#i was just thinking damn i have way too many dreams that are zombie related

[pcktknife]

most if not all of my worst nightmares are literally always zombie apocalypse related

[stuff-from-the-void-matron]

Laurel Wreaths & Animal Teeth (8)

(c!Technoblade x fem!Reader)

(Still no Tech this time, please don’t be mad! But hey we’re in L’manberg now! That’s pog right? Plus we officially meet Wilb and Fundy! But remember y’all, if this chapter doesn’t do well then I can’t write chapter 9! So show chapter 8 some love!! <3)

—————

MOAR ART!

I tried drawing Reader! -> She.

And xoxoyukixoxo-art-dump on here drew her too! She looks so SICK! SHE!

----

He’d been watching her for some time now. 

Not all day and night like some weirdo but he’d noticed instantly when she’d ‘logged on’ so to speak. The first thing to make him curious was him wondering how she arrived here in the first place, but when he tried teleporting to this new person it strangely hadn’t worked. He’d simply not gone anywhere, which was beyond puzzling. He should be able to teleport to anyone on this server. That little tidbit, the not being able to teleport to her, was the second thing to make him curious. So curious in fact that he spent a very long time just looking for her. When the ability to teleport to her was no longer an option he’d found searching for someone was much harder, but in the end he’d found her. And good lord was she a big one. Not taller than endermen or anything bigger but she definitely towered over the villagers she lived with.

He didn’t know how she ended up here since you needed an invite to be allowed on the server. And he knows she wasn’t invited, because he knows ALL the people who are invited. Hell, at one point he even tried banning her (an action which kicks players from the server) but… nothing had happened. He’d been hidden and watching her when he’d done it and she’d not even noticed, just kept on planting flowers around one of the villager’s houses without a care in the world.

He’d unbanned her and nothing changed again. Then he’d tried using other commands on her. Teleport, clear, give, and even Kill. Not a single one did anything. That made him nervous. He’d never encountered something like this before. It was unheard of. If this player decided to become hostile, or End forbid, GENOCIDAL… it would have very disastrous consequences for the other players on the server..

He decided then and there to monitor her deeply until further notice. 

Which turned into him popping up by her village and sneaking in to watch her and what she did day in and day out for a few months. And honestly.. She seemed pretty benign. 

All she really did was change up the village she lived in and decorate. When not doing those things she would do other hobbies like cooking and potion making. She’d also leave the village sometimes to just explore. He took those chances to go inside her home and snoop around. He also noticed aggressive mobs were pretty neutral towards her for whatever reason. That only ever happened if a player had a clear relation to a mob (aka a hybrid) or if the player had creative… Which it looked like she had. But she also didn’t look fully human.

“What a strange being you are..”

-0-

Before you knew it the next day had come, bright and early. 

You’d had to go back to the Overworld around sunrise to get ready to greet Tubbo. You’d explained to Azo that you’d try to come back as soon as you could but for now you had to go on a trip for a while. She was sad to see you go but said okay and to hurry back. Your heart broke all over again, feeling terrible that you had to leave her alone but there was nothing you could do. You’d bring her with you if it were possible but you knew her entering the Overworld would turn her into a zombie instantly. And that’s not a fate you’re willing to make anyone go through.

But you left her a chest with some golden carrots, some apples, and even some of the stew you’d made for Tubbo and Tommy. She liked the stew, so you left her a few bowls and even some juice to drink in case she got thirsty. You hugged her goodbye and told her you’d bring her a gift back. She nodded happily and then you sadly had to leave through the portal. Which you made sure to destroy after exiting it. Didn’t want anything wandering through. That would be a disaster. 

Once you were back in the overworld you went home and sat on your bed and just thought. More than anything you just wanted to step in and prevent Schlatt and Quackity from winning. But you didn’t know if doing that would have dangerous consequences or not. You’d seen so many movies where a small change in the past ends up having massive effects in the future. Damn butterfly effects. Stopping them from winning the election could end up causing a civil war within L’manburg. Or Tubbo, Tommy, or Wilbur could end up hurt or even lose a life. Or something even more devastating could happen. 

...But you hated the thought of Tommy and Wilbur getting exiled. It wasn��t fair or just. Especially while getting shot at and chased down like dogs. Schlatt and Quackity really pissed you off with that part. Seeing Ponk and Punz just instantly turn on the two original founders left you feeling utterly appalled. Schlatt hadn’t even been sworn in as president yet! He’d not taken an oath or anything! None of what he ‘decreed’ should have been taken as law! None of it was legal-

You pause. None of that WAS legal.. right? Did the citizens even know that? Were they aware that simply winning an election wasn’t the instant inauguration that Schlatt and Quackity made it out to be? Surely there was more to L’manburg than simply the bare bones parts that were shown on youtube in your original world. There had to be actual systemic structure for this whole ass small country. You wanted to believe there was, because the alternative made you facepalm. But at this point you honestly just didn’t know. You would need to have a discussion with Wilbur and Tommy (Wilbur more so since he was the adult in this situation).

You needed to talk to Wilbur asap.

-0-

Tubbo and Tommy came to get you bright and early, the blond looking more anxious than he was trying to let on. Seeing the usually so upbeat and grinning boy so nervous made your stomach churn. So you’d pulled him into a hug, not even letting him finish his greeting to you before you did. He went silent and was tense at first. But you took in a breath and said in as reassuring a tone as you could physically muster,

“Don’t worry kiddo. Things WILL be okay. I’ll make sure of it, alright?”

Tommy was silent, but you could hear the choked gasp of breath the boy took in, and you felt how his lanky body seemed to relax in your hold. He awkwardly put his arms around your back, seemingly not used to this, the whole hugging thing. At least not such heartfelt ones. He’s hugged Tubbo, Wilbur, and Philza but this one just felt different. It felt safer. Like if he stayed here nothing could hurt him. It was weird but.. nice. Part of the boy didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to leave this new safe place. Here hugging you there was no fear of losing the election, no worries of wars with the DSMP, there was nothing bad. Just a pleasant warmth he felt like he could just fall asleep to.

But the bigger part of him knew he’d never hide away from his problems. It wasn’t who he was. He wasn’t some baby coward who hid behind mommy for protection when shit got tough. (missing how his subconscious referred to you as ‘mom’) He was a MAN! Nevermind he was barely 16! He was practically an adult (in his own eyes)! He’d fought in a war for independence! He’d battled for his and his countrymen’s freedom! There’s no way he’d cower away from this damned election! 

With a new fire in him, largely in part to the confidence you seemed to have for him and L’manburg, he eventually pulled back from the hug and gave you one of his signature bright grins. He said thanks but there’s no way he was worrying! Like you said, things were gonna be fine! You gave him an encouraging smile in return and agreed, then added that if anything DID go wrong you’d stick by them and make sure it all got resolved. The teens looked grateful for your support. But then you bid the villagers goodbye for now and told the iron golems to make sure to keep them all safe.

Then you three were off to L’manburg.

-0-

Walking into L’manburg was weird. You’d only ever seen parts of it via the videos you’d watched from the various minecraft youtubers. But being there in person was wild, seeing all the buildings and pathways was interesting though. Tommy and Tubbo changed into their ‘presidential attire’, which were just those vaguely old school British military uniforms they wore at the start of the L’manburg thing. You still ruffled their hair and cooed over them, saying they looked like official little men. They got all huffy and Tommy swatted your hand away, making you laugh. Tubbo suggested showing you around before the election began, which you thought was a good idea. So the pair escorted you around L’manburg, showing you the main places plus their houses and favorite spots. You gave Tommy a Look and asked him if he really lived in a dirt hut.

“It’s DIRT Tommy, not even cobblestone. Just a dirty dirt hut,” you said with a sigh.

Tubbo snickered while Tommy tried defending himself. But he honestly was just making excuses though thankfully he got cut off by Wilbur showing up. He was in the same uniform as both teenagers and you saw him giving you a wide eyed look as he walked up. You could tell he was used to not being around someone so much taller than him. Which you guess made sense since he’d been hanging out with teenagers, a girl, and his own son mostly. You think Dream is taller than him but you don’t know how often they’re around each other peacefully to notice height..

“Oh, hello, you must be Reader! Tommy and Tubbo have told me about you!” the brunet man said with a charming smile. 

You returned the smile and held your hand out for him to shake. He gave a firm handshake and you said he must be Wilbur and that the boys had mentioned him to you. He gave a sly smile to the two boys and asked if that was so, and said he hoped they’d said good things about him. Not liking his teasing tone Tommy cut in and said he told you about Wilbur being a bitch! You laughed and Wilbur punched Tommy in the shoulder, laughing when the boy loudly claimed he was abusing a child!

Wilbur rolled his eyes at the blond boy and asked what the occasion for you visiting his lovely country was. You gave a relaxed smile and said you just wanted to come out and support ‘big man’ and Tubbo on this exciting day! Wilbur smiled and perked up when Tubbo said they were giving you a tour of L’manburg. Wilbur asked why the shortest boy didn’t say so before and gestured for you to follow him, saying the best person to give a tour is always the president! You liked his charming enthusiasm but you could still see the nervousness just lurking under the surface for all three of them. You hated that their worry was justified. 

-0-

Wilbur took over showing you around, Tubbo and Tommy right behind him adding little comments here and there to irk him. You ohh’d and ahh’d at the polite times, even saying how cool the place was. You even got shown Wilbur’s ‘ball house’ and their extensive nether pathways briefly. You got a bit distracted in the Nether, wondering if Azo was okay. Though you supposed she was a tough kid, what with having survived in the Nether her whole life so far. But she was just a little kid, still a toddler. She shouldn’t have to survive. She should be living.

“And I guess that’s the whole tour! I hope we’ve given you a good impression of my country~” Wilbur said with a smile, thoroughly snapping your attention back to the present.

You were thankful they couldn’t see how your eyes widened when you realized you’d totally zoned out during the last leg of the tour. Instead of worrying you just gushed and said you’d been really dazzled! The trio grinned and you ruffled Tommy’s hair and said you could expect no less from the big man himself and sweet Tubbo. The pair were happy to hear you praising the country they’d worked so hard to have, with Tommy even playfully swatting your hand away from your hair and saying anything he helped with would be the best. Wilbur gave a very big brother reply of ‘oh really?’ that was dripping with doubt, which started to set Tommy off.

The two started going back and forth, causing you to roll your eyes. Yeah they definitely had the brother vibe about them. Though Wilbur lost interest in arguing when he spotted someone a bit aways behind you and Tommy. He perked up and waved, calling out ‘FUNDY!’ to get his son’s attention. You all glanced over to see a fox hybrid in a uniform that was the same as the boys around you, only the coloring was off. Fundy’s was more pastel colored while the others were darker/more saturated. Wilbur waved him over and you noticed the way Fundy’s muzzle scrunched up when Wilbur threw an arm around his shoulders, but you said nothing. Not really your place but from what you remember of the smp videos… Wilbur wasn’t the ideal father figure to his furry son..

“Fundy, this is Reader! She’s a friend of Tubbo and Tommy’s! She came to support us today,” Wilbur said with a smile.

The fox quirked an eyebrow at you and asked a mildly incredulous voice if your name was actually ‘Reader’. Tommy told him to shut up and pointed out that his name was ‘Fundy’ so he had no room to be criticizing anybody’s name. Fundy raised his paws in surrender and said fine, whatever, no need to jump down his throat about it. You chuckled and said it was okay, it was a rather odd name. And you liked his name, it was cool. Tommy actually boo’d you while Fundy smiled, glad at least someone stuck up for him. Though that reminded Fundy to ask Wilbur if he’d seen the ballots…

Wilbur’s mood darkened and he gave a clipped, “Yeah, I saw them.” His tone making the other L’manburg citizens feel uncomfortable. You spoke up, asking what was wrong with them? Had someone tampered with them or something? Fundy sighed and rubbed the back of his neck and said yes and no. Yes someone had changed them but it wasn’t really ‘tampering’, just altering to fit with the new campaign runners. She gave his upset father a side glance, his triangular shaped ears going back when he saw the way Wilbur’s eyebrows were furrowed and his jaw clenched. Seems the current president was still pissed off that his son and first lady had decided to run against him together..

“Well we had to change the ballots to include all the people running, and even an ‘other’ option… Yeah,” Fundy said lowly.

You couldn’t help the way you raised an eyebrow at that and said, 

“Isn’t that just the standard for ballots? Designing ballots to not show all the people their options would just be criminal.”

Wilbur didn’t seem to like your (in his opinion) unwanted input and said however L’manburg designed their ballots was none of your business anyways, especially since you weren’t even a citizen. You could feel yourself narrowing your eyes at the brunet, though nobody could see it, and replied that you didn’t need to be a citizen to point out that not putting all the names of those running on an ELECTORAL BALLOT was hugely unethical and borderline malicious hindrance to the citizen’s right to free choice. This little snit between you and the current president had dropped the mood low, with the three boys beside you looking more than uncomfortable. 

But thankfully Tubbo found his voice and before Wilbur could retort to your statement he turned to you and said the election and debate would be starting soon and that he’d sit in the audience with you. This reminded Wilbur that he needed to practice his speech and debate responses with Tommy so he straightened his posture and adjusted his coat before giving you a faux smile and then telling Tubbo they’d see him afterwards. You kept a polite smile on your face as the four led you to an open part of the village center where a large stage/platform had been built along with seating in front of it. Wilbur jerked his thumb towards the stage and told Tommy to come on and the blond boy said he’d be right there in a moment. The brunet looked put out but nodded and stalked off, leaving the four alone in the audience area.

Once he was out of earshot you turned to Tommy and gave him a disbelieving look and said in a hushed tone,

“Tommy, you and Wilbur weren’t ACTUALLY planning to tamper with the ballots were you?? That’s insanely unconstitutional! The people of L’manburg have a right to know and be able to choose whichever voting option they want. If they don’t have that option then it’s not a real election, it’s just the illusion of choice.”

The blond looked uncomfortable, sweating and avoiding eye lens contact with you. He felt ashamed because… well that HAD been the plan. At least Wilbur told him it had been before Quackity found out. He’d not been sure about the plan but he hadn’t done much to argue with Wilbur either. He’d convinced himself it wasn’t that big of a deal, but seeing how shocked and offended you looked that they’d even thought about doing that made him feel like a bastard. You saw how nervous he looked and sighed, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing softly before reassuring him you weren’t angry.

“I’m not mad at you Tommy, I’m just disappointed that this was something you went along with. You have to know how wrong that was? Imagine you were a regular citizen and you voted in the election but later found out it was all rigged, you’d never had a choice regarding your country like you’d been led to believe. Wouldn’t you feel wronged?”

Tommy seemed to deflate at your words but gave a remorseful nod, neither of you noticing that your words seemed to have also struck a chord with both Fundy and Tubbo as well. You gave the blond boy a reassuring smile, saying that part of being a member of government was respecting the people’s choices. Even if you think it’s stupid and wrong. You have to let the people choose for themselves. The ability to choose is sometimes the only difference between merely existing on this bitch of a world and actually Living~

Tommy seemed to have taken your words to heart, making you smile at him before pulling him into a half hug and saying sincerely,

“I’m proud of you Tommy, Tubbo too. You’ve both done so much for this country. More than any child should ever have to. I wish more than anything that you’d not HAD to sacrifice and lose so much. But I’ll be here to support you both going forward. I just don’t want either of you doing anything unethical. You’re both better than that.”

Tubbo almost teared up and came over and let his face rest against your side in a show of affection. He’d never had anyone say they were proud of him before and honestly.. he didn’t know how badly he needed to hear it until you said it. Tommy leaned into your hug, close to tearing up like his best friend but he blinked rapidly until the tears faded.

None of them noticed the envious way Fundy stared at them, feeling jealousy bubble in his stomach at the way you seemed to care for the two boys. He felt childish for feeling that way but he couldn’t help it. You clearly cared about the two in a maternal way, that much was obvious. But you weren’t treating them like babies either. You were respectful and loving at the same time. Fundy wondered if that’s what it was like to have a mother..

“TOMMY! COME ON! THE RALLY STARTS SOON!”

They all broke away when they heard Wilbur yelling down at them from the podium. Tubbo sighed and Tommy straightened his hat before giving a cheeky smile. You told him to go give his best, and no matter what happened you’d be proud. This pumped the blond boy up and he gave a cheer before ruffling Tubbo’s hair and turning to the stage and running up around the side to get to the top, you and the brunet watching him go. That’s when you remembered the fox hybrid that was still standing close by. You offer him a calm smile and say kindly,

“So, Fundy was it?”

------

tagged folks: @salinesoot​ @lady-bee-fechin​ @kacchasu​ @putridjoy​ @lunawritesstories​ @galaxypankitty3030​ @paradigmax​ @zachariethememerie​ @killmewithafanfic @trinity-1002107 @hufflepuff-demigod @truthdaze @exorcisms-with-elmo @redbloodtea @heythereimhaylz @olyink @jackalopedoodles @nikkineeky @artsimatsu @hufflepuff-demigod @corpiet @beepa99 @anxiousnarwhale @bananaaddictmilkshake

[sometipsygnostalgic]

i feel like gumbald had to show up at some point bc he had been referenced so many times in the past but i agree it should have been handled better but for the life of me i cant think of how i would have written it

I’d have definitely written more from PB’s side because I felt like we didn’t see nearly enough of what was going on in her head this season. That could have fixed all of my issues, even with a few lines showing she was conflicted before the finale. I know they’d dedicated an episode to her backstory, and they only had like 5 eps left, but damn, they could have done more in Seventeen or Gumbaldia with a clever use of time and dialogue. Like how did she jump from being kind of glassy-eyed and reflective whenever she talks about her uncle, to wanting his head on a plate? Is that actually how she feels? Fuck if I know. We SHOULD have known since her character in the final season does a massive reversion, at least before the dream sequence. 

I don’t want to say “they should have scrapped THIS other episode” because.... I think the remaining season 10 eps covered exactly what we NEEDED them to. We barely had any time for closure of these characters and their dynamics, so I’m glad we even had an ep dedicated to Tree Trunks.  Even though I fucking HATED the Marcy and Hunson ep, I feel like we needed closure on THEIR relationship too. 

As for Gumbald himself - id have just made him funnier and slightly more relatable, even if its in a super weird way that doesnt at all make him less of a terrible person. They made attempts at this humor in Always Bmo Closing and Gumbaldia, but it kinda fell flat, especially with Chicle and Lolly there having like no personality. The three of them together felt like p-zombies. I know that this is kind of intentional, it made the Bonnibel Bubblegum ep terrifying for me, but it’s also boring. 

I really enjoyed those brief moments Chicle and Lolly were given personality. Obviously we know a lot about Chicle what with him being Crunchy, so it was incredible that he preferred to stay as Crunchy, and Lolly was the dark horse of the bunch so the moment she betrayed Gumbald and turned him into a punch bowl again was nothing short of “Adventure Time being itself”. I have a hard read on Lolly because it is implied, at the end of the day, that she DIDNT want a death war, even though shes the one that facilitated it. I like when AT implies characters have more going on under the hood. 

Gumbald’s motivations were pretty weak. They make perfect sense for a oneshot character, and this war would have probably done decently if it was a sideplot like the Lemongrab arc, but it’s just not engaging enough for a final threat. 

Now, GOLB, yes, that was very engaging, but it got 2 episodes compared to 5-ish for Gumbald setup. I know GOLB was generally anticlimactic anyway so w/e, maybe it worked better as a surprise rather than having buildup and being a letdown (like Something Big). 

[adel-memes]

Thanks @manic-no :D

Alrighty! Let's do this!

Rules: Answer 28 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

1. name/nickname: Adel :)

2. gender: She/her

3. star sign: I don't mess with these stuff sorry bud 👍

4. height: Short.

5. time: 11 pm

6. birthday: May 19th!

7. favorite bands/groups: Uhhhhhhh.. I know I liked MCR??

8. favorite solo artists: Peter Hollens!! Acapella and great covers tbh I'm 💞💞💞

9. song stuck in my head: The other side, greatest showman.

10. last movie: I believe it was... Love, Simon or to all the boys I've loved before or endgame (for a gal that doesnt care about romance I do be watching these things LMAO)

11. last show: Avatar the last airbender I believe :^)

12. when did I create this blog: I have no idea. Recently though.

13. what do I post: tbh?? Anything I enjoy BUT mostly it would be FS or LOZ related.

14. last thing googled: Nebula

15. other blogs: that one dying art blog it even uses my old name RIP I should change that and actually post some of my recent work.

16. do I get asks: kinda (looking at you Lara ily akdke)

17. why I chose my url: I'm Adel and my personality is just reaction memes and vine quotes ✌😔✌

18. following: 549

19. followers: 140

20. average hours of sleep: inconsistent tbh but I think it would be around 6 to 8 hours OR 5 hours with me crashing later anyway.

21. lucky number: you guys got lucky numbers????????

22. Instruments: Is mayonnaise an instrument? (Actual answer: nope.)

23. what am I wearing: PJs.

24. dream job: .... SIGHS... okay here we go: Author, artist, farmer, business owner, accountant, baker, teacher, leader, counselor, principal. Way.. way too many. Also youtuber but too anxious for that ngl. Uh.. yeah way too many- also librarian??????? Idk man there's too many choices.

25. dream trip: Saudi Arabia, specifically to Mecca 💞💞💞

26. favorite food: I do like pasta!

27. nationality: Middle Eastern!

28. favorite song: UHHHH..????? It's a cover but "I'm still here" covered by Peter Hollens is rlly rlly neat and I lowkey listen to it for writing inspiration so.. yeah?

29. last book read: I THINK it was Percy Jackson?? The titan's curse one?? It's been a while so I cant recall if I wrote the name right oops- (Percy Jackson fans would have had my head my phone almost changed Titan to Titanic now all I can imagine is my heart will go on playing in the BG 🤦‍♀️)

30. top three fictional universes I’d like to live: HMM.. One, Legend of Zelda! I probably would die in that universe but damn would it be neat to vibe and suddenly see a twink break my pots and steal my money and then cry because the local cryptid with hero complex is here. Two, minecraft but on peaceful mode (LOOK. ZOMBIES AND ALL I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THEM. I JUST WANNA BE ALONE FARMING.) Three, Avatar!!!! It would be cool!!!!!!! Terrifying but cool!!!!!!!!

