#i was losing my mind realizing how similar it was in terms of like. certain lines / convos

[raayllum]

1)

“Hey,” the Moonshadow elf says, swinging back around for a moment. Her pack follows the motion, slung unevenly over one shoulder. “You’re a criminal, aren’t you?” “I prefer to think of it as high risk trading,” Nyx sniffs. “If someone wanted information around here,” Rayla asks, “where would they go?” A beat. “What sort of information?” “The dark mage black market.” Rayla’s expression shifts like the sand, hard and unforgiving. “I know it’s here. They use soulfangs for all sorts of things.” She’s even heard they use soulfangs to make coin prisons, although she’s never seen one in person.

X

She only had to think on Scumport’s reputation to imagine a multitude of possible answers. Rayla had only heard of the place after months of sniffing around for clues, and even then the name only came in whispers from loosened tongues. The town was a hub of Xadia’s most unscrupulous denizens: hunters, pirates, and thieves. With the Border open, humans of similar stripes had found their way to Scumport’s all-too-welcoming docks, too—and with them came dark mages.

2)

Rayla stows her swords away, and Nyx flashes the merchant a charmingly apologetic grin. “You wouldn’t mind keeping quiet about that little outburst and not spreading it along to other merchants for a feather, would you?” If news spreads, of course, other merchants down the river and other branches of the market won’t want to talk to them, and then whatever Rayla is so desperately (and angrily) chasing will be even harder to find. 

X

“There was someone on a ship that should’ve docked here this morning,” Rayla told him, her voice low. “A human man. A dark mage—” “I sell charms,” the merchant growled. “Won’t find what yer lookin’ for here.”

3)

“So just go home,” Rayla snaps. “You’re not wanted here—” “Well I’m not wanted there either,” Nyx says. “And I don’t want to go back.”

X

“Don’t worry,” the other elf said, holding up her hands in a vague apology. “When one of our kind washes up in Scumport, well…they’re rarely in good standing back home.” Rayla caught her meaning. “So, you’re… also…?” “Of course. For…” she chewed her lip and counted on her fingers. [...] “What did you do?” “Nothing I regret.” Rayla blinked. Redfeather eyed her and swung herself back into a sitting position, her boots thudding against the floor. “Don’t tell me you’re still hung up on what’s behind you. Listen—if they hadn’t made me a Ghost I wouldn’t have ended up here.” Rayla glanced skeptically around the dim room. “Don’t make that face!” Redfeather laughed. “This is all a gift, once you learn to see it that way. It’s freedom—don’t you feel it? Why else would you be in Scumport?”

4)

They’re silent for a long time, until: “I left him.” Nyx opens her eyes and looks over at Rayla to find the kid looking back at her, across the flames. Her eyes are open and alert, her voice tight, like she’s numbed her tongue and the feeling, but the words cut through and hurt in spite of her best efforts. “He offered me a home and gave me everything I could want, but I...” Rayla stops and starts, the words coming out in a choppy, slightly choked flood. “I couldn’t lose him.”

X

Rayla felt a great many things, and all of them hurt. She thought of the Silvergrove. Ethari at his workbench, metal marvels at his fingertips. Mushcup and moonberry surprise. And beyond the Border, a warm castle, and a mage—

5)

This marketplace is carved into the dark side of a mountain, sitting in an almost permanent shadow from the positioning of the sun.

X

She set her sights on another stall, this one set up in the shadow of a ramshackle old building that Rayla almost mistook for a pile of rubble.

6)

The man raises a pale, large hand and Rayla prepares herself for the blow—she doesn’t want to run from this, too—when an arm pushes her back, and a familiar sounding voice sounds. “Sorry ‘bout my friend,” Nyx chirps, pushing Rayla behind her. “Nasty temper. I’m sure the cloak can’t be worth more than a piece of silver, do you?” Nyx flips a silver coin in the air and the man catches it. 

X

Rayla’s hands slipped to her back to find the hilts of her blades—but someone grabbed her by the neck of her cloak and pulled her backwards. “There you are,” came a loud and unfamiliar voice. “I told you to come find me when your ship docked, not wander around the market.”

—the devil's in the details (but you got a friend in me), october 2021 / tdp reflections: chasing shadows, july 2023

[bokettochild]

Hello Apple! I’m working on a puzzle, how would the LU boys do w a puzzle? Would they actually do it or would they set it on fire (I’m looking at u Wild!😑😂)

Ooh! Puzzles!

I think at the very least, Legend is the sort of person who you hand a puzzle and he will be diligently working on it still six hours later (I'm thinking this is probably a 1,000+ piece one, my fav!). He's very happy, although his spine is decidedly not (lol). Puzzles are the most familiar thing this guy can be working on other than fighting, and are much more relaxing. Happy space for him, bunny enrichment. He starts puzzles by trying to work on the edges, but usually ends up getting sidetracked with recognizable items or pieces that clearly go together. Takes great delight in piecing together small chunks he's already completed into a bigger chunk, but he refuses to look at the box in order to do so (he likes the challenge of figuring it out himself). I think he's very careful when moving portions so they won't break too. Tends to hum or sing as he works, although it's sort of distorted by curling up like he does over the puzzle.

I feel like Warriors enjoys them too. Less so all by himself, but give him a puzzle buddy and he's happy to put together all the little pieces into something bigger. It's mentally stimulating while also not too strenuous. He's either humming or chatting the whole while, and he probably would love a long conversation with his puzzle partner while they're working. He's also the sort to start with the border, but he'd actually finish before going elsewhere. He sorts the pieces by similar color/texture as he goes, which definitely makes things easier for whomever he's working with, which is his intent. there's nothing more satisfying for him than being able to help his partner find the exact piece they need and than watching their face light up.

Four is the sort of person you would expect to enjoy puzzles, but in reality, it's a nightmare trying to work with four different voices wanting to do different things. Vio gets irritated sometimes with how long it takes and how many times he has to look for certain pieces. He'd rather be doing other stuff. Red doesn't particularly enjoy big puzzles, but he's also the sort to sort pieces for his brothers. He likes making piles of the pieces for Green and Blue and then just going off elsewhere. Blue actually really enjoys puzzles, because they small details and the satisfaction of seeing them come together make his perfectionist brain happy (he will lose his mind if there is a single piece missing at the end though). Green just likes them, more casually than anything. He'll do them with Blue, but not on his own.

Hyrule finds them sort of boring. He, like Green, will help for a short while, but he doesn't get the appeal of putting together small pieces of cardboard into a big picture. He's not even likely to do it as a bonding thing, and gets bored sort of quickly.

Wind enjoys puzzles in the short term. He'll work on smaller ones (500-) in spurts or pop in and out to help, but the bigger ones just make him want to give up after a while. it's not because he doesn't want to help, it's just he has too much energy and not enough of an attention span to sit still putting a puzzle together. He's happy to help on and off though if anyone else doing the puzzle will let him. Puts together the recognizable or large portions first, but spends a lot of time looking at the box to see where everything goes.

For Time, count him out. His patience cannot with these things. There's too many fiddly pieces and he's only got one eye to look at them all with. Like heck he's going to stare at them for hours on end just to make a picture!

Sky will help if he likes what the puzzle depicts, but he's more there for the company, and gets easily distracted. He's the one who ends up holding a puzzle piece for forever, just chatting with someone else until Legend realizes that he's got the very piece the vet has been searching for, and thus gets smacked for it. He does best with borders, since it's easier (sort of) to find the pieces and there's only so many ways that they can fit together. If he starts the puzzle with you though, he'll try and stick with you till the end, just because he hates leaving things unfinished, even if he really didn't help a lot.

Twilight has to be in the mood. He's not keen on them most of the time, but animal puzzles are a good distraction sometimes, and if he's doing it with kids then he is all over it. He likes helping others do it more than actually doing it himself, and he's definitely one of the ones who prefers smaller puzzles with only a few hundred pieces.

I think Wild is the sort that says he likes puzzles, but most of his puzzle doing time is spent staring at the pieces and trying not to pull his hair out while trying to find the right ones. He tries so hard to get the pieces to fit together, but his brain isn't wired for this sort of puzzle-solving. He likes the time spent with others, or says he does, but he really just drives the people around him crazy when he tries to help. Flora and Legend both have banned him from helping them with puzzles (Flora also greatly enjoys puzzles, her feet dance under the table when she works on them and she smiles a lot more while working on them).

[thearchercore]

I came across these 2 thoughts which really interested me on the blog@tsarinablogs and I found her responses very interesting. (I always like his answers which are very relevant and interesting)

I would also like to know your opinion on this subject because I really like your way of perceiving and analyzing. (if that doesn't bother you of course, it's not at all an obligation)

1)

after having an anon's thought, i realized something. (a personal impression) max is someone who is very easy to read, I have the impression that we know straight away what state of mind he is in, he is very open about his emotions, he is easy to read.

Charles, on the other hand, is very paradoxical. He has a very expressive face, you see everything on his face. But at the same time and despite this I find that he remains someone difficult to read. He is expressive but he still maintains a certain control over his emotions. I think sometimes it's hard to really say what he thinks. I don't know if I'm expressing my thoughts well, sorry 😂 I just find that Charles is much more complex than he seems. People like to call him nice, naive and handsome //

2)

It's fascinating how similar and different Charles and Max are at the same time. In terms of racing, they are identical (even in the way they drive there are similarities). They talk about running as something vital, a need, as if the only time they feel comfortable and at peace is in a car. I have no doubt that it is a passion for all drivers but for them it seems like it is different. It seems like they need things to go well. They compare their car to a member of their body. Their way of talking about racing is different and I have the impression that what binds them is that they are the only ones who understand each other. They find themselves in this way of thinking, in this obsession and this vital need; there is an agreement.

another similarity is their humor and their perception of life; I have the impression that they are similar in this respect.

Their difference mainly lies in the way they act and interact with others. Max is very direct and more awkward, he has less self-confidence and needs some approval (like when he makes jokes). He is a very affectionate and spontaneous person. Charles is more socially comfortable and has more confidence. he has more control over his emotions than Max but at the same time he is a very open person.

thank you for mentioning @tsarinablogs! we're friends, and not to sound like i lack any critical thinking whatsover, but we do have a lot of joint opinions

THAT BEING SAID, what i find most interesting about them is how max generally never pretends, he's extremely straightforward and unless RB pr holds him at gunpoint, he will say what he thinks. charles, on the other hand, knows how to use the public opinion to his advantage and knows how to manipulate the narrative extremely well.

when you put these things together, you end up with what max and charles have going on - max who never cares about pretending to be anything he's not being interested in charles and charles, who's really great at keeping his PR persona up, tends to lose some of his cool around max and just becomes more of a private version of himself, let's say. so it's definitely fun to watch them interact vs other people on the grid just in terms of their persona preference of how they present themselves to the world.

when it comes to racing, i think they are extremely similar in both their mindset, approach, and driving styles. someone recently dug out an instance when drivers on track were complaining about their back in the cars and only him and max didn't mind “I am not here to be comfortable, I am here to drive a fast car” so it definitely helps to find someone who has similar mindset in the industry you work in, no matter what sort of industry it is.

finally, you can just tell both max and charles are there to race and win. it's their hyperfixation basically, and so them talking about racing probably fires up those little insane neurons in their brains and they can't physically shut up. i think we've all been here (when you find joint interest and realise the other person shares the same opinions AND you can nerd out together).

[via-the-cryptid]

Sorry for leaving so manny promps but your AU its so good! And its making me have ideas about it!

Like, imagine combining the episodes "Bespoken for" and "Broke his crown" but now its Simon trying to fix the crown because Patience screw up the phantom circuits and Betty is going to die. Also imagine Finn just comming back from finding that his Biological Mom basically died years ago and now his new mom is dying too, maybe that motivates him even more to find a way to return everything back to normal.

oh trust me, no apology needed, you have the most fantastic ideas and I’m having the time of my life with them!

I do actually have an idea somewhat similar to this, specifically with the episode Broke His Crown in mind! bringing Patience St Pim into the equation definitely makes more sense than Simon just… deciding to do that on his own, and it adds another layer of urgency if the crown’s glitching is going to harm and/or kill Betty.

Simon goes in there and it’s all janky, this time he takes Marceline and Finn instead of Marcy and PB, but by this point PB is on better terms with them and has apologized for imprisoning Simon and starting the Sugar Snow War. Snow Queen forgives her pretty much immediately because Simon forgives her, and Simon forgives her because he knows that she was just doing what she thought would keep her people safe. Bubblegum does still get a role in this arc, they use her equipment to get into the crown, but this time she stays outside with Jake and BMO to keep an eye on things and make sure nothing happens while the other three are preoccupied.

also: this is the first time since the original crown incident that Simon actually gets to see Betty as herself and not as Snow Queen, and he takes the opportunity to tell her the situation and ask her if she wants him to fix the crown. he’s realised that he has a tendency to just forge ahead and forget to ask other people’s opinions (realization courtesy of his kids), so he wants to make absolutely certain that Betty will actually be happy with this decision and that he won’t be fucking things up by making her no longer be the Snow Queen. Betty says that she wants to be with Simon as herself, with all the memories involved, but she doesn’t want to lose this magic or her long life, on the off chance that fixing the crown completely would age her forwards a la Winter King.

and Simon starts to get an idea.

once they fix the crown and Snow Queen is back to normal-ish, Simon heads to Wizard City and starts researching a topic that he’d come across a while ago, but hadn’t pursued further: wish magic, the very magic thought to be behind the creation of the crown. if he can somehow alter the magic to let Betty keep her memories and personality as well as holding onto her magic… that would be perfect. All he has to do is figure out how.

[aingeal98]

hey its the evil dentist anon (now off anon!) and you got me thinking about cass and children. bc like, imagine her holding a kid, maybe even a baby. maybe she saved them from a fire, a car accident, maybe she is just holding somebodys kid for a second. and she thinks huh. i was this small once. and cain did all of that to me. and like, what she thinks next is very dependant on where she is in her journey of self perception. at certain points of it (like in your excellent fic 'shame, fear and how you play the game'!) she might not consider herself as human as the child shes holding. like obviously cain was a monster, but shes at least glad that it happened to her and not another "real" child like mad dog or his other attempts. second option is i think after a lot of healing, when cass is able to come to terms a bit more with everything, that horrible realization that cain hurt his children over and over again trying to create a weapon with no will of their own, that he did not see any of them as she sees children (nobody better than cass, i think, to admire the beauty and fragility of life in them) and like. feel all of these horrible realizations wash over her as she holds this child that will never experience anything similar if she can help it, bc she desperately wants to use her abilities to protect others, specially the powerless.

sorry for the essay, ive got cass cain on the brain, as you know.

Evil dentist formerly anon! Welcome :D

Cass and kids is so important to me I rotate it in my mind every day. I wonder what it looks like when she saw a baby for the first time. Did Cain bring one in so that she wouldn't get surprised, or did she only see them when she ran away? How different was their body language compared to everyone else? She says herself that her playmates were assassins. If she ever met anyone her own age or younger they would likely also be a trained fighter brought by their parents/handler to test their abilities.

All this to say the first time Cass held a baby would have probably been both weird and terrifying in a way. And yeah she definitely wouldn't be able to perceive herself as ever being one of them. Like technically of course she knows she was once like them but the chasm between her own perception of herself and how she'd view something so tiny and innocent is so vast she'd struggle to reconcile them.

But then later on, once she developed enough to view herself as a person who, if not deserving of love is at least someone who is human enough that she doesn't need to reject it when offered... Hoo boy yeah. If she thought about everything she went through while looking at a baby and realizing that no she really was like that once and her father really did put someone tiny and innocent and helpless through all the hell she suffered... Pain. So much pain. It would take her so much healing to be able to acknowledge that though, Cass's instinctive response before gaining any sense of self love is "Well obviously you should never put a baby what I went through. But I'm ME so it's not a problem." and everyone around hers response is babygirl you did not deserve to be abused. Which is true of course but Cass wouldn't see it that way. It's not about what she did or didn't deserve, it's about how she loved the fighting, loved the training, loved her dad. So clearly she was never a regular baby, but the fact that she was capable of throwing a shuriken at the target and hitting it dead center before she could even walk does not actually make how Cain treated her any more justified. And it takes Cass a while to really understand that and understand her own anger.

And if she ever catches someone abusing kids... Remember that time a mobster tried to kill someone with a gun and she made sure their hand hurt too much to pull the trigger a full year later? Yeah if she ever sees you slapping a child you are losing your hand privileges. No one can stop her from doing it too like she doesn't care if they think she's going too far. They hurt their kid she makes sure they can never do it again. Simple.

Also I really love the headcanon that as well as taking on her adopted father's mantle as the Batman, she also has his habit of adopting kids. Only the projection is different so the first two kids Cass adopts are a child who's parents were murdered so that he could be trained as a killer (which Bruce is a tiny bit judgemental over because he knows full well she's projecting like he was with Dick. But it's fine the child never actually killed someone, Cass took down the ring before they could force him to. He's just traumatized from everything else.) and a baby assassin who was raised in essentially a survival of the fittest situation and killed both all the other kids and his handlers by the time Cass found him. (This one Bruce is a little more judgemental over, but Cass does not care. This is his grandson now. The murders are a part of him and she loves him despite that.)

30 year old Cass, showing up at her and Steph's apartment in the middle of the night covered in blood: Hey guess what :D

Steph: Cass I swear to god if that's another fucking kid you're hiding behind you-

Cass, picking up her new child (also covered in blood) and showing them to Steph like a kitten: Their name is Max they have no family no one can understand them better than me and it would be nice for Roman to have a baby sibling.

Steph, sighing and grumbling but too tired to deal with this shit: I'll get Babs to send over adoption papers in the morning.

[sophieinwonderland]

i think you're losing some scope here. i know the tumblr tags represent more to you, but you clearly have drastically shifted your aims

you don't uplift endogenic systems anymore, not really. you seem more anti-anti-endo than pro-endo these days, and as someone who followed you early on, i have to say i understand but it makes me sad and uncomfortable enough to finally have to say i don't really fully support what's going on here

i know you have been relentlessly abused and slandered for 3 years by a community of people that shifts and grows and changes endlessly, like a ship of theseus of mean teenagers. i know you can and have changed minds. but you no longer seem to care about even that; you really genuinely seem to be lashing out, saying things that are deeply unnerving to endos and anti-endos alike, those with religious trauma AND many with the common sense to know that yes, proselytizing IS often harmful. There is a reason missionaries are tools of colonialism. im almost certain you know this and are just being inflammatory, but the friendly fire is IMMENSE. You look foolish and dangerous to many of us, and again that makes me sad and honestly a little worried for you

i think maybe finding another plural community to post activism in is a good idea, or at the very least a tumblr hiatus. it's ultimately up to you, and you are the arbiter of your own mental health, but please at least consider the things I've said here. i know im on anon but again i have had a lot of respect for you for a long time, especially for staying compassionate and composed given the context, but i couldn't fault you for any of this. i just hope you find something both more productive and more rewarding.

i could totally be misreading this and you are making these decisions for some solely rational reasons and you ARE more active elsewhere, but. i dont know. you dont seem to post positivity like headcanons anymore, just neverending anon hate and intentionally inflammatory (often triggering) pseudo-religious doctrine. that doesn't seem healthy for anyone, including your endogenic follower base

proselytizing IS often harmful. There is a reason missionaries are tools of colonialism. ... you dont seem to post positivity like headcanons anymore

I really do want to get back to the headcanon posts.

At least the big ones seem to take a lot of effort and I haven't really been feeling it for a while.

But I do find it ironic that you would say this when those very posts ARE my proselytism. To the extent that I proselytize my ideology to other communities, these are the posts that I consider most valuable to those aims of gaining outside support.

I don't openly proselytize in the way of "you should become plural and make a tulpa because plurality is cool and will help you feel better" the way Christians might because that feels scummy. Even if early studies are showing mental health gains from tulpamancy and I might be justified in doing so.

But I will make a huge post about how the Avatar is actually plural, trying to tone down my plural language and explain the terms I use in ways that non-plurals will be able to understand, with the intent of introducing them to plurality and get them on board with pro-endo ideology.

And if after learning about plurality, they decide on their own to make a tulpa due to resources I provide, or realize they were already plural because of similar experiences to myself or other systems I interact with then that's a huge win.

Those posts are the gateway, the same way missionaries might provide food or medicine or other types of support to local communities as a gateway, I provide detailed fan theories with lots of pictures to keep them entertained, and make sure to post them all over the tags of that fandom. Any fandom tags that are relevant, and then with plural tags to fill the rest out. In fact, I think of it a two-pronged approach, where plural tags help me get more notes from plurals and cause the post to appear higher up in the fandom tags to reach non-plurals.

You may think my focus has changed... and you'd be right about that. Lately, I've put a lot more focus on arguing. Maybe more than I should.

But as far as "proselytizing" is concerned, those posts you want me to to do more of have been my vehicle for it. Just less overtly.

And I don't think I've been particularly subtle about stating the intent behind them.

I'm stopping just short of some of the most manipulative tactics religions employ, but I'm self-aware enough to realize that I've always only been a few steps from them.

Frankly, if you want to spread an ideology, it would be silly to not look at the most successful ideologies, whether political, religious or even moral philosophies, and figure out why they were able to achieve the dominance they did.

[mostlikelyshutup]

What do you consider to be middle class born and bred people and what are some tell tale signs these people belong to that demographic? Could you also share the video about growing up poor in the US?

Okay so I was watching this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QNFDtmNPW0

I think they have other ones with similar topics but this one came up on my algorithm and i just deleted tiktok and will watch anything (and honestly i didn't even finish this video, but I found what I did watch pretty interesting)

My answer to the actual question is below the read more because it got very long lmao

Honestly middle class born and bred, to me, are people who have had generational wealth, even on a smaller scale. They are definitely closer to me and other poor Americans than they are the rich but there are some key differences.

For me, growing up was realizing that I didn't have money, it was coming to terms with the fact that I was going to lose the house i grew up in, and in a lot of ways, as I grew up I missed out on things that are part of the stereotypical American upbringing. For me, growing up was filled with lots and lots of grief and loss, not just for people, but what my childhood and life could have been without certain circumstances.

