#i was looking through and deleting old photos on my phone and found a screenshot of this happening again about 10 years ago

[punmonster]

every few years someone screams "new canon portal game!!!" and its a mod, a fanmade game, or something that is just using the tools in the portal 2 perpetual testing initiative. its like screaming "new half life game!" every time someone builds something in garrys mod. even if its well made and professional, its still a fan game. btw fox chell isnt canon either. valve store has a section that features fanmade works and that was one of them. please look into things

[jj-one]

A MODERN LOVE STORY.

this is smut, do not interact if under 18

when your tinder date who was supposed to be just a hook up becomes your boyfriend within a week.

pairing: han jisung x f!reader genre/tags: pwp, smut, fluff, jisung is such a gentleman, fingering, oral (m receiving), piv, unprotected sex (wrap before u tap), major size kink, slight daddy kink (not surprised), jisung has huge dick, jisung cums on readers face, i think that's it Imk if i missed any o_0 words: 4.5k

**old repost from my deleted blog

Dating apps were never really your thing, you’ve always been an “old fashioned” kind of girl. You’ve secretly dreamt of meeting your lover in a grocery store or bumping into them at a library where you instantly fall in love. Unfortunately, you can’t be delusional forever, your Prince Charming isn’t going to just come knocking for you at your doorstep. Unless…you find someone who can come to your doorstep but through an app, Tinder. You decided to give it a try and see what all the hype was about after your best friend Ryujin raved about all the hot guys she was meeting— and banging.

You often found yourself quite jealous of all the good sex she was getting, she could have anything she wanted all at her fingertips. You were always horny and looking for the next toy to play with but you decided maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to try and find a cute guy to hook up with and relieve some quick stress. You may be old fashioned but you weren’t too uptight to have a hook up once in a while.

You downloaded Tinder for once in your lifetime and wrote in all your info, chose your best photos, and made a silly little bio. Your bio was just ‘looking for a fun time, need someone who can break my back, not my heart’ you know it super lame but most guys like corny shit like that anyway. You swiped for ages and ages, barely giving anyone a right swipe because you were way too picky. They had to be top tier in the visual department even if they were just a one night stand, you’ll always have standards. You were getting tired of swiping and just about to call it a night up until you swiped on the next profile. His name was Han and he only lived 2.5 miles from you.

As you were scrolling through his profile, you couldn’t stop thinking how hot he was, his hair was blonde, and he always wore the same cross necklace in his all photos. You read his profile some more and saw that he has a dog named Bbama and you smiled at how adorable his dog was. You instantly swiped right after seeing the dog pics and you couldn’t believe you matched with him already. Your heart kind of skipped a beat for a second and you closed the app immediately. You didn’t think he’d be so quick to match with you and you wanted to message him but your pride got in the way. You figured he’s way too fine to even message you back, he probably gets floods of messages from girls asking. You decide to play it cool and not say anything, instead you took a screenshot of his profile and sent it to Ryujin.

She texts you back a couple minutes later and says she thinks he’s really hot, you’re glad she approves but you’re not surprised that she wouldn’t. You go through his profile again and see that he has his Instagram linked to his Tinder, you go to his Instagram account and continue your stalking spree. You see a bunch of pics of his dog, food, and mostly outdoorsy stuff. You didn’t figure him to be the wilderness type of guy but he was, he’s been hiking all over different mountains and has photos of him at the very top. You were in awe of how fearless this man was, you were swayed already by how he presented himself.

Your phone buzzes with a new notification.

‘Han sent you a message’ Tinder alerts you of 2 new notifications from him. You open the messages immediately, a huge grin plastered on your face as you read what he said to you.

‘Hi y/n’

‘What’s your favorite food?’

‘I’m taking notes on where I need to take you on our first date’

That was very smooth but also straightforward, you liked him already.

‘Pho, I could eat it everyday’

‘You’re already planning our date? lol’

You sent the messages and texted Ryujin straight away, telling her how much of a success this was already going. She tells you how much she was right all along and how you’ve been missing out this whole time, you just giggle at her shenanigans.

You get another notification from Tinder and it’s from your favorite new guy already.

‘Yes, how could I not? You’re a 10/10’

You smile to yourself when reading at that comment, you never really saw yourself as a perfect 10 but if someone this highly attractive sees you that way then you must be a smokeshow. Han sends you another message,

‘I can pick you up tmrw at 5? Dinner is on me babe so no need to bring a wallet ;)’

You bit your lip at that last sentence, who would’ve known someone this sexy could be your sugar daddy AND fuck buddy? Ok well maybe the sugar daddy part was just a joke. It definitely turned you on knowing that he’s willing to spend his money on you without you feeling guilt about it though.

‘See you at 5 <3’ you reply to him.

The very next day you’re in the car going to your date with Han. The moment you laid eyes on him there was a lustful nature that came out of you. You didn’t even think it could be possible but he looked even better in person, the pictures didn’t do him justice whatsoever. His jawline was insane, it was sharp and looked absolutely perfect from his side profile. His hair was a little messy but in a really cute way, he had a small silver stud in his ear and wore his cross necklace like the one in his photos. You couldn’t believe it was really him in your driveway, he had to be the most beautiful you’ve ever seen. He wore a plain black T-shirt with baggy jeans and converse, he looked effortlessly cool. He was driving with one hand on the wheel and the other was playing with his radio. He was trying to get the Aux cord to work properly but it just wasn’t cooperating with him, he decides to just leave it alone.

“So uh.. anyway is this your first Tinder date?” He asks trying to break the awkward silence.

“Yeah, actually it is,” you tell him “I’m not the hugest fan of dating apps but I decided why not give it a shot.” You say as your shrug your shoulders.

“Ah I see, well you met me so that’s a good sign so far right?” He asks with a goofy grin on his face, you couldn’t help but giggle at his quirkiness.

You talk for a bit more in the car and get to know each other, as you’re getting nearer to the destination he comes to a stop into a parking lot. He gets out of the car first and opens the door for you on your side.

“M’lady,” Han says in a funny voice, taking your hand in his as you get out the car. You’re loving his silly and fun energy so far, it’s definitely bringing your mood up as you had no expectations for how this would go.

The date ended up going extremely well, you both couldn’t stop laughing and cracking jokes together. Everything felt super lighthearted and easygoing with Han, you felt like you could say just about anything with him, feeling like you’ve known him for much longer than a couple of hours. He bought so much expensive meat for the both of you at the restaurant and the pho was fantastic. You’ve never been to this particular restaurant before as it was a bit too out of your price range, you were surprised when he told you he ate here frequently. You wanted to ask him what he does for a living but you don’t want to seem rude. You ate as much as you could and he definitely ate way more than you, lightly making fun at the way you eat. You do eat pretty slow so you aren’t shocked by the way he’s noticing that already.

You like the way Han eats because he stores food in his cheeks like a squirrel, usually that action would give you the ick but with him you find it quite endearing. Once you both finish eating at the restaurant he takes you to a pier where there’s pretty lights near the water. It was a nice day to go out on a walk so he grabbed your hand and led the way down the path. You guys talked so much for hours about any and everything, you talked for so long that you ended up watching the sunset together, then looked at the stars. When you looked down and noticed that you’ve been holding hands with him this whole time, but you didn’t want to point it out to Han incase he’d let go.

You’ve spent a total of only 5 hours with this man but you really do feel as though you’ve known him your whole life. He was so fun to talk to, handsome, and literally the sweetest person ever, it made you question how someone this perfect could even be single. You really couldn’t wait any longer for him to end up in your bed tonight and that’s exactly what you planned to happen. As the night progresses you ask him if he wants to come back to your place for the night. He looks surprised yet obliges and drives back to your apartment. It was pretty late at night and you only had your tiny lamp in the kitchen on, so you couldn’t see much of where you were going. You turn around to face Han who’s been staring you up and down this whole time.

You didn’t even have much time to take off your jacket before Han’s lips were all over yours. His hands roamed all over your body and yours were now tangled in his messy blonde hair. He startles you for a second when he picks you up and lifts you onto the marble kitchen countertop, not breaking the kiss once. He bites down on your lower lip slightly, making you gasp so he can easily slip his tongue in you. His movements were gentle and he kisses you so passionately, one of his hands comes up behind your neck and the other is stroking the apex of your thigh. As you both pull away from kissing, he stops to stare at you for the longest second.

“You are so beautiful y/n,” he says, stroking your hair and tucking some behind your ear, then he kisses your ear and licks it. He continues peppering a few more kisses downwards and to your neck, beginning to suck lightly, causing you to let out a quiet moan. He leaves a couple small hickies around your neck and kisses your lips once again. You tug at his T-shirt and motion for him to take it off, he does as he’s told and removes it from his body. You get a faint look at his chest since it’s a such little bit of light in the kitchen, from what you can see however, he looks perfect. When he comes closer, you can feel his rock solid abs, you know he works out but you weren’t expecting him to be this fit.

You go back to making out for awhile and his hands are now laid on your chest. He cups both of your boobs in his hands and kneads them through your thin shirt, he realizes this isn’t enough for him so he slides his hands underneath your shirt. He ran his fingers against your nipples and starts to pinch them lightly, making you moan directly into his mouth. He groans when you bring your hand lower to his pelvis, trying to locate his belt so you can tell him to take it off. You finally reach something you presume to be leather and you grab it, bringing his body closer to you in the process.

“You want me to take this off huh?” Han asks, pointing to his belt but all you see is his erect dick print through his jeans.

You nod your head profusely, “yes pleasee, right now!”

He grins at you while slowly taking off his belt, throwing it down on the floor and now he’s stroking his cock through his pants. You hear him groan a little bit as you can see him palming himself, wanting to take him in your mouth so bad.

“Let me give you head,” you say almost desperately, you didn’t mean for it to sound so needy but you really wanted— no needed his cock.

“Okay,” he says smiling back at you, “sounds great to me.”

You get up from the kitchen counter and now position yourself on the floor, on your knees. You never pictured yourself to be the one sucking a random guy off Tinder’s dick but hey, things just so happen to turn out that way. You unzip Han’s pants and gently pull them down, he was wearing pink supreme boxers and you expected nothing less from him. You pull down his boxers too and his erect cock springs up out of them like a slinky. Eyes growing wide in awe as you couldn’t wait for his giant, thick cock to go into your mouth. You start to stroke his length and realize that one hand won’t be enough to do the job, you have to use two to get a good firm grasp around it and even then it’s still a few inches off.

You contemplate how you’re even going to fit all of him into your mouth but you think of the consequences later. You continue pumping his cock with your hands and he moans lowly under his breath. You lick the tip of his cock and he winces a little, that must be his sensitive spot. You suck on the tip and guide your mouth to slowly take in more of his cock, keeping a suction-tight grip on him as you keep lowering your head. You get to a point where you start to physically choke and gag on his cock, your saliva was getting everywhere now, all over your chin, your chest, his cock, and some even spilled on the floor. You know you have to be a good girl and take all of him but you never had someone this big before.

“You have such a nice dick,” you blurt out while taking a break, wanting to please him more than anything.

“Thank you baby,” Han smiles down at you while you bring his cock back into your mouth, this time breathing through your nose you have a better chance at taking him all. You were successful and managed to get most of it inside your mouth, maybe just a couple centimeters off. You kept at it, sucking his cock like your life literally depended on it, shooting your head back and forth making you feel dizzy.

“Mmm yeah… that’s it baby… just like that-” Han moans out for you with his eyes closed shut and head thrown back, you’re making him feel so good right now.

“I think I’m gonna cum y/n…”

You continue what you’ve been doing for the past 15 minutes or so, sucking his cock at an even faster rate. You look up at him and give him a sultry look with your eyes, you need to feel his cum all over you.

“Please cum on my face daddy,” you tell him, you used to let your ex cum on your face all the time and you were craving for that kind of thing at the moment. You keep deepthroating him and making gagging noises in the process, wanting him to know just how hard you’re working for his cum. He lets out a long moan and keeps saying he’s about to cum, you tap his dick on your tongue so you can get a taste of his load shooting out and then… you suddenly go blind. Han’s load comes out so fast that it got everywhere, causing some of it to get into your eye. You couldn’t see for a bit and rubbed your eye, feeling a thick, sticky substance on your left cheek. Han’s cum was now painted all over your face, some even got on your shoulder and landed on the floor. You smiled at how much cum you caused to come out his dick, feeling awfully proud of yourself.

You get up from your knees and start kissing again, he brings you back to the counter you were originally sitting on and he toys with the waistband of your skirt. He pulls your skirt down and begins rubbing your pussy through your underwear, dragging his fingers along your slit and teasing you. You whimper as you buck your hips up, wanting to feel his fingers on your clit. He finally moves your panties to the side and starts rubbing his middle finger against your swollen clit.

“Damn, you’re wet as fuck…” he says, looking at your glistening, wet pussy. He circles your clit and spits on it, mixing your juices with his saliva. He then dips his finger inside your hole, you let out a moan as he starts pushing his finger in and out. The sound of his fingers going in your wet pussy sound so dirty yet so blissful. He kisses you as he keeps fingering you, spreading you open with another finger. You’re such a moaning mess and it’s all thanks to Han’s wonderful fingers. You were arching your back at the sensation you were feeling, his thumb is now rubbing your clit while two of his fingers are still inside. You wanted his cock so badly, but you were going to have to ask nicely for it.

“I need you…” you whine to Han, you don’t know why you were too shy to say what you needed the most though.

“Need what baby?” He asks with his fingers still deep inside your sopping cunt, you were aching for something bigger and it’s making you go crazy.

“Your cock… need your cock, please!” You practically beg at this point for it. Han’s smile grew wider as he saw how needy you were already acting for him.

“As you wish pretty girl,” he says, taking his fingers out and licking the juices off of them one by one. He takes his cock in his hand and rubs it along your folds, he feels how soaking wet you are and it’s already enough to make him want to burst. He doesn’t think he’s a fast cummer (is that a word?) but for you, he’d nut instantly. He slides his thick, long cock into your little pussy, making you audibly gasp in pain and pleasure.

The size of him is enough to make you want to never be able to walk again, but you think once he’s done with you he’ll be leaving you permanently bed ridden.

“Just relax baby, you can take it all trust me..” Han assures you as he continues to slide his length inside, your wetness mixed with the sounds of his dick makes for the perfect porn audio. Your legs were spreading wide open and rested on his shoulders, he was taking nice and slow strokes at first. He wants you to become more adjusted to his size, he’s finally able to get all of himself in. You look down at your stomach to see a giant bulge, his cock was so big that he practically took up half of your torso.

“Ready baby?” Han whispers in your ear, asking for the okay to start thrusting deeper into you. You nod as you were finally getting used to him, he goes a little faster and starts to build a steady pace. His cock is hitting the back of your walls nicely and you feel every inch of him inside you. The cross necklace he was still wearing dangled over you, which was pretty ironic for the sinful act you two were committing at the moment. Wrapping your arms around his neck as he moves deeper into you, stretching you out like the little whore you are. You feel yourself growing wetter with each thrust and he’s grabbing your waist tightly with both hands.

“Your pussy feels so fucking good… my god..” Han says moaning, his eyes are closed again as he keeps fucking your tight pussy. You took his cock so well, you were so proud of yourself.

“Your cock feels amazing daddy,” you whimper out to him as you continue moaning his name, feeling like you’re about to cum already. Han’s breath becomes more irregular and his strokes are getting messier, you can tell he’s reaching his climax as well.

“Let’s cum together.” Han coaxes, holding your hand while fucking into you, his cock fits all the way inside without hurting you now and all you feel is immense pleasure. You nod your head in agreement with him and focus on reaching your high. A wave of ecstasy washes over you as Han hits a certain spot in you, his dick is so big that it can reach little places you never felt before, it’s an incredible feeling. Your head swings back as you feel your orgasm approaching, you let out a few curse words and catch your breath. Han feels his release coming too and quickly pulls out, he pumps his cock for a little bit with his right hand and watches his load shoot out onto your stomach. He lets out an erotic groan as he finishes off his last bit of cum and strokes his cock a little more.

“Fuck that was the best sex I’ve ever had..” Han says while panting, grabbing your face to pull into you a breathless kiss.

“Yeah, that was definitely amazing,” you respond after pulling away, smiling at his first impressions of you.

It was now midnight and you were both exhausted, you two were too fucked out to do anything else and Han was way too tired to head home that night. You didn’t mind Han staying over at your place, to be honest, it felt pretty normal. As you both got into bed he gave you tons of forehead kisses and cradled you to sleep, his embrace felt safe and protecting. You never wanted to leave his presence and neither did he.

It was the early hours of the morning and the sun is beaming on your face through the sheer white curtains. You wake up to a familiar smell coming from your kitchen, it was the smell of eggs and pancakes cooking. You put on some clothes quickly to head to your kitchen, you see Han in nothing but his underwear cooking you breakfast. You looked at the clock and saw that it was only 7:04 am, how is he already awake at this time of the morning? You make your way on over to him and give him a chaste kiss, telling him good morning. He finishes up cooking and grabs some plates for the both of you. You couldn’t believe your eyes right now, your Tinder date that you just hooked up with last night is now cooking you breakfast. You want to feel like you’re living in a dream but the more you keep blinking the more real this situation feels.

“Ready to eat babe?” Han asks, handing you a plate full of food. You nod, still trying to process everything that’s going on but you don’t want to keep questioning it. You sit at the table with Han and eat your food. You both talk as though everything is normal, still making little jokes with each other like yesterday’s date. The food he made was pretty good and you were wondering what other hidden skills he may have been hiding. You’re now questioning what could be wrong with him since he’s so perfect, why hasn’t someone like him not been snatched up yet? As you finish eating you head back upstairs, Han follows you.

“What’re you doing?” You ask him, turning around to face him in confusion.

“Im just following where you’re going,” he admits sheepishly.

“But why?” You genuinely want to know why he’s considered still being here and isn’t fleeing after finally getting what he wanted.

“I want to stay here for a while,” he says while looking away at something else, he was a bit shy to ask if he could stay over for another day.

“For how long?” You ask, wondering if he’s serious about his infatuation with you.

“I- I don’t know, can I just stay for one more night? Please y/n?” He holds your hand, gently caressing and rubbing it.

You feel conflicted, on one hand you want someone you can feel connected to on a deeper level but the other hand is making you want to keep this relationship as no strings attached. You sigh as you see the glint in his eyes, his eyes were all it took for you to give into him.

“Okay” you say, he smiles as he hears your swift response. He presses a soft kiss against your lips and lets you lead the way back to your room.

Four days have passed and Han is still staying in your apartment with you. You decided you didn’t actually hate his company and that it was just the fear of commitment that made you reluctant. Han was different though, he brought a side out of you that no one else has. He brings you flowers, makes you laugh until your stomach hurts, listens to your problems/needs/wants/desires, shuts up when he’s supposed to, and does anything you say at the drop of a hat.

He’s the perfect guy for you and you met him on something you wouldn’t have tried if it wasn’t for your best friend. You’re still in shock by how you and Han are basically in a relationship now, I mean who stays at someone’s house for almost a week if they weren’t falling in love? You should be happy yet you’re nervous, you’re nervous about telling Ryujin, what if she thinks you’re moving too fast? You didn’t tell anyone about this “relationship” yet since you’ve never rushed into things this quickly with someone.