Any one can do it lol idk who wants to take part man

[otakween]

Cyborg 009 God’s War (2012) - Ch 1 - Ch 9

--001--

-At this point, I’m very confused about how many times I’ve read this story because I think it was kinda in the manga already and was definitely adapted to the anime too. Not sure how much will be new here but I’m sure it will be more of a satisfying conclusion so I’m excited.

-The art style is pretty damn close to the OG Cyborg 009. Maybe a little more simplistic

-I love Ishinomori’s squiggly hair <3 he’s so cute

-I was pretty shook that Gilmore brought up Ishinomori’s death. That was so sad :((( This is already setup to be a touching tribute to the work he wanted to create. 

-I don’t really get how this “Cyborg 009 is nonfiction” thing is supposed to work. Gilmore asks Ishinomori to come up with a good ending as if his writing affects the future but isn’t it the other way around?? Didn’t 001 beam their story into his mind or something? 

-So I guess we’re doing the “one cyborg at a time” thing again. I like that, it gives me something to look forward to with each chapter and keeps things fresh. Also, since Joe’s the highest number it kind of builds up some excitement. 

--002--

-The zombies of NYC are back. Are these new zombies or is this related to the previous arc??

--003--

-That Espeon gijinka looking lady returned for no apparent reason! (It was probably supposed to be a different woman but whatever).

--004--

-Moth people...sure why not? (What the heck do moths have to do with seeing into the past? What was that weird mouth power?)

--005--

-It’s cool to see Geronimo interact with South American natives. I’m sure the cultural stuff isn’t super accurate but -shrug-

-This part made me wonder how many native religions there are. Since there are so many tribes there must be hundreds. Although maybe they don’t think of it as “religion”? 

-Seen the “foreign man is treated as God by native tribe” trope so many times and it always feels pretty racist (although in this case it kind of makes sense since Geronimo’s got super powers). Is this trope based on any truth? Has something like that ever happened or does it all go back to some urban legend? 

--006--

-It’s pretty jarring seeing cartoony Chang Changku next to a realistically drawn man lol

-I know this is “God’s War” but they sure are talking about “God” a lot. Would 006 believe in God? I don’t really know much about Chinese beliefs...

-Whelp. That was a weird chapter. Baby eating cannibals, elephant medusa, a yeti and 006 having an existential crisis

-Is this supposed to be an exploration of God’s from different cultures? If so, that’s kind of cool. Then again, “Sheba” seemed kind of made up. Isn’t Ganesh the elephant God??

-Why are all of these chapters ending with dragons? This is all so random!! 

--007--

-Okay and suddenly we get a weird Junji Ito style horror one-shot out of nowhere! At this point I’m assuming these stories aren’t actually connected like I thought they would be. Based on the covers and the fact that this is “The Conclusion” I really thought there would be more of an arc here...

-Seriously grotesque imagery here. I guess it was supposed to be a dream (or is it!?) but the way people reacted to corpses falling out of the sky was even more unsettling. Who the hell would hear about that and then be like “Well now I gotta see this play!” lol wtf

--008--

-A rehash of the Undersea Pyramid arc but this time even more confusing! The astronaut part had serious Alien vibes. Pretty terrifying.

--009--

-Okay, this is the part that was adapted in the anime and it’s just straight up nonsense! Joe’s revealed to be in a relationship (?) with this Hisui girl and like two seconds later she’s become “Himiko” and is revered as a Goddess because of her psychic abilities. Meanwhile Joe’s trapped in some weird illusion on Easter Island??? It’s way too random and the pace is ridiculously rushed. 

-Yep...the Hisui chapters are straight up trash. It suddenly becomes Elfen Lied levels of violent and nothing makes sense. Also, why does Joe’s butt look like that one King of the Hill character’s? Dead.

-I can’t decide if the parts with Ishinomori are a touching tribute or low-key disrespectful...there’s something uncomfortable about it. 

[adrenaline-roulette]

He’ll save every one of us Chapter 6

Brian May x Reader with side notes of Roger Taylor x Original female character 

Preview:  “She suggested I drop my degree, and run off to Antarctica with her, so we could live out our lives with penguins. I shot that idea down rather quickly, which then of course resulted in her designing a plan to steal a penguin from the zoo instead. I have a feeling that moving to Antarctica was for purely selfish penguin related reasons, and not because of my crisis over exams.”

Chapter six: Broken inside

The taxi zipped through the busy London traffic, very nearly causing a collision on multiple occasions, though you nor the other passengers in the cab had it in you to mention the erratic driving. It was typical taxi driver behaviour really, they wanted to get you to your destination as fast as possible, in hopes of earning a decent tip, you were hardly in the tipping mood however. To anyone else, today could be described as the perfect day. You had woken up to clear blue skies, the sun shining merrily away without a cloud to be seen. Birds chirped gayly from their nests, as children shrieked with glee bellow. Yes, to anyone who wasn’t about to spend two hours sitting in a church, today was perfect. 

Brian sat in silence beside you, his hand clasped tightly around yours, his knuckles turning white from the prolonged cramped posture. His suit fitted him well, and the bright orange tie he wore around his neck was exactly what the funeral announcement had requested. ‘The family has requested that everyone in attendance wear something orange, to remember Bree.’ You could picture the newspaper clipping clearly in your mind, it wasn’t something you could easily forget though, the death announcement of your best friend.  You had been sitting at the small circular table in Brian and Roger’s flat, eating cereal at 3pm, when you flipped the page of the newspaper, finding yourself face to face with the obituaries. Only three days had passed, and those days felt both like a lifetime and as if no time had passed whatsoever. You knew Bree’s obituary would be published, but the shock you felt upon looking at it for the first time, nothing could have ever prepared you for that. Reading the announcement, taking in the details of where and when the funeral was to be held, made the whole situation all the more real. You had almost convinced yourself it had all been a terrible nightmare, and you would have believed that too, if it hadn’t of been for Brian constantly checking up on you, and for Roger’s zombie like state. Brian had found you that afternoon curled up in the kitchen, back pressed against the over door, with you head buried in your knees. He had sat with you for nearly an hour, just holding you, and whispering quiet reassurances into your ear.

As was protocol, you had worn a black dress, pairing it was the most outrageous pair of orange high heels that had ever existed. They sported three shades of orange, snakeskin, and sequins. Bree had loved them, and had worn them without your knowledge on many an occasion. Roger sat beside Brian, a black pinstriped suite, and orange scarf draped across his thin figure, he looked as miserable as you felt, all life having seemed to drain out of his eyes. Freddie and John had opted to take their own tai, promising to meet you at the church before the service began, they had tried to convince Roger to ride with them, but you had insisted he go with you and Brian.

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“Darling, are you sure you don’t want Roger to join us?” Freddie asked softly, looking at you with pleading eyes.

You shook your head no, before sighing deeply. “Fred, I think Roger needs me with him right now. He’s hurting just as much as I am, I think having someone there who was as close to Bree as he was, is what is best. For both of us.” Freddie relented after that, he knew when to pick his fights, and could tell this would be a losing battle.

 You had Brian to comfort you, had since the very first second you stepped foot in the hospital, Roger however had suddenly found himself without a shoulder to cry on. Bree had been his go to when he needed someone to vent to as of late, and now with her gone, he was back to square one. Try as they might, none of the boys were able to comfort Roger, simply because none of them had experienced loss this way. You however, had. You were dealing with the exact same thing as Roger was, and he seemed to take solace in that fact. If he needed someone to talk to, he sought you out, which wasn’t difficult, as you had been spending all your time at their flat. And the moment you had told him to ride in the taxi with you and Brian, you could see he was about ready to cry once again.

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Sitting in the church, a coffin decorated in photographs of Bree’s life standing in the centre of everyone’s attention, it all felt almost too surreal. You were sat up the front along with her family, and you could hear her mother sobbing from a few seats away. You turned to look, and spotted Mister Skewes offering Misses Skewes a tissue, before wrapping his arm around her shoulders. You longed to have Brian beside you to do the same, or to comfort you in some way, however he, along with Freddie and John were stood towards the back, leaving seats for those who were closest to the family and to Bree. Roger sat somewhere in the middle, you had lost sight of him once you took your seat.

It was your turn now, Bree’s parents had asked you to prepare a eulogy for the day, and despite how much you wished you had said no, at the time you agreed. Your hands tremble as you make your way to the front, the papers you clutched tightly in your fists becoming crumpled. As you stood before the guests, an all too familiar scent hit your nose, and you felt the urge to cry overwhelm you once again. Bree’s perfume, you would recognise it anywhere, she wore the same perfume every day you had known her, no matter the occasion. All rational thinking leaves your mind as you breath in the scent deeply, looking up and over the many people. You almost expect Bree to have just walked into the church. You catch sight of Brian, his mop of curls making him stand out in the crowd, and he offers you a soft smile. Looking around once again, you spot the bottle of perfume sat beside the coffin, how you hadn’t noticed it before you’re unsure, but now you see it clear as day. The bottle is nearly empty, due to Bree’s constant use, and you want to envelope yourself in the smell for the rest of your life.

Finally, blinking back tears, you look down at your papers, and smooth them over, your voice shaking as you begin. “Bree was the kind of person you dream about meeting, she was larger than life in every aspect, but yet still one of the most down to earth people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Despite only knowing each other for a few years, we both always agreed that we must’ve been soulmates in another lifetime.” You pause and look up, tears beginning to cloud your vision. You spot Jake in the crowd, his head bowed, taking in your words, just as everyone else did the same. “I always knew I could talk to Bree about anything, she would be my first point of call after a heartbreak, or after an especially good date. No matter what, she was always there to listen, and offer advice. Her advice wasn’t always the best, and on several occasions,  she suggested I drop my degree, and run off to Antarctica with her, so we could live out our lives with penguins. I shot that idea down rather quickly, which then of course resulted in her designing a plan to steal a penguin from the zoo instead. I have a feeling that moving to Antarctica was for purely selfish penguin related reasons, and not because of my crisis over exams.”

  You take a deep breath, choking back the sob that so desperately claws its way up your throat. Tears were prickling at your eyes now, but you refused to allow yourself to cry in front of all these people. “I wish Bree was here with us all still today, I’ll miss our band rehearsals and concerts, I know for a fact that Tim’s place will never be the same without Bree singing along to every song that plays over the jukebox.” You smile softly, thinking back to all the times you had found yourself sat in that very bar, screaming your lungs out to each song that played. Bree, I love you, we all love you. You’ll be in my heart forever and will be missed eternally.” You ball the paper up in your fist, and step away and back to your seat. There was so much more you wanted to say, but your final words had come out strangled, and you found yourself struggling to breathe. Looking over your shoulder, you lock eyes with Roger, his pale blue orbs swimming with unshed tears. All you can do is offer him a half-hearted smile, knowing damned well that it wouldn’t do anything to help comfort him, you barely knew how to comfort yourself in this moment, let alone him and it was all you had to offer.

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The bright sun almost seemed to be smocking you as you left the church, it was such a stark contrast to the dark and bleak mood you currently found yourself in. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you made your way into the garden behind the church. Most of the guests remained to once again express their condolences to Bree’s family, before either making their way home, to the wake or just back to their lives in general. As they say, life goes on, with or without your best friend. You had done well, no tears had officially been shed on your behalf during the entire service,  they had pooled at the corner of your eyes, but you had never allowed a single one to go any further, you flat out refused to cry any more, and hadn’t done so since telling Roger the news last week.

There’s a small wooden bench perched amongst some flowering bushes towards the back of the garden, and you take a seat there, swinging your legs back and forth below you as you look across the garden. Everything was beautifully green and in bloom, and in any other situation this would be an ideal spot to sit and think over how wonderful life was. The quiet is disturbed by footsteps rounding the corner, before the newcomer sits down beside you. “I’m so sorry my love.” Brian murmurs, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, as you rest your cheek against his shoulder.

Brain had sent Freddie and Deaky off to go and find Roger, who had disappeared after the service, he was sure that the drummer just needed some time alone though he would prefer to know he was safe. “I kept telling myself this wasn’t real. I had myself convinced that Bree was just gone for a few weeks on holiday, and that she would be back, you know? But this, today, it’s finally dawning on me that she’s not on holiday.” You sighs, pulling away from Brian’s shoulder and blinking up at him. You had wiped off your foundation on his jacket by accident, leaving him with sa rather large mark on his new suit

“I know, I can’t quite believe it either. And I wish I knew what to say.” He whispers.

With a deep sigh, you clasp your hand around his, stroking you thumb over his knuckles. “It isn’t raining.” The statement seemingly comes out of nowhere, and leaves Brian with a look of sheer confusion. “The movies… It’s always raining at a funeral.”

Brain leans forwards, brushing a soft kiss to your lips. “What do we do now?”

“We move on. According to all the ‘dealing with grief’ pamphlets I’ve read, we’re supposed to go on with our lives, just like that.” You want laugh, the idea of continuing on as you would normally sounding like the most absurd thing in the world to you.

“And is that what you want to do?”

“What I want to do, is have a drink.”

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Today was not a good day, nearly a full week had passed since the funeral and you still refused to allow yourself to cry. Something which was becoming increasingly hard as the day wore on. This was your first time back in your apartment, you had spent the last near two weeks with Brain at his and Roger’s place, desperately needing the company, afraid of what would happen if you were alone. But here you were, once again alone, standing in what was once Bree’s bedroom. Brian had offered to come with you, so had Roger, but you had refused. This was something you had to do, you had to go through Bree’s things, and sort out what was to be kept, donated or thrown away.  You had discussed how to do this with Mister and Misses Skewes, who were both too distraught to do the task themselves. They had told you to keep anything you wanted, and to pack up everything for them in boxes, they promised to be around within a few weeks to collect the boxes.

Going through her room was pure agony, you had started the day off with music blasting from the record player in the living room, but soon enough the memories of Bree dancing to the songs that played became too much, and you returned to silence. The silence was worse, it allowed you to hear your own thoughts, and right now, that was the last thing you need. ‘Why wasn’t it me?’ The voice in your head repeated, and you dragged your hands down your face, You had been asking yourself that exact question for days now, and at no point could you ever come up with a reason as to why you were still stood here, and Bree was not. Picking up Bree’s bass guitar, Penny, you scream, very nearly dropping the electric blue guitar. Bree had saved for months in order to purchase Penny, and the guitar truly was beautiful, and sounded magnificent!

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“What would you like me to do with Bree’s bass?” You asked timidly, sitting on the small sofa in the hotel Mister and Misses Skewes were staying at in London.

Mister Skewes, or Andrew as you had been instructed to call him, turned to his wife Emelia, a pained expression crossing both of their faces. None of you knew quite how to approach this subject, you knew the clean out process had to begin, but the how’s and when’s were difficult to negotiate.

“Did you ever play dear?” Emelia asks with a gentle smile, sipping her tea as she looks at you expectantly.

You shake your head no, placing your own up of tea back on the coffee table. “Bree taught me a little bit, but I was never able to pick it up as well as her.”

“No one else in our family plays, Bree was the only one of us who was musically gifted. Please, you keep her guitar, do with it as you will, but please make sure it goes to someone who will appreciate it.”

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You can’t quite recall the last time you had driven Bree’s station wagon, if you ever had for that matter? You had your own car, and Bree was always happy to drive you to and from your gigs with your drum kit in the back, but for today, you needed the larger car, and yours just wouldn’t cut it. You drive through London, making the short trip to Brian’s flat, knowing he and Roger would be out at rehearsal for the afternoon. Thankfully, Brian had given you your own key once you had started spending all of you time there, which made this whole process that little bit easier.

You carry your equipment up the flights of stairs, making multiple trips just to bring everything up, but you don’t mind, the exercise keeps your mind busy, and helps to keep your tears at bay for the time being. You set everything up, and feel your anger bubbling in your chest. You knew this was the right thing to do, but the situation surrounding it was all wrong. The sounds of footsteps near the front door pulls you away from your thinking, and as the door swings open, four sets of eyes lock onto you. Freddie and Deaky are here, you haven’t seen them since the funeral, and you’re thankful that they’re here now, especially Deaky. “Y/N love, is everything alright?” Brian asks, his eyes moving from yours and focusing on your drum kit which was now set up in his living room.

With a sniffle, you grab the drumsticks out of your back pocket, just as Freddie swings the front door closed. “I can’t do this anymore.” You whisper, and if it weren’t for the shocked look on Brian’s face, you would venture that no one had even heard you speak.

“Do what Y/N?”

“This! Music, the band! I can’t do it! Not without Bree!” You practically shriek, as you step closer to the four men, all who wore faces of sympathy and shock. During your time knowing these four men, at no stage had they ever seen you quite so worked up and emotional, and they had no idea how to react. “Roger, my drum kit is yours.”

You thrust the drumsticks into his hands, not waiting for a reply, before storming back to the sofa you had been stood at just before. With care, you pick up the guitar case, with Penny enclosed, making your way over to John. “Deaky.” You mutter, shoving the case towards the young man with a little too much force.

“Y/N, we can’t take these….” John begins, though you cut him off before he can say another word.

“I don’t want to fucking hear it Deacon!”

Freddie steps forwards slowly, as if he were afraid to approach you. “Darling, Deaky is right. We really can’t accept these. Music is a part of you, one day you will want to play again, just not today.”

You scowl at Freddie, your eyes dark with pure anger. “You just don’t fucking get it do you?” You cry, your voice cracking. “None of you fucking get it!”

This time, Brian steps forwards, holding his hand out towards you, long fingers extended your way. “What don’t we get Y/N?”

  Taking a shaky breath in, you close your eyes and try to fight back the tears that had once again returned. ‘I will not cry. Not here, not in front of them.’ You think to yourself. “That was our thing, music, we did it together. You can’t understand what it’s like, you still have each other, you have your band still. I don’t! What have I got? A drummer, and a guitarist who never fucking shows up! Please, I just can’t have these things around me anymore. I never want to drum again.” You end in a whisper, and just as you do, the heavens open up, lightning filling the dark sky with white light, as thunder shakes the window panes of the apartment. Ironic really, it doesn’t rain for Bree’s funeral, but the day you end her dream of starting a rock band, a fucking monsoon hits.

Someone is trying to talk to you, but their words aren’t making it through, you’re lost in your own thoughts now. You’ve failed Bree, you know you have, all she ever wanted was to play music, whether you got famous or not she didn’t care, and she always thought you were an incredible percussionist.  But here you are, hanging up that dream like it was your coat at the end of the day. If you didn’t have Bree to encourage you any more, why should you ever drum again? The joy of drumming came from Bree, you would bounce ideas off each other all the time. She would start playing a groovy little riff, and you would join in, throwing suggestions in at different points until you had something amazing. But that could never happen again, a least not with Bree.

Strong arms wrap around you, and you collapse into them, sobbing loudly as you openly cry in front of Queen. There’s no stopping the tears now that the flood gates have opened, you could no longer hold back the tears you had fought against, and you fell into Brian’s chest as the grief filled tears flow freely from you now. In one swift motion, Brian sweeps his arm up under your knees and lifts you up, carrying you through his apartment and towards his bedroom. Someone walks ahead of him, pushing the door open, then swinging it closed behind you both. Gently, he places you down on the bed, before laying down beside you, keeping you enclosed in his tight embrace, as you sob against his chest.

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As much as he hated to admit it, Brian knew this moment would come, you were strong, that he knew for sure. But you could only be strong for so long, before something finally snapped, and he had just been waiting for the moment to come, though he secretly hoped it never would. The others seemed to be waiting just as he was, they knew you could only cover your pain with a smile for a short amount of time, and after seeing Roger break down numerous times, they knew you wouldn’t be too far behind. Brian held you tightly, stroking his hands along your back, attempting to sooth you as best he could, but without ever saying anything. What good are words in this situation?

He had been expecting this all week, but had never expected it to come about this way, the last thing he ever thought he would walk in to, was you giving away your drums and Bree’s bass. He knew it must’ve been a near impossible decision for you to make, and if it was what you truly wanted, then he would help you find a good home for your kit and Penny. But he worried that it was a heat of the moment thing. He wished you hadn’t turned him away when he offered to help you pack Bree’s things, perhaps if he had been there, he could’ve stopped things from turning out this way?  Maybe he would’ve been able to convince you that drumming was the best thing for you to do?

  Outside his room, he can hear Roger, Freddie and Deaky talking quietly, though it’s too faint for him to catch what they are discussing. Likely they are trying to figure out what to do with the drum kit which now took up the better part of the living room.  He turns his attention back to you, feeling your sobbing become more calm, with greater gaps between each cry. “I love you.” He whispers into your hair, pressing a kiss to your scalp, as he feels you slowly fall asleep against his chest. Leaning away carefully, he pulls the cover up over both of you, as he too drifts off to sleep, never letting you go.

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Waking up in Brian’s arms was not something you were unfamiliar with, however waking up with you both fully clothed, and tear stains on his shirt, that was something you were not used sto. Brian snores quietly, and you peel yourself away from his arms, pulling the blanket back over him as you stretch out your aching muscles You had cracked, it had finally happened, and honestly, you felt better for it. The rain continues to patter against the window, the sky now totally black, the street lights illusminating the wet road bellow. Moving silently around Brian’s room, you strip off your clothes from the day, tracking down a shirt, and sleep shorts in his dresser drawers, slipping them on, leaving your clothes in a heap on the floor at the foot of the bed. Brian mumbles in his sleep, before rolling over to lay on his stomach, his hair splayed across the pillows to conceal his face. You smile softly before making your way out of his room, and towards the kitchen. All the lights are off, leading you to the conclusion that Freddie and Deaky had left, with Roger either in his own room asleep, or perhaps having left with the others. Scanning the contents of the fridge, you find a cartoon of juice, pulling it out as you search for a clean glass.  With a cup of juice in hand, you look out the window in the kitchen, your gaze turning to the yard that was considered to be part of the apartment complex. At first glance, it appears to be empty, until the faint glow of a lighter alerts you to someone being out there. Roger’s out there, alone, in the rain. You’re not sure how you know that it’s Roger who’s out there, but something in the back of your mind is convinced that it is.

Making sure to grab your key, you make your way downstairs and into the yard, finding the blonde stood beneath a tree, which barely shielded him from the rain, a lit cigarette between his lips. “Hey, I didn’t think you would be awake for a while yet.”

