#i was gonna do a whole event but its gonna have to be postponed

[angie-long-legs]

"Seventy-seven years in the dirt, baby! Happy death day ta me!"

"Been down here more'n twice as long as I was up top, ain't that just swell?"

[stormyoceans]

It seems to be the reason for the postponement is infact the unexpected engagement and noise it got. They have now decided to do a rerun on Saturdays and to push Last Twilight to Fri. This expalins the reason to postpone the trailer a whole week so the time between the trailer and airing time is closer. What are your options on getting the friday slot instead the saturday slot. Honestly if a show is good people WILL watch whether it's a weekend or a weekend imo think it all comes down to perception

SORRY BUT THIS IS LITERALLY SO FUNNY TO ME IM SUDDENLY NO LONGER UPSET ABOUT THE TRAILER BEING POSTPONED LIKE IMAGINE HAVING SO MUCH SHEER IMPACTICISM THAT IN JUST A FEW HOURS YOU MAKE A WHOLE ASS MULTI MILLION DOLLAR COMPANY REARRANGE ITS ENTIRE SCHEDULE JUST FOR YOU

anyway, i do personally agree with you that if a show is good, people are gonna watch it no matter on which day it airs, but i also know that friday is indeed deemed to be the best time slot because on saturday there can be events and concerts pulling viewers away. of course it's not that convenient for international fans because of the time difference (like for me GMMTV shows air in the middle of the day, which means that if we're getting last twilight on friday im not gonna be able to watch it live with everyone since im still at work at that time 🥲), but GMMTV's priority has always been local, so under this point of view it's giving last twilight the best chance it can get (and it's kinda frustrating that they didn't expect the show to pull those kind of numbers to begin with, but better late than never)

SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS????? JIMMYSEA AND LAST TWILIGHT YOU'RE GONNA BE FAMOUS

[dojae-huh]

Sorry if it's gonna be so rant-y but all this Jaehyun enlistment thing has me SO confused to be honest, adn as the ibservant person you are I would like to discuss the timeline of events that lead to it or whatever.

Apparently he applied on early august, and you know what else happened on early august their 8th anniversary in where they announced the upcoming concerts to be held on January, so all this time he was out of those plans? and for what reason? at first i thought TI's f-up triggered his decision but they weren't informed about it until mid-august.

And now there's a US interview (the only 127 member that did written interviews for US media, and idk if he's filming any interview now that he's been there for about a week or so) and he says that in about a year he sees himself releasing more good music... like??? why would he say that when it's clearly not

but then there's that fansign clip in which OP tells him about missing TY and JH telling her that he would go soon too, but I take this with a grain of salt, he might sad subtly or had he actual plans of going this early all this time and for what? he's the most popular member, he has international appeal his solo is the one doing the best in most metrics, he qas also booked with cfs, which he most likely wouldn't have got if he was enlisting this soon

Yes, looking at the schedule, to get into a band Jaehyun had to submit his application August 1st or August 7th. Plus, fans think that he returned from Thailand to Korea and then went right away to Indonesia (that weird detour after a 127 fanmeet everyone was confused about) because he had to do a health check (again, based on the dates from the military enlistment shedule).

There is information (I don't know how true), that if Jae didn't get into the band, he would have to apply again. However, he got accepted on the first try. Frankly, even if it's an option, I don't think military would pass a famous idol with a clearly good voice and handsome face. "Oh, it's so hard to get into an army band" is not about the likes of Jaehyun.

In addition, Jaehyun's whole schedule for October has been already planned. Doyoung's encore is exactly on the last days of Jaehyun being in town. Lastly, a band has limited number of places, to not miss a chance and apply in time the decision should have been made before deciding on the solo slot even. It's not like it was with Kai, when he was planning to perform with Exo, and then the military called saying his application for a 3d (?) postponement was not granted, so he had to drop all plans, beg forgivenes from the fans, and go to the base right away.

Ergo, it was planned Jae will go November 4th way ahead.

"In a year" is a common approximation when it comes to idols. It can mean 1,5 years, 2 years, in foreseeable future. It's a vague answer in an interview, not an official announcement (like with Mark's solo in February). Imagine you are promoting your first album and saying that you will release another one in 2-3 years? Fans will connect the dots. Most SM artists normally release an album every year. If Jae said "maybe in the future", fans would have attacked SM. Who is promoting themselves as a soloist with no promise of continuation?

Plus, he could have recorded an OST. And there is that collab with the guy from Emotional Oranges (Jae will feuture on his upcoming album).

Taeyong booked a new cosmetic endorsement right before he left. It aired after his enlistment. Clio has a ton of footage with Jae, it will release it bit by bit the same way it does with DoWoo. Same for Prada. Jae was its BA long enough anyway. These contracts are for a few years only.

What do you mean "And for what?". 1) for 127 to comeback as whole sooner, 2) to reunite with Doyoung sooner, 3) if it's true that the army band only accepts up to 27 y.o., than this as well.

Jae will be in a band, he will be seen by gp. It is better to release a second album and go on a tour after enlistment in Jae's case. He is not known as a soloist yet. Imagine him getting some attention in US and then dissapearing for 2 years? You think people will hold on his name? No.

Jae didn't break the wall. His MV didn't go viral (3,6mln views as of now). Album sales and streams are from his fans. They will wait for him, especially knowing what to expect from him genre vise (= wanting more and anticipating).

It's not about me being observant, it's about common sense and "giving it a thought".

You said "Jaehyun is so popular now!". So what? With whom he is popular? With 127 fans and his solo fans. GP doesn't know him, as an actor he is not known, he is a nobody on the international scale as a soloist yet. Brands bag him because he is from SM, a part of a famous group, has 15mln followers on IG, and he is very handsome. In two years (1,5 actually) it will stay the same.

All these years Jaehyun was saying he wants a holiday. And you want him to have another squirrel in a wheel year after 10 years of exactly that for fame and brand deals he doesn't crave. A year alone, without Doyoung by his side, or at least Tae, Yuta, and Haechan?

Maybe trust idols in their late 20s themselves sometimes. Enlistment is their decision, a company can't force them to do it. Normally idols go the very last minute. When they go ahead of time, it's what they want and see as the best solution.

P.S. Sorry, forgot about the concert. So yeah, it was planned without him (but with Taeil, the main vocal, i.e. 7/9). They just couldn't say it. Look at other SM groups, they performed and gave concerts with few members as well. It will be 127 day concert. I was surprised it was scheduled so far in the future, but it makes sense given the context now (not a tour, just a special day performance).

[narwa]

not to be a doomer but i've got a feeling we're not on the last stretch

[saphirered]

Hai I love your writing and I was wondering if you could do more verin x reader, like how would he react after finding out about essek, and he searched for him then he met the m9 and reader ?

Hope this turned out the way you wanted it! 😘

After the disappearance of his brother, Verin could simply not let it go. The Shadowhand disappeared from Exandria’s surface overnight without a word of warning. No traces left. No signs of a struggle that may indicate his enemies having gotten to him. Why would Essek leave everything behind willingly? Everything he gave his life for in service of the Bright Queen and the Kryn Dynasty? There had been suspicions about a traitor amidst the Bright Queen’s court but Verin simply refused to believe that to be Essek. His brother would never… Would he?

Verin, much like his brother is resourceful and shares a similar determination to reach a goal by any means necessary. That goal right now; finding Essek. Verin’s unsure what he will do once he finds his brother. There’s so many questions… But what if the rumours are true? No. He can’t think like that just yet. He will not tarnish that reputation through speculations. He needs answers first. He needs to find Essek.

Months of searching, following whatever traces he could find. Verin had to look to the past any ties before Essek’s disappearance. That lead to a group of strangers. A colourful bunch of chaotic individuals seemingly defying all odds when faced with them. Verin may not be able to track Essek but he could try and find these people… The Mighty Nein.

————

Heavy bag over one shoulder dressed in fine clothes you stroll through low-lit halls flanked by two guards. Radiating a sense of authority and sternness you stop in front the metal bars, on the other side a redhead leaning back against the wall looking up at you innocently without a single worry.

“Master Widogast, I’ve been told you’re here on suspicions of corrupting the minds of your students. Do you have anything to say for yourself?” You address your friend. This never ends. Caleb gets himself arrested because someone finds out what he’s allegedly been teaching at the Academy. He’s dragged off to a holding cell and your disturbed amidst your work day to get him out again. This time you’ve made him wait though. You had an important meeting you couldn’t get out.

“It’s all just a mistake. You’ll find my students can vouch for me and prove this misunderstanding to be nothing more than part of the curriculum of theoretical transmutation.” You dig through your bag, take out a scroll and hand it to one of the guards. The guards reads it over awaiting your command.

“Well, hurry up! Release this man before I have you written up for unlawfully keeping one of the Soltryce Academy’s most beloved teachers.” The guard quickly jumbles with the keys and the barred door is unlocked. Caleb gets up and you step aside to allow him to exit. The guards wait, not entirely sure what to do next. What did you expect of newbies…

“Are you really going to stand around loitering? Back to work.” The guards scurry off and you and Caleb walk next to each other exiting the building and into the streets. Once you’re both in the clear you drop your more rigid behaviour and punch the wizard in the shoulder.

“What was that for?” He exclaims rubbing his arm. That’s gonna bruise.

“The only reason I took this job is to get you and the others out of trouble when you inevitably got yourself in a mess again but between Beau’s bar fights and your borderline treason, I swear you’ll be the ones that will lose me my job.” You’re only half serious. You can’t count the times you’ve had to bail the Nein out for their antics and have definitely been abusing your newfound power to do so. The king might be an asshole but at least the pay is good and the benefits better.

Reaching your destination, wizard at your side discussing who might have spilled the beans on Caleb’s rather liberal teachings you open the low fence to the garden. In the garden you’re met with the familiar disguise of your friend Essek, sunhat to guard him from the harsh sunlight, gardening gloves on harvesting some vegetables. Upon seeing you he grabs the basket next to him and joins the two of you with a smile.

“While I’d hoped this wouldn’t become a habit, thank you, for getting Caleb out trouble, again. Your endless efforts are certainly appreciated. We are in your debt many times over.” The disguised drow sends the redhead a loving glance as he addresses you.

“And don’t you forget it. One day I might come and collect.” You grin at Essek with the pleasure of turning his own words against him. Of course you didn’t mean them. They’re your friends and you’ll never seriously ask for anything in return for anything they ask of you.

“Clever.” Essek speaks sarcastically smiling at your comment.

“But if you feel inclined to repay me for my hard work, you can make sure you’re both on time for dinner tonight. The gang’s getting back together and you’re expected.” Essek hands you the basket he’s carrying providing you with the resources of a home cooked meal for the gathering of the evening. It’s been a while since everyone’s been at the same place the same time.

“I’ll do what I can but I make no promises.”

“All, I can ask for.” You turn your attention to Caleb. “That reminds me.” A quick inconspicuous motion of your hands allows you to summon a small stack of papers. Another perk of your job; getting information the higher ups want to keep to themselves. Luckily a lot of them have assistants that are much easier to get that information from.

“Beau and you can get back to work. But not tonight! Tonight’s work free, for all of us.” Caleb quickly leafs through the ledgers you’ve handed him.

“You know, if you ever grow bored of the court life, you can always join me in teaching free thinking and magic at the Academy…” Caleb jokes as you pick up the basket ready to leave the wizards to the rest of their day.

“And who’s gone bail us both out then?” You laugh over your shoulder closing the fence behind you. Back to your home and prepare for the evening. You can’t help but feel like you’re being followed. You pay close attention to the shadows and for just a moment you’re sure you see something, or rather someone. Choosing not to pursue you continue on to your home. It’s not like your place of residence is a secret to anyone.

————

The house is noisy, happy chatting and laughter fills the dining room. How you’ve missed this. The table has been set, plates, cutlery and all, a multitude of decanters and bottles ready and filled, and plates and platers filled with food are added one by one. There’s something for everyone, everyone’s favourites.

“Yasha, can you take the cupcakes out of the oven for me?” You ask the barbarian wearing her floral embroidered apron stirring a pan on the stove as you plate the smoked pork. Yasha plates the baked goods by flavour and carries the tray to the dining room as you follow behind with your platter. Cheers erupt from the rest of the Nein as you and Yasha place the final dishes on the table. Everyone takes their seats and digs in pouring themselves drinks, taking whatever they desired, happily conversing about what everyone’s been up to in the past few months, talking about new plans for the future and the nostalgic adventures of the past together. You’ll have to get back to that some day. Maybe soon?

Despite the happiness of the whole event you still can’t get over this feeling you’re being watched. It’s not scrying, your home is protected from it and you feel safe to assume it’s not anyone from the Assembly or the king’s council. So who is it?

————

Verin watches the group as they enjoy their feast, his brother among them. He looks happy and content, as if the weight of the world has been lifted from his shoulders. Is this what he left Xhorhas for? He always wanted more, so how could Essek be content with a normal life? No matter the motives he’s loved, they’re his friends, something he never truly had before.

Then talks about the beacons came up. Mentions of the past missing ones and newfound ones. Aeor and its connection to Dunamis long before the Dynasty. The theoretics and potential of the beacons and the continued pursuit of studying them. Within the Dynasty this could be considered sacrilegious. And it made it look more and more Essek was guilt of the treason others suspected him of. His brother was a traitor and a disgrace in the eyes of the Dynasty and his family.

So why does Verin feel like none of that matters? He should be angry. He should dispose of his brother right here, right now in the name of the Bright Queen. But he can’t bring himself to it. His brother is happy, fought free from the expectations of others and the demanded unwavering loyalty to the Luxon and the Dynasty. Essek did exactly what he couldn’t.

————

You excuse yourself from the table making an excuse about checking on dessert and retreating to the kitchen alone. This feeling of being watched was getting on your nerves but tonight should be one without trouble and conflict. You’ll figure out if this watcher in the shadows poses a danger to you and your friends, if so you’ll dispose of them. If it can be postponed until tomorrow, then tomorrow you’ll deal with it but not tonight. Tonight is about peace, friends and family getting back together.

So when you reach the kitchen you open the window taking out the lattice work pies and cakes you’d made and left to rest and cool down before the Nein’s arrival. You get the batter you made and begin making some waffles. While you wait for them to be done you hum to yourself and sit in the open windowsill looking out over the city, inconspicuously looking around for your uninvited guest. The first batch is done and they haven’t showed up yet. Alright, you’ll make a second batch and some extra whipped cream while you’re at it.

Then you catch a glimpse of a shadow. You can’t make out all the details but the attire and a flash of pristine white hair leaves you to think it’s a drow. Thinking on your feet you cast hold person but the drow remains unaffected. Before you know it you’re pushed a few steps back into your kitchen. Supporting himself on the windowsill he holds a finely made blade to your throat. You lift your hands in surrender showing you have no ill intend…yet and are willing to talk and listen.

“My quarrel is not with you but one wrong move and I will not hesitate, mage.” The drow threatens you. You don’t doubt his words but this isn’t your first rodeo. If he tries anything he’s in for a fight. Getting a closer look you study the man’s features. There’s a sense of familiarity and you’re quick to conclude he must be related to Essek in some way. Broader build and longer hair but same features and eyes. He’s probably a fair bit taller too standing up straight instead of crouched in a windowsill.

“Perhaps not but it might be if you do not get out of my windowsill in the next few seconds.”

“Is that a threat?” He pushes the blade a little closer and you feel the cold steel against your skin, one move and it cuts.

“No. But take a look outside. You’ll see the torchlight of the guard patrol. Get inside.” A quick glance over his shoulder gives you the chance to take a step back from the drow and pick up your whipped cream and continue whisking before it loses its structure. He jumps inside and away from the window as you whisk completely indifferent to the fact a stranger just held a sword to your neck and entered your home even with your invitation.

“You must be Verin Thelyss.” You state putting the now finished whipped cream in the ice box. Verin stands there wary of you, expecting you to make a move and attack him at any second but you’re not and even from your demeanour he can gather you have no ill intent towards him. Not at all what he expected, but then again he didn’t expect to find his brother in the capital of the enemy nation of the Dynasty having dinner with a bunch of (previous) adventurers, some of which holding ranks within the Empire no less.

“You’re questioning my motives and calmness.” You lean against the counter crossing your arms. Verin lowers the blade but you’re unsure if it is because of defeat or he doesn’t see the purpose in holding you at sword point any longer.

“Why not just let me be caught by your guards? Why invite me inside your home?” Verin watches your every move, every twitch. You can see the same confusion and uncertainty and panic you’ve seen in Essek many times before so you offer a soft smile. Best you can do for him right now is stay calm, don’t make any uncertain moves and approach him with gentleness. You’re sure with how long you’ve been feeling like being watched today he’s been the one responsible and he’d have caught onto your conversations from the shadows.

“Call it a leap of faith. I trust Essek. He trusts you. You’ve done nothing to prove you have any ill will towards my friends so until you prove me otherwise you’ll be welcome.” You move slowly grabbing two knives. Putting one on the counter and sliding it over a little away from you until it touches one of the pie dishes.

“You’re good with a blade right? You can help me cut these pies and cakes and we can talk.” You gesture to the kitchen knife. Verin looks at you as if you’ve gone insane. Maybe you have but it’s more likely you’ve faced much worse than the likes of him. You move your own knife and he watches you as you begin dividing the cake in even slices.

“How do I know I can trust you?”

“You don’t.”

“Then why should I listen to you?”

“Because you’re still standing here in my kitchen.” You laugh plating the slices of cake on another silver platter neatly.

“Verin, if you came here to kill your brother you would have tried so this afternoon. That you haven’t only shows you’re not here for that. You have questions. You want answers. Now I’m not just going to let you walk into my dining room until I’m certain that the information you got and the questions I answer will not lead you to violence. So you help me get dessert ready. If you prove your intensions for your brother and my friends are honourable you can join us for dessert. If you prove a danger to them, I will allow you to leave this place tonight but should you ever return I will be the least of your worries.” Verin takes the knife and tests the grip as if it’s a dagger as he looks at the apple pie in front of him. He stabs the knife down carefully and cuts downward repeating evenly spaced out. You wait for him to talk not feeling like you should initiate conversation just yet.

“The one who stole the beacons and handed them over to the traitor mages of your Empire, it was my brother’s doing.” More of a statement than a question you nod. Diving straight into the deep end, aren’t we? No matter, better rip the bandage off quickly.

“It hit us hard as well. Though, I can’t say it was surprise.” You’re not sure how to place what you read from Verin. Pity? Disappointment? And a good bit of acceptance thrown in the mix.

There truly was a sense of acceptance because no matter how much he might want to deny it, just like you said, there had already been that underlying suspicion it was Essek given his aspirations. It’s one of those things that leaves you hoping something isn’t true and you wilfully suppress the possibility until there’s no other way around it and you’re faced with the truth. If what you said is true and what he gathers from your conversation with the Nein and you now, you found out in the moment. He’s only learning about this in the aftermath.

Essek lied to your faces, pretended to be your ally to cover for himself and yet you still found it within yourselves to forgive or at the very least accept everything he had done so maybe, just maybe he could try to do the same. Still he has many more questions but he’s unsure if you can answer all of them.

“I won’t ask you to forgive and I certainly won’t ask you to forget, but I will ask you to give your brother a chance. In his time with us he’s truly been trying to make up for his mistakes and repent for his sins and while they may not all be washed away in his lifetime, it’s a start. He’s just as much of a misguided tool, as most of us, promised an a glimpse of power by forces bigger than him and without a way out when he realised the gravity of his actions and the consequences.” You finish up the last pie and put the knife to the side. Verin hangs onto your every word.

“When we were about to walk into certain death gathering what we could, he told us that if something were to happen to him, we should come find you because despite everything, you were one of the only people he felt he could trust.”

“Then why didn’t he trust me with this? Why depart without a word?”

