#anyway the point is this is a world where even men like izzy can Get It Together

[izzyspussy]

honestly i think the root of ed and izzy's communication problems was not that they were unwilling to talk about their thoughts and feelings to each other - although of course that is also true and certainly didn't help. no, the root of the problem, and the foundation of their relationship dysfunction, is that they don't think they need to talk about it. they each think the other one already knows.

see, izzy thinks he's simple and ed's complex. it's not that izzy's unintelligent, in fact he'd say he's quite clever, and frankly smarter than most of the men he's sailed with (in his opinion). but he thinks in one fucking straight line, and- well, he frequently doesn't understand even his own feelings, but it seems safe to assume they follow generally the same path. it's just that one straight line, point a to point b, and that's it. no matter how much he tries to bend or take a different direction he just can't do it without someone else dragging him along every step of the way. it's just a matter of fact that he could never understand ed, who is so much more complex and dynamic that he's practically a higher life form. no one would ever expect him to, not without a detailed guide. but of course since ed can think every which way like breathing, looking down izzy's straight line is surely the easiest thing in the world. so obviously ed always knows how izzy will take things. and when ed says or does something that doesn't make sense to izzy and ed doesn't enlighten him, ed is choosing to withhold an explanation. forcing izzy to have to guess, or setting him up to fail completely. maybe to humble him or maybe to punish him, or maybe just to remind izzy (again) that they may be fucking and they might even possibly be friends but they're not lovers and izzy's desire to be so is definitely unrequited.

meanwhile, ed thinks he's nuts and izzy's sensible. it's not all bad to be nuts, you know the line between genius and insanity and yada ya. most of the time he likes being different, he likes being chaotic, kind of indecipherable, ineffable like a god. to most people anyway. because most people are a little bit nuts too, but just a little bit, not enough to do anything really interesting or cool with like ed (also not enough to be as volatile as ed, as dangerous. inhumane - you know, like a god). but not izzy. like obviously izzy has flaws. he's temperamental and high strung and he's got a chip on his shoulder almost as big as he is and he can be absolutely fucking ruthless. but he's logical. he makes sense, and he always notices the little fucking details ed misses and he never loses track of anything. he's so neatly put together and he makes everything around him fall into order too - the ledger, the store rooms, the men (or so ed thinks). obviously if izzy can be so objective about all that shit, he can do that with ed too, solve for him in his head like he does with sums. hell, izzy's so meticulous - and so obsessed with ed - he probably understands ed better than ed himself half the time. he must have all of ed's feelings mapped out like the ship's course. if he ever seems not to get ed, it's only because he's decided ed's feelings are just too fussy and convoluted to humor, or else he thinks they're not even worth pinning down in the first place.

so izzy resents ed for tricking him and for rubbing his nose in his shortcomings, and he never tells ed he feels that way because the only thing bitching about it will accomplish is for izzy to look weak as well as foolish. and ed resents izzy for judging him and ignoring the parts of ed he doesn't like, and he never tells izzy he feels that way because izzy would just double down and tell him to get over it.

the fact that they've spent the majority of their lives in a dog-eat-dog world of treachery and gratuitous violence where any vulnerability is taken advantage of and/or belittled is just one of many icings on top.

[lilyrizzy]

From my own cloud: Daniel on the phone struggling to articulate the issues they're having (before anything is ever public)!

Sorry mate this is kinda different than what you asked for but it ran away with me... Hope you like it anyway! Thank you to @catofthecanals289 for helping me with the ending, ly girl

Cw: implied past trauma but like everything is so vague, nothing specific!

Calling home has always been like pressing on a bruise. One already turned yellow-green at the edges, the pain long gone and replaced with a dull ache. A reminder of hurt more than the real thing.

Outside on their balcony, the November night is colder than the temperatures Daniel usually subjects himself to, but inside Max is sleeping. Picturing his mum as her tinny voice chatters away in his ear, it's easy. Halfway across the world, sunny's on and feet up, his dad lighting the barbecue in the yard. Both of them warm, the way he hopes Max is too, buried in their bedsheets.

"How's Izzy, how's Isaac?" Daniel asks, running through all the obligatory questions. He's not uninterested in the answers, just- It's more that the answers never change. "How's Michelle? Dad?"

Everyone is fine, fine, fine, fine according to his mum, and everyone is more 'worried about you Danny'. Her questions are always the same as well. Is he eating enough, is he sleeping enough? Did he see the photo Michelle posted on 'the cloud thing,' and didn't Daniel think it was cute?

Except-

"Are you really not coming home for Christmas?"

The bluntness shouldn't startle him, not after years of living with Max, of more spent growing up with his mum.

You'd like each other, he thinks not for the first time, if you really got to know each other.

He kind of wants that more than anything. To explain Max in a way that would make her love him too, but he knows the eyes through which she sees Max are different to Daniel's in a way that's impossible to resolve.

If he knew how to, he'd explain that Max can drag a laugh out from the belly of him in a way that no one else can. Most of the time without even meaning to. That he's honest in a way that is very rarely cruel, and so when he does come out with some cutting remark you know it's deserved. That when he first moved Jimmy and Sassy into Daniel's apartment, he slept belly-down on  the floor in front of the sofa which Sassy hid underneath, hand holding a battered felt mouse out to her, so she will know of course, that this is home now.

That Daniel maybe thinks he knows what love, deep fucking life-changing love is because of Max.

"Yeah mum, I'm really not coming home for Christmas," he says instead because he also knows what it's like to listen to someone- Michael usually- wax poetic about their partner and think can't you just get to the fucking point already, mate.

There's a disapproving pause that Daniel uses to consider how dirty the grout between the tiles of their balcony is. To contemplate how and where he could hire a jet wash from, so Max doesn't have to do his workouts with Brad an inch away from what he is increasingly worrying might be black mould.

"I don't think it's very healthy, Daniel," she says evenly, and it's showtime if his full name is being used. "The two of you alone in you're apartment, no family, no-"

"Mum," he interrupts, the words muffled around the nail bed he's chewing on, "Max asked me to stay, I'm staying. It's not really up for like, discussion."

"Sweetheart, we just- Issac and Izzy were so excited to have you home."

He laughs, not mean or anything it's just- Funny.

"Come on," he tries, aiming for lighthearted but no doubt missing the mark enough to have him flaming out and into the boards, "you can't plead with me to leave good old bachelor Ric behind me and then throw a wobbler you guys are no longer number one."

"Can't you bring him home with you?" She tries stubbornly as ever, and Jesus what is that saying about men marrying people that are like their mothers?

"No," he says, shaking his head though she can see it. "Mum, please- He asked me for this. Don't try to make me feel guilty for giving it to him."

"He should think about what you want too, honey," she rounds, and it's a close call to Daniel throwing his phone off the balcony and into the sea, but- It's not fair. It's not her fault.

After all, there are other things he can't explain. How Max still flinches sometimes when Daniel reaches for him in bed, then says sorry so quickly in a miserable-sounding voice, it's like he believes he's running out of chances. Like he's not the fucking, heart line on Daniel's palm, the artery pumping his blood, or whatever else the shitty love songs on the radio talk about.

"He does mum, he-"

Rubber screeches against glass as the door behind him slides open, and before Daniel has even turned all the way around Max is saying his name like a question. Stood in the doorway in Daniel's too-big merch, he would look like every one of Daniel's romantic dreamings come to life if not for the tightness of his jaw, and the height of his shoulders.

"Hey baby," he says, voice softer than anything he's been using so far on the phone. He tries not to cringe. "Just talking to mama, is everything-"

"Can you come back to bed?" Max interrupts a little desperate sounding. Shifting from one foot to the other, he won't quite meet Daniel's eye. Instead, they focus on a spot behind Daniel, the shine of the inky sea in the moonlight most likely.

Daniel doesn't hesitate. He knows what Max's nightmares look like. Wishes he could siphon them from Max's brain into his own, one less hurt for Max to feel, one more way to know him better.

"Mama, I gotta go," he says, and he can hear her protests even as he presses the button to end the call.

In Daniel's arms, Max presses his face to the hollow of his throat, lips catching against the stubble there as he says, "sorry." Then, "I woke up and I wanted you here."

It's not always like that. Some nights, he wakes up from sweating and writhing and Daniel knows not to touch.

Now, he kisses Max's forehead, leads him back to bed and tells him the same as always.

"I'm always here, Maxy. Promise."

[lavendershazy]

current ncis idea list for posterity idk

my terribly disloyal adhd brain wants to write more ncis fics now that I'm well into my rewatch. disregarding how behind I am on every wip that already exists. literally barely managing single chapters every few weeks and my brain wants to spit out soooo many ideas ugh. especially bc there's so much that I wish happened that we never see, even when we can imagine it's happening off-screen, and I'd love to write so much lol.

so on top of the ideas in progress, almost all for other shows, my brain wants me to write:

-ziva breaking down when she's close to having tali and trying to come home, only to be in the hospital because of the flight, and give tony's info to the hospital as her emergency contact. he gets the work call and immediately heads out because it's a family emergency. he, gibbs, and senior get to be there for baby tali's world debut, and the team family meets them at tony's place when they return to the country.

-qasim surviving the attempt on his life and living to be ellie's official fiance and future husband

-ellie and nick goat yoga - among other lowkey kinda-dates. esp if accompanied by a slowly increasing interest from the other team members (and including someone chewing nick out for acting like there's no reason for men and women to be platonic friends, esp when he's trying to say they're having very platonic time spent bonding together, oops, pick one)

-ellie and nick, too-long stakeout in a home. trying not to be too domestic, but ellie keeps thinking about and mentioning when she and jake moved in together and it's getting awkward.

-sloane/izzy sapphic surfer times, with a side of interagency noncooperation.

-reeves' aa experiences and pieces of that scotland trip with ellie

-reeves', abby's, and kasie's volunteering, ducky's book tour and following vacation.

-post-what-child-is-this ellie and nick oopsie baby. gibbs having a different idea of how to tread with an in-team relationship than he did for tony and ziva, let alone him and jenny. still being peak protective dad mode. (remarks to himself about how apparently none of his kids use proper protection, despite being good at protecting themselves otherwise.) everyone having fun with them learning to be parents, once the not-quite-shock subsides. team being advisors, esp as they figure out that things aren't really casual, they're just scared of feelings.

-earlier people with relationships to the team coming back.

like maddie (kelly's long-ago best friend) being in contact with gibbs as she continues about her life, graduates school, gets married, etc. mcgee's little brother from that program growing up. the mentees that torres had, like max whose dad was an agent who died in the navy yard bombing? jeanne and her husband being points of contact on more cases in africa.

sarah mcgee! finishing her degree and getting to work, eating her weird pizza. what is/was her relationship with the admiral or with penny like? what is delilah's sister like? where are leyla and amira?

god, there are so many ideas.

anyway, I'll probably not get around to it. so if you write any of these, especially if you're inspired by this post, maybe let me know? no pressure.

[handelplayssims]

Izzy wakes up! Cameron gets home from work! The two ships pass in the early morning. Izzy is off to school and Lara wakes up. Her first whim is to actually fish and it’s a bit too cold for that, alas. But there are some winter and snow activities I’ve been ignoring. Such as playing in the snow, making snow men, having snowball fights! That stuff! Could also totally have her try to snowboard or ski! But all of this is ignoring that it’s two hours until work for her. A snow angel sounds nice though. ...and then I noticed the wind turbine needs repairs. Again. Alas. It has been blizzarding so it ain’t good conditions for it in the first place. To work with Lara!

Dang! Izzy’s angry after coming home from school! My plan was to go and meet some other kids to hang out at but man! She’s mad! I mean, she can still go somewhere actually. Totally can! Between the library and the park...we’re going library! And do you know what she immediately does at the library? Have a tantrum. I mean, I was going to have her kick a trashcan but she can’t do that yet as a child. She’s also feeling hungry so I have her order a chocolate chip cookie and a hot cocoa from a winter food stall stand nearby. Anyway, instead of reading a book, which I will do, I noticed a familiar face.

Soren Dye, the fellow she met with at GeekCon! He’s tense, she’s angry, and yet I must befriend him! Gotta get those two adult friendships! ...there are weather socials to declare preferences for wind, snow and ecetera. I do think Izzy’s gotten annoyed at the blizzards but I don’t know about the snow. I’m just going to declare a preferance for warmer temperatures for now. Thankfully, after a bit of talking, the energized moodlet kicked in. It took a bit more chatting, but I finally got the two to be friends! Woo! One step down! Right when it became 8PM, where the only people around are Soren and the librarian. But still, we can read a book to boost her fun. Besides which, her parents haven’t set a curfew for her! Most households do have some thing but hers are a lot more lenient. Believe their little scientist shall explore the world! And so she stays out until past midnight! Yaaay! Sims is slightly unrealistic like that, if I make it so.

