#i was having such a crappy day already i was just venting on that post

[dopecarmilla]

Madison square garden is forced to use ticket master, Ticketmaster in turn raises prices as time goes on especially because of the absolutely massive turn up to presale tickets. Personally, I showed up early for online presale, and was still 4000th in que. at that point, most front row seats were around 200-300 and most nose bleeds were >150. Dropout had nothing to do with pricing, it’s just unfortunately as the show says “Capitalism”

I was hoping it was just ticketmaster fuckery! Damn, well I’m sad I couldn’t afford the ticket but at least I don’t have to be disillusioned with the intrepid heroes

[mmcgemino]

How I almost went on stage with Gene Simmons (and also a heavy vent)

Today was the first day of Summer Breeze here in Brasil and Gene’s on the headline. I traveled 8 hours just to see him and Sebastian Bach play. I was so excited to see them and my mind was set on giving Gene a poster and a letter. I really wanted to give him a piece of my work and say how much KISS changed my life.

There was going to be a signing session at 3pm and when arrived there at 11am there was already a line. No problem for me, honestly, I could wait. But then somebody from the staff told us that the time changed for 7pm. I didn’t want the whole day of festival + Sebastian’s show, so I gave up on that.

Sebastian Bach’s show was amazing (I even got an autograph!). It was kinda short but I still had a lot of fun. Next would be Mr. Big (that I didn’t bother to watch) and then, finally, Gene’s band.

God, I was right in front of him. LITERALLY. This was my view the whole show:

I was SO close from the stage, already at the barrier (is that the right name in english?) It was actually funny, because the first thing he did when he finished the first song was to point at me and say with eyes wide opened: sua bunda é linda! That’s a silly thing he says every time he’s in Brasil. (There’s a video of him saying it on a tv show just for reference). I also had some silly interactions with him, like me motion grabbing his tits and him looking shocked. Honestly, if the show ended like that it would be just fine. I’ve never been this close to someone who’s so important to me, much less recognizing my presence and being silly with me. Hell, I didn’t even care about my letter anymore. It was a kick ass show.

But in the last song (that was obviously Rock n Roll All Night), he started calling a lot of girls on stage. There were some in front of me, between the tiny gap separating the stage from the fans. I guess they were sponsors, photographers or idk, more than VIP. But then he pointed at me and called me!!! What ??!????? It sounds just like a fanfic, unbelievable. And I swear on all my family that I ain’t lying. I crossed that barrier with the help of other people and ran backstage.

To have Gene pointing at YOU and calling YOU to be on stage with him is once in a lifetime. To be ON STAGE, my literal dream and goal in life. What I’ve been working for the past couple of years. To have the chance to give my letter to him and even sing by his side. With Gene fucking Simmons from KISS, my favorite band.

But when I got backstage, they told me that I couldn’t go. “There’s too many girls there.” I was the last one he picked and the only one who didn’t make it. I begged that guy, not from Gene’s production but from the event. I even cried. The securities around me were sorry but if I didn’t leave, their jobs would be on the line. I couldn’t even see the man leave the stage. I couldn’t even see the show end.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do from now on. There’s nothing to say, no consolation prize, nothing. “But there will be other shows, other opportunities”, that’s the kind of bullshit that I had to hear. No, there won’t be another Gene Simmons in Brasil calling me to be on stage. My life could have been changed forever.

I was never lucky, never won any raffles or had accomplished great achievements in life. In my letter, the first thing I wrote (as cheesy as it is) “If you’re reading this, everything is possible”. I also wrote how KISS literally changed my life when I went on their last tour here in Brasil, how they took me out of a really bad place and made me run after my dreams. It seems silly, part of me feels like an idiot to be that sad. But I just can’t get over this, can’t have any consolation on that. To be always “almost there” but never actually “there”.

Also, this is the poster I wanted to give him:

The quality is crap and I definitely could do better if I had more time. But I gave my all making it.

Sorry for the long post and the crappy sob story. This just happened like 2 hours ago and everything is still fresh. I decided to write this post because I wanted to share my frustration with people who understand that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

(Fun fact his pants were tearing up but nobody told him)

[inactivewattpadauthor]

Johnny Cage x Writer Reader: Basically What The Author Going Through

Warning: Venting. Title is self explanatory ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Your eye twitched as you hear the front door to the studio open and close. Just another noise is needed to distract you. Again! Fucking frustrating.

"Baby, I'm home!" Johnny calls happily for you, grunting as he drops his duffle bag aside, filled with his props or outfits or guns, or wherever the fuck job he came from today.

You didn't call back. Grumbling as you forced yourself to lock in on the page before you. You were about to pull out your hair. Nothing has came to your mind for the past hours... days.... WEEKS!

Only one draft is needed nearly one day a week. So why are you always scarce?

Footsteps thumped to your little office den. "Oh, don't tell me you're still nesting here." Johnny enters and frowns as he was very much told silently.

The death look you gave him just checking up on you.

"Y/n, you're still trying to think of what to write for your paper-"

"You don't get it, you pretty boy bastard!" You hissed.

"Easy, easy." The actor held his hands up in pacifist. "Okay, if it's this bad, why don't you just... step down for a bit. This was an off and on thing for you, right?"

"Okay, yes! It is an on and off hobby for me. But I start caring too much. I don't want to stop, at the same time, I can't keep up. And if I can't keep up, I'll have to redo it all over again."

You pace around the room and speak so fast for him. The concerned blind guy only just follows you with his eyes. Looking at you like the weird hysterical young woman you are.

"It's not like I can force myself to just write ANYTHING. I'm too bougie to be posting dog shit plots. It gets obvious." You add on.

"Okay, are your emails open for your readers? Maybe they can help-"

"𝐍 𝐎."

"Okay, got it." Cage cleared his throat and looked away.

"I already feel pressured since I don't feel that motivated. I don't need more pressure being added onto me like that. I don't miss that feeling."

You stop to breath before furrowing your eyes.

"My emails are always opened to my beloved readers. I like hearing what they have to say and think of my work. But I know the second I decide to take requests, I'm going to be the next Cory."

"Who?" Johnny raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, okay!" You held your face in your  hands and took deep, deep breaths. Finally, you'll stop talking very fast and crazy.

"I... I don't want to stop posting stories. But... without any passion to write... and how I can't think of what to write. I don't think it's possible anymore. I keep telling and telling that I'm running low on pages, that writer's block is itching me, I still force myself to keep up the every six days expectation. And I end up having to post something I feel is crappy or too overused."

You stopped there not knowing what else to say. But it felt some sort of good on your part.

Johnny got to speak. "Look, Y/n. I get what you're saying. And it's okay if you end up slowing down. You'll get back to it whenever your mind is ready. But you can't be too harsh with yourself because that's what makes the fun turn into some nasty prison cell, whatever."

He pats your shoulders reassuringly.

"There's so many other important things you have to do in life. So, who cares if you post a day late. Or two. Or a month. Or maybe even a year and a half. It's your call. Tell all those self expectations to fuck off!" He half jokes and holds a middle finger up with the exclaim.

"Right." You smile.

Wow that feels so much better our chest. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thank you :') I wish my creativity didn't go down otherwise I would try harder.

It's like the only time I get motivated is if I'm feeling freaky and decide to write about Fujin, and thats an example of overused. Ik some of yall like it, but I try to post different characters.

[stardewsnail]

Not the same anon, but those jealousy hcs were so good! Do you think you could write some for the bachelorettes? 👀 Please and thank you! 🖤

Snail’s directory 🖤Jealous Bachelorettes 🖤

🖤 Emily 

Emily tries to be connected to her emotions. She acknowledges the jealousy, meditates, maybe talks to Caroline for advice. She’s working through it consciously, letting herself feel before letting it go…

Except she can’t let it go.

Because every time she closes her eyes and tries to concentrate on her breathing, all she can see is the farmer’s red-stained face as they offered Leah a basket of wild spring onions. 

She will go around and around the jealousy trying to work it into something more productive

Eventually she’s just going to talk to the farmer, albeit indirectly

Might get Haley to help her gather intel on who the farmer has a crush on–Haley isn’t a gossip, but she is nosy. 

Over all Emily tries to handle it maturely, but she’s crushing hard and it’s making her act a little goofy

This will end with Emily shooting her shot and just confessing

🖤 Haley

Haley doesn’t get jealous. That would be totally beneath her—girls like her have no reason to ever be jealous.

So when the farmer came bouncing in front of her house she was certain there was about to be a knock at her door. But no, the farmer stopped in front of Skater boy, a cactus fruit held triumphantly in their hands. Sam lit up, of course, taking the gift and inviting the farmer in. She turned, storming back to her bedroom and slamming the door with more force than probably necessary. She had film to process anyway–she was much too busty to waste time on the farmer.

she’s absolutely seething and doesn’t know what to do about it

She’s never liked someone so much that she was actually jealous, this was a new feeling

If Haley and the farmer aren’t together then Haley is gonna end up regressing into a bit of a mean girl again. She might even snap at the person “stealing” her farmer (poor Sam doesn’t know what the fuck he did and he’s already a lil scared of Haley) 

If they’re together, then Haley isn’t nearly as mean but she gets pouty and extra needy but like…she just passive aggressively sits on the other side of the couch until the farmer notices and slides over to give her some love

Catch the farmer getting her something special from the mines the next day and taking care to spend a little extra time with her

🖤 Leah

Leah channels all her jealousy into her art. She knows she’s jealous—she’s passionate and she likes that about herself. Jealousy is just another emotion that needs to be felt and processed. She really doesn’t bring it up with the farmer unless they’re actually together in which case it would be a conversation along the lines of Leah saying 

“Hey I wanted to talk to you about something—I’m feeling insecure about x and I just wanna check in”

I think she’s one of the older bachelorettes and she’s had enough crappy relationships and post relationship therapy (she’s a big advocate that everyone needs therapy) to handle it directly and maturely. It will be fine as long as her partner can match her calm energy. And also I think Leah would, out of all of them, value platonic relationships just as much as romantic. She doesn’t want to stop the farmer from giving gifts to their friends; she's just asking for a lil reassurance. 

