#i was gonna post this without even rereading it but then i was like actually i’ll read it

[ronanlynchbf]

ugh like. WHATEVERRRRRRRRR

[skid-the-mighty-poet]

[daddyplasmius]

every once in a while I remember this scene from Moulin & it kills me. FECing is now a regular part of my vocabulary & no one even knows what it means because I'm a chronic doesn't-public-fics dumbass. FEC me

[searenbound]

As I said yesterday I was more willing to revisit that post and rereading it I didn’t like the pacing or lack of concrete reasoning so I reworked it. I don’t exactly consider it a rewrite because it’s largely the same but I added more details and like it a bit more now.

Warnings: hybrid au involving a pet/owner dynamic, breeding kink + knotting, both implied(husband is likely having an affair) and actual cheating (married! reader fucks hybrid Bakugou and is a touch delusional/in denial about it), oral (reader receiving), afab reader with she/her pronouns, vaginal sex depicted

Pairing Katsuki Bakugou x reader

Is it really that wrong?

She’s not, at least she doesn’t think it should count as, thinking about fucking another man. Because she would never cheat. Never betray her husband in such a manner, so she doesn’t think this should count.

She was a loyal after all. A caring wife for her always too busy husband, so busy he doesn’t even touch her anymore.

Maybe that’s a lie though. She’s seen how that young whore of a secretary looks at him. And all those long nights? Sure seems like a perfect cover up.

She’s sure he’s too busy fucking her to come home and fuck his wife.

Maybe that’s why (Yn) poured herself into the dog hybrid he had bought her. A large strong american bully, for protection he had said clearly intending on him being a mean ol’thing. And he was, but not to her. Katsuki was sweet on her and loved how she would spoil him rotten.

Sharing food, like partners might. Allowing him to steal kisses from her lip. Sharing that big empty bed with him at night.

It was easy for him to pretend it was just them, that they were lovers.

Until her husband finally found his way home; and suddenly he wasn’t allowed any of that because it vexed her husband.

That man just didn’t understand how Katsuki could be so important. He was simply a pet, no different from a dog of the past in his eyes. But at least he kept (Yn) too busy to entertain the thought of her own affair.

Though he knew she would never cheat.

And she doesn’t.

At least that’s what (Yn) tells herself, that It’s not cheating if that night, after he’s rejected her advances again and left for some “meeting” he didn’t mention before, she lets her beloved hybrid comfort her.

And it’s just been so long and she’s so desperate, that she doesn’t exactly fight it when he follows his nose to the source of her sweet scent and shoves his head under her nightgown.

“It’s ok to, um, to taste it” she murmurs assuringly, unsure if it was for his benefit or her own.

Ultimately deciding it doesn’t currently matter as his big, rough tongue swipes at her bare pussy. Adoring the way his tongue took long, lavish licks. Devouring her from her gushing hole to her puffy clit.

He’s not technically a human, she tells herself as long thick fingers enter her, so it’s fine if she lets him do this. If she buries her hands in his hair and loudly cries out for him.

“Good boy Katsu! Feels s’good, just like that! Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum fuck, good boy!”

This doesn’t count cheating, she tells herself one more time when looks up at her with pleading eyes. She’s already let him eat and finger her pussy, it seems cruel to not let him fuck it to.

So she let him mount her, shuddering as he rubbed his cock against her.

It only occurs to her that he’s about to put it in without protection when his lush cock head is pushing in, but oh well. She doesn’t think, or rather didn’t care if she could, become pregnant by him.

At least that’s the conclusion she comes to when he’s fully settled in her. His size alone enough to make her moan like a bitch.

She doesn’t think she’s ever had anything like this in her before. She’s certain of it when he moves and his thick fat cock drags against her sensitive spots so deliciously.

Sinking deeper than her husband ever could as he fucked her and making her crave for his pups to be safe in her womb.

How she’d explain that to her husband she didn’t care. It doesn’t matter now anyways.

Not as she teetered close to falling off into a blissfulness only he seems capable of pulling her into anymore. Tearing out sobbing moan and plea for him to truly make her his bitch. To breed her and knot over and over again.

She wasn’t a cheater, she couldn’t possibly be if it was with Katsuki and his swollen knot that beats against her lips trying to force its way into her pussy to lock her to him.

She tried desperately to convince herself, but if she were honest, she was cheating. Every second she spends still married to that man was as if she was cheating on her beloved Katsuki.

[mxdarling]

[send me a pic]

aventurine fluff post, ooc aventurine, could be read as platonic or romantic, reader is trailblazer, gn reader who uses they/them prns, mostly texting format, takes place after 2.2 trailblaze quest, spoiler free!, a bit rushed, lowercase, 1.0k wc, based on a in-game text interaction with aventurine.

[a/n; got a in-game message from aventurine and decided to write for him LOLL I couldn't resist, my writing is so rusty now i;m sorry huhuu]

you were chilling in your room, laying down with your limbs spread out on the bed, doing absolutely nothing. after the events of penacony, you were completely exhausted. the bed was too comfy to get up from, like some magnetic force pulling you into the soft texture of the mattress. it was unusual for you to be doing nothing—doing nothing would make you bored, and you hate being bored, which prompts you to do anything to make that boredom go away. so having your eyes glued to the ceiling was a new feeling to you; you weren't in the mood to bother march and dan heng with your antics, or help pom pom clean the astral express, or talk to mr. yang and himeko, no, none of that. you simply wanted to be in your room, doing nothing.

minutes have passed, and your eyes, void of excitement, continued to stare down at the ceiling. it wasn't interesting, so it was the only thing your eyes could focus on without much effort. seeing as you weren't going to do much for today, the thought of sleeping away time sounded rather pleasant to you, plus the droopiness in your eyes gave you the go signal to drift off and take a nap. as you're lured into the embraces of slumber, you almost gave in until your phone let out a buzzing noise, pulling you out of rest.

your phone stays still on the bedside table, you sit up straight and leaned over towards your phone to take a peek at the notification that has woken you up.

a: [hey friend!] a: [how's life been treating you?]

caught off guard by his sudden message you leaned back and took a second or two to recollect yourself before reaching for your phone and typing out a reply.

t: [uhh been doing okay, hbu?] a: [a new shop that opened up here on penacony—cosmic star.] a: [checking the place out, it's fun, there's a lot of interesting stuff here.] t: [you planning on buying something there?] a: [well sort of, i'm not buying for myself though] a: [actually gonna buy something for you]

you audibly let out a confused 'huh' as you read and reread his message. this is definitely a first. you knew he had the credits to buy the most expensive things imaginable due to being part of the IPC, but you didn't think he'd let you indulge in his wealth beyond his missions.

t: [wait really? like actually??] a: [yeah gonna buy you something, first i need to find what strikes your fancy] a: [there's this "horizon" series pajama is made with a material so light it feels like nothing, warm in winter, cool in summer, and extremely comfortable] a: [wearing it to sleep should considerably lessen the fatigue from travel]

you were tempted to immediately say that was the item you wanted; after all, having some new sets of pajamas would be nice. though you decided to wait until he described the other items to you, perhaps there was something you'd like even more than the pajamas.

a: [speaking of travel, these "night diamond" series gloves, they're handcrafted and limited to ninety pairs galaxy-wide, perfect for parties and special occasions]

you didn't feel much for the gloves, if you were being honest; the ones you already had were fine and very comfortable during your travels through different worlds. still, you kept the gloves in mind in case you had a change of heart.

a: [and then there's this windbreaker from the "unmanned flight" series—a timeless classic!] a: [you can wear it and stand on the edge of a cliff, listening to the flapping of its hem when the cosmic storm hits… it's because of that scene in the movie, "unmanned flight" has now become the go-to choice for a generation of the nameless and their followers.]

the windbreaker sounded fun, you thought, plus you had a feeling that he picked that item because you’re a nameless as well. though you weren't sure if it would be any use to you.

a: [now, which one do you like?]

