#i was honestly really hoping to avoid this

[harrysxcarolina]

oh, it’s my turn now

b. eilish

warnings: wlw, fluff, soft smut, bottom!billie, Billie receiving, teasing, flirting, cussing, mention of alcohol consumption, a sweet treat in honor of the grammys, partial proof read… oops!

Your are an upcoming artist and have been nominated for your first Grammy. Not expecting to win but beyond honored and grateful for the opportunity to be suggested along side some of the best artists in the industry. Not realizing that you have many secret admirers, one unbeknownst to you, you’ve spent the night gushing about some of the people you were excited to see. With your buzzing excitement and raging nerves you didn’t realize just how often you mentioned one person in particular. Your celebrity crush.

As the night unfolds, you accept your first Grammy, getting talk in to attending an after party by your team, to help broaden your social networking, you may have enjoyed your night a little too much with one too many cocktails. Unbeknownst to you, catching the eyes of many. You were glowing. Every step you took. The smile radiating off your cheeks. You were beyond proud. Excited. And honestly just in shock. Thanking all the congratulations with polite nods and smiles you welcome the end of the night.

You weren’t exactly sure what happened on the carpet as the nerves took over your body. You remember bits and pieces and you certainly didn’t remember gushing about your celebrity crush on national television nonstop.

So to your surprise the morning after to your phone being blown up with different videos and edits of interviews from last night of you announcing your crush on the one and only Billie Eilish.

You two weren’t well acquainted, but have spoken at past events and have flirted, lowkey stolen a couple glances, and smirks at one another but neither of you ever taking that next step of crossing that line. You weren’t sure why, you’d be open to it. Can anyone really blame you though? Not only is she gorgeous, but she’s kind, extremely funny, flirty (you love a good flirt, what can you say.)

But one thing you definitely weren’t prepared for was a message on tik tok from said crush, mixed in with your notifications.

Nearly dropping your phone you freeze. Your heart is beating against your chest. Not sure what exactly was gonna be played in the video attached to the message you glance down once again at your phone. Not processing what was happening in front you.

BILLIE EILISH

1 new message 10 hours ago

*video link shared*

Hi pretty girl, I’ve been waiiiittttttinnnn for yaaaa 😌

Waiting so patiently for you…

With a shaky hand you pick up your phone and click on the video. It’s a snippet of one of last nights interviews.

Amelia was the one asking you the question everyone has been wondering.

“So, any new crushes?!” She asked with a raised eyebrow and small smirk.

Biting your lip trying to fight the smirk working its way across your cheeks. Your hands fidget with the lace in your dress as you avoid looking at the camera. Your cheeks heat up with the blush slowly creeping up on you.

“You know I’ve really been crushing on one girl in particular…” you say shyly as you brush a piece of fallen hair behind your ear. Hopeful to hide some of the blush and bashfulness. Giving a quick glance to the camera a small pout on your lips.

“Ohh do tell girl. I’m dying for the tea” Amelia teases as she gently pushes your shoulder.

“I probably shouldn’t-“ you say a nervous chuckle leaves your lips.

“Girl c’mon don’t tease me, please, I promise I won’t tell.” She jokes making the both of you lose it in a fit of giggles. Slightly leaning into each other as you embrace the moment. Loving the fact that she is slowly helping eat away at the nerves building up inside your tummy.

“I’m actually lowkey jealous of you girl, you’ve been on a date with her.” You say with a pout and a soft nudge to her shoulder causing Amelia to laugh. “Tell me. Right now. I want to know.” Amelia demands a smirk on her face.

Taking a quick glance at the camera a shy smirk is played on your cheeks. “I mean-“ you chuckle biting your lip with a shrug off your shoulders. “It’s Billie.” You state looking at Amelia, your bottom lip between your teeth, waiting for her reaction.

“Shut the front door! You guys would be so fucking cute!” She says gushing at you in excitement. You laugh and shake your head glancing around the carpet. Trying to distract yourself from the raging butterflies in your stomach and the heat rushing to your cheeks.

That’s where the video ends.

You’re left speechless. Exiting out of the video you stare at Billie’s messages. Gently tapping your fingers on the edge of your phone as contemplate on a reply. The butterflies are fluttering dangerously fast in the pit of your stomach. You keep repeating her words in your head. The utter realization that Billie now knows along with the rest of the world knows about your crush on her.

I’ve been waiiiittttttinnnn for yaaaa

Waiting so patiently for you

Your fingers type feverishly across your screen before your nerves can talk yourself out of it.

***

You sit nervously fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. Glancing around the buzzing restaurant hoping to catch sight of the blue eyed girl you planned to meet here casually sipping on the water placed in front of you. Looking down at your phone checking the time you still have a few minutes before your agreed time to meet up, but you being you always had to be early to things. Wanting to make sure to give yourself plenty of time to prepare yourself to be on a date with a girl you’ve been crushing on for a while.

You smell the hint of her perfume before you see her sitting down in front of you. A smirk hung across her face as she sits down and adjust her pants getting herself comfortable. A blush rushes across your cheeks as you take her in. Her long dark locks cascading down her shoulders as she sports a black bandana around the crown on her head. Her piercing blues eyes outlined with black eyeliner and mascara as they hide behind the glasses resting on the bridge of her nose.

Her baggy shirt hanging loosely off her torso, but showing off her curves perfectly. Her jeans hanging just off her hips as the belt securely tugs the material around her hips.

Her bottom lip hides between her teeth as she takes you in as well.

The night goes flawlessly as you both enjoy dinner sharing laughs, smirks, flirty eyes, and the occasional knees brushing under the table, your hands brushing as you pass the salt and pepper back and forth. You breath catches every time, your eyes quickly shooting up to met hers not missing the way her cheeks heat up to a pretty rosy pink anytime you make contact. Her bottom lip slightly swollen as an after math of her teeth nervously nibbling away at it. You can practically feel the heat radiating off the both of you.

The tension getting thicker through out the night as you both shamelessly flirt and banter back and forth. You can’t deny the connection you already feel between the both of you. Taking in all her little details as your eyes trace across her face. Noting all her quirks as her eyes brows twitch in response to a joke you say as you watch her throw her head back in laughter. The way she nervously fidgets with the rings that take claim to her fingers as she talks about the things she is passionate about. The way the light reflecting off her ocean blue eyes leaves you wandering in the waves of wanting to know all the thoughts floating around in that pretty head of hers.

Before you know it the staff notify you that they are getting ready to close up for the night. Not realizing how much time you’ve spent sitting here sharing stories and asking each other questions to hopefully help you both get to know each other on a different level. Smiling politely at the staff mumbling a soft apology as you reach for you purse to care of the bill but are stop before you could even get your bag unzipped. Billie handing her card to the waiter and shushing you as she dismisses your protests.

Stating that it was her treat and how she wanted to. Offering you comforting reassurance that she had a great time, and that she would happily pay for your dinner again if you let her. A smirk playing on her face as she lays her hand across the small of your back. Leading you out the restaurant into the dimly light street. You feel the heat spread across your lower back from the pressure of her fingers rubbing soothing shapes over the fabric of your dress.

The cool breeze brushes through your hair as you both stroll towards your parked cars. Not wanting the night to end as you stand there tightly clutching the straps of your purse not sure what to do with your hands as they itch desperately to trail down her warm skin.

“I had a really good time tonight.” Billie quietly admits as you reach your car. Glancing up at you through her lashes her bashfulness showing through as she takes a step towards you. Her hand reaching out and gently grasping your hips. Your breath hitches as you look down taking in her hand on your hip. Your heart beating so fast against your chest you pray that she couldn’t hear it. Her fingers flexing across your hip.

“Me too. Do you maybe wanna go back to my place?” You rush out not fully realizing what you were saying before you said it. You cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Clutching your purse tighter as you look down at your shoes. Hopeful you didn’t give off the wrong impression. You just weren’t ready to end the night. You felt so safe and comfortable in her presence and you wanted to be greedy and hold onto it a little bit longer.

Her smile is evident as she tilts your head up to meet hers. Her eyes sparkling with a hit of mischief as her response brushes across your face.

“I thought you’d never ask.” She admits as she suggests following you back to your place but not before she lays a soft peck across your cheek.

“Drive safe pretty girl,” She whispers across the shell of your ear before she backs away and heads towards her car.

***

Swiftly unlocking your front door and quickly tossing your keys on the coffee stand right inside the door. Barely having enough time to get through the door before Billie has her hands back on your hips pressing you tightly between her and the door. Your hands tangling themselves deep into her dark locks as your lips battle for dominance. A low moan echos off Billies lips as she trails her kisses down your jaw to your neck.

Head tilting back as your eyes clench shut. Billies hands roaming your lower torso as her lips leave open mouth kisses down your neck. Your grip in her hair tightening as she finds your sweet spot. Sucking and nibbling your skin until she’s satisfied. Hips bucking up against hers in response as her teeth graze across your hot skin. Her tongue soothing the red mark she left behind. Growling as her hips press harder against yours as she gently rocks herself against you.

“You know how long I’ve been waiting for you?” She whimpers against your neck. Her hand sliding under the hem of your shirt as her fingertips tease your waistline. Wanting to feel the small hitches in your breathing as she slowly moves her fingertips higher up. Not able to fully form words, to far gone from the feeling of her lips on your neck and her hands roaming your body you shake your head. Her breath hot against your skin as she peppers kisses across your jaw. Her fingertips reaching your under boob stopping briefly to glance up at you silently asking permission. A slight nod is all she needed for a response as she captures your clothed breast in her hand. Whimpering and arching your back off the door as she gropes your breast. Rubbing your sensitive nub through the fabric in your bra causing your head to get dizzy.

You legs wobble slightly trying to engrave the feeling of her lips on your skins as she traces your tongue across you salty skin. Urging her to move things into the bedroom so you can not only get your hands on her, but to also aid in a more comfortable surface.

Body’s tangling together as your back hits your mattress. Billie falling on top of you as her lips don’t miss as beat as she cups your cheek and reconnects your lips. Swallowing her moans as you buck your hips up against her as she slowly slides your shirt up your torso. Tossing it somewhere on the floor as her eyes trace down your body. Her hands gripping your hips as her thumbs gently brush against your warm skin.

A bashful smile works its way across your cheeks as you stare up at her catching her gaze as your hands guide her to rest across your lap. Placing her thighs on either side of your hips her hands return to warm skin. Watching as your chest heaves softly up and down. Brushing the fallen pieces of hair out of her face as she leans down and kisses across your chest. Moaning against your skin as your run your hands up and down her spine pressing her close to you. Her hand sliding down from your cheek to your neck as she deepens the kiss.

