#i was listening to life jacket by bad suns while drawing this :3

[natotally]

Life Jacket

[alyssadeliv]

The Forgotten One

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Chapter 12

They were going to the zoo. Richard had decided that after two months of her living in the Manor it was time to have some family bonding time. It didn’t matter that most of her time in the last months was used to get to know her new extended family or get reacquainted with her old one. 

He was adamant that she needed the full Gothamite experience, so here they were on a Friday afternoon on a crowded metro, listening as the oldest one tried and explained how Metro’s worked to her. He was so happy, gesticulating and smiling, that she didn’t have the heart to tell him that she indeed knew how the metro worked, having lived in Paris for almost two full years.

After Damian, Richard was her favorite sibling, mostly because she had always seen him as a role model, as part of her training had been inspired by him and his trapeze maneuvers, but she did enjoy the warmth that she tended to feel when he was around. He was patient and had no problem explaining pop culture references to her. Not that she didn't enjoy spending time with her other siblings, it was just that Richard went out of his way to make her feel accepted.

Tim was a very busy person, and their interactions were reserved to 3 a.m. coffee hunts. He wasn’t bad, just closed off, and a little wary of her after his first experience with Damian. Not that she could blame him. But she was a bit closer to his girlfriend, Stephanie Brown, who would come to have dinner at the Manor every week. 

And there was Jason. She refused to address him as her brother, that would just be plain weird. After the initial shock of finding each other again had worn out, it had taken a few weeks for them to finally address the elephant in the room. She could tell that he had struggled with the news that she was Bruce’s biological daughter.

“Dick, maybe speed the lecture a bit so we can still get to the zoo before it closes.” Jason was leaning casually against a wall, finding this whole situation funny. He was wearing jeans and his red leather jacket, nothing special, but if she was honest he looked rather handsome. 

“It’s fine Jaybird, I was just wrapping it up!” He says with a smile, just in time for them to catch the next wagon. Because they spent at least 25 minutes listening to Richard’s lesson, the metro had emptied a bit so they were able to find seats. It was just the three of them, the others would meet them there, after being picked up by Alfred, Damian after school, and Timothy after a meeting. 

“So… I know Bruce said not to ask, but I’ve been dying to know…” Richard starts unsure, afraid to cross a line. They were lucky to score seats in the same section, she was seated with Jason by her side, with Richard in front of him facing them both. “But how exactly did you two meet, I mean it was obviously at… Tibet-'' He caught himself before he could out them as members of the League, you never knew who could be listening in their conversation, so better safe than sorry. “- but why do you know Jason, but Damian didn’t?” 

With a glance to the side, she was more than happy to allow Jason to explain that part. In the two months she lived at the Manor she saw how much they wanted to ask about their relationship, but kept their distance. Aside from Damian, they didn’t feel the need to inform the family about their past. 

“Well, Pixie Pop here was the one to train me for the duration of my time in the Temple. Kicked my ass more times than I can count.” He says with a smirk, while casually butting an arm on the back of her seat. “She taught me most of what I know”

“Most of it?” She was indignant, but the smile on her face betrayed her true emotions.

“To be fair B didn’t totally suck as a parent.” She knew that he and Father didn’t have the best relationship after he came back from his time at the League, but according to Damian, it used to be way worse, not that she would know. Richard seems content with their explanation and didn't demand more information, even if he desperately wanted to. He respects their boundaries, and that only makes her like him more.

When they got to the zoo, Damian and Timothy were already there, but surprisingly Stephanie had tagged along, so now she wasn’t the only female in the group anymore, not that she cared, but she liked her brother’s girlfriend so the surprise was appreciated. 

She had never been to the zoo before, just to see the attractions. The times she went to fight an Akuma did not count. It was a bit sad seeing all these animals stuck in a cage, and she could tell her brother felt the same. Damian always had a soft spot for animals, and would not tolerate if they were being mistreated. Not surprisingly, the Waynes made annual donations to the zoo to ensure that all the animals were well taken care of. When she first heard about that she was glad that Father cared about Damian’s interests enough to pay to support every zoo and animal shelter in the city. It helped ease her guilt for abandoning him for two years knowing that now she was not the only one who cared for him.

They spend the rest of the afternoon enjoying the animals. And Dick was glad he chose to go to the zoo as a family bonding experience. When Damian first came into the family he had taken him there, after discovering that his younger brother absolutely adored animals and he was happy to see that Marianne liked it as well.  

Efficient as always, Alfred was already there waiting for them the minute they crossed the exit of the building. As she came to know, the men seemed to have a six sense when it came to all of them. Just by his aura, she could tell he wasn’t someone you wanted to cross, but she could see how much he loved each one of his grandchildren (because she could never kid herself to think of him any less than a Grandfather).

“I assume that today's activities were enjoyable.” The butler asks as he opens the back door of the limo for them. Richard enters first thanking the men.

“It was acceptable” Damian voices, as he too enters the vehicle.  

It was a bit of a ride, seeing that the Manor was almost outside of Gotham, but she didn’t mind. Seated between Richard and Damian she spent most of the journey chatting with everyone. But by the time they arrived at the house everyone was a bit tired, so dinner was a relatively small affair. But not uneventful, because as revenge for Bruce bailing on family day, the boys started sharing with her all the shenanigans of her father’s public persona, Brucie Wayne. It was amusing to see this new side to her father, always so reserved and serious. 

“If you are all finished sharing Master Bruce's embarrassing moments, I believe it is time for patrol.”  Alfred as always came to defuse the situation before it could implode. 

Because she spent most of the last two years fighting almost every single day, she decided that she needed some rest from her hero lifestyle. Even after her father asked if she would like to accompany them on patrols, she decided to turn it down for now. So while her family directed themselves to the cave, she made her way into her suite. 

It was a beautiful room. Although the color scheme wasn’t something she would have picked herself, it fit with the furniture rather nicely, and her artist side appreciated that. The room itself was simple, but the red colors and the dark wood made the room seem cozier than it was. With a double bed with a canopy, two bedside tables, a vanity with a mirror, and a wardrobe, it had everything she needed. Her Father had encouraged her to decorate her room the way she wanted, and she had been tempted to do so, but ultimately decided to wait until she settled into her role as a family member before she went and added more change to the mix. What she had been very close to doing was adding a desk so she could draw and design, but after she discovered that there was a big one in the library just a few doors from her room, she dismissed the idea.  

Quickly she showered and changed into something more comfortable than her street attire, before exiting the room and making her way into the library. It wasn’t as big as the one downstairs, but it had a big balcony that overlooked the gardens, so she liked to just sit in a shadow and sketch away. Damian had been kind enough to spare one of his unused sketchbooks and some pencils, knowing that she liked to draw just as much as he did. She leaned forward into the railing resting her arms and head, but still looking upwards.

The sun had already set, and she was glad that they were far enough away from the city that she could see some stars in the sky. Having lived in Paris, she had really missed all the stars she could see at night from her home on the League. One of her studies had been about the Astros, so she spent a lot of time as a kid contemplating the skies. 

“It’s going to rain soon” A voice comes from behind her. Without having to turn around she knew who it was. A smile appears on her face.

“Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready for patrol?” She asks, straightening her body, but still not turning around. She could feel the person getting closer to her until she felt a presence at her side. 

“That’s the whole point. It's gonna rain.” He carries a hint of humor in his tone “And besides I prefer to keep you company, Pretty Girl. Besides, I believe Red Hood deserves one night off. The guy has been working hard.” He jokes.

With a smile she finally faces him. He had showered and changed, and without his red jacket, he looked so relaxed. It reminded her of their time in the League. Like that he looked so much like the angry boy she helped train. So young and while broken, so full of life and fight in him. He smirks at her but turns his face upwards to look at the night. 

“You always did love the stars.” He commented, not looking at her. “It’s sad that here you can't see them as much.” 

“It’s not that bad. In Paris, you couldn't see any. It was sad, but to be fair the whole city more than compensated for that. It’s beautiful there.” She recalled all the times she went on a midnight stroll around the city, just enjoying the architecture. “I could spend eternity drawing all the details in the buildings.” 

“Do you miss it?” He asks, looking at her. His tone is neutral, but by his body language, she can tell he’s anxious for her answer. She had always been good at reading him, and she was glad that their time apart had not changed that. 

“In a way…” 

She sighs.

“I liked the city, but I spent most of my time there fighting and training. Not much different from before. It was like everything changed but was still the same. To be completely honest… I miss our time at the League the most.” She confesses but hurriedly continues. “Don’t get me wrong, it was hard! But still… at the same time…”

“I get it.” He interrupts her. He has a small side smile, and the dimples on his face make her want to freeze this moment and draw him so she could eternalize him. Instead, she gets closer to him, seeking comfort in his presence at her side. He embraces her. Securing her in his arms, her body pressed against his, her head buried in his chest.

It was funny to think that the most capable woman to take care of herself he knew, chose to be vulnerable around him. It made him feel loved.

“I miss it too.” He whispered in her ear. She raises her head, just enough that she can see his face without removing herself from his arms. Staying like this reminds her of all the nights he used to sneak into her chambers. And they would talk and hold each other for hours. It felt like it was just yesterday the first time he got the better of her.

“Focus!” She yelled while landing a kick at his unprotected left side. “You are unbalanced- in three moves I could have you on the ground again” She punched him to his right, but he was able to block her and tried to deliver a punch of his own. His knuckles were bloodied, and he knew that in the morning his ribs would hurt. But at this moment he was high on adrenaline. She dodged. 

They were training for what felt like hours. But both were too stubborn to ask for the fight to end. 

But just as promised, in three more moves he was on the ground. He tried to get back on his feet to continue with the fight but was stopped by a foot on his torso.

“That’s enough.” She helps him to get on his feet. “You were great! You could have overpowered me so many times! I left you so many openings!” She laughs. This was routine for them. After a fight, Marianne was usually so pumped with adrenaline that she spoke at a mile per hour. “We really need to work on your tactics this week. Oh! You also need to improve your stance, you’ve been favoring your right side too much. I know your ribs hurt but you still need to protect your body as a whole.” She comments only stopping to take a large sip of water. “Well, I am spent.”

“You’re spent? I’m the one that has been eating dirt for the whole hour!” He complains indignantly. She tossed a water bottle in his direction, which he grabs and happily finishes in a single gulp.

“Just another reason you need to study more!” She grins. And turns to exit the room, and while walking to the door turns to him again. 

“See you in a bit” She winks. 

When they meet again they are in her room. She’s seated on the bed sketching some view, while Jason sits on the floor sharpening his knife. They chat casually for some time, but ultimately end speaking about their training session earlier. 

“That move would have totally worked!” He exclaims, knife long forgotten he now kneels facing her bed. 

“There’s where you are wrong, you need strength on your fist on both sides to push my torso, otherwise I would easily be able to doge only one. You need two punches at different sides in succession for you to distract your opponent!” She explains in a hurry. Her thoughts jumped around her head. 

“No way! If it’s strong enough, only one is needed!” He argues.

Worked up she threw her notebook to the side, forgotten. In a second she was up, signaling for him to do the same.

“There is no way. Stand there, pretend to be in stance.” She directs, and without a second thought, he complies. “Okay, so I come for your right side first, you are stronger there.” 

Her movements are slowed, as she demonstrates the move. “That’s going to distract you, and keep you focused on your stronger side, leaving your weaker one unprotected.” She shows him where he left an opening for her. “So all I need to do now is strike again, focusing more strength now. Either a punch or a kick would do the trick.” As she goes to demonstrate her point, he grabs the incoming slow punch and pulls her into his body. 

Unprepared she loses her balance, falling into his chest. In a second he secures her with his other arm, keeping her in his embrace. She feels her face burning with embarrassment. He caught her by surprise, and she felt ashamed.

“Hey that wasn't fai-” But he silences her, bringing his face closer to hers and giving her a heated kiss. It lasts for some time, but when they finally separate themselves he has a grin on his face.

“Just to be clear, I knew the move wouldn’t have worked. You just look cute when you're angry.” 

And before she can protest he shuts her up with another kiss.

So this is by far the biggest chapter! Hope ya’ll like it! We finally get the story behind Jason and Marianne. Let me know what you think!

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[seodami]

Dearest treasure | KTH

|PART1| |PART 2| |PART 3|

Summary: Every kid in town was afraid of Kang Taehyun, the old -slightly creepy- man living alone for years and years in the same run down house. Every night he would go into his backyard with a shovel and dig a hole into the earth. No one knows why and there are kids rumouring about him burying people. Jungwon was a bright kid, wanting to find out the truth behind this widely spread rumour for a school project. And what he found out would change his life forever.

Genre: fluff, angst, flashbacks, story of life, snippets of life, tiny bit humour

Warning: old Taehyun, mention of death, mention of suicide/suicidal thoughts, death

Word count: 10152 (all 3 parts)

Pairing: Kang Taehyun x reader, (Yang Jungwon)

Note: Wow okay so this story took me a while to write and I listened to hours of das music to finish this🥺 this was honestly an emotional rollercoaster. But I’m so glad it’s finally finished so I can post it on here yayyy!!! I hope you like it an enjoooyy (please tell me if you cried I would really appreciate your responses haha bc I did)

Main masterlist

2089 (present)

Deathly silence hung in the air as thick as smog. In Jungwons eyes pooled tears, ready to spill over the edges to fall into free fall and drop heavily onto his trousers. His heart was burning, not finding any suitable words of comfort or understanding for the old man in front of him. His throat felt like it was tied up so tightly, he couldn’t breathe. Oh, how didn’t he know? Oh, how could anyone talk bad behind his back? So much hurt…

Mr. Kangs head hung low, not daring to make any other noice than his sniffling nose. Hot tear drops were silently dropping down, it felt suffocating just watching him so full of hurt and sorrow. Suddenly Jungwon felt sorry to let him relive his whole life together with the terrible pain even the young boy could feel.

“I- I…I never could…forgive myself. It was my fault-“ the once handsome mans face was dark and the wrinkles now seemingly even deeper full of regrets and unspoken words. “You wouldn’t understand, boy-“

Jungwon couldn’t form any appropriate words at that moment and let the sadness let him take away just for a little longer. His story was heavy… he felt like he just heard something he shouldn’t have heard. Something so private and fragile. It had touched him more than he had thought.

“I didn’t want to live anymore… it was all worthless since then… I had no motivation to keep going.” His voice became a tad more stable, yet still quiet and weak. His tired eyes met the innocent boys and for a second the old man could see his younger self inside his big brown eyes. Sadness and nostalgia rolled over him and he averted his gaze.

“I tried ending my life many times since that day- it never worked no matter how much I wanted it… and then I just…I just mouldered…alone, broken- and just a shell of my old self. I wasn’t the once happy, bright, clever boy anymore. I could never be that again…”

Jungwons heart felt heavy, breathing wasn’t bearable. His hands unconsciously reached forward to the tiny lost figure sitting in his sunken mould. It was a simple touch but for Mr. Kang it was the first reassuring and comforting gesture he had received in a long long time. It made him tear up stronger, still staying silent. The young boy wanted to be there for the old man. He wanted to show him that he wasn’t alone in this.

Moments of depressing, yet healing silence passed, just the ticking of the old clock in the dark living room was heard. “I’m so sorry Mr. Kang…” Jungwon finally whispered, unsure if the man spoken to even heard it. He couldn’t do much but be there in this moment. Quite honestly he felt like crying himself. But he wanted to stay strong for him.

“One day-“ Mr. Kangs voice shook a little but he kept talking. “-I remembered the time capsule. My dearest treasure. So long ago. And I made it my life mission to find it. One last moment to hold onto and…look back to.” A thick single tear slowly rolled down Jungwons cheek. So that was it. That’s why… and everyone had dragged the vulnerable man down, putting even more dirt into his deep wounds.

“I-I searched everywhere. But…but i just…forgot. It’s my last wish before I finish this…” life he wanted to say. Finish his life. It made the school boy unbelievable sad. Oh how much he must’ve suffered his whole life. And before Jungwon could’ve decided differently, a strong feeling of wanting to help and support creeped up to him.

“I’m gonna help you Mr. Kang. We will find your treasure.” Jungwon reassuringly took the heavy, wrinkled hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. It was the first time since that day, that he felt hope again. Just a tiny tiny splinter but it was there. Hope.

The next hours, both of the males digged holes through the whole garden, not saving any sweat, too focused on finding the mans greatest desire. Mr. Kang had already reached his limit after three holes, following with the 14 year old boy leading him towards an old wooden garden bench to rest on. Jungwon on the other hand was full of verve and energy to fulfill his dearest wish. To find his dearest treasure. Mr. Kang watched him with surprise and thankfulness, never had anyone gone all the way out to help him with something so important to him. There was never someone who he could’ve went to. After that day, he had broken off all the contact with his old friends. He wanted to feel alone at some point. He deserved the pain. That’s what he had always told himself. But now he was old and weak and just wanted nothing more than to be finally reunited with his beloved family. He missed you everyday. He heard his daughters laughters everyday. And he saw his son running around outside in the garden everyday. He finally wanted to be with his family everyday.

It had already gotten dark and cold at this point, Mr. Kang had brought the hard working boy a jacket and a warm tea. The sun was already long gone, just the small lights from the veranda and from the street shined over towards them. Jungwon was still digging, his once tidy school clothes now full of dirt and dust and drenched in sweat. He couldn’t give up. He knew that. So he kept digging and digging. The moon was fondly watching at the pair below, shining just a tad brighter tonight for them. Short friendly small talk about school went quickly over to heartfelt conversations about life and this and that. Nobody, not even the moon, would’ve thought that the bitter, lonely 87 year old Taehyun and the bright, cheerful 14 year old Jungwon would’ve ever even crossed paths, yet life showed again how unpredictable and full of surprises it could be. This night, a tight bond between the two men was woven. So unexpected but yet so lovely.

The clock already told them it was 6 minutes before midnight when another noice cut through the silent night air. A metallic sound. Gasping, Jungwon threw the shovel away, excitement now rushing through his veins. He fell onto his knees, not caring about the moist soil on his trousers. His hands digged through the last part, brown earth now sticking behind his nails, and moments later, he pulled out a medium sized metal box, securely wrapped in plastic. Jungwon felt like he just won the Olympics, he felt like he did it. He did it…

A quick gaze onto the bench showed him the sleeping old man, now seeming even tinier than before. With shaky steps and a weird feeling of proudness and fulfilment, Jungwon waddled over to the sleeping form, gently waking him up. The box in his hands was tightly in his grasp, not letting go. Mr. Kangs heavy lidded eyes flew open in an instant when he saw the metal box in the boys arms. Tears burned in his thankful eyes, reaching towards it with shaking arms. Everything felt heavy, yet his heart felt the lightest it had felt in a long long time.

“Thank you…so much.” Tears were now unstoppable rolling down his cheeks. It squeezed Jungwons heart, knowing he could make this man happy again, fulfilling his last wish. The both of them moved up to the house again, warmth engulfing them with its now familiar scent. Comfort. The old man reassured the boy to stay but seeing the box being opened, Jungwon felt as if he got to see something way too private. But he stayed, looking over the sniffling mans shoulder when he pulled out a small pink toy dolphin. His hands were shaking. “This was my daughters. It was her favorite toy when she was…two years old.”

Taehyuns heart clenched, seeing all his treasures in front of him. He desperately pressed the small toy against his chest, letting all his emotions in. It was intense, yet it was all he ever wanted. Seeing the familiar drawings of a green giraffe, sitting on a cloud with a family next to it. He could read all their names above the figures. Oh Taehee…

Looking through the photographs, old memories surfaced and made the man tear up even heavier. He didn’t knew how much he really had missed them. It was as if his empty shell was slowly filled again, reliving all of your best and worst moments. He saw a picture on his old friends Hueningkais 18th birthday. All of his friends were there, cake smeared all across your faces, the brightest smiles someone could ever see. The day he had first met you… Another picture had all of your friends sitting around a small bonfire, being cuddled inside blankets. Taehyun saw his younger handsome self smiling unsure into the camera with you sitting beside him. He could only laugh sadly at the memories of your camping trip where he first had kissed you, the guilty feeling just as clear.

“She looks so happy here…” Taehyun noticed with a testy smile, gently touching your face on the picture, seeing you and him laying on a bed, arms tightly slung around your frame, as you held the camera. His large eyes showed nothing but the purest form of love as he looked over to you. Oh he was such a lovesick fool. “You were a pretty couple…” Jungwon whispered, glancing over the handsome young man and the pretty women. He wished to find someone in his life later, he could look at with just as much love as he did. Taehyun nodded, pulling out the next photo. It was the two of you kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, big smiles on both of your faces. Taehyun remembered, it was when he courageously decided to fly around half the globe to you to fix your relationship. He didn’t want to give you up, thank god he didn’t. Another photograph showed you holding your first ultrasound picture, tears streaming down your face. You were both so young and already on the way to becoming parents. It was scary, yes it was one of the most scary moments in life but it was all worth it. The next picture showed you in the hospital bed, looking weak, yet happy. Taehyun was kneeing down next to you, his gaze focused on you and the tiny newborn baby in four arms. A tear dropped down onto the photo but he quickly wiped it away. “Our little Taehee…”

The next picture showed a kissing couple dressed in a gorgeous white dress and a neat black suit. The priest between them was smiling fondly at the newlywed couple. On another one he could see the couple dancing in midst of their guests, white petals laying all over the place. Taehyun sobbed, holding a hand over his mouth. Jungwons hand reassuringly squeezed his shoulder. He was there for him. Taehyuns and your parents were dancing next to you, he could see his friend Yeonjun and Beomgyu dancing with each other playfully and many more of their closest circle. It had been so long. And he missed it. It was such a happy memory.

There were other photographs with you being pregnant, both of your baby pictures, your friends and your parents and a ton of little Taehee running around bubbly in her adorable dresses and overalls. Taehyun hadn’t seen these pictures in a while and it tore his heart into a million pieces. The last picture was inside your new house, the house he never could bring over him to leave. You were all sitting on the carpet, smiling into the camera. The little baby boy snuggling closer in his blanket and the girl pressing a soft kiss onto his tiny head. Taehyuns arms were slung around your frame, head laying on your shoulder relaxing. They were so happy. So happy.

He pulled out an edition of your favorite book with a hand written text inside: ‘For Taehee and Taejun- may they find wisdom and happiness in their long lives. From mum and dad’ Taehyun remembered. Oh he remembered everything. You two would always read this book together since your honeymoon, where you discovered it in one of the local bookstores. Since then it had always be your favorite book. And it hurt him seeing his children never got to read it. Their future was just robbed because of one moment. It was unfair. Why did he get to live when they couldn’t? He never understood.

The last thing Taehyun pulled out of the box was the pink letter littered with dozen of glitter stickers. ‘To my love’ stood on top of it in your cursive handwriting. He gulped, knowing exactly this was made for him personally. It was the letter he dreaded reading. The moment he waited for. The reason he wanted to find this box in the first place. His love. Jungwon stood stiff and still next to him, not daring to say a word. With shaking fingers, he carefully opened the envelope without tearing it. He could immediately recognise your pretty handwriting and already teared up when he read over the first sentence. ‘To my dear love Taehyun, whom I always love’ with another nod, he dared reading through the heartfelt letter.

‘So this is where life led us, what? To be quite honest with you, my 17 year old me would’ve never thought about marrying the handsome boy from Hueningkais birthday party, let alone have his children and buy our first house together. Life went wild with us, am I right Tae? But I regret nothing. Not even when I stole your favorite hoodie out of your closet without you knowing. Everyone was so done with my reckless personality and I often felt misunderstood in my younger days as you know. But you just always seemed to just see the best in me. Even when I felt like giving it all up. You were always there for me. And you were the only one to fully understand and accept me how I am. This is something I never told you in person but I can’t remember how life was without you before. In my mind, you were always there and I know that you will always be there for our family in our long future. I hope when you read this, we are both still happily married, watching our children and grandchildren laugh about all our ridiculous photos inside this box. And Taehee, oh she must be so happy to see her favorite toy again haha. Taehyun, you are my best friend, my first love, my first heartache, my true soulmate and the best husband in the whole world. You are and will always be my love, no matter how time will turn our lives around. We are always together. I love you always,

Your dearest wife Y/N

(P.S. don’t worry about getting old, you are still my handsome prince I fell in love with!)’

At this point, Taehyun was a sobbing mess, not caring what the young boy might think of him. This letter had touched his soul, his deepest heart. He felt every word you’ve written just as if it was you whispering each of them into his ear. He never felt the urge that strong before to be by your side, hug you, kiss you all over your face, tell you how beautiful you were and whisper how much he loved you and would forever. His life made sense only with his family by his side. There was nothing left to live anymore for Taehyun. And he knew that for a long time already.

Jungwon in this moment didn’t knew what to do anymore. He felt like he had fulfilled his mission, making the old man happy for a last time. With quiet steps, he took his video camera, he totally had forgotten and put it in his backpack laying on the floor abandoned. It was his sign to leave, let the man dwell in his emotions and memories. He was done here. With careful steps he went closer to the sobbing man again, softly putting his hand on his shoulder. He looked up as if he knew what the boy was about to say.

A small smile was on his wrinkled lips, clenching on the boys heart. He weakly pushed himself up just to pull the sweaty, in dirt covered student into a warm embrace. It was the first hug since ages it felt like. The hug remembered Jungwon of his own grandmother and tears stuck in his throat. He missed her. “Thank you so much, Jungwon. You are a wonderful kid. You’ve fulfilled my dearest wish. I will forever be thankful to you. May you be blessed forever. You were the only one willing to listen. Thank you.” Jungwon nodded in his shoulder, trying not to burst into tears on the spot but failed nevertheless in the end. He was so glad seeing the happy man in front of him, now seeming even younger than before. The deep sunken eyes didn’t seem frightening anymore. They were warm and welcoming. He could see sparkles of youth inside them. Yes, Jungwon did the right thing.

When the clock showed sharply half an hour past midnight, Jungwon bid his farewell to the man, he weirdly would consider his friend now, knowing he could sleep well tonight. Taehyun insisted on him keeping the jacket he gave him as well as one of the pictures inside the box for his school project and as a token of gratitude. On his quiet walk back home, he smiled endearingly down to the old photograph he carefully held in his hand. It was the last picture. Where the family of four smiled happily into the camera, sitting onto the fluffy rug Jungwon recognised now. He would treasure this picture forever. It was a generous gift, knowing how important it had been to Mr. Kang. He was so thankful.

The next day, Jungwon excitedly presented his project in class. Even though his mother yelled at him concerned where he was until this late, he managed to edit the video for his project, tearing up in the process but still felt motivated to keep going. It was important that he made this his best project. Not for him or his grade, no, it was for Mr. Kang. He was determined to change everyone’s horrible opinion about the old man.

It was eye opening for everyone. Even Park Jongsong, the scary older student, couldn’t come up with a counter attack and stared wide eyed at the screen in front of the class. It was freeing, knowing that just a bit of courage and kindness could lead you to such wonderful moments. He changed everyone’s opinion about ‘Killer Kang’. And he managed to make an old sad man happy again.

After school, the kind student hurried over to Mr. Kangs house. In bright daylight, the garden looked like a battlefield with tons and tons of freshly digged soil laying all around. Now with a much happier feeling, Jungwon crossed the chaotic lawn, knocking energetically onto the old wodden door. After a while he still hadn’t heard any steps so he tried knocking again. “Mr. Kang? It’s Jungwon. I wanted to show you the finished project. It went amazing.” The boy excitedly bounced on the balls of his feet, too giddy to stand still. There was still no answer, so Jungwon made his way towards the backyard, now being familiar with every inch. He had a weird feeling in the pit of his stomache.

And when he saw the open veranda, the old man sitting in his mould on the old couch, Jungwon let out a relieved breath. With careful steps not to step inside one of the many holes in the ground, he made its way over to Mr. Kang, not without knocking on the wall outside. Still no answer. Maybe he hasn’t heard it or he was sleeping. Jungwon waddled over to the familiar couch, seeing Mr. Kang sitting in his usual spot with his eyes closed. He looked so peaceful, Jungwon first thought the old man was sleeping tightly. Yet when there was still no answers or reactions from his side and when he noticed there was no movement of his upper body, he understood…

Mr. Kang passed away last night. Tears welled up in Jungwons eyes and he heavily let them flow when he saw all the contents of the metallic box scattered around the small desk in front of him. The photos, sorted into time accuracy, the book untouched, the adorable drawings of his young daughter, the green giraffe smiling cheekily at him. The pink letter was open and the neat handwriting was still the same as yesterday. And in Mr. Kangs hands, layed the pink toy dolphin.

Jungwon went onto his knees beside him on the fluffy carpet, letting his hot tears fall freely without restrictions. He may had lost a friend today but he knew deep down, the old kind man was happily reunited with his family. He had gained everything he lost. And for that…how could Jungwon still be sad?

For now and forever, the courageous 14 year old boy, who acted righteous and kind, carried Kang Taehyuns life story out into the wide world, spread his last words so no one would forget the once mysterious man everyone feared to look at. Kang Taehyun, a man who got everything he wished for and then got it taken away from him. A man, who loved dearly. A man, whose story would never be forgotten.

