’s putting stress on my son and me.” You blurted out loud.

“Is he though?”

“Excuse me?”

“Majority of fiance and girlfriends of athletes usually know they’re being unfaithful. Choose to ignore it, not let it stress them out. Just be dumb and foolish for the money,” His mother bluntly admitted.

“So how you’re acting? Dumb and foolish,” You snapped back at her. “He was hardly home when his son was first born, did he tell you that? Or would you have rather done your daily shopping spree with his money,” You argued.

“Listen, I’m just saying. If you decide to leave, do it in a classy manner. No need to tarnish Ushijima’s image with the drama.”

You found yourself kissing at your teeth. Your body radiated so much heat as you stared at your son in the stroller. You should have known she only came here to defend his name, make sure you wouldn’t be vulnerable to the press. The press would have loved a tell it all interview about the mother who’s been getting cheated on.

You yacked your glasses off revealing your puffy red eyes. “I can’t do this anymore. How can you sit here and defend his fuckin’ behavior?” Your hands throwing up in frustration as you sat in front of her. “All because he brought you a new house and that lousy Birkin Bag?” You added motioning to the expensive purse on the table.

“(Y/N) dear, please calm down. You don’t want to give these people an audience.” She huffed as she sipped at her hot latte.

You wanted to knock the cup out of her hand so bad. How could she sit here and question you acting out as if Ushijima wasn’t putting his cock in every other sports groupie? You rubbed at your temple glaring at her, your eyes staring over at your son who was sucking on his pacifier being the perfect little angel he was.

“Ushijima is out being a fuckin’ manwhore and you’re questioning my behavior. You shouldn’t baby him like this and maybe just maybe he would act like a fuckin’ father.” You argued.

His mother sat back in her seat, just watching you hysterically rant. Your words were coming out so harshly, you haven’t spoken so badly about him despite the gossip blogs pestering you to do so. But here you were dragging the father of your child through the mud as if it was nothing. At this point, people that were also sitting outside enjoying their expensive fresh baked goods had taken notice of who you were.

You snatched the engagement ring off your finger, “Since you want to be so far up your son’s ass, give this to him. Tell him my son and I no longer want him in our lives.” You pushed yourself out of your seat. Your body radiating so much heat, you thought you were going to explode.

“You can’t keep my son’s child away from him,” His mother said as she tilted her head at you. “After all, do you know who he is?”

“Watch me, you old conniving bitch.” You spat harshly before collecting your belonging and pushing your son's stroller away.

You had to go home and pack up your stuff. You no longer wanted to see that man, but it hurt so much because when you glanced down at your son he was a spitting image of him.

When you made it home to start packing your stuff, your mind was going through so many things. You turned your phone off due to the notification causing it to constantly buzz. You realized that you no longer wanted to see Ushijima. But it hurt so much because when you looked at your son, he was spitting image of him. Your heart felt heavy and your ring finger felt bare. The diamond ring no longer weighing it down as you packed you and your son's belongings. You finally were getting the courage to leave him. You didn’t need any more of the stress in your life. When your body was weak, it was just a motherly thing that your son felt also. Each item he brought for you, you didn’t even bother to pack it with you. Not wanting the toxic energy to follow you to your newest life.

Your thoughts were interrupted by your best friend who was helping you pack, you held the majority of your son’s clothes. “Uh, there’s this guy at the door asking for you. I think it’s Ushijima’s father.”

Your perfectly arched eyebrows knitted together in confusion. You haven’t heard from the older gentlemen since the first scandalous situation Ushijima put you through. Pushing yourself off the floor to go down to the door, there he stood outside watching the moving company employees you hired put stuff in the back of the truck.

“I’m glad you finally got the courage to leave him.”

You didn’t know what to say, how to respond. Ushijima’s father's response to his behavior compared to his mother’s was the complete polar opposite. Considering Ushijima’s upbringing of his parents being divorced and him leaving with his mom, it didn’t particularly shock you. Frankly, you didn’t even know he was in town considering the last time you and Ushijima spoke, he kinda brushed off your questioning about visiting his father. Both you and Takashi stood in complete silence before he cleared his throat to speak, breaking the unbearing silence between the two of you.

“I’m not going to sit here and apologize for my son’s actions because it’s him that needs to do the apologizing.”

“At this point, I’m over an apology. Frankly, I don’t really want to deal with him right now. I just want to be out of this house before he comes back from off the road.” You answered truthfully.

You watched as Takashi frowned down at you before speaking once again. You never noticed how close the two of you have grown ever since his grandchild was born. Despite living in California, he still took time out of his schedule to FaceTime you to check up on his bub (an adorable nickname he gave the newest member of the family). Other than your mom and best friend, he was the one that listened to you cry in the most absurd way when tabloid after tabloid came out about Ushijima’s behavior. He was an amazing support system despite his son’s wrongdoings.

