#i was on my way home today and i was just like dreaming this bullshit up

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Days 341 and 342, because I hit post limit last night and didn't feel like scheduling on account of cramps and migraine. Anyway, Triumph is done! Yesterday was the lining and base color, today is the final touches via shading and some minor tweaks.

[ramp-it-up]

... As Hard as I Did

Photo credit

Summary: James Bucky Barnes is an avowed bachelor and one night stand artist. You came along and knocked him on his face. Now he knows he wants more than just one night with you, so much more. Do you feel the same?

Word count: 1.9K

Pairing: Art Dealer (mob boss) Bucky Barnes x Reader

A/N: This fic is connected to the Knock You Down AU, and comes immediately after KYD IV, but I feel it can be read as a stand alone. It is in answer to this ask. Seb Stan's latest pics and this press run is making me feral. I can write these two ALL DAY!!!! Y'all are gonna have to deal with this for a while, sorry not sorry.

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. Read at your own risk. Bucky is in love. The angst! The fluff! The morning after! Bucky wakes you up the best way he knows how, thorough female receiving oral sex, edging, manual sex, teabagging, squirting, nipple play, begging, use of Daddy, bukakke, cum play, Bucky cooks for you, google translate Romanian, the "L" word, allusions to cock riding.

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I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

-----

James Bucky Barnes had slipped and fallen in love.

Steve was so right.

It came out of the blue last Monday when he met with you about a painting, and here he was the very next Sunday morning, holding you in his arms. The ruse of him being a fully legitimate art dealer and not a crime boss had been quickly done away with by the media and your friends, and the fantasy of wooing you met the reality that you did not come to play.

You called Bucky on his bullshit and that made him fall even harder for you. He was honest about his plan to go legit and careful with your feelings, not immediately turning to physicality as he did with every other woman. There was something special about you that was worth the wait.

The five days had been an eternity for both of you, and Bucky had been like a teenager, unable to last very long. He was determined to set that right today, and also to tell you how he felt.

Bucky Barnes knew very little fear, but wondering if you returned his feelings was shaking him to the core.

He held to his original dream of making you smile at him forever, but those dreams had grown to thoughts of a life together, a home you could build together, and the thought of what kids together might look like.

Bucky smiled and held you closer as you snuggled deeper into his embrace and threw your leg over his hip. He caressed the soft skin of your thigh as he argued with himself. He was too old for this; he would be an old man when your kids were just going to college, but that didn’t stop him from making Steve go with him to Cartier yesterday after your event.

Steve grumbled, but he was still smitten with you from his conversation with you yesterday, so he didn’t protest the 5 carat purchase that Bucky made. His best friend just asked Bucky some pertinent questions like:

Had Bucky told you that he loved you?

Did you love him?

Did you even want to get married? To a criminal?

Did you want to have kids with Bucky?

Bucky just stared at Steve, creating the opportunity to goad him.

“But all that aside. If you don’t lock her down, I just might. I’ll close the deal swiftly.”

That left Bucky’s blood to boil while he prepared for dinner last night, but when he opened the door and saw you standing there, every negative vibe left his vicinity.

And now, you were here, warm and beautiful, and naked, in his grip. He was going to take full advantage of the few hours you might gift him today. He didn’t want to risk you running away after he told you his feelings.

He lifted your thigh and positioned himself most where he needed to be.

—--

You moaned in your sleep. You dreamed that Bucky was eating you out again, but you couldn’t quite feel his kisses and slurps to your folds, only whispers of sensation, like air. It was so frustrating, so you grabbed Buckys’ hair and scratched his scalp, trying to encourage him to be rougher.

He moaned and you smiled, calling his name.

“James, please….”

Your eyes fluttered open to the unfamiliarity of Bucky’s bedroom in the morning light. Your legs were spread wide and Bucky’s head was pillowed on your thigh, his hot breath teasing your pussy. 

“What are you doing?”

You looked down to see him staring at your most intimate parts and smiling.

“Mmmm. Good morning Frumoasă. I’m about to check an item off my long list of what I want to do to you…”

He pursed his lips and softly kiss your lower ones. You shivered and continued playing in his hair. You laughed, music to Bucky’s ears. He smiled up at you.

“Oh, so you have a list, do you?”

“Yes, an extensive one at that. I will show you later, but right now…”

Bucky moved to kneel and shoved his hands under your ass, serving you up to him as on a platter. His eyes moved from your fluttering cunt up your soft belly and your beautiful breasts to your face. He leaned forward to give you a sound smack on the lips.

“I was wondering if I was going to get a good morning kiss.”

That eyebrow arched and he moved down your body again.

“That’s all in my plan, Frumoasă. Just be patient. ”

You pulled Bucky’s hair as his long, thick tongue licked through you to your soul. You shuddered and Bucky smiled, then those lips took hold of your clit and sucked ruthlessly as he brought one hand up to push two fingers inside you, the squelch of your wetness so gloriously obscene. He stopped and just pumped those fingers inside you, listening.

“Hear how wet you are for me? It’s a dream come true.”

You reached with grabby hands for him to stimulate your clit as all he did was fuck you with his fingers and hold you open for him. You were on the edge of madness. And it seemed that was where Bucky wanted you.

“Jamie….”

“Atât de nerăbdătoare Frumoasă. savurați momentul.”

Somehow, you knew he was telling you to wait. 

“Please, please, please James. Eat your pussy please!”

Bucky’s eyes rolled back into his head. You begging was his weakness, what he wanted to hear from since day one. Then he realized what you’d said.

“... Did you say… that this pussy was mine?”

You smirked at him, feeling the brat.

“Maybe…”

Bucky frowned and slapped your clit, causing sparks of pain and pleasure to roll up your spine and wetness to gush out over his fingers.

“Ow! Yes! Yes! This pussy is yours, Daddy, please eat it.”

Bucky clenched his jaw and his cock, which was hard against his abdomen, jumped.

“Seems you know the magic words, Frumoasă.” 

Bucky rewarded you with his mouth clamped over your clit and his eyes locked on yours as you watched his tongue working in his jaw. He was eating you out like a professional. You arched into his face, clit hart and throbbing, ready to give him…

He pulled away as you gasp/screamed in outrage, then whimpered and pouted.

“Please Daddy!”

“Oh, you’re ruining me, I can tell. But tell me, Frumoasă, tell me…”

He regarded you now with a new possessiveness. Impossibly, it made you wetter.

“What else of yours is mine?”

You squirmed under his attention and he rewarded you with another finger in your cunt and all three curled against that electric spot within you.

“What about this ass?”

His pinky bullied into your tighter hole, and you arched as he leaned down to suck your clit like saltwater taffy.

“Oh shittttttt! Yes! Fuck yessss.”

Bucky was grinding his cock against the sheets now, possessed by the sight, taste, and feel of you in his hands. He could actually taste that you were close now, and he wanted it almost as much as you did, but he abandoned you again. He looked up at your body.

“What about those glorious tits?”

He reached up to pluck both of them of them ruthlessly over and over as he continued to finger fuck you. His breath was ragged and his face a mask of desire, but he still had a modicum of control.

“They are next on my list.”

“W-what do you mean?” 

You were thrilled and scared at the same time.

“Nu-ți face griji pentru ea frumos, doar ai răbdare.”

And his face was busy again between your legs, which were shaking around his ears. He held one down with one hand as he fucked you with the other.

“Shit, Daddy! I’m gonna….fuck! I’m gonna…”

Bucky nodded and looked up at you, then he told you to cum with his fingers and you shattered, gushing into his mouth and all over his bed.

Bucky leaned up and groaned as he played in your wetness, using that hand to begin to jack himself over your shuddering body.

“Can I come all over you, Frumoasă?”

“Yes, Daddy…”

Bucky groaned and then manhandled your nipples.

“Cum all over me, Jamie.”

Then he roared as you moved so that you could suck his balls.”

��Holy, shhhhhhitttttttt!”

You were circling your own clit as the first hot drops of his cum sprayed over your already heated body. You came one more time as he focused on your breasts and left a hot, sticky mess all over you.

Your eyes were closed as your shivered because Bucky’s hot mouth was sucking his spend off your nipples. He alternated between kisses, bites, and laps against your skin.

“James! Gotdamn! I–”

“I know, I know, Frumoasa. But I can’t get enough...suportă-mă, iubito…”

—---

Later that Sunday, around noon, you sat, twice showered, marked, edged, and fucked to within an edge of your life as you ate the brunch that Bucky made you. You were ensconced in one of his plain white tee shirts and some of his boxer briefs and socks, and he was looking at you hungrily.

You laughed.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Bucky smirked, happier than he’d been in a good while.

“Do you want more…?”

Despite the debauched things you’d spent the morning doing, you blushed and looked down at your plate. You felt like a slut. But in a good way. You loved sex with Bucky. It seemed like even his pleasure was focused on you. It was unlike any other relationship you’d ever had.

“I’m sorry. Do you regret it?”

Bucky stopped eating and tipped your head up by your chin with his fingers. He looked worried and you melted. You bit your lip and decided to go for it.

“No. Because I love you.”

Bucky’s fork clattered to his plate and his eyes grew wide while your bright smile faded. Then he frowned.

“Fuck.”

He looked mad.

“I- I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s too soon. I’m sorry, just forget that I said that.”

“No! Shit…”

Bucky grabbed your head and kissed you, the strawberries and cream from the waffles flooding your senses as his tongue found yours. When he was done, he grinned at you.

“I was pissed for a second, but not at you. What you just said is all I’ve ever wanted. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you that I love you, too and here you are, saying it first.”

You rolled your eyes, although your soul soared. You pulled away and took another bite of food.

“It’s not a competition, James.”

You said it through a full mouth.

“Hmmmm. Maybe not. But I do love you more.”

He took another, bigger bite of food and you shook your head at him.

“You are insufferable.”

Bucky grinned.

“Get used to it if you’re gonna be my girl.”

“Your girl? Oh?”

Bucky wiped his mouth, then picked you up and placed you on his lap.

“Y/N L/N. I love you. And I want to figure this thing out between us. I want you to be my girlfriend while I figure out how to be the best man for you. Then maybe… “

You stopped him with your finger on his lips.

“Listen. One step at a time, Jamie. I love you too, James Buchanan Barnes. You are the best man for me. My man. I’m along for the ride.”

Bucky kissed you, then stood up and threw you over his shoulder as he moved to his couch.

“Speaking of riding. There’s my list to attend to.”

You screamed and laughed as Bucky slapped your ass. 

——

Next part Here!

All feedback is golden, babies! Let me know how you feel. ✨

[hwamphwamp]

i wished for you // choi jongho

a/n: meant to write a little something for Jongho's birthday and wouldn't you know it, I forgot every time I thought about it. I wrote this sappy shit while taking one of the longest baths of my life today so enjoy!

genre: fluff

word count: 848

warnings: none really outside of the mention of alcohol/being drunk? a little lovesick bullshit here?? a little self-indulgent fluff there???

———————————————————————————

It wasn’t uncommon for you to return home from work to find a voicemail from Jongho waiting for you. In fact, the two of you had been engaged in a playful game of voicemail tag for the past week and a half, navigating the challenges of time differences and your hectic schedules. Yet, even though you would have preferred to hear his voice directly, there was something comforting about receiving those little snippets of him—like a sweet surprise at the end of a long, dreary day.

Most of his voicemails were usually straightforward—brief updates about his day, questions about yours, the usual exchanges that kept you connected across the miles. But tonight’s voicemail was much different.

“Ok, so I know we just got to the point of saying ‘I love you’ recently,” he began, a playful tone to his voice as though he was already aware of how this might sound. "So I hope this doesn’t freak you out, but I’m a weeeee bit drunk." You could picture him grinning sheepishly, the way he always did when he was nervous or about to say something he thought might make you laugh. He continued, “And when the guys had me blow out the candles on my cake tonight, I wished for you."

You paused when you heard those words. "I wished for you." It sounded so simple, but it carried a weight you weren’t expecting. He already had you—what more could he wish for? The thought lingered for a moment before he quickly clarified, his tone a little softer now, a touch more serious.

"Not like... I didn't actually wish FOR you. I already have you, duh." You couldn’t help but smile at that, imagining the playful roll of his eyes as he said it. "But I wished for you to always be with me, which is so stupid because I know you could never just drop everything and run around the world with me." His voice dipped slightly, as if he was wrestling with the reality of the situation, acknowledging how far-fetched his wish really was. And yet, there was something so genuine about the way he said it, something so heartfelt that it made your chest tighten.

He paused for a moment, as though he was trying to gather his thoughts or maybe second-guessing whether he should keep going, but then he pushed on. “But still, I wished that by some miracle we could just be alone together for the rest of our lives.”

That’s when the weight of his words really sank in. He wasn’t just talking about wanting you by his side during the fun, easy moments. He was talking about the kind of deep, unwavering connection where nothing—no job, no obligation, no distance—could ever come between you. It was the kind of wish you made when you’re so completely in love with someone that you can’t imagine a life without them.

In his slightly tipsy, vulnerable state, he was letting you in on something raw and real: the dream of having you all to himself, of being able to live in a world where it was just the two of you, free from the chaos of everyday life. It was the kind of wish that, while impossible, was filled with so much love and longing that it made your heart ache a little. He knew it wasn’t realistic—he even said so—but that didn’t stop him from wishing for it anyway. There was something achingly romantic about that.

Then came the part that made you smile the most: “Did that make sense?” You could practically hear him blushing on the other end of the line, embarrassed by how open he had just been, how he had let his guard down completely. And before you could even process everything he’d said, he wrapped it up with a quick, “It’s ok, love you, goodnight,” like he needed to get the last few words out before his courage faded.

That voicemail—just a simple, drunken message—felt like you were getting to peek through a window that lead straight to his heart. It wasn’t just about the words “I love you” that you’d both recently started saying; it was about the kind of love that made him wish, without hesitation, that you could always be together. His wish wasn’t about material things or fleeting moments. It was about living a life where it was just the two of you, lost in your own little world.

Sure, he laughed it off a bit, tried to make it seem like it was no big deal, but you knew better. There was something so sincere, so deeply affectionate in his words that you couldn’t help but feel your heart swell as you listened. It wasn’t just the alcohol talking—this was him, unfiltered, admitting that he couldn’t imagine his life without you in it, and wishing that somehow, you’d never have to be apart.

No matter what, you were determined to make his birthday wish a reality. After all, it was your wish too, and you’d tell him that as soon as his hangover subsided the next day.

[irisintheafterglow]

Lavender Haze (pro!bakugo katsuki x you)

summary: your relationship with dynamight had just gone public, and you need a little verbal affirmation that you two will make it out okay

word count: 1k

cw/tags: very mild angst/comfort, mostly just affectionate katsuki fluff, swearing/profanity wouldn't be a bakugo fic without it, suggestive if you squint, reader is also a pro hero, pet names (babe, stupid, dumbass)

note: i love writing stubborn katsuki banter with an equally stubborn reader who's just used to his antics. domestic katsuki just makes me adhfsjfdfjsgjk, yk? enjoy!

likes/reblogs/feedback are always appreciated!!

You heard the key turn in the door down the hallway and finally put down your phone after scrolling through Twitter for hours. They’d been particularly ruthless today, ripping into your relationship and theorizing that he didn’t even love you. The room was dark and the thought of faking sleep crossed your mind, but you knew he’d sense you were still awake. So, you wait for him to slip off his gauntlets and tug off his boots and find you in your shared bedroom. 

“Babe?”

“Here, Kats.” He lays down beside you, and you’re so mentally exhausted that you don’t even scold him for slipping into bed dirty from patrol. You let him pull you into his arms and inhale deeply against his chest.

“Why are you still awake?”

“Was waiting for you to come home.”

“Bullshit. You fall asleep hours before I’m off shift.”

“Maybe tonight’s just different, then.”

“Are you gonna tell me what’s different?” 

“Do I need to?”

“Yeah, you’re starting to worry me.” 

“I’m just… scared.” His body tenses around you, scarlet eyes searching your face with concern. 

“What’s wrong? What happened?” 

“Nothing happened, not yet, at least. I’m just…”

He thinks for a moment, and you can’t help but stare in wonder at how beautiful he is when the gears in his brain turn. “They’re getting to you again.”

“How did you know?” Of course, he figured it out; he always seemed to be able to know exactly what you were thinking and verbalize it in a way that you couldn’t. 

“Because I love you, stupid, and I know your mind like it was my own.”

“They just, they think I’m using you, Kats, or that I don’t love you, or that this is all a PR stunt by my agency–” Your voice starts to shake on its own, and you push back against the frustration welling up in your eyes. 

“Your manager isn’t smart enough to do that.” A finger comes down to brush a stray hair from your face as you glare up at him. He’d been wanting you to hire a new manager for months or simply merge with his agency, but you wanted the social media firestorm to die down first before any big public moves. 

“Bakugo Katsuki.”

“What? You know I’m right.”

“Not the point.”

“You need to stop reading through Twitter, baby. You really trust some assholes on the Internet over the man of your dreams?” He smirks down at you and draws spirals on your shoulder with his fingers, leaving tingling sensations in their wake. He knew just how to make you feel better, and it was one of your favorite things about him. The way he balanced crude humor with reassurances that you needed and small acts of affection distracted your brain from spiraling any further.  

“Okay, man of my dreams, I get it. Could you just say it?” He brushes his thumb over your bottom lip absentmindedly. 

“Say what?”

“You know, the thing. Please.”

“Oh, right.” Understanding washed over his face, and you caught a little bit of underlying impatience that made you feel a little guilty for asking. 

“Did you forget?”

“Of course not. I just wish I didn’t have to keep telling you that I’m not going to leave you because of some fuckfaces on the Internet making up rumors. I trust you, you trust me, and no one else’s bullshit matters.” He shrugs a toned shoulder and returns to dragging his fingers over your body, running his hands in the creases and dips that he’s memorized on you. 

You roll your eyes. His encouragement was effective, but you couldn’t help but huff out a laugh at the expletives thrown into this round of verbal affirmation. “That’s more aggressive than last time, Kats.”

“It’s an upgrade,” he grins, gently squeezing the flesh around your hips. He got more handsy when he was deliriously satisfied, not that you were complaining. “Next time you get anxious that I’d do something stupid like break up with you, I’m gonna tell Shoto to buy Twitter and ban you from it.” 

“Bold of you to assume he would listen to anything you say.”

“Bold of you to assume I don’t know where he and his entire family lives,” he whispers innocently, pressing his lips to your forehead. His fingers brush up and down the sides of your neck and shoulders, sending chills running through your limbs. 

“Kats–”

“I’m kidding…” He drawls and flashes a cruel grin. “Kinda.” 

“Okay, high school asshole Katsuki, get out of my bed and shower. You’re all sweaty and sticky and yuck.” You push against his chest to no avail. 

He pouts, grabbing hold of your wrists and having you pinned against your bed in one fluid motion. “I thought you loved it when I was sweaty and sticky and yuck.” Strands of blonde hair fall onto his forehead and brush against yours as he leans down to brush his lips against yours. He’d never looked so beautiful.

“Not when I’m trying to sleep.”

He pulls back abruptly, looking at you skeptically. “You weren’t trying to sleep shit, babe.” 

