#i was like 90 words short of the min by the time i finished the scene i was on

[sant-riley]

[Gacha game addict]

Characters: Ghost, Gaz, fem!Reader

Summary: Reader stays up late playing he gacha game [fluff/platonic] (it's very short like maybe 200 words.

A/N: Wow long time no write anyways can you tell I'm heavily into Gaz these days. I finished Neuvillette to lvl 90 with everything done like 20 mins ago and I was watching the campaign as I did all of it so, this is here Lmao. It's not good but hey, writing is writing.

"This can't be serious, you finished a character? In one night? Is that supposed to be hard?"  Simon couldn't help but roll his eyes, walking in side by side with Gaz to the dining hall, last thing he was expecting to see you clocked the fuck out on the dining table.

Your hair was a mess and your face was smushed into the wood, if he looked closely, he could see the slight drool you left all over it.

"Ghost, you don't realize how much time and effort, not to mention money it took her to do that shit." Gaz raised an eyebrow at the older man, jutting his chin towards your unconscious form.

Gaz knew all about your gacha game and just how much you treasured it, always wanting to have your characters done the second they drop, he wasn't a stranger to them himself but nearly not as dedicated as you were.

Many a time he was subjected to infodumps about the new banner coming out, or the new update, you excitedly telling him all about it regardless of where you two were, sometimes even on missions when it was slow and uneventful.

He knew you had won the character when he heard you curse and loudly scream. All he could do was softly smile and shake his head fondly.

It was good you had something to look forward to every day and month, something to give you routine and stability, he may not like the game much but he loves it for the fact that it makes you happy.

"How long did she stay awake to even do it? Didn't even look up just now." Ghost mumbles, none too gently pulling out his chair and letting his body drop into it.

"She stayed up til 2am."  Gaz shrugs, saying it like it's common knowledge. He moves to take off his army issued jacket, gently drapping it on your shoulder, tucking in the collar to block your face from the fluorescent light.

"She what."

[for-yoongi0309]

SUGA | Agust D ‘D-DAY’ world tour report

A liberation journal of SUGA, Agust D, and Min Yoongi

SUGA became the first in BTS to go on a solo world tour with “SUGA | Agust D TOUR D-DAY” (We will refer to it as “D-DAY” from now on). Just as the title suggests, the tour showcases the Agust D Trilogy, consisting of Agust D (2016), D-2 (2020), and D-Day released in April this year. The concerts serve as a record of SUGA’s life over the past seven years or more. It is a page that transparently reveals his current self and also “a very honest performance” according to his words. With only the encore shows remaining, we have drawn up a “D-DAY” tour report including detailed behind-the-scenes and comments from SUGA about how he put his concert together.

SUGA kicked off his tour with a two-day concerts in New York on April 26 and 27. He successfully completed 11 shows in 5 cities across North America before returning to Asia to hold 12 more shows in Jakarta, Kanagawa, Bangkok, and Singapore. The tour concluded with two shows in Seoul June 24 and 25, successfully completing a total of 25 shows in 10 cities. Despite the tight schedule involving flying between multiple cities in a short span of time, SUGA added an additional show in both Bangkok and Singapore, managing to perform three shows per week in each of his tour stops in Asia. About the demanding schedule of touring ten different cities in a limited time, BIGHIT MUSIC’s head of Performance Directing Team 1 Lee Byung Eun, who directed the show’s performance and choreography, said that it reflected “almost 90% of [SUGA’S] will” to “continue on with the flow.” The tour holds significance as it marks SUGA’s return to arena-sized venues after a long period of performing in stadiums as a BTS member. Ha Jung Jae, Lead Professional at the HYBE 360 Concert Production 1 Studio, the group that directed the concert, said the main advantage of performing in an arena is being able to get closer to the audience, adding that, “indoor arenas with a ceiling allowed for a different type of performance (compared to previous BTS performances). “The arenas I’ve visited during the tour are places I’d been to at least once before, so it brings back a lot of memories.” says SUGA, adding, “I felt a strong sense of how well we’ve been doing for a long time”. The grand finale of this long journey will be the encore shows scheduled for August 4-6 at Seoul’s KSPO Dome.

“Through this performance, SUGA aims to eliminate all the different personas that exist in the world he created and be reborn. In that sense, “D-DAY” can be interpreted as the end of everything, or the beginning, like a birthday”. According to Ha Jung Jae, “D-DAY” is where “the end and the beginning coexist”. The second VCR “Kill Them All” scenes depict the intertwined relationships between SUGA, Agust D, and Min Yoongi, leading to their killing each other, symbolizing the end of the “Agust D Trilogy”. On the other hand, in the “Thanks to” letter section of the album D-DAY, SUGA writes, “The intense struggles I had in my head had no clear answers, and after a long time, I am reborn as the present me, on that D-DAY.” This is why Ha Jung Jae named the last VCR “Re Born” and strategically placed “D-Day” as the next song.

“I wanted to make a two-hour show that flowed organically from start to finish like a single, cohesive entity,” says SUGA. Ha Jung Jae says he put in efforts to select only the “absolutely necessary songs” and arrange them densely together in the setlist. BIGHIT MUSIC’s A&R 1 Team Leader Shin Daye, who planned the arrangement direction of the setlist, explains “although it was his first solo concert, he had enough repertoire to perform because he had already released three albums,” adding that the arrangement was directed to “make all songs flow organically” following the dramatic development. Ha Jung Jae said that the setlist composition from “Haegeum” to “The Last” represents a process of reaching from D-100(%) to D-0(DAY), explaining that “if the opening act is at 100%, as in it is perfectly produced, things get closer to “zero (O)” towards the end of the show.” According to Lee Byung Eun, this is why spectacular and eye-catching performances like “Daechwita” are placed at the beginning of the show, “to keep the tension as high as possible without giving the audience a break.” As the performance heats up with the second VCR “Kill Them All” and “after the stage created for the show and the many personas that SUGA had created in the past all burn down,” the flow transitions into the one that showcases his voice and determination. After performing “AMYGDALA”, the last song before the encore, SUGA collapses on stage and is carried away by his dancers. According to Ha Jung Jae, this signifies being reborn after erasing everything and dying, with the last VCR “Re Born” as the turning point. This is also the reason why the following encore performance, consisting of “D-Day”, “INTRO : Never Mind”, and “The Last”, primarily feature songs where the reborn SUGA “can share his personal stories of what’s on his mind with just a microphone”.

“Whether it’s SUGA, Agust D, or Min Yoongi, I think this performance embodies the essence of who I am as a person.” SUGA refers to the show as “the integration of all the data I’ve accumulated since I first stepped on the stage 15-16 years ago.” Considering that Agust D’s music is based on documentation of SUGA’s personal life, the show had to start out from the “person” SUGA is. “While preparing for the concert, I had many conversations with SUGA. It was a process of synchronizing myself to SUGA as a person. We talked about past memories, current thoughts, and the future.” says Ha Jung Jae. According to Lee Byung Eun,“It was impossible for the stage setting, production, and direction to move separately” and that is why the entire staff, including SUGA, “had to work together from the very beginning.” Before the first song “Haegeum” starts, SUGA is supported by the dancers as he ascends to the stage, and after “AMYGDALA”, he collapses and is carried offstage

According to Ha Jung Jae, “It all started with wanting to break the mold.” The tour itself was a process of constantly breaking the mold. Ha Jung Jae explained the intention behind the stage production, stating, “In BTS concerts, there is an unspoken rule that the stage should have a 17-meter-wide and 10-meter-long space to accommodate a minimum of seven members and 20 dancers. So this time, we thought we’d eliminate the performance area required for synchronized choreography.” Starting with “give it to me”, a portion of the stage panels becomes entangled with wires and begins to ascend to the ceiling, and as the show progresses, more panels disappear. By the end of the show, there is only enough space for SUGA to stand still. Lee Byung Eun says, “Limitations in using the stage space made the performance design not very easy, but I saw the space under the stage as available, considering that the audience had a 360-degree view.” That is why during “Interlude : Shadow”, the dancers use the floor beneath the stage to perform and create a mirage-like backdrop around SUGA during “People Pt.2 (feat. IU).” All of this is part of the journey toward liberation. When asked about his intention of designing the stage in a way that exposes its rustic steel structure that gives an impression of being built crudely without a graceful or flashy appearance, Ha Jung Jae said, “I wanted to build a conceptually driven stage, a stage born out of necessity. By the time the show reaches near the end, I wanted everything to be destroyed, burned, erased, and reduced to the primordial stage of “zero (O).” He also explained that the staff’s action of seemingly dismantling the stage as “The Last” performance comes to an end is intended to make the audience perceive the stage devices as “unnatural, created elements” and convey the desire to “eliminate everything unnatural.”

“A production trying to break with the past”, as Lee Byung Eun says, is a reflection of the intention of SUGA’s voluntary elimination and liberation of all the personas created by SUGA himself. This is why Ha Jung Jae compares the storytelling of the VCRs where SUGA’s many personas kill each other to a potter “repeating the process of making and breaking the pottery.” For example, the hand with chains in the visual playing behind SUGA during “give it to me” belongs to the 3D-modeled SUGA that appears on the screen during “Agust D,” implying that another SUGA is watching over the performing SUGA from outside the stage. This is to convey the message that everything offstage and onstage are done by SUGA himself. As for SUGA’s calm exit without any ending remarks or farewells immediately after performing “The Last”, Ha Jung Jae says, “the moment the song ends, we cut off everything even before SUGA exits the stage. So, there’s no background music, and lights are turned on immediately, cutting off any lingering emotions from the performance. And as SUGA turns around and walks away at that moment, those three seconds show the real SUGA. We wanted the audience, staff, and SUGA to just be themselves for that fleeting moment.” The “fleeting moment”, as described by Ha Jung Jae, seems to embody the liberation from the obligation to show and convey something in a performance. By the end of the performance, which shows SUGA’s present self through the beauty of empty space, SUGA finally reaches a moment of liberation where he breaks free from the names he has created in the past and is reborn. “Through this ‘D-DAY’ tour, I was able to release my pent-up passion and love for performing, which have been suppressed during the three years of the pandemic. And I feel that this tour itself is a ritual and act of forgiving all my past selves.”

“Bringing back the music from seven years ago and performing it on stage again was made possible thanks to the love and support from so many people who have been waiting for me. It’s all because of them.” As SUGA says, the songs in the setlist “Agust D”, “give it to me”, and “The Last” are from his 2016 mixtape Agust D and they were given a new life through the tour. “This tour has been a long time in the making, so all I could think about was how much I wanted to actually start the tour,” said SUGA, recalling his anticipation before his first show in New York. “It’s been so long since the last tour. One reason I started a music career was because I loved performing on stage. So, I wanted to put the stage before anything else,” says SUGA on why he chose a tour as the main promotion for his new album, D-DAY.

For “Life Goes On”, SUGA plays the “brown piano” with a calm expression and sings, “Fortunately, our relationship hasn't changed all along / Let's greet each other, not with a bye, but hello.” The “D-DAY” tour is the moment of SUGA’s reunion with ARMY that he longed for in BTS’ “Life Goes On” and Agust D’s “Life Goes On.” “People who love his music still came to see him even though it’d been a long time since SUGA had performed there last time. It was sort of proof that ARMY was alive and well,” said Ha Jung Jae, recalling the atmosphere of Jakarta. “Thinking how much fans must have wanted to see me perform, I wanted to show them everything they wanted to see,” said SUGA. He tirelessly moved around the stage, interacting with the ARMY, and played the guitar signed by BTS members while singing “Trivia 轉 : Seesaw.”. “I wanted to show how much I’ve transformed over the last three years”, says SUGA, by playing “the guitar I took up during the pandemic.”

SUGA talked about the joy of “having a strong connection with the audience during a performance.” “During this tour, I realized that the audience should always have fun and enjoy themselves. And for that, I have to do my best on stage.” Lee Byung Eun says that it was “a performance that both the audience and SUGA enjoyed,” noting that he could sense SUGA’s happiness, joy, and freedom even from below the stage. “Before the show, we had concerns about performing tracks from Agust D that contain personal stories and unfiltered expressions. But after seeing the audience from different countries and regions enjoying the performance in their own way, I realized that more than half of the show is created by the audience.” As Shin Daye says, during the show, SUGA sings the music of Agust D, an alter-ego he created to express his inner anxiety and anger, but with a smile and together with the audience. He passionately sings songs that contain his extremely personal stories throughout the two hours, yet there is no longer a sense of sadness or anger in his demeanor. Today’s SUGA taps lightly on his shoulder, sings, “my shoulder shattered thanks to the accident I met during my part-time job as a delivery guy” (“The Last”) and casually walks out of the stage as if nothing has happened. When asked in Suchwita about which part of his life “D-DAY” represents, SUGA replied, “I think it’s about now.” His subsequent comments about his current state of mind suggest that the “D-DAY” world tour is perhaps the clearest representation of SUGA’s “now.” “I feel more content and carefree than ever before. I’m just so happy to be able to relax and have fun during the show as if I’m going to hang out and have fun with the audience.”

To ARMY for coming to the concert SUGA: In many ways, I’m glad I decided to do this tour. I remember every moment vividly. I always try to remember every single moment when I perform, but this time, in particular, no matter which city or country I visited, the audience was so welcoming and greeted me with loud cheers. I tried my best to match that energy. Whenever the instrumental for “Haegeum” comes on and the band starts to play, and the audience screams, I get so much energy to sing that I feel like I’m almost a new person. I think that’s why every moment stands out in memory. Thank you so much for your love and support for the tour. I felt and learned a lot through this tour. I can’t wait to go on a tour again with all seven of us. Maybe if I just close my eyes and open them, the seven of us will be on tour together. (laughs) Please wait a little bit, holding on to the good memories and positive feelings from this tour. I would appreciate it.

Article. Song Hooryeong

Design. paperpress.kr

Visual Director. Jeon Yurim

[clotpolesonly]

nano day 12

daily word count: 1821

total word count: 21,701

[wtf-yoongi]

Softie. / MYG

pairing | yoongi x reader

summary | just a morning with min yoongi 🥺

prompts | “i love you more than coffee.” *distant gasps* + “every morning you kiss my forehead before i leave for work, why was it my lips today?” from this prompt list.

genre/warnings | disgustingly fluffy + very domestic

words | 1,990

note | i wanted to write something like this and then it fitted the prompt someone requested two ages ago and it became way too long for a timestamp and here we are

Very rarely does something beat the smell of black tea in the morning. Not any black tea, but this one in particular.

Forget it, nothing beats it.

The earthy tones coming from the leaves are enough to get you excited about your day and you’re careful not to scoop too much from the fancy, squared, tin box. It is, after all, precious and expensive — it seems like it gets pricier and pricier every time you restock it, almost to the point you’re begging the clerk for a discount.

You know it’s too much and you should stop spending money with that, the same money that could buy you enough tea for a whole year, but this is exactly the way luxury items go. Just above average, pretty packaging, minimalistic logo and a warm feeling in your heart from doing something special for yourself.

Like a ritual, you twirl the spoon and breathe in the steam coming from the pot before closing the lid. The instructions say you should brew it for three minutes and you’re proud to say you haven’t got that wrong once — not even on the day of your sister’s wedding, when she called saying she burned her ring finger, accidentally saw her fiancée and there was a real possibility of them not moving forward with the ceremony that day.

Even though she married with the ring on her middle finger, since the other one was bandaged, everything worked out. A little bit like a sitcom from the 90’s, but it did — in the end, it always did. That’s why you spend way too much money on that tea, because something about it makes things just work somehow. It’s unexplainable, quite magical and, to be honest, a little childish, but you love it.

Naturally, your hands start moving while the three minutes pass, refilling the kettle with water when you hear the shower stop running like you do every single day. In between the tea being served on a mug and his lazy morning footsteps, there’s only enough time for you to eat your peach yogurt.

“Hmm,” he hums and you can hear him getting closer as he speaks. “Treating yourself today, huh?”

You guess Yoongi can smell the black tea as well.

As you’re focused on adding the perfect amount of honey to your mug, there’s no time to turn or even look up at him coming into the kitchen with a sleepy and sweet look on his face. In such a small room, it only takes a heartbeat for him to stand next to you, leaving a quick kiss on your temple and short squeeze on the curve of your hips.

“Any special occasion I should know of?”

“Not really.” You shrug and, for a moment, Yoongi’s aftershave replaces the smell of tea completely. It’s fresh, clean and light, like most things he enjoys without noticing. “I just wanted something different.”

“I’m jealous, I want something fancy too,” he says without any weight to his voice, reaching for the coffee beans placed at the farthest corner of the pantry — the ones he also saves for very few mornings. “Did you sleep well?”

You nod quickly and excitedly, turning ninety degrees to open the refrigerator in search of milk. “I had to. There’s this big presentation today I’ve been preparing for five…”

“So there is something special going on.”

You stop in your tracks to look at Yoongi’s knowing smile, coffee grinder in front of him rumbling and doing its job while he waits.

“You’re a creature of habit, you know that, right? You wouldn’t drink this specific tea if something wasn’t going on.”

You smile at him, finally moving again to add a dash of milk to the mug and mixing it to check if it was enough. “If you weren’t so emotionless, I’d say that’s romantic.”

“Oh, you want romantic?” Yoongi’s tone goes up an octave, mocking you a little. “Fine. How about I love you more than coffee. In fact, I love you more than the smell of freshly ground beans in the morning and you know I love that very much. How about that, huh?”

It’s your turn to mock his words. “Oh, wow,” you gasp, raising a hand to the center of your chest. “How am I going to move on from this? I better email them saying I won’t be able to make it today. After this? Woof! No way I’ll be presenting anything but fifty slides of my favorite Yoongi pick-up lines.”

“That would be a satisfied client, don’t you think?” He plays along, adding the coffee to a French press and topping it with the water you just boiled. “Oh, do you want some toast? I feel like eating toast for some reason.”

And just like that, with Yoongi reaching for the toaster above your head, you’re both interested in something else. He pinches your side with his free hand and you take a step to your left, giving him enough space to place the appliance on top of the marble counter.

“You do have time for toast, right?” Yoongi asks as he turns it on and starts looking for bread. “I don’t want to make you late, the first two can be yours.”

“The tea is still a little too hot, I have time.”

“Good.” He nods shortly. “Sit down. These will be done in no time.”

You watch as Yoongi reaches for plates, knives, butter, strawberry jam and places all of them on the small kitchen table. Meanwhile, you sip the tea slowly, quietly enjoying it and, deep down, wishing for it to work its magic once again.

“Are you nervous about the presentation?” Yoongi asks just as he places two perfectly toasted slices of bread in front of you. He soon moves back to set two more on the toaster and turns to you again, waiting for an answer.

“I’m okay. It’s been worse.” You shrug, focusing on the butter as it melts when it meets the warm toast. “This client is nice. Even if they don’t agree with something, it’s not like…”

“Don’t bring Mr. Moon up again,” Yoongi warns you, slightly uncomfortable and somewhat ready to politely offend Mr. Moon if he ever showed up in front of him. “I’m still not over that. Who does he think he is to mistreat everyone because of a grammar mistake?”

You laugh at the way he seems so bothered by that. “It was a good thing, though, don’t you think? We kicked him out because we didn’t need his business if it meant we had to deal with that.”

“Serves him right,” he huffs. “He was being an ass for a long time, the grammar incident was just the tipping point.”

“And you don’t even know about the emails he sent to the junior analysts. He would literally…”

“Please,” Yoongi interrupts with a tight smile and warm eyes, nothing but light humor in his words. “Don’t make me hate him more. This is bad for myself, I have to be the better person.”

“You’re right,” you agree with a smile, taking a bite and adding a few words in a muffled voice. “He’s a problem of the past. And a solved one, thank God.”

You swallow just as Yoongi sits in front of you with perfectly done toasts for himself. He adds butter and strawberry jam to both of them before speaking again. “I’m glad you’re not nervous about this stuff anymore.”

“I’m glad too,” you admit and take a sip of the magical tea before continuing. “Shaky hands are also a problem of the past.”

“I want you to know I’m very proud of you. This sort of thing is not easy to overcome.” 

You giggle. “Yoon, you’re getting soft again.”

“When am I not?” He takes a bite and soon covers his mouth, not being able to stop a smile from forming. “I am a softie, this is who I am.”

“No, but you’re particularly soft today, I think. It all started when you were whining about me leaving the bed,” you say while getting up to place your plate in the sink. When you turn around, Yoongi is looking at you with what you can only describe as adoring eyes. “See? This is what I mean. Do you have a mirror? Look at yourself, there’s nothing not soft about you today.”

He’s the one giggling now, motioning for you to move with the hand that’s not busy with a toast. “Go finish getting ready, you’re going to be late!”

You hurry out of the kitchen with a smile, soon entering the bathroom to brush your teeth. It’s still kind of foggy, nothing but the perfume of Yoongi’s shower gel everywhere, and you have to wipe the mirror with a towel to see yourself properly.

The nervousness could be worse, yes, but it’s still there a little — well, today is the day you’ve been preparing for the last five weeks and there’s a lot at stake. You inhale and exhale deeply, concentrating on the goal rather than the challenge. What happens, happens, but you’re pretty sure you’ve done everything you could and that’s enough to leave you satisfied no matter the outcome.

“Yoongi, I’m leaving!” You call out, fixing a strap on your shoulder and immediately feeling the weight of the laptop and the heavy (but pretty) leather notebook you bought last fall — another one of the luxury items you treated yourself with. When you look up, the man is standing with another one of his knowing smiles and a thermos in hand.

“Were you really not going to drink every single drop of the tea you spend way too much money on?” He raises an eyebrow, extending his arm so you can take the travel mug from him. “I know you’re good and don’t need the magic from the tea, but…”

“Shut up,” you say jokingly, slapping his hand in the process. “And thank you.”

“Come here.”

Yoongi slowly takes a step to meet you halfway, hug awkward given the weight on your shoulder, but you couldn’t care less. He’s warm, inviting and has a comforting hand on your back while the other moves to cradle your jaw.

“I told you you’re particularly soft today,” you say just as he creates enough space to look into your eyes. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Yoongi mumbles before pressing a kiss on your lips. You barely have time to register what is going on or close your eyes and it’s already over.

“Are you sure? Because every morning you kiss my forehead before I leave for work,” you point out, one eyebrow raised in doubt, but eyes as soft as his. “Why was it my lips today?”

“You may not notice, but the taste of black tea and honey on your lips…” He hums, closing his eyes to show just how much he likes it. “So good.”

“But I brushed my teeth.”

He leans in again and, this time, stays for a while longer — not barely enough for you, but you’d take anything with a smile.

Yoongi shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter. Still there.” He turns both your bodies, getting them closer and closer to the door. “Do you think this happens because the tea is that good and strong? Or maybe it’s because you don’t really do a good job brushing your teeth…”

“Ah, Yoongi!"

Before you know it, Yoongi is simultaneously opening the door, leaving another kiss on the corner of your mouth and pushing your body out. It seems like only a second has passed, but you find yourself right in front of the door when Yoongi is inside with only his head peeking through. 

“Don’t just stand there, you’re going to be late! Call me when the presentation is over and you have a yes, okay?”

He closes the door, but you can still hear him giggle on the inside.

Read more ›› masterlist

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

My dearest bouncey! I have a prompt for you if you like: Witchers as a 90s/2000s boyband 😂🤷‍♀️💖💖💖

Ellie, darling, this started as 500 words and turned into like 3.2k words and also a piece of art so... thank you so much. also shout out to my amazing art pal @mawbwehownets for the little comic!!

this contains lots of 90′s/early 2000′s nostalgia so there is also that

tw: hornyish, smooching, perilous music video situations (corny)

---

“Do I have to?” Geralt groans, letting his forehead thud down against the linoleum surface of their tour bus’s shitty dining table.

“Yes,” Vesemir says. His tone leaves no room for argument or whining. “But what if I let you pick the winner personally?”

“There have to be like fifteen thousand letters to go through! How will I manage that in less than two days?”

“There were a few more than fifteen thousand applications, Geralt. There were probably closer to five hundred thousand.”

Lambert wolf whistles and Aiden claps.

Geralt grimaces and keeps his face hidden against the table, releasing a slightly muffled: “Fuck.”

“Language,” Vesemir frowns. He tugs gently at Geralt’s loose ponytail and the singer lifts his head up from the table again, looking at his manager with beseeching eyes. “Anyway, we’ve narrowed it down to about fifty. You can go through those and choose whichever person you’d like to play your love interest. But you have to give me an answer by Friday. The shoot is in three weeks and whoever wins this stupid competition will need time to make arrangements.”

“I thought we were footing the bill for their food and their hotel room,” Geralt raised an eyebrow. “What would they need to arrange?”

“Not everyone can board their pets at the flick of a wrist, dude,” Lambert scoffs from his seat on the couch. Aiden lies draped across his lap, as usual, and the two of them are halfheartedly watching The Lion King. They can only watch movies when the bus is stationary, otherwise the VHS player might move too much while running and damage the film inside the cassette. Even taking advantage of such a rare opportunity, Lambert and Aiden still seem more interested in each other than Jonathan Taylor Thomas’s voice acting. 

“Lambert has a point,” Vesemir sighs. He scrubs his hand over his lightly whiskered face like a tired grandparent and sighs again, more heavily. “It’ll be good for you boys to have a normal person around for a few days. Maybe they’ll be able to put some things into perspective.”

Geralt can only roll his eyes a little bit and thank his manager regardless of his own feelings; he and the rest of TW5 owe the seasoned musical expert their entire careers. Without Vesemir’s help and mentorship they would never have made it past their first disastrous record deal. They certainly wouldn’t have reached the heights they’re at now, enjoying international fame and recognition. 

The begrudging frontman accepts a heavy plastic bin of file folders from Vesemir and sets them down next to his bunk. “Are these organized in any particular way?”

“Nope.”

“Cool.”

Geralt digs his hand into the pile and pulls out a piece of pale-pink stationary, eager to get started and, by extension, get finished. He can already tell that it’s going to be a long couple of days.

---

“I want this one, please, Ves.”

“Huh?” Vesemir looks up from his palm-pilot. Geralt is standing in front of him and trying to hand him something. 

“I want this guy to be in the music video with me.” Geralt holds out the letter again, fingers trapping the accompanying polaroid headshot with great care. A pair of bright blue eyes stares up from the photo, highlighting the subject’s bright smile and unruly mop of messy brown hair. Vesemir tries to hide his amusement; totally Geralt’s type, if the big oaf could admit to having one.

“Alright. I’ll get everything in order. We start shooting in two and a half weeks so get your asses to the gym, please.”

“Yes, Ves,” all five young men chorus. 

“Tomorrow,” Coen mutters a moment later than everyone else, not glancing up from his composition notebook. Vesemir nods in understanding. Coen is the best lyricist of the lot and it’s easier to let him work when inspiration strikes than beg him to focus when he can’t get a solitary idea to stick.

“So why’d you pick that one, Ger-bear?” Lambert drawls. Aiden nods and leans against Lambert’s side. Geralt can’t help the mild jealousy that overtakes him every time he sees his bandmates touch each other with such casual affection. He wants that intimacy, that softness behind the veneer of famous indifference. He wants someone to hold. 

“Yeah. What drew your attention to that poor unfortunate soul. Was it the floppy hair, the big blue eyes, or the dopey grin?” Aiden smirks.

“Hmm.”

“Fuck you,” Eskel sighs, looking between the two troublemakers with the tired gaze of an eldest sibling, “Fuck you for even asking in the first place and expecting a straight answer.”

“Straight is the furthest thing from his answer,” Lambert chuckles. He is promptly smacked in the head with one of the couch’s hideous throw pillows. The youngest member of the band rubs the side of his face and chuckles, “Alright, I deserved that one.”

---

“Holy shit!” Jaskier practically screams. “Holy motherfucking shit!”

“What!?” Yennefer comes flying around the corner. “What’s wrong!?”

“Nothing is wrong, Yenna! Everything is awesome! Everything absolutely fucking rocks!”

“Did you get hit on the head by a falling branch between here and the mailbox or what? You were whining about your finals work not five min-”

“Look at this!” Jaskier shoves an open envelope into her hands and cuts her off. Yennefer reads the watermarked documents once. Twice. Her eyes almost pop out of her head when the words and their meanings finally sink in. 

“Are you fucking with me right now?”

“No, I am absolutely not!” her giddy roommate cheers, bouncing up and down in place. “I did it! I won!”

“Holy shit.”

“I know! I get to kiss Geralt deRiv!” he practically cackles. Then freezes. “Holy fuck I get to kiss Geralt deRiv.”

“You said that already,” Yen teases. She shoves the paperwork back into his hands and grabs a takeout menu from the junk drawer near her hip. “Since you won the makeout lottery, you get to buy lunch. Lucky bastard.”

---

“So this will be your dressing room,” someone’s underpaid PA says, ushering Jaskier into a small, bright room. “Priscilla will be here shortly to get you into hair and makeup.”

“Oh, uh- thanks!”

“Yup.”

And with that, the young man disappears back down the hallway toward the sound stage. Jaskier jogs his leg anxiously as he waits for Priscilla to arrive, nervous and otherwise totally alone in the huge grey building. As the minutes tick by and his heart rate rises, Jaskier’s intrusive thoughts make an unwanted appearance: What if they forget about me being here? What if there’s been a mistake and they accidentally hired two love interests and I just sit in here for hours all alone while-

“Hi!” a bright, peppy blonde woman flies through the door and startles him back to reality. “Nice to meet you, I’m Priscilla! You can call me Priss; I’ll be doing your hair and makeup for the video this week!”

“Oh… hi. I’m Julian, but I prefer Jaskier.”

“Lovely! Well, Jaskier, is your hair naturally this color?”

“Y-Yes?”

“Perfect! I don’t want to mess with such a lovely shade of natural brown, but do you mind if I give it a bit of a trim? I have a few ideas for styles right here in my book- How do you feel about some feathering back here? I think-” she fluffs a few of the hairs around the nape of Jaskier’s neck “-I could really bring out the curls if I adjusted the length a bit and used some product.”

“Just, uhm, go for it, then! Feel free to make me as pretty as possible!” Jaskier declares. He’s committing to this experience wholeheartedly, determined to allow himself every opportunity for positive change. He wants to really let himself enjoy it, and he needs a haircut anyway. Priscilla spends an hour washing, cutting, drying, and styling his hair into a lovely fringed sweep across his forehead. It ends just above his brows, giving his face a slightly softer shape than usual. He grins over his shoulder, “I love it! I’m going to miss you when I’m back at Oxenfurt. Good stylists are so hard to find.”

Priss blushes and nudges against his shoulder, “Oh, you little charmer.”

“I mean it,” he says, examining himself in the mirror. “I look like I could really be worthy of a heroic rescue! This is going to be such a fantastic memory, and I appreciate it. Thank you so much.”

Priss bites back a genuine tear and smiles, “Now that your natural prettiness has been mildly enhanced, let’s get you over to wardrobe, shall we?”

“Wardrobe? Do I have, like, a costume? What’s the music video even about?”

“They didn’t tell you any of this when you got here?”