I will add a giant caveat that I was actually pretty well off until around third grade ish (so around 8-10 for non-Americans). I had a house that we weren't in fear of losing, my parents worked different shifts so one was always around, I felt cared for, and, though there was definitely things I didn't have, I never really felt like I was missing out on things. I had birthday parties with my friends, I went on trips with my family, etc etc. I was not rich at all, or even middle class, but I was pretty protected from any financial issues that we did have.

Even taking these things into account (and that it would all eventually go away bc of some bad mistakes/events in my childhood(including but not limited to the 2008 financial crisis and both of my parents being laid off)), my parents did not necessarily have those things and neither did their parents. My grandmother was born during the great depression and before that her mother was an Irish immigrant in the beginning of the 20th century. Every single one of my great-grandparents was an immigrant, which while is a long time ago, is not long enough to have built generational wealth in America (at least for them and the decisions they made and circumstances they were in)

My family has never, even when they were financially okay, been secure in that financial well-being or even really known what to do with it. My parents didn't have savings, my mom had a retirement plan but that's because she worked in retirement benefits, but overall there was not much financial literacy to be passed down. I didn't know what a HYSA was until my second year of college, I didn't know how to invest until maybe six months ago, and I am in 55 thousand dollars of debt going into my first job out of college. I still am not sure the material difference in retirement accounts and why I would need more than one. Neither of my parents finished college, and my father didn't even go to college. My mom, though she went, had no clue how financial aid worked. Along with the lack of passed down financial literacy, there are also no connections to be passed down.

One of the most mind-boggling and culture shock-y things I had when beginning to intern in the accounting profession was how many people's parents or grandparents knew each other. We talked about networking in class and school and I had some contacts from school itself, but these people had parents that golfed with other people's grandparents and had a network basically built in. They ran in the same circles and they had their entire lives.

Even on the level of what colleges we went to, I was one of three interns from my school (an on the cheaper side state university that I used student aid to get through) interning in the summer of 2023, and there were places (more expensive public colleges, private colleges that their parents probably went to or knew about and could partially/fully support them through) that would have lunches of thirty or forty people to network with.

They mention this in the video linked above, but I think the middle class has a much higher threshold for second chances than someone who is closer to my financial level/class. My parents made mistakes and their parents made mistakes and my family has lived in poverty this whole time. I have almost been homeless, my mom has worked 100 hour weeks just to make rent, the price of groceries has had more impact on my mood than most personal grievances at times.

A lot of middle class people (I wont say all but I would bet most) have not experienced that on the level that me and the people like me have. This isn't a bad thing and I wouldn't want them to have experienced this but it is a huge difference between me and them.

If they did experience something like that, I bet they recovered a lot better because of their passed down financial literacy and connections than my family did when the same happened to us. They had savings, they had retirement accounts to pull from, they had grandparents or parents to depend on in case they didn't. They lived with a bit of a safety net built in because of these things. A safety not that neither I nor other poor people had and we now have to build for ourselves, if we even can.

For me, middle class Americans exist in this realm of financial privilege where their parents set up savings accounts for their college and their grandparents gave them inheritances and they had a house their entire life (not all have to be true, but a generalization). They are a lot more comfortable with dinners and events and free drinks at work than I am. To me, this is all new, this is entirely different than anything I have been around for at least a decade and half (when my mom lost her cushy job and went on unemployment for close to two years) and most likely my entire life.

They don't know what it's like to be on food stamps or rent assistance or to not have enough money even with those helping out. They don't know what it's like for your mom to sleep on a couch for eight years while you sleep in the only room in your apartment. They don't know what it's like to become used to seeing eviction notices and even being somewhat okay with them because now you can prove to assistance agencies that you actually need their assistance. They don't know how much having to buy staples like oil or shampoo or soap or salt can bankrupt you. They, largely, don't know what its like to lose your childhood home and most of the possessions in it. They don't know where the cans they donate to the food drive go and if they do, they have not actually had to "buy" groceries from there. They had fresh baked goods that they didn't have to inspect for mold on the way into their house. They had fruit and vegetables that didn't rot in a week, and weren't frozen. They don't have the experience of trading cigarettes for food with neighbors some weeks just to have a protein to eat with dinner. They have never had to return food to the dollar store to get money for other shit.

I am happy that they don't have those experiences because they are hard and, frankly, humiliating to live through. However, because I have had those experiences and because of what I have had passed down from my parents and their parents (along with the lack of what was passed down), we have vastly different outlooks on life and how things work. I feel entirely different about things than they do, and we look at things with different viewpoints. Things they may take for granted and are normal for them are completely mind-boggling to me (team dinners in an accounting office are so strange, i had filet mignon for the first time on a partner's dime and I was one of five other people that ordered it. There was bone marrow and octopus and creme brulee and all of these things that I have never had and I definitely was not used to ordering for someone else to pay for, though this is definitely an extravagant example.)

Like I kinda hinted at throughout this fun little rant, this isn't true of some middle class Americans. I am willing to bet that it is true of a lot and maybe even a majority of middle class Americans. If they have experienced a majority of these things, I would challenge them to take a good hard look at their finances and history and maybe rethink their idea of their class.

Overall, it's pretty hard for me to really pinpoint what makes me, a poor person, different than a middle class person beyond that safety net and security that comes with inherited wealth going back even one generation. We don't act all that different, on a day to day basis or in general, but there are some moments where it becomes very apparent to me that we didn't go through the same things growing up.

It's kinda like when you first go to college and there are all these people there that you don't know and lived in different towns or states or even countries and you start going over differences and you're like oh that's cool I didn't know that happened where you lived and there are some similarities, but less as their home town gets further and further away from yours. A middle class person is like someone that lives in the same state but a few towns over. You've been to the same restaurants and malls and things like that, but your sports teams played in different divisions and you knew maybe one person from their high school that they may or may not have known and there are just these differences that you have to reconcile with by being like duh of course its different they're not from my hometown.

As a person from Massachusetts, the uber rich are like people from Singapore. I have no clue what it's like there and I probably won't visit anytime in my life and though there may be some similarities, it is vastly different in our two hometowns. (They also probably robbed my great grandparents to move to Singapore, but that's not really what we're talking about)

[sepublic]

Edge of the World; The Original S2 Finale?

Hot take, but while everyone is convinced that the original S2 finale would’ve basically been Hollow Mind had the show not been shortened... I’m of the belief that the original S2 finale would’ve been about King (so probably something like Edge of the World), or at least the events of Belos’ mind would’ve heavily involved him. 

I say this because of my personal theory that just as there are three core protagonists to the show -Luz, Eda, and King- there are three seasons, and that each corresponds to a member of our main trio. And I think to figure out which season ‘belongs’ to a certain character, I think it basically boils down to how much of their development it contains.

After all, S2 has a LOT of King episodes and major revelations that deeply change how both we and and he himself view King; Information about his past, the introduction of his father as a storyline, in general King going on this specific journey and quest with a relatively concrete end goal. Him recognizing that he’s a kid, coming to terms with this newfound feeling about his missing dad, embracing Eda as a mom, and of course becoming a Titan.

By that logic, S1 is Eda’s; It’s where she undergoes perhaps the MOST change (though it’d be folly to suggest the characters don’t undergo plenty of development in seasons ‘not their own’); She really learns to open and grow into being a mentor, rekindles her relationship with Lilith. Eda grapples with her curse and manages to come to terms with a lot of it, even as she loses her magic.

Eda and King both undergo major, substantial changes to their lives and characters, with a lot of context reveal as well; IIRC one of the writers even pointed out how a lot of S1 centered around Eda’s curse, and the truth she learns about her past; Just as King learns of his own past. And to finish that logic...

Well, S3 is Luz; It’s the culmination of the main protagonist’s arc, and as the main character whom the show thematically revolves around, it makes sense that as the show ends, so too does Luz’s personal journey. Like Eda and King, Luz undergoes a major revision in how she perceives herself in S3; Eda learns self-love and sees her value as a mentor, King recognizes he’s a child who just wants his family and not power... And Luz, we see how the guilt of the previous seasons comes crashing down on her.

Luz is a far cry from her bubbly, optimistic self. And likewise, in S3 we’ve already learned some MAJOR revelations about her past and background, her family, that deeply redefine our understanding of Luz; Just as we did Eda with her sister, King with his father. We find out about Manny, how his death influenced Luz, and learn how her mother went through the same things as her. We learn how a family member’s actions deeply impact the focus protagonist of their respective season.

Plus, there’s Luz also beginning to finally realize and change her understanding of herself, figure out that she’s loved; That it’s okay for her to make mistakes, that she IS a good and effective person. It’s where Luz will figure out what she wants and who she is, which coincides with her Palisman hatching. And we’ll likely see Luz learn about Camila’s similarities to herself, and gain a lot more introspection from that. 

So, amidst my theory that each season of The Owl House is dedicated to the arc of a specific member of the core trio; This brings me back around to my main point, which is that if S2 is about King, then the finale would’ve been as well. And it still kind of is; It’s called King’s Tide, and King acts as a major player with an enormous impact, altering the course of the series by releasing the Collector. He’s the hidden ace up the sleeve, and the Collector is an antagonist deeply personal to him and Titans in general.

This matches with S1′s finale, with Eda confronting Lilith, and her great-great-etc. uncle Belos. The S1 finale and its buildup episode are all about Eda and her curse, and everyone doing what they can to save Eda; Eda is the core of the story, everyone’s thinking and talking about Eda. Her curse comes to a climax here.

Now, King’s Tide may not be as focused on King as Eda’s season finale was for her, but again; We have to remember that the show was shortened, so the writers had to fit in a LOT of stuff. And they still did for King, dedicating and naming a whole episode after him grappling with and coming to terms with his Titan identity. Comparatively, Hunter’s gets his coping arc over being a Grimwalker in S3... 

So yeah; I think that regardless of whether Hollow Mind would’ve happened in S2 or S3, had the show not been shortened; I don’t think it would’ve been the original finale of S2. Probably a major episode in 2B at the earliest, but ultimately, I think the original S2 finale would’ve revolved around King. It likely would’ve followed most of the same beats as Edge of the World, but with more time to breathe between those events and the revelations of Belos’ mind. There likely would’ve been the plot point of recruiting King’s “people” as allies against Belos, and maybe emphasizing his status as a Titan to disprove Belos’ own claims of enacting its will.

Of course, this work would’ve happened in S3; But I think it’s likely that just as we got a huge earth-shattering revelation about Eda’s curse at the end of S1, we would’ve had the same with the reveal that King is a Titan at the end of S2; Their respective seasons also have a major sacrifice that leads them to push a desperate Luz away! And then S3, of course, is naturally all about Luz, and has already shaped itself to be that way so far... Though the established pattern does make me concerned for Luz, especially her own self-sacrificial tendencies and guilt, desire to make up for her failures, and possibly literal foreshadowing to her being stabbed (because she and Marcy Wu apparently aren’t similar enough)...

But yeah, that’s my take. I love Hunter and I LOVE Belos and their importance can’t be denied; But based on the patterns, and how dear of a character King is to Dana in particular... I really am convinced that Edge of the World, or something similar in themes and focus, would’ve been the true finale to S2. As it stands post-shortening, S2 is still very arguably King’s in many senses, already! Echoes of the Past; Edge of the World; O Titan, Where Art Thou; He’s had his most major episodes and focus in this season, and that’s just the obvious episodes, not counting the important moments in others as well. 

Plus, imagine the original plan for Season 2 ending on a somber, melancholy moment of reflection like this;

Definitely an interesting contrast to Season 1 having our protagonists look forward to the future, even as the foreboding Day of Unity takes over on Belos’ end... We see King finally saying hi to his dad for the first time in his life, despite his dad having been there since the very start, and there being no way possible for King’s dad to be absent; Then we get another video message from Luz to Camila; And finally cut to Belos and how just as with the Portal incident and Eda and Lilith’s escape, he’s unfazed by the revelation of his true identity and motives. The Day of Unity continues on regardless...

[xpeachesncream]

how many drinks? | one shot (jjk)

summary: the question is - how many drinks would it take for you to sleep with your bestfriend?

pairing: jjk x reader

genre: (18+) college au, dance group au, bestfriends/bestfriends with some benefits au | fluff, smut, sprinkle of angst

words: ~12.2k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, kind of crack-y, dancer!jk to fulfill my needs, unprotected sex, sprinkle of dirty talk, fingering, sprinkle of a handjob, slight biting, nails digging into skin, oc almost gets taken advantage of/forced into doing things she doesn’t wanna do, rough handling, song kang is in this too because i’m also a hooch for him but he’s an ass here, alcohol consumption, intoxication, mentions of blunts/smoking, house parties, cuddling, kissing/makeout sessions, straddling, breast/nipple play, hickeys, fucking on the edge of the bed, multiple orgasms, fingering, licking/neck kisses, oral (f. receiving)

note: one shot title is taken from miguel's song ‘how many drinks’ + a couple of things--

both hoseok and jimin’s piece mentioned below are inspired by real-life pieces my old dance mentor has choreographed and taught. this is the inspiration behind hoseok’s couple piece; this is the inspiration for jimin’s piece

i’m a hooch for all three of them in this video

enjoy imagining koo and oc dancing part of their couples piece like this 🥺

"Y/N." You picked up Jungkook's call as you sat at your desk in your dorm room. You had been finishing up your bio homework until the interruption came blaring through on your headphones.

"Yes?"

"Can I nap in your room?"

"The fuck I look like? A hotel?" You snorted.

"Yeah, a 5 star at that with how good you take care of me." He tries to butter you up, causing you to roll your eyes.

"You're lucky I like you."

"Yesssssssss!" You hear him faintly exclaim on the other line. "Be there in a sec."

"You know my doors are always unlocked." Which, it was true. So many of your friends had decided to live off campus that you and your other bestfriend [and beloved suitemate] were probably the only few left on campus. And that meant people were constantly in your room, hanging out or using both of your rooms, [with permission] or the couches in the shared living room space of your suite as a place to nap. College, amirite? Why the fuck would you lose your parking spot to go back to your apartment when you have friends who lived right on campus? You weren't just good for smuggling free food from the cafeteria to your broke ass, struggling off-campus friends.

Sooner or later, you're greeted by a fluffy, black-haired Jungkook, looking like his shit must have air-dried with how wavy and voluminous it was. He swings your door open so aggressively that you jump a bit in your seat, swinging off your headphones like you weren't even expecting him. You watch as he flings himself onto your neatly made bed like he hasn't felt a bed in years.

"Ugh, yes." He moans as he belly flops onto your bed and stays in that position.

"When's your next class, you little baby?"

"In like an hour or so, I don't know." He says sleepily. "Wake me up, please?"

"Sure." You realize it's Wednesday, and he definitely has Ecology lab later at 3:00PM. You figured you'd wake him up by 2:30 just to give him enough time to groggily walk his ass back over to the science building.

You and Jungkook weren't really close before college. It was moreso that you knew of each other since high school because of mutual friends. You'd see him at parties and he'd see you, but it was never more than the casual hi and bye and small talk. Maybe the occasional comments on facebook pages and the likes on pictures on instagram. But foreel, other than that, that's as real as your friendship got for awhile. You didn't mind it though, you were good with your set of friends and he was good with his. A lot of your friends attended the same university as you two and then your groups intertwined even more. 

But, it wasn't until the past couple of months or so where you both unexpectedly got really close - simply just by talking more and being around each other more. You both had similar interests and Jungkook wasn't the most vocal in his group, but with you, he seemed to talk endlessly. He loved comics and he loved raving to you about Marvel and DC superheroes. He loved to draw, and he'd draw you things every now and then - his most recent being you as a scientist superhero saving the world from overgrown malaria-infected mosquito monsters. It was the cutest thing you had ever seen, and you tacked it against your cork board near your desk. Then, small things like that turned to bringing you food or boba, being stuck at the hip where he'd only go to a certain place on campus if you were there; texting each other inside jokes and funny ass tweets all day turned to facetime sleepover calls and then late hangouts eventually turned to actual sleepovers in your bed, where he'd drape his arm around while you both slept but it never escalated into anything more than that in bed. Although he did fucking hate your medium-sized Olaf plushie that took shelter on your bed - he'd always hike it across the room and talk about how annoying he is and how he's always taking his spot. You never understood it, really.

And then soon, it turned to small displays of affection behind closed doors, where Jungkook would hold you close. Hold your hand if you two were in the room watching a show, or movie. Small kisses exchanged. Big kisses exchanged, making out sessions. But, that was literally it. Nothing else. No sex. No pressure. Lots of unspoken feelings, obviously, but you weren't gonna be the one to bring that up. Because you were comfortable, and if anything, you didn't wanna ruin what you guys already had going.

Like, is this a friends with benefits thing? Maybe? Maybe not? It was hard to label it because it's not like you both determined so, it kind of just fell together that way. And there was really no pressure to fuck every single time you got affectionate. It was cute, sweet. And no one really knew it was like that behind doors - possibly your suitemate Kass and her boyfriend, Jimin, but that's only because you shared the dorm suite with her. Jimin was also one of Jungkook's roommates and his really good friend, so whenever they had slept over on the same night, it was pure and utter chaos. But honestly, if Kass and Jimin hadn't been around you two much, they most certainly wouldn't have the idea.

Whatever it was, it was a comfortable closeness that you both experienced and appreciated. However, the both of you were afraid of discussing what this really was, afraid it'll ruin the dynamic. The atmosphere. Having to come to terms of what it might, or might not be. Neither of you can fully admit that you like the other. Although, it got hard. People did lightly tease you two because you both always looked for each other and were stuck by the hip out on campus.

Oh, well. Bottom line is that you liked your relationship where it was at, but it doesn't mean you haven't thought about the what if's. Jungkook was insanely attractive, and it's no lie that girls swarmed him left and right on campus, but he didn't give a shit [either he didn't give a shit or he was dumb as hell?]. Okay, rewind — to be fair, he would have a fling or two, flirt once or twice. He'd tell you so and so was cute and that they've hung out or texted, but that's it. He just wasn't necessarily looking for anything cause he too enjoyed where he was at with everything.

It doesn't take long before Sleeping Beauty is snoring face down on your bed, looking like Patrick Star with the way he's sprawled out. But, you continue to do your work until it was time to wake him. You gently shake him, his puppy eyes looking back at you after being face down all nap.

"Class time."

"No." He groans. "Can't I just stay here with you?"

"No, dude. Get to class." You chuckle. "You already skipped last week."

"Yeah, but this is a new week Y/N."

"Jungkook." You almost say in a scolding manner.

"Fiiiiiiine." He whines as he shoots up and hops off from your bed. "Are you going to our party on Friday?"

"I said I'd think about it right?"

"Yeah, like on Monday. It's Wednesday."

"And I'm still thinking about it." You snort, making him pout.

"Just come for a little bit."

"Why? You know parties aren't my thing and you'll be too drunk anyways. I'll end up wanting to go right the fuck back home as soon as I step outside."

"I'd like to be drunk and have you there. It'll be more fun!" He pouts as he holds your hand and swings it back and forth.

"I mean, to be completely honest, I'll probably end up going because of Kass anyways."

"Because of Kass." He rolls his eyes. "Oooookay. Not because of you, Jungkook, no." He says sarcastically, brows furrowed.

"Ew. You're such a fucking whiner. Leave." You laugh, throwing an empty water bottle at him.

"I'm kidding." He chuckles. "Wanna grab dinner with me after practice?"

"Sure. If you pay." He groans

"Fine. I'll see you later." He puckers up his lips to blow you a kiss, which you automatically reject by giving him a look before turning your attention back to your homework. You were hoping he'd offer to go to In-n-Out because you were craving that #2 with animal fries and a neapolitan shake, plus there was a Target in the same plaza that you wanted to drag him to for new pens and clearance sale shopping. And you wouldn't even warn him about it. He would tag along, no question.

Hoseok stands in front of the mirrors in the studio, pacing back and forth as your dance group learned a couple of 8-counts from this new piece he had been brewing up. Apparently, it was supposed to be a couples piece but he wasn't sure if he was going to keep it that way. He watched to see if this would be better as a group, or if he should stick to his original plans.

Your college dance group was a small group formed by people with pure, genuine interest and love for modern hip hop choreography. Hoseok was the dance lead, with Jimin being the back up lead. The group came together, taught each other pieces, taught workshops for those interested on campus and performed at the various talent shows and productions the school had throughout the year. It was just your group's way of showcasing your talents, something you all purely enjoyed, and it was nice to see the love and support given by the audiences.

"Okay, run that from the top one more time please. We'll take break after, swear." Hoseok chuckles and gives Jimin the cue to start the song back at the starting point. Jungkook makes a funny face at you as he huffs and puffs, trying to catch his breath from the last time you went through the counts.

"Ew." You giggle, slightly pushing him aside. Miguel's How Many Drinks begins to blast through the studio speakers, Jungkook doing his best to sing along and match his tone all while focusing on his steps. Once you're done going through the counts, the music continues to play, Jungkook twirling over to you just to sing—

"Cause I ain't leavin' aloneeee, I feel like I could be honest, babe." He spins to your other side. "We both know that we're grown, that's why I wanna knooooow - how many drinks will it take you to leave with meeeeEEeeeE?"

"You can give me all the drinks in the world and I swear I still wouldn't." You snort, making him frown and click his teeth.

"Too bad that's not really how you act when I ask to sleep over, though." Silence as you stick your tongue out at him. Cause, yeah. You really do tell him to sleep over without hesitation. You loved his company, you can’t lie. "Yeah, fraudulent as hell. I never taught you that." He jokes.

"Shut up, Jungkook—"

"Okay!" Hoseok says, clapping his hands. "This'll be a couple piece. I honestly think it'll work better that way, just like I envisioned it. I'll work with the couple to clean this up before the performance, but to whoever isn't casted for this, Jimin still has a piece to teach the rest of you, so don't feel discouraged!" Hoseok chuckles a bit, giving the rest of the group a small smile. "So with that being said - Y/N, Jungkook, I want you two to do this piece."

"Ouuuuuuuu." Jimin teases you from the sidelines, causing you to put up your middle finger.

"We won’t let you down, cap." Jungkook swings his arm around you.

"I'll teach you the rest of the piece next practice so we can start polishing it up and making it clean before the talent show."

"Sounds good with me." You flatly say, even though 100%, you're pretty excited for many reasons. One, you had been wanting to do a solo or couples piece for awhile, and two, your partner was Jungkook. Your best friend, your ride or die, the dude you've spent so much time with and gave your affection to behind closed doors. It made you giddy just thinking about it, even if you'd blatantly lie to his face later on when he'd tease you. And Jungkook felt the same. You missed the way he subtly bit on his bottom lip when you were named his partner, just so he wouldn't smile too big in front of you.