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Neither does spiraling over idiots on a stupid fucking bird app.” Fortunately, your body’s awareness of Katsuki’s hands had put the hate tweets you read in the furthest corner of your mind.

“You made your point, like, three points ago.”

His head dips back down to kiss a trail down your collarbone. “Yeah, but sometimes your dumb ass doesn’t listen.”

“You can’t resist this dumb ass.”

He bites down gently where your shoulder meets your neck and you jump, his chuckle buzzing against your skin. “Nope. It’s a plague.” Any more of his body on yours was set to be a disaster, so you attempt to halt his advances before you’re further entangled with each other. 

“Take a shower, Kats.”

He leaves one more chaste kiss on your nose. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” You sigh and wait for him to release your wrists, but he gives you a pointed look like you’d responded incorrectly. 

“I. Love. You.” God, he’s such a brat. 

You press a kiss up to his forehead and he closes his eyes in contentment. “I love you more.”

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[wildernessuntothemselves]

Heaven is not fit to house a love (like you and I) | Part 4

Word Count: 6.1k

Genre: smut, angst, fluff

Summary: When you first met your boyfriend, it was love at first sight. No, more than that. It was love before you even met. It felt like you had known each other in another life and were meant to find each other again. 

But that's not actually true, is it? You and Beomgyu don't actually know each other from another life, and the dreams you've been having aren't memories of your past life either. That's ridiculous. 

But then why does Beomgyu get so defensive about them? And why does each dream feel more real than the one before? 

A/N: this is the sequel to my series YAMQN but I'm trying to write it in a way that it would be comprehensible to people who have never read YAMQN. The parts in italic are the dreams. 

Warnings: fem!reader, breast play, humping, slight somnophilia, switch!reader, switch!beomgyu, mentions of past rape, yandere!beomgyu, reader gaslighting herself

He is lying on his side with his arms wrapped around you, staring at you, while you lay on your back, one hand on his arm draped over your chest and your eyes staring up at the ceiling. You’ve been lying like this since your alarm went off, waking you so you can start getting ready for work, though you think Beomgyu may have been awake even earlier. 

Your middle finger traces a small line over a vein on the back of his arm, feeling the warmth there as if you can feel his life’s blood. His grip on you is steady, confident, and he never takes his eyes off you. 

“Don’t you get tired of it?” You ask softly, voice heavy with sleep. You don’t elaborate on what you mean, and Beomgyu doesn’t ask for it. 

“No.” Comes his quick reply. ”Because just being here with you like this… It makes it all worth it.” 

You finally turn to look at him, and your heart swells up in your chest. You love him so much. Despite everything, you love him.  

“Call in sick for me.” You tell him and he jumps at the opportunity, not hesitating for a second. He grabs your phone and dials your work, making up some bullshit story about you being sick and needing to stay home. You’re usually a dedicated worker despite the grief Beomgyu brings you–because of the grief Beomgyu brings you. The harder he makes it for you, the more you want to hold onto your job because it gives you independence from him and prevents you from being completely codependent on each other the way you know he desires and the way you find yourself secretly wishing you were when things get very tough and all you can think about is being wrapped up by him, protected and cared for and safe from the horrible, cruel world that causes you so much pain and suffering. Because why go out there to fight every day when you can be with him and let him take care of everything? 

But then you force yourself to push these thoughts away and act like a grown-up because despite your immense love for Beomgyu, you're not stupid enough to hang your entire future on a man in this day and age. Yes, he loves you but you’re sure all the women who made that mistake before you were also in love. Or at least you like to think you're not that stupid…But for today you’ll let him win. For today you’ll see what the alternative is. 

Beomgyu ends the call with your boss with a toothy smile on his face. He looks excited, like you’ve given him the best present ever and he jumps back in to take you in his arms, kissing the side of your face. 

“What do you want to do today?” He asks and you shrug, throwing the question back to him. “What do you want to do?” 

“I just want to be with you.” He admits and your heart clenches. 

“Let’s eat first. I’m starving” You tell him and he’s so excited he doesn’t even whine at your lack of reply to his loving proclamation. 

________________________________

Beomgyu makes sure to make the food for you. He keeps apologizing for not having a lot of materials to work with and lamenting the fact that he can’t make this dish or that dish as if you were expecting some extravagant feast. 

“Beomgyu, it’s just breakfast.” You reassure him but he shakes his head. “I want to give you the best. Do you want to go eat out? There is this really good restaurant 20 minutes away.” 

When he tells you the name of the restaurant, you frown. “Isn’t that place really expensive?” 

He shrugs. “Only the best for my princess.” 

You shake your head. “I don’t need something fancy, Beomgyu. Pancakes are fine.”

He frowns at that, seemingly upset that you don’t want the expensive restaurant. What’s the deal with him? Sometimes you think he dislikes that you don’t want him to spend his money on you. 

Still, in order to make him stop fretting, you say, “Being with you is enough.”  

That makes him light up, and he is suddenly content with pancakes too. 

“It looks nice outside. Maybe we can pack up some lunch and go for a picnic?” You suggest and he perks up even more. “Yeah. We've got some cold cuts I can make into sandwiches and we can grab some cupcakes or muffins on the way.” 

He sounds very excited about getting to spend the day like this with you and it makes you both happy that you've made him so excited by such a small thing but also sad that he has probably been feeling a bit neglected by you recently as you pulled away from him due to everything that’s going on with the dreams and Taehyun.

Well, today you'll make it up to him. Today, you'll set all your worries aside and just enjoy the day with your loving boyfriend. 

“Sounds good.” 

___________________________________

Beomgyu made way too much food for the picnic and he insisted on preparing everything all by himself, wanting to pamper you. Maybe he himself also feels guilt over not stopping when you asked him to but in a way that makes you feel even worse. He didn’t know that you were serious and you’re no stranger to playfully whining for the other to stop when you’re messing around–even you have done it to him before–so you understand why he didn’t immediately stop. He must feel awful about it. You may be having issues with Beomgyu but that doesn’t mean that he would ever hurt you in that way. You’re his entire life and it's unfair to him to be having these disturbing thoughts, even if you can't control them. 

Maybe you just need to agree on a safe word so this doesn’t happen again… if you can even get yourself to get over your irrational trepidation every time you think about having sex with him now that is. 

“Beomgyu, I can feed myself.” You roll your eyes when he tries to put a sandwich to your mouth and push his hand away, feeling an uneasy sense of deja vu at the action. For some reason, the most random actions you or Beomgyu do feel like something you’ve done before. Every moment feels like you’ve lived it before and it’s freaking you out. You secretly worry that you’re losing your mind. 

He pouts, looking deflated at the small rejection. “I know. I just want to take care of you.” 

“I don't need you to take care of me.” You say again and he puts the food down, looking even more dejected at that. 

You sigh and open your arms. “Come here, Gyu.”

He eagerly gets into your embrace, laying his head down on your chest and letting you wrap your arms around him. 

You kiss the side of his head, breathing in his scent and feeling it soothe your anxiety like a healing balm. “I don't need all of this. I just need you. The you that I love, and not this crazy possessive guy that scares me.” 

“And I only ever want you.” He looks up at you, his eyes sad. “If I can be sure that you'll only ever be mine, I wouldn't act so crazy.” 

You want to argue with him, get angry that he's asking you to prove your loyalty to him as if you had cheated on him, but you also know that what you feel for Taehyun isn't completely innocent and it would be hypocritical of you to act like his worries are completely irrational. 

You sigh, looking at the park around you. You were at one of your favorite parts by the lake. Though it is a little hard to enjoy with so many people around, kids screaming and guys jokingly cussing each other out. You wish it would just be you and Beomgyu here. 

“You know these grounds once belonged to the royal family.” You tell Beomgyu, “Imagine having all this beauty to yourself. Wouldn't that have been wonderful?”

“I suppose so.” He mumbles unenthusiastically but you keep going. “Their lives must've been so easy. Eating good food, dressing in fancy clothes, sipping tea in their huge ass gardens…”

“I'm sure they had their struggles.” Beomgyu interjects and you snort. “Yeah right. Their struggles of where to spend all that money.”

“They didn't control their own decisions. They were trapped in what everyone else expected of them. They didn't choose what to wear, who to hangout with, what they want to do with their lives or even who to marry.”

Beomgyu's sudden speech gives you pause. “Damn I didn't know you were so passionate about royal life.”

Is he saying that because he wants to discourage you from talking about the prince dreams again? Well, you weren’t planning to mention them to him anymore, not after how twisted and ugly they’re become. 

He falters, seeming to realize how odd it was for him to get worked up over your silly complaints. “It's just… things aren't always what they seem.” 

“I suppose. I mean I hear that their lives were filled with deceit and betrayal, like killing each other for power and shit. I'd rather be poor and alive, thanks.” You finally say to lighten up the mood and he smiles, thankfully playing along. “I want you alive too.”

“How romantic.” You roll your eyes and he laughs. “I admit it's not one of my best lines.” 

“Well, good thing I got you some love poems to learn from.” You declare, pulling out the book you brought along to the picnic. 

“You just want to hear my sexy ass voice narrating your favorite poems.” He calls you out and you don’t even try to deny it. “Guilty. What, I can't take advantage of my sexy boyfriend?” 

“You can take advantage of me all you want, baby.” He says greasily and you pretend to gag. “Stick to the poems, loverboy. Don't waste your voice on these corny lines.” 

“Yes, princess.” He grins, grabbing the book from your hand and flopping his head on your lap so you can play with his hair while he reads your favorite poems.

Sitting there, with the love of your life in your arms, his deep voice reading out words of love and longing from the most gifted poets and writers of the world, you feel lucky. How could you not when those words that have moved millions over decades and centuries, driving them to long for a love just like that, feel like your reality. 

The love you have with Beomgyu is what those poems are written about. Yes, it can be dark and scary, but it can also be so, so beautiful. Just like now, with him sneaking glances at you in between every proclamation of love and adoration he reads off, as if his eyes can’t help but jump to you at every reminder, seeking the sight of the exact love they’re reading about.   

Yes, doing this was the right choice. You feel so happy and content right now, the sunshine beaming down at the both of you and warming up your skin can’t even compete with the internal warmth and love you feel holding Beomgyu at this moment. This is perfect. This is where you belong. And this is just what he’s trying to make sure lasts right? He acts crazy sometimes because he knows this love is too rare and special to lose, right? 

But the feeling of peace and happiness doesn’t last forever, and an unexpected gloom arrives in the form of one of your favorite poems–Annabelle Lee. Sure, it’s a sad and deeply moving poem but you didn’t anticipate the way it was going to affect Beomgyu. 

It all starts off normally, his rich voice setting the perfect tone for the beautiful poem as you play with his soft locks, running them through the fingers of one hand while the other gently massages his scalp. 

It was many and many a year ago,

In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

By the name of Annabel Lee;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me.

You smile to yourself as you look down at Beomgyu. It’s funny how that’s just what you were thinking–that all that matters is the love you share between the two of you. You bend down to press a kiss to his forehead, and giggle at the way he unconsciously lifts his head up to get closer to your lips. 

I was a child and she was a child,

In this kingdom by the sea:

But we loved with a love that was more than love—

I and my Annabel Lee;

With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven

Laughed loud at her and me.

Then he hesitates, pausing as he reaches the last line, and you have to nudge him gently to get him to keep going. You see his eyebrows knit together in a perturbed frown but he continues for you. 

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,

Went laughing at her and me—

Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,

In this kingdom by the sea)

That the wind came out of the cloud by night,

Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

You try to smoothen the lines that formed between Beomgyu’s thick eyebrows but even another kiss to the troubled lines are of no use as his focus was now entirely on the book in front of him. His anxiety was palpable and infectious, and a strange sense of doom creeps up on your protective bubble. 

But our love it was stronger by far than the love

Of those who were older than we—

Of many far wiser than we—

And neither the laughter in heaven above,

Nor the demons down under the sea,

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:

Beomgyu's voice turned hoarse and patchy as he carried on, and you feel a prickling at the back of your throat as a profound and all consuming grief that you've never felt before and don’t think you have the capacity to contain threatens to engulf you. You hold onto him tighter, suddenly terrified. It’s silly. You’ve read this poem more times than you can remember, and sure it always moved you and made you sad, but it never caused you such gut-wrenching pain as it was doing right now. Whatever misery the poem was triggering in Beomgyu was transferring directly to you through your skin and suddenly the poet was Beomgyu and you were Anabelle Lee–he’d lost you and you can only sit there and watch him suffer and waste away as he cries over you. 

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,

In her sepulchre there by the sea,

In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Beomgyu's voice breaks completely as he utters ‘my life and my bride’ and by the time he finishes the poem, he is openly crying. You’re crying too, and hugging him tightly to you. You’re sure you’re both making quite the spectacle of yourselves but you don’t care. You hold him so tightly your fingers turn white and numb, and he does the same. The sense of loss that is filling you up is so intense and vivid, it's as if you've lived it. You’re scared that if you let him go, you’ll be taken away from him just like in the poem. 

“Why–” He sobs into your chest, his cries rattling your already injured heart. “Why did they have to be ripped apart?” 

“I don't know, baby.” You bend down to kiss his sweet lips, not really knowing what to say but wishing to calm him down–calm yourself down and try to shake off the irrational fear that something like this is going to happen to you. “Sometimes life is just cruel.” 

“No. I can't accept that.” He says resolutely, sitting up to face you and reaching out to hold your face in his hands. “Promise you'll never let anyone or anything take you away from me.”

“Beomgyu–” 

“Please…” His voice shudders as he tries to speak through his tears. “I can't lose you.” 

“Oh, baby.” You sigh, reaching out to wipe the sparkling tears off his face. Oh, how you'll say and do anything for this beautiful boy. 

“I promise.”

_______________________________

When you get back to work the following day, Taehyun corners you in the back room as soon as he gets the chance. 

“Hey, are you okay?” He asks with concern in his voice and you look at him in confusion. “Yeah, why?” 

“You called in sick yesterday.” His eyes narrow, already suspicious. 

“Oh, right.” You remember Beomgyu calling in sick for you, and you try to brush off his concern. “Yeah, I’m fine.” 

But Taehyun doesn’t let your small slip up pass, now probably convinced there was some malicious reason behind your absence. “Are you sure? Beomgyu didn’t do anything weird, did he?” 

His question pisses you off, perhaps because you already feel so guilty towards Beomgyu for your unjustifiable aversion to being physical to him because of your dreams, but you certainly don’t want Taehyun to think Beomgyu is abusing you or something. “No, he didn’t. He took care of me all day yesterday.” You say sharply and Taehyun winces, realizing he has gotten off on the wrong foot with you and that you’re no longer tolerant of him denigrating your boyfriend’s image to you. 

“I’m sorry.” He quickly backs down, which is unusual for him, and you feel a twinge of sorrow for going off on him like that. He was just worried about you, but still, he was inadvertently part of the reason you and Beomgyu are having issues and you can’t help but feel frustrated and resentful about that.

“Whatever.” You try to brush him off and get back to the main work area but he is not done talking. 

“I shouldn’t have said what I said.” He goes on, stopping you in your tracks and you sigh. You know exactly what he’s talking about. “No, you shouldn’t have.”  

"Can we start over?" 

You stare at him, seeing the hope in his eyes and it brings you nothing but pain. “I’m not sure we can.” 

Maybe in another world you and Taehyun may have been something–in a world where you met him before you met Beomgyu, maybe. But you would be acting wilfully ignorant if you went back to your budding friendship with Taehyun. Because you know it upsets Beomgyu. Because you know it wouldn’t be just an innocent friendship and that there is more at play here. You need to nip it all in the bud before it grows out of control and suffocates your actual, real relationship with Beomgyu. 

You’re loyal to your boyfriend. Whatever strange and inexplicable feelings you hold for Taehyun should be abandoned and forgotten, and they can’t be if you keep being such buddies-buddies with him. 

His face falls at your response and you think you can detect an edge of anger to his voice. Why the hell is he angry? He has no right to be upset with you for setting boundaries in order to protect your relationship. “I was out of line. I get it. I swear it won’t happen again.” 

“It can't.” You affirm, getting angry yourself. “I'm dating Beomgyu. I love Beomgyu.”

Though Taehyun is usually good at managing his facial expressions, you can clearly see the way his face twists in pain at your proclamation. This is exactly why you have to stay away from each other. 

“I know that.” He says through gritted teeth. “Believe me I don’t want to be having these feelings as much as you do, but I can’t control it. There is something drawing us together and I know you can feel it too.” 

“Oh, come on, Taehyun, now you sound delusional like me.” You scoff, berating yourself as much as him. You’ve let this delusion get too far. “Next thing you’ll be saying you’re having dreams of us in a past life too.” 

“Don’t mock me.” He scowls, the hurt still plainly clear on his face no matter how hard he’s trying to hide it with his unjustifiable temper. 

You sigh again. This is not a fight you want to get into. It’s over. You have to end this. “I am not mocking you. But I can’t let whatever this is ruin what I have with the man I love.” 

At that, Taehyun turns and walks away wordlessly, and a deep wound opens up in your chest as you watch him leave. You do your best to ignore it. Just as suddenly and inexplicably these feelings developed for Taehyun, you’re sure they will pass away and everything will return back to normal. This is all just a result of the doubts that have been plaguing you about Beomgyu. It’s just your mind coming up with weird feelings and scenarios that mean nothing. Soon enough, you and Beomgyu will be living in mutual bliss like before and you’ll forget about this whole nightmare. 

_______________________________

Beomgyu is holding back. You can see it. He tries to keep his desires in check so he doesn't hurt you again without meaning to. He doesn’t want to rush you but you can tell he is suffering. 

You can feel the way he reluctantly pulls away when his kisses get heated. You can see the way he averts his eyes when you wear something too revealing around the house. You can hear him when he sneaks to the bathroom in the middle of the night to relieve himself. 

And you can definitely feel it now in the way his unconscious body ruts against yours in his sleep. 

“Beomgyu…” You call out, mouth dry as you feel his cock grinding against your ass. 

“Princess…” He moans at the sound of you calling his name, his hips driving into your ass harder, still asleep. “Need you…”

And you'd be lying if you said you weren't affected too. You need him too. Your body naturally reacts to his, panties already getting wet as his bulge grinds between your legs. But you still haven’t been able to shake those disturbing images and feelings out of your head completely, especially not when he calls you princess. The word now carries an unexpected negative association for you.  

“Princess, please…” He cries in your ear, his fingers digging into your stomach. “Oh god, please.”

It makes you feel so fucking guilty to hear how desperate and needy he sounds, unconscious and unable to hold himself back like has been doing so many times recently. You want so bad to help. You want to push him on his back and ride his cock until he’s satiated and happy like he always gets when you fuck him, but you’re not sure you can. 

“Wake up.” You urge him, torn between the heat gathering in your belly and the suffocating feeling of being trapped in his hold. You want to help him–you want to help yourself–but you’re fucking scared that it would trigger those horrific images once again. 

But Beomgyu only whines and drives his hips into your harder. “My princess…”

“Beomgyu, wake up.” You call out once again, much more firmly this time, and he finally jolts awake, sitting up so he’s now hovering over you and checking you over. 