“I don’t know where I’m going, but I have to get away from here. Our son doesn’t deserve to grow up in a toxic environment like this, as his mother I can’t give that to him,” You told him.

Your curious eyes watched as Takashi was in deep thought.

“Move to California.”

“What? Ushijima finds out I moved overseas with—”

He cut you off quickly, “If he was behaving like the way I raised him, you wouldn’t have to move in the first place. It’ll be a nice new environment for you and my grandchild, which right now is the only thing I’m worried about due to the embarrassing circumstances.”

Your back leaned against the front door as you thought about the options of moving overseas. It would be nice to not be in Japanese tabloids anymore. You gave him a small smile before nodding.

“I like that idea.”

“Good ‘cause if I was to miss my Lil bub first steps, I would literally die.”

✧˖*°࿐ tags — @maydayaisha @fiona782 @warmchick @fairiechuu @gabzlovesu @seyawrld @itzgabz22 @etherealluvrr @caribbeanwifey19 @sindinminpin @bbgiirrll @potterbell @gardenof-venus @chieflawyerpastatoad @nanaminshousewife @plussizeficchick @littlemochi @celi-xxmoon @queenmjp @po3ticb3auty @hw-shorty @sunkissedebony97 @thicksimpx

[flameswallower]

I (not a big CM fan, but enjoyed some of his books and stories) read the post being alluded to quite a while back and, frankly, came away with the initial impression that this guy was a slimy cheater who seriously hurt at least one person, but that the poster was using her hurt to make some Gothic suppositions about the cheater/fuckboy/player mentality. (It was still a deeply disappointing thing to learn, I just simultaneously felt that the appallingness/unusualness/strangeness of what he’d done was being exaggerated, if understandably on the part of a person still struggling with how being deceived and cheated on hurt her.)

But I think this is a reasonable and clear breakdown (I admit I also found the original post a bit difficult to parse and follow in places), and returning to the situation has me revising that opinion. Although I wasn’t Around in the British communist/SFF literary scene of the late 00s and early 10s, I think I can be pretty confident CM wasn’t in a milieu where pretending to be in love with a woman was a compulsory pre-requisite to straight sex, or where it would have been hard for him to find attractive 30ish women who were down for an open relationship, a casual relationship, a one night stand, or polyamory. He’s also clearly not a stupid or unobservant man— he’s not someone who would fail to realize this, or fail to realize the potential ramifications of what he was doing.

So whether it was a properly sadistic thrill (like “oh boy! I love how freaked out people get when you gaslight them!”) or more just the thrill of duping people and getting away with something, it definitely feels like there was something much darker going on for him than “I’m trying to fuck several women, whose feelings I don’t really care much about.” I don’t know that anyone’s ever going to be able to say for sure what that was. It does make me feel appalled by the amount of feminist cred people sometimes give him, though.

Content warning for china mieville. I was wondering if you could help me understand what we’re learning? (I’ll start by saying that I do know this could sound trollish and that you don’t have any reason to trust an anon ask’s motivations, and I’m anon because I’m embarrassed, so I 100% promise that I understand if you don’t have the spoons to deal with me.) Basically I’m wondering what he did? I’ve read a few articles but I feel like there are terrible things between the lines 1/2

that other people are able to read and I’m not. To me it sounds like a bad break up, but I know that wasn’t it, because the feelings they describe are so much worse than that, and I am a 100 percent believe-the-victim person so I’m kind of flailing, because I believe we’re learning something important but also feel like I don’t speak the language they’ve used to warn us, and I feel like everyone else understands

Firstly, don’t feel bad. The reason all this is couched in hearsay and coming from the whisper network is because the perpetrator is a celebrated author who is Real Big in his field. All of this sounds pretty much exactly like what happened with Jian Ghomeshi (abuse, assault). Do you know about him? People ask. And if you are lucky enough to be with a person that thinks you should be warned, you find out. Not everybody has access to this knowledge, or people who have it just assume that you know, because it’s widespread knowledge in the in-group.

Everything I know about this comes from Bidisha’s post (I see she’s taken Mieville’s name off the tag, but his initials remain). My read of the situation is that he pretended to be in love with her. Except when I put it that way it sounds almost innocuous, as opposed to what actually happened:

How crushing to know that your satisfaction came from setting up the trick, using my body for sexual pleasure and a sense of control, playing with my feelings and then seeing how tormented I was, knowing instinctively that something was wrong, while you gazed at me in gentle puzzlement, blinking. How crushing to learn years later that this is what you were doing and are still doing, not just with me but with countless other women. Because of your sadism, Jekyll, I fear you. Because of your hypocrisy and impunity, I fear you. Because of your strength, I fear you. Because you target, use and harm women, I fear you. Because you are such a good actor, I fear you. Because you pretend to be a feminist when you are a man who hurts women, I fear you. How easily you abuse. How assiduously you take. How smoothly you lie. You wanted to deceive, sexually exploit, professionally use, emotionally eviscerate, mislead, sabotage and betray women, and you did.

