#i was like “i think this is romantic subtext but maybe im just reading into things”

[yourhighness6]

The last thing I expected to be doing when I started watching the 3rd season of the mandalorian was ship DinBo but here we are

[ham1lton]

omg i had a similar idea about how yn’s birthday would be what exposed lewisyn but i didn’t send it bc i didn’t think you’d like it 🫣🫣🫣 i was just thinking that he’d get her something REALLY nice and everyone’s like 🤨🤔 whose boss would get them this….(as a kpop girlie my headcanon was that he flies her to coachella to see blackpink vip LMAO but honestly your choice)

author’s note: LEWISYN LEWISYN *we all chant in unison*. this is a part of the dream girl universe but can be read as a stand alone! also i’m posting the oscaryn fic tomorrow! so keep an eye out for that :D

liked by bestie1, alexandrasaintmleux and 728,928 others.

yourusername: when your boss pays for an all inclusive holiday for you and your girls for your birthday, but you miss his dog so you force him to send you updates every day 😔

view all 47,982 comments

user1: happy bday girl but this isn’t normal 😭

-> user2: bye she’s so real for this because if i could get exclusive lewis hamilton selfies I WOULD 😭

user3: you posted a darry ring box on your story? who bought it for you?

-> yourusername: lewis! :)

-> user4: hey babe… that’s literally INSANE

-> user5: idgi? what’s a darry ring? why is it insane? it’s just jewellery 🤷🏾‍♀️

-> user4: you can only buy ONE darry ring per LIFETIME. they make you submit your id so you can never buy another. it’s meant to be for your soulmate 😭 and lewis bought one for his ASSISTANT 😭

-> user5: nah, they GOTTA be fucking.

-> user4: worse. they’re in love.

carmenmmundt: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET GIRL ♥️

-> yourusername: i can’t even believe it but thank you babe!!! mwah!! we’ll go out as soon as i come back!!! :D

-> user6: my fav wags :(( gonna miss yn when lewis goes to ferrari :((

bestie1: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BESTIE!!! SEXIEST GIRL EVER!!!!!!11!!!111

*liked by yourusername.*

user19: people talking about the darry ring like what about the HOLIDAY TO HER FAVOURITE PLACE??? like that is literally CRAZY???

-> user19: … you hiring? lewishamilton 👀

-> user21: fuck that, do you have an opening in your relationship? lewishamilton yourusername? 👀 bitch scooch over!! i want y’all 🤷🏻‍♀️

user20: what f1 driver wants to have a weird codependent relationship with a romantic subtext with me?

-> user21: i didn’t realise how much of a wattpad ass trope lewisyn is 😭 rich older famous hot boss and younger funny pretty employee who does whatever she wants while the boss is just fondly endeared.

-> user22: THAT SHOULD BE ME!!!!! 😔

-> user20: we can still do it oscarpiastri

-> oscarpiastri: no thank you! 🙂‍↔️

user28: yourusername are you and lewis dating be honest?

-> yourusername: NO 😭 i am definitely still single. lewis and i are just close friends that’s it!

-> user29: he said ‘happy birthday to my favourite girl, i want to spend all the rest of them with you’ in his post to you…. THATS A BOYFRIEND ASS QUOTE DONT LIE 😭

-> yourusername: that’s really normal??? like i’m sorry that you don’t have a decent relationship with your boss? 😭

user10: this whole bday thing is so funny cause why is yn trying to pass this as a normal employee and employer relationship 😭

-> user11: like you don’t see charles taking his assistant on romantic candlelit dinners do you 😭

-> user12: maybe if he does that, he’ll win a wdc. lewis does it, and he won eight, to ME!

user26: her insta stories are packed with all the gifts he bought her omg. someone tallied it all up and why did it amount to 2.7 million?!????

-> user27: IM SO JEALOUS

alexandrasaintmleux: next time brunch is on me ! 🥰 happy birthday honey 💕

-> yourusername: ily alex :(

-> user7: 1644 got the baddest bitches i know that’s right!

user13: lewisyn be normal challenge: FAILED!

-> user14: lewisyn be hopelessly in love with each other and co-parent lewis’ dog together challenge: COMPLETE!

user15: everyone talking about how weird it is that lewis spoils yn for her bday but why can’t we NORMALISE this?????? i want MY lazy ass boss to see shit like this and feel so ashamed that he books me on a cruise or some shit 😭

user17: LEWISYN CONFIRMED !!! WE CHEERED !!

-> user18: did you see his birthday post to her? babe it’s BEEN confirmed 😭

user24: im new to this. is yn lewis’ wag?

-> user25: no! she’s his assistant.

-> user24: don’t believe it. sorry.

user16: to everyone thinking this is weird, lewis’ team are like family to him. yn has been with him for almost a decade. like ofc he’s gonna reward loyalty? especially when she’s gotten offers from other celebs and brands. she could have pivoted to being an influencer but she likes working for lewis and it’s clearly mutual?

*liked by yourusername.*

landonorris: did you get my flowers?

-> yourusername: no?? :(

-> lewishamilton: roscoe ate them. my bad.

-> user8: MESSY ASS 😭 that dog did not eat those damn flowers.

-> user9: roscoe at home rn like … what he say fuck me for 🐶

-> yourusername: dw lando!! we’ll still have our weekly movie night when i come back!!

-> landonorris: :D

— dream girl taglist: @flowergirl1134 @laur20a23 @greantii @rafebun @sumlovesjude @papayadays

— all works taglist: @luvsforme @yelenasloverrrrr @donttouchthegnote @chelle1306 @bloodyymaryyy @aliciaablueprint @lennnooshh @km-23mr @stinkyjax @f1kenzzz @ctrlyomomma @theblueblub @lavisenri @marshmummy @23victoria @ourlifeforchaos @namgification @tallrock35 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @ariellovelynn @shhhchriss @lifeless-firefly @xylinasdiary @evie-119 @itseightbeats @tsireyasgf @landososcar @yongi-lee @maxlarens @velentine @m1892 (if you were on more than one of the taglists, i’ve only tagged you once! :) also if you’re on the solo lewis taglist, i’ll tag you in the mentions as tumblr limits mentions at 50 per post!! :( and if you’d like to join either taglist, fill out this form! make sure you read the explanatory box, fill the form out correctly and allow your account to be tagged or i can’t tag you!)