“Wha–what?” His first instinct is to make sure you’re safe and unharmed, looking over your body and touching you slightly all over to confirm you’re not injured. Then the confusion comes in–why do you have that look on your face?--but that only lasts a few seconds before the realization finally kicks in and his face crumbles in dismay. “Fuck, sorry. I’m so sorry. I've just been–”

“Needy? Yeah, I can feel that.” You push your thigh between his legs, trying to push away your unwanted feelings. He was so panicked about you being hurt that it all just makes you feel that much more guilty. Beomgyu would never hurt you. It was all in your head, and you want to get rid of it. You want to allow yourself to feel the love of your boyfriend again. 

“Oh, princess, I missed you so much.” He falls right into it, humping your leg just like you expected. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so weak.” 

“Aw, puppy…” You coo, brushing his hair out of his face so you can take a good look at the pathetic look on his face that you love so much. It sends a fucking jolt of electricity down to your already heated core. 

“It has barely been a couple of weeks.” You reprimand as if your panties weren’t rapidly getting wet right now. But Shame isn’t in Beomgyu’s vocabulary anyway. “A couple of weeks of having you right next to me and not being able to touch you. It was torture.” 

He pushes your nightshirt up and buries his face in your tits. You almost laugh, of course this would be the first thing the pervert does. Except what comes out of your mouth are not laughs but moans as his mouth quickly finds one of your nipples to wrap around. 

“Fuck, I missed these tits.” He mumbles, voice muffled as he continues to kiss and suck all over your breasts, making your back arch up into his touch and small whines escape your lips. 

“Good boy, gyu.” You whine, fingers pulling ruthlessly at his hair that you’re usually so careful and gentle with as he pulls your other nipple in his mouth and sucks harshly. Your hips thrust up against his body as you seek some relief from the liquid heat dripping out of you. 

He quickly notices and one of his hands sneaks between your legs to cup your soaked panties. He pulls off your nipples with an obscene pop, smirking cockily. “Looks like I'm not the only needy one here.”

You can't do anything but bite your lip as his palm kneads your sensitive pussy, your teeth tearing into the soft skin as you try to hold in your own needy moans. But Beomgyu doesn’t like that. He uses his other hand to pull your lip away from your teeth and push his thumb in so he has your mouth open and nothing in the way of the salacious noises he craves. 

“Beomgyu…” You slur, struggling to talk with his thumb pushing down on your tongue but it's clear from the way you push your pussy further against his hand what you want. 

“Are you gonna cum, princess?” He asks, his eyes raking up and down from your flushed face to your exposed tits as you arch your body up, seeking your high against his hand. 

“Uh-huh.” Drool dribbles down the corner of your mouth that is still held open by Beomgyu before he finally removes his thumb from your mouth and uses it to flick and pull at your perked nipple.

That extra bit of stimulation makes you cry and jolt as your orgasm comes crashing down like a wave onto your poor deprived body. If your panties were wet before, you're sure that now they've drenched and staining the sheets under you. 

But Beomgyu doesn’t care. He focuses on your face as the embarrassingly wet sounds of him continuing to palm your pussy through it all fill the room. 

He doesn't stop until after your body is no longer convulsing and just settling into a sluggish tremble as your slack open mouth lets out small, hoarse moans. 

Finally he stops, bending down to kiss you, his tongue easily slipping into open mouth and his hand wrapping around your jaw to get you to wrap your lips around it. You sluggishly respond, your mind still blank from the intense pleasure you just experienced. You didn’t even realize how much you'd missed his touch until now. 

But it's not over yet. You may have gotten what you needed but he is still as needy as he was before–even more so after the little show you put on for him, and you can feel exactly how much when pulls your soaked panties to the side to press his bare cock against your pussy. 

But as soon as you feel the head of his cock at your entrance, your body seizes up in terror and your mind goes into overdrive with image after image of that horrible nightmare. 

“No!” You shriek, trying to close your legs and push him away but you can't because he's lying between your legs and you only succeed in pulling him closer to you which freaks you out even more and you start sobbing. “No. Please, no.”

“What? What happened? What did I do?” He freaks out too. It must be such a whiplash for him. Everything was going so well and he probably doesn't understand what caused your sudden breakdown, but it's not like you can explain it to him when you don't even understand it yourself. 

All you know is that you don’t want him to stop so you just cry and shake your head. “Don't. Please, don't.” 

The blood drains from his face as he helplessly watches you descend further and further into this unprovoked mental break. “Baby, what's wrong? Just tell me what happened.”

He tries to reach out to calm you down but you finally manage to push him off you and scramble off the bed. “Stay away.” 

You pull your night shirt down to cover yourself. You feel disgusted, tainted, used. Why is this happening to you? What the fuck is wrong with you?

“Princess, please. Talk to me.” He pleads, and you can see his fists clutching tightly onto the bedsheets in order to hold himself back from leaping off the bed and taking you in his arms like you know he is dying to. That's his natural response. It's what his body and heart compel him to do. When you're hurt and in pain, that's what he does–he holds you, kisses you, comforts you, reassures you until you forget everything that has hurt you because nothing in heaven or on earth can get through him. He would never let anything hurt you. But how can he do that when he's the one who is hurting you? How can he protect you from himself? 

“You're killing me, baby.” He weeps, distraught and not knowing what to do with himself when he doesn’t even know how he's hurt you. “Please, please, tell me what I did so I can fix it.”

How can you say it? It's too cruel. If he's upset and miserable now, you don't want to think about what he'd be like if you revealed to him that the reason you have been withdrawing from him and reacting so negatively to his touch was because of the terrible disgusting images your fucked up brain decided to randomly conjure up and that he had no control over. It wasn't his fault and you were basically treating him like a rapist. 

But Beomgyu will not let it go. How can he when he can't even touch you without you reacting like he had burned you? He has to know. He deserves to know it's not his fault. 

“It's… the dreams.” You start, finding it difficult to talk through your parched throat. Your eyes flutter all over his face, searching for the smallest reaction to your words. You know he won't take it well–and you can't blame him. This is why he was so wary of the dreams. He didn't want them to infect your real life and now they have completely infested your brain. 

“I had an awful dream that you… that you..” You break down crying again. You don't want to say it. You don't want to break him twice. The worst thing is that they weren’t even just dreams anymore. It was like you were recalling actual memories. They come to you while you’re fully awake now. There is no escape and you don’t know what to do. 

“That I what?” He asks, voice so shallow with fear that it's barely a whisper. 

“That you… forced yourself on me.” You finally say it and the color drains completely from Beomgyu's face. “I tried so hard to push those images away. I know you would never do that to me but every time we touch–”

“I got it.” He cuts you off, not wanting to hear anymore. Beomgyu never shuts you up. He always wants to hear you talk–to hear every thought that crosses your mind. He soaks them all up whether good or bad. This is the first time he's ever had enough and that scares you more than anything. Is this how you ruin your relationship? Is this the final straw?

“Oh god, Beomgyu, I'm sorry.” You can hardly see through your tears so you walk closer to him, your need to be comforted by him, to know he still loves you, finally overpowering the heinous images in your brain. 

But your heart rips in half when Beomgyu flinches away from your touch. “Don't.” 

“I'm sorry.” You repeat, holding your arms out slightly from your body, waiting for Beomgyu to slot his own between them where they belong, selfishly needing him to make you feel better about everything when you’re the one who hurt him. “I'll do better. I will force myself to get through this. Just please…”

“Okay.” Beomgyu replies emotionlessly and gets off the bed and away from you. 

“Where are you going?” You ask him, terrified. “Are you leaving? I'm sorry, I swear. Forget about everything I said. I'll do whatever you want, just please–”

You walk towards him, reaching out to grab the top of his pants, intent on doing anything to make him stay but he pushes you off, disgust etched on his face. “No. Don't touch me.”

You knew those words hurt him when you said them to him before but you couldn't have imagined just how much, but as you stand now with those same words directed at you, it takes every fiber of you being not to hunch over from the agony they inflict on you. You never thought those wretched words would ever come out of Beomgyu's mouth–no, not your Beomgyu. And it's all your fault. 

“Please, don't leave me.” You cry, and Beomgyu looks at you in shock. “Leave? I told you I would never leave you.”

That brings you some comfort, but it's not complete as he continues to stand far away from you, and you make sure to tell him as much. 

“Then come hold me.” You ask petulantly. Is it hypocritical of you to demand physical closeness from him when you had before pushed him away when he was in your shoes? Yes, but you don't care. You just want him to stay and put your heart back together before you bleed out. 

“I need space. I need to think.” He says and you shake your head resolutely. “There is nothing to think about. I want you to stay.”

He gives you a smile so ingenuine it looked more like a grimace. “I'll see you in the morning.” 

“Don't walk out on me, Beomgyu.” You tell him, a threatening edge to your voice. Threatening what? You don't know. What are you going to do, sulk until he comes back? 

And he knows it too because he just shakes his head and tells you to get some sleep before he walks out. You scream after him, probably waking up all the neighbors but you don't care.

“Beomgyu! Come back! You're just gonna leave me here like this, you fucking asshole?” You scream and scream until your throat raw but he doesn’t come back, and with the last bit of your energy spent on your screams, you crumble to the ground and curl up into a ball–your knees pressed up to your chest and your arms wrapped tightly around them–trying to staunch off your hemorrhaging heart as your world falls away around you. 

_________________________________________

A/N: this will always remain my comfort fic despite how dark it can be. i will never get over this. anyway let me know your thoughts and depending on the result of this poll, the next chapter may be the last one or there will be one more chapter.

[whatwouldsylwrite]

At least I got you in my head (1)

prologue

Summary: Abby is straight. And then you move in with her.

Tags: modern au, fem!reader, straight!abby (she is doing some comphet bullshit), pining, idiot in love and it's abby, reader is gay and tired.

Notes: take a shot every time Abby experiences ~gay~

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

It all had started when Abby’s nice, perfect, amazing roommate decided to get married at the ripe age of 21 - which Abby didn’t understand at all, but she got invited to the wedding, so she kept her mouth shut about it. Except the marriage meant that her nice, perfect, amazing roommate would move out and go live her dream life with her sweetheart. And although the money wasn’t really a problem - Abby’s dad was a neurosurgeon, which meant he was loaded and Abby didn’t have to worry about anything financially - Abby really didn’t want to bother her dad and spend his money on the whole apartment when she could find a roommate. 

That was how Abby ended up with you as her new nice, perfect, amazing roommate. She didn't even care that the first thing you said to her was that you were a lesbian - which she didn't mind at all, 70 percent of her teammates were not straight, she was used to it, even though she was straight. But after Abby gave herself time to think about it, she understood why you said it right away - not all people were nice, and not all people were okay with living with someone who potentially could be attracted to them. 

Abby was absolutely cool with it.

What she actually cared about was if you left your dishes in the sink, and you didn’t. 

The first week living together was what Abby expected it to be: you both were getting used to your respective schedules, your habits and pet peeves, not talking much - Abby wasn’t sure if you even wanted to be her friend or you’d prefer to just stay as roommates who saw each other twice a day for five minutes. The most you spoke to her was to ask where something was or if it was okay to use something and where you could put all your things. 

Abby thought you were chill and confident with the way you carried yourself - it reminded her of some of her teammates, who were confident in a way girls were not expected to be confident. More like dominant? And they had nothing in common with you. Well, except for the gay thing. Abby wasn’t sure if there was a correlation. 

You both weren't at home a lot, but usually when Abby'd get from practice you'd be already at home and just out of the shower. Abby felt a little awkward when she saw you in a short towel and she tried not to look at you or anywhere dangerous. You didn't seem to notice how she only looked into your eyes when you walked from the bathroom to your room, water running down your neck and your thighs as you said your hellos. Abby didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with her, because she showered with 20 girls on regular basis and it didn’t make sense that she felt the need to look away from you, but who had time to reflect on it? Not Abby.

Abby would hit the shower next and come back to the smell of food in the kitchen - you told her on the first night that you didn't mind sharing your food with her or even cooking for both of you, and Abby quickly agreed to your offer. 

That was a first ritual you two established: Abby'd come home, take a shower and then hang out with you in the kitchen while you were cooking dinner. Today you looked a little tired, and Abby got it - it was Friday and the whole week was hard for both of you with getting back into studying mode. 

“How are you on this god-awful day?” You asked Abby with a small smile while you fried something on the pan. 

“Happy it’s the end of the week.” Abby sighed and leaned back on her chair, relaxing. “Profs are already talking about the finals, so annoying. We just had one class, calm the fuck down.” 

“Yeah. It’s bad for you med students.” You said with no actual compassion, but with a smile. “Sorry, I’m going to remind you that this misery is your choice every time when you’ll be on the brink of death during finals.”

Abby laughed at that.

“Unfortunately for you I’m not the one to complain about my choices.” Abby shot back and you laughed. 

“That’s admirable.” You nodded your head in theatrical appreciation. “Then you can make fun of me during finals because I will be complaining about every little thing. In a funny way, don’t worry.”

“Thanks for clarification.” Abby chuckled. 

“Do you want to watch something after we eat?” You asked casually and Abby felt her heart beating faster - you wanted to be friends with her after all!

"Yeah, sure."

You smiled at Abby and turned the stove off, taking the plates from the cabinet to put your food on. Abby was cool. She was sweet, a little of a scaredy cat with you - you didn’t think anything of it, you just met, maybe she was just awkward with new people. Abby looked confident with her friends and when you saw her in the corridors of your university Abby looked downright intimidating, tall and strong, commanding. At home though? She seemed shy. You supposed she'd get more assertive when she'd get comfortable with you, but even now she seemed like a genuinely cool person. 

You were still dealing with how attractive Abby was, your eyes always lingered on her shoulders and arms - you had a thing for athletes, what can you say - but you tried to suppress it as best as possible. The fact that Abby was so sweet around you didn't really help either, but what we can’t act upon makes us better at repressing, so that was what you were doing for the past week. The best strategy you had was to remind yourself Abby was straight, and it was working, especially if she gave you compliments the way only straight girls did, with this high tone at the end - if Abby wasn’t that buff she’d probably ask where did you get something just to finish you. Thank god you had a very different taste in clothes.

You finished your dinner making a small talk, still getting used to each other's mannerisms and sense of humour, with yours being more dark. Abby was surprisingly good at keeping up with you and not stuttering in shock when you’d say something awful, and it made you smile every time she'd make a comeback that was just as good. Again, it wasn't helping. 

"What do you want to watch?"

"I like horrors, actually." You said as you sat on the other side of the couch, keeping the distance. 

"Yeah, we can watch some horror." Abby shrugged as she sat down and gave you the blanket. "More cosy that way."

You smiled and put it over your lap.

Not. Fucking. Helping. 

Abby watched you getting comfortable and something filled her chest with pride, like providing comfort for you was something important to her. Well, Ellie always said Abby was a mom friend, and she was. She liked taking care of people around her, and now that you were her roommate she'd take care of you too. 

"Do you like horrors too or do you want me to hold your hand during scary moments?" You asked with a smirk, and Abby huffed. 

"Are you trying to trick me into holding your hand?" Abby smirked too, pleased with your little surprised reaction. 

"I'm more of a cuddler." You winked and Abby laughed. She liked how easy it was to banter with you even though you knew each other only for a week. "No, really, are you okay with horror? I don't want you to have nightmares after."

"I'm okay, don't worry." Abby murmured and gave you the remote. "I'm not a big fan, so you choose."

You shrugged and went through the list of horror movies while Abby got comfortable on the other end of the couch, leaning on the arm rest. It felt a little awkward, to be that far away from you - Abby was so used to always being close with her girl friends, but to be fair, you weren’t even friends yet. The movie you picked wasn’t a slasher (“i want to be scared, not grossed out”), but more of a psychological horror that actually made Abby uneasy. And then this movie had a fucking jumpscare that made you both jump and curse out loud. Abby let out a small chuckle and you shared a look between you, silently bonding over a scary feeling. 

“You sure you don’t want to hold my hand?” You teased and Abby rolled her eyes at you, but her heart was still beating too fast from the sudden scare. 

“I’m not a little bitch.” Abby said and smiled when you laughed. 

“Okay, big bad Abby.” You murmured and focused on the movie.

Even though the movie was unsettling, your little bitchy comments were making Abby laugh way more than feeling scared. 

"Do you really enjoy getting scared or are you just choosing something to complain about?" Abby asked with a smile. 

"Horror movies are like straight sex, you know. In theory you get scared shitless, in practice you complain about men not knowing how to scare you." You shrugged and Abby snorted, feeling like this was too real. "Sorry if I'm being crude, I got too comfortable for a second there."

Abby noticed your look, like you were trying to read her reaction if you crossed a line, but Abby only laughed. 

"Do I look like someone who can't take a sex joke?" Abby teased as she stood up, stretching. 

"Should I assume you're tough as fuck because you kick ass?"

"Yeah, you should." Abby murmured and looked in your eyes. There was a second of silence while you just stared back at her, surprised, and Abby felt something warm in her stomach. "Tea?"

"Yeah." 

After that movie night things got so much easier for both of you, and after three weeks of living together you already fell into the routine like you lived for three years already. You became friends very fast, quickly moving from spending evenings in your rooms to spending evenings hanging out in the living room together. It was like you just clicked in all the right places, balancing each other out, and you couldn’t feel more relieved. You were getting used to Abby and your first intense attraction finally ebbed away: you were not going to chase after a straight girl - you were not, in fact, an idiot. And you weren’t going to question her sexuality or try to “turn her gay”, because who were you to tell her who she was? Abby told her she was straight, and that was it. You still enjoyed looking at her and flirting with her, and Abby was an amazing person so it wasn’t hard to like her. But otherwise? Abby was an amazing roommate and even better friend. 

The end of September came around so quickly you didn’t even notice, too busy with classes and tutoring and maintaining some kind of social life, because Cait really needed someone to drag her out from the fucking library and ventilate her big brain. You admired her study habits, but sometimes she’d forget to sleep, and you had to kick her ass and make her take care of herself. That was the price of being friends with the smartest woman on campus.

It was again a Friday night when you cooked and Abby sat at the table while you chatted about your days and plans, now so much more comfortable with each other. You were right, Abby just needed to get used to you in order to stop being so shy and you basked in her confident personality now. 

“Do you have any plans for tomorrow?”

“I don’t kno-o-w.” Abby sighed like tomorrow's plans were torturing her. “Ellie wants to go out, but I don’t know if I’m in the mood.”

“Well, I plan to go out too, actually. Maybe we can join forces?” You asked curiously. “I feel like Cait would enjoy Ellie’s company if she is the nerd you’re saying she is.”

“She is an embarrassment.” Abby shrugged and you laughed. “I’m still shocked how she has any game at all.”

“Listen. Is she hot?”

“I guess?”

“Then there you go. She has game because she is hot.”

“That’s kinda shallow.”

“Do you really need to get to know someone better to hook up?” You scrunched your nose in doubt. 

“I mean, some people do.” 

“Then it’s not a hookup anymore, no? I mean, if I just want to get some stress relief do I really have mental space to learn about someone’s political views?”

“So you’ve fucked republicans.” Abby nodded and you laughed. “That’s fucked up, (y/n).”

“You see, that’s what I’m saying. I don’t know and I don’t want to know. Obviously you won’t miss the fact that they’re an asshole, so if it’s not the case, why not? Dating is a different story though.” 