🖤 Abigail

Pre-relationship

Abigail will both hide away in her video games and be a little extra vicious in the mines. The big thing though, will be how hard she’s hitting the drums at band practice—it’s noticeable she’s playing out some angst. She’s absolutely not going to talk to the farmer about it, but she will vent to Sam and Seb. Sebastian offers some good advice, and Sam decides to take matters into his own hands and the next time he hangs out with the farmer he not so subtly asks about their dating life

The farmer misunderstands and basically says they’re flattered but that they like someone else

Sam quickly guesses that it’s Abigail with a huge grin, and tells the farmer that Pierre will have bouquets in stock soon

He reports back to Abigail who is mortified and quickly goes to the farmer to talk and clear things up (without a plan tbh she was just running on caffeine and panic) 

just imagine the farmer awkwardly holding a bouquet that Abigail doesn’t notice until she’s rambled for at least five minutes about her and the farmer and some esoteric commentary on the nature of relationships

at some point the farmer just holds up the flowers and Abigail stops short, red as a tomato

I don’t think Abigail would be significantly jealous once she was in a relationship. 

🖤 Maru

I imagine Maru is the most inexperienced in love when it comes to the bachelorettes. I HC her around 20 and as having been mostly home schooled. 

Pre-relationship

She absolutely over analyzes and tries to think her way through her emotions rather than feeling them

Fortunately she has Penny to talk to–and talk she will. It will take a lot of talking before she actually realizes she’s jealous because she likes the farmer. 

This realization is a crisis. It’s a panic. Maru does not know what to do. 

She spends extra time staying up at her telescope (she’s just as nocturnal as her brother) like the stars will have answers 

She will be completely oblivious to the farmer liking her back for the longest time

Relationship

when she gets jealous she tends to try to talk to her partner indirectly? Like she will be talking around the whole thing and her partner will go “i think I’m understanding what you’re saying, and I want to reassure you that you have no reason to be jealous”

And Maru will sit there frozen for a moment while she processes (give a girl a min to buffer) and then they’ll actually talk about the issue. 

🖤 Penny

Penny doesn’t get jealous, Penny gets sad. She withdraws and begins to pull away, insecurity getting the best of her. She gets quiet and fidgets when the farmer asks what’s wrong. Be patient with her and eventually she’ll open up about feeling like the farmer likes someone else. Like Haley, she needs reassurance—wrap your arm around her while she reads, bring her some tea, kiss her temple whenever you pass her—these little actions make her feel cared for and secure. Eventually she’ll be confident enough to bring up her feelings on her own. All she needs is to know she’s wanted. 

[skarletterambles]

On today's episode of "I could reblog that and add my thoughts, but that might invite drama nobody (including me) asked for, so I'll just make a new post over here"...

The OP I decided not to bother said this:

(It has the same energy as "I'm not prejudiced, but...")

"Undeniable," huh? Hold my beer.

If your parents are abusive or toxic, I'm sure that statement is true. You can't heal from trauma that's ongoing any more than you can heal a scubbed knee if you keep dragging it across the sidewalk.

It sucks that anyone has to deal with living in a toxic environment, crappy parents, etc. I sincerely hope things get better soon for everyone in that situation.

But not everyone is in that situation.

I admit my kneejerk reaction was something along the lines of, "You don't know me and my situation so how dare you make assumptions and then judge me based on them." But of course I don't know OP or the commenters, either. I imagine the original was a quick vent post that wasn't meant to be a blanket statement, nor to spread and attract drama. The comments still turned into a shitshow that I didn't want to stir in; thus my own post.

In what shouldn't be news to anyone, everyone is a different person, living in a different situation with different family, with different history and culture, in a different socioeconomic stratum, and with different physical and mental health conditions, and therefore what is wonderful for one person is hell for another and vice versa. Or to shorten it to a meme: your experience is not universal.

Personally, I live with my parents because the choice is literally that or homelessness. Period. I'm fine with it, honestly, and consider myself lucky to have this option.

When I'm not at work or occasionally out with a friend, I want to just be quiet at home, which jives well with two 70-something retirees. I'm aro/ace so there's no awkward romance to work around. I'm an only child so there are no siblings to complicate the situation.

I have a great relationship with my mom. I used to with my dad, as well, but personality changes after his stroke have made it harder. I still love him, though. As they both age and deal with chronic health issues, I'm glad I'm here and able to help. It was the same when my grandmother lived the last twenty-odd years of her life with us, too.

I can only work part-time due to a medically documented disability, so I cannot afford to live on my own. (Hell, a lot of people with multiple jobs or full-time jobs can't afford that these days, either.) No one in my extended family is well off, and we try to help each other whenever possible. Any extra support my parents could give is already tied up keeping another family member from ending up on the street--which I'm glad they can do! We're all in this together. (For the record, I buy all my own stuff plus contribute to the grocery budget for the household, and I pay some of the household bills as well as my personal ones.)

I would absolutely love more alone time, but I wouldn't want to go days at the time without seeing family, either. Ideally I'd like to live next door, or in a detached guest house, so I could choose how much time I spend with my parents and still have a place that was all mine. I'd love to pick how to organize cupboards, how to decorate, etc. I get to do some of that already, but having a place be truly mine would be great. These are not huge issues that keep me awake at night, though.

I interact with a lot of unhoused persons at my job in a public library, and I'm frequently reminded of how much privilege I have. I have a reliable roof over my head with heating/air-conditioning, laundry, a kitchen, hot and cold running water that is safe to drink, a good winter coat, food to eat, etc. I live in an area that has a relatively low crime rate, and is nowhere near a war zone. I do not experience racism, transphobia, or homophobia. I have not been touched by a natural disaster.

Nobody's life is perfect. Some are better than mine. Lots are worse.

What is true for OP isn't true for me. What is true for me isn't true for OP. What is true for either of us isn't true for a hypothetical third person. I'm not trying to slam a gavel down and scream "YOU'RE WRONG!" at OP or those who agree with them. I just had thoughts to unload about the nuances. Which I did.

So now I'll shut up. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[evorcy]

People are being wild and weird, you don’t deserve any hate

People got to be freaks to see a vent post and call it fake ??? Even if there is a CHANCE that it’s fake, there’s still the very real possibility it’s not so why bother to gamble to make someone feeling crappy and try to make them feel worse???

Your art is breathtaking and fantastic and I honestly hope you blow up with popularity because your style is so unique and amazing (you’re genuinely a source of big inspiration for me to form my own unique style and go crazy)

I’d very much prefer to be nice to anyone I meet, and be risk being fooled than always being a flaming asshole going “YoU CaN’t GeT ME!!!”

Sorry for long message, it just honestly ticks me off to see cowards coming at you to be hateful over nothing. I don’t know you as a person but I’m sure you’re really sweet, and I hope you have a good day

Hey, thank you for your support. I honestly didn't understand what was the deal with that guy and why I was an ASUKA HATER... like.... I don't even know her this much... I think that hater just wanted to mock me for having some followers on twitter (x) but honestly, that is a very small amount on the scale of that platform... I already deleted that post because I didnt want to spread negativity, and also that dude kept spamming with a lot of shitty words so I just blocked them. Some people really need to learn how to keep their thoughts for themselves...

[hecateisalesbian]

I’m still alive :/

yeah so uh @bloodied-dagger has a few things wrong about this story (my fault) so I’m gonna clear some stuff up.

After Dagger’s trip to Cali I noticed he was kinda online a little/lot less and I was wondering what was up, but I didn’t wanna so directly upfront say it, so I did send an anon ask saying “why are you so busy?” I should’ve worded it better because it does sound rude but I didn’t mean it like that. So anyway I sent him that and he responded and he was upset and I felt HELLA guilty for that for one, and I kinda forgot he had a 4th of July party that night because I have really crappy memory.

So I saw I was in the tags and I felt really bad but I didn’t want him to be mad at me because im really freaking bad with emotions and people being mad and whatever I have trauma and stuff not the point. I ended up sending another ask saying smth like “why’d u drag me into the tags” (as to sorta lighten the mood) “also I’m sure anon was just asking about cali.” So anyways he responded privately except by that time I was already asleep cuz I was tired from fireworks and night swimming.

So anyways I wake up at like 5 in the morning and read the response and I’m still really groggy so this sends a panic through me when I see he’s really mad and 100% called me out on my bullcrap (deserved) and in classic me fashion I get super freaked and have a panic attack and I deleted the reply cuz If I didn’t I would’ve read it over and over again and yeah. And I tend to do this bad overthinking thing where I assume one bad thing happens between me a friend and they hate me forever and never wanna talk to me again. So I go to my followers/mutuals list and I’m scrolling and I don’t see dagger on there so I’m like “oh crap he hates me he doesn’t even wanna be mutuals anymore”. Yeah. So I unfollowed him cuz I cut myself off from people, especially when they don’t wanna be friends anymore.

The rest of the day I stay away from tumblr and don’t check it until a few hours ago when I decided I’d kinda update my blog on how I wouldn’t be posting and vented a little by going “crap crap crap” etc.

Little context behind this, I actually was planning to update my blog because next week I have this super big thing which will most likely take up most of my day during the week for the next three weeks. But since I thought everyone would hate me I had to be dramatic and make it seem like I was leaving forever. Anyways I come back and I see dagger tagged me and whatever. And hes feeling bad too Ig and so that made me feel even more guilty (and he even remembered I love atsv) so I was like “alright I need to make a post about this.”

And now here we are. So. Yeah. I’m sorry if you hate me now Dagger. I followed you again but if you don’t want me to I understand. I just thought I’d put my input too. I feel really bad and I didn’t know how upset those asks would make you. And I’m sorry to all my mutuals for worrying them. I really hope you don’t see me as a bad person but I understand if you do. Yeah. I’m sorry.

[cornflowerblue10]

VENT POST

Being a middle schooler in the United States is low-key ass and a major reason is because of car centric infrastructure.