“Because burdening you with that information would put you in the same place he put himself in. He came here, to a place he knew you couldn’t follow. He left a place he would endanger everyone he cares about because he knows you, just like the rest of us would fight the entirety of the Dynasty just to keep him safe.” You’re right. Verin know you’re right because he would have stood with his brother in the end despite what crimes he had committed. Essek was not the master of this grand scheme but he played his part. He’d spend his life making up for it but at least he will work towards making this world a better place. Verin can only aspire to do that very thing; protect the people he cares about and make this world a better place.

“I still have many questions.” Verin breathes. It’s a lot to process and that’s okay. This is just the start but it is the most difficult part. You grab the plates and platters balancing them on your arms.

“Maybe you should ask him yourself. Why don’t you join us for dessert, Verin?” He doesn’t know how to respond. While you told him you’d let him join, he didn’t expect it to be now or with so little certainty on your end, but maybe you knew more than you let on. Without a verbal response Verin grabs the remaining dishes from the counter and waits for you to lead the way.

Entering the dining room Beau and Veth are in the middle of a drinking contest each with their own decanters of wine. Veth slams down the now empty decanter.

“Momma’s still got it children!” Veth exclaims cheering as Beau sits back disappointed, two more gulps and she’d have won. Yasha comes in telling her she’ll win next time. Fjord passes over a hand full of coins to Jester who calls him a loser poking his cheek giggling. Kingsley is on the verge of challenging Veth to a drinking contest of their own and Essek carefully manages to grab a bottle to refill his and Caleb’s glasses before this goes south. Caduceus is watching the chaos unfold deliberating wether or not he should get some hangover tea ready because they will need it if this keeps going.

When you enter, the cheers for dessert fall quiet quickly seeing the drow behind you carrying several pies. Essek freezes up and Caleb naturally takes a bit of a defensive position without breaking the dinner setting. Verin albeit awkwardly steps out next to you as you helping you put the plates on the table. With a wave of your hand you call over another chair to be put at the head of the table. You gesture for the man to sit and he does debating wether or not this was the right decision as all eyes fall on him. You take your own seat.

“Well, come on guys, dig in!” Not needing to be asked twice they do, some wary of Verin but you know they’ll ease up soon enough.

“So you’re Essek’s brother? He didn’t say you’re a hot boi too. Jeeze Essek, is everyone in your family pretty?” Jester asks stuffing her mouth with a piece of cake. Verin is taken aback by the blue tiefling’s comment and the identical faces he and Essek make are enough to send most of the table in a giggle fit. You cover your own response to this for your own sake.

“Eh-Thank you? I think? Though, if my company is undesired I can leave…” Verin suggests unsure how to further approach this doubting this is the right place for this.

“Nonsense. If our friend invited you to join, for whatever reason, you’re welcome.” Fjord assures. He knows you wouldn’t just allow this without a reason and just by the attitude of the guy, he gets a pretty good estimate there’s no malicious intent in Verin right now.

“Yeah and while you’re here you can tell us about all the embarrassing shit Essek did when he was a kid.” Beau punches Essek’s shoulder past Caleb who’s quick to get out of the monk’s way. Essek rubs the spot she hit teeth clenched but smiling nonetheless.

“So, Verin, what are your intentions here?” Caleb asks an open question hoping to get more insight in the drow’s motives. While he trusts your judgement one can never be too certain and he’d rather not be face to face with Essek’s brother on their way home should that scenario arise.

“I-“ Verin tries to find the words picking them carefully. “I thought I knew before but now I don’t know. I came to find my brother and I found him, among friends. I have many questions, some answered by your gracious friend but I think for now, I’d like to truly meet my brother’s friends because if this is the company he finds himself in, I can only ask to witness his happiness.”

It’s a strange feeling for Verin to come to that conclusion. When he left Xhorhas he considered he might be bringing back the corpse of his brother, by his hand or someone else’s depending on circumstances, or bring him back in chains for treason to be tried in front of the Bright Queen. What he didn’t expect is to be met by an alternative that would change his views on everything. He realises that with your stories and those of the Nein he was just as lost as all of you, but now he’s found a group of people that willingly accept whichever path he chooses for himself without expectations, rules or conditions.

Verin first hand gets to experience why Essek chose to leave everything behind and give it up for these people. They are his friends, his family and he’d never be alone again if they can help it. Perhaps Verin can experience that too one day. The Mighty Nein will make sure he does because as we know, once you get involved with them, your life changes forever.

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Scarson

hot take: Hels Scar (aka Scarson) is what GoodTimesWithScar would have turned into if Hermitcraft hadn’t adopted him

(also just in case anyone doesn’t understand the name - cuz i didn’t at first - it’s Scar + arson, mostly due to certain *ahem* events on 3rd Life)

…

  Scarson likes setting things on fire. So much so that it’s said around Hels that if you don’t find at least six things on fire in any given day, Scarson is either dead or dying. There are only a few Helsmits who can stand to be around him because of how destructive he is. 

  One day, Scarson is outside in Hels, looking for something good to set on fire, when his only friend appears from above. “Scarsooon!”

  Scarson grins and waves. “Hello, Xelqua. Lovely morning, isn’t it?”

  Xelqua lands beside him and looks up at the flaming red sky. “Well the sky is as red as ever, but I can’t say it’s a lovely morning when I’ve just spent the last hour being chased around by Helsuma.”

  “Oh yeah, it’s his hunting day. Please tell me you lost him, cuz I don’t wanna have to postpone my burning plans for today to flee across the entire dimension from a guy who wants to rip my head off.” 

  “Don’t worry, don’t worry,” says Xelqua dismissively. “I lost him. I’m, like, twenty percent sure I lost him.”

  “That’s not a lot, dude!” yelps Scarson.

  “YOU spend an hour running for your life from a homicidal maniac, then! See how confident YOU are!”

  “Okay, you know what? I’m gonna go set his house on fire.”

  As Scarson sets off walking, Xelqua flies along beside him. “Ohohohohoho! You are gonna die.” 

  Scarson grins at him. “Probably. But I’d rather go out in flames than not at all.”

  “Whoa.” Xelqua turns onto his back, drifting along in the air. “That’s poetic, bro.”

  “Thank you.”

  Helsuma’s house is located at the base of the volcano at the heart of the Hels dimension. Its style mimics that of his counterpart Xisuma, but with a clear nether-based colour palette. 

  Scarson takes out his flint and steel and stands up straight. “This may be a suicide mission, Xelqua,” he says grandly. “So if I die, think of me fondly.”

  Xelqua salutes. “Godspeed, Scarson. Godspeed.”

  With that, Scarson charges at the house and dives through the window, smashing the glass. 

  Immediately, movement catches his eye. He yelps and jumps up, ready to fight.

  But instead of facing Helsuma like he expected, he finds Prof standing there with a shulker box in his hands.

  The two stare at each other in silence for a moment.

  “What are you doing here?” Scarson asks slowly.

  “Raiding Helsuma’s house,” responds Prof casually. “You?”

  “I’m here to burn it down.” 

  “Pog. Gimme a head start, will ya?”

  “Oh, of course.” 

  Scarson waits until Prof leaves the house, then counts to ten and strikes the flint and steel several times. 

  Due to the plethora of nether blocks, the house is almost instantly consumed with flames. 

  Coughing, Scarson jumps back out the window and straightens up, dusting himself off. “Awesome. His is my favourite house to set on fire.”

  “It’s really burning!” marvels Xelqua. “If Helsuma sees this, he’s gonna obliterate us.”

  As if on cue: “SCAAAAAAAAARSOOOOOOON!”

  “Oh well, at least we’re going down together,” says Scarson.

  But Xelqua’s wings shoot out to full extension. “Oh Hels no. I’m outta here.”

  “W-Wait! Xelqua!”

  Scarson watches his friend zoom off into the sky. “Welp. I’m dead.”

  “YOU’RE DEAD!” Helsuma’s voice bellows. 

  “Oh I’m DEAD dead.”

  Even though Scarson can’t actually see Helsuma yet, he takes off running anyway. He knows it’s useless, though; Helsuma is a hunter. Helsuma stays out of sight, stalking his prey, before pouncing and killing in one blow. Once Helsuma sets his sights on you, you’re dead. 

  Breathing heavily, Xelqua settles in his nest atop the tallest tree in Hels. With his keen eyes, he looks around for Scarson but his friend is nowhere to be found. 

  Then the death message appears in the sky for the whole world to see:

Scarson was slain by Helsuma

  Xelqua grins. 

  Just another Monday in Hels.

…

(i dont usually add notes at the bottom of my fics but i wanted to just clarify the Helsmits i included in this one: Scarson is Scar, Xelqua is Grian, Helsuma is Xisuma, and Prof is Doc. i know some are obvious or mentioned in the fic but i just wanted to clarify)

[storiesforallfandoms]

missing ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 1603

request?: yes!

“Hey. Could you please do a Colson Baker imagine where he’s constantly missing important dates between him and the reader and she always dismisses it because she knows he’s busy but one day he misses their anniversary dinner and it’s the breaking point for her and she’s high key upset and sad and she confronts him in tears but can barely get a word out because she’s crying so much and it’s all angsty but somehow still ends in fluff. Thank you✨”

description: dating a famous rapper/actor means that sometimes they’ll be too busy and forget things, which is fine, until it’s your anniversary

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing, angst

masterlist

Dating someone famous comes with its ups and downs, as every relationship did. Unfortunately, the downs of my relationship with Colson included him missing a lot of time with me. Of course, I didn’t blame him for that. His career was doing really well, and I’d never ask him to choose between that and me. Besides, I loved hearing his music and getting to see him at work. There was just something about watching the person you love doing what they are so passionate about that was beautiful.

But, it was a struggle to have to postpone so many dates or to go to important events alone because Colson had to miss them. I knew he felt bad, he always hated to have to tell me he was missing something, and I wasn’t upset with him, but it was just really hard.

Things came to a head on the night of our third anniversary. By the time our third anniversary had come around, I was living at Colson’s place, his daughter, Casie, saw me as her second mom, and Colson and I had been talking a lot about getting married. While three years isn’t exactly special in and of itself, the year we had spent together had been, so I wanted to do something special for Colson and I. I decided to make Colson’s favorite foods for him for dinner and dessert. I had talked to him for weeks about it.

“Baby, you don’t have to go through all that trouble,” he kept telling me. “We could go get take out and watch Netflix and I’d still love it just as much.”

“We do that every day,” I told him. “I want this anniversary to be special. You’ll be off that night, right? No recording, no filming, no tours, nothing?”

He smiled and kissed my forehead. “I promise, baby. I’m all yours that night.”

He had left that morning to go meet up with the guys. He said he wanted to put some finishing touches on the album, then he’d be back for our anniversary dinner. I had no problem with that, as long as he was mine for the night.

I cooked for hours, making sure everything was absolutely perfect. In between putting stuff in the oven and taking it out to finish it, I cleaned the kitchen so it was the perfect setting for our night. I had even lit some candles in the middle of the table to make it look like a fancy restaurant.

I finished cooking and checked the time. Colson had been gone for a few hours and I had yet to hear from him. I wasn’t too concerned about it at first, I figured he would be home soon. I couldn’t expect him to be home the second I finished cooking when I didn’t give him a real time to be back.

I plated our food, making sure even the food looked amazing and presentable. I set the table, including putting the food in my spot and in Colson’s, and went upstairs to change. I had picked out a beautiful dress for the night, which may have been a step too far, but I just wanted everything to be perfect.

I saw at the table and checked my phone. Still no texts from Colson. I sighed and rested my head against my hand. I didn’t want to get upset just yet, I didn’t want to be that girlfriend. I kept telling myself he was probably running a little late, that he promised he’d be here and he’d be back soon. I just had to wait.

Nearly an hour passed and I hadn’t heard anything from him. No texts, no calls, and he wasn’t answering mine. I was still sat at the table, the food in front of me that I spent so long cooking getting cold. I was starting to get irritated and decided it was about time to call him.

His phone rang a handful of times before going to voicemail, which tipped me over my breaking point. When the phone beeped for me to leave a message, I decided to let him have it.

“Hey Colson, it’s me. You know, your girlfriend. The one that you promised you’d be home for tonight because it’s our three year anniversary. I’ve been waiting for like an hour now, our food is cold, and you’re not home nor are you answering your phone. I’m going to eat and go to bed, you can pop your food in the microwave if you want, and feel free to sleep in the spare room or something cause I don’t want to share a bed with you tonight. Happy three year anniversary fuck face.”

I hung up and immediately stomped up to our bedroom. I pulled on a hoodie and a fluffy pair of pajama pants before going back downstairs and putting my food in the microwave. I brought the plate up to my room and began to eat in silence, my anger bubbling over. By the time I had finished eating, my anger had turned to sadness and I had started to cry.

Another hour later, I heard our front door open. I hurried to turn the light off and get into bed to pretend like I was sleeping.

“(Y/N)?” Colson called. I heard his footsteps climbing up the stairs. “Babe?”

I tried not to flinch as he turned on the light.

“(Y/N)? Are you awake?”

Hearing his voice set something off in me. I had to try and keep back my tears so I didn’t start crying, but it was hard. I covered my mouth to muffle any sobs that were trying to come out, but I couldn’t stop my body from shaking.

The bed dipped next to me and I felt Colson put a hand on my shoulder, this time causing me to jump.

“(Y/N), babe, can you look at me?” he asked. I shook my head. “I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I didn’t mean to be gone so long.”

“Then why were you?” I snapped, rolling over to glare at him. “What happened that you had to miss our three year anniversary? After I told you that I had a whole night planned out for the two of us.”

“We were finishing the album and it took longer than we thought,” he explained. “We couldn’t get the right finishing touches on the last song, I was trying to push through it so I could come home and be all yours.”

“Yeah well, you weren’t all mine, were you?”

"I didn’t realize what time it was,” he tried to reason. “I’m so sorry honey, how can I make this up to you?”

I shook my head and got up from the bed. It was becoming evident that he wasn’t about to go sleep in the spare room, like I had asked him to.

“Where are you going?”

“Away from you,” I responded. “There’s nothing you can do this time, Colson. You’ve finally crossed the line, you’ve reached the point of no return. Congratulations.”

He quickly stood from the bed and took hold of my arm to stop me. I tried to pull away, but he held on. Tears started falling from my eyes again as I tried to yank away from him in frustration and sadness. I tried to say something, to tell him to let me go, to curse him out, to tell him I was leaving, but I couldn’t get a word out between my heavy sobs.

He pulled me into his arms. I tried to fight back, but I really needed the hug. I needed to get all my emotions out. I hugged him back, allowing myself to fully sob into his shirt.

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N),” he repeated. “I am so, so sorry. I know that those words don’t mean anything, but I really do mean it. I’m sorry for all the times I’ve had to miss important dates and events. I’m sorry that I make you feel like you’re not as important as my job. Fuck, I’m such an asshole.”

“It’s so hard,” I finally managed to choke out. “I know how important your job is, and I know how proud you are of everything you do, but it’s so hard to have to postpone important things all the time. It’s hard to have to go so long without seeing you, to have to go to events on my own because you’re busy. It’s just...it’s hard sometimes.”

“I know baby,” he said. “I know, I’m sorry.”

After some time, I found myself back in bed, still in his arms. I had cried so much that I could barley keep my eyes open from feeling tired anymore. Colson rested my head against his chest and his heartbeat was starting to lull me to sleep.

“I’m going to try harder,” he finally said. “I’m gonna try harder to be here with you. I want to spend so much time with you that you’ll become tired of me. I love you so much, (Y/N), I hate that I made you feel like this.”

“I’m sorry for the voicemail I left you,” I told him, my voice sheepish.

“No, please don’t be sorry. I deserved that. I’m sorry I missed tonight.”

“I’d say it’s okay, but it’s not. I’m still upset over it.”

I felt his chest vibrate as he chuckled. “I deserve that. How can I make it up to you?”

“You make dinner tomorrow night.”

He chuckled again and kissed the top of my head. “Okay baby, I will.”

[the-dead-sea-trilogy]

a major update on the series

i have news that is both good and bad.  [the fic is not getting cancelled, don’t worry].

after a lot of deliberation - and i mean going back and forth for over a year now trying to write Icarus and the Blistering Sun, the prequel to The Devil and the Dead Sea - i have made the difficult (but i think really important, for reasons i will get into) decision to postpone Icarus and rearrange the order of the series.

Mother Earth and Her Infinite Sky, the sequel to the Devil and the Dead Sea, will be the book to be released next.  NOT Icarus, as I have previously been stating.

This is good because I think it is a better, more cohesive choice for the series from a narrative standpoint.  This is good because we get to see our boys being in love on a team right away once it’s out.  This is good because I am excited about writing a story about our boys being in love on a team to immediately follow DATDS.

This is bad because it means I have to put the prequel on hold (again) and full publication will be pushed back, again.  My life is super hectic rn, so at this current time, I’m not able to offer an estimate on when Mother Earth will be released, but I do have the first few chapters written already.

Read below the cut if you want to know some more reasons, both from a narrative and personal standpoint, on why i made this decision and why it was actually really hard for me to do.

if not, all you need to know is the series is not getting abandoned. the order is just getting rearranged, which means publication is being delayed again.

i intend to help this along and keep you guys interested (and myself accountable) by continuing to occasionally post WIP updates and writing updates like these, as well as a tiny one shot compilation like i’m doing for my Legend of Zelda series, if you follow that.

until then, stay safe, love yourselves, and two wishes remain.

-jirachi (silv)

Narrative and Personal Reasons The Dead Sea Trilogy is Getting Rearranged

I work really hard on making a cohesive story with thought, poetry, and themes that I can hand to you guys, and I want to use this time to give you some insight on that and why it’s taking so long.  The narrative reasons are the easiest to explain and kind of go hand in hand with the personal reasons, so I’ll approach it from that angle.

The Narrative:

Ever since I started writing Icarus in November 2019 after DATDS, once NaNoWriMo was over (yes, I tried it), I just kept hitting walls.  And stopping and starting.  And I couldn’t understand why I was hitting so many walls, and I realized it maybe had to do with the narrative structure of the series not being as cohesive as it could be yet.  What I came to realize is that:

A big thing in this trilogy is the idea of the cycles of Birth, Death, and Rebirth.

“And y’know, that’s like, the nature of the beast, inn’t it?” Archie said. “Night and day. Water and fire. Land and sea. Birth, death, rebirth—”

“And we’re in the death stage right now…”

“Then one day we’ll be reborn.”

There was a pause. Archie was right.

-Epilogue, DATDS

Icarus was always intended to be the Birth story.  Archie and Maxie meet, have their first sparks of inspiration, first sparks of their relationship, and first sparks of their rivalry.  It’s all supposed to ignite there, I mention a couple times in DATDS there being a “spark” in Maxie.  That was intentional.

Devil is the Death story.  They literally say this in the Epilogue.  Archie and Maxie purge all the bad blood between one another, die to their pretenses of themselves so that they can kickstart the process of building things new.  In dying to their own egos and having an exorcism of sorts (oh you mean a literal exorcism?) they saw into one another and realized how much they really loved one another the whole time. 

Mother Earth is the Rebirth story.  Archie and Maxie build their new team, learn about what it means to love each other and what they need to do to make their relationship work.  (Among other things that have to do with rebirth).

The issue:

When I started writing DATDS many, many years ago, I never intended/anticipated there to be a prequel, let alone a sequel.  But I fell in love with this story, fell in love with these characters, and it just kept growing and growing and I love it so much.  However, this means, as it stands currently,

I started the cycle with Death.

That isn’t a bad thing - DATDS works as a beautiful introduction to this story.  However, this means in order for the cycle (and narrative) to make any sense, it just flows so much better to have Mother Earth be next.  Because otherwise, I’m going

Death (Devil) -> Birth (Icarus) -> Rebirth (Mother Earth)

And that just.. doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense when you look at it like that??  Having two “birth” moments in a row seems really wonky, and this is probably the source of one of the (many) issues I was having with it.