Anyway, back home and Cameron’s first whim is to try for baby with Lara. Eh. I would have him be romantic with her, and I do have him kiss her cheek but she needs sleep. His second whim is to...have a nerdy discussion with another geek! Well, there is one specific other geek in Windenburg. ‘bout time he introduced himself to her.

It’s Yuki Behr! Fellow nerd and geek! Also fellow computer nerd. Also also, a vampire. ...Vlad got to her. She’d still make a good chess opponent since she’s, you know, actually awake at this time compared to others. And Cameron does have that odd sleep schedule. So I just had them chat over chess and play chess and try to befriend her. I even tried to share astronomy knowledge...not realizing the sun was out and as such she’d fry! Quickly backed out of that! Anyway, a few more socials and I realized the two were friends. Time to go home! And time for-

Neighborhood Watch!

Alexia Orr in the Orr household has died. Alexia had her last laugh.

Strangerville: The Cruz household moved out.

Was expecting that at some point! Farewell and may you all enjoy your time in the nebulous nature of the unplayed households!

Fetu Tilo in the Tilo household has started a job as a Live Chat Support Agent in the Tech Guru career.

Ai Fujita in the Fujita household has died. Ai let it go and froze solid.

[knowlesian]

so: the closet scene! i’ve been mad at this stupid closet scene for SO LONG. i still don’t entirely know how i feel about it, to be honest. whenever i do, i find a new angle i hadn’t considered and have to think about it that way. i’ve got a couple things i’m fairly steady about and a whole heap more that sound out there even to me, because my whole brain gives up on linear thinking and goes all-in on muppet-esque leaps of logic when i try to sort out any given thought. 

i need to acknowledge the visual joke here before i even deal with taking it seriously. it’s so broad it’s like... i don’t know, a visual gag version of taking a pie to the face. this takes the implied knocking boots joke by the throat and says “i can do better.” stede 10000000% literally takes ed into his secret closet of fancy gay things. this sweet, sad little man who is so metaphorically closeted at the moment he’s in fucking narnia, is taking ed into his actual factual closet to hang out. and then they stay there even longer so they can be gay together away from izzy, #1 pooper of parties.

i mean, what am i supposed to say? that’s funny. it just is, i don’t make these rules. it’s really, really fucking funny. 

then it’s not, because oh wait: what leads up to this moment in the closet makes the obvious “hah hah, two gay dudes in maybe the gayest closet the good lord ever did make” joke into something a lot more textured. they’re very good at this! i have said it before, and i will say it again. i will meet these writers in the parking lot of a denny’s!!!! 

stede’s never been told anything he loves is right for him. none of it matters. it’s all soft and silly and frivolous and weak. worst of it: it’s fucking girly. because of some very stupid rules a bunch of dead people made up in part to make sure the generational wealth that gave stede these nice things stayed the fuck put where it was already at, he can’t get caught enjoying them or risk being shamed for it. 

there’s something really sad and complicated and fucked up about that that won’t stop eating at me. maybe it’s the way they’re digging into the complications that arise when privilege and marginalization beat in same breast, maybe it's all the juicy class stuff, maybe it’s the nodding at toxic masculinity and the way patriarchy likes to stab a knife into its own emotional guts while reaping practical/systemic benefits at once thing. (i guess if the patriarchy had emotional literacy i wouldn’t need to know the word patriarchy, because it wouldn’t be such a fucking problem! love to live in a society, i really do.) i don’t know what i think it all actually means now, but maybe someday.

what i do know is the way stede says “rather exquisite cashmere” is unfair. because that’s what it is: cashmere that is rather exquisite. he’s describing the world as he sees it, and up until now every single response he’s gotten to saying anything like that has been “fucking... christ with this one, and his gay little scarves and shit.” sometimes they phrase it more kindly, but nobody ever gets it.

so stede holds his breath there, hoping he’s not going to be mocked, but his face when it’s even better than that kills me. ed doesn’t just nod and take stede’s way of expressing himself in stride; he repeats the words back to him. he decides he likes the way they feel in his mouth, far better than izzy’s demands he stick to harsher, guttural tones.

the way this show deals with communication and words as a method of love or shelter really does kill me. the jim and olu of it all is literally always killing me softly, and this just kicks my feelings up a notch. 

on this show, to love someone is to find out you had the same words in your heart all along, you were just waiting for someone to understand them. that’s pretty fuckin’ rad.

anyway, then ed rubs the rather exquisite cashmere on his fucking face and the music gets all lighthearted and “this is the scene where they start falling in love, you know this cue, let’s ROLL, we are DOING THIS.” i mean... come ON.

and stede is so HAPPY! he loves his pretty things, his soft beds and fine fabrics, and he’s never had a single person reflect that back to him. and here ed is, not just listening, but agreeing; he does fancy a fine fabric. (the fact that at this point in the narrative stede’s self-concept is still pretty tied to his material goods and here ed is like “yes. fine fabrics. i like them. and since you feel as though your personhood is coupled with these fabrics, i also like you.” is Very Nice.)

(god, i can’t wait for s2. what's the version of this scene where stede is the one validating ed’s Whole Thing going to look like, i don’t know but god i need it.)

the little gasp stede lets out after “i think i do, yeah” is... mean. it’s mean. what if i never do anything but obsess over the little details of this insanely talented cast acting their faces off? that feels like a valid choice. the way rhys does this adorable little lean and looks like a kid about to show off his ant farm to the first person alive who also finds ants as interesting as he does, equally mean. 

and the purple shelving in the closet? FUCK THIS CREATIVE TEAM. JESUS. the use of purple as ed grows more comfortable just being ed is fucking next level.

honestly, i know this level of textual analysis isn’t for everybody and a lot of my dear, dear friends are largely like “that’s nice, sarah, we don’t give a single fuck about the use of purple” but when a show like this comes along, it feels like a sin not to appreciate all the hard work they put into the little stuff.

speaking of: time for izzy to rock up and take things into the fucking thematic stratosphere.

there’s something really fascinating to me about the casting on izzy, and the general choice to make our one Homophobic Gay the white guy who looks and acts most like the fulfillment of patriarchal power fantasies but is actually a sad little gremlin idiot who wants to fuck other men so bad it makes him look stupid. izzy never heard the good word about how you can be a monster and a lighthouse if you want, depending on the day, because as discussed: he’s from a canon where the dicks don’t touch.

less flippantly, there’s also a lot to be said about how his dynamic with ed is exploring some pretty intense thematic waters re: the intersection of race and sexuality, the long and so-very unavoidable history of white people divebombing in and fucking up indigenous cultures and their understanding of gender and sexuality with weird repressed jesus shit, and how izzy who is a white man even while being gay and ed who is not have wildly difference lived experiences of the same sexuality. i need to rewatch izzy and ed’s scenes with that in mind to sort out any more eloquent thoughts other than ‘oh shit, they went there?’ and ‘holy shit, they go HARD’. not mentioning it’s in the mix feels wrong, though, so i want to at least point it out as something the show is doing really, really well.

i like it even more because we’ve got stede and lucius and pete knocking around also being super gay white guys, so that marks izzy out as particularly in denial and out of step with the times.

the whole 'and now we’re not just checking out your fun little room, we are officially hiding in the closet from izzy’ kicks into high gear when you think about it that way. the obvious “yes, we see they’re hiding from the one character who doesn’t understand the show he's now on”, literally closeted metaphor works there, but it’s not a despairing or fearful scene.

just the phrase “in the closet” is something that brings up a lot of weird baggage for some of us in the soup, especially those who have Been Around A While; there’s a vague sensing of shaming to the way I’ve most often heard it used throughout my life. we tend to heap our scorn or pity and Hot Takes on the person still lingering behind the doorway, because they’re a coward. they’re not being authentic. they’re weak, and they’re not to be trusted. 

(and don’t even get me started on people inside our own fucking clubhouse outing people. the fact that perez hilton is still wandering around, pretending he’s all cute and refusing to reckon with the damage he did bothers me every single fucking day.)

why we do that shit to each other sometimes is a whoooooole thesis i’m in no way qualified to write, but: we do! we tear at each other, trying to yank open the door before someone else is ready.

so here these two men are, hiding in a closet; stede already spends most of his time in here, and ed doesn’t want to deal with izzy, striding around telling him it’s time to man the fuck up and Do A Toxic Pirate Masculinity. but since izzy needs ed to be the same as him so badly he’ll die trying to make it happen if he doesn’t get some fucking therapy and stop trying to enforce his rules on other people’s lives, ed hides in stede’s gay little closet with him and they enjoy the stuff they’re not supposed to enjoy, together.

i really like that. it’s not the more-familiar “it Doesn’t Matter, we are all Just People, so you should live your life in secret, being honest is shoving it in our faces so just be quiet and let us pretend you aren’t withering away” (which is the other nasty little barb we swallow on the whole scorn for the closeted thing; we don’t blame the team who built the damn house, we blame the person trapped inside it) but instead it’s allowing that sometimes you need these softer, secret spaces where people speak your love languages on instinct and you can figure out who you are while being sheltered, not locked away.

the whole “stede’s closet is accessed by a secret passage and when you think about it, this whole dumb ship is his closet, gayass unicorn and all so maybe NONE of this is happening in a closet, it’s a liminal space instead” angle feels like i’ll die if i attempt to parse it out with that spin in mind, so i’ll just say: jesus fuck. jesus fucking fuck, with this show.

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

the way izzy was received by this fandom rlly is the worst combo of how fans responded to kylo ren and how fans responded to, like, tyler durden or walter white.

anything i could say comparing izzy fans and kylo fans was already said in this fucking incredible post by @chuplayswithfire. but basically: izzy is a huge cunt to everyone in this show but fans take him at his word when he talks about being hardworking and competent, they minimize and excuse his actions and act like he's an innocent traumatized baby, and they focus on him, a shitty white antagonist, instead of any of the other interesting characters of color they could be paying attention to

but imo the thing that rlly makes a difference between izzy and kylo, and the thing that makes me compare him to those other two white dudes i mentioned above, is that unlike the movies kylo ren is in, ofmd is actually well-written

the first movie in the star wars sequel trilogy was pitched, written, filmed, and literally released with no ending for the trilogy in mind. the writing for the next movies was adjusted based on fan reactions, and major plot points were decided by studio executives deciding which events would make the movie more profitable. i should not have to explain to you that this is a terrible way to write a movie series. or a television series. or literally any kind of fucking story in the world.

our flag means death, or what we have of it so far, is not that. there's fully developed characters with given realistic motivations, instead of one-dimensional props that are jerked around by a constant tug-of-war between writers, directors, and studio executives. there are narrative plot points that are woven expertly throughout the story, not hints of storylines that are completely forgotten about by the next franchise, or storylines that were finished that are getting dug up again. there's a central theme to ofmd, unlike the new star wars movies, where the theme seems to be "how can we milk this fucking franchise for all it's worth." there's no goddamn queerbaiting

i'll admit that i've never actually seen breaking bad, and everything i know about it i've learned via tumblr osmosis. but from what i can tell, it's actually a very well-written show, and the whole point of the show is that walter white is the epitome of entitled and abusive white man who thinks he's super tough and badass and that everyone should listen to him and do whatever he tells them to do (lmao, sound familiar?). he ruins his life and the lives of everyone around him and idk he might die in the end. anyway dont do drugs.

fight club i have seen, and i can confirm that this is a fantastic movie that features, you guessed it, an arrogant white guy who represents the classic violent male power fantasy. the narrator, deeply depressed because he's a beta male, watches jealously from the sidelines as tyler durden starts seeking violence, first from just meeting up with random guys for consensual beatdowns, but it escalates as more and more men start joining the fight club (wow! the title of the movie!) until the club morphs into a terrorist group. also if you haven't seen it there's a Big Plot Twist that i haven't mentioned and it's pretty good. love that movie.

anyway the point is that both of those men are very obviously. shitty fucking guys. classic macho men (even tho tyler durden's fashion sense is fantastically fruity, for some reason) who crave power over others and respect in the form of fear. the whole point of their fucking characters is that in any generic action movie, they would be the heroes

and so many fans just. completely fucking miss this. there are hoards of dudebro fan guys who relate to these characters and go "wow, he's just like me!" and absolutely do not get the point of the thing they're watching. it is fucking baffling to see

anyway that's izzy stans!! an truly groundbreaking combo of your classic female fans who woobify evil white men and classic male fans who miss the entire point of characters who are written to subvert the expectations of what kind of role a character like izzy hands, walter white, or tyler durden would be expected to play!!!!! izzy hands is written to be an antagonist and the personification of toxic masculinity that ed is trying to escape from, and yet people are acting like he's the show's third protagonist.

because izzy would be a protagonist, in a different and much shittier story. and even though we all watched the same show where he very clearly is not the protagonist, people are applying that role to izzy and not actually looking at what role he plays in this show.