Her tongue gently moves across your lower lip patiently waiting for permission to taste you. Tilting your head as your grant her access your hands gripping the hem of her shirt slowly tugging it up her body. Groaning at the fact the both of you still have too much clothing on. Breaking apart from your kiss to remove her shirt the rest of the way before reaching behind her and removing her bra clasp. Smirking down at you as she slowly slides the straps down her shoulders as her breast feel free.

You feel the pool of wetness between your thighs as you moan at the sight in front of you. Her breast sitting perfectly at eye level as your teeth capture your bottom lip. Letting your mind run wild of all the things you want to do with the pretty girl sitting on top of you. Gripping her hips and gently laying her back against the bed. Whispering against her skin, my turn, as your trace your lips down her naked chest.

Making sure to give equal attention as you kiss across her cleavage. Leaving a trail of wet kisses as you look up at her through your lashes. A soft smile spreads across your face as your take in the sight above you.

Her hair sprawled out as her back slightly arches off the bed. Silently begging you to wrap your lips around her aching buds. Her swollen lips and a rosy pink as her pearly white teeth lay their claim against it. Her hands clenching the lose blankets as you graze your teeth across her goosebump covered skin. Getting closer and closer to her perky nipples.

Clasping her buds between your lips as your tongue flicks, sucks, and twists her nipples. Her moans echoing off the walls and into your hears as her hands grasp your head holding you tightly against her. Her hips bucking up uncontrollably against your heated core. You feel the tight pull deep in your core as you become addicted to her pretty moans. Wanting and needed to hear them more.

Working your lips to her other breast your fingers slide their way up from her hip making sure to twist and pull her nipple between your fingertips in time with the flicks of your tongue on her opposite nipple. Her hands tightly tangling themselves in your hair as you release her nipple and work your lips down between her breast. Teasing her skin with the tip of your tongue letting her hands gently control the movement of your head as your leave a trail of kisses in your wake. You can feel her breath hitch as you kiss across her hipbones. You fingers tapping their way up her clothed thigh reaching for her belt. You fingers fumble briefly as you unclasp it and hear the slight chuckle rolling off Billies lips.

Refusing to look up at her as the heat radiates off your cheeks as your unbuckle her pants and slide them down her legs. Taking a moment to pause and really look at her. Tucking a piece of fallen out behind your ear Billie leaning up and cupping your cheek once more. Laying a soft peck to your lips as her thumb brushes against your pink cheeks.

“You’re cute when you blush,” She states as you feel her smile against your lips. Chuckling softly in return as you gently cup her face. Looking up at her not fully believing the events of the last couple days. Her eyes flicker between yours and your lips as she kisses you once more as her hands glide around your torso and up your back. Unclasping your bra and slowly sliding it down with her fingertips. Pulling apart briefly, your foreheads lean against each other as your breast fall free. Her free hand is quick to grope your breast as yours gently spread her thighs. Head falling to her shoulder as she twists and pulls on your nipple. Her lips hot on your skin as your fingers slowly trace up her thigh getting dangerously close to her dripping core.

Moaning as you spread her wetness around teasing her clit with your fingertips gloating at the way her hips buck against your fingers and the way she quietly whimpers in your ear.

“Lay back for me,” you moan as you gently push her back onto the bed and wiggle your way down between her thighs. Her hooded eyes watching your every move as your kisses along her thigh. Your eyes never faltering from hers as you inch your lips closer and closer to her core. She can’t stop herself from wiggling under your touch as you trace your lips everywhere but where she desperately needed them.

“Fuck, please-” she begs as her head tilts back on the pillow her hands grasping at the bed sheets. Her hips bucking up brushing against your lips, causing her to lose herself in another around of moans. Grinning against her skin, wrapping your arms around her hips pinning her torso back down on the bed. Tisking her as your lips kiss up and down her lips. Gently blowing hot air against her wet folds as you look up at her through your lashes.

“What was that?” You reply with a smirk leaving a kiss on her mound. Moving one of her hands to your hair as she bucks her hips up once again. Silently begging you to do anything. Anything at all to the relieve the ache that was building between her thighs. “Please,” she whimpers once more. Her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Please what baby? I need words.” You retort mockingly as you gently flick the tip of your tongue between her folds. Her spread legs shaking slightly as her hips try to grind against your wet muscle. Her groans getting louder as you can feel her frustration from all the pent up tension between the two of you. “You gonna tell me what you want?” You ask as you place a chaste kiss in the crease of her pelvis gently nibbling at her skin. Her back arching off the bed at your soft mocking tone.

“I want- fuck- I want your tongue,” she begs. “I want your fucking tongue. Please!” She gasps as you moan in response. Not needed to be told twice as you dive in between her folds. Relishing in her taste across your buds. Gripping her hips and pulling her tighter against your mouth lapping up everything and anything she’s offering you. Flicking your tongue across her swollen clit. Her hips rotating against you as you slide your tongue between her folds. Working her clit fast and hard as you flatten your tongue out aiding in grinding her hips against your face as you slide your hand up her torso searching for her perky breast. Moaning into her heated core as your rock yourself against the cool sheets twisting and pulling on her nipple as your tongue works faster against her. Sucking her clit gently grazing the sensitive bud between your teeth as Billie looses all control as her legs shake and tremble around your head. Her hands gripping your hair tighter, pulling your face further into her core as you slide your fingers between her folds spreading around her wetness as you steal a quick glance up at her.

You lips and tongue not faltering as you tease her with the tip of your middle finger. Her breathing getting heavier the more you tease her. Her whimpers are soft and sweet as you slowly thrust your fingers fully between her lips. The both of you moaning at the feeling of you finally being between her thighs. Her mouth making a perfect o as you twist and flex your fingers against her walls.

“God, pretty girl, you feel so fucking good.” Billie moans out as she licks her lips looking down at the sight of you between her legs. Sitting up to get a better view of you, with the support of her arms, groaning as she watches your work your tongue between her folds and then back up to her clit. Sucking her deeper into your mouth as you curve your fingers just right searching for her sweet spot. Her head falling back on her shoulders as she groans out in ecstasy.

“Shiiit, yes right there, fuck-” she moans as she holds your head against her core grinding her hips against your warm mouth.

Working your tongue faster as your fingers seep deeper hitting that spongy sweet spot over and over again. Your fingers digging deep into her hip bone with the hand pinning her down on your bed as you feel her begin to clench around your fingers. Squeezing you so tightly as her breath hitches.

“Fuck, keep sucking my clit like that Mamas. I’m going to cum all over- fuck- I’m going to cum all over that pretty mouth of yours.” She declares as you thrust your fingers deeper, sucking her clit deeper into your warm mouth as your tongue flicks and licks away at her sensitive nerve bundle. Her body goes stiff as your feel her clenching around your fingers. Grinding her hips faster against your mouth and fingers feeling the intense build up for her orgasm consuming not only her body but thoughts. That your were making her feel better than she ever had, and that she never wanted it to end.

Rotating your wrist as you help ride out her high for as long as possible. Her breath ragged as her chest heaves up and down. Your tongue laying soft kitten licks along her core. Sliding your fingers gently from between her legs as you kiss your way up her body. Her body jerking slightly from overstimulation as you hear her softly hum. Kissing between the valley of her breast as you slither your hips between hers. Bucking your hips unintentionally against her as you feel her wetness soaks into the front of your pants. Billie hissing as her hands slide up your naked back. Teasing your spine with her fingertips as you kiss your way to her lips. Laying a sweet kiss on her lips before you snuggle into her neck. You feel her heart beat under your fingertips as you trace soothing shapes across her cleavage. A smirk working its way across your face.

“So you’ve been waiting on me huh?” you snort in her neck as her hips grip your hips. A soft hum is heard above you before you feel her lips pressing to your forehead.

Her smirk evident as she quickly flips you over. Laying beneath her as her hands brace herself on either side of your head.

“You have no idea,” she chuckles as she glances down at your half naked body. Her hips pinning yours to the bed as she captures your lips between hers. The kiss is heated and rushed as if she would be worried you’d disappear.. Groaning against you lips as her teeth capture your bottom lip. Gently pulling and letting go with a pop as she trails kisses across your jaw landing right below your earlobe.

“Now it’s my turn,” she growls in your ear leaving her mark all along your neck as she plans all the ways she’s going to have you. Moaning at the endless possibilities.

[sky--phantom]

Times other people discussed Solavellan + Times Solas and Lavellan talked about each other (dav)

"I've seen how you look at him. You're in it" - Sera

"Is it my imagination, dear, or have certain... lingering looks passed between you and our Solas?" - Vivienne

"You're real, and it means everyone could be real. It changes everything, but it can't" - Cole

"The two of you were close. Perhaps he had no choice? He might return at any moment" - Leliana

"How have you been? It seems ages since we've spoken. I know you were cruely disappointed when Solas left" - Vivienne

"Are you hoping for word on Solas? I'm sorry, Inquisitor. I'm afraid I have nothing" - Leliana

"I've been meaning to ask... Solas hasn't come back? Sent word? Anything?" - Thom

"Oh, and Inquisitor? Feels weird, but I'm sorry Solas never came back. Well, no, I'm not, but... I'm sorry he left you." - Sera

"I am not a god, Charter. I am prideful, hotheaded, and foolish, and I am doing what I must. When you report back to the Inquisitor…. Say that I am sorry.” - Solas

"Maybe it's gullible of me, but I know the Inquisitor feels the same: Solas isn't too far gone to bring back" - Varric

"Solas was... important to me. If this statuette helps you understand him, if it uncovers something that... Honestly, I don't know. I wish I did. But this feels like a part of him, and whatever he and I once were... I think... I-I hope... it might help you" - Lavellan

"And when I served the Inquisition, I tried to avoid entanglements" - Solas

"Except for Inquisitor Lavellan" - Rook

"I said that I resolved to do so, not that I succeeded. She's a good woman. Growing close to her was... selfish of me" - Solas

"Do you regret it?" - Rook

"I live with countless regrets. Some of them I have grown to cherish more than my victories" - Solas

"Solas took this path because he thinks he has no choice. But the Inquisitor believes there is another way for him. For them. She could save him, if he would just let her" - Harding

"God of Lies, Dread Wolf, Fen'Harel. They're titles he earned from enemies, followers and fractured history. He and I shared another name: Vhenan" - Lavellan

"You've spoken to him in your dreams. You've felt the power of that mind. His love could burn against me like a bonfire. He seemed so kind, and wise, and sad, and looked at me as if I somehow mattered more than anything around us. For a time... I thought I would have followed anywhere he asked me to" - Lavellan

"Or maybe I'm the prideful one, imagining his broken heart so that I never have to face my folly. That I loved someone who made such grave mistakes. That I might love him still" - Lavellan

