#i was literally going to take it to the dennys parking lot to beat it in hand to hand combat

[l1mit-breaker]

GOD FINALLY HES DONE OH MY G O

i present to you my favoritest time travel boi

extra dumb rants from me utc .

chris ( me ) after watching horror videssays while drawing at midnight

they are so lovely but i do not need to be jumpscared by WHEELS and DOORS AAAA ( kane pixels “the rolling giant” for context ) shakes fists ………

i wouldve got this post out sooner if the art arted better but well . SIGH . i also realized i accidentally kind of made him colored like fucking steve from minecraft and now im . i make bad decisions .

anyways ! heres a thing for whoevers still reading; design choices ! because i actually think sometimes ! woo !

i have all the uh , color pallet stuff (???) of the characters saved and i try to use as much as the colors on those as possible because (1. its a pretty cool challenge , and (2. iiii am horrendous with coming up with my own pallets !! ahaha ! for roman i had it in my heart and in my soul ( for some reason ) that he has wavy/fluffy brown hair . i added the highlight things because . uh . colors . and it looks cool . AND WHY NOT :D i put him in a very simple outfit because he is a prisoner ( /j ) and the gloves are for coolness points and because of ✨THE LAB✨ . safety and all that jazz wAIT I SHOULDVE GIVEN HIM GOGGLES GODAMMIT- ahem , anyways the side doodle is just yknow regular evil time travel bull . i think thats it . i probably wouldve done more if not for my brain being half turned off and the fact ive been procrastinating on this ever since i finished cyril .

i also want to mention how badly i want to make an animatic of the time travel experiment log video . but hell knows id never be able to finish that if i tried .

anyways thanks for reading have a great time !

[unlikelypandahologram]

Reasons to ship every single version of MegOP

since Very Dumb Discourse™ exists about whether or not certain versions of this ship are valid, this is going to be THE most positive post about all versions of MegOP. refer back to this post for reasons to ship your favorite version of MegOP if anyone gets weird about it with you. now let us begin!!

G1: goofy '80s faction dads fighting each other in a denny's parking lot every week LET'S GOOO, that shit is fun as fuck. orion pax also totally had a celeb crush on megatron before megatron ruined that and shot him and his pals 😔 and there's a lot of angst you can add with megatron becoming galvatron and optimus coming back to life to see how much he's changed!

BW: it's the sheer fucking comedy gold factor of a newly minted college graduate and a terrorist dinosaur IMMEDIATELY singling each other out on a prehistoric rock and deciding to call their daily gang slap-fights the BEAST WARS, what iconic drama queens LMAOOOO. also, megatron made his final body in BM look like optimal optimus SPECIFICALLY to fuck with him, and that's just...incredible

UT: the fact that megatron CANONICALLY acted like a grieving widower over optimus after he died in armada is. amazing. never forget their absolutely insane obsession with each other that they can never EVER give up on played a direct part in unicron nearly ending the world <3

Bayverse: this is the one continuity of all fucking things that gave us the lore about megatron being prime's lord high protector. absolute galaxy brain writing from the tie-in comics. also these two would ABSOLUTELY have the messiest, nastiest, most brutal hate sex imaginable, and that's beautiful. <3

Animated: optimus being a rookie washout underdog and megatron being a super scary much older warlord is a really interesting and underrated fresh take on their dynamic! lots of fun to be had with exploring what their relationship would be like after megatron finally acknowledged him as his archnemesis, lol. also...age AND size difference ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Prime: do i even need to say anything, i'm pretty sure that one flashback still of orion and megatronus being friends is responsible for birthing a million shippers for this pairing alone LMAOOOO. the bitter ex-boyfriends energy was TRULY off the charts in this show, it's a damn shame megatron never appeared in RID15

Cyberverse: same bitter ex-boyfriends energy but this time with dates at maccadams. megatron also dies encouraging optimus to beat the unhinged alternate dimension megs AAHH THE ANGST

IDW1: they're both depressed gay war criminals in this one who CONSTANTLY live in each other's heads rent-free and that's amazing, lmfao. also, megatron becoming an autobot means this is one of the VERY FEW continuities where it's not nigh impossible to figure out a way to give these two a happy ending together in fanon

IDW2: space date space date SPACE DATE. they were falling together and everything. megatron also LITERALLY tells optimus to open himself to him...to give him the matrix...yeah megs my dude i'm sure that's the ONLY thing you wanted from optimus "opening" himself. toootally positive, lol

G1 Marvel: megatron was SUPER fucking pissed and weird as shit about the time optimus died over a video game. it counts

Dreamwave: their first fight had megatron urging optimus to join him AND they disappeared together in a space bridge explosion once which is like, a fanfic-esque setup for them to be alone. also i'm pretty sure this is the continuity where optimus accidentally gave megatron a lobotomy, so...uh...potential for angst is to be had

SG: mirror universe!! evil crazy villain optimus with noble goody-goody hero megatron has so much potential for absolute chaos. bonus if you also bring in the normal versions somehow through multiverse shenanigans <3

KP: the only way this version of prime can redeem himself from the creepy underage human girl bullshit is if he gets a good hard dicking from megatron. next

Prime Wars: huge "ex-husbands go on a road trip with their disgruntled daughter" energy here. megatron also LITERALLY says "oh optimus, if only you could see me now" <3

Earthspark: again...need i say why? they're pals and working together from the get-go, what's not to ship??

Skybound: optimus literally wears megatron's arm. truly beautiful <3

TF One: it's not out yet but give it time. the entire movie is going to be about orion and d-16 being madly in love and tragically breaking up, baby!!

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

What Did You Take?

A One For The Road Bonus Chapter

Cecil Dennis x afab!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • Kinktober 2024 Masterlist • Day 9: Sex Pollen

Summary: Cecil took... something.

A/N: Thank you so much @thexsanctuaryx for betaing!

Warnings: kissing, swearing, talk of drunks, sex pollen, flesh lights, jacking off, p in v sex, oral (afab! receiving), please let me know if I have missed a warning!

Word Count: 1556

You answer Cecil’s call almost instantly. He was one of the few people who preferred calling (or video chatting) over messaging, always said he liked to hear your voice. 

You liked to tease him that really it was because then he could make sure he was speaking to the correct person, and hadn’t accidentally sent a saucy pic (his dick) to the wrong contact (poor Harry one too many times).

“Hey Cec,” you lean down, grabbing a tin of soup and putting it into your trolley. 

“Hey,” He draws out the word, his voice soft and breathy. He was definitely jerking off. 

“I’m food shopping.” You say with a smile on your face, “Literally grabbing tins.”

“Uh huh,” he swallows, the sound clicking. 

You frown a little, sure Cecil had a big libido, but you were sure even he couldn’t find you picking up ingredients that interesting. 

“What you doing Cec?” You tease.

“Jerking off.” 

“I got that.” 

He whines, a mixture of excitement and embarrassment. “I got the fleshlight between the sofa cushions and I’m…” he moans, “Fuck, it feels really good.” 

“Yeah?” You grin. “Had to call and tell me about it?” 

He hums an affirmative. “I… I can’t…”

You wait a beat, listening to his heavy breathing. 

“I can’t get off.” 

“What?” 

“It’s not working, like, it feels good, so good, but I can’t get to the end.” He whimpers. “I, I took…”

“What did you take Cecil?” Worry spikes into your chest. 

“It’s this… thing,” he always was so helpful with descriptions. “It’s, so it’s meant to make you super horny and keep going,” he groans and you hear a particularly wet thrust in the background, “and I thought because we’re hanging out later that it would be good for you if I was… if I could just keep fucking you and so I took it and fuck.” He sobs.

“Cecil?” 

“It worked so quickly and I feel so hot, and I wanted to just come and take the edge off and I can’t.” His voice breaks at the end.

You’re already at the self-checkout, quickly paying for your items so you can get the hell out of there and over to him. “When did you take it?”

“Ummm,” he groans, the sound of his thrusts growing louder, “about an hour ago.”

“An hour?” 

“And twenty.”

“Cecil! Fuck,” you grab your shopping and head to your car, how long could someone have an erection before they needed to go to the hospital. “So this is like super Viagra?” You say as you sit down and fasten your seatbelt. 

“Sort of.” He groans, “God, talking to you helps actually,” he whines, “Feel so close.” 

“Where did you get this anyway?” You pull out of the parking lot. 

“Benny.”

“Benny?” You swear. “I’ll fucking kill him.”

“Noo,” Cecil whines, “He’s not that bad, he always gives me good deals, a friend discount.” 

“Cecil, he sold you that weed that had roofies in it.”

“That was an accident-”

“And that ritalin and-”

“Can we not talk about him,” Cecil gasps, “please, I was really close.” 

You pause, “My voice helps?” 

“Oh god, so much.” He whimpers, swallowing thickly. 

“I’m on my way over.” 

He moans loudly, shivering. “Thank you, oh fuck, thank you, need to see you so bad.”

“Can’t leave you alone for a second can I?” You drive through the light on amber. 

“You can’t.”

“Or you’ll go and take weird drugs that could put you in the hospital.”

“You could, um,” he groans deeply, “put me in you or something, I’m sorry, there’s an innuendo there somewhere, I can’t get to it.” 

“Okay, now I know something’s wrong.” You tease, trying to make light of the situation and ease your slowly building tension. 

He snorts through moans, and then whines pitifully. “I can’t come.” A little sob shakes through him. “I need to so, so, so bad. It hurts.”

 “Fuck Cec.” 

You make it to his house in record time, using your key to open the front door and practically throwing yourself inside. 

Cecil is on you before you even get a chance to call out a greeting. 

“You came,” he sobs, he’s naked, his skin flushed and feverish. His heavy cock bobs between his legs as he moves, slick from the lube he’s been using.

“Of course I did,” you stroke his cheeks, looking into his dilated eyes. “I told you I was on the way.” You say soothingly, he still hasn’t become used to you not stringing him along. 

“Thank youuu,” He groans, leaning forward and kissing you messily, slipping his tongue into your mouth eagerly. Drinking in your air like it was his only source. 

“Cec, Cec,” You manage to pull back, your hands on his cheeks.

He whines pitifully as your lips leave his. 

“We should go to the hospital.”

“No, please,” He shakes his head rapidly, “Please, let’s, please, I need you so bad, let’s just fuck and try.”

“Fuck and try,” you snort despite your worry and he grins, his eyes lighting up.

“Yes, yes, try.” He drags you into the living room, yanking at your clothing and kissing your neck. 

“Cec, maybe we shouldn’t in the living room, I mean, Harry’ll-”

He lets out a whine of frustration, taking his mouth off your skin only so that he can pull off your top and undo your bra. He licks your chest eagerly, focusing on one and then the other, his eyes rolling back as he sucks.

You gasp, your fingers instinctively sliding through his hair as he works.

He slips his hands down to your hips, hastily undoing your trousers and pulling them down to your knees. 

“Cec,” you bite your lip, unsure if you should really be doing this and not taking him to the emergency room. 

“Sorry, sorry,” he mutters, but doesn’t stop what he’s doing. He drags you onto the floor, finishes stripping you bare in a matter of seconds. 

He’s everywhere, all over, licking and sucking and moaning in your ear as he squeezes and pinches and impatiently pushes his fingers inside. 

You shiver at the intrusion, a little gulp escaping your lips. You shouldn’t be enjoying this quite so much, having him so desperate and needy for you. 

Cecil whines, gasping and rutting against your leg as he curls his fingers and strokes your walls. “Fuck, oh god, oh god, oh god.”

You don’t even think he realises he’s speaking anymore, just letting whatever thoughts he has fall from his lips. 

Pleasure cracks up his spine, makes his vision spin. He groans, bucking his hips faster as he buries his head between your thighs and sucks your clit into his mouth greedily. 

You swallow, desperately grabbing at him as your body moves with his, chasing after the sensation he’s lavishing upon you. 

He whines, whimpers, so, so close he can almost taste it, but still not close enough. He pulls away from you quickly, muttering apologies at your huff of frustration at the loss. 

“Can I? Can I? Can I?” He kneels, taking himself in hand and notches himself at your core, the words fluttering out of his mouth in such a wanton mess they are nearly indistinguishable from each other. 

You barely get a chance to nod before he’s pushing in, trying to slow the rapid buck of his hips by squeezing the base of his cock. 

“Ohhhh fuuuuuuck.” He sobs, sounding even whinier than usual. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, feels so nice.” He rocks further in, pressing so wonderfully as he stretches you wide. 

“Cecil,” you bite your lip as he just sinks down, thrusting shallowly as he bottoms out and presses his chest to yours. 