Not to mention the strange time jumping that would be happening between

ORAS Canon PRESENT (Devil) -> 15 years PAST (Icarus) -> 1-2 Years FUTURE (Mother Earth)

The solution? Simple

Death/Present (Devil) -> Rebirth/Future (Mother Earth) -> Birth/Past (Icarus)

It loops back around from both a timeline and a narrative/symbolic standpoint.

The bottom line:

Devil set up a rebirth story beautifully.  The stage is set for Archie and Maxie to walk down from the mountain and start their new lives.  It just doesn’t make sense for me to put that on hold.  Especially when things in Mother Earth will end up making it easy to loop back around to Icarus.

And, as much as I didn’t want to end the series on a “sad” note, the fact of the matter is Icarus ends in a moment of “Death,” where Archie betrays Maxie and sets up the spiraling chain of events that lead up to Devil, closing the cycle and making it all a complete circle.

That, and it will be incredibly easy to end Icarus with another Epilogue where things suddenly aren’t as sad anymore, even though they ended sadly once long ago, and it can all come together in a reflective way.

There are other reasons I was hesitant to remove Icarus from its second slot, ranging from “I didn’t want to end on a ‘sad’ book” to “I took a lot of creative liberties with Colress as a character and throwing him in at full force in Mother Earth without any sort of warning is gonna be.. strange, to say the least, and at least introducing him slowly in Icarus wouldn’t make him seem like a complete psychopath” but also Colress is.. just kind of like that.

But also ultimately, even though I love Colress as a character and he does have an arc I’m interested in, this ain’t about him.  Much to his dismay, I am sure.

[he already robbed me of valuable covid writing time once by holding me hostage and forcing me to write 120,000+ words about his Team Plasma hot girl summer so he can die mad about it i guess]

What I’m trying to say, ultimately, with this, is that I put a lot of thought and work into what I do.  I’m putting so much effort into this story because I care about it, and I want to give you guys (and myself) the best story I can possibly make.  That is just, now gonna require more time than I anticipated, especially with this change.  And I wanted to give you guys some insight into why delays are happening and why such changes are being made.

Because to be completely fucking transparent, I was really struggling with Icarus.  And once I made this realization, it all kind of made sense why.  And I think once Mother Earth is complete, things in Icarus with start coming together for me.

In the meantime, stay posted, keep an eye out for the other updates, and I absolutely cannot wait to share Mother Earth with you.

[hwangzi]

Natural Pt.2 (M)

[NSFW - teasing, public handjob, orgasm denial, y/n getting her revenge >:)]

{Kinda requested? thx to @stay-trash-2017 's comment :')}

I / II / III

.

After the photoshoot, all members, including their plus-one's and the staff were gathered up to have dinner, celebrating the successful day.

You were treated to a delicious feast at your favourite Korean barbecue place. Everyone was chatting animatedly, laughing and joking with each other, you lost count of how many soju bottles were opened in the past few hours. Just when you were about to take another shot, Minho's girlfriend raised her voice.

"Alright! Are we all just gonna pretend we didn't witness how our cute, innocent y/n here became the hottest and baddest of us all today?" Her words were a kinda slurred…. she was tipsy. You almost choked on your drink - All attention was turned on you.

"Oh my god yesss~!" Jisung's girlfriend agreed, nudging your arm with an excited giggle.

"What the hell was that?"

"Don't tell me you always hid that side of yours and Felix only had to bring it out, huh?" Hyunjin's girlfriend teased, making everyone break out in laughter.

All you wanted was just to disappear in embarrassment. Your eyes desperately searched your boyfriend's beside you - but your knight wasn't there to the rescue. Instead, you found him joining in with their amusement, chuckling to himself quietly with one hand covering his lightly blushing face.

So the alcohol was getting to him, too. The vengefulness from preceding events was slowly recoiling in your stomach.

Interesting...

You cleared your throat and the crowd fell silent.

"Well. Actually, I held back because I didn't want to outshine this man over here-" you grabbed Felix' arm, making him drop his chopsticks on the wooden table.

"Wha-" the blonde started, but was cut off by your own voice.

"In reality, I was just playing down because otherwhise my boyfriend would be jealous of me stealing the spotlight... right, Lix?" You turned to him, a provoking grin plastered on your face.

The crowd howled and whistled and Felix scoffed sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Only in your dr-"

"Oh, you know well enough that I am confident if I wanted to be," you chuckled before turning back to the guys,

"Guess the cat's out of the bag now?" The whole table laughed, applauding you, impressed at how easily Felix gave up on your little banter.

Little did they know, your words weren't the reason why he stopped talking.

Felix' eyes widened almost imperceptibly, feeling his heart beat quicken. His gaze slowly wandered down to his thighs, only to find your palm resting dangerously close to his crotch. Everyone at the table was distracted again, absorbed in their own conversations.

You tested the waters, giving his thigh a little squeeze.

"Y/n-" Felix muttered, still trying to keep a straight face.

"Sshhh..."

Trailing your hand upwards, you gently brushed over the fabric. He could feel himself getting hard.

"Y/n-" he hissed again, a warning undertone evident in his deep voice.

"Everything alright, baby?"

You feigned innocence, taking another sip of soju with your right hand while the other kept up its ministrations underneath the table.

"Fuck-" Felix cursed under his breath, the alcohol cursing through his bloodstream coupled with all the pent-up sexual frustration making him weak.

You chuckled internally at how smoothly your plan was working. He was already having a hard on within seconds and all you did was cup his dick underneath the tablecloth.

Fortunately for you, your boyfriend didn't even make any attempts to stop you as the pressure of your hand on his hard member felt so heavenly, he was unable to resist. Biting his lower lip, you watched with amusement how he was trying to hold himself up straight while suppressing his groans.

With a quick glance on either side of the table, you took the opportunity to undo the zipper on his slacks. Now the only thing separating your bare skin from his was the thin fabric of his underwear.

Felix hissed silently, almost throwing his head back in pleasure but successfully disguised the movement as a quick stretching exercise. He then proceeded to lean in, so his hot breath was tickling your ear.

"Keep this up and I'll come right here and now, babygirl." It was a husky growl, causing shivers down your spine.

"Y-You want that?" You whispered in return, the shakiness in your voice betrayed you.

You stroked him faster, watching as he shut his eyes at the feeling. When he opened them again, they were pitch black and filled with lust.

"Yes. Do it." He demanded, the sexy authority in his voice almost made you give in - but you had to follow through with your plan.

"O-okay."

"Good girl." He praised, encouraging you by discreetly placing his hand on top of yours, helping you increase your pace.

"Hyung!"

Your movements came to an abrupt halt when all of a sudden, Jeongin called the older male from across the table, asking him something about a video game.

Felix sat up, slightly annoyed at the younger for forcing you to postpone this little act to later. You, however, internally thanked him. You've been waiting for this.

Let’s get this game started.

When Felix took out his phone to show something, you quickly slipped your hands back and into his boxers, making him gasp out loud. Nobody, except of Jeongin seemed to have noticed it.

He cleared his throat, explaining he suddenly remembered something about the game character.

You chuckled, thumb smoothing over his leaking tip, feeling him tense up all over. Felix' eyes were focused on the phone screen but you knew his mind was elsewhere.

Feeling your hand pumping his erection in increasing speed, it took all of his willpower to put on this act.

God, he was angry at you. And god, did it feel good.

You could tell he was slowly losing control, the way his member twitched in your palm a dead giveaway that he was close. His thighs were trembling, Felix was starting to loose focus and you could see Jeongin getting worried at his bandmate's questionable state. His voice was trailing off, his entire focus on your hand around his cock as he felt himself reaching his high.

But suddenly - right on the very edge of his orgasm - you removed your hand completely.

Shocked by the sudden loss of contact, Felix turned to face you, not even caring about the video game anymore.

"What the fuck-" he expressed wordlessly and you just shrugged.

"Was that enough provoking?" You smiled wickedly, using his own words against him, "Have a taste of your own medicine." Quickly zipping up his fly and drawing your hand back, you left him incredibly turned on and angry as hell.

Check mate.

However, your revenge plan didn't end as expected.

Felix got up, pulling your wrist harshly, causing the table to rattle at the sudden impact.

"We're leaving." He spat, giving an apologetic nod to his startled friends before yanking you out of the restaurant.

The next thing you knew was your body smashed to the wall the moment the empty elevator opened its doors and his greedy mouth leaving marks all over your neck while your rode up to your hotel room.

"Thought you could get back to me with this little stunt of yours, huh?"

You moaned at his roughness, adrenaline spiking through your veins. Felix let out a vicious snicker, his thumb tracing the purple pattern he’d just created on your skin.

"Bold of you to assume you could get away with this, baby. Forget your reward - Once I'm done with you, I dare you try this again."

Secretly, you knew you would. When it came to teasing him, you were a natural, after all.

Continue.

[gather-ye-sinners]

Hii are requests really open?? (I know its a dumb question but i always get anxiety because im afraid i sent one at the wrong time). But like yeah, can i have headcanons for the bucci gang and what they would do with an s/o that suffers from hypocondria/nosophobia and is really scared of getting sick? Consider this a reference to the present coronavirus outbreak that has been giving me extreme anxiety :( ... also your blog is very cute and all your pieces are amazing keep it up 💖

Heck yeah, they’re open bb no worries! Thank you doll! I got your back for this one. Remember to wash/sanitize your hands gang. Cover your cough and if you feel sick and can, see a doctor just to be safe. I hope this brightens your day!

Bucci Gang x Hypochondriac/Nosophobic! S/O

Warnings: Discussion of Disease, Discussion of Fear, and Possibly Triggering Content.

Bruno Buccellati:

As a professional gang mom, he’s worried right along with you.

Mainly about Mista for obvious reasons.

He’s aware of all the panic buying going on and does his best to get the necessary items.

Soap, wipes, food, and medicine.

He does his best to try and calm your anxiety.

He’ll wash his hands with you and make up random songs.

His favorite so far is one he made up about fish that’s very catchy.

He might start humming it to calm you down.

He’ll help you clean whatever you ask and do any amount of laundry you acquire.

You might have to chastise him about zippering things away instead of cleaning them.

Who needs gloves if you can zip it and forgit it!

He personally thinks Giorno won’t let anything happen to the gang and suspects he has some sort of Golden Experience shenanigans going on.

Fugo did tell him about their fight with Illuso, so he wouldn’t be surprised if he did something like that.

He assures you you will be safe and well protected as his S/O.

He knows words aren’t much, but he’s taken to hugging you with Sticky Fingers.

He can’t be contaminated if he’s technically not real right?

Leone Abbacchio:

He’s mad cuz his Opera got postponed.

He had box seats with the best view in the house god damnit!

He’s personally not very worried.

“It’s just like a bad cold right?”

He loves you though so he’ll help you buy supplies.

He’s touched you care about his health too.

Tries to be supportive, he’s very worried about you.

In fact, even Moody Blues is worried.

You’re the only one to hear the gentle whirrs and whizzes of comfort Moody can make.

Really into the idea of hunkering down with you until it blows over.

His heart soars at the idea of doing domestic things with you.

Also, people are disgusting.

He tries to take your mind off of it by doing stuff with you.

He’s not usually the type to play entertainer, but for you, he’ll make an exception.

He’ll put on some classical music, dress in a nice suit complete with gloves and ask you to dance.

He’s one hell of a waltzer and likes to dance.

If you tell the gang though Corona will be the least of your worries.

Guido Mista:

This is the worst time to try to love this man.

Noah fence but he’s stinky.

The least concerned about it.

He’ll buck up and start being cleaner if he sees how shaken up you are.

The gang will thank you.

He’s got a holster for his gun now, and a full-length sweater.

You will have to coerce him into showering with you.

“Baaaabe! It’s no fun getting clean all by myself~”

The Sex Pistols start chastising Mista on your behalf.

It’s quite the show to watch a grown man be scolded by his six tiny sons.

Number 5 will tell Mista to use his tears to wash his hands if he has no water around.

 Doesn’t mind staying inside and helping you clean.

 Makes the Pistols help clean too.

They’ll be so happy if you make them their own little masks.

He’s not perfect with stuff like this but he tries.

Narancia Ghirga:

He won’t let on to it but he’s almost as concerned as you are.

He’s the type to listen to all news and accept it as fact.

He might not be much help.

He’ll help you stock up and hunker down in safety.

He can send Aerosmith for stuff if he needs to.

It’s just a little theft.

Not to rag on everyone’s fav orange boy but he’s an enabler.

He doesn’t mean to be, he’s just a bit naive.

Panic buys until Buccellati, or Abba tell him to knock it off.

He holds you tight to try and quell your anxieties, but being a bundle of nerves himself isn’t the best.

He can be oddly serious if you have a panic/anxiety attack though.

He gets you water and helps you in the best way he knows how.

Having fun of course!

If the gang decides to hunker down in the mansion together you can bet your ass he’ll be arranging games to pass the time.

His smash main is Pit.

His alt is Dark Pit.

If he decides to help you clean, your whole house will smell like orange disinfectant.

No negotiations.

Pannacotta Fugo:

If you thought his Purple Haze fear was bad hoo boy.

I’d go as far as to say he already has a stash of cleaning supplies.

He and Trish are cleaning buddies.

You two will be the most prepared.

Master of handwashing

May be attached to Buccellati’s Fish song.

As irrational as he feels it is to prepare for things like this, his stand’s existence, for once, puts his worry of judgment at ease.

He still refuses to let Purple Haze out though.

His favorite way to pass the time is curled around you reading.

If you ask nice he’ll read to you.

He does different voices for fiction works.

Will do everything in his power to help you calm down and get in a clear and functioning headspace.

Surprisingly good at meditating and mellowing out quietly if that’s what you like.

Really wants nothing more than to hunker down with you and hibernate it all out.

He has the comfiest room stocked full of books and board games.

Giorno Giovanna:

Really has no worry.

Golden Experience can take care of it just like it did with Purple Haze.

Has no real intention of doing this unless someone in the gang gets sick.

Reassures you of this every time you bring up your anxieties.

He’ll hold you tight and whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

His tactic is reassurance and comforting.

He’ll make you your favorite flowers and animals.

He’ll send cute little ladybugs that transform into loving notes.

He’s the Don now so anything you want you will have.

Hand sanitizer? Cool, he’ll send the newbies.

Face masks and gloves? They raided Cioccolata’s old place not that long ago and he had hella.

He’s very good at grounding techniques.

He just wants you to know you’re safe and protected.

Trish Una:

Oh lordy, this isn’t going to go well.

Trish being Mysophobic and you being Nosophobic usually play into each other well.

No germs, no diseases.

During an event like this though? Y’all are gonna be a mess.

She has a stockpile of Bed, Bath and Beyond and Bath and Body Works sanitizer.

She likes the glitter.

Your best bet will be to hunker down with her and wait it out.

Fugo and his S/O would hunker down with you if you need more company.

She likes to cuddle tight and watch whatever.

Enjoys baking and art type shows. They’re soothing.

Her guilty pleasure show is Say Yes to the Dress.

She might not be much help with your anxiety.

She’ll help you clean of course, but when it comes to your overwhelming thoughts they scare her too.

Luckily you have Bruno and the rest of the gang to help you out.

[idk-mlb-is-reals-cute44]

A Miraculously Wonderful Wedding Day

Requested by @crazyfanatic97 (Dress design also by @crazyfanatic97 )

Summary: When Marinette's wedding day is interrupted by an akuma attack, she thinks her luck couldn't be worse. Little does she know, this unfortunate turn of events is about to lead to what might be the most miraculous revelation she's ever had. (AO3) 

*****

Marinette usually considered herself a pretty relaxed person. After coming into her own in the fashion world, finally asking Adrien out, and successfully upholding her responsibilities as Ladybug for almost ten years and counting, she had faced enough “this is gonna be the end of the world” to figure out how to keep her cool in stressful situations. On particularly bad days, she might get a little “loud, angry fashion designer.” On a rare, worse day, she might feel like she was fourteen years old again. 

Today she was at full out teenage-Chloe-levels of stressed. 

For one, it was her wedding day. The week had already been busy. But starting at seven a.m., it had been an endless parade of “how do you want your makeup” and “let me mess with your hair” and “are these flowers ok?” and Marinette wanted to scream. 

But on top of all of that, the fussing and worrying and getting ready, there was an akuma. 

An akuma. On her wedding day. 

To say Marinette was pissed was an understatement. Marinette was experiencing full-on “let’s murder Hawkmoth” levels of rage. 

The ceremony was starting in two hours. There were a million tiny, but also somehow unimaginably important, tasks to complete and details to check. The caterer was late. There was no time left over to deal with a battle. 

But Marinette had been Ladybug for long enough that she didn’t hesitate to clear out the room, citing “wanting some alone time on this special day,” and other such excuses that rolled off the tongue. (She was practiced at this--she knew what she was doing.) 

“This is so unfair,” Marinette complained to Tikki. 

“I know! It sucks!” said Tikki, in companionable indignance. She trusted her chosen not to need any convincing to do her job. 

Marinette gave herself a minute to push down the worries and anger and stress. Paris needed their hero, their Ladybug, right now. Not a stressed out bridezilla. 

(Marinette, in usual fashion, was not giving herself enough credit. To deal with all this, she was a saint.) 

“Tikki, spots on!” 

*****

Ladybug arrived on the scene, to find Chat Noir already there. She smiled at him. Even though the timing was just so inconvenient it had to be cosmically planned, she always loved to see her kitty. 

“Hello, Bugaboo!” Chat called out as she landed on the roof side beside him. 

“Hello, kitty,” Ladybug returned, “It’s always a pleasure to see you, as you know, but I’m hoping we can make this quick? I have a big day.” 

“Same,” he nodded, “I’m short on time as well.” Here he let a big grin loose, and said, as if he couldn’t contain himself in his joy, “I’m getting married.” 

Ladybug gasped. 

“You’re kidding!”

He shook his head. 

“That’s insane. I am too!” she continued, bumping him lightly with her hip. 

Chat snickered. 

“I’m the ying to your yang, right? We’re on the same wavelength!” 

Ladybug laughed. 

An explosion boomed from the north of them. 

“Let’s get to it, hmm?” said Ladybug, slinging her yoyo in the direction of whatever today’s brand of catastrophe would be. 

“Right behind you,” Chat said, taking a running leap. 

****** 

Hawkmoth was apparently bringing out all the stops today. Who knows how much time had passed as Ladybug and Chat Noir faced off against the overpowered, claustrophobia-themed akuma he’d sent out. 

It didn’t help that the longer the two spent struggling, the more their banter and confident energy drained. The time constraint only served to raise the stakes, which didn’t exactly translate to “the superheroes at their best.”

Angoisse, who wore the grossest (bright yellow and somber grey) bodysuit Ladybug had ever seen, had the power to trap people in tiny opaque boxes. Pretty standard akuma. The formula tended to be “something bad happens = does that bad thing to other people.” Hawkmoth was getting bored, it seemed, after all these years. He rarely got too creative. 

Still, the infamous super villain had managed to create a serious challenge this time around, formula or not. 

So, one thing led to another. 

That is to say… Ladybug and Chat Noir got trapped in a teeny, tiny box together. No way out, and hardly any wiggle room. 

Both their timers were running out, so they stood with their eyes closed, waiting for the telltale sparkly, ultra-shiny glow of detransformation. 

What they hadn’t expected was Marinette’s wedding dress. With the poofiest bell shaped skirt to ever exist (or, as close to that as Marinette could reasonably achieve), it was about four or so feet in diameter. It suddenly sprang into existence, and shoved Chat back towards the opposite wall. 

A few things happened, in quick succession. 

Both Marinette and Chat’s eyes involuntarily opened in momentary shock. 

Before Marinette could squeeze her eyes shut, Chat lost his skin tight super suit, in favor of a tuxedo (designed by none other than Marinette). 

A few moments pause, for shock. Here we find lots of rapid blinking, and loss of words. 

“Holy sh-” Adrien started. 

“You’re not supposed to see the dress!” Marinette suddenly squealed, lunging for Adrien. 

She covered his eyes, and he burst out laughing. 