[ivory-sunflower]

Arty Art Things ✨

Hellooo!

I've decided to post some of the arty things I've done either recently or in the last few years, well the pieces I'm somewhat proud of at least. All my posts tend to be a lot more wordy than they need to be but hey it's what I do here!

Conchúr White

Anyone one who's been on this blog for a bit will have probably have seen me talk about this lovely Irish fella. The pencil drawing is actually a year old as of yesterday, I only know that because screenshots of me flipping out about Conchúr following me on twitter popped up in my memories yesterday. I think I'd sent it to him at about 3 in the morning (I was not in a good head space at that point in time), so probably not what he was expecting to see when he opened his phone in the morning aha

The biro version is much more recent: I got bored while sat at my desk and doing research about university courses, saw a biro, saw my old drawing of Conchúr, had an idea. I revisited my GCSE art techniques and here we are. Again, I put this up on Twitter and now (at the the time I'm writing this) when you google "Conchúr White" it's the third top image of him which is a bit mad really. I think I spent all of about 20 minutes on Conchúr but another 45 minutes on the words behind him. The words are the names of the songs on his EP 'Bikini Crops', he doesn't just really love the idea of Channing Tatum driving him around at night in a daisy print bikini... Well maybe he does but what he does in his spare time is none of my business...

TechDif

So I mentioned that the pencil drawing of Conchúr came from a rough patch in my mental health and this one is no different! In fact this one came from an even worse circumstance so we love to see it. I had a bad, bad time in July and this started as a way of distracting myself from what was going on in my head. Without it, I can't honestly say I'd still be here so even if the final product of this had been a terrible mess I would still love it for keeping me alive. However, it did not turn out to be a terrible mess!

Now that the origin of this is out the way, where do I start with TechDif? Unlike Conchúr, I haven't really talked about them on here (unless you count one brief post about Citation Needed) before so I guess I'll do it here. The Technical Difficulties are a wonderful group of 4 British fellas who have had their fair share of fun online and even before. They did a radio show at university together, which went on to become their Reverse Trivia Podcast, later moving on to a panel show called 'Citation Needed': and a game called 'Two of These People Are Lying'. All of which I would thoroughly reccomend, they're one of my go to things when I'm having a rough time. All 4 of them are excellent! Tom Scott (red top, blue jeans on the picture) has his own YouTube channel which does content aside from TechDif. If you're quite nerdy and like science, linguistics, computers, or any number of other things you may enjoy Tom's channel. He is probably best described as "The Moderator" of the group, much like a tired teacher he tries desperately to keep everyone on track with what they're meant to be doing, but usually it does not end well for him. Then we have Matt Gray (space top, holding an ice cream) who also has a channel away from TechDif stuff, he does techy electronic things and has a series called 'Will it Soft Serve?' where he puts all kinds of strange things through a soft serve machine. Matt brings a very specific energy to TechDif and I can't fully describe what that vibe is but I love it. Matt and Tom also share a YouTube channel where TOTPAL is posted and they had a series called 'The Park Bench'. Moving on to everybody's favourite Gary Brannan: Gary Brannan (SATIRE hoodie, glasses) and can I just say, what a fella he is! He's just excellent! He is the one that will argue and rip into Tom the most (not in a malicious way) and hilarity ensues. There are some episodes where he is absolutely on it, getting all the points and others where he very clearly has no idea and that's where some of his funniest quotes come from. Given how badly I was doing at the time I made this, his response to it on Twitter was so so lovely. I specifically remember one tweet where he said I'd made him happy and although it was probably a flippant comment, it just made feel alright for a bit. Yeah I might be feeling awful right now, but I've made someone else happy so that's a nice feeling. Then last but certainly not least, we have Chris Joel (buffalo check shirt, beard)! I would be lying if I said he isn’t my favourite... His sense of humor is the one I vibe with most, he can get rather dramatic in parts and can chat bollocks like a champion. He has absolutely no online presence away from TechDif and, like Rens from Temples, I fully believe he’s a cryptid and lives off in a tree somewhere. 

The picture took me about 4 days to complete, well 4 nights because I did most of it between the hours of 12 a.m. and 7a.m. - I remember watching the sun come through my window each morning. It’s made up of lots of little pieces, all cut out and stuck on; even the sky and hills are made of separate pieces of paper. Nothing was actually drawn on the piece of paper it’s all stuck on, it’s not how I usually do things but if I messed up one little but I could just redraw it rather than ruining the whole thing. The most tedious parts to make were Chris’ shirt because I had to draw each square individually and then join the as well, and cutting out the ban-hammer in the bottom right was surprisingly hard. Every single detail of the picture is a reference to the podcast/shows, I still have the plan sketch and reference list knocking about somewhere. I listened to a lot of true crime videos while making it to the point that certain parts remind me of different cases: the brandy now reminds me of Peter Tobin, and the big spiral thing reminds me of Tim McLean (very harrowing case) - sorry that fact is a bit morbid but interesting nonetheless. 

I did post this for a little bit back in July, but I received some rather awful messages so I took it down. Generally, Tom Scott/TechDif fans are lovely but there’s been a few that have taken a disliking to me for some reason so I’m hoping they don’t resurface again. I’m in a better head space now though, so even if they do I’m more equipped to deal with it this time.

Hozier

This was a quick sketch I did in April, I was getting bored with lockdown and decided to summon the bog man himself. There’s not really much more backstory than that, no poor mental health story, no fun twitter story - he’s just here. He’s vibing. I will say I’m particularly proud of his nose, I just think it’s one of the best noses I’ve ever drawn. His hand is okay, but I think that the hands on my Conchúr drawings are better. So there is the Hozi-Boi...

The Corpse Bry

I’ve talked about Bry on here before as well, I love him, he’s excellent, top lad. He is a living Tim Burton character, he’s 6′6, very skinny, and his legs are longer than my will to live. I was watching ‘The Corpse Bride’ a few weeks ago and suddenly had an idea and so ‘The Corpse Bry’ came to be. I gave him a little panda friend because the panda has always been his animal - he used to wear a panda beanie all the time and his album had a panda on the cover. Again, there’s not really a fun story behind this one, I guess it’s somewhat fun because it’s the first art I made after finishing my psychology exams in October so it was nice to actually have the time to draw.

James Bagshaw

Ginger talking about Temples for the third post in a row? it’s more likely than you think! I did this one last week, I’d had a bit of a wobbly day and had group therapy on Teams in the evening and I just couldn’t concentrate on what was going on and I ended up doodling Mr James E. Bagshaw, the glitter crying fraggle man himself. It’s a bare-bones drawing that I could definitely work into more but I’m happy with it as it is to be honest. I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit and add the individual bits of fringe to his jacket, just thinking about doing that makes me tired. Maybe I’ll get around to drawing the whole band at some point...

Alice in “Wonderland”

This one is from about 5(?) years ago, it’s not my typical style and was a “study” based on another artists work (basically i just had to copy this fellas work). I’ll be honest, this one has a sketchy backstory that I won’t go in to because it’s not exactly a nice one, and because of that I also won’t say who the artist is that it’s based on. Despite this, I’m still really proud of this one and I’m so sad that I never got this piece back after I got taken out the class. I’ve considered trying this style again, I’ve even joked about doing another Conchúr drawing in this style as a nod to my progression through GCSE art, eventually leading to Conchúr drawn in ink on music manuscript and stained with neon paint and dyes - it would be quite the project!

So this has been quite a lengthy post so apologies about that but life goes on. Similar to the vinyl post, I’ll probably add to this as and when I make more art. Even if no one is reading these posts, I’m enjoying making them so that’s the main thing. It’s just nice to document things and the feelings that go with them. 💕

~ Love Ginger xx 

29/11/2020

[artificialqueens]

Come Home to My Heart, Chapter 9 (Lemyanka) - Plastiquedoll

read on ao3 ✨| previous chapters

A/N: ANGST :D LACK OF COMMUNICATION BOTTLED-UP FEELINGS… This is a little re-cap from Lemon’s pov to fill some blank spaces and now ONE MORE CHAPTER TO GO! I hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading it! <3

-9-

Somewhere in New York City, two weeks ago.

Lemon was packing her things for the trip, she’d still have to pick Rita up from the airport and refuel before hitting the road. She was already low-key stressed out by the traffic reports when Jan walked into her bedroom.

“Hey, Lemony. Are you still packing?”

“I need to get those things inside my suitcase.” She pointed at the pile of clothing that was still sitting on her bed. “And I want to leave early in the morning to get the most sunlight on the way there.”

“Okay, I’ll help you closing the suitcase, to begin with,” Jan said, trying to help her afflicted roommate.

Once they were done, the blonde was still clearly uneasy about the whole road trip.

“What’s the matter?”

“I don’t know… I have this feeling in my chest… something about all this.”

“Lemz, I told you, you have to cry when you feel like or the anguish is going to blow up when you less expect it.”

“No, it’s not that –although, thanks for the reminder- it’s something else…”

Jan waited.

“I dreamt of Priyanka last night.”

“Oh…”

“It was a weird dream I can barely remember a thing, we were like ten again and we were in the local swimming pool and then we were twenty again… I don’t know.” Lemon sat on the edge of her bed.

“Maybe it’s a sign. Something in your subconscious is taking you back to her.” Jan wasn’t a psychology major but sometimes it felt like she was.

“I… why? It’s been seven years since we last met and it didn’t end well. Why now?”

“Because seven years is more than enough time to heal, I guess. Is she in Toronto?”

“Yeah…” She was never going to admit to Jan that she used her idea of befriending people in social media… many years later.

“Why don’t you drop by?”

“Are you out of your mind? To do what? I show up out of nowhere and say hey wanna hang out?” Lemon sounded exasperated. “Besides, I don’t know if I wanna see her.” She crossed her arms on her chest. “Maybe I don’t… maybe I’m okay with this being the way it is.”

“Girl, you’re not. I know it, you know it, we all know it…”

“No, I can’t go to Toronto. That’s crazy.” She shook the idea off her head. “I’ll go back home and spend some time with my family and then I’ll be back in time for the dance festival in three weeks. It’s planned perfectly.”

“Okay.” Jan, who understood Lemon’s struggles the most, was always supportive when it came to Priyanka. She just patted her back and let her be.

A half-hour later, Lemon drove to the airport to pick Rita up. That night they went out to have dinner at some fancy restaurant in Manhattan –Rita’s knowledge of New York came up exclusively from Sex and the City and Gossip Girl thus Lemon let her live the fantasy for one night. After all, she paid.

They stayed in Lemon’s apartment since Jan was spending the night at Jackie’s and the following morning they woke up before the sun rose on the horizon. Lemon picked some coffee and breakfast from the nearest café open and then they hit the road.

Rita did her best to stay awake but she kept yawning so Lemon let her sleep for a little. In the meantime, she played some music from the CDs on the glove compartment. She started with the ageless Survivor and then switched to Teenage Dream.

Lemon had her car for over a year now and she had become a much more diligent driver during that year. Before she wouldn’t even have considered driving to Canada but after getting used to the traffic in the city and the sound of ceaseless horns and people yelling, the highway was like a child’s play.

Rita woke up when the sunlight hit her in the face, right on time to change the CD again.

“Oh, can I pick the music?”

“Sure,” Lemon pointed at the glove compartment. “there you have a few if you want to look around or the radio…”

“I brought this one.” She rummaged through her purse and pulled out a Taylor Swift CD.

“Rita I didn’t have you for a Swiftie.” Lemon arched an eyebrow. “I’m not the biggest fan but… okay.”

“But she’s really good.”

Bonding trip, bonding trip, bonding trip…

Lemon didn’t know how she ended up listening to a country album but Rita seemed happy while singing some of the lyrics along. She had to admit there were some bops there. Love Story with the Shakespearian references was good, she’d give her that. She was paying attention to the road mostly.

And then it hit her.

Track nº 6 – You Belong with Me.

Lemon was sure she had heard that song on the radio before and seen the music video somewhere –most likely- but she had never truly listened to the lyrics until that moment. The tune was catchy or whatever but the chorus –and the bridge- really resonated with her.

She closed her grip over the steering wheel once the song was over.

“Rita, play it again.” She said, dead serious.

“Huh? Okay…”

The sixth time, Lemon had it. She was almost in tears screaming from the top of her lungs.

Oh, I remember you driving to my house

In the middle of the night

I’m the one who makes you laugh

When you know you’re ‘bout to cry

And I know your favorite songs

And you tell me 'bout your dreams

Think I know where you belong

Think I know it’s with me

“Again.”

“Lemon, I think it’s time to stop. This is an intervention.”

“I said, play the song again. The bridge really makes me feel something.”

“I can tell…” Rita looked concerned. “I think it’s a good moment for us to switch positions. I can drive for a little.”

She probably fucked Rita’s CD by repeating that song so many times but the echo that it left inside Lemon’s head was like an expansive wave and it reached the deepest, recondite memories of her mind.

She spotted Priyanka the minute she walked into the dining, how could she miss it? Priyanka always managed to draw attention wherever she went and she wasn’t even conscious about it most of the time.

Seeing pictures on someone else’s Facebook wall was one thing but seeing her life had taken Lemon by surprise. She should’ve suspected when she saw Kiara and Scarlett together –and they had seen her too- so it was probably just a matter of time for her to find out as well.

Lemon couldn’t take her eyes off her.

Days prior to her arrival, Lemon had just the normal amount of experiences next to her family, visiting relatives she hadn’t seen in a while, going out to have dinner with her dad, his wife, and Rita, visiting old friends and places from her childhood…

She didn’t expect to meet Priyanka there –just like when she had returned for her dad’s wedding- their paths didn’t cross that occasion and this time was supposed to be the same except it wasn’t. Priyanka was in town and she was there, at the same place at the same moment as Lemon, something she only had dreamt about. Literally.

She had stopped listening to what Boa was saying and in consequence, spilled some orange juice on the denim jacket she had over her dress.

“Oh, shit!” She rushed to grab a napkin.

The girls on the table tried to help her, she removed the clothing item and left it on the table assuring it would dry but excused herself to go to the bathroom for a moment.

Lemon needed to think straight.

Well, no, not that… scratch it.

Lemon needed to think straight clearly.

She could walk directly to their table and just say «hi!» short, sweet, concise… or something like «I just came to say hello» that would give the right idea of her being friendly… right?

She pulled out her phone and called Jan, it was an emergency call.

“Jan… pick up… pick up…”

“Hello?”

“Oh my God, Jan… this is a disaster and I’m gonna die.”

“What? Wait… what happened? Are you okay?”

“Priyanka is here.”

Long pause on the phone.

“Oh, I see…”

“And I’m freaking out because I don’t know what to say or how to act in front of her anymore… and now I’m hiding in a bathroom booth like a vile fifteen-year-old.”

“Lemon, breathe… you need to calm down.”

“No shit… I don’t know if I can do this… what if I fuck it up again?”

“Just say «hi», nothing bad can come from a hi.”

“That was my first choice, thank you… I think I will… wish me luck.”

“Fingers crossed!”

She hung up. At that moment, someone else got inside the bathroom and got in the contiguous booth but Lemon was too immersed in her own thoughts to notice. She walked out, washed her hands, and made sure her hair was looking fine.

Just say «hi». She was going to walk to that table and say hi… It couldn’t go wrong.

Except it did.

Priyanka wasn’t at the table, why wasn’t she at the table? Lemon had just seen her. How was possible that when she finally brought herself to take the first step she wasn’t there? Was she hallucinating? You know what? That was so typical Priyanka never staying quiet for so long in a place and…

Her thoughts started bubbling while she tried to maintain a polite conversation with the other girls. There was one particularly pretty she hadn’t seen around before named Denali, would she be close to Priyanka too? Lemon felt a pang of jealously.

And then, she appeared.

Everyone at the table went silent and when she turned around, there she was.

Taller than Lemon could remember, absolutely gorgeous like a goddess with her long hair and pretty features, it had been a while but there she was, just like she remembered her.

Lemon attempted to smile but it became awkward. She was so nervous she couldn’t say anything…

“Well, that’s my cue to leave.” She smiled at the people sitting at the table. “It’s nice to see you, guys. I hope we can hang out sometime.” She was about to run away because even when she thought she could do it, she couldn’t.

“Hello to you too.” Those were Priyanka’s first words in all that time.

And then, the rage took over.

Was it so difficult to call her back?

Seven years!

“Oh, so you can speak now…”

It went downhill horribly after that.

Lemon stormed out of the dining, walked a little trying not to show her true feelings, and finally laid against a wall to recover from what had just happened. She let the air out of her lungs and then remembered her bag, her jacket, and her car keys were still inside. Luckily enough, she had brought her phone and rushed to text Rita to get her things.

Her hands were still shaking and if she looked through a window she’d spot her again. There was nothing else that Lemon wanted to do but she also felt the need of kicking and screaming, to do something with all those feelings that she had piled up in her heart.

She needed to clear her mind and, in order to do that, she needed to dance, put her body in motion somehow.

It was time to go out.

Lemon felt the most comfortable dancing and the dancefloor was like a second home for her. There she didn’t need to think much, just feel the rhythm and let her body do the rest.

Naturally, she felt deeply aggrieved when Priyanka showed up to disrupt her sacred space.

Well, it wasn’t that sacred, it was a nightclub or whatever.

Yet, how dared she?

How dared she showing up like that?

How dared she looking that beautiful with that top that revealed her back?

Lemon gulped when no one was watching.

She was with that pretty girl from the other day, Denali.

Wait, what if…?

Priyanka had all the right to date someone if she wanted to and who wouldn’t date Priyanka? She was amazing, funny, so beautiful… Maybe there was a real chance that she was dating that girl –that very attractive girl- and good for them… it was a good thing, right?

Fuck it.

Lemon stole Priyanka’s drink, she needed something strong to numb her senses and erase those thoughts.

The shot gave Lemon a dosage of renewed confidence, she could feel physically her inhibitions abandoning her body. She smirked at Priyanka and stared directly into her brown eyes before heading to the dancefloor.

She lost herself among the crowd, closed her eyes, and let the alcohol take over, making her feel lighter. She danced and danced for the longest time as if she had a pair of red shoes on, going with the flow was something she mastered and she proved it.

She didn’t know how long it had been but when she opened her eyes, she spotted Priyanka on the bar again. A sense of heat ran through her body before the idea she was being seen. Her moves became more calculated, she wanted to put a show for real this time but make it effortlessly like she had no clue like she wasn’t aware of the girl’s presence so close yet so far.

She followed Jennifer Lopez’ instructions in the lyrics of On The Floor.

Dance the night away, live your life and stay young on the floor.

She didn’t care if she was sweaty afterward or how sore her feet were going to be the next morning, she had achieved her goal.

And now she was thirsty which led to the bar and to…

“Ew, cinnamon.” Only Priyanka could like something like the taste of fireball.

Lemon recognized the guy that tried to grope her on the dance floor and of course, she told him to fuck off even when it sounded harsh for Priyanka.

And from moment to another –things were happening too fast- she was drinking tequila with her former best friend from kindergarten.

Lemon stared at Priyanka, her makeup was perfectly done and it looked like an ad for the rest of the night regardless of how much she danced. Maybe she was being biased since Priyanka hadn’t ever looked bad in her eyes.

“That girl… Denali…” Lemon tested the waters at the mention of her name. “is she… close to you?”

She had to know… if she was dating someone…

“I adore her, yeah.”

“Is she… your girlfriend?”

But Priyanka was a little shit who wasn’t going to give her a straight answer to one simple question. Instead, she asked the blonde something else.

“Would you care?”

Yes, she would.

But instead of saying that, her first instinct was to storm out and basically run away as she had done before. She was being a coward, yes, but she couldn’t do it, she couldn’t answer that question, not at that moment, when she wasn’t careful enough with her words.

There was a big chunk of that night that was dedicated strictly to dancing, if her shoes weren’t completely worn out by the end of the night what was the point? But she kept an eye on one girl here and there until she lost it and she was anywhere to be seen.

Lemon didn’t want to admit that she looked around like a lost puppy but that was exactly what she did –she was drunk, okay?- and lonely.

She could only be outside or, in the worst scenario, she had gone home already.

Fortunately, Priyanka was smoking outside.

Smoking?

“There you are.” She said, eloquently to her judgment.

Priyanka shrugged. “Here I am.

There she was, looking all perfect and beautiful and…

If Lemon could only take some courage and put it into words…

Instead, she just pointed the height difference between them.

After that, it became blurry, she probably babbled a little –although she did remember the sound of Priyanka’s laugh and being called a Polly Pocket the next morning- next thing she knew she was on a taxi, texting Rita to open the door so her dad wouldn’t hear her.

And the following morning…

Jeez, she had one infernal headache. The room was spinning and not even when she laid down and closed her eyes the movement stopped. Rita had contemplated poking her with a stick but she had read somewhere that it wasn’t recommended to bother a wild animal on their sleep and it applied to drunk Lemon as well.

Finally, she walked in, it smelled like a liquor store in there and the environment was probably flammable.

“Lemon…” Rita whispered. “I’m going to the mall and your dad and my mom are having lunch with some friends. Are you going to be okay?”

“Mmmh…” She was breathing at least.

“Okay, remember they’re cooking dinner tonight.”

“Mkay…” She mumbled.

“Love you, bye.” She blew a kiss in the air and closed the door.

Lemon woke up what felt like hours later, she forced herself to take a bath. There wasn’t a damn aspirin to be seen in that house and she had already drunk more water than her bladder could handle. It wasn’t the best of the starts but at least she could walk.

When she stopped feeling dizzy, she grabbed her keys and drove to the supermarket because there weren’t Froot Loops either and her morning –morning being a loose term since it was almost noon- was already bad enough.

Not to mention that some idiot was playing around with a shopping cart inside of the supermarket and almost destroyed the cereal aisle.

“Jesus Christ you’re going to kill someone with that.” She clutched her imaginary pearls.

Wait a minute, she knew that idiot.

“Fancy meeting you here.” Priyanka mumbled.

Not now, not with that cranky mood, not with a killing headache, not when she only wanted a bowl of cereal and crawl back to bed.

Of course she was going to tell her to fuck off.

But then…Priyanka picked the cookie cereal and Lemon’s stone heart melt right in the spot. For years, whenever she saw chocolate chip cookies in the aisles of the supermarkets, in cafés, or with freaking girl scouts, she couldn’t help but think about that little kindergarten girl with big brown eyes and crumbs over her face.

And years later, she was in front of her…

Some things might have changed but they felt oddly familiar at that moment.

Priyanka not only had terrible taste in drinks, but it also applied to cars too… because that thing was setting on fire in no time.

Lemon had just walked out of the supermarket, she crossed the street, put her things into the trunk and bought some aspirins but when she was about to leave, she saw Priyanka sitting at the curb under her personal dark cloud… and another dark cloud behind her.

She should’ve left her there, it wasn’t any of her business but… she looked truly devastated.

“Looks like you could use a ride.” Priyanka glared at her.

“Not now.” She blurted out. “I don’t have time for your snarky comments so please refrain from saying anything you’d think is clever.”

Lemon lifted her sunglasses. “I’m not trying to get on your nerves; I’m legit offering you a ride.” Priyanka didn’t seem convinced. “Think for a moment, your groceries are going to go bad with the heat and no air conditioner.”

C’mon Priyanka, think for a moment…

“The ice cream bars…” She was on the verge of tears. “Fine. Yes, I need a ride, would you be so nice and help me out?”

“Come with me, my car is around the corner in front of the drugstore.”

“Buying some aspirins?”

“Cut the slack I’m trying to do a good deed here.”

“For a change.”

She was expecting a comment from the brunette about the fact that she had a yellow car and she did it as soon as they got into the car. What Lemon didn’t expect was forgetting which street led to Priyanka’s house. Maybe back in the day, she didn’t pay much attention but she was sure something had been changed, she remembered the way like the back of her hand… or maybe she didn’t.

It was nice of Priyanka to ask about her family. Lemon’s mother always asked at loud if she had news of the girl to which the blonde replied grumbling that they weren’t friends anymore. She secretly hoped her father would tell her if he had seen her in the supermarket or the street but since she moved to Toronto those meetings became rare… that was part of why she put Jan’s plan into motion.

Because she always missed her.

Then, Priyanka asked about Rihanna… how dared she questioning her impeccable music taste?

Obviously, she liked Rihanna. What kind of stupid question was that?

“Hey, this is the album you gave me before moving to New York, remember?”

“I do… that’s actually the copy I used to have in my room… the one we listened to on my radio.”

Lemon’s hands closed their grip over the steering wheel. That album was one of her most treasured possessions, she had shed giant tears the day it stopped working when the stereo of the car kept spitting the CD no matter how many times she tried it. The box had a permanent space inside the glove compartment.

Having Priyanka sitting next to her, holding it in her hands felt surreal for a moment as if seven years had never passed.

“Why did you keep it?”

Lemon thought about that question. Sometimes simple objects like that were the only link to the past and having them around was like owning a time-traveling machine that took her directly to the memories, that took her back to Priyanka and to that bond that once felt unbreakable.

Instead, she mumbled something about «sentimental value» which was the most generic thing to say.

Now, going back to her house did feel like they were using a time machine. It was comforting to know that some things were still the same there but still, the passage of time was perceptible through photos or little details that Lemon remembered. There were more children in the family pictures and it hit her that Priyanka’s mother was now a grandmother and that Priyanka was now an aunt. How crazy was that?

Back in the day, she couldn’t even imagine her friend taking care of a plant much less a living human being, and still, the photos told her otherwise.

Thank goodness the aspirins were starting to work but even though, that headache wasn’t going to stop her from fighting for that car that her friend –for some reason- loved so much. That mechanic was going to have a piece of her mind, she didn’t care if the car was actually set on fire with flames coming out of the engine, he had to tell Priyanka there was a possible solution to that problem.

All was not lost.

That was what he had said and a phrase that lingered in the air long after. It even made Lemon feel hopeful about the car’s state and considering she had called it a jalopy multiple times, it was something.

“Thank you, Lemon… for helping me so much today. You didn’t have to but still, you did.”

Priyanka’s words made her heart swell.

She started the engine. “You’ve done the same for me no questions asked.”

She knew Priyanka would have.

“Are you feeling better after the aspirins?”

“Yeah… I’m never drinking again I swear…”

“That’s a lie.”

“It is…”

“Do you even remember what you said? Last night?”

The question caught Lemon by surprise. She was trying to rack her brains to find that missing information, one of the endless possibilities of stupid things she might have said while being drunk… chances were…

“What did I say?” She was about to have an attack of some kind.

Priyanka started laughing.

Bitch.

“Priyanka, what did I say?”

Her hands were shaking but she held the steering wheel tighter.

“You called me Sprinky and kept asking if Denali is my girlfriend.”

Lemon breathed again. “Thank God… it was just that…”

Her soul had returned to her body.

“I remember that part, you never answered the question anyway.” She said. It seemed appropriate to bring the question back so she could have a clear answer.

Priyanka sighed. “Denali is my friend. Just that… we’re friends. Are you happy now?”

…sort of…

She was about thirty percent happier… yeah… was it something bad?

And then the conversation went somewhere Lemon knew they would eventually talk about.

“So you know… you know I like girls…”

Lemon could feel the sense of fear behind her words, the what if I’m not accepted? After pronouncing that short sentence, after baring her soul.

Lemon just nodded.

“And are you okay with that?”

She looked at Priyanka. “Why wouldn’t I? Of course I’m okay with that…”

Lemon wanted to scream from the top of her lungs… how could she even imagine that she wouldn’t be okay with it? When she…

“Don’t tell me that on top of you thinking that I dislike Rihanna you also consider myself to be homophobic or an ignorant asshole… that being the same thing.” She spat.

Then, she told Priyanka about Jan and Jackie and she suddenly found herself missing them, wishing her friends from New York could also be there in her hometown, she wanted them to meet Priyanka and her high school friends… having her two worlds collide.

After dropping Priyanka back and seeing her mother again, Lemon left with a sense of warmness over her body. She had spent an entire afternoon with her childhood best friend and they were finally at a point where they felt comfortable with each other to share new things and anecdotes alike like normal friends.

Friends.

A friendship with Priyanka was something she had never expected from that trip back home.

Later that week, Lemon got a text message from Boa asking if she was going to the lake thing she was organizing. Her phone buzzed a second later she read the first message.

«I ran into Scarlett and Priyanka and they’re in.»

Lemon bit her inner cheek. She didn’t care, why she’d care?

Right… they were cool now… they were somehow friends again…

But going into nature wasn’t something she was particularly fond of. She still had a scar from that time her dad had insisted that hiking was a good father-daughter activity. Why couldn’t they plan something like a shopping day? Inside of the mall, with functioning air conditioning… wonders of the modernity like electricity?

“Rita, do you want to spend the day in a lake?” She asked the other girl who was flipping through a book’s pages while sitting on the sofa.

“Sure, sounds interesting.” She said without looking away from the book.

“Ugh. You too?” She slumped on the sofa.

She sighed loudly.