In middle school, it's comparable to high school in that there are massively enforced social norms. You are expected to act a certain way, code switch between different groups of people, and more. For people that don't fit the criteria for what's "socially acceptable", that sucks, because either you internally die alone, or you mask and play a persona to fit in with peers.

However, we're still below the legal driving age of 16, so if we ever want to go anywhere (grocery store, restaurants, malls, etc), we have to ask an adult to chauffer us to there like idiots. In theory, it's possible to walk to Walmart, but the roads were designed and built with cars first in mind. That's how you get 5 lane roads that a European could mistake for a mega highway but NO THAT'S HOW 99% OF THE POPULATION GOES TO WORK/SHOP/LITERALLY EVERYTHING!!!

Wonder why kids don't go outside anymore?, well most of the outside was bulldozed for the automobile. It's all parking lots and roads and if you're lucky, a park that can maybe be walked to. If I lived in a place where I walk to the grocery store, restaurants, parks, shops, doctors office, and more in less than 15 minutes - cough, European cities, cough - then I would probably be outside more because there's actually an incentive to go outside!

Fortunately, I don't live in a god awful suburbia where it's nothing but other houses as far as the eye can see, but i still can't get to places easily! I mean, there's a small store that sells junk food, ice cream, and freshly made tortillas right next to my home... and there's a chicken restaurant nearby too... but omg what I would give to have the luxury to be able to comfortably walk/bike/take good public transport to wherever I need to be.

I know, it does sound ridiculous to let a 13 year old go to the park unsupervised, but that's because where we live, that 13 year old would get ran over by a silver SUV whilst trying to get there. In Japan, children go to and from school alone because there's a subway system that they can use. In the Netherlands, everyone, including children, bike to where they need to go - it's said that there's no such thing as a cyclist in the Netherlands. Everyone already had a bike; you're not special over there compared to in Idaho! Literally take 5 minutes out of your day to search online and you see again and again that outside the United States, children go to many places unsupervised by their parents because instead of the outside looking like this:

It looks like this:

I remember hearing the phrase, "too old for toys, too young for boys" being used to describe why being a 13 year girl is difficult. That phrase definitely won't apply to everyone, but the overall sentiment is just so true. We are expect to act like adults - get work done on time, be polite, do as you're told, fit in, act normal, be mature - however, we are also expected to act our age - sit down, be quiet, dont talk about that, you can do it when youre older, you're grounded, etc. We are too young to drive, and we can't walk/bike to where we want to go because we'll most likely get ran over. There's also most likely zero/very crappy public transit.

In conclusion, being an American middle schooler sucks because you can't go anywhere without your parents driving you there, yet you still have to act grown and mature. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[absurdthirst]

Hi Keri,

I hope all is well and you’re having a good day/night ♥️

I just have a bit of a rant & I want to get off my chest. (You don’t have to post or respond if you don’t want to)

So I have been applying for this entry level city position (I qualify for a higher position but I don’t have much experience in this specific field so I don’t really wanna push it) for the past 6 months and 2 months ago they reviewed and accepted my application and verified me for an interview. No interview date or anything, just on a waitlist for an availability.

Fast forward to this past weekend, my sister and her gf work for the city and told me about this hiring event/job fair and for me to go. (They work in a different department than the one I want to get into) The next day I get an email inviting me to be interviewed at this event and I’m like ok & excited. This position is a little bit of a pay cut from my current job but I’d get more hours with the city so I can’t complain.

I show up to the event at about 11:30am because it’s from 10:00am-2:00pm and I was invited by the city. What I wasn’t aware was that they’d have computers available for people to apply for the jobs available, get verified, and be interviewed all in one day. When I tell you it was packed, it was packed. I waited nearly 5 hours to be interviewed for this position I’ve been trying to get for the past 6 months with people who literally just applied and got approved all in one day. The interview? Only 4 questions. 4.

All of the departments were so overwhelmed and underprepared for the amount of people that showed up. Some people they invited (like me) and others came because they saw some of the advertisements of it. They are still going to be holding more interviews tomorrow, 9-5.

My big problem is that why weren’t the people like me, who already gone through a majority of the process and were verified to interview months ago, were not interviewed before the event and instead were jumbled up with the mess that was today. I even had to call out of work just to be interviewed because I really want this job. I know there will be more opportunities, but it literally took me 6 months to even get an interview and it was only 4 questions and I had to wait 5 hours for it because of the amount of people who showed up. (There were many other departments also interviewing/hiring so it wasn’t just the one I wanted)

Ok, rant over & thank you allowing me to vent ♥️

Yeah I have to say that it’s not a good business practice in my opinion. That’s really crappy. I don’t blame you for being upset. I would be too.

[a-regular-ol-pill]

Hello people! I am so sorry for not posting for a whole entire month. I wanted to bring some good news, but I came empty handed and won't be doing that anytime soon. This is also a call out for the person that had the audacity to PM me in game and told me I was just making excuses to finish writing the mountain of requests I have, when in fact, it's more serious than that. By the way, fuck you for acting and speaking to me like living is not an option for me in my life. For telling me I should post when it's my blog that I created.

My problems (starting from my flesh being ripped out and the ones that followed after that I would feel like shit to share with y'all) has been switching from bottle to bottle— bottles full of even more problems and I feel like I might choke on my own if I don't address this one on tumblr. I feel like I'm going delusional with my messy memory and I'm so fucking sorry.

I would love to be delighted to accept new requests. But I'm not, I am pretty inspiration depleted and is currently pondering on whether or not I should also answer the asks that followed from my head (flesh?) injury. I've pretty much sunken to my lowest in the Pill bottle and I'm overthinking a lot of shit. I burried myself in MLBB; feeling like I've ran through hippo shit and mud. Took a shower with the dirty clothes and wrapped myself in trash bags to sleep in the horrible stench.

I am very flattered with the sweet words some of you have said with the request, and I'm eternally grateful that you took the time to actually compliment something like me, but I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna come up as passive aggressive next, but I just want to vent on how fucking dumb I am and I vented in a way where I can finally update my blog. I once didn't, and still don't have anyone to talk to. Open my heart out and just be a human, this results in my crappy conversation skill with my problems and everything about this post. I know, shitty grammar. You'll keep seeing them.

The following screenshots I'll list will not be made, and I am extremely sorry for not being able to do it. If you didn't mean the ask as a request, please PM me! As I am so sorry for misunderstanding your ask. I don't want to remind people to check the request status as my description is already there before you could click the ask. I have a reason it's open and I would hate to close it for the sake of the people who just wants to talk to someone but currently have no one to talk to— Like me.

; This is the next day, I don't know how, but my previous texts have been deleted and so was my statement about not posting requests when it's closed. So the text above this is just a rewrite and I fucking hate it because it was a long rant that could give more context to this post. Could I have rewrote about 300 words in the next day I wrote them? No. — That paragraph deleting is like Tumblr giving me the fuck you and never post again. ;

[glowingbadger]

Okay folks, get ready for a Modern Au Fluffy Megapost~

Firstly, Sylvain and Dimitri have gotten a fluff post already that you can see here if you like! I'll think about whether I have anything to add that would be relevant to a Modern AU for them, but their sections are gonna be shorter as a result.

Yuri, Felix, Ashe x GN Reader

Fluffy relationship headcanons - SFW

Yuri:

- At first, it's not really in Yuri's base nature to be soft and gentle towards a lover. "Delicate" in the cunning, teasing sense, perhaps- but vulnerable and kind? Less so. Which is why it's a bizarre feeling for him when he finds himself wanting to be softer to you- wanting to comfort you and hold you and protect you. He doesn't really know what to do with this new-found tenderness at first, but it will start to manifest in how he treats you despite himself. His tone is completely different with you, he smiles to himself whenever he checks his phone to see you've messaged him, he starts saving songs you mention to listen to later- he simply can't help it.

- He won't let on that he's got quite a lovely singing voice for some time (he intentionally doesn't audition for musicals)- but one night, as your head rests on his lap as he reviews a script for the next play on campus that he's performing in, he starts quietly humming to himself. He stops as soon as he realizes you've noticed, but you carefully say, "I'm... pretty sure I recognize that song- how does the rest go?" He indulges you, humming the rest, even peppering in some of the lyrics. But by the end, he smiles with a quirked eyebrow and pokes your cheek playfully, "Don't think you fooled me with that line earlier- you couldn't repeat a single note of that song, you were just goading me into singing it."

- After this though, he does treat you to a song or two whenever you're upset or not feeling well. He knows that, with all of the complex and duplicitous relationships he's left behind him, it's a relief to finally have something he can give you that he's never willingly given to a partner before. So when you're sick or stressed or dealing with a mental health issue, he'll stroke your hair and sing softly to you, the quiet smile you wear tugging sweetly at his heart.

Dimitri:

(most of my thoughts are in the link above)

- Dimitri loves doing boyfriend tasks for you, like carrying heavy things (really any things) for you, reaching the top shelf, opening jars (he has broken one or two), and so on. He's the type to make sure to hold the umbrella over you even if it means he gets rained on.

- He's a clumsy texter, and his messages to you are always full of type-o's and ridiculous auto-corrects. He also has every voicemail you've ever left him saved on his phone and will listen to them when he hasn't seen you for a while.

Sylvain:

(once again, he's in the link up there)

- He sends you stupid memes of animals with "this is us" typed below. Most of his signs of affection are dumb and cute but goofy like that, and getting him to actually level with you and express his genuine love and care for you can be pretty rare.

- Sylvain secretly likes romcoms, like, a lot. He tries to brush it off, saying, "Oh you know, I've just seen a lot of them on dates." but his encyclopedic knowledge of their plots and cast suggest otherwise. Once he fesses up to you though, he refuses to meet your gaze and mutters, "it's just.. nice sometimes to think that a relationship can actually be like that, y'know?"

Felix:

- He's so bad at being soft, but he wants to be for you, but also doesn't want to be because ew feelings. Which he has a lot of. This is why the main way he expresses his affection is through physical contact. It's mostly in private, where he can be super cuddly with you- but in public, he'll still find times to lightly brush his hand against yours, or an excuse to "fix" your hair, mumbling, "It's flying all over the place, hold still-" even though it's really not that out of place, he just wants a reason to touch you.