You shrug, as you make way over to him, standing beneath the tree beside him. “I guess I’m not physically tired as much as mentally.”

Roger seems to contemplate your words for a few moments before nodding in understanding. “Same here, I think. My brain feels like it’s working on overdrive these days.”

You can’t help but laugh at that, the feeling all too familiar. “Trust me Rog, I know exactly what you mean.” Wordlessly, Roger holds out his pack of smokes to you, and you happily take one, before lighting up the end with his offered lighter. “I’m sorry about this afternoon, I know this is hard on you too.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. You did exactly what felt right to you. And look, at the end of the day, I lost my girlfriend, you lost your best friend. You’re hurting a lot more than I am, I’m sure of it.”

You take a deep breath in, inhaling the smoke of your cigarette as you think of Roger’s words. “Do you think it ever gets easier?”

At that, Roger laughs, a grin spreading over his thin lips. “I think we just learn how to cope a little bit better.”

“I suppose I don’t have a very good coping mechanism at the moment.”

“It can’t be any worse than mine.”

“Well let’s look at it this way Rog, up until today I refused to allow myself to cry, and kept everything bottled up and to myself.”

Roger takes one final drag of his smoke, before butting it out on the ground. “True, but mine is no better. Brian put a lock on the booze cabinet because I refuse to do anything other than drink when I think about Bree.”

You run a hand through your damp hair, sending droplets of rain onto the ground. “Well shit, sounds like we’re both as fucked up as each other.” You step further into the yard until your standing in the very centre, no longer protected from the rain. There’s no thought to your next move, as you fall backwards, laying like a starfish in the wet grass.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Roger calls, crossing his arm over his chest.

“I’m letting go Roger. I’m letting go of everything!”

Slowly, he makes his way over to you, settling down cross legged on the grass by your side. Both of you staring up at the sky. The clouds were beginning to clear now, leaving room for the stars to peak through. Even the rain was starting to subside. “What are you letting go of?”

“I’m letting go of the misery that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks. Letting go of feeling like I could’ve done something to change what happened. Letting go of wishing it was me instead of Bree. I- I’m letting go of Bree.”

From the kitchen window, Brian looks down at his best friend and girlfriend, smiling to himself as he watches the two of you in the rain. The temptation to go down and join you both nagged at the back of his brain, however he thought better of it. Roger needed you just as you needed him for the time being. So instead, he went about setting up a pot of tea for when you both decided to come back upstairs.

Read Chapter seven 

Reread chapters: One Two Three Four Five 

My Masterlist

[iicewitch]

☕ real boy

a playlist for @stevenrcgers​ link to playlist: here tracklist and favorite lyrics below

1. blood, sweat and tears - bts   Peaches and cream, sweeter than sweet Chocolate cheeks and chocolate wings But your wings are wings of the devil In front of your sweet is bitter bitter 2. brainchild - everything everything A good thing Now you think about it, don't you make it real? The bad thing, maybe it's a feeling I don't want to feel But love is all you need to know But love is all you need to know

3. dumb dumb - red velvet

Like a mannequin Everything is so awkward I should just act like I do normally But whenever I see you, I act so stupid Like my little brother’s robot Everything is so awkward What do I do? I think I’m broken I forgot even how to breathe 4. the zombie song - stephanie mabey And I'd try not to bite and infect you because I'd respect you too much And that's why I'd wait until we got married Oh, and our happiest days would be spent Picking off all your friends and they'd see A love this deep won't stay buried

5. real boy -  lola blanc Every time we touch your hands are colder, colder There's no beating coming from your wooden chest Frozen grin, a mannequin When I get closer I can see the strings there underneath your vest 6. who do you want to be ? - oingo boingo Who do you want to be today? Who do you want to be? I think I'll be a teddy boy, I think I'll be a hunk I think I'll be a tough guy and I think I'll be a punk I might just be a fashion star all dressed in frilly rags Or perhaps, I'll cross the other side and walk around in drag! 7. under my skin - jukebox the ghost I can fit two people under my skin Yeah, I can fit two people under my skin And I will prove it if you will listen You crawled up in there, you joined me within I can feel your heart beating under my skin And the beating of your heart is making me bleed from within 8. mr. capgras encounters a secondhand vanity: tulpamancer's prosopagnosia - will wood and the tapeworms Damn, I thought you’re not your imposter. You’re so sure you’re not gonna get caught! Dead in your own skin, but you didn’t choose what you were born in! And another man in your repertoire, ready in your head and fed upon your memoirs Still the same rules apply from the birthday to the mourning What you feel and what you do; are those things really you? And if not, then what is?  9. breaking out - the protomen If you can hear my voice outside these walls (If you can hear me) If you can hear me sending out this message tonight Then break the silence, send a signal back (If you can hear me) I'm coming, all I need is a little guiding light...

10. roaring 20s - panic at the disco Maybe I'm overjoyed, maybe I'm paranoid Designer me up in straight jackets My tell-tale heart's a hammer in my chest Cut me a silk-tied tourniquet This is my roaring, roaring 20's 11. evelyn evelyn - evelyn evelyn We grew up closer than most Closer than anything, closer than anything Shared our bed and wore the same clothes Talked about everything, spoke about so many things 12. looking glass - the birthday massacre A boyish notion of false emotion These words are spoken despite my love A fool's devotion was set in motion My eyes are open now

13. play dead - the birthday massacre Thinking hurts and thoughts don't rhyme To those of us who've never tried To find a face behind our lipstick smiles And as our pretty faces die Our broken hearts will wonder why The makeup just won't hide the scars of time 14. lets fall in love - mother mother There's a game in the world A little bit of cat and mouse With the boys and the girls And if I had to ante up I'd bet on the birds 'Cause they don't have to walk around With the boys and the girls 15. o my heart - mother mother And I pour my heart a new foundation But it don't set hard it just stays shaking And I scratch my name I scratch my name in But it don't set hard it gets mixed back in Oh my heart, it's a fish out of water  16. body - mother mother Take my teeth, tear through my cheeks And take the nose go and dispose Oh would you go dispose, just go dispose 'Cause I've grown tired of this body A cumbersome and heavy body 

17. touch up - mother mother I am a makeover queen A swan out of duckling Ugly duckling you're drowning In makeup (in makeup) My makeup (my makeup) Has washed off 18. roman holiday - nicki minaj Take your medication, Roman Take a short vacation, Roman, you'll be okay You need to know your station, Roman Some alterations on your clothes and your brain

19. replicant - they might be giants You've got his eyes Same exact smile All that he has All this will be yours  20. happy days - GHOST Oh, it’s painful My heart is quite a mouthful I’ll tear it out for you I’ll be the sacrifice for you Y’know, things could go exactly how you want it I’d be exactly how you want me Use what’s left of my soiled personality I’m all yours, I’ll do anything 21. girls on film - duran duran 'Cause the crowd all love pulling dolly by the hair By the hair And she wonders how she ever got here As she goes under again Girls on film (two minutes later) Girls on film Girls on film (got your picture) Girls on film  22. nobody - mitski And I know no one will save me I'm just asking for a kiss Give me one good movie kiss And I'll be alright Nobody, nobody, nobody 

23. TT - twice I feel like crying, I don’t feel like myself This isn’t like me at all I love you so much Think I’m all grown up now I’m free to make my own choices, but why Why can’t I have it my way The more I try to push you away The more I’m drawn and attracted to you baby 24. in every dream home a heartache - roxy music Your skin is like vinyl The perfect companion You float my new pool De luxe and delightful Inflatable doll My role is to serve you Disposable darling Can't throw you away now 25. the moss - cosmo sheldrake But have you heard the story of the rabbit in the moon? Or the cow that hopped the planets while straddling a spoon Or she, who leapt up mountains, while whistling up a tune And swapped her songs with swallows while riding on a broom 26. green - todrick hall Green! Is a way of life And the millions would kill to see their name up in the lights For the green is okay tonight But be careful what you wish Because you might get what you like 27. guy.exe - superfruit Oh I, wish I could synthesize a picture perfect guy Oh I, oh I Six feet tall and super strong, we'd always get along Alright, alright Oh, he'd pick me up at eight and not a minute late Cause I don't like to wait, no Kind and ain't afraid to cry or treat his momma right 28. the dismemberment song - blue da kid  Well once upon a time that's where the clock begins And right after the end Well, that's right where the plot thins And I've got no angel to keep me in line! So I'm taking your narrative and I'm making it mine! 29. me!me!me! - teddyloid I’ve worked hard for myself - What have you done for yourself? When you notice the scattered pieces of the mirror You’ll realize I wanted you to notice Is this still going on? Is this still happening? Even though I’d been waiting for you Even though I loved you 30. alone together - fall out boy My heart is like a stallion, they love it more when it's broken Do you wanna feel beautiful, do you wanna, yeah I'm outside the door, invite me in So we can go back and play pretend 31. get busy living or get busy dying - fall out boy This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters But we never stood a chance And I'm not sure if it matters If you are the shores, I am the waves begging for big moons I'm mailing letters to addresses in a ghost town  32. hi it’s me - ashnikko When I'm with you I have amnesia, I'm weaker than before My stupid brain thinks that I need you, I'm eager to hurt more My best friend thinks that I'm a dumbass My dumbass should be a little more cautious I slip up, I text you, I forget That you were so so disrespectful 33. i’m poppy - poppy Welcome to the new world, I'm your internet girl Open up and you'll see, everyone is happy I like your technology, can you put it on me? The future is so pretty, we're living in harmony 34. idola no circus - neru Come, let’s dance all night in our naked bodies We know, we know your true nature Again putting on a fake face, You’re just like a pierrot ! It’s time to put a mask, a mask On your unsociable faced 35. shine - casey lee williams But baby, it's time to make up your mind I think that tonight is when our stars align Honey, it's time to leave the doubt behind Take my hand 'cause you and I are gonna shine 36. one thing - casey lee williams I was nowhere, I had no one, I felt nothing Lost without a voice and on my own Then a candle's flame brought a brand new name But now you've stolen everything And I'm all alone 37. sweetest cure - hugo What the hell am I s'posed to be Choose a world over me Sitting pretty in my mess On the phone I can't confess Word's out somehow You're the sweetest cure I never got to tell you 38. bang bang bang bang - sohodolls Teacher says that I've been naughty I must learn to concentrate But the girls they pull my hair And with the boys I can't relate Daddy says I'm good for nothing Mama says that it's from him Manic sister thinks I'm cracking Brother says it's in my genes 39. helpless - phillipa soo One week later I'm writin' a letter nightly Now my life gets better Every letter that you write me I'm helpless! He's mine, that boy is mine! Look into your eyes And the sky's the limit, I'm Helpless! Helpless! Down for the count, and I'm drownin' in 'em 40. lifeboat - laurence o’ keefe Everyone's pushing Everyone's fighting Storms are approaching There's nowhere to hide If I say the wrong thing Or I wear the wrong outfit They'll throw me right over the side 41. chase the morning - sarah brightman In you is a world of promise We have both been kept in bondage But you can learn from all my failures Let your life be your dream Integrity, honesty, its too late for me Don't look back till your free to chase the morning 42. no reason - leslie kritzer Everything, everything happens for a reason Be a beacon of light in the world Put a little "alright" in the world There are spiritual guides above Look up and see 'em Perception is reality Just listen to the melody the universe sings 'Cause everything, everything happens for a reason 43. i love play rehearsal - stephanie hsu I love play rehearsal 'Cause you are equiped with directions and text Life is easy in rehearsal You follow a script so you know what comes next Anywho, the point that I'm getting to Is sometimes life can't work out in the way It works out in the play 44. your song - elton john And you can tell everybody this is your song It may be quite simple but now that it's done I hope you don't mind I hope you don't mind That I put down in words How wonderful life is while you're in the world 45. the party goes with you - lindsay mendez And when we're dancing nose to nose Darling do you suppose, darling do you suppose This party could be just us two, and I your wife? Oh, oh, the gayest party, sad but true It's true The party goes with you The party goes with you 46. half jack - dresden dolls It's half biology and half corrective surgery gone wrong You'll notice something funny if you hang around here for too Long ago in some black hole before they had these pills to take it back I'm half Jill and half Jack 47. the secret - pierces Got a secret Can you keep it? Swear, this one you'll save Better lock it in your pocket Takin' this one to the grave If I show you, then I know you Won't tell what I said 'Cause two can keep a secret If one of them is dead 48.  connect - claris My heart awakes in order to depict the future Even if I come to a halt on a tough road The beautiful blue sky always waits for me Therefore I'm not afraid I won't be disheartened anymore no matter what happens 49. simple and clean - hikaru utada Hold me, whatever lies beyond this morning Is a little later on Regardless of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at all Nothing's like before 50. mountains - message to bears  And we could run away Before the light of day You know we always could The mountains say, the mountains say And we could run away Before the light of day You know we always could The mountains say, the mountains say

[songficsbyrissi]

imma just tell you to do 1 thru 80. yep the whole list lol

Damn anon 😭🥴 that’s a lot but fuck it

what’s your favourite memory?

Going to ATL and visiting the trap museum. Ended the night with some Krab Queenz! I wanna go back 🥺

what song(s) describe your mood right now?

Bored in the house and I’m in the house bored by some dude on TikTok (I don’t use TikTok but I know that’s from TikTok)

tea or coffee?

Tea! Green tea to be exact

sunsets or sunrises?

Both are pretty but imma go with sunrises

vanilla, chocolate or strawberry?

Are we talking ice cream or a man? Cuz I think it’s obvious I love chocolate men 😛😛😛

rain or sun?

🌞

is your first language english? if not, what is it?

Yes it is.

do you like your ice crushed or in big blocks?

Big blocks!

if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My face. Lol I don’t like my face. I wish I was cuter and my skin wasn’t acne prone 😭

who are you closest to, your father or mother?

Im not really close to either tbh. We don’t have a bad relationship but I’m not close to either of them. I got the same bond with both of them

what time period would you like to live in other than your own?

The time period where I’m rich.

is it hot or cold right now?

Hot 🥵

what is your accent?

I don’t think I really have one lol. Then again no one thinks they have one. I would say Boston but I don’t have the stereotypical one y’all think about. White Bostonians have that and I’m full nigga.

has anyone ever saved you from a situation? if so, what happened?

I was on verge of dying when I was a infant and my grandma saved me. Gotta love those island remedies.

who did you last hug?

I have no clue because I am not really a hugger 😂

who are your top 5 fictional characters?

In no order whatsoever:

1. Any of the characters from Brooklyn Nine Nine. (I love that show and every character is hilarious

2. Sakura from the anime Naruto (shorty gets way too much hate for no reason and I hate it)

3. Izuku/Deku from My Hero Academia (he’s so adorable)

4. Todoroki from my hero academia

5. Jay from Big Mouth

how have you changed in the past year or two?

I’m more educated, more understanding, and acknowledging I’m not a bad person but I’m not a perfect person. I got flaws but I’m not toxic

biggest regret(s)?

I don’t like regret things cuz I’d like to believe everything happens for a reason but what I do regret is probably not going away for college. I mean on the bright side I saved a shit load of money but that freedom would’ve been amazing 😢

biggest fear(s)?

Snakes, Heights, Republicans holding a vast majority in Congress, and ending up unhappy in life.

is your room messy or clean?

Tbh it’s messy right now but it’s not my fault 😭 I share a room.

have you ever had a near death experience?

Besides what happened when I was an infant, nah.

favourite scent?

Vanilla Cake or Birthday cake. I love bakery scents to smell. As for the scents to wear, it can be anything but it gotta be sweet and pleasing to the nose.

would you survive a zombie apocalypse?

Yep cuz imma stay my black ass home and board up the windows.

what lyric(s) do you love?

“If I fall, dust it off and regain my self

Fuck 'em all, they don't know all the pain I felt” - J.Cole

what do you like about yourself?

My humor.

what would you change about yourself?

A lot. I rather not go into detail 😭

do you like your handwriting?

Yeah I think it’s cute. Could be better.

how do you like to style your hair?

I switch up my hair so many times. I like it down with a side part.

what time is it?

At the time I’m at this question, it is 10:07 PM

what time did you wake up today?

12:30ish

what are your bad habits?

Not putting my clothes in a hanger after coming home 😭

what was your first fandom?

I’ve been in fandoms before I even knew what they were but my first tumblr was Chrae.

burger or pizza?

I love pizza but I be craving burgers more.

do you have any unusual talents?

I don’t think so. I mean I can roll my tongue in that clover shape but that’s it lol

when did you last feel infinite?

I’m not sure what this means 😂

when did you last cry?

A while back, by myself at 2 AM.

who was the latest person to see you cry?

No one. I don’t like crying in front of people.

best movie?

A Goofy Movie

best tv series?

Brooklyn Nine Nine.

have you ever wrote fanfiction?

Lol this is fanfiction so yeah

are you happy?

Nope

do you really relate to your zodiac?

Yeah. I’m an ♈️ and I match some of the traits

what year was you born in?

1998 🙈

do you often find yourself jealous?

Nope

are you a fan of 80′s music?

If it’s not MJ, then I ain’t listening to it.

what has been your most vivid nightmare?

One where my dad and brother died. It was after Kobe and Gigi’s death so it made sense, kinda.

what has been your most vivid dream?

Me getting rawed in my school library. Lowkey mad it wasn’t real.

have you ever had your first kiss?

No 😭 I’m pathetic, I know.

what has been your most intimate moment?

N/A

do you usually start conversations?

Only if I have to.

are you superstitious?

I don’t believe in superstitions but I don’t take chances with them either. It’s weird.

what do you believe in most, ghosts or aliens?

Ghosts.

what song(s) do you hate?

I fucking hate “I’m a gummy bear” song and that’s my brother’s fault

turn ons?

I have a lot. A nice smile, funny, caring, big dick, sweet, tall, smelling good, good hygiene etc.

turn offs?

The exact opposite of what I listed. To add onto that, is being mean/rude for no reason.

are you comfortable with talking about your flaws?

A little bit.

what are your otp’s?

Delena, Brucas, Sasusaku, Izuocha, etc.

do you have any bizarre experiences?

Not that I can think of.

do you have a night/morning routine?

Just a skin routine

do you have a bittersweet memory?

Any memories with people that are not in my life anymore. We had some good times but I don’t miss them. Bittersweet af.

are there any friends that you miss?

Nope. Stay gone, bitch.

do you have an enemy?

No.

are you a night owl or an early bird?

Night owl but I’m a early bird when I need to be.

what is your dream job?

Being my own boss.

if you had to pick a fictional universe to live in forever, which one would you pick and why?

My Hero Academia because chances are I’ll have a quirk which is dope.

do you know any form of self-defence?

Kinda

favourite planet?

Uranus because I’m childish af 😂😂😂

do you consider yourself to be more masculine, feminine or a mixture?

A mixture

do you rely on others or do others rely on you?

Rely on me. I hate relying on others.

what do you think happens once someone dies?

Heaven or Hell.

are you a leader?

Ehhh

what question do you hate answering?

“Is that your real hair?”

do you believe in guardian angels?

Ehhh maybe. Idk

can you rap?

Songs that were already made? Sure

how do you stay warm?

A blanket

do you want to be in a relationship?

Yes sir.

how was your day?

Aight.

are there any fictional universes you would not want to be in?

Family Guy.

what fictional character do you relate to the most?

Squidward

who hurt you last?

My bitchass cousin. Fuck that bitch and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Yay!!! I did it lol

[hiiggsmonaghan]

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 910 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 1920 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 2930 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 3940 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 4950 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 5960 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 6970 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 7980 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 8990 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99

Are you fuckin’ kidding me--?

Alright, I’ll answer them ALL. 

1. Name: Higgs Monaghan Silver/Silvio

2. Nationality: Canadian/Acadian

3. Age: 22

4. Birthday: July 19th 

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign): Cancer

6. Gender: cis male

7. Sexuality: Gay

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself):  This will have to wait until a special reveal. (Future cosplay things.)

9. What do you/did you study?: ... Does Egyptian history count?

10. What's your current job like?/What job would you like to have?: [Nervous laughter] I have no idea what I’d like to do for a job. 

-

11. Your birth order: First child

12. How many siblings do you have?: 1 “real” sibling, but so many siblings by bond.

13. Do you have good relations with your family?: Biological family? Absolutely not. Except for two of my cousins. They are cool.

14. How many friends do you have?: Too many that it’s obnoxious. [Just kidding, I appreciate you all.]

15. Your relationship status: Taken/Engaged

16. What do you look for in a SO?: Someone who can kick my ass. [Who can handle my anger outbursts]

17. Do you have a crush?: No. 

18. When did you have your first kiss?: When I was 14. It was forced and was a terrible experience. 

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?: Meaningful ones, funny enough.

20. What are your deal breakers?: Overly clingy, too loud, not respectful of my music choices

-

21. How was your day?: Cold. Snowstorm happened today.

22. Favourite food & drink: Pizzas/cheeseburgers || Strawberry slushie with tapioca pearls/orange juice

23. What position do you sleep in?: Fetal position. [Hahahah... ha.]

24. What was your last dream about?: Cannot remember.

25. Your fears: The ocean [drowning], deep forests.. uhh... There are others but I cannot think of it at the moment

26. Your dreams: To be on my goddamn motorcycle, livin’ a good life without my mental illness in the way.

27. Your goals: See above.

28. Any pets?: Not yet! Planin’ to get a black cat soon!

29. What are your hobbies?: Music and readin’

30. Any cool places in your area?: Pfft, no. It’s so fuckin’ boring here.

31. What was your last awkward situation?: I was at Tim Horton’s and there was a baby cryin’ behind me so I looked over at it and played... peek-a-boo with them. It was...weird. But at least the baby shut up. The mother didn’t do shit to make the baby stop cryin’ so.. Great Parenting.

32. What is your last regret?: Well too many to really talk about but I’ll go with the funny route and my last regret was not goin’ to Burger King yesterday and eatin’ salad instead of a burger. 

33. Language/s you can speak: English

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.): Not really. It’s all just whatever for me.

35. Have any quirks?: I bite my nails often... I pretend to conduct music while it is playing... uh...???

36. Your pet peeves: Everything.

37. Ideal vacation: Anywhere away from North America.

38. Any scars?: Many. 

39. What does your last text message say?: “Nah”

40. Last 5 things from your search history: Twitter, Vargskelethor’s twitch, Cloud Strife, YouTube, FF7 remake release date

41. What's your [device] background?: RK900 from Detroit Become Human

42. What do you daydream about?: Usually having super strength and throwing people whom bother me across the world or just... punchin’ them. 