“What’s the matter?” Rita asked, accustomed to her behavior and unbothered by it.

“I don’t know… I’m don’t want to go to a lake but…”

She wanted to see Priyanka.

“Don’t go then.”

“No! That’s not the solution.” She grumbled. “Ah, I don’t know…”

Rita closed her book. “What would cheer you up? Pizza? A movie? What’s that movie you’re always talking about?”

“Mean Girls.”

“The other one.”

“Clueless.”

“One that I haven’t watched before.”

“Oh, you mean Drop Dead Gorgeous?”

“That one… why don’t you go get the DVD or something and we’ll watch it tonight.”

Lemon was about to protest but she just nodded. “Okay… I’ll drop by the video club.”

“And I’ll order the pizza.”

“Can you also order mozzarella sticks?”

“Sure.”

“Okay.” Lemon got up and walked toward the garage. The door close behind her.

“Now I can finish this book.”

She knew that the greatest film genre a.k.a. the chick flick movie genre was in the same aisle and that the DVD she was looking for was there, somewhere. It was an empty DVD box but she’d take it to the cashier and show her dad’s membership card or so to pay for it.

Lemon had the DVD on her hands when a little kid almost ran over her.

“Wow! Careful there.”

She looked at the little girl in front of her and she had a déjà vu. By a general rule, Lemon didn’t like children –from the distance they were alright but upfront…- she didn’t know what to do with them. However, this kid immediately got her soft side because she reminded her of someone close to her heart.

The little girl with big brown eyes stared at her for a moment. Lemon was paralyzed thinking she was going to cry or something but to her surprise, she just gave her a compliment.

“You’re very pretty.” She said with her adorable voice.

If there was something she liked, it was getting complimented.

“Aw, thank you…you’re very pretty too.”

Wait, was she on her own? Maybe she didn’t find her parents.

Lemon kneeled to get closer to her level. “Are you lost?”

She shook her head.

“What’s your name?” She tried again.

“I’m Melanie.”

“Nice to meet you, Melanie. I’m Lemon, like the fruit.”

“Nice to meet you… Miss Lemon.”

She was going to melt right there.

“Did you come here with your mom? With your dad?”

She shook her head again. “With my auntie.”

“Ah, I see… What do you say if we look for your auntie?”

“She’s right there.” She pointed at someone behind Lemon.

Lemon turned around and met the brunette’s eyes.

Her heart skipped a beat.

“Oh. It’s you, auntie… I should’ve guessed.”

“The resemblance is uncanny, isn’t it?” Priyanka smiled proudly.

It was the girl she had seen in the pictures, back at her house the other day and now, seeing them next to each other, she couldn’t deny they looked alike.

Wait for a second, her name was Melanie?

“You really convinced your brother to name his daughter like two-fifths of the Spice Girls, didn’t you?”

Priyanka panicked. She rushed and covered her niece’s ears. “Shhhh… He doesn’t know that yet. It took me seven of the nine months of my sister-in-law’s pregnancy to plant the idea… neither Ginger nor Emma were working, so it was down to Melanie or Victoria.”

Of course…

Then Priyanka sent her niece to get a movie and they exchanged some commentaries about the movie Lemon was about to rent. It surprised her when the brunette asked about the lake activity.

“So… are you going to the lake thing Boa’s planning?”

Lemon shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not that into nature and being eaten by bugs…”

Sounded lovely when she put it like that.

“Oh, so she’s a city girl now.”

“Listen, I spent a good ten years of my life going camping with my dad and hating every second of it. I thought it was finally over when I moved.”

“The girls and I are going… and I’m sure we’re taking some type of booze with us, snacks, a campfire… It will be fun.”

Could it be that…? This was her chance to know.

Lemon tilted her head. “I didn’t know you wanted me to go.” She knew exactly what she was doing.

“Boa said the more the merrier… plus my car is still at the workshop and Scarlett might have screwed up her relationship with the one person that has a car among us.”

“So you need a ride… that’s it?”

Disappointing… Although, she was used to.

“Yeah… and it’ll be fun being all together again.”

“Sure… okay. I’ll tell Rita and we’ll be there.”

“Really?”

Lemon nodded.

Hey, maybe she was right and it would be fun… kind of.

At that moment, Priyanka’s niece returned with a DVD of Brave in her hand.

“Are you dating my auntie Pri?” She asked unscrupulous and unfiltered like any six-year-old.

Lemon almost had a heart attack. She just stared and then looked at Priyanka.

The brunette’s mouth dropped to the floor.

“Mel! You can’t ask people… That’s not… You don’t get to…”

“But daddy said that you like girls and that if you were going to date someone it would be a girl… and she’s a girl.”

Lemon covered her mouth with her hand, she was blushing underneath.

“Mel just because I’m talking to a girl it doesn’t mean that I’m dating her.”

“But she’s pretty… she’s prettier than you.”

“Oh, I like her.” Lemon giggled.

“Hey! You little brat, who’s the one renting movies with you.”

“Why aren’t you dating her, auntie Pri?” Priyanka covered the girl’s mouth.

Lemon didn’t say a word but she’d like to know the answer to that question as well.

“Okay, I think it’s time to go home. Brave, huh? Good choice.” She looked at Lemon. “See you on Thursday…?”

The blonde smiled. “I’ll pick you up.”

“Okay, great.”

“Goodbye, Priyanka. Bye, Mel.” She waved at them.

She had to pay for her movie too but she waited until they left the store to do it. Then she drove back home and informed Rita they were going on a little camping day or whatever.

“Make sure you pack the bug repellent I gotta text Boa.”

On Thursday morning, Lemon drove to Tynomi’s house because she had to pick a cooler. She didn’t know that was the base of operations, almost everyone was already there and they were getting the cars and supplies ready.

“Oh, hey Lemon.”

It was Denali, Priyanka’s friend. Emphasis on the word friend.

“Hi! How are you?” She hugged the girl who seemed a bit startled by it.

“Good to see you again…”

“Yeah.” She smiled at her.

“Actually, good thing I bumped into you. Scarlett wanted me to tell you that Juice and she are going to pick up Priyanka from her house on their way here.”

“I beg your pardon?” She blinked twice. “I’m picking Priyanka, I already told her.”

Denali raised her hands in the air. “I’m just passing on the message.”

Lemon grabbed her phone from her back pocket and marked Scarlett’s number.

“Hello? What’s up?”

“I’m picking up Priyanka. I spoke with her the other day and we agreed on that since her car is fucked and your relationship is fucked.”

“Was… Okay? Juice and I made up. There were roses and everything.”

“That’s adorable, congratulations to the happy couple.” The sarcasm behind her words was strong.

“Priyanka’s house is on the way, we can drive her to the lake… unless…”

Oh, God.

“Is there a reason why you’d want to drive her?”

“No… There isn’t any reason besides I already told her I was going to pick her up. Why is it so difficult to understand? I don’t like my plans to be changed.”

Scarlett dared to laugh.

“I called her earlier so you don’t have to worry about that. I insist though if you had a valid reason to be her driver today I’d…”

“Fuck off. Okay, yeah… I want to spend some extra time with her.” She murmured. Denali raised an eyebrow.

“You could have started there. It wasn’t that difficult, was it?”

“Shut up.”

“Well, Juice and I are driving straight to Tynomi’s. Can you pick Priyanka up then?”

“Yeah… I guess I can.”

“You’re fucking terrible.”

“Wait, since you have an empty space in your car, can you take Rita with you?”

“Oh, so you want some alone time…”

“C’mon.”

“I mean, I haven’t spoken a lot with her but if she’s okay with it…”

“She’s French Canadian, Kiara too, they’ll get along.”

“So you’re playing the language card now.”

“Sure, whatever. Can you?” Lemon rolled her eyes even when she couldn’t see it.

“We’ll take good care of her. Good luck with your little da-”

Lemon hung up before she could finish that sentence.

Denali stared at her, a bit terrified.

“All set.” She had a mischievous smile on her face.

Lemon rolled down her window. “Get in loser, we’re going to a lake… for some reason.”

Seeing Priyanka’s surprise was more than anything she ever wanted. She didn’t look upset at all and that was a relief. Lemon wasn’t going to tell her about all the arrangements she had to do so they could spend some time alone –and she hoped that for their own welfare that Scarlett or the other girls didn’t mention it either.

They didn’t have much time together already with their imminent separation. Lemon would have to go back to New York in less than a week and Priyanka was probably heading toward Toronto as well. They had lost too much already with their silly banters and those minutes were precious on her eyes.

Except, they got lost. It wasn’t on purpose.

And even when she didn’t show it, Lemon started feeling the panic slowly crawling when after their third turn when the stupid lake was nowhere to be seen. It was humiliating that they had to stop and ask for indications but thankfully they got there without any incident.

She was sure Priyanka was going to make fun of her for getting them in trouble and arriving late –which she did- but as soon as they met the others, she did what she did best, shaking Lemon’s little bitter heart.

“Yeah, can you believe I told her the wrong entry on the highway? Lemon almost killed me we were spinning around for like fifteen minutes, right?” She looked at her and winked.

Lemon didn’t know what to do next, her brain was malfunctioning.

“Ah, yeah…” She babbled as she felt her cheeks heating up. “But we’re here… so… it doesn’t matter.”

“Priyanka you dumbass, we’ve come this way before.” Scarlett nagged her.

“Oh, shut up… I forgot.” She picked her backpack and threw it over her shoulder. Lemon hadn’t moved. “Hey, let’s go. We have all day ahead.”

She had to do something, react somehow but she was paralyzed. Priyanka was right, they had all day ahead but she wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to handle it much longer.

“I think we’ve been set up.” Priyanka said when they were both at the boat.

Lemon should’ve guessed it. The way they moved suspiciously and how they had sent Tynomi to casually ask her if she had ever been in a boat before… it was all part of a greater plan to get them in the middle of the lake alone. Suddenly the lake wasn’t all that boring anymore.

For Lemon, that was the moment and the place to talk about what had happened between them, especially since Priyanka had been so open about that horrible story of her first kiss. To think that Lemon once had been mad about the fact she didn’t tell her about it, now she understood, it was bad enough to listen to it, she couldn’t imagine how she felt back in the day and reliving it wasn’t easy either.

They talked for what felt like hours and the conversation flowed avidly once they spoke about the elephant in the room but still, something was missing.

And then she had to put the stupid glasses on. For ages, she had hated being called names because of them and, when she finally convinced her mother to get contact lenses, it was a victory. Now, she didn’t want to go back to it nor Priyanka to see her like that… as if she was a kid again.

“Don’t make fun of me.” She mumbled. “I never wear these in public…”

It was a little plea but she meant it.

“Lemon, I’ve known you for ages I do remember how you look like with glasses on.”

Priyanka took the glasses and opened the temples before placing them gently on her face. She adjusted the nose pads above her nose and removed some hairs out of her face.

“There,” She looked proud of her work. “See, nothing less than stunning.”

When the brunette put the glasses on her face, she knew it.

Priyanka was going to kiss her.

She could feel it on her bones, she could feel it deep inside, her heart couldn’t stop beating fast.

She was going to kiss her, there was no doubt.

But she didn’t… for some reason, in the last second she backed out. Lemon didn’t know why but she could almost swear for her life Priyanka was going to kiss her. She regretted not shortening the distance just a couple of centimeters when she realized, it was too late.

However, now that Lemon had that information… she could take action.

She washed her hands in the bathroom when they were back and looked at the reflection in the mirror. She looked good, just a couple locks out of place and her cheeks a bit red due to the sun but she had Priyanka’s jacket on and she knew what her next step was going to be.

If Priyanka didn’t kiss her first, she was going to kiss Priyanka.

First, she’d take her somewhere they could be alone, -maybe with some silly excuse she’d invent on her way back to the campfire- she’d grab her hand and pull her even if she protested –because she was going to-, there was a cozy spot with a couple of tree trunks cut where they could sit, fireflies were going to start flying around and the buzz of the other people would become background noise. Lemon would pick a fight with her about the first thing that’d come to her mind and when Priyanka was too into it to even notice, she was going to lean in and kiss her to shut her mouth.

It was the kiss she had postponed for so long –years- because above of all, Lemon was deeply, stupidly, madly in love with her best friend since she could remember. It had taken a lot of time to realize that those feelings she had inside were that -love- but now she was confident it was mutual.

That was until…

“I’m being serious right now.” She cleared her throat. “Lemon and I are friends… that’s it. Don’t try to push it further because it’s not going to happen.”

The knot grew on her throat, her eyes were getting watery to the point she couldn’t see clearly; her heart was breaking somewhere inside her and the physical pain almost got her on her knees.

It’s not going to happen.

What a fool… what a stupid, fucking fool she was…

Priyanka didn’t think of her like that and she and her childish crush were nothing more than that, one-sided feelings. Priyanka and she were friends and they were never going to be more than friends. For a moment she had believed it but it was too good to be true.

She wiped away her tears, took a deep breath, and put the mask on.

“Hey, do you mind going back with the girls? I was talking to Rita and she’s kind of tired so I’m going home with her.” She hadn’t spoken to Rita and she hated she’d have to ruin the fun for her but she couldn’t be there any longer and that was the excuse that became handy.

“Oh, sure. No problem. Is she alright?”

“Yeah, just tired and maybe sunburn. I don’t want to drive when it’s too late either.” Her voice didn’t break as she lied.

“Alright. Are you still coming to dinner with my family? My mom said she’ll be waiting for you.”

Right. She had promised her mother she was visiting them…

“Saturday, right? I’ll be there.” She smiled. “I’m really glad we got to talk today, Pri.”

“Me too.”

She hugged her Lemon before she left.

Lemon whispered into Rita’s ear she wasn’t feeling alright and with that, the two girls got into the yellow car. They didn’t even get out of the park when Lemon stopped the car. Her knuckles turned white from holding the steering wheel too tight.

“Hey…” Rita reached for her. “Are you okay?”

She shook her head.

“Okay, let me drive.”

They exchanged seats without saying a word.

“Would you like me to play some music? I can put some CD on…”

“Just put whatever you want, it’ll be fine.” She sobbed.

Rita put the Taylor Swift album on because it was the first thing that she could find in the glove compartment. Lemon wasn’t in the mood for any kind of music really, but at least that would fill the awkward silence. She didn’t want to talk with Rita, she didn’t want to talk at all… she just wanted to get home as soon as possible.

Not her dad’s house, her home back in New York with her friends…

She was too far away.

When track nº 6 started playing, she skipped it without hesitation. She couldn’t listen to those lyrics without going back to her best friend as if she was going to wake up one day and realize… the idea was absurd. How could she ever believe that?

White Horse or Teardrops on my Guitar seemed more fitting.

Fearless, huh? What a joke. She wasn’t fearless, she was a coward who had waited too long.

She didn’t bawl until she touched the mattress of the bed, she didn’t shed a tear until her face made contact with the pillow and she stifled a cry on it. She couldn’t do it, she couldn’t pretend everything was fine for any longer.

The tears felt too heavy to be held so she cried and cried until her eyes were dried out.

She didn’t notice she was still wearing Priyanka’s jacket until she tried to wipe the tears off her face with the sleeve. It smelled like her and it kept her warm like a hug. She wrapped herself with the jacket and closed her eyes until she fell asleep.

[emilyjunk]

bemily hunger games au pt 27

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6) (part 7) (part 8)(part 9) (part 10) (part 11) (part 11.5) (part 12) (part 13) (part 14) (part 15) (part 16) (part 17) (part 18) (part 19) (part 20) (part 21) (part 22) (part 23) (part 24) (part 25) (part 26) (moodboards) (playlists) (read it on ao3)

the days after the visit from beca’s capitol entourage, she’s restless and anxious. the momentary post-Games absence she’d had from that world had managed to numb some of the awfulness (not that she’d forgotten any of it), but now those feelings are bubbling back up in her, present and hungry

days are the worst. at night she dreams -- mostly bad -- but at least she’s asleep, not conscious of her thoughts. during the days, though, she has nothing to occupy her mind or her hands

emily’s at school, her dad at the mill. it’s just beca and that house, that too big, too extravagant house, her thoughts filling up every inch inside it until she feels crushed under their weight

sometimes she walks, just to have space to breathe, but there are always people, and her victory is still fresh on their minds. they always stare as she passes and sometimes they speak to her as she makes her way from shop to shop in the square, looking for anything emily’s family or her dad might need to get them through the winter. she’s got too much money and too many thoughts -- she can’t get rid of any of it

mainly she spends the day waiting for emily to get back from school. emily fills up that house with words and life and distractions. welcome, beautiful distractions, like her face, her laugh, her stories and her hands, chopping vegetables beca’d bought while she speaks, steady and confident from the many years spent looking after her sisters

she’s not just a distraction, though, beca thinks sometimes as she zones out in front of the tv, waiting, waiting. in the capitol, emily would be a tasty distraction to any person who can appreciate a pretty face

no. emily’s more than that to beca. she just doesn’t know how much more. emily is whatever she meant when she’d murmured who says i’m pretending against beca’s cheek. 

she’s a faulty radio broadcast stuck on repeat when beca wants to avoid thinking of other things. she’s a reprieve, a confusing but welcome dream. emily is an inhalation, taken deeply into the lungs, a reason to come home again

who says i’m pretending

she’s a warm presence in the night, she’s crisp winter air on the skin, she’s all limbs and soft eyes and inviting lips, a pretty pout, an easy smile, a magnetic mouth drawing beca’s gaze, constant yearning and uncertainty and wanting, wanting, wanting

who says i’m prete--

a knock on the door halts this incessant train of thought. but emily had to stop at her mom’s house after school and it’s too early for her to be back and, beca frowns, she wouldn’t knock anyway. not anymore

she opens the door warily, praying it’s not one of those other victors, what’s-his-face from three houses down wanting to see if she’s got any booze again

“hey,” chloe’s smile is bright, brighter than the autumn sun sinking lower in the sky behind her

“oh,” beca mouths, surprised and, without reason, suddenly on guard. she clears her throat. “uh, hey.”

chloe’s smile flickers, just for a moment, but then it’s back. “can i come in for a second?”

beca nods numbly, holding the door open for chloe to pass. she leads chloe to the kitchen, offering her some water. they awkwardly settle at the kitchen table, staring at each other

“so...” beca says without preamble. “what are you doing here?”

“what,” chloe chuckles, but it’s fake and beca hates it. “i can’t visit my best friend just because?”

beca shrugs

“right,” chloe clears her throat. “no you’re right. i’m here to invite you out actually. there’s a bonfire tonight before curfew. bunch of the old crew is gonna be there and i thought, i dunno, you might wanna come.”

“oh”

“it’s gonna be small, just you know, like stacie and ash and jess and aubrey, and oh, hey! did you know aubrey is friends with emily? you should bring her along”

beca hesitates. “oh,” she says again, if only because she doesn’t know what else to say

chloe seems to realize she hasn’t sold beca on the idea and she leans forward, reaching for beca’s hand across the table. beca flinches, her hand twitching... but after a beat she relaxes, her fingers stilling between chloe’s

“please?” chloe says. “i miss you. and i think it will be really good for you to start getting back to normal”

beca frowns. “back to normal?” a bitter laugh escapes her throat “dude, i don’t think that’s gonna happen”

“of course it is,” chloe says plainly. “you just need to get out and stop moping around here thinking about it. what you went through was unimaginable and i can’t even begin to understand. but holing up by yourself and reliving it 24/7 isn’t gonna help you move past it beca”

beca twists her mouth. “move past it?”

chloe shoots her a small smile, still not getting it. “yeah.”

it’s out of becas mouth before she can help it “maybe i don’t wanna move past it”

chloe’s eyes widen and she leans back slightly. “what? beca”

“you dont get it,” it’s taking all of becas willpower not to shout. “i killed three people. even more died because of me. i can’t just move the fuck past that.”

“no,” chloe backtracks. “of course not. i just meant --”

“you meant that im not the same as i was and you want me to be because you cant deal with the fact that things are different.”

chloe huffs. “that’s not fair. and fine, maybe i don’t want them to be different! is it so bad that i miss you?”

“no but you dont just get to decide how things should be. how i should be!” beca’s vaguely aware of the sound of the front door opening and closing, emily’s shuffling footsteps in the hall. she takes a deep breath, knowing emily will call for her... but it never comes

she hears emily move down the hall, into the family room, quiet and cautious, and wonders if emily heard any of their conversation.

she pulls her hand from chloe’s and chloe leans back in her chair, face pinched.

“listen,” chloe murmurs, “i’m sorry if i don’t understand, but i just want to help. and i think doing stuff that will make you feel a little normal again might.”

beca scoffs. “nothing is going to make me feel normal again, okay? nothing is ever going to be how it was.”

chloe crosses her arms. “so that’s it then? you’re just going to hang around day after day waiting for emily to come home. you’re not going to have a life? friends?”

beca grunts. “that’s not what im saying.”

“it sure feels like that.” chloe hesitates, then-- “she doesn’t even know you.”

“maybe that’s the point. and sorry but neither do you anymore.” 

“fine,” chloe snaps, standing and putting on her jacket. “but i’m not just gonna stand aside and let you fester. she’s not the only one who cares about you.”

beca opens her mouth to respond, but a sudden noise slips into the kitchen, and the unexpectedness of it catches her off-guard.

“i..” she starts but can’t finish, distracted by the noise. music, she realizes. piano. 

she exhales, trying to focus but her attention is elsewhere. “look i appreciate what you’re doing,” she says to chloe, managing to look at her again. “but i’m not there right now and i dont know when i will be”

chloe looks at her for a long moment, and beca tries to dissect the emotions flitting across her face, but that’s when the music stutters, a botched chord, and beca’s attention dips again, her head turning toward the sound. 

is emily playing that? 

“fine,” chloe says and beca’s gaze flicks back as chloe starts to walk toward the front door. she follows, half of her attention on chloe and half in the other room. “but the offer is still open. and you’re welcome to bring emily.” she stops at the door, fingers on the handle, turning to look at beca. “i like her, despite everything.”

“despite everything?”

chloe’s face is unreadable, something beca suddenly realizes has never happened before. chloe has always been an open book. 

her eyes look over beca’s shoulder, toward the other room, before settling back on beca. “i just thought--” she frowns, cutting off, then sighs and opens the door. a gust of autumn wind blows into the entrance hall and beca shivers as chloe steps outside. “the games,” chloe says, eyes dark as they appraise beca from the front step. “us. everything that’s happened. I just hope she’s worth it all.”

she doesn’t give beca a chance to respond. just pulls her coat tighter around her and heads off down the front steps, turning into the road.

beca watches her go, mouth hanging open, until she’s nothing but a shadowy speck against the horizon

[yebingo]

☛ ( jeon heejin, cis woman ) have you seen KIM YEBIN ? i heard SHE is a WANNABE GUITARIST IN A BAND & TATTOO ARTIST at SKIN DEEP. they’re 22 years old and they’ve been living in san verto for TEN YEARS. they tend to be LOYAL & MOTIVATED, but rumor has it they can also be IMPULSIVE & VAGUE. [ bear, 26, gmt+1, she/her ]

✁ 。。。basics.

name: kim yebin

nickname: ??? give her one

nationality: korean

age: 22

zodiac sign: leo

dob: 10.08

location: san verto

pob: daegu, south korea

occupation: tattoo artist at skin deep

secondary occupation: guitarist for musical project with @alexinwcnderland​

orientation: homoromantic

family: only child, parents, grandparents.

character label: the halcyeon ( carefree, positive )

appearance: baggy clothes, simple silver jewelry, multiple small tattoos all over her body. ( photoset coming soon )

✁ 。。。background.

yebin was born in daegu, south korea. she barely remembers the time of her childhood, going to school had been hard, there were lots of expectations of someone even as young as her – but her parents had always been nice, no matter how slow she did her homework. 

with her father working in foreign affairs, moving away from korea had always been on the table, it was just a matter of when rather than if. when the opportunity of moving to california arose, both of her parents were ecstatic to take it and within a short amount of time, yebin remembered all of their things packed into cartons and bags and she was on the airplane at the age of twelve. 

from early on, yebin had an interest in drawing and art, often staring at colors mixing on a canvas or doodling along in scrapbooks, and it was the only thing that kept her mind off of the stress of moving to a completely foreign place. the little english she had learned in school needed to be improved, and it took many private lessons at home until yebin even felt comfortable enough to speak up in these new surroundings. 

during her teenage years yebin liked to keep to herself, not really minding what was going on around her. she liked coming home to the food her mother cooks every day – still does – and would prefer to be in her room drawing rather than meeting up with classmates or getting into trouble. after all, her parents were still sort of strict, and she didn’t really want to know what would happen if she was to disappoint them. 

even if yebin didn’t really want to attend college, her parents still kept suggesting maybe picking a major that would help with her future; which looked rather bland. if anything, yebin wanted to do something with art, something she considered herself relatively good at, and she ended up applying for sun valley at the age of eighteen for a major in graphic design. 

however, that entire thing didn’t turn out too well as she quickly felt overwhelmed with the workload and didn’t like how she was just thrown into this unknown world once more only because of her parents, which caused a slight phase of rebellion. secretly, instead of going to class, she decided to pick up a training as tattoo artist. she had always wondered how her drawings would look like on skin as a tattoo and now she could finally have the answer. 

obviously, her parents weren’t delighted with the decisions that she had made and threatened to kick her out of the house – which in the end didn’t happen and now she’s still living with them, peacefully at most times. after a while, to be more exact a few months, the initial anger washed off and got replaced by acceptance, to yebin’s luck; feeling like she had disappointed her parents had never sat well with her. 

✁ 。。。present.

yebin is working as a tattoo artist at skin deep after having taken an apprenticeship for 3 years. she wanted to make sure that she was doing everything right as in her home country the process of becoming a tattoo artist requires some sort of medical license and if she already wants to disappoint her parents, she might as well do it in a proper way. 

she currently lives at home with her parents and gets along well with them. she helps out with groceries and chores in return of still living in her room for ‘free’. 

she has completely dropped out of her degree that she didn’t even really start at sun valley and is now not enrolled in college at all anymore. 

shes trying to learn the guitar eagerly, practicing every day to upload videos of their musical project with alex.

if anyone is looking for her, she can easily be found either at skin deep or roaming around in the close proximity, or you might be out of luck and she’s just vibing at home and you’ll need to try texting. 

✁ 。。。personality. 

yebin is more on the quiet side. she prefers listening over talking, as she often doesn’t really find the right words to say, or her sentences end up coming out ‘weird’ because she can’t think of the right word to put in. 

she is loyal, if she has friends, it’s always ride or die. okay, maybe not that hard, but she always does her best to be her best self for her friends, even if there isn’t much reciprocation; she’s convinced that there’s some sort of karma floating around, and if she is nice to just everyone, life’s problems will fix themselves in one way or another. 

she is also motivated; through what had happened with her attempt at college and changing up her career path completely, yebin has learned that in the end, with a little push, one can achieve what one wants if they just don’t listen to all the repercussions everyone else has to say. 

on the other hand, since she tends to be so quiet, she can be rather vague with her thoughts and opinions. often times, she reckons that in the end, people don’t even really listen to one another anyway, so her conversations or opinions can flip flop around from one end to another, or sometimes she will even just say things to please the other. 

impulsive; since things have been going rather well for her in the past time, specially making impulsive decisions, sometimes things like going out drinking ( too much ) or getting a wobbly tattoo are things she will do on a whim and might turn out... not too great. 

✁ 。。。wanted plots.

green plot; aesthetics ( doodles in bullet journals, round glasses, the smell of coffee and cigarettes, late night walks, stars above ) –– the two of them enjoy each other’s company; deep talks are had, cigarettes are smoked, life is just going on while they spend the night sitting somewhere just taking in each other’s company. 

yellow plot; aeshethics ( faint sound of music, laughter, sleepovers, secrets being whispered ) –– the sort of besties relation: they get along way too well and share everything, gossip and get into trouble together. always together! 

red plot; aesthetics ( knuckles cracking, deep breaths, quick steps, loud thoughts ) –– somehow they don’t get along. maybe they crossed the wrong people at the wrong time, maybe they were involved in some sort of problem; after all, it’s not like that they hate each other, just every time they are together, they get into big trouble. 

purple plot; aesthetics ( strangers passing by, clearing throats, dry hands, comfortable silence in between old friends ) –– maybe they had a falling out. maybe something has happened in between them that they deemed as irrepairable. maybe now, after many years, they can finally make up for the time they lost and get along once more.  

orange plot; aesthetics ( leather jackets, hangovers, bad decisions, the taste of alcohol ) –– mutual bad influences. life has to be fun right? however, whenever the both of them are together, life seemts to be a little too fun... 

blue plot; aesthetics ( innocent hand holding, taking notes, apple juice, shared memories ) –– someone from her childhood who helped her get around san verto, learn english properly and maybe just helped her get a grip in general. she will have an eternal feeling of gratefulness towards this person. 

more coming soon for sure!

