#i was gonna expand on this more but frankly these are my main talking points.

[oh-cosmia]

12, 17, 19 <3

hiiiii alex <333

12. a trope you’re really into right now

haha well im gonna interpret "right now" as something i got into recently... dragon romance (YOU KNOW). also doomed friendship/friends-to-enemies arcs. does "the banality of evil" count as a trope?

17. talk about your writing and editing process

**OUGH**

okay so uhhhh for fic specifically its like. if its a new fic or a oneshot i write down a really rough summary like, i just ramble in my word doc as if i was telling someone this outline. sometimes if i already rambled about fic ideas in someone's dm's ill just copy paste it and use that as an outline. this was basically how me and mal wrote the outline for wedding fic, and also i did this with me and liz's dms when i first drafted solo au. and then i just start writing and keep fleshing out the outline till its done.

if its a chapter in a longer or ongoing work, like db:

prewriting; i need to know what main events happen in this chapter and also what key information is dropped. in chapter 11, something big happens, the steward shows up! thats something thats gonna build up to something in future chapters, so it was necessary to introduce it now. another big thing happens, when min encounters a denizen whose suffering he was complicit in. those are the big things that Have to happen, but then also in between that i want to drop some pieces of information that will become relevant in later chapters. when i get an idea for something gay i will find a way to work it in-- like, i didn't Need to make min kabedon ryan in ch11, but i had a vision. i had a dream. i did that for ME

writing; okay so first i lay down . then at 9-11pm i write in stimuwrite and then copy it into a word document later. then i lay down some more. if im REALLY feelin wild and i get into a groove i just keep writing till i pass out at 2 or 3 am. sometimes i go to my favorite cafe if i need to Lock In. writing is just mostly cleaning up and expanding on my outline. when i know generally what the trajectory of the chapter is and what stuff i need to make happen, everything else i kind of make up on the spot, like, the car settings and denizens are based off of whatever ideas or images were interesting to me recently. if i see an opportunity for fun banter or interactions i'll just throw it in. if i think of something funny or gay i'll put it in too. idgaf

editing; most fun part. so first i lay down. then i get up and look at a random scene of the wip. i edit it a bit. then i lay down. then i review the whole thing and fix any obvious #cringe moments or typos or fucked up syntax. then i lay down. then i edit some more until i can bear to show someone else

peer review. i show my trusted friends the fruits of my labors. they tell me if the vibes are off. they leave comments on my docs and reactions that help me gauge if my intentions/tone came through the writing. also frankly showing my friends a wip is nice bc the writing process can be very lonely and its a good motivator to show people and get amped up to finish

illustration; i've probably been sketching ideas up till this point, but i usually pick scenes if they're either important enough to the plot that i want to give an extra "oomph" to the moment, or if i just really have a strong image in my brain during a scene.

publish it. lay down again. sleep for a week. start thinking abt the next chapters

[soulfullionbunny]

talked

she no longer send out msgs to me. 7 days utk hilang rasa rindu. its okay. its enough for me (not really). but its okay. shes getting better man. mEn actually cause damn all those motherfuckers flocking her. siyell tapi x pe la. pandai dia pilih. she no longer accepting me as an option anymore. she moved on. all that left for me in her is just rage, hatred, and dendam. she dont even feel safe with me in the chat lol. dia always assumed aku trying to insult or mocked her.

(actually i wanna do some maths. dia ckp dia currently ada more than 10 guy friends. and itu pun yg berjaya jadi kawan dia. so lets expand the pool. kalau dia ada 15 guys. and i would say a lot of guys talked to her. lets the qty is 3 times of 15. so 45... 45 guys talked to her. omfg plssss bodooo banyak babi. and the fact that i KNOW its more than that HAHAHAH. aint no way 45 men je in 1 year nahh. siot emo moment hahgah. damn at some point man of her dream gonna show up acapp. it wont be longgg acapp. terima takdir dia acappp. her peace kann. fuckkkk)

anyway, pandai la dia pilih. she did say dia memilih. good for her. apparently ada this one gentle older guy hit her up. hes in his 30s apparently... i think thats her best match atm sbb she liked him best apparently. she even said suka lmaoo. SUKA and the ONLY roadblock is his age OMFG.

siot actually banyak aku nak complain ni bcs wtf???? dia ada meet a guy, the sg rempit guy. fuck i need to finish the ranting drafts of that guy, aku dah lupakan dia but datang balik cam sial. pastu she video call a guy!?!?!?!? weyyy level smooth talker apa all these guys sampai boleh sampai tahap video call?? and pastu dia guna discord??? honestly pedih mat. its legit pedih cause she talked with a guy yg main valo. it pains me sbb she watch him play, thru discord. SHE. WATCH. HIM. PLAY. ffs im crying rn. fucking hell bodo benda kecik but its kinda big to me. thats my fav activity with her. i know shes moving on but goddamn x sangka to this extend. aku ni mcm dissapear langsung dlm memori dia eh? she frankly have no problem langsung doing OUR activities dgn orang lain. lol. now i wonder how our animes and stardew valley. i wonder aboutour plato and locket. i fucking HATE it here. oooo srs omg i need a run. fuck its almost 2am but i need the pain rn fuckfuckfuck who the fuck say journalling is calming. this is fucking triggering. I WAS OKAY MINUTES AGO. nononononono returning to analyse is worst. i regret this

[whiskeyworen]

Heavy spoilers: Dragonvoid Thoughts

Skip this if you haven’t beat EoD campaign yet and don’t have an idea what Dragonvoid is. I’ve just been mulling over some stuff since I beat the main campaign, and it’s raised a bunch of questions for me. Ones I don’t think I’ll ever get answered because, frankly, in terms of the game, they just don’t matter. But it matters to me from a world-building point of view. So... The idea of Dragonvoid is that pre-everything, the universe Tyria is in was essentially Void. Like, unshaped, uncontrolled matter/mass/magic, coiling itself and warping itself infinitely in a big chaotic sea of un-reality. Reminds me of the Warp. Anyway, somehow, some way, Soo-Won either ended up there, or pulled herself from the quagmire of Un-everything, and decided she didn’t like it and started to try and tame the Void. But she couldn’t handle it on her own, and so she ended up creating the other Elder Dragons we know and love/hate/fear. Between the lot of them, they pushed back/undid the Void, and laid the groundwork for stability for Tyria, so that rocks stopped floating, stuff could maintain static shapes, and all that jazz. Shit stopped exploding randomly. And at the end of the campaign, we get a hint at what things would be like if their bulwark failed. We see the world coming apart at the seams on a global scale. But this is where things get tricky and my questions come up. How far does this extend? Tyria is a single world in a universe. It’s a planet, with a sun, a moon, and if you squint at the Divinity’s Reach orrey carefully, and consider some of the constellation information from the Astralarium in Istan.... it’s not the ONLY thing in that universe. There’s stars. Constellations. The Moon. Other worlds (since those ???? psychic Mushrooms in the eerie low-grav area of Jahai Bluffs had to be ripped from somewhere alien). All stuff existing in one plane of universe, including a little blue ball called Tyria. And then there’s things like the Mists, which are side-dimensions off of Tyria’s plane of existence, which encompass things like the Mad Realm, the Godrealms, the literal Afterlife, and a few other horrific places no one likes to talk about, as well as a kind of Bleed area between dimensional universes where Alternate Tyrias fight and invade each other for continual dominance, while the locals that exist there just try to live their lives while these warmongers keep appearing and disappearing. And I’m not even gonna speculate on Fractals; they make my brain hurt too much. I just wonder... what if the Elder Dragon balance ONLY applied to Tyria-the-planet. If Tyria had fallen to Void and fallen apart/disintegrated/discombobulated/Eaten by the Warp, would that apply to ONLY that one Tyria, out of the multiversal ones in the Mists? Would the Mists themselves collapse? Or would both of those continue on unabated, barely recognizing or noticing that a particular Tyria just blipped out of existence? Would the Godrealms collapse? Or are they separate from the damage of Void, because they are in that between-worlds-realm of the Mists, island-universes in their own sea of island-universes? On a more pragmatic note, within strictly the Tyrian universe... would the Void effect expand outward, instantly, to all corners of the universe, affecting worlds that never knew the Elder Dragons, never knew the struggles in Tyria, etc? Would the neighboring worlds in the solar system suddenly experience destabilizing, or notice all the prior times when ‘Magic went fucky’ when we killed an ED? Or is the damage JUST bound to Tyria itself? Would an inhabitant of a nearby world notice a spike in odd energy, turn a telescope or satellite to track it, and see a world shrouded in distortion before it all dispersed? Or would they be wondering why reality on their world, so many billions of miles away, suddenly started coming apart like a wool sweater? Where does the influence of the ED end? I’m thinking it’s strictly planet-based, because if Tyria was one world ensnared like a bug in a spider web of galactic ley filaments that moved magical energy around...the ED would never have starved or been forced to share ‘just’ the magic that exists on Tyria. I’m thinking that, had the Void won.... yes, Tyria would have been utterly undone.... But only Tyria. And out of all the Mist multiverse Tyrias, who are all at different states of different eras of different times, both current and past and everything in between... only that one would have popped out of existence. And if Tyria is like, say, the third planet in its solar system, but there’s someone living on the 4th world or 2nd world, and was watching through a good telescope... they might just have wondered WTF was going on with the 3rd planet. Which leads to another question for another time.

[kosakashuntaro]

for some reason, i became obsessed with this irrelevant filler character from izumi tsubaki’s lesser known series, oresama teacher. he’s consistently forgotten by fans and ranked 2nd to last out of the student council members, but despite that, i still think he’s a great and well-written character. also, he’s super cute!

and so without futher ado— here’s my stupidly long lovemail/analysis of shuntaro kosaka. a pure 1.5k word ramble about my favorite boy!

kosaka first appears in chapter #43, introduced alongside the rest of the student council members. he’s in class 1-3, the same as yukioka komari. the first major scene we see him in is him having a bad relationship with fellow council member, kanon nonoguchi.

not gonna lie, i forgot this scene existed and i don’t like it since he touches her forcefully. it’s a setup for their relationship later on, though. at this point, kosaka and nonoguchi are both closed off and cold towards each other; aside from their animosity towards each other from their interactions, they have their own personal issues for not being good with interacting with others. nonoguchi has her problems with men stemming from childhood and kosaka just seems bad at understanding how to act properly with people in general.

kosaka’s main arc is the student festival arc, where he plays the villain, but honestly, he’s just cringy as fuck in it. i think it’s good in that it shows how damn extra he is, though-- imo, he’s the most realistically extra of the characters. he’s a 15 year old kid who thinks he’s smart just ‘cause he gets good test scores. of course he’s going to be that bitch who smiles sneakily and thinks of himself as the grandmaster of the chess game, even when his partner in crime, kawauchi, knew all along of his betrayal plan.

we don’t see much of his motivations or personality in the student festival arc as it focuses mainly on okegawa and kawauchi. all we know so far is that he’s smart, manipulative, and sneaky. seems like a typical bad guy.

until the last chapter of the arc, #51. for the first time, we see the previously cool (lol) and cunning kosaka shuntaro... nervously fretting over how to kneel in apology to his superior, miyabi hanabusa.

we learn that kosaka is obsessively reliant on instruction manuals, ever since his childhood. he’s ridiculously good at studying and always gets first place in tests at school. however, he can’t cope with unexpected changes at all. everything has to go exactly to plan or else he comes up with a different approach to completing the original plan, that isn’t always appropriate for the situation.

he’s perfectly confident in interacting with people-- that’s obvious enough throughout the student festival arc--, but he’s bad at interpreting things on the fly, once again, prone to saying things inappropriate to the time and place. kosaka has to do things in order, step-by-step, otherwise he can’t proceed.

a while back, there was a post that talked about him being autistic. to be honest, i never considered this earlier (as in a few years ago, when i first started liking him a lot). but reading back, he really is strongly coded as such, i think. so frankly, the reason i like him might be a more personal reason, but... anyway.

like with the other student council members, miyabi helps him relax and feel better, guiding him to be more carefree and open. i have mentioned this a few times, but i think it’s really wonderful that miyabi basically helped out a bunch of kids with mental issues when their problems might’ve looked small or stupid from the outside. this is also brought up in chapter #104 during the hayasaka arc, where mafuyu and hayasaka both contact him for information about miyabi. he basically says that miyabi got him to join the student council because he was worried about kosaka’s personality and wanted to stay near him for help. 

honestly, kosaka is probably the one who’s most grateful to miyabi (outside of nonoguchi?) simply because he recognizes his own issues. there’s a reason why he’s the only student council member whose face you can’t see during the scene where miyabi graduates; he’s the only one of the guys who cry.

kosaka’s problem is that he can’t cope with his plans going off at all, so miyabi sends him to prank mafuyu. even though he tries to get her by making many elaborate plans, he eventually learns to just attack without plan. it ends with him stuck in a ditch and miyabi unexpectedly pranking kosaka himself.

here we see kosaka’s first genuine smile. and it’s beautiful!!! he’s a sweetheart!!! i think that the story of kosaka could’ve worked even without the student festival arc, but that establishes him as an dramatic kid who’s super smart and cunning-- and here we see him just relax for once, and be truly happy.

after this, there aren’t any more kosaka focused chapters. however, he does appear once in a while, usually with the other student council members. (he’s in the very next chapter using yui’s equipment to cross the lake. but since he usually feeds the fish, they all come to him for food...)

kosaka's bad relationship with nonoguchi is reiterated in nonoguchi's arc, chapter #71 where she beats him up for saying that all girls want a prince. it's a stereotypical thing to say either way, but nonoguchi's response about "men wanting to be princelike is self-serving" is more due to her own issues rather than about kosaka in particular. anyway, this is just to highlight that at this point, they both still have their own problems and don't get along.

the next time we see him is during the school trip arc, where, although he’s still being far too overprepared by carrying too much luggage, he seems to be getting along with his class very well. kosaka organizes his class’s schedule and accommodates for changes on the fly (when his teacher wanted to stay longer to see the sea otters), even if it annoys him a bit. it’s an improvement! he’s able to assume a role where his pedantically organized personality is a benefit. mafuyu also notes that both he and ayabe have become more carefree and open with others, with kosaka becoming “the center of class 4″.

i think this chapter, #82, is also the first time kosaka talks about yukioka. since yukioka doesn’t talk to anyone aside from miyabi, he had never heard her voice despite being a close friend. there’s not really any significance to them being besties (does there need to be?), but it does show his sense of responsibility for others since he basically takes care of her. he has more scenes with yukioka in various arcs, mostly in the miyabi graduation arc where he helps protect yukioka from aki.