Han was a great person and you knew that with every fiber of your being, you just didn’t know if others would see that through just a few days of talking. You know you’re going to have to do it at some point since you’re actually thinking about getting serious with him. Han has been nothing more than amazing to you and if everyone else doesn’t see that then they’re crazy, you can’t convince everyone to like him but you start to feel as though it won’t be an issue for him. You think he’ll fit in just fine with everyone in due time ♡

[beingstalked]

To show these accounts were never made for the purpose of stalking them. My old twitter account I had created in College. The Ellie account I cannot find details for but it was just an account created for the hype of TLOU2. I hardly used it but called Liam out when he created an account pretending to be a character from a game, something he said I did. The details for my last twitter account I had were: Joined November 2020. I didnt initially put my name on the account or link myself to it in any way, didn't post photos of myself, just kept it as K. Liam still obsessively stalked to find me and continued to stalk. I eventually found his accounts through a mutual friend. My JK account I deleted, Liam did not get my account taken down because the account was private and had never followed or interacted with Liam on that account, Most of the time I have deleted my accounts because I want to have a social media presence without having Liam constantly having eyes on me. I've deleted my first reddit account because I'd had ago at Liam telling him to leave me and Phil alone and he would stalk and the pathetic loser he is, kept down voting. He has a thing with "if I got higher numbers than them, I'm better than them". I always joked it was small PP energy and when Liam talked about his lack of sex life on ASimpleManInADress, it explained everything. I have never wanted to be constantly pestered by Liam, I've removed myself on certain platforms to try stop this behaviour. Yet when I remove myself, Liam will look for hours on different platforms to find me, to feed this obsession he has with me. He always says he's stalked and harassed by me, yet I have tried removing myself multiple times, and he always comes to whatever platform I'm on. If I was stalking and harassing him, why has he never tried removing himself, why has he created new accounts when I've blocked him, to then stalk me on the new account. Why does he care so much about me? Why has he cared so much for 4 years about what I do with my life? How would he know I've blocked his new accounts on Reddit when I don't interact with them? Simple answer, because he goes to stalk my account to see what I've been saying, then realised hes blocked. On Twitter he used to react to what he did, followed my friends to be blocked by them? Accuse us of wanting him, blocked a fake account i suspected to be his partner under the name Izzy Darke? Immediately says we're keeping an eye on him, yet he went to stalk my account and realised I had blocked him, therefore making it very obvious (i never communicated with the account or made a post about me blocking the account), whenever I've posted on here, ive never sent Liam a link, ive posted on my Reddit AFTER I've blocked him, therefore meaning he made his new accounts and didnt like that i was posting proof that proved what he was done, but also that he was a compulsive liar about the whole situation. He reported my post of me showing what message I had sent Stacey in Feb 2023 because he did not want to me to reveal me going to them and calling out everything hes done, he wanted to twist the narrative and be the victim and have sympathy. Hes always been the butt of jokes, the biggest one amongst his mates was when he had his foot run over by someone in a wheelchair in school, hes ran into a wall trying to do a wrestling move, completely missing the person and running headfirst into a wall, or jumped down off a wall and fucked his knees up. Hes never liked being the butt of jokes and hiding behind a phone screen made him feel powerful, he just was never a good liar when it came to covering up what he had done, especially when theres screenshots to prove it. With how he does this behaviour, I'm not his first victim of stalking, I can guarantee he's done this to other people he was friends with, exes, probably the cousin that he repeatedly told Phil the story of he didn't like. This behaviour did not start with me.

[purpleshallot]

Followed You | Part 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!Reader

W/C: 2.6k

Summary: You meet this guy named Bucky through Instagram. Even though neither of you knows what the other person looks like, you two immediately connect. Things get complicated when you start your new job at Stark Industries and you catch a glimpse of the handsome Sergeant Barnes.

A/N: Big thanks to Jane @lunarbuck​​ for beta reading! Shout-out to Allie @alpineandbucky​ because I didn't realize while I was writing that I used her url as Bucky's name. 😅 Also many thanks to Alice @maladaptivexxdaydreaming​ for listening to me talk about this! Any and all reblogs/likes/comments are appreciated.

Series masterlist // Main masterlist // AO3

March 2nd

He had first commented on one of your Instagram posts after you posted that one picture of you holding your orange tabby cat, Mr. Beans. He must have been searching through the cat hashtag and found your post that way.

As someone who had no intentions of making it big on social media, you were still surprised when an Instagram notification popped up on your screen an hour after you posted your picture. Having a small friend group in real life meant that your Instagram page had a solid seventy-four followers, of which a max of ten people interacted with your posts.

You opened the app and clicked on the notifications tab, a red dot indicating that someone had interacted with one of your posts.

alpineandbucky liked your photo.

alpineandbucky left a comment on your photo: I don’t want to sound like a creep but your cat is very endearing.

And shortly after;

alpineandbucky started following you.

Immediately you clicked open the profile that had left the comment on your post.

Their profile picture was a black and white picture of a very adorable white cat staring into the camera lens. According to their profile, this person’s name was Bucky, which probably meant the cat in the profile picture was Alpine. There’s nothing wrong with picking an obvious username; yours wasn’t anything fancy either.

This person had only three posts; a picture of the same white cat in their profile picture sleeping on someone’s lap, a picture of a coffee cup on top of a napkin somewhere on a bench outside, and a mirror selfie from the neck down of a white person, presumably a man— looking at the built of the torso, in a black hoodie. You weren’t going to lie; a man in a black hoodie always made you feel some type of way. You opened the third picture to take a closer look at it. Some things you immediately noticed were the dark brown stubble on his chin, his left hand tucked away in his trouser pocket, and his right hand holding a black smartphone. The picture was posted two weeks ago, and the caption read: “Look Sam, I am a grown man capable of downloading an application onto my phone and uploading a “selfie”.”

One person had liked and commented on it, probably the Sam mentioned in the caption.

sam2378 Of course you named your profile after your damn cat.

alpineandbucky My “damn cat”? Next time you come, I’ll teach her how to bite ankles.

sam2378 You’re adorable, let me screenshot this for the group chat.

alpineandbucky Wait, what’s a screenshot?

alpineandbucky Don’t call me adorable.

alpineandbucky Sam.

alpineandbucky How do I delete comments?

Okay, so this person might actually be a very fit-looking eighty-something-year-old just figuring out how to use social media, and his grandson Sam is pestering him about it.

Bucky had four followers, all private accounts with no recognizable faces as profile pictures. He was following twenty people, including those four private accounts and a few popular pages. And now you.

You didn’t particularly like people who you didn’t know in real life following you, but you knew this was going to happen at some point, considering you didn’t have your profile on private.

You should probably block him. You opened the black hoodie picture again. Hmmm, or you don’t really have to block him. He wasn’t giving off any stranger danger vibes, just very digitally illiterate.

Fine, the random guy with the cute cat could stay. You liked his comment and didn’t think about it for another week.

March 10th

The new jacket you had purchased online had arrived, and you couldn’t wait to try it out with your outfit. Loving the fit and color of it, you posted a pic to your Instagram story with the caption: “What d’you think?”. You never showed your face in your pictures, liking the anonymity it gave you. Anyone who needed to know what you looked like, already knew. No need to remind them of your face every single day of the week.

Two of your friends sent you a message telling you that they absolutely loved your outfit, followed by some small talk about work and other stuff.

Thirty minutes after you had posted the picture onto your story, you got a notification.

alpineandbucky liked your story.

alpineandbucky replied to your story: I think it suits you very well!

Not having thought about him anymore, the message surprised you. You’d never had someone you didn’t really know react to one of your stories before, so you stared at your screen for a few seconds in bewilderment before liking the message. Okay, now you have to message him back, right? It’s quite rude not to��

yournamesomething: Thank you so much! 😊

You didn’t spend much time on your phone for the next few hours, keeping yourself busy with work and Mr. Beans. After dinner, when you finally had some time to relax and sit down on your couch in front of the TV, you checked your social media. While scrolling through your Instagram feed, you caught a glimpse of a picture of a white cat laying on top of a duvet with its eyes closed. Next to the cat was what seemed like a birthday card. You recognized the cat from that person’s profile picture. Interestingly, though, was that the number thirty-five on the card was crossed out, and written in black permanent marker was the number one-hundred-seven; probably an inside joke between him and the person who gave him the card. Funny joke aside, the not-so-subtle confirmation of his age made you feel at ease, knowing that the guy was in your acceptable range of ages to interact with online.

He didn’t add a caption, and the picture had only two likes and a comment of Sam wishing the guy a happy birthday. You knew that likes and comments didn’t dictate someone’s happiness, and you had only gotten about seven likes on your birthday post, but you somehow felt bad for the guy.

You quickly liked the picture and wrote a little comment; “Happy birthday! 🥳 Hopefully you had a nice day.”

You set your phone aside and continued watching some mediocre romantic movie on Netflix. Mr. Beans was contently purring by your side when, after a few minutes, your phone vibrated, and Mr. Beans' ears perked up.

alpineandbucky liked your comment.

alpineandbucky sent you a message.

Oh. Oh. An anxious feeling filled your stomach, and you took a glance at your sleeping cat to calm yourself down. Why were you feeling anxious about this? He’d messaged you before this morning, and you were fine then. But this was the second message that he initiated, and it somehow made you feel anxious and excited. Stop acting like a fool, you thought to yourself, you don’t even know what the guy looks like.

You opened the message;

alpineandbucky: Thank you for the birthday wishes! Figured I would thank you in person.

alpineandbucky: As much as this counts being “in person”.

You couldn’t help but giggle at the last message. By now, you were certain that this Bucky guy wasn’t really with the modern times. Maybe that’s why his friends had jokes about his age on his birthday card.

yournamesomething: I think it kind of counts, right? I’m a real person as far as I know…

alpineandbucky: Well, that’s a relief. My friend warned me about these “fake profiles”.

yournamesomething: Oh, believe me, you’ll know when a profile is fake. Two words: foreign MILFs.

alpineandbucky: MILFs?

yournamesomething: How long have you been on the internet?

alpineandbucky: I got this phone like 2 months ago…

yournamesomething: Oh Bucky… you’ve got a lot to learn. 🤣 A MILF is a sexually attractive older woman, meaning “mom I’d like to fuck”.

alpineandbucky: Oh…

yournamesomething: Are you sure you only turned 35 years old today? 😉

After your last message, the notifications stopped for the night. You could see that Bucky had seen the message, and you kept refreshing your Instagram app every so often but ultimately stopped checking after a while. Maybe he was at a party celebrating his special day with friends, or maybe he felt that your comment wasn’t really appropriate.

Whatever it was, you wouldn’t hear from him for the next couple of days.

March 20th

A lot had changed in the past few days; based on your portfolio and through some connections, you had been offered a job opening at Stark Industries on March 14th. When you looked at the job description, the salary, and the benefits, you just couldn’t say no to such an opportunity. Sure, it was only an administrative job, but compared to the one you had- it seemed too good to be true.

Taking a leap of faith, you had immediately put in your two weeks notice and were eagerly awaiting march 28th to arrive so you could start your new job.

Subtly wanting to let people know about your good mood, you’d posted a picture of your morning cup of coffee and a cheerful quote to your story.

As usual, nobody interacted with it. However, when you arrived at the office, you noticed the following notification, and your heart skipped a beat;

alpineandbucky liked your story.

You didn’t really know why you felt that kinda way when Bucky responded. You’d only interacted with him once, and as you reminded yourself before, you didn’t know what the guy looked like. You hadn’t followed him back yet either. It was the thrill of having someone anonymous messaging you that appealed to you. He didn’t know anything about you and vice versa.

He’d also proven that he could talk to a woman for more than five minutes without sending a dick pic or asking for sex, which in your opinion, was a good thing.

You also felt relieved that he had decided to interact with you again after he’d left you on read the other week. Was it selfish that you craved this stranger’s attention?

alpineandbucky replied to your story: Sorry for not messaging you back earlier, work got in the way. I’m glad that you’re having a nice day.

You looked at the message, clicked his profile again, and stared at the follow button. At this point, it’s only fair you follow the guy back. If he ends up being a creep, you can still block him, right? Please don’t let him be a creep… You clicked the follow button and returned to the message.

yournamesomething: That’s okay! I’m sorry to hear work had to bother you on your birthday though. I thought the MILFs had scared you off. 😅

alpineandbucky: It wasn’t too bad. And no the attractive mothers didn’t scare me away. :-)

alpineandbucky: That’s my first time sending an emoticon, hope I did it right. I looked them up yesterday. Also thank you for following me back.

yournamesomething: I mean it’s ugly, but I appreciate it. You know you’ve got emojis on your phone, right? And no worries it was about time that I followed you back. I’m pretty sure serial killers and stalkers are more up-to-date with how the internet works, so I’m in the clear! Right?

Instead of the quick responses, a few minutes passed again, but right when you thought he’d gone to work or something, his response appeared.

alpineandbucky: Right. :-)

yournamesomething: Can I ask, what d’you do for work?

alpineandbucky: Uhm… it’s kind of hard to describe? I guess you could say I’m in security. I have to travel for work often. What about you?

yournamesomething: Sounds interesting and I’m jealous that you get to travel! I’m in administration, not that exciting as security I’m afraid. Actually, I just signed a new contract last week. 😊 Next week I’ll be starting at a tech company.

alpineandbucky: Why wouldn’t it be as exciting? I’m sure you’re great at what you do. :-)

March 27th

You’d been messaging with Bucky every single day for the past seven days, and it felt great. You really felt connected to this stranger on the internet. Apparently, you both lived and worked in New York, adopted a cat from a local shelter (not the same one), and felt way too socially awkward to meet up in real life.

Most people on dating sites would’ve suggested going on a date after chatting for a few days, but you’d admitted to Bucky that you liked the anonymity chatting with a stranger gave you for a chance. You felt like you didn’t have to hide anything from him because he didn’t know you in your real life. Bucky had, to your surprise, had absolutely no objection to this proposition of staying anonymous to a degree. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was relieved.

Over the past few days, he’d revealed a little bit about himself. He’d told you that he had served in the army from age twenty-four till age twenty-eight but had to be relieved from duty due to an accident. You’d noticed that the subject wasn’t easy for him to talk about, so you hadn’t pressed further on the topic.

He’d mentioned that because of his years in the army and the consequences of his accident, he hadn’t really used social media when it first came into everyone’s life. Now, at a later age, his friends had pushed him to start exploring the internet. Apparently, he’d even tried online dating before, without much success. You’d admitted to him that you too had had little to no success in the online dating world.

After you’d shared some dating horror stories with him, he’d assured you that if he ever got comfortable with going out again, he’d show you what a real date looked like. As friends of course. And you’d gladly agreed.

Neither of you had shared a picture of yourselves with the other, it never got brought up in the conversation, and you didn’t mind. That didn’t stop you from imagining what he looked like, though. You’d imagined him with all types of faces and expressions, but eventually just accepted that in your mind, he looked like a faceless thirty-five-year-old white man wearing a black hoodie and trousers.

This evening you were feeling very anxious for tomorrow, your first day at Stark Industries. It was by far the biggest company you’d ever worked at, and having to meet all these new people and start over was making you nervous. When Bucky had asked you how you were feeling today, you’d answered honestly.

yournamesomething: Are you still awake?

alpineandbucky: I am, why are you?

yournamesomething: Can’t sleep. I feel like I’m going to fuck up somehow tomorrow. Why are you up?

alpineandbucky: Irregular sleeping pattern. Do you want to talk about it?

yournamesomething: I don’t know. There isn’t much to talk about, is there?

alpineandbucky: Would you like a distraction?

yournamesomething: … depends? What are you planning on distracting me with?

Your phone stayed quiet for a few minutes, making you worry that after everything, he might just send you a dick pic after all. At this point, you didn’t know if you’d be disgusted or would straight up laugh about it.

When you checked back after a few minutes, you noticed Bucky’s message. It wasn’t a text message. He’d sent you a voice message.

Immediately your eyes opened widely, and your heart started racing. You hadn’t expected him to send you a voice message because, let's be honest, who the fuck sends a voice message on Instagram. You counted to three and pushed the play button, not knowing what to expect.

“Hey erhm… I thought this might distract you a little bit um. My friend taught me how to do that today. Told me I should try it with you since we aren’t showing our faces and all. So yeah, um, this is my voice, I guess.”

And oh my god— his voice was so attractive.

✭

Taglist: @maladaptivexxdaydreaming​ @bxucky​ @shamevillain​ @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer​ @ajeff855​ @mysticatto​ @red42985​ @wordsbyilen @highly-functioning-mitochondria

[youarejesting]

Hope in the sheets.7

[Masterlist]

Beta: N/A Pairing: Hoseok x Reader Genre: Friendship, Comedy, Soft boy, Fluff, SMUT, Friends2Lovers, Words: 4.4k

Summary: You held many titles: his neighbor, colleague, wing-man… well, more likely a wing-woman, yet most importantly, you were his best friend. You had been friends since you were born. Between the two of you, you were younger; barely, but he never let you forget it. He always seemed to ruffle your hair and tease you, which could get rather annoying but he made up for it by treating you to things.

What if a drunken one night stand between you and your best friend Hoseok leads to more complicated situations? Your reckless twenties are cut short as you find yourself suddenly responsible for something a little more.

Warning: mentions a sex tape, mentions a birth tape

[First] [Previous] [Masterlist] [Next]

 “Ah! Ah! Ah!” This videotape felt dirty, Hoseok wasn’t sure why, but he was sweaty, his heart raced, as he tried to look anywhere but at the screen. The woman on the video kept making noises and heaven forbid he look between her legs. Was it warm in here or was it just him?

“As you can see the birth canal opens up wide to let the babies head come down and out and the shoulder here is the widest part, so you have to be careful to listen to your body otherwise you may tear, so here we go these are the final pushes and then the baby will slip out—”

“Hoseok, Hoseok wake up!” You called alarmed, Hoseok opened his eyes to see you and the birth class instructor standing over him.

“Don’t worry love, there is always one in every class who faints” The woman handed over some ice, “Put this behind his neck it will help slow his heart rate, nerves sometimes get the better of the soon to be dads”

Sitting up Hoseok sat up a little embarrassed, “sorry, I didn’t mean to faint”

“No, Hobi, it’s okay I feel nauseous as hell after that video too.  That looks scary as hell I don’t think I can do it” you whined. “This class traumatized me more than it helped, and what do we get a couple of cookies and some watered down juice. 

“You are so strong and I think you can do it?” Hoseok tried to reassure you and you scoffed. 

“If you're so confident you push the baby out.” Hoseok paled again swaying on the spot and you laid him back down. “You are properly scared aren’t you?”

“I am horrified,” he laughed, “I am a big chicken”

“Honestly, I am scared too but I don’t get a choice Hobi, this baby is inside me and it has to get out somehow." you shiver after confessing the fear that had been building in the back of your mind. “If I wasn’t afraid of surgery I would install the old side door”

The gesture of a flat hand across your stomach made Hoseok smile sadly. He took your hands in his. 

“I’m sorry that you have been dreading this. I will try to be someone who can eliminate your fears, little darling momma” he kissed your head. The instructor called everyone back to the mats and began explaining how to wash a baby and how to hold a baby for the first time. 

It was a fun class but you were happy to get home and rest, biding Hoseok good night. He went quickly to his house where Jimin was sitting waiting for him with a hanging clothes bag. 

“What were you so busy doing that I had to pick up your dry cleaning?”

“Y/n’s birthing class” Hoseok's face turned grave as he adopted a serious tone. “Jimin, don’t ever go to a birthing class. I don’t think I can unsee what I saw.”

“Haha, I’m not that silly, I know where babies come from. I am glad I am a man who likes men, so I will never step foot in a birthing class unless you pay me a large fortune. I mean I could watch someone give birth for money."

Hoseok shivered, making Jimin laugh at his expense. “You look pale, so let's change the subject. I bought Yoongi's old van. He sold it for some new equipment. That means I can get rid of the junk van I was driving before.”

“Can I have your old van?” Hoseok jumped on the opportunity. 

“Uh sure, but I think it’s more money than it’s worth, you can have it for free because it needs new everything.” He shrugged “I was just going to make it scrapped metal”

“Yeah I can fix it up, I got some money lying around.” Hoseok yawned, “anyway thank you so much for getting my suit. I have my first day of work tomorrow, so I should go to bed early”

“Alright, but tomorrow night celebratory drinks for your first day?” Jimin clutched his shoulder. 

“Of course,” Hoseok laughed, waving goodbye and carrying the suit to his apartment. 

“Hey man, how was your day?�� Jimin shouted from his newly acquired van from Yoongi. “Get in, we can celebrate tonight” 

Jimin drove Hoseok home under strict orders to grab a nice change of clothes so the two could get ready at his house and go out celebrating Hoseok’s new job. Hoseok took the stairs two at a time leading to his apartment, his hand brushing past your old door. He missed you. He missed having you at his work, at his home, at his leisure. You two were inseparable and yet torn apart by the stages of life.