After practice, you egg him on enough to agree to take you to In-N-Out, without hinting at the plan you had drafted out in your head earlier.  The plan that says you're gonna drag his ass to Target afterwards and he had no choice but to come along.

"Y/N, you liar." He groans. "You said you weren't gonna go to Target." He pouts as you follows behind you anyway.

"Kook, I literally just need to get one thing."

"What's the one thing that you couldn't get on your own time?"

"I don't know, I'll have to find out when we get in there." You giggled, causing him to groan again. "Plus, we're here already. Killing two birds with one stone."

"Ah shit, I suppose I can get some bottles for the party."

"Yeah, make yourself useful Jungkook."

"Yeah, make yourself useful Jungkook, aheh." He mocks your tone and does that really weird and ugly ass laugh that dudes always do when they try to mock girls, however, you ignore it because you've just stepped into Target and bitch, this was Disneyland to you. Heaven. Paradise.

"Hm, what are we drinking on Friday?" He says his text outloud as he follows you around the dollar section where you begin to pick up really unnecessary items that you're probably just gonna store away in or around your desk somewhere.

"Should be holy water because you all need it."

"Mmm, I don't know, I don't think they have that but we can check." He responds ever so seriously, causing you to chuckle.

"How many people are you expecting?"

"Honestly, I don't even know. We said we'd keep it to close friends only. I don't really have any friends, so that's all on them."

"Ah, makes sense as to how the entire class was invited." You fire back sarcastically. "Your upstairs neighbors are really gonna have a blast."

"They're invited too."

"You guys are so dumb." He laughs when you hit him against the chest. After walking a bit, the two of you head towards the alcohol aisle, Jungkook grabbing what his arms will allow him to grab since alcohol is a little cheaper here than other grocery stores. "Isn't there a limit as to how much alcohol you can buy?"

"I don't see anything anywhere." He hauls about 4 big bottles back to the cashiers. "Besides, I'm giving them business compared to Safeway and those other grocery stores."

"Grab the coupon at least, genuis. It could save you some money." You take off the coupons from the three bottles.

He looks down at the coupon attached to the 4th bottle. "Sign up today and get 2% cash back on every bottle you buy." He snorts after reading the coupon outloud. "More like sign up today and get 2% cash back turnt." He looks at you. "This doesn't sound like a coupon, miss. Where's the ‘get 5 dollars off’ bullshit?"

"2% cash back turnt? Really?" You furrow your brows at him and hand the coupons to the cashier. "Here. God, maybe you shouldn't be hosting parties with your roommates."

"Maybe not." He holds his bags, even grabbing onto yours as you both walk out to his car. He turns up the radio, the both of you singing along to the songs coming through. When he pulls up to the lot of Edgehill Village, he parks in someone else's marked spot only because it's technically next to your door and he doesn't anticipate to stay long. But honestly, that never goes as planned. He grabs your bag from the trunk, silently following behind you as you unlock your door to an empty suite - just as you expected. Kass was most likely at Jungkook’s, spending the night with Jimin, and you'd be alone for the night. It didn't matter to you though, the peace and quiet was always nice.

"You sure you're gonna be okay here alone?" You nod.

"Yup. It's kind of nice actually." You lean forward onto your bed since it's raised a little higher than usual with bed risers, and open up your laptop. Jungkook sets your Target bag down and wraps his arms around you from behind, planting a kiss on your cheek and on your jawline.

"You sure you don't want me to sleep over? Cuddles sound nice."

"It sounds like you want to."

"Only if you want me to." He nuzzles his head against your neck, waiting for your response.

"Kook, please." You chuckle. "If you wanna sleepover, then go ahead."

"Yesssss! I do."

"Well you need to find parking, or else the person that owns that parking spot will be highly upset."

"You got it, captain. Pull up a movie!" He says, dashing out of your room to move his car. He's most likely going to come back in another 5 minutes, being that the only free parking at this time of night is probably on the other end in the gym's lot, or somewhere on the streets [if he got lucky].

And so that 5 minutes sure does go by before Jungkook is breathing heavily when he walks into your room, duffle bag swung over his shoulder with a big, dorky ass smile on his face.

"I'm back!"

"I see." You snort, still going through the movies.

"Hey, let's run through what Hobi taught us first."

"Ugh, I'm so tired though."

"Cooooome on, just once." He pulls you by the hand, his body pressed against yours as his his other arm wraps around your waist. "Please." His puppy dog eyes look down at you, causing you to push him away because fucking hell, that shit makes you weak. Makes the pussy throb just a lil, you know? Christ.

"Only if you watch 10 Things I Hate About You."

"Sure, I don't mind." He pulls up the song on your laptop. The both of you face the mirror in front of you, careful not to hit each other since you had such limited space to fully move around. Running through it once was a full blown lie, being that you both are doing it for almost 5-6 times before you're laughing at how out of breath you already are. You're so out of it and winded by the last time around that you accidentally hit Jungkook in the face, causing him to whine and stumble off to the side.

"Oh shit!" You laugh. "I'm so sorry, Kookie!" You run over to cup his face. "Are you okay? You good?"

"Shit, Y/N. You have a heavy hand." He keeps his hand against his cheek.

"I'm sorry." You lean in to plant a kiss on his cheek, but Jungkook being Jungkook, he looks to the side to have his lips meet yours instead. He picks you up in one swift motion, your legs wrapped around his torso as he sits you on your bed, your hands still cupping his face. And honestly, you really wanted him. You've always wanted him since this whole thing started. God, he was attractive to you - every little thing about Jungkook was a fucking weakness, but you weren't gonna let up first. Not tonight. The scar on his cheek, his soft, fluffy hair, his toned body, his muscular ass arms, the way he held onto you when you both slept, the way he kissed you.

Lord, he was truly going to be the death of you.

Before the kiss could get any deeper, you smile into it and back away, keeping your gaze on the small, dazed smile Jungkook has on his face.

"Can we watch now?" You ask, subtly biting onto your bottom lip.

"Yeah, good idea."

"Actually, after all that, I need to shower first."

"Can I join?" His eyes light up.

"Sit your ass down. You can go after." You laugh as you hop off the bed, grabbing your pajamas for a quick shower. You literally take 10 minutes, walking back into your room with wet hair and an oversized shirt and shorts underneath. Although you had been completely comfortable with Jungkook, the both of you have never really seen each other fully naked like that. Whenever he slept over, you were both always fully clothed. You've seen him hop out of the shower and come in shirtless, but that's probably about it. You start to brush your teeth as he rummages through his emergency duffle bag full of shit that he holds in the trunk of his car, grabbing a fresh pair of clothes to change into after his shower. You already know his ass is gonna use your shampoo for everything because he loves the smell of it and always talks about how good your hair smells.

While waiting for him, you slip yourself under your covers and pull the laptop closer to you, scrolling through your phone aimlessly to see what's new on instagram. Which, is absolutely nothing, so you let out a dissatisfied sigh.

"Ready!" He comes in, tossing his towel aside and shutting off the lights to crawl into your bed with you.

"You smell just like me." You chuckle.

"It's great, isn't it?"

"Your hair isn't bothering you?" You run your hand through his incredibly wet hair as he shakes his head.

"No, I'll be good."

"Okay." He wraps his arm around you to pull you onto his body, the movie already off to a start. As the movie goes on, you find yourself getting sleep as both of your bodies sink deeper into the sheets, Jungkook still not letting you go. The laptop rests on his belly, while your head is on his chest, his heartbeat the one thing putting you to sleep pretty quickly. He's comfortable, just as you are. He's warm, you're warm. He's content, you're content. You drift off to sleep while he continues to watch, knowing your bodies will be pressed tightly against each other in the morning.

"Kook there's so many fucking people here. The cops are gonna come and shut this down quick." Jungkook shrugs.

"Oh well, wasn't my idea." He snorts. "Shot?!" He hands you a shot that you take with ease, feeling like you aren't drunk enough for all this shit and all these people. "Atta girl."

"Yuck, though." You slightly make a sour face as you feel the warmth trickle down your throat and into your stomach.

"Heeeey, whyyyyy do you look so FaMiliaR?" This girl asks Jungkook in a weird, flirty tone, where every other consonant goes up and down. She's obviously really fucking drunk and out of her mind because for one, she definitely goes to the same school as you two, and she has definitely been in class with Jungkook before.

"Oh uh, my name's Justin Bieber. I used to sing from time to time." He says nonchalantly with you furrowing your forehead at him because what kind of response did he just give her?! What did he just tell her? You're so embarrassed that you slowly turn on your heel and walk out of the kitchen as you hear him sing One Less Lonely Girl hella out of tune, with the girl completely smitten over his drunk ass.

"Where's Jungkookie?" Kass asks as she sits on Jimin's lap.

"Over there, pretending to be Justin Bieber apparently."

"Oh, nice. You don't come across that often." Jimin says sarcastically. "Are you staying here tonight?"

"Yeah, stay here tonight, with Kookie." Kass wiggles her eyebrows, her cheek resting on top of Jimin's head. "It's not like that's anything new."

"Um, I'd rather much be back in the dorm."

"That cold, lonely place? When you could be here, in such a pretty apartment with such a pretty boy?" You shake your head at her.

"Unbelievable." You mutter. Suddenly, an incredibly tall man walks into the apartment, reaching about 6'1 and almost hitting the ceiling with his tall ass. You've never seen him before, but he walks in with Hoseok and Namjoon and for whatever reason, you can't peel your eyes off of him. "Woah, who's that?"

"Who's what?" Jungkook finally comes to your side after being Justin Bieber for a good minute or so, his eyes following yours. Who was he and why were you looking at him so intensely?

"That's Kang! You've never met him?" Jimin says, doing a slight nod to greet him as he passes by. Kang and his fine self looks up at you, a small smirk creeping up at the corner of his lips as he continues through to the kitchen behind Hoseok and Namjoon. "He's a transfer and on the basketball team."

"He's fiiiiine." You and Kass swoon over him a bit, Jungkook giving you a look.

"He's alriiiight. I've seen better."

"Shut up, no one asked you." You lightly punch him on the side, making him lightly groan while Jimin and Kass laugh. The rest of the party, you suddenly have a goal to find out more about Kang and see what he's about because you and Jungkook weren't official. You both didn't really know what this was, but one thing you knew for sure was that it wasn't anything exclusive. You wouldn't bring it up, so wouldn't Jungkook - so was this really something all that meaningful?

Whatever, you didn't wanna keep going in circles about it.

Jungkook fucking hates it though, and he's honestly really jealous that you're suddenly trying to be all cute and woo the new, tall, handsome [but he's not really that fucking handsome to Jungkook for christ's sake] basketball player. Jungkook almost wants to mock his every move and how suavé he is, almost looking like a try hard with the way he's leaning against the wall and talking to you.

Wait— he's talking to you?! You were literally right next to him 2 seconds ago.

"What the fuck?" He squints, trying to make sure he's actually looking at you.

"You're so full of shit." Jimin laughs.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why don't you just admit that you like her and stop being childish about it?"

"I don't like her. She's just my bestfriend."

"Um, okay?" Jimin snorts. "When you sleep at her place every chance you get and vice versa? When she has a ton of your shirts and hoodies in her own fucking closet? When you always get so affectionate with her in the dorm? Sure, you don't like her."

"How do you know that?"

"I just do, you've done it in front of me and Kass before but you both tried playing it off. I don't understand you two."

"Well, I don't like her. She obviously doesn't either with the way she's trying to be all up on him." Jungkook glares at you, his teeth biting the rim of the cup harshly as he brings it to his lips to take a sip.

"Whatever, I'm just saying dude. Probably better to be straight up about it than not."

"Kaaaaaaay." Jungkook responds sarcastically, trying to play off how butthurt he was right now. Cause yeah, he did fucking like you. He was just scared to admit it though because of reasons like this - the fact that you possibly didn't like him back killed him. The fact that you could possibly be using him to feel wanted, needed. It made his stomach turn.

He just really liked you, and god, did he want to be the one in your bed tonight. Whether or not that ended up in sex, whatever. He just wanted to be the one to touch you, be on you.

Meanwhile, Kang was attractive as hell and ouwee, were you feeling him tonight. You were, you really were - except, you could literally feel the holes Jungkook was burning through you from across the room. You'd occasionally glance over due to how distracting it was, Jungkook literally have no shame with eyeing you, almost glaring at you, from across the apartment.

"Is it too forward if I ask for your number already?" Kang licks his lips, his teeth lightly piercing his bottom lip as he looks down at you.

"No." You smirk at him, taking his phone to put your number in.

"We should kick it soon. I'd love to hang out with you and get to know you better."

"Yeah, just let me know when." You blush, until you're suddenly pulled out of your daze by a loud 'ahem,' the loudest throat-clearing you have ever heard in your life. You turn to see Jungkook making his way back over to the shots, knowing damn well he's calling you over. "See you around?" Kang winks before he tips his cup to you and gives you a single nod.

"Sure thing, cutiepie." You bite onto your bottom lip, making your way over to Jungkook at the shot station, instantly pinching his arm.

"What the fuck?"

"Nobody was calling you over." Jungkook smirks.

"Shut the fuck up, yes you were. I know that was you clearing your throat like that."

"I'm sorry, does it bother you?" He blinks cutely, tilting his head to the side. "Besides, why come over here when you're too busy with your man?"

"Are you jealous?"

"Why in the hell would I be jealous, Y/N? Do you." The words sting you, even though part of you still wants to believe that Jungkook may actually like you. All you can do is sigh and brush it off, placing your cup down in front of him as he pours himself another shot. "You sure?"

"Just give me the damn shot." You say, making it your 7th.

And the 7th turns into 8, 8 turns into 9, 9 turns into 10. And at 10, you're pretty fucking drunk even as the party is starting to die down by the time it's close to 2am. All 10 were a good combination of shots and mixed drinks.

10 drinks.

10 drinks is what it took for you to lay in Jungkook's bed at the end of the night, hands tangled in his fluffy hair as your makeout session intensifies by the minute - all due to this sexual tension, frustration, whatever the hell it was brewing between you two after all this time. The both of you are drunk as hell, and it's pretty evident with the way you can still taste the alcohol on his tongue, both sloppily touching up on each other, kisses getting wetter, clothes coming off like there's no tomorrow.

"Wait, are you sure?" Jungkook says, about to unhook your bra.

"Jungkook, god, just fuck me." You plead drunkily, the room spinning around you. He continues to unhook your bra, tossing it across the room where your other clothes lay, peppering kisses along your neck before licking up a stripe to meet your lips again. He hooks his fingers across the band of your panties, tugging them down and letting them get lost within his sheets. You take this as leverage to tug his boxer briefs down, already stroking his hardened member the moment you come into contact with it. The sad thing is that you both are so fucking drunk, you can't even appreciate the fact that you both are naked in front of each other for the first time ever.

You can't even come to terms with the fact that you both are about to fuck each other and cross that boundary completely.

But, hell, what do you care? You were drunk. You got a cute guy's number. You're getting dick at the end of the night.

"Oh shit, Y/N." He moans into your mouth as he feels you stroking him. "Need to feel you." He quickly runs his finger down your fold, slipping in two digits to pump them in and out, quickly prepping you for his dick.

"Hnnng--Kook." You bite onto your bottom lip as your eyes shut close momentarily, your head digging deeper into the pillow the more he tries to stretch you out. "Want you inside of me."

"I got you." He says. You almost whine at the loss of contact until you feel his tip poking at your entrance. He slowly continues to slip himself inside of you, Kook letting out a small groan while your mouth was left open, a soundless moan releasing before you hiss and take in all of him. He fills you up so well, so completely. He was so big that you felt full, bloated, with him being inside of you the way he was.

"Ohhhhhgod." You whimper as he starts to steady his pace, the lewd noises of his cock slipping in and out of your wet pussy filling his room - god forbid if Jimin or their other roommate Yoongi heard this right now. It would be nothing short of pornographic.

"You're so wet. Is that all for me?" He says, causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head as he begins to aggressively thrust into you.

"Y-yes." You whine.

"Say it again."

"All for you, Kook."

"I fucking thought so." He drunkily responds as one hand grips onto your hips tightly, the other in your hair as he digs his head back into the crook of your neck, his tongue messily licking near your jaw before he nibbles onto your earlobe.

"Hmmmmgggh, Jungkook. Fuck." You moan as you start to work your hips upward into his, your clit rubbing against his pelvis, causing the pleasure to pool quickly within the pit of your stomach. It causes goosebumps to pierce through the surface of your skin, your hands gripping tighter on his hair. "You're-you're gonna make me cum. Faster." You plead. He does just so, hammering into you, the sound of his hips slamming into yours bouncing off of the walls.

"Ahhh—Y/N." He groans.

"Just like that, just like that, just like that!" You repeat, your clit feeling incredibly stimulated by the way it rubs against his skin while he fucks into you. "Oh shit! Jungkook!" You moan loudly, biting his shoulder as you feel yourself trembling hard in his grip, your orgasm taking over your entire body.

"Shit, shit, shit—Y/N, Shiiiit." He says into your neck, followed by more curses and groans as you feel him coat your walls warmly. He stays inside of you until the both of you come back down to normalcy, your breathing becoming more regulated. He slowly slips himself out, plopping next to you on the bed, but doesn't welcome you into his arms.

The night goes on, the both of you sleeping on your own sides of Jungkook's bed, not really saying a word to each other. Because the both of you, although still pretty drunk, are more aware by the time it's over and it's become so clear how fucked up this got.

You were hurt. Completely hurt. Because you didn't expect Jungkook to just fucking ghost you after that night. You wanted to talk about it, maybe come to the conclusion that you two should just distance yourselves from each other to figure this out, even if it would hurt you a lot to do so.

No.

That morning, Jimin and Kass had to take you back to campus because Jungkook had darted out of his room, nowhere to be seen until later that night. The next week or so, there were no texts, no calls. No visiting your dorm, no asking to sleepover.

Nothing.

Just radio silence, white noise, if you will.

The one thing he could come up with was a stupid response to your text when you finally caved and asked what you did wrong mid-week.

Something along the lines of 'what do you want me to say, Y/N? do you want me to force myself to feel a certain way?'

Followed by a 'i'm sorry, fuck. that came out really wrong' even though you thought it came out perfectly fine. You understood loud and clear.

Even though this wasn't really an exclusive thing, or even a 'thing' if we wanna be straight up, you still couldn't help but feel like Jungkook had just dumped your ass with no explanation and you were still waiting for that explanation to come, whether it would or not. And because of this, you started to see Kang, hangout with him more often. He even took you out on a dinner date and you really enjoyed his company. He seemed genuine, caring, supportive - even if a lot of the basketball boys were the complete opposite. He was different, you liked to think.

And so you stand in front of the mirrors in the dance studio, you and Jungkook awkwardly running through the piece with Hoseok watching, confused as to why all of a sudden the two of you have this weird tension going on. It hasn't entirely ruined the couple piece, but it hasn't brought it together, either. The both of you could barely look at each other, barely get into the movements, the emotions behind the motions. Hoseok had to correct a few things, his 'pah pah pah's' echoing in the room constantly with how many times you and Jungkook had to be set straight for your sloppy steps today.

"Okay, I'm not saying it's bad, cause it's not. But can you both please act like you at least like each other or something? What's going on with you two? You aren't normally like this." Hoseok says, coming down to a crouch in front of the mirrors.

"Nothing, we'll do better. Don't worry." You brush off the entire question with your quick response. Jungkook looks at you, his hands on his hips, lightly frowning at how much you're distancing yourself even though he knows its entirely his fault for running from his feelings and not being honest with you.

"Okay, let's do it from the top." The music starts, you getting into the piece without making any eye contact with Jungkook. Even the steps that cause you to be close and near Jungkook, you look anywhere but his eyes, and your touch is light, trying your hardest not to let any feelings pass through the motion. Hoseok is a little more pleased this time around, but it still doesn't sit right with him, so he lets you two take a break while he heads to the other studio to check on Jimin and the rest of the group.

"Hey. Are you okay?"

"Jungkook, you don't get to ask me that." He sighs and runs his hand through his hair, not sure if he should continue on or not.

"Y/N—"

"Save it, and let's just get this over with, okay? I don't wanna be here just as much as you." Your words cut him deep because dear, you have gotten him completely misunderstood and yet, he still can't speak. He still can't talk about his feelings. He still can't save this even though he wants to, even though he loathes seeing you the way you are with Kang.

"I never said—"

"Kay, ready? Let's run this full out and make it a good one so we can call it for today." Hoseok says, clapping his hands to hype you two up somehow. The music starts and you're finally able to get into the steps. The emotions. And god, it's only because you're so hurt by your own bestfriend. You're hurt that he fucked you so good, and then dipped. You're hurt that he couldn't even face you the day after. You're hurt that after all this time, he made it seem like you still didn't matter enough - at least enough for an explanation, for some kind of reasoning, conversation, behind what just went down between the both of you. Between what has been going down between the both of you.

Besides the stupid ass responses he gave you through text.

You get so into your feelings that you don't even realize you're tearing up by the time the piece is over, and Jungkook catches it even though you face away from him as soon as the music cuts out.

"Nice, okay! That was so much better! Let's pick it up next session, yeah? We'll keep cleaning it up. Thanks guys!" Hoseok says. You immediately head towards the wall, grabbing your things to avoid any confrontation from Jungkook, but he grabs your arm as soon as you slip through the door.

"Y/N, wait. Stop."

"Let me go." You yank your arm from his grip.

"Why are you crying?" He stops in front of you, his hands placed on your arms to prevent you from moving any further.

"I'm not." You blatantly lie while you aggressively wipe away the stragglers coming down.

"Really? Just gonna lie like that?"

"Why do you care? You haven't said shit to me all week." You snap back, and Jungkook is taken aback from the tone in your voice. You remove his hands from your arms, and take one last look at him before shaking your head and walking off.

Next mistake? He doesn't come after you.

This was a waste of fucking time. If he truly cared about you, he wouldn't let you hurt like this.

You let out a deep sigh before clutching onto your things and walking back to your dorm. The walk from the gym/fitness center was damn near on the other end of campus compared to your dorm. It would be a good 10 minute walk if you really took your time. A good 10 minutes to ponder on your thoughts.