43. Describe your dream home: A  simple house, really. Nothin’ too fancy. Just the idea of havin’ my own house? Even if it isn’t that big or anythin’... That is a dream for me. Oh, and I want it painted black. Hah.

44. What's your religion/Your thought about religion: I’d say I’m atheist but... I do believe in God. I AM God. :)

45. Your personality type:  ISTP-T

46. The most dangerous thing you've done: [Looks at the list of dangerous things I have done] ... There are too many

47. Are you happy with your current life?: At the moment? Yeah. There are things I am still angry about but it’s... fine.

48. Some things you've tried in your life: Smoking. Drawing. Singing. Writing. Playing the guitar. ???

-

49. What does your wardrobe consist of?: Black and reds. 

50. Favourite colour to wear?: Black.

51. How would you describe your style?: Goth/punk

52. Are you happy with your current looks?: Eh.. Not really but it’s all I got.

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?: Grow. Damn. Facial. Hair. Holy FUCK.

54. Any tattoos or piercings?: Snake bites. But I took one out so only one lip piercing now. And tattoos? Soon. Very soon. [Gonna be Higgs’ themed, baby.]

55. Do you get complimented often?: No and when I do I make it Stop. I hate it. Never compliment me. 

56. Favourite aesthetic?: Black/gold aesthetics as of late.

57. A popular trend that you dislike: Everything. I hate them all.

- [FINALLY THE ONES I WANTED, JESUS CHRIST]

58. Songs you're currently obsessed with?:  Allesfresser by LINDEMANN 

It’s a great song to listen to for me because I just punch my punching bag to this song. Makes my anger just... go away. It’s fuckin’ nice.

59. Song you normally wouldn't admit you like: .... Let’s Dance by David Bowie

I am a new fan of David Bowie. It just literally started in July or late June. I’m the typical metal head but for some reason Bowie just caught my ear? I dunno, man.

60. Favourite genre?: METAL. Well, Power Metal. I love all sorts of metal except for like.. most death metal/black metal. It is too much for me sometimes. But yeah, if yall are into metal... I’m all ears. I love talkin’ about metal.

61. Favourite artist/band/genre?: Well I already spoke about my favorite genre. For favorite bands? God... Uh.. I have a list here of favorite bands/musicians. Check it out if you’re interested. 

62. Hated popular songs/artists?: Honestly? I’m gonna be one of those guys and say pretty much everything on the radio these days. I don’t like pop/rap and all the most popular stuff. Turning the radio on is ear torture these days. Except for the rock channel, that one is okay most of the time.

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5:

1 - System of a Down’s Chop Suey in the Style of Ghost by Ten Second Songs

This guy is simply AMAZING. If yall haven’t already, you NEED to check out his channel. He is wicked talented and he has different styles for different songs. Like for example, Metallica’s Enter Sandman in the style of David Bowie. It’s amazing. 

Check him out. His YouTube is Ten Second Songs.

2 - City by Hollywood Undead

This one just gives me my inner Higgs’ vibes. That is really all I can say.

3 - Mein Teil by Rammstein

4 - Cars by Fear Factory

5 -  龍が如く極 - Turning Point [From Yakuza Kiwami]

Yeah, hi. Yakuza fan here. Do I have to say any more? 

64. Can you sing or play any instruments?: I can kind of sing, [very badly, mind you] and sort of play the guitar. I’m tryin’ to learn Come as You Are by Nirvana at the moment... but that’s about it

65. Do you like karaoke?: 

.... Yes. My inner Nishiki in me just cannot lie about this.

66. Own any albums?: Absolutely. I am a firm believer in albums rather than just buying them digitally. I love having an actual copy in my hands rather just on the computer. 

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations?: Not really. I only listen to the rock station.

-

68. Favourite movie/series?: Star Wars.

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc: Uhhh... I don’t know

70. Your fictional crush/es: Sam Fuckin’ Porter Bridges, General Hux, RK900...

71. Which fictional character is you?: [Chuckles nervously] 

Higgs Monaghan-- 

Too many to write down. I’ll just pass myself the trouble.

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so: Eh not really. Only like.. Gavin/RK900 [Reed900] and General Hux/Kylo Ren [Kylux/Huxlo]

73. Favourite greek god?: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh? I don’t know?

74. A legend from where you live that you like: None.

75. Do you like art? What's your favourite work or artist?: I’m gonna be cheesy and say all of my friends because it’s true. I love my friends art.

76. Can you share your other social media?: Yeah sure. My twitter is @hiiggsmonaghan

77. Favourite youtubers?: Markiplier, Jacksepticeye... Streamers: Vargskelethor and Vinesauce

78. Favourite platform?: Tumblr and Twitter

79. How much time do you spend on the internet?: .. Too long

80. What video games have you played? Which one's your favourite?: Ones I have PLAYED that are my favorite: Pokemon, Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy XV, Yakuza 0/Kiwami. 

I also have a lot a games I love that I just watched. Like a lot of Legend of Zelda games and of course Death Stranding!

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts): Anything really by William Blake. I guess that really isn’t a “book” but.. all I really read are poems, Shakespearean plays and Egyptian history books.

82. Do you play board/card games?: No

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema?: No

84. Favourite holiday: Halloween

85. Are you into dramas?: Not really.

-

86. Would you use death note, if you had one?: ABSOLUTELY. And I do have one. Well... a replica. Not the real one of course.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?: Get rid of the racists, rapists, pedos and homo/trans phobes. The world would just be more pleasant to live in, yeah?

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse?: Probably. Because I stay inside a lot anyway.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be?: A demon because I am that fuckin’ edgy.

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death?: VOID OUT, BITCH. Uh, I don’t know. 

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?: I did change my name so I am happy with it. 

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week?: Uh.. No one. Can that be an option?

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo: The devil smiling one I guess?

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true

1. I am in a poly relationship while I am also engaged.

2. I have a knife collection

3.I still used an mp3 instead of using my phone for music

-

95. Cold or hot?: ... Cold because you can get warm with blankets and sweaters while if you are hot, it’s damn impossible to not be hot.

96. Be a hero or be a villain?: Hero in my eyes, but to all of you I’m the villain for some DAMN reason.

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?: Sing I guess. Imagine singing in metal. Holy SHIT

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time?: CONTROLLING TIME.

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?: Immune to everything. I’m sick of being sick.

====

And there you have it. I’m... fuckin’ DONE. This took literal HOURS, ANON. I hope yall read through this.

[janiedean]

After joining tumblr, my dream of becoming a published writer is forever broken and ruined. It may be drastic but I cannot imagine a future in which I'm a happy writer, knowing that what a large amount of people think is that you can't write about a gay character if you're not gay yourself, you cannot have a poc character if you're not poc yourself etc. It's frustrating and sad. That's what tumblr taught, along with simultaneously complaining all the day about the lack of rep

anon, let me tell you something first and foremost: tumblr is not a good audience when it comes to original fiction and if that’s what you want to do, delete tumblr from your perspectives.

now, I’ll go and say a lot of unpopular things before addressing your concerns, but here we go:

people on tumblr don’t read. or better: either they read fanfic which then they decide to consider the same thing as published writing, and like... while there’s a lot of fic that’s better than some published writing technically, the fact that they say it about classics or stuff they’re supposed to study in school shows that they have no idea of the basic difference in between the two media... or they read YA that gets hailed as the Next Best Thing In Literature when at most it’s a good YA and at worst it’s mediocre stuff that looks revolutionary because they haven’t read the fifteen other things that YA has taken inspiration from. at most they read harry potter when they were kids and never moved on from it, as showed by the fact that it’s 2019 and I still have to see people arguing about sn/ape being BAD OR GOOD when he’s the standard gray archetype, and if you can only think of sn/ape when you think about a gray character and you still haven’t made sense of his moralities or lack thereof, then you haven’t read anything else; (never mind that once I read writing advice like SORT YOUR CHARACTERS INTO HOGWARTS HOUSES LIKE FFS SOME OF US HAVEN’T READ HP THAT’S NOT A UNIVERSAL ADVICE FOR CREATING A CHARACTER’S BACKGROUND)

as people on tumblr don’t read, their understanding of how you write or anything else related to the craft is pretty much useless - like, the only thing each single writing manual agrees on is that if you want to be a writer you have to read a lot, because how are you going to deconstruct tropes (to say one) if you don’t know how those tropes work? or how are you going to play into them if you don’t know how they work regardless? I can’t write a tolkien deconstruction if I haven’t read all of tolkien’s writings back to back ten times at least, I can’t write a good novel about vietnam veterans in the early eighties if I don’t read all the history books on the topic I can find and at least ten tomes about how war-related ptsd in veterans works and possibly a lot of books written by vets themselves. I can’t write a stephen king deconstruction if I haven’t read stephen king back to back ten times either. which shows they think original novels are like fanfic - like, I personally have researched the shit out of things for fanfic, but I wouldn’t ask anyone to do it for a thing they do for free. like, if I see badly researched italian reinassance AU fic I won’t gaf if the author just wrote it based on the anglosaxon tv shows about the borgias around because I can’t expect them to read ten books about the topic to write a thing they don’t get paid for and that just people in fandom most likely will touch, but if it’s a published author that gets paid for it I’ll expect that at least they’ll do some research if they want to write stuff somewhat realistically. people on tumblr think that writing a novel requires the same effort as fanfic, as in, not much when it comes to background work, which is ridiculous, because that’s the difference - with fanfic, unless I write a detailed AU or smth, the author already did that work for me. I just have to expand on it and trying to understand the characters. like, it’s nowhere near the same thing;

which means that people have gone with this concept that ‘you can’t write X if you’re not X’, which is honestly ridiculous and counter-productive because it shoots down any chance that you, as an author, might actually understand what people who aren’t from your background feel like. also, I personally think that if you want to do that and you want to be good at it you need to a) find a way to relate to your characters that goes beyond your differences, b) talk to people from the category you don’t belong to. now, if I had to write a 50k short romance novel about two guys falling for each other at a record shop without too much drama happening, I’d probably just write it myself, some people who are actually guys into guys, ask them to read it, tell me if I fucked it up, get them to explain me how I fucked it up and run it by them until I’m done, but admittedly I don’t need research to find out how people run a record shop. if I had to write a story set in europe but idk there’s a zombie plague and one of the protagonists is a black american tourist I’d go ask someone who is black and american and possibly from the area I decided that person is from to give me background info on how I could write this person etc. and then run it by them after I’m done. if another of the protagonists is idk polish (because there’s not many polish people in mainstream european fiction outside of polish authors), I’d find a polish person to do the same thing and run it by them etc., because I’m not a black american nor a polish person but I still want to write those characters etc. but I mean, let’s say it’s the zombie apocalypse - can I make sure people connect with both of them because they’re surrounded by zombies and as all human beings in existence they don’t want to die? most likely I can. meanwhile I’ll have learned a lot of things about both categories because I talked to people belonging to them;

or, let’s say I want to write some story with a large cast where I decide that for the purposes of it straight character falls for a trans character and it ends well because fuck that I want people to be happy. I’m not trans, but I do know people who are. I’ll definitely talk to them running stuff and ask if thing X is offensive or not etc. because of course I’m not so I can’t know for sure, maybe I’ll stick with the straight POV or maybe not but I’ll definitely run it by them to make sure the thing is actually well-planned/not in poor taste, and meanwhile I’ll have learned a lot about the topic that I might not have known before, which is good because it means I know more about experiences I don’t have which is, guess what, how the entire point of writing stories is. you want people to empathize and feel for characters that might be not the same as them, that’s exactly your damned job, but if you don’t do it yourself first how do you assume others will?

all these people who think you can’t write a gay character if you’re not gay are the same people who think that if you’re a straight woman you can’t write about two men being in love/fucking but you should be able to do it about f/f pairings because since you’re a woman then you have to guess how that works out of that, which shows that they have no idea of how anything works - like I argued with half of tumblr on this topic so whatever, but as a straight woman I think I have more aesthetic tastes in common with a gay man since we both want to fuck men and we both are familiar with handling that equipment, so I’d find it easier to write about that rather than about the contrary as I don’t generally find women attractive in that sense except for like two very specific people who are not a very common aesthetic in general. but like, assuming that in virtue of being a woman then you have to know how it feels to be attracted to women while you can’t possibly do 2+2 about how gay men are into each other when technically you’re into men yourself shows exactly how these people have No Idea Whatsoever of how attraction works, never mind how empathizing with someone else works, never mind of how writing things with research behind it goes;

also, assuming that if you’re X then you can’t understand Y is extremely damaging because it means you can never understand other people’s struggles and that’s......... worrying? I mean, it’s an incredibly dangerous (and calvinist) position to say that if someone is X and so doesn’t know how it feels to have a specific kind of issue then they can’t get it not even intellectually. idk, I’m straight so I can’t possibly understand or relate to why would lgbt+ people want to marry and adopt kids/have their children recognized/have the same rights as I do? are we serious? so if idk I wanted to try and change some bigot’s mind about it when I see that they’re just parroting bullshit and they haven’t thought about it I shouldn’t even try because they’re a bigot and they’ll never understand or change their mind? so people who used to be bigots, then found out their kids or their kids’s friends were lgbt+, listened to them, realized they were bigots and are now allies/supporters couldn’t have done that because at some point they used to be bigots? how the hell do you want people to change or to be an activist or change the world if you don’t believe that people can change themselves or worse that you don’t believe that people coming from any background can’t understand people coming from another background? that’s not how it works. I mean guys ffs I read a bunch of nonfiction lately about endemic poverty in the center of the US out of personal interest and I’m as far from the US and any of those situations as it goes (I’m not a veteran, I never was not taught to read and write even if I finished high school, I never lost 90% of what I had after getting sick, I never needed to hop on a train illegally to go places, I never had to sell my own plasma to buy lunch, I never needed to live in a tent when I was going to middle school after my parents had to move to a totally different state and I never had to go live in a trailer after my house was sold by a bank before I couldn’t pay off my loan, I don’t have a five year old child that won’t be insured because she was born with a pre-existing medical condition), and like... I cried while reading some of them? because I could envision it and I felt like the system failed them and I hate reading about people being failed by a system that should support them, and I swear I’m not a US person who comes from that background whatsoever. I could probably write you a full novel about how immigrants in Italy have it like shit whether they’re legal or not because I worked in the field for two years and one of my oldest friends has immigrant parents and she was born here and she can’t use her ID to travel in europe only because she still doesn’t have a citizenship and she’s been waiting for years to get it. I’m not an immigrant in italy but I’ve known enough, seen enough and heard enough from them that I could most likely do it and it wouldn’t be badly researched. like, you can’t tell people to not tell stories if they want to do it with respect and not wanting to make it about themselves only. that’s bad writing. but if you care about the people you’re giving rep to then you should try imvho;

now: I suppose that you’re belonging to categories that are Not Minorities given how the ask is worded. (same as me more or less unless you consider atheists a minority but nvm that.) there’s a lot of writers around that are Not Minorities and most get published more than people who are actually minorities. people saying that you can’t write X if you’re not X and X = minority are pretty much telling you that you shouldn’t use your spotlight to give people rep when you could and you could do it reasonably well if you do your research and talk to those minorities. so they’re basically going against everyone’s interests because you could learn things and become a better person and make sure your readers empathize with your characters and more rep is always good esp. if well-done. I personally think that people should write about what they want - there’s topics I wouldn’t feel comfortable touching because idk if I could do that well and things I really wouldn’t want to write about so I most likely never will -, but that they should also go for what they want if it’s what they believe they can do. so if you feel like you want to write gay characters or whatever go for it and then find yourself a sensitivity reader or ten before you send your book around instead of worrying about what kids on tumblr who are still arguing about snape’s morality and think that writing the divine comedy is the same as self-insert fanfic think, because they will never create shit for anyone, you might. and you’ll have automatically done more than people who complain about everything but wouldn’t produce one single piece of fiction themselves and wouldn’t most likely waste ten minutes of their life researching the fiction they want to write.

tldr: if you want to write professionally, influence people and give the world good stories, don’t give a fuck about what tumblr says because it’s people who most likely will never read your books anyway unless you want to write the next YA saga that has the same six archetypes of characters in which then the only slightly problematic white cishet dude will be without further ado compared to sn/ape and everyone is going to get sorted into hogwarts houses and people will fight about that rather than giving a damn about whatever message you wanted to pass. don’t give a damn about tumblr and do your thing anon, no one deserves to have any perspective ruined because of this hellsite’s opinions on anything. ;) 

[nighttimepixels]

on deltarune

Okay, holy hell, I can’t start without saying that, quite frankly:

I loved it.

The music, the visuals, the new characters, the evolution of the battle style - it still retained so much of what I loved about Undertale, yet pushed further/evolved to suit this game.

I was nervous, admittedly, at the first battle - honestly, I’ve never liked team management RPGs too much because so often they get tedious. This, though? It was the perfect balance, and with the shifting team dynamic throughout the game, it really enhanced the story and added to it, rather than being a tedious distracting!

I also have to immediately say how much I loved the Dark World. The designs, the music, the uniqueness of the characters - seriously, Toby Fox did an incredible thing. This doesn’t feel like The Underground 2.0 - this feels like a different place, with beings that are different.... yet their attitudes and interactions still have that freaking charm and depth (even in minor NPCs) that I love about his style of storytelling.

Also, Ralsei is fluffiest best boi, I’m weeping.

Okay - I’m going to save the majority of my gushing over the team & team dynamic in the Dark World for another separate post, because given how much everyone is freaking out, i want to jump right into the meat of it:

Thoughts & Theories

First off... Do I think that this is Undertale 2: the Sequel?

No... but, also, kind of.

I do not think that Deltarune is in any way a direct sequel to Undertale. I especially strongly feel that it’s not an accurate take away to say this is ‘erasing the canon of Undertale’ or ‘destroying the characters/messing with what I love about them’.

I absolutely believe that this is, very literally, an alternate universe to the one we know and love in Undertale. The evidence is everywhere, especially once we return from the Dark World. The characters are nearly all there (and then some), and all the familiar ones carry the same personality and traits that make up the core of them, but the relationships, the context they’ve lived is different. This makes them different people in many ways- hell, with how widely accepted AUs became for the fandom, this should be nothing unfamiliar - but I think a lot of people are wildly thrown off by the fact that Toby Goddamn He Sure Did That Fox legitimately made AUs canon with this game.

Hell, the world of Deltarune seems to even give us the detail that The War (between humans and monsters) never happened here! There’s no hints of it - while the town seems to be almost entirely monsters but for Kris (presumably adopted), there’s no mention of some past sealed in the Underground (or the relationships/bond formed from such an experience), and frankly it doesn’t seem like there’s animosity between monsters and humans, either.

So if it’s not a Sequel™, what is it?

Deltarune is exploring a new theme, using familiar characters, a familiar setup, which in my mind makes it all the more powerful-

Namely, I believe Deltarune is taking two main characters/’entities’ from Undertale as it’s core focus-

‘Chara’ and Gaster.

Why do I think ‘Chara’? (and why the quotes?)

This, from the end of a No-Mercy Route:

and once you select ‘Erase’:

(see too, the fact that if you do a full Pacifist ending after a No-Mercy run, the post-credits include ‘you’ waking up in the middle of the night, and the ‘Chara’ face and familiar red glint occurring.)

Deltarune is a natural ‘evolution’, a follow-up to this specific moment, this concept.

Especially, especially, I note the phrasing ‘this pointless’ world’-

because a major theme of Deltarune (Chapter 1) is the idea that your choices have little impact on the world.

This is in direct juxtaposition to Undertale’s them of ‘choices matter’ - hell, in Deltarune, the ending is damn near the same in the Dark World even if you fight every monster - you can’t even kill any of them, because they run away, scared of you.

So, Deltarune’s theme - so far, your choices... don’t matter.

I’m not here to conjecture without proof - the fact is, this is Chapter 1, and we just don’t have all the details, not even close. We don’t know Kris’ origin (adopted, almost certainly, but how/why? from where, when there seems to be no other human in this town? are monsters largely separated from humans, or is this town just a case of a concentration in population?); we don’t know Gaster’s role (I’ll get to him shortly); we don’t know if the Dark World (and Lightners) are something even whispered about in legend in the world we came from.

(That said, I don’t stand by the interpretation of ‘all that being just a dream’ situation, but again, I’d rather have more info from the next Chapter before I try and conjecture there.)

We see in the beginning of the game something that the weight of doesn’t really hit hard until after it all- Kris, when facing the mirror and checking it, gets the flavor text ‘It’s just you.’

Naturally, at first playthrough, this largely just seems like a callback to the mirror text in Undertale, and a minor insight into Kris’ personal self-value - with the ‘just’ seeming a little sadly self-deprecating.

But after you’ve seen the post-credits-

Suddenly, that feels more like tired relief.

I don’t want to say for sure that Kris is ‘haunted’ or anything like that, but Kris is definitely not just Kris. The post-credits confirm that without a doubt. Suddenly, they lurch out of their bed - not moving normally, as if something else is... piloting them, for lack of a better term - they look like a freaking zombie, at best... and then they rip their soul out of their body and slam it into a cage. The next moment, we get the chilling red-glint and distinctive ‘Chara’ like expression.

I say this tentatively, but my guess is that Kris, being adopted (though certainly at a young age, given the text about Kris growing up with Asriel) came from a bad situation. Again, avoiding too much conjecture in this post, but there’s a lot of signs that point towards that - and I mean, the symbolism of ‘separating yourself from your heart/emotions’ after something traumatic...? The emptiness of Kris’ side of the room, the way that Kris doesn’t fight back in the beginning against Susie, the emotional distance... Seeming, based on interactions with others, like Kris has been largely reticent or at least distant from others more and more, with the exception of big bro Asriel? That’s a lot of red flags, in my mind-

But it’s more than just having issues from whatever happened in their past (and presumably to their birth parents...), it’s also that either because of or in relation to that, ‘Chara’ has become a part of them, and, apparently, takes over at times. That red wagon, that cage... that’s not new. It’s rusty, there are stains nearby seemingly from it/what it held-

This is why I keep putting ‘Chara’ in quotes. It’s moreover a name for the entity of hate/no mercy that you face at the end of the game, not so much the actual Fallen Child from Undertale.