Hoseok had assumed you both would be single and somewhere in your mid-thirties you would just get married to one another for convenience. He grabbed some clothes and found the blacklight outfit you had bought for him, he pushed it aside trying to move on for just a moment. 

Instead, he grabbed a classic black button-up and a pair of black dress pants. He placed the items in a bag and headed back down to Jimin waiting excitedly in the driver's seat. He drove them across town singing along to the radio and pulled into the driveway of a beautiful home. Jimin was a sugar baby and so he accumulated a lot of money with ease.

Jimin picked up the package by his doorstep curiously and read the name, his face broke out into a smile. Opening the box he found a beautiful pair of earrings. Hoseok paused, knowing Jimin had been talking about these types of earrings for a long time, but these ones looked handmade and a little cheap, not from a brand-name store like most of Jimin’s other clients would buy.

“They are so cute,” Jimin smiled, lifting the note, reading it aloud. “I don’t have money, so I don’t ask for much, it would just be a waste of your time. Even with this, I still want you to know that I think you are really sweet the way you always help others and never forget to share compliments to those who catch your eye. I will never forget how kind and funny, you are especially at work. The way you run your fingers through your hair unconsciously, how you pout when you think, the way you can glide across the dance floor with drinks without spilling anything. You disappear behind the bar with the cutest laugh and I am completely in love with you.”

“You have an admirer,” Hoseok looked over his shoulder at the letter before asking, “I wonder who it is?”

“I am not sure who it could be?” Jimin frowned, taking the box into a spare room filled with gifts. “They seem really nice”

Once the letter was placed carefully in the room, Jimin stepped out and decided to get dressed for the night. He paused in the doorway walking back and taking the earrings. “Even though they are cheap I think I should at least wear them.”

The two got changed and Jimin posed, “take a picture of me looking over my shoulder, so I can post a picture of the earrings on my Insta”

Hoseok picked up his phone and stepped behind Jimin, ready to take the picture of Jimin’s bare shoulder, earring, and side profile. He stopped when his phone came up with the stupid storage message.

Storage full!

You can free up space on this phone by managing your storage in settings.

“I can’t take a picture,” Hoseok sighed. “My phone storage is full”

“It’s okay, I should put on a bit of makeup to make the picture really pretty. While I do that, use my computer to plug it in and delete stuff. You can save the rest onto a USB, which you will find in the top draw. The USBs should be empty.

Hoseok watched Jimin stroll into the bathroom and thought he might as well take care of this storage issue on the phone. Plugging the device in, Hoseok began going through and deleting memes and stupid screenshots he no longer needed. He went through saving many photos of you, and videos the two of you shared together.

That's when he came across the picture of the two of you dressed in your black light outfits. Both of you looking happy together in the mirror. Hoseok saved the photo to the USB. The next was a blurry picture on the dance floor, he didn’t need that.

Deleting a range of blurred photos, Hoseok kept swiping through them until he came across a video of you and Hoseok walking home. He heard you giggling and unconsciously smiled. He honestly was so in love with you.

There were a few more blurred videos and then there was a video of you two laying in Hoseok’s bed. His heart started to race as he watched you lean down and kiss him in the video. Hoseok couldn’t remember any of this.

The next video was of you removing your dress but it continued, sometimes the phone was just left on the bed face down, at other points, it was lifted and Hoseok heard himself talking as he pointed the camera at you underneath him. “I love you.” He had filmed you while you two were having sex, “I love being inside of you too.”

Hoseok felt a little guilty, while you two were drunk he took a video of you both, not only that but he felt as if he took advantage of you. The next video was taken from behind and Hoseok felt ashamed of himself for the stirring in his pants. 

“Are you watching porn?” Jimin laughed from the next room, confused as Hoseok switched to the next video. The two of you were cuddling on your side, Hoseok being the big spoon. 

Hoseok's face fell. What had he just watched? His head was reeling with so many thoughts that he couldn’t process them fast enough. He understood that it was you in the video, and you were with him. It was that night. Were you his dream girl? “I slept with Y/n?” He blurted and like being hit with a truck he came to a shocking revelation. Hoseok shot to his feet and spoke out loud hoping it would help him make sense of the situation, “Am I, I think, I might be the father?”

“Oh, Finally!” Jimin shouted, his voice carrying into the office. “I have been waiting for you to figure it all out”

“What do you mean?” Hoseok said his stomach was feeling sick, he didn’t know if he wanted to vomit or cry. The betrayal setting in, “How did you know? DID SHE KNOW?”

Jimin stepped into the room, his lips pressed together in a thin line, with a look of pity on his face confirming Hoseok's suspicion. Hoseok got up, his eyes flashing around the room in a panic. He pushed past Jimin and grabbed the old set of keys from the countertop. Hoseok escaped and drove fast. He didn’t have a destination in mind but after a few minutes of driving he ended up at a park by Han River.

Shutting off the engine, Hoseok let his hands fall from the wheel, his head resting back against the seat, letting out a loud guttural shout. He let the tears fall freely as his sobs racked his body, every breath catching in his throat as if he was choking. 

Hoseok wanted to scream, he wanted answers. They all knew. You knew. He thought he was your best friend, someone he trusted with all his secrets, and yet you kept something this big from him. The sick feeling in his stomach grew as did his anger and frustration with the situation.

How long were you going to keep this from him? When the baby was born? When the child was eighteen? Never? He had a right to know but all he wanted to know was why. 

He left the vehicle, his phone ringing with your number but he turned it off. He walked to the nearest bar somewhere dark and quiet and he drank until he couldn’t see his hands. 

“Hey mate you have to go, come on get up.” The bartender said, nudging him with an exaggerated sigh, “Mate can I call someone to come get you?”

“No one, my best friend is a liar, she is pregnant and didn’t even tell me it is my child,” Hoseok mumbled into the table. The bartender sighed again reaching into his pocket, “Who do you want me to call mate?”

“No need to call, I will go,” he said, pulling out his keys only to have them snatched from his hand. Hoseok turned to see Yoongi grabbing Hoseok’s things and thanking the bartender. “What do you want?”

“I got a distressed call from Y/n she is hysterical, I have checked in every bar and searched the nearby streets for Jimin’s old van. Yoongi threw the keys to Jimin who was waiting by the abandoned van and Yoongi scooped Hoseok inside.

Hoseok woke as Yoongi turned the key in the ignition they were headed for his home, but Hoseok had other plans. “You knew didn’t you?” Hoseok growled, “Take me to her."

“Not in this state?” Yoongi said definitely. “You are going to sober up, and then tomorrow you can speak with her.”

“You take me there right now, or I will get out of this car and go there myself!” Hoseok demanded, attempting to remove his seatbelt.

“Alright, alright sit down, I will take you to see her, but if you raise your voice at her I will knock you out and drag you back to your apartment." Yoongi turned to Hoseok with a menacing glare. "Do you understand?”

He nodded needing answers and he wasn't going to stop until you gave them to him. They pulled up outside your home and as he walked to the door he felt as if his legs were weak, ready to give way. He knocked with shaking hands.

He didn’t have to wait long for you to pull open the door eyes pink and swollen from your own tears.

"Hobi, I-" 

"Please don’t talk, you had your chance. This whole time, and you didn’t… You didn’t tell me, little darling.” His voice cracked as he held up a hand to stop you, “it’s my turn to talk, you can listen to me.”

He watched you wipe the tears away, he wanted to comfort you, you were his closest friend. He loved you so much and couldn’t bear to see you upset. “You knew we had sex, you knew what we did and you hid that from me, you fell pregnant and you hid that from me?”

“I told you when I lost my virginity, I told you when I scratched my dad’s car, I told you when I took money from my fathers wallet, or when I stole your homework. I told you when I was moving from home, I told you everything good and bad.” Hoseok pulled out the phone and played the video, the sounds of you two together filling the air. “But you couldn’t tell me, your best friend, that we did this? That I might be the father of this baby?”

“Hobi, I wanted to tell you I was-” Your tears were relentless and it looked like the weight of the world was crushing you with guilt. You looked lost, he knew there must be so much you wanted to say and explain but the words escaped you. All you could think to do was apologize, like some sort of animatronic doll with one function.

“Wanted to tell me isn’t telling me,” he frowned. “Say it, is this baby mine?”

“Yes, you are the father?” You whimpered, holding your stomach. Hoseok didn’t feel better. He didn’t feel better confronting you or getting the truth. He didn’t feel better watching you cry. “I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. You are all I have Hobi, and I love you.”

“I thought I loved you too. I thought I really truly loved you, that even though I wasn’t the father, I would step in if I could. It turns out the woman I fell in love with is nothing but a liar.” Hoseok turned away unable to see your face contort in pain from the words he was saying, “I am disappointed in you. You said you wanted to grow up, but this is so immature”

Demanding to leave, Yoongi took Hoseok and headed to the van once more, hoping that the two of you could rebuild your relationship. It was painfully obvious that you both were painfully in love, so much so, that it was breaking your hearts more to fight with one another, than over whatever the fight was about.

You had spent the rest of the night crying until pure exhaustion took over your body and you fell asleep. No matter how many times you texted or called you got no response. You had left almost fifteen voicemails before you became too hysterical to speak. You were emotional and trying your hardest not to break down long enough for you to think things through. 

It took four days and sitting in the bottom of the shower for ten minutes before you came to a decision. Even before Hoseok knew he was the father, you had planned to do it on your own. You weren't weak and you knew for certain that you would be okay. You had planned to raise this child as a single mother, you had hoped to tell Hoseok before all this happened, but you had planned for it just in case something like this did happen.

You could do this without Hoseok, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt, that you weren't mourning the relationship you had lost. You picked yourself up and put on a brave face crying only when you were alone as you single-handedly funded Ben and Jerry's company with the amount of ice cream you consumed.

You arrived at the next prenatal appointment. You watched all the couples cooing at their bellies and the little sonogram photos, as you sat alone quietly rubbing your belly and thinking how much you loved this child.

It strengthened your bond between you and your baby. You were working hard at your job, not ready to go on maternity leave as you didn’t know how financially stable you would be. You also worried because, without the distractions of work, you realized how alone you truly were and how much you missed Hoseok.

You wanted nothing more than to go back in time and take it all back. You wanted to get the courage and tell him. You would give anything to wake up beside him the morning after and just let yourselves deal with the aftermath.

Your mother's words echoed in your head, only able to be drowned out by the sound of your baby's heartbeat through the doppler, as the ultrasound technician measured your sweet little baby girl.

She had done no wrong and deserved only good things. It was on your way home from the scan that you decided to enter the baby boutique. You knew you were filling a Hoseok shaped void in your chest but you didn’t care, purchasing clothes, socks and shoes, and a tiny beanie all in mint green, white, or grey. At the checkout, you saw a small personal travel doppler for eighty dollars. It wasn’t as strong or as reliable as the one at the clinic but you bought it anyway. 

It was the first thing you did when you got home, you put the gel on your stomach and pressed the doppler to your tummy, and listened to the tiny heartbeat and the swishing of the umbilical cord. The tears didn’t stop and that heartbeat in your belly was the mantra to which you swore to live your new life.

You were no longer living for yourself, you were living for your daughter, whom you loved so dearly. You stopped looking for Hoseok through the seventh and moved into the eighth month of your pregnancy feeling semi-okay.

Called by the marketing director to meet with the client, you followed him with documents, “Why did you pick me?” you asked

“You are the only one fit for this job,” He said, which made you feel odd, surely the pregnant lady wasn’t the first choice. However, you obeyed his orders, grabbed your coat, and followed to the restaurant where you were met with an unbelievable sight. 

There was Hoseok standing by a beautiful woman dressed in a suit. Not only was it a punch to the chest, but it also left you self-conscious, resembling a chocolate egg. The way your body was so rotund did not do wonders for one's self-esteem.

Hoseok didn’t notice you until you stepped up to the table, your director announcing your arrival and greeting the young woman with a kiss on each cheek. “This is my hardest working assistant Miss Y/n,” The director said and you wondered again why he had chosen you to accompany him to the meeting.

“Well let’s get to business” the client smiled. You sat at the table and they brought out menus. “I will have the salmon en papillote, with a nice chardonnay.” 

“I will have the same,” the marketing director said, attempting to look cool but you weren’t so sure.

“We will have the Steak au Poivre, I will take medium rare and she will have hers well done. What is in the side salad?” Hoseok asked and you looked up over the menu shocked by his audacity.

“We use a mesclun mix for its various colors and textures, with Lebanese cucumbers and avocado for a fresh and creamy taste and a drizzle of classic french vinaigrette” the waiter smiled politely. 

“Skip the salads and instead vegetables would be preferable for both.” Hoseok closed the menu and looked up, the waiter looked at you for confirmation and you nodded handing over the menu.

“Have you two met before?” The client asked curiously and Hoseok shook his head, “It’s just you ordered for her?”

“She is pregnant so the best meat option is beef well cooked, and the salad would most likely make her sick due to the acidity in the vinaigrette.” Hoseok continued,  “the vegetables, though plain, will be easier to handle and will benefit her better than a salad. It is something I learned in a birthing class once”

“Yeah, and you haven’t been back since.” You scoffed, drinking your water trying to calm yourself so you didn’t explode with anger.

“I didn’t think I had to, seeing as I am not the father of any children.” He said dryly back and you stood up throwing the napkin at him, tears welling up in your eyes. You didn’t care if he didn’t like you and refused to acknowledge your presence ever again, but saying that about your child was not okay.

“You take that back, Hoseok." You almost shouted but restrained yourself due to the setting, Hoseok didn’t appear to move and you tilted your head back and took a shaky breath. “I am sorry, it seems I am feeling ill, allow me to leave first”

You stepped out the door and headed down the road trying to find a cab when a hand grabbed your arm. Disappointed when it turned out to be the marketing director. “I rescheduled our meeting, I am sorry, you had to deal with something like this, it must be stressful being so pregnant”

He touched your belly and you were a little uncomfortable. This man was a little too interested in your pregnancy. At first, you thought he was just a nice boss who was looking out for you, but it was clear he had some strange thoughts running through his mind.

When he said he would drive you home, you told him you had an appointment. Even then he was determined to take you to the appointment, but you waved down a cab and jumped in quickly. You arrived at Jin and Tonic for a much-needed appointment.

“I want a drink” you sighed and Seokjin gave you water and you looked up seriously. I want an actual drink Jin, I am going through the worst year of my life.”

“Worse than the time you tried to become a volunteer at a homeless center, where some weird lady cut chunks out of your hair, so you had to shave it off?"

"Then you got into a fight with Hoseok because he drew an arrow on your head while you were sleeping and everyone called you Aang,” Jimin added as he shed his small jacket, showing off a pretty choker chain necklace with a rose pendant. “Cause you said that was the worst year of your life.”

“This is worse,” you said. “At least I was the one angry at Hobi and I forgave him quickly, now he is angry at me and even denied being the father of our baby. That’s not even the worst of it. My boss has some sort of pregnancy fetish and keeps trying to touch my belly and I am not here for it”

“Pregnancy fetish?”

“It’s not sexy, I am swollen from the neck down, I couldn’t see my feet this morning. I just hope I wore the same shoes. My bladder is so squished I am peeing all the time, I am hormonal and sweaty, and I can’t fit into my favorite pajamas.” The hysterical sobbing was muffled by the bar and it made Jimin giggle behind his hand. He walked around to give you a hug and Jin presented you with an ice cream sundae in an effort to cheer you up.

“Dance with me, pretty lady,” Yoongi said, finishing his drink and taking your hand. He led you to the dance floor where you were slow dancing like you used to. “You are still as pretty as always. Okay, you may not feel beautiful right now due to all those things, but I promise that you are.”

“Thanks, Yoongi.” You tried to get close enough to hug Yoongi but your belly prevented you from doing so, he stepped behind you and wrapped his arms around you slipping his hands under your belly and swaying. He was trying to take some of the weight to relieve some pressure on your back. “You are amazing,”

“I am, aren't I.” He laughed, swaying you softly.

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[juggey]

ok im kind of out of the loop but. WHAT happened with ryan??

this morning kiwifarms (notoriously second worst place on the internet) posted allegations about adam kovic exchanging nudes with someone catfishing as an underage girl. in this post they linked an entire google drive folder of explicit photos/vids that adam sent from a burner instagram account. the post also mentioned that some of the photos were of ryan.

true: adam sent hundreds of vids/photos to someone who is presumably Not His Wife.  however: there is zero evidence the underage thing is true (i’ll elaborate later in the post) and none of the photos in that album were of ryan.

concurrently, someone on 4chan posted a photo they’d taken of their google drive that showed a screenshot of ryan sexting on instagram. the post was very alt righty (direct quote: roosterteeth the company that recently went ULTRA WOKE and started deleting “offensive” videos). they alleged that he was sending this stuff to underaged fans.

i’ll be honest, i thought the ryan stuff looked really thin. i thought it was weird that they’d taken a physical photo with their phone of their computer screen. i thought it was weird that it was on 4chan from people who defend vic with their life, i thought it was weird he was falsely wrangled into the adam stuff and i thought it was weird that it was one (1) screenshot from instagram that was NOT posted by the person who was receiving the messages.

my friend did some digging after this, and i’ll reblog her sourced post when she puts it together, but this is what she found:

in early september of 2020, one person uploaded all the adam photos that went around this morning + the ryan screenshot + a non public suggestive selfie of what they said was ryan (it was headless). they said they were a catfish. they said nothing about pretending to be underage. i’m inclined to believe the instagram screenshot is real because of this.

so at this point: adam stuff is real, ryan stuff is proooobably real, but there’s literally just one screenshot. 

at about 8 pm tonight on twitter, someone started name searching ryan and replying to “the ryan allegations are obviously fake” with super explicit videos + pictures that were clearly ryan. a lot of them show his face, a lot of them show his streaming room. this is their allegation: “ryan’s been cheating on his wife for years, sending nudes, meeting up with young girls and having sex with them. they will come forward when they’re ready to do so.”

this account later clarified that they did NOT mean underage when they said young, and they have no knowledge of him sending photos to minors. i went through the account. it’s been around since may 2020, and they’ve been tweeting things (unrelated to ryan) since august. this isn’t a burner account created this weekend to fuck over ryan. 

at this point: ryan stuff is like 100% true, and i will not be surprised when more comes out.

update as of 10/5/20 10 am: several people on twitter are backing up the allegations and saying ryan’s been sending explicit stuff to fans for years, since at least 2017. i dm-ed one of them and they allowed me to post our dms and their old photos for proof. link here.

[pupjunie]

txt’s reaction to their s/o falling asleep on facetime... 

yeonjun <3

yeonjun would probably be talking your ear off the whole call so how do you even fall asleep?

but in all seriousness, yeonjun was talking to you about his day, all wrapped up in every detail

he couldn’t forget even one because then it wouldn’t be like you guys spent the day together,, although he knows you didn’t:(

before even thinking about falling asleep you take the moment where he’s distracted to study his pretty face like you had done multiple times but it never got old

you actually found comfort in his dramatic tone as he described his day like a storybook or something

“so then i said to hyuka that he can’t have the last snack because i’m his hyung, it just wouldn’t be right- don’t you agree, y/n?”

at this moment he looked over at you, seeing your camera being positioned right at your sleeping self on your pillow

he leaned forward, picking his phone up with both hands giving you a fond smile

“aw angel, i didn’t even realize you were sleepy... that’s okay, i’ll keep you here until your phone dies... which knowing you is probably soon. i love you.” he added in at the end, like you could hear him, setting his phone down next to him.

soobin <3

soobin always took your calls seriously, and even let you talk about your day first.

currently soobin was snacking, since he had let you in on the fact that he didn’t get to eat lunch that day and you had scolded him to no end, your scolding laced with concern of course

you wrapped up talking about your day and knew you would much rather listen to your boyfriend talk anyway

“but i’m in the middle of eating, y/n,” he fake glared at you making you giggle

you made yourself more comfortable on your pillow, the two of you sitting in comfortable silence for a few moments.

what soobin DIDN’T know was that in that comfortable silence, you had closed your eyes just to rest them but instead had slipped off to sleep

you let out a little snore, causing soobin to look back over at the phone and he had to cover his laugh since he didn’t want to wake you up now, you looked peaceful.