[isadcrajade]

💀 * [ barbie ferreira + cis female + she/her ] —— have you met isadora oliveira ? they are a twenty-one year old sophomore currently studying fashion design & merchandising. they live on keating house, and word around campus is that this aries is loyal + warm, as well as self-objectifying + obsequious. i wonder if they’ll make it out alive. chocolate covered strawberries, gothic platforms, lingerie under leather jackets.

hiii bbies it’s me (gabby) finally here again to post this finalized, messy version of isa’s intro! she’s a brand new never-been-played muse of mine so it’s def bound to be a bit more scattered & less developed than ezra’s, but also much shorter? so i mean there’s a bonus lmao alright here we go:

so isadora (also known by many nicknames such as isa, izzy, iz, & dora the explora if ur trying to piss her off vgbjhksjs) was definitely not brought up in a world of prestige and recognition like the one she’s become so accustomed to in attending holloway university

growing up in the small town of lisbon, maine the only reality isa knew during her childhood was that of living as the only child of a woman who was (TW) both a compulsive liar & and compulsive hoarder. their house was floor to ceiling with things her mom collected as well as garbage built up over time- her condition had already driven isa’s father out of the house when she was just three years old, and she never had a relationship with him as a result

she was still fairly young when she realized the true severity of her own situation, just how abnormal it was compared to that of her friends. she missed out on so many rights of passage during her upbringing like birthday parties, sleepovers, etc. for much of her life her own living space / bedroom were just as bad off as the rest of the house, given her mom’s inability to keep from passing her hoarding tendencies onto her daughter. isa simply didn’t know any better at the time. to her, that was normal.

not only was her mom a compulsive liar & hoarder but she was also extremely neglectful, often leaving isa to her own devices in the dangerous environment they called home. as a result of this she (TW ED) developed harmful coping mechanisms surrounding food, regularly overeating to combat negative feelings of loneliness, and this went on from the time she was just a little girl all the way until she was in high school

high school was rough in many ways- she suffered depression, anxiety, experienced bullying at the hands of the more popular kids for her weight & her mother’s financial situation, and was all around extremely isolated from her peers- the only person she really had to depend on was her cousin (WC) . she had so much respect and envy for her cousin, they had more of a sisterly dynamic than anything, she was just so gorgeous and everything she did just seemed so effortless, to the point isa couldn’t help but idolize her and consider her a best friend. 

like, remember when spongebob said he hoped that by being in squidward’s presence some of his artistic ability would rub off onto him? that was deadass isa & (WC) in high school jhbksnjs my girl was so sure if she just spent enough time with her she’d inherit some of her pretty & cool

high school was also where she reached a turning point when it came to her home environment, able to put a name to her mom’s condition after years of struggling with her strained and toxic relationship with her mom, and ultimately changed the rest of her life. she stayed the night at (WC’s) one night and after she fell asleep, isa stayed up watching TLC- it was there that she first discovered the TV show ‘hoarding: buried alive’ and realized there was a name for her mother’s infliction- but more importantly, learned that there was help available for her condition

when she went home to excitedly tell her mother that she’d basically discovered a cure, a means to change everything for them... she certainly hadn’t been expecting the reaction that came: her mom, who’d always been so indifferent toward her, so lethargic and uninterested in what she had to say, was suddenly listening very clearly- and she was not happy. isa had never heard her mom scream like that, had never really heard her express any heightened emotion, but it was in that moment at 17 years old, just a few weeks away from her 18th birthday, that she realized what she needed to do. she had no choice but to make plans to leave her mom behind.

the final weeks leading up to the big day she was counting on as a turning point consisted of her cleaning out her own space, little by little, enough that she had somewhere to set up her secondhand laptop and webcam. blowing out the candles on her 18th birthday cake came with wishing for a whole new life, and she was determined to make that for herself by any means necessary.

(TW SEX WORK) isa spent half her 18th year in her room working as a successful camgirl, showing everything but her face, & of course always being careful not to dox herself. she eventually earned enough money to start buying herself nicer clothes, but it didn���t take her long to realize she wanted more from life than just rotting away in her hometown. she bought herself a higher quality webcam to keep making money... and a nice sewing machine, something she’d always dreamed of owning. 

all her life she’d been drawing and sketching as a means of escapism, it’d always been therapeutic to her to be creative and conjure up unique designs for outfits in her mind, drawing models in all shapes and sizes to represent her fantasy outfits. but she never felt like a visionary, even though anyone with an eye for fashion who got a look at her work could see that she had the natural talent and potential to be. 

isa had been an a straight-A student her whole life despite having almost no support at home from her mother growing up, and with plenty of encouragement from (cousin WC), she plucked up the courage and applied for holloway university, with ivory falls being far enough from her hometown of lisbon, but still in the same state so that she could go and see her mother from time to time (bc although their relationship is quite strained now, she still loves and worries about her)

the next summer she received her acceptance letter at holloway u for the coming fall semester, and the fact that she’d been able to make it into such a prestigious school made her feel so proud of herself that she completely underwent a massive arc of character development; evolving into someone so much more confident. realizing that plenty of people found her desirable as she continued to earn money through cam shows had been part of that transformation, but realizing she was talented enough to get accepted into the fashion design and merchandising program at her dream school had a completely different effect on her. 

( TW BODY IMAGE ISSUES ) isa decided that as she entered college, she was no longer going to be the meek, insecure girl constantly playing the role of the doting, loyal fat best friend to the ‘prettier main characters’ she’d always been sidekick to- she told herself that she was the main fucking character in her life from here on, and has spent her entire college experience up to this point just,, navigating as she figures out what that really means to her

still has a terrible underlying tendency to be overly-loyal and a bit obsessive with girls she closely befriends, if she has any kind of jealousy towards them. but ! is a lot more confident than she used to be, and it shows in the way she dresses and carries herself, as well as in her long-term goals (to transfer to FIDM for her final years of university)

( TW ED MENTION ) as a young adult, she’s mostly she’s replaced the compulsion to deal with her body image issues by using food to cope that she had as a teenager... by using sex to cope instead, so she’s definitely a bit promiscuous but does her best to keep that Her Own business 

personality-wise she has a massive heart & is loyal to a fault but is also wild AF & loves a good time! never rly dabbled in drugs until she got to college but since then has acquired an interest in trying everything under the sun, even if it’s just one and done. mostly though she just likes to get really drunk & stupid. used to feel like she was constantly living in her cousin’s shadow, & in some ways she still does, but she’s trying hard to make herself believe that she’s reached a place where she won’t be playing second fiddle to anyone, ever again

i’m gonna shut the hell up now & stop pretending i know this character better than i do bc i deadass do not jbhnjss like she’s literally brand new so lemme go head & leave plenty of room for development!

same story as ezra i’ll have a full connections page posted for her soon but in the meantime some ideas i have are: friends, frienemies, ex friends, high school bullies, classmates, old high school friends, people she gets fuckt up with on the reg, people she hooks up with on the reg (any gender, she’s bisexual / biromantic), someone she had a crush on in high school / has pined for from afar maybe?? someone who used to watch her cam shows?? someone she almost kinda dated but Not? someone who she hooked up with while they were dating someone else?? idk that’s what i have for now but there’ll be more where that came from <3 xoxo like this or hmu !

[stardustdaemon]

We’ll Be Okay - Final

Finally here. I would like to say in advance, I’ve been debating an addition to this story since I finished it, a few ideas on where to take it and I hope this is the ending you would’ve liked to see for this fic. That being said, thank you to everyone who has given it support and love. Big love to you all and, enjoy!!!

                       —————————————————

It had been a few years since his last big scare. It was almost hard to imagine or believe, waking up every day with a fraction more energy than the last, a little more weight on his frame.

The hardest thing to believe was the warmth of Yoongi next to him every morning, the way his face would scrunch up when the sun light that peeked through the curtains would hit his face, the drawl of his voice when he’d wake up, the petulant and almost childish way he’d draw the covers over his head almost every morning.

Being able to get out of bed every morning, energy bursting at the seams as he’d go about showering, making breakfast and getting the olders coffee ready, always black with no sugar.

He remembered the day Yoongi asked him to move in with him, a bland day sat in a café to wait out the rain.

“Hey, I was looking at apartments the other day. I found some pretty nice ones.” Yoongi had spoken the words into the rim of his cup, piquing Taehyungs interest as the younger leant forwards slightly, replying with a hum of interest.

“They’re all pretty affordable too, how about you come look at them with me? One of them has a balcony, I know you like to star gaze.” His tone was gentle, soft in a rare and intimate way that made Taehyung’s heart flutter, in a good way. He nodded, taking a sip of his smoothie.

“Yeah sure! I’d love to come round to look at the sky. A bigger place will be better too, your current apartment is really cramped.” Taehyung mused, gently biting his straw absentmindedly, eyes trained on the rain. Yoongi stayed silent for a while before huffing, leaning over to hold Taehyungs hand. The younger raised an eyebrow, nodding to let Yoongi know he was listening.

“I actually wanted you to come with me. To move with me.” The words were quiet, swept away with the noise of the door opening but Taehyung had heard it clear as day, his face flushing red as he stared at the older, face splitting into a grin as he squeezed his hand.

“I would love to!”

It took some convincing both Jin and Namjoon that he’d be okay, ended with him making a promise to message them every day and meet up once a week. Not that he minded, he knew they were only concerned.

He often felt bad, for hiding how much pain he was in over the years, in fear of bothering everyone or stopping them from something important. But now older and better, he knew none of them blamed him, for being ill or hiding it, but he also understood the importance of telling those around him. Those who loved him.

“I don’t have much on today, just a phonecall. Want to do something?” Yoongi’s voice broke through his thoughts and Taehyung nodded, taking a bite out of his apple before leaning down to kiss his boyfriends forehead. Yoongi just smiled, hooking an arm around his waist to keep him close.  They stayed that way for a while, content in the silence of each others company.

“Can we just stay in today and watch a movie? Maybe order pizza, I really want Pizza.” Taehyung mused, chucking his apple core straight into the bin, hand resting over his heart in habit. Yoongi noticed, shaking his head to himself at the tiny spike of panic.

Taehyung hadn’t had an emergency in two years, since then they’d put him on new medication that seemed to be working wonders. He still got tired quicker than everyone else, sometimes nauseous out of nowhere and rarely threw up. There were days he’d spend in bed, pale and weak but he’d be bouncing about the apartment the next day, skin golden and warm. He’d join in on the play fights with Jimin and Jungkook, sometimes accompanying Hoseok to his dance practice, surprisingly good with his body.

As Yoongi watched his boyfriend (he still couldn’t quite believe he got to call him that) potter about the kitchen, he couldn’t help but smile. He always thought Taehyung was like the sun; bright and warm, welcoming and almost homey, even when he was at his worst. But now, the man stood in front of him was brighter than the sun, shining brighter than any star he could ever see.

“If we’re not going out, do we have to get dressed?” Taehyung mused, reaching for a glass as Yoongi stood up, arms wrapping around his waist, cheek pressing to his back.

“Nah, like this is just fine.” He mumbled, relishing in the gentle vibrations of the others laugh, way his shoulders moved with each breath.

“I think that’s everything. Why do we have so much stuff Yoongi?” Taehyung called out, dropping to the floor to catch his breath, ignoring the shoe digging into his hip. Yoongi just shrugged, leaning over him, hair and necklace dangling from his frame.

“No idea, though half of this is your god damn wardrobe.” He quipped, standing straight when Tae retaliated by swiping for his pendant. After helping the younger up, Yoongi led him to the bedroom, sitting him on the bed with a concerned frown. Taehyung rolled his eyes, forcing the irritation bubbling up inside of him to settle down. Yoongi was allowed to worry, he needed to learn to accept this.

“Get some rest, you did a lot today.” Yoongi’s words were quiet as he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to the youngers forehead. Taehyung just nodded, shrugging his jacket off an laying down.

“You too old man, it’s late. We can unpack tomorrow.”

“So, what are we watching anyway?” Yoongi asked, opening his arms on instinct as Taehyung leant backwards, back pressed to his chest.  

“Something cheesy. I don’t care that you don’t like it, you always fall asleep anyway.” Tae answered, shoving a slice of pizza at Yoongi’s mouth, a sign to not reply.

They settled in, lit only by the light of the screen as the main character appeared in what seemed to be a montage of their morning. Yoongi just sighed, hands pressed flat to Tae’s stomach as he settled in, eyes focusing on the boy in front of him rather than the screen.

The film was boring, incredibly so and Taehyung became restless half way through, eventually sitting up with a groan, stretching his arm above his head. They switched to an action movie, this time sitting side by side, knees touching and hands linked.

Life was easy with Taehyung. And even though in one of their cupboards there was emergency drips and needles, injections and stronger medication, it didn’t scare either of them anymore. Yoongi had asked the nurses to teach him how to administer any treatment. Taehyung still had scars and marks all over his body, but they were replaced by lingering kisses and gentle touches, hard to even remember anymore. Every inch of him was saturated in love, in adoration and he was happy.

Once they’d fully realised the depths of their feelings for one another, any awkwardness faded away, opening up to a relaxed and friendly atmosphere, often described by those around them as a “love that has already been for years and years.”

It had happened too fast. One moment Taehyung was happy, bubbly, leg propped up on the sofa as him and Jimin harmonised to the song on the radio, the next we had dropped to the floor, breathing shallow and hand on his heart. He briefly remembered his name being called, an extra voice, a journey into a car then blinded by lights.

He awoke where he knew he’d be, in a hospital bed, greeted by the setting sun and Yoongi sat at his side, face tight with stress.  

“Hey.” Taehyung spoke, sitting up and ignoring the way his body ached. Yoongi smiled, shoulders relaxing ever so slightly as he stood up, arms wrapping around the other. No more words were exchanged, both knew what the other was thinking, feeling.  

Once the doctor had been by, made sure Taehyung knew the signs of his limits and how to keep his energy high and given him a new prescription, he was free to leave once he felt ready. Yoongi stayed by his side, easy and going with what Taehyung said and he was grateful that he wasn’t making a fuss anymore. Grateful he didn’t feel guilty this time.  

The drive home was familiar and calm, eventually opening up to promises to protect and affirmations to stay safe.

Once their door was open, Yoongi had cracked, letting a tear fall down his face as he pulled Taehyung into a hug.

“Before I say anything, you’re not allowed to feel guilty, but, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing you in a hospital bed, the feeling that runs through me when I know what’s happened. But I also know you’ll fight it, all the way, and I’m so proud of you for that. I love you. Thank you, for letting me in.”

Now bathed in the blue light of the tv, watching Yoongi’s chest rise with his breaths, his head on Taehyung’s shoulder as he slept, Taehyung had never felt happier.

“I love you.”

[whereisten]

The Agreement

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Summary: Vampire!Sicheng needs a new toy and he just so happens to find you, a struggling college student that would literally give up a few drops of blood for some quick cash. An agreement is reached, you are told that you are strictly forbidden from falling in love. You are to only show up, give blood, get money. Seems pretty easy, right?

Pairing: Vampire!Sicheng X female reader

Genre (emboldened words signify what this specific part has): angst, smut, fluff, violence

Chapter Warnings: alcohol usage, drug mention

Word Count: 5.7K

----------------------

It’s the first day at your new job and you close the door of the Uber as you approach Sicheng’s house.You give the door a light knock and Sicheng answers it just as quickly as he did the first time.

“You’re here.” Sicheng smiles when he sees you at his doorway.

You smile and nod.

“Come in.”

You’re both quiet during the first meeting, but your mind is filled with many questions. Who was Sicheng? Why did he live alone? How did he get like this? You thought you should get to know him better. He was drinking your blood after all.

Sicheng watched the Twilight Zone on an old black and white television as you had the blood drawn out of you in his entertainment room.

Your cushioned chair was comfortable and you felt you might drift off into sleep, but you didn’t want to, not in this place and with this man that you weren’t familiar with.

“What episode is this?” You finally broke the silence and asked.

“The Midnight Sun” Sicheng answered while still watching.

“And... how many times have you watched it?” You asked him.

He laughed out and turned to look at you. “Too many times.”

The episode follows a young lady struggling to live in the blistering heat. In this universe, there is no night, no moon, no cool air and the world is suffering as the sun draws closer and closer every day.

“I like this episode” you responded and he turned around gave you a look of shock. “You’ve seen this already?” He asked softly.

“Well, Yeah, I didn’t have dvr or satellite growing up so I could only watch what showed on the channels..for old people..” you mumbled the last part.

“I’m sorry—I didn’t mean..”

He laughed and you swore you heard angels sing. “it’s fine, I am old.”

You opened your mouth to ask but stopped yourself.

“The acting is wonderful” Sicheng picked up a cup of tea and brought it to his pink lips. He spoke like an actress from an old Clint Eastwood movie.

“Could you survive..in a world like that?” You quietly asked Sicheng.

He placed his cup down and turned to you. “I don’t know. There’s only so much of the sun I can take. My cells regenerate themselves, but if they’re killed at a ridiculously fast rate, I may not survive.”

You nodded and looked back at the TV.

Sicheng was delicate, you were captivated by the way he moved and the way he spoke. He was always so graceful and careful. You could tell he was from a different generation as he possessed manners that kids your age had no idea existed.

Day two was the same, the two of you watched the Twilight Zone and didn’t speak to each other.

The session was over and you were fixing your jacket on your body while he collected the small bags of blood you filled.

He never drank out of them in front of you, you figured that it wasn’t a pleasant sight and that’s why he chose not to.

“How are you feeling?” He asked before you opened the front door. He always walked you out like a gentleman saying goodbye to his one night stand.

You smiled when you turned and saw his worried expression. “I’m fine.”

He smiled. “Good, I’ll see you on Friday.”

It wasn’t until Friday, the third session, that you finally asked the burning question.You were watching The Hitch-Hiker episode.

“Sicheng, what happened? How—did you get like this?” You watched the pale man breathe slowly.

He turned to you and paused.

“I’m sorry, forget I asked, it’s none of my business.” The last thing you wanted to do was piss off your pleasant boss. He made our job so easy, it was like you were a sugar baby but instead of sex, you gave blood. It was easy and great.

“It’s alright, y/n.” He gave a small smile.

“My father, he was what you young ones call, a jerk. He was a narcissist. He had the disease, but my mother was human. I was human. My father and I would practice fencing in the woods by our house in China, and one day, a hunter finally caught him.” Sicheng paused and stirred a sugar cube in his tea.

“You see, we can only die at the hands of someone that loves us, and the hunter knew this. He took my mother from the house and held her at gunpoint while forcing a knife in her hand. My mother reluctantly drove the knife through my father’s chest and he started to die, but he couldn’t bare to think of the finale of his “superhuman” gift. He decided to pass it on to me before he died. My mother saw this and quickly turned the gun on the hunter and killed him before he could get to me.” Sicheng cleared his throat and looked at a painting above the piano in the corner.

It was of an older man in a military suit.

“That’s him, that’s the bastard that gave me this curse.” Sicheng said through clenched teeth.

Your eyes widened. What a terrible thing to experience at 22. You couldn’t imagine going through it yourself. But now you understood the crucial rule in the agreement. The one that forbid you from falling in love. It would give you the power to kill him.

“And so, I was pressured into taking over my father’s finances and businesses. I took care of my mother until she died. She hoped that I would bring her grandchildren, but I never did...I don’t want to carry on this bloodline, his bloodline.” Sicheng said in a deep tone.

The timed machine went off and you jumped in your chair, frightened by the alarm.

“I’m sorry Sicheng, I’m sorry that happened to you.” You said quietly as he got up to unhook you from the machine and take the needle out.

Sicheng laughed and shook his head while grabbing gauze. “Don’t be apologize, dear, this happened long before you were born.”

You gave a small smile. You started to gather your things to leave, but Sicheng stopped you by gently placing a hand on your arm.

“This is yours, thank you” Sicheng handed you a black bag with cash.“It’s $1,050. I’m sorry, I don’t use debit card or Orange Pay or whatever you guys call it.”

Your eyes widened. “oh—thank you.” You took the bag and Sicheng nodded and walked back to his entertainment room.

You were saddened to learn of his tragic past. He was expected to do so much at such a young age all while living as a completely different person, with strange abilities he couldn’t understand and a demanding craving for blood. He was cursed to lie without the ability to love and be loved back.

Twenty minutes passed and you still stood in his foyer. No one was driving for Uber right now as a terrible thunderstorm rolled on outside. The thunder shook the walls of Sicheng’s grand house and the chandeliers swayed back and forth, it really was a bad storm, so you understood why no one would be on he street.

You sighed.

Sicheng walked out of the entertainment room and wiped his mouth clean with his hand.He just finished drinking.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, surprised to see that you were still there.

“I—there’s no one driving right now, it’s the storm” you gave a small smile. “Im sorry I’m still here.”

“It’s alright, y/n. I’ll drive you back.” Sicheng walked closer to you.

“Are you sure? It’s terrible out there.. I can wait a few more minutes.”

Sicheng shook his head, “I hear and see everything, the darkness only heightens my senses even more.” He smirked.

You laughed. “Okay, now, I didn’t think you were a show-off but I guess I was wrong.” Sicheng laughed. “Come on, lets go.”

Sicheng led you through his house and to a door which led to the garage. The garage was huge and filled with several exotic cars.

“Whoa” you gasped at the sight of the expensive cars you only saw on TV.

“So you don’t have Apple Pay but you have the newest Lamborghini?” You walked around and gazed at the two door car.

Sicheng laughed. “Taking my father’s place does have its perks.”

Sicheng opened the passenger door to it and held it open for you.

——————

“Thank you for this.” You turned to Sicheng as he drove on the highway to your dorm.

As expected, Sicheng has the radio on the station that plays jazz music.

“What do you study?” Sicheng breaks the silence.

“Oh—psychology.” You said.

“Oh! That’s nice!” Sicheng said brightly.

The two of you went on to talk about the growth of the field. Sicheng told you that he was impressed by how much you knew.

“Do you like jazz?” He was asking the questions now and you didn’t know how to feel about it. You two were establishing a relationship, but you liked the way he talked, sometimes you couldn’t focus on what he was saying while you listened to his sensual voice.

“Y-Yeah it’s nice.” You nodded and look outside to the rain that threatened to break through the glass.

“I love it.” Sicheng said as he turned into your campus.

“Of course you do, old man.” You teased and laughed, you felt that you two were finally becoming friends. You didn’t want everything to be so serious.

He laughed. “You’re ruthless and brave, I like that.” He turned to you and smiled.

You both sat still in the car for a moment as you watched his puffy lips.

He leaned in closer and watched your lips as well. The rain suddenly stopped and you looked outside and turned to him.

“I should—go now.” You got your bag and left as he nodded.

What was that? You thought to yourself as you walked to your dorm.———————

You and Sicheng grew closer as time went on. You would watch TV shows together and share the memories you had—well, it was mostly you listening to Sicheng reminisce on the ,memorable events that occurred in his long life. 

To be honest, you just loved watching him talk. There was just something about his voice that you liked. It was warm and soothing.

Sicheng enjoyed his time with you too. He liked how funny you were and how you would call him “old man” whenever you said goodbye. 

He liked watching you laugh and smile while the two of you watched his old DVD’s.You both noticed that you looked at each other more frequently, more...longingly.

Sicheng felt his heart growing in adoration for you and he should’ve stopped what was bound to happen. 

He knew better, but he couldn’t. He liked being around you.

“This is like...ancient, you need to upgrade.” You said as you watched Sicheng pop a DVD into the DVD player that sat in the corner of his entertainment room.

I Love Lucy came up in bold letters across the screen.

“All the other shows we’ve watched are good, but this..this is my favorite.” Sicheng grinned as he sat down on his couch and pressed play on the remote.

It’s the episode where Lucy and her friend try to work a factory job where they organize chocolates, but they can’t keep up and end up having to eat the chocolates from the conveyor belt.

He laughs as he watches it with you and you can’t help but watch him, fascinated by his bright expression and his dimples, the way his mouth opened wide and his big eyes squinted. His teeth were perfect as was his jawline, everything was so perfect.

You smiled to yourself at first, but frowned once you felt the longing in your chest. The two of you were getting close after these two weeks, dangerously close.

He was helping you financially and spiritually because he made you happier and gave you something new to do to distract you from your college life filled with due dates and endless studying. It gave you anxiety,but he calmed you down.

You wanted to be more than just friends, but you were afraid of liking him. His glances and the way he watched you laugh told you that he felt the same way too.

“Don’t fall in love.” Yuta’s voice echoed through your mind. 

There was a reason he said this, so you figured it was best to heed his warning.

But how could you when Sicheng was charming and kind? He was strangely attractive at every moment. He never had a bad look, his hair always neatly styled, his shirt always pressed and crisp.

His hands were soft, you watched as he raised one to his jaw and placed it in his palm while he watched the TV.

He was an anomaly, he had the knowledge and manners of a 70 year old man, but he still looked like he could attend college with you.

“Do you want to paint me while you’re at it?” Sicheng said while still watching the TV. He knew you were staring as you were doing a terrible job at hiding it.

“I-I’m sorry,” you laughed.

He turned to you and smirked. “Don’t be.”

Your chest felt a strange pull when he looked at you so you quickly looked away.

It was moments like this that told you your heart was already too far gone.———————

It’d been a while since you and Bella went to a campus party or a nightclub, so you thought it’d be the perfect opportunity to get out and celebrate with your money one Saturday night.

When you arrive to the club, you buy a few drinks for you and Bella.

“Okay! OKAY, do you feel it now Mr. Crabs??” Bella shouts after she’s taken a seventh shot at the bar. She is already tipsy and laughs out loud as she slams the shot glass down.

You smiled, you were happy to see her happy. It had been a while since the two of you just had fun.

“Bella! That’s it for tonight okay? Lets dance!” You grab her hand and take her to the dance floor.

The flashing blue, pink and red lights decorate the club as the DJ plays a mix of pop and hip hop hits. Sweaty bodies bump into each other while couples swallow each others’ tongues on the dance floor.

Bella is smiling and twists her waist so that she moves sensually to the beat. You mirror her action and just feel the rhythm in your veins, closing your eyes for a second.

“Hey Girls!!!” You hear a female voice shout from a few feet away. Once you open your eyes, you see that it’s Rebecca, a mutual friend you and Bella had. Rebecca was tall and gorgeous. 

She always had a possy with her, but she stood out from them. So of course, she caught your attention with the her glowing skin and sparkly dress, accented by her long golden hair. She really was a model and while you could’ve been jealous of her for her dashingly good looks, you couldn’t. She was also very sweet.

“Ahh!! Hey! How are you?” You excitedly jump up to hug her.

“I’m wonderful, it’s nice to see you bookworms out for once! You look amazing.” Rebecca pulled back and eyed you up and down.

You did look amazing in your tight red strapless dress. You took a risk by having some faith in your strapless bra, but it did its job and now your boobs sat perfectly while the dress hugged your curves in all the right places.

“Thank you!” You smiled and watched as Rebecca talked with Bella, who managed to slur out a few words out correctly. You didn’t know that the alcohol had hit her so hard, so fast.

The girls start to dance again and you eventually get tired in your high heels, which were the worst part about your outfit. You didn’t wear them very often so when you did, your ankles screamed at you for making such a poor decision.

“I’m gonna take a seat for a moment guys!” You yelled out over the loud music and Rebecca and Bella both nodded.

You head over to the bar and sit on a high stool to massage your ankle.

You look back up and a pair of eyes watching you in the corner catch your eye. You squint your eyes and see that you recognize the man.

Sicheng.

What was he doing here? He didn’t seem like the type to go out and party. Then again, why would he only stay home and watch black and white TV for an eternity?

You gave a cute smile, but he only turned back to the men that surrounded him and rejoined the conversation.

“Oh..okay” you shrug your shoulders and pull your phone out from your handbag.

You were scrolling threw twitter and laughing to yourself at some funny posts when a tall man approached you.

“Hey bartender! Call 911, this lady just stole my heart.” He sat down beside you and smiled.

Oh no.

You turned to him and smiled while still holding your unlocked phone.

“That was..okay” you laughed.

He laughed as well and held his head down. “I tried.”

He was handsome, he had a strange glow about him and big eyes that drew you in. He was one of the men that Sicheng spoke to.

“My name’s Ben.” He held out a hand for you to shake.

“Nice to meet you, Ben” you shook his hand and gave a smaller smile.

You didn’t notice that Sicheng watched the two of you from far away. He fiddled with his watch and fixed his collar when he saw Ben hold your hand. 

He didn’t like it, but he didn’t know why. It wasn’t like you belonged to him, but he still didn’t like to see another man, especially one that he knew, get close to you.

“And what’s your name? Or should I just call you heart stealer?” Ben was charming as he flashed his bright teeth, he reminded you of the business students that went to your school, but he was a little older from what you had guessed. He wore a tight button up long sleeve shirt that stuck to his arms and had three buttons open to reveal the top of his sturdy pecs. 

He smelled like leather and donned a large gold watch that looked like it cost one year of tuition.

He looked expensive and..dangerous.You weren’t sure what would happen if you got too close.

“Heart stealer is fine.” You smiled and looked back at your phone.

He laughed. “you know, I saw you with your friends on the floor and you were the one that caught my eye. No, really, you’re beautiful.”