speaking of that arc, like the other student council members, he gets something precious to him stolen. in this case, it’s the books that he always reads. we find out that he’s actually surprisingly good at drawing from memory despite him believing he doesn’t know how to draw without instructions. this may be partially may be some juxtaposition of him truly being ‘creative’ even though his methods are so ‘academic/scientific’ (even though i don’t believe ‘drawing well’ is what ‘creativity’ is). in my opinion, this represents his progress in general. it’s probably not just art/drawing, but he’s actually gotten better at doing most things without manuals without realizing or being aware of it.

this idea is also expanded upon with the protection of yukioka i mentioned earlier. because kosaka doesn’t have his books, he doesn’t act so formal and is instead more forceful and ‘manly’, making it easier for him to communicate with classmates. by the way, kosaka’s actually popular with the girls in his class (shown in school trip arc 1-koma), but doesn’t realize it because he can’t understand things not directly stated. what a guy...

here is a short break to talk about kawauchi. i think their relationship is hilarious. from kawauchi getting him to dig holes to kawauchi stealing his math books... i feel really sorry for kosaka, but it’s so funny... he just can’t escape him. even in the very last student council saga arc, it was kawauchi behind the scenes all along...

really they’re two characters who are heavily associated with each other and yet... i don’t think kawauchi’s relationship with kosaka says anything about his personality since kosaka was such a one-bit character during the majority of the arc where they interacted (plus kawauchi is awful to everyone). all kawauchi did was give kosaka more trust issues and broke his phone. i feel kinda mean for saying this but it’s so funny how he caused kosaka to be absolutely terrified of delinquents.

honestly kosaka like... doesn’t have a reason to be associated with kawauchi beyond the student festival event. imo it’s just a way for tsubaki to make kosaka relevant or appear once in a while since the other character he’s associated with (yukioka) got a boyfriend and doesn’t appear as often (kawauchi’s common appearances is due to his surprising popularity with fans).

enough about kawauchi though, we’re finally at the end of this long and loving post. at the conclusion of the miyabi graduation arc, the very first conflict of kosaka shown is finally resolved: he’s made up with nonoguchi!

i really love this scene so much!!! i know it’s kinda just a set-up for the next joke, but tsubaki still dedicated over a page just to nonoguchi and kosaka, so it’s genuine to me! it’s so lovely to see that nonoguchi and kosaka have both resolved their own issues with the help of miyabi and the public morals club. they both acknowledge that they weren’t the best in the past, but now they can become friends... this is a relationship that’s been developing in the background of oresama teacher for over 80 chapters... it makes me so happy that tsubaki gave a resolution to it in the end. she truly does care about all her characters no matter how unpopular they are, and i love her for that.

(by the way, i just found out that this can badge released in the same year as the miyabi graduation arc. they’re so cute!)

the story of kosaka and the student council as a whole ends here. everyone’s finally improved, and they’re all happy... people say “oresama teacher has no plot”, but there’s so much to the story of the student council. if i can write so much about one minor character who rarely appears, i think there’s plenty of plot and plenty to say about the others.

that’s all i have to say on this topic for now.

actually, i started writing this back in 2019 but i forgot about it until recently. my thoughts haven’t changed, though... i hope this post shines some light on why i like kosaka and tsubaki so much. to be honest, though, i’d probably just say that he’s sooo cute and i wanna protect that sweet smile of his... my 174 cm tall son.

[geeky-politics-46]

The Asgardian Candidate

Loki/The West Wing FanFiction Crossover

Chapter 2 - “The Interview”

“Alright let's try the budget deficit question again. Your answer was fine, but simplify it. You aren't teaching an economics class. Remember, 10 words. Besides if you bore the voters to death then they can't vote for you."

Toby Ziegler explained as he coached president Jed Bartlet ahead of the first debate. As communications director he had the vital role of making sure the president was prepared for anything the moderators might throw at him.

“Ah, but if I've bored them to death then they can't vote for the other guy either. That's called playing the long game Toby." The president smiled cheekily & tapped his temple with his index finger.

Clearly the long nights of drills weren't wearing on him quite as roughly as they were on his staff.

“Besides I've never seen this guy go more than a single sentence on policy before redirecting the conversation to himself. The man's the biggest narcissist I've ever seen. Did we ever get an answer on why he wears those horns? It’s gonna look less like a debate & more like a bull fight. Leo, be sure to remind me not to wear red.”

Sam Seaborn rubbed his eyes in exhaustion & managed to cut the president off before he kept talking.

“Yeah, but see that's part of the problem Mr. President. If you start reciting policy point by point in detail you're going to appear out of touch with the average voter. They will feel like you're talking down to them." He said expanding on Toby's point.

“You gotta thread the needle here. Give them enough detail that they are confident you know what you are talking about, but succinct enough to keep the atmosphere light & engaged. Frankly a joke or two wouldn't hurt either… & no, still no answer on the horns.”

Bartlet shifted his position in front of the desk, glanceing over to Leo who gave a single nod. He took a deep breath & rubbed his brow.

“Alright guys let's take it from the top, but only once more or you’re gonna have to explain to Abby why I apparently don't need to sleep anymore."

“Not it!” Toby & Sam both exclaimed in unison. Leo rolled his eyes, sometimes he swore this was really a high school & could not possibly be how the White House actually functioned.

“Fine Mr. President, any heat you get from the first lady send it my way. What’s she gonna do spill my deepest darkest secrets? Abby’s known me long enough to know the dirt I have on her in return. Frankly I’d just opt for her to kill me instead.”

“Okay, & now that we’ve finished that trip down dark scary memory lane, it’s back to policy.” As Toby was opening his mouth to begin asking the first question the door burst open & Josh came running in with his arms in the air.

“I got it, I got it! Victory is mine! I found it! I found the thing we’ve been waiting for!” Everyone stared at Josh in surprise & confusion, Leo was finally the one who broke the silence.

"Okay first of all, no more coffee for you Josh. Second of all, what the hell are you talking about? What thing did you find?"

A proud smile appeared on Josh's face as he extended his hand towards Leo. He was holding a flash drive. “Our ace in the hole Leo. I found our ace in the hole."

Leo raised an eyebrow & took the drive from Josh. He silently read the handwritten label, Loki interview - Meet The Press, with that morning’s date written underneath it.

With tentative hope he glanced back up, meeting Josh's jubilant gaze. "Mr. President, I think we're gonna have to adjourn ahead of schedule tonight.”

——————————

"If it's Sunday, it's Meet The Press. I'm your host Chuck Todd. On today's show we are joined by Loki Laufeyson, the bombastic presidential candidate turning the institution on it's head. But what really makes this candidate tick?"

Even now watching the replay hours later Loki was still seething with rage.

That bumbling idiot of a host had dared bring up his relationship with his family. He never spoke about them for a reason. His heart still ached from his mother's death. She was the one person who had truly believed in him, & now she was gone.

His father, his adopted father, had always treated him as less than his older brother. Odin had groomed Thor for the throne. Using Loki as a mere pawn in his game to make Thor work harder to become the king Odin planned him to be. His brother was oblivious to his pain. Frankly Loki thought Thor was oblivious to most things. He was too busy trying to impress Odin to see how much his actions hurt his younger brother.

They would never be equals in the eyes of their father. Nor in the eyes of the Asgardian people. Loki was cruelly aware of that now.

That was why he had come to Midgard in the first place. To find a throne of his own or take one by force if he had to, & leave the memories of his father & brother behind.

The interview had started mundane enough. The host was painfully tedious, but Loki had discovered most of these talking heads & pundits were.

A few questions about how the campaign was going, polling numbers, & his growing following. Then of course the policy questions. Loki had discovered merely a sentence or two on the specific topic was enough to pacify most hosts & voters before switching back to his main message. That they were in dire need of a leader, & he was the one who would save them from themselves.

Then Loki began to lose his control on the interview. "Now we always see you alone on the stump. We know you are a bachelor, your devoted female following has managed to dig up that much at least."

Loki was still basking in thoughts of his future adoring female subjects when the host began to prod beneath the god’s composed facade.

"What about family? We've learned very little about your parents & your brother." The mere mention of Odin & Thor sent his blood running cold, his signature smile was swiftly replaced with a firm set scowl. Loki gathered all his strength & tried his best to charm his way out if the situation.

“Well my dear mother was sadly killed, a loss I still mourm to this day. She was truly a magnificent woman. The rest of my family is back in Asgard. It's as simple as that really." Punctuating his statement with a big winning smile to hopefully end that train of thought.

The host however continued to push. Each question chipping farther away at Loki's controlled demeanor. "Are you close with your father?... What about your brother?... Is family important to you?"

By the end of the show Loki couldn't even hear the words the host blathered. He could only hear his own pulse pounding in his head. He knew his anger was visible on his face. This public undoing of his carefully cultivated image only enraged him further.

How could such an imbecilic mortal have touched such a live wire in a god? If it weren't for the TV cameras he would have snapped the man's neck right then & there. For the time being though his revenge on the host would have to wait. He had bigger concerns at the moment.

He was now vulnerable, a soft spot had been exposed to the world & more dangerously to his competition. Loki had no doubt Bartlet's team would try to use this moment of weakness to their advantage. He no longer had the high ground in this fight, but he mentally vowed to reclaim it.

Loki was not about to let Thor & Odin be his undoing yet again.

[torispn15]

Warning long post ahead:

I have heard a lot from the news and from articles today. It can drive you crazy. So, I´m channeling my energy into explaining a couple of things about our (the US) political and economic system. It´s not perfect, as I put more emotion into this post than just straight logic. I have taken a politics 101 course and did a lot of studying and I am using basic common sense and empathy. At first I am talking about the Capitol incident and then it expands into more detail. If you don´t want to read, that´s cool. (I am not really gonna branch out into other countries on this topic. The main focus is the US) Anyways, here it is:

"A political philosophy and movement that is sceptical of authority and rejects all involuntary, coercive forms of hierarchy. Anarchism calls for the abolition of the state, which it holds to be undesirable, unnecessary, and harmful."

Does this sound like the behavior of the people that stormed the Capitol? No. It sounds like the opposite of what they want. I´ve seen a lot of news networks such as NBC, call the fascists, anarchists. That, above, is the description of anarchism.

Anarchists reject any hierarchy. They, the fascists, want government and they want Trump. So, calling them anarchists is very very not accurate.

"A form of far-right, authoritarian ultranationalism characterized by dictatorial power, forcible suppression of opposition and strong regimentation of society and of the economy. They believe that liberal democracy is obsolete and regard the complete mobilization of society under a totalitarian one-party state as necessary to prepare a nation for armed conflict and to respond effectively to economic difficulties."

Does this sound more like the behavior of the people that stormed the Capitol? Yes. It does. That is the description of fascism.

"A fascist state is led by a strong leader such as a dictator and a martial law government composed of the members of the governing fascist party to forge national unity and maintain a stable and orderly society."

Remind you of anything??

Now, read this:

"Advocates the abolition of the state, capitalism, wage labour, social hierarchies and private property (while retaining respect for personal property, along with collectively-owned items, goods and services) in favor of common ownership of the means of production and direct democracy as well as a horizontal network of workers' councils with production and consumption based on the guiding principle "From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs"."

This sounds way better than the first two, right? This is the description of anarcho-communism. Which is what I, personally, align with most.

What about this:

"An economic system based on the private ownership of the means of production and their operation for profit. Central characteristics include capital accumulation, competitive markets, a price system, private property and the recognition of property rights, voluntary exchange and wage labor. In this market economy, decision-making and investments are determined by every owner of wealth, property or production ability in capital and financial markets whereas prices and the distribution of goods and services are mainly determined by competition in goods and services markets."

This is the description of capitalism, which is what we have now. But, what you have to understand is that capitalism usually leads to fascism. Late-stage capitalism is fascism. One core idea of fascism is capitalism. Which is one of many reasons why it´s terrible. Also, you live here. You know how bad capitalism is. It´s why you can´t afford to buy medicine or go to the doctors. It´s why people die of starvation. It´s not because people don´t work hard enough. There are people who work three jobs who are still low-income individuals and families. It´s because of capitalism. It doesn´t give you any freedom. It is the opposite of freedom. In the "land of the free" we have a political and economic system that enslaves us. Think about that. Think about how much freedom you actually have.

When all of this is put into frame, what are your thoughts? What sounds like a place you want to live in?

The way we are now, the reason why most of the garbage in this country happens, you can connect that to capitalism. You can trace what happened at the Capitol today to fascism and capitalism (Which are basically the same thing).

A lot of Americans work minimum wage jobs. Minimum wage is $7.25 an hour, on average in the US. Assuming you work 40 hours a week, that equals 2,080 hours in a year. Your hourly wage of 7 dollars would end up being about $14,560 per year in salary. Even if you got $15 an hour, working 37.5 hours a week, you would still only make $29,250 a year. $15 an hour isn't enough to secure affordable housing in most US states. Nationally, someone would need to make $17.90 an hour to rent a one-bedroom apartment or $22.10 an hour to cover a two-bedroom home. In order to live comfortably, you´d have to get extra hours or a better job. Extra hours, is just slaving more of your life away to the point where it won´t matter how much money you earn. And it is very hard to get a job. Even if you go to college, you aren´t owed or guaranteed a job. You slave you life away. And none of this takes into consideration family members. None of this takes into consideration any children or people living in the household. You have to struggle all the time under capitalism.

You are in the top 1.8% of americans if you make more than 400k a year. So, no, not everyone or anyone can be rich or live nicely here. America loves to brand itself as a free country and the land of opportunity but, it has shown that is anything but. 30 million people in America, do not have health insurance. Do you know how much medical care costs without insurance? No one should struggle for basic medical care. Every human being deserves the basic necessities to stay alive. Every single one of us shouldn´t have to pay for food or water. We shouldn´t struggle to afford putting food on the table working two jobs while the millionaires and billionaires who sit on a yacht all day, who don´t earn a single cent, never have to worry about that. You wanna know how they make that money, you wanna know who gives them that money? You do. Your hard work and nights away from your family, earns them that money. That is your money. The system is set up for people like that to succeed and keep succeeding. The rich keep getting richer while you stay the same or even lose money. Does that sound fair or just to you? Life isn´t fair, no, but this isn´t life. This is a man-made system that we can fix. We built this and we can tear it down.