“Yeah?” He sounds floaty, lost in the sensation as he rolls and rocks, keeping his length as deep inside as possible while he rubs the base of his cock against your bundle of nerves in a way that has your mind short-circuiting. 

He feels so good like his body was made to fit inside and please you. You grab at his biceps, his curls, moaning against his lips as his fingers dig into your skin in desperation. 

“Fuck, baby, please, ah, please can you squeeze my neck, please,” he splutters, his eyes screwed up so tight. “Gonna come, please, need to, I’ll take care of you after, I promise, I promise, I-”

You put your hand on his throat, a warm strong pressure, barely squeezing, more there to ground him than anything. And he sobs. 

He ruts twice, frantic. His voice rises to an impressive pitch as he comes deep, his orgasm washing over him and robbing him of all other thoughts. 

You expect him to collapse on top of you, nuzzle into your chest. 

But he doesn’t.

He keeps moving, keeps bucking, causing pleasure to race along your nerves.

“Cec?” You bite back a moan, pushing his sweaty curls from his forehead. 

“Fuck, that was so good, so good, fuck.” He grinds his hips, picking up the pace as he fucks his still very erect cock into you. 

“Still hard, gonna come again,” he whines, all high pitched and breathless. “Gonna make you come with me this time.” He bites his lip, looking down at you with hazy, lust filled eyes. 

It was going to be a long night.

Thank you for reading!

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[r0-boat]

Hear. Me. Out. Ingo/Emmet with a strong fem S/o who can just easily pick them up and carry them. Imagine how hard Elisa would laugh when the both of them are trying to intimidate a random person who they assume is trying to 'steal' their darling when S/o is done and just carries them away over her shoulder/under her arm. Elisa would never let them live it down.

Here's some motherfucking head cannons for you because ideas in my head go buzz

Submas(+Elesa) with a Strong Gf Reader

Sfw with somewhat suggestive words

No because Emmet will act like he hates it and tried to square up and fight them in a Denny's parking lot (with Pokémon or Fists) but on the inside he like, "Mommy? Sorry mommy? Sorry mommy? sorry"

Ingo is speechless he's pretty much like: 😳.

Oh, but could you imagine if this was Ingo pre-hisui, I bet they would work out together, I can imagine Warden Ingo and you would rough house and then Ingo would just laugh and say " it's been a while since I did that with anyone!" Meanwhile Emmet is freaking out because he just witnessed his girlfriend and brother physically fight each other.

What about the other way around? When some dick bag is trying to flirt with the twins, which they are obviously not having any of it, and you just literally take out the trash, The twins will just collectively say, "Oh, wow..." under their breath with a shocked expression.

Elesa: gay gay homosexual gay?

The entertainment value of watching the twins get flustered is comedy gold, but she understands where they're coming from when she looks at you; she kind of wants to ask to touch your muscles.

Elesa's bi Awakening is muscular women. She wonders if you're willing to dress up in a certain character she likes from a show.

Arceus help us if you wear tights. Emmet because he will be too focused on the way the cloth hugs your thighs and legs will start walking into things.

Emmet wants to know your secrets he's so sick of being the scrawny noodle brother, first you now, Ingo! Mans can't catch a break... He wants to be stronger too! If he was that he could carry all of his joltik friends

Elesa would adore it if you gave her piggyback rides.

"my gf can beat up your gf" - Emmet probably

You could definitely carry them both! All I can imagine is Emmet growling and kicking and punching the air as you carry him away over your shoulder while ingo under your arm has blue screened.

[dragonslaved]

Hello All, Space here to tell you why YOU !! Should read classic manga Magic Knight Rayearth. 

“What’s that?” you ask? You’ve never heard of Magic Knight Rayearth? Well, I am here to tell you ALL about it.

WHAT IS MAGIC KNIGHT RAYEARTH?

Magic Knight Rayearth is a 6 volume manga about magical girls, giant robots, and isekai. Yes, you read that right. All three amazingly loved tropes together and it’s done seamlessly and beautifully. You’ll laugh, you’ll say ‘wtf’, you’ll sob big Ghibli tears. 

Also like. If you have any intention to actually read this manga after this post, don’t google anything? Seriously don’t. It’s only 6 volumes but googling will spoil literally every twist and turn this series has and BOY DOES IT HAVE SOME. I’m not gonna spoil you for them. Don’t spoil yourself.

To put into perspective how much I love this series and how badly I've wanted people to read it for years: I was pinching pennies for p much my entire life until very recently. I read this series when I was 14 (~20+ years ago oh god) and fast forward to today I'm still a penny pincher but I went out of my way to collect 5 different full copies of this series in various printings and languages because I just. I gotta. I love it. I have a copy that is a dedicated loner copy so I always have one ready for someone to borrow and read. PLEASE understand how much I love this series and go along with me here.

All right, so the story goes like this: three middle school girls on a field trip to Tokyo Tower get summoned to an alternate world called Cephiro. Oh by the way, they go to different schools. Also they’ve never met before. 

You’ve got rich, beautiful hothead, Umi Ryuzaki. Her magic element is water, fierce and unforgiving. Her two loving parents are still in their honeymoon phase 14 years later. They’re rich, she loves food, she is kinda selfish, but has such a great character arc because of it. She’s amazing and I would die for her. 

After her, you’ve got polite but very very shrewd and thoughtful, Fuu Houoji. Her element is wind, kind, occasionally harsh, and healing. Fuu is the one with plans, who is very sweet and formal but also very conniving if you aren’t paying close attention. She cares deeply about those around her  while also being realistic. Sometimes she can be a little aloof, but it’s ok she’s cute.

And finally last girl, BEST GIRL, Hikaru Shidou. Energetic, sympathetic, understanding, and eternally the best. Her element is fire, she IS the magic knight of Rayearth, the titular character, the beautiful perfect darling angel who has never done anything wrong in her life. She goes to an all girls’ school. She has three older brothers. Almost every girl in her school has a crush on her. She is oblivious as fuck. She grew up in a kendo dojo and beat her father in a match when she was in kindergarten and that’s why he’s not around. She has the biggest heart in the universe. I love her. I would beat gen urobuchi in a denny’s parking lot at 3am for her honor. 

These three girls meet a magician, Guru Clef. This lil dude. 

The rare “small boy who is actually a bajillion years old” trope before it was such an annoying trope to use on women characters, but he’s 700+ years old and the most powerful sorcerer in Cephiro. He gives the girls magic and armor, and tells them they were summoned by Princess Emeraude to save Cephiro. 

How do they do that?

By talking to the chief Pharle (artisan, blacksmith, etc) of Cephiro named Presea to make them weapons. And oh yeah they have to use those weapons to revive the rune gods.

Y’know.

Big Giant Mechs. 

Waking these bad boys up takes a lot for the girls and it’s really really good seeing how they go about it and what they're willing to do to accomplish it.

I’m not gonna spoil the story for you but I WILL go through some of the other characters.

You’ve got:

Princess Emeraude. The Pillar of Cephiro, imprisoned and kept from praying for Cephiro’s well being. She’s sweet, she’s heartbroken, she wants her world to be safe again. 

Next to her you have the High Priest Zagato, her second, the antagonist who got the ball rolling on this whole thing. He’s gloomy, he’s serious, he’s methodical and looming. 

I mentioned Presea, did I mention her already? She’s great. She’s feisty and loud and would be THE most amazing dom queen if she could ever find a sub willing to tolerate her. 

She makes the weapons for the girls and also gives them a guide to find the rune gods.

Oh yeah their guide. 

So like. Probably obvious by now but in case it’s not, this is an early 1990s CLAMP series. You know CLAMP. They did xxxholic and Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles and Card Captor Sakura. Yeah, this series came before ALLLLLL of those. 

You know that lil fuckin rabbit mascot they have?

That’s Mokona. He’s their guide. This is the series he originated from. 

Mokona is an adorable caring little shit who knows exactly what he’s doing at all times.  He helps them out but my god. The way he makes their blood pressure skyrocket on the journey there. 

Then we’ve got Ferio. A traveling swordsman who enters tournaments. Unfortunately Fuu’s straight alignment. But he’s fine, he’s cute. He’s got like… a whole Thing about him that I won’t explain but know that he’s okay. He’s all right.

The latter three volumes expands their allies to some other people that I cannot spoil but please know: they’re gay. They are all gay. There’s no heterosexual explanation for any of them. You think "oh that's a straight couple". Wrong. They're all gay, even if they're straight. One of them is like. Holy shit I cannot express how obviously gay they are. This isn’t like. “Oh you’re reading too into it with your fandom eyes”, I mean this is like. Wow. You two had the worst ghosting breakup and should get back together because it was over something stupid. 

There are a fair number of villains and only one of them is like. Pure Actual Evil and I won’t tell you which one it is but the rest are all VERY satisfying in their character stories and arcs and I love them all dearly. Got some hot magic ladies, got some nervous quiet men, and some awkward cute boys. The whole variety is there! 

Aside from the great characters, the artwork is GORGEOUS. 

I know in this day and age of 2023 digital art and speedy turnarounds of weekly manga releases, all the art is crisp and kinda minimal except for big scenes, and people like that. 

But also consider: gorgeous detailed intricate illustrations. 

And I still won’t spoil you for the story, but it will still surprise you I swear to you. 

“Okay but isn’t there an anime? Can I just watch that instead?” Look at me. I am holding your hands gently, and I am looking you in the eye as I pull you close and tell you: no. 

You notice all the artwork I've shared is specifically manga art. The anime is. ……………………………………………… not great. It has its pros like padding out filler episodes so they can flesh out the girls’ friendship and some of the side characters. But in having to pad out a 6 volume manga to two 26 episode seasons, some Decisions Were Made that were not in the best interest of the series or its themes. And when I say that, I do mean the very core of some of who these characters are. Motivations and internal goals changed for no reason, added characters for padded run time, an entire character killed for no reason only for their (anime only) twin to dress up and pretend to be that character because the directors realized “oh shit that character is in the second half uhhhhh quick”. It’s not great and it’s just not a lot of fun. 

All I’m saying is please please give this manga a read. It’s very quick, you can finish it in like. 3 days tops. It’s beautiful, it’s heartbreaking, it’s tragic and hopeful. 

I’m gonna leave this with a link to read it online and some other characters I didn’t mention because I just think they’re neat. 

[sadgirlnoga]

heres an mpgis parody i made where alex is placed in the aphrodite cabin. pt. 1

piper: so i was like fr and he said no way, so than i said slay and he was like yass queen and i was like i know what you are, and than i said EVERY BITCH CANT BE YOUR SON!...and than he gave me a speeding ticket so now im in my ethel cain coded dorian electra type beat villain era. drew: i soooooo need a gay best friend. piper: im literally right here and yesterday you called me a slur! drew: anyways, should i go hunting in the dennys parking lot or the taco bell one? piper: didnt you step down from here? drew: DONT QUESTION ME F- alex: *walks in with an off the shouder camp halfblood shirt, jeans and 6 inch demonias, places her vintage juicy couture bag on the bed and her vintage dior suitcase next to it* drew: EHEM! alex: *lipsyncs to kim petras* drew: EHEHEM!! alex: I SeE yOuR mOnStErS, i SeE yOuR pAiN- drew: who the fuck are you?! alex: who the fuck are YOU?! drew: i asked you first ewzuku middoriya! alex: i asked you second burnette burdine maxwell! piper: oh thats drew tanaka, daughter of aphrodite, former head councler of this cabin and the 69th most popular ariana grande stan account on twitter. *rolls eyes* alex: she looks like the maddy from euphoria we have at home. drew: who the fuck are you?! alex: oh im jules, i just moved here...sike bitch my name is alex, im new. drew: who the fuck let you in here?! alex: mr. D piper: mr. D is a fucking alcoholic! hes not even allowed to be in charge of the drinks! drew: so, ALEX! let me tell you how we roll around here! alex: i already know how y'all roll around here, according to those outfits y'all rollin with the LGBT. piper: isnt chiron incharge of the dorms?! what is he doing letting mr. D take his place?! drew: you arent a greek demigod, are you?! alex: unfortunately my boyfriend brought me here and we had to move here from hotel valhalla and get this ugly ass prison suit looking shirt. drew: miss girliepop that sounds like a made up hotel for people who choke on setting powder. your not fooling anyone! alex: your not wrong though, its kinda like tartarus but with terfs. drew: let me tell your pronouns in bio grinch looking ass how things roll around here in the aphrodite cabin! alex: for the last time, miss crack von d, i already know how things work around here in the aphrodite cabin! jason grace told me all about it! drew: what the fuck are you doing talking to jason grace?! alex: percy jackson gave me his number. piper: em, thats my fucking boyfriend bitch! alex: thats not what silena beauregard told me. drew: SILENA BEAUREGARD IS A LYING ASS TRAITOR!!!!!