[ckret2]

i know you're reading the book rn, but i need to know is it true that bill has a redemption arc??? and that billford is canon??? I HAVENT GOTTEN MY COPY YET BUT IM SEEING OTHER PEOPLES COMMENTS AND POSTS ABOUT IT I NEED TO KNOW😭

As of the end of the book, Bill is in the process of being forced into a redemption arc. Please understand that I say that like "the airplane is in the process of being forced into a shoebox." It's not successful thus far and might never be successful from what the book presents. But the road is offered to him.

In my opinion, Bill & Ford's relationship is being written like a (mostly one-sided) romantic relationship (from Bill toward Ford), with multiple in-text parallels between how Bill talks about romance and how Bill interacts with Ford, and I believe the romantic coding is deliberate. I have not yet read something that explicitly verifies Romantic Emotions Are Happening and I don't expect to.

Like, we're at a point where Bill crushing on Ford has less textual support than Dipper crushing on Wendy, but more textual support than Tyler Cutebiker crushing on Manly Dan, and maybe even more textual support than whatever thing Dipper & Pacifica have going on.

It's left open-ended enough that you CAN go "Bill's just platonically obsessed with Ford and platonically trying to 'seduce' him and platonically heartbroken when Ford rejects their partnership after learning what Bill's up to." That is still an option. But this is some INCREDIBLY heavy romantic subtext.

At this point, "there's no romantic feelings on anybody's part here" is no longer the most default/neutral reading of Bill & Ford; it's gotta be, like, a choice. A choice that remains valid within the canon text, but still a choice.

So not "canon" as in "the word love is brought up between them" or "they were in a relationship," but "canon" as in "I believe wholeheartedly that the writer's intent was to make us think about a (toxic) romantic relationship when reading these scenes, whether or not such a relationship ever took place." The text doesn't quite go there, but it openly invites you to go there if you want.

I firmly believed the book wouldn't be any more billfordish than the show & J3 were—just some light, probably unintentional subtext. It completely blew past my expectations.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

okay some people genuinely really need to accept that the ONLY "queer coding" in saiki k is when they make gay jokes. there is NO other intentional queer coding, and i think people dont understand that claiming rep where it isnt there is much much more harmful than you think it is... just headcanon! its fun! you guys act like youre going to fucking die if you ship/hc something not canon, so you convince everyone that everything you say is canon ☠️ its literally insane

theres a HUGE difference between a headcanon or ship having what YOU see as canon backing, and a hc or ship that is actually implied or canon...

the only ship that you could argue is implied in saiki k is terusai, thats literally it, you could potentially make an argument that yumekai could be reciprocated towards the end, satoumiya, or MAYBE mikosai, but im pretty sure thats it...

nonbinary saiki is one of my personal favorite headcanons (one of the only ones i pretty much ALWAYS have in mind when talking or writing about him, it's practically a given) and i think it has pretty good canon backing, but its not ACTUALLY implied.

hes FAIRLY certain that his biological sex is male, and all evidence points to that, but he doesnt know and specifically says that he doesnt know what his true gender is... he clearly has absolutely zero discomfort with masculinity OR femininity, doesnt know or care about his gender, and is comfortable with either sex... he seems very happy to just be either...

seems like pretty solid evidence, but you also have to realize that there is literally zero chance that the author intended for saiki to be read as nonbinary, or trans in any way, this was literally just an excuse for plot and to have a reason to take advantage of his shapeshifting to do crossdressing/genderbend chapters ☠️ i love to see it as him being nonbinary and i think it has a lot of backing, but its not canon or even "implied" at all.

theres a lot of other examples of this kind of thing in this fandom, like theres a lot of people who claim that kubokai are queer coded (its usually just a joke when people say things like "hehe my ship is so canon" but im talking about like... people who see yumekai and go "um 🤨 this is LITERALLY homophobic because erm um kubokai are basically canon and queer coded and you shipping one of them with a WOMAN is HOMOPHOBIC" lmfao) and i am actually just not even sure where this comes from because they dont have anything that can even be twisted into romantic subtext, theyre just a popular ship because they have a good friendship. which is great! but theyre like the LAST thing i wouldve expected people to claim as implied or canon. they are absolutely not. the only thing i can even think of that might make people think that is saiki saying they look gay in that one chapter ☠️

[kindlespark]

this is gonna be SO long and rambly sorry anyway i saw a post abt how babel does queer characters and it got me thinking abt why the tropes it uses would usually turn me off other stories but didn’t here

MAJOR BABEL SPOILERS //

i feel like i’d be more mad abt how robinramy ended up in babel if it marketed itself as queer lit at all or if its fans were going “WOW AMAZING QUEER REP” abt it. but no one told me any of that, so finding out they were gay was just a fun little bonus surprise to me. i get why ppl are eh abt robinramy not getting together/technically still being subtext (which i dont think is really true btw like the book literally says “robin was falling in love” but idk i guess if you were stupid you might’ve assumed that it was falling in love with oxford given how romantic some of the other language is (WHICH IS ALSO THE POINT bc i think robin’s friendship with ramy blurring into romance is why he romanticised like all his friendships/experiences in oxford BUT IM GETTING OFF-TOPIC)). i just think robin’s repression abt being gay was intrinsically tied to his attitudes on imperialism (wrt refusing to acknowledge anything that complicated his life until it was too late) and i don’t consider it a cop out or queerbait. like i genuinely don’t think robinramy could ever have gotten together without drastic alterations being made in terms of plot and character. plus i think it’s clear that kuang didn’t want to write a story with any kind of focus on romance at all, because it’s not that kind of book. there’s no successful het romance either, so it grates a lot less. the only reason romance is included at all is to show the ways in which white entitlement manifests. so the tragic way robinramy played out just made sense to me.

and i speak as someone who accidentally spoiled myself on You Know What in the middle of reading and i was like ugghh boooo dreading it the whole time expecting to roll my eyes when it happened but then when it did i was like. wow im actually not that mad LMFAO 😭😭😭 actually thematically the book sets it up so well that i believed that this was unfortunately the only way it could’ve gone. babel is about the loss and tragedy and grief that colonised people experience. it’s about the lengths people will go to to uphold empire and the lengths ppl will go to to tear it down like idk 😭 i guess it is bury your gays but it didnt bother me this time because i thought it fit thematically ❤️ i enjoy tragedy as a genre a lot and i would’ve made it gay anyway you know. thanks rf kuang for doing it for me so i didnt have to.