Yes, you liked Jungkook. You really liked him. Having sex with him solidified those feelings even more. How could you not have feelings for your bestfriend after all the moments you've shared? Was it your fault for assuming that? Was it your fault for walking through that door when it seemed to be completely open for you?

"Sup." Kang comes out of nowhere, pulling you out of your thoughts. He swings his arm around your shoulder, gently pulling you closer to his body.  "Just got out of practice?"

"Sure did." You give him a toothless smile. Yes, he was attractive as hell. He always will be. But, even with the time you spent together, the date he took you on, he still couldn't make you feel the way Jungkook has been able to make you feel.

"How was it?"

"Um, it was alright. Nothing new really, just cleaning up the piece before the show. You're going right?"

"Why wouldn't I?" He smiles down at you. "Listen, I don't know if you've heard, but there's another party tonight."

"A party? It's Wednesday." You snort.

"Yeah, I mean, one of the boys on the Lacrosse team is throwing it at his family house because his parents will be gone. Wanna come? I'll pick you up. We don't have to stay for long." You looked at your watch.

"What time is it at?"

"Like 9ish?" Enough time for you to shower and get a quick dinner in your belly. Why the hell not? You were caught up for the week. You didn't have any pressing assignments that were due asap.

"Sure. I'll come."

"Cool. See you later then?" He says, about to part ways with you. You simply give him a nod before walking deeper into Edgehill village. You hoped you wouldn't regret this tonight, and you really hoped he meant it when he said you two didn't have to stay for long. You drag yourself into your room, seeing Kass' door wide open, revealing her packing up her duffle bag.

"Hey, where are you headed during the middle of the week?"

"My two classes got cancelled for tomorrow so me and Jiminie are heading out for a mini getaway for our anniversary." You cross your arms and smile. "He's just gonna catch up on shit when we get back I guess." She laughs.

"That sounds cute. I hope you have loads of fun this weekend, babe."

"What are you gonna do?" Kass and Jimin were obviously aware of everything happening between you and Jungkook being that they had to be the ones to take you home. They never pressed on it though, knowing you both were still pretty upset about how things were playing out. They figured you two would eventually work it out, but until then, they would just sit back and keep their mouths shut. You two were being completely stubborn, but it wasn't their relationship to fix.

"Well, there's this party Kang wants to take me to tonight."

"The Lacrosse party? Messy." She laughs. "Be careful, but also have fun, yeah? I still don’t know if I trust him.”

"Yeah I know."

"Tell me how it goes!"

"I will." You wave her off as you head into your room and shut the door. You figured you would just grab dinner on campus to avoid spending more money than you should; after all, dinner seemed to be pretty bomb tonight. You didn't mind going alone, sometimes Namjoon would join you, asking for you to bring him a plate of food while he does the hard job of sneaking inside the cafeteria through the back door. He usually waits for you at a free table and ends up staying there to have dinner with you, updating you on how life has been, how school has been. Sometimes Hoseok would join you, too. Either way, you didn't mind if no one joined. It was nice to have dinner by yourself from time to time.

You get there on time to be able to grab some food, eat quietly and head out before the cafeteria gets way too busy for your liking. You slip into the shower and throw on a mini skirt, a crop top and a denim jacket, lightly fluffing your hair in the mirror and adding a dab of lip gloss to your lips before Kang is calling you to tell you he's outside your dorm. He's wearing something similar to your color palette, however, you don't make much out of it since this also wasn't really an exclusive thing and you sure as hell weren't going around telling people you and Kang had a thing going on.

To him, you two might be a thing. You've definitely overheard people talking about you two in passing.

To you though, you two definitely weren't. And it was a big fuck you to Jungkook for that.

The house is packed from end to end already, and you're surprised being that it has barely hit 10 minutes since the party was expected to take off. Kang is having to park down the hill, allowing you to hop onto his back for a quick piggy back ride up until you reach the front of the house. There's people already fucked up out on the lawn [you figured they fucked themselves over during their pre-game session cause that shit really happens from time to time], either laying there drunkily or yacking on a free patch of grass.

Gross.

Messy, indeed.

Some people are posted, smoking blunts and offering it to people who were passing by. You and Kang both pass up on it, the idea of not knowing where it has been not sitting right with you. You both head straight to the bottles, taking shots and downing mixed drinks to chase it with so that you can catch up with majority of the crowd. Kang has his arm around your shoulder throughout the night, keeping you close to him, even when he's getting pretty drunk. You realize he's a little more handsy than usual, a little more touchy than you expected him to be. It doesn't bother you for a minute, until he really tries to hike up your skirt while you sit on his lap. You gently shoo his hand away, playing it off while he nuzzles his head against your neck.

"Let's go upstairs, babe." He says, the pet name sounding incredibly off coming from him. Maybe you were drunk, maybe you really just weren't in the mood. It just didn't sound cute, if that even makes sense?

"Okay." You respond stupidly, not wanting to cause a scene at a lacrosse party. You intertwine your fingers with his as he leads the way up the stairs, eyeing the doors as they come into view. He leans forward towards each door, making sure it's clear before opening it. You assume he finally finds one that he's satisfied with when you catch the small smirk that grows at the corner of his lips when he turns the door knob and brings you inside. He pulls you into a deep, rough kiss, one that doesn't even allow you to breathe and process what the fuck is even going on. You can't get into it for the life of you, no matter how hard you try to back away. "Wait, wait."

"What's wrong, baby? Isn't this what you wanted?" He says, kissing down your neck as he drops his jacket to the floor. He gently pushes you onto the bed, his hands traveling up your skirt as you lay there trying to push him off.

"Wait, stop." He doesn't listen. He continues until his hands are literally hooking onto your panties, his finger swiping down your clothed folds. You try fighting him off, but he's way stronger than you. He continues to be aggressive, forcefully trying to shove your panties down until you muster up all the energy you have to finally push him off of you completely. "Stop!"

"What the fuck? I thought you wanted this?"

"Who the hell said that?"

"Are you serious? The way that you're dressed and the way that you look at me. The way you approached me at your friend's party - isn't it all because of this? Because you wanted me? Why are you backing out now?"

"Jesus, get over yourself." You stand, fixing your skirt back down. He furrows his brows at you before his hand grips your arm tightly, shoving you against the wall.

"The fuck, you can't just leave without giving me anything. I brought you here to this party."

"Let me go! You're fucking sick. No one even told you I wanted this to go down. I don't know who you think you are, but you need to get yourself together and stop assuming every pussy is yours to take." He attempts to pin you, his hand holding up both of your hands against the wall while the other tries to pull up your skirt. Someone accidentally opens the door, distracting him and giving you leverage to shove him off and get the fuck away. You dart down the steps, fixing your skirt as you head outside and away from the house.

Fuck, you're far from campus. And Kass and Jimin aren't around.

God.

You groan and run your hand through your hair as you continue to walk down the hill and into the neighborhood to get as far away as possible from that house and that gross ass dude. He was literally just like the rest of the basketball team. You've heard stories and they weren't nice. Looks like he was trained well already, and that shit was sad. What a waste. A beautiful human being with such a nasty, sick mindset. You hoped other girls hadn't fallen for his shit.

Ugh, it sends shivers down your spine. Bad shivers.

"Hello? Y/N?"

"Kook, can you come pick me up please?"

"Yeah, yeah. Of course. Where are you?"

"I'll drop my location. Please hurry." You say, looking back to make sure your coast was clear. You drop the pin into your text thread with Jungkook and sit on the curb until his arrival. It's getting pretty chilly out, and the denim jacket you're wearing fails to provide you with the warmth you're looking for. Sooner or later, Jungkook is pulling up, damn near hopping out before he can shift the gear into park.

"You okay? What happened?" He says, opening the door for you before rushing over to the driver's seat.

"Nothing, can we just go back to your place?" He nods silently, and doesn't press any further after hearing your tone. He watches from his peripherals how you fiddle with your fingers and constantly reach to pull your skirt down even though he doesn't think there's any other way you could pull it down even more. He watches as he parks the car on the curb in front of his apartment how you simply undo your seatbelt and hop out to walk straight into his apartment. He watches as you welcome yourself into his closet and pick out some clothes for you to change in.

You were hurt, and his blood boils thinking about who could've done this and what they could have possibly done.

I mean, no. He knows who did this, but the question was what exactly did he try?

He hears the shower turn on, then quickly get turned off after a good 5 minutes. You had stepped in for a quick body shower, using Jungkook's bodywash just to rid yourself of feeling gross. Feeling gross from being shoulder to shoulder all night long, people breathing down your neck. Kang touching you inappropriately. You slip into Jungkook's clothes, his scent wrapping around you entirely. When you head back into the room, Jungkook has his headset back on as he faces his computer, logging back onto his game of League of Legends. You silently toss your dirty clothes to the side of his room, making a mental note to grab it tomorrow morning and toss it straight into the laundry.

Straight into a fire, perhaps. But you loved those clothes so much, it was unfortunate it'd have such a horrible memory to go with it.

Jungkook slowly removes his headset again and removes himself from his game before he heads over and sits on the edge of his bed. You simply look at him, pursing your lips tightly together to prevent yourself from crying.

But he can tell.

"What happened Y/N?" The question triggers you, making you cry into your hands as he sits there, dumbfounded and worried at how he can fix this and make you feel better. "Look, you don't have to tell me all the details but please tell me how I can help. At least tell me if I need to beat Kang's ass." He says, pulling you into his arms.

"He tried to fucking take advantage of me." You mumble as you remove your face from your hands.

"He did what?" He manages to ask even though he has a hard time swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. He already assumed you had placed him in the same category as Kang even though he never intended to take advantage of you. He really took that night as something special [even drunk], and he never meant to make you feel like you were a used object. Not like Kang.

"He-he," You sniffed. "He tried to force me into having sex with him. He took me upstairs at that lacrosse guy's party or whoever the hell it even was, and he started to aggressively kiss me. And then he tried to force my panties down and touch me there, and—"

"Okay, please don't go on or else I'll literally go over there and tear his ass apart right now. I promise you." He says sternly, his jaw clenching tightly. "God, fuck. I'm so sorry Y/N. I can't apologize on his behalf but fuck, you didn't deserve that." He uses his sweater to wipe your tears.

"I don't even know why I'm crying, this shit isn't even worth it." You groaned. "It's just overwhelming to process, I guess."

"That's okay." He says, letting out a sigh as he brushes his hand through your hair and continues to wipe the stragglers falling from your eyes. "Anything I can get you right now?"

"No, I'm probably just gonna go to bed." He nods. "Thank you for picking me up."

"Of course. You know I'll always be there." He says. You slip yourself into his sheets, watching as he makes his way back to his desk. But fuck, the only thing you needed right now was him. You didn't want this distance anymore, and you just wanted to be comforted in true Jungkook fashion.

"Wait."

"Hm?" He hums as he has a hand placed on the  head of his chair while he turns to you.

"Can you just lay with me?"

"Yeah." He says, shutting off his computer before making his way over to you in the dark. You feel him slip in next to you, his arm snaking around your shoulders so he can pull you close and onto his chest. "Better?"

"Yeah." You say, shutting your eyes as you listen to his heart beat.

"Y/N."

"Yeah?"

"I never meant to take advantage of you, or make you feel like I used you that one night." Silence. "It was dumb of me, but I just— I had trouble coming to terms with my feelings. I was scared that you wouldn't feel the same way, but I thought fuck it, at least you would know, right?"

"What are you talking about, Kook?" You ask, close to a whisper.

"I'm saying that I really fucking like you, Y/N. No, that's not right." He curses himself. "I-I uh, I'm in love with you. And I don't know if I messed this up already with the way I acted, god I hope not, but you at least deserve to know that I truly do value you and that you mean alot to me. That night, even though we were pretty plastered, it meant a lot to me. It was more than just sex and I'm sure you felt that too." He waits for your response as his fingers rake through your hair. "Please say something, anything."

"I feel the same way, Jungkook. You're an idiot for running off, but I couldn't even stay mad at you. You just know how to hit my soft spots and I can never say no to it. Can never turn my back on it." He presses a kiss against the top of your head.

"Fuck, I'm really glad to hear that cause I don't know what I would have done besides cry if you rejected me." You playfully hit his chest.

"You're annoying." You jokingly say as you chuckle.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I never wanted to hurt you."

"It's okay." You look up to press your lips against his before laying back down.

"And Kang better be fucking glad you're pressed against my body right now because I'm still looking to beat his ass."

"He's not even worth it." Is the last thing you say before you find yourself drifting into a deep sleep, in the comfort of Jungkook's arms.

"You two feeling okay? Nervous?" You and Jungkook shake your heads. "Good, you guys got this. You've been looking amazing during practice, the audience will love you two, no doubt. Just remember to show emotions through expressions and hit every beat sharply." Hoseok nods in unison with the both of you.

"Got it, thanks Hobi." You smile at him toothlessly. You and Jungkook patiently waited for your turn backstage, the talent show already off to a wild and fun start. So many students came by to showcase their talents - from beatboxing, open mic, freestyling [like Yoongi did], dancing, singing, you name it. It was always a fun time at the talent show, and it was always nice to see people getting love for the shit they loved to do.

"You're up next." Hoseok says. "I'll be in the front row. Kick ass and have fun!" He says as he rushes off towards the opposite end to head back out to his seat in the theater.

"Ready?" Jungkook holds out his hand for you to take.

"I think so." You playfully respond as the backstage crew is rushing out the previous talent and rushing you two in to take your places on stage. The lights pick up as soon as the music starts, Kang's big ass head already in full view for you. He's definitely not smiling, no, he has a look of pure disgust because he simply couldn't get what he wanted from you.

And boy, who's fault was that? Not yours, no sir. It was his fault for thinking he had it like that.

But anyways, you're feeling the music, you're feeling the piece because you're dancing with your bestfriend and there wasn't this grey area anymore. It was easier to get into the motions, to get into the feeling, especially when things felt right between the two of you.

And God, what else is more attractive than Jeon Jungkook hitting his 8 counts so smoothly, with just enough umph to make it pop but make it pop cleanly.

Yo, please. I beg. Send some help. You could literally melt on stage.

The moments where Jungkook has to be close to you, where he has to touch you - you let him, and you touch him with meaning. You don't stray away this time because you have no reason to. The crowd is cheering, lots of 'ou's' and 'aw's' erupting from various places in the theater.

"Pretty lady." Jungkook whispers in your ear as the move requires his hands to be placed on your hips for a quick moment. You hear him slightly singing along to the song as he parts from you, causing you to blush.

Sooner or later, the couple piece is over and the song is transitioning to Jimin's piece, you and Jungkook rushing off the stage so the next group can take their positions. Jimin wanted to test his limits, creating a piece a little different than his usual taste - Chris Brown's Came to Do begins blaring through the theater speakers. You immediately jump into Jungkook's arms once you both reach backstage, the both of you immensely happy and pumped that you got through the piece without messing up one step or beat. It went so smoothly that Hoseok was standing in the front row, clapping and cheering in typical Hoseok fashion. You intertwine your fingers with his, slipping through the side door to catch Jimin's piece on stage. You and Jungkook are cheering them on, always impressed by the shit your friends can come up with. You both loved dancing, but you couldn't even imagine coming up with your own pieces to teach people.

That night after the show, everyone heads to a nearby restaurant for dinner with everyone. You all take up almost an entire section of the restaurant, splitting two long tables to accommodate the entire group with doubled the waitresses to take your orders. You settle for water, splitting an abnormally huge and filled deep dish pizza with Jimin, Kass and Jungkook. It was a good day, a good night, everyone at the table happily eating and chatting it up over dinner. You turn down any drinks because to be honest, drinks lowkey make you queasy just from the thought of how much you drank at Jungkook's apartment, plus the added bonus of that party Kang took you to. Jungkook declines as well, knowing he has to drive you back safely.

Jimin and Kass head back to the apartment because Yoongi says he's gonna hang out with Joon And Hoseok for a bit, and they warn you and Jungkook that things may get loud so the both of you decide to really stick to the plan of bringing you back to the dorm. Jungkook does his usual routine of dropping you off first before finding parking around campus. You hop in the shower and come out in Jungkook's oversized crewneck that he left in your closet, forgoing the shorts because you certainly thing that at this point, he'd love to see you in his sweater and panties.

And he does. He smiles as he pulls you close, his hands traveling up your sweater, only to find out that you literally don't have shit on besides some cute little boyshorts. He feels himself hardening in his pants quick because he's incredibly attracted to you and everything about you, always has been, always will be.

"You did amazing tonight." He says, gently kissing your forehead.

"You did too, partner." He gives you a slightly shocked look.

"Is that all I am to you? Your dance partner?"

"Yeah, why? Were you expecting more?" You joke as you smile up at him.

"Yeah, I was."

"Oh?" He gently swoops you up into his arms, your legs wrapped tightly around his torso as he sits you on the bed, his hands resting on your thighs while you continued to hold him around the neck. "Care to tell me what you were expecting?"

"Well, you know, my best friend—" He presses a kiss against your lips, thumbs gently rubbing circles against your hips. "My girlfriend."

"Hm, say that again?" Your fingers are gently playing with the ends of his hair, your lips barely grazing his.

"My girlfriend." He says closed to a whisper, kissing you softly. The kiss deepens quick, Jungkook's tongue lining your bottom lip as his way of asking for permission to take it further. You gladly take it and let him in, your tongues instantly fighting for dominance. Your fingers travel up his hair, tugging ever so slightly just to let him know you want more. That you need more.

And he gets that.

His fingers hook onto the band of your boyshorts, tugging them down and letting them fall down your legs and onto the floor. He breaks the kiss momentarily, his brown, puppy dog eyes looking straight into yours.

"Hey." He says, brushing the hair out of your face.

"Hm?"

"I know I said the last time was special, and it was. It is." He corrects himself. "But, I wanna do right by you this time around. So, is it okay if I keep going? Are you comfortable?" He asks properly, since the two of you are both sober and perfectly coherent, aware of your surroundings and the fact that you'll be seeing each other fully naked in a few minutes.

"Yes." You respond. "Yes, I want you to keep going. I want you. This." He simply nods, bringing his lips back onto yours. His hands climb up your sweater and gently gives your breasts a good squeeze, earning a small moan from the both of you. His other hand begins to travel down to your pussy, two long fingers slowly probing your entrance and causing your breathing to hitch.

"You okay?" He asks lowly. You nod, biting onto your bottom lip as you tilt your head back and rest on your hands, no longer able to keep up with the kiss due to all the pleasure starting to pile up deep in your core. Jungkook starts of slow, his head now buried into the crook of your neck as he works his digits upward, tickling at the right spot.

"Ohhhh, Kook." You mewl as his tongue swipes across the surface of your neck, biting gently beneath your jaw. He begins to pick up the pace, the sounds of him finger fucking you filling up the room entirely.

"Fuck, you're so wet baby." He groans into your neck.

"I'm gonna cum." You whine, teeth almost piercing through your bottom lip in between your whimpers.

"Need to taste you." He removes his fingers and sinks down in between your thighs, gripping onto them and pulling you just a teensy bit more off the edge of the bed so he can get a good angle. The sight of his eyes looking up at you in between your legs is to die for, and the sight alone is enough to make you cum. But, you hold on, you ride out for a little longer - feeling Jungkook's tongue swipe in and out of your folds before he's sucking endlessly on your clit.

"Ahhh, fuck, wait, Jungkook!" He slightly smiles while eating you out, signaling that he's not stopping even if you beg him to. "Hnnng—shit!" You moan loudly as you feel yourself toppling over the edge, your body shaking in Jungkook's grip. You twitch every time he continues to suck gently on your sensitive nub, letting you ride out the rest of your high. He comes back up to your lips, the taste of your own cum lingering on it as you kiss him deeply.

"You taste so good." He says, back to twirling your nipples in between his fingers.

"Wanna feel you." You fiddle with his jeans, undoing his belt and sliding the rest down as much as you could. Jungkook gets out of his shirt and tosses it aside before helping get the sweater above your head. His eyes glow at the sight of your bare body in front of him, wanting to do nothing but please you and please you well.

"God, you're so perfect." He places kisses down your collarbone, to the surface of your breasts before quickly swirling his tongue around your perked buds. You moan as you tug down onto his boxer briefs, immediately stroking his hardened member while he tended to you. Jungkook was a fucking beauty himself - his soft hair, his perfectly toned body, his long 'thick in all the right places' dick.

"Please." You plead. "I want you inside of me." You whimper, causing Jungkook's breathing to hitch when you slightly tighten your grip at the base of his shaft. He gently pushes your hand aside to take over, lining himself up at your entrance. He inserts the tip, watching your eyes roll to the back of the head as he slowly sinks into you.

"Mmmmmgod." He moans. "So tight for me, baby. So fucking wet and tight." He repeats, close to a growl. Your moaning begins to pick up, matching the pace of his thrusting. You're still on the edge of the bed, Jungkook keeping you steady by gripping your thighs tightly. He marvels at the sight of your titties bouncing up and down with every thrust, hissing and shutting his eyes momentarily to keep himself grounded and to prevent himself from coming too quickly. Cause god, he can literally blow any second now.

"Jungggggkooook, yessssss!" You moan loudly, whining even at this point with how good he feels fucking into you at such a fast pace. You're feeling slightly sore already from him hammering into you, but nonetheless, it builds more pleasure for you and you want nothing but to reach your high again. "I-I'm coming!" Jungkook moans in unison with you when he feels your walls pulsating against his cock.

"Such a good girl for me." He says, slowing his pace. The creamy sounds of Jungkook's cock slipping inside and out is music to the both of your ears. He finally gains the courage to remove himself, sitting next to your spot on the edge of the bed and pulling you onto his lap. You swing a leg over, your hands resting on the nape of his neck while you sink yourself lower onto his length. Your mouth opens to let out a moan, but the best you can do is let out a hiss. It feels too fucking good that you can't even process it thoroughly. Jungkook pushes your lips down onto his by grabbing your neck, his other hand guiding the movement of your hips as you roll into him.

"Mmmggg—Jungkook." You whimper in between kisses. "You feel so fucking good, god. You're gonna make me cum again."