“Not… not really.”

“Well, my darling, I think you’re really going to like it; they’ve got you in Versace for the first scene.”

“Versace!?” 

Then Jaskier is being ushered into a bright, colorful room full to bursting with grim-faced, middle-aged women and he loses track of his only braincell for the rest of the morning.

---

“You must be Julian!” Lambert declares, bounding up to him and grinning. It’s a feral, animalistic grin and Jaskier resists the sudden urge to take a step back.

“I prefer Jaskier, if you don’t mind too much,” Jaskier corrects him quietly. Lambert rolls his eyes in a long-suffering kind of way and throws a meaty arm around the shorter man’s shoulders, completely ignoring the wardrobe technician’s wincing as he wrinkles the expensive silk jacket. 

“No need to be quiet and polite around here, my dude. We’re just a bunch of rowdy idiots, aren’t we, guys?” 

“Hell yeah!” Aiden calls back. Eskel sighs like the put-upon nanny in a Victorian Redanian comedy. 

“Speak for yourself,” Coen barely lifts his frosted tips up from his book long enough to speak. Geralt is-

Holy motherfucking Britney Spears on toast.

Geralt is the hottest thing Jaskier has ever seen in his short, unfulfilled-until-right-now life. Forget Ralph Macchio. Forget Leonardo Dicaprio and Kate Winslet and Winona Ryder. This man is… Geralt deRiv is… he’s the picture of perfection. And he’s right there, standing in front of an elaborate party set with his thick, beautiful arms crossed over his chest and his eyes trained on the floor, as if willing it to swallow him whole. Jaskier realizes that he probably didn’t have any choice in the matter; maybe this was just as awkward and uncomfortable for Geralt as it was for Jaskier. 

“Ger-bear!” Lambert whoops, yanking Jaskier closer to the brooding frontman. If only he were brave enough to struggle for escape; alas. “This is your boy-toy for the week. Goes by Jaskier, apparently.”

“Nice to meet you,” Geralt manages to grunt. “How did you like the script?”

“I haven’t uh- I haven’t actually seen it?”

“Shit. Fuck. One second,” Geralt huffs, disappearing into the crowd of technicians and machinery operators and PAs. Jaskier loves him already, for real. Sure, he was pretty in the music videos and promo material, but the way he said fuck like it was the noblest word he could think of… Geralt interrupts his train of thought by coming back with a sheaf of papers clutched in his hand. He shuffle-shoves them into Jaskier’s arms immediately. “There you go.”

“Thank you!” Jaskier smiles. It’s genuine and shy, more tenuous than his usual goofy grin. He flips through the pages, glancing between the script to his expensive suit, “So I’m guessing we’re at a party for this scene? Or something?”

“This is… where we meet. This is where… you and I uh…”

Jaskier’s eyes scan the page as Geralt’s ability to speak slowly leaves him. 

Lover ENTERS LEFT, dressed to the nines. Lover adjusts their tie/boa and takes a look around the room. S/He looks sad and a little hopeful. PULL BACK to Geralt, who approaches slowly. Their eyes meet. HOLD SHOT. PULL BACK as they move towards each other. Geralt pulls Lover into his arms and they begin to dance.

“Oh, wow.”

“I hope it’s okay! If you’re not comfortable with that kind of thing we can-”

“I’ll be alright, thank you. I came here to put my acting chops to the test. Well, that and meet my favorite band, of course. Thank you again, by the way. It’s been wonderful so far and I really appreciate you allowing me to be here.”

“Allowing? Psh. Geralt ha-” Lambert is cut off by Aiden, who elbows him sharply in the side. “Ow! What the fuck, babe?”

“I knew it!” Jaskier crows, distracted. “I knew you two were an item!”

“They’re not exactly subtle.”

“They never confirm anything either,” Jaskier retorts. Geralt shrugs his acknowledgement and moves back towards the set. Jaskier follows after the taller man like a lost puppy, eyes flicking from one thing to the next, hungry for detail even in his anxiety ridden state. This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and he doesn’t want to waste a solitary second of it. “This is incredible, really just...wow. You guys do this all the time? You get to make tiny little movies for already great songs that you get to perform for millions of adoring fans? And you get paid!?”

Geralt hadn’t ever really thought about it like that. He’d been raised in the industry. He’d signed to Kaer Morhen Records as an early teen because his mother was a member of the Board of Directors and he’d been making music ever since; an outsider’s perspective to things was… new. A little strange. “Yeah, I guess that is pretty much what we do.”

“Wow.”

“It’s not that exciting, I promise.”

“Have you ever written a fifteen page paper about the history of lute-string design and manufacturing?” 

“No.”

“Then kindly shut the fuck up about what I should consider exciting,” Jaskier grins. Geralt is immediately and irrevocably smitten. Fuck. It hasn’t even been fifteen minutes! “So, which door am I entering from?”

“Left,” Geralt points. Jaskier skips over and begins to introduce himself to the sound and lights crew. His smile seems to be as infectious as his cheer and soon the entire set crew is smiling at one another. There’s been a literal shift in the atmosphere; if he didn’t know any better, the TW5 frontman thinks Jaskier might be some kind of magical creature, because he can’t just be human. Geralt is well and truly fucked, and everyone in the band already knows.

---

“What do you think?” Jaskier asks, slipping anxiously from behind the changing screen. The Versace is gone and in its place are a pair of tight, high-waisted blue pleather pants and a billowing white shirt, which has been strategically ripped in several places to reveal slivers of the lightly tanned skin that lies beneath. He looks like he’s in desperate need of rescuing. He looks like every fantasy Geralt has ever had about the perfect guy. He looks like a fucking dream.

“Nice,” he says.

Lambert and Aiden wolf-whistle and cheer as they approach. Aiden claps twice, loudly, and shoots Jaskier a set of finger guns, “Hot damn, baby. You single? You lookin’ to mingle? Because I am bi and spoon like a Pringle.”

“First of all, babe, I love you but that was the most horrific combination of words yet known to man. Second of all, yeah, I’d dump Aiden for you for sure,” Lambert adds. Jaskier is at a total loss for words. His mouth hangs open and his breath comes in uneven little gasps for a moment.

“Uh… I- Thank you?”

“Oh god, Eskel! Eskel, he’s short circuiting, do something.”

“You absolute-” Eskel groans and makes his way over to the gathered group. He tugs Jaskier away and over to the other end of the set, where a comically huge rocket/bomb (Jaskier can’t tell) is standing at the center of a vaguely science-themed room. A laboratory, maybe? Or like, a really weird spacecraft? A hospital run by rocket scientists? It doesn’t matter, it’s the Evil Lair of the Villain and that’s where Jaskier is being held captive. “Here, Cameron and Elise will help you get set up for the next scene. I’m sorry about the boys they’re... gay?”

“I understand,” Jaskier nods sagely and Eskel relaxes. Then for comedy’s sake he adds an equally dramatic, “I too am... gay.”

The set dresser, an electrician, and a few specialists (likely a rope rigger among them) come over and tie Jaskier to the bomb/rocket/villainous mechanism, ending his conversation with Eskel, who is now in a much better mood than he was before. 

Jaskier is told to make sure his hands are crossed behind the small of his back and the director instructs him to wiggle back and forth “as convincingly as possible without actually getting loose or moving the ropes too much”. Which is manageable, he supposes. 

“Then, when the chorus comes up, we’ll get a few shots of the boys dancing in front of you,” the director continues to explain. That’s… kind weird, but okay. I’ve seen weirder. “Then we’ll do the action shots, with Geralt rescuing you. Are you okay to do the kiss, or would you rather not? We have dynamic shots with or without, so it’s totally up to you.”

“I’m fine with that,” Jaskier smiles shyly. “I consent to be smooched.”

“Adorable,” Lambert calls. Jaskier blushes and the director shoots Lambert a glare. 

“He’s already pink enough, don’t make me change my gels you little shithead!”

“Sorry, Pierre!”

“Fucking sorry my ass,” Pierre grumbles beneath his breath. Then he smiles at Jaskier. “Do something nasty to him for me, will you? Not too nasty but… just a little?”

“I’ve got your back,” Jaskier winks. 

“No plotting! Not fair!” Aiden whines.

“You have a team,” Pierre retorts. “Now I have a team.”

“Rules are rules,” Eskel sighs. “Now can we please shoot this damn video?”

“Right,” Pierre claps, getting everyone’s attention. “Places!”

---

Geralt races up the stairs, trying to keep the long sleeves of his black mesh shirt from catching on any of the set pieces. The solid black t-shirt he’s wearing underneath makes his arms and back look bulkier than normal; it’s a visual technique to make him look larger than Jaskier, whose billowing white shirt will hide how wide his shoulders actually are. Fuck, those are some nice shoulders. And the smattering of dark chest hair that peeks from the front of the college student’s shirt? Geralt wants to bury his face in it.

Okay, focus. 

He reaches the top of the set and rushes towards Jaskier, ripping the ropes from around his torso and pulling him close. He cups the back of Jaskier’s head with his upstage hand, framing the slightly smaller man for the camera and making him seem even shorter, another trick of angles and body posturing. Geralt plays Jaskier like an instrument, bending him back by placing his downstage arm around Jaskier’s waist, pressing their mouths together and holding them still for as long as it takes the director to yell, “Cut!” with a satisfied tone of voice. 

Geralt’s suspicions are confirmed when Pierre laughs and claps some more and cries, “Print it, lads! That was a one-take wonder!”

He tries to ignore the way Jaskier’s shoulders slump as if disappointed. “Good job,” he manages to say.

“You, too.” Geralt wishes he could keep a picture of Jaskier smiling in his back pocket forever. No other sight could light up the world so effortlessly. “Thanks for being gentle.”

“I’m trying to sweep you off your feet,” the singer shrugs. Jaskier wiggles his eyebrows and follows Geralt down the narrow set stairs.

“Are you, really?”

“Is it working?” Geralt asks, turning to look up at Jaskier. The student pauses to look at him and his foot catches on an uneven board. He topples forward with a short cry of surprise and seems surprised when Geralt reaches out to catch him. “Jaskier!”

“Oh my god!” Lambert races over, Aiden hot on his heels. “Are you okay, dude?”

“I’m fine,”  Jaskier laughs, a little breathless. “Just a little shocked.”

“You should take him to get a snack or something,” Eskel says, nudging his shoulder against Geralt’s. “He’s been busy all day and hasn’t even been to craft services.”

“You haven’t eaten?” Geralt asks, honestly baffled. Jaskier shakes his head, face heating once again. He wishes he could stop blushing, but Geralt’s presence seems to make it impossible. He wraps one arm around the younger man’s temptingly slender waist and leads him towards the food carts. He shoves a couple of sandwiches and a bottle of punch into Jaskier’s hands, not giving him a chance to argue. “Here, I’ll have something, too.”

“Thanks,” Jaskier smiles, understanding that he is, in turn, being understood. They sit comfortable folding chairs off to the side, food spread across their laps. Jaskier laughs and chats around his mouthfuls, pulling things from Geralt like his favorite color and his least favorite nicknames. Songs he liked and dances he disliked. 

“You made it fun again, today,” the singer smiles. “Thank you for that. I wish you could be here for every video shoot.”

“Looking for another member of the band?” Jaskier jokes, doing some half-hearted jazz hands. Geralt shakes his head and laughs. 

“I wish we were,” he sighs. “But I guess five is the magic number.”

“Makes the dances look cooler,” Jaskier nods. “I agree with whoever made that decision. I wouldn’t dare ruin the aesthetic.”

Geralt laughs again and Vesemir turns to look, honestly shocked at the volume of the sound. 

“Plus, you can’t be the frontman if there’s no front.”

“Shut up,” Geralt chuckles, still grinning broadly. 

Vesemir makes a phone call.

---

2 Weeks Later, Backstage in Kaedwen

---

“He’s been sulking like this ever since Jaskier went back to Oxenfurt,” Lambert whines. “C’mon Vesemir, do something.”

“What do you want me to do, make Geralt’s boyfriend appear out of thin air?”

“Not my boyfriend,” Geralt growls, stomping past his bandmates and manager. He can’t help but feel grumpy. Jaskier had been like the sun, bringing light and wonder to everything he touched, and without that joy around it doesn’t seem worth the extra effort to smile. So he’s been moping. 

“Fucking hell,” Vesemir sighs. “Thank goodness I thought ahead.”

“What do you mean?” Eskel asks, joining the little group in the hallway outside the dressing room. “What did you think of?”

“Three,” Vesemir smiles, glancing at his watch. “Two… One…”

“Boooooys,” echoes a high tenor. “Where’s my welcome wagon, Vesemir?”

“Jaskier!” Aiden practically screams, leaping out of the dressing room and flying down the hall. Lambert follows at a sprint and Vesemir hears the resounding oof oh fuck of both giddy musicians hitting their mark. 

Geralt comes back down the hall at a jog, eyes searching frantically. “I thought I heard-”

“Geralt!”

Vesemir’s heart clenches in his chest at the way Geralt’s face lights up. At the end of the hallway, surrounded by spilled luggage and apologetic boyband members, is Jaskier. Geralt floats to him, it seems, like he’s dreaming the whole thing. Jaskier takes his hands and then releases them and wraps his arms low around Geralt’s hips instead. 

“I missed you the most,” he whispers, just for Geralt to hear. “Couldn’t sleep without listening to your CD. I know it’s silly but I really like you.”

“Jaskier,” Geralt whispers reverently into his shaggy brown hair. “What are you doing here?”

“I was going to do my thesis on pop culture’s relation to music history,” he says. “And then the manager of TW5 called Oxenfurt and offered me the opportunity to do some… first hand research while I worked on finishing the paper.”

“R-Really? You’re going to be here… every day?”

“Do you… do you not want me he-”

Geralt kisses him before he can even finish the question. It’s a stupid question anyway, of course Geralt wants him here. Wants him right here, kissing him silly. The singer presses his lips desperately, crushingly against Jaskier’s; he never wants to part from this man again. He never wants to be without that glorious laughter and contagious liveliness. Who knew that life could be so full of delight and happiness if he only let it? 

He kisses Jaskier for all he’s worth and more, pouring his heart and soul into it. When they pull apart, both gasping for air, Geralt asks, “Stay with me, Jaskier? You don’t have to do anything I just-”

“I’d love to be the big spoon,” Jaskier winks, whispering again. “Thank you, Geralt, for the rescue.”

[btsslowburnfic]

The Arrangement Ch. 16

Story summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable ad. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi

Chapter Summary: Dinner at the “Best Diner in Seoul.” (Still not a date though, right?)

Previous Chapter here

The two of you dropped the van off without any issues. You walked outside the rental agency, onto the main street stretching your arms overhead. You turned to face Yoongi, “Alright, are you ready for dinner at the best diner in Seoul?”

Yoongi smiled, glad you had rallied from earlier. He put his hands in his pockets. “The best? I don’t know; that’s a pretty high standard. This is a world-class city.”

You started to walk, “It is, and I have eaten a lot of places. This one is the best diner.”

Yoongi followed you to the subway station.  “Where is this diner?” He asked. The subway was uncrowded, with not much of a rush happening on Sunday night. You each scanned your cards. 

“It’s by work.”

Yoongi racked his brain trying to think of a diner near BigHit but wasn’t able to. He shrugged.

The subway car was mostly empty and the ride back to the city center was smooth. Yoongi scrolled through his phone. You got off and you led him down a few alleyways to an unassuming diner. It was truly a hole in the wall. 

The neon sign above the door, “Dynamite Diner,” had a few letters out: DYMT DNER. Yoongi chuckled slightly and made a confused face, but took your word for it as you opened the door. The inside of the diner was clean and brightly decorated. There was a counter with bright white stools and several cherry red booths around the perimeter. Donuts sat in a display case next to a vintage register up on the countertop.

“I should have brought my sunglasses,” Yoongi joked as he followed you over to one of the booths. You laughed and put both your personal and work phones on the table and stretched. You were certain you would be sore tomorrow from moving all those boxes. 

"What is that?" Yoongi asked, sounding mildly horrified as he gestured to your personal phone. 

"Oh this?" You held it up. You had jokingly changed your lock screen to the picture you took of him sleeping the other night to see how long it would take him to notice. "It's you, looking so adorable." 

His eyes widened "You put Tubby on me." 

"Aww is that the bear's name?” You turned the phone back towards you to look at it. “So cute". 

Yooongi touched his ear awkwardly, "It’s a dog, not a bear. Tubby was my family's pet growing up; our first dog. Anyways, I can't be your lock screen!" He pouted, a slight accent suddenly permeating his speech. 

You looked over at him, trying to keep a straight face. "Ok first of all it looks like a bear, but that it was your family’s dog makes it even more adorable. Secondly, it's my personal phone sooo…. Third. where are you from?”

“What...what does that...Daegu.”

You smirked and looked at your phone again. “I guess if it really bothers you I can change it, but look? It makes me smile." You held it up and grinned. 

The waitress came over, dropped off menus, and took your drink orders: Coffee, water, and a cup of ice for Yoongi.

"Oh my God, keep it." Yoongi opened his menu, clearly flustered. 

You laughed, "Are you sure?" 

"Yes, just stop showing it to me. Put it face down." 

You smiled and complied, then flipped through the menu. “Why did we both just order coffee?” You asked. “It’s 9 pm. That’s a terrible idea.”

“I can drink coffee and fall asleep, no problem.  What's good here?” 

“The noodles are really good. I'm getting the gaeranjim tonight. I used to come here after working at the bar since it's open 24/7.”

Yoongi looked over at, watching you scan the menu. You gave so much to the people you cared about." Spicy or regular?" 

"Huh?" You asked, bobbing your head back up. 

"Spicy noodles or plain?" 

"It's cold out, so you have to get spicy." You said it so matter of factly. 

“Ok, of course. Why did I even ask?” 

You put the menu down and grabbed your work phone.  "Let's see what this week brings. Meetings. Meetings. Sound mixing? Recording. Meet with Hoseok. Hair and make-up department. Photo shoot? Photo shoot?" 

Yoongi sat his menu down and interlaced his fingers in front of his face, resting his mouth against them. “Yep. They want new pictures for social media and for the album. My next album deadline is in 90 days but they begin all of this stuff in advance for things like printing and promos.” 

“Oooo so you'll be like a model?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes and the server walked up to the table. She sat down all of the drinks carefully. The two of you placed your food orders and handed in the menus.

“Min Yoongi. Model.' You teased, striking a pose. 

“Are you saying I'm not good looking enough to be a model?” He feigned offense while pouring his coffee over the ice and stirring it.

“Oh please, I told you at the job interview I thought you were good looking. It's just hard to imagine you sitting still and being pretty.” 

Yoongi rubbed the back of his neck. “Well it's in my contract. And my fans like it. As much as I hate parts about my job, I do love my fans. " He took a sip of his drink.

“That's sweet.” You smiled.

Yoongi blushed a little, “Well I wouldn't be where I am without them, right? You have to have an audience to be a performer. Someone has to listen, otherwise you're just screaming into the void.”

“I guess that makes sense. Being on the consumer side of things I never really thought of it like that. Huh.” You sat back in the booth thoughtfully and sipped some coffee. 

Yoongi looked out the glass window at the street outside. It had been a strange couple of weeks for him and yet this all felt normal. He couldn't remember the last time he had gone out to a restaurant with someone because he wanted to. He covered a yawn and looked back over at you. 

You were people watching in the diner. You were normally only here in the middle of the night. The bell above the entrance dinged and you saw Chinsun, your regular server, walk in to begin her night shift. You smiled as you remembered all the coffee and bullshit you had shared with her. There were nights you got off work at 3 and knew it made more sense to power through and go into the office. You decided you would talk to her later if she wasn't busy. 

The food came out a few minutes later.  Hunger had snuck up on you. You went from zero to famished. You began blowing on your meal.

“Y/N?” You heard the familiar voice of Chinsun “I haven't seen you in a while.” She had on her white and red work uniform and her graying hair done up in a bun.

You looked up from your eggs and smiled,  “Nice to see you. I quit working at the bar, I just have 1 job now.” You said happily. 

“That's great, you can only burn the candle from both ends for so long. I'm surprised you did it for as long as you did.” She responded.

You shrugged and took a sip of water. “Well we all do what we have to.”

“And?.... who is your friend?” Chinsun gestured to Yoongi who was mid-slurp on his noodles. Apparently he was also starving.

“This is my boss, Min Yoongi.”

He patted his mouth with a napkin before speaking, “Hello,” he bowed his head. “Nice to meet you.” 

“I’m Chinsun. It’s nice to meet you too.  Well I'll let you get back to your meal, I'm glad you stopped by, I was worried when I didn’t see you for a while. Make sure you two come back!”

“Thank you. You are so sweet. I’ll make sure to stop in again soon, take care.” You took a bite as soon as she left.

“These noodles are in fact, the best.” Yoongi appraised between slurps. 

“I told you. You can’t beat a hole in the wall diner sometimes. So...new album in 90 days? How’s it going?”

“It’s ok. A few songs are done. I got feedback from Adora last week so that was helpful. This album in general will be less….angry. Yeah less angry sounding.”

“Cool. What comes first, the music or the lyrics?”

“They are separate completely. The music and then I see if any of the  lyrics I’ve written match the mood. Sometimes it just goes together and sometimes it doesn’t.” 

“Interesting.”

Yoongi talked a bit more about the process of creating an album from start to finish. You had never put any thought into it so it was fascinating. The rest of your meal passed without incident and you were happy that when they brought the bill, Yoongi actually let you pay. 

You waved to Chinsun as you exited. Yoongi rubbed his stomach. “Too many noodles.”

You smiled and then looked up at the sky. It was beginning to snow. “No such thing. And look. What great timing. The first snow of the year.” 

“Gross.” He quickly replied.

“Ahahaha you really hate the cold don’t you?” You said as you held out your hand, watching the flakes land and melt almost instantly.

“I do. The snow is pretty though. I’ll look at it tomorrow from the warmth and safety of inside.”

“You’re no fun. I love the snow.” You played with it for a few more seconds. “Alright let’s get back.”  

The snow continued to fall as you began the short walk back to BigHit. It was so pretty. The sidewalk was almost empty and the snowfall made it seem even quieter than it was. You took your phone out and snapped a picture for Instagram. In a few minutes, you were back at the building. The two of you scanned your badges to enter the lobby and waved to the night security guard.

“I’m heading to the studio. You should take some aspirin and a hot bath.” Yoongi said while you waited for the elevator.

You reached over without thinking and dusted snowflakes off of his hair. “Do you need help with anything? I also had coffee, I’ll probably be up for a while.”

Yoongi was briefly unable to answer, still surprised from having been dusted. “Nope. I’m just going to write. Go, rest your muscles. Watch Netflix. Relax. You literally moved a small apartment’s worth of stuff today.”

The two of you got on the elevator. “Alright. If you insist. I’m not going to argue with that. Where is the aspirin?”

“My bathroom. Bottom left drawer.”

“Got it.” The elevator slowly climbed. You took a deep breath and looked over at Yoongi. “Thanks again for all your help today. Like. ALLLLL of it. The van, my aunt, my brother. Thanks. It was a lot.”

Yoongi avoided eye contact, finding his shoes very fascinating. “No problem. Like I said, it wasn’t that bad for me. I got free soup and noodles.”

You laughed, “Good to know your chauffeur services are so affordable.” The elevator stopped on the 14th floor. 

“See you tomorrow.” Yoongi started to exit, “If Jin’s girlfriend acts up, call me.” Yoongi added as though he suddenly remembered something.

“Now that I know that’s a thing, apparently, I’ll be fine.  Thanks though.” You waved as the doors closed.

You’d be fine. Yoongi reassured himself as he walked over to the studio. He was suddenly acutely aware of just how quiet the 14th floor was with no one else on it. He walked over to the large windows on the opposite side of the elevators. The snow was really coming down now, and the ground would soon be blanketed. He opened the shopping app and searched “snow gloves.” He took a deep breath, What am I doing? He walked over to the other side of the floor, punched in his passcode, and entered Genius lab, ready to get some writing done.

--

Fuck, you were so glad today was almost over. You walked into the apartment and immediately started a bath. You set up your laptop on the toilet lid. You were going to live your best life, watching Netflix in the bathtub. You had heard of such luxuries and were strangely excited by it. You headed up to the loft area, randomly grabbed a stuffed animal and threw it onto Yoongi’s bed. You grabbed the aspirin and smiled as you passed the Pikachu you had yeeted onto Yoongi’s comforter and imagined his annoyance when he discovered it. Ah, it made you laugh. You grabbed yourself some water from the kitchen and headed off to soak away your soreness and forget the day. You paused briefly to admire the snow coming down in full force now. So beautiful.  NEXT CHAPTER

@lidda  @anpanman-sonyeondan   @firefairy1  @cuteipat  @sugaslittlekookies  @janeelizabeth1216 @deeepvibes @gxldenhunny @livelyjay @niniita-ah @bobbyboops @honeysunandsoil @deathkat657 (i missed your tag for the last chapter, so sorry!!)

[hollyxqx]

BAD FRIENDS  ;  MIN YOONGI  ;  ONE

↪ PAIRING: reader x yoongi / reader x seokjin ↪ GENRE: friends to lovers to enemies to lovers, 90s!au, college!au, angst, smut, hurt, comfort, FLUFF ↪ SUMMARY: hooking up with your childhood best friend was never your plan, but neither was falling in love with him either. he’s troubled but his heart is gold. when you move away for college, things start to take a turn.

↪ WARNINGS: TW! mentions of alcohol&physical abuse, yoongi’s dad is a terrible human, minor descriptions of violence, smut, explicit sex, recreational drug use, but despite that there is a lot of love and fluff, so much pining between these two idiots in luv

↪ WORD COUNT: 20k (it’s a big one!!!)

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It Began As A Mistake

The shared wall between your houses is far too thin, you often think. You hear a lot of what you’re not supposed to. The mask the Min family next door displays to the world is shattered for you every night when the raised voices and banging starts.

You expect Yoongi will be requesting your company soon, if the shouting and screaming through the wall tonight is any indication to go by. It’s a pattern that has become more frequent, especially as of late, but has been going on for as long as you could remember.. It’s routine now. 

Not that you mind. Yoongi is your closest friend. The longest relationship you’ve had with any other human being (aside from your parents) is the one you share with Yoongi. You met him the day you moved in next door at the tender age of eight. He had been playing in his front yard, throwing and catching a basketball against a hoop attached to the brick wall of his house. You don’t remember much about the first meeting other than laughing at his enormous oversized shirt that reached his knees. 

According to your mother, it was a fast friendship. By the end of that first day you had proudly declared to her that Yoongi was your bestsest frien. She always recalls the story with a fond smile on her face, given how much she adores him. As an only child, Yoongi was like the brother you never had. And that’s how the relationship continued. Innocent and almost sibling-like.

Until it wasn’t. 

The memory of the first time you slept together is hazy. You don’t know exactly who initiated the first move but in the moment it made sense, as if it was the right thing to do. Yoongi had snuck out, climbed in your bedroom window as he usually did when he wanted to escape his turbulent home life and made himself at home in your room.

He had never been particularly vocal when it came to expressing his emotions. That was just Yoongi; silent, stoic, strong. It was only with you that he would allow himself to even be marginally vulnerable. Occasionally the veil would slip ever so slightly and you’d get a peek of the turmoil underneath and every time you did, you wanted to take that pain away from him any way you could. 

So when you held him in your arms and he murmured into the skin of your neck how much you meant to him, you knew you would do anything for him. Which is why when his lips found yours you kissed him back. When he slowly removed every item of clothing you wore, you let him. When he fucked you on your childhood bed, slowly and purposefully, you granted him access to your body. Whatever Yoongi wanted, you allowed him to take from you.

If it meant bringing some happiness and light into his life, it was worth it. You loved him, after all. 

As if on cue, you hear a quiet tap on your window. You look up from the book that you were unsuccessfully trying to distract yourself with to see Yoongi, peering at you underneath a mop of shaggy black hair. When you notice him he gives you the briefest of smiles, but you can see in his eyes he’s anything but happy.

“Figured you’d be over soon.” You say quietly as you push the window open to let him in. “He’s bad tonight, huh?”

You were referring to Yoongi’s father. The center of the hurricane of chaos that is the Min family. Mr Min had a serious drinking problem, and whenever he had one too many it was like he transformed into someone else entirely. Mrs Min and Yoongi took the brunt of his wrath. Although Yoongi never outright said it, you had long since deduced the violence his father inflected. Mrs Min had ‘walked into a door’ too many times for you to count.

“He’s an asshole.” Yoongi mutters, kicking off his sneakers. “I waited until he passed out, there’s no way I would leave that monster alone with Mom.”

“You wanna talk about it?” You ask, scooching over to make space for him on the bed beside you. He shakes his head ‘no’ as he flops face down on the mattress. Rarely does he want to open up. He lays on his front, head resting on the back of his palms. “I’m sorry Yoongi.” You rub his back affectionately.

“You should be, I cut my hand climbing up the trellis.” His muffled voice replies. “Maybe invest in a rope ladder for me.”

“Noted. Now let me see your hand.” 

Yoongi allows you to look at the small cut on his hand. It’s nothing serious but you go and fetch a plaster from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom anyway. On your way back to your room you pause outside your parents bedroom and listen. Their television is off, which means they must be asleep. As much as they love Yoongi, catching him in your room after hours would probably not go down well.

“Thanks.” Yoongi mumbles once the band aid is secured. “Can I sleep here tonight?” He asks quietly.

“You don’t need to ask” You tell him this every time, but he never listens. Instead he pulls you into his arms, holding you tightly as if you’re the only thing tethering him to reality. He may not pour his heart out to you but his need for affection, for love, is clear when he holds you like this.

“I had such a shitty night.” He says into your skin, face buried in the crook of your neck. His breath tickles. “Just wanna forget it.” He presses a kiss to your throat. “Wanna forget everything that’s not you right now.”

Your stomach involuntarily somersaults at his words. He’s not romantically interested in you.. You know this.. He’s your best friend. In the two years you’ve been sleeping together you’ve worked hard to keep any feelings at bay, but when he says things like that, your heart races. Your phisiolocical reaction betrays your head. 

It’s not the same for Yoongi and you know that. He doesn’t get butterflies. He’s just blowing off steam. It is why you constantly remind yourself about the reality of the situation. It’s just sex. If you even allow yourself to think otherwise for a moment you’ll get carried away and that can only mean one thing; the end of your friendship.

He leads you back to the bed, laying you down on the mattress before his lips are on yours. Yoongi is a phenomenal kisser, a fact you're reminded of when he nips at your bottom lip before sliding his tongue in your mouth. It’s slow and passionate, something you’ve grown to love about his kissing style. He knows just how much to give and take.

You’re hot all over from his touch. His roaming hands caress your body, his touch gradually growing more desperate. It’s heavy breathing and grinding and intense. Like he can’t get close enough to you. “Yoongi,” You pant as he pulls your shirt up and over your head. 

“Hmm sweetheart?” He asks distractedly, eyes on your now naked breasts. The pet names only ever come out during sex. Leaning forward he cups them in his hand, kissing all over your chest. He takes one of your hardened nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue over it, sending electricity straight down your spine. His mouth is sinful.