WHICH IS ALL TO SAY that i guess if you’re going into babel for the queer rep without appreciating that the story is fundamentally a tragedy it would feel like it’s just reusing tired tropes….. but i think the choices kuang made were rly deliberate and not in a way that feels like trauma porn or shock value. the book is fundamentally about the struggles of poc so the layer of queerness that was introduced felt like a subtle extension of the experiences of characters of colour in the book, and i enjoyed and related to it as a queer chinese person who kind of realised they had to prioritise their fight for the liberation of poc over queerness mainly because the idea of western queer liberation cannot be dissociated from imperialism and many aspects of homophobia as we know it was an export of christian european empire into our colonised countries in the first place and FUCK THIS IS A WHOLE OTHER TANGENT ABOUT HOW I THINK RAMY AS A CHARACTER IS EMBLEMATIC OF THE TENSION AND STRUGGLE THAT QUEER POC DIASPORA HAVE BETWEEN OUR IDENTITIES GODDAMNIT OK FORGET IT POST CANCELLED i just rly think babel’s handling of queer characters is fine and makes sense and i like it personally and maybe i will make a coherent analysis about it one day but that day is not today byeeeeeee

[just-call-mefr1es]

cupioromantic titania

HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT-

so like, im sure its obvious that solarballs wants to make titanic (titan x titania) a canoj ship, deapite their like,, four one-on-one interactions. i have nothing ahainst the shippers, adtually, most titanic shippers ive met r really chill/cool people!! i jus think the ship felt forced,, not even a little. like, really forced. but hey, this isnt a titanic slander post, this is about titania

first off, cupioromantic people are people who desire a romatntic relationship, but dont feel any romantic attraction whatsoever. how does this fit with titania? cue her and titans first interaction. barely any romantic subtext aside from deimos’ inner wattpad demons. so now, lets say deimos’ words got into titania’s head, and suddenly she’s like ‘oh, relationship with titan?’ she doesn’t feel that much of a connection to him (because agian, BARELY ANY INTERACTION) but she does think ‘maybe i could get with him? i dont really like him like that but he does seem like a good partner and could probably help me out..’ sometime later (because i dont think she would have immediately jump to the relationship thought).

and then this continues! looking at the other moons of uranus’ actions, they seem really into titanic because thw wattpad demons are contagious, apparently. usijg the power of delusion, i think they (as in other uranus moons) kinda pressured titania into wanting to be with titan after the moon revolution. this probably made titania a lil pressured, and her previous thoughts from ewrlier about thinking ‘hey, he could be a good partner’ didnt make it any better.

so what does she do? she gives in.

girlie probably forced herself to think she has feelings for this dried olive (sorry titan i actually love you💔) so that she doesn’t have to overthink anymore because her mind’s alrady pretty full of thought. she makes herself think that she’s inlove with him so that the others could be pleased, when in reality, she only likes the thought of them together. i think that sometimes shed like a little help, and she thinks that titan can be that help, i guess.

lpng story shotrt, titania thinks a relationship will help her feel less pressured at times and therefore convinces herself that shes inlove with titna.

okay, im not sure if that explained my thoughts well😭😭 reading back i do not. think it did, so if u think it didnt, just take the hc and run lmao🤕🤕 this was a hc ive been thinking about ever since moon club first dropped and only had guts to share it on the day after canada day at two in the morning (no joke), so uh yeah. please dont yell at me😜

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Hi! A bit of a weird ask here, hope you don't mind. (I swear it's not meant in bad faith)

So, I'm new to the fandom. I'd wanted to watch the show for a while and I finally found time. I did like it, and all the characters, esp Hen and Buck.

Even previous to watching it, I had seen many posts about Buddie. I didn't think much of it until I watched the show. And now I can say... I don't see it. Like, from Buck's side? Sure. But from Eddie's? Not so much.

They both clearly act like Christopher's co-parents a lot, and that's where I'm like "oh, maybe there IS something". But outside of that, I actually see their interactions as mostly platonic. And when I see people talk about it, I see mostly about how Eddie completely trusts Buck with his son (which I agree with and makes a good point), but not much else.

So, what am I missing? Sometimes some characters are harder for me to "read", so I know there could be stuff that I'm missing. What interactions do you see from them that are so clearly romantic (at least more so than they are platonic)? In which ways do you see Eddie showing feelings for Buck?

Sorry about such a long ask. This might be more of a rant (oops). I just really want to understand, bc everyone's so sure... and I'm not. (Also, thanks for reading if you got this far)

So i’m obviously not going to tell you thst your interpretation is wrong- art is subjective and your interpretation of things is completely valid.

that being said, to me i see myself in eddie in a lot of ways:

- only son in the family, so i had unrealistic expectations fixed on me about what my life as a “man” should look like (im not a man, im nonbinary but i was still amab so to my parents i’ve always been a ‘man’)

- raised in a very religious household where there were certain expectations on who i would one day marry and have a family with (because not getting married at all and never having kids was out of the question)

- i was repressed for years emotionally (and sexually) due to pressure from my parents/church and thought there was something “wrong” with me for the feelings i felt

- i often revert to anger as my default defense mechanism because i have repressed my emotions for so long (which is something i am working through in therapy)

so seeing those things i relate to reflected in eddie, it is easy for me to pick up on subtext (whether intentional or not) when it comes to his sexuality/feelings for Buck.

you mentioned eddie trusting buck with christopher— to me this is one of the clearest examples of eddie’s true feelings for buck because he completely trusts the most precious thing in his life with Buck, but he has never even come close to that same kind of trust with any of his romantic partners… even shannon he was apprehensive about letting her back into chris’s life. this means he trusts buck on a level he has never trusted anyone else before— and not to get into psychology, but often when people are repressed emotionally, they find ways to feed those feelings without overtly feeding them if that makes sense. so eddie giving chris (who is practically his whole heart) to buck is essentially eddie offering up his heart on a platter.

so that gets that one out of the way.

as for other examples… i am going to state again that eddie is more repressed than buck and doesn’t show emotion as easily as buck does so Buck’s attraction/feelings are going to be more clear-cut and obvious.

but i am constantly seeing examples of eddie’s feelings for buck interwoven subtly through things:

- crying over buck after the lightning strike when we had only ever seen him cry twice before

- the hurt in his face when buck said natalia was the only person who “saw” him

- the way that he gets overly jealous and acts petty around buck’s romantic partners (the most egregious being Taylor, but we have seen it happen in his other relationships as well)

- the fact that he has never been able to fully allow himself to have feelings for the women he’s dated