"Yeah, cum for me. Cum all over me. It's yours." He grunts, his hands guiding you to work him faster. Your movements are getting sloppier, and you feel your wetness starting to coat his pelvis. He doesn't give a fuck though, and neither do you. This shit feels too good for you to worry about the mess you're making on him.

"Cum with me please." He moans at the sound of you whispering into his ear.

"Faster, baby." He says, almost making you cry at how awfully close you are to unraveling. You tug onto his hair, your head buried deep into his neck as you try and suck onto the surface, trying to find an outlet, some kind of release, until you let go. You suck harshly as you coat his cock with your cum, leaving a purple mark right at the base of his neck. You continue to ride out your high, rolling your hips sloppily as Jungkook finally lets himself go, his moan bouncing off of your walls as his seed fills you up warmly.

You stay in your position, slowly raising your head to cup his cheeks and kiss him deeply once more.

"Fuck, I love you." He says slightly pulling away.

"I love you too." You giggle.

"Didn't actually need any drinks to do this now, did we?" Jungkook jokes, softly pinching your hip.

"Shut up."

"Damn, you both couldn't even at least try to be quiet?!" Jimin yells from outside the door.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Hi! I was curious, since I'm writing my own alternative WW1 industrial-city fantasy story and you've done so spectacular with writing for your WW1 vampire AU, if you had any resources/recommendations for researching about the war? You put so many details into your pieces that I wouldn't have even thought of, like slang and certain terms, and the atmosphere of certain scenes, I figured I'd ask. But only if you didn't mind sharing of course!

OKAY, World War I Anon, here are some references and research sources I've been using as I work through the Vampire Chris story! Some of these are more tangentially related than anything, but it all helps to add context.

Have Read / Am Reading Now:

The Last of the Doughboys by Richard Rubin is my current WWI read, on hold at the moment (I'm on a break to read some fiction and poetry right now). In 2003, Rubin realized that we were rapidly losing the last of those American soldiers who had fought in WWI, located remaining survivors, and made it his goal and his mission to interview as many as possible, to allow them to tell their own stories. I have found this book invaluable because of the way it speaks about the enduring legacy of traumatic memory. Some of the men he speaks to will only barely touch on the rougher aspects of the war. Some of the men speak on it with vivid detail. Family members and descendants talk about what their relative would say and what he wouldn't say. It mirrored my own grandfather, who fought in WWII, in my mind - he served in the Pacific theater and i have absolutely on idea where he was or what he did, because he wouldn't talk to any of us about it at all. He kept the war locked up within himself, except that he would talk to my uncle about it, who was also sworn to secrecy.

So I found a lot of value in seeing these men who had "gone home and gotten back on with the business of living", despite the horrors they had tried as hard as they could to lock up within themselves.

Just a really excellent book, and Rubin is an engaging and fun writer.

All Quiet on the Western Front and The Road Back by Erich Maria Remarque are novels, but they were written by a man who directly experienced WWI and are widely considered the greatest novels ever written about the experience. In fact, the honesty in the books was so intense that the Nazi Party banned them during the Third Reich because it was felt they would lessen enthusiasm for war... by showing people what war was actually like, and the toll it took on the men and boys forced to fight it, even after they returned home.

Wasteland: The Great War and the Origins of Modern Horror by W. Scott Poole is more about the rise of German, French, British, American etc horror cinema and how the experience of WWI affected even those who didn't directly fight, and how the expression of art and creation of artworks, including cinema, was affected and changed in the aftermath. This is more of a contextual work rather than something direct, but I found that it gave me a lot of good information on how culture and society might be affected by such a war experience.

They Called It Shell Shock by Stefanie Linden is a little dry and academic (it's an academic book, after all) but it also has a wealth of information on shellshock, how it differed from our modern understanding of PTSD, the ways in which they are similar and the ways in which they are not, and tons and tons of firsthand accounts thanks to Linden gaining access to a wealth of patient information at a British and German hospital that primarily worked with the men suffering from this new and little-understood ailment. If you wanted me to recommend just one nonfiction book to get a sense of the actual mental state of the war, it'd be this one.

A World Undone by G.J. Meyer is the most readable while also being thorough overall histories of the war I've read, and I highly recommend it. It sets up the circumstances that made the war inevitable once the snowball started rolling down the hill, how the avalanche could have been avoided at so many turns but in the end, became a force of nature no one could quite resist.

This is the best book I've read as far as walking you through it month by month, year by year. TONS of really really great information here! Probably my second recommendation after They Called It Shell Shock.

The Great War in America: WWI and Its Aftermath by Garrett Peck is ONLY about the American experience. The leadup to our entry into WWI, our months spent fighting, and then the aftermath of the war and how its legacy affected the United States. I found this a necessity trying to understand what Chris would have experienced, how he would have understood the war. Americans had a different viewpoint, so far across the sea, and were largely isolationist right up until we just weren't any longer. Then the war machine swung into gear, and propaganda made us see ourselves as the necessary saviors of a Europe on the brink of total annihilation. It also walks you through how Woodrow Wilson's grand ambitions to create a League of Nations both succeeded and failed, but set up the concept of the United Nations. And if you want to understand postwar Germany and the rise of Nazis, I feel like reading up on the armistice and what happened during the negotiations that ended the war is very important.

But, yeah. This book is focused almost entirely on the American experience and legacy of WWI.

The Great War and Modern Memory by Paul Fussell is a little like Wasteland, but it focuses on the work of writers, primarily, who memorialized WWI in fiction and nonfiction. This book was originally a study published in 1970, so there are some dated phrasings and terminology, but go with it and it's a really, really valuable read with a wealth of information on how a generation had to contend with a horror beyond their prior imaginings and fit it into the modern world as they understood it.

Fussell's scholarship involves a lot of firsthand accounts (diaries, poetry, etc) some of which is easy to find, but some of which very much isn't. Oh gosh. It was such a good, useful book for me to get into the headspace of those who had survived the war, afterward, in how they constructed it in their memories.

The First World War by John Keegan is a full historical account, like A World Undone. Of the two, I'd recommend A World Undone, which I found more readable and easier to follow with. But it's still an excellent historical account from start to finish.

It's very dry, and could be difficult if you're a casual reader. Hell, it was difficult for me and I was explicitly looking for academic work. But it's still got a lot of really valuable information in it!

World War I: A Definitive Visual History by the Smithsonian is a huge coffee-table style book but it is absolutely jam-packed with information, both on the war and also on context. I found so much information on uniforms, and trench warfare, the Spanish flu and its effect on the soldiers fighting, the Armistice... all of it heavy with visual references, photographs, diagrams, maps, just anything you could want to see to better ground yourself in that place and time. Highly recommended. HIGHLY.

Sleepwalkers: How Europe Went to War in 1914 by Christopher Clark is a specifically in-depth look at the step-by-step slow-motion disaster that took us from a man's assassination to a catastrophic world war whose scars are still visible in the battlefields of France. You can get a really good look at how individuals and governments both could have stopped it, but also couldn't, hamstrung by tradition and stubborn intransigence... and in the end, millions died because of it.

Really great book, highly recommend.

Dead Wake by Erik Larson, about the sinking of the Lusitania by the Germans in 1915, is nonfiction that reads like a novel. In effect, Germany decided nearly a year into the war to change the rules of the game. Prior to this, while cargo ships had been subjected to attack, ships carrying passengers were largely left alone, because the rules of war stated civilians should be left alone. While there had been a ramping-up of tensions, Germany's attack on the Lusitania, and the loss of 1,200 souls, was considered an atrocity beyond anything else done to civilians that far into the war.

It also, indirectly, is the reason that the United States would end up involving itself more directly in the war, and eventually fighting as well.

It's a really good book, lots of research, and while I don't recommend it to help you with historical details, you'll get a really good feel for the tension of war and the way people had to keep on living in the middle of one.

This site and this one both have lists of poetry written during and after the war by those who experienced it that I found really, really invaluable. Absolutely lovely and horrible and terribly sad and angry and bitter. Just. Please take some time to read it, even if you're not a poetry person.

Books I Haven't Read But They're On My List:

The First Code Talkers: Native American Communicators in World War I by William C. Meadows. I had no idea that tribal languages were used for encryption in WWI and I'm really interested to dig into this one when I finish my current run of reading mostly poetry.

The Storm of Steel by Ernst Junger is essentially a direct account lifted from the diaries of a man who started out a young, idealistic German soldier and became a battle-hardened officer. This is considered one of the best firsthand accounts of the war, but I have yet to read it. I'm told you should try to find the reprint of the original 1929 translation to English if possible (if you need it in English).

The Guns of August by Barbara Tuchman used to be considered THE definitive account of the war, but it's dated and there are some questions about its accuracy and Tuchman's conclusions at this point. But I'm told there is still a hugely valuable wealth of information in the book and intend to add it to my research library. There is also a famous story about how JFK cited this book as part of the reason he resisted the call of his generals to fire during the 1962 missile crisis.

No Man's Land by Wendy Moore, about two women who started a battlefield hospital in France during a time when female doctors were allowed only to treat other women or children. This is definitely on my list! And I imagine will contain a really great amount of detail on how these hospitals operated and the difficulties they faced.

Other Resources: Visual and Audio

Also, when writing Barrage, I listened to this youtube video of what an artillery barrage would have sounded like, at a volume just below active physical discomfort. This video was also helpful for that!

This youtube compilation of a series of songs from WWI was a really good writing soundtrack, too.

This video includes colorized video and images of soldiers during WWI and oh man, sometimes you realize just how young some of those poor men were, and it hits you all over again watching them do what they could to find some fun and joy in such a hellscape.

This video of shellshocked war survivors, with tremors, terror responses, and more is sobering and really good viewing for a sense of what shellshock LOOKED like, because modern combat PTSD tends to present significantly differently (likely due primarily to the difference in artillery barrages vs. modern warfare)

This look at WWI's reconstructive surgery (which frankly was a huge, HUGE leap forward from surgery prior to the war) and how it took wounded men and attempted to reconstruct their faces so they could live comfortably out in the world is just amazing. Here's another set of photographs I recommend looking at as well as information on how plastic surgery was more or less invented because of WWI. It also gives you a good visual for the absolute atrocity of the war.

This site has incredible photographic evidence, but be warned that it is DEEPLY graphic and does not spare you the reality of what those "broken faces" looked like. Borders on gore.

Also I recommend following @hiddenwwi, a tumblr account that posts photos of the ruins left over from the war, including the underground ‘cities’, scars in the landscape, and other incredible visuals. 

Hope this is a helpful list of resources, Anon!

[dourpeep]

WAIT. I'm losing my mind over that friends to lovers post you reblogged. All I can think about is college Albedo + mutual pining, romantic tension, and friends to lovers OTL

- Leaving little post it notes in his bag or inside the cover of his textbook to tell him to have a nice day or remind him to take care of himself because you know he has a tendency to work too hard sometimes!! And what if he meets up with Sucrose and Timaeus because they like to catch up and sometimes discuss their research or homework, and they see Albedo hiding a grin behind his books and think that he's solved a particularly difficult problem but it's just a cute little note you slipped him when he wasn't looking

- You stay up studying for exams with Albedo and he dozes off on your shoulder so you sit there afraid to move because you don't want to wake him but you're also dying inside

- The two of you go to the library to work but eventually get distracted so it turns into the two you sitting close together on a couch and reading each other sections from your favourite books

- I can also see him as someone who rambles about labs or new research he's absolutely taken by. Weeks later when you mention something he said before, he's a little surprised but you just tell him that you tried your best to understand everything because you know it's important to him and maybe his heart skipped a little

- Going off your headcanons: Albedo looking for little specimens and deciding it could be a fun outing with Klee so she can get some sunshine and you find the two of them in the park. You end up joining them and Albedo's heart softens seeing you and Klee laughing and smiling together!

- I remember this little headcanon you had where he snorts when laughing sometimes and imagine Albedo letting one slip out while he's with you, and Kaeya teasing him later on.

- Eventually, his friends start asking if the two of you are together because of the silent affection and teasing between the two of you. Albedo knows he likes you but he's scared a relationship will ruin everything and you're too important to lose even if it means he never says anything, but little did he know, you have feelings for him too.

Anyway, I hope you have a nice day and week! Sorry about this monster of an ask lmao

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR ALBEDO

NEVER

Like... there are two characters that I seldom, if ever, turn down and that's my beloved Albedo and beloathed Scaramouche- If you don't want me to shut up about a topic??? Like just utter word vomit???? Bring them up. Bring them up, I dare you--

Okay okay okay okay now lemme just--

oops. 1.4k words. Enjoy your headcanon drabbles, courtesy of me being a hard simp for Albedo--

College au Albedo is pretty close to how he normally is! Brilliant, though having difficulties with making friends and keeping said friends, getting carried away with experiments (did you know if you're on good enough terms with the professors, they'll vouch for you so you can use the lab when there aren't classes using them?? Yeah)...so the friendship that you have with him is certainly the closest one he has.

It'd be the kind where you knock on his dorm or apartment door at 11:45pm with some takeout and your textbooks and he'll let you in without a second thought. You slip inside and settle on the floor next to the coffee table cross-legged, setting the food out as if you don't live a good walk away. He wasn't going to sleep any time soon anyway.

Like the kind of friendship where your hand instinctively slips into his to tug him towards something cool you found or to the caf�� where you tend to go after classes.

Even after you get to your destination, you don't let go.

Now that that has been established--the little notes you slip into his bag or on his books really began as a little reminder. Despite his keen intellect, Albedo tends to easily forget things because his mind is always going onto the next thing. So, being the great friend you are, would just slip a note to remind him to take breaks, eat a snack, or that you're supposed to go and meet Sucrose and Timaeus after class to prep for the upcoming exams.

Neither of you really know when they began to turn into doodles or 'seemingly platonic declarations of adoration'. It's normal for friends to write a heart besides "Don't forget I love you!", right? Yeah.

The smile that makes it's way on Albedo's face is unmistakable the moment that Sucrose accidentally stumbles upon a sticky note carefully tucked in one of his notebooks.

-

Speaking of Albedo and his tendencies to get carried away with stuff, he often functions on...minimal sleep.

Those nights that you pop up at his place to study or just hang out, he often ends up dozing off, glasses sliding uncomfortably down the bridge of his nose and hair tousled out of it's usual style.

You never plan to stay the night (though even when he's awake he insists you do because it's not as safe at night to make the commute home), but you can't just disturb his sleep when it's the first time in a while that he's probably gone without taking a capsule or two of melatonin to help himself back into some semblance of a sleep schedule.

It's these moments that you remember just how soft his hair is and just how nice his shampoo smells.

Also that he's a cuddler.

You awake in the morning, back aching and eyes squinting against the sudden brightness of the world around you and limbs tangled with your best friend. He's unbothered because his face is half-shoved against the crook of your neck.

-

With the library, you often find yourselves in a little game. There's so much to learn and so, so many topics through the old vanilla-scent found between pages!!

So trips to the library end up with the two of you digging and sifting to find a topic you've never heard of, sit and read for 15 minutes, then proceed to explain said topic the best you can (without looking!!). It almost always ends up with a few chuckles from Albedo as you fumble explaining (and half-making up) information and Albedo's (unfairly) great short-term memory winning out.

Speaking of...between actually studying and your little topic games, Albedo turns to you to bounce off his current observations and ideas. Sucrose and Timaeus, though both in similar majors as Albedo, are busy with their own projects and research to the point that they don't really have the time to help with stuff as extensive as his research.

Annnnd, naturally, since you don't have anything better to do and are almost always by his side, you play that part!

You listen intently no matter how dense the subject may be and no matter if you do or do not have the background knowledge.

When you ask him to explain something you don't quite understand, he can't help but blink in surprise because you were listening??? And wanted to really understand? You prove time and time again (even days, weeks later) that you listened to every word that tumbled out during his rambles.

And of course you do! Albedo's one of the most important people to you, so it's only natural that you want to show interest in his interests.

Also it's pretty cool to find out those random bits of trivia (like lobsters and their repairable telomeres-).

--

Klee!!!

Oh man, the first time that you met Klee was a pretty hectic day for Albedo. Due to his Aunt Alice's incredibly busy schedule, he tends to care for Klee on days that he doesn't have class.

However, that particular day he just barely finished class before he had to go and pick her up from school.

With you in tow, that is.

Immediately, the little girl brightens up at your presence, no doubt excited from what she's heard about you (listening in to Albedo's conversations with Alice and the embarrassed tone in his voice when he realizes that he's let your name slipped again and now Aunt Alice wants to know about this particular friend who's captured dear little Bedo's attentions). He's relieved when Klee doesn't immediately reveal that.

From then on, Klee insists that Albedo invites you for every outing they have.

The cafe for a quick treat? The bookstore to sit and read a few books?

"Oh, please please please?? Can they come Albedo? Klee promises that she'll be good!"

Who is he to say no?

But above all, those park days are his favorite. You end up running around with Klee, lifting her up so she can reach a particular leaf on a branch, squatting down to see a bug or lizard that she's entirely enthralled by--all while Albedo sits under the shade of a tree on a blanket, sketchbook and pencil in hand.

You don't know it (even though there's many occasions where he's shown you his sketchbook), but the pages are filled with your smile.

-

Around you, Albedo's found that he's most comfortable.

There's no need to hide insecurities or hold his tongue when something particularly exciting comes to mind...nor does he hold back in his laughter. Especially with your insistence that his laugh is cute.

That scenario with Kaeya is entirely an accident, proof of just how used to your presence he's become.

It's a late night and you're out with a bigger group of friends than usual, some friends that Albedo's only known since the start of college, but definitely good ones.

With a drink in your hand you all sit at a large table, chatting about anything and everything when you crack a joke and Albedo snorts.

Not like a snort with his normally quiet chuckle, either.

Instead, he's laughing hard, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes and stomach hurting (and maybe it's because of the few sips of drink he's had) and he snorts. The moment the sound escapes him and he's trying hard to calm back down, Kaeya grins.

He's most definitely one of the first people to put two and two together.

After all, Albedo keeps to himself, even around them. But with you around? There's a certain spark of life that ignites.

-

It's no surprise that the two of you are close when all is said and done.

But that doesn't stop either of you from choking and cheeks from flushing when someone asks if you're a couple. It happens often--too often to count--and ranges between Kaeya's teasing comments and a few sweet words from an elderly woman passing by your table at the cafe.

And you laugh--you and Albedo--because no, no, you're just friends.

Right?

Then the light hits your features just right, illuminating you in a soft glow that makes your eyes shine and--

It's undeniable the way that he feels for you. The sudden quickening of his heartbeat is proof enough. You slide your drink towards him for him to try and he does the same, eyes unable to leave your lips as you take a sip and then smile.

Between the cracks of his appreciation, of this warmth, dread seeps.

Though...that was just over a week ago.

Sitting down back at his apartment, your head resting on his chest and your hands intertwined while you watch whatever's on tv, you shift. Your lips meet in a sweet kiss.

And Albedo wonders how neither of you managed to see it sooner.

[bloodpacks-archive]

ENGAGEMENT RINGS OF THE RFA (+V AND SAERAN)

first we have zen’s ring - the biggest thing for zen is waiting. he doesn’t want to get engaged until he’s financially stable enough to give the mc something that she really deserves. it won’t be anything crazy expensive, but it certainly won’t be cheap either. his proposal is also incredibly public. almost embarrassingly so. it’s almost certainly after one of his shows (if he plays his cards right, it’s the most successful one yet) and he makes a big announcement and pulls her up on stage. the engagement ring is red and silver because... well i think that one’s obvious. every time the mc looks at it, she’ll be reminded of his red eyes and white (or in this case, silver) hair.

next is yoosung’s ring - he doesn’t propose until after he’s graduated college and has a job lined up. at this point, he feels like he finally has his life together and he really wants the mc to be there with him for the rest of it. he spends probably too much of the ring, let’s be honest. he doesn’t have the greatest fashion taste in the world and some part of him thinks big pretty diamond = i love my wife. he also sees one of those proposals where they put it in a dessert and he decides then that he’s definitely going to do that. takes the mc out to a really nice restaurant and all, and puts the ring in this really nice cake with the help of the staff, and then starts losing his mind because he’s afraid she’s going to accidentally eat it. mainly because he realizes at that exact moment that he would definitely accidentally put the ring in his mouth if he was in her situation. but no worries! she finds the ring and all goes well.

jaehee’s cute little ring ^^ - it’s so dainty and sweet, and it’s so perfectly jaehee. neither her nor the mc are big on really outlandish or dramatic jewelry (or anything, for that matter) so this ring ends up being really perfect for them. jaehee’s proposal was hardly a proposal. after working at the bakery one night, she took a moment to lean back on the counter and watch as the mc cleaned up the last of their workspace. she’d probably been thinking about it for a while, and then the question just kind of came out. it was as much of a shock to her as it was to the mc, but it was a happy one at that. as soon as they have the free time, they go out to find their engagement rings together.

jumin han’s ridiculous ring - sapphire. he loves the rich color of the ring and he thinks it looks great on her. it is heart wrenchingly professional but in a way that definitely makes it clear who she’s engaged to. obviously, we know when jumin’s engagement happens, but here’s the thing. this is definitely not the ring he would’ve picked out on his own. if it was his choice, it would be even more ridiculous (though still custom made). if there’s a certain ring that the mc wants, she has to casually mention it on like day 3 and he’ll write that down to have it made should the need arise (and it does, christ it does). but honestly, he’s really sweet about the engagement ring. I’ve mentioned this before, but he loves whenever she wears it. he really likes to lightly twist it around her finger whenever he holds her hand because he loves the reminder that she’s his. he takes some guiding into the correct direction, but once he gets it, he falls in love with it.

everyone look at saeyoung’s ring - something so deep in my bones tells me that saeyoung is either a “we’re engaged for the rest of eternity” or “we can elope but please don’t call me husband that sounds old and formal” kind of guy. so he ends up getting this really sweet ring that might not be a very traditional engagement ring, but it’s something that they both really liked and it means a lot to both him and the mc. similar to jaehee, he doesn’t propose in the formal sense of the term. honestly, it happens really late one night in bed. they’ve moved out of the bunker because he finally feels safe enough to do that (though he never really lets go of his security system) and he kind of just decides on it. they’ve been laying in bed together and talking for a while, and he plays with her fingers while he speaks, and he’s shaking a bit while he thinks about it. honestly, he’s thought about this for a long time—played with the idea for at least a few months, even got a ring just in case the time felt right. he doesn’t want anything big, he doubts she would either, and he realizes that the time feels right. he whispers the question in her ears while his hands fall over her sides and down her arms, her reply bitten by sweet laughter.

oh god jihyun kim’s ring - he’s really not one to spend a lot of money on things, but his engagement ring is really something that’s important to him. he wants this to be special, so he gets an opal engagement ring. it’s sweet and artistic and something that he really falls in love with. he loves how it looks against her skin and falls in love with the way it feels whenever his fingers brush against hers. the mc, ever sweet to jihyun, actually ends up giving him an engagement ring of his own. she says that he deserves something as beautiful as he gave her, and though he’ll never believe her, he loves and accepts the ring. it’s a similar one to the one he gave her, but the jewels are embedded into a much simpler ring. unfortunately, his work prevents him from wearing his ring on his hand most of the time, so instead he gets a really thin and dainty necklace chain and wears the ring around his neck. it’s always under his clothes so he can feel the cool jewelry against his skin, but also so that it’s always close to his heart. also similarly to saeyoung, he ends up proposing in private. though i find it more likely that he’d do it on like a really secluded beach or maybe in a little clearing in a forest he likes to go to for pictures. it’s sweet and he gets down on one knee but he doesn’t even have to say anything before he’s being pulled into a kiss.

beautiful saeran’s ring - this is going to take. a while to happen. like, probably a good few years before he’s comfortable with this. i think that love was something that he kind of dreamed of when he was a kid to escape the environment of his household for a while, but it’s always seemed so far away so it takes him a long time to realize that the mc really isn’t going anywhere and that he doesn’t even want her to. when he does finally get comfortable, he takes a lot of time to look for rings and find one that he really likes. he chooses this one because it reminds him of nature and he likes the way it twists and how small and sweet it is. his proposal is definitely a nervous one. he turns red when the mc walks into the garden with him and he worries that this might be the final time she can say no. but she doesn’t, never would to him, and proudly wears his sweet little ring.