“so selfishhh baby, i didn’t even get to talk about my day,” he rubbed his thumb over the screen fondly at you, debating on taking screenshots but he decided not to... he had plenty others from calls before and he was sure he would have more.

soobin turned his mic off, so he could get ready for bed but still have you on the phone without waking you up. “sleep well, baby.”

beomgyu <3

beomgyu becomes really soft and not quite as loud as he can be at night

he talks in this sweet sweet voice where it sounds like he’s even going to drift off but he never does

he takes this time he gets to talk to you seriously and doesn’t take advantage of it

but he was also dramatic af and just wanted to make you laugh at the ungodly hours you two had your calls at

“y/n,,, i have tragic news, i accidentally deleted my recent selcas even in my recently deleted.”

you had to attempt to hide your laugh because sometimes you didn’t know if beomgyu was being seriously distraught or not but that was the fun part about him

he shot you a teasing smile, confirming he just wanted to make you laugh, “shush, don’t laugh at your poor boyfriend that way.”

after beomgyu talking for a few more minutes in his soft tone, you couldn’t help but start to fall asleep, your eyes fluttering closed.

you didn’t even hide it from beomgyu, he kept talking since it was a common occurence.

once he thought you were asleep for a good few minutes, he whispered trying not to laugh, “night night you baby for falling asleep,” he patted the phone screen with his pointer finger fondly, not wanting to hang up yet though so he left you there, laying down himself in his bed.

taehyun <3

STOP why would taehyun be so cute with you.

he’d be laying on his stomach, his phone being held up by the pillow in front of him.

he would never admit it but the phone calls make him a bit sad that he can’t be there with you but he tries to push it out of his mind

he’s just grateful to talk to you, even this late.

the thing is, it’s like taehyun WANTS you to fall asleep or something

he puts on the most calming music ever in the background, with the softest singing and beats you’ve heard and it’s already lulling you to sleep.

in reality, he just wants even the calls between you to be a safe and comfortable environment and he loves seeing you all calm and stuff:((

“i missed you so much today, i have pictures from earlier today when we were filming i want to send to you,, the view was so cool! i wish you could have seen it, y/n.”

“i saw your favorite flower! i wish i could take it but... disturbing nature,, i knew you would yell at me,” his eyes sparkled a bit as he talked which is just the cutest thing ever.

without a doubt, your eyelids became heavy and you just had to close them since you were all comfy in your own.

taehyun let you fall asleep, he didn’t mind. he likes just being there with you, even if it’s through a phone for now.

hueningkai <3

kai would absolutely adore these calls.

he’d be waiting for them all day, of course being focused on his job but knowing he’d get to talk to you at night made it all even better

“baby, do you want to sleep? you look very tired,” his bottom lip jutted out into the tiniest pout and you wanted to squish his cheeks like no other time before

“aw, no i’m okay, i’m not sleepy!” you said and it seems truthful but hyuka knew better, he saw how you were getting more and more comfortable with each minute passing.

as kai talked about how he saw the cutest dog today, you laid your head on your pillow, his voice being the leading force to make you fall asleep

not in a bad way of course, these times with him at night just felt all calm and soft, how could you help YOURSELF

when kai saw you had fallen asleep, he had a fond look in his eyes but a smirk as he leaned forward to grab his phone

he took multiple screenshots, trying to be discreet as possible and exiting out of the call, but not hanging up.

kai then added all the screenshots to his photo album folder titled, “y/n 🧚‍♀️🦋⭐️”

“goodnight you sleepyhead,” he whispered, not turning his mic off this time as he usually did, letting you sleep in peace.

[moldisgoodforyou]

So I just read directors cut for Brooklyn kissing Rafe and AH so good so insightful on their past relationship. Now I want to know what went through Sophie’s head when she found out and also after they talked and she went on with her day how she felt

alright last one!! 

“Brooklyn kissed me.” He blurted out quickly.

She froze immediately, eyes wide with her lipstick raised halfway to her mouth. “She did what?”

He bit his cheek hard before replying, his heart pounding. “I’m so sorry, Sophie, I didn’t - I should have known, her stupid dinner invite -”

“Rafe, shut the fuck up, why are you apologizing? You didn’t kiss her back.” It wasn’t a question, just a statement of trust, but he almost flinched from the hard edge to her voice.

she was in literal disbelief but also her first thoughts were: 1) where is this bitch and 2) how do I bully her off the face of the planet so she will never be near my rafe again

“Damnit.” She flopped back onto her bed and rolled over onto her stomach to face the camera again. “Next time you’re at dinner, let me know and I’ll text you a picture of my tits or something.” 

she checked his find my friends religiously the next day and took a guess when they were at dinner and sent some topless pics with zero shame and zero warning. she probably should have been more shy about it but said no full send I’m going to stake my claim lmao 

“I know, I know, whatever. What happened, seriously? Why’s she so hung up on you? I mean, I know why, look at you -” she gestured at the phone, making him laugh, “- but for real. Will you tell me?”

He nodded, taking a moment before he spoke. “She, um, cheated on me, but I didn’t find out ‘til after she broke it off. Not until the charity gala, actually. She’d say things like, ‘you’re so needy,’ then would get mad at me if I went to hang out with the boys.” Rafe paused, thinking. “She invited herself to the Bahamas, both times. My dad loved her, that should have told me enough.”

“Oh.” She murmured, frowning. “That’s fucked, Rafe, I’m sorry.”

she immediately made a mental note to never do any of those things, but suddenly it made sense why rafe was so hesitant to seem needy around her

___

after they talked, she was fucking livid still. she went out with her roommates and got drunk and muted brooklyn’s instagram so she didn’t have to see her stuff if she didn’t seek it out, but kept her as a follow so she could stalk if needed. not healthy but whatever. she went through a few old photos that brooklyn had up with rafe still and commented ‘my boyfriend looks so cute!’ until her roommates noticed and deleted them within the hour. (they didn’t stay up but brooklyn still got the notification in the morning.) 

she was a lot more pointed with her photos and stories she posted after that, for the rest of the month - the cartier ring remained on her ring finger and she made sure to have it front and center in any brunch snaps or snaps from them drinking. she took a few screenshots too of facetimes with rafe and was a little too obnoxious in what she posted but didn’t give a fuck. (brooklyn viewed every single one.)

[diegoh4rgreeves]

#SelfiesForCastaneda

Story Summary:  You’ve just finished watching The Umbrella Academy on Netflix. You follow the main cast on Twitter and get a Retweet from David Castaneda on your selfie! This prompts a conversation with you two. You hit it off and set a date.

Chapter: 1/1

Word Count: 2,420

Pairing: David Castaneda x Reader

Warnings: Anxious thoughts

It’s a rainy Friday night. Normally you’d go out with friends or go out to downtown Toronto. Because it was raining and you were exhausted from work though, you decided to veg out and finish watching the Netflix series, The Umbrella Academy. You were comfortable in your warm home, laid down on your plushy couch, with a fuzzy blanket covering you, and you were in your sweatpants and loose white t-shirt.

You forgot about this comfort once you were so stunned by the series finale of The Umbrella Academy. You could not wait for season 2. You also got attached to the characters and you loved Ellen Page and Robert Sheehan more than you already did before; back when you saw the movie Juno, and back when you watched the show Misfits. You thought Emmy Raver-Lampman was so pretty and seemingly sweet in real life. Your bisexual ass could not get over this. You hit the Follow button in Twitter for Ellen, Robert, and Emmy. The character Luther was your least favourite one, though you thought to get to know the actor for him, Tom Hopper, from interviews, and to Follow him on Twitter too. Justin H. Min was so handsome and so vulnerable as Ben. Aidan Gallagher was just a kid and did an amazing job playing an old man trapped in the body of a 12 year old. And last but not least, there was David Castaneda. He is the most handsome one to you. As Diego, he was so resentful. It didn’t make sense to you because all the siblings went through childhood trauma, from the same man who adopted them all. He was also spiteful towards a former lover, Detective Patch (who your gay ass also found attractive. That’s a story for another time). Still, there was something about Diego, or David, that made you feel good things.

You smile as you hit the Follow button on David. You have followed all the main cast of The Umbrella Academy, along with Mary J. Blige, who is just an icon. You also followed Gerard Way, who created the show and was the singer of the brilliant band My Chemical Romance.

You spend the rest of your evening lurking everyone you just followed. It feels good to be in love with something again.

As you lurk David and his Likes, you see a bunch of fan’s selfies he liked. Every selfie has the hashtag #SelfiesForCasataneda You’re intrigued by this. You wonder if he started this hashtag, or if some fans did. You are also pleased that he interacts with fans. He’s still at the level of fame where he can see fans in his notifications over being blinded by the plenty of Likes, Retweets, and Replies he gets.

This motivates you to get off the couch and to take a shower. As you take a shower, you think of an outfit idea for this selfie you’re thinking of posting. You’ll wear all black; the tight black turtleneck you bought a while ago and have worn plenty of times already, the baggy black jacket you’ve copped from your older sister, and black jeans. It was a Diego-esque outfit. You didn’t have to cosplay. You just always dress like this anyway, and you were the most confident in it.

After your shower, you slip into the outfit, put on some concealer, black winged eyeliner, and red lipstick. You snap some shots from the camera on your phone. You try out a bunch of angles. You scoff at some selfies and think there’s no way he’ll Like any of these. Well, he could, since he seemed like a support Liker to fans. You still wanted to dress to impress if he was going to actually see this selfie!

You beam up once you get another idea. You run to your kitchen to pick up 2 kitchen knives. You are aware of how funny this could look. You like to think that you’re a creative person, or so you decide to go the positive route of thinking.

You get the knives and put a self timer on from the camera of your phone. You criss-cross your arms, with a knife in each hand, and take the shot. Your phone took 3 shots, so there’s a chance of a good one. There is a good one indeed. Your face was lighted perfectly in this certain one. There was a glow. Your hair looked great too. You love the shape of your body as well.

You post the photo, and put in the hash tag, #SelfiesForCastaneda You press ‘Tweet’. At this point, you don’t care if no one would Like the selfie. You are just feelin’ your look!

Fortunately, you do get some Likes; a few were David Castaneda fan accounts, one from a supportive mutual, and a few others were from other fans of The Umbrella Academy. You Like everyone else’s most recent tweets and selfies back.

Then there is a Retweet. You beam up and think maybe it’s from one of the Likers. You view the Retweet and it’s from… @DavidCastanedaJ You think it’s another fan account, until you remember following this account earlier, and you notice the blue checkmark next to the username, which indicates that this is an official and verified celebrity account. Your heart is racing. What the fuck! you think. You check his account and think that maybe his support Liking evolved to support Retweeting. There is no other Retweet with the hashtag #SelfiesForCastaneda on his account though.

You leave your phone alone for 2 hours after your tweet gets more Likes and Retweets from other David fans. You even notice some haters in the thread. Luckily there are only a few haters. Everyone else says that your photo is bad-ass.

You’re not usually one for bragging. This is a very cool moment though, so you retweet David’s Retweet of your selfie, and you caption it with, 'Uhmmm… did David Castaneda just retweet my selfie!? Diego frickn Hargreeves!?“

You look at the time on your phone. It’s 1:30am! You’re usually a night owl. Somehow though, you were tired. You did sleep very little before you went to work, and you commuted in the rain. Being cozy and watching Netflix had to contribute to that tiredness as well. So, you snuggle up in your warm bed, which also has a fuzzy blanket, and sleep.

—

10:43am. You wake up naturally and pick up your phone which was laid on top of some pile of clothes you left on your floor beside your bed. You check your Instagram, Facebook, and Tumblr. Finally, you check your Twitter to check on the selfie. You also see an Inbox notification. You wonder who that could be from. People don’t normally message you on Twitter. You open the inbox and in the preview, it’s @DavidCastanedaJ ! You can’t believe it. What could he possibly have to say to you? Your heart is racing.

What if he says that the retweet was an accident? Would he have had to message you that though? He could have deleted the Retweet if it was an accident. You would have understood that he didn’t mean to Retweet one fan’s selfie randomly.

You take a deep breath before opening the message to quit your overthinking and your doubts.

@DavidCastanedaJ: It’s a good selfie. I had to retweet it.

After lurking his Twitter last night, you notice that he’s got a dry and sarcastic tone. You’re unsure of what to respond to him with, or if you should even respond. Well, of course you should respond. He felt compelled to say something to you personally instead of being funny and fishing for Likes. Well, that’s speaking for if he’s not being sarcastic.

You tap your chin and wonder if you should screenshot this to your close friends, especially your sister who got you to watch the show and dealt with you ogling over him. You shake your head out of this and think that it’s best to reply to him ASAP. He sent his text around 6am. You’re not sure why he sent it that early. He’s in Toronto, a city not too far from yours. He’s not shooting a show, as far as you knew. There isn’t even an announcement of a season 2 for The Umbrella Academy yet.

You quit your overthinking again, and decide to reply with this:

[@YourUsername]: A good selfie how? Like, in what sense?

You take another deep breath and chuck your phone on the spot next to you on your bed. You get up from the bed and decide to leave your phone alone and try to think of something productive to do on your day off. Before you can do that, your phone buzzes. You beam up, and rush back over to your bed, which you sit on your knees for.

Twitter Notification: Preview of @DavidCastanedaJ Inbox message

@DavidCastanedaJ: Idk

@DavidCastanedaJ: I like your Diego get-up, and you’re aesthically pleasing

Your heart is skipping beats. What does he mean by aesthetically pleasing!? Is he implying that you’re attractive? Are you even his type in looks? Do you resemble Detective Patch? Are actors attracted to the type of people who play their love interests? Well it was the only reference you have for this emerging and handsome actor.

You’re in your 20s, and he’s 29. You still have a baby face and wonder if he thinks you look younger than you actually are. Why would he retweet your selfie though?

[@YourUsername]: Aesthetically pleasing? This face?

You hold your phone and stare at the thread. Maybe he’s online if he replied to your last text just seconds after it. Much to your surprise, there’s a blue checkmark which indicates that he read it. Maybe he’s just thinking of what to say. Or maybe you’re a suggestive creep! Wait, how could you be if he was the one who retweeted your selfie!? God, you really had to quit that. Stop letting it get to your head!

The thread shows a new bubble, from him.

@DavidCastanedaJ: Haha

@DavidCastanedaJ: Yes, this face

@DavidCastanedaJ: It’s a great face. What’s your secret?

You are now blushing and still manage to type.

[@YourUsername]: I did sleep 9 hours last night. You know what they say about 9 hours of sleep.

@DavidCastanedaJ: Yeah, that’s lucky

You are easing into this now, though you are also wondering if you should be careful, or if you’re just dreaming and didn’t actually wake up earlier than you usually do.

[@YourUsername]: I’m guessing you don’t have that luxury?

@DavidCastanedaJ: Well, maybe now I can sleep that much

@DavidCastanedaJ: Back when we were shooting the Umbrella Academy though, I was a mess!

[@YourUsername]: You seem so healthy

[@YourUsername]: At least with that body, you do…

David seems to like that response. You spend Saturday afternoon texting each other, and it’s still surreal to you that this is happening, much less how you two seem so connected.

—

A few hours later.

@DavidCastanedaJ: So, you said you’re in Toronto, right?

[@YourUsername]: Well, I’m in a city *near* Toronto, about a half hour away

@DavidCastanedaJ: Oh I see

[@YourUsername]: I’m there often anyway. I mostly go see local bands, and take their photos

@DavidCastanedaJ: Right. I remember you saying that earlier

You’re unsure of how this conversation could last at this point. You take a chance with a one-word response anyway.

[@YourUsername]: Yep!

@DavidCastanedaJ: How would you feel about coming to Toronto tonight? I thought maybe we could have dinner, and I could show you real Diego Hargreeves gear…

Your heart is racing again! In fact, you think that you’re going to shit your pants. You decide to have some banter with him to cover up your fangirling.

[@YourUsername]: "Real Diego Hargreeves gear.”

[@YourUsername]: Is that a sexual innuendo?

@DavidCastanedaJ: It is if you want it to be ;)

[@YourUsername]: Omg

@DavidCastanedaJ: I realize that did sound pretty sketchy, so sorry about that

[@YourUsername]: No, it’s totally fine! I was just teasing :)

[@YourUsername]: I would love to come to downtown tonight! When are you free?

@DavidCastanedaJ: Well, seeing as I’ve been texting a very beautiful girl all afternoon, I’d say my schedule is pretty flexible

[@YourUsername]: Really? Are you sure that Gerard Way isn’t barking at you to get back on set for season 2 as we speak?

@DavidCastanedaJ: Ahahah yeah totally

@DavidCastanedaJ: I’d tell him to wait though. I should get to spend my free time with someone cool first

From there, you hash out the details for the plans; what time, and where to meet. You both also decide to get a drink at Brooklynn Bar. You’re not much of a drinker, though for a celebrity like him you made an exception.

You decide to wear “the Diego get-up”, this time you style your hair, wear darker red lipstick, the same black eyeliner, and you sling a small black cross-body bag over your shoulder.

David texts you with his name. Then he tells you to keep him posted on your whereabouts. You make your way to downtown and your meeting spot with him. You eye the area and look for him. You turn to some side, and you see him walking over. Your heart is skipping beats again, and you gasp.

He looks so handsome with his tan peacoat, black jeans, his gelled black hair, and beard and mustache.

He smiles knowingly and walks over to you. He gives you a hug.

You cannot believe that it is actually him. You realise in this moment that you could have been catfished. You weakly hug him back in your disbelief over this moment.

He pulls you in closer and you hug back tighter.

“Oh my God!” you exclaim.

He pulls out the hug and he looks over at you with a toothy smile on his face. “What?”

“It’s you. It’s really you! God, this is so embarrassing. I think that I’m actually starstruck.”

He chuckles. “This is gonna sound weird, but I thought I was being catfished.”

You give him a puzzled look, although you are so flattered. “I thought that I was an annoying type of fan you’re annoyed of attracting!”

“What!?” he laughs. “Okay, we haven’t even had a drink yet and we’re already confusing each other.”

You let out a laugh.

He gestures an arm to the entry door. “Shall we go in?”

“Yeah sure!”

He signals for you to walk in first, and so your date begins. Things can only get better from here.

[jaredhollyheiditruth]

Solicitation of Minors, Part 1 (Chai)

The second issue facing and affecting Jared Knabenbauer (whose name I’m SURE I’ve misspelled elsewhere!) are the accusations against Jared of seeking out minors to “groom” while using his star status and blogs as recruitment tools. While my blog on the Heidi/Jared breakup and fallout was as neutral as I could make it while still addressing the facts, I will be far more aggressive in this post because of the implications herein and the fact that this issue involves serious criminal allegations.

As someone that grew up with a child molester, as someone that was targeted by a rapist, I understand the importance of treating an accuser’s claims seriously.

It is my belief that all accusers should be taken seriously. They should be heard, listened to, and feel valid and safe in making those allegations, and the proper authorities should investigate all claims made to the fullest extent of the law.

However.

The accused has rights, as well, and no accuser is above scrutiny. There is a very bold line between taking an accuser’s claims seriously, and believing them outright without any doubt, question, or expectation of evidence. Our legal system is built upon the Presumption of Innocence, that any accused is presumed innocent of the accusations against them until they are found guilty. It is not Jared Knabenbauer’s responsibility to prove that the allegations against him are false, and his silence is not an indicator of guilt! The first thing a criminal defense lawyer tells you is to keep your mouth shut with regards to any criminal allegations because despite your best intentions, you may inadvertently say things that can be twisted and used against you in court. Sadly, in today’s social media-charged society where people share details about everything from their vacations, to their grocery shopping trips, to the contents of every single meal, being silent is often treated as evidence of guilt.