“It’s you!” he almost yelled, his smile so supernova it was probably visible from Mars and rivaled the sun. 

She let out some panicked giggles, which soon became full out cackling. Uncovering his eyes, she grabbed his arms and tucked her face into his neck, shaking with mirth. 

“It’s you…” she returned, then let out one last snort. “I think we might miss our wedding, dear.” 

He enveloped her in a hug. 

“Ehh,” he shrugged, “We’ll elope.” 

Marinette let out a mock shriek. 

“Not on your life, Adrien Agreste!” she pulled back to give him her best imitation of her mother’s sternest face. “What will the families say?!” 

He slowly shook his head, staring at her in earnest wonder. 

“I can’t believe you’re Ladybug,” he said, “The love of my life and my best friend are the same person.” 

“I can’t believe you’re Chat Noir,” Marinette cried, “You’re like, my two favorite people! In one!” 

The two stared at each other, dumbstruck, for a few moments. 

“This is so surreal,” Marinette finally said, “...But also it somehow makes sense? Of course you’re Chat Noir. No one else makes puns as bad as you two-I mean, as you do.” 

“I feel kind of dumb for not realizing sooner,” he said, “We’re total idiots, right?” 

“Total idiots,” she agreed, “Total idiots who are in loooove!” 

“We’re getting married!” Adrien exclaimed. 

“Today! And we’re all dressed up!” Marinette said, “I can’t believe I’m marrying Chat Noir. You! Adrien! Adrien Noir! Chat Agreste!” 

“I’m marrying Ladybug,” Adrien smirked, making the resemblances to his alter ego even more striking, “Fourteen year old me would be over the moon. And you’re Marinette! I’ve got to be the luckiest guy in the world.” 

Marinette leapt forward, kissing him. He let out a surprised gasp, before returning it.  

 “I hope we don’t miss the cake,” she breathed, pulling back. 

“At our own wedding?” Adrien chuckled, a little breathless himself. “I think they’ll wait for us before they get into the cake, sweetie.” 

“You might miss the cake if we don’t bust out of here!” Plagg suddenly interrupted. “I’ve given you like… five minutes for your disgusting love fest. Now you’ve gotta bust us out!” 

“Plagg’s right,” Tikki sighed, sounded disappointed, “Can this be postponed?”

Marinette nodded, digging macarons out of the pockets she’d been very adamant about sewing into her dress. 

“I hope this is alright,” she said to Plagg, “I don't know what you normally eat.” 

Within seconds the dynamic duo was back in costume. 

“Ready, dear wife?” Chat asked, pressing a quick kiss to his lady’s mouth. 

“Not your wife yet, kitty,” Ladybug winked. “I’m ready. Let’s do this!” 

Chat destroyed the box with his signature Cataclysm! 

Spirits were definitely lifted, and the second part of the fight went much quicker than the first. Within ten, twenty minutes Ladybug had purified the akuma and restored the city to its previous, un-rampaged, glory. 

“We’re so late,” Ladybug said, fistbumping her partner. 

“We are!” Chat said. “I’m kind of too happy right now to care.” 

“Me too!” 

They beamed at each other for a moment. 

“Race you,” Ladybug finally said, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“You’re on!” 

***** 

Alya and Sabine were understandably a little mad at Marinette, who had turned up only ten minutes before the ceremony was set to begin. 

Still, she had Supreme Bride Privilege, so all was quickly forgiven. They touched up her Miraculously unruined hair and makeup, and sent her to wait with Tom as the bridal chorus quietly began. 

Marinette’s dress, the instigator of the happy revelation earlier that evening, had delicate off-the-shoulder sleeves. The dress was white, but cut short to reveal the blue underskirt that matched her eyes. Gold trim lined the bodice and waistline, and sparkly star-shaped details peppered the whole affair. Designing her own wedding dress had been possibly the most challenging, and most rewarding, creative process of Marinette’s life. 

Usually, when wearing a design she was proud of, Marinette was hyper aware of everyone’s reaction. Today, as her voluminous skirt swished along the aisle, her hand tucked into her father’s arm, she had eyes only for Adrien. 

They had already seen each other that day, but it had been in the excitement of battle, and the shock of discovering each other’s identities had superseded any other observations. Now, as Marinette milked the walk for all it was worth, moving at almost a snail’s pace, she really took a moment to take in her groom. 

His golden hair was tousled, almost sparkling in the bright mid-afternoon light streaming through the windows. His black tuxedo (with gold and blue accents, to match her own dress) fit him perfectly, and the almost imperceivable dusting of blush and mascara Chloe had insisted upon meant he looked almost too handsome for words. 

But, in all honesty, Marinette couldn't care less about any of that. 

She stared into his bright green eyes, crinkled from his dopey smile, and Marinette felt like she was coming home. She knew he felt the same way. Just like she knew she and her partner would always be an unstoppable team, just like she knew the sun would rise and the moon would set. Adrien was Chat Noir, her kitty, her best friend, the love of her life and her ultimate inspiration. She had hardly known so for even thirty minutes, but she had never known something so fully and completely as she did now. 

As she finally stepped up to the dais, she shot him a quick wink, before turning to the priest. 

Vows were exchanged. They both said their “I do”s. They gave their first kiss as a married couple. 

Later, as they sat, feet near-blistered from dancing and eyes sparkling with happiness, sharing a piece of cake, they had their second kiss. And their third. And their forth. 

“My kitty.” Marinette giggled. 

“Today was perfect, wasn’t it my lady?” 

And despite the stress, and the battle, and almost being late to her own special day, Marinette was completely sincere when she said, “Yes. Yes it was.” 

[amphtaminedreams]

Filling the Met Shaped Hole (No, Not Like That): The Best Red Carpet Looks of Awards Season 2020

Hi to anyone reading,

I want to jump straight into things and ask a question. Which is the best Met Gala theme of the last 5 years and why is it Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination?

Seriously though, despite the fact that I’m not sure anything will top Heavenly Bodies with the preceding and succeeding Met Galas being relatively disappointing (the camp theme definitely could have been taken further and lets not even talk about the Comme Des Garcons disaster), I still get excited for the gala every year, staying up til whatever hour of the morning so I can see all the fashion live. Of course, it makes complete sense that this year’s event has been postponed until October given the circumstances but the chosen theme of Fashion and Duration had the potential to be quite interesting, so I hope we do eventually get to see it; whilst I don’t miss endlessly scrolling through photos of every white male celebrity wearing the exact same suit and tie to the point where fangirls claim Harry Styles to be a pioneer of breaking gender norms because he wore a pink top, I long for the days where we could all temporarily coexist in peace and harmony thanks to the internet’s collective dragging of the Kardashians for paying no attention to the theme whatsoever. We should’ve guessed life as we know it was about to be flipped on its head when they actually turned up in something interesting last year.

What I’m trying to say is that I would love nothing more than to jump back in time to when tomorrow morning’s top Google search would be best Met Gala looks, and not how many lives did Boris Johnson’s fuckery cost us today. So in honour of the lack of trivial content, I thought I’d fill the Met shaped hole in our lives (amongst many other unfilled holes; today the freezer door at work hit me on the ass whilst I was putting ice cubes out and I think for a split second I got all flushed) by putting together a collection of my personal favourite red carpet looks from this year’s awards season and their respective afterparties: the BAFTAs, Brits, Critic’s Choice Awards, Golden Globes, Oscars, SAG Awards, and the Grammys to finish with.

Enjoy!

British Academy of Film and Television Arts Award (yes, that’s the BAFTAs but I needed a longer title)

(L-R: Zoe Kravitz in Dior, Rooney Mara in Givenchy, and Scarlett Johansson in Versace)

I am a British fan of television and arts but I will gladly say it: of all the awards ceremonies, the BAFTAs is hardly the most exciting, and the red carpet even less so. As I said, lots of boring men in boring suits and middle aged women being dressed by stylists who seem to think we’re dead from the neck down by the time we hit 40 and dress us accordingly so. Any hint of a décolletage explicitly forbidden.

There were a few good looks, however. From left to right, above we have Zoe Kravitz in Dior, Rooney Mara in Givenchy and Scarlett Johansson in Versace, who looks so amazing I almost forget that 1). Versace is going down the drain and 2). Scarlett Johansson would stand in front of a forest and take the role of a tree if she could. Which, along with her whole defence of Woody Allen, is really shit-she’s genuinely great in Marriage Story and an otherwise talented actress. As for Zoe Kravitz, she is up there with Robert Pattison as one of my biggest crushes right now and looks amazing in literally everything she wears, and Rooney Mara is consistently low-key yet elegantly dressed. 

(L-R: Greta Gerwig in Gucci, Florence Pugh in Dries Van Noten, Renee Zellweger in Prada)

Renee Zellweger proved an exception to the rule when it came to women over the age of 40 generally having clueless stylists-her dress is beautiful, very reminiscent of the delicate, demure beauty of 50s icons such as Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn. Florence’s dress, I actually really loved. It didn’t seem to go down all too well with actual Florence Pugh fans but red and pink together is an elite combo; I’m still firmly on the “surprised that it works but I’m into it” train. I mainly included Greta’s dress for the green velvet, to be honest; it’s disappointingly low-key for Gucci but nice enough all the same.

(L-R: Andrew Scott in Paul Smith, Charlize Theron in Dior, Daisy Ridley in Oscar de la Renta, and Emilia Clarke in Schiaparelli)

I was particularly excited to see Emilia Clarke in Schiaparelli-yes, I adore her because she played Daenerys Targaryen and I was ride or die for that bitch but also whenever I see her interviewed she has the most exuberant energy and honestly I want to be best friends. It’s not the most interesting dress Schiaparelli has ever put out there, but I like the fact that she went for something unique all the same.

Forest green is a colour I find hard to resist which is why I included Andrew Scott’s otherwise kinda basic suit (points for it being velvet) and Daisy Ridley in Oscar de la Renta. As elegant as the dress is, I would love for her stylist to have really leaned into the forest nymph vibes I’m getting and do something a bit less uptight with the hair and makeup; like imagine loose curls with tiny braids and hair rings and a dark lip and a slight smoke around the eye and...yes, I have very specific visions, I know. As for Charlize Theron, her work with Dior is the only reason I care about the brand; there’s definitely a case to be made here for giving Maria Grazia the benefit of the doubt, assuming that she tries all the prototypes on women who look like Charlize and that that’s why she’s happy to send dresses that are otherwise relatively underwhelming down the runway. 

The Brit Awards

(L-R: Charli XCX in Fendi, Ellie Goulding in Koche, Hailee Steinfeld in Fendi, and Harry Styles in Gucci)

In my opinion a much better reflection of quintessential British style than the BAFTAs, I originally ruled out including any music award ceremony red carpets in this post until I saw Maya Jama and Charli XCX’s looks. Consider me pleasantly surprised by Hailee Steinfeld’s cobalt blue burnout dress, a classic incarnation of the regal bohemian aesthetic Fendi channelled in their 2019 haute couture show. Plus Charli’s emo take on Glinda the Good Witch is also Fendi, driving home for me just how much I love their collections. I don’t know if I’d be sure about Ellie Goulding’s dress on the rack but the simple styling makes it work and she looks gorgeous, and Harry Styles looks just as pretty in a Gucci look that is MADE for him.

(L-R: Adwoah Aboah in Vivienne Westwood, Celeste in Gucci on the far right! I’m not sure who the guy in the middle is, I’m sorry and if anybody knows drop me a message and I will correct this immediately!)

Unfortunately, Harry Styles and Celeste didn’t get to pose together because this is really a perfect his and hers Gucci look; I feel like seeing one outfit next to the other would really highlight the quirky elegance of each. That being said, it feels criminal to talk about elegance without including Adwoah Aboah in Vivienne Westwood in the sentence; the dress is obviously stunning quality on its own merit, but Adwoah is what elevates it from unremarkable to ethereal. Fuck the weird ass knight figure that’s currently on top of the Brit Award, this woman is the definition of statuesque! Put her on top of the trophy you cowards!

And just to get it out of the way, when it comes to the guy in the middle, to quote Keke Palmer:

Sorry to this man.

Honestly, I saved all the red carpet photos from a Nylon (I think it was Nylon?) article back when the awards aired and towards the end of the photos they stopped including names-this happened a few times when I was looking through red carpet galleries. I reverse image searched where I could but not every photo turned anything up. If anyone does know who this man is, message me so I can include his name. He looks sick, and as far as suits go, this one is built upon and accessorised enough that it’s actually a look rather than the same old variation of a suit we’ve seen a million times before that may as well be the straight man’s designated red carpet uniform. 

(L-R: Maya Jama, Neh Neh Cherry in Bottega Veneta, Laura Whitmore)

And now the woman that forced me to include the Brits red carpet in this post in the first place: Maya Jama. Don’t get me wrong, my mind isn’t blown by this dress on its own, I probably prefer Laura Whitmore’s (Jaded do a similar newspaper dress and I’ve resisted adding it to my basket for 6 months now, this is the ultimate test of whether or not I finally cave), but Maya looks fucking MAGNIFICENT. The fit, the gloves, the confidence with which she carries it, it’s all SO good. Considering the timing, this is basically her Princess Diana revenge dress levelled up, 2020′s Jessica Rabbit moment. 

(L-R: Maya Jama, Ellie Goulding, Kendall Jenner)

Obviously anything is gonna be a step down from the red carpet look but Maya’s Brits afterparty outfit was cute too, if a tad Pretty Little Thing. 

Don’t ask me what Kendall Jenner was doing at the Brits afterparty btw, because I have no idea. We live in a world where the Kardashian-Jenners just seem to occupy every public space possible and I’ve begrudgingly accepted it at this point. I don’t have the energy to question it-and it helps that green catsuit is actually Very Cool™. 

For the last of my favourite Brit Awards looks, we have a few more afterparty photos-from left to right we have Charli XCX again, Lizzo, and Anne Marie. It was Charli posting her dress on Instagram that sent me searching for afterparty looks in the first place; apparently wearing nothing but feathers and crystals is something that appeals to me, and the more I read that statement, the more it sounds spot-on. I’d categorise it as gothic glamour hoe, and slot it in with the rest of the night-out clothes in my wardrobe that I think I’ll finally have the balls to wear out of sheer desperation once this lockdown is over. The Blossom to Charli XCX’s Buttercup here, we’ve also got Anne Marie looking extra AF and I loveeeee it; it’s an ensemble somewhere between a high-end version of Alaska Thunderfuck’s candyfloss Sugar Ball dress from season 5 of Drag Race (Alaska DID deserve to win AS2 nation, rise up) and a low-key version of a Katy Perry California Dreams Tour costume. I don’t call it low-key as a drag, just a regretful admission of the fact that maybe wearing a cupcake bra which squirts whipped cream out of the boobs is a bit too much for most of us. 

Critic’s Choice Awards

(L-R: Alison Brie in Brandon Maxwell, Chloe Bridges in Azeeza, Cynthia Erivo in Fendi, Florence Pugh in Prada)

I was going to say the Critic’s Choice Awards is kind of America’s version of the BAFTAs but then I remembered that the BAFTAs is really the only big TV and film awards ceremony we have here in the UK and that it’s kind of sad that I have to compare our most high-profile red carpet of the year to L.A’s most low-key one. Getting Cynthia Erivo and Florence Pugh to infiltrate is the best we can do. 

THAT BEING SAID! 

They both look amazing. This is Florence’s best red carpet look of this year, imo (she the prettiest icicle I’ve ever seen), and Cynthia Erivo’s arm must ache from serving the entire awards season. And in Fendi! Taste!

Side note before we move onto the next set of looks: has anybody else watched Alison Brie in Mad Men and Community simultaneously and experienced the extreme cognitive dissonance that comes from watching her play a tragically nerdy (relatable tbh) 18 year old and an overly-sophisticated 30 something married to an ad man in the 60s at the same time? Weird, but anyway! The orange dress with the red lipstick is channelling Marina Diamandis’ Froot era style subtle sex appeal and is a timeless, playful combo. Put the hair up into a beehive and it’s Megan Draper on a date in Cabo-don’t know much about the place but I know the sea is aqua and the sun seekers are blindingly white and the cocktails are plentiful (and whatever colour you want them to be), and all that together is a juicy palette if we’re talking cinematography. The Mad Men directors are out there somewhere shaking their fists at the sky that they never got to consult me on that, I’m sure. 

(L-R: Phoebe Waller-Bridge in Dior, Saoirse Ronan in Erdem and Zendaya in Tom Ford)

Zendaya’s red carpet look was the stand out of the Critic’s Choice Awards for sure; the skirt I can do without but I hope that hot pink metal breastplate ends up on display somewhere because that is ART, and she is the perfect person to wear it. The Tiffany Pollard “she's so powerful” meme was made for this moment. 

Also, can we talk about Phoebe Waller-Bridge backing up my Dior 2019 Haute Couture wasn’t *that* bad hypothesis? Because unless I’m mistaken this is one of the dresses from that collection and it is quite beautiful. Yeah, black mesh isn’t going to start a revolution or anything but it’s so delicate looking it almost seems out of place on a red carpet-I don’t know if it’s the structure of the bodice or the tulle but I can totally see this in a gothic ballet, whether that’s sensible in theory or not. Probably not. But then again I did quit ballet when I was 10 after months of getting people to near poke me in the eye on the way out of class so it would look like I’d been crying and I didn’t have to go to my lessons after school. So what do I know? Fuck all, in case that wasn’t clear. I also feel a little vindicated by Saoirse wearing one of the Erdem dresses I loved from last year’s collection-if multi-award winning actress Saoirse Ronan’s probably ridiculously well-paid stylist liked it enough to pick it out for her then I guess I’m doing okay in terms of taste levels.

(L-R: Olivia Wilde in Valentino, Lucy Hale in Miu Miu, Mandy Moore in Elie Saab, and Margaret Qualley in Chanel)

The last few Critics Choice Awards looks I picked out above aren’t thrilling or anything but they’re cute enough to include-from left to right we have Olivia Wilde in Valentino, Lucy Hale in Miu Miu, Mandy Moore in Elie Saab and Margaret Qualley in Chanel. It’s kind of besides the point, but Margaret worked with Chanel throughout awards season and I just wanted to add my two cents in here and say that I think she’s the perfect person to collaborate with (also think Laura Harrier would be a good match, anyone agree?) and that in a similar vein, I urge Miu Miu, the creative directors of which I’m sure are eagerly awaiting the opinion of irrelevant Tumblr user amphtaminedreams, to work with Lucy Hale more often. I feel like if girl stopped starring in those shitty Blumhouse horrors and did something a bit more sophisticated she’d fit the brand right down to a T.

The Golden Globes

(L-R: Cynthia Erivo in Thom Browne, Dakota Fanning in Dior, Jane Levy in Steven Khalil, and Janina Gavankar in Georges Chakra)

Finally! I hear you cry! A more exciting red carpet! It’s not the Oscars, but celebrity stylists still pulled the big guns for this one, the Golden Globes probably being considered the second most prestigious American awards ceremony of the year. Plus Dakota Fanning was there! Big yay for me! She and Elle can practically do no wrong in my eyes and are probably the only 2 women that could take on Dakota Johnson and Jennifer Lawrence when it comes to established red carpet style. 

Cynthia Erivo did it again, of course, as slick, as dignified and as regal as she was at the Critic’s Choice. The woman really has got this power stance thing locked down; she always seems so cool and confident in everything she wears that the whole getting dressed up to go out out out (we call going to the club going “out out”, but I’d say a red carpet is a slightly bigger deal than my local club with the sticky floors hence the 3rd out) thing looks like second nature.

(L-R: Zoey Deutch in Fendi, Karamo Brown in Grayscale, Lucy Boynton in Louis Vuitton and Kat Graham in Georges Hobeika)

Lucy Boynton was another of my Golden Globes stand outs, and in general is someone who I really look forward to seeing at red carpet events. She (or her stylist, I don’t know how much of a role she plays!) always seems to commit fully to an outfit and sees it as part of a whole concept where the makeup, hair and accessories are equally as important and that is a girl after my own heart. 60s space age empress is the theme here and I’m all about it-well, either that or a feminine editorial take on the tinman from the Wizard of Oz but the former sounds a bit cooler and does way more justice to how good she looks so we’ll go with that. Quick shoutout to Kat Graham too because she looked absolutely radiant. 