“Yeah.” Abby nodded again. 

“So are we going out tomorrow?” 

“Well, when I’m attacked on two fronts I don’t feel like I have a choice.” Abby chuckled the way it made you hot, but yet again you pushed the stupid feeling down. 

Abby watched you cook as she was digesting what you’ve just discussed. It was the first time you acknowledged your sex life and Abby felt a little uneasy. Sex talk didn’t make her uncomfortable, and other people’s experience didn’t make her feel insecure, so she really couldn’t place why she felt just a little icky. Maybe your crudeness finally crossed her line? But Abby wasn’t sensitive to such topics, Ellie talked her ear off with her sex escapades, so why did she feel so strange? Her stomach growled and suddenly everything made sense: she was just in a low, sensitive mood because she was hungry and tired. 

And indeed her mood got better after she took the first fork filled with pasta and her stomach was now growling in happiness. 

“There’s a whole whale living in your stomach.” You smirked, but your stomach growled too and Abby snorted.

“Seems like you had one too.”

“Whale to whale communication.” You shrugged and Abby chuckled. “Have you ever listened to whale songs?”

“No. But I heard they’re supposed to help you relax.” 

“Well you’re listening to one now, so you tell me if you’re relaxed.”

“Oh I’m so relaxed I’d listen to the sound of not being hungry for hours.” Abby said and watched you roll your eyes fondly, because you looked so funny when you did it and Abby liked it. Abby’s phone buzzed with a notification and she unlocked it, but the clock caught her eye. “It’s almost 8, don’t you have a lesson?”

You looked up with saucers of the eyes and Abby laughed at how shocked and scared you got.

“Fuck!” You said with a mouth full of food as you jumped out of your chair while Abby laughed at you. “Fuck, how much time do I have?”

“Three minutes.”

“Shit. Fuck, can I ask you to sort this out?” You nodded at the food on the stove and at your plate. “Sorry.”

“You’re fine, don’t worry.” Abby said gently, trying to soothe you. “Go teach poor kids.”

You nodded and ran to your room to get yourself set up, and Abby finished her dinner while texting Ellie. 

from: els

soooo

are we going out tomorrow ?

to: els

you r so annoying 

but yes

(y/n) wants us to go together, she is going out with a friend too 

from: els

oooh

coooool

you mean I’ll meet the smart sexy lady you live with?

Abby rolled her eyes - she mentioned once that you were smart and she was learning some things from you and Ellie couldn’t leave her alone after that.

to: els

yeah 

but don’t be a dick to her

from: els

excuse me

I would never be a dick to a lady

to: els

you’re a dick to me all the time

from: els

who said you were a lady 

The audacity of this bitch, Abby thought as she sent Ellie a not so sweet sticker. She finished her dinner while bickering with Ellie and then tidied the kitchen. Your lessons were usually around an hour, so Abby didn’t need to hurry. She washed the dishes and put leftovers away. Abby thought it was so nice of you to cook for both of them, it was warming her heart - she didn’t like cooking, and having someone to take it off her was so amazing. God if you weren’t busy she’d hug you right now, she was so grateful.

But Abby settled for setting up her favourite part of Friday nights: beating your ass in Mortal Combat. What can she say, seeing you riled up but helpless against her, cursing her but unable to win anyway - fuck, Abby loved it. Now she'd just need to wait for you.

[ladyrowrites]

Promise Part 1

A/N: This came to me in a dream so I just had to write it. Also, this may be a long fan fic.. depending on how I feel and if I dream of this again lol :)

Pairings: Gojo x Afab reader

Warning: Lots of angst and some swearing, mentions of cheating

wc: 7,273

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

You were staring at the picture of you and Gojo at your night stand and then at the ceiling. You finally decided to stand up from your shared bed and started packing your belongings. Your body and mind could not process what Gojo confessed to you. You didn’t know what to do first - Cry? Breakdown? Break a few things? Laugh? Punch him? Slap him? Kill him?

Honestly, you were just so tired. You were planning a wedding - a marriage, a union between you and the love of your life. Or so you thought. When he proposed to you, he told you while on one knee that he wants to be with you FOREVER. Forever, my fucking ass. Laughable, even.

CHAPTER 1: Deal Breaker

Two Hours Ago

“Hi, love! How was work?” You giddily greeted him by the door as he entered your shared home. You felt something was off right away by the way his eyes and face looked. You can just feel his aura radiating bad news. You try to shake it away as you were excited to tell him about finding the perfect wedding dress today.

“Oh it’s all right” He responds quietly, “Can we talk, love?”

“Sure. What’s wrong Satoru?” You can already feel your heart sink. 

Gojo leads you to your bedroom and then sits at the foot of the bed while brushing his hair and sighing.

“SATORU! You are making me nervous. What is it?” You jokingly said while taking a seat beside him.

Gojo then stands up, trying to find the right words, trying to see how he will break this devastating news to you. As if, there will be a right way. Either way, you will get hurt and he was the cause of it.

He sighed again and cleared his throat, “My love, I just want you to know…” He was looking down and was playing with his fingers, “I love you very much and still now, you are the only woman that I see my future with. When I said forever to you, I meant it.” He was looking at you now.

You looked at him too, trying to understand what’s happening. Were you trying to reassure her? Gojo was the kind of fiancé to always reassure you especially when you are feeling insecure and down. But this time, it feels different. 

You didn’t speak. Your eyes spoke to him to continue.

“I…” He knelt down to you and cupped your face, “I will always love you.”

At this point, your heart and mind keeps racing, so you replied, “Get to the point, Satoru.”

He was whispering when he said this, but you heard it loud and clear. 

“I… I did the one thing you asked me not to do… Your deal breaker..” Gojo started crying and was leaning down now to your lap and he was shaking.

He continued, “I..I…slept with someone else..I’m sorry.”

If you think you experienced heart breaks before him, you were wrong. This was heart shattering, literally feeling your heart split in two. Your mind fades to nothing. You’re going numb, not knowing how to respond to that. You don’t know if you want to hit him first or smash all the things you could touch first or… you could just not think of anything. It’s like your body stopped functioning. 

“She was nothing though! It was a one time mistake! My love, it was a mistake! I promise, it was nothing. I’m so sorry” He was talking fast and pleading.

You laughed.

Ridiculous laugh.

“My love?” Was all you said and laughed again. There were no tears because you promised yourself that you will not let Gojo Satoru see you cry. NOT FROM THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT.

Gojo was just looking up to you while his hands were leaning in your lap. You pushed his hands away because you felt disgusted. The same hands that held you at your most vulnerable. The same hands that held you because he wanted to be with you.

You stood up, “You fucking cheater. Don’t even come near me! I asked you one thing! ONE THING! This should’ve been a given! Was I not enough for you?”

Gojo knelt in front of you saying how sorry he is. You kept pacing back and forth and your fists were balling wanting to punch him or yourself to wake yourself up from this fucking nightmare. The love of your life. The man you were supposed to be with until you both had gray hair. The one you were supposed to say ‘I do’ to… He BETRAYED you. After 4 years of loving each other, you can’t believe that this is how it's ending. Was everything a lie? Did he really love you faithfully from the start?

There were so many questions in your mind. You want to fucking drown in the ocean and not wanting to be saved.

“You were! You were Y/N! I… I don’t even know what came to me. I was intoxicated… Not that I am trying to find excuses, because I did it. It was a mistake. I am so sorry.” He was crying so hard that it was breaking your heart more.

“When did this happen?”

“Two weeks ago, Y/N. I.. My conscience was killing me. The moment it happened, I wanted to tell you but I don’t know how. I’m sorry. She was nothing.”

You felt sick to your stomach, knowing he came home to you that late night, drunk. He said he drank a lot and came home at 4am because his co-workers made him stay and that there was a big successful merger so he had to. AND YOU BELIEVED HIM. 

“Who was she?” You asked, whispering. You wanted to stop asking, but for your peace of mind, you had to, even if you don't even know if this will give you peace.

“Again, she was nothing to me. She was a client. We..we were both drunk and she was already flirting with me….”

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING LIAR!!!!!” You don’t want to hear what his story was leading to now. It HURT. It hurts so much you can’t breathe. You think you’re going to pass out so you sit down near the headboard where you see the loving picture of you and Gojo in the nightstand. He was kissing your cheeks while you were smiling so cheekily and your eyes looked so bright. You looked so in love. Where did it go wrong?

Gojo’s eyes were following what you were doing. Admittedly, he was surprised that you were not throwing tantrums or slapping him or just being violent. Not even tears. He felt he deserved all of that.

You just sat there quietly for 30 minutes, looking at everything else in your bedroom except for him. Gojo’s heart was breaking into tiny little pieces. He didn’t know what came over him. He destroyed all your love and trust on that one shitty night. He wanted to hug and kiss all your pain away, if you’ll let him. But he knows better than that.

After 45 minutes of just silence, Gojo spoke, “My love, just speak to me, please. Slap me, do something! Just please say something..” Gojo is pleading while he sat next to you. His cerulean eyes are red from crying. 

The moment he sat down, you stood up and got your luggage. You started putting all your clothes in it. Gojo wanted to stop you. He didn’t want you to leave but that would be so selfish of him. He was already selfish enough to sleep with a nobody. He just sat there looking at what you’re doing.

No words can truly describe how you felt. Betrayed. Destroyed. Broken. 

You just want to get out of there. You can’t bear to see the man you called your love. Because there was no love anymore felt in that house. Because if there was, he would not do this to you.

After packing, you said, “You don’t even need to send all the things I bought for this house. You can keep it.”

You removed the blue sapphire engagement ring he gave you, the same colour of his eyes; he said that he chose that ring to remind you that he will always be there forever. Forever, by your side, through sickness and in health.

Gojo began wailing. It was happening so fast. You were packing your things and then all of a sudden giving back the one thing he promised you forever. He began kneeling in front of you. Begging you not to leave him. You were his life, his love, his everything.

You also knelt, putting the ring in his palms. He was struggling to open it, but you were adamant to give it to him. 

Heartbreaking was an understatement. You wanted to hug him and forgive him and forget all this happened. But you can’t. This is not something you just sweep under the rug. He broke your trust.

“I told you cheating was my deal breaker when we first met. Obviously, you forgot. Or maybe this was really not the first time you felt doing it? I’m not sure anymore. I don’t know who you are anymore, Satoru. I.. I don’t think I can have this.” With that, you stood up, collected your luggage, and left without looking back.

The moment he heard his name left your lips, he thought it was the saddest voice he had ever heard in his life.

The moment you were down outside by the lobby, you started bawling like you never cried before. You were on the floor just sitting by the wall while you poured your heart out. People were looking at you, even the security, but you didn’t care.

That night was the night your soul left your body.

You see someone coming to you, but you can’t see who it was as your vision is blurred from all the tears.

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

“Y/N?”

You look up with your hand in your hair, “Suguru?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NEXT CHAPTER HERE!

Hope you enjoyed this angst! I think I love writing them lol :)

Writing soon again,

Lady Ro

[icallhimjoey]

everyone is talking about Tupperware joe or ciabatta roll joe but what about lost-the-bet (won the bet?) joe? We still never got our epilogue where her dream came true and she could ogle at him in peace 😆

okay well shit, all this fuckery about rumours has resulted in this bullshit, are you happy now?!

Wordcount: 3K

—-

Blind Bargain

(read Double or Nothing here)

"You look... um, windswept?"

Izzy passed you a drink she'd been holding onto you for, and she was right. There was a rosy tinge to your cheeks, your hair a bit messy and you looked rushed.

Because you had been rushing.

"Oh, is my, is my mascara running?"

Izzy leant closer and squinted, "Yea, a little. Wait, here," and with a finger wet from her beer glass, she carefully wiped under one of your eyes. "It's not that windy though, is it? Did you run over here?" she gave you a suspicious look and you instinctively went for a sip of your drink to evade her question. To hide half your face.

"Hey, did Joe say he was coming?" one of your friends asked the group, and before anyone could answer, someone spotted him walking in.

Too soon, Joe.

That was too quick after you had walked in, God, what an idiot. You'd gone over this!

Calmly smoke the rest of your cigarette. Don't rush it. Make no one suspect anything had just happened mere minutes ago.

Everyone greeted Joe like normal and for a moment you were convinced it was just you who was making things weird.

"Hi,"

Why were you blushing?

"Hey,"

You knew why. Saw Joe's little smirk and, fuck, it made you want to squish his cheeks together to make his lips go funny.

You exchanged polite smiles instead, pretended to not have seen each other in at least a week, and cheersed drinks once Joe got given one by another friend.

When you turned back to Izzy, she was still sort of squinting at you.

"What?"

"Nothing," Izzy immediately raised her eyebrows but then kept looking at you. "Did you work from home today?"

Now it was your turn to squint at Izzy, suspicious as to why she wanted to know. "Yea, why?"

Fuck. What if she was onto you?

She might be closer to the truth than she thought, but you were not sharing your secrets. Not today.

You and Joe were sneaking around.

No one needed to know.

Just like during the bet, no one needed to know what was really going on behind closed doors. Difference being that now, the frightening parts weren't there anymore. You didn't like lying to Izzy, but, it was no longer scary, which was good.

Before, you were scared that if someone, specifically Izzy, were to find out about what Joe was doing to you on a daily basis, you'd lose him as a friend.

You weren't quite sure how one and one made two there, but that's exactly what you'd thought.

Now, if someone were to find out about what you and Joe were doing to each other on an almost daily basis, then they'd just know and it wouldn't really change much.

You just didn't want to be the one to tell anyone. Use words to explain anything. And neither did Joe. So, it remained a secret.

So far, you'd been resourceful in your ways.

Avoided Izzy like she was the plague.

She'd nearly caught you that one time she came home in the middle of the day whilst you and Joe were in the shower.

"Showering on company time?" she'd shouted from the hallway, and you'd stammered, "I worked through lunch time," as an excuse before whispering, "Did you leave your shoes by the door?" to Joe who was pressed into the corner of the shower with his shoulders hunched up, eyes wide and both hands covering his penis as he nodded.

"Shit."

"Shit."

Izzy hadn't seen the shoes.

Or, if she had, she hadn't mentioned them.

She had also once so very nearly caught sight of your text chain.

It was just a continuous thread of times followed by places. The bet had ended just over a month ago, but if someone was to go just by your texts, you knew you'd be able to convince them it was an ongoing thing still.

You'd been able to throw your phone into your lap face down just before Izzy had passed you a mug of tea. Just in time.

"Can people not just know?" Joe had asked once when you were in the middle of throwing every last item of clothing his way whilst he got dressed in a hurry. Izzy texted she was on her way and if you needed anything from the corner shop.

"Sure they can," you said, hitting him in the head with a sock. "Will you tell her?"

Joe scoffed, gave a soft frustrated, "No," and made a face as if he was making fun of his mum when she asked him a ridiculous question.

"Yea, didn't think so, hurry up," you rushed out of your bedroom to find Joe's shoes, held his coat so he could slide in and be quick out the door.

But there Joe had paused, right on the threshold.

"What if she..." Joe stalked closer and pushed himself right up against you. "Just walked up, right now, and happened to catch me do this?"

Fingers curled around your neck and were used to pull you in just enough for your lips to collide. Joe felt how just for a second or two, you turned boneless in his hands.

"Saw me touch you here?"

His other hand found the hem of your shirt to slip under, and you so very wanted to get lost in all of it again. You did.

But then you heard the lift go, and it startled you enough to squeeze a laugh out of Joe.

"Stairs!" you hissed, "Go, go! Stairs, now. Quick!" you shoved him towards the stairs, chuckling man easily moved by your hands. First step down, he leant back and, you obliged, gave a last quick kiss before he scurried down. You'd closed the front door to your flat just in time.

Yea.

It was definitely still a secret. One you wouldn't mind leaking, not at all. But you weren't the one who was going to say anything. And neither was Joe.

So at the pub, you pretended and tried your best to act the way you acted before any of this started. Before the bet had even become a thing.

Joe would still be flirty, but just a little flirty. Flirty like he had been flirty before.

Like when he'd see a random guy trying to make conversation when you went to get drinks, he would afterwards pretend you had an eyelash stuck under your eye and lean in real close to get it. Would make you make a wish as you blew nothing from his finger tip.

Tonight felt extra risky though.

You had worked from home. Izzy was right.

What Izzy didn't know is that Joe had spent half the day on your sofa, and he'd decided that, just before you were heading off to meet everyone at the pub, his eyes had had enough of just looking at you all day. His fingers were jealous. Mouth envious.

As a joke he'd nearly walked you into Izzy's room. You'd shrieked and laughed and oh my God, could he please never even try to joke about that again?

All right, Joe thought. Instead he'd fucked you right up against her door.

Risky business.

You didn't know if Izzy was going to come home first, but when you walked in and saw her in her full office attire, you secretly sighed a small breath of relief.

You fell into easy conversation that night. Avoided Joe until you couldn't after a dance of people getting drinks and going to the toilet, you ended up next to him at a table.

Joe didn't waste any time getting a hand on your thigh.

Your brain only stuttered for a second.

You were good at this. Kept up the conversation you had with the friend opposite, and Joe joined in the casual chat as his fingers squeezed and inched closer to where it was warm.

You squeezed your legs together in warning.

It did nothing.

Joe's hand stayed in place, fingers playing where they wanted to play.

Suddenly, someone who thought they were being real funny, asked about your luck on the apps. You hadn't taken a guy over to Friday night drinks at the pub for a bit now.

"I'm off the apps, actually," you shared. "So far it's been really unsuccessful, so I decided to just delete everything—"

"Don't lie," Izzy spat, interrupting you.

You felt Joe squeeze tighter before he removed his hand. Too many eyes on you now.

"I'm not lying!" you scoffed. "I'm not on the apps anymo—"

"I hear you sneaking guys in all the fucking time,"

Shit.

This got everyone's attention quick enough. Good thing Joe got both his hands above the table just in time.

"You sneaking guys in?" another smiley friend asked, bumping you with his shoulder. "You little minx!"

You were at loss of what to say, scoffing with your mouth open, you didn't know if you were better off denying everything, or coming up with another weird lie to save yourself from this situation.

"It's erm," you played with your drink a second, slowly spun it 'round on the table in front of you. "It's recent, this being off the apps thing,"

Izzy frowned.

"So you deleted them yesterday?"

So she'd heard you and Joe two days ago. Neat.

"Yep. Deleted them yesterday."

You didn't like how Izzy was pushing this, but you didn't really have another choice but to just go with it.

Izzy seemed annoyed and hostile and, you got it, sort of. You were best friends. No need to lie. You'd never lied about bringing guys over to the flat ever before.

Some of your other friends fell into a conversation about dating apps. About how none of them really work, how they barely know any people who've been on them and who are still in successful relationships. You leant back a little to listen along, had a slow sip of your drink and tried to ignore Izzy staring at you from across the table.

When you did look her way and made eye-contact, her features instantly softened and she leant closer over the table as she mouthed, "Why?"

You frowned, unsure of what she meant.

"What do you mean, why?" you mouthed back, and in a crossfire of conversation, Izzy pushed another friend out of his seat to sit directly opposite you.

"Why are you off the apps?"