First, I want to make clear the allegations against Jared. Jared is being accused of swapping nude photos and engaging in sexual conversations with minors. This, in and of itself, is not a crime.

Yes, you read that right.

To elucidate, it is a crime to knowingly transport, ship, receive, distribute, sell, possess, solicit, or access any visual depiction of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct.

In other words, if someone posing as an 18 or 19 year old sends you nude photos of themselves, but they’re only 16 or 17, you’re not guilty of a crime as the law is written, because you have to knowingly receive images of underage children, simple as that. The reason for this is because our legal system is based upon a concept known as Mens Rea, or “guilty mind.” It means that an individual’s intent has to factor into whether or not they deserve punishment for an act they’ve committed.

This is entirely different from the concept of Ignorantia juris non excusat, more commonly phrased as “Ignorance of the law is no excuse.” Ignorantia juris non excusat applies when you are committing a crime but do not realize it’s a crime.

For example, you cannot fire a handgun at a target in your back yard and avoid legal penalties because you didn’t know it was illegal to discharge a firearm in a residential area. The fact of the matter is you did a thing that the law says you can’t do.

Jared’s situation is different, because the law itself requires the accused to know the age of the person they’re interacting with when they do it, otherwise you cannot prove they knowingly interacted with a minor. This is the reason Chris Hansen’s team on To Catch a Predator take care to explicitly make sure their targets see and acknowledge the “age” of the decoy, because they’re unlikely to get a conviction on the basis of “We thought the decoy’s age was obvious!”

Think about it. If the law didn’t require the recipient to know the images contained minors, a person could easily set up a blog with a bunch of “barely legal 18 year olds,” post pictures of 16 year olds, and then anyone that went to the website would be guilty of accessing child porn. Odds are, if you’ve spent any time at all looking at porn on the internet, you’ve probably stumbled across a picture or two of a late-teens minor that either lied about their age or just uploaded a pic from their phone without even caring about the legality of it. Do you think you should be charged with a crime just because you trusted an adult website to fully and carefully screen every single model and some slipped through the cracks?

And, before I go on to the allegations, I’d like to point out that there have been many people that have confirmed that Jared did, indeed, engage in age checking and state multiple times that he didn’t want kids in his blog.

There’s also the fact that people admitted to having to omit or lie about their ages because Jared was known to boot people that were underage.

At one point, a user by the name Brenn recalls a time where they revealed to Jared that several minors had been posting to his blog, and Jared’s response to finding out about that was to nuke the entire blog.

I should note that, when Jared was informed about minors posting to his blog, he only had two possible options if he wanted to avoid violating federal child protection laws.

1. Report the blog to the FBI and implicate the users as distributors of child pornograpy.

2. Delete the entire blog.

He chose the latter option.

Now, with all of that said, let’s look at the allegations. Rather than do this as a timeline, I will address each accuser one at a time. There are only three, so this won’t be hard.

On April 4th, an individual going by the Twitter name Chai sent an email to NormalBoots, a media company specializing in video game-related content with whom Jared worked, along with many other individuals, including Holly Conrad. In this email, which Chai titled “Regarding ProJared’s Sexual Grooming of Minors,” Chai detailed his interactions with Jared, which he further expanded upon with a full-blown statement to Twitter that reads thusly:

However, as is typical with Twitter, people pressed Chai. They wanted to know more. This was when Chai admitted outright that he had absolutely no evidence to back up his claims.

I apologize for the poor quality of these screenshots, but shortly after posting his statements, Chai went to great lengths to bury his statements, though archived samples and screenshots taken by others still exist.

In addition to admitting he had no evidence to support is claim, Chai took time to answer a few other questions:

Now, the fact that Chai has no evidence of his claims is, itself, no reason to immediately dismiss them. Not everyone keeps extensive screenshots of interactions they make online unless they’re planning on savoring or using them later. In fact, as I said before, the authorities should take those claims with absolute seriousness and investigate them, and we the public should be willing to hear Chai’s words openly. However, further digging has resulted in new information that makes Chai’s claims and testimony a bit harder to swallow...

On November 2017, Chai posted an extensive blog entry detailing a head injury he suffered on November 9th, 2015. This would have been just five days after he turned 16, his date of birth having been confirmed by an archived copy of his old Twitter profile, seen here:

In this blog, posted in 2017, Chai describes suffering a head injury during gym class, and the severe, terrifying symptoms he underwent - symptoms I doubt I would be strong enough to endure - in the months and years that followed. The blog itself is very extensive, taking up several pages, and would be cumbersome to quote or paste here in its entirety. However, the entire blog can be found directly via archive by going here:

https://archive.fo/CEpgE

A full-image snapshot of the blog can be found here: https://imgur.com/a/sIJ7FlY

According to Chai’s own blog entry, the sheer misery of his experiences during those first few months must have been excruciating torture.

It’s probably a blessing he claims he has no proper memory of that period of time.

Now, the experience Chai describes suffering from during that period of time is, without a doubt, something I would never wish on anyone, even my worst enemy. However, if you do the math, that means that Chai cannot properly remember anything that took place between November of 2015 and May of 2016. When did he claim to have sent Jared that first nude along with a tagline of “16 no more?” Oh, that’s right...

So, allegedly, the first nude image Chai claims to have sent to Jared, wherein he states that he’s 16, occurred during a period of time that he can’t properly remember, and what memories he has exist as “snapshots.”

However, let’s continue giving Chai the benefit of the doubt. Let’s speculate in his favor for a moment and say that sometime after he wrote this blog, he started to remember things from that period, and somehow, those memories were clear and unaffected by the significant traumatic brain injury he suffered in late 2015. Chai describes the life he was living between late 2015 and August of 2016.

He was in and out of the hospital, sometimes for days at a time.

He was in constant pain at all times, and would suffer from seizures every few minutes that caused incontinence, falls, and fainting spells.

Such severe fatigue that he was sleeping for 16-18 hours per day.

Such severe depression, pain, and spasms that he was effectively bedridden.

Hallucinations, both auditory and verbal.

Hearing voices telling him to kill people, which got louder and louder each day.

Severely bad short term memory and large gaps in long term memory.

Inability co concentrate

Loss of coordination that prevented writing.

Slurred speech and psychosis.

He states that in August of 2016, he was “somewhat better” and was able to stay awake for 8-10 hours per day, but that the psychosis (that is, the violent thoughts) was getting worse, to the point he told his mother that he’d kill her if she didn’t take him to the hospital. He spent several days in the hospital before having a massive headache that temporarily crippled him, and explains that after this headache, the voices had miraculously disappeared entirely, as had the spasms and headaches. From there, he explains that his life got better and his symptoms rapidly healed over the ensuing year or two that followed.

Now, I don’t tell that story to humiliate or embarrass Chai. If anything, anyone that had lived through these events deserves nothing short of praise for their strength. I tell this story because, when you think about it...something doesn’t add up. Regarding that blog, there are two possibilities:

1. That the blog is truthful, and contains a description that best fits Chai’s recollection of the events surrounding a very unfortunate and painful accident. If this is the case, it means Chai is a strong individual that survived pure hell and came out the other side with a smile.

2. That the blog is a lie, which would imply that Chai invented the entire ordeal in order to garner sympathy from those that read it.

Now, we can’t access medical logs or contact any hospitals due to patient privacy rights, nor would we have any right to pry into Chai’s private life, which is why I’ve limited my digging only to information that has been submitted to the internet by those it concerns. However, no matter which of these two scenarios is the truth, Chai’s testimony hits a brick wall.

If it is true, then it means Chai’s memories of most of the year 2016 cannot be considered reliable. By his own admission, he is only able to recall bits and pieces of events that took place during that time. Furthermore, I think we can all agree that if you were living that sort of life, it would be overwhelmingly difficult to find the mood and motivation to go online and start trading nudes and engaging in sex talk with someone, to say nothing of the difficulty of finding time to do that and study while you’re only awake 6-8 hours per day and spending much of that in and out of the hospital, and even if he did manage it, we can’t rationally place much (if any) faith in the integrity of his recollection of just how those interactions with Jared went, especially in the absence of any corroborating evidence what-so-ever.

If it is false, it means that the story - either in part or in whole - has been falsified for the purpose of garnering sympathy for Chai from those that would read the blog. While this act alone could simply be considered deplorable for the level of deception involved, it would also establish that Chai has a pattern of lying to the public in order to get them to feel sorry for him, meaning it’s not ethical to believe his claims without some evidence to corroborate them.

Either way, the blog does say one thing for certain: Chai’s claims about his encounter with Jared, based on the timeline of his cognitive injuries and the fact that he cannot provide a single shred of evidence to corroborate them, cannot reasonably be accepted as reliable, because either he wasn’t in any condition to participate in nude-swapping and sexting, or he’s remembering events that might not have happened, or he’s lying about the entire thing. We can’t prove which of these possibilities, if any, is the truth, but there’s far too much there to simply dismiss outright.

Update: Direct references to Chai’s surname have been removed from this blog at the request of third parties not directly related to these incidents.

[5sosbitchfest]

Why Crusty is the Legit Worst: A Masterpost

So I mentioned a while ago in an ask that I could make an entire masterpost dedicated to why Crusty is the legit worst... and here it is. This is going to be a very long post, so bear with me.

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?

1. The racist/fatphobic/xenophobic tweets

Much before 5sos was involved, Crusty was one of those wannabe LA influencer/model people who tweeted shit like this:

Now, apparently she’s claimed that these tweets were faked and never apologized for them, but then again, when does she ever sincerely apologize? Oh wait, never. So, were these tweets faked or not? Well...

There are responses to the tweets on the left. Here are the responses to the top left one:

Jac Vanek was one of Crusty’s old friends. They’ve been photographed and tagged in the same photos together. So, sure, people could have found out they were friends and faked the tweet/response to the tweet. However, 1. how and why would anybody go that far, and 2. if you look closely, the screenshot with the other deleted tweets and the screenshot with the response look like they were on different phones (the emoji, font, spacing between the letters/lines). Two different phones, eh? It’s almost like the tweet was real and could be seen on multiple platforms! Wow!

In addition, the tweet was sent out on February 8, 2013. Here’s another response to the supposed fake tweet:

Same date, eh? And only less than an hour later! Who would go through so much trouble to fake the tweet, the responses, and even get it down to the dates that the responses were sent out?

Back to the first screenshot of all of her tweets:

The bottom left one had some responses too! Here they are:

Same date, a couple minutes later. Seriously, who would take the time to fake the responses down to the dates and times? It’s almost like... the tweet was real! *gasps*

Now, this response could possibly be one to the bottom right tweet:

The only reason why I’m unsure of this one is because the time the response was sent out was three hours prior to the actual tweet, not to mention the month of the tweet isn’t really distinguishable in the screenshot. Even so, the response looks pretty nasty, and I’m sure it was to an equally nasty tweet from Crusty.

Now, I can’t find proof of the top right tweet being fake or real, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was, considering she has no problem saying “sleazy foreigners.” Of course, obviously, these tweets were deleted, which brings me to my next point.

2. She deletes tweets whenever she gets backlash, doesn’t apologize, and plays the victim card.

So back in September, she had a pretty epic Twitter meltdown (which is still up, she didn’t delete it), where she basically guilt tripped her entire audience, whether they “hated” on her or not.

Uhhh... sure. I agree that you never know what someone is going through, but 1. these “trolls” you see are usually fans with valid opinions and reasons as to why they don’t like you, 2. the constant use of ‘do you want to do this’ or ‘do you want to be that’ is playing the victim card so hard and blaming literally anyone who reads the tweet, making them feel guilty, otherwise known as guilt tripping. Y’know, something that emotional manipulators/abusers do? Yeah, that, and 3. she just HAS to make the whole thing about her. Notice how she says “your words affect me” and puts "and any other person you’re bullying” in parentheses. Notice how she says “you don’t know if I’m depressed, going through trauma, etc.” Notice how she says “do you actually want to inflict pain, hurt, tears, & hate onto me & others?” She tried so hard to be inclusive... and failed. The whole thing is about her, and she just kinda threw in some other terms to make it seem like some kind of positive message for everyone, when in reality, it’s just her being a whiny brat.

Not to mention she just threw Messy into the mix and shaded Arz. Which, lol. Arz was literally her PR client. It’s actually very likely that she was the one who put Arz and Luke together. Hm.

There was the time she pissed off a bunch of Kpop fans when she tweeted this and automatically tried to patch it up:

She probably saw how pissed people got and tried to fix it and make it seem like it was just a joke. Even still, people saw it as being quite fishy, and rightfully so. After all, it probably wasn’t a joke. And then shortly after, like a few weeks or something, she posted a link to a BLACKPINK song or something saying how good the song was. Ooookay.

Then we have the magazine fiasco:

Basically people were angry because a magazine cover came out that featured mostly Luke and the other boys were kinda off to the side. Colliscool is some weirdly famous 5sos fan who is another wannabe LA influencer chick, and of course Crusty is kissing her ass because it makes her look nice. Anyway, if complaining about a magazine cover is “standing up for what you believe in,” what about actually important issues, like racism or homophobia or poverty? It’s a fucking magazine cover. And while it’s hard to hear, Luke is the lead singer, so it only stands to reason why he would be the main feature, tbh. But once Crusty compared fans to Trump, she received backlash, deleted these tweets, and never spoke of it again.

Let’s not forget how a few days later, the whitewashed photo of Calum came out, and people were angrier about that and thought it more important than the magazine cover (which I agree with), and Crusty didn’t say anything on the matter. People were pissed that she complained about the magazine cover and not the whitewashed photo of Calum, but those fans gotta understand that unless it involves Michael, she doesn’t give a shit. I mean, with the past xenophobic/racist tweets... her not saying anything makes sense.

Then there’s the more recent ordeal with Cardi B:

She really thought her backlash was about Mac Miller not winning. And when a fan tried to explain why Cardi B is problematic, she went ahead and played the victim card again. For comparison, here’s how Debby Ryan, Josh Dun’s fiancee, responded:

Not only did she acknowledge her lack of knowledge, she handled the situation by engaging with the people who were educating her, asking them for more information, and thanking them for educating her. Meanwhile, you have Crusty, who’s all like “WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW I’M ONLY HUMAN” and... yes, Crusty, we’re all fucking human, but not all of us are assholes. She likes to tweet, delete, and yeet, as I like to put it.

And I’m going to put this out there for people who might try to argue with me: yes, I spent a good hour scrolling through her twitter to try to find any ounce of proof that she’s a decent person. I did find some rt’s and threads of her talking about mental health and racism (she was talking about the movie the blackkklansman and how it’s revolutionary or something along the lines of that), and she took part in that whole campaign last year to get young people to vote. Here’s the thing: yeah, those are good causes. But it’s really easy to seem like a good person online. It’s so easy to say things and not mean them. Also, just because someone may have liberal viewpoints or morals doesn’t necessarily make them a good person, especially if they don’t outwardly show it, which brings me to my next point.

3. She’s an asshole to fans.

That’s kind of a well-known fact, at least, to the people who can see past her bullshit. She will literally enter group chats with fans, get the twitter names of people who talk bad about her, and block them on her and Michael’s accounts. But of course, because she’s interacting with the fans, she’s seen as a saint because she’s just so sweet!!! And whenever people don’t see that, well, they get blocked. She checks her indirects, obviously, so if you so much as mention her name in a negative way, she and “Michael” will block you. Which is so fucked.

Remember when she was rude to some fans in Bali a few years back? If not, here’s the video. When people saw the video, of course she played the victim card again:

Oh yes, because coming up with a bunch of excuses, mentioning the fact that you’re “crying in lax,” and using a thousand emojis really expresses how guilty you feel. Kiss my entire ass.

But that wasn’t the end of that! When Crusty went to Bali earlier this year, she met up with the very fan she was rude to after she sent the fan this DM:

And of course, the girl fell for her bullshit because she got to meet Michael. She just had to make herself look like such a sweetheart before the big engagement! And sadly, it worked, the fan was happy, and Crusty was seen as a saint once again:

She’s even a bitch from southy’s account:

Like... what that person said wasn’t even that bad. Them breaking up is a perfectly plausible situation (if they were actually dating, lol), and yet Crusty literally cussed them out for bringing that up. Oof yikes.

4. The nature of her “relationship” with Michael.

Their first public interaction on Twtiter was back in 2014, when Michael was 18.

This was right before Michael turned 19, so Crusty was 29-30ish (?) at this time (who the fuck knows, I’ll get to that later). It’s not exactly known if she was 5sos’ PR manager, but she was ATL’s, and since 5sos and ATL had worked together, it wouldn’t be surprising if she actually was/is 5sos’ PR manager.

So before Michael, Crusty had been dating a guy named Spencer. Crikey’s timeline starts in January of 2016, where Michael posted this photo of them:

They were “dating” at that time, but neither of them went public until January 2017. However, Crusty continued to consistently interact with her ex Spencer on ig, all the way from January 2016 to May/June 2016, and it started to slow down after that, though she still liked some of his posts here and there. There was even an instance where Spencer sent her flowers in April, which... why would your ex send you flowers???

My belief is that Crusty was still with Spencer at the time she started “dating” Michael, technically cheating on him, and I have an idea in my mind that he probably got sick of it and finally decided to drop her. Which, good for him. After all, she left to be with someone eleven years younger than her just to gain money and fame. Yikes. And apparently there were rumors of her sleeping with Jack from ATL (when she was still with Spencer) when she was their PR manager... she liked to fuck her way to the top and didn’t give a shit about cheating on her boyfriend, I guess.

Now, I know the age gap is a heavily-debated topic, but here’s my stance on it: if the younger party is a full grown adult (I’m talking late twenties/early-mid thirties) when they start dating a person several years older than them, then sure, whatever. They’re basically full-fledged adults who are capable of taking care of themselves and have matured enough to a point where they can make rational decisions for themselves. Michael was twenty years old when he started “dating” Crusty in 2016. People make the argument of “he’s a mature adult he can do whatever he wants!!!” Um... in legal terms, yes, Michael is an “adult,” but twenty is nowhere near the age of maturity. I’m 19, and I know several people around that age, younger and older, who can’t make rational decisions to save their lives. Early adulthood is still a time for growing and figuring things out, and just because Michael is a famous musician doesn’t mean he isn’t still figuring things out. Also... do people know how Michael acted when he was 20? Watch him in interviews, I dare you to call him mature. I’m sure he’s mature in some aspects, but overall, he’s still a young adult who is still in a stage of developing maturity-wise.

So what does this have to do with Crusty? Well, with Michael being 20 when they started “dating,” that would make her 31. A 31-year-old woman dumping/cheating on her boyfriend (who was actually within her age range) to chase after a barely-legal dork from a decently famous pop punk group. Doesn’t that sound sketchy? In my eyes, she took advantage of everything in that situation: the fact she was a PR manager, the fact that Michael was young and naive, the notion that she would get more money and notoriety, and that Modest was probably in need of a beard, well... I’m sure she didn’t hesitate. For her, it’s a win-win-win situation. Just look at her! It doesn’t even look like she has to work that hard anymore, like she’s gone full LA influencer who gets sponsors up the wazoo and gets paid to be a beard. Her fucking dog is a walking advertisement (just look at southy’s ig page, it’s pretty much all sponsors). And no, I’m not saying she doesn’t work, but it seems like social media has taken up most of her life. And she barely even uses it for good/actually important issues. So there’s that.

Fun tidbit: she’s been working in the whole PR/entertainment realm since 2002. Michael was 7. Let that sink in.

Anyway, yeah, my point is that her “relationship” with Michael is pretty creepy. If the roles were reversed, that the younger was female and older was male, people would see it as creepy rather than “they’re both mature adults who can make their own decisions!!” 1. No, that’s a huge double standard, and 2. any time an older person goes after someone who is several years younger, regardless of sex, will always be sketchy in my (and a lot of other people’s) eyes.

5. She is a massive hypocrite in pretty much every way.

Oh, the positivity and sunshine her stans claim she spreads is more like a nasty downpour of hypocrisy and bullshit. Let’s start with this whole ‘spreading positivity’ thing she’s all about.