You looked back at him. “Thank you.” Then looked back at your phone.

You hoped that he would get the hint and leave, but he persisted.

“Can I get you a drink?” Ben tilted his head and tried to get your attention by waving his hand.

You put your phone down and sighed. “Ben, I’m sorry, but I’m not interested. I’m just taking a break here.”

Ben pouted. “I was hoping you’d make this easy for me.”

You furrowed your brows. “What?”

Ben looked up at you through completely black eyes. He drew closer to you and placed a hand on yours as you still watched him. 

and suddenly, you couldn’t do anything, you couldn’t move. You couldn’t even open your mouth to ask what was happening. 

Ben had a strange control over you, you were being forced to do everything he said, and while you were aware of this, there was nothing you could do to stop yourself.

“Ahh sweetie, that’s it, just relax.” Ben brushed a hand through your hair and gave a sinister smile.

“We’re gonna leave together, tell your friends you’ll see them tomorrow.” Ben whispered in your ear and you nodded.

“I’m going to drink your blood in the alley, and if you scream, I’ll rip your throat out. You won’t remember any of this tomorrow, you won’t remember me.” Ben grinned as he pulled back from your ear and stood up, his eyes returning to normal.

He took your hand as you got up and as you were about to walk over to your friends and do as Ben told you to, Sicheng took your other hand.

“What the fuck did you do, Ben?!” Sicheng yells to Ben who looks shocked. You stand still unable to focus on anything, but Ben’s commands.

“Release her!” Sicheng demands.

Ben only laughs and walks closer to Sicheng, “and if I don’t?”

“You know what happens when you do this..” Sicheng walked closer to Ben and watched as you stayed still but looked at him through low, sleepy-like eyes.

“I don’t care, she can pass out when I’m done, I’ll just get her some orange juice.” Ben looked at you and smiled wickedly.

He had no idea that Sicheng was already throwing a tight fist towards his face.

Ben was too slow and his jaw cracked at the sudden contact.

Sicheng grabbed your wrist and headed to the door. He had to take you home. Now.

“Y/n, it’s okay, I’m here, you’re gonna be okay. Focus on me.” 

He didn’t want to glamour you as that would only make your mental state worse. The only way for you to get out of your catatonic state is if he drinks directly from you. It was as if the glamour from Ben’s eyes infected you and was running through your blood so Sicheng had to get it out quickly.

You were almost at the exit when Ben grabbed your other wrist and pulled you toward him. 

Sicheng landed another punch and grabbed Ben by the throat. He lifted him in the air as some nearby dancers stopped and watched. The scene surely didn’t make any sense. Sicheng was at least half the size of Ben, but here he was lifting him off the ground with one hand.

“Don’t..test me.” Sicheng said through gritted teeth. You had never seen him so upset, it was scary, his eyes were filled with fire and rage. 

“You’re young and stupid, and even though I manage to tolerate your company, I will not hesitate to snap your neck in half and feed your body to dogs.”

Ben stares at Sicheng through black eyes as he struggled to breathe.

You were still drawn to Ben and his commands, your mind wouldn’t rest. Sicheng remembered your state and put Ben down before heading out with you again.——————

Sicheng takes you to his house where he lays you on his couch. 

He placed his hands on his kitchen counter and thought about what he would have to do. Did he really have to do it? Was it really the only way? 

He liked the friendship you two had and he didn’t want to ruin it. He knew that by making direct contact with you and drinking your blood, you would long for it after.

He held his head down and cursed Ben for being so foolish. You were unresponsive in the car as you were unresponsive now.

He walked over and looked down at your weak body. “Sicheng...what’s happening to me? Where’s Ben?” You asked innocently.

He knew you were only asking because you were commanded and manipulated by Ben. 

He sighed and kneeled down before wiping away a tear that fell down your cheek.

“I have to do what he says Sicheng, the longer I stay away from him, the more this fire builds...my chest hurts..I can’t breathe” you cried.

Sicheng knew that being glamoured was a horrific experience for the victim. He had to stop it. He softly brushed his thumb over your cheek and looked into your eyes. “Y/n...I’m sorry, please forgive me.”

You looked at him questioningly and watched as he lifted your wrist to his face.

“Sicheng..what are you doing?” You whispered but Sicheng opened his mouth to reveal two sharp fangs and bit into your wrist. 

You gasped at the pain and whined. The piercing feeling of his teeth puncturing your delicate skin soon faded away and now you only felt a heavenly sensation. 

You felt...high. You were finally in a state of bliss as the pain in your chest dissipated and Sicheng continued to suck your blood from your wrist. It was an indescribable feeling of pleasure.

Sicheng feels it too. He closes his eyes as he savors the taste of your sweet blood rushing into his mouth. The bitter taste of the alcohol you drank combined with the honey-like taste of your warm nectar made it difficult to stop.

“That feels good, Sicheng, don’t stop.” You grabbed onto the couch with your other hand and closed your eyes so that you could focus on the euphoric feeling running through your body.

The alcohol made Sicheng light headed, the sound of your rapidly beating heart filled his ears along with your angelic mewls and moans, and the sight of your soft body on his couch made him lustful.

His mind became filled with desires. He always did like you and now he had you right where he wanted you. He wanted to feel your body close to his while he drained it dry. He wanted to make you feel even better before taking every drop out of you. It was in his animalistic nature.

“Sicheng...” your soft cry interrupted his dangerous thoughts and he finally let go.

“I’m sorry, y/n.” He wipes his mouth with his sleeve and brushed away your hair from your face. 

“Y/n?” Sicheng’s eyes widened as he realized that he took too much blood from you.

You blacked out. He listened out and heard the faint beating of your heart so he knew that you weren’t dead. 

He sighed and and gulped, thankful that he didn’t kill you.

—————

The smokey smell of bacon fills your nose. You carefully open your eyes and look around you to find a soft blanket covering your body. It all comes back to you after you look down and see your cleavage and tight red dress from last night.

A bit of sunlight peeks through the large velvet curtains that cover the windows and then you figure out just exactly where you are. You look down at the heels that have been neatly placed beside the couch you’re on and try to remember how you got there, but you just can’t seem to.

All you know is that you feel light headed and weak. You try to sit up but your body won’t let you.

“You should rest.” A familiar voice comes up from behind.

“Sicheng? Wh-why am I here? What happened?” You drowsily asked.

“The food’s almost ready. I’ll explain everything while you eat.” Sicheng paces back to the kitchen.

You shake your head, still unable to decipher what was going on. 

“Wait—“ you tried to stand up and walk behind him but you falter and start to fall.

Suddenly, Sicheng rushes over to you and catches you before you make contact with his marble floor. 

Your eyes grew as you realized that he just caught your body at a crazy fast pace, but even though you’re caught off guard by his swift movements, you’re captivated by his eyes and the way they focus on your lips. 

It was like everything moved in slow motion. Maybe it was because you were light headed.

His defined arms stuck out under his rolled up sleeves, and his brown hair was now curly. You never saw him like this. He was laid back and cute.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get to brush it this morning when I got up. I had to hurry to the supermarket and get you food.” Sicheng blushed as you looked at his luscious hair. “Please sit, I’ll be right back.” Sicheng nods and lowers you onto the couch to sit.

“I didn’t know you cooked” You looked down at the source of the pain you feel in your wrist and see two small holes.

He walks up to you and places a tray with a plate of bacon, eggs, and buttered toast in front of you. The sunny side up eggs and crispy bacon were placed on the plate to form a smiley face.

You giggled.

“Actually..I’m quite disgusted by food, but I know you need the energy.” Sicheng gave you a small smile.

He was so good looking, you couldn’t help but smile back even though you felt like crap.

“Thank you, now what the hell happened to me?” You picked up the fork from the tray and stuffed your mouth with a piece of bacon.

Sicheng sighed and held his head down as he sat on the couch beside you. “What do you remember?”

“I remember getting to the club, seeing Rebecca...going to the bar..then seeing you. And—that’s about where it stops. I guess I drank more than I could handle.” You furrowed your brows and looked at the eggs.

“It wasn’t—the alcohol.” Sicheng looked down at you as he sat down beside you.

“Are you telling me I was drugged?” You stopped mid-chew.

“No no...well kinda..wait no” Sicheng stumbled over his words. He couldn’t figure out the easiest way to let you know.“There was a guy, his name’s Ben..he’s..like me.”

You nodded and waited for hime to continue.

“He glamoured you last night. It’s kinda like being hypnotized. He did it so he could drink from you without your objection. Once in this state, you’ll do anything he wants you to do. And the only way to get anyone out of that state is for someone to drink the poison out.”

Okay, wait, who the hell is Ben?” You asked.

“Don’t worry about him, he’s an asshole, but I’ll have him taken care of.” Sicheng looked to the side and gave a look of annoyance. 

You weren’t sure what he meant by that but it didn’t sound like things were gonna end well for Ben.

Sicheng stopped himself from clenching his fists and looked up at you, he studied your dainty face. He was upset that Ben had tried to hurt you. 

He waited for your reaction before he continued, but you still looked shocked.

“It doesn’t make any sense, I know, but I had to..drink from you.”

You choked. “You WHAT?”

Your eyes widened and looked back down at the two pin-sized holes that decorated your wrist.

“I’m sorry, it was the only way.” Sicheng turned to and touched your thigh. 

Your body felt shivers as his cold fingers touched your skin, but your mind was still trying to piece the puzzle pieces together. 

Sicheng broke one of his rules. He drank from you directly, he was the one that punctured your skin. Sicheng was so strict about his rules and you didn’t understand exactly why. But you knew that this could only mean that there were serious consequences to be expected once they’re broken.

“What does this mean, Sicheng? What’s gonna happen to me? Am I gonna..turn?” You gulped and looked up at him.

Sicheng looked at your eyes, taking in the depth of color they had for a moment. He had never looked at you for long, he never studied your features until now. You were so young and beautiful. He adored the shape of your eyes and the curve of your lips, even the slightest movements you made were graceful and soft.

“No..you won’t turn, but there will be side effects. You’ll have the urge to have your blood sucked again, it’s like a strong craving but you have to ignore it. It may take some time, but you will get over it. It’s like—a withdrawal from a strong drug.” Sicheng tried to give you a reassuring smile, but you only stared with large eyes.

“What if I can’t control it? What if I can’t ignore the feeling?”

“You’ll be okay, I promise, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.” Sicheng held your hand with the hand he was resting in your thigh.

Everything was happening so fast. You couldn’t remember anything from last night and now Sicheng tells you that you’re...addicted to a feeling that you can’t even remember.

Your mind was cloudy and you couldn’t think about anything but him for some reason. His touch sent sparks through your body and you started to feel a trembling in your chest whenever he looked at you or touched your skin. 

You knew what this meant, and you knew you had to stop it. You took the tray off of your lap and stood up, letting go of his hand.“Thank you for this, but I have to go.” Sicheng jumped up and held your back. “Are you sure? You should get some more rest.”

“I’m fine..please, can you just take home?” You looked up at Sicheng who gave you a somber look. 

He didn’t want you to leave, not so soon. He wanted you stay, but he didn’t know if he had this desire for you to be close to him so that he could make sure you were physically okay or if he was really developing a connection to you.

He only looked down and nodded before walking away from you to get his keys.—————

You got back to your dorm and fell onto your bed, thankful to finally be in familiar surroundings.

You stared at the ceiling and thought about him. You thought about how he made you feel and how he took care of you.

His small smile gave you butterflies as you left his car. 

You had reached your dorm and were about to leave when Sicheng touched your arm and leaned forward. His eyes gazed at your face, your eyes and your round cheeks, before settling on your lips while you breathed heavily. 

The sound of your heart beat increasing made him smile.

You were so close, you felt your chest rise up and down rapidly while you stared at his pink, round lips. You moved closer to him, so close you could feel his cold body just inches away from yours. But he pulled away.

He couldn’t do this to you, too. He couldn’t ruin you, like he did the others.

“I’m sorry, maybe..we should take a break” he turned to the road and put his hand back on the wheel. 

You felt a hint of pain in your chest when he suggested you not see him, but even with a cloudy mind, you knew that this was what was best for your health.

You were getting emotionally attached to him and this wasn’t part of the agreement.

He cleared his throat and didn’t look at you while you sat in silence for a moment.

“Call me if you feel different or weird. It’s best to stop it while it’s early.”  he said softly.

You weren’t sure what it was, but what if you didn’t want to stop it? What if you wanted to give in..to him?

[lokisgame]

A Generous Donation [11]

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9] [part 10]

They woke up together, early, because she needed to stop by her place to change for the day. "There's a new toothbrush in the cabinet," he grinned, kissing her good morning and earning a poke under the rib, laughing. "Good, you should use it sometimes," she said, and sat up, stretching arms over her head. "I should bring something to sleep in next time." Mulder grinned and ran one hand down her bare back. "I'm not complaining." "Something silk and short, you'd love it." "More than what you're wearing now? I doubt it." "Flatterer," she teased and went for the bathroom, wearing nothing and wearing it well.

Ten minutes later she was downstairs, taking the coffee he offered. They stood next to each other, leaning against the counter, she in her yesterday's business casual, he in loose swats and a t-shirt, scratching his cheek. The day settling in. "What time do you think they'll have the results." "Sometime before lunch," she said, "they'll call." "I can't imagine you did this for weeks." "What?" "Waiting, it's killing me." He said, but then checked himself, "bad joke, sorry." "Transplant ward humour," she smiled, bumping his shoulder, "you're a natural." "Type 0 negative, take what you want." "More dad jokes?" "As long they are not dead jokes." "You're hilarious," she deadpanned making him laugh, for real this time. "I have to go, thanks for the toothbrush." She put the mug in the sink and as she looked up, he touched her chin, bringing her lips to his, kissing them softly. "What's that for?" "Luck," he said and kissed her again. He got the call around noon.

Scully stood a few feet from the door to Will's room, waiting for Walter to be done talking to the head nurse, realising, she was biting her nails. "You're a mess," she told herself under her breath, trying to calm her heart and conjure some leftover confidence. "Shall we?" Walter said and together they went in. "Will," she greeted him, crossing the room as he looked up from the book he was reading. He smiled, if faintly, his eyes fixed on the man behind her. "Hi mom," he said and nodded, "Sir." "How are you doing Will," Skinner asked, shaking his hand. "Not too bad," Will said, closing the book. "Mom? What's going on." "We found a donor." She said, moving straight to the point. "Yes," Skinner nodded, standing by the foot of his bed. "And since you're legally an adult, we need your consent to start with the treatment." "You got a pen?" Will said, turning pale but sitting straight. "It's not like I have much choice." "You always have a choice," Skinner said, resting his hands on the footboard. "Hear him out, Will." Scully said, putting her arm around him. "I'm obligated to explain to you the procedure, before you sign anything, so listen carefully." Will nodded. "Before we get you better, we will have to make you worse, a lot worse." "Chemo, I know." "You have to understand, we have to wipe out your immune system and destroy your own bone marrow, to get you ready for the donor cells. It won't be pretty, you will have to go through a very aggressive regimen of chemotherapy, during which you will remain in isolation to limit any risk of infection." "How long that will take?" "About two days, it will hurt like hell and there might be complications." "What then." "While you go through the preparations, we will take marrow from the donor and store it, until you are ready for transplant." "Then?" "Then once you're ready, you’ll receive the new, healthy marrow, and then we wait." "How will that look like?" "Like a blood transfusion, the cells are transferred into your bloodstream and through that, settle in your bones, where they'll hopefully stay and start to grow, rebuilding your blood and immune system, while you remain in observation." "And how long that might be?" "Usually around 100 days," Skinner said, "during that time we will monitor your condition, watching blood cell counts and keep an eye out for any signs of graft rejection." "So we're looking at three months." "At the hospital, after that, you will remain under supervision, but hopefully on an out-patient basis." "Alright, when do we start?" "As soon as we get you transferred to isolation." "Don't worry," Scully said, drawing him closer, "I'll be as close to you as I can." "I know you will." He said, leaning a little into her. "Okay, where do I sign?" "Here are the forms," Skinner said, handing him a stack of papers with a pen. "I'll leave you for a moment, I have to talk to the nurses." "Thanks." Will said and started scribbling his name on dotted lines, his hand shaking a little. He was almost done with the paperwork when he spoke again, careful not to look up. "Mom?" "Yes?" "Who is it?" He asked quietly, "The donor, anyone we know?" Scully took a deep breath, finding her voice, then whispered. "It's Mulder." Will nodded, writing his name one last time with a flourish.

He answered the phone on third ring. "Mulder." "Hey, it's me." Her voice on the other end sounded small. "How is he?" "It's bad, the things he went through so far, are nothing compared to this." "It's necessary." "I know," she sighed, "but it doesn't make it any easier." "You'll stay with him all night?" "I need to, I can't leave him." "Of course, but try to get some sleep, for me, please?" "I'll try, and how are you doing?" "Nervous," he said, closing his eyes, "it's not like I'll be peeing into a plastic cup." She huffed out quarter of a laugh. "No, it's not," "Good to know there's still one laughing bone left in you intact," he teased softly, "you'll be okay. Both of you will." "You want me to take you home after?" "No, you don't have to." "Someone should keep an eye on you," Mulder laughed, warmed by her concern. "Scully, baby, you can't be in all places at once, and right now, Will needs you more than I do." "But it's the least I can do." "I talked to some friends, they'll come pick me up." "But," "Relax, I'll be alright. When do you think they will," "Thursday, if there's no complications." "Thanksgiving," Mulder said. "Yeah, let's hope we'll have something to be thankful for." Silence stretched, humming with anxiety. "Does he know it's me?" Mulder asked finally and Scully sighed, he could almost hear her shoulders slump. "Yes," she said, "I'm sorry, he asked." "No, it's okay," Mulder said gently, "he would've figured it out, eventually." Someone said something in the background and Scully said she'll be right with them. "I have to go," she said to the phone, "they're starting Will on another round." "Sure, go, we'll talk tomorrow." "Wait, what time is it?" "Almost eleven, go, be with your kid." "Mulder?" "Yeah?" "I," she choked on words and pain in her voice tore at his heart some more. "I know, go," he said and hung up.

The ballpark was full, Fenway Park packed to capacity with red, white and blue. Heavy clouds gathered in the east, threatening to dump their load and end the game before the Red Sox had any chance at fighting back. The score was tied and the tall, chestnut haired kid in the field already earned two strikes. Opposite him stood a giant, clad in Yankee midnight blue, his face merciless like the face of baseball God. Mulder watched the boy fix his grip on the bat. "Remember," he muttered under his voice, "hips before hands…" The ball flew, the boy swung the bat… "How are we doing, mr Mulder?" Boomed a voice, yanking him out of the dream and blowing it away in seconds, while reality rushed in. The sky outside looked painted with red and orange, sun finally peeking through to say goodnight. A tall, bald doctor was walking in, the one who was in charge of the procedure. Skinner was the name, Mulder remembered, gathering himself to sit up. "I had worse," he said while the mans' hands were on him, businesslike but not callous, checking pulse and bandages. He looked through Mulders' chart and satisfied, started making notes on some new papers he brought. "Well, you look fine enough to go home for the rest of the day. Most of the side effects should be gone by the end of the week," Skinner said, signing the release form, "but it can take up to a month for you to completely recover, so my advice is to try to take it easy." "I will," Mulder said and shook the doctor's hand. "Thank you." "No, Mr Mulder, thank you. You quite possibly saved a young mans' life, and my friends' son, I'm truly grateful." "He's a great kid." "He sure is." Skinner smiled and left the room. The tv hummed in the background and Mulder glanced at the clothes laid out on the bed. His back ached and the thought of pulling on pants filled him with dread, but he bit the bullet and, perched on the edge of the mattress, gingerly started to dress. "I can do this," he said to himself, moving at a glacial pace when a voice came from the doorway. "We volunteer to pick you up and this is what we get in return?" Mulder sighed and looked at the two men standing in the doorway. Both of them were around his age, but as he aged with grace and dignity, they looked basically as they did the day they met. Basements of MIT held some pretty interesting relics. "Stop passing judgment," he said to the tall one, "it's like Arctic in here." "No it's not," the man replied and walked in. "You sure you're okay to go home?" Asked the shorter one, pushing a wheelchair in front of him. "Frohike, get that thing away from me." "Hospital policy," the tall one grinned, adding, "old man." "Blow me, Langly," Mulder said, pulling himself to his feet, but then he hissed and wobbled. Langly caught him and helped him into the chair. "Easy." "Thanks." Frohike took the bag and the jacket from the bed and glanced around the room. "You had anything else with you?" "No," Mulder said, trying to control his breathing while his stomach auditioned for Cirque du Soleil. "Hey, you sure you okay?" "Yeah," he swallowed hard and finally looked up. "I'm just worried, I can do that at home as well." "If you say so." Frohike said pulling the doors open and Langly pushed the chair, with Mulder in it, towards the elevators and the parking lot.

The Gunmen didn't try to pull him into their conversation, letting him rest, while Byers pitched his patience against late afternoon traffic. They took him straight home, arguing from where to order the pizza, and what should be on top. They made the call from the car to save time. Mulder managed the steps to his front door and headed straight for the couch, pulling the blanket over himself, barely any strength left to toe off his sneakers. "Did you talk to the good doctor today?" "Yeah, she called this morning." "Called." Langly said, dubious. "She's with her son, no point in her going in and out of quarantine zone just to talk." "Well," he began, but then thought better of it. "You're right." "Here are your meds," Byers said, putting a glass of water next to the bag on the coffee table. "You should take them after dinner." The doorbell rang and Langly went to get it, his wallet out to pay for the delivery. Mulder ate one slice, without getting up, took the pills and watched the game on tv, which someone had turned on. Low conversation hummed around him, comfortable, familiar, and completely undemanding. It was one of the little things he was grateful for most, having people he could count on without worrying about returning the favour. Food, meds and being home helped a lot, but his mind kept drifting to Scully, her nervous hands he wished he could hold, her tense shoulders he would gather under his arm. His brave, strong Scully, fighting for her son. Mulder's prayers were short and to the point, since he wasn't even sure, if there was an all-powerful God. He didn't need much from the one above, or below, or around for that matter, if one wanted to be fair to all, nothing more than not making them stand over a hole in the ground, because that hole would forever stay open in their hearts. He didn't watch the game end, or notice the boys look at him then at each other. The question that hung unspoken, finally ripened enough to be voiced. "Why do you do it?" Frohike said from the chair by the fireplace and Mulder sighed, pulling the blankets a little closer around himself. "If I ever had a kid," he said quietly, "I hope there would be someone, who would do the same for him." His friends looked at him for a long moment, expressions gradually softening, while they accepted the answer as true to Mulders' nature as they might ever expect. "Well, let's hope it works." Frohike said and smiled warmly. "Yeah, let's." Mulder relied and watched them get up to leave. "Take it easy," said Byers, shrugging into his long coat, "and call if you need anything." "Thanks." "Anytime man." Langly said and zipped up his leather jacket. Frohike patted his shoulder and they left, leaving Mulder with his fears and aches. His part was done, now all he could do was wait.

[thdorkmagnet]

Chapter 3: Hoodies and Headbands

Summary: His whole life Marco Diaz has been raised by monsters, living under the cruel rule of their leader, Toffee. But one day Marco escapes into Mewni where he meets a magical princess and Mewman like himself, who begins teaching him all about her world. Together they will learn about life, love, and the lights within each of them, as they change their world forever.

Chapter Synopsis: Star take Marco shopping. 

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Disclaimer: Star vs and all its characters are owned by Daron Nefcy and Disney. All rights go to them.

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 Marco slowly opened his eyes, enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun on his tanned skin. He let out a deep yawn, trying to shrink farther under the warm covers, but he felt like something heavy was on top of him and it was disturbing his sleep. He sat up, trying to see what it was that was intruding on his peaceful slumber, until he came face to face with a dark haired girl. She hissed at him, reveling vampiric-like fangs and Marco screamed trying to scramble away from the girl, but in his rush he slipped and fell off the bed. He hit the floor with a loud thump, his body aching due to its contact with the firm ground.

The girl turned, staring down at him from her perch on the bed, a smooth smirk on her face, her fangs shining in the afternoon light. Her skin was tanned like Marco's and she had messy black hair tucked into a brown beanie, her eyes a slightly darker shade of brown. She had small skull cheek marks that glowed green when the light caught them. She wore a plain, olive green shirt beneath a turquoise blue jacket and a modestly short brown skirt, that matched her beanie and stylish brown boots. Though she didn't seem all that intimidating, the look in her eyes was giving Marco the creeps as she continued to stare at him.

“W-Who are you?” Marco squeaked, trying to back away from the crazy girl.

“Doesn't matter who I am,” the girl said, nonchalantly.

“What?!” Marco screeched in confusion.

“Who you are, now that's the question,” she continued raising a finger in the air, ignoring Marco's outburst. “You could be a thief here to steal from the Crown Princess of Mewni.”

“Theif?” Marco whimpered.

“Or, maybe your an assassin here to kill our beloved princess,” she added, a glare settling on her face, her fangs still visible beneath her frown.

“Assassin!” Marco squeaked, fear tightening its hold on his throat, making normal speech nearly impossible.

“Either way, I'm gonna have to kill you,” she said, calmly.

Marco panicked as the girl got off the bed and began walking over to him, her fangs clearly seen poking out from beneath her upper lip and Marco shuddered. “Wait no, stop!” he pleaded, waving his hands frantically in the air, while trying to scoot farther back, as the scary girl stalked closer. “There's been a mistake!”

“Janna!” a voice yelled and the two both turned to another girl, standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips, glaring at the girl towering over the shaking Marco. She had short, light-colored hair, almost white, with a single green stripe running down the left side. Her green eyes were wide and sparkling, her confidence radiating off of her even in the tense moment. She wore a white shirt with, dark green sleeves, a small seashell necklace hanging loosely around her neck, easily noticeable in front of the white top. She wore blue jean shorts coupled by long, white socks with green stripes that matched her sleeves, followed by light-blue sneakers. Marco looked at the girl with curiosity as she continued to glare from the doorway.

“Stop scaring him,” she scolded, her eyes narrowing. Marco's eyes darted between the two girls for a moment, trying to make sense of this strange situation.

“What, he's new.” the girl named Janna defended, raising her arms innocently, all traces of malice gone from her voice. “It's my job to scare him.”

The other girl sighed, before walking over and helping Marco to his feet. “Sorry about that, dude. Janna's bark is worse than her bite.”

“Wait, she was gonna bite me!” Marco panicked, quickly covering his neck with his hands.

The light-haired girl gave him a skeptic look, while Janna rolled her eyes at the boy's naivety. “Nah, the fangs are totally fake...” Janna reassured, her voice attempting to sound soothing, despite the fact it did nothing to assure Marco in the slightest. “Unless you don't want them to be,” Janna added, waving her eyebrows at the confused boy, who took a step back so he now had the light-headed girl between him and the strange one.

“Ignore her,” the other girl said, putting a hand on Marco's shoulder drawing his attention. She gave him a soothing smile, her eyes bright with cool enthusiasm. “I'm Jackie by the way. Jackie Lynn Thomas.” She extended her hand to Marco, who eyed it for a moment before remembering that that was how you greeted people here. He shook her hand, returning the smile, though not as confident as Jackie's.

“Marco,” he said, keeping an eye on the fanged girl out of the corner of his eye. But she seemed distracted, as she had pulled out a small, rectangular device from her pocket, which she kept poking and staring at, the small screen lighting up her face. So, Marco shifted his attention back to his “rescuer”. He cocked his head to the side, noticing something off about the girl.

“You don't have any cheek marks,” he said, pointing at her face. And it was true, though the girl's face was coated in tiny freckles, there was no sign of any special markings anywhere on her. But she didn't seemed fazed by Marco's statement, keeping a cool smile on her speckled face.

“Oh, that's because I'm human,” she responded, nonchalantly.

“Human?” Marco, repeated, the word sounding weird on his tongue.

Jackie laughed at the thoughtful look on the boy's face, before explaining, “I'm from Earth.”

“Ohhhh,” Marco said, remembering hearing about Mewni's closest allied dimension, the monsters often whispering about it when they thought Marco wasn't listening. He had questioned Buff Frog about it and he had explained that Earth and Mewni shared a long personal history with each other. They hadn't started off as allies, apparently, as Mewnian's magical capabilities made them appear far superior to the magicless Earthlings, putting bad blood between the two cultures. At one point, Mewni had attempted to take over the backwards planet, but had been surprised by the Earthlings strong will and heavy advancements in technology, none of them able to trully defeat the stubborn humans. So they had ended the fighting, becoming two united worlds, providing and trading with one another, their two worlds opening up their borders to each other, travel between the two dimensions frequent. Though Mewni still leaned heavily on its magic and Earth its science, the two had no doubt influenced one another's way of life. Or so Buff Frog had said.

“Oh, good Marco, your up,” came a voice from the doorway and he turned to see Star, smiling happily at them.

“Hey there, Star,” Jackie said.

“'Sup,” Janna said in a monotone, her face still buried in her device.