Joe tuned in. Couldn't not. The two of you were right there next to him, blocking him from joining the conversation on the other side of the table.

You repeated what you'd said earlier. Added, "They're a bit shit really, aren't they?" to which you knew she'd agree.

And Izzy did agree.

But you also saw her worry lines work.

"I don't— we're on different pages," Izzy started, a little louder now as she sat back. "Different books even."

"What do you mean?" Joe asked, tried to make it sound like he wasn't incredibly invested in whatever this conversation was between you and your flat mate. Best friend. The one person who you'd been actively hiding from for over a month now.

"I know the difference between a fake orgasm and a real one," Izzy said, voice flat and loud enough for the whole table and then probably also the three closest to you to hear.

You choked on your drink before Izzy carried on. Coughed right into your glass and got beer all down your chin.

"These guys are—" Izzy shifted from talking to Joe to talking to you, "I don't know what they're doing to you, but they're good."

This got whoops - loud ones. Ones that made people across the pub turn their heads to see what the commotion was about.

"Okay!" you immediately tried to make everyone tone it down, one of your arms stretched over the table. "All right, I need some— some fresh air? A drink. I'm gonna get— does anyone else want to do a drink over a tenner? Gin tonic? Let me just—"

You stumbled through an excuse to escape everyone whilst simultaneously ignoring every question that was thrown at you by your friends.

"Guys? These are plural men?"

"Is that why you're off the apps? Found the right bloke who does it for you?"

"How often do you hear her, Izzy?"

"Give us a name!"

You awkwardly climbed from your seat and disappeared on your way to the bar.

Fuck.

You'd been so convinced Izzy didn't know, or hadn't heard. She never said anything.

She didn't know it was Joe though.

She'd said guys.

Thought you were bringing home guys from the apps to spend some spicy time with in your closed of bedroom. Snuck them in and snuck them out.

Sure.

Slut era.

You could pretend that this was the actual truth and go with it for however long you needed to.

"Hey,"

You thought maybe Izzy would follow you, but instead, Joe placed a hand on your shoulder as you waited for your turn at the bar.

"I um— I hear that someone is, um—" Joe couldn't help the smile he was sporting. "Being real nice to you."

You smiled through a scoff.

"Don't,"

"I'm not doing anything, I just..." you felt a warm hand spread its fingers over your bum. "It's not gone down, yet," Joe whispered right into your ear.

It made you lean back to scan his face a second as you frowned with confusion. His mouth made it back to your ear, "Here, it's been— I've been walking around with this since we left yours," below the bar, Joe's hand found yours and moved it over to his crotch.

"Jesus Christ, Joe," you hissed, panicked eyes darting around to see if anyone else had just witnessed that.

"I told her."

What?!

You couldn't fucking believe what you were hearing.

"You told Izzy about your semi?"

"Um, have a proper feel, this isn't a—"

"What can I get you?"

"A dirty bucket of gin, side of tonic," you huffed before Joe interjected, ordering three regular sized gin and tonics. One for you, one for Joe and presumably one for Izzy, for the traumatising.

"I told her it's me,"

You laughed. Bursted right into it, puffed out cheeks releasing air before it stuttered into giggles.

"No, you didn't— listen, I'm going to down my drink and leave, I'll text you when—"

His mouth found your ear again as he leant into you, spoke right into your ear again, voice low and husky, "I told her. Izzy knows now."

"What— what did you say?"

"I went," Joe started and made exaggerated facial expressions, raised eyebrows and big eyes. Then he smiled and pointed a finger at himself and nodded as his grin grew. "And then she went," Joe mimicked Izzy's reaction, surprise and frowned shock before adding, "And then she said she fucking knew it, that she'd known all along."

Oh.

Okay.

What now...

You didn't know what to do next.

Was Izzy mad?

You'd lied to her for ages.

Joe paid for the gin and you took a glass to immediately take large gulps of, stepping back just enough to catch sight of your table of friends.

They were all talking. Izzy included. Didn't seem bothered that you weren't there. Just a normal group of people talking about their week. All commotion from before gone, which, good. That was good.

You still didn't really want to go back over.

Then Izzy looked over and caught your eye. Your breath stopped for a second as you froze, afraid Izzy would let you see her anger and annoyance and frustration, because why had you lied for so long? Why had you not just told her?

But then, instead, Izzy smiled, pointed a finger at you with a scrunched up face and winked.

Izzy was a good friend.

"This is for Izzy," Joe pressed a second gin and tonic into your hands, already halfway through his own, just like you.

"Could you go— I don't, we have to— you know,"

You suppressed a smile.

"Ugh," you groaned with faux annoyance. "You're hard, we get it."

Before stepping away from him to bring Izzy your drink, Joe took hold of you by a bicep and pulled you close once more. "You say that like it isn't you fault."

It was weird and a little scary being out in the open, in public, with Joe like this, but you guessed that now, you could just... do that?

Wild.

You pulled back a little, smiled and raised your eyebrows at him.

"You say that like I'm not going to take care of it,"

You bumped your hip into him, and Joe had to close his eyes for a second. Bite down a groan and take deep breaths through flared nostrils for a second. You left him there as you quickly took Izzy's drink over to the table before turning around and beelining it back.

There was no way you were going to say anything. Invite comments or questions or even the odd facial expression.

You got them anyway.

"Bye,"

"Enjoy!"

"Have fun!"

"Hey, tell Joe to tuck it away already, we've been making jokes behind his back all night,"

"Bye babe,"

And with a laugh, you shook your head as you walked back over to Joe, both downed the rest of your drinks, drinks that Joe paid far too much for to down within a minute, interlaced fingers and left the pub together.

Joe got into a bet with you weeks ago, all for a week of fun he knew he was going to have with you, win or lose.

Had wanted to have with you, since, like, forever.

He'd never expected the outcome to be better than what he could've predicted.

He'd never even expected you to jump into this bet with him in the first place.

A sight-unseen transaction.

A true blind bargain.

One that panned out fucking perfect.

the end

---

The Taglisted

@adoreyouusugar, @alana4610, @ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @barfightzanddiscolightz, @bettyfrommars, @cancankiki, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @dylanmunson, @eddies-puppet, @electricmunson, @emma77645, @emmamooney, @everythinghasafacee, @figmentofquinn, @frogers, @frootvelvet, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @harringtonfan4, @haylaansmi, @jasminearondottir, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @kellyxo1, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @miserybeans, @nadixq, @notverywise, @paola-carter, @pepperstories, @phyllosilicate-s, @roosterisdaddy36, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @thebellenouvelle, @thewondernanazombie, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella

taglist currently full, sorry

[darkchocoboo]

Car | Javier Peña

part 1

pairing: Javier Peña x F! reader.

summary: Javier is mad about you leaving his house. 

cw: EXPLICIT CONTENT MINOR DNI!  p in v sex, thigh riding, public sex, car sex, uprotected sex, angst to fluff, Javi is kind of a dick, he takes you to the woods to talk, no Y/N

“What the hell agent? Are there anything else that you hide from me?” You jumped in scare as your office’s room slammed open.

“What? What’re you talking about Peña?”  He closed the door behind him, leaving towards your desk.

“That you’re the daughter of the ambassador? How long you’re gonna hide that?” You were genuinely confused about why he was so angry.  You tried to keep it cool as he hovered over you, face inches away from you. 

“Was it related in any kind, boss? Why are you so angry about it?” He was shocked about how calm you were against his anger. 

“Why does it bother you, Peña? Do you think that I’m here because of him. Do you think that he ordered them to send me down here?” Now it was you who was angry. You got up on your feet, slamming your hands on table. 

“Do you really think I’m standing where I am because my old man is the fucking ambassador? No, Peña. I’m here because I worked my ass of to be here.  I. WORKED. MY. ASS. OFF.  Did you know he’s trying to send me back to US? In every chance he gets. With every power he puts his hands on, he’s trying to send me back! But no, I’m not gonna let him. I’m not gonna let his power wash over what I did to become who I am today. And no I’m not gonna take your shit. If you have anything real to be angry about, about our jobs in DEA, you can yell as long as you want. But I’m not gonna listen your bullshit. Now, if you let me I have things to do.” You fell on your chair, knees shaking from anger. He turned his back to you, lit a cigarette. Took two steps to the door. He couldn’t take another. 

“Why did you left, without saying a word?” So that was the real reason.

“I found a place. I don’t have any reason to crush at your place anymore.” 

“Where is it?” 

“Where is what? Oh, across the street from yours.” 

Look at that little coincidence, Javi thought to himself. And left the room without saying another word.

**

Javi pushed the drapes to side for a better view. Watching you dancing around on your balcony with a bottle in your hand. Laughing to someone he doesn't know. Saying things that he can't hear with a smile on your face. He was jealous. Blood boiling in his veins in anger. He wanted to punch that guy on his fucking face. He squeezed the glass in his right hand. Sending the amber colored drink down his throat.

It was already midnight, street lights luminating the street.  That guy was still in your home, who know what he was doing to you. Did he made you feel as good as Javi did? Did he made you moan as loud?

Javi didn't sleep that night. Drowning himself on whiskey, lighting a cigarette right after another.  He was confused why he felt that way. He was confused about the feeling that burned him from inside. It was just one week, for one week you lived with him. Every morning he woke up from his sleep he saw you, sleeping on his couch. So peaceful almost looking like an angel. Your mouth slightly open, locks of hair stuck on your face and neck.  Your eyes twitching from the dream you're having. The way your eyelashes bat around your eyes as you wake up, little yawn you let out. Streching your body as you sit on the same couch, the pillow mark on your face. The way you blush when you realize his eyes all over you. Your fake-angry grunts.  He was just getting used to it. You being around him. When this was his morning routine, he almost felt happy for the first time in years. But it was all  gone one morning. He woke up a little late, walked into the living room expecting to see you, but everything was gone. Every little thing to prove your existance was gone. Like you were never there.  It was dissapointment, what he felt at that moment.  He forced himself to go to work. When he got there, he overheard other agents talking about you, being the only daughter of the ambassador. He wasn't angry about that. He was angry about you leaving without saying a word. But it was a good reason to yell at you.

 He got up, took a quick shower, got dressed. Walked out of the building and started to wait for you as he lit another cigarette. The man from your balcony appeared on the door first, then you walking behind him. You smiled at his ugly face, hugged him your goodbye and took steps to your SUV. Javier stopped you from opening the door.

"Who was he?" 

"Good morning to you too, Boss." You took his cigarette that was hanging from his beautiful lips to put between yours. You took a deep breath, exhaling the smoke to his face.

"Who was he?" His fingers digging into your wrist.

"A friend. If it's any of your business."

"A friend,huh. A friend who stays over night." You let out a sigh. Throw the cigarette bud off to the street.  

"Can I go now? My boss is gonna be angry."

" Your boss needs you somewhere else. Get in."  You drove as he gave directions. The air was tense, there was no small talk nor little sarcasms like he always does.  It was a small hill with no trees, in middle of nowhere.

"What are we doing here, Boss?"

"Why did you left without saying a word?"

"Thank you for the couch, Javi. But I really have no idea why you acting like this. I know it was mean of me to leave like that but,"

"Why did you left like that?"

"Like what Javi, like what?" Now you were yelling.

"Like nothing happened."

"I thought it was one time thing and didn't mean anything. As you always do. What did you expected?" You turned your face to him.  He stuttered under his breath you couldn't catch on. His hands find your face. His thumb caressing your face. Sweeping your locks from your face. His face getting closer to yours as he kept looking directly in your eyes. His soft lips find yours quickly. His hand lowered to your throat giving a light squeeze to make you open your mouth. His tongue searching for an opening on your lips. You let him into your mouth as your tongues meet in hunger. Tongues clashing like the feelings inside you. You didn't mind any of that. Just wanting to taste him. His touch on your bare skin. His arms covering you as he gave you a taste of heaven. Moans he gave you on that very night. You would give your life to hear those again.  He breaks the kiss suddenly.

"It meant something. I waited for that night for a long time. It fucking meant something."

"Is that so, Javi? Then  why did you act like I was some prostitute? You didn't even say good morning. You just left me in your bed with taxi money on bedside table. Was that what it meant to you?"

"I-" You raised your hand in dissapointment.

"Shut up, it's my turn. You came into my office rampaging about unrelated things. Acting like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Those were the first things that you said to me that week. Now you come to me asking about who was in my house and why I act like this. Without thinking how you acted first. Who are you to question me Javier Peña?"

Tear were running down your face as you slammed your forehead on the stirring wheel. Your body burning up with anger.

"You don't know shit Peña. A shit. You're so used to being every women's favorite that you forgot how to act normal. You don't even know how to talk to a woman without seducing them. You catched me in a vulnerable time and used it. That's what happened. And me, being the stupid bitch I am, let you do that."

Now you were calm, crying on the wheel, sobbing as your chest moves up and down slowly.

"I haven't felt that way in years. It was my happiest week." He confessed in a slow tone.

"I was scared that I would ruin it with my words. Now I see I ruined it by not saying anything. I don't know how to be happy, Agent. I was never happy. Before you. I acted like a jerk, I know. And I'm gonna make it up for it. I didn't do any of that to make you feel bad." 

"You're old. But you know nothing." His hand find your shoulder pulling you to his chest.

"Then teach this old man." He kissed your hair, he kissed your forehead that was on his chest, he kissed your nose, he kissed your wet eyes. He kissed your lips last. In a way he never kissed anyone before. With love, with fondness. You could taste your salty tears on his lips.

You climbed on him on passenger seat. Your denim tight around your thighs. Kiss turned into a more passionate one. His hands trailing your curves like wants to memorize everything. Running his hands under your band tee to find you without a bra.

"Nasty. This is how you come to work, baby?"

"Nah, only on Wednesdays."  You mocked him, lips brushing against his.  You grind against him under your jeans. He raised his hips in need on your touch.

“Oh, baby.” Lips found your neck, leaving sloppy kisses on your sensitive skin. Your hands walked down on his mustard colored button-ups. Feeling his muscles tensing under your touch. His metal buckle belt hit your fingers. You started undoing his buttons. Slowly, you took your time, you made him whimper with your slow movements.

His patience was running out, you wanted to take your time, torturing him made you more wet between your legs. Hands left your back for a moment. He ripped his shirt, buttons spreading all over your car.

“You can’t wait to have me, can you?”

“I’m gonna make you mine, bonita. When you walk into the office everybody is gonna know that I fucked you minutes ago. Everybody is gonna know that you’re my girl and my girl only.” You licked your lips with his words. Giving him the doe-eyes. You know that works on everybody. He took of your band tee in one slick motion, lips found one of your nipples. Teeth on your sensitive bud make you moan.

“Oh, you like that, huh?” His cold fingers started toying your other one. You undid his belt buckle fastly. You needed to feel him, feel that burning sensation deep inside your pussy. Grinding him harder know.  You fished his already wet thick cock out of his boxers. Squeezing him a little. Your hand moving up and down on his lenght, feeling every vein on it.

“Not yet.” He stopped ypu by wrapping his long fingers to your wrist. He unbuttoned your jeans, signaling you to take them off. Taking off your jeans was a pain in the ass, considering your position. But you made it work, leaving yourself with only your lace panties.

“Ride me, my thigh. Ride my thigh.”  You started riding his jeans eyes closed, mouth half open. Your lace panties and his denim fabric making your clit ache with friction.

“Javi-“  Your juices left wet marks on his blue denim. He grabbed your waist and pressed you more to his leg. Nails digging to your skin.  He squeezed one of your boobs with hand making you want him more.

“Javi, please.”

“You can’t wait to have me, can you babygirl?”

“No please.” He kept grinding you to his jeans as he slowly moved his leg up and down, jumping you with him.

“You gonna cum on my leg, then I will think about fucking you.” His hard cock was resting on his lower belly, leaving pre-cum stains on his open button-ups.

“Yeah, baby. Just like that. Ride me, make yourself cum. So good Agent. You look beautiful when you’re horny.” You were at the edge of a cliff and his praising wasn’t helping about maintaining your sanity.

“Javier, I can’t, please.” He chuckled with your words.

“You can, baby. Cum on my thigh. I know you can give it to me.” Your legs started shaking with his, mind got all blurry when your juices started to wet his jean.

“Just like that. I knew you could do it.” Your head fell on his shoulder as you felt the warmth spreading all over your body. His hand caressing your back as you rest on his shoulder.

He opened the door, grabbed your ass as he stepped out of the car.

“Javi, someone can see.”

“That’s the point, cariño. Let’em see.” He dropped you on the ground. Lowered his jeans to his ankles. He bent you over your car, peppering your back with small kisses. So light you couldn’t even felt his lips on your back. He stroked him self a little to spread his pre-cum. His red throbbing tip found your hole.

“Do it, please. I need you Javier.” He slammed his hips to you. A gasp escaped your mouth. Air inside your lungs was all göne with his harsh movement. You lost control of your own body. Your knees started shaking as your hand found his ass to press him to your core deeper.

“So, you like it rough, right Agent?” You couldn’t find your words as he kept pushing himself deeper to your core. He left you speechless.

“You’re taking me so well, babygirl. Like you’re made for me. Never saw anyone take it s’good.”

You’re mouth watered as his long fingers grabbed you by hair. Moans scratching  your throat, leaving you breathless. Your high was coming to get you any second. He never slowed down, never changed his pace. He just kept hammering you to your car.

“Javi, I’m”

“Me too baby.” He pulled you to his chest by your hair. Hugging you with one arms other find your clit. Rubbing it with his thumb. This was way too much. You could lose your mind over his actions. Your walls started clenching around him, your orgasm hit you hard as he pulled out. Your knees wasn’t keeping you standing at that moment. You hold on to your car. Your juice streaming between your legs as he jerked himself between your thighs. His thick ropes painting inside your legs, dripping down to your knees and the grass under you.

“You never not surprise me, bonita. I love that about you.” He kissed you slowly. Your breaths slowed down as he kept you in his arms. His head resting on the crook of your neck. Hot breath hitting your skin, giving you goosebumps.

“I’m never gonna let anyone upset you. Not anymore. You understand? Not me, not your father. No one ever gonna upset you.” He kissed you again, with love.

[winonaparadise]

short story 💯

wrote a very quick story about a class i took in college. if you like my writing in my videos you may like this

Five years ago today I was clawing through state university. I had switched majors in an effort to come away with something more material from my college experience – but I was also trying to earn as many credits with as few courses to keep my schooling short and cheap.

I took a heavy weighted class in “media law.” A subject notoriously as intricate as it is absolutely fucking stupid. Anything you could learn, Disney will change tommorrow. The professor was an adjunct, splitting his time between the humble basement where boys with Pulp Fiction posters in their dorms fiddled with cameras and the actual law school where he was employed some miles down the road. I have never seen Pulp Fiction, but I’ve fiddled with enough cameras and enough of the boys who own them to have reviewed it twice. This is not a problem to me now.

Then I was stupid. Twenty. And basically friendless. I spent all my time trying to make something the same way the universe spent billions of years pouring hot soup into holes and hoping life would bubble out. I studied Japanese during quiet matches of PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds. I never got a win, and I never got an “A” in Japanese.