So stop being a bootlicker and sucking off capitalism just because there´s a small chance that, maybe, you will get rich. If you´re black in America, you have a 15.1% lower chance of becoming a millionaire than a white person in America. If you are white or asian with a college education, you have around a 20% chance of being a millionaire. But, if you can´t afford college, and you only have a high school diploma, your chances drop to a 2% chance. And most people who are rich in this country didn´t start out with a start-up company and worked hard. No. No. The majority of millionaires and billionaires did either one of these things or all of them:

⬤ Got lucky. By means of gambling, lottery, ⋆cough⋆ making a sex tape and it getting traction ⋆cough⋆...... things like that.

⬤ Scamming someone. By means of ponzi scheme, pyramid scheme, advance-fee scam, credit fraud, identity theft... things of that nature.

⬤ Other illegal shit. By means of embezzlement, hacking, robbing, selling counterfit goods (which can also fall into the scamming someone section), etc... you get the point.

And that doesn´t include being born into money and not paying any taxes as well. It usually doesn´t have shit to do with working hard. If working hard made you a millionaire, a hell of a lot more people would be rich af.

There´s also a lot more factors and circumstances to take into account. Even if I had time to explain, I probably couldn´t because, well, frankly, it´s impossible to go into every factor or circumstance especially since, I couldn´t possibly know every single one. This is a very basic and general post and I tried my best to explain some stuff. (some of the figures and percentages might be off by a percent ot two but, that´s easily searchable)

I do encourage researching, actual research. Because I, nor, anyone on this app are the authority for any topic. Never take anyone´s word for anything, especially not on this app of of all places. Please study and research. When you research, it is very important to check out the websites and sources for too much bias and make sure to fact check, such as comparing it to other websites and sources. Or maybe you could read different books about economics or politics and things of that nature. But, even for books, always fact check and check for too much bias. You can easily fall into traps if you don´t. I just started listening to an audio book titled: Anarchism and Other Essays by Emma Goldman. I am trying to learn more about anarchism and other political philosophies as well. I am most certaintly not a "political person" but, I do love to learn and I do love human beings and believe that human beings deserve basic rights which makes me interested in learning about different ways to improve our way of life.

So... that´s it.... I hope y´all have a goodnight/evening/morning! 💛

[icedmo]

Oh, i finally caught up with the chihayafuru manga yesterday so i’ll be talking about it here! Keep scrolling lol i’m just talking to myself.

Tl;dr? Peak fiction. Please, please watch and read it.

More detailed thoughts?

The most striking thing about chihayafuru is the love flowing out of the pages and screen; the way you can tell how much love has been poured into this series, how much love has been put into these characters, into every page, into each sentence - dialogue or simple text. I can’t tell you how rare it is to get this feeling whilst consuming media. It’s just so clear how much love this has been crafted with. Beyond compelling, really.

It’s the way chihayafuru isn’t afraid of making it’s characters lose. It’s the way chihayafuru makes it’s characters lose right when they’ve been set up to win, when any other series would give them the win, when you’re so hyped only to be met with a loss. Again to my first point, how much love has been poured into these characters and plot. It’s bold, it’s great. It’s realistic. Chihayafuru isn’t afraid at all to make it’s main cast, specifically Chihaya, lose.

And to talk about character growth in chihayafuru... characters like Shinobu and Arata, initially presented at the top of their lot, almost god like. Untouchable. Already honed to perfection, you look at them and go ‘how is it possible for them to grow?’ They exclude the energy of ever stable characters, unmoving finish lines. That’s how you view them. But then chihayafuru excels beyond your expectations. Genuinely, it would’ve worked fine to keep these characters as those near-deities, but it doesn’t. Chiahyafuru makes characters first painted as perfection grow and its amazing how it manages this.

Seriously, it’s such a simple concept, but it’s mind boggling. The writing in chihayafuru is simply top notch and i’m here repeating myself about the love poured into all it’s characters so evident. Shinobu and Arata’s growth wouldn’t have been possible if there wasn’t so much love poured into them. Example, Arata’s strength coming from how he always visualised himself playing in his old apartment, playing karuta with Taichi and Chihaya. That strength turned into a weakness, almost. Something that actually prevented his growth. And Shinobu? I could talk about her all day. But I won’t, because it’s 4am, and if you’ve read chihayafuru i am certain you know how amazing of a character she is, LOL.

Character growth, character growth... can i mention Chihaya and Inokuma’s first match? I genuinely was blown away watching it, jaw on the ground. The way it so clearly showed how much Chihaya grown, putting all her development on full blast, on full display. It was so amazing, i can’t even explain it. I mean, during season one you saw Chihaya as some amazing player - but whilst watching her play Inokuma you can’t help but think that season one Chihaya, who you previously saw as amazing, was... so weak, so unrefined. The match was short yet was such an amazing accumulation of all her development and showcasing it to you. No - Inokuma isn’t weak, not one bit. Chihaya is just stronger, she’s amazing, she’s worked so hard and you’ve watched her get to this point.

Chihayafuru being about a sport where gender and age don’t matter does so, so much for it. It has something any other shounen or sports series could never reach thematically. Harada-sensei, Inokuma, Sakurazawa-san.... the thematic game age-wise is phenomenal. Sure, objectively you may reach your peak as a young adult. But is it really that simple? No. Once you start aging you don’t just roll over and succumb to being a worker slave, focus on your kids. Only you get to decide when you’re our of your “prime.” It’s inspiring, seriously. How it shows your life isn’t going to end when you reach 30, you can indulge in niche hobbies. It’s something so simple, but it’s just such a great and rare message.

Scrap that, the entire thematic game is amazing. Strength is being free, age doesn’t limit your passion, you have to do what you don’t want in order to do what you do want. Keeping feelings inside is detrimental, hurting is inevitable. Understand the deeper meanings to everything around you, it’ll expand your world-view. When you’re lost, build something up - humans strive on a sense of purpose.

God, and can I talk about the feel of the series in general? How flowery it is, it’s so shoujou-y, LOL, but it can be so, so gorgeous at times.

Yup? Yup. Exactly.

Chihayafuru is so unbelievably stunning. It’s use of visuals to tell a story is completely top notch, what do i say. Pitch black karuta cards? Snow? Flowers? Barren wastelands, dreamscapes? It’s a beautiful series. So striking visually. And the poems, the poems... how Chihayafuru connects them to situations is superb, a prime example being after Chihaya rejects Taichi, he leaves the club, she breaks down in front of Fukasaku-sensei in the hallway and Chihaya talks about how she was the rock breaking apart all of Taichi’s built up emotions this entire time. It was amazing. And don’t even get me started on some of Kana’s monologues.

The pacing in Chihayafuru is snappy, but it’s so well done. It doesn’t feel lacklustre, but it doesn’t stall. This is thanks to how much development happens during matches - and can i mention quickly how well it develops a multitude of characters simultaneously? Again, how much love is in every nook and cranny of this series.

I’m gonna cut it off here since i don’t know how to include an ‘under the cut’ so i had to torment all 100 of my followers who, frankly, do not care, to scrolling through this utter wall of text.

Overall, i don’t have a preference between taichihaya and chihayarata - if anything, whilst i was first watching i couldn’t help but think about how strongly they were set up as a poly relationship? (Obviously my personal view, but if you were to watch it thinking about them as an ot3 it makes so much sense.)

I gotta say.... my favourite ship is sumire x kana 🥺 i just think they could be something so soft....! Shinobu x chihaya is amazing too, like c’mon... the whole ‘i’ve been dreaming of shinobu-chan’, their blatant, blatant yearning, shinobu never being showed to have interest in anybody apart from chihaya and momo-chan (arata obviously as strictly a rival, sensei has teased or set up nothing romantically between them.) i’d like to say my favourite character is chihaya but i have formed a very? Odd attachment to Rion which came out of... nowhere? LMAO. I adore sumire too. Wow this got long and it very messy and i have so so so much more to say but i simply.... peak fiction.... that’s all...

[lordeasriel]

I really care about your opinion, how do you feel about the bbc show and the way it's going?

I feel like before I give my take, I need to say that I understand the show is its own thing, and while I do wish they did a better job adapting certain things, I understand that sometimes there is a need for radical change or cut, especially when your budget is not super high (which HDM does have a lot of money into it, still is not a super big budget production, so they have to worry about these things). And I do enjoy many things about the show, but my overall vibe is mixed, to be honest. I’m stating this now because people often question whether I like the show or not, becaus I do criticise it a lot, and I simply have a critic view of the things I like, which is why I discuss them a lot and it can be overwhelming.

My main issues with the show are these 3 things: (which I’ll put under the cut because this got a bit longer than I wanted to lmao sorry)

Lack of worldbuilding and loose lore: I’ve been talking about this since day one, and this mostly applies to season 1 because I can’t judge season 2 yet because it’s not fully aired yet, but the show suffers from lack of worldbuilding, especially in Lyra’s world, which is the world that sets everything in motion. I still dislike the fact they introduced Will mid-NL, I don’t think he needed all those episodes to establish something that easily could’ve been done in S2 and because they gave TSK a lot of time, other parts of Lyra’s world suffered considerably, mainly the witches and the Magisterium.

The show doesn’t really expand on those two groups, especially, and I think that’s not good, especially the Magisterium (which they have over simplified by making it one big baddie, or so it seems at least, not to mention that implying a single leader for them practically ruins Marcel Delamare’s arc in TBOD and I’m very mad about that lmao). A lot of the Magisterium plot has that infighting aspect, which creates tension on their side as well as against their enemies, but the show doesn’t really explore that or the nuances of the Church, and they also don’t explore how varied the witches are, and I feel like this is a serious mistake. (The portrayal of the witches is by far my least favourite thing in the show, if I’m being honest).

Dull parallel world (and lack of daemons): this ties a bit with the worldbuilding aspect, but this is mainly about design choices. I think the show doesn’t make Lyra’s world as unique as it should be. On its own the world looks pretty and the outfits of most of the cast are great, but when you realise that Will’s world is intertwined with that, you don’t really feel like these two worlds are vastly different.

There is an odd situation in which Marisa’s fashion feels 30s/40s, but most of the men from her social circle (not fair to compare with the gyptians) just wear plain suits and they look much more modern. And while I get that they went for a timeless vibes, with different eras and styles, Lyra’s world feels like a caricature and it doesn’t feel believable. The colour palette is mostly the same for both worlds (even in s2, it’s hard to tell much of the difference because either the scenes are indoors or at night.) This, paired with the lack of daemons (which has been discussed many times in the fandom) kinda bums me out.

Marisa’s oversimplification: I’m mentioning Marisa, specifically, because she is the one that suffers the most due to this writing issues, but other characters like Lord Asriel, MacPhail, the general collective of the Witches, they all suffer from the writing trying to take away the nuances of them and make them flatter than in the book. Marisa is the worst because without her complexity and her flaws, she simply gets dull and boring and flavourless, and it’s kinda what has been happening in the show in my opinion. All she does is weep and she has no strength that doesn’t rely on a random fit of rage that dies out and she gets upset. There’s some great moments, like when she mimics the Monkey, but most of the time she’s just a shadow of who she is supposed to be.

The show tries really hard to make her a Scorned Mother - right from the get go, they try to makes us see how she wants Lyra, how she struggles with her “bad nature” and how that affects their relationship. There is this lingering implication that Lyra was taken from her against her wishes; they make it seem like being a mother to Lyra is her driving force, the only reason why she seeks power and influence. And that is the opposite of Book! Marisa, who is a force of nature, ruthless and ambitious, with not an ounce of maternal instinct.

She does eventually decide to help Lyra, instead of harming her, but even that action comes from a narcisistic place: Lyra is to her a possession, something that belongs to her, and that she wants to preserve. The show just handles her badly, falling into overused, boring tropes that struck far from the book version.

These are usually my main complaints about the show, and they upset me every episode to the point I’m practically ignoring them now lmao The show does a lot of good things too, making Will less of a prick, restoring Lyra’s personality from the first book into S2 Lyra (so far, please keep it that way), Mary is looking great too. They have mostly a great cast, and they did improve the daemons this season (except uh, there are far less daemons to show because of the other worlds - and the Ruta Skadi daemon change pisses me off tbh).

They do have a lot of interest in the show, but the writing (the main issue to me) feels clunky and childish, with the show toning down most of the themes that make His Dark Materials so special, especially to me (which frankly I expected them to do, but it still stings a bit). They make the Magisterium a single bad entity that feels more Authoritarian-Fascist, than a theocracy (even if they sneak in the religious symbols and rituals and garments, it’s just not a good portrayal, it’s very tame and shy); and they try to justify Marisa’s actions (especially in current interviews, there’s lots of talk about how her background will play in the show to “explain why she is the way she is”). The fact the Magisterium is portrayed as pure evil makes it looks less familiar than it should be, and therefore they don’t look scary, they seem like a caricature, a joke.

A lot of the essence of the characters get lost, and the core message of the story too, like when Iorek and the Gyptians tell Lyra she can be one of them, to support her lack of “proper family”, when that is the opposite of the books message. It doesn’t make sense for them to change that, other than maybe Jack Thorne wanted to because it makes the story feels less hopeless, but it’s why he fails to adapt these character - he doesn’t capture the essence, he tries to write these character with gaps in them.

However, the thing that annoys me the most is how they portray Asriel. It’s just... it’s bad. Really bad, which is a shame cause James is talented as fuck, but he had little time to film for season 1, and then they portrayed him very poorly. That scene when he addresses Roger in episode 7 is ridiculous, Asriel would never behave that way; there was relief in him finding Roger was there too, yes, but not to that extent and not in such a cringe way. Asriel is not deranged or irrational, he is a man on a mission, and Roger was a tool (there is no pleasure in Asriel taking his life and no excuses - it needed to be done and he did it); they just needed him to sound creepy in the show for whatever reason.

I hated how they handled the bridge scene for Asriel, Lyra and Marisa, but that’s long and complicated for me to explain here. In S2, there has been some mentions of him so far, including the implication he might have ruined Cittàgazze himself and I frankly don’t understand where did they get that idea. But the cherry on the top was Thorold telling Marisa that Asriel was gonna kill Lyra and that’s just-- that’s so dumb. That’s genuinely dumb writing, because Thorold knows Lyra followed Asriel to the mountain, and while I do believe Asriel would have killed Lyra if Roger wasn’t there, there is no way Thorold should know or consider that Asriel was gonna hurt Lyra, because Roger was there. In fact, Thorold’s interactions with Asriel in episode 8 already disprove this, so either Thorold was lying in S2 for the sake of, I don’t know, chaos or whatever, or the person who wrote this was a five-star, solid gold, fucking moron.

I’m not gonna mention the lost episode because that was no one’s fault, but the fact that they discarded an episode that all information we have on imply that it was important to set up the backstory of the angels and the city, it’s... concerning. It means they wrote something parallel that should’ve been woven into the season.