We don’t know what’s been happening with that, we don’t know how much or how often ‘Chara’ has control - but they’re there, and Kris knows it.

This is what so strongly ties together that theme of choices don’t matter - because that seems to be what Kris feels.

Additionally, on the note of Gaster:

No, we haven’t ‘seen’ him yet, or received.... direct confirmation. But Toby Fox, despite being the greatest troll with the best payoff to have ever lived, doesn’t do things lightly. Hell, despite the overwhelming popularity of Undertale, he’s only ever done a handful of proper interviews, and rarely gives concrete details about anything - if he doesn’t want to imply or say something, he won’t.

But we know for certain that he never does things lightly, and the tweets leading up to Deltarune’s release were all in the style of the ‘Missing Entry’, the DARKER YET DARKER entry - ie, the Gaster entry. Coming from a background of writing analysis and style analysis, this matches to a T (though seriously, you don’t need any kind of background to notice that...) - and furthermore, matches the ‘character creation’ start of Deltarune.

Gaster, wherever, whatever he is, is likely ‘viewing’ all this from his position smeared across space-time... everywhere and nowhere at once. He’s positioned as the narrator in an overarching since - his seems to be the ‘voice’ speaking to you when you game-over, his is what you see in the beginning... I’d bet we’re going to be seeing a lot more, though almost certainly in unexpected ways, in future chapters.

Wrapping up-

There’s so much up in the air, but I feel certain about that much based on all the evidence so far. The fact that a game of this length came out of the blue when only some of us even dared to hope for a small demo from the Gaster Tweets on Oct. 30th... holy shit.

Some people seem to have mixed feelings, but seriously - Toby Fox released a 3-4 hour game (depending on how you played it, that’s about the fastest I’ve seen on average for first plays without rushing), with no Kickstarter, no whisper of it coming out - and it’s only the first chapter of the story. However you feel about that, seriously - this man is an incredible creator, and I couldn’t be more in awe.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to reblog this/add on! I might come back and do some light edits/add-ons as I’m sure I’ll think of something I forgot to say in hardly ten minutes, but anything major I’ll likely add in a personal reblog.

With that, I’ll leave off with one final note that I think no one’s brought up yet in what little I’ve seen on full thoughts of the game:

Anyone remember the Stretch Goals from the Undertale Kickstarter?

Well, under the last, largest one, Toby Fox wrote this:

The “other” game... I can’t tell you anything about it. Its very nature is shrouded in darkness.

Toby Fox, everyone.

Toby Goddamn Fox.

[sailor-cresselia]

Zi-O 29-30: Blade spoilers within (from someone who has NOT watched Blade)

Ha! Black!Woz walks out of the Storytime vault and into 9-to-5.

White!Woz: Haha sweet I get to choose Another Blade

Swartz: Hey, what do you think of being a person who gets used… you know, hypothetically speaking…

White!Woz: ...ah. Well. Shit.  

(We continue this super spoiler-iffic liveblog under the cut. It gets long - this one made it to about 3,000 words. My apologies to mobile users. Just... scroll. Scroll like your life depends on it.)

Awww… the café from Blade has photos from back then on the counter, that’s so sweet. And Amane’s actually wearing the recent necklace for Chalice – that’s a really nice touch there, Toei. Product placement, but it’s a really nice tribute.

Another Blade’s design is – that’s terrifying, that’s a lot of knifes. I like how the spade symbol glows red, and it doesn’t have the ‘handle’ part of a spade. It’s a heart, too. But the thing is… this is the second Another Rider to not have the lens-eyes. Everyone up to Another Zi-O had them, and he notably didn’t.

I know people have been saying they’re proud of Sougo for managing to graduate, and I agree. I really do. I’m happy for our book-dumb protagonist. It’s actually kind of nice to see all four of the ‘team’ together. You know, for certain definitions of ‘team’.

Noting here the Tsukuyomi hasn’t told Sougo that his ‘dream’ was. Not actually a dream, so much as a memory. It makes sense that a small 8-year-old reality warper would take the trauma of something like what Swartz did, and assume the first time he saw it was a nightmare, too.

(Seriously, screw that guy.)

Okay, so, I have not watched Decade, but… from the two (2) films I’ve seen with his cast – WxDecade and the first Hero Taisen movie – this seems to be pretty damned in-character for this Daiki guy. “Lol sup hi just saying hello don’t mind me” *proceeds to steal all your transformation trinkets*

Case in point… Sougo and Geiz don’t notice their personal watches are missing until they go to activate the button on the side. Not when they don’t pull anything out – no, when they go to turn them on. Boys. Boys please.

Also, can I just say that I’m starting to see why people pair Tsukasa and Daiki? I mean, the guy came out in a ~magenta~ apron. And they’re both little shits.

Sougo just shoves Woz in front of them. Woz!Kikai is so OP, oh my god. First the mind control thing when it debuted, the satellite dish lasers in Another Zi-O, and now it has extendable robot arms to grab the watches back. Oh my god.

(Kaito, suddenly copied into another existance as Baron: GFDI just let me be a tree spirit already)

(I know it’s a doppelganger, but seriously. So many Barons. So little patience on his end for people constantly trying to revive him as a pawn.) 

Sougo: Okay, so, you guys’s past is my future, and since it’s 2019, anything that happens in 2068 is the future now, so aren’t you talking about things that haven’t happened yet?

Woz: My lord, please, verb tenses get complicated enough without you speaking.

OOF. Yeah, uh, there’s gonna be a. A few problems with Blade ‘2019’. Namely that he isn’t supposed to be in, like. Japan. Ever again. Because Bad Things Happen when he is around fellow Undead. (He made an exception for Gorider, because a certain zombie f*er was stealing his gig, and poorly at that.

((Am I saying that he’s an asshole who is also a zombie, or that he would do a zombie? … Both. I’m saying both.))

Sougo: Okay, so, we need one person who can fight on both ends, and really, if a team is going after Geiz’s watch, it ought to include Geiz, and you guys want me to go after the Another Riders, so of course the groups are me with Tusukyomi, and Geiz with Woz! :) It’s only rational! :) And if you happen to work out whatever’s going on between you, well, that’s just a bonus, isn’t it? :)

Geiz: ...if I kill him, it’s your fault, you know.

Tsukuyomi: This is a terrible idea.

Sougo: I know! :)

(gasp) Dark Toei is giving us the forbidden rebel backstory!

Oh goody Woz was the leader of their team! And he said he was going to ‘infiltrate’ Oma Zi-O’s camp! And everyone died because he seems to have switched sides. Delightful.

White!Woz: Excuse me? I see a pair of powerups here, but not the one I specifically requested you get.

Daiki: Lol you mad?

White!Woz: ...fight us irl bitch.

Daiki: Heh.

Huh… So… when White!Woz’s tablet makes someone do something, they’re supposed to hear his ‘narration’… and maybe that’s a recent idea from the team, but. When it seemed that he was compelling Sougo to come after him – I can’t remember when, it was during either Shinobi or Quiz, but Sougo and Black!Woz were talking in 9-to-5, and he summoned Sougo away, that didn’t happen. Hm.

Sougo: Dang, couldn’t even knock the watch out temporarily. Drat.

Hm. Regulus is showing up in the daytime now… and so is the rest of the constellation. That can’t be good.

Oooh, nifty. Another Blade has the inverted heart for Chalice on her torso, but the spade for Blade on her. Well, blade. As well as a circular saw, which is a bit overkill when you consider the literal knives sticking up from her shoulders.

Oh, hey, remember that theory about how the Another Riders are technically the enemy that each rider fought? Like how Another Gaim opened cracks into the Helheim forest, and Another OOO bled Cell Medals like a Greeed?

And remember why Kenzaki can never return to Japan?

Undead are drawn to fight each other.

Okay, I get why a speed versus speed battle, to counter Woz!Shinobi, would wind up with Diend summoning Accel. But why Birth? Date’s version was never particularly fast – he’s more of a Mighty Glacier. And the suit isn’t really intended for speed, since Gotou was only particularly speedy when he used the Cutter Wing ‘attachment’.

And then I am immediately answered. Bike juggling to get Woz into the air, so that ‘Birth’ can shoot him down without mercy. (Was reminding us of the bike form really necessary? Was it? I don’t think it was. I could have done without seeing that in-action again.)

Diend: Wow, that’s cold, even for me, watching your friend get beat up like that.

Geiz: Bold of you to assume we’re friends. He’s a born liar. I mean, he’s using a ninja form right now.

Geiz: Yeah, no, Woz, screw you. I know you wanted a distraction. Asshole.

Diend: Aw, look, they do like each other.

OH THANK COSMOS it’s Chalice Versus Zi-O. ...for now. There’s about minutes left for everything to go terribly, terribly wrong. (Because Blade.)

And then it immediately went terribly, terribly, wrong.

Kenzaki and Hajime haven’t transformed in years, because they can’t. They would feel each other’s power, seek each other out, and be forced to fight. Probably the only time Blade has reappeared was in a slightly-alternate reality. (shakes fist at Gorider). And Kenzaki looks absolutely terrible. How did you get here so fast, sir? That jacket has clearly seen far better days, is the damage recent?

Some excellent ‘teamwork’ on Geiz and Black!Woz’s parts – using Shinobi’s finisher to get the two targets in one spot for Geiz’s finisher. Clever. Pity that the other two watches aren’t here.

And with that, and some brutal slashes exchanged between Blade and Chalice…

we move to episode 30.

The power-up watches get all electro-staticy, and try to start a chain reaction with White!Woz, but it doesn’t hold up. Hm.

Geiz: What’s your issue?!

Diend: Looking for my boyfriend-rival. No big deal.

Oh man, neither of them want to be in this fight, but they don’t have a choice. Zi-O accidentally knocks Another Blade into the line of fire for Actual Blade’s finisher, so naturally Chalice steps in to try and take the hit.

It doesn’t… technically work. She still gets knocked out of her transformation, back to Amane, and he’s still in his armor.

Kenzaki: oh god oh shit what the hell?! Amane?! what’s going on oh shit

Woz’s storytime vault…

Oh… The Day of Oma is apparently meant for Sougo to stop the end of the world… apparently as brought on by the Battle Fight.

… Rider versus Rider, right? A pair of Riders who can’t coexist, but also can’t not coexist. And yet another who is supposedly erasing all Riders from history. Starting with the primary members of each group. So… if Blade goes, the world goes. If Chalice goes, the world goes. If they both go, Oma Zi-O rises.

“An interesting game, Professor. The only way to win is not to play.”

Zi-O II’s shot in the opening has been replaced by Zi-O Trinity.

Geiz can relate pretty hard to Kenzaki’s resignation to having to fight Hajime, but also to his desperately not wanting to do that thing.

Once again, we have the question of “What is the future you are aiming for?” The question of “And then what?”

Geiz wants to see the one that Sougo – that they will create.

<3

Junichiro: Hey, what are your plans for the new era?

Sougo: ...Uncle, you have no idea how loaded that question is with this group.

(or does he?)

Hey, that camera’s a clue in more ways than one, isn’t it? Another Blade was attacking photo studios, because Hajime’s a photographer. But that camera’s awfully similar to Tsukasas. Who asked you to repair, that, I wonder…?

Yeah, Woz, you’re kind of being a hypocrite here. Criticizing a woman for wanting to reconnect with an old friend/mentor, while unable to get over the urge to lord over having been Geiz’s superior. GEIZ has a point in his anger. WOZ is just being an ass. And Sougo hones directly in on this.

Kid’s got a decent Charisma stat, too.

When Amane picks up the photos, through to when Kenzaki calls for Hajime. That! The Background!

I think that’s a piano ballad version of “Zi-O: King of Time”!

OST when?

And, also, can we get another instance of Future Soldier in-show anytime soon?

Okay, okay, sorry, back to the show.

OH NOOOO.

Firstly, White!Woz summons the two into a fight.

Then he forcibly activates the Another Blade watch inside of Amane.

The transformation has a screen with Another Blade’s face appear and move over her, just like the card that appears when Kenzaki transforms.

Ow, my heart.

OH SHIT RIGHT.

These two episodes have made no effort to hide the green blood that both Kenzaki and Hajime have – from the miscolored bruises to actual bloodstains. And Undead can be ‘sealed’ away – that’s where the Rouze cards come from in the first place. Another Blade – no. Amane doesn’t want them to fight – doesn’t want them to have to fight. So she seals their powers. Their emblems move onto the Another Blade… armor, I guess is as good a word as any.

And now their wounds are red.

But she just took the powers of two Jokers, absorbing them into one person. Leaving one person with the Joker designation.

Herself.

Please note that I typed this immediately before restarting, only to watch the Sealing Stone appear.

It’s the end of the world as we know it, and nobody feels fine.

Oh, the cinematography of this show. A beam visually separating Sougo and White!Woz from their angles on the stairs – it’s going the opposite direction, making an x with the handrail behind them.

We’re back to the question of “And then what?”.

White!Woz’s future is gone, the potential isn’t there anymore, so he’d rather there not be a future at all. I guess we’ll never see if my ‘a future frozen in an endless moment’ theory was right. Pity. I was wondering if they would go that route for him.

Oooh, an orchestral version of ‘Zi-O: King of Time’!

“You can’t just give up! What’s the use in assuming that it’s over?” Sougo is cheering on even his enemy this boy is not nearly as dark as he assumed in the Ryuki arc, oh my goodness. “You can’t say that any one future is set in stone, so keep trying, keep opposing us! I’ll... No. We’ll keep foiling your plans, but you can’t just give up on the world.”

And the orchestral theme just keeps rising in the background.

Oh… and Sougo said the same thing to Woz. Geiz says that he can’t stand living in the past. And, like I guessed last episode, in like, the fourth section of this liveblog… The past that they’ve lived is, technically, still in the future from where they are now. From Sougo’s perspective, and from the perspective of time itself, none of that has happened yet.

Besides, like Geiz is saying, they came to the past to change history anyway. They’re making a new future, all of them – Sougo, Tsukuyomi, and Geiz… and Woz.

“Do you want in?”

“… That sounds interesting.”

Hm. The Trinity watch – which is somehow successfully created by White!Woz – has all three of the current Belt Voices, doesn’t it? The two that the Ziku Driver uses and the high-pitched one from the BeyonDriver.

“If you use this, I will accept it.”

… accept what? The option to create a new future? The future that Sougo’s aiming for?

Nifty – the light from Regulus and the Day of Oma burns out the clouds from the Sealing Stone.

Pffft - ‘the light is guiding us’ no, no it’s not so much that…

(I love the ‘wtf is going on’ faces from Kenzaki and Hajime)

GEEZ Trinity’s basically a mini-Sentai mech, with all three of them in one place inside.

“Guys, no, I’m sorry, I know none of us know what is going on, but I have to take control for a second, I have to do my speech okay, it’s in my contract. This is not optional.”

I like how the hand on the clock moves to point to whoever’s in control of the body.

I really like how Trinity forms all of their weapons – and how they dissolve when discarded. Nice touch.

And I really like the triumphant section of ‘King of Time’ playing behind this fight.

...Regulus is shining still, brighter than before. With a ‘shine’ of pink, yellow, and green. Their colors.

“Why did you choose to let me stay?”

“Because I think you have more potential.”

White!Woz accepts that ‘his’ world will never exist, and that Sougo will create a better one. He goes out peacefully, and warning Black!Woz – no. Warning Woz that Sir Swartz is planning more than they know.

He goes out with a shimmer of golden motes of light, and the glitching effects that have been a key sign of time re-writing an existence.

Oma Zi-O: You’re almost done… only six more until you’re me.

Sougo: But what I don’t want to?

Daiki yoinked the Future Note. Show off.

Which, of course, creates a slight problem for me and my potential ‘fix it’ of Zi-O, down the line in the Re-United ‘verse. Or, rather, a complication.

See, the draft I’ve got has at minimum one of the Den-O’s and Zeronos ferrying Riders back and forth. THAT is how I plan to deal with the amnesia issue. Not warning them in the present and past, like I had planned. But having the ‘contemporary’ versions of them just. Sorta travel backward, and pretend that they’re the ones that from in the past. Just… ya know, keep their past selves unaware of what’s going on, take the brunt of temporary power removal. Fill in for themselves when Zi-O and Geiz meet them.

And I had everyone scheduling this from Tsukasa having somehow duplicated Black!Woz’s book when he grabbed it during the Ghost arc. I have never seen Decade, and have no idea if that would even be part of his powerset. But, like, Trinity just knocked off his ability to turn Riders into weapons and stuff, so. Ya know.

I’m apparently not that far off, if I can work Daiki into it. … need to watch Den-O and Decade first, but that’s just how it goes.

The complication is my stated ‘not wanting to touch on Zi-O’ aspect. I now admit that I want to handle it somehow, but if they keep airing concepts similar to ones I’ve been working on for months, I’m going to get accused of lying.

Arceus, Cosmos, and Gaim DAMNIT.

Of course, you may have noticed I skipped a scene there during the re-cap.

Because not for the first time, something has been saved by Zi-O taking powers away. I’m still decidedly not here for the amnesia concept, and I am not okay with the fact that certain characters have potentially been un-created – Ankh, Parad, Poppy and the like among them – but here’s the thing.

Both Kenzaki and Hajime remember being Blade and Chalice. They can properly retire – They’re both bleeding red. Hajime was never human to start with – he was using the Spirit card to be human. But he seems to be human now. The Blade and Chalice watches appear to have taken their Joker situation out of the picture.

Like how his intervention by introducing the father to Emu, who clearly went on to point him to Hiiro, saved the son during the Ex-Aid arc.

Like how the girls would have never gone missing during the Fourze and Faiz arc, to say nothing of Takumi and Kusaka being decidedly more alive than usual.

Like how Kaito also appears to be alive again after the Gaim arc.

And how neither the girl or her brother died in the Ghost arc.

How Rentaro can become Shinobi in a newly created potential future.

How Mondo got to meet his father.

… admittedly, his apparently re-creating the events of Ryuki might be a problem. I haven’t had a chance to watch any of the RIDER TIME specials, but I hear that’s what happened? Sorry, Shinji.

But here’s the thing. A not-insignificant number of things have turned out for the better… and as long as the ‘you were never riders’ thing can be… worked around…

Hmn.

((also, just a quick note, if you comment on any of the sections in here, I’d really appreciate it if you specify which statements you’re talking about. These recaps get really long, so... y’know, it’ll make it a little easier for a conversation.))

[starfaring-princelotor]

Thinking Ahead

Summary: Lotor realizes that the feelings he has been harboring are not what they seem. 

Pairings: Lotor x F!Reader

★ Disclaimer: I do not ship Lotura and I kindly ask that this story to not be tagged as Lotura. This is a Lotor x Reader/Self-Insert OC story which is in no way related to Allura at all. Please be respectful of my chosen pairing. Thank you. ★

Warnings: Dirty thoughts, underage drinking.

Future Sight___Historic Significance___No Time Like The Present___Thinking Ahead ___Best Friends

“Here you go, two cups of black tea.”

Romelle, bright eyed and equally bright haired student of Hufflepuff, placed two dishes of tea in front of you and Lotor. Professor Trelawney’s reasoning for “switching up partners” is so people would not be too familiar with each other. That way, everyone could get a true taste of variety amongst their peers. Unfortunately for her, she was oblivious to you and Lotor’s growing friendship.

“Ugh, this tea is so bitter.”

“Yes, I will admit, this is not one of my more preferred flavors.”

Black tea was too strong on your palette, but at least the temperature of the drink was perfect. Not too hot, not too cold, and you couldn’t help but grin when Lotor sent you a pointed look the second you started sipping loudly. Where are your manners? You had none, not for some tea leaves fortune telling crap.

“Have you ever had sweet berry hibiscus tea?” you asked out of the blue, peeking at him over the edge of your tiny cup.

“I have. The fruity flavor is delightful with a side coconut jelly,” somehow, this meager chitchat made the bitter liquid bearable, “I took a trip to Maui one summer. Oh, so humid, but not as hot as I would have expected. The locals were, ahem, generous and kind beyond measure. Of course, after they accept you, the ridicule for being a tourist never ends.”

You smiled at hearing that, finding some sort of cruel glee in his suffering, “Yeah? They call you old man because of your hair?”

“Oh, come now, surely that insult is as old as time itself,” he chuckled then grinned at the challenge, “No, no, they playfully poked that I am a fish when it comes to surfing. I quote, ‘Floundering and wiggly.’”

Now, the two of you laughed, and unbeknownst to either of you, Allura’s attention was not so subtly focused on the happy duo. Or at least, how happy Lotor seemed. Romelle took her seat across from her, tilted her head when she received no recognition from her close friend, then followed her line of sight. A mild annoyance began creeping up her spine then she gently slid a hand to cover Allura’s dainty ones, a show of support and a way to garner her full attention.

“Allura?”

The Princess stayed silent for a moment more before tearing her gaze away, offering Romelle a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, “Yes? Pardon me, ready for some tea?”

The concerned look reflecting Romelle’s eyes did not go unnoticed. Nor did the soft way her thumb was gently rubbing over the Princess’ knuckles out of instinctual comfort. They talked about this before, talked about her and Lotor’s previous relationship several times over when she felt those feelings creep back up in her heart. You were right when reading her palm: Allura had an insecure heart, even a year after her relationship with him took a turn for the worst.

But that was not why she was intently watching you two right now.

“Are you alright?” or rather, will she be alright?

“Yes, I am quite fine, thank you,” the Princess picked up her teacup and rest her mouth on the lip, “...Actually, I think I am just...concerned.”

“Concerned? You know he can not hurt you anymore, Allura.”

“Not for me, no. I mean for her.”

A spark of jealousy welled up in Romelle, but she quickly tampered it down before it could be known. You and Allura were not friends. Acquaintances, perhaps, but even so, she could understand the Princess’ bleeding heart for others. Especially in situations that didn’t include her, or need to include her at all. She only wished for the safety for everyone and the blonde girl couldn’t blame her. She cared too much for people and it did get her hurt more than once.

This was not new information to Romelle.