Crusty stans always say she’s all about spreading positivity and loving yourself and fuck the haters and blah blah blah. I already showed an example above of how she guilt tripped the fuck out of her audience, whether they support her or not. It wasn’t her trying to prove a point, it was straight up guilt tripping, especially because of how much she inserted herself into such situations. She could’ve worded it much differently that shed light rather than guilt.

And this whole being positive/loving yourself thing... well, that brings me to the age thing.

No one seems to know how old Crusty is. 34 is the mostly-agreed upon age, so let’s roll with that. It’s no secret she gets treatments, I mean, just look at this post:

She literally admits to it. And unfortunately I can’t find screenshots of her raving about the intravenous vitamin treatments among other things, but I do remember seeing them (if anyone has them, let us know!)

And it’s been shown she loves to use photoshop (not just on herself either). I mean, how could you go from this:

to this:

She doesn’t even look like the same person! If anything, it looks like she’s gotten younger instead of older... oh wait.

And she always does that pouty-lip thing, and I have a friend who says she thinks she sees lip fillers, which wouldn’t be that surprising. I mean, just look at this old picture of her:

Yeah, keep telling yourself that those lips are all natural.

Seriously... in pretty much every photo of her on her ig, she’s jutting her bottom lip out like it’s some duck face selfie from like, 2011. Please.

And her ass, well.

Here’s what we see:

And here’s some reality:

Bruh even Luke has a bigger ass than she does.

She posted a video on her twitter of her in the first picture saying something like “to all the people who think it’s photoshopped,” but y’know, it’s like... videos can be edited. Camera angles and poses can make an ass look bigger. Okay sis.

Fun fact: she deleted that picture of her by the pool, probably because people were making fun of how she literally had her bathing suit stuck in her ass. I mean, that’s what she gets for trying to make it look like she has one when she doesn’t.

Aaaaand here’s the heavy hitter:

When my friend saw this photo, she said that if she didn’t know Crusty was Michael’s girlfriend, she would’ve thought she was his mom. Y I K E S.

You can see the age literally everywhere. Her entire face, neck, and even the skin on her elbow in the second pic (it’s one of the first things I noticed tbh). And this was literally back in Bali 2019. You know, not even four months ago? Like damn, the sun really did her dirty lol. These pics are why me and many others question her actual age. She seriously looks like she could be in her forties in these photos, which, if she is, then her “relationship” with Michael gets even more fucked up.

Oh and she doesn’t just photoshop herself. You have this monstrosity:

Like what the fuck? Who are they trying to fool here????

And then this:

That’s a really... interesting ear.

So yeah, what part of Crusty’s face/body/everything is real? Not much! So, if she’s all about positivity, loving yourself, embracing your flaws and "fuck the haters" and whatnot, why can’t she practice what she preaches? You’re getting older, get the fuck over it and start acting like it, maybe start accepting it and stop getting treatments that will probably eventually backfire (like in the Bali pic).

Moving on from her looks, her entire attitude is just extremely hypocritical. I saw how she tries to preach online about mental health and how important it is to take care of yourself, and then she does shit like this:

So you’re just going to make fun of someone who’s struggled with severe drug addiction and eating disorder like that? She’s said on her twitter that her father was an addict, yet she’s going to make fun of someone who struggled with the same issue?

She’s considered a role model because she speaks out about this kind of stuff, including feminism, but let’s examine this a bit. This is her pinned tweet, and has been for a while:

Good message, yeah? Oh, but then she interacts with disgusting trash like Musty Collins:

Musty Collins, who puts on this whole sad boi~ act and then name drops 5sos to prey on underage girls. If Crusty’s so keen on empowering women, WHY DOES SHE INTERACT WITH A LITERAL PEDOPHILE WHO PREYS ON YOUNG GIRLS. Literally two of the most emotionally manipulative people in the world of 5sos. I guess that’s how they get along so well. They should just get together, but they wouldn’t because they’re too old for each other.

And of course it circles back to her fatphobic tweets. So much for empowering women.

Considering that spreading positivity is what she’s known for (besides being with Michael, yikes), it surprises me that she say something like this that goes against her entire spiel:

Uhh... sis, you are a fake ass public figure trying to get people to like you by saying random regurgitated greeting card BS online. Her ig stories are always screenshots of positive~ messages that are usually found on pinterest or some shit (not shading pinterest, don’t worry lol). That’s some greeting card BS regurgitation right there. Basically what this comment is saying is that she’ll only be nice to people who she thinks worthy of being nice to. A “realist” my ass. I’ve already gone over how “real” she is.

And then you have these ridiculous tweets:

“People are people no matter who they love or how old they are” “When did I say I was all about positive vibes?” Alright then.

I love how these tweets just SHOW how much of a hypocrite she is. Her entire “relationship” with Michael is shown through photos. Literally any time there’s a camera, she will take advantage of it and come up with an excuse to show off her relationship. Where’s the “human connection” you’re going on about? Oh wait, it’s not there, because their relationship isn’t real. Oops.

The second tweet.... just oof. She’s just tweeting about herself lmao.

I love how her excuse for her fucking up is just “I’M A HUMAN BEING WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!!” Girl, in case you haven’t noticed, we are ALL human beings, just not all of us are assholes when we fuck up. And then she goes on about how “we are all just human beings and we should all love each other!!” Yeah, it all comes back full circle, one of hypocrisy.

And this isn’t really a reason why Crusty is the worst, just some tweets I saw that kinda made me laugh:

“Luke who?” Oh I don’t know, the guy that your fiance’s actually in love with? HA. She wishes she could be Luke. It’s hilarious how jealous she is of him, how, whenever Lemon content comes out or the spotlight falls on Luke somehow, Crusty has to post about her and Michael’s relationship/engagement to get the attention back on her. Let’s be real, she’ll never be as gorgeous as Luke is, and Michael will never love her like he loves Luke.

So, in conclusion, Crusty is just a fake lying hypocrite. No amount of “this was in the past!! she’s changed!!” excuses will ever change my mind. After all, a lot of things in this masterpost were fairly recent. She might not tweet those horrible things anymore, but her old self shines through sometimes in the form of “I’M HUMAN I MAKE MISTAKES!!!” If she’s really changed, why doesn’t she show it?It’s because she really hasn’t, she’s just gotten better at controlling her social media presence. And that, my friends, is why Crusty is the legit Worst™.

[scrapeyour-knee]

Kinda crazy that I want to set the first half of my planner on fire!! I know there will come a time when it won't hurt to see his name or to think about those memories but for now......... Yeah. Luckily I got a new phone right before we broke up so I don't have any photos in my gallery BUT I know at some point I'll need to go through my Google Photos and do a mass delete of screenshots and pictures and just.................

It really really really just hurts because I didn't doubt him at all. He said he wasn't going anywhere and I believed it. It's hard to not just feel like the biggest idiot in the entire world because of that... But I felt it so much. I wasn't setting aside logic, I just loved him and couldn't see things going THE EXACT WAY THEY WENT lmao god.

So like I'm trying to not dwell and to move on, because no matter what I felt, that's not the reality. I fucked around with an old fling for a few weeks and it was fun but it's already fizzled. I'm generally happy with myself and so proud of what I've accomplished since the breakup, so I'm in a great place to start actually looking around and dating.

But I know I'm probably not gonna find someone like him again and it...............sucks. it makes me think about how he told me the exact same thing (that he couldn't and hadn't found another person like me) and then I wonder if he's trying to date, too. Which then makes me angry as fuck because DUDE HAS NO BUSINESS LOL he needs to work on so much shit before he makes someone else fall in love with him.

Anyway!! Sorry for this long rant. I realized I still have a surprisingly large # of followers on here (question: why) so I decided to ruin your day with some rambling personal garbage!!! Enjoy

[thexduchess-blog1]

Reflections.

Unattached

The whole unattached thing. As a general rule, with play-partners, FwB and fuckbuddys, I don’t get attached. It gets messy, boundaries are crossed and people catch feelings and it’s just, ugh. No.

There’s a thing I’ve been meaning to do, and that’s reflect on last years, and last weeks explosive, Krakatoa level eruptions that essentially convinced me that everyone is a lying cunt, and I can never properly trust anyone ever again because holy fuck, this is a belter.

Without going into ridiculously specific detail that would identify the piece of shit scumbag wanker, as much as I want to, I won’t.

Around 10/11 years ago I became friends with a guy, and at first we just fooled around but it eventually developed into a pretty serious and committed D/s relationship. Life got in the way occasionally but we always came back together and fell right back into place with each other. We saw each other 3 times a week, went away together, attended events together, and holy fuck the sex was amazing, but so were the lazy mornings, sending pictures to each other at work, goodnight phone calls and late nights getting high under the stars. We explored a lot together, found our limits and what we liked, and things we REALLY liked xD we found our roles and I still identify with those roles. He was my first Daddy, first ‘real’ Dom, I was his first baby, his sub. We helped each other through a hell of a lot. No, we weren’t exclusive, but there were periods where we were. For 10 years.

Last year, I got an email from a girl asking if I knew him. I messaged him and asked him who she was, and he confessed that that was his girlfriend. They’d been together the whole time, she was pregnant with his kid and he’d been lying the whole time, to me and her.

I had no idea she existed. Turns out he was a fucking brilliant liar.

She had caught him flirting with a girl at work, and went through his phone. Boom, all the emails, texts, pictures and phone calls between us. Photos of us together, intimate photos, explicit texts with times and dates. There was no escaping the fact he was lying. Obviously, I stopped it right then and there, explained everything to her, that I had no idea she existed, sent her screenshots of messages where he says he isn’t with anyone else, the whole shebang. I deleted and blocked every avenue of communication, apologised to her a million times.

And I shut down. Not only did I shut down, I vowed never to open up or trust anyone, I decided the best way to deal with it was to take copious amounts of cocaine & speed, various benzos and drink way, way too much over the course of about 6 weeks, self harming and starving myself out of fear, guilt and heartbreak. I was fighting, causing trouble and generally ruining my life, as I slept with all the wrong people and made all the wrong decisions. If I wasn’t in the pub, I was probably sleeping with someone, but no doubt I’d be back in the pub later.

Thing is I was still going to work through the day, owning the business allows you certain privileges, like being left the fuck alone. It wasn’t immediately obvious that I was destroying myself until my foreman came back from annual leave. He’s the same age as me, a really good friend, he’s picked me up, literally more than once. I probably don’t deserve his loyalty and kindness. He came into the office once the other boys had left, shut the door behind him and emptied my handbag across the desk in between us. Strips of pills, bags of powder and over an ounce of green came tumbling out, with grinder, mirror and old store card too.

I fought like fuck to get them back but I didn’t have a Catholic’s chance in Fountain against him. He burned everything except the green. Not before he locked me in my own office going fucking mental.

However, like the legend he is, he picked me up. I was at his sweating everything out and howling at the fucking moon because everything i’d blocked out with pills and powder came flooding in at once and I genuinely thought I was going to die if I cried anymore. I cried until I was sick and breathless, my body ached and my mind felt like it was being electrocuted. But Jai never left me. He put up with the anger, the hurt, the tears and the brief periods of laughter. He stayed with me while I ate, he held me as I shook in my sleep, he listened to every rant and sobbing monologue. I don’t think I’d have lasted much longer if he hadn’t pulled me out that hole. Either my mind or my body was going to snap under the pressure. He encouraged me to talk about what happened, and be explicit in how I felt.

I hadn’t done anything wrong. I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have entertained him if I knew. This wasn’t my fault. But I still felt guilty that he’d cheated on her, ashamed that I was partly responsible for the apparent breakdown of a relationship, I was embarrassed when I thought about how intimate we were, empty that suddenly a huge part of my life had disappeared over night, broken and desperately sad that I didn’t have that connection anymore. And that was okay.

It fucking hurt. But it wasn’t my fault.

Eventually I got a grip, gave myself a shake and with Jai holding my hand I got up off the floor and opened the curtains again. Life continued on and slowly returned to normal. I quit playing within the kink community for a while, unable to trust anyone enough to submit or obey or whatever, I focused on work and keeping myself relatively sober.

Recently, my confidence is coming back. I’ve lost a bit of weight, my tits look amazing, my nails are finally growing, I look good in jersey dresses again, lol.

I came back to fet, I went to a social last month and met a couple old friends, M & I are seeing each other regularly again and life is generally ok.

But then I got an email last week. From Him. The Ex.

“...we’ve finished, can we talk?”

He told a convincing story about being separated since she found out, they’d moved into different houses, shared custody of the kid, he’d moved workplaces etc

I went out to meet him and we went to dinner. I didn’t drink. I asked him why he lied. He gave me an excuse that didn’t even nearly explain it, but was along the lines of wanting the best of both worlds. He apparently convinced me enough that he wasn’t with her anymore, even though I prodded and poked and asked a thousand questions to make sure I wasn’t being fucking lied to again. We went back to his place, sat outside and smoked, he told me how he felt, I told him how I felt. We ended up laughing and ended up in bed. Everything fell back into place, but I made it clear there was no attachment anymore, this was a one off and it wasn’t me forgiving him. To be honest, he’s a good ride. Sue me.

Except in the early hours, I noticed the faux fur of a hooded jacket poking out the cupboard under the stairs. I flipped out. I rang Leigh to pick me up and, while checking my emails in the morning, got hit with even more shit, so I went straight to my old dealers and bought far too much coke, alcohol and green.

I locked myself in my room, sent his girlfriend an email telling her everything, including screenshots of his email, put my phone on silent, and got smashed.

I embarrassed myself and other people, I nearly fucked up something I don’t want to fuck up, I pushed my body to the limit in a matter of hours because I knew I was going to feel everything again.

Jai to the rescue. Obviously I wasn’t at work, he knew I’d gone out for dinner the night before and put 2+2 together. Whisked away to safety again, and I sobered up pretty quickly.

As before, he forced me to face the things I was feeling and be honest about them. Then told me to clear things up with people and apologise, which I did.

Last time, I said I’d never trust or open myself to anyone, but sometimes things happen that make you realise it’s not that you can’t trust anyone, you just can’t trust them. I know that might be pretty obvious to a normal person but I’m not neurotypical.

I know I need to take the steps to be more social again, to be confident and know my worth, but in all honesty my confidence has been shattered.

I’m still me. I guess I’ve still got the same humour, I’m still cynical and pretty much a cunt, i’m still sugar sweet & sour as fuck, but I just don’t have that confidence anymore. Sure, I have moments, as you can tell. I still edit out imperfections though.

It’s funny how when the person who gave you that body confidence leaves, they take it with them.

I’m a little more shy, a little less likely to start a conversation, a hell of a lot more anxious, but I’m working on it. I’ve a little self esteem growing.

I can trust people, and if I’ve told you I trust you, know wholeheartedly that I do because you make me feel comfortable.

I just don’t get attached, simply because I don’t want hurt.

I’m sure someone will ease that fear eventually, and I’m looking forward to finding someone I can see a future D/s dynamic. Maybe they’re already lurking in my peripheral. I’m gonna stay positive. Life was shit for a while there, but it seems to be picking up a bit.

I am not defined by his actions.

I know my worth, and I’m worth more than being a dirty little secret.

[myvideosscripts-blog]

ONISION'S ACCUSATIONS DEBUNKED + RECEIPTS

Hello everyone, and before you make a comment on the sound, consider not doing that and reading the description box first and I am aware that my videos are low quality. Please understand that this is what I do in my spare time, it's not my job and I don't have the kind of time Greg has to dedicate to my channels, I actually take care of my family. Thank you and remember to reach out on my social medias down below if you wish, just give me a little request! Let's begin (and if you already know everyone involved please just skip to the time stamp where I debunk Greg's accusations against Madison and Ayalla: 10:30

Greg has struck again. I have a few videos on the back burner because this dude just wants to dig himself a hole so deep, he's about to go straight through the earth's crust and hit the mantle. The video we are debunking today is Greg's attempt to smear those who are coming forward with accusations about how absolutely trash he is.

Before we dissect and debunk his video I think we should take a look at the history of each party involved. For the sake of continuity, I'll be referring to Kai (formerly known as Lainey and Taylor, and I think even Eli at one point) as Lainey and I will be using they/their pronouns. I also want to address comments I made about Lainey changing their mind on... everything, because they do. That's no excuse for me to question their gender and I deeply apologize for that. There's no excuse for that and I won't attempt to make one.

We'll start with the largest figure in all of this. Onision, also known as Greg and more recently "character" but because nothing out of his mouth is blatantly fact, nor opinion, nor joke, we'll refer to him by his biological given name, Greg. Remember how I said in my last Greg video regarding the allegations that he is both technical and metaphorical when it suits his narrative. Keep that in mind throughout this video. It's very important.

To keep things as brief as possible while also hitting the main points, Greg has always been problematic on youtube. These days he chalks it up to being a jokester and everyone else just not getting it. Sure, Greg. He has a history with younger girls and publicizing his relationships, and exploiting his "personal experiences" and those involved, whilst getting upset if the other party does the same, these are facts. Forums like lolcow and kiwifarms and Greg himself have documented this. Greg has also exploited his own drama, claiming to want to squash things to garner sympathy from his audiences and the skeptics among us. He has ALLEGEDLY rated inappropriate photos of underage girls on his forum... I'll be using that word, allegedly quite a bit in this video. He has allegedly coerced women into having sex with him. He has allegedly harassed women via text, phone call, twitter, video - women whom are either easy targets, like Eugenia Cooney who I've voiced my opinion on, Jaclyn Glenn whom is staying neutral and/or not voicing her opinion on the current situation (as of right now), Shiloh who was "too much to handle" but also was so underage at the time that he ALLEGEDLY drove her across the country so that he could legally consummate their relationship. Speaking of which, according to this 2017 twitter interaction, Greg seemingly replies to Billie saying "I'm not a liar or a criminal. I'd take 1 person like me over 100 like you any day. You got dumped, again, you can leave now." To which Ayalla, another big part of this, replies, "this coming from the man who told Billie to shave her head and get a tattoo that says, "I'm a liar" to prove herself". Thanks to tumblr I found the following screenshots. Shiloh said on her blogspot that shaving off the rest of her hair caused her to become depressed and that her femaleness had been stripped from her completely. In the next screenshot (which looks like a wiki article) it reads: "On June 30th, 2011, Shiloh uploaded a video titled "BALD!!!" to one of her channels to announce her newly full shaved head. Throughout the rest of their relationship she dyed her short hair different colors and wore wigs. This did not cause controversy until later when Shiloh revealed more of her side of the relationship on her tumblr. She claims that Greg forced her to shave her head and told her, "I want you to shave your head cause you're a good bitch." She says he took her into the bathroom and shaved her head. She says she felt ugly and de-feminized because of it. Could it be a coincidence? Sure, suuure. There are a plethora of details I could go into to make this an hour long video to absolute kill my computer, but rather than doing that, just comment with anything you'd like me to cover and I'll do my best to do that. Until then, explore the rabbit hole that the internet has to offer about this.

Next, let's explore Lainey. Lainey has been at the center of quite a few controversies mostly due to their proximity to Greg. Lainey is 24 years old and claims that Greg and them started dating February 7th 2012, however the article on their wikia page, states that they were married in November 2011, so that's a little conflicting. That would mean they married Greg when they were around 16 years old and Greg was 25. When they met, Lainey had a striking resemblance to Shane Dawson, a particular obsession of Greg's, however that could be attributed to Lainey's scene/emo phase... and not any pressure from Greg to look like a guy he kissed and has since made numerous accusations about. Lainey specificly said in a livestream with Sarah that they were Sarah's guardian, which makes this entire situation a little messed up. I can speculate the Lainey Sarah relationship, but I'll save that for another time. The last thing I'll mention is that Lainey has made numerous tweets using slurs that I won't repeat.

There's an interesting timeline on reddit regarding Greg and Lainey, which I'll leave in the description if you want to dive a little deeper into those two. And though Lainey is an adult therefore fully accountable, I have a little more sympathy for them, despite their seemingly blind loyalty towards Greg. Lainey is complicit in everything that has happened in the house of horrors. At 24 years old, that needs to change or you need to be ok with the drama channels calling you out.