The truth is, I still watch the show on Sundays, and I still like some stuff they do (especially Mary’s stuff, so far), and despite me slandering the show per your request anon lol (cause unfortunately my honest opinion is mixed, I just don’t try to overfocus on the negative on Tumblr, I mostly talk about it on discord or private), I do think anyone who has read the books should watch the show.

For me, personally, everything I love about HDM is barely on the show - complex characters, the philosophy, the oppression by religion, the interesting world - and the vibe I get is that they’re adapting a coming-of-age love story, which is the last and - being fully honest - the least important message these books give us, but unfortunately they were set to making a family show from the start, and my expectations were high and unmatched, and a family is what we’re getting: toned down, cute, pretty visuals and soulless (heh, pun intended), philosophically speaking. I expect a certain pattern going into S3, but I always like to hold out hope that they will hire better writers (apparently Jack Thorne already wrote 4 scripts, so there you go lmao), and try to give HDM the adaptation it deserves. The truth is, if you’re a picky, canon reliant person like I am, the show might be a struggle, but if you just like the story for the teen romance, or if you don’t care about overthinking a show/book, then most people can have a good time with it.

[tes-trash-blog]

So, uh, a while back you mentioned making a post about how Prisoner McNord might affect the player experience/perceptions of the "default" and I would be super interested in reading that

So!

I have a few thoughts already on what is considered “default” in Skyrim to be expanded upon in a future shitstorm rant (it’s on the list, between Almalexia Is Interesting Actually and Even More Crying About Snow Elves Part 17: My Tears Have Become Sentient And Are Also Crying).

And as always, keep in mind that Skyrim is coming up on 9 years old, elements of it have not aged well, and this is in no way, shape, or form meant to be a “If you like Skyrim then you’re Bad” rant. In case you haven’t noticed, I kind of love that game. It has flaws; all games do, and frankly it’s a miracle this game is as solid as it is. The writers are that, writers. They had deadlines to make, hardware limitations to consider, and above all else, worked for a company that wanted to make money.

To keep this relatively short I’ll focus on how your perception of Skyrim is influenced by the first few minutes of the game via Ralof, the Nordiest Nord to Nord since Ysgranord, and how the writers really, really really wanted you to hold on to that perception.

Overanalysis and spoilers (Metal Gear Solid, Borderlands, and Bioshock respectively yes this will all make sense in context) under the cut.

Part 1: How To Make A Perspective In Three Easy Steps

As the saying goes, first impressions are lasting impressions. This is evident in.. well, every bit of media you can find. The first chapters of a book, the first episode of a show, the first 15 minutes of a video game, all as a general rule:

1.) Introduces the setting, a part of the main plot, and with these two, sets the tone of the medium (high fantasy movie, light hearted TV show, mystery series, horror game, etc.). Exceptions exist, especially in horrors, mysteries, and certain visual novels, but even these exceptions rely on setting a tone so they can subvert your expectations later on.

2.) Give you an idea of what is going on. This is normally accomplished with exposition of some sort; Star Wars had its famous screen crawl expositing the dark times in the Galaxy, Borderlands literally begins with “So, you want to hear a story..”, Metal Gear Solid briefs Solid Snake (you, the player character) on a vital mission to save two hostages and end a terrorist threat, so on and so forth. And again, there are exceptions: Bioshock purposefully disorients you with a plane crash in the middle of the ocean so you’re inclined to trust the first person who talks to you.

This all serves to suspend disbelief, immerse you, and earn your trust. This is a new world, you have no idea what’s going on, so you’re gonna take cues from someone who does. Combine points 1 and 2, and that..

3.) Gives you an idea of what is “good” and what is “bad”. Damn near every story has a central conflict, you gotta pick a side, and there’s gonna be a bias as to which one is superior or morally just. Using Bioshock again, this mysterious man named Atlas guides you through the first level, and tells you how to fight and survive in the hostile environment of Rapture; meanwhile, Andrew Ryan taunts and belittles you, and also has a giant golden bust of himself. The shorthand is: Atlas is humble, helpful, and good, while Andrew Ryan is a megalomaniac who wants you dead. Leaning on Borderlands again, the first voice you hear is literally a guardian angel telling you not to be afraid, and that you are destined to do great things. Once more with Metal Gear: Your organization and your commanders are good, you are good because you’re saving innocent people, and FOXHOUND is bad because they’re terrorists who have the means to launch a nuclear warhead.

Keeping all this in mind, let’s do a quick runthrough of the first, let’s call it 15 minutes of Skyrim. No commentary on my end, just a play by play of the beginning of the game.

Part 2: First Impressions In Action

You wake up on a cart. Your vision is hazy, and you are clearly disoriented. You see a man bound and gagged, another man in rags, and several men dressed like soldiers. Everyone on the cart is tied up, and the people driving the cart are wearing a neat, vastly different uniform.

Then comes the famous line: “You! You’re finally awake! You were caught trying to cross the border, got caught in that Imperial ambush same as us, and that thief over there!” The thief bitterly remarks how these damn Stormcloaks had to cook up trouble in a nice and lazy Empire. The Nord who first spoke with you nobly says that we’re all brothers and sisters in these binds.

The presumed Imperial tells you all to shut up. Undeterred, the thief and the Stormcloak provide more exposition: The gagged man is the leader of the resistance, is supposedly the true High King, and since he’s on the cart, it’s clear that everyone on board is bound for the executioner’s block. The thief is terrified; the Nord accepts his fate, but takes a moment to opine on better days when he flirted with girls and “when the Imperial walls made him feel safe.” There is also a remark about General Tulius and the Thalmor agents; the Nord, in a rare bit of anger, damns the Elves and insinuates they had a hand in this capture.

It’s execution time. General Tulius gives a speech about how Ulfric started a civil war and killed the former High King; Ulfric, being gagged, cannot say a word in defense. A Stormcloak is executed to mixed reactions (“You Imperial bastards!” “Justice!”, etc.). The thief runs away; he is shot by Imperial archers, demonstrating the futility of escape. It’s your turn. The Nord in Imperial armor states you’re not on the list; the Imperial captain doesn’t care and orders you to the block anyway.

You see the headsman’s axe rise up when, as if the gods intervene, a dragon appears and interrupts your execution. In the chaos, you run with the Stormcloaks. The game does not give you the option to run away alone, or with the Imperials; until you meet Hadvar again in the fire and death, you take orders from Ulfric.

Part 3: The Crux

A lot happens in the first few minutes of Skyrim. You’re disoriented from being unconscious, and that’s compounded by your two near death experiences (point 2), the first person you meet is a calm, almost reassuring mouthpiece of exposition while the other side, at best, doesn’t care if you die (points 2 and 3), one major aspect of the plot is revealed (point 1, and the tone is that this is a classic Rebellion story).

And people love rebellion stories. Americans especially; we spend billions on the day when a bunch of white guys said “fuck you” to a bunch of other white guys. With the additional layer of when Skyrim was developed, by who, and in what landscape it was written.. Yeah. There may be two ways to go for the Civil War questline, but for most players (myself included!) their first gut instinct is going to be “side with the guys who didn’t just try to kill me.”

It’s the same song and dance. In Bioshock, your instinct is to trust the Irish guy who wants to help you get out of Rapture alive, but he needs your help first. In Borderlands, your instinct is to trust the woman who is literally called a guardian angel, and she shows her compassion by asking you to help the people of Fyrestone and the poor robot who got hurt in a gunfight. In Metal Gear, your instinct is to shut down the threat because terrorists are evil and these ones are not just terrorists, they’re deserters. Hell, even in other Elder Scrolls games the plot is laid out by helping hands: you’re a prisoner being contacted by your murdered friend, and given the goal to stop Jagar Tharn (Arena), you’re a Blades agent tasked with putting a vengeful spirit to rest that leads you to a weapon that can secure the Empire’s power (Daggerfall), Azura literally tells you not to be afraid, and that you destined to stop an old threat (Morrowind), and a soon-to-be-assassinated Emperor voiced by Actual Grandpa Patrick Stewart recognizes you in a prophetic dream (Oblivion).

Where Skyrim departs from these games, and even the other Elder Scrolls titles, is how much it enforces the first thing you see as solidly good and evil, and how little it tries to subvert that perception. Remember point 2, when the game makes it clear that this person is trustworthy? Therein lies the bread and butter of psychological horror, mysteries, and heart wrenching plot twists: that trust gets tested, and often broken.

The rebel leader Atlas? He’s somehow more evil than Andrew Ryan, and has subtly controlled you the entire time with a command phrase (“Would you kindly..?”). You are unable to stop yourself when you bludgeon Andrew Ryan to death at Ryan’s command. “A man chooses,” he tells you. “A slave obeys.” His final words are him telling you that you are a puppet, only able to obey.

The end of Borderlands reveals that “Angel” was watching you the entire time.. from a Hyperion satellite. You were tricked into opening a Vault holding back a dangerous monster, and you don’t even know why. Borderlands 2 goes further into just what (or rather who) Angel is: a teenage girl and a powerful Siren, used by her own demented, evil, father, Handsome Jack, to manipulate the Vault Hunters and gain more power for himself. Her final mission given to you is simple: she wants you to set her free and end her father’s mad march to power by killing her.

Metal Gear Solid ultimately plays it straight in that you stop the terrorists and disable the nuclear threat, but you don’t emerge from the rubble as an action hero; you’re forced to kill your own brother, the terrorist cell is revealed to be composed almost entirely of people exploited by your organization, and you secretly carry  a virus designed to kill the people you were trying to save. War, as it turns out, is not as clear-cut as “we good, they bad”. The people you’ve killed without thinking are your genetic brothers. Sniper Wolf, the assassin who shot your commander’s niece, survived a genocide and has never known a life outside of war. Psycho Mantis’ telepathic gifts were exploited by both the KGB and FBI until he lost his mind. Ocelot is Ocelot.

Oh, but those are other games. What about The Elder Scrolls? Well..

In Daggerfall, your search for hidden correspondence leads you to finding the Mantella, a sort of soul gem that can power the superweapon everyone wants: The Numidium. There are six entities total who want the Mantella, some for their personal gain, one to make a home for his people, and one so he may finally die; the Underking’s soul is in that gem, you see, and he’s been trapped in this misery since the days of Tiber Septim.

In Morrowind, Dagoth Ur recognizes you not as a schlub with a dummy thick journal, but as his oldest and dearest friend. The Empire who guided you for so long? They’ve manipulated you into taking down the Tribunal, destroying the one weapon that could stand against their might, and depending on your interpretation of “then the Nerevarine sailed to Akavir”, have possibly killed you.

And what of everyone’s favorite game in the series to mock? Surprise! Oblivion isn’t even about you, hero! It’s about the actual chosen one, Martin Septim! Sure you can join the Thieves’ Guild and cavort about as Grey Fox, or uncover the traitor of the Dark Brotherhood, or run off and become the Mad God.. but none of those events actually acknowledge you. To be the Grey Fox is to literally be forgotten, by the time the Dark Brotherhood questline is complete there is effectively no more Dark Brotherhood, and to become Sheogorath is to lose yourself entirely. The Hero of Kvatch is one who is ultimately forgotten. Your actions were important, have no doubt, but such is the fate of the unsung hero: they’re not sung about.

Even Arena plays a little bit with your expectations in that the Staff of Chaos alone isn’t enough to stop Jagar Tharn; you need friendship (just kidding it’s a magic gem in the Imperial Palace). Skyrim.. kinda glosses over that. They land a few punches, but for them to stay with you, you have to keep an open mind.

Part 4: Why does that matter?

Because if your expectations are never subverted, your trust never tried in any meaningful way, then your perception of a very specific, spoon-fed worldview is never challenged. The trust you build with a group that is, in essence, a fascist paramilitary cult is never shaken in any way that’s meaningful. You get some lines intended to evoke sadness when you sack Whiterun, but by then it’s too late. Not that it matters; at the end of the Stormcloak questline, there’s not much question about who was in the right. You never lose friends or allies; the Jarls in the holds change, but is there much difference between Idgrod Ravencrone and Sorli the Builder? You might feel a little guilty when you see the Dunmer forced to live in the slums, but then the haughty High Elf says that she didn’t laze around and instead made a name for herself, or the Dark Elf farmer who complains about his snowflake kinsmen harping on about “injustices”. The Argonians seem decent until you meet the skooma addict/thief, and the Khajiit.. let’s just say that even if we disregard the two Khajiit assassins sent to kill you, there exist a lot of extremely harmful stereotypes that none of your friends dispel. They commit no horrific war crimes in your presence, the worst you hear is a Nord (normally a bandit) yell “Skyrim is for the Nords!”, or the clumsy Welcome to Winterhold script where a Dunmer woman is harassed by two Nords; one’s a veteran, by the way. Got run through the chest by an Imperial craven, or so the story goes.

Your only chance to rattle the Nord-driven story is to go against your gut feeling and side with the Imperials (the plotline is pretty weak, not gonna lie), or complete the optional quest No One Escapes Cindha Mine where you see what a Stormcloak sympathizer does to the Forsworn. Even if you complete that quest, the Forsworn still attack you. “They’re savages,” say the Nords, and the game isn’t too inclined to say otherwise.

When it comes to portraying the Nords in any light that’s not negative, Skyrim doesn’t deliver like it did in other games. You saw what life is like in Morrowind under Tribunal rule; it’s not great. The Houses are almost universally awful and they have slaves. You see the destruction in Cyrodiil and hear the rumors on how much the Empire is flailing with the Oblivion Crisis. Hell, even Arena tells you that life in Tamriel kind of sucks, but it’ll suck a little less when Tharn is dead.

That doesn’t happen in Skyrim. You are encouraged to join the sympathetic Stormcloaks, you find out your destiny as Dragonborn, and you set all these things right. Of course you do. You’re a hero, baby. Others have gone on about how storybook the Dragonborn questline is so I won’t go too much in, but that’s it exactly: Storybook. You’re Neutral Good. You’re going to kill the bad dragon that wants to do its job and eat the world. 

And that refusal to really examine the nuances and horrors of war, to consider what it means to be a hero that is never morally challenged or forced into a Total Perspective Vortex, to never challenge an extremely biased perspective or even explore its “logical” conclusion?

It leads to extremely dangerous ways of thinking if unchecked.

[violentviolette]

So I was on your fandom blog and I saw that you believe Bakugou (at least in assuming) to have ASPD. Is wondering if you could expand on that? I personally see him as NPD but I'd love to hear your side of things

first off anon bless u for being on my fandom blog that takes courage cause it’s a wicked hot mess over there lol and secondly to everyone else yes im about to spend an embarrassing amount of effort overanalyzing an anime man, no u shouldn’t apply this logic to diagnosing real people u don’t know or urself, no its not that deep but yes u can fuck right off if u wanna cry about me headcanoning ur favs with “shitty” illnesses. eat my dick.