(L-R: Shailene Woodley in Balmain, Winnie Harlow in Laquan Smith, and Zoe Kravitz in Saint Laurent)

The trio above I really couldn’t skim over, Winnie Harlow especially; my America’s Next Top Model grudges aside, she consistently turns it out at every event she’s invited to. She’s another woman that wears pieces with such confidence that they look like they were actually made on her body-even if the garment itself isn’t the most breathtaking in the room, she’s the one that draws my attention. Though she’s got these dainty, other-worldly qualities about her, what you’d expect to be a gentle presence is firm and commanding and whilst the sharp drama and glitz of the dress probably helps, that’s just the way Winnie Harlow is naturally, based on her other red carpet appearances. 

Zoe Kravitz is an interesting one because, on the one hand, her looking amazing with that bone structure (I would trade a vital organ to look like that any day) is a given, but it does also seem like she went out of her way to do something a bit different this past awards season. I have always loved her street style for its trademark edge and the androgynous, oversized silhouettes that she leans towards, and the overt femininity of her red carpet dresses is that grungy, skater girl aesthetic completely flipped on its head. It’s cute, and if anyone can pull a dress as kitschy as this off, it’s Zoe. She’s got that just rolled out of bed look we all dream of that screams “I’m over this shit” whereas the rest of us have to rely on dark circles to get the message across. It’s very weird to think that she and Shailene Woodley were in Divergent together, especially since Zoe in particular has changed so much since. 

My main note with Shailene was just that I got excited to see that Balmain dress off the runway-it was one of my favourites from the S/S 2020 collection (IIRC, mostly on the basis that I’m pretty sure it wan’t haute couture), and it looks good! Not wildly good because I’m not sure the fit of the dress is inherently all that flattering, but still good-she makes it work.

(L-R: Taylor Swift in Etro, Sofia Carson in Giambattista Valli and Scarlett Johansson in Vera Wang)

I know a lot of people online didn’t seem to like Taylor Swift’s dress, but she looks cute, imo. I will say that I’m surprised it’s Etro! At first glance I would’ve thought Carolina Herrera or Oscar de la Renta or something along those lines. And predictably, I think Sofia Carson looks flawless. If you’ve read any of my other posts you’re probably sick of hearing it but I really can’t resist anything that is this modern Disney princess, like powder pink layered tulle? Feathers? What did you expect me to say, ew? I think deep down my clothing preferences will always be that of a 9 year old girl and you know what, that’s okay. Sometimes. Well, when it comes to red carpets. That’s when you can kinda get away with it.

(L-R: Bell Powley in Miu Miu, Billy Porter in Alex Vinash, and Charlize Theron in Dior)

There’s a few things worth mentioning when it comes to the above outfits. Firstly, and most importantly, I need to proclaim my love for Billy Porter. No man is doing it like him, honestly. To compare Harry Styles in his pink suits is unfair. The drama and the beauty and the flair that Billy brings every awards ceremony is on another level and that’s all I have to say about that. If you disagree, I’m gonna need a bullet pointed essay-I am that firm in my opinion.

Second, Bell Powley in Miu Miu semi confirms the direction their PR team tend to head in when choosing women to work with. I might be totally alone here but I feel like she and Lucy Hale both have one of those porcelain doll faces which work really well with Miu Miu’s signature girlish silhouettes and overly-ornate details. 

And thirdly, just to restate my earlier point: someone give Charlize Theron a pat on the back for bringing some life to a Dior design. That is all.

(L-R: Jodie Comer in Mary Katrantzou, Joey King in Schiaparelli and Kaitlyn Dever in Valentino)

All the newcomers really turned it out too, which is a sentence I type through gritted teeth; to call Jodie Comer of My Mad Fat Diary origins a newcomer pains the former depressing 2013 black and white Tumblr user in me, though I suppose to the US audiences uncultured in the ways of British teenage angst Vilanelle is her breakthrough role. And how Vilanelle is this dress too!? It’s bold and it’s attention-grabbing and it’s fun and it is definitely very theatrical female fictional villain that you were inexplicably drawn to as a child before you realised why as an adult-”oh, it’s because she was hot”. 

Joey King in Iris van Herpen was a pleasant surprise too considering that when I first looked through the red carpet photos I only knew her as the girl who was in that shitty Netflix original-having watched her in The Act, I apologise for the dismissal! And I admire the sartorial choice! I adore Iris van Herpen designs but as a short girl, wearing one of her dresses to a red carpet event is a risky decision-I hate to admit it because casting a diverse range of people for shows is something I have come to expect of my favourite brands, but the appeal of a lot of IvH pieces comes from the movement of the garments on standard willowy runway models. Fortunately, the styling is really complementary here, and whilst it can’t be denied that the dress itself does swamp her a bit, I liked that she and her stylist stepped out of the box. 

Kaitlyn Dever’s red carpet look is obviously a lot more typical, but you can't go wrong with a Valentino dress, and this one in particular is so suited to the aura she gives off-it’s young and it’s fun and it’s fresh and the intricate floral print, otherwise muted if not for the spring influenced pops of pink and red, is timelessly pretty.

(L-R: Akwafina in Dior, Saoirse Ronan in Celine, Beanie Feldstein in Oscar de la Renta, and Renee Zellweger in Armani)

Lastly, there was Saoirse Ronan in Celine-one of my highlights of the night; she looked phenomenal, a glacial toned dream, and it was pretty different to what I generally expect to see her in. I might be way off base and in need of a bit of a review of her red carpet style, but I feel like she usually leans more towards pretty than edgy with regards to her styling at these kinds of events and a loose fitting, gun metal glittered slip dress is, imo, the perfect way to hit that previously uncharted midway point between the two.

(L-R: Kate Bosworth in Prabal Gurung, Kathryn Newton in Valentino and Sarah Hyland)

Now onto the afterparty looks, and I’m not gonna lie, they’re usually the highlight of the ceremonies for me; I feel like the initial ceremony is all about looking respectful and maintaining that whole dedicated actor image, whereas it seems the literal point of these showbiz parties is a competition to be the best dressed person in the room. Competition really makes people step their game up, and we always get to see more young talent whose style tends to be more current than that of the people we see on the red carpet. 

I’ve got to say, as annoying as I found her character in The Society, I have to overlook that gut instinct of irritation when I see Kathryn Newton and accept how stunning everything going on here is; honestly, she looks like an angel, and I feel like the team at Valentino must reeeeally like her to put her in that dress.

(L-R: Alexa Demie, Ashley Benson in Georges Hobeika, Maude Apatow and Barbie Ferreira)

Obviously I was super excited to see the Euphoria girls on the red carpet, especially Alexa Demie-she does 90s/early noughties inspired glamour better than anyone else on the young actor scene right now and her personal style and the sass she does so well as Maddy Perez shines through every time. Whilst Barbie Ferreira’s look is more casual and achievable for the rest of us in terms of wearability, it’s just as interesting a take on the same period; the delicate pink makeup, hair and jewellery with the 90s inspired slip dress in light teal is a red carpet take on soft grunge for the ages. As for Ashley Benson, she always looks gorgeous and that’s all I’m gonna say before I get emotional and start going into a rant about how her and Cara Delevigne’s relationship was one of the only good things about this shitshow of a year and how now that they’ve broken up the single flame of hope inside me has been extinguished and how their sex swing is gonna get so lonely with them caught in the middle of an ugly custody battle and-

You get the idea.

(L-R: Storm Reid, Sophia Bush in John Paul Ataker, and Sydney Sweeney)

(L-R: Billie Lourd, Paris Hilton, and Camila Morrone)

The Oscars

(L-R: Charlize Theron in Dior, Cynthia Erivo, and Florence Pugh in Louis Vuitton)

Ah, the Oscars. This is where the big money is really spent, and bad decisions are made-in fairness, this year’s winners were a lot more satisfying than usual and I think all of us felt that Parasite was a well-deserved win. I really thought it was gonna be Once Upon a Time in Hollywood just as a bit of a token gesture to Tarantino considering it’s his 9th film, though undoubtedly his worst of the ones I’ve seen, so I was relieved that this wasn’t the case. That being said, it still pains me to see the horror genre being ignored by the academy-in my mind, Florence is here for her performance in Midsommar just as much as Little Women. 

At the risk of getting repetitive, just assume my opinions on Charlize Theron in Dior here are the same again, that Cynthia Erivo is still bringing goddess energy (this is probably my favourite of her looks), and that against the opinion of the masses, Florence looks divine in this colour. I mean, when I say the masses I just mean the people I follow on Twitter, but still, I just wanted be an excuse to be dramatic so that I could insert a meme.

(L-R: Natalie Portman in Dior, Regina King in Versace, Scarlett Johansson in Oscar de la Renta, and Sandra Oh in Elie Saab)

Once again, Scarlett Johansson’s stylist is doing God’s work; this outfit is everythingggg-the Oscar de la Renta dress is probably my favourite thus far. Like we’re talking angel, but make it fitted and sexy, and I hope you read that in the Tyra Banks voice I intended because 2 memes in a row would rob me of any credibility I’m building as a fashion account and I’m not ready to trash that for bad memes just yet; give it a couple of mental breakdowns and I’ll be there. Natalie Portman’s look was a favourite of mine too, with the cape over the top adding a sophisticated touch to the celestial, slightly bohemian feel of the dress. I initially found the detail of the names embroidered into said cape to be quite moving-in a dream world, directing would be my career of choice and so I really admired the statement-but finding out that Portman herself is the only director hired by her own production company ruined that for me a little bit. Then again, multi-millionaire celebrities making performative gestures for good publicity and not doing all that much to make any real change? Colour me shocked.

(L-R: Beanie Feldstein in Miu Miu, Brie Larson in Celine and Billie Eilish in Chanel)

Now, of all the Miu Miu looks so far, I think Beanie Feldstein definitely got the best one. The intricacy of the embroidery, the silhouette, the old Hollywood stye curls-it’s all so graceful. I’d say this is probably her best look of awards season and she and her stylist did a really great job.

And as for Billie Eilish...Guys...do you think she might be wearing...Chanel...by any chance? I’m not sure.

Seriously though, as far as an oversized tweed suit with the brand’s logo emblazoned all over it goes, I like this look. The acid green roots and the jewellery are what make it for me, adding to the grunginess of the outfit which is interesting against Chanel’s prim and proper aesthetic of the last few years. I know she has good reason for the way she dresses, but I’ve never quite been able to appreciate it-this outfit proves to me that her style doesn't automatically equal ugly and occasionally, she can make it work.

(L-R: Leona Lewis, Colton Haynes, Dita von Teese)

Elton John’s Oscars afterparty being the less exciting of the two big ones in terms of fashion-the other being the Vanity Fair afterparty which I’ll cover in a moment-I thought I’d whizz through it (posturing aside though, I bet Sir Elton’s party was a lot more fun).

(L-R: Chiara Ferragni, Donatella Versace, Bella Thorne)

This is a big statement considering Alexa Demie attended, but I think Chiara’s outfit and overall styling might be my favourite of the partygoers; if they decided to do a live action Barbie film in 2020 minus the PG ratio-because lets be real, she’d be a noughties Paris Hilton type and get up to some SHENANIGANS-this is the look that would become iconic. 

(L-R: Ashley Greene in Off-White, Alexa Demie, Sydney Sweeney, Annalynne McCord)

It was a hard decision to make though: I’m just as into Sydney Sweeney’s interpretation of burlesque come 1950s red carpet Barbie, Ashley Greene’s surprisingly delicate Off-White number, and Alexa’s dress and (as always) impeccable styling. That being said, Chiara’s clearest contender here for the best dressed of the night is Annalynne McCord. I know I'm one to throw similes around but she looks like an ACTUAL Disney princess-the dress is magical and an absolutely flawless fit. She carries it with such grace. I'm truly in love.

(L-R: Tessa Thompson in Versace, Vanessa Hudgens in Vera Wang, SZA)

As for the Vanity Fair Oscars afterparty, there were SO many iconic moments this year. SZA was the definition of the fire emoji, Tessa Thompson’s throwback Versace was the mermaid’s take on BDSM fashion I never knew I need to see, and I’d die to turn up to my graduation ceremony (here’s hoping for a successful attempt at the old uni shebang this time, lol) looking as elegant and simultaneously extra as Vanessa Hudgens did in Vera Wang. I mean, this was before Vanessa went on her dumb Instagram live corona rant because she was upset she couldn’t go to Coachella and I still kinda lived for her, mostly because of moments like this. She’s always been the queen of channelling a more hedonistic, carefree era and this dress is the most refined example of that boho decadence yet. It sounds dramatic to say but the rich purple is such a bold choice considering it’s a a colour we rarely see on the red carpet but now I’ve seen eggplant coloured silk I need it, lol. 

(L-R: Suki Waterhouse in Fendi, Lili Reinhart in Marc Jacobs, Lucy Boynton and Margaret Qualley in Chanel)

Then there was Suki, Lilly, Lucy and Margaret as well who all went full angel mode in some of my favourite runway looks of last summer’s haute couture week; Suki’s Fendi dress and Lili’s Marc Jacobs number were highlights of both their shows and there’s something even more magical about them both when the uniformity of the runway is removed. I also would go on about how much I love Lucy Boynton’s style for the millionth time but I think you get my point.

(L-R: Nicole Richie, Cynthia Erivo, Hunter Schafer, Billie Porter)

The more I look at the photos I saved from the Vanity Fair “red” carpet, the more I come to the firm conclusion that these looks are my favourite as a collective. Along with the elegance and sex appeal of the outfits above, we’ve got all these looks too which are so VIBRANT and fun and experimental. Billie Porter is absolutely majestic and continues his reign as the king of in-your-face, theatrical red carpet style, and Hunter and Cynthia look so radiant. Whilst Nicole’s look isn’t as colourful, she still brought drama with the satin gloves and the smoke lined eyes, and she is definitely ready to step on someone’s neck here.

(L-R: Halima Aden, Ella Balinska in Schiaparelli, Emma Roberts, Ciara)

(L-R: Kiki Layne in Michael Kors, Kim Kardashian in Alexander McQueen, Kylie Jenner in Ralph and Russo, Lashana Lynch in Michael Kors)

(L-R: Rowan Blanchard in Iris van Herpen, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Stella Maxwell, and Sarah Paulson with Holland Taylor)

I’ve got to say, it’s really cool to see Rowan Blanchard in Iris van Herpen too; it’s interesting that as far as I know, she and Joey King were the only ones to wear her this awards season, both being up and coming actresses. It would be a good choice for the brand, probably best known for its futuristic, conceptual aesthetic, to also focus its PR efforts on the young potential inheriting that future. Orrrr it could just be that Rowan, Joey and I have the same (good, lol) taste-not gonna lie, from my experience of stalking her instagram Rowan Blanchard does make some unique fashion choices and her feed is full of bold outfit inspiration.

(L-R: Adriana Lima in Ralph and Russo, Alessandra Ambrosio in Armani, Billie Eilish in Gucci, and Donatella Versace in Versace)

Then there’s Billie Eilish, who is really on another level. This is her second custom made baggy suit of the night, this time Gucci. IMAGINE. Chanel and Gucci making custom pieces to suit your very specific style. Again, though, I really like this; whilst it’s very clearly a Billie outfit, it’s got a level of sophistication, cohesiveness and glamour to it that takes it to that I can admire. 

(L-R: Camila Mendes in Moschino, Barbara Palvin and Dylan Sprouse, and Chiara Ferragni)

Honestly, the Vanity Fair red carpet really belonged to young talent this year, and Camila Mendes in one of my favourite Moschino looks from the Picasso collection really seals it. She could’ve just gone for a basic pretty dress-this isn’t a natural choice-but she really does have the proud, regal look of a woman who knows some man is gonna paint her a portrait that will end up in a famous gallery one day. 

One last thing before I move on, though. How the fuck does Chiara Ferragni get everywhere?! And by that I don’t mean how does she get invited, I had the shock of finding out this woman I followed on Instagram because I liked her outfits and thought she was pretty is a hugely successful businesswoman in Italy long ago. Power to her. She’s a big deal! I get it! I just mean, physically HOW? How do you hit Elton John’s party AND the Vanity Fair party in one night and look this good? God really does have favourites, huh. Well, I guess in this hypothetical scenario where I believe in him anyway. 

The SAG Awards

(L-R: Dakota Fanning in Valentino, Kaitlyn Dever in Ralph Lauren, Scarlett Johansson in Armani, and Zoe Kravitz in Oscar de la Renta)

So, I kinda forgot the SAG awards existed and thought that my post was basically finished before I looked in my folder and saw the one dedicated to this ceremony. My initial reaction was like “oh, this is the shitty Oscars, right?” and I assumed the red carpet would be shit and that I could call it a night-it’s 3:30am, I wish I was calling it a night-but then I looked and saw that I had even more outfit photos saved in that folder than I did for my Oscar dedicated one. Because fuck, I want to to sleep, but the SAG awards had a surprisingly good turn out?! So maybe not as irrelevant a ceremony as I thought? Because Dakota Fanning turned up looking like some divine mythical being again, Scarlett Johansson pulled another incredible look out the bag, Zoe Kravitz was a modernised Audrey Hepburn, and Kaitlyn Dever read my comments about her dress being “timelessly pretty” and said “bitch, you really thought” before showing up looking hot as fuck. Truth be told, I think the SAG awards were first but in this universe where Kaitlyn Dever would pay any attention to my opinion of her outfit do we really care? 

(L-R: America Ferrera, Andrew Scott in Azzaro Couture, Camila Mendes in Ralph and Russo, Caleb McLaughlin )

(L-R: Lupita Nyongo in Louis Vuitton, Lily Allen, Nathalie Emmanuel in Miu Miu, Cynthia Erivo in Schiaparelli)

See, I was going to make a comment above how I took back what I said about Camila Mendes not just going for pretty dresses (which I guess I just did here instead-JUST TO BE CLEAR SHE STILL LOOKS STUNNING) and then I uploaded the next photo set and got distracted by 2 things:

1. How weird it is that British legend Lily Allen, who does not get NEAR enough credit for her smart her songs were might I add, is dating David Harbour AKA. Hopper off Stranger Things!?

2. How mad I still am about Game of Thrones and how dirty the writers did Nathalie Emmanuel (and Emilia Clarke and Lena Heady and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and basically everyone else on that show but that’s another story).

In this same universe where Kaitlyn Dever cares about my opinion can we make the issues I have in the last bullet point not exist? Please?

(L-R: Sophie Turner in Louis Vuitton, Renee Zellweger in Maison Margiela, Phoebe Waller-Bridge in Armani, and Renee Bargh)

(L-R: Gwendoline Christie in Rick Owens, Madeline Brewer in Monique Lhuillier, Kathryn Newton in Valentino, and Lili Reinhart in Miu Miu)

Finishing off the SAG looks, we’ve got the four above. 

Once again, Kathryn Newton was Valentino’s blushing crown jewell; Allie Pressman hate aside, she really is the perfect dressing up doll for the brand. Fresh faced and poised, she has all the elegance and gentle femininity necessary to make floating down the runway as Valentino models do look natural, and Lili Reinhart did an equally good job being a Miu Miu girl. She makes that idiosyncratic cutesy-ness work, all the frills and fragility of a china tea set look easy where I’d just look like I’d been consumed by a charity shop doily. Madeline Brewer did a good job too, helping a Monique Lhuillier design pop in a way that it doesn’t usually. When your hair is bright red and your dress cerulean blue, coral tinted lipstick is a *ahem* choice, buuut in this case it paid off because the result is a look which demanded my attention-ML dresses are reliably pretty, however, they tend to be predictable. Madeline and her styling did a good job subverting that formula. To end the section, though, I feel it’s only fair to save my fave woman til last-probably one of the few people in the world that isn’t a Rick Owens model that can pull off his designs. Ofc, I’m talking about the queen that is Gwendoline Christie. If we’re talking embodying brands, she did justice like nobody else could to the spectacle of Owens’ formidable, out-of-this-world aesthetic. This is her version of the princess moment, and when you’re as striking as she is, nothing less would do. 