"He really made you happy?" - Rook

"Yes, he really did" - Lavellan

"Harding... I am sorry" - Solas

"For what, Solas? Betraying the Inquisitor and breaking her heart?" - Harding

"Is there any chance - any chance at all - that he would listen to reason?" - Lavellan

"Speaking from the heart, Inquisitor?" - Morrigan

"With Elgar'nan and and Ghilan'nain dead, and the Inquisitor finally reunited with her true love... it looked like one of the biggest stories this world had ever seen was finally drawing to a close" - Varric

[causeimcrayzeebee]

tetro back it again making me cry way too early in the morning alright lets talk about the things on my mind after this weeks episodes

first of all, (princess) Monomoko. goodness. i have really enjoyed seeing her become more and more sympathetic and aware, building her own consciousness. that really worries me about her, in the event that something could happen to her. the fact that she told seki that she cant justify the killing game anymore, and seki doesn’t really say anything about he feels. i wonder if he feels the same way. also from corrective approach, it seems like seki turned her in, but honestly is it just me or does it seem like something where kan found out on his own n seki wasn’t able to do anything about it? i mean obviously he’s still choosing to do nothing, but like i feel like it would be weird that he told on her yk? or am i just losing my mind.

ojima. oh my goodness ojima, I did not expect a lore dump, but wow. hayashi telling him that talking about it could be his chance to be strong,,, and he actually starts speaking. i really loved that hayashi was the one he told, especially considering their similarities. ojima throughout the ep was hugely impressed that she survived the year of being kidnapped and locked away, and thinking he himself as incapable of being that strong, but hayashi saying that she’s not stronger, she’s just had more practice was a key thing. ojima took that first step of saying something all those years ago, and when the people around him (his father not his brothers) blamed him of lying, he didn’t feel like he had the people to support him that he needed, thus backing away. ojima opening up again after that (and about something he’s avoided for most of his life) is HUGE. now, as he tells hayashi what happened to him, she can be part of that support system for him.

hayashi has gone through so much too. i think her story really highlights the importance of having people around you. her parents were still searching for her, and once she was actually able to escape, she had her parents back. the whole kidnapping was incredibly fucked, it’s amazing that she made it. she’s so strong and i love her, she really has stepped up to giving the rest of the cast support, just like she was by her parents.

on another note MY PARENTS [hayashigeki] ARE NO LONGER ON THE PATH TO DIVORCE!!! the fact that yanagi was so distraught and worried about restricting hayashi and being controlling just like his father, only to find out hayashi was mad at him for putting himself in danger... I really liked communication attempt, I'm so glad they actually talked. yanagi talking about long term plans though worries me..... king pls.....

speaking of long term plans, this is what got me bawling again, in refulgence post mortem. kamimura kazutoshi, the guy literally trying to kill himself just before the killing game (which I still wonder what this means for how they got the participants into the game,,, did they have to like resuscitate him??) , was thinking about going back to school to pursue his dream. he wanted to reconnect with his aunt. hasegawa saying he was proud of him really got me. kamimura had found something he wanted to do, something to strive for in the future. and then he was taken away. hasegawa's distain for okazaki is clear in this episode. they way that hasegawa talked about kamimura was full of love, both when he talked about the little things that were negative about kamimura, like how he was easily annoyed, and when he talked about how funny and kind he was. i think it’s really interesting too how Hama was asking hasegawa, someone the rest of the group knows even LESS, about kamimura. it feels like when two mutual friends talk about someone they knew and get closer through that. i really hope this marks hasegawa beginning to reach out more. (OH YEAH ALSO HASEGAWA CLEANING KAMIMURAS BODY AND THE SCENE,,,, WHAT IF I CRIED.) this episode was also something that really hit how isolated the two were from the rest of the group; we all knew this about kamimura, but hama was hearing a lot of this for the first time.

i really loved hama in this weeks episodes too. teacher hama made me so happy I cant believe we had five minutes of hama yapping about yokai that was AWESOME. wama nation rise this week was peak.... the way he responds to wada in extra credit is so fucking sweet, and him reading chibas story (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) to help wada fall asleep was so fucking adorable I lost it. hama is truly someone with so much love to give.

wada this week has clearly been going through a lot. I think definitely in chapter 4, he's starting to grow a bit more confidence and strength to move forward, but shit is hard. it makes sense for wada to backpedal a bit. i knew a lot of what happened cause of wada.exe but damn was it so painful hearing it VOICED. shout out to literallt every single tetro VA, i think their work has absolutely enhanced the story so beautifully. wada has so much to deal with and his past will always be with him. “it can't be trauma because that means it won't go away”, was a really striking line. i really loved all the lines in these episodes, they held so much power.

oh yanagi, you sweet son of a bitch. I'm so worried for his survival chances this chapter, he's been serving everyone. he treated Monomoko to the princess experience despite everything. he helped wada talk about his issues with food and set out to help him do something about it, just like how he did with his sister. he kept trying until finally having the opportunity to talk to hayashi. yanagi is someone who knows where he comes from, but has made huge strides and constant effort to not be like his father.

and finally, speaking of families. watari. oh my goodness, I love watari so much. her interview was amazing, it was such a rollercoaster (girlie is the number one wama n hasemura fan lmfaoo), but I really enjoyed the whole thing. i had a suspicion that she really just longed to be a teenager without responsibilities when I read her secret files, but damn. i think the wish for her mom to be more involved is something so sad but so real. tons of kids have to end up taking care of their siblings like how watari has to, and it’s a lot on someone who’s still growing themselves. i didn’t make that connection to why she loved having fun with okazaki until this interview, and wow. Firefox nation how we feeling (im going to explode UAHSHDJEJEJE). this killing game, ironically, gave her the opportunity to be free, just for a bit. i also find her instinct to say she wants to be an only child interesting, as I think it’s instinct to blame the immediate people around you for a problem that is more (likely?) systematic. but in reality all she wants is her mom to do things for her, like a mother should.

I think this is the first proper time watari has acknowledged how she’s been feeling about Okazaki (Y’all are cruel with these questions LMAO). okazaki was someone she could have fun with, to enjoy herself with. okazaki let her be who she wished she could’ve been, and she wanted her. if Okazaki hadn’t killed like she did, maybe things would be different. clearly, under all her hatred and anger towards Okazaki for the fucked up things she did, she loved her. she misses her. she still wants to be foxes with her, in another life, where they can start over and have a clean slate. she wants to spend life with the one who let her be the carefree teenager she wanted to be. she wants her. don’t mind me bawling my eyes out!

overall, I've really loved the themes of support from tetro recently. I think it's been a common reminder coming through that people need others to keep going. support is a powerful thing, and when so many of the cast of tetro have been alone in some aspect during their life, finding the people to help them through it to move on through their life is an incredibly powerful thing.

[seasonal-writes]

Hey there! So, it’s been a while. I have done a lot of thinking, some writing, some attempts—but I have come to the conclusion that I do not think I will be writing out the continuation and end of When Fate Finds Golden Rings. It took me a while to get to this point, and I'm so sorry to anyone who was hoping or expecting me to eventually come back to posting it on ao3. You know, you just.. don’t write on a fic for over a year-ish and surprise! Maybe you really lost the energy and passion for this piece after all. Which is okay. 

BUT. Instead,

Welcome to: Ro gives away the plans for the ending, rambles about that process, and gives other weird notes about their first big boy AU. Because I saw a post about bullet point-ing fic and realized I am, in fact, allowed to do that. 

Strap in because this is going to be a Big Post. Sorry in advance. And if it wasn't very obvious, um. Spoilers for When Fate Finds Golden Rings below the cut. <3

It’ll probably be starting at chapter 14. 

So, I want to disclose, before we begin: the ending is not totally up to my current standards as a writer. And this isn’t going to be me bashing my own creative process or my burnout or anything like that. I just feel like noting that… had I thought about the ending in more detail instead of flying by the seat of my pants, I think that it would be more put-together and interesting. I think that applies to the entire story, honestly. So. Yeah. If the ending falls a little flat, that is why. I was too busy daydreaming over my epilogue—which I will be talking about as well!! It's honestly my favorite aspect that came from continually thinking about the fic rather than writing it. LMAO.

Interestingly enough, I originally wrote that there were going to be at most like, 7-8 chapters left. realistically, that would probably not have happened. Considering this outline was in SHAMBLES, I can safely say it would’ve been a whirlwind last few chapters. sincerely, future Ro after writing out the mess you’re about to see.

The place where Joel, Lizzie, and Etho live was going to be the place where the ending took place. All the chapters in this “arc” as I'd call them—even though that’s not really what they are—were going to be here and were originally intended to be a deeper dive into Tango’s background. Since the first half of the story is really steeped in Jimmy’s world, it had only felt right to give Tango his own section and exposition as a character.

This was going to become the part of the story where it’s like, Jimmy and tango are in a more stable place for a moment so it gives them more time to reflect. It also would’ve given them time to be away from each other, which I thought was important for two guys who had been subjected to good ol’ forced proximity and were finally given little outs to be apart; i.e. Etho taking tango away for a day, Jimmy spending time with Lizzie and/or Joel. That was a chapter idea I had: both basically kinda being like: yeah! no! I can be alone. I don't miss him at all. not even a little. it feels weird without him here though, right- and just dealing with that. Plus the fear of getting caught, the fear of the OTHER one getting caught and not knowing. yeah. <3

Something I had planned on happening between Tango and Jimmy was that Jimmy was basically going to very much avoid his own feelings all around. He’s so attached to this guy, very much falling for him, and convinced that he is in the way despite it all. He’s kinda… under the impression that maybe he’s in the wrong for not wanting to stay, because OBVIOUSLY Jimmy knows better than to stay in one place like this after the whole journey thus far, when Tango seems so happy. So Jimmy, flawed as this idea is, just assumes Tango will be better off if he stays close to his home and Jimmy doesn’t want to make Tango feel like he has to keep running. The best way i can describe this is like

Jimmy: Man. Tango seems really happy here. I don't think he needs me. I bet he wants to stay. No, I'm not gonna ask him, that’s crazy. What I WILL do, however, is leave without telling him. 

and then he did. :) 

That was basically going to lead into a chapter where Jimmy is ~kidnapped~ on his way out of town by ANOTHER set of characters I was excited about: the mercenaries, Ren, Martyn, and BigB! Golden Rings!Ren is fun to me because he keeps the Red King aesthetic. For some context of why they exist: the three stooges mercenaries heard through the grapevine that if the two princes were captured and returned alive, there would be a big reward. I never actually decided if they’d been tracking Jimmy and Tango for a while, or if it was a coincidence that the reward went out and they happened to stumble into town. but all that matters is that Ren ‘n Gang are in fact successful, and smuggle Jimmy off to a camp somewhere along the road headed back to the palace with full intentions of bringing him home, with or without tango. 

behind the scenes, tango is actively losing his mind. so, fun fact here: I never actually…wrote down how this next bit happens. please forgive me i haven’t touched this outline in like a year and a lot has happened since then- but OoOoh wow! Tango manages to find him!! at the camp!! at night. please note here that golden rings!tango has reflective animal eyes. like cats at night when light shines on them? that’s tango. 