“Oh and you've met Jackie and Janna, too,” she said, clapping her hands together in joy. Then she looked to Janna before saying, in a meaningful way, “I hope they behaved themselves.”

Janna looked up from her phone, to see Star and Jackie glaring at her, while Marco kept a frightened eye on her, keeping his distance.

“Hey, that is behaved for me,” she responded with a shrug, making Jackie sigh.

“Yeah, she's kinda right,” Jackie agreed.

Star shook her head, before the smile returned once again. “Well as long as it all worked out,” she said, the grin never leaving her face and Marco couldn't help but notice that there seemed something off about it now. “Marco's going to be staying with us for a while so I want you two to be on your best behavior and make him feel welcome, okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jackie said, having heard a similar conversation with one of Star's servants not an hour ago, when she had been informed a new orphan was in the castle.

“So, Star,” Janna said, putting an arm around the princess. “Where'd you meet mister observant over there?” She gestured over to where Marco stood and they all followed her gaze. Marco seeing all the attention now in his direction, turned to see who it was they were talking about, only to find himself staring at nothing.

Star smiled at his cuteness, before turning to her beanie-wearing friend. “We met this morning... while I was, ummm,” she drifted off into silence, biting her bottom lip as she tried to think of a good excuse.

“She was using magic!” Marco exclaimed, sounding super excited as he remembered the impressive display from that morning. Star felt her cheeks glow red as Jackie and Janna's stares burned into her skin, not daring to look either of them in the eye.

“Magic practice, again?” Jackie said with a encouraging smile. “That's awesome! Good for you, Star!”

“Did you at least burn another house down like last time?” Janna said, with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“No, no,” Star stammered, her voice a shy whisper, still feeling nervous as her secret became common knowledge among her two closest friends. “I did it out in the forest this time, where no one could see?”

“Aww, lame,” Janna huffed in disappointment. “What's the point if nothing gets destroyed?”

“Well she did destroy a lot of trees,” Marco pointed out, before ducking behind Jackie again as Janna's focus came to rest on him.

“Okay, can we quit talking about it now?!” Star exclaimed, her whole face flushed with embarrassment, as she pleaded with her friends to please drop the subject.

Janna shut her mouth, seeing Star in obvious distress, her normally cool confidence fading as she realized she had gone too far this time and she had no idea how to fix her mistake. Marco felt guilt gnaw at him, as he saw how upset Star clearly was over this. He couldn't help but beat himself up for upsetting the girl who had been so nice to him. Jackie, however, put a comforting hand on Star's shoulder. “Hey, there's no need to be ashamed, Star. Everyone knows your new to the wand, no one expects you to get it, right away,” she said in a comforting tone.

Star let out a breath, all of her stress melting off of her. She knew what Jackie was saying was true. She had only had the wand for a little over a month, but it still unnerved her to know that she hadn't fully mastered control of it yet. Her mother had assured her that it would take time, but Star felt impatient. The people of Mewni looked up to her and needed to see her as a strong leader who would carry them forward in this dark time, not some happy-go-lucky teenager who couldn't use her wand without unwantingly setting something on fire.

“Your right, thanks Jackie,” she said, with a thankful smile. Jackie gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, before releasing her hold on the blond.

“No problem.”

Star, seemed to relax, her smile returning as she turned to Marco, walking over and grabbing his hand, the boy's face instantly turning red. “All right, come on Marco, we're off for town,” she said with a cute smile. Behind her, Jackie and Janna shared a look as they watched the two teen's interactions, their critical eyes not missing Marco's blushing face or Star's shimmering eyes.

“We are?” Marco asked, his brain suddenly having trouble functioning due to Star's soft hands wrapped around his own.

“You guys are going to town,” Jackie asked in confusion. “Don't you have other business to attend to? Like I don't know, running Mewni.”

Star turned to Jackie, her face in shock as she seemed to remember that there were still other people in the room besides Marco. But she recovered quickly, responding, “Well, yes, but it can wait. Since Marco is going to be staying with us he's going to need some essentials.”

“Can't you just ask one of the servants to do it?” Janna skeptically asked with crossed arms.

Star thought for a moment before answering. “Well I guess I could, but Marco's well-being is at the top of my list and I have to make sure our new guest has everything he needs to be comfortable.”

Janna huffed. “What a waste of royal power.”

“So wait, what exactly are we doing?” Marco asked, looking around at the three girls for conformation.

Star turned to him with an excited look on her face. “The best thing in the world...” Star exclaimed, her voice as dramatic as possible, before she quickly pumped a fist int the air and yelled at the top of her lungs, “Shopping!!”

…

Marco looked around the bustling streets of Mewni in a silent awe, admiring all the sights that the town had to offer. Star walked silently beside him, smiling to herself at Marco's giddiness, his head turning this way and that as every little movement caught the boy's wandering eye, barely able to keep himself walking straight. Behind the two were Star's escorts, their arms loaded to the brim with boxes and packages of the already purchased items, the containers reaching so high that they towered over the burly men, who were unable to be recognized from beneath the wrapped gifts. It may have looked like over-kill but Star was satisfied with her purchases, happy to be spoiling the boy who had been through so much trauma. In her opinion, he deserved every bit of money spent on him, even if the rest of Mewni wouldn't agree.

Marco had been instantly hooked on the shopping spree, picking out item after item, his adorable grin never leaving his face. Star had just smiled and handed over the money, ignoring the often skeptical looks of her critical valet, letting the boy enjoy his taste of freedom for as long as he wanted.

But now it seemed their little spree was ending, as they made their way back toward the castle, with a satisfying bundle of essentials for Marco's stay. The boy looked around him, taking in the sights when something red flashed across his vision, making him stop in his tracks.

Star didn't notice as she continued on ahead, her sights of the towering walls of her home, chatting happily to the boy she believed to still be beside her. “So looks like you got everything you got everything you wanted, huh?” She turned only to see a blank, empty space where her new friend had once been. “Marco?” she asked in confusion, looking around for the missing boy.

She spotted him a little ways off, looking in the window of a little shop, his eyes shining with wonder, mesmerized with whatever fantastic sight had caught his eye. Star walked over to him, quickly reading the sign hanging above the store: “Quest Buy Mini-mall”.

Star came up beside Marco, the boy not even acknowledging her presence, still caught in his vegetated stupor. She looked into the little promotional window for any signs of what it was that had captured Marco's attention so much, hoping there wasn't any real hypnotic devices involved, forcing  hypnotized customers to buy their most expensive item. That was illegal now after all.

But as far as she could tell there was no foal play involved as she asked curiously, “See anything you like?”

Marco didn't even look at her as he nodded, pressing his index finger up against the glass, whispering softly, “What's that?”

Star followed his pointing finger, seeing the object of his affection: a hoodie. Just a plain, red hoodie. Star looked at it carefully, sizing it up quickly. Though it seemed plain at first, it's bright red color immediately caught your eye, its simple beauty appealing to even the most cryptic eye. Even amongst the most fantastic sights from an untold number of dimensions the hoodie held it own, embracing its plainness, giving it a simple, yet pleasing look. Star could tell instantly that the hoodie would look great on the boy.

“That's a hoodie,” Star explained to him. “It's an Earth clothing.”

Marco's eyes seemed to grow even wider as he continued to stare at it as if it were some kind of unknown treasure. It seemed to be love at first sight. Star held back a smile as she offered Marco her hand. “Wanna try it on?” she asked and he seemed thrilled, finally turning to her with shining eyes.

“Can I?” Marco asked in awe, taking her hand in his own.

“Of course,” she said, leading him over to the entrance, opening the door with her free hand.

The little bell over the door rang and the store manager, a sloth, let out an irritated sigh. They had just finished their afternoon rush and things had finally settled down enough for him to relax and enjoy a little peace. But of course, the seemed too good to be true. He looked up from his magazine to see two teenagers entering the store, hand in hand, gazing around in intrigue at the various wares and items that had been collected from many different dimensions. Great just what he needed... tourists.

The manager cleared his throat, waiting for the two to respond, but they just continued to browse the items in curious silence. He sighed in annoyance, before clearing his throat again, louder than before, this time managing to capture the two's attention as they turned to him in surprise. He set the magazine down, giving the two a blank stare. “Can I help you?”

The blond girl stepped forward, smiling at the sloth softly. “My friend here would like to try on one of your red hoodies, please?” she said, gesturing to the window.

The sloth manager blinked in unamusement, trying to hold back another sigh. “What size would that be, miss?”

“Oh,” Star gasped in surprise, turning to Marco with a questioning gaze. He shrugged and she bit her lip, turning to back to the manager. “Umm, we're not really sure,” she said hesitantly. “Maybe we could... try some on?”

The manager sighed, unable to catch himself in time, as he stood up from his desk, walking slowly over to a pile of paperwork and files, just underneath his desk. He slowly sorted through the files, as Star and Marco leaned over the counter-top curiously, watching the sloth at work. Finally, he found the right one, pulling it out, squinting at the tiny lettering. He looked over at the two still bent over the counter, who gave him curious looks. He walked over to them, saying in an irritated manner, “The hoodies are located off to your left in clothing.” He gestured in the direction with a clawed finger. “Right under Earth fashion.”

“Aren't you going to help us?” Marco asked and the sloth gave him a dead-panned stare.

Star began pushing Marco off in the direction of clothing, giving the sloth a sheepish smile, quickly saying, “Thank you!”

The sloth watched the two go, before picking up his magazine once again, scoffing to himself. “Tourists.”

…

Marco skipped happily in front of Star as they approached the castle gates, Marco decked out in his new hoodie. Star's escorts walked behind the two, a respectful distance away, still holding the boxes from the long shopping trip. Marco seemed blissfully unaware of the world turning, humming softly to himself as he walked, his eyes bright and shining with wonder. Star just seemed content, her face peaceful.

The two guards watched them approach, Jak elbowing his companion. “Hey, check it out, Dex, it's the princess,” he whispered out of the corner of his mouth.

Dex sighed. “Yeah, I can see that,” he said, putting a hand to his face.

“What do you think she was doing in town, again?” Jak continued, staring quizzically at their future ruler.

“Well if I had to take a guess, I'd probably say she's been shopping,” Dex said, with obvious sarcasm.

“Huh,” Jak said, cocking his head to the side. “Yeah, I can see it.” Dex face-palmed, just as the princess finished her approach to the gates.

“Hey guys,” Star said, stopping in front of them and they immediately bowed in respect as their princess addressed them. “Welcome back, Your Highness,” they said in unison and Star gave them a grin. “You can drop the whole 'Your Highness' bit. Just Star is fine.”

“Unlikely, Your Highness,” Dex said and Jak nodded, both keeping their heads bowed.

Star sighed. “Worth a try,” she whispered, more to herself than to the others. She turned to Marco who was still admiring his hoodie and had yet to notice they had arrived at the castle. “Come on, Marco.”

Marco turned to her and quickly ran to catch up, as Star walked past the bowing guards, the gates now open wide to provide entry. The boy walked past the two guards, not nearly as nervous as before, his mind still on his new fashion trend. “Nice hoodie,” Jak said to the boy, who gave him confident smile.

“Thanks,” he said, before running after Star. The two watched as the princess, the hooded boy, and her entourage entered the castle together, before turning to each other once again. “Well he seemed completely different,” Jak said, unable to believe the shy, shaking boy from that morning was now the confident, if not absent minded, boy that they had just seen.

“Well, that's our princess for you,” Dex said, smiling to himself. “Bringing out the best in people.”

“Yeah,” Jak agreed. There was a short moment of silence, before Jak suddenly asked, “Did she seem different to you?”

“What do you mean?” Dex asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I don't know she just seemed... happier.”

“It's probably just your imagination,” Dex said, looking back out at the road in front of them, standing at attention once again. Jak thought for a moment, looking back at the castle doors, still remaining shut, before he turned his attention back to the road as well, hesitantly whispering, “Yeah, your probably right.”

…

The moment the two friends entered the castle, Star was whisked away by some important looking figures questioning where she had been and listing off the many tasks she still had to perform before the day was over. Marco seemed uncomfortable as he was quickly brushed aside and his new friend was dragged away. But Star didn't seem put off, simply following them in silence, her face blank. She turned back to Marco giving him a smile and a wave, which he returned.

He waited until the group was out of sight, before turning on his heels and heading off for his room. “Um, sir?” Marco turned to the guards that up until now he had forgotten had been there. “Your room is that way,” one of them said, gesturing to the opposite hallway. Marco gave a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “Umm, maybe you better lead the way,” he said awkwardly  and the guards nodded, walking resolutely down the hallway, Marco following close behind.

The guard's dropped the boxes in Marco's room as some more servants, maids, quickly unpacked his things, finding everything a home and tidying up the nearly spotless room. Marco just watched in silence, sitting down on his bed, until some of the maids gave him a glare, shooing him away so they could put on his new sheets.

The servants worked fast and efficiently, while Marco just stood in the middle of his room awkwardly, waiting for them to finish. And as quickly as they had entered, they departed, bowing low to the ground as they left. Marco heard the door slam shut behind him as he took in his new living space. Everything had been organized and cleaned, all of his new things, put neatly in their selected places. Marco was impressed with their work as he walked over to his bed, running his hands along the soft, red sheets, a content smile on his face. He looked over his new bookcase and inspected every drawer in his dresser and desk, looking over each new item with curiosity.

Finally, he looked in his closet, his eyes widening immensely as they came to rest on the eleven identical red hoodies hanging neatly in his closet. He felt tears in his eyes as he looked at the small little treasure trove, touched by Star's kindness. Toffee had never treated him this kindly and Buff Frog had always done his best, but Toffee was quick to shoot down any attempt his father might have had to spoil him. Star had done so much for him in just the short time he had known her and Marco suddenly felt a burning desire to do something for her, something to thank her for all she had done for him. But what? He hadn't known her for all that long (for less than a day, actually) and knew literally nothing about what it was she liked or would want.

Marco thought for a moment, before remembering there were two people Marco knew who would have a good idea of what it was Star would like.

…

“Janna have you seen my skateboard?” Jackie asked her friend and roommate as she dug around in her closet. Janna, who was sitting comfortably on her bed, quickly replied, “Nope,” her head remaining buried in her book on 19th Century Earth poetry. Jackie sat up from her messy closet, putting her hands on her hips. “Well where could it have gone, then?”

“Not a clue,” Janna replied, with a bored tone, as she flipped to the next page of her book.

Jackie gave her a knowing look. “You know, I seem to remember someone asking to borrow my skateboard the other day.”

“I remember someone saying no,” Janna replied, emotionlessly. Jackie opened her mouth to retort until there was a soft knock at the door. She turned to Janna with a glare. “We'll discuss this later,” she said, standing.

Janna shrugged, whispering, “Whatever,” her eyes never leaving her book. Jackie opened the door and smiled eagerly seeing the face of their new house guest.

“Marco, hey!” she greeted, cheerfully.

“Hi,” Marco said, shyly, giving a tiny wave.

“Come in,” Jackie said, standing aside and opening the door wider so the boy could pass inside more easily.

“Thanks,” Marco said, stepping inside, looking around the room. It was larger than his own, but then that made sense considering that the two roomed together, the room literally split in half, with two beds, closets, and so on. But the differences in the two's personalities couldn't be more apparent, one side reflecting Janna's love of all things creepy and disturbing and Jackie's side reflecting her love of sports.

“Nice hoodie.” Marco turned to see Janna staring at him and he gave her an uncomfortable smile, still slightly frightened of the girl.

“Oh yeah,” Jackie said, just noticing his change in wardrobe. “It looks good on you, Marco.”

Marco looked proud at their praise, a confident smile spreading on his lips. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, it looks 'blood' red,” Janna said with a mysterious tint to her voice and Marco's smile vanished, looking frightened once again.

Jackie put a hand on his shoulder, rolling her eyes and giving him a reassuring smile. “So, what did you come here to tell us, Marco?” Jackie asked.

“Oh, umm,” Marco said, still staring at Janna suspiciously, before shaking his head so he could focus once again. “I wanted to ask your help with something.”

“What's that?” Jackie said, slightly confused. Marco took a deep breath before quickly blurting his answer as fast as he could, the words just tumbling out without his control.

“Well, Star was really nice getting me all these things, like the hoodies and the bed sheets and everything, and I just wanted to make it up to her so I thought I could get her something. But I don't know what she likes and I was hoping maybe you could help me because you know her better than I do.” He took a few deep breaths, trying to regain his air supply as Jackie and Janna just stared at him in shock.

The two shared a look really quick, before Jackie asked, “You really want to get her something?” Marco nodded vigorously, before going off on a tangent once again.

“Yeah. She's just been so sweet and everything. She's so nice and funny and pretty and-” Marco's voice cut off as his cheeks turned bright red. He looked down at the floor, a distant look on his face. His eyes seemed to shine as he thought of the girl. Jackie studied his face carefully for a moment, taking in the look of hidden joy on his face. She thought it over, this boy was new but he seemed well-meaning, his naivety making it hard to say no. Still, Star had become a pretty private person recently and she wasn't sure how she would react if Jackie gave Marco the gift she had in mind. But, Jackie also knew that the fact that Star was acting like such a private person meant that she was upset about something, something she had yet to tell her or Janna, her two closest friends. She suspected it had to do with all the new pressures that had just been thrown on her, but until Star talked about it, she had no way of knowing.

Plus, she couldn't stop thinking about that smile she had given Marco earlier that afternoon. She had seemed genuinely happy, more so than Jackie had seen her in, well, years. For whatever reason, Marco seemed to bring out the best in Star and he might just be what Jackie had been looking for.

Finally, she took a deep breath, before she said, “Well there is one thing.” Janna gave her a suspicious look, which Jackie ignored keeping her eyes on Marco. The boy didn't notice this little exchange, though, smiling excitedly at the idea of accomplishing his goals. “Really? What?!” he exclaimed.

Jackie, ignoring the look her roommate continued to give her, walking over to her bed and reached underneath pulling out a small, white box from underneath. It was coated in dust and it looked to Marco like it hadn't been disturbed for several years. Jackie carried the box over to her desk, carefully wiping the object clean.

Marco came up beside the girl, looking at the box intensely. Jackie slowly lifted the lid and Marco squinted, trying to stare inside at the box's contents. The box was more or less empty except for a small headband, that barely took up half of the box's space. The hairband was red with two little spikes looking like horns sticking up at the top. Marco examined the object curiously, tilting his head to the side. “A headband?” Marco questioned.

“Yep,” Jackie said. “It used to belong to Star. But she stopped wearing it a few years ago. So rather than letting her throw it out, I kept it. Thought she might like it back someday.” Her voice grew soft at the end, but Marco didn't notice, his focus on nothing but the small, little headpiece.

“And you're sure she'll like it?” he asked, turning to Jackie for conformation.

“Positive,” she said with a confident nod. That was good enough for Marco.

“Okay, so what do I wrap it with?” he asked, looking around the room for supplies.

“Got you covered!” Marco and Jackie looked to see Janna over by Jackie's closet, smiling with a mischievous grin. Before the two could question her methods she tapped the side of the closet and a secret compartment opened up, reveling a hidden stash within. The two walked over, looking inside Janna's hideaway, all manors of things scattered and strewn about within. Marco's eyes shined with wonder as they came to rest on the colorful wrapping paper and ribbon.

“Thanks!” he screamed in excitement, grabbing the paper and running over to the box. Jackie, however, gazed into her closet in horror.

“Janna, what is all this stuff?” she said in a questioning tone.

Janna shrugged, smugly replying, “Just some stuff I found.”

“Janna you didn't!” Jackie groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“What?!” Janna exclaimed defensively, crossing her arms. “Not like anyone was using this stuff. It was all just... lying around.”

“Is that my skateboard?!” Jackie screamed, pointing out her most valuable possession half-buried beneath Janna's junk.

“Oops, how did that get in there?” Janna said, deep in thought.

“Janna!”

“What?! Technically it's still in your closet.”

“Oh my gosh! Why is all this stuff in my closet?!”

“Cause I ran out of room in mine, duh.”

“Umm, guys.” The two friends stopped their argument turning to the boy. He was wrapped completely head to toe in the colorful red ribbon, his arms suspended above his head, his body twisted at a weird angel. He looked at them with a fearful look, quickly squeaking, “Help!”

…

Star let out a deep sigh, rubbing her sore shoulder softly. She had been signing piles and piles of paperwork for hours, having lost feeling in her hand hours ago. She held her shoes in loosely in her less-sore hand, letting her aching feet rest for a moment as she quietly made her way back to her room. It was now late night and she was eager to get changed and go check on Marco. She hadn't even been able to go and see how he was settling in, which annoyed her to no end. Her thoughts had been on the boy all day, distracting her and making her want to see him even more. But, as always, there was always more work for her to do.

“A princess' job is never done,” she murmured, opening the door to her room, flinging her shoes in the general direction of her closet, too tired to see if they made it in. She stretched, walking over to the small couch in her bedroom, and collapsing onto it with a tired sigh. She let her body relax, closing her eyes and just enjoying the peaceful moment, letting out a content sigh as the world seemed to right itself once again. Slowly, unbeknownst to Star, a shadow grew over her face, as a figure rose from behind the couch, eyes trained on the resting girl.

“Hey Star!” Marco screamed with excitement and Star screamed, immediately jumping up so she was now standing on the couch, trying to get a hold of her wand. She fumbled around with it for a few seconds, before holding it straight out, pointed at the source of her fright. Marco froze, hands raised, looking at Star in shock.

“Marco?” Star said, her angry frown quickly switching to confusion as she realized it was the hooded boy in front of her and not some monster.

“Hey,” the boy said with a wave, still frozen in shock. Star let out a relieved sigh, dropping her wand to her side and putting a hand over her pounding heart.

“Don't scare me like that,” she gasped out.

“Sorry,” Marco apologized sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, keeping a hand behind his back. “I guess I just got carried away.”

Star sat back down on the couch, relaxing once again. “It's okay. So what brings you to my room?” she said with a smile, patting the seat beside her.

“I got you something,” Marco said, moving so he could sit next to her, careful to keep the package out of her sight. Suddenly, he thrust the present out from behind his back and into her hands. “Tada!” he exclaimed, with a wide flourish, giving her the widest smile he could manage.

Star looked at the box with surprise. It was wrapped in pretty, purple paper with a thick red ribbon tied neatly around it and Star could tell that Marco had put a lot of time and detail in making it look just right. “What's this?” she asked, turning the gift over in her hands.

“I got you a present, as a way to say thank you for everything you've done!” Marco explained.

“Oh, Marco,” Star said, giving him a sympathetic look. “You didn't have to do that.”

“But I wanted to,” Marco argued, his face looking so plain and innocent as he smiled at her.

Star smiled back, touched by his thoughtfulness. Marco, quickly losing patience, looked back and forth between Star and the gift eagerly. “Sooo... are you gonna open it?” he asked impatiently, slowly leaning closer.

Star laughed. “Ok, ok. Here we go,” she said, carefully removing the red ribbon from around the box's frame. Marco watched with a held breath as she ripped off the paper, slowly removing the lid from the now plain box. She froze staring in at the box's sole item, her face unreadable. Marco's shining eyes jumped back and forth between his friend and her old headband, waiting for a reaction, his every nerve trained on Star's face. Her hand slowly reached into the box, pulling out the red devil-horned headband that had once belonged to her. She stared at the small object in her palm with wide eyes. “Oh, Marco,” she breathed, unable to finish the sentence, her voice drifting off into silence. Tears slowly welled up at the very edge of her eyes and Marco felt his heart drop at the sight of her crying, his happy grin vanishing in a flash.

“Oh, no,” he groaned, making Star turn to him in shock. “You don't like it.” Marco's voice was the saddest thing Star had ever heard, his normally cute face morphing to one of pure depression.

“I'm sorry,” he continued, reaching a hand out to take the present away. “I'll just... take that back and-”

“Thank you.”

Marco froze looking at Star in confusion. “What?”

“Thank you, Marco,” she whispered, her voice chocked up, but there was a soft smile on her face, her glossy eyes shining with gratitude.

“So you don't... hate it?” Marco asked, hesitantly.

Star let out a small laugh, wiping the tears from her eyes. “No, I love it,” she said, putting a hand to her heart. Marco's smile returned and Star couldn't help but feel better just from seeing it. And she found she couldn't resist it anymore. Just as suddenly as before, she wrapped her arms around him, drawing him into a hug. He froze, as her shaky breath tickled his neck. “Thank you so much, Marco,” she whispered again, tightening her hold on him.

He finally managed to respond, bringing his own arms around her small frame, burying his head in her neck. And as he enveloped himself in Star's warmth he realized how truly glad he was to be there with Star. Life on Mewni was complicated and sometimes confusing, but it seemed like it was gonna be nice. Especially with Star. He felt some new, unknown emotion every time he was around her and although he didn't know what it was yet, he would do whatever it took to learn more. “Your welcome... Star.”

The door to Star's room, which had been cracked open, slowly closed making a barely audible click as the two peepers turning to each other with knowing looks. “See I told you,” Jackie said to her friend. “Did you see the way she looked at him?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Janna said with a dismissive wave. “Anyone could tell those two have a thing for each other.” She leaned against the wall. “I give it a week, before our dear princess has herself a new boyfriend.”

“Come on, Janna,” Jackie said with an eye roll. “Be realistic. Star isn't super open to people like she used to be. I'd give it a month at the least. Probably more.”

Janna huffed. “Coming from the girl who practically pushed those two together. I mean, Star's old headband, really? We both agreed we'd give that to her together and then you just fling it into Mr. Naive's hands. Subtle.”

Jackie frowned. “Okay, okay. I'm sorry. It's just... I think he's what we've been looking for. I think he's gonna be good for her. That's the happiest I've seen her in so long.”

Janna raised an eyebrow at her friend and Jackie quickly added, “All right, how about this? I bet you twenty dollars that Star and Marco will end up together completely on their own in no more than three months, with no outside influence from either of us.”

“Your on,” Janna said, pulling away from the wall so she was now standing face to face with Jackie. “One month or less and those two are smacking face, guarantee it.”

“We'll see,” Jackie said holding out her hand to Janna, who shook it firmly, the two with an equally mischievous smirk. Finally, their handshake broke, as they walked off for their room again.

Janna let out a small chuckle. “Easiest twenty bucks I ever made.”

[the-walking-memelords]

Allegiances: Chapter 18

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 |Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 19 

Series is rated M

Word Count: 3911

The school never seemed so far away.

Read it on Ao3!

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As the sun rose, turning the dark blue sky to shades of soft orange and gold and the fluffy clouds pink and blue like cotton candy, Clementine’s future crumbled before her, the debris crashing down on her. Her ribcage felt as if it was squeezing every bit of air from her lungs, leaving her gasping as she stared at her mangled leg.

The life she had been building had been suddenly snatched from her grasp. Dying along with everything else in this godforsaken world. Dying like she was now dying.

Dying.

Forced to now leave them all behind.

With one single bite, her lifespan depleted from potential years to mere hours.

This can’t be happening.

She gripped the torn material tightly, resisting the desperate urge to claw the bite from her flesh as if it would somehow save her.

It didn’t save Lee.

“C-Clem?” She suddenly remembered the little boy who sat shaking next to her, tears welling in his eyes.

“Please don’t leave again. I-I-I just got you back you can’t leave me again!”

“AJ…” Clementine didn’t know what to say. They both knew what would happen now.

Her eyes stung with tears and she pulled him close so that he wouldn't see them fall. The boy sniffled and shook as he clung to her denim jacket while Clem squeezed him tight as the tears silently slid down her face, the anguish felt between both of them unbearable.

No time to cry now, Clementine.

You still have a job to do.

“AJ, look at me.” She held his shoulders. Seeing his cheeks glisten with tears broke her heart, especially that he was crying over her.

“We need to get you back to the school. The people there will take care of you. You’ll be safe. I promise.”

“But what about you? You always said we’d escape together.”

Clementine knew how hard it was to start over alone with a bunch of strangers, but she knew he’d be okay with them. She knew they would look out for him. She knew Louis would protect him.

Louis…

Did he even make it out? Did Tenn? All she could do was hope they’d be there when they got back.

If she made it back.

Just let me say goodbye…

That’s all I want…

“We don’t have time, AJ.” She positioned the axe to give herself leverage as she attempted to stand, her leg screaming in protest. Louis said they wouldn’t be far from the school, right? They just had to keep moving forward.

“Push on… Fight on... Look forward…”

Clementine fell to her knees as her leg refused to hold her weight, her body heavy and slow, weak from blood-loss. She pressed her forehead to the end of the wooden handle, mustering the strength for another attempt.

“Never back.” AJ finished the mantra for her. He looked to her with a steely gaze to fight his tears. They both knew neither of them could fall apart right here.

“That’s right.”

Clementine forced herself to her feet once again, her head beginning to feel foggy as she began to march along one step at a time. She leaned her weight against the axe, using it as a makeshift walking stick.

---

They followed the path with AJ taking the front. Though she couldn't see his face, she could hear him sniffling every now and then.

"Just don't think about it right now." She didn't need to be psychic to read his mind right now.

"Just think about something else. Anything."