She sipped from her cup then glanced at Lotor, taking keen interest in him when he drank from his own cup, “Allura, do you think he’d hurt her? Maybe we should talk to Shiro about this…”

The Princess finally took a gulp of her tea, hoping it would relax her nerves, “No, that won’t be necessary. I’d rather not involve anyone else unless he - Unless I start to notice something. I really am trying to take your advice into practice.”

As in, don’t get in too deep in other people’s lives, ex’s included. It was just hard to do so when the man you once loved is giving someone else that same exact look she felt for him. Or at least, she thought she felt. A year later and it was still so very confusing for her fragile heart. Allura gently squeezed her friend’s hand in sincere apology.

“I am sorry for making you worry,” she continued, “Let’s enjoy this tea, yes?”

Romelle doubted the enthusiasm plastered over Princess Allura’s face, but she knew no words would soothe her troubled mind right now.

Lotor laid in bed with Kova perched on his shoulders, his tail loosely wrapped around the Prince’s neck. The cat would have rather been laying in his lap, but it was already preoccupied with an open book. There were words scribbling fast across the page, yet they appeared not by Lotor’s hand. No, the writing was too big, too loopy to be his.

I nearly threw the book into the fire when you wrote back. You should’ve told me at the dance! Nearly scared me to death. Thought one of the ghosts possessed it or something.

He reached over to his bedside table and picked up his quill. The nub was wearing down. Soon, he would need a new one.

You would willingly traverse into the Forbidden Forest past midnight, but a two-way journal scares you?

I’m a Ravenclaw, not a Gryffindor. Bravery is not in my blood.

Lotor grinned at that. Yes, curiosity and bravery were not of the same definitions.

Did your tea reading spook you of the future?

Why would I believe soggy, yucky leaves telling me I’m going to be attacked?

Maybe it is a sign. Watch out for puddles.

After that, the Prince drew a surprisingly detailed puddle, but then added a stick figure to represent you. There was a frown on your face and he could already imagine the indignant noise you’d make once seeing his creative masterpiece. To his surprise, ink started sketching as an image of, what he could only assume, was HIM appeared over the water. Was that... was that him on his broom? Lotor chuckled in mirthful amusement.

My ears are not that big.

In response, you drew his hair longer. Excessively longer. Rapunzel length longer. Then, the moon appeared. Full, just like that night, and little stars dotting the vacant sky. Lotor’s heart softened at the image you were drawing, not at all thinking about how he was connecting the dots and making constellations here and there. It wasn’t until he saw a single, long line stretch from the bottom of the page to the top and stop there did he tilt his head in confusion.

No more words? Ah. You must’ve fallen asleep on him. It was well past midnight anyways. You had a good idea. Before he decided to snuggle under the comforter in search of dreamland, he wrote three little words. Three little heartfelt words that he knows you’ll see come morning.

Good night, darling.

Lotor’s brows scrunched up in offense at watching you read. Well, he was trying to read, but his eyes caught such a despicable act to nature he had to put his own studies on halt just to make sure he was not dreaming a horrid nightmare. He cleared his throat softly, just enough to catch your attention.

“I had no idea you lick your thumb before turning pages.”

Almost comically, your tongue was still stuck out just as you were about to wet it, “I know, it’s a disgusting habit -”

“Very. Remind me to never lend you any of my books.”

You had to suppress a laugh at his squinty face, almost like he found a fly in his five-star bowl of clam chowder. This time, instead of using your thumb, you swiped the page with the tip of your wand. It seemed this pleased him more than your gross saliva tainting the books and spreading unknown germs to others. Or even to yourself! Who knows how many people have touched these books?

“And remind me never to touch any of your books, too.”

You rolled your eyes yet kept a playful grin plastered on your lips, “One of my favorite stories is World War Z. Have you read it?”

“The one about zombies? Really? That one is the best book you can think of?” Lotor arched his brow, attention focused on you now instead of his own reading, “You know zombies can never really happen.”

“Shh! It could totally happen, y’know. If science can go wrong, why can’t magic? They wouldn’t’ve made reversal spells if magic was perfect.”

“Pardon me, did you just say…” he squinted at you even more, “W...wouldn’t’ve?”

Now, he was baffled at yet another phenomenon you showed him. Unnecessary contractions. Lotor blinked like you just grew another pair of lips on your face, which nearly made you chortle a bit too loud in the quiet library. No other students would even consider staying this late in the archives for fun, yet good company was all you two needed, location be damned.

“You have been hanging around Keith too much, darling,” he reprimanded, yet you didn’t take it at all seriously, “Next thing I know, you will be a brooding jar of angst who mopes in bed all day. Oh, wait, that DID happen.”

It was your turn to scoff in mock offense. How dare he grin that catty grin after openly poking fun at your expense? You almost wanted to retaliate by flicking a paper ball at him. Almost, and you only decided against it when you saw his eyes shine in delighted mirth, half his face hidden behind a book. It was...nice. Not his weak insult, no, but rather the friendly familiarity was quite refreshing between you two.

“Oh, yeah? Well, at least I don’t...I don’t…”

“Hm? Yes? You do not what? Use your words, dear.”

“Hmph, at least I don’t...Gah, I can’t think of anything!”

Lotor wasn’t flawless, but it was kind of hard to think of one, singular trait you could joke about on the spot. And he knew this. He reveled in making you fumble over your words because, although you were smart, you still needed at least a day warning to come up with a worthy insult. Meanwhile, the scrutinizing observer he was, he could pick at you till the sun comes up.

“It is alright. Take your time,” he nonchalantly turned a page, that air of victory surrounding his smug self, “You can say it tomorrow when you are ready.”

“Quietly. You do not want us to get caught, do you?”

As silently as you could, you lifted your foot and gently tapped the stone with every step you took. How Lotor could pull off being so stealthy, you had no clue. Magic, probably. He was leading you up many flights of stairs in a part of the castle you were not familiar with. Was this the Slytherin wing? No, there weren’t even any pictures on the cobblestone walls. Where exactly were you?

“Ugh, wait, let me - “ you knelt down quickly, slipping off your clunky shoes and allowing the cold stone to seep through your socks, “Okay. Okay, where are we going?”

One hand in his, the other now holding your scuffed shoes, Lotor decided against giving you a firm answer. Instead, he turned over his shoulder, sent you a quick wink along with his signature trusting smile. You stumbled gracefully, blaming the uneven stairs for fault, yet he was strong enough to still prevent you from kissing the floor.

“We are almost there...if you would stop tripping,” cue smile transforming into a playful grin, an excited grin, like a boy ready to see the fireworks start.

“Well, maybe if someone didn’t have mile-long legs, I wouldn’t have to sprint to keep up,” you huffed, that is, until the two of you came across a large gap.

The chasm below, oh stars, how high up did you two travel? This was at least 50 stories high. It was a miracle the stairs were even holding up at all, as decrepit this building was. But...there, across the death hole, was a door which you could only assume was where he was planning on leading you. Before you could even ask him a question, Lotor released your hand then effortlessly leaped across the gap, landing calculated and ever so majestically.

And maybe a little smug when he met your slack-jawed face.

“That is so unfair.”

“Jump. I will help you, do not worry. The gap is not as big as you think.”

You were half nervous and half...excited? It must be because of your curiosity peaking at the sight of the ornate curved door. Surely, no one else would even consider venturing forth with the prospect of a very long drop right in front of them. But Lotor said he would help. Lotor said not to worry. Yet, you shuffled in spot, calculating how much of a running start you would need to make it across.

Meanwhile, the Prince was way too amused seeing you hesitate. He held out his arms as if offering a hug, trying to lure you in with the trust he carefully built with you.

“You drop me, I haunt you for the rest of your life.”

“Duly noted, darling.”

That gap...was it just you, or was it getting bigger? Before you could let your nerves get the best of you, Lotor sent you a nod of encouragement and you exhaled a heavy breath. Shaking your arms, you backed up a bit then took a running start, leaping with all the strength in your legs. Don’t look down. Don’t look -

Oh, fuck. Too late. And now, you realized your jump wasn’t nearly as far as it should have been. One foot landed on the edge and Lotor’s instincts immediately kicked in, his strong arms winding around your midsection to pull you close for security. You weren’t sure who made the “eep” noise, no, certainly not you, but you definitely heard him chuckle when your hands clung onto him for dear life.

Your heart was beating so fast. If you were listening closely, you could hear his, too.

“See? That was not so difficult, now was it?” Lotor took a few cautious steps away from the hole, noting your legs were shaking like a newborn foal, “Come, you - ah - dear, your nails…”

You stubbornly shook your head, refusing to let go of your hug as he guided you through the door, “Forests, fine. Flying over a lake? Fine. Leap of death? No. Next time, give me a piggyback ride. I’m not doing that again.”

The door closed behind you two and it was Lotor shrugging you gently to pull your face out of the safe confines of his chest. A dead fireplace, cushions, some thick blankets, half a ceiling missing. This place was in shambles, but it did make you feel more lax, more safe, more secluded. Lotor’s arms fell to his sides to let you explore the humble room, moon missing tonight and sky shimmering with distant stars.

“Here,” the Prince picked up a folded blanket, spreading it out and over your shoulders, “It is only going to get colder and we will be here for a while.”

“Oh...it’s…” the view from up here, so close to the clear sky, you almost felt like you could pluck a gem or two from the night, “You brought me here to stargaze? They look so much clearer tonight.”

Some more shuffling and Lotor wrapped his own thick comforter around his body then sat on a chilled cushion. There was no wind tonight, thank goodness, otherwise this trip he carefully planned might have ended prematurely. Footing your own cushion closer to his side, you also plopped next to your tall friend while tucking your blanket tighter in your chest. Neither of you minded that you two were, as they say, attached at the hip.

“Not only that. Just wait. Give it a few minutes,” Lotor angled his head upwards, nebulous eyes reflecting those twinkling stars and anticipating the phenomenal show to start.

You mimicked him, orbs searching for something in the sky, anything other than those countless dots swimming in the night. Lo and behold, you saw something flicker. And another, this time longer. A shooting star? Many! Many shooting stars blinking in sight, and just like that, you perked up in amazement, in the awe Lotor witnessed that night at the moonstone lake. Lips parted, iris darting across the sky to catch each falling star, you saw 10, no, 12 pass by in the mere minutes you were sitting here.

The cold didn’t bother you anymore, “That’s...that’s like, 12 wishes!”

16 now and soon you would no doubt lose count with how frequently they appeared. You couldn’t keep up with his freckles, shooting stars even less.

“I can’t...think of more than 3 wishes,” your mouth scrunched up in a corner, “I wish tests weren’t so hard.”

“That, my dear, could easily be handled if you studied more,” he reached to his satchel and pulled out two green mugs, “If I recall correctly, the Muggle world believe wishes can be granted by magic, no?”

Your attention diverted to the cup he placed in your lap, fingers deftly picking it up and noticing it...empty. “Yeah, they believe that if you blow a dandelion in the wind, your wish comes true, too. Other things like, uh...something about ladybugs? And eyelashes? A bit silly, isn’t it?”

And yet, he has a suspicious feeling in his gut you tried every possible wishing device at your disposal. Lotor pulled out his wand then gently tapped the rim of his cup, warm dark liquid instantly filling it to tipping point. The steam wafted in the air and you noticed a few mini marshmallows floating in his drink, clumping together in the sea of sweetness. No sooner were you able to voice your question of “How did you do that?!” did he use magic to fill your cup, as well. Less marshmallows, but no complaints from you.

“Well, magic does not have to make sense,” Lotor spoke with a hint of cockiness and, after taking a sip of his drink, he hummed in thought, “Needs a bit more of a...kick, no?”

“A...kick?” you raise da brow, carefully drinking a small portion before smacking your lips together, “Peppermint cocoa? Didn’t take you as a sweets kinda guy.”

“I adore sweets. Chocolate frogs are one of my favorite delicacies,” he admitted, hiding the fact that he also...collected those cards in the package as a hobby.

Lotor pulled out a bottle. A dark bottle, label unreadable in the dim room, then he popped the top off with one strong flick of his thumb. He poured a generous amount of what looked like milky coffee in his cup before offering the tip to you. Whatever it was, there was a whiff of sugary sweetness and, oh...that was alcohol. Faint, but it was there, and you shot a bewildered look at him.

“The Prince drinks alcohol? What would the Slytherin housemaster say?” you feigned shock and, even in the dark, you could see his glowing eyes roll at your words.

“Hush, you. Alcohol is commonly referred to ‘liquid courage,’ no?” to his delight, you held your drink up and he poured a small amount for now, “After seeing your...flawless bravery over that hole, I think some liquid courage would somewhat embolden you.”

You sipped. You sputtered. You stuck out your tongue, somehow thinking it would help get that ghastly bitter burn off your palette.

“Oh, this is - this is disgusting!” and yet, you took another sip, maybe the second time around wouldn’t taste as bad, “How can you drink this stuff? Blegh…”

A deep chuckle rumbled from his chest. Yes, this must’ve been your first drink, but in his mind, it was not strong at all. Still, seeing your blatant dislike of it, he brought his wand up and prepared to magically whisk away your drink and give you fresh hot cocoa. It was you who cradled your mug away from him, holding it like you were preserving a precious, rare golden apple.

“Oh? So, you DO like it, I see,” Lotor’s eyes cataloged the blush gracing your cheeks, either from embarrassment at playing keep-away or from the drink warming up your body.

“Now, I didn’t say that,” you leaned against him, placing all your weight on the sturdy Prince, “I should try it...a third time. And fourth. And fifth. Then I will give you my five-minute review of your peppermint hot cocoa.”

This was so dangerous, sneaking out this late, drinking alcohol, but it was giving you a sense of acceptance, of fun, hanging out with Lotor with no judgement from anyone. No student roles under a teacher’s gaze or homework to be done before noon or responsibilities other than caring for each other in the most spirited of company. Goodness, was he always this warm? You lifted his arm and tucked yourself against him, figuring double blankets would keep you two cozier longer throughout the night. .

“If you fall asleep, do not drool on me. I will wake you, dear.”

Your eyes scanned the page, mouth silently reciting the spell so you could memorize it by heart. Though, with your previous attempts that came out for naught, you knew this was going to be difficult. It was almost as if your wand was purposely refusing to work with you. While the rest of the class was practicing with success, you glared with determination at the potted plant in front of you. Unblooming. It looked nearly dead, to be honest.

“Morning dew, nightly rain

Bring this rose to bloom again.”

Three flicks of your wand, each punctuated at the end of a verse, yet all the plant did was...wilt. And with it, so did your spirit. To your right, before you could even see his smarmy grin, Lotor hummed in amusement at your failed attempts. Rude. You saw out of the corner of your eye that his potted plant, well, blooming was too nice of a word. It was flourishing. Practically a mini rose bush now, orange of all ugly colors.

“Don’t laugh,” you pouted, trying not to take his mockery at heart and knowing this was just him being a little shit again, “I’m trying.” “Maybe if you said it correctly, it would work. Here,” Lotor faced his already beautiful plant then cleared his throat, voice clear and loud, “Morning dew, nightly rain, bring this rose to bloom again.”

It grew twice its size, nearly tipping the pot. You grumbled, a low “show off” muttered from your lips.

“Now, your turn,” he faced you, watching your every move, from the flick of your wrist to the posture you held, “Your voice must be loud and clear.”

Again, you mumbled, both at his instruction and this dumb plant that wasn’t listening to you. The Prince tsk’d, your behavior and discouragement making him cross his arms. This was stern Lotor now. Not quite the same from the forest, but close enough that if you didn’t heed his advice, he would definitely leave you to fail over and over again.

“Sit up. Do not slouch,” he watched you do as he commanded, “Hold your wand at a 45 degree angle near the plant’s base. Now, LOUD and CLEAR.”

“I don’t like raising my voice,” you finally admitted...stubbornly.

Lotor narrowed his eyes slightly at the excuse. He reached over and scooted the plant closer to you then lifted your chin up with a finger. His eyes didn’t miss the way you stiffened in your seat nor how you easily surrendered to one of his slender digits. For a quick second, his mind flashed to what else he could do to you with just a single finger.

“You do not have to be loud, then. Clear. How will your wand hear you? How will the plant hear you? Now, try again.”

“Tch, now who is the pushy one, huh?”

“You could fail and lose house points. Your choice.”

“Bah! Fine, fine, just - don’t watch me.”

He wouldn’t watch you directly, but he was listening intently now, just to make sure you spoke the spell clearly. Or blow up your plant on accident. A few minutes passed and when you cheered a “Yes, finally!” under your breath, he knew you got it to work on the 6th try. By HIS guidance, no less, but still, it was the results that mattered in the end. A nudge at his side and he raised a groomed brow at you, eyes obviously waiting for a sign of gratitude.

“I don’t like yellow roses. Can I change the colors?” you flipped through ahead of the book, going to the more advanced spells, and he had to stop himself from rubbing the headache forming at his temples.

Fool. Mumbling idiot. You were going to accidentally change the color of your skin if you weren’t careful.

A strange thought crossed his mind then. Were you always this...imbecilic?

Lotor felt sick today. A cold, no doubt, or a fever? He wasn’t sure, but the tonic the nurse gave him only helped temper his body a little bit. The drapes were pulled together to keep his entire room dark and a thick layer of blankets covered his form. Oh, but he was breaking out a sweat now, his least favorite part about being ill. Aside from the migraines, of course.

The journal glowed a faint blue hue by his bedside, the light actually intensifying his headache. You were writing in it, most likely waiting for him to reply, but he was too aching to move any of his limbs. The sick Prince knew that a distraction would help him avert his mind from focusing on his soreness, yet part of him just wanted to...ugh, that brightness was getting on his blasted last nerve.

With all the strength he could summon, he grabbed the book and stuffed it inside the drawer. He didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. Sleep and silence were his best cure for his shut-in self. Eyes drooping slowly, he buried his face into the lush pillow then willed his mind to shut up. For five minutes, just five, let the comforting arms of sleep embrace me. Wish granted.

Though, he roused at the soft rapping of knuckles on his door. He had no idea how long he was knocked out. Could be an hour, could be a day. He wanted no visitors, so who dared…?

A turn of a knob and your face, as well as the hallways blinding light, leaked into the room. His silver brows knotted in annoyance and, with a peek from one eye, he tried to dig even more into his pillow to avoid you. Sick Lotor was an unhappy Lotor. A warning from Ezor when they had reluctantly let you in their wing and led you to the grumpy Prince’s private room. Your footsteps indicated you were right besides his bed, probably just looking down at him in pity. The thermos in your hand suddenly felt a little worthless, but you stood firm in your wavering thoughts.

“Hey, Lotor?” a rumbling grunt as a response, not the friendliest, but you understood his frustration, “Figured you were, uh...y’know, under the weather.”

“I am not sad. I am sick,” came his muffled reply, followed by a cough, “...And tired. Very tired.”

Yes, you know the wretched side effects of being sick. You may be going to a wizarding school, but illnesses still affected everyone. Why couldn’t magic whisk it away? Taking a seat at the edge of his bed, being mindful of his space and the fresh scent of mint wafting in the air, you offered him a soft pat pat on his elbow. Instantly, he cringed into himself, the touch both welcome and a little uncomfortable. You had intended to come and keep him company, perhaps tell him about what you learned in class today, yet all his body language pointed to one option: he wanted to be ALONE.

“Alright, alright, loud and clear,” you weren’t offended by his brusque words, well, maybe a little bit, “Here. Don’t know if you ate anything yet, but there’s some chicken soup in this. Generosity from the kitchen staff after they booted me out for sneaking in.”

You at least expected a chuckle, a quip of “I am surprised they did not turn YOU into soup,” but nothing came. Placing the thermos on his bedside table, you headed for the door and, with one last glance back at him, you offered a soft smile.

“Get better soon.”

The illegal Love Potion was finished and a majority of the class was excited, rightfully so. Everyone was eager to know who their loved one was, their crush, and possibly even sneak a portion out to use on the object of their desires. But not him. He was here for the grade. Lotor adored the dark arts and, although not officially part of the curriculum in his other class, this was just another step into understanding why Love was the strongest curse of all.

And yet, you were shifting nervously in your seat. Hands neatly folded on the desk, knee shaking up and down insistently, and your eyes couldn’t even focus staring at ONE thing. He didn’t understand. The two of you use the same ingredients, so you must be getting the same perfect grade as him. Or perhaps...you, like the others, were curious about what the potion would reveal to you if you took a small whiff.

“Did you...y’know,” you asked vaguely, motioning to his simmering potion.

“No. Did you?”

“No.”

A moment of silence. You knew you had certain feelings for him, but pinpointing them to love or anything stronger than love was what really kept you uncertain. Friends? Best friends? Maybe...something more? Should you ask him? Part of you wanted to, yet another side of you was actually happy with where you two were at now. You trust him. You trusted him quite a bit.

“Wanna do it together?” you asked, knowing there was a few minutes to spare before class started.

Lotor’s silence made you hesitate even more. Not because it was a yes or no answer, but because he was thinking about what he was going to experience. It was no matter of the heart that he already heavily desired you since that mirror showed him what the two of you could be. His thoughts were invaded with you before, yet he couldn’t differentiate between him being a horny adolescent or an actual fool in love.

The Prince sent you a side glance, “Yes. Let us try.”

Both of you gently swept the smoke rising from the cauldron to your noses, preparing yourselves for the answers to the unknown.

Peppermint cocoa. Old library books. Fresh laden snow. Chicken pot pie. A...rose?

You brought a hand up to cover the lower half of your face, immediately knowing where all these scents were coming from. Or rather, who. You...love him? No. That couldn’t be. You didn’t even realize it! How could some liquidy goop know you better than you? But...maybe on some degree, it was true. You love him enough to be such close, vulnerable friends with each other. Enough that you wished his sickness would erase completely from his body that one night. Enough that you willingly leap into his welcoming arms, despite the fear clouding your mind.

The realization...well, it brought you two things. One, a peace of mind now that your question was answered. And two, you found that the damn beating organ in your chest wanted to ask him about these conflicting thoughts. You swallowed a thick gulp lodged in your throat, sparing a meek look at your partner sitting idly besides you. Did he smell...something foul?

Lotor’s face was twisted in utter disgust.

Yes, he knew what his nose would pick up. Chicken noodle soup, white carnations, misty lake water, oak trees, and finely-ground powdered moon stone. With every scent, a new memory flashed in his mind, from that dangerous adventure at the forest lake to the soup he gratefully consumed shortly after you closed his bedroom door. The memories...it made his heart fond, his heart yearn to hold you again, but the smell. All of it mixed together?