- Felix is a funny one to bring your problems to. He's actually a surprisingly good listener for someone he cares about, so he's happy to just hold onto your hand and listen to you vent about whatever's bothering you. If it's an interpersonal problem, he'll probably offer to confront or straight up fight whoever is giving you trouble, which might at least get you to laugh, even though he fully means it. But for a more serious problem, he'll quietly wipe away your tears and remind you, "Hey, listen- you just... keep living your life as you, okay? You can't be anyone else, and I don't want you to be."

- He secretly loves it when you play with his hair. While he's studying or gaming, he likes to lean back against the edge of his bed or a couch and have you sitting behind him brushing out his hair, or even braiding or pulling it up for him if you like. He finds your touch incredibly soothing, and there have even been times when he's spaced out a bit and completely forgotten what he was doing because he was just enjoying your nails along his scalp and your fingers through his hair. Honestly, it's a bit like scratching a cat's ears- he'll even subconsciously lean against you if he's not careful.

Ashe:

- 'soft' is Ashe's default state in a relationship, and it is just the cutest. He wears his affections openly on his sleeve, and if you're upset or unwell, his concern is completely obvious. When you're sick, he'll immediately start looking up your symptoms and any possible solutions, and he's always got extra pillows and blankets to lend you. He knows your favorite snacks and movies by heart, and always has them on hand for off-days.

- He loves cooking for you, and cooking with you, if you're into it. There's something so intimate and domestic about making and enjoying meals together, and he has an uncanny way of making the best of even a crappy little college dorm/apartment kitchenette. Though, you're going to have to set some strict boundaries with your friends about date nights, because if you let them, your friends and his will swarm to his cooking and mooch off of the fruits of your labor- and we all know Ashe is too nice to say no.

- Ashe absolutely wants to own a pet with you. Perhaps even before moving in together, he'll help you select a small, low maintenance pet, and he'll always be delighted to come visit it and help you take care of it. If you're living together, he definitely wants a cat or a small dog, and he's a total pet-dad about it. He'll give them cute little bandanas to wear, experiment with which brand of food they seem to like best and so on. He gets a bit shy if you tease him about his doting, but ultimately, he'll just kiss your cheek or forehead and say, "I just want to take care of you both as best I can, that's all."

[blue-writes-things]

Scruffy

Sirius Black x Reader | Fluff

“Your hair is as scruffy as it used to be.”

| Masterlist | Words: 1865 A/N: What’s this? what’s this? a fic is being posted! Blue moon archives (Edited) Warnings: Mentions of abuse / Crappy parents

Feedback is always appreciated! - Blue

-------------------------------------------------------------

You were sitting against a large tree at the edge of the black lake, It was a bit after midnight and your only light was from your wand. You held your want in one hand, while you had a book in the other.

Reading was the only thing keeping you sane, you lived in a not so great ‘home’ with the pureblood mania etc. You read to distract yourself from the world around you. The only time you couldn’t be lost in a book, in your own little world. Was at the party's your family had for the insane purebloods, so instead, you would just daydream, or sneak a book in any way.

Too lost in your own world you didn’t notice a rustle in the bushes until it turned into a growl. Emerging from the darkness was a large wolf? Or a dog? you couldn’t tell. What you could tell though was it looked angry. Being the sad teen you were, you didn’t care. Turning your head to the animal. “If you’re going to kill me, can you wait a sec’ while I finish this line? Thank you!” You ask as if the dog could understand you.

You expected it to keep coming to you and attack you, but it did stop, but it was clearly still angry and aggressive.

“Thanks bud?” You give a confused smile to it. You get an idea to see if you could get the canine to just go away.

You pick up a stick near you and throw it as far into the forest as you could, instantly the dog ran after it. You chuckle and shaking your head you turn back to your book.

After a few moments, the dog came back, dropping the stick in front of you, it’s tail wagging, it was like it was a new animal.

“Want me to throw it again?” You pick up the stick, the dog bending forward bouncing side to side, very excited. You throw it again, and again he comes back, dropping the stick.

Tilting your head to the side, he copies your action making you smile, slowly reaching your hand out to him, he lets out a low rumbling noise.

“Mate, I’m not going to hurt you.” 

He leans forward sniffing your hand

“There you go.” You smile, turning back to your book. You felt a wet stroke go up your cheek.

“You did not just lick me!” You squeak wiping your cheek, the dog looks at you as if teasing you, testing you “Don’t you dare.” You warn with raised eyebrows, but it was too late.

The dog jumps on you making you fall over with an ‘oof’ knocking the air out of you as he licks all over your face.

“Ok, ok, ok! You win!” The dog looks happy with himself. Pushing him off you, you sit up slightly, leaning on your hands to look at the sky.

“You're a pretty cool pupper.” He turns to you and wags his tail.

“Your eyes remind me of someone in my classes. His name is Sirius, you have his scruffy hair too, you know, he always looks so…” You trail off sighing, looking far off into the sky. The dog comes over to you and lays on your lap as if saying to keep going.

“He always looks so...happy, even when we were kids he looked like that, despite his family” The animal on your lap stiffens “We were friends when we were little, I saw how his family treated him...They probably still treat him that way. But then when we got to Hogwarts, he just forgot about me, I’d be surprised if he still knows my name.”

Opening your eyes you see the sun was just breaching the horizon “Crap!” You rush and grab your things “Sorry bud, I gotta go, bye!”

You run-up to the castle, Sirius watching you from the tree.

***

After a long day of classes, studying, and a letter from your mother, you were back down at the lake. The dog was there, for awhile now you two had basically made a routine of sitting by the lake as you vent or just talk about random meaningless nonsense, it didn’t need to make sense, he’s a dog and probably can only tell what you're saying by your tone, or you putting random things the dog does as signs he’s listening to you.

“Hey bud.” You smile scratching behind his ear, he comes over and lays on your lap. “Wanna hear about my day?” You tilt your head, and his tail starts wagging.

“I got a letter from my mother…”

Sitting in the great hall for breakfast, the owls came swooping in and out, dropping letters to students, your family owl came down and landed on the table next to you.

Y/n,

We got a letter saying you got in trouble yesterday for disrespecting the teachers, I’m not surprised but we were hoping you’d at least have enough self-respect to know when to keep your mouth shut, guess we were wrong.

And you’re failing DADA? You’re awfully good at receiving spells, and curses but can’t defend yourself, typical.

I hope you know that coming this holiday break you’ll be making up for these pathetic acts of disobedience.

- Mother

You sigh, the dog looking up at you.

“I shouldn’t be surprised at this point, I already know how I’m going to ‘make up for it’ and it involves a particular curse, pain, and lots of humiliation. But I’m used to that by now.” 

The dog nuzzles your hand, encouraging you to pet him, as you do. It always helps to calm you down. 

“One time, my father put his wand to my head and said ‘if you kiss that boy, I’ll throw you out’ ”

Sirius was chasing you around his house, the two of you laughing, it was Christmas, you would be going back to Hogwarts in a few weeks.

He caught up to you tackling you onto the floor, you wrestled for a bit before the two of you just lay on the floor in the hallway.

“I can’t wait to leave,” He said, turning his head to you once you’d both calmed down.

“Me too Scruffy.” You turn your head as well

“Stop calling me scruffy!" He smiles, holding your hand

You laugh “But it suits you! You can’t tell me your hair isn’t scruffy.”

“No it’s not!”

“Is too!”

“Is not!”

“Whatever you say scruffy.” You mess up his hair a bit, before calmly running your hand through it, Sirius giving a content sigh.

Little did the two of you know, your father was standing at the end of the hallway.

“Y/N! It’s time to leave.” 

“Coming! see you later scruffy.” You get up, catching up to your father.

“We got back to my house, I was getting an ear full right as we walk in…”

“It’s not that big of a deal! It’s not like we kissed!” You stood up for yourself, a rare thing for you to do, but you hated it when they had a go at you about your friendship with Sirius.

“And be lucky you didn’t!” You mother added in

“What would you do if I did! I’m already used to all the things you do!”

Faster than the snap of a finger your father was right in front of you. You had never felt so small. He put his wand to your temple, that’s when your eyes wide.

“If you kiss that boy, I will throw you out that door. I won’t hesitate.” He had such a serious face, you knew he would do it. You could see out of the corner of your eyes that even your mother was shocked.

You fall back against the tree, your head hitting it with a light ‘thump’ the dog got up and curled up on your lap. “My father didn’t let me see him again. You know, I never told Sirius that. I didn’t tell him the majority of what they did to me. He was dealing with enough as it is so I didn’t want to add my issues to that. I think I’ve only told him one thing about them, and it wasn’t about anything serious.”

At this point you had tears falling gently down your cheeks, which the dog licked off your cheek, making you chuckle

“That’s the only time I’ll let you do that bud.” You smile kissing the top of his head, the dog seemed to be smiling at you. 

“For a while after that, I wanted to kiss Sirius. To get back at my father...But if I’m honest...I’ve always wanted to kiss him.”

The dog’s ears prick up, his grey eyes looked as though he was thinking. He jumped off your lap and grabbed the nearest stick, basically throwing it at you. “Ow,” You muttered.

You grabbed the stick from your lap and tossed it as far as you could, the dog going after it straight away. You sit back to the tree closing your eyes with a sigh waiting for the dog to come back. You heard something approaching, thinking it's the dog. But before you opened your eyes.

You felt a soft press to your cheek. You snap open your eyes flinching away, looking over to the person kneeling next to you, hands behind their back.

“Sirius?”

“The one and only.” He winked.

“Why are you out here? No one comes down here.”

“Let’s just say, a little dog told me someone needed some help.” He smiled pulling the stick from behind him and waving it slightly from side to side.

You look at it for a moment, your eyebrows frowning as you put the pieces together.

“You’re that dog? But..what?...how?...this is so weird Sirius.”

“I’ll admit it’s a tad weird” He sits next to you properly “But y/n I just had to come out and say this. I haven't forgotten about you, far from it actually, I was just too nervous to talk to you again.”