[knowlesian]

so: the closet scene! i’ve been mad at this stupid closet scene for SO LONG. i still don’t entirely know how i feel about it, to be honest. whenever i do, i find a new angle i hadn’t considered and have to think about it that way. i’ve got a couple things i’m fairly steady about and a whole heap more that sound out there even to me, because my whole brain gives up on linear thinking and goes all-in on muppet-esque leaps of logic when i try to sort out any given thought. 

i need to acknowledge the visual joke here before i even deal with taking it seriously. it’s so broad it’s like... i don’t know, a visual gag version of taking a pie to the face. this takes the implied knocking boots joke by the throat and says “i can do better.” stede 10000000% literally takes ed into his secret closet of fancy gay things. this sweet, sad little man who is so metaphorically closeted at the moment he’s in fucking narnia, is taking ed into his actual factual closet to hang out. and then they stay there even longer so they can be gay together away from izzy, #1 pooper of parties.

i mean, what am i supposed to say? that’s funny. it just is, i don’t make these rules. it’s really, really fucking funny. 

then it’s not, because oh wait: what leads up to this moment in the closet makes the obvious “hah hah, two gay dudes in maybe the gayest closet the good lord ever did make” joke into something a lot more textured. they’re very good at this! i have said it before, and i will say it again. i will meet these writers in the parking lot of a denny’s!!!! 

stede’s never been told anything he loves is right for him. none of it matters. it’s all soft and silly and frivolous and weak. worst of it: it’s fucking girly. because of some very stupid rules a bunch of dead people made up in part to make sure the generational wealth that gave stede these nice things stayed the fuck put where it was already at, he can’t get caught enjoying them or risk being shamed for it. 

there’s something really sad and complicated and fucked up about that that won’t stop eating at me. maybe it’s the way they’re digging into the complications that arise when privilege and marginalization beat in same breast, maybe it's all the juicy class stuff, maybe it’s the nodding at toxic masculinity and the way patriarchy likes to stab a knife into its own emotional guts while reaping practical/systemic benefits at once thing. (i guess if the patriarchy had emotional literacy i wouldn’t need to know the word patriarchy, because it wouldn’t be such a fucking problem! love to live in a society, i really do.) i don’t know what i think it all actually means now, but maybe someday.

what i do know is the way stede says “rather exquisite cashmere” is unfair. because that’s what it is: cashmere that is rather exquisite. he’s describing the world as he sees it, and up until now every single response he’s gotten to saying anything like that has been “fucking... christ with this one, and his gay little scarves and shit.” sometimes they phrase it more kindly, but nobody ever gets it.

so stede holds his breath there, hoping he’s not going to be mocked, but his face when it’s even better than that kills me. ed doesn’t just nod and take stede’s way of expressing himself in stride; he repeats the words back to him. he decides he likes the way they feel in his mouth, far better than izzy’s demands he stick to harsher, guttural tones.

the way this show deals with communication and words as a method of love or shelter really does kill me. the jim and olu of it all is literally always killing me softly, and this just kicks my feelings up a notch. 

on this show, to love someone is to find out you had the same words in your heart all along, you were just waiting for someone to understand them. that’s pretty fuckin’ rad.

anyway, then ed rubs the rather exquisite cashmere on his fucking face and the music gets all lighthearted and “this is the scene where they start falling in love, you know this cue, let’s ROLL, we are DOING THIS.” i mean... come ON.

and stede is so HAPPY! he loves his pretty things, his soft beds and fine fabrics, and he’s never had a single person reflect that back to him. and here ed is, not just listening, but agreeing; he does fancy a fine fabric. (the fact that at this point in the narrative stede’s self-concept is still pretty tied to his material goods and here ed is like “yes. fine fabrics. i like them. and since you feel as though your personhood is coupled with these fabrics, i also like you.” is Very Nice.)

(god, i can’t wait for s2. what's the version of this scene where stede is the one validating ed’s Whole Thing going to look like, i don’t know but god i need it.)

the little gasp stede lets out after “i think i do, yeah” is... mean. it’s mean. what if i never do anything but obsess over the little details of this insanely talented cast acting their faces off? that feels like a valid choice. the way rhys does this adorable little lean and looks like a kid about to show off his ant farm to the first person alive who also finds ants as interesting as he does, equally mean. 

and the purple shelving in the closet? FUCK THIS CREATIVE TEAM. JESUS. the use of purple as ed grows more comfortable just being ed is fucking next level.

honestly, i know this level of textual analysis isn’t for everybody and a lot of my dear, dear friends are largely like “that’s nice, sarah, we don’t give a single fuck about the use of purple” but when a show like this comes along, it feels like a sin not to appreciate all the hard work they put into the little stuff.

speaking of: time for izzy to rock up and take things into the fucking thematic stratosphere.

there’s something really fascinating to me about the casting on izzy, and the general choice to make our one Homophobic Gay the white guy who looks and acts most like the fulfillment of patriarchal power fantasies but is actually a sad little gremlin idiot who wants to fuck other men so bad it makes him look stupid. izzy never heard the good word about how you can be a monster and a lighthouse if you want, depending on the day, because as discussed: he’s from a canon where the dicks don’t touch.

less flippantly, there’s also a lot to be said about how his dynamic with ed is exploring some pretty intense thematic waters re: the intersection of race and sexuality, the long and so-very unavoidable history of white people divebombing in and fucking up indigenous cultures and their understanding of gender and sexuality with weird repressed jesus shit, and how izzy who is a white man even while being gay and ed who is not have wildly difference lived experiences of the same sexuality. i need to rewatch izzy and ed’s scenes with that in mind to sort out any more eloquent thoughts other than ‘oh shit, they went there?’ and ‘holy shit, they go HARD’. not mentioning it’s in the mix feels wrong, though, so i want to at least point it out as something the show is doing really, really well.

i like it even more because we’ve got stede and lucius and pete knocking around also being super gay white guys, so that marks izzy out as particularly in denial and out of step with the times.

the whole 'and now we’re not just checking out your fun little room, we are officially hiding in the closet from izzy’ kicks into high gear when you think about it that way. the obvious “yes, we see they’re hiding from the one character who doesn’t understand the show he's now on”, literally closeted metaphor works there, but it’s not a despairing or fearful scene.

just the phrase “in the closet” is something that brings up a lot of weird baggage for some of us in the soup, especially those who have Been Around A While; there’s a vague sensing of shaming to the way I’ve most often heard it used throughout my life. we tend to heap our scorn or pity and Hot Takes on the person still lingering behind the doorway, because they’re a coward. they’re not being authentic. they’re weak, and they’re not to be trusted. 

(and don’t even get me started on people inside our own fucking clubhouse outing people. the fact that perez hilton is still wandering around, pretending he’s all cute and refusing to reckon with the damage he did bothers me every single fucking day.)

why we do that shit to each other sometimes is a whoooooole thesis i’m in no way qualified to write, but: we do! we tear at each other, trying to yank open the door before someone else is ready.

so here these two men are, hiding in a closet; stede already spends most of his time in here, and ed doesn’t want to deal with izzy, striding around telling him it’s time to man the fuck up and Do A Toxic Pirate Masculinity. but since izzy needs ed to be the same as him so badly he’ll die trying to make it happen if he doesn’t get some fucking therapy and stop trying to enforce his rules on other people’s lives, ed hides in stede’s gay little closet with him and they enjoy the stuff they’re not supposed to enjoy, together.

i really like that. it’s not the more-familiar “it Doesn’t Matter, we are all Just People, so you should live your life in secret, being honest is shoving it in our faces so just be quiet and let us pretend you aren’t withering away” (which is the other nasty little barb we swallow on the whole scorn for the closeted thing; we don’t blame the team who built the damn house, we blame the person trapped inside it) but instead it’s allowing that sometimes you need these softer, secret spaces where people speak your love languages on instinct and you can figure out who you are while being sheltered, not locked away.

the whole “stede’s closet is accessed by a secret passage and when you think about it, this whole dumb ship is his closet, gayass unicorn and all so maybe NONE of this is happening in a closet, it’s a liminal space instead” angle feels like i’ll die if i attempt to parse it out with that spin in mind, so i’ll just say: jesus fuck. jesus fucking fuck, with this show.

[nico-drives-badly]

From the creator of the critically acclaimed DMC fanfic “Life Rewritten”, here are Nico’s words of wisdom and advice for writers everywhere:

Not every chapter is going to come to you easily. Don’t let that discourage you from writing it.

Eventually, you WILL get burned out. Remember to be patient with yourself during this time.

Vandalism, arson, grand theft, and manslaughter are okay as long as it’s fictional.

End EVERY sentence with a period. Or a question mark. Or maybe even an exclamation point if you’re feeling daring.

Reading other people’s fics can give you just the inspiration you need to get that idea of yours off the ground.

Get up and pee. Now. Do it now. It’s been 10 hours you NEED to take a break.

OCs are actually the backbone of society and it is always morally correct to make them.

Never let one negative comment get under your skin; that person’s a loser and your loyal fans are already beating the shit out of them in the back of a Denny’s parking lot for you.

Next time someone says that OCs are cringe, tell them that Blorbo from their shows will never fuck them.

Adding AO3 tags is like a Youtube tutorial: it needs to be long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep it interesting.

GO TO THE BATHROOM ALREADY GOD DAMMIT HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS

In case anyone didn’t know, Google Docs has a mobile app and it is a blessing for writers on the go.

Very long words that no one knows the definition of are actually the worst choice for fanfic titles. I’m sorry but someone had to say it.

End your fanfic off with an absolute ZINGER of a period. Or a question mark. Or maybe even an exclamation point if you really want to get jazzy with it.

You know your fanfic better than anyone else. Don’t let some asshole on the internet try to tell you how YOUR story should go.

Opening yourself up to criticism is 100% optional and you are NOT obligated to give negative comments any of your attention.

Unless Capcom literally busts down your door and holds you at gunpoint, you are not required to listen to canon. Like, at all. Write those demon boys however the fuck you want dude it’s called creative liberty.

Umbra. This isn’t advice, I just want everyone to acknowledge my asshole cat OC.

Professional writers literally take years to write their novels. Keep this in mind whenever you’re setting deadlines for yourself.

Now read the first letter of each bullet point.

✧･ﾟ:*April Fools!*:･ﾟ✧

[poisoned-peppermint]

I made dsmp incorrect quotes you wanna see em of course you do here

Bad: *seductively takes off glasses*

Bad: Wow...

Skeppy: *blushes* Haha... what?

Bad: You're really flipping blurry.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Is something burning?

Bad, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Skeppy: Bad, the toaster is literally on fire.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Bad: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....

George: ....

Dream: .....

Sapnap: ......

Bad: ..Who?

Skeppy: That's the thing we don't-

*Everyone stares at Bad

~~~~~~~

*Everyone is giving advice to Sapnap*

Skeppy: It's okay to ask for help.

Dream: You're not a burden.

Bad: Murder is okay.

George: Your feelings matter. 

~~~~~~~

Dream: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Sapnap: This knife is actually a magic wand.

George: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Bad: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Skeppy: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

~~~~~~~

Dream: Did you bring Sapnap?

George, gesturing to Skeppy: No, but I brought the next best thing.

Dream: Skeppy? The next best thing would be Bad.

Skeppy: I would be offended, but Bad is freakishly strong.

~~~~~~~

Sapnap: You're a lying piece of shit!

George: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

Skeppy: I'm leaving and I'm taking Bad with me!

Dream, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

~~~~~~~

Sapnap: So anyways have y'all seen Bad?

Dream: I think they went in Skeppy's room 'studying'.

George: Doubt that. I heard groans there.

*Meanwhile in Skeppy's room*

Bad & Skeppy, fighting:

~~~~~~~

Bad: Isn’t it weird that we can’t ride any other animal except horses. Like if horses weren’t a thing, humans would be fucked cause we couldn’t ride any other animals. Like riding animals wouldn’t really be a thing. We should probably be more grateful to horses.

George: Elephants.

Bad: Blocked.

Dream: Camels.

Bad: Extra blocked.

Sapnap: Donkeys.

Bad: Ultra blocked.

Skeppy: That dick.

Bad: ...Followed.

~~~~~~~

Bad, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away

 ~~~~~~~

Quackity: I’m this close to falling in love with Sapnap.

Karl: Your fingertips are touching.