“I-I don’t have a - “ You moan a little when you feel his clothed hardness press between your legs as he moves to your other breast. Your hands fly to his hair, anchoring him to your chest.“Yoongi, I don’t have any condoms.” You manage to get out. 

He carries on what he’s doing but hums against your flesh, “Did we finish that pack already?”

“Y-yeah.” You stutter as he kisses his way down your navel. Yoongi hooks his thumbs in your shorts and drags them, along with your panties, down your legs. He kneels between your thighs and grips an ankle in each hand, bending your legs up and outwards and open. “I meant to pick some up.”

“Hmm,” Yoongi replies, once again distracted as he settles down on his chest between your spread thighs. Most of your hook ups begin this way. He reads your body so well now, after two years of doing this together he has every tip and trick down to a science. Spit sloppy kisses land on the soft meat of your inner thigh before his tongue makes it way in between your lower lips making your breath hitch.

He loves having his hair tugged and pulled whenever he’s eating you out, so your hands wind themselves through his dark locks. He grunts at the contact but still takes his time even as you tug on his hair, encouraging him. “God, Yoongi.” You whine quietly and breathlessly. “Feels amazing.”

His hands hook underneath your thighs, legs resting over his shoulder,, pulling your mound closer to him as his tongue begins to flick faster against your clit. It’s so hard to be quiet when he plays your body like this. You clutch at the sheets beneath you and a pillow simultaneously in a hopeless attempt at remaining silent.

“Look at you,” Yoongi breaks away, peering up at you through his bangs. There’s a dark desire in his eyes and your arousal on his lips. You can’t help but wonder if he loves the control aspect of making you feel good. “I can tell you’re barely holding it together. Fuckin’ needy for me. Do you want to cum like this? Or with my fingers too?”

“No.” You whisper and he quirks a skeptical brow.  “I want to cum with you inside me Yoongi.”

“We don’t have condoms.” He reminds you, languidly licking a stripe up your pussy, eliciting a shudder out of you. He slips one arm back underneath your leg so fingers can toy with the outline of your entrance. “As much as I’d love to feel you...I’ll get some tomorrow for us.”

You let a muffled cry as he slips a finger inside of your wet heat, curling it expertly. “A-ah, Yoon -” You gasp as he pumps it slowly. “I’m on birth control.”

His motions come to a frustrating hault. “Since when?” 

You had been on it for a while, not because you were having a lot of casual sex but just for your the sake of your period (something you didn’t feel like would particularly interest your best friend). Yoongi and you had long since established practicing safe sex so you carried on using condoms. “A few months.” 

“Are you...are you with other people?” He asks and you can’t believe he’s asking this with his fingers literally inside you. 

“Yoongi I’ve never been with anyone other than you.” You inform him quietly. He’d never known that he was the one who took your virginity. At the time you were so embarrassed to be the only one of your friend group still carrying their v-card, though looking back that was such a ridiculous thing to worry about.

“Really? Not even Jimi - “

“Don’t even say his name to me.” You cut him off abruptly. Jimin had been your boyfriend when you were a teenager, who ended up cheating on you. “No. Are we going to do this because I’m slowly starting to get turned off here.”

“I’m sorry sweetheart.” He gives you that same lopsided smile that makes your heart thud. Slowly he leans down to reattach his mouth to your still hyper sensitive clit before resuming fucking you with his fingers. “You’re the only one I’ve ever been with too.” He mumbles so quietly you almost miss it if it wasn’t the tickle of his hot breath against your sensitive flesh.

For some reason that turns you on more, knowing that this moment, this feeling, you’d only ever shared with each other. 

Your tightening around him, walls clenching as he brings you closer and closer to orgasm, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath enough to whine, “Yoongi I’m close, please stop, please, please let me cum on your cock.”

He pulls away with a smirk. “How could I say no when you beg so prettily?”

Yoongi reluctantly tears away from you and stands briefly to shed his clothing. They’re tossed uncaringly to the floor before he crawls over you, wedging himself in between your legs. When his bare cock brushes against your hot cunt you shiver. It’s electric, raw and thrilling at the same time. You can practically feel yourself dripping on to the sheets below.

Your lips brush together, before he whispers a warning with a laugh, “I’m probably going to cum really quick.”

“You better not.” You tease, closing the distance between your mouths with a searing kiss. Yoongi continues lapping at your mouth as one hand nudges your thighs apart a little wider. He grips the base of his cock, lining it up at your entrance before dipping the head of it in painstakingly slowly. 

“Ok?” He breathes against your cheek as he inches the rest of himself in slowly. You nod eagerly. When he’s sheathed all the way inside of you he groans, a little too loudly for your liking. 

“Yoongi!” You whisper shout, clamping a hand against your mouth. “Be quiet!”

He licks the inside of your palm and you squeal at the ticklish sensation,  yanking your hand away which was his goal. “Now who's the loud one?” He tries to joke but his voice is deeper, hoarser, husky,  like he’s trying to hold back from just pounding you into the mattress.

“Move, Yoongi.” You nudge your hips upward slightly, desperate to feel him,, causing him to bite down on his lip in pleasure. 

“You feel so fucking good.” He whispers in your ear as he slowly begins to rock his hips against you. “So fuking wet, so fucking warm.” He keeps his face next to the shell of your ear. “So tight for me sweetheart.”

He rests on his forearms as he begins to pick up speed. Together, after all the practice you’ve engaged in, you’ve both long since learned how to fuck quietly in your bedroom. Tonight however Yoongi seems to be losing himself more than usual. Both of you stop instantly the second your headboard hits the wall with a thud, staring at each other in fear.

After a few tense moments of waiting to ensure no one in your household has woken, Yoongi mutters a low apology before carrying on thrusting. 

“I’m close, Yoongi.” You whisper, pushing his chest up slightly so you’re able to reach down to your neglected clit. The other hand finds purchase on his shoulder. “Ohhhh,” You moan squeezing your eyes shut. You can feel Yoongi’s dark gaze on your face. Knowing he’s watching is undeniably hot. 

“Baby cum for me,” He pants. “Please, I’m so close. Wanna feel you squeeze my cock while I fill you up. I’m gonna cum in you, claim you, make you all mine.”

You’re not even sure if he’s aware of what he’s saying but it does the trick and you feel that tightly wound coil deep within you let go, and you’re coming hard around his cock. He’s gasping and swearing when he follows seconds later, slowly grinding against you to a stop.

He all but collapses against you. His skin is hot and sweaty and sticks against yours. In other scenarios it would be disgusting but you relish in it, pulling him towards you for a kiss. He tastes salty and sweet.

“Shit, that felt too good.” He chuckles breathlessly after a few moments. “I’m sorry it was so quick.”

“I loved it.”

He’s still panting when he pulls out,, rolling onto his back next to you. “What?” He asks when you start to giggle.

“Your cum is leaking out of me and it tickles.” You grab his hand and put it between your thighs. “Feel.”

“You’re gross.” He laughs but you know he doesn’t mean it when he pecks you on the cheek shortly after.

“I’m going to go clean up.” You inform him, as you awkwardly dress and make your way to the bathroom. 

When you return once again Yoongi’s semi dressed and partially under the duvet cover, patting the mattress signaling for you to join him. You clamber into bed beside him and he instantly wraps his arms around you with a yawn. “I set your alarm.” He tells you.

This is standard routine for you two so he’s able to sneak back out again undetected in the morning. You nod against his chest. As he stretches across you and flicks the bedside lamp off.

“Yoongi?” 

“Hmm?” You can tell he’s close to sleep already. 

“Will you tell me if you sleep with anyone else? I don’t want to go back to condoms but I don’t want an STD.” You shyly share. It would be a shame not to be able to have him again, raw and unrestricted. 

“Of course. I’d never put you at risk like that.” He replies sleepily. “You’re my best friend, dummy.”

“You’re the dummy, idiot.” 

“Shut up and go to sleep.” He says. You can tell from his voice he’s smiling.

It’s your last day of high school but unfortunately not the last one of your part time job as a barista at the coffee shop you work at. It’s a nice place, but it’s boring. There’s still three months left until you hopefully are leaving town for the college of your choice (in the city, you hope with all of your fingers and toes crossed for luck). Nothing terrifies you more than being stuck in your hometown. Life is for the living.

After school you head straight for your shift. Normally your shifts pass by pretty quickly but today this one drags in. You know you have a few letters watermarked with the symbols of colleges you applied to waiting at home, courtesy of an excited call from your mom to the shop. 

You have little idea what to expect, resulting in an anxiety ridden few hours of work. Driving home it takes everything in you not to speed. 

“Here, here, here!” Your excited mother is thrusting a stack of different sized envelopes into your arms. You hadn’t even put your keys down or removed your jacket yet. 

“Give me a second, jeez.” 

The nerves you feel bubble ominously deep in your gut. You try not to let it read on your face as you shrug your jacket off and toss your keys in the bowl. If anything your mother may be more excited than you. 

“Well, open them darling.” She’s practically vibrating with excitement, a wide lipsticked smile stretched across her face.

Taking a deep breath you walk to the living room. You may have to sit down for this. 

The first letter is small. The smallest one. The return label indicates that it was from a music school in Incheon. One of the choices higher up on your list. A quick scan reveals - “I got in!!!!” You shout as you stand up. Mom’s cries of joy and affirmation fall on deaf ears as your heart thunders.

By the time you’ve confirmed your acceptance to Yonsei and Seoul National your mother is crying. Last, but certainly not least is the letter to Hangyang Uniersity. Out of all your applications, Hangyang was the only place Yoongi had applied to also. The prospect of potentially going to school with him excited you.

As soon as the black and white printed ink confirms it - we would like to offer you a place on our applied psychology course - you audibly gasp. You can’t wait to tell Yoongi.

Neither Mr or Mrs Min usually arrive home before 8pm. Mr Min is a math teacher, who often works long hours before heading to a bar, whilst Mrs Min is a nurse; so when you bounce out the front door and to the house next door you know Yoongi will be home alone.

“Yoongi!” You singsong before you’ve even reached the door, knowing there’s a chance he may be able to hear you. “Yoongi-yaaa!” You knock obnoxiously on the oak, almost as if you’re tapping out a tune. “I know you’re home, your bike is in the drive!”

The door creaks as it opens, a disheveled Yoongi appearing on the other side. “I was napping.” He grumbles, tousling at his fluffy hair. You can’t help but think he looks adorable. 

“Do that later.” You tell him, with a playful eye roll. “I got into Hangyang!”

He barely has time to blink before you’re launching yourself at him, slinging both arms around his neck. It takes him a moment to react before a reluctant arm returns your enthusiastic hug. “That’s great, y/n.” He says into your hair before you seperate. 

Yoongi shuts the door behind you both. “And?” You can’t help but ask.

“And what?” He mutters walking past you and to the kitchen. You trail behind like an excited puppy.

“Don’t you ‘and what’ me. What about you? Please tell me you got in too.”

He freezes as he’s reaching for a glass. “I don’t know.” 

His words do little to kill your buzz. “What?” You laugh, assuming he’s joking. “Today is the deadline. How can you not know?”

“I just don’t, ok.” He flips on the tap and fills his glass up with water, the entire time keeping his back to you. Something is up, you’ve known Yoongi nearly your entire life. He’s withholding something. He was always the type to act defensively when he was mad, hurt, lying or all of the above.

“Yoongi, we can call the university and find out. Maybe your mail is just late.”

“I don’t want to, y/n.” He says curtly.

“Why?”

“I just don’t!” 

“You’re being so weird right now,” You frown. “Don’t you want to find out if we’re going to be going together? We’ve talked about this for years.”

“I’m not being weird. I just don’t know yet.”

“You are.”

“Just fucking drop it.” He groans, slamming his glass on to the counter with enough force that the water sloshes up over the edge. 

“Don’t talk to me like that! I have done nothing wrong!”

Finally he spins to face you, a neutral almost bored expression on his face. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

“I - “ You cut yourself short, feeling a little foolish that he doesn’t seem to be as thrilled at the prospect of going to college with you. He hadn’t brought it up in a while. “I thought - thought you’d be excited. Nevermind.”

At your tone his expression softens. “Y/n, the idea of getting out of here with you sounded amazing.”

“Sounded?”

He lets out a drawn out sigh and stares at the ground. “I can’t go.”

It’s almost as if the air has been sucked rapidly out of the room. “Can’t?” You parrot back. This was the first you’d ever heard of this.

“You know what my situation at home is like. You know better than anyone. I can’t just up and leave.” He’s always hesitant, ashamed when speaking openly about what goes on behind closed doors. Even to you.

“You can, Yoongi.” You go to touch his arm for reassurance but he shrugs you off. 

“I can’t.” He grits. “I can’t leave her with him.”

“Yoonseok did.” You counter. It’s a low blow bringing up his older brother but it’s the truth. Yoonseok hightailed it out of there the second he turned sixteen, leaving eleven year old Yoongi to manage his dad alone. Yoongi’s childhood had done a number on him, burdening him in a way no child should ever be. 

“Yoonseok was a selfish dick.” He responds darkly, voice dripping with hate. “Without me, or anyone, to intervene my dad will fucking end up killing my mom. We both know it y/n.” Silent and unsure how to respond to such an uncomfortable truth you can only stare sadly at Yoongi. It’s painful to see him sacrifice so much for a family that didn’t deserve it. “I can’t leave her. It’s not safe,”

“I understand Yoongi, I do. But you can’t put your life on hold forever for your parents. At some point you need to get out, not just for your own safety but your sanity.”

“Yeah then come home to a dead mom. Great idea y/n.” He spits. “Don’t be fucking stupid. This is the reality of my situation.”

“I just want what's best for you, stop being an asshole!” You yell.

“You’re being controlling and quite frankly, kind of a cunt.” 

You scoff humorlessly in disbelief. “Really Yoongi?! Fuck you. And fuck this.”

Spinning on your heel you march towards the front door. This argument was going nowhere and you would only grow angrier if you remained in the tiny kitchen with him. One glance over your shoulder and you’re met with his glassy eyes watching you leave, the last thing you see before you slam the front door. 

Three days later you and Yoongi are still not speaking, equally as stubborn as one another. You know he’s been avoiding you because you haven’t even seen him in passing, a rare thing when your houses share a wall. So you avoid him too. Fuck him for making you feel bad when all you do is adore him, support him, care about him.

He hasn’t even attempted to apologise. If you really try you might be able to hold on to this anger for a week.

That’s the longest you’ve ever gone without speaking. And it was for something so juvenile you can’t even recall it to this day. Also, you were both twelve and kind of dumb. So you figure a week is your limit. That’s the longest you’ll go without talking to Yoongi. 

Tonight makes it particularly difficult when you hear a deafening crash and a thud. You pause, mid page turn of a book you were devouring and listen. The silence that follows is deafening. 

But then you hear it. The extremely distinct raised voice of Mr Min. It’s unclear exactly what he’s shouting but the tone is enough to send a shiver of fear through your entire body. There’s another raised voice that’s unmistakingly Yoongi. Your heart clenches at the sound of him. 

They continue like this for an uncomfortable length of time. You wonder what your parents think about this. Although it’s not a secret in your household you never exactly sit down and chat about what you hear through the walls with them.

When it goes silent you don’t relax. You gaze at the shared wall you know is Yoongi’s bedroom, almost as if your hard stare can penetrate the bricks and mortar. A selfish part of you hopes he comes over tonight, as per routine. You don’t indulge in each other’s bodies every time but you know even just your company is likely the only form of affection Yoongi gets and you want to take care of him any way you can. 

This thought takes you to the window, where you unlock the latch, expecting him hopefully soon. 

He doesn’t come. 

Yoongi lays on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. It’s not the water stain or the old outline of a where playboy poster used to be (he had snuck it out of Yoonseok’s collection and stuck there when he was a kid) that is captivating his attention. It’s the sound of his mom crying in the bathroom next door that’s keeping him awake.

His father had passed out a little while ago, thankfully. But not before smashing a glass dangerously close to his mom’s head and then pushing her so hard against the wall a hole appeared in the drywall. Yoongi had helped his mom clean up a few of the cuts and scrapes before she sent him out of the bathroom, claiming she wanted to wash up before bed. Her crying is breaking his heart.

Selfishly he wishes you could hear this.If you heard this you would understand in a heartbeat why he can’t leave. His mom is vulnerable. He knows you hear some of what occurs through the wall but it’s nothing as devastating as the muffled sobs his mom chokes back. The sound of a broken woman.

It makes him wonder how on Earth Yoonseok could just walk away from this and feel nothing. He hasn’t spoken to his brother since as a result. Through his Grandma he has a vague idea where Yoonseok is (doing odd jobs here and there in the city) but he doesn’t wish to know more than that. Hate is a word he reserves only for his father, but what he feels for Yoonseok is close.

He sighs, emotionally and physically exhausted, as he rolls onto his side. It’s been almost two weeks since he last saw or spoke with you and right now all he wants is to crawl into your bed and hide in you. Bury himself inside you while you clutch at him desperately. A world away from the pain and loveless home he’s trapped in right now.

He wants you so badly to be the bigger person, to be better than him like you always are. To come and find him, to sense that he needs you. He wants it so badly he aches.

Before his key is even in the door, Yoongi knows to anticipate a Bad Night. Not that the typical bad nights are easier but Bad Nights with a capital B and M are worse. He can hear his father before he even sees him and knowing that today was a weekend, and therefore a day off from work for his old man it means he’s been drinking since sun up.

He hesitates, key hovering over the lock. He could just turn away right now and pretend he had to work late. Dealing with his father’s abuse is literally draining the life out of him. For a moment he considers it, really considers it. Then he hears his mom cry out with agony. Yoongi unlocks the door.

“Mom?” He calls out as he crosses the threshold inside.

There’s a wail, followed by a whimper coming from the living room. He follows the sound. 

He’s greeted with his dad hovering over his mom who is cowering against the wall, looking smaller and frailer than ever. Something inside Yoongi snaps. With as much force as he can he shoves his father away from her. Drunk and already weary on his feet, the older man stumbles backwards a few steps before falling. 

“Are you okay?” Yoongi extends his hand to her. Shakily she places her palm in his and he helps her stand. This does not please his father who is yelling obscenities as he struggles to get to his feet. Yoongi glances at him over his shoulder and he can sense the shift in the room. “Mom, go upstairs and lock yourself in the bathroom. I’m going to talk to Dad.” He says sternly. 

“Yoongi,” She cries softly but one look at his expression and she knows how serious he is. Fearfully her eyes flicker to where her husband is, as if he somehow has the final say. It angers Yoongi like nothing else. 

By now Mr Min is standing, albeit swaying and his expression is murderous. “You shouldn’t have done that. This has got nothing to do with you stupid boy.”

“Fuck you, old man.” 

He isn’t thinking, rage is pulsing through his veins and all he can see is red when he swings a right hook at his father, fist making direct contact with the older man's jaw. Fight or flight instinct kicking in with brute force. He’s never thrown a punch before in his life. 

It takes a few dazed seconds for his opponent to recollect himself. His father looks at him with such disgust, almost as if he can’t recognise the boy standing in front of him is his own flesh and blood. Someone he was supposed to raise, protect and guide. 

Normally, he knows better than to talk back. Normally, he knows better than to get physical with his dad unless it's in defense of his mother. Normally he knows better. And now, the look in Mr Min’s eyes tell Yoongi one thing; he’s going to severely regret it.

This is your first taste of what feels like a life without Yoongi and it’s bitter. 

Fifteen days come and go with no sign from your best friend. The world feels a little emptier without him and it’s a sobering thought, that one day he might not be in your life. This realisation lights a fire under you and you decide to swallow your pride and take the first step towards reconciliation. It’s ridiculous. You and Yoongi don’t fight. It’s both of you against the world, the way it has been since you were kids.

Knowing he’s home alone again (both parents' cars are gone) you slip out of your house and make your way to his. This is probably the first time in your entire life you've ever felt nervous to see Min Yoongi. And not in a good way.

Knock knock.

You’re holding your breath as you wait and listen for signs of life from within the bricks. Silence. You knock again. 

Have five minutes passed or fifty? It’s an eternity waiting out here for Yoongi. When you’re about to turn to leave, the front door slowly creaks open. “Y/n?” 

When your eyes meet you inhale a sharp breath of air in, shocked. He has an angry black eye, swollen and purple. There’s a cut on his lip and the flesh around it is an inflamed shade of red. You don’t have to ask. You know where this came from. 

“Yoongi.” Is all you say before stepping forward and wrapping your arms around him. It’s a depressing parallel to the last encounter you had with each other. He’s silent but he returns your hold, burying his face in your hair. He inhales deeply as if it’s comforting somehow. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” He replies hoarsely.

“I understand why you do what you do for your mom.” You mumble into the soft cotton of his hoodie. “I just want you to be happy is all.”

“I know. I’m sorry for snapping at you.” He squeezes you a little tighter, planting a kiss on your head. 

“Please don’t ever go that long without talking to me again.” You say separating enough so you can see his face but still very much holding him in your arms. “Especially when things are this bad.” He smiles weakly and holds up a pinky, chipped with black nail polish. You link yours with his.

“Promise.” He assures.

As usual you ask - “Do you want to talk about it?”

He says nothing as he pulls you inside, lacing your hand with his. You think you know where this is going. Yoongi wants to feel loved. 

He leads you up the staircase, it groans under the weight of the two of you but otherwise the house is silent. Yoongi’s room is the first one on the upper landing, the mirror of your own bedroom in your house. The door still has a few posters of bands he had once loved and a worn logo sticker of his favorite basketball team. 

There’s a small twin bed almost identical to yours, except his is donned with a navy blue bedspread and doesn’t include the small mountain of assorted pillows that yours does. He always teases you about them, often joking he’s going to steal one and that you’d never notice. 

It’s quiet still as he leads you to the bed, sitting down first and scooting upwards until his back is flush with the headboard. “We don’t have to do anything.” He says softly as you mimic his actions. “I just missed you.”

Sometimes a person just needs someone to hold them, and you have no problem being that someone for Yoongi. Gently you pull his head to your chest and idly play with his hair, just how he likes.  A content sigh parts his lips. “I missed you too.” You tell him. “Do you know how much I wanted to run over here and tell you that Jimin came to my work, ordered a coffee, then tripped and spilled it all over himself?” 

Yoongi huffs a little laugh and you’re glad to make him smile. “Wish I’d seen that.”

“Next time don’t be a dick and maybe you could have.” You tease, knowing Yoongi has a penchant for frequenting your work for free coffee and sticking around, especially on slower days. He pinches your side playfully, although still hard enough to make you yelp. 

“I’m not a dick.” Although you can’t see his face you can hear the pout in his voice. “You live my life and then let’s see how stressed out you are.”

You were only teasing but his comment causes your heart to sink all the way to your toes. “I know you’re not.” You sigh, running your hands through his hair. “You can lean on me as much as you need. I’m basically your family at this point, Yoon.”

“Family.” He scoffs as if the word leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. “What’s that?” 

“People around you who love you.” You tell him firmly. You want to add on ‘i love you’  but the boundaries between you and Yoongi are so blurry now even you don’t know in exactly what context that would mean.

A comfortable silence settles after that. You almost wonder if he has fallen asleep, given the steady rise and fall of his breathing. You don’t know what comes over you but you pick his hand up, lacing your fingers together. He often paints his nails (you have always taunted he’s too goth to be a basketball player) and you’re examining the polish. The black paint is chipped and you stroke his index finger with yours softly.

“What are you doing weirdo?” Yoongi’s voice startles you and you freeze. 

“Your nails are totally chipped.” 

“Duh. Haven’t had time to fix them.”

“Can I paint them for you?”

He cranes his neck and gives you a confused look. “...Why?”

You’re not entirely sure yourself and you shrug. Maybe you just feel guilty and want to do something nice for him. “Okay.” He agrees slowly, still entirely not convinced but still leans forward so you can stand up and grab the bottle of polish, remover and cotton pads from his dresser. Everytime you come in his room you marvel at what a neat freak he is, everything is always so organised. 

“Black?” You confirm the color. He nods. 

You set your items out on the bed, this time opting to sit opposite Yoongi, facing him. To get close enough so that he doesn’t have to stretch his arms out uncomfortably you’re basically sitting in his lap, legs entwined. Gently you talk his palm in yours and begin to wipe away the remnants of the old paint. 

“No one has ever painted my nails before.” He chuckles. Your eyes meet and you can't help but smile. 

“That’s another first time milestone of yours I’ve taken.” Your expression turns into a wide grin. Yoongi rolls his eyes. 

He’s not delicate by any means (despite the bruises) and you don’t know why you’re treating him as such but delicate is what you are when you clean all ten of his nails. You can feel his burning gaze on you as you work; it spurs you on to do a good job. 

The room smells toxic, the fumes of the remover and the nail polish nearly make your eyes water. “Can I open the window?” You ask after the smell gets a little too much. Yoongi nods and you quickly hop off the bed and pop the frame open. The instant wave of fresh air clears your head. 

He’s watching you with a peculiar look on his face that you can’t help question but he brushes it off. You return to your earlier position and continue your handiwork. You can’t help but smile and admire the first nail, disproportionately proud of your newfound skill. Yoongi laughing ruins your moment.

“What exactly is so funny?” You question, quirking a brow. 

Still laughing he shakes his head. “You’re cute.”

The blush that creeps up from your chest to your cheeks is hot and there’s no way Yoongi doesn’t notice. He’s never really complimented you like that. In fact, he rarely says anything about your appearance, negative or positive. Occasionally when he’s mid way through fucking you something will slip out but it’s meaningless when he’s seconds away from an orgasm and not thinking clearly.

“Oh.” You mutter dumbly, trying to ignore why that makes you feel tingly inside. You carry on with your task at hand. When you’ve finished the second coat, you take him by the wrist and blow on his fingers, as if that’s going to do a whole lot to speed the drying process.

“Uh..” Yoongi makes a noise that sounds almost sexual in nature and you peer up at him with a perplexed look as you continue blowing. “This is such a douchey guy thing to say but when your mouth makes that shape....and it kinda gives me goosebumps when you do that...it reminds me of every time you’ve ever sucked my dick.”

“Oh my god.” You laugh, throwing your head back. “Seriously?!”

He nods, looking half amused, half ashamed. “They’re pretty memorable, you know.”

“Good to know.”

After his nails are dry and you’ve tidied up the mess you join him back on the bed. “Thank you.” He says, pulling you on his lap before you even have a moment to process what just happened. You straddle him, hands on his shoulders, staring intently at the injuries on his face. You brush a thumb along his bottom lip. 

“I like doing things for you.”

Yoongi holds your arm firmly in place, pressing a kiss to your thumb then bringing your hand to cup his face and planting a kiss against your wrist. His larger hand rests atop your hand, keeping it there and he nuzzles into you. There’s a palpable tension and the air suddenly feels too thick. It’s almost hard to breathe. As you get lost in his eyes it feels as if the world around you has vanished, leaving only you and Yoogi, in your own private universe. 

You lean in closer. His breath ghosts your lips. You’ve missed kissing him so much.

Then, the front door slams.

“Shit.” Yoongi flies up so quickly it’s a wonder you’re not thrown to the floor. “They’re home.” His parents are earlier than expected. 

“I’ll sneak out if you distract them?” It’s not that Yoongi’s parents don’t like you, they just a: wouldn’t approve of you being over unsupervised and without permission and b: the less fuel you can add to the fire the better. Mr Min will look for anything to be upset with when it comes to his son. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologise. Just go.” You push him towards the door. Before he leaves he turns to you and asks -

“ - See you tonight?”

Yoongi’s in - dare he say it - a good mood when he sneaks out later that same day. His dad passed out early (a rare but welcome occasion) leaving the Min household in a relatively peaceful state for once. Slipping out the front door, armed with a box of his mom’s homemade cookies that you love, he makes the short trip to your bedroom.

A knuckle taps quietly against the window and he can’t help but grin when he sees the excitement in your eyes. After all you had unfinished business from earlier. You bounce over to the window wearing that cute lilac pyjama short set (the one that makes it hard for him to concentrate) and let him inside. 

“They’re still awake.” You whisper, holding a finger to his lips when he goes to speak. He nods in understanding, aware you mean your parents.

“For you.” He matches your hushed tone as he passes you the box of cookies. Your eyes light up with delight and a tiny gasp leaves your lips.

“My favorite! Your mom must have been in a good mood today to be baking.”

“Dad went to bed early, so..” He shrugs.

“Thank you.” You put the box on your desk and engulf Yoongi in a hug of gratitude. 

His hands are cold when he slides them beneath your flimsy camisole, wanting nothing more than to feel your naked skin. He kneads the flesh of your bare hips under his hands before dragging his nose along the juncture of where your collarbone meets your neck and inhaling. The scent of you, your skin and your body wash was comforting and arousing. 

He wonders sometimes if you truly knew the effect you had on him as his lips ghost over your skin with the briefest of touches. He wants to drown in you. This is the only place he’s ever felt safe. 

You exhale a shaky breath that sounds a lot like his name. He pushes your hair over your shoulder allowing his lips to roam your decliotage freely. There’s not a part of your body he hasn’t kissed, he thinks. He laves his way up your throat and meets your awaiting mouth. He can taste your strawberry lip balm, a taste he will forever associate with you.

You whisper between kisses that he has to be quiet (as always) but intrigue him when you push him towards the white wooden chair that matches the desk. He sits down and you swing a leg over his lap so you’re straddling him, a more intimate version of how you were on his bed earlier. 

“This is new.” He hums, hands stroking up and down your sides. 

“Can’t have the headboard crashing into the wall again now can we?” You giggle, pushing some of his hair off his face. 

Yoongi agrees with a smirk, gaze roving over your willing body. He strips you of your camisole, before devouring your breasts, taking one in each hand and grazing a thumb over your quickly hardening nipples. His lips find purchase on your neck once more. It’s almost sinful how you’re already grinding shamelessly against him. 

“Stand up and take these off.” He commands, snapping the waistband of your little shorts to punctuate his point. Quickly you shed the clothing, kicking them off. Yoongi’s cock is aching a little now, having been pent up for a few hours now. He hastily shoves his sweatpants down enough for his member to spring free.

When you’re seated on his lap you moan in pleasure at the feeling of his hardness against your bare pussy. “I’ve missed you.” You breathe, rocking your hips enough so that the tip of his cock brushes through your lips. He shudders at the combination of your voice and sensation.

His hands can’t seem to decide exactly where he wants to touch you. One has a handful of your ass, encouraging your movements and the other is palming at your tits. Then when you beg him to touch you he knows exactly where his hands want to be.

A sense of pride washes over him every time he feels how wet he makes you. There’s a thrill in knowing he’s the only one who has ever made you like this. The only one who has ever touched you like this. His thumb circles your clit slowly. He watches you with ravenous eyes.

Your soft whines just make the ache to be inside you increase tenfold. It’s so much better than any dirty movie he’s ever seen. It’s real and it's for him. “O-Oh, Yoongi.” Your head falls forward, resting on his shoulder. “I’m ready. Please. Just want you. It’s been too long.”