[chuplayswithfire]

hello! i found your blog recently and have really enjoyed reading your meta - specifically re: your recent post about izzy and the comment that - "its to izzy’s credit that i dont think he gathered that this was what was occurring" as someone who has complicated feelings about izzy but ultimately enjoys him as a character (even though i'd hate him if i met him IRL), i spend a lot of time thinking about what i want out of izzy's storyline/character progression in future seasons. i think there's so much we don't know about him and so much that could be done, and i would love to see him have the opportunity to grow and change - and i think the way he got everything he thought he wanted and now everything is a fucking mess because of it has the opportunity to be a catalyst for that. this may be grasping at straws but at least based on that post, it doesn't seem like you think he's beyond the point of change i guess? (using "change" specifically since idk that "redemption" is the right word and i can't think of a better one.) i think in a show about found family and community care, i would love to see izzy have the opportunity to try to become better and maybe try to right the wrongs he's caused as much as is possible. i think the idea that someone who has caused harm has the opportunity to realize that harm and want to become better is an interesting storyline that the writers of ofmd could really do justice to. but i will grant that i'm maybe somewhat biased since i personally think he has potential and i just want him to become a better person, haha. basically, i'm sending this ask bc i appreciate your perspective and the meta you've already written, and i'm curious if you think this is possible for his character? if you do, what do you think that might look like? if not, what would you want to see the writers do with him instead? (anyway, i hope this ask is not a bother and you definitely don't have to take the time to answer it - i'd just be interested in your opinion if you wanted to!)

Firstly, thank you for reaching out! Your ask isn't a bother, though I won't lie I at first was a bit surprised to be receiving the question, but...

My thoughts on Izzy are complex, partly because if Izzy Hands were a real person i would want to run as far away from him as possible, given he's practically the human manifestation of sublimating your worst impulses onto other people, being overly possessive and entitled to another person, and also like, *super* invested in toxic masculinity and homophobia. He reminds me of the no fats no femmes type of guys I met when I worked at the Pride Center for my university.

But Izzy Hands is NOT a real person, he's a character, so I can engage with him in a way that feels more compassionate and kind than I would Izzy Hands if he were a real person. He's make believe, he's a part to play, he's a role within a wider narrative. And in that role and narrative, I do think that it's probable that Izzy will change for the better. I think this because OFMD has a pretty hopeful bent to it, a pretty reparative/restorative justice tinge rather than a punitive tinge to it, but mostly I think so because Ed and Stede are the main characters of this story, and I think it would do a lot for Ed's healing and journey for Izzy to grow enough to apologize and then get out of Ed's life.

I personally do not see a world where Izzy and Ed stay on the same ship and Ed is able to be emotionally safe, secure, happy and in love with Stede, just because all of those are kinda against Izzy's own interests, and as much as I do have some compassion for Izzy, OFMD asked me to love a LOT of white men lmao and Stede is the problematic white man who takes up all my bandwidth. I have nothing left for Izzy but an exasperation at how determined this man is to wreck Ed because he's too scared of change to give it a try.

tldr: I do think the show will write Izzy in a direction of positive change, because this would be beneficial to the narrative and especially to Ed's healing.

[thechangeling]

Ok so a conversation @littlx-songbxrd and I were having made me remember something I was ranting about to a friend of mine once.

Brace yourselves this is going to be long. I'm sorry.

The sexism, homophobia and racism of the shadoworld straight up doesn't make sense and here's why. So if we start chronologically with the infernal devices. There is sexism towards Charlotte right? People don't want her running the institute and they don't want her becoming the consul because she is a woman. But the Clave has no problem letting women train and fight. This doesn't really make sense in my opinion.

Now you could argue that it's because they believe woman can be string capable fighters just not rational thinkers. Which is weird because in my experience you don't meet a lot of people who are "partially sexist" in that way. Like if a man believes a woman can't do high profile, high paying jobs then they usually also don't want them in the military. Anyways moving on, there aren't any mentions of homophobia in TID, mostly because they're arent any queer characters except Magnus and Woolsey.

But something interesting to point out is that none of the characters who know about Magnus and Woolsey ever comment on it really. And following this point, none of the mains display any signs of misogyny either really. (Except for what Will says to Tessa at the end of CA but that was because of the "curse.") You could argue that this is because they're the protagonists so they are supposed to be better then that. But accidental microaggressions are pretty common especially during that time period. More on that later.

Moving onto racism, this is the interesting part. Jem says to Tessa that shadowhunters believe that you are a shadowhunter first and your nationality or eace second. Actually Jem doesnt mention race but he says this while talking about being half Chinese so it's kinda relevant. Shadowhunters rarely tall about race throughout the books in general except for a few instances. When Jessamine criticizes Jem to Tessa, she calls him a foreigner and says some other racist shit that I can't really remember. Something about the yin fin and calling him lazy. That directly contradicts Jem's statement about them all being shadowhunters first. Also Will and Jem actually constantly talk about being Welsh and Chinese in the books so that statement is kinda bogus in general.

And if CC didn't want her mains being sexist or homophobic to show them as good people then why was it ok for both Jesse and Gabriel to say questionable shit about Jem? Anyways moving on to TLH. Sexism is still running rampid with their cultural customs and people being shitty about Charlotte being consul. Bots have to ask the girls to dance, girls cannot have sex before marriage or else they will be ruined or whatever you know the drill. But again, they let the girls fight. Cordelia is allowed to carry around a giant ass sword but she can't get some????

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE CASSANDRA!!!!!

Sorry I'm losing it. Anyways. Regarding racism. Alastair and Cordelia have experienced micro aggressions from the mains (Matthew and Anna) but it's never addressed. I'm pretty sure if memory serves, the inquisitor makes a nasty comment under his breath about persians when the Carstairs family sans Elias arrive. And then we have the whitewashing of Ariadne/Kamala by her parents.

But none of this stuff ever gets brought up really. Exceot for Kamala talking about her past and who she was before and sharing her original name, but she still doesn't talk about how it effects her potential coming out. Alastair doesnt mention race when he talks about the bullying he went through at the academy and none of the white characters ever stop to think about how Kamala and Alastsir's races play a part in their crappy situations.

There's probably more I could discuss with this but I'm moving on to homophobia. It's a thing in terms of the heteronormativity and people's judgement of Anna but it's not illegal like in mundane societies at this time. But all of the mains are totally cool with it which brings me to, I'm sorry but fucking bullshit! There is no way every single adult would be totally fine with it in this time period. Like I'm not saying outright homophobia but maybe some questionable comments you know? (CC is perpetuating this idea that good people never commit microaggressions which is untrue and harmful.)

I don't think there's any mention of whether or not gay marriage is allowed in the shadowhunter world at this point. Because the issues surrounding Magnus and Alec getting married were about Magnus being a warlock right? Because Helen and Aline got married before them in TFTSA because she was only half fae. So that brings me to when was gay marriage legalized in the shadow world?????

Is there any mention of this because I don't think there is? Anyways moving onto TMI. This is where everything goes to absolute shit in terms of world building with the standards for these things. Misogyny isn't really a problem in tmi anymore from what I remember. Nobody has issues with Jia as consul (from what I remember,) and that's that. But homophobia is still rambid throughout shadowhunter society so much so that Alec is terrified to come out because he believes that he can't be gay and be a shadowhunter in peoples eyes. Also there is pressure to "carry on the family name" which doesn't make sense because if the sexism has died out then women can have babies with whoever and not even be married and carry on their family line. And not everyone needs to have children, ergo there is less pressure on the sons to carry on the family name or whatever. This also doesn't make sense because homophobia literally cannot exist without sexism!!!!

This is because of colonial gender roles being forced on society. And men being with men and women being with woman totally smashes the whole gender roles, "woman do this and men do that" idea. There's more that I could say on that but this is already so freaking long so please just look it up. And speaking of gender roles it's literally mentioned that Maryse didn't teach Izzy to cook because she didn't want her to be forced into a housewife role like she was (although there's no evidence to suggest she was?) But then Maryse is lowkey homophobic?

It doesn't make sense Cassandra!!!!!

CC doesn't get that you literally don't have homophobia or transphobia without sexism. Indigenous societies pre-colonization didn't care about any of that stuff. Literally two spirit people were revered and respected and no one gave a fuck about gender until my ancestors literally came along and ruined everything. (I'm so sorry.)

But anyways there's no mentions of racism amongst the shadowhunters in tmi. Just Maia talking about her experiences with mundane society as a black girl. When Clary confronts Valentine and basically calls him a n*zi, he laughs at her and basically says that shadowhunters don't see race the way mundanes do which yikes @ CC. Granted this was 2007. This kind of sounds like what Jem said in TID. Only it clearly wasnt true.

Anyways I'm just super confused at this point. In TDA there was basically nothing in terms of all the isms and phobias. (Oh we arent even discussing ableism because my fucking head will explode!) But we do discuss transphobia a bit with Diana. But again it doesn't make fucking sense because transphobia exists because of sexism and clear gender roles (and homophobia.)

Society is still shown to be pretty heteronormative though which I guess makes sense but the Blackthorns have multiple queers in their family! You would think that they would be less so. When Livvy mentions all the reasons that Annabel could have a forbidden love she doesnt even think to mention that it could be a lesbian relationship. When Mark finds out that Jaime was in Dru's room he freaks out but I guarentee you, he wouldn't have if Jaime was a girl. I mean you could argue that it's an age thing and not a gender thing but idk. That scene always bothered the fuck out of me. Because Mark is literally half fae like why is he caught up on bullshit "boys and girls can't just be friends" hetero bullshit.

In QOAAD we see Dane Larksoear being sexist so randomly for no reason. Like it's so strange because CC literally created a caricature of a sexist villian with him. And it makes no sense because no one else seems to feel the way he does. Like Zara is basically the leader of the cohort right? And nobody gives a fuck. It makes no damn sense Cassandra!

And finally, why is the faerie world sexist with gender roles WHEN EVERYONE IS LITERALLY BISEXUAL AND THEY'RE FAERIES CASSANDRA!!!???? THEY'RE LITERALLY FAERIES WHY IS THERE A CONCEPT OF GENDER AT ALL CASSANDRA????!!!!

Ok lol now I'm done. Sorry this is so long. But yeah I'm so confused.

Tldr: CC's world building in regards to sexism, homophobia, racism and transphobia is very inconsistent and contradictory and it makes no damn sense.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Do you think the polycule has any holiday traditions?

POLYCULE ASK! POLYCULE ASK! POLYCULE ASK! YESSSSSSSSSS

that's actually a pretty interesting question because the polycule is very culturally diverse. like of course we have simon who's jewish, but the rest is kind of in a weird place. i'm pretty sure shadowhunters don't have holidays at all, and since clary was raised by a shadowhunter and a former shadowhunter, i'm pretty sure she would have been raised without any either? like maybe she'd celebrate the gregorian new year because you know, they have to pretend to be mundane after all, but i think that and birthdays were probably pretty much it for her. oh and halloween i guess which is also not religious-affiliated, are there any other holidays in the states? i guess there's the 4th of july and thanksgiving but both celebrate imperialism/colonialism and i don't want to write about that so i'm gonna pretend there aren't. plus i doubt shadowhunters celebrated those either

so ok we have izzy and clary with no holidays, we don't know whether or not maia is culturally christian and i don't wanna just say "yes" by default... and then there's meliorn whose holidays and traditions will be typical to seelie culture, which are gonna be... unique to them obviously. we don't know how they are celebrated, how long they last, what is the milestone, how or even IF they count time - like maybe they go by when a specific flower blooms and that only happens every 10 gregorian years or some shit. so that's a question mark i guess

and there's also the fact that the seelie realm is very politically closed which. i like to think changes once they get rid of the old queen! but it's still a slow process to just allow other people there. then again izzy was a shadowhunter and she used to hop by so it's probably not a huge deal for meliorn to bring their partners and metamours to seelie celebrations? or at least to the ones that aren't Super Sacred or anything. so like parties and dances and stuff like that? yeah. which i guess brings me back to the other "meta" i wrote about seelie dances (link) and what it would be like for the rest of the polycule to participate in those and shit

then... well obviously there's the gregorian new year which we have obviously just gone through (well, we had when i started answering this ask. it's march now so rip. update it's april now. i'm so sorry anon) so like! i think it was always kind of hell for both raphael and maia, autistic icons, because of all the explosion sounds that just made them feel really upset and feel really stupid for it. with raphael i think it was more bearable when he had rosa because she would spend the day with him and hug him and let him squeeze the stress out you know dauhdasuihda also she was always the one he felt the most comfortable stimming in front of. and then after he lost her it only got worse because on top of the fireworks there was the clear absence of rosa that he just FELT everywhere. you know?