Quackity: Exactly.

~~~~~~~

Karl: So how’s the food Quackity made?

Sapnap: It's great! Compliments to them.

Karl: *goes to the kitchen*

Karl: You're adorable.

Quackity: *blushes*

~~~~~~~

Bad: Hey guys I just found a new song I really like-

Quackity: Is it about death?

Bad: No.

Sapnap: Is it about drugs?

Karl: Is it about sex?

Bad: NO- it's about happiness and peace and-

Quackity, Sapnap, and Karl:

~~~~~~~

Karl: Made you all playlists!

Karl: Sapnap, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.

Karl: Quackity, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Karl: And Bad has the ABBA Gold album. 

~~~~~~~

Karl: I give up. I am so tired.

Bad: Get the emergency supply!

Quackity: *carries Sapnap and places them in front of Karl*

Sapnap: *smiles*

Karl: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

~~~~~~~

Karl: What’s the announcement, Quackity?

Quackity: It’s a lecture. Bad’s gonna tell us everything they know about sex.

Sapnap: It should be an enjoyable 60 seconds. 

 ~~~~~~~

Bad: Sapnap, you'll be working with Quackity and Karl.

Sapnap: Alright! My fantasy threesome!

Everyone else: *blank stares*

Sapnap: ...Of people on a team.

~~~~~~~

Quackity: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city.

Karl: Well, that was entirely predictable.

Quackity: One of them punched a gang member.

Karl: Sapnap?

Quackity: Bad, actually.

Karl: Oh, that was going to be my second guess. 

 ~~~~~~~

Bad: Alright, which one of us is gonna check outside?

Karl: Not it!

Sapnap: Not it!

Bad: ...Neither one of you are as dumb as you lead on to be.

~~~~~~~

Karl and Sapnap: *making loud, shouty gorilla sounds at each other*

Quackity:

Bad, exasperatedly: We have a guest. 

 ~~~~~~~

Sapnap: I am darkness. I am a power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-

Karl: A doll.

Quackity: A cinnamon roll.

Bad: A sweetheart.

Sapnap:

Sapnap: ...stop it. 

 ~~~~~~~

Quackity, pointing to the wall: What color is this?

Sapnap: Gray.

Bad: Grey.

Quackity, turning to Karl: Now tell them what color you think it is.

Karl: Dark white.

~~~~~~~

Karl: We need to distract these guys.

Bad: Leave it to me.

Bad: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Sapnap & Quackity: *immediately begin arguing* 

 ~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Bad is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do?

Ant: Punch them in the stomach. Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them.

Quackity: Tackle them!

Puffy: Dump them.

Velvet: Kick them in the shin!

Bad: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

~~~~~~~

Velvet: Christmas lights?

Bad: Check.

Ant: THermos of hot cocoa?

Bad: Check.

Quackity: Santa suits?

Bad: Check.

Puffy: Shovel?

Bad: Check.

Skeppy: Alibi and bail money?

Bad: Check- wait, WHAT?!

~~~~~~~

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Bad: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Skeppy: ...I did. I broke it.

Bad: No. No you didn't. Velvet?

Velvet: Don't look at me. Look at Ant.

Ant: What?! I didn't break it.

Velvet: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Ant: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Velvet: Suspicious.

Ant: No, it's not!

Quackity: If it matters, probably not, but Puffy was the last one to use it.

Puffy: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Quackity: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Puffy: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Quackity!

Skeppy: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Bad.

Bad: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Quackity: Bad... Gumi's been awfully quiet.

Gumi: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Bad, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Bad: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Bad:

Bad: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here

~~~~~~~

Velvet: How much you wanna bet Bad got a Lap dance from Skeppy?

Ant: If that happend, Quackity can drink free tonight.

Quackity: As much as I love the thought of having free drinks I don't like the idea of Bad receiving a Lap dance from someone other than me.

Velvet: Hey Skeppy, did you give Bad a lap dance?

Skeppy: So what if I did?

Velvet, to Ant: I guess Quackity is drinking free tonight.

Skeppy: Be right back, I'm gonna go cry-

Bad, entering the room: What the muffin??

~~~~~~~

Bad: Skeppy kissed me!

Ant: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Bad: It was unbelievable!

Ant: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Velvet: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Ant, get the wine and unplug the phone. Bad, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Bad: Oh, it ended very well.

Ant: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!

Velvet: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?

Bad: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.

Velvet: Ohh... So, okay, were they holding you? Or were their hands on your back?

Bad: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair.

Ant and Velvet: Ohhh.

*meanwhile*

Skeppy eating pizza in their house: And, uh, and then I kissed them.

Quackity: Tongue?

Skeppy: Yeah.