The fact that two weeks without him was too long for you does nothing but inflate his ego. Rarely does Yoongi ever feel just this self assured. “You have me.” He whispers, positioning you over his swollen cock. Slowly you lower yourself onto him, taking him like the good girl you are. “Fuckkk.” He exhales when you’re completely full of him.

“It’s s-so much.” You choke. He knows exactly what you mean. This is a new position and a new angle for you both. As beginners to sex neither of you had the confidence or experience to experiment too much yet. With you speared on his lap, it’s deeper than he’s ever felt you before. 

His grip on your hips is bruisingly tight as he stills you for a moment. It’s overwhelming how good you feel and he already came far too fast last time. He bites down on the juncture of your neck and shoulder, eyes squeezed shut tight. 

Eventually he calms down enough to let you bounce on him. Your eyes threaten to roll back in your head, lids fluttering shut. His mouth hangs open and he knows he porbbaly looks so dumb right now but he couldn’t fucking care. Not with how unbelievably good it felt. 

“Yoongi,” You pant, laughing a little “You know I saw this in porn and wanted to try it.”

“Yeah - uh, wa - what?” He splutters, stilling you completely to ensure he heard you correctly. “Since when do you watch porn?”

“Last week the cable TV glitched.” You bite your lip shyly. “I may have watched some.”

“Fuck.” He growls, lifting you up and slamming you back down on his length. The idea of you watching porn, masturbating to porn and then thinking about him almost has him blowing his load immediately. God knows he’s thought about you countless times. Even before you’d had ever even had sex. “You have no. Idea. How hot that is.”

“Yeah? You think so?” You’re breathless, cheek to cheek as you whisper in his ear. 

“The idea of you touching yourself.” He groans. “Wishing it was me.”

“Of course I wished it was you.” You moan. “Think about you fucking me all the time. You can have me whenever you want me, Yoongi.”

Shit He’s so close to cumming already. Whispered obcenties tumble out from under his breath. Just as you’re starting to get too loud Yoongi covers your mouth with his hand but you grab his two of his fingers and suck them into your hot mouth, muffling your moan as you cum. The sensation of your mouth and your pussy is his undoing, and he explodes not even seconds later, cumming harder than he can ever remember. 

“You’re going to ruin me.” He pants, chest heaving. 

You laugh, pressing your sweaty forehead against his. “Not if you ruin me first.”

Weekday routine insists you always assist your mother with the after dinner clean up. When you were younger you were often (as your father put it - ‘deviously smart’) at inventing excuses to get out of chores. Now as an almost adult you, it isn’t such a hassle. It’s even nice to spend a little time talking with your mother. 

The relationship you have with your parents is the inverse of the one Yoongi has with his. It wasn’t until you understood the gravity of his situation did you really start appreciating them in a newfound way. You could be a bratty kid in your youth, like everyone but you thank your lucky stars you had a loving, safe environment.

“Careful with that plate darling, it’s china.” Your mom instructs as she hands you the dinner plate, knowing full well how clumsy you can be. 

“How about we just eat from paper plates now on? They don’t break.”

Your mom cracks a smile as she shakes her head. “When it’s your house you can make the rules.” She gives you a pointed look. After a few moments of silence she asks - “How is Yoongi? I haven’t seen him over in a while.”

You look away to hide the blush that floods your cheeks. He’s over nearly every other night, mother. Right under your nose.

“He’s fine. Same old, same old.” You sigh, stretching up on to your tip toes as you put the precious plate away. 

“Is he joining you at Hangyang in September?” You mom pries. 

Oh shit. You’d forgotten to tell her. “Uh, no. No he’s not.”

“Oh sweetie. I’m sorry. I know you two were looking forward to it. It’s a shame he didn’t get in.” 

“That’s not why.” You take yet another precious china plate from her to dry. “It’s his parents.”

“Oh.” 

You don’t have to elaborate any further. It’s not a secret in your home. Your parents aren’t deaf, they hear everything you do. “I wish he would leave them. He’s worried for his mom.”

A long, forlorn sigh leaves your mother. “Gosh when he was young your father and I would phone the police on the really bad nights.” She tells you with a shake of her head.

“What? Seriously?” This was brand new information to you. She nods.

“Mrs Min always defended her husband. Made us look like we were imaging things. It’s so sad.” Her eyes grow misty. “I don’t blame that poor Yoonseok for running away. At one point we even tried to adopt Yoongi, you know.”

“Fuck, really?”

“Language.” Your mother warns and you hastily apologise, desperate to hear more of the story. “Yes. He spent so much time here, it was like he was our kid anyway. We seriously looked into it, hired a lawyer and a social worker. But it was too difficult. Mrs Min stopped talking to us for a long time.”

“I had no idea.” You breathe, awed. Although the idea of Yoongi potentially being your brother makes you feel nauseous now, given everything. 

“Mrs Min is a nice woman. She adores her children but she struggles.” Your mom says empathetically. “As for Mr Min? He was the picture perfect father and husband for a good while when they first moved in. You were too young to remember.” 

“I wish I could help them.” 

“I know you do honey. If only it was so simple.” You mom smiles. “Yoongi is lucky to have you. That boy is welcome in our home any time, as far as I’m concerned. And tell him I was asking after him won’t you?”

“Of course. He’ll like that you were.”

Aside from Yoongi, Anni is probably the person you’re closest with. The juxtaposition between her and Yoongi is almost comical, like night and day. She is bubbly, fun and out-going; a stark contrast to Yoongi’s more foreboding and at times broody nature. Of course he was fun, but in such a different way. 

Anni somehow persuades you to accompany her to a house party. Your entire high school life you’ve only ever been to a handful. They’re not exactly your thing. But college is encroaching and that’s what you’re supposed to be doing there right? Partying, drinking, occasionally studying. So it doesn’t take a lot of convincing to get you prettied up and ready to go.

It’s Seyoon’s house that’s your destination, a guy in your year you’ve only spoken to a handful of times. The moment you set foot in the crowded building you already feel awkwardly out of place. As if your friend senses this she whispers in your ear, “You look great, don’t think so much.” while pushing you through the crowd. 

The first point of call is obviously alcohol. Together you do two shots each before grabbing a cup of something questionable. “Oh! There’s Soomin. Let’s go say hi.”

Soomin was Anni’s friend, someone you only knew by acquaintance. You spot her talking to a group of two guys and a girl you recognise but don’t know her name.  You instantly feel a little nervous, one of the guys is clearly older, and not to mention handsome. He looks like a model, beautiful dark hair coiffed perfectly. 

Soomin is very friendly and greets you both with welcoming hugs before introducing you to the group. “This is Yeona, her boyfriend Jongsuk and my cousin Seokjin.” 

“You don’t go to our school. You look like you spend your time in a drama as the male lead.” Anni teases Seokjin playfully. Of course she would be flirting right off the bat. He takes it in stride, shaking his head with a grin. 

“I used to. I just finished my first year at Hangyang Uni.” 

“That’s where I’m going next year.” You smile up at him. When he makes eye contact you blush like the school kid you technically are. 

“Really? That’s great. What are you studying?” He asks, stepping a little closer so he can hear you over the music. 

“I’m hoping to get my degree in Psychology and Sociology.” 

“Are you joking?” He laughs. At once you’re confused. You don’t exactly look like the studious academic type, and he doesn’t have to be rude about it.

“No…” You frown. “Why?”

“I’m a psychology student too. You’ll probably even be on the same campus as me!” He grins.

“Ohhhh, that’s cool! What are the odds?” 

“I know? Isn’t that so weird?” He laughs. 

“Do you enjoy it?” You ask, genuinely curious. That’s been a big fear of yours, worried you’ll begin your (expensive) further education and hate it. 

“I love it. I’ve always been interested in Psychology so learning from some of the best experts in the country is amazing.” He looks like a kid on christmas, eyes lighting up as he speaks. This guy might be model handsome on the outside but he is a total geek. It’s so endearing, you can’t help but like it.  “It’s a great school. You’ll enjoy it.”

By now the others' conversations have died out. Seokjin’s eyes dart downwards to your empty drink. “Want another?” 

“Yeah alright.”

“Come with me, I can tell you about all the cool spots on campus and what books not to buy.” He grabs you by the wrist as he says a quick ‘be right back’ to Yeona. Anni gives you a knowing smirk but you mouth ‘shut up’ at her. 

Hoseok’s sunny, cheerful demeanour is something Yoongi normally appreciates about his friend. Unless it’s used as a weapon against him, like it is tonight. This is how he finds himself sipping on a disgustingly warm beer in the corner of Seyoon’s vast living room, doing nothing more exciting than people watching. 

You had told him earlier in the week you’d been roped into attending. Maybe that’s why he’d agreed to go with less resistance than usual. If he was truly honest with himself he was scanning the room, hoping to find you and turn this night around. The few times you’d got drunk together were always fun. 

He spies Anni first, talking to a group of people, which means you can’t be far off. He knows you went with her. That’s when some movement catches his eye. 

Initially it’s the tall pretty boy who alerts his attention, but his gaze drops downward to see him leading you of all people somewhere, wrist firmly encaptured in his grip.

Something hot and prickly rises in his chest and his heart feels like it’s screeched to a halt. If he witnesses this strange boy take you upstairs he might just lose it. That’s what usually happens at these parties.

He exhales a shaky breath of relief when the two of you make a beeline for the kitchen. Although the adrenaline rush isn’t gone yet, his heart is still thundering his ribcage. Through a small gap in the crowd he sees you talking, smiling, laughing. You look like you’re having fun. He doesn’t want to ruin that.

“Do you want another?” Hoseok nudges him with his elbow, gesturing with his head to the nearly finished beer Yoongi clutches. 

He does want another but that would mean going into the kitchen, so he refuses.

“Come on, little MinMin.” Hoseok teases, using Yoongi’s least favourite nickname. He hates being called little, or tiny, or short. “I know you want one.”

“Fine but I’m staying here. Fetch it for me.” 

Hoseok sticks his tongue out at him before grabbing his empty bottle and disappearing with it.

“Me? No I’m not really into the partying side of college life but I can show you where to go if you are.” Seokjin has been sharing his wisdom for you for the last forty minutes. Evidently he’s learned a lot in a year at Hangyang. “I read books and chill. By myself.” He laughs and you join him. 

“It’s funny how we both aren’t the partying type and we literally met at a party.” You can’t help but chuckle, shaking your head at the absurdity of the situation. “Should we rejoin the others?”

Seokjin agrees and as you two exit the kitchen you see the back of someone’s head that looks a lot like Yoongi’s friend Hobi. You hesitate for a minute, attempting to decipher if it really is him or not when a subtle touch at the small of your back from Seokjin jolts you back into the present. 

“Come on.” He’s so unintentionally suave. It makes your heart beat just a little faster. 

Anni is animatedly telling the story of when you and her accidentally tried to give her white maltese dog Pricilla a bath and accidentally turned her pink with the wrong shampoo. “Your mom still hasn’t let me live that done!” You join in at the end. 

“Neither has Pricilla.” Anni grins.

“Please tell me you don’t have a dog.” Seokjin asks, grabbing both your shoulders in dramatic mock concern. “Please y/n, think about the animals!”

“I didn’t act alone!” You defend shooting a glare at Anni, who is playing innocent. 

“Well it’s a good thing you’re not allowed animals on campus.” Seokjin smirks. Anni gives you yet another knowing look. You can practically see the internal cogs of her brain whirring to life. Ever since Jimin she’s been dying for you to at least hook up with someone. Little did she know about Yoongi.

“You two should meet up when you’re both at school.” The look on Anni’s face tells you she’s assuming she’s doing you a favour, a gentle nudge forward in your romantic life. 

Before you can awkwardly deflect the question and give Seokjin an escape he answers first. “Yes we should, y/n. If you want.”

“Uh, sure.” You don’t see why not. As of now he’s the only person you know at Uni. It might make the transition a little more fluid. 

“Maybe y/n you can give him your number?” Anni meddles further. Oh god, you look so desperate now. You’re not interested in dating him and she’s making it seem like you are.

“I’ll have a different number when I’m at school.” You remind her. 

Seokjin reads between the lines, sensing he’s not quite privy to all the information. “No problem, I’ll give you mine.” 

He excuses himself for a moment, to grab a pen and paper. You look to see where he’s going and your eyes land on the one person you did not expect to see here. Yoongi. Yoongi watches you as he makes his way out onto the patio with Hoseok, dark eyes unreadable. Your heart leaps. Immediately you want to go over and say hello but you can’t. With one final glance he disappears through the sliding doors. Why do you feel like you’ve been caught doing something wrong?

“Here.”

Seokjin hands you a slip of paper with his home number and campus number. “Kim Seokjin.” You read aloud to yourself. “Thank you for this. I just saw my good friend here so I’m going to say hello. It was lovely meeting you!”

“You too.” He smiles warmly. 

“Come on Anni, Hobi’s here.” You inform her and her eyes widen in surprise. She likes Hobi. A lot. It’s the sweetest thing. 

“Bye Seokjin!” 

You drag Anni away before she can do any more damage.

Yoongi and Hoseok are sitting on the railing of the large wooden patio, joined by Jungkook who seemed to materialize out of nowhere. He’s talking energetically about something but Yoongi isn’t really focusing. He spots you walking over to him. Your face lights up as soon as your eyes meet. It makes him feel funny.

“I didn’t think you would be here.” You smile brightly as you come to a stop before him. 

“Hobi tricked me.” He shrugs, sipping his beer. The frown that his dry response elicits makes him feel guilty. “Are you two having fun?” He nods his head towards Anni.

“Y/n was.” She giggles, nudging you suggestively. “How about you two? I haven’t seen you in a while Hoseok.”

He flashes her a winning smile. “You’re seeing me now.” 

Yoongi fights an intense urge to roll his eyes. Hobi’s flirting always made him cringe. It’s even worse when it actually works. Hoseok offers everyone a drink but only Anni takes him up on the offer. Together they disappear in search of alcohol, leaving Yoongi alone with you. He feels awkward for some reason.

“You know she likes him, right? Hobi.” You say after a few beats of silence pass between you. Yoongi figured, from the way Anni hung on Hoseok’s every word.

“I’m sure he’d be down to hook up. He’s not picky.” He mutters. 

“Yoongi.” You scold. “They suit each other. They would be cute together.”

He hums in response. You’re right, of course but he’s not really in the headspace to be getting giddy about whether two people will fuck or not. 

You hoist yourself onto the railing next to him, scooting close enough that your bodies are touching. He tenses when you lay your head on his shoulder. “You’re not in a good mood tonight.” It’s not a question, you’re just consistently excellent at reading his emotions.

“You know I hate parties.” He mumbles. 

“Me too.”

“You looked like you were having fun earlier. Don’t feel obligated to sit with me.” He speaks before he thinks. It makes him sound bitter and jealous and angry. He hates it because not only does it make him sound pathetic; it’s true.

“I want to sit with you.” You correct quietly.

He doesn’t know how to respond, praise and affection always make him feel a little awkward. For a while you sit in comfortable silence, just watching the rest of what seems like the world have fun. Yoongi spies that tall pretty boy you were talking to glancing over and he feels a little smug at the disappointment on the strangers face seeing you and Yoongi looking cosy together. 

“Those two have been taking a suspiciously long time.” Yoongi muses, attention now back on his beer. 

“Yeah,” You huff a laugh. “I wonder why…”

“Do you wanna get out of here?” Yoongi asks abruptly. “Let’s go to the diner. I’m hungry.”

“That sounds like a plan.” You agree to his surprise. 

At your suggestion you seek out Hoseok and Anni to extend an invitation, only to find them kissing in a darkened corner of the hallway. Yoongi rolls his eyes while you snicker - “About time.”

When Yoongi smiles - really smiles - his entire demeanour changes. He has the tendency to look intimidating and cold when his expression is neutral (“I can’t help my face!” he would always defend when people mentioned it) but when he laughs his eyes light up like stars. You adore his gummy smile. 

The thought captures you in the diner as the two of you are doubled over with laughter. You were trying to throw a french fry into Yoongi’s mouth but missed completely, hitting an older woman in the booth behind, directly on the forehead. 

“No wonder you suck at basketball with an aim like that.” He grins, stuffing some fries in his mouth. 

“I’m so embarrassed.” You cover your reddening face with your hands but you’re still laughing. 

“It’s a good thing we’re Mike’s best customers or I’m sure we would have been kicked out by now.” Yoongi points out. He’s right. The greasy, twenty four hour diner has been your hang out for years now. 

“I’m going to miss it when I’m at college. I’ll have to make special trips back for the strawberry milkshakes.” You realise. 

“What about me?!” He scoffs playfully. “Nice to know on your list of priorities I’m below milkshake.”

“You know you’re my favourite.” You coo, stealing a fry from his hand before he has the chance to bite it. The look of indignation he gives you only makes you giggle. 

You walk home together, happy and still a little buzzed from the alcohol at the party. Somewhere along the way the back of Yoongi’s hand brushes against yours and he laces your fingers together. 

Summer persists in much the same way. Yoongi gets a job across the street from your work as a full time record store employee. He enjoys talking about music in his free time, so he figures he may as well get paid for it. You’re happy for him and he seems a little more content. You coordinate lunch breaks when you can, meeting to eat in the sunshine. 

Once a week Yoongi brings you a record or cassette he thinks that you’ll like. Sometimes he leaves little notes inside the sleeve of the vinyl, secret messages just for you. They range from random thoughts of his, inside jokes or just which song he loved the most. It’s such a Yoongi thing to do.

You make and bring him iced americano’s, on the house of course. At this point you’re pretty sure everyone he works with assumes you are a couple. What’s weird is that it doesn’t bother you in the slightest. 

If you thought the boundaries between you and Yoongi were blurred before, it’s even more confusing now. Yoongi treats you as if you’re his girlfriend, but only when you’re alone of course. When your other friends are around no one would suspect anything at all is going on between you. To say it’s messing with your head is an understatement. You wonder if Yoongi is going through the same mental turmoil about this as you are.

Probably not, if you’re being truly honest with yourself. A part of you knows he’s just latching on to you for comfort, for a way of coping. It’s not like his home life has magically improved in the last few weeks. Truthfully it seems to be steadily worsening. 

It’s pathetic how willing you are to pretend that it’s real. That you belong to Yoongi and he to you. Your mother once told you, amidst your heartbreak over Jimin while you had been blaming yourself for him cheating, that if someone wanted to do something, they would, regardless of you. She said it to comfort you but the words haunt you now. If Yoongi wanted you to be together, wouldn’t he ask?

You’re leaving for college soon. You won’t have Yoongi for much longer. So for now, you’ll allow yourself this indulgence, and just enjoy being with him.

“Please tell me you are not taking these.” Anni exclaims, holding up a pair of chunky black platform boots. “They’re the ugliest things I’ve ever seen.” She giggles at the look of outrage on your face. 

You’ve recruited Anni and Yoongi to help you pack some of your belongings since it’s only seven short days until you leave for Hangyang and could use the extra pair(s) of hands. The afternoon has consisted mainly of Anni questioning your taste whilst Yoongi rocks on your desk chair, attempting to solve a rubix cube he managed to find. 

“Yes I am taking those! They’re cute and they make me feel tall.” You snatch the shoes from her and place them in your suitcase. “Right Yoongi?” You ask, looking for backup.

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” He mumbles without even bothering to look up from the toy in his hands. 

“I’m going to miss you and your ugly shoes so much.” Anni sighs dramatically earning an eye roll from you. 

“I’m only one hour away from your school babe.” You remind her. Like you, she’s also leaving Daegu for Seoul. “It’ll be easy for us to meet up.”

“Have you met your roommates yet?” She inquires, inspecting yet another pair of your shoes. 

“Yeah, I’m with two girls. They seem nice enough. We have our own separate rooms which is nice.”

“That means you can have boys over.” She says suggestively. You hear Yoongi scoff slightly under his breath. 

“Yeah yeah,” You dismiss. “Speaking of boys, what’s going on with you and Hobi?” 

“He does not shut up about you.” Yoongi pipes up to Anni’s delight. “Seriously. It’s annoying.”

“I like him a lot. And we get on great.” She gushes, face lighting up. “But we’re going to be so far apart come September.” While you both are leaving for the city, Hoseok is going south for school.

“You can still date long distance.” You suggest.

“No you can’t.” Yoongi cuts in bluntly. “It won’t work.”

“What?” You look at him incredulously. “Of course they can.”

“No they can’t.” He rebuts, leaning forward resting his arms on his knees.. “It might work for a while. But she’ll be busy and will be meeting new people and he won’t be a priority anymore, because he doesn’t fit into her new life!”

“She cares about him! She’ll make time for him to fit into her life!”

“That’s bullshit. It won’t happen.” Yoongi jeers, a nasty undertone to his words that’s far too visceral to be directed at Anni.

“Alright, jeez. Calm down you two.” Anni looks between you, wide eyed. “I know you both care about me and Hobi but you don’t have to take it so personally.”

You and Yoongi lock eyes for a moment, a secret realization transpires between you, about exactly why you’re taking one another’s words so seriously. Before the tension in the room can worsen, your mom knocks on the bedroom door.

“Come in.” You call. She pokes her head through the door. “Hey mom.”

“How’s the packing going?” She inquires, peering around the room.

“Getting there.” You exhale, blowing some stray hairs away from your forehead.

“Good, good.” She nods. “I just got back from the supermarket, I bumped into Kim Jangmi and we had a very interesting chat.”

“Kim Jangmi?” You struggle to recall the name. It sounds familiar but you don’t exactly know the name of every single one of your mother’s friends. 

“Yes! You know, from my book club? Anyway she was with her son and we all got to chatting and apparently you met him a few weeks ago. Kim Seokjin!”

“Oh….yeah.” You mumble. “He goes to Hangyang and we ended up speaking for a bit.” 

“The handsome guy from the party?!” Anni interrupts keenly.

“Gosh, he is handsome isn’t he?” Your mother agrees, a little too enthusiastically for your liking. “He said you’re going to meet up at school?”

You glance at Yoongi before you answer, he  is clearly pretending not to be interested in the conversation, looking at the rubix cube as if it is the most interesting thing he’s ever seen. “Maybe. I don’t know. I barely know him.”

“He gave you his phone number.” Anni chirps. 

Yoongi’s eyes flick to you.  

“He was just being friendly.” You feel defensive for some reason. “We are on the same course, that’s all.”

“He’s a really nice boy, y/n. The reason why I came here was to tell you he’s going to help us when you move in next week.” Your mom beams.

“What?” You gasp, annoyed. “Why did you have to rope him into that?!” 

“He offered!” 

You sigh, feeling frustrated and defeated. “Okay mom. I'm sure that’s a lie, but ok.”

“Stop being difficult, darling.” She sighs. “I’m going to start on dinner now. Yoongi, Anni, you’re both welcome to stay.”

Yoongi and Anni both say thank you before your mother bids her goodbye. It’s odd in the room now; you feel exposed as if Yoongi just found out a secret you’ve been hiding. You want to tell him you’re not interested in Seokjin. You want to tell him you’re only interested in him. But you can’t. So the three of you continue packing.

Anni doesn’t sense the tension. “I hope your mom is making mac and cheese for dinner. Hers is the best.”

Seven days feels like a substantial amount of time but it’s not, Yoongi has come to understand. His last week with you flew by and he wishes he had even just one more day before you depart for Seoul. Seoul feels final. Seoul feels like the end.

Your life is going to change drastically, in almost every aspect, while his will remain the same. He knows it, feels it in his gut, that you’re going to leave him behind. You were always better than him, too good for him and now you’re going to realise it. And he’s been clinging on like a desperate man.

Somehow he manages to convince you to sneak out. It’s one am and you have to be up early for the big move but he’s grateful when you agree anyway. He’s waiting for you in his car. It’s silent apart from the low thrum of the idle engine and some indie rock playing over the radio at a low volume. 

You slip out of your front door, in a hoodie that Yoongi notes belongs to him. He can’t help how the sight makes his heart swell and excitement begin to race through him. He leans across the console and opens the passenger door for you. “Hi.” You whisper with a smile. 

“Hi.” He whispers back. 

He waits for you to buckle your seatbelt before pulling off. The roads are almost deserted at this time, a fact he finds oddly soothing. 

“Do I get to know where we are going or…?” You ask, peeking at him slyly out of the corner of your eye. 

“You’ll know in a minute.” Is his response. He’s taking you to a spot you’ve both been many times before. There’s an observatory at one of the highest points in town which gives an amazing view of the landscape below as well as the stars. It’s peaceful.

When he parks in the abandoned parking lot (the observatory has long since closed, lying abandoned now) there’s a fond smile playing on your lips. You like it here, having always been fond of the night sky. “Is there a reason you brought me here?”

Yes. 

“No,” He answers with a shrug. “Just wanted to have a nice last night with you.”

“You’re acting like I’m going to war or something.” You laugh. “I’ll be back and forth between here and Uni all the time.”

You say that now but he thinks (knows) the reality will be much different. 

He’s silent as he draws you in for a kiss. Hands cup your face and he pours as much intensity as he can into the gesture. His name falls breathlessly from your lips as he pulls away. “I need to tell you something.” He manages to choke out. He’s nervous and it constricts his vocal chords.

You blink a few times before your eyes widen with worry. “Is everything okay Yoongi?” 

“Yeah! Yeah..” He tries to convince you. “With you leaving and all I just wanted to let you know. Y/n… you mean a lot to me.” He takes a deep breath, an attempt to summon some courage, whilst you watch him curiously. “Our..friendship is different now. Things have changed.” No shit, he thinks. “I like you. So much. More than anyone else. I - I, you, you know?”

He wants to verbalise that he loves you so badly, but his brain is blocking the words from escaping. He feels like a fool. An emotionally stunted fool.

“Yoongi,” You say gently. Your eyes search his own and he knows you understand what he’s trying to say. You’ve always been excellent at reading him. “Me too.”

“I’ve never felt like this about anyone before.” He confesses in a low voice. “You’re everything to me.”

“I feel exactly the same.”

His heart constricts before thudding wildly in his chest. This was the answer he had hoped before. He hooks your pinky with his just like he always does. “Promise me if things change when you’re away we’ll be friends.” He can hardly look at you as he asks his desperate question.

“I promise.”  You squeeze his pinky tightly. “Nothing will change. You will always have me, Yoongi.”

Little more words and confessions are exchanged between you. Yoongi fucks you in the back seat of his car for what he hopes isn’t that last time. It’s different, passionate and slow. The windows steam up just like in the movies.

Still naked and sticky on top of you, he stretches forward and draws a heart in the condensation on the window. He writes both of your initials inside of it, then kisses you through your adorable giggles. 

The sun begins to rise and you watch it together before he drives you home.

The next time you will see Yoongi will be December. Three whole months from now. The thought anxiously chews away at your insides as you watch his house disappear in your rearview mirror. He has the phone number of your dorm and you promised to arrange regular phone catch ups. With your mother’s blessing you gave him a copy of the key to your house so he will always have a refuge, even if you’re not there to be one for him.

Areum and Oli are surprisingly easy to get along with. It’s never easy to live with people so you’re thankful you lucked out with some decent roommates. The first night away from home the three of you spend the evening drinking wine, eating take out and getting to know one another. 

Your room is cute, decorated with a few polaroids of you and friends and some fairy lights that twinkle at night. Among them is two pictures of you with Yoongi. The first from when you were ten and your mom managed to catch him and you napping on the sofa together and the second was from the last few months and he’s wearing that smile you love. It only makes you miss him more.

College officially doesn’t start for one week, the seven remaining days are filled with orientations and registrations and parties. Almost every bar and restaurant in the area have deals and themed nights on in order to entice the students out and it works.

The third night as an official Hangyang student you find yourself at dinner with Seokjin. After he had struggled to get your mattress into your room he had winked at you and said ‘you can make it up to me by buying me dinner’. Sufficiently guilty at receiving so much of his help you had agreed.

“I spent almost my entire first year here.” He jokes as he sits opposite you at a typical burger place he’d insisted you take him to. “You won’t find a better burger in a fifty km radius.”

“We’ll see. I have plenty of time to find out.”

Now that you’re out of the earshot of your parents you take the time to apologise for them roping him into helping you move. Seokjin waves it off with a genuine smile. If you didn’t know better you would think he wanted to help you. 

Surprisingly it’s easy to spend time with him and you soon discover you have a lot in common, beyond being on the same course and coming from the same town. He watches re-runs of 80s sitcoms too and loves bad horror movies. He even has the same obsession with milkshakes you do. 

“Let’s share one.” He suggests, ordering only one lone milkshake from the waitress. 

“This isn’t 1950. Or lady and the tramp.” You laugh, scrunching up your noise. 

“Hey! Lady and Tramp share spaghetti. Have some respect.” 

“Oh I’m sorry, I naturally should have assumed that you, a twenty two year old college male felt so strongly towards an old disney film.” You giggle.

He leans in close and beckons you to do the same, as if he’s going to whisper a secret. “I think it’s the cutest film ever.”

“Aw, you’re a secret softie.” You smile.

“The softest.” He agrees. 

Your milkshake arrives and it suddenly dawns on you why he wanted to order one to share. This thing was as large as a two liter bottle, and after a huge burger you doubt you could have finished one alone. 

It’s almost - dare you say it - cute, sharing the dessert with him. You’re glad you agreed to the dinner. It’s been years since you spent time with another boy that wasn’t Yoongi and it’s nice. Between some of the classmates you’ve met, your roommates and Seokjin college feels hopeful. You’re excited. 

You go to pay the check but Seokjin stops you with a laugh, assuring you he was only joking before. “Let me treat you, as a thanks for your time.” He says before walking away with a grin. 

Three weeks away from home and your routine is beginning to shape and settle itself. Classes aren’t as hard as you expect them to be but you have a sneaking suspicion it won’t stay that way for long. Seokjin offers to help if you need it and you’re grateful that he’s slowly becoming a friend. 

Thursday nights have become a regular thing in your new home. Areum, Oli and yourself make it a thing to have dinner together and gossip about the week. Oli is majoring in sports medicine so is almost always busy while Areum is studying law, which all but shackles her to the library. 

There’s a knock on the door and you hop to your feet, hungry and eager to receive the chinese food you’d ordered for the three of you. To your surprise is Seokjin on the other side and not the delivery guy you’ve become so familiar with as of late. 

“Seokjin. Hey! What brings you here?” You ask, trying not to sound too put out. As far as you were aware you had no prior plans arranged.

“I just finished my shift at the library and thought I’d come see my favourite freshman.If that’s okay?” He eyes you curiously.

“My roommates and I were just about to have dinner. Unless you want to join?” One more can’t hurt and usually you order far too much food anyway. He agrees eagerly with a smile 

Areum and Oli have met Seokjin once before and they greet him warmly when he joins the three of you in the small sitting area. Areum helps you grab some plates and napkins in preparation for the food arriving. Once in the kitchen she peeks over her shoulder to make sure she’s not heard, whispering lowly - “Are you two dating now?” 

“W-what?” You stutter, so completely taken aback you almost drop the porcelain you’re holding. “No!” 