thinking very carefully between the three items he had describe to you, trying to sort out the pros and cons of each items but you ended up getting tired of doing so—in the end you settle for the vibes each item gave off.

t: [the "horizon" pjs then] a: [that's all? are you sure?] t: [yeah i'm sure] a: [alright, i'll have it delivered to you, just don't mind the extra packages okay?]

raising an eyebrow at his rather vague message, you hear the sound of hurried footsteps approaching. suddenly, your door slides open to reveal a disheveled march out of breath. "hey! why did you order so many packages!?" march whined, still out of breath as she continued to breathe in and out to catch some air. you watched from your bed in shock as she continued to huff out for air. looking back at you, she whined once more. "hey! these are your packages. help me out over here!" quickly you got off the bed and on your feet running after march, and you helped her carry your packages into your room. you wondered if this is what he meant by 'extra packages'.

t: [how many did you ordered!?] a: [what do you mean friend?] t: [i thought you ordered just the pjs??] a: [i did! with a couple of others things of course!] t: [????] t: [what others things??] a: [why don't you check the packages to see for yourself] a: [don't forget to send me a picture!]

with a sigh of disbelief, you turned your attention to the pile of boxes sent by aventurine himself, guess you should start unboxing.

t: [sent 10 attachments.] t: [what do you think?] a: [10 pictures isn't enough my friend but oh well] a: [as expected, you look really cute in those pjs friend!]

PLEASE DO NOT COPY, REPOST, SHARE, TRANSLATE OR REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO OTHER SITES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION + REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

[poppystheories]

The Lala and Gozul Containment Post:

This was admittedly the part I was looking forward to the least in my reread. Not because of anything bad, but because, well, there's a lot of foreshadowing here and lot of conclusions you can draw and a lot of them make me deeply unhappy.

Upon actually rereading, I came to several realizations that actually made me more optimistic about Allen's future haha

But lets take it from the top.

Starting off with an incredible chapter cover: Kanda and Allen, back to back, the cross inbetween them. Yes, it gives me Pillar vibes too. We're gonna ignore that for the moment because I don't have a clue how to interpret that. It could mean anything. Or nothing.

Lala and Gozul in front. The composition here definitely highlights all the Lala and Allen parallels we're going to cover below, but Gozul parallels both Allen and Kanda a bit, so he's in the middle.

Lala is very, very Allen-coded. The lie is she is a child abandoned by humans, found and kept by a malfunctioning ancient being.

The reality is Lala is not a real child, she was not abandoned by any parents, and she is created by Innocence. Likewise, Allen was also not a "real" abandoned child, but someone remade by Innocence.

Her left eye and left arm are also, well, fucked up.

She even fights the same way Allen did earlier this same arc, by using her strength to tear apart the crumbling city and throw it at her enemy:

But Gozul is also kinda Allen coded, right? In terms of role, as a disfigured human raised by malfunctioning ancient being. Gozul feels responsible for destroying Lala himself, because he loves her and doesn't want anyone else to do it if it has to happen. It's not hard to think as this as the probable end of Allen's story with the Earl.

It is also a parallel with Kanda and Alma, and how both Kanda and Alma felt like they had to be the ones to destroy each other. Someday, Alma will die in this same place.

But there's another person we're missing in this story.

Nea.

If Mana has to die, Nea wants to be the one to do it. If the original Allen was going to be erased, Nea wanted to be the one to do it. If the current Allen, all that's left of Nea's friend, has to disappear, Nea wants to be the one to do it.

The wish to "stay together forever" comes up repeatedly between various pairs of characters throughout the story, but especially Allen/Nea and Mana/Earl. It also comes up between Kanda and Alma. They all just want to be together with their loved ones until the end. This desire is without a doubt Hoshino's idea of "love".

Allen clearly sees himself in both Lala and Gozul and their ongoing tragedy. He can relate to them both, and he got to stay with Mana until what he thought was the very end, as Mana gradually slipped away.

He understands how they both were desperate for acceptance, abused by everyone they'd ever met before. How Lala was getting angrier and angrier at the world's rejection of her, just like he was as Red. How Gozul clung to the first hint kindness, just like he clung to Mana and Allen the dog.

Gozul and Lala "saved" each other and lived their lives together. Alma and Kanda got to be together, at the very end. They found their own peace together.

Notably, one of each pair did not destroy the other. Gozul did not take out Lala's heart, like he said he wanted to. Kanda thought he'd killed Alma, but it wasn't true, and in the end Alma asked Kanda to not destroy him with Innocence, but to let the Akuma-transformation kill him. Kanda agreed, and Alma crumbled to dust.

The "one destroys the other out of love" is not the conclusion reached here.

But, Allen is both sides of his own equation here. He's got a lot in common with Lala and Gozul. He's got a lot in common with Kanda and Alma. He's both Nea's Lala and Mana's Gozul.

There's also a big emphasis on Lala's heart. And this cover, with Allen placing a hand over his own heart. Later on, we'll see a very similar cover with Krory.

Yeahhhhhhh. Time will tell how that ties in to everything. Let's just keep it in mind going forward.

Lala gets reset after they retrieve her heart from the Akuma and attempt to restore her. The parallel with Mana, after being devastated by Red's Innocence, is obvious. He's no longer "Mana"—Nea already lost his chance to destroy "Mana" himself.

But this also parallels Allen becoming "Allen", no longer remembering Nea or the previous Junior, just a living puppet of the Innocence. Much like Lala was broken by the Akuma before Gozul could break her himself, the friend Nea was going to erase was erased by Apocryphos long before Nea even woke up again.

To Nea, both the Earl and Allen are broken dolls.

But, that's now how the story ends. Despite it seeming hopeless, Lala does remember who she is, in the end. Because Gozul didn't break her, at some point over the three days Allen patiently let her sing, Lala remembered herself.

The idea of managing to keep a promise at the end, despite having lost oneself, is very important here!

We haven't seen what Mana was like before he "died"; Allen's retelling of it is bleak. But I'm not so sure that's accurate. Maybe Mana regained awareness at some point of the time they spent together, maybe there's more to the story Allen doesn't know. Or maybe Mana will regain awareness, will remember who he really is, and the Earl will peacefully surrender his "heart", like Lala did, after fulfilling a promise.

As for "Allen"...

Allen is Nea's Lala, but "Allen" is Mana's Gozul. If "Allen" remembers being Allen, restores himself like Lala did, what of current "Allen"? And what will it cost? If Allen surrenders to Nea, Nea will kill someone they both love.

Kanda says that to save something, something else must be sacrificed, but what's actually established in this arc is: destroying what you love with your hands isn't the answer. Nea is wrong.

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

so i keep referencing the What Broke Delirium essay i plan to write but never actually writing it, so let's dig into that one!

because. sandman does not spoonfeed information. neil gaiman even said this in regards to the tv show, most shows are written these days under the assumption that audiences aren't really paying attention and need things spelled out for them - but sandman is not one of those shows. you gotta notice everything to get the full story

which honestly i love in many ways because it's part of why i'm never gonna run out of sandman essays to write - every time i reread the comics or rewatch the show i catch something new

and this is one of the first hidden bits of info i caught - remember this spread from overture?

it's a fucking gorgeous page and one of my favourite in the entire sandman run, both for the pretty art and the content itself (i love delirium SO much)

but let's just zoom in on the center of those flowers for a sec

because there's tiny tiny text written inside them

(for anyone who can't parse that, the first says "delight was sad", the second says "delight went mad")

now i've mentioned in many of my posts before that the endless all struggle to experience their own aspect, they are that thing, it exists for the most part out of their reach, and that causes problems for all of them

but i usually leave delirium out of these explanations

and that's because, for whatever reason, delirium is the opposite. and delight was too. i don't know what it is that makes her different, but while her older siblings all seem to be barred from their own domain by nature (or have to go to great lengths to experience it), del is too much of it. she's utterly absorbed by it. and while i think she's learned over the centuries how to be a bit more flexible (she understands the coins have two sides thing better than any of them, and can be lucid when she needs to), she didn't start out that way

we don't know what it is exactly that broke her. but we know why.