Weeks of school went by as I skimmed textbooks, got high, and thought about talking to literally anyone. Academic words danced around the edges of my brain like sand. I wrote essays on the same autopilot I write today. Feverish. Flowing. Fantasizing about what it would be like to go out with someone instead of texting a girl who now lived in Japan and making ramen noodles while listening for footsteps in a digital warzone.

I did all my work. I submitted it on something called “canvas” that the muscle memory in my fingers still types in search bars to this day. I never checked my grades. I knew they were bad.

Classes dragged me through the week on a bungee cord. I lived a block away from the bulk of them and found myself drifting in halls of buildings I’d never attended just to keep myself from meandering back home to draw a bad comic about a girl who lived in hell. 

I knew nobody. I went nowhere. I struggled to do classwork alone on outdoor benches dreaming of someone speaking to me. I needed to live in hell instead.

My media law professor was late the weekend after our first term essays were due. I don’t know what mode of transportation he took to get from one school to the other but today the Carolina sun had drenched him sweaty. We were chilly waiting for him to begin.

“Just about every single one of you failed.” He spat and chugged coffee through the entire period. “While I first was grading I thought I was the one who failed.”

He didn’t let the moment of respite last. “But I also did something I’ve never done before.” He paced like my father did when a restaurant was closed early. “I gave out my first perfect score. Which prevents me from grading on a curve.”

He huffed, he assigned a new reading, and he rushed out like he had lit dynamite. “Do better!” “What an asshole.” The girl who sat next to me in every class spoke as if she had been holding her breath. “Fuck him and fuck whoever got that hundred.”

“I know right!” I launched in on her anger, feeling it too. Back and forth we complained. We walked off campus together. She had long blonde hair and towered over me. I had felt ugly and mousey next to her, but today I felt like her equal. It felt good to bitch.

“I got a fucking 50. What about you?”

“It wasn’t pretty.” I recalled how I stayed up the night before the assignment was due. I milked bullshit into a puree. I got a rush of adrenaline from killing someone with a shotgun through a door in an abandoned house on the outskirts of Pochinki. I was probably close to being expelled. “This class is too fucking hard,” she smoked and shook her head by a bus stop on Tate Street. “I’m not about to lose my freetime over it.”

“Right.” I imagined her at parties. Black silhouettes against colored lights and deafening music. Like The Social Network. “We should be partners for the next assignment,” she got out her phone and passed it to me for my number. I typed it in. I waved her off on the bus. We did the assignment together. We texted each other about our studies. We joked about finding the guy who got the perfect score and beating him senseless. I thought about talking to her about my art or what we were making in other classes, but never did.

Towards the end of the semester I had to plan the next. A whirlpool churned in my stomach as I clicked on “grades” on my campus’ online portal. I had an A+ in a single course. 

Media Law.

My friend from class texted me that she was dreading the final. I texted her that if we failed I would kill Mr. Perfect Score. She texted “lol.”

She passed the course. I got my degree so I assume I did too. We stopped texting.

That professor emailed me asking me to take a course at the law school down the road. He said he would let me sit in and see if I wanted to change majors a third time. I never replied.

A law degree would just make Mr. Perfect Score a hundred times more punchable.

[howlingday]

Lancaster Dream House

Ruby: I never cared about playing with Barbie growing up. They were the perfect sacrificial lambs to my Power Rangers and their awesome powers!

Jaune: I played with Barbie when I played with my sisters. I never knew about the Barbie world, so I was just learning.

Ruby: How to play Barbie? Is it really that different?

Jaune: Well, yeah, because everything is so every-day and situational in the Barbie world. It's totally different from how you'd play with Naruto figures.

Ruby: True.

Jaune: I'm not making them fly up in the air and shouting jutsus at each other and punching each other in the face.

Ruby: "Kage Bunshin!" Heh heh heh...

Jaune: Exactly! I'd do all the voices, too, but... With Barbie, the way girls played, it was all situational and slice of life. They'd be like...

Jaune: "Here, they're having dinner right now."

Ruby: Huh... I never realized.

Jaune: "And now they're going driving in their car."

Ruby: Where would they go?

Jaune: Probably to their other friends' house. And I would do it because I didn't give a fuck! I just wanted to play with toys!

Ruby: What do they do when they get to their friends' house?

Jaune: They'd have dinner again.

Ruby: And after that?

Jaune: Probably go on a tour of the house. Y'know, just showing off their stuff like going on a tour.

Ruby: "I'm probably gonna have to do some landscaping and renovations if I wanna sell."

Jaune: Yeah, 'cause the houses are really nice, y'know, and-

Ruby: "Right now, I'm looking to lease with an option to buy." Like, they get really adult about it.

Jaune: Hahaha! "Yeah, I'm thinking, you know, it'll help build some equity and I think the ROI in ten years... It'll probably be... I wanna say, like..."

Ruby: "Ken is such an idiot! I told him to hire a lawyer before we go through escrow!"

Jaune: "I don't wanna get fucked by fees!"

Ruby: Heeheeheehee!

Jaune: HAHAHAHA!

Ruby: "Honey? It's time to stop playing with your dolls."

Jaune: "Play with the Dragon Ball figures, instead. Like your idiot sister."

Jaune: "And they'd go boom! A kaboosh! Bwaah! Bwerk! Kwah! And they crash into each other and smashes into rocks!"

Ruby: Snrk! Ken's like, "Barbie, I don't have a low sperm count! It's just, they have low motility!"

Jaune: "How is that better?!"

Ruby: "It's- I- I- There are pills I can take!"

Jaune: "Thanks for playing dollhouse with me~!"

Ruby: Yeah, and you're just sitting there in stunned silence.

Jaune: Ha ha ha ha!

Ruby: "With today's IVF advancements-!"

Jaune: "You know that doesn't work! I was just reading in GOOP the other day!"

Ruby: "It's worth a shot, at least!"

Jaune: "Is it two thousand lien worth a shot?! We have bills to pay, Ken!"

Ruby: "Maybe we wouldn't have so many bills to pay if you didn't run this god damned Malibu Dreamhouse 24/7!"

Jaune: "You always want the convertible! You want it custom-painted pink!"

Ruby: "Have you ever considered the climate implications on this dream car?!"

Jaune: "It's not even electric! You can see the gas intake right there!"

Ruby: "THAT'S BULLSHIT, KEN! ELECTRIC CARS STILL WORK OFF THE SAME GRID!"

Ruby: HAHAHA!

Jaune: HAHAHA!

Ruby: "Yeah, but they don't have emissions, Barbie! It's the best we can do, unless this society starts investing in trains and public infrastructure! That's all we can do!"

Jaune: "THEY TRIED, KEN! They tried in Mantle, and you know what? It was a FUCKING RED-TAPE BUREAUCRATIC DISASTER!"

Ruby: And your sisters are, like, "Can I go home?"

Jaune: HAHAHAHA!

Ruby: HAHAHAHA!

Ruby: "Barbie, that's why you need to run for office. You've been saying it your whole life, and you never do it."

Jaune: "...You know what, Ken? You're right."

Ruby: ...I love you.

Jaune: ...I love you.

Ruby: You can do anything.

Jaune: ...

Ruby: ...

Ruby: "Now let's have some tea!"

Jaune: Heh heh heh...

Jaune: MALIBU~! BARBIE DREAMHOUSE~!

Ruby: "Do you wanna be Ken now?"

Jaune: "Agh, well..."

Ruby: "You know, it's getting pretty late...

Jaune: "It's, like, three-thirty."

Ruby: "Can I bring Godzilla into this?"

Jaune: "Sure~! He can be who I'm running against for local office~!"

Ruby: "SKRREEEEEEEE! EEEEK-OOOONK~!"

Jaune: Now that I'd love to see.

Ruby: "Barbie, I want you to meet my new friend, Godzilla!"

Ruby: "Graaaaaagh!"

Ruby: "Oh my god! THE Godzilla?!"

Ruby: "Yeah, have you heard of him?"

Ruby: "HE'S WHO I'M RUNNING AGAINST~!"

Ruby: Boo-wooow-wow-wooow~!

Jaune: MALIBU~! BARBIE DREAMHOUSE~!

Jaune: Godzilla is running on a strong destroy the city platform.

Ruby: "I've gotta stop him~!"

Jaune: "And you know what? I say with all these politicians, I'd say they're all trying to destroy the city! AT LEAST HE'S HONEST ABOUT IT!"

Ruby: "He tells it like it is!"

Ruby: RAAAAAAAAAAAGHK!

Ruby: "Y'see?!"

Jaune: MALIBU~! BARBIE DREAMHOUSE~!

Jaune: ...What the fuck were we talking about before this?

Ruby: "Anyways, same time, 4PM?"

Jaune: "Yeah, sure..."

Ruby: "I'll bring Ghidorah..."

Jaune: "Ugh... Can't I just do homework instead?"

Ruby: "Can you bring the Technodrome with all the goop, too? I've got an idea..."

[heresthestorymorningglory]

Nightmares and Dreamscapes

Summary: It’s still not over…

A/N: My darlings! I am SO sorry this update has taken ages...life got in the way as it does...

As always, this NSFW 18+ should be par for the course at this point. So like….?

My beautiful partner in crime, my enabler, my soul sister @ken-dom without whom this continuation would not have happened….I thank you for your continued support and love and will forever relish in the fact that I’ve dragged you over to the Six side ;)

This is indeed a continuation of what I’ve affectionately titled the Nurse Series, read previous parts  here.

This was meant to be a TWO part series and Six just refuses to rest so here we are.

Enjoy my loves! <3

Weeks had passed and nothing. No Six, no Lloyd, no stop to the horrific nightmares. 

Night after night you screamed yourself and everyone else in the house awake. 

Some nights Becca was working the overnight shift at the hospital and Lars would be the one to come in and check on you, reassure you that it was only a nightmare, a bad dream, and everything was okay. 

Becca had kept him in the dark on purpose, to keep him safe. He would offer to stay with you, until you fell asleep again and the first handful of times when you refused, Lars would insist, 

“It always helped me fall back asleep when someone was there to watch for monsters” he smiled and you couldn't help but smile back. 

Sitting in the small armchair on the opposite side of the room, he would often doze off, snoring softly while you laid awake, hoping today would be the day Court came home. 

On the nights Becca was home, she would sit and listen to you ramble off the horrible things you had dreamt about. Reassuring you that Court would be careful, he'd had you back here waiting, he wouldn't jeopardize that for anything.

“He always calls,” you reasoned, sitting up in bed after the latest nightmare “Why hasn't he called?” 

“Maybe his phone died” She offered half jokingly 

“Becks” you whispered leaning back against the headboard 

“He's been gone longer than this without a call before” her hands collapsed in her lap “Why is this time so different?” 

“Because,” you sighed 

“Because you think he's hiding something from you”

“I know he is” 

“Based on what?” She asked “Help me understand”

“He's just…” you sighed “He's different,”

“Different how?” She pressed “Because from where was standing, it just looked like he didn't want you in danger”

“No Becks, it's more than that,” you leaned to pull open the nightstand drawer, fishing out a piece of paper before handing it to her. 

She unfolded it and you watched her brow furrow. “Tag, you're it?”

“Lloyd left it, for Court that day at the hospital” you explained “Court kept telling me that none of this was my fault.”

“Of course it isn't” she agreed and you shook your head 

“No, I mean, he kept putting emphasis on my fault. Like it's his fault somehow”

“How could it possibly be?”

You let out another heavy sigh. “I think Court lied to me,” you said, finally voicing the thought you'd had for weeks “His golden rule, number one above all else, no compromise, ever. No hospitals”

Becca nodded but stayed silent. 

“For as long as I've known him, since my residency, no hospitals. Ever. So why then?”

“He knew you were in danger” she sighed 

“Exactly, and then this,” you motioned to the note “What the hell does that mean, unless he's been playing this bullshit cat and mouse game with Lloyd all along?” 

Her face fell and she pressed her lips together in a hard line, she didn't have an answer. 

“Maybe wait for him to get back, give him a chance to explain himself before you resign him to cement blocks at the bottom of the river, okay?”

“He lied to me Becks” 

“He also saved your life,” she pointed out “Multiple times, not to mention that man is head over heels in love with you”

You shook your head and she scoffed with a laugh 

“I'm sorry, no? Is that what you're saying?” She looked at you in disbelief “I've had toddlers with more patience. I've never seen someone more worried about someone else than he was about you”

“Then why would he lie?” You asked softly 

“For the same reason I haven't told Lars the truth?” She offered “To keep you safe, keep you from worrying and sending yourself into a tailspin like you're doing now?”

“Lars is different, he doesn't realize what's going on, I do” 

“At least give him a chance to explain”

“Assuming he's not dead already” you muttered 

“Well if he's not and his reasoning wasn't because he's madly in love with you then you can take him out back and duke it out, Lars’ ax is back there” 

You scoffed offering her a tired smile. 

“Deal?”

You nodded “Deal.”

“Good” she smiled, pulling the blankets back “Now, back to bed”

You smiled settling under the blanket and she tucked you in as she stood from the edge of your bed. 

You turned over with a sigh, tucking your arm under your head as Becca made her way to the door. 

“Becks?” 

She turned on her heel “Hmm?” 

“Thanks” 

She waved her hand dismissively before disappearing down to her own bedroom 

***✨✨✨

Another two weeks had passed and still nothing. 

You sat at the breakfast table, a plate of french toast in front of you, untouched, your finger tracing over your tattoo as you were lost in thought. 

“Maybe she just took some to be polite?” Lars whispered, you still completely oblivious to the world around you 

“No darling, she's just…preoccupied”

“Hmm?” You looked up realizing where you were 

Becca smiled with a shake of her head “Nothing love” 

You picked at your plate eating the smallest of bites. 

You had tried to go back to work earlier in the week and had gotten as far as the threshold of the elevator before having a panic attack and going back home. 

You looked up as something caught Becca's attention and then Lars too. 

Turning in your chair you gasped seeing Six standing in the doorway. 

“Oh my god!” You jumped up from your place at the table, sending your chair clattering backwards to the floor. 

You threw yourself at him and he grunted painfully as your legs locked around his middle, wrapping his arms around you so tightly you thought your ribs would break. 

You squeezed back just as hard, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck; kissing every part of him you could reach. 

“I thought you were….I thought Lloyd” 

“Shhh” 

You breathed in his scent as tears streamed down your cheeks. The rest of the world melted away as you leaned back slightly to finally really look at him. 

“What happened to you?” You whispered, your thumb brushing over his bruised cheek. 

He shook his head “It doesn't matter”

You jumped when a chair scraped on the floor behind you and you remembered where you were. 

“We have to get to work,” Becca smiled “But you know where everything is to patch him up”

You nodded, still firmly wrapped around Six's frame 

“Good to see you back in one piece, John” she winked and Six just scoffed with a laugh 

“Bye” you smiled, resting your head on Six's shoulder who winced in pain 

The front door clicked shut and you slid from around his waist, your feet landing on the floor as you gave him the once over. 

“Are you hurt?” You asked, fingers feeling over his flesh, looking for any cuts or bruises. 

“No” he whispered 

You looked up meeting his eye “Are you lying to me?” 

“No,” he repeated with a gentle shake of his head. 

“Did you find him?” You asked and he let out a heavy sigh 

“Can we not?”

“Court…”

“No,” he shook his head “I don't give a fuck about Lloyd right now; you're safe, and that's all that matters”

“But he's still-” 

Six cut you off, claiming your lips in a deep kiss, you sighed against his mouth, leaning into him as his tongue tangled with yours. 

You moaned, letting him pull you closer, melting into his touch. 

He pushed you back against the table, making the breakfast dishes rattle. 

You pushed him back gently with a small laugh.  

“Not here” you shook your head. 

“Where then?” His breath hot against your neck making you shiver as he kissed along the length. 

You turned on your heel, threading your fingers together with his, pulling him towards the stairs. 

His other hand snaked around your waist as he nuzzled into the back of your neck. You giggled tripping up the stairs as he pulled you against him. 

“Court!” You shrieked as you reached the top, only for him to turn you to face him, pushing you against the nearest wall, pinning you there. 

You moaned as he peppered your face and neck with kisses, pulling your pajama top up over your head before dropping it at his feet. You leaned back against the wall as he sank to his knees, kissing a trail over your bare skin. Your fingers twisting in his thick blond hair as his lips pressed against the fresh scar on your stomach, lingering there a beat longer than the others. 

You pushed his hair back and your eyes met his as he looked up at you from under his long lashes. 

He dropped his eyes, focusing on his task, fingers curling under the waistband of your pajama shorts, tugging them off gently and you stepped out of them. 

Six got back to his feet and you whimpered in protest. 

He shushed you immediately, pulling you against him, before pushing you back toward the room you had made yours. 

You fell back on the mattress, pulling Six with you. 

He caught himself to keep from crushing you before picking up where he had left off. 

Six put himself between your legs, his warm hand gliding slowly up the length of your leg as it bent at the knee. 

You hummed with want as his nose slid up over your bent knee and he kissed along the inside of your thigh. 

Your fingers rethreaded through his hair as he moved closer to your core, his hands pushing your knees apart, making room for his broad shoulders as his fingers hooked around the waist of your panties, you lifted your hips as he tugged them off and tossed them over the edge of the bed. 

He kissed along the inside of your other thigh, making you whimper and tug a little harder on his hair, making him moan between your legs. 

You gasped, arching your back as his tongue licked between your folds, you thrust forward making him moan against your core. 

“God, Court” you moaned to the ceiling as his tongue moved skillfully 

Releasing his hair, your hands slid over his shoulders, pulling him to you. 

His weight was heavy on top of you as his lips met yours. You pulled his shirt up as far as you could manage before he pulled it off the rest of the way before he kicked off his pants. 

You dragged your fingers over his bare chest; old scars marked with fresh cuts. He brushed a chunk of hair off your face; his cock pressed hard against your thigh. 

“Make love to me” you whispered, cupping his cheek. 

He didn't need to be asked twice, he closed the gap between you, his tongue pushing between your lips, you met it with your own, moaning against his mouth. 

He eased himself inside you and you wrapped your legs around his waist, your arms around his neck as you moved together slowly on the bed. 

Your moans mingled together as he pulled back, moving to kiss the length of your neck, sucking none too gently on your collarbone, leaving a bright red hickey in his wake. 

You moaned as his teeth dragged over your overheated skin. Your bodies fit together like puzzle pieces as Six's hips moved with a rhythm, making you moan with each thrust. 

“I love you,” Six breathed against the shell of your ear, making you cry out, your eyes squeezing shut as you whimpered into his neck. 

“I love you too” you whispered “God Court, I love you so much” 

He moaned, thrusting harder, the bed frame creaking under your shifting weight. 

“Again” he whispered 

“I love you” you breathed, fingernails biting into the flesh of his shoulders. 

All at once you were filled with his release, your own orgasm tearing through your body. He crushed his lips against yours, soft and commanding as he slid from inside you, he pulled you against him, moving to lay where you had been; his arms protectively around you. 

Your fingers teased his bare flesh as you laid on his chest, his heart beating steadily in your ear. 

He brought your tattooed finger to his lips, kissing it gently before he collapsed his hand on top of yours, resting on his chest. 

“We're gonna have to talk about it eventually y'know” you spoke quietly 

He let out a heavy sigh but stayed silent. 