“Too nervous? The famous Sirius Black nervous to talk to someone, are you sick? Do I need to take you to Madam Pomfrey?” The two of you laughed.

“Nah, it was just, after that Christmas when you stopped talking to me, I thought I did something to make you hate me.” He looked away from you.

With a mischievous smirk, you use two fingers to bring his face back to look at you “You know scruffy, I think it’s time for a little payback.”

“Wha- ” He starts but you cut him off when you kiss his cheek, making his them heat up.

You pull back to look at him properly, but he quickly pulls you to him, kissing you on the lips. You run your fingers through his soft hair. When you finally pull apart (stupid lungs needing air) but you keep your foreheads pressed together.

“Your hair is just as scruffy as it used to be.”

“My hair is not scruffy!” He fake pouts and you both laugh, leaning into another kiss.

[shinysobi]

i came in from the outside, burnt out from the joyride

this was born out of a conversation with @akinosakiya, so all credits go to her >.<

chapter i | chapter 2 (coming soon)

Han Joon Hwi and Kang Sol, years after graduation. post-canon fix it, idiots to lovers.

ao3

a/n : i got this idea as i feverishly dm'd my friend about a solhwi prompt,,, i took it too far i think >.<

please tell me if you like it!!

a/n: title taken from Hozier's Almost (sweet music) which i recommend while reading this.

chapter 1: you and i are lovers in the dark

There has got to be another way of doing this. I can’t be doing this all my life.

“You know,” the words from Yeseul makes her look up, “you didn’t have to do this to yourself. You could have not taken the case, eonni. I told you not to take the case.”

Sol doesn’t say anything, just hangs her head in shame. The soju burns as she tips her head back, draining the last dregs of it, “I knew I shouldn’t have asked you for help. You’re being insufferable now that you’re dating Bok-gi.”

Yeseul laughs, reaching for the soda can, “eonni, I think you’re thinking about it too much.”

“I am, aren’t I?” she looks at the other girl, clearly panicked, “does it show? Oh, it shows, doesn’t it? Oh, what am I going to do—”

“Ah, noona, you shouldn’t have taken this case on, then,” Bok-gi says as he enters the room and take in the sight of a dishevelled Sol and a grinning Yeseul, “oh, Yeseul noona, I was looking all over for you!”

Sol scowls, “haven’t the two of you been dating forever? Why do you still have the honorific? And for your information, I took the case before I knew it was going to be him that I would have to go up against.”

Bok-gi looks affronted, and Yeseul comes to her boyfriend’s rescue, “ah, I like it, eonni.”

“Of course, you like it, you’re just as gone for him as he is,” she grumbles, “so, Bok-gi, Yeseul’s been telling you everything now, has she?”

“Ah, eonni, leave him out of it,” Yeseul soothes her, rubbing circles into her back, “do you want me to take the case? Instead of you—”

“The client won’t agree on it,” Sol whines, “and just when I thought I had got rid of him.”

“Rid of who?” so Bok-gi doesn’t know, Sol notes with some amount of pleasure, good. At least Yeseul didn’t tell him about the fact that—

“Oh, eonni might have to work with Joon-hwi oppa,” Yeseul chirps, looking entirely too pleased for Sol’s liking, “she’s the public defender for Joon-hwi oppa’s case.”

“The attempted murder one?” Bok-gi sounds as perplexed as Sol is, “but I thought hyung only dealt with financial cases, what happened? Didn’t you say you had some other prosecutor to deal with, noona?”

Sol groans, “apparently he’s taking criminal cases too, and the first one he chose to take was mine,” she stands up, “can’t I ever get rid of him?”

Yeseul blinks, “why did you have to get rid of him in the first place?”

Sol groans, sitting down on the chair with a thump. This was becoming a frighteningly regular occurrence, groaning at the mere mention of his name, “I told you, you wouldn’t understand.”

“You sound like a sixteen-year-old right now, noona,” Bok-gi giggles, and she scowls at him. How dare they find happiness in my misery. Just because she loved them didn’t mean she would put up with everything that they did.

Liar. You’ll always put up with whatever they do.

Wait, why did that sound like him? Did he finally manage to get inside her head?

No. no, calm down, Kang Sol. Joon-Hwi is not inside your brain. Your brain is filled with statutes of law, precedents, your grocery list, the things you need to buy Byeol for her birthday—

You have too many things on your mind.

Ah, fuck.

She stands up again, taking a look at Bok-gi and Yeseul’s surprised faces, and sits back down, “never mind. It’s just him. how bad could it be? We just lost touch over the years, and I specifically made sure to not keep in touch with him after we graduated—I’m going to die, Yeseul-ah.”

“No, eonni, you won’t,” Yeseul props her up gently, pushing the bowl of bibimbap towards her, “at least eat something before you cry.”

“No, you’re right,” Bok-gi agrees, although Sol knows he’s laughing at her internally, the little shit, “it’s wrong to cry and not eat. I’ll be dehydrated.”

The food tastes bland in her mouth, although she knows she’s made it spicy, but Sol works her way through it with tears in her eyes (she passes it off as due to the spice) and promptly starts sobbing again, lamenting her crappy life.

“Eonni, the trial isn’t until next month, you have enough time to prepare,” Yeseul tries to placate her, but it only increases the volume of her groans.  A whole month spent dreading the presence of Han Joon-Hwi as she prepared for the trial. “You’ll win it, right?”

There. That was what had been bugging her. The fact that he hadn’t lost a single case since he’d become prosecutor. It isn’t like she hadn’t expected this from him, coming first in her class, but—

“Is this even fair?” she wails, “the attempted murder case doesn’t even have to have him as the prosecutor, it is going to be easy for me to win, the client was framed, and there is no evidence—”

“Noona,” Bok-gi peers at her, his eyes going wide, “you’re scared, aren’t you?”

“Ah, it isn’t like that!” she tries to defend herself. But Yeseul just stares, “fine. You caught me. I’m scared of losing to him, he hasn’t even lost a single case since he made prosecutor, he’s on his way to becoming head prosecutor in less than a decade, and I’m—I’m barely surviving as it is, so why did Attorney Geun-Tae give this case to me?”

Both Bok-gi and Yeseul look shocked, and Sol isn’t surprised. They should be. She was the one who cut off contact with Joon-Hwi after graduation, claiming he didn’t need her to weigh him down, and she was the person who did everything without a single glance backwards, so why was she being so defensive? “It’s not like I don’t want to whine all the fucking time, it’s just that—”

“Whoa, noona swears a lot when it comes to Joon-Hwi hyung, who knew.” Bok-gi says, clapping a hand over his mouth, “have you always been this way, or did this just happen after you found out that you were going up against him?”

Sol scowls, “you’ve been trying to act cute, don’t try that with me, Min Bok-gi.”

Yeseul nods at Bok-gi. Sol scowls again. Traitor.

--

The truth is, she should have known this was coming. Their field doesn’t leave much for anonymity, and even if it did, why did she think it would be so easy to avoid Joon-Hwi? The boy—sorry, man, she supposes she should give him at least that much, they were both in their thirties now—the man was everywhere, the newest rising star in the prosecution. Even her boss, the clueless Park Geun-Tae knew about it, and had requested her to work in a case against him. her, the person who barely passed her law school course at Hankuk. Who has a sister far smarter than her, better than her at all aspects, who really isn’t cut out to be in this profession, something which she’s heard all too often from everyone, and all she wants to do is yell I know, I know, she knows it all.

Which is why, when Han Joon-Hwi approached her after the graduation ceremony, a determined look on his face, she dreaded the words that would come out of his mouth, and instead chose to flee. In retrospect, it wasn’t the best decision, but Kang Sol A isn’t known for making the best decisions.

She still lives with her mother and Byeol in that same house, where Joon had once installed a CCTV camera, which Lee Man-Ho had broken with a well-aimed rock, but the camera is still there, and while Byeol is in middle school now, a big girl, who doesn’t like Sol picking her up from school every day and who is already getting into trouble with that big mouth of hers, and certainly doesn’t need protecting, the camera is still there, and every once in a while, she likes to take a look at it, sipping beer after a long day at work. It’s obviously dysfunctional, but she likes to imagine that Joon-Hwi still takes a look at the camera feed, doing whatever “top secret” things he did.

She sighs, opening the door to their home. I have work to do if I need to beat Joon-Hwi.

--

“Why was I assigned to this case?” Joon-Hwi asks, surprise evident on his face, “I usually take financial dispute cases, this is an attempted murder, and the evidence doesn’t even look solid. Why am I being given this?”

He’s speaking to the wall in his office, and his paralegals are out on break, but he feels as though he should at least vent about this to something, if not someone. He’s supposed to be a star prosecutor, someone who hasn’t lost a single case since they stepped foot into the District Prosecutor’s office. And it’s true, he hasn’t lost a single case since he began working here, spurred on by a desire to both step out from under his uncle’s shadow and to prove himself.

The cases he has handled until now, have all been financial, catching the people who use money to get their way in the world, much like Ko Hyeong-Su, people so entitled to the world that they didn’t consider the rest of them as human beings. He liked bring them down to their level. Hell, he loved it.

But his specialty is not criminal law, and that too, a case that would be difficult for him to win, given that there was very little evidence and whatever he had, would never fly in a court of law. He’s kind of pissed at Prosecutor Lee for giving him the case. No, scratch that, he is pissed at Lee for giving him the case.

Defending lawyer—

Defending lawyer, Kang Sol.

Could it be?

He turns to his computer, and contemplates for a second if he should ask the police officer about the defending counsel, but decides against it. I don’t want to seem like a fool. Which—is correct. He is a fool.

So, he calls up the person who had the case before him, Prosecutor Shin, and tries not to hide the excitement in his words when he asks, “did you meet the defence counsel when you arrested the defendant, Prosecutor?”

“She didn’t have one,” the prosecutor replies, voice scratchy, and he wonders of he did the right thing by disturbing someone who was in the hospital, “we’ve indicted her, but the defence counsel was changed at the last moment, something about the public defender dropping the case. Her new counsel is some young lawyer, although she has a lot of experience.”