she had spent all of her life as the personification of happiness and joy, and someone who embodied those emotions. she appeared most as a little kid as delight, because kids definitely find it a lot easier to stay in that perpetually excited, happy mindset

but nothing stays that way forever. and this is where she is like her siblings, and why she's so familiar with the coin metaphor - when you're missing a fundamental piece of being human (either by being barred from your aspect or by being absorbed by it), that's not sustainable. it will tear you apart. dream refuses to accept that this is the case, and that breaks him. desire is equally stubborn about it, and they've outright admitted (in narration) that they're hanging on by a fucking thread

but death figured it out, when she realised she couldn't fulfill her function properly without learning what it was like to live. destruction figured it out when he ran away to go create. and delirium figured it out the hard way, because as soon as the world got a little too big for her singular aspect to make sense, it shattered

and it shattered slowly

there may have been some form of inciting incident, but she didn't become delirium overnight. i think a lot about her describing it as "growing up, or at least growing older", because that's both a very mature way to look at it and also an extremely tragic way to look at it, the idea that she knows too much, is never going to see the world the same way again, and that means delight is never coming back

(and that realisation is when she stopped presenting as a child and started presenting as a teenager)

and i think for a while, early days of being delirium, not delight, she didn't know what to do with that. delight broke into scattered pieces and the more fell away the harder it became to connect them

but she's also the only one of her siblings who's picked herself up from that. and it's why she's the wisest of them. because from there she learned

okay, so her innocence is gone. so delight isn't coming back. but there's still parts of her around, if delirium ever needs them. and the more she observes about the world, the more she experiences, the more different pieces she gets to add to the puzzle. they don't fit together, but that's del's real strength - they're not supposed to. she could have tried to reassemble herself piece by piece, like gluing together a broken statue, but why would she do that? then she'd be exactly as breakable as before, if not more so

instead she's more of a floating amalgamation of pieces, or rather, she's the ties between them. and because there's no set puzzle, she can put those pieces together in any order. she's no longer susceptible to the same problems as her siblings, because she's not missing anything anymore. she didn't lose parts of herself when becoming delirium, she gained some

and yes, no one is entirely without flaw - her downside is she's still susceptible to strong emotion, and when that overwhelms her mind she stops being any kind of person, we just see that floating amalgamation, until she can calm down. but that's the worst of it. her siblings may see her as broken, but she's more whole than she ever was as delight. and she's never going to break again

[nghtwngs]

while you fall (i’ll be there to catch you in my arms)

description: dick grayson comforts you on a lonely night as you pour your heart out to him.

pairing: batman!dick grayson x vigilante!reader

genre: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, friends to lovers

word count: 0.8k

warnings: trauma dumping, loneliness, dick grayson is batman, minor reference to detective comics #877

a/n: i’ve been reading the black mirror and dick said something that made me go “i’m gonna write this”—i totally forgot this was in my drafts (it’s been a year), but i just reread it, and wow this is actually good enough to post, especially since the new season has started airing. i hope you find comfort in this as much as i did.

“I’ve always been a people-watcher, Dick,” you murmur. Your arms are curled around your knees as you stare blankly into the abyss of the city below from your room.

The midnight black buries the buildings, but the bright neons light up Gotham a little even at its darkest hour. It’s the only source of light in here, bathing both you and Dick in its glow. He’s taken the spot next to you on the floor where you’re both leaned against the side of your bed. It rains again, a soft pitter-patter against your windows.

“I watch people too,” he says, but you know he means it differently.

“Not the way I do.”

You feel his intrusive gaze on you and the way he tries not to analyze you like he does everyone else. He’s failing, but you appreciate it anyway. He tries to understand without seeing you as another case he has to solve. Like he’s still Detective Grayson even after his time in Blüdhaven became nothing more than a memory. It’s instinctual though, a habit that he couldn’t get rid of. Neither of you could after all these years jumping city skylines.

Your eyes never shift away from the little dots moving outside. “Analyzing people is one thing, watching them is another. And I’ve been watching them for as long as I can remember. I watched them play games with each other on the playground, laugh together at lunch, click in a way I never could.

“Then, I started watching them in a different way. We read them. We can calculate their every move. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized how different those two things were. I always watched people enjoy life instead of living it. I never say what I want to say. I hesitate. I always hesitate, but never when I’m wearing the mask. Never when I’m out jumping rooftops in Gotham. Those moments… you can’t hesitate.”

Dick is used to being watched. He’s always going to be one of the main acts of the show whether or not it was a circus performance. He always knows how to put on a good show. That’s what he does best. And you would always be the one watching from sidelines as the audience. Sometimes, in the back of your mind, you’d be wishing that it was you falling off that trapeze.

You exhale, rubbing your eyes. “You’ve always been in the middle of everything. I’m not sure if I’m jealous of that or what. I don’t think I am? It seems… like a lot. Sometimes though, I wonder what it’d be like to be the center of things for a while.” You blow out a shaky breath, blinking away the water in your eyes. “I don’t even know what I’m trying to say. It all sounds so stupid coming out.”

You realize your mistake now. You’re letting someone take a glimpse of you, the you behind all the sarcasm and blank eyes and silence. Your eyes squeeze shut. You are being too much. No one likes too much.

“No,” he answers softly. “It doesn’t.” A few moments of silence pass, followed by his voice again. “Can I… hug you?”

You stare at him like he’s just asked you if the moon is really made out of cheese. But his eyes are so earnest, so caring, and so warm that you find yourself landing in Dick’s arms right away, burying your head in his shoulder. His arms wrap around your torso. You don’t even realize you were shaking until his voice comes out in small whispers.

It’s okay. You’re doing great.

It only manages to make you cry harder, your sobs being muffled by his skin. It feels good to let go. Pretending is getting tiring.

Your throat is hoarse now. It sounds like sandpaper. Feels like it. Your eyes lock onto the wall behind him. All the emotion is being drained now, seeping through the cotton of Dick’s white t-shirt and into his warm skin.

The next words that escape your mouth are unexpected by the both of you. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt loved.” You feel him stiffen underneath you as you continue, “I want to feel seen, heard.”

“Can I love you then?” he murmurs without missing a beat, hand rubbing your back gently. “Can I make you feel loved? I’ll make you feel so loved.”

He makes it sound like such an honor. Like loving you is the single most important thing he could be doing, and you know that to not be true. But the way he’s holding you makes you feel differently. It makes you feel like everything would be okay with him.

You guess that it’s just the Dick Grayson effect. He could make you feel like falling out of the sky is completely safe because he’d be right there on the ground to catch you.

“Are you sure?”

“I don’t think I’ve been more sure of anything in my life,” he answers. Dick presses a chaste kiss to your temple.

“Never?”

“Nope. Never.” He holds you tighter and smiles at you. He looks like an angel. He looks like your savior. “I’ve always been sure about you.”

[livelaughlovelams]

I know people have already talked about Von Steuben's letters and this might just be a personal thing but I don't think you all understand just how sickening, how gut-wrenching, how tear bringing, how absolutely depressing they are because oh my god oh my god how I wish I could have helped that god damn old decaying man because no one else did and nobody was there and his gaggle of 20yro boyfriends practically abandoned him and his last year was without his dog so he was left with nothing ABSOLUTELY nothing worth anything in his life, and he was desperate for company and desperate for all his friends to reach out to him, yet when Hamilton finally did, he denied?? All his post-war letters basically either say "oh North how can you even love me I'm horrible...do you even love me?" OR "hey old buddy I'm financially struggling can I pls get some money to feed my family of 14 who visit sometimes" like???? OMFG this man. I am crying. I will fight for this man. And I would say "why didn't anyone just reach out and help him" but like Hamilton tried but I'm still absolutely depressed for him I love him so much I wish he was doing okay because I can't mentally bare him being sad even though he died like 200 years ago and I swear I was actually gonna ramble about important stuff but I'm rereading this post and it actually looks really stupid and I don't know what point I was trying to make in the first place okay bye

[royboyfanpage]

What would you consider to be the defining characteristics of Roy? Like what makes Roy Harper well Roy Harper?