- he is looking for a mother figure (second parental unit for chris) but has already effectively filled that role with buck

- he is constantly looking at buck like he hung the stars and the sun and the moon

- he has only started going off the deep end of this fixation with shannon after buck came out to him, and he is onyl actively remembering their relationship as what he wished it had been rather than what it was— something i used to do back when i was still in denial about my sexuality was imagining this dream life where i was happily married to a woman because that is what i was supposed to want, not because it’s what i actually wanted

- eddie is the only one who has shown he understands buck’s recklessness is less him being reckless/thinking he’s unbreakable, but that it’s actually buck seeing himself as invaluable enough that getting hurt wouldn’t affect anyone around him

- one of my favorite scenes is post lightning-strike when eddie climbed the ladder and instead of trying to lower buck to the ground immediately, he initially tries to pull buck closer to him while screaming for him

the list could go on and on and if anyone else wants to leave their observations on eddie’s feelings for buck in the replies by all means please do! but these are just a few ways in which i have personally seen eddie’s devotion to buck portrayed in a light that is much deeper than a platonic level.

i hope this made sense and offers a new perspective for you, and i’m glad that even though you haven’t seen enough evidence in your own interpretation, your first instinct isn’t to jump down people’s throats to tell them they are wrong, but instead reaching out and asking for other opinions to better contextualize why us buddie shippers are so invested in these two!

(and never apologize for a long ask to me… if there’s one thing about me i love to yap lmao)

i hope you have a lovely day, anon!! 💕💕

[angstics]

nonsense deadpool & wolverine rant

ive been talking about deadpool 3 for days over on twitter -- which is a lot for a movie i was meh about and will forget in 2 weeks (like i have all other deadpool films). BUT i like thinking about how gay ppl & themes are treated in popular film and this is probably going to be the biggest "gay themed" film this year ... which is sad considering this is the year of 2 luca guadagnino films and monkey man and tv glow et al. anyhow. this was a big hit in fandom -- which should not be a surprise considering the mcu and comics fandoms. the "this was sooooo gay" response has been irritating, and so has the counter-argument. the text may not be a gay text but it DOES use gay elements in its text. like Obviously so. to the point that it's hard to discern whether it's appropriation or meaningful, a homophobic joke or somewhat earnest... and why???

part of it will always be the comic characterization of deadpool as a hypersexual pansexual freak who sexually harasses men because that has been deemed highlarious. there's at least one joke recycled (about being tied up together and getting an erection), replacing spiderman in the comics with wolverine in the movie. i can easily see straight men playing these jokes with each other -- i probably have on youtube. this is what makes the "you cant deny this is gay" thing fandom people say sooooooooooooooooooo annoying -- HOMOSEXUAL encounters are not limited to people with THE GAY GENE. straight men sexually harass their friends ("friends") all the time. allllll the time. what makes someone (and a relationship) gay is intention and affection and desire and identity and cultural place -- and a billion other things. there are many movies about two men (and less about two women) who everyone sees as super gay... defiant ones (1958) comes to mind since i recently was reminded of it. heat 1995, thelma & louise 1991. dead poets society 1989 also comes to mind. but no one Serious is claiming this is the dominant (as in "common") reading or INTENDED meaning -- no one is saying these are gay characters in gay relationships. they arent like fried green tomatoes 1991 or midnight cowboy 1969 or rebel without a cause 1955, where it was verifiably gay in some way.

there's a phenomena where a character / relationship (probably) wasnt supposed to be gay, but it came off that way UNDENIABLY because they borrowed too much from gay experiences -- like scream 1992, or very commonly in terms of trans experiences: psycho 1960, silence of the lambs 1991, synecdoche new york 2008. and fraiser lol. Every movie is different and has a different way of doing things which result in different suggestions and conclusions and interpretations and impacts. Big surprise.

deadpool 3 obscures these boundaries in this new pseudo-progressive age. but it is still inaccurate to pretend it was "gay coding" -- as in they were hiding a gay story via Big Subtext and using a straight story to sell a gay movie (which i have seen suggested the use of DP's ex). i cant fucking believe we're still doing destiel conspiracies. im sure stucky had a similar reaction this deadpool ship has (and the spideypool ship), but i think it is understood that Steve Whatshisname wasnt and would never be gay (Bucky could be, he has time).

the misunderstanding comes in the blurring. it's like in the middle of a political compass. ok fine i made one

some moments obviously meant to evoke a gay spirit: bar scene, car scene, madonna scene, "introducing the boyfriend" scene, the Appreciation of the Male Body & Fighting as Fucking theme (note that DP's lesbians were just standing there in 2 scenes?)

Deadpool (and Wolverine) really are pan: an alternate Wolverine is in love w the Mythic Hercules in a comic series (and maybe Cyclops? Subtextually? Throupley?). deadpool is well known in comics, but he does off-hand talk about having non-vaginal sex (? or masturbating?) in this movie

what is romantic is defined by DP's LI: the movie cant hide behind everything being a joke when it has a guiding emotional core consisting of DP's lost (female) love, who he can express affection and attraction to in both serious and comedic contexts

No honest romantic or sexual tension: i have seen movies with subtextual / coded tension and this doesnt have it. it's no popped champagne bottle, or face caressed in blood. there is also no story. i havent mentioned this yet but this movie has a really lackluster story between dp & wolverine that doesnt allow for much interpretation even in a platonic or narrative sense

all these things are true at once, and ignoring one aspect for another doesnt make sense of the film (and characters and audience reaction) as a whole. at the end of the day............. it doesnt matter........ i only really care about being accurate and respecting film history & gay history & continuing to call for gay gay gay stories in popular film. dp3 made a lot of gay jokes that were genuinely unexpected, so it isnt LE FOU 2. but it isnt the end of the line. this was a good thread that described the split well

[quillkiller]

do youuuuu…… can youuuuu…………. speak about rhaenicent…..??? pretty please <3333

oh god. you have no idea what you’ve asked for. they make me absolutely sick in the head. sick to my stomach. like im close to hyperventilating whenever a new episode drops…

like obviously im a rhaenicent girlie down to the bone but honestly ?? i genuinely see them as the unrequited trope. alicent being my repressed lesbian princess angel who’s in love with her childhood best friend who’s just so painfully heterosexual. yes, sadly rhaenyra gives me heterosexual vibes…:/ (however lets talk about the tension between rhaenyra and mysaria in the last episode.. i was going insane jumping up and down. so now i have to reevalute if rhaenyra is actually heterosexual to me or if she’s just not. in love. with alicent. violently throwing up at the thought like imagine you’re in unrequited in love with your childhood best friend but shes straight so whatever what can you do <- what she does is slut shame out of pure jealousy<3. but then shes NOT straight and she STILL doesn’t want you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lets all kill ourselves.)