and with maia there's the added trouble of her being AMAB and what with being raised to "black men" standarts of masculinity (to be clear, as in: due to racism black men are expected to be even more macho than white men, ESPECIALLY by nonblack ppl; not as in wow black ppl are so backwards or whatever. white ppl invented gender norms anyway so lmao), she was definitely shamed a lot for being so distressed by the fireworks when she was little methinks. we love that combination of transphobia, racism and ableism! so it was just hard and filled with bad memories. and then once she ran away from home it got marginally better without the constant telling her to "man up" and shit like that, but it still came with the added memories you know

and also with them (plus simon) being vampires/werewolves the hearing gets even more sensitive so that's... fun. meliorn realizes it stresses them out and makes up a special kind of spell that muffles their hearing of background noise, so they can feel more comfortable and for the first time there is not that added stress that comes with the new years and it feels so nice?? they even try watching the fireworks but it's kinda like eh, not that great, especially because even looking at them brings out memories you know doahdsaoh so instead meliorn shows them some magic and it's so much prettier with all the glowing lights and stuff, you know?

maybe after that the polycule starts spending the new years in the seelie realm instead, that'd be cute, just like. enjoying that pretty place with all the lights and shit. i think they would all prepare some kind of light show some way or another like using magic and witchlights and whatnot. that'd be cute

as for other holidays! i think their holiday traditions would start with simon's first yom kippur after he was able to eat solid foods again (shut up a potion WILL be created and i don't accept any other option). before that, with simon being unable to eat, he was also obviously unable to fast. he wouldn't feed during yom kippur but it's not like vampires need to drink blood every day so it's not really the same thing. and it felt particularly lonely that, besides being away from his family and community, he also couldn't fast

i mean obviously simon isn't the only jewish vampire in the world, or jewish downworlder for that matter, so i'm sure he makes jewish friends he would at least get together and pray with for yom kippur, and that's what matters the most, really, but being unable to fast when he wants to and also not being able to participate in the break-fast meal just. sucks djdnudhsus

and then he's able to eat and he can do all that again! but it's also kind of emotionally charged for all of the vampires to fast for the first time when for so long they associated not eating with feeling unhuman, you feel? so like it kind of hits all of them hard

so the polycule decides to make him a little surprise and cooks the break-fast meal for them. clary probably knows what simon and his family used to eat after yom kippur so they try to recreate that for him? and maia and raphael are lowkey nervous about it because they had never made stuff like noodle kugel before and while they could at least try it (yay potion!) they have no idea if it's tasting like it should, ya know what i mean? and it's kind of sweet that they are so worried about making this the best possible experience for simon and the closest to home it can get. and simon is super emotional about getting to eat that stuff for the first time, as well as the other vampires, so you know. it's very emotional all around. but in a good way? and i think after that it kind of becomes a tradition that they make him the break-fast meal after yom kippur too

and then the next years they lowkey fuss over him for the last meal before the fast too, which i'm not sure is something simon would do with other people so they would go ham, dude, particularly raphael because he is a worrier first and foremost. so catch his ass all lovingly planning a meal he can make with zero (0) salt whatsoever so simon doesn't get too thirsty during the fast for MONTHS, planning so he gets the most amount of sustenance, lots of fiber, etc., and simon is like "you know i don't even have to eat, right?" but rapha is just all "you know food still matters" and simon doesn't say anything because it does. it matters a lot

and raphael is all sweetly nervous because like... it is a simple meal, that is the point, but he still wants simon to enjoy it and simon can't stop smiling through the whole thing. raphael and the others also eat it with him too in solidarity before simon goes to the synagogue with his community and it's like a sweet send off you know?

also this is not exactly a celebration or a tradition for that matter but since YK is the day of forgiveness i like to think that eventually simon asks for raphael's forgiveness on YK for the whole rosa thing, and although that isn't religious for raphael, raphael asking for his forgiveness for how everything went down, too. and it's just a sweet moment where they leave this whole story behind and look for a better future - i imagine this happening before they get together, so again, it doesn't really count as an answer to your question, but i just thought i'd include it because i find it sweet

then after that there is sukkot and i just really loove the idea of them helping him build the sukkah (for those who don't know, the sukkah is a hut covered with vegetation under the open sky, where jewish ppl live in for the duration of the sukkot). i know that they could just buy a certified one but where is the fun in that when we could have shenanigans? also i think that that would have been part of simon's personal/family traditions because i bet him and becca loved to build the sukkah for their family. so like on that spirit it is a little sad that they can't help each other with that anymore since simon can't be seen by the rest of his family, but of course as soon as he mentions it and how fun it used to be the whole polycule is Immediately On Board. let's help simon build his sukkah!

first of all other than simon none of them have ever built a sukkah before and simon usually followed becca's lead tbh, also he's just not great to Lead And Control people in general, and the polycule is already messy as all fuck. so it's a disaster, especially with raphael and simon's superspeed and strength thrown into the mix, and meliorn's almost impossible to hold back mischievous nature. izzy is lowkey responsible for keeping them in check and okay now that i think about it clary might have helped simon's family build it before, especially when she was a kid because kids just love that shit, but i don't know if she would remember the steps tbh (read: she wouldn't remember the steps) so yeah all in all the sukkah falls down more often than not and they might have to replace a few materials when simon and raphael accidentally snap their bamboo poles in half. rip

meliorn is probably all like "you are all weak and pathetic, i am a seelie, i can literally control living things. simon needs a vegetable covering? watch me get all the nearby trees to form a beautiful roof" and simon is like "actually the sechach cannot be alive" and meliorn slowly dies because they have no power over dead nature. also simon forbids magic usage in general because this needs to be an authentic building experience for him, so meliorn is left as the most useless one since they only have experience building these things using magic and the help of the trees or whatever

also i bet they would love to go EXTREMELY hard on the lights and decorations. i know that hassidic and to my understanding general orthodox jewish communities don't decorate the sukkah but i don't hc simon as part of those communities so i think he would want to decorate the sukkah. like even if it isn't fully covered in decorations, he would want what few he has to be well done, you know what i mean? like he would want to make the holiday posters himself (i dont know if it would be appropriate for clary to help make these but if it would, she totally would and i like the idea of simon giving her a very specific prompt to make the posters and clary doing it for him, you know? and maybe them all helping paint it with colorful themes), making decorations, and okay, at the very least fairy lightning? please? come on. it's another whole ass dramatic experience to get electricity in there so that's fun for sure, but i think meliorn and maia in particular would be all over the idea of making a pretty lightning system, and simon is definitely not gonna complain because he loves pretty things and the idea sounds rad. raphael smiles fondly through it all and basically saves the day by being the only one with organizational skills who is actually able to help them make a working plan for the sukkah

(catch these idiots making a blueprint. TRY and tell me they wouldn't)

(every year they make a new blueprint and the sukkah has different designs and proportions - always following the requirements like having four at least 32 inches tall walls, of course - and they start completely anew. the sechach must always be new but not the general structure, but they redo the structure anyway because again, it's fun)

and then of course they have meals together in the sukkah for the duration of sukkot and just idk i really dig the idea of the lot of them holding trays of food wearing oven mitts as they get inside and turn on the lights and it feels really nice and sweet you know? and then of course promptly turns kind of messy because it's their way but that's what they want. also, at least once a year they manage to sneak becca in for a meal with simon in the sukkah and they are just both so happy and aaaaa :')

and that's how "kidnapping" becca so she can see simon and his sukkah becomes another tradition lmao. they do it in the most dramatic full of flair way they possibly can while still not being found out and then promptly tell simon all about it in the most dramatic and exaggerated retelling during the meal, which always makes both simon and becca laugh (reality: becca just told her parents she would be off for a few hours to do some school thing or something and then they picked her up and she got a superspeed piggyback ride so she and simon wouldn't miss a minute. their story: "it all began with a carefully planted lie,")

there's also pesach which many (reform) jewish friends of mine have told me they like to do with goyim because the whole point of that holiday is to welcome strangers and share jewish history, so i think simon would like to do that as well. so yeah i think simon would enjoy having them with him during the Pesach Seder - again i think simon would want to be with his other jewish friends but it would be fun because they all could bring their pet goyim that they know would be respectful and nice to have around, run the Seder, and celebrate with them. also for their first one i think simon would have gotten excited about explaining the order/15 steps to them, so like cue lots of fond looks as simon tells them everything about it, how this is the first time he'll be able to have the feast, the four cups of wine, and how he's excited even to have the bitter herbs again. and then over the years they all become pretty much used to the 15 steps, they come naturally, they know what to expect, they already know the story of the Exodus after retelling it every year, and it's nice both when it's new and he gets to share and when it starts to be something in their element because it became their tradition and they want to be there with simon for the holidays, you know what i mean?

then there's purim!!!!!!!! god they would sure have so much fun on purim it gets me really excited to think about. purim might be the one that they get to participate the most in from what i've seen, and i have lots of thoughts about it, like:

first of all, making hamantaschen!! they each make a batch with a different stuffing and it's lowkey a competition and lowkey a surprise and as always with cooking together it is very fun and homey. and also kind of silly as they usually are, but purim is a holiday that is kind of supposed to be silly and for ppl to let go so it matches that mood, you know what i mean? like they're all covered in flour and "stop trying to LOOK at what i'm making!" and blind testing and stuff

then, food gifts! so from what i've seen it is preferable that the food gifts jewish ppl send each other on purim are sent by a third party, which is usually a kid, but they don't know many kids and i really like the idea of the polycule serving as simon's messengers for the day lmao. going everywhere round the shadow world and beyond ("hey mel since you can portal i have this friend in argentina-") and then bringing him the other gifts people send simon in return :)

dressing up in costumes! there is absolutely no way simon doesn't dress up for purim and the whole polycule is absolutely dragged into it, including an absolutely reluctant raphael. it quickly becomes a tradition tho that they change costumes every year and try to make them funnier and more outrageous (as you do) as time goes by. trust the polycule to turn pretty much everything into a competition. and simon always laughs with so much glee and joy when he gets to see what everyone dresses up as so really, how could they say no?

(maia "wins", like, every year. she is totally huge on costumes and her and simon are very attuned in that sense, so, you know. catch her dressing up as memes and just generally making the most creative costumes. she may or may not think them months and months ahead of time)

maybe they hold purim meals with particularly themed costumes every once in a while when they want to spice it up, but i think generally it's more of a freestyle thing

simon also loves reading the purim torah tbh, it's just fun. and then of course there's the megillah and booing when haman's name is mentioned. they are all banned from using graggers because half of them have superstrength and the other half doesn't technically have superstrength but is still super strong and they destroyed the poor thing on accident after the first ten seconds when they tried

food yay! and the very long meal. they usually get pretty drunk, tbh, at least the ones that can. and just generally i think it's one of their favorite celebrations to do together and more often than not ends in them all curled up together in the couch so u know, that's sweet uwu

and then of course rosh hashanah, which is the holiest joyous day in jewish tradition, so of course it's a huge deal for them all. and i just think they would all be super excited about making the evening (especially the meal ofc) the most incredible for simon it could possibly be. again i think simon would want to spend it with his downworlder jewish friends and community, and they probably have their own synagogue they go to together and everything, so obviously they are all involved in making preparations for rosh hashanah, but i like to think the polcyule and simon's friends' pet goyim would help with what they can as well (provided it's not something that should be done by a jewish person like baking the challah; but if not with cooking, they would at least want to help with stuff like decorations and the like. honestly i imagine all of simon's partners sitting together very seriously with a paper in front of them writing down all the stuff they can do to help with rosh hashanah preparations and everything. especially once they learn that like being happy/joyous is a mitzvah so they're just like "we want to make u as happy as possible then :)" and it's sweet and simon may or may not tear up a little)

and then we have other holidays that aren't associated with religion like halloween, which was kind of implied to be the official downworld holiday, so i'm pretty sure they go big on that too. not dressing up because again, one day where they can all afford to be themselves, but definitely meeting up at the hunter's moon, getting spectacularly drunk, roasting the mundane's costumes, and then once they get back to whichever of them's homes, watching some shitty movies and throwing stuff at the screen together

i'm on the fence about día de muertos. i know it's not exactly a sad holiday but i feel like it is for raphael because it kind of represents everything he's lost - his culture and his family, and he can't even go to the parade during the day, you know, although i'm not sure that would have been his thing, but i do think he would have loved to watch the arrival of the monarchs when he was a kid but he'd have to be in méxico for that. and particularly after he lost rosa i just feel like it would have been so emotionally charged for him, you know? he would definitely make her an altar every year and it would be just... big and well thought-out and something really emotional and important for him, welcoming his little sister back the best he can. and i feel like that's something he'd want to do alone because my boy loves to punish himself

but there are little things i think they would have wanted to do with him, and that they might push a little to be able to, like being with him while he eats by the altar and hearing him tell stories about rosita. and i think they would help him "undo" (?) the altar once día de muertos is over, which is always extra emotional for him and aaa. and then the next day they kind of just get to be with him and cuddle a little bit as he recovers emotionally, you know?