Next in this is Sarah, who was a long-time fan of Lainey. I need to correct myself in saying that Sarah was actually 14 when she and Lainey interacted, but was 16 years old upon meeting in person, which strikes me as odd, especially given that Greg has used the age of consent technicality before and how 16 years old is the age of consent in Washington. It's a little odd to me. Sarah was allegedly having... home trouble when she joined the household. There's been a lot of vague alluding to... well... abuse, it seems. Despite the fact that Sarah might be mature for her age, she still was only 14 years old when they interacted vs Lainey's 20 years old, a 6 year age gap. There's been a bit of drama with her online, like confusion about her mental disorder (borderline, not bipolar - apparently those two still get confused). Sarah used to confide in Lane, and frequently ask her to delete texts. During a livestream with Sarah and Lainey, when the first grooming accusations came out a couple years ago, Lane watched the broadcast and both Sarah and Lainey allegedly "freaked out" on Lane. For the record, Lane had no direct contact with Greg and Lainey, and there was nothing beyond brief twitter interactions between Lane and Lainey.

Next we have Madison who was strictly friends with Greg and Lainey, and states to have only ever had platonic feelings for the both of them. But given that Greg has accused her of inappropriate conversation and over-staying her welcome at Greg's house of horrors, and Greg's history with rejection... the following information is not so surprising, but keep in mind we're seeing things from a very limited scope. Madison and Greg were friends for just a few years shy of a decade when she found out she was blocked, to her it was out of nowhere. But there could have been discussions between Greg and Lainey about how one or the other felt uncomfortable, and since Greg is a manipulator, he may have even told Lainey half-truths about Madison, and their interactions. The only reasonable explanation for being blocked was that she had made a video explaining to her audience that Greg's DDlg video was done preemptively on his part with cruel intentions behind it, and/or misleading her to make the uncomfortable video. She clearly states, and I've never seen him actually deny it, that Greg brought up the idea of doing his usual diaper bs, and she could actually explain and give context behind the kink (although if kink isn't the correct term in this case, please let me know in the comments). There's also been some controversy with her making a statement against Greg, retracting the statement and apologizing for it, and lashing out at RSN for inciting drama.

The last player in this situation is Ayalla, easily the most consistent and honest out of everyone here. Ayalla is a musician here on youtube who was introduced to Lainey and Greg through Billie and Social Repose - the former is her best friend and the latter being her now ex. Her previous experiences with Greg and Lainey have not been positive - having resorted to posting a cease and desist against Greg when he wouldn't stop posting about her, which makes one of his recent videos all the more... ugh gross.

With all that said, we're going to thoroughly debunk this video made alleging that Ayalla and Madison are creeps. Bear in mind, he is attempting to discredit them after these allegations came out to sway his audience and any skeptics watching that they are not credible sources.

It starts off saying "the truth will set you free", which probably should say "the truth will send greg to jail or at the very least to the authorities possibly resulting in having to register as a sex offender, so why not make a video making allegations against those brave enough to speak out against greg and lainey's inappropriate and immoral behaviour (if not blatantly illegal... allegedly)"

The next slide is a screengrab of Madison with the caption "Onision ended his friendship with this girl for repeatedly trying to be in a relationship with him and his spouse despite him having no interest in her, cheating on her boyfriend with his boss at Fred Meyer and going behind Onision's back to trash talk him all while pretending to be his friend". I haven't seen the deleted tweets that Madison made with regards to her and Greg's friendship ending and I can't find them (though if you have access of them, feel free to leave a comment of the link below or DM me on instagram or twitter, all links are in my bio). Madison has gone on stream herself to debunk this, and Lainey has also made statements about this situation. The statement that has absolutely zero proof is that Madison tried to be in a relationship with either of them, and she has vehemently denied those claims. Greg mentions that his zero interest has to do with the cheating and gives details, but Madison herself has stated that her now fiance is her daughter's father. Bringing up specific details like that, repeatedly, is a diversion tactic so that his viewer will hopefully not think twice to ask for the evidence. Whether or not she cheated on anyone is irrelevant in this video.

Next, it reads: "Not long after Onision cut ties with her she decided to connect with a girl who cheated on Onision and gather dirt from the very same girl Onision dumped for cheating on him." The amount of exes Greg claims to have, also who he claims cheated on him, is such a large number that Madison could walk down the street and bump into anyone who he says he dated. She's allowed to befriend others, especially given that she was hurt by the random ending of said friendship. And if Madison had made them feel uncomfortable, either of them could have voiced that instead of coming up with this elaborate story of all the terrible things she did while never taking responsibility for their own actions. Greg is incapable of doing that, but Lainey gives half-hearted, almost disingenous apologies for any of their wrong-doing.

Next the slide reads, "Onision and his ex started dating legally, consentually, however this girl lied to everyone and told everyone that Onision had dated her when she was younger than the age she was. And here are the receipts." Notice how Greg is not naming this person at all. The receipts he shows, are between him and Madison and this seems to be about the clip of her and BillytheFridge about Greg's alleged interactions with underage girls. Greg is blue, Madison is white. I'll do my best Greg voice for you all.

It's dated Saturday December 29, 2018, just last month. Greg says "Unfortunately we're going to have to sue you for slander. Best of luck to you." Madison replies, "Okay. I will press charges for this then." And Greg replies, "For?" The next message is a screenshot or document that says Washington Wiretapping Laws, and I'll provide the larger image which states that Washington is a two-party consent state. In his next message he says, "Like I said, there is no recording of your voice without consent." He sends a separate message a minute later saying, "We are going to have to sue you however, as there is a recording of you publicly slandering me." She never outright slandered him, she questioned his motives and stated some simple facts.

Madison responds, "You stated out loud, verbally to me that you were presently recording me. If you deleted it then great. But you verbally stated to me on the phone call you were recording me." Directly after, and her message was cut off in the screenshot, she says, "Be my guest. I don't have a fn dime. So you won't get anything out of it but paying for your own legal fees. And what I said wasn't untrue." Greg replied, "You were informed on the phone that you were wrong about Shiloh's age. You need to publicly state that." He never actually denies verbally telling her he was recording her, he just says that there isn't a recording. As for Shiloh's age... when they started recording videos together, Greg was 24-25 and Shiloh was 17, there's been speculation that Greg was talking to Shiloh while he was still married to Skye. There's a lot of conflicting information regarding when Lainey and Greg got together. I remember reading somewhere that Lainey was 15 when they first started talking, there are texts between the two that state they were 16 when Greg asked them about being his soulmate. In 2012 they were already married.

Moving on, he says, "You also implied I was a pedophile, you need to retract that statement as well. Otherwise we have to sue. It is our only option." I do find it interesting that just a couple days after the stream where she had made the comments, and RSN made the video with all of the clips, Greg texts her. I can definitely see where it looks like Madison has inside information on Greg. The general consensus is that she's afraid of Greg and that's why she retracted her statement, flippantly saying it was a poor choice of words, however I believe if she does have information about him and underage girls, she should join the other brave people who have come forward and say something. With the recent wetland situation, which fines are up to 10s of thousands of dollars, and given that Greg complains about his finances, and he even stated that he was using the money from his bogus gofundme for a forum (rather than paying himself, if he's so financially stable), it's safe to assume that Greg does not have the money to pay a lawyer and court fees in order to sue anyone. Don't be afraid to tell the truth. Stand by your convictions.

Madison replies to his message saying "I'll speak to Shiloh and I'll say what ends up being the truth. If I was wrong I will happily state that. I already publicly retracted the statement regarding you being a pedophile. Multiple times. But have you retracted yours regarding Shane? No. Have you retracted your comments regarding me being a sexual predator toward you or your family? No. You have not."

Greg responds "Please watch the documentary I made on Shane. It proves your wrong. Also I never called you a sexual predator. You are wrong about that as well." In this text we're seeing technical Greg. He implied many times that Madison made his family feel uncomfortable, that she overstayed her welcome, etc. Though I think it's a jump to use the word sexual predator, I can understand why Madison would feel that way. Technically he didn't call her that. His Shane Dawson "documentary" had no clear point, but even if she wasn't refering to that, Greg has made a lot of statements against Shane Dawson.

Madison replies, "You want me to dig out the texts you decided to publicly tweet about me?" I think those are deleted now by the way, but with Greg's audience, it doesn't matter if they're deleted, the damage is done.

Greg's reply is, "ALso why would you be in contact with a self-admitted pathological liar (my ex of over 7 years ago)? Do you not see how weird and inappropriate that is? I broke up with her for cheating on me, then I end your and my friendship/refuse to work with you, and this is what you do?" He makes a few more messages, but this one speaks volumes because it looks as though he is trying to make her out to be the bad person when he's been accused of something. Classic deflecting Greg.

The next three texts say, "Like I said, I never called you what you say I did. However I do have proof you slandered me, heavily. Retract, completely or we sue. And you need to retract it on the same place you accused me. On both the Drunken Peasants and wherever else you wrongly acused me." That was at 1:28pm. At 4:11pm Madison's response to him is cut off which says "Do not contact me again." So if there's anything in between those messages, Greg hasn't show us.

Greg reponds to her, "Expect to hear from my lawyer."

Madison says, "I retracted the statement you requested me to retract. Do not contact me again." But that's not good enough for Greg, and this next text of his shows us the controlling nature behind this "man". He says, "Unless you completely retracted your implication that I was ever with a 16 year old and also retracted your implication that you believe I am a pedophile on both The Drunken Peasants & Twitter (as well as anywhere else you said it) I will still be pursuing you legally, making an example out of people" (and it cuts off, but we can assume what it says). The words Greg chooses to use speaks volumes. Unless you do this, I'm gonna do that - whereas she already retracted what she needed to saying that it was a poor choice of words. Her opinion is not something that she legally needs to change. She can believe he's a pedo all she wants. We can believe that shady stuff goes on in the House of Horrors all we want. You can't sue someone for having an belief or opinion.

Next slide is where he highlights the message from her and uses the caption, "She made a public false claim about Onision, and admits it was false. Yet the damage is done. People continue to believe her lies, despite the fact she admitted she did not tell the truth." Once again, the use of his words speaks volumes. He always stresses the words honest and truth. As for the damage being done, the same can be said about his implications and accusations against Shane Dawson. Shane actually has the money and the means to sue Greg for the malicious things Greg has said about Shane. But it only counts if Greg is in that position, right?

The next slide is what Greg probably thinks is an unflattering photo of Ayalla. You could google a better image of her, but Greg uses this tactic that we see so often in the news and media of using unflattering images of people to paint them in a negative light. The caption reads, "This is the ex girlfriend of Social Repose. Onision defended her when she was being blackmailed by Social Repose. She is also the friend of Onision's ex girlfriend, who Onision dumped repeatedly for lying, cheating, and illegal drug use." Greg once again attempts to put himself on a pedestal by saying he defended someone, whilst also victimizing himself claiming that Billie lied, cheated, and participated in illegal activity. Which is interesting given that by all accounts, Greg himself is a criminal. In true Onision fashion, let's go over the definition of criminal: Criminal. noun. 1. a personal who has committed a crime. Destroying wetlands is a crime. Also, Greg is a cheater as well, considering he continued his relationship, or at least attempted to, with Billie, the person he refers to in this, while Lainey was taking care of their kids.

Next he says, "This girl claims that Sarah, a girl Onision and Laineybot first met in person when she was 16 and were only friends (and remained just friends even after she turned 18) "groomed" the girl." He conveniently left out the fact that Lainey was in contact with Sarah when she was as young as 14 years old. Lainey was 21 at the time. If it was a cis-man in contact with a 14 year old girl, it would be considered disgusting and creepy, so how about we toss out the double standards and call it like it is.

Moving on, in the next slide Greg mentions everything he did for Ayalla as though that has any bearing in the situation... especially since it was years ago. Notice that this is one of Greg's favorite tactics making him seem like a caring, good guy. It reads, "This girl spent about a week total around Onision, free housing, free meals, collaborating in videos, free plane ticket paid for by Onision, and knows for a fact we never did not do anything inappropriate with Sarah. In fact she knows very well that I (Onision) was often mean to Sarah. Which I have since apologized for."

What strikes me as odd is that Greg, the literary guy, says "we never did not do anything inappropriate" Freudian slip or just a rush in editing? What also strikes me as odd is that he says, in fact she knows I treated Sarah like crap, as though that makes any of this better.

Next slide reads, "In fact the only reason this girl was even around Kai and Onision is because Onision's ex begged Onision to bring her, despite Onision preferring not to take care of another adult's expenses." This is a world of crap right here. For starters, Greg can't stay consistent and switches from referring to Lainey as Lainey and as Kai. He also fails to include Lainey in the relationship.... Lainey was the one who initially pursued Billie and the intent was for those two to have the relationship, to which Greg sorta invited himself into and whether by spousal pressure or insecurity, Lainey allowed for a very short time. It's clear with how many failed poly relationships that this marriage should not be poly but rather just open. As for the begging, I believe this was debunked already. Billie did not beg for Ayalla to be there but asked. However by using the term beg, Greg attempts to make Billie and Ayalla look as though they had stepped on his toes. He could have said no, but he didn't. That's on him.

Next slide reads, "Onision's ex indicated that this girl was the reason why previous relationships did not work out because her ex-boyfriends did not like her." That has absolutely no fact behind it, we're literally supposed to take Greg's word for it. This is Greg attempting to pit Billie and Ayalla against each other. Notice how he uses "indicated" instead of "stated".

Next, "Other than her previous boyfriend who allegedly cheated on her with Shannon (the youtuber) according to Onision's ex at the time they were dating." This is one of the few times Greg mentions a person's name, and he uses the word allegedly. Allegedly to cover his own ass. I'm sure this is to deflect and create drama between other people. Remember when it comes to Onision, he loves to deflect from his own issues and stir up stuff between other people... allegedly.

Next is where it gets real with allegations. Greg states in this slide, "While this girl lies about Sarah being groomed, she leaves out the fact that she asked Sarah if Sarah would have sex with her in just the short week she was around Onision, Sarah, and Kai. So you can understand why I regret ever flying her out. She is a liar and a pervert." Meanwhile Ayalla ain't stressing because she knows that's not true. Greg asked Sarah to make a video saying that there was no sexual intercourse between them and Sarah, but doesn't ask her to make a video with these allegations? Is Sarah even aware that he's using her as a pawn in his twisted game? Furthermore, the evidence is stacking against Onision and Lainey about the grooming allegations. Whereas there's nothing remotely substantial to back up the claims of Ayalla asking Sarah to sleep with her, besides Greg's statement. Not even from Sarah herself, this is coming from Greg.

Next, "Remember how the first girl asked Onision to stop contacting her right after she realized she was wrong and retracted her slanderous statement? People often do this when they realize they have lost the argument. They have nothing left to defend themselves with, because the truth is not on their side." Wrong on so many counts. Let's bring the texts up again, part of them are cut off. Madison retracted her statement multiple times already, but Greg really wanted it in text. She did not lose anything. People often tell others to not contact them when they are tired of being harassed and/or don't want contact with that person. Since he continued to threaten her with being sued via text - rather than actually following through with it - he did not respect her statement. Greg does not understand what the truth is, given how biased this video is. Next slide he says here are the receipts (spoiler alert they aren't actually receipts, just screenshots, in which he proves that he doesn't respect the wishes of anyone telling them to stop contacting them):

We can assume he has tried to call her and she texts him: "Anything you have to say to me you may say in writing. I don't know what you could possibly discuss with me." Straight to the point.

Greg's response: "It's ok. Our lawyer will contact you." Again bringing up the lawyers that he allegedly doesn't have the money to pay for.

Ayalla responds: Looking forward to it.

And rather than ending it there, he texts her at length the next day: "Sarah very clearly asked you to not talk about her/to leave her alone. Why are you harassing Sarah? Can you please stop causing problems in her life?" I'm gonna stop to say, there's no evidence or screenshots of harassment. The fact that Ayalla slipped up and used Sarah's name in a stream is very clearly just a mistake. Anyone who had tuned into the livestream was there because of the allegations against Onision and Laineybot with Sarah. I understand her not wanting to be named, and Ayalla did her best, it was clearly not malicious. "Additionally Sarah has made it clear you hit on her when you were at our house. You even asked her if she would be willing to sleep with you, and these are Sarah's words." Unless Sarah comes forward to accuse Ayalla, it bears absolutely zero truth. Given what both Lane and Ayalla have had to say about Sarah and what Sarah has said about her possible future relationship with Lainey, I cannot believe Greg.

"I keep hearing about the things you are saying and you admitted you have brain damage acording to Sarah who watched your live stream." Having brain damage does not equate to memory damage, it could be that she has trouble with finding the correct words, and needing extra time to find the correct words. Classic Greg trying to discredit someone with more evidence than he could provide.

"Please get help for your issues and leave Sarah, who has asked you to not discuss her in any way, alone." And this is the Greg who has shown a little bit of concern and empathy lately, but by Greg's own admission, it's easy to fake. "You are harassing her and she just wants to live her life." Again, no evidence of harassment. You got receipts on that, Greg?

"Lastly, you will be receiving a cease and desist soon." Except he continues not just in this same text, but in another.

"You told me long ago to move on, and I did, yet here you are, trying to get back in all of our lives. Please take your own advice, leave Sarah alone and be happy with your own life. Thank you and get well soon." For starters, I feel as though if Ayalla wanted to actually be in their lives, she would reach out to them personally instead of speaking out against them. Secondly, Greg attempts to put himself on this pedestal by showing us his fake concern by telling her he wishes her well.

"Additionally Sarah confirmed most everything you're saying about her is a lie. I'm going to assume you are saying these things as a result of the brain damage you mentioned. I do hope you get well soon." Again, Greg tries to discredit Ayalla and claims that Sarah has confirmed Ayalla being a liar, without providing a lick of evidence. She can't confirm anything, all she can do is say, "uh yeah, false." And I understand why Sarah would say none of this is true, if she's attempting to stay in Greg and Lainey's lives, and maybe she thinks she's the exception because she's just so mature for her age, but she's still young and fully capable of being manipulated by Greg.

Ayalla replies, "I have asked you repeatedly to stop contacting me Greg. You may paint me however you wish but I know the truth and you can't hide from it anymore." Again, short and to the point.

Greg says, "Then why does everyone involved, both Sarah and Kai, claim you are lying? You, a person who was only around for one week, who also hit on/asked Sarah to sleep with you?" Ok, before we continue, I want to mention that if Sarah truly was 16 at the time and Ayalla was 18 or 19, it would have been legal. I'm going to read this for all of you, so that you may get a better understanding of why Greg is wrong on so many counts:

The Washington Age of Consent is 16 years old. In the United States, the age of consent is the minimum age at which an individual is considered legally old enough to consent to participation in sexual activity. Individuals aged 15 or younger in Washington are not legally able to consent to sexual activity, and such activity may result in prosecution for statutory rape.

Washington statutory rape law is violated when a person has consensual sexual intercourse with an individual under age 16. The age of consent is raised to 18 when the partners are a foster parent and foster child, when the older partner is at least 60 months older than their 16 or 17 year old partner and abuses their significant relationship(as defined by RCW 9A.44.010) to have sexual intercourse, or when the partners are teacher and student(this law was actually interpreted by the Washington State Supreme Court to extend to students up to 21 years old).

I don't personally believe that Ayalla would say that considering she was in a relationship with Social Repose at the time, but even if that was the case, it would have been legal for her to ask, or even act on it. It would have been completely illegal for Sarah to have sexual relations with Lainey if she were 16 because of Lainey's guardianship, which they spoke about in a stream. Now that Sarah is 18 years old, it would be legal. Morally questionable, but legal.

Continuing, Ayalla responds, "Your lies will get you nowhere." Greg says, "That's Sarah saying this." Either she is using his phone to which she would probably not refer to herself in the third person the way Greg does. Also, she never states that Ayalla asked her that, or remotely hit on her. Ayalla responds, "Please stop contacting me." Greg does not respect this and continues, because he has a fundamental lack of respect for all women. That's nothing new though.