something i also think about a lot is the scene in season one where alicient grabs the knife and attacks rhaenyra and yells ”WHERE IS DUTY, WHERE IS SACRIFICE? IT’S TRAMPLED UNDER YOUR PRETTY FOOT AGAIN,” <- pretty being keyword. alicent didn’t have to call her pretty but it slips out and they haven’t touched physically in years and there’s so much yearning and desire and resentment and hatred between them and alicent still calls her pretty. and maybe it’s supposed to be in a condescending way, it’s up to anyone to make their own reading of that, but to me it didn’t sound or land as an insult at all. it sounded impulsive and desperate and as if it just slipped out after alicent touched her again for the first time in years. just so much pent up internalized desire and resentment for her childhood companion :/ it also makes me think of the quote ’i confuse instinct for desire— isn’t bite also touch?’ by natalie diaz. makes me absolutely sick in the head

i genuinely, personally, can’t see alicent as anything other than a deeply repressed lesbian and like it doesn’t matter to me that she’s sleeping with crispy cole. to be honest it only helps my argument…. like rhaenyra lost her virginity to him and alicent is sleeping with him in the same sleeping quarters whete rhaenyra slept with him ??? thats genuinely SO interesting to me. i think both alicent and crispy are so deeply obsessed with rhaenyra and are projecting that onto each other. like rhaenyra will always be present whenever they’re together there’s just no way around that. i’d argue that they’re only attracted to each other because of rhaenyra. i had an argument about this a few weeks ago where someone said they dont think alicent is in love with rhaenyra / thinks shes in love with cole / thinks she loved viserys. like. alicent has genuinely only ever loved one single person (except her children but that’s different) and she only ever had one single meaningful relationship and that was with rhaenyra. like bruh be serious… how do you witness alicent having one single meaningful relationship throughout the series and go ’i actually think she loved viserys’. the homoerotic context is right there. but yeah heterosexual people couldnt pick up on queer subtext even if it hit them right in the face

however. i will say. i wouldve actually liked to see alicent sleeping with women/taking a woman as a lover this season and was sort of hoping for it :/ i would’ve liked it confirmed…. but yeah that’s wishful thinking and i doubt that’s going to happen :/ and besides. with how alicent actively denies herself pleasure i don’t think she ever would

anyway. i hate to say it. but i don’t think rhaenyra is in love with alicent. i know a lot of people think she is/read into it as if she is and like this is just me talking about how i personally see them. rhaenyra, to me, doesn’t read as having romantic feelings for alicent and it KILLS ME !!!!!!!!! because i WANT HER TO!!!!!!!! and it hurts SO MUCH !!!!!!!! and i WANT THEM TO KISS!!!!!!!!!!! but yeah. absolutely miserable. there’s just this, to me, disconnect between rhaenyra and her feelings for alicent. it doesn’t pain her in the same way it pains alicent. alicent genuinely can’t think clearly because of her attachment to rhaenyra, whereas rhaenyra can and always could. the codependancy was one-sided <- im going to Throw Up

that’s not to say rhaenyra didn’t love alicent, and maybe she still does. i absolutely think she holds love for alicent and deeply misses her…. i just don’t necessarily see it as romantic from her pov. :(

anyway. this is my phone bg:

[olderthannetfic]

The “noncanonical pairings are usually wish fulfillment” thing is so bonkers because there’s so much variety in terms of what is “non canon.” By the strictest definitions of canon, something like Anthy/Utena isn’t “canon” in the original anime series because they never explicitly say they’re romantic lesbian lovers or kiss (except in the ending theme, which people often don’t count), even though the entire fucking show is about that relationship and it makes significantly less sense if you interpret them in a platonic way. Same with something like Yuuri and Victor in Yuri on Ice. Most people would call those “canon” (I would with both) but I’ve seen people fight over it because it’s not “explicit enough.” A lot of people who are used to really didactic storytelling — which, lbh, is clearly a lot of people in fandom spaces based on the discourse that gets started here — don’t really know what to make of works like Revolutionary Girl Utena that rely a lot on symbolism and allusion, and in expecting their audience to do the work to meet them where they are rather than getting down to where the dumbest possible viewer is.

Then, on the next level, you get relationships that were built up to in some way, but then the writers later decided to take it another direction. You get ones that got a lot of subtext, but they were a same-sex relationship or an interracial relationship or something else taboo in a time before that was permissible in mainstream media of that kind. You get ones where it was the actors interpreting it that way, but not the writers; or the writers, but not the directors; or the directors and script, but the actor didn’t play it that way. (A good example of both of the last two examples: Garak/Bashir from Star Trek Deep Space Nine, whose actors have both admitted to playing them that way and supporting the ship, and where the creators have basically said they saw that there was something there but knew they wouldn’t be able to get away with that on a Star Trek show then.)

On the next level down, you might get something where it fits into a well-established romantic trope but the creator somehow has no idea of but the fans pick up on it — for instance, maybe they would only see it as romantic if it were between a man and a woman, but this is two women, and they don’t recognize how it’s going to look different to someone who is less heteronormative in their thinking. Maybe the creator just has such a strong bias against some particular combo of characters that they don’t want to acknowledge what they wrote by accident. (Like how J.K. Rowling was so mad that so many of her readers liked Draco Malfoy even though it’s pretty obvious to anyone else what’s so appealing about how she wrote that character, but for relationships rather than individual characters.)

And then of course, you do get some ships that are just completely out of left field, someone projecting a particular dynamic really hard that they wish was there on some characters that don’t have that kind of chemistry at all to anyone else watching/reading/etc. One of my fandoms had a really vocal group get really into a ship like that recently (because the person who started it framed it as “progressive” and herself as a bit of a BNF so a lot of younger discourse-addled people went along with it who also thought the more popular main ship was “problematic”) and it was annoying because they were so self-aggrandizing about how there was all this hidden subtext that no one but them was seeing because we were all less social justice enlightened than them or something. When it was really just that those characters didn’t have that dynamic at all, but they THOUGHT they should. There was a lot of hilarious misinterpretation of scenes that were in context, not remotely shippy, but one character was touching the other one very slightly or something.