also it has just occured to me that raphael is christian shit fuck fart bitch cock. so okay i guess that puts xmas and easter somewhat on the map? again mostly for food. us latinos celebrate xmas on the eve, not on xmas day, and raphael is totally the insufferable xmas meal obsessed bitch who's on the kitchen all day and refuses to let anyone help (he can't pull that particular stunt for the meals they have for simon's holidays obviously but he can on xmas soo). but it's worth it because it is always a great one. and he also gives a lot of thought into getting everyone presents so that is sweet and it earns him lots of kisses on the cheek and stuff. and that's pretty much it for latino xmas, we don't really do stuff i'm still not convinced gringos haven't made up like the socks and the eggnog and xmas music (????) so it's more lowkey. and i think raphael would keep the more religious aspects of it to the stuff he does at church (again, there are downworlder religious communities idk what to tell u) and for the nursery home. which is not to say that like... oh wow xmas is totally not a xtian holiday! or whatever, just that the version the polycule does is more lowkey on the religious aspects and the things they do together on that day are more about being together with raphael on a day that matters to him, you know, especially since again, he is the only xtian and that's gonna be a sensitive thing for simon especially

and i think for easter it is mostly something they do to shower maia in sweets lmao. again she misses chocolate and i'm sure they spend a lot of their time trying to figure out how to get around that, either be by like trying to make special chocolate that doesn't make her sick or sweets that really really resemble chocolate or that are so good she doesn't even mind that she can't eat chocolate anymore. so that's their tradition for easter (and raphael goes to church ofc)

oh yeah and i forgot valentine's day! i have this funny little idea just for the shits where they have this little thing where they setup one-on-one dates for all the parts that are actually together and each of them lasts, like, 10 minutes (poor maia who dates everyone is just running around town) and it's more about the fun of running around from one day to the other like this is a bad romcom where some bastard is trying to juggle having two (monog) girlfriends at once. but then they actually get all together at the end of the day and trade presents and funny cards both among their dates and metamours ("roses are red, violets are blue, you're my girlfriend's girlfriend, and i love you platonically"). usually ending up with them drunk and debating how exactly they got to this overly complicated arrangement and trying to figure out the best way to explain this to an outsider and trying to make, like, fluxograms that explain all of their different relationships visually and they all look so messy it just leaves them more confused lmao. so yeah it's fun

and i think that's all i've got? i say, as if this answer isn't longer than anyone will have the time to read and took me over 4 months to write. but anyway

a special thanks to "a group where non-jews can ask questions about judaism and jews can answer" on facebook and all my jewish friends for helping me write about the jewish holidays and customs. i also used the following sources: Rosh Hashanah (link), how to build the sukkah (link), more on the sukkah (link), how to celebrate purim (link), more on purim (link), how to celebrate passover (link), what is a passover seder like (link), laws of yom tov (link), yom kippur (link), what to eat before and after yom kippur (link), a classic yom kippur breakfast menu (link), menus for the pre yom kippur meal (link). if there's anything inaccurate or disrespectful, however, please let me know, and feel free to add more ideas as well if you're jewish :)

[a-court-of-healing]

Loving You Through it chapter 2 Jace Herondale x Reader

Disclaimer: I don’t own the mortal instruments or the gifs

Trigger warning: mentions of cutting, sexual abuse, sexual assault, ptsd, and depression

Y/N POV

Dean has been the best parabatai ever. You met Dean when you were 12 and just got your marks. He just turned 17 and he was looking for someone to be his parabatai. He entered the training room when you were there, and he saw you take on people who were older, wiser, and more trained. You learned from a young age it was either fight, flight, or freeze. For your father, it was always freeze. For most other men it was fight, but for emotions it was run. Dean was impressed and he liked the idea of being older and being a mentor to someone younger. You were honored, because honestly, Dean was a) hot b) a good fighter and c) a good friend. He knew all of your problems, the depression, ptsd, and cutting. He knew your history, but he trusted you completely. He knows that you would die for him in a heartbeat. He knows how much you love Jace, and he keeps trying to get you to tell him and to let him in, but it’s not that easy.

“Why don’t you explain it to him? You know he will be there for you! He loves you, Y/N!” Dean explains as he sits next to you. You shake your head and sigh. 

“Because Dean...what if he…you...abandon me? I don’t think I can survive that…” You have this habit of picking your fingers, even to the point where it bleeds. Dean looked at your hands and poked you. 

“Stop, stop worrying. I see the way he looks at you. He looks at you like you are the star of his world and he can’t survive without you. He won’t leave you because you have had a hard life and you have mental illnesses. That just isn’t like him.” You looked away and stood up and looked out the window. Dean makes it sound like it’s perfectly normal to be the way you are, and it will be so easy to talk about everything to Jace. You barely told Dean. You only told him because you thought as your parabatai he didn’t have a choice but to stay. 

“Have you talked to Dustin about this?” Dustin was your therapist. He was a really great man. You usually hate men and don’t trust them, but you were researching therapists and he was known for working with people like you with PTSD and people who have been abused. I shook my head and then somewhat nod my head. 

“Kinda...I mentioned how I was scared and the memories. Dean these flashbacks make life hell. I can’t stop thinking that either he’ll leave me...or he just wants me for sex...or maybe he’ll abuse me too....” Dean was listening and nodding. 

“Have you thought about talking to Alec about Jace? I mean, he knows him better than just about anyone. He could help ease your mind.” It was a really good idea. You loved Alec and Isabelle. They were like your brother and sister. You also love Magnus and Simon because they made them happy. Alec and Magnus were the cutest couple ever. Magnus is like your bisexual best friend. He’s been through hell as well and it’s like you both can tell what hell you’ve been through. 

“That sounds like a good idea...I think I’m going to message him...you don’t think he’ll tell…” 

“No...that isn’t like Alec and you know it. He wouldn’t tell unless you want him too. Magnus won’t tell either. It might hurt Jace though that you went to Alec...I mean you can tell your story to whoever you deem trustworthy.” Dean’s phone started ringing and it stopped my train of thought. 

“Oh speak of the devil. It’s Alec. Here, see what he wants.” He tosses you his phone and starts cleaning up his room. 

“Hello? Dean’s phone.” 

“Y/N?”

“Yeah, I’m here with Dean...is there something wrong?”

“No, I was just calling him to see if he could bring me some arrows from the armory, but anyway, how are you?” He sounded genuinely curious. 

“I’m fine, always fine. I can bring you some arrows...I thought maybe I could talk to you about something anyway…” 

“Of course! Does it matter that Magnus is here? He could leave if you don’t wa-”

“No, that’s fine. It’s just something about Jace. See you soon!”

You stop by your and Jace’s room and see that he fell asleep with his shoes still on. You smile lovingly and walk over to him and take off his shoes and kiss his forehead. You wrote a note and put it on the end table. If he woke up and you were there, he would be worried. You then grab some arrows and head over to Magnus and Alec’s apartment. You knocked on their door and waited for them to answer and Alec answered almost immediately and you saw that both him and Magnus were in their pajamas. 

“Hey Y/N what’s up?” You hand him the arrows, walk in, and walk over to the couch and sit down. Magnus was sitting on the love seat and walked over you and kissed your head and sat next to you. His kisses were different then Jace’s. A) because it wasn’t romantic b) he was bisexual c) he’s in a relationship with Alec d) Magnus is like her brother and e) he’s bisexual.

“Umm...I don’t want to say too much...but I have some trust issues…” That admission was hard enough, and Magnus snickered a little and Alec shot him a look, telling him to shut up.

“I...I love Jace more than I’ve ever loved anyone in this world. I just….don’t know if I can tell him about somethings...he deserves to know, he does. But I just don’t know if I can...cause I mean…” You were picking at your nails to try and calm down. You couldn’t speak anymore and you felt shame going straight through your veins. Silence rang out through the apartment. They both were expecting you to speak some more, but you couldn’t get the words out. You stared off at the wall, trying to numb the panic in your heart. Magnus stood up and walked out of the room and I felt fear creep in. I knew it. They would leave me. However, he came back in with a little ball of fluff. He put Chairman Meow in my lap and the kitty started purring. This cat has always liked you, and he never ran away. You instantly started petting him and smiled. He didn’t leave you, he was getting something to HELP you. 

“Y/N I can tell you this, Jace will protect you and he will die for you. He will take anything you give him and he will carry all your problems on his shoulders. He is your biggest supporter. He’s rooting for you. So you can talk to him. He will be there, and from past experience, I know for a fact he won’t abandon you.” He was sitting on the loveseats arm and he was speaking quietly, almost like he was speaking to a frightened animal. I studied Chairman Meow’s fur and tried to get lost in how soft it was. Believe it or not, you were a very tactile person. You think it has something to do with not getting good safe healthy touches throughout your entire life. They both wait silently and patiently waiting for you to digest what you were thinking and feeling. 

“I spent the majority of my life hiding who I was from my family and friends, and when I finally did come out, they were all there to support me. I thought they would leave as well, but it never even crossed their minds.” Alec stood up and walked over and sat on the couch, sandwiching you between Magnus and himself. 

“Darling, I can tell you’ve been through some sort of hell. It must be super hard to do it all alone. We’re here if you want to talk, but I think we all know you should be talking to jace.” Alec pulled the cat out of your arms and Magnus reached over and grabbed your hand and squeezed tightly. You felt loved. Then, you stood up and nodded your head. 

“Thanks you two...I really needed this.” 

“Call or text whenever you need to. We’re serious. We’re here for you.” Magnus said and Alec agreed. 

When you went back to the Institute, you noticed that Church meowed at you and you reached down to pet him. Then, this sharp stabbing pain burned on your forearm. Your parabatai rune. That meant Dean was in trouble. Oh no. 

“DEAN!!!! Church, take me to Dean!” Church couldn’t even do it. That meant that Dean wasn’t here. You pulled out your phone and called him. He didn’t answer. You called repeatedly and every time he didn’t answer, panic rose in your blood. 

“JACE!!!!” You ran as fast as you could to Jace’s room and Jace shot up from the bed. 

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Are you okay? What’s going on?” He grabbed your arms and you shook your head. 

“Get dressed and get your weapons. Dean is in trouble!”

“Where is he?”

“I don’t know, we’ll have to use a navigation rune!” You were only meant to use this rune in absolute emergencies. 

Jace and you prepared as fast as you could and you pulled out your copper colored stele and had Jace give you the mark. But as soon as you found him, something happened. You felt a huge stab in your heart. Oh Lord, please no! Your heart felt as if you were stabbed with a sharp gripping stake and it was twisting and ripping out your heart. You gasp in agony. The rune on your arm went from a dark black mark to a clear scar. You felt a part of you die. You literally went from feeling normal to nothing. Pure emptiness. You grabbed Jace’s arm and all you could hear was this fuzz and static as Jace yelled asking you what was happening, but horror filled you and fell to your knees and screamed as loud as you could. Izzy and Simon ran in and you assumed that they were asking Jace what was happening, and Jace was on the floor with you holding your face in his and the look on his face showed pure concern, worry, love, fear, and tenderness all wrapped into one expression. Your lips were quivering and you felt the tears well in your eyes. 

“He’s dead. Dean is dead.”

[cosplaydude637]

Special Part 1: Shadow Natural,

The year 2014

So much has happened in the last year. Alec became Console, Clary and Jace got engaged, the war with the Cohort was still ongoing, and little has been seen of the Seelie queen. With all this going on Magnus felt like it was a good idea to take Alec out for a date night to the movies. This strange tale starts as the two men are walking out of the theater holding hands.

As they round a corner into a back alley walking home the hair on the back of Alec’s neck starts to tingle. When this happens it usually means he is being followed. The two men spun around, Magnus had just enough time to throw up a blue flame-covered hand to stop a bullet inches from his face.

Alec draws a seraph blade from his belt and calls out “Cassiel” and the blade shoots out and lights up the alley. Before them stands two mundanes. One was tall with shaggy light brown hair and his gun was trained on Magnus. The other man was short with spiky brown hair and a look of complete shock was on his face as he lowered his smoking gun. “Son of a Bitch!” He shouts.

Magnus flicks a finger and sends the bullet flying back at the two men. They dive out of the way and roll into a ball then jump up their guns amed back at Magnus. But now Alec was not standing there he was behind them and held his seraph blade at the tail man's throat. “Put them down, I really don’t want to kill a mundane.” Alec states.

The tail man looks at the short one. “Dean just kill this warlock”

“I really would not do that. My husband is very good with his seraph blades.” Magnus says smiling at Alec.

“Sammy, why is a warlock smiling at you like that?” Dean asks

“Not me, the man behind me.” Sam answers.

“I mean it, have your boyfriend drop the gun and you do the same,” Alec says, rubbing his blade on Sam's throat drawing a little blood.

“Really come on, he is my Brother. Why do all you monsters seem to think we are gay.” Dean snaps. This moment gave Magnus the opening he needed and he twisted his hand and blue flames shouted out and sent Dean flying into the wall.

“I am so going to kill you for that! And your boy toy monster!” Sam yells and Magnus wiggles his fingers at Sam.