“What are the other kids like?” He asked nervously.

“They’re good people. They look out for each other. They’ll look out for you too.” She assured.

“They forgave me when they found out about the Delta. Trusted me to help them bring everyone home. They’re… a family. A real one. And they wanted us to be a part of that family.”

“Me?” AJ asked in confusion.

“But they don’t know me. How do they know I’m not bad?”

“Because they know me and they know how much I care about you.” And all the lengths she’d go to protect him.

“That’s good enough for them.”

The boy still seemed unsure and saddened. There really wasn’t a way to dance around the topic without the constant reminder that there would soon be someone else taking care of him.

“There’s nine of them. Most of them are closer to my age but Tenn and Willy are a bit closer to yours.”

Clementine continued to describe the members of the boarding school.

“Violet was the blonde girl that got taken. She’s really strong and fierce. Protects the group.”

I hope she won't take out what I’ve done on AJ.

“Brody was the other girl. She’s been through a lot since the first time the Delta came after them, but things are going to get better now.”

Now she can finally start to heal.

“Mitch is smarter than anyone gives him credit for. He’s the one who made the bomb that took out the boat, and had the guts to go toe-to-toe with Dorian.”

He stuck up for Louis, I hope I get to thank him for that.

“Omar is a really good cook. The food is way better than what the Delta gave us, or, what they gave me at least.”

Hot meals every day for the rest of AJ’s life.

“Tenn and Willy are the youngest ones. Tenn is really smart and he loves to draw, like you. Willy is a bit of a troublemaker, which is a given since Mitch practically raised him, but he’s a good kid.”

They’re both good kids. I hope they have the chance to be kids for a while longer.

“Aasim is an expert hunter. He makes sure everyone has enough to eat and will do whatever it takes to get food on the table. He also has this diary thing he calls his ‘History Book’ where he writes down things that happen at the school.”

He’ll have one hell of a story to tell about all this.

“Ruby is really sweet and looks out for everyone, especially the kids. She’s the doctor of the group and she’ll help you if you get hurt.”

She’d be willing to help him if he got sick, unlike The New Frontier’s doctor.

“And then, of course, there’s Louis…” Clementine felt a sudden pang of guilt.

“Louis is the sweetest person I’ve ever met.”

I’m so sorry…

“He’s really funny, makes everyone laugh.”

We were going to build that house together.

“He loves music, he sings and plays the piano. He could teach you how.”

We were going to be a family… the three of us.

“He taught me how to live, not just survive.”

He taught me how to love as well.

“Is Louis your favourite? You sound like you like him more than you like the other people.”

Clementine nearly choked on air.

“Uh… yeah, he’s uh, my favourite.” Clementine managed to chuckle through the despair.

“He’s going to look after you when I’m gone.”

Clem's pace slowing more and more as they travelled. She moved as fast as she could to keep up with him but her body began to betray her already. AJ's pace began to slow as well until he walked by her side, taking her hand as he squeezed her fingers.

"I'm sorry I lost your hat." He said with a tone of shame, unable to look up at the older girl.

“I know I was supposed to protect it for you but I lost it and now it’s gone.”

Clementine had grown used to not having it with her. Yet still, watching it fall into that pit of walkers felt for a moment like losing her parents to the walkers all over again. That hat had seen about as much death and torment as she had, maybe now it would be able to rest as she soon would be able to as well.

“AJ, it doesn’t matter.” She said as he finally met her gaze.

“My hat meant a lot to me, sure. But it was just a thing. You’re more important than a smelly old baseball cap.”

“I love you, Clem.”

“I love you back, kiddo.” She wanted to stop for just a moment. Just a moment to enjoy the time spent with him.

Peace.

Peace.

She fought so hard for it all she wanted was to feel it for one goddamn second.

Her steps became clumsier and heavier. Whether it was from blood loss or infection she didn’t know and didn’t really care. Her left boot squelched with each step, her foot sticky with her own blood.

“I-It’s… It’s not that far.” She stuttered out through her rapid yet laboured breathing. Telling both AJ and herself.

“Wait.” AJ halted in place, gripping his pistol tighter.

“Something’s here.”

Clementine stopped, the axe barely holding her up. She tried to listen, to sense what he sensed, but the ever growing fog in her mind made it difficult to concentrate.

The sound of bodies clumsily meandering through the trees slowly came into focus too slow for them to avoid the threat of being quickly surrounded.

Why are there so many this far from the ship?

The path around her seemed familiar as she spotted the dilapidated frame of James’ barn peeking out from within the trees. She knew it could keep walkers in, but could it keep them out?

Clementine tried to run, but her leg betrayed her at the most crucial moment, sending her crashing to the ground as the herd continued to surround them.

Get up. Get up. Get up!

Clementine screamed at herself as she pushed down on the axe, her boots digging into the dirt. She let out a frustrated grunt as she willed her body to cooperate.

A body hand harshly grabbed her hood in an attempt to pull her up that was definitely not good-natured. She tried to swat it away, not having enough strength for both of the tasks at hand.

A bullet ripped through the walkers skull and slumped to the ground nearly on top of the sickly girl. If they didn't already have the herd's undivided attention, they certainly had it now.

"C'mon Clem, please!" AJ pleaded, pulling her right arm over his shoulder.

She leaned against his tiny form as they hobbled quickly towards the barn's double doors. AJ managed to not only hold her weight but shoot away the dead that got too close. Clementine couldn't believe how much he'd changed. He was still her little boy, but the amount of skill he possessed was far beyond his years.

The Delta will do that to you.

Clementine didn't so much as push the doors in as she more fell into them, sprawling into the scratchy hay as AJ slammed the doors behind them, the herd immediately on their heels. Clem leaned against the doors with all of her weight, unable to actually push. AJ helped, though the strength of a girl an inch from death and a five-year-old wouldn't be able to hold back the unfaltering wave of the dead outside.

"AJ... f-find something!" Her feet dug deep past the hay into the dirt as she desperately rammed her back against the aged wood.

"We need to... brace... the door!"

AJ frantically looked around for something sturdy to stick between the handles. Without his small amount of effort holding the doors became exponentially more difficult. She prayed there was something to find.

“Clem, I found something!” The boy pulled out a rake with a sturdy looking handle from beneath a pile of hay.

“Do it!” She yelled, feeling herself slipping forward under the pressure of the hungry dead outside.

The moment AJ shoved the rake through the handles of the door, Clementine held her breath as she slowly leaned off the door, testing the waters of whether or not it would hold. Hold it did, and Clem let out a sigh of relief before the walkers reminded her that you can’t run from death forever.

With the door sealed shut, the walkers moved on to other potential points of entry, resorting to tearing through the walls of the barn if it meant getting at the two living inside. The snarls outside grew angrier as if the dead were frustrated that the two had the audacity to lock them out.

“AJ, get out of here.” She looked up to the roof where several holes allowed the first rays of daylight pour in, illuminating their only way to salvation.

“They’re going to tear this place apart you need to go!”

“What? I can’t leave you here!” He cried, aiming his gun wildly at the walkers who tore at the wood from all directions, ripping the fragile building apart at the seams.

“I’m dead anyway!” The words felt like bile in her throat but at the same time, they felt very true.

She looked at her little boy and saw a fire in his eyes. A spark of determination that she recognized in herself whenever she participated in a fight.

“Cover me.” He nearly ordered, holding his gun out to her.

The metal felt frigid against her scorching skin. She held the heavy object with a shaking hand, trading the gun with her knife.

AJ bolted to the stall doors, metal screeching against metal as he heaved it along the rail. It slammed shut just as the walkers burst through the wall. They slammed their bodies against the sliding door but thankfully it didn’t even budge. The child ran in a zig-zag pattern, slamming closed every door as the arms of the walkers swung wildly through the bars. The snapping of wood came from every direction as the dead began to flood in. Clem watched in horror as AJ slid the final door closed, only for a bony hand to slip between the gap and force it back open.

“Get back!” Clementine screamed as she focused her aim on the walkers who entered, firing shot after shot and while some landed in the walls behind them, others sent them crashing to the ground. More entered, however, and the empty clicking of her pistol upon pulling the triggered sent a new wave of fear up her spine.

AJ looked back. As their eyes met she found her fear was not mirrored in them. His steeled bravery burned onward as he raised his knife. He went for the knee, ruining the walker’s balance and causing it to fall where its head was within reach. With one final stab, the walker was dead, but there was always more where that came from. Ducking and dodging, Clementine was amazed at his capability, dispatching of two more in the same manner with little difficulty.

What did they teach you?

How much did I miss?

Clementine sat helpless as he frantically attempted to slam the door closed once more, the track becoming blocked by a walker crawling on the ground who lunged at the boy, it’s rotting arm grabbing his foot and pulling him towards it’s snapping jaw.

AJ didn’t hesitate, plunging his knife into the walker’s skull repeatedly until it released him. Kicking it back to the other side it was finally over for now as the final door slid shut.

“G-Good job, AJ. You did it.” Clementine let out a whimper as her back hit the hay bale, leaning her head against it as she lacked the strength to hold it up any longer.

So this is the end.

All of this was unnervingly familiar

Is this how you felt, Lee?

Locked in a small space. One bitten, A child about to be left alone surrounded by the dead. She looked at AJ and saw her younger self staring back at her. A child’s eyes full of fear as their protector lay bitten and wasting away in front of them.

Clementine felt like a mere shell of the person she used to be. Her skin pale and clammy, her eyes adorned with dark circles hanging underneath. She squinted at the sunlight that peeked through the holes in the ceiling, her eyes stinging against the brightness only making the pounding in her head worse. The smell of the corpses who’s hands reached for them from between the bars made her stomach lurch. Clem resisted the urge to vomit, though she hadn’t eaten since yesterday evening she doubted there was much to come up.

“Come on.” AJ said through panting breaths, mapping a way to climb to the roof.

“The monsters can’t reach us up there. It isn’t that hard, we can do this.”

All Clementine could do was give him a hopeless look. She couldn’t even stand, how could she possibly climb?

“You have to try, Clem. Please.” The boy begged, urging her onward.

Try Clementine did, though she didn’t get far. Every movement sent a sharp ache through her joints, the ever growing pain sapped what little energy the girl had left in reserve as she slumped down back in her spot after her fruitless effort.

“You can’t give up!” AJ tugged on her arm in an attempt to raise her to her feet.

“Not now!”

“AJ, please stop.” She whimpered weakly, pulling her arm back.

“I need you.” Tears welled in his round eyes once again as the reality of what was happening sunk into them.

“You don’t need me…” Clementine dismissed. The guilt of her past failures only weighing her down more.

“All I ever did was get you into trouble. Look how well you did just now. I’m so… proud of you.”

Clementine always saw herself as a magnet for trouble, as if she was some kind of bad omen. A black cloud that emanated from her being, infecting all who crossed her path and dooming them all to pain and death.

Now it was finally catching up to her.

“My… little Goofball.”

“It’s Alvin Junior.” He said stubbornly.

“You’ll always be Goofball to me.” Clem felt a tear drip onto her hand. She hadn’t even realized she was crying.

“I’m so sorry, kiddo. This is just what happens sometimes.”

“But it wasn’t supposed to happen to you.” The tone in his voice broke her heart. She didn’t want to leave him. She would give anything to stay and watch him grow up like she promised so many.

“AJ, look at me.” She urged the boy to come closer which he obliged, kneeling next to her with his hands in his lap and his head hung low.

“You’re such a cutie, how did I get so lucky?” She placed her hand on his cheek, raising his head to see his face. She smiled although he wore a mournful expression.

She took her hand and quickly booped him on the nose, a tactic that before when he was younger would send him into a fit of giggles. She let out a small laugh even though her weak attempt to cheer him up even a little failed.

“Please don’t be silly right now.”

“I just wanted to see you smile.” Clementine let out a shaky breath as more tears slid down her pale cheeks.

“Just… one more smile, before I go?”

Through the tears that fell down his face, the boy was able to manage a small smile. He was only able to force it for a moment before it faltered, falling back into the gloom.

“Lovely.” Her voice struggled to remain above a whisper.

“AJ, I need to know you remember… the things I taught you… the rules.”

Their rules hadn’t warranted much use over the past few years, but still, just like Lee, she never stopped teaching. Teaching him the rules he would need to follow upon their eventual escape, though she had hoped she would have more time to guide him.

“What’s rule number one?”

“Never… Never go alone.” He stammered.

“Which is why I can’t leave you here!”

“AJ…”

“It’s your rule!”

“You won’t be alone… not for long.” The others would take care of him.

“You just have to get back to the school.”

“I don’t know where it is.” He argued.

“It’s easy, it’s just West of here. So keep the sun at your back, and let your shadow lead the way.” The school wasn’t far. He could make it. She knew he would.

“Remember the first thing I taught you? You need to make sure they can’t smell you.”

She waved her hand in the direction of the rotting corpses that laid fully dead in front of them. She cringed as AJ swung the axe down on the walker’s torso, sticking his hands inside and rubbing the disgusting red all over his clothes and face.

“Now, what’s rule number two? What do we do when the monsters come?”

“We shoot ‘em in the head.”

Clementine looked almost disgusted at the silver pistol she held weakly in her hand, the clip emptied into the walkers that laid around them.

“Got any ammo?” She croaked, her throat drying up.

“No, it’s all gone.”

“Fuck.” Clementine pronounced in mild horror as she looked at the axe.

“And�� the last rule?”

“Clem, no… I-I want to stay here, with you.” AJ cried as he gripped the axe in his small hands.

“I know what will happen, and I don’t care. You always said we’d get out together, but if I leave then that won’t really happen! But if I stay… then we can stay together, just, a different ‘together.’”

What was he saying? He’d rather turn? Clementine couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Not a chance, kid. I’ve got a job for you.” Clementine’s dismal gaze hardened as she forced out the words.

“I need you to go to the school, sleep in a bed, and have friends, and grow tall, taller than I ever was.”

I’m not letting him give up because of me.

“I need you to live, AJ. For me. That’s your job now.”

“Okay… Okay, Clem.” The blood-soaked boy gave in to her wishes, no matter how obvious it was he’d still rather remain by her side.

“That’s my job.”

“Last rule.”

“No!” AJ gripped the axe tightly in his hands.

“What do we do if I get bit?” As brave as Clementine was, they both knew there was something that scared her above all else.

“Are you gonna make me say it?”

AJ couldn’t formulate a response, all he could do was cry.

“You have to leave me, AJ.” No words felt sourer as they rolled off her tongue. Vocalizing it somehow made it all feel more real.

What a fitting place to turn.

James’ barn of the dead.

Clem wondered if James was still alive and if he was if he would return here find her. The first walker in his new collection.

“But before you said-”

“I know, but now that we’re here? I can’t make you do it.” She could recall the deathly look in Lee’s eyes as if it happened yesterday. She wondered if she appeared the same to AJ.

“I had to do it for Lee, and it never left me. I don't want you to have to live with that on you.”

“No. I won’t let you become a monster!” AJ raised his axe above his head in defiance swinging it down onto the girl who was his protector.

AJ knew he’d have to live with what he’d done, but he knew he could, because this time, Clementine was wrong.

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Clover and Lace, Chapter 15

Chapter warning: References to childhood abuse, forced childhood prostitution and graphic description of spousal abuse/murder.

Well kids, this chapter is two days late but about 800 words longer than normal. Ever wondered what Rosemary and Julian's childhood was like? What sort of childhood would make these two people?

A quick thanks to @winterisakiller who has had to put up with me while I write this and pretty much everything else in the last few months. Somehow she hasn’t murdered me yet and that’s worth a whole hell of a lot. Into RPF and Tom Hiddles? Check her out (That’s a order, not a request. <3)

As always, you can find my masterlist on my page or by searching “Kit’s Masterlist”. Just four more weeks of Clover and Lace to go! 

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Chapter 15

Rosemary’s shoulders ached. Her fingers were slightly numb though she wiggled them periodically to make sure she still could. Her joints hurt and part of her would kill for the chance to just get up and stretch, though she was sure if she tried to stand her knees would buckle under her weight.

Around her, men spoke in a language she didn’t understand. The cabin of the small aircraft vibrated with the force of the engines as they sailed through the air, high above the ground. For the life of her, she couldn’t remember getting on the plane. That gap in memory caused her to rightly believe she had been drugged at some point.

With no memory of take off, she had no way of knowing how long they had been in the air. They could have taken her anywhere. If she didn’t know where she was it would make it even harder to call for help.

She wondered where they were taking her but part of her feared she already knew the answer. It had been a mistake to save Steve’s life. It had been a mistake to step into Avenger business. She tried to tell herself that she should have just let Steve and his team die, though she couldn’t get herself to believe it.

A man walked up to her and with a thick accent that seemed to confirm her fears, he spoke. “You have questions, yes?”

“Can I get a large quad shot mocha? And maybe unchained?”

Perhaps sassing wasn’t the best idea. Actually, when the man reached out and slapped her hard, she was pretty sure it had been a bad idea. Still, it made her feel better for a second. But she did learn something valuable, at least one person on this plane spoke English.

“What do you want with me?” She shouted as the man walked away. The more he talked, the more she could learn. “Where are you taking me?”

“We want location of weapon.”

“What weapon? I don’t know anything about a weapon. I think you’ve kidnapped the wrong person.”

“You’re Lady Ramsey.” Well shit- they kidnapped the right person.

“My name is Sara Wilson.” If only they would take that answer.

“Sara Wilson has only existed for one year.” Gosh, has it been that long already? “You are Lady Ramsey. You are the Lady Spider.”

She spent the rest of the flight trying to deny it. She argued, supplied facts from her fabricated childhood that could be verified on the surface level. After a few hours, she had tried to convince them to let her out of her chains. She asked for a bathroom break and was offered a bucket and a group of men who seemed all to eager to watch her use it. Turned out, she didn’t have to go that badly after all.

It had been a long flight and the sun had gone down hours before when they finally descended into a clearing. The plane made a rough landing on what appeared to be a private airstrip in a thick jungle. The air was thick with misquotes eager to feed from them. It was a shame applying bug spray wasn’t a part of her morning routine though in reality she knew it would have worn off by now anyway.

She could just imagine cuddling with Steve while covered in the strong scent of bug spray. That would surely increase the odds of a repeat of this morning. Every man loved to smell of it, right?

This morning seemed so long ago. It was another lifetime. One where she could pretend that she was just Sara Rose Wilson. With how they parted- did he even know she’d been taken? Had he tried to reach her? Did he call? She should have let him in. She should have trusted him. Perhaps he did turn her into Shield, perhaps he did just use her but Shield wouldn’t have killed her. Probably. Hopefully.

It didn’t matter- Julian would be looking for her. He would have called within 20 minutes of her text message. She should have just stayed home and packed. But no, she wanted one last milkshake from the ice cream store down the road.

She was pushed along the dark pathway from the plane with a hand firmly in her hair. Really, it was starting to piss her off. They shoved her into a small shack with one light bulb hanging from the ceiling and a metal chair bolted to the ground. It wasn’t lost on her how stereotypical the scene was and if not for the fact that she wasn’t sure if she was going to live to leave the shed, she would have laughed.

They secured her chains to the chair and left her there, turning off the light as they went out the door. Moonlight shone in through the small dirty window. Rosemary listened for signs of life outside. When she found none, she pulled on her chains.

They held fast, tightly secure with very little give. The reality that she was stuck there, trapped with no way out hit her hard. She even had her damned phone- at least she was pretty sure, silent in her jacket pocket. It did her little good with no way to reach it. She could only pray that it connected to some sort of radio tower near by, if it wasn’t shattered from how many times she had been thrown onto hard surfaces. Rabbit was not activated and she had no way to activate it in her current position.  Even in the best case, that the phone was still in her jacket pocket, had charge and wasn’t shattered beyond use it wasn’t useful in that moment.

She had no way to help herself. All she could do was sit and wait. If she got lucky, she would see a friendly face who owed her a favor. The odds were slim however- much of her web she wouldn’t know on sight and she was so very far from home.

This was a terrible situation. Rosemary closed her eyes and leaned her head back. Would Steve come for her? Would he miss her? Did he betray her? While she was alone, she may as well think back to happier times as tears gathered in her eyes.

A smile graced her face as she thought back to being a young girl, running through the forest with her brother while the sun glittered off the leaves and grass as if they were emeralds. Their task had been to gather wild food but it meant valuable time out from under their father’s thumb. It was a rare time when they could play and act like children as they ran through the greenery and played in the sun. Still, if they didn’t gather enough food there was a mighty beating that would greet them when they got home with too light pockets.

She thought back to the way Steve looked when when she had first seen him from across the crowded room, the warm lights making his hair look more like warm caramel than gold. Her heart had skipped a beat when he smiled the first time. Butterflies seemed to take up residence in her stomach when he spoke to her, his voice smooth and low. While she felt like a nervous mess with his imposing size, handsome face and hardly hidden muscles yet he seemed to be just as nervous.

Their fist date had been perfection and absolutely nothing she had expected. It had been so perfectly them when at the time there hardly was a ‘them’ that even for those things that went wrong, it was everything she needed it to be. It felt amazing to dance in his arms. It felt amazing to be with him.

She was addicted to him. She couldn’t help but fall for him and fall she did. It happened hard and fast, leaving her terrified yet wanting more every moment. Steve’s kiss seemed to draw new fire to desires that only simmered within her before. He gave her a taste of what being in love could be like, what being desired could be like.

Their easy conversations brought her peace even when she was having to make less than wholesome deals. Never had she feared for someone the way she had feared for him during his mission. It was a deep fear that shook her to her core. Never did she think she could feel that sort of fear in her life.

She may have slept for short spells as she sat in that metal chair, dreaming of what could have been, what had been. Somehow that first night felt impossibly long. Each time her head would jerk and she would wake from the light sleep, it felt like no time had passed at all.

Rosemary sang herself some folk songs from when she was a child, filling the dim and musty space with the sounds of the few happy childhood memories she had. Morning light began to come through the small window and fill the space when morning finally came. She could see how small the room was.

It was just as small as she feared. The floor, though solid, was covered in dirt, grass and straw. Water pooled in places and looking up, she could see the light coming through areas where the tin roof had rusted through. She was thankful it hadn’t rained during the night though if it had she could have possibly gotten a sip of water.

Rosemary was resigned to the fact that she would likely die here. Perhaps they would keep her alive for a few days or a few weeks. Maybe longer. They wanted the information she had access to. They wanted to use her web for their own gains.

She wouldn’t allow them to. The threads of her web reached far and wide. If her contacts fell into the wrong hands she feared for the world. Governments could topple with shifts in the balance of power. Her web would die with her and that would be worth it. Rosemary watched a disturbingly large spider crawl out of the shed as she decided that she’d lived a good life.

If she died now, that was okay. She had done all she had dared to dream of and more. She had seen the world. She’d lived a good life, better than she had dared to hope when she was nothing but a small child cowering under her father’s fists. She had even found and experienced something she never expected, love.

Closing her eyes, she tried to imagine Steve’s touch. She focused on the way his hands felt on her and the way his kiss made her beg for more. She would have given anything just to see his smile one more time. In her head, she played back the sound of his voice when he said he loved her. It didn’t matter to her in that moment if it was true or not, if he had used her or not. What mattered was that she loved him.

The door was chained closed at some point. It must have happened while she dozed in the middle of the night because she had no memory of hearing the rattle of chains. She would have remembered the sound, had she been awake. It was loud as someone outside unlocked the chains and let them fall to the ground.

Slowly, the door came in and someone Rosemary hadn’t expected to see at all walked in holding a tray of absolutely delicious smelling food. Spiced broth spilled a bit as the woman walked in and smiled warmly even as Rosemary’s blood ran cold. Detective Mary O’kelley was the one person she didn’t expect.

“Don’t look so surprised.”

“I’m pretty sure this violates more than a few international laws.” Rosemary put a bright smile on her face. “How’s your dad?”

“He died.”

“I’m terribly sorry to hear that. He was a good man and a good cop. Mostly.”

“He wasn’t willing to do whatever it takes to put down the parasites who would go so low as to kill their own father. You know, we found your mother’s body. I bet you two killed her too.”

“We took no part in their deaths. That wasn’t us. Now come on, you were an honorable cop. Don’t do this. Let me go.”

“Tell me why you killed him?”

“We didn’t!” Rosemary yelled before schooling her emotions again. “We planned on it. We intended to. We would have. But we didn’t. He was already dead when we came home that night. There was so much blood.”

“You were heard talking about slitting his throat. Just admit it and this can all be over.”

“We talked about it, yeah. But we were going to wait till he drank himself to sleep and suffocate him. Why does this matter so much to you? It didn’t matter this much before.”

“Because this murder we can prove. I can prove. But you killed her too. You killed my mother.”

“No one even knows who your mother was. You dad just showed up with a babe. At least that’s what they said.” Rosemary was thoroughly confused. Mary was older than they were but it was well known that her father had just came home one day with a child he called his own.

“Somehow, she loved you two more! Why wasn’t Pap good enough? Why wasn’t I good enough?”

“What are you talking about?”

“She was my mother too!” Mary screamed. “And you killed her! You killed her and then you killed your own father.”

“You’re mother… That’s why?”

Mary threw the bowl of hot broth at Rosemary before throwing the whole tray at her. Bowls clattered around her and rice flew everywhere. She could only watch helplessly as Mary stormed out and the shed door was slammed shut behind her.

Calmly she sat and listened as the chain rattled outside and the door was locked again. Passively, she wondered exactly how Mary- and now she was only Mary and not worth of the title Detective- expected her to try and escape the shed if she was chained to the chair.

When the rattling stopped, Rosemary desperately licked what grains of rice she could reach that had clung to her face. It was hardly more than a few but it was all the food she would have and she wouldn’t waste anything she could get.

Sitting there she watched bugs run around on the ground, eager for the spilled food as she thought. Mary held a personal grudge. She was being blamed for the death of Mary’s mother, someone Rosemary hadn’t ever known. Except it seemed she did know who Mary’s mother was.

Rosemary remembered the night that their mother died clearly. It was one of the few things she could never forget regardless of how hard she tried. Their father yelled and screamed, though such was normal for him. Items were thrown and broken and through it all, Rosemary tried to remember exactly what had triggered that last fight.

“You bloody cunt!” The booming voice of their father seemed to rattle the walls. A small girl clung to her brother and together they prayed that he wouldn’t notice them.

“Don’t you yell at me!” The woman with hair the color of fire screamed back, throwing a pot. It was a scene they had seen countless times before and yet somehow, this time it felt fundamentally different in a way they would only understand when it was too late.

“You think you can run around behind my back and hide the money?” The man slapped the woman hard. The blow sent her down onto the dirt floor in a crumpled heap.

“There is no money!” She cried as her fingers dug into the dirt. “I didn’t charge him a coin.”

“You’re nothing but a whore. The world’s cheapest whore apparently!” The man’s leg pulled back and he kicked her hard in the stomach before reaching down and pulling her up by her hair in order to scream in her face again, calling her a useless whore and other vile things the children had all heard before.

“He loves me!” She yelled as she slapped at him. “He said he will take me and the kids in! I just have to ask and I will. I will leave you!”

“Bet that little bitch of his would love having a whore like you to call mum.”

The children watched as their father’s hand clamped around their mother’s throat and squeezed. She clawed at his arms and neck, leaving long angry red lines crossing along his skin. Finally, possibly by luck, she managed to scratch deeply at his eyes as red blood beaded up on his arms. When he let go of her, he shoved her away from him violently. Her body was weak from lack of oxygen or perhaps the adrenaline was why her knees buckled and she fell harshly to the ground. A sickening pop rang out as her foot twisted in a way that the children both knew it most surely should not twist.

She screamed as she crawled away from him but he was on her in nearly an instant. With a fist in her hair, he lifted her off the ground again. Terror was clear in her eyes and fueled her as she kicked out wildly, catching him on the shin repeatedly. When he let go, she fell hard in front of the stone ledge of the fireplace.

He was enraged at her for having the nerve to finally fight back and this time when his hand gripped her hair he didn’t lift her head more than a foot off the ground before he slammed it down. The sound of her skull hitting the stones around the fireplace was sickening. Though Rosemary could clearly hear it in her mind all these years later, she could never begin to put words to that sound. He repeated the action again and again as blood spilled from the side of her head and her nose. Though she had gone limp, he did not stop.

The young girl that had grown into Rosemary clung to the boy who would later choose Julian as the name he would give himself. He held her face into his shoulder and whispered in her ear, trying to drown out the crushing sound of their mother’s bones breaking. Her brother was always her rock and this night like so many others, she clung to him.

They didn’t sleep that night. Instead, they clutched each other as they cowered next to the couch. Rosemary couldn’t look, even if she had tried. Julian held her face lightly in the crook of his neck and one could easily wonder if protecting her from the sight gave him some sense of control over the situation. He would grow into a man who greatly favored being in control.

“You’re mother left. You saw her walk out the door. She didn’t love you.” Their father announced as if that somehow overrode their eyes.

“Yes Papa.” The children both responded dutifully, as if they didn’t see the blood and hair pooled by the hearth.