At least my girl Brienne of Tarth is thriving<3

The Grammys

(L-R: Ariana Grande in Giambattista Valli, Cardi B in Mugler, and Pia Mia in Julien Macdonald)

TBH, like I said with the Brits, I never planned to do any music award ceremony red carpets, just because I feel like the fashion tends to be more geared towards a younger audience buuuut I’m kinda glad I changed because Ariana looks INCREDIBLE. MESMERISING. TRANSCENDENT. JFC. There’s a reason the photo of her on her Wiki page has been changed to one from this night and it’s because she looks absolutely exquisite, like some kind of moon goddess with an R&B touch which I suppose is kind of her brand? Sometimes I go kind of lukewarm on Giambattista Valli and forget how mystical but at the same time frothy and indulgent and all around luxurious the pieces can be. This is a cupcake of a dress and I want to eat it. Cardi B has become a bit of an unexpected fashion icon and Pia Mia looks as hot-party-girl as ever but I feel to put anyone next to Ariana in this dress seems harsh because she just completely stole the show and I don’t even know if she won any Grammys.

(L-R: Josephine Relli, Gwen Stefani, Jameela Jamil in Georges Chakra, and Chrissy Teigen in Yanina Couture)

Other than Ariana, I’m not gonna lie, there was nothing wildly exciting, BUT I did think there were some beautiful colours out on the runway-plus for all her occasionally bad takes I really like what Jameela Jamil stands for and her style has always been very quirky cool. The electric blue tiled effect with the black mesh underneath kinda reminds me of a peacock, and contrasts wonderfully with the carpet-it’s very reminiscent of her T4 days. She’s one of those people that seems to get aggression directed at her that’s completely disproportionate to whatever it is she’s supposed to have done; sometimes the way she goes about saying things is wrong but the intention behind what she’s saying is usually good. Then again, the internet still despises Chrissy Teigen (in a way that’s kind of excessive considering what we seem to collectively let some people get away with) for a dumb AirPods tweet and I’ve included her too. THIS IS NOT A POLITICAL STATEMENT, this time anyway. I just think she looks good!

If I’m going to get controversial about anything, it’ll be Gwen Stefani. She looks stunning, the dress is stunning, and the boots are stunning. The outfit is not my problem! My problem is how she seems not to have aged at all. This woman is 50 years old! That she drank the blood of her Harajuku girls is the only explanation here. Can you imagine if she tried to pull that shit today? She’d get rightly accused of being a culturally appropriating weeb in about 10 seconds flat and we’d have to pretend to stop liking Cool and Hollaback Girl. 

(L-R: Finneas O’Connell in Gucci, Lucky Daye, and Shaun Ross)

(L-R: Tess Holliday, Dua Lipa in Alexander Wang, Tyler the Creator, and Grace Elizabeth in Giuseppe di Morabito)

Back to what I’m supposed to be talking about in this blog post: the fashion. And here, most importantly, Tyler the Creator looking like a cast member of the Grand Budapest Hotel. IDK why. But I love this man.

(L-R: Lil Nas X in Versace, Lizzo in Versace, and Shawn Mendes in Louis Vuitton)

(L-R: Billie Porter, FKA Twigs in Ed Marler, and Swae Lee in Giuseppe Zanotti)

See in general, the men were a lot more interesting on the Grammys red carpet. With the exception of Twigs, Dua and obviously Ariana, the men’s outfits are a lot more memorable; Billie Porter became the most fashionable meme on the internet, for god’s sake. And even when their outfits weren’t extravagant, they were just more interesting, imo, which is a rare occurrence. I didn’t expect Finneas O’Connell to be the writing half of Billie Eilish (the other half being Billie herself) I cared about and yet, in that Gucci blazer, here we are. 

(L-R: Jessie J, Hailee Steinfeld, and Madison Beer)

(L-R: H.E.R, Usher, FKA Twigs, and Matt Shultz)

Of the afterparty looks, my favourites are what we can see of these more casual outfits-I love what F.K.A Twigs and H.E.R are wearing, the headscarf with the leatherjacket on top is in particular very throwback rockabilly, and I’m even into whatever it is Usher’s got on.

(L-R: Olivia O’Brien, Amine, and Alrissa)

(L-R: Salem Mitchell, Machine Gun Kelly, and Sydney Sweeney)

Now, how to round this all up!? How to relate the confusingly persistent but very welcome presence of Sydney Sweeney on, like, ALL these red carpets back to the MET!?

IDEK. It’s been a long year. 

The Met Gala has usually come and gone before we know it, but with everything going on, it’s been the longest January-May I think most of us have ever known. I keep going on about COVID-19 in all my posts now but I have almost forgotten how to write an intro and outro because the pandemic is pretty much consistently on the brain and unless I have something right in front of me to use as a distraction, my mind tends to wander off into a very anxious place. I think, like many others, I feel frustrated and disappointed and angry with the way the situation is being handled by the people who are supposed to protect their citizens, and by how much of a fight some are putting up against measures that are in place to try and save lives. The point of this ramble, I guess, is that whilst we should never forget what’s going on and do the best we can to help prevent the spread of the virus, it’s okay to still care about mundane shit. Was this post one big long distraction for me? Probably. But if there’s something harmless you can do to keep your anxiety at bay, don’t feel bad for doing it. Contrary to popular belief, you can care about more than one thing at once. You can be sad that something you were looking forward to has been cancelled whilst still being sad for the people who are suffering because they’ve lost love ones or who have been forced into precarious living conditions. If talking about clothes on the internet is going to help you get through this pandemic, power to you.

If anyone has read til the end, thank you! I hope you are well! As always, feel free to reply to the post or inbox me with your thoughts! It doesn’t even have to be related to this post. If you’re struggling with everything going on, feel free to reach out too. I spend too much time on the internet anyway, lol! My plans are to finish my fashion week reviews and then I have a Lana Del Rey albums inspired lookbook which I pinched off the stans on Twitter (who I will of course credit when I write it!). For the time being, look after yourselves!

Lauren x

[argylemnwrites]

Change of Plans - Part 2

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Romance (An It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment universe AU, set nearly 3 years after that epilogue)

Word Count: ~3500

Rating: PG-13 (just some adult language)

Summary: Living in NYC in March 2020 is redefining normal for Drake and Riley. Life doesn’t always go according to plan during a pandemic, after all.

Author’s Note: Alright, I said this was going to be a two part AU inside my AU, but I lied. There will be three parts because I don’t know how to be brief, and I’ve really enjoyed exploring this scenario with these two.

Just like part 1, this does hint at or reference some events from the prologue and the first couple of chapters of Why Are We Still Waiting?, but it does not spoil the core content of the story. And again, Trigger warning for coronavirus discussions.

Riley checked over her appearance in the mirror, making sure her eyeliner looked even on both sides. It may be the middle of a pandemic, but she figured she was allowed a little vanity on her wedding day. Even if it was going to be a courthouse wedding with only one witness, she still wanted to look and feel like a bride, at least as much as was possible given the circumstances.

Finding a white dress had been difficult. Her actual wedding dress was with Hana for some “finishing touches” that she’d wanted to add, and other than a couple of button downs for work, white wasn’t really a color she ever chose for herself. For a hot minute last night, as she stood in front of the closet, taking in lots of bright and dark colors, she’d considered just saying “Fuck it” and wearing something red, but then she remembered the white dress she’d picked out for her bachelorette party when Hana was in New York a couple of months ago for a meeting with her North American directors. Sure, a white shift with some sparkly embellishments at the neckline and a hemline that was short enough that she had to be careful about bending over probably wasn’t the most “bridal” piece of clothing out there, but she had to work with what she had.

She really did want to make their elopement as close to a “standard” wedding as she could. As much as Drake insisted he was fully on board with eloping and that the details didn’t matter, as much as he would scoff if she ever mentioned it to him, she knew that the traditional marriage ceremony meant more to him than it did to her. He might not be big on over-the-top, storybook romantic gestures, but he definitely had more of a sentimental streak than she did, and she knew that part of him was going to miss having the chance to take those vows in front of friends and family, miss having those closest to them get together and celebrate taking that step. They hadn’t decided whether or not they were going to still have the reception in Texas as originally planned, but even if they did, Riley knew it wouldn’t feel quite the same for Drake.

To be honest, the thought of eloping had popped into Riley’s head numerous times over the past year or so. Back when they postponed the first time, a large part of her had wanted to march down to whatever municipal building they needed to and just do it. Growing up, it’s not like she dreamed of some fairy tale princess wedding or anything, and while the wedding she and Drake had put together sounded nice to her, it wasn’t something she needed. Plus, the thought of organizing everything again for a later date had sounded just miserable. 

She’d thrown the idea out there once. Eloping had wormed its way back into her mind right after they’d gotten back from Cordonia, about one week after their wedding was supposed to happen. Not able to shake the thought, she’d hinted at just getting married soon in New York. She remembered laying there on their couch, her head in Drake’s lap as she painted her fingernails with turquoise glitter polish, Drake combing his fingers through her hair absentmindedly as he watched the 11 o’clock news. She’d told him it was such bullshit that they weren’t married, that she wasn’t good at waiting. He’d been sweet, thanking her and telling her it would be worth it in the end, but it had been clear to her that he still wanted to go through with the whole wedding down on the ranch, even if it would take them a bit to save up money for new deposits. She had known that if she’d told him point blank that she wanted to elope, he would have done it. But that wouldn’t have been fair to him.

But now that the world had changed so drastically, eloping was Drake’s idea. And while Riley was fully on board with this change in their plans, she knew there was probably a part of Drake that was going to mourn the loss of their outdoor wedding on the ranch. Since she knew he was doing this largely for her benefit, she figured the least she could do was try and make everything feel as much like a wedding as possible. Try and make everything feel more like a celebration, not a desperate move to get her health insurance.

So, she had scrambled to throw together something resembling their wedding last night, after they got back from the Marriage Bureau with their license in hand. Drake had logged in remotely for work, trying to get ahead as best he could, hoping to be done with his work for tomorrow by noon while Riley had flipped through the binder Hana had put together for them, full of tips and advice she gained from her own wedding. Some parts obviously got pitched out from the start. There would be no toasts, no music, no personalized vows. On the other hand, some tasks couldn’t be easier. They already had their rings, for instance, and as far as photographers went, well Daniel and a smart phone was really their only option.

All things considered, Riley felt like she’d done a decent job with what she’d thrown together. Truth be told, winging things and just rolling along, letting her whims guide her felt so much more natural to her than filling out all those damn charts and timelines and tables that Hana had given her. After all, so many moments in her life had been defined by impulsive decisions, including accepting Maxwell’s invitation and getting on that flight to Cordonia. Throwing together a wedding in 24 hours felt almost fitting.

Giving her appearance a last once over in the mirror, she threw her lipstick and eyeliner in her purse that already held their license, the rings, and their passports and walked out of their bedroom. She’d heard the locks on their front door, and the kitchen sink was running, so she knew Drake was back from taking out Anderson for a quick walk. It was time to go.  

“Alright, you ready?” Riley asked as she walked into the main living space and over to the door, grabbing her leather jacket off the hook and slipping it on. 

“Yeah, we’re just gonna have to hail a cab because Dryve is in surge. Probably everyone trying to avoid-” Drake replied as he shut off the water with his elbow and grabbed the towel, but he stopped abruptly as he looked up at Riley. “Damn.”

Riley smiled as she finished putting on her jacket, flipping her hair out of the way. Drake had insisted he didn’t want to see what she was wearing until the last minute, just further proof to her that he really did crave those wedding traditions. She walked over to him with an exaggerated roll of her hips, unable to resist teasing him just a little. “Avoid what?”

His eyes traced over her body slowly. “What?”

“What is everyone trying to avoid?” she widened her eyes, trying to make herself look as innocent as possible as Drake’s gaze left her legs and snapped back to her face. But he just shook his head slightly, giving her a little smile, not taking her bait.

“Shit, I need to change. You look perfect, and I’m just-”

Riley rolled her eyes, grabbing the lapels on Drake’s sport coat and pulling him down into a gentle kiss. “You don’t need to sweet talk me. I already put my name on the marriage license,” she quipped as she pulled back. 

Drake lifted his hand to cup her cheek, but stopped himself, instead giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I’m serious, Liu. You’re so beautiful. Why did you tell me that jeans and a sport coat would be fine?”

“Because it is,” she said, shaking him lightly by his lapels, “While I’m glad you like this improvised look, keep in mind that this dress was originally intended to be worn to a trashy nightclub.”

“Does saying that I’m glad that didn’t happen make me a jealous asshole?” Drake asked, eyes roving over her legs quickly before jumping back to her face, “But seriously, I’ll go put on a suit if you want me to.”

She shook her head no emphatically. “You aren’t supposed to upstage a bride on her wedding day, Drake. Besides, you in some denim and me in some leather just kind of feels… right, ya know?”

He nodded slowly, sliding his hand from her shoulder down to her hand, lacing their fingers together. “So, you ready?”

“Absolutely.”

They walked the few blocks over to Church Avenue hand in hand, knowing they would have an easier time hailing a cab there than on their street. They had actually had a bit of a debate on how best to get to the Marriage Bureau, wondering if prolonged time stuck in a car with a driver would be riskier than braving the subway, but ultimately they’d decided one driver into Manhattan and one back would have to be safer than mass transit. Still, Riley could tell Drake was a bit on edge, particularly when their driver coughed once.

The traffic into lower Manhattan wasn’t terrible for a Wednesday afternoon, and soon enough they were pulling up outside the City Clerk Office building. Daniel was already there, standing off to the side of the steps, wearing a mask. Daniel being their witness was actually why they were going to the Manhattan location, not the slightly closer Brooklyn one. Daniel still lived in Manhattan, and his apartment was close enough that he could walk to this site. Since he now had no income coming in with the bar and restaurant closure order, it had seemed like a huge imposition to ask him to have to pay for transportation, particularly when his coming out for this at all was already a massive favor.

Daniel waved when he saw them getting out of the cab. “Are you guys excited?” he called out. When Riley had texted him with their plans and asked if he would possibly be willing to be their witness, he’d called back, very enthusiastic. After all, he’d told her, she never would have met Drake if it weren't for him. “I brought a wedding present for you guys.”

Riley laughed as he handed them a bottle of hand sanitizer. “This is probably the most sought after item in the city. We’re honored.”

After buying a little bouquet of calla lilies from a vendor at Daniel’s suggestion, they made their way inside. Security guards were there, staggering different groups of people, trying to maintain some distance in the long, narrow room. The three of them presented their IDs with the license, Drake took the ticket with their number, and then all they could really do was sit on the light green couches and wait.

Riley could tell Drake was antsy. He would alternate between sitting next to her, knee bouncing up and down slightly and pacing in front of her. Under normal circumstances, a clearly anxious groom might be the butt of some joke, but today nearly everyone seemed on edge. The atmosphere was tense, like every person there was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. The Marriage Bureau was busy, and she was sure she and Drake weren’t the only couple scrambling to tie the knot. 

As she looked over at him, repeatedly checking the time on his watch, she just knew he was worried they wouldn’t get called up today. She understood why that had him on edge. Not only would they have exposed themselves to dozens of people for no good reason, but it probably wouldn’t be too many more days before the Marriage Bureau was shut down as a non-essential court service. She knew that marrying her and getting her onto his health insurance had cemented itself in his mind as the one thing he could do to keep her safe, and if he wasn’t able to do that, he would feel like a failure. 

She placed her hand on his thigh, hoping to both calm him and stop his fidgeting, but he just wove their fingers together and squeezed tightly, his leg continuing to bounce beneath their hands. Oddly enough, for all his anxiety over the whole situation, Riley felt calmer than she had in a long time. All the struggles to get that wedding in Texas rescheduled, only for the world to throw a pandemic at them and force them to change their date again now could be forgotten. They were getting married on a whim in their city, basically just the two of them. It felt right, in a strange way, to her.

After their number was called the first time, after they had paid the fee for the ceremony and taken care of the final paperwork with Daniel, Riley had hoped that Drake might calm down slightly. After all, the ceremony was definitely going to happen now. They’d already signed and dated the papers. But as they moved back towards the couches, Riley realized how foolish that hope was. Drake had worked himself into a ball of tension. If she didn’t find a way to calm him down soon, he would be miserable all the way through the ceremony.

Back in the day, she had some signals with Daniel, both for when she needed rescuing and when she needed him to back off. Granted, the backing off had usually been when a table of men had been a manageable level of flirty, but she flashed those three fingers behind her back at this point not because she was hoping for an excellent tip, but because she needed some one-on-one time with Drake. Thankfully, Daniel recognized her move quickly, excusing himself to the restroom.

Riley sat down on the couches, hoping that Drake would sit next to her so she could talk to him and get him back in a calm mood. However, he continued pacing in front of her. Sensing that she needed to break his mental cycle sooner rather than later, she called out. “I’m gonna need you to chill out, just a little bit. Otherwise, I’m gonna start thinking it’s the thought of marrying me that has you all stressed.”

“How can you even say-” Drake started, whipping his head around to face her, but stopping when he saw the look she was giving him. Letting out a big sigh and running his hand through his hair, he started again, “I just don’t like being stuck indoors with this many people. Maybe we should have worn masks like Daniel. I don’t know. It just makes me uneasy. And the longer we have to sit here, the more people that walk past, and every time someone coughs or sneezes, I just feel sick to my stomach. I thought this was a good idea, but now I’m wondering if we just took a really foolish risk.”

“Drake,” Riley said, shaking her head slightly, “everything we do these days is a risk. Either of us taking Anderson out is a risk. Next time we need to buy food will be a risk. Hell, I was still going into the office less than a week ago. We’re doing everything we can to minimize that risk, though. And that’s all we can do. Right?”

Drake nodded briskly, but he continued his pacing. Riley sighed, wishing she’d thrown a flask in her bag. A little bit of whiskey might help him take the edge off right now. But she hadn’t, plus she got the feeling that openly drinking in a government building might not be the best idea. Oh well, time to try another distraction technique.

“I’m not wearing any underwear,” she said quietly, hoping only Drake could hear her.

“What the hell, Liu?” he asked, stopping his pacing immediately to pivot to face her fully. 

She shrugged and glanced around. “I just wanted to take your mind off everything that’s stressing you out.”

“So your strategy was… to tell me you aren’t wearing underwear? Even though that’s not true?”

“You don’t know it’s not true.”

He crouched down in front of her, staring straight into her eyes, trying to tell if she was bluffing or not. She just raised an eyebrow and gave him a coy little smile. 

“I don’t buy it,” Drake said after several moments, pushing himself back up to standing. However, he didn’t resume his frantic pacing.

“But you can’t really be sure, can you?”

Drake rolled his eyes and shook his head, “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

“Yup!” she responded brightly, dancing and shimmying a little in her seat before bursting out in laughter, “And you chose to tie yourself to me for life anyway!”

 Drake chuckled, plopping down on the couch next to her. “What was I thinking?”

“It’s not too late. You could still make a run for it.”

“Nah,” Drake said, grabbing her hand and nodding at Daniel as he walked back over to them, “I already signed the paperwork.”

Maybe 20 minutes later, they were called over to the next room with several other couples. Knowing they would be up soon, Riley tucked her engagement ring in the box with their wedding bands and squirted some hand sanitizer into both of their hands. And then, C875 was being called, and suddenly they were walking into a room with a rainbow painting, one bench, and a podium. For all the years of planning, for all their waiting around this afternoon, it almost felt surreal that this was really happening. 

As Drake clutched her hands, she barely was able to process that the ceremony had started. But the officiant was there and was speaking, even though Riley wasn’t really listening to the words he was saying. All she could do was focus on Drake, staring at her with such intensity and such earnestness, she thought she might cry. 