[shihalyfie]

Comparing the original Best Partner character song series and the new one, and what that says about the 02 cast

So if you haven’t heard yet, a new series of 02 (it’s actually Kizuna) character songs dropped! Allegedly intended as a slightly delayed 20th anniversary project, the series is a callback to the original “Best Partner” character song album series that released during 02′s actual airing.

If you know anything about the original Best Partner series, it’s one that sets an insanely high bar, even for Digimon standards (and that’s saying something, given the deep associations this franchise has with music). The series of character songs before it, Adventure’s “Character Song + Mini Drama” series, has a…kind of questionable amount of relevance to each character; it’s not like they’re super amazingly out of character, but they don’t really tell you a lot about each character beyond some gloss details (this is probably best demonstrated in how Mimi’s song is blatantly just an AiM single disguised as a Mimi song). Best Partner, on the other hand, very intimately goes into each character’s head and their relationships with their respective partners, even putting in direct words what wasn’t stated explicitly in the series.

So does the new series live up to the high bar its predecessor sets? Answer: on top of some abnormal attention to detail on the covers, it is very obvious that the new series not only has a lot of the depth of the 02 characters in mind, but also is made in direct response to the original series itself. Moreover, putting the original Best Partner series and this one side by side reveals a lot about each of the 02 characters and what they got out of 02′s story, in a surprisingly neat summary.

Let’s go into how!

Since this is something that has a deep relationship with all of these characters in regards to the series, this particular meta would not have been possible without input from multiple people who know these characters better than I could ever hope to by myself. Thank you for all of your help.

A bit of historical context

The original Best Partner series consisted of a set of albums, one representing each pair of partners in 02. Notably, even though nowadays there’s a specific order of the Adventure/02 characters that’s used in modern media, not only does the original series not follow that ordering (as it hadn’t been set in stone at the time), it also leads with the original Adventure characters and not the 02 ones, which is pretty unusual for a series that’s ostensibly supposed to be for 02 (modern lineups will usually favor leading with whichever group the relevant product is branded with).

A lot of this probably makes more sense when you realize that the original Best Partner series was released during the first half of 02’s airing. The final album was released on August 23, 2000, four days before the fateful 02 episode 21 (yes, that means the third track on Ken and Wormmon’s album is actually a spoiler). So in other words, while the original Best Partner series accurately reflects the older Adventure group’s character development and what problems they were able to sufficiently overcome, the 02 group does not have anything about their character development from 02′s second half reflected in it at all.

That’s actually a really huge disparity, when you think about it, especially because a lot happened with the 02 group in that second half – that second half was where the emotional payoff and the results of everything that had been building up over that first half came together. So in comparison to the Adventure group, composed of people confidently talking about what they’ve decided for themselves from now on, you still have the 02 group drenched pretty deeply in insecurity. Watch 02 to the end and listen to those songs again, and you might even think “wait, this is supposed to represent these characters?” So, in essence, the new Best Partner series serves to address that gap, and what the 02 group gained and learned out of 02′s second half.

Best Partner (and its successor series for Tamers, Best Tamers) follows a uniform format: a solo song for the human partner, a solo song for the Digimon partner, and a duet between the two. (Given that, the original Best Partner series was really huge, at a whole 36 songs.) Recalling that, in the Adventure universe, a Digimon partner reflects the human’s inner self and psyche, it’s pretty extensive coverage: what the human has to say about themself, what place their Digimon partner is in relative to that, and what the nature of their relationship is due to that.

Let’s go into each pair of partners in detail!

Daisuke and V-mon

For those who love 02 and love Daisuke in particular, when you ask “what kind of character is Daisuke like?” or “what’s Daisuke’s best quality?”, you’re probably going to get answers like “forward-thinking” or “positive” or “good at uplifting others” – basically everything to do with how Daisuke is an encouraging presence who doesn’t give in easily and has a strong mentality of moving forward in the face of despair. Someone who appreciates and understands others’ best qualities, and loves them for everything they are. So when you look at his original Best Partner solo song, Goggle Boy…

But more than just saving the world I really don’t want to lose, you know

…Uh…

These goggles are my proof Given by a certain someone to me The precious thing he handed over It’s just like his Crest, you know Aren’t they cool?

…Well, that’s nowhere to be found.

This is the kind of song that might make you think “wait, this is supposed to be Daisuke’s representative song?!” (It’s possibly because of this that Daisuke’s song from The Bridge to Dreams, Tomorrow, generally tended to be far more favored among Daisuke fans, although it’s more relevant to 02 as a whole than it is to Daisuke in particular.) if you listen to Goggle Boy knowing about what Daisuke’s best qualities should be, this is almost a little frustrating, because this is the kind of thing he really shouldn’t be pigeonholed as – basically, begging for others’ approval and praise and focusing on idolizing others. Even his most insightful moments in this song come from his appreciation of something that came from someone else (Taichi), not from himself.

Well, the thing is, that was Daisuke’s character for most of the first half of 02. Of course, even in early episodes, there were many times where Daisuke’s potential for positivity and forward-thinkingness were starting to poke through, but most of the time he was rolling over trying to please others and chasing after his seniors. The real period of time he started to grow into his own about this was 02 episode 24 and its aftermath – when his time spent with his friends started to fill the void in his life and his need for validation, and the escalating situation, especially with Ken, led him to have a proper grasp of what was properly important and what needed to be done.

So when we get to his new solo, RUNNING MAN…

I’ll keep on running far ahead Let’s bring everyone along with me, today, too Really, always, thank you, Thank you so much Riding the wind, going past the sky Grasping your hands and flying I’m even starting to see beyond my dreams

Even in only one section, you can get an instant image of the Motomiya Daisuke we all know and love – someone who appreciates his friends’ role in his life, loves their company, and moves positively towards the future. Because, again, after the events of 02, and after being able to bond further with his friends and gaining his own strengths in leading everyone forward, he became able to more properly express his love for everything instead of constantly vying for others’ attention. Even the title reflects the change, from a “boy” who’s flashing the symbol of courage he got from someone else, to a “man” who’s positively running forward on his own merits.

(Interestingly, RUNNING MAN is composed by Ohta Michihiko, a legendary composer who’s made many of some of the most important songs in the franchise, and also composed many of the original Best Partner songs, including Goggle Boy. It’s interesting how RUNNING MAN is the one most like the original songs in atmosphere as a result – possibly representing how Daisuke is a simple-minded person who ostensibly doesn’t change drastically in disposition – yet has lyrical content that’s so starkly different.)

As a result, this is subtly reflected in the other two songs in each album as well – remember that V-mon is one of the partners who most “matches” his own partner in terms of disposition and mentality. So as Daisuke shifted his own priorities, V-mon did too; we go from Go Ahead! being about taking a stand and fighting, whereas Beyond the Future is about a similar forward-thinking mentality to Daisuke’s.

Likewise, the duets have different priorities as well; 2-TOP was composed of Daisuke and V-mon bickering for the most of it, and the most substantial point you could get about it was that despite their bickering, they made it work, whereas HEY-rasshai! has them almost entirely in sync (with one minor moment of deviance). It’s also interesting to see the topics covered in each; 2-TOP is about soccer, which ultimately is revealed to be a fairly incidental hobby for Daisuke, whereas HEY-rasshai! is about ramen making, which, while comical, also has a very strong tie to “Daisuke’s dream for the future, and his willingness to single-mindedly dedicate himself to something when it’s something he truly wants”. In other words, while Daisuke knew what he wanted since elementary school, it says a lot that he’s at a point where he and V-mon are now taking proactive steps to have that dream achieved, now that they’re able.

Ken and Wormmon

Like with his position in 02 itself, Ken’s is probably the easiest to see the contrast without trying too hard, but there’s still quite a lot to unpack!

When you think about it, in the modern era, it’s actually surprisingly hard to find stuff too relevant to Ken’s time as the Kaiser. The reason is, simply, that the series itself discourages this – Ken himself had an obvious aversion to dwelling too much on it, and the entire series itself has a strong theme of “moving on”. It’s not to say that the Kaiser doesn’t have a fanbase (I’m sorry if you’re reading this and find that I might be implying too hard that you don’t exist), but rather that there’s a franchise and fanart tendency to focus more on “Ken-chan” than ��the Kaiser” these days, and old merch from the first half of the series will all too often get responses of “it’s really sad Ken-chan can’t be there…” Of course, 02 itself was also about accepting one’s mistakes, not pretending they never happened, so it’d be foolhardy to deny Ken’s dark history entirely, but it’s retroactively interesting to see such a prominent and persistent piece of merch like Ken and Wormmon’s original Best Partner album focus so largely on Ken’s time as the Kaiser when most of the franchise ended up trying to move on.

Starting with Ken’s solo songs, and his first one, ONLY ONE:

I’ve lived without showing my true feelings, wearing this mask

Well, this was easy to tell from the series itself, but the point driven home is that Ken didn’t want to expose his true self to others, putting on a front of “strength” and smashing his true feelings into the corner so that he could become more of the “perfect” person he thought he was supposed to be. There’s also another interesting line that one should pay attention to:

I polished the knife in my heart and put my belief in infinite power

Basically, putting up a defensive front to prevent anything from approaching his weaknesses.

Anyway, moving onto his new song, Never Ending:

If I want to be proud of tomorrow’s version of myself I wonder, what can I do? Never Give-up I’ll keep fighting, even doing someone else’s part No, I won’t be afraid anymore

First of all, the main theme of the song is about putting conscious thought into understanding how to stay true to himself – basically, understanding what it is he really wants to do and become, instead of putting on fronts and hiding it from others. Not only that, we see traces of what exactly he gained over the course of the second half of 02 – because so much of it involved constantly trying to blame himself for everything, this song is about what he came to learn in terms of proactively making it up and actively fighting forward. He’s working hard!

We also have this part:

The knife that’s pointed at someone, or at myself If it’s been let go of

Two things going on here: firstly, we have an explicit reference to the metaphorical “knife” Ken referred to putting up in ONLY ONE, talking about finally letting it go instead of bothering with this kind of front. He also points out that, in a sense, the knife was pointed at himself too, either in the sense of actually having hurt himself through this entire ideal, or in the sense that he constantly was trying to blame and punish himself for everything. None of that should be necessary anymore. Moreover, Never Ending contains a lot of references to “daily life” and the happiness that comes with the simplicity of just being alive – because that was indeed what Ken gained through his experiences, the ability to treasure living life in itself instead of aspiring to an impossible standard.

Another interesting thing about Never Ending is that it’s technically in a similar rock genre to ONLY ONE instead of being “soft”, like Ken’s personality is often thought to be. This was a surprise to a lot of people who commented on how surprisingly “cool” the song was, but this is actually completely in line with Ken arguably being one of the most openly assertive people in this group even after his reformation. Note that it’s very difficult to call this song purely angsty – it’s definitely positive and forward-thinking, and the chorus itself is partially in major key – but it has the vibe of someone who’s fully aware of everything that’s happened, is putting proper thought into it, and is pushing on despite everything. Remember, the intensity the Kaiser had originally came from somewhere; Ichijouji Ken is the same person, in the end.

In regards to Wormmon’s song, the contrast is also obvious: The Future You Dreamed of, the Future I Dreamed Of. is of course about Wormmon’s tormented feelings during the Kaiser’s abusive relationship with him, whereas can change it! is about its aftermath and how they made up (including copious references to the events of 02 episode 23). Even then, there’s a certain “forward-thinking” attitude that marks this song as being representative of being after 02’s events and not during – see the line “The mistake we made that day/is exactly the reason we’ll never let it happen again”, instead of the self-punishment and shame Stingmon expressed in 02 episode 26).

On top of that, the duet song Forever Adolescence also marks a subtle progression from the point they were at from True Strength – remembering that Best Partner 12 was released at a time when True Strength was actually a bit of a spoiler, while Ken and Wormmon obviously had made up by that point, the key line in it is still “everything truly begins from here”. So what, exactly, happened after that? According to Forever Adolescence, the decision made was to keep moving forward, and, moreover, to stay “the way they are”, especially with the nuance that it means it’s okay to not force oneself into the role of an adult and stay “young at heart”. This is really, really important in light of the events of Kizuna, the 02 group’s unusual role in it and its relevance to 02′s themes (more on this below), and how Spring 2003 referred to the pressure placed on Osamu as him being “forced to grow up too quickly” – in essence, Ken and Wormmon have firmly resolved to actively move away from that kind of pressure.

Miyako and Hawkmon

I’ve pointed out several times on this blog that the actual complex Miyako was going through in 02 was that she hated herself more than anyone else in the group would be willing to criticize her – and if you don’t believe me, it’s put in a pretty heavy-handed manner in her original song, Crash and Bingo!:

Fussing about it won’t get anything done But my selfishness and problems and panic keep coming out

…and even more viciously in her own and Hawkmon’s duet, Fly High:

I can’t do anything right, besides playing around with computers

or

Everyone would be still be fine if I weren’t there

If you thought it was subtle in the main series, it certainly isn’t here: Miyako considered herself good for absolutely nothing and unable to be accepted by others for being too useless – in these songs, despite Hawkmon’s attempts to uplift her, she criticizes her own messy tendencies and considers herself a burden. Best Partner is a positive series, so it still has the attitude of “we’ll try anyway”, but it’s clear that Miyako really didn’t have the highest opinion of herself at all. Hence, Fly High also shows off the worst of Hawkmon having to deal with the fallout – with Miyako flailing around in panic and considering herself good for nothing, he’s forced to carry her around.

But come Miyako’s new solo, From Spain with Love!, we see a huge contrast all over the place:

I, who have evolved into an adult make everyone do a double-take at me when I walk by!

Exhibit A: actual confidence in herself and ability to consider herself worth something;

If I can always, always be honest with myself Even if I don’t put together some program, even if I keep screwing up Ah, you understand me

Exhibit B: understanding that she’s worth something to others besides her utility abilities, and knowing that she has friends who’ll support her despite her flaws (which is very true);

When things are feeling hard, the first thing you should do is call me, okay? I’ll take the wings of love and purity, spread them, and get there as fast as I can Ah, I’ll open up any gate I need to

Exhibit C: indulging in her capacity for helping and supporting others;

Al mal tiempo, buena cara We laugh exactly when things are hard

Exhibit D: understanding the strength to get through hard times, instead of emotionally crumbling under the pressure.

Yep, that’s exactly what her character arc in 02 was about; 02 episode 31 was a huge turning point for her because, in the depths of her berating herself for her messiness and expecting Hikari to be secretly judging her the whole time, Hikari revealed that she was outright jealous of Miyako being able to speak her mind, and Miyako shortly after ended up showing her true capacity for reaching others who needed her help and supporting them, a role she ended up growing into for the rest of the series. Note that, other than the casual remark of confidence at the beginning, Miyako hasn’t necessarily become arrogant or anything – it’s just that, by focusing her energies into how much she loves everyone and turning her “nosiness” and “sticking herself into others’ business” tendencies into positive energy to help everyone, she gained more confidence in her ability to be loved and accepted by others.

This is reflected as well in her new duet with Hawkmon, where, instead of Hawkmon dragging her around everywhere, their differences and mismatched personalities are outright celebrated, and while Miyako still has awareness of her messy tendencies, she’s no longer letting it emotionally rip her apart and has confidence that Hawkmon can be by her side to help her through it. Perhaps reflecting that, Hawkmon himself goes from the over-the-top, dramatic, high-strung Knight of Love to the more calm and straightforward Gentle Tornado, perhaps because his own partner isn’t constantly bouncing off the walls recklessly nearly as much anymore.

Incidentally, it’s not like all of this is without nuance, either; even if Miyako’s become more of a confident person, she’s not all put-together. Considering that the entire song has her gushing about how she’d be willing to drop anything to go see her friends (which was pushed forward in Kizuna itself, what with her willingly taking the same request she’d refused to do earlier just because her friends were involved, and even inventing D-3 gate exploitation just to go see them), when you get to the end, and her gushing about her fun in Spain suddenly derails into reminiscing about the events of 02 episode 42, the implication is clear: for as much as she wants to be wholeheartedly enjoying this fun trip abroad for what it is, she can’t help but let her thoughts float back to memories and friends she cares about, and her bonus conversation with Hawkmon drives it in further that, ultimately, she dearly misses them too much.

Iori and Armadimon

Iori also went through some drastic changes in character over the course of 02, so when you look at My Conclusion, it’s basically Iori at his “worst” point of black-and-white morality:

Everyone, I will be speaking my conclusion Evil will not be tolerated Even evil in itself will be defeated by justice That will always be a certainty in the end

I mean, let’s even consider the fact that the song is called “My Conclusion” in the first place. Iori’s slamming this all down like this is the end-all of everything, and you can’t change his mind! He does briefly admit that there are certain things reason itself won’t change, but it’s more like he’s on the verge of having an out, because in the end, really…

Everyone, I will be speaking my conclusion Our enemies are beyond reason Again and again, to the very end They will certainly use cowardly means to come and attack us

Rationality. No feelings involved. Evil is evil, and justice is justice. No takebacks. Life exists by rules, and nothing else.

Message to the Future is possibly one of the most interesting songs in the original Best Partner collection, because it does actually provide hints about where Iori should be going in the future, and also has a lot of things that retroactively hit a lot harder from the meta perspective. The song fully fleshes out Iori’s feelings and concerns about how to grow up into a proper adult (which was hinted to be his real motivation as to why he was so strict with himself in 02), and that, most of all, what he wants is for his “feelings” to never change no matter what happens. Iori expresses concerns about how he might change as an adult to Armadimon, and Armadimon assures him that he’ll still be “Iori”, no matter what.

So, come the new character song collection, Iori’s new solo song is aptly titled “Things That Won’t Change” – because, in the end, despite everything that changed, his feelings did not. He says it himself: the important parts that he really wanted, the desire to do the right thing and to protect others, never changed a bit at all since “back then”. What did change, however, was his way of going about it.

Rather than what someone else has decided I’ve chosen my own future now

and again:

Rather than imitating someone else This is to shout out my own future

The emphasis on this being Iori’s own choice is important because Iori has finally decided not to live by strict rules imposed on him nor by imitating others (remember, part of the reason he kept doing what he did back in 02 was because he had such a strong belief “my father would have done this”). Others had been encouraging him to “make his own decisions” from the get-go – even Hida Chikara himself had told him that he was the one who needed to decide what to do in any moment in 02 episode 5 – and after dealing with a violation of his own morals in having to kill a Digimon in 02 episode 44, one episode later, in discussing with Takeru, Iori has to come to terms with the decision to continue fighting because “this is what I have decided myself”, because it’s not about whether he has an obligation to keep fighting for the sake of justice, but because he, himself, wants to protect others, and will do what it takes to do so. There’s no more of these strict rules of “because it must be this way” or the black-and-white morality that caused him to be so initially hostile towards Ken and Oikawa, but an understanding that these things need to be decided from the heart.

Moreover, unlike My Conclusion, Things That Won’t Change isn’t written like Iori’s turning in some school essay, but rather, more than half the song is in casual-form Japanese (which was associated with Iori when he became more emotional and wasn’t keeping himself in check anymore), and is more of a thoughtful reflection of his own feelings rather than trying to pass itself off as following rules because he must.

Thus, while the duet Choo Choo Tryin’ isn’t as heavy-handed as Message to the Future, Iori and Armadimon acknowledge that they need to be forward-thinking and keep going (generally tied to the message of 02 in itself), and Iori outright discusses the potential pitfalls of becoming too stiff. Furthermore, the song has copious rap portions, which seems rather unfitting for Iori on its face – until you realize that not only was Iori sometimes willing to indulge in more fun even back during 02 (just because he was strict with himself didn’t mean he was a complete killjoy), Iori’s also just a lot more flexible-minded in general, and has a penchant for wanting to do things right when he’s given a task. (His delivery of the rap in the song isn’t monotonous nor overly emotional, but has the nuance of someone who’s trying to recite all of it with caution.)

The part that’s particularly striking from the meta perspective is that Iori and Armadimon are no longer voiced by the same voice actress; Message to the Future was essentially Urawa Megumi talking to herself. So now, Iori has a new voice actor, and in many ways has become very different from Armadimon – but because Armadimon sounds a little like Iori, you could say he’s helping preserve the childish side of Iori that’s more important than ever to hold onto, especially since Iori himself worried about changing too much. And so, Iori’s still willing to indulge in a sort of “fun” song like this, and in the end, despite everything, you understand that they haven’t drifted apart at all in the slightest.