I had this whole scene planned where I would riff off the Tango Rage and make him go nuts on these guys. The funny thing is that Tango can’t really fight, but I think he would do an effective job on scaring the shit out of them and chasing them out of camp. Like, spooky story level shit—crackling twigs, snapping branches, etc.. At the end, Tango manages to untie Jimmy and they make a quick getaway back to town. 

When I tell you this was gonna be one exciting chapter after exciting chapter, I mean it. The next big part, dear rancher enjoyers, was going to be the confession scene. 

Basically, imagine. Tango and Jimmy are walking home. tango is really quiet, won’t look at jimmy except to make sure he’s still right there. There is a storm brewing in the sky, and they’re trying to get back as soon as possible. but suddenly, tango freezes in place. Jimmy gets a few feet ahead, but stops and turns when he notices tango isn’t in pace with him. tango looks hurt. more hurt than jimmy’s ever seen him. which makes Jimmy feel awful. and it’s like:

T: If you wanted to leave, you should have told me.  J: …Tango. T: If you wanted to leave, you should have come and told me. We are friends— a team, you've said it yourself. I would’ve been ready to go.  J: I wasn’t…I was hoping you wouldn’t follow me.  T: Why wouldn’t I follow you? J: I just thought it’d be easier on both of us if I left you to your devices here. I’m sorry.  T: You’re sorry? You think that’s gonna just- just make this better for me? After you just up and left me there, worried that you’d been taken back to your family? T: And- And you almost were, too! You were this close, Jimmy! If you were that scared of staying then- J: You know, there was nothing forcing you to come get me, I could’ve just gone and you could’ve stayed and lived the life you wanted back in the palace! I thought that was the plan! Freedom for both of us! T: ….You really just don’t get it, huh? Are you that dense? J: What? What don’t I understand? T: I am in love with you, you idiot! J: …You.. you what? [dialogue taken from the scene i started writing but never finished<3]

And then more things happen and then they KISSSSSSSS !!! 

Realistically, I want to note that the transition between here and the ending was very finicky and not written down. so, instead, i will be giving you a general run down of what the ending was supposed to be. 

With tango and jimmy now having confessed and acting upon those feelings, they think they’re safe for the moment. However, soon after, etho finds them and basically alerts them of an uptick of Nether Guard, having heard that the mercenaries reported their sighting and now, rather rapidly because ~portal transport~, the kings were sending search parties out once more. etho suggests they get out of the city, and the two agree, prepping quickly to leave what became a very good few allies and safe place for the roads once more. 

The day they are supposed to flee, the overworld’s royal party arrives; Grian heading the way, seeming to be the one sent to find his little brother. 

This part got really fuzzy for me because I don't think I ever actually plotted out the transitionary period between "you two need to run" and "we're running, it's bad."

What I do know, though, is that the final scene would’ve been a confrontation with Grian, who attempts to convince them to come home. but when Jimmy explains, begs his brother to try and understand (i also think he uses his secret relationship with Scar as a bit of an example. leverage, even); Grian eventually wishes his brother goodbye, and turns a blind eye to let them run. 

Epilogue: Tango and Jimmy, fittingly, escape to the countryside. When they eventually outrun search parties and the call for their return dies down, they settle on a tiny cottage out on a tiny farm with wishes to expand it and make it their own. Jimmy tends to the animals. Occasionally, he sends a letter under a false name, and he gets one in response; a brother, far away, still keeping him in on happenings in the kingdom and in his life. Tango dives into his redstone, creating and building and making things he never would’ve had much time to while being a king. He thinks of a guard, long left behind, and wonders if he thinks of him too. 

The two never marry, as marriage doesn’t leave a very sweet taste in their mouths—but they do make vows, whispered promises to stay together forever. A prophecy haunts them; but they were never really the type to obey any plan laid out for them, anyway. 

Some years later, a quiet life has been established—but one day, someone arrives. Tango has gone out to gather supplies, so when there’s a knock, Jimmy answers the door. 

Before him, there is a tall figure with a familiar set of eyes. Impulse, knight and ex-personal guard of the Nether Court, stands before him. When Tango returns to find him, a beautiful reunion is had; one with tears and relief and all the love in the world so present in one moment. 

GUESS WHAT !!! TANGO/JIMMY/IMPULSE CANON IN GOLDEN RINGS EPILOGUE!! IMPULSE COMES BACK TO HIS BOY AFTER ESSENTIALLY GIVING UP HIS GUARD POSITION BECAUSE IT’S NOT THE SAME!! THEY CAN BE SO SILLY TOGETHER NOW!! AAAAAAAAA I’VE BEEN WAITING TO SHARE THIS GOD-

please god someone ask me about this dynamic i’m not okay

And, yeah! That was kind of it for the story. As I said, it falls flat to an extent. It’s not the ending that I would give it today. I still wanted to share it, even if it wasn’t the best or most detailed. I love this story, I love this universe and its characters and all the work I did on it. I still want to think about it, talk about it, etc. I’m not letting it go completely, just.. the fic won’t be finished. I am of the firm belief that I could’ve done a lot of things differently, that the story could be even better if I rewrote it entirely. But that’s not a project for right now. :) Because holy shit this fic is at 65k and that would be… hoooo.. a lot of work. Just like picking it back up and finishing it would also be quite a bit of work. It’s hard—I’ve had people tell me just to do it, just to finish the damn thing for the sake of finishing it and not quitting. So, this is my version of that, even if it isn’t the same. I don’t feel like I’m quitting, I'm only a little sad about how it's ending for now, but it feels right. I’m just like 99% sure I won’t enjoy writing the rest out. And, like I said at the start, that’s okay. Passion and motivation changes. People grow.

Anyway, that’s all! Thanks for listening to my silly little ramble about this AU that is old but still lovely. If you guys have questions or wanna chat about the AU at all, my ask box is always open even if I am terrible at answering them. If I find anything else or think up anything, maybe I’ll post about it! But, for now, I hope you all enjoyed my sillies. I love everyone who set foot in this space and read what is still my most favorite fanfiction I've ever written. :)

[n-evermores]

By A Thread

Pairing: Alden Parker x NCIS!Reader Word Count: 6k+ Summary: Parker invites the reader to his cousin’s wedding, where unspoken feelings surface but end in rejection. Days later, a dangerous pursuit in the woods forces them to confront their feelings. Warnings: Age-gap romance A/N: A wedding scenario similar to Knight/Jimmy’s was requested about two years ago. I started writing it and couldn’t bring myself to find the right ending and it’s been stuck in my drafts. I finally decided to polish it up and finish it. This was a while back, which is why the beginning hints at Jimmy and Knight still keeping their relationship a secret. 

“Me and Delilah are taking the twins to the aquarium this weekend. They’re already so excited.” Tim grinned, his eyes twinkling with warmth.

“Sounds like you’re a bit excited too,” Jess teased, a knowing smile tugging at her lips.

McGee just shrugged, his grin widening. She was right, of course, his face lit up every time he spoke about it.

“I have big plans this weekend too. We’re going—” Jess hesitated, releasing a nervous laugh. “You know.”

“Going where?” you asked, already guessing her plans involved Jimmy. Everyone knew about their relationship, yet she continued to dance around the topic like it was a big secret. Jess just shrugged, bringing her coffee cup to her lips to avoid answering.

Nick threw Jess a side-glance, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Well, I’ve got plans too,” he announced with a shrug. “What about you? Any big plans this weekend?” He asked you.

“Nope. Just me, my couch, and Netflix,” you replied with a big, performative smile. The truth stung more than you liked to admit. You wished for something to break the monotony of your weekends. If you weren’t working, you were cooped up inside, watching TV. It was the same boring routine every weekend, and most days you silently hoped for a big case just to shake things up.

“No plans at all?” Jess asked, her surprise evident.

“Yeah, you need to get out more. You’re like a hermit,” Nick teased, his tone light but pointed.

You sighed, half-laughing. “I go to the cafe sometimes. And on occasion, I take myself to the movies,” you countered lightly. “I just never have anywhere to go is all.”

“Would you like somewhere to go?” A familiar voice interjected.

You turned to see Parker rounding the corner, carrying a box of sweets. His eyes flickered with uncertainty as he studied your face. “My cousin’s getting married this weekend. I was invited, and honestly, I’m not really one for weddings. I could use a plus one.” He offered you a small, nervous smile.

Your heart swelled in your chest at the sight of his hopeful expression. “Will there be cake?” you asked, trying to keep the moment light.

“Well, yeah. It’s a wedding,” he replied, his gaze searching yours. “So? What do you say?”

You stared into his eyes, your resolve crumbling under their gentle intensity. “How could I say no to that face? Okay. Count me in,” you agreed, earning a fleeting look of curiosity from Parker.

As he set the box of sweets down on his desk, you wondered if you’d said the wrong thing. How could I say no to that face? Honestly you may as well tell him you think he's hot. But it was true. How could you say no to him when he looked at you like that?

“Perfect. I’ll pick you up at a quarter to six on Saturday,” he said, grabbing a pastry from the box.

Your heart did a little flip, and you took a steadying breath. You’d always loved the group trivia nights at Parker’s place, but you’d longed for a chance to spend time with him alone. The last time was weeks ago when he took you birdwatching. It was a memory you still clung to.

“You’re going to a wedding with Parker?” Nick leaned in, whispering just loud enough for you to hear. “You don’t think that’ll be a little awkward?”

You shrugged, brushing off his teasing. “No. Why would it be?”

Nick chuckled, shaking his head. “Well, try not to have too much fun. Parker might not be able to keep up.”

You just shook your head at Nick. You stole a glance at Parker and smiled, excited and nervous all at once. You couldn’t believe you were going somewhere formal with Parker. It almost felt like a date, but you quickly shoved that thought away.

It was not a date.

-

You stared at yourself in the mirror, scrutinizing your reflection. The cocktail dress was your favorite color, and it struck the perfect balance. It wasn’t too extravagant, but tasteful enough for a semi-formal event. Knight had offered you a long gown during your frantic search for the right outfit, but this felt more like you.