“Court, please” you pleaded “I've been going crazy for weeks”

He squeezed you gently with another sigh before he spoke. 

“Not now, alright?” 

“If not now then when?’ you propped yourself up to look at him and he wouldn't meet your eye. 

You flopped back down on the bed with a frustrated sigh when he didn't answer. “If I didn't know any better I'd say you were hiding something from me”

He propped himself up on his elbow leaning over you, his thumb stroking your cheek as he cupped your face. 

“But that's the thing Court,” you continued, your hand sliding along the length of his arm “I do know you, and I know you're keeping something from me” 

“I-”

“Don't you dare lie to me” you glared “You've known, this whole time…haven't you?” You asked “About Lloyd being alive”

He dipped his head to kiss you and you turned away “Answer me”

“Please,” he whispered “Let's not do this now” 

“Yes, Court!” You yelled “Let's do this, let's do this right now because you know what I think? I think the answer is yes” you snapped 

“It is, isn't it? You knew”

He dropped his head letting out a sigh before looking back at you. 

“Yes” he whispered 

You scoffed, shoving him off before climbing out of bed and pulling on your housecoat. 

“I can't fucking believe you” you muttered tying your robe closed as he pulled on his boxers. “How long have you known?”

You stood with your hands on your hips as he came around the end of the bed. 

“I don't-”

“HOW LONG COURT?!” 

“Since June” 

“June” you repeated with a small laugh shaking your head not wanting to believe the words coming out of his mouth. “So you found out, a month later, and didn't tell me?”

You stalked toward the door and Court grabbed your wrist turning you to face him. 

You wrenched your wrist free and slapped him hard across the face. 

“You lied to me for months!” You yelled before dropping your voice again “You watched me have nightmare after nightmare after-” 

“I know” he sighed 

“Do you?!” You snapped “I still wake up screaming because I watch you die, over and over and over again!” 

Your voice cracked with emotion before you continued. 

“You told me he would never hurt me again, he couldn't…do you remember that?!” 

“I remember “ he nodded slowly 

“Then why?” 

He closed the gap between you, reaching to pull you closer and you slapped his hands away; your eyes filling with tears. 

“I can't believe you didn't tell me” you cried, as he closed the distance, wrapping his arms around you; your fists beating against his chest. 

“I'm sorry” he whispered into your hair 

You cried into his chest and he held you tightly 

“We're supposed to be a team” you pulled back to look at him 

“I needed to keep you safe” 

“You needed to be honest with me” you sniffed as he wiped the tears from your face. 

“You're my wife,” he whispered “It's my job to keep you safe” 

“And you're my husband” you countered “It's my job to keep you safe too” 

“I can-”

“I don't care, Court!” You screamed “I don't care if you can take care of yourself! God!”

You turned on your heel “Don't follow me!” 

You stomped down the stairs and could feel Court's heavy footfalls behind you, following. 

“Fuck off, Court” you snapped, reaching the bottom 

“Hey!” He grabbed your shoulder, spinning you around to face him 

“I said, fuck off!”

“And I said I'm sorry” he growled, pulling you against him before thrusting you against the wall. 

You gasped as all the air rushed from your lungs. Court's weight pinning you to the wall, one hand gathering both of your wrists and pinning them over your head as he crushed his lips to yours. 

You pried your lips from his, gasping for air as his mouth latched on to your collarbone, sucking hard. 

You gasped, nails biting into your palms as Six's hips rolled into yours. 

You fought to pull your wrists free and Court squeezed harder, shaking his head. 

“Uh uh” he whispered, his breath hot against your cheek. 

You whimpered, going limp underneath him as his free hand slid under the robe and between your thighs: his fingers teasing your already sensitive folds. 

“Court” you cried “We can't do this here” 

“Looks like we already are” he whispered against the shell of your ear, as if to punctuate his point, two fingers thrust inside you, making you cry out. 

He pumped his fingers in and out, pushing you closer to the brink. 

His thumb pressed against that little bundle of nerves. 

His breath heavy against the shell of your ear. 

“Maybe I'll fuck you on the kitchen table then” he moaned “And you can explain all their broken dishes”

You shook your head “No….C-Court” 

He hummed appreciatively, nuzzling into your neck. “Again” His teeth scraping over your skin. 

“I'm still mad at you” you fought back a moan. Fighting to twist from under him; albeit half heartedly 

“Good” he growled deeply, his fingers pumping faster.  

“Court, please”

Another appreciative hum “And the best part,” he breathed “They'll never know I made you scream my name finger fucking you against their living room wall”

“God,” you breathed, your weight sinking further down the wall, but Court's hand kept you in one place. 

Your body started to shake and you had to make a conscious effort to stay standing. Your knees had other ideas, giving out from under you, Court's arm locking around your waist, but his fingers never stopped. 

He threaded your fingers together and you squeezed hard. Your other arm dropping to land heavy on his shoulder. 

You rocked against his hand, moaning into his shoulder before you pushed back against the wall, using it for leverage as you came hard. 

You stood up straight as Court pulled his hand from between your thighs and you tied your robe closed. 

You pushed around him without a word, gasping with surprise as he grabbed your waist, pulling you against him. Neither of you spoke before he kissed you again, your stomach exploded with butterflies as his tongue pushed between your lips, his mouth moved against yours, his arm wrapping around your back as you felt your knees falter; he only kissed you deeper, making your head spin. 

His teeth attached to your bottom lip, pulling gently before releasing his hold, making you gasp into his mouth. 

You turned out of his hold and he let you go, watching as you climbed the stairs. The throbbing between your thighs, a reminder of the insatiable need you had for him to be close. 

Pushing from your thoughts as best you could you climbed the stairs to the bathroom, feeling Court's eyes on your back the whole way. 

“I'm getting in the shower” you said without turning around

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

I Cherish You, Halcyon Days: i.

“You’re gonna die, kid. In the worst way possible.”

tags: afab!reader (she/her), angst, slow burn

pairing: gojou x reader + onesided!getou x reader

summary: You’re 15 years old when you’re told you’re going to die. You’re 17 years old when you realize who your killer will be. And you’re 17 years old when you make peace with the fact you wouldn’t want it any other way.

index | previous chapter | next chapter

"[First]... [First]. Hey wake up!"

You blink blearily, just barely catching your chin with your palm. "Sorry," you mumble, closing your eyes once more. You open them once more when Shoko raps her knuckles against your desk again. "'m still kinda out of it."

Yours was the start to a very trying day.

First and foremost, you overslept and missed breakfast.

You were still tired.

And most irritating of all, you had a headache ー you forgot to drink water before and after going to bed, sue you.

While you're still cognizant, you whip out your phone to text your friends. What a waste, you sigh. There aren't any missions to go on today either. Originally your plan was to head out once classes were over for the day and meet up with your non-sorcerer friends in the city. Eat at Johnny's, maybe go to an arcade and watch a movie with the money you had leftover. With how you're feeling presently though, you much preferred laying down and immediately going to sleep. "This sucks," you fail to fight back on a yawn. "I wanted to see what's been going on with everybody from my old school too." You yawn again.

Me: I'm not gonna be able to make it, sorry. Can we meet up another time instead? Have fun without me (T^T)

Chinatsu: aww that sucks. Do you think you'll be free next weekend? We can do something for your birthday!

Your smile is small yet doubtful as you text back an 'I promised my aunt that I'd visit her next weekend to celebrate so it might be a while til then.'

If there's one simultaneous benefit and drawback to attending Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College, it's that your schedule is sporadic enough that you it's never consistent what you might be doing on a day-to-day basis let alone week-to-week. Some mornings you'll find out classes are canceled for the next few days and other times you think you're home free to bullshit for the weekend only for Fujioka-sensei to pop up and say you and Shoko have a mission that'll take up the entirety of your free time. As far as your old friends from Tsubame High were concerned though, you somehow got yourself a scholarship for a bigshot religious school with a limited number of students and hellish expectations for said students.

"Look at [First] getting herself into some fancy rich kid private school," Tooru said when you broke the news to your friends you'd known since middle school that you'd be transferring to Tokyo Jujutsu Tech.

Chinatsu: Look at [First], not having too much time for the little people!

"It's pretty unusual for you to sleep in," Shoko's comment brings you out of your nostalgic stupor.

Me: Yeah who are you again?

"Yeah, I know," once you quickly type in your reply, you finally shove your phone back into your pants pocket. If there's a definitive benefit to attending Tokyo Tech, it's the customizable uniforms. You went for the boys uniform at this particular school. It felt like it would be the most practical decision when you'd be running around fighting cursed spirits. And with it being fall, the winter solstice being a couple weeks away, wearing pants felt like the best long term investment you could have come up with. Not to mention, you looked good in it. "It's not like I had any trouble getting to sleep though."

"Bad dream?"

"I don't know I can't remember it," you shrugged trying to recall whatever it was you were dreaming about. It's all hazy, not even the most significant parts scratching at your brain coming through the fog. "I don't think it was bad though. Maybe it was about my husband. I'm still mad they killed off his character in Anaconda 2 last year, can you believe that shit? He was the finest dude in the movie!" When you hear a snicker coming from your right, you shoot a glare towards the culprit with snowy white hair. "Like Inoue Waka even knows who you are, please shut up."

"At least my celebrity crush lives in my country," Gojou snickers back with a shit-eating grin. "Running into Morris Chestnut in Japan? Doesn't seem all that likely. Ah the delusions of young children."

"You are literally only two days older than me, you are making this way too big a deal."

Although Suguru releases a breath of exasperation, there's a smile gracing his features. "Well you can't be that tired if the two of you can bicker like this. Just try not to tear each other apart next week when the party hits. It's your special day after all."

Ah yes, the party. The brilliant idea that the first and second year teachers, Fujioka and Yaga, came up with on the fly yesterday on December 1st.

When you were told that there was a small number of students at this school, you didn't realize how little there would be going in. Among the first year students, you're quite literally only one of four. The previous second year student, Okita, died two months ago leaving the current number of second year students at 0. There's quite literally only two third year students in Utahime and Mei Mei. And as for 4th year students, there is only one ー Yamada.

The ratio of non-jujutsu sorcerer to sorcerer was shockingly out of balanced if there were only seven students at your school. Because of that, the teachers made sure to celebrate every student's birthday. A party, cake, presents, the whole shebang. No class, no missions. Just a day of setting up the dorms for a party while the one turning a year older had to either leave campus and wander around until it was time for their party, or sit around doing nothing around campus until someone came to get them.

It wasn't too long ago when you were all celebrating Shoko's birthday on the 27th of last month.

It was her party with her cake and her presents.

But you? The teachers had a special idea in mind for you. Because in a school of seven students where two of them were born within days of each other, why have two separate parties when you could make it one and cheapen the cost?

One party with one cake and a mixture of presents for you both to tear open at the same time.

Gojou is December 7th.

You're December 9th.

They'll just celebrate both on the 8th and call it a day.

When it came down to it, you understood the principle behind the plan. You could even get behind it. It's just that if somewhere to ask if you liked Gojou Satoru, your answer would be an irrevocable 'no'.

Hell, you'd answer 'no' even if no one did ask.

Gojou Satoru is impossible for you to like from his stupid sunglasses to his shit-eating grins. Even worse is his arrogance. Because apparently, there's no one in the world of jujutsu you were scouted into that didn't know who Gojou Satoru is. Born merely two days before you, Gojou Satoru's birth changed the state of the jujutsu world. "He's basically like the jujutsu sorcerer version of Jesus," Shoko explained when you asked why everyone seemingly made a big deal over him.

I don't like him at all.

You're the odd man out in your class, though, you begrudgingly force yourself to accept all over again during lunch. Despite your less than stellar review of the boy, Suguru and Shoko got along just fine with him.

Gojou had always been obnoxious about the fact you were born a couple days after him when you found out you shared a month of birth. It is just that with your birthdays being right around the corner of next week, he is being especially intolerable. He even came to wake you up this morning when you overslept, forcing Gojou Satoru and his blue eyes that were partially obscured by his sunglasses to be the first thing you saw that morning. Clearly a premonition that today was going to be a mess when he all but sang "morning, junior, you're gonna be late to class at this rate!"

By the gods, I wanna punch him so much. I don't care if he's Jujutsu Jesus, he just thinks he's hot shit because he has blue eyes.

At the very least, you can rest easy in knowing the fact that the feelings of dislike are mutual.

Gojou Satoru is strong, it's an irrefutable fact no matter how much you'd like to deny it. He's strong and in turn, the strong are the only ones Gojou respects. You apparently don't make the cut.

And that's fine. Strength came in all sorts of ways. (An argument the two of you have already had with one another where Suguru said you both would just have to agree to disagree.) You disliked Gojou Satoru but you could live with the fact that, at the very least, you were going to be stuck together for four years. Because even if he was strong, life sometimes paid you back with small moments of grace where someone put the golden boy of the Gojou Clan in his place.

"Just so you know, Takamatsu Akira is visiting again," Shoko's voice pulls you back into the present.

You raise an eyebrow at the unfamiliar name, "never heard of 'em."

"He's a sorcerer that can see glimpses of a person's future when he looks at them," Suguru answers in her stead over a sip of his oi ocha. "He's apparently at the school today for some sort of meeting."

"Hands off the goods," your eyes widen in amazement as you quickly smack away Gojou's hand from your lunch. "Really? And it's all accurate too?"

"He's a major asshole, though," the white-haired boy hisses with a pout. You roll your eyes. I'm not sure how reliable your words are if you of all people are calling someone an asshole. Your incredulousness must show on your face because Gojou's next words are, "seriously! He only tells people he thinks have interesting futures anything about it."

"And?"

"Satoru's just mad because apparently his future isn't interesting," Suguru smirks, smugly welcoming his best friend's unamused side eye. "He told me about mine though."

You bite back a snort when your curiosity to know Suguru's fortune wins. "What did he say about it?"

Suguru touched his chin thoughtfully, recalling back the day he met the seer. "He said that one day I'll be stuck at a crossroads between two paths and make a life changing decision," he pauses dramatically and you lean forward in anticipation. "That's all he told me though."

Damn it.

The brown-eyed boy chuckles but he shoots you a look of amused sympathy, "he never really tells you too much about it apparently. I was disappointed too."

"Did he ever tell you anything about your future, Shoko?" You ask your class' resident slacker.

Shoko shook her head, bob gently moving with her. "I'm one of the boring ones too," she says with a lazy wave of her hand. "Like Gojou."

"Don't worry, my friends," Suguru places a hand over his chest and bows with far too much grace and humility. "I alone will shoulder the burden of having an interesting future. Unlike Satoru."

You choke, unable to stop yourself from chortling this time. Whatever Gojou sputters in his self-defense, you don't hear it over the sound of your own laughter. "Maybe he'll tell me about my future too," you sigh when your giggles subside. You sincerely doubt it, but it's fun to think about the possibilities. I want an interesting life plot twist, like the reveal I'm actually a long-lost member of some royal family he just won't tell me which one.

"He'll probably stop by because you're here," Shoko rests her chin on her palm. You were the newest in your class, starting a month later than the rest. "He likes seeing if new students will have interesting futures ahead of them."

"Don't get too excited, [First]," Gojou quickly rains on your parade with a lot of arrogance for someone whose future is apparently so boring a seer won't even talk to him about it. "I'm the most interesting person in this place and he won't even talk to me. So who knows what sort of reaction you'll get."

"Oh quit being bitter that your future is gonna be boring, asshole," before any other quips and gripes can be exchanged, the class door slides open abruptly. You look over with a start, wondering if it's your teacher when you see it isn't. The man is a bit younger than Yaga but his hair is already graying and his eyes are a deep green reminiscent of pine trees. You have a feeling you already know who it is and grin. "You wouldn't happen to be Takamatsu Akira, would you? Gojou here was telling me about his boring future soー" you stop yourself with a shudder when you blinked and realized that man was in front of your face and much too close for comfort.

"Now that is something," the man blinks owlishly, eyes almost glowing in his amazement.

Your discomfort flies away faster than a seagull with someone else's lunch, "really?"

The man leans back with a grin and a snap of his fingers, "really, really."

With that you look at Gojou and stick out your tongue and he sticks his tongue in return.

[First] 1, Gojou 0.

Suguru chuckles and Shoko grins and all the while, Gojou flicks your forehead too quickly for you to react. "Look, hater, it isn't my fault that your future's boring, quit trying to rain on my parade," you snicker, batting your eyelashes. "Mr. Takamatsu, I'd really appreciate it if you could tell me about my future if you don't mind. Before the naysayers get more butthurt than they already are."

"You're gonna die, kid."

With four words, your blood freezes and you find yourself blinking once, twice slowly. It's the matching looks of shock and surprise on your classmates' faces that tells you you heard Takamatsu correctly. Stiffly, you look back at the seer hoping for that revelation to be nothing but a joke, but instead you find yourself looking at a maniacal grin. That grin feels more like a knife in your gut. "In the worst way possible."

The knife sinks deeper into your flesh, twisting.

"Hey," out of the four of you, Gojou is the one who finds his voice first.

Takamatsu ignores the boy with snow white hair as if he's nothing but a minor breeze, "But," he beams like he's only told you that he found a discount at the convenience store. "Because I like you so much, I'll let you ask three questions about it."

"O-okay," you stammer almost instinctively. Like a zombie, you find yourself stumbling onto your feet and Takamatsu nods at the door. These answers will be for you and you alone. You aren't sure what expression you wear on your face as you exit, nor the expressions of your peers. You can't bring yourself to look at them as you follow the future-seeing sorcerer into the halls of your school.

I'm going to die.

I'm going to die.

In the worst way possible.

It's only once you're relatively alone that the seer halts his walking in the middle of the hall to look at you. "Feel free to ask your questions," he tells you. "Your classmates shouldn't be able to hear, even if they keep looking out the door. So ask away," he reassures you, waving his hand nonchalantly.

You glance to your left and sure enough there are three heads leaning out of the door, staring straight at you both. You can't bring yourself to smile reassuringly before you return your gaze to the sorcerer in front of you.

Three questions.

Your first question can only be so obvious. "Howー how do I die?"

Takamatsu's amusement is sapped from his face at that question. "Really?" He yawns with a shake of his head. "That's what you're going to ask? That's quite boring."

Boring? Boring?! It's my life! "Yeah but-"

"You know what, fine," Takamatsu sighs, crossing his arms. He recalls his vision in his mind for a moment before he opens his lips. "You're going to be killed by someone precious to you. Ask me something more… riveting this time."

You blink slowly.

You're going to be killed by someone you care about.

When do I die?

Was it an accident?

On purpose?

Why would they want to kill me?

You don't think those are questions Takamatsu will find intriguing in the slightest. In a panic, you ask the most original question that enters your brain. "Do I die… angry at them?" No. Fucking. Shit, me. "Wait, that was dumb don't answer th-"

"Nope, it counts," Takamatsu clicks his tongue. Maybe it's payback for your first question being so predictable and unoriginal. "And my answer for that is no. Your heart will surprisingly bear no anger towards the person who kills you." A revelation that shakes you to the core. "Well, one question left to go, kid. No more mess ups, I'll take it even if it's something as a dumb as a repeat question."

"Okay, okay," you exhale nervously, biting your lip. I need to think.

You know yourself.