“Don’t look so offended.” Areum laughs at your reaction. “He’s gorgeous. And so into you.” “No he’s not. Don’t be ridiculous.” You’re quick to defend. Seokjin is your friend and nothing more. You have Yoongi. Sort of. 

“So you wouldn’t mind if he and Oli…?” She nods her head towards the two of them, talking and smiling.

“Of course not.” You answer sharply. Areum looks at you as if she doesn’t believe you but doesn’t press the topic further as you rejoin your friends.

“Oh y/n, before I forget someone called for you this afternoon. I totally forgot to say before I had my nap.” Oli says as you sit down. “That Yoongi guy.” 

Both of the girls are familiar with Yoongi, given the amount you speak with him.  You called each other every other night, it was unusual for him to call during the day. “Oh. Thank you for letting me know. Do you guys mind if I call him back real quick before dinner?”

Your friends assure you it’s fine and you disappear to the kitchen where the house phone resides. Quickly you dial Yoongi’s number, having long since memorised it. You eye the clock, hoping it’s him that answers and not one of his parents. Thankfully your silent prayer is answered when his gruff voice greets.

“Yoongi, it’s me.” You begin quietly. “I’m so sorry I missed your call today, I only just found out - “

“ - It’s okay.” He interupts gently. “You’re calling now.”

“How are things?”

He lets out a worrying sigh. Something in your gut alerts you that things are not good for him right now. “Mom’s in the hospital. Courtesy of Mr Asshole himself.” He spits the last part out with venom.

“Oh my god. Is she okay?” 

“Yeah. No. Well, she’s alive. He broke her jaw, knocked out a few teeth.” He says it so casually, it only further exemplifies how used to this behaviour he has become. It’s a miracle he is nothing like his father. “She lied about it to the doctors but y/n, they know. I can see it in their eyes and they either look at us like we’re stupid or that they pity us.”

“I’m sure they don’t think that. They probably see instances like this all the time. It’s heartbreaking as an outsider.” You assure. “This could be a huge turning point. To actually get your mom away from your dad.”

“Yeah.” He exhales. It’s clear he doesn’t believe your nor agree. “Fuck, I wish you were here right now y/n.”

“Me too.” You reply softly, heart aching in your chest. You wish you were too. “It’s almost the weekend, maybe I can book a train home?” You have your first assignment due in a week and definitely don’t have the time to waste at home but for Yoongi you would do anything. 

“You don’t have to do that.” He sounds choked up. You wonder if he’s crying. “I’ll be busy looking after my mom anyway. I just needed to hear your voice. I miss you.”

“I miss you. Remember you have my key? Use it as much as you need it. You can always come up here for a day or a weekend.” You suggest.

The knock at the door signalling that the food has arrived is loud enough that Yoongi hears it through the phone. Areum’s voice yells to you as she answers it. “Sounds like you have to go. I’m sorry if I’ve ruined your evening.” Yoongi tells you sadly.

“Can I call you later?” You ask hopefully.

“Please.” Yoongi sighs. 

“Bye Yoongi. Speak soon.”

“Bye.”

You hang up, plastering on a fake look of happiness as you rejoin your friends. They seem convinced, apart from Seokjin. “Boyfriend troubles?” He asks, in a not so subtle attempt of inquiring information of your relationship status. Areum and Oli exchange a knowing glance. 

“No,” You reply with a shake of your head. “I don’t have a boyfriend. Just checking in with a friend back home.” 

“I see.” Seokjin side eyes you, a secret smile tugging at his lips. 

Strangely, Yoongi sleeps better knowing his mother is in the safety of the hospital. He spends the night alone, dad having long since fucked off somewhere. Yoongi doesn’t know where and more importantly, he doesn’t care. There’s peace in his home for the first time in forever.

His mind wanders to you. He hopes he hasn’t ruined your evening too much. From what you’ve shared through the phone college life is kicking off to a wonderful start. He wishes he could experience it too.

As you had anticipated, month two of college has your workload almost doubling. Thursday night dinners don’t happen weekly anymore, given how much time you spend studying just to keep up with the rest of your classmates. When you were in high school your natural ability allowed you to not just get by but succeed. 

To be struggling, this early on in college, feels embarrassing. 

You talk less frequently with Yoongi and your family. In fact you barely even see the people you live with. Seokjin, however you see often, given that he works in the library. The single downside to this means he’s the only one who knows your secret. That college is hard and you’re drowning a little.

Once again, it’s a friday night and you’re buried in a mountain of books, furiously taking notes. Your hand aches, you have eye strain and your stomach has been gurgling for the last hour and a half. The sound of the chair opposite you screeching along the marble floor forces you to lift your head. 

“You’re here more than I am.” It’s Seokjin, smiling at you as he plops down onto the chair. 

You sigh. “Yeah, we’ve got a huge essay due soon and I need to do well.”

“I can help you if you want. I’ve passed that course, remember?” He taps the side of his temple. “I’m as smart as I am handsome y/n.”

You can’t help but laugh as you roll your eyes. “I could use some help.” You begin timidly. “If you don’t mind! And you’re not busy. I know it’s Friday…”

“I’m happy to make time for you.” He smiles and you feel like a fool when it makes you blush. 

Seokjin spends a further hour in the library with you and your coursework. He helps you tweak the essay where it needs it, knowing exactly what the professors are looking for. By the time you’re almost done it feels as if a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. Your stomach embarrassingly gurgles again and that’s when he decides you’ve had enough for one night.

“Come on, we’re getting food.” He is so commanding you can’t help but go along with it. 

Both of your roommates are out for the night so heading to your place seems like the best idea, opting to pick up some food on the way. You’re so dead on your feet having Seokjin practically push and pull you around and then home is welcomed.

The shrill pitch of a telephone ringing welcomes you as you cross the threshold into your apartment. You dash for the phone leaving Seokjin to deal with the paper bag of take out food. “Hello?”

“Hey.” It’s Yoongi. “I’ve been calling you for ages, y/n. Where’ve you been?”

“I’ve been studying. I guess I lost track of time.”

“You said you’d call me at seven.” Yoongi sounds grumpy and defensive. You wonder what’s happened at home now.

“I’m sorry. School is kicking my ass Yoongi.”

“Then don’t tell me you’ll call me at seven if you’re busy.” He almost spits at you. Someone’s clearly in a bad mood tonight.

“I said I was sorry.” 

You watch Seokjin behind you as he dishes the food on plates for you both, politely pretending to not listen to your conversation. He has no choice, the phone is stuck to the wall, leaving you trapped there. 

Yoongi heaves a long sigh on the phone. “I’m just struggling a little too.” He admits, leaving you feeling instantly guilty. 

“How's your mom?”

“Not good, but not any worse.” 

“I know it’s hard without me and Hobi there, but christmas is soon and I’ll be home for nearly four weeks.” You remind him. 

“I can’t wait.”

Before you can reply Seokjin’s voice is tearing you away from the conversation. “Do you want to eat in your room or the couch?”

“Couch.” You reply, hand over the receiver in an attempt to mute your voice. 

“Who is that?” Yoongi's voice is terse.

“Just a friend staying for dinner.”

“It’s a guy.” Yoongi states.

“A friend.”

“You said you were studying.”

“I was.”

“It doesn’t sound like it. You’re ditching me for a college boy already and it’s only been a few weeks. Glad I’m so memorable to you.”

He hangs up and you stand there in shock, the sound of the dial tone echoing in your ear.

Yoongi slams the phone down, an action that is usually satisfying but does nothing for him in the moment. He squeezes his eyes shut and takes a few deep breaths, willing the anger he feels surging to subside. How could you move on so easily? He definitely had not imagined your feelings for him. So either he was stupid, or you had lied.

You’re hanging out with a guy who is comfortable enough to suggest being alone together in your bedroom and you have the audacity to claim he’s ‘just a friend’. He’s someone you clearly are overly familiar with. Yoongi scoffs out loud in sheer disbelief. 

He has to pull himself together. He can’t allow himself to get angry, not when his mom needs him. She still has a few more weeks of recovery and he’s been taking care of her best he can. An unfortunate and tragic upside to his mom’s injuries is that his dad has left her alone, leading to a relatively peaceful home life. Yoongi can’t be the one to destroy it now by letting his emotions get the better of him.

A few more deep breaths and he’s in a decent enough headspace to go check on his mom. Her painkillers are due soon, anyway. Yoongi retrieves a granola bar and some fruit so she isn’t taking them on an empty stomach. 

“Mom?” He knocks on the door to the spare bedroom, where she has been resting. The room was formerly Yoonseoks. In a bid to cling onto some hope of him returning, his mother has kept it intact. Yoongi knows his brother isn’t coming back. 

She makes a noise signalling he’s welcoming to come in. Because of her injuries she’s unable to talk well at the moment. 

“I brought you some painkillers.” He says gently, placing the items on the nightstand. She hums appreciatively. “I spoke to Dad.” He sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed. His mom nods, muting the TV she had been watching. “He’s staying with Uncle Jihoon tonight.”

His mom weakley reaches to squeeze his hand affectionately. He knows that means thank you. 

“The hospital called and confirmed your sick pay will extend.”He sighs, rubbing at his tired eyes roughly. “I said you were getting better and would be back as soon as you could.”

He stares at her for a few moments, wishing he had a normal life like you do. “I love you mom, I’m going to leave the door open if you need me.”

“I love you too.” She replies. It makes his chest squeeze knowing that she spoke, even though it pains her. Just to tell her son she loves him.

He nods curtly and leaves the room, ensuring the door is ajar. When he’s back in his own room he collapses on the bed exhausted. The last few weeks have been draining and his sleep is suffering. It’s restless, fraught with bad dreams. He sleeps much lighter, listening out for his mother. 

He wishes he didn’t resent you and Hobi so much for leaving him. He wishes his dad didn’t have anger issues and no self control. He wishes his mom was stronger and told his dad to get out a long time ago. More than anything, he wishes he had a normal life.

As ever you’re the nicer friend and you phone Yoongi to make up the next day. He feels like an asshole, knowing how much you hate conflict, but he misses your voice so much lately  that it’s enough to override his own dickery behaviour. As usual it  doesn’t take you long to have him smiling again. 

Before you part ways you tell him it’s only thirty three days until you’re home.  He promises to be there waiting for you at the train station the day you arrive. Something warm blooms in his chest and he realises it’s the first time he’s felt hopeful in weeks.

Seokjin insists on taking you out on the last night before winter break. Your complaints about the cold fall on deaf ears as he all but drags you from your apartment. He wraps his oversized red scarf around your neck throwing out a see? Now you have nothing to complain about. And he was right it felt nice., The cotton is warm against your skin and smells like Seokjin’s cologne. 

There’s a large christmas market close to campus in which he buys you some hot chocolate. It reminds you of the smaller one back home that you and Yoongi would frequent ever since you were old enough to understand the concept of the holidays. 

“Let’s go for a walk.” Seokjin suggests. “The Yanghwa bridge is pretty at night.”

There’s a comfortable silence between you as you stroll side by side. He spots you shivering and slips an arm across your shoulders, tugging you close to his side. His body heat is welcoming. You peer up at him to try and read his expression but he’s staring straight ahead, a wry smile playing on his lips. 

“I love Seoul.” You sigh happily. “I might actually miss it back at Daegu.”

“I wish I was going back to Daegu. My parents always go to Japan this time of year.” 

“You gonna send me a postcard from Japan?” You ask jokingly, nudging him slightly with your shoulder.

“Obviously. How are you going to go weeks without talking to me?” He grins. 

You shake your head with a laugh. He’s been such a welcome intrusion to your life lately a tiny, miniscule, barely there, part wonders the same.

Seokjin stops walking when you reach the middle of the bridge. The view combined with the lights is spectacular. You almost miss how he angles his body towards you until his hands are slipping around your waist and pulling you against his lean figure.

“Y/n, I really like you.” He says thickly.

You are almost unable to respond. You’re not stupid, he’s been dropping hints for months now but to actually hear the words leave his mouth is alarming. Your mind is racing a mile a minute, heartbeat increasing as you think of Yoongi. You shouldn’t be in this precarious situation, you’re not together but he’s yours - 

Seokjin completely disrupts your internal monologue by pressing his soft, plush lips against your own. He’s gentle, fearful as if you might completely reject him. When you don’t (to your own surprise) he presses his mouth against you a little harder. 

You don’t want to admit to yourself how good it feels. 

Seokjin’s large hands tug you somehow impossibly tighter against his body as he slips his tongue against your bottom lip, parting your mouth as he goes. It’s so different to Yoongi. It’s sweet. It’s new, uncharted terrority. Just as you begin to get into it and further deepen the kiss, his touch becomes infuriatingly tame.

He smirks at you when he finally pulls away. You can only imagine how dazed you look. 

“I- uh, what was that for?”

“You look cute in my scarf.” Is all he says, as if he didn’t have his tongue down your throat a moment ago. He laughs when your face twists with disbelief. 

“Seokjin, I’m not - I can’t. I shouldn’t be doing this..” You cringe at how embarrassing that sounds and how incoherent it is.

The confident exterior he brought with him tonight cracks just a little. “Why? You said you didn’t have a boyfriend.” He frowns.

“I don’t. But there’s someone. It’s really complicated. I’m sorry.”

“Ah,” He nods as he accepts the meaning of your words. “I see,” He sighs. “I’m not totally out of the running I hope?”

“I - “

“Look. Think about it over break. I like you. We have fun together! It would be nice to see where it could go.”

“Seokjin - “ You try once more. He shushes you with a smile. 

Despite the kiss the rest of the evening is nice. Thank god you don’t have to see him for a while though. 

The nearly four hour train ride back to Daegu leaves you with plenty of time to think. Too much time, as it turns out. As much as you attempt to bury yourself in the book and magazine you’ve brought to serve as distractions. 

Seokjin kissed you last night. Seokjin kissed you. Seokjin kissed you and you liked it.

You’re on your way to see a boy who you have admitted openly how you feel for him, a boy who has waited months for you and you spent your last moments away kissing someone else. Even though you and Yoongi aren’t official you still feel awful. And if you’re brutally honest with yourself it’s because you can envision dating Seokjin. One could argue you sort of are already. He’s definitely been courting you.

When you step onto the platform and observe Yoongi for the first time, your breath traps in your throat. He looks like a brooding artist standing there in his leather jacket and chuck taylors. Your walk turns into a half run in a bid to get to him as quickly as possible. 

He huffs an ‘oomf’ when you crash your body into his but hugs you so tightly that he sweeps you off your feet. 

Yoongi carries your suitcase to the car for you. Neither of you can wipe the lovesick smiles from your faces. He holds your hand across the console as he drives, occasionally rubbing his thumb on your palm. It’s so sickeningly domestic and you love it.

When you’re finally alone in your room his lips are on your neck before either of you have removed your outer clothing. He’s all kisses and whispered praise as he undresses you. You’re naked on your back for him as he licks your pussy and all you can manage to breathlessly gasp is “I fucking missed you.”

You come with his tongue buried inside you and his fingers tweaking your nipples. “I fucking missed you, my pretty girl.” He whispers, biting the shell of your ear. 

The weight of his heavy cock in your hand is familiar. A visible shudder runs through him at your touch. When you get on your knees for him an exhilarated sigh leaves his lips. “Gonna suck my dick huh?” He’s almost mumbling to himself. You answer him by taking his cock in your mouth. He groans like he’s never had his dick wet before. “Fuck,” spills from his mouth like a mantra. 

Before he has the chance to get carried away he’s fisting your hair and flipping you onto your front. Yoongi fucks you harshly from behind. The hand in your hair grasps at your scalp to leave your head permanently tilted back for him. He shoots his seed as deep inside of you as the angle allows. 

His heavy breath on your neck and sweat on your skin feels fucking fantastic. You could die right now, happy, satiated and stupidly in love with Min Yoongi.

Christmas Day had always been just another day in the Min household. He only became aware of how abnormal his family’s style was when he was barely a preteen and other kids at school would discuss the fantastical ways they spent their holidays. Even kids who didn’t celebrate the holiday seemed to enjoy it more. He didn’t particularly feel much about Christmas.

Until he met you. And your family welcomed him with open arms. A gesture which included inviting him over every single year. The invitation extended to his family but usually he attended solo (except for that one time Yoonseok joined and spitefully pushed your plate onto your lap). 

This year is no different. 

Your mom feeds him well. She’s kind to him, taking a keen interest in his life. Your father always asks about the one interest they have in common - basketball. It’s not much but Yoongi’s dad has never broached the subject. 

After dinner you suggest going for a walk, an idea with which Yoongi happily obliges. Unable to stop himself he’s lacing your hands together the moment you’re out of eyesight from your parents’ house. He kisses the back of your knuckles as he throws you a devilish grin. 

Naturally you gravitate towards the enormous Christmas tree and ice rink in the town center. It’s been a long standing tradition, however it feels far more romantic this time. It’s just the two of you and you’re holding hands, just like the other couples that frequent the area. The sparkling lights on the fir light up your eyes like stars.

Snow begins to fall as you come to a stop at the wooden railing that separates the tree from the public. Yoongi lifts the hood on your parka jacket up for you, kissing you on the cheek as he goes. It’s not even comparable for the amount you do for him but anything he can give you he will.

Adorably you nuzzle into him, resting your head on his chest. His arms automatically wrap around you and he lets out a breath of content. You probably won’t be able to stay out much longer given the rapidly declining temperature so he’ll enjoy this while he can. 

“Yoongi!” 

A voice startles him, calling out from somewhere in the distance. Yoongi’s head whips round to see Hoseok and Anni of all people. Without thought he quickly, albeit harshly, pushes you away from him, lest you get caught in such a compromising position. No one knows about you two and he’d like to keep it that way. He already knows you’re too good for him; he does not need others reinforcing it at every opportunity. 

Yoongi doesn’t think he’s made a mistake until he glimpses one look at your hurt, confused expression. 

“Hey guys.” Hobi greets you both warmly. Yoongi notices he’s holding hands with Anni. 

“Hey.” You reply. “Merry Christmas! It’s nice to see you both.”

“You too!” Anni replies warmly. “Did you have Christmas at the l/n house?”

“Yeah.” Yoongi mutters. “Just walking off the carbs.” 

“Hobi met my parents for the first time.” Anni’s expression is one of pure happiness and he can’t help but feel a little jealous. “We had dinner together too.”

“Aw, that’s lovely.” You say. Yoongi can tell you’re upset, your tone sounds forced. “I bet they adored you Hobi.”

“”Of course.” Hoseok flashes that winning smile. “When are you both free? We should go for dinner or something.”

“How about - “ Yoongi starts.

“I’m not sure, I’ve got lots of schoolwork.” You cut him off and he shuts up instantly. “I’ll phone you Anni and we can sort something out?”

“Sure.” Anni says slowly. “We’ll leave you guys. I want to go inside anyway because I'm cold. Hopefully see you soon!”

Anni gives you a warm hug while Yoongi hugs Hoseok. They both wave cheerfully as they leave. He watches their happy retreating forms until they disappear round a corner. When he faces you once more your body language has completely shifted. Arms folded across your chest, gaze turned downwards. 

He feels uncomfortable, he knows he hurt you but he’s not entirely sure how. Now it’s awkward. “Should we uh, walk some more?”

“Are you sure you want to be seen with me? You pushed me away from you so fast back there I almost fell over.” You mumble. 

“I didn’t mean to. Hobi and Anni don’t know about...anything.”

“So?” You finally look up to meet his eyeline. To his utter dismay your big eyes are glossy with unspilled tears. “Would it be so bad if they did?”

“Uh..I, um. I don’t know.” He trips over his wording like an idiot. The only reason he’s never breathed a word about your illicit activities to anyone is because he naturally assumed you didn’t want anyone to know. Yoongi wasn’t exactly the epitome of a model boyfriend.

“Why have you never asked me on a date? Why have you never asked me to be your girlfriend?” You demand and he panics. He doesn’t have an answer stronger than I don’t know and he’s confused as to why you’re so angry. He naively assumed what existed between you was enough. 

“Do you seriously think someone like me would make a good boyfriend?” He all but groans. You of all people should understand that fact. He’s never had a girlfriend. “I don’t do relationships.”

“Then why treat me like I’m yours? Why hold my hand? Why tell me you love me?!”

He doesn’t know what to say. He makes the fatal mistake of shrugging. 

You laugh mockingly. “Do you even love me? It feels like you’re just ashamed of me. Couldn’t even stand to touch me in front of your best friend. Just like that I let you have sex with me, I guess.”

“Y/n…” He starts. How is he even supposed to respond? This is all his fault. He’s only ashamed of himself, never you. “I can’t be what you need.”

An uncomfortable tightness constricts in his chest at the verbal admission. The sentiment has been lurking in the back of his mind since the moment he first started noticing you as more than just his friend. You deserve someone happy, stable, with a good background. Not the chaotic baggage he brings.

“You’re not allowed to have your cake and eat it too, Yoongi. That’s not fair.” You sniff as a lone tear escapes. “You can’t treat me this way, get jealous about dudes and then refuse to claim me.”

He had never even thought about it like that, unable to realise that’s what he had been doing to you.

“A guy at college kissed me, you know.” You blurt, heatedly.  His guilt quickly turns to shock and now Yoongi wants to throw up because you lied to him. You were off at college kissing people and then hopping back to him, the fool that waits for you no matter what.

“Is that so?” He mutters, hot anger bubbling in his chest. You nod staring at him fiercely. “I’ve met someone too.” It’s a lie. “I just respected you enough not to do anything.”

The entire atmosphere changes. You’re gawking at him as if he’s slapped you in the face.

“You've met someone?” 

He hums in agreement, terrified to commit even further to the lie. 

“Who?”

“No one that you know. But you’ve obviously met someone too, so it’s whatever.”

Mascara tears spill down your cheeks and it physically pains to witness. He turns his head to the side, unable to watch any further. He did this to you. 

“If it’s ‘whatever’ to you then maybe we shouldn’t do this - ” A sob chokes you mid sentence. “ - anymore.”

How is his Christmas day ending so spectacularly poorly? How is this his current reality? Yoongi’s brain and mouth stall, torn between the desire to rescue this horrific situation and hate you for kissing someone else. It simultaneously feels like a lifetime and a split second before you’re speaking, deciding for him.

“Nothing to say? Really?! Maybe I don’t know you so well after all,” the evident heartbreak in your voice makes his eyes burn. Now he really can’t bear to look directly at you. 

“You kissed someone.” He mumbles, weak and pathetic. “Maybe I don’t know you.”

“I’m leaving, don’t follow me.” 

He glances just in time to watch you walk away. “Fuck,” He groans a little too loudly, attracting the attention of a family nearby. Angrily he kicks a stone and clutches at his hair. He might be the biggest idiot alive. This is exactly why he could never be your boyfriend, he can’t handle anything.

Cold and numb, and not just from the weather, he reaches inside the breast pocket of his jacket and pulls out a cigarette. It’s a fairly new habit, so new you don’t even know about it yet, but fuck, does he need to take the edge off. 

You manage to escape your parents and disappear to the safety of your bedroom as soon as you arrive home. Aggressively you draw your curtains shut, a not so subtle message to Yooni. The implication is clear; you do not want to talk. You doubt he’ll be making an appearance tonight anyway. This was no regular arguement.

You recall that night you left for school, the night he told you he loved you. Technically he never said the words. You. knowing him for most of his life, had assumed he felt what you had. Perhaps you assumed incorrectly. Horrifically inaccurately. And now your heart is wilting in your ribcage. 

Stupid, lovesick, little girl.

The train ride back to Seoul is bordering on unbearably lonely, despite the carriage full of passengers. The days after Christmas that bled into New Years seem like a depressing blur that you don’t wish to recall but somehow can’t stop thinking about.

You haven’t heard from Yoongi since that horrible night. You wonder if someone else is occupying his time and that’s why he doesn’t wish to make amends. It’s always you extending the proverbial olive branch. You want him to want to do the same. Right now it looks like he doesn’t.

a/n: if this gave you a rollercoaster of emotions and made you feel sad, dw you’re not the only one, lol. each part is going to be about 20k so buckle up babies! (this story is still going thru editing so if u see mistakes IM SORRY) thank you as always for reading :)))))) P.S feedback makes me happy, lmk what u think! what u think might happen! if you want to slap me for writing so much angst lol! <3

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i don’t condone any copying or translations of my work. written 2020©

[washymylifeaway]

SunaOsa fanfic recs: valentines edition~~

SunaOsa is one of my all time favorite ships and this past month, there has been/was an exchange going on between writers (here is the link) and artists (separately) and because I don’t have a life (or maybe it’s just that SunaOsa is my life LOL), I’m here to tell you some of my favorite fics from the pile :D However, as much as I love a ship, sometimes fluff is too asajndajnd so mind you there will probably be a lot of good fics missing just cause I couldn’t get myself to read more fluff (or angst) LOL (IM SORRY but sometimes I also just can’t motivate myself to read a fic no matter how good it looks OOPS).

As always, please check warning and tags before reading any of these fics, and take care of yourselves!!!!

In no particular order (jk the order is last updated haha) tho my favorites will have *** next to them :)

***glass stained black by unrequitedangst (E) 31k // Mafia AU’s are some of my favorite kinds of fics, and this one did not disappoint! The character development of Osamu is really legit and despite being mafia, it’s not that heavy or angst of a fic (but you should still definitely read tags and warnings first). It’s an Osamu heavy fic, and if you’re into reading him being stupid, go right ahead LOL.

redux by catalysis (T) 2.3k // ngl I hate break-up fics with a passion truely (when you can’t handle fluff or angst what to do) but I liked the concept for this one hehe (so I made myself suffer LOL). It was short, but cute !!! and the unspoken words really hit me in the FEELS (so what I’m dramatic fight me LOL).

Impropriety by DeathBelle (T) 5.7k // royalty~ I love the banter between them in this fic and we DO stan respectful Osamu yes we do <33333 The relationships between not only SunaOsa but SunaAtsu (because even though it isn’t really SunaAtsu best friend agenda, I can delude myself into think it is okay :/) are done so well and so nice he’s mean Osamu is best Osamu.

***what are you waiting for? by Slumber (T) 3.7k // MIGHT BE MY FAV FIC FROM THIS EXCHANGE!!! It made me cackle and I love how they learn new things about each other!!!! Like the development is so good and Suna is really doing the MOST!! Also, I love recursive endings AHHHHHH!

agape by sketchedsmiles (T) 11.7k // soulmates, then they were SOULMATES! (ik that’s not how it goes but pls just humor me LOL) This fic really depicted Osamu’s insecurities/internal turmoil/overthinking really well and the realization he has vs Suna’s AHJAFKASFJ. I love confident Suna.

fireside by tartaglia (starkartifices) (T) 3.6k // we do love the subtle flirt flirt don’t we hehe ;) It’s short, it’s fluff, and it’s funny - what more could you ask for? Also whats a vigilante fic if there isn’t at least one pun about being a vigilante LOL.

Over and Over Again by tookumade (G) 6.4k // I would like to order one reassuring, reliable Miya Osamu for myself please and thank you :((( The way the relationship is so GOOD like both Suna and Osamu pick each other up and they know the other has their back ajfhkajdfl. I would purchase all the onigiri with the deal Suna was proposing ;) Onigirintarou.

from here to eternity by TheGlovedArtist (T) 6.6k // I for one am a big fan of mythology and stuff (heroes of olympus but like IDR any of the plot LOL) so of course I read this fic. The snark appearances of Sakusa and Komori gave me LIFE and the difference in descriptions from Astumu and Kita cracked me up. This is another respectful Osamu fic (yes I love these) and in this one it was a ‘I save you as much as you save me’ type beat LOL. Gotta love rings.

***Subtle Inarizaki Dating by sifuhotman (T) 15.2k // THIS ONE. Even if you don’t read the whole thing, I beg of you, please, I AM ON MY KNEES, read the SID for Astumu. It is worth the loss of all your brain calls I guarantee it. It made me giggle so freakin much. Suna might be an A-Hole but he’s OUR A-Hole <3

Forever Begins with 8 Seconds by subtlehues (T) 3.9k // FLUFF hehe, I love their dynamic in this one it’s very good and cute and everything great! Also, I am all for the head cannon that Suna cannot cook, yes pls. Also SUPERPOWERS whooooooooh.

***try again, and again, and again by rosegoldwriting (T) 2.6k // SOULMATES! If you ever wanted a specific soulmate AU! for SunaOsa look no further, it probably comes out LOL. I love this concept of them just being like ‘WTF’ everyday, it gives me life. Also, count how many soulmate AU’s you recognized because I just thought about it and I think it’d be fun LOL. (I went back and I think 11 but I’m not sure LOL)

let us burn by SilverMoonT (G) 13.5k // I am always up for a nice vampire Osamu and witch Suna (which believe it or not, is my second one because I read the other one by this writer LOL) This one is more Suna POV and it really goes into his fears and desires, and I like the way Osamu pushes him to live more freely.

***reasons to microwave an elixir by spiritscript (T) 8.2k // THIS ONE. UGH I love, and it’s funny and cute and it EVEN HAS CRIME (kinda not really but yes)! I love the quiet moments they have and the PET AHHHHHHH! We love medic Osamu :DDDDD But also the betrayal and the sparring (and the irony at the end LOL) AJSKJNFK.

we fall between by stringendos (T) 14.7k // honestly the entire time I was just screaming at my computer, begging for them to hurry up and realize, but alas this is a ~slow burn~ for a reason and the tag ‘exes who act like theyre married’ really is the reason I read it and I do not regret LOL. Also bless Matsuda and stan her.

All the Time in the World by minie_ai (M) 8.8k // we love immortality! Denial! And Suna mentally filing away blackmail against people (namely Astumu) LOL. Running away from your problems is always the answer (I am saying this is a not sarcastic manner because I too, run away from my problems LOL) but ramen is ALWAYS a good answer. We love ourselves some emotional constipation LOL.

***none but you by broikawa (T) 7.2k // everything is a competition always LOL, not that I’m complainin but still LOL EVERYTHING. I really love this one because I love the progression and cock-block SakuAtsu hehe. I love them being synchronized idiots <3

it all comes back to you, (my home) by iritaescents (T) 4.5k // FOREVER, WE STAN FOREVER. Anyway, LOL this was is very very cute and fluff and not slow burn, it fast burn LOL. It’s a cute fic to read and it even has our favorite, now say it with me SOULMATES LOL.

Can't help falling in bed with you by tirralirra (T) 6.7k // here we see a 5 + 1 with points for the title (I think it’s very funny LOL my humor is bad ;)) Not that it really needs extra points because it’s a great fic in itself LOL but I really liked the title so I felt the need to share this with you all (OOPS). This was so cute, and the + 1 is HILARIOUS.

It’s no longer up :(((((( -> love's consequences by xginpuff (T) 6.5k // WARNINGS AND TAGS been a while since we had an angsty fic in this list (LOL the way I just tried to avoid all of them hehe). I read the tags but ngl I was still surprised later LOL maybe I’m just dumb, but anyway IK it starts out a bit confusing, but after you read more, you’ll get into it!