Puffy: Cool.

~~~~~~~

Bad: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

 ~~~~~~~

Bad: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FREAKING THREAT.

 ~~~~~~

I will be making a part 2 shortly this is just getting to long

[dragonheart-swtor]

Sith Inquisitor Storyline: Drunk History Version

Y’all, and by y’all I mean one person (@sith-shenanigans thank you very much), asked for it, and I live to repeat this over and over for others’ amusement, so here it is. Have my summary of the pinball machine that is the Sith Inquisitor storyline, from memory, originally drafted a while back in DMs with a friend who’s never played SWTOR. Spoilers for the Sith Inquisitor storyline, obviously.

Without further ado: Let us begin.

- So your story begins as a recently sort-of-freed slave walking off a ship and onto Hell: The Planet. (The nonhuman Inquisitor immediately experiences 2483947 microaggressions.)

- You have to compete with a bunch of other people! Only one of you is not going to die and the overseer has already picked his favorite, seemingly purely because he happens to have red skin. They will both (the overseer and Teacher’s Pet) proceed to be as annoying as possible for the rest of the Korriban story.

- multiple people try to kill you, but you’re the protagonist, so fuck them

- “Teacher’s Pet, you go to the library and translate these texts. Protagonist, you go to this ancient tomb and figure out how to retrieve an artifact from a lock that no one has been able to open in ten thousand years.” “Libraries are boring anyway. Yawn.”

- You finally get to smackdown with Teacher’s Pet, which is satisfying as hell. Unfortunately the overseer gets pissy about it. Fortunately, the Sith you’ve been competing to be the apprentice of decided she liked you early on and has also been playing favorites, so you don’t die immediately.

- your master is great! much more into positive reinforcement than most Sith.

- at some point you semi-accidentally steal someone else's cult on Nar Shaddaa and now they worship you as a nigh-on god. whoops. you just kind of... leave and let them run their own business. you pay them visits later in the storyline.

- you also become part bug so you can go skinny dipping in radioactive waste. it’s fine, we promise.

- your master is trying to steal your body because turns out she's actually really old and kind of dying so she plans on kicking you out of your body, transplanting her own soul in your place, killing her old body, and assuming your identity after "you" "killed" "your master"! that's not great, better not let her do that.

-  you successfully didn't let her do that! wait, now she's sharing a body with one of your companions, an ancient monster who you kind of forced into submission and who serves you rather unwillingly now. there is apparently nothing that can be done about this so sometimes your eight-foot-tall monster not-friend talks in a high, unnervingly smooth feminine voice and tries to convince you she's on your side now that she's forced by this new body to not harm you. this is also not great but what are you gonna do. he is also Not Pleased about this by the way, and really who can blame him.

- some darth on the dark council named Thanaton decides to get pissy with you for reasons I don't remember and now he's trying to kill you. what the fuck.

-  he actually almost does kill you but your old master's other apprentices, who are now your apprentices, save you from the brink of death.

- (the apprentices, by the way, are very sweet and I love them. they’re murdered by thanaton almost immediately.)

-  your solution to "I need more power, fast", for some godforsaken reason, is "I'm going to learn to walk the line between life and death and EAT GHOSTS" and I wish I were exaggerating this

- you go out and eat a bunch of ghosts of old Sith on various planets

- subpoint to this: on one of these planets, you accomplish this by coercing the ghost's descendant, a Jedi padawan named Ashara, to get the ghost to appear so you can eat him. You end up murdering her masters in the process because one way or another they find out about your plan. She is understandably horrified by this turn of events and, feeling she has no chance of returning to the Jedi, reluctantly joins your crew and either (Light Side Quizzy) learns to balance light and dark sides of the Force and becomes ultimately stronger for it, or (Dark Side Quizzy) lives in abject terror of you for the rest of the storyline. I love her dearly as well. fortunately she is not murdered by thanaton.

- congrats! you ate enough ghosts to have enough power to beat thanaton up!

- unfortunately, you have Ate Too Many Ghosts Disease now and need immediate medical attention.

- your mind kind of just Shatters and you may or may not have hallucinations for a while iirc. either way you need help or you're just gonna disintegrate slowly until the ghosts overwhelm you and take over. you go to Voss and participate in some wild Force ritual they've got to take care of that. it's a fun time

- your body is also having a bad time and that also needs fixing; I don't remember where you go for this (Belsavis, I think?) but you end up checking out a machine made by a long-dead alien civilization and the machine turns out to a) be sentient and b) be responsible for CREATING A GOOD PORTION OF THE GALAXY'S NEAR-HUMAN SPECIES, IF NOT ALL OF THEM, AND DISSEMINATING THEM TO THE GALAXY AS PART OF THE RAKATA'S EXPERIMENTS ON CREATING FORCE-SENSITIVE LIFEFORMS IN HOPES OF KEEPING THEIR OWN SPECIES FROM DYING OUT BECAUSE THEY WERE SUPER RACIST AND EVENTUALLY THAT RACISM KICKED THEM IN THE ASS IN THE FORM OF A MASS REVOLUTION THAT WIPED THEM OUT COMPLETELY BUT THE MACHINE IS STILL HERE

- all right I’m calm sorry I derailed for a moment

- I have a lot of thoughts about things

-  anyway the machine bUILDS YOU A NEW FUCKING BODY and you're good to go now

-  (by the way, depending what species you're playing, it's entirely possible you learn at this point that your entire species only exists because of this machine!)

- (anyway.)

- okay, mind fixed, body fixed, ghosts consumed, we're good to go! time to murder a dark councilor!

- "we do that"

- except you don't because you're on corellia and this dipshit challenges you to a kaggath without really ever explaining in detail what a kaggath is or what the rules (if any) are, we just know it seems to be the ancient and very formal Sith way of saying "meet me in the denny's parking lot at 3am if you want an ass-kicking", and then hE RUNS OFF TO DROMUND KAAS WHICH DEPENDING ON WHAT GALAXY MAP YOU BELIEVE IS UP TO FIVE DAYS' TRAVEL AWAY

- YOU'RE CANONICALLY JUST CHASING THIS LITTLE BITCH THROUGH SPACE FOR FIVE DAYS AFTER HE CHALLENGED YOU

-  he then goes to the Dark Council to try to convince them to help him kill you and you literally have to just go to the Dark Council chambers too and kick in the door and go "HEARD YOU WERE TALKIN SHIT" in front of everyone

- (which to be fair is basically Sith philosophy in a nutshell)

-  Ravage and Marr spend this entire council meeting just exchanging tired glances and going "no, fuck you, why can't you kill them, they're your problem. fight for our entertainment now. fuck you"

- (Darth Baras did this exact same shit earlier the same day, by the way, with the Sith Warrior. and by “earlier the same day” I mean “like fifteen minutes prior to this.”)

- you fight Thanaton. to no one's surprise, because you're the protagonist and because he's being a little bitch about it, you kick his ass and slaughter him in front of everyone

- half the Council stands up and you just kind of go "oh shit I'm gonna die"

- but no

- you're being promoted

- congration you done it you're a dark councilor now

- someone complains because wait, they're not even a darth, you can't be a dark councilor if you're not even a darth

- first person responds with "well fuck you then, we'll make them a darth. hey you. your name is Darth Nox (dark side)/Imperius (light side)/Occulus (neutral) now. take a seat"

- "but - what?"

- "take a fuckin seat, babe"

- "o- okay" 

- "you run the entire Ancient Knowledge sector now, by the way, despite the fact that you may or may not be illiterate due to having been raised a slave, because that was what Thanaton ran and we only have the one job opening since the Warrior just killed Baras"

- (the Warrior, freshly coined the Emperor's Wrath officially, waves from their corner where they're cleaning Baras's blood off their boots)

- "I - okay, I guess"

and that’s the Sith Inquisitor storyline. That’s a wrap, folks, roll credits. if this gets enough notes and/or if literally anyone says they’d like to see it I may also post the Imperial Agent and/or do other class stories, I enjoy these way too much

[weirdagnes]

💄RUDOLF’S DRAG RACE AU 🏁

ALRIGHT SO this AU originally started in our Yeah We Outlasting discord server, artists started drawing the characters in drag and I WOKE HMSHD real shit man. So I'm making a masterpost for drag au on behalf of the server✊✊

Outlast 1 = Season 1

Outlast 2 = Season 2

Whistleblower DLC = All Stars

All of the characters and ideas for the characters were written in collab with @gothivican, @panopt1c0n, @grahaam and the rest of the lads in the server, y’all have such beautiful brains. So anyways.

Here are the judges:

Rudolf Wernicke. Lowkey bias, literally goes to the backstage and tells Miles to beat Billy Hope in a lipsync because Billy can't continue on the show for some reason. Has favoritism towards Blaire, but was forced to sashay him away by the other two judges. Also this bitch is dying, literally has a breathing tank support behind his chair.

Pauline Glick. A very sharp critic. Wore the same shoes? Call out. Oh that's your signature makeup? UGLY tone it down. Sorry, the colors don't match, you'll be in the bottom two for that.

Paul Marion. The kindest judge. He will give constructive criticism in the nicest non-offensive way possible and compliment them after (because he would feel guilty about it).

Alice as guest star. Supportive as f u c k, huge fan, she cries when meeting the queens in Untucked. She can't help complimenting the queens every 10 seconds, she gives off the Leslie Jones’ enthusiasm.

Lisa Park as guest star. Like Alice, very supportive. She’s an artist, and will break down all the reasons why they are so good from an artist’s perspective. Crushes HARD on Wyssle Blower, she might’ve given her number after the show.

Lynn Langermann as guest star. She’s a judge, and she will judge. Gives out well constructed criticisms to all queens fair and square until she saw Angel Fromm (Blake) and just says “Wow what’s there to criticize?” Sallyzekiel hates her, Valentina and Angel on the other hand loves her very much.

 Here are the queens:

Miles Upshur as Kill-O-Meter. Primarily an insult comedy and rocker queen, and specializes in dancing. She tends to be criticized for a lack of glamour on some of her main stage looks, and is one of the most dramatic, sarcastic and shady queens of the bunch. Can and will stomp on you in latex boots for money. Besties with Wyssle and Chrisel, gets into a little heated talks with (occasionally) Peacock, (frequently) Ricky and Remy. She adores Cheets’ (Pyro) makeup skills. Winner of season 1 babey!!

Chris Walker as Piggy Chrisel. A punk/grunge queen who seems to specialize moreso in dancing and lip syncing. She's a shy, gentle giant, has a little trouble speaking coherently and it affects her in the acting/impromptu comedy challenges. She will call out whores though, she will kick ass when the situation calls for it. Really good at makeup, makeup girl-friends with Cheeto and besties with Kill O Meter (Latrila vibes). Also a perfectionist and hates mess on her work table.

Rick Trager as Ricky Trix. Whore, that's all. This bitch OBNOXIOUS and shady but she's both a glamour AND comedy queen, the other queens are watching out for her since day one. Horror and '80s inspired queen, extremely good at comedy and acting and will literally stomp the competition with nearly perfect impressions and extremely expressive acting. The downfall for her seems to be glam on the occasion and singing. Rivals with Kill O Meter and Miss Tini, kikis with Remy (they throw shade to other queens the moment they get em)

Father Martin as Miss Tini. The oldest queen but she can still serve the cakes. Generally a kind person, coming from a religious background. She’s takes the drag culture religiously. She gets along with The Twinks.

The Twins as The Twinks. Was recruited as two totally separate queens, but both quit on the first episode when one of the twins were to be eliminated. The queens tell the Twinks apart by who’s bald and who’s not. They don’t vibe with other queens except Miss Tini.

Pyromaniac as Cheeto de LaFlammeo. Queen of Makeup, she has some serious skill range on it. Good in the acting department, always plays as the tragic character. Was rivals with Kill-O Meter before, but one time when she had a breakdown, Kill-O Meter was by her side when no one was. After that, they respected each other.

Billy Hope as Billy Willy. CLOWN QUEEN, huge Crystal Methyd vibes. She’s the youngest queen, very energetic, a ball of SUNSHINE but Wernicke was a bias bitch and sent her home immediately the moment she was in the bottom. She was basically Kill-O Meter and Wyssle Blower's drag child. Hailed as Miss Congeniality, is voted by majority to return for a season 2 for going home a little too early than people feel was deserved. Best at makeup and outfits, her mom Tiffany taught her to sew and make dresses out of rags and other unconventional materials and the skill proved to be helpful. Also she likes puns and everyone likes playing with her name like: Silly Billy Willy, Witty Billy Willy, etc.

....

Waylon Park as Wyssle Blower. The Mom of the queens, the most well rounded queen, and the most 'fishy' one. Probably the smartest and most humble one out of everyone, she can read through people’s bullshit well. Genuinely looks like a girl in full drag, but always does her best on acting. She's serving you a cute, nerdy and quirky style, but can serve horror when need be. Always wins the mini challenges, she's not as loud as the other girls but she does beat Blaire in a lip sync (lowkey badass lipsyncer). Winner of All Stars babey

Jeremy Blaire as Remy Coco Ainée. Pretentious fake ass queen, even her drag name is just Cocaine in fake French. A pure fashion glamour queen, she serves it at almost all the fashion challenges but there's no more personality out of her other than that and her shady attitude (she will not hold back on the shade). Is extremely horrible at singing (her voice cracks) and acting, goes home against a lip sync with Wyssle. This bitch will FLEX her wins. Kikis with Ricky, mainly rivals with Kill O Meter, Wyssle and Peacock but she made everyone her rivals bc of her bitchass attitude.

Eddie Gluskin as Edna Taylor. Fashion queen, specializes in sewing, acting and singing, but is extremely lacking in the dancing department. Has a one-sided endearment for Waylon, and consistently tries to have her attention. Is extremely manipulative too, trying to consistently trip the other queens up. Also everybody hates her mohawk signature wig but nobody says anything about it because they don’t want to be victim to Edna’s mind games.

Frank Manera as Hanni Canni Bahl. Horror queen, best at comedy and dancing. Though it is prohibited, she’s able to sneak in weed, coke (for Ricky) and snacks in the werk room. Very messy when working, her discarded fabrics are EVERYWHERE and Chrisel is fighting the urge to clean it up. She eats while working when the camera’s off, and it stains the dress she’s working on (Pauline notices it).

Dennis as Denise. Mocked as “Edna’s little helper” as she always helps with her dresses. She’s trying too hard to impress Edna, and helps her get Wyssle’s attention. Very talented in acting and sewing, but bland in fashion, lacking in concept. Her inner conflict is what got her eliminated.

Simon Peacock as Julie Peacock. Rebellious, mischievous, and an ex-glam queen gone horror and campy instead. After being insulted much by glam queens (ahemRemyahem), she just embraced it and became a horror queen, serving the judges her horror aesthetic. Best at comedy, lacks extremely on acting and dancing though. No one is safe from her constructive criticism, and she will never stop ranting to Kill O Meter and Wyssle about Remy and Ricky being bad bitches and favored by Wernicke, she thinks it's unfair.

....