But IME, those kinds of ships getting any kind of substantial following is rare. Most fairly popular ships that are non-canon, including pretty much every non-canon juggernaut ship I’ve ever seen (going back to DS9, Garashir is like 45% of the DS9 fanfic on AO3 last time I checked, so it’s definitely a juggernaut ship), there is at least SOMETHING there that comes from the original work. Even if it’s just “these two guys have the kind of buddy-cop dynamic that slash shippers often like to envision in romantic ways,” “this guy and this girl are the kind of lifelong childhood friends that we’re used to being romantic in anime like this so a lot of people started shipping them immediately,” “these two girls have the kind of Fuffy/Catradora/etc. friends-to-enemies-to-friends-again-to-lovers dynamic that makes a lot of femslashers lose their minds,” etc. Even with those three examples, while it may not be *intentional* on the part of the creator, it’s bizarre to say those people are “projecting” when they’re responding to those couples fitting into longstanding media trends that a lot of people identify. “Projection” to me is something like the earlier example I gave of the obnoxious people in my one fandom, where they are just determined to make some square peg fit a round hole because they’re desperate to have everything be round. And again, I don’t think that’s nearly as common as a lot of people, and especially salty het shippers who want to demonize the popularity of M/M or F/F in their fandoms, seem to think it is. (Also, like het-only shippers aren’t the ultimate in seeing romantic dynamics with every time a man and a woman are close at all, and throwing a fit when it doesn’t happen in canon, lol)

(I also think some of these people confuse the “projection” for people who are more dedicated rarepair shippers, where the motivation is often more “okay this might not be here but WHAT IF” than sincerely thinking the work is actually doing something that it isn’t really doing. Again, I’ve met people who are into rarepairs who just seem to have a really bad lack of understanding for what “subtext” is and confusing anything they wish was there with “subtext,” but I think those people are a rarity. For a lot of people who like rarepairs, the fact that it’s not at all what canon is suggesting is something they are aware of and that is The Point. It’s “I know the work doesn’t actually suggest this, but how can I change it so that it does”)

--

In my experience, that particular flavor of oldschool homophobe invariably ships tons of het that is not actually canon.

They just don't like it when 1. anything that's not their favorite gets popular and 2. people think a character could be queer without it being literally stated in the first episode/page.

[hxhhasmysoul]

Im pretty sure that killua took gon saying ‘lets stay together’ on whale island as a agreement to commit shinju,because shinju is dying together so you can be together in the afterlife or in the next life,so does that mean that killua didnt want to die with gon out of his non platonic love for him but just because of that agreement,and it wasnt romantic??

Well, in Japanese "staying together forever" is a pretty romantic kind of declaration, even more than in a language like English. And in English it already is a more romantic kind of sentiment than a platonic one.

I mean it's not impossible for people to have a platonic relationship and tell each other such stuff. Of course I have no statistics on something like that, but I would imagine it's much more often expressed in a romantic context.

The way that Gon and Killua speak about/to each other has a lot of romantic subtext. Even if you don't know Japanese, these things sound pretty intense in English too.

I don't know that much about shinjuu, maybe it's formalised, but I personally don't think there has to be an agreement of both parties to a lovers' suicide. At least in the most classical western example of "Romeo and Juliette" there wasn't any such agreement. My biggest exposure to classical Japanese literature was to Heian nikki, I haven't really read that much of the later stuff, and I think shinjuu as a theme was popularised later. Still, I don't think that shinjuu is the same as a suicide pact, just for loved ones. But I might be wrong.

The word shinjuu in itself is very dramatic. 心中 means literally something like "through the heart", so whether romantic or not, the act seems to be very emotionally loaded, not just some agreement.

To me Killua's actions read more as him not wanting to live without Gon, so if Gon has entered a path to suicide, Killua wants to follow. Maybe so they can stay together forever, even in the next life? That dying together would make it easier for them to meet in the next life?

If anything, the shinjuu would be Killua defying Gon openly. When they were capture by Nobunaga, Gon openly tells Killua that only Gon's allowed to be suicidal.

If you prefer to think of the relationship between Gon and Killua as platonic, then you should. Togashi uses very romantically loaded language between them and for instance the anime creators have been outspoken about noticing that, but there has been no official statement of Togashi's that "yes, they are definitely in love with each other". So you can interpret it however makes HxH more fun for you.

[menlove]

Ugh sorry I know you talked about it briefly not long ago, but I have to yap

Bc of july 6th there's been an influx of tiktoks celebrating p&j's meeting and friendship but many creators i've seen had to give disclaimers and captions saying that they "don't ship them!!" bc under each and every one of these videos there were comments like "let's not🫤" "they were friends..." "how can you ship them"

Like, maybe im just hella unlucky (I hope so tbh) but the amount of these kids thinking that by reading queer subtext (AND text) and understanding that what was going on between john and paul was something more that friendship, you're ultimately a disrespectful conspiracy theorist, racist & mysogynist (bc you obv must hate their wives) is absurd

I think I really need to work on changing my algorhythm

Sorry for negativity

NEVER BEEN SO GLAD IN MY LIFE TO BE FAR AWAY FROM BEATLES TIKTOK THATS CRAZY i

I hate people so much genuinely like this actually really genuinely pisses me off and I rant abt this to millie like at least bimonthly. bc the thing about it all is if these exact same events took place between a man and a woman there would be ZERO doubt. ZERO. that they were romantically and/or sexually involved. like it would just be an accepted part of rock history. but bc it's two same gendered people oh jesus christ we have to throw a FIT when people point out the incredibly obvious

like I'm sorry but honestly to me at this point it's just bordering on homophobic. that's not to say you Have to believe they fucked or were in love but to Insist that they weren't when they so blatantly had shit going on........ get so serious Immediately

and even taking paul out of it people insisting john is straight when he talked abt his attraction to men on numerous occasions is just so crazy. like the bi/homophobia of that is genuinely disrespectful

and the "they had wives" thing makes me insane btw like yeah so do many bisexuals and closeted men what is your point 😭 you've never heard of two men married to women having an affair? that sounds like you need to talk to more people and listen to more queer men's stories from the past jfc

[anthonycrowley]

same anon w the braime fic - IM SO GLAD i also did the classic tv show > ao3 > actual asoiaf source text order of consumption lol i wasn’t sure if you were abstaining from fic till u read the books or smth idk but anyway. if u did a fic rec i would totally eat that up

braime dynamic is so far up my street u are so right about horny subtext + slow reveal emotional vulnerability, plus a side of enemies to lovers or like. prisoner/captor to reluctant allies to lovers. man i haven’t thought about them in so long… are there any other pairings in the show/books that u enjoy?