“The only monster I see here is you and your brother. My husband is a Nephilim and a high-ranking one so watch how you talk to him.” Magnus says and is tackled to the ground by Dean.

“Sam, will you kill that thing already!” Dean says drawing a silver hunting knife. Dean however was not able to use his weapon as two long swords were now at his throat. Holding them was Jace and Clary

“You really don’t want to do that, mister. My parabatai really would not like it if you killed his husband and you don’t want to see a heartbroken and mad Shadowhunter” Jace says with a shit-eating grin.

“A what?” Sam asks, shocked, his eyes Widening.

“We are Shadowhunters and this warlock is protected,” Clary says.

“Hold on, hold on we are hunters two,” Dean says holding up his hands.

“You know you're cute and all but I am happily married so get off me!” Magnus yells Dean slow rose as did the two swords. Magnus gets up and dusts off.

“Ok guys let’s just talk about this, we are all hunters here,” Sam says in a calm voice.

“You're mundane, not one of us,” Jace says, looking over at Sam.

“We are not mundane, we are human!” Dean shouts.

“It’s the same thing,” Clary says softly.

“If your hunters like us then you're human too,” Dean adds.

“We are Shadowhunters also known as the Nephilim,” Alec explains

“What the Hell is a Nephilim?” Dean asks.

“There children of Angels,” Sam says looking very shocked now he has gone pale white.

“That’s right, we are the children of Raziel,” Jace says with a bright smile.

“Oh Great, So your dicks.” Dean says and is slapped by Magnus. “Hey!”

“Watch how you talk about my husband and friends. I understand now, you Human Hunters. You're so lost and don’t even know it.” Magnus says looking at the two men.

“Human hunters?” Clary asks.

“As you know, some mundane can see the shadow world. A few of them become what they call Hunters and battle the darkness” Magnus explains.

Alec steps away from Sam and lowers his blade and nods at Jace and Clary to do the same. They do and Dean and Sam put their weapons away also.

“Guess that explains why they could see us,” Jace says and tapes his unseen ruin.

“Nice tat but what’s it got to do with anything?” Dean asks.

“Dean, that's an Angelic Mark.” Sam states.

“If you did not have the sight, you would not be able to see Jace and me. Oh, I am Clary by the way. This is Alec and Magnus.” She says and points out to everyone.

“I am Sam Winchester and this is my brother Dean,” Sam says.

“No Way!” Clary shouts kind of fangirl style.

“Biscuit, do you know them?” Magnus asks, quivering an eyebrow.

“Kind of, I mean I thought they were just Characters in the Supernatural books,” Clary replaces.

“I swear to Chuck I hate those books!” Dean shouts

“Chuck?” Clary asks.

“It’s a long story,” Sam says with a half-smile.

“Not that I don’t love all this witty banter but why are Hunters in this city?” Magnus questions.

“Oh we are after a Witch and we thought it was Him.” Dean points at Magnus.

“Do you have a name for this Witch?” Jace asks, still glaring at the two brothers.

“No, we just know she has a thing about using purple fire.” Sam respawns. Alec, Jace, Clary, and Magnus all exchange a look of shock.

“Purple fire you say?” Magnus inquiries as Alec walks next to him.

“Ya some witch been going all over the U.S. causing all kind of crap and we got wind the witch be in new york so we hoped in my baby and hauled ass here,” Dean explained

“Baby?” Alec states looking very confused.

“His Car.” Sam and Clary say at the same time.

“Anyway, children.” Magnus snaps his fingers. “The one you seek her name is Sinira, she is a warlock.” He finishes

“I thought only guys could be warlocks?” Dean scratches the top of his head a quizzes look on his face.

“How very sexiest of you my dear boy. Warlock is a race, not a title. Most of the people you've been dealing with are just Mundanes playing with magic they do not understand,” Magnus states with a playful wink.

“Fine, whatever, I don't care as long as the Bitch dies!” Dean snaps.

“Hold on Dean, these guys seem to have a lot more info than us,” Sam says, laying a soft hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“You guys can’t kill her… I have read all about you but this is one fight that you are way out of your league,” Clary gives them a kind smile.

“We will deal with Sinira, you can be on your way,” Jace gives the two brothers a shooing motion.

Just then Xander, one of the young shadowhunters, comes running up to the group. He looks like he has been in a battle black inking substances are splattered all over him. He doubles over out of breath right in front of Alec.

“Xander, what are you doing here?” Alec looks at the young boy. “Is that icor?”

“What's Icor,” Dean whispers over to his brother. Sam just shrugs.

“Imp Demons in time square… Izzy and Simon there but… getting overrun.” Xander says between gasps for air.

“Xander, why did you not have an endurance ruin on?” Clary asks.

“I did, how do you think I got all the way here from time square?” Xander spouts out fine catching his breath.

“Magnus can you portal us there we need to help the others and we will need you to make a diversion for the Mundanes,” Alec asks softly.

Magnus nods and starts waving his hands around as blue fire comes from them and slowly a circular portal starts to open. Through the glimmering surface of the portal 42 street can be seen. Without looking Jace and Clary darted through the portal followed by Xander. Alec looks over at the two brothers. “Leave Sirina to us.” Alec says and darts through the portal.

“Aren’t imps like little pests things?” Dean asks.

“Yes but in large numbers they can be very dangerous.” Sam replays.

“Umm hello boys. Demons attacking humans kind of in your job description.” Magnus shouts and points to the still open portal. Sam and Dean Exchange a look then jump into the portal like they were diving into a pool. Magnus just shakes his head and walks through the portal.

Time square was a scene of complete horror. People running everywhere and tons of little monsters attacking them.

They were maybe a foot tall but they were in all different colors and sizes. On their backs were small devil-like wings.

When Dean and Sam come through the portal they see that most of Shadowhunters where battling the imps wall a small group are ushering the normal People out of the area.

Magnus steps through the portal “you two going to just stand there or help out?”

Dean and Sam draw their guns and exchange a look then nod running towards the battle.

“Um boys your little pea shouters won’t help here.” Magnus says with a chaser cat grin.

“Wall it’s what we got.” Sam says

“And they have never failed us yet. We found you can shoot most things dead!” Dean adds in very snarky.

“Boy boys boys you have barely glimpsed the Shadow World.” Magnus snaps his fingers and blue Sparks fly out. A long brod sword appeared strapped onto Dean's left hip and two short swords appeared on Sam’s back. “Try them out.” Magnus wings at the two boys and runs over to help Alec fight off a group of imps.

“I think he was flirting with us?” Dean says.

Sam puts away his gun and draws his swords. Dean follows suit and draws out his long sword. “Hey Sammy look… By the power of Gray skull!” Dean yells out, thrusting his sword into the air.

“Hey He-man you want to use that sword of power and help out or what!” Simon snaps shooting an arrow through the head of an imp.

“Wow, nice shot.” Sam says and runs over to help in the fight.

“I was just trying to….” Dean's face is covered in black inky blood. He whips his eyes clear to see Jace with his sword held out in front of Dean. Dean stumbles back and looking down he sees the body of a imp split in two.

“That sword is not a toy. Use it or get the hell out of here!” Jace snaps and spends on his heels decapitating the heads of two more imps.

Dean's face changes from one of shock into a saturn and determined look and stud back to back with Jace. “Me and you are going to have words after this is over.”

To be continued!!!

[austennerdita2533]

Multiple choice challenge for you while you recover from your annoying cold: Jo Wilson or Izzie Stevens? Joey Potter or Rory Gilmore? Piper Halliwell or Phoebe Halliwell? Luke Danes or Jess Mariano? Lorelai Gilmore or Caroline Forbes? And why?!?! I know these are tough, so good luck :)

Ahhhh! These are really hard!

Also, I feel like a lot of these answers would be or could be different depending on my mood?? Why I say that is because sometimes I lean heavier into the morally gray or flawed characters, or those I’m relating to more or less at the moment, and that usually has to do with my headspace at a particular time. You know, like if I’m paralleling some of their issues, working through stuff, grappling with similar conflicts in my own life, kind of thing.

Anyway, here goes!

Jo Wilson or Izzie Stevens?

Honestly, I think this choice has to do more with the fact that I prefer the earlier seasons of Grey’s to the latter ones. Probably a cop out but whatever haha. Everything was spunky and innovative then. Plus, there were better storylines and character arcs. Izzie gets a lot of hate in the fandom at large. Makes me want to fight for her a little. Even so, I thought she was an interesting character overall. I liked how her empathy and compassion had a tendency to muddy the waters for her as a surgeon. I’ve always wondered what specialty she’d wind up pursuing, what successes she’d accrue, the mark she’d make in her field as well as in her patients’ lives.

Joey Potter or Rory Gilmore?

Oh, my beloved introverted nerds! This one was tough because naturally I adore them both but I’m going with Rory today because I relate to her sense of awe and wonder where books are concerned. She’s so alive, stimulated really, in all things academia. She and I are also introverted in much the same way. Our friend circle is not large, but it’s constant, it’s trusted. We prefer to make deep, lasting bonds with people rather than superficial ones. We both are notorious list-makers, too, which, when there is a big decision to be made, we rush to them to flush out pros and cons. There’s lots of deliberation amongst ourselves and among those we trust. We also have similar BFF energy with our moms. (I tell mine all the time she’s “the Lorelai to my Rory.”)

Piper Halliwell or Phoebe Halliwell?

I’ve never been able to choose a favorite between these two. I always oscillate. One day, it’s Piper; the next it’s Phoebe. I’m selecting Phoebe today because of her passion and zest for life. I love how she jumps into things with her whole heart, how empathy guides her in magic, in relationships, in life. She’s always so ready and willing to try new things, too. It’s inspiring. I want to be more like that. Be less afraid to put myself out there and take more chances.

Luke Danes or Jess Mariano?

Not to be dramatic but this choice cut my soul into a Horcrux! I have so much love for these two emotionally repressed men! They actually have quite a few similarities between them. (Which makes sense if you think about it since they’re uncle and nephew. Genetics, man! Never know what’s going to pop up or where. Sheesh!) That said, there’s something so tragic to me about Jess and his upbringing with Liz and how he views love as something he’s almost not worthy enough to receive. That’s a terrible thing to think! To feel about yourself! I mean, he wasn’t getting the love he needed from his mother or from Jimmy. They ignored him, or worse, abandoned him. It’s not until he goes to Stars Hollow to live with Luke does he slowly come to know, to accept, that there are people in this world he CAN count on. People who will have his back no matter how many times he screws up. People who would always be there for him. Idk, I just really love the arc of that. It’s moving.

Lorelai Gilmore or Caroline Forbes?

Gilmore Girls is my favorite show and Lorelai is one of my favorite female characters of all time so I feel a little guilty about this one, but Caroline and I are cut from so much of the same cloth that it feels remiss not to pick her. Sometimes I think of her as being my fictional shadow self. She’s Type A organized and compulsive, as am I because there are so many things about my health and body I cannot control, so why not control everything else that I can? She’s focused, determined, ambitious, compassionate, and always sees the good in people, which is something I try to do myself. We share the “if you want something done right, do it yourself” attitude as well. She’s also next level insecure to the point that she thinks “I will never be the one.” That sentiment hits so close to home I could cry. 😂

[faejilly]

Ok but what is it about 3b that people dislike it so much 👀

The problem with 3b is not that in and of itself it is necessarily so much worse than any other season, or any other show, or whatever. The problem with 3b is it set up a whole bunch of really interesting character and lore and plot beats and then ignored all of them.

It’s like... The first two X-Men movies, (umm, 20 years ago? OH DEAR LORD, I’m old, whatever, I started this comparison I’m gonna keep going) were way better than anyone expected. And then the third movie was such a crock of bullshit in terms of the way it treated its characters that people are still mad about it (11 years later!) in a way they wouldn’t have been if those first two movies hadn’t raised the bar. (See also: asking me or the husband about Smallville or DC’s The New 52 timeline even now years after they’re both over because WTF DC. We have a lot of Superman opinions, just saying.)

But anyways! Back to Shadowhunters.

POLITICS

So, Magnus lost his position as High Warlock and then... nothing? Apparently we have no idea how the Downworld works and no one cares

Downworld Cabinet? What Downworld Cabinet?

JIA AND ALEC had a really beautiful couple of prickly scenes together and then... nothing. She was nothing and nothing happened and also she’s terrible at her job because apparently Aldertree is a criminal mastermind and she’s clueless? WHAT (ALSO the whole trying to resurrect Valentine? As a single event that does nothing to anything else? THAT IS NOT A THING WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES, wtf. I’m gonna say wtf a lot in this, jsyk. Jia was so ruthless and interesting when dealing with Clary and then. Nope. Nothing.)

THE CLAVE IN GENERAL. Is apparently terrifying and torturing people but actually no they’re just incompetent and it’s Aldertree again. *shrug emoji*

The scene with Maia & Alec about Heidi was actually pretty well done, but it required so much bullshit to get there, so many things that Izzy did and apparently... never told either her brother or The Head of the Institute and then... no consequences for that either? COME ON.