Blake Langermann as Angel Fromm. Singing queen!! Good at singing, but otherwise is moreso well-rounded, she might've been eliminated earlier, hadn't it been for her also low-key successful and iconic lip syncs. But the lucky winning streak didn't last forever, she goes home later in the season because she's slowly falling behind the other queens and can't keep up anymore. Has Rococo aesthetic, unfortunately the outfits can't make up for the lack of character as a queen. Though she needs a lot of improvement, the guest star Lynn adores her very much.

Val as Valentina. Queen of SEX or moreso impersonations and comedy. She’s a terrible tailor, but likes unconventional and simple fashion designs. She’s trans and lowkey Pauline has a crush on her the moment she walked on that stage. Pure rivals with Sallyzekiel, you know that iconic Aja vs. Valentina in Untucked? They had that moment. Probably goes home earlier, not entirely prepared, but still was a season icon. Definitely dropped it low about 10 times on her lip sync.

Marta as ImMartal. GOTH QUEEN, survived about early mid season. Best at her makeup and looks, glam queen, but the judges criticize her for wearing the same wigs/having the same hairstyle for almost every looks.

Nick Tremblay as Nicky Lanterns. Another gentle giant. Very introverted, she has a difficult time socializing with other girls because she’s generally not a very loud person. Really bad at makeup, her fashion sense is somewhat okay but it’s always on the ‘safe’ level. Pretty good at slapstick comedy, writing and concepts tho. It’s a wonder how Nicky and Lard Imp became “friends,” they’re complete opposites.

Laird Byron as Lard Imp. Whore, Exhibit B. Extremely rude, louder than Remy and Ricky themselves, and has a weird love/hate obsession with Angel for some reason. Everyone hates her, even Rudolf himself, and Lard Imp isn’t her original drag name but ultimately they came to a point where they just called her Lard Imp. Constantly denies the judges’ and the queens’ critiques, very delusional about winning the season and that’s why she’s the first one eliminated.

Sullivan Knoth as Sallyzekiel. The Big Bad Bitch of the season. Ultimate rivals with Valentina, constantly bullies Angel. Marta used to be friends with her, but after talking shit on Valentina, she says fuck you and defended Val. Glam queen, has an affinity for shoes but damn girl terrible makeup and padding. Really good with speech, acting and impromptu.

So far, here are the character designs we have made!

(1) Blake and Trager by @/pan0pt1con

(1, 2, 3, 4, 5) Waylon, Chris, Simon, Eddie, Miles and Jeremy by @/gothivican

(1) Billy, Miles, Chris, Wernicke, Pauline, Paul and Alice by @/weirdagnes

[shkspr]

Hello me again I see that some of your issue with fighting the entities came down to location and fist fight. So now I open to you if you would like, exactly when where and how you would fight each entity. 🎙️

okay thank u here goes. i tried to write this down on papre bc it was easier that way  but i spilled booze on it so im typing

the buried: in an abandoned shopping mall with huge ceiling windows. probably with my fists. midday lots of natural light taking that fucker down

the corruption: that bitch is going down. its in a hermetically sealed room. im in a separate hermetically sealed room with a button that releases like.. that cocktail of medicines from doctor who s2e2 new earth. all over the corruption. get fucked 

the dark: literally fight on the surface of the sun. maybe i die but i go out in a blaze of glory and i take that fucker down with me

the desolation: no fighting shakira shakira.. i love her

the end: like i said i think the 2am parkign lot sitch is ideal for this. i would maybe put it in a dennys parking lot only cos i wouldnt have to drive as far

the eye: fight in the panopticon. i know what ur thinkign. ‘but martin thats where the eye is most powerful’ yeah thats how i achieve maximum sex appeal for this fight. it would be so hot. the eye will use its eye powers and i will use the power of being so pretty to look at

the flesh: this cunt can square up while im armed with a flamthrower. cook that meat. anytime anywhere long as i have a big ignition source to burn it so much

the hunt: an executive office of some sort where i am behind the big guy desk and the hunt is meeting me for a job interview. i have all the power and i have my finger on a button to call security to get it out of my office. you cant hunt me im just sitting right there. where ar eyou gonna go bitch who you gonna chase

the lonely: simple. gather all my frens in one place. beat the lonely w the power of lvoe. still incredibly homoerotic tho

the slaughter: again, dennys parking lot ideally. it rly captures the whole essence of it and like.., this is a fucking altercation. whats the slaughter gonna do to me, ?? makes me wanna fight???? im already fighting ?? thats the whole point.

the spiral: this ones hard bc  there truley is no place in the universe where i cant go crazy. fight the spirall at my cousins office hes a psychologist and he does counselign at my school and i trust him more than my psychiatrist so i would go there and fight the spiral w the power of therapy

the stranger: gonna be honest i think the squad had the right idea w this one just blowin them up. like. just blow em up! anytime anywhere massive amoutns of plastic explosives for those plastic fucks.

the vast: the bathroom at my work. enclosed space, plus everything is just a bit too small bc its an elementary school, plus the fact of being there means i cant forget how important i am so the vast cant get me literally or conceptually. unfortunatley no weapns allowed in the school so i will use my damb hands to strangle the vast. bc. choke

the web: wouldnt fight. too much love. howember. i already dont bleeve in free will so i dont think i wld be able to hold any ground in that battle if it did happen no matter where when or how. ideally i wld survive the fight but theres just no way to manipulate that situation so i could win.

[pinespittinink]

If My OCs Were In A Dating Sim...

Who would you choose? Your pick from 11 potential routes! I thought this would be a fun way to know ocs a little more. Feel free to make your own and tag me in them~~

Victory

meet-cute where you literally crash into each other, knocking him off his bike

he’s incredibly apologetic, worried he’s hurt you and you fall in love instantly

he works in a flower shop and sends you very cute texts and animal pics and neat facts about plants, laden with emojis

hand-holding dates around the park lead to playing with each other’s hair and him teaching you to make daisy chains

soft love confessions come at home under fairy lights in a pillow fort 

kisses in the rain

the original romantic boyfriend route

Enfriator

she’s your personal trainer at the gym

looks aces in a sports bra, you try and fail not to stare at her abs, and it’s a growing problem whenever she helps you with your lifts and spots you

maybe you have a strength kink

she’s picked up on it too, but will never let you know beyond the odd smug look

she agrees to get a smoothie one afternoon and you start hanging out, playing chess and Overwatch (she beats you. always)

long quiet times slumped together on the couch turn into slowly opening up to each other emotionally

you catch her with heart eyes from time to time and tease her about it

Aubra

the lacrosse jock himbo of your dreams

he’s a golden retriever whenever he sees you, equipment falling left and right

can haul you over his shoulders with ease

friends to lovers 

you go to pride together

he’s a sweet fumbling flirt who occasionally drops a smooth move leaving you weak at the knees

is oblivious to the fact that you like him in return, brags about being your best friend

Domini

sweaty grinding dancing at the club

you fuck the first night

he’s a grungy hot shit fuckboy with jealousy issues, rattling self-esteem, and the tact of a teaspoon.

he’ll follow you around like a mangy dog if you give him attention

you cheer him on while he gets his ass handed to him in a denny’s parking lot

don’t date this man unless you want to roll around in garbage with him, get drunk, and press a bag of frozen peas to his black eyes inflicted through his own awful decision making

Solene

you haven’t been able to get a hold of a particular book because some asshole keeps renewing it week after week so you track it to the library hermit 

he looks like he lives in the gutter and steals couch covers from the goodwill donation bins 

unsurprisingly, he refuses to give up the book, so you insist on sharing it

turns out he’s actually very witty and has the driest sense of humor

he also survives off of the library vending machines

you slowly grow fond of him, bringing him snacks, spending nights stargazing on the roof

will-they-won’t-they tension ultimately culminates in him slyly revealing his attraction and fucking in the library stacks

Moses

you start talking to him at a party when you notice he’s alone in the corner

he’s taciturn and Awkward and endearing

blushes every time you compliment him, constantly tries to leave

will memorize your schedule and wait for you without prompting

you kiss his cheek once and he runs away and leaves you on read for two weeks

eventually he grows a backbone and comes back into your social sphere

you mention a scarf you like at one point and he saves up pennies to buy it and turns into a tomato when he gives it to you

his route is a lot of patience and a lot of work

Eaves

daycare worker who you become very quickly smitten with

he’s great with kids, humble, and charming

the ultimate gentleman

walks you home after your dates, gives you a kiss at the door

cooks dinner for you, brings you breakfast in bed 

he refuses any kind of charity for his poor family, determined to get by on hard work

works a million jobs

you help him realize he doesn’t have to do it alone and it’s okay to have the support of other people every once and a while

Addie

loud aries lesbian 

arcade champion until you come along and challenge her scores

rivals to lovers in a firecracker romance

she’ll show up at your house at four in the morning to drag you out on an adventure that might not be entirely legal and usually results in you running from the cops

a kitchen disaster when she helps you cook, flour everywhere 

popcorn fights during movie nights

big promposal type love confession, very bombastic 

Mateo

your soft spoken biology TA who tutors you

he’s a nursing student and works nights, perpetually sleepy

his affection is very subtle and genuine

brings you your coffee and smiles when you’re flustered 

takes you on dates to botanical gardens and science museums and aquariums 

gentle good morning texts

sometimes sends you quotes or bits of poetry he likes 

Daemyung

you work at the clinic where he brings his dog

he’s cranky and removed 

you like Molly more than him until you see how much he really loves her

bonding over late night walks and philosophical discussions

you share a blunt once, ending in shotgunning until you notice his dog watching and awkwardly break apart 

he opens up about being a distant only child and shying away from intimacy

kinky af when you eventually get it on

Phaedron

modern art student 

has a reputation as a no-strings-attached hookup 

you fail to have no-strings-attached

he’s very humbled when you ask him out on a date and confesses that no one’s ever shown an interest in him beyond sleeping together

you woo him with boxes of candied fruit slices and chocolates and chai lattes

date nights in consist of take-out and chatting over whatever’s playing in the background on netflix 

he sits in your lap constantly, falls asleep with his head against your shoulder

tells you he loves you mid-fuck

Emerson

the TA in the medieval lit class you took for a required English credit

way more attractive than any English TA has the right to be

you run into him at a frat party and do a double take because you almost don’t recognize him

he’s got a screwdriver in one hand and an empty Long Island iced tea in the other but he’s amazingly standing coherent and excitedly arguing about the merits of Stargate Atlantis

you hook up and end up spending winter break together in his apartment eating chocolate graham crackers

bike dates for coffee and visiting the city duck ponds

you get to ride him on the couch while he wears his unzipped totoro kigurumi

[taimebangchan]

Jikook Fic Masterlist

since i’m incredibly bored here’s a giant masterlist of all the jikook fics i recommend that you read :)

your little moon face, shining bright at me by cygnus (sunsprite). Words: 89824. Chapters: 16/16.  Jimin lives an unassuming life, working at the small and quaint coffeehouse known for its reoccurring open mic nights to showcase indie performers, while he juggles between who he truly wants to be and breaking the conformity his parents try to shape him into. It's dull and grey, full of sleepless nights-- dreamless, even, how he doesn't have much going for himself. His routine is all but a fixed, tedium cycle. That is, until Jimin meets someone interesting during one of their open mic nights.

We Can Be Golden, Why Don’t We Show Them? by hato96. Words: 37097. Chapters: 12/12. "Your eyes..I remember those amber eyes. Those same yellow-orange orbs that gazed at me before. You're the one who saved me."

Unknown Number by bananacookies. Words: 22384. Chapters: 16/16. J_Paaaark1 is following you. Par9J3333 is following you. Say hi! New follower! JImChim26. ChimChim26 has sent a friend request. Accept? Jiminie000 is following your snaps.

two sides; same story by namjoone. Words: 12569. Chapters: 4/4.  Okay, so maybe Jimin thinks his neighbor is hot. A little. Okay, maybe a lot.

Tonight We’re Okay by vvtaehyungvv. Words: 3236. Chapters: 1/1. Jungkook gets set up on a blind date with the most ethereal person he's ever seen, and starts to believe in fate because of him.

the waiting game by bonnia. Words: 6819. Chapters: 2/2.  It’s a waiting game. Jimin knows that Jungkook doesn’t have to come back, but with every little touch, every time Jungkook does, and every time Jungkook lies down right next to him, pressed up close, torturously warm and smelling like cigarette smoke and cologne, Jimin can’t help but feel like he could — would — wait years just for Jungkook to come back to him again. (Or: In which Jimin is a prostitute and Jungkook is his favourite customer.)

The President’s Son by AmeliaBedelia. Words: 55060. Chapters: 13/13. The man in the suit stepped forward. He bowed deeply, holding his position as he spoke. “Jeon Jungkook,” the agent introduced himself. “It’s an honor to serve you.” Jimin narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing the tall man once he stood back up to his full height. “Jeon Jungkook?” “Yes, sir.” Jimin cringed. “Sir?” he echoed in horror. “Don’t call me sir. That’s what everyone calls my dad.” The man nodded. “Yes, sir.” ----- Jimin's surprised when the death threats he's been receiving while attending university warrant additional security. But, he supposes, it only makes sense, considering his father is the president. You know, of the country.

The beginning by CloudLeopard. Words: 26319 Chapters: 1/1.  When Jimin takes a summer job at a cafe owned by Jungkook's mother, he has no idea that it's going to be the start of a series of life-changing events.

texas by honeyrolls. Words: 7937. Chapters: 2/2. Jimin gets a little too horny in Texas.

Tastes Like Victory by eumorious. Words: 170475. Chapters: 13/13.  "You fuck me, then snub me. You love me, you hate me. You show me a sensitive side, then you turn into a total asshole." Jeon Jeongguk's, a successful underground fighter, life collides with the damaged, vulnerable stripper Park Jimin who needs training on how to fight and defend himself against his clients. Jeongguk is the perfect candidate for the job.

Take the pain away by pastelrainbows. Words: 3788. Chapters: 1/1.  Soulmate au where your soulmate can take your pain as their own (under certain conditions). Jungkook has zero interest in soulmates. Jimin is all heart (and soul).

Surreptitious by Bangtanbananas. Words: 69152. Chapters: 11/11. Vampires and lycans have been at war for centuries. For Death Dealer Jimin, his orders had always been the same: hunt the lycans, kill them off. But when a young lycan named Jeongguk crosses paths with him, their worlds collide in a way like never before.

Smile by sweetmxchi. Words: 1274. Chapters: 1/1. I read a headcanon once that said Jimin talks to Jungkook in satoori to cheer him up and thought it was unfair that the other way around wasn't mentioned. or The one where Jimin is upset and Jungkook is having none of it happening while he's around so he goes to make his hyung feel better. or "Are you alright?" "Why are you speaking in satoori? To make me feel better? "Only if it's working."