Please and Thank You ☺️

Hi! That is a really great question

Okay the first defining characteristic is easy to answer: love. Romantic, platonic, familial etc. He loves so strongly, and once he’s loved someone once he’s pretty much gonna love them forever. You can see it with Lian (which I think is particularly present during Lian’s early appearances- baby Lian era- but is also very evident all throughout her existence), you can see it with how he never stopped loving Jade, you can see it with how he lets his heart get broken for Donna, you can see it with Dick and Ollie and Dinah and everyone important to his life, and regardless of if these people hurt him he’s still gonna love them. Which leads onto his second defining characteristic-

Forgiveness, and emotional honesty. In my opinion, a good Roy Harper does not hold grudges, at least not for very long. This is something that I think’s most interestingly demonstrated in Titans (1999) #15, wherein the Fab Five are all on an island together where their emotions are being manipulated to turn them against each other. And the main reason I think this issue in particular is so interesting is because when everyone else is there bringing up resentments and grudges, particularly towards Roy, Roy doesn’t. The only times that it could be argued that Gargoyle’s manipulating Roy’s emotions to make him more hostile, it’s always in direct response to something else that’s happened there- take, Dick insulting Roy and calling him unreliable, for example. And when you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. Roy’s generally perceived as the “hothead” of the group and, while I don’t like it that much as a negative connotation (though there are undoubtedly some moments where it is a negative), it is in a way true. He’s very much an immediate responder- he won’t let things fester, he’ll immediately call things out when he doesn’t like them, and then once he’s gotten that out in the air he’ll drop it even without any apology (which, to be honest, 9/10 times he does not get an apology). He doesn’t hold grudges because he takes action immediately against things he doesn’t like, and then ends it there once he’s voiced his thoughts. He forgives incredibly easily, which unfortunately has made him a bit of a punching bag among his friends- everybody knows Roy as the one who doesn’t hold things against you, and so they don’t have many reservations about calling him a junkie or insulting him (which as a little aside is why I love Roy punching Dick in Outsiders so much- this isn’t a new occurrence, people have been calling him a junkie for years, but he actually stands up for himself which. Good for you baby.) Obviously this isn’t always the case, and a really interesting casual observation I’ve made recently is that it’s definitely something that came about more after Lian was born. I haven’t thought about this in great depth before, so I’m not taking into account the original Teen Titans run because it’s currently 5am and I cannot be arsed to reread it all looking for panels that back up my point, but Roy’s emotional honesty was definitely not as key pre-Lian as it after she came into his life, particularly surrounding Ollie. Maybe I’ll make a separate post about this at some point when I’ve thought about it more, but essentially my point is that Roy promised Lian that he wouldn’t lie to her, and a part of not lying is being more open and honest in all aspects of your life.

And then the next is Roy’s abandonment issues. Is he even Roy Harper if he doesn’t have abandonment issues. A key part of Roy’s relationships is that he expects them end, he expects everything to go wrong and for him to be once again left on his own. The most clear example of this is with Donna, particularly their relationship in Titans ‘99. In #5, he asks her on their date “With all the great guys in your life, why the hell are you out here with me?” To which her answer is essentially he’s not Dick, Garth, Wally, or Kyle, nothing about who he is, just who he’s not, which she later expands on in #6 by saying she wanted to date him for his “reputation”, so she could be seen as less of a nice girl, which again, isn’t really saying anything about Roy as a person, just what function he can provide as a boyfriend at that time. And then again in #15 (have I mentioned before that the Gargoyle storyline is one of the absolute best stories for Roy analysis? Because it is) when Donna tells Roy that she doesn’t intend on staying with him, saying ��when we break up”, Roy just… leaves. Which I think is a really interesting juxtaposition against the last point I made, it’s one of the few instances where Roy actually can’t immediately voice his feelings because he just can’t handle having his fears confirmed one more time, he has to leave. And then when Donna and Roy finally have their heart to heart at the end of Donna’s “who is” arc (I can’t remember the exact issue), Roy has this… one split second, one single panel where you can see his pain, before he puts a mask on to go back to the carefree Roy Harper, essentially telling her he’s glad he chose her out of everyone to experiment and that he’ll always love her regardless of if they’re in a relationship, despite the fact Donna doesn’t really acknowledge his feelings- just Lian’s. I just think it’s really interesting how Roy’s usual openness about his emotions isn’t as present with Donna, and he’s way more likely to lie to her to hide his pain. And Roy’s abandonment issues are so important throughout his story- he can’t stand being alone, he’s hardly ever a solo hero, but he expects it. There are a lot of reasons why Roy got addicted to drugs, but the main one which was present in both the original Snowbirds comic (through Roy’s speech about how “someone” might turn to drugs in order to deal with an “older friend” leaving them) and his Secret Origins story is that he turned to drugs because he couldn’t handle Ollie leaving. I’m not gonna go into depth with Snowbirds here, I’ve already done that a lot, but his abandonment issues are absolutely a core part of his character particularly in the fact he’s proven right so often. But what’s most interesting is something I made a post about before is that Roy’s abandonment issues don’t manifest in the way you’d expect. Usually, a character who has abandonment issues will hide themself away, not let anybody close for fear of being hurt again. Roy? His arms are always open. He will let them into his life, fully expecting them to hurt him, and he’ll do this again and again and again. He’s attracted to it like a moth to a flame- he can’t be alone, he’s an extrovert to the highest degree, and he keeps getting his heart broken because it’s always on his sleeve.

There’s a lot more I could talk about here, but I’ve been typing for like an hour and my fingers hurt now. I hope this is satisfactory :)

[yuseirra]

More about 159~

hahaha XD aw, GOSH this comic is CRAZY, I think it would be fun if I read it as books and in volumes, it's because it's incomplete, and scattered eps that things feel so tense and awkward, I'm sure. It'd have more sense of flow as a volume.

I wrote a lot of things based on my stream of consciousness this morning (because well I draw hikaai and I DO care a lot about character portrayals and analysis) and I want to share it with you all! I reread it after the heat of the moment and I find it really funny,

If you want to feel assured about Ai and Hikaru (and perhaps ONK as a whole) or like the ship hikaai, I feel this is another post that could help you. Like I said in my ch 159 review, if this ain't it, I have no idea where this is going to head and I might as well take a break off from this piece for a bit and get some air. P3R episode Aigis is coming out on the 10th (great timing!) but I think I'm on the right track. I got so many things right since I picked this up thus far :D So for now, here we go again:

This is just my intuition and a piece mostly based on gut feelings.

Ha;; This morning, I saw someone extremely worried about Kamiki and Ai and couldn’t leave them feeling uneasy... I’m not in a position to calm others down, though!! I'm the one who needs to be calmed!! give me time to brace myself!!! I get tense because I care about where the story's gonna go too!!! I analyze characters and make fan works. I HAVE to look into the source material and make sense of things in order to do that o<-< I’m really stuck with this manga, aren’t I? What a ride... Okay I know the character looks a bit out of it. But listen, even if we criticize the character, we should wait for the next chapter before doing so. Come on, what would Kamiki even LIE about in the first place? Let’s sit down and think calmly. Let’s go over the facts.

Honestly, it would have been better for Kamiki if Ai wasn’t an idol. If Ai hadn’t been an idol, Ai wouldn't have had to die for deciding to keep her very kids with him!! Ai was murdered because she was an idol who had a boyfriend and kids(it's an absurd reason but to Ryosuke, that was his reason to go through with it). If she hadn’t loved Kamiki, she wouldn’t have died. This isn’t Kamiki’s fault, of course!! To add, if Ai weren’t an idol, they might not have broken up in the first place. Even if they had broken up, Ryosuke wouldn’t have tracked Ai down and killed her!! Things would have been so much better for this character if Ai hadn’t been an idol. His situation on the matter, It's totally the opposite of Nino and Ryosuke’s!