As you studied the curves of your body and the way the dress fit you like a glove, you wondered if Parker would like it. Or even notice it.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm the unease bubbling inside you. Meeting Parker’s family was intimidating enough. But more than that, the thought of being introduced as “just a friend” was a bittersweet reminder of your reality.

When the doorbell rang, you grabbed your clutch and hurried to open it. Parker stood there in a black suit with a crisp white button-down. His eyes widened slightly as he took you in.

“Wow. You look incredible,” he said, his voice soft.

You felt your cheeks heat under his gaze. “Well, look at you,” you replied with a smile, taking in how the suit complemented his already handsome face. God, he was just so good-looking, and you found yourself staring a little too long.

“Ready?” he asked, his hand brushing your elbow lightly as he gestured toward the car.

It wasn’t a date, you reminded yourself. But the way his hand lingered on your back as he guided you outside sent your heart racing.

Parker made small talk the entire way there, and you found yourself trying to relax as you tugged at your dress slightly. You were fine when he took you birdwatching, yet this felt different. The two of you, dressed nicely, attending a nice event with possible dancing. It was definitely different than birdwatching.

-

The venue was buzzing with laughter and chatter as Parker led you to your seats, his hand resting lightly on the small of your back. The brief contact was electric, and when it fell away, you missed it instantly.

You felt relief at spotting the familiar face of Roman. However, your relief was short-lived. Sitting next to him was Vivian, Parker’s ex-wife. The sight of her stirred an unwelcome pang of insecurity. You didn't want to feel that way. You liked Vivian, and you had little reason to feel the way you did, but you knew your irrational feelings had everything to do with your even more irrational feelings for Parker

“Dad, you didn’t tell me you were coming,” Parker said, his tone casual but edged with surprise.

“I wasn’t going to, but Viv convinced me,” Roman replied, nodding toward his companion.

Vivian smiled politely, but her gaze flickered to you, cool and appraising. The weight of her scrutiny made you shift uncomfortably in your seat. You brought your hands to your lap, nervously fidgeting until Parker’s hand found yours, stilling your movements.

“You okay?” he asked, leaning in close enough for only you to hear.

“Yeah,” you lied, forcing a smile.

He removed his hand with a small nod. A few moments later, wedding music echoed off the walls and you all stood to welcome the bride as she walked down the aisle. 

You stole a glance at Vivian. She wasn't looking at you anymore, and you wondered if perhaps she was just as jealous of you as you were of her. She probably didn't expect to see Parker here with a woman. Or maybe she just didn't trust the situation.

After the newlyweds exchanged their vows, everyone made their way to the reception hall.

The reception was crowded, and you felt fine with Parker by your side, that was until he wasn’t anymoree. After the music began, and the newlyweds shared their first dance, couples began dancing together under soft lights. Your heart sank as you watched Parker and Vivian take to the floor. They moved effortlessly, their shared history evident in the way they laughed together.

A young man approached you, breaking your reverie. “Care to dance?” he asked, his smile probably charming to most, but you found it annoying considering your sudden sour mood.

You glanced at Parker, who gave you a small nod of encouragement from the dance floor. Pushing aside your disappointment, you placed your nearly empty glass of wine down and accepted the man’s hand.

He smiled at you, giving you a quick once over, “Is that your dad you came with?”

You felt heat rise to your face. “Um, no. We work together. His cousin is the bride.”

“Oh, I’m on the groom's side.” He said, twirling you gracefully before pulling you close again, his grip light yet steady. You tried to focus on the rhythm, but your mind wandered to Parker, his attention entirely on Vivian. The sight sent a dull pang through your chest, one you struggled to shake. After moments of going through the motions with your dance partner you were pulled from your thoughts.

"Having fun?" a familiar voice interrupted, startling you. You turned to see Parker, standing a little too close to ignore. His hazel eyes sparkled with amusement, and he extended a hand to you. "Mind if I cut in?"

Your dance partner hesitated but stepped aside, tipping his head politely. "She's all yours."

Parker’s hand settled comfortably on your waist, his other hand clasping yours. The warmth of his touch sent a ripple of awareness through you, one you hoped he didn’t notice.

Parker observed you, tilting his head slightly to study your face. His voice was soft, his gaze curious. “Something on your mind?”

You hesitated, your eyes darting briefly to your previous dance partner, who was now chatting animatedly with another guest near the edge of the dance floor. Parker followed your gaze, his lips curling into a teasing smirk.

“Ah,” he said, his tone playful. “Caught your eye, did he?”

Your face flushed instantly. “What? No!” you protested, far too quickly. “He just asked me to dance.” If only Parker knew it wasn't that stranger who caught your eye. It was him and your gaze has been unwavering ever since.

“Hmm,” Parker murmured, clearly unconvinced. His grin widened, and his gaze flickered back to you. “Then why are you so defensive?”

You rolled your eyes, desperately trying to deflect. “Well, what about you and Vivian? You two seem pretty close. It’s nice that you’re still good friends. That can’t be easy, considering, well, everything.”

Parker’s expression shifted slightly, his amusement giving way to something softer, more thoughtful. “Viv and I have a lot of history,” he admitted, his tone quieter now. “We didn’t end things on bad terms, so staying friends just made sense. She’s family, in a way. Her and my dad are still very close.”

You nodded, your fingers fidgeting slightly against his shoulder. “That’s admirable. Not every divorced couple can manage that.”

“It wasn’t easy at first,” Parker said with a small shrug. “But we found something that worked, and it’s been good since.”

The weight of his words hung between you, and for a moment you were too aware of the space, or lack thereof, between you two. The song shifted to something slower, the tempo almost forcing you to step closer. His hand on your waist tightened slightly and you reveled in it, even if it was just because of the dance.

“You’re still quiet,” Parker remarked again, his voice softer this time, almost a whisper. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You swallowed hard, your gaze flickering away from his intense eyes. “I’m fine,” you lied, your voice not as steady as you’d hoped. “It’s just been a long day.”

Parker didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t press further. Instead, he held you a little closer, his thumb brushing absentmindedly along the fabric at your waist. “Well, in case I haven’t said it yet,” he murmured, his voice carrying a warmth that made your pulse quicken, “you look stunning tonight.”

Your cheeks heated again, and you couldn’t stop the small, bashful smile that tugged at your lips. “Thanks,” you said softly. He did say you looked incredible when he picked you up, but the way he spoke now just felt different. Did Parker find you attractive? He probably did, but was he attracted to you was the real question you wanted to know.

The rest of the dance passed in comfortable silence, the weight of unspoken feelings lingering between you. As the song ended and Parker reluctantly stepped back, you couldn’t help but wonder if he too felt that quiet pull, the unshakable connection.

But before you could dwell too long on the thought, Parker offered you a crooked smile. “C’mon,” he said, motioning toward the dessert table. “Let’s find something to indulge my sweet tooth.”

“Good, I can use another glass of wine too.” You said and followed him, your heart still fluttering.

At the dessert table, Parker carefully balanced two small plates piled high with slices of cake, his expression one of pure determination. You couldn’t help but laugh as he handed you one and grabbed a fork for himself. 

“What?” he asked, grinning as he caught your amused look. “I take dessert very seriously.”

“Clearly,” you teased, taking a small bite of the cake. It was rich, full of flavor, and just sweet enough to make you sigh with contentment. “Okay, I get it now. This is worth the hype.”

Parker chuckled softly, his gaze lingering on you for a beat too long before he spoke. “Told you. Weddings might not be my thing, but the cake always makes it worthwhile.”

You felt the heat of his attention and quickly took a sip of wine, the warmth spreading through your chest now more than just from the alcohol. Parker’s presence, his easy smile, the way he always seemed so effortlessly thoughtful, was starting to make your head spin. Or maybe that was the wine.

You finished your dessert, getting yet another glass of wine to wash it down all while Parker continued to eat, obviously not ready to let go of his sweets just yet. You found it cute how his face lit up while he ate. He leaned in conspiratorially. “Want to sneak out for a bit? I could use some fresh air.”

You nodded, grateful for the excuse to escape the crowd and the persistent ache of watching him interact with Vivian earlier. Together, you slipped outside into the crisp night air, the sound of laughter and music fading as the two of you wandered toward a quiet garden behind the venue.

The stars above sparkled like tiny diamonds, their brilliance mirrored in the soft glow of the fairy lights strung through the trees. You hugged your arms to yourself, more for comfort than warmth, as Parker fell into step beside you.

“You okay?” he asked gently, his voice breaking the comfortable silence. “I know I sound like a broken record, but you really have been quieter than usual.”

You hesitated, your fingers fidgeting with the hem of your dress. The wine was making you bolder than usual, and for a moment, you considered brushing off his question. But Parker was looking at you with that familiar mix of curiosity and concern, and it made your chest ache.

“It’s nothing,” you said, though your voice didn’t carry much conviction. You gestured vaguely toward the sky. “Just one of those nights, I guess. Too much wine I suppose.”

Parker’s brow furrowed slightly, and he stopped walking, turning to face you fully. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Your laugh came out softer than you intended, almost wistful. “That’s the thing, Parker. Sometimes you make it hard to not tell you everything.”

He tilted his head, his expression shifting to something you couldn’t quite read. “Why’s that?”

You glanced away, staring at the stars as if they held the answer. “You’re just always kind to me and always patient with me. Albeit, a little sarcastic," You snorted, and Parker turned to look down at you with mirth in his eyes.

"Did you just use the word albeit?"

You shot him a glare, "As I was saying. You do things like invite me to a wedding just so I wouldn’t spend another weekend cooped up alone.” You trailed off, realizing you were rambling. “You’re just you.”

Parker’s lips quirked into a small smile, his voice soft when he spoke. “I don’t think you realize how easy you make it for me.”

Your gaze snapped to his, your heart skipping a beat. “What do you mean?”

“You,” he said simply, as though the words had always been there, just waiting to be said. “I enjoy your company.”

The weight of his words hung between you, and for a moment, you felt like the ground had shifted beneath your feet. You swallowed hard, your pulse hammering in your ears. The wine buzzed in your system, loosening your tongue just enough for the truth to slip out.

“Sometimes I think I like spending time with you a little too much,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Parker’s eyes widened slightly. You knew you said too much. He blinked, surprise flickering across his face as if he hadn’t quite heard you right. He stared at you for a beat longer than was comfortable, his fork frozen mid-air over his slice of cake.

“Um,” he started slowly, his voice tinged with uncertainty, “are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

You froze, realizing too late how much your words had revealed. The weight of his gaze made your chest tighten. “I didn’t mean,” you stammered, your cheeks burning. “Look, just forget I said anything, okay?”