Rose Quartz and Pink Opal by jiminanna. Words: 21472. Chapters: 1/1. “Everyone is born with either 1 or 2 small powers. If 1, then your soulmate has the other. They will swap the first time you see each other, and you will obtain both when you fall in love. If born with 2, you have no soulmate.”

 Relax, Don’t Do It by yoongidontdoit (sammyinnerdglasses). Words: 24078. Chapters: 4/4.  Jeongguk likes to party. Jeongguk likes to party hard. When he wakes up half naked in a Denny's parking lot, for the third time, he decides to commit to something for once and swear to be completely straight-edge for a full 90 days. That includes no partying, no late nights, and absolutely no sex. Easy until Jimin decides to crash land, literally, into his life.

Registered Alpha by Little_Dimples. Words: 12690. Chapters: 1/1.  Jimin has to order an alpha online. It's required that every unmated omega order an alpha during their heat so nothing dangerous will happen to them. Jimin honestly doesn't want one but he's turning 20 and his heat is scheduled to come in a couple weeks and there's nothing he can do. When his alpha gets there, Jimin doesn't know if he can handle him.

Red Wolf by TheMonarch. Words: 19790. Chapters: 10/10.  Everyone knows about the dangers of the woods. Jimin's father taught him about the monster that lurks there, a wolf. Jungkook, Jimin's childhood friend, is bitten by the wolf making him into the same monster. 9 years later how far will Jimin and Jungkook go to protect each other?

re: I Love You by bonnia. Words: 10658. Chapters: 1/?.  "Um, where exactly did you get that? My… my letter.” The contents of my fucking heart, Jimin thinks in despair. Jungkook looks at him like he’s grown a second head. “The mail box?” “Oh my god,” Jimin says faintly. “Is this really happening?” (or: jimin's world turns upside down when his secret love letters get sent out to all of his past crushes, and jeon jungkook makes an offer he can't refuse)

Pink Lemonades, Tattoos, and I Love You’s by sunrr. Words: 123721. Chapters: 25/25.  Jimin had his summer all planned out, until he was forced to go to his grand mother's house in Busan. He thought his summer was going to be boring and long, until he met Jeon Jungkook.

On Patrol by Ragi. Words: 129876 Chapters: 22/22.  Officer Jeon has his eyes on Mr. Adorable. Officer Min has a strange neighbor he can't seem to keep out of his life. Captain Kim finds comfort in his son's homeroom teacher. Well, cops need some loving too, right?

On Patrol - Season 2 by Ragi. Words: 124616. Chapters: 20/20.  Officer Jeon still has his eyes on Mr. Adorable. Officer Min is a little bit in love with his neighbor. Captain Kim finds comfort in his new family. It's happily ever after for everyone...right? I mean, really, what can possibly go wrong?

Never Judge A Book By Its Cover by whenIseeUsmile. Words: 25266. Chapters: 4/4. Thanks to Jungkook's idiot best friend, he drowned the books he borrowed from the library. Now, he has to work there to work off his debt. He doesn't really like the job but that one boy that always has his nose buried in his books makes his days much better. Or in which Jungkook meets bookworm Jimin and falls harder than he thought he would.

More Than Your Body by whenIseeUsmile. Words: 48670. Chapters: 5/5. Jungkook got an assignment to create a documentary about something he can get involved in and in the beginning, he had no idea what to do. However, when he sees Jimin dance, he knows what he wants. Or in which Jungkook is a film student and may or may not be a little obsessed with the silver-haired man he keeps seeing on his way to university.

more golden than a golden snitch by aborescent. Words: 4542. Chapters: 1/1.  Everyone knows that the first year Slytherin seeker Jeon Jungkook's biggest fan is not from his own house but a third year Hufflepuff named Park Jimin.

Little Soldier Boy (Come Marching Home) by MinatheLast. Words: 41595. Chapters: 8/12.  If you asked Jungkook what was home, he would say his mother's garden. If you asked Jimin, he would say the healer's tent. So what would happen if those two places were ripped away? Maybe two boys, who weren't quite ready to grow up, find a home in each other.

Just For Training [Re-Upload] by bangtanscreams. Words: 42303. Chapters: 23/23.  Jeon Jungkook, using his boxing alias, the Seagull, has recently beat his final opponent, the White Tiger, before entering the National Championship fight, located in the Jamsil Arena in Seoul. Park Jimin, a young masseur just beginning his dream career at the HYYH Club & Spa, and the Seagull’s die-hard fan, doesn’t expect he’d be working his magic on the boxer’s broad, and very naked shoulders, on his very first day of work. But Jimin performs his services with great enthusiasm, and Jungkook realizes that a daily full-body massage won’t really hurt his training.

International playboy (don’t answer) by blt_prf. Words: 95824. Chapters: 19/?. oH I FUCHKED UP I FU UCKED UP YOUR'E NOT NAMJOON yeah what I've been trying to tell you or the one in which Jimin manages to mess up everything in one night and accidentally texts the guy he has a crush on

in which Jimin overworks himself and Jungkook waits up for him by graesun. Words: 1144. Chapters: 1/1.  Jimin drags his feet toward the kitchen where the light over the sink remains on. He’s focused entirely on the fridge and thinking about downing one of his chocolate protein shakes when he spots Jungkook slumped over the kitchen table, his head resting on his arms and a blanket over his shoulders.

Imperfectly Perfect by whenIseeUsmile. Words: 205656. Chapters: 33/33. Jungkook just moved to Seoul and comes to a new school. He's quite naive and believes that there is good in everyone. He loves photography and always carries his camera with him. He thought his life wasn't going to change much, even though he had moved to Seoul. However, that changed, when he took a picture of a certain orange-haired boy with the brightest eye-smile he had ever seen. 

if you by amazingbees. Words: 20928. Chapters: 3/3. When Jimin was just a kid, there was a boy in his class. A boy named Jungkook. (Jimin & Jungkook go separate ways after high school. Hoseok & Taehyung won’t accept it.)

I’m Hella Obsessed With Your Face by sunrr. Words: 42547. Chapters: 6/6.  Jungkook never thought that he would see the boy he fell in love a few summer ago, ever again. Until he bumped into him at a party. (Sequel to Pink Lemonades, Tattoos, and I Love You’s)

i’ll show you how a real pro bends by calipha. Words: 29805. Chapters: 10/10. Jung Hoseok, star airbender of the Bulletproof Boys and crowd favourite for this year's probending championships is injured before a qualifying match. Not to worry though- Jimin and Taehyung are on hand, called in as last minute replacements. Shenanigans ensue.

Hate the way I don’t hate you by blt_prf. Words: 6575. Chapters: 1/1.  10 things Jimin hates about the new kid in his dancing team.

Good Boy by Narsha. Words: 94894. Chapters: 7/7.  Jungkook is homeless. Jimin is lonely.

Emotional Colors by WorldwideWriter. Words: 14214. Chapters: 1/1. An AU in which your hair color changes based on the emotions that you're experiencing. or Jimin has been way too obvious about his feelings lately and Jungkook is a hormonal young man who should know that taking off his shirt in front of Jimin is a bad idea.

Duty Calls by whalien101. Words: 11699. Chapters: 5/?.  “Everyone, greet our new team member!” “My name is Park Jimin. I look forward to working with you! Thank you in advance for your support.” He bowed, hoping his voice hadn’t betrayed any nervousness. Kim Seokjin, leader of Homicide Investigation Team 1, smiled at him approvingly.

Dilaab by ophixx. Words: 827. Chapters: 1/1. (NOTE: this is a teaser to a potential fic but I’m still very hyped for it) Prince Jungkook returns home once war is finished. But he's been out for a long, long time, that when he makes his appearance on the Jeon's manor, a little surprise awaits for the alpha. New servants being hired for the royal family, and a special scent. He doesn't know why, but the young male gets immediately addicted to it. However, the omega owning the scent is a new recruited butler, Park Jimin. From the moment they both meet, life in the palace will become a challenge. A prince and a butler should never, ever, form a bond.

100% by naxariis. Words: 8353. Chapters: 1/1. jungkook's one man mission to get jimin to finally top him.

Cherry on the Cake by pjmjjk. Words: 9131 Chapters: 1/1. “I can’t get hard.” Jimin thinks he misheard what Jungkook said for a minute but he keeps talking. “I mean I can get hard. But I just- I can’t get hard right now.” “Oh my god.” (Or, Jimin brings a boy with cherry hair home, everything is going well until he gets nervous and things become awkward.)

Basorexia by pjmjjk. Words: 9131. Chapters: 1/1.  “You think I won’t be able to get hard again?” “Well, we haven’t talked about it since last time. I don’t know if you’re ready, you haven’t told me.” “You’re right, but…” “But what?” “I wasn’t nervous before but now that you addressed the issue... I just… I don’t know, it’s easier if it comes naturally. I won’t be able to stop thinking about how I couldn’t get hard last time.” “Baby-” “It’s fucking stupid. I’m 22, I should be able to get a hard-on.” (Or, Jungkook is finally ready to try again.)

[babygirlaimo]

Friends/Strangers to lovers

(my heart beats) for you

in which jungkook, as a child, befriends the exceptionally adorable, small and friendless jimin, not knowing that after a few years, he’ll be wrecking this very boy underneath himself, making him whimper out his name.

[or jimin is so small and adorable that jungkook can’t help but befriend him, consequently falling in love with jimin and giving jimin everything which he asks for, including fucking him against their bedroom wall]

Come into my world: There’s been growing sexual tension between Jeongguk and Jimin for close to two years. Taehyung has had it with those two.

A boy like that: Jeongguk grows up with two things in mind: first, one day he is going to become an adult – he isn’t sure how soon, how abruptly this is going to be brought up onto him, but he is more than prepared – and second, you can’t get attached to people if you don’t want to get hurt.

And then he meets Park Jimin.

Cologne: In which Jungkook is in denial, and Jimin just can’t resist how good the boy looks tonight. He even sprayed cologne onto himself, you can’t blame Jimin for losing control, right?

Jungkook is forced by his TaeTae-hyung to attend one of Namjoon’s many parties. He plans to kill time by sitting in a corner, silently judge those drunken bastards while sipping on some fresh orange juice, but he doesn’t expect this to happen.

Color me blue: Jeon jungkook grew up in a rich family, a big mansion and he could have anything he wanted by the snap of his fingers, he had it all as many would like to say.

But his parents were never home and most of his childhood were spent alone only with the servants. Jungkook had it all except for happiness. Trapped in his own darkness he meets jimin. a guy with many secrets and the most complicated personality he had ever seen but the prettiest eyes.

Or

A story where jeon jungkook falls in love with park jimin’s sad eyes and learns things about the world he never knew. He learns about colors aside from black and white and experiences emotions like love and heartbreak, getting lost and finding himself in the embrace of the man he loves.

F*ck crushes: Jungkook knows crushes. They pass as quickly as they come and he knows no matter how much they hurt at the time they leave him ultimately scarless when they come to an end.

How Jungkook feels about Jimin is no crush.

Relax, Don’t Do It : Jeongguk likes to party. Jeongguk likes to party hard. When he wakes up half naked in a Denny’s parking lot, for the third time, he decides to commit to something for once and swear to be completely straight-edge for a full 90 days. That includes no partying, no late nights, and absolutely no sex. Easy until Jimin decides to crash land, literally, into his life.

Him: ‘And like the dawn, you woke the world inside of me

You were the brightest shade of sun when I saw you’

or

“I mean a muse,” explained Yoongi, eyes traveling to Hoseok. “Someone that makes you feel the shots. Not only take them.”

Jeongguk snorted. “You’re just whipped.”

“Maybe,” agreed Yoongi, winking. “But it works.”

Brave: Jimin was an ordinary, bubbly teenager that spent his days with his loving family and idiot friends.Jungkook was a mute, his life being the complete opposite to Jimin’s.

What happens when their worlds collide?Will Jimin help Jungkook? Or will he just be another addition to Jungkook’s list of disappointments?

As You Are: Jungkook’s looking for a model for his Shibari exhibition. Jimin just needs some money.

The Park siblings: Jeon JungKook moves from Busan to Seoul in his Jr. Year of Secondary School, on his very first day he meets and makes friends with a bright and outgoing student who pulls him along at his pace. He’d never met anyone like Park JiHyun, the boy had the ability to make him feel instantly at ease and comfortable with himself…

To bad his Hyeong had the opposite effect…

Glass Diamonds: Jungkook accidentally fires his skateboard through the window of a dance studio.

There is sun and spring and green forever: Jimin might have finally found someone who’s perfect for him, who can give him whatever he needs and then some. The problem being, maybe Jimin isn’t sure just what that is.

or 

“Well—will I see you again?”

Jimin tugged on the hem of his shirt, unintentionally exposing his shoulder; the bite mark Jungkook had left on him was just visible in the orange glow of the streetlights. “Please,” he answered.

Never Judge a Book by its Cover: Thanks to Jungkook’s idiot best friend, he drowned the books he borrowed from the library. Now, he has to work there to work off his debt. He doesn’t really like the job but that one boy that always has his nose burried in his books makes his days much better.Or in which Jungkook meets bookworm Jimin and falls harder than he thought he would.

Expensive Lips: Jungkook goes to Sephora on a mission to get some lipstick. He leaves completely enamored with an employee named Jimin.

Blood & Chocolate: “What if I only want you to sit on my lap?” the stranger asks, which is an odd request. People always want Jimin to dance for them. Only sometimes do they ask of him to just sit on their lap but even then he has to move in some way and not just sit still.

“Same price,” Jimin retorts.

Jungkook spreads his legs slightly and motions to his lap as if it’s the best seat that has ever been offered to Jimin. “Be my guest.”

Studio 2: Somewhere along the way, Jimin lost that passion he used to pour into his art, watching as it slipped through his very fingers. But street kid Jungkook is all heart and soul, and he’s more than willing to help Jimin learn to burn with the same fire he carries inside himself.

Ballad of a Broken Sea: Jungkook spends most of his life on the seas, running from his past, drowning himself in booze. He hides his scars behind a crisp uniform and pretty smile and convinces himself he’s okay with pretending to be the man everyone thinks he is. Until he returns to his home port, where he meets the beautiful new bartender at his usual spot who makes him question everything.

I glow pink in the night: jimin expects his summer to go by like any other: he hangs out with his friends, lazes around, and enjoys the heat. too bad he didn’t factor in jeon jungkook.

Little Little: Jungkook goes home for Christmas craving some peace and quiet, but his mom just won’t stop talking about the cute baker from her book club.

Park Jimin: Achievement of Desire: “I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience.”Jungkook really wants Jimin to be his model for the portfolio he’s been assigned to do.

or

A book written by Jeon Jungkook on how he fell in love with Park Jimin.

Love Formula: Jungkook doesn’t believe it when Taehyung and Namjoon tell him that love can be put into a formula of hormones, so the two psychology students agree to prove it to him. What Jungkook had not expected was that he would be the front man and much less that his target would be the sport department’s beauty Park Jimin. Nevertheless, he agrees to follow the plan the two psychology students have for him to prove that love can’t be bound into an equation.

A short story about the simplicity of love and hormones.