But now down to the good shit! So I actually think bakugou has comorbid aspd/npd. But for this since u said u already see him as having npd I’ll just focus on the aspd criteria but im totally down to talk more about npd as well if u wanna. (the rest is under a cut because frankly mobile users would have drawn and quartered me otherwise)

So first im gonna go thru the dsm v criteria that are required for diagnosis that bakugou fits/exhibits (leaving out the few things that don’t pertain to him just for length and also because not every person has to fit every single criteria to qualify)

1. Significant impairments in personality as manifested by

a. identity (self esteem derived from power, pleasure, or personal gain), self direction (goal setting based on personal gratification, absence of prosocial standards and culturally normal ethical behavior)

katsukis entire sense of self is built upon his ability to “win” and to always be number one and come out on top. He absolutely cant stand to be viewed as less than that because if so, his entire sense of self begins to crumble. Part of the reason he’s so antagonistic towards Izuku in the early chapters is the fact that Izuku challenges that identity. He (unintentionally and intentionally) challenges katsuki and wont give way to him (which is the right thing to do, but we see how “well” katsuki handles that). He also doesn’t have a good sense of “prosocial standards.” katsuki has created his own internal sense of morals and values, he’s decided whats worth his time and effort based on his own opinions and not on what society deems worthwhile behavior. He’s constantly getting admonished that his attitude “isn’t that of a hero” because his values are different than the ones of the society around him. But he doesn’t care, as long as he “wins” then everythings good. And its not until he stops “winning” and his behavior begins to get in the way of his goals does he begin to realize that he has a problem.

b. impairments in interpersonal functioning as manifested by lack of empathy (lack of concern for feelings, needs, or suffering of others) and lack of intimacy (incapacity for mutually intimate relationships, use of dominance or intimidation to control others)

I could frankly write a whole essay about just this bit alone but I’ll try to condense my thoughts. So. Lets talk about katsukis lack of empathy. This boy wouldn’t know another person’s emotions if they walked up and punched him in the face. Which they do. On multiple occasions. But I digress. Katsuki is known for his shitty bedside manner, his lack of concern for the feelings of others is literally what cost him his provisional license, but aside from with Izuku (who we’ve established is a source of Baggage for katsuki and shouldn’t be counted among his normal behavior because at the start of the series they BOTH bring out the worst in one another and overcoming that is part of both of their character arcs and growth and a main theme of the damn story. Win and save. Save and win. Ahem. But again I digress) katsuki isn’t vindictive or cruel in an unnecessary way about other peoples emotions. He doesn’t use them against people, it just doesn’t occur to him that they exist. But as we see katsuki grow and begin to try and change his unhealthy behavior, we see that he’s not oblivious of others emotions in the same way todoroki is (who I headcanon as autistic along with izuku (who also has adhd), but that’s a whole nother post lol), he just doesn’t know what to do with them. He can handle things like kirishima feeling insecure, because he can logically talk to him about how strong he is to encourage and support him, but really struggles with more intimate and open forms of emotional support, like with Izuku.

He also struggles with forming prosocial bonds and friends. At the start of the series katsuki doesn’t have friends, he has lackeys he controls with intimidation and fear because he doesn’t know any other way to be. He has trust and intimacy issues and doesn’t like people getting too close to him because he feels displays of vulnerability are what makes someone weak (see those asocial morals and values we talked about earlier). After his time at UA, a few large helpings of some humble pie, and the diligent and hard work of a small group of fearless idiots (aka kaminari whose literally too prosocial for his own good and has zero self preservation instincts, and kirishima who has an endless supply of patience and understands empathy and other peoples emotions to a degree that’s baffling to me) he is able to start deconstructing that idea and realizing that u can be vulnerable and let people close to u and still be strong. That the mortifying ordeal of being known isn’t actually the worst things ever. Also that when confronted with people who aren’t actually afraid of him, he doesn’t know how else to deter them from getting close to him. The fact that none of the other kids in 1-A take katsukis shit and even go so far as to pick on him and mock him and call him out on his bullshit is a MAJOR turning point for his socialization skills.

2. pathological personality traits in the following catagories

a. antagonism, characterized by hostility (persistent and frequent angry feelings, anger or irritability in response to minor slights or insults, nasty mean vengeful behavior), callousness (lack of concern for the feelings and problems of others)

I mean. Do I even have to expand on this point? I feel like no

b. disinhibition, characterized by impulsivity (acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli, acting without a plan or consideration for outcomes, difficulty establishing and following plans), risk taking (lack of concern for ones limitations and denial of the reality of personal danger, engaging in potentially risky and self-damaging activities without regard for consequences)

this is a criteria where u have to adjust for the world these characters are living in. but even then, by hero standards, katsuki is still impulsive. His teachers are constantly admonishing him in the early series for charging headfirst into a situation, loosing himself to his emotions and anger, and letting things get the better of him because hes not taking the time to properly assess the situation, this also bleeds into katsukis inability to work with others or ask for help. He charges headfirst into a situation by himself, blows up anything in his way, and then asks questions later. His teammates are often left totally in the dark to his plans, motives, or other moves and have to just play catch up to him the entire time. In the deku vs. kacchan 1 fight we see this behavior come out in full force. He has no plan, he blows up half the building with zero regard for their goals, and leaves iida completely in the dark. Momo pointing this all out and dragging him for filth during the recap is another wakeup moment for him, having to confront the realities of his impulsive and negative behavior whereas before he was only praised for it.

so if we take a look at even just that, which is still about ¾ of the diagnostic criteria, I think u can see where this really starts to explain his personality. Katsuki is hot headed, angry, impulsive, stubborn, selfish, he gets in his own way more often than not, he struggles with prosocial behavior, making friends, and relating emotionally to others. He has a hard time comforting people and usually does so in a blunt and logical way, he isn’t great at sympathy and being soft, kind, or gentle with other people. It takes a considerable amount of effort for him to realize where his world view and his morals and goals are warped and doing him more harm than good, and he absolutely cant stand to be vulnerable or honest about his feelings with others. 

All those things, imo, as someone with aspd & npd, are what make me feel like hes a good character representation of what the complexities of living with these disorders is like. Katsuki isn’t inherently a bad person, and as we see him grow and change, we see the ways in which hes becoming better, but its still hard for him. And despite what a lot of fandom thinks, if u look at the canon, the main person katsuki hurts with his behavior is himself. And I think that’s really important because people with aspd & npd are so often catagorized as abusive villians whose only goal in life is to hurt others. Whereas with katsuki we see where these things and this kind of thinking gets in the way of his goals and ultimately hurts him. and thats what I think makes him the most relatable and makes his growth all the much more satisfying. Katsuki is both fundamentally the same and an entirely different person from when we first meet him. his personality didn’t magically completely change, hes not just a tsundere whose suddenly all mushy feely and hyper empathetic, he’s just learning how to deal with his emotions and the world and getting better at being a healthy person.

So yea, those are my thoughts! There was apparently a whole 1600 words of them so my apologies for writing u a literal dissertation on this lol I just really love this fucking character

[crystalelemental]

To me, Edelgard vs Dimitri is the difference between gradualism and revolution. I dont hate Dimitri, but I think his beliefs are nonsense. To think that forcing your beliefs on others is just self-indulgence... sometimes, forcing your beliefs on others is the only way to save the people those others are hurting, imo. I think Claude is also right, of course. It's just that class inequality isn't really a main focus of his, but regional/racial inequality. Which is also very worth addressing.

There's a lot to this, and I'm gonna do my best at it.

I think it ties in a lot to that sense of "what are the limits of free speech?"  If someone is actively causing harm with their speech and beliefs, then is it acceptable to let them continue?  No, of course not.  Unconditional freedom will eventually lead to restrictions placed on the most vulnerable.  In a scenario like with the Church, they are fairly permissive.  People can sort their own shit out, as long as their shit sorting doesn't rock the boat too much.  Which, by inference, means that things like the Tragedy of Duscur and blood experiments taking place in the wake of the emperor's loss of power, were permissible.  They're allowed within the Church's framework.  The Church itself may not condone the actions of the seven noble houses, or of Faerghus' decimation of the Duscur people, but those in power didn't intervene and indirectly permit these atrocities.  Allowing that to continue is definitely the wrong course.

In terms of how each route handles it, I still think Claude is the most correct of the three.  But I'm going to go in reverse order.

Dimitri's absolutely the least interesting, and frankly, least correct of the bunch.  He's purely the status quo route.  Nothing at all is addressed in his route aside from the immediate conflict.  None of the context that addresses what happened is ever talked about, the route solely focuses on Dimitri and his trauma.  Which...is weird, considering how much trauma every other kid in the house should also have, but never really gets to express in the main story.  Particularly with Dedue, but that's a different talk for a different post.  Dimitri's route just doesn't actually address anything.  It's a powerful personal story, but for the world at large, his outcome is the worst.  Nothing with the church is addressed.  Nothing with the Agarthans is resolved.  Nothing changes, at all, aside from a very standard "good guy beat bad emperor" ending.  Which in any other game would be fine, but in this game stands out as the least compelling.

With Edelgard's route, I see what you're saying, and agree for the most part.  You can't let injustice keep happening, and sometimes you do have to push for change.  Taking it to war is the extreme route, but is Edelgard's inherent philosophy incorrect?  Well...no, not really.  The people of the church are generally all nice people.  I like Rhea, I love Seteth and Flayn, and a lot of the knights are interesting too.  But an institution that's going to sit back and allow tragedies to occur, solely because they're about not intervening beyond what directly challenges them?  That can't be allowed to stand as a power, and Rhea's made very clear that she's not about to let go of that control, unless it's passing the baton to someone else who would continue to hold that control (Byleth in pretty much every ending).  I think Edelgard's right in that the Church needs to be dismantled, or at least its control over Fodlan removed, but...I think Claude did it better.

You mentioned that Claude's racial inequality wasn't the main focus.  And that's true.  But that's because, like he states, the story is taking place within Fodlan.  Fodlan is incredibly wrapped up in its own internal politics, and doesn't interact with the outside world in any capacity.  Hell, Claude even comments that the Church preaches against coexistence with other nations, likely so Rhea can keep Fodlan as a safe haven for the remnants of her family.  Outside interference could mean humans seek power again, and that could lead to harm for the few that remain of her people.  So it's understandable why Rhea's like this, but it's not the correct course of action.

I'm getting off-topic.  My point is, consider Claude's goal with opening the borders.  Free flow of goods, but also of ideas.  Of philosophy.  Almyra has its share of troubles, but also has things going well for it.  Claude believes that, if Almyra and Fodlan could make peace and communicate with one another, that they'd not only come to understand each other, but also the systems they live in.  Think about that.  For an isolationist territory like Fodlan, they'd have no means of grasping what could be different.  This is just how things are, you either continue to follow what's been done (Dimitri) or, as a radical with no outside reference of what's needed, go full on anarchy and decide the only thing to do is smash the whole system (Edelgard).  Claude offers a compromise that can avoid this binary choice.  Open your frame of reference.  The Almyrans don't have the Church.  They don't have strict doctrine.  Nor did the people of Duscur.  Yet they're societies, with some kind of power structure that, while it has problems, is working in other ways for them.  If the ideas are communicated freely between territories, perhaps the people of Fodlan can find that, hey, this other place is doing really well in this area, why aren't we doing that?  Instead of a pure "Smash the system" approach, there could have been a non-violent way to approach the problem, as Claude believes.  Better still, his solution, if it works, is one that helps expand the worldview of the populace.  If successful, it's not just expanding ideas about race relations, but about all sorts of issues, effectively allowing people to address every issue in due time.  His immediate concern isn't exactly the same as Edelgard's, but I feel like Claude's solution would eventually lead to a solution for Edelgard's problem, while Edelgard's solution would not do the same for Claude's.

For Edelgard to purely be in the right, I think what we'd need is the proof that the populace of Fodlan seeks that change, but the Church refuses.  That the Church is an active authoritarian structure itself.  But that also completely changes the context for Edelgard's character and actions, and I'd think for the worse.  That would create a simple black/white morality binary, and that's not what makes this game so good.  It's the fact that everyone has a point but also has their faults.  Dimitri's well-intentioned and thinks very carefully about the lives of his people, but that comes at the cost of ignoring pretty much every societal issue in Fodlan.  Edelgard recognizes society's problems and is willing to do whatever it takes to change them, but at the cost of instigating a war for the entire continent.  Claude's route seems the best on the outside, but I think his drawback is that his solution is based on a lot of faith.  There's no guarantee it will work.  People may not assimilate well, and exchange of ideas may not result in mutual improvement, but could become mutual digging in of heels that their way of life is better, and reinforcing the isolation.  Claude's route is correct in the moment, but long-term it's hard to say.  Edelgard's addresses the problem immediately, but...well, barring the ending cards (which I don't believe), would likely create equal problems with a central, unchecked locus of power for the entire continent once she dies.  Successors could easily unmake all her progress.

For me, I think Claude's the most correct in terms of context for this reason.  The Church does seek to keep Fodlan under control, but hasn't turned against the people's wishes just yet.  A non-violent approach is preferable in this situation.  If it didn't work, or if the Church tried to reinforce its authority by rejecting these changes, then Edlegard's route would have a bit more merit.  But I think setting up a situation in which she in the right, is only possible when the other sides aren't, which ruins the balance of morality the game is playing.  It's far more interesting to have the extreme approach pulled at this point in a societal change, because it raises that question of when a revolution is appropriate, and when is it something that’s just serving whoever’s going to inherit power in the aftermath?

[ajoblotofjunk]

Before I leave the warm cocoon of Brynn’s house, I am going to write out ALL MY FEELINGS about New Amsterdam. Most of which can be summed up by: this show had a lot of great individual elements and did not know what the fuck to do with them at all.

Here are the things I SHOULD have expected going in but for some reason did not and was continually surprised by:

1. Nik is in the show ALL THE TIME. That was like 7 hours of concentrated Nik we just consumed and it was wild. (This fact will, funnily enough, be the reason behind one of my biggest issues with the show later on.)

2. Nik is very tall! And lanky! He’s around a lot of tall people in Game of Thrones I guess and the armor makes him look bulkier. I was just very surprised by his profile all the time.

Huh I thought there were more but I guess not. Moving on!