As Drake said “Yes” in response to whatever the officiant had been saying and slid her rings onto her finger, she knew she should probably pay attention to the officiant, because her turn was coming up next. But all she saw was Drake, his large hands working so gently to put those rings onto her left hand. Those hands that had held her and clung to her and that had been a constant in her life for so many years now.

Once the rings were in place, she heard the officiant start speaking again, this time asking her if she promised to love, honor, cherish, and keep Drake as her husband. But all she could think about was the steadiness Drake had brought to her previously flaky existence, his utter understanding of her as a messed up human being, and his complete acceptance of both her flaws and strengths. So when the officiant paused, she said “Yes.” It didn’t matter that she’d missed half the words he was saying. Committing to this man who saw her as she was, who trusted her and who she trusted just as much was not a hard thing to do. So she grabbed his band out of the box and worked it on to his finger, hopeful that he knew the slight tremble in her hand came not from nerves, but from adrenaline.

Riley looked up to find Drake’s eyes locked on her face, and she gave him a small smile as the officiant finished the ceremony with some words that she still was finding it hard to focus on. Somewhere in there, she heard “state of New York” and “married,” but before she could fully process that Drake was now her husband, he was tugging her close and kissing her, sliding his hands around her waist as her arms looped around his neck instinctively, one hand snaking into his hair, the other still clutching her bouquet.

When they pulled apart, the officiant immediately handed them their marriage certificate before briskly walking out of the room. That was it. After years of planning and just over 24 hours of scrambling, they were officially married with a ceremony that couldn’t have taken more than 60 seconds. Riley couldn’t help but chuckle. It somehow felt perfect for them - take it slow until you decide to barrel full steam ahead had always been their pattern.

“Holy shit, Drake!” she said with a laugh, pulling him down for another quick kiss, “We’re married.”

“I know, Riley. I know.”

“I love you so much.”

“Yeah, me too. So damn much.”

She threaded her right hand into his left, noticing the way his ring felt against her fingers as she tugged him towards the exit. The world might be a mess of uncertainty, but they would face it together as a team.

Permatag: @ravenpuff02 @octobereighth @drakewalker04 @kimmiedoo5 @speedyoperarascalparty @mfackenthal @lilyofchoices @thequeenofcronuts @jamesashtonisbae

The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir: @kingliam2019 @sirbeepsalot @texaskitten30 @princessleac1 @ladyangel70 @dcbbw @yaushie

Drake x MC only: @jovialyouthmusic @iplaydrake @gibbles82 @drakewalkerisreal @riley--walker @notoriouscs @butindeed @axwalker @drakesensworld  @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria

It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment: @wickedgypsymoon @thesumofmychoices @cosigottahavefaith @thequeenchoices @katedrakeohd @feartheendlesssummer @ao719 @ooo-barff-ooo @sunnyxdazed​  

[sirianisrock]

Birthday Girl

Boyd Holbrook x Female Reader (my bitch,actually)

Words : I don’t know, but it’s not long I guess

Warnings : fluff, too much fluff probably, poor English (sorry,not my first language)

Ok so, premise :

I wanted to make something for this special person, but special it’s not even enough to describe this girl. Today it’s her Birthday, [ damn bitch, aging looks GOOD on you ] and I tried to wish this hoe the bestest of birthdays “"writing”“ a little fic ( If I could definite it a fiction since my wRiTiNg sucks ) about her and the special man that stole her heart. Gotta say it, I’m a little jealous of Boyd for being lucky enough to own your heart, WOW.

This said,

Happy Birthday you goddamn bitch,

I love you with all my heart. And as I always say, Love you to the Death Star and back.  @nothing-but-a-comedy​

Today it’s a special day. Today’s YOUR special day.

Boyd knew you never were so enormously excited about your birthday, that you thought it was just another day like the others, after all. But he also knew you better than that, and he was sure that his special girl loved surprises.

He’d always been so in love with you, he loves everything about his Divya..he loves the way you are excited about simple things, the way you blush every time he tells you how beautiful you are and how much he loves you, the way your laugh fills the air and makes him laugh too, the way your sweet voice warms his heart, even more when you sing sweet lullabies to him before sleeping, while hugging you tight to his chest..

And god, no one knows how much you love that man back. You always told him that you didn’t want anything for your birthday, because you were already happy like this, and could wish nothing more than the life you were living with him. But, knowing Boyd, he’d always come home to you with little sweet surspises that made your heart swollen.

This year, things were going differently.

He’d been very busy with work recently, so you didn’t even think of trying to celebrate your birthday, you just wanted to spend a simple night with him cuddling on the sofa, eating some junky food and laugh at stupid shows on the tv while he kept you close to him.

You’ve always been a different girl, no big plans or expectations, and that was another thing that caught Boyd’s eye while he was falling in love with you.

You woke up to him caressing the soft skin of your neck with his fingers, giving you kisses so light that you could barely feel them, but gave you goosebumps at the same time. The sun’s rays filtered from the window, disturbing your still sensitive eyes.

"Good morning birthday girl” he whispered, his voice raspy and a soft smile spreaded on his still sleepy face. “Good morning to you” you said, turning completely to face him with a sweet smirk of yours.

He pulled you closer to his body, kissing your lips softly but with such passion that you felt warm inside. “I hate telling you, but you’ll be late for work if you don’t stop silly” you told him reluctantly. He groaned, knowing you were right but not wanting to ever leave your side. He gave you more kisses, making you giggle when he arrived to your throat, his moustaches tickling you. The sight of you was heavenly to him, he couldn’t help but smile.

However, for how much he hated it, after giving you a few more soft kisses on the lips, he then started dressing up to go. When he was ready, he came to your side of the bed, where you’ve been looking at him in complete adoration the whole time, and sat down. His left hand cupped your cheek, moving softly his thumb across it.

A look of guilt crossed his face, making you worry all of a sudden. “Baby, tonight I won’t be home till late..the director of the movie wants to talk about some particulars of the character I play and..I couldn’t postpone it..I’m so, so sorry..”

At his words your heart broke a little, but you knew it wasn’t his fault and didn’t want to make him feel guilty for that in any way.

You did your best understanding smile and told him that it wasn’t a problem, that you would eventually celebrate the next day, and that he knew you didn’t give much importance to the event anyway. He still felt a lot guilty for it, but gave you a tight hug and another kiss before leaving for work.

10 more minutes passed, and you decided to make youself something to eat for breakfast, it would distract you from the thought of being alone all day. Walking into the kitchen, on the table in the middle of the room there was a little jar of glass, with a card next to it.

You took a closer look, noticing the jar was full of tiny notes on the inside; picking up the card, you read

“Hi baby, it’s your amazing boyfriend [obviously]. Here is a little gift for you: as you noticed, inside of the jar there are many colourful notes. In each one of them, there’s written a different reason why I love you.

I promise I’ll be back soon, Love you with all my heart,

Happy Birthday princess”

A warm tear ran down your cheek, what did you do to deserve this man? No one has ever done such sweet things for you, and the love you had for him was almost overwhelming.

With a shaking hand, you reached for the jar and sat down at the table, starting to read every single note, delicately rolled up one by one. It took you almost a full hour, and lots of tears and hankies to read everything that Boyd wrote.

It felt unreal having someone that loved you that much, almost as if it was all a dream. But here it was, this crazy blonde man you fell in love with almost immediately years ago, writing down every single thing he loves about you. Not having him here with you on your Birthday wasn’t the best thing, but this little big gift he made for you already cheered you up, even though it also made you as emotional as a little girl.

At this point, since you took some free days from work thanks to the extra hours you did (and had nothing to do), you thought that maybe baking a cake to eat with Boyd when he would come back home didn’t sound like a bad idea. It could also be a cute way to thank him for all he did for you. So, following a recipe, you started cooking what would come out as a nice classic cheesecake.

A few hours went on, the Weeknd’s music in the background relaxing you while you were at work, helped even more making time pass faster than you thought.

Humming tunes and singing along with him, in the end the cake turned out pretty good, Boyd would love it in its simplicity.

After that you didn’t have much more ideas on what to do, you made yourself a simple sandwich for lunch, eating it in front of the tv. However, you weren’t paying much attention to the news; your thoughts were still occupied by the image of Boyd, you couldn’t wait for him to come home. After a while, not having any more ideas on how to pass the day, you decided to take a nap. Maybe that would help you going through some more hours without having to bother about..doing things or get bored.

You took Boyd’s favourite blanket and lied down on the sofa, his scent imprinted in it made you feel warm inside, cuddling you to sleep almost immediately.

A few knocks at the door woke you suddenly up; raising from the sofa and looking around a little confused, you noticed it was almost completely dark outside.

Damn, how much did you even sleep?

Another knock interrupted your trail of thoughts and you ran opening the door.

A blonde, tall, beautiful and scruffy looking man was standing here with a big roses’s bouquet, smiling down at you… your blonde beautiful man.

“Happy Birthday babygirl” he said, the sweetest smile of all appearing on his lips when he noticed your eyes watering.

“I..I thought you said you couldn’t be here tonight”, your voice a little shaky.

“How could I leave my favourite girl alone on her Birthday? Come here” He said, as you threw your arms around his neck, hugging him tight as he kept you as close to him as possible.

“Now now, those better be happy tears baby” With his thumb, he wiped them delicately away.

“Of course they are you.. crazy man” You looked at him, eyes full of love.

“You didn’t have to do all of this for me.. the jar.. the flowers.. It’s too much, you shouldn’t have to.. and how many roses are in there?! You gotta be damn crazy!”

He smiled at your simplicity, you were always thinking you didn’t deserve any of the things he did for you.

“Divya, it’s not too much, actually it’s nothing special at all. I just want you to be happy and never forget that I love you with all my being. You deserve this and more, if I was able to I would give you the whole world baby. And there are as many roses as your years, you old lady” he teased with a smirk, making you giggle at his observation.

He sweetly caressed your hair back, giving you a soft kiss on the forehead.

“So..you want me to stay outside or you think I could come in?” He joked, giving you a look.

“Mm I don’t know.. what do I get from it?” You smirked, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t test me baby, I could show you better if you let me come inside” he smirked back.

“Mm I don’t know, I’m not convinced at all…letting in a stranger..” You teased, and before you knew it Boyd lifted you from the ground bridal style and walked both of you inside, closing the door behind him with his foot.

“If this is the game you wanna play, I’m in, doll. But I gotta warn you..It’s gonna be a looong night..” He said, capturing your mouth with his lips in a soft but passionate kiss, making your heart skip more than a beat in your chest.

You knew you just signed up for a long night of celebrations with your man, and couldn’t feel happier about it.

[ I did my best, happy birthday again love ]

[bigruntheory]

            “To everything I’ve ever lost, thank you for setting me free.” 

This event happened in Tony William's backyard, Mount Victoria, NSW. Fri 27- Sun 29 November 2020.

This report will swing from serious to joking, but will at all times be genuine with the best intentions; you will just have to try your best to navigate the subtle or dramatic changes for yourself,  bearing that in mind. 

This report is a true (made up on the spot then heavily edited) account of events I experienced within the beating heart of endurance running, the true spiritual home of ultra, the best concept to emerge in running since putting one foot in front of the other:  A Last One Standing Endurance Race. (LOSER)

The Blue Goat Backyard LOSER is a little shorter than the official distance of 6.7 something kms, at just 5.23km a lap, but what it falls short of in distance, it more than makes up for in rugged, uneven, highly technical terrain-  which pretty much makes it Australia’s toughest LOS event. 

Whatever its comparable status, agreed or not, or however you approach it personally, it’s definitely an authentically challenging, scenic course, held within a supportive, fun, party atmosphere: 

 The buzz at the Blue Goat & Fatboy Slim’s Big Beach Boutique II - 

         equally awesome & hazy in my mind- and I was at both. 

These LOS events will work for anyone who enjoys to run.  The Blue Goat Backyard will work for anyone who enjoys to run challenging trails.  And if you don’t like running or trails or a challenge, then they will suit anyone who likes to party while other people do.  So they’re great events for everyone. 

The LOS format will especially suit you if you are on a path to self-discovery, self-transcendence or to just see how far you can personally go and run for, in one go.  You might be surprised to find that in just turning up to have a go, you discover new things about running, runners & yourself.  

 LOS event vibes & hubs will differ somewhat in style, and you can expect them to be as diverse and unique as their hosts-  they should all provide a brilliant gateway for some amazing personal journeys in running & in life.  This one delivered. 

The LOS format, and specifically the way that AAA racing & BMF organise events, means ANYONE of any ability, can come and enjoy the experience of their running lifetime, seeing how far they can go, or set a target of laps or distance and create a PB in a unique, supportive, safe and fun setting.  

When I say party and fun, I mean it. They had the most amazing Britpop and other timeless classics (Creedence/Stones/Beatle’s) blasting out the speaker all day and night; there was also a Robbie Williams song in there.....

Training and attitude will only take you so far- a lairy shirt must do the rest. 

In spite of the bushfires & the pandemic, this event still happened, as seen & predicted by me, which in part is why I felt so deeply that I had to be there. You can’t escape your destiny, really, so you had better make it double awesome when it arrives. 

After last years event ,which slipped under my radar for some reason, Tony’s backyard pretty much got burned to the ground in bushfires which massively damaged the whole Blue Mountains & Hawkesbury areas. There were also floods, which actually helped stop some of the fires but which bought their own destruction. This all happened during the end of 2019 and early 2020, after which everything went tits up, particularly for gyms, trainers & organised racing- due to the reaction to the COVID 19 bullshit pandemic.

                Fun on one of the Blue Goat Bees, earlier in the year.  

Getting involved behind the scene for this years event was great fun.  Seeing it transform gradually until the race day was awesome, it went from burnt sticks, charcoal and indistinguishable trails to looking like a nature trail again by race day.  It still has a way to go, but it’ll get there; it’s still a beautiful course which i parts feels like you are in the Grand Canyon at Blackheath, or the Grose valley, which are only just down the road.  

If I’m correct, I don’t think anyone really thought this event was gonna be on, due to the COVID, but I had no doubt at all… . I knew I had to be there helping out and I knew I had to be there on that starting line and knew I was definitely going there to be the last one standing.  This is not to say that it was time to put my feet up and just waltz in there like it was easy and in the bag - far from it.   I trained hard. Really hard. 

So call me mystic Steve if you like, but months prior to the event I bought a ticket and started manifesting, which is a pretty simple & powerful practice, not to be underestimated at all….it’s very much like goal setting to be honest, except there is a spiritual dimension and much that you can’t explain or prove scientifically.  It works very well with the art of training your body mind & spirit for tough challenges and healing, too, which really go hand in hand. You basically write your story then walk into it. 

                                                                             Law of attraction/ manifestation. 

This write up will cover some matters of running & strategy but mostly matters of the mind, heart & spirit. I present this to the world in genuine gratitude for the experience and I hope that it inspires others to be on that starting corral of an LOS event, wherever that may be, whatever your age, ability or experience.  

                                        How does it all work, this LOS?

Every hour on the hour, you have to be ready in the starting corral to go and run your lap, then back in time to do whatever you need to do-put your feet up, go to the loo, refuel or maybe have a banana & dance like no one is watching you- or in my case, like you are Bez from the Happy Mondays - whatever you do, however you roll, you have to be back in the staring corral to go do just one more lap, again.  It’s really as simple as that. One loop, one hour, make of it what you will and what you can; bring out your soul & enjoy!

  Should you do just one lap, you might find yourself in the position of saying, well why not see if I can do just one more? And so it goes…

These events are happening now, they are quite new & fresh and trust me, they will stand the test of time, because as I keep saying, there’s nothing conceptually better than the Last One Standing Format - it really is the Rock n Roll of endurance running & every event that happens has been a living testimony to that in one way or another.  

Even during a global pandemic, nothing could hold the LOS back; in fact it just got stronger & rose to another level.   While other events we imploding, postponing, being moved virtually and seeing reductions in numbers and interest, the annual Big Dog’s Backyard Ultra, usually in Tennessee,  went ahead, on a satellite basis, across the world, live on the internet, and made history with record breaking performances & a once in a lifetime twist to the team dynamic; a twist so good, and a global audience buzz so great, that even the satellite event format will definitely go forward in some form or other into 2021 and beyond…..so many benefits to keeping things local and compet8ing more widely.....

      The Australian Team sporting their AURA gear ready to take on the world.

Each country put a team together, which lifted the LOS format into another dimension. Instead of competing against your own team mates & globally in Tennessee, each country had their own teams on their own loops, competing against other teams. So in effect, this bought teams together and made the connection between the assist & the Last One Standing less of a battle of breaking the other down and more of a battle of building the other up, supporting them and remaining strong for the team.  How good is that to see in  competitive endurance running!?

                  Clint Eastwood, still cool after all these years.

I fell in love with the LOS format when I watched the Clint Eastwood Last One Standing, hosted by AAA Racing in Oxley Park Queensland and it was great to watch many of the same familiar faces, with the same party atmosphere, running together and taking on the world at the World Champs.  Massive, genuine kudos to the whole team from the Clint Eastwood  & The Big Dog satellite event, all runners and behind the scenes – and Sam Penny needs special mention for the GoPro awesomeness, without which I may never have had that fly on the wall buzz of being at the event.

So, runners of all ages and abilities, whatever your goal, this is your opportunity to get up and at it & be part of something life-changing, challenging & massively fun, one short lap at a time.

Don’t go thinking you have to be superman, genetically gifted or even an ultrarunner or even a ‘runner’ Basically just ditch any thought or label that creates doubt or fear or holds you back and simply get up and go for it. You just need to be willing to turn up and have a go & enjoy the experience.

        “Anyone can do anything”  Tony Williams, Blue Mountains Fitness.

So, there was this running race my running mates told me about & I can’t remember when I made the decision to be there but it was also around the time a running mate was talking about helping out building trails and tracks and I know this must sound vague and I’m probably getting my wires crossed but I somehow put these two ideas together & they gave birth to the idea that I needed to be at the Blue Goat Backyard. And that’s how it all began….

Thanks to Tony & Alun – the whole BMF & AAA Racing collective , Fabiano & Sean for being on hand to help and support and look after us through the night and day and Keith for the awesome photos- popping up all over the course to catch candid snaps- all the sponsors, too. T8 for the awesome shorts and underpants, Papadino’s for the Pizzas & the prize voucher even made peace with Tailwind and had a recoverite after the event.

Thanks to all the people I met and worked with on the several bees & for all the care, imagination & spirit that put energy into making this happen- the whole event- not just the LOS; all the work that goes into delivering a vision into reality, planting the seed & helping it grow.  

                            Hawkesbury Trail Runners

Massive shout out to the Hawkesbury Trail Runners!  So glad you all came to support the event you fell in love with last year before a period of tragedy hit the area and awesome to see you at the event (well, sort of -in the heat of the moment and the day, socialising was very short lived due to needing to cool down, fuel up and get back out;  and after the event, I puked up & conked out!) Managed to wave and mumble to a few of you and had a chat with regular run buddies Mike & Vicki.

You all did so well, especially in that fierce heat and I’m  quite fond of the memories of just blurting random stuff out in the zone- the Britpop running the event of your lifetime zone….

Congrats to Jackie and Claudio in their runs, had a brief chat with Jackie in the fierce heat....also to Matt & Jen from Plus Fitness running the marathon and half respectively on a tough course in tough conditions.

All any of us really need to do is turn up and make the most of it, and that’s exactly what everyone did; and that’s how a great event works, really, so let’s all do it again next year!  Mystic Steve predict big things happening in the Blue Goat Backyard for 2021…..!

Whilst I was busy running and didn’t get to join in the party for too long & during the later phases and the high heat was stumbling around like a bull in a china shop, it was huge fun singing, dancing &, running all night and day. The energy I drew from Britpop was out of this world!  I’ve never sung & danced at an Ultra or race before to my knowledge. It just got better with every lap!  