naaaah fuck that noise, no offense but i needed to be in the right mindset to read multiple thousand plus page books and i like fanfic. sorry. i guess. i’m here now. anyway.

i could talk about them but. god. clenches fist. i’ll go insane. and people will stop listening to my commentary. i think you got it except metatextually they are destiel. like what happened to destiel happened to them. two nickels. absolutely bonkers.

aaaaaand as far as other pairings. hm. i think largely i tend to gravitate towards character’s plotlines rather than ships - i find arya fascinating but not don’t really care all that much about gendarya, although i don’t mind it. - braime being the exception. or if i do find pairings interesting they’re usually more because of platonic reasons more than romantic. if i had to pick. hm. and before i say these we are going to remember this is the problematic ship book and i am not necessarily saying they are morally good just very fun to explore. jokes aside stavos has some hilson energy going on. what do you want from me. i think samgilly is cute (this is helped because sam is one of my faves). is it weird if i say robbjeyne is cute. jaimecersei i actually do enjoy in a these two are toxically codependent in a fun way and i wish people could explore it in a way that’s not incredibly black and white because there’s A Lot there. sansatyrion but i think that one might get me shot (and once she’s older preferably). robbtheon i get the appeal of and makes me insane to think about but i don’t like read fic for them. sansamargaery because sansa deserves nice things and i think they’d be good for each other. my hottest take i think is that jon and sam should explore each other’s bodies and i do feel this wholeheartedly and unironically. that’s all i can think of off the top of my head there’s so many fucking characters in this book. why are most of my ships straight. feels wrong. or maybe that’s just what happens when the female characters are good. idk.

[kekkuda]

god its tough bein the local ludwigposter, like i already had a lot of frustration w/ the way morgott’s character is interpreted by the elden ring fanbase, but at least there’s more concrete information to draw from. there are SOME people who don’t just immediately jump to the whole noble suffering hero interpretation. with ludwig though, there’s really not much solid lore about who he is as a person, just mostly about his status as the big boy top church hunter. as a result a lot of readings of his character are very dull and leave something to be desired, he just becomes a generic chivalrous knight figure. when mfs talk about how much they love his lore, it’s always this super shallow “wow it’s so sad this prolific knight figure became a beast.” is that really satisfying? you think lore is good because it is sad? idk maybe im just fucking autistic but when i interpret bb lore im reading it through my understanding of 19th century history and sociology, Romantic/Transcendentalist/Gothic literature, and a lot of gendered politics. idk i hate that mfs usually will jerk off the lore of souls games and then only have the most barebones reading of it. mfs will be like “i love how everything is left to the imagination” and then only ever talk about what we do know? like. dog have you ever heard of subtext????? IDK man i just think that a road to hell is paved with good intentions reading of Ludwig is infinitely more interesting than the “good nice guy who became a beast and did nothing wrong” but idk 97% of soulsborne fans haven’t read a book outside of berserk and youtube summaries of some trash hp lovecraft and by god does it show bc if they knew about The Sublime the lore understanders would have a much more compelling reconstruction of the game world

[kyouka-supremacy]

#ive thought about this before a lot actually #prefacing this by saying i think BSD falls into the naruto category of “series is very gay but its completely unintentional" #so im not a truther but subtext is subtext and fans can interpret things whatever way they want #so with that in mind i agree there's a level of obsession that aku shows towards dazai that crosses from hero-worship to arguably love #and it is exclusively between aku and dazai that we see this with #i tried to compile the different “hopelessly devoted” relationships in BSD before (in a general sense. not a strictly romance one) #and ended up with fyodor + goncharov / fukuchi + teruko/ akutagawa + higuchi / dazai + akutagawa #and i could not figure out a coherent paralellism between them beyond “person A exploits person B's devotion to them and its messed up” #but what made the dazai + aku relationship different isnt just the screentime allocated to it but also the conclusions it comes up with #it's the only one that acts like person B is better off being treated this way #fyodor and fukuchi are framed as antagonists so obviously their treatment of their subordinates is framed as negative #and you can argue that higuchi explicitly stating that she SHOULD leave the mafia but cant is acknowledging that she knows its bad for her #but the dazai-aku relationship is never allowed that same self-awareness. and on the contrary the story frames aku's development as being- #facilitated by dazai's actions towards him. which makes the abuse even MORE messed up and we can all see it (except the author) #and i think thats the reason fandom doesnt wanna acknowledge the hopeless devotion aspect of them #despite BSD being based on classic lit (which is full of messed up subjects) the fandom doesnt like actual messed up content #and people's aversion to this is probably the same reasons theyre averse to oda and dazai being interpreted as romantic #fandom generally doesnt like mentor/mentee relationships because it makes them uncomfortable #which is a bit strange to me because while discomfort is fine and valid it's not like this is supposed to be a guidebook on relationships? #this is purely textual analysis on a piece of media that happens to contain much worse stuff in it lol like this is BSD we're talking abt #I dont even ship either of these but I can see that these are valid readings of the text. im just saying like- #if akutagawa's feelings for dazai can easily be summarized by a typical Hozier song then maybe its fine to interpret things this way

Brilliant tags, thank you for the addition!!!!

I really wish there were more fics that delved into how Akutagawa's love for Atsushi is different from his love for Dazai.

Tbh I just wish Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai were acknowledged more and I'm only now realizing it's so weird how nobody really ever brings them up? while it's all so evidently there. I mean, considering Akutagawa to be / having been in love with Dazai is seriously a perfectly feasible, consistent, realistic way to interpret the text without any need to bend or stretch it. It just makes a lot of sense for how his character is portrayed - his obsession with Dazai, his devotion, his desperation to be acknowledged and approved by him - and I think it's quite the important piece to understand his character. His love for Dazai is a significant aspect of Akutagawa's character, and it also explains why he's always been so vulnerable to manipulation by Dazai specifically. In a way, I think Akutagawa being so unmistakingly gay is also coherent with the way he's completely indifferent and even oblivious to Higuchi's feelings for him that lie at the light of the day– although, please note, that's a slippery slope that can degenerate in apologism for the way he abuses her, so I beg to be mindful when considering that.

Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai are in ultimate analysis extremely relevant for how Akutagawa falls and acts in the sskk picture: Atsushi being not the first person Akutagawa ever fell for, so in a way him being more aware of his own feelings than Atsushi is; Akutagawa falling for Atsushi first (and harder), because at this point he already knows he likes men, he already knows what being in love with someone feels like. But at the same time I believe that it's so interesting to explore how his feelings for Dazai are different from what he holds for Atsushi. On one side you have Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai being passive: not in the way he doesn't act after them, of course he does, but in the way he's always passively subject to Dazai's abuse, unable to stand for himself, blinded by his devotion to Dazai and unable to really see the damage he's causing him. Passive in the way that he's created this image of Dazai in his mind, perfect, god-like, static and unnatural, that struggles to evolve and adapt to reality. Akutagawa's love for Atsushi, on the other hand, is aggressive: always actively trying to hurt the other, always attempting to make the other suffer; it really speaks of someone whom, all his life, has always associated love with pain. Akutagawa hurts Atsushi because he knows love means pain, and he hurts Atsushi because he can't allow his love for him to hurt Akutagawa again as deeply and painfully as it's done in the past. It's a little sad. Ultimately, Akutagawa's love for Atsushi being the push Akutagawa needs to get over Dazai at last, something I fear he never really managed to do up to - I believe - at least chapter 53: getting over Dazai as something he gradually achieved after the soul-searching he did during his absence between chapters 53 and 84. Chapter 84 being the one where Akutagawa willingly, readily said “no” to Dazai in a way that was so sudden and surprising for anyone who knows him and that is easy to interpret as Akutagawa finally starting to free himself from the influence Dazai has had on him up to that point. That's why Akutagawa's sacrifice for Atsushi is all the more important and poignant, because him protecting (and dying for) Atsushi was never for Dazai to begin with.

I always always considered Akutagawa being gay and in love with Dazai to be like. the most evidently queer thing the bsd canon has to offer (and maybe the “you know the reason yourself don't you”, but I guess that falls under the bigger category of “Ryuunosuke Akutagawa is a character that is gay”); but now that I think about it, nobody ever brings it up really. I can guess it's probably because most people - including people who like Akutagawa and ship sskk - ultimately sympathize with Dazai, and even where acknowledging the hurt he's done to Akutagawa, don't really like to dwell on it or explore the relationship between the two of them which is... legit, indeed. Still, I think their relationship and Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai are a very important part of his character that shouldn't be overlooked when trying to accurately portray him.

And the rational part of my brain knows this can't be intentional, knows Akutagawa wasn't written to be read as gay. But there's another I'd dare say equally rational part of my brain that keeps speaking up to say the majority of his characterization - his devotion to Dazai, his (can I say? tender) sacrifice for Atsushi, his mistreatment of Higuchi - really starts to make sense only when you interpret him as gay. So, sorry???

[tenderlyrenjun]

ur writing is. so good. i go batshit crazy everytime u post a drabble or fic or lil previews of ur wips it tugs on every heartstring i have

i genuinely enjoy every lil detail (i'm still thinking of that one mulan reference u made in privacy to this day!!! and i'd read privacy the day u posted it and god that's such a long time to be thinking abt a fic but ur works will perhaps just live forever in me!) im sure u've heard this so often too but married and time out are probably some of the best jenori fics i've read ever!

i truly enjoy ur writing, i do, i hope this lightens a pin in ur heart people drive deep into u everytime they send u hurtful words... i hope it eases u just the littlest bit knowing someone out there enjoys ur writing... i enjoy them so much...

this going to sound really, really pretentious, but there’s, like, a lot of references in privacy - like there’s a small micro aggression in it (this one happened to me and it was like awkward lol); the are a few Shakespeare allusions; there are other, like, symbols related to yellow (Renjun’s surname) and romantic love; and of course, there’s the basic list of references/allusions at the beginning of the fic, like, bridgerton, reign, baekhyun. there’s actually a reference to my old homework from when I majored in EAAH in college. And, like, i get that they’re overlooked because this is just fanfiction; it’s really not, like, that serious or anything; it’s actually stupid, but it’s also kinda fun, for me, when I’m writing, to make stupid allusions and references like that; it’s a reason why I like writing, but it’s stupid. everything is so covered by subtext that it ends up not mattering at the end of the day. this isn’t to be like “oh I’m so different and so smart and blah”; it’s just, like, i enjoy writing because I get to do some of these things purposefully, but it just … goes unnoticed, and I get it; I’m not running a literature class; I’m honestly just lucky if someone likes the fic enough to say something.

I’m glad you like the detail … I’m actually trying to do it less in fics … sorry; again, this has to do with the pretentious thing. my writing is really … too complicated, so I’m trying to cut out all the allusions and references and stuff; I only really used that line from Mulan to set up the microaggression part (because people in China actually did not like the movie in the 90s; this was a whole thought process when I put that line in; sorry, it’s stupid).

i have … so many WIPs, finished works, and stuff; I’m just not posting. Most of these are really unpopular fics from my old blog like trt, candy (the baekhyun one, not the recent dream release … obviously; sorry, I’m dumb), etc. And, like, i have other finished fics, like, all the kinktober fics are finished now - the ones that were supposed to be published at the end of each week; yeah. Idk, maybe it’s just me lol; it even took you months to send an ask about privacy; I’m just really off putting and not the best person, so, like, idk. There’s just so much … silence about my fics if there’s not someone telling me that they hate it, and I get it. I deleted my last blog because everyone kept telling me that no one owes me comments or interactions for my fics, and people keep doing it here, but it just kind sucks lol … like I have to wait months for someone to say something about my fics, and i already feel awful about being pretentious. But again, this is my problem.

I know that people only really read my jeno fics for the smut, and that’s fine. I feel really … like, awful and pretentious when I talk about the jeno fics because there’s a lot in them that I want to talk about and stuff, but, like, i get it. It’s really dumb; this isn’t a literature class; it’s supposed to be, like, a fantasy escape and stuff. Idk, i just feel really … awful after I post stuff, even my WIPs - like, I’m just gatekeeping boring quote-unquote “plot twists” that really won’t, like, be that surprising or anything. the fics are only good because there’s constant smut and it checks the boxes for common kinks.

Sorry, sorry, i know that I’m being super negative, and you’re being really nice (thank you by the way). I just … feel bad, but this is my own issue because I’m too focused on external validation. This ask kind of, like, touches the other anon asks that I have and that aren’t the … nicest, so idk; sorry, it’s not you; it’s just me being dramatic and pretentious and just really a bad person overall.