He didn’t respond right away, his fork finally lowering to his plate. His brows knitted together, and for a moment, he looked as though he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. Instead, his gaze flickered away from you, toward the stars above, his thoughts clearly racing.

“I’m sorry,” you added quickly, “I’ve had too much wine. That’s all. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Y/N,” Parker interrupted gently, his voice still low but insistent. His eyes met yours again, and you could see the hesitation in them, the cautious way he was picking through his thoughts. “It’s not that I don’t, well, it’s just,” He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair, his usual calm demeanor visibly shaken. “You’re younger than me. I’m your boss. It’s—”

“Complicated,” you finished for him, your lips pressing into a small, strained smile. “I know. Trust me, I know. That’s why I shouldn’t have said anything. Just forget it, okay?”

He stared at you for a moment longer, his expression unreadable. Then, without a word, he turned his attention back to his dessert, his fork clinking softly against the plate. You did the same with your wine, the tension between you palpable as you both sat in silence. The sweetness of the cake and wine felt muted now, the air between you too thick with everything unsaid.

You felt like such an idiot. How could you be so stupid to insinuate such a thing to your team leader, to a man clearly old enough to be your father? You wanted to walk into the night and just disappear into a void of nothing. It was embarrassing.

After a few moments, Parker finally broke the silence. “You’re asking me to forget something that I’m not sure I can,” he admitted, his voice quieter now, almost as if he were talking to himself.

You glanced at him, startled by the confession. “What do you mean?” you asked, your voice cautious. Was he trying to admit he felt something too, or was your mind playing tricks on you?

He set his fork down as he met your gaze again. There was a vulnerability in his expression now, one you weren’t used to seeing from him. “Just,” he began slowly, carefully, “that I’ve thought about this before. About you. And I’ve told myself over and over again that it’s better to leave it alone. That it’s just easier that way.”

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. “And now?”

He hesitated, his jaw tightening as he looked away again, his eyes scanning the garden like he might find the answer hidden in the foliage. “Now, I don’t know,” he said honestly. 

His words hit you like a tidal wave, but before you could respond, he shook his head, a small, humorless laugh escaping him. “I’m sorry,” he said, his tone softer now, almost apologetic. “This isn’t fair to you.”

“Parker,” you interrupted, your voice firm despite the tremble in your hands. “Don’t apologize. Please.”

He looked at you again, his expression conflicted. “You’re right. It’s complicated,” he said after a long pause. “And I need to think hard before I say or do something I can’t take back.”

You nodded, your chest aching as you forced a small smile. “I get it,” you said softly. “Really, I do.”

For a while, the two of you sat there in the quiet garden in silence. The weight of the conversation lingered between you, unspoken but impossible to ignore. And though nothing had been resolved, the air between you seemed different.

-

The drive back was quiet.

The sound of the engine and Parker's choice of music filled the space between you, neither of you daring to break the silence. Parker’s hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles faintly pale against the leather. You stole a glance at him, noticing the way his jaw was clenched, like he was deep in thought or maybe fighting with himself.

You weren’t sure what to say, and honestly, you weren’t sure if you should say anything at all. The tension from earlier still hung in the air, thick and heavy, leaving you to pick nervously at the hem of your dress.

When Parker pulled up outside your apartment building, the car rolled to a stop, and for a moment, neither of you moved. The quiet stretched, the weight of unspoken words settling in your chest. Finally, he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car, moving to your side to open the door for you.

The two of you walked to your door in silence, the sound of your heels clicking softly against the pavement the only thing breaking the stillness.

When you reached your apartment door, you turned to face him, clutching your clutch tightly in both hands. Parker stood just a step away, his hands buried deep in his pockets, his shoulders slightly hunched like he was bracing himself against the night chill, or maybe his own thoughts.

“Good night,” he said finally, his voice low and steady.

“Good night,” you replied softly.

He hesitated, his eyes meeting yours, as if searching for something. Then, before you could react, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your cheek. It was soft, tentative, and yet it sent a jolt of warmth through you that made your breath catch.

“Thanks for coming with me tonight,” he murmured, his lips just barely brushing your skin as he pulled back.

The moment lingered awkwardly, both of you standing too close, and neither of you willing to step away. The air between you felt voltaic, and your heart pounded in your chest as his gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips and back again.

“Parker,” you started, your voice unsteady, but you didn’t get the chance to finish.

His hands reached up, seizing your face with a sudden urgency that made your breath hitch. And then his lips were on yours, hard and demanding, his kiss stealing the words from your mouth and replacing them with something far more primal.

Your clutch dropped to the floor as your hands instinctively found their way to his chest, clutching the fabric of his suit jacket as you kissed him back just as fiercely. The world around you disappeared, the only thing that mattered was the way his lips moved against yours, the warmth of his hands on your skin. You moaned into the kiss, pushing yourself flush against him. Your back hit the door, his hands moving to your waist to grip the fabric of your dress. You closed your eyes as he stippled soft kisses down your neck, and you buried your fingers in his hair.

But just as quickly as it began, it ended. Parker pulled back abruptly, his breathing unsteady, his hands lingering on your waist for a moment longer before falling away.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” he said, his voice rough, filled with equal parts regret and something deeper, something raw. He took a shaky step back, running a hand through his hair. “Good night.”

Before you could respond, he turned and walked away, his pace brisk, almost hurried. You stood frozen in place, watching him retreat to his car, your heart pounding and your lips still tingling from the kiss.

When he climbed into his car and drove off, you let out a shaky breath, finally letting yourself move. You unlocked your door and stepped inside, closing it behind you with a soft click. You leaned back against it and let out a long sigh, your head tilting back as you tried to process what had just happened.

Your fingers brushed your lips and then your neck, the memory of his kiss still fresh, still vivid. You could still feel the roughness of his beard against your skin, and the way his lips left soft kisses down your neck. You shivered at the recollection, yet he ripped himself from you too easily. You had no idea what this meant. What any of it meant but you knew one thing for sure.

 Work was going to be interesting.

. 

The next workday felt different, though you weren’t sure if it was real or just in your head. Parker had come in as he usually did, setting a box of pastries on his desk for the team, a small gesture of normalcy that only seemed to highlight how not normal things felt now.

The team gathered like clockwork, drawn to the smell of freshly baked goods, but you lingered at your desk, unwilling to engage too quickly.

Jessica Knight grabbed a pastry first, taking a big bite before leaning casually against Parker’s desk. “So,” she started, her voice light and curious, “how was the wedding?”

Parker, who was in the midst of placing his jacket over his chair, froze for the briefest of moments. He recovered quickly, straightening and offering a tight smile. “Good,” he said simply, his tone clipped.

Knight raised an eyebrow, clearly expecting more. “That’s it? Just ‘good’? I figured with you dragging Y/N along, there’d be some kind of funny story.”

Your heart lurched at the mention of your name, and you busied yourself with your computer screen, pretending to be engrossed in an email.

“Nope,” Parker said quickly, almost too quickly. “It was a nice wedding.” He cleared his throat and turned back to his files, signaling the end of the conversation.

But Nick wasn’t about to let it go. “So,” he called out with a sly grin. “How about you? Did you have fun?”

You froze, your hands pausing mid-typing as all eyes turned to you. You forced a smile, keeping your gaze firmly on your computer screen. “Yeah,” you said, your voice slightly too bright. “It was nice.”

The tension in the room was visible, and you could feel everyone’s curiosity like a weight pressing down on you. Knight’s gaze lingered, her sharp eyes darting between you and Parker, but for once, she didn’t press further.

Nick, however, let out a low whistle. “Okay, well, that was awkward,” he said with a chuckle, grabbing another pastry.

You muttered something about needing coffee and quickly excused yourself, heading for the break room and praying no one followed. All you could think about was the kiss and Parker's retreating form as he scurried away from you like a mouse from a cat. How were you supposed to work with him when you couldn't even look at him anymore?

-

The rest of the day passed in a blur, though you were painfully aware of every moment Parker spent in the same room as you. He didn’t try to talk to you, not that you gave him much of a chance. You avoided his gaze, kept your responses brief, and made yourself as inconspicuous as possible.

But as the afternoon wore on, you couldn’t avoid him forever.

You stepped into the elevator on your way to drop off some files, only for the doors to slide open again almost immediately. Parker stepped inside, his presence filling the small space and making the air feel heavier.

“Hey,” he said quietly, his tone cautious.

You nodded stiffly, keeping your eyes on the glowing panel of floor numbers.

The silence stretched, thick and unbearable, until Parker suddenly reached over and hit the emergency stop button. The elevator jolted to a halt, and the lights dimmed slightly, bathing the small space in a muted glow.

You turned to him, startled. “What are you doing?”

“Yeah,” he began, his voice steady but low, “we need to talk about last night.”

“There’s no need,” you said quickly, your voice sharp as you crossed your arms over your chest. “It’s fine. Just leave it.”

He stepped closer, his brow furrowed, his hands clenched at his sides. “It’s not fine,” he said firmly. “I crossed a line, and I need to apologize for that.”

“Don’t,” you cut him off, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and something deeper. “Don’t apologize again.”

He blinked, taken aback by the bitterness in your tone. "I was out of line.”

“I wish you wouldn’t say that.” you snapped, your words coming out harsher than you intended. “Just drop it, okay? Pretend it didn’t happen. You’re my boss, and it’s complicated, and I get it. I get it, Parker.”

The hurt in your voice was undeniable, and Parker’s expression shifted, guilt flickering across his face. He opened his mouth to respond, but you shook your head, holding up a hand to stop him.

“Don’t make this harder than it already is,” you said quietly, your voice breaking slightly.

For a moment, the two of you just stood there, the silence heavy with all the things you weren’t saying. Finally, Parker nodded, his jaw tightening as he reached out to release the emergency stop. The elevator jolted back to life, the lights returning to full brightness as the hum of movement filled the space once more.

When the doors slid open, you stepped out without a word, your heart pounding in your chest as you walked away. This time you were like the mouse running from the cat and you couldn't bring yourself to look back.

And Parker? He stayed behind in the elevator, leaning back against the wall and running a hand over his face, the weight of what happened pressing down on him like a tidal wave.

-

The next time you and Parker said anything to each other was on the field. You mostly kept things professional, but now you were knee deep in a new case, and you had no choice but to interact.

Your suspect was hiding away somewhere in a cabin, and you and Parker went to question them. Of course, they ran off into the woods, only making themselves look more guilty.

"We've got a runner!" You shouted as you took off after them. You were fast, but the suspect obviously knew the woods better than either of you, navigating the trails with ease.