It made him want to puke on the spot.

Lotor covered his nose with his hand to block anymore of that potion from reaching his brain. He knew you were staring at him, waiting for an answer, anything, and he knew you were not blind. The growing friendship, the late night cuddling, the hugs, the sentimental time spent together. You must’ve suspected something between you two, some fine line between the moments of vulnerability you shared with each other.

“Lotor, did you - “

Yet, he turned away from you, avoiding looking at you in the eyes, just as the professor waltzed into the classroom. Maybe the smell was too strong for him? Yes, yes, that was a logical conclusion. The potency, when taken too much, can cause nausea. Right? You swear you read that somewhere in the book. It must be the cause of his sudden reaction.

Because if it wasn’t that, then everything else pointed to the other option, and you weren’t sure if you were ready to accept that.  

Lotor didn’t speak to you for the next few days. Sometimes, you thought you saw a glance of him turn a corner. Sometimes, he was hastily shoveling his food in his mouth to leave abruptly. Sometimes, he would spare you a quick, stoic glance before turning his attention to his books. Either way, there was no right time to talk, no perfect moment with his odd evasiveness lodging between you two.

Then again, you tried to see this as openly as possibly. Perhaps he was just busy. Tests and finals were coming up and you, too, were preoccupied with other studies.

“Hey, Lotor, wait up,” you called out to him this time, jogging to catch up before he entered his class.

“Hm? Yes, dear? What is it?”

“Did you wanna head to Madam Puddifoot’s this weekend? After tests and everything. Figure we could use a break, eat some cake, the good stuff!”

Lotor didn’t meet your gaze nor your enthusiasm. Instead, he glanced off to stare at the floor, internally debating something bouncing around that cluttered skull of his. He was a man of few words, even fewer when concerning personal emotions, yet lately he couldn’t even organize his thoughts in a coherent order. There was something bugging him, something deep in his skin, and as your friend, part of him realized it would wedge an awkwardness between you two.

“Ah...no, I apologize,” eyes still glued to the floor, Lotor missed the downtrodden dip of your smile, “Perhaps another time, hm? When things have quieted down and students have gone home for break.”

Yes. Yes, a good diversion, one he didn’t quite think all the way through.

“Oh, yeah! Sure, good idea. Less people would be overcrowding the shop. Just...y’know, the journal. You know where I am at.”

Were you always this...this easy to push around? Odd. He never really noticed it before.

A nod of his head, he turned and left you standing there alone. Not even a goodbye? He really must be stressed.

Lotor was feeling...angry. Frustrated, and not in a way he could relieve himself through some private time alone. Yes, in the confines of his dutiful patrol across the Slytherin wing, he still thought of you, of forcefully kissing you against the wall. Biting your delicate neck with little control until he had his fill of moans and screams. Even pinning your wrists at your lower back as he fucked you from behind made his groin stir in want.

All these images distracted him, but there was something...missing. He didn’t feel love. It was just lust. Just a need to climax, to dump his load into you over and over again. Knowing these thoughts only got worse over time left a bad taste in his mouth. He never wanted to use you for anything, least of all sex. His body wanted you, but his heart...his heart was unsure.

What changed? When did the line between lust and love divert? And why, when he thought of you, did he feel...nothing anymore? 

He would even go as far as to say there was a smidgen of contempt. That’s what was making him irritated. His heart was slowly beginning to dislike you, dislike your stubbornness, your pushiness, even your clumsy nature was grating on his nerves. All those times of you being a fool were true, through and through. You were oblivious to dangers. Not at all patient. Too dim-witted to see your true self, so you relied on others - relied on him - to bring it out of you.

It was annoying, yes. He was not someone to seek attention from. Yet, he couldn’t just say this to you. You’d get upset, cry about it, no doubt. Lotor just didn’t feel the want to deal with your wayward self again. He felt as if he was spending TOO much of his time catering to you and it no longer left a good, fluttery feeling in his chest. In fact, it left him feeling emotionally drained.

What he thought was friendship, or something more, was actually neither of those.

Perhaps that was why he still hasn’t taken that journal out from the drawer.

The two of you were drifting apart.

You finally managed to have at least a few minutes with him. Albeit, yes, it was by pure chance that your curious exploring led you to the same secretive balcony deep within the castle grounds. But, now that you were here, it felt a little awkward to be staring at his broad back. How do you start this? It hurt to realize you were hesitating talking to your best friend.

You were concerned for him, deeply concerned, but how do you say this without saying it?

“Did you follow me?”

The timber of his voice was a little deeper than you remembered. Taking careful steps, you walked up besides him and leaned on the stone railing with your hands hanging off the edge. Stiff, you were both stiff, or maybe it was the trick of the chilly night. The air didn’t feel as warm as it did before.

“No way, how do I know you didn’t follow me, huh?” the accusatory tone didn’t fall on deaf ears, but Lotor didn’t return the usual amusement.

“You should not be out this late. It is past curfew hours.”

It was hard to keep your mood from turning sour at his terse answers, but you had to remind yourself that this was Lotor. Your best friend. You missed him, even this moody side of him. Perhaps another joke would help? Maybe some light hearted teasing?

“Oh, c’mon, classes are over. What’s wrong with a little midnight adventure? Last one too exciting for you?”

Nothing. Not even a blink.

“I know what you are trying to do,” Lotor’s shoulders slumped and finally, he looked at you straight in the eyes, “I suggest you stop while you are ahead.”

The words spilled out of your mouth faster than you could stop them, “Lotor, I’m just trying to help.”

“Did I ask for it?”

“No, but - damn it, you helped me. Why can’t I do the same for you?”

Annoyance. That was all you could see flit across his face and it stung deep within your chest. You tried to put on your best pleading expression, something to show that you really were worried about him, about his distant self, about his walls being rebuilt brick by brick. This wasn’t like him, not at all.

“People usually help out of the goodness of their heart, not as some sort of debt to repay. ”

“That’s not what I meant. I just - you’re acting different.”

Again, wrong words to say. You knew it, you felt the sudden shift in the air. Saw the way his jaw clenched in restrained control and how his eyes hooded low in a paralyzing glare. Pushing, you were pushing too much, and Lotor was getting very uncomfortable. And, as usual, with his discomfort came the need to...protect himself. Retaliate with words to disarm you completely.

“Oh? And you are unhappy with this ‘different’ side of me? Is that why you seek to help change me back?”

“No! Of course not, Lotor. When I wasn’t myself, you showed me - look, I don’t know what’s going on with you - “

“No. You do not. Perhaps you should have been more observant,” he sneered at you, hitting hard at the fact you were an airhead most of the times.

You brushed off his comment, but it left a lingering ache in your heart, “Or you could just - WE could just talk. Just one night, get whatever it is off your chest and I’ll do the same.”

“No.”

You anticipated the answer before even offering the suggestion, especially knowing deep down that neither of you would be comfortable with speaking so openly about emotions. Foolish, you weren’t thinking ahead, thinking about what you were saying before letting it slip from your tongue. Talking to him like this was insufferably frustrating. It was wearing down your patience, HIS patience, but your stubborn persistence is what would tip the breaking point. You were never aware of this.

“Then what do you want to do, Lotor?”

“Is it not obvious?”

Again, his voice was being degrading and part of you wanted to scoff at him.

“I came here by myself for a reason.”

You could at least piece two and two together, even if the sharp edges left biting wounds on your skin.

“...You want to be alone,” you finished for him, sad you had to say those words out loud for both of you to hear.

Lotor needed time to sort out...whatever this was. And, judging by the way he averted every single one of your questions, this had nothing to do with you. Nothing you COULD do, except give him the space he needed unless you want to find yourself facing the brunt of his cold shoulder and burning words again.

You hated this feeling, this feeling of being rejected. Shunned.

“Fine. I’ll give you your space.”

“Thank you.”

Lotor sure didn’t sound truly thankful, but at this point, you didn’t much care. If isolation was his way to handle things, then you would let him do it. Even if it cost you the friendship and whatever feelings evolved between you two. Something that neither of you got the chance to further explore. That revelation made the pit in your stomach sink in sadness.

The hot, angry tears of frustration wouldn’t stop falling down your cheeks as you turned and marched away from him.

[whetstonefires]

d gray man liveblog part 4! (part 1)(part 2)(part 3)

No but seriously, Cyril Camelot is the English Foreign Minister and just staged an assassination attempt on himself for an excuse to declare war on the people he just spent a while negotiating an agreement with.

Why? In what way does this benefit the Noahs?

(...why is the name of the country censored, I feel like hoshino-san just didn’t want to try to come up with a plausible European country for England to go to war with in 18-mumblety.)

I mean Bookman says tragedy breeds akuma in his analysis, but they took Japan while it was so emphatically not at war that it had zero foreign relations at all; war is clearly not necessary for the Earl’s bargains to go through apace.

Cyril kind of looks like he just does this shit for fun.

...”the evil man who made the world his enemy” is a fascinating choice of words, Tykki Mik, I really wonder very hard about you.

And you’re right, when he’s not wearing his balloon costume, and talking normally, and buying flowers from little girls, he looks normal! Weird how that works.

Question: is that umbrella he declined so he could walk in the rain Lero? Does Lero have to share the Earl with other umbrellas outside of official monster business, or disguise himself as a normal bumpershoot when out in public? Is that servant another disguised akuma, or a normal person who has no idea?

...it’s probably an akuma.

YAY KRORY WAKE UP!

why so many chain. it’s not like he lost track of who his enemies were in that last fight, even when he was made of blood. rude to chain.

aw he cry. he cry! ;_; he cry for his friends!

this is the kind of sad boy i like. he can be annoying but not in, you know, a murdery way.

holy shit creepy ghost girl?! i...logically must have read this part before but i don’t remember it, damn i was bingeing like a mad thing.

where...where did the poison come from. why is Krory’s arm sticking out like that. what is going on.

Why Are The Order So Bad.

aaaaand cut to the kind of random hijinks that seem intended to lift the mood but tbh they’re kind of too grim in their own right.

lmao alternately this is an excuse to draw kanda and lavi as chibis and Allen with long hair.

If it’s not because of structural damage, why are they moving to a new base? No one’s said anything about the new headquarters being any more secure against frickin’ teleportation. Maybe the Pope just wants the Order distracted with moving chores?

(I like referring to the higher-ups at the Vatican as the Pope; I realize we have no actual evidence the actual Pope even knows any of this is happening, but if hoshino is gonna be having people shout that other people are ‘property of the Pope’ i’m gonna use the word Pope as often as I can get away with because

1) it makes the whole thing more ridiculous b) it emphasizes the European Gothic Via Japan vibe going on here which is at least 20% of the entertainment value and thirdly, ‘Pope’ is fun to say.)

Oh, right, Allen’s ongoing identity crisis! (it only gets worse from here, kid)

The bosses were logically correct to make Cross Marian do his ‘report to Vatican and be responsible’ part before giving him the pay-off of ‘allowed to talk to Allen’ because otherwise he’d just fuck off but damn it’s hard on the kid, being left hanging.

I absolutely do not believe for one second this business with Mana’s past and secret motives was planned before the series started, but that’s honestly for the best; it’s more wrenching when we didn’t have any more reason than Allen to suspect something was off.

...i like when nice clowns adopt people tho... :o(

not telling the brass or their stooge about your creepy extra reflection was a Good Call.

yes link really truly allen is a good kid who is not plotting evil shit. sheesh.

more Potion Accident gags, i’m sorry, i can’t keep up with your taste in mood whiplash and i never liked most slapstick anyway. the bunny ears are. strange.

...never mind who made the ‘talk like a cat’ potion, who packed that box Miranda spilled; that is such an absurd chaotic collection of items organize your shit people. eesh.

Lmao everyone’s #1 creepy ghost theory is, Komui Playing A Dumb Prank.

...okay, Allen’s reaction as the Matron gnaws on his arm, and the fact that everyone’s first assumption is that Allen has annoyed this very sensible woman to the point that she is communicating via teeth, manages to be funny but noooooo, why would you, not Awesome Shoes Lady after she made it through the Level 4 Akuma attack unscathed, come onnnnnn.

okay, uhhh...contagious vampirism zombie thing...lmao everyone gets worried about matron when she bites Miranda, everyone is super embarrassed when Miranda bites Noise, this is just some impressive Not Realizing Shit’s Fucked guys.

okay, zombie horde of various survivors of all the recent massacres.

uh, if this weren’t being dropped at a time of total emotional exhaustion, it would work better. it’s already working better the second time around for the fact that i took a break after the last arc.

considering it comes out monthly and we had a Noah interlude, it probably worked in the original context just fine, but daaaaaamn did this storyline piss me off the first time, all i even remember about it is the rage.

:D Lenalee rescued Tiny Kanda. Who for some reason can interpret her ‘nyah’ sounds.

...how is a stimulant drug contagious via biting.

i remember the first time i read this i naturally assumed the biting disease was derived from Krory. that still would have made more sense.

robot eats notebook, lol...bickering...”my pride won’t allow me to become a zombie” yes allen excellent logic you weirdo.

okay i’m done checking back in when slightly less stupid shit starts happening....

okay never mind the robot’s fireworks blew Allen through a wall, where Krory was suffering in chains, and then the blanket spontaneously combusted, and then there was somebody with an axe...

...and then Allen wakes up and is informed he was knocked out and concludes Krory’s situation was a dream oh come on.

krory is at the door! but being creepy! the robot refuses to open the door out of self-preservation! allen seduces the robot into risking its life!

...

‘this is nostalgic’ with the hero face on i can’t.

okay, so it was Krory, who apparently swallowed the entire bottle of poison, lid included? for some reason?

oh great there’s a parasitic zombie ghost thing riding Reever and sticking its face out his stomach. horror! nope, now played for laughs.

aaaand suddenly veering back into pathos. bonus info about evil human experiments!

...aaaaaand touching bonding moment for the Lees. Aww.

Not only is Komui protective and self-sacrificing, when he isn’t being psychopathic, he has absolved Lenalee of his having sacrificed his entire life to watch over her after she was kidnapped into this.

then a stupid gag! and the ghost does a creepy jealous possession thing! and meanwhile everything is on fire.

et cetera, mood whiplash back and forth at least once every other page...komui starts reciting from memory the names of every single person killed in the Order’s human experiments...

...i don’t think the names are intended as an additional gag, but most of them are fairly odd and many downright improbable, though none truly syllable-mashing outrageous. I’m rather fond of Asia Smet and Oona Boelyn.

a page and a half of heart-rending pathos, and then the robot falls off the ceiling with a huge syringe of ‘vaccine’ it synthesized from Krory’s blood because he was the first infected by the...stimulant...egad, that’s not how any of that works.

and then, and then...anyway then everyone was zombies and the boss from China came in off-panel and fixed everything, as you do.

i truly hate you hoshino katsura, all the more for the fact that i genuinely loved about 15% of that parade of neck-wrenching bullshit.

anyway! that’s all over and done with, we are now on a boat being cute, because allen is using the stolen teleportation Ark that only he can drive to open a door between the old Castle headquarters and this...uh...cave? that they’re moving into.

...oh hey Shadow Of Allen (XIV) is now sporting wings remarkably like the ones Krory had during his drugged vampire zombie freak-out. i bet that means nothing whatsoever.

man whenever Leverrierererererer turns up i hallucinate ominous music. smug assholish ominous music. slimier sounding than the Imperial March, you know?

that’s not just my biases, hoshino-san lights the panels very effectively to create that effect. egad, he’s going to be in command??? is that why the move, because it was easier to undermine komui’s authority if he was removed from his entrenched power base?

...we just covered last chapter that that castle was a leverrier family fortress originally tho. huh.

excessively creepy secret Pope police involved in isolating and depowering Allen.

also lol that is very Japanese-style religious magic going on, that is not what a Catholic ritual binding would look like at all. not that they have as much settled precedent, their demon-fighting standards run much more toward ‘make it go away.’

aw shit komui’s right there and he can’t do shit, best he can get is a promise that ‘if Allen is a good child’ he won’t die.

flashback! aw man allen the first lesson mana ever taught you was to make peace with the dead and let them lie. should’ve listened.

...man allen was a grouchy brat. i wonder what color his hair was, before it went white. haha apparently he acquired his adoptive dad by running away from the circus with him.

pfffffft little allen hated clowns, that achieves the level of actual irony...welp, suicide joke.

aw shit mana was too burned out on grief to cry for his dog but allen could, for the doggie that licked his hand once. imma cry now.

whoa actual conversation with Cross Marian! under the supervision of papal ninjas (known as Crow) within a magic cage of paper. and wow! an actual answer to a question! unprecedented!

...it isn’t labeled which of these kids was Mana and which was (the most recent incarnation of??) the Fourteenth but imma hazard a guess that the one with hair that matches little Allen’s is not Mana.

oh also Adam Puddinghead killed the 14th, i don’t think we officially knew that until now? or maybe it came up when he blew up Edo i don’t recall.

oh my god i was definitely bingeing too hard last time; by the time Cross Marian started referring to the 14th in the second person to Allen my capacity to be astonished or distressed was burned right the fuck out. i was just like ‘yeah yeah figured get on with it.’

it’s actually a pretty dramatic scene, but it’s weird to be getting this shit in straightforward exposition after all this absence of any information at all.

wait “the human implanted with” ... “the host for his revival” ... i can’t tell if Cross Marian is referring to whatever the normal noah transfer process is or some way 14 found of circumventing that.

ohhhhhh man this title page has tiny clown Allen and it is the cutest shit ever.

did i ever tell you guys one time when my mom was two and a half, she had her stage debut as the cutest little pigtailed clown? and she ran onstage toward her daddy just like they’d practiced and the whole audience burst into delighted laughter.

and Tiny!Mom turned to look at them in appalled horror, and u-turned right back around and ran offstage again.

no one had successfully communicated to her she was going to be laughed at by a bunch of strangers. possibly they didn’t expect a toddler to mind.

oh sure Cross Marian, tell the kid the horrifying truth about himself and his dad in the most overdramatic way possible, in front of witnesses, and then when he dissociates in horror just beat the shit out of him until he resets.

the amount of playing abuse for laughs in this series is one of the many emotional strains that led me to drop it the first time.

it’s honestly a contest sometimes who i currently hate most, Marian, you or Labradorito or the Earl. Ech.

‘no idea’ tch. but if you’re saying he implanted his memories into Allen before he died, then...the Earl caught up with the 14th really recently, then?! How long were he and Mana on the run? I totally forgot these details, wow. i suspect some of them will turn out to be false.

...why the fuck are you saying it like this? bastard.

wow CM you almost look spooked by the fact that allen cares more about the possibility that his dad never actually loved him than the prospect of having his mind eaten.

maybe he’d care more about the mind-eating if the 14th was the Earl’s ally instead of planning to use allen as a weapon to kill him? allen is already using himself as a weapon to kill the Earl.

oop, way to get him back on target! “what if i told you you’ll kill the people you care about?”

aaaand cut.

that was like ten chapters’ worth of blather, i need to get more efficient.

[masterofpuglets]

I was tagged by @metal-is-life091, thank you! 

Post the rules

✰ answer the questions given to you by the tagger

✰ write eleven questions of your own

✰ tag eleven people

1. If you could pick any three bands (doesn’t matter if they’re still together) to play at a festival, what would be your dream line-up?Metallica, Pantera and Iron Maiden.

2. If you could pick any guitarist to teach you to play guitar, who would you pick? James Hetfield or Dimebag Darrell.

3. Do you have/want any tattoos? I don’t currently have any. I would like to get a Metallica related one at some point.

4. Do you play/want to play any instrument? I play a little guitar (badly).

5. If you could visit any place, where would you go first? Ooh difficult question! I’d like to go to Iceland to see the Northern Lights.

6. What would you do if you randomly met your favorite band member on the street? Scream internally and have a battle in my head about whether i go up and disturb them or not (i’m way too polite lol).

7. Is there an album or song that changed your life? If so which is it?Well i suppose TBA changed my life in a way, it introduced me to Metallica and the joy i get from being a fan of this damn band in a way no other band ever has as well as introducing me to metal. 

8. Fav era James? Oh no, this is so hard as there is something i love about each era James! Ok, it is probably MOP era James, but i would also add Justice era James, Load era James and current James. 

9. Fav drink? Non alcoholic - Hot Chocolate. Alcoholic - Jack Daniels Honey or Baileys. 

10. What was the best concert you went to? Metallica at the 02, London, October 2017. That wasn’t even just because i met them, it was honestly one of the best nights i’ve had. Even when i listen to the gig now i get a huge smile on my face. 

11. If you had a time machine what time would you go to and what would you do? Not gonna lie, i would go back to the 80s and see Metallica live with Cliff on the Damage Inc. tour. 

I was tagged by @gu1tar-l0ver​, thank you! 

1. Who is your favorite band? Some little known band called Metallica.

2. Who is your favorite guitar player? James Hetfield for his Rhythm playing, Dimebag Darrell for his lead playing.

3. Do you play any instruments? As above, i play a little guitar.

4. If so, why?/If not, why not? Why do i play guitar? I always wanted to, but my parents never had the spare cash to buy me one or send me for lessons. I finally decided to teach myself back in 2014, but it is a struggle with my short stubby fingers i admit and i should practice more but i waste my time on the internet instead. I keep looking at my guitar and thinking i should get back into it as it’s a nice stress reliever to just jam along to songs. I just wish i had learnt earlier. 

5. Who is your idol in life? I wouldn’t say i have an idol as such. James is a pretty big inspiration though. 

6. Who is your favorite bass player? The amazing Cliff Burton. 

7. If you could go and see any concert from the past, who would you wanna see? Again as above, i would go back to 1986 and see Metallica with Cliff on the Damage Inc. tour. 

8. What got you into the music you love? My husband is totally to blame! It was him who turned me on to Metallica and then Metal in general. I’ve always had a love for rock and 80s music though thanks to my Mum and Step Dad. 

9. What is your favorite guitar solo? Oh my, there are so many to choose from! Ok as it’s something i’m considering having as a tattoo, i’m going to say James’s beauitful solo from To Live is To Die. I tear up every time. 