To Kamiki, Ai was certainly one-of-a-kind and irreplacable, yeah. But from Kamiki’s perspective, Ai was never a perfect, flawless figure that he found the need to idolize. She was someone who learned acting from him, who was clumsy and scattered, who needed his guidance in the beginning. She shared the same pain, opened up to him, understood him, accepted him, and loved him. Even though she gave him a deep wound and they parted ways, even when he thought she didn’t love him anymore, she remained precious to him to the point where he was willing to give his life for her. She was the person he wanted to marry. Ryosuke and Nino would kill her for not being perfect enough, but that’s not who Kamiki is. He’s actually the biggest victim of that incident only after AI herself. If Ai had survived, he might have been able to meet their children, reunite with Ai, clear up misunderstandings, and more importantly, Ai would still be alive. That alone would have made life more bearable for Kamiki than living in a world without her. I keep saying this but I'm sure he wouldn't have leaked the address to Ryosuke on purpose. I wrote many theories about this and I came to a conclusion that it must have been a mistake on his end, after getting drunk from sadness after Ai dumped him in the phone call. What kind of mastermind could he even be regarding this case? He was 19 at the time. It's total nonsense. There is no reason for him to try and attack Ai who tells him she has their children growing smart and healthy. He's lying about it to Aqua to make him feel better about avenging him because he believed that's what him and Ai's wanted.

What kind of grand conspiracy could a character like this possibly be behind? At least when it comes to Ai’s death, I don’t think he’s responsible. Even if he grew mad, I feel like that would have taken place after it happened. So what is it that this character wants? I’ve been curious about that too-

When I heard anime S2's opening, I immediately realized!! He wants to see Ai again! Would Aqua say something like,

Aqua has Ruby, Kana, and Akane. He’s not going to live just to get closer to Ai or live solely for her love. Maybe to fulfill Ai’s wishes, but that’s different.

“Without you, I cannot live anymore

I would sacrifice anything for you

I can’t get enough of your love

What should I use to fill in what’s missing?”

If Kamiki has any goal, it’s this: He's never been seen to have a desire for Ai to be the ultimate, perfect idol. He’s not twisted that way. If he’s twisted, it’s more like, “I’ll give anything for Ai.”

Think about it. If someone you love died, what would you want most? You’d want them to live again, right? You wouldn’t go around committing serial murders saying, “No one can surpass them!” You’d just want to see them again if there was even the smallest chance. That’s the most important thing. Nino and Ryosuke are twisted. They liked Ai as an idol, not as a person. But this person has two cute kids with Ai... even though they never got to see them properly. He says he has paternal love, and I believe that because there’s no reason for him to hate the kids. He was prepared to take responsibility, after all. Wouldn’t he be happy about having kids with Ai? Wouldn’t he find them adorable, especially since they look so much like him and the one he loves? Seeing how much he still cares for Ai, he’d probably love their kids too. He refers to them as "Yours(Ai's) and mine". He’d probably want to bring Ai back for the sake of the kids, if not for himself. He even believes Ai died because of him, so that would only add to his desperation and longing. When someone dies, they can’t come back, so that possibility doesn’t usually cross the mind-

However, It seems that the songs are saying there is some kind of hope for that becoming a reality even if the chances are very slim. To think Kamiki would have wanted to preserve Ai’s image as an idol and that's what's been driving him? No way. That’s exactly what killed Ai. He’d probably be sick of that... He just wants Ai to live. That’s his motive. He’s been hanging onto that.

As for the Hikaai ship, I had been holding off on judgment until Ai’s feelings came out. I felt like I won’t know until I hear from Ai herself how she feels about him so I waited out for quite long till the entirety of the movie arc, until it got its closure-

And it really occurs to me, people don’t seem to realize how much thought and conviction it takes for Ai to feel that strongly about a person.

Ai is scared, has a sensitive soul, overthinks things, is defensive, and gets wary. She’s afraid to love and get close to people because she doesn't want to get hurt.

But Ai couldn't give up Kamiki’s child because they were what she had with him, even while she was afraid it would be a burden to him!! Do you know how much certainty, affection, and love that takes? It doesn’t seem to resonate with people as much as it does for me, it's such a deep and strong feeling. That's what really got me. She was scared, but she still wanted them because they were theirs...and she protected their children with all her heart that point onward.

This kind of love is something that you might encounter just once in your lifetime, you might never get to meet someone like that at all.

So I thought, “Good for Ai. She found someone she loved that much.” Kamiki must have been a really precious person to Ai to make her feel that way.

In my opinion, for someone to make Ai feel like that, they would have to be the kind of person who would give out their every part of their organ, even their heart to her if that's necessary, and still think it’s not enough. And when you listen to the songs, the speaker does really seems to express that kind of emotion. That's why I thought 'Oh, this is definitely Ai's lover. This is Kamiki that's saying these things.'

You have to trust Ai’s judgment. Ai is serious about love, and she found someone to give it to. He's the one person she decided on. She wanted to live her life with him, worried about him until the end, named her children after jewels because they looked like the one she loved. Had her son who takes after his dad so much have the characters "love" and "longing" in his name. That’s how much she adored him.

What does that tell you? And when you look at the backstory, it seems Kamiki thought he loved Ai even more than she loved him.

Then that must mean he must have treated her really well. So, it’s not about whether Kamiki loved Ai or not anymore. That's totally just a given!! What’s important now is what he has done since Ai's death.

In chapter 155, he said he was "going to do what he could for Ai" and left. Then Aqua showed up near him in this chapter saying, “I need to save you.”

When you listen to the songs, the narrator keeps saying they don’t mind dying. This is a character who has already said they could die for Ai. So what will they do? I think they’re planning to die “for Ai.” But is offering something for Ai or dying for her really what Ai would want? No. Ai would want Kamiki to live and be happy, and they know that, but they’re lying to themselves. That’s the lie this character tells. It’s a self-sacrificing but self-satisfying kind of thing. That's why Aqua says the lies "are for his own sake". This also explains why Ai left a message asking to help Kamiki. This character is someone who could go to extremes "for Ai", but Ai didn’t want that, which is why Aqua is trying to stop it.

If this isn’t the case, then I won’t be able to make sense of this manga... Haha, the Persona 3 DLC will be out soon, so I’ll just go play that...

This feels right to me, though. If it’s not, I don’t know what else it could be;;

Maybe Kamiki's been possessed by an evil god? But even if that’s the case, the motive he has would probably still be about "saving Ai".

On another note, Kamiki was so gentle and kind in his tone when speaking to Aqua. He spoke really softly, didn’t he?

If he had been able to raise the kids with Ai, he would have been the type to pamper and spoil them... He'd have been a sweet dad. I feel like Ai really did choose a good guy to father her kids.

The way he speaks to Aqua feels quite similar to the last lines and atmosphere of the lyrics of Mephisto.. something about it will be brought up soon, I mean Aqua's wearing that same clothes.

To Kamiki, Aqua must be his and Ai’s cute son, right? But does he know Aqua’s soul is originally that of a 30-something-year-old doctor? If he’s possessed by an evil god, maybe he is aware of these things. But if he doesn’t, it might be a bit awkward. His son is almost the same age as him inside...

Aqua is Aqua, though? But that thought still made me laugh a little. I could imagine Kamiki suddenly speaking very formally towards Aqua upon figuring out he's actually the doc who aided Ai with delivering his children safely. Kamiki seems like the type to speak with a lot of courtesy... the way he speaks has been very polite. It depends on the character, but I think that is part of how he is originally.