Massive thanks for all the runners I had a chitchat with and shared a song joke or story with, however mish mash it all was, it was great fun all night and day - and apologies for the audible fart and swearing- it was quite challenging keeping this under the radar at times.  

 Everyone who stepped up to that course was a winner whatever the goal, distance or outcome. Sorry if I missed you on the day, or if I didn't miss you but wasn't making much sense in the delirium of hot endurance. Here’s some awesome photos:

Rob heads up to the Corral.

It is said, when you blow this horn, Beer & Pizza arrives

The drone, sounds like a swarm of bees.

In all the excitement I forgot to get a t shirt. 

   Got some awesome car stickers though and part of a Goat’s skull. 

When I’m in the zone I often adopt a different persona and mindset-  I’m not the same often reserved introvert as when you see me under normal conditions; I guess the animated extroversion gets magnified , as you’d expect from anyone giving the performance of their life up on stage.  

There are moments of surrender, where I’m in total alignment with higher self, emitting my frequency with a genuine smile & peace into the world and that is where the practice creates the art.....

    Endurance running is all about finding your inner peace, well, sort of....

        I think Alun’s singing Tom Jones here- I’ve zoned out to Oasis classics

I missed the presentation- seems to be a trend of mine (happened after the Hounslow Double when, after accidentally busting in on the elite presentation, did I mention bull in china shop already? I went and nodded off in the car!) That was the inaugural year when Tony took out the first place in the Double by a long, long way.

After it was all over, I puked up then momentarily imploded and had a lie down.

                         Deep relaxation is really good for you.  

The medics gave me ice packs and aimed a big fan on me (was really nice to have a fan at one of my races, actually, i could get used to that) They took good care of me, so thank you for the care and the cups of tea and water I recall there were two of you and you were lovely.  I had a power snooze for a couple of minutes, which I think actually lasted a couple of hours, and I cooled down, which brought me back to life.

Before this, I fondly recall running up to the corral giving the goats a wave the final time and being greeted by everyone going wild.

                                                   Hello gorgeous.

I blurted out a speech, that I know would've made total sense to everyone if it actually left my lips the way it was written by my heart- the former not sure, the latter no doubts.  Basically gratitude, peace & love, keep going, never give up and things will get better- as in running so in life. ❤️

In spite of it being the hottest day of the year so far and genuinely a tough course we had a lot of laughs and fun moments in the middle of it all. Some of it is a Blur but most of it was Oasis and also notable tunes also from the Stone Roses, Muse, Radiohead, Prodigy, Rolling Stones, The Verve, Doves, Manics, REM and many many more

             Music is medicine & I’m so grateful to my musical brothers & sisters.

There were several different events happening at the same time during the heat and middle of the day and it became a little confusing at times with all the different energies going off around the hub, but once back into the peace & calm of focussing on the running every hour, everything made sense and came together. The music fired me up like a second wind every lap, I thought I was dreaming at one point, like I could not have scripted the day better if I’d have sat there and made up my own story about a perfect day out running around with Britpop classics in the background, because that’s exactly what it was like!  

Again, never underestimate the power of manifestation, positive thinking and the art of raising your vibration so that you attract good, positive people & experiences into your life.

I can’t wait to go to Queensland now and join in for an all weekend running party at the Clint Eastwood. I can see myself dancing and singing my way round that course al day and night and day and.....well, if they’ll let me in!

                           Correct, you also swear and sing a fair bit as well.

I’ve said it before I’ll keep saying it and you heard it from me first: There is nothing conceptually better in running than a Last One Standing Endurance Race. It’s the Rock n Roll of endurance running.  It’s raw, simple, pure & true and it happens in the now. It provides a stage for you to give the greatest performance of your life-  every present moment-  every hour, on the hour & all the minutes in between. It really gives you the opportunity to be loud & proud and really turn up, (not just to be fully in the present moment) your training and turn up your performance to the next level.

                                         Turn up, turn it up & BE LOUD!   

As in running so in life; God calls upon you to bring all that you are to the starting corral and step up into the very highest version of yourself. All your experiences, the culmination of physical mental & spiritual training, as you step into space, out past the music (of Britpop!) into the blinding lights, then the darkness & then the many winding turns that lead us to who knows where, because there is no finish, is no end….. the end is just the beginning, of another loop, another lap- another chance to shine.

                            Competitive mindset bypass. There is no finish, there is no competition, there is no advantage to being the fastest runner, no disadvantage to being the slowest. Anyone who can complete a lap in time to be back ready to go out on another, has an equal chance at being the last one standing to complete that beautiful, identical repetition of what we all love: simply running in nature; one foot in front of the other, moving forward, fully grounded in the present moment; putting the practice of our meditative flow state into effect as best we can.  

The reality of endurance trail running is that it is a tough struggle and your achievements are hard earned.   Such is anything worth doing.  And I’m sure anyone who heard me stumbling, swearing singing & shouting through the dark and the day, will  attest that I am not the exactly an oasis of calm- I’m probably more like Oasis the band.

As many of you may already realise or guess from reading this, I don’t take the competitive, type a personality,  or egoic side of running at all seriously.  I do genuinely regard running as part of a spiritual practice. It can at times be done purely as a spiritual practice, like meditation or Yoga or making music. Running can bring us together, individually and collectively. 

Not every time that  run do I run spiritually, just as not every time I sit down do I meditate or every time I pick up my guitar do I make medicine music; sometimes I just make a noise or just sit or just go and run and zone out to music, However, there is a great light to be found  when you just get out into nature and breathe and move gracefully, gratefully and in complete alignment with the flow of the universe and everything in it. 

The Bluegoat track, like a spiritual path, is rocky, uneven, twisting & turning, it requires total concentration & surrender to the process; still you may trip, slip, maybe fall; there will be blood, sweat  & tears….you need to climb & descend, there are milestones, you meet others at different stages in their journeys and there is no finish in sight; there are surprises, tests and you find yourself back at the beginning with each cycle….

There are tears and laughter and moments you don’t even comprehend at the time. It can be dark and ugly and chew you up and spit you out many times, all day long in fact....until you surrender to the process and let go.....Then you may see, there are obstacles and trials, but they are not in your way; the only thing standing in your way is you – and that’s really more of an illusion you created than a real living person, so you just get your unreal self out of the way and let your best self shine-  & shine it does…. 

You can tell this is lap 1 - my legs are the still the same colour as my shirt.

All you need to succeed, at whatever you turn your mind to, is a single-minded determinism- pure focus & intention of putting one foot in front of the other and deciding not to stop until you have succeeded.  May you spirit drive your machine wherever you may roam, knowing within you , is where you are home,.

So now we know the power of manifestation and endurance and the value of community &  service to others, the plan must be created to use apply energy skills to seed & grow something of genuine, lasting value in this world.  So that’s what’s gonna happen….it’s out there in the Universe, God is my witness, momentum is building,  so watch this space….like, not literally here this is just a web page. 

Whilst I train & participate in events during all conditions, phases & biorhythms, I do love a full moon.   Clear full moon nights are magical & highly energetic; Blue Moon rising at the Blue Goat was perfectly poetic!

I'm not knocking a new moon, by polar contrast, or any other phase, but the energy was just right and I guess I was feeling lucky.

Let’s talk about feeling ‘lucky’ as I’ve already stated my predictions and what I positively manifested with my energies & intentions form the moment I made the instant decision to be at this race.  

I basically created my own luck through being completely honest with myself whether this was something I could achieve.

Did I have what it takes to run at an LOS event? Of course, I did, no doubts at all. Why? Not arrogance or confidence, but the format itself.  You can’t really lose in an LOS unless you are the last one standing!  So going to win is going lose, and losing is glorious in all its forms.   There is no shame in the DNF (Did Not Finish) at all if you’ve given your all. The DNF in other events is nothing to strive for or celebrate, but the DNF in the LOSER is a test to see how far you can go….what could be more pure? And the only one who doesn’t get to fully reach their potential on the day; reach the peak of what they can do on that day, during their race time, is the Last One Standing.

I created my own luck by setting my intention and my energy to creating & following a training program that would enable me to achieve my goals.  I visualised being the last one standing for months and I trained like it was in the bag already, because that was what I felt deeply.

I knew it was my time & I had the God given ability to create my story & walk right into it.  I said many times during the event that it was just perfect and that I couldn’t have scripted it better myself.  I stepped into a higher version of myself that I’d created through some very tough training & some heartfelt actions; in another sense it felt like I was on stage performing.  

Apart from key milestones that marked out the path of consistent focus and intuitive training, as I regained fitness from hiatus, there were some very specific and tough challenges that I set myself in order to prepare for a race of this nature. A race that just goes & goes & goes interminably requires you to leave no stone unturned regards you physical body, your mental ability your nutrition plan & your spirit. Someone once said runners don’t’ run with their legs they run with their arms.  I believe runners. once the body is trained sufficiently, run with their minds- and the mind is fuelled by limitless energy & power of the spirit.  

So you go through every motion of training and preparing your physical body and you feed you mind and your spirit with positive thoughts and genuine love for self & for others. If you don’t see this kind of thing in training programs, then you soon will do just as soon as I can get my shit together…..

I’d watched the Clint Eastwood & I’d watched the Big Dog & I fell in love with the concept of the LOS. I fell in love with all the people in the front row. The runners slogging it out in the Clint Eastwood LOS & the Australian team at Bigs Backyard Ultra satellite event. I decided in a moment that I wanted to be part of it, so I made it happen; the moment I’d made my mind up, everything started falling into place and I was sent signs and opportunities that I had to take without a moments thought. I knew that everything surrounding this journey had to be  centered on other, something outside of, larger than self.

 An ex Army bloke from the UK RunGrahamRun was doing a mental health charity treadmill World Record helping blokes with mental health and suicide prevention.  The run was to complete 21  marathons in 7 days – on a treadmill! . He invited teams to rival of beat him in the challenge. So I supported this and set out to do just 7 marathons in 7 days.

This set me up very nicely for the next opportunity in my path, which was to support Mark Avery doing a 20 marathons in 20 days challenge for Gotch4Life and Run4MentalFitness- an Australian blokes charity helping with suicide prevention and setting up places for blokes to engage in ways that deal with the root of bloke issues.  Safe places to share stories, feelings and concerns without judgement. 

Instead of just marathons,  I actually did ultramarathons and also added in a lot of cycling. I know how to listen to my body and push it through adaptations with fasting, nutrition & specifically focussed rotations across all terrains and relevant speeds and intensities.  You are really just calibrating a complex God driven physical body through a series of experiences in order to achieve a specific goal. 

The goal in this instance was conceptually perfect in that it was technically interminable, ie. kind of eternal.  You simply had to train to go as far as you could go; so you had to see how close to the edge you could get to that point in the training, without breaking yourself.   

I genuinely pushed my limits and discovered more about running and endurance than all the hours my studying had taught me, and infinitely more than debating with ultra coaches online could ever have revealed. I trained and pushed harder and longer than ever before and also balanced that with more rest & recovery and fine tuning than ever before. I applied every technique I knew and discovered exactly what nutrition worked best in all situations. 

After all the training and the experience of others doubts, I thought it would be quite amusing to win one of the toughest ultra endurance challenges in Australia while singing and dancing & wearing a lairy pink shirt and cargo shorts I got from Big W, fuelled up with honey water, bananas and hemp and walnut oil .   I had a plan, a 50 hour plan. It consisted of 30 litres of honey water (1kg raw honey per 10l)  25 ripe bananas, 250ml x Hemp seed oil 250ml x Walnut oil, a few vitamin e capsules and  a few coq10 capsules. 

So let that be a cheeky lesson to all you very serious runners in your expensive compression gear, with your gadgets & gimmicks and fancy nutritional products & lord knows what else you use, slogging away to the beat of your watch, as I did before a great meltdown of over training and loss of genuine joy-  in running and in life.  In many ways the way I run today is a result of hard lessons and failures, or going too far too son, and burning out. I’ve been obsessed with a quicker this a quicker that, gotta beat the last time every time.....lets set an unrealistic goal....it slowly takes all the joy out of your passion like all addictions inevitably do. 

Let this light shine on those who talk the talk so readily in their little cliques and so called training groups, especially those who have personally attacked me and tried to shut me down or censor the story of my training and my experiences for reasons best known to their egos and projected issues. I forgive ya. 

 May the light of my achievements and those of my brothers & sisters- everyone walking the walk- everyone saying I can-  illuminate the dark attitudes of the ‘can’t’do this ‘can’t’ do that-  and the put downs and rationalising words of so called science, and disbelief in your training, thinking , fuelling, wider wellness strategies..... genuine experiences......May my brothers & sisters who are in doubt, or disliking, hating, fearing, not loving, put down the ego, and find a better way.  May my walk inspire others to walk the walk and to never say they can’t do something, or be held back by others as to what they think they can or can’t achieve.  And may I long take all my own best advice back to my own heart as well and never forget it.  

Everyone, today, just get outside  and get moving and enjoy what you are doing and be grateful that you can do what you can do; and you’ll find that you can do a lot more and a lot more and a lot more......  

             Genuine footage from an online Ultra running research conference.

 I know what it’s like to lose things, we all do, but there’s no use banging on about that old story; a great spiritual teacher recently told me that I had to put that down and never pick it up again.... and so it is.  So know this - an event that celebrates losing in all its glory is of divine significance when you are running on a spiritual path.  You ether win or your learn ; and in a race/journey with no winners, everybody learns, which is a glorious & pure win win paradox. 

It takes the biggest fear in endurance running - the dreaded DNF (Did Not Finish) and turns it into a glorious badge of honour. A badge that says you gave your all. You went as far as YOU could go on that day, in that place. There is nothing to fear in the LOS regarding a DNF.  You really cannot lose.....

......unless you win!? Ooops, well, oh well, I think I can handle it. 

I wasn’t quite ready for my glorious DNF just yet, so I became the biggest LOSER.  And I’ll just have to wait and see where my glorious limits truly lie.....

                    I caught quite a tan out there. 

So, after an extended power snooze I revived myself and had some pizza and some Goat’s pish, and enjoyed the hospitality and company of Tony,Alun & Susannah, thereafter kipping on the sofa for the night, where upon I made a swift exit the next morning, before the England v Wales Rugby came on....I think I might’ve predicted the score and dIdn’t want to hang about for it.

Truth is, I had to get back to talk to my son Jack (also race strategy/challenge consultant) on the phone and then on Zoom and told him the news.. He was pleased I won, and notwithstanding the pep talks about the true nature of taking part, he  rightly likes it when I win.  I think it has a positive effect when your son knows that you’ve gone and done something a bit special, even if it might not make full sense to him now, it may well help him in the future, so that's a win win. I actually asked him during one of the training cycles (20 maras in 20 days) whether I should beat everyone on the leaderboard or let the organiser take the top spot. He said nah, beat him, I don’t think he’ll mind if you win. So that’s what I did.... thanks for the tip matey! 

So here endeth the tale of a fantastic weekend and experience, can’t wait for next year, see if we can get double the numbers starting and smash some course records. Hoping to see more of my running buddies on that starting corral with me having a dance and a song and then heading out onto the endless, beautiful loops of our own personal limits...... anything can and always does happen in a race- sorry journey- of this kind.  

You may be next years LOS, with me to help you to go as far as I possibly can, leaving YOU to do just one last loop and be the biggest LOSER on the day?  You know it makes sense.   Big love from Steve. :)

[aardvaark]

i wrote something similar to this in the tags of my most recent post basically but...

judy hale hc - childhood edition

thinking about the adults in judys life when she was a child. not the ones who neglected her - namely, her mother. the ones who were around, thought of her occasionally, wondered if she was alright.

1 the teacher who let judy stay after school for an hour, maybe two, because her mom hadnt come to pick her up yet. she saw a flash of embarrassment on the childs face, possibly, but didnt suspect its cause; judy would have known her mom was... well, away. that she wasnt coming because she hadnt come for about a week this time, but clearly today was the first time judy hadnt been able to slip away out the gate in the throng of parents and children, or escape to another exit around the back of the school. 

she’d tried, but her teacher had asked her what she was doing, and there was no good answer to that question. maybe the teacher let her go after a long enough time, or called a grandparent or aunt/uncle or someone to pick her up. but the teacher stayed concerned, started checking that judy had food every day, made judy wait in the warmth of the classroom for her mom when she was late after school (well, at least on the days this teacher was on after-school pick-up duty), or waiting for anyone else who was taking her that day, usually arriving late, judy having to call them last minute.

the teacher doesnt mind staying late every so often for the kids sake. shes a polite, responsible, independent child, especially for her age. the teacher figures this is maturity. judy does have some trouble making friends, however, so the teacher tries to encourage her by sitting her next to a more outgoing but equally nice kid. 

they also encourage judy to participate in community events when shes able to, even helping her to volunteer at the local nursing home despite her young age. she can read and talk to senior citizens there, and besides... the teacher has a feeling it will give her a sense of home. 

2 the staff at the local library, just around the corner from judys house. judy has spent plenty of time there, reading to distract herself or as a form of escapism, but of course the librarian didnt know this. the staff like her - shes polite and quiet and very kind, she brings books back on time, she reads to the little kids on the weekends. 

its unusual that her mom has never come here... judy spends most of her time in the library, and has never once been walked to or from the building by a parent. judy comes most days straight after school and stays late. she rarely has food, and often stays late enough that she must be missing dinners, but her mom never comes to get her, so everyone is under the assumption that her mom just reheats her food, and judy must have a snack on the way home from school. 

however, it becomes clear that she definitely isnt having food since lunch when she becomes a bit faint one evening (little did they know that this day, she had forgotten to pack recess and lunch, and her breakfast had been half an apple on the way out the door. she had only realised at recess - and punched herself quietly in the bathrooms. she was so stupid). after that, they brought a bowl of sweets for the counter, just little chewy lollies and the like, so that she’d at least not get faint. 

occasionally they offered her some food, which she tended not to accept until much later at night when she couldnt hide the growl in her stomach, but knew that going home meant being alone in the dark for another few hours. she tried to postpone cooking dinner until it was necessary for her to leave the safety and security of a public building like this library, and was eternally grateful that the staff often let her stay a little after hours. 

once, one staff member got a call from judy’s school at about 4:30pm. someone had already commented that the girl was late, but maybe she was home sick today (although that had never happened before). a teacher had phoned them, but judy had quickly asked for the phone before the librarian could clarify that this was not someone’s house, but a library. judy sounded panicked on the phone, asking very apologetically if someone could straighten something out at the school. the librarian obliged - they’d known judy for years, and she had never asked a favour, yet participated in any and every event the library held, and the kid had sounded very worried - only to have judy run up to her saying “hello, auntie!” and be whisked away before they could converse with the teacher. they decided against bringing that odd moment up to the rest of the staff... but... it gave them a weird feeling...

3 a parent at judy’s school, who’s child sits next to judy in class. they knew her mother back in the day, when they were at school, but hasnt seen her in years. boy, was high school wild if you were in judy’s mom’s group of friends! but theres no way they’re gonna mention that to a child - stories about drugs and drinking, mostly, nothing appropriate for a kid to be exposed to. they, of course, dont know what judy is exposed to, and honestly, hearing stories from years ago would not nearly be an issue in comparison.

although judy hangs out with their own child, they’ve never seen judy’s mom at the school. they dont think much of this - many parents work, and she knows from talking to judy that eleanor hale is a single parent, anyway. judy lives near enough to the school that she is able to walk home. still, they often do choose to let judy sleep over when she says her mom is going to be home very... er, late... and they sometimes take judy home with them. their child is far more energetic and loud than judy, so they do think its a little odd that they want to hang out with her. 

the parent asks their kid about that one time.

“she sits next to me!” is their response - these are quite young kids after all. sometimes friendship at that age is about proximity. but after a beat, they do add, thoughtfully, “my friends think im loud, and talk lots, and the best at sport in the whole grade - and i am! but judy thinks im nice.”

the parent doesnt forget that answer. they make sure to keep judy around from that moment onwards.