MAIA IN GENERAL. She deserved a proper arc that wasn’t more about Jordan than her. She deserved to be involved in the rest of the Shadow World, to be active and doing things and being the Alpha that Luke couldn’t be, rather than just being attacked and abused and neglected over and over and over again.

Speaking of characters that deserved better: RAPHAEL.

Raphael & Magnus had a beautiful scene together right at the beginning of 3a... and then nothing else! Not when Raphael overstepped with Heidi, not when he got exiled, not when he got turned human (which would have tied in with Magnus’ plot line! IT WAS RIGHT THERE?!? SAME THING BUT NOT? SUCH A GOOD cONTRAST liek wt-ACTUAL-FUCKERY.)

Magnus & the Downworld in general. They’d made a big point about how he was very tied into all these other people, felt responsible for them, and then they were just all gone. for no reason except to make him more sad. Which, fine, if you want to make his story one about isolation, but you have to show how we got there. WHERE’s CAT? Where are all the Warlocks who survived that attack back in S1 when Magnus was sheltering them? (Where’s the Council that apparently fired Magnus? You can’t bring something like that up and then just... NOTHING IT. Well. I mean. Obviously you can because they did but it’s stupid.)

THE TWINNING RUNE

Jonathan in 3b is an entirely different character and contradicts half of what we saw in 3a which means he doesn’t make sense and it makes me mad because he could have been so amazing (And I honestly think Luke Baines did an amazing performance as someone who doesn’t know How To Human but wants to, but then the plot kept framing him as some terrifying villain when really he was just trying to run away and find a big pointy to scare people with so no one would follow him and that could have been a great story but while that was the character he was portraying that wasn’t the plot they put him in and the contrast made both things look stupid rather than poignant.)

Also Clary under the twinning rune should have still been Clary, so her “evil” should have been self-righteous and breaking the world to do what she wanted (because that’s what she does anyways) rather than, what, weird and flirty? She absolutely should have been protecting her brother, because that’s what Clary wants at the end of the day, but she should have been doing it like Clary, not like an echo of Jonathan’s issues.

It’s supposed to be an Evil!Parabatai Rune on Steroids, right? So maybe compare it to the actual parabatai we’ve got right here in front of us?!

GIVE ME PARABATAI STUFF (especially if you’re going to use it for a Clary & Izzy beat near the end, which I loved tbqh, but it... doesn’t make a lot of sense because we don’t know what that means.)

Or I kind of enjoy the fact that Jace is suddenly over most of his issues BUT I had to figure out why i thought that worked, the show didn’t give it to me.

Mainly though.

Most people don’t like 3b because one of the core plot/character threads is of course Magnus losing his magic... and none of that plot is actually centered on Magnus, on letting Magnus process it, on Magnus doing anything... which is even worse than it sounds because 3x11 made it look like it was going to do it right. Magnus stands up to Iris without magic. Magnus accepts Alec’s help, Magnus says he’s not okay and Alec gets it... and then in 3x12 they contradict all of that. ALL OF IT. GONE. *ARGH* It was right there, they started it right and then. NOPE. Magnus lies and avoids and Alec is sad and Alec acts and Asmodeus acts and Magnus is sad and that’s it. It could have been amazing! and it wasn’t!

HE STABBED HIMSELF WITH EYELINER? Like, this is a really minor scene, but that’s something he clearly knows how to do even if he usually did it with magic, he’s got multiple character beats in earlier seasons about how he likes to do things by hand, to linger in physical, tangible action, that he knows magic is sometimes a short-cut and he doesn’t always use it AND YET. SOMEONE THOUGHT THAT WAS CUTE SO THEY FORGOT EVERYTHING ELSE?!?

And to be fair the conversation is good, the cheek kiss is good, it’s really just that one tiny detail that breaks it, and 3b is full of a lot of tiny details that break what could have been really good. Again, it’s the contrast, it’s getting so close and then not doing it right that’s so frustrating.

SO FRUSTRATING. *GRR ARGH* WITH ME, PEOPLE

[knowlesian]

“i can do anything.”

i’ve been thinking a lot about ed lately, and the way his capabilities are often downplayed, and that line keeps coming back to me.

“i can do anything.”

we know ed is at the top of his game. he made himself the legend izzy tells us he met and wanted to serve under; he suffered alongside jack on hornigold’s ship, making the start of that legend.

the whole time, he never killed directly. he knew jack when they were young and indiscreet, and jack still thinks ed goes even harder than he does.

jack’s known ed longer than anyone else we’ve met outside of flashbacks. he got to know ed when he was young and raw and angry, and ed still managed to fool him. jack knew him before the legend, and jack is still thoroughly snowed despite being a canny bastard under that frat boy affect.

ed makes up daring plan after daring plan. he tells us he helps enact them; he tells us it’s gotten boring. fang and ivan tell us they've seen edward plenty via “the most emotionally available”. most needs a basis for comparison— emotionally available needs interactions with varying degrees of emotional availability. and everyone respects blackbeard; ivan and fang don’t give a fuck if izzy is the only one around, even if he says he’s supposedly enforcing ed’s word. they do care if ed’s nearby.

all this says— ed spends time with them. ed is a working, functioning member of the crew, planning and implementation alike. if he wasn’t, if izzy was the main arbiter of ed’s will, then why do they immediately relax when he’s the one laying down the law?

izzy tells us he’s the one everyone respects in that speech— that the crew doubts ed, not him. in the same speech, he says ed is erratic and needs to focus.

we know ed doesn't need to focus; save for one detail missed, his plan is set. and we know izzy is not the one maintaining the crew’s respect for ed.

so why is it accepted that ed is erratic? why is it accepted that izzy is the one pulling most of his weight?

there is a very subtle joke about izzy worked into the narrative that i need to explain to get to my next point.

the story fang tells in e5 about izzy pointedly mentions his symptoms— spewing out both ends. this is the setup. in the finale, we get the punchline: when izzy, having taken control of the ship, triumphantly proclaims it to be izzy’s revenge and wee john says that sounds like an intestinal condition.

that’s a montezuma’s revenge joke, baby. this is some next level setup/payoff for a very, very subtle joke.

now, for anybody who doesn't know, montezuma’s revenge is a nickname for a somewhat apocryphal, sometimes real condition: traveller’s diarrhea, if you wanna go look it up.

the point here is the colloquial part. montezuma’s revenge is named for the last aztec ruler before the spanish rolled up and crashed the party for good (to be terribly simplistic about a deeply complicated bit of history) and essentially the idea is making white people shit their brains out whenever they cross the border is a sort of forever-curse as a fuck you very much for stealing our land and our shit and also the fuckin genocide, you jerks move.

the aristocrats!!!! 

anyway: so izzy is textually associated with the retribution that befalls colonizers, and we hear it happened when he had control of ed’s ship. then, we get the punchline when he once again takes control of the ship, during the scene where he’s making the black crew members do the hard labor. 

which means, when izzy tells us ed is half-insane and erratic? when he claims ed is somehow in need of izzy to keep himself and his emotions in line, or makes his choices for him, he drags behind him all this textual metaphor colonizer baggage. 

the writers know the world looks at men like izzy and assumes a level of competence and reliability until proven otherwise beyond an absolute shadow of the doubt (and sometimes, even beyond then).

they also know the world looks at men like ed and assumes a level of violent, almost childlike instability.

that’s why montezuma needed to take revenge at all. men who looked like izzy, looking at men who looked like ed, and thinking: you need me to manage you. you are erratic, half-insane. you will ruin yourself if i am not here to make all your choices.

izzy’s written with a much more modern lens than those men. his sins are more erasure and blindness. but he calls on those old patterns, very purposefully. 

ed tells us he can do anything; ed says he’s the one everyone is looking to, and he has to hold himself together with incredible control. ed tells us he can’t ever let go, because it’s on him to be strong— he sings a whole song about it.

to say ed needs help and has problems, and he deserves tenderness and rest— those things are true. ed’s walls, his need to keep that impeccable control in ways that very obviously harm him and sometimes the people around him, the fact that he’s reached a place where he casually mentions attempting death since hey, why not; none of these things indicate he's at an awesome place in his life. and we all need help, audience and every single character on the show alike.

but i think when we ask ourselves do we believe ed when he tells us what his life is like, or do we believe izzy’s version of events, considering the baggage they both bring into the conversation is really important.

[lynne-monstr]

Writers Month Day 14: Fairy Tale

prompt requested by @ketzwrites (thanks!)

.

There’s a prince locked away in the tallest tower of Edom, kept prisoner by his evil demon father. Alec intends to rescue him and make him his husband.

“What, really?” Isabelle asks, arms crossed over her chest.

“I mean, not if he doesn’t want to,” Alec responds. “But come on, he’s got to be bored up there all alone. It’s a good deal. He’d be a fool to turn it down.”

“Wow, and they say romance is dead.”

“Not all of us were lucky enough to find love on the training field,” Alec shoots back.

Isabelle smiles in a way that softens her whole face. It’s widely known throughout the kingdom that the only thing more terrifying than Isabelle Lightwood on the training field is when she and her wife team up to take challengers. But the downside of her whirlwind marriage to Lydia Branwell is that it had knocked from the running the only contender who qualified by the Nephilim’s own ancient laws to share the throne with Alec by marriage.

Not that Prince Alec is upset by that. If anything, he’s relieved. With Lydia off the market, there’s no pressure on him to propose an unwanted match. It does, however, leave the throne vulnerable.

“So that’s your plan?” Isabelle asks. “Sneak into Edom and hope to get a marriage contract signed just for showing up and smiling.”

“And slaying the dragon.” Alec’s looking forward to that part. He has a new bow and everything. It shoots five arrows. Five.

Isabelle doesn’t look convinced. “How do you know this guy even likes men?”

Alec groans. “Come on, Izzy, I did my research in the archives. Magnus Bane once put a sign in front of his tower that read ‘Caution: Goes Both Ways.’ I think it’s safe to say he likes guys.”

The question is, would Magnus Bane like him? At least, would he like him enough to say yes. Alec is trying not to think too hard about the answer. He can’t afford to fail in this quest.

Isabelle looks impressed before her forehead scrunches up in a way Alec would never dare call adorable to her face. “How’d he do that if he’s locked up?”

“Magic, I guess? He’s a warlock.” Alec frowns. “Why are you so against this anyway? You know the laws as well as I do. If I don’t marry before I turn 25, the Morgensterns have legal grounds to challenge our right to the crown. I have to do this.”

“I know, Alec. It’s just…what about love? You deserve to be happy.”

“I’ll be happy when I secure the throne.” Alec grins and hopes it doesn’t look strained. Happiness was never in the cards for him. “Besides, it’s just Edom. And a dragon. How hard can it be?”

.

(Several Days Later. In Edom.)

Alec backs into the hard stone wall, his own arrow digging into his throat.

“I’m here to rescue you!” he shouts. The words cause the sharpened point to dig into his throat and he winces.

“Not another one,” Magnus Bane mutters. He’s on the opposite side of the room, his hands a matching red to the magic levitating Alec’s arrow. Both eyebrows arch upwards in a way that drips sarcasm. “How’s that going for you?”

Alec stops trying to duck around the arrow. It’s a lost cause. “Not great, but I think you can see that.”

There’s a spare dagger sheathed at his back but he doesn’t draw it. For all he’s being threatened, it’s more playful than hostile. The tip of his arrows are sharpened to a fine enough point to pierce any object, yet not a single drop of blood has been drawn from his throat.

Besides, he’s a little busy staring at Magnus Bane.

There are few sketches of the captive warlock in the archives and none of them do him justice. Captive warlock might be a slight misnomer, he corrects, mentally cursing the archives of Alicante. Nowhere in his research did it suggest that Magnus Bane has anywhere near the level of power he’s displaying. Whatever’s keeping him in this tower, it isn’t the scraps of low-level entrapment spells that barely cover the entrances.

He’s also the most beautiful man Prince Alec has ever laid eyes on. His dark hair is styled high on his head and his clothing is fine enough to cost a good chunk of Alec’s monthly household budget. The dramatic makeup isn’t something Alec usually sees on men, but it suits him. Silver metal glints on his fingers and his chest, swaying with him as he moves. He looks equal parts deadly and drop dead gorgeous.

Alec doesn’t realize his tongue has darted out to lick his lips until Magnus’ deeply lines eyes flicker down to look at his mouth. A surge of heat rushes downwards and he shifts against where he’s pressed against the wall.

“Um, can you let me go now?” Alec asks.

“Let you go?” Magnus’ expression darkens. “I should throw you in the dungeon for what you did to Harold.”

“Harold?”

Magnus gestures towards the injured dragon behind him. The beast has four arrows sticking out of its hide. As if sensing prying eyes, it whines in what sounds like pain and hides its head. “I don’t take lightly to people hurting my friends.”