I’ll start with the things I loved:

1. Since it was so much his show, let me give credit where it’s due: Nik was GREAT. I have many issues with the character John Amsterdam but NCW took what he had and did excellent work with it. There were a couple of flat moments but they were either genuinely unsalvageable dialogue or because the show was relying on chemistry between him and the doctor that just was not there no matter how hard he tried. And he had amazing chemistry with MANY people on that show so I think it was just one of those weird mismatches you can’t overcome. You can’t fake chemistry! Someday casting directors will learn that. Anyway, I was very proud of him.

2. The supporting and one-time cast are incredible. (This is ALSO lead-up to my biggest issue with the show!) Eva Marquez is a TOP TIER character, a woman cop who is great at her job, quick and witty, has some hinted at emotional depth, and deserved her own show tbh. If I were re-writing this show I’d make HER the focus and saddle her with John and come at it from that angle. Omar is ALSO AMAZING and every scene he was in SPARKLED. The lady sergeant walked the line sometimes but could have been good and that white guy detective who seemed to have no partner of his own was developing in an interesting way. The one-time guest cast were all also really good and there was a surprising amount of casual diversity that I really appreciated! I did not appreciate how Indian culture was used AT ALL in the already atrocious rape episode and frankly Nik’s past-John hair in that was also an offense so you miss literally nothing of value if you skip all of it except the last five minutes and even that, turns out, means nothing by the end of ep 8. MORE ON THAT LATER.

3. All of the past stories (except the rape episode one) were really interesting and I am like 50/50 shipping John/Lily and John/Eva mostly because Lily canonically died and Eva is GREAT. The conceit of using a new past life moment to tie to the present day case would have gotten very old even 20 episodes into this show, but for 8 it was neat.

4. The IDEA of the show had a lot of potential! That is the nicest thing I can say about it!

The things I did not like:

1. As I alluded to above: John is in this A LOT. ALL THE TIME. They surrounded him with this amazing secondary cast with whom he had incredible chemistry (every Eva and John and Omar scene was GENUINELY DELIGHTFUL and I would watch a supercut of this show of just the three of them in whatever combination). But the hyper focus on John was frustrating BECAUSE they had all these other characters. And like, this was 2008 and the show is about him and they needed to hook you into the main character I get all that. But because the other characters were always just props to John’s pain, including the ACTUAL VICTIMS OF CRIMES, it got very cringe-y very fast sometimes and also left behind so many opportunities to expand on the secondary characters even more. Like the rape episode: EVA should have been spearheading that, but because the show is All About John, he stepped in and it became about him getting revenge for a missed opportunity to get revenge before (even though he did actually get that revenge before? You can’t have your cold revenge cake and eat it, too, show), and it stopped being about the victim at all. It was gross. I cannot stress enough you should not watch that episode. Y’all know I love Nik but the focus was too much on his character, especially by ep 6 when it would have been reasonable to expand more. The worst part is the show walked to that edge MULTIPLE TIMES and then walked back again. So frustrating.

2. My overall problem with the show can be summed up by: they were SO CLOSE to greatness in so many ways and they just couldn’t pull the trigger. FOR EXAMPLE. The show is about John finding his soulmate so he can become mortal again (which.....more on that in minute too) and in one of the later episodes he and Eva go to this dating service (that’s a front for something else but they don’t know that at the time) called Soulmates and the lady who runs it talks about the questionnaire everyone takes to join and your IMMEDIATE THOUGHT is: they’re gonna take the questionnaire right?? RIGHT?? Readers, they do not. No one talks about it, no one mentions it, the only important thing about this place is it’s a front for crime and also it’s called Soulmates which is basically only there to make John look angsty and confused about the situation he is in with his. SO CLOSE TO GREATNESS. What I REALLY want is for fandom to get their hands on this show and make it better. Fans would have KILLED with the set-up they give us.

3. Soulmates. I actually LOVE soulmates tropes. I know a lot of people don’t and I absolutely understand all the problematic elements to soulmates but I love it anyway. And I very much did not love the soulmates stuff going on in this show. Mostly because John Amsterdam is 400 years old and he’s learned a lot of skills and nothing about how to live and that could have been an actual choice by the writers but I don’t think it was. I think THEY were so focused on John finding his soulmate they forgot to make him a person beyond that. WHICH IS WEIRD given he gets together with The One (sigh) like halfway through the episodes we have and then breaks up with her by the end of the last one and yet they did zero work to show that relationship at all instead ONLY relying on the “they’re soulmates!!!!” connection. Combined with the actors’ lack of chemistry (honestly Sarah felt more like his mom than his girlfriend and that’s NOT GREAT) it killed that whole plotline. They had way better chemistry at the beginning of the series when they were just flirting; once they got together it went to hell. Which I guess worked since they ended up breaking up! But the show seemed like it wanted me to be upset that they did and not relieved which was how I actually felt.

ALL THIS BEING SAID. I do not regret watching the show! It was fun to see Nik as a new character and getting so much screentime and in all the different get-ups. I have adopted Eva and Omar into my Fandom Characters I Adore family and am happy to have them there. I kiiiiiiinda want to write fic that uses the elements in ways I want but that will probably never happen since there are tiny fandoms and then there are nonexistent fandoms and frankly I have enough JB fic ideas to last me for years at this point. So if you’re an NCW fan, I DO recommend it! Except episode 4 which is offensive! Heh.

Also John swims naked in the YMCA pool at night multiple times and they never explain WHY and I need an answer. I wish I could ask the showrunners what their long-term plan was because given what happens in 8 episodes it is NOT AT ALL clear. Maybe they were going to make it Eva/John endgame?? Who knows! I’m not sure they did!

Plus there’s this:

They had VERY good chemistry. It’s a shame the show didn’t even give us very much of them being partner-y. Their banter was so good and so limited. We didn’t even get late-night bullpen talks where John kind of casually has his tie loosened!! COME ON.

[ramblingcj]

Ok, so I decided to do a replay of AC Odyssey and while I was at it, I played through the Legacy of the lost blade DLC. Honestly I was going to just buy the Atlantis DLC and not bother with this one because of the mess that it is, but there was a sale and it ended up being cheaper to just get the season pass than to buy the DLC as a standalone. So here we are.

Anyway....I'm what.....a couple months late to this party? Oh well......this DLC....... I have some thoughts about it. Especially since I was able to play through the entirety of it directly after the game without waiting, so my memory of events in the main game and this is fairly fresh. Now I'm playing this after Ubisoft supposedly “fixed it” by doing.....something......and I knew what to expect which might've softened the blow somewhat. But damn what a shitshow this is.

Sidenote: I played as Kassandra so I will be referring to her as the protagonist when talking about this.

Sidenote 2: This is long. And I tend to ramble. Hence my url. 

I'm gonna break it up into points just to try to keep my thoughts organized.

The whole baby bit. OK, first off: this game is choice driven. You spend the entire main game making choices that might shape who your character is. The end result may vary, but I will say that I think the game did a fairly decent job in making you feel like the game was the choice driven story it was promised to be. Some smug players might scoff and go “well, the game is a linear story” except....it wasn't. It was choice driven. Yes, there was a story there and some events had to unfold. But it was still affected by choices. Your choices as the player. Who did you kill? Who did you spare? How will you resolve a conflict? Will you ask for a reward? Will you fight? Will you threaten this person or use diplomacy? Will you pursue the chance at a little bit of romance with that NPC or simply reject them? And, frankly, the DLC did the same for the most part. The ONLY time I truly felt railroaded was the damn “romance”....if you can even call it that. It completely takes away the player's agency.

I get the whole attempting to bring Odyssey into the AC universe bit. The main game focused more on the Isu and Kassandra's connection to them than the assassins themselves. But here's the thing though – just telling us that the Order of the Ancients existed in this time aswell and existed for a long time would be enough. We already know from Origins that the Order of the Ancients would later become the Templars. So we know their importance to the lore of this world and how it was shaped. And, like it or not, the Isu have always been apart of the Assassin's Creed universe. Its literally been a thing since the first game. Yes, we have the Templars and Assassins on opposite sides. But the Isu or the “Ones that came before” have always played a part. So its not like Odyssey wasn't already part of the universe. It just expanded on one aspect of it a bit more. The game isn't just the Assasins vs Templars thing. Just because people might like that aspect the most doesn't mean that's all there is to it. But I get attempting to bring the assassin part into Odyssey. However we also know that the actual Assassin's Creed order wasn't founded until Aya (and Bayek to a degree) did so in Origins. Which means that all this DLC had to do was tell us that the Order of the Ancients, the precursor to the Templars, existed, had existed for a long time and they always sought to control. By claiming the Isu artifacts for themselves or, as in this DLC, attempting to wipe out anyone with Isu blood. There. There's your connection to the other games.

I will say this though: the fact that the "tradition" of cutting your ring finger off in order to use the hidden blade only came about because Bayek put the damn thing on backwards is hilarious.

Not to mention – you can't play the baby choice as Kassandra wanting to secure the bloodline at all. You get one, maybe two lines about it. After the fact. But that's it. The rest is taken completely out of your hands. Take the whole quest of finding keepsakes for Natakas grave as an example. Its a tedious fetch quest that forces you to listen to Kassandra bemoaning what she's lost. Grieving a man Ubisoft decided that she loved without decent writing or the players input. In a game they touted as being choice driven. It was cringy at best and infuriating at worst.  You get his bow after the quest, I dismantled it right away. I just didn’t care. And why should I? The game just forced me into this situation without even attempting to make it seem like a natural progression of the story. 

Ubisoft's reasoning/excuse for this was “Alexios/Kassandra realizing their own mortality and the sacrifice Leonidas and Myrrine made before them to keep their legacy alive, felt the desire and duty to preserve their important lineage.” 

Here's the problem with that: It's bullshit! That's a motivation/desire that was never once expressed in the game. Not in the main game and not even in the damn DLC where this railroading happens!

Kassandra never expresses that she feels the need to preserve her bloodline, to keep her legacy going. Not when talking to Myrrine. Not when talking to Pythagoras. And not once in the DLC itself. The reason Ubisoft gave for Kassandra having a baby means nothing as it was never something she stated that she wanted. This motivation of wanting to continue the bloodline came out of nowhere. Literally. Kassandra doesn't even say anything relating to that until after you've been forced into the “romance” and had the baby. And I'd be willing to bet that that dialogue option was added AFTER the backlash from fans, in a pathetic attempt to justify this moronic decision. Because it sure feels like an afterthought in the game. Now, in the main game, Kassandra did state that she wanted her family back. But she meant the family that was ripped from her by the Cult of Kosmos. Myrrine, Alexios, Nikolaos – that was the family she wanted back. She wanted what was taken from her back! In fact Kassandra's whole life was ripped apart because of her bloodline. Her bloodline made her a target as a child and keeps making her a target as an adult. The Cult and their obsession with the bloodline was just one example. An example that cost her everything. She grew up without her mother. She lost her brother to the Cult. Phoibe, an innocent child, was killed by the Cult.  All because of a choice made by her mother and father long ago to “secure the bloodline”. Not to mention that she knows that the Order is hunting “Tainted Ones”. People who are descendants from the Isu. And she fcking knows that the Order is operating in Greece and have been operating in Greece for a while. Not to mention that she now has the staff of Hermes Trismegistus and the knowledge/responsibility that it brings with it. The staff practically makes her immortal and she knows that. She knows all of this, but decided to have a kid anyway? For a motivation she never even once expressed? What complete bullshit!

For all we know, that could've just as easily been the reason for Kassandra to deliberately refuse to continue the bloodline. Its caused her nothing but misery. It ripped her family apart. It makes anyone related to her or even close to her a target. So her coming to the conclusion that she doesn’t want to continue the bloodline would be just as natural and understandable as her deciding to continue it. 

I can't speak for the woman Alexios gets forcibly bound to (Neema?), but Natakas? He is bland as fck. He was boring and felt like such a waste of space and time. He had absolutely no chemistry with Kassandra and there was nothing about him that even remotely indicated that Kassandra would be interested in him. Maybe a quick roll in the hay at best. But choosing to stay with him and having his child? No fcking way. Natakas comes across as a one-off NPC that you're not really meant to care much about because he's gonna be gone once the DLC is over anyway. Which makes sense because that’s what he is. Even less so if I'm honest. There's other NPCs far more interesting that him that you meet in the game. Like the old lady wanting random stuff so that she can keep humping her husband. Yup, you read that right – a horny old woman who sends you on a fetch quest to collect deer tongue and who Kassandra/Alexios can roll around in the sack with for a bit was a far more memorable character than this bland mess of pixels called Natakas. The only real impression Natakas left behind was one of infuriated gamers who got railroaded by Ubisoft. 

Briefly on to the bloodline/legacy bit: We learn that Aya is a descendant of Kassandra's. Ok........so?  All this this “reveal” did was further illustrate that Origins should've been Aya's story and not Bayek's. From what I've seen most people who played Origins literally walked away from it feeling like we should've played as Aya with Bayek playing the secondary role. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adored Bayek while playing the game, but its hard not to play that story and feel like he shouldn't have been the protagonist. That, while you're running around as Bayek, the actual building blocks for the order, the actual assassin work was done by Aya. While we're on the sidelines watching as Bayek. Instead of, you know, playing through the actual origins. This “Aya is a descendant of Kassandra” reveal just adds another layer to that. Not to mention that, unless I'm forgetting something, the bloodline ends with Aya as she had no more children after Khemu's death. So, congrats Ubisoft, you just further illustrated that you fcked up by not having Aya as the protagonist. Because women are hard to animate and all that.

The game does try, oh my yes does it try, to convince you that there is something between Natakas and Kassandra. Like that loooonnngg scene you have to suffer through where Kassandra is looking at Natakas. Which prompts old lady Kleta to go “real connections with people are rare, Kassandra”. So. Fcking. Cringy! Firstly, you can't skip the damn scene (because I tried) and, second, the line is laughably out of place. Real connections are rare? While that might be true, between Natakas and Kassandra its completely nonexistent. Kassandra had more chemistry with the woman saying that damn line than the guy the game is forcing me to be heteronormative with. There's plenty of characters that you meet throughout the game that Kassandra does have a connection with. And there not necessarily romances either, like Brasidas. Aspasia’s brief introduction scene (you know the one) had more to it than Natakas entire existence. Of the actual romances in the game, I think Kyra is probably the one who feels the most like an fleshed out romance. Daphnae or Roxana also had the potential to feel like fleshed out romances if they were written just a little bit more. Speaking of the dudes, there’s Thaletas or even a gentle soul like Lykanos. Main point, the romances in ACO m,ay not have been fleshed out Bioware-esque romances, but the potential was there. But we get stuck with this boring mess.