It Hurts To Love You: If the world was a manifestation of going with the flow, Jimin would be friction. As moments went by, he never moved along with them.

Nothing was good enough for him. Nobody could satisfy him for long enough. He was all edges and bitterness wrapped into a person. But there was something about Jeon Jeongguk, who had an affinity for putting his hand in flames, that called to him.

STAY: Jimin and Jungkook have been best friends for as long as either of them can remember, but - things are changing, one-sided feelings are getting out of hand, and really bad (yet really good) decisions are being made.

The question is - can their friendship withstand the test of time? Will it turn into something more, or disappear all together?...

take your shot: In which the captain of the soccer team and the captain of the swim team are known as fuckboys to some, and sluts to others. Neither of them have known what it’s like to be in a relationship, or have cared to know. Until a chaotic one-night stand results in a happy disaster.

Or: The one where Jimin and Jungkook are both bottoms, and then some feelings happen.

Walking Through a World Gone Blind: As a budding pre-law student, Jeon Jeongguk thought he had seen it all, until Park Jimin blindsides him in a bar and shows Jeongguk the world through his eyes.

Seeds of a Broken Heart:

Vorfreude (noun): a feeling of joyful anticipation for something pleasurable or something desired in the future.

OR: In the midst of training to audition for a selective and prestigious dance company, Jeon Jeongguk meets an enigmatic, big-mouthed, experienced dancer with the same passion and the same endgame – or so he thinks.

Drop Like Confetti: Park Jimin is hellbent on celebrating a breakup with his cheating ex while juggling his final semester at university. What he didn't expect was a one-night stand with Jeon Jeongguk, a successful CEO much older than Jimin with no interest in a relationship but much to offer.

blue (the way you make me feel): "You don't need a reason," Jungkook says, taking one of Jimin's hands in his. He laces their fingers together and rests their hands on his own stomach as he stares at the ceiling too. "If you want to kiss me, you can."

Jimin looks at him then and this time there's pity in his eyes. "I shouldn't," he breathes out like a confession.

"No." Jungkook licks his lips, ignoring the way his throat constricts. "But you can."

"What if I want to kiss you right now?"

or: Jimin has casual hook ups but he never kisses anyone, that's a line of intimacy he'll never cross. What will he do when his best friend Jungkook asks him for help on improving his kissing skills to impress his crush?

Point of View: “What would you say is your most prominent feature? The one everyone notices first.”

“My lips,” he answers right away.

“And what does everyone notice about your lips?"

“They’re big. People like big lips."

Jeongguk likes big lips...

-

Jeongguk wants to try something a little unconventional for his end of the year art project. He wants to paint someone he's never seen using their own description of themselves. He likes the idea, but doesn't fancy trusting a stranger in his space, and nearly scraps the project, until Taehyung informs him he knows someone trustworthy who would be perfect.

Park Jimin is awkward but sweet. A specific kind of lovely that Jeongguk can't help but become enamoured with, and as he sketches and paints different renditions of a man he can only hear, but cannot see, he becomes increasingly eager for the day when he'll finally be able to take him in with his own eyes, positive that every version he's created on paper or canvas falls remarkably short.

you made your mark on me: The hickey was accidental—a product of drunken silliness. But it leads them both to a sobering realization: they've never wanted anything more than they want each other.

Devil Dog: He hasn’t counted his kills since passing the sixth one years ago. Back then, it was the guilt that made him keep track. After the sixth time watching a body fall and knowing he caused it, Jimin accepted this as his new reality.

As for Jungkook, he's never known anything but the harsh call of war.

just one more: “Alright. Fine, just one more.”

Jimin sighs.

They don’t know he still feels remnants of love.

Remnants of love that burn up and then die after each stupid kiss. With stupid Jungkook whom he’s been in love with half his career, and then gave up on.

Or: Jimin is in love with Jungkook, but Jungkook not (yet) with him.

Yule Regret This: “Maybe you could go more than one night without getting laid and do me a favor. Think of it as a move-in gift,” Jimin says sarcastically. “Some people bring freshly baked cookies. Some people bring kimchi. You can bring goddamn silence and celibacy.”

OR

Park Jimin's new neighbor, Jeon Jeongguk, moves in at the beginning of December and has fling after fling right up against their shared bedroom walls. There's nothing merry and bright about the way Jimin knocks on Jeongguk's door to shut him up - only that he instantly regrets it and then sleeps with visions of Jeongguk dancing in his head.

little things: Jungkook is straight, obviously. He also: cooks his flatmate breakfast, cuddles with him on the regular, and gets really, really mad when his piece of shit boyfriend doesn't treat him right.

So yeah. That's all.

[shuttaapp]

Skate to create: Neal Boyd

Neal Boyd, a.k.a Grimcity, has spent more than 30 years surfing on the concrete. Although he does it mainly for fun, he has accidentally compiled an enormous experience in this field.

In this interview, we talk with Neal Boyd about skateboarding, how we got his start, his Youtube channel, the pro skaters who influenced him most, and his thoughts about the skateboarding scene.

1. Where are you originally from?

I was born in Jackson, Mississippi, raised in Jackson, Louisiana, and have lived in Hamond, Louisiana since 1995. I claim Hammond as my home. We're between New Orleans and Baton Rouge, so it's a perfect spot to be in.

2. What's your favorite quality in a person?

Honesty, ethics, and a really good sense of humor.

3. How and when did you discover skateboarding?

When I was 10 years old, I lived in a really small, rural neighborhood. One of my my neighbors had bought a skateboard for his kid, but it never got used. We lived on top of a hill, and as I played with it I eventually was given permission to use it whenever I wanted to. It was basically given to me. The year was 1985.

4. Where does your online name “grimcity” come from?

When I was in college, I self-published a comic book for a little over a year… It was violent, but also very, very comedic. The name of the city where all the action took place in was “Grim City.” I'd also created a comic strip character that I'd used for comic strips (and the comic book) named “Grim,” so in the relatively early days of the internet I just used “grimcity” as my online persona.

Some of my friends call me Grim in real life, though I'm completely the opposite of a grim person… I'm actually very geeky and goofy and I have a lot of love for everything. My nature is very positive, so the nickname “Grim” and “grimcity” is kind've a joke in and of itself.

5. What was your first board and your first memory of skateboarding?

The first board I can claim was the one my neighbor (Mr. Tom) basically gave to me… It was a Variflex he'd bought for his own kid, but he let me ride it as much as I wanted to. I feel in love with it more than his little one did, so I really owe him a lot... He literally exposed me to skateboarding.

After that I had a Nash from a a department store (due to not having any money), but my first pro board was a Jeff Grosso from Santa Cruz. He's a living legend, and I've been fortunate enough to hang out with him. Really love that guy.

My first memory of skating was really just being a little 10 year old kid going really fast down the hills surrounding where I lived. We were a small town, and this was pre-internet, so I didn't even know how big skating was back then.

6. You created a Youtube channel which already has more than 4.000 subscribers and a 100 videos. Tell us a little bit about it. What is the main purpose of the channel?

The channel has actually been around for a while now… A little over 10 years I think? When I first started it it was simply to store videos because my hard drives were running out of space. After that, I got into doing really in-depth skate product reviews, and though I've slacked on that a bit, my focus lately has been making self-filmed skate videos with a focus on composition, color, and framing. If you look at my later videos with the eyes of a photographer, rather than a videographer or even a skateboarder for that matter, it makes more sense.

7. Who has been your biggest influence on your skateboarding?

When I was a kid, everyone was an influence… I wanted to ollie as high as Natas Kaupas, become an all terrain guy like The Gonz, skate fast like Tommy Guerro, float in the air like Hosoi, be as funny as Grosso, and skate as raw as all of the Sick Boys, who were a group of guys from San Francisco (some already mentioned) that included Jim Thiebaud, Julien Stranger, Ron Allen, Mickey Reyes, Archimedes, and a huge list of other people.

These days I'm a lot older, but I'm still influenced by a lot of people. Jim Thiebaud and I wound up becoming really good friends several years back, as well as my man Mickey Reyes. They run my favorite skateboard company (Deluxe) and even if I'd never met them, I'd be riding everything they make, including Real Skateboards, Thunder trucks, and Spitfire wheels. They have a huge influence on me because the company uses skateboarding to help people in need, from helping hurricane victims to providing money to facilities that help kids beat cancer.

I'm also heavily influence by the younger skaters that I roll with here in my city. I've seen them develop from wobbly-legged beginners to absolute skate machines over the years. I thrive on that. Many of these kids have tricks that I will never, ever be able to land, but that's part of passing the torch. I love my Hammond locals, and they push me as hard as I push them to progress in our own respective ways.

8. What's your favorite trick and who do you think does a perfect version of that trick?

I have two: the first one is the Ollie Impossible, and the perfect ones were done by Dylan Rieder who sadly passed away in 2016. Secondly, I love doing simple little kickflips, and to see them done perfectly, I stare in awe whenever Dennis Busenitz does them (or any variation of them).

9. Are Pro skaters role models?

Pro skaters are just like everybody else. If they are role models, I don't think they mean to be. Having said, they're definitely influential. I think kids try to emulate the tricks and styles they see from pros, but as with everyone, we have our good and bad sides. If I were to direct a kid towards someone who might be a role model both in the act of skateboarding as well as just being a good person, I'd list them as follows:

1. Daewon Song: He's the embodiment of progression, and he's a genuinely good person. He's about as old as I am, and like me, he's still a kid at heart that just wants to skate.

2. John Cardiel: His energy, positivity, and drive are the embodiment of what skateboarding is. He's a legend, and if you were to ask most pro skaters who their favorite pro was, they'd say Cardiel. He suffered a catastrophic injury which was supposed to make him unable to walk again, but he defeated it. When you watch any of his old footage, it compels you to get up, grab your board, and go for it.

3. Rodney Mullen: He invented most of the street tricks we do today, but more importantly to me, he's always continuing his education in other areas, including higher maths and architecture. It's one thing to simply become a better skateboarder, but it's also important to expand your knowledge base with other subjects, from the arts to astrophysics. Knowledge is easy to access today, and if you're not skating, I recommend reading a good non-fiction book or at least listening to an academic lecture on any given topic on You Tube. Lots of universities post lectures online, so there's no reason not to get a better understanding of the world. I watch or listen to at least one lecture a day, and on weekends I try to get at least two.

10. What's your go-to spot?

I live right around the corner from the concrete park I shoot video at in my YouTube and Instagram videos, but one of my favorite places (which I've documented a lot online, including Shutta) is a yellow parking curb next to a fountain. It's simply a curb in a secluded location where I can go and clear my head.

11. Who do you usually skate with?

Our local park is a family… The Dreamland squad. We have a couple of crews inside that family, namely the Therapy crew and the False Teeth crew. I also skate with a ton of friends from New Orleans, Baton Rouge, and Lafayette.

12. Have you ever joined a competition?

I have, but I'm not really a competitive skater. Most of the contests I've entered have been here in Louisiana, so for us it's not so much about winning as it is an opportunity to see everyone you know and have a really good time. Our contests are more like family reunions.

13. As one of the best skaters in the app and winner of one #ShuttaMission, explain to us how has your experience been when taking photos with Shutta.

I'd hate being known as one of the best skaters using the app! I prefer thinking I'm the best at having fun at skating, which is hopefully a sentiment shared by every skater!

I sincerely love the app, and am working on a video about it to get some more skaters involved with it. I started using Shutta before the user interface was redesigned, and still use it when I'm out recording. It's better at getting precise screen captures from videos than taking stills directly from the iPhone, the wheel tool that allows you to scrub through the timeline is brilliant. A lot of skateboard tricks are less than a second long (like jumping over something), and the “peak” part of that trick is probably down into the milliseconds… So being able to easily get to the exact moment you want to capture is just the best. I also like that I get an image saved to my camera's library, and simultaneously get to share it with an international community of people that get hyped when they see something new.

I'm also very appreciative that Shutta picked me as a winner for the “Freeze” contest. I'm a geek by nature, and the Tomtom Bandit camera is really well made. I've been using it a ton! I still can't believe I believe I won something like this by just going out in my town and skating like I always do. There are aspects of it that I prefer over my GoPro and my iPhone, so it's with me everywhere I go, even if I'm not skateboarding.

14. Any views on the skateboarding scene?

On a local level, I'm extremely happy that skaters today have it easier than my generation did. Skateboarding in the states wasn't looked at positively by a large swath of society for a long time, it was all underground, and growing up, I got into a ton of fights with people who would literally walk up to aggressively and instigate violence. We were punk rock/hip hop street kids that skated and ate concrete for fun, so we always had to handle confrontations as best we could. These days, there's been a mainstreaming of skateboarding that has allowed it to progress in ways I never thought it would, but I'm a bit conflicted, if not hypocritical of it. On one hand, I love that there are skateparks popping up everywhere, but on the other I hate seeing the media portray skateboarding as a sport, and I don't like the idea of it being in the Olympics. I'm glad that there's a boost of revenue for the pro skaters and skate companies that benefit from all of this exposure, but the old sentimental side of me still kind've misses the anti-establishment nature that skating had when I got into it.

15. What do you have planned for the near future?

My plans today are the same as they always have been… I want to push myself in whatever direction skateboarding takes me, and I want to do what I can at being a better person in general. I just want to be a good global neighbor, be the best at what I do professionally (computer geekery), and hopefully help the up and coming skaters in my area know more about the roots of skateboarding. The main goal is to ensure that the kids I skate with now become really old skaters like me.

Go follow Neal Boyd on Shutta and subscribe to his Youtube channel to see more!

All pics by Neal Boyd.