A lot of experience. “A lot of experience?”

“Yes,” the voice on the other side cracks, and there’s some commotion in the background, “I remember meeting her in the courthouse once. People call her crazy, the lengths she goes to defend her clients are insane. She’s a good egg though, doesn’t take on cases that she doesn’t like.”

“Hmm, thank you, Prosecutor,” he mumbles, hanging up the phone. So that’s what you’ve been doing all this time, Kang Sol. how long has it been, four-five years? And we’ve never met once, impressive.

He’s suddenly very excited for the initial hearing, even if he knows its going to be nearly impossible to win. But at least he can see her for the first time in years, even if its on the opposite side in a court of law. At least he has that.

—

“You’re being stupid,” Jiho says without much in the way of context, but Joon knows what he’s talking about, “you had to take a case just to meet her? A case you are most likely going to lose? What kind of person does that?”

Joon-Hwi rolls his eyes. Jiho was a good man, but sometimes, he really didn’t know the reason behind things. Or to be more specific, why Joon-Hwi did some things. Still, it was understandable as to why he would behave like this. Neither of them has had any connections with each other over the past five years, missing each other by mere moments at times, and yet, he’s still enamoured by her memory, of the way she used to look at her law books and the way she used to stick her highlighters in her hair, her triumphant smile after she answered something correctly; he remembers everything, and he gets nostalgic sometimes, but such is human nature, one supposes.

“It’s been five years, hyung,” Jiho mutters, pushing the bowl of soup towards him, “isn’t it time you gave up on Sol noona?”

He raises an eyebrow, “I didn’t think you addressed anyone as noona.”

Jiho shrugs, “she’s older than me, so it’s only right. And I did work with her on a case about three—two years ago, and she’s really become good. Or is it all the experience that she has had now, working as a partner at Attorney Park Geun-Tae’s firm, which is unheard of, at her age, but she’s far more competent than him—”

He’s talking, but Joon-Hwi doesn’t register anything anymore, “you’ve worked with her? Together?”

“Hmm?” Jiho mumbles, thrown off his track, “yes, I literally just said that I did, what are you thinking about?”

“No. no, back up a little,” he insists, and Jiho’s confused expression clears when he realises what exactly is Joon-Hwi implying.

“Really? You’re jealous over the fact that I worked with Sol noona? That’s how petty you’ve become now, hyung?” Jiho rolls his eyes, and Joon has the incessant need to just—bury his face in his hands, “you could just give her a call, you know.”

He glares. Jiho nods, “guess not,” and resumes eating. He takes another look at the case file, and sets it down, proceeding to shove food into his mouth. The Japanese restaurant has good food, he does agree, but nothing beats eating too-hot ramyeon at three in the morning with your best friend after you’ve finished reviewing three lectures’ worth of notes together. Crap. He still remembers her as his best friend, even though they haven't had any contact over the past years now. Pathetic.

But self-deprecation isn’t his forte, and he shakes his head at Jiho, who’s determinedly eating, “how’s Sol B doing? Isn’t she going to be a judge?”

“She’s still practicing,” Jiho replies, “her mother wants her to be a judge, although I don’t think Sol wants to do it. She’s happy being a legal scholar. Wants to become a professor at Hankuk later on, if the constitutional law position opens up.” His face has a curiously fond look when he’s talking about her, Joon notices, or perhaps it’s a trick of the light, because Jiho straightens up, “who gave you the case, though?”

“My superior sent it to me because the prosecutor in charge had fallen ill, and had to be taken to the hospital,” Joon-Hwi replies, “it isn’t east for me to win this one, even though—”

“Even though you’ve never lost a single case?” Bok-Gi’s voice almost makes the two of them jump, and Jiho sends a well-aimed smack his way, “so you’re taking noona’s case, are you, hyung?”

Jiho snorts, “he’s losing sleep here.”

“When did I say I was losing sleep?” Joon-Hwi begins to say indignantly, but Bok-gi is still grinning as he slides in beside Jiho, “who told you that, Seo Jiho?”

Jiho doesn’t say anything, so Bok-Gi fills in for him, “hyung, you look terrible. Haven’t you been eating properly?”

Joon-Hwi squints at the other boy, how did he know I haven’t been sleeping well? Does it show on my face? Is it that bad?

“It is that bad, hyung,” Jiho pipes up, “you look like death warmed over.”

“It isn’t that bad, honestly,” Bok-gi says, and promptly shuts up under Jiho’s glare, “jeez, all right, all right, he looks bad. Very bad. Bad with a capital B.”

Joon-Hwi groans. He was supposed to have been handling another financial scam by this time, but he’s now talking to two of his classmates, preparing for a case that he was sure of losing, just to see the girl of his dreams.

Pathetic.

--

It had been two weeks since she had found out that Han Joon-Hwi was going to be the prosecutor for her newly-assigned case, and Sol already felt like she was going to drown amidst a sea of precedents, case studies, and more cases that she needed to read just once, in order to keep her client from getting a guilty verdict. She would have to work harder if she needed to beat him, and had even contemplated asking Professor Yang for help, not that the man would do anything to make her life any easier.

Instead, she settles for the next best thing, calls over Sol B and Yeseul for help, and while Sol B grumbles, Yeseul agrees enthusiastically, even offering to bring over Bok-gi for an extra pair of eyes. Not one to be outdone in anything, Sol B offered to bring over Jiho, who grumbled more than Sol B (if that was possible), but agreed to come along nevertheless, and they all sat in her tiny living room, looking as though they had lived there all their lives, and had helped her with the case, although the boys were more interested in devising ways to make Joon-Hwi lose, as Jiho put it, “noona is our best bet, and he owes me food if he loses.” No one could argue with that, honestly.

Except she feels like drowning, and the trial was only two weeks away.

Stupid Joon-Hwi. Why did he have to take my case? Why couldn’t he just remain in civil law? Why did he have to do this? Why, why, why?

She knew that she was being irrational. He didn’t have much control over the cases he was assigned to, and given the fact that the prosecutor in charge had been admitted to the hospital, she doesn’t think he had any sort of control over what cases he would be assigned to. Still.

You’re being irrational now, a voice that sounds surprisingly like Professor Yang’s pipes up in her mind, you’re being distracted right now, Kang Sol. You won’t win if you’re distracted.

Right. She turns back to her papers, trying her best to push the thoughts out of her mind.

I can’t be distracted.

—

He was distracted.

It wasn’t his fault, perhaps, but Joon-Hwi feels guilty nevertheless, especially as he stares at his two paralegals who are stuck alongside him, working into the night.

He’s been staring at the same picture for the past thirty minutes. In his mind, it qualifies as work, but what sort, he isn’t sure. It’s a picture from their graduation day, the seven of them (Seung-Jae hyung was behind the camera) and Professors Kim and Yang, Yangcrates even had a rare smile, something which he hadn’t ever imagined witnessing, at least not sober. Him with his arm around Jiho, who clearly didn’t want to be dragged into a conversation then, his attention focused on someone else. Sol B, staring straight into the camera, grinning ear to ear. Bok-gi and Ye-beom, the latter gesticulating wildly and Bok-gi just laughing at him, Yeseul with her head thrown back in laughter, and Sol—Sol was radiant, (he laughs at that, radiant, the Greek meaning fitting her like a glove, Sol, the Sun) the way she smiled at the camera, her hand held up in a peace sign. It was an imperfect picture, and he has the final, proper version hung on his living room wall, but it’s the warmest picture he has ever been in.

The trial is the next day, and he should be getting some sleep, but he finds himself staying awake even after his two paralegals have gone home, apologising profusely for leaving him alone, and then he takes out his phone, which has been blowing up with messages from Bok-gi and Jiho, asking to come out with them for dinner. He knows it’s a bad idea, that they would try and get him drunk, or worse, that he would voluntarily get drunk, and showing up hungover at the courthouse isn’t a great idea.

Except… he really wants to do so. It’s like he’s back in university again, trying to find ways to rile Kang Sol up, teasing her, to revel in the way she would get angry with him for cutting short her study times, even though she should have been in bed three hours prior. She would always look at him with that strange sort of expression in her eyes, Joon-Hwi remembers, as if she couldn’t decide whether to hit him or to just kiss him and shut him up.

His phone pings, and it’s a text from Jiho, telling him that hyung, do you want to come out for dinner? Sol’s buying.

He really shouldn’t. even if it had taken him a moment to know which Kang Sol Jiho had been talking about and even then, he couldn’t stop his heart from skipping a beat at the mention of her name, he shouldn’t.

Oi, Han Joon-Hwi, aren’t you a little too old and a little too responsible to be drinking before the day of an important trial?

The voice in his head sounds suspiciously like Sol, not Sol B—Sol A, although he doesn’t know how anyone could confuse themselves between the two—they were as different as light and day, and the one on his mind was not the one who was offering to buy him drinks and dinner. He sighs, texting Jiho a quick apology before he heads out of the office. He needs to be alone tonight, trying to get his thoughts in order before he faced Kang Sol in the courthouse the next day.

Even though he’s sure to lose, he just might win.

--

[yrpreciousmoon]

Morioh Hi-Fi (4/25)

Title: Morioh Hi-Fi (4/25) All Chapters Here Fandom: Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Pairing: Josuke x Okuyasu; Rohan x Reimi; Koichi x Yukako; more. Rating: T for now Description: In an AU where Part 4 never happened, it seems  Stand users are still  drawn to each other.  Rohan Kishibe runs Morioh’s coolest record store,  along with the  world’s okayest employees: Koichi, Yuya, and Okuyasu.  They live happily  in their bubble of obscure music references and  hipster style points  until the fateful day when Josuke Higashikata  enters the picture. AN:  This is a short chapter so... let me know if you'd like me to post the next one sooner than next week!

[x-posted to AO3]

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Track 03 : The Music or the Misery    

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Koichi stretched a hand toward the ceiling and waved frantically. Rohan had just entered the bar, all dark eyes and moody scowl, and Koichi hoped to minimize any chance of some drunk hooligan bumping into or looking at him wrong.