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

☆ i will be referring to this conflict as i/p as shorthand for israel/palestine. I recognize the war is between Israel and hamas im just using this term because its short and its common enough that people will get what I mean.

saw a video of a woman with a text overlaid with something about how something was finally over. I think she might have used the term war i just can't remember and I didnt save it even though I shouldve. point is something bad in her life had ended and she looked absolutely relieved and overjoyed and you could quite literally see a weight being lifted off her. whatever actually ended (there were no specifics) was clearly enough of a stressor that it felt incredible when it was done.

anyway there was nothing in the post nor the caption imply that this was about i/p. yet nearly all the comments were like "wait I thought this was about palestine" or "I thought palestine won" "you're misleading us" and other things of that sort.

first of all, how rude do you need to be to see someone celebrating and then get angry that they're not happy about the "correct" thing. how can you be so separated from human emotion that the simple expression of joy and relief is foreign to you. not saying you can't have false assumptions its totally normal to look at something online and have to reread it bc its about a totally different topic than you originally thought. what is messed up is saying the creator has to talk about palestine instead of her own accomplishments because they misunderstood her post. not because she mislead anyone on purpose or anything like that just because of a simple misunderstanding. she did not hurt a single person by making this post and yet instead of just congratulating her and making a little joke about misreading, they are acting as if she is a horrible person because she's not talking about palestine in this specific post.

second of all, this just shows how little people get their information from reliable sources. if the war ended and you were informed by a random post on Instagram because you do not look at anything besides that for information, then you probably haven't learnt enough to be discussing this conflict. of course you're gonna get info on social media that's just how the internet works. you just don't get big news from here without checking it because there's a decent chance its wrong. people lie all the time, people hide facts, and tbh social media politics are like a shitty worldwide game of telephone. if this woman actually was saying the i/p war ended, would these commenters have taken her word and assumed she was telling the truth?? would they have even looked at a single reliable source to see that it hasn't ended?? or are influencers somehow valid news sources now??

point is yall need to find shit to do outside of i/p and start focusing on your own lives and leave women who are just existing the fuck alone. also learn how to find reliable sources it is really scary how little some of yall know about that. I feel like I should proofread this i just am getting pins and needles in my hand so that's just not happening

[orcelito]

orcelito's trigun fic recs!

making this for @trigunfanfic's fic appreciation week! this is a nonexhaustive list & not in any particular order (aside from the smut fics, which i separated into another section). just a few fics i rly love & think should get more attention!!

so Here are the multichapters (some of which have smut, but it's not the focus):

someone to last your whole life by catchatter / @needlab7

this one is sooooooooooooooooooooooo 🥺 i was reading it as it was being released and MAN it drove me insane. every bit of the post-trimax love and healing i couldve ever wanted. genuinely one of my fav trigun fics. it's just so well written & evocative. it really does feel like Vash and Wolfwood... and just. aughghghgh im gonna have to reread it sometime bc it truly is something special

CAUSE OF DEATH (See instructions and examples) by neatrogenous / @floofyfluff

this is the other post-trimax fic that Changed My Life. i read it all in one go in one euphoric hyperfocus. i felt every emotion known to mankind. it is just. slkdfjsldfjlskdfj god. i adore how Vash is written here. both of them, really. it just feels so much like them. someday, i will reread this one Too...

Make it to Daybreak by @hypermoyashi (on both ao3 and tumblr)

god. what to say about this one. honestly i have never watched Demon Slayer so going into this fic i was missing that context, but i never felt like i was actually missing out on much. Allen does such a fantastic job at bringing u into the world without having to know anything about it at all. i LOOOOVE demon vash sooo much. so very much. im a little behind on updates rn sldfsdfkj but im excited to catch back up bc everything about this au is just Sooooo fun. everyone potentially interested in Demon Vash should read this. Do it. Right Now. 🥺 pls

Trillium and Ivy by @shastafirecracker (on both ao3 and tumblr)

AUGHHHHHH omfg this one was one of the first fics i read for trigun, and MAN it really set a high bar for me. im a little picky when it comes to modern aus, but this one is just so.... WONDERFUL... i read the entire thing in the first half of my day one day and spent the rest of my day in a fugue state. it was just SO SO SO good. i recently reread it and even having read it before, it was just as wonderful to read. realistic relationship development, compelling Saverem drama, all of it. it's also probably my favorite fic for the depiction of Vash's injury & recovery. the first time i read it i was just blown away by how realistic it felt, right down to the trauma memories of watching bargain bin movies while he was stuck in bed. honestly i could rant for forever about this one lol. it truly is special.

and RELATED TO THAT,,,

Wildflowers, also by ShastaFirecracker

i actually didnt know these 2 fics were written by the same person at first lol. Wildflowers got linked in my trigun server & i checked it out bc Fuck Yeah trans wolfwood. and then had my world just blown away. it's SUCH a good fic, & i really am such a sucker for fantasy au. and i was just absolutely gushing about how realistic the depiction of trans wolfwood was even before i finished the fic. SUCH a great fic. so imagine my surprise & delight when i went back to reread Trillium and Ivy and realized -- OH FUCK, it's by the SAME PERSON !!! such beautiful writing, For Real. i really do love these 2 fics.

Sun, Moon, and Stars by tragic_unpaired_electron (can't find a tumblr link on the fic or ao3 profile, so if anyone knows them feel free to share this with them pls !!)

WOW LOOK it's a fic that doesnt have VW as the main focus!!! unfortunately the only one of those on this list (i May be a tad predictable...), & it really earned its place here. it's just such a fascinating fic that answers the question of What If Tesla Survived? i adore the exploration of her strengths and struggles, as well as her sibling relationship with Knives and Vash. it's so INTERESTING, and it gets into the meat of fighting for the rights of Independent Plants (and plants in general) and just. man. i read this and wanted to devote my life to one Tesla Saverem. she is so precious and hard-headed and SUCH a good big sister. pls do read it, it's such a lovely fic

and NOW...

onto the smut fics lol.

there are Plenty of very good smut fics around, but these are the ones that really stuck with me. either for being Different than the norm, or just being very... well. ya kno lol.

dont worry about the picture this paints of me lmfaoooo

you'll never get enough by tagteamme / @phaltu

AGHHHHHHHHH oh my god this fic made me FEEL things. it's a boxer / gym au, and MAN does it do it well. u get the sweaty gym setting, u get the homoeroticism & horny pining, u get the blatant masochism that drives them both... im just obsessed with it. that stove scene is going to stay with me For Life. & the smut is of course VERY good, but the Vibes... oh the Vibes are so impeccable. obsessed.

there is a season for all things by SolidShrimp (cant find their tumblr on the fic/profile, but i Know ive seen them on tumblr 🤔 if anyone knows their url, pls do me a favor and send this to them!)

THIS ONE.......................... man. man. man. man. like i know xeno is The Average for fandom vash, except the normal flower "plantussy" doesnt really do much for me. im too much of a monster fucker for that i guess. it's not BAD, just not particularly exciting. this, though? now, THIS one left an impression. ive already gushed about it to the writer in the comments of the first fic (havent kept up with the sequel fics, tho i really should catch back up sometime) so i'll keep it brief here. just. such an UTTERLY delightful inhuman vash portrayal, to the point where his reproductive biology is just plain incompatible with Wolfwood & Meryl's (oh yeah, it's mashwood, which is WONDERFUL...). wolfwood and meryl are in over their head trying to figure out how to get vash off in his own way, but they do their Absolute Best!!! it's just rly sweet and i adore the way the writer went Full Ham into the inhuman aspects. utterly delightful.