That’s not to say that Armadimon himself hasn’t changed either – in fact, he’s changed himself in response to how much Iori has. His original solo song had a lot of easygoingness to it, and some constant reminders for Iori to please, please chill – but his new one has a much stronger sense of resolve and forward-thinking attitude, reflecting that, while Iori himself technically had to learn to embrace more emotional uncertainty through the events of 02, it was also able to give him much stronger resolve that this was something he was doing because he was emotionally prepared for it, not out of some sense of moral obligation.

Takeru and Patamon

I’ve already covered Takeru’s original Best Partner song Focus and how it’s probably not about shipping as much as the fanbase tends to pin it as, but in any case, the operative part is here:

Before I knew it, I was watching over you Still standing at a skewed angle from behind The focus of your heart I wonder, is it on me, or… No, I can’t ask

Takeru couldn’t bring himself to ask sensitive questions or be straightforward about his emotions – which is basically what was Takeru’s lingering problem over Adventure and 02, that he kept swerving around or even lying about sensitive topics and holding everything inside, until one of his triggers was hit and everything exploded. Therefore, even when an important question about someone else comes up, he “can’t ask”. Moreover, for all Takeru is known as a lighthearted and kind person, Focus is a really turbulent song with a really harsh arrangement, and it’s a pretty accurate view of all the complicated and sometimes even negative emotions that Takeru was (badly) coping with over the course of 02.

This was the whole issue with Takeru and Iori’s Jogress arc in 02 episodes 34-36 – that Iori felt he couldn’t understand nor communicate well with Takeru, and had to eventually take matters into his own hands in order to properly understand his feelings. Takeru’s further interactions with Iori were significantly more straightforward for the rest of the series, and the experience also led to Takeru being able to more openly communicate with Ken as well, since the two had been on awkward speaking terms for most of the third quarter of the series.

So when we get to Step High Step…

You lament, you don’t have confidence in yourself I’m saying this to you as I’ve been watching you You’re amazing at all times

The song features Takeru being fairly straightforward about his feelings and opinions instead of just dodging it and going for an “everything’s okay” keeping-the-peace attitude, and not only that, he’s commenting on someone else, something that he probably would have refrained from in 02 for being intrusive. Of course, Takeru was always a nice person, but he wasn’t exactly straightforward about being nice back then – and yet here we are.

Since Focus is probably about his relationship with Patamon and how he kind of wasn’t exactly straightforward about his worries with him either (see 02 episode 34), it’s also interesting to compare Takeru and Patamon’s duet songs as well. Steppin’ out does portray a progression from Adventure in that they’ve accepted they can “do things over” again after things crash down (presumably referring to Angemon’s death and rebirth), but you’ll notice there isn’t much in the way of actual communciation between the two – something that’s not only present in Le Lien, but also portrays them as outright in-sync to the point of “telepathy”. We’re talking about a pair where the fanbase has historically had doubts about how similar they were back in 02 because of how “mismatched” they seemed!

Which, incidentally, they weren’t actually – you can see Patamon pretending he’s not about to cry in his original Best Partner song Don’t Stop Pata-Pata, much like how Takeru would cover up his own emotions, and gritting his teeth and resolving to fight harder. Meanwhile, while Ring of Smiles ostensibly continues to have Patamon be “sweet and cute”, it contains a lot of important nuances of “appreciating daily life with friends”, even if Patamon himself can’t quite find words for it – in other words, it’s actually some rather insightful and thoughtful sentiments from Patamon about the importance of being with and connecting with others, mirroring what Takeru himself learned in connecting with the others around him, especially Iori.

Hikari and Tailmon

Remember, Hikari has two lines (one in Adventure and one in 02) that basically summarize the main “issue” she was dealing with in both series: she was selfless to unhealthy levels, and would prioritize others’ welfare over herself to the point of self-destruction. So in her original solo Best Partner song, Gentle Rain, she puts it pretty explicitly:

I want to always be wearing nothing but smiles But I can’t be cheerful all of the time

or:

So that I can become a greater version of myself Please give me strength

All things considered, Gentle Rain is full of Hikari’s own insecurities, and her belief that she doesn’t have enough strength to do anything for herself. She makes references to being pulled to the Dark Ocean, mainly because – as she says – she doesn’t want to go there, but she doesn’t have enough strength or willpower to resist it. In fact, Best Partner 11 is full of a lot of angst; Gentle Rain is Hikari angsting about her own weakness and inability to do much for herself, Getting up is Tailmon angsting about her painful past and everything to do with it, and Shining Star is basically a plea for both of them to be able to do anything despite all the pain. It’s all pretty severely heavy content, despite the initial sparkly-looking sentiment of it all.

Considering the circumstances, it’s not really all that surprising. Hikari spent her time in Adventure and the first half of 02 very “emotionally isolated” from the others, to the point very few people could understand what she was thinking, and while she’d never hesitate to put herself out for other people, anything to do with herself, like getting pulled to the Dark Ocean, would result in resignation “it’s over” and “I can’t do anything about it”. Tailmon came from the background of being effectively raised by the abusive Vamdemon, so 02 was really only part of the earliest portion of her moving on with her life and being able to spend happier moments with Hikari. But, of course, the real turning point was 02 episode 31, when Miyako finally managed to break through to her and convince her to not accept the inevitability of things happening to herself, to accept help with the support of others, and to not take things happening to her as a sign she’s doomed.

So when we reach Hikari’s new solo song, Tomorrow’s Blue…

I want to chase after my dreams and hopes, it’s fine even if they’re incomplete I won’t lose, I won’t stop, I’ll do this to stay true to myself

The most striking thing about the song is that it features Hikari assertively talking about her own desires and feelings, when back in 02 she basically tried to kick them out of the picture for the sake of everyone else (and, really, even in Tailmon’s new solo song, Tender tale, she outright calls Hikari out for still prioritizing other people over herself). It’s not demeaning herself, it’s not resigning herself to anything, it may have a slight admission that she’s not super-confident about everything yet, but it’s still her looking forward and choosing to pursue what he wants. It’s a big deal!

And instead of the constant angst that permeated Best Partner 11, the new album is about Hikari and Tailmon talking about their feelings towards each other – something that neither of them really verbalized that well over either Adventure and 02 – and contextualizing their importance to each other over the course of their “story”. Hikari talks about Tailmon’s role of assertiveness in helping her break out of her shell, and Tailmon generally provides an extremely accurate description of Hikari in a nutshell – that she’s a bit mysterious, that she’s emotionally sensitive, that she’s cheerful and lifts others’ spirits. What’s more, Tailmon makes a reference to the same kind of “pain” and “losing things” she referred to in Getting up, but instead of angsting about it, she positively accepts it as something that may happen in the process of protecting others. (Oh, and it and the new duet A Tale of the Light also make reference to Hikari’s photography hobby in 02, contextualizing it as something Hikari did to chronicle their precious memories.)

So in summary, Hikari and Tailmon have both been able to accept 02′s philosophy of becoming forward-thinking, positive, and accepting the help of others in order to move forward. Not bad!

Conclusion and digression

Despite how these songs are almost polar opposite in portraying their before-and-after development of the 02 kids, nobody’s really argued that any of them are out of character! In the end, it’s a pretty succinct depiction of what these kids were dealing with and what they grew into by the end of the series. Seriously, I never, ever want to hear that these kids were underdeveloped nor that they didn’t go through any significant development over the course of 02 ever again. That’s just not true at all, and this simply happens to be one of the many illustrations of how.

Moreover, the songs themselves and the “conversations” that came with the new albums solidify firmly that the 02 group has extremely tight relations with their partners even at this time – with Daisuke actively consulting V-mon for help, Miyako, Takeru, and Hikari actively dragging their partners everywhere with them, Ken having Wormmon be his effective alarm clock, and Iori being so close with Armadimon that his Nagoya dialect is rubbing off on him. Daisuke, Miyako and Hikari have a huge point made that, regardless of the rather easygoing way they’re going at it, they’re very aware of what they want to do from this point out and are following it with gusto (and while it’s not stated in words, Iori carrying a huge textbook, presumably a law one, with note markers all over it drives the point home that this applies to him, too). It’s a really, really huge contrast to what was going on with the directionless Taichi, Yamato, and Sora effectively neglecting their own partners back in Kizuna – and further reinforces the reason the 02 group was in such an unusually favorable position during the movie.

[espressokiri]

I Love You Either Way

Izuku Midoriya x GN! Reader

For @brandmeyelena : reader loves midoriya very much and confessed, midoriya was flustered and decided to accept it (reader was ecstatic), however he has no feelings for reader at all. He doesn’t know how to break up with reader so he just lets it be.

Warnings: Angst, One sided love, Heartbreak, Death.

Genre: Angst.

(Y/n) was sorted out to be an outcast in middle school because of their interest in the quirkless boy in class. Ridicule did nothing to prevent them from getting to know the boy, intrigued in his interest in heroes and longing to be enrolled in U.A.

They were quick to defend the freckled boy when Bakugou targeted him on certain days, gazing in affection when he would go on a muttering tangent, unaware of his thoughts being said out loud. (Y/n) fell in love with the way Midoriya would not be afraid to show his vulnerability and emotions, to show them his passions and drawings of analysis. Midoriya on the other hand was in awe of gaining such a friend. 

F r i e n d.

Oh how he wished he knew the inner feelings of the one he called friend. It was not until they confessed that left him in a stuttering, red-faced daze that he realized there was hidden meaning behind (Y/n)’s gestures. Being the most observant boy meant nothing when he was dense about feelings. 

The hand brushes while walking to and from school, the small gifts he would find in his backpack from them, the lingering hugs that seem to be longer than usual.

“Izuku, I’ve admired you for a long time. Please accept my feelings!” (Y/n) was not shy while confessing, they stared Midoriya in the eyes with such passion that the male could not refuse in the state of shock he was put in. 

It did not seem to be a bad idea at the time, a relationship was forged on the foundation of friendship and they were friends already with similar interests. Midoriya brushed it off and thought he harboured the same feelings, not aware of why and how a relationship actually begins. 

(Y/n) on the other hand couldn't be happier, they seemed to glow around Midoriya and felt that they were on cloud nine on the daily. Bakugou glowered at them in class, huffing at how disgusting their relationship was.

Midoriya had dedicated a book to (Y/n) filled with sketches of them, some pages for the purpose of analyzing their quirk, other pages filled with mundane sketches of them on their adventurous dates. (Y/n) found a second home with Inko Midoriya who adored them, happy that her son was finally himself without the fear of him being bullied. 

It was when they first shared a kiss that Midoriya had come to terms with his feelings. He did not carry the same emotions for (Y/n) as they did. He felt like he would disappoint them so he kept himself quiet, wondering if they would lose feelings for him if he carried on as friends instead.

The time for U.A. came around, (Y/n) was not aware of Midoriya training with All Might. They only knew he was physically training with a ‘personal’ trainer of his. During the training period, they would make sure to cater to Midoriya’s needs, keep him hydrated and help him with homework and studies as he would fall asleep in class muttering to himself most of the time. 

Betrayal was evident during the quirk evaluation test when Midoriya seemed to showcase his quirk. He looked nervous facing both Bakugou, who was voicing his anger, and (Y/n) who had a look of disappointment hidden in their eyes. They avoided Midoriya that day, watching from afar as he happily conversed with Iida and Uraraka. 

It wasn’t until Bakugou grabbed (Y/n) by the front of their uniform and yelled at them with one hand exploding with his quirk for an explanation that Midoriya came in-between and pulled (Y/n) away. They didn’t seem to want to put up a fight with either male and allowed themselves to be dragged around. 

Midoriya ‘explained’ that he was an apparent late bloomer and thats why he was training for months, to control his quirk. (Y/n) was apprehensive but accepted his apology after he stated he didn’t tell them because he wanted to surprise them.

-

“I love you.” 

The USJ attack had (Y/n) tremble with uncertainty of their future, they said those three words to Midoriya when he woke up from being taken care of by Recovery Girl.

Midoriya just nodded his head and looked away.

(Y/n) thought nothing of it until Ochako ran to him once they reentered the class, he seemed to brighten up at the sight of her and (Y/n)’s face soured.

This event kept replaying in their mind as the days progressed. The texts became dry, the reply time took hours, calls weren’t picked up as quick as they were before. (Y/n) could feel the distance between them but they didn’t want to give up, no, they held too much emotion for the boy. 

Bakugou took note of all the differences between the two from the sidelines, despite his dislike for the pair, he felt pity for (Y/n). Scoffing at them as (Y/n) still tried to hold their relationship together by a thread. He felt anger towards Midoriya for not manning up and revealing his true feelings, instead dragging (Y/n) along with him. 

“Hey dumbass.” Bakugou huffed and (Y/n) looked up at him from their position beside Midoriya. Uraraka, Iida, and Midoriya looked at Bakugou with wide eyes wondering why he sauntered his way to their lunch table. 

“Hm?”

Bakugou yanks (Y/n) from the table and drags them out of the cafeteria, ignoring the protests from Midoriya and (Y/n). 

“What the hell Bakugou!” 

“Shut up dumbass! I’m sick of you pining after the nerd when we all know he does not feel the same.” Bakugou crossed his arms across his chest and glowered at them.

(Y/n) was void of emotion, they knew he was right but they didn’t care. They would be together, they’ve been through so much together. They love him, they’ll make him love them.

“We love each other.” (Y/n) said before turning to walk back to the cafeteria. “You’re going to get yourself killed!” Bakugou yelled after them, “If I do then at least I’ll know I’ve loved!” (Y/n) yelled back.

Their grip on his hands became stronger, the kiss on cheek before a task was a must, they’d try to converse with him about their future, joking about how they’d be the coolest pro-hero couple.

(Y/n) was losing themselves as they saw Midoriya remove himself from their approach. (Y/n) knew it was only a matter of time before he would end up saving Uraraka before them. They held no bitterness towards the girl, they’re aware that she’s just as innocent as she looks. If Midoriya wanted them to back off then he would have said something by now, he hasn’t said anything so he must still have feelings for them, right?

Perhaps they did hold the same passion as the girl they came across during the attack in the training camp. Toga was it? Either way, Toga had realized (Y/n)’s feelings for Midoriya as she chattered on about a green haired boy she came across. Maybe they should have accepted the offer to join her in gaining his feelings back for her by following her into the warp gate, maybe he would have come after them. 

(Y/n) was aware that they were losing interest in becoming a hero after all the attacks from the league, they didn’t seem that bad. They were beings who were outcasted and betrayed themselves. (Y/n) did not know what was right or wrong anymore. Everyone in class had noticed their change in behaviour, the dead look in their eyes as they lost all the light in them that once glowed bright. 

Midoriya, they’d do it for Midoriya.

-

Blood.

There was so much blood. (Y/n) took the hit for him. The burning sensation where they got impaled from Chisaki’s quirk was beginning to numb. How stupid of them to act all heroic for a boy who didn’t even mutter those three words that (Y/n) seemed to tell him everyday. 

They were only fifteen. Fifteen and feeling the bittersweet embrace of death. Midoriya was hovering above them, tears spilling over and dripping onto (Y/n). He was finally giving them the attention they craved for the past year at U.A.

Midoriya pressed his hands against the wound, (Y/n) whimpering in pain at the pressure. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry (Y/n). We can fix this, keep your eyes open okay? I’ll go defeat Chisaki and it’ll all be okay.”

(Y/n) shakily grabbed his face with their bloody one, “tell me you love me and I’ll forgive you.” Tears gathered at their eyes as they begged in their mind for him to put them at ease.

Midoriya was frantic, he didn’t want to lie. He was aware of the rift between them, he should have been straightforward with his feelings from day one. Perhaps if he did, they wouldn’t be in this predicament right now. 

“Even if you don’t feel the same, please. Just this once.” Their voice cracked and sobs racked their body. Their hand slid from his face to grip onto his hero suit.

“I love you! I love you, please hold on for me!” Midoriya gripped them tightly in his embrace, his own sobs breaking through. “I should have been more honest with you, I’m sorry!”

“It was my fault for not giving up on you, I knew how you felt but I couldn’t let you go.” (Y/n) smiled a broken smile, relishing in his embrace during their final moments.

“Tell Bakugou he was right, I did get myself killed huh?” (Y/n) dryly laughed.

Midoriya felt a wave of cold through his veins. Bakugou knew? Did he really say that to them?

His anxiety grew worse as (Y/n) began to feel like dead weight, their eyes glazing over and breathing shallow. “(Y/n)? (Y/n)!” He screamed as he gripped them tightly. 

(Y/n) was there with him through his lowest time, watching him grow into a hero in training when he had lost all hope. They were there when he felt frustrated with himself during training and offered him a shoulder when he felt like he had nowhere to go. He didn’t feel like a hero as he held them in his arms. A hero would have been upfront about everything, he failed them. He failed (Y/n). Now he’s going to have to live with knowing he was the reason they spilt blood.

[a-monsters-love]

Hi! Can please request some spicy headcanons for Tamaki, Hawks and Shoto losing their virginity with a fem reader ? Thank you!

Oh man yES, ahh I love these boys, I will do my best for the ✨spice✨

[Master List]

Amajiki Tamaki (Sun Eater):

boi that anxiety

Realistically it would take a long term relationship to get to second or even third base

He understands sexual desire but god if it only makes him feel more anxious

You need to become his wall

Literally

Instead of him putting his head into a wall he will start putting his head against your head or shoulder or back (idk how tall you are)

He LOVES your body

Claims you’re soft in all the right places

Loves the way you feel pressed into his embrace not that he could ever admit that

With that in mind

It would start with just embracing him

You’d offer your lap and play with his hair

He feels safe in your embrace

So

The two of you are cuddling

You’re both facing each other

You’ve pulled him into your bust like it’s a pillow and start playing with his hair with your arms wrapped around each other

And then it happens

Your breath hits his ear

You move slightly to adjust

It happens

You feel his grip tighten around you, forcing you to stop moving

“Maki? Are you okay?”

He’s hidden his face and you can feel the heat radiating from his blush

“I, uh, well… I d-don’t know…”

You’re obviously confused

Then you feel it

“We can stop if-“

He cut you off with a sudden burst in confidence and has you on your back while hovering over you

“I-I don’t want to…” His eyes slowly glance over you

Your shirt is loosely pulled down your shoulder exposing your collar bone and the top of your breasts and racked up your stomach slightly exposing your skin

His face was beat red

Yours was heated

You reach up for his face and pull him in for a kiss

When you start touching him something snaps

He’s almost feral with need for you

He has no idea what he’s doing

You have to tell him what to do

If it’s your first time too you MUST tell him when you like things

Greedy for how you taste

He’s needy

Praise kink

JeSUS THE PRAISE KINK

You must tell him that he feels good or what he’s doing is great etc

Will eat you out like you’re his last meal before death

*Ahem.*

Will 100% ask you what you need during/after

He will not know how to look at you afterwards but will cuddle tf out of you

Takami Keigo (Hawks):

So, on a real note

He probably didn’t lose his V card until after he got his own agency

He was raised and monitored by the HPSC since he was 6, I highly doubt they gave him the time

As much as we all agree he has a rut I doubt having one would make a difference in him popping his cherry

He got his agency at 18 and rose the ranks to being a top ten hero by age 20

So I high key doubt he had time to relax and take care of his sexual needs until about 20

The boi also doesn’t actually have friends

He wasn’t raised to make friends, only connections

Realistically you were probably a sidekick at his agency

You found him attractive sure but knew he never gave himself ‘personal time’

You made it your mission to give him the break you knew he deserved

You’d finish all his paperwork that didn’t need his signature

You’d manage to help make sure all the documents he’d have to submit daily would be quick and easy to go through

You’d kick him out of the office to make sure he went and got lunch

You bring/order him lunch when he refused

You kick him out to go home early when he could afford to

At first he didn’t notice

After a week he was confused

After a month he’d start to understand

He’d take time to thank you and make sure you were doing well with all the extra work you decided to take on

The first time he complimented you and your work you blushed a shade he didn’t even know you could get

It was over for you

He made it his goal to see that again

It started with flirty comments

Then he took you on a date

He researched everything he could on dating and what is ‘required’

He was aware of sexual intimacies

He had a sex-Ed class with the HPSC

What he wasn’t prepared for was having to use that education on someone he cared for (not that he’s ever used it before)

He watched you work at the office one day after doing his research like a predator would watch a prey it’s been stalking

Without realizing it he started fantasizing about how your thighs would feel in his hands

How your bust would taste

He wondered what you’d look like under him

He was curious to know what you’d sound like crying out his name

“-wks? Hawks?” Your voice calling him snapped him out of his perverted fantasy

His face blushed brightly as you stared at him with an eyebrow raised

“Can you come look at this for me?” You pointed to your computer

He nods and goes to stand up but quickly sits back down with his legs crossed “N-No I can’t, can you send it to me?” He give a nervous TV approved smile

Did he just stutter?

You give him a once over and he refused to make eye contact with you

You smirk when you see his ‘problem’

“I guess I can just take it home tonight” you shrugged nonchalantly and give him the side eye, “You’re welcome to come help if you’d like.” You crossed your arms under your bust making it more eye catching

He just nodded furiously

Never had he ever finished paperwork so fast

He nearly crashed into your patio’s sliding glass door like a concussed bird as he arrived

When you let him in he smothered your face with kisses as he kicks off his shoes and sheds his jacket and goggles

They were messy and needy

His usually accurate hands fumbled with the fabric of your clothing

You walk backwards and usher him to your room

You only pull away from the sloppy make out session when you fall back on your bed and pant for air

What he’s actually doing doesn’t hit him until he sees you under him

Clothes disheveled, skin and bra exposed, blushing and panting from his attention

A nervous blush set in on his face

You cupped his cheek, “Is this your-“

He nods before you can finish the question

What a cute baby

You didn’t press him any further but helped him with the clothing removal

You told him you can stop at anytime

He refused every time

The whines this boi makes when you first touch him

He’s a quick learner

You make suggestions and he quickly finds out how to please you

Before you’re even close to finishing you’re nearly certain that he wasn’t a virgin

Nearly

He seems to get harder when you praise him

He has the stamina of a god

He makes sure to memorize everything about your body

Memorizes what makes you cry and melt in his grasp

Stays inside you when you both finish

Buried his face into your bare breasts afterwards

Makes happy noises as he dozed off to you combing your fingers through his hair

Happy birb

Todoroki Shoto:

oh man

This fuckin’ guy

Realistically never cared for the topic

Not that he doesn’t feel the urge but just thinks nothing of it

He probably never realized he even liked you until someone pointed it out

Similar to Hawks he never really got the opportunity to think of such matters

Also same as Hawks would research the shit out of the topic

Boi didn’t know the word for ‘concert’ you really think he’d know shit about dating at first?