The sound of snapping branches and heavy breathing filling the air as you chased the suspect through the uneven terrain. Adrenaline coursed through your veins, the pounding of your boots against the forest floor matched the thudding of your heart. Parker was just a few steps behind you. You didn’t slow down.

The suspect glanced over his shoulder, his eyes wild as he realized how close you were. He darted to the left, trying to lose you in the dense trees, but you pushed harder, your legs burning as you closed the distance between you. You heard Parker call your name, telling you to be careful, but you didn’t stop.

You caught up to him just as he stumbled over a fallen log. Launching yourself forward, you tackled him to the ground. He let out a grunt of surprise, but before you could pin him fully, he twisted beneath you, throwing an elbow that knocked the wind out of you. You gasped, trying to recover, but he was quick. He shoved you off, scrambling to his feet as you fought to regain yours.

Parker’s voice called from somewhere behind you, but you barely registered it. The suspect turned on you again, swinging wildly. You ducked, countering with a punch to his side that made him stagger. You went to grab him, but with a sudden burst of strength, he shoved you hard.

Your foot slipped on the damp earth, and before you could find your balance, you felt your body lurch backward. The world tilted, and suddenly you were falling. The edge of the embankment crumbled beneath you, and you plummeted down a small ledge, crashing into the freezing rush of the river below.

The icy water hit you like a brick wall, stealing the breath from your lungs as the current dragged you under. You fought to break the surface, your limbs thrashing as the water pushed and pulled at you mercilessly. Panic set in as you struggled to stay afloat, the roar of the river filling your ears.

“Y/N!” Parker’s voice cut through the chaos, and through the blur of water and adrenaline, you saw him at the edge of the riverbank. His eyes were wide with fear as he searched for you, his weapon already holstered, his pursuit of the suspect completely abandoned.

Without hesitation, Parker leapt into the water. The current dragged at him immediately, but he fought against it, his desperate strokes propelling him toward you. You managed to grab onto a jagged rock protruding from the water, clinging to it desperately as he closed the distance.

“Hold on!” he shouted, his voice strained.

When he finally reached you, his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you free from the rock and against his chest. You could feel the strength in his grip as he fought to keep both of you above water, his breath ragged as he swam toward the shore.

After what felt like an eternity, Parker dragged you onto the muddy riverbank, collapsing beside you as the two of you gasped for air. Your body trembled violently, both from the cold and the adrenaline still coursing through your veins.

“Y/N,” Parker rasped, his voice shaky as he sat up and pulled you into his arms. “Oh, thank God. Thank God you’re okay.”

You sank against him, your head resting on his shoulder as his arms wrapped around you tightly, like he couldn’t bear to let go. His hand brushed over your face, wiping away the wet strands of hair clinging to your skin as his eyes searched yours.

“I thought I lost you,” he said, his voice cracking slightly.

Your heart ached at the raw emotion in his words, and without a second thought, you reached up, your hand brushing his cheek. His gaze softened, and before you could even process what was happening, the two of you leaned in at the same time, your lips crashing together in a desperate, breathless kiss.

The kiss was messy, urgent, and filled with days of yearning since your last one. His hands cupped your face as you gripped his shirt, pulling him closer, neither of you caring about the mud or the cold. The kiss was pure, unspoken emotion, a silent confirmation of everything that had been building between you.

When you finally broke apart, you pressed your foreheads together as you tried to catch your breath. The world felt quieter now, the roar of the river fading into the background. Parker’s thumb brushed over your cheek, his eyes searching yours as if to make sure you were really okay.

You broke the silence first, a faint smile tugging at your lips. “If you apologize again, I swear I’m going to throw you in the river.”

A startled laugh burst from him, the tension breaking as he smiled down at you. “Noted,” he said, his voice warm with amusement.

And then he kissed you again, slower this time, his lips lingering on yours like he wanted to savor every second. As your arms wrapped around each other, the chaos of the day faded into the background. For now, this moment was all that mattered.

[thsc-scattered-stars]

Hey y'all! Got an announcement

So... I've been debating this for the past few days. Turning it over in my head, thinking and then rethinking about it- and I decided it was probably best. I'm going on hiatus for a little bit! Now, I don't know how long- I hope only a week or two- but it's hard to know for certain.

Now... the why. Well, to simply put it- I am close to a burn out. And I really, REALLY don't want to deal with a burn out if I can help it, so... I'm gonna be taking some time to myself, maybe doodle now and again and post it on my main blog, but mostly just doing other things so I can hopefully avoid that burn out. Hopefully.

But, hey! While I won't be drawing for the ask comic specifically, or doing any big pieces in general, I will still answer any ooc asks towards me! I'll still be around, just... not drawing for the comic for a little bit.

But yeah! Just wanted to let you all know!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Oh Skinzun, we're really in it now...

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

[thy-lovelylionheart]

I hate when people say that Finn’s acting has gotten worse because the airport scene is a prime example of how fantastic he is at micro expressions and acting with his eyes.

When he first asks about the painting, he hesitates. His neck is tense, like he had to take a deep breath and steel himself before daring to ask about it. But his eyes are also bright and hopeful and engaged. He wants the painting to be for him. We see how happy he is in the van that the painting was for him, so I have no doubt that if Will had said it was a painting for him, Mike would have been elated in the moment, even if he would have had to try and tamp it down in front of El.

Then after Will lies and says it's nothing but also confirms that it is a painting and doesn't tell Mike that it's for him, Mike's eyes just. Die. The light is gone. His neck is still tense and now so is the rest of his face. He is so disappointed and trying so hard to hide it, but doing an absolutely miserable job that only gets worse in the next shot.

Mike is upset and he is anxious. He is so tense and trying so hard to figure out what the hell to do or say. And frankly, I don't blame him! Because:

Will doesn't elaborate at all about why he brought the painting – in fact, Mike's awkward shoulder punch put Will so off balance that Will shuts down immediately. He doesn't ask Mike how he's doing, say that it's great to see him, really any sort of verbal greeting. He doesn't even say "Hey!" when going to hug Mike. All Will actually says in the airport scene is 1) answering about the painting, 2) "Friends? What friends?" + "Angela?"

And this in turn puts Michael "He's quiet today." Wheeler off balance. Because Will Byers is normally "quiet" to everyone but Mike.

Will viewed the avoidance of a hug as rejection, and now Mike is viewing the lack of verbal dialogue as rejection. Yes, Will answers the question, but he answers it by avoiding and dismissing, like how Mike avoided the hug and only gave a bro-punch on the shoulder.

I've seen people try and argue that Mike was worried that Will has feelings for him and that's why he's so awkward to Will in this scene. Even I thought that was the case when I first watched it, back before I shipped Byler! But it frankly makes no sense, because when we sit down and actually look at Mike's face, it's so obvious that he wanted that painting to be for him, and the "fact" lie of it not being for him upset him.

Why would Mike be upset that a painting that El speculated was for "a girl" and "someone Will likes" isn't actually for him if he didn't want Will to like him? Wouldn't he feel relieved and visibly relax, not tense up?

Will not giving it to him confirms in Mike's mind that either Will has romantic feelings for someone else, or he has a new best friend that he has replaced Mike with. It's honestly likely that both possibilities are haunting him at the same time, because of the classic, "He is my best friend and the love of my life," trope both in media and irl. For Byler especially, it's absolutely a case of "both."

People only think Finn's acting has gotten "worse" because they are making assumptions of how they think Mike should be acting in certain scenes, and they think Finn is failing to convey what they assume he should be, when in reality, he's conveying exactly what Mike is feeling and thinking – people are just misunderstanding Mike and refusing to accept alternatives.

Dropping Byler Evidence Every (Other) Day Until Season 5

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ Day 23: Airport Hug(s) . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

I haven't done one of these in a little bit because I'm just getting moved back in at university but I'm glad to be back! This time, we are looking over Mike and El's airport hug vs. Mike and Will's.

These two scenes are extremely different. It is clear which one the writers and directors gave more importance. AKA which one is supposed to be the main focal point of the scene. If you think that the meeting scene in the airport is supposed to be all about Mil*ven and how cute their relationship is, I'm sorry but you are not watching the same show as I am. The airport hug between Mike and El and the airport 'hug' between Mike and Will are supposed to convey these messages:

Something is wrong with Mike and El's relationship and they are trying to push it down, meaning it will come to the surface later.

It has something to do with the way Mike's acting.

Something has changed internally within Mike between Season 3 and Season 4.

This something is to do with Will.

You are supposed to notice Mike's actions towards Will more than his actions towards El.

This is how I will structure this ESSAY ASS POST

Number One:

Something is wrong with Mike and El's relationship. It may not seem this way from the beginning, in fact, it seems very much like they are back to the way they used to be at the beginning of S3, apart from the making out- um yeah, so it all seems well. But that's the thing.

Developed relationships with depth, relationships that the audience need to crave for, do not get presented in this super cutesy, teenager-y love way. Unless there are other stakes. In Stranger Things, it is apparent to us that there is always something off when characters seem Too Happy. Something will go wrong, things won't stay the same as they were at the beginning of the Season. I really don't know how to describe it, but basically what I'm saying is, even in their cute moments, the audience needs to sense that something is off. Even if it's very minute.

The kiss is cute. But that's all it is. There are no stakes behind it, nothing bad has happened yet, which is why an audience who likes the couple already may feel happy with it. But a GA may be able to sense that this is unlike other kisses or meetings in ST. The kiss is not after a fight, the kiss is not after a long time of pining, the kiss is not an 'i can't lose you' kiss, the kiss is not a 'relief after a long time of fighting through something' kiss. It's just a kiss.

You may be thinking this is a bit harsh, but the GA also know another thing. El is lying to Mike. Her letter foreshadows problems for their relationship instantly.

From her letter, we know that she is lying about having a good time at school and in California. The audience may then believe that there must be something wrong with their relationship if she feels the need to lie. Especially El, the one who always says 'Friends don't lie' and got annoyed at Mike lying last season.

So this kiss isn't supposed to be cute. It's supposed to be tense. Because we are supposed to know that she's lying to him, and narratively, the truth always gets revealed.

Therefore, the audience is supposed to take away from this interaction not that Mike and El are a cute couple, but that El is trying to hide stuff for a reason.

And the audience quickly gets their reason why:

Number Two:

The reason why El's been so weird with Mike, the question that is ringing around in the audience's head get's half-answered with the next sequence.

The audience should know that something is wrong based on the way that the happy music suddenly shifts to something far more morose, and El looks hesitant before faking a smile. JUST as she fakes her happiness in her letters.

Therefore, the audience sees it is somehow Mike's fault she feels the need to act this way. So far, we have ticked off two problems in their relationship: El is lying to Mike, and El seems upset at the unfeeling note Mike made. These must be linked together.