“I was trying to rescue you!”

An whirlwind rages in Magnus’ eyes as he spits out each word.“You broke into my home. The only person I need to be rescued from is you.” He curls his lips as he adds, “And I’m doing a stellar job of it, if I do say so myself.”

He raises an arm and Alec tenses, ready to pull his blade and fight, but Magnus merely places his hand on the dragon’s hide. Moments later, the arrows fall to the floor and the wounds heal in a flash of bright blue.

The dragon makes a noise like an excited puppy and stretches out its long neck to nuzzle Magnus’ stomach. Magnus scratches under his dragon’s chin and turns back to Alec. “Now, where were we?”

“Prince Bane.” Alec draws himself up the way he was taught in his earliest etiquette lessons. “I’ve transgressed on your home and I offer my apologies to you and your—” Alec looks at the dragon, who has its eyes closed as Magnus lavishes it with attention, “—your friend,” he finishes, clearing his throat awkwardly.

Magnus’ face brightens. “Most people don’t include Harold in their apology.” He snaps a finger and the arrow at Alec’s neck falls to the ground, the red cloud holding it in place dissipating in a soft pop.

Alec rubs at his neck. “I take it you don’t need to be rescued.”

“Do you have any idea how many books are in this tower?” Magnus’ eyes light up. “I think it used to be a library in the days Before. There’s more magical knowledge here than in the whole of Edom. Why would I want to leave and set foot in my father’s kingdom that only knows war and suffering? I’m happy where I am.”

Each word is a blow and Alec struggles not to show his despair. His quest is a failure. There are other potential matches he can proposition, but the Lightwoods are running out of time and Magnus Bane was the closest available option. Alec doesn’t have time to try again.

“Don’t look so disappointed,” Magnus says, either not realizing or not caring that Alec’s world is falling apart. His shoulders sway slightly as his eyes graze over Alec from head to toe. “We can make the best of it, handsome. I can pretend, if that’s what you’re into. I do a great warlock in distress routine.” He taps his lip with the hand not petting Harold’s scales. “Play your cards right and you can even tie me up before you ‘save’ me.”

Alec nearly trips over his own feet at the realization of what Magnus is suggesting, his thoughts of mounting his family’s defense against the Morgensterns scattering to the oppressive Edom wind.

He can feel the blood rushing to his face. None of his research has prepared him for meeting Magnus Bane. He shakes away the image of Magnus bound up in rope the color of his magic. He’ll think about it later. Much later. When he’s back in his bed behind a locked door.

Right now he has more pressing matters at hand. Princely matters. “Actually, I was thinking marriage.” He came all this way, he may as well take his shot.

Magnus freezes. “Excuse me?”

“I mean,” Alec stumbles to halt. Because that’s exactly what he means. But now, standing in front of his intended, this whole matrimony in exchange for rescue thing seems a lot sketchier than it did in his etiquette books. What can he say to explain why he’d make a good husband. I stalked you, broke into your home, and attacked your friend isn’t exactly a rousing endorsement.

Did other princes really do this? And their princes and princesses agreed to it?

Nevertheless, he steels himself for rejection and explains his people’s predicament. Magnus looks in turn guarded and sympathetic as the full story tumbles out. It isn’t until Alec gets to the part about Valentine’s son Jonathan, whose secret plan is to summon the demon Lilith that Magnus startles.

“Lilith is an ancient enemy of my people as well.” For the first time, Magnus looks discomfited. “She can’t be allowed to roam free.”

“If you marry me, she won’t.”

“You really know how to lay the romance on thick, don’t you.” The words are eerily similar to Isabelle’s own admonition, days earlier. Alec misses her with a fierce ache in his heart but doesn’t have time to dwell on it as Magnus purses his lips and adds, “I’ll need my own closet.”

Alec nods. “Consider it done.”

“And Harold will be given free reign over the kingdom.”

“Naturally.”

“There’s only one last thing. A test, if you will. If you pass, consider my agreement given.”

Alec straightens, hands naturally falling to clasp behind him. “Name it.”

“A kiss.” Magnus takes a step forward, his eyes both an invitation and a challenge.

It’s a challenge Alec readily accepts. In a few long, confident strides he closes the space between them.

The Prince of Edom is a tall man, but those last couple inches mean that he has to look up to meet Alec’s gaze. Ever so gently, Alec curls his hands on either side of Magnus’ neck, thumbs pressing against the underside of his jaw until his head is tilted back enough for Alec’s liking.

Their kiss is the barest press of lips, but Alec feels like he’s drowning.

Magnus tastes like fruit from his lip balm, and the stubble of his facial hair scratches lightly against Alec’s chin. He can feel the racing pulse of Magnus’ throat against his fingers, along with the cool touch of the many necklaces against his palms. Magnus’ own hands clench a bruising grip around Alec’s hips, keeping him in place with a ferocity that lights a spark of hope within Alec, that perhaps Magnus feels the potential igniting between them.

After what feels like forever, they part.

Neither of them is eager to move and in a calculated risk, Alec lets his head drop so his forehead rests against Magnus. His hands uncurl, sliding down to a more appropriate place on Magnus’ shoulders. His very large, very muscular shoulders.

Please let him say yes.

Alec wants this match for the good of his people but, unexpectedly and for the first time, he wants it for himself. He wants Magnus. Not just his body, but his quick wit and his fire and his willingness to throw himself off into the arms of a stranger and a strange kingdom for his people’s safety.

Reluctantly, Alec pulls back into his own space.

“Did I pass?” Alec says.

“Oh that’s one word for it.” Magnus seems to remember himself and straightens so his posture matches Alec’s own. “I accept your offer, Prince Alec.”

Alec can’t help the small, hopeful grin that stretches across his face.

.

(“About the closet. How big is it, exactly?” Magnus asks, as he leads Alec deeper into his tower so they can start planning.)

.

Prince Alec returns to his land and he brings his husband Prince Magnus with him.

[half-bakedboy]

A Dance to Remember

Read on AO3

The annoying blonde that stumbled into her in front of the Pandemonium club was the least of Clary’s worries according to Simon. Reason being, Simon saw no annoying blonde, just Clary arguing with thin air. The strange look he had given her was one out of pure concern and immediate unease as Clary whipped around to follow the blonde that was definitely in front of her a few moments prior. She ignored Simon’s hollars after her in favor of finding him once more. 

“You can see me?” He had said, like he was some invisible superhero out to save the world. Even if he was invisible, you would think he would watch where he was going. How did that work anyway? If he was invisible, wouldn’t he have still collided with her? She would have stumbled and thought she was crazy for a little and then forgot about it. Or was he like a ghost? If that was the case, he should’ve walked right through her under normal circumstances. 

Clary shook her head rapidly as she entered the club. None of that mattered because for some reason, she spoke to him and Simon couldn’t see him. So either she was insane or, well, there had to be another explanation in there. And Clary wasn’t one to not get to the bottom of things. She saw the flash of blonde hair disappear behind a curtain, followed closely by a brunette who glanced back as if to check for someone.

“Clary, what are you doing?” Simon asked, out of breath, as he finally reached her. Clary shook her head before she grabbed a shot off the counter and tossed it back like she had done it before. The burn of the alcohol was not expected and she coughed violently before pointing toward the curtain. 

“I’m going back there. You stay here and… mingle,” Clary suggested as she bolted off. She knew that Simon would listen to her as he always did. Loyalty was something she could always count on from Simon. She walked to the curtain and, holding herself with a new found confidence that she was sure the shot had graced her with, hooked her arm around a bouncer.

“Somebody works out. Cool contacts,” Clary commented as she walked through the curtain with him. His eyes glowed blue, but before she could focus on it, she froze as she saw the platinum blonde hair in front of her. Clary had to hold back a gasp at how beautiful the woman looked. She was quite possibly the most beautiful woman Clary had ever seen. 

“Izzy,” the blonde man called. The woman nodded and took a few measured steps before she stepped onto one of the platforms in the middle of the room. Clary’s eyes went wide as she dropped her coat, drool immediately pooling in Clary’s mouth. The woman, Izzy, she assumed, was barely covered by white latex; a ring around her throat, a band across her chest, and a mini skirt that showed off tanned, smooth legs. The platinum blonde hair matched the outfit perfectly and Clary couldn’t help but stare. Then, Izzy pulled off the wig and let long, black hair fall down her back as she started to dance. 

Her movements were mesmerizing, her hips rotating perfectly to the beat and her arms raising above her head so tantalizing slow. Clary could barely take her eyes off of her. She heard a high pitched noise that sounded vaguely familiar but she couldn’t place it, and when she looked over at the blonde man, he had a gleaming blade at a woman’s throat. Before she could think, she ran. 

“Watch out!” She screamed as she knocked the woman away from the blonde and the blade out of his hand. He pushed Clary back and she landed hard, sliding across the floor. She heard him say something, but her eyes focused on the woman she had just saved. She wasn’t a woman at all. Her face contorted and her mouth broke open into four slabs of flesh, each pointed with a sharp tooth. Clary was too focused on the monster to see the blue eyed bouncer charging toward her. 

At the last moment, she caught his eyes and screamed. Just as he reached out for her, a whip coiled around his neck, electricity sparking off of it. He groaned as his hands shot to his neck. He pushed it aside and turned back toward Izzy. Clary saw two men surrounding her and felt the urge to help her. She grabbed what had once been in the blonde’s hand and it formed into the glowing blade. She thrust it into the blue eyed man’s back and he disappeared in a cloud of sparks. 

She barely had time to think before the blonde and brunette men and Izzy were thrusting their blades into every single creature that burst out at them. Clary stood frozen as she watched the carnage around her. She couldn’t take her eyes off Izzy, who was using her hands, her whip, and a blade to demolish every man who approached her. When she could, she watched the blonde and the brunette work together, seeming to read each other's minds with every move. 

Izzy sliced her last opponent's neck and silence overtook the room. Clary wasn’t sure why she couldn’t hear the beat of the club just behind the curtain, but she really couldn’t believe anything that was happening at that moment. Her body was telling her to run, go back to find Simon and then find Luke and tell him what had just happened. But then Izzy was in front of her, a gentle hand on her hair. 

“Are you okay?” Izzy asked. Clary nodded and resisted the urge to look more thoroughly at Izzy now that she was standing so close. 

“Are you really asking if she’s okay? She just compromised our whole mission, Iz,” the blonde accused. Clary rolled her eyes and tossed the blade in her hand in his direction. 

“I don’t know what your ‘mission’ was, but if it was to not get killed, you’re welcome,” Clary sassed. A petite giggle left Izzy’s lips and Clary glanced at her, hoping the stars in her eyes weren’t too obvious. Izzy stopped laughing and stared at Clary’s waist, moving closer to her. Clary gasped as Izzy reached out to grab at her skin. Wait, why could she feel Izzy’s hand, she was wearing a shirt. She glanced down and saw the side of her shirt had been ripped open and a bloody gash had replaced it. 

“She’s hurt, Jace. Give me your stele,” Izzy demanded. Clary didn’t know what that was but she was in too much shock to ask. Jace huffed and handed over a long, wand looking instrument. 

“If she’s not a shadowhunter, you’re killing her, Iz,” the brunette warned, but he didn’t seem to really care judging by the exasperated tone in his voice. Izzy gripped the stele tightly in her hand and glanced up at Clary. 

“The witchlight glowed for her, Alec. She’s a shadowhunter. I know it,” Izzy stated confidently. She brought the stele over Clary’s wound and Clary watched as it glowed. She winced and jumped at the intense burn she wasn’t expecting. 

“Ouch! What is that?” Clary asked. Izzy pulled away and Clary watched as her wound disappeared. Izzy smiled and nodded at her work before tossing the stele back to Jace. 

“That is a rune. And you are a shadowhunter,” she said as she held out her hand. “And I’m Izzy,” she finished. Clary took her outstretched, mostly because she really wanted to get her hands on Izzy. She felt herself warm as their hands connected. Izzy must have felt it too as her face turned a bit redder. Clary smiled softly at her. 

“Clary,” she introduced herself. Alec’s eyes widened and Jace let out a burst of laughter. 

“This is Clarissa Fairchild?” Jace shouted as another man burst in through the curtain. 

“That is Clarissa Fairchild and you’re all in danger. The Circle is here and they know where to find Jocelyn,” the man warned. He waved his hands, blue sparks emanating from them as a swirl of purple appeared. “This portal will take you to her. Go, save her,” he begged. At the mention of being saved, Clary froze. 

“You know my mom? Who’s found her? What is that? What is going on?!” Clary asked as Jace and Alec walked into the purple mist that was apparently a magical portal. Izzy turned toward her and held out her hand once more. 

“Will you trust me, Clary?” Izzy asked softly. Clary wasn’t sure why, but she did trust her. And that had her taking Izzy’s hand and following her through the portal to wherever Izzy wanted to lead her.