If Natakas had been written as Brasidas, then the romance (and I use that term lightly) would be slightly more believable. And I mean written as a character with a vital role to the story as Brasidas was. He felt like a secondary character with a role to play. Natakas is just kinda there. He’s no more than background. Playing second fiddle to his dad, who is far more interesting than he is. In fact, when the uproar happened about this DLC, I didn't realize that Natakas was a part of it at first, so I briefly thought that the dude Kassandra had a baby with was Darius. And, as weird as it might sound, I honestly would've preferred that to Mister Yawn over there. At least Darius was somewhat interesting. Basically Natakas and Kassandra fit together like two pieces of a puzzle that you used scissors and tape to force together because you couldn't be bothered to find the actual right pieces.

And this is a small point, but an important one I feel: Where. The. Fck. Was. Myrrine? You mean to tell me that Kassandra spent the entire base game looking for her mother, fighting to get her family back and stopping the Cult, only to not even bother to tell her mother that she has a child? That Myrrine is now a grandmother? That’s how fcking stupid this DLC was. It placed all the importance on Darius and Mister Yawn while forcing Kassandra to play a secondary role. When she is the actual main character. The way the DLC plays out, Kassandra literally lives in a village for (I’m guessing) two years, has a child who’s a couple of months old. Goes through the whole drama of getting her child back before deciding to give him up to keep him safe. All without bothering to tell her own mother. Myrrine herself was a woman whose children were ripped from her and here she had a grandchild that she wasn’t even allowed to meet or even know about. 

Everything about this DLC was infuriating. Going into it I knew what to expect and I still sat here becoming increasingly irritated by it as I played through it. Keep in mind, that I played this after Ubisoft supposedly “fixed” it after the backlash. From what I've read, they barely did anything which just makes me wonder why they even bothered. 

It would be such an easy thing to fix too if they’re dead set on forcing a baby on us: Add a few lines from Kassandra in the main game and throughout this DLC about her wanting to secure the bloodline, since that apparently is the excuse Ubisoft is gonna hide behind. Then introduce us to Natakas and tell us that he too is a Tainted One. Because Kassandra being a descendant of the Isu was kinda the whole point of her bloodline being special, you know. So she’s not gonna go and have a baby with some random dude. So Natakas is now a Tainted One. Then add Myrrine to the DLC and have her play a vital role. Have her and Kassandra talk about the bloodline. Why it was important. Why Myrrine made the choice of having a child with Pythagoras. Make that something Kassandra struggles with. And when the time comes make it a choice. Have Kassandra tell Natakas that she is only with him to have this child. That’s the only reason. She’s not gonna stay with him and she will go back to Sparta to raise it with her mother (and possibly Nikolaos if he is still alive). Basically have Kassandra do what Myrrine did several years earlier. Most of the DLC will still play out the same way, but with some tweaks here and there. 

Of course if you wanna play Natakas as a romance option, then that should be there aswell. But for those of us that don’t, the above should’ve been an option. 

Aside from, you know, not having the baby at all. 

OK, now I’m gonna play the Atlantis DLC. Fortunately this one doesn’t seem to have problematic stuff in it, so I haven’t been spoiled. Off we go now. 

Or how about going all the way out and tell us that Isu technology makes reproduction a moot point. Two women/men wanna have a baby? No problem. After all, there seems to be no damn limit to what the Isu stuff can do. It can turn people into monsters. Control minds. Make people essentially immortal. 

For fck sake, Ubisoft, you’ve created a world with a species capable of the craziest and you still decided to tie everyone down by the chains of heteronormativity. 

[writtenbyhappynerds]

Fanfiction 101 Unit 2: Formatting and Text

Ok. So we’ve established the rules of the universe, which is a fancy phrase that means set parameters that meet the standards of the world and stick to them to keep continuity and cohesion. Before we continue onward, let’s talk about the thing that will absolutely make any new reader click off immediately: bad formatting.

       Bad formatting can really make or break your fanfiction and there is no excuse for it. Even if the fanfiction is the next Brave New World, if I as a reader don’t have breaks in the paragraphs when the scene changes or someone new is talking, I will not sit through it. I’m not going to try and sort through what is going on, and who’s talking. On top of that, bad formatting looks bad on the author. It looks like you don’t care enough about your story to use good paragraphs, grammar, and punctuation. Fortunately, there is a solution. Grammarly’s beta is free. You can add it as an extension to google chrome. Write your fanfiction in google docs and let it correct your grammar for you. This series is checked for grammar by not only my Editor but Grammarly. However, grammar is just half the battle.

       A break in paragraphs, ie: a new paragraph appears when there is a change in who is speaking, in location, or in action. You should start a new paragraph when there is a new idea, when your readers need a break, and when you want to present contrasting information.

       When we say, “new idea,” we mean the same thing as a change in location or action. If Leonardo and Raphael from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have been sitting in the sewers for five minutes and now are going to the surface, you would start a new paragraph to demonstrate that change in an idea.

       When we say, “your readers need a break,” we mean that walls of text are a bit daunting and not pleasurable to look at. If you find yourself having a large wall of text, you can look through to find new or alternating ideas-- showing information that is different from one another also works for new paragraphs, and these can break up a mass of text into something more appealing to the eye and easy to read. Formatting is important, and another thing that is important is text.

       I’m going be blunt: Pinterest lied to you. Tumblr also lied to you. Every verb that is describing the way someone talks or someone moves does not need to be unique. Every verb also does not need an adjective describing it. Writing can get very, My Immortal that way, which, if you don’t know what that is, it's the most iconically bad piece of fanfiction of all time and the Internet Historian has a 3-part series acting out only a chunk of it. However, as the author John Scalzi once said, “to ignore [popularly bad works] is to ignore why they are successful and what we can learn from them.” What we can learn from My Immortal is that extremely specific descriptions of clothing, links to makeup/outfits/hair, and using an adjective and unique verb every time a character moves across the room or speaks is clunky and decreases the quality of a narrative. It’s amateur writing.

       I’m sure you’ve seen the charts. They’re all over Pinterest, and some are on Tumblr: ‘200 words to use instead of ‘says’’ and ‘100 ways to say ‘went’’. These charts are useful to a point. As a writer, you should not pull a new word from those charts every time a character is moving. It makes the writing awkward. It makes it clunky and uncomfortable, and the reader notices it. As readers, we don’t need the tone of something shoved down our throats every ten seconds. If every means of speaking is unique, none of them are.

       In addition, when it comes to speech your characters should have differing voices. You don’t need every line to clue us in to who’s speaking. It can slow down the text. To improve the use of ‘said’ work on developing unique voices, because you’ll find you use them often. It can even work in rooms with many characters. As an example, I’ll show you an Avengers fanfiction, where five of my OCs have been trapped in Loki’s cell. The first example will have every dialogue followed by a unique descriptor for speaking, and an adjective. The second example will have just ‘said’ and a footnote of who is speaking. The third will be as it is written.

**

Example One: descriptor + adjective:

“What, are you the kind mother-figure meant to bring us under your natural authority? Get that first-year psych-student bullshit out of here.” Duncan taunted merrily.

“Please,” Naomi added quietly, coming to rest by Duncan.

“Yes. Please.” Jano murmured low. “B, what was her request anyway?”

“That we stop calling Nicky a pirate. Also probably Nicky.” Bianca surmised aloud. Micah snorted from his position across the room.

“I don’t think that’s gonna happen-” interjected Micah quickly.

“Absolutely not,” exclaimed Naomi.

“Have you all gone mad?” questioned Jano confused, “We call it like we see it.” Bianca held her arms out and smiled.

“It’s not just me.” She simpered with a smirk. “A spade’s a spade lady. I don’t do power moves.”

“Noted,” grunted Romanoff, who left the room.

“Get better material!” Duncan shouted cheerily as she left the room. He looked down to see Barton still there. “Are you the bad cop now?”

**

Example Two: ‘said’:

“What, are you the kind mother-figure meant to bring us under your natural authority? Get that first-year psych-student bullshit out of here,” said Duncan.

“Please,” added Naomi.

“Yes. Please,” said Jano. “B, what was her request anyway?”

“That we stop calling Nicky a pirate. Also probably Nicky,” said Bianca. Micah snorted from his position across the room.

“I don’t think that’s gonna happen-” said Micah

“Absolutely not,” said Naomi.

“Have you all gone mad?” said Jano. “We call it like we see it.” Bianca held her arms out and smiled.

“It’s not just me,” she said with a smirk. “A spade’s a spade lady. I don’t do power moves.”

“Noted,” said Romanoff.

“Get better material!” said Duncan as she left the room. He looked down to see Barton still there. “Are you the bad cop now?”

**

Example Three: stripped back:

“What, are you the kind mother-figure meant to bring us under your natural authority? Get that first-year psych-student bullshit out of here.”

“Please.”

“Yes. Please,” said Jano. “B, what was her request anyway?”

“That we stop calling Nicky a pirate. Also probably Nicky.” Micah snorted from his position across the room.

“I don’t think that’s gonna happen-”

“Absolutely not.”

“Have you all gone mad? We call it like we see it.” Bianca held her arms out and smiled.

“It’s not just me. A spade’s a spade lady. I don’t do power moves.”

“Noted. Romanoff left the room.

“Get better material!” Duncan looked down to see Barton still there. “Are you the bad cop now?”

**

       Do you see the difference? The first one is clunky and doesn’t fit. Some of the verbs and adjectives don’t even make sense together, which is an issue I see on its own. It slows down, and clogs up the pace of the scene and makes it drag instead of pulling it forward. Adjectives can be used to your advantage, but save them when you want to slow things down. Don’t be afraid to use ‘said’ it doesn’t make you basic, it makes your writing easier.

       The second example is better than the first but still awkward. When you compare the second and the third examples you see that not every line of dialogue needs its own note as to who’s speaking. If Jano asks a question, we can assume as readers Bianca is going to answer it. If Micah laughs or snorts across the room, we assume he’s speaking next. From this small snippet, more of each character’s personality can be expanded on and their voice can be distinguished. Naomi speaks in very short one-word sentences. That’s her voice. Bianca is louder. Jano speaks with the Queen’s English. Duncan tries to joke. Something I do when I write characters is give them a couple of cues in their speech unique to them. Maybe Micah starts his sentences with ‘uh’ a lot. Maybe Duncan never shuts up and has longer, run-on sentences. These are things that can distinguish your characters’ voices, and make each one unique. They shouldn’t all sound the same. The third example, also in comparison to the second and first, is much easier to read. It takes less time to get through it, and the dialogue goes down smoothly. You want your writing to go down like that. It should be smooth, and easy to read, and formatted in a way that is easy for the audience.

       Let’s move on to links and descriptions. Clothing is very tricky. I myself, am a former Polyvore hoe. That shit was my jam, and I spent so much time making outfits. Some of them may or may not still be up in my stories. However, we are better than that. I understand a desire to want to describe every inch of clothing, but it makes for a wall of text that is frankly boring to scroll through. It can be done but shortened. For example, if you’re writing a Percy Jackson fanfic, and the character is at Camp Half-blood, I’m going to assume they’re wearing the same summer camp attire that everyone else does: orange t-shirt, shorts, necklace. Give me something that no one else would be wearing. Tell me they’re wearing their bronze bracelet because it has their weapon. Tell me they’ve defaced their t-shirt and sprayed graffiti over the logo. The same is true for Harry Potter. If the character is wearing a uniform, we don’t as readers need to know as much what they have on. We can assume it’s what everyone else is wearing because it's a uniform. You can still show personality through the way they put their hair up. Or their shoes. Look at the novel The Hate U Give. The main character wore a school uniform, and the author then took the time to describe the model and brand of her shoes, because that was both unique to that character and told us something about her personality. A recent Harry Potter fanfic I just read made a point to describe when the character had unique makeup looks, or when she was wearing a stolen sweater, because those pertained to her personality and the relationships around her.

       There are exceptions, of course to clothing. A big one is superhero costumes. However, much like abbreviations in text, you only need to describe it once. So, if I have a superhero and I say she wears… a sleeveless leotard with her logo on the chest, long black pants, and a black domino mask to hide her eyes when she fights crime, for the rest of the story, unless her costume changes from that description, all I have to say is: she put on her uniform. Save yourself some time.

       Now, in regards to links to hair, makeup, and even characters. We all can do better. You are too good of a writer to be linking away what your character’s hair and makeup are. It’s also not hard. Describe the brown smokey eye. Tell me it’s a cut-crease. Say they glued on false eyelashes and put on a red lip. Tell me their eyeliner wing could cut a man. Not everyone is a pro makeup artist, and even if you tell me their makeup isn’t the best, you still can reveal something more about their personality. A girl or boy or nonbinary friend who takes the time to meticulously perfect a cut crease and put on fake eyelashes for the ball is different than the person who pops on a red lip and some mascara and calls it a day. You then make two more hints at personality, rather than just giving your audience a photo. The pictures you use as a reference as authors should be for you and you alone. In your mind, this is what it looks like. As a writer, you have to communicate that image to the reader.

       Links to characters are something I’m guilty of. I checked my Psycho-Pass fanfic before I wrote this section, and yup… they’re still there, and I’m not taking them down anytime soon. That crap’s cringe. Pure cringe. And there’s a good way and a bad way to do it, and the bad way is smack-dab in the middle of the story when you introduce a character. It’s lazy, it takes the reader out of the immersion, and it makes the author look bad. Yes, I am roasting myself. No, I don’t care. This needs to be said. In my Psycho-Pass fanfic, I do it twice: the first is when a sniper is trying to shoot down my OC. The way to rectify that high-intensity situation is to just describe the bare basics. Young woman. Long hair. Giant gun. That’s all the reader needs to know at that moment. The other time I do it, is when a character is going to pick up the OC from the police station. That is a less intense scene, and I as an author can take my time and describe the older man with salt-and-pepper hair who smelled like cigarettes and had a scar that cut through his smile. Notice in both descriptions, I stay away from what each person is wearing. To tie back to before, it doesn’t matter as much. The reader can imagine what a young assassin is wearing when she’s trying to kill a crime lord. The reader can also imagine what that crime lord’s exasperated keeper looks like. I don’t as an author need to spell those things out for you.

       Stock images and reference images of characters are great. They let you as a reader visualize what these characters look like in comparison to everyone else. However, the images and pictures of characters are only for you. You have to be able to communicate the vibe, appearance, and aesthetic of your world. For example, many of my own characters have their own Pinterest pages filled with aesthetic-y images, outfits, and face claims. These images are for no one else but me. They will never be seen by my readers, they will never be checked by the Editor. They are for me and me alone, so that I can check on one board and remember the vibe and personality I am going for with a specific character. These Pinterest boards are reference images, and as such, they are for me and me alone.