***sunagashi by bastigod (T) 9.8k // if there’s anything I like more than mythology, it’s folklore LOL. I love this fic and the plot is written so artfully AHDSAJN. Also the scene with the Ume-chan and her comment (so snarky I love). Also they way I went through so much trouble trying to figure out the kanji LOL (SPOILER it’s miyarin hehe)

catch me (while i'm still runnin') by lunarins (T) 4.3k // first and foremost, may we have a moment of silence for Komori and his eyebrows..... Continuing, this fic was so good because I love a good heist hehe. Their slight of hand abilities really doing the most LOL, and the ending OMG. I love the way the writer added in how they appeared to others during the heist, it really made it so good! Ugh to have a painting class and almost die LOL.

***if we get this right by Slumber (G) 5k // OLD FRIEND plsplspls I love this fic and I love how Osamu slowly relearns who he knew Suna as AHHH. The ending, again UGH, I really loved it and their banter with one another.

The Study of Suna Rintarou by DeathBelle (T) 6.1k // PLEASE the way Osamu kept getting offended omg. But also the effort Suna puts into getting to know Osamu, I was in ~love~. Read to me Osamu, READ TO ME. But also the Osamu is an oblivious MF agenda is alive and well within this fic hehe.

Take a Hint by pancake_surprise (G) 2.3k // ok so I had just read a tumbr post about the one bed thing and then I saw this fic. It was like the stars aligned okay? I was like, ig I HAVE to read it now hehe. But seriously read it, it’s cute and like everything else, of course there’s a challenge to be made LOL.

Heatwave by pancake_surprise (G) 2.1k // the way they were dating without knowing they were dating man. The tag ‘Didn't Know They Were Dating‘ more accurate than the ‘first dates’ one LOL jk but actually tho am I kidding? It’s the first official one IG. LOL anyway, we do love the doin of the defining of relationships. Yup.

If you made it all the way down here, CONGRATS LOL. Like I said, I didn’t read all of them (sadly) and these were the ones i did read LOL. I might add more depending on whether I can motivate myself into reading fics I know will be good LOL so we’ll see heh. Honestly, I thought I was gonna get word counted, but YAY we finished (for now hehe). Also sorry for any possible typos (is this no beta we die like men?) I’m running on 90 min of sleep so my engrish be strugglin LOL. Be safe and wear masks :)

[sugakookielix]

BTS Reaction: You Wear a Revealing Outfit

Prompt: You wear a revealing/sexy outfit in front of the boys 

Requested? Yes 

Genre: Smut, Fluff

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Suggestive Themes, Swearing

Female reader. Gifs are not mine!

Masterlist

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Kim Namjoon:

It honestly wasn’t too uncommon for you to wear clothes that were tight fitting or that showed off a bit of skin. You felt a lot more confident when you wore these things and you knew that Namjoon loved when you wore them as well. He never really had a problem with you showing off your figure a bit, since you did look good and he felt that you should wear what makes you feel comfortable. It had been a few weeks since you had really been able to spend time with your boyfriend and Namjoon finally got a night off so he figured the two of you could go out. He had gotten a reservation at your favorite restaurant and had bought you a new dress for the occasion. It was tight fitting to show off your curves and short enough that it barely touched your thighs. Pair the dress with your favorite heels and makeup and you were set to go. When Namjoon saw you walk into the living room he immediately ran his gaze across your body, drinking in every detail with a smirk. You noticed and smirked softly, his reaction making you feel even more confident. 

“Like what you see?” you asked teasingly, causing Namjoon to smirk as well as he walked over to you. 

“A lot,” he said as he rested his hands on your hips, pulling you over to him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him softly, which he eagerly returned. “Damn baby girl,” Namjoon growled when you pulled away, “I’m half tempted to skip dinner and rip that dress off of you.” You laughed softly and hit his chest. 

“I did not get all dressed up for nothing, you’ll just have to contain yourself until we get home.” Namjoon hummed in thought as he buried his face into your neck. 

“No promises.” 

Kim Seokjin:

To Jin, you had always been his innocent princess. With your cute expression and oversized sweatshirts, (that were his 90% of the time). He loved that look on you, and it did always make you look small and innocent. You had never really worn anything that showed off your body. Not because you were insecure, but just because you found the baggier and larger outfits more comfortable. This time however, was a bit of a special occasion. This was the first award show that you would be attending with Jin and you wanted to look your best. Afterall, if you were dating World Wide Handsome, you had to look the part. You had gotten in contact with one of the stylists and she had helped you pick out a nice dress. It was floor length and not too tight fitting, but it was low cut and showed off quite a bit of your cleavage. You were a bit nervous to be seen with it, but it was too late to change. 

You were waiting in the room for Jin to come and grab you so you could head out together, nervously playing with your hands. Jin had walked in a moment later, in the middle of greeting you but he stopped once he saw you. 

“Jagi, what are you wearing?” he stuttered out after a minute. You frowned softly and looked down at yourself. 

“Do you not like it?” 

“No no I love it!” he assured, “it’s just, kind of revealing don’t you think?” He didn’t mind it at all, you looked amazing. However, given the thoughts that he was having seeing you in it, he knew others would have the same idea. 

Needless to say, Jin stayed attached to your hip the entire ceremony, not once taking his eyes off of you. 

Min Yoongi:

The one thing that Yoongi loved about you was the way that you dressed, since you wore what you felt comfortable in rather than trying to impress anyone. You weren’t the most confident in your appearance, so you tended to wear clothes that hide your figure. Yoongi knew this and, despite his constant assurance that you were beautiful, he never pushed you into wearing anything else. It was extremely hot out and your air conditioner wasn’t working so you were walking around the house in only short shorts and a tank top. Evidently, you hadn’t been planning on going out at all today or you would have worn something a bit more modest. Fate seemed to have other ideas though as Yoongi called you, explaining how he left his flash drive there and he desperately needed it in order to finish his work. His voice was stoic as usual, but you could still tell how frantic he was and promised you would be there in a few minutes, quickly grabbing the item in question and rushing out the door. You hadn’t realized what you were wearing until it was too late and you were already pulling up to the building. An annoyed groan left you as you looked for something to cover up but decided to just rush in there quickly and get it over with. Yoongi turned in his chair when he heard you entering his studio, smiling softly and getting ready to thank you before stopping himself upon seeing what you were wearing. You immediately felt self conscious and tried to cover yourself as you quickly walked over and set the drive on his desk, turning to leave when he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into his lap. 

“Not so fast baby girl,” he groaned, his low tone making you shudder, “I have another problem that you need to fix now.” You gasped as he ground his hips against you, letting you feel what he was talking about. Maybe you would have to start wearing these things around him more often

Jung Hoseok:

Hobi had been trying to get you to try dancing with him for a while but you always had a different excuse every time. Not that you didn’t want to spend time with your boyfriend, but you weren’t nearly as good of a dancer as he was. Hoseok was persistent though and cornered you one day when he knew that you were free so you had no choice but to agree. Since it was fairly hot outside and you knew how intense some of his choreo could be. You decided to wear a top that showed off your stomach and sweatpants, tying your hair back so it was out of your face. At first, Hoseok hadn’t noticed the outfit that you were wearing, more focused on his excitement and teaching you the dances. It was only after the two of you decided on a short break that he finally took notice. You were covered in sweat which caused your already tight shirt to stick to your body, leaving very little to the imagination. Hoseok's breath hitched and he quickly looked away to try and clear his head before he got a bit too excited, the poses you were making not helping him either. 

“Hey Hobi,” you called out as you stretched, “can you bring me my water bottle?” He nodded and quickly brought it over to you, still trying to keep his eyes from wandering to your chest. You hadn’t noticed his strange behavior and thanked him as you took a few drinks to help cool yourself down, a few drops slipping past your mouth and dripping onto your chest. The second he saw that, he caved and you quickly found yourself pinned against the wall with your boyfriend's lips roughly pressed against your own. 

“You know Jagi,” Hoseok whispered when he finally pulled away, “that last dance was too easy, why don’t we try one thats a bit...harder.” 

Park Jimin:

Like Jin, Jimin always thought that you were more cute and innocent. You always dressed up in the cutest outfits and you would always shy behind him at the smallest of sounds. He could never really see you as anything else other than his precious baby. It was the weekend and you were planning to spend the night out with your friends since Jimin was still busy with the new album. You wanted to dress up a bit since this night was supposed to be your time to let loose and have fun, but you also were worried about wearing something too extreme. Not that you owned any outfits like that to begin with since outfits that were a little tighter than normal tended to make you nervous. After rummaging through your closet for what felt like the millionth time, you finally settled on a skirt and a semi low cut tank top. It didn’t show off much, but it was still more than you were used to and it made you a bit nervous. You were walking out of your room to grab your things and head out when you heard a familiar voice in the living room. What was Jimin doing home? He said he wasn’t going to be back until late! You froze for a moment before collecting yourself and sneaking to the front door in hopes that Jimin wouldn’t hear you...he did. 

“Jagi?” you heard his soft voice call as he got up and walked over to you, “are you going somewhere? I just got home and I thought…” he trailed off as he took in your appearance. “Jagi, what are you wearing?” You felt your face heat up as you stuttered over your own words trying to come up with an explanation, his gaze making you feel incredibly small. 

“I was just going to go out with a few friends,” you explained, “if I had known that you were going to be home then…”

“Not like that you’re not!” Jimin cut you off, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you to him, “sorry baby, but you’ll have to call your friends and cancel. We have other plans now.” 

Kim Taehyung:

Taehyung had finally gotten some time off and the two of you decided to go out and spend some much needed time together. Since the weather was nice, you decided that it would be a great idea to go swimming together. It was fun, would keep you cool, and you had just gotten a new bathing suit so it was a win-win situation. The bathing suit itself was a simple one piece, but it was a bit low in the chest and had straps at the side which showed off quite a bit of skin. Taking a second to glance at yourself in the mirror, you smiled at the way the bathing suit fit you before jogging outside. Taehyung had clearly beaten you there and was already in the water when you walked over. He swam over to the edge and looked up at you with a bright smile, trailing his eyes over your figure. 

“Is it hot out here or is that just you?” he asked, causing you to laugh as you carefully stepped into the water. Your boyfriend seemed to have other ideas though as he grabbed you and pulled you down, giving you seconds to react before you were fully submerged. Once you resurfaced, you glared over at him as he laughed, causing you to push him under as revenge. His arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you down with him so you were both underwater, crashing his lips against yours. 

Jeon Jungkook:

It had taken Jungkook a while to not get shy when he was around you. He was definitely a lot more comfortable and confident around you, but he still managed to get flustered over simple things. The farthest that the two of you had ever gone is kissing and even that was barely more than a light peck. Whenever things started to escalate, one of you would get shy and back off. He had always found you attractive, but never really found the courage to act on it...until now. He had just gotten back from tour and decided that he was going to stop by your place and surprise you, being familiar with your schedule and knowing you would be home. It was your day off and you preferred to stay home and relax rather than go out anywhere. You had actually just gotten out of the shower when you heard someone knocking on the door, quickly scrambling to put on a robe and rushing to the door. You assumed it may have just been your neighbor or a delivery, so you were pleasantly shocked when you saw your boyfriend on the other side of the door. 

“Kookie!” you exclaimed as you jumped into his arms, forgetting about the very thin fabric being the only thing separating your bare form from him. Jungkook surely noticed though, feeling his breath hitch as he cautiously ran his hands across your body. 

“Wow,” he whispered softly, “I came over to try and surprise you and yet I am the one being surprised.” You were about to ask what he meant by that when you felt one of his hands trail down your back to squeeze your thigh, realizing now how exposed you were. 

“Um yeah, let me go get dressed real quick,” you managed to stutter out, but his grip on you only tightened. 

“Stay, I think I like this look on you,” Jungkook purred, “but I think I would like it off even more!”

[whentherewerebicycles]

You seem to be really amazing at executing planned changes with food and exercise (and also generally better psychological habits) - can i ask for advice on this? I’ve finished up studying for now and realise my body has turned into a twisted up, pudgy, weakened wreck! Exercise hurts and sugar/processed food feels so cosy and I can’t seem to get through this part where i have to feel discomfort for a while before i feel better!

What works for you? Should i read that atomic habits book you mention? I saw another one recommended - the Kindness Habit - do you know anything about it?

(I tried journaling btw - but it didn’t get me anywhere)

hello!! i can share some things that have worked for me when it comes to implementing longer-term changes in diet and exercise. these seem really simple but i think that actually making big lifestyle changes is much less about summoning up colossal amounts of willpower and much more about making small but important tweaks to the way you think about/approach diet and exercise. here are five things that have been helpful to me.

(1) don’t think of diet changes in terms of restrictions (i.e., “what delicious cozy sugary things do i have to deprive myself of today to be Good”). instead, approach diet changes as a fun little game of adding in as many good things as possible (fruits, veggies, leafy green things, nuts of all kinds, whole grains, beans, etc.). every single time you are preparing a meal or looking for a snack, describe it to yourself as a chance to be creative and resourceful, as you think about fun ways to add in small good things every time you eat. especially in the early weeks, don’t restrict foods from your diet at all. focus solely on finding a creative way to add in something healthy and delicious every time you eat. (i really liked using the daily dozen checklist when i was starting out—they have an app and it’s very satisfying and fun to see how many things you can check off the list each day.)

(2) narrate this “adding-in” game aloud to yourself. for example: “oh—what if i eat a big handful of berries on top of that ice cream?”, or “i’m hungry—ooh, there are carrots in the fridge, aren’t there? i’ll eat three carrots with hummus before i switch over to pita chips”). and every time you figure out a creative way to add in a good food, stop and observe yourself doing it, and let yourself feel a little spark of delight at how clever and creative you’re being. this sounds silly, but i swear it works! part of changing your habits is changing self-talk & especially changing the kind of running narrative you have in your head about who you are and what you do. you can change that narrative in part by repeatedly reframing the way you tell it to yourself, ideally aloud (or aloud in your head) to help you can better “hear” and internalize the new story. instead of “ugh... i ate ice cream again. why don’t i have any self-control? why am i someone who just eats like crap?”, you’re offering your brain an alternate story, one that focuses less on things you perceive yourself as lacking, or on things you ‘failed’ to do, and more on the creative, positive things you did do (“i wasn’t going to eat any fruit today, but wasn’t it great that i remembered we had those frozen berries in the fridge? that’s pretty creative and resourceful of me, and plus it’s a good way to use up something i’d forgotten i even had”).

the “noticing and feeling delighted” part is just as important. to successfully change a habit, you need to find creative ways to make the new habit pleasurable in and of itself. the more pleasure you feel when you do it, the more self-reinforcing the habit itself becomes. you might not experience eating healthy foods as intensely pleasurable (at least at first, especially if you are comparing them with the intense brain-hacking pleasure that super sugary foods give us). so don’t try! instead, focus on making the choice a source of pleasure and delight. "look at how clever i was! look at how creative i can be! look at what a good choice i made! look at how good i am at this game of adding in!” that act of stopping, narrating, and letting yourself feel genuinely pleased with what you’ve just done makes the choice to add something in pleasurable, which in turn can help fuel your sense that this isn’t about having iron willpower or about cruelly depriving yourself of delicious things, but is about playing a fun little game with yourself, creating little challenges or puzzles for yourself throughout the day and then giving yourself positive reinforcement when you figure them out.

(3) manage your environment to set yourself up for success. to paraphrase the atomic habits book: the people who seem to have the best willpower are the people who have to exercise it the least. and they have to exercise it the least because they’ve very effectively managed their environment, arranging things so that the desired choices are easy and “frictionless,” while the undesired choices or habits are more inconvenient or introduce more friction (it’s harder to get to them).

the easy starter version of this (from atomic habits): put the things you want to eat in highly visible places and/or in appealing arrangements, and put the things you don't want to eat in places that aren't visible or that are inconvenient to access. ice cream goes in the very back of the fridge, buried behind all the other stuff. nuts go in a bowl on your desk so that you can idly snack on them while you work. apples and bananas go in a big brightly colored bowl right on the counter, so that every time you pass through the kitchen your eyes are drawn to them. chips go in the bottom cupboard, the one below eye level that you don't use very often, and when you get them out you pour some into a bowl and put them right back in there (instead of leaving the bag out on the counter). make the choice you want to make easy, and make the choice you don't want to make harder to get to.

eventually, the most effective way of managing your environment is just to exercise total control over what comes into your own living space. for me, if i don’t want to eat it, i don’t have it in the house. i typically also place a curbside delivery grocery order so that i don’t have to go into the store—anything that comes into my house is something i made a deliberate choice about ordering, not something i wandered by a shelf and added to my cart because i wanted a treat. something i’ve learned about myself over the years that moderation is just not in my vocabulary—i’m an all-or-nothing person, and it’s SO much easier for me to just not have stuff i don’t want to eat in the house. no ice cream in the house. no alcohol in the house. no fried things, no chips, no candy, etc etc. if someone kindly brings me baked goods that i did not ask for, i genuinely appreciate the gesture, but as soon as they leave i give them to my next door neighbor or dump them in the trash. (SORRY TO PEOPLE WHO BAKE FOR ME!) if it's in the house i'll eat it. if it's not, i won't, and i also won't miss it.

i did do this pretty gradually at first, though! when i switched to a primarily whole food plant-based diet, i focused on playing the adding-in game for a couple weeks, and then when i started getting competitive about it i decided to use my grocery order as a way of creatively boosting my fruit/veggie/etc consumption even more, and in the process i started winnowing out things that took away chances to add in a good thing. i would say it took about three or four weeks to get to my personal ideal state of Nope I Don't Have It In The House.

it takes time, but i’d say that within a month of having only things you want to eat in the house, your cravings will be gone, at least within your own managed environment (going to restaurants or traveling DOES require you to exercise willpower, but there are ways to prepare for this in advance). the good news, though, is that 6-8 months or so of eating like this usually brings with it such improved sleep, mood, energy levels, skin, hair, GI function, etc etc that you start to be like oh my GOD why would i want to eat that horrifying thing?? I KNOW HOW BAD IT MAKES ME FEEL!! I WANT TO POWER MY BODY WITH PLANTS!!!!! in other words, the pleasurable side effects of eating well becomes positively reinforcing in its own right, while the negative effects you experience when you reintroduce sugar or fried things tends to reinforce the idea that those foods Feel Bad.

(4) it's not exercise, it's movement. i too used to hate exercise and found it extremely painful and tedious and horrible. so instead of exercising i just started moving. i canceled my membership at the local dog bar, where i had been taking my dog almost every day to let him run off excess energy, and started talking short walks with him twice a day instead. if you don’t have a dog, offer to walk your friends’ dogs—trust me they will lose their MINDS with joy lol. i think that starting to build in regular walks is the best way to get active again, because walking is typically quite pleasant and it becomes positively reinforcing to like, wave at the same neighbors every day, and see the cute kids next door running around, and notice all the ways that the trees and flowers are changing, and so on.

if you do not find being outside inherently pleasurable (sometimes i do not lol esp if i’m grumpy about having to walk the dog), tie another pleasurable activity to your daily walk. i listen to about six hours’ worth of hockey podcasts a week and i am only allowed to listen to them on my walks, so i end up looking forward to the walk because i’m desperate to hear people talk about My Guys. you can also walk with friends, or call a friend while you’re walking, which is even better than podcasts!! social walks are so much fun and go by so much more quickly. i started out just doing daily 15 min walks, and over the past couple years have built up to walking between 60-90 min a day when i’m at home. sometimes i hate/dread my walk; sometimes i love it and look forward to it. but regardless of how i’m feeling, i do it every day and if i miss it once, i don’t miss it a second time. 

as far as activity goes, i think it’s totally ok to just be a person who walks a lot! but i’ve found that becoming someone who walked a lot helped change my own narrative of myself—I started to think of myself as a walker, an active person who moved a lot every day. and that made it easier to pick up other forms of activity too, or at least to adopt a curious, exploratory attitude towards other forms of movement. also once you start tracking your active minutes you tend to get quite competitive about it! or at least i do, lol. i keep a note on my phone where i write down the date + type of activity + total number of minutes I did after every burst of activity, then at the end of the week i add it all up and compare it to the previous weeks. it makes me want to do more, to beat my own numbers—or it makes me want to keep up a streak (like, if i have a five-week period where i’ve consistently hit a certain level of active minutes every week, i don’t want to break it!!).

my biggest suggestion for exercise, though, is to figure out what kinds of things you enjoy and what kinds of things you don’t, and then to spend all your time doing things you like. i HATE structured fitness classes and workout videos. i hate them so much!!!!!!!! but i love being outside, i love doing solo activities (as opposed to group workouts), and i love doing any form of movement that doesn’t feel like a Planned Workout, capital w. also becoming a hockey fan got me really interested in skating, so i picked up rollerblades and found that to be amazingly fun too (something i can do outside AND something that feels like gliding around effortlessly AND something that makes me feel closer to My Favorite Guys!!!!). you may not have passionate feelings about hockey fandom as i do, but i think it’s really just about being creative—finding a creative way to link something you don’t love to something you do love, or find pleasurable, so that you can start forging those positive associations. 

i spent my first couple years of being more active just walking walking walking, and then this past year during the pandemic when i really ramped up my movement i added in longer walks, hikes, and rollerblading, and i also looked for ways to “habit-stack,” ie attaching an activity i don’t much care for (running; exercise biking indoors; doing squats and lunges) to one i do enjoy (i take my tennis shoes when i go skating and then go for a run immediately afterwards, before i have time to talk myself out of it). there are still all kinds of things i don’t do—i really don’t love strength training + bodyweight exercises yet, and i hate stretching even though I Know I Should, and i know that if i want to get stronger and faster, or build up my endurance, i will eventually need to introduce some element of structured training into my daily movement.

BUT the idea of making those changes seems kind of cool to me now, instead of Horrifying and Dread-Inducing! i feel like all the positive associations i’ve forged have made me more curious and open to ideas i would’ve resisted with my whole being not all that long ago. i found a way to make movement pleasurable, and then (thanks to sports fandom + my tendency to go down research rabbitholes) i found a way to get myself intellectually and emotionally engaged in the general concept of being a highly active person. for me, that combination of real pleasure + intellectual/emotional stimulation is what i personally need to build & maintain good habits.

(also, just shoehorning this in at the end because i like it: the “it’s movement, not exercise” mindset shift was also really helpful to me because it stopped me from thinking of exercise as like, this highly structured, regimented, torturous thing you forced yourself through for a set period of time each day, and helped me instead think of movement as something that humans are designed to do & to naturally enjoy. instead of Forcing Myself to Exercise, i looked for more natural-feeling forms of movement that didn’t feel so artificially divided from my “real life.” i think that helped with reframing my self-narrative, too! it made being active feel more integrated into my daily life, which in turn made it easier to think of myself as an active person, someone for whom movement was just a normal part of daily life and not a thing i had to psych myself up to do every day.)

(5) it takes time to build good habits, but not nearly as much time as you might think, and eventually you stop thinking about how long you’ve been doing something and you just start enjoying it (ie it becomes a genuine change in your lifestyle/thinking, not an artificial thing you have to work hard every day to maintain).

i am not yet AN ATHLETE and may never be, but i often remind myself that it took me a little under 30 years to build up a PROFOUND aversion to exercise, so it’s actually kind of miraculous that in just two years i’ve become someone who genuinely, earnestly, enthusiastically enjoys being active and feels antsy/weird/restless when i can’t get out of the house and move. every small stride i’ve made has strengthened my trust in myself and helped me reframe the narrative i tell myself about what kind of person i am and what i do/don’t do. every time i do the thing (whether it’s exercising or making a delicious healthy dinner) & happily notice myself doing it, i reaffirm to myself that i’m the kind of person who takes care of my body and mind by eating well and spending lots of time moving outside. (as a side benefit, when i spend a lot of time happily noticing things and speaking encouragingly to myself, i also reaffirm to myself that i am a happy person who treats myself kindly and who is always eagerly seeking out experiences that feel joyful and life-affirming.)

plus, the more often you do something, the more opportunities you have to have positive experiences while doing it! not every walk is AMAZING, LIFE-CHANGING, DEEPLY FULFILLING, but like, if i am walking seven days a week, that’s seven opportunities for something cool or fun to happen on a walk (not to mention seven opportunities to reap all the physiological & emotional well-being benefits of exercise!!). and if i am really conscious and intentional about noticing and actively delighting in those positive experiences, i help wire in those positive associations more deeply, and my brain/body increasingly comes to associate movement with happiness, joy, and fulfillment. as the habit of being more active becomes fulfilling in and of itself, i don’t have to expend as much energy tricking or cajoling or bribing myself into doing it.

*

i hope this helps!! i am literally always happy to write extremely long essays in respond to simple anon questions, lol, so if you want to talk more about your own ideas for building better habits please do share!! i can also rec you specific books that i’ve found really useful—both for just like, helping me figure out how to make big changes, and also for providing that intellectual stimulation that gets me more engaged in wanting to eat well & be more active.

(also, on the extremely slim chance that you are also a hockey fan: over in my fandom sphere, we are organizing a fun summer thing inspired by one of our fave hockey players, where we’ll be planning lots of fun fannish community things to get ourselves moving this summer. it’s going to be a good time!!)

[uniquecreations]

“Clueless”

 I don’t know why I agreed to go out to a house party on a damn Thursday night knowing we had school in the morning. I guess that’s the price you pay when you lose a bet playing 2k against a known cheater. I knew Dylan cheated because there was no way in hell someone could come back from a 20-point deficit with 5 minutes left in the game unless they cheated. It was my fault, I looked away for a few seconds to check my text and when I looked back at the game, he was catching up to me.

     “That was such a bitch move Dylan, you couldn’t just take an ass whooping like a man huh?” I said turning the game off.

  “Liam bro, you couldn’t beat me if I gave you a full half worth of scores so shut that shit up and go pick out your clothes……... Loser.” He said smirking.

  “Fuck you.” I said walking back to my room.

       I was glad my parents were out of town on business and my grandma kept my two siblings because there would have been no way in hell I would have been able to talk them into letting me stay out past curfew on a weekday. I heard my shower in the hall turn on letting me know that Dylan was about to get in there. I would have to use my parent’s bathroom to shower. 20 mins later I had showered, lotioned up my body, put on my underwear and jeans. I was walking back to my room when I saw that my bathroom door was open. When I got to the door, I saw Dylan standing in the mirror taking selfies, I noticed that we had the same Express underwear on. I stepped inside the bathroom with him and we both took a selfie with our shirts off.

                                 Dylan (Left) & Liam (Right)

“This was a solo pic.” He said shoving me a little.

  “My house, my bathroom, my mirror, so I do what I want.”

  “I know you not still salty about losing that game?”

  “Nope now hurry up because I’m not trying to be out all night, we both have school in the morning, or did you forget about that?”

   “Nope that’s why I brought my school uniform with me.”

 “Oh, so you are staying over here tonight?”

 “Duh nigga”

 “Whatever.” I said walking out the bathroom and back to my room to finish getting dressed.

   We made it to the party, and it was more people than I expected it to be here for a weekday party. Once we made it inside, Dylan disappeared probably to go dance with some girl or find out where they had the liquor at. I walked around trying to find a spot to post up in when I literally bumped into Zakaria, this guy from school. He and I text often also he is the only guy I have experienced anything sexual with. It wasn’t anything to extreme just a few jackoff sessions afterschool in the boy’s bathroom.

  “Oh shit, I would’ve never expected to see you here.” Zakaria said looking at me.

  “Yeah, I lost a bet to Dylan cheating ass so I’m here.” I said trying to avoid any eye contact with him.

  “Oh, he is here?” He asked with a hint of malice in his voice or maybe it was jealousy I don’t know.

  “I don’t understand what’s yall beef with each other, yall was close at one time and yall are on the same football team.” I said shaking my head.

  “Because that nigga thinks he is entitled since he made starter.” From the way he shrugged his shoulders after that comment led me to believe that there was more to it than just that bullshit excuse.

  “Whatever, I’m going to get me bottle water and some fresh air, I will catch you later.” I said about to turn to walk off but he stopped me, he leaned in closer so that only I could hear him.

  “You wanna get together later on?” I looked at him after he said but before I could respond to him, Dylan came out of nowhere.

  “What’s going on over here?” He said giving Zakaria a death stare.

  “Just chatting with the homie, why you so worried bum ass nigga?” After Zakaria asked that, I noticed Dylan fist ball up and I knew I had to separate this two before a fight broke out in these folk’s house.

   “Ayy chill out with all that.” I said pulling Dylan back a bit, then I looked over at Zakaria who had a smirk on his face. “I’ma holla at you at school Zak.” I said before walking away with Dylan.

  Once we were far away from Zakaria, I looked at Dylan and I could tell he was still fuming from that lil altercation. After that, I knew it was time to go because if we stayed here any longer, those two would be probably go at it again. I still don’t get why Dylan got so mad at him in that short amount of time, but I was damn sure going to get to the bottom of it before this get to far out of hand. I didn’t say anything to Dylan, I just started walking towards my car, so he already knew I was over this shit. He walked to the car with an even more pissed off look on his face, but I didn’t give one damn.

  “I don’t know why I gotta leave, that bitch ass dude started with me……… I didn’t get a buzz yet.” He said scoffing in the passenger seat.

  “No, you were the one came over there with the shits, we were just talking, but since we on that what’s the reason behind this beef yall got going on?” I said pulling off and heading towards my house.

  “Cause he a fake ass nigga.” He said looking out the window.

  “You see the funny thing about that is your lying and so is he because when I asked him what yall beef was he told me something different. He said it had to do with football and you starting this season.”

  “Oh, well it had my fault that nigga trash……. I don’t wanna talk about his bitch ass no more so drop it.” He said pulling out his phone.

  “I just don’t get it Dylan, yall was cool at one point and now yall enemies, shit don’t make sense at all.”

   “Whatever Liam I don’t wanna talk about this because its pointless and all it’s going to do is piss me off so leave it alone.” I decided not to press the issue anymore for right now, but this was far from done with.

Once we made it back to my house, I went inside and upstairs to my room. I pulled off my clothes and put on some night shorts. I laid across my bed, turned the tv on and began looking for something to watch when I got a text on my phone. It was from Zak, he asked could he come over or could I meet him somewhere for one of our sessions. I didn’t bother responding to him because there was no way in hell, I was going to let him come over here while Dylan was here and second, we weren’t close like that for him to be coming to my house. The other problem was me going somewhere with him would bring up a lot of questions from Dylan ~ not that I had anything to explain to him~ that I wasn’t in the mood for. So, I finally text him back telling him another time. After a little back and forth with Zak, I sat my phone down and began watching tv when I heard music coming from the guest room down the hall. I paid it no mind because usually when he was mad, he would listen to music to calm himself down. The music that he was playing was old 90’s r&b, the kind of music our folks would listen to at cookouts. It was after 11pm by this point and if he wanted to stay up then that was on him but he would have to turn that music down so I could get some sleep.

  I walked down to where the room was and walked in, he was laying in the bed shirtless with a pillow covering his head. “You good?” I asked from the door.

  “Why don’t ask your best friend Zakaria if he is good or not?” He said not moving the pillow from his head.