Beside him Yukako sighed, loud and with purpose, bringing the straw in her drink to her lips with dainty fingers. Koichi grimaced; he knew she hated when Rohan crashed their hangouts, but Josuke was already third-wheeling tonight so how much worse would one more be? With any luck the two add-ons would get caught up in their own conversation. Then he could spend more one-on-one time with his girlfriend and not get a passive aggressive lecture during their walk home later.

For now, though, Rohan had received Koichi’s signal and was coming in for a landing. The corner of his mouth twitched, as if he were trying to smile at the other two people who were sharing their table but couldn't quite bring himself to do it.

Koichi was well aware that Rohan had been hoping for some Bro Time tonight, but beggars can't be choosers... he would have to make do and socialize. It'd be good for him, anyway, Koichi figured; he'd been such a hermit since the breakup.

As Rohan approached the table with visible apprehension, he was met with a silent nod from Yukako and a nervous wave from Koichi. It was actually Josuke – his fellow saboteur of this would-be date – who grinned warmly and motioned for the newcomer to sit beside him at the bench (which he did, though perhaps reluctantly.)

“Hi!” the younger man tried, “I’m Josuke, it’s a pleasure to meet the famous Rohan!”

All he got in response was a curt nod.

“Right, um… I’ve been to your record shop a few times, it’s a really cool place! And you have great taste in employees.” He shot a wink at Koichi, who laughed softly. More than anything the chuckle was an attempt to fill the uncomfortable silence that had settled over the table, an improbable vacuum amidst all the noise and chaos of the bar. Honestly, Koichi didn't know what else he had expected, being seated here amongst two people who would likely tear him in half trying to claim his attention, and one who just seemed earnestly interested in making friends.

Koichi cleared his throat. “Yeah, so, Rohan, I know you’re having a crappy day and all... I ordered your favorite drink, so just unwind and enjoy the company okay?” A hopeful grin.

“Hmm.” Rohan cast his wary gaze at the other two intruders again, but thankfully no one had to come up with something to say just yet; the merciful waitress appeared and plunked down their next round upon the worn wooden table. Four sets of hands reached out eagerly to claim their chosen vice.

The appearance of alcohol seemed to relieve the tension a little bit, at least enough for Josuke to try again, in between sips of whatever painfully sweet cocktail he’d ordered: “So... Koichi says you're havin' a rough day, eh? Well... I'm a neutral party... you wanna vent?”

Koichi knew the answer was a big fat no, but he appreciated the restraint his boss showed as he lifted his Manhattan to his lips, savored the sip, and then finally met the other guy’s expectant gaze. “It’s nothing interesting.” A pause. “Ex stuff.”

“Ah,” replied Josuke, pretending as if Koichi hadn’t already given him a rundown of the situation before Rohan arrived. “Now that's something I know a little bit about.” He nodded, raised his glass in a small salute. “Is this a good ex or a bad ex?”

Rohan inhaled sharply, met Koichi’s eyes, who froze up. Yukako remained silent but her eyebrow arched ever so slightly, surely indicating interest in seeing how this conversation would go.

Rohan sighed, took a longer swig from his glass. And then, surprising everyone, he replied earnestly: “A good one.” It sounded like an admission of defeat.

Josuke nodded again. “So… we’re dealing with a broken heart.”

Rohan pressed his lips into a thin line and Koichi took a deep gulp of his beer, once more preparing for the worst. Every word in this conversation was like a step forward through a field of landmines; every unanswered question was a split second of relief before remembering just how many paces were left to go.

At least, that's how it felt to Koichi; but Josuke, never one to back down from a challenge, seemed fine frolicking across the field. When Rohan didn’t answer, he continued, “Yep, I've been in your shoes for sure. There's only one thing you can do now.” Rohan still didn't bite, so Josuke looked over his shoulder and flagged down a waitress. “Excuse me – Can we get another one of these, please?” he said, gesturing towards Rohan’s glass.

Rohan chuckled at that. Dry, bemused, but still he chuckled, and threw back the rest of his first drink in response. Koichi sent a sideways look at Yukako and they mentally shared a question: Is tonight actually going to go okay?

Things went quiet again, but less awkward now; Rohan gingerly wrapped his fingers around the empty glass and looked off into the middle distance.

“I think,” he said slowly, “That I may have... very badly fucked up my one and only shot.”

“Rohan,” Koichi interjected, surprised that the man was opening up and damn, was he ever going to take advantage of this rare opportunity, “It's not that bad. I’m sure if you just talk to her, if you’re just honest and–”

“Absolutely not. Grovel at her feet? To what end? She’s already moved on.”

“Wait, she’s seeing someone?” Yukako suddenly leaned in, unable to resist any longer.

“No, I – Well, not that I know of…” the thought visibly troubled him but he continued, “But she was practically throwing herself at Nijimura, and that idiot’s been failing to conceal an enormous crush on her for ages.”

Josuke’s eyes widened a bit at this and he tilted his head, let it rest in his hand. But it was Yukako who jumped in again: “Seriously? Those two? Can you imagine?”

Koichi could imagine, actually, but he knew that saying as much would get three very intimidating people very annoyed at him. So instead he looked down at his beer bottle, pretending to be tremendously interested in the brewery’s manufacturing information.

“I know it’s an utterly ridiculous match, but honestly... if Reimi’s just looking for a rebound, she could have anyone. And Nijimura’s low-hanging fruit. No effort needed on her part.”

“What do you mean by that exactly?” Josuke’s voice was softer now as he stirred the straw in his drink.

“Oh,” Rohan said with relish. He turned fully to Josuke now, looking eager to deflect the scrutiny away from himself and towards Okuyasu. “You don’t really know him, but the guy’s a… Eh, he’s not the brightest bulb, shall we say. Doesn't have anything going for him.”

Koichi piped up again. “That's not true, he’s incredible at identifying motifs in music, and matching people’s tastes–”

“-unfortunately for me,” Rohan added as his second drink was placed in front of him. He took it without hesitation. “I told the guy once three years ago that he could help out here and there around the shop... And he just kept showing up.”

“Come on Rohan, don't be like that. He's a great guy!”

Rohan huffed, took another sip. Josuke did the same. And Yukako.

“I think he seems nice,” Josuke finally said.

“He’s fine,” replied Rohan, sounding very much ready to put his shields back up.

“Anyway,” Koichi put up both hands, “I-I think we're getting caught up in speculation, here. We don't know for sure that anything's going on with Reimi and Okuyasu. And even if there is, things will work out for the best in the end. Just take this opportunity to learn and go into your next relationship with an even stronger heart!”

It was good advice, but it was almost immediately dashed to bits on the shores of Josuke’s “Don’t give up so easily.”

Rohan looked at him again, raised a brow.

“I’m serious! If you really feel this strongly about her... you shouldn’t just let her go.”

“Um, well, Josuke,” Koichi said, thinking back to all the previous times he’d had to comfort Rohan, “I-it’s a long story, honestly, and some times it’s for the best to let sleeping dogs lie…”

“Okay, okay.” Josuke sat back, closed his eyes, folded his hands on the tabletop. “I admit, I don’t know you, Rohan. And I don’t know this… Reimi? But from where I’m standing it looks like she is someone you truly care about.” Rohan nodded. “And that’s special, dude. Like, I’ve had my heart broken, sure, and I've broken a few along the way. But there always comes a point where I realize it was all for the best and I feel ready for somethin' new. I'm just sayin'... if you're still in love with this girl after all this time...?” He trailed off, sent Rohan a mysterious sideways look, shrugged and went back to his drink.

Koichi was kicking himself now. Why hadn't he seen this coming? Josuke was a good guy and all, but his philosophy on romance was... well, a bit different than Rohan's. Even in high school Josuke had been a bit of a flirt, and Koichi could only imagine how many flings there had been in the time since they'd drifted apart. He was surely the last person at this table who should be doling out advice on true love.

Yukako, however, seemed to delight in this revelation. She had that menacing smirk she got whenever watching something terrible unfold for someone else. And Rohan was looking at Josuke with interest, clearly doing the mental gymnastics needed to convince himself to chase after Reimi again.

“H-hey, you guys wanna do karaoke?” Koichi blurted, “Get another round?”

“Why not both?” Josuke said brightly.

Rohan took this as his cue to polish off his second drink. “Next round's on me. Come on, Josuke... if you think Okuyasu's pea-brained taste in music is good, you should know he learned from the best.” He stood from his seat. “Witness the karaoke styling of Rohan Kishibe!” And with a dramatic flourish, he was off.

Well. At least Rohan's confidence was back... and with Josuke following after him giggling, it meant that the couple could finally be alone.

Yukako rested her elbows on the table, interlaced her fingers and placed her chin atop them. “He's going to do that Alanis Morisette song again, isn't he?”

“Yup,” Koichi sighed.

Yukako tut-tutted. “That boy has got it bad.” As if she were one to talk. “What a shame Reimi is sniffing after Okuyasu. I mean, it's a shame for everyone involved.”

“You guys are always so mean to him,” mumbled Koichi.

Yukako tittered, pulled her shrug close around her. “I'm just saying, he's not exactly boyfriend material. If Reimi gets tangled up with him... and with his boss trying to win her back? How dreadful.” The sparkle in her eyes betrayed the sentiment. “And all while your friend is crushing on him too? I don't get it, but wow, so messy.”

Koichi's eyes widened. “Whuh– wait. Josuke?”

“Oh, absolutely! Why else would he steer Rohan so hard towards Reimi?”

“Huh...” Koichi looked down at his now-empty bottle. He wasn't so sure, but then again Yukako always nailed this sort of stuff on the head.

“Poor Okuyasu, someone should let him know...” She looked off into space, positively giddy at the idea.

“P-please don't get involved,” Koichi begged, “We've already done enough damage just bringing these two together tonight.”

“Darling! I simply have Okuyasu's best interests in mind!” She feigned indignation. “He's my friend too, you know.” Koichi cast her an unimpressed look. She sniffled. “Fine. I won't... bring anything up. But when he comes to me for advice, which you know he will, I'm going to use whatever information is available to me to help him make an informed decision.”