It sounds to me like he employed mind games, gaslighting, manipulation, deceit on an epic level. It didn’t appear to be about the sex. (Sex is easy for people in positions like his, and I know a lot of people who would have hit that like a screen door in a hurricane. I would have been one of them, once.) 

And to be honest that’s the thing I find most unsettling about it. Sex is easy to understand. You don’t say things like this to people you just want to bang:

You wrote that when I gave you compliments, you read them “with a kind of stuttering shy delight.” You wrote that it was “life-changing, when that door opened.” “Your worst fears about me are not true.” You said, “I have never, in my life, so enjoyed waking up with someone.” “I like how I am with you. I play when I’m with you. I never usually play.” “I love that you notice me - I love that you notice things about me.” “The way you kiss me…” “I’m not a sadist, I’m not a sociopath. I’m not a sadist, I’m not a sociopath.” You texted, “Just got your letter [in reply to mine]. I cannot even believe what you are. Brace for comeback.” “Oh my sweet thing, oh my gorgeous girl.” “Well for a start you’re heart-freezingly, heart-killingly beautiful.” “The taste of you….” “I crackle in your company.” “I love your crackling energy! And I love that you’ve read books and have opinions on things.” “I’m trying not to get obsessed with you.” “I can’t believe you asked me what colour your eyes are! Tch. I see your eyes everywhere.” “I know I have been charged with finding you a nickname but I just keep repeating your real name to myself, over and over.” “I feel filled up with you. You fill me up, Bidisha.” “Have a good day, my taut-skinned doe.” “I have been going around my room smelling all the places you’ve been. I caught myself breathing through the T-shirt you wore like a diver breathing through a regulator. I even considered tying it up in a plastic bag to preserve the smell.” “I’m sorry, I’m smitten. I’m gone on you.”

Reading these, I knew in my bones it was him. I say this as someone who admired his work for years, pored over it, marveled at the way he used the $500 GRE words. 

The way he treated Bidisha is sociopathic: 

And I realised, when you said, “I never told you I loved you. I was very careful about that. I said I adored you - but that’s not love,” that I had been set up.

And she’s not the only one: 

In the years of the aftermath I have confided in too many women who then paled and told me that you had done the same to them, or to a close friend, or colleague. I have learned, with a sickness I cannot put into words, that your mistreatment is not just serial but simultaneous: there is a mass, a morass, a mess of abuse.

I wondered about his monsters, their monstrousness, their specificity, and what they do to people. How does he come up with that stuff, I asked myself. Turns out? Takes one to know one. 

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Yeah, pretty much this exact same thing happened with Nellie, one of Lily’s now VERY much former friends. For the sake of her privacy I don’t want to divulge too many details. But its basically that Lily hated that Nellie was further along/more successful in her transition that Lily was, and this eventually culminated in Lily completely ghosting Nellie and banning/blocking her from her Tumblr blog and Discord Server. Immediately after this Nellie began to post about of toxic and abusive that Lily was to her while they were still ‘friends’ to her own Tumblr blog. And genuinely seemed to be having some sort of breakdown over just how horrible Lily was to be around and all that she could now say now that she was finally free from Lily’s control (Ironically done so by Lily’s own extreme jealousy itself!)

However, Nellie quickly took down ALL of those several posts once LILY began posting her own hitpieces about how Nellie was apparently ‘just a vulture’ and was “never really her friend to begin with”. And basically just encouraging her own audience to go and mob Nellie’s blog with abuse/harassment with the not—so—subtle threat to Nellie that she would become Lily’s new public enemy number one if she DIDN’T quickly take down all of those posts. After that Nellie pretty much cut all ties with Lily and therefore also had to cut ties with (at least) most of her other friends.

Also, to make it absolutely clear, I really don't begrudge Nellie at all for taking down those posts. Lily has a massive audience of rabid fans that will swarm and harass ANYBODY that she tells them to, and I can only imagine how hard it was for Nellie to even stand up to just Lily after she had spent so much time being manipulated and gaslighted by her. I think that those original posts of hers are archived somewhere anyways, but I still want to make it clear that I harbor no ill will towards Nellie whatsoever. That she decided that she wasn’t in a safe position to tell her true experience of being around Lily publicly. I only hope that one day we WILL be able to get her full story of her toxic, abusive friendship with LO.

.....What the fuck??? So we not wrong to say being friends with Lily is like...walking on fucking glass cause you never know when the fuck she'll decide your not friends anymore??? And again, we seeing Lily use her fans against someone she doesn't like....I'm sorry, but people who use their fans to do shit like that is just gross to me and a definite concern for how much power Lily has over her fans.

And yeah, I do hope the same with Nellie, but even if she doesn't want to discuss it ever, I don't blame her. This sounds like a really shit situation to end up in and I do hope she's doing okay now, cause Lily just seems to always want to make sure she is the victim and therefore the real victims get shit from Lily and her fans.