       As mentioned, there are acceptable ways to insert images in fanfiction, should you choose to. I don’t believe these are necessary, but if you so desire you can put a little link in the author’s notes or as the footer of your story. Let those lead to the main characters. Next week we will talk more in-depth about face claims and how every fanfiction writer needs to leave Emily Rudd alone and let her live her life. Formatting is the quickest turnoff to a new reader sticking around. Change your paragraphs when necessary, keep your verbs simple, make your voices distinct, and reference images are for your eyes only: use your words.

       If you are interested in additional supplemental instruction, here is the archived My Immortal fanfiction from 2008ish. It is the worst fanfiction ever written and should serve as an example to you all of what not to do. 

https://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/

[questionablygourmet]

I Like This Show A Normal Amount: Will Graham As Autistic Representation

In a previous meta post about Will, I briefly alluded to my appreciation for Will as good autistic representation, and for Free-For-All Friday, @tin-can-paladin prompted me to do as I’d said I might and write a Thing about that.  (Hopefully today is the day I actually get this post finished and up!)  So here we go.

First of all, this post will be starting from the premise that Will is an autistic character.  I don’t particularly care if Hugh’s said he’s not; whether or not he meant to, he and Bryan gave us an autistic-coded character and I reserve the right to be delighted about it!  (Actually, that’s not quite true - I do care, in the sense that I wish he hadn’t said that, because acknowledging portrayals of characters on the spectrum that aren’t a walking fucking stereotype played for lulz *cough BBT COUGH* or as a tragedy inflicted upon their neurotypical family members as being on the spectrum is Important.  But whatever.)

This post will address aspects of Will as a character, but also to an extent how he’s handled in the wider context of the show, and why that matters.

Agency

This was my primary focus on that previous Will meta post, but in context of autistic representation, I think it’s an important thing to highlight in this post as well: Will Graham is a whole-ass adult in control of his actions even when other characters don’t think so (see: Alana, Jack, et al in late season 1) or are actively trying to subvert that (see: Hannibal, You Asshole).

Autistic characters in various media are all-too-frequently infantilized and handled as though their environment/circumstances completely dictate their behavior.  Will both implicitly and explicitly (“You can’t reduce me to a set of influences” - ironically for a later part of this post, the next thing he says mentions behaviorism), resoundingly rejects this, and I love that as part of his narrative in general but also as an autistic character in particular.  

Empathy

This one’s gonna be a doozy.  There’s a lot to talk about here that all generally falls under the heading of “autism and empathy,” so I’ll do my best to stay organized.

First, the simplest: He cares!  So!  Deeply!  And complexly!  And we know that throughout the show!

Frankly, this in particular massively exacerbates my irritated wish that the creators would explicitly acknowledge him as autistic because holy shit the stereotypes he combats with this.  Autistic people in the real world have widely varied, diverse relationships with empathy and compassion (which are different things, and I have some beefs with the way the show uses the word “empathy,” but that’s a digression and this is already going to be a long post), but media largely erases this, conflating difficulties with normative, neurotypical-passing social behavior with inability to empathize, and/or display compassion, and/or even feel emotions (FFS).  

There’s a related point about “normative-passing social behavior” that I want to expand on a bit, here: we see a lot of profound differences in demeanor for Will over the course of the show, and that’s something I’ve seen interpreted as manipulation sometimes when it really isn’t.  (Not to say Will is not manipulative/capable of being manipulative, because he is, very!  But not everything calculated is necessarily manipulative, and I see the two conflated a lot and that annoys me.)  Will has, to my eyes, four basic social “modes.”  

I’m Dealing With Most People With Whom I Have No Particular Antipathy Or Affection - Aloof, and either standoffish or polite depending on how his boundaries are being treated.  He’s not particularly interested in making people comfortable when they’re making him uncomfortable (and being a white dude generally enables him to take this attitude without big repercussions), and people frequently make him uncomfortable.

I’m Dealing With Someone I Perceive As Vulnerable - Exaggeratedly calm, kind, careful.  He’s trying to connect and provide comfort and support.  He’s minding his every move and word because he doesn’t want to cause harm incidentally.  (Abigail, Peter, Walter, etc. and to some extent, Margot, though with her it’s mixed with other attitudes.)

I’m Dealing With An Enemy - This is where the manipulativeness (and even, particularly in the cases of Bedelia and Hannibal, cruelty) comes in.  He’s minding his every move and word because he wants to elicit a specific response from the person he’s interacting with.  (This comes into play with Jack and Alana at various points even though they are rarely full enemies.)

I’m Dealing With A Trusted Friend - Has neither the deliberation of 2-3 nor quite the standoffishness of 1.  He’s neither projecting an image appropriate to a specific kind of fraught social situation, nor actively trying to deflect attention and interaction.  In my opinion we really only see this with Hannibal (in season 1 and then with flashes of it in 2 and 3) and Molly, though he gets close in a handful of moments with Alana, Beverly, and Jack.  

All these modes deal with a) to what extent he is acting, and b) why he’s acting.  And I love that we get to see this breadth of social interaction modes from him, because that is an accurate and sensitive portrayal of an autistic adult, reflecting the often-dramatic differences in “difficulty setting” of an interaction - how and to what extent are we expected to (or otherwise have a need to) mimic neurotypical mannerisms?  What are the stakes of the situation?  These are explicit considerations for a lot of autistic people, and Will demonstrates that vividly throughout the series.

Another way in which empathy and social interaction come into play in terms of autistic representation is that Will can and does form strong social bonds - not very often, because the way most other adults treat him isn’t conducive to it, but with people who display acceptance/a lack of judgment for his non-neurotypical reactions and behaviors, and importantly, who don’t treat him as Other for the way he can reconstruct crime scenes, we see that can form very strong bonds.  Hannibal is obviously the prime example of this, but also Molly, and to a much lesser extent, Alana and Margot.  (Though Jack refers to him as a friend and they have some friendly interactions, their bond is not a strong one and not at all marked by the kind of humanizing acceptance it takes to get truly close to Will.)  People who accept who he is, and who are neither threatened by his skills nor dependent on them.

Finally, in this section, let’s look at the crime scene reconstructions and “getting inside killers’ heads” bit.  

I have complex feelings about this aspect of the show, or more precisely, how other characters talk about his reconstructions and serial killer profiling - they (even Hannibal, to an extent) talk about it in mystifying terms, and I thoroughly dislike the term “empathy disorder” that gets thrown around so much in seasons 1-2 to explain what he does.  Will is apt to testily correct people that he just interprets the evidence, and that is exactly what he is doing.  His vivid imagination coupled with years of active study of criminal psychology allow him to take that interpretation a lot farther than anyone else would, and sometimes make intuitive leaps that the other characters can’t follow.  But it’s clear that this intuition is founded in concrete evidence, as we frequently see him stymied when he doesn’t quite have enough of it, much to the frustration of Jack, who is particularly shitty about treating him like an oracle.  

I like that Will gets to stick up for himself and correct people on several occasions, but I wish the ableism and the Othering was less pervasive amongst the other characters because it makes me want to slap them.  I find that I really appreciate how most of the fic I’ve read since entering the fandom thoroughly and often explicitly rejects the pseudo-magical divination and/or Crazy Person With Magic Brain angle.

Perspective

There was something I was reaching at that was eluding me in my first attempt at this draft, and then I ran into an excellent article about writing autistic characters that suddenly and thoroughly solidified it for me.  It’s really brilliant; it discusses and illustrates the strong difference between a behavioristic (see previous reference) approach to characterization and a humanizing one.  Behavioristic analyses divorce themselves from the actual mindset and experience of the subject, whereas humanizing portrayals display the subjective experience of the person who is perhaps behaving in a way other people may find confusing.  

Since Will is the main point of view character in the show, we get front-row seats to his subjective experience and can therefore more properly empathize with him.  An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.  The behavior that Jack and various other characters are exasperated, impatient, and/or unnerved over all looks pretty reasonable when we know how Will is experiencing the crime scene, or are seeing his nightmares and hallucinations along with him!  And while the nightmares and hallucinations in season 1 are a matter of encephalitis and trauma rather than neurotype, it still matters that we’re led to understand something of what he goes through, from his own perspective rather than an outside one.  

It’s incredibly necessary emotional context moving forward in the show, giving us an autistic character who is flawed but deeply human and whose darkness we can understand.

[orenonahaichigoda]

ほっとけない Types, or Yes, There Are Similarities Between Mun and Muse

I'm gonna share something that someone said to me earlier, because it... doesn't sit right with me for the main reason that I picked Ichigo.

So, a couple of weeks ago at work, I got pepper sprayed by accident trying to protect co-workers from a violent robber who was hitting them. (The co-workers being attacked were both women, and one carried Mace on her keys, and was trying to spray the assailant, also female, but taller than all of us, I'm short, as she [assailant] lunged again and I tried to stop her)

The next day, I was one of a few people who stopped a drunk man on the subway from beating up this guy in his 60s that he just randomly decided to come over and kick.

The conversation started today because I kinda bagged up my clothes and threw them in the closet until I had time, and today, I had time to treat them, so I was buying the stuff. They are soaking now in a bucket of water mixed with cold cream, which is apparently a good idea.

Anyway,this person was saying it's best to protect yourself and not get involved.

She did note expectations difference between men and women, but her point remained essentially unchanged except that maybe men should protect women from other men.

I... don't see why that matters the gender of the attacker or the attacked.

If I see someone who is essentially innocent being attacked (i.e., if it's someone screaming "Kill all [oppressed group here]" through a megaphone in some L.A. suburb being attacked, they brought that on themselves), I don't really care if it's the 140 cm 20 year old woman in my building when I lived near L.A. being attacked by the 190cm guy downstairs because she wouldn't sleep with him (she later decided me trying to help her in that incident and a few where she had no food meant I was kind, ergo, weak, and it would be funny to have these other guys *my age* who like-liked her harrass me, but that's aside) or if it's female co-workers being beaten up by a really tall violent woman, or if it's an older man falling asleep on the train and kicked awake by a crazed drunk 30 year old.

I can't just stand by and watch these things happen. I will usually try to pull the victim away and shield them if it's possible (wasn't at work) because I have arthritic joints all over and I can do more to help if I get the victim to safety than if I'm shattered into splinters and also become a victim.

But I can't just sit there and...do nothing.

And that was probably the biggest thing that drew me to Ichigo. Remember the whole "mountain of people" speech? (Mountain of X is a Japanese idiom for "a lot of X," Japan is full of mountains--it's actually why the cities are so crowded) I liked that he was realistic in knowing he couldn't save the world (so many college students are more idealistic), but he still had that same basic thing where he couldn't live with himself if he'd sat idly by. This really never changes. It never changed with me either, except as my joints went, I had to change *how* I handled it.

Now do I think he suffers for it? There's no way he wouldn't incur PTSD. Point blank, here. He's seen a lot of violence. Frankly, he--quite reasonably--seems to have it around his mother bleeding out in his arms before the start of the story. (Clearly, mondo survivor's guilt as well. I knew someone who ended up with that in real life. Ichigo has flashbacks. Ichigo becomes not himself on the anniversary. Ichigo *wants to be blamed for her death, when he was a small child and couldn't have reasonably done a thing* )

But he's also worse off when he's disempowered. I use that word intentionally. I really wish we'd seen more of powerless Ichigo. But, again, what little we see, he's quiet,withdrawn, in his head a lot when he's not focused on earning money or something.

Anyway, yeah,either way, the guy... frankly probably needs someone like what Ikumi was trying to be, but, you know,who could at least see spirits so he actually *could* talk to them about everything.

But I think a ほっとけないtype (dunno how to translate that!), now, you're just gonna incur damage. Aside from panicking and great pain because I'd never been pepper sprayed before, I've gotten blows to the face, I've gotten thrown into things, and I have PTSD from years of violence happening to me, so naturally, violence itself is triggering, but I... couldn't live with myself if I just did nothing.

And that's also key with Ichigo. He is just the type that is going to incur damage. But the damage is worse if he doesn't/can't do anything.

Barring the fact that in Bleach, death really is "just a flesh wound," his choices are really just between being turned into a child soldier/pulp (remember Tesla?) and "useless/put out to pasture," as far as he would seem to feel.

I do think he might be *too* self-effacing, if that's the right word. Does he ever seem to derive his intrinsic value from anything but protecting others (what he can succeed in doing for others)? Doesn't seem so to me.

I do feel like others-based self-worth is both something a lot of people struggle with, and something a ほっとけないtype might be particularly disposed to. It might also be something enforced on AFAB people, which, boy, if only savings account interests compunded at the rate of these problems!

Anyway, to this type of person, it's so much worse to spare oneself the flesh wound than to just stand by and watch others get hurt.

Ichigo has a doctor dad, a time-reversing comrade, and I have enough money and health coverage to get my clothes/skin/body/stress treated.

Rather, the stress part, choosing inaction would be something I would have to *live with.*

Ichigo is trying to do that, jumps at the first sign of hope he can be empowered again, and when (for a few seconds) that's taken away...do we ever see him cry any other time that's not a memory of him being a small child? I don't think so. I'm gonna guess that that's supposed to be he just can't handle it anymore. I'm actually not quite sure there.

They gloss over Ichigo's time powerless, but even though he was sorta forced into it, I don't think it would be all that different, especially for someone who derives his self-worth almost entirely from... something he can no longer do.

Could that also be why he was going into chasing money? Trying to find a new measure of self-worth/efficacy as an earner? They never expand on that. My project is different, but something to think about for RP.

But yeah, this type of person, well, it's not the safest type of person to be. But it's not like you consciously opt into being this type of person.

I don't really have a conclusion here, but this is actually what drew me to Ichigo. And what drew me to Bleach overall was Ichigo and...I have a lot of deceased family, so I like stories where the living and the dead just kinda hang out. So Ichigo and living-like ghosts was what brought me to this show.

(After writing this I realised that the advice I got today is just not something I can or should follow, although I should really be smarter about how I get involved)

(Also note, I've been exposed to violence, had to learn to fight it, and also just *alive and gaining life experience* for a good few decades. Teen readers definitely shouldn't throw themselves in fights with, say, middle age armed muggers. Rather, the teen should really go run to a brightly lit place with multiple people, like a store, and get help. The key is to try your best to be smart about how you get involved. Again, if you also become a victim, you aren't helping. Actually, after the pepper spray rendered me useless, all I could do was call for help, which was actually the best part of what I did)