Kick me once again, and say we'll never part by epsilontauri (doesn't look like they're on tumblr? there's just a link to their twitter on the fic. but if anyone knows them, feel free to send this to them!)

this one is. so. very. AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. ok i will be honest this is probably my favorite vw smut. and it's barely even smut. the sequel is definitely much more sex, but this one is. well. it's some extreme, dangerous, and barely negotiated S&M. as the saying goes, it's neither Safe Or Sane, but it sure is consensual! it's just so. well looking at just the tags sure does reveal it. horrible coping, it's an intense fic, but it's just so.......... DELIGHTFUL........... i really really really love fics that stick to their guns like this. and i love how even though Wolfwood had a GREAT time, we get to see how it kinda freaked Vash out (he did Not like hurting Wolfwood), so the sequel is good for a fic where they're both genuinely having lots of fun. this one is actually rather not fun for Vash. but it's just. it's about the Extremity of it. the Possessiveness. pushing someone to their absolute limits!!!!!!!!! this is another fic that i rambled in the comments about bc. yeah. yeah. it's. just trust me. if ur into fucked up dudes being fucked up dudes, this is the fic for you.

& OKAY i think that's my list. again, it's nonexhaustive, but ive had enough typing i think lol

hope u guys enjoy the recs 🥺

[cryoverlife]

So I made a brief post talking about Ruby and Julius Kane being bad parents and uh... here's the essay.

(quick side rant, omg this post is going to be long)

honestly I really should make a series about it, because after really thinking about it, the Kane Siblings have a severe lack of any good parental care in their life. This isn't exactly abnormal in the Riordanverse, but compared to the other series, which have minimal adult characters (that aren’t dead or immortal), the Kane Chronicles have many adult characters and many of the important ones were there to take care of Sadie and Carter.

Yeah that didn't work out.

I mean there's a lot of facets to the Kane siblings relationships with parental figures. From the... interesting and like definitely racist environment Sadie had to deal with while living with her grandparents to Carter's mental state and identity(?) while living with his dad. there is so much I could over analysis, and I'm not a fan of these books to sit around and reread all day so uh, I'm gonna over analysis all of it.

Eventually, but this post will be long even talking about the more aspect I want to talk about with out dragging the rest of the things I find interesting into it soooo.

When first reading the Kane Chronicles, Ruby and Julius actually seem like good parents. they certainly made mistakes but they do love their kids. and even now, I don't doubt they love their kids. It's just an incredibly interesting scenario where the parents, no matter how much they love their kids, are capable of putting the well being of the world first.

And that's the crux of the issue. Ruby and Julius are capable of being excellent parents, but in the situation they were in, they decide it was either the world or Carter and Sadie and they didn't hesitate to choose the world.

In fact, I'm pretty sure Bast said something very similar to this.

Anyway, I'm gonna start with Ruby and Julius's deaths. Personally, I think saying they abandoned Carter and Sadie isn't actually wrong here. I'm definitely not saying someone dying is abandoning the people they love, but it's the way Julius and Ruby both die and how both situations are almost planned.

Now there's not a lot of cannon conformation about Ruby's death, but I, personally, inferenced that Ruby and Julius predicted that it was a very likely scenario that freeing Bast would mean Ruby's death. Or at the very least they definitely knew the dangers of it.

Unlike Julius, Ruby didn't choose to die, but she did put herself in a situation where it was likely. Did she do it with the best intentions? sure. But I find the whole "we had no other choice" thing dumb. Diviner doesn't seem like an incredibly reliable source of information, and unlike the greek pantheon I'm not aware of any being in Egyptian Mythology that specifically controls fate (feel free to prove me wrong here). The idea that they couldn't have done anything else, is kind of absurd.

I mean they convinced Iskander that banning gods was wrong so like? maybe they should have leaned more into that angle.

Also like, they freed Bast, which good for Bast, but doing that sped up the process that allowed Apophis to get free. Ruby had a couple of visions and the two of them spent the rest of they're lives deciding to not just prevent the apocalypse, but to put that burden on their children's shoulders.

Personally, I think Ruby's death was while unfortunate not a surprise to either of them, considering she didn't really seem to try to survive, denying both Isis's and Bast's help. Maybe she wouldn't have been able to handle the power, but like, she could have tried.

Now the bigger Issue I have is Julius's death, cause Ruby's is mostly speculation on my part, I could be wrong, but uh, Julius planned his death. He brought to kids into what was going to be an incredibly dangerous situation. And yes, he did ask them to stay out of the room, but the idea that he used them to help him accomplish this which would leave them without their one living parent while also implicating them of any potential crimes the mortals might decide had happened (which is canon) is horrible.

Arguably, We have no idea weather or not Julius planned on releasing Set, and having Carter and Sadie host Horus and Isis (though those amulet are suspicious). Personally I believe that he had some idea what was going to happen, he's not stupid, but similarly to Ruby's death he decide to take that chance anyway.

Was it for the good of the world? sure. Was it for the good of Sadie and Carter? no, absolutely not.

Even if the situation hadn't thrown Sadie and Carter head first into a deadly quest it would've have severely traumatized them. They could feel guilt for helping their dad commit a crime (especially if they had no idea what was going on) or get himself killed. It doesn't help that Sadie already had abandonment issues due to him.

But more importantly, (not to say his relationship with Sadie isn't important, but his death has a far larger impact on Carter), he left Carter with no one. Besides for maybe Amos, but not only are the two of them estranged but I can't really think that Julius would've thought Amos would take Carter in. And honestly living with the Uncle you barely remember isn't much better than living with stranger, there no one for Carter to go to.

Julius was Carter's single guardian and his only form of stability and familiarity for six years. Do I think he was a good support system of Carter during those six year? not really, but the fact that Julius was willing to throw Carter to the wolves (the government and the foster system) isn't a good sign.

so yeah, the fact that both Julius and Ruby basically went willingly and knowingly to their deaths is kind of abandoning their kids.

I wish I could say (that's a bad way to phrase this) that Julius had planned the quest to defeat Set but I kinda think that would be speculating a bit to much.

Luckily, it's basically canon that they expected Sadie and Carter to save the world so anything I might say about that isn't at all a stretch.

My biggest problem with them though is that neither of them even mentioned the idea of being magicians to Carter or Sadie. And it;'s not because they're to young, because many magicians learn what they are at a very young age.

It could've been to protect them from The House of Life, but considering how violent and uncontrolled they're magic can get with zero knowledge of it it's seems weird that they wouldn't try to teach them how to control it.

(also It was denying Carter and Sadie a large amount of knowledge about their family and even culture to some extent)

Both of the parents fully understood that Sadie and Carter would have to save the world, and yet despite that both of them died without even hinting at Sadie and Carter's abilities.

And there's a big difference between this and what many of the better parents in the Riordanverse did by trying to avoid telling their kids about their heritage. People like Sally and Natalie Chase did it with the intention of trying to protect their kids as long as possible. Sure, it didn't help but they either weren't given a chance to fully explain when the kids were old enough or tried to but it came a bit late (for reasons they couldn't control), Ruby and Julius fully understood that Carter and Sadie would be put in a lot of danger and didn't even inform them of that the gods existed.

Yeah technically most of the Riordanverse parents did that, but there is a big difference in the lives of demigods vs magicians. Telling a demigod about the greek god would also mean having to explain the fact that they being hunted down by monster, which is not something you should tell your seven year old, especially if the real danger is going to come a bit later. Magicians don't actually have a lot of danger associated with them, Carter and Sadie are sort of an exception to that. Like sure, don't tell them about the saving the world part until they're older (Not that Julius even tried) but like tell them about the magic part, my goodness.

Sadie and Carter learned all of this on a really dangerous quest, while trying to save their dad who had planned his death, and in the end they were forced to make a decision between their dad and the world. A decision they didn't really get to make because of the situation and Julius's plan had already made it for them.

Sadie and Carter were shoved into a dangerous world with arguably less help than any other Riordanverse character (excluding the MC series, cause they all died to find out about Norse gods). Like at least the demigods had a camp to go to, Carter and Sadie had a world wide society on their heels, a possessed uncle, a clay person having an identity crisis (which wasn't even over the fact she wasn't real) and a single cat goddess who was forced to ditch like half-way through the book.

Julius legit went "Hey sorry I planned on dying, why don't you almost die to try and save me even though it's useless and than find out me and your mother planned out the worst way to give you the burden of saving the world along with a bunch of responsibilities you don't want *cough* Carter wanting nothing to do with being in charge *cough*.”