Koichi didn't have another sigh left in him. But he accepted Yukako's concession, at least for now. Maybe when she wasn't actively pissed at Josuke and Rohan for crashing their date he could coax a little more compassion out of her.

“C'mon,” he muttered, “Rohan said he'd buy our next drinks. Let's catch him before we have to suffer through 'You Oughta Know' for the millionth time.”

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

FFS, I can’t believe I’ve screwed up this badly with my math!

Here I am, about to go do my once every two week shopping, and as usual I go check my bank account before getting out the cash.

Oh, that surprises you. Yeah, I use cash. I have a refillable debt card, but I reserve it for things I have to order or pay for online, and after trying to pay with a check at Walmart and being refused by their system because I “hadn’t written enough checks”, I’ve stuck with cash. It makes it easier not to screw up, having to keep a strict count while I shop, with no wiggle room, no space for impulsive “Why not?” It’s tough, but at least I don’t accidentally overspend….

Except I just found out I have!!!

It totally took me by surprise. My debit card it down to $12. I bet I forgot to count those new ankle braces I had to get, but the cause doesn’t matter right now. What matters is, if I get out my usual once every two weeks amount to buy the food for me and the animals I won’t have enough in my bank account to pay my $30 phone bill next week!

So here I am, kicking myself for every “luxury” (those blueberries) I bought and realizing I may not be able to buy the stuff I intended to get for the 4th. The 4th is my family “junk food” day, and I won’t have any more money until after!

I mean, I know it’s weird to complain about not getting to buy hot dogs, soda, and potato chips when you are already going “right, maybe you should skip meat and fresh fruit this time”. But darn it, I only buy junk food once a year! I look forward to it!

But the truth is fretting about food choices is distracting me from the real problem: The bills that might crop up before the 5th or 6th of July. The phone bill is the top of the list, but it is hardly the only thing.

Look, I’m used to being broke. Wear my parents’ old clothes, buy store brands, don’t drive anywhere you don’t absolutely have to, and that sort of thing. I STILL can’t drive the pickup because the next time I do it will hit empty and I haven’t been able to afford gas. It’s annoying, but I just shrugged and figured I’d get a few gallons with whatever cash I had left over after shopping. I’ve been saying that for two months now. But it hasn’t upset me too much. It’s just how poverty is.

But screwing up, doing my math wrong, buying a spare ankle brace because it was on special instead of the two new ones I needed right now, knowing my dumbness might mean I lose my already crappy phone service…..

I dunno. It’s not even the stress and anxiety of it, it’s the anger at myself over something I can’t fix that gets me. Like, “Oh good, I’ve driven off a cliff and all I can do is wait and see if I survive the crash.”

**sigh**

Well, someone sent me $5 through Kofi I still haven’t transfered to my bank account. That’s a start. Maybe I should go hunting for spare change in the parking lot. I won’t find $30, but every penny really does count…..

So if anyone likes my photos and/or sculpting feel free to tip or use my ko-fi once in a while. (If my tech cooperates I will add some fresh pics to my ko-fi page)

I hate to even write that, and I do NOT want anyone to feel pressured. As long as my tech holds on by it’s fingernails and I can keep my internet I will keep posting, and besides, I’ll figure something out or get lucky maybe. It’s all so humiliating.

But still, to remind folks:

Thanks for letting me vent.

[cowboyshit]

twenty questions

tagged by: @dustofinsanity (thank you so much my dear!!!!!!)

what do you prefer to be called name-wise? honestly I’ll probably answer to most things as long as they aren’t mean. but ash, ashley, doe, those seem to be the solid three I’m known by around here when is your birthday? november 30th!  where do you live? in a tiny, backwoods cow-town smack dab in the middle of california three things you are doing right now? filling this questionnaire out, eating dinner I just finished cooking, and petting sadie with my foot since she’s curled up at my feet after she finished her dinner four fandoms that have peaked your interest. I guess I can go with four I’ve been heavily involved with, even though there’s plenty more than that since I’m a little fangirl at heart, but wrestling (obviously), black sails, the night shift, and pirates of the caribbean how has the pandemic been treating you? uh, I mean, it hasn’t been great and I’ve had to deal with some pretty bad shit as all of us have, and probably some of my worst mental health battles I’ve had to face in about a year or so, but honestly? I just kind of count my blessings these days. lucky to still be employed, even if my pay got a little cut it was nothing that keeps me from paying my bills. all I had to do was take away a few luxury things to make ends meet, and that’s a lot, LOT less than other people have had to do. so yeah, it’s been pretty shitty, this year has been bad news after bad news both personally and globally, but whatever. it could be worse. a song you can’t stop listening to right now? it is no-joke like a four-way tie. a bunch of good songs were in my discover weekly and I’ve been playing four of them on non-stop repeat one after the other. oh! and one my best friend showed to me. this baby don’t cry by k. flay, rock bottom by grandson, ok ok by hoko, and insurgents by the poolside by denny recommend a movie. i’ve jumped into holiday mood early af because tbh I need the holiday cheer, so keeping in that theme, I suggest the holiday with jude law because DUH how old are you? thirty! school, university, occupation, other? had some college, been working in my current career for the past ten years. hoping to pursue a promotion finally since my supervisors have been telling me for the past eight years that I need to promote do you prefer heat or cold? cold pleeeaaaase! I’m a radiator and put off heat like nobody’s business. I’m always warm. name one fact others may not know about you. this is hard because I just constantly blab everything about me, and I have two people who literally know EVERYTHING about me lmfao uhhh I guess... something people may not know... uhhh... on my dad’s side of the family one half was ashkenazi jewish who had to flee germany to avoid the holocaust, where they went to live in italy, while the other half were nazi’s committing some pretty bad stuff that my family won’t talk about, even to this day. funny how two descendants eventually met in america and fell in love, huh? and when they DID fall in love one of them was half italian and in the mafia! so I always joke that my bubbly cheerful self is a descendent of some pretty evil shit, and it feels like a nice little stab at those shitty ancestors of mine. are you shy? uhhh yeah and no??? like. I think I’m shy, since all interaction terrifies me and exhausts me, but everyone tells me I’m a social butterfly? and I’ve noticed in places I’m comfortable and confident, I do tend to be less shy and more involved and interactive? but I think I can be shy. a lot of waiting for other people to initiate because I’m too afraid to, struggling to talk or carry a conversation at times... I don’t know I think I’m overcomplicating this answer LOL preferred pronouns? she/her!  biggest pet peeves? gatekeeping, to be perfectly honest. I stopped following wrestling back in 2014 because when I first tried to get into the fandom, someone was trying to gatekeep a wrestler I also liked and had started making content for and they made me feel like shit for liking them, and I absolutely hated it. that’s why it took me an entire two years of quietly lurking in the wrestling fandom before I finally got brave enough to come out of the woodwork, and I’m grateful I’ve been so well received this time around. but now I’m hyper-sensitive to gatekeeping and I fucking hate it. no joke. and since it’s a pet peeve and I’m irked just remembering all that bs I went through, ima say I’m only a part of fandom to share my love of whatever that thing is with other people who love it too. I can’t stand anyone who thinks they have some sort of “claim” over a celebrity or a show or anything. get a different identity that isn’t wrapped up in that thing and stop seeing it as a threat when other people like it. be happy someone else is as passionate about that thing as you are and make a friend. damn. what is your favorite “dere” type? I’m pretty sure this is something with anime or that originated from anime, right? unfortunately I don’t know what they are so I can’t say LOL I don’t even know if I’m right about it coming from anime tbh rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be. 4, 5, but I’m putting in the foundation now and working to make it a 6, 7, or possibly 8 by a year or two from now. what’s your main blog? funnily enough? this one. my OTHER blog that was my main blog since I joined tumblr in 2009 got shoved to the side for this one last year LOL I assumed I’d log onto this blog once in awhile, but now it took over my whole damn life so here I am I guess list your side blogs and what they’re used for. I’m going to be fair and ONLY list my active ones because I have a few side blogs from when I role-played on tumblr that I haven’t touched in over a year. @doedreamss is my non-wrestling blog that WAS my main blog before this one, @cowboysht is my archive where I am ONLY putting my original gifsets/analysis/fanfiction so that one day I can offer people a blog of just my original work and no other posts (the queue is very slowly catching up I think I’ve queued posts up until june this year), @illfatedandstarcrossed is just a non-frequently used outlet for me to mope and dump emotions when I get sad about my relationship things (like a diary! but... public? and not my original thoughts? LOL), and then I have one more blog but it’s locked and private and it’s LITERALLY my diary where I can just vent when I got shit I wanna get off my chest but don’t necessarily want people to see it. Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends? I probably won’t talk to you daily, tbh. I may not even talk to you weekly. socializing takes a lot out of me, on top of an already energy draining day-to-day in my personal life. I have a handful of people I connect with who I talk with frequently, but unfortunately as much as I’d love for it to be endless, I have to keep that list short for my own sanity. my infrequent conversations mean absolutely nothing about my lack of interest in you or how much I care about you. my granny once said I would be the perfect friend for someone you only want to talk to twice a month and she thought she was insulting me, but deadass I just said “YEAH! EXACTLY!!”

tagging: I really like this one so I WANT to tag people, but I feel braindead and also just want to post it cause I feel like I am definitely gonna forget to tag someone tbh aaaaahh okay okay I’m just gonna throw some names out there but please don’t feel pressured to do this (it is TWENTY questions) @kennyhoemega, @champbucks, @superkickparty, @adampage, @hintsofsunshine, @audreyhrnes, @sheslikealostflower, @lancearchers, @champnick, @janelanutella, @edgecution, @superrezzy00, @wardl0w, @writinglionqueen, @orangechuckiet, @hungmanhorsecarriage, @icouldbesus, @thatnerdwriter, @rampagewriting, @snarkandsarcasmftw, @tetsuyainthesky AND I DUNNO JUST ANYONE WHO WANTS TO OK I LOVE YOU ALL BYE