  “What kinda fucking question is that? I was checking on yo punk ass but you trippin right now, anyway I’m going to sleep so turn that music down or put some headphones on.” I said walking back to my room. I walked in my room and slammed my door close, great now I was going to bed mad. About 20 minutes later I heard my room door opening. “Don’t come fucking with me Dylan or I’m putting yo bitch ass out my house.”

  “Don’t get beat up but I gotta question for you……... you wanna know what my problem is with your lil friend?” I sat up in the bed.

  “I really don’t give a damn at this point just get out my room.” I said getting irritated. He took a deep breath before he started talking again.

  “He tried to come on to me in the locker last year and I turned him down. I thought we were good until he started doing slick underhanded shit while on the field like purposely not block for me or cutting into my plays to get the ball.” Hearing him say that instantly made me think back to those games and how their friendship had changed during that time.

  “Why you aint never tell me? We been boys since elementary school, if that nigga tried you like that then I woulda beat his ass.”

  “Beat his ass or jackoff with him some more to keep him from trying his bullshit?” He said looking me in the eyes. It seemed my whole body froze, and I couldn’t find words to speak. “Yeah I know about that.”

  “Ummm I don’t know what you talking about.” I said looking at the blank tv screen.

  “So, we lying to each other now, maybe you should be careful who you do shit with and you wouldn’t have to worry about your business getting exposed.”

  “Who else knows?”  I asked.

  “From my understanding it’s just me because your lil boyfriend thought by telling me that it would make me want him. But my other question to you is why him?”

  “I don’t know it kinda just happened one day and been going on ever since ………. I can’t believe that hoe ass nigga ran his mouth like a bitch.” I said shaking my head but what I wasn’t expecting was what came out his mouth next.

  “Yeah that may be true but that’s not answering my question…… why him when I’ve been here all along?” I looked at him and once again I was speechless. “I’ve always held out hope that one day you would notice me, but it never came and when he told me that I was pissed.”

  “Why you never said nothing to me about it if you were feeling that way towards me?”

  “Because I thought maybe it was stretching because I’ve seen you pull more hoes than a lil bit, so I kept that to myself.” He said looking at the floor, for some odd reason I felt my body being drawn to him.

  “You should have told me D.” I said walking towards him. “What the old saying your mom use……. Close mouths don’t get fed.” I said lifting his head up, the look in his eyes was something I never saw before from him. We stood for what seemed like forever just looking at each other but it was a few seconds before he leaned in and place his lips on mine. The kiss began to get even more passionate as the seconds rolled by. Somehow, we ended up on my bed with me on top of him still kissing him, our hands roamed around each other bodies in perfect sync with one another.

  “We should stop before things go to far.” He said rubbing my face.

  “Yeah you right……… Dylan I’m glad you finally said something to me and I’m sorry that I didn’t notice this awhile ago.” I said kissing him again.

  “Its ok, we have the rest of high school and college to make up for lost time.” He kissed me again and got out the bed.

  “Where you going?” I asked looking at him confused.

  “To the guest room nigga duh.”

  “Sleep in here with me.”

  “You sure?”

   “I’m sure.” He walked back to the bed and got in behind me. I don’t know what the future has in store for us but I what I do know is that first in the morning I’m beating Zakaria ass. Once that’s done then I’m going to focus on making up for lost time and stop being so clueless with Dylan.

(Pictures used does not reflect the actual Characters just as visuals for the story)

©uniquecreations 2020

[kayliemusing]

30

1: Name - Kaylie

2: Age - 23

3: 3 Fears - Spiders, failure, loss

4: 3 things I love - Reading, writing, Taylor Swift

5: 4 turns on - Kindness, nice hands, humor, someone who has a really warm heart.

6: 4 turns off - Arrogance, moustaches lmao, narcissism, basket ball shorts *shudders*

7: My best friend - Her name is Megan (but also my mom lmao)

8: Sexual orientation - Heterosexual

9: My best first date - I have never been on a date.

10: How tall am I - 5'2

11: What do I miss - My childhood mostly

12: What time were I born - 2:45 pm

13: Favorite color - Red, but sometimes a nice summery, pastel yellow

14: Do I have a crush - no

15: Favorite quote - I have so many that I can't say my utmost favourite, but one that I always think about is from Richard Siken "He was pointing at the moon but I was looking at his hand." I'm not even sure how this is supposed to be interpreted, but I just love the detail of this. Of someone looking at the moon and pointing at it, but you're looking at their hand because you're that consumed by them and also they're like your moon. anyway-

16: Favorite place - My house lol

17: Favorite food - Cheesecake

18: Do I use sarcasm - Yes, but very dryly

19: What am I listening to right now - Nothing actually. I'm just sitting in the quiet.

20: First thing I notice in new person - I used to think it was physical, like eyes or their smile, but I think it's actually their demeanor. i.e., confidence, if they're laid back, talkative or quiet, etc. Or even just how they handle things. Like when I'm at work and I meet a new co-worker I'm always noticing how they are with people.

21: Shoe size - 6.5 US but I can manage a 7 US too.

22: Eye color - Grey

23: Hair color - Ashy blonde, but I usually get it highlighted to be a brighter blonde

24: Favorite style of clothing - I'm super into the French girl vibe right now (elegany, classy, ribbed sweaters tucked into high waisted jeans or dress pants, a blazer thrown over and a nice gold necklace) but I'm also really into a summery boho look (flowy maxi dresses and skirts)

25: Ever done a prank call? No

27: Meaning behind my URL - On this account, it's just my name and then 'muses' because this account is just me talking to myself tbh. My main account is called autumnsletters which is just a combo of my fav things: autumn and handwritten love letters, and finally, my embarrassing taylor swift account is called sixteenavenue which is a lyric from her song I Think He Knows where she mentions her heart skipping down sixteenth avenue.

28: Favorite movie - I feel like i don't have one answer bc I always have a different answer to this question lmao. I think it's called A Christmas Carol (the 2009 version w/ Jim Carrey). It just makes me feel cozy and warm inside. Also: Clueless.

29: Favorite song - All Too Well by Taylor Swift I think.

30: Favorite band - Of Monsters and Men

31: How I feel right now - I actually feel really happy today, which is a change lol. I had an awful week last week, but over the last couple of days I've just felt more creative and happier.

32: Someone I love - My mom

33: My current relationship status - Single

34: My relationship with my parents - Excellent.

35: Favorite holiday - Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have -0 :'(

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - I want to get my ears pierced again bc the holes grew over. Low key want a nose piericing and low key want a tattoo on my collarbone (or somewhere around there)

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - Because everyone else had it and I felt left out LOL

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - I don't have an ex

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - No

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - No i've never been kissed rip

42: When did I last hold hands? - never but it's ok bc i can hold my own hand

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Depending on what I'm doing. If I showered the night before and I'm just doing a very low-maintenance look, roughly 15-20 mins. On a normal day in which I shower in the morning and am trying to actually be presentable, roughly an hour.

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? - Have YOU shaved MY legs? No. Have I shaved my own? Yes

45: Where am I right now? - My room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - Most likely I'm not drunk, but IF I WAS, it would be my friend, my mom, or my sister (my sister would probs make fun of me and film me tho tbh)

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - Loud if I'm jamming with nothing else to do but sing along. If I'm trying to do something, I'll turn it down bc I can't focus with loud music (especially if I'm trying to write something/talk to someone/text someone)

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - My mom bc my dads dead

49: Am I excited for anything? - My sister and I are going to Banff in about three weeks so I'm excited for a getaway.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - No

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - I work in retail so

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - I don't know. I think I hugged my mom at some point this week lol

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - Bye bye babyyyy

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - my cat

55: What is something I disliked about today? - I had to go to work

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - Taylor Alison Swift baby

57: What do I think about most? - Probably Taylor Swift.

58: What’s my strangest talent? - I can make stomach gurgling noises with my mouth closed.

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - Nah, pretty generic ones

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Behind the camera

61: What was the last lie I told? - Some lady asked if a product was good and I said yes so I wouldn't have to help her find another one

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Neither what the hell

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - Neither

64: Do I believe in magic? - No

65: Do I believe in luck? - No

66: What's the weather like right now? - It's calm, but a little cloudy. It was really warm and sunny earlier, but it's gotten a little grey.

67: What was the last book I've read? - I just finished this series called The Winner's Curse by Marie Rutkoski and it was so good but so stressful omg. Still 5/5 stars.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - Yes

69: Do I have any nicknames? - Not really, but sometimes my coworkers call my Kayls

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? - Oh my god when I was like 10 I fell during grounders and the bar hit me right on the cooch. Most painful event of my entire life.

71: Do I spend money or save it? - Spend it bitch

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - No

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes!! my blanket!!

74: Favorite animal? - I love hippos and I don't know why.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - Reading on my phone to avoid sleeping so I could prolong not going to work

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - Devil. Kind of like Satan The Devil is his full name

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - Shake It Off

78: How can you win my heart? - Learning Taylor Swift's entire discography for my sake

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - tbh I really don't know

80: What is my favorite word? - Wonderstruck

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - n/a

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - stream fearless taylor's version

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - Healing

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - N/A

86: What is my current desktop picture? - it's a misty forest

87: Had sex? - no

88: Bought condoms? - no

89: Gotten pregnant? - no

90: Failed a class? - yes

91: Kissed a boy? - no

92: Kissed a girl? - no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - no but it's a dream

94: Had a job? - I've had two so far

95: Left the house without my wallet? - Yes, sometimes I do it on purpose so I can make my mom pay for something lmao (chill i'm talking something small like candy)

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - no

97: Had sex in public? - no

98: Played on a sports team? - no

99: Smoked weed? - no

100: Did drugs? - no

101: Smoked cigarettes? - no

102: Drank alcohol? - yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - no

104: Been overweight? - I feel overweight, but technically no

105: Been underweight? - No

106: Been to a wedding? - Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - Yes, but not since I was younger. I'm mostly on my phone now.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - Oh yeah lmao

109: Been outside my home country? - No

110: Gotten my heart broken? - Yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? - No

112: Broken a bone? - No

113: Cut myself? - Yes

114: Been to prom? - Sort of. I'm Canadian so I had grad.

115: Been in airplane? - No

116: Fly by helicopter? - No

117: What concerts have I been to? - Jonas Brothers when I was about 10 lmao and Marianas Trench when I was 15

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - No

119: Learned another language? - Tried to

120: Wore make up? - Yes. I do work at a makeup store.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - no

122: Had oral sex? - no

123: Dyed my hair? - not a funky color, no

124: Voted in a presidential election? - Sort of; I voted for a prime minister

125: Rode in an ambulance? - Yes

126: Had a surgery? - No

127: Met someone famous? - No

128: Stalked someone on a social network? - No

129: Peed outside? - No

130: Been fishing? - No

131: Helped with charity? - Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? - No bc I never fessed up to any crush lol

133: Broken a mirror? - No

134: What do I want for birthday? - A jewelry box

[shitandramblings]

Bank Hours

Summary: 2 weeks holiday with no work while your boyfriend is in town, but you can’t avoid going in anyway.

Genre: Romance, Smut, Short (?) Story, 

Characters: Taeyong x Fem Reader

Rating / Warning : Adult, Sex, Light Swearing

Word Count: 4222 (It was supposed to be short!)

A/N: First real fic I’ve written in many years. I have been missing fics with a story component and also some romance rather than hard smut. (not that I am opposed I just wanted this to be something a bit different) 

When you open your eyes the clock beside your bed says 5:00 am. The room is filled with the soft light that happens just after sunrise in summer. You can hear the birds just starting their morning song. Looking over at the man snoring softly on the other side of the bed you figure he’ll be down for at least another 6 hours. Taeyong looked absolutely beat the night before when you picked him up at the small airport in your town. He looks so peaceful and sweet with that little smile he often has on his face while sleeping. It’s hard to leave but you slide quietly out of the bed and head downstairs to get dressed. You have 2 weeks with your boyfriend and while you had both agreed no work you have a few things to finish off at the bank before you could fully start your holiday.

Getting dressed quickly in shorts and a tank you then slip on your flip flops. You write a note on the chalkboard you keep on the kitchen cupboard for notes and shopping lists, just in case he wakes while your gone. “Went to the grocery store for coffee and muffins, be back soon.” It’s only a little lie, you will pick some up on your way back from the branch after you’re done there.

When you get to work all the lights are off as they should be on a Saturday morning. You get your keys out and go in. It’s a familiar routine letting yourself into the branch, disarming the alarm and going to your office. You like the quiet of the branch when its closed and the fluorescents are off. The only light coming in is the little bit that makes it past the closed blinds in your office and through the back windows. You start your computer up and go to check the rest of the branch to make sure that no one is there that shouldn’t be.  On your way back upstairs after checking out the lunchroom and making a cup of tea, you stop to look out the back windows and their view of the Salish Sea. Your old office used to have this view but when you received the promotion to Branch Manager you had to move to the larger office on the street side at the front of the branch. You miss the view of the sun setting behind Vancouver Island during the summer, the ferries and cruise ships going past, and of the winter storms approaching from over the water.

 You finish your check and go back to your office to see if your computer is ready. While its finishing loading the last programs, you pull your speaker out of your bag. The other thing you like about being at work by yourself is that unless you are on the phone you can play your music as loud as you want. As the first song starts you get down to business. Time to tackle the few reports remaining so your Assistant Branch Manager doesn’t quit while your away. Since you’re planning on disappearing for 2 weeks the least you can do is make it as easy as you can for her.

 You get started checking the numbers for a major report due at the end of this quarter. You realize you’ve been fighting with the spreadsheet for 2 hours. You get up to go down to the staff room and refill your tea. As you come up the stairs one of your favorite songs is blasting from your office. You can’t help but sing and dance along not really paying attention to anything and nearly spilling hot tea on your hand. When you get into your office you put your tea down on the desk and finish the dance. But the spread sheet is not going to fill itself in and you still have a few tasks left to do before you head home. A short while later and your filling in the last numbers that were escaping you. As the song changes from Enter Sandman to Long Flight you can’t help but keep singing along. The music pauses for a second as the text notification comes over the speaker. You save your work happy that it’s done and look at your phone to see who could possibly be messaging you at 8am on a sunny Saturday morning. Its from Tae and only says

 “You’re not at the store.” Damn it, busted you think.

 “Why would you think that?” you answer.

 “The grocery stores don’t open until 9am here, your car is parked outside and anyone using the ATM can hear you singing my music.” After locking your computer, you leave your office to look out to the ATM lobby and sure enough there he is leaning against the front door wagging a finger at you. You open the door to let him in. After locking the door behind him he follows you back to your office. 

“I thought you said no working while we were together?” he asks you after flopping down on the couch in your office. He doesn’t sound annoyed at you, just exasperated and resigned.

 “I just have to finish a couple of reports I didn’t get done Friday night  before I picked you up and call a credit officer about a deal for one of my lenders. If we can get this deal done in time it will make sure the branch ends the quarter and most likely the year at the top of our market. But I need to impress upon the credit officer that time is of the essence.“ You explain to him as you sit back at your desk.

 “I’ll just sit here and watch you work then.” He says as he leans back on the couch. You look over at him knowing that he means to do just that. You get up and go over to him,

 “I think you should walk that pretty ass back home or I won’t get the half dozen pain au chocolat I was planning on grabbing at the bakery.” You say as you reach for his hands to try and pull him up. He easily pulls you onto his lap instead. 

“Well this is much more like I was thinking.” He smiles at you and kisses you deeply. You push him away after a bit and move to sit beside him while lightly punching his chest.

 “Tae I’m dealing with client and bank information here. You can’t be here while I’m working with this. That would be a huge privacy breach. And no office nookie! I need to be able to work here.” You tell him sternly as he starts trying to run his hands under your shirt.

 “So, what can I do to make sure you don’t find just one more task that needs doing if I’m not allowed to be here to keep you honest? I know you. You can always find just one more task that is absolutely critical and I’m going to be selfish. I want to spend this time with you.” He says while you keep slapping at his hands.

 “How about this? You can go sit in the staff room downstairs. There are still some pastries in a Tupperware from Fridays coffee, the tea drawer is full and we just refilled the nespresso selection. The couch is more comfortable there and the TV has Netflix. I promise I have one 30 min task and the call to the credit officer. I don’t think it will take much more to than an hour, hour and half.” You offer this compromise to him. He gives you one of those puppy faces that melts your heart, and damn it he knows he’s doing it.

 “Okay I’ll take an hour and half being bored in the basement of a bank but I’m setting a timer. In 90 minutes, your mine for the next 2 weeks.” He stands up and before you can get yourself up, he grabs your hands and pulls you into his arms. He’s kissing you and then nibbling on your ear, neck and jaw. You find yourself clinging tighter to him before returning the kiss and nipping at his lower lip. When you break apart, he starts to head out of your office, but then he turns back and says to you, “In 1.5 hours I get to finish that kiss.” You can only describe his tone as both promise and threat. And you can’t wait for it.

 You sit down at your computer and try to calm yourself. The merest touch from Tae has your juices flowing and he knew just what he was doing right now. How the hell are you supposed to argue with one of the pickiest credit officers in western Canada knowing that your boyfriend is just downstairs and apparently fully recovered from all the travel yesterday. You try not to think about just how hard he felt through the light shorts you are wearing when he pulled you into his lap.  About how good nibbling and nipping at his jaw and neck make you feel. Especially when he starts making those low groans and his breathing becomes all ragged. You take a moment to breathe a little before unlocking your computer and dragging a file out of the cabinet for the next task. Your ready to finish this and really start your holiday.

 A little less than 90 minutes later you have finished 2 pressing tasks and sent an email to your lender regarding her deal. You feel elated and accomplished as you log off your terminal and lock your cabinets. Not only did you finish what you needed to, but you got an extra one done that your Assistant Manager was not expecting you to do and you knew she was dreading. The email that you just sent to your lender was going to make her so happy when she read it on Monday. Not only did you get the exceptions that you needed for the deal, but you and the credit officer worked to get all the terms and conditions satisfied. The only thing left was signing with a lawyer and letting your colleague wrap up this deal. You gather your bag and put your speaker in it still playing softly and grab your empty teacup before heading downstairs. Tae would also be pleasantly surprised you got done before you said. As you round the corner to the staff room you don’t hear the TV as you expected. When you come through the door you look past the lunch table to the couch in the corner and smile. Tae is lying there on his left side with his hand under his head and his right hand tucked over his left shoulder. The fuzzy blanket that your staff keep here for cuddling under on cold winter days during their lunches because the heating sucks is tucked up under his chin. You smile at him sleeping soundly and quietly put your mug in the dishwasher.

 You hesitate for a moment over waking him or letting him sleep. Maybe he’s not as recovered from jet lag as he seemed earlier. While more comfortable than the couch in your office this one is too small for your lanky boyfriend to be comfortable on for very long. Putting your bag down in the table you crouch near his head. You put a hand on his shoulder and give him a kiss.

 “Wake up sleeping beauty.” You say to him while shaking him gently. You see him start to rouse. He peeks his eyes open and tries to stretch a bit. “I got all my work done, time for us to leave.”  He reaches out and pulls you into a kiss. This over balances you a bit and you fall forward. He sits up as you right yourself and draws you back in. Your hands automatically go around his neck and play with the hair at the nape of his neck. He helps you up onto the couch while never taking his soft lips off you. He slides his hands up your back under your tank top and chuckles while your kissing.

 “What’s so funny?” you ask him as you move to get his earlobe between your teeth. 

“I was right,” he answers you once you stop nibbling on his ear and he can focus again. “You’re not wearing a bra.” 

“Mmhm, didn’t want to wake you this morning rooting through my drawers for one. And you were supposed to be sleeping still when I got home.”

 “Oh, I’m not complaining, quite the opposite, I find it rather hot.” He says as he brings his hands around to cup both of your breasts and starts to rub your nipples with his thumbs. Now your really turned on yourself. You can feel it gathering in your hips and spreading out over your upper legs and your chest. You lean back against the arm of the couch as he trails kisses and nibbles down your throat and chest. As he’s trying to lift your tank top over your head you come back to yourself a little bit.

 “Um, Tae, I think I said no office nookie.” 

“But this isn’t your office.” He points out as you help him take your shirt off. 

“No, you’re right it isn’t but I do have to eat lunch down here everyday and so do my staff.”

But you’re not really concerned. The way his hard on is pressing into you and how wet you are there is no way either of you are leaving this bank until you’re both completely satisfied. And better here than in your office where someone might notice from the sidewalk or in your car, as you don’t think either of you would make the 5 min drive back home.

“Well I guess I can just sit on the other couch and try not to smile too hard at lunch time.” You tell him as you drag him up onto you and reach into his loose shorts. Besides your damn sure your assistant manager has had at least her last 2 boyfriends here and possibly in other places in your branch as well. As you move to cup his balls and cock, he moans loudly. He’s already very hard and starting to drip with precum. You slide his foreskin back to reveal his sensitive head. Using you thumb while gripping his dick you lightly spread the slickness over it. A shudder runs through him as he gives a little grunt. He starts rolling one nipple between the thumb and finger of one hand while his mouth licks and nips at the other. You momentarily have to stop your ministrations on his cock as this feels so good. That gives him a chance to get in your shorts. His fingers slide past you lips and his thumb finds your already engorged clit. Slow lazy circles of his thumb have you arching you’re back and making noises in your throat.

 “Mm so wet already. It’s like you missed me or something. Or does running a bank do this to you?” He asks while he slips one finger into your heat.

 “Definitely not the bank!” You answer back between gasps. You pull your hand out of his shorts and start grabbing at the hem of the T-shirt he’s wearing. 

“Take this damn thing off” you grunt at him “I want to feel your skin on mine.”  He needs to remove his hand from your shorts to accomplish this and you have a moment of regret for your request. As his thumb leaves your clit and he slowly removes the digit that was quite effectively fucking you the regret grows but then his shirt is off and he’s right there in front of you. Not to toned or too soft. His shorts riding low enough you can see the edge of hair peeking out.

 “Your turn to lie back.” You say to him as you gently push against his chest. One of your hands start circling one of his nipples and his breath starts hitching. He lays back for you as you move up over him. Your other hand catches his waistband and tugs his shorts down to his thighs. He looks down his chest at you as move higher up his legs and he leans his head back expectantly. You go right past his cock and start nibbling and sucking at his other nipple. You hear a sharp inhale as he opens one eye too look at you. 

“Guess I can still surprise you” you say as you lick his nipple lightly. You kiss your way up his chest to his throat. More nibbles and kisses there. Past his jaw with a few nips and now a soft moan right in his ear. He lets out another low moan when you do this, and his hips buck upwards. You drop the hand that was flicking his nipple to his dick as you move from his ear across his jaw to nip at that full lower lip. You can feel his cock twitching in your hand. With one last kiss that has you crushing your lips against his and sucking his tongue you suddenly move down to his cock and go down hard. He mages to gasp out “still surprising me” before he lapses back into incoherent mumbles, groans and gasps. You can feel just how wet you are. Your underwear sticking to yourself. Being able to do this to him gets you going so much. As you move up and down his shaft with hand and mouth you can feel him reaching for you. He always thinks he needs to give back what he’s getting right away.

 “Nope” you say to him saucily with his dick still in your mouth and slowly pumping the shaft. “You just lie back and enjoy. Don’t worry about me now, we’ll get to that later. This is for you.” You turn back to his cock as he decides to listen to what you said. You continue to slowly stroke him while you use your tongue to lick around the edge of his soft glistening head. As you lick you also stroke the frenulum underneath. That gets a grunt of approval. Quickly you wrap your lips around his length and start sucking with much enthusiasm. He puts one hand by his waist and the other goes to your shoulder. He knows your not a fan of having your head grabbed so he uses his hips and his grip on your shoulder to help you set the pace. When you feel him start to stiffen everywhere and he’s no longer leading you know he’s close. You slow it down and release his cock from your mouth with an audible pop and much drool. The hand that was stoking him moves down to fondle his balls before going past to rub his taint. You can feel how hard he is still even right to the root.

 “How do you always know when I’m at the brink but not so far gone that it hurts when you stop?” He says to once he can speak again. “How many times have you taken me there to just bring me back and do it again? God your so good. But now I think its my turn to return the favor.”

 “Please do.” you say to him. He moves so he’s kneeling on the floor and scoots your ass to the front of the couch. He then pulls you shorts and underwear off one leg. You lost your flip flops at some point, but they can’t have gone far. He nudges your thighs apart with kisses. You are more than happy to open wide to him. His breathe is very warm on your clit as he moves in to start sucking. You feel his tongue flicking over as he applies light pressure. You drop your head back and let him go. You can feel the heat starting to concentrate in your hips as everything else gets all tingly. 

 “Oh god you taste so good. And still so wet, I’ll have to let you suck dick more if it does this to you!” He says to you as he comes up for air. He keeps up the motion on your now very swollen and sensitive bud. You roll your hips into his motions. Your coming so close to the brink yourself but you think in the back of your mind that he must be feeling it bending down to reach you on the couch. 

“Gods Tae your so good but I need you now. I need to feel you in me when you go over.”

 After some rearranging you end up changing places once again but this time your riding him while he’s seated. You lower yourself fully onto his cock and both of you moan as you take him all the way.

 “Fast, slow, something in-between?” you ask him while rolling your hips and trying to find just the right spot on his pelvis to create the most friction on your clit.  He crushes his mouth to yours while grabbing your hips to set a quicker pace. Both of your hands roam all over each other as you ride him as fast as you can.

 “Almost, almost, fuck, now, nownownow.” He gasps in your ear as you feel him go ridged under you and then his load being released as he crosses over. You keep going chasing that same release and soon you feel your own center tighten completely and you go over as well. You move for a few more strokes to capture the last few waves that have you both shuddering.

 You collapse onto his chest and he wraps his arms around you. Both of you sit there for a few moments catching your breath and letting your heart rates settle a bit before you gingerly get up and grab a fresh tea towel from the package on the lunchroom counter. “I was wondering why the laundry service leaves us 50 tea towels for 2 weeks, when we have a dishwasher and a staff of 10.” You joke as you dampen one end and go back to clean him and yourself up. You both finish getting re dressed and you toss the used towel in the laundry bag. Good thing linen service is tomorrow you think to yourself.

There is not much space for a post coital cuddle as you usually do but then sex in a semi public place is also not something you usually do. He comes up behind you wraps you in hug while leaning his head down on your shoulder. 

“I love you so much. I hope you know that it’s not just the awesome sex, I do love you.” He says into your ear while squeezing you tighter. You turn around in his hug and wrap your arms around his waist while leaning your head on his chest.

 “Yeah I know. I love you too. And the mind-blowing sex doesn’t hurt either.” You laugh.

 You go up the stairs hand in hand laughing together. “I’m going to lock the door after you go into the ATM lobby then set the alarm and come meet you back at the door.” You say to him has you give him a kiss and push him out the door.

 “I’ll just wait here then. No more working.” He says to you as you lock the door behind him. As your crossing the branch while the alarm gives its arming beeps you hear Baby Don’t Stop comes on your speaker again. You smile and think at least this time you don’t have a cup of tea in your hand as you let yourself out and lock the door behind you.

 After getting into the car Tae turns to you when he realizes what song is coming out of your bag. “One of these days I’ll teach you the proper choreo for that one as I don’t remember a cup of hot tea being involved. And your pronunciation still sucks.” He teases you.

 “Shit you saw and heard that? How long were you standing there before you texted me?” You ask feeling slightly embarrassed.

 “Long enough but then you seemed to be concentrating on something important after your dance break. I couldn’t see much once you moved into your office because of the blinds. It was only about 10 minutes really.” He says back to you with a smile.

 You think about this. “Okay non apology accepted. And as for my shit pronunciation, you sing something in French and then we can talk.” You tease him right back.

 “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, çe soir?” He sings back to with a wink and to be honest pretty damn good pronunciation. You turn the car onto the road and head up the hill to the grocery store while laughing. 

“Not fair! That’s a 20 year old song with one line that everyone knows.” He just looks at you and smiles. This is going to be a good 2 weeks you think as you pull into the grocery store parking lot while you laugh and joke with each other.  

[loridrabbles]

Imprisoned | Dogma x Reader (Part 2)

 Morning broke, as indicated by the light just inside the cell which turned blue during the day. There was no way of knowing exactly what time it was until imates were let out for meals or a shower. (Y/n) sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes, noticing that the cell was empty and the barrier open. 

     This prison was different than others she's seen. It was made for people who should have lived honorable lives. Clones, admirals, politicians, Republic nobles, and other people of the sort. It was run differently, more efficiently. It was cleaned daily, cells had enclosed refreshers and padding on the beds, there were fewer guards than other prisons due to the nature of people held inside. Occasionally, however, some other scoundrel would wind up in here for a period of time if a more suitable prison was too full for another inmate, but those criminals never lasted more than a couple weeks. Imates were allowed to wander the prison, either in the mess hall where they could eat or hang out and talk with others or the yard where they could work out, go for a walk, or get some fresh air. 

     She'd never say she cared about him, but her first order of business was finding Dogma. Talking to others was uncomfortable. Some were hostile or just didn't give a shit, so she couldn't ask just anyone if they had seen him. Of course most of them would just give the smart ass answer of "a clone? Yeah they're everywhere. Every guard in here" then laugh with his friends.

     After intensely searching the mess and the yard and finding no sign of Dogma, (y/n) decided to return to the cell, in case she missed him when he headed back. As she navigated the halls, she heard grunting and sounds of punches being thrown echoing down the corridor. As nosy as she is, she had to check it out. 

     "Dogma!" She said, seeing two clone guards pinning him to the wall, one throwing punches and the other holding an electric stun rod. 

     "This doesn't concern you." The one holding the rod said.

     "Stop it what are you doing?" She ignored him. Dogma looked worse for wear. Bruises on his cheek and collar bone, blood dripping from his nose, a burn on his neck from the stun rod, and a sizable gash in his forehead.

     "Bring her back go the cell. I'll get back up and finish with this one." The other said, pausing between punches.

     "Stop it! Let me go!" (Y/n) screamed as the guard  took her into his arms, holding her tightly. She struggled to get away from him. He threw her to the ground and gave her a taste of electricity through her side before yanking her back to her feet by her arm and dragging her away. In no time, she found herself on the floor of her cell, still aching from the electric shock.

     Shortly after, Dogma was dragged to the cell, limp, held up by two guards on either side of him. They shoved him inside and he stumbled before landing on his knees. He stayed there as (y/n) watched from the bench. When the guards left, he got up with a sigh and slouched on the bench, turning his body to face away from her. She cautiously approached him. 

     "What happened?" She asked quietly.

     "Nothing." He said bluntly.

     "Nothing? Dogma, what happened?" 

     "I-" He sighed, ignoring the blood dripping from his nose. "I would have done the same thing. Regardless of right or wrong I would follow orders, follow the manual."

     "I- what? I don't understand." (Y/n) said.

     "The guards overheard me talking to some inmates about what happened. I was telling them about how Krell was a traitor to the republic. I guess they don't want that information getting around. Some sort of en elaborate coverup to hide any weaknesses from the separatists. Political propaganda is their newest Avenue to winning the war."