I could complain that they also encouraged and helped Sadie and Carter do dangerous stuff (give them a dangerous criminal while knowing he would escape) but unfortunately that’s a common thing parents in fantasy books do.

Like, if they’re kid is already in a dangerous situation and they can’t get them out of it or the kid has to much of a guilt/ hero complex, then better they try to help their kid as much as possible to try to protect them, then forbid them from doing anything which will lead to the kid trying to do everything themselves and getting into more danger.

course the reason Carter and Sadie are in so much danger is because of their parents.

actually Ruby and Julius have a lot of similarities with the gods when it comes to parenting. Cause problems, help your kid a minimal amount after forcing them to fix the problems you caused for you.

Are Julius and Ruby bad people? No. In the end they’re doing what they think is best for the world, which no one can really blame them for that.

they simply faced the love one vs world challenge and had to choose the world.

The thing is being a bad or good person doesn’t usually have anything to do with being by a good or bad parent.

a bad person is capable of being a good parent and a good person is capable of being a bad one.

Trying to save the world does make Ruby and Julius good people, but at the expense of their kids mental, emotional, and physical health. And no matter what the reason, anyone who willingly chooses to put their kids in that type of situation, isn’t a good parent.

anyway, that was really long, so any of you that actually read that entire thing, thx for reading my over analysis.

[peachesofteal]

RAAAAAAAAH CHAPTER 13 BRO!!!!!

as always, i read it like a rabid animal, and then reread the prev 4 chapters and then reread this again HAHA

your work ages like fine wine, and i read and treasure every word of it, especially on rereads when i can make myself slow down to really take it all in <3

"He takes it all away. Every time." made me WEEP!!!!! its what she DESERVES!!!! the dependability and the escape into him and simon (simon takes charge obvs, but johnny is just as much an outlet. sweet sweet boy)

i think he also realizes that she's seeing it as escapism and starts to fall away a bit, bc of how he stops her and asks to check in. it makes me curious abt his and simon's early relationship, if he's recognizing the same pattern of behavior and comparing them.

going on with that, when she was showing them her scars, AUUUUUUGH. that hit so hard man. the “No but… they’re hideous.”

“No.” Simon croaks, voice thick. “There isn’t a single part of you that isn’t perfect.”

SIMOOOOOOOON he sees so much of himself in her. its gotta be heartbreaking, knowing she's where he used to be. he gets it fr. i cant imagine two people more suited for her, someone who's been where she is and got out, and the person who's helped get that someone out of that pit. fuck dude. you're so good at this HAHAHA

im not gonna say nothin abt the good girl stuff…. but heehee!

also also "I'm not a little human nurse" made me laugh so hard LMAO pure arizona from grey's. ive been watching it lately (started right before you started posting simple math actually) reading the hospital bits of SM, you do a really good job of capturing the same energy and stakes and work dynamics that you get watching grey's. im honestly still waiting for the other shoe to drop on the stupid attending marshall, there's always something that a shitty attending can mess up down the road lmao

the ending on this chap killed me though. they knew she was flighty, and that she's smart and capable, but its gotta be so hard to get the relief of her coming back after the day out without answering the phone, only to find the papers the next morning. in bunny's defense though, she mentioned in chapters before moving in (i think before graves hurt her?) with them that she had to start looking at outs, and these papers aren't a 2-day turnaround; she probably bought them weeks ago and only now picked them up. i could be wrong though! i think its unfortunate timing, but she also probably just wants the relief knowing that she's got the backup plan accessible. as much as she loves the boys and penny, she's still not used to having the dependability. the safety scares her, or at least gives her the idea of a false sense of security, since she's been on edge for so so long.

i give her big smooch. poor bun. poor boys, and poor penny. manifesting the worst for graves, truly, rot in hell you idiot american

i hope you're feeling better, its lovely to read your works but even better when you're doing well yourself ❤️❤️❤️

I loved reading this! I adore you.

I love how you noticed that Johnny does stop to check in. He has a very firm grip on her mental and emotional state, (it’s not his first rodeo) and he knows just how to bring her back.

The two of them + Bunny is really a dream come true even if she doesn’t realize it yet (they do) and it will take a lot of time and work on everyone’s part.

I think your notes in your last paragraph are pretty spot on, too. Bunny will talk about it more in the next two chapters but- getting a new identity is not a two day turnaround.

Also yeah, I was channeling Arizona with that line 💀 I was hoping someone would catch it!

10/10 I love your breakdowns, no notes, perfection, they always make me smile.

[sheisaquarius-blog]

hi! so I was re reading your fic reflection and noticed that it shows there will be 2 chapters 👀 are you adding another one? if so I'm super excited because I love this fic so much!!

ah!! you caught that!! also, wow, you reread it? thank you so much! yes, i've been working on a second part to it for a couple months now. admittedly, i'm stuck, but i'm trying to work through 😵‍💫. i thought it'd be fun to write a companion/follow up, so chapter two is going to be a little bit of a different flavor, but still angsty smut with a little twist. nice catch! here's a little preview (unedited, so subject to change once i actually publish it), hopefully you enjoy it, and it'll motivate me to keep going! (nothing explicit in action yet, but an nsfw discussion under the cut)

Ian raised an eyebrow. “I don’t have an exhibition kink or whatever,” he said dryly.

Anthony rolled his eyes. He was leaned against the wall of his bedroom, loose shorts and a t-shirt thrown on to avoid the post-coital chill of cooling sweat. He handed Ian one of the glasses of water in his hand, which Ian took, sitting on the edge of Anthony’s bed. 

“It’s not exhibitionism, I don’t want to do it in public or get watched by a stranger,” Anthony said.

Ian wasn’t so sure he believed that, even without the suspicious way Anthony shifted his weight and crossed one leg over the other as he leaned back against the wall, but he didn’t say anything.

“I’m not asking you that. I want to film it for us.”

Ian wasn’t sure exactly what ‘us’ Anthony was even talking about, considering the closest word he could use to describe them nowadays was fuckbuddies. Without the buddies. Fucknothings. “You know what a catastrophically bad idea that could be, right?” he said instead.

Anthony’s face twitched with annoyance, but Ian saw the undercurrent of hurt there. “You either think I’m incredibly stupid, or that I’d share. . .” Anthony didn’t finish the thought, pressing his lips together and swallowing hard.

“No,” Ian said quickly. Maybe too quickly. “No, I don’t think any of that. I just mean, what if someone gets a hold of it? What if someone, I dunno, hacks you or whatever.”

“I'm not reckless or stupid about this kind of thing,” Anthony said.

Ian chewed the inside of his cheek. It wasn’t like he hadn’t sent sexts in the past, to Anthony or otherwise. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, nothing cruel or terrible, but definitely explicit, which was risky for someone of public interest. Logically, there was nothing wrong with recording themselves, but it felt riskier with Anthony. “But it’s . . . I mean, if it gets out . . . it’s us, Anthony. You know how that’ll go.” Something in his body pinched at the word ‘us’ this time. He wondered if it was as hard for Anthony to say as it was for him. It made it sound like they were something—something in a way that mattered. And they weren’t.

Anthony sighed and shook his head. He looked surprisingly defeated. “Look, I’m not gonna ask you to do anything you don’t want to, I just wanted to know if you’d consider it. We did your mirror thing,” Anthony waved his hand vaguely towards the mirror, which he had moved into his bedroom after just the second time Ian had fucked him in front of it. “More than a few times. I just figured I’d ask.”

There was something in that sentence that made Ian’s brain itch. Anthony was asking him for something risky, something vulnerable. Ian had to know whether Anthony was asking him because he wanted it or because he wanted Ian.

“If I say no—if,” he emphasized, at the look of disappointment creeping over Anthony’s face already. “Are you going to ask someone else?”

Disappointment faded into something Ian couldn’t read as easily. “Would that matter?”