"Stop talking about Sarah, publicly humiliating her. None of us are saying anything bad about you publicly, you are the one who needs to stop. Sarah asked you, I'm defending her right to privacy. You need to move in with your life, finally." Sarah is an adult now, at 18 years old, so she will be treated as such. No one can defend her using harassment.

Ayalla simply says, "Do not contact me again." Take a shot every time she has to say that. Don't do that, you'll get alcohol poisoning.

Once again, Greg disregard her wishes and says, "All right! Just please don't ask people like Sarah to sleep with you and then years later claim others were as perverted as you are." Oh, Greg. You're doin too much. He literally says, don't ask people like Sarah to sleep with you... what? People who you want to possess or...?

"Best of luck to you and reviving from your brain damage. Seriously, wish you will. Cease and desist is being sent soon and legal action will be taken against you if you continue to humiliate and harass Sarah." Again with the brain damage to which Greg doesn't even know the extent of. Why bother mentioning cease and desist if you already said that if not to use it as a scare tactic? And he also says he'll pursue legal action if she continues to humiliate and harass Sarah... which there's no evidence of anyway, so clearly he's not going to.

Greg being Greg doesn't even end it there, "Heal, get well and find a better use of your time than harassing victims of your sexual harassment (Sarah was 16 at the time you asked her if she would sleep with you) - Get help and become a better person. Goodbye." Was Greg a cheerleader when he was younger because I can almost hear him chanting, "Be aggressive, passive aggressive." Again, no evidence and big if, but if it were true it would not be illegal for Ayalla to ask Sarah to sleep with her.

And of course, in all caps, Ayalla says "STOP CONTACTING ME".

In the next slide, he says "Sarah asked this girl to stop talking about her, directly, and in response this girl tweeted "the plot thickens" - Ok, for starters, Ayalla could have been talking to multiple people about this situation and found out more. Your attempt at correlating is not a direct causation.

"Then proceeded to live streaming, exploiting Sarah for personal gain despite her asking for her to not speak of her. She then uploaded a youtube version of her live stream, where she made hundreds of dollars on her channel, which prior got barely any views." He doesn't know how much she made, and since it is her channel she is allowed to do what she wants. Also, Ayalla has 50k subs, so I'm sure she gets more than just barely any views.

Next slide, "In response to this liar/pervert who asled a 16 year old girl if she wanted to sleep with her making false claims about Kai, the now adult Sarah made the following public statement." Again, harping on the accusation, making it seem like it's illegal. The now adult Sarah did not address anything other than what Greg allegedly asked her to address... something no one was even accusing them of. Grooming has been speculated and there's more evidence of that than anything.

Over this video, Greg has made captions, which read, "Sarah asked this girl to stop talking about her/stop srpeading lies, yet she continued. This video was made as a public plea to discontinue the lies. The girl simply refuses to stop harassing Sarah"

Let me repeat. The accusations were about the inappropriate nature of Lainey and Sarah's relationship and grooming.

"The ex girlfriend of Social Repose" keyword ex and they are no longer associated with each other. "the friend of a girl who was dumped repeatedly for lying, cheating, breaking the law" Greg's way of being a hypocrite. "The girl with nearly no views on her youtube channel" actually about as much if not more than Greg, so... "who was asked by multiple parties to not try and exploit their lives with lies," which she didn't do. "the girl who has everything to gain off lying to the public through revenge and monetary gain for her friend being dumped" why does he keep bringing up Billie... the dude doth project too much if you ask me. "The girl who also asked a 16 year old Sarah to sleep with her (and Sarah backs up this claim)" Sarah just said she didn't want others speaking for her, so she herself can accuse Ayalla publicly, and even then, it's not illegal - whereas anything between Sarah and her former guardian was entirely illegal.

"The girl who also, with Onision's ex, Onision's ex tried to convince a 16 year old Sarah to starve herself like she did, to become part of her eating disorder" that is so grammatically incorrect I can't properly address it, but again, Sarah's an adult now she can address it herself. "and the friend of Onision's ex who offered Sarah illegal drugs, as a 16 year old" no evidence, Greg, "who tried to get Sarah to move in with them as well..." and honestly if the latter is true, I'd assume it had something to do with being concerned about Sarah's wellbeing... you know, like how Lainey took her in for Sarah's wellbeing.

"Again, all facts backed up by Sarah's claims." If you're going to use the term facts, back it up with evidence. Claims are not evidence. "Sarah, a person who is does not have Youtube channel and does not try to turn drama into money" except when she livestreams about the drama?

The next slide is of Madison again where he harps about how desperate she was to date Greg and Lainey. "And this girl, someone who tried to get in a relationship with Onision and Kai and was repeatedly rejected." EVIDENCE. "A girl who cheated on her boyfriend with his boss, who was drunk while slandering Onision, someone who went out of her way to connect with Onision's ex of over 7 years." Hang on though, it's not really that hard to get in contact with another person... like you type some words... sorta how it wouldn't really be that hard for Greg to look up laws about age of consent laws and the EPAs stance on wetlands.

"A girl who lost her friendship with Onision for going behind his back while still trying to be his friend, dishonest." Sure Jan.

Next slide he completely contradicts what he had texted to Madison, "And admitted she was wrong about Onision, issued a public retraction of what she said about Onision." So it's almost like he manipulated her into the retraction to specifically discredit her in this video. Hmm... interesting.

Next slide is of both Ayalla and Madison. The above heading reads, "You trust these two people, one of which admitted she lied.. and the other asked a 16 year old girl if she wanted to have sex with her..." Under the photo of Madison it says "Lied about Onision publicly and later admitted it/retracted." She didn't lie though... she admitted it was a poor choice of words but not that it was a lie. And under Ayalla, it saus "Asked a 16 year old girl if she wanted to have sex with her and offered the 16 year old drugs illegally" do i need to harp on the legalities like Greg harps on his ex, who was initially just supposed to be dating Lainey until he forced his way into the relationship. Was that a poor choice of words? Allegedly.

In the next slide there's a picture of Lainey with what looks like Greg's mom and he has a caption pointing the picture, "And this is the person you think is guilty? THIS is the person you guys are demonizing and trying to ruin the life of? Over what?" Then a caption pointing to a picture of Ayalla reading, "This girl's attempt at five seconds of fame?"

This is Greg's poor attempt at mimicking what the news and media does by using a flattering picture of Lainey and an unflattering one of Ayalla, because he thinks this sweet picture of his mom and Lainey will make us change our minds when there's a lot of shady stuff online that doesn't paint Lainey as this innocent party.

In the next slide, he lines up a well done photo of Lainey, a well done selfie of Sarah, and a photo of Ayalla midspeech, basically just repeating what he had already claimed.

Then he dedicates a slide just to the word and and an elipses, followed by a slide, again harping on Madison, which says that Madison "claims she publicly retracted her statements about Onision" except using the phrase claim is incorrect because she factually retracted her statement by saying, I REPEAT, it was a poor choice of words. Next to an image of Greg and Lainey, with the caption "if very happy he is no longer friends with a liar like her." She may flip flop, but at least the chick corrects herself.

Long story short... is the next slide. Followed by a slide of both Sarah and Ayalla but with the word pervert over Ayalla's photo... The caption says the same shit he's been claiming in this video. The next slide of Madison is pointless really and pretty much his attempt at being gracefully petty, but falls short because it's Greg.

Next, Greg says in true narcissistic fashion - oh no, there I go diagnosing a narcissist without any credentials, just my diploma from Google University - he says "To everyone else, I forgive you for being wrong... But now you have no excuse to continue being wrong."

Then Greg asks everyone to go to twitter and apologize to Lainey, and to comment an apology to Sarah on that video... because he needs the engagement that badly I guess.

And in his next slide he alleges, "We are still pursuing legal action against this girl, who has yet to retract her statements and will be pursued in court with three separate witness and other evidence that remains private." I love that he claims he has evidence and conveniently states that it's private after previously saying that he's taking Sarah's word for it and Sarah is the one making all of the claims. I repeat, claims.

TL;DW: Greg is trying to manipulate his audience into believe that he and his spouse are not predators by attempting to discredit one person who has come forward, and another person who made a passing statement in a livestream and apologized saying it was a poor choice of words.

If you've had any interaction that you find odd or questionable or has made you feel uncomfortable, don't hesitate to reach out. My twitter and instagram require requests and you can reach out to me, but I am not the only one willing to listen. Ayalla has made a tweet saying her DMs are open, and if there are any other youtubers, streamers, etc who are open to listening, please feel free to comment and I will the comment a heart.

I'll catch you guys in my next video.

[southeastasianists]

Hate speech isn’t a new phenomenon in Myanmar. But it has intensified with the advent of social media, smartphones and affordable SIM cards.

“I’ve been called a k****-lover [and] had my address, my ID card, ethnicity, native city, religion and address leaked,” said youth activist Khin Sandar, describing her experiences on the receiving end of hate speech on Facebook. She’s had to deal with the panic of reporting daily posts of abuse on the site that insult her religion, disclose her personal identity and threaten her safety.

Memes calling Muslims rats or dogs, or using the word k**** – a common racist slur against Muslims and Indians – are just some of the examples of hate speech that continue to be shared on Facebook, despite the scrutiny of activists and promises by the platform. Personal attacks like those Khin Sandar experiences are still slipping by Facebook’s monitoring team, several sources have confirmed to Southeast Asia Globe.

Facebook defines hate speech in its Community Standards as “a direct attack on people based on protected characteristics – race, ethnicity, national origin, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, sex, gender, gender identity, and serious disability or disease.” But, while its standards are clear, its detection of breaches falls short, say critics.

The other major problem is that social media is a new information delivery technology with a steep learning curve. In Myanmar, Facebook is so dominant that it’s seen as the internet itself, said one activist. Most Myanmar people use Facebook as a search browser and their primary news source. Internet literacy is extremely low in the country, as a new generation leapfrogs from a time under the military regime when only the elite could afford to buy a SIM card that cost up to an astounding $1,500, to a new generation of smartphone users who can now buy SIMs for just $2 each.

Myanmar is not alone. As one Sri Lankan analyst told the Guardian, while Sri Lanka enjoys high literacy, it suffers from a lack of information literacy: “It means the population can read and write but tends to immediately believe and uncritically respond to that which they see on social media.”

At a peace march in Yangon in May, around 300 activists held signs with doves on them as they called for an end to all military skirmishes in the country between government forces and ethnic minorities like the Kachin in northern Myanmar. The demonstration was shut down after some civilian Buddhist nationalists showed up and started attacking protesters as the police looked on. When police finally decided to intervene, it was to arrest the protesters who were under attack.

Khin Sandar was one of those activists. She pulled up a screenshot of a Facebook post showing a photo of her being arrested by police at the protest. The Burmese comment that went with it translated roughly to: “These people earn dollars and are creating unrest by associating with rebels and kalar.” The post was shared again and again, often with comments calling for violence and even death threats against Khin Sandar.

Khin Sandar said she reported the post to Facebook as hate speech. Twenty-four hours after the protest, she checked her phone to find that the post was still up – and was clocking hundreds of shares. She was scared, so she alerted family and friends.

“I was at risk and my friends were trying to help me,” she said. “Friends were reporting the post through their accounts and others were trying to email Facebook administrators directly to alert them to this serious case.”

It took 48 hours for Facebook to review, respond and delete the post. By then, it had been shared nearly 1,900 times. She felt helpless.

Critics say Facebook’s slow response time to hate speech increases the danger to those at which it’s directed.

Although Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg pledged to commit to a 24-hour review and removal of hate speech at the landmark US Senate inquiry in April, Myanmar activists say the average response time is closer to 48 hours.

“The problem of hate speech has not gone away,” said Htaike Htaike of the Yangon-based Myanmar ICT for Development Organisation (Mido), a group that teaches internet literacy and monitors hate speech. Mido launched its Safe Online Space (SOS) curriculum in 2016 to teach people the basics of social media and the internet, how to report hate speech on Facebook and how to identify hearsay versus actual news. Through its “training of trainers”, Mido is developing a network of people to pass on this knowledge across Myanmar.

Htaike brought out her laptop and showed the data Myanmar activists have been collecting of serious hate speech posts that have been reported to Facebook. Next to each post was a column showing how many hours it took for it to be removed. The most common wait time was 48 hours. But Htaike said these few posts represented a tiny fraction of the thousands of hate-filled posts Mido has tracked.

This slow response time has not improved since March, when the UN called the social media giant a “beast” for its alleged role in fuelling the violence against the Rohingya – in part by allowing hate-speech posts to be shared online.

These Facebook posts included lists of well-known activists and Muslim community leaders who were vocal on the Rohingya issue, with links to their Facebook accounts. Some posts called for activists to be assassinated. One post depicted the purported corpse of a Rakhine Buddhist woman with ripped clothes lying in the grass, with the suggestion that she had been raped and murdered by Muslim men – an old story that led to deadly violence in Rakhine State in 2012.

Two chain messages – one to incite violence against the Muslim community and a separate message mirroring the words of violence against the Buddhist community – were shared hundreds of thousands of times leading up to 9 September last year. They ordered people to take up arms, warned of jihad and encouraged an anti-kalarmovement.

Since the crisis that led to over 700,000 Rohingya fleeing from Rakhine State to Bangladesh – described as ethnic cleansing by the UN – hate speech only continues to escalate.

“We know we’ve been too slow to respond to the developing situation in Myanmar,” admitted David Caragliano, a Facebook content policy manager, during the company’s first visit to Myanmar, in May.

A team of five Facebook staff visited the country for one week for a whirlwind of meetings with Myanmar-based civil society organisations, activists and the government.

The Facebook rep insisted the company is improving as a hate-speech watchdog. Referring to the same protest in Yangon, Caragliano vaguely suggested they were able to respond to some reports during the protests within 24 hours: “We removed numerous pieces of threatening content towards activists within three hours and a video depicting graphic violence.”

These examples are not enough, said Burmese activists.

“Two out of how many hate-speech posts?” asked Ei Myat Noe Khin of the Yangon-based tech accelerator Phandeeyar, which helped Facebook translate its Burmese-language community standards. Despite her group’s repeated requests, she said Facebook had not shared any information or metrics with Myanmar groups to show how it is monitoring posts – or how many posts it had removed and how quickly.

Herein lies the problem at the heart of the hate: no evidence or transparency of country-specific Facebook reports. So activists from Sri Lanka, Vietnam, India, Syria, Ethiopia and Myanmar formed the Global South coalition in May to hold Facebook accountable for failing to put adequate protections in place.

Wirathu, Myanmar’s most notorious hardline Buddhist nationalist monk – who has been charged with inciting anti-Muslim riots – finally had his Facebook account suspended in late January this year after he had been repeatedly caught breaching Facebook’s community standards with hate-filled posts.

Yet Htaike Htaike said monitoring by Mido has found that bad actors like Wirathu are still active on the platform, sometimes using fake names. And even if Wirathu and his ilk are locked out, they have plenty of followers to carry their hate torches high. Wirathu’s hardline nationalist group, the Patriotic Association of Myanmar, abbreviated in Burmese as Ma Ba Tha, thrives on Facebook pages and in multiple groups.

Reporting and deleting of posts is not enough, say activists – better detection is sorely needed. Facebook’s Caragliano said the platform is getting tougher in its approach to hate speech by implementing systems to “proactively detect this kind of content”, but Myanmar cybersecurity groups say they are still seeing these blacklisted figures online.

Caragliano admitted it is hard for artificial intelligence to identify hate speech with the same precision with which the platform identifies nudity, terrorist propaganda and spam. In Myanmar, the challenge for Facebook to build systems that detect hate speech in the Burmese script-based Zawgyi One and unicode fonts isn’t as simple as taking down posts with key words.

When Facebook suddenly banned the slur k**** last year, Htaike Htaike said it was a Band-Aid solution: “When they brought in the blanket ban of the word kalar, it became a joke because it didn’t work.” That ban didn’t establish a process, Htaike explained. It was a shortsighted decision that meant phrases like kalar page (lentil beans) were also suddenly taken down. Facebook said its review system now considers context.

Another roadblock is detecting hate speech on closed pages and in private messages. One improvement Facebook has made is to provide a reporting button in Messenger, but group members of pages are not likely to report hate speech if they are in a group that aligns with their beliefs. To combat this, Facebook said it has “updated our guidelines and now have more nuanced rules that help us take down abusive groups that have bad intent”. But Facebook hasn’t shared any data to back this claim.

Activists say that instead of these narrow policies that target words, Facebook should invest more in a language team in the region that can react in real time.

“We are still doing the reporting, [but] they can’t keep relying on us,” said Htaike. “They ask us for data, which of course we will provide, but for longterm data collecting, they need a better team.”

She stressed that the job of monitoring hate speech is extremely risky in Myanmar: “I am in a dilemma about having a Facebook in-country team as I am very concerned about security aspects, because even community civil society organisations like us are harassed and cyber-bullied just for having a relationship with Facebook.” Her group Mido has been harassed when something goes wrong, as with the “lentil beans” fiasco.

But anyone Facebook hires to do this job should be based in Myanmar, said Htaike, who is concerned that the site recently advertised a position for a Burmese analyst to join its team, but that that person would need to move to Dublin. “They at least need to be in the same time zone,” she said.

Facebook said it is hiring three new people a week, at the time of this writing, to work on Myanmar hate-speech reviews, but would not reveal the size of its Myanmar team.

Caragliano would say only that “we have added dozens more Myanmar-language reviewers and we hope to double that number by the end of this year.”

In July, Facebook announced that it had hired the San Francisco-based nonprofit Business for Social Responsibility to conduct a human rights impact assessment, which Myanmar activists and the Global South welcome. Yet questions remain unanswered about what exactly the report will reveal or how it could help things on the ground.

“We are waiting to know what their methodology will be and what they will actually enforce after the assessment,” said Ei Myat Noe Khin of Phandeeyar.

Without solid sustainable improvements from Facebook to tackle the hate-speech problem, the Global South coalition said that online inequality will continue to widen as Facebook expands to capture emerging markets without proper investment in monitoring and protections.

The Global South is blunt in its assessment of the power held by social media in the nations that make up the coalition: “The coalition countries include the world’s largest democracy, the first social media–enabled genocide, state-sponsored troll armies and the devastation of the Syrian war. In each of our countries, Facebook has been weaponised by bad actors against our citizens.”

In its press release announcing the new coalition, Global South accused Facebook of failing to invest in the “basic contextual understanding, local language skills, and human resources needed to provide a duty-of-care for users in sometimes repressive regimes”.

Myanmar activists seem reluctant to put much hope in Facebook’s promises since it hasn’t been able to tackle a problem that first erupted in 2014 in Mandalay, the country’s second largest city. In July that year, an unsubstantiated story circulated online that claimed a Buddhist employee of a tea shop had been raped by her Muslim employers. The resulting riots spun out of control, taking two lives and shattering the calm of a nation taking baby steps into the promises and dangers of the gilded information age.

[shylohathenemarx]

My own Toxic Traits..

Internet creep to a fault, I go on deep spirals and find out things I didn't need to know. No one is safe. I do it to pretty much all new people in my life, ever since I almost dated a dude who was caught messaging a 14 year old I can't trust someone right off the bat anymore. I can't just let it be. Went through my Ex's phone not with the intent of finding something, but I wanted to see what he kept of what I sent him... found none of my photos saved but found screenshots of his bestfriend's fetlife... and I'm the asshole for bringing it up and looking through his phone... there was way more that I found but it wasn't worth a fight.... do all dudes just never delete the photos sent to them? I delete the stuff I get when things are over. Anytime it got brought up between the 2 of us I was met with anger, that he didn't like things being held over his head, but if he talked to he bestfriend about it he laughed it off... am I the fucking nutjob for staying as long as I did? Absofuckinglutely. The good brain chemical rush in the pursuit of something whether physical or emotional is my drug of choice, the highs in a toxic relationship is hard to beat, but the drop isn't worth it anymore. So.. I'm trying a boring life, it's peaceful, it's given me room to see I'm exhausted, that I haven't given a fuck about my own well being in ages and I need to change that.