     "Oh." The two of you were silent for a minute.

     "Was I really like that?" He turned to face her. "Was I really that foolish. I'm exactly the type of clone Krell thought we all should be. Blind. Indoctrinated. Mindless." He said, pathetically. She didn't exactly know how to answer, but she had to say something.

     "I mean... You followed orders and protocol to a t, but it's not because you were built to be like that. It's just your personality. It makes you the opposite of what Krell thinks you are. You obey because you think it's your duty and honorable and you think it's right. Its something you choose."

     "I would always choose the wrong thing. I finally did was was right, the others told me it was the right thing to do, but I ended up here." He said. (Y/n) didn't know how to answer, so she stood and went to the refresher to grab some towels, one wet with water. 

     "Here." She handed him one to clean the blood from his nose and used the wet towel to blot the gash on his head. He flinched and pulled away.

     "Don't do that!" He said, sucking air through his teeth.

     "Stop. Let me clean it." She said holding his jaw with her other hand. Painfully, she patted away the drying blood around the wound. 

     "It doesn't look horrible, but there's a lot of blood. Hopefully it will scab up by tomorrow." She said giving him a dry towel, prompting him to hold it against the still bleeding laceration. 

     "Thanks." He said dryly. 

     "It's only around noon. Did you eat?"

     "Yeah."

     "Why don't you take a cold shower to help with those bruises."

     "Its not the bruises that hurt very bad. It's this damm burn on my neck. Its killing me." He said, tilting his neck so she could better see the mark.

     "Well, here's a cool cloth. I'll see if I can snag some ice water from the cafeteria." 

     She cleaned up the bloody rags they had been working with before. She cracked the faucet and rinsed her hands, rubbing her fingertips along the creases of her nails, freeing up the blood that had dried there. When it was gone, she fixed her hair after her squabble with the guard who dragged her back to the cell. By the time she left the refresher, the timer at the door had ticked down, opening the cell up again. She left to get herself something to eat, and hopefully a cup of ice water. Dogma watched her go, cracking a small smile as she dissapeared

    She made her way to the cafeteria and spotted a familiar face. Well, the face of a clone, but someone she knew.

     "Slick." She said, approaching him. He looked at her, a little puzzled, wondering what pm earth she could have done to be in the same position he was.

     "(Y/n). What are you doing here?"

     "Uhg. It's s a long story." She said. "But, now I'm beginning to understand why you took up that offer from Ventress."

     "Oh?" He asked cocking his eyebrow. "Walk with me." He said, walking away from her. She caught up to him and they walked side by side. "Where are you heading."

     "The cafeteria." She answered.

     "Then we'll take the long way. So, what happened?"

     "Well, we were fighting for the planet of Umbara when General Skywalker was ordered back to Coruscant by the chancellor. General Krell took his place."

     "Uhg. I've heard of him. Bad numbers."

      "Yeah well they got even worse. You should have heard the way he talked about clones and saw how he treated you guys. It was horrible. I didn't know in this day and age that someone could be so prejudice." She said, frustrated. "He tried to have Fives and Jesse executed for following orders given to them by Rex that he didn't approve of. Insteadje wanted a full forward assault that would've cost hundreds of lives."

     "Jeez."

     "That's not even the worst of it. He was also in charge of the 212th. He told both battalions that the enemy was stealing armor and disguising themselves as the other battalion and ordered them to fire on eachother. It was all a lie. They never disguised themselves."

     "He made them kill eachother?" He asked angrily.

     "Yeah. Rex arrested him and was going to execute him. Before he could, Dogma took Fives' pistol and did it himself. During his trial, I defended him, so that's why I'm here."

     "Oh Dogma's here too. Where is he?"

     "The cell. Guards beat the shit out of him for telling others what I just told you. I guess the Republic is covering up any weakness within it since the new tactic to winning the war is going political. The two of us are trying to tell many as we can so the truth gets back to a senator with a head on their shoulders."

     "Hmm." He hummed as they approached the cafeteria. "I'll keep it on the down low, but I could help spread the word too."

     "That'd help a lot. Thanks."

     "Now, get away from me before the guards see us."

     Some time later she returned, a paper cup filled with ice in hand. She got a clean cloth and folded it up, then filled it with ice to fashion a makeshift cold compress.

     "Here. Try that." She said handing it to her cellmate. 

     "Thanks." He took it and pressed it against his neck, breathing a sigh of relief as the itchy, burning pain dissipated. 

     "Hey, so I was thinking."

     "Oh no." He interrupted.

     "What?" She asked laughing a little.

     "Oh I just remember every time you used to say that, you would come up with a bad plan. Granted, most of them were successful, but bad plans nonetheless."

     "Hey! Ok...well this might be a bad plan, but if word got around that guards were beating inmates for telling the truth about this situation, how do you think it would be recieved? A lot of people in here are only in for a short period of time."

     "What do you mean?

    "The guards here are clones, right? They can't all disagree with the truth. It has to make them angry that you're in here."

     "And?"

     "And, when word gets around that they're being ordered to beat one of their own..."

     "They'd be enraged." Dogma said, finally understanding where she was going.

     "Exactly."

     "But where would that get us?'

     "I don't know. Maybe they'd rally to free you? I mean you have the opportunity for parole."

     "Do you think we should really do this?"

     "Uh yeah." (Y/n) answered excitedly.

     "It's bad plan." He said, matching her energy."

     "If it's anything like my other bad plans theres a 90% chance it'll work." They shared a laugh. When there laughed died down, (y/n) looked down, playing with the hem of her pinafore again. She looked up and met Dogma's gaze. They locked eyes for a minute and she swore she saw him smile. But not a normal smile, like a longing smile. 

     "Umm. Im... I'm gonna go grab a shower." She said awkwardly, continuing to fidget as she stood up. "I'll be back around lights out."

     "Ok." He said softly, a tone of voice she didn't know he had.

     The water poured down her back and shoulders as (y/n) closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against the wall of the shower. His longing gaze and smile confused her to no extent. It's all she could think about. She hoped he was just feeling that way because of how she took care of his injuries. Once they're healed, it'll be over with. She hoped.

[peaches-of-1]

📷 Photo Evidence 🍋

Jay Park x Female!Reader x G Dragon

Summary: You and your friend are invited to a pool party for Jay Park’s not yet released song and it’s not only the water that gets you wet.

You had put on your favorite bathingsuit today for the pool party concert you were invited to through some connections. They would be using it for filming but wanted it to be a genuine party. One of your best friends was a makeup artist, so she wanted to do your makeup for it.

“I have products that could withstand armageddon.” She said.

“I’m going swimming. I don’t need makeup to swim.”

Then she corrected you, “You’ll be swimming on camera, though. I won’t do anything crazy. At least let me give you a red lip or something. Please? It’s an AOMG party. You have to let me do your makeup. Glitter. C’mon, (Y/N). I’ve never bothered you this much about makeup before.”

“Prom?”

“It was prom, and it was just foundation, eyeliner, and gloss!”

You rolled your eyes, but she got on her knees and hugged your legs. There was no way you could reject her. She was a makeup artist. You’d look fine no matter what she did.

With a sigh, you said, “Ok, only a red lip and some liner. I don’t wanna do any foundation or anything too extreme.”

“BB Cream at least? Smooth the pores?”

“Tilly!”

She put her hands up, “Ok, lip and liner. Nothing more. I’m doing eye primer though to make sure it lasts.”

“Fair enough.”

After Matilda aka Tilly finished, you were glad she didn’t do more than she said. The lips were more pink than red, but at least it matched your bathing suit. It wasn’t too extreme considering how she usually styled you for celebrity events. You weren’t even a celeb. Not an idol. Not a model. Just you.

You threw on some denim shorts, a crop top, and some sandals you wouldn’t mind being affected by the pool chlorine. After borrowing a pair of Tilly’s glasses and making sure you had everything you needed in your tote bag, you and her left your apartment and hopped into a taxi. The drive wasn’t too long, and all expenses would be paid once you showed the valet your invite. You and Tilly listened to all of the songs that had come out by AOMG artists.

To be completely honest, rap and hip-hop weren’t your favorite genres, but you loved the artists more than their art. However, 90% of Jay Park’s stuff was a bop. Tatted head to toe. You wondered if there were any that you didn’t know about and where they were.

Tilly tapped your arm, “You good, sis?”

“Uh, yeah. Just thinking.”

“You think too much.” She scoffed. “What was it this time?”

Jay Park’s possible dick tat…“Nothing.” You replied. “Just a bit nervous, ya’know? What if something happens?”

She laughed, “Like what? Jay-oppa notices you and you get into the VIP area?”

“Oh my god! Even if I did, we would only be using our lips.”

“To suck dick!”

“To talk! To ask why I’m there in the first place.”

Tilly laughed, “You don’t have to be innocent with me, (Y/N). I’ve seen your computer.”

Your cheeks began to burn, “You what?”

“I was joking, but now I’m curious.”

“Don’t be.” You shoved her arm.

The pair of you began to wonder if you should’ve gone to a cafe first even though you had eaten at home. Not too much because you wanted it to all be down before getting in the pool and drinking some booze. Once at the party, you got the driver paid and he asked if you guys needed to be picked up afterwards. Tilly said she’d let him know and he drove off.

The shorter valet asked if you girls wanted to be entered in a raffle to get backstage passes. You both said yes cuz why not? Phone number and name. They’d text you if you won. Then off to the pool deck. Lots of people had shown up already and sat around the edge looking cute. Why the hell were there heels beside some sunbathers? Ugh. Like, it’s fine to be fashionable and whatnot or like to feel tall, but it’s a pool High heels weren’t the smartest idea for footwear.

Then again, Tilly was wearing peep toes behind you. You two parked your things besides two pool chairs that were next to each other and then walked around to check things out after discarding your tops to reveal the bathing suits underneath. You had talked her into wearing matching gold body chains the day before but now wondered if it made you stand out too much.

You looked out from behind your reflective monsters that a fan gave Tilly from Gentle Monster, but she had just bought the same pair in a different color. The fan sent one was her fave color, so she gave the ones she bought herself to you. So many young fans, no one over 35 in sight, or at least they had gotten enough work done that they didn’t seem their age.

“So, we gots a bar, an off limits lounge, food, and lots and lots of pool toys.” Tilly announced. “What do you wanna do first, (Y/N)?”

“Food.” You answered as if it was the obvious answer. Cuz it was.

Where the food was located, it was all Valentine’s Day themed. The video would be coming out that day as well. In a week. You were excited to see it mostly because of Jay Park and whoever his special guest was. Most of the internet said it was Mino from Winner or one of the rookie rappers that came out this year.

If it was being teased this much, it probably was someone more famous than a rookie. At least, that was your plan of thinking. You piled your plate up with fruits and all sorts of chocolates. There was a fountain, so you stuck a skewer through some mini soft pretzels and let the milk chocolate drizzle all over them.

“Someone’s got a sweet tooth.”

A voice made you jump as you pulled the skewer back. You set it on your plate and looked back to see Jay Park smiling at you. Where the fuck was Tilly?

“Yeah,” You said. “It’s a 24/7 thing. Never a thing as too many sweets.”

He laughed, “You got that right. Wanna do me a favor?”

“Depends what it is.”

Jay smiled, “I like a clever girl. Anyways, here.” He handed you a pink camera. “Take a few good shots for me? Just stick ‘em on any board you come across.”

You shrugged, “Sure, sounds like fun.” You grabbed the camera. “Can’t wait to see you perform later.”

“Well, I just hope you like it.”

“I probably will.” To say you couldn’t breathe would be an understatement.

The Jay Park was smiling and chilling right there in front of you. Someone called his name and he had to go prep or something. You exhaled and wanted to scream, but you were able to snap a pic of him walking away with one hand. He turned around, and you just smiled.

“You told me to get good shots.” How the f were you being so smooth?

He pointed at you and then continued on his way. Internal screaming intensified. You looked around and  noticed the other eyes watching. Tilly. You walked back to your seats and set your plate on the small table near it.

“Gorl,” She said.

“I know!”

Her eyes were wide with shock, “What the frick? He gave you a camera?”

“He wants me to get some good shots of the party. I don’t know what they’ll be used for, but I can’t believe he asked me directly.”

“What did you say to him?” She patted her knees in excitement.

So you told her about how you might have flirted on accident and she told you to secure the Jay shaped bag. As if you could! You decided it was just an artist to fan thing and did as told after eating your fill of chocolate covered salty bread. Most of them were taken of just the scenery and of Tilly. Some of them were taken together in cute poses.

After they were spat out all aesthetic and stuff, you went through and chose your favorites to put on the board. They were sectioned off into colors. Blue, mint, pink, white, red, and orange. You guessed it was just to make sure that’s how they made sure which pics came from where or whatever.

Then as the sun went down, an official looking person asked for the camera back. It was hard to take pics in the dark. Made sense. You danced to the music on one of the floating stages with Tilly’s hand on your hip. Some tipsy dude bro decided to dance behind her. She raised her brow, and you put your tongue in your cheek. Not her type.

The two of you jumped in the water and swam off to the next stage over.

You were now closest to the stage when the lights suddenly changed.

“Yo, waddup, waddup?” Jay showed up with a mic pressed to his lips.

Everyone cheered.

“How we feelin, tonight?”

Louder cheering.

He smiled, “That’s what I like to hear! Now I know y’all out here to hear my new song tonight, but we gonna sing some of your faves first.”

He launched into “Ain’t No Party Like an AOMG Party” and went straight into “Soju” the remix and all the other peeps he collabed with showed up to. Then your fave Jay Park song came on, and you screamed so loud that Tilly was shook. Then she laughed at you. This was your song! Your body moved to it as your mouth moved the words like it was a prayer you knew from birth. Then again, if this was prayer, you’d become a nun or a monk.

Some girls in hot pink bikinis and guys in their own bathing suits began to get into place and dance as a familiar song came one. It was the tattoo you had gotten on your hip. “Mommae” You and Tilly began to twerk to the song like every other girl at the party, even some guys to be real with you fam.

“Get it, Gold Chain!” You heard from the main stage.

Turning your head, you saw him pointing directly at you. At this point, you were loosened up enough not to care about everyone staring at you shaking your ass. So you turned around and twerked in a circle getting more cheers.

“Yeah, girl!” he laughed and copied you.

You laughed as well and onto Tilly’s shoulder. Once a new song came on, you didn’t know this one, like at all. It was a bop and a half. You danced with your bestie as he rapped and then another familiar voice was heard.

Then screams so loud that they’d break the sound barrier. G Dragon’s first public appearance since being discharged. He got a lot of the weight off, but that was the life of an idol. There was like half a love handle left and you loved it for sure. They sounded damn good together. Everyone cheered when it was over and didn’t mind the cameras and drones.

“Thank you!” G Dragon said and bowed.

Jay jumped on his back and screamed. They were such dorks. Then the two men went backstage and told everyone to have fun. You and Tilly went back to your seats to dry off and get some more drinks and food. It was greasy and carbfilled, so you hadn’t gotten too drunk yet. Maybe a little bit past tipsy.

You still had your own head and chilled on the side for a bit as other AOMG hits played. Tilly began gushing about how Jay had noticed you again. She loved coming to parties with you because of how different you seemed. Of course it was just cuz you loved a party whether there was booze or not. As long as there was music and room to dance, you were gonna have a good time.

Then you checked your phone and replied to some messages, took a selfie or six. Some Snapchat video. Insta too. Then you got a text from an unsaved number.

> Hey there, (Y/N). You win the backstage pass! Meet me by the Tiki Bar ASAP.

OMG are you serious?<

>Absolutely! Do you accept or should we choose another winner?

I’m on my way! <

“Tilly, I won the backstage pass!” You said as you pulled your shorts on. “Watch my stuff and don’t go home with any strangers unless you send me a pic of their face first.”

“I ain’t going home with anyone. Here.” She said as she handed you the lipstick she had used on you.

Just because you didn’t know what would happen and a part of you hoped your fantasies had part in it, you refreshed it and then stuck it in your pocket. You thanked her and then started walking to the meeting location.

Tilly then called after you. “Get sum dick, gurl!”

You shook your head with a smile and went to the Tiki Bar with your phone in your back pocket and praying no one knocked you into the water. Luckily, you made it to the bar as dry as possible. The woman checked your phone to make sure you were actually the winner. You also had to take a breathalyzer test.

“Good enough.” She said.

What did that mean? Then you were taken into the VIP area. Black lights and neon lights led you up the stairs.

There were three doors at the top of the stairs. One with a cloud, a pink heart, and a t-shirt. You were told to ender the cloud room, so you did.

You approached the bed and saw your pink camera there on pink fur. Well, it wasn’t yours, but it was the one that had been given to you earlier by--

“So, you won.”

“Holy fu--Jay!” You were thinking of punching him. “Stop sneaking up on me, holy crap!”

He laughed, “Sorry. But I’m glad it was you.”

You smiled and felt your cheeks blushing, “Thanks. Um, so what do we do? This seems more VIP than Backstage.”

The platinum blonde GD walked up to you two, “Depends. What do you wanna do? I mean, I have some ideas, but I wanna know if you’re up for it.”

“Tell what you have in mind and I’ll let you know.” You replied.

“You were right about her.” He smirked at Jay and picked up a camera. “First, some memorial pics.”

So the boys got some pictures of you and them being all cute in the neon scene. One of their managers took the photos when both of them wanted to be next to you. You were sitting on their laps when GD kissed your neck, and you made a noise. It was maybe a moan. More like a gasp. Jay just smirked and told the manager they’d take the rest of the pics. She set the camera down on a surface and left.

“What was...that?” You looked at him.

“My original idea.” He smirked at you.

Jay squeezed your hand, “Do you want to?”

You nodded, “Yeah, but I get to say no at any time.”

He smiled and then you looked over at G Dragon to see him grinning as well and then licking his lips as he surveyed your body.

“Of course.” Said Jay Park.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” G Dragon agreed and began kissing your neck once more.

You giggled and the other began to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you closer to his chest. Your eyes fluttered shut as he kissed your lips as if it were the last drop of water on Earth. Ring covered hands began to feel up your body through the bathing suit. Even though you felt G Dragon move from the bed, you were too preoccupied to give it any more thought. Jay’s hands rubbed up your thighs to the waist of your jean shorts.

He unbuttoned them with his lips still locked on yours and slid his hand down. You moaned into his kiss when you heard the click of a camera. Looking at the source, G Dragon had the pink camera in his hands once more...and his tank top was tucked into his pocket.

“What a beautiful shot.” He said as he grabbed the photo and fanned it to help it dry. “Very nice. You wanna see?”

You nodded and he showed you the sensual picture. Jay asked if he could keep it, and you said yes. He smiled and turned you around to straddle him as your lips met once more. Another click, but you ignored it this time as you got brave and took off Jay’s shirt to place pink kisses all over his neck and chest. This was all going to your head, but you’d let it just for tonight.

His hands grabbed at your breasts, and you could feel him smile as you returned to his lips. You tipped him over until his back was flat on the bed. He rolled over so that he was on top of you now. Another click, this time from Jay Park himself. You were already breathing hard and things had barely even started.

“God damn, Beautiful!”

He got off of you as G Dragon began to slide your shorts off. Click. Click. And tossed them to the side. You only saw wet blonde hair as his mouth tugged on the area of gold chain which rested on your bathing suit covered stomach. A moan escaped when you felt his fingers slide into your wet pussy.

Click.

“Oh fuck!”

“Who, me?” GD asked with a cocky grin.

He trailed his tongue all the way up the chain until it reached your neck. You’d be wearing turtlenecks until summer with all the attention he gave the space above your shoulders. Although you wanted to give a cocky response, his tongue was too good to even think about speaking. And the way he was grinding on you told you he wanted to use so much more to please you.

Your hands began to undo his belt and you gave breathy moans from underneath him.

“Take ‘em off.” You said and looked over at Jay. “You too.”

“Yes, ma’am.” GD said. “Eager, aren’t we?”

You bit your lip as their members sprang free. They had been ready for a while, it seemed, probably since pictures. You couldn’t help but lick your lips. Click. It wasn’t until now that you realized that the kiss marks you had left on him were glowing under the blacklights. GD’s lips had a slight glow to them as well.

A naughty part from inside you wondered what else you could get to glow as you beckoned Jay towards you. God, you just wanted his cock inside you. Wanted to taste it. So you did. You licked around the tip and grinned to yourself when you saw that there was a tattoo on his cock. It said “Handle with care”

You laughed, “Oh look, it comes with directions. Hopefully it’s not the only way it comes.”

Before he could reply, you loosened your jaw to take him in. Not spectacularly long but thick as hell. He cursed as you took him in. Click. He really wasn’t one to miss out on a photo opportunity.

“Look at me, Beautiful.” He said and took a photo when you did.

GD grabbed the straps of your bathingsuit, “Don’t want this getting dirty, so let’s get it off of you, huh?”

You let him strip you of the rest of you ‘clothing’ and noticed Jay shifting his attention to the man behind you. Click, and G Dragon chuckled. You couldn’t really look back, so you just trusted him to show you the picture once it came out of the camera, which he did. It was a photo of G Dragon opening a condom wrapper with his teeth.

Then click from behind you, “You’re so wet, Beautiful. You ready?” the blonde asked.

You nodded and he slid into your vag with much ease, letting out a lovely moan as he did. The trusts on both sides became more animalistic. Jay used both hands to keep your head still as he fucked your eager mouth. Your favorite part was that they weren’t afraid to let out their groans of pleasure and praise you every chance they got.

“Oh, god, (Y/N). You’re so. Ah! Good, (Y/N)!” the AOMG member crooned while the BigBang member left hot breath and steaming kisses down the spine of your back.

“Oh, your pussy clamps down on me when we say your name. You like us calling out your name, (Y/N)?”

You could only moan in reply. It did make your pussy tingle to hear two of the most handsome men on the planet say your name as if it were the name of a goddess. As Jay got more erratic with his thrusts, you could tell that he was close. The strings of curses got longer.

GD chuckled, “Close, old friend?”

“Yeah. Yeah. So, unf, close. (Y/N)~” He had his head thrown back, and you couldn’t help but whine at the way he moaned your name. “Close your eyes, Beautiful.”

You did as told and kept your mouth open as he rubbed himself in front of you, moaning and panting until you felt wet ropes of heat on your face. He was pleased with himself. Click. A souvenir of his work. It was soon after that G Dragon did the same, releasing into the condom and taking a moment before sliding out.

He tied it off and then the two boys switched. Jiyong kissed your cum covered lips and flipped you on your stomach, 69-ing you while Jay got himself ready again. Your legs began to shake as you came. GD kept them open as you moaned all over his cock and your eyes were shut tight as he kept lapping up your juices as you orgasmed.

When he took his cock out of your mouth, you were breathing so hard. You couldn’t recall the last time you came like that.

“Fuck.” You laughed.

“Speaking of which. We’re not done yet, (Y/N).”

You couldn’t help but smile at the wild sparkle in Jay’s eyes. You spread your legs wide enough and let himself get situated. He pulled you up into his lap so that he could kiss you while GD kissed your shoulders. Part of you told you not to be so loud, but it was being drowned out by your moans. The smells of sex and three orgasms filled your nose.

Tilly was right. The passing thought came to you. Your tongues tangled with the rapper in front of you as you gripped his shoulders tightly. The next orgasm was collecting rapidly in the pit of your stomach.

“Relax, beautiful.” Jay said. “We’ve got you.” He looked into your eyes.

You nodded, “Ok, Jay.”

That boy was tiny but knew how to work his mf’n hips! You screamed his name and GD’s as he played with your exposed breasts and nipples. You were gonna cum again, and Jay chuckled in your ear.

“Let’s do it together, yea?”

“Yeah.” You replied breathlessly.

It wasn’t even five minute later as you rested your head in the nape of neck and felt the wave of pleasure crash. Jay Park pushed your back on the bed and then slid out of you to let himself cum onto your heaving stomach and chest while GD came on your face. They laid next to you and told you to smile for the camera.

Click.

You didn’t know how long you had been gone until you saw Tilly backing dat azz up on a cute stranger. The three of you had had one more round in the shower as you got cleaned up. Your bestie quickly came towards you, drink in hand and obviously knowing what happened.

“I want details.” She smiled.

“You were right, but it was both of them.”

“Both of who?”

They had come out of the house and people cheered for them as they jumped into the pool with the remaining party guests. Mostly just AOMG members and the people they were planning to sleep with and their friends and a few managers who were off the clock. Also a few people passed out here and there. G Dragon called out to you.

“Yo, Gold Chains, join us!”

“Gorl.” Her eyes widened at you.

“Girl, I know!” You replied.

The two of you grabbed hands and ran and jumped into the pool together. You stayed until the threat of sunrise showed in the sky. The two of you were given gift bags and one of Jay’s drivers to take you both back home. You and Tilly couldn’t stop talking and fangirling as you told her everything. She was only shown a few of the pictures of you still clothed.

[entirebodyexercise]

The Art Of The Fartlek

Invigorate your training by differing between rapid as well as slow-moving running.

The word itself usually stimulates a chuckle, but a fartlek session is anything but a joke of a workout.

Fartlek is a Swedish word that implies "speed play," however virtually it suggests you're playing with rate by alternating in between faster as well as slower bouts of running throughout a workout. The length and also rate of the much faster "pick-ups," along with the slower recovery intervals, will certainly differ depending upon your training focus, yet the alternating between faster as well as slower runs in a non-stop run will certainly be comparable.

Fartlek training is a secure and efficient method to jump-start and also tweak your training after you've put in a couple of weeks of base training. Plus, rotating speeds during an exercise can be a great deal of fun as compared to running the very same pace for something like a common 45-minute run.

"One of the most crucial facet of a fartlek is that you never stop running," states Kevin McCarey, a San Diego-based running trainer. "This makes the fartlek a continual run and also even more like a race itself, instead of an interval exercise where you stop and also rest, which you would certainly never ever perform in a race."

McCarey has stressed the fartlek throughout structured, extreme phases of training while coaching a number of prominent endurance athletes, including Canadian runner/triathlete Carol Montgomery, Olympic triathlon silver medalist Michellie Jones, U.S. 50K document holder Josh Cox, and also a big team of UNITED STATE Olympic Trials qualifiers, consisting of 2003 marathon globe championship rival Tamara Lave, who ran a 2:37 Public Relations while functioning full-time as a lawyer.

While a fartlek can be done on any type of surface, McCarey chooses a huge lawn field, as it enables slower professional athletes to cut edges and effectively compete with the quicker professional athletes, pressing them to new heights in the process.

"I urge everyone to cheat, cheat, cheat," McCarey says. "That is just one of the very best components regarding doing fartleks on a huge yard area."

McCarey likewise requires his athletes to regroup after every interval, with the faster athletes running back in the direction of the slower professional athletes throughout the pause.

"This enables many individuals at various abilities to run together and also boost in a way that they never ever can if they were running on their own, or even with a group of runners that are much more their speed," says McCarey, that additionally likes that his athletes, regardless of their ability, obtain their heart rates elevated for the exact same duration of time.

Fartleks could likewise be implemented beforehand in a training phase, when an athlete is returning from a break or returning from injury.

"If someone is returning from an injury or time off, they're not visiting be in terrific form, and also it can hurt someone's self-confidence if they go to a track as well as do a workout at slower times than they would usually run," claims Michael McKeeman, a trainer at Run Mammoth Efficiency Mentoring and also a longtime training companion to American marathon document owner Deena Kastor.

To counter this ego strike, McKeeman will frequently have his athletes run fartleks over rolling hills or on a big lawn area.

"I'll utilize the setting to assist draw up just what the fartlek will certainly be," states McKeeman. "I could tell them to run hard on the uphills and also take it easy on the downhills. Or, if I recognize a professional athlete wants to run around a huge sports area, I may inform them to run hard on one side of the field and also unwind on the other."

McCarey likewise takes advantage of the setting throughout specific fartlek workouts. If it's ever before drizzling or gusty during a fartlek exercise, McCarey will have his professional athletes run 90-second periods with the wind, properly offering their bodies a speed boost and educating them how to effectively run at a pace they could not preserve without the aid of the wind. His athletes will then run back to the location they began the very first 90-second period, so that they can use the wind each time.

Like McCarey, McKeeman also uses fartlek exercises throughout more structured phases of training, with his athletes usually finishing one session a week. Both trains believe speed control during fartlek exercises is crucial, and also novices commonly run their fartleks as well hard.

"The majority of beginners do the rate phase of the fartlek also quick, which could require them to stroll during the exercise," McCarey claims. "But this is actually the contrary suggestion behind a fartlek. You ought to never ever, ever stroll."

Nevertheless, if a jogger makes a pacing blunder and also is decreased to a stroll, McKeeman claims to merely chalk it approximately a knowing encounter.

"People have the tendency to assume they're not running hard sufficient when they're not seeing divides," McKeeman states. "They run as well hard and afterwards they're trashed at the end of the fartlek, yet the vital part is they gain from this, so that when they remain in a race they'll have a better sensation for exactly how tough they should be going."

McCarey states that professional athletes who lack a solid running background should not do greater than 5 x 2-minutes difficult with 90 secs of simple running in between when very first beginning out. National class age-group joggers, on the various other hand, will do upwards of 3 x 10 minutes with 5 mins of very easy running in between. The rate must be one they could keep throughout the exercise, but the initiative will certainly obtain substantially harder as the exercise proceeds.

As a basic guideline, McCarey says that periods of 2 to 4 mins should be countered with 90 seconds of easy jogging, periods of 5 mins should be countered with 2 minutes of simple jogging, and also periods of 10 minutes ought to be responded to with 5 mins of easy jogging. McCarey suches as to finish every fartlek workout with 4 to 6 40-second strides over a tiny hill, with 1:20 of very easy jogging in between.

These strides-- short pickups carried out slightly faster compared to 5K race pace-- teach joggers to hold their type at the end of the race, and capital improves the athlete's general stamina and also assists produce a mini-core exercise.

Every four weeks approximately, McCarey likewise throws a timed mile to the end of his fartlek session, where all his runners line up at the start of a pre-measured mile and run the full range as fast as they can.

"This is where every person wants to go all out," McCarey states. "The mile is used as a measuring stick, to make sure that athletes can see if they are enhancing."

Practice fartleks by doing this, and you'll be seeing your following PR in no time at all.

Sample Fartlek Workouts

Do these workouts when every various other week for 2-8 weeks before an offered race.

Marathon Training: 5 x 5 mins at marathon race speed with 5 minutes of very easy running in between.

Half-Marathon Training: 8 x 3 minutes at half-marathon race speed with 3 minutes simple running in between.

Speed Builder:8-10 x 30 secs tough (around 10K race rate) with 2:30 mins very easy running in between.

Speed Endurance Generator: 5:00 -4:00 -3:00 -2:00 -1:00 pickups with half time recovery in between. Beginning at 5K rate and get progressively much faster with each pick-up.

Race Tune-Up: 2 x 4 minutes at 10K speed with 2 mins simple jogging in between, 2 x 3 minutes at 5K speed with 2 minutes running between, 2 x 2 mins much faster than 5K speed with 2 minutes easy jogging in between.