*ahem*

He’d take you on dates

He’d realize quickly how much he likes touching you

Touch starved babe

He’d go out of his way to touch you after he noticed how much he likes it

He’d initiate holding hands

He’d hug you randomly

Lay his head on yours or your shoulder or lap

One day he’d hug you from behind as you were doing something in your room

He’d wrap his arms around you under your bust

You’d smile and look up at him

You’d adjust yourself to holding his arms but you’d rub against him just right

Then it happens

The shock of the situation would cause him to freeze

You can feel his temperature control go haywire

“Sho?” You’d ask quietly

Then you’d feel it

To be fair it would be low key stabbing you

N E WAYS

You’d blush loudly

He’d blush and bury his face into the crook of your neck

You’d make a soft noise in surprise

He’d only get harder and more embarrassed because of said noise

You’d ask if he wants to do anything about it

“What?” He asks

I swear this boy doesn’t understand real life you can’t change my mind

You’d whisper what you meant

His grip on you would get tighter

He’d agree

He had a basic understand of how it works

You’d sit him on your bed and you’d sit on his lap

The two of you would make out and remove articles of clothing

The best at unhooking a bra clasp out of the three

Calm externally

Internally freaking out

You can tell by the crazy fluctuation in his temperature

“We don’t have to if you’re not ready” you’d say pressing your forehead to his

He smiles softly and kisses your collarbone

“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready but I want this”

You blush loudly at the comment

He moves you so that he’s hovering over you

You pull him into you and run your hands down his muscular frame

He’s surprised at how easily he melts in your touch

Like Hawks he’s a quick learner

Makes a point to ask if you like how things feel

Could get off on just making you feel good

Uses his quirk unintentionally to make you feel good

Leaves marks all over you without meaning to

Low key wants to mark his territory subconsciously

Kisses all the marks he’s left in the end

Does everything for aftercare without being asked

Pulls you into his chest and smiles into your hair

Snuggle bug

[starshine583]

New Girl on the Block (8)

(Thank you all so much for your love and support during this fic! I hope that you all enjoy this next chapter and be sure to check out the mini series connected to this called Journal Entries!)

Ch.1 / Ch.7 / Ch.9

Chapter 8: Lost and Found

Lost. 

Felix was utterly and hopelessly lost.

He stalked the aquarium aisles, looking this way and that for the rest of the group. How did this even happen? Allegra had had an iron grip on his wrist. He was certain of that. Yet somehow, he runs into one person- one person! -and just like that, everyone’s gone! 

Felix tisked, annoyance quickly rising in his mind as he turned down another aisle. Briefly separating wouldn’t have been that bad. In fact, he welcomed the moment of silence at first. Aside from the occasional person who bumped into him, no one was yanking on his wrist or dragging him along. The problem arose, however, in the realization that he’d been aimlessly searching for them for thirty minutes now. After losing sight of them for a second! Did they truly walk that fast or did they leave him on purpose? It wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened. 

His hands clenched into fists, and a scowl tugged at the corner of his lips. He was this close to climbing on top of heads- 

A light giggle caught his attention, faint but there, coming from the southern side of the room.

Felix whirled around, his eyes darting through the crowd. He recognized that laugh, but where was she?

His gaze landed on a pair of pigtails a moment later, and he nearly sighed with relief. Even with the dimmed lights of the aquarium, he could make out Marinette’s small figure standing in front of a smaller aquarium not far from him. He didn’t see anyone else with her, though. Where were the others? Did she get lost too or were the other people blocking them?

Felix moved forward to approach her. With the trio or not, he’d finally found someone from the group. That was his main concern. Besides, she didn’t seem worried about being alone, unless cooing at the glass and laughing was a sign of nervousness. (which, for her, it wasn’t.)

“You look like you’re enjoying yourself.” He commented as he stopped next to her.

Marinette jumped, as usual, and let out a squeak of surprise.

“Oh, Felix!” She gasped. “We were looking for you earlier.”

Felix hummed, glancing down at the octopus that was crawling along the rocks in front of them. “Yes, it would seem that ‘keeping up with the group’ wasn’t as easy as Allegra had claimed.”

A nervous chuckle tumbled from her lips, and she tucked a strand of hair behind her as she said, “Yeah.. we thought about texting you, but Claude said that you would catch up eventually.”

Felix scoffed. He should have known that Claude would be the one to prolong his suffering. Looking around for the brunette once more, he noticed that they were indeed alone. (Save for the large crowd swarming around them, that is.)

“How did you get separated?” He asked, merely curious. The group’s left him several times, but he doubted they would abandon Marinette so easily. Something else must have happened. 

“Well, I was originally trying to look for you,” she explained, “but then I ended up getting distracted..”

She snorted. “I swear I stopped to look at one turtle, and by the time I turned around, everyone was gone.”

Felix offered a nod. He knew all too well how that went.

“At least we found each other.” He pointed out. 

Marinette smiled up at him. “Yeah! And I found this adorable octopus!”

The way she said ‘adorable’ was similar to the babying tone of someone who was speaking to a dog, and she turned to the tank to wiggle her finger at the creature. Felix thought it to be somewhat.. endearing. 

“.. Did you know that an octopus has three hearts?” He asked, strangely wanting to encourage her enthusiasm. Normally, when Claude would start rambling or bouncing around about different subjects, it would annoy Felix. With Marinette, though, that.. simply didn’t happen. Perhaps it was because she was quieter about it?

Marinette gasped, her sparkling eyes shifting back to him. “Wait, are you serious?”

Felix nodded. “They also contain blue blood.”

Her jaw dropped open. “No way! How do you know that?”

“I’ve read a few encyclopedias.” He admitted with a half-shrug. “They’re a lot more interesting than people give them credit for.”

“That’s so cool!” Marinette nearly squealed. “Tell me another one.”

Felix stared at her for a moment. That might be the first time someone’s ever willingly asked for him to recite facts without a sarcastic tone. He didn’t think he would be this pleased about it.

“Well..” He began, mentally sifting through the pages of books that he’s read. “Their limbs are actually called ‘arms’, not ‘tentacles’. The term ‘tentacles’ is reserved for squid, cuttlefish, and nautilus.”

“What?” Marinette blanched. “No! My whole life is a lie!”

Felix smirked at her dramatic groan. It had been surprising for himself when he first read it too. 

“Tell me another one.” She said after rubbing her hands over her face.

Felix let out a small laugh. “Are you sure? You didn’t seem to like that last one.”

Marinette waved off the comment. “Yeah, yeah. I can take it. Tell me another one.”

“Alright, another fact..” Felix muttered, his gaze flicking upwards in thought. “Ah.  Each arm has a mind of its own. Some two-thirds of the octopus’ neurons reside in its arms, which allow the arms to react to stimuli and function at a fairly high level on their own. This fact applies even when one of the limbs is severed from the body.”

Marinette scrunched up her nose at the image of a severed, octopus limb still twisting about. 

“How do you remember all of this stuff?”

Felix clicked his tongue. “I think the information is interesting, and I enjoy being knowledgeable. So I make it a point to remember everything that I can while reading.”

Marinette nodded thoughtfully. “That makes sense.. Do you know facts about other animals here?”

Felix tilted his head back and forth, trying to recall the animals he’d passed while searching for the group. “Most likely. As I said before, I’ve read a handful of encyclopedias, along with a book or two on Marine Biology.”

She lit up with a grin at the reply and reached down to grab his wrist. “Great! That means you can come tell me more facts!”

Felix was pulled forward, and a part of him held his breath, waiting for the indignation and disgust to set in from being grabbed. It always happened. Allegra, Claude, and occasionally Allan would jerk him around, and resentment would kick in without fail. Of course, the irritation towards Marinette certainly wouldn’t last, since she’d simply gotten excited, but it would undoubtedly come. So he waited..

..And waited..

..And nothing came.

Felix looked down at her hand, which was still firmly on his wrist, and frowned. She was dragging him through the crowd, yet he felt.. nothing. It wasn’t necessarily good, but it wasn’t bad either. He was just.. normal. 

How odd.

“Which animal should we go to next?” Marinette inquired, eagerly looking around. “I’ve already seen the jellyfish, the octopus, and some of the bigger tanks with the multiple types of fish.. Maybe we can see the big tank again so you can tell the na-”

He didn’t look up at her until her ramble abruptly cut off. She was staring down at his wrist too, her eyes wide with surprise. She must not have thought about what she was doing when she grabbed him.

“O-Oh!” As soon as she registered what she’d done, Marinette ripped her hand away from him. “I-I’m so sorry! I- uhm -I was just so excited, a-and.. I’ll try not to grab you again.”

“No, it’s..” Felix rubbed the part of his wrist that Marinette had grabbed, almost not believing the next words he was about to say. “It’s fine. We should probably be holding onto each other anyway, unless we want to get separated again.”

“Oh..” Marinette said, sounding a bit dazed. “Oh yeah.. Um.. How do you want me to..”

She held her hand out towards him again, and Felix hesitated. If they were to hold onto each other, holding hands would be the obvious option, but that was out of the question on account of the strange feeling that twisted inside him at the thought of doing such a thing. The next option would be holding onto his sleeve, or grabbing his wrist again. Would that be peculiar for her, though? He’s unsure as to why it would be peculiar, but it felt peculiar. 

Before he could decide what to do, Marinette tentatively took hold of his bag strap.

“I-Is this okay?” She asked, searching his face for discomfort or disagreement.

Felix blinked. That was actually..

“This is perfect.” He said, grabbing the part of the bag strap that was just above her hand.

A relieved smile passed her lips. “Good. Let’s keep walking then. I wanna learn as many facts as possible before we leave.”

The two set off, weaving around people and going from tank to tank. At each new animal they passed, Marinette would request a series of facts, and Felix would oblige when he could. Then, when he couldn’t recall any facts, they would look up a few for the sake of fun. He had a decent time doing it, as he got to learn some new things about the animals and himself. For example, the electric discharge of an eel can be stronger than five hundred volts, sea turtles apparently think jellyfish are delicious, and when Felix’s hand finally slid onto Marinette’s on the bag strap, he didn’t mind at all. In fact, he didn’t even notice that his hand was on hers until she jumped ahead to look at the shark tank.

“Wow..” Marinette breathed, staring at the enormous whale shark that was gliding through the water in front of them. “Look at how big it is..”

Although slightly distracted by the fact that they’d been touching and he hadn’t noticed, Felix joined her at the tank and watched the shark as well. With its large body and narrow tale, its movements were slow and graceful, and seeing it brought a soothing sense of calm to him. 

He glanced down at Marinette, curious how she might react to the gigantic creature. 

Despite buzzing about while looking at the other animals, she stood entirely still as she stared upwards through the glass. One of her hands was delicately placed on the tank, and her lips were parted with awe. She appeared to be mesmerized by the sight. 

The mix of water and the lights above brought a bright, blue glow to the room, and it reflected on her perfectly. Accenting her round cheeks and wide eyes, bringing out the deep blue color of her hair that was often hidden.. the illumination made her seem utterly.. ethereal. 

Felix sucked in a small breath, shocked by the swirl of warmth and enchantment that swelled within him. Why was he feeling this way? He didn’t recall experiencing it before. Was it something about the aquarium? Or was it something about Marinette? Why would she make such a difference, though?

“I know you enjoy her company.”

His mother’s words hit him like a truck as they resurfaced in his mind. Enjoying her company.. Was that what this was? He didn’t think something like that would be ‘warm’ or ‘enchanting’, but he supposed he’s never fully enjoyed someone’s presence before to know. Claude and the others- even his parents on rare occasions -would annoy or pester or drain his energy. Marinette, somehow, never did that. Maybe it was because she always listened to him, or because she would offer a smile or clothes or croissants- whatever he might need without ever asking for anything in return. She was selfless and didn’t demand his attention like everyone else, and that, Felix realized, made all the difference. 

“Know any facts about this one?” Marinette said, shaking him from his thoughts.

“Hm?” Felix dragged his eyes back to the whale shark. “Oh, yes. If I remember correctly, they-”

“There you are!”

Claude’s declaration barely registered in Felix’s mind before he was suddenly tackled by the brunette. 

“We’ve been looking for you everywhere!”

Felix scowled as he wrestled Claude off of him. There’s the feeling of revulsion that he remembered so well. 

“Oh, and you found Marinette!” Allegra chimed in with a smile. 

Marinette pulled a sheepish expression. “Sorry for walking off.. I got distracted.”

Allan waved off the remark as he joined them. “Don’t sweat it. This trip was meant to be fun. As long as you had a good time, everything’s fine.”

Marinette smiled. “Thanks. I had a great time.”

“Aw~.” Claude jokingly sang. “That’s good to hear. What about you, Felix? Did you have a good time?”

Felix rolled his eyes at the babying tone, but a chuckle brought his gaze back to Marinette. She was shaking her head at Claude, her eyes bright with amusement and her smile warm.

“Actually..” He muttered. “I did.” 

~~~~~~

The icy cold of the evening brushed over Marinette as she walked outside, but she smiled anyway. The aquarium had been more amazing than she could have ever predicted, which was saying something considering she’d already expected it to be great. She got to see turtles and whale sharks and octopi and all sorts of animals! On top of that, she got to see all of those animals with Felix, who was able to tell her little facts about them! Although some of the facts were hard to swallow.. like, who calls octopus limbs ‘arms’ instead of ‘tentacles’? That’s crazy!

Marinette chuckled at the memory as she nuzzled her nose into her white scarf for warmth. Yes, some of the facts were definitely mind boggling, but there was no doubt that they were the best part of the trip. 

Well.. She thought, glancing over her shoulder. Maybe not the best part.

The rest of the group was exiting the aquarium behind her, Felix being amongst them. The best part of the day had honestly been when he said that he had a good time. With all the scowling and his getting lost, she’d been kicking herself about inviting him to the aquarium, especially when she knew that crowds weren’t his forte. But then they went on that impromptu tour together, and his hard expressions softened into small smiles and quiet laughs. 

It was the first time she saw him fully relax (in a crowded room, no less!). Just knowing that she’d been a part of that brought her more joy and fulfillment than the whale shark she’d originally wanted to see. 

Of course, now that the tour was over and the group was back together, the hard expressions had returned, and he was currently chewing out Claude for trying to hug him “in the name of warmth”. Marinette couldn’t help giggling at the sight, though. Even as Felix was clutching his coat around himself and shivering, he refused to be touched by anyone. She vaguely wondered if he was against the notion for a specific reason or simply had an aversion to touch. He didn’t seem to mind them touching in the aquarium, though, so there had to be a specific reason then, right?

“I don’t know about you guys,” Allegra spoke up, taking Marinette from her thoughts, “but I had a wonderful time today.”

“Are you kidding?” Claude asked, finally stepping away from Felix with a smile. “Today was awesome! And that mermaid show? Incredible.”

“And completely generic.” Felix added with an eye roll. “They didn’t even bother to make it look as though she were breathing underwater.”

“Well, yeah.” Allegra smirked. “They can’t get real mermaids. Those are too hard to catch.”

“That’s because they don’t exist.” Felix stated flatly. “Which is another reason why they shouldn’t hold that show. It will give people the wrong idea.”

“Hey, mermaids could exist!” Claude- because if anyone were to fight for this, it would be him -insisted. “The ocean is huge, and we haven’t seen it all yet. You have no idea whether mermaids actually exist or not.”

Felix scoffed. “Please. A creature with a human half and a fish half that also lived in the ocean would be scientifically impossible. At the very least, the human side would perish from the low temperatures and prolonged exposure to salt water. The only way it might survive is if the creature simply had a humanoid half rather than a human half, and in that case, the creature wouldn’t look anything like the actor they had inside.”

“Who said anything about science?” Claude argued. “What if it’s magic?”

Marinette had been watching the conversation with an amused smile until the topic of magic came up. She knew it wasn’t a direct mention to her alter ego, but it still caused her stiffen. Thankfully, no one noticed, since they were too busy watching Felix raise a brow.

“That’s preposterous.”

“How come?” Claude retorted. “If we can have Ladybug and Chat Noir running around with their magical weapons and abilities, why can’t we have mermaids?”

Marinette faltered in her steps, but quickly regained balance. Now that was a direct mention of her alter ego. Should she try to change the subject? It definitely felt like it was time to change the subject. 

“Chat Noir and Ladybug gain their powers from the miraculous specifically.” Felix stated. “What you are suggesting is an entire species that is born and raised with the same ‘power’ that doesn’t come from a miraculous. That’s what I’d call grasping at straws.”

“You guys know the show is supposed to be for kids, right?” Allan asked, gaining a snort from Allegra.

Claude placed his hands on his hips. “Yes, but I still think mermaids can exist somewhere.”

“No, they can’t.” Felix remarked.

“You don’t have any proof of that!”

“Neither do you!”

“Okay!” Allegra interjected, stepping between the two boys with a barely contained snicker. “You two kids need to behave or you’ll both be put in time out.”

Marinette laughed despite herself, even as Felix glared at the blonde. 

Allegra ignored the glare, turning back to the group as she asked, “So where do you guys want to eat for supper?”

“We’re eating supper together?” Marinette inquired.

“Only if you want to.” Allegra smiled. “I just figured, since it’s seven o’clock, that our parents have already eaten. So we might as well eat together, right?”

“Yeah!” Claude agreed, the mermaid discussion slipping from his mind before Marinette’s very eyes. “Let’s go to Dairy Queen. I haven’t been there in a while, and an ice cream sounds so good right now.”

“You want to get ice cream?” Felix blanched. “In this weather?”

“Sure.” Claude smiled. “Anytime’s ice cream time for me. Besides, it’s not that cold.”

“Not that cold??” Felix retorted, his eyebrows furrowing in disbelief. 

Marinette chuckled, silently agreeing with Felix. Ice cream was nice when you weren’t already covered in goosebumps due to the cold, but right now, she’d much rather a nice, steaming cup of hot chocolate.

A gasp brought her attention to Allegra, who pointed towards the sky with wide eyes.

“Guys, look!” She grinned. “It’s snowing!”

The group followed her gaze to the Eiffel Tower, which stood bright and tall in the blackness of the night. 

Sure enough, flakes of freshly fallen snow were passing the lights of the city and fluttering to the ground. It started out small, with a bit of snow here and there, but soon, a whole flurry began, quickly covering the sidewalks and roads.

“Aw, yeah!” Claude cheered, sticking out his tongue to catch some of the snowflakes. “Freshly fallen snow, man!”

Marinette giggled and stuck out her tongue as well, feeling a wave of euphoria as the snowflakes began hitting her tongue, nose, forehead and cheeks. It hasn’t snowed since last month, and she’d missed it dearly.

“C’mon, Fehix!” Allan urged, his words coming out in blabs because of his tongue sticking out. “Catch snowfakes wis us”

“Absolutely not.” Felix sharply declined. “Do you know how many pollutants are in the first wave of snow, especially with all of this wind? Sulfate, Nitrate, Formaldehyde, Mercury- you might as well drink a bucket of chemicals!”

Marinette paused, though she left her tongue sticking out. Were there really that many chemicals in snow? She’d known there were some, of course, but it couldn’t really be that dangerous, could it?

“Wow, Felix.” Allegra said with an amused smile. “I didn’t know snow could be so dangerous. Can you lighten up a little, please?”

Felix tisked. “I’m only stating facts.”

“Right, right.” Allegra replied. “You don’t have to stick out your tongue, but at least spare us on the ‘grim’ details, will you? It kind of dampers the whole ‘first snowfall of the year’ deal.”

Felix rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything else. Instead, he tilted his head towards the sky and closed his eyes. Marinette imagined he was trying to gather some semblance of calm or composure, if his deep breaths were any indication. What really caught her attention, though, were the snowflakes. Or rather, the way the snowflakes landed on him. They were crisp and frozen, and it created specks of white all across his features as the snow nestled in Felix’s hair and eyelashes. If she had been any less disciplined, she might have been tempted to take a picture of him. (Only to use the snowflake patterns later as a design idea, of course.)

“Alright, let’s head for Dairy Queen!” Claude abruptly declared, breaking the brief silence that had settled amongst them. 

Felix’s eyes cracked open, incidentally meeting Marinette’s at the same time. She averted her gaze, a strange sense of deja vu washing over her. Here she was, staring at him again. How many times was she going to feel weird about staring- or being caught staring -until she remembered not to stare? Granted, it shouldn’t feel weird in the first place. Staring was staring, especially when it was a stare between friends. The most he should say about it is, “what are you looking at?”, and that wasn’t a problem. That was a completely logical response, actually. So why did her stupid brain think it was a problem?

“I call dibs on driving Marinette!” Claude added, wrapping his arm around Marinette’s shoulders.

“What!” Allegra nearly yelled from shock. “You can’t call dibs!”

“Okay, then I call turns!” Claude shot back. “You got to drive her on the way here, so I get to drive her on the way to Dairy Queen.”

“Guys, you know she’s a human being, right?” Allan commented.

Marinette laughed. “It’s alright. I’ll go with Claude to Dairy Queen, and Allegra can drive me home.”

“Aw, she gets to drive you home?” Claude whined.

Allegra, however, pulled a triumphant grin. “Ha-ha! I get a good night snack from Mme Sabine!”

“I’m glad you two only value Marinette for her pastries.” Felix remarked.

Marinette snorted, but Allegra and Claude immediately let out an offended gasp.

“How dare you claim such a thing!” Claude said, now wrapping both arms around Marinette’s shoulders. “Marinette is amazing and wonderful, and I would choose her over pastries a thousand times.”

Allegra hugged Marinette as well. “Yeah, we’re not that shallow. Mme Sabine’s cooking is phenomenal, but Marinette is the one we truly love.”

“I hear that.” Allan chuckled.

The beginnings of a blush curled around Marinette’s cheeks, and she hugged Allegra and Allan back. She knew that she was the one they loved, not the pastries, and that’s why she wouldn’t hesitate to give them all the pastries in the world if they asked.

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