I also think that the audience see that it is signed in such an unfeeling way, despite the kiss. This means that the kiss at the beginning no longer seems genuine at all. So obviously, the audience must be wondering where this is all coming from , and why Mike is upsetting El.

Number Three:

Something has changed internally within Mike. The time between Season 3 and Season 4 has drastically changed Mike's actions towards both El and Will. We know that suddenly Mike is being unfeeling towards her in his note, meaning that the rest of his interactions don't seem as genuine to the audience. This may be a different view they had from Season 3.

They have just been introduced to a change in El's behaviour towards Mike (she now lies to him), meaning there must have been a change in Mike's behaviour to have caused this. And this is all internal between seasons:

What changed?

Now, we should get the answer when we look back at the end of Season 3. Mike looks back at Will's house. He hugs his mom like he's numb and just realised something huge. The monologue over the top keeps saying how he doesn't 'want things to change'.

Later, in the apology scene in Will's room, we find out that Mike was afraid of losing Will, which is why he got mad at Will seeming standoffish.

SO WE GET THIS SCENE WHERE WE ARE INTRODUCED TO MIKE BEING SUPER WEIRD WITH EL AND THIS IS ODD SO HE MUST HAVE CHANGED AND THEN HE ACTS WEIRD WITH WILL SO IT ALL POINTS TO.........

Number Four:

The reason why he has changed with El is because of Will. The reason why he seems so unfeeling towards El yet so disingenuous and unlike himself is all because of Will. The way he acts, the way he writes notes, it all boils down to this moment in the scene.

Will is reason he's nervous. Will is the reason things have shifted.

If something has changed internally within Mike to clearly act differently enough with El to make her lie to him, AND something to make him act weird with Will, then they must be linked together.

Besides, if we want to go the super obvious, on the face of it analysis - Mike is simply nervous because his feelings have been realised. He doesn't want to let them show so he can keep up this disingenuous relationship with El. He just wants to seem normal. It all adds up.

Harking back to El's letter, she mentioned one thing about Will, and that was that he was painting something for a girl that he had never told Mike about. And Mike acts standoffish about the painting when Will confirms that it probably isn't for him. It's clear as day - he's nervous to keep up this facade, he's jealous that Will's not making paintings for him, and he's been scared of losing Will (confirmed later on).

I mean, this might be all well and fine. Mike might not be having an impactful scene with Will, after all--

OKAY I CAN'T EVEN TYPE IT OMG ONTO THE NEXT POINT

Number Five:

Mike's big problem has to boil down to Will. This is proven by the fact that we are supposed to focus on this interaction far more than his interaction with El.

First of all, it is important to note that the directors of the show are intentional with where they place extras during a scene. They have free will, and we an see their choices being made during the airport reunion.

In the first and last Milkvan kissing scene, the camera is focused on them, yes, but it is very busy. Watch the shippers try to edit this scene, the duffers really said. I mean, it was so hard to take a screenshot of them without a person in the way of the camera. This is not by accident.

Mike is wearing a visor, he's holding a bag so he can barely hug her, he's also wearing sunglasses inside?? You can't see his facial expression, making this seem even more disingenuous. Again, people are moving in front of the camera, it's very very busy.

It's supposed to be a little overwhelming. That is not a coincidence, they aren't filming in an actual busy airport. So so many extras walk in front of them during the whole scene, not just the kiss, but while they are speaking as well.

Compared to the scene with Will...

No extras pass in front of them, the camera is closed in on their facial expressions, making them very clear without obstruction what they are feeling. This tells the audience to look quickly! This is important!

This is why the main takeaway from this scene is not at all about how 'cute' Mil*ven are. It is supposed to remind you of the problems in Mike and El's relationship, introduce that Mike has changed between S3 and S4, making him seem disingenuous and wanting to seem 'normal'. And that this is all because of something to do with Will.

And based on the clues that he's repressing a lot of his emotions all of a sudden, he's heard that Will is painting for someone else, he's being unfeeling toward El because of Will for some reason..... Mike's problem is that he is trying to deny or repress feelings for Will.

Atp it seems too obvious to post.

[setmeatopthepyre]

so it looks like my confidence in my writing ability lasted uhh almost three weeks

[anthromimicry]

[skyward-floored]

I once again am looking at comments on a fic and wondering if people will be mad at me for the ending

[candyriku]

I unfortunately find myself unable to work on my current Soriku fic today due to my mental state, but I was able to make a bit of a teaser for the next big Soriku fanfiction that will be coming sometime after JTSYS is finished.

You can read it under the cut, but TW for blood, death, and uh, general misery. This has been cathartic for me to write but the whole idea of this fic is that things are impossibly doomed, so be warned - this is not the happy fun zone.

Blood. There was so much blood.

He had smelled it before even seeing it, the metallic scent thick in his nose before he had even rounded the corner. He had tried to convince himself that it was his own bleeding wound that he smelled, or maybe the blood of something else, someone else, but in his heart, he knew the truth. He picked up his pace, sprinting at top speed now, his sneakers splashing through shallow puddles on the wet pavement. 

When his eyes finally came to rest on the crumpled form at the end of the alley, the breath was knocked out of his chest as though someone had taken a baseball bat to his sternum. He knew, of course he knew, but he had hoped-

No. It didn’t matter what he hoped for. Hopes and wishes weren’t for people that walked his path. He had been denied the right to hope for anything ages ago. When he had signed that contract, signed away his soul, he forfeited all the cushy pleasures of a normal life. He had given up his chance of knowing peace.

But it had been worth it. If it was for Sora, anything was worth it.

Standing over Sora’s blood-soaked body, Riku tried to remind himself of that truth, the one thing that he had tethered his heart to all this time. It was worth it. Even if the chance of Sora making it out alive were next to none, there was still a chance. He could still fight.

One of these loops, Riku would get it right. He would figure out how to keep Sora safe, how to protect him from this accursed dimension where everything was designed to end his life. They would break out and live a normal life together, just the way they had always planned. 

There was a happy future waiting somewhere for the two of them. There had to be. Riku had gambled everything on it.

He crouched down, his shaking fingers gently brushing Sora’s tear-stained cheek. He could hardly stand to look at his face, but the sight of his broken, bleeding body was no better. The wounds were precise and lethal, and Riku was far too late.

No matter how many dozens of times he had watched Sora die, it never got easier. It never stopped feeling like his chest was a black hole caving in on itself, his heart squeezed until it was nothing more than dust. 

He couldn’t look. He couldn't look away.

Riku kneeled and placed both of Sora’s hands over his heart. He was about to speak and begin the incantation that would throw them both back to the starting point again, but Sora suddenly stirred, weakly reaching one hand up towards Riku’s face.

“Riku…” his voice was barely more than a whisper. 

“I’m here,” Riku said, the words catching in his throat. “Don’t speak. You can rest now. It’s okay.”

He hated to say it. He wanted to plead with Sora, wanted to beg him to stay. But if Riku had learned anything throughout the loops, it was that nothing came of begging. There was no one to answer his prayers; benevolent forces did not dwell here. At best, all it would accomplish would be making Sora sad in his final moments. At worst, future loops would be impacted by Riku’s words to Sora, twisting the knife further. He had seen it enough to know what to avoid now.

“I don’t want…” There was a weighted pause. “...Don’t want to leave you.” The pool of blood continued to grow. Riku knew - though he wished that he didn’t - that Sora wouldn’t be able to maintain consciousness for much longer at this rate. He could hardly believe Sora was awake even now. 

“We’ll meet again.” he assured Sora softly, trying to keep his voice steady. “Don’t worry. It'll be okay.” 

“You…” This pause was longer, much longer, and Riku was all but sure that Sora would not speak again. Finally, with a wet cough, Sora continued. “You promise?”

“I promise.” Riku lied. He leaned forward and kissed Sora’s forehead, his lips lingering there for several long moments as he took steadying breaths. 

“Mm… ‘kay.” Sora managed. “Love you… so much.” 

“I love you too.” Riku said, clenching his teeth so hard his jaw popped. He wanted to scream. After taking a moment to compose himself, he sat up and offered his best imitation of a smile to Sora. Better for him to see that than to see how broken Riku really was. 

The all-too-familiar faraway look settled on Sora’s face as the last of his breath left his body. Riku collapsed over him, the tears finally coming, the weight hitting him all at once with the force of a tidal wave. Even knowing that he would see Sora alive and well again in mere moments did nothing to comfort him. 

It didn't matter how many times Riku had seen it. It never got any easier to watch Sora die.

[blackbackedjackal]

Sometimes I think about how long some of you all have been following me and I'm like wow, ya'll really like watching this clown.

[muirmarie]

god i really want to sign up for a bad things happen bingo card and just like. write the messed up whump and h/c that my freaky (derogatory) little heart really wants lmaoooo, i haven't written h/c for the sake of h/c (aka without, like, turning it into a Fic) in so so so long, but also i have enough on my plate with ye olde trying to build a consistent writing habit with my mcspirk bingo card - which is more about writing stories for me lmao, and not just, like, me leaning over my keyboard in a dimly lit room rubbing my grubby little hands together as i hurt someone (leonard mccoy) and then let the people who love them kiss their forehead and comfort them.

but oh i was looking at the list of the prompts, and i was like, yeah, yeah i do actually want to let my h/c freak flag fly lmaoooooo

i know it's not a good idea because i do not want to let myself get overwhelmed and/or in over my head! but also. also. also. i still have le ongoing problem of wanting to turn everything into a capital-f Fic instead of just dashing off nonsense, like i'll dash off nonsense all day here lmaoooo, but when it comes to a story i want to??? this sounds so pretentious. i always want to write something??? Good???? i don't mean good writing or whateve,r i mean like a??? meaningful story??? (ugh so pretentious) (and to be clear i'm NOT saying i'm succeeding - only attempting!!!)

and the siren call of writing 1k about a cardboard cutout bad guy that has a knife to mccoy's throat while mccoy backtalks and kirk tries to bargain and mccoy is trying to hide the fact that he's already been stabbed in the side and spock has to carry him back once kirk shoots the bad guy??? listen. listen.

but also i do know myself and would i be Content with dashing off 1k nonsense or would i. still. the meaning. would i still the meaning. that's the question. the meaning. would i still.

am i looking at my neighbor's yard like wow that grass looks so green and takes no upkeep (probably), do i still want mccoy with a knife at his throat and jim's desperate eyes and steady voice and spock's steady eyes and the imperceptible tremble in his hands as he picks mccoy up from where he fell (absolutely)

i mean i could just get a card! it doesn't mean i have to write anything! (that's the devil speaking)

(the devil looks so hot tho)

(the devil's got them baby blues)

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

...