You're selfish at times, who isn't? If it really came down to it though, you know you'd always put someone else's life over your own. You can talk big, you can snort when you watch a movie and say 'yeah sorry, they'd be stuck on their own. I'm not dying in a situation like that, I'd wanna go home'. But you know yourself enough to know that despite thinking it, your feet would inevitably turn towards the other person. Maybe you'd die in the end but you know you'd try your damnedest to get them out.

Why else would you put yourself on the line fighting curses?

Curses were scary.

You'd seen them you're entire life, unable to explain why or what they are to the people around you. Some were tall, some were small and some were so grotesquely horrifying that it made Sadako and Freddy Kreuger look like kittens. Being able to literally shield yourself from them were a saving grace when Rejection came in. Those curses didn't attack often, no they mostly just hung about before choosing some random poor soul to haunt. You just didn't want one touching you or your parents.

Things got a bit better when they sent you to Japan for the summer with your aunt. Apparently that's what happens when you live in a country with a more stable and organized force of jujutsu sorcery. Or maybe it was, begrudgingly, because living in the home court of Jujutsu Jesus kept some curses from wilding out the way they did in your home country.

Either way, your parents relented when you begged for them to let you continue living in Japan with your aunt.

That's how you were prepared for the night your class' test of courage went to shit when a curse showed up and miraculously kept the list of mortal casualties at zero.

But I'd like to think that in a life or death fight where it's me or them, I'd choose me. You shake your head pushing the thought to the side. You almost forgot the most important detail. Your killer will be someone who matters to you. But I won't be mad about it. If it was life or death, I'd choose me. I know that. Stranger on the street or a lifelong sworn enemy. And I know if I was killed by someone I apparently care about, I'd definitely be bitter about it. I'm not that forgiving.

Future you isn't in agreement. Your eyes turn to the ground.

Is it a life or death fight situation or an accident? You open your mouth briefly before closing it again.

They're precious to me.

They're someone I care about.

But I won't be angry.

I mustn't have been trying that hard then, you wet your lips as a light bulb flickers deeply in the recesses of your mind. You couldn't have been. How else could your future self's lack of anger be justified? One day, there will be someone you care for so greatly that even in a life or death battle, you'd still choose them.

You raise your head to look into dark green eyes dancing with amusement, a grin accompanying them. The grin morphs from clear to distorted at the welling of tears in your eyes. I wasn't trying. "I must really love this person, don't I?"

Takamatsu's grin grows even wider, eyes flashing in pleasant surprise. "Yeah," he leans against the wall, crossing his arms. "It seems like you do."

Tears roll down your cheeks like streams into a river yet your arms hang loosely at your side. "That's three questions then," you murmur, throat constricting. You inhale slowly, hold your breath and release before wiping your eyes. "Thank you for answering my questions, Mr. Takamatsu. Lunch is gonna be over soon, so I'm gonna go finish eating now."

You bow before turning on your heel back to your class, your classmates are still there. You don't really care to receive their pity or empathy.

"I'm gonna die, it's gonna suck and that's all he really told me," you say before anyone can ask.

It's hours after classes have ended for the day and you're cooking in the communal kitchen when you see Gojou again.

"Hey," Gojou says and his tone is so serious it startles you. You set your knife down on the cutting board before looking at him. His face doesn't seem right to you and it dawns on you a second later it's because he's frowning and it's not the usual childish frown you're used to seeing. "Don't take what that guy said seriously. Like I said, he's an asshole. He was probably saying all of that to freak you out." There's a pause and Gojou scratches the back of his head, looking uncomfortable in his skin. "So don't, like, cry about it. Takamatsu's a prick."

"Are you," you squint, looking Gojou over suspiciously. "Trying to make me feel better or something in your own weird Gojou way?"

"Someone has to make sure you aren't drowning in their sorrows," Gojou returns to his usual brand of cocky, with a grin. His sunglasses slide down, revealing playful eyes.

"I don't want the comfort then," you roll your eyes and return to chopping your vegetables. "Besides, I don't need it anyways, I'm strong."

"Eeeeh."

Asshole.

"We had this argument before that there's different kinds of strong, you jackass," you argue for argument's sake knowing it's a moot point to argue with someone who vehemently believes otherwise. Apparently he thinks belief in philosophical kinds of strongs is how the weak comfort themselves.

You vaguely notice that in spite of your annoyance, your shoulders aren't stiff and your jaw is loose. Apparently Gojou is good for something, after all. "Strong looks different for different people. A kid is strong when they act tough after tripping. A grown man crying and being open with his emotions is strong," you recount some of the ways you've seen people be strong in your life. You've witnessed strength in various ways in your 15 years of living. "… Even just living despite how hard it can be is strong. But it's whatever, I already know you think that's a load of self-comforting weak crap, don't feel like arguing about it."

Save for the sound of you cutting green celery and the light simmer of the pan, silence falls over the two of you.

"What did you guys talk about when he said you could ask him questions?" Gojou finally asks.

"… nothing important," you mutter back.

ー

When you wake up at 4:30 in the morning the next day, knowing full well there was going to be physical education that day, you decide to ditch class.

index | previous chapter | next chapter

Extra

In the oneshot I somehow fucked up the timeline by one year. In reality, Gojou was a 1st year in 2005 not 2004.

Also, in the oneshot I said the reader was the baby of the class. I was wrong again. Suguru was actually born in '90, not '89, like I originally assumed. Thus, he's actually the baby of the class. So I removed all mentions of the reader being the class baby. Still, you're younger than Gojou by two days so he is still rather insufferable about that, much to your chagrin.

Compared to the oneshot, now that there is more extended time to look into such things, there will be dives into the reader's non-sorcerer origins, family and friends. I would like to note that the reader isn't from Japan originally in terms of her nationality, but that will be covered in future chapters. Regardless, the reader is ethnically ambiguous for the self-insert convenience!

[yun-jin-noona]

When you wake up next to him (in the middle of the night)

.

It wasn't invited in, you promise.

But...it wasn't necessarily shooed away either.

Mark was a dick, he knew it, you knew it, everyone outside the relationship also knew it. He wasn't like that from the start, he was a nice man- romantic gestures and dates were aplenty, and he never asked for more than he gave.

Then he pulled a ring out.

It was a complete 180 after the engagement, it was like he was someone different- someone far, far worse.

Now it's happened again. But this time it's...strange.

Mark seems to have forgotten a whole lot. About you, about him, about us. He always denied it when his abuse was brought up, but now its like...he genuinely can't remember?

Not to mention his speech is so...weird, now. Stunted, as if he somehow had a stroke that nobody knew about.

But the change is fine, he doesn't hurt you anymore- doesn't hurl insults for the smallest things, doesn't stop you from going out, he's even letting you make new friends! Well, letting is a strong word, he actually isn't stopping you at all.

But today, he just seemed...off. He was twitchy, but also lethargic. His posture was worse and he seemed not to talk so much.

You thought he was just having an off day, but then you heard something outside- it sounded like an animal, crying out.

You're not sure why you felt compelled to investigate, maybe to save the creature if you could?

The sight that was presented was...not anything you'd imagined, not in your wildest dreams.

The raccoon was dead, yes. But hunched over it was...Oh my god, is that Mark?

But he's different, his body is contorted, it looks broken, and- oh hell, did tentacles just come out of his goddamn back?

He, it- whatever the fuck, turns to you as you begin to dry heave, its a miracle nothing came up, really.

"Sorry...sorry...you weren't.. supposed to...see...this." He says. Its not Marks voice anymore, but it also...sort of is?

You don't know what's going on, but when he begins to rise and step closer to you, everything goes black.

You wake up the next morning, still cuddled close to what has to be Mark, there's no way he's anything else. It's not as if there's actually something out there that snatches people's bodies and pretends to be them and-

"Good morning sleepyhead~"

Speak of the devil.

"How'd you sleep? I think you had a nightmare last night, do you want to talk about it, love?"

Bullshit. No way that was a dream. Your throat still hurts from trying to evacuate yoru stomach contents.

"I...I can't quite remember, sorry."

He frowns- more like pouts, comically, and kisses the top of your head, patting your side gently where his arm curls around you.

"C'mon, at least let me make you breakfast, I went to the butchers on the way home yesterday- what do you say to some sausage?"

"I think I'll pass, my stomach doesn't feel quite right- I'll just have some toast."

He looks genuinely concerned. "Oh? Do you want me to go pick up some medicine?"

"No- I'm sure it's nothing, just feel uneasy is all."

Mark pets your head with his other hand. "My poor sweetheart, take it easy then today, alright? If you need anything, call me, work isn't as important as you."

He seems genuine. He seems to care. You almost think he loves you again.

"Alright, thank you."

You swear you can hear a cracking as he gets up out of bed- it's probably just his spine, right?

[kkurisuac]

𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲

Sypnosis: a suicidal girl meets the boy who saved her

Pairing: Baji Keisuke x Fem!Reader

Warning: depression, suicide

It's cold. I'm cold. I can't breathe. Someone is talking, but I don't understand what. My eyes are so heavy.

My head hurts. It's so hard to breathe. Where am I? Why is everything white here? This is definitely a hospital, but what am I doing here?

"Are you awake?" asked a boy with long black hair. I raised my eyes to him and suddenly everything came to me. I wanted to commit suicide. But even that didn't work.

"Are you feeling okay?" he continued to ask, but I just started looking at the ceiling.

I remember now. I walked into the sea to drown. I wasn't fully conscious anymore, I almost made it, but someone lifted me out of the water. I don't remember completely, but I felt someone holding me and trying to wake me up with no success. So that would be the boy.

"Why did you save me?" I asked him the question, not very nicely.

"Because you were drowning?!"

"That was the point."

"Oh, well, sorry I didn't let you die, next time I'll watch from a distance." he said wryly.

"You'd be doing a favour for me."

"You're welcome by the way, no thanks necessary." he left me alone. Of course, let me be the one to blame.

I just want to be dead already.

I was discharged from the hospital and went home, where I was immediately yelled at for where I was. No, they didn't ask me where I was, how I was. Again, the point was not to ruin the family's reputation.

"Why can't you behave yourself? Look at your sister, she'd never do that!" shouted Dad.

"She studies normally, she works, she helps your mother at home, she does voluntary work and she's smart and pretty too. But that's less true of you." he continued to shout at me.

"Tell Y/n where were you last night?"

"I wanted to commit suicide." I declared, and my father laughed at me.

"Y/n how many times do I have to tell you not to draw attention to yourself like that! Follow your sister and believe me everyone will know about you."

Enough. Stop it.

I refused to listen any longer to how much better my sister was, so I went to my room instead.

I looked in the mirror and saw the same girl I saw every day. The girl I want to kill because her existence is useless. She'll never be good enough for anyone because she's an insignificant little girl. She's not even pretty, she's not smart, she doesn't stand out, she's not even average. Her parents don't like her, then others even more so. No one would even notice if she died.

I went down to my family's for dinner and hoped to get away with all kinds of bullshit today. But a night like this only exists in my dreams, because I'm the target of the whole family.

"Y/n you're not having this for dinner tonight." Mom said like she was normal.

"What? Why?" I asked, because I didn't understand what was going on.

"You've put on a few pounds lately so you can't be seen in public. You need to lose a few kilos."

"Look at your sister's beautiful figure. If you ate normally and exercised, you could be as beautiful as your sister."

Enough. Stop saying that.

Since I was in no mood for anything, I went back to my room and listened to music.

Why was I born? What have I done to be treated like this? Why doesn't my own family love me? Why am I alive?

"Miss, would you like some dinner?" knocked one of the maids.

"Aren't my parents having dinner or something?" I asked, because I don't normally get that question.

"Your parents and your sister are eating at a restaurant today. And they asked me to give you this." he handed me a little piece of paper with Dad's handwriting on it.

'We're off to celebrate your sister's graduation, we won't be home till late. Learn, so that next time we celebrate you.'

My father is so nice. They left me out of this one too. Not so surprising, I think.

I wanted to kill myself for two weeks. It's time to try again, maybe this time I'll succeed.

Walking down the dark street, waiting for a car to come and hit me. First and last time I would finally get lucky.

"You again?!" a motorbike stopped in front of me. Right in front of me, so I didn't even get a scratch.

"I can't die because of you again?!" I saddened.

"Alright, why do you want to die so badly?" he asked rather nervously.

"It's none of your business."

"Where are you going now? To hang yourself? Or what will you try next?"

"That's a good idea. I'm going to get some rope."

Taking my hand, he wouldn't let me take a step.

"Let go of me. Don't interfere with my suicide attempt."

"Why would a girl like you want to die? And answer me normally!" he squeezed my hand a little.

"Don't take your anger out on me." I took my hand away. I wanted to end the conversation, but he stopped me.

"You want to take your anger out with me instead of committing suicide?"

"I'd rather be suicidal." I replied without thinking. "But before that, it doesn't sound bad. What are we going to do?"

When I agreed I hadn't fully thought it through, but I felt that there could be no harm in it, after all, I was leaving this world anyway.

"Are we really going to set a car on fire? How legal is that?" "Not at all" he handed me a match. I was a little unsure about what we were doing, but it seemed exciting to do it.

As soon as the boy said I could do it I dropped the match and the car started burning nicely. I had no idea it would feel so liberating.

"I am Baji Keisuke."

"Y/n."

"Now that we've committed a crime together, will you tell me why you want to die?" he looked at me seriously. Sighing heavily, I gave in and quickly began to summarize my life.

"I'm an accidental child raised by a foster woman because my parents put work first and I found out at a young age how untalented I am, unlike my sister. She's good at everything, really. She dances, she studies, she works, she competes, she volunteers, she's beautiful, she's smart, she has everything to be perfect. But I'm not. That's it." I was satisfied with that, but as I could see Baji is not satisfied.

"Every day I'm told how much better my sister are, that I'm useless, that nobody cares about me. They always compare me to my sister. Today, for example, they went to celebrate my sister's birthday, leaving me at home to study. It's terrible to be born into a rich family where fame comes first." I finished.

Baji sat in silence for a while waiting for me to speak.

"Is that reason enough to commit suicide?"

"No. It may be bad now, but if you commit suicide, you will never know what the future would have been. You might meet someone close to you who will help you realize how wonderful you are."

"We just set a random car on fire, how did you get so serious now?" I asked, laughing slightly.

"Hey, don't laugh at me." he said to me.

"I've never thought about the future."

"Then maybe now would be a good time."

"And tell me, can you help? I mean, save me when I'm about to commit suicide?" I asked, completely serious, and he agreed

"You told me not to commit suicide because I never know what the future holds. It's a bit ironic, isn't it Baji?"

"I came to your grave, not the other way around." I put the flower down in front of him.

"Six months ago you saved me when I needed it. Why didn't you let me save you too? Why did you commit suicide? That was my role."

"Thank you for saving me every time, but tell me I can commit suicide now? I'm not interested in a future that doesn't include you. Baji, I want to be with you." I wiped my eyes, but my tears didn't stop for a moment.

It was because of him that I had been able to survive so far, but he chose to go ahead. However, I can't leave him alone, so it's time to go after him.

[jcollinswrites]

JC!!!!!!!

I loved the update ommmg. I love how different the route is. Your variations are beautiful. From MCs sister to choosing if we were married before. I adored it.

I died of embarrassment at spilling the wine because bruhhhhh. I also just loved the description of MC telling them everything wrong with the security in the palace. It made me alil smug for my MC 😍

I hate the stupid creepy priest! Death to his dumbass 💀😭

I have a question tho. So seeing as we can choose our sexuality. How are same sex couples viewed in the kingdom? Should i expect some bullshit from people? And also how would that apply to the King especially. It's a two part question.

1. Could they marry someone of the same gender? Especially when it comes to shit like carrying on bloodlines being so important to nobles 😒 or would he have to take on a concubine 🙄 imagine your husband going to go sleep with some random chick while you wait for him to come back. Kill me please 😭😭😭

But i know that's how some things just are.

2. How would they react to an MC on the thief background especially romancing the king. Bet the nobles would loooooovvveeeeee that!

Okay I'm so sorry for this longass message 🫣🫣🫣

Oh you read it! ^^ I was awaiting your comment with bated breath O.O (lol jk..... or am I? o.o)

I put some variations in the code that are unique to every origin :D For example the noble has the widower variable, the thief has the option to have higher dreams in life, the captain will be able to decide if they are a war veteran, and I haven't decided the priest yet (:

Now I'm gonna go on a huge ramble about the marriage/sexuality, so I'll put it under a wrap 😅 You don't have to read it unless you are interested lol cuz it's gonna be looong... (consider yourself warned)

Okay, so according to my knowledge, in Ancient Egypt, married life and sexuality in general was a bit of a taboo in public. You could do whatever you wanted, at home, in private. We have a lot of documents from that time that describe that couples were actually very affectionate towards each other and had a healthy sex life, but they didn't really make it a big deal in public. (unless you were gossiping with your bff maybe)

Marriage wasn't a very official thing either, like it is now. They didn't really have weddings. When the bride moved in with the groom, they signed a contract, and bang, they were considered married. Anyone could get a divorce too. The most popular reason was infertility or cheating, but women could initiate divorce as well based on whatever reason.

Now, a lot of historians in the past (and even today) would look at an ancient document describing f.ex. "two women living together with a child and a cat", and they would go 'aww they must have been such good friends'. Like...... you know....? Friends. Riiiight...

On that note, no, people in the story won't give you crap about it because it always happened, in every age, we just nowadays tend to make it into this huge deal, as if everything other than heterosexuality has just been invented yesterday. A lot of ancient societies were so much more accepting than we are today. (just think of the Greek or Romans)

The carrying on the bloodline thing is an interesting question. There is a funny debate between historians about Ramesses II's children. Because according to original sources, he had around a hundred. They all had the title 'prince' or 'princess', and others like 'Beloved Son of the King', 'Beloved Daughter' and stuff like that. Most historians think that proves that they were all biological children. Others say he might have just adopted a lot of kids and gave them the title. We can't know for certain which one is true. It could be a mix.

In my not-expert opinion, if Egyptians accepted divorce and stuff, they probably accepted full-on adoption as well. Even as an 'official' way to continue a bloodline. Nobles could have one official wife, plus keep concubines if they wished (IF they wished, they didn't necessarily do it), then the couple had the option to 'adopt' any kid from a concubine and raise them as their own. We also know for certain that an heir didn't have to be even related to the king to inherit the throne. This didn't happen often, but it happened. (Ramesses I was just a friend of the previous king f.ex.)

This problem won't come up with Narmer though because he already has an adult child. And the noble MC is a thirdborn, their older siblings all have children, so the bloodline is already secured. Captain MC has two mothers, living together, like "very good friends" *wink wink*. Priest MC is an orphan.

For your second question, most of the story is going to take place on the road, sort of like a quest thing, and by the time MC & Co. come back to Thebes, MC won't be a 'nobody' anymore. I planned lots of different endings based on your previous choices, but rest assured, even if you play a thief origin, you can have a happy ending with Narmer. If you play a woman, he could even make you Queen Consort. For a guy or non-binary MC, he'll give you some bullshit title named 'Beloved Companion' or something and be done with it.

Sorry for the awfully long answer lol this is a subject I'm passionate about 😅 Thanks for reading and please continue to send messages! ^^