His eyes however were glued to the mess that had once been their mother’s head. It no longer looked like the face of the woman who would sing them to sleep when their father passed out for the night, kissing the hurts inflicted by the man who should have been protecting them. Their father dragged the lifeless body out into the back garden with a shovel. For the first time in many years, they were allowed peace that night as he buried their mother.

It was the first time in months they had enough time to get some solid sleep through the night. It was a shame neither of them managed to sleep that night or the following night. When Julian did finally sleep, he often woke with nightmares that would force the air from his lungs in a violent scream. Rosemary would do everything she could to muffle it, even if it meant risking holding a pillow over his face. If father was woken up by the noise they would both be beaten.

Within six months their father had brought another woman home. She was tall and her hair lacked the warmth in the color that their mother’s had. It was a cold blonde, frizzy and wild in a way that lacked the grace of their mother’s soft curls. The woman’s face was sharp and angular. There was no kindness or love in her eyes for anyone, let alone the children of another women.

“This is your new Mum.” Their father said as if that was all it took to make it so. The children nodded and agreed, as if he had declared that the sky was blue.

The woman would go on to become one of their greatest abusers. It was her that suggested and encouraged their father to take his greed to greater heights. It was her that told him how much people- terrible horrible people would pay to have time with a young girl to indulge in vile acts.

As the now adult Rosemary sat in the dim shed alone with her thoughts and memories, she wondered what ever happened to that woman who they called ‘mum’ and had never once thought of as a mother. Did the police ever investigate her? Did it even matter? Rosemary didn’t care who did the deed and offed their father but she had dared to dream that they had taken her out as well. It was that woman’s terrible idea to sell off her virginity to the highest bidder. It was her idea to sell Rosemary’s body to men night after night. If the woman had been violently killed, Rosemary would still think it wasn’t enough of a punishment.

Long ago Rosemary had moved on, he was dead and that was all that really mattered to her. He would never harm them again. Their lives were their own now. Their decisions were their own though it had taken Rosemary a very long time to make a choice without Julian’s opinion and approval.

If she was going to die with Steve being the only choice she made on her own, she would indulge in the memories of him. With what little time she had left, she would put side the thoughts about what had passed as a childhood. It was far better to indulge in the fresher memories of far better times. It was better to spend her last hours or days thinking about the taste of Steve’s kiss, how safe she felt in his strong arms and the way his warm hands would touch her.

There wasn’t a better thing she could pick to have as her last thoughts.

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[doctorpariahdax]

The Gang 3/3

The sky, when it was like this, gave him vertigo. His thighs and backside were getting cold, maybe a bit numb. He guessed he’d been lying on his back for the better part of half an hour now. He took off the road a few days back, he didn’t mind breaking trail. To think of it, he hadn’t had skiis since he was little. His mother bought them for him once, a year before she died. She loved to ski and decided he was big enough now that he might be coordinated enough to do it on his own.    He couldn’t keep up with her. She took her sweet time breaking trail for him, looking back and holding out her hand to wait for him. They didn’t get snow in Louisianna a lot, but back in Wales she had told him that her family used to take vacations towards Prussia and Switzerland to go ski. He, his mother, and father, took a holiday up to North Carolina, that’s where he went skiing with his mother, but couldn’t remember for the life of him what the mountains’ name was.    Maybe they were just hills, everything looked so big to him when he was little. Vertigo….Occasionally he’d turn his head in the snow. A doctor some cities back told him that’s why pidgeons bob their heads, so they could see the depth of things. Something about how the lens of their eye is shaped. He turned his head back, the snow gently crunching beneath his hair. When the sky seemed to be so flat, all those colors, mixed together, but still so flat. He couldn’t tell if the sky was far away or just mere inches above his nose.    Those awkward organic feelings that made a part of him reel on the inside also made him smile.    He only blinked when snowflakes fell in his eyes, the sun was hiding but it was still bright out. The sky was a nice purple. He wanted to try and remember what this looked like, all the trees around the periphery of his vision, the gentle hues right above him blending together.    God he wished he could paint.   Maybe he’d buy a room and something small, a couple paints just to practice with.    No, he was told you can’t be in a closed room with a lot of paints. The fumes were bad air, something like that. No. Maybe that was when you burn clay. He couldn’t remember. Lots of people said a lot of things when he passed through town, he couldn’t help but listen in...problem was he usually only picked up bits of information.   A bit of a shiver ran up his back, and like clockwork he sat up, brushed off his ass and found his pack buried a bit underneath the new snowfall. He tied and latched in his boots to the leather, grabbed his poles, and started through the trees again.    Last night, he could see a bit of light pollution on a hill – maybe Massachusets’ idea of a mountain – overlooking the landscape, but it was a few fair miles away from him. He liked taking his time, and he liked staying off the road, so he reckoned he might reach Boston in another day or two. That’d be perfect.    Trudging through the trees, hearing the soft, almost melodic crunch of new snow beneath the skiis, he fell into a bit of a trance. He went off the road a few days back, within the week, and two days prior to now he tried going deeper off the roads. He had made a campsite next to some river, it was still moving and it was low enough to wade in a bit. It was good water, better than boiling snow. He stayed there for about a day, followed his tracks back to and from the river, but when he came back there were circles and circles of hoof prints, and those prints followed him part the way to the river...and retreated the way they came.    It was a bit unnerving, thinking back on it, that someone may have been watching him. He’d been in and out of the towns on his own for years, even if he wasn’t aware of it at the time, knowing there were eyes on him at some point made him uneasy.    Earlier today it was the same thing. Perhaps it was nothing, but he stopped to take a piss in the morning, and he thought he heard something jingle, a horses’ bit, stirrups. But when he looked behind him there was just a flutter of snow falling from a branch. The cold raised the hair on the back of his neck, but it was specters like that that kept his hair on end.    After another hour or so of being in that trance, after another hour of pushing one foot in front of the other over and over again he thought he heard that jingling again. He stopped, turned, but there was nothing behind him. He looked over the other shoulder...nothing.    Then, suddenly, there was just a shadow of doubt, a flicker in the corner of his eye, but it wasn’t a horse.    It was dark and grey, muscled and angular, and it darted into the banks of snow that curled upwards around the bottoms of the pine’s lowest branches. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to move until he knew what it was. Maybe just a badger. He’d skewered angry badgers before, but they usually didn’t bother with people, not in the dead of winter. It couldn’t have been a bear cub, no mother nearby to worry, they’d all be asleep in their dens. It darted again, snow falling from the higher branches at the smallest movement, and behind it a trail of hot red that sank deeply into the snow behind it. Then he saw two more shadows.    Arthur took a deep breath in and went stiff.    Three wolves, one with deep wide cuts across its muzzle came slinking out from beneath the pines, their teeth bared and a small deep growl resonating deeply within their chests. Their eyes were as wide with attention as Arthur’s. His rifle was on his back, held in stiff place by his overstuffed pack. It wouldn’t come off easily.  It only took two bullets at a time. He’d still have to reload. He had put the pistols he took in Tennessee into the pack. Deep in the pack. The metal was too cold on his stomach to keep while he trudged through the backcountry.    In a heartbeat, he thought it might be worthwhile to say a prayer – just in case – but it occurred to him, almost funnily, that he didn’t know any prayers.    He knew it must have taken the better part of a minute, but it felt like it went by as quickly as the bat of an eye. The wolves made him the center of a triangle, and the one with the bloodied muzzle, the hungriest one, dove at Arthur’s chest. It pinned him into the snow, his skiis making his ankles buckling beneath him and crossing one another beneath pounds of snow. He couldn’t do anything but fold his forearms over themselves and hold them close to his neck.    The bloodied wolf tossed him by his chest to and fro, and within a breath Arthur felt one of the other’s dig its teeth deep into his shoulder.    He screamed, he felt the heat leave his body and the two animals jerk him ferociously in different directions. His joints popped from the sudden movements and feathers came out from the wool and downed jacket he wore. He screamed again, louder, he felt the vibration of his voice in his throat but he couldn’t hear himself above the animals’ snarling and the sound of his skin tearing.    Tears formed in his eyes, so enraptured in the attack, so confused, he hardly heard the gunshot and the yelp from the third wolf as it took a final dive into the snow near Arthur’s legs.    A man’s voice cursed just beyond the trees, and the wolf who had bit into Arthur’s shoulder jaggedly tore its mouth from his open skin, a flurry of goose feathers ripping out from his jacket with the motion and sticking to the wolf’s snout. It snarled and pushed off, sending snow and feathers off behind it as it rushed the other attacker.    In the final jerking motion of the second wolf leaving him, the bloodied one saw an opening just enough between Arthur’s arms. Arthur wanted to scream when the beast made contact, but he couldn’t. His hand was stuck against his own neck and the beasts teeth had sunk into the space between his thumb and his forefinger, and his shoulder wound.    A second crack from the gun sounded the death of another wolf, it yelped as well.    The world suddenly was very quiet. Arthur could hear a man’s voice cursing and the fumbling of shells, he could hear – feel – the vibrations of the wolf’s breath and snarls and with every attempt of the animal’s to snap Arthur’s neck in half he could hear every individual hair on his head gently brush the soft powder of the snow that caved in around him.    He couldn’t breathe. The animal was using his own hand, pinned against his neck, to stop his breathing. Maybe the animal wasn’t that smart, but it could see what it was doing was working, and the animal bit down harder. Arthur could feel the capillaries around his lips and eyes popping as he strained to draw breath.    He heard about this.    That peaceful feeling, even in the worst of situations, if you’re awake enough to realize you’re dying, there’s this warm, peaceful feeling that gets you at the end.    Arthur didn’t remember closing his eyes, just that everything slowly became blurry. But he had closed his eyes. His head was sore, and the tissue behind his eyes burned like a devil had spat in them, but he had to have closed his eyes at some point.   When he opened them, a sharp, pale face was staring down at him, a darker shape lurked behind it.    The pale face had lips, pink ones, thin, they were moving slowly. Arthur tried to concentrate on them. Son of a bitch, he thought they said. Mist was coming out of them. He was still lying on his back, and with the man breathing down on him, it was like the snowflakes...he got a sense of vertigo, and fell asleep. ******************************************************************************** “You lost a bit of blood son but the wolves got all the fleshy parts, gaps between your muscles, they didn’t get anything serious. You’re awfully lucky. Lucky we stopped by. Absolutely ridiculous. I mean, the sheer...coincidence is too benign a word for this. Shot that damn beast right across the muzzle, it ran off. It lost a lot of blood too I bet; I was tracking it for the better part of two days. Then here you are. Me and John, we patched you up, you’re not bleeding anymore, nothing fierce, but you should be careful. Don’t want to tear open anything that still needs mending on its own. Oh, that’s right. Your pack’s on our wagon. Your guns, back with their rightful owner. And, you know with your injuries and all we didn’t want you carrying on too much of a load so we took a bit of your pocket change out. Lighten your load. You understand.”    His head was fuzzy, like a cloud was around his thoughts, but Arthur understood enough, and he was decent with faces. He recognized the pale man almost immediately, even though it had been a few months.    They had tied him to a tree, a small one, right next to the road on a hill, there was a city down in eye’s view, and it was early evening, the sky was mostly clear and there were just enough clouds that changed the color of the sunset to an unearthly purple. Arthur didn’t have to test the ropes that much, he knew he wasn’t going anywhere unless someone had a knife.    The black haired fellow he snatched the pistols from was off to Arthur’s left, relieving himself behind a few trees, whistling.   “John’s been calling you ‘Robin Hood’ after what you did to that poor Sheriff. Robin Kilgore. Hah. Robin Kilgore. That your actual name son?” the blonde haired man chuckled.    Arthur’s neck was stiff, and he glowered up at the man with his head tilted sideways. He had a headache coming on, he could feel it. A bad one.    “Son? That your name or should we compliment some humor your way instead of your parents.”    “I ain’t your son.” Arthur hadn’t spoken for a few days, his voice sounded a bit deeper, gratting, than it normally was, but he knew it threw off the image of him most people had. He was tall for his age but his voice was still high. His saliva was thick and mixed with mucus in his throat, it was sore.   “Robin. Rob-bin. Kill-Gore. Funny. I’ve been laughing about that one for a while now.” the blonde man laughed again, and the black haired fellow finally came over to join them. The two men looked down at Arthur with what Arthur hoped was astonished and comical smiles, and not something more ominous. The blonde haired man did seem to be pondering a bit down at Arthur after he spoke.   “How old are you, son? Your voice doesn’t sound like its dropped yet.” Arthur squinted against the sunset, he could feel his lips were bleeding from dehydration.    “You gonna’ leave me out here?” Arthur looked down at the ground. Save for these two men’s wagon, there were no other tracks...and it was a heavy snowfall. If he survived the night the rope would freeze, then he’d need more than a knife to get him off this tree. “No one uses this road, I’m gonna die out here.”

“Ahh,” the black haired man laughed deeply. “You do sound young. Jesus you’re fucking tall. How old are you?”    “Shut up, John.”   “Dutch.” Arthur corrected him. “His name is Dutch, or asshole, back in Tennessee you seemed to use those two names interchangeably. Your name’s Hosea. Stop trying to dick me around, I ain’t stupid.”   The blonde haired man leaned down, a bit of a mirthful smile coming onto his thin lips. “Out of the three of us, you’re the only one who can’t write his name. So, relatively, between the three of us, you is stupid.”   “Were you following us?” Dutch asked, his voice was hesitant, and his brow was furrowed, like he was still trying to figure out the kind of nature Arthur had.   Arthur tried to shrug but the pull against the ropes hurt the wound in his shoulder. “You just fucking talk a lot. So, he tells you to shut up a lot. You two are loud as a cow in heat, you don’t know how to pass through a town without makin’ a whole lotta noise.”   The two men laughed. Hosea had a bit of a cackle, Dutch a wheeze, but the two men were genuinely laughing. It made Arthur upset, and the fact he couldn’t do anything about their humor made him more agitated.   “We, don’t know how to pass through a town? WE? Son, you mind telling us what the hell you did back in that town on Lake Superior? You killed a sheriff’s deputy and the sheriff himself, after his wife and kids, hell, the whole damn town basically gave you every commodity a kid could need.”   “And he lied to them.” Hosea added.   “AND YOU LIED TO THEM.” Hosea and Dutch stood there side by side, smiling, shaking their heads.   “God,” Dutch whispered. “How fucking old are you?”   Arthur blinked. “Excuse you? You’re going to give me a lecture in ethics? You two old crotchety bastards chase a boy from Tennessee, almost to Canada, then over near Boston just to get two god damned stupid guns back, tie him to a tree,  and you keep asking him about his age?” Arthur shook his head, looking  a little pale. “I’m telling you right now I’m gonna kill you if you touch me and I ain’t telling you my age if that’s gonna give you yer’ jollies.”   The two men seemed  to process the awkward nature of their questions at the same time, muttered Christs’ name, and paused. Hosea held up his hands and counted on his fingers.   “Firstly, I’m Jewish, I think you’re talking more about those of the Catholic persuasion,” he patted Dutch’s arm jokingly, “but even then he’s not interested in shit starting boys who think they’re tough as nails, going around killing men for no reason.”   “IT WASN’T NO REASON.”   Dutch shared a glance with Hosea, with raised eyebrows.   Arthur went quiet after his outburst.   “We’re close to being friends here, Robin, and you’re right. This road into town doesn’t much get used very often. So. If you don’t wanna see if you’ll turn into a human ice cone over night-” Dutch shrugged, calm, a hint of ruthlessness lurking under a soft smile he was giving Arthur. “I’d hate to kill a kid. You seem smart, it’d be a shame to waste that on a cow herder’s road just outside of a town that has a nice, warm, bath.”   It was quiet for nearly too long. Arthur mostly spoke because he sensed Dutch was about ready to turn and get on his wagon. He looked up again. They would leave him.   “The Sheriff - he was beating his wife. When she stopped fighting he’d beat the kids. When she was gone, he’d beat the kids... She didn’t want the kids beat so she’d struggle and he’d go back to beaten her, you know how some people are. They like to see the struggle. People like that, don’t care who they’re hurting, they just wanna see it.”    Dutch didn’t seem phased, Arthur could tell Hosea tensed a bit. Maybe he had a family.    “And?” Dutch’s voice lowered.   “He was raping his wife. His daughter was young but they were talking about maybe marrying her when she was older to the deputy….he raped her.”   “The Sheriff?” Hosea had almost tangible disgust in his voice.   Arthur waved his head in thought, “The deputy. But the Sheriff knew about it. About all the times. Didn’t seem to give a shit.”   “Who told you this?”   “Alexander.” Arthur picked with his boot at an iceblock that looked like a snowball. His ass was getting numb and cold. “The youngest. Said he saw his mom screaming. Saw his sister screaming in the barn. Talked to his sister. Sister didn’t seem happy. He didn’t use the terms, but I know what that means.”   Dutch seemed to condone, suddenly understanding the hubbub this kid had started.   “Son, how old are you?”   Arthur decided he didn’t want to die, but he’d already gotten a good look at these men’s faces, knew their names. If he stayed on this road he might die, and they might almost certainly kill him. It was a tough choice between the futility and pointlessness of lying or telling the truth.   “Son? You’re...you seem to know what you’re doing out here, on your own, I’ll give you that. But you’re young. Too young to just go ‘round...being a vigilante or what have you. You...you got a home? Parents?”   “What, like you’re gonna bring me back?”   Dutch shrugged. Hosea chuckled.   Arthur breathed, and watched his breath go up into the air. Why bother lying? He hadn’t had an honest conversation with anyone in a long while. “I just turned 14. I think. I don’t really know what month it is.”   “Parents?” Hosea’s soft voice interrupted the solemnity of the evening, the sun was practically down, the sky was turning a dark blue, the stars were peeking out behind the storm clouds.   He hesitated. “Immigrants. They both dead. A while now.” something caught on his tongue. “My momma, she died when I was young.”   “Your pa?” Dutch crouched in front of Arthur, between the boy’s ankles.   A laugh hesitated in Arthur’s chest. “Well, he’s dead too. My momma didn’t deserve it, but he did.” Arthur made deep contact with Dutch’s eyes, and he smiled for the first time in a long while. It was nostalgia that made him show his teeth to this complete stranger. “He deserved it...Just like the sheriff.” He lowered his head and bit the inside of his cheeks. “And when my momma wasn’t there anymore-”    It came very suddenly, a lot like that feeling of vertigo, he clamped his teeth and lips together. Dutch saw through it though, saw a bit. Dutched said, “Aha...yeah I’d kill my daddy if he did that too.”    Dutch took off his hat and put it on Arthur’s head, tightened the boy’s jacket and cut the ropes. Arthur sat there in the snow for a minute, a feeling of some sort of embarrassment absorbing him when he moved to stand up. There was a bit of awkward catharsis in talking to someone who seemed to care, even if it was only over a pair of pistols.    “I turned him in. Larceny. He lost practically all his money, land, had to rent. He was a drunk most of the time after momma was dead.  He paid his way out though, kinda got back on his feet. Drank more. He tried to kill himself but he didn’t hate himself enough to pull the trigger.”   Hosea understood, nodded behind Dutch, tightened his jackets, and climbed up onto the seat of the wagon, taking the reins.    “You still got a lot of hate, son?” Dutch’s gaze prodded at Arthur.    He shrugged. “It’s Arthur.”   “Arthur.”   “Morgan.”   Dutch’s face slowly came to a glow and he stuck out his hand. He laughed and smiled when Arthur hesitantly took it.   “Dutch, van der Linde. That’s Hosea Matthews. Trainspotter. Conman.”   A pause, a shrug from Arthur, “Good shot.”   “A trainspotter, a conman, and a good shot.” Dutch nodded. ���Well, Arthur Morgan. Boston’s just thataway. So unless you were actually joining any family in Vermont...you want a ride to warm food and a bath?”    Dutch climbed up next to Hosea, and sat a bit closer to make room for Arthur. But he didn’t need much room. Arthur was tall, but he still had some room to grow out in his frame. He was sheepish for most of the ride down the hill. He and Hosea wordlessly got out to push the wagon when it caught in a hidden snowbank.    They pulled into the snowy roads of Boston within another hour, and as they unloaded their wagon and made their way through town to find a hotel, Dutch noticed Arthur did favor his left side.   “You cover a lot of ground for a fourteen year old who got kicked ten feet by a god damn mill horse.”   “Yeah. That hurt. I got the wind kicked outta me. Horse caught me on my arm. Broke the top part of those two bones, just below my elbow, and three ribs. Doctor said if my arm hadn’t been in the way it might’ve crushed my intestines. But they’re fine. He just said if I grow anymore my ribs might be a problem. Might be a bit unbalanced.” Hosea took Arthur aside for a moment, straightened his back, brought his collar up to hide the gash and bandages.   Hosea held the door, and Dutch shook his head incredulously. “Jesus. You’re all right though? You drink whiskey, Arthur?”   “Yeah. Shoah. Not a lot though. I get a bit weird when I drink too much.”   “Don’t we all?” Hosea laughed, entering the hotel last. “A round of drinks please,” he called out to the bartender, “for him, me, and my cousin.” He clapped Arthur on the shoulder. “My boy, Junior, Tacitus Kilgore, got his first elk, clean shot, right between the eyes. We’re celebrating.” part 1/3 part 2/3

[amazingmsme]

Why Jesse Tuck Hates The Ocean

Miles and Jesse had pledged to spend more time together. Family was the only consistency in their eternal life, and every few years they decided to plan a vacation together. They've visited the African safari, climbed Mount Everest, kayaked down the Amazon, and seen countless other sights. Miles remembered how much his brother had loved the ocean. He used to talk about it constantly, rambling about the countless creatures that lurked in the waters that would remain unknown. He used to say that he would go down in a submarine one day to see what it was like, and if he couldn't find one, he would swim to the bottom of the sea himself. As the years went by, he talked about it less. Miles assumed he'd just forgotten about his dream with time. After all, they've been alive for over 200 years and they didn't always remember certain things. So he decided that he'd do something nice for his brother, and asked if he wanted to go to Australia with him, where they could go surfing, relax on the beach, and even get in a shark cage next to some of the world's largest great whites. Jesse used to say how he always wanted to do that, but in recent years, it was as if his brother had completely forgotten that the ocean even existed. But when he asked if he wanted to go, his brother had a panic attack. It took 20 minutes to get him to calm down. He didn't know if he wanted to talk about or leave it be, and he decided to leave that up to Jesse.

"I hate the ocean," those were the only words he could choke out between sobs. And just like that, all the reasons came flooding back to him.

Reason 1: 1912 He had bought a ticket for the maiden voyage of the biggest ship to date. History was being made before his eyes, and he was gonna be a part of it! History was made alright, and after days of gambling and fun, it all came to an end. He felt the boat strike something large and heard a terrible metal scraping. Everyone else dismissed it for the most part, but he could tell something wasn't right. Hours past and suddenly they were sinking. Chaos on deck as people rushed to the lifeboats that there were too few of. Women and children first. Jesse knew he couldn't get on one, it would be too selfish of him. He would survive no matter what. Someone else needed that seat.

He jumped early on. The boat was just beginning to capsize when he plunged himself into the icy waters. His body froze instantly when he hit the water. Just because he was immortal doesn't mean he can't feel, and even though he couldn't really feel pain, it was the most excruciating thing he had ever felt. It was the closest thing to physical pain he could feel. He almost missed it. He sunk for a good bit before coming to his senses. His eyes shot open and all around him he only saw black. He  tilted his head back and saw the boat lights above the water, illuminating the lifeboats and bodies floating. Suddenly, half of the ship broke off and sank quickly past him, startling him as the metal brushed past. He had ran out of air a long time ago, and even though he couldn't die, it was a frightening feeling. His lungs yearned for air, and when he opened his mouth, water rushed inside, filling his body and making him weak from the cold. He tried to cough but found he couldn't, the taste of salt overwhelming him. He was 25 meters below the surface but found he couldn't swim anymore. He needed to rest. It wouldn't hurt to rest, right? He felt his eyelids flutter as the urge to sleep and give up grew more and more.

He shook his head, forcing himself to stay awake. He forced his numb limbs to move through the water until finally, he broke through the surface. The air was sharp against his cold skin as screams and cries rang out in the night, calling for help that didn't come. He looked up at the dark moonless sky dotted with stars and closed his eyes, silently praying for mercy. He forgot which way land was, so he picked a random direction and started swimming.

89 days. That's how long it took to swim back to shore. 89 days of swimming constantly until he couldn't feel his arms and legs, letting himself drift with the waves, staring blearily up at the sun. He was so cold, he forgot what warmth felt like; he was so wet, he forgot what being dry felt like. And even though he didn't necessarily need food to survive, his stomach rumbled so loud, he was shocked it didn't attract sharks or other creatures. He saw a pod of blue whales swim past, breaching close by. It was a beautiful sight, the only good thing to happen to him since he started his swim. He hoped it was a sign of good luck, and that good things were coming his way.

He cried when he saw land on the horizon. He arrived off the coast of Delaware, surprisingly close to his home in New Jersey. His money was soaked, but he had enough to pay a cab driver to drive back to his house where he finally got to rest. He drank two whole gallons of water, and ate all the food in his pantry before sleeping for three weeks straight.

Reason 2: 1945 Jesse had been drafted in the second World War. It wasn't his first one, but after the Great War, he hadn't been too eager to get back to fighting. He was on a secret mission on the USS Indianapolis to deliver the atomic bombs that were said to bring an end to the war. After a successful arrival, they were all ready to celebrate. Then things took a turn for the worst. Two torpedoes struck the ship, and they started sinking. This was so much faster than the Titanic. The boat was sunk in 12 minutes.

Jesse and his comrades clung onto ship wreckage, donned in life jackets. He looked at the men around him, noting that a large chunk of the crew didn't make it out. He yelled out asking for names, hearing the voices of his friends and relaxing a bit. Until he felt something brush against his leg. And someone else did too. And someone else. And then there was the first attack.

By the light of the almost full moon, Jesse watched in horror as his brothers in arms got picked off one by one by ravenous sharks. Blood in the water swirled around them, drawing in more hungry predators. Pain filled screams filled the air as the men were ripped apart and drowned, and the heart wrenching sobs of those who were forced to watch their friends die before their eyes. There was nothing Jesse could do but watch.

"Quint! Over here!" Jesse called out to his friend, pulling him onto his piece of driftwood for safety. The pale moonlight illuminated the scene, and saltwater and tears drenched their faces. And then Jesse felt himself be pulled down. Quint reached out to grab his hand and Jesse tried to cling on, but their grip was no match for a shark's jaws.

It's a strange thing, not dying: being able to feel, but not feel pain. He could feel the teeth sunk into his thigh, ripping and dragging him down only, it didn't hurt. He felt the pressure of each tooth that pierced his skin and tore away the flesh. Jesse tried to get away in a panic, but another shark bit through his arm. Another grew in it's place. He stared at the new appendage before getting struck from behind by the original shark, taking a bite from his side, only for more flesh to grow and replace it. Jesse looked up, staring into the blank and empty eyes of the shark, it's mouth opening wide, showing him all it's teeth, chunks of flesh stuck between. Jesse screamed, the last of his air long gone and swallowing mouthfuls of sea water. His lungs would ache if they could. He reached back as far as his arm could reach, and with all his might thrust his fist towards the shark, punching it on the nose. It swam off, leaving him alone and allowing him to return to the surface. Everyone screamed, not knowing what to expect.

He coughed and sputtered, "It's okay, I'm okay." By the time they were rescued, only 317 members of the 1,196 person crew remained. And out of all the people who went under the water, only Jesse made it back to the surface.

Reason 3: 1985 By this point in time, Jesse had a rough relationship with the ocean. He still loved splashing along by the shore, but refused to get in water deeper than he could touch. He was swimming along a crowded beach in Florida, trying his best to calm his swarming mind. And then he felt something brush against his leg and he froze. Memories came flooding back as teeth dug into his leg, spilling blood into the water for all to see. His skin and flesh instantly healed and the hammerhead swam off after the exploratory bite, but the damage was done. Mothers were gathering their children from the water and lifeguards were already coming to his rescue as the entire beach watched on. Everyone was expecting him to be injured, to have a piece of him missing, to have meat hanging on by the skin. They were all preparing themselves for something awful. Only he didn't have a single scratch on him. Not a single solitary flaw on his smooth perfect skin. His blood was still lingering in the surf, proof of what had happened. He was panicking, thinking of excuses he could use for why he wasn't injured.

He ended up telling the lifeguard that the shark got a fish that happened to be near his leg. He still looked concerned and skeptical, but after looking him over, believed his story. But after that day, it had been proven to Jesse that the ocean was not a safe place for him. It brought nothing but bad luck and traumatizing memories, and he refused to step foot in it. It served as a reminder that no matter what he goes through, there truly is no way out.

Miles didn't know this. He made a point not to tell his family any of this. But he decided now, maybe it was time to share his burden. His brother listened, not uttering a sound, instead listening to Jesse's words spoken through sobs, all the while holding him in a tight embrace. When he was finished, all Jesse could say was, "I used to love the ocean..."