10. Classic rock or current rock? Classic rock.

11. If you could be in a band, would you be? Yes. Although i get terrible anxiety about talking to a crowd of people letting alone playing in front of a huge crowd! 

I was tagged by @motleycruesixx Thank you! 

1. What’s your favorite season? Autumn. 

2. If you could attend any concert (past, present, or future) which one would it be? See my answers above! 

3. What’s your song of the day? I woke up with Moth into Flame going around my head, so that i guess lol. 

4. What color are your eyes? Blue.

5. What’s your favorite thing to do? Eat and sleep hahaha. 

6. If you could resurrect any musician, who would it be? I’d resurrect Cliff. 

7. Which album(s) have you been listening to lately? God this literally sounds like all i listen to is Metallica hahaha (which isn’t far from the truth), but i’ve lately been listening to Load a lot. 

8. What’s your favorite type of weather? Blue skies, sunny but with a chill in the air. 

9. If you could meet any musician, who would it be and why? Well seeing as i’ve been lucky enough to meet 3 of out of 4 members of Metallica, the obvious answer to this question is James! I just think he would be so interesting to talk to and i would just like to thank him.

10. Which are better; cassettes or vinyls? Vinyl

11. What’s your opinion on glam metal? It’s okay, i don’t mind a bit of Crue etc!

I was tagged by @louder-than-love Thank  you!

1. what’s your zodiac sign? Capricorn

2. can you curl your tongue? Yes.

3. a band/ an artist you hate for no apparent reason? I wouldn’t say hate, but i can’t stand Sam Smith. His songs are too whiney for me. 

5. a city/ country you always wanted to visit? San Francisco.

6. what was the name of your first best friend? Rachael.

7. do you like pineapple on pizza? I do. 

8. what’s your favorite piece of clothing? Any of my Metallica shirts lol. 

9. when did you join tumblr? June 2017

10. the last song you listened to? Dragula - Rob Zombie. 

11. your favourite band(s) from the 70s? Queen. 

Ok, so my 11 questions are:

1. Last movie you watched?

2. Favourite TV show?

3) Least favourite Metallica album?

4) If you could be anyone for a day, who would it be and why? 

5) Favourite song from your favourite album? 

6) Last book you read?

7) If you could play any instrument, what would it be and why?

8) How did you discover your favourite band?

9) Which, if any, bands/artists are you hoping to see live this year? 

10) Name one thing you are looking forward to in 2018.

11) Vinyl, cassette, cd or downloads? 

I tag @dgrace29, @flyinghetfield @metalliocalypse @oceanmachine @jaymzcatfield @theshrewdone @kierrapeterson @backtothefront @magnifying--glass @hetfieldswhore @so-wake-up-sleepy-one

[huahsu]

YEAR OF WHAT HAPPENS ON EARTH STAYS ON EARTH

[longer version of what I contributed to the new yorker’s year-end package. you can read that here, and listen to the accompanying megamix the video team made! links to previous year’s lists at bottom.] I did not grow up going to church, and I am not a particularly religious person. A few days after the inauguration, I wandered into a nearby church and took a seat in the back pews. I’d gone there right after the election. There was some time for anyone with anything on their mind to stand up and speak. If you need others to pray for you, just let us know. A middle-aged black man in a leather jacket got up and began telling us about an argument he was having with a friend on Facebook. It was about the election, but it was actually about the intractability of racism. He was getting frustrated while describing it to us, in part because he seemed to value being the cool and level-headed one. Plus he was describing the kind of argument millions of people were having on the Internet. “I just hope he finds peace,” the guy said. He paused, then put his hands on his chest. “On a lighter note, today would have been Jimi Hendrix’s seventy-fourth birthday.” He opened up his leather jacket to show everyone his Hendrix t-shirt. “I just wanted to say that, because he was just awesome.” So I returned here, the day after marching through Manhattan with a poster that said “HOLD ON, BE STRONG.” I needed to be in a room that was powered by something other than hate--to be reminded of vision and purpose, even if they weren’t mine to claim. To listen to wisdom gleaned from a book I’ve never read, and pick and choose what I wanted. To hear others pour themselves into songs I never, ever sing along to. I wanted to steal their vibes.  Instead of a hymn, they passed out small pieces of paper with the lyrics of John Lennon’s “Imagine.” This is not the type of church people come to for the music. The pianist started playing, and I remember thinking about how it felt like magic when I learned how to play those chords as a kid. I couldn’t believe we were doing this. We sang, tentatively at first, as though we could not believe these words in this space. Picture it: singing of “no heaven” and “no religion, too,” with humility and hope, inside a house of worship. It was like an admission that faith was inadequate. All we had was one another. “Imagine” is a song I’ve heard millions of times, the type of song that is so ubiquitous that we rarely bother scrutinizing its words, its vantage point, the possibility that someone wrote these words because he actually believed them. I sang along with a room of strangers, and we looked at one another, and, for the first time in months, I began to cry.   TWO LYRICS THAT REMINDED ME OF POLITICS EVEN IF THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH POLITICS "Wrote this shit January 21″ “Take me back to November / Take me back to November” “I’M AN ANGRY TEENAGER” Novelist, “Street Politician” ONCE THEY START, I HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE END Jim O’Rourke’s recently unearthed cover of Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car” Kanye’s sitcom-length remix of “Bed” THURSDAY NIGHTS ON NBC Ross from Friends’ very Madchester guitar-y Boiler Room set DJ Seinfeld, Time Spent Away from U Nino Man, Jadakiss and Styles P, “Friends”

IN ANOTHER YEAR FULL OF NIRVANA/KURT COBAIN REFERENCES (DID YOU SEE JAY:Z’S JACKET?) MY FAVORITE SONG, PROBABLY: this Trippie Redd snippet

SOME VERSIONS OF THE NINETIES THAT WILL NEVER COME BACK THE WAY GRUNGE ENNUI HAS, BUT WERE SO POSSIBILITY-RICH TO ME BACK THEN Kicking Giant, This Being the Ballad of Kicking Giant, Halo: NYC/Olympia 1989-1993 Helium, The Dirt of Luck/The Magic City LIKE MANY WHO LOVED “A STORM IN HEAVEN,” I OVERLOOKED THEM AT THE TIME Acetone, 1992-2001 A REALLY GOOD BOOK ABOUT ACETONE, LOS ANGELES, DREAMS OF GREATNESS Sam Sweet, Hadley Lee Lightcap WOULD HAVE LOVED THIS IN 1994, 2002 OR 2017 Big Thief, Capacity CREDIBLE AND DOPE EARLY NINETIES R&B HOMAGE, SAX AND ALL Joyce Wrice, “Good Morning” SPEAKING OF THE NINETIES, LEECH MADE A MIXTAPE OF JUST THE FLOATY/DREAMY PARTS TAKEN FROM CLASSIC GOOD LOOKING/MOVING SHADOW SINGLES Leech, “Just the Liquid” FOR THE COMEDOWN, DARK-ASS STUFF ASSEMBLED EXCLUSIVELY FROM SLIPKNOT SAMPLES Croww, Prosthetics NOSTALGIA, ULTRA (UK GARAGE/BASSLINE EDITION) tqd, ukg SUMMERTIME ‘SECOND SUMMER OF LOVE’ VIBE Opus III, “It’s a Fine Day (Burt Fox remix)” UNEXPECTED BURIAL SUMMERTIME VIBES Monic, “Deep Summer (Burial remix)” NO REISSUE OR  tk ANNIVERSARY TIE-IN, JUST SOME OLD SONGS I RE/DISCOVERED THIS YEAR Active Minds, “Hobson’s Choice” El-B, “El-Brand” Kamal Abdul Alim, “Brotherhood” Spiritualized in Reykjavik  U2, “Numb (Soul Assassins remix)” U2, “Mysterious Ways (Massive Attack remix)”

SAME, BUT TAIWANESE INDIE ROCK EDITION Chocolate Tiger, “Piecing Together” REISSUES, OR: PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN WEIRD AND SPACY#, OBSESSED WITH NATURAL BEAUTY## # Planetary Peace, Synthesis # Pauline Anna Strom, Trans-Millennia Music ## Pep Llopis, Poiemusia La Nau Dels Argonaut REISSUES, OR: WHEN I WAS A CHILD THERE WERE NO BETTER SONGS THAN THE ONES THAT PLAYED THROUGH TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE AND FOR SOME REASON THIS JOYOUS EP REMIND ME OF THAT SHEEN, THOSE HOOKS, THE PERFECT, THEATER-SIZED ECHO Om Alec Khaoli, Say You Love Me BEST ALBUM-LENGTH METAPHOR FOR THE CITY, ITS LIMITATIONS AND POSSIBILITIES Wiki, No Mountains In Manhattan SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE IT WAS DESCRIBED, JAMAICA VIA OUTER SPACE Equiknoxx, Colon Man I NEED TO GO OUT MORE Jex Opolis, “Mt. Belzoni” KH, “Question”

I LISTENED TO THIS ABOUT TEN TIMES, MY SENSE OF ENCHANTMENT GROWING AND GROWING EACH TIME, BEFORE REALIZING THERE WERE BARELY ANY DRUMS ON IT Mr. Mitch, Devout SERIOUSLY THE MR. MITCH ALBUM WAS REALLY MOVING AND FANTASTIC Mr. Mitch f/ Denai Moore, “Fate” CRAZY WISDOM MASTER Vince Staples, Big Fish Theory C’MON AND RAISE UP Rapsody f/ Kendrick, Lance Skiiwalker, “Power” SO ICEY Zomby, Mercury’s Rainbow ECHO PARTY Demen, Nektyr Evy Jane, “Give Me Love” THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST Vic Mensa, The Autobiography DUNGEON FAMILY, EVEN IN DARKNESS Earthgang f/ J.I.D., “Meditate” FUNNY HOW TIME SLIPS AWAY Lee Gamble, Mnestic Pressure Pessimist, s/t NOT SURE HOW THIS BECAME THE DIWALI OF 2017 BUT OKAY French Montana f/ Mariah, Rae Sremmurd, PNB Rock, Belly, Elephant Man, Vybz Kartel, J Balvin, NORE, Wizkid, “Unforgettable” HOW ARE THIS MANY PEOPLE ON A FOUR MINUTE SONG? GOOD VIDEO THOUGH A$AP Mob f/ A$AP Rocky, Playboi Carti, Quavo, Lil Uzi Vert and Frank Ocean, “RAF” I LIKE IT WHEN FERG’S VOICE GETS ALL NAGGY Ferg, “Plain Jane” METRO BOOMIN MADE A BEAT THAT REMINDED ME OF RADIOHEAD Post Malone f/ Quavo, “Congratulations” THE MARIACHI VERSION IS PRETTY SWEET Brian Imanuel, “How I surprised Post Malone with a mariachi band” ”IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR LYRICS, IF YOU’RE LOOKING TO CRY, IF YOU’RE LOOKING TO THINK ABOUT LIFE...” JonWayne, Rap Album Two CORNBALL PIANOS AND THEN THAT SYNTH DRAGS, AND THEN THE DRUMS KICK Tee Grizzley, “First Day Out” “BUT WILD/WITH MY MONOTONE STYLE” 21 Savage, “Bankroll” Kodak Black, “Candy Paint” Rich Chigga, “Glow Like Dat” ANNUAL SPOT RESERVED FOR LA MUSICA DE HARRY FRAUD French Montana f/ Pharrell, “Bring Dem Things” WHEN LAETITIA SAYS HER OWN NAME ON “EMBERS” Vagabon, Infinite Worlds WHEN JESSIE LEANS INTO THE WORD “FUCK” Jessie Reyez, “Figures” THAT LIGHT MISTING, THAT CASUAL SPRITZ OF SYNTHS Lanark Artefax, “Touch Absence” A GOOD ANTI-DJT THING THAT CAME OUT EARLY THIS YEAR, WHICH FEELS LIKE EONS AGO Lushlife + friends, My Idols are Dead + My Enemies are in Power THE BABY, THE FLUTES, PIERRE’S OBNOXIOUSLY LONG TAG, THE JESSE LINGARD DANCE Playboi Carti, “Magnolia” ILLEST SHIT I SAW THIS YEAR, BABY-RELATED A child at a restaurant watching an iPad and an iPhone at the same damn time “[FREE] PLAYBOI CARTI TYPE BEAT” YBN Nahmir, “Rubbin off the Paint” GUNS N ROSES, BEFORE ONE OF THE WEIRDEST BEEFS OF THE YEAR Trippie Redd f/ 6IX9INE, “POLES1469″ SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE YOU CAN SING, AND DO IT WITH CONVICTION, AND I WILL LISTEN Trippie Redd, “Rack City/Love Scars 2″ ALL THE BACKGROUND NOISE/ECHOED-OUT ADLIBS MAKE THIS BlocBoy JB, “No Chorus Pt 10″ SMERZ HAS FUN DESPITE THE AWKWARD OF IT ALL Smerz on NTS IT SEEMS REALLY EASY TO MAKE A GOOD-SOUNDING SONG THESE DAYS Global Dan, “Off White” OF ALL THE DOPE SHIT THAT FUTURE APPEARED ON THIS YEAR, THE MOMENT I WILL REMEMBER IS That tiny pause before he sings “I need fresh air,” when he seems happy and content IS THAT A GEORGE MICHAEL SAMPLE? Mozzy, “Prayed for This” THE FIX C Struggs, “Go to Jesus” "IT’S COOL, BUT IT’S NOT...END ZONE” Lil Uzi Vert, “XO TOUR Llif3″ AN ALBUM BOOKENDED BY TOTALLY DIFFERENT KINDS OF COLIN KAEPERNICK/TAKE A KNEE REFERENCES Miguel, War and Leisure IT WAS A VERY GOOD YEAR Brockhampton, Saturation I-III SZA, Ctrl SPEAKING OF SZA: WHAT A GREAT TITLE, BESIDES IT BEING ONE OF MY FAVORITE ALBUMS OF THE YEAR Kingdom, Tears in the Club THE KELELA ALBUM WAS LOVELY, AS ARE THESE Kelela x Bok Bok, Dub Me Apart A RANDOM YOUTUBE COVER THAT I ALSO LIKED, BECAUSE IT CAPTURED HOW MELODIC THE ORIGINAL ACTUALLY IS Kathleen Nguyen covering Kendrick and Zacari’s “Love.” DAMN. WAS GOOD Almost as good as “The Heart Part 4″ LIKE A DE LA SOUL ALBUM, SOMETHING THAT I KNOW I WILL CONTINUE ENJOYING/UNDERSTANDING ANEW FOR YEARS TO COME Tyler, the Creator, Flower Boy ”BLONDED RADIO” MADE ME JOIN APPLE MUSIC Frank Ocean, “Chanel” Frank Ocean, “Biking (solo)” Tyler and Frank, “Where This Flower Blooms” MACH HOMMY MAKES GOOD MUSIC THAT’S HARD TO ACCESS “x Earl Sweatshirt” EP ty Soundcloud IT’S A WEIRD TIME B/W THIS BEAT IS SO DEMENTED Tay-K, “The Race” PROBABLY MY FAVORITE PHARRELL BEAT Kap G f/ Pharrell, “Icha Gicha” MAYBE THE GREATEST MUSIC EVER MADE, REISSUED Pharoah Sanders

REMINDED ME OF PHAROAH, WHEN IT WASN’T REMINDING ME OF BON IVER Joseph Shabason, Aytche AND I ENJOYED AYTCHE FOR SIMILAR REASONS I LIKED ZONING OUT TO Tom Rogerson and Brian Eno, Finding Shore ANNUAL SLOT RESERVED FOR MUSIC I LOVED THAT FEATURED HARP Alice Coltrane, World Spirituality Classics Vol 1

SAME, BUT FOR HARP STUFF THAT ALSO SHOUTS OUT WAWA Mary Lattimore, Collected Pieces ANNUAL SLOT RESERVED FOR TASTEFUL VIBRAPHONE Jenifa Mayanja, “Warrior Strutt” YOU TRYING TO GET THE PIPE, TO PLAY IT, OF COURSE, AS PART OF AN EXPERIMENTAL COMPOSITION? Mary Jane Leach, Pipe Dreams THERE’S A MOMENT DURING THAT BAD BOY DOCUMENTARY CAN’T STOP WON’T STOP WHERE IT BECOMES CLEAR THAT EVERYONE WHO WORKS CLOSELY WITH DIDDY EVENTUALLY TURNS TO GOD, AND IT WAS LIKE THE STRANGE OBVERSE OF Jay Z et al, 4:44 footnotes 2016, BUT I SAT IN THE MET BREUER AND WATCHED THIS OVER AND OVER FOR ABOUT AN HOUR Arthur Jafa, “Love is the Message, The Message is Death” I WANT TO WATCH THE FULL FOUR HOURS OF THIS Dev Hynes talking to Philip Glass TRICKSTERY BUT KINDA MESMERIZING! Klein, Tommy Lolina, Lolita EP Hype Williams, Rainbow Edition “NOT ANOTHER GOT MORE SEOUL, UNLESS YOU KOREAN” (CHILLWAVE REMIX) Mogwaa, Deja Vu “THE TING GOES SKRRRAHH, PAP, PAP, KA-KA-KA/SKIDIKI-PAP-PAP, AND A PU-PU-PUDRRRR-BOOM/SKYA, DU-DU-KU-KU-DUN-DUN/POOM, POOM, YOU DON’ KNOW” Big Shaq, “Mans Not Hot” IBID., BUT “PERKY” Drake, More Life I WANTED TO LIKE THE WIZKID ALBUM MORE, BUT THIS WAS AWESOME Tiwa Savage f/ Wizkid and Spellz, “Ma Lo” LISTENED TO THIS QUITE A FEW TIMES SIMPLY BECAUSE ”BREAKING NEWS: WILD GOAT ON THE LOOSE” IS A WEIRD LINE Lancey Foux f/ AJ Tracey, Kojey Radical and Jevon, “Wild Goat” UNITED TIL I DIE BUT AJ TRACEY’S TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR KIT LAUNCH FREESTYLE HAD ME BUZZZZZZIN AJ Tracey, “False 9″ DIFFERENT TIME OF DAY, KINDA LEFT ME SPEECHLESS Grouper, “Children” Colleen, A Flame my love, a frequency Kara Lis Coverdale, Grafts Ryuichi Sakamoto, async LEFT RYUICHI SAKAMOTO ENVIOUS Metaphors: Selected Soundworks from the Cinema of Apichatpong Weerasethakul FROM OMNI TRIO TO THIS, A PRETTY VISIONARY CAREER Robert Haigh, Creatures of the Deep A SONG THAT FEATURED TWO PEOPLE WHO SHOULD BE PRETTY BIG IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF YEARS DJDS f/ Amber Mark and Marco McKinnis, “Trees on Fire” LIKE, THIS IS GREAT Amber Mark, “Lose My Cool” AWESOME YEAR FOR POTIONS Social Lovers, “Drop Me a Line” Boss, “Song for Gods” WHISKED ME BACK TO MEMORIES OF the enormous room Joakim, “Samurai” Calvin Harris f/ Frank Ocean and Migos, “Slide” Amp Fiddler, “I’m Feeling You” Chaos in the CBD, Accidental Meetings LIKE FALLING ASLEEP ON THE SUBWAY, OR A TRUCK HITTING A POTHOLE AND SPITTING OUT A RECORD COLLECTION, OR HEARING A NANOSECOND OF BRAND NUBIAN THROUGH SOMEONE’S HEADPHONES AS YOU PASS THEM ON THE STREET, IT’S A VIBE Standing on the Corner, Red Burns MIKE’S A SAVIOR Mike 1. I SPENT A LOT OF TIME THIS YEAR THINKING ABOUT THE STRENGTH, ELASTICITY, FRAGILITY, GRAIN OF THE HUMAN VOICE AND SOME OF THIS WAS TOTALLY NECESSARY AND SUBLIME Deep Throat Choir, Be Ok Diamanda Galas, All the Way Moses Sumney, Aromanticism 2. SO ACHINGLY GOOD AND INTIMATE, ESPECIALLY THAT FAINT CROAK IN THE FIRST CHORUS Rostam f/ Kelly Zutrau, “Half-Light” 3. OF COURSE THESE WORLD-MAKERS TOO Bjork, Utopia Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith, The Kid Valerie June, “Astral Plane” 3a. A STRANGE PROPOSITION THAT I ENDED UP ADORING KAS covering Sade’s "By Your Side" THE BAY AREA IS JUST DIFFERENT Droop-E, Trillionaire Thoughts Lil B, Black Ken THE “BUILD YOU UP” VIDEO WAS FUN AND ALL BUT I’M REALLY GLAD THIS WASN’T THAT Kamiayah, Before I Wake THE BAY TO L.A. AND BACK AGAIN Mozzy f/ G Perico, “Blammatory” G Perico f/ Mozzy, “What’s Real” GYEAH MC Eiht, Which Way Iz West OUTRUN THE BEAT SOB x RBE, “Lane Changing 2″ BANDS THAT ALWAYS SOUND LIKE THEMSELVES, IN WAYS THAT I FIND COMFORTING the xx, I See You King Krule, The Ooz SAME AS ABOVE, MIDDLE-AGED DIVISION The Feelies, In Between Slowdive, “Star Roving” SOMEONE WHO SOUNDS LIKE NO ONE ELSE Jlin, Black Origami THE NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM Dreezy f/ 6LACK and Kodak Black, “Spar” I LOOKED UP EACH TIME THIS CAME ON THE SHUFFLE Shanti Celeste, “Loop One/Selector”

PROBABLY MY FAVORITE SONG GoldLink f/ Brent Faiyaz and Shy Glizzy, “Crew” OR MAYBE Jorja Smith x Preditah, “On My Mind” THIS WAS SICK TOO GoldLink & Co. covering Outkast’s “Roses” MAYBE THE BEST SONG J Hus, “Did You See”

ANOTHER YEAR, ANOTHER YEAR WHERE MY FAVORITE RELEASE WAS PROBABLY FROM YAEJI, THE “GLASSES FOGGING UP” LINE WAS VERY RELATABLE Yaeji, EP2 THE SONG OF THE SPRING, SUMMER, WINTER   I MEAN, IT’S WAYNE’S WORLD, WE JUST LIVE IN IT ### SIKH DEVOTIONAL MUSIC :: 2016 SPOOKY BLACK :: 2015